/2002_1237_A

24 M a y 2002 Issue 1237

Star Wars. Episode II. Want it you know you do... (Page 11)

Should keep you amused for

Student Housing In Jeopardy College authorities have approved plans to sell C l a y p o n d s h a l l of residence i n the summer of 2003 for a n estimated £8m.

C l a y p o n d s is situated i n E a l i n g a n d houses 332 students, mostly first year overseas postgraduates.

The College currently plans to refurbish Southside a n d Bernard Sunley halls i n the A u t u m n of 2003. If these refurbishments a n d the C l a y p o n d s sale both go ahead as p l a n n e d t h e n the College w i l l have to find a least 300 extra bed-spaces just to keep its guarantee of accommodation for all first year undergraduates. There w i l l be no space for overseas post-graduates, w h o are currently recognised as "priority c a s e s " for a place i n halls once a l l first year undergraduates have been housed.

A l t h o u g h the Rector's Committee on Student Residences met last week, the plans w e r e not made public unt i l a meeti n g of the College C o u n c i l last Friday. A n angry m e e t i ng of the Union's Executive Committee on M o n d a y established that College officials h a d failed to consult student before approving the plan.

s p i r a c y " a n d assured Felix that the guarantee of accommodation for a l l first-year undergraduates w o u l d somehow be met.

In the long term this may involve the construction of a n e w hall of residence near to the South Kensington campus. In the short term, it raises the possibility t h a t t h e sale of C l a y p o n d s m a y be delayed until October 2004 or e v e n 2005.

M a r k Tyler, the Warden of Clayponds, told Felix that "I'm disappointed w i t h the short-term v i e w t a k e n b y the College."

He also questioned the College's commitment towards overseas postgraduates.

Clayponds: Going, going... gone in 2003 Professor Rees Raw l i ngs, the Pro Rector (Educational Quality), t o l d Felix that "the students should have been informed... it should not have gone to College C o u n c i l as s u c h a surprise."

Clayponds w a s bought for £12.5m i n the early 1990's a n d valued i n 1996 at £11.8m. A n informed source, c i t i n g the recent surge i n London's residential property market, estimated that C l a y p o n d s might actually be w o r t h £15m, w h i c h with an w o u l d leave the College u n p l a n n e d c a s h surplus of £7m. Etienne

Senior College officials attempted to portray the decision as "cock-up, not con-

""Captain Ahab finally emerges from his cabin _ f a f some me > wna'e ivory."

JwT. .

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Licences Lengthened A decision to allow students the option of living in halls during the Easter vacation is currently being considered.

The changes have been proposed i n response to complaints from students a n d parents inconvenienced by having to pack up and move out of rooms in hall at the e n d of the spring term. A number of students also expressed a w i s h at the start of the current term to move back i n to prepare for forthcoming exams. Southside, Weeks, Linstead and Beit halls currently only offer accommodation licences l a s t i n g 34 weeks.

Extension of the licences of residents l i v i n g i n L i n s t e a d , Southside a n d Weeks halls have recently b e e n agreed, w h i c h w i l l enable students to stay in hall for the full 39 weeks of the academic year from this

retain its current 34-week status, in order to provide students w i t h a choice of licence length and enable the college to rent out rooms - in this, its 'premier' hall - for conference use during the Easter vacation.

This helps to generate funding for the college's residences refurbishment programme.

October. Southside halls are due to close next summer for refurbishment and a decision w i l l be taken then as to whether Southside w i l l be able to offer students the option of s t a y i n g i n hall over Easter w h e n it reopens in 2005.

David Francis, Deputy President for E d u c a t i o n a n d Welfare, has expressed concern that the changes to the length of Linstead Hall licences w i l l be u n l i k e l y to make much difference to those students from poorer backgrounds, but said that the Union is committed to ensuring students are provided w i t h both adequate care a n d "cheap, quality a c c o m m o d a tion," for as long as they require at university.

Beit is the one hall that w i l l

John S

i§:;!:

.

Southside: Easter home?

imperial • college ^

ADVICE

Housing Questions?

• What does a tenancy agreement mean?

• Can you move out early?

• Do you need repairs to your flat?

• What if you fall out with your housemates?

• Do you need a TV licence?

• Who has to pay for gas and electricity?

• What is council tax?

• What if your landlord keep bothering you?

• Can your landlord keep your deposit when you leave?

No Problem too Big or too Small!

I s s u e

1 2 3 7

24 M a y 2002 Editor: w i l l Dugdale Deputy Editor: A l i Wren N e w s & Sport: J o h n Stratford Reporter: Etienne Pollard M u s i c : Dave E d w a r d s Books: J o n M a t t h e w s A r t s : J o n Brenner Film: Darius N i k b i n C r o s s w o r d : Dr. Hot Fudge W i t h Thanks To: Everyone Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB Tel: 020 7594 8072 E m a i l : felix@ic.ac.uk Felix is a registered newspaper: ISSN 1040 - 0711 Copyright © Felix 2002 P r i n t e d b y M C P Lit ho

Big Al Fayed Four intrepid publicity-seekers have spent the past w e e k in the w i n d o w of Harrods m front of thousands of onlookers in an event promoting a n e w range of hi-tech internetlinked household appliances.

The L G Internet Family have lived i n the w i n d o w s of the exclusive Knightsbridge d e p a r t m e n t store between 10am and 7pm every day this w e e k in a custom-built futuristic 'house', a n d w i l l continue to do so until tomorrow evening. In the style of Big Brother, the family - w h i c h comprises parents Carl N e w m a n , a sales consultant from Leicestershire, and Sarah Wooster, a counsellor from South London, w i t h children Steve Wilson and Charlie Parker, students from M i l t o n Keynes a n d Leicester respec-

tively - have been set tasks to do b y members of the public, w h i c h have been presented to them throughout the w e e k b y a selection of celebrity visitors. A f t e r the store has closed, the four have b e e n able to relax a n d u n w i n d each evening in the plush Mandarin Oriental Hotel, w h i c h - like the Harrods store - is o w n e d by M o h a m m e d A l Fayed.

A m e d i a s c r u m met their first appearance in the w i n d o w s of the store on M o n d a y morning, as the event w a s g i v e n b l a n k e t coverage b y local, n a t i o n a l a n d international media. Viewers can track the family's every move through four w e b c a m s set up w i t h i n the Harrods house at www.lginternetfamily.co.uk.

John S

talk felix

Clubs & Societies: Training This term the Union w i l l be embarking upon a series of training sessions for newly elected club and society officers. By now, most clubs w i l l have elected their committees for next year and it is important that the n e w incumbents receive appropriate instruction in certain key areas before beginning their duties in October.

In t a k i n g on the mantle as a C l u b President, (sometimes c a l l e d Chair or Captain) you are responsible to the Chair of your governing committee, and eventually the Union President, for all aspects of your club or society (for example, the Rugby Club Captain is responsible to the Athletics Clubs Committee Chairman).

