T
E
Chatting with The Shamen's Mr C
More CDs to Win with Electric Cafe
Your Bloody Valentines
C&G President Finally Resigns DAVID
Having
d irec tion it n e e d s . "
ROBERTS
M r Bhalla's resignation has b e e n A n emergency meeting of the City
w i d e l y a c c e p t e d as the best w a y t o
&
safeguard
Guilds
Union
Officers
&
M e m b e r s Council met on Tuesday to
decide
the
fate
of
C&GU
for
the
future.
the
t h e n m o v e d o n t o elect his s u c c e s sor,
a
temporary
described
the
election
will
be
President
will t a k e - o v e r . O n e c a n d i -
been [[mi
Alex Tylee-Birdsall.
date,
o o d f r o m t h e floor, w i t h he
s current
endorsement
and
w a s n o t present, the d e c i -
Guilds
was
of
the
Executive,
unanimously
l e c t e d . M r Tylee-Birdsall,
delayed.
i w h o is at present
H o w e v e r , the m o t i o n w a s this
results
announced, and a new
d e n c e in M r Bhalla w a s pre-
debated
who
C&GU
President,
s e n t e d , but as the President
not
President
Union
w h e n a m o t i o n of n o - c o n f i -
was
Bhalla's
w o u l d act until 3 M a r c h , w h e n the
c a l l e d at last w e e k ' s 08JV1C
sion
Mr
O&JVIC m e e t i n g
S p e a k i n g t o Felix, A n d y H e e p s , IC m o v e as "the only sensible s t e p for-
President Vivake Bhalla. The m e e t i n g h a d
C&GU
accepted
resignation,
Motor
C l u b C a p t a i n , says that he
week
eithet as the m e e t i n g began
hopes
to
bring his
w i t h the r e a d i n g of a letter
years
of
experience
of
C i v G U , a n d particularly in
resignation
from
Mr
the
Bhalla. explained
that
he
felt
"1
he
as
Guilds
President.
" B o t h this t e r m a n d last I have
had
to
take
in
of
the
Presidency.
know how
everything
w o r k s , a n d 1 k n o w every-
h a d b e e n unable t o fulfil his role
financial side
U n i o n , t o the
In his letter, M r Bhalla
three
N o t a h a p p y b u n n y ; A l e x T y l e e - B i r d s a l l i s c h a r g e d o n e in Exec, s o hopefully w i t h o r g a n i s i n g C & J G U ' s a f f a i r s i n t i m e f o r t h e i r w e c a n start t o w o r k e l e c t i o n next m o n t h .
long
Mark
t o g e t h e r m o r e successfully as a t e a m " .
a b s e n c e s for family reasons.
D e s p i t e his short t e r m of office,
1 h a d h o p e d that G u i l d s w a s c a p a -
w a r d . . . I ' m g l a d Vivake j u m p e d a n d
ble of c o n t i n u i n g for this p e r i o d
wasn't
without
future, M r H e e p s s e e s t o u g h t i m e s
hensive
ahead
E m p h a s i s i n g the n e e d for a thor-
appears
my not
daily to
presence...this have
been
the
pushed".
Looking
for M r Bhalla's
to
the
successors
c a s e . . . M y a b s e n c e f r o m C o l l e g e is
"It's vital t o ensure the hole isn't
set t o c o n t i n u e , m e a n i n g that 1 a m
d u g any d e e p e r . . . i t ' s t i m e t o s t o p
n o longer able t o offer C&.GU the
digging a n d find a w a y o u t " .
M r T y l e e - B i r d s a l l still has a c o m p r e set
of
goals
for
C&GU.
o u g h r e - w r i t i n g of the C & G U
on page
two
Two New Bars for IC
e '
DAVID
r t e
Issue 1 107 13 February 1998
ROBERTS
Plans have b e e n u n v e i l e d this w e e k for the e x p a n s i o n of d B s , the U n i o n Ents R o o m , t o take a d v a n t a g e of t h e s p a c e that will b e c o m e available in Beit Q u a d o n c e the B i o l o g y D e p a r t m e n t m o v e into the n e w B i o m e d i c a l S c i e n c e s b u i l d i n g this s u m m e r . T h e i n t e n t i o n of t h e d e s i g n is t o i n c r e a s e t h e t o t a l c a p a c i t y of the U n i o n facility, t o a c c o m m o d a t e the n e w m e d i c a l s t u d e n t s , a n d t o turn d B s into a s t a n d - a l o n e facility, w i t h its o w n f o o d o u t l e t s , bar a n d i n c r e a s e d stage a r e a . The d e s i g n a l s o i n c o r -
p o r a t e s a s e c o n d bar t o be l o c a t e d
ing. A l s o i n c l u d e d are the
in the b a s e m e n t of Beit H a l l .
sary
The full plan has y e t t o get the final g o - a h e a d , p e n d i n g a d e t a i l e d c o s t i n g by the d e s i g n e r s - a t e a m f r o m the IC Estates D e p a r t m e n t -
extra
toilets
which an increase
and
neces-
fire
exits
in c a p a c i t y will
require. The
development
forms
the
first p h a s e in the f o r t h c o m i n g over-
been
hall of t h e U n i o n B u i l d i n g o u t l i n e d
a g r e e d a n d b u i l d i n g w o r k is set t o
last y e a r by Eric A l l s o p in his m a s t e t
begin in m i d - J u n e , a l l o w i n g the full
plan.
but the
basic
concept
has
r e n o v a t i o n t o be c o m p l e t e d by the start of the n e w a c a d e m i c y e a r .
A final d e c i s i o n o n the d e v e l o p m e n t , t o g e t h e r w i t h d e t a i l e d plans
The p l a n , as it p r e s e n t l y s t a n d s ,
should
be
involves k n o c k i n g d o w n the w a l l s
March
for p r e s e n t a t i o n
s e p a r a t i n g d B s f r o m t h e Felix office
officers a n d staff.
a n d Print Unit, t o create a m u c h larger s p a c e w h i c h s t r e t c h e s into the back c o r n e r of the U n i o n b u i l d -
made
by the
end
of
to union
13 February
NEWS
1998
News in Brief...
Teacher Training' for Lecturers
T
p h a r m a c o l o g y , t h e all party c o m -
V a n d e V o r s t , will be i n s t r u m e n t a l
T w o m e n believed t o be involved in
t o c o v e r "the scientific c a s e for
in the i m p l e m e n t a t i o n of the p r o -
several
There is a g l i m m e r of h o p e o n t h e
gramme.
College c a m p u s were a p p r e h e n d e d
tion o n the
h o r i z o n for t h o s e w h o leave
lec-
that " L e c t u r e r s have g o t t o think
by
a t i o n a l use of c a n n a b i s " . A f t e r tak-
tures m o r e c o n f u s e d a n d w o r r i e d
a b o u t w h y t h e y ' r e t e a c h i n g the w a y
Thursday, a n d have
than w h e n they entered.
t h e y ' r e t e a c h i n g a n d h o w effective
been
t h e y will be in g e t t i n g s t u d e n t s t o
The m e n have been caught before,
h o l d p u b l i c hearings after Easter,
learn".
'world-
but there w a s insufficient evidence
w i t h a r e p o r t s c h e d u l e d for c o m -
t e a c h e r t r a i n i n g are at a d e v e l o p -
w i d e r e a l i s a t i o n ' that n e w lecturers
t o detain t h e m . Ken W e i r , D e p u t y
p l e t i o n in O c t o b e r .
mental
n e e d e d t o be g i v e n i n s t r u c t i o n a n d
Security M a n a g e r , explained that o n
ANDREW
put
OFORI
new
scheme
lecturers of
what
Plans t o
through is
stage w i t h i n
a
effectively the
college,
S
m i t t e e ' s t e r m s of reference is s a i d
Dr Baillie
emphasised
She s p o k e of t h e
and s t u d e n t s are b e i n g e n c o u r a g e d
time
t o give input in o r d e r t o
approach to education.
enhance
to
feels
the s t a n d a r d s of e d u c a t i o n .
contemplate
it vital
that
their
Dr Baillie
students
take
thefts
on
the
Imperial
Imperial College security arrested
subsequently
by police
previous occasions
last
officers.
the m e n
and
against relaxing the
ing
prohibi-
medical and
evidence
from
recre-
'expert
wit-
n e s s e s ' , t h e S e l e c t C o m m i t t e e will
had
R DEALERS
given reasons for being o n college premises. H o w e v e r w h e n caught in
stan-
r e s p o n s i b i l i t y for their o w n learning
Beit Q u a d they c o u l d not claim it
Belgravia
training
and c h a n n e l their creativity into the
w a s a 'shortcut', a n d w e r e detained
d e t a i l s of a s e c o n d street trader
lecturers has b e e n i d e n t i f i e d w o r l d -
b u i l d i n g of a s y s t e m that
p e n d i n g police investigation.
they
wide, with m a n y countries current-
all c o n c e r n e d .
The
requirement
dardised
system
for of
a
The
ly d e s i g n i n g n a t i o n a l p r o g r a m m e s . The U K c a m p a i g n has c o m e
about
benefits
are
hend.
college's
Pro-Rector
for
E d u c a t i o n a l Q u a l i t y , Prof T i m Clark,
MASSIVE
R
Police
have
attempting
The
van,
released to
appre-
registration
P 4 1 5 J P 0 , has b e e n s p o t t e d
near
t o b o t h the S o u t h K e n s i n g t o n a n d St
Mary's campuses,
and
has
as a result of Sir R o n a l d D e a r i n g ' s
d e s c r i b e d t h e i m p o r t a n c e of p o s i -
inquiry i n t o higher e d u c a t i o n .
tively i d e n t i f y i n g objectives for the
T h e n e w s of a m e r g e r
b o d y k n o w n as t h e ' A c c r e d i t a t i o n
training
Glaxo-Wellcome
and SmithKline
m e n t t o p a s s e r s - b y . The activities
on
Government proposals.
Beecham,
of
of t h e s e v e n d o r s , w h o have b e e n
A
T e a c h i n g In H i g h e r E d u c a t i o n '
in
preparation
for
any
H e sees
two
between
the
world's
been
u s e d t o sell a u d i o e q u i p -
of
largest b i o t e c h n o l o g y c o m p a n i e s ,
present
t h e essential e l e m e n t s of early talks
has p r o v o k e d fears that jobs will
years,
is
Chancellor's C o m m i t t e e , has been
and
be lost a n d f u n d i n g for r e s e a r ch at
more
furtive,
f o r m e d t o p u t a w o r k a b l e s y s t e m in
exercise
institutions
Imperial
Imperial s t u d e n t b e i n g k i d n a p p e d
Roger L y o n s ,
last w e e k a n d f o r c e d t o w i t h d r a w
consisting such
as
of the
'key
stakeholders'
NUS
and
the
e xte n s i v e
s u r m i s e d "The object of the
and
plac e. There already exists a c o u r s e of workshops
and
training
c o n s u l t a t i o n as o n e
is t o s a f e g u a r d
most
importantly
teachers, safeguard
Students
sessions
C o l l e g e will suffer. the
students" are
able
to
get
such
as
Manufacturing, Science
and
in t h e
area
for
apparently
several
becoming
leading
to
an
money from a cash point. A n y o n e seeing the van should
Finance U n i o n ' s general secretary, Times
Higher
r e p o r t it t o S h e r f i e l d Security o n
Supplement,
com-
x 5 8 9 0 0 , noting the time, location,
m e n t e d "This m e r g e r c o u l d have
d e s c r i p t i o n of the v e h i c l e ' s o c c u -
speaking
in T h e
by Prof Sinclair G o o d l a d for
i n v o l v e d t h r o u g h the S t u d e n t L I N K
p r o b a t i o n a r y lecturers at IC, but at
g r o u p ( L o n d o n Imperial N e t w o r K )
Education
present not all d e p a r t m e n t s
for
who
will begin plans w i t h t h e staff LINK
d e v a s t a t i n g i m p l i c a t i o n s for u n i -
p a n t s a n d d e t a i l s of a n y c o n v e r s a -
g r o u p at a m e e t i n g o n 9 M a r c h .
versity r e s e a r ch a n d s c i e n c e g r a d -
tion held. O n no account should
run
sider
it
mandatory.
con-
Preceding
Government proposals, the college
education
development
It
a
is h o p e d that t h e issue will strike a
uate e m p l o y m e n t . "
s c h e m e that all n e w lecturers will
c h o r d w i t h s t u d e n t s a n d they will
Chris Evans, f o r m e r ly a m i c r o b i o l ogist at Imperial, a n d n o w a m i l -
is
now
planning to
construct
be r e q u i r e d t o take part i n , a n d s t u -
take full a d v a n t a g e of this o p p o r t u -
dents are b e i n g a s k e d t o p u t their
nity:
views across.
requires a s t u d e n t
The s c h e m e will be a s y s t e m of
The
student
LINK
group
representative
from each department.
same
Kinishka
w a s "extremely exciting" a n d that
The true c o s t o f U K air p o l l u t i o n is
the n e w c o m p a n y w o u l d be e v e n
c o m i n g t o light f o l l o w i n g a recent r e p o r t that v a l u e s the d a m a g e at
Sinha
presently t h e c a s e .
more information and to c o m m e n t
more
further l o o k at w w w . c v c p . a c . u k .
