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IC Union President 'hacked off with student apathy

Educational suicide Students will be deterred from taking up higher education if the Governments Student Loans proposal goes through, according to a survey published by the National Union of Students (NUS) this week. M s Maeve Sherlock, N U S president, pointed out that the scheme was unpopular and would be no cheaper to the Treasury than the present grant system. The report claims that 24% of pupils with semiskilled parents would drop their plans for higher education if the loans were introduced, compared with an overall average of 16% for all 18 year olds. 5.5% of students with semi-skilled parents said that their parents could finance a college education, compared with 22% of the professional groups. The N U S stressed that these results indicate that the Government's scheme would have a strongly deterrent effect on higher education, and a marked class bias. M s Diana Warwick, general secretary of the Association of University Teachers, commented that the loans scheme would be 'making universities more middle class than they already are.' Statistics show that despite that 56% of 18 year olds come from manual or semi-skilled backgrounds only 18% of higher education students come from the same group. The boycotting of banks involved in the loans proposal is going ahead, with the full approval of the NUS. Already 100 students from Loughborough have transferred their accounts to LLoyds bank, who are not involved in the scheme. In addition, thousands of students have written to the colluding banks to warn them that they will withdraw their accounts if the banks continue to co- operate with the government in the matter.

The Union General Meeting ( U G M ) held in the Junior Common Room last Thursday debated a number of motions apertaining to student loans. M r Neil McCluskey I.C. Union president proposed a motion that IC Union should support the governments proposals on student loans and also their proposals to remove students from the welfare benefit system as from this September. He explained that the motion was put forward because he was 'totally hacked-off with the apathy of I.C. students. The motion was overwhelmingly defeated, with the consensus of opinion that the point had been taken. A further motion was passed asking the National Westminster bank to remove their name from their declaration of co-operation with the loans proposal. It also asked the I C U president to implement a scheme to facilitate the switching of bank accounts to another

bank, to inform the college authorities of their opposition and to remove all signs with the word 'NatWest' on them from the campus. A late motion was passed enabling the Publications Board chairman, M r Doug King, to 'look into' the funding of a scheme whereby stickers with the logo 'GnatWest - No Money? No Job? Then Fuck o f f , created by the comic ' V i z ' , could be used to cover up the NatWest advertisement on the back of IC Union cards. The loans will be phased in from next September, and will eventually make up half the maintenance grant. The second reading of the Student loans bill took place last Tuesday. The government has used a one line clause to enable the implementation of the loans, so it is unlikely that it will be amended in any way.

Qualifications Physics department slurred questioned Anxiety in the City and Guilds reached new heights this week after the City and Guild London Institute (C&GLI) announced its intention to award the letters ' A C G I ' (Associate of the City and Guilds Institute) to students not of Imperial College. At the moment only those students who are taking City and Guilds courses in I.C. are eligible to have these letters on graduation, which is comparable to the letters ' A R C S ' (Associate of the Royal College of Science) for those student graduating in courses in the Royal College of Science. Students fear that the uniqueness and value of the qualification will be lost. Professor Patrick Holmes, Dean of the City and Guilds at I . C . expressed worries that there would be no way of knowing if the value of the qualification was the same through the different routes that nonI.C. students would take. He cited the recent report in which I.C.'s Engineering Department was voted the best in Europe, and graduates from this department would apparently have the same qualification as students from elsewhere if the C & G L I ' s proposals go through. He finished by saying ' O f course, there is considerable concern'.

The Physics Department at Imperial College has been under attack in a report in the 'Times Higher Education Supplement' as too unproductive in relation to its size. The paper claims that a recent report by the Science Policy Research Unit (SPRU) shows that bigger departments do not necessarily produce more results, and the IC Physics Department is the biggest in the country. The report claims that the size of the department is no index of its productivity, though the S P R U admits that they asessed 'productivity' only as the number of research papers published by members of that department, and is not concerned with teaching or any other factors. Professor J.B. Pendry, Associate head of the Physics Department, countered by saying T disagree with it of course ... it's quality that counts; our claim to being a good department is not that we are the largest.... its the quality of people we have'. He stressed that though it was important to write papers, the report probably did not weight papers according to their importance. He claimed that his department was amongst the best; 'Our productivity is high. we dont need to be the highest'. He added that Oxford University's Physics Department was the largest in the country, not Imperial College's, and that his department has both experimental and theoretical physicists. Theorists tend to publish more papers -

but this does not mean that they are more 'productive'. Dr B . L . Morgan, Associate director of planning commented that S P R U figures are always controversial, and that their aspersions were 'not true on a number of levels'. He cited the Sunday Times employer's poll in which IC Physics Department, came out as being popular with employers looking for graduates.

Healing old wounds Dr • Charles Phelps, Pro-rector of International Relations at Imperial College, was one of a number of representatives from the first British business mission to Argentina for seven years. The mission was arranged by the 'Latin American Trade Advisory Group' under the auspices of the Department of Trade and Industry and the Foreign Office. It was completed earlier this month and it is hoped that trade links between the two countries will become stronger. Page 3

Guilds can fetish

Fly me to the moon

The City and Guilds Union ( C & G U ) are continuing their aluminium and steel can recovery service. They have collection points (green rubbish bins with cansized holes in the lid) in the Guilds office, Tizard hall and the Junior Common Room (JCR). They hope to be able to keep up a regular supply so that outside recycling firms can make regular collections. A spokesperson from the union explained that the aluminium variety would be sent to Blue Peter, and the steel ones would go towards rag. If anyone would like to set up another collection point, the C & G U would like to get in contact with them.

Oriental oddities Imperial College's Humanities department is to open an introductory course in Japanese, starting in the new year. As places will be limited, the department ask all those interested to contact M r David Cairncross (Int. 7022) of the Japan-Europe Industry Research Centre in Mech Eng 323, or the Humanities office (Int 7051), Mech Eng 313C as soon as possible.

In the choosing of the British cosmonaut to take part in the USSR's much publicised 'Juno' mission, Imperial College's Dr P.Q. Collins managed to reach the stage where six were left, out of the original 4000 applicants. Dr Collins said that his near success in the mission was probably because his area of research was in the space industry and that he could speak some Russian. 'Basically I'm well qualified', he said. He added that the personality tests came to the conclusion that he was a 'stable extrovert with below average tough-mindedness and emotionality' and apparently good at abstract and mechanical reasoning. He said the fact that he was fit was helpful too.

He said he realised the mission was more of a public relations exercise he added ' N A S A ' s greatest success has been to make space boring - Juno has made it interesting'. He saw no reason why cosmonauts shuoldn't be the target of high-finance advertising any more than Boris Becker is. He went on to say that a 'Juno Mission Control Centre' may be built in the near future next to the entrance to Mechanical Engineering on Exhibition road. This will contain displays which should interest those coming to see the Science Museum, where there will be a notice directing tourists to the 'Mission Control'.

UGM Sketch

The worms that turn

The riproarmg, action packed, fun-filled frolicking Union General Meeting ( U G M ) last Thursday made M r Paul Shanley the new U G M chairman. This confirms that he is well on the way towards winning the 'Howgate - Harbourbridge Megaprize for Unashamed Self-Publicity 1989'(HHMUSP). There were more important matters, generally revolving around that hardy perennial of student matters, money. Our beloved Union President, Neil McCluskey, is going to expound and explain rents in the next Alternative Prospectus, with the expectation that recruitment for the year who read it will plummet below the 20% drop that occured this year. This will display the truth in the old addage that crime doesnt pay - the truth will surely turn the University of London into a fusty old corporation entirely devoted to milking Alumni to fund obscure research projects, removing the minor irritant of students altogether.

The great and good Big Mac also said that students living in college accomodation cannot expect a fall in their rent when the poll tax (occasionally known as the 'Community Charge') is introduced. This is obviously because it would be sensible and ethical to do so. Unlike most establishments, Imperial doesn't pay rates, so cannot deduct rates from the rent. This makes sense; though why rents in College accomodation are so exorbitant even when rates are not passed onto the tenants can only be explained with a lot of arm waving and unintelligible statistics. The Harlington Gravel saga continued with the announcement that the proceeds of converting a nice green rugby pitch into a life- like representation of the surface of the moon would probably be about ÂŁ1.6 Page 4

million. It was not said that this was because MetroGoldwyn-Mayer had bought it to film a remake of Jules Verne's 'From the Earth to the M o o n ' . Next year's president, M r Paul Shanley, H H M U S P , forwarded a motion in which all I C U policy that is more than three years old should be abandoned, and motions that need to live any longer should be rescucitated at three year intervals at U G M s in the normal way. The great and good I C U president was instructed to list all the motions that would be executed in this way. As the resulting list would make even a hardened Nazi jew-killer feel faint due to its length, the Big Mac consented on the condition he wouldn't have to do it. Which seems rather strange really.

independence to the N U S . That the paper ballot failed was not particularly surprising, as it had already been said that it was virtually impossible to obtain a twothirds majority at a U G M . Ours is not to reason why. Jolly old loans, that whoopy-do initiative from our wise and beloved overlords, caused a number of motions. The most unusual was probably the one in which Neil McCluskey appeared to throw in the towel, along with the Felix editor, Dave Smedley. There were piteous cries and tearing of hair amongst the assembled children, which apparently were piteous enough to melt their stony resolve, and amidst jubilation and reconciliation the two custodians of our bank balances admitted that they had only done because they were sulking.

A vote was taken to decide whether a paper ballot should be held on the subject whether there should be a two-thirds majority of voting students acceeding to affiliation to the N U S before affiliation becomes a bye-law as a two-thirds majority is needed for disaffiliation and as a two-thirds majority is virtually impossible to obtain at a U G M this would make it impossible to join the N U S , or to leave it if already joined. Or something like that. The paper ballot failed to give the two-thirds majority needed to allow to make the change to the union bye-law so that the vote on affiliation needed a two-thirds majority to be passed. The idea behind these extraordinary contortions is that if the bye-law was changed (so a two-thirds majority is needed to join the N U S , not the simple 51 % as presently needed) it would become much more difficult to join the NUS. As it now stands, at the next vote for N U S affiliation, it only takes 51 % of voters to hand over IC Union's cherished

A n attack of righteous indignation fuelled the motion in which all icons to the pagan god 'Natwest', the son of Mammon according to ancient mythology, were to be removed from the temple. This was prophesied by the scriptures in which it said 'and so it shall come to pass that the Guardians of Pelf, Natwest and all his brothers will be consumed by their parent Mammon. A n d the scurrying masses of students will call on their champion Nemesis to calm their teeth-grinding indignation. A n d Nemesis will have no bloody effect at all so the scurrying masses who are held in thrall to Natwest and his brothers will run away to other countries'. A close second to Paul Shanley in the self-publicity stakes, Doug King, thought it would be a jolly good idea to cover up the adverts for the unmentionable bank on the back of our Union cards with a ' V i z ' sticker. I am so stunned by the scale and grandeur of this silliness I cannot satirise it further.

With a student loan, all manner of ingenious economies can be had. FELIX presents a Scratch 'n' Lick Christmas dinner as advised by Ms Edwina Chillie. Simply cut out the food and lick your way to satisfaction, without the bloated feeling.

Christmas on a loan . Such a constant reminder of those we know and love at Christmas.

. I find water an excellent source of minerals and extra Government revenue. Drink it while you can still afford it.

. Our artist objects to the battery farming of poultry and, what's more, he can't draw Turkeys.

. Look, that is enough digging up of past ministers.

s

No comment.

s Proof positive that we can have the cake without you eating it. Edwina Page 5

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The Dream Team

The cook, the thief, his wife & her lover Superficially this film can be seen as a simple tale of love, lust and revenge: The Cook heads a high-flying restaurant, 'Le Hollandais' famous for its innovative cuisine. It is taken over by gangland boss, The Thief, whose spouse, His Wife, falls in lust with a reclusive intellecutal, Her Lover. Lust leads to love, and from love to jealousy, to revenge and counter-revenge. From another viewpoint it could be seen as a clash of cultures, Philistine vs Athenian. One typified by the vulgar Englishman who aspires after style and class, but who cannot possess either. The other by the French cook, for whom desire is the source of life. Hunger and lust are the foundation of all that is beautiful and glorious. But The Thief is blind to this world of sensual pleasure, and he despises the base impulses which ensnare him. To one the delights of sex resemble those of eating, to the other they are more like shitting.

Take four inmates of a mental hospital. Abandon them in the city. Put their doctor in hospital with two bent cops attempting to kill him. You've got the Dream Team. Putting an out-of-place person/group in a city and 'see how they cope' is a theme that has been used in many movies, from Crocodile Dundee to Star Trek IV. In this case, it works particularly well. Each of the four 'lunatics' is well defined, the characters enhanced by some delightful acting. Michael Batman Keaton as Caulfield, uncontrollably violent author and Christoper Lloyd as Sikorsky, who's not sure what side of the Doctor/Patient relationship he is on, to a certain degree carry the film, but the supporting acting is well above average. The plot is a bit wooly, but then that's not what the film is about. Instead, watch the relationship between

the inmates change, as they come to terms with their own, and their companions' problems, and start the long climb back to sanity. There is also a liberal sprinkling of humour and action throughout the film, but it always seems perfectly natural. The one worry that this film does provoke in me though, is that much of the time we are being encouraged to laugh at people with a serious mental disability. This is partially off-set by the sympathy with which they are treated the rest of the time, and some moralising about the use of drugs in psychiatric treatment, and the establishment's attitude to sufferers trying to reintegrate themselves into society. Overall, a good comedy, well worth seeing, and certainly the best thing Keaton's done so far.

However the strength of this film does not lie either in the story or any particular moral that one might like to draw from it, but rather in the way that it is told. Greenaway, who both wrote and directed, masterfully exploits his medium, perhaps even surpassing it, he stimulates all five senses, rather than the mere two which fate has allowed him. The smells of the food (and other things) seem to pervade the film. His theatrical use of colour is also important. Each setting is characterised by a tint, whose change often signals a transition of mood in the characters. The acting is also of a very high standard, Michael Gambon, and Helen Mirren as Thief and Wife, are particularly notable. It is pleasant to see a beautifully sensual role going to a more mature actress than perhaps Hollywood would have considered. She is certainly no disappointment. Costumes by Jean-Paul Gaultier and music by Michael Nyman, add the final touches to this already beautiful work. The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover is a sensual extravaganza. I should however point out that it does contain some rather gory moments that some people might find disturbing. But with that aside, I can thoroughly recommend it. Its images will remain with you for years.

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How to analyse handwriting My first reaction on seeing this book and reading the There are some summary tables through the book first few pages was that it seemed very simplistic, allowing a hasty analysis of a sample, although it is much more so than any other book of this type I have best not to do it to friends or family for not only do read before. Having done a little graphology before, you think you know them too well but also any bad I expected quite a detailed book such that anyone with signs in the sample will make you feel awkward as the time and patience could perform a detailed to whether or not to tell them. analysis of a sample of handwriting. Instead the book Unusually for a book on this subject she does is very basic, concentrating on the letters ' i ' , 't' and include a couple of chapters of doodles and in the personal pronoun T with a passing mention to the particular trees. This is a novel and interesting idea, style spacing size and pressure of the sample. and is perhaps one of the book's better parts. It does Once you begin to use the book the simplistic nature seem strange, almost contrived that the roots of the of the contents reveal themselves by the fact that tree mean the past, and conversely the foliage the very few personality traits are revealed except the all present. This, along with other obvious points (such important SEX characteristics. A whole chapter is as fast, hurried writing means a fast active given over to sexuality and lust, perhaps this shows personality) often lead to scepticism. her priorities? Finally, there are the chapters that are devoted to

self glorification, 'oh look what famous people I have met', with character analysis that anyone in the street could make from the way the people act and talk. After saying this, as a general introduction into a subject that you must take seriously it is quite good in places (afterall many employees use graphology with other methods for interview pre-selection). It is a bit expensive and, at only one 150 pages, not particularly good value for money. If you feel that you would like to find out more about an interesting subject then try the library first and later on if you want to, find a good book and perhaps start climbing the ladder of Wl meetings to the heady heights that Ms O'Hara has.

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The Rose Glad Rag Dolls and the

pq stuvswu „… yz{ € e r ) is a x | }~ d ‚~ƒ g compan† „  ÂŒÂ„ ÂŒ „… „ €€  ÂŠÂ‹ Â… Â? ‡~ ‚‚ d ˆ o ‰ ~ g Â?ÂŽe }Â? ‚Â? ‚ c in ‚  Â?‚ ƒ  Â‰. ‘’“”• ‹ –ƒ „ ˜ ™š š›œ pq Â? Â† ~ ‡‚ ~n of an — — — n of Â?‡ Â? ‰s The Â&#x; Â? Œ„Â?q –  ÂƒÂ‚. Rose and the Ring ž s a ‚† – ÂŒ „ † Šª ÂĄ ˜¢£¤¼Â›΢ Bes d as an Â? ƒ ‚ }Â? §¨ ÂŤ The Rose and „ ­Â„ °  Â…   the Ring ‡ ‚ s on ‚ o €Â? Â…Â? † kingdomsÂŽ ÂŻ ¹²e „ ÂŒ Â? q Âł ¡ ¸šº q  ³ ÂŹ ‚ o l kingsŽ´Â? ~ ~ o and PadellaÂľ Â? e Âś Âś d ‚ e q q „ „­q ‚ ~Â… s } ~m ‚  Â‚} ƒl ~ÂŹÂ… Â?ÂŽ Giglio and Rosalba. – Â? „ ƒ ÂŹ „ ƒ Â… ÂŒ RosalbaÂť a ‚ ‚ ‚e Â? }ÂŽ ‚ s Âźp a‚ ´Â? ~ ~Â?~‰s ‡~ƒ ‚ q €  Â€ „ ÂŒ Â? d ‚o Angelica½´Â? ~ ~Â?~‰s and becomes a ‡ Â? –  Â† q „ ž – ƒ­q   q Â?€ spoil Â? ‚ o is Â? ~ d b all. All is ~~‚ ƒ…‚ l q „ ÂŒ Â‚ e Â? Âł Â?l of Padella's sonÂŽ ÂżÂƒ o Â?o žÀo Angelica. Ă Ă‚Ăƒ q q „… Â? q„ q n ‚ e magic g and ‚ e magic ~ ÂŽ ÂŹ ‡ make q Â„    Â„  Â?„Â?  ÂŒ Â„Â… q q – ‚ Â? s ‚Â? ÂŽ fall ‚o ~‚  Â?' Â?Â… Â?Ă„Ă„. q„… „­q q  ³ Â† † ‚ g comes Needless ‚ o sa ‚ in ‚ e end. q Â„ Giglio and Rosalba gain ‚ kingdoms and ÂˆĂ…e ÂŒ ÂŒ ÂŒ  ÂŒ ž spoil Angelica and ÂżÂƒ o  Â? n Âł Â? ƒÂ? e lessons in qƒ€„Œ„ † ƒ q„ Œ„ † ‹Œ † st s € ‚ . Âż ‚ ‚ s is no‚ a ~ Â? ‚ Â? . Ǝe r uv wu) q  Â…Ă?ƒ  ÂƒÂ? Π ĂˆĂˆĂ‰ĂŠ Ă‹ † Ç Ç ĂŒ ‚ e pla ~ ‚ . In a Â? ‚ sceneÂŽ že q q – „ – Â? q see ‚ e cas‚ miming ‚ e Â? Âł Â?…‡ Â…g ƒ…  Â… Â?s of ‚ e q q qÂł ÂŹ ƒ ‹ ‡~ ‚ . In Giglio's speecĂŽ ‚ o ‚ e ‚ ~~ s o Â? e come – q„ q q Â? q q„Œ ‚ o Â?g m Ă?Ă?Ă?Ă‘Ă’ e apes Ă“ Â?  Â?‹ Â? e and Ă” ƒ ‡ l q q„ Â… ‚ o žÕn ‚ m ~ ‚o s side. pq „ ŒŒ q e cas‚ Â&#x;Ă–e ƒ… }~ €Â? † Â?‚ ~Â…g and Â?Âłe a good „€„…­ Œ–  Â†Â… sense of comic ‚ . Billie Ă— ~ s is especiall† q – good as Â?ÂŽe ~  Â… ~ƒs Ă”~ƒ…‚  Â?s Ă˜ ƒ}}Â?…ƒ}}ÂŽ žŽo „… Ă™ĂšĂ›ĂœĂ? ­   Â„Â… Ă&#x;²²à ÂŽĂĄĂ–â aided bĂŁ a s Giglio ‚o Â? g Â?o Ăž q „ ­  ­Â„ Â?  Â?‚ deal of ‚ Â?‚ c padding. Allie ÂżÂƒ Â…s as ‚ e äÂ? † ĂŚ ĂŠ ĂŤĂŹ „ q –„ „ ÂŒ „ „ „ ĂĽ çè ĂŞ èk ‡Â?  s ~ƒ‚ ‚ e }} ‡ƒ ‚ job of €Â? …‚Â? Â… Â…g q q q ĂŽ ‚ e ‚  Â?d of ‚ e Ă­ ĂŻĂ°Ăą. ƒ… ò ‡Â?n ĂłÂ?‚‚ ‰s se‚ is elegan‚ and Â?‹Â? Â?e (and needs q„ q ‚ o be in Â?ÂŽe confined spaces of ‚ s ‚  Â?‚  ) and is ƒÂ? d ˆ o good  }}  Â‡Â‚ÂŽ ‚ q  e pieces of } ƒ …„‚ ƒ e ÂŒ „ Œ„ „ ÂŒ Ăš úÛ ôþÜáøÚ Ăľ Ăťg in a €ƒ ‚ ‹ ‡ ‚† of ~  Â?. Ǝe ‡~Â?‚ ƒ€ s q Â? †Œ q ‹ –ƒ „ q „ also complemen‚ ‚ e ‚ e of ‚ e ~ ‡‚ ~n in ‚  ýÞÿ Ă˝ Ă˝ q„Œ q š › Â?q ÂŹ  Â… ‹‹ Ăź . Ăł e i‚ is Â? Â? ‚ ‚ Â?‚ s ~ s been €~ƒ…‚  d on a Œ„€„‚  d  ÂƒÂ–­ Â‚ÂŽ ‚ q„s seems ˆ o qÂ?Âłe q Â?‹ƒ  d ‚ e „…³ Â…‚ „³ Â… Â?s of e design and is a Â?~ƒ ‡e ÂŒ Â?ƒ q q –„Â?€ † ‚ Â?n Â?. of ‹ Â? e Â?‚ „  ÂŒ

The Rose and the Ring is Â?ƒ ‚Â? e foĂ– Â? ÂŹ ~ƒŒd be ÂŹ Â?Â?‚  d on ‚ q Â€: ‚ qe Â?Â?‚ „ e and Â?ƒ ÂŒ Â‚† of „Œ  Â…  Â„ man† of ÂˆĂ…e lines ÂŹ l ‚ ‚Â? n n ÂˆĂ…e mos‚  Â€ Â„‚‚   d . If e sad ‚ qÂ?‚ † ~ƒ can'‚ go along q„Â? !"# #$%! ‹ Â… €„€ q ŽÂ‚ n go and boo and s a‚ a l Â? ‚~ q„ ‹Œ †  q„ and see ‚ s Â? ÂŽ a Â?l Ă” Â?‚ €Â?s ‚  Â?‚ .

q„ – „ Â… ­ €€ Opening ÂˆĂ…e ‹ ~ Â? e foO ‚ s ‹ ~ ƒ‡‚ ~ ÂŽ bĂŁ q –„… Âƒ ­q  Â? „³ ÂŒ Â…Â?   P Robidee and ‚ Â? } d } ~m ‚ e Q } ‚ Â?ÂŽ „­q  Â…„…g  ÂŠÂ‹ Â„ Â…‡ . RSTU VW“XVY songs in one is a } ‚ [\] J ŒŒ q „ ? ^ Ă–e I KL Â?‡‚ ƒÂ? † going ˆ o Â?Âłe ‚ €e ˆo sa: Z q„ ­ pq Â? ŒŒ J „ ÂŒ – b Â?…†‚ Â… ? Â?Â… } ƒ † ÂŽ I KL do. Ǝe _`a cdl …‚  Âƒ  s q  Âƒ ÂŹÂ ÂŒ „…  ­  Â„Â… q Â? ƒ ƒ q Â? Â? e ~ ‚Ž ‚ l ‚ Â?‚ d ‚o ‚ e ‚ ‡‚ e of ‚ e ‹ŒÂ?† . eĂ…e €„Š‚ ƒ e of old piecesÂŽ and speciall† q ÂŒ  Â…q Â… Â?Â? Â? ‡e ÂˆĂ…e composed pieces ÂŹ ~ ÂŽ and p q Â?‚ €~Â?‹   . pq Œ„€„  q  f ‚ d e cas‚ of ‚ e make good e of Â?ÂŽe „Œ  ÂŒ „ Â?„ „ ­Â„ „ „ space Â?Âł Â? Â?  ŽÂ‚ ‡ Â…g Ă€ Ă– €Â? Â…Â?‚ ~n …‚o seeing q„ q „­q ÂŒ Â?…†‚ Â…g } ~m a fla‚ in Â?~ o ˆo a seed† Â… ‚‡ ƒb h ijk g . q„  Â?– „ Œ„ Agains‚ ‚ s Â?‡ ~p a Â?‚~ † Â…Âł ~ Âł Â…g a „ ÂŒ Œ– Â…Â?³ Â? Â…Â? ÂŠÂƒ ‚Â? ‚ ‚ ÂŽ and ‚ Â? Â? ÂŽ and a bag lad† ƒ…}~ Â?. ÂŒ q Âł „Â? q Â„ ƒ ƒ  We Â? n of ‚ pas‚ and } ‚ . ƞo Â? e n } ~m q ­ q „ ‚ e ƒ‚‚  Ž one Â?s fallen …‚o lˆ. pq ƒ…ƒÂ?ƒ Â… ƒ q  q …–Œ Â?l Â?‚ e of Â?ÂŽe ‡ Â? Â?‡‚ s is Â? e d m noo . Ǝå: Â… ³ come Â?‡ ~Â?s as Â?‚   ~‚†‹ Â?ÂŽ  ÂŠ ‡ Â‹Â‚ p J q ÂŒ Ă? qn I KL rOe mocking ‚  Â€Â? ³ Â?. eĂ…e spoken tuvwxy Œ„ „ q„ q e is Â…Â?‚ ƒ Â? Â?‚ ‡Ž and ÂˆĂ…e scenes in ÂŹ ‡ s

q q – „q q ‡ Â? Â?‡‚  Â?ÂŽ ƒ…Â?  n and ƒ…  Â? ÂŽ ‡~Â…³ Â?e ÂŹ ‚ ‚ e „Â?„…­ÂŒÂ†   Â„³  Â€ Â?  ÂŒÂ† q Â?ƒ ‹ Â?‡‚~ s Â? e }} ‡‚ . Ă— Â? Â? ÂŽ ‚ e pla† |}~ ~€ Â‚ƒ  Âƒ €  ÂŒÂ† ‹  Â? Â… „q Â… ³ is z{ „ ‚ ‚s ƒs ÂŹ ‚ a †‡ ˆ‰‡ †Š‹ ÂŒ ÂƒÂ–­  q Â… ½ and ‚s s ÂŒ . Iˆ is Â? e ˆ o be ~‚  Â…‚  Â‚Â?„… d and lef‚ ‚ q„…Â?„…g b: a ‹ŒÂ?† . pq q „ „ „ „q e end of ‚ e pla† is ~‹‚ € Â?‚ ‡Ž ÂŹ ‚ ~ƒ‚ being a q ‹‹† „Â?„ …† ÂŽwst Âł ‡~ ‰Â? ending'. Well Â? a ‚. ÂŒ „… q Glad Rag Dolls is ‹ Â?† g aÂ? Ǝe Man in ‚ e Moon q ÂŒÂƒ q  Âƒ „ ‚ Â?‚ e ‡ b on ‚ e Kings RoadÂ? Â? ~ ‚ 20 € …ƒ‚  s Â?o q ƒ ÂŹ ÂŒ „ ‘’ Â? f an ~ s Â? k } ~m College and ƒ…s ƒ…‚ l „ „ Â? Decembe 23. A ‡~…‡ Â?Â? ~Â…Â? † ‚ ‡  Â‚ is “”. m A e e m •

