http://www.felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1989/1989_0827_A

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ISSUE 827

10 FEB 1989

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n Dear Bill, T h e p r o p o s a l to m e r g e W i l l i s J a c k s o n a n d H o l b e i n H o u s e s , it has b e e n s u g e s t e d c o u l d be a c c o m p l i s h e d before the start o f t h e next a c a d e m i c y e a r . T h e benefits of t h i s w o u l d b e the c o n v e r s i o n of one of the w a r d e n ' s flats a n d the p o s s i b l e c o n v e r s i o n of a s u b w a r d e n ' s flat i n t o student a c c o m m o d a t i o n . T h e cost of these i m p r o v e m e n t s , p r o v i d i n g 3 to 5 places, w o u l d o b v i o u s l y be q u i t e l a r g e a n d w o u l d h a v e to be met b y the already o v e r s t r a i n e d Residences account. T h e merger w o u l d result i n a deterioration i n social life, quite apart f r o m the f i n a n c i a l c o n s i d e r a t i o n s . A t p r e s e n t there is a m a r k e d d i f f e r e n c e b e t w e e n the s o c i a l life i n the three smaller E v e l y n G a r d e n H o u s e s , a n d the sterility a n d isolation apparent i n S o u t h w e l l a n d Fisher Halls. It has b e e n a r g u e d that f e w o f the s t u d e n t s i n W i l l i s J a c k s o n gave preference to this h o u s e o n a p p l i c a t i o n f o r m s . T h i s to s o me extent also t r u e of o t h e r E v e l y n G a r d e n h o u s e s , b e c a u s e of t h e i r i s o l a t i o n f r o m college, b u t t h e vast m a j o r i t y of t h e p r e s e n t r e s i d e n t s w o u l d n o t n o w w i s h t o m o v e . It s e e m s r i d i c u l o u s that the o p i n i o n s of p e o p l e w h o , at that p o i n t h a d n o t e v e n s e e n t h e h o u s e o r a t t e n d e d college, are p u t f o r w a r d as a r e a s o n for the m e r g e r . T h e r e is v e r y little e n t h a u s i a s m a m o n g s t t h e s t u d e n t s at e i t h e r H o u s e f o r these p l a n s , a n d t h e H o u s e C o m m i t t e e at W i l l i s J a c k s o n h a s r e s o l v e d t o f i g h t t h e m . W e h o p e the college can find other ways to resolve its a c c o m o d a t i o n crisis. Rupert Clayton Nicholas Marley (10 other students)

M Dear Bill, I a t t e n d e d t h e U G M last w e e k for the first t i m e for a w h i l e , a n d w a s not s u r p r i s e d to f i n d that the u s u a l tricks of p u t t i n g the i n t e r e s t i n g b u s i n e s s last w e r e s t i l l g o i n g o n . W h e n t h i s o c c u r s , to h e l p a l o n g b u s i n e s s o f t e n b e f o r e q u o r u m is c a l l e d , I d o not object, b u t there w a s o n l y one issue i n w h i c h t w o - t h i r d s of those present were interested. Business was s p u n o u t for a n h o u r b e f o r e t h e m o t i o n o n U G M abolition was discussed, a n d sufficiently l o n g for p e o p l e w i t h 2.30 lectures to h a v e to leave before v o t i n g w a s c o m p l e t e d . T h e audience w a s c o n s i d e r a b l y r e d u c e d before this o c c u r e d . A n u m b e r o f a p p e a l s f r o m t h e f r o n t o f the m e e t i n g w e r e m a d e , to give serious c o n s i d e r a t i o n to separate p a r t s of the m o t i o n c o n c e r n i n g t h e m e r g e r w i t h S t M a r y ' s . It d i d i n d e e d d e s e r v e better t r e a t m e n t t h a n it r e c e i v e d , b u t the m a j o r i t y of the a u d i e n c e w a s f a c e d w i t h t h e c h o i c e of a v o t e n o w o r n e v e r , it w a s v o t e d d o w n e n t i r e l y . G i v e n t h e w a y i n w h i c h t h e m e e t i n g i s h a n d l e d , it w a s impossible to produce any useful decisions f r o m a n y p o i n t w i t h i n the m o t i o n , except that U G M a b o l i t i o n w a s n o t acceptable. A t t e n d i n g a U G M to v o t e o n a n i s s u e I feel s t r o n g l y a b o u t , is v i r t u a l l y t h e o n l y t i m e that I h a v e contact w i t h the w o r k i n g s of the U n i o n .

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I a m not s u r p r i s e d that all other students w i t h w h o m I h a v e d i s c u s s e d this m o t i o n , h a v e agreed that U G M abolition is unaceptable. T h e o n e p o i n t o f the college o r g a n i s a t i o n w h i c h has i m p r e s s e d m e w h i l e b e i n g a s t u d e n t h e r e ds the openness of the s y s t e m to the electorate to c o m p e l the w i s h e s u p o n a d i s i n t e r e s t e d E x e c u t i v e , o r to c u r b its excesses. T h i s has a l w a y s s e e m e d a s h a r p contrast t o elections outside college. David Pierce •'' . :

Physics PG

t Dear Bill, In the Alternative Prospectus Update published at the e n d of last term, the Sub-Editorial stated that the Undergraduate Studies Com m ittee, ' d o not receive as m u c h support as is necessary to really gets things d o n e ' . A t the C o m m i t t e e ' s last meeting w e discussed this statement w i t h the Sub-Editor, a n d I want to let everyone k n o w , through your columns that the Undergraduate Studies Committee has never been delayed i n its w o r k b y lack of support f r o m the College, f o r m the U n i o n , f r o m the A U T or f r o m the board of studies. Indeed the support We h a v e received f r o m a l l sources has/ been magnificent. College h a s f u n d e d u s g e n e r o u s l y . F o r example, w e c ould purchase a mark reader to process the teaching appraisal forms w h i c h everyone w i l l be i n v i t e d to complete-in the next few days. It has also g i v e n us f u n d s to meet all academic staff training, a n d so to extend the training given to offered to probationary teachers so that they d o a course i n each of the probationary years. The support f r o m college has also a l l o w e d us to institute the reviews of undergraduate teaching i n departments, a n d by the e n d of this session more t h a n half the departments i n college w i l l have been r e v i e w e d . In every case the report of the review a n d the changes recbrnmended, have been accepted by the Board of Studies a n d by the department concerned, without major ammendment. ; The Board of Studies have also s u p p o r t e d us by accepting important n e w practices suggested i n our reports. The most obvious w i l l be the availability to all students, this year, of the responses to the lecturing appraisal survey i n their department. O t h e r significant changes w i l l f o l l o w t h e acceptance of o u r r e p o r t o n Undergraduate M o t i v a t i o n a n d Performance earlier this session, w h i c h gave guidelines o n student load, curriculum organisation and tutorial practice w h i c h c a n be m o n i t o r e d i n o u r departmental reviews f r o m n o w o n . S u p p o r t f r o m students has been positive, constructive and energetic, both from the student members of the Com m ittee, f r o m Departmental Representatives and from students w h o have met the assessors d u r i n g departmental reviews. W e have been criticised for slowness, a n d there have been times w h e n w e have consciously m o v e d s l o w l y i n order to give time for others to accept o ur p o i n t of v i e w . But I think there have been significant achievments i n our three a n d a half years of existence. Yours David Blow Professor of Biophysics

FELIX

' Dear Bill, L a s t w e e k ' s F E L I X s a w Ian M o r r i s , J u l i a n M o o r e a n d N e i l M c C l u s k y c o r n e r the m a r k e t i n 'factual inaccuracies'. I w o u l d like to s u b m i t s o m e ' l o g i c a l i n a c c u a r c i e s ' f r o m their entries. R e g a r d i n g the r i d i c u l o u s W a t e r P o l o L o a n s posters, I quote J u l i a n M o o r e , T a n M o r r i s s a w the posters a n d a g r e e d that t h e y w e r e t o t a l l y i l l e g a l , b u t h e i s n ' t g o i n g to create a fuss because h e agrees w i t h the s e n t i m e n t s ' . T h e q u e s t i o n is not w h e t h e r these posters met w i t h c l u b c o m m i t t e e ' s a p p r o v a l , b u t w h e r e the h e l l is t h e c o n n e c t i o n b e t w e e n w a t e r p o l o a n d student p o l i t i c s ! S u r e l y a society i s g i v e n a b u d g e t A N D a n o f f i c i a l U n i o n n a m e o n the basis that t h e y w i l l b e u s e d to f u r t h e r t h e stated a i m s of the society. T h e w a t e r p o l o c l u b w a s s i m p l y a d o p t e d as a t a g to l e g i t i m i s e the p o l i t i c a l activities of its c o m m i t t e e . T h e e m b r y o n i c a n t i - s t u d e n t l o a n s society ( w h i c h n o w m e r i t s c a p i t a l letters i n J u l i a n ' s letter a n d so s e e m s to exist) s h o u l d h a v e set t h e m s e l v e s u p a n d t h e n a c t e d . If t h e y c a n get all those i n n o c e n t s t u d e n t s t o s i g n t h e i r petition, then surely they could f i n d twenty or t h i r t y to f o r m a society. A s s o m e o n e w h o a t t e n d e d the first a n t i l o a n s m e e t i n g at college I w o u l d l i k e to c o n t e n d h i s d e n i a l that t h e y are n o t 'leftist h a c k s ' - the w h o l e r o o m s m e lt of S W S S . T h e y s u c c e e d e d i n h i j a c k i n g the w a t e r p o l o c l u b , a n d t h e n w e n t o n to h i j a c k I C U for t h e i r o w n political ends. I C U is u n i q u e . It h a s b e e n w e l l k n o w n for being apolitical - w h e n K e n Baker visits most u n i v e r s i t i e s h e gets p e l t e d w i t h eggs a n d y o g h u r t , w h e n h e visits I C h e gets i n t e r v i e w e d by S T O I C . M a n y Lefties w h o come here c o m p l a i n at the a p o l i t i c a l n a t u r e of o u r U n i o n - t h e y c o m p l a i n that i t s n o t f i g h t i n g t h e i r causes for t h e m . I t h i n k m o s t I C s t u d e n t s are g e n e r a l l y p r o u d of o u r s t u d e n t U n i o n a n d its i n d e p e n d a n t stance. T h e r e are s i g n s o f t h i s b e i n g e r r o d e d - the o u t of character a d o p t i o n of t h e l o a n s c a m p a i g n m a y b e t h e first example. Andrew Allum

Physics III

d Dear Bill, L a s t y e a r S y d h a d the g o o d s e n s e to accept the a d v i c e g i v e n b y N i g e l t h i s y e a r - n a m e l y ' n e v e r w r i t e b a c k ' to letters i n F E L I X . N i c k B r a d s h a w , I C U P r e s i d e n t 1976/77, i m p a r t e d these w o r d s of w i s d o m to h i s sucessor, H u g h Barrett, a n d u r g e d m e to pass t h e m o n to a l l f u t u r e P r e s i d e n t s , s a y i n g that a s e n s i b l e P r e s i d e n t has n e i t h e r t i m e n o r i n c l i n a t i o n t o i n d u l g e i n distasteful s l a n g i n g m a t c h e s i n t h e media. i P e r h a p s it w o u l d b e a g o o d e x t e n s i o n of t h e same p r i n c i p l e if past sabbaticals still at college also r e f r a i n e d f r o m r e p l y i n g t o letters i n FELIX. Sincerely, fen Hardy-Smith Union Administrator

February 10 1989

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ANNOUNCEMENTS • AIESEC M e e t i n g , Tuesday 12.45pm, M e c h E n g 748. Valentine's b i g kiss f r o m K o n r a d Pagenstert for all w h o t u r n u p ! • Is a n y b o d y else r u n n i n g i n this year's L o n d o n Marathon? I ' m l o o k i n g for somebody to train w i t h . Contact G a v i n Spittlehouse, C o m p u t i n g 3. •Environmental a n d A p p r o p r i a t e Technology Society present ' E n v i r o n m e n t a l W e e k ' f r o m 20 to 24 Feb. Lectures every day, 2 films a n d t w o stalls a r o u n d College, one m a n n e d b y the G r e e n Party. W a t c h out next week for more publicity. • Booksale—Avoid the crowds at Sotheby's. A u n i q u e chance is afforded of acquiring w i t h d r a w n items of Central Libraries book stock. M a n y bargains to be h a d . L y o n Playfair Library foyer, 9.30-14.00 W e d n e s d a y 22 Feb. • Ladies basketball team meets Fridays at 12.30pm, Volleyball C o u r t s , b e h i n d O l d C h e m i s t r y or contact K C r a w l e y , C h e m I v i a pigeonholes. •Help—A red Marrin mountain bike w a s stolen f r o m outside M E on W e d n e s d a y (1 Feb) afteroon. • A n y o n e spot anything? Contact Tristram G r a h a m , M E 3. FOR S A L E •Cannon fitting lenses; Vivitar series 1. 28-135mm a n d S i g m a 70-210mm. A l s o , cable a n d

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FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publication Board and is printed by the Imperial College Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB (Tel 01-589 5111 ext 3515). Editor: Bill Goodwin. Business Manager: Liz Warren. Advertising Manager: Nick Jones. Copyright FELIX 1988 ISSN 1040-0711.

February 10 1989

PERSONAL • C h r i s t m a s is c o m i n g fast! D o n ' t delay, contact A n d y Plant ( C h e m E n g 2) for y o u r free h a m p e r catalogue. • Nutford H o u s e . C o r r i d o r S p e e d R e c o r d : 17.5mph. W e l l d o n e J o n . • Nutford H o u s e N e w s — G e t y o u r Valentine's messages i n now! • DoneV S O ? I a m w r i t i n g a n article i n F E L I X about experiences i n V S O a n d a m interested i n i n t e r v i e w i n g y o u . Please contact Features Editor, F E L I X ( U n i o n Building). •Thanks, M a n o s . • Q T is C o s m i c , or is it custard? Just w a t c h y o u d o n ' t p u t y o u r foot i n it, but then h a v e n ' t y o u said enough? • Phallixword: Telegram f o r G o t h i c T h u n d e r ! Congratulations! A h ! T h e Last M a i n Block. • T h e r u m o u r that IndSoc is c h a n g i n g its name to C V S o c is completely u n t r u e . • Italian speaker w a n t e d , for regular conversation practice. Contact P a u l S m i t h , M a n a g e m e n t School, int 7029. • Phallixword: T h e Purest? Y e s I think so. W a s n ' t it a Cadillac y o u were l o o k i n g f o r ? — T L M B • Q T w a t c h this space!

