http://www.felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1991/1991_0917_A by Ravi Pall

Security Privatisation College

security

replaced

according

staff

private

are

Gordon

Director of College

contractors, Marshall,

Estates. In a

letter to all security, messenger and traffic staff o n the South Kensington c a m p u s , he said that due to a 'need to modernise systems' the C o l l e g e was p r o p o s i n g to 'contract out the w h o l e o f this area o f o p e r a t i o n s ' . In a meeting o f all affected last

Monday,

President

Derek

the

staff

Dollard,

Manufacturing,

S c i e n c e and F i n a n c e T r a d e U n i o n ( M S F ) , said that he b e l i e v e d that costs w o u l d not i n fact be cut, but college

would

somewhere else'.

'wasting

added

it that

'nobody will get anything out o f this except

outside

contractors'.

called for the unions to 'shut d o w n this

place

Governing

the

day

Body

the

meeting

subject

December)

to the

result o f a ballot, o f c o u r s e . ' T h i s ballot

due

taken

Wednesday. In his letter, G o r d o n

Marshall

stated that a p e r i o d o f one m o n t h ' s consultation was left o p e n to talk with the unions. Steven N e w b o l d , Director o f M a r k e t i n g , inferred that withdrawal

the proposal

was

u n l i k e l y , stating that the proposal 'would

not

have

been

brought

forward at an immature stage'. T h e

T h e F i r e B r i g a d e were called out

staff under threat have been g i v e n

last

the hope that they can be redeployed

Engineering

Friday

the

Mechanical

building

when

the

so the B r i g a d e were c a l l e d . M r Rogers told F e l i x that 'he d i d not think anything when he saw the

' w i t h i n the college, or elsewhere in

departmental superintendent, C o l i n

fire engines, since fire engines are

the U n i v e r s i t y o f L o n d o n ' . If this

Rogers,

attempted

is not possible then the staff w i l l

building

have to take voluntary redundancy,

alarm.

have

compulsory

redundancy

forced u p o n t h e m .

setting

to off

clear

the

continually d r i v i n g up and

the

fire

E x h i b i t i o n R o a d ' and added that o n reflection

M r R o g e r s explained that he had

embarrassed'

he and

was

down

'acutely

'would

EGM There

is to be

Extraordinary

been g i v e n the j o b o f m a n n i n g the

better next t i m e . ' A spokesman for

General

messengers

the

the fire brigade said that they must

T h u r s d a y 28 N o v e m b e r , in M e c h

told F e l i x that although the matter

messengers and security were at the

treat every call as i f it were a real

Eng

was

Trade

the

fire and that they only hoped that

Officer,

b u i l d i n g had to be cleared at 5.30

when called to these incidences they

Transport Officer will be contested.

Sue S h a r p , secretary o f I C M S F ,

look

' u n d e r negotiation, hopeful.'

She

it d i d n ' t

added

that a

desk

whilst

U n i o n meeting. being

locked

for

the

were not b e i n g called away

petition is to be posted at messenger

prior

desks and w i l l be passed o n to the

weekend, the fire alarm was set off.

real

Rector, S i r E r i c A s h , when enough

T h e authorities in Sherfield had not

lives.

signatures are

been notified that there was no fire,

amassed.

When

incidences w h i c h

220.

Meeting The

(EGM)

posts

Publicity

Welfare

Officer

and

from

Papers for these posts are o n the

threatened

central staircase, opposite the U n i o n O f f i c e , in Beit Q u a d .

15 November 1991

Felix 917

Letters

Two thousand meals thrown away Dear

Adam,

Thank

y o u for

featuring

the

meals

each

week,

regardless

report o n L i n s t e a d H a l l meals, in

whether they ate them o r not. T h i s

stopped joining

many

residents

any clubs

from

a n d societies

was

thrown

away.

W e find this

level o f wastage unacceptable. Attempts

have

been

made

issue 9 1 5 . I a m writing o n behalf

decision was taken when there were

w h i c h require them to miss their

o f the residents o f L i n s t e a d H a l l , in

no students a r o u n d to raise their

e v e n i n g meals. W i t h a rent b i l l this

order to e x p l a i n the situation m o r e

objections.

term o f £874.95 (single room), they

was

feel that they cannot afford to d o

Wednesdays

this.

now available throughout the week.

fully.

It is impossible for all residents

A l t h o u g h Linstead H a l l provides

attend

meals

6 p m each

L i n s t e a d residents pay £2.95 p e r

are

involving

m e a l , and yet I calculated the value

college,

themselves with the sports, hobbies

o f the packed tea to be less than £2.

g o i n g h o m e , not l i k i n g the meal o n

and socialising that is as m u c h a part

Residents are n o w telling m e that

o f university life as the academic

the value has been reduced further

work.

still.

always been possible for residents

i n v o l v e d with many societies and

to sign out, and receive a rebate for

clubs,

up to two meals a week. H o w e v e r , d u r i n g the s u m m e r vacation it was

offer,

decided

cannot be at all meals, o r d o not

the rebate

system

w o u l d be c h a r g e d for five e v e n i n g

discourage

evening.

working

Residents

late

or s i m p l y g o i n g out, either

need one.

first

years,

from

T h e s e problems cannot simply be

Unfortunately this new policy has

Adam, your

Professor

signing-out and rebate system to be

suggested.

reasons, there is also a moral issue. The prepare

C a t e r i n g Department n o w about

188 meals

each

food prepared for these residents

B o a r d o f Studies o n 23 rd O c t o b e r had already been pre-empted by the

month i n w h i c h to r e p l y .

statement

this p e r i o d

we sent a

1991-92

i n the ' C o l l e g e to

1994-95'

published

states

a c c o m m o d a t i o n w i l l be increased

as well

'The

lecturers, asking for their v i e w s o n

during

the

teaching

likely

effects

extended

utilisation

the 1992-93 outside

timetabled h o u r s . . . '

childcare,

Yours Laura ICAUT.

research

and

other

A s v e r y little enthusiasm for the

session

w o r k i n g hours o n their travelling, activities.