Britain.
k.sinha@ic.ac.uk.
For
s u p p o r t i v e of
science
in
ÂŁ 1 1 billion a n n u a l l y . T h e published
ers, Dr C a r o l i n e Baillie a n d Dr Rita
'BOTTOMIN
from front page c o n s t i t u t i o n , he c o m m e n t e d , " W e need to completely re-structure the U n i o n . This year has s h o w n that the p r e s e n t s y s t e m just d o e s n ' t w o r k . " In a d d i t i o n , M r Tylee-Birdsall h i g h l i g h t e d t h e n e e d for a t h o r o u g h a s s e s s m e n t o f C & G U ' s current financial p o s i t i o n , "We need to know what we're doing and where we're going". Finally, he p o i n t e d t o c o m m u n i c a tion b e t w e e n officers as o n e of G u i l d s ' biggest failures this year, "Exec try t o stick t o their o w n jobs
AIR DEADLY
article that he t h o u g h t the m e r g e r
students
t w o e d u c a t i o n d e v e l o p m e n t lectur-
entrepre-
in the
a n y o n e enter into any p u r c h a s e or get into t h e v a n .
Interested
m e n t a n d a longer c o u r s e t h a n is
on
biotechnology
commented
accreditation, including an assessThe College's
should contact
lionaire neur,
H o w e v e r Dr
' a n d d o n ' t w o r k t o g e t h e r as a t e a m . . . I d o n ' t e v e n k n o w w h o half the D e p R e p s are, a n d I d i d n ' t see t h e m at O & M C y e s t e r d a y . . . w e h a v e n ' t a clue w h a t ' s g o i n g o n half the t i m e " . Hamish C o m m o n , Guildsheet Editor, s e e s M r T y l e e - B i r d s a l l as the ideal c a n d i d a t e ; " H e ' s s o m e o n e w h o ' s not i n t e r e s t e d in p o l i t i c s and i m a g e . . . w h o d o e s n ' t s o u n d off or s h o u t '1 w a n t X , Y, Z ' ", a n d S o r e n D y m o n d , G u i l d s Treasurer, warmly endorsed him, adding " H e ' s a great p o k e r p a r t n e r " .
CANNABIS
Y
Heart
of
ICSM's
and
attempts
Lung
to
place
study,
National Institute,
a
monetary
v a l u e of t h e "loss of quality of life" The H o u s e of L o r d s has l a u n c h e d a high p o w e r e d i n v e s t i g a t i o n into the legal status of the d r u g cannabis. Following the British Medical Association's November report o n the p o s s i b l e benefits of the medical prescription of c a n n a b i n o i d s . L o r d C h i e f Justice, L o r d B i n g h a m , is c a l l i n g for a "detached, objective, i n d e p e n dent" c o n s i d e r a t i o n of t h e issue a n d t h e f o r m a t i o n of a L o r d s S e l e c t C o m m i t t e e . C h a i r e d by Liberal D e m o c r a t Peer L o r d Perry of W a l t o n , a f o r m e r p r o f e s s o r of
c a u s e d by t h e a i r b o r n e t o x i n s . The m o d e l e m p l o y e d , similar t o that used
by t h e
conducting
Government when feasability
involves q u i z z i n g the how to
studies, public on
m u c h t h e y w o u l d be willing pay
to
avoid the
problems
a s s o c i a t e d w i t h air p o l l u t i o n . P o o r air quality is currently t h o u g h t to be
responsible
for health
prob-
l e m s in m i l l i o n s of U K citizens, and the r e p o r t c l a i m e d "It m a k e s economic
and
health
sense
to
c l e a n u p t h e air in our cities as an urgent priority."
NEWS
3 February 1 9 9 8
Ara Soc Fight TONY
However, the dispute d i d not
OFORI
e n d here. W i t h e m o t i o n s r u n n i n g Three were
groups
of security
guards
c a l l e d t o restrain a n angry
high t h e t w o g r o u p s m e t again in Exhibition
Road
where
fighting
c r o w d as a large scale fight b r o k e
o n c e m o r e broke o u t . T h e v i o l e n c e
out in the Sherfield b u i l d i n g after a n
was
altercation
phone.
c a l l e d i n , but t h e g r o u p s o o n d i s -
The incident h a p p e n e d t w o w e e k s
p e r s e d a n d n o arrests w e r e m a d e .
over a m o b i l e
such
that
the police
wete
ago in the early hours o f S a t u r d a y
C o l l e g e security p a s s e d
morning.
t h e y k n e w t o t h e p o l i c e , but d u e t o
Society
Following an Arabian function,
two
students
o n what
the q u i c k exit o f t h e t w o s i d e s n o t
began arguing over t h e p o s s e s s i o n
m u c h i n f o r m a t i o n c o u l d be g a t h -
of the p h o n e , a n d this
e r e d . It is s u s p e c t e d that g a n g w a r -
when
friends j o i n e d
escalated
in. Punches
fare c o u l d have p l a y e d a part in t h e
w e r e t h r o w n before c o l l e g e s e c u r i -
confrontation,
ty a n d U n i o n s t e w a r d s
intervened
Society's president M a r w a H a m o u r
to diffuse t h e s i t u a t i o n . C l u b s e c , a
insists that " t h e i n c i d e n t h a s b e e n
security
blown
firm
contracted
by the
but the Arabian
out of proportion". The
U n i o n , w e r e also b r o u g h t in a n d
p o l i c e are reluctant
the parties i n v o l v e d w e r e l e d o f f
b e c a u s e t h e i n c i d e n t is currently
c a m p u s in o p p o s i t e d i r e c t i o n s .
under investigation.
Ecstasy JEREMY
to
comment
u Dies
THOMSON
'Alternative
London'
Meeting
considerable
with
series. suc-
counter-culture
c e s s , he raised e n o u g h m o n e y t o
writer a n d alternative b u s i n e s s m a n ,
buy derelict p r o p e r t y a n d f o u n d e d
Nicholas Saunders,
d i e d in a car crash last w e e k a g e d
Neal's
sixty.
his
h o m e t o alternative s h o p s , restau-
student
rants a n d p u b l i s h e r s . A firm believ-
degree,
Failing
to
complete
the former
IC
Yard
in C o v e n t
Garden,
w o r k e d initially as a n invento r , p r o -
er in m a x i m u m i n f o r m a t i o n , he is
ducing
w e l l k n o w n as a n i m p a r t i a l expert
o n e o f t h e first w o r k i n g
answering machines.
In t h e m i d
on m o d e r n drugs, writing the p o p -
1 9 6 0 s he b e c a m e i n v o l v e d in t h e
ular E for Ecstasy, Ecstacy a n d the
'psychedelic
Dance
revolution',
experi-
m e n t i n g w i t h h a l l u c i n o g e n i c drugs
Culture
[Felix
1042] a n d
Ecstasy R e c o n s i d e r e d [Felix 1 0 9 7 ] ,
w h i l e living in a S q u a t in F u l h a m .
For m o r e i n f o r m a t i o n , s e e t h e w e b -
H e then m o v e d into w r i t i n g , p r o -
site
ducing
the
highly
Workmen at the Royal Albert Hall watch as Prince Albert leaves his pedestal. Photo:
Lamb
r
www.obsolete.com/ecstasy.
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T o d a y brings t o a n e n d t h e first week o f c a m p a i g n i n g in t h e Sabbatical Elections. There are t w o c a n d i d a t e s r u n n i n g for e a c h p o s i t i o n ; A l o k Jha a n d E d S e x t o n for Felix Editor, A d a m C h e r r i n g t o n a n d Simon Cooper for Deputy P r e s i d e n t (Clubs a n d S o c i e t i e s ) , James Carter a n d D a v e W h a r t o n for D e p u t y P r e s i d e n t (Finances a n d Services), a n d D a v e H e l l a r d a n d Jon L a m b e r t for I C U P r e s i d e n t . A l l the c a n d i d a t e s ' m a n i f e s t o s c a n b e f o u n d in this issue of Felix o n p a g e s 14 t o 16.
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ICSIT98A.DOC
13 February
INCOMING
1 8
m
Letters to Felix...
m
RECTORIAL
IVfa Andy Heeps: 'C&G j j y j Union a Joke'
actions
RESPONSE I a m w r i t i n g t o c o m m e n t o n the letter in last w e e k ' s Felix a b o u t t h e
,
depart-
Prince C o n s o r t R o a d , L o n d o n ,
brings t o g e t h e r b o t h the d i s c i p l i n e s
Email: priritunit@ic.acuk.
n e c e s s a r y for the extraction of natural r e s o u r c e s a n d t h o s e that f o c u s on
understanding
and
managing
the e n v i r o n m e n t . This c h a n g e
has
b e e n w e l c o m e d by industry a n d is
Editor: Editor
s i m p l y an e x p r e s s i o n
of the
fact
that extractive p r a c t i c e s that w e r e «on
a c c e p t a b l e thirty years
ago on
a
planet w i t h half its present p o p u l a t i o n a n d b a s e d o n the u n d e r s t a n d Aiok Iha
is
attributable
a n d I believe that
the
C o l l e g e c a n play a l e a d i n g role in
German
before
culture. I
H o w e v e r , w h e n the f o r m s w e r e h a n d e d in t o t h e U n i o n , the U n i o n
nies or industries b e c a u s e of par-
people were confused
ticular p e r c e i v e d failures is not b a l -
not k n o w w h e r e w e b e l o n g e d ! The
anced,
constructive.
OSC
believe
CSC
That
sensible,
or
s a i d , I d o not
that
there is a n y large c o m p a n y in the w o r l d , in the h y d r o c a r b o n s field or any other, that w i t h hindsight d o e s not believe that it c o u l d a n d s h o u l d have
done
better. O v e r a l l
things
o n e has t o l o o k at a m u c h w i d e r c a n v a s than there is t i m e or s p a c e t o d o here. But t o take an e x a m p l e at an a l m o s t trivial level, 1 believe (but I d o not k n o w for sure) that over
the
years
Shell
has
been
r e s p o n s i b l e for f i n a n c i n g the higher e d u c a t i o n of m o r e s t u d e n t s developing
countries,
more
students
overall, t h a n
other
private o r g a n i s a t i o n
w o r l d . I also agree that and been
from
indeed in
misleading statements made
of any the
inaccurate have
by s o m e o i l - i n d u s t r y
lobbyists. Sadly the s a m e is true of their o p p o n e n t s w h o , all t o o o f t e n , also s e e m
t o be u n a w a r e of
the
practicalities of r u n n i n g a b u s i n e s s .
WX YT Y Finally your UVOOS V S N sees a conflict in interest between my 26 role as Rector 1 as a non-execu+ /Z[.\/ tive ) of Shell. I see n o n e . I w o u l d g o further. It s e e m s t o m e that the a i m s y o u r c o r r e s p o n d e n t s e e k s t o a c h i e v e m a y in fact be h e l p e d by h a v i n g p e o p l e s u c h as m e c o n t r i b u t i n g t o d i s c u s s i o n s of c o m p a n y p o l i c y . After all 1 d o b r i n g a fairly g o o d k n o w l e d g e of higher education and research, have w o r k e d in c l i m a t e c h a n g e , a n d h a v e d e v o t e d a r o u n d t w e n t y years of m y life to research into alternative energy s o u r c e s etc. just a thought!
