http://felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1982/1982_0606_A

The Newspaper of Imperial College Union

Founded in 1949

HALL HELL BREAKS LOO Dangerous and thoughtless actions by certain residents of Linstead and Tizard Halls in the last fortnight have resulted in fines being imposed on the Halls.

A f t e r m i d n i g h t o n F r i d a y , F e b r u a r y 5, several v e r y l o u d fireworks were set off i n a n d a r o u n d L i n s t e a d H a l l a n d a large n u m b e r of local residents a n d students were d i s t u r b e d .

Because o f the history of the m i d d l e east related t r o u b l e i n the area, the D i p l o m a t i c P r o t e c t i o n P o l i c e a r r i v e d to investigate a possible terrorist attack. It was o n l y w h e n the s u b - w a r d e n s showed the used

ICU Nuts lift Spanner and Bolt It was revealed this week that Spanner and Bolt, the mascots of City and Guilds Union, are in the possession of IC Union and not RCS Union, as reported in FELIX 604.

fire-works Hall.

to the p o l i c e t h a t they were p e r s u a d e d not to search the

A n u m b e r of c o m p l a i n t s c o n c e r n i n g the event were subsequently received by C o l l e g e . These i n c l u d e d p h o n e calls from senior police officers d u r i n g the n i g h t .

D r R . W . S m i t h , C o l l e g e S e n i o r T u t o r , has i n t e r v i e w e d some of the students c o n c e r n e d a n d i m p o s e d a £ 5 0 fine o n the H a l l . D r S m i t h a n d the H a l l C o m m i t t e e have m a d e it c l e a r that they o n l y expect those responsible to c o n t r i b u t e to the fine.

In a notice to the H a l l D r S m i t h stated that C o l l e g e is v e r y c o n c e r n e d over the u n a u t h o r i s e d storage of explosive m a t e r i a l s i n student residences.

A few days later a n o t h e r serious b r e a c h of d i s c i p l i n e o c c u r r e d i n T i z a r d H a l l . A W a i t r o s e trolley a n d a c h a i r b e l o n g i n g to the H a l l were t h r o w n from the gallery level. T h e i n c i d e n t o c c u r r e d at 3 : 0 0 a m o n W e d n e s d a y , F e b r u a r y 10, a n d f o r t u n a t e l y no one was passing by at the t i m e . H o w e v e r the c h a i r , w o r t h £75, was i r r e p a r a b l y b r o k e n a n d it has b e e n d e c i d e d to r e d u c e the H a l l ' s a m e n i t i e s b u d g e t b y £75 to compensate for this.

Hutton plugs Taps On Wednesday STOIC celebrated its twelfth birthday and marked the occasion with an interview with Oscar winning actor Timothy Hutton.

H u t t o n w o n his a w a r d last year as Best S u p p o r t i n g A c t o r in R o b e r t Redford's Ordinary People a n d is in this c o u n t r y p r o m o t i n g his latest film T a p s , w h i c h o p e n s in L o n d o n next T h u r s d a y .

In the interview D a v i d C h i l d s a s k e d M r H u t t o n about his career a n d his latest role as a cadet major in T a p s . T h e interview will be s c r e e n e d by S T O I C o n T u e s d a y at 1:00pm a n d 6:00pm.

T h e deceit c a m e to light w h e n I C U H o n o r a r y Secretary M a r c o L e d w o l d a n d I C U D e p u t y President B a r n e y M c C a b e were discovered m o v i n g the stolen mascots i n the U n i o n B u i l d i n g . T h e y refused to answer questions a n d insisted that they h a d " f o u n d " S p a n n e r a n d Bolt a n d were just m a k i n g sure that they were safe.

W h e n asked, M r N i c k M o r t o n , I C U President, was still u n d e r the impression that R C S U h a d the mascots. H e said he h a d no idea where they were.

A F E L I X r e p o r t e r confronted M r M o r t o n w i t h the news that his fellow s a b b a t i c a l officers h a d been seen w i t h the mascots. H e said " I h a v e n ' t seen t h e m for a week a n d have m a n a g e d qu i te w e l l w i t h o u t them."

• ••-•>!•

No

606

Friday, February 19,1982

Free!

Dear

Dear

Mark

Y o u k n o w that I d i d not like the way you started the ball r o l l i n g o n y o u r electoral soapbox series. A n d you know I h a d one o r two reservations a b o u t e q u a l access to a l l candidates. But w h e n a l l is said a n d done it w o u l d seem to be a marvellous idea.

I have just read the articles in F E L I X 605. L a u g h ? I nearly shat! lours

Nick Morton President, I C U n i o n E d ' s N o t e : S till t w o weeks behind o n the ideas front then Nick!

Dear

Mr

Smith

A s C o u n c i l ' s representative on the B a r C o m m i t t e e , I feel I must c o r r e c t some o f the idiotic blabberings of M r G o u l d e r that appeared i n last week's F E L I X .

T h e B a r C o m m i t t e e has never, ever, even considered contemplating anything remotely resembling a bust o f Prince A l b e r t . I c a n only t h i n k that this is some k i n d o f joke, as n o one w o u l d take such a suggestion seriously.

T h e V i c t o r i a n prints m e n tioned are believed to be i n the possession o f the College archives, a n d therefore w i l l cost us n o t h i n g .

T h e B a r C o m m i t t e minutes are, o f course, a v a i l a b l e for scrutiny i n the U n i o n Office.

It is a pity he d i d not bother to read t h e m . } ours

M i k e Booty A c a d e m i c Affairs Officer Page

2

Mark

With

love

. Ian Hodgson Ed's Note: C o n s i d e r i n g that M r H o d g s o n is personally responsible for a great deal o f the trouble I C R a g is n o w i n , I f i n d i t absolutely incredible that he d a r e c r i t i c i s e anybody. H i s pathetic performance as I C R a g C h a i r m a n has resulted i n the loss o f thousands o f pounds to I C R a g , so how he c a n h o n e s t l y l a b e l p e o p l e as irresponsible for spending a twenty pound allowance (which is specifically reserved for e n t e r t a i n m e n t ) a m a z e s

Dear

later fell through, so now I C I as the former I C E n t e r - students w i l l not see a major band performing at T H E I R tainments C o m m i t t e e Disco College this year, while the Officer wish to announce my Ents C o m m i t t e e enjoy a large formal resignation from the profit. post.

Dear Mr Smith

It c a m e to m y notice that last F r i d a y ( F e b r u a r y 12) everyone w h o attended the previous S C C meeting was invited b y Steve G o u l d e r to a n S C C booze-up to 'celebrate' sixty years of S C C .

M e m b e r s o f the U n i o n might be interested to know t h a t t h i s cost ÂŁ 2 0 o f t h e i r money, not m u c h , but i m a gine it s i m i l a r l y irresponsible people were to be elected to r u n I C U n i o n next year. H o w m u c h more o f our money c o u l d be wasted g i v i n g hacks free food a n d wine?

Even the C h a i r m a n of L a b o u r C l u b when asked agreed that it was a waste o f money, but said he d i d n ' t intend to do a n y t h i n g about it b e c a u s e he f a n c i e d a free party.

I hope that perhaps F E L I X w i l l i n future attempt to tell people when similar events are organised a n d hopefully prevent these U n i o n parasites from h a v i n g such a good time at o u r expense.

Mark

I n his Welfare W e e k article in the last F E L I X , N i c k P y n e m e n t i o n e d that there are " p r o b a b l y 500 gays at I C " , a figure p r e s u m a b l y d e r i v e d from the notion that 5% of the adult p o p u l a t i o n o f B r i t a i n is exclusively homosexual.

W i t h o u t w i s h i n g t o cast doubt on this w i d e l y believed s t a t i s t i c , m a y I ask f o r a serious answer to a n obvious question: h o w does anyone know? lours

sincerely

Martin S. Tavlor FEUX.

I have submitted the major reasons for my resignation in a letter to the entertainments committee. These are o f a personal nature and are o f no i n t e r e s t to y o u r r e a d e r s . I w o u l d however like b r i n g to your attention some general points w h i c h have disturbed me w h i l s t I have been a m e m b e r o f the E n t e r t a i n ments C o m m i t t e e .

Tours

sincerely

Steven B r a m w e l l Chem Eng 1 Dear

Mark

I have been moved to write to you to c o m p l a i n about the posters p u b l i c i s i n g the L i n k s C a r n i v a l . T h e y feature the I C R a d i o logo w i t h the w o r d " R a d i o " ' cut off. W h i l e we have no c o p y r i g h t o n the artwork, we feel that such use of our logo, especially the I C R a d i o c r o c o d i l e , is v e r y impolite, p a r t i c u l a r l y since thev d i d not seek our permission.

Jeremy N u n n s Secretary. I C R a d i o

T h e Ents C o m m i t t e e does not serve the musical taste o f students at I C . T h e decisions i n b o o k i n g bands are taken by one person alone w i t h no consultation w i t h the other members of the committee, a n d this of course leads to a Sir great emphasis o n this one I w o u l d be grateful for the person's o w n taste i n music o p p o r t u n i t y to throw some w h i c h I do not th ink conforms light on the mystery o f the I C w i t h that of the majority o f T C R a d i o crocodile logo. F o r if it students. T h e way he covers is true that they do not possess u p for this is by c l a i m i n g that the copyright, then I can only I C students, as a whole, have assume that they themselves no taste. I illustrate m y point have r i p p e d it off without due by b r i n g i n g to the attention of acknowledgement o r permisI C students (as if they hadn't sion a n d are in no position tonoticed) the lack o f variety i n criticise the L i n k s C a r n i v a l t h e b a n d s b o o k e d . W h e n publicity. ' O v e r k i l l ' p l a y e d here t h e M o r e likely, they do possess lack o f enthusiasm shown b y the copyright, as copyright l e a d i n g m e m b e r s o f t h e does not need to be registered, c o m m i t t e e w a s b l a n t e n t l y unlike a patent, and the L i n k s obvious a n d as n o attempt C a r n i v a l p u b l i c i t y machine was made to fully promote the may be d u l y chastised. b a n d the event was not a n Tours " o v e r w h e l m i n g success".

P.J. Knowall I w o u l d like to point out C o p y Deadline: Contributhat the Ents C o m m i t t e e are tors are r e m i n d e d that the now i n a suitably sound c o p y d e a d l i n e is 1 : 3 0 p m , f i n an c i al position to be able to Monday. underwrite a major b a n d to p l a y at C o l l e g e . H o w e v e r , w h e n the o p p o r t u n i t y arose to Summer Vacation Employment book such a b a n d at a very reasonable price n o attempt T w o Assistant M a n a g e r s required was made by the C h a i r m a n to for the S u m m e r Letting S c h e m e of take u p the offer, despite its t h e C o l l e g e f l a t s a t H a m l e t a p p r o v a l b y the E n t e r t a i n - G a r d e n s f o r t h e f o r t h c o m i n g m e n t s C o m m i t t e e , a n d he s u m m e r . T h e job offers excellent managerial experience, g o o d pay, delayed m a k i n g a decision for free a c c o m m o d a t i o n and a n so l o n g t h a t t h e b a n d i n enjoyable s u m m e r i n L o n d o n . If q u e s t i o n e v e n t u a l l y l o s t interested, please write in detail to interest a n d i n the e n d d i d not J i m D o n a l d s o n (Manager H G S L S ) wish to play the g i g . T h e for a n interview, c / o the S t u d e n t Services Office, 15 P r i n c e s G d n s , b a n d to w h i c h I refer is K i n g or directly t o 216 H a m l e t G d n s , C r i m s o n . Instead the C h a i r - L o n d o n W 6 . A n y undergraduate m a n went ahead a n d booked m a y a p p l y . C l o s i n g d a t e f o r a lesser b a n d of his o w n choice applications M o n d a y , F e b r u a r y for that date, a deal w h i c h 22.

February

19,

1982

Student Labour

Posh Nosh

AN IMPERIAL C O L L E G E THE GUILDS DINNER AND student w i l l be s t a n d i n g as one o f D A N C E was h e l d i n t h e H y d e the official L a b o u r P a r t y c a n P a r k H o t e l last F r i d a y . T h e didates for the K n i g h t s b r i d g e event started at 8 : 0 0 p m a n d after a n excellent m e a l a n d talk b y w a r d o f the C i t y o f W e s t m i n s t e r in t h e f o r t h c o m i n g L o n d o n Professor A . K e n n a w a y , the B o r o u g h elections. revellers d a n c e d to a j a z z b a n d .

A f t e r 2 : 0 0 a m the event m o v e d to the U n i o n B u i l d i n g w h e r e the b a r r e m a i n e d o p e n to 6 : 0 0 a m .

Miss Lesley H o r r o c k s , F E L I X Sports E d i t o r , said the event was "magic".

Hot Cigarettes

M r G l y n Garside of Elec E n g 2 was b o r n i n the b o r o u g h a n d has been active i n the l o c a l L a b o u r p a r t y since the age o f fifteen. T h e K n i g h t s b r i d g e w a r d takes i n most of the C o l l e g e , i n c l u d i n g the Halls of Residence i n Princes G a r d e n s . T h e e l e c t i o n w i l l be on M a y 6.

Jumbo Success!

O V E R 200 P E O P L E were mesmerised b y h y p n o t i s t e x t r a o r d i n a i r e M a r t i n S. T a y l o r , a n d the h i l a r i o u s l y f u n n y antics o f his seventeen v o l u n t e e r s at the H . G . W e l l s S o c i e t y l e c t u r e o n M o n d a y n i g h t .

A f t e r a p r e l i m i n a r y talk o n the h i s t o ry o f h y p n o t i s m a n d life o f M e s m e r , M r T a y l o r b e g a n the l o n g a w a i t e d d e m o n s t r a t i o n . M a r t i n p l a c e d the seventeen volunteers i n t o a h y p n o t i c t r a n c e . T o test t h e i r level . o f consciousness M a r t i n r e a d out d e t a i l s o f P r e s i d e n t R e a g a n ' s defence p o l i c y w h i c h caused the v o l u n t e e r s to fall a b o u t i n hysterics o f l a u g h t e r — b u t t h e n so d i d m a n y o f the a u d i e n c e .

Micro-crowd

20,000 C I G A R E T T E S w i t h a n e s t i m a t e d v a l u e o f ÂŁ 9 0 0 were stolen f r o m the S h e r f i e l d B u i l d i n g last M o n d a y .

THE IMPERIAL COLLEGE T w o b r o w n c a r d b o a r d cartons U n i o n D e p u t y P r e s i d e n t ( w h o w i t h M a r l b o r o s t a m p e d o n i n r e d s h a l l r e m a i n nameless) gave a were left i n the c o r r i d o r beside lecture to the M i c r o C l u b last the level 1 lifts o f the b u i l d i n g T u e s d a y . T h e subject was Intel's between 2:00 a n d 5 : 0 0 p m . T h e s e A n a l o g u e processing c h i p (the lifts are near the exit to A y r t o n 8022), b u t he also m a n a g e d to R o a d a n d a n y o n e w h o s a w i n c l u d e a succinct yet c o m p r e cartons b e i n g c a r r i e d o r l o a d e d hensive e x p l a n a t i o n o f f o u r i e r i n t h e A y r t o n R o a d a r o u n d transforms. H e e x p l a i n e d to the 5 : 0 0 p m o r saw the cartons before s m a l l c r o w d h o w the c h i p c o u l d 5 : 0 0 p m are asked to contact M i - be used to p r o v i d e a v e r y c h e a p Reeves, C h i e f S e c u r i t y O f f i c e r w a y o f m o n i t e r i n g e l e c t r i c i t y (int 2741, R m 150 Sherfield). meters.

for Micro Club

Blow job in Quad

Martin S. Taylor demonstrating

the true extent of his abilities.

O t h e r stunts i n c l u d e d p e r s u a d i n g the W e l l s o c C h a i r m a n , M r Pallab G h o s h , to d e l i v e r a v e r y m o v i n g speech, w i t h a l l the wit and powers of o r a t o r y at his disposal (not much-Ed) u s i n g o n l y the first few letters of the a l p h a b e t .

