http://www.felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1981/1981_0577_A

Founded i n 1949

The Newspaper of Imperial College Union

Lord Flowers of Queensgate, Rector of Imperial College, chastises Government on Overseas Students fees issue Lord Flowers, reaffirmed the THE RECTOR, aims of Imperial College in his address to open Week last Monday.

fundamental International

I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e was founded to give a h i g h level o f scientific t r a i n i n g to students f r o m a l l over the w o r l d . F o r that reason it h a d governors representing different countries, e.g. A u s t r a l i a a n d C a n a d a .

T h e C o l l e g e was o r i g i n a l l y i n t e n d e d to serve students from E u r o p e , then the C o m m o n w e a l t h , a n d n o w the whole w o r l d , a n d there have been overseas students here since its f o r m a t i o n .

T h i s year there are 771 overseas students, w h i c h is a 20% r e d u c t i o n on the last session. These students n o w comprise o n l y 17% o f the student body. I n 1 9 7 8 / 9 this percentage was 23%. T h i s represents a d r a m a t i c change, a n d distorts the purpose a n d c h a r a c t e r o f the College.

T h e r e are presently students from eighty-five countries, s p e a k i n g seventy-five different languages. T h i s m i x of n a t i o n a l i t i e s is i n v a l u a b l e for a c a d e m i c a d v a n c e m e n t . It p r o v i d e s a n i n c e n t i v e f o r s o l v i n g p r o b l e m s a l l over the w o r l d . It cultivates u n d e r s t a n d i n g a n d tolerance, a n d leads i n d i r e c t l y towards w o r l d peace.

S o m e a d v a n c e d courses are r u n specifically for overseas students, a n d m o r e w o u l d be i f needs c o u l d be i d e n t i f i e d . I n the past, a c a d e m i c staff have been encouraged to d o w h a t interests t h e m . I n future needs must be satisfied first.

T u r n i n g to finance, the R e c t o r said that the G o v e r n m e n t expects ÂŁ5,000 p e r overseas students to be p a i d . I C lost i n the last year o r so a q u a r t e r of its overseas students, a n d m a y c o n t i n u e to lose more. H e r e g r e t t e d t h e i m p o s i t i o n o f h i g h fees, b u t h a d to r e c o g n i s e t h e G o v e r n m e n t ' s policies of c u t t i n g p u b l i c s p e n d i n g . H e a d d e d " t o us the i m p o s i t i o n of h i g h fees to reduce the cost to the t a x p a y e r is administratively clumsy, educationally harmful, a n d diplomatically disastrous".

In L o n d o n there is a h i g h p r o p o r t i o n o f overseas students a n d the consequences o f h i g h e r fees were a p p a l l i n g , especially i n m e d i c i n e . " I c an n ot believe that such insensitive foolishness c a n c o n t i n u e for l o n g . I believe the G o v e r n m e n t w i l l see the e r r o r o f its w a y s " . "....achievement

Imperial College D o n accused of being a nurd!

F O R M O S T of this t e r m , residents of the L i n s t e a d E x t e n s i o n have been capturing the interest of many I C students with delightfully cryptic little messages in their b e d r o o m windows.

M o s t of these have been relatively harmless a n d juvenile s u c h as " F a l m o u t h S u c k s " — a n early classic. B u t T u e s d a y last week, for a brief p e r i o d , t h e message " M o n r o ' s a n u r d " w a s seen glaring out across the gardens (captured b y o u r photographer above).

It w a s first thought that the snide slogan m a y have referred to a L i n s t e a d resident but it was later revealed that the reason it was r e m o v e d so q u i c k ly was because it referred t o D r D o n M u n r o , Senior W a r d e n and C h a i r m a n of i h e Residence C o m m i t t e e .

M o s t of the L i n s t e a d residents have refused t o speak to F E L I X a n d even w h e n faced with the photographic evidence refuse to c o m m e n t .

H o w e v e r , o n e L i n s t e a d resident t o l d us that the S u b - w a r d e n h a d advised t h e m t o take d o w n the letters before D r M o n r o o r D r C a r a b i n e (Linstead Warden) saw them.

No. 577

and

promise

"

T h e C o l l e g e a d m i t s students o n the basis of a c h i e v e m e n t a n d promise, w i t h o u t r e g a r d to the student's beliefs. T h e C o l l e g e does not necessarily accept the beliefs or actions o f its h o m e a n d overseas students. T h e y are less concerned w i t h the beliefs o f a student's parents, sponsers o r government. T h e r i g h t to c o m e here must be s u p p o r t e d , no m a t t e r h o w strong o u r o w n belief. " T h i s basic p r i n c i p l e must be u p h e l d " . T h e C o l l e g e , as a n i n s t i t u t i o n , is not e m p o w e r e d to take sides, a n d w i l l achieve n o t h i n g i f it does. B y u p h o l d i n g t h e right o f the i n d i v i d u a l , a n d the rule of reason, we c a n help m e n a n d w o m e n to see the folly o f conflict a n d oppression.

In answer to questions, L o r d F l o w e r s d o u b t e d w h e t h e r overseas students w o u l d go back to b e i n g c h a r g e d the same as h o m e students.

H a l f the purpose o f a u n i v e r s i t y , especially I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e , is research, a n d the G o v e r n m e n t ' s policies were r d u c i n g the n u m b e r of overseas students o n these courses. H e hoped h o w e v e r that I C w o u l d be w e l l p o s i t i o n e d to take a d v a n t a g e o f a n y u p t u r n i n the e c o n o m y by h a v i n g m o r e research sponsored b y i n d u s t r y .

Friday, February 20,1981

Free!

Dear Steve I n y o u r e d i t o r i a l last week y o u offered the view that w i t h e d u c a t i o n o f the general p u b l i c o n matters n u c l e a r (presumably a l o n g the lines of 'Protest and S u r v i v e ' ) , a n u c l e a r w a r need not have the h o r r i f i c consequences depicted i n ' T h e W a r G a m e ' .

O n this m a t t e r , the M i n i s t e r of State for H o m e Affairs estimated ( M a r c h 16, 1980) that f o l l o w i n g the measures set out in 'Protest a n d S u r v i v e ' m i g h t reduce the d e a t h t o l l (in " t h e sort of n u c l e a r attack w h i c h we t h i n k we c a n e x p e c t " ) f r o m 4 0 m to 2 5 m .

I n a d d i t i o n to this, shortages of u n c o n t a m i n a t e d food a n d water; d e s t r u c t i o n of energy supplies a n d s a n i t a t i o n ; m i g r a t i o n of desperate refugees; w o u l d result i n violence, disease epidemics, a n d perhaps s t a r v a t i o n — more deaths a n d mass m i s e r y.

T h u s , whilst e d u c a t i o n o n c i v i l defence is of v i t a l i m p o r t a n c e , it is a d a n g e r o u s d e c e p t i o n t o b e l i e v e t h a t it c o u l d e n s u r e , a n y t h i n g but a shattered and b r u t a l existence for those r e m a i n ing.

T r a g i c a l l y , the government's present utterances o n the subject a t t e m p t to h u s h people into a resigned acceptance o f nuclear w a r , a n d their ' c i v i l defence' p r e p a r a t i o n s h a v e m o r e to do w i t h m a i n t a i n i n g martial law, t h a n s a v i n g lives.

A s ever, the o n l y insurance against the effects o f n u c l e a r w a r is never to h a v e such a w a r .

Yours sincerely Jonathan Lawrence Physics 3 Dear Sir O n T h u r s d a y , F e b r u a r y 12, I a t t e n d e d the M o p s o c lecture g i v e n b y D r M a g n u s P y k e on the " U n d e r s t a n d a b i l i t y of Science"

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A p p r o x i m a t e l y twenty minutes into the talk I noticed that the person in front of me a p p e a r e d to be w r i t i n g a report on what D r P y k e was saying. B e i n g n a t u r a l l y curious I read some of it a n d c o n c l u d e d that it was factually accurate but very b a d l y structured.

O n F r i d a y I read the F E L I X lead article w h i c h was exactly the same report I h a d seen being w r i t t e n d u r i n g the talk. I w i l l repeat that lor emphasis w r i t t e n D U R I N G t h e t a l k . T h i s is extremely bad p r a c t i c e a n d a r e a d i n g of the a r t i c l e reveals it to be a n a p p a l l i n g piece of r e p o r t i n g c h a r a c t e r i z e d by adjacent sentences w h i c h have absolutely no r e l a t i o n to each other. T h e piece d i d not a p p e a r to have been revised or r e w r i t t e n a n d it seerm questionable if it h a d ever been r e r e a d by the i n c o m p e t e n t reporter w h o wrote, nay h a c k e d , this piece of illiterate d r i v e l .

If y o u r newspaper c a n do no better t h a n p u b l i s h such v e r b a l garbage as the m a i n article of the week then I h u m b l y suggest that it gives u p a l l such r e p o r t i n g a n d confine itself to the puerile gossip c o l u m n s m o r e s u i t e d to y o u r reporter's prose style.

Tours sincerely C M Jeffcock ( M r ) Dear Sir I n c l u d e d i n F E L I X 577 was a letter w r i t t e n by myself a n d three others, w h i c h y o u c r e d i t e d to R u t h H i l d e b r a n d o n l y . Perhaps one has to be a ' U n i o n persona l i t y ' to have a letter p u b l i s h e d in F E L I X , or w o u l d the i n c l u s i o n of t w o other names have r u i n e d the effect of y o u r snide e d i t o r i a l note?