Adam,

It truly is a dow nri ght disgrace, w h y , o h w h y , c a n ' t people m i n d their o w n business.

sincerely, Barker,

Secretary,

Games & Toys Father Christmas Fun and Feasting Gluhwein for grown-ups Magic shows Present Making

tuppence h a ' p e n n y . T h a t ' s called blamed

o n the a b y s m a l IC

what

y o u are

getting at with y o u r ' p u s s y ' fetish.

at I C . T . H . H u x l e y d i d n ' t believe

I w o u l d like to c o m m e n d y o u o n

in g o d yet they n a m e d the maths

y o u r coverage o f the recent spate o f

building

dog buggering

Jesus,

who d i d , was nailed to a tree. W h e n w i l l we hear the w h o l e story? In this day and age surely we can expect

higher

standards

o f oral

hygiene. W h a t d o they teach school c h i l d r e n these days? I say we must return to the o l d values. N o m o r e lax m o r a l s , easy money

* * * * * *

and fast girls. I c a n still

Do come! It's going to be a marvellous day, full of fun and feasting. If necessary borrow a child! Play games - make a special present marvel at the magic of Bill Coates (of TV fame, from The Royal Institution) - gasp at spectacular experiments - greet the St Mary's Skeleton - watch Tim Rowett demonstrate his great toys from the past - see Father Christmas arrive careering around the Tower on his sleigh!

level o f

student grants. However,

It is h a r d to be a ' r e a l ' christian

h i m , while

some

term—by

inflation. O f course all this c a n be

v e r y strongest terms.

after

currently

remember the days when bread cost

I feel I must write to y o u o n the

before

Tuppence ha'penny Dear

that we c a n reach

d u r i n g the s u m m e r , w h i c h clearly

who include administrative, library staff

solution

Sunday 1 December 91 2.30 - 5.30pm

Plan

and

computing

hoping

they be, w h e n the discussion b y the

at the e n d o f M a y , a n d g i v e n a During

have got absolutely no w he r e . I a m

for their consideration. W h y should

c o m m e n t s by the Personnel O f f i c e

questionnaire to all o u r m e m b e r s ,

with

Yours sincerely, Elizabeth J Holmes, Hall Convenor.

not passed o n to the w o r k i n g party

for o u r

in contact

w h i c h time at least 2,000 meals will

the w e e k, M o n d a y 7 - F r i d a y 11

asked

been

have been t h r o w n a w a y .

O c t o b e r 1991, at least 2 5 % o f the

were

have

159 residents revealed that d u r i n g

the results o f the questionnaire and

C o l l e g e A d m i n i s t r a t i o n , but so far

are to be eaten o r not. A survey o f

the specific c o m m e n t s made were

that

re-introduced immediately.

we were not unduly surprised that

S w a n s o n ' s letter about the C o l l e g e

Y o u m a y be interested to know

W e want the o l d

p r o p o s e d changes was expressed,

D a y , y o u asked whether the T r a d e U n i o n s had been consulted.

situation is totally

meals, as has been

evening, regardless o f whether they In

whole

unsatisfactory.

A p a r t f r o m o u r objections to this

More college day

The

resolved by changing the time o f the

new system for financial and social

Dear

available o n

and F r i d a y s , but is

of whom

weekday

that

o r i g i n a l l y only

residents—the majority

five e v e n i n g meals a week, it has

w o u l d be s c r a p p e d , and residents

It is w r o n g

introduce a packed tea option. T h i s

What more could anyone young at heart desire?

attacks.

Poetic justice has little to d o with rhyming

There are deaf children and children from the primary schools in the Pimlico Project coming to the Caper. It you would like to help us entertain them, please contact the HUB Office.

couplets o r the j u d i c i a l

system in M a r x i s t B r i t a i n . S o , w h y does T o n y T i g e r wear panty liners with security tabs?

M. Schaeffer, P.S.

Also

Maths (2)

to the person w h o

threw up in the foyer last F r i d a y : WELL

Under 5 years = Free 5-14 = £1.50

Adults =£2.50 Tk*ets From: HUB 355 Sheffield Building Imperial College SW7 2A2 Exts. 3405/3021

tf you want a child to be excited and ignited by the wonders of Science, Technology and Medicine, what better place to start than an unforgettable party the IC Christmas Caper!

DONE!!

— 2—

15 November 1991

G r o w Dear

Felix 917

u p

Adam,

A n t i

little difficult circumstances. T h i s c o u l d

A g a i n we see apathy mentioned

Letters

due

the

existence

a little. G r o w up a little. RCSU

better.

