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y O v e r 800 students gathered outside the Department of E d u c a t i o n a n d Science yesterday for a rally i n protest against Student L o a n s . The rally was organised by the N a t i o n a l U n i o n of Students' L o n d o n branch (NUS L o n d o n ) , as p a r t of Thursday's N U S National Education S h u t d o w n .

Speakers at the rally reported o n action taken

by London's Universities, Polytechnics a n d C o l l e g e s of F u r t h e r E d u c a t i o n , r a n g i n g f r o m a blockage of mail at K i n g s College to a strike by catering staff i n support of students at Thames Polytechnic.

The meeting was strongly s u p p o r t e d b y a w i d e variety of educational establishments, i n c l u d i n g the L o n d o n College of P r i n t i n g , the L o n d o n School of Economics, M i d d l e s e x Polytechnic, and Thames Polytechnic. P u p i l s f r o m P i m l i c o School, with w h i c h IC has a student teaching connection, were also present.

The meeting dispersed peacefully after a n u m b e r of speeches calling for greater action b y the N a t i o n a l N U S Executive and further marches through L o n d o n.

N U S L o n d o n G e n e r a l Secretary P h i l W o o d f o r d told F E L I X that he felt the meeting h a d been 'very positive' w i t h 'students s h o w i n g their anger at the G o v e r n m e n t ' s proposals.'

Around London, University C o l l e g e Students U n i o n organised a picket of the College's entrances, and a n ' O v e r d r a f t D i s c o ' i n the evening, w h i c h was free to students w i t h bank overdrafts. The L o n d o n School of Economics reported a large n u m b e r of lectures cancelled for the education s h u t d o w n a n d h e l d a ' B o p against Baker' i n the e v e n i n g . Elsewhere, the University of L o n d o n U n i o n ( U L U ) acted as an information centre throughout the

ISSUE 828

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T/ie /irsf of two groups of students marching across Waterloo Bridge to join the rally outside the DES day i n s u p p o r t of the N U S education s h u t d o w n and h e l d a leaflet distribution at O x f o r d Circus.

A t Imperial College, the U n i o n Bar was o p e n throughout the day, whilst P o o l a n d Table Football tournaments were held in the U n i o n Snack Bar a n d information sheets were distributed to students. M P for Tottenham, Bernie Grant also spoke to 50 students i n the U n i o n Lounge.

IC U n i o n President, N i g e l Baker told F E L I X that although IC U n i o n was s u p p o r t i n g the N U S ' N a t i o n a l Education S h u t d o w n , the College had refused to support students by rearranging lectures. H e claimed the College's lack of support was due to the poor turnout for I C U ' s lobby of Parliament last m o n t h . Lectures were rescheduled a r o u n d the College for 250 or so students to attend the lobby. M r Baker t o l d F E L I X that the Rector h a d pointed out the lack of support as a reason

for not s u p p o r t i n g a n y further action. H e a d d e d that the U n i o n was 'trying to take the positive side' by offering students an alternative to lectures o n the s h u t d o w n day rather than encouraging students to boycott lectures. M r Baker went o n to c o m p l a i n at the lack of support by students for the organisation of the s h u t d o w n at IC and the U n i o n ' s vigil outside the D E S o n February 6.

• • • N U S ' action against student loans culminates on Saturday February 25 w h e n a n a t i o n a l g a t h e r i n g of students w i l l march f r o m Victoria E m b a n k m e n t to K e n n i n g t o n Park, where a Festival is p l a n n e d . I C U n i o n is s u p p o r t i n g the march a n d w i l l meet i n Beit Quadrangle at H a m . M r Baker told F E L I X that he hopes to have an Imperial College U n i o n banner for the event a n d plans to distribute publicity next week.

The College are taking legal advice f o l l o w i n g threats b y the Students' U n i o n to sue the College if students are d e p r i v e d of degrees b y the a c t i o n of t h e A s s o c i a t i o n of U n i v e r s i t y Teachers ( A U T ) .

The U n i o n have been informed by legal experts that they w o u l d have a very g o o d case to sue for the cost of fees and maintainance for a repeat year for those students d e p r i v e d of their degree d u e to the A U T ' s examination boycott. It is estimated that such action c o u l d cost the College u p t o £44 m i l l i o n .

The A U T began their boycott, which affects 70,000 undergraduates throughout the country, at the start of the term, i n protest against the Committee of Vice Chancellors a n d Principals ( C V C P ) refusal to present a pay offer for the 1988/89 session.

The C V C P have since offered a 3 % p a y rise w h i c h they a d m i t is 'embarassingly l o w . ' Wages f o r academics currently range f r o m £9200 for lecturers to £29,000 for professors.

IC U n i o n President, N i g e l Baker told F E L I X that the threat of legal action w o u l d force the College to put pressure o n either the C V C P or the A U T for an end to the action. H e pointed out that the College might take legal action against A U T members f o r breach of contract, s h o u l d the U n i o n go ahead w i t h its legal c l a i m .

President of the Imperial College Branch of the A U T , Susan Parry said that she was u n h a p p y w i t h the Students U n i o n decision.

'It w o u l d be more constructive for the students if they put pressure o n the C V C P a n d the Department of Education and Science' she said.

• • • Speaking at the Careers A d v i s o r y Board Student Liason Committee o n Tuesday, D e p u t y President Chas

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17 FEB 1989

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y Dear Sir, A f t e r attending the u n u s u a l U G M in the JCR o n Tuesday January 31, I feel that the case for a m e n d i n g the constitution was not presented p r o p e r l y . It is true that this lack of discussion stemmed f r o m a perfectly legal proceedural m o t i o n , but the fact that this m e c h a n i s m was used rather suggests that it is time to a m e n d the rules a n d regulations, while preserving democracy.

W h a t an emotive w o r d , democracy. M a n y w i l l argue that the meeting was democratic, b u t examination of the result provides interesting statistics. O f the 240 or so w h o s u p p o r t e d the m o t i o n most of those were f r o m St M a r y ' s (total p o p u l a t i o n 500), thus approximately, 45% of St M a r y ' s voted f o r the m o t i o n , against 340 I C students (population 5,000) or 7% of I C . W h e n y o u introduce the factor that only 300 or so students are ever available at one time due to course c o m m i t m e n t s , that 45% takes a greater significance.

explained the situation as we see it, this m u c h of the reasoning w a s lost. W e were equal members at the U G M , w i t h the universal rights that were referred to so often i n the other business at the assembly. Those right's we d i d not receive.

In conclusion I am not c r y i n g foul or feel the desire for revenge. I a m deeply saddened a n d disturbed at what transpired last Tuesday, w i t h a total lack of confidence i n the U G M as it stands.

I hope people w i l l take a little time to listen to all angles of the debate in the future, as St M a r y ' s . students w i l l i n g , integration into I C U w o u l d benefit IC immensely. St M a r y ' s is a world leader in what it does, enjoying a level of public awareness equal to that of I C . That is a p o w e r f u l tool to be used once the integration has taken place. A t the m o m e nt St M a r y ' s is d o i n g all the g i v i n g . In the best agreements one reaches a compromise, isn't it time IC gave a little?

William Lumb, St Mary's Hospital Medical School.

Imperial College Union

H e r e i n the p r o b l e m lies. N o w o n d e r St M a r y ' s do not believe the present system is fair for all.

The conduct of the U G M provides m u c h evidence to support the motion. I was a little surprised that the m o t i o n was v o t e d u p o n w i t h no discussion.

The reasons for the procedural m o t i o n became o b v i o u s : w h e n all those IC students h a d voted, they left to go to lectures before the results h a d been a n n o u n c e d . That suggests to me a lack of concern or understanding of the issues involved.

St M a r y ' s students gave u p an average of tw o lectures to attend the meeting. O n the proviso that I C U n i o n is available to all, then U G M ' s cannot be held during College hours, as St M a r y ' s students w i l l be discriminated against.

Dear Bill, The above letter was p i n n e d o n most lockers a r o u n d the I C U n i o n B u i l d i n g this week.

H o w e v e r , it does c o n t a i n a f e w factual inaccuracies. Firstly, the k e y w a s left w i t h security, w h o lost it. Secondly, Chas Brereton is in charge of IC B u i l d i n g s and he hands out the keys—it is his responsibility to keep back-up O n e also has to remember that over half the copies. T h i r d l y , a n d most typically, is that since students at St M a r y ' s do not have a formal lecture the keys were lost o n January 221989 by security, course, a n d learn b y w o r k i n g i n the various he has managed to handle the situation with total hospitals i n L o n d o n a n d the S o u t h East w i t h no inefficiency. W e left the k e y numbers a n d regular h o u r s . If I a m ' o n take', that is w o r k i n g company w i t h h i m , a n d he promised either n e w all day a n d night, h o w can I be represented at copies and/or to contact us. H e has still not done an I C U U G M ? T h i s difference i n the w o r k i n g anything after three weeks, even though we have practice of medical students must be appreciated visited h i m continuously asking for h e l p . It has along w i t h differences i n social activity, by those w h o make policy at IC. A s this rests at the n o w come to the point where we w i l l have to go to personal expense to hire a locksmith etc. This m o m e n t , the U G M makes policy, a n d I have a s h o u l d be the U n i o n ' s job, not ours. totla lack of confidence i n that b o d y .

I strongly feel that if a n issue central to St M a r y ' s were debated w e w o u l d come off the losers o n the majority of occasions. A s k the students at St M a r y ' s w h o have attended university p r e v i o u s l y about the difference i n the needs, atmosphere, etc a n d they w i l l all agree.

I f i r m l y believe that I C U at present is not e q u i p p e d or w i l l i n g to consider St M a r y ' s fairly.

The lack of discussion effectively glossed over the fact that student accountability w i l l not be lost. The three i n d i v i d u a l colleges w o u l d take back m u c h responsibility for policy decisions with regards to external affairs etc, a n d then the representative w o u l d be m a n d a t e d to argue the agreed line at the I C U meetings. T h i s change w o u l d enable more people to involve themselves i n U n i o n meetings rather than the five or six w h o m a n a g e d to dominate the U G M o n January 31.

This I f i n d a n n o y i n g as I was prevented f r o m speaking by the m e c h a n i s m of the situation. It was also pertinent that no one f r o m St M a r y ' s

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Alternatively, I a m w i l l i n g to listen to any grievances personally, S Parkus, Mat Sci 2.

s Dear Editor, A t 10.30am o n January 31, I made m y w a y d o w n to the M e d i c a l School Restaurant for a coffee. A m o n g s t the usual r u bbi s h o n the table a freshly photocopied letter from the St M a r y ' s Student U n i o n caught m y eye. T h e letter concerned a vote that was taking place o n that very same day at a U G M to be h e l d at Imperial College starting at 1.00pm. The vote was to decide whether decisions about all student u n i o n matters (the M a r y ' s clubs, bar, etc) s h o u l d be taken ,Âťi the U G M s h e l d at I C . These meetings are almost exclusively attended by students based at the site south of the park. The other o p t i o n , as outlined by the w o r k i n g party, was that the format of the U G M s s h o u l d be changed so that a decision concerning St M a r y ' s w o u l d be voted o n at a n U G M at M a r y ' s a n d t h e n a representative from St M a r y ' s w o u l d have a block vote at the next meeting h e l d at Imperial thus representing the v i e w s of the majority of St M a r y ' s students without them having to be there in person.

The w o r d quickly spread t h r o u g h the M e d i c a l School that, although given the very short notice, it was imperative that as m a n y of us as possible went to the U G M and tried to stop this vote going t h r o u g h . T w o h u n d r e d and fifty students made their w a y across the park (which incidentally, everyone agreed, took 30 minutes o n foot) to arrive at Imperial at 1.00pm. O n the w a y to the JCR we were met by provocative posters saying ' U G M 1.00pm, issues include The E n d of U G M s ' , obviously aimed at stirring a biased, intransigent c r o w d , determined o n maintenance of the status quo, along to the meeting.

W h e n we all got to the JCR we were told that the vote i n w h i c h we were all intersted i n was Issue F, the last o n the agenda. Realising that our. issue was not going to be o n for at least an h o u r , m y heart began to sink as 1 watched the U G M ' i n action' w o r k i n g through the first five issues.

The r o o m contained a large number of social misfits w h o , for the w a n t of something better to do, seemed to delight i n the use of a term, w h i c h over the space of the next h o u r a n d a half I was to grow to hate—The Procedural M o t i o n .

This was bandied about for e v e r y t h i n g f r o m Request for Information to Request to go to the toilet (well, not quite, but w i t h as nearly a great a frequency).

Finally, just after 2.00pm it was time for our issue. The following account outlines a few of the devious 'democratic' tactics u s e d l e a d i n g u p to Dear Bill, the vote. Firstly, the m o t i o n was changed f r o m , I w o u l d like to express m y concern over certain i n outline, U G M s are fair a n d representative c h i l d i s h i n d i v i d u a l s at this College. A large meetings (which the St M a r y ' s students were n u m b e r of Jewish Society posters received against) to U G M s s h o u l d be abolished (which St personal attention, a n d messages like 'Fuck the M a r y ' s students were for).

Jews' were the result, i n addition to posters being torn or burnt. Similar treatment was given to Secondly, a n I C student suggested that the Wellsoc posters. issue was too large a n d s h o u l d not be voted o n but c o n s i d e r ed at another m e e t i n g . T h i s , This action was not particularly constructive i n any sense of the w o r d , b u t perhaps if the fortunately, was voted against as the IC U n i o n said that e n o u g h w o r k a n d discussion h a d author(s) w o u l d like to make their o p i n i o n public already been put i n by the w o r k i n g party. T h i s i n F E L I X , then w e w i l l treat t h e m as mature adults a n d act accordingly. I n the meantime, was lucky as nowhere near as m a n y St M a r y ' s students w o u l d have attended a second meeting. people have been offended a n d inconvenienced by this pathetic and cowardly act.