(Signatures unreadable - Ed.) Dear Sir I a m w r i t i n g against the R o y a l S c h o o l of M i n e s b e i n g a l l o w e d to put o n t h e i r " a d u l t e n t e r t a i n m e n t " on I m p e r i a l College ground. Both women and men a t t e n d this C o l l e g e a n d both s h o u l d be a l l o w e d the same rights a n d status. P r e s e n t i n g w o m e n as mere sex objects is d e g r a d i n g a n d i n s u l t i n g to the w o m e n at this C o l l e g e w h o c e r t a i n l y d o not a t t e n d it i n t h i s r o l e . M i n e s p o i n t e d out last year that a m a l e s t r i p p e r was i n c l u d e d i n the event, w h i c h c o u l d thus not be v i e w e d as sexist. H o w e v e r , f r o m a W I S T survey previous the event last year, we f o u n d out that the a u d i e n c e was very p r e d o m i n a t l y m a l e a n d the m a l e stripper was considered as a " b i t of a j o k e " .

W e are w e l l a w a r e that the m e n to w o m e n r a t i o is rather large b u t w o u l d like to suggest that this p r o b l e m w i l l not d i m i n i s h if I C continues to offer services w h i c h u n d e r m i n e the i m a g e of w o m e n . M e n w h o c a n n o t cope w i t h the p r o b l e m on

a personal basis s h o u l d go a n d get r i d of t h e i r f r u s t r a t i o n elsewhere. A f t e r a l l L o n d o n is full of o p p o r t u n i t i e s . H o w e v e r , a w a r n i n g against this k i n d of o p p o r t u n i t y : it is debasing for m e n to have to a c t u a l l y pay to see a w o m a n naked.

If anyone feels strongly enough to protest against this event, they are w e l c o m e to come a n d join the picket on F e b r u a r y 27 at 7:00pm.

O t h e r people are i n v i t e d to t h i n k of the i m p l i c a t i o n s of this " a d u l t e n t e r t a i n m e n t " a n d to try a n d see further t h a n b e i n g " o n e of the l a d s " . O f course, I w o u l d be very interested in the reply of anyone w h o c a n justify the event on other t h a n selfish grounds.

WIST Dear Sir If it only costs £10 for I C U to affiliate to C N D ( F E L I X 576) t h e n w h y c a n ' t we h a v e a c o l l e c t i o n a r o u n d College (which w o u l d w i t h o u t doubt raise the amount very quickly). This w o u l d surely be a simple solution to the ' U l t r a V i r e s ' p r o b l e m since then the m o n e y w o u l d be c o m i n g out of ' p e r s o n a l ' r a t h e r t h a n 'trust' funds a n d this w o u l d be a l l o w a b l e as far as I c a n see from y o u r account of the 1972 court case. Is it really that simple or have I misunderstood some v i t a l point?

I can't help t h i n k i n g that the more m i l i t a r i s t i c a n d conservative members of o u r U n i o n are o n l y too p l e a s e d to see s u c h c o m p l i c a t i o n s b l o c k i n g the r e a l i z a t i o n of what was after a l l a U G M d e c i s i o n to a f f i l i a t e to CND. Yours sincerely Mark Brown LS2 Sir T L and U n i o n Democracy L o v e r s U n i t e ! N e v e r let it be said that a reasonable idea wasn't tried.

A n y o n e i n t e r e s t e d i n last m i n u t e d i s t r i b u t i o n before the H u s t i n g s U G M on M a r c h 5, or t a k i n g a few p o s t e r s to t h e i r h o m e / f l a t / b e d r o o m wall can contact me early next week a n d the e x t r a posters or leaflets w i l l (semi) m i r a c u l o u s l y appear.

O f c o u r s e , e v e r y o n e at the U G M w i l l be a m a z e d a n d a s t o u n d e d at t h e s a b b a t i c a l candidates' wit and repartee (nudge, w i n k ) .

Dave Wheatley c / o I C U n i o n Office Dear Sir I s h o u l d like to take this o p p o r t u n i t y to p u t s t r a i g h t a few erroneous details c o n t a i n e d in the a r t i c l e w r i t t e n by I C M C N e w s A g e n c y i n last week's F E L I X . In particular, I should like to point out to the M o u n t a i n e e r i n g C l u b that since it was

FEUX, February 20,1981

they w h o followed us into the p e t r o l station, then this w o u l d indicate that it was S & G w h o first h a d the idea to visit W a l e s , a n d M o u n t a i n e e r i n g C l u b , short of ideas, a n d r e a d i n g F E L I X the week before, seized on the idea themselves, a n d followed us to Wales.

C o n t i n u i n g to correct further details of the a r t i c l e , it s h o u l d be p o i n t e d out that the " p u n y j a l o p y " was i n fact G G P , a U n i o n m i n i b u s (Annie take note), a n d that it h a d been fitted w i t h a new engine, a n d was thus b e i n g r u n i n . Indeed, A n n i e h a d given e x p l i c i t instructions not to exceed 6 0 m p h , a n d the tachog r a p h fitted proves this to be the case.

A f t e r w h a t c a n o n l y be desc r i b e d as a p i e c e o f r e c k l e s s d r i v i n g i n order to prove some point in o v e r t a k i n g whilst other vehicles were a p p r o a c h i n g f r o m the opposite d i r e c t i o n , M o u n t a i n e e r i n g C l u b d i d not p u l l a w a y , n o r d i d S & G give chase at a l l , but r a t h e r merely c o n t i n u e d at a sedate pace, k e e p i n g u p w i t h M o u n t a i n e e r s w i t h perfect ease a n d c o n t r o l . W e were, however, surprised at their route, choosing the A 5 instead of M 6 . W e chose the latter, a n d a r r i v e d back at the U n i o n at 12:30am. M o u n taineers, w h a t were y o u doing?

A s to the a l l e g a t i o n of followi n g t h e m , w h a t went w r o n g this weekend, or d i d n ' t y o u k n o w we went to M e n d i p s ?

S & G Press Officer Sir T h e G o v e r n m e n t is at present bulldozing through Parliament a b i l l to reform N a t i o n a l i t y L a w .

It seems that the indecent haste is to take the m i n d s of the faithful off the e c o n o m i c position by an a p p e a l to p r i m i t i v e r a c i s m .

C i t z e n s h i p of the U K or C o l o n i e s was recognised u n d e r t h e 1 9 4 8 N a t i o n a l i t y A c t as c o n f e r r i n g considerable rights on peoples e x p l o i t e d by I m p e r i a l B r i t a i n w i t h r e g a r d to f u t u r e r e l a t i o n s h i p s w i t h i n the new Commonwealth. However the i n c r e a s i ng conciousness of black i m m i g r a n t s i n this c o u n t r y of c i v i l rights a n d c u l t u r a l needs b e i n g o p e n l y or t a c i t l y d e n i e d , allied with a misguided and misunderstood r a c i s m on the side of m a n y whites, has led to the i m m i g r a t i o n acts a n d i n c r e a s i n g harrassment of blacks w h o are legally present i n the U K — w h i c h is n o w b e i n g c y n i c a l l y legitimized in a bill which amounts to a p o l i c y of i n d u c e d r e p a t r i a t i o n of black people — m a n y of w h o m have served their new a d o p t e d ; c o m m u n i t y more t h a n adequately.

It is proposed to i n t r o d u c e three classes of c i t i z e n s h i p — o n l y one of w h i c h gives r e a l rights to residence a n d services i n

t h i s c o u n t r y . A c c e s s to t h i s ' B r i t i s h C i t z e n s h i p ' is by carefully designed, hereditary a n d l o y a l y qualifications a n d effectively for anyone without British born grandparents is entirely at the H o m e Secretary's discretion.

H e n c e a series of f u n d a m e n t a l objections to the proposals c a n be made 1. B y d e f i n i n g the classes of c i t i z e n s h i p , a c c e s s to b a s i c c i v i l rights i n the U K w i l l be c o n t r o l l e d t h r o u g h a pass system w h i c h w i l l i n e v i t a b l y be m o r e zealously a p p l i e d to blacks.

2. T h e A n c e s t r a l q u a l i f i c a t i o n for citzenship a n d a p r o posed difference i n treatment between even the first class citizens w h o a c q u i r e d the title t h r o u g h n a t u r a l i z a t i o n or by b i r t h w i l l be essentially racist i n practice.

3. T h e i l l - d e f i n e d p r i n c i p l e s by w h i c h the H o m e Secretary w i l l e x e r c i s e h is d i s c r e t i o n o v e r q u a l i f i c a t i o n for first class c i t i z e n s h i p w i l l be s i m p l y a r b i t a r y c o n t r o l o v e r the destiny of b l a c k i m m i g r a n t s .

4. T h e o v e r a l l i n c r e a s e d c o n t r o l of blacks t h r o u g h these measures p a n d e r to the worst fascist i n s t i n c t s of a m i n o r i t y i n B r i t a i n a n d are a i m e d at i n d u c i n g r e p a t r i a t i o n of b l a c k i m m i g r a n t s .

T h e relevance of a l l this to I C students is: a T h a t it c o u l d s e r i o u s l y affect a n y C o m m o n w e a l t h overseas students here w h o m a y wish to- stay i n the U K after finishing. b N o n - o p p o s i t i o n of an y section of the c o m m u n i t y to these proposals i m p l i e s acceptance of a n d c o l l a b o r a t i o n with racism.

Anne Gallops Home H R H Princess A n n e , w h o once c l a i m e d that " g o i n g to university is a m u c h overrated p a s t i m e " is the next C h a n c e l l o r of L o n d o n U n i v e r s i t y . V o t i n g closed at the e n d of last week a n d the result was a n n o u n c e d o n T u e s d a y . T h e total votes for each c a n d i d a t e were Princess A n n e , 23,951, J a c k Jones, 10,507, N e l s o n M a n d e l a , 7,199.

T h i s is the first time i n the U n i v e r s i t y ' s h i s t o r y that the election has been contested. A f t e r Princess A n n e was n o m i n a t e d , the n a m e of e x - T U C leader J a c k

War Game Packed Out T H E R E C E N T s h o w i n g of the controversial film " T h e W a r G a m e " a t t r a c t e d large audiences this week. O n T u e s d a y , Physics L e c t u r e T h e a t r e 1 was c r o w d e d b e y o n d lire regulations w h i c h w o u l d have resulted i n some e m b a r r a s s e d faces s h o u l d the four-minute w a r n i n g have sounded. A s a result of this the f i l m was repeated on W e d n e s d a y a n d also relayed to R o o m 213 i n the H u x l e y B u i l d i n g by m o n i t o r . " T h e W a r G a m e " was m a d e in 1965 a n d was b a n n e d by the B B C . T h e C N D G r o u p has organised a p e t i t i o n to get the film s h o w n o n televsion.

