The Newspaper of Imperial College Union
Founded in 1949
UNION BUILDING TO CLOSE ? Southside bargain basement
Editorial T h e possible motives for agreeing to move the student union facilities to the Southside Halls basement are not immediately obvious to me. W e should all look very closely at these proposals and decide whether we are really getting a " g o o d d e a l " , as the College claims. A t a first impression I don't think we are, although we should all be willing to listen to arguments to the contrary. T h e immediate advantages are: firstly, the possibility of i n c r e a s e d s p a c e (with new facilities) a n d s e c o n d l y , improved use of the U n i o n by Southside residents. B u t the great danger is that we will end up exchanging the current U n i o n Building for a converted aircraft hanger (the main refectory) and a dinghy basement. W e would also be breaking links with the tradition of many years and the move would certainly result in great changes for those pieces of the U n i o n Building we retain (and possibly also alienate former U n i o n members). T h e r e a r e s e v e r a l q u e s t i o n s w h i c h r e m a i n to be answered. H o w c a n we be certain that the facilities in Southside would be an improvement o n what we have already? W h y is the College willing to spend such large amounts of money to move us? H o w will the U n i o n Building be used a n d c o u l d these things be done elsewhere? U n t i l all these points and many others can be cleared up completely it is perhaps unwise to discard the idea out of h a n d . B u t I f e e l that we s h o u l d t r e a d v e r y c a r e f u l l y , especially considering the I C U President N i c k M o r t o n thinks it is " a c r a c k i n g good idea" and may well continue with these plans without telling us. S o far he has taken the staggering attitude of " N a n n y knows best'' and has discussed these proposals without any r e f e r e n c e to student o p i n i o n . N o w that the plans are known, we should be given all the details and be allowed to make the decision for ourselves.
Above: the current plan for the ground floor of Southside which now contains the empty main refectory which was described by Mr Mooney as "an aircraft hanger". The staircase by the main entrance would have
Tfo616
offered b y College A surprise plan to move the Student Union the Southside Halls of Residence was President Mr Nick Morton last Friday. The abandoning the current Union Building for and could cost in excess of ÂŁ250,000.
to the basement of revealed b y ICU plan would involve use by the College
C o l l e g e Secretary M r J o h n S m i t h suggested the idea to the President i n M a r c h a n d it was o n l y last week tht the first plans were c o m p l e t e d by the Estates D e p a r t m e n t . F o r this reason M r M o r t o n d e c i d e d not to i n f o r m I C U C o u n c i l u n t i l M o n d a y or i n c l u d e the plans i n E x e c N e w s for last T u e s d a y ' s A G M . T h e proposals are, at present, i n the very early stages of p r e p a r a t i o n a n d w o u l d need to be generally a p p r o v e d before a n y large a m o u n t of money was c o m m i t t e d to further i n v e s t i g a t i o n . J o h n S m i t h t o l d F E L I X that there was no i n t e n t i o n of " p u l l i n g o f f a c o u p " a n d that the idea h a d o n l y been revealed to assess the level of support. M r S m i t h c o m m e n t e d that he h a d been c o n c e r n e d w i t h the lack of use of the lower three levels of S o u t h s i d e , following the closure of most of the R e f e c t o r y facilities there. T h i s , he said, h a d p r o m p t e d the i d e a of m a k i n g Southside a " f o c a l point of student a c t i v i t y " . B y m o v i n g the U n i o n to the Southside basement there w o u l d be w h a t he c a l l e d " t h e a d d e d a d v a n t a g e " of h a v i n g space a v a i l a b l e i n Beit Q u a d . M r S m i t h suggested three possible uses for the c u r r e n t U n i o n b u i l d i n g . F i r s t l y the top floor c o u l d be easily c o n v e r t e d for e x t r a student a c c o m m o d a t i o n . S e c o n d l y he a d m i t t e d that the C o l l e g e has been u n d e r pressure f r o m the L i f e Sciences D i v i s i o n to e x p a n d their facilities. T h e U n i v e r s i t y G r a n t s C o m m i t t e e ( U G C ) have also instructed the C o l l e g e to increase the L i f e Sciences i n t a k e a n d this Continued on page 3.
to hue removed for the club area (left) and the refectory and kitchens partitioned for the sports facilities (right). The other main floor is shown on page 3.
Friday, May 281982
Free!
Dear
Mark
A s usual, there are a w h o l e b u n c h of points i n the last issue of F E L I X w h i c h deserve c o m m e n t , but the pompous r a m b l i n g s of that selfo p i n i o n a t e d ass M o r t o n really c l i n c h it. H e obviously a p p r e c i a t e s t h a t i n f o r m a t i o n is p o w e r , a n d a p p e a r s to be c l i n g i n g t i g h t l y to b o t h come on D a d d y Nicholas, what is M o r t o n ' s M y s t e r y ? W i t h his total lack of action, and his neglecting to i n f o r m us of plans to close the U n i o n refectory a n d waste more money on the L o w e r L o u n g e , it's h a r d l y s u r p r i s i n g there's such disinterest i n the U n i o n . T h e r e is precious little to be interested i n . O u r illustrious President's report is chock-a-block w i t h the wonderful things he has done for us. I w o u l d just like to a d d that the h i g h - s o u n d i n g threeway negotiation over the games machines involved a single phone-call, when I c a r r i e d out the same task for T i z a r d H a l l two years ago. O f course it's quite possible that the U n i o n bureaucracy c o u l d make this twice as c o m p l i cated as necessary, as they do w i t h the c l u b t r a n s p o r t subsidies. I ' m g l a d to hear M a r c o had such a lovely time i n S w e d e n , and of course a n i n t e r n a t i o n a l v i e w p o i n t a n d perspective is i m p o r t a n t a n d u s e f u l to everyone. U n f o r t u n a t e l y , if the rest of us only get to learn that there were discussions on " t e c h n i c a l development w i t h specific reference to...the effects on society both positive and n e g a t i v e " , perhaps the Page
2
£ 2 0 0 was not w e l l - s p e n t . Some specific i n f o r m a t i o n w o u l d be a better justification for the trip t h a n the news that M a r c o m a d e a l o a d of pals and d i d n ' t want to come back to L o n d o n . F i n a l l y , I appreciate that w i t h the p e r i l of exams a p p r o a c h i n g , first years are i n c l i n ed to let their minds w a n d e r to the m e a n i n g o f l i l e , as t h e i r past experiences Hash before their eyes. Next time some b o r i n g m u d d l e d bttrk like T i m L a r c o m b e writes a logically incoherent soapbox article, I w o u l d neverthless be grateful if you w o u l d just Hush it d o w n t h e a p p r o p r i a t e receptacle. T h a n k s lor a year's interesti n g reading. ] 'ours
Jell' F o w l e r
Dear
Mark
I was fascinated by y o u r insight into N i c k M o r t o n ' s depth of knowledge of student opinions expressed in y o u r e d i t o r i a l last week. Y o u omitted to m e n t i o n his escapades i n v o l v i n g residence. H e h i m s e l f a d m i t s ( i n his a n n u a l report) that he has made himself u n p o p u l a r on this subject, a comment w h i c h is more true than m a n y that he has made. O u r illustrious President's major folly in this area has been the affair of the linen service. H e started out w i t h a supposedly wonderful i d e a t h a t he c o u l d save students a lot of money by s c r a p p i n g this useful feature of H a l l life. H e commissioned a costing of it, w h i c h i n d i cated that students pay about £1 per week to have their sheets a n d pillowcases washed, ironed a n d delivered to their r o o m . A h a ! H e c o u l d save a l l the poor students about £ 3 0 per year! But what c o u l d one r e p l a c e the s e r v i ce w i t h ? Another M o r t o n brainstorm occurs (not unlike a thunderstorm only m u c h more d a n gerous) — a ' c e n t r a l ' l a u n d r y facility c o u l d be introduced in the basement ol G a r d e n H a l l , equipped w i t h the machines from a l l the H a l l s ' laundries. N o w G a r d e n H a l l has many fewer residents than either Southside or L i n s t e a d , so I c a n only conclude that this is a new use of the w o r d 'central'
that I h a d not previously been aware of. T h e last I heard, there had been no costing of the new l a u n d r y , w h i c h w i l l certainly be v e r y e x p e n s i v e , o r a n y i n d i c a t i o n of w h e r e the c a p i t a l w i l l come from. W h e n asked about p a y m e n t ol r u n n i n g costs ( c u r r e n t l y subsidised from H a l l funds), N ick "proposed c h a r g i n g ' ' s e m i - c o m m e r c i a l " rates, " s a v 50p per w a s h " instead ol 2()p. O n e should also note that if students have to wash sheets as w e l l , it is likely to take two loads coasting £\; the savings to students are b e g i n n i n g to d i m i n i s h . O t h e r supposed advantages of the proposed scheme include the way that Southside and L i n s t e a d residents w i l l have to walk across the gardens to do their washing and that there w i l l be no security, so people w i l l have to sit a n d w a t c h their washing, rather t h a n r e t u r n i n g to their rooms to work, etc. M o r t o n ' s folly must have other points to c o m m e n d it, like the subtle a r o m a w h i c h w i l l come from rooms ol students w ho can't be b o t h ered to wash their sheets, and of course the m i n i m a l amount ol each student's money easily outweighs the extra i n c o n venience a n d time wasted; doesn't it? T h e w i t h d r a w a l of the linen service is apparently dependent u p o n the provision of the new l a u n d r y ; however, k n o w i n g h o w fast E s t a t e s work, I very m u c h doubt that this c o u l d be achieved before the end of September. T h e most interesting aspect of the whole affair is N i c k ' s concern about student o p i n i o n s . H e was t o t a l l y n o n plussed by a petition from nearly a third of the residents of Southside asking for the present service to be retained, because M o r t o n knows better than the students he purports to serve. Jeremy Nunns Dear
Mark
W e note that from F E L I X G15 that certain sexual frustrations have become a p p a r ent in Weeks H a l l . W e also note with pleasure that you have reported the speed w i t h w h i c h the U n i o n is rectifying this situation by provision of
FELIX, May 28,
1982
b r o t h e l f a c i l i t i e s in the Southside B a r . T h e U n i o n has been actively investigating sex in this College. Indeed, the H o n o r ary Secretary has only recently returned from a highly successful fact-finding tour of Sweden. T h e success of his research is clearly demonstrated by his complete lack of energy since a r r i v i n g back in E n g l a n d . W c w i l l p r o b a b l y ask P W P lo carry out a further in-depth analysis ol the affair before we dis ban d them (bilaterally!). C l e a r l y , we must act q u i c k l y to eradicate sexual deviancy amongst I C students. This reached new heights when activities i n v o l v i n g three postgraduates, a b u n k - b e d and an oversized micrometer led to the collapse of a floor at 14 M o n t p e l i e r Street. F i n a l l y , there is no truth in the r u m o u r t h a t a s p e c i a l S p o r t s D a y m e d a l w i l l be a w a r d e d for sexual prowess at the A G M to J . M a r t i n T a y l o r (or was it M a r t i n S. T a y l o r ? ) . Bilaterally
yours
N i c k and C h r i s t i n e P S : W e are not against sex in principle.