G u l f

Silly,

with respect to I C students both in

sabbaticals and a m o r e c o m m i t t e d

immature

the

affect

breed o f students being involved on

think

students (Poll T a x , (see y o u all in

the organisational side (for instance

stories about how drunk they can

court on the 21st), student loans and

the

get

all the other ridiculously unfair and

contact, bei ng the secretary o f I C

information

stupid educational reforms brought

JapanSoc).

pints o f weak lager). If anyone is

Gulf

sad e n o u g h to want into this little

27th N o v e m b e r , by a representative

c l i q u e , they should be prepared o n

the

degree

Organisation. E v e n though I believe

specifically R C S U as that is the one

(usually Physics) (I open this second

that the Palestinians certainly have

I've

bracket

realm

issues

that

in by the present government)

and

connection

with

college

U n i o n activities. enough

with

whom

In short, although

not

have

perfect,

I C U does O K . L e t ' s look at the C C U s , or m o r e

T h e first issue is most c r u c i a l — not

OSC,

students

make

not

been

a member

o f for

five

little people

w a r

farts and

are no

who

funny, doubt

still

swapping lying

I fall o v e r after

w hole

fail

their

remind

people

Dear

Adam.

I a m writing to y o u to protest

(for

against

two

meeting o f the ' A n t i W a r

that

the

participation

Society the

held

Palestine

right

voice

Thursday

Liberation

their

opinion,

degrees are after all what the loose

especially in these recent times o f

organisation

peace conferences, I feel personally

posing

the

G o v e r n m e n t pay most o f us to get),

threatened by h a v i n g a m e m b e r o f

sing a r i d i c u l o u s tribal tune (to m y

an active terrorist organisation to

shame I do know the words) and get

represent

into S c i F i

question was announce d as h a v i n g

as an excuse

face

them.

The

person

reality. A n y o n e who doesn't believe

spent ten years in an Israeli p r i s o n and one certainly doesn't receive a

two o f us) and sample that rapier

sentence

wit o f the contributers. It's pathetic,

through a red light. Until

the

that

PLO

for

give

driving

their

k n o w it C C U hacks are n o r m a l l y

o n g o i n g terrorist activities, I feel

regarded as figures o f ridicule or

they have no right to a free platform

wankers,

or both. W h e n

are y o u

in a place like this, especially in a

going to learn, apart f r o m the hacks

supposedly apolitical college. O n l y

themselves,

for

whom exist

the

a couple o f weeks ago, an Israeli

bus was attacked and a mother o f

organisations

really

serve—Nobody

gives a s * * t about

seven c h i l d r e n was

the R C S U (and I suspect, the other

killed.

two).

renounce

I d o n ' t k n o w how m u c h the

C C U s receive f r o m the U n i o n per student, but I'd

PLO

their

among

have

those

failed

covenant

states their aims o f the destruction o f the J e w i s h State and c l a i m s that every Jew is a legitimate target for

until 1987 if it's all the same to y o u

their terrorist activities. I a m sure

that y o u w o u l d agree with m e in

seen

benefit

having meetings like this prevented

A s for the hacks, it's not too late, realising and admitting that y o u have got a p r o b l e m is h a l f o f the

in the future.

Yours faithfully. Gaby Pell. Physics

battle as they say. W h a t is the point in trying to perpetuate the w o r n out o l d m y t h that I C has got

college

spirit w h e n y o u k n o w that that's a load o f c r a p . I've seen m o r e spirit at

the

annual

convention

A l c o h o l i c s A n o n y m o u s — l e t ' s all be enough fuss about the slings and

years

much

honest. Before y o u all say 'but with

arrows hurled at them from o n high

different?). I ' m p r o m p t e d to write

twats around like y o u , there never

that make l i v i n g as a student in

mostly as a result o f reading the

will be a college spirit' I really don't

London

article

give a s * * t , we all find our own way

oppose d

simply

others

Mascotry

both

s u r v i v i n g , d a m n nigh impossible.

Broadsheet and F e l i x . T h i s seems

T h i s is v e r y , very sad (unless o f

to typify the C C U s . M a s c o t r y , for

(as C o n f u c i u s said). Whatever

heaven's sake w h y ? L i k e most o f

pretence that C C U s have a vital role

why).

the things connected with C C U s it

to play that the w o r d ' C C U h a c k '

S e c o n d l y , U n i o n matters. T h i s

strikes me as a complete waste o f

is anything m o r e than a term o f

can be conveniently d i v i d e d into

time, t r y i n g to steal little bits o f

disparagement.

two-ICU

metal d u r i n g missions planned to

mascots, a b o l i s h the C C U s and let

alleviate

the associated clubs make out o n

believe, infected

although with

the

still

slightly

disease

that

severe

sexual

frustration no doubt felt by these immature

cases.

the

T h e d e a d l i n e f o r l e t t e r s is 1 2 . 3 0 p m , the

Monday

before publication. Please

we d o , let's stop the

g o v e r n m e n t , can't imagine

the

LETTERS

p u t l e t t e r s i n the

Editor's pigeonhole

course y o u happen to agree with the

and the C C U s . I C U , I

which

cash in hand right n o w — b a c k d a t e d have

The

prefer

whatsoever.

the

me should read Broadsheet (making

it's c l i q u e y and in case they d i d n ' t

(can

in the

Abolish

their o w n . O h by the w a y ,

the

Felix

All

i n the

Office.

letters s h o u l d

address

to t h e E d i t o r , i . e .

'Dear

Editor' or

Adam'

'Dear

n o t to a n y

3rd

party.

mine's

a bottle o f 1080, anyone here read

deludes the sufferer into b e l i e v i n g

sad'

that e v e r y b o d y needs them and that

mascoteers applied themselves to

the new

they are m o r e important than they

their respective degrees with the

armadola, kangela armadola...

really are, does basically a good j o b

same level o f enthusiasm as they do

on everyone y o u k n o w the w o r d s . . .

in terms o f events, the U n i o n B a r

to mascotry

and the like. T h e y w o r k well under

status o f the college might just rise

then the intellectual

— 3 —

Asimov

novel?

