http://www.felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1981/1981_0574_A

F o u n d e d

i n 1 9 4 9

t h

T h e

N e w s p a p e r

o f I m p e r i a l

U n i o n

ETHER PAD ATTACK! A young woman was attacked last Saturday night as she walked home to her flat In Princes Gate Mews behind Southside. Her assailant, a man In his early forties, seized her from behind and held a pad soaked In ether against her face. Luckily she was able to fight off the man, who fled Into the darkness.

e e !

A n I C student, A b i d A l i Dost, a C h e m i s t r y P G , received a cut l i p on T u e s d a y e v e n i n g w h i l e e a t i n g a m e a l i n the Southside Refectory.

d h

H e h a d been e a t i n g P i z z a rice a n d salad i n the m a i n Southside D i n i n g R o o m , w h e n he c u t the inside o f his l i p o n a piece o f glass a p p r o x i m a t e l y o n e centimetre l o n g . T h e glass came from his m e a l , so he went bac k t o the serving point w i t h t w o friends.

W h e n he c o m p l a i n e d , he w a s told that a b o w l c o n t a i n i n g the salad was c h i p p e d , a n d it was t h o u g h t that the glass came from there. M r Dost was taken to the H e a l t h C e n t r e at 6:00pm for medical attention.

M r Dost t o l d F E L I X that he thought it strange that the Southside staff s h o u l d k n o w o f such a hazardous b o w l , as they c o u l d identify it i m m e d i a t e l y , but still serve from it. H e a d d e d that the w a y the m a t t e r h a d been dealt w i t h i n Southside m a d e it a p p e a r that such events were a n e v e r y d a y o c c u r a n c e.

O n r e t u r n i n g to Southside later, the offending b o w l was still b e i n g used t o serve salads f r o m , a n d it was n o t r e m o v e d , u n t i l a further c o m p l a i n t was m a d e .

W h e n F E L I X telephoned M r M o o n e y , he said that he k n e w n o t h i n g about the affair, as it h a d not been r epor ted to h i m . W h e n he was asked about the c h i p p e d salad b o w l , he r e p l i e d that it was o n l y hearsay, a n d he w o u l d not comment o n it.

No. 574

C o l l e g e

ON TUESDAY, JANUARY 20, the world did not come to an end.

The JCR was not even wrecked, which is usually inevitable after JCR parties.

The party was a fancy dress affair, the idea being that the participants should come as they would never have dared were it not for the promised holocaust.

One would think most people would never have dared to go in jeans and T-shirts bearing such varied motifs as 'RCS Union', 'Imperial College', and 'Hi, I'm boring, what's your excuse?', but they did, so one supposes that's OK. Some people did honour the spirit of the occasion as witnessed by the above photograph.

Left to right is the FELIX cow gum monitor, Steve Goulder, as Ali-Baba (it was supposed to be Ayotollah Khomeini), Editor of The Phoenix, Sean Gib/in, in a cute pair ofgfasses, Editor of FELIX, Dwight Mann, complete with nuts, and last but definitely not least, J Christ as Ken Mann (Dwight's brother), the person who writes all those silly SF Sock articles in FELIX.

T h e g i r l , w h o is the niece o f an I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e lecturer, was alking home through the churchyard of H o l y Trinity, B r o m p t o n , at 10:00pm last S a t u r d a y w h e n she noticed that a man was following her. H e followed h e r into the mews, a n d so she w a l k e d r o u n d the e n d o f the r o w o f cottages so that her alk home w o u l d not take h e r t h r o u g h the n a r r o w passage w h i c h connects the t w o parts o f the mews. S h e h a d almost reached the safety o f h e r flat w h e n the m a n a t t a c k e d , p r e s u m a b l y i n t e n d i n g to rape her.

H o l d i n g the g i r l from b e h i n d , he put his arms beneath hers a n d forced a n ether p a d against h e r m o u t h a n d nose.

F o r t u n a t e l y the g i r l was able to sink her teeth into the t h u m b of the h a n d w h i c h h e l d the p a d to her face. S h e also gave several p i e r c i n g screams w h i c h a t t r a c t e d the a t t e n t i o n of l o c a l residents i n c l u d i n g students i n Southside.

T h e area was soon s w a r m i n g w i t h police, but the m a n fled a n d avoided being caught.

F e m a l e students are r e m i n d e d of the dangers o f w a l k i n g alone in the area b e h i n d Southside at night. II a n y o n e c a n n o t a v o i d d o i n g so, they s h o u l d get i n touch w i t h R a e Snee i n the U n i o n O f f i c e w h o w i l l be h a p p y t o advise t h e m o n h i r i n g o r b u y i n g rape a l a r m s .

U G M

Q U A N D A R Y

The date of the next UGM was hurridly altered last week, when it was realised that bylaw changes given their first reading on December 2 could not be put to the UGM on February 19. The meeting was brought forward, and the deadline for motions therefore passed yesterday.

See

Friday, January 30,1981

page 5

Free!

Dear Sir M a y I just say that I a m n o w i n m y fifth year at I C a n d d u r i n g that time I ate c o o k e d M o o n e y s for o n l y the first six m o n t h s ( L i n s t e a d meals excepted, but there I h a d little choice). A f t e r that t i m e , I d e c i d e d e n o u g h was e n o u g h , a n d t u r n e d to i t e m s w h i c h needed no, or m i n i m u m , preparation: yoghurt, milk, sandwiches, crisps, a n d M a r s bars. I then c o o k e d m y o w n , m o r e b a l a n c e d m e a l i n the evening.

I n 1979, I started m y P h D as a P R I s t u d e n t at the B r i t i s h Museum (Natural History), a t t a c h e d to I C , a n d have never eaten in College since. T h e B M ( N H ) canteen is far superior i n a l l ways.

A l s o since 1976, I have h a d the p l e a s u r e (I use t h e w o r d a d visedly) to eat i n the refectories of several other colleges and universities as v a r i e d as M a n chester, B a t h , Sussex, Q M C , Herriott-Watt, K i n g s College, C a m b r i d g e a n d U E A . A L L are of higher q u a l i t y t h a n I C , a n d that must say s o m e t h i n g .

T h e n w h y the hell is it that if they c a n do it, I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e of S c i e n c e a n d T e c h n o l o g y cannot?

Yours sincerely Ian J K i t c h i n g Zoology P G Dear Sir M a y wc d r a w the a t t e n t i o n of y o u r readers to the f o r m a t i o n of a new society? T h e P o l i t i c a l Extremist, Revolutionary and V i s i o n a r y Society. T h i s n a m e was c h osen not because the society has as its a i m a n y of the a b o v e , b u t because its initials spell P E R V S O C . ( W e l l , it's better t h a n S C A B isn't it? or its V e r y D r u n k version, V C S C A B . ) Page 2

T h e purpose of the society is to enable its president a n d vicepresident to get back into h a l l next year. T o do this w c need at least twenty members.

T o become a member you must firstly s u b s c r i b e to the College medical insurance scheme a n d secondly y o u must go to the top of Q u e e n s T o w e r on a c l o u d l e s s m o o n l i t n i g h t at m i d n i g h t a n d shout S N O T as l o u d l y as you c a n at least ten t i m e s . T h i s is k n o w n as t h e P E R V S O C C H A N T , a n d is a n a c r o n y m of " S e l d o m N e e d O r g a n T r a n s p l a n t s " . T h i s is b e l i e v e d to be a n a n c i e n t Chadian Marxist-Geurilla's antisexist fertility chant. M e m b e r s s h o u l d have no k n o w n relatives, or at least o n l y k n o w their k n o w n relatives not more t h a n relatively w e l l , if at a l l (this doesn't count).

M e e t i n g s take place twice weekly i n the C h e m i s t r y S u b-bas emen t, where it is hot a n d sweaty (but d o n ' t tell anyone, because we're not really a l l o w e d d o w n there y o u know!)

P E R V S O C is not a registered c h a r i t y (although we do h o l d c o l l e c t i o n s for n o n - o p p r e s s e d people w h o w a n t to have their h u m a n r i g h t s v i o l a t e d by a m i l i t a r y junta).

See you at the next meeting!

H o w a r d R u d d ( C h c m 1) a n d A n o n ( a l s o o f C h e m 1), whose initials are S H , but the rest of his n a m e wishes to r e m a i n anonymous.

Sir I a m w r i t i n g to y o u w i t h some i n f o r m a t i o n w h i c h m a y w e l l be of interest to c e r t a i n readers of y o u r newspaper.

Since I c a m e to Southside at the e n d of last September, I have been i n t r i g u e d by the i n t e r n a l telephone system, a n d especially the staircase phones. It d i d not take me l o n g to discover that b y r e m o v i n g the w a l l p a n e l j u s t above the fridge I c o u l d connect a n extension to m y o w n r o o m . I n the m i d d l e of last t e r m , therefore, I r e t u r n e d h o m e to b r i n g u p m y o w n handset a n d extension lead.

T h e n , after a hasty bit of r e w i r i n g one n i g h t , I was able to l i n k m y r o o m to t h e rest o f Southside.

C o v e r i n g u p m y actions so far has been easy. T h e m a i n risk of discovery c a m e from the cleaners, so I h i d t h e p h o n e i n t h e w a r d r o b e , a n d silenced the bell so as not to give the game a w a y .

T h e system w o r k e d very w e l l , but was a bit l i m i t e d , not b e i n g able to d i a l outside Southside.

I m a g i n e m y delight w h e n I read that the w h o l e i n t e r n a l s y s t e m w a s to be p u t a t m y disposal. I c a n see that this w i l l be very useful i n the weeks to come.

I k n o w w h a t I a m d o i n g i n this m a t t e r , as I a m sponsored by the

G P O a n d I w i l l be h a p p y to e x p l a i n to anyone w h o is i n terested how to go about it.

F o r obvious reasons, I regret that I must r e m a i n a n o n y m o u s , but I w i l l try to correspond w i t h p e o p l e t h r o u g h these pages (unless M r M a r s h a l l censors it) or on t e c h n i c a l problems v i a Box 32, F E L I X Office.

Tours faithfully (with apologies to the FerretJ (Hox nos are available through the FELIX Office at a charge of £1 per term. Strict secrecy assured.)

The

Weasel

Small Ads •Dept of Elec Eng has a quantity of audio tapes for sale. They are V " wide x 1200ft on 7" reels. These are good quality tapes, and are a bargain at 50p each. Apply to Dept Supt Room 612, ext 2352.

•Sensory Chest Challenger for sale, brand new, latest model, fantastic price £96. Stefano Casalotti, Life Science or 892 8676.

•AKAI CS-33D tape deck, excellent 'chrome' sound, fantastic value at £62.

Stefano Casalotti, Life Science or 892 8676.

•Texas Tl 57 programmable calculator, incl handbook, mains adaptor, etc. £20 for quick sale. Contact John Trives, Mech Tech 3.

•Mini Clubman Estate, L reg, 52,000 miles, taxed until end March, MOT until end Ap'ril, some paintwork requires attention, otherwise good condition. £350. Telephone 542 1561.

•Grundlg TK121 reel-to-reel tape-recorder, in needotslight repair, £750o no.

Contact A Winkler (PG) via Chem Eng letter-racks.

•Anyone using 110 cameras? Photographic Shop now has a stock of Kodacolour II and Kodacolour 400 (20 exp) films. At throw-away prices. (Don't come and we'll throw them away!)

PS we sold the Extachrome!

•1976 Honda 90, good condition, MOT 1 yr, top box and carrier. £130ono.

•Wanted: Room for couple in flat or house in W4 or W6. Phone L Robinson int 2187.

•Wanted: As many people as possible to help build an Adventure Playground for children this Saturday (Jan 24). See ICCAG article in this FELIX for details.

•Person wanted to share flat, own room, SW1, £80pcm. Ring internal 2387 (Juliet).

• Female Flat-mate required for comfortable self-contained flat. Call Wendy on 624 9062 after 6:00pm.

•Geological holidays in Shropshire this Easter — ideal for field studies and enlarging your fossil (mineral) collection. See S Taylor, Chem 1 for details.

