Founded in 1949
The Newspaper of Imperial College Union
B0 ROMPS HOME
Prince gives Mooney thumbs up:f P R I N C E P H I L L I P payed a visit to IC o n W e d n e s d a y to c h a i r the T e n t h G e n e r a l C o u n c i l of the D u k e of E d i n b u r g h A w a r d Scheme. O v e r 400 delegates f r o m a l l over B r i t a i n a n d 100 f r o m overseas attended. They
were
Rector
at
proceeded of
the
welcomed
11:00am, to discuss
scheme
intended
to
the
which
help
interest
designed
the then
progress ".
with
.
.
the
who
take
in their welfare.
as
an
is
both
y o u n g a n d those people an
by
and
It
is
introduction
to
leisure time activities, a
challenge
to
persoanl
the
individual
achievement,
and
those
and
people
who
are
a
citizens."
guide
to
organisations
concerned
d e v e l o p m e n t
After
to as
of
about our
the
future
H R H
—
an
for
address
by
a
Lord
food
our in
College.
with
success
reference
u n e m p l o y e d ,
people
in
e m p l o y m e n t
d i s a d v a n t a g e d delegates
g r o u p s ' ,
adjourned
to
y o u n g
for
a n d the
lunch.
B e i n g served in the J C R , l u n c h was
provided
caterer,
M r
by
the
Mooney,
College and
prised of Fish Kedgeree, Salad,
com-
Tomato
C h i c k e n Pilaff, P i l a u
Rice
It w o u l d
entire
point the
occasion
from
of view
well
from
unnoticed students. asked
by
visitors "I
stand a n d count
vol
au
vent
Potatoes, Cheese, Cofliee, souls 250
all
bottles
No 566
W h e n point,
F r e n c h
sufficient
—
Croquette
Croquenbach,
Regency,
Salad
for
washed of
me
wine.
B r e a d 550
a n d
with
I
of
I
he
Lindley
should
for
know.
&
from
apologise thinking
gave
cylinder
Browne
Bo 1902
started
journey.
the
At
from
Bo,
Chris Gyot, R i d d
Dave
he
coming
Despite
and
arrived
a
few
passengers
Gayer and
at
an
Purley
noises'
engine.
problems.
Sue
Brighton
at
1:00pm. G u i l d s m e n welcome
Boomalaka the
the don't
two
'knocking
100
on
God,
Guildsmen,
Bo driver, Chris R o l p h , had
warm
not
of
Park.
he
either".
further
w o u l d like to
Captain
that
Hyde
Andy Jo
it
R C S
also
Jez
Friday, November 7,1980
a
along
passenger
successfully all and
went
take
Bo
storming
motored
Rushton, with
Ner-a-Car
not
a
promenade.
Armitage,
Brighton.
did
gave
with
as
Brighton
the
F E L I X to
James
don't
a n d it's
them
" O h
so
how
here,
as t h e
heard
know".
hungry
down
pressed he said,
been
'em,
cheer
and
F E L I X
L i n d l e y
to c o u n t
a
eventful
almost
majority
contingent
and
being
be
know,
up
at
when
had
don't
Fruit Salad, Grapefruit Cocktail,
to
to
the
Indeed,
great
Duke's
College as
that
a
A
s o m e dressed in pyjamas,
everyone's
the
C a p t a i n
many said:
appear
arrival
organised
on,
caterer
was
almost —
delegates'
departure
the and
congratulations
Saute
Kidneys au Jerez, Chicken
that
'excellent'
having such a superb
the
particular
Scheme
F E L I X
been
her
Press
Award
to
had
Perry of Walton, and a'Discussion
y o u n g
V a l l a n c e , the
commented
offered
' O p p o r t u n i t y for all —
Reality?
M a r g a r e t Officer
IT W A S s u n s h i n e all the way for the drivers and p a s s e n g e r s taking part in this year's R A C L o n d o n to B r i g h t o n R u n for veteran c a r s . T h o u s a n d s of spectators were out early o n S u n d a y m o r n i n g to see the 282 starters set off from Serpentine R o w in L o n d o n ' s H y d e Park at the start of the 53-mile run to Brighton's seafront.
to
part
the a
rode
way
party
Brighton in
the
to
from but
Rally
After took
lunch
over
wheel ending
the
with with
the a
the
Guildsmen
dodgems day dip
and
big
traditionally in
the
sea.
of the pros and cons. 1) I f s o m e f o r m o f r a d i o communication between private citizens was legalised, it would not only be fun, but useful. 2) T h e operation of imported 2 7 M H z CB equipment causes gross interference to the legal users of not only the 2 7 M H z b a n d , but to m a n y services I outside it, e.g. aircraft landing systems, etc (see Government discussion document ' O p e n Channel*). 3) Channel 16 is not the only one causing trouble. 4) R a d i o Amateurs do not particularly want " t o dominate the airwaves". We haven't got all that m u c h f r e q u e n c y s p a c e anyway, considering the number of people in the world who use it. 5) For simple, friendly local contacts, 2m F M should suit the C B e r s perfectly. A suitable license is very easy to obtain. 6) Police do not automatically turn a blind eye to C B operation. If anyone is really interested in radio communication and would like to get i n v o l v e d without c r a s h i n g aeroplanes or o l d people's alarms, I would invite them to come along one Wednesday afternoon to H A M S O C ' s little abode in the Union Building.
1
Dear Sir
It is always difficult to defend any illegal activity — anyone who feels s l i g h t l y affronted immediately has a very big stick to beat you with. C B is illegal, and will remain so for a while yet, a n d I f u l l y realise the implications of its use. However, I am sure I am not alone in thinking of 'he benefits a legal C B would bring to the country as it has in many other countries. M y personal use of any equipment is my look-out, as I can, indeed, be prosecuted — just in the same manner as I can be done for speeding. M y original intention was, and still is, to form a social club of people interested in C B radio to apply pressure for its legalisation on 2 7 M H z as soon as possible, r a t h e r than p r o m o t e i l l e g a l a c t i v i t y , w h i c h is u p to the individual. I have said all I want to sayabout the technical side ( F E L I X 5 6 4 ) and shall conclude this letter by s a y i n g that i f a n y o n e is interested they can put a letter in the Meeh E n g letter-racks — under F \ T h i s is the Ferret going 10-8, 10-10. T h e Ferret (Esq) l
Real name and address supplied. Dear Sir
I h a v e been f o l l o w i n g the correspondence on C B with some interest, a n d h a v i n g s t r o n g feelings on the matter actually wrote a letter on the subject last week. As this would have required a 99-page F E L I X supplement, it was not printed, and so I would like, having squeezed as much venom and contempt out of them as possible, to present the main points here, in the hope that they constitute a reasonable summary ,
Page 2
Tours faithfully
J Savage Physics 3 G8RRD Dear Sir
tion from British Caledonian anu air fares on national routes have fallen, making prices compare favourably with corresponding train fares. This Government has also given private coach operators the chance to compete with the National Bus Company. 'InterC i t y ' coach prices have been r e d u c e d , d e m o n s t r a t i n g that faith in private enterprise does not go unrewarded at least not for you or me — the consumer. Matthew then goes on to say t h a t S i r K e i t h J o s e p h was inhumane to suggest 'that people should accept lower wages to get jobs'. Now an employee is unlikely to move to a lower paid job. Maybe Sir Keith meant that an unemployed person should accept lower wages to get a job. But an unemployed person receives no wage so, that doesn't hold. T h e implication must therefore be that a n u n e m p l o y e d person should expect to receive a lower wage than had previously been anticipated. This might be good advice to those who read or hear about how wage 'claims' 'could' result in . . . etc. Expectations are b o u n d to be raised by such reporting and by the exaggerated talk of associates. If someone unemployed pays heed to Sir Keith's advice then his words will have borne fruit indeed. Because there is, as I hope Matthew is well aware, more to a job than financial reward.
I
was not aware
indeed, so.
of
it s h o u l d
this,
and
not have
been
Snooker C l u b have their o w n
room,
c a n book
a
a n y . other
club,
and
and
it is n e x t
door
w a s not used a long
3)
at
like
certainly
n o right to the r o o m
have
because
tor
committee
for a n official m e e t i n g
room
simply
to theirs
lunchtimes
time.
H e
gives
the
arguments
u s e d i n t h e past a n d states that h e "was last
given year
as
impression
the C l u b
be getting
probably year".
a distinct
that
would,
a table
this
I ' m afraid he was misled,
last
year's
control
what
Finance after
officers this
cannot
year's
Committee
Union
will
decide
d u e consideration
o f the
circumstances. 4)
Committee
are not
friends' (very
witty!),
House
my
'bosom
the
a r e elected,
members
from
Council,
student
b o d y , i.e..a n ym e m b e r o f
S n o o k e r C l u b (or I C W A matter)
could
committee's rid
have
done
toilets
" A
I ' m sure
better,
If the
it c o u l d
i.e. t h e ladies'
conform
relevant
for that
stood.
i n t e n t i o n w a s to get
of I C W A ,
have
two
a n d two from the
to the
exactly
clause
in the
By-laws:
p o r t i o n o fthe U n i o n B u i l d i n g s
s h a l l b e set a s i d e l o r t h e u s e o f t h e members
o f the Imperial
College
W o m e n ' s A s s o c i a t i o n " . I a m also sure
any of them
proposing law
the
change
5)
is c a p a b l e
appropriate
at a
Union
of
By-
U G M .
