http://felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1956/1956_0100_A by Ravi Pall

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I.C. Union, Dep. 8th. Dear Sir, Your reference to the number of I 0 W A rians supporting their hop on Nov. 17th was 50 per oent in error. 12 members of the Association were there. This relatively small number i s due to the lack of support from the freshers at present. Ife hope that when they settle down, they will devote more time to the activities within their own Association. Incidentally, i f the President had forbidden fraternisation within the college, the numbers of ICWArian3 at the danoe might have been doubled. I ' l l try i t some time. Tours correctively, Wendy D.S. Pipe, President of ICWA. Students Temperance Society, W.C. Dec. 7th. Dear S i r , My a t t e n t i o n has been drawn to the fact that i t i s planned to include i n the new I.C. Union b u i l d i n g a room of considerable dimensions whose s o l e purpose i s the s a l e of intoxi c a t i n g l i q u o r s , and the singing of songs of a nature such that most members of the College are r i g h t l y shocked by the low moral standards displayed by the drunken p a r t i c i p a n t s .

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Of the f i f t e e n works on show at the Annual Exhibition of the I.C. Art Club only s i x are by students of the College. Whilst being g r a t e f u l to those who so g a l l a n t l y suscrlbe works to keep the Art Club Exhibitions going, we think I t A VERY POOR EFFORT on the part of the STUDENT BODY that only FOUR students out of a round number of TUP THOUSAND could find s u f f i c i e n t i n t e r e s t In the Art Club to submit work. The exhibition was worthy of a v i s i t , however, and there were some i n t e r e s t i n g works. Special mention should be made of the works of the President of the Club, S i r A l f r e d Bgerton. They t r u l y r e f l e c t the happiness which painting , as a hobby, can give. One cannot help f e e l i n g , though, on looking at one or two of the e x h i b i t s , that i t i s not so much the standard or q u a l i t y of the product which gives the pleasure, although this of course contributes, but the fun that can be had out of producing i t .

I t i s w e l l known t h a t the incidence o f drunkenness i n the younger generation i s i n c r easing, and the corresponding decline i n moral standards i s , I am sure, du-;> t o t h e d i s g u s t i n g habit of some students (fortunately few) drink l n g themselves i n s e n s i b l e on every passible occasion. Is i t not too l a t e t o nave the plans a l tered and convert t h i s room to some more usef u l purpose such as f o r communal hymn singing, or i f t h i s i s impossible t o l i m i t the l i q u i d s sold to those of a b e n e f i c i a l nature such as milk and orange j u i c e . Yours etc., A. Cnarles THOANUiY,

I.C. Trd.cn, MO. Jr&

Dear Sir, In the report on General Studies whioh appears in the last issue of Felix, i t i s stated that the leoture, "A British Cossunist looks at Hungary" was organised by the.Socialist S<->ei9"Sy. This was not so. I should like to point out that the 3oo. Soo. does not give platform to Corammist Party speakors except in content of general meetings of Socialists. The Socialist Sooiety consists of these of left-wing views, whether they are mild or extreme. I hope this mistake does not occur again. Yours sincerely, J.P. BIT 1 Ingham, Asst. Sec Soc Sec

I.C.TJhion, Deo. 6th. Dear Felix, Congratulations on joining that small but very select band â&#x20AC;˘who have made a century far I.C. long may your great innings continue. Gnome.

GO HEARTIEST CONGRATS ON HUNDREDTH BIRTHDAI STOP GO FIRST CLASS RECORD OF NBTS VISITS AND WIT STOP GO MAI FELIX ALWA2S CONTINUE TO TREAD ON THE TOES OF THOSE WHO NEED Tt STOP. R.I. SYKES.

ED. PHOENIX.

KNOW

FELIX

EDITORIAL

BOARD

T h i s a r t i c l e i s , I f e e l , j u s t i f i e d on the grounds that many readers do not know who produce the d r i v e l they buy once a f o r t n i g h t . A l s o , i t i s t r a d i t i o n a l t h a t an E d i t o r , as h i s E d i t o r s h i p draws to a c l o s e , should w r i t e t h i s P r o f i l e . So, i f you are not already s i c k of F e l i x blowing h i s own trumpet i n t h i s i s s u e , catalogued below you w i l l f i n d those f o r whose presence on the E d i t o r i a l Board I am most g r a t e f u l . May 1 put i n a word of thanks to our other helpers and sales s t a f f a l s o ? Felix i s very g r a t e f u l f o r , and most proud to have, their assistance. S u b - E d i t o r s : Chris Farrow, s e n i o r s u b - e d i t o r , i s a product of R.C.E. Chemistry and now i s a l s t . y r . p.g. i n Mines. I t i s he,who, with snooping nose and b l e a r y eye, seeks out the items he pens i n Nelson's Column. P e t e r Palmer i s a very c i v i l engineer and a l s o a f i r s t year p.g. - having been away f o r the l a s t two years i n i n d u s t r y . He i s one of the l e s s v o c i f e r o u s members of the board and i s r e s p o n s i b l e f o r the Coming Events Column and many of our"bread and b u t t e r " r e p o r t s . S e c r e t a r y : E l i z a b e t h Kranck, blondelCWArian p.g. i n Geochemistry, i s a Finnish-Canadian. She deals e f f i c i e n t l y with the mass of s e c r e t a r i a l work and a l s o helps out with the t y p i n g of the paper. Business Manager:(Treasurer): Ian Plummer, o f Mining I I , i s the man who r e s t r a i n s the w i l d spending sprees of the e d i t o r s . Apart from a l l t h i s n o n - c r e a t i v e work, he i s an a c t i v e r e p o r t er and producer of a r t i c l e s . P r o d u c t i o n Manager: P e t e r L e v i n (not to be confused with P.L. L e v i n e ) sees to the l a y o u t of the m a t e r i a l on the 'master copy' of the paper. When he i s not d o i n g t h i s , he i s p u r s u i n g h i s academic i n t e r e s t s : P h y s i c s I I I and sex. r a l e s Manager: E b u l l i e n t 3rd. y r . Chemist, Dave G r i f f i n comes from Welsh Wales. He and h i s f a n a t i c a l l y e n t h u s i a s t i c sales s t a f f have r a i s ed the c i r c u l a t i o n by 200 t h i s terra. Dai i s i n the I.C. C h o i r , the Dram. Soc., Boat Club, and i s on the R.C.S. Entertainments Committee. Sports E d i t o r : John B r a i t h w a i t e , a squash p l a y er h i m s e l f i s the a t h l e t i c clubs' o f f i c i a l s ' Knocker-Up on a Sunday morning when F e l i x i s made up. This chunky l i t t l e man i s i n C i v i l I I . With h i s a s s i s t a n t , Pete B r a z i e r , who types the r e p o r t s , John produces tbe s p o r t s pages i n h a l f the time everybody else takes to make up the remainder of the paper. Art E d i t o r : P a t B i l l i n g h a m i s i n Aero.II . He i s a t y p i c a l bearded-artist-cum-goon-typestudent. The r e s t of the Board are usual3Âťy able to r e s t r a i n him - blup. Photographic E d i t o r : F r e d 'Peanuts' Peacock, Chern. Eng. p.g., slaves f o r hours on end i n the dark-room y e t f i n d s time to w r i t e us a r t i c l e s . Fred has done a l o t of work to t r y and improve the standard of reproduction of photos i n F e l i x and t h i s i s already producing effective results. There then i s the Board. We work as a team i n which nobody should be picked out f o r especi a l praise. J.7.B.

YOUR KENSINGTON

"Proceeding down E x h i b i t i o n Road, we come to the Charming group of Lowther Gardens, two red b r i c k b u i l d i n g s by Mr. J . J . Stevenson. Next i s the ' C i t y and G u i l d s of London I n s t i t u t e ' . What are the g u i l d s of London ? The I n s t i t u t e , apart from i t s s i t u a t i o n , f o r i t ought to be i n the C i t y , and i t s absurd name, w i l l prove a great boon to the working man when i t s advantages and objects are known; but i t i s too many m i l e s from the d w e l l i n g s of those f o r whom i t i s intended. The b u i l d i n g i s dark r e d b r i c k w i t h c a r v i n g s i n l i g h t e r b r i c k , and has no m e r i t s that can be mentioned, unless p e r haps t h a t i t i s convenient f o r i t s purpose. The I n d i a Museum and other c o l l e c t i o n s f i l l the g a l l e r i e s a d j o i n i n g the old Royal H o r t i c u l t u r a l S o c i e t y ' s gardens. They present no f e a t u r e of a r c h i t e c t u r a l or h i s t o r i c i n t e r e s t as b u i l d i n g s . A new road and new b u i l d i n g s are to be made across p a r t of the s i t e f o r the I m p e r i a l I n s t i t u t e . So f a r as plans have been made p u b l i c they seem to r i v a l even the c i t y i n s t i t u t e i n i t s u g l i n e s s , and to form a mean between that and Mr. Waterhouse's s t i l l more unfortunat e N a t u r a l H i s t o r y Museum with which, to borrow a h e r a l d i c term, the b u i l d i n g w i l l be 'addorsed'." an e x t r a c t from a book by W.J. L o f t i e e n t i t l e d "A H i s t o r y of the P a r i s h of Kensington" p u b l i s h e d i n 1888.

