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The Newspaper of Imperial College Union

Founded in 1949

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front

page

article entitled 'Esoteric Ineptitude' (incidentally, just supposed

what

mean?).

to

is

mis-

be

forgiven.

indeed! —

However,

—

could most

the

T H E

W E L L

week

was

the

last

knows,

l i n e , w h i c h says

or

indeed

Band at

secret

hosting

National

IC

over

quite

well

way

competing contest

the event

with

bands

into

T h e

the

to

also

feel

that

the

of

to e i t h e r

change

the

right

only

the

selection

near

most

active spoke

that

courage U G M .

President her

and

of

the

I C W A

room

on

was

the

Newton

Edinburgh.

trophy was taken on

behalf

and

over

over

third to

Snooker

saying

it's

at

like

South

to

have

seem

are

had in

the

pay

new

is

both

members

was

Miss

quoted

tube

a

as

meeting

station.

College (2nd

Chemistry

handled

pot

which

p l a y s a l a r g e p a r t i n t h e life o f t h e Royal

College

believe,

a

Science.

You

traditionalist,

are,

to

I

Embassy

judge

f r o m the m a n n e r in w h i c h y o u talk

H E A T E D

about

place

FELIX.

Why,

then,

dismiss

so l i g h t l y t h e t r a d i t i o n s o f y o u r o w n constituent college? I note that made

no

comment

after

you

Ruth's

a p p e a l for the r e t u r n of the G u i l d s V P ' s jacket. D o e s this not c o n s t i t u t e another

example

Ineptitude'?

I

of

would

support

Ruth's

regalia

is

'Esoteric

also

appeal.

inviolate

like

All

and

Sunday

Embassy the

BBC

relayed

T V

scuffles with to

the

arrest

two

the

Queen's

pictures

of

which

of what

Iraqi

Gate

Building.

Huxley

nationwide

be

took

outside

in

opposite

appeared

students.

The

anyone

s t u p i d e n o u g h to w a l k off w i t h coats on

the

Gulf

affair

War

The

rival

two

from

p o l i c e ' s w a n t e d list v e r y q u i c k l y .

between

Iranians. of

echoed

the

the

the

Iraqis

and

consisted

demonstrations.

Iraqi

camp

the

One

showing

College collect

Furthermore,

I had thought

you

w e r e c o n c e r n e d w i t h p r i n t i n g facts i n n e w s i t e m s , a n d yet t h e f i n a l t w o sentences and

"it

being

"it

is

understood"

is s u s p e c t e d " .

writing

surely

T h i s sort

belongs

i n the

of

B

B

W o l f f e c o l u m n a n d not o n the front

Hussein,

be

championing the

Exec

explain,

pages o f F E L I X ,

the

through

why

freshers

old

T V

Snooker meeting

R o o m place

implied around

by

the

lirst

which the

has

Apart

for

to

Snooker

As

room

official as

f a r as

have

a

of

the

opposing group were obvious

from

Kohmeini

Iran

the

This

budgeted

to

the

available

table

lor

the

is

Club

(the

in

Waitrose

The

I

ask

the

on

business, wouldn't trollies.

the

Exec this

then,

consultation

clubs

concerned

body

as

a

of or

have

without

either the

Wednesday

the

student

to

b e h a l f o f its

Club

members.

access

mitted

nicking

appealed

for

any

turned

very

cast

and

their

eyes

supermarkets.

(Incidentally,

you

trolley

in

Stores'

scratched

—

Waitrose

seen

the

with

'Central

the

handle?

on

person the

he

was

was

com-

with

no

College.

Hot Bread Kitchen C L O I S T E R E D

the

new

Stan's

are

music

piped

from

two

alcoves

T h e toilets

to

are

speakers alcove

be

at

colonnades

Bar

worth)

suggests

t o w a r d s less g e n e r o u s have

a

that

in

good

f r i e n d of I C i n t h a t it f e e d s us

students

a

Stan's T H E

a

being

Carlile,

crime

with

we

of is

looked

of

their

security.

Waitrose

and

D r

said

the

by

of

£900.

o f the B i o c h e m i s t r y

has

that

eye

to

suspected

senior m e m b e r

connection

the pieces

up

point.

department

of

other

in

light room.

our

that

be

were

window

the

some

and

by

students

F E L I X

wish

trollies to

College As

IC

be

left

with

Radio.

nearest

present

installed.

is t o

(£17,000

provided

the

having third

T h e

completely

IC

Radio-free.

Ed)

Blues Band Blues

had

took

unusual

Poster Fines U N I O N

that

any

promotional

more

than

event

two

will

be

as

yet

in

the

Exec,

are

the

Islamic

sympathy

Association

with

the

of

Ayatollah

controlling

Ba'athists

and

I C W A as

meeting

President

were

did

not

no

the

widespread

quite

plain;

'chosen

the

O'Sullivan)

interest not

in to

This

state

present

reasons

President

had

I C W A

attend

be

year because

the

donated

to

chairmen

publicity the

hope

events

that

an

shown

and

the

had

freshers'

people

750

capacity was

marred by

authorities.

required

a

quality a n d there

will

(Prof

unwilling

to

group

use

to

and

students

University

at

represented the

Championships Beth

Marcus

formed

below

missed

B U S F at

the

the

hammer

o f the then H o n

Sec,

having

October

10,

but

was

finished

1980

top

Mike

medal

three

second

lighting Not bands found

year.

the

a

Civ

however,

'rowdy'

pop

tried

to

sources

College

and

to h i r e o n e

for £ 1 1 5 .

at

They

to h a v e a p i a n o t u n e r i n

of

this,

bill

E N T S

costs; by

up

had that

when

although

to this

Dramsoc,

the the

to

been the

of £50. had

hire pushed

surprisingly

loss o f a b o u t

shame

one

powers

it a t a f u r t h e r c o s t

organised

a

last

the

of equipment

Weiner

disappointed

of

E N T S

notice

lighting

in

the

a

it.

managed

top

pay was

just

bronze

O n

cost

per-

in the j a v e l i n , w h i l e

had

Athletics

unfortunately

in

then

Nottingham.

h e r b e s t a n d so

finishing

short

two

London

band

the

were

allow

it the

was a l r e a d y

Brown

around

very

(a

reasonable

borrow a piano from other

to t u n e

vacation,

The

of

Hall;

the

department)

BUSF Victory IC

piano

in

with up

the attitude of

be

up

success, turning

in was

Unfortunately

Eng

ended.

concert

Monday

great

crowd).

College

in

last

FELIX,

a

about

eventually

arose

affairs

apparently

that

example

the s u m m e r

on

I C U

staying are

B A N D

Hall

have

over

set.

won of

be

These by

meet

support

the E x e c u t i v e . T h e

(Sandra

undisclosed

the

afternoon's

to unseat

had

for

after

l i a b l e to fines.

club

after

O V E R

move

days

up

Palace

quorum.

The

that

their concern

CCU's

long

m e e t i n g f a i l e d to m a t e r i a l i s e

the

clear

B L U E S Great

available

They

T u e s d a y

it

society posters

likely to

Several

hangs over ICWA

the

W U S .

expressed

Shadow of Death

T H E

made

or

leaves

fines,

that

has

club

demonstrating

in

introduction.

Snooker

She

told

in

called

the

is u s e d

two

morning.

at

whole.

President, For and on

why

decision

keep

remaining

store.

appreciates

does

she

the

took

Old room

expensive

were

Police

certain

trolleys.

at

has

she

Iraqi Students were

among

taken

to

trolleys

while

T H E demonstration

coup

the

managed

dozen

Manageress

demonstrating

long

College).

they

i n d o i n g so

T H R E A T E N E D

the

forty

lenses

a

The

53,

worth

at

Wednesday

bacteriology

equipment

They

the

T h i s o n e was a little m o r e

offered

largest

but

some

T H E

Snooker

scuffles

keeping

the

provisionally

facilities

in

further

place

the

is

for a n d will i m p r o v e

by

A

inconvenience and

pro-

Iraqis.

fascists.

Lounge

predictable

apart

arrest

Union

served

and

i n to k e e p t h e p e a c e .

calling

years

I C W A

excellent

are

a

last

b r o k e out the a m p l e police presence

adequately.

this

already the

we

posters

slogans.

Lounge

Office

a w a i t e d t h i r d t a b l e for the Club.

was etc.

