http://www.felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1991/1991_0888_A

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r

Issue Number 888 Friday 11th January 1990

O a-

a.

College Announces Evacuation Plans p2 Ex-PM Opens Centre p2

w Biology

While We Stand By —Amnesty report on Iraq p l O , l l

|£ Maggie O p e n s Centre O n W e d n e s d a y , M r s T h a t c h e r o p e n e d the n e w C e n t r e for P o p u l a t i o n B i o l o g y at S i l w o o d P a r k . A l t h o u g h this was her first official e n g a g e m e n t since h e r r e s i g nat i o n, she w a s i n a r u m b u s t i o u s m o o d , s a y i n g : 'they w a n t y o u to be in the p h o t o g r a p h , c o m e a l o n g E r i c ' to Sir E r i c A s h , the Rector. H e r first attempt to r e v e a l the

plaque failed; she said 'it's quite g u e s s w o r k as to w h e t h e r y o u pull the short one or the l o n g one,' r e f e r r i n g to the c u r t a i n p u l l - c h o r d s .

T h e visit of M r s T h a t c h e r to S i l w o o d was a h i g h s e c u r i t y o p e r a t i o n — e v e n F E L I X w e r e n o t a l l o w e d to be present— a n d her i d e n t i t y was kept a close secret

i l l

•

i n v i e w of possible terrorist a c t i o n . S T O I C (Student T e l e v i s i o n of I m p e r i a l College) w e r e the o n l y c a m e r a c r e w a l l o w e d i n the b u i l d i n g to p e r f o r m a live r e l a y to a n o t h e r part of the b u i l d i n g — e x c l u s i v e footage this l u n c h t i m e at 1.00pm.

T h e n e w centre, funded b y the N a t i o n a l E n v i r o n m e n t R e s e a r c h C o u n c i l , was c o n s t r u c t e d at t h e cost of £2 m i l l i o n . T h e p r i m e feature of the centre is the E c o t r o n , a series of c h a m b e r s in w h i c h p o p u l a t i o n s of insects a n d p l a n t s are h o u s e d , f o r m i n g s m a l l a n d t o t a l l y isolated ecosystems. T h i s enables the gap b e t w e e n the r e a l w o r l d a n d c o m p u t e r m o d e l s to be b r i d g e d , b y r e d u c i n g t h e v a r i e t y of animal-plant interactions to a m o r e manageable level.

T h e s e c h a m b e r s c a n also be used to e x a m i n e the effect of e n v i r o n m e n t a l c h a n g e s s i n c e a l l factors, s u c h as t e m p e r a t u r e a n d daylight h o u r s are u n d e r the c o n t r o l of t h e e x p e r i m e n t e r rather t h a n nature. T h e s i m u l a t i o n of e n v i r o n m e n t a l c h a n g e o n a s m a l l scale s h o u l d g i v e rise to n e w insights into the c o m p l e x i n t e r a c t i o n s b e t w e e n plants a n d animals.

T h e scientists at the c e n t r e hope to d e v e l o p a m o r e p r e d i c t i v e science of p o p u l a t i o n b i o l o g y , w i t h the u l t i m a t e a i m of a p p l y i n g s u c h k n o w l e d g e to the m a n a g e m e n t of the e n v i r o n m e n t . Spinoffs include results for scientists interested in c l o s e d - e n v i r o n m e n t life s uppo r t systems w h i c h h a v e a p p l i c a t i o n s i n space a n d u n d e r w a t e r t echnol ogi es. T h i s is because the E c o t r o n operates w i t h r e c i r c u l a t e d a n d filtered a i r flow, r e t u r n i n g up to 9 8 % of the air to the chambers on each cycle.

Evacuation By-Law Plans Change

Union Lift Stays Down

C o l l e g e h a v e a n n o u n c e d an updat e to c o n t i n g e n c y plans to d e a l w i t h the e v a c u a t i o n of the College site. If the w h o l e college is to be c l e a r e d , a s i r e n w i l l s o u n d f r o m the top of the Q u e e n ' s T o w e r . S i m u l t a n e o u s l y fire a l a r m s w i l l s o u n d in a l l d e p a r t m e n t s .

U n d e r the d i r e c t i o n of e m e r g e n c y services, students a n d staff a r e a s k e d to m o v e Eastwards towards Prince's G a r d e n s , a s s e m b l i n g outside the H e a l t h Centre.

A l l exits onto Queensgate w i l l either be m a n n e d or w i l l be l o c k e d a n d it w i l l not be possible to r e m o v e cars f r o m the ) Sherfield car park.

T h e U n i o n b u i l d i n g lift w i l l b e out of service until late M a r c h . T h e lift, w h i c h is situated in the building's foyer, is used b y b o t h D r a m S o c a n d S T O I C for m o v i n g h e a v y e q u i p m e n t a n d has b e e n out of o r d e r since e a r l y last t e r m w h e n a c o m p o n e n t u n e x p e c t e d l y sheared.

T h e delay is due to the t i m e t a k e n stress-testing the r e m a i n i n g parts a n d r e p l a c i n g a n y d e e m e d unsafe. B e n j a m i n T u r n e r , D e p u t y President, said that the lift s h o u l d be s e r v i c e d o n c e e v e r y y e a r but a d d e d that he had 'no idea w h e n it was last s e r v i c e d ' . H e has apologised on behalf of the U n i o n to the clubs concerned.

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No m o r e U n i o n cards w i l l b e issued to r e s e a r c h assistants until the B y - L a w s are c h a n g e d , P a u l S h a n l e y , U n i o n President, has a n n o u n c e d .

A l t h o u g h s o m e cards h a v e b e e n released, the B y - L a w s do n o t c u r r e n t l y a l l o w the issue of cards to r e s e a r c h assistants. A m o t i o n w i l l be put at the next U n i o n G e n e r a l M e e t i n g (UGM) to change the situation.

T o be a p p r o v e d , the m o t i o n must pass t w o U G M s a n d must be a p p r o v e d b y the G o v e r n i n g B o d y . T h e first U G M w i l l be on T h u r s d a y 17th J a n u a r y .

Computer Hacking Crackdown C o m p u t e r h a c k i n g is n o w a c r i m i n a l offence a n d w i l l be t r e a t e d as s u c h b y College. T h e C o m p u t e r M i s u s e A c t 1990 necessitates u n i v e r s i t i e s to take a serious v i e w o n h a c k i n g a n d the i n t r o d u c t i o n of viruses.

In a letter t o F e l i x , P e t e r M e e , C o l l e g e Registrar, states that a l t h o u g h it m a y be possible to d e a l w i t h c o m p u t e r misuse w i t h i n college t h r o u g h i n t e r n a l d i s c i p l i n a r y measures, this m a y not a l w a y s be possible.

A t the D e c e m b e r m e e t i n g of the B o a r d

Police Calls Restricted

of Studies the f o l l o w i n g a d d i t i o n to the R e g u l a t i o n s for Students w a s passed: ' C o m p u t e r misuse w i l l be r e g a r d e d as a serious offence a n d w i l l be dealt w i t h u n d e r the C o l l e g e D i s c i p l i n a r y P r o c e d u r e or, w h e r e a p p r o p r i a t e , u n d e r the p r o v i s i o n s of the C o m p u t e r Misuse A c t 1990' U n d e r the A c t h a c k i n g a n d the i n t r o d u c t i o n of viruses into c o m p u t e r systems a n d n e t w o r k s are c r i m i n a l offences. T h e A c t identifies three specific offenses: u n a u t h o r i s e d access to a

c o m p u t e r s y s t e m , u n a u t h o r i s e d access to a c o m p u t e r s y s t e m w i t h intent to c o m m i t or facilitate t h e c o m m i s s i o n of a serious c r i m e a n d u n a u t h o r i s e d m o d i f i c a t i o n of computer material.

M r M e e also said that r e m e d y i n g the d a m a g e c a u s e d b y c o m p u t e r misuse i n v o l v e s a great deal of w o r k a n d is a gross misuse of College resources.

T h e A c t a n d the n e w r e g u l a t i o n are a l r e a d y in effect.

Union Break-in President. W h e n staff gave chase, one m a n r a n into T h e R o y a l S c h o o l of M i n e s a n d was lost. T h e other r a n t o w a r d s Kensington, chased by T o m Cunnington, Nick Marley and Benjamin Turner, Union D e p u t y President.

M r T u r n e r caught the m a n outside B a r k e r s in K e n s i n g t o n H i g h Street after stopping h i m f r o m getting o n a bus.

A l l of the s t o l e n items e x c e p t for £30 cash have b e e n r e c o v e r e d . P o l i c e are n o w q u e s t i o n i n g a m a n w h o has p l e a d e d not guilty.

In a n y i n c i d e n t not i n v o l v i n g d a n g e r to life or p r o p e r t y , security must n o w g a i n p e r m i s s i o n to c a l l the P o l i c e . O n l y M s V a l e r i e Straw, F a c i l i t i e s M a n a g e r , or G o r d o n M a r s h a l l , D i r e c t o r of Estates, m a y give s u c h p e r m i s s i o n .

Ms S t r a w stressed that this w i l l o n l y a p p l y to n o n - e m e r g e n c y i n c i d e n t s , stating that the c h a n g e of p o l i c y w a s to a v o i d c a l l i n g the P o l i c e u n n e c e s s a r i l y .

T h i e v e s b r o k e i n t o the U n i o n Office o v e r C h r i s t m a s but w e r e foiled w h i l s t t r y i n g to b r e a k into the t r o p h y c u p b o a r d .

O n the 20th D e c e m b e r , w h i l s t U n i o n staff w e r e i n a m e e t i n g i n t h e S n a c k B a r , t w o m e n stole m o n e y , c r e d i t cards a n d c h e q u e b o o k s . W h i l s t t r y i n g to o p e n a cabinet u n d e r n e a t h the t r o p h y c u p b o a r d , h o w e v e r , they, set off a n a l a r m . T h e cabinet, t i d i e d the day before, was e m p t y .

W h e n staff a r r i v e d o n the scene, the m e n escaped t h r o u g h the s t a i r w e l l entrance, i n j u r i n g P a u l S h a n l e y , U n i o n

Iraqis Stay

Lost & Found

Power Loss

N o n e of Imperial's Iraqi students w e r e i n v o l v e d in last w e e k ' s e x p u l s i o n s . O v e r 80 Iraqi n a t i o n a l s w e r e e x p e l l e d f r o m B r i t a i n but M r M c C l u r e , the D e p u t y Registrar, said ' W e have not b e e n a d v i s e d w h e t h e r a n y of our students have b e e n affected.' T h e r e are a p r o x i m a t e l y 15 Iraqi students s t u d y i n g here.

A n h o n o u r s b o a r d , stolen f r o m the U n i o n D i n i n g H a l l t w o years ago, has resurfaced at a N a t i o n a l R a g C o n f e r e n c e , w h e r e it was a u c t i o n e d off.

Its r e t u r n to the U n i o n has n o w been s e c u r e d b y U n i o n President P a u l S h a n l e y after negotiations w i t h t h r e e other student u n i o n s . It w i l l be r e t u r n e d o n 21st January.

L i n s t e a d hall was w i t h o u t p o w e r last S a t u r d a y d u e to m a i n t e n a n c e w o r k . T h i s i n v o l v e d the r e p l a c e m e n t of the m a i n t r a n s f o r m e r as the h a l l h a d b e e n r u n n i n g off a t e m p o r a r y supply.

Finance A t e m p o r a r y a p p o i n t m e n t has b e e n m a d e for the post of U n i o n F i n a n c e M a n a g e r .

R i c h a r d G o d d e n w i l l be w o r k i n g part t i m e in the U n i o n office for three a n d a half m o n t h s whilst t h e post is a d v e r t i s e d .

T h e post of B o o k s t o r e M a n a g e r w i l l be a d v e r t i s e d s o o n . N e i l M c C l u s k e y , the c u r r e n t m a n a g e r , w i l l be l e a v i n g i n A p r i l w h e n his c o n t r a c t expires.

Lucky Dip! Last D e c e m b e r £5000 of p l a t i n u m crucibles were stolen from the R o y a l S c h o o l of M i n e s (RSM). This f o l l o w e d an e a r l i e r i n c i d e n t w h e n £25000 w o r t h of c r u c i b l e s w e r e s t o l e n. This t i m e , h o w e v e r , the c r u c i b l e s w e r e r e c o v e r e d w h e n they w e r e found, w r a p p e d u p , i n t h e R S M C h r i s t m a s l u c k y dip.

Cultural Link I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e has signed a r e c i p r o c a l a g r e e m e n t w i t h the M i d d l e East T e c h n i c a l U n i v e r s i t y e n a b l i n g the e x c h a n g e of students for e x t r a - c u r r i c u l a r activities s u c h as sport a n d c u l t u r a l affairs.

Plea!

Yesterday Benjamin Turner, Deputy President, s a i d 'I must put a message i n F E L I X a s k i n g the S c i e n c e F i c t i o n S o c i e t y to r e t u r n the v i d e o . ' H i s request was flatly rejected b y o u t r a g e d staff.

3

Ultan McCarthy form.

FELIX

explains the history of an ancient art and its modern

Judo—The Gentl

T h e late 19th C e n t u r y w a s a p e r i o d of great u p h e a v a l i n J a p a n . T h e o l d o r d e r , e x e m p l i f i e d b y the S a m u r a i a n d B u s h i , stood i n the w a y of J a p a n ' s progress a n d i ndus t r i a l i s a t i o n. G o v e r n m e n t restrictions r e d u c e d the p o w e r of the S a m u r a i , a n d a n edict b a n n i n g t h e m f r o m w e a r i n g s w o r d s p r o v e d too m u c h for m a n y of t h e m . W h i l e s o m e j o i n e d the p o l i c e (where t h e y c o u l d c o n t i n u e to w e a r swords) a n d o t h e r s s a d l y h u n g u p t h e i r b e l o v e d k a t a n a s , m a n y refused to s u b m i t to this c h a l l e n g e to t h e i r a u t h o r i t y a n d e n t i r e w a y of life. T h e y b e g a n to plot against the G o v e r n m e n t . T h e r e followed a bloody civil war between Government troops a n d a r m i e s of S a m u r a i , i n w h i c h the S a m u r a i w e r e u t t e r l y defeated; s w o r d s a n d a r r o w s p r o v e d n o m a t c h for bullets a n d g r a p e shot. J a p a n ' s r u s h towards economic and political reform c o n t i n u e d faster t h a n e v e r . T h e c i v i l w a r h a d c r e a t e d a lot of i l l f e e l i n g t o w a r d s 'the o l d w a y s ' , a n d m a n y p e o p l e g a v e u p t h e i r t r a d i t i o n a l w a y of life.

W a t c h i n g events u n f o l d w a s a y o u n g professor, J i g o r o K a n o (1860-1938).

Although a rather weak m a n physically, he h a d studied s e v e r a l m a r t i a l arts, i n c l u d i n g a v e r s i o n of ju-jitsu. T h e o r i g i n s of ju-jitsu are u n k n o w n , lost i n the mists of t i m e . It is m a n y c e n t u r i e s o l d , a n d w a s the most b r u t a l , v i o l e n t a n d l e t h a l f o r m of u n a r m e d c o m b a t i n the w o r l d . Ju-jitsu w a s o n e of t h e first things to be b a n n e d , a n d it was s o m e years b e f o r e a r e v i s e d , less m u r d e r o u s v e r s i o n w a s r e i n t r o d u c e d .

O n e of K a n o ' s chief c o n c e r n s w a s the t e a c h i n g of p h y s i c a l e d u c a t i o n i n J a p a n e s e s c h o o l s , w h i c h he c o n s i d e r e d to be greatly i n f e r i o r to that t aug h t i n the W e s t e r n w o r l d . H e w a n t e d to i n t r o d u c e s o m e t h i n g t r a d i t i o n a l but acceptable, a n d i n 1882 he i n v e n t e d K o d a k a n J u d o .

T h e n e w ' c o m b a t sport' of judo i n c l u d e d m a n y techniques f r o m v a r i o u s forms of ju-jitsu; t e c h n i q u e s a n d skills w h i c h K a n o feared might otherwise have b e e n lost f o r e v e r. T o u n d e r s t a n d w h a t judo r e a l l y is w e must l o o k c a r e f u l ly at the n a m e .

Ju-do is m a d e f r o m t w o J a p a n e s e w o r d s . ' D o ' m e a n s w a y or p a t h , s u c h as i n A i k i d o — t h e w a y of A i k i — o r k e n d o — the w a y of t h e s w o r d (Japanese t w o h a n d e d fencing). ' J u ' is m o r e of a philosophical term than a physical q u a n t i t y . It is a w o r d t a k e n f r o m Taoist p h i l o s o p h y , a n d is the o p p o s i t e of ' k e n ' .