T h e h i g h l i g h t o f the e v e n i n g was w h e n M a r t i n p l a c e d a posth y p n o t i c suggestion i n a y o u n g l a d y that she w o u l d see an e l e p h a n t i n the lecture theatre w h e n he said the w o r d s " m e e t J u m b o " . W h e n he repeated the phrase her i m m e d i a t e r e a c t i o n , after t u r n i n g completelyw h i t e , was " h o w the h e l l d i d y o u get that t h i n g in h e r e ? " A very e n t e r t a i n i n g e v e n i n g was r o u n d e d off n i c e l y w i t h a s h o w i n g of a v i d e o tape ol'Not The Nine O'ClockNews w h i c h p e o p l e at the lecture w o u l d have missed.

N e x t M o n d a y W e l l s o c w i l l be s h o w i n g the film Freaks. T h i s w r i t e r for one w i l l not be m i s s i n g this rare o p p o r t u n i t y to see this v e r y weird film.

Council Boring as Ever I C U C o u n c i l h a d t h e i r first m e e t i n g o f the second term last Monday.

T h e m e e t i n g began late w i t h o n l y 26 o f the 4 8 members present.

T h e President r e p o r t e d o n the p a y m e n t o f residence bills, the linen service i n H a l l s , the h e a t i n g o f H a l l s a n d his response to the discussion d o c u m e n t s p u b l i s h e d b y four o f the Subject A r e a Review Committees (SARCs).

Nick Pyne, Union Welfare Officer, demonstrating the Union Quad.

T H E E X T E N S I V E programme of W e l f a r e W e e k events began last W e d n e s d a y w i t h a C o n d o m I n f l a t i o n C o m p e t i t i o n i n the Beit Quad.

T e a m s o f three p a r t i c i p a t e d , the object b e i n g for the m e m b e r s to c o n s e c u t i v e l y i n f l a t e t h e c o n d o m u n t i l it burst.

how to give a blow fob, in

F o u r teams, c o n t a i n i n g m a n y present a n d prospective s a b b a t i c a l officers, c o m p e t e d R S M a n d I C U overcoming R C S and F E L I X i n the heats.

I n the final each t e a m m e m b e r h a d to inflate two c o n d o m s a n d R S M n a r r o w l y beat I C U .

S A R C s were f o r m e d o n the r e c o m m e n d a t i o n of the Committee o n A c a d e m i c O r g a n i s a t i o n (u n der S w i n n e r t o n - D y e r ) and External Affairs O f f i c e r , J . M a r t i n T a y l o r s u b m i t t e d a report on the C A O ' s t h i r d discussion d o c u m e n t . tankard/Life The P W P reports o n the a w a r d i n g of pewter M e m b e r s h i p a n d o n U n i o n places i n H a l l were accepted.

T h i s means the E n t e r t a i n m e n t s O f f i c e r w i l l no longer have a place in H a l l w h i l e the O S C C h a i r m a n a n d P G A f f a i r s Officer will.

T h e r e v i s i o n s o f the R a g C o n s t i t u t i o n s u b m i t t e d by the R a g C h a i r m a n was a m e n d e d before b e i n g a c c e p t e d .

A t 8 : 3 0 p m M r D . T h o m p s o n successfully c h a l l e n g e d quorum.

FELIX, February 19, 1982

Page

3

What's On Friday, February 19 •IC Angling Club, 12:30pm, Southside Upper Lounge.

•Industrial Society talk 'Coal—Fuel of the Future' with Mr Parker of N C B , 1:00pm, Chem Eng LT1.

• S o u p Run, 10:30pm, Falmouth Kitchen.

Saturday, February 20 • C r o s s C o u n t r y C l u b last Reebok League Race (Oxford). See noticeboard for details. *Railsoc visit to Old Oak Common Loco Depot (WR).

See Southside noticeboard.

Socialist Society

Sunday, February 21 • C i t y & Guilds Motor Club Autotest, 10:30am, Car Park by Civ Eng. Spectators free.

• W e s t London Chaplaincy communion service Preacher Richard Harris, Dean of Kings College, Consort Gallery.

•Wargames club meeting, 1:00pm, Union SCR.

Monday, February 22 • H a n g - g l i d i n g c l u b m e e t i n g , 12:30pm, above Southside Bar. •Badgesoc meeting, 12:30pm, Southside Bar Lounge.

• C h e m s o c lecture with Dr M.F. Perutz FRS Nobel Laureate (laboratory of molecular biology, Cambridge) on 'Haemoglobin', 4:30pm, L T C .

• T M soc meeting, 5:30pm, Huxley 411. Come along for a group med. Drinks afterwards.

•Dancing club advanced class, 7:30pm, J C R .

Tuesday, February 23 • B o a r d s a i l i n g c l u b meeting, 12:30 and 6:15pm, Southside Upper Lounge.

•Catholic mass and lunch, 12:30pm, Chem 231.

Nominal charge for lunch.

• N a t H i s t s o c l e c t u r e Prof E.R. Laithwaite on 'Butterflies', 1:00pm, Botany Basement LT. • S T O I C transmission with an interview with Timothy Hutton, whose current film Taps will be opening in London shortly, 1:00 and 6:00pm, JCR, Southside T V Lounge, Southside, Beit, Linstead. and Weeks Halls.

•Dept of Humanities presents 1. Films: The Private Lite of the Robin; The Private Life of the Wandering Albatross, 1:15pm, Read Theatre.

2. The Origins of Astronomy Pt 2: The Development of Greek Astronomy, Dr D.R. Dicks, Bedford College, London, 1:30pm, Pippard Theatre (Arranged by IC Hellenic Society).

•IC Amnesty group meeting, 5:30pm, Green Comm Rm. •Wine-tasting society meeting as usual, 6:00pm, Union SCR. • F r e e ! Cheese & Wine at Industrial Soc presentation

by Barclays, 6:00pm, Chem Eng LT1.

• S o c i a l i s t s o c i e t y s p e a k e r m e e t i n g : Communist Party, 6:30pm, Green Comm Rm. •Photosoc B & W competition, 6:30pm, Mines 303.

Entry fee 30p per print.

• D a n c i n g club beginners class, 7:30pm, J C R .

• I C C A G Soup Run, meet 10:30pm Falmouth Kitchens.

Wednesday, February

24

•Railsoc visit to Clapham Junction Signal Box. See noticeboard.

• C r o s s Country C l u b last London College League event—turn up and improve our league position. See noticeboard for details.

•Wargames club meeting, 1:00pm, Union SCR. • T M soc meeting, 1:00pm, Huxley 411.

• A n t i - a p a r t h e i d meeting, 1:00pm, Union Upper Lounge.

•Astrosoc observing meeting, 3:30pm, 'Waveguide', Physics Building, level 1. Free to members.

•IC Trampoline soc meeting, 5:30pm, Courtauld Hall, Q E C , Campden Hill Rd.

Thursday, February 25

j

• T a l k on wine-tasting, 12:30pm, Mines 303.

• S T O I C presents N E W S - B R E A K , 1:00 and 6:00pm, usual places (see Tuesday).

•Christian Science group meeting, 1:00pm, Seminar Room, Level 2S, Botany.

• C h i n e s e s o c i e t y A G M a n d e l e c t i o n s , 1:00pm, Huxley LT213H. Membership cards required.

• S F Soc presents a talk by C H R I S P R I E S T , 1:00pm, Union Senior Common Rm. Free to members. See SF Bulletin for details.

• I C U S D P soc presents a talk on 'Electoral Reform' by an ERS representative, 1:00pm, Huxley 144.

Page 4

by

N

Willson

One of the more active, but not very well funded societies in this College, is the Imperial College Socialist Society. Recently they distributed a six page photocopied newsheet called "Radical" to advertise themselves to the students at IC. The sheet contains an editor's introduction, eight articles varying in length from about one hundred to eight hundred words, ten cartoons, a joke, and an invitation from the editor to send c o m m e n t s and criticisms.

The ostensible purpose of the sheet is, of course, to persuade us to support the socialist movement and to convince us of the failure of capitalism. And some of the writers really have tried to address a wide audience and have made concessions in their articles to the apathetic or conventional-minded atmosphere at IC. The writer of an article on the Scarman Report, for example, seems to have realised that if you simply denounce the police as a bunch of racist thugs then three-quarters of the readers will dismiss it instantly. So although the police 'have racist tendencies' it's because of 'the pressures we and the government put on them'. But even this writer can't resist ascribing the most fantastically devious and cunning motives to the socialists' political enemies. Of the idea of letting under qualified people into universities (a Scarman recommendation) we're told: 'It is just a way the government can save even more money by ensuring more people get kicked out after one year!' Elsewhere it's stated that '(multinationals') methods are so insidious (that) very few people even seem aware of what they get up to Be o n your g u a r d . ' T h e r e ' s an unwillingness on the part of 'Radical' writers (and this is true of left wing writing in general) to admit that their enemies are normal people.

Instead, multinational company directors, right wing politicians and so on are portrayed as monsters of greed and cunning, eager to destroy the whole world if it gets them a better dividend. But a lot of students at IC can expect

to work for a big company when they graduate and they'll tend to identify with the very people being attacked in 'Radical'. ( A n d the articles attack them personally, not the system they have to work within). So a c a r t o o n showing a disgustingly fat white man (the West) carelessly scattering crumbs to a starving black (the developing world) is hardly likely to awaken s o c i a l i s t s y m p a t h i e s a m o n g the future managers and industrialists at I C . It's just g o i n g to c a u s e i r r i t a t i o n a n d r e s e n t m e n t a m o n g p e o p l e w h o m i g h t be o p e n to persuasion.

A g a i n , a comment in the Editor's Intro pointlessly antagonises some of his readers: ' P l e a s e e x s c u s e (sic) a n y s p e l l i n g or grammatical P T O S as we can't all have a public school education ' W h y insult people who went to a public school, as if it was their fault?

Apparently the kind of people who write for 'Radical' regard ex-public schoolboys as s u b h u m a n , just good for being sneered at. Y o u aren't going to get people on your side thai way, but a great deal of Radical and other ' s o c i al i s t ' literature is w r i t t e n w ith out any intention of persuading the reader to join the cause. Throughout the whole sheet there's an underlying holier-than-thou atmosphere that says something like 'we're good socialists and you're all apathetic nobodies, and don't you forget it'. This is sometimes stated almost e x p l i c i t l y . F o r e x a m p l e in ' O u r G l o r i o u s U n i o n Leadership?' we're told that 'the recent rejection by IC U n i o n of N U S is just one more example (what are the others?) of Imperial College students sticking their heads in the sand'. Articles like that are hardly more than a list of prefabricated slogans, highly effective for putting people off socialism. But a great many socialists don't care whether they put people off or not. T h e writing of articles denouncing capitalist exploiters, A m e r i c a n imperialists, etc., etc., is for them an end in itself, a sort of ritual that you're expected to take part in if you're a good socialist. T h e y seem to regard it a s b e n e a t h t h e m t o t r y a n d get p o p u l a r support.

A t a leftist meeting in the College recently someone was suggesting that Left candidates for U n i o n post should stand without saying that they were leftists because then they'd have a better chance of standing unopposed.

T h e p e r s o n w h o a d v o c a t e d this 'secret candidate' a p p r o a c h was grinning as he put forward the idea. T o h i m , dishonest political manoeuvrings are more important than policy c o n s i d e r a t i o n s o r t r y i n g t o get p o p u l a r s u p p o r t . T h i s is t h e l o w l e v e l at w h i c h politically inclined minds tend to w o r k . A n d left wing clubs are full of peoplle like that. W h a t do they e x p e c t to a c c o m p l i s h ? T h e S oc ialist Society might succeed in getting a few people to join t h e m , but they won't get very far so long as they remain hardly better than a mutual admiration society.

How to choose a President by As the husting and election season is here again, many of you, like me, will remember previous aspiring presidential candidates talking a lot of hot air, and making unrealistic promises.

As I see it, the minimum service that we can expect from any president is that s/he tries to: improve refectory conditions. better the accommodation situation. improve lecturing standards. fight education cuts sensibly. get a fair deal for oversea students. oversee welfare work in College.

These are broad headings and undoubtedly you will be able to think of many others. These duties are 'ex officio' and no fuss should be made about them during the campaign. By FELIX, February 19, 1982

Aung

Htun

which I mean, let's cut out the rubbishy rhetorics e.g. from last F E L I X , the three articles generalized and claimed, I quote " it is of vital importance to elect a President who is not g o i n g to let h i m s e l f be p u s h e d around " or " leading in a definite direction " or " The Union needs strong leadership " It is therefore important that we press all candidates to state exactly how they aim to achieve their goals, what methods and routes will they use and what effects will this have on us students.

Remember they are elected by you to serve you, and we are entitled to know how and what they are going to do, not what they dream of doing.

WE'RE OFFERING GRADUATES MORE T H A N CONGRATULATIONS leave c o l l e g e , o u r offer o f a l o a n stays

W h e n y o u graduate, you'll need m o r e t h a n t h e p r o u d s m i l e s o f pa r e n t s a n d

o p e n for s i x m o n t h s after y o u g r a d u a t e .

friends. Y o u ' l l need s o m e money.

Y o u ' l l n e e d i t because

So w h e n y o u find the right p o s i t i o n , w e ' l l still g i v e y o u m o r e t h a n o u r c o n -

between

l e a v i n g c o l l e g e a n d p i c k i n g u p y o u r first

gratulations.

It's i m p o r t a n t t h o u g h , that y o u t a l k

salary c h e q u e , there's a l o t t o pay for.

T h e d e p o s i t o n a flat, f o r e x a m p l e .

to your Student Business Officer now.

H e ' l l e x p l a i n the loans i n detail a n d

O r s o m e n e w c l o t h e s f o r t h e office.

Perhaps even a season ticket. A n d o f

m a k e a r r a n g e m e n t s for t h e m o n e y t o be

c o u r s e , y o u ' l l s t i l l h a v e t o eat.

a v a i l a b l e i m m e d i a t e l y y o u n e e d it.

L e a v i n g y o u o n l y one t h i n g to t h i n k

I f . y o u g r a d u a t e w i t h a f i r m j o b offer,

a b o u t before y o u leave c o l l e g e .

w e can h e l p finance this lean time.

Y o u r finals.

O u r special G r a d u a t e L o a n S c h e m e w i l l p r o v i d e y o u w i t h u p t o £500

at

Typical examples of graduate loans

c o m p e t i t i v e i n t e r e s t rates.

And

we'll give you up

/J 300 L o a n £500 L o a n

to

M'R:

t h r e e clear m o n t h s t o g e t settled

i n before y o u

22.6.82

laken up on: :, 11 M o n t h l y Pavrncnts of: 12th Payment:

start

3.9.82

17.5%

17.5%

/;28.00

£46.66

£28.02 on 22.8.83

£46.72 on 3.11.83

lbtal A m o u n t Payable: £336.02

m a k i n g repayments.

£559.98

Annual IViwntaiic Kale ol (ihurgc. i )t'course. Barclays liase Rate may van from time hi time and this will afteel your monthly payments.

A f t e r this y o u ' l l have

1

12 m o n t h s t o pay us b a c k

B A R C L A Y S

E v e n if y o u don't have a j o b offer at t h e t i m e y o u

-

FELIX.

February

19.

1982

i V; s

Page 5

8.8.

O k my G M t

8if Hi there, old B.B. is back in action after a short rest. I'm still on the lookout for any' juicy bits of scandal, so if you have any material for exposes (including dirty halftruths) then drop them in at the FELIX Office. Anonymity guaranteed, of course.

Anyway, this week I thought I'd take another look around the darker recesses of the College. With a little help from talkative people it is quite amazing what you can find o u t . F o r i n s t a n c e , d i d y o u k n o w the background to a front page story of two weeks ago..

Whilst the story "Theft in Lexham Gardens" made the front page of FELIX 604, there are a few details which the Editor, in his wisdom, failed to mention.

Soon after it was discovered that three flats had been broken into, the student manager of Lexham Gardens, Sean Giblin, arrived to investigate. In the room of R C S Academic Affairs Officer T o m Owen he couldn't help noticing a collection of glossy magazines (bearing such titillating titles as "Victorian T e m p t a t i o n " and " M i s s Sadie Stern's Monthly") which had been strewn across the floor by the thief. They had been torn out of an envelope by the mystery assailant and Sean, in the true Sherlock Holmes spirit, couldn't resist checking them over for vital evidence.

Later in the evening Sean returned with a detective and discovered that T o m had already rome back and "tidied up", obviously to avoid any unnecessary embarrassment.