Matthew 'Mary' Slater, Aromatherapy PG II.

Kangela

come

All

letters s h o u l d

s i g n e d b y the a u t h o r n a m e s c a n be w i t h h e l d request.

but by

Felix 917

Editorial

15 November 1991

I received a number o f features after

bizarre.

the deadline this w e e k, i n c l u d i n g

Security

the next g r i p p i n g chapter o f ' T h e

It has to be said that the C o l l e g e

Inner S y s t e m ' . T h e y w i l l go in next

authorities are, once again, p l a y i n g

what it was about. T h i s leads to One

H u m a n B o e i n g , provides a F e l i x the

week.

their card in a high handed manner.

conclusions:

C a t cartoon b y 12.30 next M o n d a y .

deadline o f 12.30 Monday.

V i r t u a l l y the entirety o f C o l l e g e

E v e r y b o d y is trying to cover up; the

A t the time o f writing £42 worth o f

The Union Onion

messengers and security have been

source o f the leaflet was t r y i n g to

sponsorship has been p r o m i s e d . I

Steve

told that their services w i l l not be

mislead us; o r we d i d n ' t research

guarantee I w i l l eat the hat - m a y b e

structure o f the U n i o n o n the page

needed as o f next February to make

enough. T h e former seems unlikely

o v e r a week - i f I receive a cartoon

facing started its tiny life as a space

way

by the deadline. C o m e into the F e l i x

filler because when I d i d the page

attended the T r a d e U n i o n meeting

allocation o n M o n d a y there was a

last

Please

try to keep

to the

N e w h o u s e ' s article o n the

interesting Guards

for

researching

private

Monday,

contractors.

attended

by many

accusations. the story,

all parties

concerned c l a i m e d they had n o idea the f o l l o w i n g

the story

wasn't

really is

minute' and

' I ' l l finish it i n a

Butcher,

ex-Felix

'nutritionally

editor

challenged'

quite

office and put y o u r name d o w n for

possible and so is the t h i r d . If the

a p o u n d o r two, and i f the Chapeau-

important;

the second

that

week i f A n d y

large hole left o v e r . It has turned

such messengers, w h i c h seemed to

source o f the letter c o u l d

please

mangant event doesn't c o m e to pass

out to be a very interesting exercise

be heavily steamrollered b y D e r e k

make contact with m e (8672) to

because the cartoon d i d not appear,

Dollard,

c o n f i r m its veracity I w o u l d

y o u w i l l not have to c o u g h u p .

management

Union

cannot

structure be d r a w n

- the in two

president

Manufacturing,

the

Science

and

appreciate

most

it. Y o u d o n ' t have to

Credits N e w s : Stef, Jonty, E m m a

dimensions; the m i n i m u m required

F i n a n c e T r a d e U n i o n . H e seemed

give any identification, so I w o n ' t

and N i n a . R e v i e w s :

is at least six. O n e o f the m a i n

intent o n c onvi nc i n g those attending

reveal w h o y o u are.

and their hordes o f henchpersons.

Matt,

Sumit

sticking points are the Constituent

that a strike was inevitable and

Thefts i n B a d Taste

C o l l e g e U n i o n s ( C C U s ) w h i c h are

desirable.

Felix

smaller versions o f the main Student

said rather bitterly that the Student

Masterpiece o f G o t h i c Architecture,

Union,

Union

D a v i d S p o o n e r , has been suffering

Tamer:

serious

T h o m p s o n . Cartoons: E l v i s Parsley

and

are

financially

subservient to it. T h e c o n u n d r u m is

O n e o f those attending

had done

nothing to help

t h e m , whilst l o o k i n g at m e . T h i s

'Music'

mental

M u s i c R e v i e w s : P o d d y , D a v i d and

Editor

and

aberrations

this

Cair

Bear.

Typestertrtrererrt:

Rose (3515) @ k i n s . D a e m o n R y o b i Andy

'Hrumph'

e x e m p l i f i e d b y the position o f St

makes m e cross. F i r s t l y , I a m not

week.

M a r y ' s C o l l e g e U n i o n w h i c h was

babies, m y babies' whilst tearing at

Khurrum.

described

Union,

his rather v i s i b l e hair roots. T h e

Section E d i t o r s : P e n g u i n a n d the

meeting

the last

Council

as an 'independent a n d

representative I

Student

o f the Student

a m the editor Union

o f the

newspaper,

and

H e has been

wailing ' m y

and

Andy

Sports

Rag Week

Editor: Pull-Out

reason? S o m e b o d y has n i c k e d his

'Tooting'

Bee. High

secondly it is not the j o b o f the

collection

Mammon:

Jeremy.

autonomous and constituent? T h e r e

Student

the

office. If y o u value the content o f

Simon,

messengers unless it is obvious that

y o u r F e l i x , please return t h e m to

S i m o n , Z o e , Steves N and F , D a v i d

autonomous

CCU'.

considerable

Independent, scope

for

Union

protect

records

from

Stefagain.

Priest

Photography: Odd

Bods:

improvement in efficiency in U n i o n

such action w i l l adversely

structure; there appears to be a large

students. It is not o b v i o u s .

them to the benefit o f all humanity.