BRAY'S

ELEGY

The following touching poem i s t9 he found an the wall of Room 117 of the Chemistry Department. It commemorates, the departure from I.C. of Douglas M. Gilbey after a period as a P.G., during whioh, lik,e most P.Gls, he was more remarkable for soaringrtheoretical aspirations than for mere practical achievement; for perpetual sleeping-and-waxing preoccupaticn with his research than for irreproachable timekeeping; far good fel+irrship than far efficiency. May his talents flourish under Government Service. His like are to be found in a l l research laboratories, and of them, as of him, this poem i s an appreciation and a memorial. Elegy Written i n a Chemistry Laboratory There's Watched Watohed Watched

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bench where Gilbey, many years ago moonbeams creeping o'er the C.R.0. dawn's faint whisper fade to evening's blur, moon slide up the sky, and s t i l l he did not stir.

There's the bench where Gilbey (lads, i t makes me weep) Passed the days i n slumber and the nights i n sleep, There's the chair he sat an when his work was dene. Where's the apparatus? Lad, there wasn't one. There's the Roy. Soo. Paper: it's unfinished yet. There's the heap of crosswords that helped him to forget; There's his coffee beaker, damp and thick with slime, S t i l l unwashed as ever (never had the time). When the work i s done, Tads, when the lamps are low, When the dawn's faint promise fades to evening's glow, When the apparatus i s in a steady state, That's when Gilbey's ghost comes, twenty minutes late. Then the ghost of Gilbey rustles through the room, Lights along the benches, whispers i n the gloom Ponderous dilemmas, deepest ever set: There's no doubt about i t , Gilbey's with us yet. A.R.Eray.

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Long ago the men of Mbrella Broke the land beneath the plough, Knew the ways that win the day:. How to make the sombre yew Yield the strong and supple bow. HALL

DINNER - ITS PURPOSE ?

K a i l Dinner was i n s t i t u t e d a few years ago with the object of providing s t a f f and students with an opportunity to meet informally at a socifll function. A subsidiary purpose was to give people a s u i t a b l e chance to entertain guests i n t h e i r college. These aims (especially the f i r s t ) were considered worthy of a handsome subsidy i n order to encourage people to s<ttend. One might expect from the rapid bookings for H a l l Dinners that tnese aims are being amply f u l f i l l e d . A more thorough investigHtlon shows that t h i s i s by no means the case, fome recent Hall Dinners have reduced the alleged objects to a farce. On December 11th. Hall dinner was arranged early so that diners could go on to the play. In other words, a oheup meal for those going to the play. Anyone wanting to go to H a l l Dinner i n the usual way was swamped out. There seems to be no j u s t i f i c a t i o n for subsidising such a function as t h i s , and even less j u s t i f i c a t i o n anyway for perverting an alleged H a l l Dinner out of a l l recognition. Eome weeks ago the Chemical Engineering Department presented some s i l v e r to the c o l l ege at a H a l l Dinner. This Dinner, too, was booked out i n record time, almost e n t i r e l y by members of the Chem. Eng. Department. This was,in f a c t , a Departmental occasion marked by ceremonies and speeches which could have been a pleasant addition to the Chemical Engineering Society's dinner a few weeks l a t e r but were wholly out of place at Hall Dinner, which was not r e a l l y a H a l l Dinner at a l l . Block bookings by large groups within the college were BAMIXD at the l a s t Union meeting by an overwhelming majority. Block bookings, of, f o r instance, a group old boys from a c e r t a i n school means simply that the college i s s u b s i d i s i n g an Old Boys' reunion, and an end to these block bookings should c e r t a i n l y give more people a chance and lend more s i g n i f i c a n c e to the true purpose of the function. Unfortunately block bookings i n considerable numbers seem to be the order of the day among the s t a f f . Gone ore the days when prof6. took i t i n turns to take the c h a i r . In fact the character of H a l l Dinner has become that of an o f f i c i a l college dinner at which studentts provide s pleasant chattering background to the entertainment of o f f i c i a l college guests. Some members of s t a f f v a l i a n t l y entertain t h e i r t u t o r i a l groups or other students and sometimes members of s t a f f are invited by students. THAT i s the true s p i r i t of H a l l Dinner, but this w i l l never be completely recaptured u n t i l the Dinner i s held f o r i t s own sake and not perverted i n t o a n " o f f i c i a l college dinner", or i n t o s p e c i a l occasions i n t e r e s t i n g only a f r a c t i o n of the community. - Food for thought f o r the H a l l Dinner committee. Hubert K. Smith

Then d i d a l l the men of Mbrella Know the secrets of the hollow And the wanders of the wood: How to tend the f r u i t l e s s fallow, How to guide the b.\ sting b i l l o w . Then the noble Through the wo Passed a glad -,j And from years Hose a richer \.

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I'iKjr) t iC li .utt'.V: •italKi- i t i s»« f«l That they put w\\ Learnti an oj •', for fviught UK-i." .'.,>.«.s Thus hy foolisi -in.-! oi' MLrei ! Was the s k i l l uC apes loot, While across ti..- toa/riing. billow Worked the v i r i l e Choo^um host Catching up and learning f a s t .

"Moron Choogums:" c r u the Mbreila, "Yet ire need our Morons too. Back room Mbrella, to ; our benches! Our survival rests with you." (Half aside) "You wretched crew!" S t i l l the muddled sons of Mbrella Passed idyllic days at school. Idle 30ng and useless tongue S t i l l distinguished sage from fool. Yet they learned one golden Rule ...

"Keep the backroom boys on tap But never l e t them top the tree, Then the men with nimble finder Turned i n silence to the sea. How could any bear t c jt.w?

Watt. A. Wt.-dsworth.

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BBC TBE FIRST EDITOR, So Felix i s 100. It makes me, the f i r s t Editor, feel even more ancient than the stresses and strains of nine years at the College have made me look; ancient, but rather smug that the paper we started in 1949 has become a regular feature of College l i f e . It also provides nve with the novel experience of being dunned by the Editor for an artiole - the biter bit. Of what oan one write on such an occasion? Of the perfidy of Governments (various, according to taste), the iniquitous oost of practically everything desirable,the dilatoriness of union contractors, the deplorable absence of present day Links in the bar on Thursdays, the antics of the most explosive President since Dai Nicholas left to get Big Business 30rted out - these and many more such subjeots would seem to be more properly the province of the present staff of Felix. I think the best thing to do i s to recall the early days of Felix. It is axiomatic that the Golden Age of any activity is that age in which one took part personally; the Age of Giants i s that immediately preceding i t . Thus, the Age of Giants in the Onion was the period immediately after the state of armed oonfliot we knew as The War. The Golden Age was the late IfO's and early 50's. In both these Ages a vast reorganisation of Union affairs took place, from which has emerged the Union we know today. Moat of the students at that time were ex-servicemen, mostly offioers, wise beyond their years i n the ways of this wicked world. It was particularly fortunate that t h i s influx of administrative experience should ooinoide with Dr. Hoyle becoming Treasurer; I suspect that few people now at College realise just how muoh we owe him .(not literally - read on) for his tremendous efforts in putting the Union finanoes on their present sound footing. It was right plaoe scrig) under to make the suggested a

during a discussion in the bar (the f o r discussion, and not just bawdy the general heading "what oan bo done Union mare oohesive?", Derek Howe College newspaper. This seemed a Good

Idea, and s t i l l d i d next day.

At that time Derek was Resident of - the Guilds and a tower of strength in the Hookey Club, the Dramatic Society and I.C.W.A. He i s now a monk of great renown, having wearied of the sordid l i f e we lead and joined a Roman Catholic teaching Order. When I last heard from him he was about to take his final vows. We got promises of support from what we regarded as the key points in the Union, the Athletic Clubs and the Mines (the Guilds we knew would support Derek, who was a very popular President. The R.C.S. would follow tamely enough, but the Mines oould have wrecked i t ) . Jimmy Booth and John Taylor of the Mines joined us, and Council voted a loan of, I think, £20 to cover the fir3t issue on the understanding that i t would then be self-supporting. Looking back on those early issues leaves .'•<••'

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literary standard of many of our contributors, and the often naive but essentially undergraduate flavour of the articles. The birth of the Beast was not without pain, but we had a lot of fun, and i t ia most gratifying to see him s t i l l to good fettle.

