http://felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1990/1990_0884_A

Friday 23rd November Issue Number 884

ICU Finance Officer Resigns p2 R e d L i o n atthe Queens Tower p2

Vipers pi0,11

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Red Lion Appears Overnight Brad Swan, General Expenses and T r a v e l (College), said that the cost for c l e a n i n g w i l l be b e t w e e n £ 2 0 0 a n d £ 2 3 0 .

A s i m i l a r i n c i d e n t h a p p e n e d five years ago, w h e n b o t h lions w e r e p a i n t e d . T h e bi ll then, for s a n d blasting, w a s i n the r e g i o n of £ 4 0 0 .

L a t e o n T u e s d a y e v e n i n g , a student r e p o r t e d that s o m e b o d y h a d p a i n t e d r e d o n e of the t w o lions outside the e n t r a n c e to the Q u e e n ' s t o w e r . T h e d e e d t o o k p l a c e b e t w e e n 7 . 0 0 p m a n d 1 l.OOpm.Distressed I C U H o n Sec, M u r r a y W i l l i a m s o n , w a s a s k e d w h e t h e r he k n e w a n y t h i n g about it. H e h a d spotted the w o r d s ' R e g g i i ' o n the base, a n d a r e d

' K C R ' o n the d o o r n e a r b y , a n d a s s u m e d that K i n g ' s C o l l e g e w e r e r e s p o n s i b l e .

B e n T u r n e r , U n i o n D e p u t y President, thought the p r a n k was f u n n y as the U n i o n w i l l n o t h a v e to p a y for it.

T h e v a n d a l s used a r e d v i n y l e m u l s i o n paint to coat the l i o n . It w a s r e m o v e d o n Wednesday afternoon using a high pressure w a t e r hose a n d de-emulsifier.

LSE Drops Fees T h e L o n d o n S c h o o l of E c o n o m i c s (LSE) has d r o p p e d its plans to c h a r g e t u i t i o n fees. Students w o u l d h a v e b e e n c h a r g e d an a m o u n t a b o v e the m a n d a t o r y grant to c o v e r rising costs.

U n i v e r s i t y C o l l e g e L o n d o n (UCL) still has plans to i n t r o d u c e t u i t i o n fees for L a w a n d M e d i c i n e , their t w o most sought after courses, a n d discussions o n fees are c e r t a i n l y o n Imperial's a g e n d a .

T h e P r o v o s t of U C L b e l i e v e s that i n t r o d u c i n g fees w i l l not r e d u c e the

Reggie Resigns R e g g i e B l e n n e r h a s s e t t, the U n i o n F i n a n c e Officer, r e s i g n e d y e s t e r d a y . H e w i l l be t a k i n g up the post of D e p u t y F i n a n c e Officer at the R o y a l V e t e r i n a r y C o l l e g e in C a m d e n f r o m t h e 1st J a n u a r y 1991.

R e g g i e j o i n e d the U n i o n i n J a n u a r y 1988 a n d started to sort out the S n a c k Bar accounts. Since t h e n he has m o v e d onto clubs a n d societies, r e d u c i n g the w o r k of the a u d i t o r s e a c h y e a r a n d a l l o w i n g clubs to sort t h e m s e l v e s out financially. H e w i l l be s o r e l y m i s s e d b y the U n i o n . S o o n after R e g g i e 's r e s i g n a t i o n , M a r g a r e t T h a t c h e r t h r e w in the t o w e l herself.

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n u m b e r of a p p l i c a n t s for the t w o courses.

T h i s c o u l d also a p p l y to s o m e of Imperial's o v e r s u b s c r i b e d courses.

T h e a c t i o n b y L S E puts more" pressure o n U C L to d r o p their plans, a m o v e that w o u l d please t h e students' u n i o n there as t h e y h a v e stated that t h e y w i l l e n c o u r a g e p r o s p e c t i v e students to a p p l y e l s e w h e r e if fees are i n t r o d u c e d .

Benjamin Turner, Union Deputy President, s a i d that d r o p p i n g plans for fees was 'a b l o o d y g o o d m o v e . '

Correction T o n i g h t ' s Guilds C a r n i v a l w i l l cost £ 5 o n the d o o r . B r i n g y o u r U n i o n C a r d s . 'This is straight from t h e horses' m o u t h ' said Lucia.

C l e a n i n g was p e r f o r m e d b y ' E u r o p e a n Specialist C l e a n i n g ' , the s a m e c o m p a n y that c l e a n e d the lions p r e v i o u s l y . O n e of the m e n d o i n g the w o r k s a i d that it w a s 'quite a job' to c l e a n . Geoff Reeves, Chief S e c u r i t y Officer, said that 'if w e h a v e to sandblast the lions m u c h m o r e , w e ' l l e n d up w i t h a c o u p l e of b l o o d y m i c e ' .

No-one c o u l d say w h e t h e r the C o l l e g e is i n s u r e d against v a n d a l i s m , m o s t security b e i n g c o n c e r n e d w i t h p a t r o l l i n g inside a n d not outside the b u i l d i n g s .

Chris T u r n e r , K i n g ' s C o l l e g e U n i o n Societies a n d S e r v i c e s s a b b a t i c a l, a d m i t t e d that 'it seems to be the w o r k of K i n g ' s ' .

H e said that there was no r a g r a i d p l a n n e d a n d that 'rag is n o t until n e x t t e r m ' . H e suggested that it was 'a few p e o p l e w h o got pissed a n d w e n t a bit o v e r the top'.

Security Last F r i d a y saw a n o t h e r c y c l e c o d i n g session, r u n b y c o l l e g e s e c u r i t y to try to r e d u c e the large n u m b e r of b i c y c l e thefts that o c c u r a r o u n d the c o l l e g e . M r B r i l l e y , S e c u r i t y Officer, said that t h e r e h a d been • 'a v e r y g o o d response, w e ' r e v e r y pleased.' 130 p e o p l e h a d b r o u g h t items i n to be c o d e d .

T w o c y c l e s that had not b e e n c o d e d w e r e stolen o n T u e s d a y , o n e from outside the S c i e n c e M u s e u m , the o t h e r from outside H u x l e y . M r B r i l l e y c o m p l a i n e d that neither had b e e n fitted w i t h D-locks a n d that c ha i ns are not s t r o n g e n o u g h to secure b i c y c l e s .

M r B r i l l e y a d d e d that a n y loss s h o u l d be r e p o r t e d to h i m o n i n t e r n a l 3370. T h i s includes items s t o l e n from halls of resi dence s i n c e i n s u r a n c e c l a i m s , w h i c h must be assessed b y s e c u r i t y , s h o u l d be b a c k e d up w i t h a report of the theft.

IC Rag in Dispute A s t o r m has b l o w n up this w e e k b e t w e e n IC R a g a n d Cardiff's ' R a g C a e r d y d d ' .

T h e r e has been b a d feeling b u i l d i n g up for s o m e t i m e a n d it c a m e to a he ad last F r i d a y w h e n a letter r e c e i v e d b y F E L I X was released to Steve F a r r a n t , IC R a g C h a i r m a n . W r i t t e n b y Sue B o u r n e from Cardiff, it c o n t a i n e d allegations against IC R a g a n d the R a g E x e c u t i v e in p a r t i c u l a r.

T h e most w o r r y i n g aspect of the letter

are suggestions of d i s h o n e s t y a n d theft a m o n g s t the E x e c , e s p e c i a l l y d u r i n g the recent M o n o p o l y c o l l e c t i o n . Steve s t r o n g l y b e l i e v e s that if theft d i d o c c u r it w a s not the fault of 1C R a g m e m b e r s . H e suggests that the organisers, M e n c a p d i d not take a d e q u a t e security measures.

T h e r e is not e n o u g h space to c o v e r the matter fully, but the c o m p l e t e story w i l l be c o v e r e d n e x t w e e k .

Rag Roundup T w o collectors, Martin H e i g h w a y a n d Peter B o w e n , h a v e rased S I 0 0 0 e a c h for r a g since the b e g i n n i n g of t e r m .

A southside resident, D o m i n i c J e n k i n , has c o l l e c t e d £ 6 6 so far f r o m p e o p l e s i g n i n g the plaster cast o n his b r o k e n a r m . H e does not hope to m a k e it a n annual event Last F r i d a y ' s H y p n o s i s L e c t u r e , a l t h o u g h not as p o p u l a r as last year, attracted a close to c a p a c i t y a u d i e n c e . It has p r o v e d to b e o n e of t h e best fund r a i s i n g events, w i t h p e o p l e r e t u r n i n g e v e r y y e a r . It m a d e o v e r £ 1 0 0 0 .

Tuesday's slave auction rased nearly £ 7 0 0 . T h e highest bids w e r e a l l £ 5 0 .

C l a i r e G o d f e r y w a s bought b y M . M i c h a i l i d i a , o n his o w n , L o u i s e Rafferty & S u z a n n e A h m e t b y the Guilds R u g b y Club a n d M u r r a y Williamson b y City & Guilds U n i o n . T h e y w e r e c l o s e l y f o l l o w e d b y K a t e D a l t o n , bought b y her a d m i r e r K a r l E d w i n for £ 4 5 a n d S a r a h R u s h o l m for £ 4 1 - see front c o v e r .

S C A B Night m a d e o n l y a s m a l l profit, C o m e d y Night a n d the B a r n D a n c e l o s i n g m o n e y . B a r staff at the B a r n D a n c e said that 'the turnout s u c k e d , as d i d the o r g a n i s a t i o n . ' W h e n q u e s t i o n e d further the staff t o l d F e l i x that the J C R h a d b e e n d e s e r t ed w h e n t h e y a r r i v e d at 7.30 a n d

JOIN

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that no c h a i r s o r tables h a d b e e n m o v e d .

O n e of the staff c o m m e n t e d that ' W e thought it'd b e e n c a n c e l l e d ! ' .

The incredibly hard Bar Quiz o n Wednesday was w o n b y the Phallix Players F . U . , a team from the Felix Office. It raised £ 1 3 0 a n d w a s e n j o y e d b y all i n v o l v e d (especially those w h o g a i n e d J i v e - B u n n y T-shirts a n d posters). It c a n be t r u l y d e s c r i b e d as a r e c o r d b r e a k i n g e v e n t as n o t o n e J i v e - B u n n y 4 5 r e m a i n e d intact b y the e n d of the e v e n i n g .

E x e c Initiative, the process of losing C C U Presidents a n d the I C U e x e c

W O R L D

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somewhere in England a n d expecting t h e m to r e t u r n to IC b y t h e i r wits, h a d a n u n e x p e c t e d twist this y e a r . M u r r a y W i l l i a m s o n , I C U H o n Sec, together w i t h C a t h y M c C l a y , Guilds President, p e r s u a d e d t h e R a g t e a m t o stop for a group p h o t o g r a p h . A l t h o u g h c h a i n e d together at t h e feet, t h e y o u t w i t t e d the t e a m b y d r i v i n g off i n t h e i r transport.

T h e m a i n f o r t h c o m i n g R a g events a r e the Guilds C a r n i v a l t o n i g h t ( £ 4 . 5 0 i n t h e Union) a n d t h e M i n e s D i r t y Disco o n M o n d a y ( £ 2 . 5 0 i n the J C R , F R E E naked!).

C O M P U T E R

N E T W O R K I N G

Madge Networks is a fast-growing British company,

Principally, opportunities exist in the following areas:

operating internationally through offices in the USA

•

Software Development

and in Japan. It has become a world leader in the

•

Production Management • Technical Support

•

Sales and Marketing

rapidly-expanding token ring networking market.

• Hardware Development • Financeand Administration

This young company has achieved a great deal in a

Al[ roles offer challenging opportunities within the UK

very short time and now seeks enthusiastic graduates

operation and overseas subsidiaries for ambitious and

to fulfil new expansion plans.

outstanding graduates. Salaries will be in excess of £17,500 p.a. for the right candidates.

Come to our informal presentation and find out more about Madge Networks.

Committee Rooms 317A & B, Imperial College 20th November 1990,7-9pm Wine and buffet available

Alternatively you could pick up details from the careers office or contact Julie Wood on 0494 765651 for more information.

M a d g e N e t w o r k s L i m i t e d , 100 L o d g e L a n e , C h a l f o n t S t G i l e s . B u c k i n g h a m s h i r e H P 8 4 A H . T e l e p h o n e : 0 4 9 4 7 6 5 6 5 1

M A D G E The Power to Connect

N E T W O R K S

L I M I T E D

T H E

R I N G

L E A D E R

REVIEWS

x o r c i s t III

( T h i s is the official s e q u e l to T h e Exorcist, w h i c h naturally enough ' m a k e s it the t h i r d in t h e series.

Ignore the s e c o n d as it is an e n o r m o u s t u r k e y w h i c h gobbles at a n y o n e w h o w i l l listen. T h i s n e w film c a n also be c a l l e d ' L e g i o n ' for those of y o u w h o haven't lost us b y n o w . H a v i n g said this, the film possesses (sorry) v e r y little s e m b l a n c e to the o r i g i n a l ie. a distinct l a c k of s w i v e l l i n g heads, fluorescent v o m i t a n d L i n d a B l a i r . In her p l a c e is 'Patient X ' (Jason Miller) w h o w h i l e not possessing the flair for r e g u r g i t a t i o n of his illustrious p r e d e c e s s o r has a nifty w a y w i t h a s y r i n g e a n d a n u n c a n n y r e s e m b l a n c e to F a t h e r K a r r a s (the unfortunate e x o r c i s t f r o m the first film). T h e w o r d ' e x o r c i s m ' is m u c h too h a r d to spell a n d w i l l h e n c e f o r t h be r e p l a c e d b y the w o r d 'poodle'.

The story r e v o l v e s (sorry again) a r o u n d a series of H O R R I F I C s e r i a l k i l l i n g s . T h e s e d a s t a r d l y d e e ds (Muttley snigger) are p e r p e t r a t e d in the e x a c t st y l e of a k i l l e r who fried c r i s p y i n the e l e c t r i c c h a i r fifteen years a g o , U N C A N N I L Y close to the first p o o d l e .

Our h u n k y hero in this m e r r y jaunt is

Fred

FRED HRD REACHED CHAPTER TWO. 'THE A R T OF FOREPLAY'

As a g r a d u a t e of the U n i v e r s i t y of Life ( w h e r e y o u go if y o u can't get into UCL), R u p e r t F a w c e t t has created Fred, w h o , along w i t h supporting cast tries to s h o w a funny side to e v e r y d a y life.

The c a r t o o n s range from the p r o f o u n d to the confusing, s o m e are a c t u a l l y funny.

The style of s i n g l e frame c a r t o o n s is not my favourite, it is too d e p e n d e n t o n y o u r sense of h u m o u r . Indeed, m a n y of the panels c o u l d not be d e s c r i b e d as funny, just o d d , 'social c o m m e n t ' if y o u w a n t to be pretentious.

The q u a l i t y of d r a w i n g is n o t h i n g special a l t h o u g h this means v e r y little as s o m e of the best cartoonists c a n n o t d r a w very well.

A r e a s o n a b l e b o o k but quite e x p e n s i v e at n e a r l y ÂŁ 5 , but m a y b e a g o o d C h r i s t m a s present.

Ian H o d g e .

I

p l a y e d b y the i n d o m i t a b l e G e o r g e C .

Scott w h o w a v e r s b e t w e e n d i s / b e l i e f a n d seems u n d e t e r r e d b y the catalogue of V E R I T A B L E A T R O C I T I E S t a k i n g place

u n d e r his v e r y nose (formidable o r g a n that it is). H e is a n honest b o b b y w h o has a c u r i o u s i n a b i l i t y to n o t i c e grannies c r a w l i n g fly-like a b o v e his h e a d . O u r d o u g h t y hero w a d e s t h r o u g h a morass of

confused r e l i g i o u s i c o n o g r a p h y w i t h troubled retrospection. Nothing very frightening h a p p e n s for an h o u r e x c e p t P r i s o n e r X c l a i m i n g that he is not o n l y responsible but d o u b l y possessed. G e o r g e agrees.

At this p o i n t the film shifts into true willy-tremblingly frightening mode with o n e e x c e p t i o n a l l y u n s e t t l i n g sequence (details of w h i c h w e w i l l n o t give here).

T h i s is the h i g h point of the m o v i e ; after this w e are t r e a t e d to r a b i d grannies a n d g a r d e n shears; a priest turns up w i t h o u t v e r y m u c h justification a n d attempts a quick poodle.