•After an all-night session with three blokes I prefer to relax by leaping off a bathroom stool into a panful of boiling spaghetti.

•Any bands with a demo tape like a possible date end of next term see SVP, International Hall.

•Pottery Club Llvesl Every Monday, Bot/Zoo Common Room, 6:30pm onwards.

•AMERICA: Want to work and travel in the US and Canada next summer? For details of job schemes and work visas contact BUNAC, Green Comm Room, 3rd floor, Union Buildings, on Friday lunchtimes.

•"Can you get Pissed on a Pint!?". If not we can help you. Apply Adrian, Mech Engl.

•Wanted: A member of the RCS academic staff who would be prepared to be the Honorary Senior Treasurer for the RCS Hockey Club. Anybody who is interested should drop a note to my pigeon-hole please. R Morgan, Maths 2.

FELIX, January

4

23,1981

W h a t is L A W to y o u ?

'The Royal L a w ' a lecture on C h r i s t i a n S c i e n c e for s t u d e n t s a n d y o u n g p e o p l e illustrates the L a w of G o d a c t i v e in y o u r experience today.

C o m e a n d hear J o h n T i m p s o n , C S B , a m e m b e r of the C h r i s t i a n S c i e n c e B o a r d of L e c t u r e s h i p at I C U , B e i t hall, 6:30pm Thursday, February 5 Questions answered afterwards.

A d m i s s i o n free. N o c o l l e c t i o n .

Want a Summer Job? The Directory of Summer Jobs in Britain (1981 edition) a n d The Directory of Summer Jobs Abroad (1981 edition) a r e n o w available i n t h e H a l d a n e L i b r a r y (reference only).

These two annual 160 page handbooks list all kinds of vacation work, paid and voluntary, with details of conditions, pay and hours, special requirements and advice on applications. Each directory claims to list 30,000 vacancies and offers what the Times Educational Supplement describes as an "enormous range of opportunities".

Nursery Class Royal College of Art, 2 Jay Mews Miss Prevost 584 5020 ext 233 There are still vacancies for children aged 2>/ to 5 years. Activities include stories leading to reading, writing, numbers, educational toys, painting, music and movement, craft, nature studies, excursions, ballet, etc.

Apply now at the above telephone number or at 352 7494 places are limited.

2

W e e k s H a l l F i l m Night S u n d a y 25 J a n u a r y Last Tango In Paris c ert X B a r 8:00pm F i l m 9:00pm L a s t O r d e r s 10:20pm W O M E N FREE (Beware W I S C pickets.)

L A D Y F L O W E R S and the IC Wives C l u b are throwing a F R E E Beer and Bangers nosh-up on Thursday, January 29 in the Rector's P a d (170 Queensgate). Starts 5:30pm.

Anyone who would like to go should give their names to J e n in the I C U n i o n O f f i c e by 1:00pm o n Tuesday, January 27.

Council

Shack Shock Shock!!

Report

In the President's report, it was decided that as the U n i o n had no control over supervision of College bars, and no financial connection, it should not be called upon to provide duty officers in the bars at weekends. O r d e r in the bars, it was thought, should be the responsibility of the B a r M a n a g e r .

M r Passmore proposed a change in the way sabbatical salaries are reckoned which would keep such salaries in line w i t h postgraduate grants in future years, and be easier to calculate. T h i s was accepted. O n the F E L I X controversy the President said he was happy w i t h last week's issue, not just because it contained one letter expressing a derogatory opinion of M r Marshall's editing so far. Questioned on the matter he said that he had only been prepared to take further action, not that he would take such action in any case. H e did not think that he had climbed down over this matter. D r Schroter was now happy that the original offending article d i d not represent the views of the whole U n i o n , after being assured by the six Executive members that it d i d not. It was suggested by the meeting that the original article was self-evidently not meant to be taken seriously and that nowhere in last week's F E L I X was there the apology from M r M a r s h a l l that had been demanded from h i m , but these views were not widely held at the meeting.

R a e Snee said in her report that the clear profit from amusement machines r u n by the U n i o n was £3,148 this session.

T h e subject of casual staff in the bars was raised, but as bar managers need only get M r Mooney's go-ahead on any day, the situation was left as it is. T h e possibility of removing U n i o n regalia from the bookshop was discussed.

L i z Lindsey, i n her report, said that things were starting to happen about I N C O S T ( I n t e r n a t i o n a l C o n f e r e n c e of S t u d e n t s of T e c h n o l o g y ) .

U N E S C O from P a r i s i n t e n d e d to give $1,000 i n sponsorship. She continued by saying that plans were being considered to re-arrange the two lower levels of Southside into a "post-experience" centre, but retaining the shop, w h i c h takes over £300 each day.

There was heated discussion over two matters in the major subcommittee chairman's report. T h e first concerned a request from the H o l l a n d C l u b to use Squash Courts in College for a limited period each week. I n theory this was thought acceptable, but i n practice, the facilities were well used at present, and any specific time allocation would be difficult to make.

In the discussion on the P W P report, it was argued that M r M o o n e y should not be" "let off the hook" for the " d i s h slop" he continued to offer.

M r Passmore explained that he was elected on a platform of co-operation with College authorities, a n d that each service, e.g. refectories, nursery and accomodation had to pay for themselves.

T h e main point of the P u b l i c a t i o n Board Report concerned the actions this term of the F E L I X Editor. Whilst it was generally acknowledged that there had been no apology as such, it was thought that there had been a sufficiently fair explanation of the situation w h i c h represented an apology to M r M o o n e y . It was noted that there was an apology as such to Miss R a e Snee.

T h e other reports from R C C , S C C , S C A B , O S C a n d R a g were accepted.

W h e n the m e e t i n g r e a c h e d o t h e r business, N i c k M o r t o n , A C C C h a i r m a n , proposed that C o u n c i l should say that it believed R C C should have a uniform low subscription rate for its members. H e thought that the U n i o n should provide a service for its members and should ask College to pay for major expenses. After m u c h discussion the motion was accepted.

L A S T W E E K , F E L I X incorrectly reported the demise of the H A M S O C S h a c k o n the top of the Union Building. T h i s s h o u l d have read ' o n the top of the E l e c t r i c a l Engineering Department'. The temporary H A M S O C R o o m in t h e U n i o n B u i l d i n g is q u i t e intact.

T h e U n i o n has a s k e d the Estates D e p a r t m e n t to replace the shack after they r e m o v e d it to r e p a i r the roof. H o w e v e r , the Estates D e p a r t m e n t have t o l d the U n i o n that it w o u l d cost £1,500 N e g o t i a t i o n s are c u r r e n t l y underway with Hector C a m e r o n C l a r k , the S e n i o r Estates S u r veyor, to reduce this b i l l .

Hamsoc rule the waves L A S T M A R C H , IC Hamsoc c a m e first i n the E n g l i s h section of the A R R L C o n t e s t . T h e American R a d i o Relay League ( A R R L ) is the c o o r d i n a t i n g b o d y for a m a t e u r r a d i o i n the U S A .

T h e s c o r i n g o f t h e c o n t e s t is based o n the n u m b e r of contacts made worldwide.

A l t h o u g h H a m s o c has entered the contest i n the past this is the first time they have w o n . O t h e r B r i t i s h entries are u s u a l l y m a d e by c o m p a n i e s i n the field of electronics who have more sophisticated equipment than Hamsoc.

It is u n l i k e l y that the Society w i l l be able to enter the contest this year since the present shack i n the U n i o n B u i l d i n g is not suited for w o r l d w i d e o p e r a t i o n .

T h i s is unfortunate since G 5 Y C ( I C ' s t r a n s m i t t i n g station), h a d the r e p u t a t i o n of b e i n g one of the best t r a n s m i t t i n g signals out o f Europe.

Welsh injured in Wales!

V I C K Y W E L S H of Physics 2 suffered m u l t i p l e bruises after s l i p p i n g t h i r t y feet d o w n t h e mountain Trefan in Snowdonia o n S a t u r d a y J a n u a r y 17 w h i l s t on a Scout and G u i d e C l u b Weekend with twenty-three others.

T h e g r o u p h a d split i n t o two factions: fifteen went to S n o w d o n a n d eight to T r e f a n (one s t a y i n g i n Bethesda). H o w e v e r , w e a t h e r conditions were worse t h a n expected so that the S n o w d o n p a r t y , w h i c h c o n t a i n e d several novices to c l i m b i n g , a l t h o u g h u s i n g ice-axes a n d r o p i n g t h e m selves together i n t w o places, h a d t o t u r n b a c k o n l y a b o u t 100

yards f r o m the top of G r i b G o c h for fear that if they then w a l k e d a l o n g the ridge to S n o w d o n the strong w i n d s , deep snow a n d d r i v i n g h a i l m i g h t be too d a n g e r ous.

T h e T r e f a n p a r t y were m o r e e x p e r i e n c e d a n d succeeded i n getting to the top of T r e f a n i n one piece not w i t h s t a n d i n g V i c k y ' s slip at a p o i n t w h e n they were not r o p e d together a n d there was no one b e h i n d her.

W h e n asked w h e t h e r her life h a d flashed i n front of her eyes, V i c k y said: " N o , I was just t h i n k i n g I've got to h o l d o n to somet h i n g ! " ' T h e party then walked a l o n g the top a n d c a m e d o w n by

FEUX,

a different route a n d it was o n l y after V i c k y ' s bruises h a d swelled u p to their f u l l glory that she f o u n d that she c o u l d n ' t b e n d her knee a n d c o u l d o n l y l i m p a r o u n d Bethseda. T h e f o l l o w i n g d a y w h i l e the experienced clirh.bers t a c k l e d S n o w d o n , some others c l i m b e d T r e f a n a n d some chastened Snowdon survivors walked a r o u n d the hills s u r r o u n d i n g Bethseda a n d d o w n to the M e n a i Straits a n d back. V i c k y ' s c o m ment o n this was " I feel like a cripple".

S c o u t a n d G u i d e C l u b w i l l be v i s i t i n g W a l e s a g a i n this weekend.

January

30,

1981

FELIX Blues THE UNION PRINT UNIT has been f a c i n g t e c h n i c a l difficulties recently, r e s u l t i n g i n the late p r o d u c t i o n of F E L I X d u r i n g this t e r m .

P r o b l e m s started i n the second week of t e r m w h e n the M u l t i l i t h 1850 offset l i t h o g r a p h y p r i n t i n g m a c h i n e broke d o w n . N o e n g i n eer was able to r e p a i r it u n t i l T h u r s d a y afternoon, a n d this me an t t h a t F E L I X was not p r i n t e d u n t i l F r i d a y . H e n c e , it was d i s t r i b u t e d on M o n d a y .

M e a n w h i l e , the typesetter d e v e l o p i n g m a c h i n e broke o n F r i d a y . T h e m o d e l is ni longer m a d e , so spare parts w o u l d be diffic u l t to c o m e by, a n d a replacement w o u l d cost over £600. H o w e v e r , a n engineer c a l l e d o n M o n d a y , a n d fixed it w i t h a piece of string.

L a s t T h u r s d a y , disaster struck.

T h e phototypesetter stopped p r o d u c i n g images on paper to be firm developed. A l t h o u g h the was r u n g i m m e d i a t e l y , it was m i d - a f t e r n o o n before anyone a r r i v e d . W h i l s t the E d i t o r , Steve M a r s h a l l , was c o n s i d e r i n g h a v i n g c o p y t y p e d on a n o r d i n a r y t y p e w r i t e r , the c l u t c h o n the p r i n t i n g m a c h i n e broke. I n the face of the m o u n t i n g difficulties M r M a r s h a l l decided that F E L I X w o u l d not be p u b l i s h e d last week.

T h e typesetter was r e p a i r e d by r e p l a c i n g the l i g h t i n g u n i t . T h i s meant, however, the internal electonics were c a u s i n g problems as the n e w l i g h t i n g u n i t was not c o m p a t a b l e w i t h the o l d electronics. So a further engineer c a l l e d to replace yet more of the m a c h i n e . A t the t i m e of w r i t i n g this a r t i c l e , fingers were b e i n g firmly crossed.