Finance
Committee
(of w h i c h I a m also the C h a i r m a n ,
I have been asked to reply to M a t t h e w H u n t b a c h ' s letter, printed in F E L I X no 565. His letter is a hot-potch of disconnected jottings that served to warn me o f how liberally afflicted with tunnel vision a student politician can become. H e writes that the Government is not 'putting much priority on profit-sharing' and 'that workers do not get any direct benefit from being competitive and thus do not have any incentive'. Traditionally firms have paid higher rates for overtime and now many are trying to introduce a productivity element into their pay seitlements. This is a type of profit-sharing and certainly p r o v i d e s a n i n c e n t i v e to be competitive. There is little more for the Government to do. It has however enhanced the value of such arrangements by reducing, at all levels, the rate of direct taxation. He goes on to say that monopolies can exist under private ownership and competition under public ownership. I agree but feel bound to point out that, in this c o u n t r y at least, the opposite is more likely to apply. W h e r e this is h a p p e n i n g the Government is aiming to allow private enterprise to compete. British Airways is facing competi-
In the final paragraph it was c l a i m e d that C o n s e r v a t i v e policies are 'designed to ensure that real power and ownership lies in the hands of a small and privileged elite' — rubbish. T h e continuing intent to sell council houses, the aim to allow private enterprise to challenge state monopolies and the desire to switch from direct to indirect taxation show that the Governm e n t is t r y i n g to g i v e t h e consumer more economic freedom, more choice a n d therefore more c o n t r o l . T h e Government still has a long way to go but it has set out in the correct direction. Tours
faithfully
i.e.
I d o not have
vote
at
either
composed C C U s , major
a
the C h a i r m e n sub-committees,
ordinary
members
elected who
by their
various
roughly
money"'
when
I would like to reply to M r T e e l o e k ' s somewhat e m o t i v e letter last week with a few points I c o n s i d e r r e l e v a n t to the situation: 1) As I have previously explained, both decisions regarding the T V L o u n g e were made during Malcolm's term of office and thus I had assumed he had informed Snooker Club. 2) H e states "for a long time now, the room has been the meeting place of Snooker C l u b " .
FELIX, November 7, 1980
bodies,
considered
responsible
"handle
again
for). A l l are
p r e s u m a b l y
them
of the
a n dtwo
(which
c a n stand
anyone
is
o f the presidents o f the
enough
£12,000 they
to
o f your
voted
for
them. 6) the
I w o u l d suggest that committee
hacks" up
calling
"self-centred
a n d " t w a t s w h oreally gel
my
nose"
persuade
is
them
not
going
to s p e n d
to
£2,750
o n S n o o k e r C l u b ' s table at M a j o r Claims
on
Tuesday.
Mark Clegg Chairman of IC Con Soe Dear Steve,
deliberative
Committee)
1 ours
sinterely
Rachel
Dear I
Mr
Snee
Marshall
a m writing o n behalf of M r
M o r t o n i n r e p l y to the letter f r o m Messrs
F'ox a n d
Morton
would
he
is c u r r e n t l y a t t e n d i n g
(British
Racegoers
Inquiry readers how with
o n will
Nobbing believe
N o b b i n g ) .
Y o u r realise
Chase future.
this
Inquiry
is
Memorial
to take place i n T h e question o f
has been
some
B R A I N
Association
the F o x - O ' B o y l e
near
M r
undoubtedly
important
Handicap the
O'Boyle.
reply himself, b u t
raised
runners
as w e
a n d riders
have been g a i n i n g u n f a i r a d v a n -
concrete e v i d e n c e y o u m a y
tage
to
by
this process
(notably
G u n n e r r i d d e n by H u r d y G u r d y ) .
support
publishing
your the
have
position.
damaging
By
state-
H o w e v e r , I digress. M r M o r t o n
m e n t i n y o u r E d i t o r i a l , y o u have
h a d no i n t e n t i o n of offending two
erre d o n points o f fact a n d of law.
such illustrious Associates o f the
And
Royal
College
Messrs
Fox
if y o u have a n y
knowledge
of Science
as
of I C U constitutional documents
O'Boyle.
Mr
at a l l , y o u w o u l d accept that the
and
O N
F R I D A Y , O c t o b e r 24,
M o r t o n believes that his sources
FELIX
o f idiosyncratic i n s p i r a t i o n are at
facts i n his E d i t o r i a l , irrespective
Newton
(Sports
least as g o o d , if not better t h a n ,
o f the i n i t i a l source o f his alleged
tionist)
was
those
mis-information.
duty by C h i e f Security
of F o x
and O'Boyle.
therefore
believes
gentlemen
would
that
He
these
E d i t o r is responsible for
It
is
un-
believable that a n E d i t o r s h o u l d
Mr
Centre
suspended
Reeves.
Last
Thursday,
c l a i m he is not responsible for a
disciplinary
committee
statement he wrote a n d p u b l i s h e d !
discuss
Newton's
such
Any
ment.
an
event
demand
that
by
and
the
their
if he
com-
The
committee
to a l l o w M r
premature.
have a p o l o g i s e d to M a r y by now.
his
event,
Fox
and
will be u p to y o u r o w n i d i o s y n c r a t i c standards a n d a n
apology
for
will
your
Editor,
m i t t e d the b l u n d e r at a l l , w o u l d
O ' B o y l e . M r M o r t o n is c e r t a i n it
using
decent
is b o t h
for a n a p o l o g y
unwarranted Judge
and
Mr
names
be
issued if it is not.
Since
you
have
so
far
proved yourself sufficiently conversant
prin-
w i t h the basic
recieved
j o u r n a l i s m , one s h o u l d not
ing
take
attempt
to
his
from
w h i c h often
tone of the letter from F o x a n d
it
arities
O ' B o y l e w i l l not prevent entries
who
f l o o d i n g in for the race. W e
actionable
show how
well we c a n
will
manage
is
astonishing has
published Editorials
} ours
sincerely
Rock
Minton
H e a d L a d to M r M o r t o n ' s Stable
someone numerous and
Director
in
did
'foreign'
College
at
the
approve
publication in
in the
of
a
being
the
College.
The
the
R.C.M.
Stu-
in
dents A s s o c i a t i o n a g r e e d to keep
and state,
resulted i n i r r e g u l till
not
left but
President
concern-
language,
were
hall,
be
R.C.M.
had
verbal
inebriated
his
entrance
to
the
sports
centre.
all
of
copies
where
in his office
by students. was
from
they c o u l d be p i c k e d u p
not
Inevitably,
very
high,
has
decided
President
demand and
the
that
in
future he w i l l o n l y collect 20 30
each
or
week.
lead
stories s h o u l d ^ h i n t o f l i t i g a t i o n . People who
without them!
that
copies
submit
warnings
abusive
perpetually
d a b b l e in matters o f law. I n d e e d
M r M o r t o n hopes the d o u b t i n g
Originally
circulated
two
longer
to
decided
M r Newton
no
around
the
to
is
distributed
employ-
writing and numerous cautions
y o u r latest
sat
F E L I X
a
resignation.
ciples a n d p r a c t i c e o f responsible seriously
Newton
I n the past,
not
from
Officer,
to
proud
Ken
Recep-
have their n a m e s associated w i t h
be
RCM Director snubs FEUX
Last Orders for Ken
live in glass houses
are better advised not to
Which
throw
stones recklessly.
is
Witch?
If y o u w a n t to debate the issue further
—
I've
no
time
for
trivalities — y o u c a n take m e u p o n the pages o f F E L I X or o n the lloor of the U G M . I shall a c c e p t , p r o v i d e d there is a guarantee o f e q u a l w r i t i n g space or s p e a k i n g time lor e a c h side, w i t h neither c h e a t i n g . F o r one side to mis-use office
by
publishing
his
views
w h i l e p r e v e n t i n g the r e p l y o f the other
from
cowardly,
being
printed
unacceptable
is
and
unconsitutional. Dare Afolabi Mech
Eng PG
Ed's Comment For
two
weeks
in
( F E L I X 565 a n d 566),
a
row
y o u have
published in your E d i t o r i a l s u n t r u e a n d a c t i o n a b l e statements about
me,
presented
as
if they
were facts a n d m i x e d w i t h y o u r characteristic ' p r e s u m a b l y ' s hearsays.