- they did
thought w e should apply to `ab be SCC [I think this ]^_ k defghi Clubs' Committee) - j1 c s i n c e o u r s o c i e t y w a s not solely for G e r m a n s . C S C o n the o t h e r h a n d d i d not w a n t us b e c a u s e a l t h o u g h s o c i a l a n d cultural integration w a s our t h e m e , o u r n a m e strongly s u g gested links w i t h O S C . Three months were wasted while we were oscillating between these two c o m m i t t e e s , w h i c h clearly d i d not have good communication b e t w e e n e a c h o t h e r . In the e n d , w e w e r e ' k i n d l y ' a c c e p t e d by O S C u n d e r t h e c o n d i t i o n that w e h a d t o change our society's name to German Soc. D u r i n g all t h e s e u n n e c e s s a r y p r o c e s s e s , w e h a v e lost m a n y because prospective members firstly, w e m i s s e d the Freshers' Fair. S e c o n d l y , the n a m e G e r m a n S o c strongly s u g g e s t s that this is a s o c i e t y p r i m a r i l y for G e r m a n s (like most overseas societies), so nonGermans are put off. Consequently, some native G e r m a n s p e a k e r s are d r i v e n a w a y b e c a u s e t h e y have c o m e t o Britain t o learn a b o u t British culture, rather than have a regular 'let's-gethomesick' gathering. T o be h o n e s t , w e d o n o t care a b o u t the p o l i t i c s g o i n g o n b e h i n d the s c e n e ; all w e w a n t e d w a s t o provide a place
for p e o p l e
who
share the s a m e interests t o m e e t and
g a i n m u t u a l u n d e r s t a n d i n g of
e a c h o t h e r a n d h a v e s o m e fun at the s a m e t i m e . S o , c a n s o m e b o d y tell m e w h a t ' s in a n a m e ? C o z I apparently d o n 't k n o w the answer!
ing available at that t i m e , are n o t
resources,
of
contacts
d e m o n i z a t i o n of individual c o m p a -
Shin Yi Jeng Physics 4
ue t o n e e d t o extract its natural rout
enough
b e c o m e a bane . H o w e v e r , blanket
viable t o d a y . The w o r l d will c o n t i n -
e
to
A n g l o - G e r m a n Society.
creating a new academic
8071.
g o i n g o u t there, a n d felt I l a c k e d
world
engine - a b l e s s i n g that has in part
m e n t , the T. H . H u x l e y S c h o o l , that
594
lished
oping
m y s e l f t o just three a s p e c t s .
U n i o n Print Unit, Beit Q u a d , S W 7 2 B B . Tel: 0 1 7 1
that has c o m e a b o u t in the d e v e l -
knowledge
The C o l l e g e has recently led the • ..
I felt d e p r i v e d of n o t h a v i n g estab-
w a s t h e n d e t e r m i n e d t o set up an
c o u n t r y , a n d p o s s i b l y the w o r l d , in
(
D u r i n g m y y e a r o u t in G e r m a n y ,
i m p r o v e m e n t in s t a n d a r d of living
h y d r o c a r b o n s , a n d in particular t o
photographers, .' ...
Dear Felix,
the w e s t e r n w o r l d a n d m u c h of the
their use in the internal c o m b u s t i o n
Issue 1107
.
D
oil industry, a n d a l t h o u g h ther e is a
FELIX
.
N
companies.
great deal t o be s a i d 1 shall c o n f i n e
First there are concerns that the association of the College with the +,-./0 oil )* may be unhealthy or in 23245647 some way 1 Since its earliest d a y s the e t h o s of the C o l l e g e has b e e n t o foster r e s e a r c h a n d t e a c h i n g a c r o s s a full s p e c t r u m f r o m the pure t o the highly a p p l i e d , a n d t o establish m u t u a l l y beneficial p a r t n e r s h i p s a n d strategic alliances w i t h industry, i n c l u d i n g the oil . 13 iary industry. I n d e e d the Royal S c h o o l of M i n e s w a s e s t a b l i s h e d w i t h the p r i m e p u r p o s e of s u p p o r t i n g the # $% extractive i n d u s t r i e s a n d has for :.>!' i . !" " & ' m a n y y e a r s w o r k e d closely w i t h internal tel; •••'>nt h e m . Like y o u r c o r r e s p o n d e n t , m a n y of us in the C o l l e g e are n o s External tel & fax: 1 talgic for the days when G o v e r n m e n t s u p p o r t of research was stronger, but that view a p p e a r s not t o be s h a r e d by any major p o l i t i c a l party. O n t h e other i h a n d , w e d o n o t find o u r s e l v e s s i g nificantly c o n s t r a i n e d by our i n d u s trial c o n t r a c t s . W e w o r k o n the g e n e r a l p r i n c i p l e of d e c i d i n g w h a t w e w o u l d like t o d o , a n d t h e n f i n d ing an industrial partner w h o has t h e s a m e o b j e c t i v e s a n d is p r e Copyright © Felix 1998. P h o t o p a r e d t o m e e t the c o s t s . graphic c o p y r i g h t s r e m a i n w i t h
.
oil
the t w e n t i e t h c e n t u r y p r o s p e r i t y of
Dear Editor,
IV...
of major
W h e t h e r w e like it or not, m u c h of
•—-HI
Ron O x b u r g h [Rector]
f i n d i n g w a y s t o d o this at a c c e p t able e n v i r o n m e n t a l c o s t . T o
have
any practical influence w e n e e d t o work
in c l o s e
industry.
collaboration
with
9:;6 < >?@ABCDEF@ 8 1 many = conQR T L were MNNOP NS to the GHIJHK HG
Deadline for letters is 6pm Tuesday. Letters may be edited for length, but will not be altered or corrected in any other way. Letters may be signed or anonymous, but please show your swipe card when submitting t h e m .
MORE LETTERS
CONSIDERED OPINION Dear Jeremy, H a v i n g a foot in b o t h c a m p s , it w a s interesting t o see that Felix has finally c o m e o u t resolutely against the C C U s . It a p p e a r s that t h e y are self-serving, irrelevant a n d m i s u n d e r s t a n d their role. A l t h o u g h I c a n n o t agree that the C C U s s h o u l d be a b o l i s h e d , the accusations have s o m e weight. There is still c o n f u s i o n as t o exactly w h a t t h e C C U s s h o u l d be a c h i e v ing, a l t h o u g h there are signs of change, w i t h 2 sabbaticals in t h e I CSM and wholesale structural change in t h e R C S . C f k G C U ' s i n a c tivity over the past y e a r is not a reason for the a b o l i t i o n of the entire structure. C C U s have d e c l i n e d slowly o v e r t h e past 70 y e a r s or s o , due t o m u c h larger s o c i a l c h a n g e s in w h a t p e o p l e i d e n t i f y w i t h . Students a p p l y t h r o u g h U C A S t o 'Imperial C o l l e g e ' a n d o n l y hear of the C C U s w h e n they get here. M a n y d o not k n o w w h i c h C C U their d e p a r t m e n t b e l o n g t o . A t the t o p end, the i n t r o d u c t i o n of P r o Rectors e v e n r e m o v e d s o m e of t h e duties of the D e a n s . C C U s n o w find that their role covers a c a d e m i c affairs, s o m e w e l fare, social m e e t i n g s , a l u m n i a s s o ciation r e c r u i t m e n t a n d career h e l p . S o m e of t h e s e are c o v e r e d by d e p a r t m e n t a l s o c i e t i e s - w h i c h are part of the C C U s t r u c t u r e . Felix thinks that t h e s e j o b s w o u l d be better d o n e if ' p r o p e r l y r u n ' , (i.e. by 1CU). It is also of the o p i n i o n that students c a n ' t be t r u s t e d t o run o u r unions for o u r s e l v e s . W h o else is g o i n g t o run t h e m ? The p o s i t i o n of D e p R e p , for e x a m p l e , is by its nature d e p a r t m e n t a l . The e x i s t e n c e of t h e C C U a c t s as a n e x t r a d e v o l v e d layer of a c a d e m i c s u p port, w i t h certain jobs w i t h i n its remit. The I C U s a b b s d o not n e e d t o w o r r y a b o u t Jim's unfair lab mark, but a D e p R e p / A A O c o u l d sort it o u t before s o m e I C U d r o n e s t o r m s in, g u n s blazing. T h e s e p e o ple sit o n plenty of h i g h - l e v e l c o m mittees s o that t h e y c a n bring t h e s e p r o b l e m s t o a t t e n t i o n . I c a n n o t see that I C U will be a b l e t o d o that a n y better, a n d the i d e a that C C U a c a d e m i c r e p r e s e n t a t i v e s are not a p p r o a c h a b l e or e f f i c i e n t is a n insult t o t h o s e that w o r k h a r d in a n u n p o p u l a r job. It is s a i d t h e y s h o u l d n ' t be called ' U n i o n s ' - again t h e y are n o t - they are c a l l e d ' C o n s t i t u e n t College U n i o n s ' , part of I C U . T h e re is no d o u b t that the m a i n s t u d e n t ' s union is I C U , a n d it d o e s its job
very w e l l . If this serves t o create c o n f u s i o n , t h e n it is the job of p u b lications like this t o d i s p e l that. The names and crests, older than Imperial itself, are not g o i n g anyw h e r e . T he a l u m n i a s s o c i a t i o n s a n d m a n y o t h e r s w o u l d n ' t s t a n d for it. If t h e C C U s are shells of their form e r selves, t h a n so be it. But let t h e m d o the job that they are s u p p o s e d to d o , and can d o properly. Y o u r s ever, Hamish C o m m o n Felix c o l u m n i s t a n d G u i l d s h e e t Editor
D OPINION bah, h u m b u g a n d all t h a t malarkey. what a thoroughly crap editorial y o u s e e m t o have w r i tte n this w e e k . I m e a n , just c o s C&.G are g o i n g through a rough patch (something w h i c h has a d m i t t e d l y b e e n g o i n g o n for the best part of a year a n d a half, s i n c e t h e y g o t s o m e s tripper s in for their freshers w e l c o m e ) is no r e a s o n t o call for the a b o l i t i o n of all the C C U ' s a n d t h e n w e l l . , lets just say that y o u r a r g u e m e n t s range from the pathetic to the badly researched. T he current roles of the C C U i n v o l v e s p r o v i d i n g a n e t w o r k of s o c i a l a n d a c a d e m i c s u p p o r t for their s t u d e n t s , this d o e s n ' t involve a t t e m p t i n g t o run any bars (with the p o s s i b l e e x c e p t i o n of the R C S U beer festival). Your e s c r i p t i o n of the s i t u a t i o n w i t h a b a d lecturer is a b o u t right t o be h o n e s t (though y o u left out t h e y e a r r e p r e s e n t a tives) but t h e n surely a n y o n e w h o has d o n e any reasonable a m o u n t of w o r k w i t h t h e u n i o n (especially t h o s e d o i n g a sabbatical) m u s t realise that trying t o get c o l l e g e t o a d m i t t h e y are w r o n g is nearly i m p o s s i b l e , a n d g e t t i n g a lecturer t o c h a n g e their w a y s is nigh o n i m p o s s i b l e , a y e a r is a d a m n g o o d result for m o s t of the p r o b l e m s discussed. Fortuneatly a lot of d e p reps don't have this e x t r e m e l y narr o w m i n d e d attitude, a n d are p r e p a r e d t o put in w o r k for things w h i c h w o n ' t d i r e c t l y benefit t h e m but m a k e life better for t h o s e w h o will f o l l o w in later years. as a final c o m m e n t the situation w i t h a n y h of t h e C C U ' s c a n be r e a d ily c o m p a r e d w i t h that of felix. T he quality of this years n e w s c o v e r a g e has., t o be h o n e s t b e e n c r a p , but is this the e s t e e m e d e d i t o r s fault... well n o , it;'s m o r e the fault of the s t u d e n t s w o h don't get off their arses a n d w r i t e articles for felix
13 February
1998
(though an e d i t o r w h o s e e l e c t i o n update was obviously done long before the s e c o n d c a n d i d a t e for D P F&S s i g n e d u p y e s t e r d a y m o r n i n g d o e s i m p l y a certain laziness in the q u e s t for g r o u n d b r e a k i n g n e w s ) . a n y w a y thats a b o u t that. Stuart Jenkins
finding you required before concluding that C C U s don't run any bars when, as most students are well aware, I C S M S U currently runs two. The fact that control of these bars will soon be handed over to ICU serves to highlight the C C U s ' increasing obsolescence.