K e n means hard, extreme, unreasonable, offensive, w h i l e ju m e a n s soft, gentle, passive, defensive. M a r t i a l arts c a n a p p r o x i m a t e l y b e classified as ' k e n ' styles or 'ju' styles. K e n styles i n c l u d e k a r a t e , k e n d o , bo-jitsu a n d some f o r m s of k u n g fu, w h e r e the object is to o v e r p o w e r y o u r o p p o n e n t t h r o u g h speed a n d s t r e n g t h . J u styles i n c l u d e t a e k w o n d o , ju-jitsu, s o m e styles of nin-jitsu a n d j u d o , w h e r e the

or s i d e w a y s .

4) G a k e - w a z a ( h o o k i n g techniques). In the s w e e p i n g t e c h n i q u e s tori's l e g is straight, w h e r e a s in h o o k i n g t e c h n i q u e s it is bent i n o r d e r to h o o k u k e ' s leg. T h i s p r o v i d e s m o r e p o w e r , at the e x p e n s e of m a n o e v e r a b i l i t y . G a k e t h r o w s are u s e d i n a s i m i l a r w a y to g a r i ones, w h e n u k e is stationary.

5. S u t e m i - w a z a (sacrifice techniques).

T h e s e are often affectionately d e s c r i b e d as suicide t h r o w s . T o r i falls o n t o his b a c k i n o r d e r to p u l l u k e off b a l a n c e a n d t h r o w h i m . If u k e is v e r y q u i c k he m i g h t escape f r o m t h e t h r o w a n d trap the prostrate t o r i o n the g r o u n d , o t h e r w i s e there is v i r t u a l l y n o t h i n g he c a n do.

i i i i i i n i t i A powerful

throw by Peter Swettenham,

object is to e x p l o i t y o u r o p p e n e n t ' s w e a k n e s s e s . J u does not m e a n w e a k — n o j u d o t h r o w c a n b e d e s c r i b e d as w e a k .

R a t h e r , it calls for e c o n o m i c a l , efficient actions a n d m o v e m e n t . T h e w e a k n e s s w e l o o k for in judo is b a l a n c e . If y o u r o p p o n e n t is e v e n s l i g h t l y off b a l a n c e , pressure i n the c o r r e c t d i r e c t i o n w i l l t h r o w h i m to t h e g r o u n d w i t h h a r d l y a n y effort o n y o u r a c c o u n t .

B a s i c a l l y , j u d o is a style of w r e s t l i n g .

S o m e w r e s t l i n g styles, l i k e G r e c o R o m a n , are ' n a k e d ' styles: o n l y a l l o w i n g grips a n d holds o n the b o d y . T h e r e are belt styles l i k e G l i m a a n d S u m o , w h e r e grips are m a d e p r i m a r i l y o n the belt; a n d there are fully c l o t h e d styles s u c h as S a m b o a n d J u d o , w h i c h offer the greatest r a n g e of grips. T h e object in J u d o is t o t h r o w y o u r o p p o n e n t o n t o his b a c k , or t o i m m o b i l i s e h i m b y h o l d i n g h i m o n the g r o u n d , or to gain a s u b m i s s i o n .

W e w i l l l o o k at t h r o w s first. W h e n K a n o first started t e a c h i n g judo at the K o d o k a n i n T o k y o he t aug h t forty t h r o w s , n o w k n o w n c o l l e c t i v e l y as the G o k y o . T h e s e w e r e m o s t l y ju-jitsu t h r o w s , s o m e carefully a l t e r e d to suit the ideals of judo, a n d a few w e r e b r a n d n e w t h r o w s i n v e n t e d b y K a n o . In the y e a r s since t h e n s o m e of these t h r o w s h a v e c h a n g e d s l i g h t l y, a n d a f e w n e w t h r o w s h a v e b e e n invented. One such throw, yama-arashi, w a s i n v e n t e d b y a student of K a n o . H e b e c a m e so d e v a s t a t i n g l y effective w i t h it that it was b a n n e d for s e v e r a l y e a r s until s o m e b o d y d e v i s e d a m a n o e u v r e to c o u n t e r it.

S o m e of the t h r o w s in t h e G o k y o are e x t r e m e l y p o p u l a r a n d w i d e l y use, others

scoring

6. G u r u m a - w a z a (wheel techniques).

M o s t g u r u m a - w a z a are leg t e c h n i q u e s ; s i m i l a r to g a r i - w a z a e x c e p t that tori's leg is stationary, p r o v i d e d a p i v o t o v e r w h i c h he ' w h e e l s ' u k e . T h e r e are others, s u c h as k a t a - g u r u m a (shoulder w h e e l ) . In k a t a g u r u m a tori lifts u k e right i n t o the air, o v e r his s h o u l d e r s , a n d t h r o w s h i m o n the other side.

ippon.

are r a r e l y s e e n . P a r t i c u l a r t h r o w s suit different height or w e i g h t of people. A l l judo p l a y e r s (judoka) h a v e t o k u i - w a z a , favorite t e c h n i q u e s t h e y a r e p a r t i c u l a r l y g o o d at, but to be successful i n fight a n d competitions y o u should k n o w and p r a c t i c e as m a n y different t h r o w s as possible. A l l t h e t h r o w s d e p e n d o n the t h r o w e r (tori) g e t t i ng the d e f e n d e r (uke: literally 'the r e c e i v e r ' ) off b a l a n c e for the split s e c o n d n e c e s s a r y for a p r o p e r l y e x e c u t e d t h r o w to w o r k .

T h e r e are s i x m a i n g r o u p s of t h r o w s , a l t h o u g h a few t h r o w s do not fall u n d e r a n y p a r t i c u l a r category.

1. N a g e - w a z a ( t h r o w i n g techniques). In n a g e t e c h n i q u e s t o r i pulls u k e off b a l a n c e i n o r d e r to t h r o w h i m . U k e is u s u a l l y t h r o w n f o r w a r d s , o v e r tori's b o d y .

2. K o s h i - w a z a (hip techniques). A s i n nage-waza, t o r i has t u r n e d t o face the s a m e w a y as u k e . T o r i squats slightly so his hips are u n d e r uke's. T o r i t h e n stands up, lifting u k e off the g r o u n d . (This is s u r p r i s i n g l y easy. M y t w e l v e y e a r o l d b r o t h e r c a n lift m y 12 stones right off the ground.) W i t h u k e stuck a c o u p l e of feet up in the air, t o r i c a n e a s i l y t h r o w h i m o n t o his b a c k . A s w i t h n a g e - w a z a , u k e usually falls f o r w a r d s .

3. G a r i - w a z a ( s w e e p i n g techniques). U k e is v e r y unstable if he takes a step. Just as uke's foot t o u c h e s the mat, t o r i sweeps it i n the s a m e d i r e c t i o n . W e c a l l this ' e x t e n d i n g the s t e p' a n d it has the s a m e effect as if u k e h a d s l i p p e d o n ice. H e is s u d d e n l y c o m p l e t e l y off b a l a n c e . T o r i pushes u k e , at right angles to his d i r e c t i o n of m o t i o n . U k e falls b a c k w a r d s

If y o u m a n a g e to t h r o w y o u r o p p o n e n t y o u w i l l get a score of 3, 5, 7 or 10 points, d e p e n d i n g o n h o w u k e lands. A ten point score (called ippon) is a n a u t o m a t i c w i n , a n d the contest is e n d e d , a n y other s c o r e is r e c o r d e d b y the s c o r e k e e p e r a n d the fight c o n t i n u e s o n the g r o u n d .

In g r o u n d t e c h n i q u e s (ne-waza) y o u must h o l d u k e flat o n his b a c k , a n d y o u get a score of 3, 5, 7 or 10 points d e p e n d e n t o n h o w l o n g y o u h o l d h i m (for 15, 2 0 , 25 o r 30 seconds r e s p e c t i v e l y ) before he escapes or y o u w i n . T w o w a z a ari (7 point scores) are e q u i v a l e n t to a n i p p o n . T h i s dates f r o m e a r l y j u d o w h e n i p p o n a n d w a z a - a r i w e r e the o n l y scores g i v e n . L o w e r scores are o n l y i m p o r t a n t if b o t h c o m p e t i t o r s h a v e o n e or n o waza-ari.

A v e r y i m p o r t a n t part of g r o u n d w o r k is s h i m e - w a z a (strangle techniques) a n d k a n s e t s u - w a z a ( a r m l o c k techniques). T h e objective of these is s i m p l e : to hurt y o u r o p p o n e n t so he submits. T h e r a n g e of p e r m i t t e d t e c h n i q u e s is quite restricted, to a v o i d injury to u k e . W r i s t a n d s h o u l d e r l o c k s w e r e n e v e r a l l o w e d , a n d leg l o c k s w e r e e v e n t u a l l y b a n n e d b e c a u s e t h e y are t o o difficult to c o n t r o l safely. W h e n strangling someone you m a y apply pressure w i t h y o u r f o r e a r m s or the n e c k of their jacket, but y o u c a n n o t grab h o l d of the throat. T h e r e are t e n basic strangles a n d five basic a r m l o c k s . L o c k s a n d strangles m a y be a p p l i e d w h i l e s t a n d i n g , but these are difficult a n d extremely rare.

J u d o w a s a n instant hit i n J a p a n , a n d a r o u n d the t u r n of the c e n t u r y enthusiastic j u d o k a started to ' e x p o r t '

judo a r o u n d the w o r l d , g i v i n g d e m o n s t r a t i o n s a n d e x h i b i t i o n s , but it s p r e a d s l o w l y . T h e first j u d o s c h o o l i n Europe was the B u d o k w a i in Chelsea, w h i c h still t h r i v e s a n d attracts s e n i o r j u d o k a f r o m a l l o v e r B r i t a i n to t r a i n i n g sessions. Its f o u n d e r , G u n i K o i z u m i (1885-1965), is t y p i c a l of m a n y j u d o k a . A s a b o y he s t u d i e d ken-jutsu, b u t f o u n d it distasteful a n d s w i t c h e d to ju-jitsu. M u c h later he j o i n e d the K o d o k a n « n d fell i n l o v e w i t h judo. A f t e r settling i n E n g l a n d he o p e n e d t h e B u d o k w a i (then) R o y a l A c a d e m y , w h o e v e n t u a l l y set u p their o w n dojo. I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e J u d o C l u b is thus the s e c o n d oldest i n t h e c o u n t r y .

J u d o b e c a m e a n O l y m p i c sport w h e n J a p a n hosted the G a m e s i n 1964, a n d is n o w p r a c t i s e d b y m i l l i o n s of p e o p l e i n (probably) e v e r y c o u n t r y i n the w o r l d .

P e o p l e s o m e t i m e s w o n d e r w h y w e use so m u c h J a p a n e s e t e r m i n o l o g y i n judo.

T h i s is b y no m e a n s u n i q u e i n judo, most m a r t i a l arts use J a p a n e s e w o r d s ; but i n judo before y o u c a n get a belt y o u must d e m o n s t r a t e a n u n d e r s t a n d i n g of a few terms, a n d t h e r e are a b o u t a h u n d r e d words a good judoka should understand.

W e use a c o m m o n l a n g u a g e because judo is taught i n e x a c t l y the s a m e w a y a l l o v e r the w o r l d — t h e r e is o n l y o n e style: K o d o k a n j u d o . It m a k e s sense for a p a r t i c u l a r t e c h n i q u e to h a v e a u n i v e r s a l n a m e . S o m e n a m e s a c c u r a t e l y describe the t e c h n i q u e , s u c h as ippon-seoi-nage (one h a n d e d s h o u l d e r t h r o w ) or o k u r i - e r i j i me (sliding c o l l a r strangle); w h i l e other n a m e s l i k e y a m a - a r a s h i ( m o u n t a i n storm) or tani-otoshi (valley drop) are poetic rather t h a n p r a c t i c a l .

A n o t h e r u n u s u a l aspect of judo is its etiquette. T h i s chiefly c o m p r i s e s tachi-rei (standing bows) a n d za-rei ( k n e e l i n g bows). A j u d o k a s h o u l d g i v e a s t a n d i n g b o w o n e n t e r i n g a n d l e a v i n g the dojo or

Squaring

the t a t a m i (the m a t o n w h i c h all t r a i n i n g a n d c o m p e t i t i o n if p e r f o r m e d ) , a n d before a n d after a contest. T h e k n e e l i n g b o w f o r m a l l y o p e n s a n d closes a t r a i n i n g session. T h e r e are also specific w a y s y o u must w e a r y o u r j u d o g i (judo suit) a n d o b i (your belt). A j u d o k a must n e v e r q u e s t i o n the referee's decisions in a contest. I've n e v e r seen that h a p p e n , b u t I e x p e c t he w o u l d b e p e n a l i s e d or d i s q u a l i f i e d .

A point I s h o u l d stress is that judo is perfectly safe. T h e first t h i n g y o u l e a r n , before a n y t h r o w or h o l d , is u k e m i - w a z a , b r e a k f a l l t e c h n i q u e s . T h e s e a r e w a y s of dissipating the f o r c e of a t h r o w , m a i n l y i n the a r m s . T h e t a t a m i is c u s h i o n e d , w h i c h absorbs m u c h of the i m p a c t , a n d injury is e x t r e m e l y r a r e . T h e p e r m i t t e d strangles a n d a r m l o c k s cause t e m p o r a r y p a i n but no injury. T h e r e are n o a t e m i - w a z a (striking t e c h n i q u e s : p u n c h e s , k i c k s etc) whatsoever, although such techniques c o u l d easily be i n c o r p o r a t e d into judo to f o r m a p o w e r f u l m a r t i a l art.

I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e judo c l u b trains t w i c e a w e e k i n the U n i o n g y m (in Beit Quad).

2 n d d a n b l a c k belt Peter S w e t t e n h a m takes the class o n T u e s d a y , o n T h u r s d a y 1st d a n J o n L e a n . B o t h classes start at 6.30pm a n d a r e t w o h o u r s l o n g . If y o u t h i n k y o u are interested i n judo, c o m e a l o n g to a session i n loose clothes l i k e a t-shirt a n d track-suit b o t t o m s , or (of course) a j u d o suit if y o u h a v e o n e .

Please note, h o w e v e r , that a k a r a t e suit is not suitable for j u d o . T h e j u d o g i is r e i n f o r c e d to s u r v i v e the r o u g h h a n d l i n g it receives, a k a r a t e suit is light a n d w i l l rip.

F o r m o r e i n f o r m a t i o n a b o u t the c l u b , or about judo i n g e n e r a l , please see Peter ( M a n a g e m e n t MSc), J o n (Pet E n g 4), R e g C o o k ( M e c h E n g 2), or m y s e l f U l t a n M c C a r t h y (Physics 3).

up: a good grip is essential to control your

opponent.

Ik REVIEWS

Almost A n A n g e l O h dear. P a u l ' a m p h i b i o u s l i z a r d ' H o g a n plays a r o b b e r w i t h (surprise!) a heart of gold. H e gets hit b y a car w h i l e s a v i n g a chi l d's life. In hospital, he has a d r e a m i n w h i c h G o d gives h i m a s e c o n d c h a n c e as a ' p r o b a t i o n a r y angel', h e l p i n g the ne e dy .

So off he goes, w i t h a n e x t r e m e l y b a d hat, dressed l i k e a c h a r a c t e r f r o m T V ' s a b y s m a l ' H i g h w a y to H e a v e n ' , unsurprisingly enough.

T h i n g s go f r o m b a d to w o r s e . E v e r y one of the ' m o r a l ' points this film tries to put across is m a d e to be e i t h e r c r i n g i n g l y s e n t i m e n t a l o r e m b a r r a s s i n g l y 'streetwise', a n d in b o t h cases is restated a g a i n a n d again, just i n case w e w e r e thick e n o u g h not to figure it out the first t i m e. ' A l m o s t a n A n g e l ' is b e i n g m a r k e t e d as

a c o m e d y , but I'd l o v e to k n o w w h y .

W h a t few h u m o r o u s m o m e n t s exist are ruined by bad timing and direction, even if t h e y w e r e n ' t t r a g i c a l l y u n f u n n y i n the first place. T h e entire film relies o n H o g a n ' s earlier success as C r o c o d i l e D u n d e e - it c e r t a i n l y has little or no a p p e a l of its o w n .

T o be fair, the film does k e e p y o u guessing about H o g a n ' s a n g e l i c n e s s right to the v e r y e n d . But w h a t a n e n d : T h e morsels of suspense that m a k e it t h r o u g h the constant b a r r a g e of s a d a n d futile b i b l e - t h u m p i n g disintegrate in a c l o s i n g scene w h i c h is, quite f r a n k l y , b o l l o c k s .

So, to s u m up, ' A l m o s t a n A n g e l ' is a b a d f i l m. It s u c k s . H a r d .

M L E B u m p s It.

The Garden D e r e k J a r m a n is sitting at his desk, his consci ousnes s is fading, s o o n he is asleep a n d the c a m e r a is to drift into the m a n ' s s u b c o n s c i o u s n e s s . The Garden is J a r m a n ' s d r e a m s c o p e (so beware!). It is b o t h J a r m a n ' s n i g h t m a r e a n d J a r m a n ' s wet d r e a m .