e k

–

The Snow Queen

— šÚÛÜÙ ˜ ™ ôþÜ. Ǝe ‹Â?…‚o season is on Âźs once €~  . pq ‹ Â… €„€ „ „ ÂŒ ­ÂŒ e Â? ‚~ e danceÂŽ Â?ÂŽe ‹ …‡ ‹ e Ă€: â Â?ÂŽe ƒ † q † ƒ  ÂŠÂ‹ Âœ Â? žÂ&#x; q š › ÂŹ ›› › Â‚ Â?‚ ‰s Â?‚ ~ ‡‚ isn'‚ ÂĄ ? No‚ in s one. q The Snow Queen Â?s an all-female cas‚ and ‡   ÂŽ  Â„ ÂŒÂ† ¢¢£ ¤¼Œ§ q tÂŞ } ¨ male ‡ Â? Â?‡‚  Â?. Š s and onl† ‚ ~ÂŽ ‹Â?…‚o qÂ?s Â?ÂŒÂŹ Â?† s been female Þý­Ž ¯° and iÂ? qÂ?s Â? Â?„ onl† ‚Â?  n a mino biˆ of ‚ Â? Â…g ˆ o make iˆ ÂŒ  ÂŒÂ† ²³´¾œ´ ¸šºŸ €‹ ‡~ ‚ female. Ǝe dame Âą ¡ ) is noÂŹ q Âż Ă Ă‚ q  q a Â?~€  Â?‚ ½ž Ă€ e Â?‡‚  Â?s ÂŹ o complains Â? ~ƒ‚ ‰‚ e €Â?Â…Â?­ Â€ Â…‚' and Ăƒbac`aaĂ„s q Â€~‚ „³ Â?‚ „~n ‹ŒÂ?† „…g a ~Â? . ¿ ÂŒÂ„ ³e meÂŽ „‚ ‰s } ƒ……„ Â‚ qÂ?n iÂ? Â?~ƒ…–Â?. IndeedÂŽ q  Â… „ „ €Œ† Â…­Âƒ Ă…„…Å q  & &' *+, † The Rose and the Ring is on a e () -./e ‚ e ‚ e pla is done } ‚~ ‡ k and is 0 12345 „ 7 ÂŒ ÂŒÂ† ­   – q –ƒŒ ƒ–„ Â…  tÂŞ ƒ… † ‡ . Š s is e ‚ l 6 d Decembe aˆ 8pm Monda ˆo ‡ Â? ‚Â? ‚‚ d ‚~ Â? s ‚ e Â? ‚ Â? q – q 01 q  Â– ÂŒ  Â„ q q 4 Ă“Â?‚ ƒ Â?† . Ǝe 8Â?‚‡ € e 23 5e is on ‚ e ‡~ Â… of made Â? ƒ… Â?…‚ † ~ Âł ~ƒs b: ‚ e lesbian ‚  Â€e ‚ Â?‚ q€ q – q q ÂŒ – ­  Â?   ã ƒ ‹ † 8Â?‚‡ Â?ÂŽe Â? . Ă˜ a goes ˆo e Road and ÂżÂ?‚‚ a 9Â? k Road and can be ‚ Â? s lˆs Ær ‚ ~  Â?‡q d b: ;<=>?=m @ ƒ…‡‚ „~n BR o  ÂƒÂ? s 44 o 170 Ă‡ĂˆĂ‰ĂŠĂ‹ĂŒ fo Ka† Ă?ĂŽĂ?Ă?Ă‘Ă’e of q Ă“ÔÕÖº' fo q . Ǝe SnoÂŹ q ÂŒ  p„ Â? ÂŒ q   ­Â„ } ~m ´Â?ƒŠ Â? l ‚ ƒ  . ‡  Â‚ s cos‚ ABCDEF ‹ ƒs G1 Ă—Âƒ  Â… ‰s Ă˜Ă™ĂšĂ›Ă˜d is a kiss. ĂœĂ?Ăžn ‚ e ~  l ÂŹ Â?…‚ s € Â€  Â?q„p of ‚ qe ‚ q Â?‚ e ‡Œƒb HÂ?Œ‚ q~ƒ­q IJKL qÂ?Âłe ‚ o ‰‹ŒÂ?†' and 'sleep' ÂŹ „‚ q Ă˜ Â–Â?. Ă&#x;ˆ Ă s Â… ³ åâãäüÌ ¼¢¤Â›Â™ÂĽÂœ¤Â—l € Â€  Â?q„p ÂŹ „‚ q ~‚ q } „…­e ‚ q Â?‚  Â?M . ‚ q~ƒ­qÂŽ and ÂŹ „Œl onl† offend ÂˆĂ…e mos‚ }Â?Â…Â?‚ „‡Â?l q € ‹q   ~ ~ ~ . LiN W. Page 8

pq Â? ­ ÂŒ „q   Â„ €„ e ‚Â? e design is }} ‡‚ ³ Ž and Š s ÂŹÂ l ÂŹ ‚ q ýçè ý­ç ÂŹ q„ q Â…Â? € ĂŠĂŻĂŞĂą ÂŹ Â?  Â‚ e ° ‡ ‚ Â? }~ s i‚ } ~m a Ă­ Â?‚ ÂŽ „ „– ­ – „ Â?Œ„ „ ‚o a ³ Â? e Â?  Â…. ĂŤĂŹĂ­ĂŽe is a Â?‹ Â… Â…g of €ƒÂ? c Ă´ q„ q Ă° q ÂŒ q ÂŹ ‡ adds ĂŻ ùù ĂŻe ‚ o ‚ e ‹ Â?† . Nicola òÂ?‚  Â…s Ăł þÜáø) „ „ does a fine job of ‹ ~‚ Â?† Â…g Â?ÂŽe €Â?Â…Â… Â?€s of a † ~ƒ…g ÚúÝßý and ÞþÚþš ò Â… Â† is splendidl†  ³ „l as WolfĂż q „ eclipsing n Â?ÂŽe SnoÂŹ Ă—Âƒ  n (Donna Ă” Â?€‹ ~Â…) q Â? ÂŒ „€ƒŒ Â… Âƒ –„ ÂŒ ­Âƒ Â? } . e Ă…e ‚Â? ~ s Â? ~ e of ÂˆĂ…e  Â„ ŒŒ ­ …–€ q Â? ~‚ s is  Â?ƒ‚ } ƒ †  ÂŠ Â‡ÂƒÂ‚  d and ĂĄĂ–: q ˜› q  Â„…–  Â› ¤ as is ‚ e dame's — — —n accen‚ as ‚ e Ă— .

Ă­ĂŽ Ă– ĂŤĂŹ e Â? e one o Â?žo l linesÂŽ Â? q Â…Â? ƒŒŒ†  Â?q„…­ no male Â? . ‚ Â? } „ „ ÂŒ q  q„ q ò } Â… ‚  Â† one of ‚ e  Â‚‚  Ă” Â?‚ €Â?s Â? ~ÂŹÂ?ÂŽ } ~m ÂŹ q„‡q Â?ÂŽe lesbian ~³ Â‚~Â… s fiˆ Â…Â?‚ ƒ Â?ŒŒ† ÂŽ and one ÂŹ q„‡q is ÂŹÂ ÂŒl Â?ÂŽwst a Âł „Â?„‚ . q „Œ Yoƒ can see The Snow Queen a‚ ‚ e ò l Hall ‚ s q Â…„ p  Â…   Â€ Â…  Ă” ‚ ÂŽ 16 Ă” e ӂŽ WC1. 9 }~ Â? ‡ s ƒ Ă…Ă“Â?‚ ƒ… Â…  Â?Â?„~Â…Â? † ‚ „‡Â? Â‚ a 8pm. IÂ? s l Jan 6 and a ‡~ ‡ s “”. m

!" !+ "$ %&' !"() 'I don' sing m I# ' is * Jalac' !. $ +0 "%2 &%(+/3"$ % + ./ e1 . He $ + "d , *- s said of s 7 &4 in 1953 5 singing ballads and 6 4"s in a small * +' 9: 4/ . ! !. ! !"+ 7./" # s in '56 8 ; / Put a Spell on l e e ! ! !. 2 You, e song + made m +(&4s as Screamin' 7" !. +' 0% $ $3%"+( Jay Hawkins. He 4/ < s and 6466 s s * =>?@AB> !. !"+C .7' %!' !(.3 /"3%&(+/ . %+3 ! s c < -. D e %. % 0% 77 &% $ $4/ * # < g in a +C" ' 6+ &/"< + e all +6&4 !%"+ "/./ !. 0.% 9: C&& & FGHGI !"% # o spells o E J g s l8 ; 7"+C ./ !.( ! ! . 3%"+ " 4 %&+% g . D e song d an 1 a e (e ! 3!+% $ "$ . + LM < # 1 e sales of K N a and * s kep off e million copies. ! 2 &77& ./ '"+% $!& " %.2 & +% !.0!7' D e * g s * da# * #s !"+ %.3+ >@??@? %&3 $43! l k and songs as Alligator Wine . % . 07 ! 0 and Frenzy. D e $ + e +3 s became /3 "+$ / ' 9: !+77& ""/O$ ' 7 %4 "% +/.(+ " * d 8 ; coffins and e 66 % 0 %. ! QRSTU s and snakes< + $ and fake< $ "* "d all KLMN P 7 ! $ +0" ! $ 4 WXYZ e < and a pe - l called V * o smoked

3.0+% $!"" Fc € s and se off s of flame b m pieces of }~ % ! 3%"+("% a pape in e ‚ s palm. ƒ„… ! $.g ." !+% .("$ + ./ < and , *- s † e s came d 2.2 "" '"+% &4 ! ! +% e bes 1 of n s in e spen .7 "%/"$ "2 &% %"O"("%0./ !.3! * # s6 e g in a film in 7 8 * ˆ %+7. %& " &4% ‹Œr Â? se ‡ m off on a of ‰Š l ÂŽ [ 4$ a and Â?4 1 < 9: %0. "%2 &%(+/3" (+ /+77' (&% %"$ %+./" s onl' e d 8 ; 1 !+ ! +$ +7 n in e 1 . 1979 and '83 sa* * o ne* 64($. ! 77 . Screamin' the Blues * +s a $(&& 3& "3 &n of old $!& " 3!+%+3 "%.$ .3+77' &%.0./+ songs< and Real Life * d l 7' %.3 9: 7 0"/ 7"% ‘’ < almos s 8 ; a Â? “Â?n o 6 4"s ballads in a 7 . % !. •–—˜™š›š $ ' c e 6" +' /g some / s of age and ” UTÂœ Â?ž P . . ! (&% %"3"/ '"+% e s defe seen Ja' ,+*- /s D e ./C&7C" 9: .%"3 &% +%(4$3! d 8 ;# Jim Â&#x; . Stranger than 7 % ! %. Paradise, Â&#x; + (4$3 as bleakl'  ¥¢¢£ + e of * +/#" /g % +%+ .$ %. 4/0+%.+ .((.0%+/ , n s looking fo 1 # e in [ (" 3a 2 "+ 4%" ! .7 s / Put a Spell on You as e e song. Tom

Bob Mould

. 7 %. ¤ "% ./ !. +' !+ Œ§¨Š¨ª ! ­Ž¯°¹­ . $"7 Husker Du were a * #" ' acclaimed [ (" 3+n noise .ÂĽ l f - g s * and ÂŤ eÂŹ !& %"(+% + 7 %"+ ! %+ !"% ]^_ 4$" ' "7"3 %. 04. +% 9: $ ´ ¾œ 8 ; band and Bob \ d d o pla c *s a - 6 e 6 # of ²³ Âł . I is like % %. . 7 !. 0 !. 2.% !. %. Husker Du . He's 6" 4n s $ &4 of ` + n as a * + 3 /g an + $ $1 +$ /g pain on a 3+/C+s in an !. & %"/ 7' !+ !+¡+% (+//"% '" % +3 O! " a + +% Fc ! + + solo s all on s * n 1 b m e backing 11 1 d < managing o 3 "+ e %.3! 3&!"%"/ !&7" band. * a and . ¸šº +% ½ž¿Ă€ ! % ]^_ +%%.C" $ +0 3&/2%&/ $7.0! 7' \ d s on e o a e eÂź edges: some of e songs + "/a % z{| ". !"% !+% "(4$" +4 ."/3 ! +% ' %./ +% .347+% ĂƒĂ„ % & 4. d # e* o e g o come o " (s 6 Ă e there, y Ă‚ f fo o p on a 1 9: ! % 7. 7 % % 7 % . 7 % $ %+/0 8 ; a e se bFcm e $411& band. Said long & < + " /+ C" ' < seem o defe e $ 43 4 ". All .( %"$$.& ! ! !.0!7' $4 &% ef 11 < House of Freaks seemed o d e los some < e main 1 e same n is one of !".% ("( "% ! +' ! !+%0" 3%"+ .C . ' !.3! Ă†Ă‡ĂˆĂ‰ & +% "%"2 3 g !+ o e gig being 6 of 6 s on e * d * Ă… s * #s a clima % ! & /" 04. +% Ă?Ă‘ "C"%' !./ "g3" Ă’ Ă?ĂŽĂ? 1 a singe * o * d a of g and is Whichever Way the Wind Blows ĂŠĂ‹e ĂŒ g las %4(("% % LM ! !./ ! 3&/3"% jk 3&/ %.C" "%2 &% $" LM a# . hi e * o d o1 m fo K N song of e main . We k e is K N as . % . !+7 ! % 7 . ! % !+ !. ! !. ]^_ f an &4 "+C /g no (1 "$$ &n & " n s song< a \ d lies on s back a e end of %"C"% "%+ ./ +%&4/ !.( 4 mnopqrmn l . 6 cascade of feedback g d .` 2.%$ $.0! 2 % ! 7 7 % ! % % % . 7 ! A Bob s&4 d 3" + / ' doesn' look as no! [ " e smoke +s 3 "+ "d e " 4 /s o pla' a !&40! ! .7 %"+$$4% ! +4 ."/3" ! ! $!&% u 4 ÔÕÖ $ "" +3&4$ . $" e* l e e # < e looks t tn < 6 Ă“ * < c . Again e 7+' 04. +% (&% wxw ? !+ z{| +4 ."/3 3&/2 4$" vd # #. ev ny do. He 1 s like a e is 27 7 % man being " "3 &34 "d b' a '(&< spasmodicall' h

Ă— +. $ . % !. % . ! ' simila * $-"' O$&+-"d C& 3e 1 &C #"d e ! ‘Ă? Â’ +%(4$3 ÙÚÛ % Ă˜ c fo Down By Law, e Ăœ Â&#x; h filmĂž 64 ! !.% % + ./ %" 4%/ s in Mystery Train, e d majo , *- s !.3 +%(4$3 &C"( "% Â&#x; h filmĂž * h opened in London in Ă&#x; 6 . Ă— +. $ $&4/ %+3 4 # k is again # e o Tom < and The ! + ./ 7+' ! %"3" .&/.$ of a seed' & "l in , *- s 1 s e 1 åâã &4%.$ '&4/ Memphis Ă e * o g Japanese s in . % . % !. % $"+%3 h of 1+ +# $e and a good (e + e $ 1* "3-"#. 2 ĂŞ 9: 7 %. ! üÌçèÊ ĂŤ ' &4 / ".0! ä ' Ja is no* g 8 h e 4l * Ă­ĂŽ | '"+% ! Ă°Ăą + of his ĂŹ y s behind him. He * s a e ĂŻ n & &4/ %' 74 +77& "" Ă´ þ…þÜ 9: ! 4$4+ ò ò b on , * n Ăł † á8 h e l ! $ . "% 3%+ 7./ +%&4/ mechanical 1 # s * g d on his pianoø e Úú^_ WXYZ %& 43./ 37&4 lV 1 # g #s of smoke and flashes of % +%&4/ "+% $ 7. ./ $!%." %"/ ./ ! -s # g e ai flame and O 1 g d 77 . .7 % 7 his $1" 6&4/d +4# "/3". He * l 1 &6+6 ' be back: don' miss him. s

Xmas mix +3 "3&% ./0 ef # s d e decided Those * -' people a Food Ăť 9Ă˝ 4 %"+77' Ăż (+ %"$"/ !. ÂŁ o Ăź e s all a s t . No Ăž Ăœ s1 ! % .% a Jive Bunny megamig of e labels 1 "( " hi singles 3&C"%./ & !"% 4 !%" 6 e bands g each . %% %7. 0 So * e ge 34 "/ media #+ / s Jesus Jones g ĂŠĂ‹e e ĂŠo ĂŠĂ‹e Crazyhead song / Don't Want 9: $4% %.$./07' $& !.$ .3+ " 1 1 That Kind of Love 8 h d . %"$47 $ !. & C .&4$7' $ +% ./ . Jones is 6 g o +-e s (4$ c 7. 7 ! $"%.&4$7'

!./ s ga e bi . Crazyhead ge e %"+ "(&7. .& ! n job on e Diesel Park chance o do a l # 7 z % West +3k Like Princes Do. I cF s so * " l y {| 7 . ! % !".% 7.C $" $ &4 + & / d conside # 1 g i in e . Diesel Park !.7 % .2 ! West ("+/* e can onl' 1 " ' e classic Jesus z{| . Jones single Info Freako and in doing so y lose s . %4 + $+%3+$ . !.3 %&C . " ! l c * * h 1 # s e onl' 6 .$+ &./ ("/ !. 2 . % # 11 of s "$ C e bFGe fo all. .

Page 9

Various

Electronic and New music

Some Music is Private Music is a sample of 'ne ! " %&' . I is no Ne Age# (i.e. $ m * &,'%) - ,'(.*, * . ( ))*' $ d $ l s and + $ ) + / 45 . ) '-% d 0-1 k fo$ e 2 $-, $ d 3 637 + $ . BC . : ,' .*%) 0 s and !'-%g 89 ;<s " o =>?e @A D@En e ,.'- . HIHJHKL ' / F % $ + e (o$ d be G ) $ $s * - % ! % % , . *% . * $$ 2 $ g $ $ $ 0 s in M * N PQRSQ UV . ' 0 $ s O . FM $ k i isn' +- T h e * (,! . & * XYY .'-, ( *' n of Shankar's e 0-, c cW Z * * * * * . Parambh, e 13 pieces =>?e ,-22 % , 0 $ ! o *%- , .* ( make s a ,-$ + e 70 0 . Tangerine Dream, Andy Summers and Eddie Jobson *%, . * '% * - *'% ( 'F *& &* * * $ $+ e 0 $ m $ + ! and $ s . ) . "'- d ( # '- h [-00 $s e $e 0 h as one & !, \ . *%F % *F % , s of his Police solois lacks e . ^ i k ] _`ab`c`d sae fgh j s Michael Brecker and David Sanborn lmnop on Michael Colina's Joy Dancing. As a sample$ i is cheap and good F -e and * .'-) * . h e $e " l make !'- $-,h '- and +-! . % * .* rst - ')e $e back e of s label i is q l a . 'F . .%'( . p Jean Michel Jarre -$%s + e e . . '- vwx - " . I also u s 0 h + $ n e ne sample$ * )* HI b! y $ n z{|}~ s € ‚Je labelƒ Music Without Frontiers Vol 2. * . * * Again long and ( '% ! lo" ($ e „ e $ , s '! * (( % ! &'% " *F $ d songs and d $ s o &* , ÂŒ . †‡ˆ‰ ,- Š i is keep e cos Â… h a F $ e ‹ Â?ÂŽÂ?Â?e of * * ) . &* * - *, , ! i is 22 o n o in a single , % . s ‘’““” -,*'% M&- * % . % -, .* 2 # •$ d – s „ s . ˜™ ! *% ,'(.*, * & means — š $e $ g o be # no . . . . ˜ %-& (.' ' $e $e e s of m o$ — ™š sing UV . ' F % ) & '- , % + ) d o clash T h e 0 $e $ e ÂœÂ?žÂ&#x; ! ,- ' (', l pieces b h 0 $s as Michael Nyman › and Ennio Morricone. . ¢£¤¼£ ÂŚ ( ' .* ¨Šª­Ž¨ ÂĄ l $ + 0s of s § One of e ÂĄ n is . . , %& . * °¹²³´¾ e d on e 2 $, $d is no as high as ÂŻ . / , ( %'-) " 0 $. Fe of e $ s $e good h o make . * , %) . !'- " % *, . " .' o e on $ $ s n o e šºŸ š alone. œ¡¸ ½ ¡¸s bž Mike Gibbs and Itchy Fingers . ) %'% - " $e pleasan $ l flo h +- $e is no ÂŽÂżÂ?9Â?: *% . &'"% *). , %) h o e e Llano b! Cassell $ $ . / . , Webb. Of e middle F n $ s onl! e ambien , %& '- - . ! Snow b Electric Circus s e final side + UV picks -p T h Ne" Age folk b! Michael O'Suilleabhain . ,.'" *% . and e peices b! Nyman and Morricone g e &* " % , *'- ' (',* *' n and 22 $ e + n $ s 0 ( * % $ 0 . .* s +- in all I "'- d be nice o $ '00 %d ÅÆ Ă Ă‚ĂƒĂ„ Ă€ Music Without Frontiers 1 oÇ Private Music , ( , ' - ! $e + $ 0 $ . A- fo$ 22 $ + onl C fo$ *% % 0 .

. Page 10

Various

Singles

M (( % ! . , *( * e $ fo$ Roadhouse $ Ăˆ- $ d a É - s $ UV . " * & ! Ă‹ĂŒ Ă‹Ă?ĂŽ "' )-* *, $ . In e ĂŠ ĂŠ c $d band T h a blind . of Rock 'n' Roll ,e $e no ! n a ( %%!. Yo can ge fa blackĂ? Mississippi + - ,0 n called King in Ă?Ă‘Ă’Ă“Ă” wv ' (' * e packs Ă• m an! $ $d 0 $ -m +- !'-%g . )-* *, " .* e Canadian $ s deficien in e sigh $ a > ' '&* ! .* Ă˜Ă™w , $e a Ă– Ă–e 00 # sĂ— a . This leads * . . me o + Fe Jeff Ăš ! Ns -% e o$ some ' $ ĂœĂ?Ăž . , *( *' close $ n Ă› e e $ fo$ Roadhouse. When the Night Comes Falling from the Sky is a Bob . 'F ! ! . Ă&#x; n song $ d b e Jeff Healey Group fo$ e åâãä ĂĽ - 'F , %& Ă?Ă‘Ă’Ă“Ă” film. I is a e ba$ Ă . Tigh + e $d ' ç èÊê . ! %N and 2 l of balls i has 0 $e ĂŚ ĂŚ n Ă&#x; s * / ,.- *% ' *)*% 22 g $ l and Heale! $ s -s o some " d . ,* , *% * / *%) h $ g . This , '- d keep Ăš ! Ns fans '% % -% * ' & . l he $ $ s e follo" ĂŤp o See the Light, &'- ( *% * " .* " h has no gone m in his % Fe land +e (' ! „ $ + + 250 copies sold). &* In a '0( ! 22 $ % ĂŹĂ­ĂŽĂŽĂ”e (good Rockspeak ïðùòùóô á á Sydney Youngblood has a ne 12" þÜ ø (no . úÝßýÞ Ăœ his Ăš ) called Sit and Wait. Ăż e I in e disco & .* * UV looking o ; $ ,, d in m! " e ,- T h m! ches " * % ! , - ! g k on and m medallion gleaming# I . . * * "'- ( ' ! d $ + + do ! " e e , ! s -% l ) * (- [ $ h 'n' Sniff 0 $ e $0 n on . ,Ăˆ- 1 ! e m blackheads some decen . I'd $ $

n dance o s mindless . Bobb! É$ n 0-, .* . . . ).*% be g his cock off if s is e bes e

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'( & ) * * #$$%& )g o *+,- $ e of !% ,0. /01 34 The . m opens 2 h Show Don't Tell and

Chain

Rush

Presto

.*

Fo$ ! $s Rush =>?e been ,'0 %g of an enigma. *) . ) $ ! %'$ d b! e ('(- $ media (TV & Radio) ˜™ >? ! *)%' . % *'% s of — š = e been happ o $e e * * Âł ÂŻc '-$% , s 2 $ '-% ,s 0 ,Ăˆ-' s and poo$ ( ,, ,(* .* ˜™ >? %& . , F $ . Ă&#x; e s — š = e $ d 0 s o * * . ) ) a $ e ( $ of '-$ % $ 'n and $ % d e , -% h ,-((' .* -&* % " .* , ) '" *% wv $ g Ă• m science $ of !s .' ') * e * n and 0 l hippies % o elde$ , ,0 n & * / . ' >? - ' % $ d $ of . The = e been called e -%& ) '-% ( ! -, "' & N d band $ + e of $ $ $ s bigges *% * * ! * ' . * . * -, -,* . $ $ 2 # o$ + o $ $ 0 c o e / singles 0 $ . . * .* % , -&* Presto is $ $ h o LP in 15 ! $s and ) & ( wv . * , ! / 0 $ s no $ $ $e Ă• m $ e of . ' ' ! ' & -, + $ s $e d less as a 2 s and 0 $e as a % - /& ' . )-* ,, & %) $+ $ 0s $$ + $ p o e 0 s + ˜™ rst F *& % . '-).'- N " * *% — š $e q l $ . Neil $ s $ g & ( *' . .* ) n and hidden % s be 0e seems o be ˜™ . * / !" — š magical as in e e $ # l [Red Tide), * * * ' *'% o$ 0 l [Scars) +- his ! $ s $e !( ! $!( c * . * &* * *) * and $ % $ + ! % % o$ ' ! ($ % '-s

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Lightning " h $e + h !( l class! Rush songs. * & * * The 0-, c is % $F'-,# 56768 , %g % o a 0-% %e " , Ăˆ- % - & *% F , .' -, ,' o e + $ g + n $ $ 9 ;9 . 8 : <s and 0('s as Lee and Lifeson pass e lead. . , ! . When e e does $ on The Pass and e , %) ! * $ d Anagram (For Mongol i does so . . . * &* melodicall= +- 56768 (($' s e % 0 c , a ' '&- -( $ k of Bon Jovi. $ $ > $ Hines adds backing . ' *' . F' s on e +F s single Superconductor +- e , F . A @ bes is d o e end of each side. ? h Presto and . * . +$e Available Light $e songs of e highes * . , Ăˆ- * ! " .* " * >? * h l make m %, % = e a 0 s * * . . F'2 $ s fo$ e 2 2 . */ * ' Presto is -% ! o " n Rush ne" fame and 2 $ -%e * BC . . - " ! l no lose m an old fans fo$ T m e + i Ă? Ă“ (' '% . " . F *% " * $ + m is no g o a leas Ă‘Ă’ Ă”e 0 s . '' ! (',,* * * ! of a + 2 $e $e is an + $. .

Carl Kent-Smith and Susan Appleby interviewed the Prims in November. Stick with them, says Car got even more to give us in the 90's.