The detective produced a little metal boxand dusted the room for fingerprints, but to no avail. As he was about to give up he said what he really needed was a piece of paper or a magazine which had been gripped firmly, hence leaving a good impression.

At this point Sean casually reminded Tom about his little collection, which was soon produced for dusting. He was a little surprised, to say the least, that exhibit A in a trial could be his delightful selection of tasteful adult literature!

However, he had nothing to fear: when the covers of the books were brushed with the detective's fine powder, a surprising result appeared. "These are no good," the detective c r i e d . " T h e y ' r e a b s o l u t e l y covered in fingerprints!"

Page 6

A few weeks ago a rather amusing practical joke was played on Pallab Ghosh, H . G . Wells Society C h a i r m a n , and M r L e n Moulder, Chem Eng photographer.

Pallab, who is not renowned for his speed of thought, unwisely asked the FELIX staff for suggestions about a speaker for the H . G .

Wells Society as there was a date free which he had to fill at short notice. Whilst he was away fetching the necessary bribes for their co-operation (tea in this case) the Editor cooked up a scheme to fool him.

O n Pallab's return, laden with his liquid treat, Steve Marshall suggested a well-known speaker who was highly talented and amusing.

Len Moulder, he said, was a linguist of great note whose celebrated lecture on British regional accents was very popular, mainly due to a fascinating demonstration in which Moulder could pinpoint someone's origins (by their accent) to within ten miles. The other staff members all agreed that Len was the ideal man to get and heaped praises on this amazing man's talents. "He's just like Professor Higgins out of Pygmalion!" Steve Marshall added for good measure.

Fired with such glowing reports Pallab phoned Mr Moulder the next morning. Len was most surprised to be put forward as a possible l e c t u r e r , explaining that as a photographer he had a keen eye for human response, but that he was no academic.

Eventually after a lot of persuasion he agreed to consider the idea. In a subsequent phone call Len explained that he would like to give a few opinions about student life at IC (which may not, for reasons of sensitivity, be repeated here) and also something about "finding knickers in the offices of certain Professors".

However, he finally withdrew and neither he, nor Mr Ghosh, were aware of the little joke, that had been played.

BeOtokTwdi Somebody noticed a strange coincidence the other day. When Mr Peter Rodgers took on the post of I C U Handbook Editor, he became the third Irishman to do the job in succession. His predecessors were Paul Donovan and Dave Crabbe, both of whom hail from the emerald isle.

Thinking about it, the Handbook is a very difficult thing to put together and involves a lot of hard manual labour. Rather like building motorways I suppose!

However a further Irish link came to mind which smacks of a conspiracy. Last year a wee Irish lass, Liz Lindsay, was I C U Honorary Secretary. T h i s year of course we have another well-known Irishman in the post— Marc O'Ledwold.

Speaking of Marc O'Ledwold, have you ever considered the connotation of the adjective of his title? Scaramouche has pointed out to me that, according to C h a m b e r s Dictionary, ' h o n o r a r y ' means " w i t h o u t p e r f o r m i n g services or without r e w a r d " . N o w as a sabbatical, the secretary certainly receives a reward, so we are forced to conclude

FELIX, February

19,

1982

Scupp&ieA If you've ever arrived at a room in the Sherfield Building expecting to play your badminton match or have a meeting, only to find it already occupied by several hundred inscrutable orientals chanting mantras and smoking opium, then you have no doubt already heard of the College Bookings Office.

This delightful Office is responsible for the hire of College facilities for conferences, parties, etc., to staff, students and outside organisations (who pay well for the privilege).

Mid-way through 1981 a new bookings manager, Mr Tony Schaffner, was appointed who was a salesman in every sense of the word and immediately started to book out every room in sight. This resulted in a series of mismatched and ill-timed events (for instance the R C S Centenary Ball clashed with an I C Symphony Orchestra Concert).

However, shortly before Christmas M r Shaffner mysteriously disappeared!

Senior members of the College administration were questioned and all seemed to give the same answer: " H e was here one day and gone the next. We don't know what happened."

Intrigued by such obvious evasion from the lickspittles, I broke off from my search for Lord Lucan and was soon hot on the trail.

What actually happened on that fated day was pieced together over the intervening period.

O n e thing is certain. M r Shaffner was s a c k e d by C a p t a i n L i n d l e y , D o m e s t i c Secretary and his immediate superior. The Bookings wizz kid was summoned to the old salt's presence and soon returned in a temper, slamming the doors as usual. He threw his files and dentures into his tatty briefcase, gave a cry of "Skupperedr and hasn't been seen since.

The horrendous crimes which he must have committed to have been sacked a r e not known. But jobs are protected like gold in the Sherfield Building and most senior people are usually well on the road to senile decay when they're put out to grass.

But perhaps his views on Captain Lindley were a contributing factor. Once he was heard to remark "When I first came I thought FELIX were being a bit hard on the old duffer. But after working with him for six months I've found out that he's a complete idiot."

Stem WlmkM^ E n i c f a Cmm T h e O i l y D o w s o n M e m o r i a l P r i z e for misleading headlines was today presented to Mr M . A . Smith, the FELIX Editor. He takes the title from the current holder, M r S. Goulder, who rose to fame last year with John Passmore's Halitosis.

Quote* "We're not here to entertain people!" Paul Belford, Secretary of IC Ents.

Re the new hand-dryer in the Union Bar toilets: " M r Mooney assures me that it's practically impossible to bugger this dryer."

Nicholas George Davis, BSc (failed).

CLUBS AND SOCIETIES Left Alliance

Bookshop News I a m sorry for any inconvenience caused by the lack of laboratory books. T h e specialist company that produces t h e m had our order on J u n e 9 1981. I personally placed it in the marketing manager's hot sweaty hand and to date we still have not had them. H o w e v e r , I have managed to get an alternative w h i c h may not be approved by your tutor, i.e. the graph is o n right and lines on left, though the principle is the same. If I may request a small favour: if y o u all would write to our supplier bemoaning the fact that our lab. b o o k s have not appeared, 1 would be most grateful. T h e i r address is: E . S . A . Cr eativ e Learning L t d , Fairview R o a d , Stevenage, Herts.

New Titles British Relais R o u r i e r s - D u n l o p £2.50 Further Letters of Henry R o o r - F u t u r a £1.50 W o r l d Classics The Ccrnpleat Ang/er-Izaak W a l t o n £1.95 Autobiography of a super trampVJ.H. Davies, £2.50 A London Child of the 1870s-M.V. H u g h e s, £1.50 A London Girl of the 1880s-M.V. H u g h e s , £1.75 A London Home in the I 8 9 0 ' s - M . V . H u g h e s , £1.50 A London Family Between the Wars-M.V. H u g h e s, £1.75

Pimlico

O v e r the past three weeks, joint meetings have been held between IC L a b o u r C l u b , Liberal C l u b and Socialist Society to see how they could w o r k together to greater effect within Imperial College. It was found that within I C there was a great deal of c o m m o n ground and general agreement was reached that there aims could be better achieved by concerted campaigns involving members from all three societies. T o this end an informal 'left alliance' is now in existence and to get the alliance off to a start it has been agreed to launch an anti-apartheid campaign along with A n t i - A p a r t h e i d Society in order to make people more aware of the atrocities of apartheid, (e.g. Sharpville massacre, internment without trail occupation of N a m i b i a by S o u t h A f r i c a n forces; repression of black and coloured S o u t h Africans in all walks of life), and to try and stop the involvement of I C staff and students in the apartheid regime, i.e. commitment to having no more S o u t h A f r i c a n students on nuclear technology courses and the end to a careers forum for companies like Rio T i n t o Zinc which is involved in N a m i b i a . S o far the I C left alliance has been well supported and it is hoped that everyone in College will be able to contribute to the campaign against apartheid. T h e next meeitng of the alliance will be on T h u r s d a y , February 25, 1:00pm, U n i o n Senior Common Room.

SF Soc

Connection

T h e Pimlico C o n n e c t i o n was set up six years ago, as a tutoring scheme with the idea of increasing the communication of scientific ideas. T h e n , the numbers involved could be counted o n one h a n d , now nearly ninety Imperial College students travel out to five local schools.

Subjects T u t o r e d Science at all levels, but mainly pre O L e ve l.

Engineering—mainly w o o d w o r k and metalwork. Students with individual w o r k s h o p experience especially appreciated.

Mathematics at ail levels.

Electronics—mainly at C S E L e ve l.

B a c k in 1981 J o h n Sladek initiated the S F S o c series of visits by authors to College. Scant months ago Barrington Bayley became author number two. O n T h u r s d a y , February 25, C h r i s Priest comes to the Senior C o m m o n R o o m in the U n i o n Building, and the series of visits can now justifiably be called that. M r Priest's main peculiarity as an author is that each book he writes is better than the one before. A n y o n e who has read Inverted World, Indoctrinaire, Fugue for a Darkening World, A Space Dream of IVessex, The Machine, An Infinite Sumemr, The Affirmation o r e v e n the Lesbian House is sure to want to

Small Ads A p p r o x i m a t e l y 13:30 to 15:30 each W e d n e s d a y afternoon in the autumn term and first four weeks of the spring term.

Travel expenses are paid. No previous experience needed.

If y o u would like to find out more, then c o m e along (with no strings attached!) to Elec E n g 606 at 12:30 on Tuesday, F e b r u a r y 23. A pay-asyou-eat lunch will be provided and you c a n chat to students involved this year.

H o w e v e r , if y o u cannot m a k e it, then contact Sinclair G o o d l a d EE501 (int 3080), T o n y Potter C h e m E n g 3, or J o h n H u g h e s E E 2 .

ICU

Handbook

A r t i c l e s are now being a c c e p t e d for the next U n i o n H a n d b o o k . All club, society and C C U articles must be handed in before the deadline. Any articles from Council should also be in before the deadline which is F r i d a y , A p r i l 30; i.e. the first Friday of the summer term.

Contributions should be placed in the Handbook Box on the noticeboard beside the stairs in the F E L I X Office.

It is up to clubs and societies to appoint someone to write their article if their elections have not taken place before the deadline.

Anyone who is interested in writing/compiling guides is asked to discuss them with the Editor before starting.

Contributions should be printed (or typed) on one side of the paper and handed in as soon as possible.

Peter Rodgers

FELIX, February

• O n e pair of stereo h e a d p h o n e s , £3.

C o n t a c t S. H o d g e s , M a t h s 3.

• V i v i t a r 125 f l a s h g u n , vgc. A n y offers to Phi l B i r d , E E 3 , 424 T i z a r d Hall.

• T e c h n i c s M14 cassette deck, vgc, o n l y 9mths o l d , £70ono. C o n t a c t A. R o s e n , C i v E n g 3.

• A p p r o x 130lbs s c r a p brass a n d steel, u n w a n t e d present. C o n t a c t N i c k C .

H a r m e r , P h y s i c s 3.

• H y d e P a r k Relay, S a t u r d a y , F e b r u a r y 27. H e l p e r s urgently n e e d e d . Free sweatshirt d o n a t e d by NatWest to all volunteers. Details from Cross C o u n t r y n o t i c e b o a r d or R i c h a r d S m i t h , int 4306.

• W a n t e d : 1 pair of roller s k a t e s a n d knee length leg w a r m e r s (must be brightly c o l o u r e d ) . C o n t a c t G e n e r a l Joe J a h Rastaman Winston Smith, BE2.

• W a n t e d : first L a n d s c a p e L P (or t a p e of), g o o d p r i c e paid. S i m o n Y o u n g , E l e c E n g 1.

• W a n t e d : o n e b a s h hat or s k i d lid.

A p p l y B e n Quirk, P h y s i c s 1.

• W a n t e d : eight idiots to beat us at darts, J . L e w i s , C i v E n g 1 (letterracks).

• W a n t e d : 2 crates O x y - 1 0 . C o n t a c t Rm 472 Sherfield.

• Wanted: pukebags and toupee.

C o n t a c t C h u w d e r m a n , Pet E n g 3.

• L o s t : Silver coloured brooch (showi n g t w o f l o w e r s ) at F r i d a y ' s D & D , H y d e Park H o t e l o r U n i o n B u i l d i n g .

G r e a t s e n t i m e n t a l value, h e n c e big reward. If f o u n d c o n t a c t A . M e y s n e r , c / o Aero 3 pigeonhole.

19, 1982

c o m e . S o join the groupies at one o'clock at the venue previously mentioned if y o u want to see the greatest living English S F writer in the flesh (sorry B r a i n , sorry J . G . , I'm sure y o u don't m i n d Russell).

O K , I k n o w J o h n B r u n n e r ' s still alive, but I do have to limit the length of this bulletin you k n o w , can't mention everyone, what do you want blood?

A l s o c o m i n g soon, T h e B i g B u s , but more of that some other time, and o n M a r c h 23 an event to finish off those who survived Relativity and Plan 9 from Outer Space.

A u t h o r ' s note: any mistakes in the spelling of this article are nothing to do with me. Y o u r s straining for the o p t i m u m .

John Leslie Stephenson & Earless Osdick • A n y o n e take a grey scarf f r o m t h e Union B a r on Sunday evening, Feb 14? R e t u r n o r info l e a d i n g to s a m e g u a r a n t e e d m o n e t a r y / l i q u i d reward.

C o n t a c t K e v Reeve, IC U n i o n .

• C o u l d anyone w h o knows anything a b o u t t h e d i s a p p e a r a n c e of a M i c r o n t a 43 R a n g e M u l t i m e t e r f r o m the J a z z R o o m c u p b o a r d please c o n t a c t me. It is J a z z C l u b P r o p e r t y . M a r c u s E v a n s , R m 124 F a l m o u t h .

• W o u l d the p e r s o n w h o ' b o r r o w e d ' my b l u e s u e d e p u r s e f r o m level 4, L y o n Playfair, please return it to m e a s it has great s e n t i m e n t a l value. Y o u c a n k e e p the m o n e y . J u l i a J e n r i c k , Life S c i 3.

• P l e a s e have y o u a free W e d n e s d a y a f t e r n o o n ? If s o , help is d e s p e r a t e l y n e e d e d in visiting o l d p e o p l e at St. P a n c r a s H o s p i t a l c o m e to a m e e t i n g M o n d a y , 12:30pm, t o p of the U n i o n , in the C o m m u n i t y A c t i o n G r o u p R o o m .

• T o a l l m e m b e r s of the J u d o C l u b w h o o r d e r e d j u d o g h . If they ar e n o t c o l l e c t e d by the e n d of next w e e k t h e y will be d i s p o s e d of in the e a s i e s t w a y possible.

• S k i C l u b next H i l l i n g d o n trip will b e on W e d n e s d a y , F e b r u a r y 23 e v e n i n g .

Meet 7:30pm at t h e s l o p e .

• B a d g e s o c make badges for U n i o n h a c k s , secret s o c i e t i e s , fringe r e l i g i o u s g r o u p s , a n y o n e .

T a s t e n o object, e.g. . Contact Lee Mercer, c / o M e c h E n g .

• F r e e ! C h e e s e a n d w i n e — Industrial S o c presentation by B a r c l a y s B a n k , 6:00pm, T u e s d a y , F e b 23, C h e m E n g LT1.

• I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e A n g l i n g C l u b trip t o Ireland. Written details ar e a v a i l a b l e f r o m Dave K e l s a l l , R m G 1 0 , C h e m E n g , int 2594.

• B U N A C a n d y o u r s u m m e r in U S A , t o d a y 12:30-1:30 in the G r e e n C o m m Rm.

Page 7

Anti-Apartheid Group P e r h a p s there are still people a r o u n d w h o don't k n o w that 1982 is the U N International Y e a r for t h e M o b i l i s a t i o n of S a n c t i o n s against S o u t h A f r i c a . W e l l — i t is!

S o , the A n t i - A p a r t h e i d G r o u p will be b u s y r u n n i n g a r o u n d picketting any c o m p a n y that is heavily linked with S o u t h A f r i c a , a n d that is visiting College o n the milk-round.

A l s o there will be a national m a r c h , campaigning for sanctions; this will be o n S u n d a y , M a r c h 14.

T o find out m o r e , c o m e to our m e e t i n g s o n W e d n e s d a y s at 1:00pm in the U n i o n U p p e r Lounge.