Southside Slasher A N U M B E R of Princes Gardens residents have been getting more t h a n t h e y b a r g a i n e d for w h e n parking cars illegally in Princes Gardens and behind L i n s t e a d H a l l .

T h e usual action is for a large sticker (warning the driver that the registration number has been noted and a fine will be imposed if the car is parked illegally again) to be firmly glued to the back window.

It now appears as if some people are taking the law into their o w n hands by piercing tyres of cars that shouldn't be there. In three days last week, seven tyres from four cars h a v e been r u i n e d i n a s i m i l a r manner — namely the side of the tyre being p u n c t u r e d c a u s i n g irreparable damage. T h e damage is done so as not to be immediately obvious, e.g. at the kerb or next to a wall. Further, the cars were not all parked i n the same allocated space, and some were not parked in an allocated space at a l l .

Page 3

A

p r o g r a m m e

for

s u r v i v a l

SHIRLEY WILLIAMS gave a talk, on the Brandt Report, at ImperialReport states that priority must be College on Thursday January 15th. Mrs Williams asked FELIX to given to the needs of the poorest stimulate Interest and to Increase student awareness of the contentscountries and regions. The removal of of the Report. The following article Is based on her lecture, the poverty requires both substantial Report ('North-South: a programme for survival') and a personal resource transfers from the developed countries and an increased Interview. determination of the developing countries to improve economic management and deal with social and economic inequalities.

T h e Report takes its title from the belief that major international initiatives are needed if m a n k i n d is going to survive. F o r the hundreds of millions of people who live on the edge of starvation i n the developing countries, the South, this is a matter of obvious fact. T h e industrialised countries, the N o r t h , have not been w i l l i n g i n the past to go very far towards accepting the South's case that the world economy works to the South's disadvantage. T h e Report argues today, i n almost every field of the world's present troubles, a substantial number of the solutions depend on recognising the m u t u a l interests between N o r t h a n d South.

Mrs W i l l i a m s began by commenting on the present staggering growth of world population. Over one million people are added to the population of the world every five days. By the year 2000 world population is likely to have increased from its present level of 4.3 billion to approximately 6.3 billion. 90% of the increase will take place in the Third W o r l d . T h e rapid rise in population compounds the task of providing food, jobs, shelter, education and health services, of mitigating absolute poverty, and of meeting the colossal financial and administrative needs of rapid urbanisation.

Estimates of how many people in the T h i r d W o r l d live in conditions of absolute poverty have been put at approximately 800 million. The c o m b i n a t i o n of m a l n u t r i t i o n , illiteracy, disease, high birth rates, underemployment closes off the avenues of escape; and while other groups are increasingly vocal, the poor and illiterate are usually and conveniently silent. The Brandt

s o

Dear Sir I feel o b l i g e d to w r i t e i n defence o f y o u , the E d i t o r . I a n d numerous others find your "editorial style" enlightening a n d greatly a m u s i n g . A b i t o f

Page 4

The Commission believed that the world cannot wait for the longer term measures before embarking on an immediate action programme for the next five years to avert the most serious dangers. A n Emergency Programme was proposed having the following principal elements: 1. A large-scale transfer of resources to developing countries.

2. A n international energy strategy with the aims of ensuring regular supplies of oil, rigorous conservation, more predictable a n d g r a d u a l price increases in real terms and the development of alternative and renewable energy sources.

3. A global food programme.

4. A start on some major reforms in the international monetary and financial system, in which all parties can participate more fully and an acceleration of efforts to i m p r o v e developing countries' conditions of trade in commodities and manufactures.

Mrs Williams said that she was pleased to choose Imperial to say that a fresh approach to higher education is required. " W e must recognise that

Shirley Williams

fun at M r M o o n e y ' s expense is far m o r e e n t e r t a i n i n g t h a n reports of b o r i n g d r i v e l that flows f r o m the i n n u m e r a b l e c o m m i t t e e s that a l l seem to c o n s i s t o f t h e s a m e people.

Y o u r remarks about M r M o o n e y are a lot closer to " r e p r e s e n t i n g the views o f the student b o d y " t h a n the garbage usually c h u r n e d out by the aforementioned committee, m a y b e they d o not eat M r M o o n e y ' s products or altern a t i v e l y c o n s u m e f r o m his r o y a l bin.

I note that the b u l k of the c r i t i c i s m comes f r o m those d i r e c t l y responsible for the a p p a l l i n g shit we are expected to shovel i n t o o u r gullets. N a m e l y , the R e c t o r , the C h a i r m a n o f the R e f e c t o r y C o m m i t t e e , a n d the D P I C U . Possibly they take the article as a g r o u p c o m d e n a t i o n o f their catering arrangements, if not, they s h o u l d .

n o w as D P she appears to a t t a i n w i t h F E L I X a position a k i n to that o f S i r J a m e s G o l d s m i t h w i t h Private Eye. P e r h a p s Exec News should be r e n a m e d ' T a l b o t ' .

As w i t h r e g a r d to o t h e r i n d i v i d u a l s , y o u have c e r t a i n l y ' c r u s a d e d ' against the p o m p o u s egotistical arseholes w h o see a n y U n i o n position, however minor, as a pedestal to flaunt t h e i r o w n p o w e r a n d glory. A n y o n e w h o has t r i e d to g a i n access to a J C R P a r t y w i l l k n o w exactly w h a t I mean.

Tours in total support A Patterson Mech Eng3 Dear Sir L a s t week a letter addressed to secretary of the C o n s e r v a t i v e Society, W i l l i a m C o r t a z z i , C h e m E n g 2, was p u t i n his d e p a r t m e n t a l letter-rack. T h e letter, f r o m the Houses o f P a r l i a m e n t was stolen w i t h i n a c o u p l e o f hours.

M i s s R Snee also seems to be y o u r m a i n litery b u g b e a r , first as R a g C h a i r m a n (ref 1979/80 R a g M a g which, incidentally, I t h o u g h t was a masterpiece) a n d

T h e Secretary has h a d to w r i t e to a l l P a r l i a m e n t a r i a n s w i t h w h o m the S o c i e ty has been c o r r e s p o n d i n g to e x p l a i n w h a t has h a p p e n e d so that w e c a n find

FEUX,

January

30,1961

the tradition of exporting high technology to the South can do immense harm to the culture of underdeveloped countries. Imperial College is a singularly appropriate place to investigate new concepts i n engineering," she said.

The Venice Summit in June 1980, which was a meeting of the political leaders "of the Western World and Japan, did not consider the Brandt Report seriously because priority was given to attacking inflation. However, there has been an encouraging individual response in the United Kingdom as over 50,000 copies of the Report have been sold. " I hope that you have a group at Imperial who arc interested in organising local campaigns to argue the case put by the Report. So often campaigns die - this one better not die," said M r s Williams. The Rector, The L o r d Flowers, commented that the Report is on sale at the I C bookshop price ÂŁ1.95.

Peace Finally, using the words of Willy Brandt, " I f reduced to a simple denominator, this Report deals with peace. W a r is often thought of in terms of m i l i t a r y c o n f l i c t , or even annihilation. But there is a growing awareness that an equal danger might be chaos - as a result of mass hunger, economic disaster, environmental catastrophes, and terrorism. So we should not think only, of reducing the traditional threats to peace, but also of the need for change from chaos to order."

Colin Palmer

the sender a n d discover the contents.

H o w e v e r the r e p u t a t i o n of the C o l l e g e ( a n d the society) w i l l i n e v i t a b l y be t a r n i s h e d where it matters most, i n the Houses of Parliament.

A s a C o n s e r v a t i v e Society we are c o m m i t t e d to m a k e people m o r e a w a r e o f the p h i l o s o p h y a n d policies o f the C o n s e r v a t i v e P a r t y . A s a n I C S o c i a l C l u b we are c o m m i t t e d to e n h a n c i n g the q u a l i t y o f life o f the I C student.

T h e m a i n w a y to c o m b i n e these two c o m m i t m e n t s is to exploit our position i n South K e n a n d i n vi t e g o o d outside speakers to address meetings at C o l l e g e w h e h are free a n d o p e n to n o n members.

A n y t h i n g w h i c h jeopardises o u r a b i l i t y to attract speakers o f the highest c a l i b r e , ought therefore to be of e n c e r n to a l l t h o u g h t f u l students.

If the thief ever j o i n s that set o f people even for a m o m e n t , then he must realise that the letter ought to be r e t u r n e d .

Tours faithfully M a r k Clegg

Small Ads •Found: one LCD watch outside Safeways. Apply Tim (top of the league) Mitchell, Mech Eng. •Accommodation: One person required to share well-furnished house with four IC students. Kensal Rise, NW10 area (20min bus ride to College). Rent £21 per week. J Nokes, Life Sci letterrack or phone 451 1056 (evenings).

•Flat to let: self-contained single bedroom flat close to Clapham North tube station. £165 per calendar month. J M MBSfcin, Mining 3, Int 4077.

•If you're gay (orthink you might be) be daring and come along to ULU Gaysoc, in room 2D, ULU Building, Malet St, every Thursday at 8:00pm.

•Photosoc Colour Slide Competition: Tuesday, February 10. Colour prints: max 3 entries, entry fee 30p. Size of prints approx 6" x 8". Bring your entries mounted if possible. Slides: max 5 entries, entry fee 50p, bring your slides at the time of competiton. In room 303 Min Tech at 7:00pm.

• T o all students: The Biophysics Group is carrying out reserach on colour vision. We particularly need people with reduced colour discrimination. If you are colour blind and would like to help with our work, would you please contact Isobel Hendricks, Room 714 (Physics), Int 2925. Thank you!

•If anybody it interested in forming a French Society at IC would they please get in touch with Aftab Gujral, Chem PG, Int 2573.

•TM Society: Anyone who has learnt transcendental meditation (as taught

by Maha Rishi Mahesh Yogi) is invited to join regular group meditations Mondays 5:30pm, Room 411 Maths Dept or contact Bernard Canetti, Maths PG, Int 4380.

•Chem Eng Soc 37th Annual Dinner will be on Friday, February 6. Meet 5:00 for 5:30 in the Sherfield Lower Refectory. Tickets, £5.50 students, £7.00 staff, available from the Hon Sec of Chem Eng Soc. •Viscount Ampliler, 20w RMS per channel and two small speakers 15w max, possibility of JVC tape deck as well. Make me an offer. Box 004, C&G Union Office.

•Hendrix In The West: Midnight Lightning: Best of JimiHendrix Vol 1; Best of Jimi Hendrix Vol II. £1.75 each. Chris Ward, Met 3, RSM or flat 218 Hamlet Gdns.

•VW Beetle 1300,1969, left-hand drive, tax, 9 months MOT. Good condition, reliable, £300. P Sunderland, Mech Eng 2 letter-racks or 31 Garden Hall.

•Sport* Car, 1973 Triumph GT3 Mk 3, french blue/black, recent work, £1,100 or offer. P Kyle (Mech Eng 2).

•Rolleitlex !3.5 ttssartir camera, metered, excellent cndition, beautiful results, recent £40 rollei service, 4 filters, lens hood, £100 the lot. Contact Phil Hollinshead, Met 2 or telephone 385 7238 eves.

•Stage and lights crew to help run the Home Counties Amateur Dramatic Festival. See Nick Moran, Wednesday or Sunday afternoon.

•Without Trace, formerly Various A tists, formerly And Support, etc., requires vocalist with good name for the band. Urgent! Spike, Dramsoe, Internal 2854.

•Sharp GF9191 stereo portable radio cassette recorder, v good condition. £130. Apply FELIX Box 9191.

C a r D o o r C a v e d In My car door was caved in on Thursday outside the swimming pool. Surely someone saw it done! The car's a black Ford prefect XHU 297. If anyone saw it please contact Sean Bell, Aero 1.

Please!

