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O p e n at Last!
F R E M A N T L E II
Bad Guy Makes Good
The Adventure Continues
The B o t / Z o o Common Room tea service reopened for business last Monday after ten months closure. Professor Wood, Head of the Biology Department, said that he is now able to redistribute departmental funds to allow two half-time appointments to be made. This week the service has been make a profit on the running open in the mornings only but, costs of the tea room which will from next week there will be an go some way towards covering afternoon service as well. the labour costs. The future of the tea room is The tea room closed last M a r c h when the College freeze still in doubt, however. The extra are only on recruitment left the depart- a p p o i n t m e n t s ment too short staffed to run the temporary and last until 31 July, service. Last term there was a when the provision of the tea growing campaign to have it re- service will again be reviewed in opened led by T i m Wilson, Life the light of next session's Sciences Dep Rep and Ian departmental budget. Professor French, Assistant Departmental W o o d ends his term as head of Supervisor, with the support of department this summer so the F E L I X . Professor W o o d had new head, Prof R M Anderson, been insisting that the service will have to decide if the service continue into the next could only re-open if it were self- can financing, but he has now session. Prof Anderson is known d r o p p e d t h i s c o n d i t i o n . to be sympathetic to the cause of However, the cost of tea and the tea room, having signed a coffee has been increased to lOp petition last term calling for it to so the department is expected to be reopened.
A new warden has been appointed at the Fremantle Hotel without the post being advertised or interviews being held. The appointment of Nick James, previously one of the Fremantle subwardens, to replace Andrew Walker (who resigned last term) was approved by Union President Gaynor Lewis on the recommendation of Student Services Officer Michael Arthur. M r James' post of subwarden his accommodation, which made has been filled by M a r k Green, it difficult for him to do any who was also appointed without academic work. However, it the post being advertised alseems that his position will not be though he had been interviewed filled for the time being, which previously for a different post. will mean that the number o f The other subwarden post, wardens in the Fremantle has originally occuped by Ruby T a n , now dropped from four to two. Andrew Walker's live-in girlMiss Lewis claimed that the friend, is to remain vacant. It n o r m a l p r o c e d u r e for the seems the post was only created appointment of wardens and in the first place to prevent any subwardens was not followed official embarrassement over the because there was insufficient fact that they weren't married. time (the same excuse used when
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Meanwhile, Nigel Simmons, the Fremantle assistant subwarden, has resigned his post. This resignation appears to be unconnected with recent events at the Fremantle with M r Simmons giving his reason for resignation as the low standard of
Andrew Walker was appointed) and there had been interviews held for other posts earlier so anyone interested in applying • would presumably have applied on a previous occasion and been turned down. However, the fact continued on page 3
Students get off lightly
Tony Collier looking relieved after he was let off with a At last the tea room is back in operation with tea, coffee and biscuits conditional discharge after playing cops and robbers being served between 10:00-ll:00am each day. 'shooting people' with a toy cap pistol. Full story page 3. FELIX, 13 January, 1984 • • • • • • • • • • • • • • F r e e . ' No 662 • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • H I
Union Slush Fund Dear Sir You state in the Editorial of the Christmas issue that 'Sundry Expenses' in the Union budget is "basically the President's slush fund...do with what she wants to." That is the kind of misrepresentation which the Union could do without. A m o n g the larger sums debited to this item recently are: £300—subscription to London Student; £218—hire of tables for Freshers' Fair; and £88— transport for Silwood students to Freshers' Day. This term's Union officer elections will take at least £250; and the cost of sending you on a typing course at the start of the .session was £96. The merits or otherwise of such items can be argued, but they are evidently not the waggons of some presidential gravy train. F o r its outlay on the F E L I X editorship (well over £5,000pa) and the total cost of FELIX (around £30,000pa), the Union should receive fairer and more accurate comment, both on finance and other topics. Yours faithfully Ken Weak Hon Treasurer IC Union
•Letter5-fo.fhe-ty^or. Department Priorities
NAT WEST BUNK
Dear Pallab I feel that it is about time there was some debate in F E L I X about the low priority some lecturers give to undergratduates. Many students have had tutorials cancelled or have been unable to find their laboratory supervisor because the member of staff is working on his research. This is encouraged by the promotion system that usually rewards good research and not good teaching ability. Maybe there should be some form of bonus for the good teachers. I am not saying that all our courses are not of a high standard, just that they could be improved. Yours H Southey
Dear Editor Since arriving at Imperial I have been amazed at the low standard of service in what appears to be one of England's foremost banks, the National Westminster. This bank is allowed to occupy a privileged position on campus, and many students open accounts with the branch for this reason alone. Apart from student accounts, the NatWest also seems to get all the other College and Union banking business. In return for this, they give ordinary students a service which is inefficient, reluctant, forgetful, unenthusistic and even indiscreet. Let me quote my experiences at Edinburgh University for comparison. Edinburgh has twice as many students as Imperial, spread over two sites. There are four branches of the three major Scottish banks and three automatic cash machines. On these statistics, NatWest should have at least one on-site competitor, perhaps in the Union Building or Southside. When I was at Edinbrugh, I was fortunate enough to be a client of the Clydesdale Bank, where I found quick, friendly, efficient and enthusiastic service. In addition, the Clydesdale is one of the most modern banks in the country: the Autobank" cash dispensing system allows customers to pay in cheques and transfer money inside the bank using their cashcard and without the need for the mess of form-filling which the NatWest seems to delight in.
Boozing All Hours
Sir It would appear that the opening hours of the Union Ed's Note: Any one of the three sabbaticals can authorise expen- Office are in something of a diture from the sundries account decline. For two afternoons, without any student or studentjust after the end of last term, committee knowing about it: not anyone trying to make use of even the Union Finance Commit- the place found it locked. Of tee which is the elected student course, I am sure that the body supposedly responsible for considerable quantities of wine Union expenditure. All other clubconsumed in there during these and CCU expenditure is scru- afternoons were not purchased at the Union's expense. pulously monitored, why on N Shackley earth should the Union Office be an exception? The offical line is that the sundries account is there to add a little 'flexibility' into the Union accounting system. Most of the expenditure is without doubt quite valid and legitimate. Nevertheless it is open to abuse. You know as well as I do. Ken, Dear Pallab that the amount spent on so I wonder if any of your called 'entertainments' in the readers have noticed the resemUnion Office last year ran well blance between C & G President into three figures. M i k e Stewart and actress Lilly I don't know what you'd call it, Langtry. Is there any relationbut I'd call it a slushfund. That is ship. I think we should be told. the kind of misappropriation the Yours sincerely Union could do without. Matt Smith
FELIX Look-Alike Contest
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Lillie LcmQtry
Friday, 13 January, 1984
Naturally, as Alternative Prospectus Editor, I intend to provide information and advice on banking for prospective freshers. If anyone has any comments, views or experiences with the NatWest or any other bank, I will be pleased to hear them, messages can be left c/o the F E L I X Office. Yours faithfully Diane Love Physics PG Alternative Prospectus Editor
Arrogant IC Dear Pallab The question of sending visitors from Imperial College to the N U S conference raises wider issues than whether the expenditure of £200 of Union money is justified. Whether we like it or not, N U S makes decisions which affect students at Imperial College. Although we may choose to remain unaffiliated to N U S , it surely makes sense to at least reopen the dialogue with them. Nothing is to be gained from an arrogant "they can't help us" type attitude.Delegates from many colleges with differing opinions and ideas attend the conference, and discussion of issues of far more immediate concern to students than national politics takes place. By deciding not to send visitors to the conference, IC Union has wasted a golden opportunity to learn from these discussions. The cost of sending visitors to Blackpool amounts to less than 0.1% of the Union's subvention from College. Ironically, the money 'saved' is unlikely to be spent for the benefit of students. I suspect it will lie idle in the budgets set aside for campaigns and contingency funds, and remain unused. By refusing to send visitors to the N U S confs'-ence, Imperial College Union has lost a great deal of potential good will. For how much longer will we let our hearts rule our heads to our detriment? Yours sincerely Peter Burt
Mike Stuart FELIX
Frcmantlc continued from from page
remains that in the four terms the College has had the Fremantle H o t e l a t o t al of seven appointments have been made to the four posts that have existed at various times without any of the posts ever being advertised or interviews held. There is no regulation which states that any procedure must be followed, and in practice the appointments have all been made by the U n i o n President on the recommodation of Michael Arthur.