Community Action

Group

S o u p Runs on Fridays and Tuesd a y s m e e t i n g at 1 0 : 3 0 p m i n F a l m o u t h K i t c h e n s . T r i p s out to t a k e s o u p a n d b r e a d to the homeless o n the streets. S e e the sights of L o n d o n at night.

S a t u r d a y afternoon—help with h a n d i c a p p e d children.

W e d n e s d a y afternoon—visiting people at S t . P a n c r a s H o s p i t a l .

D r a u g h t p r o o f i n g homes.

Friday and Tuesday night— Soup Runs.

V i s i t i n g o l d people o n H i g h S t .

K e n s i n g t o n w h e n it suits y o u .

Please s h o w s o m e interest a n d c o m e to the meeting M o n d a y 12:30pm, top of the U n i o n .

Snooker O n a n o t h e r of those hot steamy nights in the S n o o k e r R o o m last week, the C t e a m beat the B t e a m 3-2 a n d the A t e a m s c r a p e d h o m e against B e d f o r d 5-0.

C t e a m stars were K r u s z e w s k i , J e n n i n g s a n d s o m e bloke called H o l t w h o s e e m s t o be appearing with s o m e regularity in these c o l u m n s . B team honour was u p h e l d by W r i g h t a n d G a n n u r a y .

W e h a d the most w e l c o m e sight of a female player amongst the Bedford team, and Simpkin suffered numerous nervous disorders before beating her, albeit with dirty tactics s u c h as kicking her drink over. This victory must put the A t e a m o n top of the league, with the B t e a m in s e c o n d place.

W e h a d a n upset in the handicap tournament last week w h e n the little-known N i c o l a i d e s shattered C P . T r i p p ' s d r e a m of d o i n g the double. T h i s c o m p e t i t i o n is n o w totally unpredictable and it's anybody's guess (or bet) as to w h o ' s going t o w i n .

Page 8

V e r y s o o n you'll be faced with lots of articles w h i c h begin "I expect by n o w you're getting b o r e d with articles w h i c h begin " Y e s folks, if y o u haven't noticed already, election time is with us. In connection with this annual event (which o c c u r s every year) the IC Radio Breakfast S h o w ( M o n d a y s , W e d n e s d a y s and F r i d a y s , 8:00-9:15am) is taking an in-depth look at election fever, how to c a t c h it, who to give it to when you've got it a n d what antidotes are available for it.

Boredom A l l election candidates are invited to m a k e promotions, which must be less than a minute long, that will be broadcast regularly on the air to c o n v i n c e everyone that they're not really boring U n i o n hacks. IC Radio pe r s o n n el are available to assist with the technicalities of the production, but candidates should have an idea of what they want to say. It usually takes about an h o u r to produce a promotion—less time than pasting up a poster. P r o s p e c t i v e sabbaticals should get in t o u c h with I C R a d i o (int 3440) as s o o n as possible to avoid a last minute rush (studio time is limited to 24 hours each day). P r o m o t i o n s will be broadcast from the evening papers c o m e d o w n whether or not all the candidates have bothered to m a k e one (or more).

Apathy T h e almost legendary I C R a d i o election programmes m a k e their return to the airwaves at the end of ' H u s t i n g s W e e k ' . T h e y are broadcast live from one of the College bars (usually Southside, now k n o w n as ' H a r r y ' s B a r ' ) , a n d give a n y m e m b e r s of the U n i o n who c o m e along to the bar the opportunity of a s k i n g the candidates lots of embarrassing questions.

E l e c t i o n c a n d i d a t e s are r e m i n d e d to p r e p a r e t h e m s e l v e s psychologically for the programmes, w h i c h are an excellent way of reaching s o m e of the apathetic majority of voters.

W h y Bother?

R e m e m b e r , if y o u want to get involved in I C Radio, either to pursue your creativeness i n the technical department or b e c o m e a presenter and realise y o u r potential as a megastar, it is not too late. N e w recruits are always welcome; indeed, in the past fortnight, two novice presenters (a local e u p h e m i s m for D J s ) have t a k e n to the airwaves, y o u could join them!

Natural History

D o n ' t forget that T u e s d a y is P a n c a k e D a y , so be in Beit Q u a d at lunchtime for a special treat.

O u r Hustings U G M (i.e. all the elections speeches) is on T h u r s d a y and this will be very useful to decide who to vote for, so please attend. Unfortunately W r e n c h and S c r e w won't be there, but do not w o r r y , they are safe a n d well, and will appear soon.

Finally, our Rugby Sevens c o m p e t i t i o n w i l l be h e l d n e x t S u n d a y (28) so get those teams together.

Happy Pancakes Day. Phil L a t e s o c c er result: S o c c e r Sixes w o n b y 22 C l u b t e a m , w h o ' s captain coincidentally organized the competition.

Industrial

A brief m e n t i o n of the N o r f o l k B r o a d s w e e k e n d F e b r u a r y 6-7.

F a n t a s t i c . 90 s p e c i e s i n c l u d i n g c r a n e s (megatich) s m e w , bittern, 9 s i g h t i n g s of h e n h a r r i e r , the intriguingly named whitefronts, bean geese, ruddy duck, and b e a r de d tit pygmy shrew, fish a n d c h i p s , p o r k pies, the dreaded N o r f o l k ales a n d the winner of the loudest snorer competition.

A h e c k of a lot of things are organised b y N a t H i s t S o c so look out for notices.

Methodist

T o d a y s e e s t h e d e p a r t u r e of J e z e b e l for C o l o g n e for a few days of being admired. If y o u want any details of this trip (which may still have seats available at £20 each) please contact D u n c a n Batty, C h e m 2, or Barney M c C a b e .

N e x t Friday, for a mere £5.50 y o u c o u l d a t t e n d the M o p s o c A n n u a l D i n n e r , courtesy of M r M o o n e y . Bearing in mind that the subsidy of this event has c o m e out of your U n i o n funds, y o u might as well attend. See J a c k i e Liddell, Physics 3, for tickets.

Soc

B r a v i n g the pages of F E L I X , the M e t h s o c publicity team (having spent the first few weeks of t e r m relearning h o w to write) a n n o u n c e s o m e t h i n g interesting. Flying in especially f r o m A u s t r i a o u r visiting speaker, P a s t o r P o k o r n y is a n exN a z i y o u t h l e a d e r a n d w i l l be talking about the t r i u m p h of the c r o s s o v e r t h e t y r r a n y of t h e swastika.

T i m e , m a n o r , place, i n correct German grammatical order, W e d n e s d a y , F e b r u a r y 2 4 , at 12:40pm, by foot o r take the lifts to the C h e m E n g c o n c o u r s e , in E450 i n C h e m E n g .

T O D A Y ! " C o a l — F u e l of t h e F u t u r e " with M r P a r k e r , who is C e n t r a l Planning D i r e c t o r of the N C B , i . e . a big m a n , 1 : 0 0 p m , C h e m E n g Theatre 1 as usual.

T h i s follows our most successful talk yet, w h e n l a n Ross entertained and informed at least fifty people in C h e m E n g T h e a t r e 1 l a s t Friday. H e gave a brief synopsis of how he became B B C Industry C o r r e s p o n d e n t ("I didn't have the brains to go to the B a r " ) , then pointed out a heavy bias throughout the B r i t i s h m e d i a t o w a r d s reporting mainly industrial disputes ("Editors like a g o o d punch-up!") w h i c h gives foreigners their impression of Britian being strikeb o u n d all the time.

Definitely a monster event, a n d thanks to those w h o c a m e along.

T h i s T u e s d a y , F e b r u a r y 23, the C o r p o r a t e M a n a g e r of Barclays B a n k gives a presentation about the activities and graduate s c h e m e s of B a r c l a y s . F r e e cheese and wine too!! 6:00p, guess where? Y e p , C h e m E n g L T l .

Finally, if you w o u l d like a swish 1982 l e a t h e r - l o o k I n d u s t r i a l S o c i e t y diary for only 60p, d r o p a note to C h r i s W i l s h a w , C h e m E n g 4, o r c o l l a r a n y c o m m i t t e e member. Y o u ' l l m a k e o u r Treasurer ever so happy.

FELIX, February 19, 1982

If it's after 10:00am when y o u are reading this article, a n d you're going to C a m b o r n e — f o r g e t it!

Y o u ' r e t o o l a t e . Coaches are leaving at 10:00am sharp!!

Y o u have to recover from the w e e k e n d pretty quickly though c a u s e n e x t w e e k e n d , is t h e N o t t i n g h a m 7s and the M i n i n g 6s.

A n y o n e i n t e r e s t e d in g o i n g t o N o t t i n g h a m sign o n the list opposite G 2 0 . W e will also be going R a g collecting—so anyone w h o sells a few Rag M a g s may be able to have their c o a c h money refunded. T h e cost of the c o a c h will be approximately £2 and £1 will be refunded for every 20 Rag M a g s sold. C o a c h leves about 10:00am.

S o c c e r 6s o n S u n d a y — g e t your teams organised!

J u s t to r e m i n d everyone that the e l e c t i o n s are c o m i n g up s o o n — anyone interested in standing for a post should talk to the person holding that post this year.

Last W e d n e s d a y ' s O x f o r d Rag M a g trip was a great success with over £200 being collected by the 18 people who went.

T h e M i n e s Revue o n F r i d a y was also extremely successful—so everyone note the dates for the M i n e s / I F disco w h i c h is M a r c h 11—be there!!

Sword and sorcery returns with D r a g o n s l a y e r (A, M a t t h e w Robbins) in which sorcerer's apprentice G a l e n (Peter M a c N i c o l ) is called o n to kill a monstrous dragon, when his m a s t e r U l r i c h ( R a l p h R i c h a r d s o n ) is p r e m a t u r e l y k i l l e d . T h e d r a g o n , w i t h the impressive name V e r m i t h r a x Pejorative, is terrorizing Urland and cowardly King C a s i o d o r u s has made a deal to sacrifice virgin m a i d e n s ( s e l e c t e d b y l o t t e r y ) to s a v e h i s kingdom from the ravages of the beast.

T h e s t a r of t h e f i l m i s u n d o u b t e d l y V e r m i t h r a x , who was created in miniature stop-motion animation form by Industrial Light a n d M a g i c ( w h o s u p p l i e d e f f e c t s for The Empire Strikes Back a n d Raiders of the Lost Ark) and in full scale by the D i s n e y studios.

T h e problem is that the impressive dragon is only matched by Sir R a l p h R i c h a r d s o n as .Ulrich, the other actors (especially the two leads) being fairly weak. T h e story is cluttered and confused a n d really could have been a lot better. Nevertheless, it has a few inspired moments and is certainly entertaining.

T h e best release of recent weeks in my opinion is L a w r e n c e K a s d a n ' s B o d y H e a t starring William H u r t a n d K a t h l e e n T u r n e r .

This is a stylish m u r d e r story in w h i c h N e d Recine, a seedy lawyer, falls for the wife of a rich m a n w h o m they then kill. N o w this theme is all too familiar, but this film succeeds where many others (notably The Postman Always Rings Twice) failed. T h e setting is excellent and the script convincing, if a little cliched at times.

Sir Ralph Richardson

as Ulrich in Dragonslayer

K a s d a n has deliberately p r o d u c e d a tribute to film noir a n d evokes memories of s u c h classics as The Big Sleep. B y adding a more s e n s u a l ( e v e n e r o t i c ) a p p r o a c h he h a s successfully updated the genre. I found it an intriguing, exciting film.

F a n s of h a r d a c t i o n will e n j o y M i c h a e l W i n n e r ' s D e a t h W i s h II (X, Leicester Square Theatre) in w h i c h C h a r l e s B r o n s o n once more dons his donkey jacket and woolly hat to wage a private war against crime.

T h e original Death Wish was a violent and i m p r e s s i v e film, w h o s e vigilante hero was cheered by cinema audiences in A m e r i c a . T h e

Turner in Bodyheat.

appeal has waned a little and the violence has become more explicit, but the story is really the same. Paul K e r s e y has m o v e d from N e w Y o r k to L o s Angeles and his daughter and housekeeper are killed after muggers raid his home. T h i s sets K e r s e y out o n another spree of revenge killings, bringing his o w n retribution where police methods fail.

B r o n s o n holds the film together, but apart from him the cast are fairly dull. Jill Ireland as his unconvincing lover is particularly wooden.

T h e feeling of subdued elation as B r o n s o n corners and kills the assailants remains, but the film offers nothing more than the original.

multi-stained, duck-egg blue bush suit". H i s rapport with the audience grows, as it seems d o e s t h e side o n w h i c h he d r e s s e s ! H i s constant imbibing of the odd S c o t c h or twelve allow his words to reach the " p a u p e r s " in the ' G o d s ' on the wings of his saliva. W i t h a song and dance routine reminiscent of ' S k i p p y ' and the Australian ballet he made his exit.

Phil Philby, introduced by B a r r y N o r m a n as " t h e l e a d i n g i n n o v a t o r of n o n - m a i n s t r e a m Australian cineaste" talked to us about his latest film ' C a g e of D a r k n e s s ' . M a d e on a modest grant of l ' ^ m from the Australian A r t s C o u n c i l the film we learn is "poetically shot, tastefully recreating the torment of two lesbian aborignes in an ail female Australian p r i s o n " .

T h e girls are p l a y e d m a s t e r l y by J o a n Sutherland a n d Y v o n n e G o o l a g o n g a n d the part of the leather-clad binocularised warder

by Olivia N e w t o n - J o h n . T h i s was a superb cameo piece and developed into one of the evening's highlights as Phil satirised most of the problems associated with the S o u t h e r n continent's film industry.

" G e e A i m e r , what quaint lit'l o f back streets are 'round here " I overheard from a middlea g e d A m e r i c a n c o u p l e as we w e r e b e i n g c a r r i e d along w i t h the flow from C o v e n t G a r d e n ' s tube station d o w n towards D r u r y Lane. " these British surely k n o w how to keep L o n d o n ' s o l d w o r l d c h a r m , just looky up at t h o s e A a a r g h h ! ! ! ! " and our necks snapped back at the sight of the D r u r y L a n e T h e a t r e . . . . " C o m e and have intercourse with D a m e E d n a h e r e " r e a d the o b s c e n e , multicoloured neon flashes a n d from the foyer below c a m e the familiar hiss of the Fosters ringpulls a n d the ethnic sounds of a multitude of Aussies' awfully austere accents.

O n this, the opening night of M r H u m p h r i e s ' p r e s e n t a t i o n of t e n w e e k s of A u s t r a l i a n culture, many of the world's most eminent dignitories were present in the audience, D a v i d Steel, B a r r y N o r m a n a n d M r s Iris C l i s s o l d (mind you, little movements in the 'Royal B o x ' c on vin c ed me that there was indeed an affinity of some sort between certain 'people' in the f r o n t of t h e H o u s e a n d a c e r t a i n p e r s o n backstage).

W e were s h o w n to our seats, but due to an unforunate series of accidents earlier o n with the rehearsal audience each seat had to be sprayed with an air freshener by our charming usherette.

T h e lights d i m m e d , the b a n d began and the evening's euphoria forced itself u p o n us with Sir Leslie C o l i n P a t t e r s o n (Cultural A t t a c h e to the C o u r t of S t . James) stately circling the stage. T o c o m e in late while S i r L e s is in midphrase is to simply ask for it, to c o m e in late and take your seat in one of the front three rows is either carelessness or social-ladder

and Kathleen

Dame Edna Everage, megastar, waving her

mother, gladdies.

millionairess,

climbing, because let's face it, you're either going to be p i c k e d on or spat on whichever comes first. Sir L e s is the epitomy of the D o w n - u n d e r e m p r i s a r i o — a n d the more that y o u listen to h i m , the more you get the feeling that Australian culture has something to offer u s — w h a t it is, is a matter of your o w n taste and of Sir L e s ' bad taste. H e seems to have problems relating to w h i c h side he "dresses o n " and it certainly sticks out in his "gouchy, FELIX, February

19, 1982

Sandy Stone (which I believe to be M r H u m p h r i e s ' g r e a t e s t c r e a t i o n ) is a p o o r , dejected m a n , permanently reflecting o n his life g o n e by i n a m o n o t o n e v o i c e . T h e m o n o l o g u e s a s s o c i a t e d w i t h S a n d y reveal m u c h about suburban life D o w n U n d e r , the T u p p e r w a r e parties, looking after the kids of V a l d a C l i s s o l d and revealing just how boring life in the s u b u r b s c a n be. Y o u m u s t be prepared to listen to S a n d y because under that dressing gown, pajamas and hot watter bottle facade there lingers a very moving but deeply, deeply funny character.