Union

many

both

the

posters,

quite

Club,

to

I C W A

floor

from

caused

the

to the

purpose

only

of

I C W A

B u i l d i n g next

next

is

the

College.

concerned on

Lounge

Arab The

h a v e b e e n g i v e n the i m p r e s s i o n that the

Persian

the

Gulf.

the

in

camps

the

of

security

about

with

Burroughs

that

to

moved

Steve

M r

and

him cause

succeeded

Can

Friday

supports our R a g , F E L I X

When

Dear

portrait

of

Waitrosc

was c o m m o n l y displayed, asserting

page.

Paul Johnson

whose

last

of

thief

piece

T h i s d o u b l e s the existing n u m b e r of

solidarity w i t h the Iraqi President, Saddam

IC

help

that current

protesters

M A N A G E R E S S

visited

the

peaked

to

C C U

or pots w i l l find themselves

demonstrations

on

Iraqi

T H E

etc.

e v e n i n g at t h e

number

year

around

The

Waitrose Trolleys Purge

Iraqis besiege

to

Bar,

b r e a k - i n at I m p e r i a l

microscopes

traditionally

arriving

building.

concerned,

if

three-

they meal

Mars

occurred

October)

and

the

—

Microscopes stolen

Boddice.

of

odd

A F U R T H E R

it w o r r y i n g t h a t y o u s h o u l d t r e a t i n

temporary,

as

of their

before

the

on

people

of

second

only

queue

for

most

most

seen

cashier

mind

consumed

o f t h e b a n d b y its c o n d u c t o r N i g e l

t h e loss,

to

tremendous

as it w a s

one

didn't

do

therefore a n e x - R C S student, I l i n d

such a flippant m a n n e r

only

ought

The

floor

having

Ken

fit

saw

Tuesday

H o w e v e r ,

C l u b members.

Edmunds

to

on

duty.

lack

I C W A

Anne

queues

movement

Lounge.

the

B U T T E R Y

he

resign.

the

the

attendance records!

T H E

They

policy or

thing

concerned

consultation

inconvenient

Grange The

was

twenty

blast

Since and

to the

oblivion.

final

the

issue

in the D i v i s i o n 2

attempting

others

had

the

most

not

I n a d d i t i o n to this m e m b e r s

mid-morning, under

have

make

that we

strongly

Buttery smashes

Sandra

to

was

take

Saturday.

By

I C W A

Members

of

Cham-

the

them

the

part

Bilston C o l l i e r y B a n d from

graduate

of

of

"Who

cares?".

you are a chemistry

Brass

last

kept

the

pionship

d i s t u r b i n g p a r t of the article, I find, is t h e

felt

should

that

Your

q u o t a t i o n a n d / o r writer's license t a p p i n g m y nose,

to

2

Steve

that

animosity

H e foisted

upon

this y e a r .

Goulder

Biochem

Dear

sure

home in Sherfield

sincerely

ICWA.

O'Sullivan

been.

Tours

Stotesbury's

towards

£150. when paid,

concert £50.

the

two

it

was

had

made

T h i s seems

the concert

was

a

such

success.

' Page 3

meeting and any matters arising are dealt with. T h e n the Officers present their reports, and everyone asks questions about what we have done. T h e n the juicy bit, motions, where the U n i o n formulates policy to guide the E x e c in making their decisions. The U n i o n policy document is kept in the U n i o n Office a n d contains policy past back beyond 1968.

A n y o n e can propose any motion at a U G M . N o r m a l l y m o t i o n s consist of noting various facts; believing several things, and instructing people to do things.

By J. Passmore W E L L D O N E , y o u got through the first week as well. M y first duty this week is to explain the w h o l e s t r u c t u r e r e l a t i n g to U G M s , representation, etc. S o . .

UGMs IC U n i o n G e n e r a l Meetings are held about once a month. T h e y discuss matters which have arisen in the intervening period and decide what should be done, i.e. they instruct myself and the other officers what to do. T h i s c a n be anything from representation within College to matters external (normally those w h i c h affect us).

U G M s are held either on Tuesday or T h u r s d a y lunchtimes (1:30pm to 2:30pm) so nobody will miss lectures. T h e y are well advertised beforehand. A thing called E x e c N e i u s is p r o d u c e d t h r e e t o f o u r d a y s b e f o r e the meeting a n d it contains Officers' reports a n d motions w h i c h are to be discussed.

What happens at a U G M ?

W e l l , t h e m i n u t e s of t h e l a s t m e e t i n g a r e d i s t r i b u t e d at the

to o n c e a t e r m , a m o t i o n o n lecture training (enough said) and a motion on overseas students.

T h e next meeting is T U E S D A Y , O C T O B E R 28 at 1:00pm in the G r e a t Hall.

Timetables R e m e m b e r that no l e c t u r e s should be timetabled for W e d nesday afternoons or the 1:30-2:30 slot on Tuesdays a n d T h u r s d a y s (except for the last term). A n y complaints regarding this — see either your D e p R e p or myself.

Y o u should k n o w by now who your D e p R e p is a n d should elect A c a d e m i c and Social reps this week.

M o t i o n s are p r o p o s e d and s p e e c h e s are m a d e , then the m o t i o n s m a y be a m e n d e d o r o p p o s e d or both. A n amendment adds some e x t r a bits a n d / o r t a k e s a w a y s o m e b i t s a n d is p r o p o s e d in a similar fashion to the main motion, it c a n then be opposed. If necessary, another r o u n d of speeches may be held a n d a f t e r d i s c u s s i o n a v o t e is taken. T h e main motion c a n also be o p p o s e d a n d there c a n also be more speeches, finally leading to a vote. T h e whole process is complicated but it all follows the same pattern. T h e only way you c a n really find out is to go, and w h e n there, if y o u d o not understand, shout and scream at the people at the front until they tell you.

Papers P a p e r s are up in the L o w e r L o u n g e for a multitude of posts, most of w h i c h no one will k n o w anything about. T o explain: T h e External Affairs Officer deals with U L U , grants, overseas students, libraries and various other things. H i s / h e r committee helps the officer.

Party T h e Permanent Working w o r k s o n m a t t e r s r e f e r r e d to them by C o u n c i l , normally of an internal nature, e.g. refectories.

U L U Student Representative C o u n c i l delegates represent I C U within the University o n many academic and university matters.

Union Finance Committee deals with U n i o n finance (which is approximately £189.00).

Committee Academic Affairs deals with lecturer training, tutorials, labwork, etc.

F o r meetings to remain quorate 300 p e o p l e a r e r e q u i r e d . T h a t d o e s not m e a n t h a t just 300 should turn up. If U n i o n meetings are to be effective lots more are needed.

A l s o many people think that student unions are a c r o w d of politicos. W e l l , we are not in N U S a n d believe in representing our o w n students; just look at the agenda, basically a motion to restrict a discussion on a subject

T i d d l y w i n k s was absolutely excellent. W e l l done all who went, I hope y o u keep it up.

A l l for now. H i e ! T r y Bluebell on 2488, wonderful!

Passmore John President

JCR Furniture

Matters Raised W E L L I hope you're all settled in by now, despite the hectic first w e e k . If y o u d i d n ' t c o m e t o F r e s h e r s' Fair then y a , boo a n d sucks because y o u missed all the clubs. H o w e v e r , y o u c a n always get names of club captains, etc, from A n n i e in the U n i o n Office, so y o u c a n still join up. I was very pleased with the way the Fair went, a n d I must thank R i c h A r c h e r , D a v e B r i t t o n and A n n i e , w h o were the only ones w h o stayed till the end to clear up.

A n d now the rest of this weeks

Trophy Lead D e s p i t e w h a t w a s s a i d in t h e F r e s h e r s' F E L I X , the police have been m a k i n g p r o g r e s s on the stolen trophies. T h e y have i d e n t i f i e d a s u s p e c t , w h o left many fingerprints o n the b r o k e n w i n d o w a n d the c a b i n e t i t s e l f , a n d they are at present tracing him so that he c a n "help them with their enquiries".

Page 4

NOTICES

M o s t of the furniture has now c o m e back, completely re-upholstered and looking very nice indeed. A s this was achieved at a cost of over £4,000 to the U n i o n , we would like to see it staying PLEASE n i c e . P l e a s e , please, spare a little thought, a n d treat it with respect, after all, its your money, which c o u l d have been spent in far better ways. A l s o I'd like to give an official warning: if a n y o n e is c a u g h t a b u s i n g the f u r n i t u r e t h e y w i l l be s e v e r e l y disciplined a n d made to pay the cost of making g o o d any damage.