CCUs Slated
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The Constituent College Unions ( C C U s ) were described as 'ineffective organisations' by the Rag Committee Chairman, James Benbow, this week. Reaction was quick to come from the C C U s , with all three Vice-Presidents claiming that while they had arranged all last term's Rag events, M r Benbow had taken all the money for I C U Rag.
College Falling Down The College is unable to afford b a s i c m a i n t e n a n c e o n its buildings as a result of spending cuts according to the governors. As a result replacement of ageing lifts, heating systems, etc is being phased over several years, whilst general maintenance such as painting has virtually stopped. The problems at Imperial were a major part of a front cover story in the Times Higher Education S u p p l e m e n t recently, where increasing concern over ' c r u m b l i n g u n i v e r s i t i e s ' was highlighted. IC's governors are quoted as saying that 'insufficient r e s o u r c e s can be d e v o t e d generally to maintain premises to a proper standard'. T h e C o l l e g e is f i n d i n g it i n c r e a s i n g l y difficult to f i n d money for the replacement of w o r n out e q u i p m e n t and structures. Recent examples are
the long delay in replacing the telephone system and the difficulty in financing the repairs to the Electrical Engineering b u i l d i n g . A n d because o f financial constraints the Southside heating system has had to be replaced gradually over four years, ending this summer, whilst the cycle of periodic repainting of all buildings has been abandoned. The College is concentrating only on repairs necessary for health and safety reasons, but the result of this will be increasing u n r e l i a b i l i t y of building plant and general deterioration of structures. M r John Lauwerys, Senior Assistant Secretary, expressed concern that lack of maintenance would cause a danger of more expenditure in the f u t u r e as b u i l d i n g s deteriorated more rapidly.
Paid in Blood
April Showers?
G o r g e o u s G a y n o r L e w i s is m a k i n g s l o w p r o g r e s s i n her b i d to "get t h r o u g h C o u n c i l a l p h a b e t i c a l l y " . H e r e we are i n J a n u a r y a n d she's only got to B for B u l l ! R e p o r t s that C o u n c i l m e m b e r D H u g h S o u t h e y is h a v i n g his n a m e c h a n g e d b y d e e d p o l l to Z e b u l a Z . Z e d c a n n o t be c o n firmed o r -denied.
Bang, Bang You're Dead Three I C students appeared at the Crown Court in Preston last week, charged with assault. They were arrested while motoring to the Lake District last February after an incident involving a toy cap pistol, as reported in F E L I X no 637. When a lorry pulled out in front of them on the M 6 , one of the students wound down the car window and 'shot' the lorry driver. He reported a shooting incident to the police who later intercepted the car as it left the motorway. Carl Fairhurst, Tony Collier and Julian Barber, together with Martin White from Cambridge, were initially charged with a
breach of the peace. They subsequently appeared at Blackpool Magistrate's Court where they pleaded not guilty, and were committed for trial at the Crown Court. Charges against White, who was asleep when the incident occured, were later dropped and the charge against the other three was changed to assault. The three IC students appeared at Preston C r o w n C o u r t on 3 January when the case against Barber and Fairhurst was dismissed. Collier, who changed his plea to guilty, was given a 12 month conditional discharge. He receives no criminal record.
Buttering Them Up
Professor Ian Butterworth F R S was made a Commander of the British Empire in the recent The College has agreed to spend New Year's Honours list. The O n . Wednesday 11 January, £4000 installing showers for the citation noted Butterworth's conMary, the wooden leopard masvolleyball court in the old chemtribution to Physics at I C ; he has cot of Q M C Students' Union was istry building. T w o mens and two been Professor of Physics here returned to its rightful owners ladies showers will be installed in since 1971. after 22 months of tense and the existing changing rooms. His work at IC has involved sometimes bitter negotiation beThe room, a former lab, was research into Hadron Spectrotween them and R C S U who converted into a gym two years scopy and the application of the ago, but until now only basic purloined the model in M a r c h bubble chamber to strong and changing facilities have been 1982. weak interaction physics. Prof available. The job is expected to Butterworth, who was Head of The swap took place outside be started this term but, due to the Physics Department until Senate House in Bloomsbury, the lack of a hot water supply to 1983, is presently working at R C S U exchanging the leopard in the changing rooms, it is expected C E R N (the European centre for return for a receipt showing that to take longer than would nuclear research) in Geneva. Q M C students had donated over normally be the case for such an A l s o honoured was P r o f 80pts of blood in a special session installation. N o firm date for Richard Southwood, Linacre last term and cheque for £40. completion has been set. Professor of Zoology at Oxford, felix • • • • n n • H m ^ B N I Friday, 13 January, 1984f^M
and a Fellow of Merton College, who receives a knighthood. Sir Richard was Director of Silwood from 1967 to 1979 and Dean of R C S in 1971-2. H e has published numerous books and papers on entomological and ecological subjects. •
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WIN A FABULOUS PRIZE
' Y e s folks! F E L I X is s t a r t i n g its v e r y o w n s e n s a t i o n a l Brnqo Competition. A n d t h e r e ' s a f a b u l o u s w e e k e n d for t w o i n A m s t e r d a m t o b e w o n . It's got t o b e the Biggest Bingo Bonanza in South Kensington! A m o r o u s A m s t e r d a m has s o m e t h i n g f o r e v e r y o n e . A l l y o u c u l t u r e tans will b e able t o t o u r t h e w o r l d f a m o u s R i j k s m u s e u m o r visit the t h e a t r e s . • F o r the g o u r m e t s a m o n g y o u t h e e n o r m o u s H e i n e k e n brewery
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a b a sye° u for u r- p o fe o Hp o lllea'nsd .boutiques • asand l a^ t o p a t t r a c t i o n s f r ofind m topa s t a g i n g^ "ra rd i e tay m o f by street life e d V gd^ei rsL ferry and famous raunchy r red-light trict. • T h e l u c k y w i n n e r will travel to A m s t e r d a m b y ferry a n d s t a y at the conveniently s i t u a t e d C o k H o t e l all courtesy d
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FELIX
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On 17 November Sir Keith Joseph, Secretary of State for Education and Science, announced that £90m is going to be cut from the education budget over the next three years. Student grants will be increased by 4% next year. This is more than the public sector pay figure of 3%, however taking inflation into account it means that students will once again face a cut in their grants in real terms. Sir Keith also announced that the parental contribution scale is to be adjusted to increase contributions from those parents with residual incomes in the middle and upper reaches of the scale, and that the minimum grant is to be halved. 'Revised arrangements' for repayment of travelling costs are to be announced later. The effect of removing the travel allowance will be (or so the Government hopes) to induce students to live in their parents home and attend Colleges within reasonable distance to this.