Sir
It is w i t h increasing dismay that I read in your columns the thoughts of those who seem to belittle the c o n t r i b u tion to College life made by t h a t most e m i n e n t a m o n g your corrcspondents, Dr F r a n k James. T h e y surely cannot realise that D r J a m e s ' writings are those of the most consistently perceptive and informed persons currently in College. In my first year D r J a m e s got the new term off to a splendid start by describing in F E L I X those i n v o l v e d in constituent college unions as " l a t e n t homosexual beerswilling louts", a criticism that was at the time w h o l l y justified, and w h i c h has since h a d a c o n s i d e r a b l e effect. T h i s is the m a n that we are really here considering, one who is genuinely more concerned for the welfare of his chosen College t h a n his o w n p o p u l a r i t y or s a b b a t i c a l credibility. In the same year D r J a m e s , i n his indisputed r o l e as t h e c l o s e s t t h i n g Continued on pa«e 4.
The Southside Plan ut i
1
T message i" • J
JI
1 Above: the proposed look of the level, above the Southside Bar.
Continued from front page. w o u l d necessitate a n e x p a n s i o n of first year l a b o r a t o r y facilities. F i n a l l y , a n d perhaps most s i g n i f i c a n t l y , he feels that there is a p r o b a b l e use ol some areas as a "post experience c e n t r e ' ' . T h i s facility w o u l d consist of a n u m b e r of s m a l l conference r o o m s ( a n d fairly l u x u r i o u s a c c o m m o d a t i o n ) w h i c h w o u l d be h i r e d out to s e n i o r m a n a g e r s i n i n d u s t r y a t t e n d i n g short courses to i m p r o v e t h e i r k n o w l e d g e a n d use of m o d e r n technology. M r S m i t h assured F E L I X that the present U n i o n B a r a n d L o w e r L o u n g e w o u l d r e m a i n as student areas ( a n d perhaps even some other parts of the b u i l d i n g ) . W h e n asked about possible sources of finance i n the face of the c u r r e n t e c o n o m i ^ s i t u a t i o n he felt that a n o p t i m i s t i c
Sick Bay takes students to the cleaners I C U C o u n c i l m a n d a t e d future U n i o n E x e c u t i v e s to "discuss f u r t h e r o n the proposed m o v e to .Southside a n d report h a c k " (to C o u n c i l ) at a m e e t i n g last M o n d a y . A l t h o u g h the m a j o r i t y of C o u n c i l d i d not share N i c k M o r t o n ' s e n t h u s i a s m lor the proposed m o v e (see front page), they requested more d e t a i l e d proposals before m a k i n g a final decision. S i m i l a r motions were also passed o n the future financing of the H e a l t h C e n t r e s i c k b ay a n d a c e n t r a l l a u n d r y f a c i l i t y a v a i l a b l e to a l l students. H o w e v e r , it was p o i n t e d out that i n the event of I C students h a v i n g to m a k e a c o m p u l s o r y £\0 p a y m e n t for the s i c k b a y , R o y a l C o l l e g e of M u s i c students, w h o also use the s i c k b a y , w o u l d be r e q u i r e d to pay also. T h e m e e t i n g a p p r o v e d the c o n v e r s i o n of the U n i o n L o w e r L o u n g e into a refectory-type area w i t h b a r a n d the c o n v e r s i o n s h o u l d be. c o m p l e t e d d u r i n g the s u m m e r . M o s t of the w o r k w i l l be financed by C o l l e g e a l t h o u g h the U n i o n w i l l have to pay for the m o d i f i c a t i o n of the c u r r e n t k i t c h e n to the E n t s R o o m . M i s s C h r i s t i n e T e l l e r was also ratified as a c t i n g D e p u t y President a n d the a d d i t i o n of her n a m e to the D P H o n o u r s B o a r d a n d Pot authorised. T h e m e e t i n g r e m a i n e d q u o r a t e u n t i l it was closed, thus a l l o w i n g matters from as l o n g ago as 1980 lo be noted.
3-2-1
Quorum! Q u o r u m was successfully c h a l l e n g e d i m m e d i a t e l y a l t e r the Union Annual General Meeting opened last T u e s d a y . H o w e v e r the c r o w d of over 100 r e m a i n e d to see President N i c k Morton award U n i o n General A w a r d s . These are the highest a w a r d s the U n i o n c a n m a k e a n d are g i v e n at the d i s c r e t i o n of the President. U G A s were presented
to M r A r t h u r L o v c d a y (who is r e t i r i n g as g r o u n d s m a n at the H a r l i n g t o n sports g r o u n d after t w e n t y years service), L a w r e n c e Windley, Marco Ledwold, Mark Smith, Christine Teller and Nick Nfprton. Social and Athletic Colours were also a w a r d e d alter a p p r o v a l hv I C C o u n c i l .
a p p r o a c h was needed a n d thought that il the idea was g i v e n a p p r o v a l the C o l l e g e c o u l d find the m o n e y necessary. T h e m o v e w o u l d take place over a two year p e r i o d b e g i n n i n g in. J u l y 1983 at the earliest, a n d w o u l d hence need to be i n c l u d e d i n the C o l l e g e budget for 1 9 8 3 / 4 . T h i s w o u l d m e a n that the student u n i o n w o u l d have to show c o n s i d e r a b l e interest before next O c t o b e r a n d l w o u l d n e e d to a p p r o v e m o r e d e t a i l e d p l a n s by J a n u a r y 1983. M o n d a y ' s I C U C o u n c i l i n s t r u c t e d the E x e c u t i v e to investigate the m a t t e r f u r t h e r a n d the s u m m e r mon ths w i l l u n d o u b t a b l y prove v i t a l as further details emerge. It seems l i k e l y that a C o l l e g e - w i d e ballot m a y be c a l l e d for as a measure ol" a p p r o v a l .
More rent increases T h e f o l l o w i n g r e c o m m e n d a t i o n s for next year's rent levels w i l l be put to the R e c t o r from S t u d e n t Residence
Committee.
