The Imperial College Careers Fair a 'clearly
well
planned' An
success
estimated
attended
5,500
this y e a r ' s
students
careers
fair
a c c o r d i n g to its manager, J e r e m y Burnell.
About
70
companies
attended the fair w h i c h was held in a
marquee
last
Tuesday
W e d n e s d a y o n the Q u e e n ' s
and Lawn.
M r B u r n e l l expressed his o p i n i o n that the c o m p a n i e s were actually recruiting rather than simply g i v i n g a public relations display. H e added that in his v i e w 'the fair was
far
superior to last y e a r ' w h e n there was
a
large
amount
of
disorganisation preceding the event. The
representative
for
Holbein Slammed
Price
Waterhouse commented that the fair was 'clearly w e l l p l a n n e d ' . Procter and G a m b l e said that it was a ' w e l l
h u m o u r and the ability to look one
Occupants o f H o l b e i n House
organised e v e n t ' and M a r k E m e r y
in the e y e ' while B i l l
Henderson
c o m p l a i n i n g o f its state o f repair.
can be used. H e said that w o r k m e n
o f R o l l s R o y c e c l a i m e d that the
f r o m Albright and W i l s o n L t d . said
T h e y say that desks a n d chairs are
closed a shower last week, but have since made no attempt to w o r k o n it.
w hole show was
' v e r y busy
and
are
has been closed so the shower above
that 'most students were average;
wobbly and falling apart, wallpaper
very i m p r e s s i v e ' . British T e l e c o m ,
there
outstanding
is peeling off the walls, study lamps
who are presently seeking to recruit
ones.' M a n y companies, including
are b r o k e n and wardrobe doors fall
non-functional
about 500 graduates, described the
National
off.
Greenwood
students
attending
'above
as
average' while H a r b i n d e r D h a l i w a l
weren't
many
Physical
Laboratories,
said that they were
'looking
for
s o m e b o d y with a-bit o f s p a r k ' .
o f L o g i c a said that 'the standard o f
Bill
students is v e r y , v e r y h i g h . . . they
Careers
are o f a v e r y h i g h c a l i b r e ' .
that despite the recession and the
added
that o f the
She
139 graduates
F o x o f Imperial Advisory
lower
number
College's
Service of
stated
A
H o l b e i n postgraduate
told
T h e H a l l has four ovens and a microwave. said
that
Mr three
F e l i x that ' w e are expected to l i v e
microwaves
like squatters'. Jeremy G r e e n w o o d ,
start o f term with a p r o m i s e f r o m
were o r d e r e d
at the
a sub w a r d e n in H o l b e i n , said that
C o l l e g e Estates to supply them in
the conditions m a k e studying v e r y
a
difficult.
Residences
companies
Sixty students l i v e i n H o l b e i n ,
week.
Mr
Graham
Daniels,
Manager
Area
told
F e l i x that a single m i c r o w a v e and
recruited last year, 20 were taken
attending in c o m p a r i s o n with the
f r o m Imperial C o l l e g e , w h i c h was
last
more than any other establishment,
companies
few
including many mature students and
including
m o r e vacancies than last y e a r ' . H e
postgraduates. T h e C o l l e g e plans to
sized rooms in E v e l y n Gardens. M r
added
for
close the H a l l at Easter until next
Greenwood
and p h y s i c a l science
session for renovation. T h e warden
anyone for c o m p l a i n i n g ' as the H a l l
King's
Oxford,
College
Cambridge,
and
University
College.
fair,
offering
that
engineering
S o m e c o m p a n i e s ' representatives expressed
disappointment
students.
Among
with
students
were
there
the
were
some
'quite a
prospects 'a
little
more
optimistic than I e x p e c t e d ' and that
w h i c h is a C o l l e g e o w n e d student residence
of
in
Holbein,
Evelyn
Dr
a fridge a r r i v e d yesterday.
Gardens,
Toumazou,
was
H o l b e i n residents pay
ÂŁ40
per
week, the same as other s i m i l a r l y
is
said
'generally
T
don't
shabby'
blame
and
Mr
unavailable for c o m m e n t , but M r
D a n i e l s said that he is c o n s i d e r i n g
were
v e r y few students f r o m outside the
G r e e n w o o d informed F e l i x that two
Holbein
B a n q u e Indosuez who felt students
college attended the fair. M r . F o x
o f the
initiating a project to 'rectify major
order because they leak into the
these
l a c k e d personality w h e n c o m p a r e d
claimed
difference between a student f r o m
rooms
described the graduates that they
outside
I.C.
reported to C o l l e g e at the start o f
were
looking
for
as
personality,
a
he
could
the c o l l e g e
'tell
and an
the
showers were out o f
to last years eager j o b hunters. T h e y
pleasing
that
five
below.
O n e o f these
was
faults College
a in
priority showers'
and
will
be
throughout
but admitted that
'faults
cannot be rectified o v e r n i g h t ' . H e
having
'a
student by their hair and clothes, or
the summer and the other at the start
p r o m i s e d to deliver new appliances
sense
of
rather lack o f . '
o f t e r m . O n e o f the r o o m s b e l o w
h i m s e l f as staff were unavailable.
18 October 1991
Felix 913
What's On A n up-to-the-minute guide to events
W u Shu Kwan in the Union G y m .
SEDS
Aero 266.
in
Catholic Mass
Elec Eng 408. D r Bill Thornton,
Fitness Club
and a r o u n d Imperial
T h e deadline
College.
for entries for this
page is 1 2 . 3 0 p m the M o n d a y p r i o r to p u b l i c a t i o n .
FRIDAY Hang Gliding
53 Cromwell Road.
MONDAY RockSoc Meeting
N A S A astronaut.
Southside G y m . Advanced.
Judo
Midweek Service
Union G y m .
Chaplains Office (10 Prince's
Frankenstein Unbound
Gardens).
Southside Upper Lounge.
Mech Eng 220. Organised by I C S F .
New Beginners Ballroom....
Physics Dinner
Rubbercap coming soon.
JCR.
Southside Upper Lounge.
£10.00
Ballroom Bronze Medal
The Grifters
Conservative Soc
Basketball Club
JCR.
M e c h Eng 220. Organised by
Physics 737.
Postponed until volleyball court
Grease Rehearsals
FilmSoc.
Rag Meeting
reopened. Men's Team.
Room 308, Huxley Building
Improvers Ballroom
Union Lounge. Everyone welcome.
Fitness Club
(terminal room A).
JCR.
3rd World 1st Meeting
Southside G y m . Beginners.
Caving Club Meeting
Southside Upper Lounge.
Intermediate Rock V
Southside Upper Lounge.
Real Meeting
Friday Prayers
JCR.
Southside G y m . See Islamic Society.
Afro-Carib Meeting
WEDNESDAY
IC Shotokan Karate...
Kung Fu
Conceit Hall.
Union G y m .
Swimming
Roll
Fitness Club .Southside G y m . Intermediate.
Union Lounge. Lots of good Southside G y m .
Intermediate Ballroom
C.U. Prayer Meeting
Sports Centre.
413 Maths.
Beginners Rock V
Speaker Meeting
JCR.
Cycling Training
Southside Bar.
ME
ULU Swimming Team Trials
Meet at Beit A r c h .
I C C A G Soup Run
Wargames
Meet Weeks Hall Basement.
220. How to cope with your
supervisor.
Roll
ooze.
Bike Club
JCR.
Southside Lounge.
Southside Disco,
Christian Union Meeting
Freshers trials at U L U , Malet Street
UDH.
pool.
Micro Club Meeting
308 Computing.
IC Shotokan Karate
Top floor N W corner Union
• C H E A P c l i m b i n g at M i l e E n d .
Swimming
Southside G y m .
Building.
A n y o n e interested i n b e c o m i n g
Sports Centre.
Water Polo
Kung Fu
member
Fencing Club Training
Sports Centre.
Union G y m .
Wall,
Club training.
Latin American
Ten Pin Bowling
c l i m b i n g (£1 per session). T h e cost
Shaolin System Nam Pai Chuan
JCR.
Meet Aero Eng Foyer.
of
DramSoc Improv Class
Sherfold with S & G every lunchtime
A l l welcome.
Small A d s of
Mile
End
a
Climbing
entitling y o u to h a l f p r i c e
m e m b e r s h i p is £ 6 — S e e O l i v e r
Southside G y m .
TUESDAY
Union S C R (old Union Office).
in
Water Polo
C.U. Prayer Meeting
Professional tuition.
contact
Sports Centre.
Chaplain's Office
Diving
pigeonholes.
Spitfire
Chemistry Dinner
Swimming Pool.
October 25.
Shaolin System Nam Pai Chuan
a malt whisky society please contact M i c h a e l H a d w i n , L i n s t e a d x 3644.
Southside
Upper
him
via
Lounge Mech
or Eng
O f f e r closes F r i d a y ,
• A N Y O N E interested i n f o r m i n g
Union Lounge G i g . £2.50 adv, £3 on
£12
door.
3rd World 1st Stall
Southside Disco
JCR.
Southside G y m .
Southside Bar.
SplotSoc Meeting
Basketball Club
• C H A M P A G N E ! W i n a bottle b y
Southside Upper Lounge.
Postponed until volleyball court
d o i n g the U R O P q u i z . C o p i e s f r o m
SATURDAY
Riding Club Meeting
reopened,-
the U R O P office, r o o m 3 1 3 C M e c h
Kung Fu Club
Southside Upper Lounge.
Kung Fu Club
Eng.
W u Shu Kwan in Southside G y m .
Christian Outreach
Union G y m . W u Shu Kwan.
• FORD
Great Sightseeing Challenge
Elec Eng 403B
Christian Outreach
d o o r v e r y g o o d c o n d i t i o n . 1 year
Boardsailing
M e c h Eng 702.
MOT.
Meet Beit Quad for a full fun day.
Southside Upper Lounge.
Libido
N a h e e d B i o c h e m 3.
Ents Club Night in Union Lounge.
Deadline:
dawn,
ESCORT Under
Oct
1300.
£1200.
28.
Three
Contact
IC Shotokan Karate
AudioSoc
Southside G y m .
S.C.R.
IC Radio 999Am
Radio Modellers
THURSDAY
Robin Griffith.
Southside Lounge.
Fencing Training
• SINGLE
Ladies Tennis
Cathsoc Mass
Intermediate & advanced coaching.
house share with five undergrads in
At college courts. Membership £6.
Mech Eng 702. Followed by lunch.
Balloon Club Meeting
Kensal
A l l new members welcome.
Sailing Club
Southside Upper Lounge.
exclusive. Phone 081-969 7322.
IC Radio 999AM
Southside Lounge.
YHA
Tom
PhotoSoc
Southside Upper Lounge.
Cycling Club
Southside Lounge.
Postgrad Lunch
• L A U G H T E R is guaranteed at the
Meet at Beit A r c h .
Ents Meeting
Chaplains Office (10 Princes
C a r e e r s T a l k this c o m i n g w e e k in
Cunnington.
SUNDAY
Union Lounge.