The Garden is a r e i n t e r p r e t a t i o n of Christ's life. H e r e he is r e p r e s e n t e d b y t w o h o m o s e x u a l m e n w h o are arrested, persecuted, h u m i l i a t e d , t o r t u r e d t h e n m u r d e r e d b y b r u t a l p o l i c e m e n dressed i n Santa suits. T h e r e is also the d e p i c t i o n of the V i r g i n M a r y a n d c h i l d w h o is h o u n d e d b y a n d v i r t u a l l y ' r a p e d ' b y the v o y e u r i s m of t h r e e b a l a c l a v a d photographers kitted complete with p h a l l i c z o o m lenses.

T h e r e are h a r d l y a n y s p o k e n w o r d s in the film, but the images a r e so s t r i k i n g that w o r d s w o u l d be superfluous i n this

An Angel (?) incarnation..?

a

previous

film. J a r m a n f i l m e d i n S u p e r 8 o r i g i n a l l y a n d t h e n t r a n s f e r r e d the p r i n t to v i d e o .

(The p i c t u r e thus acquires the right ' e x p e r i m e n t a l ' q u a l i t y w h i c h is essential for the w o r k of a n y r a d i c a l film-maker.)

The Garden is h a r d e r t h a n m a n y of J a r m a n ' s other films (for e x a m p l e Jubilee, The Tempest or Caravaggio) probably because J a r m a n feels he is m a k i n g m o r e a n d m o r e for himself r a t h e r t h a n p e o p l e (he c l a i m s to be the o n l y r e a l i n d e p e n d e n t f i l m - m a k e r of his g e n e r a t i o n !

H e also said 'The Garden e x t e nds c i n e m a i n a w a y that is absolutely e x t r a o r d i n a r y ' ) . I suppose artistic integrity c o m e s m o r e easily if y o u k n o w y o u w o n ' t be m a k i n g m a n y m o r e films ( J a r m a n is HIV-positive).

G o see The Garden challenged.

I.H.

if y o u w a n t to be

Arachnophobia Yes.it is about spiders, a n d yes, they are nasty ones. It starts in great ' B m o v i e ' style w i t h a n e x p e d i t i o n to a r e m o t e p a r t of the V e n e z u a l i a n rainforest that has b e e n cut off f r o m the outside w o r l d for thousands of... Y e s , w e l l , y o u get the idea. T h e upshot of this is that one of the a f o r e m e n t i o n e d nasty spiders get b a c k to the g o o d o l ' U S A , the l a n d of o p p o r t u n i t y (at least, a p p a r e n t l y , for spiders). It ends up in a lazy little rustic t o w n , the n e w h o m e of a b i g city doctor (Jeff Daniels) a n d his family, w h o have m o v e d a w a y f r o m the stress of the b i g city. F r o m this point o n e v e r y t h i n g goes w r o n g for D a n i e l s (who, s u r p r i s i n g l y e n o u g h , has a n acute case of the a f o r e m e n t i o n e d phobia), a n d right for the spiders (well, at least until the e n d of the m o v i e ) . S e v e r a l

in

deaths ensue, the last b e i n g that of the baddies (ie the spiders).

T h e secret to e n j o y i ng this m o v i e (and it is enjoyable) is to suspend y o u r disbelief. Scientifically (sorry) s p e a k i n g , it sucks. It r e a l l y is v e r y silly. T h e spiders have a hive b a s e d biology, w h i c h is silly, a n d are jolly intelligent, w h i c h is v e r y silly. H o w e v e r , the film is v e r y good. It manages to m a i n t a i n a H i t c h c o c k i a n tension, i n t e r s p e r s e d w i t h some v e r y funny bits, m a i n l y s u p p l i e d b y J o h n G o o d m a n (the h u s b a n d i n T V ' s Rosanne) w h o plays t h e role of the t o w n 's pest e x t e r m i n a t o r . T h e e n d result is s o m e t h i n g of a r o l l e r c o a s t e r ride of h o r r o r a n d h u m o u r , w e l l w o r t h the effort. E v e n if y o u are s c a r e d of spiders.

A l i e n Sex F i e n d

It's over there... (The

Garden)

ML If you're a spider, don't mess with this man!

Miami Blues A f t e r s e e i n g a c e r t a i n n u m b e r of films y o u start to d r a w a few c o n c l u s i o n s about v a r i o u s things.

O n e of m i n e is that films b a s e d o n b o o k s are a l w a y s a bit w e i r d . O f t e n they're v e r y b a d as w e l l , e s p e c i a l l y if the d i r e c t o r decides to stick v e r y c l o s e l y to the o r i g i n a l , i n s t e a d of u t i l i s i n g the advantages of f i l m as a m e d i u m , a n d w o r k i n g a r o u n d the innate d r a w b a c k s .

Right, e n o u g h of the p r e t e n t i o u s film critic (rave on). M i a m i blues is a film of a b o o k of an i d e a that the w r i t e r (no doubt) o n c e h a d w h i l e sitting in front of his k e y b o a r d a n d w o n d e r i n g w h a t t i m e the pubs o p e n . O r m a y b e not. A n y w a y , it is a bit w e i r d .

T h e story follows the a d v e n t u r e s of o n e Frederick j . Frenger, Jr. (Alec Baldwin), e x - c o n , a n e w c o m e r to M i a m i , a n d a bit of a p s y c h o t i c t y p e as w e l l . O n c e off the p l a n e he b r e a k s the finger of a p e s t e r i n g H a r i K r i s h n a a n d w a l k s off. T h e K r i s h n a p r o m p t l y d r o p s d e a d f r o m s h o c k , w h i c h is a bit unfortunate for J u n i o r (and the K r i s h n a , of course) as this sets Sergeant H o k e M o s e l e y (Fred W a r d ) o n his trail.

B y the w a y , w h e r e d i d t h e y get these n a m e s from?

A n y w a y , J u n i o r meets Susie W a g g o n e r (Jennifer J a s o n L e i g h , a n d I'm not j o k i n g about the name..) a n d off w e go o n a s o m e t i m e s f u n n y , s o m e t i m e s sad a n d s o m e t i m e s s h o c k i n g , but u l t i m a t e l y

d o o m e d trip i n t o u n w i l l i n g B o n n i e a n d very willing Clyde country. W i t h Junior getting h o l d of a cops gun a n d b a d g e a n d u s i n g t h e m to c o m m i t v a r i o u s c r i m i n a l type things O v e r a l l it's a h a r d f i lm to r e v i e w . It's v e r y w e l l d o n e , quite a m u s i n g at points a n d F r e d W a r d is, as a l w a y s , excellent.

But w h e t h e r or not y o u s h o u l d go a n d see it r e a l l y d e p e n d s o n y o u r feelings t o w a r d s the s l o w but definite sense of i n e v i t a b i l i t y that p e r v a d e s t h e w h o l e film.

Y o u k n o w w h a t ' s g o i n g to h a p p e n a l o n g t i m e before it does, a n d despite the traditions of H o l l y w o o d it does h a p p e n .

Mmmm...

A l i e n Sex

Fiend

T h r e e Sisters T h e P h y s i c s students have d e v e l o p e d a b a d r e p u t a t i o n at this C o l l e g e . T o wit: t h e y are 'square' a n d b o r i n g . T h i s is p e r h a p s o n l y true for 6 0 % of a n y g i v e n y e a r , but it is still a significant p r o p o r t i o n . T h e i r g r o w n - u p c o u n t e r p a r t s , t h e professors, are, w i t h a few noticable e x c e p t i o n s , little better.

W h y t h e n is o n e of the m a i n c h a r a c t e r s i n this f i lm a n a t t r a c t i v e , w o m a n i s i n g a n d l i k e a b l e b a s t a r d of a P h y s i c s professor?

It is a q u e s t i o n of conflicts, as is so often the case i n ' r e l a t i o n s h i p ' m o v i e s .

Life a n d s c i e n c e , m a n a n d w o m a n , duty a n d desire struggle t h e i r w a y t h r o u g h the lives of the t h r e e s i s t e r s — S a n d r a ( V a l e r i a Golino), a n 18-year o l d m e d i c a l student, Ve l i a (Fanny Ardant) a lecturer and Maria (Greta Scacchi), b o r e d wife of a T V C o m e d i a n — a s w e l l as their artistically frustrated b r o t h e r R o b e r t o (Sergio Castellitto). W h i l e the w o m e n are the

Fred Ward's blues

got

those

c e n t r a l c h a r a c t e s , the m e n are not r e d u c e d to c i p h e r s , but a l l o w e d full characters, if ones w h i c h s e e m inferior to the w o m e n .

T h e film is h a n d i c a p p e d b y the t w i n d i s a d v a n t a g e s of subtitles a n d s l o w p a c i n g , yet for those p r e p a r e d to b r a v e these a g o o d f i l m awaits. Despite the language b a r r i e r , the f i lm a v o i d s a d d r e s s i n g c u l t u r e specific p r o b l e m s , instead r e l y i n g o n u n i v e r s a l e m o t i o n s a n d fears, a d i r e c t i o n that was n o d o u b t a i d e d b y the fact of its I t a l i a n - F r e n c h - G e r m a n c o - p r o d u c t i o n . Into this e m o t i o n a l s w e l l w e are swept, w i t h the c o n c e p t of t i m e s l o w l y e b b i n g f r o m the m i n d , as w e c o m e to care for t h e c h a r a c t e r s . W i t h o u t d o u b t a g o o d , if n o t e x c e p t i o n a l m o v i e , a n d one that is better t h a n m u c h of the c o m m e r c i a l dross foisted o n us b y Hollywood.

Pendragon.

Miami

Texasville is one of those films that cries out to be d e s c r i b e d as ' w a r m , affectionate a n d w i t t y ' a n d w h i l e it's a l l of these things, it's also m o r e c a l i b r a t e d for the A m e r i c a n p s y c h o - d r a m a m a r k e t t h a n for B r i t i s h a u d i e n c e s . A l l the c h a r a c t e r s are w e l l - d r a w n a n d the plot (for w a n t of a better w o r d ) is e n t i r e l y c o n c e r n e d w i t h their v a r i o u s neuroses a n d love-lives.

A l l i n a l l , a n i c e film w i t h a fair a m o u n t of a p p e a l but don't e x p e c t fast-moving a c t i o n . A nice place to visit, but I w o u l d n ' t w a n t to l i v e there.

The Flying Gerbil

One sister - one drink: Democracy in action

The

start of

Texasville

a tough

day

in

The Love for T h r e e Oranges A n d Madam Butterfly English National Opera at the London T h e c u r r e n t E N O season has r e a c h e d n e w heights of e x c e l l e n c e w i t h t h e c o m b i n a t i o n of P r o k o f i e v ' s T h e L o v e for T h r e e O r a n g e s a n d P u c c i n i ' s M a d a m B u t t e r f l y , b o t h i n staging and musically.

T h e L o v e f o r T h r e e O r a n g e s is a w e l l d e s e r v e d r a p i d r e v i v a l of last year's p r o d u c t i o n . A n o n s e n s i c a l tale of a n o n e x i s t e n t k i n g d o m w h e r e the P r i n c e is d y i n g until the faithful jester T r u f f a l d i n o m a k e s h i m l a u g h . T h e P r i n c e is t h e n c u r s e d to fall i n l o v e w i t h t h r e e oranges a n d sets out o n a quest to find t h e m , o Needless to say there is a h a p p y e n d i n g as the p r i n c e finds his b e a u t i f u l b r i d e ; a l o n g the w a y there are l a r g e dollops of w i c k e d witches, evil relations and plotting prime ministers.

T h e p r o d u c t i o n captures t h e spirit of a b s u r d i t y b e a u t i f u l l y : the set g r o a n s u n d e r the w e i g h t of d i s t o r t e d p e r s p e c t i v e ; D o n a l d M a x w e l l ' s c o n t o r t e d w a l k as the evil prime minister Leander will make y o u w i n c e ; a n d the costumes a l l o w no-

Coliseum

one, least of all the heroes, to a p p e a r dignified o r sensible. T h e a u d i e n c e are i n v i t e d to use ' s c r a t c h ' n ' sniff cards at a p p r o p r i a t e m o m e n t s to p r o d u c e suitable odours. T h i s is o p e r a at its most fun, frivolous a n d accessible.

N o n e of this is at the e x p e n s e of the music. A l l the parts are w e l l s u n g , e s p e c i a l l y Stuart K a l e a s T r u f f a l d i n o a n d A l a n W o o d r o w as the P r i n c e . A s a l w a y s the o r c h e s t r a a r e w e l l d r i l l e d . T h i s p r o d u c t i o n is n o t just r e c o m m e n d e d , it is a must for a n y o n e w h o has a p a s s i n g interest i n b e i n g a m u s e d .

o w n c u l t u r e f o r her h u s b a n d a n d refuses to b e l i e v e he w i l l not r e t u r n . She also brings a powerful and pure voice w h i c h rises b r i l l i a n t l y to the c h a l l e n g e of Puccini's score.

T h e w h o l e p r o d u c t i o n b r i n g s n e w light to this o l d favourite, stressing the a l i e n a t i o n b e t w e e n the J a p a n e s e a n d the A m e r i c a n s a n d the l a c k of u n d e r s t a n d i n g b e t w e e n the t w o w o r l d s . T h e set is b o t h stark a n d o n a h u m a n scale, difficult to describe i n a f e w w o r d s , b u t a l w a y s i n v e n t i v e a n d reflecting t h e m a n y m o o d s of the story.

T h e p r o d u c t i o n of M a d a m B u t t e r f l y is different but n o less c o m m e n d a b l e . It d r a w s o n the darkest e l e m e n t s i n this tragic tale. P i n k e r t o n , the A m e r i c a n sai l or w h o m a r r i e s a Japanese g e i s h a , l i g h t l y a n d f r i v o l o u s l y , k n o w i n g he c a n d i v o r c e her s i m p l y b y a b a n d o n i n g h e r , is p l a y e d a heartless c a d : insensitive, u n c u l t u r e d a n d careless. S u s a n B u l l o c k b r i n g s n a i v e t y a n d c h i l d i s h n e s s to the r o l e of the b e w i l d e r e d B u t t e r f l y , w h o a b a n d o n s her

B o t h p r o d u c t i o n s are a must. T h e L o v e for T h r e e O r a n g e s c o n t i n u e s until J a n u a r y 2 4 t h a n d M a d a m Butterfly u n t i l F e b r u a r y 9th. T i c k e t s are f r o m £6, w i t h 100 seats at £4 o n the day a n d s t a n d i n g r o o m at £3.50 if a l l seats h a v e b e e n s o l d .

T h e L o n d o n C o l i s e u m is o n St M a r t i n ' s L a n e , near T r a f a l g a r Square.

Liz W

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8

Michael Newman introduces a new programme of talks organised by the Imperial College Huxley Society.

Godlessness 30th J a n u a r y 1991 is the c e n t e n a r y of the d e a t h of C h a r l e s B r a d l a u g h : T h e m a n w h o m a d e s e c u l a r i s m a mass m o v e m e n t in the 19th C e n t u r y , a m a n w h o successfully e n t e r e d P a r l i a m e n t as a L i b e r a l M P , despite a five y e a r battle d u e to his n o t o r i e t y as an atheist a n d supporter of sex e d u c a t i o n , e a c h t i m e b e i n g re-elected b y his constituents!

A s so m a n y writers, p u b l i s h e r s a n d booksellers h a d b e e n t a k e n to court a n d prison for b l a s p h e m y , B r a d l a u g h successfully c h a l l e n g e d the establishment w i t h the fight for his right to represent, speak a n d p u b l i s h . H e was o n e of the most p o p u l a r s p e a k e r s of his day.

T h e o r g a n i s a t i o n he led, t h e N a t i o n a l Secular S o c i e t y , is still c a m p a i g n i n g against the injustices of c e n s o r s h i p , b l a s p h e m y l a w s , religious w o r s h i p a n d schools, the i n f l u e n c e of C h r i s t i a n r e l i g i o n i n the m e d i a a n d i n our l a w s . T h e figurehead t o d a y , B a r b a r a S m o k e r , is a t o u g h a n d s h a r p - w i t t e d l a d y w h o , since her e a r l y e x p e r i e n c e s of C a t h o l i c i s m , has spent her life fighting religious b i g o t r y and propoganda.

She, a l o n g w i t h other H u m a n i s t s , led a m a r c h i n s u p p o r t of S a l m a n R u s h d i e , as a c o u n t e r - d e m o n s t r a t i o n to the M u s l i m protests. She perf orms n o n - r e l i g i o u s funerals a n d w e d d i n g s , i n c l u d i n g weddings between homosexuals and lesbians. She has w r i t t e n b o o k s o n H u m a n i s m a n d the c a m p a i g n for the right to e u t h a n a s i a . F o r decades she has b e e n a strident v o i c e i n the m e d i a d e f e n d i n g the rights of atheists a n d agnostics.

M a n y p e o p l e a r e u n d e r the false i m p r e s s i o n that this is a C h r i s t i a n c o u n t r y .