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Sir Keith Joseph is committed to axing £ 9 0 m from the Education budget over the next three years, a questionnaire has been sent out to all universities to consider possible cuts in resources of 1-2% per student a year. In the first of a series of articles, Peter Burt examines the long term implications of these cuts and the effect they will have on you now. more remote parts of the country or travelled daily by tube into College, you would be expected to heavily subsidize the fares from your own pocket. What of the future? The Government is committed to maintaining a constant level of public expenditure until 1987, and this will probably mean that education spending will suffer in this period.
current contraction of the polytechnics. A major questionnaire from the University Grants C o m mittee (the body which, among other things, supervises the distribution of funds to the universities) recently asked the universities to consider the effects of possible future cuts in resources per student of l-2%pa, although Sir Keith Joseph has statea^j^j* there is no present int
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students in further education colleges receive no grant at a l l , and that mature students who may have to leave a job to take their course will have additional needs. Ideally the system of student financial support would eventually be reformed to encompass all these needs. However, there is obviously a major catch. A l l this would cost a lot of money. Given the general contempt with which students are held, neither the Government or electorate are likely to advocate spending money to increase student grants. A l l that we can do at present about this is to point out the importance of education d. the crucial need for highly graduates for the long
Why should I care? Future cuts in education spending are going to hurt you! They're going to reduce your grant, place your job at risk, eat away at your facilities and equipment. Young people (your brothers and sisters) hoping to go to college will find the door being slammed in their faces. Your parents will have to pay more for your education. And, in the long run, the economy will only suffer if people cannot cope with new technology. Unemployment and slower growth will mean a lower standard of living for you in the future. What does this mean to^students? If you receive full grant, you will only receive an extra £80 in next year's grant. This works out at less than 30p more per day. Those students whose parents have a residual income of more than about £12,000pa (about 50% of students at IC) will have to sponge even more money from them than at present. Perhaps the most alarming aspect of Sir Keith's statement is his plan to change the method of meeting our additional travel costs. It is widely expectded that the present method of full repayment will be replaced by a flat rate travel allowance. This would mean that if, for instance, you lived in one of the FELIXl
to implement such a policy.* M r Peter Brooke, the Minister Such politics would nardly responsible for Higher Education increase educational opportunihas told students that 'the ties or the quality of education hatches are battened down' and it received by students. They may would be 'wholly incorrect' for also force universities to increase students to expect significant hall and refectory charges to a improvements in living standards greater degree than otherwise, in the future. M r Brooke 'recogand introduce library fees and nises the illegality and unfairness suchlike, thus hitting students' of the parental contribution pockets even harder. system' but, as we have seen, has no plans for phasing it out. The alternative Furthermore, the Department of Few students would object if Education and Science has not their grants were to be increased yet considered possible transfer to a realistic level and maintained of funds from other Government at this level. In the eyes of the law, departments and administrative students over the age of 18 are savings to offset the cost of any independent adults, and it would seem reasonable to reflect this by improvements. A l l this must be seen in the gradually abolishing the parental light of possible cutbacks for the contribution. We must also reuniversities themselves following member that a great many I Friday, 13 January, 19841
term economic well-being of the country. What can I do? This term, Imperial College Union will be running a campaign directed towards putting our case about grants and education policy over. We hope to organise a letter-writing campaign to M P s , possibly supported by other events to demonstrate our concern. Y o u can participate by writing to your M P (details from I C U Office), telling your parents and other interested parties what it means to them, and finding out more by participating in any events organised. \Page 5
The game of draughts
D r a u g h t s T h i s t e r m there will be a w e e k l y draughts p r o b l e m , b a s e d o n the w e e k l y c o l u m n i n t he E d i n b u r g h E v e n i n g N e w s b y J . L o v e . T o get y o u s t a r t e d this w e e k , t h e r e is a s a m p l e p r o b l e m a n d s o l u t i o n . T h i s p r o b l e m was c o m p o s e d by J o e C h a r l e s of W r e x h a m . T h e p r o b l e m for y o u t o s o l v e o n y o u r o w n is a l s o b y J o e C h a r l e s a n d the solution will appear with next week's p r o b l e m . G o o d luck!
It's not as easy as you think! I expect most people already know the rules of draughts, but in case you never learned to play, or need to be reminded, here they are. Draughts is played on the dark squares of the board, but for clarity the problems are shown with the pieces on the white squares. The playing squares are numbered from 1 to 32 as shown in fig. I. A t the start, black occupies squares 1 to 8 with single pieces and white has squares 25 to 32. Singles are only allowed to move forward in diagonal steps of one (like a pawn's capturing move in chess). However, singles capture a piece by j u m p i n g o v e r it (not l a n d i n g o n it) providing that there is a clear square to land on. If, after capture, there is another piece which can be captured, that is taken too. In fact, the player must capture any piece which he can take. (In the event of a player having two pieces which can both capture opposing pieces, he is allowed to choose which one to move.) When a single reaches the far side of the board (squares 1 to 4 for white-this is known as black's crownhead) the single is crowned with another single, and becomes a king. The king can move forwards or b a c k w a r d s in diagonal onesteps. The object, of course, is to capture all your opponents' pieces. In the solutions, each move is written with the starting and finishing positions joined by a dash, eg 1-5. However, this may involve
zigzagging round the board, capturing lots of pieces in one m o v e . P r o b l e m s with solutions which involve lots of capturing are called strokes. There are also problems which end in forced stalemates. Finally, do not despair if you have no draughts pieces; use chess pawns as singles and other chess pieces as kings. Have fun!
Draughts (also known as checkers in the US) is a game often thought to be trivially easy by people who have played it, but know little about it. The fact that it is much simpler than chess does not detract from the fact that it is a challenging and subtle game when played at top level. Reports of computer programs that have draughts completely analysed have been disproved by draughts experts. Interest in draughts is worldwide and a c t i v i t y is e q u a l l y d i v i d e d b e t w e e n tournaments and the invention and solution of problems. A s with chess, problems can involve starting positions which are unlikely to arise in play, but the s o l u t i o n s are ingenious and entertaining.
Sample problem
This week's problem
Black: 12, 14, 25; Kings: 15, 19. White: 8, 11, 29; Kings: 1, 22. White to move and win. Solutions and all correspondence to FELIX Office by Wednesday 1pm.