Lecture 6:O0pm Monday, October 13 Mining Lecture Theatre (L31) Prof C T Shaw 'The History of Mining — its Value to Mining Today'.

Service Till The

College

bank has asked us to

point out that balance enquiries only available generally 5:00pm

from

between on

are

the service till 9:00am

weekdays

and

only.

Finance The Union Finance Committee Major C l a i m s meeting will be on Tuesday, N o v e m b e r 4, and all claims must be in to me one week b e f o r e h a n d , i.e. by T u e s d a y , O c t o b e r 28. S o all y o u clubs a n d societies had better start thinking about what y o u need a n d finding s o m e very g o o d reasons why y o u need it!

That's all for this week, so bye for now.

Rae FEUX,

RCS

Nite

Out

There will be a RCS Nite Out to see

the Secret Policeman's Ball on Wednesday,

October

15.

Meet

Travel

Office

6:30pm in Stans.

LST The London

Student

on the JCR

Walkway

is now

from 10:00am to 5:00pm on Tuesday, Full

trading

Monday.

October

Wednesday for

and

10,1980

Friday.

all tickets

Railcards always

open

Monday, begins

available.

Small Ads •Happy Birthday, Nick Pyne. Thanks for last night.

•Sensitive? Outgoing? Imaginative?

What the hell are you doing here?

How about a group relationship with a red hot bird? Try the lounge above Stan's Bar, 7:00pm, Tuesday.

• Easy C a s h ! A n y b o d y wishing to earn some money (about £1.20 per hour) manning the bar at Hariington on Wednesday and Saturday afternoon, please contact Nick Morton, via IC Union Office. Obviously, this will b e s t s u i t s t u d e n t s w h o a r e a c t u a l l y p l a y i n g sport out there.

However, travelling expenses will be paid for barmen not using sports club coaches.

• Single R o o m : £17pw and bills, comfortable flat, kitchen, lounge, bathroom, central heating. S h a r e with four other guys, forty mins to College, close to stations, Croydon.

Contact Chris Hosell, Chem P G , int 2520.

•Life required: B'ham/W Midlands, weekends (Fri night if pos), M Smith, 144 Falmouth Hall.

•Anyone else Interested In starting a record consort? If so contact Patrick Palmer via Chemistry pigeon holes.

•Crash your own model aircraft! Join IC C B Radio Club. Reply via Small Ads or Channel 19. Threes and eights to you all — the ferret.

•Judo Rig, jacket, belt, trousers, in excellent condition, used only for one term, £8. Contact D Cornwell, Mech Eng 3.

•Datsun 240Z, 5 speed gears, L reg, £1,100. Internal 2884 or 274 3051.

•Paper, A4 pads, approx 80 sheets, narrow lined, no margin, good quality, but limited numbers, 20p each, no catch. Contact Ken Strachan, Mech Eng 3.

•Garrard SP25 turntable in need of minor repair, Golding cartridge with diamond stylus included, £5. Contact A Winkler, Chem Eng letter-racks.

•Honda CB500T, 1975, 16,500miles, 6 months tax, new front tyre, rack and halogen headlight, £375. Contact P e t e J e a n s , C C D 2 , or 2 2 8 - 2 4 8 1 evenings.

• Gents R a l e i g h M a g n u m b i c y c l e , 25in frame, 10spd, rack, d y n a m o , extension levers, less than one year old, manufacturers guarantee. Price new £ 1 3 0 , a s k i n g p r i c e £ 9 0 o n o .

Telephone 589 5111 ext 1741 days or 837 3155 evenings.

•Ail those who think that they way to rid yourself of unwanted guests is to get out y o u r h o l i d a y s n a p s from 1978, THINK A G A I N ! By the miracle of modern science I am able to offer you the only method guaranteed to blow people's minds, cause internal i n j u r i e s after o n e g l a n c e a n d rid yourself of unwanted visitors. Yes. for the princely sum of £7.50, the p e s t i c i d e of the m o d e r n e r a — C O B O L P R O G R A M M I N G bv N&R Stern — can be yours, post free! T o take advantage of this ' o n c e in a lifetime' offer contact Mike Weiner, C C D 3.

•Mountaineering Club will be holding their second meeting of term between October 18 and 19. See us in the Union L o w e r L o u n g e o n T u e s d a y after 9:00pm, or watch the ICMC noticeboard (outside Lower Lounge) for details.

•Pain in the neck, back, etc? Muscle therapist at Chelsea School of Human Movement (the old Chelsea College of PE) is now a P G at IC. If aspirins, booze or heat treatment don't work, contact John Taylor-Byrne, Computing dept and walk away a new man/woman or at least informed as to who to contact if the case is not in my domain. No charge to students.

•Hot F o o d : pies, pasties, and toasted sandwiches now available in Stans and Unfon Lower Lounge Bars at evenings and weekends.

Lizzie's Wee Bit Parking Permits W E L L , T H E c o m m i t t e e has m a n a g e d to w h i t t l e t h e 6 0 0 o d d a p p l i c a t i o n s d o w n to t h e list Drinted below. O n e of the criteria u s e d for c h o o s i n g the places was to get as m a n y p e o p l e i n t o C o l l e g e as p o s s i b l e using the p l a c e s we h a v e g o t . Y o u will n o t i c e that s o m e a p p l i c a t i o n s have b e e n specified as joint, e v e n if they were not originally submitted as s u c h . It is a c o n d i t i o n of allocation of the place that the s u c c e s s f u l a p p l i c a n t s agree to share their place s u c h that only one c a r is u s e d in the place o n any given day. O n l y O N E sticker will be allocated. T h i s will have o n it the registration n u m b e r of the c a r s a l l o w e d to u s e t h e s p a c e . C a r s will not be able to park

without

a

sticker.

NAME Vicki Chia Philip Greenstreet Keith Maynard Malcolm Weir C & G Union Caroline Waitt Michael Arthur H Behbahani Peter Ellis RCSU F J Corbett F X O Ugodulanwa H W Cheung Annie Lathaen M R Sabouni G C Onyedim S D Neil M R Azimi Sadjadi Andrew Kidd Nicola Barron John Mala Hironas Gena Gonzales A Fenwick Clive Edmonds, and T L John (Joint) Usama Madi Mona Khademi E S T Fernandes Mark Gabbott Dated Farzin Sobhanpanah J Kirshenborim Sukhdeep Gossain John Kwee M L Salameh A Giannacopoulos G L Cheng P T Nhamburo G Fernando N Lindsay, and J Matthews (Joint) D Yuns K Pate!

D Nolan, and P Chamley (Joint) S Richards G C Muggeridge, anc N Tumber (Joint) . Z A Khan I S Labana John Binns A Rao A West S Veats C Woods W R Calderwood M J Woodward F Mehraban, and N M Naorabadi P Gohil K S Liauw W A Lees C R H Chandler G A Kartsounis

S t i c k e r s will be allocated in the U n i o n Office, f r o m lunchtime o n F r i d a y , O c t o b e r 10, p r o v i d e d the stickers are available.

T h e w i n d s c r e e n stickers will not be issued without p r o d u c t i o n ot t n e venicie registration certificate a n d a U n i o n c a r d .

T h o s e people w h o are f o u n d to b e p a r k i n g i 1 l e g a l l y will be severely dealt with, so please don't break the rules.

Appeals A n y o n e wishing to appeal for a parking place should obtain a form from the U n i o n Office.

T h e s e must be r e t u r n e d to the Office by 5 : 0 0 p m o n F r i d a y , O c t o b e r 17, 1980. T h e n a m e s of t h e a p p l i c a n t s MY\O h a v e b e e n a w a r d e d a place will be published in F E L I X o n F r i d a y , O c t o b e r 24.