T h e r e is a n i g n o r a n c e of the c o n t r i b u t i o n s to o u r c u l t u r e a n d history of those p e o p l e w h o profess Godlessness. (If M i c h a e l Heseltine h a d w o n the l e a d e r s h i p e l e c t i o n all o u r p o l i t i c a l leaders w o u l d have b e e n non-believers!). T h i s i g n o r a n c e also includes that of the history of I m p e r i a l

CHARTER

College.

I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e , or the N o r m a l S c h o o l of S c i e n c e , was set up as a p l a c e to t r a i n science t e ac he r s . H G W e l l s w o n a m e a g r e s c h o l a r s h i p here as a student teacher.

T h i s w a s a part of the G o v e r n m e n t ' s plans to i m p r o v e our school s, resulting i n the 1870 E d u c a t i o n A c t that c r e a t e d a state s c h o o l s y s t e m . A m o n g s t those i n v o l v e d in the c a m p a i g n for e d u c a t i o n , a n d specifically science e d u c a t i o n , as w e l l as h e l p i n g to i m p l e m e n t t h e A c t was Professor T H H u x l e y , D e a n of the C o l l e g e. His w r i t i n g s , t e a c h i n g a n d c a m p a i g n i n g c l e a r l y s h o w t h e relationship b e t w e e n his a g n o s t i c i s m , a t e r m he c o i n e d , a n d his aims i n s c i e n c e t e a c h i n g : a t r a d i t i o n that c a n be f o u n d w i t h i n the staff of I m p e r i a l t h r o u g h o u t its history.

A s an a c k n o w l e d g e m e n t to, a n d c e l e b r a t i o n of, this t r a d i t i o n the T H H u x l e y S o c i e t y has o r g a n i s e d a series of speakers, e v e r y T h u r s d a y l u n c h t i m e this t e r m . T h e y w i l l c o v e r the history of W e l l s a n d H u x l e y at the C o l l e g e , the history of b l a s p h e m y , t h e p e r s o n a l beliefs of those l e a d i n g the Secularist m o v e m e n t , the life of B r a d l a u g h a n d the r e l a t i o n s h i p between science and religion.

T h e society is also e x a m i n i n g the w a y w e see a n d u n d e r s t a n d science. W e are i n v i t i n g poets to r e a d a n d discuss their w o r k s . A n e x h i b i t i o n p u b l i c i s i n g our first p o e t r y event, w i t h J o Shapcott, c a n be seen i n the b o o k s t o r e w i n d o w . H e r b o o k s , a l o n g w i t h those of o u r President, the i n t e r n a t i o n a l poet a n d scientist D r M i r o s l a v H o l u b , as w e l l as the b o o k Breaking the Shackles—about Imperial College, W e l l s a n d H u x l e y — c a n be b o u g h t f r o m the U n i o n B o o k s t o r e .

T h e N a t i o n a l P o e t r y S o c i e t y is i n v o l v e d w i t h us i n o r g a n i s i n g a resident poet, at I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e , to e x a m i n e a n d describe science here. F o r those interested i n poetry, the P o e t r y Society's events are held o n T u e s d a y or T h u r s d a y evenings, at

STUDENTS

FELIX

Earl's C o u r t S q u a r e , five m i n u t e s f r o m Earl's C o u r t t u b e station. T h e r e is a g o o d bar a n d y o u c a n get to meet the poets after their readings.

M e m b e r s h i p f o r ms are a v a i l a b l e f r o m the I C U B o o k s t o r e .

L o o k out for t h e H u x l e y S o c i e t y c o m i n g out s o o n . newsletter, Experiment,

THE FOLLOWING EVENTS A R E TO B E H E L D IN H U X L E Y 340 A T 1.00PM O N T H U R S D A Y S 17th J a n u a r y — 7 b Hell with GodBarbara S m o k e r e x p l a i n s her life-long fight against r e l i g i o n hero 24th J a n u a r y — B r a d l a u g h — t h e of 19th Century Secularism—Jim H e r r i c k , w r i t e r a n d editor of ' N e w Humanist' 31st January—Humanist Ceremonies— Jane W y n n e Willson, C h a i r w o m a n of the B r i t i s h H u m a n i s t A s s o c i a t i o n , talks about the g r o w i n g n u m b e r of H u m a n i s t w e d d i n g s , funerals a n d n a m i n g c e r e m o n i e s .

7th F e b r u a r y — 'Mainly Christian Current Worship in Our Schools' The Battleground—John White, educationalist, m e m b e r of interfaith e d u c a t i o n g r o u p , adviser to L E A s .

14th F e b r u a r y (Huxley 213)— Religion and Science—Professor Sir H e r m a n n B o n d i , i n t e r n a t i o n a l physicist a n d P r e s i d e n t of the B r i t i s h H u m a n i s t Association re-examines Huxley's theme.

E v e n i n g — L o v e in the Lab—So Shapcott r e a d s h e r p o e t r y .

21st F e b r u a r y — B r e a k i n g the Shackles—Michael N e w m a n talks about his b o o k o n I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e , W e l l s and T H Huxley.

ARTISTS

WRITERS

ENTERTAIN

The A n g r y Y o u n g Publishing House needs y o u to contribute to ' C H A R T E R ' magazine and other periodicals. A L L material a n d every viewpoint is w e l c o m e. F o r more information, a n d our contributors guide, send a stamped, self-addressed envelope to: Bachelor House, 41 Turnpike Lane, London N8 0EP.

9

Amnesty International report on the attrocities committed by Iraqi forces in Kuwait.

FELIX

IP FELIX

W h i l e W e Stand B y

Another K u w a i t i medical doctor e x a m i n e d the b o d i e s of v i c t i m s i n the Red Crescent headquarters between August and October:

T h i s is a s u m m a r y of a n 82 p a g e e x t e r n a l A m n e s t y I n t e r n a t i o n a l (AI) r e p o r t : ' I r a q / O c c u p i e d Kuwait: H u m a n Rights V i o l a t i o n s s i n c e A u g u s t 2' ( M D E 14/16/90) p u b l i s h e d o n D e c e m b e r 19.

T h e full d o c u m e n t is a v a i l a b l e f r o m A m n e s t y International British section, 99, R o s e b e r y A v e n u e , L o n d o n E C 1 R 4 R E for ÂŁ4.00.

'I p e s o n a l l y e x a m i n e d about 60 bodies. In a d d i t i o n t o those shot t h r o u g h the b a c k of the h e a d , s o m e of t h e m also b o r e m a r k s of t o r t u r e s u c h as b u r n s o n v a r i o u s parts of the b o d y . S o m e h a d b r o k e n l i m b s , others b o r e signs consistent w i t h having been beaten w i t h heavy implements. O n e victim had clearly had his b e a r d p l u c k e d out, a n d others h a d their finger a n d toenails p u l l e d out. I c a m e across three p e o p l e w h o h a d b e e n t o r t u r e d w i t h e l e c t r i c i t y o n t h e i r genitals a n d b a c k a n d t h r e e others w h o h a d cigarettes e x t i n g u i s h e d o n t h e i r eyeballs.

In most cases t h e i m m e d i a t e cause of d e a t h w a s not a bullet but torture...'

W i d e s p r e a d abuses of h u m a n rights h a v e b e e n p e r p e t r a t e d b y Iraqi forces f o l l o w i n g the i n v a s i o n of K u w a i t o n A u g u s t 2 1990.

T h e s e i n c l u d e t h e a r b i t r a r y arrest a n d d e t e n t i o n w i t h o u t t r i a l of t h o u s a n d s of c i v i l i a n s a n d m i l i t a r y p e r s o n n e l ; the w i d e s p r e a d t o r t u r e of s u c h persons i n c u s t o d y ; the i m p o s i t i o n of the d e a t h p e n a l t y a n d t h e e x t r a j u d i c i a l e x e c u t i o n of h u n d r e d s of u n a r m e d c i v i l i a n s , i n c l u d i n g children.

A I takes no position o n the conflict i n t h e Gulf, a n d does not c o n d o n e k i l l i n g s a n d o t h e r acts of v i o l e n c e p e r p e t r a t e d b y the parties t o t h e conflict. W h a t c o n c e r n s the o r g a n i s a t i o n are h u m a n rights v i o l a t i o n s t a k i n g place i n that c o n t e x t .

T h o s e v i o l a t i o n s w h i c h have b e e n r e p o r t e d s i n c e A u g u s t 2 1990 are e n t i r e l y consistent w i t h abuses k n o w n t o h a v e b e e n c o m m i t t e d i n Iraq o v e r m a n y years, and w h i c h have been documented by A I i n its n u m e r o u s reports. Iraq's p o l i c y of the b r u t a l s u p p r e s s i o n of a l l forms of i n t e r n a l dissent c o n t i n u e s t o b e i m p l e m e n t e d , a n d the p e o p l e of Iraq r e m a i n its v i c t i m s . A I has r e p e a t e d l y p l a c e d s u c h i n f o r m a t i o n o n the p u b l i c r e c o r d , a n d regrets that u n t i l the i n v a s i o n of K u w a i t , the i n t e r n a t i o n a l c o m m u n i t y d i d not see fit t o a p p l y s e r i o u s pressure i n a n attempt t o put an ftnd t o these abuses.

T h e report has b e e n c o m p i l e d p r i n c i p a l l y o n the basis of i n t e r v i e w s w i t h s o m e 100 p e o p l e w h o fled K u w a i t b e t w e e n A u g u s t a n d N o v e m b e r 1990.

They were mostly interviewed in Saudi A r a b i a , B a h r a i n a n d the U K . T h e y i n c l u d e d B a h r a i n i s , Saudis, L e b a n e s e , E g y p t i a n s , Palestinians, Indians, F i l i p i n o s , B r i t o n s a n d A m e r i c a n s as w e l l as K u w a i t i nationals, f o r m e r detainees, families a n d v i c t i m s of e x t r a j u d i c i a l e x e c u t i o n s a n d those w h o h a v e ' d i s a p p e a r e d ' , eyewitnesses a n d m e d i c a l p e r s o n n e l .

It is i m p o s s i b l e to estimate the n u m b e r s arrested after the i n v a s i o n . K u w a i t i sources estimate o v e r 10,000 h a v e b e e n d e t a i n e d — a figure impossible t o substantiate w i t h o u t further i n t e r r o g a t i o n .

T h e report c o n t a i n s e x t e n s i v e i n t e r v i e w s w i t h detainees w h o w e r e t o r t u r e d . C o m m o n t o the testimonies of most witnesses w e r e reports that:

In the a p p e n d i c e s t o the A m n e s t y r e p o r t are eight d e t a i l e d t e s t i m o n i e s f r o m t o r t u r e v i c t i m s w h o h a v e fled f r o m K u w a i t , a n d p h o t o g r a p h s a n d detailed m e d i c a l r e p o r t s s u b s t a n t i a t i n g e v i d e n c e of n i n e other cases of t o r t u r e a n d e x t r a j u d i c i a l e x e c u t i o n . Iraqi forces at a l l levels h a v e b e e n i n v o l v e d i n the i n f l i c t i o n of torture, f r o m the a r m y .

3. I n f o r m a t i o n h a d t o b e g i v e n about themselves a n d their rel at i ves.

1. Detainees h a d t o s i g n a statement d e c l a r i n g t h e i r allegiance t o President S a d d a m H u s s a i n a n d the Iraqi G o v e r n m e n t , a n d t h e i r a g r e e m e n t to c o o p e r a t e w i t h the Iraqi a u t h o r i t i e s (principally t o act as informers).

4. T h e y w e r e t o l d that if t h e y t a l k e d about w h a t h a p p e n e d t o t h e m t h e y w o u l d be k i l l e d .

2. Release w a s o b t a i n e d v i a the p a y m e n t of b r i b e s — m o n e y a n d g o o d d e m a n d e d i n c l u d e d T V sets, videos, etc.

A s incidents of arrests a n d k i l l i n g s m u l t i p l i e d f r o m m i d - A u g u s t , the families of those w h o h a d d i s a p p e a r e d b e c a m e i n c r e a s i n g l y r e l u c t a n t t o m a k e enquiries

about t h e m for fear of b e i n g a r r e s t e d themselves.

A K u w a i t i R e d Crescent w o r k e r h e l d for 26 days i n S e p t e m b e r i n t h e Nayef P a l a c e told AI: 'I s a w about 30-40 p e o p l e e v e r y day.

M o s t of t h e m a p p e a r e d t o h a v e b e e n b e a t e n o r o t h e r w i s e t o r t u r e d . T h e soldiers r o u t i n e l y k i c k e d the detainees i n the stomach causing m a x i m u m damage with t h e i r h e a v y a r m y boots. O n one o c c a s i o n

I saw a m a n w h o was urinating blood, p r e s u m a b l y d u e to a h a e m o r r h a g e of the k i d n e y . H i s facial hair h a d b e e n p l u c k e d out a n d his fingernails p u l l e d out. I s a w an o l d m a n of a b o u t 60 a n d a y o u n g b o y of about 9. A n o t h e r detainee I s a w w a s b e i n g forced t o w a l k after h a v i n g b e e n subjected t o falaqa ( p r o l o n g e d b e a t i n g o n the soles of the feet). H e w a s l i m p i n g a n d s c r e a m i n g f r o m the p a i n . H i s face a n d clothes w e r e c o v e r e d w i t h b l o o d . . . '

M E T H O D S O F T O R T U R E R E P O R T E D T O B E USED BY IRAQI T R O O P S 1. Beatings o n all parts of the body, i n v o l v i n g p u n c h i n g , slapping, d e l i v e r i n g karate-style blows w i t h heavy a r m y boots. Implements used for beating include canes, metal rods, whips, steel cables, hosepipes, rubber t r u n c h e o n s a n d rifle butts.

2. Falaga: p l o l o n g e d beatings o n the soles of the feet. Sometimes the detainee is then forced to w a l k or r u n .

3. Suspending the detainee by the feet, or by the arms w h i c h are t i e d b e h i n d the b a c k .

4. Beating the detainee while he is suspended from a rotating fan in the ceiling.

5. B r e a k i n g of the arms, legs o r ribs; dislocating elbow a n d shoulder joints.

6. Lifting the detainee high up i n the air a n d then d r o p p i n g h i m , sometimes resulting i n the fracturing of bones.

7. A p p l y i n g pressure to the fingers w i t h a c l a m p like instrument.

8. Slashing the face, arms or legs w i t h knives.

9. E x t r a c t i n g finger a n d toenails.

10. Cutting off the tongue and ear.

11. G o u g i n g out o f eyes.

12. P i e r c i n g the s k i n w i t h pins o r staplers.

13. Shooting the detainee in the a r m o r leg at point blank range, followed by d e p r i v a t i o n of the necessary m e d i c a l treatment.

14. Rape of w o m e n (including virgins) a n d y o u n g men.

15. Inserting bottle necks, sometimes w h e n b r o k e n , into the r e c t u m .

16. A p p l y i n g electricity to sensitive parts of the body, i n c l u d i n g the ears, lips, tongue, fingers, toes a n d genitals. S o m e t i m e s the detainee is doused w i t h water prior to the a d m i n i s t r a t i o n of electricity. T h e e l e c t r i c a l instruments used include electric batons as w e l l as w i r e d fitted w i t h clips (like those used t o recharge car batteries but smaller i n size).

17. B u r n i n g v a r i o u s parts of the b o d y , i n c l u d i n g the genitals, w i t h domestic appliances such as

electric irons, w i t h heated metal rods, o r w i t h n a k e d flame.

18. E x t i n g u i s h i n g cigarettes o n the eyeballs or o n various parts of the body, i n c l u d i n g the genitals, nipples, chest a n d hands.

19. P o u r i n g hot and c o l d water alternately o v e r the detainee.

20. P l a c i n g the detainee i n a c o l d , air-conditioned r o o m for several hours, a n d then i m m e d i a t e l y into a heated r o o m .

21. P o u r i n g caustic substances o n t o the eyes, causing blindness.

22. P l u c k i n g facial hair, p a r t i c u l a r l y the beard, w i t h pincers or pliers.

23. P l a c i n g heavy weights o n the detainee's body.

24. Spitting into the detainees m o u t h .

25. E x p o s i n g the detainee to the sun for s e v e r a l hours at a stretch without water.

26. Subjecting the detainee to m o c k e x e c u t i o n .

This includes h o l d i n g the head b e l o w water to the point of near suffocation; going t h r o u g h the

motions of e x e c u t i o n b y firing s q u a d a n d holding a gun to the head o r in the m o u t h a n d p u l l i n g the trigger.

27. F o r c i n g the detainee to w a t c h others being tortured, o r to hear their screams.

28. R a p i n g or t o r t u r i n g of detainee's relatives in his or her presence; threatening the detainee w i t h such acts.

29. T h r e a t e n i n g the detainee w i t h torture methods such as the electric c h a i r , o r w i t h death b y i m m e r s i o n in an acid bath.