C a l l M y Bluff T u e s , F e b 3 , 1 : 2 5 p m , H u x l e y 340 Union Exec v Jewish Society

Continued

from front

page

M Y U n d e r B y l a w 19, r e f e r r i n g to B y l a w c h a n g e s , it states " n o a l t e r a t i o n i n the B y l a w of the U n i o n shall be m a d e w i t h o u t the a p p r o v a l o f a two thirds m a j o r i t y at t w o G e n e r a l M e e t i n g s h e l d not less t h a n 28 C o l l e g e days b u t not more t h a n 40 C o l l e g e days a p a r t . " T h e r e were 12daysseparat i n g t h e last t w o U G M S , a n d there w o u l d have been forty-two C o l l e g e days between successive readings of the proposed a m e n d ments. If the m e e t i n g h a d went ahead o n the o r i g i n a l date, it w o u l d have m e a n t that the changes w o u l d have h a d to be r e i n t r o d u c e d o n F e b r u a r y 19, a n d w o u l d then not take effect u n t i l the b e g i n n i n g o f the next session. It also seemed u n l i k e l y t h a t t h e r e w o u l d be q u o r a t e U G M s next t e r m , so the b y l a w changes w o u l d d r a g o n into the next session o r fail to be accepted unless the m e e t i n g was b r o u g h t forward.

T h e three proposed changes i n v o l v e d e n a b l i n g more C o l l e g e m e m b e r s to b e c o m e U n i o n members, r e m o v i n g the P e r m a nent W o r k i n g P a r t y f r o m the U n i o n C o u n c i l , a n d d e l e t i n g the I C W A c o n s t i t u t i o n f r o m the Bylaws.

T h e controversy over I C W A has been g o i n g o n for some t i m e .

A t present, the p r o b l e m is that for I C W A to a l t e r its o w n c o n s t i t u t i o n it needs a t u r n o u t of 100 member s (from the w o m e n at I C ) to have a q u o r a t e m e e t i n g ; but I C W A has not h a d such a m e e t i n g for a l o n g p e r i o d . H e n c e , it is u n a b l e to alter itself whilst its c o n s t i t u t i o n is c o n t a i n e d i n the b y l a w s . It w a s therefore suggested that the U n i o n s h o u l d remove I C W A f r o m the b y l a w s a n d leave the w a y open for a n ew women's group, which might cater m o r e fully for the female

c o m m u n i t y , to be set u p a n d b r o u g h t back into the b y l a w s i n the future.

W h e n it was realised that the first readings w o u l d be m e a n ingless if the next m e e t i n g was held o n the proposed date, the m e e t i n g was b r o u g h t f o r w a r d by two weeks, to F e b r u a r y 5, a n d the d e a d l i n e for m o t i o n s was therefore set at J a n u a r y 29, b u t due to a lack of p u b l i c i t y by the U n i o n , a n d F E L I X not b e i n g p u b l i s h e d last week, few people k n o w o f this change.

T h e U n i o n w i l l h a v e to efficiently publicise the m e e t i n g , to get the necessary n u m b e r i n the G r e a t H a l l next T h u r s d a y at 1:00pm so as to have the b y l a w changes accepted. F u r t h e r m o r e , B y l a w 19 continues by stating " A l l alterations to the B y l a w s must have the a p p r o v a l o f the G o v e r n i n g Body before bec o m i n g effective". A s this B o d y does not meet a g a i n u n t i l the e n d o f t h i s t e r m these a l t e r a t i o n s c a n n o t t a k e effect u n t i l n e x t term. T h i s r e - a r r a n g e m e n t of days has already caused some difficulty. O n e of the motions likely to be s u b m i t t e d concerns Britain's nuclear policy. O w e n G r e e n e (a l e a d i n g m e m b e r of the College's C N D G r o u p ) is l i k e l y to speak i n a debate o n such a m o t i o n , was p e r t u r b e d w h e n he realised that the new date clashed w i t h a proposed lecture o n n u c l e a r d i s a r m a m e n t , a n d he thought it w o u l d be very difficult for those interested to a t t e n d the lecture, A N D vote against multilateral nuclear disarmament at the U G M .

Hair Raiser D A V E G A Y E R , Guilds President, is d y i n g his h a i r i n l o u d c o l o u r s , as a p r e l i m i n a r y t o h a v i n g it a l l shaved off, i n the near future.

A t the e n d o f last week D a v e was seen w i t h his usual b r o w n h a i r b l e a c h e d to a b r i g h t y e l l o w , a n d this week his h a i r has been s h o c k i n g p i n k . S p e a k i n g to F E L I X about the s i t u a t i o n , he said he h a d meant his h a i r *.o be i n G u i l d s colours, but it h a d c o m e out p i n k instead. H e >id that a l t h o u g h m a n y boys regarded pink as repulsive, it found f a v o u r w i t h the girls. H e a d d e d that he w a n t e d to object about the w a y he was treated i n the ' G o a t i n Boots' p u b l i c house i n F u l h a m R o a d , w h e r e he w a s r e f u s e d service, a n d then t h r o w n o u t , because he was thought to be a p u n k . H e stated that he h a d no regrets about his actions so far, b u t d e c l i n e d to c o m m e n t o n what other E x e c m e m b e r s s h o u l d have cut off for R a g .

T h e a m o u n t collected so far is £150 towards a target o f £250.

1

Cheap Beer Monday 2 February f r o m 7:30pm in S t a n ' s B a r the new Taylor Walker Real Ale at 3 0 p p e r p i n t .

IC Radio Jammed!

Dave Fuller, I C Radio's Station M a n a g e r , was r u s h ed t o B r o m p t o n H o s p i t a l last week w i t h suspected food p o i s o n i n g .

B u t hospital staff agreed that the rash a n d other s y m p t o m s indicated an allergy, quite possibly to the a r t i f i c i a l c o l o u r i n g in strawberry j a m . T h i s substance is a d d e d to other foods, i n c l u d i n g orange squash, a n d D a v e n o w has a n extensive list o f foods he s h o u l d a v o i d .

H e w i l l r e t u r n to the h o s p i t a l i n t w o weeks for m o r e tests.

FEUX,

January

30, 1981

Page 5

SISTER LORNA BROCKETT (Chem, Linstead): member of the lay training department of the Anglican diocese of Southwark, and a member of RC religious community of the Society of the Sacred Heart. Read modern languages at St Andrews, theoloav at Oxford and did a PhD in French parttime at Birkbeck. Was head of RE at a school in Surrey and lecturer in religious studies at colleges in Newcastle and London. Involved in Ecumenical activity at a local and national level. Committed to a fuller involvement of the laity in the life of the church. Interested in counselling.

Worked for BBC Radio London's Quest programme.

CONTACT WEEK '81 CONTACT WEEK is an annual event organised by the West London Chaplaincy.

The Chaplaincy operates in three colleges in West London: Imperial College, the Royal College of Music and Queen Elizabeth College. We exist as a network of small groups which meet regularly in the halls of residence and student houses, and at lunchtimes in College departments.

During Contact Week each group of students acts as host to one of the members of the team. As you can see the team, are a varied and interesting bunch of people who are bringing their insight and their experience of the oustide world to the various informal discussions and meetings which will be hapening around them.

The team are not coming just for the benefit of regular members of the Chaplaincy but to stimulate thought and discussion about personal, ethical and religious questions in the halls and departments where they are based, and to respond to the issues you might want to raise.

The Contact Week team are not coming to recruit or convert people — that's not the Chaplaincy's style — but they will be happy if their presence this week helps to activate and catalyse some fresh undestanding and new growth in the people they meet, so look out for the notices in your hall or department and come along and join in. You will find us open to your point of viewl as willing to give you ours.

ANNE HORTON (Formosa St, QEC): born 1944 in Maidstone, Kent. Educated Maidstone Grammer School for Girls, University of Leicester (BSc Maths) Cert Ed. Taught secondary maths in Leicester and Norfolk, some years of which I was a member of an Anglican Religious Order. Since 1979 a student at Lincoln Theological College preparing for ministry as a deaconess in the C of E. Enjoy playing games, acting, disturbed adolescents.

ELIZABETH MORRIS (Castellain Road): Scottish and NW England family background. Education: Finchley and Hampstead; and Scottish boarding school. Graduated 1950 — Hons Economics — UCL. Married, daugnter ana son, both married, and graduates in mathematics. Husband: wartime RAF pilot; chartered accountant and management consultant, works for a firm in the City. Present work: as a Pastoral Auxiliary in the diocese of Southwark.

Wednesday, February 4 12:30 C h e m E n g C o n c o u r s e LUNCH followed by a D E B A T E BETTY COMBIE (New Kings Rd and Chem Eng): went to boarding school.

Invited to India for six months, stayed two and a half years. Saw Bombay, Calcutta and the Punjab, Kashmir and the mofussil, all in the days of the raj.

Spent six and a half years in Jamaica. . . . two with husband, then as a widow, when I was invited to return to work as organiser with the Girl Guide movement. On return to the UK I was accepted for training for Church work at Gilmore House, Clapham. Joined the staff of St Matthews, Brixton.

TONY ELLIS (Evelyn Gardens): Born in March 1956, brought up at Bramhall, an outer suburb of southern Mancheser, moved to Keble College Oxford as an exhibitioner to study theology with a view to ordination.

Became concerned about the gulf between the theology that I learnt there and the attitudes of the wider church, exemplified in my home church. Consequently, I launched into this topic and after 3 years of work at Manchester University have just submitted a PhD thesis. During that time I spent 2 years as a resident 'tutor' and latterly the Sub-Warden in a men's hall of residence. This involved taking responsibility for 50 men and assisting in the administration of the hall of 150 students. Now in the first of four terms at Lincoln Theological College. Main interests are drawing and painting, walking and listening to music.

T h i s House believes that arms sales organisations disbanded

be

forthwith

Proposer: Bruce Kent, Director C N D A g a i n s t : B a r n e y H e y h o e , U n d e r S e c S t a t e for A r m y

Contact

Week:

January

DONALD GREEN (Stephendale Rd, Mech Eng): nearly fifty, married with 3 children aged 23, 21, and 17, national service 1950/1, read English at Cambridge, followed by a year's teacher training, 1955-66 school teaching, mostly in urban comprehensives, then teacher training college. 1973, study leave, switched to English and part-time student counselling. Twelve years a magistrate (resigned last year) with interest in the probation service. Twelve years on board of visitors of an open borstal with which still involved.

31 - February

8 1981

SISTER ELIZABETH-CLARE (RCM and QA); at university read history, did various kinds of social work in Canada and the UK. In 1964 joined the Community of the Holy Name, Malvem, following from that has taught with the Community in Africa, though now back in Malvern as Guest Sister.

FEUX,

January

JOHN MORRIS (Keogh Tizard, Elec Eng): bom 1956, Worcester Royal Grammar School, University College Swansea, now at Lincoln. Brought up as a Methodist. Converted to Anglicanism. On leaving College worked as a car mechanic and night shelter worker with alcoholics. Interested in mending cars, politics. Christian apologetics.

NORMAN JEFFREYS (Holland Rd): A parish priest from Great Barford, Herts. Married with baby daughter.

Especially interested in 'wholeness' — the place of healing in the Christian faith.

MARY WRIGHT (Bloemfontein, PGs): A n g l o - D u t c h parents, born in Brussels, educated there until 14, then English Methodist boarding school.

Presbyterian in Brussels, became Anglican at Oxford. Graduate in modern languages, and subsequently theology. Short spell in industry.

Taught 2 years. Assistant editor of religious weekly for 4 years then trained for church work. 13 years in St Marylebone Parish church and made a Deaconess there in 1961. Two and a half years on staff of Lincoln Theological College. Three years in parish Weybridge. For 4 years on staff of Roehampton Ecumenical Parish (Anglican-Methodist) with special responsibility for students as well as some hospital wards and a new housing estate.

SISTER PAMELA (Weeks and Garden Halls and Maths): a member of the Community of the Sisters of the Church, aged 27. Trained to teach in Bradford, then taught for 2 years in the North of England before joining the community. At present on the Southwark Pastoral Auxiliary training scheme, and on the chaplaincy team at a remand centre for boys at Ham.

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should

DAVID TRUBY (Falmouth, floating, RCM): born and raised in Liverpool, now aged 23. Spent 3 years at Liverpool Polytechnic doing a social studies degree. Worked in Liverpool docks for Mersey Mission to Seamen, later sold T-shirts at agricultural shows and trade fairs. Now in second year at Lincoln. Interested in looking at new forms of ministry .