Careers Talk...
v
Meeting
• SPECIALISED
Rockhopper
mountainbike. £100 ono. Contact C T o o m b s , M e c h E n g 3. Room
Green.
available
£53
per
in
week
Careers Information
Gardens).
LT213
Fencing Training
Tuesday
Huxley 22
at
1.30-2.20pm,
October.
The
West London Chaplaincy Sunday Service
The Application Game and How to
Beginners Training.
A p p l i c a t i o n G a m e and H o w to L o s e
Lose it!
Anteroom Sherfield Building.
Radio Modellers
S & G - T h e Outdoor Club
Recruitment
Men's Tennis Team Practise
Mech Eng.
Mines room B303.
considers some o f the
Fitness Club
3rd World 1st
c o m m o n l y adopted by finalists to
College Courts. Players of any
Southside G y m . Intermediate.
Clubs Committee Room. Speaker
the j o b - s e e k i n g process. H i s talk is
ability. Annual membership £6. New
Amenesty International
'Paul Dawyer' from W D M .
illustrated
members
Clubs Committee Room.
IC Labour Club
examples.
Wine Tasting Soc
Brown Committee Room (Union).
Graduate R e c r u i t m e n t P r o g r a m m e
welcome.
Catholic Chaplaincy Mass.JT.00am
it.
Brian Hyde,
former
Manager
with
Graduate for
appropriate
REMINDER:
details
of
IBM,
approaches
See
the
53 Cromwell Road.
Union Dining Hall.
'Investing in the Future'.
for
Wargames
Improvers Ballroom
Yacht Club
Presentations
UDH.
JCR.
Aero 253.
W A R N I N G : F e w e r vacancies are
Fitness Club
Canoe Club
Fencing Training
expected i n 1992 i n m a n y
Intermediate.
Beit Quad store or 8.30pm in
General.
o f the e c o n o m y . A p p l y early.
Kung Fu Club
Southside Upper Lounge.
Gliding Club Meeting
for
Employer finalists. sectors
Felix 913
18 October 1991
Felix
M o n e y Ideas Interviews for student loans began
must b r i n g with them c o n f i r m a t i o n
on M o n d a y October 7th and will be
of
available f r o m
f r o m last year.
11am to
12.45pm
and f r o m 2 . 1 5 p m to 3 . 4 5 p m Mondays,
Tuesdays
on
their loan
certificate
number
T . Cullen, Assistant Registrar.
and
Wednesdays. T o be eligible for a student l o a n , the
applicant
student, i
must
on
home
T h e Phoenix is a legendary A r a b i a n
full-time
b i r d w h i c h w o u l d arise anew f r o m
be
a
a
undergraduate course and be aged
its o w n ashes; it is also the name o f
less
the Imperial C o l l e g e arts magazine.
than fifty
when
the
course
T h e P h o e n i x o f legend was reborn
began. Applicants
should
book
an
every
five
hundred
years;
the
appointment in R o o m 344 o f the
P h o e n i x o f I . C . appeared a little -
Sherfield B u i l d i n g . T h e interview
but o n l y a little - m o r e often. E a c h
w i l l be held in r o o m 3 4 6 , at w h i c h
o f these wonderful creatures w o u l d
they
be reborn amidst a tempest o f glory
should b r i n g
their birth o r
adoption certificate, i f b o r n in the UK,
or
passport
A l l v e r y poetical but w h y a m I
without. A l l applicants must also
telling y o u this? W e l l the P h o e n i x
b r i n g a letter o f advice f r o m the
is about to arise once m o r e .
(Local
Area
if
and rapture.
born
LEA
their
Authority)
confirming a mandatory award, and details o f the bank which
the
account into
is to be
mesmerising
retiring bei ng w h i c h is rarely seen. Indeed, the last sighting was some
creativity;
account number and sort code. T h e
two years ago. H o w e v e r , now it is
poems
must be
able
paid
its
-
account
loan
Despite
emergence, the Phoenix is a shy and
to
accept
about
to be
r e b o r n and it needs
stories,
and
desperately
direct debits and electronic bank
people who will nurture it and assist
certain
transfers.
in its development.
assistance.
In addition, those students
who
took out a loan d u r i n g (1990/91)
In short, the
photographs,
illustrations
sought
amount
looks great on your C . V . ) . So i f y o u are a b u d d i n g Betjeman, B a i l e y or
a
Beckett then y o u c o u l d d o a lot
practical
worse than to pop y o u r material in
along of
are
with
( F o r those o f a
more
the F e l i x office pigeon holes (under
P h o e n i x is offering y o u a stage o n
m e r c e n a r y disposition then be i ng a
Phoenix, if y o u please...) or see m y
which
contributor to the college arts m a g
goodself,
for me to m a k e the inner system's
forests and mountains. Stress stared
first alien c o n t a c t . '
in w o n d e r .
to
express
your
artistic
The Inner System
'Alien?'
' T h i s is a beautiful place to l i v e . '
' O h , I'm
s o r r y , m e m b e r o f an
alternative
2. Destruction. The second chapter by Troy Tempest.
style
of
physical
existence.' H e beamed
confidence.
our
consultancy
' O h we d o n ' t l i v e o n the surface. Horrible place,
animals,
rain.
in
We
live
a
insects,
far
better
environment.
' F r o m y o u r m e l l o w attitude I can call
Phillip Henry
companies'
T h e ship cl ea red a final range o f mountains and headed towards the
The ship screamed out of a rip in
a friendly, low key pastel light lifted
approach to alien contact a complete
massive
space
h i m up into the belly o f an a i r l o c k
success. D e - e m p h a s i s i n g the c o l d
Stress
It
had
underneath the sexy craft. T h e noise
blue rays, smoke and strange forms
finished o n the forest and was
now
into the atmosphere
o f an
alien planet.
mechanical had
seen
lizard
earlier.
that
and Stress's libido was so great that
w h i c h are such stress heighteners
sucking up a lake. A s their v e h i c l e
o f a chance o f h e a v e n by a freak
he had
and replacing them with P A M had
drew nearer it turned its head and
hole
burning
c o n s u m i n g passion for the metal
done its j o b with sweet s u c c e s s . '
stared at t h e m .
atmosphere r i p p e d away the s h i p ' s
flying craft that had enveloped h i m .
Stress almost c r i e d . T o be robbed in
reality.
The
outer shell before he had a chance
absolutely
Once
inside
no fear,
the
noise
only
settled
'Who's pam?'
' T h e inner s y s t e m ! '
' P o s i t i v e attraction m e c h a n i s m s .
T h e wrought i r o n reptile broke
o f p u l l i n g away. H e carreered over
d o w n to a m o r e comfortable h u m .
T h e a r r i v a l o f this v e h i c l e caused
mountains, lakes and a m i l e h i g h
Before h i m was a s p a c i o u s c o c k p i t
positive e m o t i o n a l feedback d i d it
'Stage one e n t r y ! '
m e c h a n i c a l l i z a r d eating a
stuffed
not?'
The
forest
before a crashlanding in a meadow .
with expensive
gadgets,
electronic
computers,
screens,
Stress was
embarrassed.
k e y b o a r d set in an a d m i r i n g c i r c l e
' Y o u see, w e ' v e developed at our
the
around a central seat. T h e object o f
agency special apparatus that can be
grass he noticed a slowly increasing
their gaze was a m a n so clean and
fitted to cars that w i l l focus
hum
i m m a c u l a t e that he l o o k e d like he
amplify
crawling,,
out
of
and c o l l a p s i n g
and
more
on
inexplicably
a
natural
sexual
lips
slowly
separated
to
reveal pearly flawless teeth.
the
After wreckage
into a lazy g r i n .
'Stage two e n t r y ! ' T h e ivory smile held for a second
and
and then the teeth s l o w l y parted to
attraction
reveal a red cavern. M a s s i v e molars
g r o w i n g sexual excitement. A s the
had just been unwrapped along with
waves. Regulations m e a n that we
m a r c h e d back into darkness w h i l e
h u m increased to a groan he noticed
the rest o f the hardware. T h e one
must
c o l o u r e d lights ran d o w n
an object
surprise was
attempt
in the distance
slowly
increase in size, a p p r o a c h i n g h i m
Stress
g l e a m i n g s m i l e d i d n ' t have upper
Amid
the
s c r e a m i n g noise, resolved
now
into a
perfect
teeth
faced
through
the air.
the
that w h e n he
of
his
case letters o n t h e m .
make at
some a
superfluous
practical use,
like
a e r o d y n a m i c s , but the real use is
' A n d now stage three e n t r y ! '
heightening
S l o w l y , c o n f i d e n t l y , the scarlet
magnetism.
the
vehicles
With
pheromone
screams
Stress
H e s m i l e d again, spelling relax.
covers and the front w i n d o w any
quickening
watched the object take shape with
Stress felt no anger, confusion o r
hostility o n the part o f the target
floated
group is soon e v a p o r a t e d . '
tongue.
voices,
open lust. It was a wedge shaped
fear. H e w a l k e d hesitantly towards
flying craft b i g enough for a couple
the altar. T h e pilot b e a m e d d o w n at
of
him.
occupants
with
several
odd
attachments. A s it hovered over h i m
'I must say this is a great h o n o u r
on
the
seat
slab extended from the open mouth,
' H e l l o there!'
sexy
emitters
special
t h u m p i n g drumbeat iced o v e r with and
a ruby
tongue.
A s the P R creature talked and
the
lights down
them
minimally
closed.
—3—
p a m oyer.
The
recognition
Stress stared b l a n k l y the craft flew assisted by
along
into
its
their pace. and grin
and its
length
The
ship
settled o n the widened
the l i z a r d
mouth.
The
in
drew jaws
8
x
n
The Farrant Guide t o Union Events Events Every
can be obtained f r o m the relevant
second
Wednesday,
the
L o u n g e B a r hosts a bar quiz (which
exec
knowledge
quizzes
with
alcoholic prizes and a chance to take part
i n the ' w i n n e r s '
quiz
near
Office
b y the time papers are taken d o w n then nominations are open f r o m the
pigeonholes.
started last W e d n e s d a y ) . T h e s e are general
v i a the U n i o n
bar tends to work). If nobody stands
T h e r e are six other posts, elected
at the U G M .
floor
T h e posts
at the U n i o n G e n e r a l M e e t i n g o n
available are: 2 first year reps to
N o v e m b e r 7. N o m i n a t i o n papers go
Council,
up
Postgraduate
o n the noticeboard
Easter. T h e next one is in W e l f a r e
staircase,
Week,
1 level
(East
up, Union
Women's
Officer,
Affairs
Officer,
B u i l d i n g ) o n M o n d a y at 9 . 3 0 a m .
necessary) and T r a n s p o r t O f f i c e r .