THE GREAT GUILDS RAVIOLI COMPETITON 14th February at 1pm Beit Quad Do you like Ravioli? Would you like a free meal? Can you find sponsors? YES? Then collect sponsorship forms from the Guilds Office. 10 best forms get to compete.

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t r i p o d . Contact Tristram G r a h a m M E 3. • Calling all b i k e r s - N o l a n (N31) fibreglass helmet (unused). £ 5 0 . Contact M A f s h a m , C o m p u t i n g 1 or extension 54 T i z a r d H a l l .

FELIX

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o T h i s is the final article i n a series of h i g h l y investigative and p r o f o u n d features, i n w h i c h a certain student reveals the heartfelt v i e w s of the students of Imperial College a n d Great Britain, o n the National Issues of U n i o n Rats, alcohol enforced overdrafts a n d finally but b y n o means leastically, t h e h o u n d i n g d i l e m a of the editorial freedom of FELIX. The Paper F E L I X uses sentences w h i c h are far too l o n g a n d w o r d s w h i c h are far too g y n o r m o u s . It deliberately outtalks the average student reader w h o s e average I Q is certainly less t h a n the average F E L I X hack's I Q . A certain student (Syd - Ed) recently stated that out of a r a n d o m selection of 5 Felices he u n d e r s t o o d at least

H For the outsider, attending a science fiction c o n v e n t i o n is n o t u n l i k e being an alien stranded, helpless o n a strange planet w i t h o u t even a Speak-and-Spell for company. H e is surrounded b y people whose language h e does not speak a n d w h o s e customs he does n o t u n d e r s t a n d . To p u t it another w a y , y o u r c o r r e s p o n d e n t s p e n t last Saturday at Imperial College Science Fiction society's ' P i c o C o n ' The culture shock is instantaneous. T h e outsider, p l u c k i n g u p his courage, enters the h a l l o w e d portals of the U n i o n b u i l d i n g a n d approaches the SFers at reception. 'Are-you-eye-see-esseff?', the d u t y SFette enquires ' N o ' he nervously replies. 'Astra?' A g a i n the a n s w e r w o u l d seem to be negative. H e is labeled as a heretic a n d is h a n d e d a tell tale blue badge.

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30% of the contents i n at least one case. T h e u n d e r l y i n g p u r p o s e behind this seemingly innocent ploy is t o m a k e F E L I X t h e o n l y publication w h i c h fully understands the idiotic farces that take place i n the loony b i n . It is a w e l l k n o w n p l o y i n p u b l i s h i n g to keep the dramatic facts secret a n d print s o m e t h i n g that i s c o m p l e t e l y uninformative. F E L I X is falling into this trap. F E L I X has totally rejected the offer of supreme editorial power f r o m the U n i o n . If this offer h a d been accepted the Sabbaticals w o u l d have edited p r i n t e d a n d p r o d u c e d the paper a n d as a w e e k l y heebie g i v e n a n Exec N e w s insert. H o w e v e r the staff are b o u n d b y some w i e r d chant of 'Editorial F r e e d o m ' a n d remain oblivious to this offer. W e n d y (Ian) M o r r i s H o n Sec for

The outsider sets out to explore this strange n e w w o r l d . I n the corner of the entrance hall stands a black board optimistically p r o c l a i m i n g no problems. O n the w a l l a n arrow points to something called a ' f a n r o o m ' . Intrigued, h e follows it. W h a t strange creatures inhabit this place? In one corner a gaggle of people leant over b u z z i n g , bleeping computers busy blasting digital aliens to technicolour smithereens. In another wizards and hobbits fight each other w i t h notepads a n d dice. A t the very back of the r o o m , h i d d e n b e h i n d r o w s of brightly p a i n t e d p l a s t i c r o c k e t s , sat a genuine enthusiast, the first of the day. A l l a r o u n d people were talking excitedly of Pratchett a n d L a n g f o r d a n d S h a w , of the last C O N N I E a n d of I C O N 9 1 . T h e o u t s i d e r , o v e r w e a l m e d , wanders out. Upstairs h e finds more SFers, w o r s h i p p e r s of the great g o d TeeV e e . H e slips quietly into the r o o m and stands b y the door. O n the screen, a n e n o r m o u s l y fat m a n explodes. T h e audience is both nauseated a n d delighted. H e leaves

events attempted to express h i s o p i n i o n s i n a recent rant article. If he pays a little m o r e attention to seeking supreme p o w e r Ian c o u l d exhibit an outstanding year for his U n i o n rather than organising discos for t h e r e g u l a r s i x A m e r i c a n attenders. F E L I X is here to project a v i e w o n every issue. It s h o u l d be c o m p l e t e l y accountable to t h e President a n d totally b a n n e d f r o m printing anything w h i c h i n a n y w a y condemns the action of the U n i o n . In this w a y s tu d e n ts w i l l be protected f r o m the need to express any o p i n i o n or to have any say i n the r u n n i n g of their r u l i n g b o d y . It is a system w h i c h has w p r k e d brilliantly i n Russia. W h y not try it here i n Imperial (Russia)? C o m e o n F E L I X think about it sensibly. The Editor

suspect there is worse to come. O n the w o r k side there is yet more scandal. A dark a n d sinister personality has been revealed i n w i l d personal attacks o n our meek president Nigel Baker typified i n the scandalous editorial i n w h i c h B i l l acccussed M r Baker of b e i n g a n 'overgrown k i d d i e ' a n d subsequently even sank to the depths of 'below the belt' personal attacks a n d labelled the leader as an 'infant megalomaniac'. C o m e o n B i l l . N i g e l was s i m p l y trying to t u r n over supreme p o w e r to himself, invalidate all the v i e w s of students i n thr U n i o n , destroy all k n o w n forms of democracy, conceal a l l decisions a n d actions f r o m F E L I X a n d the College, a n d m a i n t a i n his blissful relationship w i t h the l o v e l y doctors a n d nurses i n P a d d i n g t o n . Is that really to m u c h to ask?

A l t h o u g h the best candidate for the job at the time of the elections easily beating his opponent to the stark horror of the existing supremo M s McHackney, M r William Goodwin has since been discovered a horrible f r a u d . N o t o n l y d i d he r u n the election under the false name of Bill, a tactic strictly o u t l a w e d i n the fading turquoise U n i o n bible, but his strange sexual history a n d outrageous sexual perversions were kept stictly secret. The election was obviously one of the most successful cover-ups ever performed. H o w e v e r since October Bill has come out of the closet. H i s h a r r o w i n g desire to be the mother of other peoples babies has been revealed a n d I

I n d e e d secret s o u r c e s h a v e revealed that the voice heard at the U G M chanting 'this is exactly h o w N a z i G e r m a n y started', was that of M r G o o d w i n himself. W e must ask ourselves h o w this f i e n d s l i p p e d through o u r rigorous election procedure. It must n o t h a p p e n again. M r G o o d w i n is a ferocious literary farce w h o ought to carry a powerful government health w a r n i n g to w a r d off the meek a n d submissive staff u n d e r his p o w e r . A t the same time deep d o w n B i l l is a soft marsh m a l l o w i n g character whom I once would have considered a good partner. P r e s e n t l y I fear h i s f u t u r e academically a n d sexually. I ' m sorry B i l l but it h a d to be s a i d.

again. Back i n the entrance hall the blackboard's luck has r u n out: it n o w informs the w o r l d that the bar w i l l not be open for another h o u r . N e a r b y , w o r r i e d l o o k i n g beings i n ICSF sweatshirts discuss lost guests. The outsider pokes h i s h e a d a r o u n d the door of something o m i n o u s l y n a m e d Battle of the Plants, f u l l y expecting to see a n aspidistra a n d a rubber plant locked i n mortal combat. Instead he sees two dozen humanoids. O n e of them gets u p a n d faces the others. H e is h a n d e d a piece of paper. A t a signal he begins to w a v e his h a n d s about w i l d l y . The others shout at h i m , 'Book!', 'Film!!', ' H o w many Syllables?!!'. Suddenly he jumps u p a n d p o i n t s e x c i t e d l y at s o m e r a n d o m SFer, apparently the winner. The prize w o u l d seem to be a question, a question of s u c h obscurity that n o n o r m a l person c o u l d possibly answer it. A s a rule, it is answered correctly. A f t e r half an h o u r or so, the outsider sidles out, his h e a d s p i n n i n g .

profusely for the loss of t w o guests to bronchitis a n d the late arrival of Ruling committee another. members are t a k i n g it i n turns to wear a g o l d hat a n d gibber inanely. The c o n v e n t i o n starts to get g o i n g . The guests are due to speak. The stars of the s h o w , a n d the heroes of the audience, are the SF authors themselves. These people k n o w their audience a n d k n o w h o w to make t h e m h a p p y . T h e y read f r o m t h e i r latest b o o k s w i t h u n h i n d e r e d bravura. T h e y describe the plots of books yet to come. G r a p h i c descriptions of invasions of killer stomachs, stories of useless guards a n d impractical dragons, side-swipes at publishers a n d other authors: the audience lap it u p . This t y p e o f e n t h u s i a s m is e q u a l l y contageous. T h e outsider f i n d s himself laughing at in-jokes he does not u n d e r s t a n d . H e is almost converted.

Suddenly, the speech is over. A n y questions? A h a n d shoots u p i n the audience. ' I n y o u r b o o k . . . ' . T h e effect is rather like h a v i n g the w i n d It is the afternoon. The blackboard k n o c k e d out of y o u . The questioner i n the entrance h a l l is apologising gives a page reference a n d asks

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February 10 1989

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T he proposals o u t l i n e d i n the Government's White Paper ' T o p u p loans for students', w i l l lead to a critical shortage of students w i l l i n g to take u p Post Graduate s t u d y . This was the consensus of a meeting of the Post G r a d u a t e Students Committee ( P G C ) , at a meeting last week at U L U . T h e y claim that the as debt burden incurred undergraduates w i l l deter most graduates c o n t i n u i n g i n education. Post Graduates w i l l not be able to d r a w o n Social Security Benefits after 1990, u n d e r the plans but a discretionary £ 5 m Access F u n d w i l l be administered by Universities 'for cases of genuine h a r d s h i p ' . This

f u n d w i l l be totally inadequate, according to the P G C , w h o foresee severe difficulties for Post Graduates after the deregulation of rents a n d the i n t r o d u c t i o n of P o l l T a x . L o n d o n , as the region w i t h the highest rents w i l l be the hardest hit. Robert Jackson M P , the H i g h e r Education M i n i s t e r , i n f o r m e d the Committee that only mandatory P G grants w o u l d be frozen. Such grants are h e l d b y clinical students at M e d i c a l Schools. The G o v e r n m e n t proposals d o n o t discuss h o w d i s c r e t i o n a r y a w a r d s w i l l be calculated w h i c h are c u r r e n t l y linked to t h e level of a n undergraduate grant .

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The U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n U n i o n ' s G e n e r a l U n i o n C o u n c i l has elected R u t h B e n z i m r a as President for the rest of this academic year. M s B e n z i m r a , w h o w a s elected H e began his talk by outlining the u n o p p o s e d , said she w a n t e d to the G o v e r n m e n t policy o n some of the major issues currently i n the w o r k full-time for U L U after h a v i n g been a member of U L U ' s Executive news. Committee for 2 years. O n e the issue of football identity M s B e n z i m r a ' s election comes after cards, he emphasised thier sole U L U ' s previous President, Stewart purpose of keeping the hooligan Jackson resigned at an emergency element out of football matches meeting of G U C i n January. rather than intimidating the general public. H e merged the issue of the Official Secrets Bill and the 'Right of Detention' i n N o r t h e r n Ireland with the answe that both were designed to ensure an atmosphere of greater security for the general public. The H o m e Secretary, Douglas H u r d M P was invited to the Conservative Society meeting last Tuesday.

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T T he A s s o c i a t i o n of U n i v e r s i t y Teachers ( A U T ) have resolved to continue their boycott of examinations after describing the most recent pay offer made to them as ' M e a g r e a n d inappropriately modest'. In L o n d o n , heads of departments

i n Q u e e n M a r y ' s C o l l e g e are refusing to request examination papers a n d the A U T are claiming 'total s u p p o r t ' i n Birkbeck College. The A U T claim that there are over 30 Universities i n v o l v e d i n the dispute n a t i o n w i d e .

A t the end of his speech, a barrage of controversial questions were asked by students f r o m the T h i r d W o r l d First a n d Socialist W o r k e r s ' Party. The questions ranged f r o m the issue of tough i m m i g r a t i o n policies, the 'unaccountability' of the security services, alleged police brutality to the Government's policy on curbing A I D S i n prisons.

The R o y a l College of Science U n i o n ( R C S U ) has raised i n the region of £1600 by selling Rag M a g s o n a tour a r o u n d 14 Universities i n the N o r t h of E n g l a n d . O v e r 3000 Rag M a g s were sold at Sheffield, Manchester, L i v e r p o o l a n d other Universities. The tour brings the R C S U Rag total to over £16000 for this year.

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The sender of the wittiest caption recieved by Tuesday lunchtime w i l l w i n a crate of L . R o n H u b b a r d books or a night out w i t h the F E L I X editor. This competition was sponsored by 'No-News Blues' Inc.