30, 1981

ROBERT FIELDEN (Queen Mary Hall, QEC): bom 1932, married, two sons .. . Peter a graduate of IC. Left school at 16. worked in a bank for 8 years, trained for youth work with YMCA in Nottingham, Huddersfield and Durham University, charge of Hereford YMCA. 1965, Lincoln Theological College, ordained 1967. Now rector of a group of seaside villages on the Lincolnshire coast.

Today Dinner and Dance Thursday, February 5 Gen Comm Friday, February 6 Chem Eng Soc Annual Dinner Saturday, February 7 Inter-Hall Rag Collection

SF Sock Plays Touched T H E P L A Y is set in a n d a r o u n d S h e i t o n , N o t t i n g h a m , d u r i n g the h u n d r e d days between V E (Victory in Europe) D a y a n d V J (Victory in Japan) D a y . T h i s is a very interesting period in British social history; the election of a L a b o u r G o v e r n m e n t , hopes for a brave new w o r l d , the setting up of the U N , before c y n i c i s m , the B e r l i n c r i s i s , the i r o n c u r t a i n a n d disillusionment set i n . W e are led to suppose that we are seeing the period through the eyes of a 'typical' M i d l a n d s w o r k i n g class family, in p a r t i c u l a r t h o s e of t h e c e n t r a l c h a r a c t e r , S a n d r a . W e see th e ir h o p e s , fears a n d anxieties: the m e n c o m i n g b a c k , then not c o m i n g b a c k , socialism.

H o w e v e r , as in so m a n y of S t e p h e n L o w e ' s plays, he fails to m a k e a coherent point. If he wrote it as a m o o d piece, a social d o c u m e n tary, then he s u c c e e d e d ; as a play it does not.

T h e threads are not w o v e n but tangled, the plot vague a n d patchy. I think M r L o w e has excellent material tor a T V soap o p e r a , but theatre must be m o r e positive a n d direct.

If y o u like industrial w o r k i n g class h u m o u r tinged with tragedy then this is the play for y o u , however threadbare the storyline, the m o o d is there, there is s o m e fine acting by Marjorie Y a t e s as S a n d r a , S h a r o n D u c e as her w o r l d l y s i s t e r a n d M i k e P a c k e r as the pathetically intense J o h n n y . It plays at the Royal C o u r t Theatre until late M a r c h .

Here's afunny thing J o h n B a r d o n , recently seen in a supporting with Roger r o l e i n All The Trimmings, M c G o u g h , returns to the L y r i c S t u d i o to star as M a x Miller, the " C h e e k i e C h a p p i e " in a play written by R W S h a k e s pe re (no relation).

A p p a r e n t l y M a x Miller was a famed M u s i c Hall artiste before a n d after the war. T h e performance largely consists of j o k es a n d sketches, including various catchphrases, s o m e of w h i c h s o u n d e d vaguely familiar.

H a v i n g never seen the real thing in action ( M r Miller d i e d in 1963) I c o u l d not v o u c h for the a c c u r a c y of M r B a r d o n ' s performance. I c a n only say that he delivered the performance with B o u n c e a n d V e r v e , w h i c h may have been reminiscent of the m a n himself.

It was a n enjoyable carefree evening with p l e n t y of l a u g h s a n d g r o a n s h e a r t i l y r e c o m m e n d e d for the nostalgic amongst y o u .

It plays at the L y r i c S t u d i o until the e n d of the month.

Lee Paddon

C R A S H ! The Captain's head hit the deck. For this v e r y r e a s o n he n e v e r learnt the m i n d expanding news that had caused mild hysteria on several of the major land masses of our oh so humbled planet. Coming soon — more popular than Quintet — more intellectually stimulating than Star Trek - The Movie — more spectacular than Blake's Seven — more restrained than Rollerball — yes, it's — what is it? O h yes, it's Santa Claus Conquers The Martians, the film that does for cinema what Larry Niven did for the Oxford English Dictionary. L e x Luthor once said that he w o u l d u n r a v e l the m y s t e r i e s of the universe by reading the back of a bubble-gum wrapper. This however, has nothing to do with Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. (Soundtrack available from S F Sock Tapes Ltd.) C o m e to Mech Eng 220 on February 3 at 6:30pm and be amazed. Santa Claus Conquers The Martians is definitely one of the top five worst films ever conceived by the mind of man.

W e might — mind you I just said might — be having a short second feature called Hardware IVars. Little is known of this film, but those who have seen it tasted and found it good (i.e. funny).

I write this fresh from a game of 'call my bluff replete with weird tales of eldritch sex acts on other planets. Result: a draw, proving that the committee are all equally strange. O h well, that's life, boy.

A n d now, a mention for Steve Ridley. This shy unassuring student of mechanical engineering has missed every single S F Sock event this year, and it's not his fault. H e deserves our deep sympathy and respect. Also he hasn't been mentioned in F E L I X for ages. Keep it up Steve.

Item: an astrophysicist at Bedford College has developed the theory that the starship Enterprise is made of concrete. He is currently engaged in a long t e r m s t u d y ; w a t c h i n g every Star Trek episode to check for wheelbarrows. I will relay his findings as I receive them. That's all for now folks.

See you in the next F E L I X , if it exists.

Y o u r s in stasis.

Roland

T H E N E W sweatshirts have arrived at last! A l l colours and sizes are available in a N E W design.

See R o b K i g h t l e y in the G u i l d s Office a n y lunchtime except Fridays. The prices are: Sweatshirt £5.00 Hooded sweatshirt £6.50 T-Shirt £2.20 Wool Jumpers £11.25 Acrylic Jumpers £8.70 Sports bags are expected at the beginning of next month.

Please see Sara if you want to observe at G e n Comm.

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Saturday, January 31 Martian Invasion Rag Stunt Meet RCSU Office, 10:00am Sunday, February 8 Sevens R

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F i r s t l y , t o m o r r o w s e e s the ( R C S ) M a r t i a n Invasion of Oxford Street, so as all you L u k e Skywalkers, Capt Kirks and Flash G o r d o n s etc., etc., get along to the R C S U Office in the morning and help save the earth (in less than fourteen hours).

The Rugby Sevens Competition is a little over a week away. Team entries should be given to T i m 'Brucie' Latham (Biochem 3), the R C S Rugby Captain, as soon as possible, or leave a note in the R C S U Office.

Finally, papers for President, V P , H o n Sec, H J T and A A O go up in two weeks' time. Anyone stupid enough to be interested in any of these posts should see the present holders of the office concerned to have the error of their ways pointed out.

PJ

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Mech Eng Soc W E A R E S O R R Y a b o u t the last m i n u t e cancellation of the visit to Perkins' Engines in January. This was due to circumstances beyond even our control; Massey-Ferguson is going bust!

The next visit is to the N A T I O N A L G A S T U R B I N E E S T A B L I S H M E N T at P y e s t o c k , Farnborough on Wednesday, February 25. This will be an all day visit. For further details, see the M e c h Eng Soc noticeboard.

Our first lecture meeting of the term will take place in M E 5 4 2 o n T u e s d a y , F e b r u a r y 3 at 1:00pm when Maurice George from Harwell will present a talk on the Fusion Reactor.

The really exciting news is that in the very near future, you will be able to purchase — at very reasonable rates — your very own M e c h Eng Soc sweatshirt. Stay tuned!

A Gardam

Tuesday •3 February atlpm Outsidb

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FEUX,

January

30,

MxeaXherl

1981

Page 7

PG

Tips

T H E P G G R O U P D I N N E R was held in the Carvery at the Rembrandt Hotel on December 3.

There were no speeches or other formalities and everybody enjoyed a superb meal, most of us being able to manage at least a couple of helpings.

T h e h o t e l p i a n i s t was n o t a p p r e c i a t e d by everybody and the Union Bar prices were more manageable than the hotel bar prices, so the evening was rounded off in the Union Bar. There will be a Ploughman's L u n c h in the Union Consort Hall on February 18. About one hundred people attended the last Ploughman's L u n c h and a number of people without tickets had to be turned away at the door. We will cater a c c o r d i n g to the n u m b e r of t i c k e t s sold in advance. Tickets at 80p which includes a free pint of beer, may be bought from the Union Office in advance or for £1 on the door.

At the Board of Studies Meeting on October 29 the report for 1979/80 from the Graduate Studies Committee received much attention. A s t a t i s t i c a l a n a l y s i s of P h D s t u d e n t s w h o commenced courses in 1974 showed that of 177 students over one third had not submitted for t h e i r d e g r e e a f t e r f o u r y e a r s of s t u d y . A q u e s t i o n n a i r e h as b e e n c i r c u l a t e d so that postgraduate opinion may be assessed with a view to producing a well argued case for the next Board of Studies Meeting. Y o u are asked to fill this in and return it to the Union Office. Y o u can m a i n t a i n y o u r a n o n y m i t y by t e a r i n g off the a d d r e s s label a n d r e t u r n i n g the c o m p l e t e d questionnaire via the internal mail. Spare copies of the questionnaire may be picked up from the Union Office.

David Wood Chem P G

Mopsoc L A S T W E E K we had two of our best lectures so far this year. " T h e E n d of the Universe" came and went without any terrible effects; and a few of us discovered why the hottest day in summer isn't June 21, amongst other fads last Thursday.

Future events include a lecture on January 29

by D r Colegrave at 1:00pm in Physics Lecture Theatre 3 called "Strong-coupling Theory in Superconductors".

O n February 12, Magnus Pyke will be lecturing on "The Understandability of Science".

O u r Annual Dinner is provisionally booked for Friday, February 27. Tickets will be available soon.

Mountaineering Club L A S T T E R M , I C M C held five weekend meets.

These were generally very successful, and we were f a v o u r e d by g o o d w e a t h e r . C o r n w a l l , Swanage, Snowdonia, Derby and, for the first time, DeVon were all visited. These are typically the areas to which we travel, although occasional trips to the Lakes are made, and to Scotland to watch the New Year rain.

I C M C is principally a rock-climbing club, but some members are also enthusiastic hill-walkers, and our meets are a cheap means of getting away from London for the weekend. Typical cost is £5£10. Accomodation is in huts or camping (club tents).

T h e n e x t event after the D i n n e r M e e t to Llamberis (starting this evening) will be in a fortnight's time. Location will depend on the driver, who shouts loudest, the weather, and, perhaps, democracy. T o find out more, see us in the Union Lower Lounge o n Tuesday evenings (9:00pm onwards — look for the noisy American shouting loudest); watch the club noticeboard ( o u t s i d e the s a m e r o o m ) ; or c o n t a c t L e o Hermacinski, H e c E n g 2 or Dave Scott, Life Sci 2.

Page S

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Astrosoc A S T R O - S O C is the society for all those of you interested, in one way or another, in astronomy Y o u can forget about astrology and sciencefiction, if you join us you can find out about real deep-space adventure and experiences, firsth a n d , the very real excitement in observing objects even older than mankind. For a little light relaxation you can consider the beginning of the Universe and ponder afresh on how it will end (not on the 20th January!). Science fiction may look to "where no man has gone before" but astronomy can take you there!

The society exists to provide facilities for both the theorists and the practically minded — we own six-inch and eight-inch Newtonian reflectors as well as a 12-inch Cassegrain. The latter is currently inoperative (it is in lots of little bits "in half an observatory in Silwood Park!), but we

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hope, with the help of new members, to rebuild the telescope and to complete the observatory in the near future. Other projects being considered are the building of radio telescope and/or solar telescope. If anyone has any further jdeas for projects our Equipment Officer will be most pleased to hear from them.

T u r n i n g away f r o m the p r a c t i c a l side of astronomy, we have a number of films and talks planned for this term. Dates for your diary are: J a n u a r y 27, Film 'Challenge and Promise', P h y s i c s L T 1 , 1:30pm; F e b r u a r y 5, F i l m 'Universe', Physics L T 2 , 1:30pm; F e b r u a r y 13, D r G a r y Hunt 'The Voyager Project', Physics L T 1 , 1:00pm; F e b r u a r y 26, D r J o h n Taylor 'Black Holes', Physics L T 1 , 1:00pm.