They
o n F r i d a y 1st
If these names d o n ' t mean anything
be healthier and hopefully s u r v i v e
November
at 5 . 3 0 p m . T h e basic
to y o u , p o p into the U n i o n O f f i c e
a few years here.
idea is i f y o u w i s h to stand then put
and grab a sabbatical
y o u r name up a n d get p r o p o s e d by
what the j o b s are about.
ation D a y . A l l last y e a r ' s graduates
someone. T h e n find ten people to
return w i t h their g o w n s to p i c k up
second y o u (nagging people i n the
Steve Farrant, I C U H o n Sec (Events).
you'll
Next Thursday
be able to
is C o m m e m o r -
come down
to e x p l a i n
bits o f paper f r o m the A l b e r t H a l l . T h e r e are a few g o o d points to this, firstly y o u get to see how stupid y o u c o u l d l o o k i n three o r four
years
t i m e . S e c o n d l y , e v e r y o n e gets the afternoon
Come to lunch on Monday 21st October i n the U n i o n Lounge for a chat.
P u b l i c i t y O f f i c e r (artistic flair not
spend five days f i ndi ng out h o w to
where
MATURE STUDENTS
o f f a n d f i n a l l y the
Ents Dudes
c o m m e m o r a t i o n ball d i s c o is i n the
G i r d y o u r loins k i d s — t h e hottest in
e v e n i n g . T h i s goes f r o m m i d n i g h t
indie
until 3 . 3 0 a m with a bar until 2 a m .
Lounge.
T i c k e t s are £2 and available f r o m
the subject
is c o m i n g
to
Your
T a k i n g a break f r o m their support
the U n i o n O f f i c e o n M o n d a y . On
rock
slot o n tour with the m i g h t y guitar-wielding,
o f discos, i f
play tonight i n the U n i o n
anyone wants a cheap but excellent
Spitfire
d i s c o contact D o m i n i c and the E n t s
Lounge,
kiddies v i a the U n i o n O f f i c e . T h e i r
deliciously named
Spitfire
events, w h i c h w i l l be p u b l i c i s e d as
Blur,
groovy-types
ably
supported
b y the
Herb.
are one o f the top new
bands o n the indie c i r c u i t , boasting
soon as t h e y ' r e sorted out, are j a z z nights and p i a n o nights i n the b a r
a c o u p l e o f h i g h f l y i n g E P s and a
and lounge bar, c o c k t a i l nights and
cult f o l l o w i n g . P i c k up an advance
happy hours.
ticket
Elections
(£2.50) or pay o n the d o o r ( £ 3 . 0 0 ) .
B e i n g a students' u n i o n , w e have lots o f o f f i c e r ' s posts. T h e s e are filled
b y students
something
and give y o u
to w h i l e
away
those
hours and get some C V points as well.
T h e following
posts a r e
presently vacant and w i l l be filled
Presidential Stuff 1. L e c t u r e r E v a l u a t i o n
University
h o l d i n g a sleepout o n H a l l o w e ' e n
Recreational
lecturer evaluation questionnaire.
(31
of London
O c t o b e r ) to attempt to raise
Clubs Committee Chair, Publica-
A n y comments should be addressed
awareness
to y o u r D e p a r t m e n t a l R e p o r me i f
situation students in L o n d o n are i n .
Station M a n a g e r .
y o u d o n ' t k n o w w h o it is.
M o r e info o n this next week.
2.
FULL SCC MEETING October 21st 6.00pm Ents Lounge A l l chairpersons and treasurers advised to attend.
' H o w to c o p e
with
your
the
impossible
supervisor'
T h e r e is currently a v a c a n c y for a
T h i s is a s e m i n a r g i v e n b y S i r E r i c
Union
A s h and D r D a v i d P h i l l i p s i n order
duties w o u l d be to l o o k after the
Officer
who's
for them to give y o u an idea o f how
vans
y o u should d e v e l o p and nurse the
t h e y ' r e a l l fully w o r k i n g and get
o n a weekly
basis,
ensure
relationship with y o u r supervisor.
them fixed i f t h e y ' r e not. In return
T h e r e w i l l be a question time at the
the officer w i l l get free use o f the
end a n d also plenty o f t i me f o r
vans p r o v i d i n g they are available.
students to give their side o f the
If y o u ' r e interested c o m e and have
story. T u r n u p early,
a chat.
it m a y be
busy. 5. P a r k i n g Permits 3. U L U H a l l o w e ' e n
T h o s e who were allocated a parking
Sleepout
If the withdrawal o f student benefits
permit i n last w e e k ' s F e l i x : i f y o u
has affected y o u adversely o r y o u
h a v e n ' t p i c k e d u p the permit b y
think it's l i k e l y to then y o u should
5 . 0 0 p m today the the allocation w i l l
make
your
feelings
felt. T h e
be r e m o v e d .
— 4—
ROYAL COLLEGE OF SCIENCE ASSOCIATION
CAREERS FORUM 6.30pm Tuesday 22nd October
4. F r e e use o f vans Transport
pot o f
out a seething
U n i o n is
tions B o a r d C h a i r a n d I C R a d i o F u r t h e r details
Strobes
pumping
Ents s a y — h o t b a b v .
W e are l o o k i n g at the format o f the
of
d i s c o , with D J M a r j o r i e
g r o o v e s and rug-cutting v i b e s .
Clubs
Chair,
Office
£1.50 to E n t s ca rd holders. Besides
committees: Committee
the U n i o n
the five bands y o u get a late bar and
through elections at the respective Athletics
from
Senior C o m m o n R o o m Sherfield An ideal opportunity to meet people from a broad spectrum of the industrial, commercial and managerial world, able to offer objective advice regarding jobs, careers and prospects in your particular field. An informal buffet supper will be served, at a cost of £3.00 and a cash bar will be available. Bookings should be made at the Old Students' Association Office, Room 301, Sherfield, as soon as possible.
Clubs & Societies
Felix 913
18 October 1991
Grease —Opsoc & Dramsoc
Filmsoc
Frankenstein
is a hard boiled thriller
The Grifters
Joe
Bodenland,
a
twenty-first
starring A n g e l i c a H u s t o n and J o h n
century A m e r i c a n , passes through
October
C u s a c k , and p r o d u c e d by M a r t i n
a ' t i m e s h i p ' and finds h i m s e l f with
f r o m 7 . 0 0 - 1 0 . 3 0 p m and Saturday
Scorsese. In a nutshell, it depicts a
B y r o n and Shelley in the
the Great H a l l f r o m January 28 to
26 f r o m 1 l a m to 6 p m , probably in
group o f c o n m e n and w o m e n and
v i l l a o n the shore o f L a k e G e n e v a .
February
r o o m 308 in the H u x l e y b u i l d i n g .
their lifestyle o f l y i n g cheating and
Having
stealing. It's a f i l m o f c r i m e , sex
h i m s e l f face
Opsoc
and
Dramsoc
are j o i n t l y
staging a p r o d u c t i o n o f Grease 1
next
year.
in
This
promises to be one o f the biggest events
of
college.
its k i n d
We
ensure
need
that the
need
a
On
the technical side, we
are
done
this he
then
to face
seen
in
g o i n g to need a lot o f help w i t h set
and passion s k i l l f u l l y written and
Frankenstein,
help
to
building
directed
inhabiting a c o m p l e x w o r l d where
production
big
cast
principals and chorus).
is
a
(both
Rehearsals
this term)
and
by
Stephen
lights and sound next term. W e will
Dangerous
also need backstage help d u r i n g the
Grifters
p r o d u c t i o n with costumes,
220 at 7 . 3 0 p m
make-
Frears, fame.
Liaisons
of The
will be shown in M e c h E n g on Thursday
24
fact and fiction m a y as easily have congress manages
as
Bodenland
to m a k e
l o ve
himself to
once and apparently
evenings at 7 . 3 0 p m in r o o m 308 in
people
the
escapes me at the moment).
Huxley
Building.
these
are
At
just
the sing-
throughs with the score so everyone
SEDS and Astronaut
quite a
it, though
and c o m e see what the film is about Astronaut D r B i l l T h o r n t o n w i l l be
just two years later, again
already! W e are h o p i n g not to have
speaking o n T u e s d a y O c t o b e r 22 at
challenger for the third shuttle—
to audition chorus m e m b e r s but for
6 . 3 0 p m in E l e c E n g 4 0 8 .
spacelab m i s s i o n
aboard
(why life,
(STS-51-B).
D r T h r o n t o n has f l o w n o n two
T h o r n t o n w i l l be d i s c u s s i n g his
not?
shuttle missions d u r i n g his career.
experiences in space: T h e effects o f
only
O r i g i n a l l y selected as an astronaut
space
member
know
book
human
body
(Dr
costs
£2.50
to
become
an
in the late 1960s, he first flew in
T h o r n t o n is a m e d i c a l doctor); his
y o u r first f i l m free.
1983 o n the third flight o f the space
v i e w s o n the shuttle
costs £1 for all paid up
singing p r i n c i p a l parts but y o u w i l l
shuttle challenger (the
and his experiences i n space.
still need to go to a rehearsal to
launch
b o o k an audition time. A u d i t i o n s
( S T S - 8 ) ) . H i s second m i s s i o n came
and
of
the
space
first
night
shuttle,
All
are w e l c o m e
programme; to attend the
talk.
a
and this includes seeing
audition time. T h e r e are s o m e n o n
songs
we're
the universe and the c h a i r -
to get to
the
why
entity's rocketing blood pressure. It
a p r i n c i p a l part, y o u must c o m e to
on
That's
g o i n g ! ) , find out the m e a n i n g o f
one o f these rehearsals some
few
it's title
A n y w a y that's what the book by
them
those o f y o u w h o are interested in
read
B r i a n A l d i s s is about. J o i n I C S F
can get to k n o w some o f the songs e v e n i f y o u d o n ' t all k n o w
Mary
(that's S h e l l e y — s h e wrote a b o o k
O c t o b e r . See y o u there.
up, props etc.
doppelganger
are already underway o n T u e s d a y
moment,
finds
w i t h a real
ever
(starting
a
famous
your
success. We
w i l l be o n T h u r s d a y 24
O t h e r w i s e it members
w h o have already seen a film this year. F o r more details turn up at the film.
NEW MAC PRODUCTS! A p p l e C o m p u t e r will shortly b e a n n o u n c i n g s o m e exciting N E W M a c i n t o s h systems a n d peripherals c o v e r i n g a full r a n g e of PRICE, p e r f o r m a n c e a n d PORTABILITY. ICCS will b e d e m o n s t r a t i n g the C O M P L E T E r a n g e of these products o n W e d n e s d a y 2 3 r d O c t o b e r from 1 4 : 0 0 to 1 7:0O in o u r d e m o n s t r a t i o n area. R o o m 41 O in the M e c h a n i c a l E n g i n e e r i n g b u i l d i n g .