February 10 1989

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y Chris Barber's Jazz & Blues Band, 100 Club, Wednesday 25 Jan. Trombonist, vocalist, bandleader, record producer, jazz fanatic—the list is impressive i n itself, but C h r i s Barber has been all of these things for 35 years. Since the 1950s w h e n he h e l p e d f o u n d the legendary Marquee Club, then i n Oxford Street, h i s b a n d of d e d i c a t e d musicians has toured the w o r l d and recorded a broad range of musical styles w i t h a plethora of great musicians. It w a s he w h o first brought legendary blues giants such as H o w l i n ' W o l f to Britain f r o m A m e r i c a and his w e e k l y sessions at the M a r q u e e l a u n c h e d the R & B craze i n the 1950s. A t lot has h a p p e n e d i n the years since, but Barbers Jazz a n d Blues B a n d is still a g r o u p of dedicated musicians s u r v i v i n g it's personnel changes t h r o u g h the years. Their return to the 100 C l u b was a n impressive s h o w of traditional jazz, s w i n g a n d m e l l o w blues; r o u g h yet clean, original foot s t o m p i n g music delivered with an enthusiasm d i s g u i s i n g their years. A t home p l a y i n g slow blues o r shouting, p o w e r f u l jazz, all eight b l e n d their instruments together without losing their i n d i v i d u a l i t y . Pat H a l c o x ' s m u t e d trumpet o n Spanish Castles, the i n s p i r e d double bass of V i c Pitt as he launches into a b l i n d i n g solo, or t h e a l m o s t b e - b o p tenor saxophone w i t h w h i c h John Crocker beautifully slides i n a n d out of the melodies, all were w o r t h y of the capacity c r o w d that night. Their success is u n d o u b t e d l y the product of a passion for jazz shared by two friends w h o w a n t e d to start a b a n d 35 years ago. Their b a n d is still g o i n g strong, a n d they still love jazz, but best of all, they are still p l a y i n g it. Rufus Isaacs.

The lucky bastard who won last week's comp. was Martin Steer, Life Sci W. F I N A L I S T S If you want a final year photo, or any group photo, and your department photographer is • unable to do it, contact Doug King at FELIX. Any job considered. Competitive rates.

February 10 1989

s Jesus Jones have not been a r o u n d l o n g . Y o u can tell this by the fact that they still have Joe T k n o w the b a n d mate' Bloggs t u r n i n g u p to their gigs. H e is the one w h o subtely lets y o u k n o w his aquaintaince with the g r o u p by shouting 'Barry is a w a n k e r ' then laughing (laaarfing) in a S o u t h L o n d o n accent. The b a n d are visibly embarrassed b y this remnant of their schooldays a n d attempt to pass h i m off as a heckler. Joe w i l l not be defeated t h o u g h , he continues to y o d e l the names of songs then go ' Y e a h ' as they start the introduction and n o d his head vigorously whilst all around h i m are static. O n e day the band w i l l tell h i m to piss off, then they w i l l have matured. Jesus Jones t r y to shock, w i t h attitude rather than antics. P r o c l a i m i n g their o w n greatness, strutting, posing then playing listento-us p o p rock a la Wonderstuff. They are the best of the Pop Will Eat ItselfWonderstuff apostles. They play this arrogant music right a n d believe i n w h a t they say. T h ey make y o u believe it, y o u feel that there must be something i n them, they are a spectacle to be seen.

Jesus Jones are playing ICU on March 3, come along with your leather jacket.

Thinking of having a party, iisco or soiree to impress your friends? Well we have a disco just for you, It is cheap and we have the latest and greatest records for your delight and delectation. We can provide you with the Lounge Disco as seen at Ents events and Wednesday Night Discos, or a mobile disco for use anywhere in College. So, get together with your friends and book the Ents Disco Contact B) via Ents pigeonhole (in Union Office) for more information.

The two prime movers i n M o z a r t ' s creativity reflect the two greatest things in life; love and death. In his operas the most m o v i n g a n d genuine passages deal w i t h these w o n d e r f u l ideas w h i c h are the renewal of life, and an e n d to life. M o z a r t w a s a n attentive a n d affectionate lover as can be seen f r o m h i s l e t t e r s to h i s w i f e Constanze. Seven years into their marriage, w h i l e he was away i n Dresden, he wrote 'Dearest little wife, if only I had a letter from y o u ! If I were to tell you all the things I do w i t h your dear portrait I think y o u w o u l d often l a u g h . For instance, w h e n I take it out of its case, I say, ' G o o d - d a y , Stanzerl! G o o d - d a y , little rascal, p u s s y - p u s s y, little turned-up nose, little bagatelle, Schluck u n d Druck', and w h e n I put it away again, I let it slip i n very slowly, saying all the time, ' N u - N u - N u - N u ! ' w i t h the peculiar emphasis w h i c h this w o r d so full of m e a n i n g demands, a n d then just at the last, quic kly, ' G o o d night, little mouse, sleep w e l l . ' W e l l , I suppose I have been w r i t i n g something very foolish (to the w o r l d at all events); but to us w h o love each other so dearly, it is not foolish at all. Today is the sixth day since 1 left y o u a n d by H e a v e n ! it seems a year.' H i s operas are full of complex love-affairs w h i c h u s u a l l y e n d h a p p i l y , such as those i n his most famous opera Le N o z z e d i Figaro. The plot is rather light, but caused a stir a m o n g the aristocracy of the time because it showed the servants of the h o u s e h o l d plotting against, and m a k i n g a fool of, their masters. W e start w i t h Figaro, man-servant of the C o u n t A l m a v i v a , calling out the measurements f o r the r o o m w h i c h is to contain his w e d d i n g bed. H i s fiancee, t h e s c r u n t y Susanna, tells h i m that the C o u n t has designs o n her. The countess is e n a m o u r e d of a y o u n g a n d handsome page called C h e r u b i n o who spends a great deal of time h i d i n g i n cupboards a n d c l i m b i n g out of back w i n d o w s . Figaro is loved by a crinkly o l d w o m a n , Marcellina, who is old enough to be his mother, and w h o actually turns out to be his mother. The complexity reaches its h e i g h t w h e n t h e C o u n t asks Susanna to d o something that a fiancee really s h o u l d not, but she dupes h i m b y s w a p p i n g dresses w i t h the countess so that the C o u n t commits adultery w i t h h i s o w n w i f e . To save face he declares his love for her a n d everyone sings a h a p p y chorus. M o z a r t ' s character also h a d a deeper a n d more serious side. This

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can be seen i n a letter he wrote to his father L e o p o l d , w h o m he l o v e d greatly, o n hearing of his illness. ' . . . b u t n o w I hear that y o u are really i l l . I need hardly tell y o u h o w greatly I am longing to receive some reassuring news from yourself. A n d I still expect it; although I have n o w made a habit of being prepared i n all affairs of life for the worst. A s death, w h e n we come to consider it closely, is the true goal of o u r existence, I have formed d u r i n g the la*! few years such close relations with this best a n d truest friend of m a n k i n d , that his image is not only no longer terrifying to me, but is indeed very soothing a n d consoling. A n d I thank m y G o d for graciously granting me the o p p o r t u n i t y (you k n o w what I mean) of learning that death is the K E Y w h i c h unlocks the door to our true h a p p i n e s s . '

Old Motzie himself H i s masterpiece, the R e q u i e m , was commissioned by a 'stranger i n grey'. H e became convinced that he had been p o i s o n e d w i t h acqua toffana, a designer p o i s o n of the seventeenth century, as h i s wife described after his death 'Some six months before his death he was possessed w i t h the idea of his being p o i s o n e d - T k n o w I must die,' he exclaimed, 'someone has given m e acqua toffana a n d has calculated the precise time of m y death—for w h i c h they have ordered a R e q u i e m , it is for myself that I a m writing this.' His wife forced h i m to put it aside, and so he wrote a masonic ode w h i c h was a great success. This gave h i m confidence to return to the R e q u i e m , but w i t h i n a few days of starting he fell i l l a n d d i e d a f e w months later. To the last he w o r k e d on the Requiem, dictating to h i s p u p i l Sussmayr, a n d telling h i m how to complete the w o r k . A w o m a n at his bedside wrote 'his last m o v e m e n t w a s a n attempt to express w i t h his m o u t h the d r u m passages i n the R e q u i e m . That I can still hear.' Hear it for yourself: P h i l i p s 411 420-2.

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Space Centre, out to the launch pad where Discovery was quietly sitting, all w r a p p e d u p i n a giant spaceshuttle cosy. M o s t of this is free, or cheap, a n d it is all inside too, so w h e n it's teeming d o w n outside this is an ideal a n d very interesting place to go. W e met a spaceman although my friend N e i l thought he was only an actor.

G e t t i n g T h e re A m e r i c a is the mother of the hamburger, the large rootbeer, the fast-food joint. Yet never before have I encountered such difficulty in ordering a Big M a c (without large fries, thank-you) as the time I entered the M c D o n a l d ' s at 71st a n d C o l l i n s , M i a m i Beach, Fla. T h e p r o b l e m was the different language w h i c h we share.

D a y s T w o , Three a n d F o u r . Walt D is ney W o r l d . Step into the M a g i c K i n g d o m a n d y o u enter t w o h u n d r e d a n d fifty acres of pure amusement p a r k . A m u l t i t u d e of rides, restaurants a n d gift shops Rabbit crammed with Roger paraphernalia. A short monorail trip away is E P C O T , two h u n d r e d a n d fifty acres of d e f i n i t i v e c r o w d control. This is split r o u g h l y three ways also as above. The difference is the rides take the f o r m of active m u s e u m exhibits. It isn't just the thrill of the rollercoaster (this being the appeal of the M a g i c K i n g d o m ) b u t t h e s t i m u l a t i o n of t h e imagination too. It was M i c k e y ' s 60th Birthday too a n d I was one of o n l y a few m i l l i o n visitors to w i s h h i m a h a p p y one.

T h i s t u r n e d out to be a recurrent trouble. I c o u l d speak A m e r i c a n quite w e l l , but that d i d n ' t seem to be e n o u g h . The natives are f r o m such diverse backgrounds a n d races that the title ' A m e r i c a n ' becomes h i d e o u s ly meaningless. But I d o n ' t i n t e n d to tackle t h e h i s t o r i c a l development of the U S of A , nor the socialogical implications of a m i x e d population. This is the story of a simple h o l i d a y w h i c h began a week or so earlier at three a . m . i n the departure lounge of G a t w i c k A i r p o r t . This is the first thing y o u must k n o w about the U n i t e d States—it is so far away that y o u have to fly to get there. Y o u also need to fill i n a little p i n k f o r m explaining w h o y o u are a n d w h y y o u n e v e r got a n entry v i s a , otherwise the U S i m m i g r a t i o n w i l l stop y o u g o i n g to y o u r hotel, or i n fact a n y w h e r e . F e w people at G a t w i c k seem to k n o w of this a n d so our h o l i d a y k i c k e d off w i t h a couple of hours of pitiful gibbering and w e e p i n g , fearful of refusal at the entry gate. S o o n w e were u p t h o u g h , a n d o n l y eight hours later w e were d o w n again. A brisk w a l k t h r o u g h M i a m i A i r p o r t to our internal flight, on w h i c h n o b o d y h a d bothered to reserve seats for us, and we were u p again. Florida itself is 400 miles long and can be covered by a short h o p o n a plane. Y o u see, A m e r i c a is b i g . So big that anything further than the drugstore at the e n d of the street is usually reached b y automobile, a n d quite often by plane. W e took off i n glorious s u n s h i n e , ( M i a m i was at 90 degrees), a n d l a n d e d i n torrential rain, ( O r l a n d o was at o n l y 86). F l o r i d a is k n o w n as the S u n s h i n e State, and it just can't be a n y t h i n g more than a t o u r i s m ploy because it rained for three days

February 10 1989

Day Five. Several years ago a n abysmal f i l m came out by the name of Jaws 3. It was f i l m e d largely at Sea w o r l d . This is a mix of aquatic sideshows a n d a n i m a l exhibits. Some of the exhibits are a b i t r e p e t i t i v e , b u t t h e s h o w s are impressive a n d f u n , if y o u d o n ' t m i n d a little animal cruelty here a n d there. The interesting bits can be seen in an afternoon, for a mere $21.