Reproduced from issue No. 3s

LAB.

REPORT

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D by de Tees 'Twas newyer and eggs-harmpul sheets were stacked.in p y a l l s on the f l u r e Ful f o r t i n e labbryports todo.... And hydears f f u r e and f f u r e . Attuch on showlder sterkled^r ». and with ^sslck beesarr the seeven deddly "don'ts" stepped out from L a s s i e Leigh's Streetcar. The f i r s t a Sage undressed me thuss "DON'T wurk mlladd, but dooo support the Onion, pray f o r eggzammes. In ccarse wurk u've no clew." The second with cordbreeks sowbrowne A miss hapwas suss pecked. "Don't slack old man, no time to waste, Is sheet ten, nine" correct? " A gladdsum t r i o hustled i n "Don't f r i t t e r time up here c o f f e at Jane's i s what you need we've a l l t u t o r i a l c l e a r . " An Old Central!an spoke up next "Mow don't neglect the Arts, do a l l your work, but row, dance, act. Let Homer feed your hearts". The F e l i x e d i t o r was l a s t •Don't f a i l to give support. I f you dont write a piece for us i t won't be what i t ought". 'Twas newyer and eggs-harapul sheets were stacked i n py&lls i n front, behind. FUl f o r t i n e labbryports todo but t h i s i s a l l that came to mind. dts

L S ? o The Editorship w i l l change hands i n the Mew Year. The next two issues w i l l be edited by Mr. David G r i f f i n (R.C.S. Chem 3.) with the present Editor acting i n an advisory capacity. Subsequent issues w i l l be edited by Dave alone. Good luck to him 1

Over the past few weeks there have been apparent i n student utterings more manifestations of acrimony than usual. Some c l a r i f i c a t i o n of the present s i t u a t i o n should be attempted. B a s i c a l l y there are four factions making up t h i s college. F i r s t l y there i s the academic s t a f f . Their function i s p r i m a r i l y to contribute to the advancement of present day knowledge of science and technology, and secondarily to teach students so that those also may eventually contribute. Secondly, there i s the student body, whose function i t i s p r i m a r i l y to study - s o c i a l and a t h l e t i c a c t i v i t y being only a necessary subordinate. T h i r d l y there i s the non-academic s t a f f , underpaid yet most necessary..Lastly, there i s ths Administration. Their function i s to see that the f i r s t three factions work together smoothly. They are not paid to i n t e r f e r e with the a f f a i r s of the other three sections i n cases when t h i s i s not necessary f o r admini s t r a t i n g purposes.

The Union holds no b r i e f f o r the s t a f f , academic or otherwise. I t holds no b r i e f against them e i t h e r . But i n shouting f o r 'student r i g h t s " one has to be c a r e f u l . Be who pays the p i p e r c a l l s the tune - and, furthermore, although a b i t t e r p i l l to swallow, a u n i v e r s i t y exists f o r i t s â&#x20AC;˘sabers the graduates and s t a f f . Undergraduates are a eeans to an end which has to be tolerated. You have the whole Christmas vacation to think t h i s over - please do not flood us with h a s t i l y written hot-tenpered l e t t e r s , that s e c t i o n of the c o l l e g e i s being most expended i n the present scheme ? On the other hand, the undergraduate i s en investor* He Invests three years of h i s l i f e In en education his country wants 85,000 to have i n the next ten years. He

Counoil met on Monday evening, 3rd of December, in the Upper Dining Hall. Arising out of the minutes of the last meeting the President reported that the Rector had disbanded the Commemoration Day Committee an the grounds that the main lines of the ceremony were now well established and that he saw no reason for prolonging the l i f e of a oommittee that had finished its work. At the previous Counoil Meeting we were informed that the Rector had also altered the Hall Dinner Committee and had reduoed the student representation from 5 to 2. However, he has since agreed to re-include the 3 Vice-Presidents on the Committee and i t ia hoped that they will take the opportunity to get Hall Dinner well and truly sorted out. It had been pointed out that the U.L.U. were able to produce meals similar to those at I.C. for 3d. or 4d. a course cheaper because the salaries of the permanent staff there were not charged against the Refectory but were in fact treated as a charge against the Administration. The following sohedule for Christmas olosing was agreed: (a) Ayrton Hall and Bar: Closed after lunoh on 21st Deo. until lunch on Jan. 2nd. (b) Union: Closed after lunch on 21 at Dso. until lunoh on Jan. 34th. (o) Snack Bar: Closed.after lunoh on 21st Deo. and open for breakfast only from 2nd to 14th Jan. and thereafter as before*

deserves some respect even i f he does not deserve a l l the hostel accomodation etc. that he claims. His Union deserves respectful treatment. Could anything have happened during 1996 to suggest that the Administration neve been attempting to insinuate t h e i r way i n t o Student Union a f f a i r e ? Who i s "generally responsible f o r the maintenance, cleaning, and running of the College b u i l d ings, and p a r t i c u l a r l y for amenities of the College" ? Is i t always possible that those l e s t seven words might be used to s h i e l d meddling by a tentacle of the administrating octopus ?

T F e l i x the Cat has now romped through Imperial C o l l e g e f o r seven y e a r s . He has remained e s s e n t i a l l y the earns s i n c e h i s b i r t h on the 9th, of .December 1949 when the f i r s t E d i t or, S.U. Hughes, announced i n I s s u e No. 1: "the need has been f e l t f o r some time f o r a f r e q u e n t l y p u b l i s h e d j o u r n a l to comment upon the a f f a i r s of t h e C o l l e g e w h i l s t they are s t i l J t o p i c a l , and to b r i n g to the a t t e n t i o n of its:' members the a c t i v i t i e s of Clubs and S o c i e t i e s o f w h i c h people a t p r e s e n t know i i t t l ' i , and knowing l i t t l e , tend to care even less. T h i s I F a f u n c t i o n which c l e a r l y cannot be performed by THE PHOENIX, p a r t i c u l a r l y sirvcis that estimable b i r d i e now to appear only twice a year, and eo FELIX has come to meet the need. We do not Intend to be complementary to t h a t j o u r n a l , sven i f not always complimentary. N e i t h e r are we i n any way connected with i t , nor are we i t s o f f s p r i n g , ( i n any case, t h i s u n f o r t u n a t e b i r d i s p r e sumably unable t o produce any o f f s p r i n g , s i n c e only one b i r d e x i s t s a t any one time, r i s i n g from the ashes of i t s predecessor. Perhaps t h i s R e c o u n t s f o r i t s d o l e f u l appearance). No, THE PHOENIX w i l l remain an e s s e n t i a l l y l i t e r a r y magazine, whereas we s h a l l content o u r s e l v e s with p r o v i d i n g a commentary upon events and p e r s o n a l i t i e s . " Mr. Hughes then went on to says"The success or f a i l u r e o f t h i s paper depends p r i n c i p a l l y upon you, our r e a d e r s . In the f i r s t p l a c e we depend upon you to produce many of our a r t i c l e s and r e p o r t s , s i n c e our s t n f f cannot themmlnes attend and r e p o r t every College <*vent. Secondl y . ....... l i v e l y correspondence a i r your opinions...... T h i r d l y buy your own copy " - a l l of which s t i l l h o l d s . •i.nn t i t l e o f t h e paper was suggested fey g CU SWELLS nnd T e d Bughes i a s t i l l known t o hie intta&tei