30. D e p r i v a t i o n of m e d i c a l treatment.

31. D e p r i v a t i o n of sleep, food, water, fresh air and toilet or w a s h i n g facilities.

32. D e g r a d i n g the detainee by u s i n g obscene language o r insults.

33. B o r i n g a hole in the leg, a p p a r e n t l y w i t h a type of d r i l l i n g tool.

34. Castration.

W i t h i n a m o n t h of the i n v a s i o n , the R e v o l u t i o n a r y C o m m a n d C o u n c i l (RCC) of Iraq h a d i n t r o d u c e d the d e a t h p e n a l t y for t h r e e m o r e offences: h o a r d i n g food, looting a n d harbouring Western nationals.

In line w i t h its n o r m a l p o l i c y the Iraqi G o v e r n m e n t has not r e v e a l e d figures o n the n u m b e r s e x e c u t e d . A I is u n a b l e t o estimate the extent t o w h i c h a n y of the executions in Kuwait can be considered 'judicial' i.e. after fair trials that c o n f o r m to i n t e r n a t i o n a l standards a n d t o Iraq's o w n d o m e s t i c legislation.

In a d d i t i o n t o this, there h a v e b e e n h u n d r e d s of d e l i b e r a t e e x t r a j u d i c i a l killings of u n a r m e d p e o p l e b y the Iraqi a r m e d forces.

In a statement, the Iraqi E m b a s s y i n L o n d o n d i d n o t d e n y these reports but a d v i s e d A m n e s t y t o ' e x a m i n e their so c a l l e d " t e s t i m o n i e s " as one-sided stories w o u l d o n l y further e x p o s e the i n t e n t i o n s of those i n v o l v e d i n this lip-service b y the Amnesty.'

A s a response t o this report, A m n e s t y m e m b e r s t h r o u g h o u t the U K are u n d e r t a k i n g a letter w r i t i n g a c t i o n t o the Iraqi a u t h o r i t i e s v i a the Iraqi a m b a s s a d o r , e x p r e s s i n g A m n e s t y ' s c o n c e r n s i n Iraqioccupied Kuwait.

F o r further i n f o r m a t i o n contact I m p e r i a l College A m n e s t y International Group.

Clare Poulain, ME3.

Gene Loves Jezebel -Tangled Gene Loves Jezebel c o n t i n u e t h e i r quest for c h a r t success. In d e s p e r a t i o n , this release c o n t a i n s one t r a c k f r o m e a c h of their latest four L P s , but n o t n e c e s s a r i l y the best (these w e r e r e l e a s e d years ago).

T h e last d i t c h a d v e r t e v e n goes so far as to i n c l u d e a c o m p l e t e a l b u m photo d i s c o g r a p h y i n the gatefold.

T h e title t r a c k a c t u a l l y s o u n d s g o o d . A l l the ingredients of chart success are there, b i g s o u n d , h a p p y tune, h a p p y l y r i c s , n o t h i n g d e v a s t a t i n g l y beautiful. T h e c a t c h is J a y ' s v o i c e w h i c h w i l l o n l y e v e r be suited to his effected e x p e r i m e n t s , but blight this t u n e f u l attempt. T h e d e a d e n d i n g s h o u l d t h r o w a few D J s but it c o u l d chart if it r e c e i v e s e n o u g h a i r p l a y .

A s the r e c o r d w h i n e s o n , the b a n d

Up In You

12"

w i n d further b a c k into t h e i r persistent if not p r o g r e s s i v e past. In fact it o n l y leads to w o n d e r i n g w h e t h e r the b a n d h a v e r a t h e r regressed. Suspicion and Heartache b o t h are m o r e t y p i c a l , m o r e d a r i n g a n d r e m i n i s c e n t of U2's Unforgettable Fire era but w i t h m o r e to it. T h e n , to totally c o n t r a d i c t me, t h e last a n d earliest t r a c k here is the w o r s t of the lot, d o d g y vocals, dodgy backing, dodgy track. Sorry, Stephen.

T h e o d d c h o i c e of t r a c k s just p r o v e that s o m e things don't c h a n g e . If y o u are a fan of Gene Loves Jezebel y o u w i l l a l r e a d y o w n the four offerings here. If y o u are not, t h i s w i l l n o t c o n v e r t y o u , but it m a y w e l l e a r n the b a n d a few m o r e pennies .

SJH

World of Twist —Subterrania I expected a dodgy Manchester band and I got it. E v e n the c a t a l o g u e of v i s u a l effects, w h i c h l u c k i l y c o n c e a l e d the S h a u n R y d e r l o o k a l i k e , c o u l d not m a k e s u c h insipid m u s i c interesting.

T h a n k G o d for a s u p p o r t act w i t h a d e g r e e of o r i g i n a l i t y . T h e first s o n g b e g a n w i t h a n e v e r - e n d i n g m e s h of s a m p l e d noise a n d e n d e d w i t h a w a v e of feedback w h i c h left flares q u a k i n g i n its w a k e . T h e rest of the set consisted of a series of bursts of d i s t o r t e d , h e a v i l y flanged w a h -

Dickless A s o m e w h a t strange r e c o r d w i t h an apt n a m e for the, d a r e 1 say, f o x c o r e , b a n d . I w o u l d p r e s u m e that this is t h e i r first release of the O K ' s G l i t t e r h o u s e l a b e l

w a h guitar w a s h i n g o v e r the bass a n d d r u m s . T h e v o c a l s w e r e m ag ni f i c e nt.

A l t h o u g h soft t hey w e r e c l e a r l y a u d i b l e o v e r the b a c k i n g noise. Dr Phibes k i c k e d butt. U n f o r t u n a t e l y w h a t e v e r t hey w e r e o n w a s not g e n e r a l l y d i s t r i b u t e d to the a s s e m b l e d , flared, fans a n d their m a g n i f i c e n c e s e e m e d to pass w e l l o v e r their heads.

T h e rest of it—see Dr Phibes a v o i d the M a n c h e s t e r clones l i k e the plague.

Seb.

-I'm

a Man

—Miss America

12"

12"

(licenced f r o m Sub P o p U S A ) . It c o i n c i d e s w i t h the r e c e nt v i n y l debut of L7 a n d subsequent U K tour. S i m i l a r i t i e s m a y be d r a w n w i t h a n o t h e r b a n d s , The Lunachicks, w h o are h o w e v e r at the other e x t r e m e .

T h e best c o m p a r i s o n is p e r h a p s Pussy G a l o r e s ' b a s t a r d c h i l d , Boss H o g . T h e same bass o r i e n t a t e d d r a w l i n g a m b l e t h r o u g h the c l i c h e d r e a l m s of s c u m r o c k d o m i n a t e a n d a v o i c e that defies the n a m e Dickless.

Despite a l l these assets the music is one d i m e n s i o n a l , s h o w i n g little initiative. It seems the t ri ed a n d tested Sub P o p f o r m u l a is b e i n g used again. T h e B side is r e m a r k a b l y s i m i l a r to Tad's God's Balls—some achievement c o n s i d e r i n g t h e difference i n vocalists.

U n f o r t u n a t e l y it sounds l i k e Sub P o p , a little heavier t h a n the Sub P o p of o l d but still the same o l d r o c k ' n ' r o l l .

Seb.

12

The Big D i sh

Side one, the title track, s o u n d s l i k e the n e e d l e stuck. T h e s a m e line is repeated ten times, t h e n a different o n e , t h e n off t he y go a g a i n ! . T h e result, eight m i n u t e s of reasonableness that n e e d e d a little m o r e e n e r g y to c o n v e r t t h e m o n o t o n y into m us i c. T h i s is a case of a single b e i n g s t r e t c h e d to a 1 2 " that s h o u l d h a v e r e m a i n e d at s e v e n .

Side t w o definitely has m o r e substance a n d the n e e d e d energy. B o t h 'The M i s s i o n B e l l to the D e e p B l u e Sea' a n d ' T h e T o w n C e l e b r i t y ' h o l d y o u r interest in a w a y that 'Miss A m e r i c a ' fails. This is a style of m u s i c that, i n g e n e r a l , I l i k e .

Male vocals suported by a traditional d r u m s a n d guitars set up a n d so thay w o u l d have to be v e r y b a d for m e not to like t h e m - w h i c h t h e y ' r e not.

A g o o d effort, hopefully the forthcoming album will contain something a little m o r e e x c i t i n g - k e e p t r y i n g .

IGH

The persistent Pinky and Perky eventually

interview..

The Wedding Present ' A l l of a s u d d e n I've h a d l o a d s of i n t e r v i e w s to d o — h o w l o n g h a v e y o u b e e n w a i t i n g t h e n ? ' W e l l it h a d b e e n for o v e r four h o u r s , but n e v e r m i n d , w e finally h a d a n a u d i e n c e w i t h H i s R o y a l H i g h n e s s of i n d i e p o p ; M r D a v i d G e d g e .

F o r those few w h o don't k n o w , The Wedding Present h a i l f r o m Leeds (sort of), a n d are D a v i d G e d g e (guitar/vocals); Peter S o l o w k a (guitar), K e i t h G r e g o r y (bass) a n d S i m o n S m i t h (drums). So h o w d i d t hey form? ' W e l l I've k n o w n Peter for y e a r s a n d y e a r s — I w e n t to s c h o o l w i t h h i m . A c t u a l l y I've p r o b a b l y k n o w n h i m for too l o n g . I've a l w a y s b e e n i n bands a n d w h e n I f i n a l l y got to U n i v e r s i t y w e d e c i d e d to t r y a n d m a k e a c a r e e r out of it'. A t this t i m e D a v i d w a s s t u d y i n g M a t h s at Leeds, w h i l e Peter w a s in L i v e r p o o l .

'So I put a n a d v e r t in the c o l l e g e u n i o n , a n d w e got K e i t h , a n d o u r first d r u m m e r S h a u n — p u t o u t a single' (Go out and get 'em boy!) ' a n d w e ' v e n e v e r l o o k e d b a c k since.' In the e a r l y days 'Peter w a s a s u p p l y teacher, but the rest of us w e r e o n the dole, e x c e p t S h a u n w h o w a s still a student (he was a y e a r y o u n g e r t h a n us)'.

S h a u n o n d r u m s e v e n t u a l l y left 'because we asked h i m to' and was replaced by the present d r u m m e r S i m o n . 'It's just, for me a n y w a y , it's r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t that y o u get o n w i t h e v e r y o n e in t h e b a n d , a n d i n the e n d he w a s quite difficult to get o n w i t h . Y o u h e a r stories a b o u t the Sex Pistols a l l h a t i n g e a c h other, a n d t h e n m a k i n g b r i l l i a n t r e c o r d s , but I c o u l d n ' t do that.'

MUSIC

T h e i r e a r l y w o r k — t h e L P ' s George Best a n d Tommy—and n u m e r o u s singles w e r e released o n their o w n label Reception Records. The b a n d waited several years before s i g n i n g to a major r e c o r d label, i n spite of s e v e r a l l u c r a t i v e offers as t h e y sought c o m p l e t e artistic i n d e p e n d e n c e a n d c o n t r o l . T h e y finally got this w i t h R C A 'to t h e i r credit' a n d h a v e since released a n L P Bizarro a n d the singles (along w i t h a n i n f a m o u s T O T P Brassneck a p p e a r a n c e ) a n d Corduroy.

The band f o r m e d o v e r five years ago but G e d g e is still enthusiastic about w r i t i n g a n d p e r f o r m i n g — ' I don't t h i n k I'd be d o i n g it unless I w a s , it's not s o m e t h i n g I c a n m a n u f a c t u r e . I can't sit d o w n a n d say right I've got to w r i t e a s o n g , it's not l i k e

the b a n d r e a l l y e n j o y e d m a k i n g the a l b u m , a n d d o not regret that p a r t i c u l a r v e n t u r e . 'Peter w o u l d p r o b a b l y h a v e d o n e it a n y w a y ' , w i t h or w i t h o u t the other band members.

T h e b a n d ' s influences ' c h a n g e a l l the time. E a c h of us h a v e o u r o w n m u s i c a l tastes, but it's g u i t a r bands r e a l l y ' . G e d g e insists that the b a n d w o r k t o g e t h e r as a team, w i t h each member h a v i n g their o w n role, a l t h o u g h he writes a l l the songs. 'If I w r i t e t e n songs, t h e rest of the b a n d w i l l h e a r about s e v e n , a n d t h e n m a y b e five w i l l be c o m m i t t e d to r e c o r d . '

d o i n g a m a t h e m a t i c a l p r o b l e m ' (we n e v e r i m a g i n e d it was!). H e c l a i m s that he is not h a p p y w i t h t h e i r w o r k to day, as l o o k i n g b a c k George Best is a bit d i s a p p o i n t i n g , a n d s o m e t h i n g l i k e Tommy, w h i c h is a c o m p i l a t i o n of a l l the o l d singles is fairly u n l i s t e n a b l e . F o r m e , there's a l w a y s l y r i c s that stick out as slightly e m b a r r a s s i n g , a n d the s o u n d is a bit c h e a p . ' H e b e l i e v e s his w r i t i n g a n d s i n g i n g h a v e i m p r o v e d o v e r the y e a r s ' a n d n o w w e ' r e m u c h better at p r o d u c i n g r e c o r d s ' . In 1988 The Weddoes r e l e a s e d a session of U k r a n i a n folk m u s i c , w h i c h w a s s o m e w h a t distant f r o m their o w n m u s i c a l l y d i s t i n c t i v e style (but w a s still excellent). T h e guitarist Peter S o l o w k a , w h o is half U k r a n i a n c a n be h e l d solely r e s p o n s i b l e , b u t the rest of

' W e v o t e o n a l l i m p o r t a n t issues s u c h as s i g n i n g r e c o r d d e a l s — w e ' v e got a v e r y c o m p l i c a t e d v o t i n g s y s t e m — w e ' r e quite democratic really.'

A n d his v i e w s o n the c u r r e n t m u s i c scene: ' W e l l , it's alright, b u t it's not m y favourite, a l t h o u g h I quite l i k e the M a n c h e s t e r scene.' (Gedge a B A G G Y ? ? ) ' F r o m a m u s i c a l point of v i e w I'm a l l i n favour of m u s i c c h a n g i n g . ' The Wedding Present are c u r r e n t l y i n the process of getting e n o u g h m a t e r i a l together for a n e w L P ' w h i c h w i l l p r o b a b l y be r e c o r d e d e a r l y n e x t y e a r , a n d I i m a g i n e it w i l l be o u t b y S p r i n g ' .

F i n a l l y , w e h a d to ask w h e t h e r he h a d seen G e o r g e Best's n o t o r i o u s W o g a n a p p e a r a n c e , s i n c e the b a n d h a d n a m e d one of their a l b u m s after h i m .

W e l l : 'No, I w i s h I h a d , loads of p e o p l e h a v e a s k e d m e about it.'

Pinky and Perky.

Douglas Makhija ponders the future of our public transport.

Trains!

I often find myself assessing the true w o r t h of m y season ticket w h i l e c o m m u t i n g d a i l y to a n d f r o m C o l l e g e through mostly subterranean channels.

T h r e e factors c a r r y the most w e i g h t i n m y assessment: the c o m f o r t of the r i d e o n the s y s t e m , the speed at w h i c h I a m c o n v e y e d to m y d e s t i n a t i o n a n d the ease of c h a n g i n g b e t w e e n m o d e s of transport ( w h e n the n e e d arises). It is clear that w h a t , i n m y v i e w at least, is the ultimate s o l u t i o n to the p r o b l e m s c a u s e d b y the i n h e r e n t i m p e r f e c t i o ns of t h e c o n c e p t of of p u b l i c t r a n s p o r t (that c a n be easily p e r c e i v e d b y a n y o l d twit w h o travels o n the tube i n the r u s h hour) w o u l d require infrastructure c h a n g e s so r a d i c a l that it is u n l i k e l y that t hey w o u l d e v e r b e implemented.

T h e first a r e a of p u b l i c transport that c o u l d be a p p r o a c h e d (and, i n fact, is b e i n g a p p r o a c h e d — a l b e i t at a v e r y leisurely pace i n the U n i t e d K i n g d o m ) is that of the c o m f o r t of ride o n the m o d e of transport i n q u e s t i o n . In t h e case of the bus, the L e y l a n d T i t a n of 1977 r e p r e s e n t e d the major leap f o r w a r d i n p e r f o r m a n c e a n d ride, b u t t h e progress of the bus is s e v e r e l y l i m i t e d b y t h e d i m e n s i o n a l constraints i m p o s e d b y r o a d widths a n d bridge clearances. Numerous i m p r o v e m e n t s c a n still b e m a d e to the h i g h c a p a c i t y r a p i d transit 'toothpaste tubes' that o n e has the d a i l y pleasure of b e i n g s q u e e z e d into a n d o u t of, m o r n i n g and evening. W i t h modern semiconductor d e v i c e s b e i n g i n t r o d u c e d into electric traction packages, vehicle performance has i m p r o v e d a n d better ride q u a l i t y has resulted f r o m efforts to save e n e r g y .

Inside the t r a i n s , p r o b l e m s c a u s e d b y antisocial t e n d e n c i e s (similar to the classic 'seats b e i n g t a k e n o n a b u s ' a n a l o g y that is often used to e x p l a i n P a u l i 's e x c l u s i o n principle) h a v e b e e n s o l v e d b y r e m o v i n g most of the seats for future designs of trains. T h e estimates of p a c k i n g density i n g a n g w a y spaces h a v e also b e e n i n c r e a s e d f r o m 4 to 6 passengers s t a n d i n g , or rather suffocating p e r s q u a r e metre.