Nigel, Chas, Wendy and Bill without a break. W h e n the s u n came out (and it didn't rain again for the next twelve days) the temperature soared a n d we c o u l d o n l y pray for more rain to cool u s down. Orlando Everyone k n o w s of O r l a n d o , if not by name then by the endless list of entertainments there. This really is the Vacation C a p i t a l of the W o r l d , no k i d d i n g . There are so m a n y places to go that y o u have to p l a n y o u r time very carefully, or else move there. O u r bus driver (who we forgot to tip) claimed an acre of l a n d can be bought, built o n , a n d the house f u l l y f u r n i s h e d f o r o n l y $90,000. It is almost cheaper to

emigrate than to rent a r o o m i n Southside a l l year. Hence three quarters of the State population are not native Floridians. Hence also everyone can afford lots of land, a n d even the things w h i c h are close together are far apart. Y o u need a car. E v e r y b o d y has one i n A m e r i c a , f r o m second grade u p w a r d s it s e e m s . O u r s w a s p r o v i d e d by a friend w h o was out there, a n d w e r e m a i n forever grateful to h i m for all the r u n n i n g a r o u n d he d i d . Day O n e . W e went to Spaceport USA. T h i s is the m a i n E a r t h terminal for a l l manner of i n t e r p l a n e t a r y , interstellar a n d intergalactic flight. It is also possible to take a bus tour a r o u n d K e n n e d y

FELIX

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Day Six. O u r transport h a d left for L o n d o n . W e were c o n f i n e d to a hotel a n d i n need of a rest. T he television p r o v i d e d the only nearby entertainment, so we caught u p o n a n u m b e r of v i d e o releases, ate Maltesers, drank C o c a C o l a Classic and tried desperately to pack all the T-shirts w e ' d bought into the cases. N o mean feat. M i a m i Beach The City of M i a m i Beach is an island three miles f r o m M i a m i , across Biscayne Bay. The bay is o n l y four feet deep, so we were told, but to this day I r e m a i n d u b i o u s about that. The beach is famous a n d has c o m e to p r o m i n e n c e t h r o u g h several cameo performances i n a number of movies a n d of course M i a m i V i c e . A string of hotels a n d unfeasibly expensive houses line the

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a c c o m m o d a t i o n b u t it i s also expensive a n d m a n y people are at the mercy of u n s c r u p u l o u s landlords. If y o u want to find out more about y o u r rights as a tenant, then come along a n d speak to the speacialists. Imperial College has over 1,100 O v e r s e a s s t u d e n t s w h o face Welfare covers a w i d e variety of additional problems. M a n y students subjects b u t d u r i n g the W e e k from abroad have only limited leave 13th-17th February the emphasis w i l l be o n Welfare Rights i n the to enter the country a n d m a y Miami Beach < ; icounter difficulties if they need to areas of benefits, h o u s i n g a n d coast, and there are several cinemas, vary this leave or extend its duration immigration. where m u c h of M i a m i Vice is a r e d light area (surprise, surprise) tor a n y reason. There are also f i l m e d . It all looks as pretty a n d Every year m i l l i o n s of p o u n d s ol and a M c D o n a l d s . restrictions r e g a r d i n g rights to expensive as the television series Welfare Benefit goes u n c l a i m e d bv benefits for many overseas students. A s such, this provides a more makes it seem. all sectors of the p o p u l a t i o n . Some The U n i t e d K i n g d o m C o u n c i l for conventional resort. It is a s u n The nightlife of M i a m i exists people are too p r o u d to claim, many Overseas Students Affairs worshippers paradise a n d centre for mostly i n a n area called are put off by the bureaucracy of local excursions. W e took several ' D o w n t o w n ' . T h i s i s also where claiming a n d others just d o not ( U K C O S A ) is an organisation set u p to promote and protect the interests and l a z e d a r o u n d the p o o l for the most of the people i n the w o r l d get realise w h a t their r i g h t s a r e . rest of the time. m u g g e d a n d it is so far f r o m M i a m i Therefore part of this campaign is to of overseas students. It provides advice, training publications Beach that it is difficult to reach raise awareness of Welfare Benefits Key West. This is t h e concerning the issues faced daily by a n y w a y , even if y o u want to get and to encourage students to claim southernmost t i p of Continental students f r o m abroad. O n February what is theirs b y right. y o u r throat cut. W e were forced to U S A . A c t u a l l y it is a n i s l a n d a n d I 16 1989 a representative f r o m s p e n d the evenings at a cinema or can't u n d e r s t a n d h o w it qualifies. A handout has been p r o d u c e d U K C O S A w i l l be available t o eating take away pizzas i n the hotel It's extremely pretty and some of the o u t l i n i n g the benefits w h i c h some answer queries. room, watching T V . b u i l d i n g s date back a l m o s t a or all students can claim. These w i l l h u n d r e d years. Y o u q u i c k l y learn O n the last d a y , the D o l p h i n s be available at v a r i o u s places There are, of course, m a n y other that a n y t h i n g dated earlier than the throughout the College. The played home to G r e e n Bay Packers, situations w h i c h arise w h e n i t ' s second w o r l d w a r is regarded as benefits covered include. and i n the glory o f Joe Robbie important to k n o w one's rights. For antique a n d so such history as exists S t a d i u m w e saw the Packers get H o u s i n g Benefit example what happens if y o u r n e w i n K e y West is p r o u d l y manifest. stuffed, ate hot dogs a n d caught Income Support W a l k m a n chews u p its first tape, A f t e r t a k i n g p i c t u r e s at t h e s u n b u r n . A fitting e n d to a fortnight y o u f i n d a slug i n y o u r lettuce or H e a l t h Benefits m o n u m e n t , w i t h Hurricane Gilbert of alternative entertainment. your next door neighbour keeps y o u Family Credit 200 miles away i n the b a c k g r o u n d awake all night w i t h l o u d music? C h i l d Benefit w e w e n t to the U S M a i l Office. The A m e r i c a These are some of the other areas Disability Benefit teller refused to sell stamps for 'Benefits a n d Rights W e e k ' aims to T h e o n l y generalisation w h i c h can In a d d i t i o n t o t h i s , v a r i o u s Britain. The postal strike was o n and address. T h e U n i o n Welfare be made about A m e r i c a is that it specialists w i l l be available d u r i n g he seemed c o n v i n c e d that o u r cannot be generalised. It w o u l d be lunchtimes i n the J C R to answer A d v i s o r a n d other Benefits/Rights postcards w o u l d be b u r n e d a n d specialists w i l l be available to unfair to d o so o n the basis of a questions (for details see below). d i d n ' t w a n t me to blame h i m w h e n holiday i n Florida anyway. A H o u s i n g , of course, is one of the answer y o u r questions so it's u p to they were. Does anybody country this large (there are o n l y major problems faced b y students. you to exercise your rights a n d come u n d e r s t a n d this? three i n the k n o w n universe w h i c h N o t only is it difficult to f i n d to see t h e m . are bigger) must b y nature be The Everglades. Imagine a n area immensely diverse or terribly of l a n d , 2188 s q u a r e m i l e s , m o n o t o n o u s , a n d w h i l e bits are completely covered w i t h l o n g grass and water. S o u n d boring? It is. F o r u n d o u b t e d l y flat a n d b o r i n g (the a fee y o u can get out amongst all the Everglades, Salt Lake) most is not. This year Imperial College Students' U n i o n has made welfare a h i g h priority. M a r k Fisher, Physics 2, took o n the job of U n i o n Welfare Officer i n late October 1988 a n d the U n i o n has also appointed a full-time Welfare A d v i s o r , Y v e Posner, w h o joined the College i n January.

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grass i n a n airboat, see a f e w alligators s w i m m i n g a r o u n d , a n d wait politely for it all to e n d . T h e gators w o u l d have been interesting but w e ' d seen t h e m earlier, wrestling w i t h some native Indians. I joined i n , shouted ' h a n d b a g ! ' at one then grabbed it w h i l e it c o w e r e d . O k a y , the I n d i a n caught a baby, taped its m o u t h u p a n d passed it t o m e . Same t h i n g . The Indians themselves proved to be the most pleasant people we met, even c o m p a r e d to the D i s n e y clones.

The best guide to most countries, at least i n terms of culture a n d society, is television. Being i n Rome (as the saying goes) w e s w a l l o w e d huge quantities of this m e d i u m . It p r o v i d e d a confused, overbearing and mixed b a g of goodies, entertainment w i t h a n i d e n t i t y crisis. This confirmed m y suspicions that nobody can really explain what a typical A m e r i c a n is, least of all themselves.

In m a n y w a y s t h o u g h the States is similar to Britain. F a r more expensive i n some situations, m u c h O u r r e m a i n i n g week w a s filled cheaper i n others. While I cannot tell spontaneously. A day trip a r o u n d M i a m i w a s s p o i l e d o n l y b y the y o u the best place to go for a h o l i d a y , y o u c o u l d d o m u c h worse promise of D o n Johnson, w h o d i d than Florida. n o t a p p e a r . W e d i d see J F K e n n e d y ' s flame for eternal peace, w h i c h w a s out, a n d w a n d e r e d a r o u n d C o r a l Gables a n d Bayside, A n d y Clarke

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FELIX

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To all the girls w e ' v e kissed before!! l . C R u g b y .

1NXS Let me slap them thighs and ride them nipples - A . S .

To any Orchestral girls with a yellow ribbon, remember this poem!

This lady rabbit lover toyboy a n d her w e l s h rarebits. Clare \. Y o u ' r e so c o m m a n d i n g

A m y Sumner (Life Sciences i) I love y o u . A n d y L a t h a m . To ths . tk i n the FBI IX iittiu> M m bet I . v o u l J n ' t d o this lid.

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N e w s p a p e r editor seeks female c o m p a n i o n for romantic trip to planet Z o g . A p p l y box 1, Felix office.

If y o u ' r e h a p p y a n d y o u k n o w it H u g a Ralph. If y o u ' r e h a p p y a n d y o u k n o w it H u g a Ralph. If y o u ' r e happy a n d y o u k n o w it A n d you want to keep your teeth Get your hands off cos he's mine. Love C a t h .

O h , Anjana, I'm filled with pity, t.'fi i i n i j » ly what's trueAfter tis for half a n h o u r MfeKLrcleuHtsiy h a ; , y o u .

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Let s r u n away together to Polperro - 1 love y o u ' To ' h e secret DocII admirer i n Registry from the secretly admired DocII student T h a n k y o u for givii-g me so m u d trouble. Sorrv for g i v i n g vtiu so m u c h trouble.

A n d not a vase i n sight! I LOVE MASCOT! A . R I still love y o u even though S n o o p y ' s gone!

I love Heather Taylor - " D r " S i m o n Richards.

M e t h i n k s the Suspiciously 1 Theres o n e t h

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1 b i d a lame A d i e u , A n d sit a n d sulk u p o i A s the sad' are p r o n e A n d as I w a l l o w sharr In the dark depths o f The h o u r s seem to d i s A s night falls o'er the The doorbell breaks rw despair;

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Be the f i i ^ . . * \ w i t h the rose A n k e : 1 see y o u in the s w i m m i n g pool I see you i n '-.n- >'.":" I'd like to wear v o u r m ini skirts But I haven't got that far. Yet Love M r . Q .

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n Introduction M y sole purpose i n writing this article is to demonstrate that it is p e r f e c t l y p o s s i b l e to h o l d a fundamentalist C h r i s t i a n faith a n d yet still be a rational scientist. I believe that the concept that there is a dichotomy between science a n d the Bible a n d its claims is fallacious. A more correct idea is that h e l d by the ancient Greeks that science and theology a r e b u t facets o f philosophy. This article w i l l explore three contentious areas: the origins of life, the philosophy of science and the theology of science.

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not d i s p r o v e n t h e o r y is often regarded as a l a w . U s i n g this m e t h o d creation ex n i h i l o a n d evolution can at best be regarded as vague notions, as unless one has travelled i n time, to observe these processes as they are supposed to

incompleteness a n d creationists maintain that it originates f r o m N o a h ' s flood. Molecular Biology The similarity of basic p r o t e i n strutures i n all species leads to the

The o r i g i n o f l i f e C h r i s t i a n s believe that salvation is b y faith; w h y then do so many put so m u c h energy into the creation/ evolution debate w h i c h w o u l d seem to be somewhat irrelevant to the central doctrine of Christianity. The reason is that certain Christians (myself included) commonly labelled as fundamentalists believe the Bible to be the i n s p i r e d w o r d of G o d , the history a n d teaching of w h i c h is to be read as literal; this i n c l u d e s the creation account i n Genesis 1 a n d 2 w h i c h even u p o n cursory examination directly contradicts evolutionary theories developed since the time of D a r w i n . So w h a t are the scientific arguments b e h i n d creationism a n d evolution? F e w w o u l d deny that e v o l u t i o n forms the backbone o f m o d e r n biology w h i c h , if b r o k e n , w o u l d have a far more radical effect o n biology than Einstein's views d i d o n p h y s i c s . Despite o n l y h a v i n g the somewhat elevated state of a theory, e v o l u t i o n is taught as a fact at all levels of b i o l o g y . It is assumed that e v e r y o n e believes it a n d it is considered unscientific not to. Yet the f o l l o w i n g scientists all believed i n creation; J C Babbage, ] A F l e m i n g , L o r d K e l v i n , J Lister, J C M a x w e l l , L Pasteur, L o r d Rayleigh, G Stokes and M Faraday. To present theory as fact is itself a gross scientific misconduct a n d yet can either evolution or creation ex nihilo (from nothing) be regarded scientifically as theory? Scientific method requires observations of a phenomonen to be made f o l l o w e d b y a hypothesis being formulated to explain these observations. O n e t h e n does experiments to try a n d disprove the If, after much hypothesis. e xpe r i m e n ta ti o n , y o u have n o t d i s p r o v e d , it t h e h y p o t h e s i s becomes a ' t h e o r y ' . A universally

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Bishop Samuel Wilberforce have occurred, one cannot conduct experiments to test the accuracy of one's ideas. Therefore scientifically both theories depend on circumstantial evidence a n d conjecture, the basis of w h i c h can always be d i s p u t e d a n d yet never objectively resolved. The concept of e v o l u t i o n is t h e s p o n t a n e o u s occurrence of mutations resulting i n variation between individuals w h i c h are selected by the environment to the benefit of those individuals best adapted to it.

construction of evolutionary trees. It is equally plausable that a rational G o d w o u l d have a basic adaptable unit of design. Anthropology The evidence for the decent of m a n is far f r o m conclusive. Age of the Earth D e p e n d s o n the m e t h o d u s e d . Measurements o n aluminium deposits give a n estimate of 100 years!