Rooms Currently Weekly Rent Proposed rent for 1982/3 £24.00 (4.3%) £23.00 Singles in Weeks, Linstead, Southside 23.00 2 3 . 0 0 (0%) Singles in Montpelier 2 2 . 0 0 (4.8%) 21.00 Singles in New Beit 2 0 . 8 0 (4.0%) Singles in O l d Beit, Garden, Evelyn Gdns 2 0 . 0 0 17.50 (2.9%) Doubles in Linstead 17.00 17.50 (0%) Doubles in Montpelier 17.50 16.00 (3.2%) Doubles in Beit. Garden, Evelyn Gdns 15.50 12.00 (4.3%) Triples in Garden, Evelyn Gdns 11.50 T h e f o l l o w i n g points s h o u l d be noted: 1. £13,000 e x p e n d i t u r e on b u i l d i n g i n s u r a n c e has been transferred f r o m the C o l l e g e c e n t r a l a c c o u n t to the S t u d e n t R e s i d e n c e A c c o u n t . 2. R e d e c o r a t i o n a n d r e f u r n i s h m e n t p r o g r a m m e s h a v e b e e n reinstated after severe cutbacks due to financial p r o b l e m s this year. 3. T h e W a r d e n s e n t e r t a i n m e n t s a l l o w a n c e is to be reinstated. 4. A l l o w i n g for e x t r a e x p e n d i t u r e in points 1-3, the increase in rents for 1 9 8 2 / 3 has been held to a reasonable level. T h i s has been possible thanks to savings on the l i n e n service a n d h e a t i n g a n d p r o b a b l e stabilisatio n of interest rates. A few other matters of interest were discussed at S t u d e n t s Residence Committee: A . A l t h o u g h S R C w i l l c o n t i n u e w i t h its o w n plans to u p g r a d e l a u n d r y facilities in H a l l s a n d Houses, the C o l l e g e c e n t r a l l y is l o o k i n g into the p r o v i s i o n of a c e n t r a l c o m m u n a l l a u n d r y l o r a l l . T h e U n i o n President w i l l pursue this matter. B. A v o l u n t a r y l i n e n hire scheme w i l l be r u n i n the H a l l s a n d Houses next year. F o u r sheets a n d four pillowcases m a y be h i r e d by students at a rate of £A per a n n u m w i t h a £\0 deposit. C . T h e residents of M o n t p e l i e r Street are to he g i v e n a rebate of one week's rent for i n c o n v e n i e n c e caused by w o r k o n the d r y rot. T h i s w o r k m a y c o n t i n u e u n t i l m i d - A u g u s t a n d i n c l u d e s e x p l o r a t o r y w o r k to check other t i m b e r s are not infected. T h e p l a n n e d p r o g r a m m e of w o r k has been agreed w i t h the residents themselves. D . R e n t s for H e a d Tenancies for 1 9 8 2 / 3 have not been finally negotiated w i t h the l a n d l o r d s . E . N e g o t i a t i o n s for a new H e a d T e n a n c y w i t h 140 places are i n progress at present. F . D r D o n M o n r o is r e t i r i n g a n d is not to be r e p l a c e d . H e w i l l r e m a i n C h a i r m a n of the Students R e s i d e n c e C o m m i t t e e lor 1 9 8 2 / 3 . Mick Morton
FELIX, May 28,
1982
Page
3
j a r i v a t e . If you a n d your various hirsute cronies w o u l d refrain from p u r s u i n g these self-same activities i n p u b l i c it w o u l d leave both y o u r hands free to c o l l e c t i n t e r e s t i n g m a t e r i a l to supplement the banal trivia F E L I X normally contains. 1 ours etc
Andrew Lyall
Dear
Mark
Perusing through F E L I X last week I i n a d v e r t e n t l y stumbled across a piece of moronic diatribe by somebody called R . S . A l e x a n d e r . N o w , while I don't want to r u i n the poor chap's wonderful article on the F a l k l a n d ' s Crisis, I should just like to point out to h i m a few home truths.
Firstly the F a l k l a n d s are B r i t i s h . Does he know what Dear Mark that means? It means that It is far too easy for o l d they are of the same blood as windbags like R . S . A l e x a n d e r thee a n d me (and presumably a n d M . Foot to rant and rave him). D i d his blood not boil about the cost involved in w h e n he heard that a few l a u n c h i n g the T a s k Force a n d thousand uniformed G a u c h o s h o w else the money might had stomped rudely into their have been spent. B u t the life, their thoroughly British argument i n this issue is m o r a l life, a n d had ordered them to a n d not m o n e t a r i s t . I f we get out or act like a n A r g e n w e r e , as R . S . A l e x a n d e r tinian? A blatant attempt had s u g g e s t s , to r e w a r d the been made by the " p a w n s in A r g e n t i n i a n a g g r e s s i o n by the p o w e r s t r a t e g y of a h a n d i n g over the Islands c o n t e m p t i b l e fascist r e g i m e " w i t h o u t a light then where (as he put it) to totally convert w i l l it e n d ? W h e r e n e x t : the lifestyle of the h a r d y G i b r a l t a r ? Belize. islanders on this anachronistic T h e rest of the w o r l d is r e m n a n t of bygone B r i t i s h l o o k i n g to B r i t a i n to set an i m p e r i a l i s m — both phrases example a n d put the aggresstraight from his w e l l - w o r n sor f i r m l y in his place. c o p y o f the " L i t t l e Boys A l r i g h t , maybe the Islands Bedside Book of Bennisms for are one of the last embarrassing outposts of E m p i r e hid B e g i n n e r s " no doubt. Secondly our government remember this, these people are not wasting exaggerated are British citizens a n d we sums of money on this venture. cannot a n d must not desert T h e r e happens to be a cont h e m i n their h o u r of need. siderable amount of what is R . S . A l e x a n d e r points out the junta's record on h u m a n called " c o n t i n g e n c y m o n e y " rights—surely this is reason availabl e w h i c h was set aside enough for going to the a i d of lor just this purpose donkey's o u r people? years ago. i
Continued from page 2.
I m p e r i a l has got to a n arts student, a g a i n l a i d his r e p u t a t i o n on the l i n e lor the U n i v e r s i t y C h a l l e n g e team. It is' t o be r e g r e t t e d t h a t c l o n i n g was not then w i d e l y a v a i l a b l e l o r we w o u l d have been assured of victory. It is true that i n his time at I m p e r i a l D r J a m e s has rested uneasily on a number of p o l i t i c a l water lillics, but he has never been slow to leap w h e n he fell that his many talents c o u l d liest be employed elsewhere. W h a t c o u l d motivate me to w r i t e so unashamedly of the virtues ol D r James? C e r t a i n l y we once took sherry on the beach at St L u c a r de B a r r a meidos together, but is is not out of mere personal friendship that I write. N o , since that t i m e the p a t h of a h u m b l e engineering student has not included that most excellent ivory tower that is the D e p a r t m e n t ol H i s t o r y of Science and Technology. S u r e l y this is the key to the great e n i g m a that surrounds D r J a m e s , that whilst engineering students mav come a n d go the s p i r i t a n d t h e person ol D r F r a n k James continue to grace our most honoured college. ) ours
faithfully
N a m e s u p p l i e d , but w i t h h e l d o n request. Dear Sir
W i t h r e f e r e n c e to last week's front page article c o n c e r n i n g certain activities that Weeks H a l l residents w i l l no longer be able to pursue i n
Page 4
T h e r e is n o c o m p a r i s o n between our m i l i t a r y action a n d that of A r g e n t i n a . W e are a c t i n g i n self-defence a n d we have the b a c k i n g of the U N , the E E C a n d the U S A . H o w e v e r , since a l l the d i p l o m a t i c efforts have failed it is inevitable that lives w i l l be lost. But then that's war. W h e n the l i g h t i n g rcallys starts there w i l l be no room lor the Bennitcs a m o n g us telling us not to kill the Argies because they certainly won't be s h o w i n g us any mercy. Y o u don't like the sound of it, do you M r Alexander? W e l l , if you don't like being British then why don't you bugger oil to A r g e n t i n a a n d join L e o p o l d in his bunker? Perhaps then v o u ' l l realise that he's not the nice guy you thought he was. Tours
patriotically
Duncan Reid
T h i r d l y I d o n ' t c a l l six weeks of laborious diplomaticpursuit of peace " i n t r a n s i gence". M a y b e old R . S . w o u l d have liked to have seen o v e r w h e l m i n g apathy about the affair. I suppose that way nobody w o u l d be killed. But, let's fact it, if the average British trooper was told now that the g o v e r n m e n t was b r i n g i n g h i m home because it was c o n c e r n e d about his safety, thanks w o u l d be the last t h i n g he w o u l d proffer. I think that "emotionless z o m b i e s " (oh, most p i c t o r i a l R . S . . most pictorial) in the government happen to have the backbone to realise that British people — and international law don't forget— are w o r t h fighting for. Yes, and d v i n g for. It's called guts. R.S. F o u r t h l y . I don't
FELIX, May 28,
1982
really
think anybody can describe the role of the T a s k Force as a mere " n a t i o n a l exercise". T h e retaking of S o u t h G e o r g i a without loss of life a n d the l a n d i n g of British troops on the F a l k l a n d s recently were both deeds of sheer professionalism; enough to make any British chest swell w i t h pride. Fifthly (and I must admit rather pettily) R . S . is w r o n g to say that the government's course of action " p u t s them in a c omparabl e league as the A r g e n t i n i a n j u n t a " ; on two c o u n t s . O n e , b e c a u s e he's w r i t i n g tripe again and two, because one n o r m a l l y c o m pares things ' w i t h ' or 'two' rather than 'as'. M i n d you, translating Bennite drivel isn't easy. L a s t l y , let me r e m i n d h i m of that splendid mother w ho appeared on T V with a brave lace just 24 hours alter her son h a d been k i l l e d on H M S Sheflield and urged B r i t i a n to back the Falklanders. Prats like ' R . S . I can't remember m y department or year A l e x ander' can gripe and w i m p away a l l they like. T h e F a l k l a n d e r s won't want to know. 1 'ours sincerely
S i m o n Pettit Life Sci 1 Mr
In reply to R . S . A l e x a n d e r ' s anti-government, antiF a l k l a n d Islands and proA r g e n t i n e letter ol last week ( F E L I X 6 1 5 ) , I n o t e the following: T h e F a l k l a n d s were invaded a n d o c c u p i e d a b o u t seven weeks ago. T h e U n i t e d N a tions passed Resolution 502 w h i c h told the Argentines to get out. T h i s was ignored. A r t i c l e 51 o f t h e U n i t e d N a t i o n s C h a r t e r allows for self-defence w h e n i n v a d e d , w h i c h is why the Task Force was sent. R . S . A l e x a n d e r prefers a "sensible and peaceful solut i o n " probably r u n n i n g a l o n g the lines of the Task Force w i t h d r a w i n g , the F a l k l a n d s being ceded to the Argentines and the wishes of the Islanders being ignored totally (comm o n l y k n o w n as sell-out). H e also suggests that the Islanders " s h o u l d be given the chance of e v a c u a t i o n " w h i c h w i l l probably end u p as lorceable
eviction. I do not k n o w where
JC fladio
R . S . A l e x a n d e r lives but I a m
Chaplaincy
sure he w i l l be quite happy to oblige when
the
Zambian
A r m y move i n , erect their flag and
have h i m a n d
evacuated
with
his family
the
loss
of
their home a n d possessions as he
suggests. A f t e r
Zambians owners" there
are
all,
"the
(tribesmen
327BC).