DEPARTMENT

REGISTRATION

ZONE

Biochem 3 Physics 2 Geology 3 Chem PG

RPA 331L V K J 273H O T D 597G M Y E 995L A W 58 G J H 424N TPX 980K P L O 429R

H 1 H 1 (S) H 2 (S) H 2 H 3 H 3 (S) E 46 H 4 H 5 H4(S) H 6 H 7 H 8 H 34 H 9 H 10 H 11 H 12 H 13 H 14 H 15 H 16 H 17 H 18 (Joint)

Nightline Welfare Chem Eng PG Physics PG Physics PG Geology PG Maths 2 Union Elec Eng PG Geology PG Mech Eng Elec Eng PG Mech Eng 3 Biochem PG Chem Eng PG Met and Mat Sci PG Chem PG Geology PG Geology PG Civ Eng PG PG C C D PG Soc and Econ PC Mech Eng PG CCD 3 Mech Eng PG Aero 3 Pet Eng PG Elec Eng PG Man Sci PG Chem Eng P G Maths PG Elec Eng P G Mech Eng 3 Mech Eng 3 CCD 3 CCD 3 Civ Eng PG Civ Eng PG Min Res 1 Elec Eng 2 Elec Eng 2 Mech Eng PG Elec Eng 3 Geophysics PG Mech Eng 2 Chem PG Physics PG Physics PG Civ Eng PG Mech Eng PG Biochem PG Elec Eng PG Physics PG Chem Eng PG Mech Eng PG Civ Eng 3 Mech Eng P G

K L H 561K NBJ 468M U Y K 304M JPU 818N MJB 929P O P G 198R K T W 195J RCD 193R X P M 172T S W N 501G K U V 355P H L Y 887K 360 E W V BWU 106H UBL 691S LJB 579L (Joint) T G F 711F S D T 440S MVW 180L EBX 434D DBL S59V JNJ S70L K O Y 114P U R O 509M URA 362M T V L 943L PUR 159H 551V SWV 691J S O Y 107N W Y X 525T and BDV 444L U W N 261H L K X 974P SST 3325 and URJ 721S (Joint) RYF 215E X L J 826J and O D P 488G (Joint) HMA 845T V L F 790M TWK 142V K C H 602K G P C 294N G U E 270K WPM 672S UUK 406G X N F 27S and YRJ 410T (Joint) G G O 49T G L T 93N V M U 286G M L N 479D EP 3361

H 19 H20 H 21 H 22 H 23 H 24 H 25 H 26 H 27 H 28 H 29 H 30 H31 H 32 H 33 (Joint) H 35 H 36 H37 (Joint) H 38 H 39 (Joint) H 40 H 41 H42 H 43 H 44 H 5 (S) H 45 H 46 H 47 H 48 (Joint) H 49 H50 H59 H 60 H 61 FEUX,

T J Joslin Zoology 3 P Naylor Aero PG N Billingham Biochem PG G Kaye Elec Eng 3 M Clement (Joint) Elec Eng 3 K Buckland, and Aero 3 Anthony Pickett, and Mech Eng 3 M Robinson Min Geol 3 D Nelson (Joint) Mech Eng 3 K Godfrey Met 1 M Mahon Chem PG A Jolleys Physics PG J Cochrane Chem Eng 3 Mech Eng PG •A A G Bakr A A Al-Mukhtar (Joint) Elec Eng PG M Mountain Physics PG I R Green Mech Eng 3 D Roberts and Mech Eng 3 N Catford (Joint) Mech Eng 3 S Godsi, and Mech Eng 3 Man Sci S Godsi (Joint) Aero 2 B J Belli R A Lai-Fook Mech Eng PG K J Drinkwater, and Physics 3 D Daniels (Joint) CCD 3 K Hroneos Man Sci PG E Clutton Mech Eng P G J G Radford Elec Eng PG N Journet MRE 3 R Fernhead Aero 1 A Lai Chem 3 D Jayawardena CCD 1 M Winokur Elec Eng P G J P Felix Aero 2 A Lyall Biochem A Stacey Mech Eng PG Physics P G D Tinkler G Virk C C D PG A A Al-Chalabi, and Mech Eng PG K D Al-Faddogh (Joint) Mech Eng PG S Biswas Elec Eng P G D Martino Aero 1 D R Davies C C D PG G Steer Mech Eng PG K Rossiter, and Mech Eng 2 Mech Eng 2 N Ajderian (Joint) Alan Pitman Aero 2 P Athulathmudali Mech Eng PG J Davies Physics 3 E Minassian Met 3 A Etemadi Physics 3 S Pilgrim Physics 1 M Baker Life Sci 3 R P Selville Aero 2 J Wrigley Mech Eng PG M Spence Chem Eng PG K Maguire Econ and Soc PG C Amorim C C D PG D E Allvis Civ Eng PG R H Millward Man Sci PG A Brown Physics 2 J Charlesworth Physics 3 C Andrean Chem Eng 3 S Hunt Elec Eng 1 B Steel CCDPG R A Pullen Physics P G M Buck Geology PG Geology 2 H Sloan S Morzaria Elec Eng 3 R W Ellis Aero 3 - S K Premi Physics 3 P Peters Maths 3 J Payazidis Physics 2 K Soterios Aero 1 I Cherkas Met 1 R N Gergui-Naguib, C C D PG J Ronen Elec Eng PG Z A Chaudhary Met PG P C Spurdens Mat Sci PG L Morris Maths PG V Davey Min Res Eng PG J Maswoswe Civ Eng PG P K S Harder Physics PG Javad Adl Chem Eng PG C G Haigh Biochem 3 A Cheetham Env Tech PG J B Hughes Physics PG J C Ziolkowsi, and Civ Eng PG S F Estefen Civ Eng PG R P Vierod Met PG M C J Perkins Elec Eng 2 P Palmer (Joint) Elec Eng 2 F Taylor Man Sci PG J M Sackett Mech Eng 3 K P Pillai Geophysics PG C Arcouhanis Mech Eng PG Union Vans

October

10,

1980

UUR 987J NPH 536P Y D H 288G K H J 723L K W B 706B (Joint) J O W 242P H O E 183N and G J L 242E and TPX 868K U V O 117F O T B 13M MEY 977R RNA 748J | K A H 462N and JB U 206N (Joint) JYP 325N J H O 102N T S C 484J and C U S 661K RLO 262L S T H 713S RUR 451R G F Y 737E and T D E 444S Y U W 386T O U N 700M PLP 368E Y L A 934G O K X 395M PDW 933M N P G 872D S G T 943R Y H V 258T AHP 813S K L N 493V P G X 487E N N E 879P B G W 434S and M L N 401V E K X 771G P G K 799E WLK 575M HPM 448D EPF 258J and T G F 518M (Joint) SAR 274J PMR 435H V C Y 439H M J M 910P W G T 428M MAO350P LPB 847K MNK 283P O K F 250S NRT 299L O D U 637P U Y W 679M O P M 588R O B K 222H N T H 306J V V G 862L •TKX 560E VRD 629J C J N 927C E U Y 975S W M V 702M H G K 714K T N H 731R C L O 744T PKX 145H YNR 476J Y J G 57K T Y O 106F NBD 256M O L N 510W and BMS 226K (Joint) KJD 843K PRT 718M PPP 163H LPD 589W V A N 307S L L T 730P Y Y K 830T H A T 684N A T F 879L C M A 251M P Y V 272L and W Y M 273S (Joint) 893 C X U C R X 494J and U A C 686G (Joint) X L O 444S K O V 101F V L F 84M K A A 788N

H62 H63 H 64 H 65 (Joint)

H 66 (Joint)

H H H H H

67 68 69 70 71 (Joint)

H 72 H 73 (Joint) H 74 (Joint) H75 H 76 H 77 (Joint) H 78 H 79 H80 H 81 H 82 H83 H 84 H 85 H86 H87 H6(S) H7(S) H8(S) H 9 (S) Joint (S) (S) (S) (S) (S) Joint

H H H H H

10 11 12 13 14

H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H

15 (S) 16 (S) 17 (S) 18 (S) 19 (S) 20 (S) 21 (S) 22 (S) 23 (S) 24 (S) 25 (S) 26 (S) 27 (S) 28 (S) 29 (S) 30 (S) 31 (S) 32 (S) 33 (S) 34 (S) 35 (S)

H H H H H H H H H

36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44

(S) (S) (S) (S) (S) (S) (S) (S) (S) Joint

S 1 S 2 S3 S4 S5 S6 S 7 S8 S9 S10 S 11 (Joint) S 12 S 13 (Joint) S S S S H

14 15 16 17 51 H 58 Page

5

F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F

$ / 1 W y very own FELIX calendar Monday Vet 13

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday 73

Chem Eng Freshers' Dinner

Guilds Election U G M Physics Freshers' Dinner

ENTS Film: The FrontPage

Commem Day and Ball Civ Eng Freshers' Dinner

ENTS Film: The Wild Geese

Mines U G M

0

V8

RCS

UGM

C C D Freshers' Dinner IC

ENTS Film: Death on the Nile

UGM

Wov3

Mech Eng Freshers' Dinner Aero Freshers' Dinner

10

ENTS Film: Exorcist II (The Heretic)