Black: 1, 2, 4, 5, 13, 26; Ks 23, 32. White: 11, 15, 18, 24, 27,30; Ks 10, 14. White to move and win. Solution 11-7, 2-11, 15-8, 4-11, 18-15, 11-18, 14-17, 13-22, 24-19, 23-16, 30-14, 322 3 , 14-9, 5-14, 1 0 - 1 2 , ( r o u n d the board), white wins.
Fabulous Prize Randomly selected winner gets a free cocktail in the Southside Bar!
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Friday, 13 January, 1984
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FELIX
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£ 3 0 PRIZE G o on, make a pig of yourself at the Fellows Dinner (2 Feb). More food and drink than you can possibly manage at a cost to students of £8 per head (£3 subsidy). Get tickets while they last from the Union Office (closing date Wed 25 Jan).
for the best contribution (as judged by the Phoenix Editor) Not later than Friday 27 January 1984
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AIDIS
SlMlAlLlL FOR S A L E • P i a n o £60. B u y e r to c o l l e c t . C o n t a c t J Dix 223 4258. • M u s i c C e n t r e c o s t £90 new. will s e l l for £ 5 0 o n o . H R o z , E l e c E n g p i g e o n holes or Rayleigh H o u s e . •Mini-Component Hi-Fi Sanyo C - 3 , . N a t i o n a l J 5 0 0 (with t u r n t a b l e ) , p r i c e negotiable. T a n g , Mines. • S k i M e r i b e l over the N e w Y e a r . D u e to s o m e o n e pulling out I have one c h e a p p l a c e to sell q u i c k l y . C h a l e t a c c o m m o d a t i o n , large m i x e d g r o u p a n d as m u c h w i n e a s y o u c a n d r i n k ) . Interested? P h o n e P h i l i p S m i t h o n 994 2121. W A N T E D • T a l e n t e d g u i t a r i s t s i n t e r e s t e d in p l a y ing rock m u s i c . J o n C l i p s h a m , C h e m E n g 1. • If y o u w a n t b a c k i s s u e s of N e w
Scientist (26 N o v 1981—19 M a y 1983) pleast c o n t a c t S J a i n , M a t h s P G . A C C O M M O D A T I O N • F l a t s h a r e : 2 p e o p l e w a n t e d to s h a r e a d o u b l e r o o m in a flat in H a m l e t G d n s ( R a v e n s c o u r t P a r k ) , rent £20.50pw plus bills. C o n t a c t M a r k H u d s o n , M e c h E n g l e t t e r - r a c k s o r 748 3655. • P e r s o n w a n t e d to s h a r e flat a p p l y flat 209. 748 3655. • D o u b l e r o o m in flat 210 H a m l e t G d n s available beginning next term. £20.50pw e a c h a n d bills. C o n t a c t M H u d s o n ( B B ) M e c h E n g 3. • W a n t e d : 1 g i r l for flatshare wit h 2 l a d s , 1 g i r l . S h a r e d r o o m £ 2 4 p w N e x t to West B r o m p t o n tube, F u l h a m . S K i n g , E E l e t t e r - r a c k s , S F y l e s . Met & Mat S c i . • S h a r e d C o l l e g e a c c o m m o d a t i o n 81 L e x h a m G d n s . £23pw e x c l u d i n g bills. Female applicant only. Please contact Miranda Bellchambers, Mech Eng 2 or 373 1968.
FELIX [
P E R S O N A L • T h e B r a z i l i a n F a i r will not n o w take p l a c e o n 14 J a n . • H a s S i m o n B a n t o n g o n e off D a i H e a d • R i c h c o n f i r m e d b a c h e l o r , 62 wit h T V tendencies and own microwave, seeks s u b m i s s i v e partner ( 2 1 » ) . 8 m m f i l m essential. • H a s D a i H e a d g o n e off s h e a p a n d started o n c h i c k e n s n o w ? • Q : W h a t is f e m i n i n e , has 22 legs , k i c k s a n d lives in S o u t h s i d e ? A : Falmouth Keogh Ladies Football t e a m c h a l l e n g e the w o r l d . D a r e y o u oppose us? Contact J o A n d e r s o n . C h e m 2. • A n y o n e k n o w i n g the d i f f e r e n c e b e t w e e n a w a g o o n a n d a w i g o o n (or v i c e versa) p l e a s e c o n t a c t S i m o n N i e l d . • R e t i r e d m i c r o w a v e e n g i n e e r offers technical translations from G e r m a n a n d F r e n c h into E n g l i s h . P h o n e 907 7136, •Dissertations, T h e s e s , C V s etc typed a n d p r e s e n t e d in a p r o f e s s i o n a l m a n ner. F u r t h e r e n q u i r i e s 567 0972. • G r e y j u m p e r with r a i n b o w s t r i p e s awaiting collection from U n i o n Office. • D r M a l c o m P i k e , Imperial C a n c e r R e s e a r c h , R a d c l i f f e Infirmary o n ' R i s k of B r e a s t C a n c e r a n d T h e P i l l ' in the M a t h s L T 2 1 3 at 1:30pm on T u e s 17 J a n u a r y 1984. • D a v e H o p k i n s , w h o is n o w in W a r d F. West 7 of the n e w C h a r i n g C r o s s H o s p i t a l . H a m m e r s m i t h , w o u l d like to say hello to all his f r i e n d s in C h e m E n g . • S t a m p s for the C o l l e g e D a y N u r s e r y : P l e a s e s a v e any f o r e i g n s t a m p s f r o m y o u r C h r i s t m a s mail f r o m o v e r s e a s a n d s e n d t h e m to S u e T h o r n e t t in the C o l l e g e D a y N u r s e r y . B y s e l l i n g fore i g n s t a m p s the D a y N u r s e r y r a i s e s m o n e y to b u y t o y s for the c h i l d r e n . T h a n k y o u to all t h o s e w h o r e g u l a r l y save s t a m p s for us.
to'Phoenix do the Felix Office
The
British F I R S T
Red A I D
Cross
Society
C O U R S E
commences M o n d a y
16
January
6pm i n the
f f l f j
Holland
O p e n to a l l staff a n d
L
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C o l o u r
Club students.
D y s l e x i c ? B l i n d ?
The Vision Research Group is carrying out research into dyslexia, amblyopia and defective colour vision. If you suspect you have any of the above we would like to see you. Maybe you could help us with a few interesting and P A I D experiments contact Isobel Blythe or Jane Bromley, Room 714, Biophysics Section, Blackett Lab (Physics). Internal 2995.