T o b y , J o n n y D , R i c h a r d , Jennifer,

amount o f repetition o f services and

Strange

L e a v i n g aside m y o p i n i o n s as to

James. A l s o the H e r o i c , the Selfless

D a v i d ' s musical taste ( ' T h e M i s t e r s

and the F o r g o t t e n .

m u c h difficulty o n the part o f the student

as to w h o they

approach

for

what

shoul d

service.

honestly don't know the answer and I a m not t r y i n g to v i c t i m i s e any o r all o f the C C U s , it just seems rather

affect

Letters

O c c a s i o n a l l y we receive unsolicited m a i l at the F e l i x office. T h i s week we got a leaflet p u r p o r t i n g to be a document

from

(Association Teachers)

the

A U T

University

c o n t a i n i n g some

rather

PART 1. ft LI X HAS BEEN 6ETTIN& CONCERNEP ABOUT IC STUDENTS...

IT'S TIME Of

me a n d I w i l l h u m a n e l y

destroy

Lane,

the other C a i r B e a r , Ian,

o f Surtsey', ' T h e T r a m p s ' and ' T h e Trains'),

theft is theft a n d is not

acceptable. Please return t h e m .

Sponsor M e I have undertaken to eat a hat next

HARD BASTARD v

ON A TRICYCLE (?)

BEHIND HARD BASTARD EELIX COULP . SEE SOMETHING COMING! (UNCANNY,EHyj

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V J H £ R £ T H £ HELL

SCRIPT

C O ?

15 November 1991

Felix 917

Union

The best way to describe the

any

• I C U R e s o l v e s : 1. T h a t standard

motions to reach the floor was to

U n i o n C o m m i t t e e structure is as an

C h a i r p e r s o n , are debated and voted

sabbatical

ban

o n i o n : a c o m p l e x layered structure

upon. If passed they b e c o m e U n i o n

designed. 2. Sizes suitable for all

and

Law

the sabbaticals to be p u r c h a s e d .

cut

officers.

committees,

responsibility.

power

Trying

student

advance

and must be o b e y e d These

can

the

by all

cover

uniforms

should

smoking

at C o u n c i l

and all

U n i o n C o m m i t t e e s . T w o out o f the four

were

sabbaticals

vigorously

oppose d to this m o t i o n , and they

such

diverse topics as the role o f w o m e n

• I C U Instructs: 1. A l l sabbaticals

retaliated by a m e n d i n g the m o t i o n

w or ki ng s c a n b r i n g tears to y o u r

at I C ,

must wear their appropiate uniform

to include the eating o f chocolate.

eyes. In this, and following articles,

service their needs, to the mental

at all times.

T h i s was passed, annoying both the

the U n i o n w i l l be peeled apart layer

stability

by layer.

Felix E d i t o r or any other sabbatical.

through the layers

and trace its

and what c a n be done to and

c o m p e t e nc e

President, and M a r c E l l i s (a.k.a.

the

Penguin,

Rag

Chairman),

who

spent the rest o f the meeting sniffing at his chocolate bar.

Definition of Terms U n i o n O f f i c e r s : T h e s e are u n p a i d , elected students that are responsible for

a small area o f the

Onion

Structure

Major Sub Committees (MSC) T h e purpose o f the six M S C s is to

Union's

the

students through their clubs

and

These include Transport, Publicity,

societies

The

Post-Graduate

Housing,

S o c i a l , C u l t u r a l and A m u s e m e n t s

W e l f a r e , R a g , E n t s , W o m e n ' s and

B o a r d ( S C A B ) is responsible for all

many others.

activity, Union

and

answerable

General

Meeting

These

represent

the

(UGM).

Affairs,

Sabbaticals:

are

the

affiliated

ICU.

entertainment

Publications

paid

interests

Board

societies. (Pub

Board)

U n i o n O f f i c e r s that w o r k full time

represents the m e d i a societies, i.e.

for the U n i o n . T h e U n i o n

print,

Office

radio

and

television.

Athletics Clubs Committee

sabbaticals are responsible for the

The

(ACC)

day to day r u n n i n g o f the U n i o n .

represents all the sports teams that

T h i s includes responsibility for the

play in leagues. Recreational C l u b s

major areas o f the U n i o n ' s

Committee ( R C C )

work

is in charge o f

and to represent the students o n

all clubs that indulge in recreational

College

The

final

activities.

Unit

C o m m i t t e e ( O S C ) provides a social

committees.

sabbatical

the

Overseas

Manager/Felix E d i t o r , who ensures

structure

that the U n i o n can produce publicity

F i n a l l y the Social C l u b s C o m m i t t e e

and documents at the

is responsible for religious, political

appropiate

and

time. Students

are

for

Clubs

foreign

pressure

students.

groups,

and

miscellaneous societies.

automatically

members o f Imperial C ol l ege U n i o n and for whose benefit

(ICU)

the

Union Finance Committee (UFC)

U n i o n is r u n . A n y student has the

This

right to attend any U n i o n meeting

always guarantees v i g o r o u s debate

where they

will

have

very

important

committee

observing

as e v e r y o n e scrambles for the few

rights, except disciplinary hearings.

pennies tossed into the air by the

Speaking

D e p u t y President ( D P )

rights

UGM/EGM

are

Meetings)

General

given

(Extraordinary and

w h o is the

c h a i r m a n o f these meetings.

the

The

biggest hot potato this year

c h a i r p e r s o n ' s discretion.

deftly

STUDENTS

handled

responsibility

the D P forms

was when were

The Union General Meeting

discussed.

The

created by last y e a r ' s sabbaticals to

most

powerful

Union

organisation is the U G M .