Jones a n d of black nationalist leader N e l s o n M a n d e l a were also p u t f o r w a r d , a n d these h e r e caused some controversy. J a c k Jones was described by B e r n a r d L e v i n , . w r i t i n g in the Times, as a " k n a c k e r e d T U C w o r k h o r s e " , as L e v i n declared his support for Princess A n n e . A l s o i n the Times, a leader article last year suggested it w o u l d be no loss of face for Princess A n n e if she lost. M a n dela has been i n prison i n S o u t h A f r i c a for seventeen years, but his n o m i n a t o r s state d that his c a n d i d a t u r e was a serious one.

T h e position of C h a n c e l l o r is mainly f o r m a l i n c l u d i n g such things as p a r t i c i p a t i n g in degree a w a r d i n g ceremonies.

Elec Eng Pedal Home TWO ELECTRICAL Engine e r i n g four year course teams c a m e first a n d s e c o n d i n the G u i l d s pedal car competition h e l d earlier this week i n Princess G a r d e n s . A l t o g e t h e r ten teams entered the c o m p e t i t i o n , a n d the w i n n e r s w i l l receive a t r o p h y for their efforts. T h e r e were some h a i r - r a i s i n g incidents d u r i n g the r a c i n g , however. I n one heat, a g r o u p of school c h i l d r e n w a l k e d across the track, a n d i n a n o t h e r a l o r r y w i t h a skip d u m p e d its l o a p i n the m i d d l e of the course. T h e p e d d l e - c a r d r i v e r a v o i d e d it by s w e r v i n g into the r o a d . H o w e v e r , no one was h u r t , a n d no d a m a g e done.

Bye Sue

Simon Cox

CND

Group

Congratulations!

T h e r e are precious few m o r o n s at this C o l l e g e w h o c o u l d savage M o o n i e so b l a t a n t l y that a book Continued

on page 4

I C U W I L L not be a f f i l i a t i n g to C N D , such p a y m e n t b e i n g U l t r a V i r e s the C o n s t i t u t i o n .

M r Passmore was i n f o r m e d t h a t " t h e c o n s t i t u t i o n of the U n i o n does not p e r m i t it to m a k e any contribution from U n i o n funds to p r o m o t e a n y outside i n t e r e s t w h i c h m i g h t n o t be regarded as either c h a r i t a b l e or e d u c a t i o n a l " by the U n i o n ' s solicitors this week. A s a result, h e h a s a l s o t a k e n s t e p s to disaffiliate from the c a m p a i g n to legalise canabis. T h e solicitor a d d e d " t h e U n i o n ' s officers w o u l d be l i a b l e l o r m a k i n g such a p a y m e n t a n d the C o u r t w o u l d almost c e r t a i n l y grant a n i n j u n c tion against them restraining such a p a y m e n t even t h o u g h it was a p p r o v e d by a substantial m a j o r i t y of a f u l l U n i o n or Council meeting".

Rag Haul T h e inter-Hall R a g collection was h eld on S a t u r d a y , F e b r u a r y 7, a n d the f o l l o w i n g a m o u n t s were collected: F a l m o u t h £217, K e o g h £199, M i n i n g House £117, L i n s t e a d £98, S e l k i r k £38, S e l k i r k H a l l also collected £330 d u r i n g the R a g procession last t e r m , b u t t h i s does not go towards their total. O n the same day as the i n t e r - H a l l R a g , a n o n H a l l team from Chemistry 2 collected £267. T h e first p r i z e i n the c o m p e t i t i o n , a b a r r e l of beer, w i l l t h e r e f o r e be goingto F a l m o u t h H a l l f r o m the R a g Committee.

Wake up with IC Radio

c L e g i s l a t i o n like this lays the basis for pass laws a n d more a n d m o r e state c o n t r o l of the individual in Britain.

A l l the b l a c k organisations i n B r i t a i n are fighting the proposals.

It is the d u t y of everyone to j o i n w i t h t h e m a n d strongly d e m o n strate that we c o n d e m n r a c i s m i n a l l its forms; a n d to r e m o v e this c a n c e r f r o m o u r society for good.

Dear Sir W e w o u l d like to t h a n k M r K e i t h C l a r k e (Physics T e c h nician) a n d M r Geoff Reason ( M a t h s S n r T e c h n i c i a n ) for a l l their help i n s h o w i n g " T h e W a r G a m e " on Tuesday and Wednesday.

No to CND

A F O R T N I G H T A G O , a farewell c e l e b r a t i o n for Sue a n d G e o f f K a l i c i n s k i was h eld i n L i n s t e a d H a l l us Sue ended her period as S u b W a r d e n a n d her time at I C Sue used to be U n i o n W e l f a r e Officer a n d was later, w i t h Geoff, W a r d e n of S o u t h w e l l H o u s e in E v e l y n G a r d e n s . Sue m a n a g e d to p u t a t r e m e n d o u s a m o u n t of effort into her job w h i c h has resulted in m a n y of her ex-residents ( F E L I X E d i t o r i n c l u d e d ! t u r n i n g up year afer year for her notorious N e w Y e a r ' s E v e parties.

T h e E d i t o r a n d stall of F E L I X a l l wish Sue a n d G e o f f a good time o n t h e i r V S O w o r k a n d hope it's not too l o n g before they start h a v i n g N e w Y e a r ' s E v e Parties a g a i n .

FELIX, February 20,1981

F R O M N E X T Monday, IC R a d i o w i l l be r e s t a r t i n g i t s breakfast-time b r o a d c a s t i n g .

T h e p r o g r a m m e s w i l l r u n for over an hour each weekday m o r n i n g a n d w i l l i n c l u d e news, events i n C o l l e g e that day, a n d a new " b e d r o o m of the w e e k " feature. IC R a d i o had tried breakfast-time b r o a d c a s t i n g for a t r i a l p e r i o d at the b e g i n n i n g of the session, a n d D a v e F u l l e r , S t a t i o n M a n a g e r , hopes that t h e s e b r o a d c a s t s w i l l b e as successful as before.

I C R a d i o have now been p e r m i t t e d to c a r r y a d v e r t i s e ments, due to a r e l a x a t i o n in licence stipulations m a d e by the H o m e Office. H o w e v e r , c o m m e r cials w i l l not be a p p e a r i n g just yet, as necessary a d m i n i s t r a t i v e a n d t e c h n i c a l work still has to be done.

Page 3

beef risotto. Powerful enough to paralyse a skunk at fifty paces, it ranks with bestiality, flagellation, and I C Ents as the lowest form of human existence. A n i l l wind may blow good however; whilst waiting endlessly for photocopy ingmachines i n the L y o n P l a y i a i r L i b r a r y , dropping one's guts will not only shorten the waiting list but might also clear a path to the delectable Janice at the check-out counter.

O n e word ol warning though — to avoid suspicion always be the first to sniff the air briefly and then exlaim loudly " S t r e w t h , someone's really dropped a b r i c k ! " .

Continued from page 3. of condolence has been opened in his h o n o u r . S i m i l a r l y , D a r e A f o l a b i is now s u r r o u n d e d by throngs of admirers a n d w e l l wishers thanks to y o u r horrendous caricatures of h i m .

T h e m i n d boggles which pathetic w r e t c h is going to be singled out next for y o u r brilliant p o p u l a r i s a t i o n treatment.

Tours, intrigued, P a u l Simons Chemistry P G

Ed's Note I th ank M r S i m o n s for his letter a n d p r i n t below a n article he s u b m i t t e d to F E L I X last t e r m u n d e r the p s e u d o n y m S M Ellies.

O n a n b i o g r a p h i c a l note, I should point out that M r S i m o n s is a freelance writerforthe./Vi«),S'aVn/w/and his " D e f i n a t i v e G u i d e to F a r t i n g " is previously u n p u b l i s h e d .

The Definitive Guide to Farting A s a new year starts and Moonie rummages through the dustbins of S o u t h K e n s i n g t o n l o o k i n g for i n s p i r a t i o n , m a n y p e o p l e are d i s c o v e r i n g the e m b a r r a s s i n g rectal explosions that inevitably follow a Southside or Refectory meal. Whilst some may consider this a devastating faux pas, others prefer this organic form of nonverbal communication to ordinary conversation; in fact, the Rector has made a career out of it.

There are of course many different types of fart. T h e Morse Fart requires strict sphincter control a n d years of p r a c t i s e amongst d e v o t e e s , a n d s h o u l d n o t be confused peeps and squeaks of an ill-concealed fart emanating from the tightly clasped cheeks of an amateur.

T h e SBD (Silent But Deadly) is the inevitable conclusion to lingering afterburn from a previous M o o n i e

Page 4

T h e Postern Blast is the piece de r e s i s t a n c e o f f a r t i n g , a n d is c o m m o n l y caused by d r i n k i n g Stan's S a m Smiths without sterilisi n g it i n D e t o l b e f o r e h a n d . II performed correctly it will bring rapturous applause f r o m cognescenti a n d a writ from the Noise Abatement Society. Refrain from carrying out this manoeuvre in confined spaces, for although the Postern Blast is totally devoid of odour, it can perforate the eardrum of the u n s u s p e c t i n g . It is also advisable to wear reinforcements o n t h e b a c k s of t r o u s e r s , a n d nearby windows should be taped over or covered with a net curtain.

Nonetheless the Postern Blast can be a favourite party trick, such as blowing out birthday cake candles, or igniting the w i nd and making a sheet of flame scorch out across the wallpaper.