Felix 913
Feature
18 October 1991
Housing is a big issue. It affects
landlord p r o v i d e d they give at least
shortfall. If y o u find yourself in this
all o f us whether
two months notice to quit. T h i s also
position seek a d v i c e !
process o f seeking a c c o m m o d a t i o n
means
or actually l i v i n g i n it. I C students
m o n t h s ' duration it is possible for
What happens once the fixed term of the A S T comes to an end?
we are i n the
that i n a tenancy
o f six
are no exception a n d the U n i o n ' s
a landlord to give notice to quit after
P r o v i d e d that the l a n d l o r d doesn't
welfare
an
four months and for this notice to
exercise their right to repossess the
o f queries o n
expire at the e n d o f the six m o n t h
property
p e r i o d . T h i s means that the tenant
notice s/he m a y then offer y o u a
office
deals
increasing n u m b e r
with
tenant's rights each week. Most
new,
private
tenancy
agreements are n o w either A s s u m e d
would
have
to
leave
after
six
months.
new
by
giving
A S T , for
period.
a
appropriate
further
fixed
Alternatively,
the
agreement can simply be allowed to
or A s s u r e d S h o r t h o l d lettings a n d
A l t h o u g h the tenant cannot be
are regulated b y the 1988 H o u s i n g
evicted without a court order, i f the
expire, creating a p e r i o d i c A S T . If
A c t w h i c h c a m e into effect o n 15
landlord
valid
this happens, a l a n d l o r d must then
agreement and given correct notice,
serve two m o n t h ' s notice o f their
the court must then evict.
intention to repossess the property.
January
1989. Students
with
agreements p r i o r to this date m a y
has
served
a
Finding your shoebox Stefano ICU
Ruis,
Welfare
Adviser,
leads
you through the accomodation labyrinth. Welfare
advice
on ext 3507
.yes, but it's cheap. It's on a very short have
better
and
rights
shoul d
consult I C U ' s W e l f a r e A d v i s e r for more
information.
A
very
high
p r o p o r t i o n o f I C students o c c u p y
lace.
Ending an Assured Shorthold Tenancy Early
The
Students m a y w i s h to leave their
of
property
notice is required i f the l a n d l o r d
before
the end o f the
tenant,
likewise,
their
intention to leave
property in the private rented sector
m i n i m u m six m o n t h p e r i o d . U n l e s s
agrees).
include university,
the agreement allows f o r this o r i f
Rent Increases
(this does not
is
also
required to give two month's notice (less
association
y o u are able to agree this with the
O n c e the rent is agreed o n at the
a c c o m m o d a t i o n ) and this is a b r i e f
l a n d l o r d y o u w i l l continue to be
b e g i n n i n g o f an A S T the l a n d l o r d
council
and housing
agreements
liable for the rent until the e x p i r y
cannot raise it. A t the e n d o f the
regulated b y the n e w H o u s i n g A c t .
o f the m i n i m u m p e r i o d . If y o u are
fixed
Assured Shorthold Tenancy
in this position seek further advice
b e c o m e s a P A S T the charge must
It is l i k e l y that this w i l l be the most
f r o m the W e l f a r e
introduction
common
to
type
of
agreement
term,
if
the
agreement
r e m a i n at the same level unless the
Office.
Joint tenants (i.e. m o r e than one
original contract contained a clause
landlords w i l l ask students to sign.
student signing a single
agreement
a l l o w i n g the l a n d l o r d to review the
An
for a house o r flat) must give notice
rent. N o t e that i f a l a n d l o r d wishes
A S T is a n agreement
which
allows y o u to stay i n the property
jointly,
for a specified p e r i o d o f t i m e , the
possible
minimum
although it is sometimes to
negotiate
with
the
to increase the rent after an A S T has expired and the tenants d o not agree
In
l a n d l o r d and get someone else i n .
with this, the landlord can then gain
order for such a n agreement to be
Y o u should bear i n m i n d , however,
possession
v a l i d a l a n d l o r d must give y o u a
that the l a n d l o r d c a n maintain the
simply giving two months' notice to
separate sheet o f paper stating that
current
quit.
the
Assured
property, regardless o f the fact that
S h o r t h o l d type before y o u sign the
one person m a y have m o v e d out.
being
letting
is
six months.
of
an
m a i n lease. O n c e the period o f time specified by
the agreement
is o v e r ,
the
property can be repossessed b y the
level
for
the
whole
of
It follows
the property
by
f r o m the above that
students should try, i f at all possible
F o r e x a m p l e , i f one o f three joint
to sign agreements
tenants leaves, the r e m a i n i n g t w o
academic year and holiday plans. In
m a y have to increase their share o f
practice,
the rent i n order to m a k e up the
though!
— 6—
this
that suit their
is rarely
possible
18 October 1991
Felix 913
Feature
Fixed T e r m Assured Tenancy
obtained f r o m the U n i o n ' s W e l f a r e
If y o u sign an agreement for a fixed
Office.
p e r i o d o f time and it is not an A S T
Deposits
issue
it is likely to be a F T A T . Y o u have
M o s t landlords w i l l charge tenants
Welfare Office
security o f tenure d u r i n g the p e r i o d
a deposit
within the U n i o n G e n e r a l O f f i c e in
FTAT—Fixed
o f the fixed term and the l a n d l o r d
themselves
Beit Q u a d .
Tenancy
in order
to
against
indemnify
unreasonable
must obtain a court order i f s/he
costs arising when tenants leave the property.
repossess
during
p e r i o d . Special grounds
this
must
be
On
some
from
reimburse them for no good reason.
you
the
W h e n p a y i n g a deposit y o u should
U n l e s s there is a clause i n the
w h i c h also stipulates exactly what
seek
advice
from
deposits
or
even
fail
the money is for. In order to protect yourself
the expirty o f the contract. If y o u
problems regarding this it is a good
are i n this p o s i t i o n , seek a d v i c e .
idea
Expiry of F T A T
outlined in section two o f the I C U
Some
Housing
stipulate
from
to
possible
follow
the
Rights
what w i l l happen to the contract
following
onc e the fixed t e r m expires. If this
landlord
does
procedure
Pack.
these
future
If,
after
guidelines not
return
the
is not specified, the tenant w i l l then
deposit seek a d v i c e f r o m the I C U Welfare Adviser.
Statutory
Assured
Tenant. A l a n d l o r d m a y then only repossess
the property
by
court
I have tried to answer the m o r e common
queries
order and must, in any case give
rights.
notice
(usually
however,
court
can only
back
to
a
two grant
landlord
months).
A
possession i f they
are
The
about
above is
housing
Tenancy Term
Assured
only
a
•
NEW
•
ACCESSORIES
A N D
More
detailed
grounds
p r o d u c e d by the W e l f a r e
Rights
Pack
C o p i e s are free and are
USED
BIKES
Effie Road, F u l h a m Broadway,
L o n d o n SW6
law.
HIRE
MONDAY TO SATURDAY
4-6
the
REPAIRS
OPEN: 9.00am - 7 . 0 0 p m
of
Housing
are
BICYCLE
SALES A N D
general
grounds) for possession exists. T h e possession
• •
introduction and not a full statement information can be found i n I C U ' s
stipulated i n the H o u s i n g A c t a n d
Nend-a-Bike
information,
satisfied that a particular ground (or for
P A S T — P e r i o d i c A s s u r e d Shorthold
your
become
a
w h i c h is situated
A S T — A s s u r e d Shorthold Tenancy
obtain a receipt f r o m the l a n d l o r d
it is difficult to leave a F T A T before
may
in the
to
agreement about early termination,
agreements
consulted
occasions
tenant. If a l a n d l o r d is t r y i n g to get out,
I c a n be
Glossary
landlords w i l l try to deduct m o n e y
p r o v e d before a court w i l l evict a
W e l f a r e O f f i c e urgently.
Office.
If y o u need advice on any housing
wishes
to
f r o m the U n i o n G e n e r a l
which
is
Office.
ITD
071-371 5867 C I S T U D E N T S 10% D S IC O U N T ON ALL A C C E S S O R E IS & S E R V C IE S .B K IE SA L R E A D YD S IC O U N T E D .
available
further information o n these can be
Schlum Companies Have It Sooner or later, engineering graduates have to make a decision whether to stay close to the technology that fascinates them and in which they have excelled so far, or whether to move out into management-style functions which are perceived - often quite rightly - to be the most effective way up to the top. In Schlumberger you don't have to face such black-and-white decisions. Schlumberger operates a policy of promotion from within which means that all the senior managers (and we are talking about all the way to the chairman) have come up from the graduate engineer level. While providing unsurpassed management opportunities for young engineers, our system of career development also means that employees are not pigeon-holed or likely to experience one-way tickets into support functions. A typical career in Schlumberger will lead in and out of technical, management and support roles, broadening experience, providing a unique variety and building the strongest corporate management potential of tomorrow. And while we are looking for the potential in our recruits to benefit from this philosophy, we do not compromise on engineering expertise. Which is why we are market leaders in ourfour mainstream activities and are continuing to invest in R&D with a commitment and confidence way beyond that of our competitors. If you would like to know more about these careers which range from industrial engineering in some of the most high-tech plants in the world, to field-based jobs supplying specialised technical services to our oilfield clients all over the globe, please come to our careers evening in the Sherfield Building on 28 October at 6pm or contact us directly by writing to: Schlumberger SCR-FX, PO Box 153, Cambridge CB3 OHG
—7—
Felix 913
Feature
They've done it again - Rag's
18 October 1991
M a n y o f the students a r r i v e d to
cones to restaurant menus to posters
was
register in fancy dress o f v a r y i n g
f r o m v i d e o and r e c o r d stores to the
another total success. T h e r e was so
degrees o f silliness and there was
ultimate - the offer o f a free d i s c o
much
even
second
event
of
the
year
enthusiasm a m o n g
students
that
the
all the
day
went
a
team
singers w h o
of
eight
excellent
sang for m o n e y
and
for R a g f r o m a traffic w a r d e n .
A
fair amount o f treasure relating to
treasure. E v e r y team had a name,
penguins was also brought back, to
A b o u t 280 students took part in
and these were fairly unusual at
the
the actual g a m e o f M o n o p o l y , but
times. Q u o t i n g W i l l Stallard, the
voiceless R a g c h a i r m a n .
exceptionally w e l l .
delight
Mencap
of
our
currently
organised
a
party
at
the c o l l e c t i n g began at m i d n i g h t o n
R a g secretary: 'I had to go into the
Saturday, with 38 students heading
lounge bar and shout for teams to
K i n g ' s C o l l e g e ( K i n g ' s R o a d ) for everyone who collected for the day,
for Leicester Square, to collect from
start c o u n t i n g their m o n e y . T h i n g s
the people leaving the cinemas and
started to get ridiculous w h e n I had
w h i c h included students f r o m many
clubs. T h i s went w e l l and at about
to shout for O G 2 Sex K i t c h e n . It
other
Rags
around
the
country.
Q u i t e a few I C students went a n d , apart f r o m the expensive food and
Rags to riches
d r i n k , it was an excellent e v e n i n g . The
winning
team
was
The
Superteam w h i c h consisted o f N i c k Allen,
Pete
Bowen,
Tamsin
Braisher,
Aled
Fenner,
Heighway
and D e m i Jones. T h e y
Martin
were all part o f the group collecting
Leading
raggies,
through the night. T h e final total raised last Saturday was an a m a z i n g £8,290.72, w h i c h
Beccy Land and
almost d o u b l e d the amount raised at
Marc
last
year's
Ellis
the
Tiddlywinking
Cloakrooms
a.k.a.
Monopoly.
This,
c o m b i n e d with the m o n e y raised at and
during
the
Rag
Freshers'
W e e k , means that R a g has raised
the mute
o v e r £11,000 i n o n l y two weeks. T h i s is a third o f the final total for
swan on
last year. A t this rate, R a g is g o i n g to be unbelievably huge this year
-
keep up the g o o d w o r k .