the
rightful camped
He
fails
to
realise that a sell-out on
the
F a l k l a n d s w i l l give licence to Spain
invading
Gibralter
(after the W o r l d C u p ! ) , C u b a
Hello, good morning and welcome; there, that's got the corny bit over for this week, now d o w n to business. Y o u ' v e probably noticed by now, despite Argentina's best efforts to provide alternative entertainment, that I C is beset by a n annual disease called examitis. It is characterised by students blowing dust off their textbooks, e x h u m i n g problem sheets a n d asking one another where the library is. A tonic w h i c h can bring partial relief is available free to residents of Southside a n d L i n s t e a d , and even s o m e people in B e r n a r d Sunley H o u s e : the remarkable properties of I C R a d i o include the relaxation of your brain cell(s) and even calming your s t o m a c h after a hastily-consumed moonie (I would say " e a t e n " , but that w o u l d imply that food was imbibed). Y e s , I C Radio continues through the crisis period with the Breakfast S h o w every M o n d a y , W e d n e s d a y and F r i d a y , and programmes to m a k e your revision a little bit easier each weekday evening, starting at 6:00pm; and, of course, lunchtime programmes to the J C R on T u e s d a y s and T h u r s d a y s .
i n v a d i n g the C a y m a n Islands, Guatemala and
invading
France
Channel
Belize
invading
Islands a n d
the
Isle
ol
W i g h t . A l l of these are u n d e r British soveriegnity a n d to
remain
Falkland
so,
as
wish
do
the
Islanders. But then,
the wishes of the residents are quite irrelevant a c c o r d i n g R.S. I
to
Community D u e to the B a n k Holiday, next meeting will be on Tuesday, June 1, 12:30pm, Rag C o m m i t t e e R m . S o u p R u n s as usual. If y o u need a change from revision: helpers a r e n e e d e d for h e l p at A c t o n Y o u t h C l u b o n S a t u r d a y s , especially Saturday, J u n e 5.
Alexander. also
note
several
anti-government
rabid
paragraphs.
But w h e n the alternatives
to
this government arc Foot a n d Bcnn —
the
flower
pot
or wishy washy W o y then
Margaret
infinitely
men,
Jenkins,
Thatcher
is
preferable.
Finally,
most
Imperial
C o l l e g e students are far more intelligent
than
R.S.
ander makes out. bably
saw
Alex-
They
through
pro-
all
the
p r o p a g a n d a in his letter as I did.
PG
Group
T h e p a p e r s f o r t h e p o s t s of c h a i r m a n , treasurer and secretary of t h e P G G r o u p g o u p t h i s F r i d a y , M a y 28, in the U n i o n Lower Lounge. T h e P G G r o u p A G M will be on M o n d a y , J u n e 14, at 1:00pm in the U n i o n Senior C o m m o n R o o m , w h e r e t h e e l e c t i o n s for t h e s e posts and those of social secretary and welfare officer will take place. Doug Armstrong
Model Aircraft
} ours Paul
Holt
Physics 2 Since
PS:
written from
this
about
the
letter 5,000
Task
established
was
troops
Force
have
a bridgehead
the F a l k l a n d
Islands a n d
on are
in the process o f l i b c r a t i o n . In the w o r l d now
there is great
danger of a nasty outbreak ol respect for
Britain.
c u
|
f
^
e c u o u -c
C
a. a\ h — S
2
So o
o § u > £. ° J2 E g " _e O be c a
a, s
rJ1
T h e M o d e l A i r c r a f t C l u b is organising a tour of F r a n c e for ten days from July 24 to August 2. W e plan to visit a lot of slope soaring sites, stun the locals with our wonderous flying ability, acquire absurd froggy accents and generally live off the fat of the land a bit. There are a couple of vacant seats in the van so if y o u like the s o u n d of t h i s w h e e z e p l e a s e contact me. I k n o w there are lots of people in College who fly model airplaines only during the holidays a n d t h e r e f o r e h a v e not j o i n e d I C M A C . If you are one of these a n d you would like to c o m e we could easily join you up. It would also be an ideal way for a novice to learn to fly even if you don't have your o w n equipment. T h e club has just bought a new radio and we h a v e a s u i t a b l e g l i d e r for training. T h e cost of transport for the trip will be about £50 each. If you are interested in this (or just want to come flying at the weekend) please contact: N i c k G r e e n , B o t a n y P G (Rm 406), Int 2 0 3 3 , h o m e 9 6 9 - 2 5 1 1 ; Ian S h e p h e r d , C o m p u t i n g 3, home 868-5391.
Snooker W o w ! It's a s n o o k e r a r t i c l e , r e m e m b e r them? N o t a lot has happened, just the o d d item of mindless vandalism to our lights, we hope the culprits have multiple pneumothoraxes. T h e cue-tipping situation is not helped by people m i s t r e a t i n g the c u e s . W e a r e losing our best. Apologies to all decent honest members. Right, moans over, onto brighter subjects. G & G will play S i m p k i n and Calvert in the doubles final if they can find them. White w on his first r o u n d match in the billiards, a n d H o l t p r o p o s e d a v o t e of thanks at the committee handover meeting, which we all seconded.
Barrel O r g a n A i d s C h r i s t i a n A i d Every year groups of students take to the streets in the first week of M a y to follow the barrel organ which is stricken with an annual attack of wanderlust in C h r i s t i a n A i d W e e k . T h i s year our nomadic friend has been heard in venues f r o m t h e N a t i o n a l T h e a t r e to Portobello M a r k e t , from C h i s w i c k H i g h Street to Piccadilly C i r c u s , and in further widening his (her?) experience has joined the soup r u n , t r a v e r s e d the H u n g e r f o r d Bridge at high speed, and visited the Leicester Square " S u p e r l o o " . S u c h a V I P is b o u n d to attract a t t e n t i o n f r o m t h e p u b l i c ; his innards were nearly brought up on two o c c a s i o n s by the same busker; he was offered a recording contract by a deranged gentleman from 'Radio R e c o r d i n g S e r v i c e s ' and in the latter part of the week he was a c c o m p a n i e d by a large g o r i l l a w h o w a s c o n t r a c t e d to approach small children with a c o l l e c t i n g t i n . T h e m a j o r i t y of children decided it couldn't be a real gorilla because it was too fat and had spots. A great deal of fun was had by all, including I hope, the people who contributed £860 to C h r i s t i a n A i d o n the street a n d through the envelope collection in Halls. Steve Parr
Bookshop News W e have a limited number of the complete D o v e r Science catalogues for anyone interested in their publications. T h e s e are free from the B o o k s h o p Manager. A slow but steady response from lecturers re R e c o m m e n d e d Reading Lists for next term. D o n ' t forget: If you want a list, ask at the B o o k s h o p . W e must have the information to stock the books. New Titles Magimix Cookery - M a r i k a H a n b u r y T e n i s o n , R o b s o n B o o k s £7.95. Alternative London - G e o r g a n n e D o w n e s , Otherwise Press £3.50. Little Big - J o h n C r o w l e y , G o l l a n c z £5.95. Disasters - H u g h V i c k e r s , N o r m a n & Even Greater Operatic M c B h o u s e £3.95. Letters From A Fainthearted Feminist - Jill Tweedie, R o b s o n B o o k s £5.95. The Summer Before The Frost - J e a - Y v e s P o t e l , P l u t o Press £3.95. British Government and it's Discontents - S m i t h & Polsby, Basic B o o k s £7.95. The Club Secretary's Guide - H e s t i a Q u i n n , D a v i d & C h a r l e s £3.95. Book of First Aid - B l a n d f o r d , £1.95. Book of Riding - Blandford £1.95. Book of Salads - B l a n d f o r d £1.95. Trade Wind - M M K a y e , Penguin £1.95. Bloomers - A l l e n & U n w i n £1.50. London Round the Clock - C a n a l Publications £3.50. Rising Sons - Robert Levine, F o n t a n a £1.95. The House Names Book - J o y c e Miles, Allen & U n w i n £1.50. The Tigris Expedition - T h o r H e y e r d a h l , Allen & U n w i n £2.95. Cuisine Gourmande - M i c h e l G u e r a r d , P a p e r M a c £4.95. Nouvelle Cuisine - J & P Troisgros, P a p e r M a c £4.95. Cuisine of the Sun - Roger V e r g e , P a p e r M a c £4.95. Lead Title Prisoner Without a Name, T i m e r m a n , Penguin £1.75.