D a m e E d n a takes up the entire second half of the evening's entertainment reducing (in her Gallipoli tights) most of the front rows to Continued on next page Page 9

Continued

from page 9. seeing. T h e theatre is very close t o S l o a n e S q u a r e tube s t a t i o n , a n d seats a n d standby i abject n e r v o u s n e s s , w o n d e r i n g " w i l l s h e p i c k tickets a r e very m o d e s t l y p r i c e d . T h e playf o n m e ? " o r f r o m the look in the eye of the lady ends o n M a r c h 27. behind me..."oh m y God,...she's picked o n m e ! ! ! " It really is Intercourse with D a m e E d n a a n d she carries o n a r a p p o r t w i t h the audience that at times resembles a n afternoon tea party r o u n d at G r a n ' s . I just c o u l d not stop laughing throughout her time o n stage, a n d as the tears streamed down my cheesk the set was transformed into a glittering E d n a r a m a c o m p l e t e with m a r s u p i a l i n tree.

A u d i e n c e participation is the feature of the s h o w a n d I'm the last p e r s o n t o give away any of t h e secrets, y o u ' l l have t o j og a r o u n d t o D r u r y L a n e a n d buy y o u r o w n w a y i n , but o n e thing I will s a y is that there are gladdies, a n d they appear i n their h u n d r e d s .

W h e n w e all left the theatre for t h e tube (no, n o t t h e F o s t e r s type!) resplendent with a r m s full of gladdies t h e o l d station b r o u g h t b a c k m e m o r i e s of t h e O l d G a r d e n a n d I d o believe I caught a nostalgic tear in the eye of the lift attendant as w e all d e s c e n d e d the shaft.

Andy Best

Operation Bad Apple by G.F. Newman.

Directed by Max Stafford-Clark, Royal Court Theatre Operation Bad Apple, b y the novelist a n d s c r i p t w r i t e r G . F . N e w m a n , is about police c o r r u p t i o n . N e w m a n first a c h i e v e d p r o m i n e n c e w i t h a series of tough b u t realistic police novels, b u t i n 1978 his four television films f o r m i n g t h e basis of Law and Order were transmitted by the B B C and generated c o n s i d e r a b l e critical a c c l a i m a n d n o small m e a s u r e of c o n t r o v e r s y . Operation Bad Apple is his first stage play.

T h e play e x a m i n e s the inside w o r l d of the M e t r o p o l i t a n P o l i c e . A n outside police force investigates possible c o r r u p t i o n in the M e t in o r d e r t o t h r o w o u t the ' o d d b a d apple in a n otherwise s o u n d bar r e l '. A big fish is netted, b e c o m e s a n informant, a n d i n his n a m i n g a huge n u m b e r of c o r r u p t p o l i c e m e n it turns out that n o less t h a n ninety-five p e r cent of the C I D is c o r r u p t . A t this point t h e D i r e c t o r of P u b l i c P r o s e c u t i o n s a n d the A t t o r n e y G e n e r a l d e c i d e a t a g o l f i n g m a t c h t h a t e n o u g h is e n o u g h . T h e extetit of c o r r u p t i o n must not leak o u t t o t h e general public otherwise a c o m p l e t e b r e a k d o w n of law a n d order w o u l d ensue together with a bringing d o w n of the g o v e r n m e n t in office. T h e r e f o r e only a handful of p o l i c e m e n w o u l d be brought t o trial.

W h e t h e r the C I D is really as c o r r u p t (and c o r r u p t i n its higher echelons) as N e w m a n w o u l d suggest is of c o u r s e o p e n to debate. B u t m o r e i m p o r t a n t l y perhaps the play t h r o w s u p u n c o m f o r t a b l e questions about society itself.

Is society n o t h y p o c r i t i c a l i n d e m a n d i n g a police force that gives results a n d that is at the s a m e time free from c o r r u p t i o n w h e n society itself is c o r r u p t ? It is even possible that the police force is m o r e c o r r u p t t h a n other public tor o r g a n i z a t i o n s b e c a u s e the opportunity c o r r u p t i o n is s o m u c h greater.

T h e p l a y d o e s h a v e i t s f a u l t s b u t it i s nevertheless a tense, gripping a n d hard-hitting piece of narrative d r a m a that is well w o r t h

Toby Salaman, Nigel Terry and Colin McCormack im operation Operation Bad Apple.

The Forest by Alexander Ostrovsky in a new translation by Jeremy Brooks and Kitty Hunter Blair. Directed by Adrian Noble, the Royal Shakespeare Company at the Aldwych Theatre.

The highly a c c l a i m e d p r o d u c t i o n of The Forest r e t u r n s to the A l d w y c h T h e a t r e after sell-out s e a s o n s at t h e W a r e h o u s e a n d the O t h e r P l a c e (in Stratford). W r i t t e n i n 1871, The Forest is c o n s i d e r e d t o be o n e of O s t r o v s k y ' s masterpieces. A l t h o u g h virtually u n k n o w n i n this c o u n t r y O s t r o v s k y is a c k n o w l e d g e d as one of R u s s i a ' s leading playwrights a n d his plays (he wrote forty-eight) are still very m u c h a part of the R u s s i a n repertoire today.

Two impoverished wandering actors, a tragedia n a n da c o m e d i a n , meet at a c r o s s r o a d s in a forest. T h e y s t a n d b e n e a t h a signpost that points t o w a r d s 'the estate of M r s G o o r m i z k s k a y a ' . S h e is the tragedian's aunt, t h e e s t a t e t h e s c e n e of a l l h i s c h i l d h o o d m e m o r i e s . It is the e n c o u n t e r of these t w o lifeharded actors with the decorous a n d h y p o c r i t i c a l p r o v i n c i a l 'society' that provides m u c h of the c o m e d y a n d the m o r a l core of the play. T h e play's c h a r a c t e r s a r e a marvellous array of highly a m u s i n g , colourful a n d effusive individuals. T h e play reflects O s t r o v s k y ' s lifelong love of the theatre, his respect for actors a n d his u n d e r s t a n d i n g that w e all (and particularly the upper classes) get t r a p p e d to s o m e e x t e n t i n t h e roles i n w h i c h w e have c h o s e n t o cast ourselves.

T h e remaining p e r f o r m a n c e s of the play, w h i c h I r e c o m m e n d highly, r u n from F e b r u a r y 24 t o 17. S t a n d b y s are available.

Nick Bedding

gw4

b o o k s , five o u t of the twelve c o m m e n t a r i e s c o n t a i n plugs for his o w n stories.

T h e b o o k itself is fairly bo r i ng with far t o o many uninteresting and minor mysteries Arthur C. Clarke's Mysterious World by diluting the m o r e spectacular ones. "Strangest Simon Welfare and John Fairley, Fontana of all these (objects turning u p i n u n e x p e c t e d places) is u n d o u b t e d l y the c o l l e c t i o n of ancient £4.50, 320 pages.

C h i n e s e p o r c e l a i n seals found all over Ireland C l a r k e ' s name is printed in large letters o n the c o v e r of the b o o k , e v e n t h o u g h he's written in the late 18th a n d 19th c e n t u r i e s " . T r i v i a like that fill u p most of the b o o k , but there a r e o n l y a n i n t r o d u c t i o n a n d short c o m m e n t a r i e s after e a c h chapter. In the same way as i n the interesting chapters s u c h a s the one about the e x p l o s i o n in S i b e r i a in 1908. If they'd cut about television series, he's being used as a two h u n d r e d pages, the b o o k w o u l d have been (doubtless well paid) sales g i m m i c k t o p u s h a w o r t h reading, b u t i n it's present f o r m it isn't p r o d u c t m a d e b y s o m e o n e else. A n d C l a r k e w o r t h the price. hasn't lost an o p p o r t u n i t y t o advertise his o w n

Page 10

FELIX, February 19, 1982

W e d n e s d a y , F e b r u a r y 10 Football IC I IC II IC III IC V I

vs vs vs vs

LSE LSE LSE LSE

Rugby IC I

vs

St M a r y College

16-10(H

City & Guilds

4-0(H)

Hockey IC I vs

I II III IV

3-5(A) 5-0(A) 5-1 (A) 5-4(A)

S a t u r d a y , F e b r u a r y 13 Football IC I IC II IC I V Rugby IC I IC II

vs vs vs

QMC I Q M C II Q M C III

5-3(H) 5-()(H) 2-5(H)

vs vs

Sidcup Sidcup

24-3(A) 17-7(A)

St Bernards Hosp O l d Creightonians

0-3(H) 3-1 (A)

Hockey IC I vs IC II vs

_

Football Firsts Focus o n — D a v e D e a n N i c k n a m e — 007 H e i g h t — 5 feet (square) W e i g h t — w h a t for Residence — Brixton Occupation — rioter/student Married — ?

C h i l d r e n — n o t sure H o w m a n y — still n o t sure F a v o u r i t e likes — fame a n d groupies D i s l i k e s — lack o f l a m e , lack o f groupies, w a s h i n g the k i t .

W h o w o u l d y o u most like to meet? — K .

Barnett Biggest d r a g i n career — w i n d resistance H o b b i e s — c h i p butties, t r i p l e X a n d (...); not before matches

By A n d y P a g e , fellow t e a m m a t e , a d m i r e r , ex-friend.

P S : W e w o n 5-3; I h a d a septic (....). B r i a n b o u g h t a side s a l a d . F . B . R o l l a w i l l r e t u r n .

Firsts and Seconds A f t e r the games, w e a l l went to J i m Beers 21st. Steve V e a t s - B a i l e y spent the e v e n i n g flashing. D a v e G r i f f got smashed o n b i t t e r lemons a n d J o h n Burns looked very e m b a r r a s s e d (or was it the whiskey). I C A F C d r a n k G & T s ( w i t h o u t the T ) a n d e v e r y b o d y got b l i t z e d .

S e v e r a l a w a r d s were presented. T h e social g a f f e a w a r d goes t o R o n W i g g i n s w h o s h o u t e d " b u g g e r " i n the d r a w i n g r o o m . T h e social c l i m b e r a w a r d goes to M a i C a r r w h o d e c l a r e d " j o l l y nice s p r e a d , w h a t ! " to the hostess. Best dressed m a n — N i c k ' F l a n n e r s ' Flannagan. Most Hideous Tie —John ' B a r n e r s ' L a y . Best Q u a s i m o d o I m p r e s s i o n — G r a h a m R i c k a r d . Best ' D r u n k at a p a r t y ' Impression—Denis Saunders.

T h e offer o f the n i g h t went to P h i l N i c c o l l s a n d R o n W i g g i n s w h o asked t w o y o u n g ladies w h a t t h e i r interests were. " S e x , " c a m e the e x p l i c i t r e p l y . " T h a t ' s t h i r d o n m y list, after grouseb e a t i n g a n d d o m i n o e s , " said P h i l .

Sports Editorial J u s t a few dates for y o u r d i a r y : T u e s d a y , F e b r u a r y 23 — A C C M e e t i n g , 6 : 3 0 p m i n the U n i o n L o w e r Refectory. A l l c l u b captains to a t t e n d please.

W e d n e s d a y , F e b r u a r y 24 — R u g b y lsts are p l a y i n g i n the s e m i - f i n a l of the G u t t e r i d g e C u p . A l l supporters welcome, free transport p r o v i d e d (leave Beit A r c h , 1:00pm).

W e d n e s d a y , A p r i l 28 — Sports D a y , start t r a i n i n g now! W a t c h this space for further details.

Bowling

Rifle & Pistol A n estimated 30,000 attendance caused slight congestion i n the range today, a t t r a c t e d b y the l u r e o f I m p e r i a l ' s t o p m a r k s m e n i n a c t i o n . E a r l y excitement w a s p r o v i d e d b y the a r r i v a l o f the l o v e l y H e l e n , w h i c h p r o m p t e d Steve to d r o p a shot o r two. T h e excuse book soon a p p e a r e d as some l o w scores expressed c o n c e r n over T i m ' s moans ol ecstasy, the pressure w a v e so caused b e i n g thought to deflect bullets f r o m t h e i r theoretical trajectory. It is hoped that c l u b c a p t a i n D e n is S l e a t h (contact v i a M e c h E n g letter-racks) w i l l a p p e a r i n time to lead his team to W e d n e s d a y ' s a n n u a l d i n n e r .

ft

O n W e d n e s d a y F e b r u a r y 10 eight teams contested the annual C C U bowling c h a m p i o n s h i p . After a titanic struggle t h r o u g h o u t the day, the G u i l d s A team (alias C h e m E n g 2) o f A . M c M u l l a n d , W . M a n a n d N . G r i m w o o d h e l d o f a last g a s p challenge from M . S m i t h , B. T h o n g a n d K .

Short who made up the R C S A team, to take the shield for the t h i r d year r u n n i n g . In t h i r d place c a m e the R S M team o f R . C o o k . A .

D a v i s a n d D . L a m p , the first M i n e s team to compete for m a n y years (at least two).

E i g h t I C bowlers trooped oil'to P o r t s m o u t h Southern Univ Championships last S u n d a y to take part i n the P o m p e y Championship Eights Quads. T h e A team (Ray Cook, Chris Wells, T h e 1st V I I I heat O r i e l C o l l e g e , O x f o r d (last M a r t i n Harrison, W a i Man) bowled year's champions) w i t h ease i n their first d i s a p p o i n t i n g l y a l t h o u g h there were one or r o u n d , o n l y to lose n a r r o w l y to C l a r e two good i n d i v i d u a l games. T h e B team (Jeff C o l l e g e , C a m b r i d g e after a n a p p a l l i n g row Q u i n n , Dave Smith, A n d y Davis, K e v i n w h e n n o t h i n g went right for t h e m . C l a r e Short) performed m u c h better w i t h a l l four were beaten b y K i n g s C o l l e g e , L o n d o n b y b o w l i n g w e l l above average. D u e to the r a i l '/._> length in the final. A b i g d i s a p p o i n t m e n t strike the I C eight h a d to leave early before for the 1st V I I I , w h o were more t h a n c a p a b l e the final scores h a d been totalled so at the of w a l k i n g away w i t h the title. time of w r i t i n g it was not k n o w n w h o the C r e w : Bow J. Thorp, P. Allen, P. McKee overall winners were, but w i t h a total of 2336 S. Rockell, J . I Wry, G. Harding, M. Greaves, M. the B team must have been i n w i t h a n Alloway (stroke), I. Simpson (Co\). excellent chance. O n e result that we d i d find Second E i g h t s C h a m p i o n s h i p out was that D a v i s a n d S h ort took t h i r d placeT h e 2 n d V I I I w o n this c o m p e t i t i o n , w h i c h in the h a n d i c a p series o f the d o u b l e section, was almost exclusively entered b y U n i v e r s i t y but unfortunately for them they d i d not get 1st V I I I s l a c k i n g the confidence to go for the any trophies. c h a m p i o n s h i p title. T h e I C crew saw oil" Loughborough University a n d Pembroke C o l l e g e , O x f o r d o n their way to the final.

T h e y went d o w n a length just after the start against the other finalists, E x e t e r C o l l e g e , O x f o r d , b u t rowed t h r o u g h a slight lead, A f t e r some difficulty i n finding their o w n w h i c h changed hands twice more before the s a i l i n g c l u b , Essex d e m o n s t r a t e d t h e i r finish, w h e n I C went over the line r a t i n g 38. s u p e r i o r a l l r o u n d a b i l i t y b y b e a t i n g us a length a h e a d . T h e w i n n i n g m a r g i n w o u l d c o n v i n c i n g l y . T h e first race started w i t h p r o b a b l y have been greater h a d A l i s t a i r M i l l s a n d K e n n e d y o n the line at the g u n , R o w e been w e l l enough to take his place i n a n d some heated short t a c k i n g resulted i n the boat.

K e n n e d y g i v i n g a green to the o p p o s i t i o n .

C r e w : J. Goodall (bow), S. Collier, A. H o w e v e r , this form was not to last for l o n g McConnell, A. Clark, B. Sleen, C. Adams, J. a n d Essex were in a c o m m a n d i n g p o s i t i o n by O'Brien, K. Mendes (stroke), S. Agalawalle (cox). the first m a r k . The race was a foregoneconclusion w i t h Essex finishing 1, 2, 5 a n d I C 3, 4, 6.