Creation ex nihilo argues that G o d created the w o r l d f r o m n o t h i n g as The philosophy of science. per the Genesis account a n d that It w a s Aristotle w h o first p u t science purely observes what has f o r w a r d the concept of theology been made. w h i c h states that all that can be I shall n o w give more examples of observed i n the universe tends equivocal evidence used b y towards its cause, ie G o d . This belief protaganists of the tw o theories b e f o r e c o n s i d e r i n g G o d a n d was h e l d i n the early c h u r c h . The initiation of the dichotomy between miracles. science a n d religion was caused by the publication of S u m m a TheoFossil Record logiae a n d S u m m a C o n t r a Gentiles Evolutionists cannot explain its

FELIX

by St. Thomas of A q u i n u s i n the thirteenth century. This argued for the use of reason w i t h i n faith a n d this is the forerunner of m o d e r n apologetics. In the fiffeeenth century W i l l i a m of O c c u m d e v e l o p e d what is c o m m o n l y called O c c u m ' s Razor P r i n c i p l e ie that t h e s i m p l e s t hypothesis that accounts for the observed data is probably the most correct. The birth of m o d e r n science was i n the sixteenth century w i t h C o p e r n i c u s ' s T h e o r y of t h e heliocentric universe a n d Bacon's development of m o d e r n scientific m e t h o d w i t h hypotheses b e i n g substantiated by observed data a n d not b y reason as h a d previously been the case. Does science have limits w i t h i n w h i c h it can operate? Science cannot e x p l a i n w h e r e precisely the universe came f r o m however elaborate Big Bang theories may become. Science cannot explain scientific l a w b u t c a n merely elucidate w h a t it is f r o m t h e phenomena observed. For example w h y are there positive, neutral a n d negative electrical charges, w h y 3 s u c h charges a n d not four? Science is a consequence a n d not a cause of the laws of creation that it observes. It s e e k s t o u n i f y o b s e r v e d phenomena believing there to be an integrity to creation a n d the w h y s must be left to p h i l o s o p h y a n d theology. It is interesting to observe that 'Das K a p i t a l ' b y M a r x w a s p u b l i s h e d i n 1848, 11 years prior to 'The O r i g i n of Species' by D a r w i n i n 1859. M a r x ' s famous one liner was 'religion is the o p i u m of the people', a n d yet has c o m m u n i s m brought any greater happinesss to the w o r l d than religion? T H H u x l e y and C Lyell, both fierce protagonists of D a r w i n ' s views, were s w o r n atheists (Darwin became a Christian just before his death a n d realised that G o d was b e h i n d creation). It m ay be reasonably stated that the adoption of evolutionary theory by the scientific c o m m u n i t y of the late nineteenth century was a deliberate attempt to free it f r o m w h a t it regarded as the shackles of the C h u r c h . Since then e v o l u t i o n has been used to further the causes of M a r x i s m a n d scientific h u m a n i s m a n d to disprove G o d . The result of this prevalence of science i n society can only lead to the conclusion that 'science is the o p i u m of the people'. Yet to return to the principle of Occum's Razor evolutionists i n their attempts to prove evolution b e y o n d doubt produce ever more complex and esoteric ideas w h i c h v i e w e d by "The Razor' seem ever less plausible

February 10 1989

n as the t r u t h . The theology of science Science a n d technology are the religion of the twentieth century. In m a n y cases scientific theory Comes across as scientific fact i n lectures and past a n d present scientists of eminent status are h e l d i n awe. This is a i d e d b y the principle of scientific inertia where n e w ideas are rejected for n o greater a reason than the p r e v a i l i n g scientific establishment not w i s h i n g to admit to being w r o n g . Furthermore this cult is p r o m o t e d b y the use of evermore esoteric terms w h i c h even fellow scientists out of that particular field cannot often understand,let alone the average person in the street w h o h o l d s science i n awe, believing it to be t h e a n s w e r t o t h e w o r l d ' s problems. Y e t I believe that the universe is but a transient state of G o d ' s w i l l a n d that the s u p p o s e d w i s d o m of m e n w i l l prove i n the e n d t o b e meaningless as t h e universe passes a w a y .

s y Student loans a n d the associated benefit cuts f o r m the biggest ever threat to education i n this country in recorded history. Contrary to popular o p i n i o n the benefit cuts are not i n the w h i t e paper for student loans, but were passed i n last year's Social Security Reforms B i l l . These cuts are total, and w i l l mean that students c a n claim no benefits either during term time or over the S u m m e r vacation. This includes rent rebates, h o u s i n g benefit, a n d income s upplem ent.

In full k n o w l e d g e of this he proceeded to write a n 'Executive announcement' he k n e w to be factually incorrect. T h e actual content of this announcement, a n d its w o r d i n g were never agreed by I C U Executive. This factually incorrect a n n o u n cement, along w i t h the correct but incomplete ' L o a ns d e m o faces set back' news story i n F E L I X was the o n l y information students were permitted to receive, a n d o n the basis of these most students decided that the march was liable to be a badly organised riot.

The L o n d o n Loans C a m p a i g n group (the organisers) p r o d u c e d a poster, a n d a leaflet to promote the march, but these posters were t o r n d o w n by the U n i o n . Students w i l l also have to pay 20% These posters d i d not contravene p o l l tax, although this m a y be any of the U n i o n publicity rules, and increased to 50%. N o increase i n w h e n asked for the reason for grant w i l l be made to compensate removal of the posters, Ian M o r r i s for this. For many students this w i l l ( H o n Sec Events), read through the result i n an ÂŁ800 per a n n u m loss of rules a n d settled o n rule ten. This income, a n d a projected debt of is as followsÂŁ6000 over a three year course. A l l Despite so many breakthroughs i n 10. Interpretation Interpretation of these figures are before the grant is m o d e r n science the w o r l d appears these rules rests w i t h I C U H o u s e frozen. to face more and more disasters and Commitee a n d the I C U publicity problems w i t h each passing year. This w i l l have knock o n effects i n officer. Science can solve the problems of education as students w i t h large m a l n u t r i t i o n a n d disease i n the debts w i l l not be able to to accept I then asked h i m w h i c h rule he w o r l d a n d yet its results can often poorly paid teaching jobs, was interpreting, a n d he restated not be implemented due to society's p r o d u c i n g a shortage of qualified rule 10. political a n d m o r a l inadequacy. ' A ' level teachers. Since he was not interpreting any Furthermore disasters and accidents This w i l l then, over a p e r i o d of rule he c o u l d not invoke rule 10. w i l l always occur to the e n d of time. five years, create a massive collapse Since then Ian h a s been Yet M a r x i s m a n d Scientific in education, as teachers w i l l not be approached by F i z z M a r s h ( U n i o n H u m a n i s m are based o n the concept able to train students to a standard Publicity Officer) a n d asked for an that h u m a n nature is inherently to make t h e m caoable of teaching explanation. H e then changed his g o o d despite it b e i n g a result of ' O ' level. This w i l l increase the m i n d a n d s a i d that House r a n d o m chaotic evolutionary shortage of educated people, a n d Committee agreed that all posters p r o c e s s e s w h i c h M a r x i s m a n d p e o p l e w h o a r e e d u c a t e d are must have the name of an i C U club Scientific H u m a n i s m h o l d to be needed by i n d u s t r y . It seems that on them. This was not a valid excuse true. we are starting a five year charter to for the following two reasons-1) The destroy the education system w h i c h posters h a d I C U S W S S w r i t t e n o n I t h i n k that it takes as m u c h faith took so l o n g to achieve. There w i l l to believe i n e v o l u t i o n as it does to them. 2) rule 11 of the publicity rules also be a massive class divide set u p clearly statesbelieve i n Jesus a n d the claims that d e n y i n g some of the country's most he made. H o w e v e r , people prefer to 11. Alteration Alteration of these intelligent people a univeristy believe i n the former rather than the rules is subject to a majority decision education. Despite this our U n i o n latter as it makes t h e m feel more i n by I C U C o u n c i l . is d o i n g its best to deny students control of their destiny; talk of information concerning action being Christ a n d the Bible makes them feel Therefore H o u s e Committee h a d taken to fight loans, a n d is i n some uncomfortable. I think that m o d e r n no p o w e r to make such a decision cases deliberately l y i n g , so as to and by not a l l o w i n g the posters to science h a s i n itself become a mislead students. This was most religion w h i c h is the very t h i n g that be d i s p l a y e d I a n a n d N i g e l notable o n the First of February it was originally t r y i n g to escape overturned a decision of C o u n c i l , demonstration, organised b y a f r o m a n d still tries to remain distinct and broke the constitution to w h i c h committee of seven, consisting of six f r o m . O n e must ask the question: they are b o u n d . U n i o n presidents, a n d a member of 'Does science limit m y perception of O n the day (Wednesday 1st) we the U L U Executive. God o r does G o d fulfil m y p r o v e d ourselves. The march was perception of science? ' T h e O f these s e v e n , n o n e w e r e w e l l stewarded, a n d over t w o centrality of science i n m o d e r n members of the Socialist Workers thousand people attended. T h e t h i n k i n g means that m a n y people Party a n d o n l y one, namely K e i t h march stayed o n the route, a n d f i n d it imposible to have a B u d d en ( U L U Executive), a member there was not a single arrest. perception of G o d . Yet science can of M i l i t a n t . Of course most of y o u w o n ' t have neither prove nor d i s p r o v e G o d : O n T u e s d a y 24th J a n u a r y I been o n the march, or k n o w m u c h ' F o r since the creation of the w o r l d personally i n f o r m e d N i g e l Baker about it's organisation and success, G o d ' s invisible qualities - his eternal that he could get any information he but so l o n g as no-one complains p o w e r a n d d i v i n e nature - have needed about the march from either w h e n y o u r Executive lie to y o u , or been clearly seen, being understood of the S O A S co-presidents. I also restrict y o u r access to information f r o m w h a t has been made, so that i n f o r m e d h i m that the organising y o u w i l l retain ' y o u r right to be m e n are w i t h o u t excuse.' group were not members of Socialist deceived'. (Romans lv20) Worker. Andy (not SWSS) Garside

February 10 1989

FELIX

R R R Just for once, Walter intends to leave the w h o l e miserable business of U n i o n politics alone for this week, and to concentrate o n a far worthier matter. That's right, friends a n d neighbours, it's that Valentines time of year again. Different people celebrate the day of St Valentine for different reasons. A m o n g our o w n ranks, Eric A s h celebrates because it reminds h i m of w h e n he met Clare, a n d C h a s B r e r e t o n celebrates b e c a u s e it r e m i nd h i m of the massacre. Walter celebrates for the simple reason that this is one season w h e n love is i n the air, a n d w h e n the w h o l e of the race is, at least theoretically, i n h a r m o n y . In the spirit of this h a r m o n y , y o u r columnist w o u l d like to suggest a set of matches w h i c h he feels c o u l d be made a m o n g various public figures, b o t h w i t h i n a n d w i t h o u t this institution. T o start w i t h , t h e C a t e r i n g Manager Rob N o r t h e y s h o u l d team u p w i t h either of the Roux brothers. M r N o r t h e y ' s cuisine c o u l d o n l y benefit f r o m this, a n d the Roux Brothers have s h o w n a certain naiveity i n c o m m e r c i a l matters which Rob the Fixer w o u l d soon put p a i d to. Cecil P a r k i n s o n , w h o has been psychoanalysed as being i n need of a mother-figure, s h o u l d try a match with M r s Jen H a r d y - Smith, who i n addition to providing a mother-figure, w o u l d also keep h i m w e l l o n the straight a n d n a r r o w . M a r y Whitehouse's h u s ba n d - poor man - really ought to see the other side of life as p r o v i d e d by C y n t h i a Paine, a n d as for M r s W h i te h o u s e herself, Walter recommends a dose of H a r v e y Proctor; this s h o u l d at least be entertaining. The w o r l d of entertainment itself c ould see the meeting of Terry W o g a n , w h o brings junk television to the boobs a m o n g the populace, and S k y T V s latest f i n d , D o l l y Parton, w h o brings boob television to the junk a r o u n d the w o r l d . A n d finally - f o r there must always be an ' a n d f i n a l l y ' - Walter w o u l d dearly love to see the U n i o n of Margaret Thatcher a n d N e i l Kinnock, to be subtitled " G r u e s o m e Grocer and the W e l s h W i m p " . O h , to be a fly o n the w a l l

Page 13

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l The P o l l Tax or C o m m u n i t y Charge w i l l take effect i n Scotland f r o m the b e g i n n i n g of A p r i l , a n d the rest of us w i l l get it the f o l l o w i n g A p r i l . To the average member of the public it w i l l mean a bill of £200-£300, a n d to students £50-£100 per year. The Poll Tax w i l l take over f r o m the present rating system whereby local councils generate income by charging people according to the rateable value of their houses. Everyone (apart f r o m the mentally ill, elderly people living in homes a n d hospitals, a n d convicted prisoners) even foreign residents w i l l have to pay. Students w i l l be entitled to a 80% reduction if they register at their College address. Estimates of the charge/tax vary h o r n borough to borough, with central L o n d o n generally having the highest levels (see table). Westminster Borough (which covers Southside a n d m a n y intercollegiate halls) w o u l d have charged £448 h a d this been the first year of the P o l l Tax. T h u s 2 0 % of £448 = 89.60. It is still possible f o r students to register at home; however, it seems that then y o u w o u l d have to pay the full a m o u n t , not a clever idea. This does not refer to registering to vote at h o m e a n d at College w h i c h is still possible. L o c a l councils w i l l s e n d o u t registration forms i n the a u t u m n w h i c h must be returned. There is a fine of 10% of the bill for non-return. T h i s process h a s occurred i n Scotland, where the M i n i s t e r f o r Scotland, M a l c o l m R i f k i n , claimed that 99% of those eligible to pay h a d registered. C a m p a i g n s f o r n o n return h a d been organised b y the Scottish Nationalist Party, several rebel L a b o u r M P s a n d some clergy. The response of the Labour Party to the P o l l Tax featured heavily i n the G l a s g o w G o r a n by-election, i n w h i c h the S N P w o n w i t h a large t u r n a r o u n d i n the L a b o u r vote. Scotland became a testing g r o u n d as the Tories feared devastation at the polls after revaluation increased rates b y u p to 300% u n d e r the o l d system. N o n - p a y m e n t of t h e tax w i l l i n v o l v e a surcharge of £ 5 0 o n t o p of the b i l l . There are claims that m a n y councils w i l l be unable to collect all the P o l l Tax d u e to it because of the difficulties i n v o l v e d w i t h k e e p i n g track of people. U n d e r the present system, w h i c h has a h i g h collection rate, thanks largely to the fact that houses, unlike people hardly move, m a n y boroughs achieve 9 8 % registering. H o w e v e r B i r m i n g h a m