O n e of the more distressing farts is the Wet One (also k n o w n as 'dropping coconuts'). Often caused by pre-exam stress, or the anticipation of a nurses disco, the Wet O n e is difficult to prevent, but the more embarassing side effects can be minimised by wearing absorbent underwear. Persistent farting of this n a t u r e m a y need m e d i c a l attention, or a good sized cork bung.

So there we have it — love it or leave it, the fart is no passing phase, and should be appreciated in all its glory. But until the social stigma of letting r i p is overcome, the fart will r e m a i n the b r e e z y secret of hundreds of devotees.

Live

in

Starts

Bar:

The Pimlico Connection

THE PIMLICO CONNECTION: For information please contact Dr Sinclair Goodlad, Room 501 Elec Eng, Int 3080, or John Hughes, Chairman Pimlico Connection, Linstead 525 or Elec Eng I .

Small Ads •Motorbike helmet, Stadium Scorpion, fibre-glass, size 2, as good as new, £25ono. Phone 567 7825.

•Wanted: Lady sitter of either sex. Convalescent lady needs a sitter; 9:00am to 4:30pm, Mondays to Fridays. No duties, other than to accompany an occasional walk. Would suit graduate student working on thesis. £8 per day. Would suit applicant available two or three days a week only. Near Kew Gardens.

Telephone Sarah Hodgson, 940 1 845 anytime.

•Parachuting. Anyone interested in organising a parachuting group at IC should see Annie in the Union Office who has all the details. Int 2232.

•Sponsored Skip: in aid of Oxfam on Sunday, April 5. Anna Ford, John Conteh, Noel Edmunds and other celebrities and members of the public will be skipping in Covent Garden Market.

Interested? Details and sponsor forms can be had by phoning 348 4225 (day).

•Wanted: Any member of the RCS academic staff who would be prepared to be the Honorary Senior Treasurer for the RCS Hockey Club. Anybody who is interested — please drop a note in my pigeonhole. R Morgan, Maths 2.

•Honda 90 1976, 7,000 miles, top box and carrier, good condition, £130ono. J S Sharman, 370 1742 or 445 0730, or Mech Eng letter-racks.

•Mike: You wanted another small ad; here it is! Andy •Watch found in Beit Hall phone boxon Saturday, February 7. Contact Beit Security or DeidreHickey(Subwarden) Int 3021.

The 1981 Gliding Club ANNUAL DINNER will b e h e l d at

the

National Theatre Restaurant o n

Friday, February 27 £8

tickets

(£11

for

students) including sherry from

a n d

port.

exwine,

Tickets

C o m m i t t e e

m e m -

bers.

Jamie Lynne Paradise and Jimmie Rhythms ( e x Leo Savers Band) This

W e d n e s d a y

at

8.30

IMPERIAL COLLEGE RADIO

F R E E !

Broadcasting on 301m, 999kHz to Southside, Linstead and galleries.

Garden Halls, and by high quality lines to bars and W e d n e s d a y , F e b r u a r y 25 ALPINE SPORTS Holborn are a l l o w i n g 2 0 % d i s c o u n t o n n o r m a l p r i c e s of all their h i k i n g a n d c l i m b i n g e q u i p m e n t at a s p e c i a l after c l o s i n g h o u r s sess i o n s t a r t i n g at 6 : 3 0 p m . F u r t h e r details f r o m M C l a r k e , Int 3113.

Invitation to all election candidates for the forthcoming sabbatical elections: Record promotions to help your campaign.

Each promotion will be broadcast on IC Radio at regular intervals.

Contact Dave Fuller via Internal Radio Southside Studio.

3440 or 3636 or via the

IC

time is limited, and candidates should But hurry, studio contact IC Radio by Wednesday, February 25 to ensure their promotion is recorded in time.

FEUX, February 20,1981

People

to help on the ICV

Handbook

M0011i.es a corrupfl

1981/2

P e o p l e a r e n e e d e d to help in the r u n n i n g / p r o d u c t i o n of the H a n d b o o k in particular the following jobs are available.

B u s i n e s s Manager: T h i s includes handling all business with the H a n d b o o k p r o d u c t i o n , especially advertising.

. maggot, says

concerned

Section Editors: Including U n i o n activities, e.g. U n i o n s t r u ct u r e , C l u b s / S o c i e t i e s E d i t o r , Entertainments E d i t o r , inc. f o o d , d r i n k i n g , etc.

family-split girl

T h e jobs detailed d o not involved a n e n o r m o u s a m o u n t of work.

S o m e r e q u i r e effort n o w a n d o v e r the s u m m e r ( a l t h o u g h not necessarily both).

Articles S o m e are required Shops/markets, etc.

now,

e.g.

a

Good

Food/Pub

HTH.E

Guide,

daughter

who

Ideas

gave

of his

a

x i b e d t h e sect i n

If y o u thought there was anything missing in last year's H a n d b o o k or previous years or anything was particularly brilliant please let us know.

.i"

A n y b o d y interested in giving help/ideas, etc., please d o not hesitate to contact the F E L I X Office for m o r e information.

PAUL DONOVAN H A N D B O O K E d i t o r 1981/2

wealthy

estate

to

the

landowner Moonies

y e s t e r d a y as " a

and

Torn gleefully from last Saturday's

Telegraph.

By Popular Demand The Return Of

flunt Špidnz Visits friends Episode Eight

The local policeman, P.C. Hartley, cycled unsteadily home. It was after all the prerogative of the was constabulary to ensure that law and order observed and hospitality could not, after all, be denied. The ditch had been in the village for some while, indeed, local historians (Brigadier and Mrs. considered that it had been a part of Charlesworth) the community since the Middle Ages. Whether or made it his unfailing not this was so, P.C. Hartley duty each evening to ride his bicycle into the ditch. could not long go unrewarded - but Such constancy it was.

FEUX,

On the train the conspicuous party had apologised, but the air was still charged with discontent.

Really, it just was not done. Telegraph poles sped past the window and still Aunt Deidre sat and looked displeased.

Under the seat a black beetle crawled and cared not one whit for the conspicuous party.

February

20, 1981

Page 5

Links Club Presents a

TODAY

7:30 p.m.

I.C. Union Building.

In aid of NIGHTLINE

starring

JOHM OTtUAY J U W W ) LWJUiy BARRETT Also appearing: The Europeans Really The Volcanoes (steel band) Joy Spring Septet (jazz band) Bar 'till 2 a.m.

Disco 'till 2 a.m.

Tickets £3.00 Available on door on

Cocktail Bar '

I C .

production of U n i o n card.

C o n s e r v a t i v e s

SALE

GILES S H A W

f

SALE

MP ^ f t o e r S ; "

Junior Minister The

f

SfXUE

r

EQUIPMENT

Last 18 Months in Northern Ireland"

Tuesday, 24th February 1:00—2:00pm Huxley 139

•JurttoR

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Common!

Everyone Welcome ^LcwNLop MAVPJ^, S O P * R>er

M E N D - A - B I K E H&xrr over

MeDOLLOP VAefiaa> faaeAfcttjM/fetlt

New and Used Cycles

Fully Guaranteed

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S A M E D A Y REPAIR S E R V I C E

M*TC«MiJT»P

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CHAMP HMXr)

New bikes from £65 including VAT. Up to 10% discount on presentation of this ad.

Do/JtoP D- S. /OBO

PARK W A L K G A R A G E , 15 PARK W A L K , S.W.10

POHNAV

T e l e p h o n e : 01 -352 3999

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FELIX, February 20,1981

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F«?eD Ffeei^y- SKIRTS

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3 KENDRICK M E W S , SW7 (off Reece Mews) (Old Brampton Road)—2 min's walk from South Kensington Station

Page 6

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GRADUATE,

G E T

T H E

C R E D I T

YOU

D E S E R V E

T h e c r e d i t y o u ' l l get f r o m f a m i l y a n d friends for passing y o u r exams m a y be v e r y n i c e for t h e ego.

B u t it w o n ' t p a y the b i l l s .

T h e c r e d i t y o u ' l l get f r o m u s , h o w ever, is d e s i g n e d to h e p y o u d o just t h a t .

1

W e ' l l l e n d y o u u p to ÂŁ 5 0 0 w h i c h y o u w o n ' t have to start p a y i n g b a c k straight away.

I f 11 h e l p see y o u t h r o u g h that d i f f i c u l t p e r i o d b e t w e e n degree a n d first salary c h e q u e . W h e n a lot of m o n e y seems to be g o i n g o u t a n d n o t m u c h coming in.

Y o u m i g h t need it for a deposit o n a flat. T o p a y for a season t i c k e t . E v e n , m a y b e , to f i n a n c e the r e p l a c e m e n t of y o u r ageing L e v i s w i t h s o m e t h i n g m o r e suitable f o r y o u r first d a y at w o r k .

O f c o u r s e , to q u a l i f y for a g r a d u a t e l o a n y o u ' l l h a v e to meet a c o u p l e of conditions.

Y o u ' l l n e e d to have passed y o u r degree a n d h a v e a f i r m job offer.

S e c o n d , we're u n l i k e l y to be q u i t e this g e n e r o u s i f t h r o u g h o u t y o u r s t u d e n t career y o u ' v e p r o v e d a n i n c o r r i g i b l e spendthrift.

A l l y o u have to d o is to h a v e a w o r d w i t h the S t u d e n t B u s i n e s s O f f i c e r at your local branch.

H e ' l l d i s c u s s a n d a r r a n g e t h e details of t h e l o a n w i t h y o u .

T h e n w h e n y o u move, he'll transfer y o u r a c c o u n t to the nearest B a r c l a y s b r a n c h to y o u r n e w job or h o m e .

H e can't h e l p y o u pass y o u r f i n a l s .

B u t he c a n h e l p m a k e life a little easier o n c e y o u do.

BARCLAYS

For full written information write to: Student Account Service, Barclays Bank L i m i t e d , 6th Floor, fuxon House, 94 St. Pauls C h u r c h y a r d , L o n d o n E C 1 M 8 F H .