A n epic start b y Bennet in the second racewas unfortunately to n o a v a i l a n d the c h o i c e of the wrongside o f the beat put h i m to the Last T h u r s d a y night saw o u r i n t r e p i d t e a m o f b a c k of t h e fleet. M i l l s a n d K e n n e d y , alcoholics a n d masochists go into a c t i o n however, i n hot pursuit r o u n d th e second a g a i n , this time against G u y ' s H o s p i t a l in a w i n d w a r d m a r k started to pi c k off the Iissex U L U League match. tail-enders, b u t left it too late a n d were robbed of v i c t o r y o n the finishing line.

T h e game started w e l l e n o u g h , d e s p i t e j i m Boucher's tendency to pass the b a l l d a i n t i l y Despite a n o t h e r excellent start i n the first to the o p p o s i t i o n , a n d three goals soon c a m e , race against U L I I , the t e a m c o u l d n ' t keep it from L e a c h , B o u c h e r a n d C a s i n i . H o w e v e r , up a n d h a v i n g been 1, 2, 6 at the first m a r k , the effort o f d r a g g i n g o u r beer guts a r o u n d had d r o p p e d to 1, 5, 6 b y the t h i r d a n d the pool then p r o v e d too m u c h , a n d we finished i n these positions. c o n c e d e d three goals due to lousy m a r k i n g In the second race M i l l s ' surprise tactics and bad covering. s u r p r i s e d e v e n h i m s e l f as h e c o l l i d e d In the last few minutes, B a r r y A s h w i n unintentionally with the opposition. scored, w h i c h p a r t l y m a d e u p for his e a r l i e r K e n n e d y m a n a g e d to get h i m s e l f i n v o l v e d i n f u m b l i n g , a n d then R i c h L e a c h p u t i n a n a mass pile u p at the t h i r d m a r k , hit it a n d impressive back H i p , h a v i n g d e c i d e d to miss had to r e - r o u n d . Bennet skilfully kept out o f a n easy goal w i t h his first shot a n d b o u n c e it trouble at the hack o f the lleet. U L I I thus oil' the post instead. c l i n c h e d v i c t o r y f i n i s h i n g 1,2, 3 w i t h I C 4, 5, 6.

T h e final result, 5-3, a d d e d a n o t h e r w i n to o u r unbeaten record i n the U L U L e a g u e , T e a m : Bennel. Dalton, Kennedy, Mills, a n d we celebrated w i t h the usual vast Redman, Tounghusband. q u a n t i t y o f Fosters.

P S : A n y o n e w i s h i n g to t r a v e l to H o l l a n d Team: Ashwin (capl), Boucher, Burnett w i t h the team d u r i n g the E a s t e r h o l i d a y s , (goalie), Casini, Dibden, Edwards, Carton, Last, must contact P . M i l l s , P h y s i c s 2 b y I,each.

W e d n e s d a y , F e b r u a r y 24.

H^t Rowing

Cricket "

C r i c k e t nets are still b e i n g h e l d at L o r d s .

H o w e v e r we n o w have access to o n l y o n e net—so players to a t t e n d by i n v i t a t i o n please W e ' v e seen qu i te a n u m b e r o f p r o m i s i n g players so f a r — a n y o n e w h o is interested but hasn't been to nets as yet s h o u l d contact S i m o n T e a r , G e o l o g y 2.

Several ladies a r e showing interest in f o r m i n g a w o m e n ' s cricket t e a m — a n y o n e keen o r w i l l i n g to play s h o u l d contact H e l e n a B r a m w e l l , L i f e S c i 1.

T h e c l u b d i n n e r w i l l be h e l d o n M a r c h 4.

T i c k e t s a v a i l a b l e from S i m o n T e a r or J o h n W h i t e , M a t h s 3.

ft Hockey Seconds H a v i n g a r r i v e d on the planet C r e i g h t o n i a , the twelve m a n mission from the I C federation left their transports to f i n d a region o f very little vegetation a n d hostile natives. I n o r d e r to subdue the p o p u l a t i o n s u b - l i e u t e n t a n t S h a r p e was despatched to m o u n t a o n e - m a n offensive o n the opposition's flank w h i c h resulted i n a c o n f r o n t a t i o n w i t h the n e u t r a l a r b i t r a t o r . A f t e r s t r u g g l i n g for sometime i n u n fa m i l i a r v i s c o u s s u r r o u n d i n g s , t h e federation finally broke through for c o m m a n d e r S t r o o m e r to r o u n d o f fa convincing attack. T h eCreightonian a r b i t r a t o r then h a d a b r a i n s t o r m o f galactic p r o p o r t i o n s , a w a r d i n g a p e n a l t y to his o w n side, o n l y to redeem h i m s e l f m i n u t e s later by zapping Sharpe with a yellow card!

S h a r p c r e t u r n e d from his l i v e m i n u t e s in hyperspace just i i i time to see crew member s W y l i e (from the N o r t h E a s t e r n q u a d r a n t ) a n d P i t h k e t l y c o m p l e t e th e rout w i t h w e l l taken chances. W h e n the ceasefire s o u n d e d , p r o t e s t s w e r e l o d g e d as t o t h e a l l e g e d n e u t r a l i t y o f the C r e i g h t o n i a n a r b i t r a t o r a n d S h i n d l e r c o m p l a i n e d that his shot h a d hit the crossbar because o f the n o n - a l i g n m e n t of the C r e i g h t o n i a n d i m e n s i o n w i t h his o w n .

H o w e v e r it was later p r o v e d that the goal was lop-sided!

M i s s i o n members: Commander A. Streamer, Custodian of the Goal C. Jones, Co-arbitrators P. (Cunningham, . V Farmer, Attack Section Leader G. H'vlie, Flank Raiders M. Taylor, B. Shindler, Aggravators P. Sharpe, S. Gray, Defence Sentinals J. Rhodes, C. Bird, Weapon Destruction M. Pithketly. r

Q Sailing

j&Water Pole

FELIX, February 19, 1982

Page 11

Election Publicity I w o u l d like to r e m i n d all election candidates that, as a n n o u n c e d in F E L I X 601, the last date o n w h i c h I will a c c e p t c o m p l e t e d posters or h a n d o u t s for p r i n t i n g will be M o n d a y , F e b r u a r y 22. A f t e r that financial penalties will be i m p o s e d a n d I c an n ot guarantee that they will be d o n e o n time, o r even at all.

Election Manifestoes P a p e r s for the sabbatical posters c o m e d o w n o n F r i d a y , F e b r u a r y 26.

M a n i f e s t o e s for inclusion in F E L I X must r e a c h m e personally at the office by 1:00pm o n M o n d a y , M a r c h 1 for i n c l u s i o n o n F r i d a y , M a r c h 5. T h e s e w i l l b e c u t at t h e t h r e e hundreth word.

If y o u w i s h to have a p h o t o a c c o m p a n y i n g y o u r manifesto it m u s t be a fairly large black and white print. T h i s (or any alternative r e p r e s e n t a t i o n of y o u r visage) must r e a c h me at the same time. C o l o u r pictures o r slides are absolutely n o use.

Elections for the posts will be by c a m p u s wide ballot o n M o n d a y a n d T u e s d a y , M a r c h 8 a n d 9.

ARE YOU

Freaks

contains a large n u m b e r of real life freaks, but these people c an n ot have seen t h e film. It is a fascinating a n d disturbing story set in a circus w h e r e the freaks e x a c t c r u e l revenge for being w r o n g e d . A l t h o u g h quite m a c a b r e , it is a sensitive a n d w o r t h w h i l e film. I r e c o m m e n d y o u to take advantage of this rare o p p o r t u n i t y to see s u c h a n interesting movie.

T h e film will be s h o w n at 7:30pm in E l e c E n g 408 o n M o n d a y evening.

I have received eight letters c o m p l a i n i n g about the fact that t h e H . G . W e l l s S o c i e t y will be s h o w i n g T o d d B r o w n i n g ' s Freaks o n M o n d a y evening. T h e y describe the film as s i c k a n d depraved.

It is true that the film w a s b a n n e d in this c o u n t r y f o r o v e r t h i r t y y e a r s a n d t h a t it

M a n y t h a n k s to N i c k T . , P e t e r , S o h e e l , Pallab, Steve, Eddie, Nick W . , Lesley, J e z , M o , If y o u a r e a n d w o u l d l i k e t o k n o w m o r e a b o u t R a m z i , all t h e collators, M a z a n d Ian. R o t a r a c t -then c o n t a c t M a r t i n B u r n e t t , A special m e n t i o n to Paul Bailey w h o Physics letteracks or N i c k Davey, Biology delivers F E L I X every week. W i t h o u t h i m y o u w o u l d probably not receive y o u r c o p y .

(W Wing) P G .

mmmmEi W h e n people c o m m e n t o n m y c o l u m n in F E L I X , they usually describe the p u z z l e s as 'mathematical'. B u t considering that nearly half of t h e students at I C are engineers, it seems only fair to occasionally steer away from the abstract w h i m s y of mathematical logic a n d venture into the real w o r l d Y o u are given four dominoes w h i c h are to be arranged in a pile overhanging the straight e d g e of a t a b l e . W h a t is t h e m a x i m u m h o r i z o n t a l o v e r h a n g y o u c a n achieve? T h e d o m i n o e s must all be h o r i z o n t a l with their long sides parallel to the edge of the table, a n d of c o u r s e , the whole thing must remain i n stable equilibrium.

T h e longest sides of a d o m i n o are t w o i n c h e s l o n g , s o w i t h y o u r s o l u t i o n please include b o t h a d i a g r a m a n d a clear statement of the o v e r h a n g it p r o d u c e s . I've n o idea what the m a x i m u m possible value is (although if y o u can't manage m o r e than t w o inches you're not really trying) so the prize will go to the best solution received by the c l o s i n g date.

Finally, as I said, this is a n engineering p r o b l e m a n d I r e c o m m e n d that y o u a p p r o a c h it experimentally using p a p e r b a c k b o o k s , or playing c a r d s o r even domin oes.

Credits

Solutions, comments, criticisms to me at the FELIX Office please. A prize of ÂŁ5 (donated by Mend-a-Bike) will be awarded to the largest valid overhang described by 1:00pm next Wednesday.

Last Week's Solution H , L , O , Q , T pure; M , N , P , R , S applied.

W r i t e ' L ' for 'statement made b y L is true' a n d ' L " for 'statement m a d e b y L is false'. T h e n we have: L: O: R: N: Q: M: T: P: S:

If H ' then ( M a n d N ' ) H if a n d only if ( P ' a n d Q ) ( P ' a n d R') if a n d only if M M or S S' or L ' or O ' M if a n d only if O If T then ( S ' a n d L ' a n d H ' ) ' O v e r half true O v e r half false

M ' implies O , a n d M implies O . S o O . N o w , c o n s i d e r i n g T ' s statement, the a s s u m p t i o n T ' i m p l i e s T ( s e e n o t e b e l o w ) w h i c h is a c o n t r a d i c t i o n . S o T is true. N o w assume S. S implies N , a n d since (from S ) at least six are false, only S , N , T , a n d O are true. B u t this implies Q . S o S is false after all, a n d so Q is true. N o w for L ' s statement t o be false, H must be false t o o ( s e e note a g a i n ) . B u t this c on tr adic ts T w h i c h we k n o w to be true. S o L is true. F r o m N ' s statement ( M a n d N ' ) must be false, s o H ' is false t o o , i.e. H is true. S o P ' a n d Q (from O ) . A n d to m a k e P false, both R a n d M must be false also.

wanting from

to meet people with similar

within

and outside

the

interests

College?

willing to help raise money for local and national charities as well as caring for people in this community. for an active social life, i.e. looking bi-monthly meetings plus sports events, barbecues, dinners, discos, etc., as well as more unusual pursuits.

T w e n t y entries, nine of them correct a n d A s h l e y K a n t e r , M a t h s 3 is the winner.

N e a r l y all the confusion arose from the possibility of 'if X then Y ' being false. T h e only way 'if X then Y ' c a n be false is for X to be true and Y false. A s a n example of this, consider the first 'if-then' clause ever formulated: 'if y o u taste the fruit of the tree y o u shall surely die'.

T h e only w a y y o u c a n give the lie t o this statement is by tasting the fruit and not dying.

Y o u cannot m a k e the statement false if y o u d o not taste the fruit. S o w h e n L e n said 'If the head is applied ' for his statement to be false, the h e a d would have to be applied.

O n e person criticised me for setting a p u z z l e w h i c h depended o n this principle, but I don't think I was unfair, particularly since I have explained it in detail before, albeit a long time ago ( N o v e m b e r 2 1 , 1980, to be exact).

Finally, another correspondent a s k e d for a return to 'the g o o d o l d days w h e n all y o u r p u z z l e s were of this type'. I thought y o u preferred a m o r e varied diet, but if y o u have strong feelings—write!

HYDE PARK

RELAY

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 27 Helpers needed throughout the day.

Free sweatshirts donated by N a t W e s t B a n k !

Party & Disco f o l l o w s t h e R e l a y at 6 : 3 0 p m i n t h e J C R .

A d m i s s i o n free t o p a r t i c i p a n t s a n d h e l p e r s 50p t o e v e r y o n e else.

FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (589-5111 ext 1048 int 2881) Copyright FELIX

1982. Editor:

M A Smith, Advertising

Manager: S M Giblin.

COLLEGE ACCOMMODATION Introduction

Applying as New Applicant

T h i s g u i d e is i n t e n d e d t o g i v e y o u a n i d e a o f w h a t t h e C o l l e g e h a s t o o f f e r in t h e w a y of a c c o m m o d a t i o n a n d of t h e regulations w h i c h c o n t r o l t h e w a y i n w h i c h t h e a c c o m m o d a t i o n is a l l o c a t e d . H o p e f u l l y , t h i s w i l l h e l p y o u t o c h o o s e the type of a c c o m m o d a t i o n w h i c h best suits y o u r p a r t i c u l a r r e q u i r e m e n t s a n d will s a v e y o u f r o m t h e e f f o r t o f m a k i n g applications w h i c h a r e unlikely to be successful.

It is t h e p o l i c y o f t h e S t u d e n t s ' R e s i d e n c e C o m m i t t e e t o a t t e m p t t o provide r e s i d e n c e places f o r all t h i r d year u n d e r g r a d u a t e s w h o h a v e n o t l i v e d i n R e s i d e n c e b e f o r e . It is a n t i c i p a t e d t h a t t h i s y e a r w e w i l l b e a b l e t o offer p l a c e s t o all t h i r d y e a r n e w a p p l i c a n t s , a n d a l s o t o a n u m b e r of second year n e w applicants.

T h e guide gives i n f o r m a t i o n a b o u t t h e t h r e e b a s i c t y p e s of C o l l e g e a c c o m m o d a t i o n . P u r p o s e built H a l l s of R e s i d e n c e w h i c h a r e all o n c a m p u s ; S t u d e n t H o u s e s w h i c h a r e large V i c t o r i a n h o u s e s c o n v e r t e d i n t o s t u d e n t a c c o m m o d a t i o n , m o s t of w h i c h a r e c o n c e n t r a t e d in E v e l y n G a r d e n s , about fifteen m i n u t e s w a l k f r o m t h e C o l l e g e ; a n d , H e a d Tenancies, which are not o w n e d by the College, but are leased from landlords a n d sub-let to students. T h e s e a r e situated in K e n s i n g t o n , Earls Court and Hammersmith.

T h e r e a s o n f o r h a v i n g a r e - a p p l i c a n t s y s t e m is t h a t it is t h o u g h t t h a t if there a r e a h a n d f u l of p e o p l e i n e a c h H a l l o r H o u s e w h o h a d t h e e x p e r i e n c e of living i n r e s i d e n c e a n d have s h o w n that they have a c o n t r i b u t i o n t o m a k e t o t h e life o f t h e c o m m u n i t y , t h e n t h i s w i l l m a k e a n y g i v e n H a l l o r H o u s e a h a p p i e r p l a c e t o liv e i n .

S i n c e t h e r e is n o t all that m u c h d i f f e r e n c e b e t w e e n i n d i v i d u a l H a l l s a n d b e t w e e n individual H o u s e s , the guide gives e m p h a s i s to the H e a d Tenancies, which tend to be m u c h more varied.