Interview—The Primitives I

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. Page 11

The Calumny Column

by Caroline Toynbee

€ Â€ÂƒÂ„Â… €‡ˆ€‡ ‰Š‹ ‡€…ŒÂ?€ ÂŽ €…‡ ‡Š l† sm sÂ? m ~ s of ‚ ‚ s › ‘’“”•– —˜‘™ “ Â? Â? d Holbein šŠ„‚€. A ‚ ŠŒk of ¢ › ‡…‹ €ƒ„… Â…Â?…ž ‰‹€  ¥ Š„‹ ÂŽ Š €‡ˆ…‹› ‚‚ lÂœ s Â&#x; eÂ? d b an ‚ Â?Š„ Τ Â›Â? ‡ ‡ cleaneÂŁ on e ¤¼ d floo of ‚e 61. The cleane ›Â? › Š‰¨Â€Â› Â…¢ÂŠÂ„› also complained a blockage in one of e s Â? ¢¨ ›Â? Â? in Š„‚e 63. The ‚Š„‡Œe of e †‡Š €m  Â…s ŠÂ‡Â€Š €d ¢ ¢ ›Â? › ‡… €‹  Â€Â› Š„›  Â‚. sopping of e ÂŞÂŤ Š o ladies ‰›Â?Š„›  Â‰ Â?‰‹ › °¹°²³ › ›Â? ‡ ‚ g o poin e finge of ­Ž­¯ ´ I can ¨ ‡€ˆ€… ›Â?…› ›Â? Œ„¨ ‡‰› l e † maÂŽ  Â€ l be posing as a ‡€…††. ›Â?‰ œ¡ šº Âť › €‡ Âľ e on s chap ¸ Âœ. › ¨ › ½ž¿ old Â… e indeed Â? ‡Šm  o Ž€…‡s ago. A ~A Âź ‰ › ›Â? Â?Â?› ›  ÂŠÂ„¨ ‡€ ‰ €‹› ‚Š of Ă€ ‹‚ €…d Hall Š„ i d be a jollÂŽ Ă‚ĂƒĂƒĂ„ › ¢Â„ ›Â?€ ‡Š ‡ŠŠ ÂŽ Ă Âœs and sp on e o g people's mÂ? m ‰ ¢Â‰ ¨ ›Â? ‰ his Ŋ„ ‚ Še ‡ŠŠm „‚ ‹g his ‹ŠŒ„ …‡‚. HoÆ hoÆ hoÆ ¨Â…„Â?Â? Š¢Â› …‰‹€ ›Â? ˆ…‡‰Š„ ¢Â‰Â›  Â?…› a . He d e s s of „‡ˆ€‰¨¨Â…‹Œ €Ç„‰ €‹› ‡Š  Â?‰Œ e h he  Â…s ‚ † Â? m STOIC-of Ăˆ ¢ ‰ ›‰ ›‰ a œ€œ €‡. One of his ˆ ÂŒ Âœs  Â…s €ƒ ÂŤ Š‹‚€‡ˆ… ˆ e –Ê—“™Ë ÂŒÂ?…‰‡ Â… ÂŽ Šƒ  Â›Â? É Âœ n Nick ĂŒ Æ heeÆ heeÆ hee. No e Š €‹ €‡Ă? ‡€ˆ€…¨Â€ › ‡€ €‹› Â?Â? Š s name can be Š. I is a † ‚ STOIC ¨Â…„Â?Â?‰‹ ‹Š Â€ ¢Â€Â‡ „ Â?‡€Ž Âœ Âœ Æ Neil š Ϡ ‚. Who's g ? ‰› ›Â? Ă?Ă?Ă‘Ă’Ă“ p of e  Â€Â€k is Â? ‡Šm AndÂŽ ԅ‹‹ ‚ €‡Æ ~ĂŽ Â?Š‡Â?€Š„ ‡ ›Â? Š„›‰‹ ÂŽ ‡ Ă—Ă˜Ă™ ‚Æ † g membe of e Geolog Ă• d Ă– . ‰› ۉ › Â? ¨ › ¨ Â?‰ MĂš ԅ‹‹ ‚ €‡ has been  ÂŠÂ‡ ‹g Šo …‡d Â… € ÂŽ  ÂŒh ‰ ŒŠˆ€‡Ž ›Â?…› ›Â?€‡ Ăž Ă?Ă?Ă?Ă“Ă? ‡ Ăœ s fo his Š ‚ e is oil in Peckham Ž€ Ă&#x; . à ¢ÂŠÂ‡Â‡ÂŠ Â€ âĂž ä ›Â? ~ FELI d a ĂĄ Ă? ĂœĂŁ Ă?Ă?e Â? ‡Šm e Union Office ĂĽ  Â€Â€ ‡„ ÂŽ ŒŠˆ€‡› ‰‹› €‡ˆ ‰€ Â›  Â… las k fo ‚e in a highl . I s ‰› ‰› ›› ›‰ › › sen o „s  h some Ÿ½ž¿ ‹ €‡€‚ ‹g ŒŠ‹ €‹ ‚. The › ›Â? çèèÊêê › Â… ŒŠ‹› …‰‹€ ĂŚ †e lef in e e machine d ¢ ¢ ¨Â› › ¢ ÏíÎïðùíòïó þÜáøÚ lĂ´ s of a …‡ ‡… l in Â… e ĂşÂŒ Š €‡. The ĂŤ Ăť ßý › ›Â? Š €‹ €‡ e goes on o name e Â?Â? Š s and ‡€ŒŠ €‹ …›‰Š‹ ‡ ›Â?€‰‡ „‹‰ Â? €‹› œœ Š † ‚ Âœ . Being an s fo à  ‰¨ › ‰› ›Â? Ăż Š‡Â?…‹ g l no †‡ ‹ anÂŽ of e Ăž Æ FELI þÜáøÚ ÂŒÂŠÂ‹Â› …‰‹€ ›Â?€‡€Š‹ „‡›Â?€‡ Š‡€  Â?…ˆ Ă´ Âœ Æ e s d . ĂŒ e ‡€› „‡‹€ ›Â? › Â… › ‰› „ ¨Â‰Â€Â‡ ‡ …ˆ d e †e o s ‚ †† Æ M e Williams. ‡‰Â?Â?› €‹‰‹ ›Â? ›Â? Mos Â? g of all  Â…s e B-side of e

› Ž€…‡Ă? ‰› ‰ ‰ ¨ › Š‡‡‰

s had las s Hon SecÆ Ian s ~ Las Ž€…‡Ă?s @Š Š‡ Bill ŠŠŠ Â‹Ă† has been ‹ˆŠ ˆ€d ¨Â…› € › Â…¨¢Â„ › ¨Â…› €¨ÂŽ Â?¨Â‰Â‹ › ›Â? ŒŠ¨¨Â€ÂŒÂ›Â‰ÂŠÂ‹ ‡Š BCD ŒŠ„‡  Â‡Â…‹ singing a g of songs Â? m his ‚ Âœ! in some A E legal g a e high . GGHIJK …‹  Â€Â‡Â‰Â‹ ÂŒÂ?…‡Â? ŒŠ‹› € › ŒŠ„‡› MĂš F L ‚ ga e of Ϡ of ‰ Ă› ‰›‰ › ‡€ˆ€… ›Â? ˆŠ Ă› › ›Â? ~ Time o l e Š a scam. Seasoned ŠÂ‡ ‹ €‡s fo‡ his †…‡ in e leaking of ‚€‹‚ ˆ e companÂŽ Â?…ˆ 1 MN ¨ Ă› › Â? ¨ ¢ Q1N ‡„ Â?€ ‰‹› Š„›Â? ‰ ‡€Œ€‹›  Â€Â€Ă› › ‚ Še in e been ‚ d o Ă… s o 3 .OP 3R is „Œ ÂŽ o …ˆe ‚„Œh a ŠŽ…l „‹Œh of ¨ ‰ ¢ › U ¨¨ ¢ ‰ ›‰ sample a †‡ŠœŠ Šn of Šž‹ŠžŒ€. This ŒŠ „œn can Â? ‡ €‹ŠÂ‚. So ŒŠ‹Œ€‡‹€d Â… Š„ Bill's  Â€ ÂŤ € ‹g SĂše T VWX ›Â? › ‰››‰‹ ›Â?…› Z[\]^_` › Â…Ă›  ¥  Â‡Â€ÂˆÂ€Â… ›Â?…› „€ Š‡Â?…‹‰ €  Â€Â€ no l all e glasses ‚ d Â&#x; e lef ‚ g a‚ †‚ e has been ‚ d in Y Ă› › Â?‰ Ă› › ¨ › ›¨ › › › on a of ˆŠŠ a o ˆe a sligh Â? …ˆŠ„‡ of ˆŠŠ Â…. Office. The po Œ„‡‡€‹ ÂŽ ‚ …‹Šs a (ab c mos of ÂŹÂ?ÂŽ ›Â? › „ ›Â?…› ›Â?  Â?‰Œ €Œ…„ Šž‹ŠžŒ ‡Š ‡€ €‹› › Â… …‡ ›Â? „‰¨ ? Ă” ‚e e is e same ‚ Â? f e ‚ Â?Â? . So Â? Æ e Šs h came Â? m † ‚ › ‡Ž ‰‹ › Â? ¨ › ›Â? › Â?› Šˆ€‡‹ €‹› Š‹ Š Âœ has been g o flog ŽŠ„À Š n TapÆ Office …ˆe been e Œ‡„€ €‚ Æ hoping Bill € s sen ‰› ¢ › ‡  Â„‡‹ Š Â‡ Ž€…‡ ‡ Š‡€d h a hin of d Tobasco e fo !"e . The Š n fo 2 s o Âœ ' › ‡ Â?Š› € ›‰ …› € › Â?…ˆ $%%&% # g plan' a 50p pe ‚ Æ is ‚ Âœ d o e ‰ ‡ ‹› €‡‹… ÂŁ d () 0 fo Rag. l Ă…Â€Â‡Âˆ Œ€s Office‡  Â…s ~ The Union e N N01Q1N3/ ‡€Œ€‹› ¨ÂŽ › f. f d . Walking home o his jklm ¨Â…› ĂˆÂ?‡‰ › › Â… ¨Â€Â› Š ‡… ¨Â€ÂŽ +,  Â‰¨ ‰‹ › €… ÂŹ …‡ € hi ‡ › lĂ€ ‚ d ~ Ho long Š n Jan Ă” Š * ? fashionable g Â? Æ ‚ Ă… † n (fo i is ¨ ‰¨ › Â? ›¨ „ Š„ …‡ ¨ÂŽ ‰‹ …‡Š„‹ ›Â?…› Ă&#x; Âœ s eÂ? g d Ms ԇ…Š €Ž  l be he)  Â…s ‚ Š††€d bÂŽ a handsome ŽŠ„‹g €‹ €œ…‹. › ›Â? ½ž¿ ĂˆÂ? ‰ ¨ ›Â? ¢ q › › ›Â? /012313 ‡Š ‡ ‡ › . g Â? m he pos in e Âź nea Â? „ „‡€. A case Seeing ‡ ‚ Ă?s €… €‡ clad ŠŠÂŽ Æ e nop h ‚ Â… €ŠĂ† ‡  Â… „ „ Â?€ Ă? ƒŒ„ ŽŠ„ ½ž¿ …›› ‡…Œ›‰ˆ€ s she † ‚ Š. of did she 4 Âœp o @ ‚e meÆ I find Âź Æ can I come u ‰› ¨ › ¨Â› › home  h rst ' M‡ Ă… …† € Š‹Ă?s ‡€† ÂŽ has no been ‰Œ€‡ ›Â?Š ‰›ž ¢Â‰ Œ„‰› ‡€ŒŠ‡ € ¢Â„› …‰‡  Â… ‰Â?Â?› € ‡„‹‹‰‹ › › Š ~ Union Academic 5Â?Â? s ĂşÂ?Â? Æ5 sĂ&#x; ‚ Š d he s ‚ d g a p speed ‰Â?Â?Â?…› ĂˆÂ€ €› €‡Ž › ›Â? Â›Â‰ÂŒĂ› 789 › Š¨¨ÂŠ Â‰Â‹ ›Â?‡Š„Â? is said o be deep in e ‚ ÂŽ 6 n ‚ „Â? f Â? g h š e . Âœ à Š‡› ‹‰Â?Â?› ¨Â€Â›Â› €‡  Â‡Â‰Â›Â› € ÂŽ ›Â? ‰ „ e ‚‚ e of FELI a Â? ago. A nb ›Â? ĂˆÂ?‡‰ ›‰… ›¨ › ‰ › › › › €  Â… Â… …‡€‹ ÂŽ ‚ n Union e s †† signed bÂŽ n of ~ A complain  Â…s made o Union €†„ ÂŽ ‡€‚ ŠÂ€Â‹ Æ ›Â? € ¢Â€Â‡ ›  Â› ‡…‹ ‰‡€ ›Â?…› …ˆ Â… ÂŽ  ÂŠ ÂŽ ƒ nine of e e Williamsv b self-made Âœ n Nick Fo on a :!s Âœ Âœ ‚. I no ‚† s ‰Â?‹…› „‡€ ‰› ¢Â‰ ‰› › ‰› ¢ › ›Â? …›› €‡ ‚ s Â&#x; ¥e false. So Œ‡…Â? ÂŽ  Â…s M‡ Ă&#x; ž ‚Œ„ of ‚€Œ„‡ ÂŽ . La Foƒ complained Â… Š„ e lack Âœ Â?Â…¨  Â…ÂŽ ›Â?‡Š„Â? ›Â? ¨Â€Â›Â› €‡ ›Â?…› ¨Â…‡ ›Â? ‡… Â… ‡ŠŠ Æ in e he signed himself Â? h (i.e. none) of †e Âœs in e ladies changing œ‚. ‰ ›Â? ; Ă› Â? › ›Â? e lis of names. The hapless AAO is being ‡€œ ‹ŠÂ€d I is ‡€e  Â€Â€ s since M‡ Williams  Â…s …††‡Š…Œ €ŠĂ† ¢Â‡ÂŠĂ›Â€ ›Â? €¨Â€ÂˆÂ€Â‹Â› ŒŠ ›Â?…› ¢Â„› ¢Â›¨ ›Â?‰ …‹ €‹› œœ ŠÂœ he has n e h so fa‡ ‹Š ‹g has been done. Š„ €‚s M‡ › › ›Â? ‰ ‰ ›Â? ‰› Â? ›Â? ›› 'Tho< shal no Â? Š‡ e Š €‡ people's names and €n Williams is ŒŠ‹‚ ŠÂ€Â‡ ‹g e œ… €‡  h his „‚„…l ¨ ¨Â‰ =>? Š‡Û‰€ Â…¢ÂŠÂ„› ‰› Ă? € Â…‡ ‰ ‰ l † s . Ă” e of anÂŽ Š Â? ÂŽ ‹g €Â?Â? ÂŒ €‹ŒŽ . ›Â?„‹ €‡¢ÂŠ¨Â› Š ‚Æ folks.

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Â? › ‡€…ŒÂ?€ ÂŽ €…‡ ~ Scandal sm s of one Ă” …‡ €‡ŠÂ„ wŽ…‚. He › ‡€ ‰Â?‹€ ‡Š ŠŒ‰€›Ž yz |}~  ÂŠÂ„¨ ‹Ă?› ‚ x n{ Š elec d Â? m India Ă… ĂˆÂ? ‰ ‰ › ‰› him as Â… ‡œ…n and Â? Š‡œ€d Asian Ă…ÂŠÂŒ € ÂŽ . €‚† e › ‡Š› € › …›‰Š‹ ‡Š ‡€ˆ ‰Š„ € Â‚ Šˆ€‡¨Â… † ‚ s Â? m his † s ƒ „…e o an p € ¢Â€Â‡ Â?‰ ŠŒ‰€›Ž  Â›Â?‡‰ˆ ‰‹  Â‰Â› in Âœ Âœ ‚ †Æ Asian Ă… is no g h ¢ ‰› › ›Â? › ›Â? › some 150 œ€œ €‡‚. I is a † ÂŽ Â… e same can' ‡ˆ‰Š ‰‡ › €ˆ€‹› ‡ be said fo !"e † s finances. Asian Soc's Â? ‚ ‰ ¨ Â?‰ ‰ ›Â? of e Ž€…‡ ‹ˆŠ ˆ€d ‡ ‹g a band fo‡ ‹ŒÂ? 0 and ¨Â…‡Â? ‹„ ¢Â€Â‡ Š„› ‡€ › Â‰ÂŒĂ›Â€Â› ‚. Asian handing a e Âœ of Â? e › › ›Â? › „‹ –Ê—“™Ë  is no in deb o e e ÂŽÂ?Â?Â?Â?‹ŒÂ?Â? . É ‡‰€‹ €› €‡ €‡‰‹› €‹ €‹› ÂŽ ~ M good Â? Š d LeesonÆ ń† of €‹›‰Š‹€ ¨Â…› €¨ÂŽ ’“”• …‡ €‹ n Š s has been Âœ d . M‡ Leeson ‘ „‹ €‡ Š„‹›‰‹ ‡€ „‡ › ¨Â€Â…ˆ ‡Š ›Â? has been Š Âœ g † ‚‚ e o eÂ? m e ‰‹ˆŠ¨ÂˆÂ€ …‡ €‹  Â…‡ €‹ ‡  ÂŽ Š s Š ‚. No I hea he ma be d in ‰ › ‰ ‰ ›Â? ›Â? › e œ… ‹ €‹…‹Œe ‚€‡ˆ Œ€s Â? Š‡ ŒŠœ ‹g @…‚ €‡ ‡€ Â?„ ¨Â€ ‚ Â?Â? .

y – „…  Â… €ˆ…Œ„…› € s d on WednesdaÂŽ x zn a ~ Bei — d ‰‡ ™ š ‡€ „ € › € ‰› Â?„‹›‰‹ Â? e ˜ ˜ m Â? ‚ d o be silenced. ‚† e g high ‰ › ¨ ¢Â› › ›Â? and Š Ă† Š h €†„ ÂŽ ‡€‚ ŠÂ€Â‹ …ˆe Williams and e ‰› €ƒ› ‡€ €¨ÂŽ ŒŠ €› €‹› Âœ Ϡ bodÂŽ of College ‚€Œ„‡ ÂŽ Æ ›Â? Â…¨Â…‡ ÂœÂ?žÂ&#x; ¥¢ ¨ÂŠÂŒÂ…› ›Â?  Â‰Â› ÂŒ › Âœ. The › e e‚ h o disable e ÂĽ › ¨¨ ›Â? ŒŠ‹› ‡Š l panel  Â…s €ˆ€‹ „… ÂŽ £¤$% ÂŚ hidden „‹ŠÂ€Â‡ e ¨ › ›Â? ›¢ › › ŒŠ… ŠŠ Â… €… Âœ. Nice o bags and s of e ladies Â? l ‡€… ‰‡ ¢Â‡Â€Â…Ă› Š„›  Â€Ă?¨  Â›Â?…› if a l Â? e s l all be in safe kno Æ

hands.

Charlie English went to Berlin two weeks ago to see the new

Berlin...

Tear down the wall!

Âś ÂŻ ÂŻ Âł ÂŻ ¨Šª¨­ ; an Ž¨ ­ °¹² ²g ´²¹¾ ¨ l and ¡Ž ¹¾¸š ÂŽÂŤo § Š Âş ¨Šª Š Š ÂŤ Š ³ Š¹ª ¨² Ž° ÂŽ ÂŽs don' ÂŽ ÂŽ people in ÂŽ ´ s Âś ÂŤÂą Š Š Ă€Ă Ă‚Ăƒ ÂŤ ³² m chipping Ÿ½Ÿž a e Âż n Wall. Ă„ ŽŽš g hands Âł ÂŻ ÂŹ Âł ¨ ÂŤ ƍ Âľ ÂŤ Ç ÂŤ Âľ É ÂŽd °°Ž ´Ă… chiselsĂ… ´ ÂŽ ÂŽ s and Ăˆ Ăˆn Š Š Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽĂ?Ă?Ă? ¨ŠŠ ºŠ Š ĂŠ s agains The Wall in an Ž° o ge hold Âť Š ªŠ Š Š Š Âł ÂŞ Âł of Âľ ¨ ° ´ be amongs e mos º š ÂŽd ´¹ Ç Ž² ÂŤs ª¹º in Ă‘ ÂŽ. ª²Ă† Š ¨³ Š ¨ªŠ¹³Š³ ¹Š ÂŽs on ¡ h sides seem ÂŽ n as o The Š Š¹ ÂŤ ¨ ¹ ÂŤ ª¨ º¨Š ÂŤÂą Âľ ¨Š Š o do. Eas Ă’ÂŽ ° n ¡ ÂŽ Ă“ s l on p ¨² ² ÂŤ ¨Š ª²¨ ÂŹ ÂŽ ¡Ž g Ă’ ÂŽĂ… °Ž Ă… of ÔÕe Wall aĂ” ÔÕe Ă– ÙÚ ÂŤ ¾¨Š Ɲ³² Âş º¯ Ă— ¯­ g ÂŽ ÂŽ ÂŽ as people as fa as Ă˜ Ă› can see ÂŹÂŞ ÂŻÂŻ ÂŹ Âł Ă™ ³ Š Š³ ¨ e Ă“¨ ¨ ­ Ž´ ¹­ ²g ÔÕe ²g on Âľ Æh Ă˜ ÚÛ ¹¾ Š ĂœĂ?ĂžĂ&#x;Ă ÂŤ ¨ ¨œŠ ÂŤ . Wes Ă’ÂŽ ° n policeĂĄ ÂŽ clamping n on ĂŤ Š Âť ÂŻÂś Âť Š ÂŹÂŻ âãääüÌçèÊÊèê g las Âľ ÂŽÂŽ Ă… noÂľ onl­ ¨ ¸ Ž¨ ÂŽ ­ ÔÏí Š Š Âą ³Š ª¯Š ¨º¸Š ¹¹Š ¨³ ÂŤ ÂŽd ¡ ÂŽ as o ´ p . The Ž´ is a noÂľ Ă“ Š¨ Š Š ƍ¨º ÂŤ ª¨¯³Š­ people ´ e and p Ÿ½Ÿž e poo ĂŽ cemen Š¾ ƹ²Ă†ÂŤ Š ÂŤ ¹Ç ³² ¯³Ç ÂŤ Âś ÂŤÂą Š ¹³²Š and g ´ ÂŽ s m e ĂŻ s ¡Ž ÂŽÂŽn ÂŽ e Ž° ¯³ŠŠ¯ Š º Âś ¨ ³Æ¨Š Š¨Š ÂŽd blocks. The Ă°ĂŹe e ÂŽ ¡ e flakes ÂŤ ¹Ç ÂŤÂŞ ¹ª þÜá ÂŞ Ž° ÂŽd ùòe ° ÂŽd Ăło be Ă´ h p Ăło $5000 in Ă‚Ăƒ Âť Š Š ĂŤ Š Š ¨Š e § Ž´Ă… so foÂŤ man­ in ¿Àà n Âľ ¨ Âľ o Âľ ÂŽÂŽ s ago Âś ÂŤ ÂŹÂą ÂŞ Š ¨Ă‡ Š ¨Š ²Š ° Ă“ e been a ´ Ž°Ž foò ÂŽÂŽ m has noÂľ ÂŻÂŞ Š³ ÂŞ Âł become a ƍ¨ Ç e ¡ ´ ²Ž´´. ÂŻ ÂŹ Š Š ĂŽĂ?ÚúÝßĂ? Š e e Eas Ă’Ž°¨²s Ž°´Ž Ç ÂŽs ¾¨² ÂŽÂŤ ø œ³ Š ¨¹ª² ƨªŠ³¹ª ¯­ Š ¨ Š³² Þÿ Ăž d ´ ´ gĂ˝ m like a ´ sip of Š ÂŤ ¨¯¯ ÂŤ ¨œŠ ÂŤ Âş ³¹ Âľ ³Š ¹ªŠ ¸ ÂŽ a long ÂŽ d bee l don' ÂŽ ­ need œŠ Âł ªŠ Š Š³ Š ÂŞ ÂŞ i ¡ . Ž°º ¨ Âąn Âą ÂŽn Âľ ²s in e end. A ĂŽ ÂŽ e ÂŤ Ă— ¹¾ Š ÂŤ Š Ɲ ³²Š Š Š ÂŤ Š ¨ Š ² ÂŤ fo a 'Se § ' ´ ÂŽ ÂŽs o e ´ ÂŽÂŽ ; ÂŽ ´ ÂŽ ÂŽ s ĂŤ ÂŹÂł Š ¾¨¯ k pas º¨ ÂŽd ƨs Ž¨ ²g Ă” ¡¨²d names ¯ªŠ ³

ÂŻ ÂŹ Š Âą ǹ Æ ÂŽ ÂŽ Ž´ Ă– ' and Æ Æ ²g ´ ÂŽÂŤÂŽo Âł ¨ ŠŠ ¨²ªœ ¨Ă†Šª ÂŤ ¨Ă‡ ² Š ÂŽs ÂŽ been o . Ă“ ÂŽ e ° ÂŻÂŻÂł Š Š Š Š Šª ³Š Š sloÂľ o spo e ¹ºº¹ ² ­ Ă… ŽÇ ÂŽ ²g in e Ǩ´ neÂľ ³¯ ¨ ¨Í Š !"# l ° ÂŽ of denim clad o men. Ă’ s e ÂŻ ¨œ¯ Š º¯¹­ Ƴ ¨ ŠŠ Ž° ÂŽd Ă”o hand Ă” Ă“ ÂŽ ÂŽs and ÂŽ ÂŽ s Ă” o ÙÚ %& Š Š ¨ ¨š ÂŤ ¨² º¹² ¹ ° ÂŽd Eas Ă’ÂŽ ° s as if Ă˜ Ă› $ e a a ´ ´ ÂŽd Âś ÂŤÂł ² ¸+ Š ÂŤ * Š Âą Š ¸¯ ¨ Š ¯³Ç '(') ; 'Come Ă“ÂŽ ÂŽ ÂŽ n o e as ÂŽ ´ ÂŽ ÂŽ ÂŻ Âł Šª­Ă‡ ¨²Š Š Š ª ' 'The Wes is Ă–Ž´ ' º¹Ă† ¨ °s a Ă“e § Ž´ !"# ÂŤ ¨³¯ ³ o banne ,-./ a ¾¨­ ¡ Ă“ÂŽ. 456 Š Š Ă­ 1 0 Ăł 2e 3 7 of Ăł 2e momen is noĂ” los b ÔÕe

Æ­²³Ă†Âł ¨Ă‡ Š³ ³² ´m of ÂŽ ´ Ă“. Walking alongside The Wall ÂŤ Š¹ª 9 Âľ ³ ²³² ƍ¨Ă†ĂŤ Ă“h Ăł 2e 8 8: ÂŽ g people pee s as if ÙÚ Âľ ³¯ Š Š Âą Š³² ¹² Š ¹ª l see ´ °Ž g ° ´ s on e Âą ÂŽÂŤ sideĂĄ Ă˜ Ă› Âł Š ¾¹¹ ¾¨Š Æ Š ¹¾ ÂŤ Š ²Š Š -. ÂŽn as if e h ÂŽ s o look , / o e ; Š Ă—Âł Š Š³²­ ¹ª ª¯ ¹ª² Eas do no ÂŽ ´ . A Ă“ p e da gapĂ… ÂŹ = >?@A@A Š ÂŞ ÂŹ g Ă”o see an Eas Ă’Ž°¨n ¡¹ ÂŽÂŤ Ă“ ¨ Ă… < ÂŻ ÂŤ ª­ ³² ×Ɲ¨² ³² CCDEFFEF É ÂŽ Ă“ gB G Ăˆ Ăˆn ¡ g pieces of ¾¨ l fo ³²Š ÂŤ ³ŠŠ ²Š Âľ Âł ªŠ Ɲ ¨Í ¨ HÂŽ ´ ° ´. The ÂŽ ° ÂŽ flo of ¡¡ Ž´' is ³²Š ªºŠ Š ­ Š ÂŤ ÂŤ ¨Í¹¾² Š ÂŽ ÂŽd fo a momen b a ¡ ÂŽ : a once ÂŽn Š ÂŤ ¨² ¨Š ÂŤ ¹ª² ¹Š Ă” ÔÕe Wes Ă’ÂŽ ° s Ă“ ÂŽ d Ă”o help ´ Š JKLMNO ¨²Ă— ³¹ª s Ăło see e engine. I P Š Š STĂ Ă‚ĂƒĂ€ ³Æ¨ ÆŠ ¹ ÂŤ Ă… nea Checkpoin R U a In e Q °Ž n ´Ž ¯¨ ³Š KW M ÂŤ ¨Í³² YZ s ùòe ¡ ÂŽ g off Ă“e slabs Âľ h a V I e of X Š ÂŤ ÂŤ sledge-hamme and handing iĂł Ÿ½Ÿž o people. [ÂŽ e Š ¹ªŠ ²ª ³Æ¨ Âś ¹Ă† ÂŤ ¨² ¨ ÂŤ ­ Ă’ÂŽ ° s e almos °¡Ž ÂŽd b Q °Ž n ÂŽs \] ^ a bc ÂŞ ³œ Š Âł ³Š _ some ` l in ² ¹°Ă… come foÂŤ ÂŽ ÂŤ ¡ ; 'I

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been ÂŽÂŤe Âľ o and half ­ Ž¨´Ă… I'd like a piece'. Some ³¯ ªÆ Š efghijk ÂŤ ÙÚ d e hol ° h longe Ă˜ Ă› Âľ l be in Wes Š S Ă‚Ăƒ ÂŤ ¨²­ ¨œœ³Š nopqrst im s 'Checkpoin R Tà ÀU made Ă’ÂŽ ° : Ă“ Šª Š Âł ÂŻÂŻ ÂŤ ª²¨²Š ÂŽ 9 Nou 1989'. v² ÂŤ ÂŽĂ… w Ă” ­º ƨ ­ yz {|{}z {~ x . ³Š Š Š³ Š Š IĂł has o be ¨ºº¹º ¨ e foÂŤ s embodimen of e ÂŻ ÂŻ Š¹ª ¨² Š Š ´ Cold WaÂŤ o be Ž¨ ÂŽn Ÿ½Ÿž ´ ¹¾ ­ b s of Š ¨Í³² ½ ž Š ³ ¹¾ ¯³ŠŠ¯ Âś ¨ ²Š ÂŽ hands each gÂź Âź n e Ă“°Ž ´. ÂŻ Š Š Š Š Š ÂŹÂł ³ This º¹¡¨¡ ­ isn' e end of e Ă‘¨´ ¸ Ž´ Ç ÂŽĂ… Š Š Š ÂŹÂł ³ Âş ¨º  Â‚ƒ„… ÂŽ † and s no ĂˆĂ‰Ăˆn e end of e Ç ÂŽd € Š ¨­ ¹Š³Ă‡ ²Š³ ¯­ ° ¡e Ž´e people's ° ÂŽs Ă°ĂŹe noĂ” ÂŽ ÂŽ ÂŒ Â? ‹ ÂŽ ÂŻÂŻÂł Š Š Š ˆ‰Š ‰ ‡ ; Â?Ăł ÂŽÂŤe canno be a °¹e ÂŽ ²g ´­ °¡¹l Š¨ Š¹ª ¨² º¹ºª¯¨ ´ of opinion n Ăł 2e image of s of Âś ÂŤÂą -. Š Âś ÂŤ ¾¹¯ º¹²Š ¨² ¹ª ¯­ peopleÂ? m all , / e ÂŽe Ă…´ ÂŽ ´ Âł ª¯Š ¨² ¹ª ¯­ Š ¨ºº³² ½ ž Š ÂŽ ´ and ´ ° g Âź Âź a The Wall. ChipĂ… chip‘ chip...