Page 14

C i t y C o u n c i l estimated i n the last year of its existence that they collected just 81%. The contention b e h i n d the P o l l Tax h a s a l o n g h i s t o r y , first appearing i n 1377 as a tax of a Groat per head o n people over the age of 16. T h e tax was increased but as a sliding scale i n 1379 peasants still paid one grout. Then the Parliament of Christmas 1380 i m p o s e d a P o l l Tax of o n e shilling o n peasants rising for the more well off. This sparked off the Peasants Revolt of 1381 i n w h i c h Wyatt Tyler achieved fame. After then the tax was only i m p o s e d o n foreigners l i v i n g i n Britain. P o l l taxes d o not always raise the amount of money expected. T h e difficulty with a shortfall i n collection is that simultaneous w i t h the abolition of domestic rates, businesses w i l l not pay rates direct to local councils. A national business rate w i l l be set, a n d all money collected w i l l b e redistributed to councils according to p o p u l a t i o n rather than the locality of the area. The twelve inner L o n d o n boroughs currently receive £1,123 m i l l i o n i n business rate income. H a d t h e N a t i o n a l Business Tax been i n force last year, this income w o u l d have d r o p p e d to £447 million, a decrease of 60%. Some of the shortfall m a y have to be met b y P o l l Tax payers. The Business Rates w i l l be fixed so any council w h i c h overspends its budget w i l l have to transfer all the extra b u r d e n onto the rate payer. There are several questions raised b y a c o m p u l s o r y registration for the tax w i t h regards civil liberties. Foreign residents w h o w i s h to remain a n o n y m o u s f r o m certain government forces w i l l probably be able to come to an arrangement with their local council to assume a n alias for the purpose of the register. The spectre of 'snooper' has been raised; many people fear that there may be an army of collectors searching for non-payers, a n d if these people d o come into operation w h i c h files are they g o i n g to be a l l o w e d to see? Officially such things as the electoral register w i l l not be used, but it does seem a little difficult to imagine that they w o u l d n o t check u p o n someone w h o w a s registered to vote, but not registered to pay the tax. N o n - p a y m e n t w i l l carry a surcharge of £ 5 0 o n top of the final bill. So y o u m a y be asking, so w h a L surely the difference w i l l be met b y a d r o p i n h a l l fees o r rents when.

rates are taken out? This, sadly, is not automatically the case. T h e rates for College halls are p a i d for b y the U G C a n d intercollegiate halls have their's p a i d for b y the U n i v e r s i t y C o u r t Department w h i c h is U G C f u n d e d . T h e U G C is itself o n the verge of abolition a n d so it seems very u n l i k e l y that the replacement University F u n d i n g Committee w i l l pay your P o l l Tax. A c c o m m o d a t i o n outside halls w i l l not necessarily go d o w n automatically for the rents w o u l d have to be registed before landlords h a d a legal obligation to reduce t h e m w i t h the abolition of rates. M o s t rents do not fall into this category. Student grants w i l l not be increased to p a y for the extra expenditure. So w h a t are t h e alternatives? O p p o s i t i o n parties agree w i t h the G o v e r n m e n t that t h e p r e s e n t system is not fair. H o w e v e r , they believe the P o l l Tax to be even more unfair. The Labour Party w o u l d like to introduce a combination of local income tax a n d property tax. T h e Democrats w o u l d like to see a local income tax.

O p i n i o n Bit "The Poll Tax is fair only i n the sense that the Black Death was fair; it is indiscriminate, striking y o u n g a n d o l d , rich a n d poor, e m p l o y e d a n d u n e m p l o y e d alike'—Tory Reform G r o u p , M a r c h 1987. A s this is a n o p i n i o n article I shall

resist f r o m calling the P o l l Tax a C o m m u n i t y Charge, f o r it is b y definition a tax o n v o t i n g . H a v i n g campaigned i n several local elections it is clear that the present rating system is u n p o p u l a r , a n d frequently the example is g i v e n of a grey haired o l d w i d o w p a yi n g the same rates for her semi as the M r and M r s Jones a n d w o r k i n g s o n o r daughter next door. The unfairness of the system is not just that one person is p a y i n g the same as three, but that there is a differential i n incomes. A t present it happens that a hand ful of areas of a borough may pay the majority of the rates for that t o w n . H o w e v e r , they are out-voted at district elections by people w h o are not affected so m u c h b y the increase i n rates. T h u s resentment has b u i l t u p w h e n e v e r rates increase. T h e Conservatives hope that by m a k i n g everyone (bar the poor a n d other exceptions) pay the same that the chances of the Conservatives gaining control of councils increases. T he P o l l Tax w i l l also further d i m i n i s h the student grant yet further as n o allowance w i l l be m a d e . T h e P o l l Tax w i l l also cost more (about twice as m u c h as present rates) to collect, a n d there w i l l be more bureaucracy. It has been said that a hearth tax (or a w i n d o w tax (1697-1815) w o u l d be fairer. A n y w a y the proof of the tax w i l l come i n A p r i l 1990 w h e n it arrives through letter boxes a n d the e n s u i n g district elections.

Greater L o n d o n

Student figures i n brackets

h Camden Hammersmith Kensington Westminster Hounslow Richmond

l r

l

639.00 578.00 340.00 373.00 243.00 259.00

(127.80) (115.60) I 68.00) ( 74.60) ( 48.60) ( 51.80)

t 438.00 347.00 384.00 448.00 277.00 325.00

( ( ( I ( (

87.60) 69.40) 76.80) 89.60) 55.40) 65.00)

r Chelmsford Ipswich Guildford Rochdale Bath Middlesborough Llamelli Edinburgh City

229.00 215.00 266.00 278.00 259.00 282.00 160.00 334.00*

304.00 238.00 339.00 228.00 238.00 254.00 137.00

* Includes water charges. The following tables show Government estimates of Poll Tax/Community Charges. Sources: Parliamentary Written Answers 10th and 23rd May 1988.

FELIX

February 10 1989

s n d

n T he E d i t o r i a l B o a r d of L o n d o n Student, the n e w s p a p e r of the University of L o n d o n U n i o n ( U L U ) , v o t e d at a n Emergency G e n e r a l M e e t i n g ( E G M ) o n M o n d a y to become the first student newspaper in the country to have a staff editor. T he vote h a s r a i s e d questions c o n c e r n i n g the loss of editorial freedom for the paper, w h i c h is n o w u n d e r the editorial control of U L U . The E G M w a s called to discuss the financial situation of the paper, w h i c h faces a projected deficit of £22,000 b y June. T h e paper has operated w i t h o u t a student editor since the resignation of sabbatical editor Jane H e a d o n last t e r m .

Nicola Jones, Vice-President of U L U w i t h responsibility for Finance and A d m i n i s t r a t i o n , proposed the a p p o i n t m e n t of staff m e m b e r Lawrence Cosnett as editor. T h e m o t i o n w a s passed b y the five representatives attending the E G M . M i s s Jones explained that the move was a 'temporary measure o n l y ' and that she h o p e d it w o u l d be possible to return the editorial control of the newspaper to a student sabbatical i n the next academic year. A t the General University Council on Tuesday. M i s s Jones proposed an increase i n grant f o r L o n d o n Student.

n T he U n i o n w i l l be h o l d i n g a series of events i n the U n i o n B u i l d i n g o n T h u r s d a y i n support of the N a t i o n a l U n i o n of Students ( N U S ) campaign against student loans. Students voted to boycott lectures at the U n i o n G e n e r a l M e e t i n g last Tuesday but the College has d e c l i n ed to co-operate b y retimetabling lectures. T he events i n t h e U n i o n w i l l include a speech by M P for Tottenham Bernie Grant a n d a letter writing session. A comedian, a M a r x Brothers' f i l m , a p o o l competition and a table football competition are 'so p l a n n e d . T h e U n i o n B a r w i l l

also be o p e n a l l d a y w i t h a Furstenberg Fest Bier p r o m o t i o n . The day w i l l be ended b y a R a g ' G a m i n g N i g h t ' , w i t h a casino and horse racing. In L o n d o n , .the N a t i o n a l U n i o n of Students in L o n d o n ( N U S L o n d o n ) are h o p i n g to organise a 'rally' outside the Department of Education a n d Science. A spokesman for N U S L o n d o n told F E L I X that publicity w a s being p r o d u c e d for the ; ally o n Tuesday although N U S L c n d o n are still i n negotiations w i t h the Police to obtain p e r m i s s i on for it.

R British Rail is offering half price rail fares to Y o u n g Persons Railcard holders until February 25. Railcards are also o n sale at half the n o r m a l price of £15 until February 25. 16 to 23 year-olds and mature students in full-time education are eligible for a railcard.

British Rail is also h o l d i n g a ' T r i p to F a m e ' c o m p e t i t o n , o p e n to anyone eligible to h o l d a Railcard, w i t h a first prize of a n Inter-Rail card. Further details are available i n the U n i o n a n d Student Travel offices.

l a

Students will, have to carry their U n i o n Cards w i t h t h e m over the w e e k e n d , if they w i s h to u s e College a n d U n i o n bars. There w i l l be card checks at the entrance to Southside Bar a n d the U n i o n B u i l d i n g . The action is being taken to prevent any damage to facilities by students f r o m the C a m b o u r n e School of M i n e s w h o are visiting I C for the A n n u a l 'Bottle m a t c h ' ; a rugby match between the R o y a l School of M i n e s a n d C a m b o u r n e .

A g r o u p of students f r o m the University of L o n d o n are u r g i n g people to ' L o v e the W o r l d ' o n St Valentine's N i g h t . ' L o v e the W o r l d ' is the title of w h a t is described as a 'multi-cultural' extravaganza; a two h o u r concert f e a t u r i n g student groups a n d artistes. O v e r 2500 people are expected to attend the event. Tickets are available f r o m the B l o o m s b u r y Box Office, 15 G o r d o n Square, W C 1 (Tel: 01-387 9629).

n Imperial College U n i o n took part i n the U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n U n i o n ' s ( U L U ) v i g i l at the Departemnt of E d u c a t i o n of Science (DES) o n M o n d a y . The three sabbatical U n i o n Officers h e l d a vigil from 8.15am to 3pm, in support of U L U ' s campaign against student loans. D u r i n g the vigil they h a n d e d o u t leaflets to people entering the D E S , i n c l u d i n g Secretary of State for Education, M r K e n n e t h Baker, M P .

Speaking o n the event I C U H o n o r a r y Secretary (Events), I an M o r r i s , told F E L I X that he felt the vigil h a d been a success. H e a d d e d that they h a d collected over 120 signatures o n a petition for the N U S campaign against student loans, throughout the day. H e went o n to say that h e felt the m a i n a i m for student campaigns was to increase awareness amongst parents.

d Faced with further political wranglings a n d scandals last week W e n d y 'just want a quiet life' M o rris finally f l i p p e d . O v e r w h e l m e d b y t h e authoritative action taken by N i g e l Baker i n s u m m o n i n g Geoff Reeves to eject the C I A , M r M o r r i s was heard to w h i m p e r T d o n ' t want any of t h i s ' . H e then curled u p into a foetal position a n d shortly afterwards h o p p e d away m a k i n g c r o a k i n g noises. O u r researchers have discovered plans to flood the H o n Sec (Events) Office a n d install a lilly p a d .

H o w e v e r D e p u t y President M r Charles Brereton denies a l l knowledge.

e

EVERYDAY Page 6

Elections

ELECTIONS FELIX

POST

-£I_ECT IONS February 10 1989

s

e It's C h r i s t m a s Eve and N e w Y o r k cop John M c C i a n e (Bruce Willis) flies to Los Angeles bearing gifts and h o p i n g to patch u p his marriage. H a n s Gruber (Alan Rickman) is also i n L A , but he's not there to give out presents. H e ' s there to take more t h a n $600 m i l l i o n i n exchangeable bearer bonds f r o m the multinational Nakatomi Corporation, where M c C l a n e ' s w i f e is an executive. M c C i a n e arrives i n the midst of a Christmas party i n celebration of the c o m p a n y ' s most successful year ever. M e a n w h i l e , G r u b e r and a dozen fellow terrorists are m e t i c u l o u s l y sealing off the b u i l d i n g , after w h i c h they take the staff hostage. But M c C i a n e is not

y t

amongst them. H e has taken it u p o n himself to disrupt their finely laid plans, armed o n l y w i t h his service automatic. The terrorists are packing U z i sub-machine guns a n d plastic explosives, a n d they d o n ' t stand a chance. The fairly routine plot structure H u n c h b a c k of N o t r e D a m e meets T o w e r i n g Inferno - is transformed via some refined direction by John M c T i e r n a n (Predator), skillfully efficient a n d absorbing acting, a n d some caustic h u m o u r a n d satire, into a brilliant and thrilling example of h o w an action movie s h o u l d be made. Bruce W i l l i s ' previous disastrous forays into the m o t i o n picture biz (Blind Date, Sunset) can be forgiven. H e sheds h i s smart-ass image be c o m i ng a tough g u y , reluctant hero. C l a d i n a white vest a n d r u n n i n g a r o u n d i n bare feet he carefully assesses the strengths a n d weaknesses of h i s adversaries,

H a l is c r o w n e d H e n r y V a n d rejects his former companions. H e n r y IV part 2 relies heavily o n part 1. I n structure it is similar, h a v i n g a largely comic first act and a more serious second act; the scenes roughly correspond to those in part 1. There is a substantial c o n t i n u a t i o n o f character a n d theme, m a k i n g it a play best seen w i t h a k n o w l e d g e of part 1. The play builds u p through both acts to the reconciliation scene, m u c h of the action points towards this. Throughout the play i n Michael C r o n i n as H e n r y I V w e see a character battling to appear t o u g h and struggling w i t h h i s guilt of u s u r p i n g the c r o w n (which he begins to see as a curse); h i s thoughts about H a l become more desperate as his illness gets worse.