FELIX, May 28, 1982
Cell without
a
Number
Jacobo
Page
5
Missing Cert AA Directed by CostaGavras Now showing Empire 2, ABC Fulham Rd. O n S e p t e m b e r 16, 1973, at the height of the military c o u p w h i c h o v e r t h r e w the government of D r S a l v a d o r A l l e n d e i n C h i l e , A m e r i c a n writer Charles H o r m a n (John Shea) disa p p a a r e d f r o m his h o m e i n Santiago. T h i s is u n d i s p u t e d fact. T h e film traces t h e events following the arrival of his father E d m u n d H o r m a n (Jack L e m m o n ) i n Santiago to investigate the disappearnce. It c u l m i n a t e s in t h e revelation that t h e A m e r i c a n government was implicated in the o v e r t h r o w of t h e C h i l e a n government a n d t h e s u b s e q u e n t disappearance of C h a r l e s H o r m a n b e c a u s e he k n e w t o o m u c h . T h i s is p r e s e n t e d a s fact, but is hotly d i s p u t e d b y t h e U S State D e p a r t m e n t . E d m u n d H o r m a n sued Henry Kissinger and n u m e r o u s o t h e r t o p U S officials b u t t o n o avail. T h e film w a s clandestinely filmed i n M e x i c o C i t y , l o o k i n g not unlike Santiago, with startling realism. C h i l e a n t r o o p s were s h o w n every bit as m e n a c i n g as w h e n this writer h a d the g o o d fortune t o find himself i n Santiago i n more stable times last year. T h i s , c o u p l e d with L e m m o n ' s brilliant p e r f o r m a n c e a ? E d m u n d H o r m a n , s h o w i n g h i m t o be a m a n of deep d e t e r m i n a t i o n , a n d a s u p p o r t e r of t h e " A m e r i c a n W a y " w h o s e great confidence i n government officials fades rapidly as h e begins to see t h r o u g h their glossy, compassionate facade, m a k e s Missing o n e of the best serious films this year. It w a s A m e r i c a ' s entry t o the C a n n e s F i l m Festival w h i c h must be a b l o w t o the U S S t a t e D e p a r t m e n t , w h o i n their d e t e r m i n e d efforts t o find t h e t r u t h , have p r o d u c e d a three page denial of events p o r t r a y e d i n t h e film i n o r d e r that the public may be c o r r e c t l y i n f o r me d. It is deliberate that I have n o t said if C h a r l e s H o r m a n w a s eventually found o r n o t . If y o u don't already k n o w the whole story then it is better t o avoid other reviews a n d t o see the
film, as I. d i d , e x p e r i e n c i n g the same sense of uncertainty that E d m u n d H o r m a n a n d his daughter-in-law (Sissy S p a c e k ) must have gone t h r o u g h in their s e a r c h for C h a r l e s in the face of total adversity. T h i s , together with the r e m a r k a b l e r e a l i s m , is the b a c k b o n e of this excellent film. S. Marshall (Our Man in Chile.)
BRITANNIA HOSPITAL
A n d e r s o n draws many characters (and actors) from his previous t w o films including M i c k T r a v i s (the rebel s c h o o l b o y from If a n d ambitious coffee salesman from 0 Lucky Man) played by M a l c o l m M c D o w e l l a n d Professor Millar ( G r a h a m C r o w d e n ) w h o develops as a brilliantly funny m a m character. T h e Millar C e n t r e is due to be o p e n e d by " H R H " s o the professor, like a m o d e r n F r a n k e n s t e i n , pushes back the frontiers of science with scant regard for h u m a n feelings to please his royal guest. T h e film has m a n y targets: the trade unions, m o d e r n technology, royalty, the police force, and the m e d i a —in fact, most B r i t i s h institutions. It is for this reason that quite a stir was c a u s e d w h e n it w a s c h o s e n as one of Britain's entries in the C a n n e s F i l m Festival. T h e sick j o k e s a n d d a r k h u m o u r m a y not m a k e it popular with the establishment, but it displays all the qualities of British h u m o u r at its best: cutting, introspective a n d well performed. A l t h o u g h the film is episodic (which makes it almost impossible t o advertise well) continuity is just about maintained as it races towards a moving climax. B y its very nature this is a film w h i c h will divide the audience a n d the critics. B u t y o u shouldn't really miss the c h a n c e t o see what is undoubtably a major B r i t i s h c o m e d y . Mark Smith
Britannia Hospital Certificate AA Directed by Lindsay Anderson Starring Leonard Rossiter, Graham Crowden, Malcolm McDowell Now showing ABC Shaftesbury Avenue, Fulham Road. Britannia Hospital is in trouble. P i c k e t s stop all but t h e most urgent admissions a n d the U n i o n s halt c o o k e d breakfasts t o the private wing. Hospital administrator M r Potter ( L e o n a r d Rossiter) h a s t o prepare for a royal visitor, under i n s t r u c t i o n from a dwarf a n d a transvestite, a n d a maniacal professor
Ed (Jack Lemmon) and Beth (Sissy Spacek) look up in a stadium filled with political prisoners and think they see Charles.
Page 6
prepares to reveal his ultimate creation to the world. T h e s e are s o m e of the scanty elements w h i c h go to p r o d u c e L i n d s a y A n d e r s o n ' s latest black c o m e d y , w h i c h m a k e s a n o d d trilogy out of // a n d O Lucky Man. H a v i n g seen these films y o u w o u l d e x p e c t a strange a n d h u m o r o u s l o o k a t B r i t i s h life f r o m t h e i n s i d e — y o u certainly won't be disappointed.