Monopoly.
So Hiya,
far
it's Penguin
the R A G
C h a i r m a n here again.
Monopoly
RAG,
for
those o f y o u w h o still haven't c o m e across
it this late
into t e r m ,
is
has raised
basically students raising money for
£8,300.
that way).
charity in the most fun way possible ('cause it's easier to raise m o n e y We
do it exceptionally
w e l l at I . C . , but this year has far exceeded
anyone's
expectations.
W i t h o n l y two events gone w e ' r e already almost a third o f o u r w a y to last years o v e r a l l total! A s w e l l as that, this year we
have
p e o p l e i n v o l v e d than ever
more before
and the fun atmosphere associated w i t h it is second to none! Last
Saturday
was
Live
M O N O P O L Y , at w h i c h we raised a staggering £8,290.72, an amount that I owe entirely to those who took part. E v e r y o n e w h o participated, 4
am
the
group
headed
for
S m i t h f i e l d M a r k e t . Unfortunately, w h e n they a r r i v e d , they found that
took three attempts before I got a
even those who participated a small
reply out o f t h e m . '
amount had a brilliant d a y , w h i c h
Nearly
e v e r y o n e attempted the
it was shut until M o n d a y . T h e y then
M o n o p o l y clues ( w h i c h s o m e said
d e c i d e d to m a k e their w a y to N e w
were too difficult), and e v e r y o n e
C o v e n t G a r d e n Market. F i v e people
managed
went by taxi and the rest made their
along the way. A lot o f people have
way
by tube.
to collect some
money
is g o o d because it means that I ' m doing m y job
properly.
R i g h t , d o w n to business. Seeing as
you're
reading
this
during
F r i d a y ' s lectures (like everyone else
S o m e d e c i d e d that
now raised enough money for a R a g
in college) that means that there is
they w o u l d head back and get some
m u g , and a few have even collected
now
sleep before M o n o p o l y , and the rest
e n o u g h for a R a g T - shirt.
third massive R a g event o f term: it's
went to either the E l e p h a n t Castle Market.
or
to
Portobello
Everyone
was
and Road
back
at
M o s t o f the treasure acquired was done
so
pleasant
which
made
a
going to be literally hundreds taking
change
from
previous
part (although that doesn't mean we
years.
Monopoly,
spectacular.
had any sleep.
without
having
Some
of
The
it
was
items
quite
collected
ranged f r o m the inevitable traffic
—8—
this Saturday (19th Oct) and there's
legally,
college by 10 a m to take part i n the most
less than 24 hours until the
d o n ' t want m o r e ) . It's g o i n g to be fun,
frantic,
frivolous.
It's
but
above
called
'The
all, Great
18 October 1991
Feature
Felix 913 course! S o , be m a d , be silly and be part o f it! L a s t l y , there have been v i c i o u s r u m o u r s f l y i n g about that the loss o f m y v o i c e is entirely 'a R a g stunt' and that I 'must be raising loads for charity d o i n g i t ' . W e l l , for anyone w h o I h a v e n ' t already down'
for,
'written it
it's not and I ' m
T h u s I apologise
for
not!
not h a v i n g
leapt in front o f any lectures be i ng
very
bumped
talkative
into
Hopefully
me
my
or
if
you've
this
week.
voice
will
have
returned by the t i me y o u get r o u n d to reading this or b y t o d a y ' s
Rag
meeting, i n the U n i o n L o u n g e at 12.40pm,
to
which
everyone's
welcome, could prove even more fun than u s u a l .
Penguin, Rag C h a i r m a n . P.S.
Rag
Week
starts
on
15th
N o v e m b e r . T h i s year it's g o i n g to be v e r y b i g ,
so start t h i n k i n g o f
what y o u , y o u r c l u b s , y o u r h a l l , y o u r friends and y o u r pet antarctic monochromatic flightless waterfowl can
all
welcome.
do
for Please
it.
Any contact
ideas me
a.s.a.p. v i a the R a g p i g e o n hole i n the U n i o n O f f i c e .
Sarah,
the Rag Treasurer, Straightens her toupee an exhausting day.
after
Sightseeing C h a l l e n g e ' . B e T h e r e !
(iii) A n On-the-Spot Scavenge (as
O . K . so I suppose y o u want to
above), only after having completed
k n o w something about it. W e l l how
one o f these c a n y o u r team be told
do these prospects grab y o u :
w h e r e the next sight is. If at any
(i) M u g g i n g tourists to find out
point y o u r team can't fulfil the task
h o w m a n y b e d r o o m s there are i n
c h o s e n y o u c a n change task, but
B u c k i n g h a m Palace.
y o u w i l l i n c u r a penalty. T h e team
(ii) Y o u and y o u r team b u i l d i n g
c o m p l e t i n g the route with fewest
a human p y r a m i d outside St. P a u l ' s
penalties are the winners.
Cathedral.
event o f a tie (quite l i k e l y w i t h
In the
(iii) Y o u and y o u r team f i ndi ng
nearly 50 teams), the w i n n i n g team
a pint o f T h a m e s water without a
w i l l be the one with the highest
pint glass, in L o n d o n at this h o u r !
amount c o l l e c t e d . E a s y ? T r y it!
W e l l these are all challenges that
T h e r e w i l l be prizes for the top
y o u may or m a y not c o m e across
five freshers o n l y teams
on
veterans are m o r e than welcome) as
Saturday's
Great
Sightseeing
C h a l l e n g e . L e t m e e x p l a i n further T h e G . S . S . C . is yet another fun day out for all the family (?),
but
o f course being R a g , t r y i n g to raise as
much
money
tomorrow's
case,
for
charity
(in
UNICEF)
as
well
as
other
(although
prizes
for
top
collectors and o u r usual incentive scheme
for
the • amount
raised
d u r i n g the year : £50 = F r e e M u g , £150 = Free
F r e e T - S h i r f and £300
Sweatshirt. done
So
if
=
you've
possible in the process. T h e a i m is
already
for y o u r team- o f 4 to 6 (so if y o u
M o n o p o l y y o u ' r e well o n y o u r way
Tiddlywinks
or
haven't got one together yet do it
already. U N I C E F are also g i v i n g
now) to complete the course i n the
prizes for best i n d i v i d u a l totals, but
time permitted, hopefully
as with last w e e k, there's loads o f
having
collected some m o n e y en route. T h e route w i l l take y o u a r o u n d
other
Rags
country
from
coming
the the
competition
so if y o u ' r e new in town, or y o u just
h o w e v e r m e a n that the party be i ng
want a fun day out c o m e and j o i n
.held
here
by
high.
so
about 9 o f L o n d o n ' s greatest sights,
us. E v e r y b o d y ' s w e l c o m e (whether
is
all a r o u n d down,
This
UNICEF
in
does the
e v e n i n g s h o u l d be a stormer
y o u ' v e done any R a g events yet or
Register f r o m 10am to 12am in
not). A t each sight y o u r team w i l l
Beit Q u a d . T h e marshals w i l l be
have the c h o i c e o f either:
returning at about 5 . 3 0 p m , so the
(i) A Q u i c k Q u e s t i o n
sooner y o u start the better chance
(ii) A P h y s i c a l C h a l l e n g e
y o u w i l l have o f c o m p l e t i n g the
—9—
18 October 1991
Felix 913
Music
amounts
The Pixies -Trompe le Monde
Nine Inch Nails
'Fuck, while
to
nothing
more
m a n . A i n ' t space heavily
stoned.
than huge?'
I
might
suggest i t ' s a little m o r e than that. 'Bossanova'
w as
spacey i m a g e r y ,
loaded
with
and ' T r o m p e . . . '
takes it further. T h e y still use those o d d r h y t h m i c twists a n d j e r k s i n their blunt but effective m e t h o d o f This
band
supported
Guns
engaging the listener, so m u c h so
N'
that
I ' m also g i v e n to believe
Roses.
this
synonymy
could
S i m o n (yes, y o u k n o w the d r i l l . . . )
c o n c e i v a b l y metamorphose
into a
'Bates' has played their latest single
bizarre self-parody, but it has to be
o n R a d i o O n e , not that I listen to
said
W a n k s p e a k , y o u understand. W h a t
stylistically
is most surprising about this band
'Trompe...'.
is that they bear m o r e relation to,
'Bossanova', had a similar power
say, Ministry,
N o t that
N'R.
songs, ' S a d P u n k ' and ' U - M a s s ' i n particular, but the harsh, punky jolts
did.
and
So
does
l . p . , and is sleek
inarticulate gut instincts, fear a n d
be
Progenitor
about The Pixies
is a something
o f an
recounted,
I'm
not thinking
right n o w . N o ,
eerily
stubborness.
corporate assassin o f a song. It's
veritable
Rock n' Roll
Francis'
about
voice
Their cover of
The
'Head O n '
and
flogs the o r i g i n a l to death, b y the
n ' R o l l is not
way. T h i s is a very c o o l record, and
obviously, Rock
sweet
maintain their glorious pig-shit thick
Jesus and Mary Chain's
aggression.
a
'Black'
is a primal thing, articulating for the loathing,
in fact,
Charles
Franci s o f The Pixies.
is the o p e n i n g track o n
brutal,
from
what r o c k n ' r o l l , were about. H e
F o r some strange reason about to
and
about
'Velouria',
any less
T h e aforementioned single, Head this re-released
something rock
they didn't understand what he, and
miffed.
like a Hole
is
heavy
than G
Mode
they're
there
c h o r d structure to a lot o f these
Front 242 o r a w e l l
f u c k i n ' ' a r d Depeche
that
desire
h i g h art, but it is at once
one I strongly advocate
ownership
of, but d o n ' t k i l l for it. 'Planet o f
angry m a n g o i n g by the name o f
I ' m t h i n k i n g about twat musos and
surface and symbol (thanks, Oscar).
Trent
their
W e intellectualise r o c k n ' r o l l at o u r
S o u n d ' et a l , keep Pixies
peril.
o f all sharp a n d bitching p o p at the
Reznor,
and as
a
vocal
analogy, y o u might care to imagine The
with InXS
Exorcist
Michael
phallic
egocentricity.
I'm
t h i n k i n g about s c u m - s u c k i n g r o c k n ' r o l l virtuosity, notes-per-second
S o n o w , after deftly a v o i d i n g the obvious, I ' m going to talk about the
H u t c h e n c e replacing L i n d a B l a i r .
etc.
F r o m a p u r r to a g r o w l o f s y n t h -
H e n d r i x and the legions o f wankers
Pixies.
he
Francis'
h o o k that's as velvety and elegant
I'm
thinking
unwittingly
about
spawned
Jimi
because
It has been r e m a r k e d that interest
in the
cosmos
at the top
m o m e n t , but w e all k n o w p o p is a n art f o r m . T h a n k s again, O s c a r . A l l art is useless.
David
as it is m e n a c i n g and aggressive,
Head
like
is pure p o p
a Hole
b u b b l i n g away in a c a u l d r o n full o f malevolence.