E n g l a n d is still troubled by civil war. H a l , t h e P r i n c e of W a l e s h a s resumed to his bawd y haunts. H a l ' s friend Falstaff, a decadent, inept and o l d k n i g h t , is i n t h e C o t s w o l d s p u t t i n g his n e w f o u n d , false, glory for great financial advantage. A n e w g r o u p of rebels l e d by the A r c h b i s h o p of Y o r k , b u i l d a n e w a r m y . T he rebels are confronted by the K i n g ' s son, Prince John, and are captured. H a l realises a n d embraces h i s Henry IV is dying; o n his responsibilities as the play develops, deathbed he a n d H a l are reconciled.

becoming a 'spanner i n the w o r k s , a m o n k e y i n the w r e n c h ' . W i l l i s is quite excellent i n the role, displaying a hitherto unforseen aptitude for this action-adventure stuff. But he really is totally upstaged by a wickedly sophisticated a n d sardonic portrayal of G r u b e r b y R i c k m a n , an R S C actor, previously renowned for his stage performance in Les Liaisons Dangereuses. H e is the ultimate i n cool-dome; assured, smooth and deadly. H e electrifies the screen w i t h his presence a n d is o d d l y appealing. T a m not a n ordinary thief, I a m an exceptional t h i e f he roars w i t h a maniacal intensity. The f i l m engages our emotions from the outset and makes us cry out at the ineptitude a n d downright idiotic antics of the police a n d FBI agents, w h o can never get their act together. T h e FBI i n particular, represented by A g e n t Johnson a n d Special Agent Johnson (no relation), are hilarious, dressed in expensive

finally emerging as a k i n g w i t h w h o m we feel E n g l a n d w i l l be safe. In the first half w e are treated to fine comic scenes; these are centred in an Eastcheap i n n and later, i n the Cots wolds. Barry Stanton as Falstaff provides an excellent comic focus. H i s cowardice a n d c u n n i n g d r o p h i m into tricky situations out of w h i c h he wriggles (or waddles) his way. Falstaff is the perfect buffoon, he realises this to some extent saying; T a m not only witty i n myself, but the cause of w i t i n other m e n ' T h r o u g h a l l h i s u s i n g scheming Falstaff displays a real affection for H a l , always having in m i n d (though often h i s motives are selfish), i n v e n t i n g n e w amusements f o r Prince H a r r y . Falstaff uses his friendliness w i t h H a l to borrow money a n d w i n favour. The final scene i n w h i c h H a l

s s If he w h o lives by the s w o r d also dies by the s w o r d , then what of the man w h o lives b y the powers of seduction? Choderlos de Laclos first posed this question i n his erotic n o v e l , Les Liaisons Dangereuses. His story of t h e n i m b l e gamesmanship of the pre-revolution French aristocracy was turned into a successful play by the R S C , w h i c h rivetted audiences w i t h a series of psychological twists. N o w comes

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suits, shades a n d Rambo mentalities. Stereotypes maybe, but g o o d f u n all the same. There are n o doubts about the entertainment value of this f i l m . It is t e n s e , g r i p p i n g , i n p a r t s intentionally hilarious, and it'll have y o u j u m p i n g i n y o u r seats. This is something y o u w o n ' t want to miss. Sumit Guha

FELIX

rejects Falstaff, gives Falstaff a severe knock a n d he is broken (for a w h i l e at least). This p r o d u c t i o n is a little r o u g h at the the edges. Sometimes s u p p o r t i n g cast delivers its lines w i t h a lacklustre manner (many of its members have large roles in other plays) but the standard is generally h i g h . The mix of costumes f r o m different periods helps emphasise the characters f r o m H e n r y IV d o w n to the tavern derelicts. M i c h a e l Bogdanov has i n c l u d e d some g o o d directional tricks w h i c h bring fresh life to an already spirited play. This is a good p r o d u c t i o n , getting the balance between comedy and seriousness right. Seeing it after H e n r y IV p a r t i w o u l d be best; the t w o together m a k i n g a g o o d set although p a r t i stands well o n its own. Patrick Smith the b i g screen Hollywood adaptation starring G l e n n Close (Fatal Attraction), John M a l k o v i t c h (Empire of the Sun), arid M i c h e l l e Pfeiffer (Witches of Eastwick). The screenplay keeps true to the spirit of the play, both h a v i n g been written by C h r i s t o p h e r H a m p t o n , and the period details and locations look s t u n n i n g . The f i l m is set i n a time of legendary decadence, w i t h wealthy, perfumed characters fully dedicated to the pursuit of their o w n pleasure. T h ey s p i n for themselves a plot of labyrinthine sexual intrigue as they succumb to each others seduction. Dangerous Liaisons promises to be a visual delight, but w i l l probably go d o w n with countless others as a film w h i c h d i d n ' t quite match its stage impact. Release Date 10th M a r c h . Sumit Guha

February 10 1989

s officer L l u e l l e n , puts such strength a n d conviction into his part as to leave an impression that the W e l s h are unparalleled i n patriotism. A n d w h o w o u l d disagree? T he D a u p h i n , p e r f o r m e d b y A n d r e w Jarvis, has a madness a n d volatility, a n d not least a f u n n y T he W a r s of the Roses : Episode 4. w a l k , w h i c h convinced me that he Y o u n g Prince H a l , likely l a d , w a s n ' t acting at all. I look toward to reveller, d r i n k e r of sack, is k i n g . H e seeing h i m as Richard III next week. W h e n I went into this f i l m , I has r e v o k e d his past, transformed John D o u g a l l , i n the guise of the assumed it w o u l d be some k i n d of to a d u l t h o o d a n d decided to claim k i n g , ensures that th e central M a f i a , u n d e r w o r l d type thriller. F r a n c e as h i s o w n , o n t h e character is never superceded. I n This theory was confirmed by the consultation of the A r c h b i s h o p of each scene he appears, full attention appearance of a ' F i l m N o i r ' type Canterbury. remains o n his every m o v e m e nt or private investigator called M a l l a r d The French are informed, but take w o r d . D o u g a l l draws the audience (possible rip-off of M a r l o w ) . M r i n a n d refuses to release t h e m . the threat l i g h t l y . H e n r y assembles M a l l a r d is l u r e d to f i n d some jewels his armies, deals w i t h a few rebels This p r o d u c t i o n has to be h i g h l y of suspect o r i g i n b y a n affluent at Southampton, and sets sail for the r e c o m m e n d e d to a l l , a n d must client. continent. A m o n g s t the soldiers are surely be strong competition f o r A t this point the attractive female Pis to l, B a r d o l p h a n d N y m , o l d similar compilation at the Barbican. co-star turns u p . The usual happens friends from the Boar's H e a d The O l d V i c is very pretty, a n d the between h e r a n d M r . M a l l a r d , it Tavern, and sources of h u m o u r a n d ice-cream excellent, if expensive. In turns out that she is also after the lessons i n morality. a w o r d faultless. jewels. This is complicated by the Andrew Clarke. The t o w n of Harfleur is taken and the Battle of A g i n c o u r t commences. H e n r y ' s army is o u t n u m b e r e d 5 to 1 y e t sustains o n l y thirty losses c o m p a r e d to 10,000 French deaths. W i t h the battle lost the French K i n g Charles V I surrenders to H e n r y ' s terms. Marriage is p r o p o s e d to K a t h e r i n e , C h a r l e s ' daughter, w h o accepts.

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fact that despite appearances, she is i n fact d e a d . This poses some interesting questions. W h a t possible use does a corpse have for 1 m i l l i o n dollars of jewellery? W h a t is the legal p o s i t i o n of s o m e o ne g u i l t y of unpremeditated necrophilia? W h a t a m I d o i n g i n this cinema? A n y w a y the plot trundles along with the occasional 'shock revelations' y o u have anticipated for at least 30 minutes. This is basically of t w o - d i m e n s i o n a l a story characters i n v o l v e d i n a plot of contradictions s u c h as the fact that going to bed w i t h a ghost is a fatal experience (even w i t h a condom) yet M a l l a r d l o o k s r e m a r k a b l y healthy at the e n d . Basically a f i l m that spends far too l o n g getting going a n d b y the time s o m e t h i n g does, y o u w i s h it h a d n ' t bothered. Mike Morton

In order that this simple historical story b e c o m e s a n e n t e r t a i n i n g p r o d u c t i o n , the B a r d has created a r o u s i n g tale of fervent nationalism, b r o t h e r h o o d a n d glory. Director M i c h a e l B o g d a n o v has extended this to bolster a patriotism w h i c h w o u l d shame O l i v e r N o r t h a n d c o u l d concievably k n o c k several points of the E u r o t u n n e l shares. The p r o d u c t i o n is slick, the sets m i n i m a l i s t a n d effective, the changes s m o o t h . T h e ambiguous a n d anachronistic setting of th e piece, n o w the norm i n Shakespearian theatre, is a crossbreed of Victorian England and W o r l d W a r II. The u n d e r l y i n g theme of this staging remains its contrasting v i e w of oppos ing states. In battle the K i n g i n s p i r e s h i s troops, ' G o d save H a r r y , E n g l a n d , a n d St.George !' T h e y r e s p o n d as o n l y the E n g l i s h can - the sailing f r o m S o u t h a m p t o n is a scene of riotous m a r c h i n g skinheads, w i t h a chant of 'Here w e g o ' a n d a banner proclaiming 'Fuck the F r o g s ' . The p l a c i d , casual a n d aloof air of the enemy is maintained t h r o u g h o u t , w i t h the exception of the D a u p h i n ' s character, a militant and w a r hungry individual, h u m o r o u s i n his d i s p o s i t i o n, both to the audience a n d his peers. T he standard of acting is very h i g h . M a n y of the players cope w i t h d i f f i c u l t text a n d d e m a n d i n g regional accents. Three people stand out t h o u g h : S i o n Probert, as the

February 10 1989

m Its a few years since M a r k H a m i l l last took to the screen, not since Return of the Jedi i n fact. The l o n g break and a radically different part allows h i m to break the typecasting w h i c h Luke Skywalker invoked, but unfortunately this f i l m proves little more t h a n a s p r i n g b o a r d t o rel a u n c h his career. H a m i l l plays Tasker, a hardened cop w i t h a n itchy trigger finger, intent o n bringing a murderer i n for

trial a n d execution. H i s success w i l l lead to a healthy reward and a ticket to easier life ' d o w n s t r e a m ' . B y r o n is the murderer, a conservative l o o k i n g character i n a p i n s t r i p e suit blessed w i t h a n expansive k n o w l e d g e of history, literature a n d p h i l o s o p h y . H e is an intriguing a n d confusing person, until it is revealed that he isn't a person at a l l . H e is instead a n intriguing a n d confusing a n d r o i d . W h i l e i n Tasker's custody, B y r o n is k i d n a p p e d b y Matt O w e n s , a smuggler with J . R . E w i n g accent and M i c h a e l Hutchence (of I N X S ) looks. O w e n s c a n see t h e f i n a n c i a l advantages of reaching the settlement w i t h h i s captive a n d takes to the air. The chase is o n , t h r o u g h a

FELIX

wilderness w o r l d of canyons a n d ravines, the result of M o t h e r Earth's revolt against p o l l u t i o n . A s th e characters progress they encounter a diverse assortment of guest stars - Robbie Coltrane, B e n K i n g s l e y , F.Murray Abraham - w h o die somewhat needlessly a n d generally at Tasker's b i d d i n g . The entire affair is pretty lacklustre, a n d seemingly pointless. B y r o n a n d M a t t have a short exchange at the close concerning the dangers of h u m a n i t y , but this is the o n l y insight into a n otherwise inaccessible lesson. Despite advertising w h i c h made this f i l m look appealing a n d a leading female w h o is, y o u must surely have better things to do w i t h your time. Andrew Clarke

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t O P E R A T I C

S O C I E T Y

t n For m a n y years n o w the Imperial College Operatic Society has been putting o n a s h o w i n February. This year's p r o d u c t i o n is the famous Gilbert and Silivan opera, The Pirates of Penzance. T h e s h o w has m a n y famous songs including A Policeman's Lot is not a Happy One. This year's p r o d u c t i o n is to be h i g h l y entertaining a n d a m u s i n g . If you t h i n k that opera is b o r i n g a n d o n l y for t h e 'over forties' think again. The s h o w is o n every night f r o m 13 to 17 February. M o n d a y to Thursday, the performances start at 7.30pm, o n Friday the performance starts at 8.00pm. Tickets are available i n advance f r o m the JCR, L e v e l 2, Sherfield (near the servicetill) the H a l d a n e Library a n d i n t 7064. Price for students is £ 2 a n d £ 3 , for n o n students £3 a n d £ 4 .

a solid fourth place at Trent Park. A field of nearly 200 l i n e d u p at the start of the five mile race. The usual sprint start left most of us gasping immediately, w i t h Frank D u d b r i d g e a r o u n d 20th, A l e x G a s k e l l 25th, a n d Matt Lynas, Stefan L e d i n a n d Dave K n i g h t all conserving their energy in the fifties. The early frantic pace had settled by halfway, by w h i c h time Frank h a d m o v e d through to 12th, and Matt, Stefan and Dave were working their way t h r o u g h the forties. A l e x h a d suffered a recurrence of a h i p injury, and to avoid further damage slowed d o w n to eventually finish 60th. The second half of a cross-country is usually a p u n i s h i n g slog, d u r i n g w h i c h your motivation for this sport is severly questioned! H o w e v e r , a

FILMSOC

A.I.

e This Thursday Filmsoc presents ' L P Dolce V i t a , ' Fellini's erotic classic. Marcel Mastroianni a n d Anita Ekberg gave excellent performances w h i c h , w h e n coupled with Fellini's bizarre visual syle results i n a movie that still has the ability to shock twenty nine years after its initial release i n 1960. The film deals w i t h the prophetic vision of a generations spiritual a n d moral decay w i t h M a s t r o i a n n i as a hack seeking sensational stories b y b e d d i n g wealthy socialites. Beautiful cinematography completes the visual experience. See What's on for details.

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RIFLE & PISTOL

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The Overseas Students' Committee has invited Professor A b d u s Salaam to give a lecture o n h i s life a n d career. It w i l l be h e l d o n M o n d a y February 6 at Lecture Theatre 213, H u x l e y B u i l d i n g at 12.40pm.

