Founded i n 1949
The Newspaper of Imperial College Union
DESIRABLE KNIGHTSBRIDGE RESIDENCE Eighty postgraduate students will be housed in a new hall which the College has agreed to purchase, subject to contract. Although final negotiations need to be completed, work should go ahead next week to prepare the building for use in October. T h e b u i l d i n g , situated in M o n t p e l i e r Street, is very close to C o l l e g e a n d was constructed in 1896. It was used as a nurses home for St George's H o s p i t a l u n t i l 1979 a n d has since been e m p t y . T h e p r o p e r t y was first put up for sale at Easter a n d the C o l l e g e ' s o r i g i n a l b i d was rejected. O t h e r concerns sought to r c - d e v c l o p the p r i m e K n i g h t s b r i d g e site into l u x u r y Hats, but as the b u i l d i n g was o r i g i n a l l y constructed w i t h the money of a generous benefactor, a c o n d i t i o n existed that it should r e m a i n hostel a c c o m m o d a t i o n . T h i s meant that a second b i d from the C o l l e g e was accepted two weeks ago. despite higher offers from business concerns. Plans for the hall are still in the very early stages. T h e r e has been a n a m o u n t of d e t e r i o r a t i o n f o l l o w i n g two years of neglect a n d complete refurbishment is necessary before h a b i t a t i o n is possible. Some e x t e r n a l repairs a n d c o m m u n a l areas w i l l have a lower p r i o r i t y t h a n the p r e p a r a t i o n of bedrooms a n d may not be c o m p l e t e d u n t i l after residents move i n . A l t h o u g h the hall w i l l o n l y be used to house postgraduates, their o v e r a l l n u m b e r in C o l l e g e residence w i l l o n l y increase in p r o p o r t i o n .
Street, has not been named. It was The hall, situated in Montpelier originally built due to the benefactions of a Sir Chalres Hall to be used as a nurses home. There w i l l be more places a v a i l a b l e in the current halls a n d houses for fresher a n d first time a p p l i c a n t s as a result. A l l plans arc in an early stage ol p r e p a r a t i o n a n d no delails about a p p l i c a t i o n s for places are a v a i l a b l e al present.
This
is
Your Leader R e m e m b e r this face. D o u g l a s A r m s t r o n g , C h a i r m a n of the P o s t g r a d u a t e G r o u p is h e r e to d e f e n d y o u r interests. H i s first message to y o u all a p p e a r s o n page four.
Royal Wedding
Special
A l o o k at s o m e of the m o r e o b s c u r e R o y a l W e d d i n g i t e m s by o u r ace royalty c o r r e s p o n d e n t , B B Wolffe. S e e page 6.
No. 589
Friday, August 7,1981
Free!
.Sir
Letters
.Sir M a y I l a k e this o p p o r t u n i t y lo protest most s t r o n g l y about contentious m a t e r i a l in this year's I C U F r e s h e t s ' H a n d b o o k . C o n t a i n e d w i t h i n , as I discovered alter seeing pageprools at the printers, are the most vicious attacks on V i c t o r M o o n e y C a p t a in L i n d l e y and L o r d F l o w e r s I have seen to date. W h i l e a g r e e i n g w i t h the b r o a d sentiments expressetl I feel they are grossly overstated. M o r e o v e r , it is a disgrace that such c o n t e n tious c o m m e n t s w i l l be foisted upon a very impressionable fresher i n t a k e . N e v e r before has a • U n i o n p u b l i c a t i o n s o u g h t to influence o p i n i o n s i n s u c h a n o b v i o u s m a n n e r prior to term! It is perfectly u n d e r s t a n d a b l e that such a s i t u a t i o n s h o u l d occur. P a i d D o n o v a n , the H a n d b o o k E d i t o r , is a f i r s t y e a r student and has, perhaps, become a little c a r r i e d a w a y by the v i n d i c t i v e n e s s a n d m a l i c e shown towards M r M o o n e y and C a p t L i n d l e y that was prevalent i n the F E L I X O f f i c e last year. T h e (anonymous) a u t h o r of the article is none o t h e r t h a n P a t r i c k Coll, e x - F E L I X News Editor. S o u r e d by his recent m a t h s failure he has sought to " g o out w i t h a b a n g " , to use his o w n words. But the one factor that is b e y o n d m y c o m p r e h e n s i o n is that M r N M o r t o n , I C U P r e s i dent, has told me that he h a d seen the H a n d b o o k a n d a p p r o v e d of i t . W h i l e not e n c o u r a g i n g P r e s i d e n t i a l i n t e r v e n t i o n in an e d i t o r i a l matter. I w o n d e r how he c o u l d p o s s i b l y a p p r o v e o f articles that are sure to incense the C o l l e g e a n d are e x t r e m e l y u n f a i r to the i n d i v i d u a l s c o n c e r n e d , i n that no right ol reply is offered. B e a r i n g in m i n d that the C o l l e g e has k i n d l y a g r e e d to m a i l out the H a n d b o o k to freshers. I a m s u r p r i s e d that M r M o r t o n , w h o has o v e r a l l r e s p o n s i b i l i t y for U n i o r t matters, a n d . o f course, the H a n d b o o k , s h o u l d consider the m a t t e r so u n i m p o r t a n t . Yours
faithfully
Steve M a r s h a l l
Page 2
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I a m o b l i g e d to y o u for s h o w i n g me a letter from one S M a r s h a l l , an illustrious honorary lifem e m b e r of I C U . T y p i c a l l y , he has twisted facts a n d comments to his o w n e n d . H e implies that M r P a t r i c k C o l l has w r i t t e n articles about Messrs L i n d l e y a n d M o o n e y w h e n we a l l k n o w M r M a r s h a l l h i m s e l f is responsible for this entire c a m p a i g n . H o w e v e r , I shall not d w e l l on M r M a r s h a l l ' s low j o u r n a l i s t i c a n d m o r a l standards as these are w e l l known. M y position on the H a n d b o o k a r t i c l e s i n q u e s t i o n is q u i t e c l e a r — I have not seen t h e m . It is true that I saw most of the H a n d b o o k at paste-up stage a n d gave a n unofficial n o d o l a p p r o v a l . H o w e v e r , the a r t i c l e s on o u r good friends in C o l l e g e were not a v a i l a b l e a n d it c o m p l e t e l y s l i p p e d m y m i n d to ask the H a n d b o o k E d i t o r i f he w a s h i d i n g a n y contentious, abusive m a t e r i a l from m y a l l - p e r v a d i n g self. S i l l y me. I must take full responsibility for this d r e a d f u l oversight. I a m o n l y sorry that M r M a r s h a l l d i d not d r a w m y a t t e n t i o n to these articles as I a m r e l i a b l y i n f o r m e d that he was o c c a s i o n a l l y seen in the F E L I X Office w h e n the H a n d b o o k was being prepared. A s the person finally responsible lor a l l U n i o n affairs I a m c e r t a i n to be the recipient of irate p h o n e calls w h e n the H a n d b o o k reaches the S h e r i i e l d B u i l d i n g . N a t u r a l l y I w i l l d e a l w i t h such calls i n m y n o r m a l d i p l o m a t i c manner. I look f o r w a r d to a n i n f o r m e d a n d i n f o r m a t i v e F E L I X this year. lours faithfully Nick Morton I C U Hack