•„, ' F e l i x ' 'Hughes. l e d i a s t i l l

The 10th. i s s u e appeared i n the now f a m i l i a s t y l e . Only f o u r pages, the reduced s i z e of type enabled the i n c l u s i o n of the same amoum of s u b j e c t matter as b e f o r e . This was the C&rs F r e s h e r s ' I s s u e and contained the map o f South Kensington l a s t reproduced i n No. 95 (with m o d i f i c a t i o n s ) The next i s s u e had s i x pages,' which became the u s u a l s i z e upto Issu e 94. I t was n o t a b l e f o r " F e l i x Hoad Test No. 1 - The 1926 M o r r i s Cow]ey." And so we coul d go on; p i c k i n g gems from each F e l i x . Regretably space does not a l l o w t h i s . B e g i n n i n g to f l i p through the f l i c s i n s t e a d , one n o t i c e s that No.17 was p r i n t e d on b u f f paper. Successiv e e d i t i o n s were pink, b l u mauve, white and then b u f f . That experiment s t e r t a d and ended f o r no apparent reason. The impression one gets from .tha e a r l i e r iesues i e t h a t the c o l l e g e was more • a l i v e ' then than now. The I n f l u e n c e of the f a c t t h a t a l a r g e p r o p o r t i o n of the undergraduates were mature ex-servicemen i r r e f l e c t e d i n the columns. Humour i n F e l i x war more adult - which I F to be expected. T h l r was but a phase i n the paper's e v o l u t i o n - a m o d i f i c a t i o n t o the underl y i n g l i g h t h e a d e d n e s s of s p i r i t which has remained e s s e n t i a l l y the pane s i n c e 1949. T h i s S p i r i t of F e l i x i s always evident. Some E d i t o r s produced "stodgy" i s s u e s , pome were very f r i v o l o u s . But I.C. news and views have always boen f a i t h f u l l y recordod and the paper has always spoken i t n mind. The f P i r i t has b«.»n passed on by miecesalve E d i t o r i a l B o a r d i * They have worked as f\ teem an with mi•'iinthuniaBm that d e f i e s a n a l y s i s . E d i t o r s ci.i.v and" went - few could at and up to the r a c k e t f o r more then h a l f s dozen MeHes. fh' !}•>»* changed; Rome l e f t , and others

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f i r s t your of h i s l i f e the k i t t e n was typ«d and Rbneotn the B o o k s t a l l . The f i r e l c . l e a and was 13 s i d e s of pluf H t i t l e page. Tnl's other comprehensive rej •* * how, i n that year's B r l •I d i s q u a l i f i e d f o r l n d u l f ig speed.

ieoount of Ly, Bo wati jefiff.lva

The recond l s t u e marked the r+ ».•.»-• of the " P r o f i l e " a e r i e s with a p r o f i l e of the Bar. I t a l s o eonti Lned the f i r s t In a norlea "The D r i n k i n g Man's Guide to London". 1000 copies w e I d . F e l i x wont on i n subsequent i s s u e s ! • ':. J .;n»jtb. On r e a d i n g through the f i l e soples your h i s t o r i a n p i c k e d otit the f o l l o w i n g h i g h l i g h t s , fsitte No. 3l"Lal>. Report" (- poem reproduced i n t h i s i s s u e on p.5 ) No.4: .Editorial:"The Need f o r e L a r g e r H o s t e l " No.';: P r o f i l e of "Jane" of the well-known c o f f e e establishment i n E x h i b i t i o n Head. No.7s I.C. R e f e c t o r y Committee attacked.

Llowing l e t t e r Was prom1fed by the Phoenix. As t h l c busy gentleman than u s u a l l y occupied, We wroto i t

C. Union. 2nd. Dec iftOer 1.956 Congratulation s on r e a c h i n g your 100t.h. Issue and Many Happy Returns of your b i r t h day. Much f l e a k e r today than the k i t t e n I knew i n 1949, may you continue i n your prosp e r i t y . Bless your .fur and whiskers I Your a f f e c t i o n a t e uncle,

r The dance i n celebration of FELIX's seventh b i r t h d a y was held on December l s t . , when we were pleased to be able to welcome representatives of other London U n i v e r s i t y newspapers, including the E d i t o r of SENNET, Miss E l i z a b e t h Harrison. The guests r u i n e d t h e i r alimentary oanals with some f i r e - w a t e r euphemistically c a l l e d "punch" and when the a l c o h o l reached t h e i r f e e t , went o f f t o j o i n the dancers. A presentation t o Miss Harrison solved the mystery of the BLUP, when she was given a w a t e r - f i l l e d b a l l o o n w i t h i n s t r u c t i o n s t o drop i t out of the window. This she d i d - missing K i t c h by inches and sending our resident photographer crazy because he hadn't h i s carnera ready.

Just before the f i l m show, the E d i t o r and V i t c h r e t i r e d ' ( t o the bar, of course) t o judge the l i m e r i c k competition; two of the winning e n t r i e s Eire p r i n t e d below. As usual w i t h FELIX f i l m shows, the comments of the eudience were as funny as the f i l m s . We seemed t o have an e n t i r e Goon Show at the back. (Shut up, S c c l e s J ) Although the evening wore an, the dancers d i d not seem t o wear out, and a session of Rock 'n' R o l l was held t o s a t i s f y the more energetic. Just before 11.0pm. the band played the l a s t w a l t z , followed by h a l f of "God Save the >iueen". Fortunately, the evening was remarkably free from i n c i d e n t s . Only one gentleman(?) t r i e d t o persuade us he was drunk- we didn't b e l i e v e him. Most people seemed t o have enjoyed themselves we c e r t a i n l y did. L i m e r i c k Competition: Winning entry i n the ' p r i n t a b l e ' s e c t i o n : There was a young student of Rheims Whose attempts at love-making, i t seems, Were accompanied by moans Hot breaths and l o u d groans And maidens' h y s t e r i c a l screams. v

In a few days' time many of t h i s year's f r e s h e r s , now a l i t t l e s t a l e r , w i l l be r e t u r n i n g home a f t e r t h e i r f i r s t prolonged break from home l i f e . T h e i r f i r s t days a t c o l l e g e were d o u b t l e s s marked on the one hand by the u s u a l sermons on the need to g i v e one's utmost i n one's academic s t u d i e s , and on the other hand by the f r a n t i c attempts by the c l u b o f f i c i a l s to shepherd them i n t o t h e i r own p a r t i c u l a r f o l d . A f t e r ' t h i s onslaught they w i l l be l e f t i n no doubt t h a t a f u l l c o l l e g e l i f e demands t h a t you work hard and p l a y hard. "Work hard and p l a y hard." - i s indeed a good slogan f o r a s u c c e s s f u l c o l l e g e l i f e and l a t e r they may c o n s i d e r t h i s year, spent l e a r n i n g to l i v e a t t h i s h e c t i c pace, was not used to i t s best advantage. For students away fronri home there i s always a tendency f o r the c o l l ege to become the be a l l and end a l l of l i f e ; they work t h e r e , they p l a y there and t h e i r f r i e n d s belong t h e r e . As time goes on they w i l l f i n d t h a t one way or another the c o l l e g e w i l l demand more and more time of them, with course work and c a r n i v a l s , general studies and s o c i a l s t u d i e s i n the bar, not f o r g e t t i n g hops and more a t h l e t i c types of sport on a Saturday. Such i s c o l l e g e l i f e . In the years to come we w i l l look back on i t , and i t may seem u n r e a l to us - f o r i t i s u n r e a l . We are l e a r n i n g how to make the most of our l i v e s i n an environment o f f e r i n g o p p o r t u n i t i e s galore to broaden our minds and extend our range of a c t i v i t i e s , though t h i s i s overshadowed by a sense of urgency, competition and i n s e c u r i t y . The people i n our everyday l i v e s are students and there i s an unconscious tendency f o r us to regard them as t y p i c a l young men and women, and to regard our c o l l e g e l i f e to be a n a t u r a l one. This i s not the case and hence nobody should underestimate the value of those period s when we are back at home or working i n i n d u s t r y , f o r i t i s then that we are l i v i n g a more normal l i f e among everyday people. I t i s then that we r e a l i s e that l i f e i s not always l i k e i t i s at c o l l e g e and we can take the opportunity f o r r e l a x a t i o n i n readiness f o r the next term. But I do not f o r a moment suggest that i n the years to come we should content ourselves with the humdrum existence which many others l i v e - I do not think that many ex-students would be able t o . They should l i v e a f u l l and a c t i v e l i f e , but without that h e c t i c uncerta i n t y which one f i n d s at c o l l e g e . For myself, I r e a l l y enjoy c o l l e g e but thank God f o r the vacs 1

Fred Peacock

Runner-up: There was a young student of Rheims Who had the most Freudian dreams He became q u i t e f r u s t r a t e d ' T i l h i s Bgo was mated - And now he's found out what " I d " means.

The winning entry was, submitted by Mr. Hen Notman (Room 97, New H o s t e l ) , and the runner -up by (Miss?) M.A. S t r i p p of Canterbury H a l l . The winner i n the 'unprintable' s e c t i o n K e i t h Duckworth (C & G).

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Thou s h a l t not covet thy neighbour's wife, His ox thou s h a l t not slaughter ; But thank the l o r d i t does not say, Thou s h a l t not squeeze his daughter.

I bet adults i n a d u l t e r y have f a r more fun than i n f a n t s i n i n f a n c y .