To s u m up: this film features a v e r y g o o d p e r f o r m a n c e from the possessed g e n t l e m a n i n his s o l i t a r y c e l l a n d most of the v i o l e n c e is i m p l i e d ; t h e o n l y gore is s a v e d for the c l i m a x . V e r y tense in places a n d v e r y s l a c k in others, but p r o b a b l y the best h o r r o r m o v i e a r o u n d for s o m e m o n t h s . T h i s said, it doesn't capture the spirit (sorry y e t again) of the o r i g i n a l .

T h e r e are n o d o n k e y s i n this film.

T h i s film is n o w a y c o n n e c t e d w i t h 'Repossessed' o r a n y of its sequels.

Honest.

The Amazing Flying Gerbil Machine

Henry & June In the late s u m m e r of a 1930's Paris b e g i n s the true s t o r y of H e n r y a n d J u n e . T h e film f o l l o w s the secret desires of A n a i s N i n a n d e x p l o r e s her r e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h the w r i t e r H e n r y M i l l e r (author of Tropic of Cancer). A n a i s has a passion for the erotic, u n b e k n o w n to her e v e r - l o v i n g h u s b a n d , a n d spends m u c h of the film either h a v i n g affairs o r fantasising about sex in its m a n y forms.

Her most persistent obsession is that of J u n e . J u n e is H e n r y ' s w i f e . H e n r y a n d she met w h e n she w a s a hostess in a s l e a z y bar, w h i c h c o v e r s m u c h of her character, a n d h a v e g r o w n apart t h r o u g h her use of a sugar d a d d y to support t h e m w h i l e he w r o t e . J u n e is b o t h beautiful a n d m a n i p u l a t i v e , u s i n g a n y m e t h o d at her disposal to g a i n w h a t she desires. She w a n t s to be w r i t t e n about, but H e n r y ' s w o r k is too r e a l a n d A n a i s ' s too poetic.

Her c h a n g i n g m o o d s a n d d e p t h m a k e her the most i n t e r e s t i n g c h a r a c t e r a n d yet she appears the least. B y far the m a j o r i t y of the film is spent w i t h A n a i s h o p p i n g b e t w e e n beds a n d s a y i n g that she feels so i n n o c e n t . H e n r y is a b r a s h A m e r i c a n w h o w r i t e s b o o k s that m a k e D H L a w r e n c e s e e m c h i l d i s h . H e not so m u c h w o o s A n a i s as takes her r o u g h l y after she, almost t i m i d l y , seduces h i m . T h e result is m u c h l o v e m a k i n g a n d her i n t r o d u c t i o n into the d a r k e r side of Paris w i t h its prostitutes a n d p i c k p o c k e t s . T h e latter add m u c h n e e d e d h u m o u r a n d are p u r e l y superfluous.

As w i t h P h i l i p K a u f m a n ' s last film, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, the c i n e m a t o g r a p h y is superb a n d the setting is c a p t u r e d i n full. H o w e v e r , the film is rather o v e r l o n g , tends to be m e l o d r a m a t i c at times a n d o v e r a l l lacks purpose. T h e r e is no 'torn b e t w e e n t w o lovers ' cliche w i t h Anais rather enjoying h a v i n g the separate attention of t w o v e r y different m e n (at least). T h i s is the k i n d of film y o u l e a v e feeling y o u ' v e learnt s o m e t h i n g , but can't for t h e life of y o u r e m e m b e r w h a t . Not b i g o n g o o d o l d fashioned e n t e r t a i n m e n t o r r o m a n c e a n d it w o u l d be a bit of a d i s a p p o i n t m e n t for a n y o n e p u r e l y after a h a r d c o r e sex m o v i e . O n e for t h e art c r o w d .

The Amazing

Machine.

Blue Steel

REVIEWS

I

G u n s a r e the c e n t r a l t h e m e of this film; guns a n d s h o o t i n g p e o p l e.

J a m i e L e e Curtis stars as M e g a n Turner, a recently graduated N e w Y o r k cop. ' W h y w o u l d a beautiful w o m a n l i k e y o u w a n t to b e c o m e a c o p ? ' p e o p l e ask, ' B e c a u s e 1 w a n t to shoot p e o p l e ' , she replies. A n d i n d e e d she does; o n her first night o n the beat she shoots a n d kills a n a r m e d r o b b e r w h o is h o l d i n g up a supermarket.

U n f o r t u n a t e l y the rubber's g u n can't be found afterwards a n d witnesses c o u l d not c o r o r b o r a t e her story, so she ends up s u s p e n d e d for s h o o t i n g a n a p p a r e n t l y u n a r m e d suspect. So w h e r e did the g u n go? W e l l , it w a s r e m o v e d from the scene b y E u g e n e H u n t (Ron Silver) a w e a l t h y c o m m o d i t y b r o k e r , w h o w a s d o i n g his s h o p p i n g w h e n it a l l h a p p e n e d . So i m p r e s s e d was he b y T u r n e r ' s s h o o t i n g d o w n of the r o b b e r that he was i n s p i r e d to b e c o m e a p s y c o p a t h i c k i l l e r a n d s w i p e d the gun for this p u r p o s e . H e then scratches M e g a n ' s n a m e o n the cartridges a n d goes out a n d shoots s o m e o n e point b l a n k . T h e p o l i c e a n d M e g a n are s o m e w h a t p e r t u r b e d to find her n a m e o n the c a r t r i d g e a n d the case is t a k e n o n b y h o m i c i d e d e t e c t i v e N i c k M a n n (Clancy B r o w n ) w h o r e l u c t a n t l y t a k es T u r n e r o n

•

as his d e p u t y . A t the same t i m e E u g e n e contrives a chance meeting with M e g a n a n d an affair begins. A n d so o n a n d so forth.

T h i s film, d i r e c t e d b y K a t h r y n B i g e l o w , is a serious a t t e m pt at a 'realistic' t h r i l l e r w i t h a fair bit of c h a r a c t er d e v e l o p m e n t a n d a l l the v i o l e n c e s h o w n is g r a p h i c a n d often g o r y . It c e r t a i n l y l o o k s g o o d but the plot lets it d o w n . T h e idea that an apparently clean-living, stockbroker could sink into m a d n e s s so q u i c k l y a n d a v o i d the l a w a n d bullets so effectively (apart

Guards! Guards!

F o l l o w i n g the cries of p a i n a n d a n g u i s h that f o l l o w e d m y last r e v i e w of o n e of his b o o k s w h e r e 1 s l a n d e r e d the great a n d h o l y Pratchett, I w i l l start b y s a y i n g that this b o o k is completely, utterly and unequivocally reasonable.

His t r e n d of t a k i n g o l d stories a n d c h a n g i n g the characters, a d d i n g a little wit a n d s a r c a s m , a n d f l o g g i n g the result to his u n d y i n g d e v o t e d fans continues. H e has c o p i e d parts of The Hobbit a n d n u m e r a b l e other fairy stories, a n d e v e n i m i t a t e d s o m e b o d y else's sense of h u m o u r to c o m e up w i t h his latest m a s t e r p i e c e.

I

W r i t t e n i n a v e r y M o n t y P y t h o n style sense of h u m o u r it is a easy b o o k to get a l o n g w i t h , the characters are a m a z i n g l y stupid a n d he p r o d u c e s w h a t in som e places is a v e r y funny b o o k . U n u s u a l l y for o n e of his b o o k s he's m a n a g e d to get a plot into the story, a n d e v e n a little suspense ( w h a t e v e r next, a ' r e a l ' book?) w h i c h all m a k e s for a v e r y pleasant re a d.

F o r me the best part is w h e n the city g u a r d are t r y i n g to k i l l a d r a g o n b y hitting it i n the ' v u l n e r a b l e s . ' (doesn't that r e m i n d y o u of a n o t h e r book?) It's d e c i d e d that 'its a m i l l i o n - t o - o n e c h a n c e , but it m i g h t just w o r k ' so w h e n s o m e b o d y suggests that the odds m i g h t be slightly better (the a r c h e r is u s i n g his l u c k y a r r o w ) t h e y d o e v e r y t h i n g they c a n to m a k e the o d d s e x a c t l y a m i l l i o n - t o - o n e .

T h i s includes m a k i n g h i m w e a r a stupid hat, b l i n d f o l d i n g h i m a n d e v e n m a k i n g h i m stand one-legged in a b o w l of custard.

Definitely a n i m p r o v e m e n t o v e r ' P y r a m i d s ' , a l t h o u g h he c o u l d do a lot better. He's e v e n m a d e a l l o w a n c e s for first t i m e r e a d e r s b y e x p l a i n i n g m a n y of the q u i r k s a n d foibles of the w o r l d the story is based i n .

His fans w i l l b u y it a n d l o v e it, others s h o u l d b u y it a n d r e a d it.

Ian H o d g e

from the fact that R o n S i l v e r l o o k s l i k e a p s y c h o p a t h i c killer) is s l i g h t l y implausable.

B y the e n d Blue Steel b e c o m e s m u c h the same as a n y other A m e r i c a n c o p d r a m a . J a m i e L e e Curtis, h o w e v e r , p l a y s her role w i t h great skill in a film t o t a l l y different from her last, A Fish Called Wanda, s h o w i n g her v e r s a t i l i t y as a n actress a n d for those w h o are interested, no, she doesn't take her clothes off.

Liz.

Bizarro/ More Bizarro

(Mr H o d g e is n o w b e i n g t o r t u r e d b y the r e v i e w s t e a m b r a n c h of the Pratchett A p p r e c i a t i o n S o c i e t y — R e v i e w s Ed.)

—Book —Film —Comic/Graphics

D a n P i r a r o i n t r o d u c e s his t w o c o l l e c t i o n s of Far Sideesque c a r t o o n s w i t h a few w e l l c h o s e n questions w h i c h give a fair i d e a of the h u m o u r t h e r e i n : since o x y g e n is invisible, c a n w e e v e r be t r u l y c e r t a i n it is not m a k i n g fun of us? W a s Satan's c h o i c e to a p p e a r to E v e as a serpent instead of the m o r e l o g i c a l c h o i c e of a p o o d l e p r o v i d e n t i a l ? A n d so o n . P i r a r o ' s c a r t o o n s are s n a p p y one-framers of the k i n d d e s i g n e d for stupid p e o p l e to c a l l ' w a c k y ' a n d ' z a n y ' . T h e y a r e in fact v e r y funny a n d v e r y c l e v e r . Ideal for a l l those of y o u w h o h a v e n e v e r beepOOOOOOOOOO@ppppOO F l y i n g G e r b i l (??)

The Ecole Nationale Superieure du Petrole et des Moteurs in Paris, France's outstanding institution for training and research in fields related to the Petroleum Industry, invites applications from British students of the highest calibre with a Master's and/or Bachelor's degree

Why not come along and meet us ?

Presentation The Ante Room Sherfield Building Wednesday 28th November at 6.30pm

A n Emotional

Fish

An Emotional Fish

An Emotional Fish are a four piece Irish b a n d w i t h a p a r t i c u l a r l y silly (but fairly m e m o r a b l e ) n a m e . A s a n y Jasper C a r r o t fan w i l l tell y o u — f i s h (or is it just goldfish?) o n l y h a v e a m e m o r y c a p a c i t y of a few seconds—so h o w t h e y c a n be ' e m o t i o n a l ' is b e y o n d m e , but m o r e i m p o r t a n t l y b e y o n d a fish. T h e y also h a v e a bassist c a l l e d E d n a — w h o is i n fact male! A n d to top it all I can't w o r k out w h a t this L P is called—I h a v e a s u s p i c i o n that it is the o r i g i n a l An Emotional Fish

by An Emotional Fish.

W e l l at this point 1 shall a d m i t that I'm not v e r y i m p r e s s e d , a n d I h a v e n ' t a c t u a l l y got d o w n to l i s t e n i n g to t h e i r m u s i c y e t so here goes: T h e L P has ten tracks a n d sounds at

times like The Style Council, Prefab Sprout a n d U2 a m o n g others—quite a selection r e a l l y .

T h e songs are w o r d y a n d i n t r i g u i n g to get y o u r e a c h i n g for the l y r i c sheet, but o n c e r e a d t h e y are not p r o f o u n d or interesting e n o u g h to stick i n y o u r m i n d .

T h e r e is, h o w e v e r , a n exception—Grey Matter w h i c h c o u l d easily h a v e b e e n c a l l e d Ode to Imperial College ('Grey matter fade away...it's a n a v i g a t i o n to n o w h e r e ' ) . T o finish I quite like the m e l o d i e s , but to be b r u t a l the singer's v o i c e spoils t h e m , a n d his v o c a l style gets m o r e i r r i t a t i n g e v e r y t i m e I listen to the LP.

Naked LP c h a n g e d but is d r o w n e d u n d e r a swajnp of Stock, A i t k e n a n d W a t e r m a n beat-box.

It w i l l do b r i l l i a n t l y . It's i n e v i t a b l e .

GBH

Blue Pearl Competition D i s c o v e r the B-side for yourself! W e ' v e got three copies of Naked to just g i v e a w a y . Just a n s w e r the f o l l o w i n g , o r don't e v e n bother, just s e n d y o u r n a m e a n d dept. to F E L I X b y this W e d n e s d a y a n d y o u c o u l d e x p e r i e n c e these stark delights too.

O p t i o n a l q u e s t i o n : W h o o r w h a t links Blue Pearl a n d The Revolting Cocks? T h e most o r i g i n a l a n s w e r s , not n e c e s s a r i l y c o r r e c t , w i l l w i n a c o p y of t h e a l b u m , a n d p r o b a b l y s o m e other v i n y l goodies w e ' v e got f l o a t i n g a r o u n d .

Swervedriver Feet First 20.11.90

Creaming Jesus A Forest EP Y o u ' v e h e a r d The Cure's pathetic effort at t h e ir o w n c o v e r . N o w e x p e r i e n c e T H I S .

T r a s h , thrash a n d gurgles m a r k this i n d e l i b l e but d e l e c t a b l e d e l i g h t . It's almost

mm.

Pinky.

Blue Pearl Y e s , this is the a l b u m that b r o u g h t p o r n o g r a p h y to the a i r w a v e s , n a k e d s t e a m i n g b o d i e s o n R a d i o O n e . Naked In The Rain is the l e a d track o n this m e d l e y of d a n c e beat a n d s m o o c h y v o c a l s .

T h e n e x t t r a c k c o n t i n u es w i t h m o r e of the first, a n d c o u l d almost e part of the e x t e n d e d r e m i x , w h i c h is fine if y o u b o u g h t the single. In fact, this t r a c k w a s p r o b a b l y the ' c l e a n ' v e r s i o n , i n case the first got b a n n e d b y s q e a l i n g Sharons.

T h e a l b u m c o n t i n u es w i t h m o r e beat a n d e v e n m a n a g e s s o m e rap a n d a great c h o r u s , 'I n e v e r k n e w , T h a t I w o u l d fall in l o v e w i t h y o u , I n e v e r k n e w , I don't k n o w w h a t to d o , I n e v e r k n e w , I n e v e r k n e w , I n e v e r k n e w . ' C a t c h y . ' C h i l l out.'

W e l l , it's m a i n s t r e a m , isn't it.

T h e best? t r a c k is a d e c o n s t r u c t i o n of K a t e Bush's Running Up That Hill. N o , she definitely can't do those fiddly v o c a l bits. E v e n the b a c k i n g hasn't b e e n

LP

a relief after the M i x e d U p v e r s i o n . Cure fans stand b a c k a n d be s l a u g h t e r e d .

S c r e a m s , g r u n g e , h o w l s a n d noise m e r g e a n d w a i l into a n e w h e a v y shriek. A b o u t all that r e m a i n s intact is the bass line i n a n a v a l a n c h e of confusion a n d H M distortion.

A s for the o t h e r three t r a c k s , t h e y ' r e pretty b o r i n g as far as p s y c h o - t h r a s h goes. A d e r a n g e d m i x of a v o i c e refined b y w e e k s of s m o k i n g a n d sandpaper, mashed with various shrieks and H M guitar solos.

W o r t h g e t t i n g for the c o v e r - death to Robert Smith.

SJH

After a n e t e r n i t y of i n d i e b o p a n d shite, the c l o c k s t r u c k t w e l v e a n d all w e n t quiet in a n t i c i p a t i o n h o p i n g that w e w o u l d get s o m e decent m u s i c at last to justify the q u i d e n t r a n c e fee.

T h e stage s u d d e n l y e x p l o d e d w i t h c o l o u r , the p u r p l e b e i n g p a r t i c u l a r l y impressive, a n d on came Swervedriver l a u n c h i n g into their first s o n g . P r e t t y h e a v y stuff.