Ordinarily, I try to refrain from ranting on in the letters pages. After all, they're supposed to be for your o p i n i o n s , not m i n e . However, I cannot permit such illiterate, ignorant twaddle as Mr Jenkins has seen fit to make public to go unquestioned in Felix. Firstly, describing the C & C Union's current state of total ineptitude as a 'bad patch' is rather like calling World War Two 'unfortunate . In researching the story ('C&G Union 'A Joke", Felix 1106), one of my reporters attempted to contact the C & G Union fourteen times over three days, both by telephone and in person, and at no point was the C & G U office m a n n e d or even unlocked. Q u i t e how they are supposed to "provide a network of social and academic support" solely by telepathy was not explained in your letter. As for accusing me of bad research, 1 wonder how much in-depth fact-
It is ironic that immediately after damning my arguments as "pathetic" you then feel that my c o m m e n t s on b a d lecturers which formed the bulk of my article - were "about right". Adopting the fatalist attitude that dogs so many at IC, you write that initiating change in the college system is "impossible". If so, then why do you advocate continued investment of time and money into trying to do just that? Fortunately, my own opinions are a little less cynical. I do not believe that changing the system and forcing lecturers to embrace the wishes of their students is impossible - though it is difficult. This is why I argued to abandon the sinking ship of C C U social provision and concentrate on the far more important aim of effective academic representation for students. Incidently sentences should begin with a capital letter. Ed.
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13 February
NOTICES & EDITORIAL
1998
Editorial THE
FELIX
WE H O P E THAT Mountbatten
WEE
Festival
p u b l i s h e d s u g g e s t i n g that air p o l l u -
t
tion in the U K is killing m o r e t h a n
e
t w e n t y t h o u s a n d p e o p l e annually.
t .
N o w w e have a r e p o r t v a l u i n g t h e
g
d a m a g e at £ 1 1 billion [page t w o ] . N o w I d o n ' t really e x p e c t o u r e c o -
t
nomically-motivated
s y
TUESDAY News Meeting - 1 p m . For all writers, researchers and photographers Film Meeting - 12 n o o n . G e t free tickets t o t o p f i l m s . WEDNESDAY M a d n e s s all d a y 9 a m - 3 a m . N o t r e c o m m e n d e d for t h e uninitiated.
News meeting - 1 p m . Music meeting - 1 . 3 0 p m
E
A few months ago, a study was
l
Arts Meeting - n o o n . For all intere s t e d in exhibitions a n d t h e a t r e Features Meeting - 1 p m . If y o u w a n t t o write or layout features, take p h o t o g r a p h s , or just have a n idea, c o m e along. Books Meeting - n o o n .
YO
s o m e t i m e s fatally. T o p a r a p h r a s e D y l a n , h o w m a n y cars m u s t a m a n drive a r o u n d be f o r e he d i e s of lung cancer?
.
o V a c a n c i e s
IC o is c u r r e n t l y looking i
Two
lunchtime
assistant
xjcrs • >Xh R e c o r an Tape L i b r a r i a n if you are , pop into the e ¡ ¢ £ ¤ s an a s k f o r Clem, o r email ¥¦§¨© ¥ª«¥§¦©§¦¬ .
government
BEHIND THE TIMES 1 recently b o u g h t a c o p y o f the n e w Imperial C o l l e g e C a l e n d a r . This is
t o act o n the health risk (apparent-
essentially
ly it's o n l y our f o o d a n d w a t e r that
c o n t a i n i n g facts a n d figures a b o u t
a
qualify as health risks, not air), but
all d e p a r t m e n t s a n d services, a n d a l t h o u g h I a m still n o n e the w i s e r
e n o u g h t o get e v e n the m o s t h a r d -
w h y it is c a l l e d a c a l e n d a r ,
n o s e d capitalist o n their feet? John
largely clear a n d a c c u r a t e .
P r e s c o t t has l e a r n e d t o s p e a k flu-
h o w e v e r , rather s u r p r i s e d t o the
all the right n o i s e s , e v e n t h e s i m -
Admission section:
plest a n d c h e a p e s t p o l i c i e s
pollution
is its invisibility; the
air
Applications
it c a n
for
women
d e n t s are e n c o u r a g e d .
the
body quickly
stu-
Several
halls of r e s i d e n c e a n d student
adjusts t o the b a c k g r o u n d s t e n c h
h o u s e s have p l a c e s for w o m e n
a n d it g e n e r a t e s n o s e r i o u s p u b l i c
students."
interest. P e o p l e have d e v e l o p e d a of t o t a l
accep-
Ads
t h r o u g h s m o g g y streets w i t h their n o s e h e l d high as if it w a s sort
of
challenge,
rather
some like
S m a l l
V i c t o r i a n alpinists w h o , frostbitten a n d d y i n g , still g r e e t e d o t h e r s w i t h a hearty " G o o d D a y " rather than a s k i n g for h e l p . to
the
Feynman For Sale Feynman's
Everyone k n o w s w h a t h a p p e n s
the 118th Annual Dinner
find
in
"Woman Students
problem with
rarely be s e e n ,
paragraph
have
still not b e e n i m p l e m e n t e d . The biggest
following
it is
1 was,
ent e c o - j a r g o n , but d e s p i t e m a k i n g
t a n c e of the p o l l u t i o n . They stride
h March
handbook
surely the g a r g a n t u a n bill s h o u l d be
g u n g - h o attitude
y
college
occupants
if the
exhaust
f u m e s are f e d back inside a car, but
Lectures
on
Physics
t e x t b o o k s . C o m p l e t e set for £ 5 0 , individual v o l u m e s £ 2 0 . Alex o n 0171
939
Contact
5268.
fail t o realise the similarity b e t w e e n this a n d the e n v i r o n m e n t by a b u s y street. The fact is that air p o l l u t i o n d a m a g e s the health of e v e r y o n e in cities, s o m e
t i m e s seriously, a n d
e f ,
WORK AVAILABLE Due to an increased workload, the U n i o n Print U n i t is looking to employ new staff to help in the production o f F E L I X and various U n i o n publications. N o previous experience necessary but a willingness to work Wednesday afternoons and occasional evenings is essential.
All s r l
All
Bikl
U n i o n rates o f pay apply.
E OF SCIENCE
N
Telephone: x48071 and ask for A n d y .
/cu L T
I
A
r
e o
i
F L
y f
o t
i r
v
e
i
l
i
n fr
g r
?
13 February
COLUMNS
1998
9
fuels w a s linked t o c h a n g e s
Constituent
consensus
I find myself in the o d d p o s i t i o n
in the Earth's c l i m a t e . Yet the
College
Unions,
but
the events of S u n d a y m e a n
that
of
politics in Britain, the
remorseless
march
to
the
left,
his
of l e a p i n g t o the Rector's
weak
fossil
p o i n t s . There will never be another.
breaking
of
b u r n i n g of
but
foundations
the
one
the
t i o n in the early 1 9 6 0 s a n d laid the
rant about the parlous state of t h e
for
possibly
that
Originally, I w a s g o i n g t o have a
E n v i r o n m e n t a l S o c i e t y still s a w fit
defence,
BP
lecture
held
at
something
t o the d e a t h of E n o c h P o w e l l . Even
rocks. His views on Europe, dis-
unnerves h i m as m u c h as it d o e s
at a place as politically a p a t h e t i c as
m i s s e d by H e a t h , w e r e frightening-
m e . O n c e again, our friends in the
c a n o n l y be d e s c r i b e d as c h i l d i s h .
Imperial, this is a tricky subject t o
ly
ICU
are
M s Aigrain begins t o reveal her true
bleating o n about Imperial's f u n d -
a g e n d a w h e n she m o a n s a b o u t oil
handle. For m a n y , he is bered
only
for
that
Birmingham on 24th 'The
Rivers of
remem-
speech April
in
1968,
B l o o d . ' This
was
d e s i g n e d t o be a political unit, w i t h
Aigrain
from
the
Shadow
Cabinet.
An
external
policies, the
dismissal
Society
and
led
immediate
Environmental ing.
same
his
C o m m u n i t y is
c o m m o n internal
b r a n d e d racist by T e d H e a t h a n d to
'The
probably
disrupt a
w h i c h d r o v e the country o n t o the
accurate.
which
to
this will have t o w a i t . I a m referring
the
currency, same
treaties.
i n f l a m m a t o r y a n d , it w a s later t o be
means
s h o w n , overly alarmist s p e e c h ,
A l l this a
Suzanne
c o m p a n i e s d e v e l o p i n g n e w fields.
states
A s she w e l l k n o w s it is not the role
that IC's f u n d i n g
of a s u p p l i e r t o s u p p r e s s its o w n
'is
sales or fail t o m e e t the d e m a n d
increasingly
coming from O i l
for its p r o d u c t s . That is the role of
companies
governments.
with
a reputation
single
Imperial recently in a m a n n e r that
Perhaps
she
feels
that the battle against lung c a n c e r
for
would
best
served
by
Philip
government, and
appaling
therefore a c o m -
r o n m e n t a l
M o r r i s d e c i d i n g t o s t o p the m a n u -
led
mon
d e s t r u c t i o n [sic],
facture of cigarettes? The clincher
to
the
London's
unusual s p e c t a c l e dockers
Westminster politician.
to
marching
defend
However,
it
a had
of on
Tory the
unfortunate effect of p u s h i n g o n e
parliament
based
on
electorate.' the
for 'state f u n d s '
one
denial of G l o b a l
is her p r e f e r e n c e
He
Warming... '
over industrial s p o n s o r s h i p . A s w i t h
s a i d this in 1970, and
envi-
be
it
sharply d i v i d e d public o p i n i o n a n d
®
full
N e e d l e s s t o say,
m a n y ' e n v i r o n m e n t a l i s t s ' , her real
th i s
dubious,
d i s a g r e e m e n t s e e m s t o be w i t h the
of the finest political m i n d of the
i m p a c t is only n o w b e i n g felt. S u c h
s w e e p i n g s t a t e m e n t is rubbish. The
capitalist s y s t e m , rather t h a n e n v i -
century t o the sidelines, l e a v i n g t h e
w a s the strength of his feeling o n
highly
ronmental
rest of his w o r k o v e r l o o k e d by s o
E u r o p e , he u r g e d p e o p l e t o v o t e
Institute
in W a s h i n g t o n
m a n y . H e is w i d e l y c r e d i t e d w i t h
Labour
praised
the
inventing T h a t c h e r i s m ,
sharpest
in
1974.
He
was
the
respected
Worldwatch
efforts
of
BP,
issues,
which
serve
m e r e l y as a vehicle for t h e s e c r y p -
just
has
to-socialist
an
v i e w s . Y o u can
best
Commons,
Imperial f u n d i n g s o u r c e , in invest-
help save the planet by not c l o g -
m o n e t a r i s m d e c a d e s before it w a s
w h o w o u l d ruthlessly crush o p p o -
ing in solar a n d w i n d energy. The
g i n g u p Felix w i t h t h e s e silly distor-
embraced
Conservatives.
nents w i t h his frighteningly p o w e r -
Chairman
of
tions.
H e m o o t e d the i d e a of privatisa-
ful intellect, his p r i n c i p a l strength
year that
his c o m p a n y
by
the
espousing
m i n d in t h e
BP announced
last
accepted
THE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO GETTING A FIRST with COLIN DALE Part Four: The Lab Report Abstract A d m i t t e d l y it is less s o t h a n s o m e w o r k y o u
with
hours of futile effort is a s m a l l price t o pay in
y o u , s u p p o r t y o u , a n d w h e n the g o i n g gets real-
order t o a v o i d the h u m i l i a t i o n of being p a t r o n -
s h o u l d be s o m e o n e w h o will c o - o p e r a t e
J will have t o d o , but that d o e s n ' t s t o p it b e i n g
ly t o u g h , s o m e o n e o n w h o m y o u can offload all
ised by a s a d p o s t g r a d w h o d i d n ' t m a n a g e to
'
achingly t e d i o u s .
responsibility w h i l e y o u g o
pull
'
Introduction
Basically, a n y o n e will d o as l o n g as they're not
D e m o n s t r a t o r s are always a r o u n d (usually a bar)
the
bigger than y o u - that w a y y o u will sustain less
t o d e m o n s t r a t e h o w easy it can be to earn eight
i
purpose of writing lab reports is t o give p o t e n -
d a m a g e w h e n things get violent. Y o u m a y e n d
q u i d an hour.