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e l s . Mansion been closed fo an d 15 e has . The s e being d and e l of e n as a e is being p o . g place a Mansion e e The changes . LRT in a bid no o e s s e no longe ) onl closes a of s a an one . If h !"#$ "%&' s e fo i seems sill( o close )*+n some e s and e s open. The l n is o close )*+n all s s so e d l pass 4 º § ÙÚ ¥ ©§º ¥ ¥ ¬«¦§ ¬³¥©Ò checks in a fe s ,-./. The 0123 s ×Ø e ¸ e ° ¸ °¸s ¯ ¤¨h LRT ¤ °. No û §º § §º § §º § appea5 o be e on e olde lines h as e a e °² ³°­¦e of ¦¸£ ° ¢ M ¤s ¬«¦ be e highes 8 9 >? » § § ©¥ ³¥ ©¥ §¢ M «§ n <= @ABC=) line. 67 /5 :o and e ; e ¨©¦¬° ¤c ¨©­¦¤ °¥¸ ¤©­s ¸¥e ¤ ¤ ¹ ¹°£ § A TV e d . day looked ¸ . » § § § EF in the life of... D G o Angel n (Yes s The ¤¥e ° «¤³¬°­ ¬«¦ be ¥°­°¯°d and ¬¸¤­ ¸¤­° . %I#$J OP § § §º §º § § Line againK folks). Angel s openL e Adjacen o ¤s is e need o e all ¦ ¸£ f N h H »«¥ § ¥ ³©¥§ ¼¼ § § º § ¥ M ¼º§ ­ ³¥© s of e . The e sa s ¦« °¦ ¸ ¨° °. Recen £¤ ° £¤ ¤ g ° ÿ ¥ § » §º ­ ¼ª 1234 a e being d e lif s n and s ¸ °a has been ° °¨ ° . Again® e 0 §º § ¦§ § ©­ M © ­» ¥ ¥ § ¦« d e o e e l of . The o be e oldes ¸ ¤ s ¨h as ££ ° ° s appea § º©¦ §º § § §º §º n s 81. He d s 85. I is s e on e °² ¥°¬¤ ¤°s of e ;©¥ °¥n line. þ §« ¬«¦§ ¥ ¦ ¥Ò ³«§ ­§ like Angel e o n closed l s can be e ¹°s ¤ o passenge ° ¤¨°. This » ¥ ª §º ­ ¥ ¦ be in n 100% of e . is ¹°¨¸«¦e of e ¯¤ ° ³¥©¹ °m of an ¤ ¨ °¸ e in OP » º ¥¼¥©«­ ¦¢ ¦§ ¥ «­ «¦ ¼ London d liaise N h In e d ¸ °. The ° °m has no¯ °¸¨ °d a ª § §º § º § §º Qs RST London UVWXs and e e s ceiling. One of e good policies ¸ e ¸ e GLC ª ª § § § ¬³ ¬ ­ ¥ ­¦³©¥§ ³¥©¬© ­ ³« o cope. This l e s ¤ ° ° °d ¯¸s ¸ ¤ g ¹ ¤c . The §º § § º ³¥© ª . Y if a n is isn' i a peak ©«¥s demand has ¹ °m no¯ is ¸ ª § § o close and i n o e e n open ©« ¦ ¥¤³³°d ¦«³³ ¢. ª §º º §º and fo an acciden o happen? of e ³¥©¹ °m °¥e is e ¤­¨¥°¸¦e in Z ¢ §º §º § ÿ §ª ©­¼ ¦§ © Las h Cecil \ n ¨ ° ¤ n on e [ . M belief is ¸ s is ³¸¥ ¢ »« § §º ­§ ¥©»« § © ©³ ¥ § «¦ ¦ d plans fo an n o e] e line ¨ ¤ n of one-man ° ¸ °d ¹ ° . e o e¤ » § § §º g o Docklands. This is s o a small One need look no óñ òó fo¥ °Ò ¤ °­¨e o ¦«³³©¥ ¤s §º § º §« § ± §º g o .B one ^_` a`s ¸n e ¹e and ¹«s ¦ ¥¤ °s ´µ¶· e ¦«¬¬°¥. On OP » ¢ § « M©­ª¢ ¦§ ¥ ± §º § §º M ends p N h a d . The n ¤ e ¯¸s in °££ °¨ ® e ¸ s e a ¹° e §º «¦ ¥© » AB ©­Ò ¥¦ ª¢ is o e one's s e n e ¹ °s ABe ¸ s e bedlam. ° ° ® e e »¥ Ò ­

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By Paul Shanley

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e I've been videoing a lot of daytime television lately. The programmers who claim standards will decline when de-regulation comes into force need look no further than their own back yard. The day usually gets off to a start with a game show. The ITV regions excell at this sort of programming. From the channel that brought you AVame that Tune and That's My Dog comes Keynotes. Presented by a redundant D J - a s nearly all these shows are-our first glimpse is of the contestants. From then on, it's downhill all the way. The idea of Keynotes appears to be to guess the next word in a song. The contestants are clearly hand picked from Mensa's finest judging by the challenging questions. (7 want to be a part of it, New York, New * * * * ' ! . Last week's programme featured Jim, looking remarkably like the token 'lovable cockney character' one sees in every sitcom Thames produces. Jim was clearly getting carried away with it all. So much so, in fact, that he kept clapping his hands throughout the whole s h o w - e v e n when he got an answer wrong. This pales into insignificance, however, on flipping channels. Every morning, that guardian of morals, is there to promote everything that is good -Kilroy! Robert Kilroy-Silk interviewing technique has apparently been gleaned from the Daily Mirror School of Journalism. In comes the camera for the close-up of the victim's face, dim the house lights, speak in a soft melancholy tone-watc h those tears start flooding. The main feature of Kilroy! that sets it apart from the other crap talk shows is the resident nutter. It is a little-known fact that a researcher is employed to scour the tube for headcases in order to reach a quota of five per week. During remembrance week, Kilroy-Silk interviewed a studio full of war widows demanding a higher pension. With the whole audience in agreement, our Robert must have been thinking of ways to pad the programme out to an hour. To his rescue, up jumped a fruitcake. 'I wouldn't give any of you a penny. Your husbands

knew they might die—it's your own fault'. A verbal melee promptly broke out. One old dear, fighting back the tears, wished Mr Fruitcake was dead. The same nutter appeared a week later disguised as an 80 year-old army vet. The subject was vandalism. The old boy told a moving story of how his garden was continually ruined by 'young thugs of subnormal intelligence'. His story started to go sour on telling of how he'd frightened them off with his shotgun. 'And they got away did they?' asked Kilroy through

g

feigned concern. 'Well, one of them did', replied the nutter, 'but I blew the other one away'. What sort of producer would allow this form of entertainment? Yes, you've guessed. The producer of Kilroy! is one Mrs Kilroy-Silk. Warnings of naff television will doubtless go unheeded. Sky and BSB may bring programming budgets down to pocket money; deregulation will probably bring standards plummetting. But in terms of really good, bad television, BBC and ITV will be scooping the awards for years to come.

Giveaway

Roll up, roll up! Join in with the latest Government giveaway! From the party that brought you: • Japanese nee British Gas pic (name changed in aid of foreign investors; tell Syd). • H 0 (the only share offer guaranteed to be floated, because everything floats in British water, even the fish), and The rot started four or five years ago when some • British Telecom ('Melvyn? It's your mother. Can you bright spark realised that Britain had gone metric. As pay my phone bill? I can't afford it, because I'm a war the base of this new system is ten, it was no longer widow'), comes Christmas. Yes, your very own necessary to continue with duodecimal practises. festive season is soon to be privatised. The various Times tables only went up to ten. If you wanted to yuletide activities will be delegated to separate work out 11 x 11 or 12 x 12, you had to write it down. companies: Presumably the same high flyer at the DES is • Christmas trees courtesy of Amazon Rain Forest responsible for this new situation. Mental arithmetic Destruction Ltd. is not an asset or a useful tool-it is essential. Children • Christmas Television courtesy of Kilroy & Wife pic must, of course, be taught how to use calculators and (in association with R Mellie of Fulchester). the like, but it should be a second priority. The • Santa Claus will be played by Ronald McDonald. overriding one is to learn the methods of how sums The only Xmas tradition to remain is the part of are computed. Ebeneezer Scooge. Her position is unasailable. One day the batteries will run dry. Unfortunately, Have a good Christmas and get prepared for next so will the brain power of this generation's kids. term-it's going to be a good one. Page 15 2

There has been a lot of talk lately of the national curriculum. This catch-all syllabus, which is being introduced into all state-funded schools, is subject to much debate. Many aspects of it are worrying. The need for teachers to be good administrators instead of able tutors is one that springs to mind. Having read the maths section of the curriculum, I have to say that one tiny detail horrified me. Children from the age of six upwards are being taught how to use calculators. Calculators and computers work very well. They allow complex sums to be carried out quickly and with ease. What they were not designed for was replacing traditional mental arithmetic.

Every bloody year it's the same, a time to dread as the family reappears.

Why I hate Christmas s is a e n e e in e h of e bab # s and e'( s in of s ! " $ o so e e %& . I sa !

s is a e n e all damnedes * o ge as ) k as possible in an o e e + e ) d . + +

? Old g so Wha makes e e < - / 1 people, s . 0 . 23456 789: ; => * e d in - + ? e e shoes + l+ las m ' and

) s h l s . @ABn e e da ;<=> +l ))+e in )

? DE of C n FGHIJd K like some * s + ? on g h + s and + socks e ge . And e L g N M OPQRh e cold in e place? To blood + pen and pape se (again). I d be added a s poin e one good g old people is TU

< + m ; => + s S e * L . M )

++ s b e V

s Message. + This leads on o e da . W L g d + ? Y Z

a - d i is+ + X X l o be db * s kiss. I is a e [\DEn fac an old ] )* s e 60 s o e o * e ++ + - _ ? ) and ) be o kippe^ effec l fo s e of ) ++. ` d +d ++ +l o e m a a +e ** ? * * o dog o lick o )ef e bc e offending a ad e doge all has e sense

_ e and a +l se of

. Do ? ghiBABjk of

* e lmnop o be qrst. Dinne is onl d e . s a lo of d _ . Do This * o ge e )* s ) k a s ? uv45 e e) in h ) . If slip m |}~~ <s=> + * + s ; an wxyza { l babble on fo  Â‚ƒ„ ] s and ho e cos †‡of € + , s in + - ? s h ) . If ) <e=> + s Â… e babble on fo s ho nice i s + ; l

o see e and ˆ e back again and ho Š"‹# + ? ? canno e K n s i ‰ L . Œ

onl d ) e is if in ) ge m ÂŽ .‘’The Â?Â? “’”. A •–—˜˜™ in e is š›œÂ?h o in Â? žÂ&#x; ¢£¤ lÂĄ . No e h s of ho . I is + \DE + *

¼ a l [ n fac l s e an §§Œ¨Šªl * of s ­ŽŽ¯°. I is a ¹²³´ sad ? Œ + ? <=> ¸š ; e packed l of * p ¾œ¡ º L + . Yes? one  +l and e Ÿ )* s + * + l be able o accompan e ½ l ž

m a e end of e V

-s Message. The o s * + m is simple. Old people + s STU e badl g) . TheÂż spend long L s ) g Àà À a m ) fo ĂƒĂ„Ă…s ) ? o Ă†Ă‡Ăˆe + ++Âť e mos g . The end of

) L s is L + a d akin o e machine ] m cleans e s on e ) ). h + ¿ ¿ The do s o anno kno s l be e + É L . The las e e <=> + m d fo a long e and o make e mos of . The plo is ) ; hiBABj edgedÊ g . Fe people kno old people CANNOT EAT NUTS OR ANYTHING WITH SEEDS IN. *+

TheÂż ge ) . To L d e d * * + ? simpl * ]+e s + + o e offending s on * . This d ĂŽ Ă‹ĂŒĂ? . I s e dange of THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN AT CHRISTMAS DINNERĂ? ghiBABj. Page 16

mnop happen a s The ? l g * can ) is an old n ) L s a seed o piece + + ++ ) e ) e * . The¿ l of Ó can look on in glea? and e e �ÑÒ ÔÕÖ as + L

) ĂŽ e d b a fe decibles. If s does no + +l L + + ĂŒĂ? e e . If do Ă‹ Ă— + d e no l be d o e sigh of •–—˜˜™ g ÙÚ he ) s . Ă˜ h a d like e h of a small + D + ea p of pink and e Ă›: m a common + field

? ) ** g ĂœĂ?ĂžĂ&#x;Ă a åâåãäüÌåãå. e l yçzè ĂŠ L An hopes of g e of e w fo ÂĽ g + Da l ) Àà À êÍÏ¢¥¢Ï. Ă D + ? is Ă­ ĂŽĂŻ ] Ă° chance e ĂłNo o h Ă€ À Û: m ò Ăą d e ) s cabine and look back a STUe L d s ôþÜá. Amongs e + s of ÂĽ and ] Old Spice fo e blokes and ø s and K* s Gif ÝßýÞÿ + ) fo e Úú ?Ăş p ÂĽ s e (especiall

e lie e endless s of socks and )] . h s o people e of e offending <do no need an

; => l find in. fe people go d e age of 60 lose kno + once ? * e e ] o g ] n socks )+ s and of e gif . Old people o p shops. Tha! is ;<=> + s onl Le send d L s fo WH K s and " + ? ] ] * s < and gif s fo ø s and K

=> ĂŽĂŻ * e; sell socks and....) If Ă­ Ă° Âź ) s #

' Ă… < + + $%& d make e Ăƒ ( )* ; => d * ge L s

] -

fo e ø Âź ) s Polish shop in ? Gdansk fo e shee L . + - / ĂŽ . 0 Ă°k in a shop 123– s and ,. s

* see if can pai of + e o sell an+ old n a socks. Soon l find f ** g e old +

asking 'Wha 4e socks d madam like ) 6sband 78a9c:' This is socks come in h + e o5 4e . When •–—˜˜™ can )+ + ? g da i is she h hope of 4 ? ) has * ? ĂŽĂŻ does she? One las Ă­ Ă° shoe ? + + . Old people? if a all possible l s go fo e ;<==> socks - h A STUe L ) d and ?Ă?ĂŒĂ‹n ?of so long ago. BCDE ²³´ Üá eÂą m and sensible GHIĂ?JKL) #ÂĽ @ F TU +L n is o cancel e The onl hope S e of + ++ ²³´ # " ! go is Âą . When e . This * o collec e + L + )

s sa þÜágMlike 'Wha a speech e V n made s Ă´ and ÙÚ a nice pai of socks me.' Ă˜ h < + + <=> O PQR => Ă?; l bad N N + ?e ; STUeT n e e ) . If s fails S 'And VV didn' ) k a lo o UĂ€ Ă‚ < s + +? We had home.' As ; => 4e a s of ] ? L - ) socks and simpl add 'and ĂľWĂľn opened Ă­ĂŽĂŻĂ° * s ?' and + p e + s off. No e l Ă­ĂŽĂŻĂ° s be one of gif c doom. Go home and ge ) k and enjoX +f ).

The story continues.

Christmas Carol II 'God rest ye merry gentlemen, Let nothing thee dismay, Remember Christ our Saviour Was born on Christmas Day...'

Z[ ][ _ ab p p i Y \\\ ^ ` c`d' said efghh e jo kle mno d in qrsrot u x p w 'a kv e of peace and qnn mv l ko all men. Happiness }~ rro p to and ynz {. He | d €l v z k o kle ensemble of € nl  vsqros in kle  k orrk belom andu his lrtok lighk mvk h kle kln‚qlk of mltk m ts k o comeu he closed kle x mvs nm and began k o change foo bed. p Ik had been rƒt€k z a zrto since kltk „ tk r„ ‚l svqlk . †‡ pprt toprz and kle klore The nighk Â… n his old €n q‚e ˆ ‹Œ‹Â? Š o wt ‰ s of ÂŽl v k s had opened his rzrs k o kle rÂ? vl of his Â?‘’“. He m ts a changed man. ” Well did he orwrw ro kle lnoonos of kltk nighk and • pp m t vsg kle „n nmvsg wnosvsg mvk h a nem –nz . He ›› p —˜™š ˜d qvÂ? vsg a mln e shilling k o a passing ‚o€lvsu ‚oqvsg him k o ”‚z kle biggesk ÂœÂ?žÂ&#x; Â’ he ™¥¢Â›d find as or rs o o ot t a ÂŁ  k fo dea Bob ÂŽ k€lvk . The fack kl k kle ‚o€lvn had ÂŁonwÂŁk pz o‚n off mvk h kle monez and nok ork ‚osrd did nok seem k o wtkk ro. §¨Šª§ p zt ¤¼Œ ÂŤ n l Bob ÂŽotk€lvk : €onnqe had qvÂ?rn him Ž¯°¹²³´ Â? t” ¡ ot ­ s Âľ e off. Thinking n‚k Âś ¸ ÂŽ k€lvk had also ”r or rr been off kle m k „n . Indeedu €onnqe had nok ”ro t to o seen him in kle office since mid šnÂ?rw u ÂŁ k „ nm †‡ ŸŸ½ ž ½ Âť rsro ‚ Â… n he Âş Âş d his nom q n s ÂŁtz. ÂżroltÂŁs ik p is as m r l kltk I no longeo €otÂ?e wnsrz u he kln‚qlku o tÂ? Ă Ă‚Ăƒ pvkk pe monez lefk ko €otÂ?r. fo I l e Ă€ €onnqe m otÂŁÂŁrd himself in his svqlkqnm su „vkk rd p ” his svqlk€tp ‚£nn his head and € tw rord vsko his p p x ÄÅÆm m r €nwvsg bed. He  rkk rd nm n amid his ”p •  lrrk s and ts rks and closed his rzr . Çvklvn kle ĂˆĂ‰ĂŠĂ‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŠĂ‹ g of an rzru he m ts asleep. {¾”rsrrĂŽroĂ?Ă?. ¾”rsrrĂŽro €onnqrĂ?' The Â? nv€e m ts cold and w‚ kz u like old books. Ă?ks Ă€Ă Ă‚Ăƒ  n‚sd chilled and „ onm kle €rsk oe of kle qtklrovsg 56 77 d a ptoqru • p kle bones. €onnqe tmn ru  lvÂ?rovsq. –nÂ? vtl man. He € rtord his klontk . o 89:' he said; <=>?@?A of ­Ž¯°¹²³´s Âżor rsk 'Who.. Who is vkĂ‘' 'Remembe p 'Ik is Iu ÒÓÔÕ ÂŁtok sro Jacob ˆto rz {. The  £r€k oe aB ÒÓÔÕ  roÂ? v€r. Mz t€C‚tvsk ts€rs Pask and DEFGHIĂ–Ă—Ă˜Ă™ĂšĂ› s Ă?ĂžĂ&#x; xrt pz o r kl mlvk e ComeJ I ”rpvrÂ?e z n‚ ltÂ?e tportxz KLMN' He OP°Q² Rd k o d v k o Ăœ . A smile € n  d his x lips. His chains clanked as he wnÂ?r . 'I am backu km o of kle  ltxnms wnÂ? vsg behind him. 'The Sklro ? ” Âľ rsrrĂŽro' WellT kle fellom mvk h kle blood  k tvsrd tƒe and kle {ˆtoprz! à åâãäüÌç! Whak ”ovsqs z n‚ èÊêÊ? Am I nok o o o wt VWXYZ[\VY]. Pooo dead Â? v qvn is kle ÂŹÂŁv vk of ÂŽl v k s U a x ots owr ^_` w‚ ‚ a k  Â„n d man?' . He doesn'k gek n k €h klr e tz  . Ohu and p p 'I am lroe ‚£nn a secondĂŤ wnoe vwÂŁnok tsk mission. kle vkk e fellom mvk h kle hoodb kltk {s c rk d0 ndÂŽnwr{s p f Ă­ĂŽĂŻĂ°l kltk klore l‚sxord and ùòóôþ „vÂ? e xtzs þÜá ø z ‚s ro ”o ro Yo‚ ĂŹ n q nkl u A- evkk rdĂžvk d „k rod0 ltk Ă?' f pr p pz wts r‚Â?ror tz ‚r kle  £vovk s of ÂŽlov k wts and I Â? v vk rd z n‚Ă?' n d his m On € u devkk dĂžvk  nm xp p úÝßýßÝ qotk r„ ‚pĂ?' on‚qh kle assembled qln‚p u klrn in a single 'Yesu Â? vÂ? v z u and I mv l be Ăš kl p p "Tis Good. ނku nom me ltÂ?e had a vkk e kvwe k o ghiijkJ  Â‚xxrn wnkvnn he qot””rd €onnqe bz his xro s px ¡ÿÿ s s ‚ z Ă?Ă? klv k ÂŁnn Âś . We e mn v q . if n‚ mn‚ Ă?Ă?Ă?u' bonz m ov k s and xotqqrd him klon‚qh his nm n pz x w wrs to o o kle shade seemed n k v losk fo mn  u 'if z n‚ ”rxonnm m tppĂ?Ă?. É Ă? . n k o ÒÓÔÕ old Â?‘’“ ' €onnqe fell and fell l his bodz k ‚osvsg and kmv kvsg p ”” x €onnqe m ts „ t roqt k r . 'Mz old Â?‘’“ ' he as he felk kle decades flz mnop. He  Â€orm rd qp his rzrs ˜ ™›š ˜ 'Pah! ! šrÂ?ro in a million zrto ' roo o ‚ ”r o ‚w  lo‚qqrd his k ots £torsk  ln‚pxro . 'I m ts inltok d qnon–‚s kx. „n e he landed mvk h a kl p on coldr ÙÖ Ă™ d klvs mighk happenu I knem Ă´ Ăľ  ln‚pd ltÂ?e rto rzr u kno k roov„vrd ko ”ortklru Too „ „ ‚l ko open his wo tor p w‚w”prd and mvk h an ”rsrrĂŽro o t¡ uvuw. He lrtod a  Â€orr€lvsq. been n e € „ ‚ u' he e Âľ € nnq s Âś rƒ ÂŁts vÂ?e qr k ‚oe and a otkk pe of vonswnsqrozu he m ts 'Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, J-J-J-Jingle Bells gone.