While
my
to
time
presumptions, necessary 'facts'
it is not
comment to
and
and
worth
on
your
it is a b s o l u t e l y challenge
set
the
your
records
straight. O n 2 1 / 1 0 / 8 0 , I received a call from I C U H o n Sec ( E L i n d s a y ) a s k i n g w h o w o u l d be
seconding
m y m o t i o n at the U G M . In the discussion that followed (over the phone
a n d in the U n i o n
Office
less t h a n five m inut es later), I d i d N O T say, or give the i m p r e s s i o n , that
Mary
Attenborough
had
backed out' of anything. T h e r e was a witness present. I therefore challenge
y o u to
substantiate
y o u r aspersion that the c o n t r a r y is true. Mary
herself savs she d i d not
' b a c k o u t ' . Y o u h a v e a l l e g e d in print'that onus
she d i d . T h e r e f o r e , the
is o n y o u
to p r o d u c e
any
Dear Dennis,, I regard y o u as a compulsive liar of the most detestable kind. O n the last day for accepting motions, L i z L i n d s a y received a call from you in w h i c h you said that although you h a d not asked M a r y A t t e n b o r o u g h " y o u felt sure she w o u l d agree to second the m o t i o n " . L i z tried to phone M a r y , but was unable to contact her. Just before the closing deadline you rang back and w i t h d r e w M a r y a n d suggested someone called F e r n a n d o . I resent your letter a n d all of y o u r other letters, and I don't like the way you have treated M a r y in this matter; I think you owe her an apology. I too have no time for trivialities a n d hence I have no wish to discuss the m a t t e r (whatever it is!) a n y further. Y O L J elected me to Office a n d YOU have the power to remove me, why don't you exercise your rights? I regard you as a crackpot a n d will tolerate you no longer. Y o u may consider your right of reply in print to this comment unacceptable and unconstitutionally w i t h d r a w n in a cowardly m a n n e r if vou like.
-Dancing to the 'Monster Mash' at this year's Halloween PartyPerennial favourite of ghoul and disco freak alike, the Halloween Party was again crowded with merry-makers. Tony West's Acme Disco kept things moving, and the witching hour passed without the bat of an eyelid (or the eyelid of a bat?). See you at next year's reincarnation.
Size 20 Soars
Rae out for the count IN
M A N Y
A
Guildsman
gathered
in Beit Q u a d o n W e d n e s d a y celebrate Fawkes'
the f a i l u r e of
375
Despite
years
to
Guy
conducive
to p e r m a f r o s t the c r o w d witnesse d q u i t e a few a n d abetted
fireworks,
collected the
aided
by a G u i l d s barbe-
evening
culminated
the l a u n c h i n g o f ' T h e
from
Union
to
buy
count
of
lOp
the
Rae
in
machines
Lounge,
Monster',
will
Snee
present job
the pieces
the
cost
has d e c i d e d about
pointed
it
takes
twelve
out
The ,ÂŁ200.
that
Union
hours
w h i c h , w i t h the
in
Union
a special m a c h i n e .
machine
about
que. The
T O
quantities
Finance Committee
ago.
conditions
O R D E R
large
to
at
staff
do
help of
the the
m a c h i n e , she w i l l n o w d o a l l by
Skyrocket with chain
herself.
F o r this rea so n
Rae
o f stars-red to g r e e n . ' , as m a n u -
believes
this to be a v e r y
cost-
factured
effective
a ' S i z e 20
F E L I X , November 7,
1980
by
Standard.
purchase.
Page 3
Last Week's Competition
IC Radio There's a new half hour Droqramme on IC Radio from this Friday evening. Going by the name of "Don't Touch That D i a l " , it's a collection of music, interviews and features that you won't hear anywhere else — definitely! A team of eaoer young radio journalists from the London College of Printing are putting the programme together, and they'll welcome your views and comments on how you'll like the show. Tune in at 8 o'clock for an earful The first programme includes a feature on Kinky Friedman the first Jewish country and western star, a report on cannabis growing in France with the Government's blessing, and hints on how to cut a dash this winter in the latest urban guerrilla outfits.
Thanks for the flood of entries to the "What I would do with £500 of Union money if John Passmore had not got to it before I could" essay competition. After sifting through all of the entries I have finally decided on the following two joint winners; prize £2.50 each. - Ed. Dear Steve What would I do if I had got my hands on the £500 of U n i o n m o n e y before J o h n Passmore? Well. I would have bought a new set o f s h i r t s a n d s t a r t e d r u n n i n g a s e c o n d rugby team. Then I would be able to give a game.to all the ex-Gaelic footballers who now want to play rugby because they have realised that, however well John Passmore organises a team, there are no pitches, referees or opposition within 300 miles of London. Yours Tim Latham Captain R C S Rugby Club
PG Football A l t h o u g h a p o s t g r a d football t o u r n a m e n t would, by necessity have to played outside of a bed, we don't really expect the standard to be very high, the point is that people enjoy playing. Many postgrads have difficulty in getting away during the afternoon so that an indoor five-a-side competition may be most feasible for this term; in addition there are a number of eleven-aside teams who would welcome offers of games. A l l this requires organisation, so as a start maybe interested individuals could come along to our meeting oh Monday, November 10 at one o'clock in the Senior C o m m o n Room (in the Union Building) where hopefully we can get some idea of t h e n u m b e r s i n v o l v e d , a n d t h e k i n d of arrangements which would suit people best; anyone who is interested but has an aversion to meetings should leave a note for me, care of C h e m Eng. Marcus
Karolewski
RCSA Careers The R C S A is organising a Careers Brains Trust on Thursday, November 20 at 6:30pm in the J C R Sherfield. This is an informal evening with free refreshments. The event aims to give final-year students an opportunity to talk with old students about jobs, careers and prospects in the outside world. Representatives will be present from a wide range of occupations and at many levels; from industry, schools, commerce and government, and in management, research, sales, finance, etc. This should be very informative even if you already know what you want to do next year.
flunt fteidre Visits friends Episode O n e
At the railway station the 10:30p.m. express from Southend was late. The porters weeded the flowerbed — it had not been done for some while. A passenger sat conspicuously alone. " H o w do you print tickets?" asked Aunt Deidre at the appropriate office. "With a machine," replied the belligerent officer. Far from being put off, Aunt Deidre continued with her enquiries, but the clerk turned disinterestedly away.
Pa<Jk4
FELIX, November 7,
1980
In Memoriam, £500 of Union Money S o fare* sll t h e n , £500, of U n i o n m o n e y , A s u m trivial W h e n c o m p a r e d to Far L a r g e r sums spent o n J C R refarnishing M y friend K e i t h Says House Committee Decided N o t to F u r n i s h the J C R A l l at o n c e B u t it W a s d o n e anyway D e m o c r a c y is a Wonderful Thing. P e r h a p s the M o s t democratic U s e of U n i o n m o n e y W o u l d be T h e one t a k e n advantage of B y most I C students, Maybe Providing more T V s F o r S o u t h s i d e residents O r even A tedious J C R b o o z e up. M y friend K e i t h ' s m u m Suggests that we E r e c t a gibbet In Beit Q u a d And hang Errant U n i o n Officers. A n y suggestions F o r first up? E Jarvis — O n l y (23)
Work in Shell covers II areas of activity. Mechanical Engineers make an important contribution in all of them.
A n u m b e r of people, i n c l u d i n g some Undergraduates, have the idea that an o i l company can offer little scope to M e c h a n i c a l Engineers. Yet, as far as S h e l l is concerned, nothing could be further from the truth. Y o u w i l l find the wide range o f work o f many M e c h a n i c a l Engineers described i n our booklet 'Opportunities for Graduates, 1981', and this should come as no surprise i f y o u think about the technical scope o f our activities. Spread more widely across the w o r l d o f S h e l l than probably any other group of professionals, we have a good few h u n d r e d M e c h a n i c a l Engineers w i t h virtually u n l i m i t e d scope to move into any sphere, and there are scarcely any activities equivalent to the 'shop floor'.
Early management involvement R i g h t from your early months you w i l l be involved i n the management o f engineering projects, for w i t h S h e l l y o u are emphatically not someone who just solves problems on paper. P l a n n i n g and co-ordinating programmes and negotiating w i t h contractors w i l l all be part o f your task, w o r k i n g i n small teams. W e shall expect you to do your p r o b l e m - s o l v i n g i n a context o f great autonomy, while you are quite likely to find yourself having to work out your o w n technology. A n d you are certain to meet h u m a n problems as well as mechanical ones. M o s t people seem to like it that way.