Dear Sir I feel I a m v o i c i n g the feelings ol m a n y w h e n I say how disgusted I was by the o b n o x i o u s b e h a v i o u r of some people on the recent C a m b r i d g e d a y - t r i p . Indeed. I a m forced to the c o n c l u s i o n that some of the people on the o u t i n g o n l y went to get d r u n k . L e t me point out some of the deficiencies in the actions of the r i n g l e a d e r s w h i c h 1111 e r 1 y d i s g r a c e d this U n i o n . F i r s t l y , some people a r r i v e d late al the c o a c h . T h i s was c o m p l e t e l y indefensible. S e c o n d l y , w h e n in C a m b r i d g e , m a n y of the group spent most of their l i m e at a " B e e r F e s t i v a l " w h e n they c o u l d have been a d m i r i n g the aesthetic beauty of C a m b r i d g e ' s m a r v e l lous a r c h i t e c t u r e . These points, which would condemn the p a r t i c i p a n t s for evermore, pale into i n s i gn i f i c an ce w h e n c o m pared w i t h the most d i s t u r b i n g aspects of the trip. I refer, ol course, to the s i n g i n g oi c al l o u s ly crude a n d indecent songs. II any ol the intent ions o u t l i n e d in these songs w e r e , h e a v e n f o r b i d , to take place, then the p a r t i c i p a n t s w o u l d surely lease themselves open lo charges of indecent exposure, assault, a n d i n c i t i n g r a c i a l h a t r e d , to n a m e but four. (I don't stand a n d count 'em.) T h e r e c a n be no excuse lor this b e h a v i o u r . I cannot help a s k i n g if those people w o u l d have beh ave d in the same way il their mothers were present. Indeed, you yourself, sir, were on thai coach a n d I have no doubt thai you were one of the instigators. F i e on you, you brazen-faced malefactor. I was d e l i g h t e d to see t h o u g h , that o u r glorious sabbaticals Were not on this t r i p ; there is still some
Ed's Note: I thought it o n l y fair to g i v e t h e P r e s i d e n t , N i c k M o r t o n , the right of reply to M r M a r s h a l l ' s letter (considering there is not a n o t h e r F E L I X u n t i l O c t o b e r ) . T h i s p r o m p t e d the above reply. O n f u r t h e r c o n s i d e r a t i o n , the President d e c i d e d to a p p r o a c h Captain Lindley, informing him o f the o f f e n d i n g articles. W o r d also r e a c h e d the R e c t o r ( w h o h a d w r i t t e n t h e f o r e w o r d to t h e H a n d b o o k ) a n d he m a d e it q u i t e c l e a r that C o l l e g e w o u l d not m a i l it o u t i f t h e s e a r t i c l e s w e r e i n c l u d e d . P r i n t i n g has b e e n s t o p p e d a n d the articles w i l l not appear. I a m c e r t a i n that C o l l e g e w o u l d have l o o k e d c a r e f u l l y a n y w a y . W h a t t h e i r r e a c t i o n w o u l d have been is a m a t t e r of s p e c u l a t i o n .
FEUX,
August
7, 1981
h o n o u r left in this institution. F i n a l l y , I c a l l l o r the a b o l i t i o n of this t r i p , o t h e r w i s e , the extreme consequences of further trips w o u l d be a n a b o m i n a b l e c o r r u p t i o n , w h i c h w o u l d result even in c i v i l i s e d institutions, such as t h i s c o l l e g e , a d o p t n g t h e b a r b a r o u s customs of c e r t a i n savage tribes. 1 ours faithfully Percy A l l i n g b r o o k c - Bogle .S'i'r
I a m not one to w r i t e reams of meaningless d r i v e l just to get m y n a m e i n F E L I X b u t , this t i m e I feel I r e a l l y must m a k e a n e x c e p t i o n a n d put pen to paper. Seriously, in a l l m y t i m e at I C I have never been so shocked, n o r so a n n o y e d by w h a t is g o i n g o n . I thought that there must be some integrity left in the students of today but a p p a r e n t l y there is not so m u c h as one g r a i n of c o m m o n sense or decency in a n y one of t h e m . It is a far cry from m y first days at u n i v e r s i t y w h e n students were looked u p o n as responsible, u p s t a n d i n g citizens w h o , i f at times a little boisterous, were at least, g e n u i n e l y t r u s t w o r t h y people. N o t so t o d a y ! It w a s o n l y recently that the true d e p r a v i t y to w h i c h students at I C have fallen was brought h o m e to me i n a fashion w h i c h left me speechless with disgust. Therefore I am i m p e l l e d to w r i t e this lettor in the hope that p e r h a p s some o f y o u r readers w i l l p u l l their socks u p . Tours sincerely C Alucard R e a l n a m e a n d address s u p p l i e d .
Dear Readers Letter s are r e q u i r e d for this p a g e . J u s t s e n d t h e m to the E d i t o r at the F E L I X O f f i c e.
Garage for Clem C l e m e n t i n e , ( l i e m o t o r is e d mascot ol the R o y a l School of M i n e s U n i o n , has been found a garage near C o l l e g e alter a three year w a i t . T h e garage, situated in the mews b e h i n d the Southside H a l l s o l R e s i d e n c e , w i l l be a v a i l a b l e from the start of the next session. O l c m , a ye l l o w a n d black 1926 C o m m e r c i a l l o r r y , is at present in pieces (apparently in Alclershot) but i l is expected that she w i l l be back on the road by C h r i s t m a s . A team of helpers w i l l perform the necessary repairs, i n c l u d i n g member s ol the R o y a l C o l l e g e of Science U n i o n w h o c o m p l e t e d the r e b u i l d i n g of t h e i r o w n mascot. J c / c b c l . in N o v e m b e r 1979. W h e n I hp r e b u i l d is c o m p l e t e d it w i l l be tilt l i i s l l i m e for over live years that a l l of the three UCl motot'iscd mascots have been I'oadworthv.
Hot penguin T H E S A B B A T I C A L Executive Officers d i d not seem to learn m u c h at t h e r e c e n t t r a i n i n g school h e l d at W y e C o l l e g e , but they d i d m a n a g e to r e t u r n w i t h W e s t H e Id C o l l e g e ' s m a s c o t , a large toy p e n g u i n . Barney M c C a b e , I C U Deputy President, was asked to d r i v e W c s t f i e l d C o l l e g e to the t r a i n i n g school. T h e y were so shocked by his d r i v i n g that they insisted that he stay in the back on the r e t u r n j o u r n e y , a l o n g w i t h the I C U President, N i c k M o r t o n . H o n o r ary S e c r e t a r y , M a r c o L e d w o l d . John Passmorc, U L U Vice President G i l l i a n M o r g a n a n d the p e n g u i n . By cleverly m a n o e u v r i n g the mascot to the real ol the bus a n d c r e a t i n g a d i v e r s i o n , B a r n e y d a s h e d o u t at P r i n c e C o n s o r t R o a d t a k i n g the p e n g u i n w i t h h i m . W h e n questioned, his strange b e h a v i o u r v a r i o u s excuses were offered w h i c h c o n v i n c e d the W c s t l i c l d C o l l e g e students present. I n fact, it was not u n t i l some time later that I C U President, N i c k M o r t o n , i i i l b r m c d W e s t l i e l d of t h e i r loss over the telephone. Il appears that they h a d n ' t even n o t i c e d . T h e p e n g u i n is now i n the U n i o n Office a n d no a r r a n g e ments h a v e been m a d e to r e t u r n it.