^Friday, 13 January, 19841
IPage 7
C l u b s W E S T
L O N D O N
NIGHTLINE 0 1 - 5 8 1
2 4 6 8
Sex, Drugs and V D A n d other attention-grabbing headlines. I hope everybody out there had a marvelous Christmas and New Year and that you're going to have a wonderul rest of term. If you think you are, do you think that you could spare one night every three or four weeks to help other people? Nightline training sessions for prospective volunteers begin during the second week of term, and if you think you would like to help, please phone in any evening on 581 2468 or internal 2468 (add an 0 first if phoning from a staircase phone). Will it make you go blind? Contrary to popular belief, Nightline volunteers do not spend their nights talking to people standing on 10th floor window ledges with a rope around their neck and a bottle of cyanide tablets in their hand. M o s t o f our calls are simple information calls—what time is the last tube to Russell Square? C a n you tell me if there's a Chinese restaurant in Bayswater? What's the phone number of Garden Hall? Although there is about one 'serious' call each night, on average. A load of old cobblers Far too many people assume Nightline is only for depressed people. It isn't! We have extensive information files and although, obviously some volunteers are more adept at using them than others, we can still usually at least attempt to answer any query you can throw at us (although we do get a bit tired of the midnight call, with giggling in the backgroud and a false voice asking for the address of secondhand contraceptive salesmen). In conclusion Please use our service more—it makes us feel wanted! If you want to help, phone or drop in soon—we're in the basement of 9 Princes Gardens (Northside), 6pm-8am. Chris Brannick Nightline Director
Dramsoc The major production this term is 'The Life and Time of Gallileo' by Bertholt Brecht translated by H o w a r d Brenton (of 'Romans in Britain' fame). Auditions will be on Sunday (meet at 2:30pm in the Dramsoc Store, up the stairs past the Union Office). Parts are open to anyone so if you acted last term or want to this term then please attend; the play has a large cast of both males and females. Concerning other matters, the Wednesday afternoon workshops will continue this term under the guidance of Dave Simmons—all are welcome. There will be some more theatre trips during the term too. Finally, the lighting of E N T S events and parties continues apace and if this interests you at all—experienced or not—then pop up to the Storeroom and have a chat. Page 8
Debsoc Firstly, there is an important meeting on Monday at 1:00pm in U n i o n S C R . We intend to finalise the term's programme of events so if anyone is interested in speaking then they must attend. A l s o , the society is to enter a team into the Observer Mace competition; if anyone—preferably with some experience is interested then come along on Monday. If anyone is interested in helping with the organistion of the society or arranging speakers then they would be most welcome. By Easter we start writing to potential speakers and we need ideas for motions and the speakers. So if you have any ideas, are interested in meeting the personalities the society gets to debate then come along and have a chat on Monday. Just as an appetiser to events coming up, I'll mention the debate on trade and cultural links with South Africa. Supporting South Africa will be John Carlisle M P with a former IC Union and N U S President Trevor Phillips opposing. Trevor Phillips currently produces Channel 4's Black On Black programme. This event is in a couple of weeks time. There will be full details in the preceeding week's FELIX.
AstroSoc Next Tuesday is our second lecture this term and as usual free entry to members (30p to non-members). A l l are welcome to attend at 6:30pm in Physics L T 2 (please arrive before this!). D r I Wilson will talk on 'The interaction of O B stars with the interstellar medium' (phew). A n y suggestions are welcome (polite ones preferable) for future events. P Moore
Liberal Club Does Imperial College need N U S ? D o students need representation by a national body? Does N U S fulfill this representational role? If it doesn't, what can we do to make it? (Does anyone care?-Ed.) Confused? Y o u will be if you come to the Lounge above Southside Bar, this Tuesday at 7:30pm where these and other questions will be discussed.
Singapore Glad to see you make it back for this term. Several things are in the offing, not least the Annual Dinner on 3 Feb at the International Hotel. This is bound to make Mooney dinners look like British Rail on a particularly poor day. Tickets for this cost £ 12.50 and are available from the office or officers. Some time next week there will be an Ents theatre trip so keep your ears and eyes peeled. On tomorrow evening there is to be the great, traditional, 3-legged R C S U Rag pubcrawl, where we go round (in pairs—shock!) and collect in the pubs and then attempt to count the money afterwards. (What happens if one of a mixed pair wants to go to the loo?-Ed.) On Tuesday 17 we have a joint Rag/Ents Committee at 1pm above Southside Bar to discuss this term's events. Anyone is welcome but it is imperitive that all Soc Reps attend. Start training for the 22nd when the beer bursts forth from the New Year Barnight. 7:30—God knows when. (Union Bar.) Some things which ought to be present somewhere in your mind are the R C S U elections of President, Vice President, H o n o r rary Secretary, Honorary Junior Treasurer and Assistant Honorary Secretary which take place in the latter half of February; also the famed Ents trip to Amsterdam after the end of term. See Dave Watson for more details. Finally, M r Gareth Fish tells me that if the weather is clement then Jez will be going pumping on the 15th. Meet round the garage or find him first in the office; and also Simon Banton our Broadsheet editor would adore help in the office on the 18th to prepare the next issue. DP the VP Friday. 13 January,
Happy New Year to all. We have lined up an ice-skating trip on Wednesday 18 January at the Queen's in Bayswater. A l l those interested please meet outside the F E L I X Office at 1:00pm on that day. If you have not received our newsletter, please be informed that we have 20 places (on 1st come 1st served basis) for our Chinese New Year Dinner on Friday 3 February. A l l cheques (£4) asap to Peter Gwee (Physics 2). We require players for the coming six-aside football competition on 4 February against other universities. A l l levels of skills welcomed, names to Peter Gwee (Physics 2). There will also be a Chinese New Year Party at the J C R on 4 February. F o o d , disco and a chance to meet Singapore students in U K . £1 cheque only asap to M i n g Tan ( M e t / M a t 2).
¥0) T w a s brillig & the slithy t o v e s D i d gyre & gimble i n the w a b e A l l m i m s y w e r e the b o r o g r o v e s & the m o m e raths o u t g r a b e . B e w a r e the j a b b e r w o c k , m y s o n T h e jaws that s n a t c h , the c l a w s that catch B e w a r e the jubjub b i r d & s h u n T h e furious b a n d e r s n a t c h .
J Wocky [FELIX
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I'm living to turn the Sports Page into something more like the sports page of a iii'wsfibtpcr, as I have received overwhelming evidence lhat people only read articles from their own clubs! So, here are a few guidelines: 1. The result and brief summary of the match should be in the first paragraph. 2. l u l l names and positions should be included when referring to a person. (No Icam lists though!) 3. There arc to be no ' i n ' references or accounts of alter match piss-ups. 4. Read a paper's sports pages (eg the Dai/v Mirror) to see how reports should be written. Read The Sun to see how they shouldn't be written. Any reports not in the above form will be thrown away! (Unless I've written them!) Outright silliness is still very welcome, provided it's funny. There is a new weight training facility in Southside consisting of 'free weights'. A n y student wishing to make use of this please go and see Ian Bull this lunchtime, or on Monday lunchtime, in the Union Office, so that some instruction can be arranged. Now for this week's rubbish.