A n u m b e r of influences c a m e across i n Chain their music, n a m e l y Pixies, Mary a n d Dinosaur Jnr. T h e v o c a l i s t struck m e as s o u n d i n g l i k e a h e a v i e r v e r s i o n of E l v i s Costello w h i c h w o r k e d r e a l l y w e l l , it w a s a pity that t h e w o r d s he s u n g c o u l d not be h e a r d o v e r the g r o w i n g of the guitars a n d the feedback.

Despite p r o b l e m s w i t h b a d m i x i n g a n d a n out of tune bass Swervedriver proved e x c e l l e n t e n t e r t a i n m e n t . So, if y o u get the c h a n c e , see t h e m , t h e y ' r e g o o d .

Brian.

On The Road FELIX talks to the band before discovering that life on the road isn't all lager, groupies and kebabs.

i m p r e s s i v e as their huge s o u n d . In fact, the o n l y p o i n t t h e y a d m i t a r g u i n g o v e r w a s the c h o i c e of v o c a l i s t , as n e i t h e r w a n t e d to s i n g ! T h e b a n d is c o m p l e t e d w i t h bassist K a r l , w h o m a n y b a n d w o u l d be eager to e m p l o y . O b v i o u s l y , t h e y are sl i g h t ly l i m i t e d l i v e b y l a c k of n u m b e r s a n d so the m u s i c is s i m p l e r live t h a n o n v i n y l , but b y n o m e a n s less e n t h r a l l i n g . ' W e a d d m o r e i n the studio a n d m a k e it better. Y o u h e a r a lot of a l b u m s b y n e w bands a n d t h i n k , ' F u c k i n ' ' e l l , that c o u l d have been a live gig."

T h e i r m u s i c has b e e n l i k e n e d to e a r l y Sisters a n d Mission, as t h e y t h e m s e l v e s a d m i t . 'It's n o t a rip-off, s m i l e d P o r l , guitarist a n d f r o n t m a n . ' W e ' r e not the m o s t o r i g i n a l b a n d i n the w o r l d , but there's s o m e t h i n g there. T h e Sisters a n d M i s s i o n a n d the l i k e h a v e a l l g o n e o v e r to r o c k , so w e ' r e filling i n t h e gap. T h e m a i n t h i n g is that w e ' r e fans of the m u s i c w e p l a y . H o p e f u l l y it w i l l b e our career.

It's either this or sitting at h o m e o n the d o l e w a t c h i n g telly.'

Hallowe'en Madness D r a w n b y s o m e c r a v i n g s u m m o n s , the i n t r e p i d r e v i e w e r s a b a n d o n e d the s e c u r i t y of L o n d o n to h e a d for L e i c e s t e r for the This All Hallow's Eve Solemnization. t u r n e d out to b e at a p u b b e d e c k e d w i t h l u m i n o u s tridents a n d bats. T h e tackiness e v e n r i v a l l e d a T V g a m e s h o w . ' W e t r y to b e d o w n to e a r t h . S o m e fans t h i n k that w h e n t h e y t a l k to us, w e ' l l h a v e a n e c h o o n our v o i c e s . Y o u ' v e got to realise that y o u ' r e i n the e n t e r t a i n m e n t business a n d that's it. W e ' r e not gods o r a n y t h i n g . '

Porl demonstrates how to deal with groupies—snarl A f t e r the s o r d i d f r e n z y of t h e E l e c t r i c B a l l r o o m , the masses w e r e o n c e a g a i n h y p n o t i c a l l y b e c k o n e d to the e n t r a n c i n g s m o k e . T h e d a r k hordes c r a m p e d into the t i n y T r a p d o o r , t a i l o r e d as e v e r to suit the clientele, as C i t y U n i v e r s i t y b e g a n to a w a k e n . T h e n , briefly, as the m a n y hands c l a s p e d for t h e light, the h a z e lifted to r e v e a l Rosetta Stone, t w o lads from Liverpool and a drum machine with e n o u g h d r y ice to r a n k t h e i r gigs as a serious threat to the e n v i r o n m e n t .

In t r e p i d a t i o n a n d a w e , w e a p p r o a c h e d t h e ir backstage sanctuary, o n l y to be o r d e r e d to take the piss out of t h e m b y t h e ir m a n a g e r , R a y . T h e p a i r p r o v e d to be instantly l i k e a b l e , w i t h P o r l ' s t a l k a t i v e n a t u r e c o m p l i m e n t i n g K a r l ' s quietness. ' W e ' r e b o t h a bit shy r e a l l y ' , so that's w h y t h e y h i d e b e h i n d a v e i l of s m o k e . ' N o , 1 t h i n k p e o p l e w o u l d get b o r e d if t h e y c o u l d see us a l l the t i m e . ' H o w e v e r , it w o u l d be n i c e to b e able to see t h e m at least s o m e of t h e time!

W h e n the c l o u d does lift, it is almost s h o c k i n g to d i s c o v e r that t h e r e are o n l y t w o of t h e m . A l t h o u g h he is modest, P o r l ' s ability to p e r f o r m i n t r i c a t e guitar m e l o d i e s a n d s i n g o v e r t h e m is as

8

A s for p r e t e n t i o n a n d d a u n t i n g titles, (eg, The Preachers of the New Armageddon), t h e y are a g a i n o n l y for effect, like the o m i n o u s s m o k e . ' S o m e places are so b i g , it's just l i k e s o m e o n e s m o k i n g a fag i n the c o r n e r . ' N a m e s s u c h as Cimmerian, t h e n a m e of t h e first v i n y l t r a c k , is that of a m y t h i c a l r a c e of s h a d o w d w e l l e r s , but it s o u n d s g o o d , ' a bit like a girl's n a m e , W e use a lot of religious l a n g u a g e , but w e ' r e not religious. It's just the w a y w e w r i t e . I used to be a n t i - r e l i g i o n , but n o w I don't care.'

Inevitably, the g i g w e n t t r i u m p h a n t l y , as e v e r , a n d w e w e r e g i v e n o u r first v i e w of The Ancestry, Rosetta's tour support.

D e s c r i b e d as a cross b e t w e e n Skeletal Family a n d Lush, t h e y a g a i n d e s e r v e to do w e l l .

T h e s t a n d i n g j o k e i n Rosetta is their d r u m m a c h i n e . Not o n l y w a s it offered c h e a p l y , but t u r n e d out to be i d e n t i c a l to the Sisters' m e a n s o u n d e r .

Dr. Avalanche, Not o n l y this twist of fate, but their debut E P w a s r e c o r d e d i n studios f r e q u e n t e d b y The Mission a n d w a s p r o d u c e d b y their o w n T i m P a l m e r . T h e y s e e m fated to

f o l l o w the t r a i l of t h e i r m u s i c heroes. ' W e go out t h e r e for s t r a i g h t f o r w a r d e n t e r t a i n m e n t . W e t r y to m a k e o u r songs m o r e poppy and m o r e accessible without s e l l i n g out, just to get into the T o p 40. A song's got to b e g o o d e n o u g h to s t a n d u p o n it's o w n , so J o e B l o g g s w i l l hear it o n the r a d i o a n d t h i n k , 'That's a g o o d s o n g , ' not ' T h e y ' r e a g o t h b a n d , I'm not g o i n g to b u y it.' T h e d i e - h a r d goths are probably disappointed.'

Rosetta Stone h a v e got the insight a n d d e d i c a t i o n to m a k e it h u g e , as P o r l p a i n s t a k i n g l y e x p l a i n s h o w 'goth d i e d a death', w h e n the g o t h b a n d s t u r n e d to r o c k a n d e n d e d up i n no- m a n ' s l a n d w h e r e n o b o d y w a n t s to see t h e m . A s for the c u r r e n t m u s i c scene, ' W e i g n o r e it.

B a n d s just chase after w h a t ' s h a p p e n i n g .

O n e b a n d m a k e s it t h e n a n o t h e r takes o v e r a n d the first is f o r g o t t e n. N o , I'm not g o i n g to slag it off - y o u ' l l q u o t e me!'

Quarriers Rosetta's l a c k of p r e t e n t i o n is further e m p h a s i s e d b y the f o l l o w i n g , self c h r i s t e n e d The Quarriers (Rosetta STONE, groan). A p p a r e n t l y u n i t e d b y their sexiness, the m u l t i c o l o u r g r e b o s are d e d i c a t e d to f o l l o w i n g Rosetta's e v e r y m o v e , but r e v e a l e d e x c l u s i v e l y that t h e y w e r e o n l y after P o r l ' s b o d y . T h e y are a c h a r m i n g l y r a u c o u s b u n c h of Tads' (even the girls) f r o m W o r k s o p , M a c c l e s f i e l d , Preston and e v e r y w h e r e nice. A n d r e w E l d r i t c h w a n t e d to b e a Quarrier but he wasn't ' a r d e n o u g h .

P o r l admits t h e y ' r e the s p o k e s p e r s o n s , 'the go-betweens i n a w a y because they're more mouthy. The following's l i k e d e a d i m p o r t a n t 'cos t h e y ' v e a l w a y s

Rosetta Stone b e e n there before the b a n d are.' Y e s , The Quarriers h a v e b e e n e v e r y w h e r e , it's quite a s t o u n d i n g . T h e i r s o n g 'actions' are also astounding, a farce o n l y to be b e l i e v e d w h e n se e n. C h a s' s p i d e r is also a k e e n fan a n d M i c k ' c a n p u l l all't girls w i t h a b i g coat'. T h e y ' r e w e l l ' a r d .

The 7 Year Hitch A n d so, w i t h a g e n u i n e i n v i t a t i o n to t u r n up a n y t i m e , w e v e n t u r e d out into the d a r k r a i n to attempt t o t r a v e l the 130 o d d m i l e s b y the n e x t e v e n i n g . T w e l v e hours of w i n d , p o l i c e patrols a n d countless s e r v i c e stations later, w e staggered into L i v e r p o o l , Home Of The Beatles as e v e r y pub a n d poster s e e m e d to shout. A little v a n d a l i s m later, that w a s s o o n put r i g h t to Home Of Rosetta Stone, b y far the m o r e prestigious of the t w o .

T h e b e d r a g g l e d journos c o l l a p s e d o n t o the doorstep, a n d there w e m a y h a v e r e m a i n e d as the c o d e is four rings at the doorbell. Eventually, an extremely s u r p r i s e d K i m ('the wife', a n d g e n e r a l lights a n d info person) let us i n (poor fool). She t u r n e d out to be n i c e r t h a n the p r o v e r b i a l J u l i a n n e R e a g a n , selflessly offering us tea, toast a n d t h e use of t h e ir v i t a l c r i m p e r s . P o r l w a s out b u y i n g a n e w toy, w h i c h later t u r n e d out to be ÂŁ 4 0 0 w o r t h of effects p e d a l .

Neither have w o r k e d since leaving s c h o o l , t r u s t i n g their m u s i c to p a y the bills. E v e n t h e ir E P was r e l e a s e d o n their o w n l a b e l , f i n a n c e d b y a friend's l o a n . ' W e k n e w it w a s g o o d e n o u g h to p a y it b a c k , ' g r i n n e d P o r l , as the r e c o r d r a n to a s e c o n d p r e s s i n g w i t h i n days, a d v e r t i s e d o n l y b y w o r d of m o u t h . T h e y h a v e just s i g n e d , after m u c h d e l i b e r a t i o n , a n d p l a n

1

Chas and his spider

Karl narrowly avoids GBH with his bass for a m i n i L P for the N e w Y e a r .

So o n to L i v e r p o o l P o l y , the h o m e g i g d r e a d e d so m u c h . Rosetta Stone feel t h e y are o n e of t h e most hated bands i n L i v e r p o o l just because t h e y h a v e a c t u a l l y m a d e it out. T h e y b o t h a d m i t that t h e y w o u l d i n d e e d like to l e a v e the city.

Despite their t r e p i d a t i o n , the turnout w a s g o o d but a m e s s o v e r t i c k e t sales m e a n t that t h e y o n l y just m a n a g e d to b r e a k even.

After a n o t h e r successful night, it was b a c k for the t r a d i t i o n a l post-gig k e b a b a n d c h i p s a n d b r e a k i n g o p e n of t h e Student W e l c o m e P a c k s so t hought ful ly left backstage for us. B a c k at the flat, a n y o n e w o u l d h a v e m a r v e l l e d at w h a t w i l d p a r t y h a d o c c u r e d , w i t h peanut butter, Pot N o o d l e s a n d M & M s s t r e w n b e t w e e n the e x h a u s t e d b o d i e s of t w o bands a n d a s s o r t e d fans t r y i n g to d o z e .

T h e n , r e l u c t a n t l y , w e w e r e f o r c e d to part, to he ad b a c k to the w o r l d of d a i l y lectures a n d r o u t i n e , so far r e m o v e d f r o m the u n p r e d i c t a b i l i t y of life o n the r o a d .

T h e o n e r e p r i e v e w a s a r e t u r n to the b a n d , this t i m e at the M a r q u e e .

B a c k s t a g e , tensions r a n h i g h as the c r o w d s s w e l l e d but s l o w l y . T h e first a p p e a r a n c e i n A u g u s t h a d seen queues d o w n the r o a d before the d o o r s o p e n e d , but tonight Rosetta w e r e t o p l a y against the Cocteau Twins a n d PWEI. T h e y n e e d not h a v e w o r r i e d as the t u r n o u t w a s still e x c e l l e n t , despite a n e x t r e m e l y d o d g e y support b a n d , Reptile, t h r o w n o n at the last m i n u t e b y p r o m o t e r s . T h e larger v e n u e s h o w e d b o t h The Ancestry and

Rosetta to t h e i r best i n a m o m e n t o u s g i g , despite the n o n - a p p e a r a n c e of the specially hired lighting.

T h e m o o d i n the dressing-toilet was t r i u m p h a n t , w i t h hoards of Quarriers v y i n g for F E L I X ' s c o v e r a n d i m p r e s s e d scouts offering future gigs. B u t still w e c o u l d not l e a v e t h e m . T h e final date o n the tour w a s a few days later at L e e d s W a r e h o u s e . A s the last g i g a n d a s m a l l e r v e n u e , as w e l l as the p r e s e n c e of almost all the Quarriers, this g i g b e c a m e v e r y i n f o r m a l , w i t h h e c k l i n g at the fore. T h e a t m o s p h e r e b e c a m e the focal point (through the smoke?), r a t h e r than t e c h n i c a l p r e c i s i o n as b o t h b a n d a n d followers r e v e l l e d i n the n e a r p a r t y m o o d . It c o u l d almost h a v e b e e n i n their front r o o m .

Rosetta Stone h a v e the talent a n d d e s e r v e to go m u c h further. B o t h are g e n u i n e l y s u r p r i s e d at the a m o u n t of success t h e y ' v e had. W i t h a n a l b u m i n sight, the future is p r o m i s i n g . T h i s b a n d s h o u l d stand out i n the e v e r - i n c r e a s i n g d i l u t i o n of this s t r e a m of m u s i c .

Epilogue ' W e u s u a l l y r e a d the stuff afterwards a n d r e a l l y regret it a n d say, ' O h g o d , d i d I r e a l l y say that?" So K a r l , w h a t are y o u r ideas o n w h e r e the b a n d is going? ' W e ' r e g o i n g to L i v e r p o o l tonight!'

9

Sugoto Ray explores the world of snakes from Hissing Sid to Kaa...

Trust in Me

Snakes are e i t h e r the object of intense fear or obsessive fascintion, a n d t h e r e are m a n y m y t h s a n d r e m a r k a b l e facts s u r r o u n d i n g these m y s t i c a l serpents.

T o b e g i n w i t h snakes a r e n ' t just legless lizards. L i z a r d s are reptiles w i t h e a r h o l e s a n d eyelids, s n a k e s are r e p t i l e s w i t h o u t .

T h e r e are t w o major t y p e s of snakes, v e n e m o u s a n d n o n - v e n e m o u s . Let's b e g i n w i t h the p o i s o n o u s t y p e .

T h e s e snakes h a v e p o i s o n o u s spit, ie v e n o m , w h i c h t h e y c a n e i t h e r inject w i t h h o l l o w teeth (fangs) o r spit w i t h w a t e r pistol like t e e t h , as w i t h the s p i t t i n g c o b r a . T h e s e c a n spit in y o u r e y e f r o m a distance of u p to t w e l v e feet.