Opportunities to acquire new skills Whatever your engineering interest at U n i v e r s i t y , Shell can offer an enormous variety of possibilities, particularly as we diversify our w o r l d w i d e business. T h e training and scope for career development, i n c l u d i n g senior management opportunities, match the wealth o f experience we provide so that w i t h S h e l l you can be qualified for any field. A n d you w i l l be encouraged to acquire Chartered En gin eer status i n your early years, doing professional work that satisfies the Institution's requirements. W e believe i n g r o w i n g b u r o w n leaders and i n m a k i n g the fullest use o f the best brains around. I f you're among the best o f Undergraduates, and particularly i f you're i n your final year, y o u c o u l d well find it worthwhile considering S h e l l at least to the point o f looking at our 1981 booklet now at your Careers Service. W e ' l l be meeting students early i n the N e w Year, telling them how they can put their qualifications to rewarding use. O r get i n touch w i t h A n n Simons, Recruitment D i v i s i o n (F5) P N E E / 2 4 , S h e l l International Petroleum Company L i m i t e d , Shell Centre, L o n d o n S E i 7 N A . Telephone: 01-934 2947.
FELIX, November 7, 1980
Page 5
WEDNESDAY 12th Nov
BEER FESTIVAL
THURSDAY 13th Nov
EXEC TORTURE
ICR
Chaps
Club
RAGARAMA Beit
RCS
Quad
L u n c h ) ime
Union
Lower
MONDAY 17th Nov
Lounge
7:30pm
L'nion Concert
SMOKING C O N C E R T
PRAM RACE
Beit
Quad
Lunchtime
Folk C l u b
Conceri
Union
Refectory
Hall
7:30pm i
* all girl
800pm
80p
Schoolgirls
fbursday I3tb !~fToocmber d 730 in the « Union Concert '%kek £1 Rag & Drag Disco (
ggtf
FRIDAY 14th Nov
F L O A T BUILDING
SATURDAY 15th Nov
R A G PROCESSION •fc
see y o u r
RAG
ecu
DISCO
C C U Oilices
TUESDAY 18th Nov
Inter-CCU
Fri Nov
& DRAG
SCAB NIGHT
12:30pm
A L L STARS RUGBY
Beit
Offices Arch
12:30pm
Lunchtime
Quad
Men
Mines
JCR
DIRTY DISCO
8:00pm
Inter-CCU
WEDNESDAY 19th Nov
14 J C R 8:00pm
M O R P H Y DAY
CCU
Offices
DRINK U L U DRY
Malet
St
M O R P H Y DAYtheshithttsthefan
„ Quildt' 8aftitil
Union Concert Hall
SBooe at $sirst Site
MODETTES +4 O T H E R B A N D S
F R I D A Y 21st N o v UNION BUILDING 7:30pm
2 FILMS Bar until 4:00am
T H U R S D A Y 20th N o v M e c h Eng 220 6:30pm I'nion
£3.00
50p
Bat
7:00pm
FOX/O'BOYLE MEMORIAL HANDICAP CHASE
ULU,
12:30 p m
7:30pm
BAR NIGHT
10:00am CCU
Beit
PAPER DARTS
and Dirty Old
BOAT RACE
starring G O D A N D S U P P O R T with S M O K E S T A K and B L U E M A X featuring T H E H O U N D O F T H E BASKERVILLES plus special entertainment, an EROTIC INFERNO Saturday, November 15, 7:30pm Tickets from IC Union Office. RAFT RACE
Aerosoc and
band
Tuesday 18th Nov 8:00pm JCR tickets 50p from C C U offices
Union Lower Refectory Monday 17th Nov.
SUNDAY 16th Nov
Lower
8:00pm
BOB P E G G
THURSDAY 20th Nov
DWILE F L O N K I N G
Beit
Quad
RAG
FILMS
M e c h E n g 220 (USOpm
Ltinrhtime
alter B a r N i g h t
FRIDAY 21st Nov
DISGUSTING G A M E S
Beit
Quad
Lunch) ime
GUILDS C A R N I V A L
L'nion Building 7:30pm
GO BACK HOME T h i s article is written to reveal s o m e of the difficult situations t h a t o v e r s e a s s t u d e n t s , g r a d u a t e s in p a r t i c u l a r , a r e n o w f a c i n g u n d e r the p r e s e n t s y s t e m . A l t h o u g h my own e x p e r i e n c e is b e i n g referred to, s o m e points like h i g h tuition fee s a n d the work p e r m i t s are relevant to m o s t o v e r s e a s students. I came
to
Britain
four
years
that it was likely to be e x t r e m e l y
ago fro m H o n g K o n g (a British
difficult
c o l o n y ) . A s I was b o r n i n H o n g Kong
I h a v e a British
^i.e.
British
permit.
passport
nationality)
but
as
therefore
an
to
I am
overseas
I
Imperial
chemical
College
my
I
I
A
have
a
one
lot,
not
o n l y a c a d e m i c a l l y , these f o u r years.
I like this c o u n t r y a n d I
h a v e m a d e a lot o f friends. I feel by most o f the
accepted I
have
met,
sett'"
in
final
people
so I t h i n k I c o u l d
this c o u n t r y .
year,
I
decided
In
to
my
settle
d o w n here a n d m a k e a c a r e e r i n chemical only
engineering.
because
there
opportunities engineer Kong, more and
is
a
from
chemical
than
both
joined
in
Hong
my
education
background.
the
milkround
and
l o o k e d for a s u i t a b l e j o b . some
not
more
hut I c a n also c o n t r i b u t e
cultural
I
for
here
It are
consideration,
I
After
chose
list o f n i n e c o m p a n i e s ,
in g e t t i n g a j o b , have
a
order
to
be
employer
who
employing like
myself
Home
would
not
in
able
to
get
d o w n b y a n o t h e r two c o m p a n i e s ' after
first
interviews
probably
seven
invitations from
panies
five
(some o f these c o m -
companies
have
subsidiaries
divisions) so, interviews
the
'was
first r o u n d of
successful
given
work
issue
was
c e r t a i n l y t a k e n into a c c o u n t
by
has
to
advertise
other
the
job
employment:
one
from
oil
and
I then
an
chemical
made
up
my
to
prepare
for
the
application of m y work permit. I remained
in
London
after
the
the H o m e O f f i c e t u r n e d d o w n m y application.
The
company
I
got
a
and
that
week
in
touch
again the
with
and
the
I
was
disappointed company,
to
after
of c a r e f u l c o n s i d e r a t i o n
w o u l d not a p p e a l o n m y the
chance
of
behalf success
d o n o t h i n g but to w i t h d r a w the offer
of
employment.
I just d o n ' t u n d e r s t a n d w h y I should
not
be
allowed
to
take
I
have
a n d s h o w that he has n o suitable
up
candidate from
h a d f o u r years o f g o o d e d u c a t i o n .
other. E E C I was
Page 8
this c o u n t r y o r
country.
warned
many
the j o b
here
when
T h e r e are e m p l o y e r s l o o k i n g for times
O f f i c e d e c i s i o n , I c a m e b a c k to College
and
tried
to
obtain
further degree;
by
this
limited
m y degree was k n o w n — a v e r y good I
second ran
because S R C
into
difficulty
I am
grant
again
not e l i g i b l e for a and
my
fa m i l y
to
pay
as the t u i t i o n fees as I
m y s el f to those
projects
courses w h i c h h a v e
money
I could
find
something
interesting a n d be sponsored do
to
it. H o w e v e r , there are m a n y sellstudents,
both
post- •
undergraduate,
w h o c a n n o t afford the h i g h fees. It
upper.
1980/1
a t t a c h e d to t h e m . I a m grateful
a
time,
Scheme.
the
I h a d o n l y need
£l,105pa, and
Support for
means
students
that who
many
are
capable
interested
doing
research a n d
being
cated
are losing their
in
edu-
oppor-
( T u i t i o n fees for o v e r for session
198071,
l i v i n g expenses
good
graduates,
there
are
the
as
is r e c o m m e n d e d
L o n d o n Conference
the
British
Council.)
on It
view,
it
may
mean
a
sub-
stantial decrease in the intake o f overseas students. C u r r e n t l y 46% of
postgraduate
Imperial
College
students came
at
from
overseas. C a n the C o l l e g e afford losing h a l f o f this 46% o f overseas students?
oil
o f effort was t h e n p u t i n by the company
in
Britain a n d other E E C countries
Home
with
was e x t r e m e l y s l i m . T h e y c o u l d
employer
the
O v e r s e a s S t u d e n t s in c o n s u l t a t i o n
the overseas g r a d u a t e s g e t t i n g a are
with
w h e t h e r to offer m e a j o b o r not.
because
There
Despaired
A t the e n d , I h a d three offers o f
m e , is put in just to stop most o f here.
session
that
job.
by
hear
r e g u l a t i o n s like the
a
the e m p l o y e r before they d e c i d e d
surprised
job
taking up
a m i n i m u m sum of £2,700pa
This
we h a d the right to a p p e a l against
T h i s r u l e , to
from
are £ 3 , 0 0 0 p a
discussed.
that
be over the age of 23.
prevented
p e r m i t issue was i n e v i t a b l y raised
by
w o r k e r o f the w o r k p e r m i t must
British
and
i n f o r m e d me o f the result a n d that
overseas
a
that
t h r o w n out o f w o r k
Fees
Practically
fees
a
Overseas
of
new legislation c a m e in m e a n i n g applicant
mean
Student
get
f r o m the
seas students at I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e
the
company
the
or
not
remission
salary. I was to
expenses
although
a
a
company.