Increasing passenger c a p a c i t y is not sufficient: the fact that the platforms of s o m e p r i n c i p a l n o d e stations o n the L o n d o n U n d e r g r o u n d n e t w o r k c a n fill u p to 'genocide-on-the-track' p o i n t f r o m v i r t u a l l y e m p t y w i t h i n 90 seconds does i m p l y that a n i n c r e a s e d f r e q u e n c y service is desperately needed. T h i s means that m o r e trains a r e r e q u i r e d w h i c h i n t u r n implies that m o r e m o n e y is n e e d e d w h i c h m e a n s that unless t h e tube r e c e i v e s a generous d o n a t i o n of ÂŁ500m f r o m the I k i m i c h i n a t s u b i s h i B a n k of J a p a n i n r e t u r n for s o m e a d v e r t slots...basically, not i n m y lifetime.

T r a i n s h a v e to b e c l o s e l y s p a c e d i n o r d e r to d e r i v e full benefit f r o m the a v a i l a b i l i t y of m o r e r o l l i n g stock. T h e T r a n s m i s s i o n B a s e d S i g n a l l i n g (or T B S )

14

c o n c e p t has g a i n e d g r o u n d f o l l o w i n g the a d v e n t of p o p u l a r , i n e x p e n s i v e m i c r o c o n t r o l l e r s . T h e trains i n f o r m e a c h other of their r e l a t i v e positions so, if o n e t r a i n b r a k e s t o a halt, a t r a i n d i r e c t l y b e h i n d it w i l l be i n f o r m e d of the v e l o c i t y change and consequently will p r o g r e s s i v e l y b r a k e to stop a fixed distance b e h i n d the first unit. T h e s y s t e m has also f o u n d a p p l i c a t i o n i n a n a u t o m a t i c motorway driving experiment conducted b y V o l k s w a g e n i n 1989: t h r e e cars w e r e successfully d r i v e n as a ' t r a i n ' u s i n g lane m a r k i n g s as g u i d e w a y s a n d , t h r o u g h the use of r a d i o i n t e r c o m m u n i c a t i o n , w e r e able to sustain 8 0 m p h d r i v i n g at distance of '/zm apart, w i t h o u t b e i n g p h y s i c a l l y connected in any way.

T r a n s m i s s i o n B a s e d S i g n a l l i n g is finally b e i n g t u r n e d into reality i n the U K : the D o c k l a n d s L i g h t R a i l w a y i n East L o n d o n is b e i n g r e - e q u i p p e d w i t h a T B S s i g n a l l i n g s y s t e m to i n c r e a s e t r a i n f r e q u e n c y i n t i m e for the o p e n i n g of the C a n a r y W h a r f business d e v e l o p m e n t . T h e D o c k l a n d s L i g h t R a i l w a y h a s d e m o n s t r a t e d the a b i l i t y of light r a i l transit to adapt to a r a p i d l y c h a n g i n g e n v i r o n m e n t w i t h everi n c r e a s i n g usage. T h e success of the D o c k l a n d s L i g h t R a i l w a y has p a v e d the w a y for o t h e r light r a p i d transit systems i n the U n i t e d K i n g d o m : t h e M a n c h e s t e r M e t r o l i n k , featuring s t r e e t - r u n n i n g of single-deck light r a i l v e h i c l e s t h r o u g h t h e city centre, is d u e to o p e n later this year, a n d there are o t h e r systems p l a n n e d for B i r m i n g h a m , Sheffield a n d B r i s t o l , to n a m e but a few. C u r r e n t trends s e e m to suggest that p r i v a t e l y f i n a n c e d light r a i l transit w i l l be d o m i n a n t a m o n g n e w transport projects i n the U K , as w e l l as w o r l d w i d e , i n this decade.

T h e final f a i l i n g of the p u b l i c transport s y s t e m that I w o u l d l i k e to d w e l l u p o n is that of c h a n g i n g : b e t w e e n lines o n the tube, b e t w e e n tube, t r a i n o r bus, etc.

T h o s e of us w h o k n o w w h a t it is l i k e to be a ' M e t r o , B o u l o u t , D o d o ' z o m b i e w o u l d c e r t a i n l y l i k e to see a n e n d to h a v i n g to c h a n g e b e t w e e n different lines o n the tube: b e i n g t r a m p l e d u p o n o n the escalators a n d b e i n g p u s h e d o n the t r a c k in front of a n a p p r o a c h i n g t r a i n w h i l e w a i t i n g for it o n a p l a t f o r m p a c k e d to 'fire h a z a r d ' po i nt. A s i m p l e s o l u t i o n w o u l d be to c o n n e c t the lines together at the stations w h e r e t hey cross a n d to r u n t h r o u g h services b e t w e e n t h e m . T h i s c o u l d be t a k e n m u c h further: to a v o i d under-utilisation of large c a p a c i t y v e h i c l e s, w h y n o t m a k e t h e m m u c h smaller, say w i t h o n l y four seats a n d n o straphangers? E v e n t u a l l y , h a v i n g finished contemplating Autotaxis, one would reach the ultimate goal of a u n i f i e d s t a n d a r d p e r s o n a l transport s y s t e m , w i t h a flexible T B S system b e i n g p r o v i d e d b y a n o b s e r v a t i o n satellite. A l l v e h i c l e s w o u l d be a u t o m a t i c a l l y d r i v e n to the

destinations specifed b y t h e user. T h e y w o u l d be c a p a b l e of o p e r a t i n g o v e r railway and standard roadway infrastructures. W i t h p e r s o n a l i s e d transport t a k i n g o v e r o n s u c h a n e n o r m o u s scale, p u b l i c t r a n s p o r t w o u l d die a n instant d e a t h ( h o w e v e r , this w o u l d not n e c e s s a r i l y m e a n m a s s - u n e m p l o y m e n t for t r a i n staff: take c o m p u t e r scientists for e x a m p l e ; t h e y c l a i m that their job specification is that of m a k i n g t h e m s e l v es r e d u n d a n t , b u t the a s c e n d a n c y of the incomprehensibly complex Unix operating s y s t e m m e a n s that t hey a r e l i k e l y to h a v e gainful e m p l o y m e n t for m a n y years to come).

W o u l d a l l this e v e n be necessary? T h e population m a y all e n d up w o r k i n g from h o m e a n d the o n l y i t e m n e e d i n g t r a n s p o r t a t i o n w o u l d be i n f o r m a t i o n . T h e w o r l d m a y b e c o m e full of couch-potatoes f i r m l y r o o t e d i n front of t h e i r t e l e v i s i o n sets (if t e l e v i s i o n is n e e d e d b y that time).

U l t i m a t e l y , the question m a y b o i l d o w n to w h e t h e r t h e i n d u s t r i a l i s e d w o r l d w o u l d like to sit a n d rot, feeding itself o n a s t r e a m of b i n a r y digits, o r w h e t h e r it w o u l d prefer to take b o t h the g o o d a n d the b a d i n life, h a v i n g s o m e t h i n g better to l o o k f o r w a r d to, rather t h a n d y i n g a p r e m a t u r e d e a t h of b o r e d o m , not to mention under-exercise.

I h a v e f o u n d that, despite h a v i n g to e n d u r e d a i l y suffocation, t r a v e l l i n g o n a p u b l i c t r a n s p o r t n e t w o r k forces o n e to a c k n o w l e d g e that o t h e r homo-sapiens are still i n e x i s t e n c e ( w h a t e v e r the situation i n the Gulf crisis m a y be). P u b l i c transport m a y n o t a p p e a l to the e n v i r o n m e n t u n f r i e n d l y business e x e c u t i v e , but it is still of v i t a l i m p o r t a n c e to us lesser m o r t a l s w h o a r e not g r a n t e d p a r k i n g p e r m i t s i n C e n t r a l L o n d o n . M y hope is that future g o v e r n m e n t s w i l l n e v e r neglect this v i t a l s e r v i c e a g a i n , l e a r n i n g the lessons a r i s i n g f r o m t h e excessive frugality of t h e 1980s, the lessons of the worst cases that w e r e p r e v i o u s l y a s s u m e d i m p r o b a b l e ; t h e K i n g ' s C r o s s fire of N o v e m b e r 1987 is a n e x a m p l e that f o r e v e r lingers i n m y m e m o r y , especially since 1 c a n r e m e m b e r r i d i n g o n the s q u e a k i n g escalator, w h e r e the tragedy started, i n the m o r n i n g o n t h e v e r y d a y that the fire o c c u r r e d . It must a l w a y s be r e m e m b e r e d that n o t h i n g is i m p o s s i b l e to i r r e s p o n s i b i l i t y : o n e hopes that the 31 deaths o n that fateful e v e n i n g w e r e not i n vain.

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With Felix and Warner Bros you can.

Win! Win! Win! Y e s ! Y o u too c a n w i n F R E E S T U F F f r o m F e l i x , i n c o n j u n c t i o n w i t h those w o n d e r f u l c u d d l y b o y s a n d girls f r o m W a r n e r B r o t h e r s ! ! (We l o v e t h e m lots a n d lots!).

F e l i x a n d W a r n e r B r o t h e r s are g i v i n g y o u the c h a n c e to w i n n o t one, but t w o , yes T W O v i d e o s , w h i c h w o u l d usual ly stet y o u b a c k n e a r l y a t e n n e r e a c h ! ( R R P ÂŁ9.99). T h e films are L e t h a l W e a p o n 2, a n d Last T a n g o in Paris (if y o u hadn't guessed). T h e r e are three pairs to w i n , so there are three c o m p e t i t i o n s (there's a k i n d of w a r p e d i n t e r n a l l o g i c to it).

The Competitions 1. T o w i n the first y o u h a v e to a n s w e r (correctly) the 8 questions b e l o w . T h e first c o r r e c t e n t r y p u l l e d out of a suitable receptacle w i n s !

Well 'ard!

2. T h e s e c o n d c o m p e t i t i o n is for those of y o u w h o can't a n s w e r a l l the questions.

A l l y o u h a v e to do is w r i t e d o w n either the r e a s o n that y o u c o u l d n ' t a n s w e r the questions, or t h e r e a s o n that y o u deserve to w i n the v i d e o s , i n not m o r e t h a n 300 w o r d s (but it c a n be m u c h s h o r t e r , if y o u r e a l l y want). Best a n s w e r w i n s !

1. W h y d i d Last T a n g o i n Paris cause s u c h a stir w h e n it was r e l e a s e d i n 1972?

2. W h a t actor stars i n it?

3. In w h a t f i l m d i d the actos f r o m q u e s t i o n 2 p l a y the lead role as a maf ia c r i m e boss?

4. A sequel to t h e film f r o m question 3 is b e i n g released e a r l y this y e a r . W h a t is it called?

5. W h o is a " L e t h a l W e a p o n " ?

(The c h a r a c t e r s name) 6. W h a t p i s t o l does he use w h e n not k i l l i n g people w i t h his b a r e hands?

7. W h o co-stars i n b o t h L e t h a l W e a p o n films?

(The actors n a m e ) 8. T h e actor f r o m question 7 stars i n the sequel to a f i l m released i n 1985 w h i c h starred a r a t h e r larger e x - b o d y b u i l d e r .

W h a t is the title of this f i l m , due out this summer?

Well naughty!

3. T h e last c o m p e t i t i o n is for those of y o u w h o can't a n s w e r the questions, or can't be b o t h e r e d to use y o u r i m a g i n a t i o n s , a n d e s p e c i a l l y for a n y b o d y w h o loves k n o c k i n g F e l i x . It's the n e w editor's first issue, a n d he's m a d e s o m e cock-ups (surprise!). A l l y o u h a v e to do is spot as m a n y of these as possible (nottypos), a n d list t h e m . Most spotted w i n s !

Da Rules A n s w e r s must be h a n d e d in at the F e l i x office i n Beit Q u a d or sent to us v i a the i n t e r n a l m a i l s y s t e m , to be r e c e i v e d before 5.30 p m n e x t T u e s d a y . Y o u c a n

enter a n y or a l l of t h e m , b u t y o u c a n o n l y w i n o n c e . A s usual, the editors d e c i s i o n is final, a n d no c o r r e s p o n d e n c e w i l l be e n t e r e d into, e x c e p t to tell the

Crossword Answers W e l l , t h e y ' r e h e r e ! Y e s , the a n s w e r s to (and w i n n e r of) last terms c r o s s w o r d c o m p e t i t i o n ! U n f o r t u n a t e l y , the C h r i m b o g r e m l i n s h a d b e e n at w o r k , a n d there w e r e a c o u p l e of m i s t a k e s . O o o p s . F i r s t l y , there s h o u l d h a v e b e e n a b l a c k square to the i m m e d i a t e b o t t o m left of square 15.

A l s o , o n e of the clues was w r o n g !

Despite this, w e do h a v e a w i n n e r , w h o guessed that there s h o u l d be the aforementioned black square, and c o m p l e t e d the c r o s s w o r d as far as was possible. T h e l u c k y w i n n e r of ÂŁ20 is: J . H A R R I S O N , Info S y s t e m s E n g II W e l l d o n e , a n d c o m e to the office to collect y o u r p r i z e .

w i n n e r s that t h e y ' v e w o n , b l a h , b l a h .

W i n n e r s a n d t h e i r answers w i l l be p r i n t e d next week. G o o d Luck.

C h r i s t m a s issue c r o s s w o r d : S o l u t i o n s A c r o s s : 1. I d i o m . 4. A c c u s e d . 8. Saves. 9.

C o n c o r d . 10. Sue. 11. S u r g e . 12. P e e r a g e .

13. Efts. 14. A c m e . 18. D i a l e c t . 20. N a d i r .

2 1 . A d d . 22. A i r p o r t . 23. I o w a n . 24.

Elected. 25. G o d l y D o w n : 1. Insist. 2. Inverse. 3. M i s s e d the boat. 4. A c c e p t . 5. C o n d e s c e n d i n g . 6.

S t o m a . 7. D o d g e . 15. E n d o w e d . 16.

Stated. 17. F r e n z y . 18. D r a k e . 19. A g r e e .

W e apologise for the e r r o r w h i c h lead to the i n c o r r e c t c l u e b e i n g p r i n t e d for 19 D o w n . It s h o u l d h a v e b e e n ' G i v e consent'.

15

C l u b s & Societies sec Colours A t the S C C m e e t i n g of 10 M a y 1990, the f o l l o w i n g m e m b e r s of S C C clubs w e r e awarded SCC Social Colours: Anti-NUS Art Appreciation Catholic Conservative Environmental & App Tech Pro-Life Science F i c t i o n

J o n a t h a n Griffiths Nicky Fox Kevin Lenton A s h l e y Unitt

Steve E a s t e r b r o o k Dominic O'Kane A m a n d a Baker Alex McLintock D a v i d Bate Y o u t h Peace T h r o u g h N A T O William Huntington-Thresher H o n Junior Teasurer Spenser L a n e H o n Senior Treasurer D r John Cosgrove

Ski Club S E X — h a s n o t h i n g to do w i t h this article, but n o w w e ' v e got y o u r a t t e n t i o n , w e ' d l i k e to say s k i i n g doesn't h a v e m u c h to do w i t h it either. That's if last S a t u r d a y ' s race is a n y t h i n g to go by.

M i n d y o u , w e d i d k e e p casualty busy, w i t h six t h u m b s , four k n e e s , a n e c k , a chest a n d a little finger (and there w e r e o n l y t e n of us!). T h e s e injuries resulted f r o m s e v e r a l spectacular w i p e o u t s , w h i l e the t e a m w e r e w e a r i n g t h e i r b r a n d n e w , b r i g h t p i n k , v e r y p r o m i n a n t , designer sweatshirts.

W e w o n the w o o d e n s p o o n w h i c h K i e r a p r o m p t l y b r o k e w h i l e t r y i n g to b r e a k G a r e t h ' s ribs. B y the e n d of the night e v e n the s p p o n w a s w e a r i n g a b a n d a i d !

P.S. the l s t s c a m e s e v e n t h a n d the 2nds c a m e a n e x t r e m e l y close joint n i n e t e e n t h .

C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s to all of t h e a b o v e , a n d to e v e r y o n e else to h e l p e d S C C to r u n as s m o o t h l y as it d i d this y e a r . G o o d b y e a n d g o o d luck!

Science Fiction ICSF P R E S E N T S T R E M O R S T h i s film is easily the best t e r r e s t r i a l m o n s t e r m o v i e i n the last ten years. G i a n t w o r m s are p i c k i n g off the citizens of a sleepy m i d w e s t t o w n (no, honest) a n d o n l y the l o c a l o d d job duo c a n save t h e m . S t a r r i n g K e v i n Flatliner Bacon and J o h n Henry and June/Dangerous Liaisons M a l c o v i c h the film is f u n n y , e x c i t i n g , scary, r o m a n t i c , o r i g i n a l a n d jolly spiffing all r o u n d .