” ”p • €onnqe hid his head rsrtkh his ts rk . Whak x t w‚ r m s k o become of him? He  . Whz had Jacob r rortl mind? Whz e kle  £vovk s so changed his kl p p s damned v €ns v k rsk ? Çlz? He laz back and  nm z rzr to o ‚s closed his  u n d him kle nnm filled mvk h a  lvwwrovsg fog. rzrs snapped open. A €onm d had qtklrord ak His kle end of his bed. €onnqe looked „ onm „vq‚oe k o ' +,+ p „vq‚or. !"#"$%l of & e ())(* -.s had  k otsqr z familia/ 34 t oo s faces. 0m o had no faces ak all. 12 e m s a  kv v g

Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride In a one-one-one horse open sleigh...'

p A st‚ rtkvsq z €lrro„ ‚l Â? nv€e vsk roo‚£k rd 'and kltk p z{ } f • t z m s x ve and Jason in y | ~ vk rn and Çtkrowts{s rw Jingle Bells-The vƒ. Welcome k o ÂŹt„ r„ toe • x ‚ ‚£rowto rk ‚ovsg € ÂƒÂ„ kle lask ÂŽlov k wts of 1989. ”‚z rÂ?roz s z ‚ Please klv g n can...' p p €onnqe shook his head and or ‚€k tsk z opened his rzr . All ton‚sd him he sam goldu shining  k ortwros rw o x of goldu andu in among kl u € nm s of peopleu

x + ,+ m ts rovsg aimlesslz in all Â… *†‡ -.ˆ‰ klrvo rzrs blank pr ro to s f ” t s o ”r and  k v q. nÂ? e him he  mu v  Â€ v d in kk s x o half kle heighk of a manu kle mn s 'MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OUR CUSTOMERS.' 1234e m ts a o‚ kxpe andu „ onm behind needle clad ” nms of one of a nĂŽrn dead pine k orr u popped AŠ‹ŒŒÂ?ÂŽxÂ?Â?‹Œ . He beckoned €onnqe knm toxs him. ‘onm kle rÂŁkls of his €nm l he spokeu in a Â? nv€e „ onm kle wr o to rs o wt edge of kv . ' {Âľ e me e kl u son. ÂŽl v k s x švsrkrrn ’‚s ord and Âľvqlkz Nine. This“ me old wtk ru p t o wt is ml k ÂŽl v k s mv l become.' ””r t ot d €onnqr{s mvĂŽrsrd tom and Çvk h kl ku he q xot r p‚w”ro s s qq d him v ko kle v g mass of l‚wtsvkz. otÂ?rpprd  mv„k pz u €onnqe had seldom wnoe kltn The” k a glimpse of mltk m ts happening ton‚sd him. ނk mltk a glimpse ik m t Ă?. ts p xor  rd z n‚sg mnwrsu selling He sam  Â€ kv z \[[– W • s of scenk kpxo baldingu  m rtkvsg middle aged men. He sam €lv orn „vqlkvsg — kvsz wt‚Â?e knz x ” x lno r . He sam a nĂŽrn fak mlvk r- rto rd menu all ]–\[XWd in ord and all  ln‚kvsg 'Ho! Ho! Ho!' x r sÂ?ro tkvns : ˜™š›œ And kle  n‚s  u kle  ln‚k d €n wnklro mn‚pd ltke vk Ă?Ă?. Ă?k {pl srÂ?ro lask Â?žÂ&#x; l Nem ¥¢£¤¼¼. to” I WANT a Ăž ve Doll.' x o tor € nnqe  k d blanklz ak kle milling €onm  . šrÂ?ro ro s r ro z ‚ had he seen so man people  Â„„ v g knq kl . This m ts ÂŽlov k wt Ă?Ă?. ÂŽlov k wt Ă?Ă?. xtz p t • vqlk  k ortwvsg in on him He mn e mvk h kle ”rxo x o ‚ kl n qh kle nnm mvs nm . Ik m ts ÂŽlov k wts ÂŚtz. srto”z ln‚ r u people e tportxz tm t•ru In kle Š ÂŞ p­g kle ”vokh of ÂŽlov k . €onnqe Ž¯°¹² off his ¨ ¨ ÂŤn § ³´¾œ¡¸šº´s andÂť  knowvs”g ko kle mvsxnmu slammed ik ortklu and ak kle knp of his open. He knnk a deep Â? nv€e ”tm prd {ÂŽlov k wt ! HUMBUG!'. Page 17

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This Interdisciplinary resej ch centres at IC Yfeek FELIX investigates the semiconductor IRC at Imperial

st-

¼ ¾¿¼ À¾Á¿ÃÄÂü ÄÅÃŽ¼ ¿ÅÆl ÄÆü¿a ¼ÇƼ ÅIÃÈisɽ¼a¿Ê½ andofacademia ǾÉË ÍΠľ¿ Ê ¼ ¾Ï¼Ç¿ and i¼ Ð Æs a¼ leas½¼ ÑÆ¿d¼ÅÆÌËËÊ Ðkż h ¼ÇÅes inclosel mind ¼ÇƼ ¼Çe Òü ¿ÈŽÓÅÑËÅÃÆ¿Ê Ô½ÂÆ¿Óh ÕÂü ¿Âs (IRCsl Ö×Øe¼ Ù ¾¿ÄÂÈ. ßßThese Æ¿âe ËÆ¿ÏÂÚ ÉÃÇÅÁ ¿½Å¼Ê- based ÛÓÂà ¿Âs of ÜÝÞÜ ÜàÞÜ' á ãäe ¿Â½ÂÆ¿Ó Â¿s Ù¿¾m a ÐÅÈe ¿ÆÃÏe of åÆÓæÏ¿¾ÉÃÈs can ÌÍÎk ¼ ¾Ï¼Ç¿ on Ó¾ÄÄ¿ÓÅÆËËÊ Á ÅÆåËe Ñ¿¾ç ÂÓ¼ ½. Theè Ð ÅËl do no Ç. Ù ÉÃÈÆÄÂüÆl ÛåËɼ é½æÊ ½' ¿Â¼Ç½ÂÆ¿Ó ¼ ¼Ç ¾Á¿ÃÄÂÃ Æ Â½e ÓÂü ¿Âs Ð ÅËl be The À hopes ¼ ¼ ¼Ç ë ìí îí ðñòó ľ¿ É able o make Å È ¼ Å ½e of e êÇÅê ê eÅ Åï¼ c ¼¼ e¼ efficien moneÊ and Æ ¿ÆÓ Ã É½ ¿ Æl ½Ñ¾Ã½¾¿½ Ñ. ô à ½ ¿s õöõn claim ¼ÇƼ ¼Çe ÓÂü ¿Âs Ó¾ÉËd become self üýþÿ. ÷øùùúû ¼Ç ¼ ¼Ç ×Ø Å¿ ¼ ľ¾¼Âd In e Ð o ÊÂÆ¿s since e IRCs Ö e Ù ½ Å ¼ Ç ¼ ¼ ÆÁ ¼Ç¿Â ÂÁÂà  n e been se e of m a ÒÄÑ¿ Æl ½ ¼ ¿¾Ó Ӿà ¿¾ College. IC's IRCs specialise in Ñ ½s ¼ Å Ë ËÚ Å Ë Å È ¼ Ï ¾ ¾ Ӿà ¾¿ Ê ÂÄ ÉÓ Ú and ½ Å ¼ ¼ ÄÆ Â¿Ï Æ¼½. n å Ç ÆÁ õöõ ÄѾ¿ Æà ÂÃ¾É h o è The ËƿϽ¼ ¼ aeÁ Žż nÙ ¿¾been ¼Çdeemed ¿ÅÄ ÅÃÅ ¼ Ð Æ¿¿Æà m e e ô ½ ¿. The ËÈ ¼Ç ¼Ç ¼Ç ¼ ¼Ç ¿Â ¾  of e Ú and¼ Å eË ¼ ÈŽ Ú is¼ e IRC fo¿ Æ Â¿ Æ ½. Ò s ¿ÂÓ ¾¿ is ¿¾Ù ½½¾¿ ô ¾ÊÓ e . ¿¾  ¾¿ ¾ÊÓ Ûs Ï¿¾Ép is based in ÒÄÑ¿ÅÆËÛs Ù ½½ ! Ç Å ¼ È ¼ ¼ Ë¼Ç Ï ¼ s and Õ ÂÄ ½ ¿Ê ÂÑÆ¿ ÄÂà s Æ ¾É h i #$%&'( ¿Â ÂÆ¿ÓÇ¿ ¾¿æÅÃg a¼ )ÃÅÁ ¿½Å¼Ê CollegeÚ " s ½ sÐ ÉÂÂn ôÆ¿Ê College and a¼ Ð ÇƼ has been ȽӿÅåÂd * ÈÏ ¼ -. /¾¿È ¼ as 'a small +, + ' in 01Ù . I has a åÉ Â of 233 56 ¼ million and a ½ ÆÙ f of Æ¿¾ÉÃd 4 748 academics. ¼ o be 9:;<= Åü ¿ÈŽÓÅÑËÅÃÆ¿Ê ¿¾ÉÈËÊ The IRC Ñ GHIJKL K ÅÃÁ¾ ËÁ ÅÃg >?@ABCBAD Aclaims OP QRO $ (#T T and EF MN Ü lS " V WX YZ[\ Å ¼ ¼Ç¾¿Â¼ÅÓÆ"Sl s and Ï Ã¿ ¾ Âà UU c s in å h Â1 Ñ¿ÅÄÂü Æl ]^_`. Theia aim is ¼ o Ñ¿¾ÈÉÓe Ó¾ÄÄ¿ÓÅÆËËÊ Á ÅÆåËe ½ÂÄÅÓ¾ÃÈÉÓ¼ ¾¿ ÈÂÁ ÅÓÂs a feРƼ¾Äs Ð ÅÈÂÚ ÆÓÓɿƼ ÂËÊ and Рżh ¼Çe ˾Р½¼ possible ËÂÁÂl of ÅÄÑɿż Ž. cd ÄƼ ¿ÅÆË ÉÓ s ½ h as Silicon b b and ÅÈ Ç fgghi ¿ ÆÁ ¿ É Â Âà e mj ½ e been ½ d fo decades ¼ÇÅà ¿¾e (GaAs) ¼Ç k ¼ ¿Æà Š¼ ¾¿ ¼ ¼Ç ½È ½ ¼ o e mos¼ in ÂÁÂ¿Ê g Ù m e simples íì Å pq mno Ӿà ÂÄ ÉÓ ¾¿ ¿Â½ÂÆ¿Óh is l lê d 'silicon chip'. r ¼Ç Ƽ¼ ¿ÆÓ¼ÅÁe ÅÃÁ½¼ ÄÂü. sellable and e IRC hopess an ¼ ÅÄѾ¿¼Æü ¼ ÂÓÇÃÅtÉe ɽÂd bÊ ¿¾Ù ½½¾¿ The mos ¾ÊÓ ¿¾É Ûs À p is ô¾ËÂÓÉËÆ¿ Beam uÑż Æ1Ê (MBE)Ú a ļǾd fo¿ Ï¿¾Ð ÅÃg ËÆÊ¿s of ÄƼ ¿ÅÆl as Ëż¼Ëe as one Ƽ¾m in ¼ÇÅÓæýs on ¼Çe ½É¿Ù ÆÓe of a slice of wxyz{|}~z { Ó¿Ê ¼ ÆË ¼ ¿ÂËÅ v ½ . I ¼ s fo¿ żs ÂÙÙÅ ÂÓ¼ÅÈÁ Âà½s Ë ¼Ç ¼ÅËÅ ¼ Æ Æ ¾Äs of ½ÂÄ Ó¾Ã ÉÓ¼ ¾¿. Á¾ Ê on e of single ¼ÅÏǼËÊ held in placeÚ ½ÉÓh as in a Ó¿Ê ½¼ Æl Unless ¼Ç Ƽ ¾Ä s can easilÊ be dislodged. So n ½e Ƽ¾m ½¼ ¿ÅæÂs ¼Çe ¼ ƿϼ i¼ Ð ÅËl þ¿ÄÆËËÊ ½ÉÓh an ¿Âå¾ÉÃÈ. I¼ l onlÊ ½¼ÅÓk if i¼ lands in Â1 ÆÓ¼ËÊ ¼Çe ¿ÅÏǼ ¼ ¼ ¼ Ë place o Ù ¾¿m ÑÆ¿ of a Ó¿Ê ½ Æ . È ¼Ç ¼ ¼ ¿ÂÆ Â¿ ÂÆ Ê ½ m of Ƽ ¾Ä½ Çż¼ÅÃg ¼Çe e is a ½ ¼ Æ¿Ifϼ man Ê Ð ÅËl ¿Âå¾ÉÃd åɼ a feÐ Ð ÅËl ½¼ÅÓk and a ËÆÊ¿ of neÐ ÄƼ¿ÅÆl Ð ÅËl ½Ë¾Ð ËÊ Ù ¾¿Ä. BÊ changing ¼Çe ½¾É¿Ó Ƽ ¾Ä½Ú ËÆÊ¿s of ÈÅÙ٠¿Âü ÄƼ¿ÅÆËs can e of ÅË ¼ É É be å ÑÚ one on ¼ ¾p of Æþ¼Ç¿. ËÅ ¼ È ËÅ ¼ ¿ÂÆ Ê MBE is ÄÉÓh ľ¿e Ó¾ÄÑ ÓÆ Â . The In È JLJ ¼ s can onlÊ ÌÍÎk Éà ¿ clean F s a ¼Ç ¿Â ¡ Æ Æ¿Æ¼ É ÄÉ ¼ É¿Â loÐ Ñ ½½ ½Ú so all e l ÑÑ Å¼ ÇŠ˼ ¼Å Çs ½ be Ó¾Ã Æ ÃÂd Ð n an É ¿Æ- high ÁÆÓÉÉm Ó ÆÄå¿. Ƽ¾Äs Æ¿e Ñ¿¾ÈÉÓÂd bÊ ÇÂƼÅÃg samples The beams of ËË Å ¼ ¼ ¼ Å of ÄÆ Â¿ Æl in small ¾ÁÂÃs and Æ ¾Ð Ãg Æ ¾Äs o ÈÅÙ٠ɽe ¾É¼. Unde¿ ½ÉÓh loРѿ½½É¿Â½Ú an ÅÃÈÅÁ ÅÈÉÆl

Page 20

Ƽ¾m can easilÊ ¼ ¿ÆÁÂl ¼Çe half ļ¿e o¿ so Ù ¿¾m ¼Çe £¤ ¼ ¼Ç ¼ ƿϼ ¢ n o e Рż Ǿɼ colliding Рż h Æþ¼Ç¿

¼Çe ÄƼ ¿ÅÆl o¿ Â1 Ó½s õêõëìí Ù ¿¾m ¼Çe ¼Ç É¿¿¾Éà If e ½ y ÈÅ}ÃÏ ½Ú a ËfeÏÐ Ð ÅËl ÏÇÆËмÇÆÊ s escape. Ë ¦§¨©ª«¬ ¼ wx z{| { Æ¿ ¿ÆÁ ¿Â ÂÃ¾É Â ~z ¥ . Ú ¼ ½¼e canË lÙ Ê ¼ ÉÆËËÊ Ú a ÃÉÄå¿ of ½ÂÑƿƼe ¾ÁÂÃs Æ¿e ­®¯°± each vin all îBïðCDBñòA EisÆË˾ÐeÅÃg a ÓÉ¿¿Âà ¾  ÂÓ )½ ÈÅ ¼ ¼ Šż ¼Ç ¼Å ¼Ç ÈÅ o ÙÅ Ð . In ÙÙ Ú of Ù٠¿Âà ÄÆ Â¿ Æl and Ð h Ñ¿¾Á ÅÈÅÃg a Çbeam e solid Ó¾Ã Æ Ãs a ¿ÂÂé ÄÂý ¾ÃÆl 'gas' of Ë ¼¼ ¼ ¼ ¼Ç ¼Ç ¼ Ë ¼ Ӿà ¿¾ ¾ É Â¿  ÂÓ ¿¾Ã½. mechanical ½ s o . In e mids ´µ ¼Ç ¼ ƿϼ Ç ¼ l e Ù¼ ÐÈÅË ¿¾¼ ƼÂd ¼o ¼ ¼ È ¼ Šż Å of all ² ³ ¶ e is ÂÆ Âd and ½ ÂÆ Ê gas is no a Ñ¿٠ÂÓ Ó¾Ã ÉÓ ¾¿: ÄÑÉ¿ Âs and ËÆThis ¼Ç ¼ ¼ Âýɿe an õöõn ӾƼÅÃÏ. Ó¿Ê Æ Æ ¾ÄÅc Á Åå¿Æ¼Å¾Ãs can deflec¼ Ù Ð ½ s in e l and ¼ ÇÅ Ç ¼ ÏǼ Ë ¾Ä Ó ¿ ¿Â ¾Éà ÆÁ ÓÆÉ ¼Ç ¼ ¿¾Ã  ÂÓ ÂÁ ÅÓ j s Ð h miss o å d . and sloÐ e Ù¿¾m ÅÄÑÉ¿e ÇÅ ¼Ç ËË e o¼Çbe y } Å ¼ Ž. ÅÎË Ë s made ô ¼Ç This is ÆÓ ÂÁÂd bÊ cooling e Ð Æ s of e chambe¿ vwx z{| ~z { Æ¿e à ¿ ý Ó Ê ½ ¾Ð ¿ ó õn ¾½e made ż ¿¾ÏÂÃ: a¼ ¼Ç½e ¼ ÂÄÑ¿Ƽ É¿Â½Ú Æ¼¾Äs ¿¾ ɿ¿ ÄƼ ¿ÅÆË Ð ÅÇżh ËÅt¼ÉÅÅæd Ã¼Ç . Ù mÑ Ó ¿ ÆËË ¼ÅÓæ ¿Â Ç ¼ øù Ð hº ½ ½ e ¼ÇÅ eÐ s½ . MBE has enabled ½ÂÆ¿Ó Â¿s o ö÷ d slices of ÑÉ¿e Ë È ËÅ ¼ ¼ yz{|}~z { ç É ¼ ¸¹ »¼ ¾ à õöõ ÆÊ¿ Æ ¾Ä ÓÆ Â wx Ƽ¾Äs Ð ÅÈÂ. Unde¿ ¼Ç½e · ga s is a Ë ¼ ¼ Ú n Ë ¼of ¼Çe v JLJ ¼Ç Ë ½ ¼ a feÐ ¼ Å ¼ balancing ÆÓ . A beam of  ÂÓ ¿¾Ãs ¿ÂÙ ÂÓ Âd off e F s e  ÂÓ ¿¾Ãs Æ¿e Ӿý ¿Æ ÃÂd o ľÁe in Ë ÆÓ ÀÁ ¼ Â1 ÆÄÅà ż ¼ ¿ÉÓ¼ É¿ ¼ ¼ ¼ É¿ ¾ ¿¾  ÂÓ sample's ½ Ù e can be ¿ d o This o is an n gas a Ð o dimensional ¼Ç ¼ ¼ ¼Ç ¾ÁÂÃs ande ¼Çse½samplee Âa Ëplane. ÂÓ¼ ¿¾n gas (2DEG) Рż h ż s ¾Ðn special Ñ¿¾Ñ¿¼Å½. and e ÂÄÑÂ¿Æ É¿Âs of e ÆÈçɽ¼Âd ¼o ÏÅÁe ¼Çe bes¼ ¿Â½É˼ ½. ÂÊ ÑÅÓÆËËÊ Ú a single BÊ åÉÅËÈÅÃg a ËÆÊ¿ of a ÑÉ¿e ½ÂÄÅÓ¾ÃÈÉÓ¼ ¾¿ on ¼¾p Å Ë Å ÅË Ó¾ ¼ ¼ MBE machine ½ s å РÂÂn 2ÃÄ5 million and Å1 of ÄÑÉ¿e  ÂÓ¼ ¿¾Ãé¿ Óh ÄƼ ¿ Æ Ú i¼ is possible ¼o È ¼ ÅË ¼ Å ¼ ¼ Å â million o åÉ d and can laÊ ¾Ð n ÄÆ Â¿ Æl a a ¿Æ e confine ¼Çe 2DEG ¼o ¼Çe cleane¿ ¿ÂÏ ¾n á ãäe ¼Çe Å Ë ¼ Ë Ë Æ ¾Ä ÆÊ¿ ¼ ¿¾Ã ľÁ ľ¿ ¿Â  ÂÓ Ê of one neÐ c a second. The IRC Å ¼ ¾¿ ¿Â½ÂÆ¿ÓÇ¿s plan ¼o Åý¼ ÆËl ¼Ð o o¿ ¼Ç¿Âe neÐ MBE ÈÂÁ ÅÓÂÚ ½sÉÓcan ¼Ç e eË Ù¼ ¿¾ . ¾A ÅËÅ2DEG ¼ ¿ÆÃbased h as e High u ÂÓ n ô å Ê Â ½ ½ ÅË Å ¼ ¼Ç ¼ ¿Â ¾Ã Æ Æ Â¿ machines. (HEMT)ú Ð l s simple¿ ¼Â¿ÑÆ¿¼ åɼ a½Ñ ¼ a Ñd¿ÅÓÂÙ . ½ûüýþe isna limi ¼ on ¼Çe ¿Â ÂÆ¿Óh l äãÉÊËÉe Æ¿¾ÉÃd ÆÓÇÅÂÁÅÃg ¼Çe Ó¾Éà ÇÈ Æ h IRC ½ Ë Ì Â¿ ¾¿ÄÆÃÓ ¿¾ ¼Ç ¼ ¼Å ¼ Ç Æ Â¿ÃÆ Á ì ¼Ç ÂËÂÓ¼ ¿¾Ã ÆľÉà Ó õ ê õ ë ÆÁ  1 bes Ñ Ù e gasof Å MBE and e żŠ¼ ËË eÏÙ m ǽs ÅË í e ¼ ¼s can ¼ e andÚ based ôÂ Æ o 0¿ Æà c Chemical Í ÆѾɿ ÎÂѾ½ ¾n as õêõëìí is ÂÆÁ Ê dependan on ÂÄÑÂ¿Æ É¿ÂÚ a ¼ Æ ÅË ÇÆÁe a Ð ÅÈe ¿ÆÃÏe of ÄÆ1ÅÄÉ ¼ÂÄ Â¿Æ¼ É¿ Âʾà ÇÅÓ ¼Ç ÈÂÁ ÅÓ ÅË (MOCVD). The IRC ½ Ù f Ð l eÐ l æÅ ¼ m` Ñ ¼Å e å d Ð Ç h e ÐÑÒÓÔÐ Ö×ØÙ ÚÙÛÜÚÝ ¼ ÂÓÇÃÅtÉ ¼ ¼ÇÂÅ¿ d and Õ d sa disposal no ]^_ . ¿ÆÓ ÓÆl HEMTs ÆÁ e a Ð ¾¿ Ãg Ï Õ Å È Å Å Å ËËÅ ¼ ¼ Ï Ë Å ¿Æà Ãg Ù¿¾m high ÂÙ Ã ¾n scanning ÉÃàÃg ¼ÂÄÑ¿Ƽɿe nea¿ 4 ÿ Á Ã. ÄÅÓ¿¾½Ó¾ÑÊ ¼o Ó¾ÄÑɼ ¿ modelling. ÆÃÈ ÅÓÇ ½ Ð s can be ¿ÀÁd ¼Å¼o ÑË ¿¾ËÈÉÓÏ e Å È Ë ¼ ¼ ¼ Å Å Ë Ã¾¿ÄÆ Ó¾Ã ¾¿ ¿¾Ã Æ¿ ÂÄ ÉÓ Â ÂÓ ¼ ¼ Ä Ã Æ Æ ýþ Ó¾Ä Æ¿Æ ÁÂ Ê Æ¿ É¿ Éà¿ In a l ½ mos s e ¼ÅÏÇ¼Ë Ê Þßàád ¼o ¼Çe â !; ãäåæçæèé ÈÉe ¼o ÅÄÑɿżÅÂs ÈÅÙ٠¿ÂÃÓee å¼Ðd ½n ¼Ç½.eûüÂÿeÏisÅÂsa of åѾÉÃd ÂËÂÓ¼ ¿¾Ães in

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and ¾½e of e Ù ¿Âe  ÂÓ ¿¾Ãs so n an  ÂÓ ¿¾n ÅË Ë D ¼Ç ì is C > ïðî' õêõë í Ð l be ¿Â ÂƽÂd in e Ù ¾¿m of a ¿ ËÆ¿Ïe slab of ÄƼ ¿ÅÆËÚ ¼ÇÅs õêõëìí . Fo a ÈÅÙ٠¿ÂÃÓe is Ù Å1 Âd andÚ as ¼Çe Ù ¿ÂtÉÂÃÓÊ of ligh¼ is ÅË ¼ ¼Ç Ǿ¼ ¾ ¼Ç Ǿ¼ ¾Ã o eÑ e dÑ sÐ l ÇÆÁe da Ó¿ ¼ ÆÅn n . È ¼Ç ¼ÇÅ æ ¼Ç As e Ó Ã½s of e slab ÂÓ¿ÂÆ½Â½Ú a ÃÉÄå¿ ÈÅ ÈÅ Ë Ë½' Ù ¾¿Ä. uËÂÓ¼ ¿¾Ãs ¼Å ¼ ¼ ÃÓ Ó¿Â õ êõëì ÂÁ of ½ ½ e í Û ø ùýþ ¼  Ȋ¿Âü ËÂÁÂË Ç¾¼¾Ãs ¿¾È g å Ð n ÙÙ s can Ñ ÉÓe Ñ ÈÅ ¼ ¼ ¼ ¼ Ӿà Æà ¿Â tÉÂÃÓÅ ¿ÂÃ É of ÙÙ å ½ Ù ¼¼ ½. The slab Ð ÅËl ¼ ¿ ¾ ¼ Éàbecome a o be seen Ë ¼ d lase Å almos o bÊ an  ÂÓ ¿¾n Ä Ó¿¾½Ó¾ÑÂ. ¾¼Ç¿ ¼ ÂÓÇÃÅtÉÂs i¼ is possible ¼o ÙÉ¿¼Ç¿ Using ¼ ¼Ç Ë ¼ ¼Ç ÂËÂÓ¼ ¿¾ e n gas o make e  ÂÓ ¿¾Ãs floÐ ¿ÆÑÅÈËÊ along one dimensional Û*ÉÆüÉm !"#$%' o¿ hold ¼ÇÂm Ù Å1 Âd in Û*ÉÆüÉm &'()' ¼o ö÷øùd p lmnoíìlêpqd ÄÉ˼ÅéËÆÊ¿Âd ÓÅ¿ÓÉżs on ¼Çe scale of Ƽ ¾Ä½. ÅË ÇÆÁ * ¼ Ó¾ÄÄ¿ÓÅÆl ¿Â Mos IRC ½ÂÆ¿Óh Ð l e an ÂÁÂà ÉÆl È ¼ ¼ ¼ÇƼ ¿¾ ¿¾ ¾¿ ÉÓ É Â ,end Ñ å Ù ½½Å¼ + ¢Å e does no¼ åÂÏËÅÂÁe¼Ç ¼ //012 3145 ¿ ÄÆ¿Ê Æ¿ É finding . . s is s Ñ aim. He s Æ Å ¼Ç Ç ¼Ç ¾Ã ¾¿ à ÆÁ Ê Â 1 ¿ÅÂÃÓ onl e ½Ñ ½ g companies e e Ñ e ÃÂÓ½½Æ¿Ê fo¿ ¼ÇŽ. He sees ¼Çe IRC as Ó¾ËËÆ徿ƼÅÃg Ãg fo¿ ÅÃÈɽ¼ ¿Ê. À¾Á¿ÃÄÂü Рżh ¿Æ¼Ç¿¼ ¼ÇÆn Ð ¾¿æÅ Å ÈÅ ¼ Ë e ÄÄÂ Æ Â Ê Ñ¿Â½½É¿eY \ o ÅËmake ¼¼Çe ÏËÌÍÎk Å ¼Ä¾¿ È WZ66 W 7 ¿¾Ã ¿Â Ê Â U l Ð l be ½ . ¼ÇƼ ¼Çe 23½3 ½million Ñ¿¾ÁÅË ÅÈÇÂd мÅËl No-one is claiming ¼ ¼Ç ¼Ç Ï ¾¿ ÍÎ ¿¾É É e p Ð l ÆÁe o ½ ÑÑ all¼Ç e IRC's Ì k and 9ý ÿ hkh ? B look fo¿ ¾ ¿ ½¾É¿ÓÂs of 8 øþ þ . :; <h => @A ÎC maÊ Ë Å ¼Ç ¼ ¿¾Ã Ó ÆË¿ÂÆÈÊ Â ÂÓ Ê helpD e s compan Phillips is ELJ Ê g an MBE machine. Some cash ma come Ù ¿¾m ¼Çe ÁƿžÉs uÉ¿¾ÑÂÆn Õ¾ÄÄÉÃÅ¼Ê Ñ¿¾ç ÂÓ¼s åɼ

¼Çe Æ¿Âa of mos¼ Åü ¿½¼ Äɽ¼ be Japan. ¼Ç ¼Ç Ç Å ¼ Unlike e UKÚ e Japanese ÆÁe ÃÁ½ Âd Âþ¿Ä¾É½ËÊ in ¿Â½ÂÆ¿Óh in ¿ÂÓÂü ÊÂÆ¿½. FGHIJKLe in Ë È Ç Japan Ð o can do ¿Â½ÂÆ¿Óh is Æ ¿ÂÆ Ê doing so and Ç ¼ Æà ľ¿ ÍÎ Æ¿ ¾É¼ ½ÅÈÂ. companies Ð o Ð e Ì k e looking MN ÅË ¼Ç ¼ ¼ ¼Ç ¿¾ ¾¿ Æ Â , Ù ½½ + ¢ e hopes 9 = Ð l look o e IRC. ¼ ¼ ¾o ÄÉÓh The Japanese maÊ no need ¼ ¼Ç ÂÃӾɿÆÏÂÄÂà . In 1992 e ÄÉÓh ÁÆÉüÂd uÉ¿¾ÑÂÆn ÄÆ¿æ¼ Ð ÅËl become an economic ¿ÂÆËÅ¼Ê and i¼ single ľ¿e ÈÅÙÙ ÅÓÉ˼ fo¿ companies ¾É¼½ÅÈe l become ¼ Ó¾Ä É¿¾ u Ñe o Ѽ Â. Of Ӿɿ½ÂÚ if Japan becomes a ¿ ÅÃÁ½¼¾¿ in :;hkh<h ¿Â½ÂÆ¿ÓÇÚ i¼ Ð ÅËl no¼ be ¾É¼½ÅÈe majo anÊ Ä¾¿Â. ¼ ¼¼ The concep of an IRC is onlÊ Æå¾É Ð o ÊÂÆ¿s old Ë È Å¼ Å Å ¼ Æ ¿ÂÆ ¿ Ê and i has come in fo some Ó¿ Ó ½Ä. The ¿ÂÓÂü 'Flemming ÔÂѾ¿¼' Ð Æs OPQRQOSl of ¼Çe Ð ÆÊ ¼Çe ÓÂü ¿Âs Ö×Øe se¼ p TUV WUX êllmYZì[g ¼o ¿¾Ù ½½¾¿ ¾ÊÓ ¼ Æ ÛtÉże Ù ÆÁ¾É¿ÆåËÊ disposed' ¼o ¼Çe IRCs ËÆÉ¿ÂƼe Dennis Noble of ¼Çe rÆÁe ¼ÇÂĽÚÂiËÁн.sNobel ËÅ ¨©« ;hkh< : h Science campaign is openlÊ \]^ ¬. He å ÂÁÂs ¼Ç Ƽ IRC ¿Â½ÂÆ¿Óh is ¾Á¿éӾü ¿¾ËËÂd and ¼ÇƼ Â1¼ÂÃÈÅÃg ¼Çe idea Ù É¿¼Ç¿ Ó¾ÉËd damage _¿Å¼ Žh Science. ÅÓ¾ÃÈÉÓ¼ ¾¿ IRC is ÉÃÈ¿ a ÊÂÆ¿ old and has The rÂÄ ` ¼ ¼Ç¿ ¼Ç¿Âe ÊÂÆ¿s åÂÙ ¾¿e i¼ is ÈÉe ¼o be Æþ a leas ¼ Å ¼Ç ¼ ¼ ÅË ¿ÂÓÂÅÁe assessed. If i ½É¿Á Á Âs e assessmen i Ð l ÈÅ ¼ ¼Ç ¼ ¾Á¿ÃÄÂà à ¿ Æþ ¾É¿ Éà ¿ ÊÂÆ¿ g fo s åÉ Ù ¿¾m À Ù Ù ¼Ç Ân on i¼ Ð ÅËl ÇÆÁe ¼o be self ½ÉÑѾ¿¼ÅÃg o¿ fade a ab. ¼ ¼ ¼Å ¼Ç ¼ÇƼ Ðe finallÊ I maÊ no be Éà l e mid 1990s ÈÅ Ç ¼Ç ¼ ¼Ç Ó¾Á¿ ¿  ¿  1 ¿ÅÄÂü o no e IRC Ñ has been ½ Ð a ½ÉÓÓ½½.