A sensible proposal was put forward to discuss IC Kung Fu Club.

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February 17 1989

s the fifteen point plan of the w o r k i n g party. Both P h i l D r e w a n d G r a h a m Price were o n h a n d to represent St M a r y ' s i n these discussions.

H o w e v e r an Imperial student, realising that their 2.30pm lectures were about to start and that a large block of the IC vote w o u l d disappear to attend lectures, p r o p o s e d thi 'ssue went .. 5 carried. straight to a vote. This p r o .

A couple of procedural motions about the vote were then put f o r w a r d . Were St M a r y ' s students members of IC U n i o n a n d therefore eligible to vote? D o St M a r y ' s students have IC U r . n cards i n order to vote? O n l y M e d i c a l r ,1 ID cards w o u l d be allowable as proof of St i ary's student status.

Doctor s h o u l d also have given an IC test over the phone? W e all k n o w h o w impossible articulation of symptoms can be. Yet h o w strange, the Doctor can afford the time to take full account of that headache, hangover, nosebleed etc. d u r i n g the h y p o c h o n d r i a c ' s frequent visits to the surgery.

Surely we could all avoid a half hour wait for the open surgery and p h o n e - i n o u r s y m p t o m s to the answerphone. O r , with hindsight, just maintain a s u p p l y of paracetamol.

Yours sincerely; Ann Roberts (Maths I).

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Yours sincerely, Dominic O'Kane, PATA

Chairman 1988-89

m Dear Bill, H e ' s unstoppable, he's d e t e r m i n e d to wreck the College a n d w e ' r e powerless to stop h i m !

W h o ? Eric A s h of course—just take a look at the latest proposal to merge w i t h R H B N C — I give u p , all w e can d o is ride the storm a n d hope to survive. By way of explanation, have y o u noticed that: Imperial College of Science, Technology a n d M e d i c i n e neatly (and o m i n o u s l y ) rearranges to: I concede, i C m a n g l e d to pieces i n lone Eric E g h a m folly.

G o o d b y e IC, welcome to the Polytechnic of S o u t h East E n g l a n d .

Yours dispairingly, S G Banton, Ex-just about am/thing you can think of.

d Dear Bill, D a v e T h o m a s is right!

Yours eternally, God.

s Dear Bill, Last year whilst suffering f r o m glandular fever I finally submitted to m y s y m p t o m s a n d visited the H e a l t h Centre. (I'm p a r a n o i d about wasting the Doctor's valuable time a n d only go w h e n it is a choice between a Doctor a n d the Last Rites).

T h e questions fired: D o y o u have a boyfriend?

A r e y o u sleeping w i t h h i m ?

H a v e y o u slept w i t h anyone?

A r e y o u sure?

F u n n y , but I c ould have s w o r n that the Doctor was trying for a r u n of small ads i n F E L I X .

Finally, after a p a t r o n i s i n g lecture o n student illnesses all b e i n g related to stress a n d sex, I left totally d i s g r u n t l e d . The advice? G o h o m e , l i e d o w n and take a paracetamol!! (A paracetamol—a fast f o o d i n the w o r l d of medicine.)

O n another occasion a f r i e n d of m i n e needed a Doctor to be called out a n d was g i v e n a t w o minute diagnosis over the p h o n e . Surely the

February 17 1989

s Dear Bill, In last w e e k ' s F E L I X a n article appeared entitled 'Loans Publicity'. Whilst I agree with the a u t h o r ' s s e n t i m e n t s r e g a r d i n g t h e effect w i t h d r a w a l of Social Security Benefits w i l l have, the article also contained some inaccuracies which are very misleading.

The article stated that the legislation regarding a student's right to claim H o u s i n g Benefit a n d Income Support h a d already been passed. This is not correct. I contacted the D S S Policy Unit and was told that the legislation is scheduled to come into effect f r o m September 1990. T h e timetable of the Bill i n t r o d u c i n g these charges is not yet known.

It was also stated that 'these cuts are total' i m p l y i n g that no student w o u l d be able to claim any form of benefit whatsoever. Certainly the cuts w i l l be devastating but it is likely that there w i l l still be some benefit that certain students w i l l be able to claim. Therefore until the Bill has made its passage through Parliament it is u n w i s e to make assumptions as to the full extent of the cuts.

Therefore the current position is that students are still eligible to claim benefits until September 1990. It still remains to be seen what the real impact of the legislation w i l l be.

Yours sincerely, Yve Posner, Welfare Adviser.

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e Dear Bill, I was disappointed to read i n last week's F E L I X A n d r e w A l l u m ' s insult to freedom of speech and IC students as a w h o l e .

I agree that the use of the label 'Water Polo C l u b ' as a cover should not have been made. The underlying issue is not the method used to attract the normally impartial IC students to the problem of student loans. Rather, it is h o w to organise them into a coherrent group capable of defending the right of higher education to everyone.

T o this effect Julian M o o r e seems to have p u t a lot of effort into organising people w i t h the c o m m o n conviction that student loans are unjust a n d do not w o r k i n practice (eg S w e d e n ) .

If the government wants to pass legislation o n any issue y o u have the right to oppose it b y demonstrating, w r i t i n g to y o u r M P or l o b b y i n g Parliament. T h i s is the essence of democracy.

Instead A n d r e w A l l u m seems to beleive i n apathy and the Tet-the-government-do-whatthey-want' attitude. T h i s is not o n l y dangerous (what becomes of democracy w i t h o u t c y n i c i s m towards its leaders?) but it is also a n insult towards the (supposedly) intelligent student population of I C . I do not believe A n d r e w A l l u m has the right to talk about his fellow students as 'innocent' just because they disagree w i t h h i m .

W o u l d D e G a u l e have been o v e r t h r o w n without the initial reaction of the French students?

I C U was a n d is apolitical. H o w e v e r , it is the students of tomorrow w h o w i l l decide the future political trend of I C U a n d certainly not A n d r e w A l l u m w h o seems to be more apt at c o n d e m n i n g students w h o believe i n b u i l d i n g a more equal, caring and fair country.

Lastly, h o w can A n d r e w A l l u m state with such conviction that 'most IC students are generally p r o u d of our student u n i o n ' w i t h o u t some k i n d of ' l o g i c a l ' backup?

Stephen McKeever, DOC II. P S . A n d r e w , w o u l d y o u be so apolitical if y o u lived i n Poland?

Dear Bill, I was horrified by the sight of neo-Nazi posters, grafitti and burnt remnants of Jewish Society posters o n the w a l k w a y today. C r u d e l y d r a w n posters depicted soldiers wearing the Star of D a v i d acting like N a z i s , captioned w i t h phrases like 'Jewish Butcher'. Wellsoc and Filmsoc posters were daubed w i t h anti-Israeli slogans a n d swastikas.

The a i m of this despicable display was to make a perverted link between the atrocities of the Dear Bill, k i l l i n g of six m i l l i o n Jews in the Holocaust, a n d This has been a busy week, but I felt that I h a d the treatment of A r a b refugees i n Judea and to write this letter i n order to thank the members Samaria. The same thugs bear the legacy of those of Imperial College for saving me a lot of h a r d such as the G r a n d M u f t i of Jerusalem. It was H a j w o r k . N o r m a l l y m y r o u n d s of the universities A m i n al Husseini, a best friend of Eichmann, w h o take u p most of m y time, w i t h all those y o u n g congratulated H i t l e r o n h i s successes a n d folk i n such large numbers a n d at such close c o n s t a n t l y i n c i t e d a n acceleration of t h e quarters. Students usually r u s h me off m y feet, extermination measures. Some make the claim falling i n and out of love faster than y o u can say the Holocaust never occurred; equally monstrous ' H I V . But IC is an exception a n d provides me are those w h o try to salve their consciences by w i t h a nice place to sit d o w n a n d rest m y w i n g s placing Jews today in the boots of the N a z i s . o n February 14.

All my love, Yours faith fully, Cupid.

N Nelkon, Department of Computing.

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a Cappadocia is situated virtually in the middle of Turkey, on the Central Anatolian Plateau that makes up most of Asia Minor. The area known as Cappadocia roughly fills a triangle of 200-300 square miles between the towns of Nigde, Kayseri and Nevsehir. Eons ago the now extinct volcanoes of Hasari Dagi and Eriyes Dagi covered the whole are with a deep layer of tufa, a soft stone of solidified mud, ash and lava. Over the ages since the rivers of the region have scoured canyons and gulleys through the soft and porous stone and the elements have eroded it into fantastic crags, turrets, stalagmites and cones, creating a vast outdoor display of stone sculptures in an incredible vareity of shapes and colours.

The cone is the most c o m m o n form i n Cappadocia's lunar landscape, many of them more than a h u n d r e d feet tall, some i n groups and others standing alone like eccentric obelisks. The predominant colour i n some areas is ochre or u m b e r , w h i l e i n others it m ay be ashen of even salt w h i t e . W h a t nature has left u n d o n e i n terms of fantastic sculpture, m a n has c o m p l e t e d . For thousands of years the C a p p a d o c i a n s have been c a r v i n g n o u s e s a n d places of w o r s h i p o u t of the rock cones, l e a v i n g b e h i n d w h o l e rock villages and some of the finest examples of B y z a n t i n e art i n the w o r l d . Today, the inhabitants of the region still for the most part live i n their rock houses, perhaps w i t h a m o d e r n extension. C a p p a d o c i a is o n l y a twelv e h o u r coach journey f r o m Istanbul, so it is w i t h i n easy reach e v e n for the Inter-Railer, a n d it p r o v i d e s an excellent o p p o u r t u n i t y to see a landscape unparalleled for its strange beauty.

Rock House, Goreme

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Goreme G o r e m e is one of the best places to base a visit to the region; its a small rock village i n the centre of one of the best landscapes, a rolling p l a i n covered i n thousands of p i n k cones that glow i n the late afternoon sun. The village itself has several little pensions w i t h rooms carved out of the cones, a n d even a couple of restaurants i n rock houses. In fact, one of the restauranteurs has a habit of dragging his guests off to a genuine Turkish nightclub, where y o u c a n see a r o o m full of m e n w a t c h i n g a single w o m a n sing q u i t e a n e x p e r i e n c e if y o u r companions decide to teach the locals a few Red Wedge songs at the same time.

A t the centre of the village is a R o m a n tomb constructed i n a cone, w i t h t w o columns d a n g l i n g i n m i d air f r o m the side, the bottoms h a v i n g eroded away. Nearby is G o r e m e N a t i o n a l Park, where i n a single valley there are collected some of the finest examples of the

Fairy Chimneys near Zelve C a p p a d o c i a n churches. A m o n g s t the churches there is also a refectory carved out of the hill, seats and table sculptured f r o m the r o o m . T h e finest church is the T o k a l i c h u r c h , with a vaulted interior and beautiful frescoes o n a blue b a c k g r o u n d .

In the valleys a r o u n d G o r e m e there are many goat tracks, along w h i c h one can spend an afternoon w a n d e r i n g through the landscape.

A m o n g s t the cones are a f e w deserted churches, w i t h fragments of frescoes remaining o n the w a l l , sun bleached w i t h time.

Kaymakli and Derinkuyu O n the road between N e v s e h i r and N i g d e are the u n d e r g r o u n d cities of K a y m a k l i a n d D e r i n k u y u .

H e r e , the tufa has remained u n e r o d e d a n d the landscape is flat, but this has not prevented the ever active Cappadocians f r o m carving away at the soft rock. U n d e r n e a t h the plain they have carved out w h o l e cities f r o m the tufa, some going as deep as eight storeys below the surface. It is believed that there are more than twenty of these cities underneath the s u r r o u n d i n g plain, but only tw o have been excavated and opened to the public.

cities are huge millstones that were used by the inhabitants to block the p a s s a g e w a y s against i n v a d e r s .

Probably the best experience of all is to stand at the bottom of the air v e n t o n t h e e i g h t h l e v e l of D e r i n k u y u a n d feel the cold air rising u p the vent a r o u n d oneself.

Zelve

Both cities are pretty similar, corridors a n d narrow staircases connecting rooms i n a maze that goes deeper and deeper into the g r o u n d . Some of the passageways are lit and signposts indicate the way out; K a y m a k l i even has a n u n d e r g r o u n d cafe! T h e m o r e adventurous can take a torch w i t h t h e m a n d explore the unlit caves, that are reputed to extend for miles under the tufa. Littered all over the

N e a r b y are the Fairy C h i m n e y s ; some of the most spectacular forms in the area. A group of phallic cones shaped like some w e i r d fungus thrust f r o m the dusty p l a i n . T h e soil, a l t h o u g h it looks barren, produces abundant grape vines, f r o m w h i c h the local w i n e is made, w h i c h is s u r p r i s i n g l y g o o d .

Zelve is the most intact of the rock villages, basically because it w a s deserted i n 1950 due to rock falls.

The village has n o w been opened u p as a m u s e u m of what the rock villages used to look like, before the m o d e r n extensions were built. The village is situated i n a natural amphitheatre at the junction of a valley a n d three canyons, the cliff faces of w h i c h are r i d d l e d w i t h the openings of churches a n d houses.

The valleys and houses are probably the most typical i n C a p p a d o c i a ; cones p i l e d o n cones u p the side of the canyons, each cone filled w i t h the w i n d o w s of the n o w deserted houses. M o s t of the houses can be explored, the o l d monastery being quite a feat, carved as it is out of a sheer cliff. The village also contains the only carved mosque i n the region.