I
tial e m p l o y e e s an i d e a of y o u r ability t o c o m -
up with s o m e o n e w h o only turns up every other
I
municate technical i n f o r m a t i o n clearly a n d pre-
Tuesday, invariably with a b a d hangover
!
cisely.
you
I
to m o s t c o m p a n i e s , w h o are l o o k i n g increasing-
Alternatively, y o u m a y get s o m e o n e w h o is less
for the first part yet, a n d y o u r partner w a s last
|
ly for e m p l o y e e s w h o c a n deliberately m i s i n -
c o n s c i e n t i o u s than yourself.
s e e n rolling a r o u n d in a gutter singing 'I'll Be
|
f o r m a n d distort d a t a t o their advantage.
They
After three hours in the library desperately
|
are also searching for soulless a u t o m a t o n s w h o
trying t o u n d e r s t a n d w h a t the lab script is o n
action
I
can routinely p e r f o r m the m o s t m i n d - n u m b i n g -
about, y o u finally give u p a n d m a k e a start o n it
between
I
ly boring tasks for very little r e w a r d . That is w h y
Y o u m a y be forgiven for t h i n k i n g that
But these skills are only of marginal use
don't
even
have
lab
d o w n the
on
pub.
(and
Tuesdays).
while
he
was
d o i n g his
first
degree.
Things c o n t i n u e in a similar vein for several w e e k s , until y o u s u d d e n l y realise that it is the last s e s s i o n .
Y o u haven't e v e n g o t any results
There For Y o u ' . S o there is only o n e c o u r s e of open
to
y o u , the
one
that
comes
blind panic a n d h a r d liquor, namely
anyway. After all, it never s t o p p e d Einstein, d i d
fabrication.
• lab reports are m a r k e d by w e i g h t rather t h a n
it?
Results
• content.
over the technician's face w h e n y o u t o l d h i m
The University of L o n d o n takes a very d i m
w h i c h experiment y o u w e r e d o i n g ; this is g o i n g
v i e w of bogus data, but I think it's fine as l o n g
Y o u d o n ' t seriously believe that any-
• o n e c o u l d be b o t h e r e d t o read t h e m d o y o u ? | Theory
crept
t o be O K . That illusion persists until y o u see the
as y o u d o n ' t get caught.
well
apparatus. The diffraction grating / bubbling vat
is for.
maintained e q u i p m e n t w i t h w h i c h t o a s s e s s the validity of scientific theory or i m p r o v e y o u r
of c h e m i c a l s / rat's testicles y o u are to be w o r k -
results can look reasonably g o o d as l o n g as the
ing o n bear absolutely no resemblance w h a t s o -
errors are justified in a c o m p l e t e l y i n c o m p r e hensible w a y . C h o o s e a f o r m u l a (the bigger the
You . !
Never m i n d the k n o w i n g smirk that
are
provided with
up-to-date,
!
practical skills, u n d er the s u p e r v i s i o n of helpful
ever t o the d e s c r i p t i o n in the text. Instead, y o u
'
demonstrators.
In s c i e n c e , a theory c a n never
have a e q u i p m e n t that looks as if it w a s sal-
better, it needn't
' '
be p r o v e d , only d i s p r o v e d (or s o m e t h i n g ) . Basically, this m e a n s that anything that c o m e s
v a g e d f r o m the engine r o o m of the Titanic, a n d
t h o s e n u m b e r s out.
functions equally well. After t w o hours of curs-
Discussion
I
under this h e a d i n g is about t o be p r o v e d utterly
ing
I I
false as s o o n as y o u w a l k into the lab. Method
smoke,
I
First of all, y o u have t o find yourself a lab
I
partner. The c h o i c e m u s t be m a d e carefully. It
I
at
each
other
through c l o u d s
y o u a n d y o u r partner
of
discover
black that
y o u ' v e tried t o c o n n e c t a wire the w r o n g w a y round.
O f course, y o u c o u l d have a s k e d
a
d e m o n s t r a t o r right at the start, but a c o u p l e of
This is w h a t statistics
N o - o n e understands statistics, s o any
mean
anything) a n d churn
The less said the better at this stage. Conclusion Your practical experiences m a y or m a y not agree w i t h m y theory.
13 February 1 9 9 8
COLUMNS
10
There's nothing the press
occasion,
like
amendment
to
do
more
than
they
felt
like
it. A n
Murdoch for all it's worth. The
worry here is that there is a pow-
the
bill
in
Independent
erful m e d i a baron, who isn't even
to
the
is present
in dire
Lords, proposed by the Lib D e m s ,
financial straits, and the
price-
British, and may not have British
Opportunity to do so was recent-
was
at
cutting at the Times will serve to
interests as his first priority. The
ly given, when
Murdoch,
write
about
themselves.
specifically
aimed
specifically,
further deepen its crisis. A s they
Labour Government will remem-
bringing attention to the tactics
the Times, whose circulation has
said, there is no point on having a
ber
Rupert Mu rd oc h, owner of News
increased to 800
loss-making
Labour's planned policy of ban-
the
press
was
or
more
000,
partly at
title
unless
you
well
in the
International, was using to m a i n -
the expense of the Telegraph and
intend to rid the market of a c o m -
ning
tain his control in the newspaper
Independent,
by
petitor. They are worried that this
media was
and
partly
Eighties when
foreign ownership of naturally
the
ruthlessly
industry.
increasing the number of people
will reduce press diversity, which
o p p o s e d by M u r d o c h , with savage
Murdoch had been engaging in
reading broadsheets. The amend-
can only be a bad thing. Murdoch
effect in the polls. He was send-
various price cuts in the Times,
ment passed by 121 votes to 93,
already
ing a warning to anyone who dare
subsidising t h e m
and creates a headache for Tony
the newspaper 'Today', for what-
from his Sky
single-handedly ditched
oppose h i m again.
network profits and running the
Recently, Ministers hinted at
Times at a loss, his opponents
deal that would get them off the
say. The Times countered
Hamish Common
that,
saying in its editorial that
Times/Sunday Times ran at a very good profit (although it didn't the Times
itself
did -
could
and that what
doing was
morally
it
vent an embarrassing rebellion since
was
the
single mothers
backbenchers
Eye
the
Sunday Times be subsidising the Times?)
hook in the C o m m o n s and pre-
Westminster
the
a
know
vote,
that
they
have the muscle to cause problems for the Government if they so desired. The Government may introduce
acceptable.
an
amendment
that
will deal 'more precisely' with the
Murdoch has many enemies - one does not get to become a world-
Blair. He will have no problem in
ever reason. This removed a cen-
problem of newspaper wars. This
wide press baron without making
overturning it in the C o m m o n s ,
tre-left paper, leaving only one,
will act as a c o m p r o m i s e to dif-
some -
but it will look like he is riding
the
the
fuse the situation without losing
roughshod over the will of
Independent
threat.
face. But s o o n , Blair may have to
bully,
and he is known as
in the
economic
a
sense.
the
Independent is
left. under
Now
make a decision. Should he keep
What brought this issue to atten-
House (which he is). Labour and
Murdoch
tion
the Tories both oppose the plan,
papers espouse those views that
his
the
more out of fear than anything
are in his own best self-interest.
Murdoch going, or should he leg-
House, to keep us in line with EU
else, but there are plenty of MPs
His
islate in the interest of the British
Law. These are the occasions that
on both sides that would like to
reflected in his papers' editorial
press and people? The two
demonstrate
vote for the amendment.
line. The Sun has now got a repu-
sadly not the same.
was
presently
the
Lords
the
C o m p e t i t i o n Bill
going
the -
through
usefulness
since
the
of
Upper
is known to
opposition to
the
have
his
Euro is
tation of winning parties election.
Polly Toynbee, a known opponent
House are unpaid and cannot be
of M u r d o c h ,
been
It is said you can't win one with-
fired, they only turn up if they feel
writing in the Guardian, calling on
out them - a myth Murdoch is
like it, and it seems that on this
the great and the good to oppose
quite happy to keep going. The
has
recently
famed
( M M A s a s p e c i a l b o n u s this w e e k , here
per a n d w h a t e v e r herbs y o u have
are t w o r e c i p e s f r o m t h e c o o k s o
around .
w i s e , he a l m o s t m a k e s p r e p a r i n g
C h o p a n d fry t h e o n i o n a n d gatlic until they're a l s o t h o r o u g h l y
Put in the o v e n till t h e pastry is
brown, adding s o m e pepper and a
dinner parties enjoyable...
nice a n d b r o w n , a b o u t 2 0 m i n u t e s .
tbl o f p a p r i k a near t h e e n d .
1. Tarte a la Tomate
2. Chicken Cacciatore
glass o f w i n e (we've b e e n o v e r this
®"
1 chicken, dead
a large p o t . H e a t u p a n d leave t o
1 onion
s i m m e r gently for at least a n h o u r .
D e g l a z e t h e frying p a n w i t h t h e before) a n d c o m b i n e e v e r y t h i n g in ®"
Vi lb ripe t o m a t o e s
®'
4 - 5 t b l dijon m u s t a r d
r J P
®'
Short crust pastry m a d e
»•
with
8
explained
oz
flour in
a
etc
as
previous
Burning Water
®"
5 c l o v e s of garlic
A great c a r b o h y d r a t e
accom-
1 tin t o m a t o e s
p a n i m e n t t o this is p o l e n t a - a
1 glass of w i n e
golden yellow paste m a d e
L o a d s a olive o il
g r o u n d u p c o r n . It's available f r o m
from
m o s t m a r k e t street s t o r e s a n d t h e Preheat your oven to 210°C, gas mark
7. M e a n w h i l e
roll o u t t h e
pastry t o a b o u t 2 - 3 m m thick a n d p l a c e it in y o u w e l l g r e a s e d tart t i n . S p r e a d t h e m u s t a r d o u t evenly a r o u n d t h e pastry (like t o m a t o o n a p i z z a ) . Slice t h e t o m a t o e s thinly a n d lay t h e m o u t a r o u n d t h e tart s o that t h e y o v e r l a p by a b o u t '/» a slice e a c h . S p r i n k l e w i t h salt, p e p -
Hack the chicken t o pieces. Y o u s h o u l d e n d u p w i t h 2 legs, 2 w i n g bits, 2 breasts a n d a c a r c a s s . H e a t up a b o u t 1 c m of oil in a frying p a n until it's s m o k i n h o t . Fry all t h e c h i c k e n p i e c e s until well b r o w n . You'll p r o b a b l y find it easier t o d o a c o u p l e o f p i e c e s at a t i m e a n d I'm t o l d it's better t o fry t h e skin side first - it h e l p s t o retain t h e juices. 1
i n s t r u c t i o n s o n t h e p a c k e t are u s u ally r e a s o n a b l e s o f o l l o w t h e m .
Antoine
friendship
with
are
E A S T E R VACATION EMPLOYMENT FROM SATURDAY, 28th MARCH 1998 TO WEDNESDAY 22nd APRIL 1998 S T U D E N T F U L L
C L E A N E R S R E Q U I R E D
H O T E L S E R V I C E
T O
P R O V I D E
W I T H I N T H E H A L L S
A
O F
R E S I D E N C E S .
• Hours of work: 9.30 a.m. -1.30 p.m. • 6 days per week (including Bank Holidays and Weekends) • One day off during the week • Total of 24 hours per week • Hourly Rate £3.75 plus accommodation and breakfast. Job description and application forms available from: Residences Office First Floor 15 Prince's Gardens Tel: 0171 594 9445 (external) or 59442 (internal) e-mail address l.davis@ic.ac.uk In permit,
Domestic Manager, February 1998
12
13 February 1 9 9 8
COLUMNS
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Choo, choo...
I
w e n t h o m e this w e e k e n d , b l a z i n g a d i a g o n a l
ilege of seats, I w a s f o r c e d t o sit in the s m o k i n g
trail u p t h e c o u n t r y t o m y m u r k y L i v e r p u d l i a n
s e c t i o n ; it w a s either that or o u t s i d e t h e m a l -
first-class
a b o d e . It m a y be a n e a s y target for literary
f u n c t i o n i n g toilets. O n c e 1 h a d s e c u r e d a seat
allegations of restrictive p r a c t i c e s ; I m a d e it t o
attack, but t h e o r d e a l h a s f o r c e d m e t o m a k e
a m o n g s t e m p t y ranks "Reserved" by s e e m i n g l y
a n o t h e r negative c o m m e n t
Lighting, it s e e m s , is n o w r e s e r v e d for the customers,
presumably to
counter
the buffet car, after p a s s i n g t h r o u g h a carriage w h e r e t h e lights h a d d e c i d e d n o t t o w o r k . This
about o n e of our
great British t r a d i t i o n s ; t h e fantastic a n d historic
r e s u l t e d in m u c h s t u m b l i n g , b u f f e t i n g f r o m side
railway s y s t e m .
t o s i d e , o c c a s i o n a l m u t t e r i n g s o f " O h , I ' m sorry.