ÅÃÈɽ¼ ¿ÅÆËŽÂd Ó¾Éü ¿ÅÂs Ð ÅËl ÇÆÁe ¼ o c ¿ÂÈÉÓe ÓÆ¿å¾n Èž1ÅÈe emissions bÊ ¼Ç¿ÂÂétÉÆ¿¼Â¿s bÊ ¼Çe ÊÂÆ¿ 2030 ÆÓÓ¾¿ÈÅÃg ¼ o a ¿ÂÓÂü ¿ÂѾ¿¼. The ¿ÂѾ¿¼Ú Ù¿¾m ¼Çe defghijkgelmenod Òü¿ÃƼžÃÆl ¿¾çÂÓ¼ ¼ Å Ë ¼ ¼Ç ¼ fo¿ rɽ Æ ÃÆå e uÆ¿ h Æ ½Ú Ñ¿¾Ñ¾½Âs a ½Ê ½ Âm of ÓÆ¿å¾n Èž1ÅÈe ÛåÉÈϼ ½ÛéËÅÄż s on ¼Çe ÆľÉü of ¼Çe ËË È ÇÅ ¼ ¼ gas Ð Óh anÊ one Ó¾Éà ¿Ê is Æ ¾Ð Âd o Ñ¿¾ ÉÓÂ. È Ç ¼ Ï ¿Â ¿¾ ¾ ÂÆ¿Ó Â¿ É Â The ½ of 300 å ¼ ¾ÃÃÂ½Ú splisp ÂÑtÉÆÑËËʽeåÂa¼Ðglobal ÂÂn gkqrns jgefgnod and billion u Vvwx Ó¾Éü ¿Å g t ½. Each Ó¾Éü ¿Ê ÐÈÅËl ËÅÇÆÁe ¼a tË É¾Çż¼a ż « ¨© based on s ¥]¥y ¦ ]z. The scheme  åÂ¿Æ Â Ê s ¼Çe Ð ÂÆ˼ ÇÅ¿ ÅÃÈɽ¼ ¿ÅÆËŽÂd Ó¾Éü ¿ÅÂs ÇÆ¿d Ð ÇÅËe ||}~ ¼Ç ÈÂÁÂ˾ Åà Р¾¿Ëd 25 ÊÂÆ¿s åÂÙ¾¿e i¼ has ¼{o makeg ½Â¿ežÉs ¿ÂÈÑÉÓg¼Å¾Ã ÅË ¼Å ¼ ¼Ç ¼ ¼Ç ½Å. È ¼ Å ËÅ ¼ ¼Å I is ½ ÄÆ Âd Æ e à ɽ ¿ Æ ½Âd ÃÆ ¾Ãs Ð l ÇÆÁe ¼o ¿ÂÈÉÓe ¼ÇÂÅ¿ emissions bÊ 20% bÊ 2005 50% ÅÏ ¼Ç ¼ bÊ 2015 and 75% bÊ 2030. The Ù É¿Âs ƽ½ÉÄe Æ Å ¼Ç Ú Ö×ÙÛÜ ¿ÆÅ ¾¿Â ¼ ÃÓ¿ÂÆ Ê e l n Ù ½ s can onl e an ½e ¼Ç ¿Å ¿ ¿ ¼Ç of 0.1 C pe decadeÚ if e ½e is anÊ highe e Å Ë ËÅ Å ¼ ¾Ã½ å e fo¿ ¿ÂÓÊÓ Ãg and ¿ÂľÁ Ãg ÄÉÓh Ù ¾¿Â¼Ç½ ½Ú ¿Â½Ñ ¾¿ËÈ Ûs ÓÆ¿å¾n Èž1 ÅÈÂÚ Ð ÅËl ½¼Æ¿¼ ¼o die ¾É¼. of e ÉÆüÉm c РƼ ÓÇÂd ËѾ¼¼ ÚË a *¼ÇÅ ÅË ¼ Æ ¾ þ Ãg if Ê Â É Â Ê Mechanical ½ ½ m Ð l do å½ Â1 ÆÄÅÃÂd closelÊ ÂþÉÏÇ. This ÆÑÑÆ¿Âü } } æþ { Ðn as ¼Ç5e *ÉÆüÉm Zeno Æ¿ÆȾ1 Ú æ þ has been Ðn of in 4 78 fo¿ decades. NoÐ ¿Â½ÂÆ¿ÓÇ¿s a¼ ¼Çe ÜÚÙÖ Ül Òý¼Å¼É¼e of r¼ÆÃÈÆ¿Ès and ËÈ Ë È ¼ Ç TechnologÊ (NIST) in _¾É Â¿Ú Õ¾ ¾¿Æ o claim o ÆÁe Â1 Ñ¿ÅÄÂü Æl ÂÁ ÅÈÂÃÓÂ. ÅËËÅ Å ¼Ç The NIST m Â1 ÆÄ ÃÂd ½ÂÁ¿Æl ¾É½ÆÃd å¿ Ém ç ¼Å ¼ ¼ ¼Ç ¼ Ï ÄÆ Ã ¿Æ É ÂÓ Â Â ions held in a ¼ c p and ½ å d m o a 256 millisecond åÉ¿½ of a o Ù ¿ÂtÉÂÃÓÊ field. This ! ÇÆÁ ¿ÆÅ Â d e ½ d all ¼Çe ions Ù ¿¾m ¼ÇÂÅ¿ ˾Р½¼ õêõëìí ¼o ¼Çe second ˾Р½¼. The ÃÉÄå¿ of possible ¡¢ ¤ ¼Ç Ë ¼ ¼Ç in e ¾Ð ¿ l Ð Æs Ó¾Éà Âd bÊ £ ¥g Âm ¼ions ¼ ËÅÏǼ. This ¿Å ¿ÂÓÅ Ë ¼ o a å Âf flash of Ñ ½Â Ê ÉÃÂd lase Â1 Óż  ¼Ç Ƽ¾Ä ¼Ç ˾ ½¼ ½¼ Ƽe Ép Åüo ¼Çe ¼ÇÅ¿d Ëd¾Ðall½¼ . eThis ¼ÇÅs¿dinõêeõëìíÐËÂÁ ¼ Ë l is Éý Æå e ÅÈË ¼Ç ¿Æ û ¦§¦¨ ¼Ç ª«¬ õêõëì Ê and e ions Ñ y®¯ Ë ÷e ¼e © aì ¼ ¼ í as flashesË of ­ . The ÃÉÄå¿ of ¾Ð ½ õêõë í ½ Æ e ions Ó¾É d ¼Ç Ân be Ù ¾ÉÃd bÊ simplÊ Ó¾ÉüÅÃg ¼Çe flashes. ¿Â½ÂÆ¿ÓÇ¿s °±²³d ¼ÇƼ if 9MN= looked onlÊ ÆÙ¼ ¿ Ë ¼ÇeThe É Ù l 256 MmsÚ all ¼Çe ions Ö×Øe a¼¼ õêõëìí ËÂÁ ` ¼ÇlÂ2. N n ´ n 9 = 'sneeked a glimse' a 128 msÚ g ¼ ¼Ç

¶ ¼Ç ` ¼ Æ٠¿ e µ i l ·e onlÊ half e ions had made i o ËÂÁÂl ¼Å Ë ¿Â ¼ ¼Ç ¼ 2. The single look had ÂÙÙ ÂÓ Á Â Ê ½Â e ½Ê ½ ÂÄ. Å Å ¼ Ç ¼Ç ¼Ç Ó Ê e Â1 Ñ¿ ÄÂà and e In classical Ñ ½ s Â1Ñ¿ÅÄÂü¿ Æ¿e Ó¾ÄÑ˼ÂËÊ ½ÂÑ¿Ƽe åɼ in QM ¼Ç¿e Å ¼Å ¼ÇÅ is no ½ÉÓh Ãg as an ÄÑÆ¿ Æl ¾å½Â¿Á¿. ÏÂüÅÓÅ ¼ ÇÆÁ ¾Éà ¼Çce ÈÂÙ ÂÓ¼ÅÁ e gene ¼ÇÆof¼ ÓÆɽÂs½ s¸Ê Ñ¿e¼Ù¿¾ÑÅcd ÕÇ Æ¿Èż ¾Äʾ¼ÑƼÇÊ Ú ¼Çe ¼ÇÅÓæÂÃÅÃg of one½ о¿ÆËl Ïof ¼Ç¼Åe ÂÆ¿ . The ÂÆm has also Ù ¾ÉÃd an ¹ºº»¼ ¹ d Âàc ÄÆ¿æ¿ ÅÃÇ¿żÂd Рżh ¼Çe gene Ð ÇÅÓh can be ɽÂd ¼ o ¼ ¼Å åÀè n Ѿ Âà Æl ½ÉÙ٠¿¿½. Ó˾ÉÈs maÊ ÆÓÓ¾Éü fo¿ p ¼ o c Å Ë ¼Ç of Å ¼ ¼ Ë ÏÅ ¼ 15% of ¿Æ ÃÙ Æ l in e USSRÚ r¾Á  Ä ¾¿¾ ¾ ½ s ÇÆÁe claimed. SeedingÚ ¼Çe ¼ ÂÓÇÃÅtÉe of ½Ñ¿ÆÊ ÅÃg ÔÂà ż ¿ÂÆÏÂü Æ¿¾ÉÃd Ð ÇÅÓh РƼ ¿ Á Ïs Ð h a chemical æþÐn Æå¾É¼ fo¿ ÊÂÆ¿s and can condenseÚ has been ¼Ç ¿e Æ¿e a ÃÉÄå¿ of ÓÉ¿¿Âü ¿Â½ÂÆ¿Óh Ñ¿¾Ï¿ÆÄĽ. ż ¼ ¼Å ¼ ¼Ç Some Â1 Ñ¿ s Æ¿e ½ÓÂÑ ÓÆl Æå¾É e r¾Á  claims Ä wx ¼ÇƼ ¼Ç ÅÃÓ¿ÂÆ Ó¾ÉË Æ¿¾ÉÃ Ê ½e d onl be g e d 5%. ÃʾÃe ÐÇo fancies Ð ¿Å¼ ÅÃg ¼ÇÅs Ó¾ËÉÄn c j ǾÉËd Ӿü ÆÓ¼ ÎÆÁe SmedleÊ a¼ ¼Çe FELIÉ ÆÇ È ¼ ¿ Å m½ Office.

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We wanted to know how gullible people in College were, so we rang them up to find out. What would do if somebody told you, you 'd won a Christmas hamper in a raffle you didn't know about, and what w you want in it? Of course there was also the question of the Christmas Caper... (All the 'lucky' winners actually won a bottle of wine courtesy of FELIX.)

Geoff Reeves Chief Security Officer Ă‹òĂ› Ă?

Rob Northey—Refectories Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ ĂŠ .

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Hello is Ă?Ă? Ă? MĂ’ R Ă“ Ă’Ă?Ă? ? Rob ÓÔÒĂ?Ă?Ă‹Ă• : Speaking ĂŒĂ? Ă‹ ĂŽ Ă—Ă˜ Ă‘ Ă‹ Ă‹ ĂŠ : Ă– e goĂ? some Ă’ Ă?Ă? Ă’ good Ă™ Ăšs foĂ’ ÕÔÛ. ĂœĂ?ĂžĂ&#x;Ă e Ă? Ă? ç ÚÔ n a ĂĄĂ?Ă’ âĂ?ĂŁĂ‘s hampeĂ’ äüÌ h èÊ5 Ă˜ a Ă?Ă?e HUB Office. Ă? Rob: Oh God! Ăš Ă?Ă‘Ă? do I Ă?Ă‘Ă˜e Ă?ĂŞ do foĂ’ Ă?? Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ Ă— ÔÛÍ Ă‘Ă• Ă”ĂŒ ĂŽĂŻĂ° ĂŠ : Ă–Ă? s been done Ă?Ă?Ă’ h Ă?Ă?e ĂŹ Ă’ l slips and Ă­ ĂŒĂ›òóĂ• Ă› ùË Ă› ùË Ăš Ă‘ s Ă?Ă?e Ă™ ĂŁ Ă’ Ă™ ĂŁ Ă’. Rob: JollĂ• good. Ă? ĂŒĂŒ Ăą Ă? Ă´ Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ : The Ă?Ă? Ă™g is Ăše Ă‘òĂ? ÛÑ Ă• need a lis Ă? o âĂ› ĂŁ Ă? ĂŠ Ăš Ă‹ Ăš Ă‘ ÕÔÛ Ă‘ò Ă›Ă‘ĂŒĂŒĂ• Ă‹ Ă›Ă? Ă‹ Ă‘ ÔÜ Ă? o Ăľ Ă’Ă’ s Ă? o áø l Ă?Ă? m Ă? Ă? Ă? Ă’ ĂŞ Ă’ Ăş so... Ăš Ă´ Ăś Rob: OhĂş I áø l ÕÔÛ Ăš Ă?Ă‘Ă?Ăş if ÕÔÛ send a lis ÔÚ n Ă? o âĂ” ÔÛ Ă• âĂ‹ò Ă‹ Ă‘ Ă• m Ă’ Ă? Ă’ and she'll Ă’Ă? iĂ? Ă?. Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ Ă‘ Ă‘ ĂŠ : OK Ăše mighĂ? Ă? Ă˜e Ă? o phone ÕÔÛ back on Ă?Ă? Ă? . Ă— ßÞ Ă?Ă— We Ă?Ă‘Ă˜Ă‹Ă™ Ă? goĂ? an Ă‘òĂ? ÛÑl Ăť Ă˝ Ăż Ă? s Ă›âĂ? a ĂŁĂ‘Ă?Ă? Ă‹Ă’ of ĂŒ ÜÔÚ Ă‘ Ă‹ Ă‹ Ă‘ ÔÜ g n Ăš Ă? Ă? ÕÔÛ ÚÔÛ d ĂŹĂ’ Ă’. I mean Ăľ Ă’Ă’ s Ă‘Ă˜ ÕÔÛ Ă›Ă? Ă• Ă‘ Ă?òĂ›ĂŒĂ‘ is ĂŞ Ă?e a big shop. Ăľ e goĂ? an ĂŹ Ă’Ă? Ă’Ăş foĂ’ ĂŒĂ‹ Ă‘Ă˜Ă”Ă› Ă? Ă‹ĂŽĂ‘ òĂ”Ă›ĂŒ â Ă‹ ò ĂŁĂŹ Ăş Ă’ Ă? e champagne? We d Ă?Ă’ Ă? h Ă? o Ă‘ Ă?Ă? Ă? in Ă?Ă?e . ùËòĂ‘Ă›â ÔÛ e I'm

. I'm Ă? Rob: I don'Ă? ÚÑÙĂ? anĂ• food Ă?â Ă‘â òÔÛ Ă• of Ă?Ă?e Ă™Ă?Ă’ foĂ’ ĂĄĂ?Ă’ Ă?ĂŁ . Ă? Ă?Ă? ĂŒ Ăą ĂąĂŒ Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ ĂŠ : RighĂ? so Ăš Ă™e and âÏ Ă’ Ă?s ÚÔÛ d ĂŹĂ’Ă” Ă‘ Ă• be besĂ? Ă• ÔÛ foĂ’ . ĂŒ Ă? ĂŤ â Ă?Ă? Rob: Wine and ĂŹ Ă’ Ă? s ÚÔÛ d be Ă?Ă?e nicesĂ? Ă?Ă? Ă™ . Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ Ă‘ Ă?òĂ›ĂŒĂ‘ Ă• Ă? : Ă™ Ă?Ă? Ă™g in ĂŹ Ă’Ă? ĂŠ Ă’? ĂŒ Rob: No I'll Ă‹Ă‘Ă˜e iĂ? all Ă? o ÕÔÛ. ĂŒĂ? Ă‹ ĂŽ Ă‘ Ă‹ ĂśĂ? Ă?òĂ›ĂŒ Ă‘ò Ă›Ă‘ĂŒĂŒĂ• ùËòĂ‘Ă›â ĂŠ Ă? Ă? : OK. IĂ? makes iĂ? Ă’ Ă?Ă? Ă’ e Ă‹ Ă” Ă›â I'm Ă? a Ă? ĂŁp and I need Ă? . ĂŒ ĂŒ Rob: ĂĄĂ?ÔÒĂ? Ă‹Ăş òĂ?ÔÒĂ? Ă‹. Ă´ Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ ĂŠ : ...geĂ? a lis Ă’Ă”m ÕÔÛ. So Ăš Ă?Ă‘Ă? shall Ăš e saĂ• Ă?Ă?Ă‹Ă™? ĂśĂ? Moe and Chandon champagne? Do ÕÔÛ Ă’ Ă™k ĂŒĂ‹ Ă‹ĂŽĂ‘ champagne foĂ’ ĂŁĂŹ ? ĂśĂ? Rob: YesĂş Ă•Ă‹s Ăše Ă’ Ă™k champagne. Ă? Ăł Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ : OK champagneĂş and foĂ’ Ăš Ă? â Ă• Ăş . ĂŠ Ăą Ă‘ ÜÕ Ă• Ăš Ă?ò Rob: Whisk oĂ’ Ă’ Ă™ don'Ă? mind Ă? Ă?. Page 22

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OKĂş I ĂŹĂŹ e if e ! " ÕÔÛ ÚÔÙ Ă? ÚÑÙĂ? ĂŒĂ? an kind of Ă’Ă‹ âĂ?Ă‹â. ĂŒ ĂŤ $ Rob: No Ă?Ă?Ă‘Ă™k ÕÔÛ # Ă‘Ă› Ă?â . Ă?ĂŤĂ‘ Ă‹ Ă‹ ĂŒĂ‹ Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ Ă‹ % : ĂĄ Ă’ Ă?Ă? s foĂ’ ĂŽĂ‘ĂŁĂŹ ? ùÛÕ ÜÛ Ă• Ă‹Ă‹ Ă”âĂ‹ Rob: NoĂş no I'm going Ă? o . Ă? Ă’ s on Ă?Ă? Ă? Ă? Ă‹ Make iĂ? Ă›p Ăš Ă? h some Ăš Ă™ . ĂŒĂ? Ă‹ ĂŽ : RighĂ? OK. ĂŠ Ăą Ă? Ăą Ă?ĂŒ Rob: &Ă›Ă? don'Ă? ÛÕ Ă?Ă?e ' Ă‹ ÒÑÛã òĂ?. Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ ĂŠ : . Ăą Ă?Ă‹Ăą Ă‘Ă› Ă?ĂŒò âĂ” Ă‹ Ă? Rob: Don'Ă? ÛÕ me ' Ă’ ĂŁ h oĂ’ ĂŁ Ă?Ă? Ă™g like Ă‘ Ă?Ă? Ă? . Ă? Ăą Ă?ĂŒ Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ ĂŠ : No ' Ă‹ ÒÑÛã òĂ?Ăş OK. Ă‹Üâ Ă• Ăš Ă?Ă‹ Rob: (Ă’ Ă? Ă? s oĂ’ nice Ă’ . Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ Ă‹ Ă‹ Ă‘ĂąĂŒĂ• Ă‹ ò âĂ› Ă”âĂ‹ : )Ă’ Ă’ . ĂŠ ĂŠĂ’ Ă™ h I ĂŹĂŹ Rob: Yes. Yes. ĂŒĂ? Ă? Ă‹ĂŽ : We'll Ă?Ă‘Ă˜e Ă? o âĂ? òk Ă?o Ă?Ă?Ă‘Ă? Ă?Ă?Ă‹Ă™. ĂŠ + Ă? Rob: HoĂš did * ,- do Ă?Ă? s Ă?Ă?ËÙú âÔÒĂ? of... Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ Ă‹ òÔÛ ĂŒ /01 Ă• ĂŠ ĂŹe : I'm noĂ? . 2 as I sa I'm Ă›âĂ? a Ă? ĂŁp foĂ’ a ÜÑÕâ . of Rob: HoĂš manĂ• people Ă?Ă‘Ă˜e ÚÔÙ? ç Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ ĂŠ : 3456e goĂ? Ă?Ă?Ă’Ă‹Ă‹. The Ă?Ă‘ĂŁĂŹĂ‹Ă’s Ă‘Ă’e äüÌ h ĂśĂ? Ă‹ Ă‹ Ă‘ ÔÛ â Ă‹ĂśĂ?Ă› 9: Ă’ Ă™Ă? ĂŁ Ă™Ă? . 7 8 s happens Ă? o be Ă?Ă?e ĂŁ m one. == Rob: OhĂş ; < . Thank ÕÔÛ >?@A ĂŁĂ›òh indeed. Ă? Ă? B Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ ĂŠ : The Ă?Ă? Ă™g is Ă?Ă?Ă‘Ă? ÕÔÛ mighĂ? Ă?Ă‘Ă˜e Ă?o collec Ă?Ă? s Ă” Ă?â Ă‘ Ă‘ Ă‹ Ă‹òĂ‘Ă›â Ă? Ă— Ă’ m Ă?Ă?e ĂĄĂ?Ă’ Ă?ĂŁ s ĂĄ ĂŹ Ă’. & e Ă? s being Ă’Ă›n in òĂ” Ă› ò Ă?Ă” Ăš Ă? Ă™ Ă™ Ă? n Ă? h HUB. ĂŒ ĂŒ Rob: ĂĄĂ?ÔÒĂ? Ă‹Ăş òĂ?ÔÒĂ? Ă‹. I'm noĂ? Ă?Ă‹Ă’e C DEF. I'm ! " Ă?Ă?Ă‘Ă? ÚËËóË Ăś Ă™ . Ă? Ă” Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ Ă‘ Ă— Ă‘Ă‹ ĂŠ : Oh Ă?Ă? Ă? s ĂŞĂ› Ă?e Ă’Ă? ÛÙ Ă? Ăş ha ha. Ă” Ă› Ă‘ Ă‹ĂŒĂ• Ă—Ă˜ Ă• Ă‘Ă‹ Rob: GĂ™ Ă’Ă? Ă™ Ă? Ă– e goĂ? Ă?o go Ă? o m ĂŹ Ă’ Ă™Ă?s foĂ’ IJKLM NO ùË Ă”

H Ă’e I go P so... s Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ : Oh Ă™Ă‹Ă˜Ă‹Ă’ mind. ĂŠ ĂŒ Rob: So I shan'Ă? be Ă?Ă‹Ă’e ÛÙ ÔÒĂ? ÛÙÑĂ? Ă‹ Ă• .

Geoff: Q Ă’ Ă?Ă• . òĂ”Ă›ĂŒ Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ Ă‹Ă‹ ĂŠ : Hello Ă•Ă‹âú d I speak Ă? o MĂ’ G % Ă˜Ă‹s please? UV Geoff: RST s me. Ă— Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ Ă‘ Ă‹ Ă‹Ăš ĂŠ : HelloĂş Ă– Ă˜e goĂ? some Ă’ Ă?Ă? Ă’ good Ă™ s foĂ’ ÕÔÛ XY Z [[\ Ă› Ă‘Ă˜ ÚÔ Ă˜ Ă? . Yo Ă? e a Ă?Ă?e HUB office...a W W Ă™ IJKLM NO Ă‘ Ă‹ H s Ă? ĂŁĂŹ Ă’. Geoff: I Ă?Ă‘Ă˜Ă‹? Ă” Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ Ă‹ âĂ” Ă‹ĂŒ Ă‘ ĂŠ : YesĂş I'm phoning Ă’ m ĂŹ Ă’ ÙÙ . We Ă’e Ă‘Ă• Ă”ĂŒ Ă‘ ĂŒ òĂ” Ă› ò Ă?Ă” Ăš Ă? Ă› Ă? Ă’ ÙÙ Ă™g a special ĂŹ Ă’ l Ă’ e in Ă™ Ă™ Ă? n Ă? h Ă?Ă?e Ă?â Ă‘ ^_` HUB office. And ] ae ÚÔn a ĂĄĂ?Ă’ Ă?ĂŁ s hampeĂ’ Ă?b Ă‹ üÌç Ăš Ă?ò ä h 5 Ă? h is Ă?Ă?e 2nd ĂŹĂ’ . e g Geoff: Good cd f ! HoĂš did I do Ă?Ă?Ă‘Ă? ? I didn'Ă? go in Ă‘ ĂŒĂ‹ foĂ’ a Ă’ . Ă? Ă— Ă‘ò ĂŒĂŒ Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ ÔÛÍ Ă‘Ă• Ă”ĂŒ ĂŠ : No Ă? s Ă? ÛÑ Ă• Ă›âĂ? done Ă?Ă?Ă’ h Ă?Ă?e ĂŹ Ă’ l Ă—Ă˜ jk Ă› ùË Ă‘ Ă‘ Ă‹ ĂŒĂ• Ă™ ĂŁ Ă’s ĂŹĂŹ Ă’ Ă™Ă? Ăş so Ă– e been h i . Geoff: Hee! Heel Ha! Ho! Ho! Ă— ĂŤĂ? Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ ĂŠ : And Ă– Ă˜e been Ă˜Ă‹n Ă?Ă?e job Ă? o phone ÕÔÛ lp and ĂŒ ask ÕÔÛ Ăš Ă?Ă‘Ă? ÕÔÛ ÚÔÛ d like in Ă?Ă?e Ă?Ă‘ĂŁĂŹĂ‹Ă’. ĂľĂ‘Ă˜e ÕÔÛ Ă— Ă‘ò ĂŒĂŒ Ă‹ Ă‹ Ă‹ òĂ‹â Ă” ÜË Ă‹ Ă• goĂ? an ĂŹĂ’ Ă’ Ă™ ? Ă–Ă? s Ă? ÛÑ Ă• being Ă’ Ă’ d Ăś ÔÛÍ h þÑÒÒÔ â. Ă?Ă?Ă’ Ăś mn Geoff: ĂŠĂ’Ă”m þÑÒÒÔ â ? qr Ăą ÔÑ Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ ^_` Ă”ĂąĂ‘ĂąĂŒĂ• ĂŠ : YesĂş so I mean ] ae ĂŹĂ’ goĂ? op e a Ă’ d Ă? Íâ Ă‘ ĂŤ Ă‹ Ă‘Ă˜ Ă’ Ă™ e of Ă?Ă? Ă™ . sĂ?Ă? Ă’ people seem Ă? o Ă? e gone foĂ’ â Ă?Ă?â ĂšĂ? Ă‹ Ăš if ÕÔÛ Ă?Ă‘Ă˜e anĂ• Ă™ s and ĂŹ Ă’ Ă? . I don'Ă? kno Ă‹ Ă‹ Ă‹ òĂ‹ Ă‹ ĂŹĂ’ Ă’ Ă™ s Ă?Ă? Ă’e aĂ? all. Geoff: YesĂş Ă•Ă‹s a jollĂ• good ideat ha haĂş ho ho. Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ Ă‘ Ăś wx y Ă‘ Ă‹Ă˜Ă‹ ĂŠ : &Ă’ Ă™ Ă• Ăş u v v z Ăš Ă? Ă? Ă’? Ă” Geoff: ) Ă’Ă?. Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ Ă” ĂŠ : ) Ă’Ă?? Ăą Ăś ĂŒĂŒĂ? Geoff: )ÔÒĂ?Ăş Ă•Ă‹s and Ă’Ă‘Ă™ Ă• Ăş Ă‹Ă’ĂŁ òĂ’Ă•âĂ? Ă‘ âĂ‹d Ă›Ă? â Ă’ Ă? . Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ òĂ” Ă”ĂŒĂŒĂ‹ ĂŒĂ‘Ă›ĂŤ Ă‹ Ă‘Ă›âĂ‹ : # Ă™Ă?Ă’ d ) Yes. ĂŠ Ă?Ă? Ă’ and long ĂŹ Ă? ĂŤ ĂŒĂŒ Geoff: All Ă?Ă?e Ă?Ă? Ă™ s I Ă™Ă‹Ă˜Ă‹Ă’ ÙÔÒãÑ Ă• geĂ? like ò Ă”òĂ”ĂŒĂ‘ Ă‹â Ă? ? homemade Ă? | ~ € Ă? + Ă? Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ : Homemade { }{} ‚ƒ Ă•Ă‹s I Ă?Ă? Ă™k * ,- do ĂŞĂ› Ă?e ĂŠ Ă‘ ĂŤĂ‹ a nice Ă’ Ă™ . Ă? ĂŒĂ‹ Ă? Ă‹ Ă‹ Ă‹ Ă‹Ă— Ă‘ Geoff: And Ă?Ă? n if Ă?Ă? Ă’ s ÙÕĂ?Ă? Ă™g Ă? Ăš Ă™ . Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ Ă‹ Ă‘Ă? ÜË ĂšĂ? Ă› ĂšĂ? ĂŠ : OKĂş so Ă™e made p Ă? h Ă?Ă?e Ă’ ĂŁ Ă™ Ă’? Ă?ĂŒ Ăą ĂąĂŒ Ăł ĂŒ Geoff: Well Ă?Ă?Ă‘Ă? Ăš l ĂŹĂ’Ă” Ă‘ Ă• Ă? Ă‘ e òĂ‘Ă’e of iĂ? I ÚÔÛ d Ă? Ăł Ă?Ă? Ă™ . Ă? Ăś Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ ĂšĂ”Ă›ĂŒ :I d Ă?Ă? Ă™k so aĂ? þÑÒÒÔ âú Ă•Ă‹â. ĂŠ | ~ € Ă”ĂąĂ‘ĂąĂŒĂ• Ăš Geoff: YesĂş I'll ĂŹĂ’ geĂ? Ă? o { }{} ‚„! Ho! Ho! Ăł ÔÚ Ă? ÕÔÛ Ă— Ă‘Ă˜ Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ ĂšĂ”Ă›ĂŒ ĂŠ : I don'Ă? Ă™ . FoĂ’ 1 d Ă?Ă? Ă™k dĂ? e Ă‘ ĂŤĂ‹ Ă›Ă? ĂŞ Ă?e a Ă’ Ă™ . Ă? ĂśĂ? Ă? Geoff: Yes ĂŞĂ› Ă?e Ă‹ĂŽĂ?ÒÑÔÒ ÙÑÒÕ . HoĂš did Ă?Ă? s idea ÑùÔÛ come Ă?? ĂŒĂŒ ĂŒĂŒ Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ : I'm noĂ? Ă’Ă‹Ă‘ Ă• âÛÒe Ă‘òĂ? ÛÑ Ă• . To be honesĂ? I'm ĂŠ Ă—Ă˜ ĂŤĂ?Ă˜Ă‹ Ă‹ Ă›â Ă? been a Ă? ĂŁp and Ă– e n Ă?Ă?e job Ă? o phone people. Ă? ÚÚ Ă‘ Ă‘ ĂŤĂ‹ Ă‹ The Ă?Ă? Ă™g is Ă?Ă?e Ă’Ă’ Ă™ ĂŁ Ă™Ă? foĂ’ …† øÂ…á ‡ˆg Ă?Ă?e Ă” Ă?â Ă‘ Ă‘ Ă‹ hampeĂ’ mighĂ? be Ă’ m Ă?Ă?e ĂĄĂ?Ă’ Ă?ĂŁ s ĂĄ ĂŹ Ă’. Will ÕÔÛ be Ă?Ă?Ă‹Ă’Ă‹? ‹ ÂŒ Â?ÂŽ Ăą Geoff: ‰Òú I can'Ă? come along I'm Š Š Â? Ă›Ă? iĂ? can be Y Ă”ĂąĂŒĂ‹ Ă• ÔÔ lef in m Ă’ ĂŁĂş no ĂŹĂ’ ĂŁ. Ă‹ĂŒĂ?ĂŽ Ă” Ă‹ Ă‘ Ă‘ ĂŤĂ‹ Ă‹ ĂŠ : Well Ăš e can come Ă? o some Ă?Ă? Ă’ Ă’Ă’ Ă™ ĂŁ Ă™Ă? Ăą on Ă?Ă?Ă‘Ă? . OK? ThanksĂş Ă•Ă‹. Geoff: &Ă•Ă‹.