These aspects range from the health and safety of your members to the financial administration of your club.

Other members of your committee are responsible for certain elements of the running of your club. For example, the Treasurer w i l l clearly deal w i t h the day-today financial workings while the Secretary w i l l ensure that the club records are kept in good order and the proceedings of meetings are correctly recorded. These officers are all responsible to the Club President for

their particular fields of operation.

The Union has certain duties towards clubs and societies that it must endeavour to fulfil; these include providing certain facilities and resources. Likewise, your club or society has duties to the Union, such as complying w i t h current policy and rules, and conducting its operations democratically. We want you to have a basic knowledge of all these things before you embark upon your term of office. This is to protect yourselves, your members and the Union. It w i l l also make your lives and ours much easier come the start-of-term rush.

You should have been notified of your designated session by the outgoing committee of your club or by the Chair of your governing committee. The n e w President, Treasurer and Secretary (or equivalent) of your club are expected to attend. However, w e understand that w i t h exam season upon us your availability w i l l be limited.

This is w h y w e are offering a number of sessions, should you be unavailable for your designated session. If you w i s h to transfer to a different session, please inform the Student Activities Coordinator, Nick Gore (n.gore@ic.ac.uk), of the session

you w o u l d like to attend. Due to numbers, please only do this where necessary. It w i l l benefit you to attend the designated session w i t h other clubs of your type.

The format of the sessions is as follows: an initial introductory session (40-45 mms) covering general aspects of running a club w i l l be followed by free refreshments. The final two hours w i l l be divided into four short sessions covering finance, health & safety, running events and sponsorship/marketing. You w i l l be divided into four groups for this, moving around different rooms so that you attend each session. A l t h o u g h your initial reaction might be that not all the sessions w i l l be appropriate to you, I'm confident that you'll find something for everyone contained therein and hopefully it w i l l give you the confidence to try something n e w as part of your club's activities.

Finally, a reminder that the training is compulsory, for the reasons outlined above.

However, it's not supposed to be a chore, and I hope and expect that you w i l l find it useful and that it w i l l give you the confidence to lead your club effectively next term.

Rob

PoetrySoc: Readings When you hear someone talk about poetry, what goes through your m i n d ? U s u a l l y people imagine the school days w h e n teachers w o u l d thrust upon them some complicated lengthy pieces that are just too tedious. But really poetry is not like that, it should be appreciated for its beauty, its m u s i c a l and rhythmical quality and its unique w a y of p o r t r a y i n g things in another dimension.

This is w h a t the Poetry Society is about. There is no need for intimidation, everyone is welcome whether they fancy themselves as the next Poet Laureate or it's the first time they've w r i t t e n s o m e t hi ng.

Just come and read, and share it w i t h everyone. There is no

obligation to read, people can come and support, and just enjoy the relaxed chilled atmosphere and absorb the literary inspiration that w i l l be floating around!

There is scope for literature as well, in the name of prose.

M u s i c w i l l also be an important feature w i t h there b e i n g a b a c k g r o u n d tempo for the readers.

So what are you w a i t i n g for? come to the next meeting of the Poetry Society. You'll see poetry in a different way, in other words... you'll be enlightened!

Or, in other words: "Ever pondered the meaning of life wondering w h y you're here on this earth?

L o o k i n g for a n s w e r s to the questions you have and putting a value on your worth?

Don't w o r r y for you're not alone, M a n y others share your philosophical zone!

Does the sound of r h y m i n g words or prose, Bring a tingling sensation to your toes?

Or the art of making a verbal recipe make sense, Make your muscles go oh so less tense, Because you feel so relaxed and at ease, A s for the door to your answers you've found the keys.

Then my friends the Poetry Society's for you, With literature, philosophy and

music too.

Don't worry, you don't have to be like the Bard, Or even have to try very hard.

Speak your mind, a few words of what you think, Or delegate a speaker in case you go pink!

Come and listen and get a hold of the vibe, A n d become a member of this versification tribe.

A t t e n d w i t h an open m i n d in this ambience of chill, A n d be inspired I'm truly sure you w i l l !

So whether your love is like a 'red red rose,' or you're a fan of the Jaberwocky, Just come and be a part of this auspicious Poetry Soccy!"

Shabnam Parkar

felix talk

Fairtrade Week So, that Fairtrade Week went OK then? No, it w a s brilliant!

Students and free, h i g h quality chocolate, of course it w e n t well!

Basically it's the leaders of the developed nations at the G8 summits and bodies like the World Trade Organisation.

The M o v e m e n t also w a n t s n e w global laws to regulate the activities of international corporations.

Point taken. Last week you were banging on about banana growers. Got any bendy yellow things left?

C o n d o m w e e k has been a n d gone.

So, don't say: "I couldn't give a monkey's. " Do say: "Tell me more about the Trade Justice Movement L o b b y of M P s on June 19th!"

Why now?

June 2002 is a pivotal moment for the w o r l d ' s poor. Trade rules w i l l be high on the agend a of three international summits:

No, I meant the bananas!

Thank You Thanks to all w h o took part in the Fairtrade events last week. Especially to those w h o s t o p p e d to talk about the ideas b e h i n d Fairtrade. It is great to k n o w that so many p e o p l e are already t a k i n g action.

• E U Heads of State Summit: 21-22 June, Spain. • G8 Leaders Summit: 26-27 June, C a n a d a

S p e c i a l t h a n k s to a l l those w h o h e l p e d w i t h the stalls and to the groups and societies who lent support. B i g thanks to the U n i o n and U n i o n Catering for stocking Fairtrade coffee all week.

These w i l l be the first gatherings of w o r l d leaders since September 11. N o w is the time to make the call for a fairer, safer world.

A l l gone - chocolate, tea bags, coffee, fruit juice, cereal bars, brazil nut cookies, geo bars and divine bars.

And the bananas?

OK, so w e didn't get any free samples of bananas from the suppliers. Buy your o w n .

Now you have raised my awareness I know that buying Fairtrade goods will solve global poverty.

Get real.

But I thought you said...

Yes, yes, keep b u y i n g the Fairtrade stuff a n d kick up a fuss if your supermarket doesn't stock any.

So what's the problem?

Fairtrade makes a real difference to the producers, their children and their c o m m u n i ties.

Yes, I'm with you...

But the rules of international trade are stacked in favour of rich, developed nations.

Like what?

Some markets i n d e v e l o p e d countries are protected from competition from producers i n developing countries.

The World Trade Organisation is still dominated b y the richer nations. The US is w i l l i n g to ban the import of steel from the E U and UK, w h a t chance have developing nations?

So if we change the trade rules then millions of the world's poorest people will benefit?

You've got it!

But who makes the rules?

Fairtrade/Trade Justice...

What's the difference ?

Fairtrade products are n o w just one part of a w i d e r campaign. Last November leading charities, a i d a g e n c i e s a n d environmental campaigners came together to form the Trade Justice Movement.

These include Oxfam, Christian A i d , Cafod, Friends of the Earth, World Development Movement and People and Planet. Not to forget the B a n a n a Link!