I.C. gets off lightly
Shop for the Union?
Imperial College remains relatively unscathed after the University Grants Committee (UGC) distributed the Government's reduced grant to universities early in July.
U N I O N R E G A L I A will in future be sold by the U n i o n a n d not the B o o k s h o p .
T h e c o u n t r y w i d e effect of the reduced grant levels is that there w i l l be thousands fewer university places a v a i l a b l e for home students hy 1984/5. A t this C o l l e g e , however, the U G C has r e c o m m e n d e d that student n u m b e r s are to rise by 170 by 1983/4. Part of this increase w i l l be i m m e d i a t e l y absorbed by the category change for G r e e k students, w h o w i l l be classed as E E C r a t h e r t h a n overseas students f o l l o w i n g Greece's entry into the C o m m o n M a r k e t . The net increase in student n u m b e r s w i l l be 122. T h i s means that lor each of the next three years, a p p r o x i m a t e l y 40 e x t r a students w i l l be taken on. In the f o r t h c o m i n g session this w i l l be d i s t r i b u t e d as follows: 10 L i f e Sciences; 5 C h e m i s t r y ; 5 Geology; 5 M i n e r a l Resources E n g i n e e r i n g ; 5 C h e m E n g . 5 C o m p u t i n g a n d 5 to M e e h E n g .
In J u l y the stocks of r e g a l i a i n the B o o k s h o p were sold to the U n i o n . T h e Constituent College U n i o n s w i l l sell their own p a r t i c u l a r items w i t h the rest remaining with IC Union.
T h i s increase in students, t h o u g h , is to o c c u r s i m u l t a n e o u s l y w i t h a decrease in the C o l l e g e ' s grant. T h i s year the C o l l e g e asked the U G C lor ,£25m, but the grant a l l o c a t e d was just slightly over £23m. A l s o the U G C has p r o v i s i o n a l l y i n d i c a t e d a decrease to £21.6m by 1983/4 at today's prices. T h e U G C letter to the U n i v e r s i t y ol L o n d o n singles out I C for special treatment. W h i l s t a l l the rest of the universities institutions are considered together, I C is specifically r e c o m m e n d e d to increase its n u m b e r s in the b i o l o g i c a l sciences. A s w e l l as r e c e i v i n g £23.2m of recurrent g r a n t , the C o l l e g e is also given £3.14m for e q u i p m e n t a n d f u r n i t u r e , £42,000 lor microprocessors a n d £\8,000 lor the L i n s t e a d extension. T h e effects of the U G C cut of 14% over the next three years c an n ot be fully envisaged. A s people retire, Ibr instance, they m a y not be r e p l a c e d , a n d the G o v e r n i n g B o d y at its J u n e 19 m e e t i n g c o u l d not rule out the possibility of c o m p u l s o r y r e du n da n c i e s. I n the session some cuts m a y be absorbed by slight surpluses from last year. D e p a r t m e n t s may have to take a 2.5% c u t b a c k , a n d the refectory account m a y have to start b e a r i n g more overheads, a l t h o u g h I C U finances a n d the Residence A c c o u n t w i l l p r o b a b l y be left alone. T h e U G C grant makes u p 50% of C o l l e g e income: the rest comes from overseas students fees a n d outside earnings. These c o u l d be boosted by h a v i n g a f i r m sponsor a professional c h a i r . T h e C o l l e g e has been actively seeking funds from outside to boost the U G C g r a n t , especially by setting u p i n t e r d e p a r t m e n t a l sections, eg robotics.
A t present the r e g a l i a is b e i n g sold f r o m the U n i o n Office, b u t the E x e c u t i v e is l o o k i n g into the possibility of s t a r t i n g a U n i o n S h o p w h i c h w i l l sell other items a n d be r u n by a p e r m a n e n t staff member.
New rooms at Silwood T H R E E N E W residence blocks are n e a r i n g c o m p e t i t i o n at the C o l l e g e field station at S i l w o o d Park. T h e b u i l d i n g s w i l l house forty students a n d s h o u l d be ready l o r use i n O c t o b e r . T h e b u i l d i n g c o n tr ac to rs w i l l h a n d over the properties to the Estates section for f i n a l f u r n i s h i n g on A u g u s t 23. A Silwood resident told F E L I X that a l t h o u g h some of the rooms were s m a l l , they were a great i m p r o v e m e n t on the c u r r e n t rooms i n W i l l i a m P e n n y Hall.
U.G. nuisance Residents of the C o l l e g e Held s t a t i o n at S i f w o o d P a r k n e a r Ascot have a g a i n been t r o u b l e d by t h e b e h a v i o u r o n u n d e r g r a d u a t e h e l d courses. A t the e n d of the s u m m e r t e r m students on an e n g i e e r i i i g Held course m o v e d ears, t a m p e r e d w i t h food a n d r i p p e d a b i l l i a r d table, w h i c h cost the residents £55 to r e p a i r . A S i l w o o d resident told F E L I X , " W e live in fear of these short Held courses".
P . G . trip to Cambridge A S I N previous years, the P G G r o u p organised a t r i p to this year's C a m b r i d g e Beer f e s t i v a l . T h e festival was s m a l l e r t h a n the one held a n n u a l l y at the A l e x a n d r a P a l a c e , but still offered a selection of real ales from 2b different breweries. T h e t r i p afforded a n o p p o r t u n i t y to look r o u n d the t o w n , as the festival shut for a w h i l e i n m i d - a f t e r n o o n , but poor w e a t h e r p r e c l u d e d the t r a d i t i o n a l p u n t i n g e x pe di t i o n s . N u m b e r s were d o w n on lasl year, a n d o n l y one c o a c h was t a k e n ; this was possibly due to the poor weather.
FELIX,
August
7, 1981
COPY DEADLINE C o p y d e a d l i n e l o r the F r e s h e r s ' F E L I X is 5p.m., Wednesday S e p t e m b e r 23
Page 3
P.G.
Tips
Hello, since this is a postgraduate issue, the P r e s i d e n t a n d the P G C h a i r m a n p r o u d l y present a joint effort. W h e n the undergrads return there will be articles about U G C cuts and that sort of stuff, but for now a few words about P G s a n d , more particularly, research students. At the B o a r d of S t u di e s at the e n d of last term a proposal was passed that " w r i t i n g - u p " students should pay fees. It seems this is just a r e c o m m e n d a t i o n and the matter is still being discussed. T h i s is obviously a wider problem than just a question of fee-paying. W e are, once again, up against the worries of overrunning P h D s (for w h i c h IC is now famous) and p o o r supervision. W e are extremely c o n c e r n e d about these p r o b l e m s as are plenty of other people in College. In the ideal w o r ld P h D students would have four years sponsorship. Whilst a handful of students are in this fortunate position, most are not and there is little chance of establishing an ideal world at present. S o let's cut this bullshit a n d tell y o u what we want. W e want the i m p o s s i b l e — c o m m e n t and discussion out of you lot. R e s e a r c h students have a reputation for apathy a n d the response to t h e q u e s t i o n n a i r e last y e a r w a s not staggering. W h e t h e r or not y o u wrote in then, please s e n d us any relevant c o m m e n t s you have now. A d d r e s s t h e m to the President, IC U n i o n , a n d they will be treated in confidence; y o u need not put y o u r name to t h e m .