Dinner-in-Hall

13

III

RCS Smoking Concert Beer Festival

19

Dinner-in-Hall

125

£4

Morphy Day

26

ENTS FILM: Foul Play

20

Film: Rag Premiere

27

ENTS Film: Con/essions/rom a Holdiday Camp

\Dec 1

ENTS Film: Looking for Mr Goodbar

C

10

Mines Xmas U G M RCS Xmas U G M Guilds Xmas U G M Dinner-in-Hall

Waitrose Opening Times Mon Tues Wed Thurs Fri Sat

1pm—7pm 9am—6pm 9am—6pm 9am—8pm 9am—8pm 8:30am—4pm

Bookshop Opening Times During Termtime 9:15am—5:15pm During Vacations 9:15am—2:30pm

11

ENTS Film: Tommy Christmas Debate

Lyon Playfair Opening Times Termtime and Easter Vac. Mon—Fri 9:30am—9:00pm Sat 9:30am—5:30pm Other Vacations Mon-Fri 9:30-5:30pm Haldane Library Opening Times Mon—Fri

9:30am—5:30pm

Clubs &

Societies

Liberal L A S T W E D N E S D A Y , Richard H o l m e , President of the Liberal P a r t y s p o k e to the freshers* m e e t i n g of I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e L i b e r a l C l u b . H e stressed the fact that the Liberal P a r t y had its g r e a t e s t o p p o r t u n i t y in r e c e n t years with a harsh and unpopular T o r y g o v e r n m e n t f a c e d by a n ineffective a n d bickering L a b o u r opposition, and forecast a breakthrough in the next few years, as Liberal policies on human rights, ecology, industrial partnership, and 'power to the people', were seen as relevant to the situation of Britain and the world. During avid discussion afterwards it was felt that, whilst the Liberal party should emphasise its role as the p r o g r e s s i v e a l t e r n a t i v e , we should be prepared to work with b r o a d - b a s e d a n d single issue groups to achieve our ends, and not take the chauvinistic attitude of the other parties insisiting we were the 'only way'.

Imperial College Liberal C l u b is part of the L o n d o n U n i o n of Liberal Students, which will be holding its first meeting at the Collegiate Threatre, University College, G o r d o n Street, W C l at 7:00pm on Wednesday, O c t o b e r 15, a n d w i l l b e a d d r e s s e d b y D a v i d Steel, M P speaking on the 'Liberal alternative'. Future events include a theatre trip, disco, and the U n i o n of Liberal Students C o n f e r e n c e at L e e d s , a s w e l l a s t h e u s u a l r o u n d of campaigning. S o come along and join the most active progressive student movement a r o u n d . K e e p y o u r eyes peeled to What's On in F E L I X , or better still, drop us a line in the U n i o n Office and join I C Liberal C l u b .

Red

IF

SO

In a d d i t i o n we a r e in t o u c h with a local geriatric and psychiatric hospital where several people have been regularly visiting and where we gave a very successful concert at the end of the Easter term.

In the next few weeks we plan the following events: Monday,

October

13:

Nursing

c o u r s e begins in the C e n t r e at 6:00pm.

Wednesday,

October

Health 18:

Visit

to S t M a r y A b b o t s Hospital for coffee and talk on opportunities for volunteers at 2:00pm.

Thursday,

Aid

course

October

begins

Saturday,

16:

at

First

5:45pm.

18: T r i p

October

to

Hyde Park with local O A P s between 12.00 a n d 6:00pm.

Coming

Singers

Soon:

and

i n s t r u m e n t a l i s t s n e e d e d for a short concert (tour?) at a local hospital.

If a n y of t h e a b o v e i s o f interest please contact S i m o n C h a n d l e r , M a t h s 3.

Folk Imperial College F o l k C l u b will almost certainly cease to function after the C h r i s t m a s C e i l i d h , i.e. we a r e g o i n g to f o l d u n l e s s a m i r a c l e o c c u r s a n d t h e r e is a dramatic increase in membership and audience.

H o w e v e r , the few who have joined will be able to get their money's w o r t h by attending the following guest nights: O c t 20: S a m and A n n e N o v 3: C e i l i d h ( p r o b a b l y w i t h M u c k r a m Wakes) N o v 17: B o b Pegg D e c 8: C h r i s t m a s C e i l i d h with Fiddle Bridge.

Cross

T H E M E M B E R S g r o u p of the R e d C r o s s at I C w a s f o r m e d slightly more than a year ago to complement the activities of the Red Cross Detachment.

O u r members are involved in a variety of activities; frequently we are called o n to send one or two members to escort an elderly or infirm person on a necessary

Do

journey, perhaps from home to hospital in L o n d o n ; we receive a c o u p l e of r e q u e s t s a t e r m for detective work, tracing a person last k n o w n in this area on behalf of their family overseas; sometimes we are called on to assist at the local R e d C r o s s Fair in N o v e m b e r (on the bar!) and at a C h r i s t m a s P a r t y for local elderly and disabled in December.

N E X T D E B A T E : A debate on the relative merits of a one or two tier comprehensive system t o be h e l d in H u x l e y 3 4 0 at 1:00pm on Tuesday, O c t o b e r 14.

W o u l d a n y o n e i n t e r e s t e d in s p e a k i n g at f u r t h e r d e b a t e s please contact D Lonsdale (Maths 3) or J C o c h r a n e ( C h e m E n g 2).

ICCAG I C C A G is the Imperial College Community Action G r o u p . The group is involved in many spheres of community work, as the name s u g g e s t s , a f e w of w h i c h w e w o u l d like to outline.

Taskforce T h i s is a project w h i c h aims to help old people by putting them in contact with the more able bodied, and active members of s o c i e t y . U s u a l l y it i n v o l v e s s o m e o n e visiting an elderly person and helping them, either on a 'one-off basis or regularly.

Soup Runs L e a v e every Tuesday and Friday at 10:30pm from F a l m o u t h kitchen. A mini van takes soup, bread a n d biscuits to a few of the p e o p l e w h o sleep r o u g h in L o n d o n . The soup run needs three types of people: Drivers, who have to be over 21, have a clean licence for 18 months and take a relatively simple driving test o r g a n i s e d by the u n i o n ; people to make soup; people to turn up and help distribute soup, bread and biscuits.

MUST

HAVE

Page

8

cent,

peseta,

yen,

Meet Bot/Zoo Common Room, 12:30. Coach goes from Beit Arch 1:00.

AFRICAN-CARIBBEAN SOCIETY FRESHERS'

RECEPTION

F r i d a y 10th O c t o b e r , E l e c E n g 408 Free food and Film Everybody welcome.

6.00pm

ESTABLISHED 1875

TECHNICAL BOOKS Debating

LETRASET

The Debating Society would like to announce that J o n a t h a n Millar w o n the b a l l o o n debate on O c t o b e r 7. H i s prize is an inscribed pot in the U n i o n B a r .

DRAWING INSTRUMENTS A R T MATERIALS

SOME

FOREIGN

STATIONERY PAPERBACKS

CHANGE

Stoke Mandeville Hospital in Bucks has the only spinal injury unit in the South of England and the largest unit in the country.

At the moment it is in danger of closing down because of delapidation, the hospital needs at least ÂŁ1,000,000.

N o we don't want money — Well, not exactly.

If you have any foreign change, any denomination, any amount, please bring it to Annie in the IC Union Office.

Every

RAG MAG TRIP TO CAMBRIDGE 15th OCTOBER

LAMLEYS

Have You Been Abroad?

You Come From Abroad?

YOU

Adventure Playground W e are involved in helping to make the Holly Street A dv e n t u r e Playground. T h e first visit this year will leave from Beit A r c h w a y at 10:00am o n Saturday, O c t o b e r 18, returning somewhere a r o u n d 7:00pm.

W e do organise other things, s u c h as v i s i t i n g p e o p l e in S t M a r y A b b o t s and St Stephens Hospitals a n d recruiting helpers for the hospital for sick children at G r e a t O r m o n d Street.