What does the Movement want?

The Trade Justice Movement is calling for a n e w approach to food and farming to protect the livelihoods of poor farmers a n d the environment.

It is also arguing against n e w W T O plans for utilities in poor nations to be bought by private companies in the developed w o r l d and run to make profits.

• UN

World

Summit

on

Sustainable Development: 26 A u g u s t - 4 September, South Africa

What's happening?

A l l the member groups are supporting a mass lobby of m e m b e r s of Parliament at 3.30pm on the afternoon of Wednesday 19 June, w i t h t w o w a y s to take part.

The easy option: come along and be part of a huge M e x i c a n Wave of Noise that is going to roll a r o u n d the Palace of Westminster. B r i n g anything that w i l l make a loud noise.

Just the ideal post exam activity or revision anti-stress technique.

The

d e t a i l e d option: come along, do the w a v e , and then l o b b y your l o c a l M P about Trade Justice issues.

To join in the L o b b y contact A n d r e w or Susie at: chaplaincy@ic.ac.uk For more information v i s i t tradejusticemovement.org.uk

R

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talk back B a l a n c e Of P o w e r Dear Felix, H a v i n g read last w e e k ' s "Israeli response", I regret not h a v i n g w r i t t en to praise the courage of p e o p l e like Dr Sahibzada, acting like h u m a n shields. I don't w a n t to do a reply to their letters (although to l a m e n t that " t a x p a y e r s ' money" goes to finance the " U N emergency refugee agency", w h e n $3 billion a year goes to Israel, w i t h wagonloads of US/UK w e a p o n s , is particularly heartless). Of course I'm no anti-semite, actually I think the Israel state is a great achievement! But I've (slowly) realised h o w u n b a l a n c e d the middle-eastern conflict w a s . Perhaps w e should look at U N Security C o u n c i l resolution (you know, that i n t e r n a t i o n a l body...), that, i n October 2000 w a s "call[ing] on Israel, the occupying power, to abide scrupulously by its legal obligations." Similar international decisions, c a l l i n g for respect of peace treaties a n d respect of the Geneva conventions (duh?) are regularly vetoed by the US (since 1976), eliminating t h e m from m a i n s t r e a m de ba t e . Israel (the "peaceful" state that p u l l e d out of E g y p t and L e b a n o n only 20 years ago) has the benefit of affording PR and lobbying, and it shows. The death count goes on (similarly un-balanced), a n d " a n eye for an eye makes the whole w o r l d blind..."

Well, that almost made me forget about the US DoD/ " a private c o m p a n y " developping potential biological w e a p o n s (botulism) inside IC! Matthew C

Francis G o H o m e Dear Felix, W h y w o n ' t Francis go away? No-one really cared w h e n the election w a s on, and those w h o d i d voted no. Is this such a difficult concept to grasp? Surely he has better things to do t h a n continue a crusade that w a s essentially flawed from the start. A n d surely Felix isn't your personal forum for continually t r y i n g to make your point. I'll go n o w before I start swearing, and w i l l has to censor me.

Iain A n g u s

In Search Of M o d e r a t i o n I've been following the highly emotive debate that's been occurmg i n the pages of this august organ re: the IsraelPalestine conflict for some time now, and have noticed that most of the correspondents so far have h a d pretty extreme v i e w s on one side or the other. No doubtthey themselves don't think so and needless to say, I think that my o w n v i e w s are peculiarly moderate, too. You may disagree.

I have problems w i t h arguments that demonise the Palestinians universally as terrorists. I also have problems w i t h m u c h of the criticism of Israel w e hear in our media; Britain has a long, disgraceul history of anti-Semitism and I fear that m u c h of the anti-Israeli sentiment expressed under a pro-Palestinian, social justice flag is i n fact motivated by this ugly tendency.

I personally feel that m u c h of the Israeli military and political manouvering recently has been despicable, but then so have the horrific tactics of the Palestinian freedom-fighters, rallying to the call of the Intefada.

The striking thing about listening to people from both sides is their w i l l i n g ness to talk about atrocities perpertrated against them in the past, in stark contrast to their unwillingness to consider w h a t may h a p p e n in the future; Israeli incursions are not plausible attempts to prevent future suicide bombings - they are quite transparent attempts to p u n i s h the Palestinian population for giving succour to Israel's enemies. Members of Hamas and the A l - A q s a Brigades do not believe that b l o w i n g themselves up i n c r o w d e d Israeli streets w i l l bring about destruction of the whole Israeli state; they too are merely exacting an ill-targeted revenge for past wrongs. In Ireland w e h a d a name for such depressing spirals; w e called t h e m "tit-for-tat violence" and it w a s w i d e l y recognised that while such mindless thuggery persisted, chances for peaceful co-existence of the t w o populations were remote.

However, supporters of Israel w i l l tell y o u that the M i d d l e E a s t isn't like Northern Ireland - the Unionist communities and M a i n l a n d Britain never had to deal w i t h suicide bombings and mass murder on the scale perpetrated by the

radical Palestinians. Pro-Arab people, too, w i l l point out that the British government never sent helicopter g u n s h i p s to Bogside or the G a r v a c h y R o a d i n reprisal for Republican bombings. Both sides, again, are right; the M i d d l e East is in a m u c h more dire situation t h a n w e ever experienced in Ireland; m u c h worse i n terms of casualty numbers, m u c h w orse in terms of the brutality involved, m u c h worse in terms of the involvement b y other regional p o w e r s , b a c k i n g b o t h sides w i t h money, arms and political brinkmanship.

Of course, this only means that the solution has to be more drastic and w i l l require even greater leaps of faith b y one side or the other t h a n w a s the case i n Ireland. Unfortunately, though where the M i d d l e East excels is in the entrenchment of both sides; their steadfast refusal to move.

A t w h i c h point, predictably, an Israeli w i l l point out that N e t a n y a h u offered Arafat 97% of the o c c u p i e d territories back i n 1997 and an A r a b w i l l tell you that Arafat delivered however many months of Palestinian peace in 2000 but the Israelis d i d not give an inch. Both w i l l insist that these were selfless moves, designed to get a w a y from the conflict. Both sides w i l l be l y i n g . Israel's offers of l a n d have always carried conditions, have never provided a solution to the " p r o b l e m " (ie.

Illegal Israeli o c c u p a t i o n of) East J e r u s a l e m and most improtantly have never h a d the b a c k i n g of the Israeli people.

Temporary ceasefires on the A r a b side have always left the threat of a renewal of violence h a n g i n g over the Israeli population and have probably been u s e d b y Hamas, etc. to re-arm a n d scout out possible targets in Israel.

In short, the situation can never be hopeless but w h i l e supporters of each side remain blind to the needs, vulnerabilities and aspirations of the other side, it's pretty d a m n e d close.

Idris H a r d i n g

Yaffle Dear Felix Being a regular reader of Felix, I have noticed the t w o

subjects

which

have

appeared recently i n the letters column.

back talk A s I have an opinion o n both, I w i l l mention both.