Remember Hiroshima Thirty-six years ago, two atomic b o m b s were d r o p p e d on H i r o s h i m a and N a g a s a k i . T h e resulting horror, devastation and death appalled the people of the w o r l d . In J a p a n , s o m e are still suffering as a direct c o n s e q u e n c e of the attack. Since 1945, the world's arsenal of nuclear weapons has grown e n o r m o u s l y . Following the recent increase in international tension, people have b e c o m e aware, o n c e again, of how real the threat of nuclear holocaust is. It is h a r d to appreciate the numbers involved. T h e size of the H i r o s h i m a b o m b was about 13 kilo tons (ie an explosive p o w e r equivalent to 13,000 tons of T N T ) . A b o m b now w o u l d typically be between 1 M e g a t o n and 5 M e g a t o n s ; that is, between 76 a n d 385 H i r o s h i m a s . W e should realize that all the explosives, all the b o m b s , shells and mines used by all countries during the whole ol W o r l d W a r II a m o u n t e d to about 5 m i l l i o n t o n s of T N T . A l l t h a t is n o w c o n c e n t r a t e d into one typical b o m b a n d there are tens of thousands of s u c h weapons. W e must all r e m e m b e r the h o r r o r caused by those two tiny (by today's standards) b o m b s d r o p p e d on J a p a n . T h e four days from H i r o s h i m a D a y (yesterday) to N a g a s a k i D a y ( S u n d a y , 9 A u g u s t ) are set a s i d e for c o m m e m o r a t i o n . A two minute silence will be o b s e r v e d internationally from 11:00 to 11:02am this S u n d a y . Please respect this. If y o u w o u l d like to wear a c o m m e m o r a t i v e a r m b a n d with the design s h o w at the lop of this article, please ring O w e n G r e e n e on int 2960 today. Owen Page 4
Greene
Y o u might like to consider the following questions: Will y o u over-run three years? If s o , w i l l y o u be w r i t i n g o r still d o i n g experimental w o r k ? In either of these cases, do you consider it fair that you should pay fees? W h y do students over-run? Is there a p r o b l e m of selection of suitable candidates for research? S h o u l d a more comprehensive review of progress be made after one year? A r e projects too complicated to complete in three years? Is there adequate supervision of experimental w o r k , especially in the initial stages? Is t h e r e a d e q u a t e s u p e r v i s i o n of t h e s i s preparation, especially regarding timing? D o supervisors encourage students to do experimental w o r k right to the bitter end at the expense of writing up? If y o u have a p r o b l e m with y o u r supervisor, is there anybody in the department you c a n consult? A n d finally, returning to fees, how easy would it be for y o u to go " u n d e r g r o u n d " and continue beyond three years without registering as writing up? Bear in mind that the College has suffered a reduction in its estimated budget with the U G C letter and is obviously l o o k i ng to cover any drain on its resources be those resources material or lecturers' time and energy. H e a v y a r t i c l e , eh? S o r r y , but please consider writing in. Perhaps we can give you better news soon. O n a lighter note, we hope those of y o u who went on the C a m b r i d g e trip had a jolly spiffing time. Nicrc and Doug
Mr Armstrong introduces the Officers Just a few lines to let y o u k n o w who the P G G r o u p Officers are for next year a n d what we have planned. T h e officers are: Doug Armstrong—Chairman B o b R o l l i n s — S o c i a l Secretary Jim Downey—Treasurer D a v e W o o d — W e l f a r e Officer Paul H a y m a n — S e c r e t a r y Last year we held several p l o u g h m a n ' s lunches w h i c h were fairly successful and will continue next year. T h e two events that were held in the evening, the dinner and the party, were not very well attended. T h e C a m b r i d g e T r i p was its usual success. If y o u have any ideas for events next year, please let us k n o w , we can be contacted through the U n i o n Office. If you want money for a P G event in your department, remember you c a n get a subsidy from P G G r o u p funds. Finally, on a more serious note, we w ou ld appreciate it if you w ou ld let us k n o w your opinions on the p r o p o s e d writing-up fees for PGs.
Bookshop News T h e Imperial College B o o k s h o p is Y O U R B o o k s h o p . It s t o c ks not only the required reading for the various courses but also a large selection of fiction a n d reference b o o k s , current bestsellers, b o o k s of cultural interest, m a p s , g u i d e b o o k s a n d a w i d e r a n g e of stationery items. " B o o k s h o p N e w s " is featured every week in F E L I X , giving information of new titles, author visits, specialist exhibitions, etc. B o o k s a n d i t e m s of s t a t i o n e r y c a n be o r d e r e d through the B o o k s h o p , depending on current availability. T h e B o o k s h o p is s i t u a t e d in S h e r f i e l d Building, on the W a l k w a y outside of L e v e l 2. O p e n i n g hours are 9:15am—5:15pm, M o n d a y to Friday.
O/A Level Tutoring H a v e y o u ever thought about earning some extra c a s h by tutoring O / A L e v e l students? T h e Postgraduate G r o u p is pr epar ed, given enough interest, to adverise on your joint behalf, t h r o u g h the a p p r o p r i a t e c h a n n e l s (press, etc.). T h e idea of s u c h a s c h e m e w ou ld be to put tutor and tutee in touch with each o t h e r . If y o u a r e i n t e r e s t e d in u s i n g this experimental s c h e m e leave particulars of your subject area and location with the Student S e r vi c es at 15 P r i n c e s G a r d e n s .
FELIX,
August
7, 1981
Wilt y o u be in Edinburgh this summer? T h e n c o m e and see D r a m s o c performing three shows at the E d i n b u r g h Festival Fringe. Y e s folks, we've hit the big time—brighter than the f o o t l i g h t s , m o r e o r i g i n a l t h a n the O x f o r d Revue, more prestigious than Rowan Atkinson. D r a m s o c will be right in the centre of action, at E d i n b u r g h U n i v e r s i t y ' s N e w C h a p l a i n c y C e n t r e , a n d w e ' l l be w o r k i n g a 2 5 h r d a y p r o d u c i n g three completely original plays, all written by D r a m s o c m e m b e r s , performed by D r a m s o c m e m b e r s , with the help of D r a m s o c T e c h n o l o g y . It all starts on the 15th of A u g u s t at B r i s t o Street, E d i n b u r g h and performances are at 12:30 (lunchtime) a n d 9:00pm. Last night is o n the 29th A u g u s t so y o u have just two short weeks to see history made. T i c k e t s cost £1.25 (or 75p to y o u students a n d claimants) and y o u c a n get t h e m on the door or at the fring b o x office. O u r venue number is 23 and we're upstairs. See y o u there!
STOP PRESS see the E d i n b u r g h Festival Fringe in L o n d o n T u e s d a y 11 A u g u s t at 7:30pm in the Concert Hall. F r e e admission to the I C D S offerings for the 1981 Fringe.