V e n o m itself is a v e r y v a r i a b l e substance. In s o m e species it acts as a digestive e n z y m e , so a n y unfortunate a n i m a l w h i c h has b e e n b i t t e n a n d yet m a n a g e s to e s c a p e s o o n finds that it is s l o w l y b e i n g digested a n y w a y , b y w h i c h t i m e the s n a k e has caught up w i t h it a n d p r o c e e d s to s w a l l o w it h e a d first a n d finish the process.

up to t w e n t y feet l o n g , six to t w e l v e feet is the n o r m . Often the v e n o m has v e r y little effect o n h u m a n s a n y w a y . It is a fact that in B r i t a i n , m o r e p e o p l e die f r o m bee stings t h a n a d d e r bites. If y o u are b i t t e n b y a n a d d e r y o u s h o u l d feel no a p p a r e n t illness apart f r o m o c c a s i o n a l bouts of m i l d fever, w h i c h c a n be c u r e d b y t a k i n g a n t i h i s t o m i n e tablets (hay fever pills). Bites f r o m m o r e p o i s o n o u s species are often t r e a t a b l e i n a v a r i e t y of w a y s .

T h e latest findings s h o w that h i g h v o l t a g e e l e c t r i c a l s h o c k s c a n be u s e d to treat s n a k e bite v i c t i m s , a l t h o u g h so far, three p e o p l e h a v e d i e d f r o m the s h o c k s anyway.

Bites from t r o p i c a l s n a k e s g e n e r a l l y

s i x t y y e a r s o r m o r e . T h e y c a n take large p r e y but t h e r e are no k n o w n e x a m p l e s of adult h u m a n s e v e r y b e i n g eaten, a n d , although on dissection, small children h a v e b e e n f o u n d i n their guts, l a r g er c o n s t r i c t o rs d o n ' t u s u a l l y eat a n i m a l s l a r g er t h a n w i l d pigs, s m a l l antelopes a n d birds. A n a c o n d a s h o w e v e r h a v e b e e n k n o w n to eat s i x foot c a y m e n s , a n a m a z o n i a n c r o c o d i l e species.

T h e r e are no r e c o r d s of s n a k e s e a t i n g vegetable matter, although some pythons are b e l i e v e d to s u p p l e m e n t their diet w i t h r o t t i n g fruit a n d there are c l a i m s that a n Indian c o b r a species succles o n m i l k f r o m cattle.

T h e r e are m a n y r e m a r k a b l e facts

O t h e r v e n o m s act as b l o o d c l o t t i n g agents or p a r a l y s i n g n e u r o t o x i n s so a n y b i t t e n a n i m a l w h i c h tries to e s c a p e s o o n s l o w s d o w n a n d goes into a s p a s m , w h i l e the s n a k e catches u p w i t h it a n d s w a l l o w s it i n the p r e f e r r e d , s t r e a m l i n e , h e a d first position.

V e n e m o u s snakes h a v e m a n y p h y s i o l o g i c a l adaptions to suit their m o d e of l i v i n g . A l t h o u g h snakes c a n n o t hear, t h e y c a n feel v i b r a t i o n s o n the g r o u n d , w a r n i n g t h e m of a p p r o a c h i n g p r e y o r e n e m i e s , a n d of course snakes h a v e that famous f o r k e d tongue.

T h i s f l i c k e r i n g o r g a n c o l l e c t s particles f r o m the air a n d takes t h e m into a s p e c i a l i s ed taste o r g a n , the jacobsons o r g a n , g i v i n g the a n i m a l a v e r y e n h a n c e d sense of s m e l l . A n o t h e r s n a k e s p e c i a l i t y is the ability to sense infra-red heat radiation from w a r m b l o o d ed animals.

T h i s is d o n e v i a t w o facial heat s e n s i n g pits, so a n y r o d e n t (the p r e f e r r e d p r e y of v e n e m o u s snakes) w h i c h t h i n k s it is safe s i m p l y b e c a u s e it is d a r k , o r b e c a u s e it is i n a d a r k b u r r o w , is sa d l y m i s t a k e n . B y ' s m e l l i n g ' it a n d feeling its b o d y heat o u r reptile f r i e nd c a n trace its m o v e m e n t s a n d f o l l o w it.

V e n e m o u s snakes are f e a r d b y most of the h u m a n r a c e . T h e y m o v e v e r y fast a n d their bites are often fatal, but, a l t h o u g h t h e y d e s e r v e respect, s u c h fear is unjustified. V e n o m is a p r e c i o u s commodity, made in small amount. A n y s n a k e o n c o n f r o n t a t i o n w i l l rear up, hiss a n d g e n e r a l l y m a k e a lot of noise, (as w i t h the rattle snake). T h e y try to scare off e n e m i e s w i t h false strikes, ra t her t h a n waste the v e n o m o n w h i c h their life depends.

V e n e m o u s snakes aren't g e n e r a l l y v e r y long, and although K i n g Cobras can grow

10

n e e d to be t r e a t e d v e r y q u i c k l y if d e a t h is to be a v o i d e d .

T h e o t h e r t y p e s of s n a k e s are constrictors. T h e s e r a p i d l y w r a p themselves intimately a r o u n d prey, and, c o n t r a r y to p o p u l a r belief, k i l l b y suffocating lungs ra t her t h a n c r u s h i n g .

W h a t happens is this; the p r e y a n i m a l s i n a d v e r t a n t l y steps o n a c o n s t r i c t o r w h i c h is often h i d d e n i n leaf litter o n jungle floors. T h e s n a k e w r a p s itself a r o u n d the a n i m a l , c o n c e n t r a t i n g as w e h u m a n s do, o n the t h o r a x . T h e p r e y t h e n runs out of b r e a t h a n d b r e a t h e s out, a n d the s n a k e coils tighter p r e v e n t i n g b r e a t h i n g i n .

W h e n the a n i m a l dies, the s n a k e squashes it into a nice shape a n d s w a l l o w s h e a d first. C o n s t r i c t o r s are g e n e r a l l y s l o w m o v i n g , a l t h o u g h the initial w r a p p i n g is v e r y fast. T h e s e snakes are g e n e r a l l y m u c h fatter a n d l o n g e r t h a n v e n e m o u s varieties. B o a c o n s t r i c t o r s, r o c k p y t h o n s a n d a n a c o n d a s for e x a m p l e h a v e b e e n k n o w n to g r o w to t h i r t y feet l o n g , h a v e a g i r t h of t w e n t y s i x inches, a n d live for

s u r r o u n d i n g s n a k e s . F o r e x a m p l e , snakes s w a l l o w p r e y s e v e r a l times the size of their head. T h i s is because t h e y c a n dislocate their jaws, a p h e n o m e n o n used b y the egg e a t i n g s n a k e w h i c h s w a l l o w s w h o l e eggs to b e eaten. T h i s is e q u i v a l e n t to h u m a n s s w a l l o w i n g b a s k e t b a l l s . O n s w a l l o w i n g , spines l i n i n g the snake's gut r e m o v e the s h e l l w h i c h is later ejected as a neat p a c k a g e .

B e c a u s e s n a k e s s w a l l o w their p r e y w h o l e , a m e a l takes a l o n g t i m e to digest, a n d there are r e c o r d s of p y t h o n s not h a v i n g to eat for up to n i n e m o n t h s .

S e v e r a l species of s n a k e c a n go w i t h o u t d r i n k i n g for m o n t h s o n e n d . T h i s is due to the fact that the faeces is d r y a n d snakes do not u r i n a t e o r sweat (hence their d r y skin). T h e o n l y w a t e r t h e y lose is w h e n t h e y b r e a t h e . D e s e r t species e v e n h a v e s p e c i a l i s e d b r e a t h i n g apparatus w h i c h c o l l e c t s the m o i s t u r e f r o m their b r e a t h a n d f r o m the air, p r e v e n t i n g w a t e r loss as w e l l as p r o v i d i n g w a t e r . S o m e p y t h o n species are b e l i e v e d to be able to

Save Energy Read this in the dark c o n t r o l their b r e a t h i n g a n d heart rate at will.

T h i s article c o n t a i n s o n l y a fraction of w h a t is k n o w n about s n a k e s . N o t h i n g has b e e n said about the d i v e r s e adaptions species h a v e m a d e for l i v i n g i n v a r i e d habitats, but to g i v e s o m e i d e a , here are some examples.

T h e most hostile habitats i n the w o r l d are deserts. A w e l l k n o w n desert s n a k e species is the Side W i n d e r , these m o v e i n the p e c u l i a r fasion as t h e i r n a m e suggests in o r d e r to not o n l y g a i n a p u r c h a s e o n the e v e r y shifting sand, but also to t o u c h as little of this hot s a n d as possible.

T h e r e are e x t e n s i v e deserts in A u s t r a l i a . O n e s n a k e that l i v e s here has a leaf l i k e tail. It lies b u r i e d i n the s a n d w i t h its tail e x p o s e d , a t t r a c t i n g ants. T h e ants attract l i z a r d s w h i c h the s n a k e catches a n d eats.

A n o t h e r A u s t r a l i a n s n a k e is a g r e e n tree s n a k e w h i c h lives i n forest habitats.

It holds o n t o a b r a n c h w i t h its tail a n d stretches itself o u t l a t e r a l l y , c a t c h i n g birds, insects a n d e v e n bats.

S n a k e s are n o t v e r y s o c i a l a n i m a l s , but w h e n t h e y do get together, t h e y do so i n their h u n d r e d s . Rattle s n a k e s for e x a m p l e gather i n c a v e s a n d h i b e r n a t e t h r o u g h the w i n t e r , s h a r i n g e a c h other's b o d y heat.

Snakes have equally w i e r d and w o n d e r f u l b r e e d i n g habits. O n e of the w i e r d e s t is t h e garter s n a k e . T h e female garter attracts the a t t e n t i o n of s e v e r a l males b y e x u d i n g perfume (pheremone) as h u m a n females d o , but a c e r t a i n n u m b e r of m a l e s m i m i c k her b y e x u d i n g t h e ir o w n p e r f u m e . T h i s attracts m a l es a w a y f r o m her a n d the 'false female' goes a n d mates w i t h her.

M a n y snakes have ritualised mating displays. F o r e x a m p l e w i t h the a d d e r m a l e s w r e s t l e for females, d o i n g w h a t is k n o w n as the a d d e r d a n c e , but t h e y r a r e l y bite e a c h o t h e r for this w o u l d b e fatal, too easy to d o , a n d wastes v e n o m .

W h e n it c o m e s to l a y i n g eggs, different snakes h a v e different ideas o n w h e r e to lay their eggs. S o m e snakes, eg v i p e r s , k e e p the eggs w i t h i n their b o d i e s a n d e n d up g i v i n g b i r t h to live y o u n g . T h e grass s n a k e , o n the o t h e r h a n d , d e c i d e s it w a n t s n o t h i n g to do w i t h its c h i l d r e n a n d ends up l a y i n g its eggs i n d e c a y i n g v e g e t a t i o n a n d c o m p o s t heaps w h e r e r o t t i n g plants a n d fungi g i v e off heat.

O t h e r snakes, e s p e c i a l l y p y t h o n s , are very motherly and wrap themselves a r o u n d the eggs, o c c a s i o n a l l y t w i t c h i n g t h e ir m usc l es to g e n e r a t e b o d y heat a n d i n c u b a t e the eggs.

So y o u see, s n a k e s are v a r i a b l e i n their habits a n d lifestyles a n d not a lot is k n o w n about t h e m . P e r h a p s b y l e a r n i n g m o r e w e m a y b e able to w a y l a y our fear of t h e m .

Sust a i na bi l i ty is the c o r e of t h e G r e e n P a r t y ' s t h i n k i n g a n d t h e y b e l e i v e that it is the s o l u t i o n to o u r e n e r g y crisis, since the fossil fuels that w e use c u r r e n t l y are b o u n d to r u n out s o m e t i m e . It has b e e n e s t i m a t e d that, at the present rate of c o n s u m p t i o n , the U K c o a l reserves w i l l o n l y last for a n o t h e r 54 y e a r s . O t h e r fossel fuels, as w e l l as n u c l e a r , are finite a n d so s o o r e r o r later a l l c o u n t r i e s w i l l h a v e to l o o k for other souces of e n e r g y .

A t the m o m e n t the U K has n o set energy policy. T h e Green Party beleives that o n e s h o u l d set be up w h i c h includes.

1. C a r e about future g e n e r a t i o n s .

2. C a r e about o t h e r p o p u l a t i o n s .

3. E n s u r e e q u a l a v a i l a b i l i t y of fuels to a l l nations.

4. I m p r o v e the a m e n i t y of o u r o w n population.

H o w e v e r , s a y i n g s o m e t h i n g is n e e d e d does not n e c e s s a r i l y m e a n that it w i l l be i n c o r p o r a t e d into a c o u n t r i e s p o l i c y . T h i s is b e c a u s e p o l i c i e s are a l w a y s c o n n e c t e d to politics a n d e v e r y g o v e r n m e n t prefers to act is s u c h a w a y as to e n s u r e its o w n p o p u l a r i t y i n t h e short r u n . T h i s w a s e v i d e n t three w e e k s ago d u r i n g the second W o r l d Climate Conference in G e n e v a . M o r e t h a n 130 c o u n t r i e s a g r e e d to w o r k o n d r a w i n g u p a n i n t e r e n a t i o n a l c o n v e n t i o n to d e a l w i t h g l o b a l w a r m i n g .

U n f o r t u n a t e l y specific i n t e r n a t i o n a l targets for t h e r e d u c t i o n in c a r b o n d i o x i d e e m i s s i o n s w e r e n o t set as the m i n i s t e r s c o u l d not agree o n a l e v e l . T h i s is not s u r p r i s i n g since e a c h m i n i s t e r has to l o o k after h i s / h e r o w n c o u n t i e s interests. A n d s o w i t h the p r i v a t i s a t i o n of the 12 r e g i o n a l e l e c t r i c i t y c o m p a n i e s o n the 5th of D e c e m b e r , M r C h r i s Patten ( E n v i r o m e n t a l S e c r e t a r y ) c o u l d not afford to agree to t o u g h e m i s s i o n c o n t r o l s w h i c h w o u l d m a k e the e l e c t r i c a l c o m p a n i e s l o o k u n f a v o u r a b l e to p o t e n t i a l share holders.

T h i s is the k i n d of t h i n k i n g that needs to be r e p l a c e d b y a m o r e l o n g - t e r m attitude of l o o k i n g i n t o the future b y 50 o r e v e n 500 y e a r s .

W i t h regards to the w o r l d ' s p o p u l a t i o n ; the future holds a r a p i d i n c r e a s e w h i c h w i l l result in a n upsurge i n t h e d e m a n d for e n e r g y . D e v e l o p i n g c o u n t r i e s w i l l w a n t to a c h e i v e the h i g h s t a n d a r d of l i v i n g of t h e i r w e s t e r n c o u n t e r p a r t s a n d so w i l l i n c r e a s e their e n e r g y c o n s u p t i o n . I do not t h i n k that a n y o n e has a n y objections to p e o p l e i n c r e a s i n g their s t a n d a r d of l i v i n g , but the q u e s t i o n is, c a n the w o r l d afford this w i t h regards to its e n e r g y resources? C o n s i d e r o u r c u r r e n t m e t h o d s of e n e r g y p r o d u c t i o n a n d the a n s w e r is N O . In the case of fossil fuels the d a m a g e d o n e to the c l i m a t e f r o m

v a r i o u s e m i s s i o n s is the m a i n obstacle, w h e r e a s w i t h n u c l e a r p o w e r the w a s t e p r o d u c e d is t h e m a i n p r o b l e m .

So, w h a t a r e the o p t i o n s ? W e l l , for o n e t h i n g e n e r g y loss c a n be r e d u c e d so that w e c a n m a k e the most of w h a t w e h a v e n o w . E n e r g y efficency c a n b e i m p r o v e d b o t h i n i n d u s t r y a n d i n the h o m e . H o u s e s can be d e s i g n e d w i t h e n e r g y c o n s e r v a t i o n in m i n d ; a n d e v e n the insides of o u r h o m e s c a n be m a d e m o r e efficent. T h e use of l o w e n e r g y bulbs s a v e s 8 0 % of the e n e r g y a n o r m a l b u l b w o u l d use.

In i n d u s t r y taxes a n d i n c e n t i v e s c a n b e u s e d to e n c o u r a g e a m o v e t o w a r d s l o w e n e r g y s y s t e m s a n d p r o d u c t s at suitable market prices. Transport a n d agriculture can also be m a d e m o r e e n e g y efficent. In the case of t r a n s p o r t it s h o u l d be stressed that a c c e s s i b i l i t y is m o r e i m p o r t a n t the m o b i l i t y , a n d p u b l i c t r a n s p o r t s h o u l d be i m p r o v e d to s u c h a l e v e l as to decrease the n e e d for p r i v a t e cars w i t h o u t loss of amenity. W i t h agriculture energy can be s a v e d b y d e c r e a s i n g the distance of d i s t r i b u t i o n as w e l l as m a k i n g the a c t u a l f a r m i n g m e t h o d s less i n t e n s i v e .