If you are interested in any of t h i s , e i t h e r t u r n u p o r get in touch with us. T h i s c a n be done via the I C C A G pigeon hole in the U n i o n Office, or by c o m i n g to our r o o m at the top of the U n i o n Building any M o n d a y lunchtime.

will

be

gratefully

EXHIBITION R O A D S.W.7 T E L . 01-589-1276

received.

FEUX,

October

10,

1980

H A V I N G got the first week of the year out of the way, the R C S machine goes thundering on.

The pub crawl on Wednesday was well attended and enjoyed by all. A Kangela from over a hundred people in the tunnel served to terrorise all the tourists in the vicinity, so the rest of the evening was (fairly) peaceful.

T h e real blockbuster of the week took place on Saturday.

About 170 intrepid R C S persons turned out to tiddle and wink down O x f o r d Street. D e s p i t e being outnumbered by Guilds, R C S pissed all over them by collecting around £940 with a few c a n s still o u t s t a n d i n g . T o p collector of the day was Andy N o r t h of P h y s i c s 1 with £ 4 2 .

H o w e v e r , congratulations to everyone who came along, you're all stars as far as I'm concerned.

The next Rag stunt will be this Saturday and is a circus outside H a r r o d s . C l o w n s and other performers should meet in the R C S U Office at 10:00am.

The bar night on Sunday was a good old barnstormer to finish off the week on a high note and totally wreck Archer's voice.

Forthcoming events include the Freshers' Dinners. Maths is on Friday and starts at 7:00pm for 7:30pm in the A n t e - r o o m , Sherfield Building. There is also a party afterwards to which anyone who has bought a ticket for any of the freshers' dinners can go.

Merely turn up at the J C R after 10:00pm with your ticket receipt and you will be admitted.

Finally, the R C S Union Office is open every lunchtime, so drop in to buy a slopshirt or just for a cup of coffee and a chat.

See you around.

PJ

F R E S H E R S ' week is over and I have nearly had to retire with t alcoholic poisoning. The Fair was a great success with a lot of regalia sold; this was followed by ice-skating, where, despite many attempts, no injuries were incurred. The rugby trials on Wednesday were well attended and in the evening we had a great barnite. O n Friday we had the best J C R party yet, and hopefully you all met some of the women from IF.

Tiddlywinks was a heap of fun, especially down the centre of Oxford St. In the end we collected £290 which means we collected more money per head than the other C C U s . Finally on Saturday night we held our annual pubcrawl, which although poorly attended, showed that the drinking spirit in Mines remains one of excess.

Undergraduate Research Opportunities A S C H E M E is being introduced whereby first and s e c o n d year undergraduate students can participate in research either in or outside their own departments. It is entirely voluntary.

Participation will give you a chance to:

Later on this term we hope to arrange a Rag collecting visit to Windsor.

C&G N E X T M O N D A Y , October 13, Guilds are having a roller-skating trip to the Covent Garden Rink.

T h e cost will be £1.20 (group rate) plus £1 deposit for skates, plus travel. We may be holding a roller-skating Rag collection later this term so if you need some practise, this is a good opportunity.

O n Tuesday we are holding the E L E C T I O N U G M at which you will be able to vote for the new Guilds President and Hon Junior Treasurer. Be in M e c h Eng 220 at 12:45pm on the 14 to cast your all-important vote.

O n Thursday, October 16, the fun really starts, with the first of the F r e s h e r s ' D i n n e r s . T h e s e offer an excellent opportunity to meet other members of your department, have a really good three-course meal and generally have a great evening. There will be s h e r r y (or o r a n g e juice) s e r v e d in the Sherfield A n t e room at 7:00pm and the meal will start at 7:30pm.

After the dinner and speeches there will be an opportunity to socialise with other members of your department over coffee in the J C R . A bar will also be open.

The cost of the dinner is £4.50 for freshers, £6 for others. This price includes sherry, wine, port and coffee. O n the subject of port — a couple of 'rules': the decanter must not be allowed to touch the table; you must only handle it with your left hand, passing it to your left; ladies must not touch the decanter at all a n d it s h o u l d be p a s s e d behind them.

One other rule: anyone who l e a v e s the r o o m b e f o r e the R o y a l T o a s t m u s t , on their return, drink one pint of beer (slightly salted), so make sure you 'go' before the dinner.

Tickets are available from the G u i l d s O f f i c e or f r o m y o u r departmental reps. The dates of the dinners are shown elsewhere in FELIX. Andy

C&G

Dixon

Publicity Officer FELIX,

October

- learn at first hand about the sort of activities you can expect to undertake after graduating; - learn at your own pace, without formal instruction, by actually doing something; - have the opportunity of contributing to knowledge in your subject; - decide whether or not a particular field of work suits you; - further interests you may have already developed — from industrial experience, hobbies and so on; - cross disciplinary boundaries; - achieve a publication, prototype, invention, prize or other tangible item; - be inspired concernin g the context and purpose of your formal coursework; - maybe earn some money.

How to Join Remember you are free to join or opt out of this scheme at any time — it's up to you! You will be working in your own time.

A list giving the areas of research in which opportunities for undergraduates currently exist can be obtained from Professor J. C. Anderson,

Room

714,

Electrical

Engineering

Department.

Bear in

mind that the intention is not necessarily that you should carry out a specific project with a beginning and middle and end; participation is the name of the game!

The hours you work in research are up to you. Laboratories are open until 10:00pm each evening and at the weekend. You should apply to the appropriate authority (in your department) for an out-ofhours pass and (where necessary) a laboratory key. Remember the safety

rule that you

may

never

work

alone

in

a

laboratory.

Formal Requirements There are no formal, academic requirements but you are invited, at the end of your research activities, or at some other suitable point to write a brief technical report on your work. This report should discuss, amongst other things, what work you have done; the theoretical and practical significance of the work; how you think the research would/should be carried forward; how the experience of participating in the research contributed to your intellectual and practical development.

The report will be submitted to your supervisor who will forward it to the departmental central office. It will be kept to be referred to when your department is called upon to give you a reference In the future. It will also be useful to the Examiners when they come to discussing your final degree.

College Health Service The College Health Service at 14 Princes Gardens is available to students and staff. It includes a well-equipped surgery, consulting rooms and a sick bay (term time only).

Students and staff who live in the postal districts listed below can also register with the Health Service, which holds an N H S list on behalf of the College: SW 1, 3, 5, 6, 7, 10 NW 1, 3, 5, 6, 8 EC 1, 2 Hamlet Gardens W 1, 2, 8, 9, 10, 11, 14 N 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 10, 16, 19 W C 1, 2

:

Students are strongly advised to register with a doctor while in London; this provides full emergency cover and visiting at home or lodgings when necessary, day and night, throughout the year.

A n optional insurance scheme has been introduced for students to cover payment for services not provided free of charge by the N H S , e.g. the sick bay and certain medical examinations. Premiums are: 1 2 3 4

year or part-time course £5 year course £8.50 year course £12 year course £14

Further details of the facilities offered by the College Health Service, N H S registration and the insurance scheme are available from 14 Prince's Gardens.

10, 1980

Page

9

nice try, Bri!). I shudder to think what College would do if they even suspected that any of those rag mags were ever sold afterwards without the printer's imprint.

So public-spirited was I, that I bought out Rag's entire s u p p l y at F r e s h e r ' s F a i r (lOp each) to stop them falling into the wrong hands. These illegal items are now being sold for personal and private gain at £5 each.

PS Congrats are now in order to Dave J a g o for k e e p i n g up the t r a d i t i o n of p r o d u c i n g excellent rag mags. I like it a lot and it's nice to see the printer's imprint this year (you can't miss it). I'm not terribly conversant with the Printer's Imprint Act, 196T,so I wouldn't know whether it needed the publisher's name or not.

By

U i o m t e t i b\*ib

B.B.

tea

Wolffe

ptmb

R E M E M B E R the story about the rotten food in Southside in the Freshers' FELIX? Well, authoritative sources tell us that as jsoon as Mr Mooney saw FELIX he rushed into the kitchens with Mr Parsons (Assistant Refectory Manager) and proceeded to grill (or reheat, maybe) all of the staff.

T h e c o o k - f r e e z e a b u s e is c o m m o n knowledge in the kitchens and Mr Mooney was very annoyed that it had been leaked to the press. We would dare to suggest that instead of wasting his time attempting to cover up his failings he diverted his attention to doing a better job. 'Nuff said?