*76eatne by Melissa Murray. The Execution Presented by Monstrous Regiment and directed by Sue Dunderdale. Institute of Contemporary Arts, The Mall. The Execution, a play in the style Of a political, historical epic, follows the true story of t h e w o m e n b e h i n d t h e k i l l i n g of T s a r A l e x a n d e r II, H o l y F a t h e r of A l l R u s s i a . A l e x a n d e r II c a m e to the throne i n 1855 a n d p r o c l a i m e d a p r o g r a m m e of social reforms, relaxation of c e n s o r s h i p, i m p r o v e m e n t s in the educational system, trial by jury a n d e m a n c i p a t i o n of the serfs. B u t the p r o m i s e d 'revolution from a b o v e ' failed t o materialise. D u r i n g these times, higher education w a s virtually unobtainable for women inside Russia. T h o s e w h o c o u l d afford to, a n d w h o c o u l d escape their families, went to universities in F r a n c e , G e r m a n y a n d S w i t z e r l a n d , where they also gained a grounding in political theory a n d philosophy, m u c h of it from the writings of emigre R u s s i a n revolutionaries. T h e play follows the lives of a small group of w o m e n f r o m t h e t i m e of a n e d i c t w h i c h o r d e r e d the r e t u r n of all w o m e n students to R u s s i a o n the grounds that they were leading dissolute a n d i m m o r a l lives. T h e w o m e n r e t u r n e d , not merely in obedience to the T s a r , but to begin their active political lives. T h e y began b y merging with the c o m m o n folk, adopting peasant clothes a n d living a n d w o r k i n g in the countryside. T h e government interpreted the m o v e m e n t as an attempted revolution a n d h a d most of t h e m arrested. H o w e v e r they were s o o n freed a n d lost no
time in persuing more clandestine political activity. M o r e repressive measures followed w h i c h a t t e m p t e d to c o n t a i n t h e g r o w i n g activity. A feeling of frustration and impatience led the group to consider taking the life of the T s a r . T h e group split over this question but a section s u c c e e d e d in 1881 at their eighth attempt to kill the T s a r . S i x of the group were later e x e c u t e d. A l t h o u g h a n entertaining piece of narrative d r a m a , the play's pace is furious. O n e has to hang onto one's seat very tightly as one is w h i s k e d past the various moral a n d political questions of revolutionary activity w h i c h the play purports to examine. O n e has no time to reflect o n these issues a n d other interesting facets of pre-revolution R u s s i a s u c h as the incongruity of r i c h , intellectual rev. iu'.ionaries attempting to mingle w ' . l . the peasants, the squeezing out of "be R u s s i a : ; G o d from the progressive idv.°r- rtussia's lack of an identity or a c o m m o n p e o p l e a n d its c u l t u r a l dependence on the W e s t . The Execution is a c o n t r i b u t i o n to t h e feminist " W o m e n L i v e " e v e n t s that are currently taking place and its subject matter o b v i o u s l y m a k e s a g o o d c h o i c e with its portrayal of exemplary, determined y o u ng w o m e n intent o n constructing a more just and humane society. H o w e v e r this is not the play's strongest message, and although it is the sort of play that induces different responses or impressions in member s of the audience, its lasting impression was of the sad sight of intelligent and calculating individuals resorting to d e s p e r a t e a l m o s t m a d efforts t h r o u g h frustration and impatience in not seeing the f r u i t s of t h e i r l a b o u r s . R e v o l u t i o n s d o n ' t happen overnight and the characters required of revolutionaries w h o desire to usher in a m o r e c i v i l i s e d s o c i e t y after d e c a d e s or centuries of habit and conditioning is one of almost s u pe r - h u man patience. Nick Bedding
I C C h o i r m e m b e r s ' p e r s i s t e n c e in s e l l i n g tickets resulted in quite a good audience for their performance of B a c h ' s St. J o h n Passion on M a y 21, but pressure of exams or fear of Pigotts (a w e e k e n d in the country to learn the work) had reduced the size of the choir itself considerably from that w h i c h performed the V e r d i R e q u i e m before Easter. B o t h choir a n d o r c h e s t r a made a firm start o n the opening c h o r u s . T h e altos immediately made it obvious that they lacked both the clear tone of the sopranos and the courage of the tenors w h o , despite numbering only 10 (less than half the alto p o p u l a t i o n ) , sang with conviction and w o r k e d hard to balance ihe larger numbers of sopranos and basses. T h e soprano tone did deteriorate somewhat in the s e c o n d half when one or two voices, audible above the rest of the choir, b e c a m e rather screeching — notably at the shouts o f ' C r u c i f y H i m ' . T h e basses were as reliable as ever but lac k ed some weight in the lower register. In general the choir sang the chorales well with a controlled balanced s o u n d . T h e more vigorous c h o r u s e s were a t t a c k e d with c o m p e t e n c e although those requiring more agile voices were m a r r e d by a great surge of relief in the closing bars. T h e o r c h e s t r a showed some disagreement amongst the strings as to w h i c h ascending scale should begin one particular aria but p r o d u c e d some lovely w o o d w i n d solos. A fine continuo was played o n h a r p s i c h o r d cello and organ. T h e most outstanding solo performance was given by P e n e l o p e W a l k e r (contralto) in
Tennis Kings College vs IC H a v i n g a r r i v e d at E n f i e l d T C , i n D a v e G l a d m a n ' s custom converted excort, the I C t e a m a n d the Steve W i l l i s a p j i r e c i a t i o n society h a d to squeeze back inside as their courts were too wet to play on. T h e r e was a change of venue w h i c h obviously d i s t u r b e d the I C side. G l a d m a n a n d M . S h e p h e r d seemed to regard the first m a t c h as a w a r m u p a n d lost 6-0, 6-3 whereas W i l l i s a n d P h i l (not shot) S h e p h e r d m a n a g e d to take their m a t c h to three sets, but lost 2-1. In the s e c o n d m a t c h e s S h e p h e r d a n d G l a d m a n t u r n e d on the form a n d w o n 7-6, 46, 6-1. H o w e v e r , the other m a t c h was left unfinished at one set each 6-6. in p o u r i n g r a i n , h o w l i n g w i n d a n d darkness at 9 : 3 0 p m . S p e c i a l m e n t i o n to M . Shepherd's hairless but shapely legs w h i c h gave h i m extra speed o w i n g to reduced w i n d resistance.
Cricket Enfield Chase vs IC H i m n e r s was desperate for advice alter this m a t c h a n d a wise o l d cricketer offered h i m the f o l l o w i n g : " W e l l B i l l , il I were y o u . I w o u l d take up croquet. I m e a n they do play that sort of t h i n g in Z i m b a b w e where you come f r o m , don't they? A l t e r w a t c h i n g you b o w l today, I really feel it is not w o r t h y o u r w h i l e c a r r y i n g on. A l t e r a l l . v o u r bodv is built more l o r
' C h a i n s of Bondage' beautifully a c c o m p a n i e d by an oboe duet. D u r i n g the bass aria 'Haste poor souls' it was debatable whether it was the soloist William S c h i m m e l , or the choir who was performing at short notice — the choir's intermittent ' O h where?' sounding like mass h e a v y b r e a t h i n g . U n f o r t u n a t e l y the t e n o r soloist L a w r e n c e Dale obviously thought that the c o n d u c t o r Eric B r o w n knew the answer to ' A h my soul, what end awaiteth thee?' as he d i r e c t e d the w h o l e of t h i s a r i a ( a n d h i s subsequent solos) towards him. A clear expressive recitative was sung by A n d r e w K i n g as the Evangelist. C h r i s t u s was sung by J o n a t h a n B e s t a n d the s o p r a n o s o l o b y Jennifer A d a m s . GMR
A c o n c e r t g i r e n b y the Imperial College Symphony Orchestra in the Great Hall, Imperial College. May 19, 1982. Y o u r reviewer, after getting back from a particularly shattering day. was sitting quietly waiting for the concert to begin when a very beautiful red headed timpanist b o u n c ed up to ask if I c o u l d review the concert for F E L I X ; never having been k n o w n to refuse a lady anything 1 agreed. T h e c o n c e i t began with Berlioz's R o m a n C a r n i v a l O v e r t u r e which is a highly c o m p l e x FELIX. May 28,
1982
ballet t h a n q u i c k b o w l i n g , a n d croquet is not t h a t e n e r g e t i c . O K , so y o u f l u k e d t w o crickets but this was a l i m i t e d overs game a n d you cannot b o w l three l o n g hops an over d o w n the leg side. Y o u blew it. Y o u lost I C the game. I agree Bussey was also hit all a r o u n d the park but you must take most ol the responsibility yourself. D o n ' t take it to heart, B i l l o l d m a n . C r o q u e t c a n be t h r i l l i n g , you k n o w . " H i m n r r s skulked into a corner where he found Bussey reflecting on being hit for six over long-off' a n d W h i t e c o n t e m p l a t i n g how he once enjoyed a game of cricket. But that was three years ago a n d he hasn't smiled since. I n c i d e n t a l l y , we were thrashed. A l l the front line batsmen failed a g a i n , led by a stylish golden d u c k from S i m p k i n . This really is b e c o m i n g a habit of his. W e s l u m p e d lo 66 for 6 before M o r t o n (45, a n d Bussey 21 no m a d e the score respectable. O u r 40 over* were c o m p l e t e d w i t h us on 143 for 8. A n d then H i m n e r s bowled a n d you c a n guess the rest. K i n g s w o n by six wickets w i t h m a n y overs to spare. F o l l o w the advice of-a wise o l d cricketer. B i l l — take up (roquet! Rock's Revenge
Athletics O n M a y 19 U L U h e l d an athletics m e e t i n g at M o t s p u r P a r k . U L m e n versus R o y a l Navy; A r m y ; Kent and Thames Valley H a r r i e r s . U L w o m e n versus the R o y a l N a v y . T h e I C contingent was c o m p r i s e d of R o g e r F l y n n and K a r e n B a r n e t t . Both were s p r i n t i n g in the 100m ' B ' string. P r i o r to the m e e t i n g , r u m o u r s h a d been c i r c u l a t i n g that the N a v y ' s t e a m were for some reason l a c k i n g in s t r e n g t h . T h i s c l a i m was f u r t h e r substantiated w h e n K a r e n w o n the 100m ' B ' and R o g e r c a m e second in the men's 100m ' B ' , later r u n n i n g a leg i n the men's 4 0 0 m medley relay. I n c i d e n t a l l y , U L U M e n a n d w o m e n w o n the meeting.
piece of orchestration and is well suited to the t a l e n t s of I C S O w h o g a v e it a s p l e n d i d rendering. T h e piano c o n c e r t o no. 23 K488 by M o z a r t followed next and illustrates further, if such illustration was required, the value of music m a k i n g in this College as it allows talented musicians an opportunity to display their virtuosity w h i c h they might not otherwise have. T h e m u s i c i a n in this case was D a m i a n W i s n i e w s k i w h o gave a superb rendering of the c o n c e r t o both in delicacy in playing and in his sensitive interpretation. This latter was in a very romantic m o d e a n d shows that one does n o t h a v e t o r e t u r n t o ' h o w it m u s t h a v e sounded to M o z a r t ' in order to produce a beautiful effect. It only requires for it to be played with sympathy and understanding for s u c h a n e f f e c t t o be p r o d u c e d . M y o n l y adverse c r i t i c i s m of this piece was that the w o o d w i n d p l a y e r s s o m e t i m e s let t h e s i d e down. T c h a i k o v s k y ' s 4th S y m p h o n y provided a full outlet for the energetic c o n d u c t i n g style of R i c h a r d D i c k i n s (dressed in a white dinner jacket). H e controlled the orchestra through s o m e very difficult pieces especially the pizzicato. Special reference must be made to the b r a s s s e c t i o n a n d the t r u m p e t s in particular who played exactly what was required; c a n there be higher praise? Altogether it was a most enjoyable evening and I left feeling a lot less shattered than when I arrived. Frank James Page 7
sort of ballot, perhaps including Union Life Members, should take place. The whole thing could, of course, fall through if the money is not available, if academic- departments object strongly (for financial reasons) or if students generally disagree with the move. We cannot rely on
either of the former, and the latter is certainly the most important factor to be considered at present.