A s w e l l as i n c r e a s i n g e n e r g y efficency w e n e e d to g r a d u a l l y p h a s e out fossil fuels. E a s t e r n E u r o p e a n c o u n t r i e s are a l r e a d y facing a decrease i n the a m o u n t of o i l a v a i l a b l e to t h e m (because of a d o u b l e o i l s h o c k , r e s u l t i n g f r o m the i n c r e a s e in the p r i c e of o i l a n d the r e m o v a l of S o v i e t oil). A s i m i l a r s i t u i a t i o n w i l l h a v e to be faced b y m a n y c o u n t r i e s in 30 y e a r s t i m e w h e n w h e n fossil fuels b e c o m e scares. F o r the p a h s e i n g out process n a t u r a l gas c a n t a k e the p l a c e of o i l , c o a l a n d n u c l e a r fuels. T h i s is because the emissions f r o m n a t u r a l gas are 6 times less t h a n those for c o a l .

T h e rest o r o u r e n e r g y d e m a n d s w i l l h a v e to be met b y r e n e w a b l e resouces s u c h as: solar, w i n d , w a v e , b i o m a s s a n d g e o t h e r m a l . So far because of the h e a v y i n v e s t m e n t into n u c l e a r p o w e r r e n e w a b l e r e s o u r c e s h a v e l a r g e l y b e e n i g n o r e d . But t h e y are b o u n d to b e c o m e i m p o r t a n t i n the near future, as e v e n t h e g o v e n m e n t agree that r e n e w a b l e r e s o u r c e s c a n meet 2 0 % of the n a t i o n a l e n e r g y needs. T h e t e c h n o l o g y is a v a i l a b l e but w i t h o u t g o v e r n m a n t a l a c t i o n a n d p u b l i c pressure the m o v e to r e n e w a b l e r e s o u r c e s w i l l be s l o w , a n d t i m e is of the essence.

T h e r e f o r e d e v e l o p e d c o n t r i e s n e e d to r e v i e w their e n e r g y p r o d u c t i o n systems a n d c o n s i d e r m o r e efficent a l t e r n a t i v e s , i n o r d e r to set a n e x a m p l e for the d e v e l o p i n g c o u n t r i e s h o p i n g to f o l l o w i n t h e ir footsteps.

Shadi K h o r o u s h i

11

Loretto O'Callaghan on the new self-catering residence in Ealing.

ff FELIX Location

Clayponds

T h e r e s i d e n t i a l site is l o c a t e d at South E a l i n g , o n t h e b o r d e r of E a l i n g a n d H o u n s l o w . It is just to the west of G u n n e r s b u r y P a r k , close to the S o u t h E a l i n g R o a d a n d w i t h i n c y c l i n g distance of the C o l l e g e .

In J a n u a r y 1991, Phase 1 of the n e w self-catering project at I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e ' s S o u t h E a l i n g R e s i d e n t i a l Estate, C l a y p o n d s , w i l l be c o m p l e t e d .

W h e n the project is w h o l l y c o m p l e t e d (by S e p t e m b e r 1991), it is e n v i s a g e d that 400 students a n d s o m e staff w i l l l i v e o n t h e Estate i n a m i x of single r o o m s , d o u b l e r o o m s a n d bedsitters i n h o u s i n g as illustrated a b o v e .

This attractive a c c o m m o d a t i o n is m o d e r n w i t h b a t h r o o m s a n d kitchens—ratio 1:2 students a n d not m o r e t h a n 1:5 students. A l l k i t c h e n s a r e fully fitted w i t h c o o k e r , fridge a n d w a s h i n g m a c h i n e facilities.

E a c h unit of a c c o m m o d a t i o n is situated i n l a n d s c a p e d gardens w i t h a d e q u a t e on-site c a r p a r k i n g facilities.

the u n d e r g r o u n d , buses a n d B r i t i s h R a i l w i t h i n the designated zones. T h e current cost is £ 1 2 . 4 0 for a w e e k l y c a r d a n d £ 4 7 . 7 0 for a m o n t h l y o n e . S i n g l e fare is £ 1 . 3 0 a n d r e t u r n fare is £ 2 . 6 0 .

A d a i l y T r a v e l Pass c a n be p u r c h a s e d for £ 2 . 3 0 .

Recreation Facilities E a l i n g has 11 sports c e nt re s, three w i t h s w i m m i n g p o o l s . T h e closest to the d e v e l o p m e n t is E t h e r t o n e P a r k w h i c h caters for most i n d o o r sports. T h e nearest s w i m m i n g p o o l is i n A c t o n a n d has just been refurbished. In a d d i t i o n to sports centres, G u n n e r s b u r y P a r k p r o v i d e s o u t d o o r tennis courts a n d a b o a t i n g lake.

W h i l s t G u n n e r s b u r y is the closest p a r k , across K e w B r i d g e to the south t h e r e are the R o y a l B o t a n i c a l G a r d e n s a n d i m m e d i a t e l y to the west lies O s t e r l e y P a r k . In the s u m m e r the l o c a l parks b e c o m e a focus for a c t i v i t y , w i t h the c o u n c i l o r g a n i s i n g sports a n d c u l t u r a l events.

Further Information Local Amenities A g o o d range of l o c a l shops is to be f o u n d R o a d , a short w a l k f r o m t h e site. T h e m a i n in E a l i n g B r o a d w a y a n d h o u s i n g the E a l i n g T h i s p r o v i d e s a w i d e r a n g e of ' H i g h Street' restaurants a n d bars.

F o r further i n f o r m a t i o n please contact: o n the S o u t h E a l i n g s h o p p i n g c e n t r e is B r o a d w a y Centre. shops, banks,

L o r e t t o O ' C a l l a g h a n or A l i s o n H o l l i n g w o r t h I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e of S c i e n c e , T e c h n o l o g y a n d M e d i c i n e T h e A c c o m m o d a t i o n Office 15 P r i n c e s G a r d e n s London SW7 1NA

Eligibility of Applicants A p p l i c a t i o n forms for a c c o m m o d a t i o n at C l a y p o n d s are a v a i l a b l e T h e a c c o m m o d a t i o n is a v a i l a b l e to p e r s o n s s t u d y i n g until the now! e n d of this A c a d e m i c Y e a r , p e o p l e w h o w i s h to r e m a i n i n L o n d o n for t h e S u m m e r a n d those w h o r e q u i r e a c c o m m o d a t i o n C l o s i n g date for a p p l i c a t i o n s for Phase I is Friday 14 for the n e x t A c a d e m i c Y e a r 1 9 9 1 / 9 2 Session. A n y b o d y d o i n g a four y e a r c o u r s e or e x t e n d i n g studies w i l l be w e l c o m e to r e m a i n December 1990. at C l a y p o n d s .

Exclusive Rents Rents for the 1 9 9 0 / 9 1 Session are: £ 4 2 p e r w e e k for a single r o o m £ 3 0 p e r w e e k for a b e d i n a d o u b l e r o o m £ 8 2 p e r w e e k for a c o u p l e (no children)

World Leaders in Student Travel

Bills s u c h as gas a n d e l e c t r i c i t y are p a y a b l e i n a d d i t i o n to rent.

By Road T h e site gives r e a d access to J u n c t i o n 2 of the M 4 M o t o r w a y w h i c h , to t h e east, feeds into the G r e a t West R o a d . T h i s leads d i r e c t l y into the S o u t h K e n s i n g t o n c a m p u s . T o the n o r t h of the site is the U x b r i d g e R o a d w h i c h leads into C e n t r a l L o n d o n a n d the P a d d i n g t o n c a m p u s . T h e j o u r n e y into the c e n t r e is n o m o r e than 8 miles.

By Underground and British Rail S o u t h E a l i n g U n d e r g r o u n d Station, o n the P i c c a d i l l y L i n e , is just o v e r half a m i l e to the n o r t h west of t h e site, a n d p r o v i d e s a q u i c k a n d frequent s e r v i c e to S o u t h K e n s i n g t o n . T h e j o u r n e y takes 15 m i n u t e s. C h a n g i n g to the District L i n e at E a r l ' s C o u r t p r o v i d e s a r o u t e into the P a d d i n g t o n c a m p u s . A l t e r n a t i v e l y , there is a frequent B r i t i s h R a i l l o c a l s e r v i c e to P a d d i n g t o n f r o m E a l i n g B r o a d w a y . T h i s t a k es ten m i n u t e s.

Low Cost Flights on Quality •

Bus services are most useful for local t r a v e l in E a l i n g a n d there is a n e x t e n s i v e s e r v i c e . Buses, r u n n i n g at intervals of 15 minutes or less for most of the d a y , c o n n e c t Little E a l i n g a n d E a l i n g B r o a d w a y , t h e m a i n s h o p p i n g centre. A s i m i l a r s e r v i c e runs to A c t o n — u s e f u l for access to sports a n d leisure facilities.

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Cost T h e most cost effective w a y for students to p a y for their t r a v e l is a w e e k l y or m o n t h l y T r a v e l c a r d , g i v i n g u n l i m i t e d t r a v e l o n

ULU TRAVEL

H&ilg (EfteJPP^Il W I N A

WIN A WEEK IN T H E USA

WEEK IN T H E USA

Enlighten the public with science A recent Gallup poll showed that many members of the public view scientists as poor communicators reluctant to discuss their work. For the sake of future science it is important for a new generation of scientists to convey their ideas clearly and to be willing to do so.

For example, you could write about research being undertaken at a local hospital or laboratory, or something you have read about in recent scientific publications like New Scientist or Nature. Dinosaurs, the environment they're just some of the possibilities.

Professor Colin Blakemore of Oxford University has urged scientists to dispel the ignorance about science and technology recorded by the poll. "The time has come," he said, "to tell the public what we do and why it is important." With this aim, The Daily Telegraph launched the Young Science Writer Awards in conjunction with the British Association for the Advancement of Science and Technology.

If you are involved in original research do not worry if it is incomplete, citing other work is acceptable if your own has not yet borne fruit.

Entrants do not need to possess the literary abilities of Dickens. The important thing is that enthusiasm should shine through the writing, which will be judged by our panel of scientists and science writers.

Whatever you choose, you must identify your sources. If you feel diagrams or illustrations would be helpful, include them in your entry. It doesn't matter how sketchy they are.

Many winning entrants and runners up from each age group have already seen their work published in The Daily Telegraph's Monday Science page.

W i n a week in the USA

One of the judges, Sir David Philips, FRS, Chairman of the Advisory Board for the Research Council and one of Britain's most influential scientists has said of the Awards, "We hope to encourage young scientists to take seriously the problem of explaining what they do to the public at large."

The best article in each age category will win the entrant an all expenses paid trip to Chicago for the world's —J biggest and most exciting science jamboree, the 1992 • F Meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, plus £500.

The second prize is a year's subscription to Nature and New Scientist, The competition is open to young scientists in two age groups, 16£250, plus an invitation to attend 21 and 22-28, whether working or students.

SCIENCE 91, the British Association's annual festival of science and technology, BRITISH ASSOCIATION to be held in Plymouth, August 26-30,1991.

Your article published in The Daily Telegraph

t w$xv& mu%u Promoting Science mitlTeclniolofii)

Entrants are required to write a short article of about 700-800 words that presents any exciting scientific discovery or topic of research in a vivid way. Your article needs to be understood by the general newspaper reader. So avoid scientific jargon and make your writing clear, informative and entertaining. Write about any scientific discovery that you feel will be of interest to readers.

Young Science Writer Awards 1991

Further runners up will also receive subscriptions, £100, and the opportunity of having articles published.

In addition - for every school pupil reaching the final round of judging, a prize will be awarded to their school. For a more detailed guide and copies of last year's winning entries, please write to the competition address shown below.

Send your entry to: Mr. Justin Wyllie, British Association, Fortress House, 23 Savile Row, London W1X 1AB, to arrive not later than February 23,1991. Make sure that your entry clearly shows the age category you are entering, your full name, date of birth, school/university/place of work, contact address and telephone number.

T H E J U D G E S . Professor Sir David Philips: Chairman, Advisory Board for the Research Council. Dr. Mary Archer: Scientist and Company Director. Nuala Moran: Managing Editor, Nature Magazine.

Mr. Richard Fiheld: Executive Editor, New Scientist Magazine. Professor Heinz Wolff: Institute of Bio Engineering, Brunei University. Dr. Roger Highfield: Science Editor, The Daily Telegraph. Sir Walter Bodmer: Director of Research, Imperial Cancer Research. Professor Lewis Woipert: A Vice President, British Association. Dr. Peter Newmark: Managing Director, Current Biology Ltd. The judges will assess your articles on content, quality of writing, your age, and any graphic illustrations you propose.

C O M P E T I T I O N R U L E S . 1. Entrants must be aged between 16 and 28 (inclusive) at 23.3.91. 2. Entries must be typed or legibly written in ink or ballpoint. 3. Entries over 800 words in length (not including description of any graphic illustration) will be disqualified. 4. The judges' decision is final and no correspondence on the nature of assessment or the results will be entered into. 5. Competition is open to UK residents only. Employees (and their families) of The Daily Telegraph pic, subsidiary or associated companies, advertising and promotion agencies are not eligible. 6. The Daily Telegraph Standard Competition Rules apply. They can be obtained by sending a stamped addressed envelope to Mr. Justin Wyllie at the address shown above.

!§ J3^)l*t • ••••••••••••••••••••• • SPORT

ULU Upper Reserves

Women's Basketball

O n S a t u r d a y N o v e m b e r 17 the U A U tournament w a s held i n Essex University.

T h i s first r o u n d m a t c h of the U L U c u p W e started off the d a y w i t h s e v e n p l a y e r s a n d o n e of w h i c h w a s i n j u r e d. So o n e of w a s p l a y e d i n t r u e C u p t r a d i t i o n as the a g o n y a n d ecstacy p i l e d h i g h e r w i t h e a c h o u r m a i n p l a y e r s w a s out. T h e first g a m e, m i n u t e as the game's fortunes against Sussex, w a s easy. It w a s n i c e r o l l e r c o a s t e r e d . IC found t h e m s e l v e s g o i n g a n d w e beat t h e m b y 11 points. h a v i n g to defeat the e l e m e n t s as m u c h as Right after this 4 0 m i n u t e g a m e w e h a d L S E . T h e H a r l i n g t o n h o w l e r m a d e it a n o t h e r o n e against K e n t . U n f o r t u n a t e l y difficult for IC to p l a y t h e i r c o m p o s e d w e w e r e so t i r e d that w e just couldn't pa ssi ng g a m e . Despite this IC swept into k e e p up w i t h t h e m . W e lost a n o t h e r the l e a d as A J a l a n finished off a great p l a y e r half-way t h r o u g h this g a m e . So m o v e . D e f e n s i v e errors a n d m i s s e d n o w w e h a d to be careful as w e o n l y h a d c h a n c e s s a w t h e half-time s c o r e 2-1 to five p l a y e r s left.

L S E . W i t h the w i n d b e h i n d t h e m , IC O u r t h i r d a n d last g a m e w a s the l e v e l l e d f r o m a M P l u m m e r spectacular, hardest a n d w e h a d to w i n it to go to the m i n u t e s into the s e c o n d half. IC w e r e semi-finals. D u r i n g the w h o l e g a m e w e n o w c a m p e d i n L S E ' s half w h o still w e r e a l l n e r v o u s a n d uptight. O n l y five m a n a g e d to t a k e the l e a d a g a i n . p l a y e r s so w e c o u l d n ' t lose a n y m o r e . W e O p p o r t u n i s t goals from S B a r r y a n d A s c o r e d o n e basket, t h e y s c o r e d a n o t h e r J a l a n g a v e IC a d e s e r v e d 4-3 l e a d . IC n o w a n d it w a s close a l l the w a y . A t the last d o m i n a t e d u n t i l the e n d w h e n L S E defied ten seconds w e w e r e u p b y three points the odds a n d gods to force e x t r a t i m e . but u n f o r t u n a t e l y t h e y w e r e able to score IC's e x t r a class, fitness a n d d e t e r m i n a t i o n a l u c k y three p o i n t e r . T i m e e n d e d a n d t o l d i n e x t r a t i m e . S i m o n B a r r y a n d his w e w e r e t i r e d . W e h a d five minutes w o o d e n l e g dealt the k i l l e r b l o w just e x t e n d e d t i m e a n d m a n a g e d to beat t h e m m i n u t e s before the n e e d for penalties. b y o n e basket. T h e d a y w a s l o n g a n d L S E w e r e left c r y i n g a n d IC w e r e left t i r i n g but w e h a d the result that w i l l take b e l i e v i n g ' O u r n a m e is o n the Cup!'. us to the semi-finals.