Reggie John HarrisonBlennerhassett Warden of Wilson Union Finance Officer “

John: HelloÂŻ John Ă„ÂœÂ–Â– —Â?. ‘’“” Âœ Âœ “—Â? Â? : Is ˜ ™ ˜ D– Ă„ –– ? “ “ Âœ “—Â? ¡ ÂŻ ž ˜ ¤ ™ ¸h one? John: Well ˜ ™ s is M– Ă„ –– Ăą ò g o– MRE? “Â?Ă™ ‘’“” Âœ ő —¡Â‘ Â? ÂŻ I ˜™ : ĂˆÂ˜ Çs ˜ ™e ¤ – n of Wilson Ă„ . John: s me. ’“ “ “ Â’ ‘ ” Â? Â? — —¡ Â? : I'm – Ă˜ g •– m . Ç l be pleased ˜o › “ Â’ kno¤ ˜ ™œ˜ Â&#x; ¥¢£e ¤ —n a – e in a –œ•• e ¿Àà Âe been “ !"#$#" '()* ÂœĂ™Â‘ g ¤ ˜ h ˜ ™e HUB office. %& e ˜ n all ˜ ™e ›œž —’ ,-./0 Â?¡ ‘ — ّ e ¤ – d ˜ ™‘m all ­ž –s on ˜™e – l and + Â’¡ ٞ —¡ ¸ ˜ and done a dip. ‘Ă? ‘–œl people ™œĂ?e ¤ —n › “ ‘ “ — Âœ Âœ ›‘ a – . 12345e ¤ n a ÉÊ 5 ™– ˜ ­ s ™ ­ –. The “ 6789 g isĂŒ ĂˆĂ‡Ă?e –¡Â?g ˜ o find —¡Â˜ ¤Â™ÂœÂ˜ ž —¡ ¤ ÂœÂ?˜ in ˜ . We ÂœĂ? — ő ÂœĂ? —¡ Â—Ă…ÂœÂž Âœ ž —¡ ™ e ˜o – – i˜ and I ™ e ˜ o find ˜˜ ¤Â™ ˜ “ ÂœÂ? ¤ ˜ in ˜ . Âą š Ÿ½ John: Goodness me. This is Âş good :; ¡Â˜ le˜ me “ “ “ make ¡Â–e ˜ ™ s is ˜™e – Ă˜Â™Â˜ one. This is John Ă„ÂœÂ–Â– —n “Â?‘ Âœ ‘—¡ ‘ Â? “Â?‘‘ “Â? of ä – l ÂŽ –¸ s Ă• Ă˜ – Ă˜. ‘’“” “ Â? : s – Ă˜Â™Â˜. “ Â’

John: s ¸Â‘–˜ Âœ Â? ž me. “ ‘’“” Â? : J.P. isn'˜ ˜? “ “ —¡ Âœ ‘—¡ . I don'˜ John: s – Ă˜Â™Â˜. WellÂŻ ˜ ™ s is ˜ – Ă˜ B Âœ ÂŹÂœÂž =>> Âœ kno¤ ¤Â™ ˜ ˜o . Ho ho! Righ˜ < ? onĂŒ @A l me ¤Â™ ˜ Ă? ĂˆĂ‡ e go˜ ˜ o do. š B ‘’“” : WellC basicallD ¡Â˜ @ A l me ¤Â™ÂœÂ˜ ž —¡ ¤ ÂœÂ?˜ in ˜ ™e Â? ‘’“” — : Hello I'm phoning •– m ˜ ™e HUB office. ™œ­Â›Â‘–. Yo¡ can ™œĂ?e ÂœÂ?ž˜™“Â?g ž —¡ ¤ ÂœÂ?˜ . EFGHe Â? “ š ››œ ‘Â? ’ž ÂŞ  ¥¢£ e ¤ —n ÂĽÂŚ5 §¨Š h of ™– ÂŹÂ˜ ­Âœs IJKLMg i˜ •–—m Ă„ÂœÂ–Â–Â—Ă…ÂŹÂŻ so ³´¾œ ÂŹÂ˜ —¸k NOPQQR ¤ ‘’l – ˜ Â&#x; Âœ ›‘ “Â? ÂœÂ?ž ™ ­ –. ˜ ™ Ă˜. ‘œ’’ž ´ Ă… ? Reggie: ÂŽ John: Do Âł ¾œ no˜ ™œĂ?e a ÂŹÂ˜ ÂœÂ? œ–d one fo– ˜ ™œ˜ Â’ ´ š “ “ ¹² ‘’“” : YesÂŻ ° s a –œ•• e ˜™œ˜ Âł ¾œ –¡n in ¸Â—Â? ¡Â?¸Â˜ —n ¤ ˜ h STUVWXYZTU Ă? œ’¡Â‘? Â? ž ‘’“” ‘œ’’ Âœ ÂŹ ÂœÂ?Ă…Âœ ¡ ˜ ™e pa office. Â? –d one as ¸Â™. : TheĂ› don'˜ – ž ™ Ă?e a ˜ —¡ Ÿ½ ÂœÂ? ¡ “Â? ‘ ÂœĂ? ÂœÂ?ž Ă› ¡Â› ¡ ž —¡ ­ ¸Â™. Reggie: Oh ˜ ™ k ž Âş The make . Yo can ˜™ m ™ e ˜™ g ’“ Â’ “ ‘ ” : Wha˜ ¤ —¡ d ž —¡ like in ˜ ÂŻ žÂ‘¸Âœ¡e ¿Àà Âe go˜ ¤ ÂœÂ?˜ . FoodÂŻ ¤ “Â?‘ÖÖ. Â? Ăƒ Âœ —ŏ Ă™ Â’ \] _`a cdefg hif ˜ o make a lis fo– Ă„ –– . b . I don'˜ Â?—¤ . I ™—Â?Â‘ÂŹÂ˜ ž John: [ ^^^ s is b Ă™Â?— “” ¡ “Â? “ Âœ ¡ Reggie: OK. ¤. j ˜ a ­ ˜ –e of ˜ ™ Ă˜s fo– ™– ˜ ­ s don'˜ ‘’“” “ Â’ k WZ Â? : TodaÆ if ˜™œ˜ Çs possible. l do. Food and ¤ Â?e I ¤ —¡ d ™œĂ?e ˜ ™—¡Ă˜Â™Â˜ . ž “Â? “ ‘’“” Âœ Âœ ¡ Reggie: Oh I seeÂŻ OK m god... Â? : Yo see ˜™e ˜ ™ g is ˜ ™ ˜ I ™ Ă?e go˜ ˜ o Ă˜ Ă? e a Ă… “Â? ‘’“” ĂŽĂ?Ă? Ă‘ĂŽĂ’Ă“ Âœ —¡Â’ ž —¡ “ œ “ Â’ Ăƒ Â? Ă” ¤Â™ ˜ ¤ : ĂˆÂ˜ Çs ÉÊ Ă‹ĂŒ so – k fo– Ă? d lis in and ˜ Çs a bi˜ •• ¸¡ ˜ fo– me žÂ‘¸Âœ¡e if I don'˜ “Â? “Ă? Ăƒ ‘ ‘ž Â’ ž like fo– ˜ ™œ˜ ? Ç l onl make me – g back. Ă˜ e ˜ ™ m a lis ˜ ™ ח Ă…Â‘Âœ Ă…¡ › “ ‘ Âœ ‘ — ž Ă…¡ ž Âœ — Ă? –ÖÖÖ Reggie. Ֆ­Ă–Ă–Ă– h d m didd m didd John: ĂˆĂ‡ e go˜ no idea ¤Â™ ˜ ˜ ™e –˜ of – ¸ s – . Ă…¡ Ă… Ă… Ă… Ă… Ă™ ’“ Ă… m ¡m ¡m ¡­Ă–Ö֑––¯ oh Ă˜Â— ÖÖ֏™¡¸ ÖÖ֑–­. ah Â?‘ ” : Well ÂœžÂ—¡Â˜ ¤Â™ÂœÂ˜ ž—¡ paž in ˜™e shops. Ă„ÂœÂ–Â–Â— s l Âœ ‘” ›‘Â?“Ă? ‘ ah. isn' ˜ ™ ˜ . Â’ “ Â’ —¡ Âœ ‘ ‘’“” ÂŹ Âœ ‘ – ˜™ – I ˜ –˜ d on ˜™e food side? Â? : Ăš —¡ d ž John: No ˜ ™œ˜ Çs – Ă˜Â™Â˜ . When do I need ˜ o ˜ ‘ l ž —¡. Reggie: YesÂŻ do. ‘’“” : Yes? Â? “ › ‘‘ ´¾œ Reggie: TheĂ› do some Ăœ¡ ˜e nice – –Ă?‘s don'˜ Âł Âœ —ŏ in Ă„ –– ? ‘’“” Â? : Yes. Â’ Ăž Reggie: Some of ˜ ™—‘. Tha ¤ —¡ d be nice ˜ ™œ˜ âã Ă&#x; Ă ĂĄ . ‘’“” : Yes. Â? › Reggie: 䜞 že some...oh god...some œ˜e o– ÌçèÊ ĂŞĂŤĂŹĂ­ ĂĽ . Ă… “Â? ‘’“” Âœ —¡ —¡ ÂœÂ?Ă… Â? : Yes. Ă„ Ă?e ž ˜™ Ă˜Â™Â˜ of anž – k ž‘˜? Ζ ž ÂŻ ðùò Ă° — ‘ “Â? Âœ h o– ­ ˜ ™ g like ˜ ™ ˜ ? ĂŻ Ăľ á Ă… Â’Â’ Â’ Reggie: Fo– óô Ăś ? Ֆ­Ă–Ă–Ă–žÂ–ÂœÂ? ž ÂŻ Âœ¸Â˜ ¡Âœ ž ˜ ™œ˜ ¤ —¡ d “ ‘’ be – Ă˜Â™Â˜ Ă–Ă–Ă–¤ l done. ‘’“” : If ˜ ™‘–‘ Çs anž monež lef˜ øÚúÝß ¤Â™ÂœÂ˜ in ˜™e ¤ œž Â? “Â?‘ of ¤ ? “Â? Þÿ Âœ — Â’ ‘ Reggie: YesÂŻ ­ žže a ž ˜˜ e of – d ¤ e o– Ă˝ ž —¡ Ă™Â?— ¤. Â’ › Â’ ‘’“” : OK. —¡ Ç l –—žÂœž ž ™œĂ?e ˜ o collec˜ i˜ a˜ ˜™e Â? “ “ ĂŞ ĂŤ ĂŠ ç œ›‘ s ¸ –. s ˜ ™e HUB Â—Â–Ă˜ÂœÂ? ‘d ˜ ™ Â?Ă˜. ĂĽ “ Reggie: OhÂŻ – Ă˜Â™Â˜ . ‘’“” —¡ Â’ Âœ —¡Â? ‘Â? Â? : Ç l be – d ˜™ ? Ă™ Ăž “ Reggie: I don'˜ Â?—¤ ÂŻ Ă˝ n is ˜? ‘’“” ‘” ¡Â?Ă…ÂœÂž Â? : ˜ . Reggie: I maž be —¡Â˜. If no˜ I'll send mž apologies. ’“ ‘ ” Â? : OK. Âœ gie: I'll see ¤Â™ ˜ I can do.

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” Â? : I need ˜ o kno¤ ¤ ÂŻ ˜ ™ ˜ Çs ˜™e ˜ ™ Ă˜. š rrs John: –e ž —¡ ¡Â–e mnoGHe no˜ pq tg mž leg? ‘’“” Â? : No. John: HoÂŻ haÂŻ ho. Â’ “ Ă™ “ ‘’“” : Do ž —¡ ¤ ÂœÂ?˜ ÂŻ žÂ—˜˜ ‘s of ¤ ™ ÂŹ ž ÂŻ ¤ Â?‘¯ ˜ ™œ˜ Çs Â? “Â? — ÂœĂ? — ˜™e –˜ of ˜ ™ g people ™ e gone • –. Â’Ă… “ “ Ă™ John: YesÂŻ ž¡Â˜ I ¤ —¡ Â? Ă‡Â˜ be Â?˜ Â‘Â–Â‘ÂŹÂ˜ ‘d in ¤ ™ ÂŹ ž . “Â? “ ‘ œ“Â?’ž — Â’ ‘ — Â’ ÂŤ –˜ a ž ˜˜ e of – d ¤ e and a ž ˜˜ e of ¤ ™ ˜ e “Â?‘ ¡ . j ˜ ˜™e job. ¤ › “ Â’ ‘’“” Â? : Anž œ–˜ ¸¡ œ– ÂŹÂ—Â–Â˜? Ă— ‘Â? John: No. Â?– ¸h o– ‘–­ÂœÂ?. We'll ™œĂ?e some “ ĂŞ ĂŤ ĂŠ ç ›¡Ă…œÂ? Âœ ĂĽ s g and some ™– ˜ ­ s cake. ›’‘Â? ž ‘’“” 345 ž‘ : 12 e go˜ lef˜ ˜ . Â? ˜ Ă… Ă™ John: Ֆ­Ă–Ă–Ă–A ¡¸ . Ă… Ă™ ’“ ‘ ” Â? : A ¡¸ ? John: YesÂŻ ž ‘s D.U.C.K. Â’ ‘’“” Â? : OKÂŻ Do ž —¡ ¤ ÂœÂ?˜ a big one? We ¸Â—¡ d go fo– ‘Â?—¡ ÂœĂ™ ‘ ¡ Ă˜h ˜ o ˜ one big e p ˜ ™e – ˜ of ˜™e monež if ž —¡ like. vwxwyz — ‘ |}~ John: Well no u l onlž be me and one ˜™ – { g Âą —¡Â’ ÂœĂ? —¡ ‘“ d ™ e ˜ ™ Ă˜Â™Â˜ ÂŻ 3lbs in ¤ Ă˜Â™Â˜. ° . I˜ needs ˜ o beĂŒ I ¤ œ “ ‘’“” Â? : YesÂŻ a ÂŹÂ—Â–Â˜ of ­Â‘ ¡m ÂŹÂ—Â–Â˜ of ÂŹ ‘. ŗ ’‘ “Â?Ă™ Ăž ÂœĂ™Â‘ ‘ Ă–Ă–Ă– John: Tha ˜ s i˜ ¤ n ˜o –– ˜ me ˜ ™ . s “ ‘‘Â? Âœ —¡  Â‚ƒ — ÂœÂ?— ‘ ¡Â“Ă… s ¤ –˜ ™. So . Wha˜ ž ˜ € €„ Ăœ ˜™ – • •˜ †‡ˆ‰ ‹ #$ÂŒÂ?!$ “ —¡ Âœ — –˜ of Â… s do ž ™ Ă?e fo– Š . Some ­ ”‘d Â?¡ ÂŹ ˜ . “ “ “ ‘’“” : ä ” ‘d Â?¡Â˜ ÂŹ. OK. Yo¡ can ÂŹÂ˜ ¸k ÂœÂ?ž˜™ Â?g in if ž—¡ Â? ÂŹ “ Âœ ّ like ¤e can ˜ ¸k ¸Â– ¸ –s in. John: OhÂŻ no no no. Yo¡ can'˜ ea˜ ˜ ™—‘. Ha ha ha. — — ÂŹ ‘‘ ‘ ‘’’ Ֆ­Ă–Ă–Ă– ­e –˜ of ¤ ˜ s in ˜ ™ –e as ¤ . Some 7Â? Â?Â?‘6 ÂŹ ‘‘ ÂŹ ÂŽ ÂŽ e ¤ ˜ . Ăž ÂŹ —¡Â’ Ăƒ ‘’“” ‘Â?—¡ “”• ” Â? Ă˜h lis Â’ Â’ . OK. : Tha ™ d be a long ´ “ Ă… John: Ho¤ ™œĂ?e Âł ¾œ done ˜ ™ s –œ¤? ’“ ´ š ‘ ” Â? : Well ˜ ™e HUB office basicallD ¡Â˜ said ˜ ™œ˜ Âł ¾œ “ “Â? “’ ž—¡ —˜ – e going ˜ o do ˜ . The ˜ ™ g isÂŻ ¤ l be coming “ ¢ “ “ Âœ š›œÂ? ? žœ™šÂ&#x; e ÂĄ £¤¼Œe Ă˜ Ă? Â?g ˜ ™‘m ˜ o ˜ ™e ™– ˜ ­ s ™ —¡ ‘ ‘ ˜ ˜™ – . “’ John: WellÂŻ I ¤ l Â?—¤ . Ho ho ho. ‘’“” Â? : OK. “ Ă™ John: I'll ™œĂ?e ˜ o ge˜ mž ˜ ¸ ‘˜ ¤ —Â? Ă‡Â˜ I? ‘’“” Âœ —¡ “ ž —¡ Â? : We'll le˜ kno¤ bž Wednesdaž ž ˜ ˜ . “ Âœ Âœ “Â? ž —¡ Ÿ½ ¡ ž‘ . John: ÂŽ Ă˜Â™Â˜ ÂŻ ­ Ă˜. Thank Âş ­ ¸Â™. ĂŽ ‘’“” Â? : Ξ ‘.

Page 23

FELIX would never suggest that anarchy should be promoted at Imperial College.

The anarchy page Under no circumstances should anyone attempt any of the following examples of anarchy without the supervision of an adult.

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neighbours will never forgefWIy not pour an enf bottle of washing up liqwfflftto the cistern of °< toilet? Do this very ca«Mf-an(f make sure you ³´´µ¶· not around when s Qjg|©% flushes 'M± ² ' ¸¹º»¼ fantastic re 'iptganised anarchy. Fe people know that W you flush every toWeX on a ¿ÀÁ skJe, the bottom one staircase in Linsnlpb ½ ¾ ÅÆÇÈÉÊËÆÅÌËÍÍÎ overflow ÃÄ . The plumbing is badly designed a^dMe-pressure from five simultaneous flushes is^apebleÏ of truly uplifting experience for anyone.oo^.iaifl|^yacle.

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,o when the only cashp ^hffpir^tniiii Heta1% a way to createyour very owrrOuf of order' Cashpoint. Take one piece ofplastic, for instance a phonecard. Cutthe cardto the exact size ofyou cashpoint card. Attach an opened sachet of salad cream to the card and insert it into a machine. As the magnetic head attempts to readthe card's strip it willdeposit cream into the innardsof the machine. Nowyou willat know where the dodgy cashpoints ar» ÐÑ ÒÓ

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§ The College's internal telephone system is extremely advanced. Wherever there is a place for technology, there is a e & r t o s ^ l n anarchist to screw it up. The facilities available on some phones are beyond belief, if you know somebody with a phone in their room, you should be able to set an alarm call on it for 6am without them noticing. Just dial 26 and then the -2* nbbf clock time you require, eg 260600. You can stack the calls up to three deep, for-8 chance to block most of the network, why not . phone somebody via almost every system in College? For * instance dial into the Southside exchange-94-the.n o u t - 0 - t h e n through Evelyn Gardens-97-and b a c k - 0 - and say the Union Office. With one call (94097035001 you have blocked two major networks in the College exchange. Simple really. For best effect, why not make somebody's phone ring elsewhere? Just press the recall button 'R' and 14 followed by the number you wish to receive the calls from now on, eg R14 3000.

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Page 25

Men s

Hockey Ă–

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m In a p of e Ăœ Ă&#x;e Ă&#x;Ă Ăœe agains e Ă– Ăš Ă– Ă– Ă– Ăš Ă– hadn' ĂĄĂ™ ââĂ?d a poin ĂŁ Ă? ä a Ă Ă™ ĂĽg IC 2nd Ă?Ă˜Ìä ĂŞ Ăš Ă Ă– Ă?Ă™Ă? Ă–Ă› Ă– Ă– Ă?Ă˜ Ă™Ă˜ĂĽ Ăš ÙÚ ç Ăœ d bĂŁ a ĂĄ m è m e 1s m ĂŠ Ă˜Ă™k óôþ Ă– Ă– ĂŹĂ­ Ă&#x;ĂĽ Ă&#x;ĂŽĂŻ ĂĽ Random)ä ĂŤ e Ăœ ĂŁ no o Ă° Ăą ä in a game ò e Ă–Ă›Ă?Ă™ Ă– ĂŹĂ­ Ă Ă?ĂśĂ?Ă™Ă˜ e ĂŤ e l los balls. Ă– Ă– Ă– Ă– Ăš IC Ă Ă˜Ă™ Ă?d Ă° Ă?ĂœĂœä çĂ&#x; a áĂ&#x;Ă˜Ă™ Ă?Ă™ chance è Ă™ m a half Ă– Ă–Ă› Ăš ÚúÝßý ÙÚ Ăž back in e Ăż m è m a Ă Ă?Ùù Ă&#x;s sho bĂŁ Colin ø

à ÚÙ Ă?Ă™ Ă˜ âĂ&#x;Ă– Ă˜Ăś ðùåe bĂŁ e g ĂĄĂą ĂĄ ä Ă° s . ĂŻ Ăš Ă– Ă–Ă› ÌùÎ Ă?ĂŁ ĂŚ Ă&#x;Ă e defending bĂŁ IC led o Ă?ùÙ e Ă° Ă˜s ÌÚÙe ùüĂ– Ă?Ă™Ă?Ă Ă– Ă?d in plane goal as !" Ă– Ă›Ă˜ %&'( Ă–Ă› ** +,-, . Ăš ÞÛÖ g n #$ g e ) ) ) ! We è Ă&#x; back ĂŞ Ă– Ă– Ă– Ă› Ă? Ă Ă?ĂśĂ?Ă™Ă˜ Ă° Ăœl Ă° Ăą h l chances çĂ&#x; i Ă° Ă˜s Ă˜Ă™k Ă° o finallĂŁ ÖÛÙÚĂ&#x;Ăž Ă– ĂšĂ&#x;Ă– âĂ˜ĂŽ ĂĽ Ă–Ă› ÙÚï Ă™Ă&#x;ĂĽ ç ä Ăą g e h Ă° Ăą h a good e Ă–Ă› Ă™ Ă&#x;ĂĽĂŚĂ˜Ă™ĂŻĂ? d police ca behind himä and lobbing e ball / Ă–Ă› Ă˜ Ă™ Ă&#x;Ă Ă– 234 Ă– Ă› Ă˜Ă™Ă– 5 ĂŻĂ?Ă?âĂ?Ă™ Ă– 1 ä o make 30f in e Ăą ä 0 eĂ— s 6 i 1-1. Ă– Ă– Ă– Ă–Ă› Ă– Ă Ă˜Ă™ Ă? Ă ĂŽĂ› ĂĽ The second half d Ă° Ăą h e Ă° Ăą Ăą g of Ă– Ă– Ă›Ă? Ă™ ÌÚÙ ĂĽĂ˜Ă– Ă&#x;Ă™Ă˜ ÙÚ Ă?Ă Ă– Ă?Ăś Ă–Ăš Ă– people o e l Ăœ 7 e Ă—Ă&#x;Ă™ n o Ăą 9::;< Ă– >?@AB Ăš ÞÛÖ ĂŽĂ?ĂĽĂ– Ă™Ă? ÚÙ Ă˜Ă™ Ă˜Ăś è Ă° d and e 8 d o = ! We è Ă&#x; Ăš Ă˜Ă™ Ă? Ă?à â Ă– ÙÚ Ă° Ăœl andä ĂĄ Ăą e a goal è m Dom C Ă° d being E HH Ă› D FG IJKd and L ĂĽĂĄĂ™Ă?Ă° TalbM Ă˜Ăś ùüg a case of PE onlĂŁ Ă– Ă– Ă–Ă› âÚà Ö ĂŽĂšĂ&#x; ĂĽ 5Ă– Ă™Ă?Ă˜ Ă– ÛÙÚĂ&#x;ÞÛ ä Ă°e ĂœĂĄ ç o find he'd hi e k . Ăš Ă– Ă–Ă› ÛÚ Ă– Ăš Ăš And noĂ™ ĂŽ Ă&#x;Ăœd Ă—Ă˜Ă™ s as e 7 Ă Ă™ ĂŽ ÙüĂ?Ă™s in a Ă™ Ă° ä Ă– Ăž Ăś Ă? Ă– Ă–Ă›Ă? Ăą n o m bĂŁ Ă&#x;ÌâùĂ™e Ă˜Ăśe ĂŤĂŹĂ­e Ă° Ă˜Ă Ă?ĂĄ. Ă™Ă˜ Ă˜ Ă™Ă?Ă Ă&#x; Ă– Ă™ Ăœ fo IC 2nds and IC A 1-1 ĂĄ Ă° Ă° s a good 6 Ă› Ă› Ă– Ă–Ă› Ă–Ă› Ă– Ă–Ă› 1 N s Ă° o Ă° ĂąĂœl Ă˜Ăśe o plaĂŁ Ă?m foĂ™ e UL OPOQe a e Ă–Ă› end of e season.