U A U S E Regional Volleyball Championships The day began at an unearthly 7:00am at S Ken tube station where the conscientious members of Imperial Mens and Ladies Volleyball teams assembled. Certain members of the teams who decided this was far too early (or more likely slept in) met up at Liverpool Street at 8:20 and still managed to arrive at Univ of Essex (Colchester) before the majority of the early birds. The newly formed Ladies Team, present at their first major competition and playing against more experienced and skillful opposition started nervously losing their first two games quite easily. However, in their final game of a tournament reclined in length by withdrawals the team put up stiff resistance (aided by vociferous support from the men) before going down to*eventual winners: the Univ of Kent, 15-6, 15-10. The men on the other hand had a much more successful day. Playing in a group of only 3 teams Imperial qualified for the semifinals (to be held the following day) by beating Essex 15-6/16-4 and Sussex 15-8/152. Awards for 'best performances' during the day go to: 1. A n d y for the undivided attention he gave to the N o 2 of the Kent Ladies team (more of her next week). 2. Christos for his impression of a ballet dancer ie splits and dying swan impersonation. 3. The mens team for their impersonation of Hot Gossip. Day two of this exciting saga (with piccies of N o 2) will appear next week! FELIX
Football Mens 1 vs U C won 9-0 Mixed 1 vs Kings won 5-4 K O C u p vs R H C won 11-0 The men's match was ridiculously easy. Even Ian and John won all three games comfortably. This was quite an achievment as they spent the whole time insulting each other, which is exactly what they do off court in there other roles as A C C Chairman and Vice Chairman. Dominic Demento, the Club nutter, terrorised the opposition with his on-court war dance routine, and this, I feel, played a major part in their downfall. Mixed 1 can't seem to win convincingly, probably because I haven't played for them yet. A heroic performance from Miranda won the day, apparently that's what she tells me anyway. IC v Kings won 5-4 A n excellent game of badders at Elephant and Castle, what old chap? Negotiated the tube—one change somewhere on the blue coloured line and under the silver Tardis box to the red coloured amenities centre. Jane equipped with silver baubles in her hair, Miranda not drunk from wine tasting for a change, and Janet, as ever, in full battle combat of purple legwarmers and blue eyeshadow. The three guys also came. So we met our opposition from Kings College— Hengis the Horrible (the one who was 6ft l i n , built like a Weetabix kid and 10 tons of fuzzy hair) was there with her partner Ivan the Terrible, a nondescript pair plus their number one pair who weren't bad—they play at U L U and County level sometimes. Both Janet and Nigel and Jane and Lee lost against the latter—but Miranda admirably partnered by Stephen, although losing the first game, managed to claw their way to 13 all in the second, where they played to 5 and won 1814. Unfortunately they lost the third and final game, but we won't mention that! So, in allgemeinen, ein sehr gutes Spiel, viel SpaB, und hoffentlich konnen wir, daB heifJt I C , alles winnen, nicht wahr? Wunderbar, Ja! Viel Dank an Janet, Jane, Miranda, Stephen, Nigel und Lee! Sehen wir uns noch ein mal.
Several friendly matches, some against U C will be played tomorrow (14th). A n y players who have not yet ticked off please do so asap. 3rd XI First the good news: IC3 are third in T o p Division 1R. Now the bad news: Training for all players interested restarts next Tuesday (17th). A n y of the thirds squad who wish to possess a league or cup winners medal (including me) will increase this possibility by turning up to as many 'sessions' as possible. Several post Christmas pots have been sighted already amongst former sporting gentlemen of the thirds. This can not continue—you have been war Finally I would like to thank all the many people who played for (and supported) the thirds last season especially John Barden, Torsten Behling and Dave Griffiths whose collective organisational assistance was i n valuable. The season's remaining league fixtures are as follows: Wed 18 Jan A Bed 2 Sat 21 Jan A R F H Wed 1 Feb H Golds 3 Sat 4 Feb A Q M C IV Wed 8 Feb H R F H Wed 15 Feb A Guys Sat 25 H Bed 2 Cup Fixtures Sat 11 Feb N Kings 2 or U C I V (Semi) Sat 10 March N ? (Final)
L S E 20 I C 16 Imperial maintained their abysmal away record on Wednesday by losing to another strong but ????? side. The afternoon started surprisingly well with Biggies the N a v i g a t o r successfully tracking down the elusive L S E ground. The Tchiiss LSE's tactic of wearing the same colour as the (This is the first badminton article not writtenopposition was also thwarted as Imperial by me in a long time. Thanks Miranda! The restwere recognisable partly because of their of you are all lazy getsl-Sports Ed) expensive new socks and partly because they were the team consistently receiving bad We've had a pretty dodgy first term really, lineout ball and being pushed off their own with things not looking as good as last season. ball in the s c r u m . Despite the setbacks Still, we're in the knockout cup semi-finals, Imperial scored the first try but in the second and should win four or five of the six leagues half L S E gained a strong lead (being naturally that we're in. There's still not much strong on their left wing) and it was only sheer enthusiasm for playing in matches, though, grit, determination and fluke which enabled and those who have been enthusiastic have Imperial to get back into the game when been rewarded by getting injured, or bored M a r k H a s s e l k i c k e d t wo p e n a l t i e s i n with playing too much. succession and Jan Wiur scored under the Now for the good news: the badminton posts after a well timed interception by John tour to Dublin is on for the weekend of 11 Gillees. Thus motivated, Imperial four up a February. Names to one of the committee as strong show in the last ten minutes but time soon as possible if you're vaguely interested. was not on their side and the disappionting It doesn't matter what standard you are as it performance ended with an unnecessary should be possible for them to raise teams of defeat. matching standards. Friday, 13 January, 1984
Page 9
IC 1 X V 9 Esher U21 15 Despite the apparent sJjgrtgJie of players on the coach a full team was eventually fielded against a very large U21 side. The game anthemed the return of M Windsor in a new role as stand-off. Despite the lack of familiarity with the position Windsor produced a competent performance the highlight of which was a well wotked drop goal which brought Jason close rer fears. Other fine performances stemmed frorn Pete Hagger and Simon (I want _.ajn early shower) Downing. Overall the team produced a fine performance especially ' the forwards who performed excellently in the scrums and would have rucked effectively had the referee allowed them. Despite the fact that some players, including some senior players, decided to return to Hammersmith.
The second half saw Esher coming back into the game, and they were leading by 10-9 (or 14-9, depending on who was counting) when the match was stopped due to the unfortunate injury of one of their props. ' D a d d y ' Davies tried to steal the limelight by announcing that he, too, was injured. However, this had all been heard before, so no attention was paid. Esher did offer to finish the game (the last 12 minutes?) under floodlight at their grounds some time next term— we all look forward to that. Talk in the bar afterwards revolved around M a r k Hipsey's beautiful new hairstyle/black eye combination and about how the enthusiasm of the more hardy members of the club appears to have petered out. A t this thought, everyone sighed with resignation.
Sailing I C l s t X V vs Esher Having been warned that it may well turn out to be the hardest match of the season, it was quite a relief to discover that Esher weren't quite as good as expected. This made for a fairly even match, with I C having the better of the first half. A t orange-time we were 9-3 up. The highlight of the first half was Chris Carter getting poked in the eye by one of his own players, resulting in D C M c G e e yet again moving into his favourite position in the front row. However, Dave was consoled by the fact that the rest of the team agreed that his lightning speed merited a position in the front row.