Reznor's lyrics and
d e l i v e r y set h i m f i r m l y in the i v o r y tower prison camp for social misfits
Chapterhouse -Mesmerise
HAIRDRESSERS 15A H A R R I N G T O N R O A D , SOUTH KENSINGTON 071-823 8968
( ' T h e D e v i l wants to fuck m e i n the back o f his c a r and there's nothing like the feel
quite
of
something
n e w ' ) . A s a se'er o f the w o r l d , he hardly sports rose-tinted shades, but very
occasionally,
impression convinced Maybe
that
I
even
get he
b y his v i s i o n
it's d o w n
herein.
to the
poppy
quality he' imbues his v o i c e w i t h , w h i c h makes the prospect o f N i n e Inch N a i l s even more alarming than Perry
Farrell, AI Jourgenson or
e v e n , g o d f o r b i d , Jello B i a f r a . for the rest
As
Machine, up
o f Pretty
and eerie
funk to the point where this c o u l d be
considered
p r o m i s i n g debut.
a
Terrible
very Lie
is
eminently freaky, as is That's what I get,
both taking the skeleton o f
punk, coating liberally with highlypolished
chrome
and
taking
o n b o a r d the g l e a m i n g d e m o n o f a cyberpsychosis. N e v e r is this m o r e on
the
bizarrely
apparent
than
beautiful
' S o m e t h i n g I c a n never
have'. T h i s is sick, unholy shit, but, as R e z n o r says h i m s e l f with m o r e than a m o d i c u m o f p r i d e , I'm
all messed u p ' . Y e a h ,
M a y b e I a m , too.
David
would
c a l l them, but this c o m e s
close third. A
massive c h u n k o f
noise is m i x e d with a v o c a l that
'Maybe right.
to
ready
pounce
on
any
C h e c k us o u t !
like lave
on a
unsuspecting listener.
melodies
e m b e l l i s h a fine slab o f industrial rightly
Pearl m a y have been m a y favorite track f r o m ' T h e S c e n e ' as the press
lurks menacingly below the surface,
Hate
it's nervy enough; broken
rhythms
W e have a fantastic offer f o r a l l y o u students, a c u t w a s h a n d b l o w d r y b y o u r t o p stylist ( w h i c h n o r m a l l y costs a r o u n d £21) F o r o n l y £11 M e n £12 W o m e n
the isn't
It
flows
along
carpet, sticking like glue to anyone or
anything
it c a n . A t stages it
appears to d i e , only to re-emerge like,
well
something
that
re-
emergeges, full o f life and ready for action. On
the flip
where
they
themselves
is another appear
to
remix sample
(that gets around the
legal problems, g o o d thinking) and this time the vocals are definitely relegated to the third d i v i s i o n . T h e pure noise and energy takes and the enjoyment begins.
over
People
might c o m p l a i n , ' a n d w h e r e ' s the m u s i c ? ' , w e l l i s n ' t m u s i c al about enjoying
yourself?
Pebbles
10—
c
x
8
Chaim Velial: Live? version
'classic'.
O f those
succeeded,
of, ahem,
a
o c c a s i o n e d to w o n d e r w h e r e i n lies
orchestrations
their
sense
o f the absurd
obviously
bombing
bloody mischievous, but its location
guitar
and
Sadean
there,
- it's
replaced by a lurid haze o f d i v e -
i t ' s perfectly
malevolence.
In the b a c k g r o u n d ,
is d a m n e d difficult, so genuine, so
I can think o f three,
foreground,
FUCKING
often, seem their sentiments - but
v e r s i o n o f Hot
of Mercy's
Chocolate's
chamber
Fist, it's
have
that
maybe four, off the top o f m y head. Sisters
a list like this, I ' m
Train.
o f M a r c A l m o n d ' s Mother ornate
definitive
With
tribute to ' a son o f the c i t y ' , a cover
Emma, The Fail 'doing
a j o b ' on The Kinks'
Victoria,
of Elvis'
Nick
an
awesome
this is a m i n o r point with w h i c h to
state o f total g r o o v e . E v e n before
contradict
the sculptured feedback
p e r f o r m a n c e . F u c k , but I w i s h I ' d
has
been
twisted ' r o u n d o n its final axis, the k i c k s into action f o r a
drumbox
so
massive
a
been there. T h i s extraordinary show is closed
I have a strange feeling that this tape
Cave's
is a bootleg.
Ghetto, and possibly Scott W a l k e r ' s
white noise trip through M a d n e s s '
w i t h , and I quote,
a homage ' t o
heartbreaking rendi ti on o f Jacques
'Michael
Y e a r Z e r o s ' . Chaim
Velial,
surprised rather
N o t o n l y a m I not
b y this,
proud
I ' m actually
o f it. S o there.
I
cover
EVERYWHERE,
B r e l ' s // You Go Away.
personally feel there is something
I hear, Chaim
rather disquieting about the w h o l e
of
ethos o f little o r u n k n o w n
sometimes
bands
confusing
In the
F r o m what
m a k e a point
Velial
their
playing
audience,
sets
entirely
the
swirling
o f growing
then
pop
icons;
Black,
I say 'Just C o v e r s ' ?
the
a
really
extraordinary
contribution to e v e n
merely add
something to, let alone r e c o r d the
chill
d e c a y i n g sound are w o v e n c h o i c e
original, sometimes just covers. D i d
takes
Prince,
T h e vocalist, mysteriously k n o w n
Einsturzende Dan.
'Matthew'
opens
this
r e m a r k a b l y g o o d r e c o r d i n g with a
Primal
whole
only
as
is truly
Throughout
of
T h e s e days it
that
bewildering.
p l a y i n g live sets consisting entirely c o v e r versions.
Caine'
Scream,
Big
Adam & the Ants, spectrum
'arty'
name,
such a
p r o c e e d to
l a m p o o n (and harpoon) the entire -world
with
a razor-sharp,
metal maniac o f Dead Holiday
sheet
Kennedys' every one o f
in Cambodia,
including
Jello Biafra's sneers reinvented with
Neubauten and Steely
an astounding m e n a c e . T h i s is a
Jesus C h r i s t , they even cast a
shadow
serious
over
Sisters
of
Mercy's
mighty and frightening experience; I c a n ' t wait to see t h e m . David
This Picture -A Violent Impression
Suzanne Vega -Tom's Album T h e r e is a definite Irish feeling to this r e c o r d , be it the lilting v o c a l , the subtle pipes and v i o l i n o r the soft m e l l o w m e l o d i e s , a n y w a y y o u l o o k at it y o u see a c l o v e r leaf. I ' m not going to c o m p a r e them to other
D e e p in M a n h a t t a n , o n
Irish bands, that's unfair o n t h e m
lives a small diner. T o m ' s .
and o n y o u . T h i s is g o o d
mellow
o p e n this a l b u m w i t h a r e m i x o f
Broadway, DNA
stuff that o c c a s i o n a l l y rocks out a
Rusted Pipe from the Days Of Open
little to get y o u r feet tapping and the
Hand
m i n d racing.
track. T h e then follows the o r i g i n a l
It all makes m e feel like riding in a convertible with the r o o f
a l b u m , i n c l u d e d as a bonus
version,
down
plain,
sparse,
barren,
adjective, and then this a l b u m gets
r o l l i n g along a quite country lane,
seriously w a r p e d .
the w i n d in m y hair and not a care
in G e r m a n , a c o m p l e t e l y unrelated
in the w o r l d .
It makes y o u
feel
rap sung b y N i k k i
ha ppy , j o l l y a n d , w e l l there's n o
conversation is love and the general
thesaurus so add a w o r d
illquality o f what is available.
own.
o f your
A s f o r the w o r d s ,
they're
E n g l i s h and m a k e about as m u c h sense as a parrot o n speed. A s far as
I c a n tell
the m a i n
topic o f
typical topic but as they say,
A 'the
background
a d d to the m e l l o w
T h e guitars mix perfectly with the m o o d , and the light d r u m i n the
A l l good
Voice
Of The Beehive poly,
shock!!
week
after
nearly
Despite
play South And
only a
playing
o u r beloved
here.
London
than
a r o u n d the b a c k g r o u n d ,
more
Waiting
quiche pastiche o n the subject o f the quite funny. T h e n there's the first
T r a n s p o r t setting fire to a train at
Of
and say, ' w h o the h e l l are y o u ? "
(Voice Nothing)
supermarkets, and other such things
Of The Beehive,
in a sweet and l o v e l y
way to the industrial style bar with
And, o n r e c o r d , what are they like
way.
I Say
But so what i f they sound
similar? A t least they d o n ' t sound like Chapterhouse.
E l e p h a n t and C a s t l e , I found m y
are
dreamy
Forget-me-nots
a n d soft,
a n d when
a fine selection o f lager. In clouds
on record? Sweet and lovely, again,
E i t h n e sings ' T u r n s m y light o h o h
o f d r y ice out c o m e two girls, w h o
in a p o p p y k i n d o f w a y ,
oh o n , ' I b e g i n to feel that m a y b e ,
I will instead
call
Michelle
o f Tracey
and the
and Eithne,
Beehive
i n them creeps into their
just maybe, this is a truly wonderful
and Melissa,
lyrics.
Compare
r e c o r d . Forget-Me-Nots,
a n d discuss.
because, f o r the second time i n a
' T h e r e ' s a m a n in your bed and he's
week, I have a s u s p i c i o n that this
asking y o u r name'
(Forget-me-nots,
—
love y o u . Lise
Yates
it o v e r .
Italo-house,
Jeannie.
Remember
that. N o ,
neither d i d anyone else in m y flat.
G i r l ) ' H e ' l l wake up in the m o r n i n g
about
turn
something excellent about / Dream
is not in fact a pair o f W e s t coast
a n d sing
point, a reggae v e r s i o n . O h
low well,
yankees (in the noose), but instead some Irish people. T h e y b r i n g with
and then w h i c h is a
At The Border
g u l f war, G e o r g e B u s h and a l l . It's
stuff.
Pebbles
them three lads,
D . usi ng the
de d o d e p " bit s k u l k i n g
rather
m o o d y tracks.
o l d ones are still the best'.
"dep
the s l o w e r
atmosphere overpowering
Forget-Me-Nots -Live at the South Bank Poly Bank
A v e r s i o n sung
I think I
But I d o . It was this 6 0 ' s
series
about a genie, a n d . . . T h e next track is a rap rewrite, and it's quite g o o d as far as rap c o u l d be. T h e n there's a Swedish DNA
version,
moins de la
backbeat, and then o f f to the
Borderline,
f o r REM's
(Bingo)
Hand Job d o i n g a v e r y silly v e r s i o n the
original
instrumental, and DNA's
smash,
about
nothing,
w h i c h is where we started. T o o c o o l for w o r d s . Lise
Yates
18 October 1991
Felix 913
Reviews
Drop Dead Fred
Doc Hollywood
I have been told that e x p e r i e n c i n g
M i c h a e l J . F o x ! T e e n a g e girls !