It o n i n M e c h E n g 220 o n T u e s d a y J a n 15. See W h a t ' s O n page for further details.

Great v a l u e a n d a s t o n k i n g g o o d film.

RCC A n R C C T r e a s u r e r ' s m e e t i n g w i l l n o w be h e l d at 12.30pm o n T h u r s d a y in the Clubs Committee Room.

Labour Club Rocksoc Gig Review 6.12.90 Petroleum Spirit o p e n e d up w e l l , w i t h a c a p t i v a t i n g but a l l too short i n s t r u m e n t a l set, s h o w i n g off the c o n s i d e r a b l e skills of the guitarist a n d bassist i n a v a r i e t y of styles f r o m m o d e r n jazz to speedmetal, t a k i n g o n blues, m a i n s t r e a m m e t a l a n d s o m e folk influences o n t h e w a y . T h e guitarist s o m e t i m e s s o u n d e d l i k e E r i c C l a p t o n one m o m e n t a n d Y i n g w i e of Malmsteen the next. E v e r y p i e c e t o l d a s t o r y o n the e m o t i o n a l l e v e l , w i t h no n e e d for l y r i c s . I h o p e they w i l l be p l a y i n g at IC a g a i n .

Anjels (their s p e l l i n g The Heartbreak not m i ne) b e g a n their act as m u n d a n e s l e e z e m e t a l s i m i l a r to Poison a n d Cinderella.

S o o n after the b e g i n n i n g t h e y p l a y e d a b a l l a d but the singer c o u l d n ' t soften his v o i c e e n o u g h to fit i n w i t h the • m u s i c . T h e y g r a d u a l l y got m o r e l i v e l y as t h e y shifted style t o w a r d s The Clash a n d The Sex Pistols. But o n the w h o l e , a l t h o u g h t hey s e e m e d to h a v e i m p r e s s e d the p e o p l e w h o had c o m e w i t h t h e m , s o m e others w e r e still t a l k i n g about Petroleum Spirit.

16

F o r the first t i m e i n n e a r l y t e n years there is a N a t i o n a l O r g a n i s a t i o n of L a b o u r Students G r o u p at IC. W e h a d o u r first m e e t i n g o n O c t o b e r 30 1990 a n d since t h e n h a v e h a d t w o further meetings. A t o u r last m e e t i n g w e h a d A n n Holmes, Labour's prospective p a r l i a m e n t a r y c a n d i d a t e for K e n s i n g t o n speaking.

O u r m e m b e r s h i p keeps o n g r o w i n g a n d the clubs is g o i n g f r o m s t r e n g t h to strength. F o r n e x t t e r m a bit s o c i a l e v e n t is p l a n n e d , w e a r e o r g a n i s i n g a tour of the Houses of P a r l i a m e n t , a n d w e are e x p e c t i n g a s p e a k e r f r o m L a b o u r ' s front bench.

In the c u r r e n t p o l i t i c a l c l i m a t e , w i t h our e c o n o m y c o n s i d e r e d to be t h e w e a k e s t i n E u r o p e , a n d the recent r e s i g n a t i o n of the longest s e r v i n g P r i m e M i n i s t e r i n this c o u n t r y , t h e r e is m u c h s c o p e for discussion i n t o b o t h r e c t i f y i n g the e c o n o m y a n d getting r i d of the rest of the T o r y g o v e r n m e n t .

A l o n g w i t h the p o l i t i c a l side of the c l u b , there is a s t r o n g social side as w e l l . W e c o n g r e g a t e in the U n i o n S n a c k B a r after e v e r y m e e t i n g for a coffee a n d a chat, a n d w e h a v e frequent to the R e d Rose, a cabaret w i t h a left-wing bias.

A n y o n e interested i n j o i n i n g the c l u b

s h o u l d either contact m e (Raoul M a n s u k h a n i , P h y s i c s 2) v i a the U n d e r g r a d u a t e p i g e o n h o l e s or c o m e to one of our c o m m i t t e e m e e t i n g s held e v e r y T u e s d a y i n the G r e e n C o m m i t t e e R o o m at the top of the U n i o n B u i l d i n g .

Nend-a-Bike

PETER

THOMAS

6 , 1

TD

Scribblers'

Corner LETTERS

Zymurgy Dear Andy, I w o u l d l i k e to point out that m y n a m e is a c t u a l l y E l - K h o l y , not E l - C h o l y , h o w e v e r , c o n s i d e r i n g the l e n g t h of r e p l y to A t h , I a m i n n o p o s i t i o n to c o m p l a i n about a m i n o r t y p o . T h i s is a m u c h s h o r t e r r e p l y , a n d h o p e f u l l y one w h i c h w o u l d spare m e the effort of h a v i n g to address p e o p l e l i k e U l t a n M c C a r t h y o n c e a n d for a l l .

First, in r e p l y to A t h , 1 w a s glad to see that A t h ' s letter c o n t a i n e d s o m e t h i n g l i k e an attempt to address the issue w i t h o u t the usual i n f l a m m a t o r y ' b i g o t e d rantings'.

M y first r e a c t i o n , h o w e v e r w a s not to waste t i m e o n a r e p l y since the a r g u m e n t s p r e s e n t e d w e r e so w e a k as to d e m o n s t r a t e a n almost t o t a l i g n o r a n c e of the situation i n the M i d d l e East. I don't t h i n k that A t h h a d e v e r h e a r d the n a m e S a d d a m H u s s e i n until A u g u s t 2. H a v i n g f o u n d out that A t h are a c t u a l l y t w o n e i g h b o u r s of m i n e i n S o u t h s i d e , I t h i n k m y initial j u d g e m e n t w a s t o t a l l y justified.

A s for M r M c C a r t h y , a n d for a n y o n e else w h o is h a r d of t h i n k i n g , m y r e p l y

W

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A N UP-TO-THE-MINUTE GUIDE TO EVENTS IN A N D A R O U N D IMPERIAL COLLEGE

FRIDAY Hang Gliding 12.30pm Southside Upper Lounge. Come and find out about weekend training. Weekly meeting.

Yacht Club Meeting 12.30pm Huxley 413.

12.40pm Rag Meeting Union Lounge.

Friday Prayers 1.00pm Southside Gym. See Islamic Society.

Rung Fu 4.30pm Union Gym. C.U. Prayer Meeting 5.00pm 413 Maths.

Christian Union Meeting 6.00pm 308 Computing.

Swimming 6.30pm Sports Centre. New members always welcome.

6.40pm Fencing Club Training Club training.

Shaolin System Nam Pai Chuan 7.30pm Southside Gym. Water Polo 7.30pm Sports Centre. Come along and join in.

Southside Disco S.30pm Southside Bar.

SATURDAY Boat Club Putney Boathouse Kung Fu Club

3.00pm 4.30pm

w a s tongue i n c h e e k . I was m e r e l y t r y i n g to p o i n t out that a n y culture c a n be m a d e to l o o k ' i m m a t u r e ' if j u d g e d f r o m a b i a s e d p e r s p e c t i v e . N o t o n c e i n m y letter d i d I d e n y that B r i t a i n has a l o n g history, a n d a c u l t u r e e m u l a t e d the w o r l d o v e r . I a m not so sure if the B r i t i s h c u l t u r e is e n v i e d the w o r l d o v e r . T h e r e are people w h o recognise the a c h i e v e m e n t s of this culture as w e l l as b e i n g able to p o i n t out its s h o r t c o m i n g s . L e t m e also r e m i n d M r M c C a r t h y , that A m e r i c a n c u l t u r e is w i d e l y a d o p t e d the w o r l d o v e r , a n d that this does not m e a n that it is i n a n y w a y s u p e r i o r , or for that m a t t e r e n v i e d .

W h a t M r M c C a r t h y seems to l a c k is the a b i l i t y to l o o k at the h i s t o r y a n d c u l t u r e of n a t i o ns f r o m a factual a n d objective point of v i e w , instead of his n a r r o w , nationalistic a n d b i g o t e d p e r s p e c t i v e .

A s I have no i n t e n t i o n of s t o o p i n g so l o w as to d e v o t e a n y m o r e t i m e to M r M c C a r t h y , let m e state o n c e a n d for a l l , that I a m not a m e m b e r of t h e S a d d a m H u s s e i n F a n C l u b , a n d n e i t h e r are a n y of the students w h o a c t u a l l y k n o w a n y t h i n g

Wu Shu Kwan in Southside Gym.

SUNDAY Sunday Service 10.00am Anteroom Sherfield Building. See West London Chaplaincy.

Catholic Chaplaincy Mass 11.00am 53 Cromwell Road.

Wargames 1.00pm U D H . A l l welcome.

Yoga 10.30am Southside Gym. Kung Fu Club 4.30pm Wu Shu Kwan in the Union G y m .

Catholic Mass 6.00pm 53 Cromwell Road, followed by supper.

Boat Club J9.00pm Putney Boathouse.

MONDAY RockSoc Meeting 12.30pm Southside Upper Lounge. A l l abnormalities welcome.

Basketball Club 5.30pm Volleyball Court. Men's Team.

Keep Fit 5.30pm Southside Gym. Rock 'n' Roll Lessons 6.00pm JCR. Intermediate.

Swimming 6.30pm Sports Centre. New members always welcome.

Rock n Roll 7.00pm JCR. Beginners Water Polo 7.30pm Sports Centre. Come along and try one of the

about the M i d d l e East. M o r e t h a n a n y o n e else, w e k n o w the k i n d of r e p r e s s i o n inflicted b y this m a n o n t h e people of his o w n c o u n t r y . But there is m o r e to life M r M c C a r t h y t h a n a s t u p i d football m a t c h m e t a p h o r , or fan clubs, of w i n n i n g a l o s i n g a g a m e . T h a t is w h y , t h e p e o p l e w h o o p p o s e the p o l i c y of the U n i t e d States a n d a l l o t h e r states w h o take the high moral ground only when convenient, c a n n o t be r e f e r r e d to c o l l e c t i v e l y , i n the best b i g o t e d t r a d i t i o n of o v e r g e n e r a l i s a t i o n , as the S a d d a m H u s s e i n Fan Club. I hope you can understand me M r M c C a r t h y , because, i n case y o u h a v e not r e a l i s e d yet, y o u are n o m o r e t h a n a m i n o r i r r i t a t i o n to p e o p l e w h o are h a v i n g to d e a l w i t h a l e g a c y of d i s r u p t i o n , instability a n d e c o n o m i c a l p o l i t i c a l chaos.

A l e g a c y to w h i c h p e o p l e l i k e yourself, w h e n t h e y h a d the p o w e r to do so, m a d e a major c o n t r i b u t i o n . W e h a v e better things to do t h a n to a n s w e r y o u r letters.

Yours sincerely, Amin El-Kholy, DoC

PG.

most physically demanding sports.

Latin American JCR. Beginners/Improvers

8.00pm

TUESDAY C.U. Prayer Meeting .8.30pm Chaplain's Office Riding Club Meeting 12.30pm Southside Upper Lounge.

Radio Modellers 12.30pm Southside Lounge.

Cathsoc Mass 12.30pm Mech Eng 702. Followed by lunch.

Sailing Club 12.30pm Southside Lounge.

PhotoSoc 1.00pm Southside Lounge. New members to join.

Radio Modellers 3.30pm Student training workshop, Mech Eng. Keep Fit 5.30pm Southside Gym. Amenesty International 3.30pm Clubs Committee Room. Weekly meeting.

Wine Tasting Soc 6.00pm Union Lounge. Weekly meeting.

Improvers Ballroom 6.00pm JCR. Canoe Club 6.15pm Beit Quad store or 8.30pm in Southside Upper Lounge.

Judo 6.30pm Union Gym. ICSF Film 'Tremors' 7.00pm Mech Eng 220. 80p members, S2.00 membership and entry.

17

Zymotic Dear FELIX, S e e i n g the anti-abortion letters i n o u r college m a g a z i n e , I w o n d e r in w h a t spirit the p e o p l e w h o w r o t e t h e m c o n s i d e r e d the issues at stake.

E v e r y p e r s o n has a r i g h t to life a n d a c h a n c e to e n s u r e that t h e i r i n d i v i d u a l needs for a h a p p y life are fulfilled.

U n f o r t u n a t e l y , n a r r o w - m i n d e d soci al attitudes m a k e s i n g l e - p a r e n t h o o d difficult f i n a n c i a l l y a n d s o c i a l l y . T h e c o n c e p t of sin is used to d e g r a d e p e o p l e , foster a n a t m o s p h e r e of prejudice a n d n a r r o w d o w n f r e e d o m of c h o i c e . P e o p l e are a n i m a l s , a n d w e n e e d to be able to enjoy a n i m a l pleasures w i t h o u t fear of e m b a r r a s s m e n t or d e g r e d a t i o n . But p e o p l e aren't just a n y k i n d of a n i m a l . A v e r y h i g h l e v e l of o r g a n i s a t i o n of o u r consciousness confers p e r s o n a l i t y o n us.

Before a c e r t a i n stage, an e m b r y o or foetus doesn't h a v e a n y t h i n g l i k e that.

Sad but true, m a n y w o m e n , for v a r i o u s reasons, r e q u i r e a n a b o r t i o n . In c o u n t r i e s w h e r e this is difficult to get legally, m a n y w o m e n are d r i v e n to i l l e g a l abortions as a last resort, r i s k i n g their o w n lives.

Medals (Ballroom) Class 7.00pm JCR. Yoga 8.00pm Southside Gym. Cricket Nets 3.00pm Lords. Meet at 7.45pm in Mech Eng Foyer.

Must bring whites.

WEDNESDAY Keep Fit 12.30pm Southside Gym. Cycling Training 1.00pm Meet at Beit Arch.

Wargames 1.00pm U D H . A l l welcome.

Micro Club Meeting 1.15pm Top floor NW corner Union Building. Every week.

Kung Fu 1.30pm Union Gym. Rowing Club 2.00pm Putney Boathouse.

Dance Team Practice 3.30pm JCR Ladies Basketball 6.00pm Volleyball Court.

Shaolin System Nam Pai Chuan 7.00pm Southside Gym. Off Beat 7.30pm JCR. Kung Fu Club 7.30pm Union Gym. W u Shu Kwan.

THURSDAY Fencing Training

18

11.30am

Ironically, c a m p a i g n s l i k e 'Pro-Life' are p a r t l y responsible for t h e i r death.

A l l those w r i t i n g against the right to a b o r t i o n have i n v o k e d G o d as the a u t h o r i t y justifying t h e i r case. But if y o u b e l i e v e i n G o d , w h o is r e s p o n s i b l e for miscarriages? S u r e l y , g e n u i n e n a t u r a l m o r a l i t y m a k e s us r e s p o n s i b l e for other

people, not to s o m e abstract c o n c e p t of piety versus s i n . B u t if y o u b e l i e v e that piety is about c a r i n g for others, it c o m e s to the same t h i n g . I hope in the future, w e w i l l m a k e life easier to live, not harder.

Yours sincerely, Jason Pike.

Zymosis Dear Chris, A s M r A B a i l e y is so e n r a p t u r e d w i t h the ' E n g l i s h R a c e ' a n d ' E n g l i s h c u l t u r e ' c a n he please, for the benefit of foreigners, define the w o r d ' E n g l i s h ' . D o e s ' E n g l i s h ' i n c l u d e the D a n e s of A n g l e , the F r e n c h of N o r m a n d y , the G e r m a n s of S a x o n y a n d the D u c h y of O r a n g e , not to m e n t i o n the Italians l e d b y one C i a u s Julius C a e s a r. T h e v e r y w o r d ' E n g l i s h ' is derived from Anglo-Danish. This mongrel b r e e d i n g m a y w e l l have l e d to the c r e a t i o n of an ' E m p i r e ' , i.e. to totally

Intermediate & advanced coaching.

Balloon Club Meeting 12.30pm Southside Upper Lounge.

YHA Meeting 12.30pm Southside Upper Lounge.

Postgrad Lunch 12.30pm Chaplains Office (10 Princes Gardens). See West London Chaplaincy.

Fencing Training 12.30pm Beginners Training.

1.30pm Fencing Training General.

Gliding Club Meeting l.OOpm Aero 266. Come and arrange a trial flight. A l l newcomers welcome.

Keep Fit 5.30pm Southside Gym Midweek Service 3.30pm Chaplains Office (10 Prince's Gardens). See West London Chaplaincy.

6.00pm New Beginners Ballroom JCR. Judo 6.30pm Union Gym. Improvers Ballroom 7.00pm JCR. Intermediate Ballroom 8.00pm JCR. Southside Disco J8.30pm Southside Bar. ICCAG Soup Run 3.15pm Meet Weeks Hall Basement to take food to London's homeless.

ANNOUNCEMENTS • S U B W A R D E N Fisher Hall. December 14.

subjugate a n d h u m i l i a t e cultures m u c h older a n d , dare I say it, w i s e r t h a n 'English'.