X RED

TAP

IGNORED

HOHGARIAN STUDENTS ADMITTED Two Hungarian engineering students, face to face with laborious B r i t i s h administrative procedure f o r entry to a u n i v e r s i t y and t i r e d of k i c k i n g t h e i r heels f o r a week, came to I. C. to meet some students. As a r e s u l t of i n troductions to members of the academic s t a f f they were Invited to attend courses, on an u n o f f i c i a l basis, immediately, while the Hos- , t e l and Union provided them with the necessi t i e s of l i f e . This stung the bureaucrats of U.L. to action and almost Immediately the uno f f i c i a l Hungarians became o f f i c i a l Hungarians. They have shown a good knowledge of t h e i r subjects and of the English language, and have been seen enjoying the companionable atmosphere of the I.C. Bar. A very hearty welcome to them 1 Meanwhile 15 other Hungarian students hare Princes moved i n t o f l a t s on the Horth side. Gardens, s p e c i a l l y derequisitioned f o r the purpose and scrubbed out and furnished with considerable help from student volunteers. They w i l l stay there u n t i l established i n various colleges i n the country and w i l l be replaced by Hungarians allocated to courses at I.C. o t

IEISIU'S JUMP TO IT fleas in a bed (to oatoh): Remove the bedclothes gently. Take a piece of damp soap and dab on to the flea. This prevents i t escaping* -household hint from â&#x20AC;˘Olio* Cookery Book. FELIX DANCE Corse the Felix Danoe washeld this week after nextcos jure reeding this a fortnute after we oum out and i t was on Dso l s t . SPORT RESIDENCES Residents of the I.C. hostel, while oleaning out 12 Princes Gardens for Hungarian refugees,found that No. 12 i s admirably suitable for SPORT. There is a well on the stairs whioh. appears to have been constructed exclusively for discharging water on to heads below. FLEET STREET. Guilds Engineering Society visited the Daily Mail emporium on the 5th. A Felix reporter among them notes that this paper does not appear to be serious competition to FeHx. UNION RECTIFIED - RECTOR TOIFIED. The Rector has joined the Union - presumably to lead the rush for Union Christmas Cards. BRAZIER FOR WENDI. Last Felix Day a bucket belohing voluminous oleuda of smoke stood outside the cloakroom hut by the Lower Dining Hall. Thi3 was provided for the comfort of Wendy Pipe who sells Felix on this pitch. ENTERTAINMENTS INC. At the Union Meeting Gil Street and Phil.Taylor were elected to the Entertainments Committee by a huge majority. SUEZ. On the 6th of Daoamber a l i t . and Dsb. Soc. house lacked confidence in the foreign polioy of Her Majesty's Government by 137 votes to 118. Considering that the voting was by only 10Jo of the student body, i t seems that political opinion is very evenly divided in I.C. - a good thing.

DON'T BE EARTHBOUND COME TO THE R.C.S. CARNIVAL

T Ttlines

(Ball

MARTIAN MARDl-GRAS

On m . Nov. 29th. the f i r s t of the i n d i v i d ual College B a l l s started r o l l i n g at 9p.m. TNLs one, which went on t i l l 5 the next morning, was the Mines B a l l . The B a l l was enjoyed by|many, i n c l u d i n g quite a number from Oullda and R. 0.8. The cabaret was quite entertaining but to peopl e not from Mines h a l f the cracks went wide ef t h e i r mark. Just as the cabaret f i n i s h e d a group of drunks, who had taken advantage of th the bar extension and had i n f i l t r a t e d i n t o the back of the audience, set up a barrage ef s t a l e r o l l s . They ware quickly suppressed.

FRIDAY JAN.

T Below i s the s k e l e t o n of a paragraph from a book we were r e a d i n g the other day. You are asked t o i d e n t i f y the book and a l s o f i l l i n the m i s s i n g l e t t e r s . —m — a - -—Bis ———-e»-•—•- - - — n- a e-, n- t h a t o- — — e n- 0—-. I t „-—-r~—ea — the s- • — — - e og— n - a- u - r s ~om n- and — d- a — o v -v— - -e Peh."

«____„ _ a

the

The f o l l o w i n g may book:-

help you to i d e n t i f y the

(1) Transparent s l i d e r with a f i n e h a i r - l i n e . (2) Region of complete shadow. (3) A g e n e r i c term c o v e r i n g a v a r i e t y o f e l e c t r o n i c systems of n a v i g a t i o n . (4) One d i v i d e d by the q u a n t i t y . (5) Organic substances produced by l i v i n g c e l l s , which a c t a s c a t a l y s t s i n chemical changes. (6) S i l v e r y white magnetic metal resembling i r o n , m.pt. 1452 deg. Cent. (7) 10 to the 18th. i n B r i t a i n . (8) C l u e l e s s . (9) Tendency o f a body to preserve i t s s t a t e o f r e s t or uniform motion i n a s t r a i g h t line. (10) C l u e l e s s . (11) i 7 2 1 4 " ~ g e r o u s h a b i t forming drug. (12) P o s i t i v e l y a vacuum, o l d boy. (13) N a t u r a l red d y e s t u f f obtained from the d r i e d body o f the — c c — - a c — i n s e c t . (14) Former name f o r n i t r o g e n . (15) Metal used i n plumbing. (16) & (17) C H N 0 . (18) P l a n e t w i t h one s a t e l l i t e . I t s mean d i s tance from the Sun i s 2793 m i l l i o n miles. (19) Substance used f o r removing h a i r . (20) The f i r s t l e t t e r J J (21) The study o f the deformation and flow o f matter. (22) (23) D i f f e r e n c e i n d i r e c t i o n , or a s h i f t i n p o s i t i o n , o f a body, due to a change i n p o s i t i o n of the observer. (24) Blank. (25) Any d e v i c e which causes a beam of rays to converge or d i v e r g e on p a s s i n g through i t . c

d a n

The B d i t o r undertakes to buy a d r i n k f o r ttoe f i r s t t h r e e people who b r i n g or send him a coml e t e s o l u t i o n . I n the event of a t i e or of any oubt, r e g a r d w i l l be g i v e n to the extent t o which the above 25 clues have been s o l v e d .

Quea JLoroaa. 2. Moved with regular steps as soldiers. 7. Give me one chance with a Shakesperian v i l l a i n . 8. Sounds good but i s i n fact unhealthy. 9. Complete. 10. Allow. 11. Maltreated domestic animals become a nuisance. 13. At the summit i n a camera to picture you. 16. I slip up on cats. 17« * 3. down. Private hotel for cosmopolitan kin. 20. Aim for an altered prison. 23. Sounding mineral deposits holds in respect. 25. Short purgatory. 26. A reversed conflict leaves i t uncooked. 27. There without a cuppa. 28. Leaning i s inside London Transport. 29. Outer coverings for BLQPS. PJLuaa Dam. 1. Able to change. 2. If your castle. in the a i r were surrounded by this you'd need an umbrella. 3. see 17. across. 4. Tea-time. 5. Russian? Yes, thank you. 6. Altogether, but don't grab the woman. 11. Daddies' ohoir. 12. A small drink - soft i s reversed. 14. Despite excess this i s to nothing. 15. Didirectly connected with bricks. 18. Three-quarters of the side refresh. 19. You'll find this recently i n "The Lone Wolf". 21. Although i t sounds like i t i t ' s not the end of the game. 22. Shakesperian King's lecherous look. 23. Alterations of legalities are boring. 24. We sincerely hope i t hasn't been.

PROSES

X _f(Lis\eaAina J¥l<en us

Science

The continued use of imprecise t i t l e s applied to 'OBUvres des chefs' should not be tolerated by the technically enlightened gastronome. Something more revealing than the name of an European city or Channel port i s required when ordering a meal from the menu. There has long been a tendenoy to link culinary s k i l l with science, domestic or otherwise, whereas formerly i t rated with art or witchcraft, depending on i t s effects. (Ref. Guide to Gluttony for Gourmets, F r i t t e r and Schnitzel, vol. Z, sold i n U.S.A. only). Now that cookery i s a reoognised science i t should not be d i f f i c u l t to lay down satisfactory Board of Trade type specifications. What i3 the difference between a Vienna steak Milanaise and a Milan Steak Viennoise? None i n name, but a worl4 of difference when one i s g r i l l e d by a grimy Serb i n Soho and the other by a temperamental Chinaman in Bombay; one might resemble Corned Beef and dog biscuits for the Trans-Antarctic Expedition One dish consistent on this side of the Atlantic i s the Frankfurter Steak, that delectable pulverised meat(?) carbonised briokette. Trans the Atlantio, Frank signifies a Hot Dog, anything hot i s Jam, and in no time we are round to the rooks and r o l l s . Enough —

letfe have a o on crate polioy for food.