IC II—5

LSE-4

Football IC V I - 5

MUCH I I - 1

IC 6ths h a d t o w a i t for o v e r a n hour i n c o l d a n d w i n d y c o n d i t i o n s for M i d d l e s e x a n d U n i v e r s i t y C o l l e g e H o s p i t a l to s u m m o n up t h e c o u r a g e to face t h e m . IC h a d their biggest c r o w d of the season, injured D a v e B u c k l e e s c o r t e d b y t w o female a d m i r e r s , a n d they w e r e d e t e r m i n e d n o t to d i s a p p o i n t t h e m . T h e 6ths t o o k c o m m a n d of the g a m e i m m e d i a t e l y but it w a s 20 minutes before R u b a n R a m a c h a n d r a n o p e n e d the s c o r i n g w i t h , u n h e a r d of i n the 6ths, a header!

T h i s w a s the sign for IC to do their usual d e m o l i t i o n j o b , goals f r o m D a v e Phillips, A n d y B r i s c o e a n d A k i o Iwase m a d e it 4-0 at half-time.

T h e s e c o n d half s a w K e i t h C o r d e i r o c o n s o l i d a t e the lead. H o w e v e r , w i t h o u t the i n c r e d i b l e s k i l l a n d d e t e r m i n a t i o n of t h e ir b r i l l i a nt c a p t a i n (substituted) IC allowed Middlesex a consolation goal a few m i n t u e s f r o m t i m e . T h i s w i n puts the 6ths into the quarter finals of the U L U c u p a n d increases their g o a l s c o r i n g r e c o r d to 31 i n o n l y 5 g a m e s .

UAU Badminton IC Mens lsts—8 Surrey Mens lsts—1 IC Mens 2nds—9 Surrey Mens 2nds—0 IC Ladies—4 Surrey Ladies—5 W i t h L S E u n a b l e to p r o d u c e a t e a m this w e e k , IC p a l y e d their last m a t c h to c o m p l e t e the r o u n d - r o b i n . O f the three teams e n t e r e d i n the U A U c h a m p i o n s h i p s IC M e n s l s t s a n d 2nds m a n a g e d to m e r g e g r o u p w i n n e r s . U n l u c k i l y for t h e ladies t h e y failed b y o n e game. 1st p a i r W e n d y Tan and U t a Boltze gained t w o valuable points. 2 n d p a i r E m i l y F o k a n d F i o n a Gattely a n d 3 r d p a i r T r a c e y N o r m a n a n d C l a i r e R o b e r t s beat the w e a k e r S u r r e y 3 r d p a i r for a n o t h e r t w o poi nt s. A t four games e a c h o u r 3 r d pair p u t u p a g o o d fight against S u r r e y 2nds before c o n c e e d i n g a three-setter 11-15 i n the r u b b e r set.

IC ladies n o w face the play-offs before b e i n g able to p r o c e e d into the n e x t r o u n d . G o o d l u c k to a l l t h r e e t e a ms i n having a favourable draw.

Hockey ICHC 3rd X I - 1

Kodak I I - 1

S a t u r d a y s a w the r e t u r n of the 3rds a n n u a l b r a w l w i t h K o d a k . M u c h to o u r surprise, the g a m e w a s p l a y e d i n a g o o d n a t u r e d m a n n e r , w i t h n o s e n d i n g offs.

T h e g a m e started w e l l for IC, w i t h the forwards d u c k i n g a n d diving with victory their o n l y a i m . O n l y l u c k s a v e d K o d a k for c o n c e e d i n g n u m e r o u s goals, but a l u c k y K o d a k b r e a k a w a y s a w t h e m score w i t h about 2 0 m inut es g o n e .

T h e s e c o n d half w a s m u c h the same a n d w e w e r e r e w a r d e d b y V i c Parfitt p u t t i n g a w a y a text-book short c o r n e r , perfectly s t o p p e d b y Matt W o n g . A l s o a m u s i n g w a s M a r c u s H a w k e y ' s attempt to neuter himself, a n d M u r r a y H o l d s w o r t h s m a s h e d a p l a y e r ' s s o n i n the k n e e s h o r t l y after he c a m e o n at the e n d of the game. E v e n m o r e a m a z i n g w a s the fact that w e p l a y e d w i t h o n l y t e n m e n , a n d another p l a y e r w o u l d h a v e l e d to a m a s s i v e IC s c o r e .

Ladies' Football It a l l seems to be g o i n g h o r r i b l y w r o n g for the D r i b b l e r s this season. T h e y just can't take t h e i r beer a n y m o r e a n d t h e y ' v e e v e n started to w i n a few matches. O l d T r i c i a B r a d l e y is t u r n i n g i n her g r a v e . It a l l started w i t h losing b y o n l y o n e g o a l to K i n g s w i t h a 4-3 result, but t h e n things got c o m p l e t e l y out of h a n d w h e n t h e y o u n g D r i b b l e r s beat L o n d o n H o s p i t a l 5-0. A n u n r e l e n t i n g series of b r u t a l tackles b y a n e x - h o c k e y p l a y e r against the o p p o s i t i o n ' s v i k i n g a n d the P e l e l i k e skills of M r s L i n e k e r (Permy) s o o n h a d the D r i b b l e r s o n a p a t h to v i c t o r y . N e x t to e x p e r i e n c e these n e w found skills w a s the U n i v e r s i t y of East A n g l i a . T h e s e y o k e l s from t h e East w e r e g o b s t r u c k b y t h e a w e s o m e talents of the Dribblers w h i c h included a tremendous verbal performance between Mrs G a s c o i g n e (alias Nina) a n d a m e m b e r of the o p p o s i t i o n w i t h suspect tendencies.

M r s L i n e k e r s c o r e d her a c c u s t o m a r y three goals a n d w e j u g g e d a c c o r d i n g l y .

N e x t it w a s off to p l a y U C L w i t h o n e p l a y e r short a n d n o W i l l i e J o h n i n sight!!

W e l l this w a s a g a m e of t w o halfs a n d the girls d o n e w e l l w i t h the defence benefitting f r o m the w i s d o m of the late great L u c y , a star of y e s t e r y e a r , also famous for h e r talent i n o b t a i n i n g m i n i b u s k e y s. T h e girls got a result a n y w a y of 1-1 but u n f o r t u n a t e l y w e r e a g a i n not o n f o r m for the b o a t r a c e a n d the m a n a g e r is n o w c o n s i d e r i n g s e n d i n g the t e a m to a d r i n k f a r m for a w e e k e n d to r e m e d y the situation.

Arts Week T h e A r t s W e e k is a n a n n u a l festival h e l d at IC, s p o n s o r e d b y the W e s t L o n d o n C h a p l a i n c y in c o n j u n c t i o n w i t h IC U n i o n , c e l e b r a t i n g t h e ' A r t s ' in a l l shapes, m a n n e r s a n d forms.

T h e A r t s W e e k consists of F R E E l u n c h t i m e gigs b y p r o f e s s i o n a l artists e v e r y d a y , for a w e e k , in t h e U n i o n L o u n g e , a l o n g w i t h a g a l l e r y in the Sherfield A n t e r o o m .

T h e A r t s W e e k aims to b r o a d e n the h o r i z o n s a n d i n c r e a se the a w a r e n e s s a n d e x p r e s s i v e a b i l i t y of a l l IC students, as a constrast to t h e v e r y scientifically d o m i n a t e d e n v i r o n m e n t , w e live a n d w o r k i n . F o r the first t i m e this y e a r , w e are p l a n n i n g to h o l d t w o p a r t i c i p a t i o n o r i e n t a t e d w o r k s h o p s o n the W e d n e s d a y afternoons, o p e n i n g a n d c l o s i n g the w e e k .

T h e first w i t h a bias t o w a r d s ' R o c k ' styles of m u s i c a n d t h e s e c o n d , m o r e biased t o w a r d s classical skills. B o t h w i l l g i v e a n i n f o r m a l o p p o r t u n i t y to p e r f o r m .

Splot Soc A t 7.30am o n Saturday N o v e m b e r 10 a n assortment of c a m o - c l a d w a r r i o r s met outside Beit, m u c h to the c o n c e r n of the p o l i c e . A t 10.30 w e a r r i v e d at F i n m e r e , near O x f o r d . T h i s is a S u r v i v a l G a m e site a n d hosted the 1990 E u r o p e a n C h a m p i o n s h i p s . F o r the ' V i r g i n ' paintballers it was to be a b a p t i s m of fire as this was o n e of the best w o o d l a n d sites w e have se e n.

T h e g r o u p w a s split into o r a n g e a n d y e l l o w teams a n d the games c o m m e n c e d .

T h e first g a m e was w o n to O r a n g e but the s e c o n d d r a w n . G a m e 3 — ' M e r c e n a r i e s ' .

H e r e an i n d e p e n d e n t 'blue' t e a m w r e a c k e d h a v o c , w h i l e the y e l l o w s a n d oranges a t t e m p t e d to p l a y a n o r m a l flag game. Y e l l o w w i n .

G a m e 4—'Spies'. N o r m a l flag g a m e but w i t h u n d e r c o v e r team m e m b e r s t r y i n g to cause as m u c h confusion as possible.

O r a n g e w i n due to severe d e p l e t i o n of y e l l o w t e a m b y the D y n a m i c D u o , Lester and Leo. G a m e s 5 & 6—'Fort'. B o t h games w e r e

w o n b y the d e f e n d i n g t e a m; a l t h o u g h the fort w a s s e v e r e l y ' r e d e c r a t e d ' .

G a m e 7 & 8—'Speedball'. T h i s w a s p l a y e d in a 50 y a r d netted square, b e h i n d plastic w a t e r putts, in the o p e n . T h e games w e r e fast, furious, e x p e n s i v e a n d c h a o t i c, w i t h targets c l e a r l y v i s i b l e a n d p e o p l e l e a v i n g the field e v e r y other s e c o n d . 1st g a m e to oranges, 2 n d g a m e to y e l l o w s .

G a m e 9 — ' T o p g u n ' . P l a y e d in the g a t h e r i n g dusk a n d w o r s e n i n g r a i n , this g a m e redefines the w o r d p a r a n o i a . It's a l l against a l l , the w i n n e r b e i n g the p e r s o n w h o bags most of the others. W i n n e r s w i l l say its d o w n to s k i l l , stealth a n d a c c u r a c y (well d o n e Steve H a l l e y a r d ) . It's m y o p i n i o n that it's b l i n d luck.

A n d so the games c o n c l u d e d w i t h O r a n g e v i c t o r y , due m a i n l y to the success of the y e l l o w spies. O u t s t a n d i n g p e r f o r m a n c e s i n c l u d e d all the F l a g Grabbers, all y o u people w h o zeroed a 'big g u n ' a n d e v e r y o n e w h o h a d a g o o d time.

T h e A r t s W e e k w i l l be f r o m the 2 3 r d to 30th J a n u a r y 1991, so i n k the dates i n y o u r diaries a n d w a t c h this space for m o r e i n f o r m a t i o n a n d p r e v i e w s of the talent.

Orienteering T h i s y e a r the N o v e m b e r Classic was h e l d in the N e w F o r e s t , f o r t u n a t e l y it was the same a r e a as the U A U b a c k i n Easter.

T h i s t i m e the w e a t h e r was against us. W e ran t h r o u g h m u d a n d s w a m p i n an attempt to g a i n the shortest time, o n l y to be just out-classed. T o m e g a i n e d a 3 r d in the w o m e n ' s U 2 1 , J e r m y T o m g e m a n a g e d v a l i e n t l y to c o m e in 4th p o s i t i o n i n the men's 194.

The Cambridge Sprinto was held in E p p i n g Forest this y e a r for s o m e strange r e a s o n . A s u s u a l w e all started off together i n a c i r c l e to c o m p l e t e the familiar figure of eight. A f t e r m u c h fighting w i t h t h e w i l d e r n e s s , T o m e r e t u r n e d to find she w a s 7 t h a n d t h r o u g h to the n e x t r o u n d w h e r e she was beaten.

H a n s R u h y n c a m e v e r y c l o s e to a p o s i t i o n i n the m e n s B F i n a l .

N o r t h a m p t o n s h i r e — C h u r c h i l l C u p '90.

T h e foggie A u t u m n a l m o r n i n g g a v e w a y to a b r i g h t a f t e r n o o n as w e left L o n d o n for N o r t h a m p t o n . T h e a r e a w e used was just outside a s m a l l v i l l a g e w i t h a friendly pub. W e a l l r a n h a r d in a n a t t e m pt to beat B i r m i n g h a m a n d A s t o n U n i v e r s i t i e s but w e r e w e l l b e a t e n o n the day. O n l y T o m e m a n a g e d a n y t h i n g l i k e a fine r u n a n d a c h i e v e d a 4 t h p l a c e i n the w o m e n s event.

Canoeing Report I C C C t o o k off o n its s e c o n d 'beginners w e e k e n d ' at 7 o ' c l o c k o n F r i d a y N o v e m b e r 9. O u r d e s t i n a t i o n w a s a s c h o o l field course centre s o m e w h e r e near the B r e c o n B e a c o n s , w h i c h w e r e a c h e d after five hours of fog-bound speeding and one memorable emergency stop.

O n a r r i v a l w e d i s c o v e r e d that the k e y was p r o b a b l y still stuck i n a j a m o n the M 4 a n d so w e c a l l e d u p o n one of our m o r e flexible m e m b e r s to i n v e r t himself t h r o u g h a s m a l l top w i n d o w . This a c c o m p l i s h e d , w e e n t e r e d a n d found w e w e r e to s p e n d the w e e k e n d in remarkable luxury.

Most of S a t u r d a y w a s a d i s a p p o i n t m e n t as w e s h u t t l e d to a n d fro i n s e a r c h of a peaceful stretch of w a t e r a w a y from the farmers a n d b u s y b o d i e s w h o had so far foiled a n y attempts o n o u r part to use o u r e q u i p m e n t , a n d w h o s u c c e e d e d in infuriating most of our negotiators, the most e x p e r i e n c e d canoeists.

It was late o n c e the c a n o e s d i d contact w a t e r , a n d half an h o u r later it was dark, p r e c l u d i n g a n y further o u t d o o r activities on o u r part.

M i d d a y s a w us o n the R i v e r Ithon, t r i b u t a r y of the U p p e r W y e a n d the first bit of real a c t i o n for most of the starters.

T h e trip was spent m o s t l y o n s l o w f l o w i n g peaceful waters a m i d st i d y l l i c s c e n e r y a n d c o l o u r f u l wildlife, w i t h the odd 'beginners' rapid' during w h i c h m u l t i p l e pile-ups h a p p e n e d .

The river stretched on a n d on and on, a n d b y dusk, the p i c k up point h a d not yet b e e n r e a c h e d . T h e first g r o u p , c o n t a i n i n g o n e b e g i n n e r , h a d to b r a v e an u n e x p e c t e d r a p i d , m o r e s e v e r e than before, i n b a d light, a n d the leaders d e c i d e d it w a s too r i s k y to c o n t i n u e .

Despite n u m e r o u s blisters, s e v e r a l soakings, exhaustion and m i l d h y p o t h e r m i a , a l l the b e g i n n e r s e n j o y e d it a n d w i l l be b a c k . F o r the pros', w e l l they found it a bit t a m e .

Scribblers'

Corner.

LETTERS

Caaba Dear

Chris,

How long are we to endure this bigoted, xenophobic sycophant, (look them up Alan). If I felt any need for such naive drivel I understand Gary Bushell wastes paper in a similar manner for that tabloid rag the Sun. That anyone can still hold such views is both sad and deplorable—a result of ignorance and intollerance.

Remembrance day is not simply about 'Our Boys' who made the supreme sacrifice for 'Queen and Country'. The 'glory' Alan revels in is a result of how we have fashioned history so as to appear in better light, coupled with a virtual hijacking of the ceremony by the Royal British Legion.

We seem to have chosen to recall only

Cab Dear Sir,

I would like to point out a small but important mistake on page 5 of last week's FELIX. The advert for the 'International Night' should have been 'International Ball'.

It is important to note the mistake because the 'International Night' is also organised by the Overseas Students Committee and is held at the end of February or the beginning of March. The 'International Night' is very popular and is widely believed to be one of the best events organised at Imperial College.