S o m e t i m e s 1 w o n d e r at the w i s d o m of m y o w n culture i n e d u c a t i n g the d e n i z e n s of this isle i n t h e arts of w r i t i n g a n d Christianity. F o r t u n a t e l y not all ' E n g l i s h ' p e o p l e are l i k e B a i l e y , s o m e , e v e n those w h o are not C a u c a s i a n , are m o r e civilised.

Slain te, L O'Brien.

Apply to A C C Office, Dept Biology, Dr Murphy.

• F R E E FOOD and accommodation in London for two years. We require help from a lady (18-40) non-smoker to assist in the following.

Bringing children 9 and 14 years old from school at 3.15pm. Feed and sit with children up to 7.00pm. Do some light work. In exchange for the above services, we will give own equipped room and food. If interested please write sending details and photo to Mr & Mrs Rehany, 196 Latymer Court, Hammersmith Road, London W6.

• T O T H E F A K E aran'd, spiky topped, I'm going up the M1 with a loose roof-rack and can I borrow, etc, e t c . ! Bring my pliers back!!!!! Love Andy from FELIX. • BIOSOC meeting, Thursday 17 Jan. Social psychologist from UCL talks on body language.

Free with refreshments.

• S T U D E N T S required for part-time work filing in Residence Finance Office. Please Contact Dave Parry on 8649 or call into 2nd floor, 15 Princes Gardens for further details.

FOR SALE & WANTED • W A N T E D B B C B, BBC+ and disc drive is needed. Ext 6290 (Ali).

• FOR SALE: Citizen 120D dotmatrix printer with printer stand. £80 ono. Phone Steven on 071-370 6067 evenings only.

PERSONAL • ? — S O R R Y about the interuption—perhaps we could resume things sometime—James.

• JAMES: I want your babies—love?

Editorial W e l l . E r r . . H e l l o ! I thought that a manifesto w a s a t o u g h t h i n g to write, but editorials are s o m e t h i n g else! This is the t h i r d t r y, a n d it doesn't s e e m to be g o i n g v e r y w e l l so far. G i v e m e b r e a k , it is m y first o n e !

Firsts S p e a k i n g of firsts, there are a lot of t h e m about (how's that for a tenuous link?). This is the first issue of the year, m y first issue as E d , a n d thus the first set of mistakes for w h i c h I have to take the b l a m e . It's also the first y e a r of the n e w decade, a n d so w h a t does '91 h o l d i n store?

War Y e p , the prospect of S a d d a m 'jolly sane r e a l l y a n d w e b e l i e v e that don't w e ? ' H u s s e i n a c t u a l l y p u l l i n g o u t of K u w a i t seems about as l i k e l y as S i r E r i c A s h s a y i n g ' E x t e n d the college day? N a h , I was o n l y j o k i n g ' . So, despite President Bush's ' h a r d l i n e ' (ie 'pull o u t b y ... or I'll issue a n o t h e r u l t i m a t u m ' ) , it seems that o n J a n u a r y 15th things are g o i n g to start to get nasty. A l t h o u g h w h a t e x a c t l y the a f o r e m e n t i o n e d perfect e x a m p l e of r e a s o n i n g b e h a v i o u r (Hussein, not Bush) hopes to a c h i e v e b y the deaths of thousands of people i n a w a r he has n o c h a n c e of w i n n i n g isn't e x a c t l y c l e a r to me. A n y b o d y w a n t to let m e i n o n the secret?

College Day T h e w o r k i n g p a r t y (possibly o n e of the most i r o n i c n a m e s for a c o m m i t t e e I've e v e r heard) has b e e n o m i n o u s l y silent for quite a w h i l e n o w . It's t e m p t i n g to t h i n k that m a y b e the r e s o u n d i n g ' f * * k o f f g i v e n to t h e m i n the r e f e r e n d u m held before c h r i m b o hols has h a l t e d t h e m i n their tracks. B u t , w i t h college's track r e c o r d for sensible b e h a v i o u r (see the ne w s story about c a l l i n g t h e police), s o m e h o w I d o u b t it. W e l i v e i n hope.

News No, not m o r e things that h a v e h a p p e n e d , but a c r y for help! If y o u ' v e e v e r fancied y o u r s e l f as a w e l l ' a r d investigative journalist, o r e v e n if y o u haven't, but w o u l d just l i k e to help out at F e l i x , t h e n please, p l e a s e , please c o m e i n a n d ask to s p e a k to Chris, T o b y , o r myself. W h a t w e ' r e l o o k i n g for is t w o or three p e o p l e to help out w i t h the news, r e s e a r c h i n g stories b y r i n g i n g p e o p l e u p , that k i n d of t h i n g . Y o u w o n ' t have to w r i t e the stuff if y o u don't w a n t to, a n d y o u w o n ' t h a v e to a c t u a l l y find the stories, as w e ' l l tell y o u w h a t they a r e .

A n y o n e , c o m e i n , see w h a t y o u t h i n k .

(Grovel, grovel).

Stuff A few bits a n d pieces. S o r r y there's n o ' A l l N e w F e l i x ' this w e e k , but he appears to have h a d a n accident o v e r n e w year, i n v o l v i n g a bottle of P o l i s h Pure Spirit, fifteen first y e a r physicists, t w o h a n d grenades, five " p o l i c e m e n, a c o p y of ' T e r m i n a t o r ' , a n d a n a a r d v e r k ( w h i c h is a G e r m a n a a r d v a r k ) . B u t he'll be back.

N e x t w e e k . H o n e s t , guv.

Next a q u i c k . t i p o n w h a t to d o w h e n the siren goes off, a n d y o u n e e d to get out of college q u i c k : R u n .

B y the w a y , just w h o s e idea w a s it to put a n e x c e p t i o n a l l y l o u d siren o n t o p of the Queens T o w e r so that if it e v e r goes off e v e r y b o d y i n a t w o m i l e radius t h i n k s t h e y ' v e got about four m i n u t e s to live?

A n d h o w does the m a n w h o drives the s n o w - p l o u g h get to w o r k i n the m o r n i n g ?

And..

A n y b o d y k n o w a surefire m e t h o d for r e l i e v i n g stress that's free, legal, doesn't i n v o l v e a w i l l i n g m e m b e r of the opposite sex a n d doesn't hurt?

Q u i c k notes o n o u r w o n d e r f u l sabs: S h a n can't do the e n t r a n c e test for the K r y p t o n F a c t o r (spelling his n a m e at the top w a s t r i c k y , a n d after that it a l l went horribly wrong). Another competition:

W h i c h sab is d u e to be n o - c o n f i d e n c e d this t e r m , a n d w h y ? ( A n s w e r s o n a post c a r d to the U n i o n Office). B e n ' s b e e n a bit of a n a u g h t y b o y , but if he buys m e lots of d r i n k s , I won't tell a l l n e x t w e e k .

That's about it, except for: Credits Typesetting and Printing and General S u p e r - H e r o e n e s s : Rose a n d A n d y News E d i t o r a n d W i c k e d B l o k e : T o b y Reviews E d i t o r (aka L a z y Bastard): A d a m T, but as he's o n h o l i d a y s o m e other git d i d it.

M u s i c E d i t o r a n d Pai n In T h e B e h i n d : S a r a h (only joking!)

Features E d i t o r : R o l a n d h e l p e d b y S o m e Other Git Science E d i t o r : Ian Cartoonist: T e m p o r a r i l y indisposed Photo E d i t o r : R i c h a r d (and I w i s h h e ' d find out h o w to get f r o m his n e w flat to the F e l i x office) C o m p u t e r Boff: J a m e s 'if it's got a k e y b o a r d I c a n s c r e w it u p ' G r i n t e r G e n e r a l B o d (at least today): Stef ( w e l c o m e back) The Team: Michael Newman, Ultan McCarthy, Douglas Makhija, Clare P o u l a i n , Seb (cool guy), P i n k y & P e r k y , L i z W . (as ever!), E m i l y (still b u m p i n g it), Sumit, s o m e other b l o k e ( a k a Git) Collators: U t e , T h e S n a i l , C h r i s R i l e y , a n d a l l the b o d s f r o m W L C : A n d y C o o k s l e y , Peter G a r t o n , C a r r i e M i l l e r , L e v Roberts, B e n Irons, J o n B a r k e r . Plus e v e r y b o d y else, n a m e l y t h e p o o r u n c r e d i t e d F e l i x bods.

Felix is produced for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board a n d is printed at the Imperial College Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (Tel 071-225 8672).

Editor: Andrew Butcher, Manager: Chris Stapleton, Business Manager: Jeremy Burnell. Copyright Felix 1991 ISSN 1040-0711.

It's The Arts...

W i t h o n l y t w e l v e days to g o before the l a u n c h of ' T h e A r t s W e e k ' 1991, here at Imperial C o l l e g e , here's a c h a n c e to take a l o o k at the acts w h i c h w i l l be p e r f o r m i n g b e t w e e n W e d n e s d a y 23 or W e d n e s d a y 3 0 J a n u a r y f r o m 12.30pm e v e r y l u n c h t i m e i n the U n i o n L o u n g e .

But first, here's w h a t ' T h e A r t s W e e k ' is all about. ' T h e A r t s W e e k ' is a n a n n u a l festival s p o n s o r e d b y the West L o n d o n C h a p l a i n c y i n c o n j u n c t i o n w i t h IC U n i o n c e l e b r a t i n g the arts i n a l l sorts of styles a n d forms, i n c l u d i n g m u s i c (from r o c k to classical), d r a m a , p a i n t i n g , sculpture, d a n c e , poetry, c o m e d y a n d so m u c h m o r e . T h e s e a r e offered to the students as free l u n c h t i m e gigs i n t h e U n i o n

Lounge during 'The Arts Week'.

This y e a r o u r multi-talented line-up consists of: Fresh Claim: r e g u l a r p e r f o r m e r s at ' T h e F r i n g e ' at the G r e e n b e l t A r t s F e s t i v a l w i t h a light r o c k style, t h e y are r e t u r n i n g this y e a r after p o p u l a r d e m a n d to l a u n c h ' T h e A r t s W e e k ' w i t h a p e r f o r m a n c e a n d to lead a r o c k m u s i c w o r k s h o p o n t h e first Wednesday afternoon (everyone, very w e l c o m e to both).

Trevor Speaks: A n u p a n d c o m i n g s i n g i n g d u o also w i t h a r o c k style.

The Marianne Derbyshire Band: A blues/jazz b a n d w h o h o l d a r e s e m b l a n c e to S u z a n n e V e g a ' s p e r f o r m a n c e styles.

Dusay: A y o u n g r o c k b a n d

r e c o m m e n d e d b y the organisers of the Greenbelt A r t s Festival.

Billy Penn's Brother: A b a n d w i t h a m o r e 'folky' feel to it.

Andy McCullough: T o finish the s p e c t r u m of m u s i c w i t h a classical p e r f o r m a n c e r e v e a l i n g the v e r s a t i l i ty of the clarinet.

Also w e have comedian Paul Cookson, poets Steve T u r n e r (back again after last year's success) a n d Stuart H e n d e r s o n a n d top m i m e artist, Geoffrey S t e v e n s o n .

F o r this e x c i t i n g festival to be a success in this science o r i e n t a t e d college, w e n e e d y o u to t a k e a d v a n t a g e of the free gigs. So please do c o m e a l o n g (with y o u r l u n c h a n d friends) a n d see w h a t y o u think.

19

UNION

Union Page

Women's Officer T h e r e a r e t w o courses b e i n g held at U L U this t e r m s p e c i f i c a l l y a i m e d at w o m e n .

T h e first is a w o m e n ' s assertiveness t r a i n i n g c o u r s e w h i c h , t h r o u g h exercises and d i s c u s s i o n , focuses o n a n u m b e r of issues w h i c h i n c l u d e g e n d e r s t e r e o t y p i n g , l e a r n i n g to s a y N O , a n d c o p i n g w i t h criticism and anger.

T h e s e c o n d is a self-defence course, a g a i n specifically a i m e d at w o m e n , w h i c h i n v o l v e s a m i x t u r e of d i s c u s s i o n b a s e d t h e o r y w o r k a n d p r a c t i c a l self-defence moves. T h e course covers h o w to avoid d a n g e r o u s situations, safety at night a n d o n p u b l i c transport, s e x u a l h a r r a s s m e n t a n d rape.

B o t h courses last eight w e e k s a n d a r e b e i n g h e l d at U L U , M a l e t Street, W C 1 .

T h e cost is o n l y £10, p a y a b l e i n a d v a n c e , for eight t w o h o u r sessions. T h e courses w e r e held last t e r m at U L U a n d p r o v e d v e r y p o p u l a r . I t h i n k that these courses w o u l d p a r t i c u l a r l y benefit w o m e n at this C o l l e g e as m a n y w i l l b e e n t e r i n g a m a l e d o m i n a t e d w o r k p l a c e as w e l l as t h e m a l e majority a l r e a d y at I m p e r i a l . A l s o , y o u m a y n e v e r h a v e t h e o p p o r t u n i t y to a t t e n d s u c h a c o u r s e a g a i n , e s p e c i a l l y at this v e r y s u b s i d i s e d rate.

Assertiveness Training 2.30pm-4.30pm, R o o m 2 C

A p p l i c a t i o n s a n d further i n f o r m a t i o n a r e a v a i l a b l e f r o m t h e U n i o n office.

M a r r i a n n e P u r c e l l , W o m e n ' s Officer.

Self-Defence Classes 6.30pm-8.30pm, R o o m 3 B

Ents Carnival W h a t a t e r m E n t s has l i n e d up for y o u l u c k y people. S o m u c h i n fact that F E L I X is n o t large e n o u g h for m e to tell y o u t h e w h o l e term's w o r t h of events, so I'll just tell y o u about the most i m m e d i a t e Ents events. T h e first is a w e l c o m e b a c k disco tonight. It is free a n d w i l l start at 8 p m .

T h e r e is a late b a r till l a m , a n d e v e r y o n e is w e l c o m e to d a n c e a w a y t h o s e Christmas cobwebs.

But t h e most i m p o r t a n t e v e n t is t h e New Y e a r C a r n i v a l '91 o n J a n u a r y 18 (next Friday). T h i s is a b i g e v e n t occupying the whole U n i o n Building, very s i m i l a r to t h e F r e s h e r s ' W e e k C a r n i v a l s .

T h e m a i n act is Desmond Dekker (of

Of course L i b i d o (the r e g u l a r Ents disco on W e d n e s d a y ) w i l l c o n t i n u e for that elusive m i d w e e k b o o g i e .

B J , Ents C h a i r m a n .

IMPERIAL COLLEGE

Mac operators wanted W e are a small desktop publishing c o m p a n y i n Central London, producing technical illustrations for magazine a n d b o o k publishers. Almost all o f our work is done using Adobe Illustrator® 3.0 o n A p p l e Macintosh® computers. Due to increasing demand w e may need freelance Mac operators to do work o n a contract basis using their o w n machines. Reliability and meticulous attention to detail is absolutely essential.

We also produce high quality typeset material by converting files produced in popular w o r d processing packages into the 'TpX' typesetting language (Textures o n the Macintosh) and then writing the format in TgX. W e may also need help in this area.

If y o u think you may be interested in w o r k i n g with us in the areas mentioned above, or if y o u have any questions, please feel free to call us o n 071 2 2 9 0107—there's n o harm in calling! W e look forward to hearing from y o u .

'Israelites' f a m e f r o m m a n y T V ads). A l s o on t h e bill is Sax Appeal, The Love Kittens a n d b y s p e c i a l a r r a n g e m e n t w e have m a n a g e d to secure a s e c o n d date w i t h t o p m o p t o p s Boy, Girl Soup.

C o c k t a i l s , a late bar, b u r g e r s a n d casino w i l l all b e i n full effect to e n s u r e a great evening's entertainment. Tickets are o n sale n o w f r o m t h e U n i o n Office a n d cost £3.50 i n a d v a n c e . G e t y o u r s s o o n to a v o i d d i s a p p o i n t m e n t . M o r e details w i l l follow n e x t w e e k .

Careers Fair Manager 1991 T h e successful a p p l i c a n t w i l l be r e s p o n s i b l e for the organisation

and marketing

of

the

1991 F a i r .

H e / S h e w i l l p r o d u c e l i t e r a t ure to advertise the event, m a k e a r r a n g e m e n t s for the v e n u e a n d set up the Fair, a n d w i l l be responsible for the financial m a n a g e m e n t of the e v e n t , w h i c h has a t u r n o v e r of o v e r £100,000.

E x p e r i e n c e of s u p e r v i s i n g a n d o r g a n i s i n g others, a n d the c o n f i d e n c e to deal w i t h large c o r p o r a t i o n s will prove invaluable.

S a l a r y £200.00 p e r w e e k T o w o r k for up to t e n w e e k s d u r i n g the Easter a n d S u m m e r v a c a t i o n s , for t h e d u r a t i o n of the F a i r a n d other necessary p r e p a r a t o r y w o r k .

For

further

details,

contact

Benjamin

Turner,

Imperial C o l l e g e U n i o n o n 0 7 1 - 2 2 5 8 6 7 0 e x t 3 5 0 2