Illegal R m

W m

S O M U C H for all the fuss about Steve Marshall's rag mag being illegal last year because it didn't have the printer's name on it. Even Big Brian made detrimental comments about it (we all know it was just a very convenient excuse to stop its sale —

T H E O i l y D o w s o n M e m o r i a l P r i z e for misleading headlines was today presented to Mr S Goulder, FELIX news editor. Mr S J Marshall, current holder of the title, was , visibly m o v e d by this s h o c k defeat but confidentially stated that he would be back on form soon.

IT'S NICE to see that the Union bog lights have at long last been fixed.

So, when is Rachel Jane going to realise that us masculine types also need such requisites as soap, and bog paper? Locks and handles on the doors would be nice too.

Liz Lindsay has been heard to comment that she thinks that the paper in the ladies is far too hard. Woopee! But what about us blokes, long finger-nails play havoc with our piles, you know!

While we're on the bog: when was the last time R a c h e l J a n e c h e c k e d the D u r e x machine? I would have thought someone would have told her that it needed filling by now.

Puzzle Corner By

Akc£

Mm

I M U S T be feeling particularly anal today.

I've been absorbed by the new KimberlyClark bog paper all this week. Most of the halls have sprouted little plastic dispensers of single sheet paper. Did you know, and not a lot of people know this, but the equivalent amount of paper is T W I C E as expensive as the old stuff. At first, I was astounded that College should want to double their already massive toilet paper bills, but after careful experimentation in the field (where do you think I wrote this article?) I think they may not be as daft as everybody thinks.

While I usually pull about eight sheets off a roll to make a four sheet wiper, I find it awfully time c o n s u m i n g to pull out the equivalent from these dastardly dispensers.

And I have discovered that I only need a couple of sheets for the average bomb load — thus cutting down wastage and U-bend blockage. V Good.

I also did a little research amongst some of the FELIX staff members. Dave Jago tells me he only uses one sheet at a time anywav and thinks College are wasting money. However, Mark Smith claims to need a 16-sheet wiper i as a minimum. Even this is no match for what he cutely terms his 'flock of sparrows' after a Star of India Curry.

Why don't Y O U write to the Editor and tell him what you think of the new bog paper.'

L I N S T E A D basement is currently being tidied up. It is used as a trunk and baggage store but tends to be abused by ex-students who return fifteen years later expecting to find their trunks still intact.

O n e such trunk was discovered which belonged to an Iranian ex-Mech Eng student.

After forcing the lock an interesting item was noticed amongst the clothes, books and soldering irons — a gold-plated vibrator!

IC UNION FRESHERS' CONCERT

Scaramouche

T h e r e are very few students of logic at Primelia C o l l e g e ; not surprising, really, considering their professor's sense of humour.

When exam results were announced last term, for instance, he mixed up the cards in his secretary's address file, so all six final year students received a letter giving the results of one of the others. Predictably, all six were waiting outside his office when he arrived the following morning.

"Well work them out!" beamed the professor. "After all, you know we awarded one first, two seconds, and three thirds. And surely you guessed that Bumble did better then Drudge, and Clumsy didn't do as well as Amble."

"I now know everyone's results," announced Fumble. " F r o m that, I can deduce them all, too," said Clumsy.

"Now I know them all," put in Bumble. " M e too,"groused Amble. "I thought I'd done better than that."

The six of them then set off for the Queen's Legs to celebrate, leaving the professor's secretary working how to put the correct names to the addresses in her file. Can you help her?

Solutions please, with comments and criticisms, to me c/o FELIX Office by 12:00noon on Tuesday, October 14.

+ s u p p o r t

1

Page

10

FELIX,

October

TOMORROW 7:30pm

CONCERT HALL 10,

1980

ONLY

£2

Karate

The Links Cup T H E

this

T H E

to the H o c k e y

work

Links C u p was awarded

year (posthumously)

C l u b d u e to their h i g h l y

an

and

award

sporting success

are: in

facilities o f I C W e i g h t s a ten-stage

multigym,

the College

housed

weights,

housed

room

the College

in a

the

Health

C e n t r e (quite convenient!). C e r t a i n a r e reserved

periods

for

and

to

Saturday

5:30-8:30pm

Tuesday,

on

card

easy

to

is v e r y

safe a n d

u s e , so w o m e n to

welcome

join

a r e also

a n d use the

apparatus.

I ' m sure

onstration

c a n be a r r a n g e d for

anyone To

unsure join

from

Club: who

may

a

dem-

o f h o w t o use it.

I C Weights

Club

first

card

(cos t

the Secretary

Andy

Lorans

c a n be found

Lower

that

a membership

purchase £\)

of the

( C i v E n g 3), i n the U n i o n

L o u n g e at l u n c h t i m e s . Y o u then

during payment

(same

use the

Weights

m u l t i g y m ,

Club

hours o n

o f the normal

15p entry

at A C C b y

a w a r d

the

there

agree

someone

is k e p t

HEY, know but

membership conditions

that

last a

in the Weights

those

a n d believe

that

that's

just

is j u s t is

their prefer

and

not good

enough. y o u that

a

thing

as

a n d if you

apathy

(which

w h o turned

trials.

We

I C

didn't

advertising

o f its c u r r e n t

is w h y w e

h a d o u r first

decided ritual

need

7 October

meeting

o n , a n d organised

issues

as

on

in which we

training

such

sessions,

etc.

methods

y o u a r e interested

(men

and women

H o w e v e r , if a n y o n e h a s a n y i d e a s a s

Tony

Kakas

to h o w t o r e c t i f y this s i t u a t i o n , w e

Ainslie

w o u l d be g l a d to hear f r o m

keep

you.

sports

your

eyes

columns

in joining

alike),

(Maths

(Physics

a l l the

120

people

contact

P G )or Mike

ask y o u to bear

would

over

t h e next

l e w weeks

the sides settle d o w n , so k e e p o n the club

eye

the U n i o n

haven't

at

been

a d d your

to

provided. could tick

name

If y o u a r e

you make o r cross

sure

could

t h e list selected

y o u either

against

a n explanation

indicate

your

name

if necessary)

intention to t u r n

your

u p , b y 1 2 : 3 0 p m , o n the d a y the

your

selected

to p l a y

you

with until

B a r . If y o u

present

for a t e a m a n d w a n t

to

just

noticeboard,

outside

before

match.

T h e r e

two

is a

referees

on October

21

course at U L U ,

hours a night for seven

with end.

a

qualifying

Anyone

going

glued

to

F E L I X

Melvin

for m o r e

details.

Office

Mike

Ainslie

Physics

sides after

trials.

3). A l t e r n a t i v e l y ,

Gunn

about

out reasonable

starting

If

o n their o w n .

W e have

to

u p for the

i n d i c a t e d they w i s h e d to p l a y

who

(with

Tuesday

people

Steve

I

YOU).

I

as since w e

o w n training

freaks,

to inform

such

general

members

" c l u b

to instil a ' c l u b

to train

T H A N K S

people

f o r t h e c l u b a n d i t is i m p o s s i b l e t o

somewhere,

it's d u e to p o o r

know,

at

against a n y o n e , as

no need

M A N Y

We

all y o u basketball

there

year

Club.

s p i r i t ' as s u c h , b e c a u s e m o s t

and

the

season.

you're out there

This

do the rugby or football clubs, etc.

have

to m a k e

though

us

desk a n d

mentioned

Fair

Football

Basketball

o n production

Club

was not really

have

a

sort

paying

Basi

H

two

Basketball C l u b ,

do not compete

We

at A C C

this

in the U n i o n G y m .

second

was amongst

earlier

Wed-

1:00pm

Captain

to 16

f o r £3

room

payment

Freshers'

spirit"

itself

on

17 v o t e s

even

3:00pm

between

season.

was awarded

was agreed

stolen

apply).

Finally,

multigym

in the preceeding

afternoon

evenings

and

most

y o u want

cash

be borrowed

M o n d a y ,

evenings.

The

weights

of your Weights

Friday

season

without

the Sportscentre

may

the

fee. T h e k e y for t h e

(inclusive)

and

Thursday

entry

at

are: 12:00-2:30pm

times

Monday

go s w i m m i n g

the

with

a n d use

oi £1)

whenever

and

conventional

Weights

C l u b m e m b e r s o n l y o n the facilities.