These

M o t i o n s are easy produce and can

must be held at least once a t e r m ,

range f r o m the serious to the v e r y

define

responsible for the organisation o f

the

were

parts:

information,

forms

A l l motions are based o n these 4 factual

who

These

Union

and it is here that the students o f

s i l l y . A n y t h i n g c a n be

proposed,

reason for the m o t i o n , the aims o f

events,

Imperial

but whether it is passed depends o n

the m o t i o n , and h o w that m o t i o n

societies. T h e i r implementation this

w i l l be i m p l e m e n t e d . T h e y

must

year led to one resignation in an

also have a p r o p o s e r and seconder.

M S C and threats o f m a n y others.

College

Union

are

represented. E G M s can be called by

the attenders at the U G M .

anyone if they collect the signatures

highlights include an attempt

o f at least 100 U n i o n m e m b e r s . A t

sabbatical salaries to be increased

Recent for

every meeting there must be 250

to £20,000, and a m o t i o n defining

Council

people to satisfy q u o r u m - a mere

the U n i o n stance o n student loans.

T h i s is a m o r e streamlined v e r s i o n

4 % o f the student p o p u l a t i o n . A l l

H e r e is an e x a m p l e o f a m o t i o n :

the U n i o n O f f i c e r s and sabbaticals must attend to be questioned their

written

reports

(the

Felix

of a U G M

represented by their departmental • I C U Notes: 1. T h a t the President

representatives,

glows

societies by their respective M a j o r

too

brightly

diffuse

E d i t o r does not submit a written

sunlight and/or ultraviolet light. 2.

Sub

report),

That the Deputy President is always

their

after

normally

which

accepted.

they

The

Union

E x e c u t i v e s usually present a terse

sentences

actions Officers

the

to last

are

explain month.

with all the. students

well

dressed.

That

the

Hon

through (MSC),

Committee

and

Constituent C o l l e g e

(CCU)—City

their by

Union

Guilds

College

few

Sec(Events) has no dress sense at

Union,

their

all. 4. T h a t the F e l i x E d i t o r ought

U n i o n , R o y a l College o f Science

to wear cleaner trousers.

Union

The

are then subjected to an

intensive questioning session f r o m the floor, after w h i c h the report is passed.

Royal or

School

Mary's

Mines

Hospital

Medical School U n i o n . A l l U n i o n • ICU

Believes:

uniform appearance

would o f the

smart

improve sabbaticals

the at

Officers

are

answerable to these

meetings and must attend. Debate

can

very

vigorous

been

their frequent public displays and

when

passed the m o t i o n s , submitted by

around their respective w o r k places.

discussed. R e c e n t l y one o f the first

O n c e all the reports have

major

issues

are

being

and the activities o f

MOTIONS for EGM T h u r s d a y 28 N o v lpm, D u e i n by 5.30pm Tuesday 19 Nov Hand into U n i o n Office. F o r more info see article in this F E L I X .

the

Felix 917

Clubs & Societies

Goodfeiias

Environmental Soc

N e x t T h u r s d a y e v e n i n g F i l m S o c is

proud

Environment

present

the

highly

acclaimed G o o d F e l l a s . based o n the W i s e g u y , the true story

book mafia

supergrass

Henry

Hill,

Thursday

Technology John

the

In 1970 he received the First A w a r d

he has been the P h y s i c s consultant

Appropriate

o f the G r a v i t y Research Foundation

for

of New

written regularly for T h e T i m e s and

(21st)

and Society

Gribbin,

present

New

Scientist

correspondent, w h o w i l l give a talk

G o o d F e l l a s is an epic study o f the

m o b o v e r a 30-year p e r i o d .

Climatic

Ray Liotta ('Field of Dreams')

15 November 1991

the

Greenhouse

Effect

and

Change.

John G r i b b i n graduated f r o m the

B o s t o n (a rather

obscure

the

award) and joined the editorial staff

The

BBC

Nature.

1974

received

B r i t a i n ' s p r e m i e r science

writing

New

Scientist.

Guardian, World

has broadcast

and was an adviser for the T h a m e s Television

w o r k o n c l i m a t i c change. In 1975

greenhouse effect (back in

the

1983).

handsome

Sussex University and then went o n

Policy

S o , if y o u want to hear all this

to C a m b r i d g e U n i v e r s i t y where he

R e s e a r c h U n i t o f the U n i v e r s i t y o f

again c o m e along to M e c h E n g 220

elders despite his total ignorance o f

was

all things mafioso. W i t h the help o f

astrophysics, having researched into

likely impact o f c l i m a t i c change o n

psychotic hardman T o m m y D e V i t o

the properties o f v e r y dense stars.

w o r l d food supplies and since 1978

Henry

Hill,

the

( D i m i n u t i v e Joe Pesci o f fame)

Alone'

and

the

awarded

his

PhD

Sussex

Science

documentary

Irish youth adopted by his thuggish

plays

the

S e r v i c e and R a d i o 2

prize - T h e National A w a r d - for his joined

has

with a team studying the

at 12.45pm, or five minutes later if you don't! A d a m Ward - Biology

III.

'Home

enigmatic

J i m m y C o n w a y (Robert D e N i r o ) he soon

picks

the

essential

requirements for the j o b ,

namely

the ability to give a g o o d k i c k i n g , a total contempt for the law and an appetite

for

women

and

liquor.