W h a t e n s u e s is a w e l l p a c e d a c t i o n a d v e n t u r e story, in which J o n e s always m a n a g e s to n a r r o w l y clear the h u r d l e s p r e s e n t e d to h i m by H i t l e r ' s f a n a t i c a l h e n c h m e n . I think that Jones is cast from a similar m o u l d to J a m e s B o n d ; a clever and handsome adventurer who singlehandedly s u c c e e d s against tremendous odds. H e has m o r e h u m a n qualities t h a n the ever-slick B o n d however, and will undoubtedly re appear in a sequel. T h e one failure of the film is that it never quite achieves the sense of wonder and awe w h i c h made the otherwise hollow C l o s e E n c o u n t e r s s u c c e e d . In this case, however, the story is tremendously enjoyable and it just fails to be the " U l t i m a t e A d v e n t u r e " that the adverts promise.
After a relatively quiet period July was a good month for the cinema, with several very interesting releases. O n e of t h e b e s t is J o h n B o o r m a n ' s E x c a l i b u r , a fanciful adaptation of the legend of K i n g A r t h u r and the K n i g h t s of the R o u n d Table. T h e plot is a combination of many themes; U t h e r P e n d r a g o n uses M e r l i n , the w i s e m a g i c i a n , to e n a b l e h i m t o s e d u c e Igrayne, wife of the D u k e of C o r n w a l l . Merlin's price is the baby that is thus conceived, w h o is raised without k n o w i n g his parents. A r t h u r eventually b e c o m e s K i n g a n d brings peace and p r o s p e r i t y to the l a n d , but his h a l f - s i s t e r , If y o u want to take your family to an unusual a n d funny film, then T e r r y Gilliams's T i m e Bandits w o u l d be ideal. S i x dwarves steal a m a p of the universe from the S u p r e m e Being (Ralph Richardson) a n d p r o c e e d to travel through space and time committing daring robberies. A l o n g the way they pick up a young boy, K e v i n , w h o se wardrobe happens to be one of the holes that the dwarves use to flee the persuing S u p r e m e B e i n g . Together they encounter Napoleon, Robin H o o d , King A g e m e m n o n a n d eventually Evil himself in the F o r t r e s s of U l t i m a t e D a r k n e s s . It's a fast moving children's fantasy w h i c h is strangely appealing to adults as well. J o h n C l e e s e makes a brief appearance as a terribly polite and philantrophic R o b i n H o o d w h i c h will stick in my m i n d for a long time. A g o o d family film.
M o r g a n a , is up to no g o o d a n d A r t h u r must defeat the evil M o r d r e d before the 2hr 20 minutes is up. N e e d l e s s to say, G u e n e v e r e , L a n c e l o t , G a w a i n , er al c r o p up along the way to a d d to the excitement, but N i c o l W i l l i ams o n 's M e r l i n is particularly enjoyable. T h e r e is an e x c i t i n g m i x t u r e of r o m a n c e , b a t t l e a n d sorcery w h i c h adds up to a highly entertaining a n d colourful epic. Trailing a little way behind is K e n Russell's A l t e r e d States, w h i c h I found disappointing (not least because of the banal "love conquers a l l " ending). T h e r e is no doubt that Russell has p r o d u c e d a marvellous combination of images a n d s o u n d w h i c h h a s m o m e n t s of s h e e r brilliance. It is just about possible to swallow the p l o t ; g i f t e d s c i e n t i s t E d w a r d J e s s u p b e l i e v e s that he c a n u n l o c k p r e v i o u s experiences from the genetic structure of his cells by the use of powerful hallucinogenic drugs a n d sensory deprivation. H e is staggered to find that an actual physical metamorphosis accompanies his mental regression and he eventually reaches back to the actual moment of creation in his relentless s e a r c h for an "ultimate t r u t h " . T h i s wild premise is well e x e c u t e d , with some marvellous hallucination s e q u e n c e s a n d b r i l l i a n t m a k e - u p by D i c k S m i t h . W h a t I find hard to believe is that Russell sells out at the finale, and opts for s u c h a c l i c h e d anti-climax for his e n d sequence. A great pity that s u c h an imaginative film falls at the final h u r d l e — i t c o u l d have been a classic.
M y favourite release is undoubtedly Steven Spielberg's Raiders of the Lost A r U , another family film. H a r r i s o n F o r d stars as D r Indiana J o n e s , a n a r c h e o l o g i s t w h o s p e c i a l i s e s in f i n d i n g h i d d e n t r e a s u r e s in d a n g e r o u s l o c a t i o n s . T h e y e a r is 1936 a n d w h e n A m e r i c a n Intelligence discover that Hitler is on the trail of the legendary A r k of the C o v e n a n t (in w h i c h the original T e n C o m m a n d m e n t s were kept), they s e n d J o n e s to beat him to it. Hitler believes that any army w h i c h carries the A r k before it will be invincible and has set J o n e s ' a r c h rival, B e l l o q , the task of recovering it from the lost city of T h a n n i s .
T a l k i n g a b o u t J a m e s B o n d , t h e latest offering F o r Y o u r Eyes O n l y is the best of all the r e c e n t B o n d s . T h a n k f u l l y t h e r e is no massive set-piece e n d i n g , but a greater reliance o n really tense, dramatic scenes which w o r k s reasonably well. T h e most disappointing film of the year is the over-hyped C l a s h of the Titans. T h i s turned out to be a dull and uninspired "boy meets girl, loses girl, gets girl b a c k " story w h i c h is only saved by R o y H a r r y h a u s e n ' s s t o p - m o t i o n animation. E v e n this does not o v e r c o m e t h e d r e a r y a c t i n g a n d t h i s is definitely one to miss.
Finally the Buster K e a t o n S e a s o n at the Electric C i n e m a still has a week to r u n . This is a great chance to see s o m e of the funniest silent films ever made by the famous deadpan c o m i c , w h o is s u r e l y o n e of t h e m o s t u n d e r r a t e d c o m i c talents of the century. Seats are only ÂŁ2 for a long feature and two shorts, w h i c h s h o w at least three times daily. I'll see y o u there! Mark Smith
Arthur draws Excalibur from the stone (above left) and Indiana Jones comes face to face with his least favourite animal (top). Above, Dr. Jekyll goes ape in Altered States and tries to convince Rosenburg and the marvellously cynical Mason.
FELIX,
August
7, 1981
Page 5
HaiJbti Fowtlti
BV B B WolffG " H i , guess tuho's back again in charge of exposes, scandals, caustic comments and wry wit? Mr Smith has wisely decided to let me continue casting my eye over some of the more unusual and amusing aspects of College life. For this issue, however, I thought it only right to commemorate the glorious wedding of our future King by presenting a few of my own observations.
Wlm aiJkeTgg IT is r e p o r t e d t h a t half a m i l l i o n p e o p l e attended the firework display in H y d e P a r k on the eve of the great day. W h a t a pity that most of them bought their cars with t h e m to fill the streets a r o u n d College with a near stationary m a s s f o r h o u r s a f t e r it w a s a l l o v e r . Fortunately not everybody had to endure the c r o w d s . T h e R e c t o r , College S e c r e t a r y a n d a few bright sparks from the U n i o n , along with s o m e friends a n d family, had the foresight to g o u p t h e Q u e e n ' s T o w e r t o w a t c h the frivolity. G o o d for t h e m ! I naturally avoided s u c h a move after reading that at a similar display in 1746, one m a n was killed by falling out of the tree from w h i c h he had c h o s e n to view the fireworks. D o you realise h o w high the Q u e e n s T o w e r is?