Firstly, I think that most people are sick of the NUS debate, a n d w i s h it w o u l d go away. It appears that M r s Heeps a n d Francis w i l l not let it go, a n d are determined to keep the debate going as long as possible i n the pages of Felix. I have two solutions: Either they make their correspondence private (ie send it to each other without first going v i a Felix), or, after the last council of the year, they have a properly organised debate where they can air their v i e w s at each other and if people w a n t to listen to t h e m t h e n they can. I suspect that the prospect of such an event w i l l d r a w even fewer people to council t h a n w h e n council debated the constitution last term. A t least people w i l l be there w h o w a n t to hear the arguments, instead of having t h e m thrust u p o n t h e m in Felix.

Secondly: about the M i d d l e East. The letters w h i c h have appeared i n recent issues have both been correct, but they have only given their half of the story. Yes, there are A r a b terrorists, but the Israeli army is really no better. W h e n I w a s in the region last summer, I s a w a refugee camp just outside J e r u s a l e m , a n d h o w t h e J e w i s h settlement w a s encroaching o n the camp. That very day some of the homes h a d been bulldozed, for w h i c h the owners have to p a y the Israeli government "for its services", so to speak. O n a side trip to Ra m ' A l l a h , I w a s lucky to get out a g a i n before t h e c h e c k p o i n t w a s closed. I also s a w the scene of the suicide b o m b i n g in Tel A v i v last June.

Basically the point I w a n t to raise is this: Both sides have done things that they should not. I don't condone suicide b o m b i n g or any form of terrorism at all.

Equally, the treatment of the Palestinian people b y the Israeli army is nothing short of oppression. To give people an indication of w h a t it is like, imagine British A r m y tanks rolling into residential districts of t o w n s i n Ireland. The very fact that I, a foreigner, w a s able to go there and leave three w e e k s later virtually hassle free is something w h i c h is denied to most Palestinians - they are not allowed p a s s p o r t s i n t h e same w a y v i r t u a l l y everybody else is i n the w orl d.

M a y b e I have a w r o n g underst andi n g of the situation, but it seems to me that this is the position: The Palestinians w a n t a

separate state, and are quite happy that Israel should exist as w e l l . The Israelis w a n t to have a J e w i s h state w h i c h includes all of the current West Bank and Gaza, and w i l l stop at nothing to achieve this. In that climate there w i l l never be peace.

I a m aware that I m a y make a lot of enemies w i t h this, but I think that the points need to be made.

Richard Thursby Maths 2

C o m m i t t e e dell'arte Dear Felix At

present

I a m the A r t s F e s t i v a l Committee for next year. Yes, that is right, the whole committee!

and you are w a r m l y w e l c o m e d to come and join in the events of Cricket Week (1421 June) which ends w i t h the Commemoration Ball.

The charities that w e supported were Cancer Research, who received ÂŁ1046 and The Hospice on the H i l l w h o also received ÂŁ1046. The Hospice o n the H i l l is an old peoples' home that have recently built n e w premises. They have to raise over eighty per cent of the money that is required to look after the people i n their home as they can only receive 17% government funding. The other charity that w e supported w a s Kent A i r A m b u l a n c e , as they recently air lifted one of our students, and they received ÂŁ2000.

Thank y o u to everyone that make Charity Week successful.

Tom B r a d s h a w Charity Week organiser 2001

Pros: Quick decision making, getting to write cheques to myself. Cons: The festival w i l l not happen!

So, I need PASSIONATE people (no, not that kind of passionate, Will!). If you w a n t to organise four weeks of Film, Theatre, M u s i c , Dance, Art , Workshops and m u c h more in the funkiest, biggest artsfest the w o r l d has ever seen, I need you.

I don't care whether you are Beethoven or if you believe that IC A r t s are more ridiculous t h a n white rap granpa T i m W e s t w o o d crossed w i t h a chipmunk. Your time and effort w i l l make the festival happen.

Interested? For more information email me at andrew.caisley@ic.ac.uk. cheers, A n d y

helped

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Last w e e k Wye College students presented just over four thousand pounds to three different charities. The money w a s raised during Charity Week over the past t w o years. M a n y different events were organised ranging from tug-of-war over the river a n d a tractor pull to the tradit i o n a l C h a m p a g n e Breakfast a n d the Charity Week Ball. This year all of the events were very w e l l supported, especially the Charity Week Ball w h i c h w a s attended b y several people from the Royal School of M i n e s a n d from Imperial College. It w a s good to see you all there

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Editorial I have just spent w h a t seems like a year d o i n g a l l t h a t snakes and ladders business on the next page, a n d to be honest, I really don't have the time. This is because I'm off to Holland o n a good o l d jolly w i t h a b u n c h of sporty types.

N o w I won't c l a i m that I don't w a n t to go, because obviously everyone loves to go off o n one and get p a i d for it, but to be honest, I might b e happier if the option h a d never arisen.

L i v i n g i n ignorance k i n d of t h i n g , y o u see. I'm g o i n g tomorrow morning, a n d not coming back until Friday night, so that's an entire w e e k of Felixing that I'm going to miss, w h i c h all has to b e done today. A n d I won't be able to deliver it. Hopefully that's a l l going to h a p p e n anyway, a n d a b i g thanks i n advance to John Stratford.

So w h e r e ' s

the gossip, I hear you ask. W e l l there isn't any. I haven't h a d l o n g enough since my last editorial to really build u p s t e a m a n d get myself into yet another precarious ( and s o m e t i m e s w o m a n related) position.

recognised me. This w a s very disconcerting. Oh, they w o u l d say, you're Will, aren't y o u , a n d t h e n proceed to regail me w i t h a p a r t i c u l a r anecdote involving a tape recorder that I shall never b e allowed to forget. Not, of course, that I w a n t to.

A l s o , u p o n introduction to anyone w h o d i d n ' t already recognise m y beautiful features, it w a s always 'my exboyfriend, Will', w h i c h I find always sticks you w i t h a bit of a s t i g m a . Why, people a s k themselves, d i d they split up?

W h y are they still friends? A m I a l l o w e d to t r y and pull h i m or her in front of the other. You k n o w t h e k i n d of t h i n g .

A n y w a y , m y point is that one day I a i m to be introduced to people as 'my friend, Will', or even, more simply, 'Will', but I suspect that if that ever happened, I w o u l d get upset and assume that the girl i n question w a s t r y i n g to hide the fact that w e u s e d to be w i t h each other.

I think the m a i n problem is that I'm feeling a bit sensitive still, so perhaps I should just M y only m i l d foray into the go o n holiday; but t h e n reguw o r l d of h e a r t b r e a k w a s lar readers of m y c o l u m n going to see m y ex-girlfriend k n o w a l l about the trouble I in B i r m i n g h a m . It has been get into w h e n I go away, so stated that I w a s m a d for maybe I'll just stick around for going, but I think that's more a bit. relating to t h e B i r m i n g h a m Oops, I'm going to Holland, aspect t h a n anything to do aren't I? It's only four days, w i t h my ex-girlfriend. but I strongly s u s p e c t I'll It w a s very strange, because she's a lovely person, and as such has not torn u p all the photos of us together, a n d i n s t e a d has t h e m (amongst m a n y other photos) b l u tacked up around her room.