British Food Standard Specifications Soup(Potage). Density; pH; percentage solids; opacity by ooeanographio test; specific heat.

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Mr. P e t e r Rowe brought to our n o t i c e the f o l l o w i n g l e t t e r which appeared i n "THE L I S TENER" on Aug. 2nd.s"....In southern Sweden some time ago I v i s i t e d the only rubber cowshed i n the world. Here 150 cows l i v e d i n a b u i l d i n g where the f l o o r s and walls were l i n e d with rubber, c a r e f u l l y designed t o keep the animals comf o r t a b l e without the use o f straw, and a l l o w easy and thorough c l e a n s i n g . The cows were not allowed t o graze i n the f i e l d s as that would have trampled down too much fodder, but the grass was cut and brought t o the cowshed by l o r r y , and a small e l e c t r i c overhead r a i l w a y c a r r i e d round the shed, appropri a t e q u a n t i t i e s being dropped i n f r o n t of the animals. Behind the s t a l l s ran a continuous r u b b e r - l i n e d trough which r e c e i v e d the byproducts o f bovine metabolism, to be c o l l e c t e d and s t o r e d i n a vast underground tank beneath the shed and i n due course pumped back on to the f i e l d s . To prevent contamination from t h i s trough each eowte t a i l wss attached by means of a spring-loaded wire to an overhead hook so that when the animal l a y down on i t s rubber bed, i t s t a i l was h o i s t e d c l e a r of the ground. To make c e r t a i n that the products of bovine metabolism reached the trough, a metal rod was suspended h o r i z o n t a l l y i n each s t s l l and adjusted to the height of i t s occupant. I f the cow's shoulders were too f a r forward when about t o d e f e c a t e , the rod was touched, the animal r e c e i v e d an e l e c t r i c shock and moved backwards to the c o r r e c t ' d r o p p i n g p o i n t ' . In t h i s way, and with a very s m a l l l a b o u r f o r c e , the d a i r y farmer, an e n t e r p r i s i n g Swedish i n d u s t r i a l i s t , had succeeded i n producing m i l k t h a t was almost germ f r e e , although I b e l i e v e i t was then sent from the farm to the l o c a l c o - o p e r a t i v e d a i r y where I t was mixed with i n f e c t e d milk from 'normal' farms and pasteurised. Yours e t c . , Frederick E. Hopper "

Fish(Poisson). Guide to anatomy, warning of dangerous bones; proportion of batter in fried fillets. Meat(Entree). Toughness by standard aharp knife; anatomical notes on removal of inedible parts. Spaghetti(Extruded). Die diameter (swg), tensile strength and ductility, ( important for winding up on a fork ). Note of subsequent treatment and i t s effect on the material strengths-. Spam Fritter. Slice thickness, A, diameter, bursting pressure, (Mullen Test ) SECTION ftR

I M M f e . Soob &pttitttaitian4 Continued. Although the Ministries of Food and Health have r i g i d standards, there are certain new testa not usually applied. For example, dense medium separation to segregate good peas from those with animal associations; the ease of impaling peas on forks i s dependent on their coefficient of restitution, surface hardness and surfaoa oharge. No equation to relate these three factors has yet been released to the learned journals. Few realise the hazards of eating radishes. Apart from the prescence of occluded gas, the skin can have considerable radioactivity. The aphrodisiac content of lettuce can have lusting effects on those who habitually eat salad. The Monroe test can be applied to addicts to determine the extent of their downfall. Remember when you l i e groaning after your excess of Yuletide gluttony - you should have calculated the vitamin content f i r s t .

P f l t l T Mo. X-R.BY EXAMINES Fop, C H A L K S .

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Newspapers often remind UK of the s t r a i n imposed by rush-hour t r a v e l on London Transport but personally I find tube journeys stimulating to the mind. Coming to S.Ken. from Putney the other day, my t r a i n , bound for Mansion House, Pulled i n at Earl's Court Station. Here I was quick to observe an Upminster t r a i n on the opposite side of the platform. Now, being a cleve r sort of a bloke, I waited i n my Mansion House t r a i n u n t i l I saw the signal l i g h t for the other t r a i n turn to green. I then dashed across the platform, having deduced from observations on previous occasions that the Upminster t r a i n would then go off f i r s t .

However, even the sharpest of us - and as I say, I'm quite a clever chap myself, are l i a b l e to s l i p up and on this occasion some contrary l i t t l e man at the back of the t r a i n shut the doors sharpish l i k e , so that, as I was proceeding with considerable forward momentum, I was obliged to leave my teethmarks on the door paintwork. Keeling my loose i n c i s ors I turned round r u e f u l l y and was suddenly conscious of a second green l i g h t l n the corner of my eye and the doors of the Mansion House t r a i n were s l i d i n g to.

C A B A R E T , V

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Uomentarily frustrated, I swore. I decided to cut my losses and take the P i c c a d i l l y L i n e , to S. iCen. Now, escalators are dashed d e l i g h t f u l diverse d e v i c e s f o r not only do they save poor old ladies from walking upstairs but by v i r t u e of t h e i r adverts, they provide amusement (and a c e r t a i n amount of stimulation) for young chaps l i k e me. (Incidentally i t i s grati f y i n g to note that dog owners are required t o carry t h e i r pets so that they can look at the pictures and so learn about the facts of human l i f e . ) f

The advert, by U-SS BK-S. attracted my atte n t i o n . These gentlemen t r y to give you the idea that t h e i r hired evening suits w i l l somehow give you confidence i f you are obliged to give a speech at some formal gathering. But a clever chap l i k e me can see through them. I t i s not r e a l l y t h e i r evening dress which gives the chap i n the advert, confidence, he's got his twin brother s i t t i n g on one side of him and his elder brother on the other. The waiter looks as though he could be his second cousin too.

I packed myself into the t r a i n which shortly arrived, and had a look round to see i f there was anything worth looking at apart from my r e f l e c t i o n . I t ' s a queer thing i n t r a i n s , everybody has got to look some-where but i s determined not to look at anyone else. I only wish

people l i k e Marks and Censors and others would follow the lead of Messrs. Shackles and Lockup foj- surely they have a dut y to .amuse us i n t h e otherwise wasted time spent t r a v e l l i n g . 7

In conclusion I would l i k e to say, Just watch when next you go that way, And sure enough you're bound to find The e c c e n t r i c i t i e s of mankind, And i f perchance you find elsewhere, Some o t h e r q u i r k s and fancies thÂŤire Just l e t us know, i n prose or v e r s e For what we print could not be worse. Fritz.

F E L I X

THRO

13 THAT

R •e were unable to include a report off the f i r c t night of 'Loftur' i n this edition, beoause of the time factor. We intend to review the play, together with the national press oritioismes, next term. However, to help those who are deciding whether or not to go tonight or tomorrow night, we sent a reporter along to the dress rehearsal cm Sunday. This i s the despatch he sent us:lr. the midst of builders' ehaos, I.C.B.3. wore fr-er-tically trying'to overcome the many difficulties that s t i l l remain before the first might of the i n augural production on the new stage. Despite warnings that the f u l l complement of equipment would probably not be ready, an ambitious three set staging was being undertaken - after months of preparation with the theatre no more than a dream am paper, the stage staff had a formidable task to mate the theoretical with the practical. A "star-studded" cast has been assembled to matoh the ingenuity of the set-designers - some of the actors are past members of the Society, now taking part as members of the Camus Club, given an opporterii to appear in this f i r s t production beoause of tU amount of work done in past years i a plans! ; stage and i t s fittings and supervising i t s ses ier., The play has been ohosen beoause of the oppari-unities i t gives for demonstrating the new ©aneert Hall anu the chance to present i t to a London audienoe for the f i r s t time was a unique and interesting one. A oollege production of an Icelandic play must be a notable event. Both the costumes and the set were designed by timbers of the College, furthermore, the costumes were aacfc- up by a Camus Club' member. The Society has been -lartioularly lucky In obtaining the services of Mr. ;iar old XLigj who produced the only other produeticai •Jf 'Loftur' in Great Britain, and working with aim has obviously been invaluable to members of both societies. In oonoluslon, i t osm.truthfully be said that i t would be well worth h i * time for Mr.. Hubert Edwin Smith to attend this play. Even i f i t does mot entertain him i t will broaden his outlook. Host people w i l l , ire think, enjoy this neither charming nor prowooajfciva but powerful and enianaticr amnmplft of dramatic art.