Everyone is most welcome to come to these events, which are usually held on Tuesday/Thursday lunchtime in Lecture Theatre 3 in the Physics Building, but if you're in any doubt have a look at the p o s t e r s y o u ' l l see s c a t t e r e d t h r o u g h o u t College.

Ann Dziwior

N e w and Used Cycles

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3 K E N D R I C K M E W S , S W 7 (off Reece Mews) (Old Brompton R o a d ) — 2 min's walk from S o u t h Kensington Station T e l e p h o n e : 01 -581 2044 FEUX,

January

30,

1981

student feeling can be done through the Union representatives.

It is really a matter of accepting that food prices increase as do wages and these are subject to external factors. There are only certain bills which can be covered by College under U G C regulations and as College is running £750,000 deficit budget this year due to lack of money from Government, these will be kept to a minimum.

Prices went up 7 7 % at the start of the year to cover projected wages costs and as food prices have only now made a signficant increase have prices gone up again (only by 1%). In fact the Financial Times F o o d Index went d o w n in September and there was a possibility of the prices going down.

I do not consider the quality of the food to be Hiltonesque but it has improved (e.g. try living in International Hall). M r Mooney is willing to hear c o m p l a i n t s of a general a n d specific nature particularly through Suggestions and Complaints Committee but as he says if you have a specific complaint it is best to bring the dish back at once.

I m y s e l f w o u l d l i k e to see a c o m p l e t e reorganisation of the service as there is too much d u p l i c a t i o n at p r e s e n t i.e. too m a n y o u t l e t s providing the same type of food. However, things will not change overnight and since the last r e f e c t o r y b o y c o t t there has been a steady improvement.

Perhaps like the Holland C l u b we should try to take over the Union completely i.e. the bar and Lower Refectory. A feasibility study was done by several outside catering firms several years ago on this very idea and they all said they would not touch it with a barge-pole. Remember it is open 30 odd weeks of the year for only 4-5 hours per day.

Suggestions please? (PS I know yours, Steve.)

NUS 2

Postgraduate Questionnaire A t p r e s e n t ( M o n d a y ) I h a v e r e c e i v e d 83 replies to the questionnaire sent out. M a n y of which complain about the role of supervisors.

The issue will be discussed at Graduate Studies on February 3, so it is necessary that replies reach me before then. A l l registered research students have been sent a questionnaire but it is impossible to contact writing-up students or research assistants who are also doing P h D s . S o if researchers could fill in questionnaires and encourage others to do so I would be much appreciative.

Refectories Y e s folks I do honestly believe that since I arrived at College, Refectory food has improved, one of the main features being the introduction of cookf r e e z e f o o d . I w a s e l e c t e d o n a p o l i c y of cooperation with College authorities to try and improve things in that matter. This I have tried and will continue to try until a U G M instructs me to change. I feel that such actions as refectory boycotts should only be taken as a final course.

The one which happened two years ago was t a k e n r e a l l y a s a f i n a l a c t i o n b e c a u s e the Refectory Committee would not listen to the Union's arguments on price increases.

A refectory boycott would cost the Refectories £1000 per day, which in order to express the

I have received a letter from B i r m i n g h a m U n i v e r s i t y U n i o n about N U S a s k i n g for information, ideas, etc from myself to which I have replied.

Their president suggests the formation of a National Union of University Students for 'the sole purpose of National negotiations on major student issues like grants, Hall fees, etc' thus r e d u c i n g the present b u r e a u c r a c y , size a n d unrepresentative nature on N U S . I am interested to hear your opinions.

ICCAG B L O O D D O N O R S . In case you missed their last visit, or chickened out, the Blood Transfusion Service is returning to college on Tuesday, 10th and Wednesday, 11th February. Y o u r blood is badly needed to save lives in all sorts of situations from car crashes to childbirth, so please go to the Union Dining Hall, 1st floor of the U n i o n building, between 9.30 and 12, or 2 and 4 on those days. H you want to know more, see the display in the J C R . Giving blood doesn't hurt, but it does save lives.

H O M E I N S U L A T I O N . The cold is a terrible threat to old people. If you would like to help by insulating their homes one afternoon soon (probably W e d 11th Feb) contact Sean Coyle Elec Eng 2.

Matters Raised Personal Alarms House Committee has now purchased some small personal 'shrill' alarms, for the use of any woman using the ladies changing rooms alone.

They will be available from Beit Security in exchange for your Unioncard, or if anyone would like to buy one, they cost £4.50 from my office.

However I would like to stress that they are not a joke or a toy, they are designed to tepeB an attacker by causing pain in the ears and head, and could do serious permanent damage if misused, so please don't play with them, they are for use in genuine cases of emergency only.

U n i o n Building By the time you read this all the rooms in the Building should have a complete set of matching chairs, so please don't move chairs from room to room unless absolutely necessary, in which case p u t t h e m b a c k afterwards please.

The Senior C o m m o n R o o m is back in use now after being painted and when the curtains and light fittings are finished it should look very smart, so can users please take care and let's keep it that way.

And finally: Elections are drawing ever nearer, so if you fancy doing this job come and see me and I'll tell you all about it.

Cheers.

Rae

Travelling Abroad If student life is settling down into a rather dull routine why not step into a new r6Ie for a few weeks in the summer. Become a cowhand in U r u g u a y , a b a r m a n in B r a z i l , a c o m m u n i t y worker in Aberdeen, or even a sailing instructor on the Ivory Coast. These and a vast selection of other placements can be bound in Working Holidays, 1981 edition, published by the Central Bureau for Education visits and exchanges, 44 Baker Street, W l , price £2.30. In comparison with other books in this field it certainly sems to live up to its claim to be the most authoritative and comprehensive guide.

N o w is the time to apply for many of the placements listed, so if you're interested we have a copy in the office (15 Princes Gardens) which can be flipped through for a glimpse of life in far away places. It's the sort of book which is useful to own however since it also contains a lot of information concerning the possible hazards of living and working abroad, together with details of student fares and insurance cover. Since the cost of any kind of medical treatment abroad can be quite a shock to those of us reared under the N H S it is i m p o r t a n t to m a k e s u r e y o u are especially violas adequately insured. The D H S S leaflets in the office o n r e c i p r o c a l a g r e e m e n t s for m e d i c a l treatment in the E E C and certain other countries Hall provide a useful starting point.

Sue Telling World Symphony" Student Services

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Rehearsals 7-10 p.m. Wednesdays in the Great Mussorgsky: "Night on Bare Mountain"

Dvorak: "New

FELIX, January

30,1961

Page 9

Cross Country Compiled

by

Phil

R e s u l t s and Reports Wednesday, January Rugby IClstXV IC2ndXV

Webb

for 21,1981

0-10 9-7

V V

LSE LSE

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2-4 7-2

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Royal Holloway UCL Middlesex Barts

9-0 0-0 1-1 3-3

Football IClstW IC4thXI

THE penultimate league race was held at G u i l d f o rd last week. T h i s c o u r s e is the longest and muddiest that we normally encounter, but the overnight rain made conditions atrocious.

The Imperial team split into two groups: one travelling by train, the rest waiting for the Q E C minibus. The latter group never arrived at Guildford and our arch-rivals from U C romped away to win the race. Pickard and Kelly headed the IC contingent in ninth and thirteenth positions, with Thwaites, Virk, Weston, Hayward and Frost all arriving in about fourtieth to sixtieth positions, without any losses claimed by the mud or sabotage.

Commiserations must go to our stars left in London and congratulations to Virk and Frost who produced improved performances.

Hockey IClstXI Guilds Mines Ladies

Football Fourths IC took to the field without Captain Chown who was replaced in defence by Hatton with Buckley Captain for the day. Kings took the lead after five minutes but the Fourths soon levelled the score when a B U R N S header was deflected into the net midway through the first half. Kings again took the lead with a shot just inside the post. Towards the end of the half Oolan scored from the edge of the box to level the score.

After an 'uplifting' half-time chat from Buckley the Fourths looked more determined as they paced up to the second half. After a good pass from Archer to McNicholas and then an accurate cross B U R N S put IC into the lead for the first time. Almost immediately the Fourths scored again when B U R N S scored from outside the box. A competent performance by fullbacks Maddy and Milner and goalkeeper Gilbert ensured Kings had little opportunity to get back into the match.

B U R N S headed in his fourth of the match after a good cross from Buckley. Two more goals followed quickly when first Lay and then Hawa successfully beat the opposing goalkeeper after good attacking moves.

T E A M : Gilber, Mady, Lay, Hatton, Milner, Archer, Buckley, Dolin, Nicholas, Burns Hawa.

Snooker T H E C team didn't play last week and it looks as if they have lost their position on top of the league. The other two teams, both won 4-1 and so are now competing for the number one position.

T h e B team played Charing Cross Hospital who even struggled trying to find a team.

They managed to find five players, some of which were bar staff and night watchment.

Anyone I suppose you are all wondering how • (Last C h a n c e ) Kelly managed against C h a r i n g C r o s s . W e l l , I a m p l e a s e d to announce, he won and so retains his position in the team. Some people have suggested a cover-up by his fellow team mates and that he actually lost. Well if this is true the person involved in such a folly will feel my wrath, fist, boot etc. . . . . .

T h e boring, dull, A team won again and are brilliant, great . . . .

Page 10

Ten-Pin IN their last home match of the session the Bowling Club at long last gained victory. A very strong A team turned out against the Southampton opposition and convincingly won 4-0, in the process bowling one of the top games and series in the country this year.

The performance wqas assisted by a 204 game from Cook, a 539 series by MacGowan and a 513 series by McMullan. The B team also managed to win 4-0 with a good allround performance bowling 270 pins more than the opposition, who bowled worse than their own C team. Our C team in fact lost 3-1, but they were a team member short, and the game they did win was by only two pins. The hero of the moment was Bob Thong who remained calm under pressure and ended up with a 440 series. The ladies team was also a member short a n d , as ever, lost 4-0 but should be thanked for turning up as every pin bowled counts.

Results Saturday, Rugby IC 1st X V IC 2nd X V Football IC 6th XI Hockey I C 1st X I IC2ndXI IC 3rd XI Basketball IC 1st V

and Reports for January 24,1981

12-10 0-28

V V

UC UC

V

UCHII

4-2

V V V

Ashford Ashford Ashford

2-2 0-3 5-3

V

Ealing

51-21

Hockey Thirds T H E farce started when nine IC players were given lifts to something that was referred to, jokingly, as the pitch, and two IC players weren't. (Not that pitch again? - Ed.) Eventually we got eleven players and started the game. Well, we never really started, but the umpires began to blow their whistles and several opponents proceeded to hit us.

After five minutes of random mediocrity Pete Hughes had scored twice to give IC a comfortable lead. We then prepared for a long session of mud-slinging. But, Cathy Crossley, a guest transvestite, had different ideas. She scored. Not that surprising, but it was enough to totally confuse IC, who, by way of apology, let the opposition score.

3-1 at half-time.

FEUX,

January

30, 1981

T h e s e c o n d half was d i a b o l i c a l , Pete Hughes was again forced to score twice, and for added amusement our defence ensured' that the opposition scored twice as well.

Note: Would whoever dug up eight pounds of potatoes from the 'pitch' please return them.

Water Polo THIS W E E K E N D , the 'polo team made their annual trip to Bristol to play their university team.

The match started with the IC team looking suitably sharp and in control, and the first quarter passed without a goal. Bristol then took advantage of their huge pool and scored three times. Due to good play by our team, a t i g h t e n i n g - u p of marking and g o a l s by Richard, Mike and Nick, play improved. The final result, 4-4, was an honourable draw, after which both teams retired to the bar.

The Bristolians proved to be very hospitable and great fun was had by all!

Sailing T H E IC team finally found form on Saturday at 'The Harp' when sailing against St Thomas' Hospital and University of Kent. The 'A' team finally 'got it all together' with a 1-2-3 victory over Thomas'. In near perfect conditions some of the finer points of team sailing were used by IC and the second race was won convincingly.