T h e s i g n i f i c a n c e of t h e s e r e g u l a t i o n s t o y o u r p e r s o n a l s t r at egy f o r g e t t i n g a p l a c e t o l i v e f o r n e x t y e a r lies i n t h e f a c t t h a t u n l e s s t h e c o m m i t t e e w h i c h d o e s t h e s e l e c t i o n k n o w s w h o y o u a r e , y o u r c h a n c e of s u c c e e d i n g in getting in as a re-applicant must be non-existant. S o , for e x a m p l e , if y o u a r e l i v i n g i n a s t u d e n t h o u s e t h i s y e a r , it w o u l d i n m o s t c a s e s b e a w a s t e of t i m e a p p l y i n g t o live n e x t y e a r i n H a l l .

A p p l i c a t i o n f o r m s f o r s t u d e n t s a l r e a d y at t h e C o l l e g e a n d for n e w p o s t g r a d u a t e s t u d e n t s , will b e available f r o m the S t u d e n t S e r v i c e s O f f i c e , 15 P r i n c e s G a r d e n s a n d s h o u l d b e c o m p l e t e d a n d r e t u r n e d b y F r i d a y , M a r c h 12.

Applications fro m postgraduate students w h o have not lived in R e s i d e n c e b e f o r e a s p o s t g r a d u a t e s a n d w h o a r e a p p l y i n g t o liv e i n H a l l s a n d H o u s e s s h o u l d b e r e t u r n e d b y F r i d a y , J u l y 16.

How College Accommodation is Allocated A. RESIDENCES Halls, Houses

Applying as a Re-applicant

A s it s a y s i n t h e r e g u l a t i o n s , r e - a p p l i c a n t s a r e c h o s e n b y a s u b c o m m i t t e e of e a c h H a l l a n d H o u s e C o m m i t t e e w h o s e m e m b e r s h a v e n o t applied for a further year in residence.

S i m i l a r i l y , a n y o n e w h o l i v e d i n r e s i d e n c e i n t h e i r f i r s t y e a r w o u l d f i n d it v e r y d i f f i c u l t t o g e t b a c k f o r t h e i r t h i r d y e a r if t h e y h a d l o s t c o n t a c t w i t h the people in that particular H a l l o r H o u s e in t h e intervening year.

Not

i how re-apps are selected.

T h e following extract f r o m the l College Student R e s i d e n c e Halls a n d H o u s e s R e g u l a t i o n s a n d I n f o r m a t i o n m a k e s it c r y s t a l c l e a r . N o t e particularly the u n d e r l i n e d bits.

4. A p p l i c a t i o n s f o r r e s i d e n c e f r o m s t u d e n t s will be c o n s i d e r e d in the following categories: a) F i r s t y e a r u n d e r g r a d u a t e s a r e a d m i t t e d to r e s i d e n c e o n the r e c o m m e n d a t i o n of t h e C o l l e g e d e p a r t m e n t s . T h e a l l o c a t i o n o f first y e a r p l a c e s a m o n g t h e H a l l s a n d H o u s e s a n d b e t w e e n d e p a r t m e n t s is regulated by the Students' Residence C o m m i t t e e . b) U n d e r g r a d u a t e n e w r e s i d e n t s will b e s e l e c t e d b y a r a n d o m method. c) U n d e r g r a d u a t e a n d postgraduate readmissions are selected b y a s u b - c o m m i t t e e of e a c h H a l l a n d H o u s e C o m m i t t e e w h o s e m e m b e r s have not applied for a further year in residence. d) P o s t g r a d u a t e n e w r e s i d e n t s a r e a d m i t t e d t o r e s i d e n c e o n the r e c o m m e n d a t i o n of the C o l l e g e d e p a r t m e n t s . J u n i o r R e s e a r c h A s s i s t a n t s * a r e a l s o eligible t o a p p l y w i t h i n this c a t e g o r y .

W a r d e n s all h a v e t h e p o w e r t o r e f u s e a n y a p p l i c a t i o n t o their H a l l o r H o u s e after d i s c u s s i o n w i t h the H a l l o r H o u s e C o m m i t t e e .

A c e r t a i n n u m b e r of p l a c e s will b e r e s e r v e d f o r m e d i c a l , welfare a n d c o m p a s s i o n a t e c a s e s a s r e c o m m e n d e d by the M e d i c a l O f f i c e r o r S t u dent C o u n s e l l o r in consultation with W a r d e n s . * M e m b e r s of Staff w h o , f o r a d m i n i s t r a t i v e r e a s o n s , r e c e i v e a net salary c o m p a r a b l e to a s t a n d a r d U K postgraduate student a w a r d .

5. T h e f o l l o w i n g p r i n c i p l e s s h a l l b e f o l l o w e d in c o n s i d e r i n g a p p l i c a t i o n s for residence: a) T h e n o r m a l p e r i o d of r e s i d e n c e i n H a l l o r H o u s e f o r s t u d e n t m e m b e r s shall b e o n e year. b) N o t m o r e t h a n 10 p e r c e n t m a y b e s e l e c t e d f o r a s e c o n d y e a r ' s r e s i d e n c e , b u t n o s u c h m e m b e r s m a y r e s i d e f o r m o r e t h a n t w o y e a r s in H a l l s o r H o u s e s e x c e p t a s p r o v i d e d in 5(d) b e l o w a n d S e l k i r k a n d Vickers' Scholars. c ) T h e p r o p o r t i o n of p o s t g r a d u a t e s in a n y H a l l o r H o u s e s h a l l b e a b o u t 15 p e r c e n t of t h e s t u d e n t m e m b e r s ; a n y I C u n d e r g r a d u a t e b e c o m i n g a p o s t g r a d u a t e will requalify f o r e n t r y . d) If a s t u d e n t , h a v i n g b e e n r e s i d e n t f o r t w o y e a r s , is e l e c t e d a n officer o f t h e U n i o n , as l i s t e d i n R e g u l a t i o n 2 a b o v e , he s h a l l b e p e r m i t t e d to r e s i d e f o r a t h i r d y e a r , b u t n o n e o t h e r t h a n t h e P r e s i d e n t , D e p u t y P r e s i d e n t a n d t h e S e c r e t a r y s h a l l b e p e r m i t t e d t o r e s i d e in H a l l s o r H o u s e s for more than three years. e) In a p p l y i n g R e g u l a t i o n s 5(b) a n d 5(d) a b o v e , s t u d e n t s w h o t a k e u p r e s i d e n c e d u r i n g the first h a l f - s e s s i o n shall be c o n s i d e r e d a s r e - a p p l i c a n t s f o r a n y f u r t h e r a p p l i c a t i o n s . S t u d e n t s t a k i n g u p resi d e n c e d u r i n g t h e s e c o n d h a l f - s e s s i o n will b e c o n s i d e r e d a s n e w appl i c a n t s for t h e f o l l o w i n g a p p l i c a t i o n .

Applying as a Postgraduate Application forms for postgraduate students w h o have not lived in Hall b e f o r e a s p o s t g r a d u a t e s a r e a v a i l a b l e f r o m F e b r u a r y 15 a n d m u s t b e r e t u r n e d b y F r i d a y , J u l y 16. A p p l i c a t i o n f o r m s f r o m p o s t g r a d u a t e s n e w to the C o l l e g e t o g e t h e r w i t h those f r o m n e w - a p p l i c a n t p o s t g r a d u a t e s a l r e a d y at C o l l e g e a r e f o r w a r d e d t o t h e p o s t g r a d u a t e a d m i s s i o n s t u t o r s in e a c h d e p a r t m e n t a n d t h e t u t o r s t h e n m a k e n o m i n a t i o n s f o r R e s i d e n c e places.

HEAD TENANCIES H e a d T e n a n c y applications are not affected by whether y o u have lived i n Residence before o r b y what year y o u are in. M o s t of the H e a d T e n a n c y a c c o m m o d a t i o n is i n t h e f o r m o f f l a t s o r d o u b l e r o o m s a n d t h e m a i n r e q u i r e m e n t f o r a p p l y i n g is t h a t y o u s h o u l d a p p l y w i t h o n e o r m o r e o t h e r s a n d that y o u will only b e c o n s i d e r e d for a c c o m m o d a t i o n suitable for t h e s i z e of t h e g r o u p . T h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t thing is t o c o n c e n t r a t e o n getting t o g e t h e r a g r o u p of i n d i v i d u a l s w h o will be reliable a n d w h o a r e l i k e l y t o b e a b l e t o liv e t o g e t h e r s u c c e s s f u l l y f o r a w h o l e s e s s i o n .

T h i s y e a r , f o r t h e first t i m e , w e w i l l b e o p e r a t i n g a s y s t e m w h i c h w i l l . e n a b l e n e w u n d e r g r a d u a t e s t u d e n t s t o liv e i n t h e H e a d T e n a n c i e s . N e w students w h o have b e e n n o m i n a t e d for R e s i d e n c e by their a d m i s s i o n s t u t o r s will b e a s k e d w h e t h e r t h e y w o u l d r a t h e r t a k e u p t h i s o p t i o n . T h e r e Applying as a New Undergraduate Student are n o plans at p r e s e n t to e n a b l e n e w p o s t g r a d u a t e s t u d e n t s t o live i n A p p l i c a t i o n forms are sent out to n e w undergraduate students b y the H e a d T e n a n c y flats, m a i n l y b e c a u s e t h e flats h a v e a h i g h p r o p o r t i o n of C o l l e g e R e g i s t r y o n c e a n offer of a d m i s s i o n t o the C o l l e g e has b e e n firmly s h a r e d r o o m s a n d m o s t p o s t g r a d u a t e s n e e d s i n g l e r o o m s . It is l i k e l y , or provisionally accepted. Undergraduate admissions tutors nominate a h o w e v e r , that n e w p o s t g r a d u a t e s will b e able t o t a k e u p single r o o m s i n certain n u m b e r of applicants to places i n Residence. T h e remainder are a d v i s e d t o a p p l y t o I n t e r c o l l e g i a t e H a l l s a n d , if u n s u c c e s s f u l , c a n a s k t o t h o s e H e a d T e n a n c i e s w h i c h h a v e t h e m , a s a r e s u l t o f s o m e s t u d e n t s w h o are offered the r o o m s in M a y , subsequently turning t he m down. b e p l a c e d o n t h e w a i t i n g list f o r I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e H a l l s a n d H o u s e s .

H A L L S O F RESIDENCE BEIT H A L L Warden: D r C . Halls T h i s consists of the ' O l d ' a n d ' N e w ' Hostels, both situated in the Beit Quadrangle, P r i n c e C o n s o r t R o a d , with a c c o m m o d a t i o n for 87 men and 28 w o m e n . E a c h residence has an individual study-bedroom fitted with a washbasin. T h e r e are shared kitchen facilities. T h e W a r d e n and two S u b W a r d e n s live o n the premises.

LINSTEAD HALL Warden: D r M . D . Carabine Linstead Hall, together with its extension, is located on the east side of Princes G a r d e n s and a c c o m m o d a t e s 164 men and 24 w o m e n in both single and double study-oedrooms. This particular Hall provides an evening meal on weekdays. E a c h set of rooms lias its o w n kitchenette.

Social and recreational areas are located on two gallery levels with the dining r o o m on the ground floor. T h e W a r d e n and two S u b - W a r d e n s live on the premises.

GARDEN HALL Warden: M r J . Turk G a r d e n Hall is situated on the north side of Princes G a r d e n s and p r o v i d e s r e s i d e n c e for 78 m e n in b o t h single a n d s h a r e d r o o m s .

C o m m u n a l facilities include a k i t c h e n , study r o o m , television r o o m and c o m m o n r o o m . T h e W a r d e n and S u b - W a r d e n live o n the premises.

S O U T H S I D E H A L L S , PRINCES G A R D E N S Wardens: Dr P.W. Jowitt, Falmouth Keogh; Dr M.H.R. H u t c h i n s o n , T i z a r d & Selkirk T h e s e three Halls a c c o m m o d a t e 380 men and w o m e n as follows: F a l m o u t h K e o g h Hall: 159 men and 31 w o m e n Selkirk Hall: 48 men and 24 w o m e n T i z a r d Hall: 94 men and 24 w o m e n E a c h resident has an individual study-bedroom fitted with a wash basin. O n the gallery floor of each Hall there is a c o m m u n a l area incorporating sitting-rooms, quiet r o o m , kitchen and laundry room.

S i t u a t e d below these Halls are College refectories a n d general common r o o m areas. T h e W a r d e n and S u b - W a r d e n s live on the premises.

D u r i n g the Easter a n d S u m m e r vacations the majority of the r o o m s in the L i n s t e a d and Southside Halls of Residence will not be available for letting to students, so residents may not be able to remain in their Halls d u r i n g these periods. H o w e v e r , alternative a c c o m m o d a t i o n will be available in Beit a n d W e e k s Halls and the Student H o u s e s .

WEEKS HALL Warden: D r D . M . Monro T h i s H a l l is situated in the north-east of P r i n c e s G a r d e n s a n d provides a c c o m m o d a t i o n for 50 m e n a n d 16 w o m e n . E a c h resident has an i n d i v i d u a l s t u d y - b e d r o o m fitted with a w a s h b a s i n a n d there is a kitchenette o n each floor. A large c o m m o n r o o m is provided on the g r o u n d floor. T h e W a r d e n a n d S u b - W a r d e n live o n the premises.

Montpelier Street Warden: Dr D M Monro T h i s Hall was p u r c h a s e d by the College for the start of the 1981/2 session. It is situated in the bosky back streets of Knightsbridge, s u r r o u n d e d by c o bbl e d mews and a stones throw from Harrods—the world's most famous corner shop!

T h e Hall houses 78 postgraduates in single rooms. T h e r e are also three double r o o m s for married postgraduate couples. It has excellent selfcatering facilities, c o m m o n r o o m , T V lounge a n d garden. One Sub W a r d e n lives o n the premises.

2

STUDENT HOUSES I h e s i x H o u s e s l i s t e d b e l o w a r e a l l s i t u a t e d w i t h i n f i f t e e n m i n u t e s w a l k of the C o l l e g e a n d t o g e t h e r p r o v i d e f u r n i s h e d a c c o m m o d a t i o n for 442 s t u d e n t s in s i n g l e a n d s h a r e d r o o m s . E a c h h o u s e h a s a t e l e v i s i o n a n d r e c r e a t i o n a l r o o m (the latter t y p i c a l l y i n c l u d i n g a dart b o a r d a n d table football). K i t c h e n facilities are p r o v i d e d t o g e t h e r w i t h w a s h i n g m a c h i n e s , d r y e r s a n d i r o n i n g f a c i l i t i e s . In a d d i t i o n , e a c h H o u s e t a k e s a s e l e c t i o n of daily n e w s p a p e r s .

BERNARD SUNLEY HOUSE 40 44 E v e l y n G a r d e n s 108 m e n

HOLBEIN HOUSE 61-63 E v e l y n G a r d e n s 66 m e n

MINING HOUSE 5 1 , 54-56 E v e l y n G a r d e n s 53 m e n a n d 26 w o m e n

SOUTHWELL HOUSE 58-60 E v e l y n G a r d e n s 45 m e n a n d 20 w o m e n

WILLIS J A C K S O N H O U S E 64, 6 6 - 6 9 E v e l y n G a r d e n s 64 m e n a n d 18 w o m e n

RAYLEIGH HOUSE 14 Q u e e n s b e r r y P l a c e 14 m e n a n d 6 w o m e n

Residents are provided with blankets and pillows.

C o o k i n g u t e n s i l s , c r o c k e r y , c u t l e r y a n d b e d l i n e n a r e not

provided.

R e s i d e n ts are e x p e c t e d to c l e a n their o w n r o o m s with the materials provided. C o m m u n a l areas (lounges, stairs, kitchens and bathrooms) are c l e a n e d d u r i n g t h e w e e k b y p a r t - t i m e staff.

Resident postgraduate W a r d e n s an d S u b - W a r d e n s are ultimately responsible for the organisation and discipline within a H o u s e , but, are advised o n s u c h m a t t e r s by a H o u s e C o m m i t t e e c o m p r i s i n g e l e c t e d m e m b e r s . H o w e v e r , m o s t of a H o u s e C o m m i t t e e ' s t i m e is s p e n t arranging social events and seeking ways to improve a H o u s e .