The Southside Plan The news of Nick Morton's great mystery leaked last Friday after F E L I X had been distributed. I'm a little surprised, not to say annoyed, that Morton should take such a clandestine approach to what is probably the most important decision the Union has had to make since its formation. He made no effort to inform the Union of what he and College Secretary John Smith have been discussing until it was too late. If he had revealed the plans in Exec News last Friday (which he certainly should have) then perhaps we would have had a packed A G M with people who were willing to give their opinions on the scheme. A s it is, we have to trust that Nick M o r t o n knows what he's doing and that College won't take advantage of the way he has failed to find out what people think, whilst he personally is all for the idea. There is no reason for a great panic or overreaction to what is, after all, only a very tentative idea. But we shouldn't be lulled into trusting the Union or College leadership and everybody should try to make their opinion clear. A s soon as more definite plans are available they should be published and some
Airing Dirty Linen Several fairly important matters have been overshadowed by The Southside Plan. It has been decided that the linen service in Halls of Residence is to be dropped. There is some disagreement about the consequences of such a move and the possible savings for students. The main reasons for agreeing to drop the service was to save money and create a large, central laundry for use by all IC students. Well I doubt whether it will save much money except if you don't wash the sheets at all. At present it costs about £1 a week to have clean linen delivered to your door. If you washed your sheets every week and considered the amount of time, effort and inconvenience this causes, then it would easily be valued at over £1. Secondly the Hall Wardens are divided over increased laundry facilities. They seem to want a large laundry, but for use by Hall residents only. Some Wardens disagree with the idea completely and the indespensible Senior Warden Don Monro cooked up the whole thing in the first place. It seems very pointless to me and may be yet another false economy. FELIX Rally A l l is not dead at Imperial College! The fabulous F E L I X Rally will take place on Sunday, June 20 with clues set by ScaraIf you take a rectangle divided into unit squares, and tile it with two-square dominoes, most of the grid lines of the rectangle will have one or more dominoes lying across them. If there is a grid line with no dominoes crossing it (so the rectangle can be separated into two smaller rectangles) we say the rectangle has a fault, in the same way that we refer to a geological fault between layers of rock. The first diagram shows a fault in a 5x6 rectangle, the second shows a fault-free tiling of the same area. For this week's puzzle, I want a fault-free tiling of a 6x8 rectangle. Solutions, comments, criticisms to me at the FEUX Office, please. £5 (donated by Mend-aBike) for the best solution received by Wednesday, 1:00pm.
Last Week's Solution 17 seems to be the minimum number, and of the three who found valid solutions. C . N . Goh, Elec Eng 3, was selected as a winner (again!).
mouche and myself about various places in London. The idea of the rally is to spend a timed period on a treasure hunt around Central L o n d o n w i t h a set of c l u e s a n d map references. Teams of up to four may take part and pairs on motorcycles are allowed. Points are collected for items of treasure and clues solved, and the winners will have their names engraved on the FELIX Rally pot. If you are interested in entering please contact the FELIX Office and we'll give you more details. Credits Thanks to Peter, David, Dave, N . , Nick, Steve, Jez, Paul, all the collators, Maz and Ian.
S u b w a r d e n of W e e k s H a l l The position of Subwarden of Weeks Hall will be available from October 1982. The post provides rent-free accommodation in a small flat in return for light but c o n t i n u o u s duties a s s i s t i n g the W a r d e n mainly in running some amenities and a c t i n g as S e c r e t a r y to the H a l l C o m m i t t e e . Weeks Hall is a small Hall by College standards, housing 50 male and 16 female students all in single rooms, but as the donation of Vickers L t d to a high standard of amenities and opened in 1959. There are, however, structural problems and special regulations have to be observed to ensure the safety of residents. Applications are invited from responsible postgraduate students, research assistants, or young members of academic staff who expect to be able to serve for either two or three years. It is unusual for undergraduates to hold subwardenships but not impossible. Please apply in writing by June 11 1982 to the Warden, D r D M M u n r o , giving full details of qualifications and experience. A short list of applicants for interview will be prepared on the basis of these letters of application.
What's On Friday, May 28 • S o u p Run, 10:30pm, Falmouth Kitchen.
Tuesday, June 1 •Wine Tasting society meeting, 6:00pm, Union SCR. Tasting a variety of interesting wines, this is the last meeting of the year. • D a n c i n g club, mixed ability class, 7:30pm, JCR. • S o u p Run, 10:30pm, Falmouth Kitchen.
Thursday, June 3 • T u r n It O n Again (last of three programmes), 1:00 and 6:00pm, JCR, Southside T V Lounge, Beit, Linstead, Weeks and Garden Halls. A browse through the STOIC archives, featuring material recorded over the last academic year. • S u m m e r Singing, 5:45pm, Music Rm, 53 Prince's Gate. Vivaldi's 'Gloria' and Mendelssohn's 'Elijah' will be sung purely for fun. Everyone welcome.
Warden Rayleigh House This post is suitable for a married postgraduate expecting to remain at IC for a further two years. Application forms from Union Office. Closing date for applications 5:00pm, June 1. Further information is available from present Warden, Mike Hudson, Int 4095, (eves) 589-1329.
F E L I X is published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (589-5111 ext 1048 int 2881) Copyright FELIX
1982.
Editor:
M A Smith, Advertising
Manager:
S M Gibtin.
Social Colours Executive N i c k M o r t o n , I C U President M a r c o L e d w o l d , I C U H o n Secretary A n d y Rushton, President C & G U
General J i m C r o s s , Estates Jim Savoy, Estates Bill T r o y , Bookings M i k e M a c C o r m a c k , B B C O p e n D o or Val Hill, B B C O p e n D o o r Tony Haines, Health Centre Pat Kilshaw, Health Centre Bob Schroter, Refec Cttee Chairman Geoff Chappell, Estates Hector C a m e r o n - C l a r k , Estates J e n Hardy-Smith ( R A ) , U n i o n Administrator Pat Baker ( R A ) , U n i o n Typist Joanna Hewanicka, U n i o n Receptionist Roy H i c k s , Bookshop Manager Harry Magray, Southside Bar Manager Selina Pelham, Domestic Section Arthur Loveday, Harlington Marjory Loveday, Harlington Sue Jacobs, College Asst S e c D o n C l a r k , Estates J . M a r t i n Taylor, C o n s o c , E A O N i c k W a t m o u g h , Rag Conference Dave Rowe, A P Editor Jonqthan Barnett. Welfare K e v a n Reeve, A C C C h a i r m a n G o r d o n Masterton, Univ Challenge A l u n Griffiths, Univ Challenge Martin S. Taylor, Univ Challenge T i m Pigden, Univ Challenge Zigmunt t o g i n s k i , Univ Challenge Douglas Armstrong, P G C h a i r m a n M i k e Prosser, P u b B o a r d C h a i r m a n Sean C o y l e , I C C A G C h a i r m a n Stephen G o u l d e r , S C C C h a i r m a n Christine Teller, S C A B C h a i r m a n Ronan M c D o n a l d , Rag C h a i r m a n
M i k e Booty, A A O N i c k Pyne, Welfare Officer C h r i s Jones, R C C C h a i r m a n G o r d o n Quartey, O S C C h a i r m a n Nick Lambrou, Open Door, O S C T o n y S m i t h , Siiwood P k Chairman Robyn Morgan, P W P Chairman M a r k S m i t h , F E L I X Editor Pete Stevens, Nightline Director Professor Laithwaite, Wellsoc G a r y T u r n e r, Student Manager, 6 Earls C o u r t Square
RCC David Marshall, W i n e Tasting M i c k Bull, H a m S o c Julian C o o c h , H a m S o c T i m C l a r k , C a n o e , R C C Vice Chairman T i m Panton, M i c r o C l u b Jane Scanlon, Balloon C l u b A n d y W a l k e r , Balloon C l u b J o h n White, Snooker C l u b C h r i s Jennings, Snooker C l u b A n d y Gunnaway, Snooker C l u b C h r i s T r i p p , Snooker C l u b J o n Marangos, R C C H o n Sec Scarlette G r a y , Wine Tasting T i m Wright, C h e s s C l u b T i m K n o t t , Balloon C l u b