FELIX, February 20,1981

Page 7

Reviews Certificate X . Starring Robert D e N i r o , J o e Pesci. Directed by Martin Scorsese.

Now showing at Notting Hill G a t e , C l a s s i c C h e l s e a and Studio O x f o r d St. A crashing hand sends Marcel C e r d a n reeling and the fight is stopped. It is 1949 and J a k e la M o t t a , the B r o n x Bu l l, has w o n the title Middleweight C h a m p i o n of the W o r l d .

Raging Bull is based on the bravely honest autobiography of L a M o t t a , a tough ItalianA m e r i c a n who quickly falls from being W o r l d C h a m p i o n to failed night club owner.

T h e film is not just about boxing; scenes from various fights punctuate a look at one man's personal life; his violent temper and suspicion outside the ring help him t o win f i g h t s , y e t r u i n h i s r e l a t i o n s h i p s w i t h his brother J o e y a n d wife V i c k i e . H e refuses to deal with t h e fight racketeers a n d is thus prevented from contending the title for many years.

Robert De Niro has not surprisingly been nominated for an Oscar for his portrayal of Jake La Motta. He achieved the startling transformation from boxer (left) to overweight slob (right) in only two months.

T h e boxing scenes are short and to the point. Fists cause deep thuds and the boxers sweat, blow a n d bleed their way to glory. S l o w motion enhances the moment of victory, as L a M o t t a revels in his trade. H e retires and buys a night club in w h i c h he gives a self-humiliating c o m e d y act.

In t h e lead role Robert D e N i r o gives a marvellous performance â&#x20AC;&#x201D; he firstly trained as a b o x e r and then gained a n amazing sixty pounds i n weight to show L a M o t t a ' s later years. H e is ably s u p p o r t e d by J o e P e s c i as his manager a n d brother, J o e y .

T h e underlying theme of h u m a n tragedy is at times 'quite unbelievable. After all, who in their right minds c o u l d blow all their money a n d ruin a marriage to a beautiful wife as J a k e did? It is, however, true a n d we see a blend of h u m a n emotion a n d violent action w h i c h m a k e the film entertaining, up to a point.

T h u s I r e a c h the controversy surrounding the film. A s y o u n o doubt k n o w , there was a danger at first that it w ou ld not be s h o w n in this c o u n t r y when the two dominant c i n e m a chains refused to show it. Their reason? T h a t it was firstly too violent a n d secondly full of bad language. Whilst b o t h of these elements are evident i n the film, it is not just a ruthless exploitation movie. It w ou ld not appeal to the prudish o r squeamish, but it is a tragedy to think that the people running the vast majority of o u r cinemas d o not believe that there is a sufficiently adult audience, who can discriminate between g o o d a n d bad films, for them to m a k e a reasonable profit. It is an intelligently made a n d artistically important film, which s h o u l d be seen by those interested in s u c h powerful real life dramas.

Battle Beyond The Stars (A, Warner West End, ABC Fulham Rd) is a harmless sci-fi romp from Mark Smith the Roger Corman stable. Evil warlord Sador (John Saxon) arrives at the planet Akir with an ultimatum - submit to my rule or I'll turn your planet into a star with my "stellar converter" (Yipee!).

Not surprisingly the pacifist residents of Akir take offence and send Shad (Richard Thomas) off to recruit mercenaries. He collects a motley crew - Space Cowboy, Gelt, Nanelia, Cayman (a O n the front page of this issue we incorrectly huge reptile), Nestor and the voluptuous St Exmin, a valkiri warrior whose ample bosom is only r e f e r t o t h e R e c t o r a s L O R D F l o w e r s of just restrained by her flimsy costumes.

Queensgate, this s h o u l d , of course, have read They return to Akir for a shoot out - in true Magnificent Seven tradition (the film from which i B A R O N F l o w e r s of Queensgate. the plot has been grafted into space). Made on a low budget, the effects add a little glitter to an A l s o , in the Editorial o n the b a c k page the otherwise dull film. The occasional flashes of humour are enjoyable, but I doubt whether even the Editor refers to the R e c t o r as "sensitive", this most faithful scifi college students would find it rewarding. The still shows Cayman and his two s h o u l d have r e a d "sensible". the Kelvins (thermal twins!), an example of some of the wonderful make-up used. sidekicks

e

ERRATUM

Page 8

FELIX, February 20, 198/

Liz's Wee Bit Insurance There have been rather a lot of incidents of property being stolen over the last few months in various parts of College Residence. The initial problem was the disappearance of several items of luggage from the basement of Linstead Hall.

Following discussions with M r Reeves, the Chief S e c u r i t y O f f i c e r , a receipt s y s t e m has been b r o u g h t i n t o o p e r a t i o n . T h e m e s s e n g e r in Linstead Hall has been issued with a triplicate receipt book; one receipt is attached to the item of luggage, one is given to the student and one remains with the messenger. The luggage will not be released until the receipt is presented to the messenger. This system will hopefully tighten up the security of the area and try to prevent luggage being stolen as the Insurance Policy now states that theft cover applies only where there is evidence of forceable and violent entry.

I cannot stress how important it is for you to take care that your rooms are locked and that any valuables are locked away or are separately insured. Students can individually extend the policy to include accidental breakage or loss to s p e c i f i e d i t e m s s u c h as c a m e r a s , s t e r e o equipment, jewellery, etc., o n application to Endsleigh and payment of an additional premium.

If anyone would like any advice on this matter please don't hesitate to get in touch with me.

INCOST Preparations for the conference are advancing very well. The working group which is to discuss 'Preparation for a Scientific or Technical Degree' has at last got off the ground — thanks to Shezi and A n d y for volunteering. T h e other three groups are progressing well and have attracted some very interesting speakers.

At the end of January I was visited by the Director of U N E S C O , M r James McDivitt who has been very kind in giving us financial support to the tune of $1,000. U N E S C O will also be sponsoring two delegates from underdeveloped countries. These students are to be found and have their travel and conference fees paid by UNESCO. Tickets have been booked for the delegates to attend 'Evita' and a visit to Silwood Park has been arranged for the Sunday. Anyone else who would be interested in helping with the organisation, please get in touch with me.

Elections Papers went up on Monday, February 16 in the Union Lower Lounge, for the four sabbatical

Matters Raised Haldane Library The Haldane Library Committee have formed a working party, of which I am a member, to consider the relationship of the Haldane to the L y o n Piayfair Library and to discuss library facilities for the Humanities ODtions.

At its first meeting last week the following points were discussed: 1. W h e t h e r c o u r s e t e x t b o o k s for u n d e r graduate humanities options should be in the Haldane or the L y o n Piayfair Library, and what the borrowing arrangements should be (e.g. restricted loan for books used specifically for essays, which will be needed by many students over a short period).

2. The possibility of merging the two libraries with one main entrance and one issue desk, allowing free access to the Haldane collection through the Lyon Piayfair Library.

W e need student opinion on this (especially that of people taking Humanities options) so can anyone interested please either come and see me or drop a note into the Union Office by Monday, M a r c h 9.

London Student Travel L S T is looking for Representatives, especially from Halls and House, to distribute a few leaflets, posters, etc., for which you will get a £5.00 voucher off your holiday. Anyone interested please come and see me as soon as possible.

L S T are also holding a Trade Fair on Tuesday,

posts. Voting will be held in all departments on Monday, 9 and Tuesday 10 March.

Dep Rep nomination papers go up on Monday, February 23 in each department with elections taking place on Monday, M a r c h 16.

The papers for the other officers: A A O , E A O , Welfare Officer, U L U Rep, Rag Chairman, U G M Chairman and I C C A G Chairman will be posted in the Union Lower Lounge on Thursday, February 26. The elections for these posts will take place at the U G M on Thursday, March 12 at 1:00pm in the Great Hall.

Volunteers are needed to man ballot boxes on Monday 9, Tuesday 10, and Monday, 16 of March from 10:00am to 5:00pm. Students will be paid £1.00 per hour. Anyone interested please see me or J e n in the Union Office.

UGMs The attendance at the U G M held on February 5 was rather p o o r to say the least. I was as disappointed as everyone else. The publicity o r g a n i s e d for the meeting was of the same quantity as had been produced for the previous meetings; 2,000 copies of Exec News which were distributed from Monday to Thursday. Further issues were distributed around the Refectories, the Union Lower Lounge, and the J C R at about 11:30am on the Thursday morning.

P W P have kindly taken over my suggestion of a working party to produce ways of encouraging attendance, but I am only sorry that Owen Green and William Cortazzi (Bill the Mole?) felt they could not offer any helpful ideas on this issue. I thought Tim Lawes' suggestions very constructive and I hope to have a chat with him about them. Anyone else who thinks they can help more than welcome to attend the P W P meeting on Friday, February 20 at 12:40pm in the Union Office or come and see me.

I entirely agree with Steve in his remarks about the subject matter submitted this year to U G M s .

If y o u feel that the subjects which have been submitted do not appeal to you then please formulate a motion which is interesting to you and hopefully to other students as well. The motion for the next UGM is Thursday, deadline February 26, 1981.

Colours The deadline for nominations for Social Colours will be the last day of this term, Friday, March 20.

Nominations and their justifications should be handed to me in the Union Office.

Sorry this is so lengthy but do think about submitting a motion and remember the next U G M is on Thursday, March 5 at 1:00pm in the Great Hall.

Hope to see you there.

March 3, in the J C R . There will be about twentyfive travel operators coming so if you're intending' to travel this Easter or Summer make a note in your diary, and look out for more details.

Rape Alarms I have now found a supplier who can sell me the hand-held repell-alarms (which I've previously written about) for only £2.50, so if anyone wants one at this new low price can they come and see me as soon as possible so I can judge whethei there's enough demand to make a bulk order, i Cheap Tube Fares?