R i k M a y a l l is one o f the finer points
F a s t cars ! A d o l e s c e n t fantasies a-
of
go-go ! W o w ,
getting
to
know
the
English
mentality. I have seen Drop
sit back and wait for
an hour and h a l f o f w i s e c r a c k i n '
Dead
inimitable fun with the F o x !
Fred twice n o w , once w h e n I was
A c t u a l l y , it appears that M i k e y
still in T h e States, and f r a n k l y , the second time a r o u n d it is terribly
has g o n e A D U L T
tedious. T h i s m o v i e seems to have
means the m o v i e ' s (wow,
been
great w o r d ! m o v i e ' s ! entering new
put
together
as
a
tool
of
a n d alas, that
etymological
what a
masturbation for dear o l d R i k . T h i s
uncharted
i s n ' t to say that the m o v i e does not
here ! W h e r e possessives have no
territory
have some extraordinary strokes, as
though he is quite invisible to her.
m e a n i n g and the apostrophe is the
uninhibited l o c a l lass, L o u , (Julie
it were, o f genius, but it does get
A l s o a bright spot in this film is her
e n e m y o f m a n !) also gone A D u L T
W a r n e r ) and a variety o f
a bit tiring after a w h i l e . T h e r e are
childhood
and that means, natch, that stuff
s m a l l - t o w n folks. H i s car c a n ' t be
about
fixed because the locals tend to deal
just
so
many
pelvic
thrusts
for
emnhasis a v i e w e r c a n take. H a v i n g said this, I w o u l d like to point out some o f the finer points
best
friend.
acceptance o f her head
His
problems
ReLATioNShlPS
and e v e n his attempt to j o i n in o n
MoTiVATioN
the insanity is quite funny.
SeaRCHiNG
T h i s is definitely a one-time see,
and
and have
SoUL
entered
(very)
in swine rather than pearls, so he
the
whiles away the time trying to lever
picture. A n d the picture is this : T h e
his way into L o u ' s pants and having
extremely
but
the
F o x is a w h i z z surgeon w h o ' s had
a few emotional medical sequences.
supporting
daytime please. I wouldn't want y o u
e n o u g h o f h e l p i n g the needy and
In the e n d , all c o m e s out h a p p i l y ,
actors add a d e c i s i v e edge to the
wasting an extra three quid. In fact,
w o r k i n g his butt o f f and all that
he w a r m s to the place, etc. etc.
f i l m . C a r r i e F i s h e r , plays the role
see it o n v i d e o ; it should be ready
stuff, so h e ' s o f f to C a l i f o r n i a to
o f Best F r i e n d that she perfected in
for release i n the next m o n t h . R i k
earn h i m some big money o n the nip
Her
M a y a l l can provide a laugh at times,
' n ' tuck market. O n his w a y ,
although these laughs do require the
carelessly fails to spot a pair o f
the transition f r o m b u b b l e - g u m
intellect
c o w s i n the road (of
A D U L T with a reasonable degree
of
this
otherwise
mediocre movie.
When
Harry
The
Met
Sally.
character is a new age lawyer.
This
is
corporate
wonderfully
only
once,
of
a
spouts
to
the
bovine
whole
actors is e n o u g h to give y o u the
!) into, the l o c a l j u d g e ' s fence. S a i d
pleasantly.
film.
j u d g e is not too happy and orders
throwing your money away.
friend
However,
i f y o u like R i k M a y a l l ,
h i m to p e r f o r m c o m m u n i t y service
g o see it for g o d ' s sake - it's m a d e
by w a y o f recompense. W h i l e he
when she indulges her 'imagination'
just for y o u !
does
and tries to strangle
Fred,
even
to maintain interest; T h e F o x makes
o f smoothness and generally
does seem to treat L i z z i e as a c h i l d
she
unsurprising
Porsche Speedster (fast car ! fast car
of
endurance to sit through the
However,
deeply
variety) and consequently drives his
and
' V i s u a l i s e ! V i s u a l i s e ! ' to her dear Elizabeth.
a
brilliant
a
and
old
is
supporting
performances
hand
seven-year
he
This
f i l m , but it has e n o u g h q u i r k s in it
the
detect,
search for her e n d o r p h i c h i g h with in
during
the
expressed when she p o w e r walks in cigarette
and
so,
gritting
his
teeth
shebang
bubbles
You
to the
along
wouldn't
be
The Flying Gerbil
in
frustration, he meets a r e m a r k a b l y
Jennifer Argabright.
The Rescuers Down Under sequences
can
be
computer
designed
flowing
action
seen
to
with to
be
smooth
immense
p r e c i s i o n . T h e animation is v e r y g o o d (but not up to Little
Mermaid
standards) and s o m e o f the voi c es A f t e r only
are well chosen. B o b Newhart gives
14 years B e r n a r d and
v o i c e to B e r n a r d ,
B i a n c a are back in a r i p - r o a r i n g adventure mind's
eye's
deepest
albatross,
dreams
do
c r o c o d i l e s there is a goanna l i z a r d
movie,
D i s n e y kids have negligible noses?)
w h o provides slapstick aplenty in a
uncanny deja-vu, but there is a new
who
menacing
action
tilt.
action,
with the brat
nose
(why
has been caught b y a nasty
poacher
while
rescuing
fickle
George
C.
Scott
to
Rogers to Jake the kangaroo mouse.
T h e y ' r e out to rescue another k i d negligible
to
M c L e a c h the poacher and T r i s t a n
imagination. O k a y , it's A u s t r a l i a . with
E v a Gabor
B i a n c a , J o h n C a n d y to W i l b u r the
set at the limit o f the
bunch
manner of
and the
amiable
usual
verbose
and
some
of
Possibly
it too
gives much
coming
so
Jake
has
the
some o f the accents really have to
It's
great.
marsupials. T h e albatross is b a c k
close to death that he c o u l d read the
saw the previous tale, the poacher
(well his brother) and the r o m a n c e
label o n the reapers pants, and even
smashing
needs the c h i l d to get the treasure
between lead m i c e is aflame. T h i s
the
really great.
(flipping huge eagle). Rather than
may
macho
sound
rather
like
the
first
of
he-mouse.
Bernard A
lot
as
a of
realistic
be heard.
a n i m a l s . Pretty o b v i o u s l y , i f y o u
emergence
only
A u s t r a l i a n accent i n the f i l m and
Really
lovely.
great.
Bit
Super
short,
The Amazing Machine
but
Felix 913
18 October 1991
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18 October 1991
Felix 913
Editorial I have been told that so far this
letter and it has not been i n c l u d e d ,
tough
o n the c o l l e g e
this w i l l be due to one o f several
authorities. T h i s m a y appear to be
reasons; it was r u b b i s h ; it was not
enough
l
apologise. I f y o u have submitted a
year, this newspaper has not been
true, but it is not because I have
signed b y the author; o r it missed
e v e r y o n e i f y o u were to j o i n any
time o f writing I can guarantee that
been converted to t h i n k i n g that the
the deadline ( M o n d a y 12.30). I will
one o f them.
this w o n ' t be managed.
Sherfield bureaucrats are j o l l y nice
not guarantee
people, but because I have not yet
article, though I w i l l d o m y best i f
r e c e i v e d m u c h i n f o r m a t i o n to get
submitted
m y teeth into. It is not for want o f
aforementioned deadline.
trying.
the i n c l u s i o n o f any before
the
Oh,
A r t i c l e s solicited and unsolicited
the tribulations o f being a
are w e l c o m e to
newspaper editor. I shall stop this
F e l i x , provided that they are signed
wittering immediately as I a m being
on
a n y subject
by the author - the name does not
severely
is a dearth o f news i n
have to be printed, but I need to
g o i n g o n next door.
at the m o m e n t .
k n o w as the editor.
Credits
No time like the present
News: Megan
There
Bits and Pieces
college
I have received some letters w h i c h
somebody
have not been signed by the author.
some? A bit o f c o r r u p t i o n i n high
T h i s issue is somewhat smaller than
The
places generally goes d o w n
please
Could
go and make
distracted b y the d i s c o
Stef,
Jonty, N i g e l ,
Phil,
usual. T h i s is because:
Photography: S i m o n and others
R a s h ' , w h i c h I d o n ' t believe is a
though failing that, a nice meaty sex
a) I ' m not getting m u c h sleep due
Reviews:
proper
scandal would be helpful. If nothing
to being h o r r i b l y o v e r w o r k e d and
S p a v i d D o o n e r , P o d d y and all the
turns u p I w i l l have to engineer
b) A l l the printing has to be done
new
some news to fend o f f accusations
b y 5 . 0 0 p m o n T h u r s d a y . A t the
Articles:
latest
was n a m e d
na m e ,
though
'Crouch i f it is I
BEER FESTIVAL 20th
well,
of being boring. T h i s is not difficult to do, though I'd rather not. I would - including more
Do you look over 30 on Sunday mornings?
national
stories relevant to I C students - but
November
this
cannot be done
people
I am now ordering the beers for the 1991 beer festival. I f you have any preferences, please write them down and address them to Richard Evers c/o IC R a g or R C S U n i o n b y 30th October.
more
in
news
gathering. If y o u w o u l d like to help i n f o r m the college o f what's g o i n g on,
get i n v o l v e d i n college media
- I C R a d i o , next to Southside shop,
For bi-weekly matches phone Rob Carty on 081-316 9000 (day) or E r i c Hudson 081-337 3200 (eves)
S T O I C (television), o n the top floor of
the U n i o n B u i l d i n g , o r us i n
F e l i x , i n the far right hand corner of
Beit
Quad.
The
three
organisations should be able to pool their
1WÂŁCAf
are i n v o l v e d
until
news,
so it w o u l d
Iff' LOOKS LIKETHIS...
Beccy, Z o e ,
T y p e s e t a n d phone m i n d e r : F r a u Rose von Atkins Printing and Goatee B e a r d E d i t o r : A n d y ' B u r l Ives' T h o m p s o n Computer Monitor Zappers: T o b y and James R u s h i n g around frantically: Jeremy Contributors: Steve N , A n d y B , the P U s , S a m and hods o f sorrows for those I ' v e forgotten. Felix
is p r o d u c e d
f o r a n d b e h a l f o f the
Imperial College Union Publications Board and is p r i n t e d b y the I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e U n i o n Print Unit. Prince Consort R o a d . L o n d o n SW7
2 B B . (Tel: 071-225 8672).
Editor:
A d a m Harrington, Business M a n a g e r : Jeremy Copyright
Felix
1991. ISSN
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18 October 1991
Felix 913
Letters
Bailey's back and
Naff letter of the
boring as ever
week
Dear
Sexual H e a l i n g according to M a r v i n
Adam,
Re—Christian
Outreach
last
issue.
Why
a m I writing
this letter?
I wondered i f m y fellow students,
W e l l in a church i n East L o n d o n the local vicar publicly pronounced that
Union
could
tell
m e what has
he is not o n l y g ay but also carries
i n the
the A I D S v i r u s . H e says he c a n ' t
doctrine o f the C h u r c h o f E n g l a n d ?
understand w h y G o d has g i v e n h i m
I ' m talking about the case o f R e v
this disease. W e ' r e g o i n g to have
to forgiveness
T y l e r w h o was k i c k e d out o f his j o b
to let h i m w o r k that one out for
because
he c o u l d not resist 'the
himself.