V i o l e n t in the extreme, and d r i v e n along by a classic sound-track, the f i l m manages

to h o l d a relentless

grip o v e r m o r e than two The

film marks

return

form

hours.

magnificent the

acting-

directing duo o f Robert D e N i r o and M a r t i n Scorsese, cinematic

responsible

classics

such

D r i v e r and R a g i n g

Bull.

for Taxi

T h e f i lm will be shown at 7.30pm o n T h u r s d a y the 21 st N o v e m b e r in M e c h E n g 220. A d m i s s i o n w i l l be 80p

for

ÂŁ1.80

FilmSoc for

Membership ÂŁ6.00,

members

and

non-members. o f the society

which

costs

includes

entitlement to see one f i l m free.

Hockey team talk about who's buying the round.

Rock Society Pub Crawl F o r those w h o d i d n ' t turn up, y o u

this,

missed an excellent night out. F o r

f r o m K e i t h , the U L U president, we managed to j u m p the queue. A b o u t

scrapped.

rendition

'Sweet

Child

M i n e ' . A f t e r a q u i c k pint or two it was then o n to ' T h e G e o r g e ' .

International H a l l ' s bar (thanks for

trying Paul!) we left the U L U

continued o n to ' T h e A s t o r i a ' and

made

for

'The George'

'The

Sun'.

bar

From

the

The

bunch

who knows what went o n there. I d i d n ' t - I c o u l d n ' t afford it.

whatever

T h e r e will probably be a trip back to ' T h e S w a n ' for the next karaoke

note

taking i n

intrepid

pubs we hit along the way. O n e o f particular

Manoeuvre.

A f t e r a failed attempt to get into

there it was the quickest route to

the Unleichlich

persuasion

fifteen o f us then treated the p u b to

and

lobotomy;

some

the binge. N o b o d y f r o m U C L turned up, so

frontal

after

those who d i d here's a refresher o f

the o r i g i n a l route was

Do-it-yourself

and

Swan'

night while many other events are

where it was karaoke night. T h e r e

was

'The

being planned, so watch the notice

was too m u c h temptation to resist

board for details.

Clubs & Societies

Felix 917

15 November 1991

t T h e E v o l u t i o n a r y Basis o f M o r a l s . H u m a n i s t s c l a i m that morality is

Rugby History

d e m a n d that we act a c c o r d i n g l y ?

discussed (and answered?) in a talk

RSM RUGBY

The

by H a r r y S t o p e s - R o e o n T h u r s d a y

far:-

scientific

understanding

built o n h u m a n nature, not G o d .

naturalistic e v o l u t i o n states: O n e

R e l i g i o n does not have a m o n o p o l y

cannot derive

on morals and ethics. H o w can this

from

be achieved? W h y be moral? W h a t is morality? How

on Earth do human

beings

1991 - T h e story so

21st N o v at l p m in H u x l e y 340.

judgement

H a r r y S t o p e s - R o e took his first

statement. T h e

degree in P h y s i c s at the R C S and

for

Humanist accepts H u m e ' s L a w , and

then did A s t r o p h y s i c s research here

playing for the best l o o k i n g team in

a value

factual

R S M R F C has two teams this year w h o is interested in

anyone

that

and then C a m b r i d g e , but switched

I C . T h e first X V are undefeated to

evolution is the key that unlocks the

to P h i l o s o p h y - his doctorate. H e

date and are at present p l a y i n g as the

the same

time

claims

c o m e to have m o r a l i t y ? T h e s e are

door to morality. T h a t metaphor, o f

then

basic questions. E v o l u t i o n makes

is the

University on " S c i e n c e Studies":

c o m p e t i t i o n . O u r results so far are

particular difficulty

answer.

what science has done to/for us.

show n in the a c c o m p a n y i n g results

sometimes

A theory o f morality (theistic o r

Importantly, science (for him) has

table.

requires altruistic behaviour - how

naturalistic) will point to something

destroyed the credibility o f a theistic

can animals who evolved according

which

for the third

question, for morality

k e y to understanding,

lectured

Birmingham

3rd X V

in the

U A U

important; it is valid if what it points

O u r 2nd X V have had two games v i e w o f the U n i v e r s e . S o , h o w to beating C i t y & G u i l d s a n d just make sense o f L i f e M o r a l i t y ? T h e losing to P C L 3rd's. T h e team spirit

to is ultimately important, and if the

obvious

T h e s e question certainly require

theory draws the right conclusions.

Humanism.

to D a r w i n ' s

theory have c o m e to

behave like that?

(it claims)

is ultimately

answer This

(a term

for h i m was is his he

o f this side is second to none. A l l

"life-

are w e l c o m e to j o i n the R S M c l u b .

originated)

If y o u are interested visit the R S M U

sensitive and subtle t h i n k i n g . T h e

T h e Humanist claims that evolution

stance"

second question gets to the roots o f

gives us the right understanding o f

w h i c h he spent m u c h o f his later

office

the matter. It has two parts: W h a t

what it is to be h u m a n , so that w e

years lecturing o n . H e also became

R F C pigeon hole. Finally good luck

or leave

a message in the

is it that discriminates the right act?

have the basis f r o m w h i c h to d r a w

i n v o l v e d with the British Humanist

to all I C teams for the rest o f the

W h y does this, whatever it is that

the right m o r a l c o n c l u s i o n s .

A s s o c i a t i o n , being its chair for a

season.

does this j o b , have the authority to

The

above

questions

will

number o f years.

SPORTS RESULTS WOMEN'S

FOOTBALL

League:

Dribblers

Kurt - R S M Captain.