Kent became fodder for this IC team in fine form — IC winning in two races.

A fine day's sailing was had and some well earned points.

T E A M : Chadwick, Kennedy, Mills, Murray, Redman, Younghusband.

Canoe White Water Championships T H E U n i v e r s i t i e s White Water R a c i n g Championships were held on January 24 and 25 at Llangollen on the River Dee. Several IC paddlers were among the UL team. Redding put in a good time in the individual K1 event but was unable to beat the very fast time put in by the winning paddlers. Benter was the fastest paddler down the course in a slalom canoe, beating a lot of people in racers. Neil MacMillan put in a good time for his first ever race.

In the C a n a d i a n event we had more success. Crofts finished fifth in the C1 event, which was won by the European Champion, Martin Hedges from Bath. In the C2 event Crofts and Graham made a good start had after an unfortunate incident with a rock capsized and lost a lot of time. After a quick recovery they still managed to finish fourth.

T a k i n g a d v a n t a g e of their team mates misfortune Redding paddling with Williams from Kings moved up to take third place.

These results reflect the growing interest and success with Canadian canoes within the c l u b , the p r e v i o u s w e e k e n d C r o f t s and Graham had won the non-ranking C2 event on the River Usk. We must thank Tim Clark for spending most of the weekend ferrying canoes and competitors and also the other reserves (Jones, Kilgow, and Redding) who provided valuable support.

Now for some club news, a new indoor slalom league will shortly be starting, so come down to the pool and get promoted. We have trips coming up on February 7/8, surfing on the Gower, February 21/22, a river trip to Wales and on March 20/24 a surfing tour to Corn well.

The big event this summer will be a surfing tour to either Portugal or the Biarrik area of F r a n c e , a n y o n e interested p l e a s e let a committee member know.

Compiled

by

Phil

Webb

W e d n e s d a y , J a n u a r y 14, 1981 Rugby IC 1st X V Guilds Football IC 2nd XI IC 4th XI Hockey IC 1st XI Guilds RCS Water Polo IC

Gutteridge C u p V London Hosp 0-6 V Roehampton Inst 0-6 V V

Bedford Guys

3-2 2-1

V V V

Goldsmiths WHMS Kings Coll

7-0 4-1 0-3

V

Neptune

13-3

Gutteridge Cup T H I S w a s a r e p l a y of t h e 1 5 - 1 5 d r a w at L o n d o n H o s p i t a l last term. T h e o p p o s i t i o n t u r n e d u p half an h o u r late, a n d were greeted in the first five minutes of the g a m e with a late C h r i s t m a s present. F r o m then on IC fought back a n d the g a m e develope d into a k i c k i n g m a t c h d o w n the t o u c h l i n e . T h e H a r l i n g t o n pitch was i s u c c e s s f u l l y ruined by c o n t i n u a l forward m o v e m e n t s w h i c h d o m i n a t e d the latter part of the game.

T h a n k y o u to a l l the s u p p o r t e r s w h o w a t c h e d , and rendered verbal a b u s e to the o p p o s i t i o n . T h e referee c a m e back to the U n i o n B a r and m a n a g e d to c r a w l out about 10:30pm.

T E A M : Pullin, Parkinson, Huglus Narborough, Morgan, Davies, Chandler, Johns, Manzoni, Lorans, Richards, Warby, Smart (Capt), Hall, Davies, Johnston.

Football Seconds A spirited s e c o n d half p e r f o r m a n c e a l l o w e d the s e c o n d s to c o m e from b e h i n d a n d w i n a m a t c h that they s h o u l d have had s e w n up by half-time.

In the first half B e d f o r d rarely e n c r o a c h e d into IC's half of the pitch, s u c h was the s t r e n g t h of t h e w i n d . I C , h o w e v e r , w e r e u n a b l e to convert the territorial superiority into goals. A t the interval with a s c o r e of 0-0, B e d f o r d were feeling justifiably pleased, a n d t h i n g s l o o k e d e v e n b l e a k e r f o r IC w h e n B e d f o r d went 1-0 up, five m i n u t e s into the s e c o n d half. IC fought back a n d were s o o n on level terms w h e n E s b e r g e r p r o d d e d the ball h o m e after a fine r u n . A c l o s e range shot from V e e n m a n g a v e IC t h e l e a d , w h i c h w a s promptly w i p e d out by Bedford's s e c o n d goal. T h e w i n n e r c a m e ten minutes from time w h e n S a u n d e r ' s a c c u r a t e c r o s s was met by a powerful h e a d e r from C a r r w h i c h tore into the net. F o r the r e m a i n d e r of the m a t c h , the IC defence, in w h i c h Griffiths was o u t s t a n d i n g , held out for another two p r e c i o u s league points.

T E A M : years, Curran, Beer, Armstrong, Lakin, Griffiths, Esberger, Wiggins, Veenman, Saunders, Carr.

Tim Beer

Football Fourths T H E visitors arrived late to find the F o u r t h s w i t h o u t a referee, a g a i n ! A f t e r t h e F i f t h s substitute a g r e e d to officiate, G u y s k i c k e d off. With a very s t r o n g c r o s s w i n d a n d greasy s u r f a c e there was little c o n s t r u c t i v e football p l a y e d by either side.

IC a p p e a r e d c o m f o r t a b l e b u t G u y s e q u a l i s e d t o w a r d s the e n d of the half, w h e n a weak g o a l k i c k a l l o w e d an o p p o s i n g forward

a free short from the e d g e of the box.

After half-time IC c o n t i n u e d to g o forward i n s e a r c h of t h e l e a d , G u y s h a d t h e o c c a s i o n a l break but H u g h C h o w n i m p r e s s e d in d e f e n c e for the F o u r t h s .

IC regained the lead twenty minutes into the half w h e n H a w a p r o d u c e d a g o o d turn a n d c r o s s w h i c h fell kindly for B U R N S w h o s c o r e d from six y a r d s . T h i s goal settled the m a t c h a n d gave the F o u r t h s revenge for their o n l y league defeat of the s e a s o n .

T E A M : Gilbert, Maddy, Lay, Chown, Milner, BURNS, Buckley, Graves, McNicholas, Dolan, BURNS, Hawa.

RCS Hockey L A S T W E D N E S D A Y , R C S H o c k e y put in a heartening p e r f o r m a n c e that m a d e a m o c k e r y of c l a i m s that the team is d e a d . In a potentially difficult m a t c h away to K i n g s C o l l , w h o are having a s u c c e s s f u l s e a s o n , R C S d o m i n a t e d the first half-hour of the m a t c h and were very u n l u c k y not to s c o r e on n u m e r o u s o c c a s i o n s .

L o o k i n g s o l i d if u n s p e c t a c u l a r in defence, R C S attacked confidently with latest recruit h a r d i n g and 'old h a n d ' Farrington l o o k i n g sharp. H o w e v e r , as frustration grew, the m a t c h deteriorated a n d play b e c a m e s c r a p p y .

In t h e s e c o n d h a l f , K i n g s c o n f i d e n c e i n c r e a s e d and while R C S were still m a k i n g s c o r i n g o p p o r t u n i t i e s , it w a s K i n g s w h o s c o r e d three g o a l s in their best patch in the m i d d l e of the s e c o n d half. M e n t i o n must be m a d e of Steve Leinster's magnificent hook shot s a v i n g a certain goal a n d of the mystery a p p e a r a n c e of a ' d a m a g e d ' kidney in one of the K i n g s defenders.

A l t o g e t h e r , this was a highly e n c o u r a g i n g p e r f o r m a n c e a n d one w h i c h promises victory for R C S in 1981.

T E A M : Williams, Rogers, Bird, Leinster, Sharpe, Pound, Baxter, Taylor, Farrington, Harding, Purdy, Morgan.

S a t u r d a y , J a n u a r y 17, 1981 Football IC 4th X I v Kings (Burns 2) 2-4 Hockey IC 1st XI v Gerrards Cross 2-0

Lawn Tennis T R I A L S will be held on T h u r s d a y , J a n u a r y 29 a n d T h u r s d a y , F e b r u a r y 5. A n y o n e w h o wishes to be c o n s i d e r e d for this year's mens team must attend both s e s s i o n s . A team of eight will be p i c k e d , a n d team training will c o m m e n c e o n the T h u r s d a y after. T h e trials will be held at the L i n s t e a d C o u r t s a n d will start at 12:45pm s h a r p .

A l s o , will all t h o s e involved in the R o u n d R o b i n C o m p e t i t i o n please hurry up a n d get their matches p l a y e d .

Tony Tsoukkas Captain

Snooker A F T E R an a b s e n c e of a few weeks y o u r s n o o k e r c o r r e s p o n d a n t is back a n d on the p a g e s of F E L I X ( h o p e f u l l y ) . A l o t of movement has o c c u r e d at the top of the U L L e a g u e . It appears as if our C team leads, followed by the A team, a n d then the B team.

S o IC are d o i n g extremely well, e s p e c i a l l y the B team w h o are n o w fighting back a n d look like s n a t c h i n g the title.

T h e A team (a spent force) were the o n l y IC team to lose last week. T h e brilliant B team w e r e b o u y a n t a f t e r b e a t i n g L S E by f o u r frames to one. K e l l y lost our o n l y frame a n d his p o s i t i o n in the team is being s c r u t i n i z e d

by P r o u d l o v e T h e C team w o n five-nil against B e d f o r d C o l l e g e . T h i s has put them on top of the league, however they meet the o n - f o r m B team in a few weeks.

FELIX, January

23,1981

Ten-Pin Bowling O N S a t u r d a y (17th) the B o w l i n g C l u b p l a y e d their home match against Portsmouth P o l y t e c h n i c , w h o had w o n the away tie 10-0.

T h e result of this latest meeting was a g a i n a defeat but by 8-2, with the A team w i n n i n g the. two points. T h e i r 4-0 victory rarely s e e m e d in doubt with g o o d performances by N g , L a u and C o o k , p l a y i n g his first A team game. T h e B t e a m a l s o l o o k e d set f o r v i c t o r y a f t e r w i n n i n g their first game, but this w a s d u e to bad b o w l i n g by the P o r t s m o u t h side. T h i s q u i c k l y i m p r o v e d a n d the end result was a 3-1 defect, despite H a r r i s o n s h o w i n g the form w h i c h c o u l d have seen him in the A team, an offer he d e c l i n e d . Q u i n n b o w l e d very well for the C team, w h i c h i n c l u d e d A n n S u d e l l , an o v e r s p i l l f r o m t h e l a d i e s , but c o u l d not prevent a 4-0 defeat. T h e ladies also suffered this fate, d e s p i t e g o o d i n d i v i d u a l p e r f o r mances.

Future events i n c l u d e d a h o m e m a t c h this S a t u r d a y (24th) against S o u t h a m p t o n a n d the B r u n e i D o u b l e s T o u r n a m e n t on the 31st. T h e s i n g l e s c o m p e t i t i o n s h o u l d have started last W e d n e s d a y , but late entries will be a c c e p t e d next W e d n e s d a y (28th), everybody w e l c o m e .

J Knight Captain

Running I M P E R I A L C O L L E G E a n n u a l l y s e n d s a team to the illustrious B a t a v i e r e n r a c e in H o l l a n d .

T h e race is a relay with 25 stages between 2 and 5 miles long, each runner being a c c o m p a n i e d by a t e a m - m a t e on a bicycle.

Last year, w e f i n i s h e d in a s u r p r i s e s e c o n d place out of 150 teams.

A s y o u c a n i m a g i n e , this is no o r d i n a r y race. It starts at m i d n i g h t as the first g r o u p of runners, j o g g e r s a n d s t r u g g l i n g S w e d e s sets off, a n d e n d s in t h e a f t e r n o o n in t h e expansive g r o u n d s of E i n s c h e d e University.

Its s t u d e n t s h o s t a m a s s i v e p a r t y in t h e e v e n i n g , p r o v i d i n g f o o d a n d a wide variety of m u s i c in the setting of their c a v e r n o u s u n i o n building.