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ANNOUNCEMENTS â&#x20AC;˘ Imperial College Union Socialist Workers Student Soc. Wed 22 Febâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Racism: What it is and how to fight it. Wed 1 Marâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Why human nature doesn't make socialism impossible. Wed 8 Marâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;The Palestinian struggle today. Wed 15 Marâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Why Russia isn't socialist. All meetings in the Green Committee Room, Union Building at 1.15pm.

FOR S A LE â&#x20AC;˘ Ford Escort. Tax and Mot, very reliable. ÂŁ250. Contact A Bamford (int 5131).

PERSONAL â&#x20AC;˘ T e l l Sid! You know it makes sense? â&#x20AC;˘ Vote Joe! â&#x20AC;˘ R.I.P.(?) Soc. The new breed of Holbein deviants. â&#x20AC;˘ R.I.P.f?) Socâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;for party games before the sage and onion. â&#x20AC;˘ R.I.P.(?) Socâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Like 'em ripe. â&#x20AC;˘ Bored of veggies? Try a stiffy.

Marrows aren't more fun. â&#x20AC;˘ R.I.P.(?) Soc makes the Earth move. â&#x20AC;˘ Womble the Q T , wave the air with IC. â&#x20AC;˘ Do you get aroused by watching Frankenstein movies?

Do you visit museums just to see the mummies? Then why not join R.I.P.(?) Soc. It might be just up your street...! â&#x20AC;˘ A h zumba zumba zumba zumba zumba zumba zumba yech. â&#x20AC;˘ Felicity I love it when your angry. â&#x20AC;˘ How many sabbaticals does it take to change a lightbulb? â&#x20AC;˘What was Chas Brereton doing in STOIC with a video? â&#x20AC;˘ Ask Ian Morris for the latest disgusting joke. â&#x20AC;˘ T o the girl with the blue hat.

Will you marry me - Freddy. â&#x20AC;˘ Aliens from the planet Zog

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have taken the serial number of my camera. Flight 207 from Gatwick will be replaced by a replica on March 17th in midflight. The CIA will investigate but will cover up the evidence in favour of the left wing anarchist takeover. See my ad in the London Evening Standard 12.01.89. The signal is fading.

Zev Red Jacket fading out. â&#x20AC;˘ A n d now the end is near and so I face the final curtain. Drinks, I've had a few but then again too few to mention. There were times, I'm sure you knew, when I bit off more than I could chew, but thats all over now that I have started eating in the snack bar. â&#x20AC;˘ G o get 'em floyd. â&#x20AC;˘ SW you drive me crazy from the man with two heads and the red walking stick. â&#x20AC;˘ Andrew Allum is a communist spy. â&#x20AC;˘ T o the man who pasted up the letters page and forgot the rotring. May peckery dung fall on your head. â&#x20AC;˘Turnips get your turnips here.

Only 20 pence a pound. Buy one, get two free. â&#x20AC;˘ Bob Dylan fan club requires second member. Contact FELIX Office for sympathy. â&#x20AC;˘ A n d all because he loved â&#x20AC;˘ Professional photographer needs female model for calendar project. Contact Doug King via FELIX Office. â&#x20AC;˘ So I was wrong. Big deal Charles Darwin. â&#x20AC;˘Dear Landlord please don't put a price on my soul. M y burden is heavy, my dreams are beyond control. When that steam boat whistle blo-o-o-ws I'm going to give you all I've got to give and I do hope you receive it weeeell depending on the way you feel that you live. â&#x20AC;˘ Felicity you're so full of electricity. Its quite an eccentricity. Let's do something illicitly. O h Felicity.

L A S A G N E MÂťC COPPER. 1 NEEP To H K k e A SoR.iMt, -3bKE K S O V A T

I Y o t t j V v m f i K - F O A t e , K CAT I JlO A CAR.Too|0 S T W f . ' CAT

February 17 1989

FELIX

)>-> C A M o o t O ?

Page 5

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g B y Nicholas Merriam This Christmas, the Imperial College Gliding Club shook off the winter blues with their flying holiday in the Shropshire hills. Home of the Midlands Gliding Club, the Long M y n d H i l l site often provides the best of this country's winter soaring conditions and pilots from all over the country go there during their New Year breaks.

W e t o w e d t w o single-seat aircraft and one two seater off to Shropshire a n d u p the perilous h i l l itself.

Students a n d ex-students made their w a y b y road or b y train, c o n v e r g i n g o n the small t o w n of C h u r c h Stretton. Despite getting one glider trailer completely stuck a n d n e e d i n g t w o cars to rescue it, w e e n d e d u p at the top of a bleak, w i n d s w e p t ridge hilf, our home for the next week.

A m o n g the novices of our g r o u p , I h a d come for a taste of flying away f r o m o u r h o m e site at L a s h a m i n H a m p s h i r e . A s I was to f i n d out, flying o n a small, w i n d y h i l l is very different f r o m the h u g e airfield to w h i c h I was accustomed. Since m i d October I have been learning to fly w i t h the Imperial College G l i d i n g

o n each glider. G l i d e r s are usually l a u n c h e d by one of t w o methods; winching a n d , less often, aerotouring. A e r o t o u r i n g involves being towed behind a powered light aircraft. The cheaper alternative is to attach the glider to a very p o w e r f u l w i n c h o n the g r o u n d , some distance away f r o m the launch p o i n t . The strong cable is d r a w n very quickly by the w i n c h . This h i g h speed, u p to sixty knots, allows the glider to climb very r a p i d l y to a height of about fourteen h u n d r e d feet. W h e n the glider gets near to the p o s i t i o n of the w i n c h , the cable is released a n d it is free to fly away.

The M i d l a n d s G l i d i n g C l u b have a second w i n c h back at the l a u n c h point w h i c h draws the m a i n cable back for the next glider. This lighter

a glider C l u b . A t the moment I must fly with a n instructor. For those of us i n this position, the C l u b had hired a w o o d e n two-seater glider i n a d d i t i o n to the usual two glass fibre gliders.

There i s a sense o f urgency as gliders are wheeled out of the tightly p a c k e d hangar o n little trolleys.

Pilots are eager for the chance to fly a n d gliders must be carefully inspected a n d t h e n p u s h e d out to the l a u n c h point to j o i n the queue.

Since very few people can afford a glider a n d gliders are quite h e a v y to m o v e a r o u n d a n d l a u n c h , there are several people waiting for a turn

Page 6

cable is attached to the e n d of the m a i n cable so that there need be no delay after the glider has released.

T he reason for the L o n g M y n d ' s popularity a m o n g glider pilots is simple. W h e n the w i n d blows i n the right direction it is forced to f l o w over the l o n g ridge h i l l a n d this produces a l o n g b a n d of r i s i n g air o n the w i n d w a r d side. A p a r t f r o m the l a u n c h a glider or sailplane has only one source of energy: rising air.

A l t h o u g h a glider must always sink through its surrounding air i n order to fly, if that s u r r o u n d i n g air rises fast e n o u g h the glider w i l l actually climb. Soaring flight involves;

staying aloft for a prolonged p e r i o d of time b y u s i n g this lift, either to a v o i d descent or to recover height lost flyng i n still or s i n k i n g air.

Unfortunately, this means that the L o n g M y n d is at its best o n l y w h e n the w i n d is strong and coming from the right direction. O n e one day I d i d get an extended flight, h a v i n g f o u n d r i s i n g air caused by n o t h i n g apparent.

The flight w a s p r e c e d e d , as always, by a series of control checks a n d strapping myself i n w e l l . T h e n came the rocket-like acceleration as the w i n c h p o w e r e d u s forwards, a n d the steep climb to get as m u c h height as possible. In moments the l a u n c h was over, the cable released and we were free. M y instructor had pointed out that a number of gliders h a d been accumulating i n one area a n d seemed to be staying u p there, so w e set off to join t h e m .

R The day of St Valentine has come a n d gone, a n d o n top of that w e are n o w b u s y recovering f r o m that other major event i n the C h r i s t i a n calendar.

A l l those w h o immediately thought Walter was referring to the budget, go a n d stand i n the nearest corner. H e was, and is, referring to Shrove Tuesday.

The original derivation of Shrove Tuesday was the desire of Christians to use u p all their r e m a i n i n g scraps of f o o d , i n order to prevent it becoming a festering pile d u r i n g the fasting time of Lent. This has been submerged i n the m o d e r n desire to lay i n m i g h t y stocks of l e m o n a n d h o n e y , prior to the manufacture of pancakes; a noble task.

Y o u might gather f r o m that last comment that Walter is a considerable devotee of pancakes, a n d he is put i n m i n d at this point of a physicist f r i e n d w h o desired to The r i s i n g air was l i m i t e d i n area prove that it was impossible for a and since it is not possible to simply standard c o m p o s i t i o n pancake to stop i n it w e circled. O n e of the arts stick to the ceiling. The experiment of soaring is to be able to find a circle was conducted i n impeccable style: w i t h i n an invisible c o l u m n of air.

M a k e pancake, p r o p e l u p w a r d s O u r indicator is the position of f r o m p a n , observe result. This gliders already circling. Careful a n d technique p r o v e d to have one fatal precise flying is required w h e n near flaw, w h i c h was that i n order to other gliders i n this situation. Y o u observe, o n e has to stand must be careful to keep a close eye underneath, so to speak; a risky o n the other gliders a r o u n d y o u and procedure, a n d all the more so i n y o u must fly an even, accurate circle the light of the eventual f i n d i n g s of to make the most of the lift. Poor the said physicist, w h i c h may be flying i n this respect causes y o u r s u m m a r i s e d i n the ancient phrase, circle to drift out of the area of lift ' W h a t goes u p , must come d o w n . ' a n d to slip d o w n faster than is Physicists are a remarkable l o t , necessary. i n d e e d . W a l t e r is n o p h y s i c a l scientist, preferring to stand pat This is w h e n all the h a r d w o r k o n w i t h those w h o study social the g r o u n d s u d d e n l y seems systems; he therefore tends to have w o r t h w h i l e , gently d r i f t i n g , b i r d a difficult time u n d e r s t a n d i n g the like, across the countryside. This finer points of, for example, the area of Shropshire is particularly scenic a n d , gazing d o w n at the branch of physics w h i c h he feels w o u l d be best n a m e d 'Jolly S m a l l tranquil valleys, there is s u d d e n l y Particles and T h i n g s ' . This is not nowhere y o u w o u l d rather be. made any easier b y the w a y i n A t several thousand feet above the w h i c h our P h y s i c a l brethren insist valley floor, fields become o n n a m i n g their particles. Q u a r k , patchwork decorations w i t h t o y C h a r m a n d Superstring are names houses a n d miniature roads. Y o u w h i c h s p r i n g to m i n d . It w o u l d be even feel at one w i t h yourself, i n c h u r l i s h t o speculate that t h e h a r m o n y w i t h nature, as y o u float reasoning b e h i n d these names is b y effortlessly. that they are easy to spell.

F r o m the air, the landing area h a d l o o k e d like a picnic blanket but A n o t n e r set ot things w h i c h are s u d d e n l y it seemed large as w e for once easy to spell, is the list of pushed the glider back to the launch this year's sabbatical candidates. queue.

N o w that the papers have gone u p , A l l i n all, I th o r o u gh l y enjoyed Walter is obliged to refrain f r o m myself a n d I have got m y name mentioning any of those names, but d o w n for next year. candidates need not think that they If y o u w o u l d like to join us, come have escaped scrutiny altogether; along to a G l i d i n g C l u b meeting one once the w h o l e s h o u t i n g match is T h u r s d a y afternoon. W e meet at over, the full story may be published 5.30pm i n A e r o 254. in full.

FELIX

February 17 1989

l Imperial College U n i o n ' s

l 20th-25th February Chairman's Message Welcome to International Week, the major annual event organised by the Overseas Students' Committee (OSC). This year's International Week will be held during the third week of February (February 20 to February 25, 1989).

The climax of the International Week will be the International Night on February 25. Throughout the night, you will be offered excellent opportunities to taste delicious food from various parts of the world (Italian pasta or Chinese P e k i n g d u ck a n d , to enjoy fascinating Afro-Caribbean disco dancing, or to be lost i n the traditional Brazilian Carnival. The programme also includes a national culture exhibition, a national fashion/ clothes show and a Chinese variety show.

Pakistan Pakistan is situated i n the Indian subcontinent between India a n d Iran. Its history can be traced back to 2500 B C w h e n a highly developed civilisation flourished i n the Indus V a l l e y . P a k i s t a n i cities were flourishing before Babylon was built and its people practised the art of g o o d l i v i n g before th e A n c i e n t Greeks.

Italy Italy has l o n g been k n o w n for its sense of style, its openness to the w o r l d ' s cultures a n d its tradition of excellence i n the arts, science a n d architecture.

In the last few years a n u m b e r of Italian students a n d students w i t h Italian ties have increased a n d the society was set u p the i n order to give people the opportunity to k n o w more about one of the leading E u r o p e a n countries.

A n y o n e interested i n j o i n i n g the Italian Society, please contact M r Rony durek, C h e m E n g 2 or internal 4403.

It is a fascinating country as there you can go skiing or trekking among the highest mountains i n the w o r l d , w a n d e r a r o u n d o n sites of ancient civilisations, see historic places such as the K h y b e r Pass or s i m p l y enjoy the breathtaking beauty of o u r N o r t h e r n areas.

Hellenic Society The Pakistan Society at IC aims to T he H e l l e n i c Society's a i m is t o promote every aspect of Pakistan promote the national a n d cultural and act as a social platform f o r features of Greece i n I C .