B E A U T I F U L L a d y D i a n a S p e n c e r has quite an a m a z i n g family tree. T h r o u g h her mother she is related to no fewer than eight A m e r i c a n Presidents (not including the present one, thank goodness) as well as H u m p h r e y Bogart and G e n e r a l P a t t o n . But the biggest surprise is on her father's side of the family. It turns out that Private £Ve's columnist A u b e r o n W a u g h is her fifth cousin a n d editor R i c h a r d Ingrams her s e c o n d cousin once removed. Well fancy that! Perhaps Private Eye's novelisation of the Royal R o m a n c e , Born to be Queen, is nearer to the truth than y o u might first expect.
Tmm pah H A V I N G M E N T I O N E D Born to be Queen, I must say I f o u n d the s e r i a l i s a t i o n very funny. T h e r o m a n c e between P r i n c e C h a r l e s a n d lovely doe-eyed L a d y D i a n a S p e n c e r is told in hilarious style by Sylvie K r i n and has now been published in a b o o k , priced at only 9 5 p . W e f o l l o w t h e t e n s e d r a m a of t h e courtship, the inevitable photographers, the i n t r u s i o n of s t e p - g r a n d m o t h e r B a r b a r a C a r t l a n d and m u c h more. While this b o o k was at number ten in the bes t-s ellin g b o o k s list d u r i n g the w e d d i n g week, the n u m b e r one p r o v e d to be another surprise. It wasn't the official Royal W e d d i n g S o u v e n i r , but the satirical publication Not the Royal Wedding, a send-up p r o d u c e d by J o h n L l o y d a n d S e a n H a r d i e w h i c h features the team from Not the Nine O'Clock News. T h i s is p a c k e d with irreverent h u m o u r w h i c h mildly lampoons the R o y a l couple. It's g o o d to see that even our most prestigious ocasions b r i n g forward touches of well-groomed h u m o u r .
OdttCggpjg M Y E Y E S nearly p o p p e d out of their s o c k e t s w h e n I r e a d a recent article in The Grauniad c o n c e r n i n g the A m e r i c a n President, Ronnie Raygun. A p p a r e n t l y there is a strong r u m o u r in the W e s t C o a s t radical press over there that a sort of constitutional figurehead, similar to the Q u e e n , may be i n t r o d u c e d to relieve the pressure from the President. S u r p r i s e , surprise, N a n c y Raygu n is keen to put her and old hopalong up as candidates in the suggested national poll by w h i c h s u c h a position w o u l d be elected. N o w this leads on to the Royal W e d d i n g and N a n c y ' s visit. It has c a u s e d quite a stir that the A m e r i c a n first lady has outrightly refused to curtsey to anybody (a Very strange thing for the wife of an elected representative to do!) a n d it seems that she is very keen to pick up all the tips o n etiquette from our o w n Royal Family. C a n y o u imagine i t — K i n g R o n a l d the first! N o w o n d e r they tried to shoot h i m .
Stupid Stmvmim O N E T H I N G that won't be missed following the great event are the piles of ridiculous souvenirs w h i c h one has t o wade through o n arriving at any shop. H a v e you seen those revolting tea towels, the pictures on w h i c h look more like J o e B u g n e r a n d D a n d y N i c h o l s than our o w n P r i n c e a n d his bride? T h e worst item that I have c o m e across is the Royal W e d d i n g F r i s b e e — g o o d heavens whatever will they think of next! S o m e o n e tells me that there is actually a Royal W e d d i n g R u b i k ' s C u b e , with pictures of the happy couple.
H O W m a n y of y o u noticed that there was n o t ' a U n i o n J a c k flying from the flagpole o n the U n i o n Building on the great day? It appears that the U n i o n doesn't even possess a flag. A r e there no true patriots left at this College? W h y , if I'd noticed sooner I w o u l d have r u n my U n i o n J a c k underwear up as a substitute! 1
IkflMqtctJack IT A P P E A R S that there is at least one loyal subject in the U n i o n . H o n o r a r y Secretary M a r o L e d w o l d has not only one, but two U n i o n J a c k s in his r o o m . W h u r I ' m s u r p r i s e d that he didn't dash out a n d ^ u n one up the flagpole himself. Page 6
T O P M A R K S must go to the recently re-opened S c a l a C i n e m a at K i n g s C r o s s for a witty piece of p r o g r a m m i n g . O n the opening day in their new premises, w h i c h was formerly an ape house, they billed King Kong with Mighty Joe Young. F u r t h e r m o r e , as their c o n t r i b u t i o n to the R o y a l W e d d i n g they h a d a double-bill consisting of The Bride of Frankenstein a n d / Married a Monster from Outer Space. W e l l d o n e ! FELIX,
August
7, 1981
Fees and Grants
Southside Snippets T H E C O L L E G E has a g a i n been the v e n u e for s e v e r a l large conferences,. w h i c h take a d v a n tage of the S u m m e r A c c o m o d a t i o n scheme to house t h e i r delegates. Conferences ranged i n subject f r o m R a d i a t i o n Safety to M i d w i f e r y . I n fact this year was the C e n t e n e r y of the R o y a l C o l l e g e of M i d w i v e s , a n d these fortunate delegates spent a n ' e v e n i n g with R o y a l t y ce'ebrating.
publishers o n a " s a l e or r e t u r n " basis. T h i s not o n l y meant that visitors from as far a w a y as the F a r East a n d A u s t r a l i a d i d not have to wait w h i l e books were o r d e r e d a n d m a i l e d , but also that bookshop revenue was increased.
H A L L B U R S A R Mrs Diana Y a r r o w was shocked to discover that an o l d E n g l i s h sheepdog h a d been kept i n a K e o g h H a l l r o o m by a visitor. T h i s is, of course, against H a l l regulations. T o prevent this h a p p e n i n g a g a i n she t o l d cleaners to w a t c h out lor " a n y t h i n g u n u s u a l , like w i t h four legs or w i n g s . "
T H E S U M M E R Accomodation C e n t r e ( S A C ) seems to be one of the few places where a n y t h i n g happens over the s u m m e r . So it seems strange that it was d e c i d e d to p a i n t the S A C Office c e i l i n g recently w h e n the office was at its busiest. W h e t h e r this was to m a k e u p for the a p p a l l i n g state of the R o y a l C o l l e g e of Science U n i o n Office, w h i c h is n e a r b y a n d has been m i s t a k e n for pa r t of the S u m m e r A c c o m o d a t i o n scheme, r e m a i n s u n c e r t a i n .
C O N C E R N H A S been expressed over the w a y i n w h i c h visitors to S o u th s i de are often g i v e n the w r o n g keys on a r r i v a l at the S A C Office. T h i s means that people are g i v e n access to rooms i n w h i c h v a l u a b l e items m a y h a v e b e e n left by t h e occupant.