B u t w i l l this geezer be
temptations o f the f l e s h ' f r o m one
charged
with ' b r i n g i n g the g a m e
of
into d i s r e p u t e ' . I think not.
his female
parishioners.
The
T h e R e v . T y l e r , w h o was k i c k e d
he behaved i n a w a y ' u n b e c o m i n g
out o f his family h o m e a n d g i v e n
to his p o s i t i o n ' , a sort o f b r i n g i n g
the elbow b y the c h u r c h , must think
the g a m e into disrepute I suppose!
himself
H e c o m f o r t e d his parishioner after
C h r i s t i a n U n i o n c o u l d e x p l a i n this
a bereavement
i n her f a m i l y , a n d
unlucky.
Perhaps
the
to m e , because it seems that i f R e v
to g i v e
her a
serious
on a
regular
basis.
c h o i r b o y s , collected funds for the
A p p a r e n t l y they were g o i n g at it
I R A o r c a m p a i g n e d for the release
comforting
this year. O r £2.50 to j o i n a n d see
T y l e r had interfered with one o f his
like rabbits for twelve m o n t h s , a n d
o f the ' R e n a u l t 5 ' then he w o u l d
y o u c o u l d say he took the l a y i n g o n
have been
forgiven.
o f hands a bit too far! C o u l d this
Yours
as
always,
have been based o n the G o s p e l o f
Alan
Bailey.
the
stress y o u must be under. I suppose
film.
Yours,
it must have been stress to call the Science Fiction society ' F i l m S o c ' as
Alex
McLintock,
ICSF
Chairentity.
y o u d i d in ' W h a t ' s O n ' last F e l i x . Y o u even left I C S F i n the message
This is one of the most pathetic
itself. But what's m o r e , in the same
letters I have ever seen. It speaks
issue, y o u printed an article about
volumes on the state of mind of
the film i n w h i c h I C S F was mispelt
an I C S F trainspotter that they
TCOF'.
as
The
Society
of
OmniFiction?
to
misprint
Unbound'—a
think the universe shakes at the misspelling of one of their entries.
C a n I ask whether y o u are g o i n g
c h u r c h c o u r t ' s reasoning was that
continued
Adam,
I just wanted to enquire about the
w h o are m e m b e r s o f the C h r i s t i a n happened
Dear
Gaye?
'Frankenstein
film
based
o n the
I do not have the time to proof read
everything
McLintock
but
finds
since
Mr
typographical
story b y B r i a n A l d i s s ? S h o w n b y
errors so obscene I now
the Imperial C o l l e g e U n i o n Society
him
of
E d i t o r , and he is now responsible
Science Fiction,
Fantasy a n d
to
elevate
Typographical
Error
H o r r o r . T a k i n g place o n T u e s d a y
for organising proof-reading
O c t o b e r 22, 7 p m in M e c h E n g 220.
this
T h e cost w i l l b e £1 to members w h o
complaints of such errors must be
have already seen one o f o u r films
directed towards h i m .
office.
Henceforward
in any
Adam.
UROP: Undergraduate Research Opportunities Programme Are you thinking of doing paid U R O P work with a member of I C faculty during the summer vacation 1992? If you are, please try to settle details as soon as possible so that the member of faculty can, if necessary, apply for funds.
It makes my job worthwhile Dear
Also, note: deadline for applications for the Delaware (USA) exchange - Friday, 15 November. (Information meeting at 13.30 on Wednesday 6 November in room 342 Mech.Eng.) For further details of the UROP scheme, see the UROP 1991-1992 Directory available (free) from the UROP office, Room 313C, Level 3, Mechanical Engineering Building.
n e w s p a p e r ' as b e i n g suitably l o w
Editor,
I would
wholeheartedly
like to
agree with y o u r proposal to change
key
thus
preventi n g
a
situation
similar to the present one arising i n
the name o f F e l i x . Personally, I find
another fifty years. T h e use o f little
the m a n n e r o f e x - I C students w h o
letters is deliberate so as to fit w i t h
automatically
y o u r ' e d i t o r i a l ' heading (I
ask after
F e l i x , as
though it w e r e a fixture a n d fitting
suggest
that
o f college life, painful almost to the
consistency
would
i n the interests y o u write
all
of
your
point o f being patronising. In these
headlines i n l o w e r case). F i n a l l y , i n
times,
case people shoul d w o r r y that this
when
the g o v e r n m e n t
is
education
w o u l d detract f r o m the relevance o f
system so liberally, I see little point
F e l i x T h e C a t , he c o u l d a l w a y s be
in
renamed
running
the
further
maintaining
such
trivial
connections with O l d Centralians et at. As sound
—15—
Yours for the n e w n a m e , of
'the i m p e r i a l
' T h e imperial
college
newspaper c a t ' . faithfully,
try the
Daniel
Shields,
college
P . S . K e e p u p the g o o d
Elec
Eng
2.
work!
18 October 1991
Felix 913
News
Blue Chip Rag
Nobel Prize
Afro-Carlb Ban T h e A f r o - C a r i b b e a n Society c o u l d
The Nobel
soon be a l l o w e d to h o l d events i n
been
P r i z e for P h y s i c s has
won
by
Pierre-Gilles
de
R a g has raised £11,290 so
G e n n e s o f Paris for his w o r k o n
charities,
£8,290
Deputy
liquid
Monopoly
w i l l go to
approached
by
Afro-Caribbean
has
been
members
of
the
Society w h o
have
asked h i m to lift the two year o l d
crystals.
Chemistry
The
was
won
prize by
for
Richard
E r n s t o f S w i t z e r l a n d for his w o r k on Nuclear Magnetic
Resonance.
ban.
farthis=
year. £200 w i l l go to the elected rag
the U n i o n . Jonathan Griffiths, I C U President,
Vocation Testing
raised
from
MENCAP,
from
usi ng
w i l l go to A c t i o n A i d .
qualification than A - l e v e l s .
About
270
students
were
'attracted
attention
from
too narrow an education and they w o u l d prefer a vocationally
E l l i s . H e said that this 'far exceeded
test.
police.'
Mr
Griffiths suggested that the Society
Oxford Uni haul into 20th C
and
added that the next rag event
was
choice about whether to use animals
the Great Sightseeing Challenge this
during practical sessions, the C V C P
After
Saturday.
have
calls to g i v e
decreed
departments
areas in order to show g o o d intent
treat the issue.
to the B a r
committee to lift the b a n .
subAs
Professor R i c h a r d South w o o d , one
it
time professor at I C and now V i c e
stands, the ban extends to all college
C h a n c e l l o r o f O x f o r d U n i v e r s i t y , is
rooms.
re-vamping
their
old
system to prepare
collegiate
it for
a
E. German Teaching
raise m o r e than £300 m i l l i o n to try
Eastern
and
lecturers to i m p r o v e the quality o f
compete
College
implementing
is
Professor
to
its
start Equal
line with harassment
period,
C a r o l i n e F o x , D i rector o f Personnel
make
an
offence
regulations
staff
attempt
particularly at the b e g i n n i n g o f the
also being Rob
for staff
reduce
arranged. Manpower
Planning Manager,
told F e l i x that
'we want to show we care about the
year.
Thefts Round-Up
had no information about how the programme was being implemented
A motor-cycle was stolen this week
but that he expected feedback
by
f r o m the b i c y c l e rack by the C i v i l
November.
He on
declined
the
to
Engineering building. Security have
he
said that they are b e g i n n i n g to get
ongoing
v e r y c o n c e r n e d that people are not
cost
explained that it was
an
as
exercise.
A u g u s t . C h r i s R i l e y f r o m I C and
the
German in
Bonn,
occured
departmental
Disturbance
from
an
money
office
in
was
taken
Mechanical
E n g i n e e r i n g . T h e box had been left
T h e Police were called to the U n i o n
in
B a r o n W e d n e s d a y night after
a
unattended office. T e r r y B r i l e y o f
an
unlocked
drawer
in
an
serious
a
the security office told F e l i x that
second year C h e m i c a l E n g i n e e r i n g
people should 'not leave anything
student entered and attempted to
unattended e v e n for a short p e r i o d
assault students and
of time.'
disturbance
in
which
staff. Steve
A n attempt was made to steal a
Farrant, I C U H o n Sec, who in turn
brand new F o r d Sierra f r o m the car
student
threatened
threatened
to ban
him from
the
park
during
U n i o n B u i l d i n g . T h e student started
Tuesday.
r a n d o m l y attacking people
bonnet
working thief
the A t l a s
mountains
M o r o c c o by b i c y c l e .
THIRD W O R L D DEBT CRISIS October
12.00-2.00pm JCR
fuses
but was
were
therefore unsuccessful.
They
referred
the
the
on
No
come along to our stall and sign a petition to reduce the debt. ALSO:
Thursday 24th October 12.45-1.45pm a talk from the W o r l d Development Movement
the
' m a d e a bit o f a b o d g e ' and
called.
change
hours opened
bar, at w h i c h point college security
in the
to
The
arrest
disturbance to the B a r M a n a g e r who
has been made in c o n n e c t i o n with
then called the P o l i c e .
this incident.
last
two other students made an attempt to cross
taking care o f their property. A cash box c o n t a i n i n g £150 o f
The
expedition
T u e s d a y 22
people we e m p l o y ' . H e said that he
comment
European interested
Exchange
which
o n the
assaults
are
Letham,
travel offices
the
contact
Germany.
vacancies
training p r o g r a m m e
should
student
Those
within
Community.
themselves can now be d i s c i p l i n e d
c o l l e g e ' s p o l i c y o n advertising j o b procedure. A monitoring group and
w h i c h promotes
Academic
to
A poster exhibition has been put up
travel
the
for abuse o f other m e m b e r s o f the
interviewing
is
in
U n i v e r s i t y . H e said that it was an
and
100
in the S T A
has
A d m i n i s t r a t i v e services,
requires
Sherfield w a l k w a y w h i c h c o v e r s a
published a d o c u m e n t stating the
and
to
scheme'
about
students,
individual
must d e c i d e h o w
sexual
students
of
a
being organised under the ' E r a s m u s
is
U n i v e r s i t y . In order to c o m e into
18
discussion
to
Germany
their education. T h e exchange
Southwood
harassment
Opportunities Programme. After an month
American
U n i v e r s i t i e s like H a r v a r d .
attempting Imperial
with
that
students
Expedition Exhibition
more
market based system. H e hopes to
Equal Opportunities
based
anything anyone h a d before'
held some events in n o n - l i c e n s e d before appealing
They
produce
licensed
considerable
the
say that traditional exams
the R a g C h a i r m a n , M a r c ' P e n g u i n '
areas o f the U n i o n as the society's events
have
announced that they want a broader
i n v o l v e d in M o n o p o l y a c c o r d i n g to society
and P r i n c i p a l s , the C V C P ,
and £2,800 raised by tiddlywinking
stopped
T h e B a r sub-committee the
T h e Committee o f V i c e Chancellors
SEE W H A T ' S O N
in