Thus, w h e n I t u r n u p to meet a l l her n e w friends for the first time, since they've b e e n i n her room, t h e y a l l

come back to find m y parents r e m a r r i e d , a n d m y sister e n g a g e d to m y step father.

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Wednesday Thursday

Tuesday 39 Trivia W h o k n o w s w h e n the Battle Of H a s t i n g s w a s ?

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Alternative Music N e w releases played for your aural pleasure From glitchcore to riot g i r l ! I have no idea what that means... dBs. 5pm

Start revising for

37

such you try to stop d u n k i n g .

Wake up in d i t c h , and

If you've fallen in love cheerful, a n d this year, you've just d o w n r i g h t been dumped . Spend a c h e w week in bed w a l l o w i n g chew i n your o w n misery. chewy.

M i s s a go for every time you've been dumped .

Union, evening

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Episode II, attack of the

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fish. I haven't seen it yet, but apparently Yoda takes a hit of speed i n it, and bounces around a lot. Sounds cool to me.

Dolly Mixtures presents T E X T FLIRT. G e t into a textual relationship here!' Ooh ooh err. Silly, yet fun. I'd give it a go...

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17 Yon discover you don't like your course, and w h o can blame you. frankly. G o see your head tutor, who tells you

12 Jewel Her songs are a bit folkywolky, if you ask me, but she's mighty purdy, so you could just go along to perv.

Albert Hall

38

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music reviews OUT THIS WEEK The following are due out on M o n d a y 27 M a y : ALBUMS C K Y - Volume 1 T E T R A S P L E N D O U R - Splendid A n i m a t i o n SINGLES A M E R I C A N H E A D C H A R G E - Just So You K n o w G A R L I C - Not Over Yet G E R L I N G - Dust M e Selecta MISS B L A C K A M E R I C A - Talk Hard S A H A R A H O T N I G H T S - W i t h Or Without Control SIX BY S E V E N - A l l M y N e w Best Friends V I N E T T E - Lost In Berlin

LIVE: The White Stripes + The

Singles

Dirtbombs @ Shepherds Bush

Roundup

Forget w h a t you think you k n o w about The White Stripes, (pic above) The Strokes et al. If these bands are the saviours of rock, sent to earth to defend us from the onslaught of shite p o p music, then T h e D i r t b o m b s have come to save them from the inevitable slide into mediocrity.

V I N E T T E - Lost I n B e r l i n Spanish guitars and slinky beats d r a w you into the w o r l d of Vinette. W h e n Lost In Berlin, she brings gospel, s w i n g , soul and R&B to the feet of the listener, w i t h her rich and alluring vocals.

However, the lyrics let the s h o w d o w n , together w i t h the predictable tempo changes and overall impression of a Eurovision entry from one of those mid-table nations.

Tonight, the five-piece from Detroit (including t w o drummers) play a 45-minute set w h i c h is a re-education in rock 'n' roll and the best s h o w this correspondent has ever seen. The d r u m kit falls off the platform, and they play on. The d r u m kit falls apart, and they play on.

Within the first five (fantastic) songs, the lead guitarist throws every rock star pose imaginable and comes over to join the crowd. The b a n d quite blatantly enjoy themselves, and this feeling passes to the audience. They play amazing rock, roll, funk and blues. They love it, a n d so does the crowd. They also have the cutest tambourine player since, w e l l , a long time ago.

If you see one b a n d in the next year, make it this one. If you buy one a l b u m i n the next year, make it theirs. You o w e it to yourself and to the w o r l d to make this b a n d H U G E . O p e n your mind. Be educated.

H a v i n g said that, The W h i t e Stripes were amazing. Jack White has more stage presence t h a n it should be legally possible to possess, and he is the only m a n in the w o r l d w h o can sing like David B e c k h a m on h e l i u m and still be totally cool.

Tonight, they play louder a n d harder than ever. Ki c ki ng off w i t h Dead Leaves and The Dirty Ground, Jack immediately has the c r o w d right where he w a n t s them. Fell in Love With a Girl and Hotel Yorba produce scenes of mass chorus yelling a n d pogoing. M e g looks o n i n a daze as Jack loses it to the music, completely engrossed i n his o w n little rock w orl d. They play everything the c r o w d could want, plus some n e w stuff w h i c h sounds very promising indeed. Right now, they are one of the best acts in the w o r l d . C a t c h t h e m if you can.

Dominic

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Sajini

G E M M A HAYES - Hanging Around The single itself sounds a lot like P J Harvey, w i t h the same flowing vocals a n d rhythms. It's reasonable, but clearly not w h a t G e m m a Hayes does best - the B-sides are where the real quality lies, w i t h pretty, sleepy tunes. The guitars lull, the voice haunts, and altogether it's all really rather nice.

Jamie D J S H A D O W - You C a n ' t G o H o m e A g a i n The A-side of this w i l l probably surprise and confuse you, but w h e n you get used to the w e i r d eighties bass, guitar and synth and give it a chance, this proves to be an excellent return to the studio. After a long Royksopp-esque beginning, it builds to a superb breakbeat climax, but then you'd expect nothing less.

Nick

D J SHADOW COMPETITION! We've got F I V E exclusive D J S h a d o w mix C D s to give away.

E a c h contains five selections from his forthcoming a l b u m The Private Press.

Q U E S T I O N : W h a t is t h e n a m e of D J S h a d o w ' s g r o u n d b r e a k i n g debut a l b u m ? (a) Endtroducing (b) Leftism (c) Fat Of The Land Please email your answer, along w i t h your name, year and department, to m u s i c . f e l i x @ i c . a c . u k b y Thursday 30 May.

Pollock portrait of a drunk

Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones

S t a r r i n g E d H a r r i s , d i r e c t e d b y E d H a r r i s , a m o v i e a b o u t one of the t w e n t i e t h c e n t u r y ' s most i n f l u e n t i a l artists.

Abstrac t expressionist painter J a c k s o n Pollock w a s i n the fifties the most famous artist in the w o r l d . H is paint b y dripping technique had rocked the art estabishment and today his work is w o r t h millions. H i s u n h a p p y personal life, alcoholism, and premature death in a car crash also contributed to his legendary status.

F i r s t of a l l , I w o u l d just l i k e to say, a n d I don't k n o w if y o u agree w i t h me, t h a t Star Wars: E p i s o d e I - T h e P h a n t o m M e n a c e w a s a n absolute disgrace.