E v e l y n G a r d e n s a n d Q u e e n s b u r y P l a c e are l o c a t e d in a c o n t r o l l e d p a r k i n g a r e a . P a r k i n g p e r m i t s (£45pp p a o r £14 f o r 3 m o n t h s ) c a n b e o b t a i n e d f r o m t h e C o u n c i l if y o u s a t i s f y t h e n e c e s s a r y r e q u i r e m e n t s .

Flats and rooms in the Head Tenancy Scheme H a m l e t a n d C a m b r i d g e G a r d e n s , L e x h a m G a r d e n s , 6 Earls C o u r t S q u a r e , 21 Redcliffe Street, G e r r a r d M a n s i o n s a n d Sinclair G a r d e n s are all properties w h i c h have been rented by the College in order to provide an additional supply of guaranteed a c c o m m o d a t i o n .

T h e y are all places w h i c h , without the College's involvement, would either not be available as student a c c o m m o d a t i o n or would be let at m u c h higher rents than those w h i c h the College has been able to negotiate. F o r example, L e x h a m G a r d e n s w o u l d not be iet to students at all if the College hadn't taken them on and even the most expensive flats in L e x h a m G a r d e n s are a r o u n d ÂŁ5 per week per person cheaper than comparable private sector flats in the same area.

A n o t h e r advantage w h i c h the head tenancy flats have over places in the private sector is that they give y o u the opportunity to live close to other Imperial College students, so y o u don't have to feel that y o u are going home to an alien environment.

Nevertheless, head tenancies are essentially private sector places w h i c h the College has acquired wholesale, and so there are things w h i c h distinguish them from the College Residences. F o r example, the College has to pay rent o n its head tenancies during the short vacations and this cost has to be passed o n to the people living in the a c c o m m o d a t i o n — a l t h o u g h ' h o m e ' s t u d e n t s w h o s p e n d the v a c a t i o n s living in their a c c o m m o d a t i o n should be able to claim most of the rent back in the form of supplementary benefit. A n o t h e r point is that the College does not have the same degree of control over furnishings and maintenance as it does with its o w n residences. T h e role of the warden or student manager in the H e a d Tenancies is very different from the role of Hall or H o u s e W a r d e n s .

G e n e r a l l y s p e a k i n g , h o w e v e r , there is no r e s p e c t in w h i c h the C o l l e g e ' s h e a d t e n a n c i e s are w o r s e t h a n their p r i v a t e s e c t o r counterparts, and there are many respects in w h i c h they are m u c h better.

T h e head -tenancies provide a wide range of a c c o m m o d a t i o n , from single flats and bedsits to eight-bedded flats. T o help y o u decide which w o u l d suit y o u best, here is a brief resume of the various properties.

HAMLET & CAMBRIDGE

GARDENS

Hamlet G a r d e n s H a m l e t G a r d e n s is situated in H a m m e r s m i t h , a few minutes walk from R a v e n s c o u r t P a r k u n d e r g r o u n d station. A l l the a c c o m m o d a t i o n there is in the form of flats w h i c h range in size from three to eight-bedded units.

T h e r e are flats in H a m l e t G a r d e n s for groups of three, four, six or seven and eight totalling over 160 beds in all. T h e flats vary in their levels of decoration and furnishings but even if y o u end up in one of the less well equipped ones there is plenty of scope for re-arranging things so that you end up with a pleasant place to live.

O n e big advantage of living in Hamlet G a r d e n s is that the rents tend to be lower than in the head tenancies closer to College.

A l l the flats have their o w n lounge, b a t h r o o m and kitchen, and although most of t h e m only have shared bedrooms, several have single bedrooms as well.

Cambridge G a r d e n s C a m b r i d g e G a r d e n s consists of a house containing two flats, one for a group of four and one for six. It is situated close to L a d b r o k e G r o v e u n der gr ou nd station and within walking distance of N o t t i n g Hill.

4

LEXHAM GARDENS

SINCLAIR G A R D E N S

L e x h a m G a r d e n s lies between G l o u c e s t e r R o a d a n d Earls C o u r t , ten to fifteen minutes walk from College. T h e five houses there w h i c h c o m e under the L e x h a m G a r d e n s s c h e m e are numbers 25, 48, 54, 79 a n d 81.

N u m b e r s 48 and 54 consist mainly of double flatlets each with its o w n b a t h r o o m and kitchen area. T h e r e are also a couple of larger flats, s o m e single bedsits with their o w n c o o k i n g facilities and use of a shared b a t h r o o m , and a few self-contained single flats. N u m b e r s 25, 79 and 81 are divided into flats for three, four, five, six and eight. A s a rule they don't have a lounge although some have large kitchens w h i c h c a n be used as ' k i t c h e n diners'. A l s o , they are more expensive than the H a m l e t G a r d e n s flats. A t the same time the standard of decoration is m u c h higher than y o u w o u l d normally expect to find. T h e flats in 25, 79 and 81 are centrally heated whereas the ones in 48 and 54 are not.

Situated close to H o l l a n d R o a d and S h e p h e r d s B u s h underground station are two houses each containing a flat for eight and one for five.

T h e flats for eight are particularly attractive as they are on two floors and have a large lounge and two bathrooms. A l l the flats here are modernised to a high standard.

5

6 EARLS COURT SQUARE 6 Earls C o u r t Square T h i s house is situated in a quiet square, a stone's throw from the c o s m o p o l i t a n attractions of the Earls C o u r t R o a d and within easy walking distance of College.

T h e house is made up of fourteen single r o o m s and four doubles with a g o o d s i z e d c o m m u n a l lounge and a kitchen. M o s t of the r o o m s are centrally heated and the standards of decoration and furnishings are above average.

GERRARD MANSIONS G e r r a r d Mansions T h i s block contains five flats each comprising two single bedrooms, k i t c h e n / d i n e r and b a t h r o o m . T h e y were originally let unfurnished and have been furnished by the present tenants with varying degrees of success!

Situated in the heart of C h i n a t o w n , they are, to say the least, exotic. If y o u are considering applying for these flats y o u would be well advised to discuss the implications with the Student Services Officer.

... < tm

85 L E X H A M G A R D E N S 85 L e x h a m G a r d e n s T h e three flats in this little k n o w n corner of the H e a d Tenancies encapsulate an air of spaciousness and gracious c h a r m w h i c h is far r e m o v e d from the sometimes brash conversions to be encountered in the rest of L e x h a m G a r d e n s .

O n e of the flats would particularly suit a group of four which contains a couple.

6

21 REDCLIFFE STREET

T h e Redcliffe Street house has been set aside as a postgraduate house whereas other head tenancies c a n be applied to by both undergraduates and postgraduates. It is situated at the lower e n d of Earls C o u r t but still within walking distance of College. T h e house consists of single bedsits with a c o m m u n a l lounge and kitchen.

78 Princes G a t e Mews By far the trendiest flat on offer, it consists of two double bedrooms, lounge, k itc h en a n d b a t h r o o m . It also contains the most bijou attic single bedrooms that you are ever likely to see. T h e flat is suitable for four and comes under the supervision of one of the Southside W a r d e n s .

9 Princes G a r d e n s

COLLEGE FLATS College Flats A l t h o u g h these are distinct from H e a d Tenancies, they are let and managed in the same way as the H e a d T e n a n c y flats.

Southside, Penthouse Flats These two flats u s e d to be o c c u p i e d by wardens, and consequently, offer a very high standard of a c c o m m o d a t i o n . E a c h flat consists of two single bedrooms, one double, sitting r o o m , kitchen and bathroom. T h e flats are suitable for u p to four people. T h e rent is inclusive of heating, lighting and panoramic views of L o n d o n .

Property"^窶認lﾂ｣t^size

Robert P r y o r H o u s e , 53 Evelyn G a r d e n s This house, c o mpr i s i ng three flats for four, one for five and two for two i being reserved for new undergraduate students.

1 . 2

3

4

5

6

7

8

-

1

3

-

2

5

8

-

-

1

-

1

-

24

4

2

3

9

-

HAMLET GARDENS CAMBRIi3GE GARDENS

Situated next to G a r d e n H a l l , this house contains five flats for four, one for three and one for five. These flats are not available for letting F e b r u a r y / M a r c h as it is likely that they will be o c c u p i e d by new undergraduate students next session.

-

LfXHAM GARDENS

1

85 LEXHAM GARDENS

-

-

1

2

-

-

-

-

EARLS COURT SQUARE

14

4

-

-

-

-

-

REDCLIFFE ST (PG's ONLY)

11

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

SINCLAIR GARDENS

-

-

-

-

2

-

-

2

GERRARD MANSIONS

-

5

-

-

-

-

-

-

PENTHOUSE & MEWS

-

-

-

3

-

-

-

-

A b o v e is a tabulated summary ol the H e a d Tenancies showing the number of units of different sizes each has to ottci .11 present. It is likely that some of these will be dropped in the course of the current negotiations.

7

c

H O W T O APPLY Points to Remember Applications for flats will only be accepted from groups. This means that if y o u want to live in a flat or a double room/flatlet, you will need to apply as a group of two, three, four, five, six, seven or eight. If you apply on y o u r o w n , you can only be considered for a single room/bedsit.

If y o u are also applying to a Hall of Residence or to a Student House, y o u r application to the Hall or House will be withdrawn once you have been allocated to a place in a H e a d Tenancy.

You can only make one application to Head Tenancies.

This means that if, for example, you apply in a group, you cannot also m a k e a separate application on your own, nor can you make an application with another group.

G r o u p Applications 1. Y o u will need: one orange form for the whole group and a grey card for each member of the group—so a group of four would need one orange form and four grey cards.

2. T h e person whose name is at the top of the list on the orange form will receive all correspondence relating to the application. Thus the two sticky labels should be filled in, one giving that persons departmental address so that we can notify him/her of the outcome of the application at the beginning of the S u m m e r term. T h e other label should be addressed to his/her expected whereabouts in early September so that we c a n send any additional information that may be necessary.

3. L o o k through the table of H e a d Tenancies and see which ones have accommodation suitable for a group of your size. If there are more than one, place them in order of preference by writing " 1 , or 1, etc." in the appropriate spaces on the form. If there is only one, put " 1 " in the appropriate space.

4. Fill in the rest of the orange form.

5- E a c h member of the group must then complete a grey card.

6. R e t u r n the orange form together with A L L the grey cards to the Student Services Office by Friday, M a r c h 12, 1982.

Single Applications 1. Y o u will need one orange form, one grey c a r d and two address labels.

T h e labels should be completed as follows: one with your departmental a d d r e s s , one a d d r e s s e d to y o u r e x p e c t e d w h e r e a b o u t s in e a r l y September so that we can send any additional information that may then be necessary.

2. L e x h a m G a r de n s, Earls C o u r t Square and Redcliffe Street both have accommodation suitable for people applying on their own. The chart shows the number of places that each has. Indicate your preference by placing " 1 " or " 2 " in the appropriate places.

3. Return the completed form and c a r d to Student Services, 15 Princes G a r d e n s by Friday, M a r c h 12, 1982.

General Points 1. T h e way the allocation system w o r k s , the chances are that you will either get your first choice or nothing. T h e only exception to this is that if you apply for the Penthouse or M e w s flats and don't get in, then you will be considered for your highest subsequent choice .

2. If you are applying in a group, experience has shown that problems arise when smokers share with non-smokers. Please give this point careful consideration when choosing your group.

A l l students who accept accommodation in double rooms and flats will be j o i n t l y a n d s e v e r a l l y r e s p o n s i b l e for t h e w h o l e r e n t for their accommodation.

Halls and Houses Y o u need to fill in 2 address labels and the appropriate form and card.

There are different forms and cards to fill in depending on whether you are a new-applicant postgraduate, a new-applicant undergraduate or a reapplicant.

These are as follows: N e w applicant postgraduate: yellow form and card.

N e w applicant undergraduate: green form and card.

Re-applicant: blue form and card.

The address labels need to be completed as follows: O n e label addressed to yourself in your department so that we can tell you, at the beginning of the S u m m e r term, whether or not you have got a place.

O n e label addressed to yourself at wherever you will be in early/midSeptember so that, if your application is successful, we can tell you which r o o m you will be in.

W H A T Y O U WILL BE PAYING H e r e is a table of rents for this session. L i k e everything else, they will probably be higher for the next session, but at least it will give you an idea of what it costs per week.

Halls Beit £15.50-21.00 Southside & W e e k s £23.00 Linstead Singles £30.50 Linstead Doubles £24.50

H e a d Tenancies Hamlet/Cambridge Gardens Singles £17.50 Doubles £14.50

Student Houses and G a r d e n Hall Lexham Gardens Singles £20 £19.00-23.00 Singles £15.50 Doubles Doubles £18.50-19.50 Triples £11.50

Earls C o u r t Square Singles Doubles Recliffe Street Singles G e r r a r d Mansions Singles

Sinclair Gardens £19.00-22.50 £16.50-17.50 £17.00-18.50 £15.00-20.00

F r o m £19.00

College Flats F r o m £16.50 9 Princes G a r d e n s F r o m £16.50 Robert Pryor House £100 per week Penthouse Flats £80 per week M e w s Flat

Closing Dates for Your Diary F r i d a y , M a r c h 12, 1982: A L L u n d e r g r a d u a t e s a p p l i c a t i o n s , all applications to H e a d Tenancies and Student Flats (including Redcliffe Street) and all re-applicants: postgraduates and undergraduates.

Friday, July 16, 1982: Applications to R E S I D E N C E (i.e. Halls and Houses) from new applicant postgraduates.

ALL APPLICATIONS RECEIVED BEFORE T H E CLOSING DATE ARE GIVEN E Q U A L C O N SIDERATION. SO, D O N T RUSH. GIVE Y O U R S E L F TIME T O THINK A B O U T W H A T Y O U ARE G O I N G T O A P P L Y FOR A N D W H O Y O U A R E G O I N G T O A P P L Y WITH.

ALTERNATIVE A C C O M M O D A T I O N If you don't want to live in College A c c o m m o d a t i o n , or if your application is u n s u c c e s s f u l , y o u n e e d t o c o n s i d e r o t h e r w a y s of f i n d i n g accommodation.

Intercollegiate Halls M o s t of these Halls are situated in Bloomsbury which is conveniently placed for travel to College.

Intercollegiate Halls differ from Imperial College Halls in that they give y o u an opportunity to meet students from other Colleges and to mix with people who are not all scientists. A l l the Intercollegiate Halls provide full b o a r d (except for lunches M o n d a y to Friday).

Names and addresses of Halls Men Only C o m m o n w e a l t h Hall, Cartwright G a r d e n s , L o n d o n W C 1 H 9EB. (01) 387 0311.

Co n n au gh t H a l l , 41 Tavistock Square, L o n d o n W C 1 H 9 E E (01) 387 6181.

Women Only C a n t e r b u r y H a l l , Cartwright G a r d e n s , L o n d o n W C 1 H 9 E E . (01) 387 5526.

College H a l l , Malet Street, L o n d o n W C 1 E 7 H Z . (01) 636 8982.

Mixed Hughes Parry H a l l , Cartwright G a r d e n s , L o n d o n , W C 1 H 9 E F . (01) 387 1477.

International H a l l , B r u n s w i c k S q u a r e , L o n d o n , W C 1 N I A S . (01) 837 0746.

Postgraduates (mixed) Lillian Penson H a l l , Talbot Square, L o n d o n W 2 I T T . (01) 262-2081.

How to Apply A p p l y on one form to all those Halls for which you are eligible (on the basis of sex and postgraduate/undergraduate status). T h e application form can be obtained from any of the Halls and should be returned to the W a r d e n of the Hall which y o u would most like to live in.

Closing Dates Students already at the University: April 30, 1982.

N e w male students and mixed Halls: M a y 31, 1982.

N e w female students: M a y 15, 1982.

Private Sector Flats and Bedsits Addresses of places which y o u c a n book for next session should be available from Student Services during the S u m m e r term. M o s t of this kind of accommodation, however, is not advertised until September. If you want to know more about private sector housing come into Student Services and pick up a copy of our accommodation guide.

Hostels and Hotels There are a number of student hostels run by organisations other than the University. In addition, there is a variety of Hotels which give special reduced rates to students living there o n a long term basis. Lists of these are available from Student Services.