OLD

TOOTH BR'

urn vMiiw wscovar TOOTH uT&IMW TO OSSCR « No more laborious brushing thanks to IlteiiiiX SCIEROTIC TOOTHPASTE. Did you know that blushing teeth w t act i Uy harmful ? Amerioan research has proved that in 80C years, brushing twice daily, yoc wc ;lc e n t i r e l y brush away a l l your teeth,, and that ir, the ivannal human life-span you brush away 3«2 teeth. Can yon afford to lose 3.2 teeth ?

jij,,,,, j.ciie yuaataotia, cso«jtti« « xa«t >xs an idle answer. Engineering Sedeaoe and Jired S • • . have at "last oosfcdned and from their research he. ged the new wonder ohemical GSUL Remember the name - you'll never forget the flssour. GRIT is found only in the new IMPERIAL SCLENTD"TO TOOTHPASTE. IMPERIAL has the new hydromatio double flushing action. I A I I IVI \l V "

Effftrvesoent NaHCO,, another fabuloua chemical exclusive to our toothpaste, carries particles of grit into a l l small cavities, removing dirt, fillings, «r«i other i m r i t i e s , whilst at ih« «JV. • time i t stains the if i l f . * to •uantrw.t. th* r/lcr ious red of your gums. In a series of independent testi n 3,000 girls between 19 and 22, Profoi-j or . Smith, of Cambridge Cciuprehsnisive Sooandary University, stated that \v. hf,d obtained some very interesting data, :

IMPERIAL SCIENTIFIC TO0THPASTB cones in three sizes, large, 0.S.,and I.C.W.A., AND SPECIAL ORDERS CAN BE RECEIVED FOR BARREL". vu i t to your friends and make sure that this is a Cji.•., it. mas they will never forget! (Advertiser's Announoeirin

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14 COMIN

EVENTS

F r l . Doc.14th. Phot. Soc. " A i r to A i r Photography" by C . i . Brown. 5.15 Bot.Lect.Th. (Arranged i n conjunction with I.C.Gliding Club.) Oram.Soc. & LOFTUR,7.30 p.m. i n Concert H a l l Comus Players 1/6, 2/6, 4/-. Sat. Dec.15th. LOFTUR - Last Might - 7.30 pjn . Won. Dec.nth. I.C. C.U. "The Meaning of Christmas" by Rev. Paul Tucker. 1.15 p.m. Met. L e c t . Th. R.S.M. Tues. Dec. 18th. I.C. Carol Service p.m. Holy T r i n i t y Church, 1.00 I.C. Choir. Service conducted by Rev. Cleverley Ford. Wed. Bee.19th. R.C.S. Mat. Grand Christmas Party. 7.0 H i s t . Soc. 10.30 p.m. Tickets 2/6d. Thurs. Dec. 20 th. Princess Louise Christmas Dance. 8.30 p.m. Hospital Fancy Dress Optional. Admission free. 11J111J J J JIJ J

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I.C.QS. AT

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11 It 11111111

L.UD.S. FESTIVAL

After reading more than 50 plays during the Summer Vacation, and finally deciding to produoe "SganareUta' by Moliere, Barbara Russell oan consider herself unluoky. For, by sheer chance, Battersea Polytechnic had also chosen to produoe this particular play. This was significant beoause the two productions oame first and seoond in the final placing of the plays whioh had been performed during tha three days of the festival. Unfortunately Imperial gained the seoond plaoe, and to a great extent this was due to the fact that the Battersea production was Just by the merest fraction nearer to the adjudicators* idea of how the play should be done. There can be no doubt that i f the sooieties had performed different plays the problem of picking the better of the two productions would have been even more difficult; as i t was, i t was s t i l l extremely close.

Thursday, 6th December saw the hall of Queen Alexandra's House comfortably filled, though not packed, for the annual Christmas Concert of the Musical Society. The programme was nicely contrasting between works ancient and modern, although i t might have led the listener to believe that the voioe of musio was silent between the years 1750 and 1950! The first part of the concert began with Puree11's 'Chaoony in G Minor', rendered with due solemnity by the Jaoques Orchestra conducted by Imogen Hoist. Then f 11owed the work commissioned for last Commemoration Day, 'The Shepheard's Wonder', by Christopher Shaw. The unfamiliar style of this pieoe makes i t difficult listening, though a considerably deeper impression was left on the seoond hearing. In Benjamin Britten's 'Antiphon' (first London performance), and in the setting by Puroell of Psalm 3 in Latin, the Choir was very ably baoked-up by professional soloists. The first half of the concert ended with three carols in which the audience was invited to Join. Many hearts must have warmed as Miss Hoist, beaming like a jolly schoolmistress, turned to the members of the audience each time to sweep them with her dynamic baton into 'tidings of oomfort and joy' ] The seoond part of the oonoert was devoted to works by Bach : three movements from the Suite No. 3 in D, followed by Cantata No. 140, "Sleepers Wakel", in whioh the solo parts were again taken by the professional singers. The Concert was an undoubted •success and, thanks to the Jacques Orchestra with Mr. nristopher Shaw at the piano, to the professional soloists and, in particular to the co-ordinating genius of Miss Hoist, one was left with none of the feeling of having been to an amateur performance. At the end, a signed scroll was presented to Miss Hoist by Mr. Geoffrey Shaw, the President of the Musical Society, as a token of esteem for her great services to I.C. Choir. The money whioh had been oolleoted to make a presentation was instead to be used, at Miss Hoist's wish, to buy dictionaries for Hungarian students who are ooming to I.C. Miss Hoist said how whe would miss the Tuesday evening rehearsals, which were positive agony at times, and finished to thunderous and well-deservec applause.

T. wright played Sgenarellei and using a squeaky voioe and a variety of waspish attitudes created a round f u l l character, unfortunately there was a lack of variety and pace in his delivery and mere shouting took the place of pointing and subtlety. However i t was a strong performance which the audience enjoyed. It was a good production and I.C. deserved their place. Congratulations to Barbara Bussell. It has been a long time since I.C. appeared in the first three at this festival.

PERSONAL ADVERTISEMENT Bmigrator must regretfully dispose of 1949 two stroke Ambassador, 197 oo., owned for 5y years. Crash helmet (choice of two) thrown in. Worth £45 and. eminently suitable far learner, but in present crisis £25 i s optimistically hoped far, Fuel runs to 250 miles per month. A l l offers considered: apply A.E. Bray, Room 117 Chem. Dapt, or Raok.

A dumb blonde we know wants to know i f a oentimetre i s an inatrcotait for measuring B.O.

NOT YEAR RESOLUTION I f I'm not in bed by 10 o'clock I'm going ecu.).

FELIX

LC.W.

S.C.

Testerday I CISC had tha hockey Batch o f the season against QJKL Seven ef as turned up f o r the match, four people having l o s t themselves on the way. Undaunted, we borrowed two members of the other team, and enjoyed an enjoyable f i r s t h a l f In the d r i z z l i n g r a i n . Then through the mist loomed three figures who played f o r us In the second h a l f . Injuries ? A few b r u i s e s , a damaged finger n a i l and a broken hockey s t i c k . This followes a hockey record of 2 won, 2 l o s t . In squash we have won only one match t h i s term due to lack of experienced players. The N e t b a l l team has l o s t only one league match, and beat the men of the Zoology Dept. by 14-5. Table Tennis has j u s t l o s t two matches and had deolded wins i n i t s other two matches. Swimming r e s u l t s have gradually Improved u n t i l l i n the l a s t match against Goldsmiths and Westfield, we r e g i s t e r e d very good wins over both. Rather mixed reports unfortunately, and we weuld welcome any freshers who w i l l erne end strengthen our ranks.

h The Squash Club has met with mixed fortunes t h i s term. P o t e n t i a l l y the l s t . team i s the strongest since the days of Kenyon and h i s men. However through one reason and another t h i s strength has not been born out i n p r a c t i c e . We have l o s t twice to our greatest non H o s p i t a l r i v a l s , Kings College. The second of these defeats took place on Dec 9th. whem we l o s t by 2 t i e s to 1 i n the l s t . round of the University. 3 a side Cup. Given a l i t t l e more good fortune and no les s s k i l l the score could have been 3-0 i n our favour. On Dec. 8th. a weakened l s t . team encountered a strong team of Welshmen from C a r d i f f U n i v e r s i t y and we were beaten 4-1. The draw f o r the Whitly Cup Competition i a s h o r t l y to be made and i t i s hoped that as many Of the t i e s i n the l s t . round as possible w i l l be played by the end of the tew*.