Pollock paints a brutal and depressing picture of a flawed genius who sought recogniton and at the same time stayed true to his art. J a c k s o n Pollock is the archetypal artist. Unhappy, temperamental, arrogant, and at the same time a perfectionist, a devotee to his work. However, the inner conflict w h i c h is the source of artistic inspiration lead in Pollock's case to an eventual and somewhat inevitable self-destruction.

The opening scenes of this biopic have Pollock, w ast ed, climbing up the stairs loudly shouting, "fuck Picasso, fuck Picasso!" This sets the trend for the rest of the movie. It alternates b e t w e e n periods where Pollock is out of control, drunk, and a b u s i n g his wife, Lee Krasner (oscar nominated M a r c i a G a y Harden), and moments where he is in his element, frenetically painting i n an almost trance-like mania.

This movie is not about Pollock the artist. It is about Pollock the man. Who w a s an artist. So strictly speaking it w a s about Pollock the artist. But the t w o are inseparable and it is on that point of fact that this movie slips up. The script touches u p o n many themes i n the artist's life but fails to give us any real insight into w h a t w a s going on inside Pollock's m i n d . The conflicts are self-evident but it is hard to relate to t h e m and by the end of the film Pollock remains a distant individual.

E d Harris' oscar nominated performance is a brilliant example of method acting. Previously to this, I h a d recently seen Glengarry Glen Ross (1992), where Harris m a n a g e d to shine in one of the the greatest acting ensembles ever lined-up. But Harris' performance in Pollock easily the highlight of his career.

So if you are sick of science here is a chance to see for yourself w h a t it is like to be a troubled artist.

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It w a s pitiful. Too m u c h politics and tax-dodging and not enough wars in the stars. So before w a t c h i n g Star Wars: Episode II - A t t a c k Of The Clones, I w a s still tut-tutting about h o w b a d Episode I w a s , and quite frankly I w a s anticipating more of the same.

Another factor that put A t t a c k Of The Clones at a preconceived disadvantage w a s a movie by the name of LotR: The Fellowship Of The Ring. Peter Jackson's epic w a s so good that Episode II h a d its work cut out already in m a k i n g an impression on me. Subconsciously, my judgement of the n e w Star Wars movie w o u l d be the outcome of a direct comparison w i t h the excellent L o r d Of The Rings movie.

Episode II is set ten years after The P h a n t o m M e na c e attack on the planet Naboo. After an attempt on Senator Padme A m i d a l a ' s (Natalie Portman) life, J e d i Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) a n d his p u p i l A n a k i n S k y w a l k e r (Hayden Christensen) are sent to find the assassin. They discover that all is not w h a t it seems, and soon, an inter-galactic political conspiracy involving an army of clones, a bounty hunter called Jango Fett, and a Sith L o r d begins to unravel itself.

The story line, despite looking good on paper, is very predictable and, despite one twist, sticks to classic Hollyood formula. What I found more interesting were the characters and the in-jokes, especially, w h e n Obi-Wan Kenobi, almost sarcastically says to Jar-Jar Binks, "it's great to see y o u back."

Fortunately, Jar-Jar does not feature heavily, but w e have m u c h more of Yoda, who actually flexes his light-sabre muscles in a memorable fight.

Episode II is better t h a n Episode I. But not, i n my mi nd, in the same league as the original trilogy. The visuals are generally astounding, (although C G is overused) the acting is good, and the plot at least held my attention. But the highlight w a s the J o h n Williams soundtrack w h i c h really took me back to the good old days.

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Moby Dick Herbert Melville

Brideshead Revisited Evelyn Waugh

Few w o u l d argue that Herbet Melville's Moby Dick is a classic piece of Ameri can literature, yet even fewer w o u l d disagree that the novel's opening line, "Call me Ishmael," evokes all the gravity of the tragedy to follow.

Brideshead Revisited w a s written by diarist Evelyn Waugh during the Second World War. It w a s Waugh's first popular novel, as he noted once saying that it lost him much of his colleagues' respect.

Despite this, Brideshead is w e l l k n o w n for its exquisite language and composition, as w e l l as for its romantic portrayal of England's past.

Moby Dick is set at the height of the American w hal i ng industry, fuelled b y the demand for the oil obtained from whale blubber.

Ishmael, our narrator, enlists on the infamous whaler from Nantucket, The Pequod, for its three-year voyage hunting the vast Sperm Whale. He and his companion, Queequeg, board the ship without ever meeting its captain, signed instead b y the ship's owners. It is only w h e n the ship is w e l l under w e i g h for its tropical hunting ground that Captain A h a b finally emerges from his cabin to meet the crew, a fearsome m a n standing w i t h one leg fashioned from whale ivory. A h a b unequivocally declares his w i s h for revenge against the whale that robbed h i m of a leg - a white whale k n o w n as M o b y Dick - k n o w n throughout the fishery for his expertise at evading capture, feared for his speed and ferocity, and recognised b y his distinctive white skin.

The remainder of the novel takes the broad form of a classic tragedy. Increasing unease about Ahab's vendetta and a range of mysterious characters encountered throughout the story function admirably as harbingers of doom. Surrounding this conflict and the hunt itself is a vast array of subplots and diversions. Melville, himself a whaler for a time, often lapses i n to potentially unappealing, detailed descriptions of w h a l i n g practice. Ishmael is often prone to long discourses on a variety of other topics as well, often w i t h only a tenuous link to the story. This perhaps highlights Melville's frustration regarding success of his previous work, w h i c h h a d certainly failed to earn h i m much renown in literary

The narrator, Charles Ryder, first meets Lord Sebastian Flyte at Oxford University and describes the growth of their friendship and his eventual meeting w i t h Sebastian's family. The Flytes live in the archetypal world of early twentieth century aristocracy, evidenced on first sight b y their family home - the mansion house of a town called Brideshead.

Charles' relationship w i t h the Flytes persists through his University life, early career and beyond marriage. While his relationship w i t h Sebastian becomes more sporadic throughout the book, his sister Julia and mother both have strong influences during his life. M a n y years after the events surrounding the family, Charles returns to the house during wartime, where he relates i n some of the finest language the events of those years.

Brideshead Revisited w a s televised quite some time ago by the BBC, maintaining much of Charles' soliloquy, w h i c h has thus become so famous among the generation preceding ours. That dramatisation fails, of course, to match the book's calibre, as many of the underlying themes are lost i n an attempt to represent the epic plot to a television audience.

This book may have its difficulties for the modern reader. The

Evelyn Waugh described his work as a study of a connected group of characters and has succeeded i n style. Its paragraphs, perhaps overly flowery for some, meander through the narrator's life from late teens to forties, over seas and b e t w e e n complicated relationships, decisions and consequences. Religion, war, politics, sexuality, class and love all have a role to play in the narrative.

19th Century American-English is certainly a curiosity to those used to classic E n g l i s h novels. A d d e d to this is a heavy dose of sea-faring language, though much of the important terminology is explained and it certainly helps establish the atmosphere.

Whatever you think of the book's entertainment value, it's undoubtedly w o r t h a read, both as classic literature, and as yet another study of humanity's endless flaws.