T O C O I N C I D E w i t h the conferences the I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e B o o k s h o p m a n a g e d to s t o c k specialist texts. B y a d v e r t i s i n g the fact that these conferences were to take place in the newsletter of the P u b l i s h e r ' s A s s o c i a t i o n , bookshop manager M r Roy H i c k s was able to get texts f r o m
T h e s i t u a t i o n is so b a d that the F E L I X Editor, M r M a r k Smith , r e t u r n e d to his r o o m one d a y to find a b e m u s e d cardiologist w h o c o u l d not u n d e r s t a n d w h y he h a d been given a r o o m full of clothes a n d books. C a p t a i n L i n d l e y , D o m e s t i c S e c r e t a r y , was u n a v a i l a b l e to c o m m e n t o n h o w m a n y times this mistake h a d occurred.
Hacks Hacked!
T h e C o l l e g e sessional fees for next session, 1 9 8 1 / 2 w i l l be as follows: 1. H o m e a n d E E C ' students, a n d those overseas students w h o began courses before S e p t e m b e r 1 1980: U G s : h o m e £900; overseas £1,389 P G s : home £1,320; overseas £1,803 2. Overseas students (both u n d e r g r a d u a t e a n d postgraduate) n e w l y a d m i t t e d to courses i n the C o l l e g e after S e p t e m b e r 1 1980: U G s : M a t h e m a t i c s £2,500; a l l other courses £3,600 PGs: Advanced Courses a) M a t h e m a t i c s a n d H u m a n i t i e s £3,000 b) A l l other courses £4,000 Research Courses a) M a t h e m a t i c s a n d H u m a n i t i e s £2.500 b) A l l other courses £3,600 T h e basic student grants for the u p c o m i n g session are: L i v i n g a w a y from h o m e / L o n d o n L i v i n g a w a v b o m home outside L o n d o n L i v i n g at home Minimum
Undergrad
Postgrad
1,82.5 1.535 1.180 410
2,770 2,24.5 1,640
Dinners-In-Hall: dates revealed! D I N N E R S - I N - H A L L w i l l be held on the f o l l o w i n g dates d u r i n g the autumn term: 20 O c t o b e r 3 November 17 N o v e m b e r I December 15 D e c e m b e r
1981 1981 1981 1981 1981
(Inaugural) (Inaugural) (Inaugural) (Inaugural) (Christmas)
M e m b e r s of the S e n i o r C o m m o n R o o m w i s h i n g to attend a n y ol the above d i n n e r s should book places t h r o u g h M i s s K D a i l l y , R o o m 354. Sherfield B u i l d i n g (Int 2231) u s i n g a b o o k i n g f o r m w h i c h eaii be o b t a i n e d , from the b e g i n n i n g of the t e r m , either from M i s s D a i l l y or from the box located in the S e n i o r C o m m o n R o o m i n the Sheffield B u i l d i n g . Students s h o u l d book t h r o u g h the S t u d e n t U n i o n . T h e latest time for b o o k i n g is twelve noon on the F r i d a y p r e c e d i n g the D i n n e r .
Charges
T H E E N D O F Y E A R e x a m i n a t i o n s p r o v i d e d t h e i r u s u a l m i x t u r e of t r i u m p h s a n d failures. A c a d e m i c Affairs Officers did well. I C U A A O Bob Bradley g r a d u a t e d w i t h First C l a s s H o n o u r s , as d i d M i n e s A A O Pete B a m f o r d . R C S A A O , D a v e L y o n s a c h i e v e d a n U p p e r S e c o n d w h i c h secured h i m a P h D i n the C h e m i s t r y D e p a r t m e n t . T h e i n c o m i n g C C U Officers n o r m a l l y have m o r e t h a n t h e i r share of failures. G u i l d s seem to have t a k e n the worst of it this year w i t h the Vice-President, N i c k Jenkins, a n d Publicity Officer, D a v e M i l l e t , h a v i n g failed to q u a l i f y . G u i l d s P r e s i d e n t A n d y R u s h t o n has m a n a g e d to get a place on a n M S c course as expected, but as yet has not been offered a grant a n d m a y have to finance it himself. T h e E x t e r n a l A f f a i r s O f f i c e r a n d F E L I X Business M a n a g e r , P a t r i c k C o l l , have also failed, w h i c h w i l l result i n two elections at the start of the next session. A l l of the sabbaticals m a n a g e d to satisfy the g o o d a c a d e m i c s t a n d i n g q u a l i f i c a t i o n . I C U P r e s i d e n t N i c k M o r t o n c o m p l e t e d the t h i r d year of his P h D course, w h i l s t D e p u t y President B a r n e y M c C a b e n a r r o w l y missed a T h i r d i n ¥hys\cs(dip[omatic-Ed). H o n o r a r y S e c r e tary M a r c o L e d w o l d a c h i e v e d T h i r d C l a s s H o n o u r s in C h e m i s t r y , a n d the F E L I X E d i t o r , M a r k S m i t h took a L o w e r S e c o n d in Physics.
FELIX,
P a y m e n t for d i n n e r s booked must be m a d e , in a c c o r d a n c e w i t h the rates s h o w n on the b o o k i n g f o r m , at the t i m e of b o o k i n g but, as bookings are accepted subject to the a v a i l a b i l i t y of places, deposits w i l l be refunded if a d i n n e r is o v e r - s u b s c r i b e d at the t i m e of b o o k i n g . It is regretted that no refunds c a n be m a d e in respect Of cancellations by i n d i v i d u a l s alter m i d d a y on the M o n d a y p r e c e d i n g the d i n n e r .
General Stall a n d students a t t e n d i n g H a l l D i n n e r s s h o u l d foregather in the S e n i o r C o m m o n R o o m or the A n t e - R o o m in the S h e f f i e l d B u i l d i n g — d e p e n d i n g on w h e t h e r the d i n n e r is b e i n g held in the Stall or M a i n D i n i n g H a l l — a t 7:00pm for d i n n e r at 7:30pm. ( T h e l o c a t i o n o f e a c h d i n n e r — w h i c h w i l l d e p e n d o n t h e n u m b e r of p e o p l e a t t e n d i n g — w i l l be d i s p l a y e d on notieeboards on L e v e l 1 a n d 2 Lift C o n c o u r s e s of the S h e r f i e l d B u i l d i n g ) . S h e r r y or other d r i n k s w i l l be a v a i l a b l e for purchase in the S e n i o r C o m m o n R o o m or A n t e - R o o m belbre d i n n e r . T h e w i n e a n d port served d u r i n g d i n n e r w i l l be i n c l u d e d in the o v e r a l l charge.
Dress E x c e p t for the C h r i s t m a s H a l l D i n n e r . ( 1 5 D e c e m b e r 1981) w h e n e v e n i n g dress (black tie) s h o u l d be w o r n , the correct dress for m e n for H a l l D i n n e r s is a lounge suit.
August
7, 1981
Page 7
Postgraduate Hall H a v i n g v i e w e d the b u i l d i n g in M o n t p e l i e r S t r e e t w h i c h the C o l l e g e s e e m s a l m o s t c e r t a i n to p u r c h a s e , I m u s t say that it is qu i t e a find s i t u a t e d just a r o u n d the c o r n e r f r o m H a r r o d s it i s w e l l s i t u a t e d a n d , a l t h o u g h b y n o m e a n s p e r f e c t , is i n r e a s o n a b l e c o n d i t i o n . A lot of h a r d w o r k is n e e d e d to p r e p a r e it for h a b i t a t i o n a n d if it is r e a d y for O c t o b e r there will c e r t a i n l y be a few c r e a s e s left t o i r o n o u t . A l s o , I w o u l d wait for f u r t h e r details to be p o s t e d a r o u n d C o l l e g e before b o m b a r d i n g the S t u d e n t S e r v i c e s Office w i t h e n q u i r i e s .