These

multigym

club

vote

It

to the Sportscentre

at a discount

to t h e

trophy

this

or y o u m a y p u r c h a s e a

(i.e.

b y the

The

trophy fee,

ticket

Sportscentre a n d

conventional under

Club

annually Committee

w i t h S a i l i n g C l u b a close

Weights Club T H E

made

Clubs

Monday

7:30-9:30pm

between nesday

C l u b will be having

on

outs

y e a r last s e s s i o n . T h e L i n k s C u p is

Athletic

Compiled by Phil Webb, Sports Editor

successful

Karate

3

on

it

exam

weeks at the

w h o is i n t e r e s t e d i n please

Collins

see m e o r

in the

U n i o n

any lunchtime.

Steve I C A F C

Club

Veats

Captain

The tide of terror that swept A m e r i c a IS HERE

SHiNiNC

THE

ft*!i([, id M N O V E L Hi

Wt(Nfl»r

A STANLEY KUBRICK RLM JACK NICHOLSON SHELLEY DUVAtl T "HE SHINING" STEPHEN KING STANLEY KUBRICKs DIANE JOHNSON STANLEY KUBRICK JAN HARLAN i'lISra N

o

w

a

t

a

c

i

n

e

Friday), October

m

a

10, 1980

n

e

a

r

y o u .

Page 11

themselves as an efficient, vibrant Exec, as I received a further two mysterious phone calls from Mr Passmore (Irishman) urging me to print their letter.

Mr Passmore (Irishman) then picked fault with the headline 'Freshers' U G M Inquorate' claiming there is no such word as inquorate. Of course, we were merely quoting Mr Passmore (Irishman) at the U G M — see (2) of the Exec's letter, and the part of Passmore's Preversions where he uses the word 'quorate'.

What about the actual letter? 1-4 are mere , trivial crap intended to fill out the letter. As for (5), I would ask why Rae Snee did not inform me of these details when I asked her at the end of August for the P G Issue. Also, I distinctly remember Mr Passmore negotiating a shady deal (cash in hand) with a security guard who knew the right people for 'very cheap' alarm systems. Whatever came of that John, I don't see you reporting it in your articles each week.

Slapped wrists all round!

Last Friday, I was sent a letter by the Union Executive, claiming certain factual inaccuracies in last week's FELIX. Before I continue, here is the letter:

Dear Sir, Just a wee note to clear up a few factual inaccuracies in your FELIX of October 3, 1980.

1. Exec News was not distributed in a frenzy at the Rector's Reception. The copies were placed in each department as per usual.

2. A meeting is not inquorate until the quorum is challenged and a quorum call cannot be withdrawn.

3. The Union Bar remained open until 5:00pm at Freshers' Fair.

4. Miss Ruth Hildebrand's jacket was stolen from the Guilds Reception held in the Union Concert Hail, not from the proceedings in the Great Hall.

5. The two gentlemen who inspected the trophy cabinet and the Rape Alarm system around the Union Office were from the firm who are to install further alarms. The degree of security was decided at the beginning of August when it was agreed to install an alarm on the trophy cabinet at a cost of £101, and two additional rape alarms in the Union Office at a cost of £170.

6. The Freshers' U G M , October 7, 1976 was closed due to inquoracy at 2:30pm. The Freshers' U G M , October 5, 1978, was closed due to inquoracy at 2:20pm.

7. Bill Robertson has not yet received his Honorary Life Membership of IC Union as he was unable to attend the Freshers' U G M , but the presentation is scheduled for the U G M October 28, 1980.

We could go on, but that's enough for the time being.

We fee"l it will be a great pity if this trend is allowed to continue as there is a great risk that the Letters Page will be reduced to corrections of mistakes made in the previous week's issue.

Love Michael John Rachel Jane Elizabeth Agnes

The Exec must be very proud of their letter as I have heard nothing else since. Rae Snee informed IC Radio of the letter and it became a major news item. Midweek, the Exec got the impression that I wasn't going to print their missive and they descended on me in force to attempt to grill me about it.

I must have not satisfied their desire for publicity for their cause, i.e. that portraying 1

What about (6)? Here I fall down, what I had meant to write was that this is the first Freshers' U G M for five years to be inquorate RIGHT F R O M T H E V E R Y BEGINNING A T 1:00pm. I notice the quoted U G M s had a good one and a half hours of business discussed. And (7) — trivial pooh.

I fear that if the trend of spending many working hours devising methods of getting at the Editor of FELIX is not averted then the present nine to five Exec will degenerate into a 'What time does the bar open Exec'.

As for Mr Passmore, may I advise him that his year as President will be judged on the amount of policy passed at U G M s and the improvements in College life made, N O T on how many times he is seen arseholed in the Union Bar.

continued from front

page

IC Mosque fundamental questions about the very safety of the mosque, and of the equipment of IC Radio. It is startling that Dave Fuller was only i n f o r m e d of the d e c i s i o n to site a m o s q u e at 9 P r i n c e s G a r d e n s last Thursday after the decision was finalised.

U is indeed woeful that the Estates Office saw fit to go ahead without even cursory consultation. Though it is clear that Islam Soc have a case for a mosque, is this the best site available? Unfortunately due to the non-appearance of Islam S o c in the Union Handbook or its officers in the Union Directory, FELIX has been unable to discuss with them their point of view. continued from front page

Trophies crime desk on our behalf who informed him that a c c o r d i n g to the crime b o o k , the fingerprint s e a r c h h a d drawn negative r e s u l t s . T h i s was s i g n e d by D e t e c t i v e Constable Zellmer, the officer in charge of the case. Unfortunately, D C Zellmer was unavailable for comment.

What's on October

Friday,

10

•Islamic S o c Freshers' Party, 6:00pm, I C W A Lounge. Free.

Sunday,

October

12

•Gaelic Football, 12:30pm, meet U n i o n Bar with kit.

Monday,

October

•Badgesoc Meeting, Committee

Room.

13

12:30pm,

Green

Free.

•Red C r o s s Nursing Course begins, 6:00pm, Gdns.

•Ski

Health Centre,

Club

14 P r i n c e s

Trip to A l e x a n d r a

Palace

S k i C e n t r e , 6:00pm, meet u n d e r S o u t h K e n tube a r c a d e .

Tuesday,

October

14

•Vegsoc Meeting, 12:45pm, M a t h s 348.

Lunch

will

be p r o v i d e d

•Chemsoc

for 30p.

L e c t u r e : Chemistry

oj

Colour Photography b y D r C A Williams (Research Manager, Kodak), C h e m L e c Theatre B .

•Socialist

Soc Meeting,

5:45pm,

6:30pm,

G r e e n Committee R o o m . With e x - I C U President o n the Student M o v e m e n t a n d the Left.

Wednesday,

October

15

•IC Postgrad Group Meeting, 12:30, Union

Concert

Hall.

• C o m p i l i n g Broadsheet, R C S U Office. in print.

TheTrish

An

President

apology

I would wish to retract all of the above statements; after they were pasted down I realised that I had been a little harsh on the Exec. So, John, Rae and Liz, please consider all of the above well and truly retracted.

2:00pm,

G e t your name

misspelt

•Indian S o c F r e s h e r s ' R e c e p t i o n , 6:00pm, U p p e r L o u n g e . not just freshers.

All

welcome ,

•David Steel, speaking o n The Liberal Alternative, 7:00pm, Collegiate T h e a t r e , University C o l l e g e , G o r d o n Street.

Thursday,

October

16

•Hang Gliding C l u b Meeting, 12:30pm, Mech

E n g 342. A l l w e l c o m e ,

training

c o u r s e s will be a r r a n g e d .

•Socialist S o c Meeting, 1:00pm, M a t h s 3,40.

Thanks

to

All those people who helped this week, I won't list you as I don't know some of your names.

Please come to the staff meeting at 1:00pm today and introduce yourself in a more relaxed atmosphere. A n d don't forget the Phoenix meeting on Tuesday at 7:00pm in Stans.

•Gliding C l u b Meeting, 5:30pm, A e r o 254. O p e n to a n y o n e .

•Red C r o s s First A i d Course, begins 6:00pm, B o t / Z o o C o m m o n R o o m .

Friday,

October

17

• C l i m b i n g M e e t i n g at S w a n a g e , 5:30pm, U n i o n A r c h . Full details o n I C M C n o t i c e b o a r d (outside Lower Lounge).

FELIX is published by the Editor lor and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB. (589 5111 ext. 1048/int. 2881) Copyright FELIX 1980. Editor: S.J. Marshall, Advertising Manager: M.A. Smith. Registered at the CPO as a newspaper.