Pakistanis at I C w e celebrate a l l Greece, a country w i t h a history Pakistani national holidays a n d of t h r e e t h o u s a n d y e a r s i s Lastly, if you don't want to miss squash, cricket a n d football are considered b y m a n y people as the the Frank Bruno vs Mike Tyson a m o n g our sports activities. origin of civilisation. It's the joining fight, don't worry, there will be a M Saeed Khan, Pet Eng PG b o n d between Europe, A s i a a n d large screen T V to show the event President Pakistan Society.

A f r i c a . The l a n d of the s u n a n d the Tieniu Tan, Chairman OSC. sea.

Nigeria D u r i n g m a n y years of its r o u g h Malaysia N i g e r i a is a nation of about 100 history, Greece was u n d er foreign H e r e ' s the place of s u n - w a s h e d m i l l i o n people w i t h a l a n d mass of occupation. G r e e k people have l a n d s c a p e , of d a p p l e d t r e e s , about one million square kilometres. made an enormous struggle to gain s p a r k l i n g shores, lakes a n d bays, T he climate is typically tropical i n their national independence a n d graceful people, different races the south and mainly sub-tropical i n just i n the early years of this living harmoniously. the northern parts of the c o u n t r y . c e n t u r y , G r e e c e â&#x20AC;&#x201D; a s it s t a n d s M a l a y s i a is situated i n Southeast A multi-cultural nation w i t h a todayâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;was formed. N o w a d a y s A s i a just north of the equator. It l o n g s t a n d i n g a n d rich artistic G r e e k people are w o r k i n g f o r consits of two regions, P e n i n s u l a progress and peace i n their country expression, N i g e r i a is k n o w n for its M a l a y s i a , o n the southernmost tip w o o d carving, bronze a n d brass and i n the w h o l e w o r l d . of m a i n l a n d A s i a a n d East M a l a y s i a castings, leather w o r k s , d y e i n g , D Estaxiopoulos, Maths PG. on Borneo Island. It is a rich a n d painting a n d embroidery. fertile l a n d p o p u l a t e d by some 17 / F Durodola, Mech Eng PG m i l l i o n people made u p of M a l a y s , Cyprus Chairman, Nigerian Society. a n d the Chinese, Indians, The cliches of the Mediterranean indigenous people of East Malaysia. holiday really d o come true i n O n e w o r d describes M a l a y s i a .

Chinese Society C y p r u s , the longest i s l a n d i n the Fascinating. S i m p l y because of its T he C h i n e s e Society is one of the East Mediterranean. The s u n really i m m e n s e variety of attractions. major overseas societies at Imperial does shine bright for most of the H i s t o r i c b u i l d i n g s river safaris, C o l l e g e , w i t h w e l l o v e r 100 year a n d the beaches really are snake temples, scuba d i v i n g , orang members. u n s p o i l e d . B e h i n d this tranquility, utans, golf, b i r d w a t c h i n g , sailing, D u r i n g the session 1988-89 w e however, lurks a l o n g history of handicraft, or just s u n a n d surf, it's have organised functions such as foreign rule g o i n g back some 8000 all i n M a l a y s i a . Perhaps the most the Farewell Party, Sports Exchange years.

Cyprus became an fascinating of all h o w e v e r is th e w i t h R e a d i n g U n i v e r s i t y , 'Easter independent state i n 1960. In 1974 people.

Malaysia's many Ladies N i g h t ' disco, Freshers' Party, T u r k i s h forces i n v a d e d C y p r u s . A s c o m m u n i t i e s each has its o w n a trip to A l t o n Towers, piano recital, a result 40% of the island was dances, dramas a n d festivals, a l l N e w Year's Eve d i n n e r , variety occupied a n d o n e t h i r d of the throughout the year. s h o w a n d many other events. So w e population uprooted. Today, fifteen provide the intellectual, cultural and Imperial College Malaysia Society years later, T u r k e y continues its physical recreation of members. provides the opportunity for u n l a w f u l o c c u p a t i o n . E v e n as students to meet a n d socialise a n d E u r o p e becomes u n i te d , C y p r u s , a It s o u n d intersting doesn't it? So w e welcome anyone w h o wishes to s m a l l E u r o p e a n state r e m a i n s come along to one of our functions sample our w a r m hospitality. divided. a n d f i n d o u t m o r e about th e Chinese Society. / J gg'> Mech Eng 2 E Evzeniou, Mech Eng 2 President, Malaysia Society Pandola Ho, Micro Biology President Cypriot Society.

Sri Lanka The island of Sri Lanka (Ceylon) has h e l d a special fascination for the visitor over m a n y centuries. It has been said that 'there is no i s l a n d i n the w o r l d that has attracted the attention of authors i n so m a n y distant ages a n d so m a n y different countries as C e y l o n ' a n d also that 'there is probably n o place that o c c u r s s o f r e q u e n t l y o r is so correctly situated i n ancient maps.

T o d a y the Republic of S r i L a n k a has a p o p u l a t i o n of over 16 m i l l i o n people. It's e c o n o m y is largely agricultural a n d consists of rice cultivation, rice b e i n g th e staple f o o d , a n d three major commercial crops: tea (for w h i c h the i s l a n d is w o r l d famous), rubber and coconut.

Some of its ancient exports such as gems, c i n a m o n a n d spices retain an important place i n the e c o n o m y .

The principal nationality, c o m p r i s i n g a b o u t 8 0 % of t h e p o p u l a t i o n , is the Sinhalese. The other major n a t i o n a l i t y is t h e T a m i l s , speakers o f th e T a m i l language a n d mostly followers of Hinduism.

Samantha Kappagode, Maths 3 President Sri Lanka Society.

Singapore T he M a l a y A n n a l s record that Singapore derives its name f r o m ' S i n g a ' w h i c h means l i o n . This is probably f r o m the anecdote of a M a l a y prince n a m i n g the city after sighting the beast i n the i s l a n d .

The country h a s n o national resources but its d y n a m i c people have made Singapore into the most important finance, p r o d u c t i o n a n d trading centre between H o n g K o n g and the Persian G u l f .

The IC Singapore Society aims to promote interaction a n d f r i e n d s h i p between Singaporean a n d n o n Singaporean students of the College and also introduce the cultures a d philosophies of S o u t h East A s i a .

Y o u can experience S o u t h East A s i a n cooking at the Singapore food stall at International N i g h t w h e n w e w i l l be offering F r i e d Bee H o o n (or vermicilli), Tao H u Goreng (beancurd salad).

H a p p y Eating.

Karen Phua, Chemistry 2 President Singapore Society.

en

February 17 1989

FELIX

Special feature o n T u r k e y page 4.

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s e Y o u get to grips w i t h the Q u e e n of the f i l m . What do y o u t h i n k of your chances of an honorary knighthood, now?

Breakfast w o u l d n ' t be b a d ! In C a n a d a the monarchists were very offended a n d I suspect that there w i l l be a few people w h o w i l l be offended. That's the w a y it goes.

But i n general 1 think that the v e i n of h u m o u r w i l l carry the day a n d there'll be n o b i g deal.

n d Leslie N i e l s e n is one of those actors w i t h an instantly recognisable face, if not name. H e has appeared i n a r o u n d sixty films a n d over o n e thousand A m e r i c a n T V shows. But, o n l y n o w , at the age of 62,is he receiving w i d e s p r e a d international fame a n d star status.

W h a t type of people make y o u laugh?

A n y o n e w h o catches m e off guard. I like d u m b things. I like wit.

1 will try a n y t h i n g a n d everything to get a l a u g h .

Before n o w , many of us k n e w h i m as the silver h a i r e d doctor i n Airplane, produced by the Z A Z team (Zucker, A b r a h a m s , Zucker). H e f o l l o w e d that w i t h a short l i v e d c o m e d y series, Police Squad; a p a r o d y of all those U S cop s h o w s .

H e p l a y e d the b u m b l i n g L A cop Lt. Frank D r e b i n .

In The Naked gun, he reprises the role i n a n hilarious f i l m version of Police Squad made, w i t h their usual lack of subtlety, b y the Z A Z team.

In the o p e n i n g sequence D r e b i n goes o n holiday to Beirut 'to get some peace', a n d ends u p battling the A y a t o l l a h , I d i A m i n G a d a f f i , Arafat a n d Gorbachev i n a fist-fight!

T he f i l m also stars P r e s c i l l a Presley, i n her first big screen role, and R i c a r d o M o n t a l b a n as the m a s t e r m i n d of a plot to assassinate the Q u e e n .

Director D a v i d Z u c k e r says 'I think that, b e h i n d the jokes and the g a g s , The Naked gun h a s a n important message. It's one m a n ' s struggle w i t h i n himself to defeat the d e m o n s that terrorise the s o u l , set against the backdrop of the Crimean War.' W e w e r e n ' t quite c o n v i n c e d , so we caught u p w i t h Leslie Nielsen o n his recent visit to L o n d o n to get a few answers.

W h a t about B r i t i s h h u m o u r ?

I like British h u m o u r . A lot of A m e r i c a n h u m o u r takes y o u by the h a n d a n d leads y o u t h r o u g h to the joke. I n British comedy y o u ' r e left to f i n d the joke yourself. But if it makes me laugh I like it.

series w h o w a s a n expert o n everything f r o m h o w to coach baseball, to doing a brain operation.

W e always h a d a phrase, ' G o f i n d out what the w o r d is o n the street', m e a n i n g ' G o get y o u r shoeshine', and I'd say 'What's happening w i t h the g y m n a s i u m k i d n a p p i n g ' , a n d h e ' d say ' O h , I w o u l d n ' t k n o w about that', l o o k i n g u p a n d d o w n the street. Y o u give h i m a dollar and then he talks, spilling the beans, telling y o u h o w to do a n y t h i n g a n d everything.

A t the e n d of the s h o w w e have a freeze frame. W e d i d n ' t have e n o u g h money, so w e ' d freeze manually. So I'd be talking w i t h m y boss. H e says at the e n d 'It's really w o n d e r f u l , justice being d o n e ' . I ' d H e w a l k s into the r o o m dressed casually as if h e ' s just been for a say "That's right'—he freezes. N o w h e ' d smile a n d I ' d be s m i l i n g but w a l k i n the park. H i s m o o d is h e ' d be p o u r i n g coffee t h r o u g h m y relaxed and jovial. H e sits d o w n a n d fingers. i m m e d i a t e l y offers us a m i n t . ' A n y b o d y want a p i l l ' , he chuckles.

It has become a k i n d of a cult T h i s g u y is n o t y o u r u s u a l s h o w i n the States a n d even w h e n H o l l y w o o d leading man. w e were taken off the air after four s h o w s , i n L A alone they received over 20,000 letters f r o m people w h o C a n y o u t e l l m e s o m e t h i n g about were terribly offended, as w e l l as y o u r t e l e v i s i o n series?

It w a s called Police Squad, a n d it critics conducting letter w r i t i n g campaigns w h o were totally was i n m y o p i n i o n o n e of the offended that A B C h a d the audacity f u n n i e s t series. W e h a d some w o n d e r f u l things i n it. W e h a d a and insensitivity to take this breath guest star each week w h o d i e d i n of fresh air off the air.' the m a i n title, stars like L o m e His tone gets slightly harsher giving G r e e n e , B i l l C o n r a d a n d John the impression that he would like very B e l u s h i . I n the movie a n d the T V much to string up and dismember each s h o w we h a d Big AI—he was too tall of the ABC executives responsible. and w e d i d n ' t have e n o u g h m o n e y But i n a n y event it d i d n ' t belong to get h i s h e a d i n the frame. on television because it's the k i n d W e h a d a shoe-shine g u y i n the of h u m o u r that y o u must p a y

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attention to, a n d w h e n y o u have somethig u p o n the b i g screen, where y o u ' v e gone there to v i e w it specifically and since it's bigger than life y o u ' d see things y o u d o n ' * see on T V . Television is like a n adjunct to the f a m i l y — y o u get u p i n the m o r n i n g a n d y o u t u r n it o n , a n d you c a n hear i t , i t ' s i n the b a c k g r o u n d . If y o u hear a laugh or a noise y o u take a quick look a n d somebody c a n tell y o u w h a t h a p p e n e d but y o u listen to it, y o u don't watch it. With us, o u r h u m o u r , y o u really have to watch and p a y attention because of its craziness.

At this time someone opens a door by mistake. 'Wait a minute', he says putting on a serious face, 'We do police work here'. The guy is scared off. 'See how easy it is'—he smirks.

H o w and w h y d i d y o u get i n v o l v e d w i t h this type of h u m o u r ? ' W h e n I got the script (to Airplane) for the first time, I called m y agent and said 'I d o n ' t want y o u to negotiate this. D o n ' t tell them, but I'll pay t h e m to d o the part! I ' m o n that wavelength, that's m y k i n d of humour—that style of insanity.

After watching the crisis drama shows that I've been doing through the years, I began l a u g h i n g at myself, at the grave situations w e were i n v o l v e d i n . S o I k n e w immediately w h y they wante d m e for Airplane, because if I behave as seriously as I d i d i n m y regular w o r k , this stuff w o u l d be very funny.

FELIX

W h a t about P r i s c i l l a Presley? D i d she take w e l l to p l a y i n g comedy?

She took to it so easily. She's a very elegant a n d beautiful w o m a n .

I think that's part of the exterior she wishes to present to people. S o there she was, across the stage o n our first day. The m o m e n t I caught he eyes I went.

He erases his eyes.

A n d she went, He crosses his eyes again and makes a silly face.