What's O n AN UP-TO-THE-MINUTE GUIDE TO EVENTS IN AND AROUND IMPERIAL COLLEGE

12.30pm

Southside Upper Lounge. Come and find out about weekend training. Weekly meeting.

Yacht Club Meeting

The 'International Ball' is another event organised to bring together people from different backgrounds. It is being held on December 4, from 9.30pm till 3am at 'The Park Discotheque'. Both these events are publicised at all the major colleges and polytechnics of London.

I hope this letter has cleared any confusion that may have risen from the misprint.

Yours faithfully, Chandan Singh (OSC Events

12.30pm

Officer)

EE3.

7.30pm

Badminton

Great Hall. New members welcome.

7.30pm

Water Polo

Sports Centre. Come along and join in.

12.40pm

Union Lounge.

Friday Prayers

Southside Gym.

l.OOpm

See Islamic Society.

Kung Fu

4.30pm

Union Gym. C.U.

Prayer Meeting

5.00pm

413 Maths.

Christian Union Meeting

6.00pm

308 Computing.

Swimming

8.30pm

Southside Bar.

Fencing Club Training

6.40pm

Club training.

Shaolin System Nam Pai Chuan

Southside Gym.

7.30pm

PG.

53 Cromwell Road.

UDH.

l.OOpm

All welcome.

10.30am

Southside Gym. 4.30pm

Kung Fu Club

Wu

Shu Kwan in the Union Gym. 6.00pm

Catholic Mass

53 Cromwell Road, followed by supper.

9.00pm

Boat Club

Putney Boathouse.

SATURDAY Boat Club

3.00pm

MONDAY

4.00pm

RockSoc Meeting

Putney Boathouse Tambo Peru

Ashwell House, Shepherdess Walk, off City Road, Old Street tube. Women volunteers required for 1991 project.

Kung Fu Club

Wu

4.30pm

Shu Kwan in Southside Gym.

Southside Upper Lounge. All welcome.

12.30pm

abnormalities

Basketball Club

5.30pm

Volleyball Court. Men's Team.

Keep Fit

5.30pm

Southside Gym.

6.30pm

Sports Centre. New members always welcome.

Physics

Yoga 8.00pm

Union Building. £4.50. We've saved the best until last!

Southside Disco

Austin,

Wargames

Huxley 413.

Rag Meeting

years to come to terms with these attrocities but at least Americans remember.

Contrary to what Alan would have us believe, it was not just the 'boys who did not make it back' who made sacrifices.

Millions in this country and throughout the world endured real suffering. Does he really believe that the two million Japanese who died from the blasts, fallout and radiation sickness all wanted to rule the world? Does every beer swilling, Audi driving 'Kraut' really want to rule Europe? 'Up yours Delors'? Wake up Alan this is 1990 not 1940.

Remembrance day is a means of forcing us to recall the horrors of all warfare, Dresden, Vietnam, Northern Ireland, the things of which we are least proud. It is not a time to glorify human suffering.

During this time of conflict it should be especially so. Will Alan only realise this when 'Our Boys' are being flown home from the Gulf in black plastic bags draped in Union Jacks?

For me Remembrance day is about many things and many images; The war widow at the front of the Church; the thousands who starved to death in occupied Holland; the mounds of dead bodies outside Auschwitz; the newly widowed mother in Northern Ireland, left to explain why to her child; the screams of children bathed in napalm; the terrified young conscripts—and, oh yes, the soldiers who did not make it back.

Darren

GUILDS CARNIVAL

FRIDAY Hang Gliding

the conflicts we 'won'; the two World Wars; the Falklands confict, no mention is made of the Boer War, the last Britain 'lost', or the continuing conflict in Northern Ireland.

Alan condemns the horrific attrocities committed in the Japanese concentration camps but conveniently makes no mention that this 'noble country' tried to systematically elminate the Afrikaner people in similar death camps, whilst treating the Black population worse than animals—still feel patriotic, Alan?

Clearly Alan has never visited the Vietnam war memorial in Washington, there one will find no 'glory', only the pain and recognition of the true cost of war.

America lost that war, and in doing so lost much of her spirit. It took ten

Rock 'n' Roll Lessons

SUNDAY Sunday Service

JCR. 10.00am

Anteroom Sherfield Building. See West London Chaplaincy.

Catholic Chaplaincy Mass

11.00am

6.00pm

Intermediate.

Swimming

6.30pm

Sports Centre. New members always welcome.

Cabal

Cabala

Dear FELIX, In response to A l a n B a i l e y ' s letter of issue 883 of F E L I X . I, l i k e P r i n c e C h a r l e s , w a s not at the C e n o t a p h last c o m m e m o r a t i o n day. P e r s o n a l l y , 1 c o u l d never partake i n such a n event w h i c h m a k e s m e n w h o fought i n t h e W a r s heroes a n d , i n so d o i n g , it glorifies t he cause for w h i c h they d i e d . T h e s e m e n w e n t a w a y t o k i l l f e l l ow h u m a n s w i t h guns, just as a l a m e horse might b e put d o w n . But instead of t he m o t i v e b e i n g s y m p a t h y , it w a s h a t r ed a n d fear.

Of a l l those p e o p l e w h o l i v e d a n d d i e d in t he W a r s , w e s h o u l d r e m e m b e r those w h o w o u l d n o t fight, all those 'cowards', afraid to die, a n d e q u a l l y afraid to k i l l . T o m e t he real c o w a r d s w e r e those w h o sought for a s o l u t i o n i n m a s s a c r e a n d m a y h e m , a l l the w h i l e c l a i m i n g that this was what t h e y fought to p r e v e n t .

It is c o m m o n belief that t he hardships a n d sufferings caused b y t h e W a r s is justified w h e n t he attrocities of defeat a r e c o n s i d e r e d . N o w w e face t h e s a m e d i l e m m a i n the Gulf. A n d e v e r y t i m e t h r o u g h the ages w h e n p e o p l e have faced s u c h p r o b l e m s 'fellow p a t r i o t i c c o u n t r y m e n ' h a v e g a t h e r e d t o fight a n d protect their c o u n t r y , a n d t h e i r society. Is this n o t p r o o f e n o u g h that there is something fundamentally w r o n g with our society, o r a r e patriotic causes the o n l y times w h e n m u r d e r m a y b e permitted?

W e allot ouselves territories, speak o u r o w n l a n g u a g e, m a k e o u r o w n l a w s , a n d w i l l r e a d i l y dismiss another p e r s o n for n o better reason t h a n that he l i v es w i t h i n a Rock n Roll 7.00pm JCR. Beginners Badminton 7.30pm Great Hall.

HG Wells Soc Meeting 7.30pm Physics LT1. George Legg, B B C technical bod speaks.

7.30pm Water Polo Sports Centre. Come along and try one of the most physically demanding sports.

Latin American 8.00pm JCR. Beginners/Improvers

TUESDAY C.U. Prayer Meeting Chaplain's Office Riding Club Meeting Southside Upper Lounge.

Radio Modellers Southside Lounge.

Cathsoc Mass Mech Eng 702. Followed by lunch.

Sailing Club Southside Lounge.

Ski Club Southside Upper Lounge

8.30pm

set of i m a g i n a r y lines.

H a t r e d is passed d o w n f r o m generation to g e n e r a t i o n , s o that w e c a n b e fighting o u r Grandfather's w a r w i t h t he G r a n d c h i l d r e n of his e n e m y . S i m i l a r l y w e can i g n o r e a l l the hardships e x i s t i n g outside our c o u n t r y , b y m a k i n g t he g o v e r n m e n t s of those p e o p l e responsible.

1 w i l l not respect those w h o d i e d w h i l e they w e r e p r e p a r e d to k i l l , neither c a n I r e c o n c i l e t he v i e w that b y r e m e m b e r i n g the sadness of w a r , w e p r e v e n t it i n t he future.

Yours sincerely, Dominic Jenkin.

VAN BOOKINGS For X m a s / N e w Year.

A l l applications to Michelle in the Union Office by Friday 23rd November.

5.30pm Radio Modellers Student training workshop, Mech Eng. Keep Fit 5.30pm Southside G y m .

Amenesty International 5.30pm Clubs Committee Room. Weekly meeting.

Wine Tasting Soc 6.00pm Union Lounge. Weekly meeting.

Social Ballroom 6.00pm JCR. Beginners.

Judo 6.30pm Union Gym. Latin American 7.00pm JCR. Bronze Medal Class.

Yoga 8.00pm Southside G y m .

12.30pm

WEDNESDAY

12.30pm

Keep Fit 12.30pm Southside Gym. Cycling Training 1.00pm Meet at Beit Arch.

Wargames 1.00pm U D H . A l l welcome.

Micro Club Meeting 1.15pm Top floor NW corner Union Building. Every

12.30pm 12.30pm 12.45pm

Dear Chris, 1 had to d o s o m e r e s e a r c h before w r i t i n g this letter i n response to A l a n B a i l e y ' s of Issue 883 just i n o r d e r to c h e c k that his letter was n o t a joke i n t h e poorest of tastes. U n f o r t u n a t e l y , h a v i n g b e e n i n f o r m e d that this p a r t i c u l a r i n d i v i d u a l w a s w e l l k n o w n for his p o o r l y i n f o r m e d , b i g o t e d , ill-reasoned a n d x e n o p h o b i c v i e w s a n d was therefore quite capable of w r i t i n g this k i n d of ignorant trash, I t o o k u p p e n to w r i t e .

T h e pen, they say, is sharper t h a n t h e Samurai sword.

W h i l e I respect a n d a m grateful for t he sacrifices m a d e b y m e n a n d w o m e n to defend B r i t a i n i n t w o w o r l d w a r s a n d thus b e l i e v e i n t he v a l i d i t y of a d a y of r e m e m b r a n c e for t h e m I c a n n o t elevate t h e m to d e m i - g o d status as does M r B a i l e y . W a r is not g l o r i o u s , t he p e o p l e who died i n the wars w h i l e being brave a n d selfless w e r e n o t h e r o e s at all—just people unfortunate e n o u g h to have b e e n c a l l e d u p o n to fight—I'm sure n o n e of t h e m w o u l d h a v e preferred fighting to other activities. A t t he C e n o t a p h , m a n y h i g h l y r e s p e c t ed people w e r e present giving ample representation. People who r e v e r e t he sacrifices of w a r a n d constantly d r a g u p t he suffering a n d p a i n of these dreadful incidents a r e people, probably m u c h like M r B a i l e y — w ho was not o l d e n o u g h to r e m e m b e r a n y of t he h o r r o r s of w a r (neither a m I) a n d if c a l l e d to fight w o u l d p r o b a b l y shit himself. L e t us n o t forget t he salient facts that n o one's w a r r e c o r d is clean—the B r i t i s h continued week.

Kung Fu Union Gym. Rowing Club Putney Boathouse.

Shaolin System Nam Pai Chuan Southside Gym. Basketball Club Volleyball Court. Women's Team Kung Fu Club Union Gym. Wu Shu Kwan.

overleaf 1.30pm 2.00pm 7.00pm 7.30pm 7.30pm

THURSDAY Fencing Training 11.30am Intermediate & advanced coaching.

Balloon Club Meeting 12.30pm Southside Upper Lounge.

YHA Meeting 12.30pm Southside Upper Lounge.

Postgrad Lunch 12.30pm Chaplains Office (10 Princes Gardens). See West London Chaplaincy.

IC Pro-Life Meeting 12.30pm Green Committee Room, Union Building.

17

a c t u a l l y i n v e n t e d c o n c e n t r a t i o n camps— the current p e o p l e of J a p a n are d e e p l y a s h a m e d , s o r r y a n d e m b a r r a s s e d about their w a r h i s t o r y . T h e y a r e n o m o r e r e s p o n s i b l e for the atrocities of their i m p e r i a l i s t i c w a r of e x p a n s i o n than a r e the current G e r m a n p e o p l e for the events from 1939 to 1945.

M r B a i l e y , w h o like a l l p e o p l e of a s i m i l a r t w i s t e d m i n d (it is r e p o r t e d that he has s p o r t e d a ' H a n g N e l s o n M a n d e l a ' Tshirt) o b v i o u s l y doesn't k n o w his facts.

D u r i n g the P a c i f ic W a r i n J a p a n the p o l i c y of the w a r w a s d i c t a t e d b y a handful of fanatical militarists (names s u p p l i e d o n request, not that M r B a i l e y w o u l d r e c o g n i s e t h e m ) w h o r e v e r e d the E m p e r o r as a g o d (a little like M r B a i l e y a n d the w a r vets) a n d f i r m l y b e l i e v e d the m y t h i c a l d e s c e n s i o n of J a p a n a n d the E m p e r o r f r o m the s u n g o d A m a t a r s u , thus justifying the e x p a n s i v e p o l i c i e s of the post-Meiji r e s t o r a t i o n p e r i o d .

m e n a n d t h e i r fanatic m i n i o n s (of the G e r m a n T h i r d Reich) as a r e most. T h e A m e r i c a n s , w h o o c c u p i e d a n d rebuilt J a p a n ( d e s t r o y i n g a lot of t r a d i t i o n a l culture that far surpasses m u c h of the West), w e r e r e c e i v e d gratefully as t h e y r e m o v e d the leaders w h o h a d caused the w a r . H i r o h i t o ' s part i n this has never b e e n p r o v e n a n d is i n d e e d u n l i k e l y as he was k n o w n t o h o l d M a r i n e B i o l o g y a b o v e most things, a n d w a s p r o b a b l y not able to e x e r c i s e real p o w e r as he w a s a p u r e l y figurative m o n a r c h after t h e Meiji R e s t o r a t i o n of the 19th C e n t u r y a n d thus h e l d little o r n o actual p o w e r .

The population was deceived in a big w a y . T h i s is n o t a u n i q u e l y J a p a n e s e p h e n o m e n o n , h o w else c a n y o u e x p l a i n three c o n s e c u t i v e T o r y g o v e r n m e n t s . T h e effects of the w a r o n the J a p a n e s e p e o p l e w e r e h o r r e n d o u s . It is salient to r e m e m b e r that at the t i m e most of J a p a n w a s s t a r v i n g a n d there w a s a lot of o p p o s i t i o n to the endless w a r perpet uat ed b y the militarists a n d the Z a i b e t su (large conglomerate companies w h o were m a k i n g a fortune out of the war). A d d to this the a p p r o x i m a t e l y 2 0 0 , 0 0 0 v i c t i m s of the t w i n hells of H i r o s h i m a a n d N a g a s a k i a n d the b a l a n c e l o o k s different.

T h e refusal to let these things l i e d o w n (they s h o u l d n e v e r be forgotten but c a n be forgiven) is u n b e l i e v a b l y c o u n t e r p r o d u c t i v e for c l o s e r w o r l d cooperation—this o b v i o u s l y w o u l d not b o t h e r M r B a i l e y as he d o e s not live i n the r e a l w o r l d a n y w a y . T h e J a p a n e s e a r e no l o n g e r o u r e n e m i e s — t h ey are just m o r e successful i n r e b u i l d i n g their e c o n o m y (13th p l a c e i n t h e p e r c a p i t a i n c o m e s i n 1971, 1st o r 2 n d n o w ; t o p t e n largest w o r l d b a n k s are J a p a n e s e ; J a p a n is t h e biggest c r e d i t o r n a t i o n w i t h a huge budget surplus) a n d h a v e m e t i c u l o u s attention to d e t a i l . T h e y are p o s s i b l y the best e d u c a t ed n a t i o n i n the w o r l d (94% c o m p l e t e u p to H i g h S c h o o l level), most literate a n d h a v e great stability i n their c o u n t r y . T h e y are v e r y c u l t u r e d a n d are v e r y sensitive. T o m a k e m o d e r n J a p a n responsible for its past c r i m e s w o u l d b e l i k e i n d i c t i n g Q u e e n E l i z a b e t h for the Victorian Empire—ridiculous.

T h e Pacific w a r w a s d r i v e n b y a few

I h a v e a great respect a n d l o v e for the

Fencing Training 12.30pm Beginners Training.

Ski Club 12.45pm Southside Upper Lounge.

Fencing Training 1.30pm General.

Gliding Club Meeting l.OOpm Aero 266. Come and arrange a trial flight. A l l newcomers welcome.

Keep Fit 5.30pm Southside Gym Midweek Service 5.30pm Chaplains Office (10 Prince's Gardens). See West London Chaplaincy.

Social Ballroom 6.00pm JCR. Intermediate.

Judo 6.30pm Union Gym. Social Ballroom 7.00pm JCR. Beginners.