enough
as
and
o f interviews was also r e a s o n a b l y
get
1979,
most
the
give h i m £ 5 , 5 0 0 p a fortunate
might
successful
the H o m e O f f i c e d e c i s i o n . A week
In
of
as he
the student
tunities. F r o m the C o l l e g e point
later,
permit.
one
an
£5,700
c a n n o t afford m y fees a n d l i v i n g
the H o m e O f f i c e . I n the past, it work
is
ask
m y p r o b l e m . T h e second r o u n d
was difficult b u t still possible to a
m o r e t h a n they need a n d m a n -
and
b a d news c a m e i n e a r l y j u l y w h e n
list o f r e g u l a t i o n s l a i d d o w n
absorb
degree,
employ
graduate and
the
w o r k e r has to at least satisfy
can certainly
of
large
well
a
behalf of
overseas
some
further
p r o b l e m . Nevertheless, I r e c e i v e d
o u t c o m e o f the a p p l i c a t i o n . T h e
the
shortage
to
a year to s u p p o r t a student for a
sponsored
the
However,
no
engineers,
difficult
s c h o l a r s h i p or sponsorship to d o
to
work
were
be
i n d u s t r i a l sponsor to p a y
also because o f the w o r k p e r m i t
t h i r d y e a r e x a m s to wait for the
w o r k e r for a
job
would
1
worker
apply
there
companies
m e a w o r k p e r m i t . I was t u r n e d
m i n d to j o i n the i n t e r n a t i o n a l oil
interested
on
be
because
a n d c h e m i c a l giant. A good deal
overseas
can
Office
overseas permit.
is
an
clearly-
How-
An
a
c i t i z e n was
stated
problem
employed.
if
chemical
i m p o r t a n t assets o f a
the sa me but different parts o f a n
a n d that is, I
people
b u t not a l l o w e d to take it. E v e n
A
a l l of
to h a v e a w o r k p e r m i t i n
there are
m y s el f b e i n g offered
power
c o m p a n y a n d the o t h e r two f r o m
contractors.
and
find their
did
companies
company.
I encountered
like
not for
these
ical
engineering
vacancies
could
to
a
or chemical
candidates
give m e a first i n t e r v i e w . O n e o f
international
ever,
work
who
T h e fact that I was offered a j o b
t h e m were o i l c o m p a n i e s , c h e m manufacturers
a
I went
ployers suitable
couple of companies d i d n ' t even
they
I
in
this,
in the letter that it was
do
alter
levels
learnt
came to
engineering
finished year.
classified
student.
obtain
the first r o u n d o f interviews.
a m a B r i t i s h subject, not a British citrjn:
to
Despite
Mark Wong outlines the difficulties faced by overseas IC graduates when applying for a job in this country.
em-
Small Ads • C o o k e r , 1 ring electric cooker with grill. Perfect for preparing all your meals. £22 or best offer. Ring Beth on int 3477 (days) or 3673 (evenings). • S u z u k i T S 250trail bike, 1976, tax and MOT, light, yet fast in traffic, £325. Contact Dave Green, E E letter-racks or 969-0927. • H o n d a 250, R reg, k10 months T&T, £290ono. Liam Spring, Physics 2 letterracks. •1973 Ford Escort, fair condition, new exhaust, tyres, brakes, radio spares, reliable runner, £500ono. Contact Andy Thickpenny, R S M Room 201 or telephone 2682. • T e x a s T158 calculator, very good condition, £50ono. Please contact Gary Smith, Civ Eng 1 letter-racks. •Envelopes and brown paper: we have a surplus of used envelopes and brown paper. If you would like some, come to the enquiry desk of the Life Sciences Library (level 4, Lyon Playfair Library). •Wanted for Dramsoc production: one large nude lady. Apply Dramsoc Storeroom. •Wanted: reliable person to collect young child from school. Approx 4:305:15, sometimes less, but same rate would be paid. T o start in January. Rates are negotiable. Ring 995-6480 after 6:00pm. •Cleaners needed for the Summer A c commodation Centre from December 15-18. £1.30 per hour. Please apply to the S A C Office, Southside or Room 170, Sherfield Building. • A n y spare furniture, give to me — Simon Shaw, Guilds Office.
FELIX, November 7, 1980
•Lost: an original French beret with great sentimental value. Misplaced in College on Wednesday afternoon. Reward for its recovery. Contact Mark Clegg, Mech Eng 2. • G o d will be appearing on November 15. Plenty of S C A B S . •India Soc Cheese and Wine Party is on Wednesday, November12at8:00pm, in the Bot/Zoo Common Room. • J u s t started: Swimming training sessions from 6:30pm to 7:30pm on Friday nights. All welcome. •Hurry, the last day for submission of articles for the Micro Club Newsletter is November 29. So if you have anything you want included, let me have it as soon as possible. Benny Notarianni, Physics 2. •Archery: Anyone interested in forming an Archery Club, there is a meeting on Tuesday, November 11 at 12:45pm in the Green Committee Room. If you are unable to attend, but are interested, contact Ramesh Rao, Physics 2. • I C Exploration Board: Students who may be interested in organising, or taking part in, expeditions next summer, are invited to contact the Board Chairman, Dr Schroter on int 3724 or the Secretary, Don Adlington, on int 4205 for preliminary discussion. The Board has its first meeting of the session on November 26 and ideally outline proposals should be submitted well before that date. •Smokestak, rivvum and blooze. The future of British rock and roll is in your hands. You need the music! We need an audience! Any reasonable gigs considered. Amazing bargain prices. C o n tact 'Eric' Jarvis or Martin (El Ropo) Bayliss c/o IC Radio. Buy now while stocks last.
Christian Union Hello, it's time to put pen to paper again. Sorry about not going to Windsor last week, but we are definitely going tomorrow, so please all turn up at the RSM Union Ofice at 9:30am for a little Rag collecting, Rag Mag selling and a few drinks. Hope you all enjoyed the fireworks on Wednesday, sorry about the short notice, but we did not think of doing it until last weekend. In Rag Week, there will be our annual fete, Ragorama, organised by Chaps Club, a Dirty Disco (schoolgirls and dirty old men) and an all girl band for only 50p. We need a design for a raft for the race, piles of rotting matter for Morphy Day, helpers for the float for the procession and heaps of enthusiasm to see us through the week. There will be an RSM trip to see Caligula soon. „ . . See ya. Crispin RSM UP
Science Fiction Society
This is the title of a book you should be seeing quite a lot round College next week. It's written by David Watson, and the question is addressed to the supernatural realm, where many people maintain that God exists. The book looks at whether, with mankind and the world in its present state, it is reasonable to take seriously the suggestion that God does exist. It also examines the ways that Christians claim that God has communicated with us, predominantly through Jesus Christ. If God does exist, and is interested in people, this has important consequences for us, and the book looks at how we can relate to God, and how He has made this possible, and what we should do about it.
The society's attempt to shorten the impending thirty thousand years of anarchy caused by the continuing publication of Omni proceeds apace (from the Latin " a pace" meaning " t o the peace"). This Friday, November 7, in Southside Upper Lounge, at 1:00pm (this boy knows how to build up suspense) ICSF sock will be (he's still at it) selling (wait for it) PERIHELION, the first issue of our new organ (hence the number 6 on the front), a limited edition all signed by the secretary. Yes, Perihelion 6, the magazine which does for SF criticism what Larry Niven did for Christian Barnard. We would have charged £1, but we decided not to gloss the pages, so it only costs 30p (20p for members). Perihelion 6, the magazine of which Christopher Priest said: "I You've probably guessed by now that the book in being distributed by IC Chrisian Union; we think I've got one of those already". have found in our own experience that what Coming soonish: a really triffic film from the David Watson talks about is true, and we don't California Split, man who brought you MASH, want to keep it to ourselves, so why not get hold Nashville, etc — Robert Altamn. QUINTET — of a copy? It will be on bookstalls in departments the show that really hits the ice. To keep their and the JCR during the ICCU Bookweek, next minds off the cold produced by the onset of the Monday to Friday; the cost is £1.00, but if the next ice age, five people decide to kill Paul grant is wearing thin, talk to someone nicely and Newman. As Sir Robert Mark once said: "I'm they might give you one! convinced it's a major contribution to road safety". On the subject of questions, we've also arranged a talk next Thursday, November 13 at Yours stuimming naked over coral reefs, 6:30pm in Civ Eng 207 on the subject Is Reality A spokesman for IC Science Fiction Sock Possible?