A n d that was it. So you've got this elegant w o m a n w h o ' s got that eleven year-old girl w o r k i n g inside, ready to make faces. So I k n e w then that w e ' d have a lot of f u n , a n d w e did.

Y o u ' r e i n the hands of people like Z A Z . I have such a b i d i n g respect and admiration for t h e m . They're very f u n n y and supportive. If y o u think about the h u m o u r i n the picture there's n o t h i n g mean spirited about it. It's just affectionate s o m e h o w , so there's n o w a y that Prescilla w o u l d not d o w e l l .

A t w h a t p o i n t w o u l d y o u d r a w the l i n e w i t h their h u m o u r ?

W i t h the Zuckers I have such respect f o r t h e m , n o t o n l y as professionals b u t h u m a n s that I w o u l d d o almost a n y t h i n g t h e y ' d say. I n t h e e n d I trust their judgement completely. For example, i n the slaughterhouse scene, w e h a d a terrific v o m i t sequence that w e cut. It w a s just gross. I w a s a little w o r r i e d about the ' H i t the F a n ' sequence i n Airplane, b u t D a v i d (Zucker) took me to a theatre a n d , of course, the kids went m a d . S o I trust their judgement.

February 17 1989

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'It doesn't metter if y o u ' r e rich or poor, as long as y o u can afford anything o n the planet y o u c o u l d ever want.' A n objective view of life imparted by A r t h u r Bach to his new H o w successful has the f i l m been?

President B u s h , w h o w i l l instruct buttle Fairchild. M a n y a true w o r d , me that the undercover assignment It's done to date about $70 million. as they say. is to find M r Big, i n charge of I don't k n o w what the figures mean Dudley Moore has returned to the myself, b u t those w h o d o are international narcotics. screen as the lovable tipsy m u l t i g r i n n i n g a n d l a u g h i n g and w a l k i n g M r Big is going to have to be millionaire, still q u i p p i n g his w a y around whistling.

Ricardo Montalban, w h o died in the t h r o u g h opulent frolics w i t h wife first f i l m , but he's going to have an L i n d a (Liza Minelli), despite the loss evil twin, maybe quintruplets—if we A r e y o u n o w a b i g star? of his butler and best friend H o b s o n had five stories maybe Ricardo can H o w d o y o u measure that? If it's (John G i e l g u d ) . die five different times. exposure—yes. If I ' m associated The replacement comes i n the w i t h this type of f u n then I ' m The shoeshine guy w i l l be back form of Fairchild (Paul Benedict) delighted a n d I hope it continues. and, I think, the freeze frame. I hope who offers a sterile subservience they get back to what the series was b e y o n d the call of d u t y . ' H o b s o n originally.

W h a t w o u l d y o u l i k e to do next? used to hit me w i t h his hat' says I d o n ' t k n o w . I ' m an actor. I've A r t h u r ' a n d call me a spoilt little been at it all m y life. I'm still w i l l i n g D o y o u t h i n k t h e r e ' l l be another s h i t . ' W e must have gone to to try everythin g a n d 1 enjoy it a series o f Police Squad o n T V ? different buttlering schools, sir', great deal. I hope serious parts are I d o n ' t think so. I w o u l d prefer replies the astonished Fairchild. not r u l e d out. not, myself. It doesn't belong o n This is the only n e w face i n the television. I w o u l d be quite h a p p y sequel to th e 1981 s m a sh h i t . to do one of these insane movies Is there g o i n g to be a f o l l o w - u p to A r t h u r ' s w o u l d be w i f e , S us an this film? each year, for a short while anyway.

H o h n s o n , and her father Burt return Yes, they have already b e g u n it. to hatch a plot aimed at forcing They were told to go ahead before A n d so our meeting ends and Leslie A r t h u r into marriage, the principal we h a d even o p e n e d i n the States.

Nielsen departs to tackle the likes of move is seizing control of the family I, as Frank D r e b i n , w o u l d like to go W o g a n , o n the usual publicity train, I b u s i n e s s , a n d i n t h e p r o c e s s undercover as a brain surgeon, I and then back to A m e r i c a to make removing Arthur's personal t h i n k . T h e y ' l l have me g o i n g to the more insane movies.

I fortune. H e visits g r a n d m a M a r t h a O v a l Office where I ' l l be met b y I w h o tells h i m 'Burt Johnson has got

Ø

PREVIE

s

It's the combination of the y e a r A r n o l d Schwarzeneggar (Red Heat, Predator) and D a n n y De Vito (Throw Mamma from the Train) as tw i n s separated at b i r t h . They are the product of an experiment in science.

Schwarzeneggar plays Julius, the perfect specimen, w h o has been raised o n a South Seas island. De V i t o as Vincent, a less than perfect specimen, a small time hustler.

Julius seeks o u t Vincent a n d together they try to track d o w n their mother, encountering adventure o n the w a y . Julius discovers sex a n d Vincent discovers responsibility.

W e l l , it s o u n d s to m e l i k e

February 17 1989

FELIX

this family by the nuts. M a r r y the b i t c h . ' A r t h u r is determined to get a job a n d survive w i t h L i n d a , w h o hopes to adopt a baby.

A t this point there is a sharp change i n t h e script, hitherto a m u s i n g a n d at t i m e s e v e n hilarious. A s events c o m p o u n d against h i m A r t h u r loses L i n d a , his last grip o n sobriety, a n d most importantly his witty diaglogue. The f i l m develops into a rather o d d b l e n d of tear-jerker a n d c o m e d y .

The parallel deprivation of a rich man w i t h o u t money a n d a mother w i t h o u t a c h i l d are s h o w n , d i s p l a y e d as t h e u n d e r l y i n g substance of the m o v i e . In h i s alcoholically d e l u d e d state A r t h u r has hallucinations of H o b s o n , w h o s h o w s h i m h o w to create th e unfeasibly h a p p y e n d i n g w h i c h we can all forsee.

W h e n G i e l g u d appears, skillfully avoiding a caricature of his definitive Spitting Image self, it becomes clear what both A r t h u r ' s life a n d the f i l m have been lacking all along. H i s reappearance provides the best sequence of the story, a welcome resurgence.

Despite this, a n d regardless of M o o r e ' s ability as a comedy actor, Arthur 2 doesn't quite make th e grade. It is generally f u n n y where it tries to be, and certainly tore at m y heart-strings where it h o p e d to, but overall it remains a c o n f u s i on of c o n f l i c t i n g f e e l i n g s . . T h e r e are several more entertaining f i l m s a r o u n d a n d I r e c o m m e n d y o u go and see one of those instead.

Andrew Clarke.

someone had the great idea one day of teaming u p A r n i e a n d De V i t o i n a film, but then forgot to p r o v i d e t h e m w i t h a plot. It w i l l be very interesting to see Schwarzeneggar actually trying to play intentional comedy. H e even makes his singing debut in this film. The mere thought curdles m y senses.

De V i t o m ay be a lot more adept at c o m e d y b u t s e e m s t o be rehashing his character of L o u i e f r o m Taxi.

It's a publicists dream, a n d a chance for critics to sharpen their tongues. I think curiousity alone w i l l ensure that this f i l m is a hit. It's a clever p l o y o n the part of the f i l m company—whether the film is good or bad it'll have people l a u g h i n g .

In the States the press tore it to shreds, the public went to see it i n droves and A r n i e ' s wallet got fatter and fatter. H e ' l l be r u n n i n g f o r public office next.

Release Date 17th M a r c h .

S u m it G u h a .

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A n B y D a v i o Fo, Franca Rame, performed b y Gillian Hanna at the Half Moon Theatre, Mile End Road.

T he title is m i s l e a d i n g i n that this is a c o m p i l a t i o n of three m o n o l o gu es p e r f o r m e d soley by G i l l i a n H a n n a (of t h e a l l - f e m a l e ' M o n s t r o u s R e g i m e n t ' Theatre G r o u p ) .

'Bless m e Father f o r I have s i n n e d ' , was originally set i n Italy w h e n the R e d Brigade were r a m p a g i n g . O n e t r a n s l a t i o n to E n gl i s h the comparable setting was considered to be the Republic of Ireland just after the h e y d a y of flower p o w e r . For this playlet the theatre was filled w i t h incense, as it took place i n a c h u r c h i n the f o r m of a confessional w i t h a priest. T he confessor was a fifty year o l d h i p p y .

H e r story was a m o v i n g one of imperfect motherly love, a n d h o w she came to be a h i p p y . T h e portrayal o f this mature w o m a n sitting cross-legged o n the c h u r c h floor r e c o u n t i n g h o w she got h i g h o n h o o c h , is extremely f u n n y . It is also touching, though the i n t r o d u c t i o n of politics (the author w r o t e Accidental Death of an Anarchist) is somewhat c l u m s y a n d completely unnecessary.

t t Short Circuit was a cinema hit about three years ago. It was all about a cute little robot i n the big bad w o r l d , w i t h the intelligence a n d selfa w a r e n e s s of a Q M C s t u d e n t courtesy of a h a n d y l i g h t n i n g bolt.

In the sequel, one of the designers of the robot, N u m b e r Five, gets totally hacked off w i t h m a k i n g weapons a n d goes off to N e w Y o r k

w i t h that day. The m a n i n question she describes as being 'not quite sure if he's A C or D C .

This is a comedy—a bit of a jolt The Rape is so tense a n d so after t h e d e a d l y serious p l a y i n v o l v i n g that for the duration of the preceding i t — w i t h a French farce m o n o l o g u e it seems that the o n l y twist at the e n d . object to have e v e n existed was the The u n i f y i n g idea b e h i n d these humiliated a n d down-trodden m o n o l o gu es is to give a bit more w o m a n sitting o n the chair. She is juice to the feminist cause, although an English w o m a n of indeterminate not militantly, b y s h o w i n g the age w h o recounts her experience w o m a n ' s point of v i e w . w i t h o u t any r u n n i n g about, u n l i k e The theatre is close to Stepney the o t h e r m o n o l o g u e s . F r a n c a G r e e n tube and is a horrible breezeR a m e , w h o wrote this, was herself block b a r n . P h o n e 790 4000 for r a p e d , a n d t h e i n t e n s i t y of information. autobiography shows through i n Adam. the detail of the account. 'I w a n t e d to d r o w n the chaos i n m y h e a d ' to the ' s p e r m t r i c k l i n g d o w n m y legs' s h o w p o w e r f u l l y the h u m i l i a t i o n and degradation at the hands of those m e n , a n d the terror of further h u m i l i a t i o n at the h a n d s of the police.

In Coming Home G i l l i a n H a n n a plays a t r u l y ' c o m m o n w o m a n ' i n the o l d E n g l i s h s n o b b y sense. She is i n her late twenties a n d lives i n a c o u n c i l house. I n a fit of severe frustration w i t h her b u s b a n d , she goes ot to f i n d herself some love to assuage h e r p a s s i o n . There is a w o n d e r f u l b e d scene i n w h i c h she leaps about w i t h a p i l l o w p r e t e n d i n g it's the m a n she's been

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to make and sell toy N u m b e r Fives.

H e lands a big contract to b u i l d 1000 in time for Christmas so he calls i n the real N u m b e r Five to help out.

A l l this is complicated b y a jewel robbery sub-plot foiled by our alloy friend. (Perhaps the toy robots are the sub-plot, I d o n ' t k n o w . ) Basically the f i l m is a mixture of plots a n d characters f r o m other films, so badly put together y o u can almost see the joins. T h e star, N u m b e r Five seems to be a cute metalic ET w i t h a f u n n y voice a n d reminiscent of Crocodile D u n d e e i n the big city for the first time.

T h e c h a r a c t e r of t h e r o b o t designer is Indian, a n d is played by a m a d e - u p w h i t e A m e r i c a n actor i n such a patronising a n d cliched w a y

m y Salaam Bombay, released i n Britian a couple of weeks ago must be a c k n o w l e d g e d as a m a s t e r f u l accomplishment of cinematography.

M i r a N a i r i n her directorial debut of a feature has enchantingly captured the emotions, the comradeship a n d s u f f e r i n g o f B o m b a y ' s street urchins. N o aspect of the street life is left untouched as the story follows the central character, C h a i p a u , t h r o u g h his existence i n a maze of prostitution, p i m p s a n d p e d d l i n g .

This f i l m is a tribute to h u m a n resilience i n an environment where y o u are y o u r o n l y f r i e n d . M i r a has u s e d the camera w i t h finesse, leaving one w i t h lingering images such as w h e n a y o u n g girl is s h o w n scratching o n the w i n d o w of her mother's b e d r o o m like a n alley cat w h i l e w a t c h i n g her mother ' w o r k ' w i t h a client. The f i l m is a t r i u m p h because, ultimately, it is a tribute to h u m a n nature, f o r it shows that even i n bleak circumstances the

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that some people might find the film offensive, just like Peter Sellers i n The Party b u t w i t h o u t the comic genius of Sellers. There is a n inevitable romantic interlude i n w h i c h B e n , the I n d i a n designer is helped out by N u m b e r Five (just like Roxanne).

In H o l l y w o o d today, true originality is rare a n d precious, but in this f i l m the plagiarism is almost painfully o b v i o u s . There are g o o d moments but these are not all that frequent and many of the jokes have been seen before.

W h e n all said a n d done this is a t o l e r a b l e 90 m i n u t e s o f m i s entertainment, more suited to video than the c i n e m a .

Mike Morton.

street urchins s how occasions of the noble sentiments of love and care for others even t h o u g h their o w n s u r v i v a l is uncertain. The f i l m ends with Chaipau sobbing uncontrollably—he is fated to lead a life of misery.