Privatisation o f t h e railways is here t o stay;
I d i d n ' t s e e y o u there," a n d a l l e g e d c a s e s o f sex-
w i t h the g o v e r n m e n t trying t o m a k e as m u c h
ual h a r a s s m e n t . . I t h e n h a d t o return t o m y seat,
m o n e y as is a b s o l u t e l y p o s s i b l e , w h i l e craftily
b l i n d e d by t h e bright lights o f t h e buffet, c l u t c h -
shifting t h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r i n c o m p e t e n c e o n t o
ing
the likes of R i c h a r d B r a n s o n . N i c e g u y t h o u g h he
w h i l e trying h a r d n o t t o w a l k into a n y shell-suit-
m y limp sandwiches a n d scalding coffee
s e e m s , a m a n w h o s p e n d s s o m u c h t i m e in b a l -
ed Samson-size Scouse sportsmen. A n d which
l o o n s is b o u n d t o be r e s p o n s i b l e for a lot of h o t
s o p h i s t h a d t h e i d e a o f affixing a full-length mir-
air; a n a s s e r t i o n w h i c h s e e m s t o be c o n f i r m e d
ror t o t h e w a l l i n s i d e t h e toilet? W a t c h i n g m y s e l f
by his p r o m i s e s t o "raise t h e s t a n d a r d of t h e rail-
p e r f o r m a call o f nature is n o t m y i d e a of luxury
ways..."
travel. Our
M y sister t o l d m e recently that o l ' Blighty
o n e h o p e is that t h e m o n e y r e c e i v e d
has t h e highest rail fares in t h e w o r l d . H a v i n g
f r o m ticket sales m i g h t be i n v e s t e d t o i m p r o v e
p a i d o n e s c o r e p o u n d s a n d t e n for a return tick-
t h e s e m e a g r e services. T h e u l t i m a t e irony, h o w ever, is that m y ticket w a s n o t e v e n s t a m p e d ,
et, I w a s i m m e d i a t e l y g i v e n t h e p l e a s u r e of staring at a n i l l u m i n a t e d sign p r e a c h i n g a s e r m o n
Why aren't they all painted red by law?
and
will be s u b s e q u e n t l y u s e d by o n e of m y
friends t o c o m e a n d visit m e . H a r k ! W a s that the
f r o m a b o v e a l o n g t h e lines o f "train n o t ready".
s o u n d of s o m e o n e s h o o t i n g t h e m s e l v e s in the
This s i t u a t i o n p r e v a i l e d for half a n hour, w h i l e my seat-obtaining punctuality advantage slowly
phantom
commuters,
God's Mobius-warped
e v a p o r a t e d , like a c u p o f c o l d , u n d r i n k a b l e rail-
s e n s e o f h u m o u r m a d e a n a p p e a r a n c e by inflict-
way c o f f e e . W h e n w e w e r e finally g i v e n t h e priv-
ing a terrible plague u p o n m e ; hunger.
foot?
All
Now Sell
Reams of A4 Paper (500 sheets) For Only ÂŁ2.40 inc. VAT For primâ&#x201E;˘, out special Valentine message. Don't let him/her d o w n !
FROM
CCS SHOP
T
Level 4 Mechanical Engineering Building ext. 46953 ccs-shop@ic.ac.uk m-
m
m)
Campbell
WHEREFORE ART T H O U , R O M E O ?
3 February 1 9 9 8
Once again, the 14th Jehruary rears it's dedcate, romantic head, sneaking gently into our otherwise CoveCess Cives. It's pagan, ageCess Beauty eche-ws the tacky andugCy commerciaCism of other festivaCs, giving us the only 24 hours in the year in -which we may express our true feedngs for our Coved ones -without fear of rejection or stupidity. Those -who truCy are in Cove; even from afar often take the time to conjure a -witty phrase or poem to honour their desired one. iHere at fedx we are honoured to print hut a tiny seCection of such Cines fromthe tens of thousands of amourous hopefuls. /And myself; my "VaCentine is working in a bar on Saturday night whiCst I go home to bury my recently, deceaseduncCe. Love to you aCC... xxx
H e y Stud M u f f i n , You and a dozen red roses are enough to turn me on... forget the Karma Sutra L o v e M e xxx S. D o n ' t forget the cinnamon
GrecnPca H a v e you posed your question to Natalie? Your green veg will not bear sweet red fruit unless you see silver and pink. But if all does not go well, just send me an S O S (but not on valentines Day please!) Spaghetti Q u e e n .
Geology Dave is into rocks. U n i o n Jacks are on his socks. Impressed by her pool room talent, to the Italian girl he's very galent. W e wish h i m luck on 'Valentia's' day We're sure he'll get his w i c k e d way
T o teddy, bibouna and the swedish-blond madame tar tine, I won't be able to spend this day with the 3 of you, I won't be there to complain about our miserable lifes, But I still hope you have a wonderful Valentine's day T h a t a Prince charming will take you out, and treat you like the Princesses of the day Happy Valentine's day from the other side of the Atlantic! From Y O U K N O W W H O !
To ALICIA AGIUS "The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra" L o v e always, Pattick K . V a n Jamk
T o Shereagh I love you more than anyone,' anything, ever. You mean the world to me. L o v e always Matt
Sweet Viola, You have nice eyes and of course great legs. I bet your legs is more beautiful without boots or shoes or even socks:) fancy a feet massage? It is a delicious cake? but you have to take it on your own wish :) xxx
It doesn't matter if you don't k n o w my name or who I am. It only matters if you k n o w how I feel about you. Since that time you smiled at me in the library, I have always admired you. I always sit by the coffee machine outside 217 between lectures just to get a glance of you. I hear your friends call you Ryan . But I don't know how to come closer to you. F e l i x is the onyl way to reveal my passion for you. Please forgive me. I am your junior from the first year, the one with a shy dimple. I will be absoluetly thrilled if you would just meet me for a coffee todav at S in the J C R . D y i n g to see ya! Yours fruity & juicy Strawberry
There was a young bloke called T o m H u l l W h o certainly never was dull.... Apart from the time (oh shit this won't rhyme) W h e n he plays championship manager! P.S. I love you loads T o m .
MANIFESTOS "Elections? Again? Already?" I'm afraid so. O n c e again, it's time to get out and vote o n w h o you want to be in charge of Imperial College Union. Eight candidates have stood for the four positions, and to help you decide which to vote for, each have written their manifestos (below). You can also see t h e m per-
13 February
1998
f o r m live at the hustings (6pm M o n d a y 16 Feb in dBs, 6 p m Tuesday 17 Feb in the Reynolds Building, Charing Cross campus and 6 p m W e d n e s d a y 18 Feb in Glady's bar, St M a r y ' s campus). Voting takes place 1 Oam - 5 p m M o n d a y 23 and Tuesday 14 Feb in all departments. V O T E !
t
e Dave Hellard: the M a n , the M y t h , the Legend The question every voter should ask as they step towards the ballot box is w h o is David Hellard and why I should vote for him? I know I have. I a m not the traditional Union 'stiff and I think that worries some people, the fact that I'm not just a Union official w h o finds himself with no-where higher to g o , no more power to get other than to run for President. So why a m 1 different? Simply, I work in the Union, I live in the Union and I live for the Union. I have spent my time in and around the Union and unlike m a n y previous contenders,
merely CV seeking point p i m p s , 1 see problems, I see issues and it's time s o m e o n e s t o o d for the right reasons, to make a change. Next year students will be c o m ing to University with less money than ever before. The Union in turn will be relied upon even more heavily. The money it provides through jobs and funding, c o m b i n e d with the easy access to cheap living could be the difference b e t w e e n the students being able to afford to c o m e to Imperial or not. The a d d e d pressure of money on students will also see a need for our counselling services to be even wider reaching.
This is why I must be president, to m a i n t a i n the high standards already set by the U n i o n and to assure that the changes that need to be made will be m a d e . I work in the Union, I live in the Union and I live for the Union. It's time for the students to make their mark.
t
n For nearly four years 1 have enjoyed being a part of ICU at various levels through being involved with clubs, using the bars and catering, as an employee and more recently sitting on ICU Council - last year as Chair of the C o m m u n i t y Action G r o u p and currently as Council Chair. I n o w have the opportunity to d o more for ICU and all of its members. Facilities October will see a significant increase in the number of Students o n the South Kensington c a m p u s . This will bring increased d e m a n d s on facilities: • Beit Q u a d redevelopment - These plans need to be i m p l e m e n t e d as quickly as possible in order to provide
sufficient facilities for the increasing number of students w h o wish to use them. • The current trend within college to reduce the amount of social space provided in departments must be halted a n d , where possible, reversed. • Throughout this change, it should never be forgotten that Imperial is now a multi-campus university. I will fight to ensure that facilities at the outlying campuses d o not suffer. Representation • D e p . Reps. - the current system does not always work and needs to be re-examined. • Awareness - effective c o m m u n i c a tion is required if ICU is to truly rep-
resent its members. Accommodation • It is important to ensure that the debacle at the beginning of the year does not recur. Students have the right to expect a certain level of service from the A c c o m m o d a t i o n Office. • A vetting system for Landlords should be encouraged. I a m not going to promise things that I know I cannot achieve, but I can promise that if y o u elect me for ICU President, you will be electing someone w h o has the experience, enthusiasm and determination to lead your Union effectively through this period of change.
n As an M S c student, I've had much time in this college to appreciate the variety of clubs and societies within the college, and I think I've got a lot out of t h e m . So essentially the major reason behind my candidacy is to allow me the chance to see them improve even further. Next year, as ever, we shall be faced with further integration: the opening of the B M S building to new students will bring a whole load more students onto the campus, where they will be much better placed to take advantage of the facilities here. These facilities will need to be improved to c o p e , but not at the
expense of those currently off the c a m p u s . Biology's move from the quad will also have major implications for the union - plenty of expansion potential, meaning new rooms, potentially for clubs needing them, and more space for college nightlife.
I intend to put my commitment and effort into improving all our clubs, not just those based o n the campus, and ensuring the facilities, such as the sports grounds, the resource centre and store s p a c e s are continually maintained at an adequate level. That's all folks, vote for me.
I c o m e from a varied background within the college, encompassing some C C U involvement in the distant past, occasional rugby playing, the o d d cultural society and a hefty involvement running various recreational clubs, primarily the canoe club. With this experience I feel I have a useful working knowledge with which to begin, and 1 learn quickly too.
3 February
1998
MANIFESTOS
15
I
l
w Ha ha ha! Cackle cackle! I, the Evil One, have returned! Yes, master of chaos, chief of destruction and shatterer of dreams is here to plauge another batch of hopeful candidates. What? You don't know w h o I
am? I a m the a l l - p o w e r f u l N e w Election, and it is within my grasp to eliminate the weak and the stupid from these elections. I'm standing for all posts, so if y o u think that all the candidates of that position are noth-
ing but pitiful, unworthy retches, then vote for M E and I shall destroy t h e m ! But greatest evil is yet to c o m e if I a m victorious, the elections will be held again. H a ha ha! H A H A H A HAAAAAA!
y
s Meeting the needs of your Union Next academic year will undoubtedly be the most important year in the management of your Union. This is because for the first time in ten years, all the union clubs and societies, services and trading outlets will be financially s u p p o r t e d f r o m within the South Kensington c am pus. However, there are bound to many teething problems and I d o not want anyone to suffer because of this. Not everything can be anticipated in this matter so the Deputy President of Finance and Services must be able to respond to problems both fast and effectively. Fortunately, I know h o w to carry out what c o u l d be an overwhelming task. I have experience in the management
of people and union finances from the club and society level right through to my current position as Recreational Clubs C o m m i t t e e Chairman. I have learnt that the only way to make sure things don't go w r o n g is by implementing a system of proper instruction a n d effective c o m m u n i c a t i o n throughout the membership of the Union. Believe it or not, m u c h of this system is already in place. All it needs is a bit of forward thinking and the right person to implement it. You will all have seen what happens when this is not done.
a c c o m m o d a t i o n support may well be needed over and above what already needs improving. I will be there as a member of the team to help implement suitable changes within the financial constraints of the union. Sadly, all this is not guaranteed to happen unless y o u vote for James Carter: Deputy President, Finance and Services.