IC vs Brunei 1-0 O n arrival at Datchet Water we found the lake covered in fog and absolutely no wind. Whereas the fog did finally clear (with help from a low fly past by Concord) all attempts to get the wind to appear failed. A s Caroline refused to do her wind dance around the Christmas tree the team set off for a calm, gentle and very slow drift on the lake, under these conditions strange forces start to work, while Andy and Caroline found they couldn't slow down, Phil and Alison's boat decided to go backwards around the wrong side of the
Student Travel i s a t 7 4
O l d
B r o m p t o n
gybe mark. The team however managed to pull off yet another victory. After a break for lunch a 'no olds barred' (ie you can cheat) race was held. Richard and Pete took this to mean that you didn't have to round the marks of the course; just sink the opposition.
Cricket us from repeating previous night's runner. By the way, lost to Britannia Naval College. Captain's L o g . Star date 27.6.83 Eastland scored 100 not out versus Plymstock in a match which I C contrived to lose by 8 wickets. M u c h beers consumed in the evening, exemplified by the various odours percolating around the breakfast table the following morning. Idiot of the day went to Shaw who walking out of the hotel entrance trod on the next day's breakfast. Scrambled eggs again, boys! Captain's L o g . Star Date 28.6.83 Piss-up match versus Babbacombe, lots of beers followed by silly games followed by lots of beers followed by altercation with blue uniformed gentlemen. G a r r o d and 5 wickets and birthday equals pissed person. Bell and first fifty of season and bottle of whiskey equals very pissed person.
I S E E IC B A R PRICES HAVE G O N E DOWN AGAIN
R o a d
The best range of services under one roof anywhere O O O O O O O O O
Bargain European Flights Transalpine) Train S e r v i c e s C o a c h e s to E u r o p e Crosschannel Hovercrafts Brltrail C a r d s International Cards Travel Insurance National B u s Services Irish T r a v e l s a v e S t a m p s
74 OLD BROMPTON ROAD, SOUTH KENSINGTON S.W.7
zef
Page
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• O O O O O O • O O O
L o w Cost Flights to: Asia South America Africa T h e Middle East Australia North America Low Cost Accommodation: Europe Asia North America
s i n
UNION
SOUTHSIDE
FOSTERS
2p d o w n
4p down
C A R L S B E R G
2p d o w n
4p d o w n
DIRECTORS
3p d o w n
C O U R A G E
G U E S T
A L E
F E B R U A R Y - RU D D L E S .
Friday. 13 January. 1984 • H H e ^ H H B B ^ H H H H H H H S B H
/
r
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L
'
x
M
friday
1245h Yacht Club
1330h Common
America Elects a President: 1
meeting.
How Does the System Work with Dr Kathleen Buck. u
1300h
1230h JCR S o c i a l i s t S o c b o o k s t a l l . Books, info and
Debating Society
Campaign Coffee. Concert Hall, Union I s l a m i c S o c Friday prayers. 1255h
Saturday
Room
Pippard Theatre Sherfield
scr
meeting.
Anyone interested in speaking this term or in the Observer Mace Competition should attend. Also anyone with ideas for future speakers would be welcome too.
M
S
O
N
I C C A G Office (top of Union Building) J o b b e r s q u a d . Use your talent for others.
International
1 3 3 0 h meet Beit Arch C y c l i n g C l u b training r u n (30-40 miles).
meeting.
1800h
SCR Bldg
Beit
r
1 4 0 0 h Rm 401 R S M M i c r o c o m p u t e r c l u b . Membership
£2. " 4 3 0 h Dramsoc Storeroom
Dolamores n" Society
Tasting
Dramsoc
Workshop.
1930h JCR B e g i n n e r s D a n c e Class
IC Radio
2000h-2200h Baker
Log Cabin (next door to Northfields tube station) A c t o n V e n t u r e C l u b for physically or mentally handicapped and deprived children. Travelling expenses paid by I C C A G .
Union
A
wedpe^day
Tasting of C a b e r n e t S a u v i g n o n w i n e s Sy
1 9 3 0 h JCR Intermediate D a n c e C l a s s . 50p.
H
1235h
Brown Committee Room Hop floor Union BuildiriQj A m n e s t y 1730h
1230h
1800h
W
Shiree
iftir^day 1 2 3 0 h Union Upper Lounge Audio S o c record club.
RCS Office
to collect money for Rag. Find a partner and a tie and come along. 3-legged pub crawl
1230h S&G
Union Building Lounge Lizards New Year's P a r t y til 2am, with band:
M i
weekly meeting
n
e
3 o 3
and talk.
_ _ _ _ ,
£ U U U n
1245h Upper Lounge Refugees—education and
Upside the Head on stage at 9pm. Prices 75p and £1.25.
d e v e l o p m e n t — a speaker
meeting by Third World First.
?ur>day
1 3 0 0 h Southside Upper Lounge B a l l o o n C l u b .
0 9 3 0 h meet Beit Arch C y c l i n g C l u b f u n r u n . Pace suitable for
beginners. If your bike is in good condition come along with some money for lunch.
1 3 0 0 h Green Committee SF S o c library meeting.
lue^day
1 0 0 0 h Consort Gallery, Sherfield W L C C o m m u n i o n Service.
Coffee will be served.
1 2 3 0 h Room 231 Chemistry C a t h o l i c m a s s a n d l u n c h . All
welcome. 1 3 0 0 h SCR W a r g a m e s
Ciub
Hack & Slag meeting. Nothing to do with Gay nor Lewis! .
. _ — ,
Meet
1430h
Dramsoc Store
for this term's major show Life and Time of Gallileo by Brecht are open to anyone—both those who acted last term and newcomers. The play has a large cast.
Auditions
2100-2300h H i c k m a n 'A
IC Radio R u s s e l l unique blend of
noise.
rpopday 1 2 3 0 h above Southside Bar Hang Gliding Club meeting. 1 2 4 5 h meet Beit l u n c h at R C A .
FELIX I
Arch
Vegsoc
1 2 3 0 h Union Upper Lounge A u d i o S o c Record Club. m
606 Elec Eng T1230h P i m l i c o C o n n e c t i o n 'Pay You
Racialism a n d Totalitarianism:
1800h
Committee
Room
Bring something to eat and drink and share. (No babies please.) Vegsoc Meal.
1830h
M
e
c
h
E
n 2
meeting. Southside Upper Lounge B o a r d s a i l i n g C l u b meeting. 1300h
Exec
1330h
9
S o c Film
1825h
1 3 0 0 h Upper Lounge Southside R i d i n g C l u b
SCC
2 Nazism on Trial—The Nuremberg Tribunal 1945-6 with Professor Michael Biddiss.
2 o
Jabberwocky. Non-members 60p, members 30p.
SF
P B ,
G
H
e
a a
i!
11 Hunters and
Life o n Earth:
Hunted.
Committee Room
•i O O r t U
SS
talk on 'The interaction of O B stars with the inter-stellar medium' by Dr I Wilson. Members free. Nonmembers 30p. Astro S o c
Green
Read Theatre Sherfield
1330h
As
Eat' lunch.
I aO aU aU lh
Room
Music Room 53 Prince's Gate Quartet
I j j U n The Salomon Th1730h meeting.
Aero 254
Gliding Club
. 1 8 3 0 h Union G y m J u d o P r a c t i c e . Membership £2.25;
Union
scr
1800h SCC
Practice fee 50p. G o o d punchup for anyone from beginner to black belt.
Full
meeting.
1 8 3 0 h Union Practice.