R We are s t i l l f i n d i n g i t Impossible to f i e l d a regular side due to the unusually high number of i n j u r i e s we have encountered this season. Had we been able to keep a regular team our r e s u l t s would have been undoubtably more s a t i s factory. The f i r s t eleven record to date i s , played won drawn l o s t 15 5 5 5 The l a s t few games have been f r i e n d l i e s against club sides. Each of these games have been most enjoyable and i t i s f e l t that i f only the league games were played i n the same atmosphere a better and more united team s p i r i t would develope. The 3rd. XI has again moved to the top of the t h i r d d i v i s i o n of the U n i v e r s i t y League and should gain two more points i n the l a s t game t h i s term to be assured of promotion to Div- 2 next season. It i s hoped that the enthusiasm f o r the lower teams w i l l remain u n t i l l the end of next term as apart from the league games a good program of f r i e n d l y f i x t u r e s has been arranged.

HOCKEY On Sat l s t . Dec. the l s t . XI entertained an unbeaten NPL. side at Harlington. IC. played a.much improved game but f i n a l l y went down 2-1 a f t e r f i g h t i n g back strongly i n the second h a l f . On Wed. 5th. Dec. IC. played Kings i n the second round of the U n i v e r s i t y Cup and thoroughly deserved t h e i r 3-1 win. Kings s t a r t e d well but weakened when Bbatnagan scored two quick goals f o r IC. Owen increased t h i s lead soon a f t e r h a l f time and Kings got a consolation goal f i v e minutes from the end. IC. meet Charirg Cross and Royal Dental Hospi t a l s at Harlington on Feb. 6th. f o r the semi- final.

G During the l a s t two weeks the club has been in active competition. On Dec. 1st. the 4th. and 5th. eights went to Chiswlck to compete i n the U n i v e r s i t y of London Winter Eights Regata. The r e s u l t s of the days rowing ware that the 5th. VIII won the Junior D i v i s i o n but the 4th. VIII were unfortunately d i s q u a l i f i e d In t h e i r second heat. The cox had c e r t a i n l y moved too far over into the Guys Hospital crew's water but a d i s q u a l i f i c a t i o n seems to be a harsh d e c i s i o n i n a race between two r e a l a t i v l y inexperienced crews. Congratulations must be extended to the 5th. VIII who won t h e i r f i n a l in a f a s t e r time than the f i n a l of the Senior Division. On Sat. 8th. Dec. the club were hosts to L i n c o l n C o l l e g e , Oxford l s t . crew. The IC l s t . VIII raced over a Murphy course and f i n i s h e d v i c t o r s by 10 sees. (2£-3 lengths) On Sunday 9th. both l s t . and 2nd. VIIIs rowed over a Head course with the i s t . and 2nd. crews from Vesta Rowing Club. Next weekend, the l a s t of the term, the fresher eights and lower t r i a l eights w i l l have a race over a two mile course. In the afternoon the 2nd. 3rd. and 5th. eights compete in the Thames Rowing Club 'Plum Pudding' eights Regatta.

MOUNTAINEERING

CLUB

On Frida y Nov. 30th. the Mountaineering Club held i t s l a s t meet of the term. Twentyfive membei joined i n with ULMC who sent two coaches to the Ogwen V a l l e y . Due to the weather any climbing of a r e a l l y high standard was out of the question but many pleasant rock climbs were completed. 4 o'clock Saturday afternoon saw most of the IC party making t h e i r way towards the tents or the hut. Others, however were les s fortunate, having run out of daylight whilst s t i l l climbing on the East face of Tryfan. Rescue parties were organised to help,the unfortunate ones and the Very Lights s i g n a l l i n g from one party to another reminded one of Nov. 5th. Sunday morning waa gloomy with that p e r s i s t a n t d r i z z l e that i s so common i n Wales. Most people however d i d some climbing and the three ICWArlan •embers of the club apparently enjoyed t h e i r climbing on the Idwal Slabs i n spite of the large excess of water on the rocks. Sunday night provided much the same story as Saturday night. Quite a few people found themselves h a l f way up a climb when the aun (?) disappeared. As there was no moon they had great d i f f i c u l t y i n f i n d i n g t h e i r way down to the v a l l e y which they d i d about breakfast time on Monday morning.

^ *ioo»^*^»ioo*4**^* ioo-*> • &• too-** • Q

XOO^-Q

SPORTS RUGBY

FOOTBALL

CLUB

I.C. WINS U.L. CROSS COUNTRY CHAMPIONSHIPS A f t e r a two year r e i g n by U.C. the U n i v e r s i t y Championship Cup returned to IC. f o r the seventh time since the war. The I n d i v i d u a l winner was again John Evans (IC) i n a-record time of 26m 24s f o r the muddy h i l l y 5£ mile course at Parliament Hill. He was followed home, over a minute l a t t e r b y K . G l l l l g a n (UC) and M.Batty (LSE). Imperial can be proud of the fact that four of the 17 teams f i n i s h i n g the course came from t h i s c o l l e g e . At one stage of the race IC hopes f e l l when It became apparent that D.Brigga, a regular UL l s t . team man, was s u f f e r i n g from a recurrent foot Injury. However the rest of the team, J . C o l l i n s 6th., K.Wall 10th., M.Rogers 13th. D.Webster 14th., assured us of v i c t o r y . The 2nd. team, C.Wood, D.Thomas, O.Fraser, P.Rayment, C.Gravina, d i d w e l l to come s i x t h Just behind QMC lst.team. lst. 2nd. 3rd.

The l s t . XV having emerged from i t s e a r l y oubles i s now s e t t l i n g down w e l l and the past w matches have at times produced some very od rugby. The 2nd. XV continues to maintain high standard and the reserve strength of the ub i s shown by the consistent success of the »er sides. IC revenged to some extent t h e i r e a r l i e r * eat i n the U n i v e r s i t y Cup when they beat UC two goals and a penalty goal to a t r y . The pack showing more s p i r i t had the measure of opposition and the backs made much of t h e i r ices. Against the Old M i l l h i l l i a n s second i an the f o l l o w i n g Sat. the team played well ,ether. The f i n a l score being 24 pts. to n i l •ur favour. Wye College who are always welcome v i s i t o r s i ffored a f a i r l y heavy defeat when they were aten by a goal s i x t r i e s and a dropped goal a penalty goal. King a fresher to the C o l l e g to be congratulated on s c o r i n g . f i v e t r i e s . A l a s t minute change i n f i x t u r e allowed the t. XV to t r a v e l to Maidenhead to play Thames l l e y . This proved a very f i n e f i x t u r e both IC were pressing f o r 80% and o f f the f i e l d . the game but a very s o l i d defence coupled th poor IC f i n i s h i n g prevented a t r y being ored. Furthermore the home side seized both p o r t u n i t i e s that were presented to them and reply to t h e i r two goals Stone kicked a nalty goal. This defeat at the hands of quite strong team should brush away the complacency at semms to have developed a f t e r a number of jy wins. Mov. 28th. Dec. l s t . Dec. 5th. Dec. 8th.

IC. 13 UC. 3 IC. 24 Old M i l l h i l l l a n s A IC. 26 Wye College 3 Thames V a l l e y 10 IC. 3

he Sports M i t e r wishes a Merry Christmas t o hoes d u b O f f i c i a l s who handed t h e i r reports n i n time.

I.C. l s t . U.C. l s t . Kings l s t .

Other IC teams,

44 pts. 67 pts. 91 pts.

I I . 6th., I I I . 13th., IV. 16th.

The I n t e r c o l l e g i a t e Championship r e s u l t s based on the above were, l s t . C&O 2nd. RCS 3rd. RSM

19 pts. 39 pts. 74 pts.

SAILING CLUB IC are holding t h e i r own i n the Intercollegiate Winter Points Series. A cup i s awarded f o r the best aggregate points f o r 6 out o. 8 races hel d over the winter. SEAGOON (UC) at Present has a c l e a r lead but FUMBLE (IC) and FELIX (IC) are not so f a r behind.

In each race 25^ pts are scored by the winning boat, 24 f o r 2nd, 23 f o r 3rd etc. Por team matches the scoring system also gives a s i m i l a r i pt. boi.us f o r the f i r s t boat* For the usual 3 boat a side match the l s t . boat gets 9\ pts., l a s t 4 pts.,A boat r e t i r i n g receives 3 pts., and a boat d i s q u a l i f i e d receives no points at a l l . Although the boats are a l l the same design, two heats are always s a i l e d with the teams exchanging boats. In t h i s way neither side has the advantage of a •lucky boat. This points system gives very i n t e r e s t i n g racing as i t i s possible to secure a winning combination without a c t u a l l y getting f i r s t place. 1

Results. On Sun. 9th. FUMBLE secured place i n the UL points race. Points to date (dropping one race) SEAGOON (UC) 73$ pts. ALLOUETTE (Kings) 73$ pts. FUMBLE (IC) 69 pts.

2nd.