Please remember that your Union is here to s uppo rt y o u r n e e d s and nobody else's. Better suited services including welfare, catering and
e Experience, personality, enthusiasm, commitment. A good candidate needs not only to have t h e m all, but to show t h e m t o o . It is m y job in these weeks running up to the election, to s how y o u that I d o . The position of DP(F&S) involves the day to day handling of the Unions Finances. Although not described as such, it is a job, and one w h i c h demands the same high standards as my current one. As a computer c o n sultant to BT I work in a t e a m , and it requires the four qualities above, and more. The DP(F&S) sits on, and chairs various committees, and has to keep in constant contact with other Union
staff and members. You could have the best accountant in the world, but if y o u can't approach him with your problems, then you're wasting your time. A club treasurer may not understand h o w to create a budget, or might not understand what a Five Year Plan is. Hitting them with, what they might see as m u m b o jumbo finance speak, is not going to help. They're not going to learn, and they're not g o i n g to go away and get it right, which makes the D P ' s job harder. Why not just explain it properly to t h e m in the first place, and help them u n d e r s t a n d . That w a y things are m a d e easier for everyone, and it helps the Union run like the well oiled engine that it should be.
This year we will have students arriving at IC w h o will be encountering financial difficulty with the introduction of tuition fees. 1 believe the Union needs to cater for this new problem, and provide information, and help about the fees, and any implications they may have. 1 want to see ICU services keep their high standard, and offer more. I want the job.
y
m Imperial College will enter a new era in October with the arrival of the m e d i c a l students o n the South Kensington campus. This will undoubtedly effect the members of the 2 0 0 or so clubs and societies of ICU, whose interests are the responsibility of the DP(CS^). The current DP(C&S) is already dealing with the well-publicised B U S A situation and councils decision for hybrid entry. This is a position with which I a m in total a g r e e m e n t as a means for smoother integration before the eventual, but seemingly distant, total merger of all clubs c o m p e t i n g in B U S A competitions. There has been concern that other clubs and societies
will be forced to merge with their equivalent on other campuses, a situation I cannot see happening and, due to the fact that many clubs may be detrimentally effected by a large increase in membership and are not under the restricting regulations of BUSA-like organisations, d o not support. So why vote for me? I a m currently the Tour Manager of 1CU Rugby Club organising a tour to South Africa in July '98 for both medical and nonmedical players. This position has given me the unique experiences of working within the Union structure whilst dealing with College Officials and students of all disciplines, as well
as people and businesses from outside the education system. 1 also have a keen interest in the theatre and outdoor pursuits, and although not a member of the relevant clubs in 1CU, 1 have been a member of societies outside of college, hopefully proving that I a m not what is generally referred to in the states as a Jock. M a y 1 finish by saying vote 1 for A d a m Cherrington
13 February 1998
MANIFESTOS
16
x The success of Felix depends not Just on the editor, but on the students who volunteer their time to make it the professional publication it is. M y first priority as Felix Editor will be to encourage more students to become involved through increased publicity, especially at the start of the Autumn t e r m . A s Imperial's campuses continue to merge, I feel it is increasingly important that students from all parts of the college contribute to the newspaper. To this end Felix will have a representative at each of the main campuses, w h o would be in regular contact for news and information. Felix is a newspaper, not a magazine,
and its primary concern should be issues relevant to students. However, Felix should also entertain the readership: The diverse features and review sections will stay, but I feel the layout needs clarification to m a k e t h e m more accessible. I want to improve the quality of writing throughout Felix, specifically the reviews and sports pages; articles can be well written whilst retaining their wit and entertainment value. Felix is and will remain independent, and I will protect its editorial freedom from external influences. It will not take any particular political stance, but will reflect the opinions of all stu-
dents at the college. For Felix to maintain and improve upon its current high standards, it is vital that it has s o m e o n e c o m m i t t e d and organised in the position of editor. Last year I successfully co-edited Phoenix, Imperial's arts magazine, as well as running my o w n society with its o w n c o l u m n in Felix. As News Editor, 1 a m very familiar with how Felix is run, both technically and administratively. I a m c o m m i t t e d and organised, and with your support I can ensure that Felix remains an informative, entertaining and excellent publication.
x
k Fresh Felix is always in need of a constant stream of fresh ideas. This means that it is important for people at c o l lege to get involved if their ideas and views are to be expressed. I intend to make Felix m u c h more accessible to everyone w h o wants to contribute. I want to also include a regular new section where clubs and societies can tell us either about their events or just what they d o . Imaginative Any publication lives or dies by the quality of its articles. I intend to make sure that next year the features and
columns in Felix are not only innovative and interesting but also relevant to students here at Imperial College. Diverse The most important part of Felix is its content, it is important to have current and accurate news to inform readers of events not only at College but also all the issues relating to students in L o n d o n . To create a truly diverse Felix, however, it is important to have a reviews section that is entertaining and informative as well as a sports section that is inclusive and up to date.
Restyled For a long time, Felix has been an unhappy c o m p r o m i s e between a magazine and a newspaper. I intend to make next year's issue into a magazine. This opens up a whole new range of possibilities for the design and layout a n d , I guarantee, will result in the best looking Felix ever! 1 care enough about the future of Felix not to just let it become a 'rag' that people pick up o n a Friday morning I want to give it a breath of fresh air. If y o u want a Felix y o u can be proud of next year, make sure y o u vote for me.
ICU is weei; •ieb Keep T ^ ^ p P r ^ ^ ^ - ^ i ~*tvelcome Tollraievo-Wcd IK ' Fe~ as Boot: iJflBtor'i CWI-SMB 'WK> 1 1
• M k i 2 .
Imperial ColleWor u t ! M H M * £ " s t a f l ^ S m p u J g P f annual l e oajirstvisit). Doors (P #f5 mir^^lBefore time - is no smo^r^^jJ^uViiiKs'Brom.r^ V l a r i f i ^ a r are welcome. arJ
3 February
17
MUSIC
1998
MUSIC - 17
23 - ARTS
Dawn of the Replicants, Kristin Hersh a n d Philadelphia Bluntz r e v i e w e d , singles g a l o r e , a n d Tha Bomb!
Provide Easy Access (for the boys), c h e a p o p e r a (!) a n d g e t s all e x c i t e d over C h a r i n g C r o s s Light O p e r a S o c ' s latest p r o d u c t i o n Hot Mikado
CLUBBING - 19 The Electric Cafe is back, Goldie a n d Off-Centre c h e c k e d o u t , plus Scott Garcia c d s to be w o n .
FILM - 22
^
R e v i e w s are g i v e n a m a r k out of five as f o l l o w s . . .
Rhubarb
Scooby Doo
k k-kk
24 - PUZZLES
Custard
•kick H o n g K o n g Fooey
J l F o r t h o s e w h o .solved !•• w e e k ' s evil p u z z l e , here's another. For •ordinary mortals• 4MMLve an easy p r i z e c r o s s w o r d . Enjoy.
k k
Ulysses
<
Frank O z ' latest picture In and O u t r e v i e w e d , plus the v i d e o s Bean a n d Twin Town a n d the great w e e k l y film competition.
*
Cities of G o l d
111
No Stars
Dogtannian
S
One
DAWN OF THE REPLICANTS
KRISTIN HERSH
°±² ¯ ,
Strange Angels
Two Arms, Two Legs
F
ive p i e c e indie b a n d s are t e n a p e n n y t h e s e d a y s . It's a l w a y s the s a m e o l d thing, o n e m o p headed, s w a y i n g bloke sings, a sweaty o n e o n the d r u m s , t w o playing guitars, a n d s o m e ligger that plays the k e y b o a r d or t a m b o u r i n e or just s o r t o f d a n c e s a r o u n d , i.e. B e z a n d t h a t ' s the
³ ³ ³/ '´
s t a n d a r d five p i e c e . D a w n are different, they piss a r o u n d w i t h their line u p m o r e o f t e n t h a n President C l i n t o n shags his secretaries, a n d t h a t ' s a lot! O n e m i n u t e t h e r e ' s only t w o of t h e m o n a track, p r o d u c i n g a m i n i m a l m e l o d y . T h e n the next t h i n g y o u k n o w three p e o p l e are singing, s o m e t i m e s w i t h scary B e a c h B o y s like h a r m o n i e s , three o n guitars, t w o o n k e y b o a r d s a n d thank G o d o n l y o n e o n the d r u m s . Figure that o n e out w i t h only five m e m b e r s ! ! N o t o n l y d o they d o that but they also e m p l o y the m o s t innovative i n s t r u m e n t s this s i d e of the m o o n . Interesting noises are p r o d u c e d by Phasers, S p e e d w a y , Hollow-bone Nose Drone, M C 3 0 3 , H a - H a , N u m e r i c s , Cigarettes, a n d finally a D r o n e - S t i c k Squealer. H m m very interesting i n d e e d . D o w n to the m u s i c , D a w n p r o d u c e a pleasant, if not slightly dark s o u n d i n g n o i s e . They are not t o o heavily guitar o r i e n t a t e d a n d c a n o f t e n s o u n d like o n e of the better
b a n d s of the early eighties. Tracks ¾¿ÀÁ like ½ Miller are s u n g in a m i l d ly d e p r e s s i n g m o n o t o n e that a d d s a t m o s p h e r e a n d m e a n i n g to the w o r d s . H o w e v e r at t i m e s their use of crazy i n s t r u m e n t s d e t r a c t s f r o m their essentially best material. The m o r e s i m p l i s t i c m e l o d i e s are s u p p o r t e d very c a p a b l y by their m i r i a d of vocalists w i t h lyrics b e i n g m e a n ingful a n d full of e m o t i o n . O n m o r e t h a n o n e o c c a s i o n I f o u n d myself c o m p a r i n g the b a n d a n d m u c h of the m u s i c they p r o d u c e to the material p r o d u c e d by Frank Black, formally of the Pixies. O n tracks like Sgt Crowley, D a w n s o u n d m o r e like a mixture of The Cult a n d Soft C e l l . ÃÀÃÄÅÆ M y p e r s o n a l favourite is  w h i c h is a m o r e m o d e r n s o u n d i n g , up beat track very r e m i n i s c e n t of the better, new, British bands a r o u n d at the m o m e n t . N e x t b i g t h i n g , w h o k n o w s , this c o u l d be just the D a w n for the R e p l i c a n t s . El
Ramzi
PHILADELPHIA BLUNTZ µ¶·¸¹º»¸¼¶·a
Bluntz
³ ³
A
s the p r o d u c t i o n of d a n c e m u s i c b e c o m e s m o r e prolific, the e m e r g e n c e of w h a t can only be d e s c r i b e d as e a s y list e n i n g d a n c e m u s i c g r o w s . The m u s i c itself is thus a c o n t r a d i c t i o n in terms, w h a t s h o u l d be m a k i n g y o u get u p a n d d a n c e , s i m p l y w a f t s a r o u n d y o u , h a v i n g little, if any, effect. P h i l a d e l p h i a B l u n t z are a clear e x a m p l e of this. Their m u s i c is d r u m a n d bass b a s e d , but e v e n at its m o s t involving m o m e n t s only
inspires the t a p p i n g of a foot. I s u p p o s e w h a t w e have is a l m o s t a m b i e n t , but the feeling is g e n e r a l ly less s l e e p y . The m o o d uns urprisingly is q u i t e neutral, but d o e s s h o w at t i m e s p o t e n t i a l t o g o w h e r e y o u ' d never e x p e c t . S t a n d out tracks are the funky Blue, a n d Hullabaloo w h i c h is p r o b ably the m o s t involving track o n the a l b u m , if only for its slightly g r a t i n g v o c a l s e c t i o n . The a l b u m t h e n finishes w i t h Intro, w h i c h s u g g e s t s t h e a l b u m s h o u l d be o n
repeat, the s t a n d a r d s e t t i n g for all m y b a c k g r o u n d listening. O v e r a l l a m e d i o c r e a l b u m that inspires little, but will h e l p a i d s l e e p for s p r i n g t e r m i n s o m n i a c s . James
³ ³ ³
T
h r o w i n g M u s e Kristin H e r s h makes beautiful music. Sparse, precise acoustic a r r a n g e m e n t s of articulate s o p r a no, expertly p i c k e d guitar, a r p e g g i o e d h a r p s i c h o r d a n d only the occasional tambourine providing p e r c u s s i o n ; the e m p h a s i s is directe d s o l e l y t o e a c h s o n g itself. H e r s h ' s lively c h o r d structures a n d lullaby m e l o d i e s at first misdirect a n d t h e n b r i n g into s h a r p relief s o m e chilling libretto, m u c h in the f a s h i o n of a m o r e s u b d u e d a n d less w o r l d w e a r y Kurt C o b a i n . The first t w o tracks d o little to inspire but t h e n are f o l l o w e d by s e v e n c o n s e c u t i v e r e c o r d i n g s of u n d e n i a b l e brilliance a n d unders t a t e d p o w e r . T o u c h i n g o n subject m a t t e r s m a n y artists shy f r o m , Strange Angels is an uneasy listen. Clever w o r d p l a y and pleading e m o t i o n c o m b i n e well in the first half but the s e c o n d leans t o w a r d self i n d u l g e n c e ; the s i m p l i c i t y of the a r r a n g e m e n t . If this r e c o r d had the five w e a k e r tracks r e m o v e d , and w i t h a m o r e o p e n - m i n d e d a n d less indulgent p r o d u c e r than H e r s h , I w o u l d have b e e n s o m u c h m o r e g u s h i n g in m y praise. W i t h luck the f o r t h c o m i n g T h r o w i n g M u s e s a l b u m will be better. If, if, if. W h a t m i g h t have b e e n , w h a t might Mr.Trout have b e e n . . . El
18
MUSIC
13 February
1998
S
j The Hybirds - See m e through ' " H B Alright t u n e , s o u n d i n g a bit repetitive but t h e guitar d r i v e s the s o n g o n . Lilys - A nanny in
Strangelove - Another night in Strangelove,
strangeboys,
Primal Scream - If They Move Kill 'Em
delivering a
catchy
This is a g r o o v e l a d e n track, w i t h an
bass h e a v y u n d e r - c u r r e n t . It is o n e of the n u m -
i n g lyrics a b o u t h a v i n g 'another night i n ' . It's O K .