W e d n e s d a y , November
12
• I n d u s t r i a l S o c i e t y C o n f e r e n c e on The Steel Closures
Continuing the long-running saga of an ordinary student's decline into debauchery, RCS proudly present the thrills, spills, and bills of the start of Rag Week. With the Rag Procession being only a week away, tomorrow and Sunday afternoon are being given over to construction of the RCS float. Drop into the RCSU Office any time after 2:00pm both days and earn your place on the float in the procession. The excesses of Rag Week begin next Wednesday with the Beer Festival all afternoon in the JCR. If you want some sort of refuge from all this animal behaviour you can try to find it in the RCSU Office and help to produce the Broadsheet 'piss up' edition. Highlight of Thursday is undoubtedly the RCS Smoking Concert. Help/advice/sketches, etc., etc. should all go to the Ents Chairman, Dave Thompson, Physics 2. Rag and Drag is on next Friday night and tickets will be available shortly. Meanwhile I'm going away to work out some method of avoiding Exec torture. TTFN PJ
W h a t ' s
Friday,
o n
November
7
• C U T a l k : Jesus Said I am the Resurrection, 6:30pm, Music Room, 53 Princes Gate. • F r e e D i s c o , 8:00pm, Lower Lounge.
Saturday,
November
8
• I C C A G T r i p to Holly St Adventure Playground, 10:00am, Beit Arch. Transport provided.
•Wargames
November
9
C l u b M e e t i n g , 1:00pm, S C R .
Monday,
November
10
•Liberal C l u b Meeting, 12:45pm, U p p e r Lo u n g e .
• F o l k C l u b Live In The Lounge with 'Eric', Steve and others, 8:00pm, Union Lower Lounge. Free.
Tuesday,
November
11
• M O P S O C Tropical Cyclones, 1:00pm, Physics LT2. • D e p t o f H u m a n i t i e s present:
Andy
Dixon
•Wargames
C l u b M e e t i n g , 1:00pm, S C R .
• C a n o e C l u b S l i d e S h o w of 1980 summer tour to the
French Alps, 7:30pm, Union Upper Lounge.
Thursday, Sunday,
• A r c h e r y M e e t i n g , 12:45pm, Green Committee Room. Your attendance will be appreciated. • S T O I C T r a n s m i s s i o n , 1:00pm, JCR and Halls. See posters for details.
The Lord Mayor's Procession tomorrow; if you join the crowds get there early, to get a good place, and give the Guilds float a shout. Tomorrow evening is the Guilds/IF Kiddies Party. The idea is to dress up as an under 10; if you don't, there is a 25p surcharge on top of your 50p ticket, which you can get from the Guilds Office. You also need to bring a bottle. The party starts at 8:00pm in the JCR. Don't miss the U G M on Tuesday. We'll have some fun and games for you (and so might "you know-who"). Then Rag week starts on Wednesday fnuff said).
with Prof Silberston as chair, Huxley 213. The itinerary will be: 2:00— Introduction 2:15— Film, Steel (from 'Inside Business') 3:00— Sir Charles Villiers 4:00— Tea (free) 4:15— Mr Martin Upham, Research Officer ISTC on The Closures - an alternative •5:15- Delegates join work groups to debate the problems 6:00- Group leaders report back to conference on discussions 6:45- Final resolutions on closures prepared by conference 7:00- Close of conference
1. World War Two: Beyond the Fighting. 3. Deception with Dr Charles Cruickshank 1:30, Read Theatre, Sherfield Building. 2. What's New In Engineering? 3 The Conquest of Height and Distance, with G B Godfrey, 1:30pm, Pippard Theatre, Sherfield Building. • R i d i n g C l u b M e e t i n g , between 1:00pm and 2:00pm, Elec Eng room 1110. • C o n s e r v a t i v e S o c i e t y : with Teddy Taylor, 1:30pm, Maths 139. • H a w a i i a n W i n d s u r f i n g : films, talks and election of club officers, 6:30pm, Mech Eng 342. •Photosoc
S o c i a l E v e n i n g , 7:30pm, Stan's Bar. All
members and friends welcome. • M i c r o c o m p u t e r C l u b m e e t i n g , 7:30pm, Dept of Com
145.
FELIX, November 7, 1980
November
13
• E c o l o g y P a r t y , 1:00pm, Maths 340. • S T O I C T r a n s m i s s i o n , 1:00pm and 6:00pm, JCR and Halls. Featuring News-Break. • I C G l i d i n g C l u b M e e t i n g , 5:30, Aero 254 • D e p t o f H u m a n i t i e s presents
1. Film Conquest of the Waters (from 'Life on Earth'), 1:30pm, The Great Hall, Sherfield Building. 2. Lunch-hour Concert with the Jubilus String Quartet, the Music Room, 53 Princes Gate. • E N T S F i l m Foul Play, 6:30pm, Mech Eng 220, 40p. • C U , Is Reality Possible with Chris Coleman, 6:30pm, Civ Eng 207. CHILE A N D LATIN AMERICAN WEEK
November 10- 16 1980 Mon 10, 7pm: A talk by Malcolm Coad. Tues 11, 7pm: Films, Victor Jara Sings and Message from Chile. Wed 12, 7pm: Film: El Salvador, Victory or Death. Thurs 13, 7pm: Talks, Present Repression and Disappeared Persons in Chile with relatives of disappeared prisoners. Fri 14, 7pm: Poetry reading, Dance and Music. Sat 15, 7pm: Musical groups, Pueblo and Raul Valencia, Disco dancing and raffle. There are exhibitions, Latin American music and food and drinks every day during Chile and Latin American Week. IC Latin American Soc
Friday, November 7: Freshers' Party, 6:30pm, Lower Refec. Members free, non-members 50p. Thursday, November 20: Latin American Soc General Meeting, 12:30, Chem Eng Lecture Theatre 1.
Page 9
Monroe was hastily drawn into a discussion by the occupant involving at least four different excuses. He feigned interest, but in an instant deftly flicked open the wardrobe door. Imagine his surprise when a third Chinaman fell onto the floor! Subsequently the founder of the commune was fined £25 and c o u g h e d up without argument. Well done, Don! That's one in the eye for Maoism!
Boftcfama
By B.B. Wolffe Hi, I'm back! Hope you missed me. I notice that while I've been away the RCS Broadsheet mob have snatched the opportunitv to start up their Rumour, Crud, Scandal column. Well, what can I say? They seem to have a preoccupation with people who wear yellow trousers. They claim this is the latest trend. Hogwash Sir! Why, I was wearing yellow trousers when I was in nappies!
A n interesting snippet came to light the other day. It was learned that the Department of Computing owns a kosher gown for use at such occasions as Commemoration Day. We were intrigued, firstly, that there is such a thing as a kosher gown (made of synthetic fibres) and, secondly, why the D o C should want to purchase one. Normally, all gowns for Commemoration Day are borrowed from the University of London's store; however, when Professor Manny Lehman, head of D o C , insisted on a kosher gown they were a little slow on the uptake. Consequently, the D o C bought Prof Lehman the gown out of departmental money. Amazing!
A rather amusing incident occurred in dear old Weeks Hall recently. A Chinese student with an obvious concern over the scarcity of such wonderful accommodation had allowed a friend to share his humble abode. Not content with merely risking detection of the offence, he made absolutely certain that his charitable act would be revealed by moving a second bed into his room. Eagle-eyed warden, Dr Don Monroe, was quick to catch on. He swooped (hawk-like) and removed the offending item while the culprits were away. Intending to have a firm word with the chappie (and presumably to reprimand him) D r M o n r o e re-visited the room later and rapped smartly on the door. He was admitted following a series of suspicious noises from inside and was aghast to see a guest. Two pillows lay adjacent on the floor. O n asking to inspect the wardrobe, Dr
Page 10
RMk
T h e F E L I X Office has recently received a c o p y of Sphinx, the L i v e r p o o l A r t s M a g a z i n e . C o n s i d e r i n g that Sphinx was a r u n n e r - u p in the N U S / G u a r d i a n best magazine a w a r d s , it is a pity that the issue we received contains s u c h a glaring b o o - b o o . O n the b a c k is a B a r c i a y b a n k C a s h A r o u n d T h e C l o c k advert. A t the e n d it says: " Y o u ' l l find y o u r nearest B a r c i a y b a n k machine at 30 M a r k e t Hill o r 35 S i d n e y Street, C a m b r i d g e " .
Some of us sitting around in the FELIX Office had an amusing thought the other day. Heard of Trevor Phillips? Big. Trev was sabbatical I C U President in 1974/5. T h e n he was sabbatical U L U P r e s i d e n t , then he was sabbatical president of the London Students' Organisation (LSO). After that, he was a sabbatical member of the N U S Exec later to become sabbatical N U S President. Someone had the bright idea that he might actually have a year of his chemistry degree still to complete.
the / . ' ' r o - C a r i b S o c d e m a n d i n g that the library stock the following journals: Africa (60p monthly), West Africa (30p weekly), Root (75p monthly), and West Indian World (30p weekly). The thought behind this is that as thj Chinese, Turkish, Greek, Arabic, and Swedish readers have journals in the library, so should Afro-Carib Soc. M r Williams wrote back informing M r A f o l a b i that these S o c i e t i e s bought the journals themselves and the library very kindly gave them shelf space; he offered shelf space to Mr Afolabi for his journals. This was not good enough for Danny though, who wrote back asking Mr Williams to justify the Haldane's subscriptions to Punch and Gay News in preference to, for example, Root. T o quote his letter:"...we would be most obliged if you could kindly let us know the reason for taking Gay Neujs but not West Indian World, and Punch but not Root." Is this jerk for
real?