John and 1 recently went to a meeting at City University to get all the Universities, Colleges and P o l y t e c h n i c s in L o n d o n together to try a n d persuade London Transport to give concessionary rates on tubes and buses for students. Soon there should be a campaign starting and a petition going around, so when it does I hope you'll all sign it, as I'm sure you're all in favour of cheaper fares.

QUOORRUMM! The post of Union General Meeting Chairperson for the 1981/2 session is to be elected soon. The papers go up on February 26, come down on March 9 with the hustings at the U G M on March 12. Have you the nerve to hold back 300 (you'll be lucky) screaming heathens and the ability to run a meeting to its standing orders? In that case you're half way there. If you'd like to stand and have any questions, see Liz Lindsay, Hon Sec or J o n Firth, M e c h Eng 3.

FEUX, February 20,1981

Welfare Since it seems that some landlords are still fixing electricity meters above the legal resale limit of 4.77p per unit perhaps more positve action is needed. If you are concerned about your meter the L o n d o n E l e c t r i c i t y C o n s u l t a t i v e C o u n c i l would like to know about it, the number to ring is 638 4803. They will tell you how to check that you are in fact paying too much and, if need be, advise you to initiate legal proceedings. However, a friendly word of warning to the landlord of your intentions may well cause him to think again.

Meanwhile, in desperation at the high cost of electricty, some people are turning to a cheaper form of heating — parafin stoves. I am told by Bob Foggan, our fire chief, that they cannot be used in any College accommodation since parafin stoves and students are a highly combustible combination! However, if you like outside College and decide to use this form of heating make sure you have a heater stamped with B S (British Standard) 3300. This ensures that anyone given to staggering or fumbling around in the dark can k n o c k it over without setting themselves or anyone else alight (the end result of 15 specific laboratory tests which hav eto be passed before the kitemark of the B S Institution is awarded). It is now illegal to sell a paraffin heater without the B S label a n d c o n s e q u e n t l y many i n s u r a n c e companies will not pay up for fire damage if a heater other than a B S one caused the fire. It doesn't end there either. Bob tells me that the stoves should be taken outside for refilling, and even the paraffin used should comply with the B S code Another type of risk that we get queries about are T V licences. Unfortunately when the Post Office goes on the prowl it seems to operate on the principle first seen, first served. In other words, the unsuspecting Flatsharer who opens the door may well end up receiving the summons, even if there are ten other people watching the box and the bloke who bought it left the country two years ago. A n d you can't always rely on the folks back home since their licence only covers you if the T V is purely portable, that is, without any sockets for mains connection.

Finally, just a reminder about the new dental regulations, due to commence at the end of March. If you're 19 or 20 you will no longer get free treatment under the N H S . However, all is not lost for anyone over 18 paying a fairly high rent since this will normally bring you into the category able to claim a refund during term time as well as the holidays. F o r further information about this ask your dentist or come and consult our leaflets.

If you need a N H S dentist in the area we have a list of some, while those students who live in I C Halls as well as the U L Intercollegiate Halls can use the U L U Dental Service at Malet Street, phone number 636 9799.

Sue Telling Student Services 15 Princes Gardens

Bookshop News A L L DIARIES have been reduced by at least a third. Y o u still have ten months to go!

International Writers Day March 14 at the Purcell Rooms. Organized by P . E . N . , The World Association of Writers. T h e Bookstall will be run by the speakers: Anthony Burgess, Mario Vargas Llosa, Benny Green and Toni Kanac.

Tickets for lectures and coffee, £4.00, from: P E N , 7 Dilke Street. London, S W 3 4 J E .

A bit of useless information: The Bank is open 9:30-3:30 for change. A s much as we like you, we cannot change £10.00 notes from the service till for 5ps.

Advance Information Michael Kidrom, the author of "State of the World Atlas" will be discussing his book on March 6 at the Read Lecture Theatre at 1:00pm.

Copies are on sale at the Bookshop.

Page 9

Rag

F r i d a y , F e b r u a r y 20 Links Carnival Bristol 24hr Pedal C a r R a c e M o n d a y , F e b r u a r y 23 P a p e r s U p , 9:30am T u e s d a y , F e b r u a r y 24 Field C u p F r i d a y , F e b r u a r y 27 Papers D o w n , 5:30pm Sunday, March 1 E l e c t i o n B a r Night

T I C K E T S F O R the Carnival - similar to the Guilds Rag Week Carnival, but without the films, and in aid of Nightline - are still available in the Guilds Office at £3 each. It will star J o h n Otway and Wild Willy Barrett.

T o enter the Field C u p give your team's names to Ruth as soon as possible; full details may be obtained from her.

The job descriptions for the Exec, posts should have appeared in yesterday's Guildsheet. If you want to stand for any of the posts, have a chat with the present relevant Exec, member to find out exactly what the job is about.

Andy.

T u e s d a y , F e b r u a r y 24 G e n e r a l C o m m i t t e e , 6:30pm, L o w e r L o u n g e T h u r s d a y , F e b r u a r y 26 H u s t i n g s U G M , 1:00, P h y s i c s L T 1 R C S U v R C S A D a r t s M a t c h , 8:00pm, U n i o n B a r S a t u r d a y , F e b r u a r y 28 I n t e r - C C U M o n o p o l y , 10:00pm, I C U Office Monday, March 2 Elections. V o t i n g in all d e p a r t m e n t s Tuesday, March 3 Results U G M , 1:00pm, P h y s i c s L T 1 B a r N i g h t , 7:00pm, U n i o n B a r T h e St V a l e n t i n e s D a y R a g w a s a g r e a t s u c c e s s w i t h n e a r l y 30

£300

people

enjoying themselves

the B A M

C o for p r o v i d i n g b r e a k f a s t , a n d to A n d y

and

Andy

Wilson

of

Motor

Club

for

bringing J e z a l o n g . C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s to old-timer Marco

L e d w o l d (22

was

top

y o u c a n see f r o m the what's o n a b o v e ,

the

collector with over

this S u n d a y )

who

£36.

next couple of w e e k s are pretty busy. Elections a r e u p o n u s a n d c a n d i d a t e s a r e rife i n t h e U n i o n B a r a n d B o t / Z o o T e a R o o m . A t t e n d a n c e is v i t a l at t h e H u s t i n g s U G M vote

for.

a l o n g to The

Don't

s o y o u c a n sort out w h o to

forget

to bring y o u r U n i o n c a r d

enable y o u to Inter-CCU

Saturday.

For more

vote.

Monopoly

T h a t ' s a b o u t all f o r t h i s w e e k . next

week,

same

stunt

details a b o u t

is

next

this, see T u n e in

the

again

place.

PhotoSoc Thirty colour prints and fifty slides were entered in last week's Photographic Society Competition.

The winner of the print competition was P Minoli (Biochem) and I Hodgson (Mech Eng) s u b m i t t e d the best s l i d e . N H u s e m was congratulated for getting in the top three for both B & W a n d c o l o u r . T h e j u d g e was M r s N Batchelor.

Photosoc have asked F E L I X to encourage members of the society to come to the New D a r k r o o m this S u n d a y , at 2 : 0 0 p m , to help construct a cabinet.

Many good natured comments were made on why the F E L I X photographer had not entered the colour competition. M r Palmer replied that his camera only takes black and white pictures.

Con Soc Camborne is now only one day away and I hope everyone has bought their "value for money" day tickets. The tickets cost £4.50 and includes travel to and from Harlington with a meal and beer in the evening. Even if you haven't a ticket come a l o n g t o the g a m e s , c o a c h e s leave 10:00am outside R S M .

Remember only seven days to "The Mines Review" which is at 7:30pm on February 21 in the J C R , and if you are thinking of standing for a U n i o n post the papers go up on M a r c h 2.

Page 10

A N I N T R E P I D few of the soon to be official Angling Club set off incredibly early to Richmond (the advertised trip to the Serpentine was called off — the Department of Environment is only accepting permit applications for next season, which will be allocated on April 1).

The lines were wetted in the Thames by eight o'clock and what a prolific session it turned out to be — see last week's Anglers Mail. Victor B u t o r y s . o n his h o m e r i v e r , was s o o n i n t o unexpected bream. His swim was alive for well over an hour, the float having no time to settle before diving at an incredible rate. Firmness on the strike was able to ensure a thirty pound plus bag with just ten fish.

A n d r e w ' W e s h o u l d have gone s h o p p i n g ' Powell, fishing a large eddy pool, was after club in the finest traditions of M r Crabtree (and Peter).

Legering live frog, a cunningly disguised maggot, on 31b test line, he was to be rewarded with the finest specimen to be seen o n the Thames for some years. A t 71b it was just an ounce under the Thames record of 88 years standing.

John 'the rivers are much cleaner in Wales, boyo' Davies started the first in an unusual set of experiments for Thames Water. He's after the British Record rod Caught Salmon. Most others would have been chuffed at his 231b 4oz 6dr pike. But not our J o h n . Back it went just before the photographer arrived.

V a n Scott (Victor's protege) decided that he would be an honest fisherman for the rest of his life. Unfortunately he drew a blank on Saturday.

After such a good first meet, liquid celebration s h o u l d h a v e b e e n t h e o r d e r of t h e d a y .

Unfortunately there was an hour and half left before they opened . . . for the lunchtime session.

W e hope to have some more trips in the near future. Tentative dates are February 21, M a r c h 7 and M a r c h 14 (end season special event!); venues have yet to be decided. C o m e along to our meetings o n T h u r s d a y l u n c h t i m e (12:30pm, Southside Upper Lounge) or contact Dave Kelsall, C h e m Eng P G (room G05) to find out more details.

and

r a i s e d for R a g . Particular t h a n k s are d u e to

Smith

As

T H E I N T E R - C C U Monopoly takes place next Saturday commencing at 10:00am in the I C U Office. This is a sort of treasure hunt around the various sites on the Monopoly board. Teams of three or four people must answer clues at each of the sites and collect money for Rag also. Points are won for correct answers and for money collected. Extra points can also be gained by having the best mascot.

The first three teams win prizes of a case of Swan, a bottle of whisky and a bottle of wine respectively. Alternatively winners may have the cash equivalent.