T h i s year, the dates are A p r i l 23-26 a n d the cost s h o u l d be well under ÂŁ40 with a grant.

W e still need several more people to m a k e up the team, i n c l u d i n g three ladies and hopefully an e x t r a m i n i b u s d r i v e r . A n y o n e w h o is vaguely interested should contact Mark Thwaites, M e c h E n g 3.

Trampolining F O R T H O S E of y o u w h o like b o u n c i n g up and d o w n — IC T r a m p o C l u b has got off the g r o u n d at last. W e now meet every W e d n e s day at 5:00pm in the C o u r t a u l d H a l l , Q u e e n Elizabeth's C o l l e g e , C a m p d e n Hill R o a d (Just off K e n s i n g t o n H i g h Street).

W a r n i n g : D o not ask the o l d lady in the foyer of Q E C for d i r e c t i o n s , or she will turn y o u away ( Q E C p e o p l e are a l w a y s c o m p l a i n i n g about her). J u s t walk i n , turn right and go up to the first floor.

ACC Grant

Estimates

- January

31

Even with an excellent t u r n o u t of over thirty p e r s o n s at t h e l a s t A C C M e e t i n g s o m e notable c l u b s were u n - r e p r e s e n t e d . W o u l d all c l u b s please s e n d in their grant estimates to, or contact, Nick M o r t o n before J a n u a r y 31, 1981.

Last s e a s o n ' s C r i c k e t C l u b c o l o u r s were also awarded: F u l l : N P r i c e , M E l l a c o t t , P Slator.

Half: A Harris, I C r o w e , D Salter, J White, G S i m p k i n , D Everett.

Page 7

UGM Quandary Last week, F E L I X informed L i z L i n d s a y that the bylaw changes discussed at the last U G M of last t e r m c o u l d not be read as too m u c h time w ou ld have elapsed.

Forty-two O n M o n d a y night, the Beit telly lounge was c r o w d e d as usual for the weekly dose of the Hitchhiker's Guide. A few of the seats were o c c u p i e d by non-Beit residents m u c h to the a n n o y a n c e of o n e Beit resident w h o singled out one of the non-residents and d e m a n d e d that he vacate the chair. W h i l e I don't agree with his bully-boy tactics he has a point w h i c h I must c o n c e d e is difficult to m a k e in any other way.

B u t o n the other h a n d , there has been n o U n i o n telly lounge for s o m e time so it is only to be e x p e c t e d that the Beit L o u n g e s h o u l d be used as s u c h . L e t ' s save all this hassle a n d refurnish the U n i o n telly lounge with a telly.

A f t e r all, every week we hear h o w many more thousands of p o u n d s Rae Snee has h a d t o c o u n t from the L o w e r L o u n g e gaming machines.

W h i l e I r e a l i s e that the last telly was vandalised, I'm sure that m e m b e r s of U n i o n C o u n c i l will be only too willing to perform " t e l l y d u t y " n o w that M r P a s s m o r e has w i t h d r a w n bar duty.

What's On

S o t h e U G M w a s b r o u g h t f o r w a r d to F e b r u a r y 5. N o w , due to a number of things s u c h as F E L I X not being able to publicise this last week, the lack of any U n i o n publicity, the motions deadline having passed and the C N D lecture (which w ou ld have provided most of the audience if last term's U G M is anything to go by) it seems likely that this next U G M will be inquorate. A n d those bylaw changes will S T I L L not have their s e c o n d reading. O n e of these is the motion to delete I C W A from the bylaws; a debate w h i c h has dragged on for far too long. I C W A is simply clutching at straws for its survival — it c o u l d have survived by an i n v a l i d s e c o n d r e a d i n g , a n d it w i l l n o w probably survive due to an inquorate U G M .

I C W A , a s it s t a n d s at p r e s e n t , is n o t a c h i e v i n g a n y t h i n g a s it c a n n o t m u s t e r a quorate meeting, so survival in its present form is a pointless existence.

Friday, January 30,1981 •Socialist Society Bookstall, lunchtime, Sherfield JCR. Saturday, January 31 •Disco, 8:00pm, Commonwealth Hall, Cartwright Gdns, WC1. Bar(s). 8:00pm till late. Admission 50p. Nearest tubes: Kings Cross, Russell Square.

Sunday, February 1 •Wargames Club Meeting, 1:00pm, Southside Upper Lounge.

Monday, February 2 •Black Information Unit, 6:30pm, Upper Lounge.

•Les Barker and Mrs Ackroyd, 8:00pm, Union Refec, 80p (40p for members).

Tuesday, February 3 •Mech Eng Soc Lecture on the Fusion Reactor by Maurice George from Harwell.

•Riding Club Meeting, 1:00pm, Elec Eng 1110.

•STOIC Transmission, 1:00pm, JCR and Halls.

•Call My Bluff (using Yiddish and Ladino words), 1:25pm, Huxley 340. Teams are: Union Exec v Jewish Soc. •Railway Society Presidential Address, Work of a Railway Engineer, 5:40pm, Maths 340.

•Discussion on the subject USSR: What went wrong?.

6:30pm, Green Comm Room.

•SF SOC presents Santa Claus Conquers The Martians, 6:30p, Mech Eng 220. 50p non-members or 20p members.

•Photosoc Lecture, Landscape Photography - Across Canada

by S Norris, 7:15pm, Min Tech 303 RSM. All welcome.

T h e only R E A L solution is to get rid of it and f o r m a m o r e r e a l i s t i c w o m e n ' s g r o u p , if, indeed, s u c h a group is desired at all.

Incidentally, I don't see W I S T as any k i n d of answer either — they are simply a b u n c h of female fanatics.

Old Preversions J o h n P a s s m o r e m a y w e l l t h i n k t h a t the standard of the food has i m p r o v e d since he c a m e here, but h o w c a n he say that one of the m a i n f e a t u r e s of t h i s i m p r o v e m e n t is the i n t r o d u c t i o n of the c o o k - f r e e z e s y s t e m ? I w o u l d say that this has only served to make matters worse. M r M o o n e y ' s largely incompetent staff just can't handle it — resulting in the k i n d of cook-freeze abuse we reported last term with mouldy food.

E v e n M r M o o n e y admits (see F E L I X 569) that the c o o k - f r e e z e s y s t e m has been " a limited success . . . . it has not been used to its full potential" a n d that he has bad staff.

Wednesday, February 4 •Wargames Club Meeting, 1:00pm, SCR, Union.

Thursday, February 5 •Granada TV's video-film on the international clothing industry, issued by the World Development Movement The Shirt Of) Our Backs, 1:30pm, Maths Lecture Theatre 213.

•Lecture followed by discussion, Towards the final abyss: a scientists view of the nuclear arms raceby Prof M J Pentz (Open University) with Prof T W B Kibble in the Chair, 1:30pm, Physics Lecture Theatre 1.

•Hang Gliding Club Meeting, 12:30pm, above Stan's Bar. •STOIC Transmission, 1:00pm and 6:00pm, JCR and Halls. With News-Break.

•IC Gliding Club Meeting, 5:30pm, Aero 254.

• U L U Gaysoc Meeting, 8:00pm, Room 2D, ULU, Malet Street.

Stop Press T h e B l o o d D o n i n g session detailed in the I C C A G article in this F E L I X has just been cancelled.

I don't k n o w if any of y o u k n o w this, but there h a s been m u c h c o n t r o v e r s y recently o v e r adverse criticism of C o l l e g e catering. S o to prevent V i c t o r M a n d his team from b e c o m i n g excessively p a r a n o i d , this week's p u z z l e is t o offer t h e m encouragement a n d publicity.

In the addition s u m below, e a c h different letter represents a different digit; a n d any given letter, whenever it o c c u r s , always represents the same digit. P u n c t u a t i o n s h o u l d be ignored.

M

R

O O M R O E A

N E L L

L O !

E Y A T L S , L Y A

T R E A T M M !

M M !

E A T A T M FELIX SWT

is published 2BB.

(589

O O N E by the Editor

5111 ext.

Y

Thanks to Patrick, Steve, D a v e , S h a n n e , M a r k , C o l i n , P h i l , S c a r a m o u c h e , Ian a n d M a z .

Solutions, comments, criticisms to me c / o FELIX by 1:00pm o n Wednesday. The winner will receive a choice of £5 cash (donated by Mend-A-Bike) or a slice of THE minced beef roll.

Solution to Last Puzzle 6oz, 7oz, 9oz.

O t h e r solutions need a l o z weight, w h i c h "I manage without".

C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s to W i n g L a i , P h y s i c s 1, who can collect his prize from the office.

In this c o l u m n , I try to set puzzles w h i c h c a n n o t easily be solved by c o m p u t e r . I can't prevent people using c o m p u t e r s , of course, but I c a n offer the following d i s c o u r a g e ments w h i c h apply to most of m y puzzles, a n d especially to this week's.

!

S

for and on behalf of the Imperial

1048/int.

2881)

Copyright

Firstly, the 'correct' a p p r o a c h will lead to the solution in less time t h a n it takes to write a n d debug an efficient c o m p u t e r p r o g r a m , although the correct a p p r o a c h will not be easy to spot. A n d secondly, pr ogr ams w h i c h solve p u z z l e s c a n w a s t e s e v e r a l m i n u t e s of c o m p u t e r time, because they usually need several nested loops.

H a v i n g said all this, if anyone d o e s solve a S c a r a m o u c h e p u z z l e o n a c o m p u t e r (either this week or any week) I'd be interested if they w o u l d enclose a listing of their p r o g r a m with their solution together with a note of the amount of C P U time they used in debugging and running it.

T h e last two puzzles have been fairly easy, so this week you've got M o o n e y meat rolls to c o n t e n d with; y o u won't find anything m u c h tougher than that.

A n d m y granny has a s k e d me to pass o n her thanks to all those w h o wished her well after the last p u z z l e ; unfortunately she feels she is now too old to appear in any m o r e J a m e s B o n d films.

F o r the sake of pedants I suppose I should also indicate that the numbers are integers in base 10, a n d the letter O does not necessarily represent 0.

Y o u r task is t o reconstruct the s u m .

FEUX

1981.

College Editor:

Union S.J.

Publications Marshall,

Board,

Advertising

and is printed Manager:

by the

MA.

Union

Smith.

Print

Unit,

Registered

Prince at

the

Consort GPO

as

Road, a

London,

newspaper.

DESIGN US A R A D A R SYSTEM T H A T C A N TELL A FOXTROT FROM A TANGO

6 MILES HI GH

Spotting submarines is a tall enough order for any airborne radar system.

But the A E W Nimrod's radar can actually identify different classes of submarine.

H a n d l i n g a design brief for such a system would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience for most people.

But to the engineers at M a r c o n i A v i o n i c s it's an everyday occurence. Because unless a problem borders o n the impossible, it seldom comes to us i n the first place.

If you expect rather more than the commonplace in your electronics, computing or related career, you should see the M a r c o n i Avionics graduate presentation this term.

Your careers office has the details.

O r write to Sheila M i l b a n k , Personnel Officer, M a r c o n i Avionics Limited, Elstree Way, Borehamwood, Herts W D 6 1 R X .

Tel: 01-953 2030.

I S

W H E R E T H E INCREDIBLE BECOMESC O M M O N P L A C E

CITY and GUILDS UNION proudly presents

e

DINNER AND DANCE l

£25 per D O U B L E ticket Available N O W in Guilds Office.

Price of ticket includes a bottle of wine and unlimited corkage.

Half price cocktails beforehand in Sloanes.

DINNER SUITS

Graduates Start at the Core of M O S Technology, The kind of involvement you enjoy at University— * particularly in your final year—is seldom repeated once you enter industry. But at Motorola we go to great lengths to keep you under the same kind of pressure by giving you immediate responsibility.

Motorola's East Kilbride facility is the largest MOS house in Europe and to help us maintain our impressive record of innovation and growth we need more men and women Graduates with exceptional talent and motivation.

To find out more, pick up our company brochure from your Careers Office or write for an application form to: Graduate Recruitment, Motorola Limited, Colvilles Road, East Kilbride.

Or telephone East Kilbride 39101.

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