CROSS COUNTRY

0 C r o s s C o u n t r y C l u b Report T he I C C r o s s - C o u n t r y team, easily the strongest collegiate team i n U.L., recently c o n s o l i d a t e d i t s overall fifth p o s i t i o n i n the L o n d o n Colleges League (which includes the Polys a n d 6th-form Colleges) w i t h

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T he T u r k e y c a m p a i g n is n o w entering its final stage i n w h i c h the l o b b y i n g of m e m b e r s of t h e E u r o p e a n Parliament is carried out by different A I G r o u p s . T h e I C G r o u p , together w i t h the Putney and K i n g s t o n G r o u p s are currently in contact w i t h D a v e S t e l a g h Roberts. This lobbying aims to have a certain pressure exerted o n Turkey for an i m p r o v e m e n t of the H u m a n Rights record. A n increased by the European j.vareness Parliament members of the reality of the violation of H u m a n Rights i n that country is particularly important at a time w h e n it seeks to present a clean image i n the issue of H u m a n Rights w i t h a v i e w to become a members of the E E C . So far, we have been contacting MPs a n d have obtained responses f r o m the Labour G r o u p a n d Toby Jessel (Tory M P for T w i c k e n h a m ) who assured us they were ensuring that the Foreign Office s h o u l d closely monitor T u r k i s h p o l k v a n d practices o n such issues. T h a n k s to all those w h o h e l p e d .

o . s . c .

For those familiar w i t h the Professor, t h e y ' l l be eagerly a w a i t i n g this event. But for those who haven't heard of h i m , he is a Professor i n Theoretical Physics a n d he w o n the N o b e l Prize for Physics in 1979. H e is w o r l d - r e n o w n e d a n d has h a d a very interesting career. He is u s u a l l y n o t i n Imperial College as he w o r k s i n Trieste, Italy where h e is t h e Director of the International Centre for Theoretical P h y s i c s . S o this is a g o l d e n o p p o r t u n i t y not to be m i s s e d . Please note that d u e t o t h e extremely b u s y schedule of the P r o f e s s o r , w e m i g h t h a v e to reschedule the talk to a later date. K e e p a lookout for the posters.

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g o o d position at the e n d makes the pain disappear remarkably quickly, and personal best placings were achieved by Frank, Matt, Stefan and Bill Skailes, i n 7th, 38th, 46th a n d 56th places respectively. D a v e K n i g h t , i n v o l v e d i n a keen battle w i t h M a t t a n d Stefan i n the later stages, recorded his best this year w i t h 4 2 n d . A n o t h e r creditable performance came f r o m John R o w l a n d , w i t h 67th.

FOOTBALL

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Imperial College VI—1 St Bartholemews—1 IC V I continued their resurgence u p the table w i t h a bruising d r a w to extend their unbeaten r u n to 4 In the w o m e n ' s section, A l i s o n games. I n a h i g h l y physical H o r r o c k s admitted to h a v i n g a bad confrontation, IC took the lead h o r n run, f i n i s h i n g 24th. Despite the an exquisite move f r o m the back, l o w l y - s o u n d i n g postions of o u r finished off by A n d y Draine, after runners, one must bear i n m i n d the some brilliant one-touch football. overall size of the field (150 men) Just before half-time, M a r t i n Cole's and the quality of the leading superbly timed covering tackle was athletes (the race was w o n b y a j u d g e d a f o u l by the referee due to county champion). T h e fact that some theatrics by the f o r w a r d , a n d over 20 minutes separated first and Barfs equalised from the subsequent last (a K i n g s runner, of course) free-kick. A rare defensive lapse reflects t h e very w i d e range of nearly allowed Barts to ability supported by this sport. (undeservedly) steal the lead, but the post a n d then M a r t i n Cole The club w i l l be staging the H y d e quickly came to the rescue to clear Park Relay o n Feb 18th, one of the the danger. Eiji F u k u m u r o nearly major inter-university fixtures of the won the game for I C w h e n h i s year. A l l enquiries regarding this to t h u n d e r i n g header went just w i d e D a v e K n i g h t , Physics 2. w i t h the goalkeeper helpless. F. D u d r i d g e

FELIX

O n 1st February a ten m e n team f r o m Cambridge University arrived at IC to face the might of our pistol team. T w o courses of five were shot: one small bore a n d one full bore. Despite b e i n g out of practice the Imperial team (P. Deeks, I. Draper, R. W i n s k i l l , A . Jones, M . Lacey a n d T. Menzies) managed to p u l l off a victory i n both these competitions w i n n i n g the small bore 970-838 a n d the full bore 1055-898. P S If y o u are interested i n joining I C R & P C come d o w n to the range (in the Sports Centre, Princes Gardens) on a n y w e e k d a y lunchtime a n d w e ' l l give y o u some details.

Thinking of having a party, iisco or soirk to impress your friends? Well we have a disco just for you. It is cheap and we have the latest and greatest records lor vour delight and delectation. We can provide you with the Lounge Disco as seen at Ents events and Wednesday Night Discos, or a mobile disco tor use anywhere in College. So, get together with your friends and book the Ents Disco Contact B) via Ents pigeonhole (in Union Office) for more information.

February 10 1989

s What's O n A guide to events i n a n d a r o u n d IC. FRIDAY Consoc Meeting 12.30pm ME569. 12.40pm Rag Meeting Union Lounge. Friday Jamaa Prayer 1.00pm Southside G y m . Christian Union Meeting 5.30pm 308 H u x l e y . Time for prayer, w o r s h i p a n d discussion. Poetry Readings 6.30pm U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n School of O r i e n t a l a n d A f r i c a n Studies Room G57. STOIC-Into The Night 7.00pm C h a t f i l m a n d reviews. Fencing Club 12.30pm U n i o n G y m . M e e t i n g also at 6 o'clock. Valentine's Party 8.00pm S i l w o o d Park. Meet Beit Q u a d at 8.00pm. £ 2 (includes free glass of champagne). Tickets available f r o m U n i o n Office.

Improvers Ballroom

6.00pm

JCR. 80p. Beginners Rock ' n ' Roll 6.45pm U D H . 80p. Advanced Ballroom 7.00pm JCR. 80p. Karate 7.00pm Southside G y m . Beginners welcome. B u i l d y o u r fitness a n d confidence. The Pirates of Penzance 7.30pm U n i o n Concert H a l l . Students £ 2 , non-students £ 3 . See O p s o c . Latin American Dance Class 8.00pm U D H . C h a , Samba, R u m b a , etc. 80p TUESDAY C U Prayer 8.15am 308 H u x l e y . For those w h o think prayer is more important than sleep. Free. Remote Controlled Modelling Club 12.30pm Southside U p p e r .

Amnesty Meeting 5.30pm B r o w n Committee R o o m (top floor U n i o n B u i l d i n g ) . Meditative Prayer 5.45pm C h a p l a i n ' s Office, 10 Prince's G a r d e n s . C o m e a n d join u s for some peace a n d quiet. See West London Chaplaincy. 6.00pm STOIC Feature Beginners Ballroom 6.00pm JCR. 80p. A l l welcome. Judo / 6.30pm U n i o n G y m . A l l grades. Sorry n o more beginners. Karate 7.00pm Southside G y m . Beginners welcome. B u i l d y o u r fitness a n d confidence. Intermediate Ballroom 7.00pm JCR. 80p. Caving Club Meeting 7.00pm Southside U p p e r L o u n g e . Everyone interested s h o u l d come along. Opsoc Show 7.30pm U n i o n Concert H a l l . T h e Pirates of Penzance.

SATURDAY Guilds Rag Raid 10.00am Meet i n the V a n Park for trip to Aylesbury. Karate 10.00am S o u t h s i d e G y m . Beginners w e l c o m e . B u i l d y o u r fitness a n d confidence. 4.30pm IC Kung Fu Southside G y m . Beginners always w e l c o m e .

THURSDAY

SUNDAY Holy Communion 10.00am Sherfield B u i l d i n g . Sunday Mass 11.00am West L o n d o n Catholic C h a p l a i n c y , M o r e H o u s e , 53 C r o m w e l l R o a d . A l s o at 6 p m (followed by bar supper). A l l welcome. Wargames 1.00pm Senior C o m m o n R o o m . A l l Welcome. 4.30pm Kung Fu U n i o n G y m . Beginners welcome. R C S U Night in the Bar 7.00pm Union Bar. MONDAY Rock Soc Meeting 12.30pm Southside Upper Lounge. A n y o n e interested i n any f o r m of rock m u s i c come along. Artsoc Meeting 12.30pm U n i o n S C R . S i g n u p for s h o w s. Membership £2. Yacht Club Meeting 12.30pm Upstairs i n Southside. STOIC News 1.00pm Watch i n JCR a n d Halls. Recitation of Holy Qur'an 1.30pm 9 Prince's G a r d e n s (Basement).

February 10 1989

come along. Flamsoc Meeting 1.15pm T h i r d Floor of U n i o n B u i l d i n g . A m a t e u r R a d i o Society regular weekly meeting. Intermediate Rock ' n ' Roll Class 2.15pm U D H . 80p. Jazz Dance Class 3.15pm U D H . 80p. Karate 3.30pm Southside G y m . Beginners w e l c o m e . B u i l d y o u r fitness a n d confidence. 4.30pm Open Circle Study 9 Prince's G a r d e n s . See Islamic Soc. Bar Quiz 7.00pm U n i o n Snack Bar. In a i d of R a g . Opsoc Show 7.30pm U n i o n Concert H a l l . ' T h e Pirates of Penzance'. Students £ 2 , n o n students £ 3 . Kung Fu 7.30pm U n i o n G y m . Grandmaster C K C h a n g ' s class. Orienteering Club 6.15pm Union G y m . Basic Christianity 6.30pm Senior C o m m o n R o o m , 7th Flo o r. A meeting h e l d b y U n i v e r s i t y C h r i s t i a n Outreach e x a m i n i n g the life a n d claims of Jesus.

B o a r d s a i l i n g Club 12.30pm Southside L o u n g e . A u d i o s o c Meeting 12.30pm U n i o n S C R . C h e a p records a n d tapes etc. Roman C a t h o l i c Mass 12.40pm M e c h E n g 702. M a s s f o l l o w e d by l u n c h . 50p. Ski Club Meeting 12.45pm Southside L o u n g e . Interested i n learning to ski? A l r e a d y hooked? W a n t to try racing? C o m e a n d f i n d out more. 3rd World First 1.00pm 4th Floor, E n v Tech, 38 Prince's Gardens; Consoc Speaker M e e t i n g . . 1.00pm ME213. Angela Rumbold on Student Loans. Beatles Hour 1.00pm For all the best Beatle a n d Beatlerelated material o n C d w i t h Spenser Lane. Qur'an, t r a d i t i o n of Prophet 1.30pm 9 Prince's G a r d e n s .

Love the World Concert 8.00pm Methodist Central Hall, Westminster, near H o u s e s of Parliament. Box Office 01-387 9629. Featuring the 'Fairer S a x ' . Improvers Ballroom 8.00pm JCR. 80p. RIPSoc Meating 8.30pm Southside U p p e r L o u n g e proceeding to B r o m p t o n Cemetary for 10.00pm (bring a spade a n d torch). Valentines Disco 8.30pm Southside Bar. Mountaineering Club Meeting 9.00pm Southside U p p e r L o u n g e . Beginners always welcome. WEDNESDAY Soviet Jewry Action Group 12.30pm JCR. Caving Club Meeting 1.00pm Micro Club Meeting 1.00pm T h i r d Floor, U n i o n B u i l d i n g . If y o u ' r e interested i n computers

FELIX

Fencing Club 12.30pm U n i o n G y m . M e e t i n g also at 6 o'clock I C Y H A Meeting 12.30pm Southside U p p e r L o u n g e . Everyone welcome. Methsoc Meeting 12.30pm M e c h E n g 703. Speaker M e e t i n g , all welcome. Audiosoc Meeting 12.30pm U n i o n S C R . C h e a p records, tapes etc. Ski Club The S k i C l u b w i l l o n l y meet o n Tuesdays this t e r m . Debating Society 1.00pm R o o m 341 M a t h s (Huxley). Arabic Lessons 1.30pm 9 Prince's G a r d e n s . See Islamic Soc. Prayer Meeting 5.30pm C h a p l a i n ' s Office, 10 Prince's G a r d e n s . A l l Christians i n College are welcome to come a n d pray for the w o r k of Christians i n College. Cricket Nets 5.45pm Meet i n M e c h E n g Foyer. S i g n u p o n cricket noticeboard. Everyone welcome. Judo 6.30pm U n i o n G y m . Beginners welcome. Soup Run 9.15pm M e e t W e e k ' s H a l l Basement (back by 11pm). Opsoc Show 7.30pm U n i o n Concert H a l l . See Wednesday. Games Night 8.00pm Snack Bar. W i t h C a s i n o a n d Disco.

Page 19

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You've survived the first RAG Week, you've bought the t-shirt, you've bough the mug now.... RAG Week 2: The Sequel.

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Why I hear you ask? Well it just seems that the Rag committee had lots of good ideas and decied to lump them together.

Milk Tray Delivery: Have a box of the proverbial delivered to the love of your heart. A black clad milk Tray man/woman will enter the lecture theatre or other place of your choice to the sound of dramatic music and give your sweatheart a box of chocs. Ultimate embarrassment at only 2.50 Barbershop-o-grams: A minute of pure acapello courtesy of IC Choir, wonderful and a snip at 2.50 The Bar Quiz: Remember the first in november? The same thing again- loads of prizes- 2 per team of 4. Don't forget to bring your brain (and leave your vodaphone at home or you'll get a large fine for cheating). afterwards there will be a Dicso. bop to the latest Ents sounds and mellow out on crazy Rag cocktails (we have as much fun making them as you do drinking them). Gaming night. Horse racing on the ginormous 50 inch video screen. The races arrive sealed, and you bet on the outcome. A must for all gamblers and if that doesn't entice you, Guilds casino will, incuding blackjack, roulette and poker. Hypnosis Lecture: by popular demand we see the return of Martin S Taylor, hypnotist extraordinare, for another evening of entertainment (remember Cosmic the talking martain?). If you don't already know how good this is you really ought to go. BIBIC Londonwide Collection: pay Monopoly around the sites of London as laid out on the board game, but watch out for the jail van (and dissapearing into Soho at high speed when it's on the other side of a traffic light doesn't help, especially when you're wearing no trousers at the time). A good day out for teams of 4-6 in aid of BIBIC, which helps brain damaged children regain senses which they have lost. BIBIC Carnival: Bands, disco, films etc for the BIBIC collectors, the Hyde park relay teams any anyone else who wants to go. Great value at 1.50 great value.

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