Only public transport may be used on the Monopoly. Tube fares cannot be refunded but the cost of a Red Bus Rover can, if competitors return it at the end and also collect over £3. It is not necessary to visit all of the sites but at least two thirds of them must have been visited if the team is to be considered for a prize.

Monopoly provides an excellent chance to see parts of London you wouldn't normally visit and, incidentally, is a great deal of fun. Copies of the rules are available from Paul Johnson in the R C S U Office.

The other big College Rag event is the Great Imperial College Rag Mag Race 1981 on the weekend of M a r c h 6-8. Competitors leave the U n i o n Building any time after 2:00pm on the Friday afternoon and must return to the bar by closing time on Sunday evening. In the meantime they travel to all parts of the country and try to sell as many Rag Mags as possible. Prizes are given for a) most Rags Mags sold, b) most Rag Mags sold per hour, c) the furthest distance travelled from IC and d) the most unusual or original method of travel. To be considered for any prize, competitors must have sold at least 150 Rag Mags. People can travel on their own or in teams but prizes are awarded to individuals. Of course, no one can win more than one prize. The prizes for each category are a bottle of spirits and, in the case of (a) fare refunded or a cash prize whichever is greater. In the case of (c) adequate proof must be provided. Entries for the race can be made via your V P or Soc Rep. G o o d luck!

Paul Johnson

Tight Lines

J U S T A BRIEF reminder that Giles Shaw, M P , will be in College on Tuesday, February 24, to talk on The Last 18 Months in Northern Ireland. A s Junior Minister for N Ireland until the recent C a b i n e t R e s h u f f l e , he is m o s t q u a l i f i e d to comment on such controversial issues as political status for inmates of the Maze Prison, and the Rev Ian Paisley's "Private A r m y " .

The meeting will take place in Room 139 of the Huxley Building. Follow the signs from the main foyer.

FEUX,

February

20,1981

ICYHA T H E T R I P S to B e a c h y H e a d a n d the P e a k District both went very well, despite the lack of the van for B e a c h y H e a d , a n d this e v e n i n g (Friday) we shall be off to Somerset, which is followed i n two weeks time, by the Lake District weekend, where we shall be camping.

The program for the rest of the term is: M a r c h 6-8 L a k e D i s t r i c t ; M a r c h 12 A G M ; E a s t e r Holidays Scotland.

Steve Clarke

ICCAG A F T E R O U R FIRST trip last week, draughtproofing the homes of elderly people, we now have a small core of experts, eager to pass on their new-found skills to others. D o you have a way with sticky tape? O r with old ladies? D o you k n o w the difference? W e l l , it r e a l l y d o e s n ' t matter. All you need is an atom of common sense (or just " c o m m o n " will do), and some free time this Wednesday afternoon, February 25. Meet Beit A r c h (surprise!!) at 12:30pm. A l l fares refunded.

For more details contact Sean C o y l e , Elec Eng 2, or be daring and come to our meeting on Monday, 12:30pmish, in the I C C A G R o o m (top floor Union — turn left at top of stairs and keep going!).

Graffitti

Snooker

G R A F F I T T I IS A screen printing club for those who have never heard of it.

For those lucky people who have, I would like to point out that all work undertaken for other clubs/individuals such as tickets and posters is carried out in members own free time, so, please if you want us to print something, try and give us as much notice as possible, preferably a month.

But, of course, you could do it yourself if you so wished â&#x20AC;&#x201D; try something new!

Dave Poley M E 2 Secretary

SF Soc W E L C O M E once again to the S F Soc bulletin, the only bulletin that entertains conjecture, that refuses to give way to the onslaught of the cash nexus, and is replete with homilies reflecting the profound alienation caused by the fragmentation inherent in the onset of post-industrial society.

First, several germane thoughts intimately c o n n e c t e d with future events i n v o l v i n g the society, society in general, and in particular.

M a r c h 10. Mark it in your diary. Carve it on your knees. Emboss it o n your heart. F o r that is the day of days on which the society improves the quality of life by showing the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Not to be missed.

March 8. M y birthday. Also Women's Day in the People's Republic of Mongolia.

Feb 20. B S F A Meeting. Meet Hammersmith tube 7:30pm.

Short Note on the film Stalker. It is based on the book Roadside Picnic by A r k a d i and Boris Strugatski, famous Russian S F writers. A s far as I ,know, only one film reviewer has bothered to mention this.

G o l e m 100, A l f r e d B e s t e r ' s most r e c e n t published novel is out in paperback. T h e said author is definitely one of the top five S F writers in the world, living or dead. It is his worst novel so far, which makes it merely very good indeed instead of the best recently published book. The Soc library hasn't got a copy, and they're not getting mine!

This S F Soc bulletin stops suddenly.

Ken Mann S F Soc Publicity Officer and Pocket Saviour

Operatic Diversion Diversion 'TIS L O U D in the praise of the A r t s C o u n c i l of Great Britain I sing! A n d this outburst of offbeat H u z z a h ! and Hey Nonny! all caused by a cut.

Aye, there are benefits of fiscal Thatcherism! F o r the wonderful City of Wallasey Operatic Society have, alas for them, been denied a donation from the A r t s C o u n c i l a n d h e n c e h a v e h a d to reschedule their tour of the South East this spring. Obviously, when economies are essential, the organisational mind leaps immediately into the thriftiness n a y , d o w n r i g h t c h e a p n e s s , of the Imperial College Union Concert Hall.

For four nights, M a r c h 11-14, the roof shall be r a i s e d b y t h e m e l o d i e s of t h a t n e g l e c t e d masterpiece, Maseratis "II Fomicazione". It will be p e r f o r m e d i n a n E n g l i s h t r a n s l a t i o n of Michelangelo Verdi's libretto, on the very same set that was used in triumphal performance at la Scala (a famous operatic theatre apparently named after a bingo hall in Runcorn).

A limited number of tickets, at the discount price of ÂŁ1.00 are available from the Dramatic Society. Collar the most adjacent member (of Dramsoc) now.

Compiled by Phil Webb

Results Wednesday, Feb 11,1981 Rugby IC 1st X V IC 2nd X V Football IC 2nd XI IC 5th XI IC 6th XI Hockey Guilds RCS j

v

w

w

Kingston Poly Q E C 1st

V V

V V V

V V

w

v

w

13-9 24-0

RHC Charing X Charing X

2-2 9-2 0-6

St Barts Hosp UCL

3-2 0-6

v

w

w

w

w

m

f

w

w

v

Football Sixths AFTER being beaten in the semi-final of the cup on a day when the blustery wind stifled the natural fluency of the Sixths football, the Sixths were back to the nitty gritty of league football.

The game started well for the Sixths with an early goal; Coussens took full advantage of s o m e h e s i t a n c y in the C h a r i n g C r o s s defence, ran through and slotted the ball into the net. This goal inspired some of the best football the Sixths have played this year and they soon went two up following a fine run and narrow angled shot by Chamberlain.

The Sixths should have gone further ahead but Bradley missed a penalty after Chamberlain had been brought down in the area.

Charing Cross, to their credit, came back into the game and scored two goals so that at half time the scores were level.

The Sixths regained the lead soon after the restart; Roche intercepted a backpass and scored his fifteenth goal of the season. The Sixths regained a two goal advantage when Chamberlain scored following Milner's free kick. The Sixths appeared to be well on top at this stage, but performed their usual charitable act by giving the opposition a goal ten minutes from the end leaving the result in doubt up to the final whistle T E A M : Veats, Higham. Bradley.

Haberlin, Davies. Tinkler, Milner. Gartside.

Coussens, Roche.

Chamberlain.

Results Saturday, Feb 14, 1981 Rugby IC 1st X V IC 2nd X V Football IC 5th XI IC 6th XI Hockey IC 1st XI IC 2nd XI IC 3rd XI

V V

V V

V

V

Side up 2 Sidcup 3 Chelsea St Thomas Hosp Ramarqhia Sabba Enfield Uxbridge

FEUX, February 20,1981

9-10 10-20 10-1 2-2 2-2 0-1 3-1

THE B T E A M won again, hurray! They beat a m e d i o c r e Q M C t e a m , who were m o r e interested in beer and food than snooker. We had to rely on two substitutes, namely Algy and Holt, who both won and now seemed destined for stardom or a permanent place in the B team.

The C team who were scheduled to play Charing Cross were bitterly disappointed when their opponents failed to turn up and were forced to take the match five-nil.

The handicap-singles tournament will start shortly, so get your name down (Snooker Lounge noticeboard) soon.

Football Sixths THE Sixths faced their toughest match of the season against their main promotion rivals.

As expected few chances were created by either side in this competitive match.

With Milner being switched to centre forward to deputise for the injured, Roche and Caseau playing in midfield, the Sixths took a while to settle down.

IC took the lead after half an hour when good work from Davies allowed Chamberlain to break free down the left and cross for Milner to score with a fine header. The Sixths had to withstand considerable pressure but at half time were still leading.

After the restart St Thomas' increased the pace of the game and began to threaten the IC goal more frequently. The scores were soon level when a St T h o m a s ' f o r w a r d scored from close range.

The Sixths were spurred into action by this goal and managed to create several promising chances before, following a corner, Maynard steamed into the penalty area and thumped the ball in the back of the net.

The Sixths lead, however, was short lived with St T h o m a s ' equalising ten minutes before the end and could have snatched a late victory, but for a good save by Hampton and a Bradley clearance off the line.

T E A M : Hampton, Higham, Bradley, Maynard, Davies, Tinkler, Gartside, Caseau, Coussens, Milner, Chamberlain.

Hockey Thirds H A V I N G m a d e a s c e n i c t o u r of W e s t Middlesex, we stumbled upon Uxbridge and found a pitch, where for the third time in a row, we had to construct the goalposts.