Stop Press I have just heard that Diogenes has taken his cause to the Internal Services Committee. H e is d e m a n d i n g that out of the £120 allocated to the Haldane for subscriptions, £47.40 should be devoted to his Afro-Carib journals. Punch readers unite to stamp out this verminous filth!
HoMfeat Jcfee S c o u r g e of the N a t W e s t B a n k , J o h n Whitehouse, has been complaining to the bank's student liason officer, Tom Cottrell. John's been wingeing about waiting two weeks for his service till card. T o m didn't have the heart to tell him he's been waiting three weeks for his.
Sfes Scuidwick Mr Mooney, Dietician-In-Chief (DIC for short) hits the headlines again. Victor Mooney first found fame with our "Mouldy Chickens" story, then the rotten food in Southside due to the cook-freeze abuse. Recently, a young lady was surprised to find a slug wriggling about inside a sandwich she had just purchased from the Union Lower Refectory. The person at the till tried to calm her down: "Don't make a fuss, love, just take another o n e " . Reticent at the thought of finding half a slug in her next choice, she refused and left in disgust.
THIS Dennis Afolabi chappie seems to be acting like a man who is going to die of an incurable disease within a couple of months and wants to go out with a bang. He is going out of his way to be as objectionable as possible to as many people as he can in a very short space of time. Not only is he getting up Steve Marshall's nose, he's getting up the Haldane Librarian's as well. R i c h a r d Williams (the L i b r a r i a n ) has recieved a letter from Mr Afolabi on behalf of
FELIX, November 7, 1980
After she had gone, the person at the cash desk deftly removed the slug, rearranged the tomatoes and lettuce and subtly, replaced the offending sandwich. Just think, Y O U may have eaten that sarnie, nice thought, huh! I don't want to cast aspersions, but just how many of Mooney's sandwich makers roll bogies mid sandwich or don't wash their hands after going to the toilet? In my time at College I've found one hairpin, five hairs (and dandruff), 27 assorted pieces of plastic, one cockroach leg, three pairs of false teeth, a nail file, two big toe nails, one false eyeball, an Irish 5p, a 3amp fuse, a ball point pen refill, a cabbage white pupa, a false eyelash, a contact lens, a golf tee, and a small piece of paper with the word B O A Z written on it. Is this a record?
Compiled by Phil Webb, Sports Editor.
Wednesday, Oct 29 Rugby 1st
Rugby
X V
C & G
lsts
C & G
2nds
V
V i n e St Police
V V
Q M C
lsts
8-29
2nd
Q M C
2nds
18-4
RCS
4-6
Football IC
1st
IC 2nd
XI XI
1st
XI
1st
XV X V
V V V
Cheshunt 1 Cheshunt 2
3-67 0-68
BP
29-8
V
LSE
7-3
V V V
O M T
2-2
Football V V
Bedford
0-0
IC
Bedford
4-2
Hockey
Hockey Guilds
Saturday, Nov 1
IC
V V
Royal
Holloway
Goldsmiths
7
XI
1st
8-1
IC 2nd
7-0
Ladies
RSM Football AFTER a great start by RCV (they won the toss) the game kicked off, under the direction of the ref, new to the game. Inspired by this RSM started to play some decent football and bar a few misunderstandings between the ref and the laws, RSM managed to score the first goal, well taken by T Hanker. This brought RCV (and the ref) to action and for a while RSM defended well though not well enough since R C V scored to make the goal tally equal. With the ref now venturing from the centre circle both teams were spurred on to even g r e a t e r efforts by this s h o w of confidence, and soon after RSM got another goal, this time from James W.
Football Seconds TWO B E D F O R D goals mid-way through the second half made IC fight to win a match which should have been won easily. IC dominated the first half, without creating many clear cut chances and at half-time the score was 0-0. Soon after the break, however, Clarke shot fiercely from a narrow angle to give IC the lead. The team began to play with confidence and went further ahead when Veenman slotted his shot past the approaching keeper. Two well taken Bedford goals, drew the score level at 2-2. With the possibility of a draw against such mediocre opposition, IC stepped up the effort once more and regained the lead when Carr heapfe'd a lose ball over a stranded keeper. IC finally finished off the opposition when a shot from Niccolls entered the net. T E A M : Veats, Curran, Beer, Armstrong, MacDonald, Griffiths, Carr, Niccolls, Veenman, Clarke, Saunders.
Guilds Hockey A F T E R a w e l l - c o n t e s t e d start in wh ic h Goldsmiths looked a competent team, Forbes opened the scoring with rather a limp shot. In minutes, Guilds were two up with a short c o r n e r put away by A n d y L i l e s . G u i l d s pressed forward and were rewarded by a somewhat dubious goal from Gray. Goldsmiths lost a man at half-time and Guilds controlled the game for the rest of the match, with Andy Liles completing his hat-trick from short corners. Andy Garms and Chris Liles also netted in neat solo efforts. Guilds missed a lot of chances but overall it was a good team effort. T E A M : Hancox, Shaw, Rao, Black, Eldridge, Liles A, Forbes, Garms, Gray, Liles C. Driver and ref, Webb P.
XI XI
Alex Royal
Howden
13-0
Holloway
0-10
RCS Rugby SINCE so many people want to play in our one team, it was decided to play a Saturday match for those people who weren't regulars. A team of 12 eventually took the field against an ageing 14-man BP team. Phil Morgans and Ian Mawer proved to be too fast for the opposition backs, and were rewarded with three and one tries r e s p e c t i v e l y . Morgans proved as elusive in the bar as he was on the field, and avoided buying a hattrick jug. Dave Fenton scored his first (and p r o b a b l y last) try of the s e a s o n , three conversions and a penalty were kicked by S k i p p e r L a t h a m . C h r i s B o y d made his presence felt in the back row, and was not responsible for either of the two tries scored against us. We spent a pleasant hour in the clubhouse after the match, and my thanks to those heroes who turned out: Edwards, Curnock, O'Doherty, Pilgrim, Morgans, Mawer, Latham, Pearce, Fenton, Ellwitt and two Smiths.
Football Sevenths T H E NEWLY FORMED IC VII team slammed seven goals past L S E Vths in a 7-3 victory. The team quickly began to perform as a well c o o r d i n a t e d unit, putting L S E under pressure. IC went two nil up with fine goals from Bartolomasi and Martin. At this stage LSE staged a comeback, and as IC relaxed they scored three quick goals to lead 3-2 at half-time, having forced Rijnbeek into making to fine saves. As the second half wore on IC gained a stranglehold on midfield, where the main battle was being fought, and were able to set up many attacks with only twenty minutes remaining Caseau levelled with a header. Then Milner put IC 4-3 up. Further goals from Milner and centre-half Haberlin (2) ensured an emphatic win for IC. This was a good, confident display from IC VII and demostrates the high quality of football at IC this year. T E A M : Rijnbeek, Wilson (sub Bird), Maynard, Know, Haberlin, Caseau, Gaskill, Martin (sub Twyford), Milner, Bartolomasi, Coussens.
Hockey Firsts I C S T H I R D G A M E this s e a s o n in the Middlesex League turned out to be their toughest fixture so far. From the start O M T s were o b v i o u s l y determined to get a result from this game and attacked hard and fast. But for the first ten minutes IC gave as good as they got and | eventually scored through a well struck shot
FELIX, November 7,
1980
corner from Ian Crowe. Then IC made the mistake of relaxing and by half-time OMTs had been allowed control of the game and had scored twice to take the lead. Positional changes at half-time strengthened IC's midfield and saw them gradually claw their way back into the match. About fifteen minutes from the end, IC levelled the score with a perfectly executed short corner through Ian Crowe. For the last ten minutes IC really dominated the match and were unlucky several times not to score the winning goal. T E A M : Webb, Crowe, Hughes, Coatesworth, Riley, Whitaker, Clarke, Franklin, Gatley, Ayres, Rich.
Hockey Seconds T H E S E C O N D S extended their 100% record last Saturday in a hard fought match in which the IC goalkeeper was constantly kept under heavy pressure. IC had great difficulty in breaking down a well regimented Howden defence, and it was not until after thirty s e c o n d s that we m a n a g e d to o p e n the scoring. After this, despite centre forward Spanker doing his best to miss the goal, IC soon increased their lead, with Streaker scoring a stonker of a goal. The second half started much like the first, with the IC goalkeeper again being kept very busy. Full time c a m e with relief, the 13-0 scoreline telling the full story of what a hard fought battle it had been. Special mention must go to Mike Chew and Andy Garms who scored five goals each, ana to Lloyd Williams who sportingly played in goal for the opposition. T E A M : Williams, Parker, Rampton, Bird, Shaw, Chew, Garms, Rao, Streaker, Gray, Shindter, Masom.