Dribbling Champs

1 0 - 0 Hammersmith Hospital T h e D r i b b l e r s c o n t i n u e d their fine

M e n s 1st Ladies

run o f victories with a stunning

HOCKEY

triumph

UAU:

Hospital

last

obviously

heard o f the

2 - 3 1-2

K i n g s C o l l e g e 1st Kings College Ladies

over

reputation,

Hammersmith Sunday.

Having Dribblers

only

eight

H a m m e r s m i t h girls dared to turn out for the 10-0 thrashing.

RSM

RUGBY

C a r o l i n e started o f f the s c o r i n g with a goal in the first few minutes

UAU:

M e n s 1st M e n s 1st M e n s 1st

19 - 0 12 - 10 68 - 0

RHBNC Reading Kings College

which was almost as amazing as her miss later o n in the half. Other goals in the g a m e c a m e f r o m P e r m i (7) and J o (2) with near misses

from

S a r a , A r l e n e and R a c h a e l . Ethel played a blinder in defence,

NETBALL

as u s u a l ? ? ! ! ? ? , as d i d A r l e n e w h o was p l a y i n g her first g a m e for the

League:

Imperial

4 8 - 3 1 U C L II

team. C r e d i t must also g o to the goalie

E m m a , w h o kept a c l e a n

sheet and w o u l d surely have m a d e

BADMINTON

some a m a z i n g saves had any shots come her way. H a m m e r s m i t h , quite

UAU:

sensibly, didn't attempt to challenge

M e n s 1st 9 - 0 K i n g s C o l l e g e 1st Mens 2nd 9 - 0 Kings College 2nd Ladies 9 - 0 Kings College Ladies Hammersmith League: Mens 9 - 0 Elliot Mixed 9 - 0 Spartans

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;7â&#x20AC;&#x201D;

the D r i b b l e r s in a boat race! F i n a l l y , the D r i b b l e r s w o u l d just like to congratulate E t h e l , albeit a little late, for her a m a z i n g

header

off the line in the K C H C u p g a m e . Ethe l y o u ' r e a star, where

would

the team be without y o u . . . top o f the league

probably!!!

Felix

15 November 1991

Felix 917

50P£f?GLUE

IS S O STRONG HOW COME YOU CAN] G E T THE TOP OFF THE TOBE JcEALLY EASILY ? '

— 8 —

• Rn o

v e e i y

Friday 15 November to Friday 22 November 1991 r

Guilds Carniva T o n i g h t is G u i l d s ' R a g C a r n i v a l !

can finish off the evening in B o n n i e

M i s s this at y o u r p e r i l !

& Clyde's Bop.

F o r a mere £5.50 y o u c a n enjoy an

amazing

seven hours o f

T h i s ' l l be the best £5.50 y o u ' l l

fun,

ever spend, so be there and b r i n g

frolics and fornication (as long as

y o u r friends. Get y o u r tickets today

it's discrete and unavoi dabl e - see

from either the G u i l d s ' office or the

Steve Farrant for details).

ICU

w h a t ' l l be

Here's

in store for y o u .

c o m e along and enjoy

(So

yourselves

while d o i n g a g o o d deed for

Rag.)

R o c k ' n ' R o l l with the W i l d A n g e l s , get

down

and

boogie

with

office.

(Tickets

guarantee

entry, but y o u can pay on the door.) See y o u there! N.B.

All

users

the

Union

b u i l d i n g , i n c l u d i n g the U n i o n bar,

the

w i l l be asked to leave the b u i l d i n g

Brothers G r i m m - l o o k out Jake &

by 7 . 3 0 p m ready for the C a r n i v a l .

E l w o o d . T h e n , after g a m b l i n g y o u r

The

life away in C a p o n e ' s C a s i n o , y o u

C a r n i v a l goers

u n i o n bar

will

open

ONLY.

Poppy Craw Last Saturday

saw

both a P o p p y

D a y C o l l e c t i o n and a Pub

Crawl,

both o f w h i c h were great successes. T h e P o p p y D a y C o l l e c t i o n took place in M a i d s t o n e , K e n t , with 12 rag people setting o f f before 9 a m

country.

Oxford

University

was

e v e n a team f r o m P l y m o u t h

P o l y t e c h n i c (it took them 7 hours to get here). I C R a g went round as three teams

and b r a v i n g the c o l d for 3 hours.

and

T h e amount o f m o n e y raised w i l l

c o l l e c t i n g money

not be k n o w n until D e c e m b e r ,

sent

d o w n about 300 people and there

covered

about

pubs

and selling o l d

R a g M a g s as they went. A g a i n , the

the charity themselves are counting

totals

it a l l .

L e u k a e m i a are counting the money

T h e Pub C r a w l was in aid o f the

not

yet

known

themselves.

and

D o n ' t forget the S p o n s o r e d C i t y

i n v o l v e d students f r o m all o v e r the

O f L o n d o n Pub C r a w l next F r i d a y .

Leukaemia

Research

Fund,

are

The Brothers

Grimm.

Not a Fairy

Tale.

Guilds Carnival Timetable Time

20 - 21 21 - 22 22 - 23 23 - 24 00 - 01 01 - 02 02 - 03

Union Lounge

BONNIE & CLYDE'S BOP

UDH Concert H a l l

CAPONE'S

CASINO

WILD ANGELS

Beit

COCKTAILS

Quad

BAR—B—Q

Bar

BEER TIME —

BROTHERS GRIMM

15 November 1991

Felix 917

Feature

Sponsorship Tuesday

will

definitely

Felix 917

15 November 1991

Rag Goodies are Here

Hypnosis Lecture You

form.

be there! at

T h i s y e a r ' s R a g M a g has a r r i v e d

staff