Latin American 8.00pm JCR. Gold medal class.

Southside Disco 8.30pm Southside Bar. ICCAG Soup Run 3.15pm Meet Weeks Hall Basement to take food to London's homeless.

18

ANNOUNCEMENTS • GUILDS Carnival tonight in the Union Building. We've saved the best until last.

• G E T Y O U R Gerhard Bergers from the C & G Motor Club at Guilds Carnival tonight.

• C O M E and see former Tory MP, Stefan Terlezki live on Tuesday 27 November at 1pm, Mech Eng 213.

• MOUNTAIN bikers interested in getting away at weekends contact Colin Toombs, Mech Eng II.

ACCOMMODATION • V E G NON-SMOKER wanted to share flat in Clapham Junction from beginning/mid December. Single room £41 p / w plus bills. Bus 40mins, walking 60mins. Tel: 071-228 0187.

PERSONAL • BIG DICK pops out, 'Must go now, things are beginning to stretch'.

J a p a n e s e p e o p l e , culture, h i s t o r y a n d language a n d to see a n i l l - i n f o r m e d , b a d l y w r i t t e n a n d o p e n l y racist letter from a n o b v i o u s l y i g n o r a n t bigot like M r B a i l e y m a k e s m e b o t h a n g r y a n d sad. Please, if possible, p u b l i s h m y letter i n full as I feel he c o u l d do w i t h the e d u c a t i o n .

If he wants a n y p r i v a t e tuition i n Japanese h i s t o r y , I w i l l m a k e sure it w i l l be a m e m o r a b l e e x p e r i e n c e . W i t h reference to t h e c o r o n a t i o n of E m p e r o r A k i h i t o , I c a n o n l y say that I w i s h I h a d b e e n there. In future M r B a i l e y s h o u l d l e a r n the truth before b e opens his b i g m o u t h a n d i n this w a y he w i l l ensure that the o n l y v i c i o u s attacks that c o m e his w a y are ones i n the f o r m of a letter.

Yours, Matthew Salter, Chem PG 1.

Congratulations To Chris and A n n Toumazou on the birth of their son Marcus.

From the residents of Holbein.

• DO Y O U like being spanked by a salty sea citizen? Enjoy the thwak of wet scales against your naked buttocks? Then Herring Spank Soc is for you. Sign up in the Physics commonroom.

LOST & FOUND • FOUND in JCR, Friday 16 during dance: keys, pencil case, diary. Supply description and cpntact Dance Club pigeonholes, Union Building.

• LOST: Large gold loop earrings of extreme sentimental value lost in Southside on Nov 14 (Beer Festival). If found please contact Michelle McLean, Chem Eng 2.

FOR SALE • HIGH RESOLUTION RGB Sony Trinitron monitor suit BBC, Amiga, ST, PC (BGA). £75 ono. Tel: 071-254 9023.

• A 10-SPEED tandem for sale £420 ono. Call ext 3688 or 071-225 6131.

Manager's Bit Space T h e final frontier m a y b e , but w h e r e the hell does it a l l go to. T h e issue this w e e k is far, far too s m a l l to i n c l u d e half the stuff 1 w a n t e d a n d n e e d e d to i n c l u d e . It didn't help w h e n m o r e a n d m o r e a d v e r t i s i n g f l o w e d out of the office corners, pushing like a merciless cuckoo.

A n d so, it g i v e s m e great pleasure to a p o l o g i s e to F B I Soc a n d others for not i n c l u d i n g a n A d for t h e m this w e e k (Contact F B I s o o n about t h e i r C V C o m p . ) .

N . B . T h e B i g F u n C h r i s t m a s o n e w i l l be hitting the streets o n the W e d n e s d a y before the e n d of t e r m . (Hint - Get y o u r arse i n gear N O W if y o u w a n t to c o n t r i b u t e a n y t h i n g t o w a r d s this one) RAG

w i t h s o m e fun at the o t h e r events. T h e c o n f r o n t a t i o n b e t w e e n Cardiff a n d IC R a g has still I a m sure p l e n t y of m i l e a g e left o n the r o a d to sort out t h e i r differences.

T h i s w e e k w e i n c l u d e a b r i e f n e w s article o n the p r o b l e m as first m e n t i o n e d i n the M a n a g e r ' s B i t last w e e k . N e x t w e e k w e w i l l be f o l l o w i n g up the issue w i t h a m o r e d e t a i l e d l o o k at the letters w e h a v e r e c e i v e d from b o t h of the Rags concerned.

Letters

W e l l it's b e e n a s t u n n i n g R A G W e e k hasn't it. It is r a t h er a s h a m e because, apart from the o b v i o u s p o i n t of m a k i n g s o m e m o n e y for a g o o d cause, a lot of y o u h a v e m i s s e d out o n a p o t e n t i a l l y goooood! time. The mainstays have saved the d a y at least w i t h a r e a s o n a b l e t u r n o v e r at the B e e r F e s t i v a l , H y p n o s i s , a n d the C + G S l a v e A u c t i o n . It o n l y r e m a i n s to be s e e n if the G u i l d s C a r n i v a l a n d the D i r t y D i s c o d o w e l l , together

It w a s a n n o u n c e d t o d a y that after a r o u n d t h r e e y e a r s R e g g i e B l e n n e r h a s s e t , the I C U F i n a n c e Officer, is l e a v i n g us to go o n to o t h e r things. It has a l w a y s b e e n a pleasure w o r k i n g w i t h h i m a n d it m a r k s a sad loss to the U n i o n . I trust that his n e w a p p o i n t m e n t t h o u g h w i l l a l l o w h i m to use his talents to their full extent. H e has w o r k e d h a r d a l o n g s i d e m a n y others d u r i n g his t i m e h e r e a n d it w i l l be interesting to see w h o the b o y s upstairs

S c r i b b l e r s ' C o r n e r seems to t a k i n g off better a n d better e a c h w e e k . Its p o p u l a r i t y has p r o d u c e d so m a n y letters this w e e k that w e h a v e e n o u g h m a t e r i a l a l r e a d y for n e x t w e e k s s e c t i o n .

Finally a Goodbye

w i l l find to r e p l a c e h i m .

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ™ ~

Credits: R o s e a n d A n d y : for T y p e s e t t i n g and P r i n t i n g News E d i t o r : T o b y J o n e s Reviews E d i t o r : A d a m T Music Editor: Sarah Features E d i t o r : R o l a n d Science E d i t o r : Ian Cartoonist: A n d y B u t c h e r Photo E d i t o r : R i c h a r d P h o t o g r a p h y by: J e r e m y , J a m e s , L u k e L e i g h t o n , R i c h a r d , a n d o n e other.

The Team: A d a m H , Chris Riley, Michael N e w m a n , o t h e r s a n d the letter C .

T h e C o l l a t o r s : F B I (I hope), A s i a n S o c i e t y , a n d the rest.

Staff M e e t i n g T o d a y f r o m 12.30pm to 2.30pm; t r y i n g to w o r k a r o u n d C o l l a t i n g M a c h i n e Reps as we go.

Title - C h r i s t m a s Issue s o o n . . . O h Shit!

Felix is produced for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publications Board and is printed by the Imperial College Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (Tel 071-225 8672). Manager: Chris Stapleton, Business Manager: Jeremy Burnell. Copyright Felix 1990.

ISSN 1040-0711.

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Southside B a r A few c o m p l a i n t s h a v e b e e n raised b y b o t h l o c a l residents a n d C o l l e g e p e r s o n n e l r a g a r d i n g noise levels at c l o s i n g time.

L i c e n s i n g a u t h o r i t i e s t e n d to v i e w a l l C o l l e g e bars, i n c l u d i n g U n i o n , H o l l a n d C l u b a n d H a l l bars, u n d e r the s a m e u m b r e l l a . T h i s m e a n s that if one loses its license—or m o r e l i k e l y , t h e frequency of its bar e x t e n s i o n s — t h e n a l l other bars m a y suffer the s a m e fate.

Please try t o k e e p the p e a c e at k i c k i n g out t i m e .

College Day

T h e s e c o n d m e e t i n g of the W o r k i n g P a r t y has met. T h e c u r r e n t p r o p o s a l o n the table is: M O N D A Y A N D FRIDAY Start: 9 a m L u n c h : 12 n o o n - l p m or l p m - 2 p m ( v a r y i n g across the College) Finish: 6pm TUESDAY AND THURSDAY Start: 9 a m L u n c h : 12 n o o n - l p m or l p m - 2 p m ( v a r y i n g across the College) Finish: 6pm

Hon Sec Ra g F o r reasons u n b e k n o w n to most, it has b e e n a v e r y quiet R a g W e e k . T h a n k s to e v e r y o n e that has t u r n e d up, y o u r d o n a t i o n s w i l l be g o i n g to n e e d y causes.

T h a n k s also to all the p e o p l e w h o h a v e m a d e the e v e n ts r u n so s m o o t h l y .

D i s c u s s i o n w i l l f o l l o w the w e e k a n d c h a n g e s m a d e for n e x t y e a r .

D o t u r n up for the r e m a i n i n g events n a m e l y the G u i l d s C a r n i v a l t o n i g h t , the Bar Games t o m o r r o w evening, Tug-o-War on S u n d a y a n d the e v e r - p o p u l a r M i n e s ' D i r t y Disco o n M o n d a y night.

Events S o m e of y o u m a y h a v e b e e n miffed or w i l l be a little displeased about not b e i n g a l l o w e d to use the bar after n o r m a l hours w i t h o u t p a y i n g to enter the gig...tough.

T h e ' S p e c i a l O r d e r of E x e m p t i o n ' has b e e n g r a n t e d for a reason a n d not for groups of m a t e s to go out o n a b e n d e r until 2am in the morning. F r o m n o w on the U n i o n B a r w i l l close at 11pm after w h i c h t i m e t h e S n a c k B a r side bar w i l l r e m a i n o p e n until c l o s u r e .

In the past w e h a v e got a n n o y e d w i t h p e o p l e g a i n i n g e n t r y to a gig w i t h o u t p a y i n g b y w a y of h a v i n g a s m u d g e o n the b a c k of t h e i r h a n d . T o o v e r c o m e this we have invested in a complete Ultra V i o l e t ('Black Light') e n t r y s y s t e m , w h i c h is almost infallable if it a l l w o r k s to p l a n .

T h e kit is a v a i l a b l e for hire u s i n g y o u r o w n stamp. T h e first real test of these n e w measures w i l l be at tonight's C a r n i v a l , so be w a r n e d .

O n W e d n e s d a y nights as part of the L i b i d o Ents d i s c o ( w h i c h is free), the b a r w i l l be o p e n until m i d n i g h t but as part of the e v e n i n g t h e r e w i l l be c h e a p beer p r o m o t i o n s , e g C a s t l e m a i n e X X X X for 50p a»pint.

W e h a v e also p l a n n e d e v e n t s for the bar. T h e r e is a n o t h e r B a r Q u i z o n D e c e m b e r 6 a n d o n T u e s d a y 11 there w i l l be e n t e r t a i n m e n t s u p p l i e d b y a singer m u c h in the v e i n of a p u b entertainer.

M a n y p e o p l e h a v e c o m p l a i n e d about publicity being taken d o w n , bans placed,

etc. Most of these w e r e petty, i l l - i n f o r m e d c o m p l a i n t s a n d t h e y w e r e not w o r t h r e p l y i n g to. C l u b s a n d societies s h o u l d h a v e r e c e i v e d a list of p u b l i c i t y rules from m e v i a their M S C . If y o u c h o o s e to i g n o r e t h e m , no matter w h o y o u are, y o u w i l l get stuffed.

C o l l e g e are t r y i n g to t i d y the p l a c e up a little, it's a bit l i k e the F o r t h B r i d g e , but I agree w i t h their cause. Bits of blu-tac all o v e r the w a l k w a y is pretty u n s i g h t l y a n d Estates h a v e v e r y k i n d l y a r r a n g e d for about 20 w h i t e not i ce b o a r d s to be put up a l o n g the w a l k w a y . T h e s e a n d not the w a l k w a y b r i c k w o r k must be used. Posters affixed to the b r i c k w o r k w i l l be r e m o v e d a n d the p e r p e t r a t o r s c h a r g e d the cost of c l e a n i n g up. T h i s w i l l also h a p p e n for the Beit Q u a d w a l l s .

T h e m o n e y c h a r g e d for p u b l i c i t y fines w i l l be g o i n g to H e l p a L o n d o n C h i l d w h i c h was d e c i d e d b y S a r a h H a r l a n d , I C U P u b l i c i t y Officer, a n d m y s e l f .

Rooms If p e o p l e w a n t to b o o k a l a r g e r o o m this side of C h r i s t m a s . . . . t o u g h . T h e d i a r y is c o m p l e t e l y full so don't e v e n b o t h e r to c o m e a n d ask m e .

Clubs a n d societies r e q u i r i n g r e g u l a r r o o m s for n e x t t e r m are u r g e d to put i n an a p p l i c a t i o n for n o w as the 1991 d i a r y is filling up. Y o u w o n ' t be g u a r a n t e e d to get a r o o m but at least y o u w i l l h a v e a chance.

Elections W e w i l l h a v e to w a i t until 5 . 3 0 p m t o d a y to see if w e h a v e a n e l e c t i o n for F E L I X E d i t o r . If w e do the e l e c t i o n w i l l be crossc a m p u s plus the other sites o n D e c e m b e r 3 a n d 4. T h e Hustings w i l l be o n W e d n e s d a y N o v e m b e r 28 i n the U n i o n Lounge.

F u l l details of the Single T r a n s f e r a b l e V o t e s y s t e m of v o t i n g a n d o t h e r details w i l l be i n n e x t w e e k ' s F E L I X .

A t the s a m e t i m e as the F E L I X E d i t o r a ballot w i l l be h e l d as to y o u r v i e w s about the C o l l e g e d a y changes, see Paul's bit.

See y o u t o n i g h t .

Murray Williamson.

WEDNESDAY Start: 9 a m F i n i s h : 12 n o o n On Tuesdays and Thursdays, teaching in the afternoon m a y r e s u m e at either 2 p m or 3 p m . B y r e s u m i n g at 2 p m an e x t r a two hours w o u l d be a d d e d o n t o the C o l l e g e w e e k , but s o m e students m a y miss the h u m a n i t i e s p r o g r a m m e .

R e s u m i n g at 3 p m gives less flexibility but ensures that those w h o w i s h to participate i n h u m a n i t i es c a n do so.

T h e a d v a n t a g e s of starting o n the h o u r are to p r o v i d e c o n s i s t e n c y w i t h other L o n d o n c o l l e g e s, a n d to h o o k up w i t h ' L i v e n e t ' w h i c h starts p r o g r a m m i n g o n the hour.

In o r d e r to get a sizable r e s p o n s e f r o m e v e r y o n e , t h e r e w i l l be a r e f e r e n d u m o n this issue. D e s i g n e d to tie i n w i t h elections for F E L I X Editor, it w i l l be h e l d on the 3rd a n d 4 t h D e c e m b e r . Ballot b o x e s w i l l a p p e a r in e a c h d e p a r t m e n t (except St M a r y ' s — w h o aren't affected).

Just s h o w y o u r U n i o n c a r d a n d v o t e either for or against the p r o p o s a l s .

T h e feedback from the r e f e r e n d u m w i l l go to the n e x t m e e t i n g of the W o r k i n g P a r t y o n D e c e m b e r 6th.

P a u l Shanley.

International Aids Day D e c e m b e r 1 w i l l be I n t e r n a t i o n a l A i d s d a y . T h e a i m of the d a y is to p r o m o t e awareness a n d provide information on A i d s . T h e c a m p a i g n w i l l focus o n h e t e r o s e x u a l t r a n s m i s s i o n as this accounts for the m a j o r i t y of cases w o r l d w i d e .

T h e U n i o n w i l l be p a r t i c i p a t i n g b y circulating information a n d generally p r o m o t i n g the d a y o n F r i d a y N o v e m b e r 30.

A n y v o l u n t e e r s w h o w i s h to get i n v o l v e d please contact m y s e l f or Paul Shanley.

Helen Blacker, Union Welfare Officer.

College Christmas Dinner Tuesday 11th D e c e m b e r 1990 Cost to students £13 inclusive of wines MENU Cream of Sorrel Soup Roll and Butter Salmon Jubilee Roast Duck—Bigarade Sauce Roast & New Potatoes Broccoli Spears Vichy Carrots • • • Tarte Montmartre *•* Coffee & Cream For tickets please see Pat in the Union Office

The closing date is December 6th