This is not a f i l m that w i l l make y o u cry. It is a masterpiece that w i l l make y o u admire the beauty of f i l m for capturing h u m a n behaviour of its worst a n d best a m i d the colour of the streets of B o m b a y . Salaam Bombay is an international success w i n n i n g the C a m e r a d ' O r a w a r d at C a n n e s . E v e n t h o u g h the dialogue is not i n E n g l i s h (the subtitles s h o w e d g o o d translation) this w i l l not detract f r o m the enjoyment of a f i l m where the images are of the foremost importance.

D o not miss this p o w e r f u l treat, w h i c h is also helping to raise money for the rehabilitation of B o m b a y ' s street urc hins.

Yishu Nanda.

Due to the lack of space this week, a n u m b e r of reviews c o u l d not be accommodated. W e apologise to the reviewers concerned a n d h o p e to include their material next week. W e w i l l also have reviews of the final three plays i n the War of the Roses series.

February 17 1989

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w Ladies, G e n t l e m e n a n d yet more g e n t l e m e n of Imperial C o l l e g e , F E L I X is p r o u d to announce the reappearance of the Science Page.

This week w e present a peculiar article o n strange matter. To come: Holography and Optical C o m p u t i n g and a n explosive article o n C h e r n o b y l . T h i s , h o w e v e r , m a y be w h e r e w e have to stop. A page like this, i n a college like this s h o u l d be bursting w i t h articles o n a myriad of s u b j e c t s f r o m a e r o n a u t i c s to zoology.

It is as dense as an atomic nucleus but several thousand times the size. It can devour matter and we may soon be able to make it. It is, as Simon Bradshaw explains 'Strange Matter.'

g Imagine a f o r m of matter so dense that a speck b i g e n o u g h to see w o u l d w e i g h millions of tonnes. A f o r m of matter that eats n o r m a l matter releasing incredible amounts of energy. A f o r m of matter that c o u l d have a dramatic impact o n science a n d t e c h n o l o g y . S o o n perhaps y o u w o n ' t have to imagine it, because s e v e r a l t h e o r e t i c a l physicists seriously think that they can make it.

W h a t w e are talking about is strange matter. Its name comes not f r o m its u n u s u a l properties but rather because it contains so-called 'strange quarks'. But what exactly is a quark a n d w h y are some types stranger than others?

Matter is made of atoms, a n d atoms are made of electrons surrounding a nucleus. The nucleus is made of heavy particles called" protons a n d neutrons, a n d if y o u If y o u are a researcher c o n v i n c e d left physics at O or A level that is that y o u r latest project w i l l be the likely to be as far i n as y o u got. greatest leap f o r w a r d this century, Physicists are n o w fairly confident or if y o u are a humble that they k n o w s o m e t h i n g of the undergraduate w i t h a pet subject, I w a n t to hear f r o m y o u . I d o not structure of these particles; they believe t h e m to be made of even want this page to sink w i t h o u t trace more fundamental particles called beneath the boundless reserves of quarks (after a reference i n James apathy for w h i c h I C is r e n o w n e d .

Joyce's Finnegan's Wake). C u r r e n t S u r e l y not every p e r s o n i n college theory calls for six quarks, d u b b e d wants to become an accountant or U p , D o w n , C h a r m , Strange, T o p IndSoc chair. S o m e w h e r e , b u r i e d and Bottom. They all have either 2/3 deep i n some forgotten corner of or -1/3 of the charge of a p r o t o n , some forgotten lab there is someone incontrast to n o r m a l subatomic w i t h a genuine e n t h u s i a s m for his particles w h i c h have w h o l e number subject. Professors, P h D s , B E n g s , charges (e.g a proton has +1 charge, BScs, M D s , u n d e r g r a d s , labtechs an electron has -1 charge). get y o u r pencils out a n d write. This is a b r o a d c h u r c h : articles o n A proton is thought to be made u p subjects such a science and politics, of t w o U p s a n d a D o w n , w h i l s t science a n d p h i l o s o p h y , science, aneutron w o u l d be t w o D o w n s and d r u g s a n d rock a n d r o l l w i l l all be an U p . Since matter is m a i n l y welcome. protons or neutrons (electrons d o not contain quarks) then it is mainly A f e w ideas to get y o u started. Last made u p of U p a n d D o w n quarks. w e e k ' s F E L I X carried a feature But there are other quarks available, . p r o c l a i m i n g creation superior to and they c o u l d w e l l have a h a n d e v o l u t i o n as a theory. For G o d ' s too. sake, to c o i n a phrase, w i l l some devout evolutionist reply? A few weeks ago, a former union president advocated closing m u c h of the royal college of science. Let the voices o f the scientists be h e a r d .

If y o u have a w r i t t e n article, or just a few spare ideas, I w i l l be delighted to hear f r o m y o u . P o p into the office any l u n c h t i m e or e v e n i n g or leave a note i n the Science Editor's pigeon h o l e . R e m e m b e r , the L a b Book is m ightie r t h a n the s w o r d .

February 17 1989

U p a n d D o w n quarks like to congregate in threes as described. A large d r o p of U p a n d D o w n quarks w o u l d n o r m a l l y be unstable. If t h o u g h some Strange quarks are added then the d r o p becomes more stable. A couple of years ago it was suggested that drops with masses of more than a few protons, made u p of equal numbers of U p , D o w n a n d Strange quarks, c ould be totally stable. The droplet w o u l d appear to

be a large atomic nucleus, except that whereas atomic nuclei become more unstable the larger they g r o w (so heavy elements like u r a n i u m are radioactive because their oversize nuclei fall to bits), strange matter drops are stable no matter h o w b i g they become. Because a l u m p of strange matter behaves like a giant atomic nucleus, it is very, very dense. A l u m p the mass of the s u n w o u l d be only a few miles across.

become, u n t i l soon it w o u l d repel ordinary atomic n u c l e i p u s h i n g it aside. If a strange matter d r o p w a s b e i n g u s e d as a p o w e r source, it w o u l d have to have its positive charge periodically reduced otherwise it w o u l d develop the subatomic equivalent of constipation.

Fair e n o u g h , but w h e r e d o y o u get y o u r strange matter? A t t e m p t s to l o o k f o r naturally o c c u r r i n g droplets have been unsuccessful, but a n O x f o r d physicist, R i c h a r d S t r a n g e m atte r h a s a n o t h e r Dalitz, together with other i n t r i g u i n g property t h o u g h . It eats physicists f r o m California university n o r m a l matter. Protons are easily at Irvine, think s that it s h o u l d be absorbed, but absorbing a n e u t r o n possible to use t h e particle releases i m m e n s e quantities of accelerates at C E R N i n G e n e v a to energy) effectively what y o u w o u l d produce tiny droplets of strange get by converting the neutron totally matter. These w o u l d be passed to energy(E = m c strikes again). through tanks of l i q u i d h y d r o g e n Since over 50% of ordinary matter (which contain large n u m be r s of is m a d e u p of neutrons, if y o u feed protons) to g r o w t h e m to a stable some to strange matter then over mass (several t h o u s a n d times that half of it will be converted to energy. of a proton). T h e strange matter A t this rate about tenkilos of d r o p resulting f r o m this w o u l d be ordinary matter (of any sort!) w o u l d provide as m u c h energy as the h e l d i n a containment field a n d slowly fed matter to absorb. A s it typical nuclear plant does i n a year. d i d so it w o u l d release intense If strange matter is so dense, h o w g a m m a radiation w h i c h w o u l d be do y o u h o l d o n to it? Fortunately absorbed by shielding, heating it u p this p r o b l e m is easily s o l v e d . in the process. Free heat, a n d free Strange matter eats both protons energy. and neutrons, but w h i l s t neutrons are neutral, protons are positively If strange matter really can exist, c h a r g e d . H e n c e after e a t i n g and if it c a n be made i n the ordinary matter, a d r o p of strange laboratory, w e m a y yet see the l o n g matter becomes positively charged awaited free l u n c h of truly cheap and can be h e l d i n place b y a n energy. Strange, but true. electric field. This also explains w h y a l u m p of strange m a tte r , i f d r o p p e d , w o u l d not d e v o u r the whole Earth. The more it absorbed, the more positively charged it w o u l d

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l organisations, market y o u r ideas, a n d then make t h e m h a p p e n .

l g • the creation of a f u n d to sponsor Ever wanted to w o r k somewhere i n s t u d e n t s projects ( i r r e s p e c t i v e S o u t h East A s i a , A m e r i c a or maybe w h e t h e r they have a n y t h i n g to do e v e n b e h i n d the Iron Curtain? Ever w i t h A I E S E C or not). been b u m m i n g a r o u n d Europe, night time, no place to stay? Does W e can d o this because A I E S E C : your College give y o u • enjoys immense support through claustrophobia? Y o u need a change. sponsorship a n d advice f r o m the Does all the theory give y o u mental business a n d academic community, constipation? Y o u need t o get at both national and international something tangible going, y o u want levels. to f i n d out more about the business • can rely o n a n extensive w o r l d , maybe even meet the people international network of offices a n d that might give y o u a job w h e n y o u committees. graduate? D o y o u have some g o o d • has m o t i v a t e d a n d c r e a t i v e ideas, but no cash and connections? members.

Last term, a n e w branch of A I E S E C A I E S E C is a direct outcome of was f o u n d e d . O r i g i n a t i n g f r o m the students trying to resolve these M e c h E n g Department, we are n o w k i n d s of questions. I n the official trying to involve students f r o m all l i n g o , it's 'the w o r l d ' s largest n o n other departments. M o s t 1st years political, non-profit making, entirely w i l l have by n o w been subjected to student r u n organisation'. A I E S E C our rousing recruitment was started back i n 1949 by a group presentations. Response has been of students f r o m seven countries, varied. W i t h g o o d feedback f r o m a n d is n o w represented w o r l d w i d e most departments, people have i n 67 countries, b y about 50,000 managed to see the potential uses student members. A I E S E C is a of A I E S E C . But some departments French s y n o n y m w h i c h stands for certainly surpassed Imperials' 'International Society of Economics reputation of a staid campus. Faced Students'—but h a s been so b y stiff competition f r o m the C i v successful that it n o w embraces E n g Department, the miners students f r o m virtually all areas. h o w e v e r managed to w i n our 'Too fat f o r sex' award for absolute A I E S E C has t w o aims apathy. W h o s e dey?

• To increase international u n d e r s t a n d i n g a n d cooperation.

• To bridge the g a p between universities and the 'real w o r l d ' .

Branches are free to m o v e inside these guidelines, a n d at Imperial w e ' r e h o p i n g to d e v e l o p t h e undergraduate b o d y b y : • g i v i n g students th e chance to expose themselves to companies a n d the 'real w o r l d ' .

• give students the possibility to have an experience overseas.

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O n e of th e p r o b l e m s w h i c h confront a lot of people w h e n they come into contact w i t h A I E S E C is that A I E S E C requires them to think i n d e p e n d e n t l y , to have ideas— A I E S E C ' o n l y ' provides the contacts and support for concepts.

Entrepreneurial spirit is a prerequisite if y o u w a n t to get the most out of A I E S E C , a n d not just occasionally participate o n events.

For example, y o u have to be able to go o u t to c o m p a n i e s a n d

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Some examples, i n varied stages of completion, of things we're working on: • a study tour of M a l t a . (Malta also h a p p e n s to have the highest concentration of discos i n E u r o p e , beaches aren't b a d either).

O r g a n i s e d jointly w i t h an A I E S E C c o m m i t t e e i n m a l t a , w h i c h is h e l p i n g to keep the costs to about a third normal tourists pay.

• A t w i n n i n g event i n A m s t e r d a m , sponsored by Shell a n d w i t h the help of a number of committees d o w n there. Tour of Shell facilities included.

A tribute to the late Salvador Dali • a series of business games i n L o n d o n , w i t h university teams competing against each other.

• raise jobs for the internataional exchange scheme (find out what that is...)

• the above m e n t i o n e d f u n d

• a s h a d o w i n g scheme, whereby y o u stick to a managers back for a p e r i o d of time. F i n d out whether it r e a l l y is that c o o l b e i n g a n accountant...

In the next couple of weeks w e ' l l be sending a couple of people overseas to a n international conference i n B e l g i u m (all expenses paid),

W e w o r k i n small groups, w i t h one p e r s o n u s u a l l y there to coordinate things. Presently th e teams are.

Marketing Public Relations Finance Training Projects If y o u are interested, get i n touch w i t h u s n o w . Contact K o n r a d Pagenstert (Mech E n g U G ) or D i r k Andel (Civ E n g U G ) , or, alternatively, come to our meetings every Tuesday i n the M e c h E n g Department, level 7, r o o m 748 at 12.45pm D e r e k

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participating o n a series of seminars and events organised i n conjunction with L S E , U C L , City and Kings universities, a n d holding an A I E S E C week here at Imperial College. A n d that's a selection of w h a t ' s available.

A I E S E C has a lot to offer. It can p r o v i d e y o u w i t h practical insights into the business w o r l d , p r o v i d e training opportunities to test y o u r skills. Whether y o u w a n t b r o w n i e points b y exposing yourself to companies, w o r k overseas, need contacts outside E n g l a n d or are bored a n d w a n t to get off the g r o u n d , o r just w a n t to d o something n e w . F i n d out h o w to make A I E S E C w o r k for y o u .

FELIX

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February 17 1989

Û ÜÝ Þ L ÙÚÚ

t a n d a strike from N i g e l Collier.

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RSM-0 I C II—2 After three defeats, IC desperately needed a w i n to keep sight of the league title. In a t r a d i t i o n a l l y physical game R S M opened well, at least for the first ten minutes, I C then began to p l a y , w i t h debutant John West controlling the mid-field, Julian F o r d h a m ' s penetrating runs a n d the ever tricky A d a m Thomas h e l p e d IC gain control a n d before l o n g M i c k e y P l u m m e r scored h i s fourth goal f r o m 25 yards, i n three games to give IC the breakthrough.