Gym
Judo
Union G y m
Judo
meeting. 1930h JCR B e g i n n e r s D a n c e class.
1300h Southside Bar R C S U E n t s / R a g C o m m i t e e . All members of Ents C o m m and all S o c Reps must attend to discuss future events.
1900h
P r a c t i c e . Practice fee 50p.
n o n U
Lounge above Southside Bar L i b e r a l C l u b m e e t i n g . NUS:
Iy O U n
2 2 0 0 - 2 4 0 0 h IC Radio A l p h a b e t S o u p with Ajay. Lunacy to
The Students Voice?
destroy those sane Thursday evenings.
I Friday, 13 January, 1984\
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N o p u z z l e this week, just the s o l u t i o n s to t h o s e in the last issue of last term.
Chess Puzzle Presidential
P a t r o n a g e
The Union President has once again filled the posts of Warden and Subwarden at the Fremantle without going through the normal procedure of advertising the vacancies and interviewing the applicants. Her reasons for not going through the normal procedure was that ' N o suitable candidates were found from previous residence interviews and there was no time to advertise and carry out interviews.' I don't know whether this is lazyness or stupidity on Gaynor's part. M o r e likely a case of meglomania on Michael Arthur's part, who recommends such appointments. Gaynor's action is not only unfair to the numerous people who want wardenships or subwardenships but bad management too. Better candidates will be found by interviewing from a larger number of applicants. What has been happening is that appointments have all been made by the Union President on the recommendation of Michael Arthur. A s a result there have been several people appointed to positions for which they have been clearly unsuitable and there have been a number of personality clashes resulting in unpleasantness at the Fremantle. A s it is, the new warden Nick James was the obvious candidate for the job a n d will probably make a very g o o d warden. Nevertheless a proper appointments procedure should be followed in which all posts must be automatically advertised and all candidates should be interviewed by a proper interview panel.
F E L I X
Blues
This is my 13th issue on Friday the 13th and at the time of writing 1 have no idea when this issue is going to come out. The regular printer has fallen ill. Apologies then if this issue is not out on time. I really do think I've picked the wrong sabbatical at times. A s F E L I X Editor I am constantly plagued with production problems, mechanical difficulties and have to endure sixty hour weeks and all I get are complaints and gripes. I should have gone tor a nice cushy number in the Union Office sipping sherry and eating pate all day. Features At Imperial we can boast some of the best clubs and societies in the country. I feel it is a shame that they do not receive the coverage they deserve, an article on the clubs page is hardly sufficient. I would therefore like to do a series of features on the clubs at IC each week. I would therefore like to see any club captains or society chairmen who are interested in having their club featured. I would also like to do a series of features on topics which are not directly related to College but are nevertheless of interest to students. Peter Burt has started a series on education cuts. Next week there will be something on the J a n u a r y sales, the week after there will be a feature o n underwater photography. If you have any ideas for features (that you could write even?) then please come and see me. Monday or Tuesday afternoons are the best times. Calendar All submissions for the F E L I X calendar should be handed in to the F E L I X Office by 5:30pm Monday. Credits J Martin Taylor, David Rowe, Jon Jones, Diane Love, Hugh Southey, John Scott, Ulysses, Adam Rose, Carolyn Gammon, Dave Parry, Adam Rose, Matt Fawcett, Maz and Tony the Temp. Pallab
G h o s h
Pawn on B2 B 2 - B 1 , p r o m o t e to a k n i g h t Pawn on C2 C 2 - C 1 , p r o m o t e to a rook Pawn on D2 D 2 - D 1 , p r o m o t e to a q u e e n P a w n on E2 E 2 - E 1 , p r o m o t e to a b i s h o p . After p r o m o t i n g , the rest f o l l o w s quite easily. Of seven c o r r e c t s o l u t i o n s , M i c h a e l D i l l a m o r e of E l ec E n g 3 w a s the r a n d o m l y s e l e c t e d winner.
A Code in the Head If y o u were c o n f u s e d by the fact that there were 26 different n u m b e r s , g o o d ! If y o u h a p p e n e d to spot the key, it w a s easy. If not, y o u c o u l d have been g o i n g r o u n d in c i r c l e s for ever. S i m p l y divide the nth n u m ber by n, a n d substitute e a c h n u m b e r for its c o r r e s p o n d i n g letter in the alphabet a n d the a n s w e r is ' H o w m u c h d o e s a U n i o n freebie c o s t ? ' Of the eight c o r r e c t s o l u t i o n s , P M Fisher, a M e c h E n g P G w a s the r a n d o m l y s e l e c t e d winner.
Prize Long Division In order to get my eternal a d m i r a t i o n , a n d £ 1 0 , p e o p l e took this p u z z l e i n c r e d i b l y s e r i o u s l y . S o m e one took eight d a y s to d o it, a n o t h e r stayed up all o n e night to d o it, a n o t h e r t o o k t wo days a n d p r o g r a m m a b l e c a l c u l a t o r to d o it, a n d t h o s e are just the o n e s w h o got it right. A p o l o g i e s if y o u spent all y o u r C h r i s t m a s h o l i d a y d o i n g it. A s a result of by b u i l d i n g it up so m u c h , it b e c a m e the most entered puzzle, a n d of the nine c o r r e c t entries, V e r n o n G a s k e l l of C i v E n g 2 c a n c o l l e c t his £ 1 0 after M o n d a y afternoon. T h e s o l u t i o n is too l o n g to print, but the a n s w e r is to divide 667334 into 7752341.
Square-wheeled bicycle If the length of the s i d e of a w h e e l is 2a, the largest difference in potential e n e r g y that the b i c y c l e c a n have is the difference between a w h e e l s t a n d i n g c o r n e r over c o r n e r a n d lying flat, a n d equals (J21)mga. T h i s is e q u a l to the c h a n g e in vertical K E . S i n c e the vertical K E i s z e r o a t t h e t o p , then w h e n the w h e e l is o n the g r o u n d , it must be (72-1 )mga. S o V y =/2a(V2-1)g. S i n c e the w h e e l axle is m o v i n g in a d i r e c t i o n at 45 d e g r e e s to the h o r i z o n t a l , V x = V y T h e r e f o re the m a x i m u m s p e e d before its w h e e l s start to leave the g r o u n d i s / 2 a («/2-1)g. O n l y t wo c o r r e c t i o n s o l u t i o n s , a n d P h i l l i p M i l n e of P h y s i c s 2 w a s the r a n d o m l y s e l e c t e d w i n n e r .
Crossword Clues 1. S c r a m b l e d e g g s 2. Water (H to G ) 3. T a l c u m p o w d e r 4. Hasn't got a c l u e 5. B a c k w a r d b o y W e l l d o n e to a n y o n e w h o got any of the p u z z l e s right, particularly P h i l i p M i l n e of P h y s i c s 2 a n d M i c h a e l D i l l a m o r e of E l ec E n g w h o got all four prize p u z z l e s right.
FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Rd,SW7 Tel 01-589 5111 extn 1048 or internal 2881. Editor: Pallab K Ghosh; Business Manager:PeterRodgers;AdvertisingManager:HughSoutheyCopyrightFEUX1983