Since neither team had bought an umpire, Leinster was volunteered, and he obviously enjoyed his short spell of meglomania, since, after only half an hour, he had sent off Saluib Singh Patel of Uxbridge for grievous bodily harm of Shindler's head. IC took advantage of this, going 1-0 up, scored by Mitchell in true indeterminate style. Five minutes into the second half, Wylie put us further ahead after convincingly beating four blades of grass and a goalpost with some sensational stickwork.

T h i s e n c o u r a g e d U x b r i d g e to c o u n t e r , though they were kept out by Purdy, who made an impressive debut in goal. T h e opposition then decided upon a verbal form of attack, but it was totally ineffective since our umpire cannot understand Indian. IC r o u n d e d off an inept p e r f o r m a n c e with Mitchell scoring a third, while Hughes scored the best goal of the game, deflecting a shot into the root of our net.

T E A M : Purdy, Pound, Leinster, Sawers, Shindler, Moron, Hughes, Hopkins, Taylor, Wylie, Mahers, Michell.

Page 11

Contemptable little snot-rag I s e e t h a t 2 3 , 0 0 0 g r a d u a t e s of L o n d o n University with brains positively bulging with three years of higher education have seen fit to elect a stupid s t u c k - up little bitch whose only education has been o n the back of a horse as Chancellor.

W h i l e I c o n c e d e that the c h o i c e for C h a n c e l l o r left a lot to be desired, electing Princess A n n e (a w o m a n with the intellect of a cabbage and ability of a slug) devalues any degree obtained through the University.

W h y didn't someone as gifted a n d sensitive as L o r d F l o w e rs stand for election.

Attention sabbatical candidates!!

If y o u want posters printed by the time the papers c o m e d o w n — get them in by 10:30am M o n d a y , F e b r u a r y 23.

G e t your manifestoes in by 9:30, M o n d a y , M a r c h 2. T h e y will be cut at the 300th w o r d .

Photographs must be black a n d white.

Thanks to . . . .

Andy, Mark, Patrick, Colin, Phil, Martin, C a r o l i n e , S h a n n e , D a v e , P a u l , Steve, Ian, M a z a n d it was also nice meeting M i k e .

s February

Friday,

20

• S o c i a l i s t S o c i e t y B o o k s t a l l , lunchtime, J C R .

Sunday, February

22

• W a r g a m e s C l u b M e e t i n g , 1:00pm, U n i o n S C R .

Monday, •Chemsoc

February

L e c t u r e Forensic

23

Science,

4:30pm, C h e m

LTC. • C a m p a i g n f o r R a c i a l E q u a l i t y , 6:30pm, U n i o n U p p e r Lounge.

• C h r i s t i a n S c i e n c e L e c t u r e The Science

of

Christian

by J a c k E H u b b e l l , C S B , 7:30pm, R o o m 3 E , U L U

Healing

Building, Malet S t .

Tuesday,

February

24

• I C L i b e r a l C l u b M e e t i n g for anyone interested in getting the C l u b going again, 12:45pm, G r e e n C o m m i t t e e Room.

•STOIC

Transmission:

So

You

Want

To

Be

A

S a b b a t i c a l O f f i c e r ? Interviews with the I C E x e c about what their jobs entail a n d whether they enjoyed it, etc., 1:00pm.

ASTRO SOC OBSERVATION EVENING Tuesday, February 24

7:00pm onwards Level 8, Physics Everyone welcome.

HUSTINGS UGM Thursday, March 5,1:00pm Come and see prospective sabbaticals make promises they're bound to keep. Don't forget, an informed vote is a right vote.

• R i d i n g C l u b M e e t i n g , 1:00pm, Elec E n g 110.

• F i g u r e s into L a n d s c a p e — L a n d s c a p e into Fig ure s 3. M o d e r n A r t a n d the U n i t y of N a t u r e Professor J o h n W h i t e 1:30, P i p p a r d T h e a t r e , Sherfield.

• L e c t u r e a n d D i s c u s s i o n o n t h e G r e e n P l a n with D r A l a n L o n g e , 1:00pm, M a t h s 346. L u n c h 30p, 12:30pm.

• M O P S O C L e c t u r e E n e r g y R e s o u r c e s and the 1:00pm, Physics •Con

Soc

Future,

LT2.

Speaker

Meeting,

with G i l e s S h a w

MP,

lfOOpm, H u x l e y 139.

Wednesday,

February

25

• S k i C l u b O u t i n g , 12:30pm p r o m p t , Beit A r c h . B r i n g U n i o n c a r d s a n d gloves.

• W a r g a m e s C l u b M e e t i n g , 1:00pm, S C R U n i o n Building.

• H e a v e n C a n W a i t , 6:30pm, M e c h E n g 220.

Students at Primelia College have to manage o n a grant, just like the rest of us, so it was h a r d l y s u r p r i s i n g that four e n g i n e e r i n g s t u d e n t s i n n e e d of a n e v e n i n g ' s h e a v y d r i n k i n g found they could only afford one cylindrical c a n of beer between t h e m .

N o t having any k i n d of measuring vessel, they s h a r e d it out in the following way.

T h e y started by removing the circular top of the c a n . N e x t , they tilted the can until the level of beer c a m e to halfway d o w n the inside of the tilted c a n . A l l the beer w h i c h was p o u r e d out of the c a n d u r i n g the operation was caught in a glass a n d given to the first student.

T h e c a n was then tilted until the beer level just r e a c h e d the b o t t o m of the tilted c a n ; again the beer p o u r e d out was caught in a glass, a n d this was h a n d e d to the s e c o n d student.

T h e n they tilted the c a n again, this time until the level c a m e to halfway d o w n the circular b o t t o m of the c a n . T h i s measured the third student's share, a n d of course the last student d r a n k what was left in the c a n .

It doesn't take very long for an engineer to drink that m u c h beer, so they h a d plenty of time a n d sufficient s o b r i e t y to c o n s i d e r whether the beer h a d been divided fairly, a n d if not, what p r o p o r t i o n e a c h h a d received. C a n y o u help th e m?

Solutions, comments and criticisms to me c/o FEUX Office. There is a prize of £5 (donated by Mend-a-Bike) for the correct entry randomly selected at 1:00pm on Wednesday.

Last Week's Solution M r s F to H , M r s G to I, M r s H to G a n d M r s I to F .

This week's prizewinner is S a y W e i F o o , Elec E n g P G who c a n collect his prize from the F E L I X Office.

In the past, we have paid prizewinners out of petty cash, a n d this has often meant that prizewinners have h a d to keep calling at the office until there is enough money in the c a s h b o x to pay t h e m . I'm s o r r y a b o u t any embarrassment caused by this; in future there wil be a cheque payable to the prizewinner available o n the M o n d a y afternoon after the solution is published.

E a c h week in this c o l u m n I invite " S o l u t i o n s , c o m m e n t s a n d c r i t i c i s m s . " I always publish the solution, so this week I felt it would be fun to p u b l i s h the c o m m e n t s a n d c r i t i c i s m s I received. " . . . seems easy to me, judged by the standard of recent puzzles . . ."

"I've probably got this w r o n g , can't y o u m a k e up some easy o n e s ? " " A 'nice' p u z z l e . " " D o e s n ' t seem very difficult — have I made a mistake?" " F i v e minutes in lecture. If this isn't trivial what is?"

"If y o u substitute 'slept with' for 'received a Valentine from', it sounds like an evening at H P H . . ."

S o y o u see what I have to put up with.

Where's H P H ?

Scaramouche

Thursday,

February

40p.

26

• Y o u t h H o s t e l l i n g M e e t i n g , 12:30pm, S o u t h s i d e U p p e r Lounge.

• S o c i a l i s t S o c i e t y M e e t i n g with S t a n Ro sent hal from Socialist E n v i r o n m e n t a n d R e s o u r c e A s s o c i a t i o n o n E c o S o c i a l i s m , 1:00pm, M a t h s 340.

• I n d u s t r i a l S o c i e t y L e c t u r e by M r L M o n t g o m e r y of the F o r d M o t o r C o m p a n y o n Bringing

the Ford Escort

to the

• H a n g G l i d i n g C l u b M e e t i n g , 1:00pm, A b o v e

Stan's

Market,

1:00pm, C h e m E n g L T 1.

Bar. • L u n c h H o u r C o n c e r t with M a r g a r e t B r u c e a n d Peter G e l l h o r n (piano, four hands), 1:30pm, T h e M u s i c R o o m , 53 Prince's Gate.

• G l i d i n g C l u b M e e t i n g , 5:30pm, A e r o 254.

• U L U G a y s o c M e e t i n g , 8:00pm, U L U , Malet Street.

Jewish Week February 22 to March 1 Event) (JointIC/QEC/CC • S u n d a y , F e b r u a r y 22: O r i e n t a l E v e n i n g with four types of O r i e n t a l food a n d a s p e a k e r o n " S e p h a r d i

Commu-

nities", 7:00pm, Hollel H o u s e , 1/2 Endsleigh S t , W C 1 .

• T u e s d a y , F e b r u a r y 24: H y p n o t i s t , Hillel H o u s e , •Wednesday,

February

25:

Anti-Fascist

7:00.

Resource

F a y r e , l O M a m — S i O O p m , Hillel H o u s e .

• T h u r s d a y , F e b r u a r y 26: Soviet J e w r y petition in support of V i c t o r B r a s i l o v s k y , lunchtime, J C R .

• S a t u r d a y , F e b r u a r y 28: A n n u a l L A S E R B A L L , 8:00pm, Hillel H o u s e . T i c k e t s : J Miller, C h e m 1.

• S u n d a y , M a r c h 1: Q u i z - S u p p e r , 7:30pm, Hillel H o u s e .

C o n t a c t J Miller, C h e m 1 or D H o r o v i t z , Elec E n g 2.

FELIX is published b y the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed b y the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London, SWT 2BB. (589 5111 ext. 1048/int. 2881) Copyright FELIX 1981. Editor: S.J. Marshall, Advertising Manager: M.A. Smith. Registered at the GPO as a newspaper.