1-0 it was at half-time, a n d captain Jezz H o l l a n d , p l a y i n g i n b o r r o w e d boots, was as h a p p y as pie. But as the saying goes, it's not all over until the fat lady sings, a n d S i m o n H o l d e n h a d barely cleared h i s throat! M i n e s started the second half w e l l , but just lacked the ideas as Ivan Parkin and Bill Leonard cleared u p at the back. IC o n the attack again, a n d G a r y M a h o n e y came close before John West p l a y e d a beautiful t h r o u g h ball to Rakesh M u t h o o , w h o c a l m l y slotted ho me from 10 yards. After that it was plain sailing for IC, with Mines causing no problems for R u s s D a r k of Jezz at the back. A special m e n t i o n s h o u l d go to S i m o n D a y , w h o refereed a tough game very well, despite what m ay have been said o n the pitch!

Û ÜÝ Þ ÙÚÚ L

g

Coach Bill M a s o n marked the club's success by declaring that all the crews w o u l d have extra h a r d outings o n S u n d a y m o r n i n g , to make sure that everybody wins next time.

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February 17 1989

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Last S u n d a y the O r i e n t e e r i n g C l u b went to its first major event of the year; h e l d i n Surrey, just south of T h e fifth race of the L o n d o n G u i l d f o r d . T h e competition area Colleges League, held at R i c h m o n d was an intricate a n d beautiful pine Park, w a s organised b y the IC forest a n d heathland, definitely the Cross-Country Club.

The best area the club has been to for unseasonal weather h a d given rise several m o n t h s . The weather was I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e VI—5 to an extremely dry course, w h i c h m i l d a n d s u n n y w h i c h made for almost made it into a road race, C X W M III—4 except for the first mile w h i c h was In a high scoring contest, IC V I i d e a l o r i e n t e e r i n g c o n d i t i o n s .

Despite the l o n g a n d tough courses r u n o n horse track. In fact, the start never looked i n danger of losing all the I C competitors achieved fast their grip a n d ran out comfortable was the most demanding part of the times, a n d the prospects for this race, as everyone scrambled for w i n n e r s to extend their unbeaten season are l o o k i n g g o o d . T h e position o n the strength-sapping run. surface. The course came onto grass O n a small pitch it w a s not journey ho me was memorable a n d we d i d n ' t get lost! after about a mile, a n d alternated surprising that the goals started Ý áâ flying i n well before half time. IC got between grass a n d ' r o a d ' for the à the better of these early exchanges remainder. thanks to some fine goals by N i g e l Sale, S i m o n Barrye a n d B y r o n W o o d to lead 3-2 at half-time. In a hectic a n d w i l d second half IC clinched the contest w h e n Ian Charlton a n d S i m o n Barrye scored.

O n Saturday February 4, Sheffield A n d y Draine, John M c K n i g h t a n d U n i v e r s i t y hosted a n inter-varsity some others were rather fortunate competition at w h i c h the Imperial to finish the game w i t h o u t entering College contingent of A , B a n d C the referee's book as some of their teams were but three a m o n g the protests to what were admittedly m a n y attending f r o m all over the some incredulous decisions, were country. T h e event was a really not exactly fit for p r i m e time tremendous occasion and was made viewing. all the more special by a spectacular

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r London Hospital—1 I C lsts—4 IC stormed back to the top of the Premier Division with an impressive d e m o l i t i o n of bottom side L o n d o n Hospital.

E a g e r t o i m p r e s s after t w o successive defeats, IC attacked with v i g o u r f r o m the offset, creating n u m e r o u s chances b u t failing to convert a n y of t h e m . L o n d o n H o s p i t a l then h a d the audacity to take the led o n their first real attack; a free kick o n the left f o u n d a n u n m a r k e d m a n a n d his speculative header s o m e h o w l o o p e d over the embarrassed keeper.

IC were still b e h i n d going into the second half but they kept pressing f o r w a r d , l o o k i n g for w a y s to break d o w n the packed defence. T h e inevitable equaliser came after ten minutes of the second half from P i p Peel w h o made himself some space in the area to fire ho me superbly.

F r o m then o n there was o n l y g o i n g to be one winner as Mick Plummer's searing r u n s d o w n the right flank tore their defence apart. P i p Peel soon a d d e d another a n d a fine w i n was r o u n d e d off w i t h an o w n goal

Û ÜÝ Þ ÙÚÚ L

ORIENTEERING

n Last Saturday's H e n l e y Fours H e a d was d o m i n a t e d b y the Imperial College Boat C l u b . Imperial C r e w s w o n five of the seven categories that they entered.

The team has been struck by an In the first major race of the year, injury crisis; knee, calf, back, groin the Lady novices pic ke d u p their a n d achilles strains have w e a k e n e d first pots, after o n l y four months of our squad. Frank D u d b r i d g e h a d r o w i n g . The mens novices also put h o p e d for another top ten placing, i n a n i m p r e s s i v e performance, but o n the day suffered a loss of coming i n over 40 seconds a h e ; d of form, a n d d r o p p e d back to finish their nearest rivals. The senior 2 33rd. O u r next m a n w a s Dave coxless, senior 1 coxless a n d o p e n K n i g h t (37th), w h o caught Frank coxed crews all w o n their categories after three miles b u t w a s too easily, despite cold and very w i n d y k n a c k e r e d to take a d v a n t a g e , conditions. The open coxed for also followed to placed behind by Stefan w o n the overall competition w i t h L e d i n , breaking 40 for the first time. the fastest time of the day.

Matt L y n a s , r u n n i n g w i t h a back The senior 3 crews were a l l injury sustained while orienteering, u n l u c k y not to d o better i n their came in 46th. O u r other t w o scorers events. The second men's four a n d were Pete S m i t h (74th) and R a m i n the l a d i e s f o u r b o t h s u f f e r e d ' D i l ' (94th). Despite a below-par unfortunate clashes with other boats race, the team still made fifth place a n d river banks. T h e first senior 3 to confirm its league position. Frank four vame i n well ahead of most of has m o v e d u p to fourth i n the the other crews i n their category but i n d i v i d u a l s (in the first division). were beaten into second place by an There is one race left i n the series, experienced crew from the a 10km road race i n Battersea Park.

University of L o n d o n boat club.

FELIX

demonstration by the W o r l d Professional Ten-Dance champions, Marcus and Karen Hilton.

Competitively, the three teams h a d a very successful evening; the B team stormed h o m e to sweep away the B team trophy a n d the A a n d C teams were second o n l y to the o l d rivals C a m b r i d g e reflecting the outstanding achievements of so m a n y of o u r couples. IC h a d semifinalists i n all dances w i t h the f o l l o w i n g positions i n the final: Q Step: James Barton a n d G i l l Barrett-lst C h a : Sharad S a m m a y a n d A l i c e Jacques—2 N e i l M c C l u s k y a n d L i l l y Saw—3rd Jive: Steven Mercer a n d N i c o l a Stanmore—1st Alex Kurniawan a n d Thinuk Basu—2nd O p e n Tango: James Barren a n d G i l l Barrlett-4th O p e n R h u m b a : Steven M e r c e r a n d N i c o l a Stanmore—2nd Cha/Waltz: Peter Brent and Rebecca Bailey-4th Special congratulations to T h i n u k a n d A l e x for a fantastic result i n their first competition a n d m a n y thanks to all those w h o t u r n e d u p to offer s u c h w e l l appreciated support.

Finally, a big thanks to our coach V i k k i C u n n i f r e w h o , as ever, has made us what w e are.

Page 13

s What's O n A guide to events i n a n d a r o u n d IC. FRIDAY Consoc Meeting 12.30pm ME569.

Friday Jamaa Prayer 1.00pm Southside G y m .

Christian Union Meeting 5.30pm 308 H u x l e y . T i m e for prayer, w o r s h i p a n d discussion.

Poetry Readings 6.30pm U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n School of O r i e n t a l a n d A f r i c a n Studies .Room G57.

Fencing Club 11.30pm U n i o n G y m . M e e t i n g also at 6 o'clock.

Basketball Club 5.30pm Volleyball Court (behind Chemistry). A l l Welcome.

Improvers Ballroom 6.00pm JCR. 80p.

Beginners Rock 'n' Roll 6.45pm U D H . 80p.

Advanced Ballroom 7.00pm JCR. 80p.

Karate 7.00pm Southside G y m . Beginners welcome. B u i l d y o u r fitness a n d confidence.

Latin American Dance Class 8.00pm U D H . C h a , Samba, R u m b a , etc.

80p

TUESDAY

Spenser Lane.

Qur'an, tradition of Prophet 1.30pm 9 Prince's G a r d e n s .

Amnesty Meeting 5.30pn B r o w n Committee R o o m (top floor U n i o n B u i l d i n g ) .

Meditative Prayer 5.45pm C h a p l a i n ' s Office, 10 Prince's G a r d e n s . C o m e a n d join us for some peace a n d quiet. See West London Chaplaincy.

Beginners Ballroom 6.00pm JCR. 80p. A l l welcome.

Judo 6.30pm U n i o n G y m . A l l grades.

Beginners welcome.

Latin-American Film 7.00pm M e c h E n g 220. 'The Entertaining A n g e l ' . Members 50p, others £1.50. See Latin A m e r i c a n Society.

SATURDAY Trip to Boulogne F r o m Bernard S u n l e y H o u s e . £12. E x - B S H members (and everybody else) especially welcome.

Karate 10.00am Southside G y m . Beginners w e l c o m e . B u i l d y o u r fitness a n d confidence.

IC Kung Fu 4.30pm Southside G y m . Beginners always w e l c o m e .

THURSDAY

SUNDAY Holy Communion Service 10.00am Sherfield B u i l d i n g . F o l l o w e d by a w o r k s h o p o n Spirituality.

Sunday Mass 11.00am West L o n d o n Catholic C h a p l a i n c y , M o r e H o u s e , 53 C r o m w e l l R o a d . A l s o at 6 p m (followed b y bar supper). A l l welcome.

Wargames 1.00pm Senior C o m m o n R o o m . A l l Welcome.

Kung Fu 4.30pm U n i o n G y m . Beginners welcome.

R C S U Night in the Bar 7.00pm Union Bar. Speaker Meeting 8.00pm M o r e H o u s e , 53 C r o m w e l l R o a d .

See West L o n d o n C h a p l a i n c y .

MONDAY Prayer Group 8.30am K i n g ' s College. See West L o n d o n Chaplaincy Rock Soc Meeting 12.30pm Southside U p p e r L o u n g e .

A n y o n e interested i n any f o r m of rock music come along.

Artsoc Meeting 12.30pm U n i o n S C R . S i g n u p for s h o w s .

Membership £2.

Yacht Club Meeting 12.30pm Upstairs i n Southside.

Recitation of Holy Qur'an 1.30pm 9 Prince's G a r d e n s (Basement).

Page 14

Exploration a n d D e v e l o p m e n t of Space. D r B o b P a r k i n s o n talks o n 'The N e x t T w e n t y Years i n Space'.

Intermediate Rock 'n' Roll Class 2.15pm U D H . 80p.

Film 2.30pm R e a d Lecture Theatre, L e v e l 5, Sherfield B u i l d i n g . 'Paracelsus' presented b y the H i s t o r y of Science a n d Technology G r o u p .

Jazz Dance Class 3.15pm U D H . 80p.

Karate 3.30pm Southside G y m . Beginners welcome. B u i l d your fitness a n d confidence.

4.30pm Open Circle Study '-) Prince's G a r d e n s . See Islamic Soc. 7.30pm Kung Fu U n i o n G y m . Grandmaster C K C h a n g ' s class.

Basic C h r i s t i a n i t y 6.30pm Senior C o m m o n R o o m , 7th Floor.

A meeting held by U n i v e r s i t y Christian Outreach e x a m i n i n g the life a n d claims of Jesus.

308 H u x l e y . For those w h o think prayer is more important than sleep. Free.

Prayer Group 8.30am M o r e H o u s e , 53 C r o m w e l l R o a d .

See West L o n d o n C h a p l a i n c y .

Workshop 12.30pm M e c h E n g 702. See West L o n d o n Chaplaincy.

Remote Controlled Modelling Club 12.30pm Southside U p p e r .

Sailing Club.:.

12.30pm M e e t i n g i n Southside L o u n g e .

Boardsailing Club 12.30pm Southside L o u n g e .

Audiosoc Meeting 12.30pm U n i o n S C R . C h e a p records a n d tapes etc.

Roman Catholic Mass 12.40pm M e c h E n g 702. M a s s f o l l o w e d b y l u n c h . 50p.

Ski Club Meeting 12.45pm Southside L o u n g e . Interested i n learning to ski? A l r e a d y hooked?

W a n t to try racing? C o m e a n d f i n d out more.

3rd World First 2.00pm 4th Floor, E n v Tech, 38 Prince's Gardens.

Beatles Hour 1.00pm For all the best Beatle a n d Beatlerelated material o n C D w i t h

Karate 7.00pm Southside G y m . Beginners welcome. B u i l d y o u r fitness a n d confidence.

Intermediate Ballroom 7.00pm JCR. 80p.

Caving Club Meeting 7.00pm Southside U p p e r L o u n g e .

Everyone interested s h o u l d come along.

Improvers Ballroom 8.00pm JCR. 80p.

Mountaineering Club Meeting 9.00pm Southside U p p e r L o u n g e .

Beginners always welcome.