Some readers may find the style intolerably extravagant - even Waugh edited some of the more indulgent passages w h e n preparing later editions. Also, dramatic action may be found lacking, the work instead taking a more salubrious approach through Charles' experiences. Despite this, I w o u l d recommend this novel to any reader w i s h i n g to witness English wielded b y one of the finest craftsmen of his art.

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Tel : 0 2 0 7 5 8 1 1 3 3 3 Across 2. Small lap for each tart. (7) 7. Love affair follows gas creating a noisy disturbance. (7) 8. Clouds are a funny blue i n N o r t h A m e r i c a n East. (7) 9. Sexually perverted Sam is chaotic sod. (15) 14. Reserves left some queens out synthetic rubbers. (10) 15. Pair b e n d i n party. (3) 16. Sprite, an honourable fellow. (3) 17. I r u s h about after a friend without skill. (10) 20. Toy w i t h less quiet career i n London. (9,6) 25. Small cartridge gives y o u an idea? (7)

Down 1. Girl worries one cad, you, A l . (7) 2. Surge around b a d weather. (5) 3. A r e a of l a n d sounds like a painful group. (5) 4.

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12.

Sherpa Nicholas is full of s u d d e n fear. (5) A n i m a l endlessly preaches J u d a i s m . (5) Dead i n bed, overdue greetings. (7) One-off odds even back College man. (7) They're far too knowledgeable about coats. (7) Short ten follows m u s i c a l story to work. (7) Deputy Fuhrer surrounds East G e r m a n w o m a n on plane. (7)

26. Strong atmosphere, that is to say, sulphur, makes m a g i c a l little people. (7) 27. Serious organ breeding place. (7)

13.

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21.

22.

Clots hire sellers of attire. (9) Spiky cock, heartless lay. (7) One degree, drink, drug, picture it. (7) Sent to an island? They u s e d to be one, w e hear. (5) Concerning git over striped beast. (5)

23. Rummage for a gun. (5) 24. Duvet, beginner inside, give up. (5) a

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IC Boat Club The 23rd of M a r c h s a w excellent results at the H e a d of the River for the Imperial College boat club: the first eight finished 3rd, the seconds 9th, the thirds 24th, the fourths 73rd and the novices 96th overall.

In comparison, Brookes finished 2nd, 12th, 37th, 118th and 231st, and U L finished 18th and 31st w i t h their only two crews. A s you can see from these results w e were comfortably the best university overall, and were also the second best club in the country, be hi nd Leander.

to K i n g s t o n , w h o are fast becoming our archnvals.

League Rowing ( w w w . r o w l e a g u e . c o m).

A slightly shaky start meant that w e didn't lead from the

This last w e e k e n d saw IC divide and conquer, w i t h some going to Bedford regatta, some to Bourne at C h i s w i c k Bridge regatta and one eight venturi n g across the channel to race in Valenciennes, a n e w venture for the club.

The next day s a w the actual racing w i t h a 3500m time trial to decide w h o w o u l d go through into the 1000m multilane final. The time trial went w e l l w i t h our crew holding their form w e l l and rating 37 for the entire course. Our timing of the race gave us 10 minutes and 20 seconds, but the officials gave us a time of 13 minutes and 40 seconds, putt i n g us behind the home team!

first stroke, but by 250m it w a s clear that it w a s only b e t w e e n us and Dresden for the gold, with both crews level.

However b y 500m w e were a quarter of a l e n g t h u p on Dresden and this was where w e really settled into our r h y t h m at 39 strokes p e r minute. A t this point the rest of the field w e n t backwards as w e accelerated into the final stages a n d w e w o n b y a n extremely comfortable 7 seconds by the finish, recording 2 minutes and 48 seconds for the 1000m course.

A t Bedford there w a s an all

IC final in the Senior 1 coxed fours, w h i l e the w i n n e r s of that race were denied a w i n in the elite coxed fours as a result of a clash w i t h their opposition who refused to rer o w after our c o m p l a i n t s .

The next event w a s supBourne at C h w i c k Bridge posed to be B U S A , but unforresulted in an excellent w i n in tunately racing on the second the Womens' Novice double day where our top crews were sculls. M e a n w h i l e i n France, entered w a s cancelled due to on arrival in Valenciennes w e high w i n d s . O n the first day w e n t for a short practice padour women's s q u a d were i n action, but a combination of a dle before going to the hotel that our hosts h a d kindly p a i d crab and lack of time b e t w e e n for. In the evening there w a s a races unfortunately resulted in reception at the t o w n hall w i t h no medals. H o w e v e r over the last t w o weekends w e were the Mayor, w h i c h unfortunately w a s largely incomprehensiable to race, s t a r t i n g at ble due to our poor French.

Wallingford regatta. Here our This d i d however give us a elite eights came second a n d chance to meet the third, just losing to a stacked M a n c h e s t e r University crew Molesey crew w i t h numerous for t h e first time, w h o had international oarsmen, a n d the challenged u s for our longgirls came second in both senheld top spot in the University ior 2 and senior 3 coxed fours

Test Match Result The first test between E n g l a n d and Sri L a n k a ended in a d r a w at Lords on Monday.

In recording their highest score in sixty years of 529/5 dec, E n g l a n d m a n a g e d to save a match i n w h i c h they had earlier followed on. After scoring only 275 i n response impressive to S r i L a n k a ' s 555/8 dec. in the first innings, the chances of an E n g l a n d collapse and a n innings defeat were high. These fears were

unfounde d after a second innings opening partnership of 168 b y Marcus Trescothick a n d M i c h a e l Vaughan. This w a s followed by solid batting by Mark performances Butcher, Nasser H u s s a m and G r a h a m Thorpe, w h i c h made the result of a d r a w o n the final day the most likely outcome.

The second test (of three) starts o n t h e 30th M a y at Edgbaston.

However w e didn't complain too strongly as w e were still in the final along with Valencienes, Dresden, Delft, Westminster School, Skoll and Manchester.

The boat club is still extremely active, despite exams, and is really looking After a long afternoon of relaxing w e boated for t h e forward to racing at Womens' final (which w a s the last race H e nl ey a n d H e n l e y Royal of the day) in confident mood.

Regatta.

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Student Activities Assistant I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e U n i o n has a v a c a n c y for a p a r t - t i m e A s s i s t a n t (36 w e e k s t e r m - t i m e only, 10:30am-6:30p m M - F ) to p r o v i d e s u p p o r t to the S t u d e n t A c t i v i t i e s C o o r d i n a t o r i n the o r g a n i s a t i o n of s t u d e n t d e v e l o p m e n t a n d t r a i n i n g , c l u b s a n d societies s u p p o r t , m a i n t a i n i n g a d m i n i s t r a t i v e i n f o r m a t i o n , a u d i o v i s u a l a n d office e q u i p m e n t u p k e e p a n d l i a i s o n w i t h s p o r t s staff, d e p a r t m e n t s a n d facilities.