A New Broom W e l c o m e t o issue n u m b e r 589, the first that I have p r o d u c e d . This F E L I X may look very similar t o last y e a r ' s — I a m u s i n g u p s o m e e x c e s s c o v e r s o n this issue a n d the m a i n F E L I X b a n n e r will r e m a i n the same t h r o u g h o u t the y e a r . It is all t o o easy to m a k e c h a n g e m e r e l y for the s a k e of c h a n g e , so I intend to try a n d modify a n d i m p r o v e as I go a l o n g r a t h e r t h a n go for a c o m p l e t e change. Writing
Up
Students
I k n o w v e r y little a b o u t the p r o b l e m s of p o s t g r a d u a t e s a n d the " w r i t i n g u p " c a t e g o r y . T h e a r t i c l e o n p a g e 4 b y the President and P G Group Chairman i n c l u d e s a n a p p e a l f o r i n f o r m a t i o n . It d o e s n ' t t a k e m u c h effort to put a note into t h e i n t e r n a l m a i l , s o I h o p e that there is a staggering response.
It w o n ' t be l o n g n o w b e f o r e s c o r e s of musicians (pun intended) set up their weeklong vigil on the steps of A l b e r t H a l l for that great national institution, the L a s t Night of the Proms. T h e r e is great skill involved in this queueing. If you're too near the front of the queue, you are c o m m i t t e d to several unnecessarily lonely" nights o n the pavement, to say nothing of the danger of being trampled underfoot by the stampeding m o b w h e n the d o o r s are opened, the other h a n d , if you're too near the back of the queue y o u may not get a place at the front of the hall, and so miss out on the mass hysteria, the chance to appear o n television, a n d the smell of the c o n d u c t o r ' s s o c k s . T o determine the best place to s t a n d , I t r a c k e d d o w n the seven people at the front of last year's queue, and q u i z z e d t h e m about the order they were standing i n . I elicited five pieces of information.
FELIX Consort
is published
SAC I c o u l d n ' t believe that the c e i l i ng of the S u m m e r A c c o m m o d a t i o n C e n t r e Office in Southside was recently painted. This r o o m is a r e c e p t i o n a r e a for v i s i t o r s living i n the halls of r e s i d e n c e o v e r the s u m m e r a n d is e m p t y for a b o u t eight m o n t h s of the y e a r . W h y p e o p l e s h o u l d be s u b j e c t e d to the s m e l l a n d m e s s of paint w h e n it is totally unnecessary I don't k n o w . Handbook
Trouble
I m u s t say that the r e a c t i o n to M r M a r s h a l l ' s letter ( p a g e 2) is n o t s u r p r i s i n g . W h i l s t a g r e e i n g w i t h s o m e of t h e s e n t i m e n t s e x p r e s s e d in the offending a r t i c l e s , I c a n n o t really c o n d o n e the w a y in w h i c h they w o u l d h a v e i n f l u e n c e d freshers before r e a c h i n g C o l l e g e . W h e n I first s a w the articles they s t r u c k m e as h u m o r o u s r a t h e r t h a n offensive, but in r e t r o s p e c t I c a n see that they were b o u n d to cause a reaction from t h e C o l l e g e a d m i n i s t r a t i o n . I o n l y h o p e that the individual(s) c o n c e r n e d d o the d e c e n t t h i n g a n d m a k e suitable apologies. Dramsoc at the Fringe Y o u all h a v e a c h a n c e t o see t h e D r a m s o c offerings for the E d i n b u r g h F e s t i v a l F r i n g e
D e r r i c k said: T h e r e was at least one person between me a n d S u z a n n e . D a v e said: If I wasn't fourth in line, then S u z a n n e was. M a r t i n said: T h e r e was exactly one person between K a r e n and D e r r i c k . B e r n a r d said: M a r t i n was s o m e w h e r e in the line between D e r r i c k a n d myself, but S u z a n n e was not. T h e girls said: J o h n was in front of b o t h of us, but D a v e and D e r r i c k were both behind us" in the queue. But feelings run high, a n d competition is stiff, it seems, for I later discovered that one of the statements is false. W h a t order did the seven stand in?
Solutions, comments, criticisms to me c/o FELIX by 1:00pm on Wednesday 19th August, please. The usual prize of £5 will be awarded to the first correct solution opened on that date.
by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College
Road, London
SW7 2BB (589-5111 ext 1048 int 2881) Copyright
Union Publications FELIX
1981.
Board,
Editor:
n e x t T u e s d a y ( A u g u s t 11) at 7:30pm in the U n i o n C o n c e r t H a l l . T h e r e is n o a d m i s s i o n fee. The
Royal
Wedding
It w a r m e d the heart to see so m a n y p e o p l e h a v i n g s u c h a great t i m e o n J u l y 29. W h i l s t I f o u n d it h e a r d to t a k e a n y interest in the trivia w h i c h c o m m e n t a t o r s p a d d e d the d a y w i t h , I e n j o y e d t h e r e l a x e d air w h i c h t h e event i n s p i r e d . Fox Farewell F o r m e r R C S U and I C U President Chris F o x is d u e to fly out to B o l i v i a as s o o n as the political s i t u a t i o n o v e r t h e r e c l e a r s . I'm s u r e w e ' d all like to w i s h h i m g o o d \u-~.k in his n e w job.
F r e s h e r s ' FELIX T h i s will be p u b l i s h e d o n M o n d a y , O c t o b e r 5 a n d p r e p a r e d in the p r e v i o u s w e e k . If y o u h a v e a n y c o n t r i b u t i o n s t h e n t h e d e a d l i n e is W e d n e s d a y , S e p t e m b e r 23. A n y b o d y w h o is willing to help o n the p r o d u c t i o n side will be m o r e t h a n w e l c o m e — c o m e i n at a n y t i m e d u r i n g the last w e e k of S e p t e m b e r . T h e m o n s t r o u s t a s k of c o l l a t i n g t h e F r e s h e r s ' issue will t a k e p l a c e o v e r the w e e k e n d 2-4 O c t o b e r . A l l h a n d s will be appreciated.
' J u s f two hours more I s e e m to h a v e s p e n t all m y w a k i n g h o u r s in the F E L I X Office this w e e k . T h e job is c e r t a i n l y a lot h a r d e r t h a n it m a y a p p e a r f r o m the o u t s i d e a n d I a m p a r t i c u l a r l y grateful to the f o l l o w i n g p e o p l e for their h e l p : H e c t o r C a m e r o n C l a r k (especially for the p h o t o g r a p h on the c o v e r ) , M a r t i n , Steve, Dave, Patrick, Shanne (Diamid!) Douglas, Nick, Barney, T i m , Matt, M a z & I a n .
The Editor desperately trying to avoid another space-filler. Hopefully, this space will become smaller throughout the year. and is printed
M A Smith,
by the Union Print Unit,
Advertising
Manager:
S M
Prince Giblin.