ACC Lesley H o r r o c k s , V i c e C h a i r m a n Gill Butler, H o n Sec Phil Niccolls, Asst H o n Sec A n d r e Mitchell, J u n Treasurer Jane Hillier, W o m e n s Sports Rep M a r y Harrington, Transport Officer H u g h MacGillivary
1981/82
OSC N K C h u n g , Chinese Society N i c k P o o n , Chinese Society Audrey B o o n , Chinese Society P K Shiu, Chinese Society Charles N g , Chinese Society Efthimakis Papapostolou, Hellenic Society Sakis Prassus, Hellenic S o c Andreas Demopoulos, Hellenic S o c Dimitri Papakonstanibinou, Hellenic Society S C Kler, India Society N Mistry, India Society
SCAB Martin A b r a h a m , I C S O , Chamber Orchestra M a r y Jolliffe, I C S O , O p s o c David Burgess (Prof), I C S O Scratch C o l i n Cooper, Dramsoc, C N D Iain C o u c h e r , Dramsoc Chris Barton, Dramsoc Matthew T o n k s , Dramsoc Vivienne C o o k S C A B , I C S O Roger Middlebrook, O p s o c Dermot M c L a w l e y , Debsoc Fiona Sinclair, O p s o c , Dramsoc Stuart M c D o n a l d , Film S o c
ICCAG Paul Sunderland, Secretary Brian C r o s s , Transport Officer A l a n C o o k , Treasurer Rebecca M a y , Publicity Officer
P G Group David W o o d , Welfare Officer Bob Rollins, Social Sec
C o l o u r s C o m m i t t e e r e c o m m e n d e d t h e a w a r d i n g of H o n o r a r y L i f e Membership to:
Pat Baker
Pub Board David Childs, S T O I C Tracy Poole, S T O I C Michael Harbourne, S T O I C N i c k Bleech, IC Radio Steve Hartwell, I C Radio Phil Layton, I C Radio Nigel G r a h a m , Senior Treasurer Lawrence Windley, H o n Sec, S T O I C Chairman Peter Rodgers, F E L I X
Rag John McCullion, H J T Terry Everett D r Dave Hardwick, Senior Treasurer Phil Greenstreet, R C S U V P Gaynor Lewis, R S M V P
SCC J o h n Hughes, Pimlico Connection D r Sinclair Goodlad, Pimlico C o n n Nigel Rennie, S C C , I C U Christian Union Pallab G h o s h , S C C , Wellsoc Robert Kelsey, W L C , S o c S o c , C N D , Anti-Apartheid William C o r t a z z i , C o n s o c M r s Laura Barnar, S D S Chris Wilshaw, Industrial Society Graeme Shaw, W L C , S o c S o c , C N D , Anti-Apartheid Irfan A n m a d , Islamic S o c A C Bird, W L C Jonathan Miller, Jewish Soc Steve Readings, W L C , S C C , Int Week of H u m a n Rights P. Wagle, Catholic Society Chris W e b b , C o n S o c
Tony Haines
Pat Kilshaw
Carrie Craig
Athletics C o l o u r s 1981/82 Badminton Full Colours
Association Football P S K G R D M
Full Colours ' Niccolls ( E O ) Ward (RA) Reeve ( R A ) Rickard ( R A ) Wiggins Dean Carr
M S A S A D J D
Half Colours Curwan (RA) Rimmer Page Dunhill Williams Elsby Lay Griffiths
I Bull ( E O ) G Adamson P Smith S Ridd H K Wong (RA) B Ions ( R A )
Basketball Full Colours T Kakas (EO) J Pooley
Boardsailing Full Colours A Grimshaw (EO) N Ajderian Half Colours
Half Colours M Talbut
C Liles
Cross Country L A A N C S L
Half Colours H o r r o c k s (RA) L a i (RA) Mitchell ( R A ) Campbell Muffet Willis Yap
Boat Full Colours J U r r y (EO) T Joslin J Park Half Colours M Pritchard T Luker
Full Colours P Hoodsworth (EO) T Asteraides Half Colours R J A C
Weston Frost Britton Walton
Fencing Full Colours P Bird (EO) M Spottiswoods J Buckley
A G S P S
Half Colours Davies Pike Bell Verity Thompson
Half Colours G Bartlett P Baines Golf Full Colours N Windsor (EO) Half Colours A Black M Doddington Ladies Hockey Full Colours C B r o w n (EO) Hal) Colours A S K R
Wall Malbard Barnett Mason
S B A J T
Full Colours G r a y (EO) Franklin Stroomer F Clarke (EO) A Coastesworth (RA)
C R A T A G S L
Half Colours Jones Slatter Whitehead Mitchell Rao Ayers (RA) Bell (RA) Hancox
Sailing Full Colours G Butler ( E O ) G Kennedy P Mills M J J F, G
Half Colours Younghusband (RA) Redman (RA) Bennet Tostevin Dalton Ski
Full Colours K Palmer (EO) Half Colours W Steen Sporting Motor Cycle
Hockey
Full Colours B Haye (EO) Squash Full Colours J Pelton (EO) J Spinks R Jefferies Half Colours L Daneshmend P Robinson
Half Colours G Shields C Weedon T Stockings Karate Full Colours S Carey (EO)
Kung F u Full Colours C Earle (EO) Half Colours
Y o u are eligible to become a Life M e m b e r of the Imperial College U n i o n if: (a) Y o u have been a Full M e m b e r of the U n i o n for at least one complete academic year, or (b) Y o u have been a research assistant and a member of the Senior C o m m o n Room for at least one complete academic year, or (c) Y o u are a member of the academic staff. or (d) Y o u are a member of the administrative staff and are qualified to degree status (such an application to be subject to the approval of Council), or (e) Y o u have been a member of the College staff for a period of not less than five years (such an application to be subject to the approval of Council). A Life M e m b e r is allowed to use all the facilities and amenities provided by the U n i o n , with the exception that they shall not participate in the government or representation of the U n i o n in any capacity or to vote in or take any part in any election of officers or committee members of the U n i o n in any capacity. A Life M e m b e r shall have speaking rights at General Meetings of the U n i o n and, at the discretion of the Chairman of the Committee, at any other U n i o n Committee. The facilities are the use of all the student c o m m o n room areas in the U n i o n , Sherfield Building and Southside; the Billiards and Snooker and Table Tennis rooms, and to join U n i o n clubs and societies. A t no time shall a Life M e m b e r be eligible for any form of subsidy from the U n i o n or its clubs a n d societies. The College also allows Life Members to use the Sports Centre and the bars and refectories. It should be noted that Life M e m b e r s bringing guests into the U n i o n B a r must sign them in. S u c h guests shall be restricted to two per Life Member. The L y o n Playfair Library and departmental libraries may be used for reference only. B o o k s may be borrowed from the Haldane Library (if living within the Greater L o n d o n area).
FEES F o r section (a) (i) T h e subscription is £12.00 for ex-students at any time after completion of at least three academic years. (ii) F o r those who d o not complete three academic years the subscription is £15.00. F o r sections (b). (c). (d). and (e) the subscription is £25.00.
Half Colours M Casini C Garton M Burnett Table Tennis
J A N U A R Y 1982
Full Colours C Nicolaides (EO) Half Colours N Grimwood J Blount P Wilson T e n Pin Bowling
Half Colours K Toary P Barry B Walker
LIFE M E M B E R S H I P
Swimming Full Colours B Ashwin (EO) J Boucher R Leach
Judo Full Colours M P Johnson (EO) A Kellagher K Stevenson
IMPERIAL C O L L E G E U N I O N PRINCE C O N S O R T R O A D , S O U T H K E N S I N G T O N L O N D O N SW7 2BB
R A W M
Full Colours Cook (EO) M c M i l l o n (RA) Man Hamson Half Colours
M Smith C Wells
FILL IN THIS P A G E IN B L O C K C A P I T A L S
N A M E IN F U L L PERMANENT ADDRESS.
I wish to become a Life M e m b e r of Imperial College U n i o n (fill in section a, b, c, d, or e). ***•*•**•*•********•*****•*•*•*••*•***•*•+* Present address
'
Trampoline
C Doyle G Harris
Full Colours K H a n s o n (EO) Rifle and Pistol
D N G A
Full Colours Sleath (EO) Lindsay Smith Jolleys
T K T S
Half Colours Briers (RA) Parmar Higgs Considine Ladies Rugby
Full Colours M Harrington (EO) Rugby Full Colours A Warby (EO) W K i ng J Austin G Fazakerley
Volleyball Full Colours P Walker (EO) P Ronge A Green Half Colours P Dias-Lalcaca M Lam Weights Full Colours P Richards (EO) J Davies
(a) I was a student from in the department of
to
(b) I was a research assistant, and a member of the Senior C o m m o n R o o m . in the department of
<c) I a m a member of the academic staff, appointed to the post of in the department of with effect from
(d) I a m a member of the administrative staff, appointed to the post of with effect from I was a student at between and
M I a m a member of the College staff, appointed to the post of with effect from
Yacht Full Colours J S Manning (EO) P Adams (RA) Half Colours P Mills P Caiger-Smith
k•+*•**** I enclose a subscription of SIGNED DATE