WEDNESDAY Prayer Meeting 8.30pm M o r e H o u s e . See West L o n d o n Chaplaincy.

Sailing Meeting 12.30pm Outside Southside.

Caving Club Meeting 1.00pm Micro Club Meeting 1.00pm T h i r d Floor, U n i o n B u i l d i n g . If y o u ' r e interested i n computers come along.

Hamsoc Meeting 1.15pm T h i r d Floor of U n i o n B u i l d i n g .

A m a t e u r Radio Society regular weekly meeting.

2.00pm ICSEDS Meeting H u x l e y 144. I C Students for the

FELIX

Morning Prayer 8.30pm M o r e H o u s e . See West L o n d o n Chaplaincy.

Methsoc Speaker Meeting 12.30pm M e c h E n g 703. A l l w e l c o m e .

Free.

Fencing Club 12.30pm U n i o n G y m . M e e t i n g also at 6 o'clock 12.30pm I C Y H A Meeting Southside U p p e r L o u n g e .

Everyone welcome.

Audiosoc Meeting 12.30pm U n i o n S C R . C h e a p records, tapes etc.

Ski Club The S k i C l u b w i l l o n l y meet o n Tuesdays this term.

Speaker Meeting 12.45pm U n i o n L o u n g e . 'Responses to Underdevelopment'.

Debating Society 1.00pm R o o m 341 M a t h s (Huxley).

Arabic Lessons 1.30pm 9 Prince's G a r d e n s . See Islamic Soc. Prayer Meeting 5.30pm C h a p l a i n ' s Office, 10 Prince's G a r d e n s . A l l Christians i n College are welcome to come a n d pray for the w o r k of Christians i n College.

Cricket Nets 5.45pm Meet i n M e c h E n g Foyer. S i g n u p o n cricket noticeboard.

Everyone welcome.

Judo 6.30pm U n i o n G y m . Beginners welcome.

Basketball Club 7.30pm Volleyball C o u r t (behind C h e m i s t r y ) . A l l welcome.

Soup Run 9.15pm M e e t W e e k ' s H a l l Basement (back by 11pm).

February 17 1989

x

n

l

n

n

Rag/Hyde P a r k R e l a y This is tomorrow night in the U n i o n B u i l d i n g w i t h t w o discos, a b a n d , films a n d a bar extension until m i d n i g h t . P e o p l e w i l l n o t be admitted purely to use the bar extension and w i l l be charged entry right u p to the f i n i s h . This goes for the Ents gigs o n Frid ay nights as w e l l . D o n ' t bother t u r n i n g u p half an hour before the e n d , y o u ' l l still pav as m u c h as if y o u ' d seen the b a n d . W h e n the fire capacity has been reached, no new entries will be allowed.

R C A Surcharges Some students complained that the R C A was charging a 25p surcharge on food for n o n - R C A students. 1 have s p o k e n to someone f r o m their Exec w h o said that he w o u l d consult and get back to me. H e appreciated the c o m m e n t that such a surcharge was n o t i n the ' spirit' of o u r reciprocal agreement w i t h t h e m .

Card Check I apologise for any inconvenience

caused during the U n i o n card check over last w e e k e n d . A n u m b e r of people got annoyed about being troubled, particularly those w h o have seen little need for a U n i o n card and opted not to get one. Beit residents have certain grounds for complaint as they were checked before g o i n g into their residences although 1 hope they understand that it was for their security as much as the U n i o n ' s .

I have recently received a letter from the H i l d a M a r t i n d a l e Educational Trust a n n o u n c i n g their exhibitions for vocational training. 'The H i l d a Martindale Educational Trust was established through the generosity of the last M i s s H i l d a M a r t i n d a l e C B E (1875-1952), w i t h the object of h e l p i n g girls a n d w o m e n of the British Isles whose intention it is to fit themselves for some profession or career likely to be of use or value to the c o m m u n i t y , and for w h i c h vocational training is r e q u i r e d . ' E x h i b i t i o n s are n o t n o r m a l l y a w a r d e d to those w h o are eligible for grant-aid f r o m other public sources.

If a n y o n e is i n t e r e s t e d i n applving, please contact me (via the Union Office or M e c h E n g pigeonholes) as soon as possible as application forms must be obtained and returned by M a r c h 1. By the way, applications m u s t be accompanied by a recommendation from the H e a d of Department.

I m p e r i a l College Union's*

Environment Week '89 has been arranged by the Environmental and Appropriate Technology Society to increase awareness about environmental issues. This year the focus is on the politics of the environment, and the week will be opened by our local Green Party Eurocandidate on Monday.

February 17 1989

Gill Knowles, ICU Women's Officer.

t

LECTURES

20-24th

T h e s e a r e a l l i n E l e c E n g 4 0 3 a , a n d start at

12:45pm

e s V a l e n t i n e s . T h a n k y o u to t h e h u n d r e d s of girlies w h o sent me valentines cards this week. Infact we have h a d to e m p l o y a n extra member of staff just to o p e n t h e m .

I a m sorry I can't answer each one i n d i v i d u a l l y but I just want to say I lov y o u a l l .

F E L I X I w i l l be b u r n i n g copies of F E L I X o n the Q u e e n s L a w n this Friday. B r i n g along y o u sausages and beefburgers. There will be a bar extension 'till late.

A u t o g r a p h s Its not l o n g before I ' l l have to h a n d over to m y successor.

Those of y o u still r e q u i r i n g autographs s h o u l d call i n the office on Tuesdays between 1 a n d 2 p m .

Refectory W e have n o w officially decreased the size of portions i n the refectory a n d have increased the prices accordingly.

Thobias D Gruntfuttock President of Cucumber Soc

Februaryâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; FILMS

E v e n i n g s , i n M e c h E n g 2 2 0 . See the

Green Politics

by Nicky Kortvelyessy, Green Party Euro-candidate for Kensington and Chelsea. :

posters for m o r e i n f o .

: Silkwood The true story of Karen Silkwood (Meryl Streep) who discovers a cover up in the nuclear reprocessin : Environmental Issues plant where she works and runs up in Parliament against the ruthlessness of the Sir Hugh Rossi MP (Con), establishment.

Member of the Environmental Admittance: ÂŁ1.00 Select Committee.

: Political Aspects of The Greenhouse Effect Dr. Jerry Leggett, Imperial College Dept of Geology

STALLS

There will be a number of stalls around college, run by the local Green Party, and by the : Government Policy Environmental and Appropriate on Appropriate Technology Technology Society, offering Matt Gamser, books, leaflets, recycled paper, etc.

Intermediate Technology Look out for them at lunchtimes in Development Group. the JCR and Union Snack Bar. FELIX

Page 15

s cont'd from front page Brereton p o i n t e d out that the A U T action may cause difficuties for potential employers. The director of the Careers A d v i s o r y Servic has since w r i t t e n to the A s s o c i a ti on of Graduate Careers A d v i s o r y Services and the A s s o c i a t i o n of Graduate Recruiters asking them to investigate the problems w h i c h the d i s p u t e m a y cause f o r f u t u r e graduates a n d employers.

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The City a n d G u i l d s U n i o n Barbershop-o-grams raised £40 for Rag o n V a l e n t i n e ' s D a y . V i c t i m s i n c l u d e d U n i o n Bar Manager 'Jelly' Johnson a n d pur very o w n F E L I X Editor Bill G o o d w i n .

The M i l k Traying raised about £35 and it seems Bill G o o d w i n has no e n d of secret admirers.

M r Brereton t o l d F E L I X that employers might put pressure o n the C V C P a n d the A U T to b r i n g about a solution to the dispute.

e e

t d Nathanael Johansen-Allison, one of two candidates standing for the post of R o y a l College of Science U n i o n P r e s i d e n t , w a s d i s q u a l i f i e d at Thursday's Hustings U G M for breaking publicity rules. T h e remaining candidate, Carol L us c o m be was u n o p p o s e d and was subsequently ratified as President-elect.

M r Johansen-AUison used defaced copies of M s Luscombe's posters as part of his c a m p a i g n . H e also failed to provide a photo and manifesto for the election edition of the R C S U magazine Broadsheet. H e claims that he was not t o l d that the posters until broke election rules W e d n e s d a y e v e n i n g w h e n he was able to f i n d a c o p y of the publicity rules. H e also claims that he was not i n f o r m e d of t h e m a g a z i n e ' s publication.

Tuesday lunchtime saw beleaguered G u i l d s Vice President M a x Kallios setting u p a 'Ravioli Eating C o m p e t i t i o n ' i n Beit Q u a d . T h e competition, w h i c h raised money f o r R a g , c o n s i s t e d of s e v e n contestants t r y i n g to consume as

m u c h R a v i o l i as possible. T h e w i n n e r was P h i l H o u d e r ( D o C 3) who managed to get through 21bs of the stuff in six minutes. The general feeling of the afternoon towards this culinary event was reported to be ' g o o d sauce, lousy pasta'.

c

Jewish Society posters were f o u n d burnt a n d a n u m b e r of nearby posters were grafitied w i t h anti Jewish slogans o n Friday. T h e slogans i n c l u d e d the phrase 'save the l a n d of the Jesus a n d M o h a m m e d and f*ck the Jews'. The incident has 'deeply upset' members of Imperial College Jewish Society.

A n A 2 size poster, m a r k e d w i t h the caption ' G o d bless Palestine' was also f o u n d o n the scene. The T he R C S U R e t u r n i n g Officer poster, headed 'Israeli Butcher', compared Jews w i t h members of the d e e m e d the election b i d i n v a l i d o n W e d n e s d a y a n d a n appeal w a s N a z i party.

C h a i r m a n of Imperial College l o d g e d to be heard at the H u s t i n g s M e e t i n g . M r J o h a n s e n - A l l i s o n d i d Friends of Palestine Society t o l d not speak i n his o w n defence. H e F E L I X that the Society was not later t o l d F E L I X that h e w a s responsible for the incident. 'It is racist and unacceptable' he said. H e unaware that he h a d such speaking rights a n d felt that the w a y h i s c a m p a i g n h a d been treated was typical of the ' m a s o n - l i k e ' attitude of R C S U n i o n .

went o n to suggest that the attack had been caried out i n order to 'discredit' Friends of Palestine.

The U n i o n Executive Committee have mandated' H o n Sec (Events) Ian M o r r i s to write to the Friends of Palestine expressing the U n i o n s concern at the incident. H e also intends to write a similar letter to the Islamic Society.

M r M o r r i s suggested that the attack may have originated f r o m outside of College. H e pointed out that any students w i t h i n College i n v o l v e d i n the incident w o u l d be s ent to C o l l e g e d i s c i p l i n a r y Committee and w o u l d probably face e xpu l s i o n. i t s very difficult to catch this sort of t h i n g . W e cannot p i n it d o w n to a n y o n e , ' he said.

Imperial College w o n all four sports matches against C a m b o r n e School of M i n e s ( C o r n w a l l ) over last w e e k e n d . IC retained their title for hockey, football a n d the bottle match a n d w o n the squash contest for the first time i n five years. N i c k Marchant was awarded the status of 'man of the bottle m a t c h '

d The Mechanical Engineering Department's record breaking candle was lit i n front of the Victoria and Albert Memorial on W e d n e s d a y . A t the same time a t y p h o o n i n India tore the roofs of countless innocent people's homes and blew the candle out from a long distance. There w a s a national h o l i d a y to celebrate the candle's lighting a n d street parties throughout the country proclaimed their joy at the c u l m i n a t i o n of M r Sean C r o f t o n ' s project. M r C r o f t o n said afterwards, 'I felt a bit of a prat w h e n I h a d to admit the p r o b l e m w i t h the calculations as I received m y K n i g h t h o o d , but that's the w a y it goes I guess.'

m

T he R e t u r n i n g Officer claims to have h e l d the election strictly according to the rules a n d that it is not his d u t y to pass these rules o n to the candidates.

President-elect C a r o l L us c o m be later told F E L I X that this was not the way she w a n t e d to w i n the election but that M r . J o h a n s e n - A l l i s o n h a d 'seriously bent' the rules a n d h a d had to be d i s q u a l i f i e d . A t the same meeting, Sarah D i x o n was ratified as t h e n e w H o n o r a r y J u n i o r Treasurer. Elections for the posts of Vice-President, H o n o r a r y Secretary and A c a d e m ic Affairs Officer w i l l be h e l d o n Tuesday 21st February.

A n e w centre for research into Process Simulation, Integration and C o n t r o l w i l l be formed u n d er the of t h e C h e m i c a l auspices E n g i n e e r i n g Department at I C i n 1990. The research contract, w o r t h £42million over 6 years, w a s announced i n the Chemical Engineering Department this week

by Professsor Roger Sargeant, w h o w i l l head the centre. Professor Sargeant is the former head of C h e m i c a l Engineering at IC. The centre w i l l be sufficiently large to be autonomous but the question of w h e t h e r it w i l l be a separate

department is s t i l l under negotiation.

The plans anticipate the b u i l d i n g of a n a d d i t i o n a l floor o n t h e Rodderick H i l l B u i l d i n g , i n the Chemical Enguneering department, w h i c h w o u l d house the 50 P h D students a n d 35 members of staff the centre w o u l d require.

This n e w style of interdisciplinary research centre w i l l comprise three p r e v i o u s l y separate research groups; Systems f r o m C h e m i c a l Engineering, Control from Electrical Engineering and Industrial Systems at U n i v e r s i t y College.

FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publication Board and is printed by the Imperial College Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB (Tel 01-589 5111 ext 3515). Editor: Bill Goodwin. Business Manager: Liz Warren. Advertising Manager: Nick Jones. Copyright FELIX 1988 ISSN 1040-0711.