Squash AT LAST, IC Squash Club has four good courts. We have four teams in the U L U leagues with a ladies' team hopefully joining the l a d i es ' league after C h r i s t m a s . T h e standard of all the teams is, as usual, fairly high, with the thirds making a very good start to the season. However, we have still to assess the ability of several people, so don't despair if you haven't played for a team yet. Thanks to swift J a c q u e l i n e C h a n d l e r for organising the ladies and to all the squash socialites of last Thursday. Richard Thompson IC Squash Captain
Tennis T H E RULES and groups for the winter roundrobin tournament are now on the tennis noticeboard in the Sports Centre, so get your matches arranged as quickly as possible. (If there are) any queries about either groups or the rules please contact Tony Tsoukkas, Civ Eng 3.
Snooker T H E B T E A M returned to form and beat Charing Cross 3-2. S Bennett managed to extend his unbeaten run to two frames and is confident about this week's encounter with the C team. Training for all B team members starts at 8:30am on Sunday morning. The A team just managed to win against LSE 3-2. They are now in danger of early morning training and losing their prestigious position in the snooker league. A 'Doubles Tournament' is being run within the next few weeks and entrants names are now being taken.
Page 1 1
Southside
Erratum William Cortazzi has asked me to point out that he is not IC's resident fascist as reported in last week's F E L I X . We would wish to apologise for any confusion that this may have caused.
CB Radio Thanks to the Ferret and G8RRD for their summing up letters on the C B issue. The topic was a new one to me and I now feel quite well J formed on the subject. However, the topic is now closed in the letters page.
Aunt Died re Please find enclosed a new cartoon series entirely created from next to nothing by myself (artist) and Simon Turner (writist). We hope you will find it stimulating for the rest of the year and advise you to keep your back issues to be able to appreciate it fully. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed creating it.
Security
Puzzle Corner
Survey
Last Monday morning at 4:00am, I conducted a security survey of Southside. The freedom of access to the building has been the subject of much discussion following the violent incident in Keogh last week and the rape last term. I have concluded that it is extremely easy for anyone (without a key) to gain access to Southside at the moment. The Keogh/Selkirk main door was locked just as it usually is, but the Falmouth/Tizard doors were not; efficient door-closers must be fitted to these doors. I was very surprised to see the fire escape doors at the Falmouth/Tizard end actually back on their hinges after my editorial complaint last week. I was even more surprised to see how they were locked. In the past, the two fire escape doors at each end of Southside automatically unlocked when the firebell was triggered. However, on Sunday and at the time of writing (Wednesday evening) these doors were fastened shut with a bolt attached to the inside of the door. These bolts were easily unlocked by slipping one's hand through the door slats from the outside, thus o f f e r i n g 2 4 - h o u r easy a c c e s s to Southside. Monday morning, I phoned Captain Lindley (Domestic Secretary) who was unavailable for comment. I then phoned Bob Foggon, Fire and Safety Officer who didn't like the arrangement from a safety point of view as the doors should automatically open in case of fire, and not be bolted up. Mr Reeves, Chief Security Officer, told me that all doors in College were being improved from a security point of view and the fire-bell-triggered opening of these doors was at present being improved by the Estates department, hence the temporary bolts. IN C O N C L U S I O N ; I find this whole situation totally unsatisfactory. A t the moment, the doors pose a safety and security h a z a r d to S o u t h s i d e r e s i d e n t s . W h i l e accepting maintenance is necessary, it is taking far too long for the Estates department to pull their fingers out. A n d putting a bolt on the inside which one can open from the outside seems, to me at least, a pretty poor substitute for security. It would be a simple matter to prevent access to the bolt from the outside.
By
Meanwhile, back at Primelia College, the professor of logic has lost his Occam Razor (used for splitting hairs). Being certain he has lent it to ot,e of his final year students, he asked them about it. Amble said: I borrowed it from Eager at least t\Ace, and lent it to Clumsy once. I never lent it to Bumble. Bumble said: Whenever I lent it to Amble or Clumsy (and I'm not sure that I ever did) I had just borrowed it from Eager. Clumsy said: I lent it to Bumble, Eager, and Fumble just once each. Drudge said: It passed once between each of the others and me. Eager said: I lent it to Fumble once. I'm not sure if he gave it straight back, but he never gave it to me on any other occasion. I never borrowed it from Bumble, but if I lent it to him, then I never borrowed it from the man who has it now. Fumble said: It passed between me and Bumble once. I never lent it to Amble or Clumsy. The professor drew a deep breath and s e v e r a l c o m p l i c a t e d d i a g r a m s , finally concluding that a certain number of his students could be excluded from his list of suspects. Which ones? Solutions, comments and criticisms to me c/o FEUX Office. There will be a prize of £2 for the first correct solution opened at noon on Tuesday. Last Week's Solution 10 and 11. Since Splinter could not solve the problem he'was set, there are two solutions to x + y = k for k fixed, not divisible by 5, and less than 260. 10 + l l = 14 + a = 221 is the only solution. If anyone can explain to me why there are so many values for k which are divisible by 5 (50, 65, 85, 125, 145....) but only one value which isn't, I will be most grateful. It helps to find the solution if you notice that a + b = c + d if a - c = d - b = (a+c)(a-c) = (d+b)(d-b). Lots of people assumed that "roughly the same age" meant "the difference in ages is one year". Although it isn't necessary to assume this to solve the puzzle, it does lead to the correct answer, and offered a short cut which I hadn't bargained for. Consequently several people submitted corrected entries. T i m Lawes, Maths 3, is the lucky winner, and he can collect his prize from the FELIX Office. 2
2
2
We need you If you want to come and join the happy bunch working on FELIX, don't get thinking it's too late, we always need people. We need more people who take photos and develop them. We need photos quickly which means films have to be developed and printed up almost immediately. We do, of course, pay expenses. We need people to write news stories, pasteup pages, typeset, collate on Thursday, etc., etc. You needn't have any prior experience, you'll pick at us as you go along. I would ask, though, that you bear with us; producing a paper every week is very hectic — while we want to attract and encourage staff we also have to get the paper out. We need hardened souls who can cope with deadline panics. O n Thursday night, we collate FELIX, this is usually quite sociable (shouting above the noise of the folding machine, slagging off the Union Exec, etc., etc.). Let's face it, putting together 4,000 copies of FELIX by hand is so deathly boring that we have to do something to relieve the tedium. This will undoubtedly explain the topless dancer many of you will have seen if you have passed the office on Thursday night. Join the 24-hour, nearly 7 days a week club. Join FELIX and see the sun rise!
Southside Plant Well, that was a wizard wheeze last week wasn't it? Within two hours of FELIX 'hitting the streets' the offending plant had been watered and someone had cut all the dead leaves off. Talk about 'Power of the Press'. Wow! S t o p Press: Bob Foggon has informed me (Thursday) that is likely that the firebell-triggered doors will come into operation from early next week, and the bolts will be removed. T o meet the occasion of a fire where the firebell is not triggered, a fire alarm will be' situated near the escape doors. Blood Doninq I forgot to include a blood doning ad last week. Doning took place yesterday and will be on today in the Union Dining Hall until 12:00 noon and in the afternoon from 2:00pm to 4:00pm. Thanks to . . . . Patrick, Caroline, Mark, Eric, Steve, Phil, Colin, Shanne, Dave, Chris, Doris, and her friends, B B , Ian, Maz and G o d knows who else.
Scaramouche
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
PHOTOSOC flan sale, 12:45 to 1:15pm Tues, Old Darkroom, Beit Quad. C O L O U R PRINT FILM KodacolourH Instamatic C110-20 £1.20 Kodacolour 400 Instamatic C G 110-20 1.35 Kodacolour II 35mm C 135 36 1.80 Kodacolour 400 35mm C G 135-36 2.20 C O L O U R S L I D E FILM Kodachrome K M 135 36 £3.95 Kodachrome 64 35mm KR 135 36 3.95 Extachrome 400 35mm EL 135 36 3.50 Ektachrome 160 35mm Tungsten B L A C K A N D W H I T E PRINT F I L M Word FP4 & HP5 35mm 35exp £1.30 Diord FP4 & HP5 35mm 5 metres 2.50 Kodak Tri-X 35mm 36exp 1.40 Kodak Tri-x 35mm 4.50 PAPER AND CHEMICALS
TO
ORDER.
FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB. (589 5111 ext. 1048/int. 2881) Copyright FEUX 1980. Editor: S.J. Marshall, Advertising Manager: MA. Smith. Registered at the GPO as a newspaper.