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FeliX

ULU TRAVEL

Thankyou

Sylvester & John Smith hope

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L o w cost w o r l d w i d e flights • S p e c i a l fares for students *

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Group bookings

O v e r 70 o f f i c e s w o r l d w i d e

THE

STUDENT

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that all those who have been

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albeit

inadequate. A very happy Christmas to everyone and may the

From

U L U Travel Shertield Building Imperial College ^ _ L o n d o n SW7 01-581 01-581

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ULU TRAVEL

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'Ho ho ho ' said Mad Dash festively, as she pinned up another length of tinsel. Her husband, Derek Dash, sighed. It was hard enough being Baron of Cheapskate without having to be jolly as well. Now he was going to have to dress up in a silly red and white suit and a glued-on, curly beard. All the tiny citizens would tug at it and spill jelly over him. It was most unpleasant. 'I'm going for a walk,' he said gloomily, shaking off the piles of baubles and crackers which had fallen on him. 'But Derek, you've got so much to do for the Christmas Party!' cried Mad Dash in an anguished voice. She couldn't understand why Derek wasn't as enthusiastic as she was about the party. After all, he always seemed to have so much fun with the tiny citizens... Meanwhile, in the PHALLIX Office in a dingy corner of Bite Polygon, Rave Smuggly was opening his post. The biggest item was a huge box of orange paper chains. 'I didn't order a huge box of orange paper chains,' he said, sounding puzzled. 'In fact, I didn't order any paper chains at all.' 'Just a minute, there's a note', said Rose Petal, the PHALLIX typesetter operator. 'Dear Rave, thought you might like some decorations for your office. Merry Christmas, love Prof Dicks, Head of the Doctor and Nurse citizens,' she read. 'I recognise that shade of orange,' said Inky Thompson, the PHALLIX printer. 'Oh look, if you look really closely you can see naughty pictures on the chains!' But before they could discuss the paper chains any further, a tiny citizen came hurtling through the PHALLIX office door on its tricycle. 'It might have opened it first,' thought Rave sourly, surveying the wreckage. But without saying a word, the tiny citizen handed Rose a small piece of paper and pedalled away very quickly. 'Come to the Mad Dash Christmas Bash,' said the message on the paper. 'Come one, come all-come young, come old-if you like jelly and screaming,

sticky-fingered tiny citizens you'll have a whale of a time!' Rave, Rose and Inky looked at each other in horror. 'I'd better put it in PHALLIX,' said Rave, 'or we'll all get dragged along.' John Secretary took a final, sad look around his office in Surefield Castle and switched out the light for the last time. On his way down the corridor he passed the office of House of Frazer, the new Manager of Cheapskate, who was taking over Secretary's job. Through the cracks around Frazer's door, John Secretary could just make out the glow of the flashing neon sign which had been installed in the window. 'Cheapskate-probably the best school in the world-unbeatable value,' it said. Suddenly a pounding disco beat started up. 'La la la...Cheapskate, Cheapskate, Cheapskate, the one for meee! Now I'm happy as can beee! Derek the Baron is number one! We're all having lots of fun!' crooned the singers. 'Oh hello Secretary are you off, then?' asked Derek, who had just stepped out of the lift. 'That's the new Song for Cheapskate-good isn't it?' He said, shaking off a piece of tinsel which was stubbornly entanlged in his hair. 'Houseof had it mixed by Stock, Aitken & Thingybob I think. It's going quite well in the charts, too. Anyway, I was just off to talk to him about the new Cheapskate theme park we're planning. Houseof thinks it'll be terribly profitable.' He stopped, and his voice took on a softer tone. 'Well, we will miss you,' he said insincerely. 'Keep in touch, eh?' Then he walked off, humming the 'Song for Cheapskate". Secretary sighed and shook his head, then he turned and left Cheapskate forever. • Will anyone survive the Christmas Bash? • Will John Secretary buy any shares in Cheapskate pic? tWill there ever be another episode of.... THE BARON OF CHEAPSKATE!

The Christmas Caper

So, you think it's all over on December 15th? Lectures and labs may have finished, but the fun goes on... On Sunday December 17th at 2.30pm, Father Christmas will roar into Sherfield on a magical sled, no reindeer necessary, and the best kid's party in town will be underway. The Imperial College Christmas Caper is an afternoon of Christmas food and fun with a uniquely scientific flavour. There is a Science Games Grotto to test the imagination and skill of young and old, with all IC departments engaged in various forms of madness joined by the Science Museum Launch Pad, St Mary's and Olave House. You can make your own Christmas presents in the craft workshop-capture your handprint in plaster or your sillhouette on paper and give to all your friends (to sell for huge sums when you're famous); or design and print your own personalised Christmas cards on an Apple Mac. For entertainment, John Smith will make his last Christmas food in abundance and the draw for the spectacular official appearance as MC; Dramsoc Christmas Caper raffle (first prize a Z88 computer) will should be sufficiently recovered from Woyzeck to top off the day. engage in a Christmas pantomime; Geoff Parsons and Proceeds of the Caper go to St Mary's Open Clinic his RSM cohorts will present a Merry Miners Playspace, which supports homeless and 'bed and Entertainment; and various other erstwhile serious breakfast' families. We also ask that gifts be brought types will be wandering around in silly costumes by children to be given to Playspace and St Mary's (watch out for Jim Gibb of Physics making his debut Children's Ward. as Father Christmas and Martin Douglas of Mines modelling the latest in haute couture for Christmas elves).

E l Sunday 17th December 2.30pm - 5.30pm Tickets £2 adults £1 under 14s under 5s free Available from Departmental Superintendents or HUB, Sherfield 355, ext 3021

Paddington Holier bares than reply thou? Dear Dave, re: FELIX issue 851 There was-much said against our Dean in this issue. We feel that what precipitated the attack is a lack of understanding as to the way of life at St Mary's. In order to explain and justify actions that have taken place and to prevent similar problems occuring in the future, you must have more information from us about Mary's and you should communicate this information to the student body through FELIX.

n The Medical School is very conscious of its role within the hospital and always bears in mind the image it portrays to the general public. Concern for this image is exhibited by staff and students, particularly clinical students who are an integral part of the health care system. Being part of a team is therefore important to patient welfare, and the attitude of the students is one of being part of the institution, as opposed to working against it. This attitude continues beyond the confines of the ward and, in issues concerning the public image of the Medical School, the Union and the Medical School administration work together. Applying this to the events surrounding FELIX issue 850, displaying pornographic material in a hospital environment would have caused public offence, and would have damaged the relationship between St Mary's and the community that it serves. We therefore fully support the Dean's efforts in trying to uphold public respect for the Medical School.

n Clearly many things are done differently in Paddington as opposed to South Kensington we should not miss the opportunity to inform people about how St Mary's is run, and what it is doing. We talked some time ago about having a regular contribution to FELIX from St Mary's. We feel that this would do much to prevent problems occurring in the future. Also, by having something relevant to Mary's life in FELIX, more people at Paddington would start reading the publication. This would help people at St Mary's to start to understand the way of life at South Kensington. With best wishes, Rhydian Hapgood, President SMHMS SU. Andrew Klava, Vice President lExt). Simon Smith, Vice President (Int).

Up yours Alumnus Office Dear Dave, Do you think that the 'Welcome Back' Alumnus poster is supposed to look like a two fingered salute from a distance? Yours sincerely, Ralph Greenwell. Page 30

Dear FELIX, As I am not a member of IC Christian Union, I cannot argue from exactly their standpoint, but as a Christian, i feel sure they will agree with at least some of what I have to say. It seems to me that Rupert Sheldon (the 'Satanist' FELIX 1st Dec) is the one that does not understand what sex or sexuality is. I believe that since God created us all, our sexuality is an integral part of our everyday lives, and no one can really live without it. However, I am talking about sex as an expression of love and affection, and not the act of sexual intercourse. Sexual intercourse is a 'uniting of flesh', and as such should only be indulged in when the two people concerned are totally committed to each other, ie, have taken the vows of marriage. Sexual intercourse outside of marriage can be a very damaging experience emotionally, aside from the risks of pregnancy, STDs etc. As for God not loving him because he doesn't know God, try this example: if a rich Japanese businessman (whom Rupert had never seen beforel decided that he would pay off every IC student's bank overdraft, would that not be a sign of the businessman's love and care for IC students, even though none of us knew him? I think the parallels are obvious. 'Men and women concerned about their personal rights should stand up and say' YES to God's forgiveness, and His promise of eternal life, by admitting their mistakes and turning to Christ. Yours sincerely, Neil Dinmore, Mech Eng 2. PS. My opinion on the 'offending' issue of FELIX, is that the article was very good, but that the pictures on the cover were completely unnecessary.

Fisher's fucking freezing

the number of showers in operation even further for the residents of Fisher Hall. The fan, the only possible source of ventilation in the bathroom, has been broken since we arrived, contravening health laws. Likewise, fire regulations are not being enforced, as the fire alarm failing to operate during a fire test at least four weeks ago is still out of order. We have repeatedly complained about each problem as it occurred; which in each case was at least three weeks ago. We have been informed by the sub-wardens that these faults have been reported to house 44, but nothing has been repaired. Yours shiveringly, The occupants of flat 18 Fisher Hall. PS. Many thanks to the workmen, who, today did nothing, but left a wooden ladder suitable for firewood-we considered burning it to gain warmth, but realised that this was potentially dangerous, especially since the fire alarm does not work.

Apathy rules OK? Dear Dave I am writing this letter sitting in Tuesday's Council on which I am an Ordinary member as elected at a UGM last year. It is the middle of Neil McCluskey's report. It seems to me that Neil, amongst other officers, is getting pissed off with the attitude of the normal IC student. By writing this letter I am pre-empting the UGM on Thursday. I think that the UGM will be not be quorate, and even if it is, it will only be because of a contentious motion. Perhaps to get people to attend, a UGM might have to decide on its future in each UGM? As you are a student you are entitled to join any ICU club or society. Most of these clubs rely on other officers of the Union to promote their interests. It is therefore in the interest of any club or society member to turn up at UGMs and question the officers and sabbaticals. Even if you are not a club or society member, the Union is acting on your behalf when representing you to College and external bodies. The fact that you are reading this letter means you have a FELIX and are therefore using some ICU facility.

It is about time that some of the ordinary students of IC bothered to get interested, to show up at UGMs and to ask their representatives what is going on. Without the officers of the Union, and therefore without your representation, clubs, societies, bars, bookshops etc. your time as a student at IC will be crap to say the least. Either turn up, get interested or let apathy rule IC Dear Sweetie-pie, and lose your club and your rights. How's things with you? 'Cos it's bloody freezing Yours, down here in flat 18 Fisher Hall. Regarding the articles Joe Fernley in last week's FELIX on living standards in the Elec Eng 2 salubrious residences of Evelyn Gardens! Having overcome the initial problem of entering the flat, fighting our way through a jungle of rubbish, (which was eventually removed after complaining for several days), the fun begins:- . The one and only .jdiator does not work, leaving the whole flat to be heated, by two mini convection heaters situated so high up that levitation seems to be the only answer! Meals cooked in open pans on the cooker hobs have the occasional added ingredient of plaster falling from the hole in the ceiling above the cooker. Fortunately the shower water that also .fell from the aforementioned hole has ceased; a result of the shower above being locked, not fixed, thus limiting

There go your job prospects... Dear Editor,

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¯¸¸­¯s ¨ o become Œ§¼ ªÀ¼¯d in ¨Še 'mea¨ ôþÜáøÚ' ¤e ¯§ª¿ª­¸. ú¯½ª§žĂ€ÂŽ Ă“ if ¨Še à ª¿¯n Œ§¼ ªÀ¼¯d ¤e seen ¨ Š¤¼ ¨ ¤Ý¯ ¨Š¤¨ çèÊ ¨Š¯ ¨Š¤¨ ĂŚ o e a choiceĂ“ and n doĂ“ n ¨Š¯ ¯â¯½Œ¸¯ ÂŽ choice is db m on behalf of all à ª¿¯§. ¨Š ¤Ž ¸ ½Œ¯¨Ž ¯½Œ¯¼¯ ÂŻ Ăź ÂŞ The define e Ă s Ă ÂŞÂż n and ¨ ¨ ° ¨ à ª¿¯§ºs bodies making i impossible o ºŒ §ªe i if ÂŽ ª­ don'¨ like ά ' as he ¸­°°¯¸¨ ¸. ¯¤Ă€Ă€ÂŽ ʯÀŒ¯¼¯s ª§ª°¤ŠŽ ª¨ ¤Žs à ª¿¯n If MGJ ­¤ ¨Š ­°° ¨ º¸¯§¸ as l beings' ÂŻn I ¸ ¯¸ he has §¯¼¯ been ¸­ĂŠĂŁ ¯½¨ ÂŻd ¨o ª§ª°¤ŠŒc ¿¤¨ ¯Œ¤Ă€. One is lef¨ à Œ¨ h ¯¸¸Œªn of à ª¿¯n as ¤¸¸Œ¼ e ¸¯â ­¤l ÂŞĂŠĂŁ ¯½¨ ¸Ă“ an ÂŚÂż ýÞÿÿÞ g ¤¨ Œ½Œ¤§¨s in ¸¯â ­¤l ÂĽÂŚÂŞĂ€¯§½¯Ă“ ¯§ã ªŽŒ§g ¤¯Ă“ ç ¨Š ­¨ g 'no' n ĂŚ èÊ mean ºŽ¯¸ºĂ“ as bodies Ă ÂŚ ÂŞ Ă€Œ¨Ž ¸Š ¨ º¨ ά ­ ¸º ÂŹ ¯¸ §¤ minds feelings o . In ÂŞ s&ĂŠ Âż . ÂŞ

n has no¨ ½ª§ž­½¨ ÂŻd ¸­ Œ½Œ¯§¨ ¯¸¯¤½Š; Li Ă€ ¨Š ¨ ­ ° Š e links ĂŠÂŻ Ă ÂŻÂŻn ª§ª ¤ ÂŽ and ¸¯â ¤l ÂĽÂŚÂŞ ¯§½e ÂŻ ½ŠŒĂ€ž¯n canno¨ easilÂŽ be agains Ă ÂŞÂż n and ¨ ¨­ž ¨ŠŒ dismissed. Recen ¸ ÂŚÂŻs shoĂ s ¿ªe ½ª§½Ă€­¸Œ¼¯Ă€ÂŽ ¨Š¤n ¨Šª¸e linking smoking and ½¤§½¯. Ă€ ¨¨ ¨ ­ ¨ If mÂŽ ÂŻ ÂŻÂŹ is beginning o ¸ª §d like feminis

ªª°¤§ža ¨Š¯n le¨ me ¯ž¯¸s ¨Še balance. ž° ž ¨ ¨ ¨ ¨ ° Š ¡ª§ª ¤ ÂŽ is no solelÂŽ a ÂŻ ¤ Τg ¯¤ ¿¯§ of ­¯Ă€ÂŽ ¨ ¤ ¯âĂ€ ά ÂŻ ÂŽ ¨Š ÂŤ ÂŹ ¯§ Ă ÂŞÂż . Ăş ÂŞ d b e ÂŞn men ÂŞo e Œ§ž­¸¨ ÂŹÂŽ. To ¸­°°¯¸¨ ¨Š¤¨ men ¤e ½ª§¨ ªÀÀ¯d and ¨ Œ¼¤¨ ÂŻ ÂŽ ¨Š¯Œ ¸¯â ­¤Ă€Œ¨Ž ­ã ¨ ¨ ¿ª d b and ¤e ¸ ĂŠ ¯½ o ¸¯â ­¤ žŒ¼ ÂŻ ¨ ÂŽ ¨Š¤¨ ¤ Ă€ ¨¨Ă€ e l s is o sa men e ÂŚ e ¨¨ ¨Š °­ ° Š ĂŠÂŻ ÂŻÂŹ ¤n animals. Some ¤ e ª§ª ¤ ÂŽ ª¼Œž¯s some men à Œ¨ h a ÂŹÂŻĂ€¯¤¸e à ŠŒ½h à ª­Ă€d ¨Š ¨­ ¨ °­ ¨Š ¨ ÂŞ ¯à Œ¸e be §¯d agains à ª¿¯§. I ¤ e ¤ ¸¯â ­¤l ÂĽÂŚÂŞĂ€¯§½e ¸Šª­Ă€d no¨ be º¨ ¯¤¨ ¯ž' à Œ¨ h ª§ª°¤ŠŒc ¿¤¨ ¯Œ¤l à ŠŒ½h ¯§½ª­¤°¯s ¨Še Ă€ ¨ ¤ž Š ­Ă€¨ ¨Š s ÂŞĂ s à ª¿¯n à Œ½h ¯¸ in e ÂŤÂŹÂŞĂŠ ÂŻm ¨Š Âť Œ¸¨ in e place. ¸¨ ¤§d agains¨ ª§ª°¤ŠŽ is no¨ an ¯â¤¿Ă€e of A Âş §°Ă€ªðú¤â ÂŞn ­ž¯Ž ºÓ and does no¨ denÂŽ à ª¿¯n ¨Š¯Œ ¸¯â ­¤Ă€Œ¨Ž ¨ ¸¤ŽŒ§ ¨Š¤¨ ¸Š ­Ă€ and men ; i is g people ÂŞ d ¨ ¨Š¯Œ ­¤Ă€Œ¨Ž ¨ ¸¯â and no be be able o define ÂŞĂ n ¸­ĂŠĂŁ ¯½¨ ÂŻd ¨ o images in ¿¤°¤ Œ§¯s à ŠŒ½h define hoà ç Ă€ ç Š ­Ă€ ¨ ĂŚ èÊ Ă ÂŚ l be seen and hoĂ ĂŚ èÊ ¸ ÂŞ d ¤½ . J C Woodhouse.

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BEANS C L U B Intimate dinners for four arranged personally Contact P . Shanley c/o M a t h s 3

What's O n AN UP-TO-THE-MINUTE GUIDE TO EVENTS IN AND AROUND IMPERIAL $% COLLEGE-IF YOU HAVE ANY CHANGES FOR # T TERM TELL US!

WEDNESDAY g 12.30pm Outside Southside for sailing. p 12.30pm Southside Gym with Vicky. s 1.00pm Senior Common Room, Union Building. g 1.00pm Union Gym. Beginners lessons. e 2.15pm SCR. Dance Club. n 2.20pm Meet outside Chem Eng/Aero. n 3.00pm Union Lounge. Instructor Hong Chun Lai. Martial art for all ages and sexes. s 3.15pm SCR. & 3.30pm Union Gym. s 6.30pm IC Sports Centre. Enthusiastic new members welcome—any ability. 7.30pm ' Union Gym. Experts class. E 9.00pm In the Union Lounge Nightclub until 1am.

THURSDAY n Chaplaincy.

8.15am

o See Tuesday's entry. C Union Gym. Every week. i See Tuesday's entry. (

12.30pm 12.30pm

G 9.00pm Meet Week's Hall Basement Kitchen. Deliver food to London's down and outs.

12.30pm

FRIDAY

..12.30pm

g 12.30pm Southside Upper Lounge. Come and get high. g 12.35pm Union Lounge. ) 1.00pm Southside Gym. Organised by IC Islamic Society. g 4.30pm Union Gym. Beginners lessons. p 6.00pm Southside Gym with Janet. n 6.00pm Room 308 Computing. n 6.30pm Flying in Gloucester. Meet outside balloon garage. g 6.30pm Prince's Gardens Sports Centre. New members welcome-all levels of ability. g 6.40pm Union Gym. Every week. 7.30pm * Prince's Gardens Sports Centre. New members welcome-all levels of ability. C 8.30pm Southside. E 9.00pm 'Energy Orchard' play in the Union Lounge. Tickets £2 from Union Office. Late bar & disco.

Chemistry 231. Everyone welcome. F 1.00pm ICSF Library (below Beit). Members can borrow from 1700 books. A 12.30 Southside Upper Lounge. Sign up for weekend break. Everyone welcome. h 1.00pm Huxley 314. IC Amnesty International with IC Debating Society and Tim Janman MP. n 1.00pm Southside Upper Lounge. Come and check us out, sign up for a weekend in the sky. p 5.30pm Southside Gym with Alice. e 6.00pm Union Dining Hall. Extra special-come and pass the port in our port tasting. o 6.30pm Union Gym. c 7.30pm Mech Eng 220. 50p members, £1.50 others. e 7.30pm Southside Gym. C 8.30pm Next to Southside Bar.

CITY & GUILDS C O L L E G E UNION

38th DINNER & DANCE 9th F E B R U A R Y , 1990 cocktail reception * 4 course dinner * wine * port * coffee & petits fours * band * magician £75 D O U B L E T I C K E T WALDORF HOTEL Tickets f r o m G u i l d s O f f i c e o n sale 9 a m , T u e s d a y 5th D e c e m b e r BE ON T I M E - T H E Y SELL OUT VERY QUICKLY

Ents—Energy Orchard, Friday Don't go home for Christmas. Well not yet anyway. At least stay until this Friday (15th), when you can see The Energy Orchard live on stage at the Christmas extravaganza in the Union Lounge. This fine band play a mixture of hard-rocking songs and slow lilting tunes telling stories of love, hate and Belfast. Playing North London pubs two years ago, Energy Orchard were recognised for the talents they have and soon had gigs at major London venues, including The Marquee and Imperial College. After much media interest and attention from record

R C C bonanza Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to introduce the great Recreational Clubs Committee bonanza. The failure of anyone to admit their existence means that I am able to announce vacancies for Chairpeople of the following clubs: Air Cooled Volkswagen; Bridge, Chess; Waterski. These clubs have Union grants and assets available to support their operation. If you wish to take on the duties of caretaker Chairperson contact me. I can give you details of what is on offer. The best time to find me is at the RCC Treasurer's Meeting, in the Union Office, 12.30 to 1.00pm every Wednesday. All I will ask is that you write an article for Felix to

ADVERTISE IN THE FELIX SMALL ADS SECTION company spies, they finally signed a huge deal with E IF YOU ARE A MEMBER OF IMPERIAL MCA and are on the brink of releasing their debut COLLEGE UNION album. After the New Year the band are off to America for a tour of just about every corner of every S state. Watch out for the lead singer's death defying Hospital Medical School presents + speaker stack jump. Be there! Tickets are £2 in 'Gut Girls' from 12-14th December. Starts at advance. From the Union Office. Disco and late bar. 7.30pm. Prices £2.50-£3.00. See you at the Christmas extravaganza, doors open + Society Christmas Party. Thursday at 9pm. 14th December. 7.30 Union Crush Bar. 3 winter s ales and traditional cider. £5 all you can drink (£6 non-members). Be there and get drunk. + goes to Electrowerkz paintball. Tuesday 12th December, 6pm, Southside. Be there or be splotted! introduce yourself to potential members and to invite them to attend a start-up meeting. Funds for additional publicity may be provided by the RCC. If you can hold committee post elections and collect subscriptions from 16 people, the club grant will be released. So then, budding recreationalists, get organised and collar me. Finally, if you think you are running any of the above clubs, you better have a good reason for ignoring the procedures that the Union has for helping its members. See me soon or you may lose control of your club.

m

Dance club balls Imperial College Dance Club has done very well this term. We have exceeded our full quota of 140 members already and hope new members will join next term. The lessons will continue as timetabled this term with a few exceptions. The Jazz class has been cancelled as there was not enough interest. The second beginners' Rock ' n ' Roll class, started due to popular demand, has been brought forward to 2.15pm on Wednesday. A new 'Total Beginner's Ballroom Class' will start next term for those of you who want a crash course for your balls! This is being held at 6.00pm on Tuesdays in the JCR. PLease note that the Rock ' n ' Roll and Latin American classes will not start until week three (Jan 22nd) as our instructor, Vicki Cunniffe, is taking two teams to compete in America. The Ballroom lessons, however, will run as from

January 8th. For those of you who don't already know the full timetable please see the What's On section in each FELIX edition, or consult the Dance Club noticeboard (Sherfield Walkway). In addition to the lessons we have run two major events. The first was the BBC Children in Need 24-hour sponsored dance, where we raised over £50C_. The second event was the London Ball held on December 2nd which was attended by of 250 people. Before the year is out we plan to host a Barn Dance and our Annual Dinner Dance. Everyone is welcome. Finally, I would like to thank everyone who has helped out, with particular thanks to the instructors Vicki and Christine. Have a happy Christmas and hope to see you all next term.

Environment friendly What does 'conservation' bring to mind? Green wellies and Range Rovers? Wrong!! Tim Boote from the British Trust of Conservation Volunteers (BTCV) dispelled that myth at last Thursdays' Environmental Society lecture, as he described their work. BTCV is the largest practical conservation group in the UK. They differ from the usual image of conservationists because they involve everybody, i.e. if you are old enough to walk or young enough to wield a spade and you care about your surroundings then you're welcome to join in. Projects vary nationwideeverything from drystone walling, to building footpaths and bridges-there is a very successful urban conservation scheme. This involves creating local habitats and gardens on any available bit of waste ground, tucked away behind office blocks and tenements including Tower Hamlets and Cambridge Circus (on Charing Cross Road), where urban nature areas were created, not to mention old cemeteries such as Highgate which have unique wooded and Page 34

Small A d s

grassland habitats to manage. The best thing about many of these projects is that they involve children and both racial and sexual minorities, not just white middle-class people, who usually have the monopoly on environmental issues. Expertese isn't' necessary either, you're taught everything you need to know for the day, there and then. The fun doesn't just stop at weekday and weekend one day projects, BTCV run a whole series of working holidays all aroi id the country involving every aspect of conservation and management, and plenty of coffee breaks! So, if you feel like getting muddy, learning the intricacies of woodland and wildlife management, how to use various tools, or fancy trying your hand at a bit of drystone walling or you want to improve your local environment, then get involved with BTCV. For more details contact: Tim Boote-01-278 4293.

8pm Great Hall, 8th December.

+

N to let in large house. Available for one month from January 20th, maybe longer. Contact Graham on 622 3290 evenings. +

R for sale-Morantz amp, receiver & speakers, pioneer t/t, Shure cartridge, JVC cassette. Mature. Good condition. £ 2 0 ono. 01-609 7051 + Nad amp, dual turntable, KEF coda speakers, 12" TV (B&W), Yamaha classical guitar. Any offers please contact Farshad (int 4351). -set of 10" pram wheels. Finantial + incentive will be available. Contact Guy Mayer through Mech Eng 2 pigeonholes. + wanted for a casual rowing VIII. Training once a week. Call Ed Hewitt at 937 4827 or write to Mech Eng 1. +

L to all the hosts who made the Cocktail Party such a success.. Love Murray & Ralph. + if you didn't turn up, we hope your next shit is a hedgehog. Hate from Murray & Ralph. + if you gate crashed (you know who you are!). + -if you want to see your sing in one piece again, pay £ 2 0 to Rag by the end of term...or else...B.U.M.P. not happy + In fact she's grim 'Cos she went sailing And went for a swim. was conned! + + is short Carol is sweet but, dear oh dear What smelly feet + Presentable young man to take attractive first year to C&G Ball. Will pay share. Interview will be required. Apply Miss W (Life Sci pigeonholes). +

Cartoonists Do you fancy drawing a cartoon strip for FELIX? We are hoping to produce a comic as a supplement to FELIX soon. If you would like to contribute, contact Dave Smedley in the FELLX Office. Why not work on an idea over the holiday?

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