T h e successful a p p l i c a n t m u s t h a v e s o m e w o r k experi ence d e a l i n g w i t h c u s t o m e r s or clients, g o o d c o m m u n i c a t i o n s k i l l s , IT t e c h n i c a l e x p e r i e n c e , g o o d o r g a n i s a t i o n a l s k i l l s a n d be an o u t g o i n g self-starter w h o enjoys w o r k i n g i n a lively, s t u d e n t centred e n v i r o n m e n t .

L i t e r a c y a n d n u m e r a c y essential. K n o w l e d g e o f B U S A w o u l d be a d v a n t a g e o u s .

For a job d e s c r i p t i o n a n d s t a n d a r d a p p l i c a t i o n f o r m please p h o n e 0207 594 8060 or w r i t e to: M i c h e l l e L e w t H w a i t e ; Office M a n a g e r I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e U n i o n , Beit Q u a d r a n g l e Prince Consort Road, L o n d o n , S W 7 2BB E m a i l : union@ic.ac.uk

Imperial â&#x20AC;˘ college

club active

A C C Annual Dinner The A t h l e t i c C l u b s Committee m o v e d t h e venue of its a n n u a l d i n n e r t h i s year from t h e familiar a n d riotous U n i o n D i n i n g H a l l to the more p l u s h a n d more sedate restaurant of Jury's Hotel i n Kensington.

R e a s o n s for t h i s m a y have included classier surroundings, t h e promise of better food a n d , most importantly, a bar w h i c h remains open a full hour after the Union's.

exams the next day, a remarkably b a d coincidence w h i c h w a s t h e fault of someone w h o h i m s e l f h a d o n e of t h e s e e x a m s . D e s p i t e t h i s , everyt h i n g else seemed to r u n w i t h s w a n - l i k e smoothness w h i c h b e l i e d t h e frantic chaos w h i c h w e n t o n b e h i n d the scenes.

J u r y ' s i s a fine example of a p o s h L o n d o n hotel, a l l set out to impress A m e r i c a n tourists

O n t h e night itself, sixty or so p e o p l e from a v a r i e t y sports c l u b s t u r n e d u p i n a d a z z l i n g d i s p l a y of s n a z z y d r e s s i n g w h i c h w a s only surp a s s e d b y a Shell representative's full H i g h l a n d attire

w i t h its s t u n n i n g interior a n d yet w a s w i t h i n the b u d g e t of the average union committee.

T i c k e t p r i c e s w e r e further reduced b y generous sponsorship from Shell w h o s h o u l d b e a p p l a u d e d for t h i s a n d everyt h i n g else that they do. T h e hotel also offered u s entertainments to go w i t h t h e d i n ner b u t the request for c l o w n s and juggling dwarves w a s vetoed at the last minute.

Attendance w a s unfortunately t h i n n e d b y h u m a n i t i e s

w h i c h h a d t o b e seen t o b e believed. A seating p l a n that left nobody adrift from their mates h a d b e e n d e v i s e d a n d the large J u r y ' s tables h a d the a d d e d benefit of letting t h e p l a y e r s of different s p o r t s interact i n a non-shouting manner.

Food a n d w i n e w e r e expertl y d i s t r i b u t e d b y t h e hotel staff, a p l e a s i n g series of fish, l a m b a n d lemon meringue pie.

A c c o r d i n g to those w h o c o u l d make the comparison, the

Chelsea Cup Win Imperial College A team retained t h e C h e l s e a C u p o n M o n d a y 6 M a y for t h e t h i r d year i n a row.

The C h e l s e a C u p i s t h e bridge c o m p e t i t i o n b e t w e e n students a n d ex-students of colleges a n d universities i n L o n d o n a n d i s h e l d at Y o u n g C h e l s e a bridge c l u b i n E a r l s Court. T h e team this year consisted of Ryan Stephenson, C h a r l e s L e o n g , Ian C o o m b s a n d H a r r i e t Dingier. T h e event's s t r o n g field c o n t a i n e d eleven t e a m s m a n y of w h o m w e r e experienced ex-students, b u t a g o o d performance b y IC A that meant they finished sec-

o n d overall, a n d first of t h e current student teams. IC B team, w h i c h consisted mainly of players w h o only s t a r t e d p l a y i n g this academic year, managed to come eighth overall, a g o o d performance g i v e n their lack of experience i n competitions. A l l p a r t i c i pants i n the competition w o u l d like t o t h a n k Young C h e l s e a bridge club for hosti n g the event a n d J o h n Probst for d i r e c t i n g the competition.

I C U Bridge C l u b meets every T u e s d a y i n Seminar Room 3 o n t h e t h i r d floor of the U n i o n b u i l d i n g , from 6 p m . E - m a i l b r i d g e @ i c . a c . u k for details.

Ryan

Stephenson

food w a s even better t h a n the U L U Purples B a l l b u t at about half the price a n d w i t h a far more flexible dress code. A t o k e n enforcement of t h e Queen's Rules l a s t e d unt i l the people from Shell discreetly c o m m u n i c a t e d their increasi n g discomfort w i t h the w h o l e situation.

m a n of t h e year T i m Harbour who w a s awarded a gleaming, shiny n e w cup. the evening Inevitably d e s c e n d e d , d o w n s t a i r s , to t h e notorious Kavanagh's Irish Bar for some hardcore alcohol tolerance t e s t i n g a n d subtle p r a i s i n g of dress choices.

Cheers to everyone w h o helped w i t h the evening, Shell for m a k i n g it financially viable, Sen for h i s s h o w of support a n d smooth t a l k i n g t h e g u y s from Shell, Penny i n the union for d o i n g t h e t i c k e t s , G a r y R o b i n s o n for n o t a t t e n d i n g , J u r y ' s hotel for p r o v i d i n g u s a w a r d s w e r e g i v e n at the end: sports personality of the year w i t h seamless service a n d a delicious meal, b u t most Gavin Daisley - w h o w a s thanks go to T i m for d o i n g a a w a r d e d a b o t t l e of m a l t w h i s k y t o a s s i s t w i t h t h e lot of the donkey w o r k a n d for giving me a much needed improvement of his legendary personality a n d international sense of urgency. Next year should b e even better... d i p l o m a c y skills - a n d sports-

Those d e d i c a t e d s p o r t s m e n a n d w o m e n w h o h a d m a d e it p a s t t h e rigorous s e l e c t i o n procedure were presented w i t h their half a n d full colours b y T o m Pere, h e a d of Shell recruitment.

Two special

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BEIT QUAD BARS

International Rugby Union Heineken cup final

Saturday 25th Leicester v Munster 3pm

Sunday 26th Cngland v Barbarians 3pm

Friday 31st May, 11am World c u p opening ceremony 12.30pm France v Senegal

Saturday 1st June 12.30pm G e r m a n y v Saudi A r a b i a

Sunday 2nd June 10.30am England v Sweden 12.30pm Spain v Slovenia Bar o p e n 10am, no alcohol before 12pm