ber of t o p class tracks off their m o s t recent l o n g
Save Ferris - World is
r e l e a s e d for a w e e k , s o g i v e it a listen, it's w o r t h
player,
Manhatten
This is the n e w Levis t h e m e
w h i c h lacks
the
excellent
y e t a n n o y i n g t u n e s i n g i n g s o m e really interest-
new some
Vanishing
Point.
c o l o u r a n d energy s e e n in t h e a d . It's a bit t o o
H o w c a n 1 s u m u p this t u n e . It c o n t a i n s
phunky for m e !
really c o r n y c r a p t r u m p e t w o r k but g e t s a bit
ÈÉÊËÈÌÍÎ Ç
better w h e n it s t o p s . This n e w b a n d have h a d
jesus A n d M a r y Chain.
Dandywarhols - Every day should be a holiday
l i m i t e d s u c c e s s in the U . S . a n d I c a n ' t see w h y ?
H e a r d t h e s e guys o n t h e r a d i o a f e w t i m e s a n d
Lets h o p e t h e y d o better here, y e a h m a t e !
only g o i n g to
be
it just t o c a t c h a listen of t h e ' S c r e a m ' s c o v e r of by t h o s e a n c i e n t i n d i e m a e s t r o s ,
The
88-92-96
Six By Seven -
they s e e m t o be g e t t i n g O K r e v i e w s . But t o m e
It's
U n f o r t u n a t e l y this
is d e p r e s s i n g
and
boring,
it s o u n d s like an e x p r e s s train g o i n g n o w h e r e
Mellowbac - Illusion
fast.
This is a slick m e l l o w t u n e f r o m a rap g r o u p
e x c e p t i o n of e x t r e m e l y w h i n y v o c a l s . A p p a r e n t l y
b a s e d in G e r m a n y . It c o n s i s t s of t w o laid back
this b a n d has b e e n t o u t e d as o n e of the break-
rappers
Simon Warner - The wrong girl U m m , the
s o n g starts off w e l l but t h e n
respectability
of it d e c l i n e s
steeply
s p i n n i n ' their w e b
m u c h in t h e similar v e i n as P o r t i s h e a d , w i t h the
of w i c k e d w o r d s
the
b a c k e d u p by s o m e s m o o t h f e m a l e v o c a l s . It
he
c o n t a i n s s o m e French rap v e r s e s s o u n d i n g s i m -
when
ers for ' 9 8 ,
all 1 c a n say is d o n ' t believe
the
hype.
ilar t o A l l i a n c e Ethnik w i t h their g r o o v y s o u n d s .
starts s i n g i n g . Better leave this o n e a l o n e !
Interesting t o see h o w t h e y d o in '98, they def-
E
2
initely g o t the skillz! Cornershop - Brimful Of Asha E
Deni Hines -
1
Hinda Hicks - If you
want
Delicious
If y o u ' v e b e e n l i s t e n i n g t o the rad io recently y o u
R a d i o edit has a p h u n k y laid back flavour w i t h
me
g r o o v y p i a n o a n d guitar b a c k i n ' it u p .
are b o u n d t o have h e a r d this beautiful slice of
This is H i n d a H i c k ' s d e b u t single of ' 9 8 a n d is d a
some
licks. She delivers a p h u n k y f l a v o u r e d track w i t h
There is also a C - S w i n g r e m i x featuring D o n - E
C o r n e r s h o p . This is a n o d e t o f a m o u s
the s a m p l e Too Hot f r o m K o o l a n d t h e G a n g .
w h i c h d o e s n o t h i n g for the track a n d also a n
singers (Asha a n d others) a n d m u c h l o v e d vinyl
She is g o i n g t o blast o n t o t h e R ' n B s c e n e w i t h
upbeat C o l d m i x w h i c h h o u s e s u p the track for
4 5 s . It is essential t o investigate the r e m i x e s o n
this t u n e . Lets h o p e she m a k e s it b i g in ' 9 8 , s h e
the worst.
the rest of the single, t h e y ' r e o n another level
definitely g o t the f e a t u r e s - n o d o u b t ! !
pop
by
the
previously
(nearly)
unheard
of
Hindi
f r o m the original single e d i t . Finley Quaye - Your love gets sweeter
Shelter - Whole wide world
This is a m o r e u p t e m p o track f r o m Finley w h o
This is a n A m e r i c a n alternative i n d i e g r o u p w i t h
sings a b o u t t h e joys of a w o m a n ! It is not quite
Pitchshifter - Genius
some
as g o o d as w h a t he has c o m e o u t w i t h b e f o r e
This is d e s c r i b e d as a f u s i o n of m e t a l a n d t e c h -
Hindu
influences,
Hare
Krishna!
Song
s o u n d s better as y o u listen t o it. Stereophonies - Local boy in the photograph Quite a g o o d kickin' tune from the 'Phonics with s o m e blasting d r u m b e a t s . S e e m s like this is g o i n g t o be a p o p u l a r o n e . Addict - Red
Bird
but it is still a c a t c h y little t u n e a n d sure of s u c -
n o , a l t h o u g h it is m o r e similar t o a
cess.
attempt
at
trying to gain
some
pathetic
commercial
g r o u n d by i n t r o d u c i n g a d a n c e y beat t o Chantal Kreviazuk - God made
me
some
poor metal R A W W K .
She is a 2 3 year o l d C a n a d i a n pianist, singer, s o n g w r i t e r w i t h an Allanis M o r r i s e t t e flavour but
Crandaddy - Everything Beautiful Is Far Away
still quite individualistic. She has a soft y e t p o w -
L o - f i - n e s s at its w o r s t , it is b l a n d , a n d uninter-
erful v o i c e a n d m o s t of her tracks are
e s t i n g . It is a d v i s a b l e t o a v o i d this r e c o r d w i t h a
heartfelt
This is a s l o w t e m p o i n d i e track w h i c h w e ' v e all
a n d m o v i n g ! O n e t o w a t c h o u t for. O h h h h ,
heard before. It g r o w s o n y o u after a f e w listens
Chantal!
passion.
Jason Nim
but still is a little d o w n b e a t .
A
Yeah, Friday
Yeah
it's
that
time
again
Felix,
its must be the Tha B o m b . Sit back
relax and just read
you know where it's
at!
Coming up you got all the usual shit.... news, singles, you know all that, but y'all also got some extra stuff and its all free of charge. Now for some news, the o o o o h s and the aaaaahs of the RnB world. I heard this story from one of my boys on Saturday, I don't know whether its true, but who cares about the truth; Lil Kim and Foxy Brown are both touring with the Puff Daddy crew over stateside and if my boy is right they got a little pissed off with each other and it all ended in nails at 10 paces (every badboy's perfect night, two badgirls fighting it out in the mud...oooooh). O h and by the way for those who bought tickets for the Puffy gig in January it seems that the Puff Daddy was too ill to come over here, but good enough to go over to the other coast and see Michael Jackson last month. Rumours of a Jacko-Puffy collaboration started late last year, well they may not just be rumours anymore. Jacko's kid sis-
ter has added an extra date to her tour in June...my question is why?, the last a l b um was so fucked up I can't imagine anyone going to see the tour, only reason I can think to go is if she plays loads of old tunes. O n the album front the wicked Jay-Z a l b u m , In My Lifetime Vol. I, has just been rereleased, the record company probably looking to generate more sales on the interest created by Wishing On A Star, you know this is gonna be a huge crossover hit...the British public love the old remade classics. Just switching to a Drum'n'Bass groove for a second, the new Goldie album is at long last gonna get a release, titled Saturnz Return, this double a l b um includes the dope tune Digital with KRS1. The Ride, a film that will probably never make it to our big screens has a soundtrack that's already out and is in the process of blowing up on the underground. I've only heard a couple of the tracks but I've got to say they were phatness itself and if the rest of the album lives up to the hype surrounding it then we got some major shit on
our
hands. The
tune and
The
Weekend is a wicked party
Worst from Onyx and The Wu
blows your mine....I don't wanna say anymore cause u got a review coming up next week. To finish off I gotta mention a little story I heard
last
week
apparently while
a
friend of mine was now in IC radio he heard somebody saying that while 1 start off writing like some sort of rudeboy my writing style slowly gets more and more normal towards the end. Now I read thru' last weeks column and look at that
it's probably true, but
that doesn't worry me. ..u worry me for reading
my
column
and
analysing the
fucking
thing. This little story encases all the shit that goes with Imperial rather than props for
the
writing the fucking thing 1 get shit because my style isn't consistent. Shoutouts to
the C h e m . Eng. home girls,
you know who you are! I'm
out. Milen
13 February 1 9 9 8
MUSIC
19
S
Strangelove - Another night in
The Hybirds - See me through
Alright t u n e , s o u n d i n g a bit repetitive b u t t h e Strangelove, guitar drives the s o n g o n . Lilys - A nanny in
strangeboys,
delivering a
Primal Scream - If They Move Kill 'Em catchy
This is a g r o o v e
11
an«^l
excellent bass h e a v y u n d e r - c u r r e n t . It is
i n g lyrics a b o u t h a v i n g 'another night i n ' . It's O K .
o n e o f the n u m b e r o f t o p class tracks o f f their
Save Ferris - World is new
o n l y g o i n g t o b e r e l e a s e d for a w e e k , s o give it
recent l o n g player, Vanishing
most w h i c h lacks t h e
with
y e t a n n o y i n g tune s i n g i n g s o m e really interest-
Manhatten
This is t h e n e w Levis t h e m e
l a d e n track,
some
Point. It's
colour a n d energy s e e n in t h e a d . It's a bit t o o
H o w c a n 1 s u m u p this t u n e . It c o n t a i n s
phunky for m e !
really c o r n y c r a p t r u m p e t w o r k b u t gets a bit
' S c r e a m ' s c o v e r o f ÏÐ
better w h e n it s t o p s . This n e w b a n d have h a d
i n d i e m a e s t r o s , T he j e s u s A n d M a r y C h a i n .
a listen, it's w o r t h it just t o c a t c h a listen o f the
ÑÒÓ ÔÕÖ Ð
b y t h o s e ancient
Dandywarhols - Every day should be a holiday
l i m i t e d s u c c e s s in the U . S . a n d 1 c a n ' t s e e w h y ?
Heard these guys o n the radio a few times and
Lets h o p e they d o better here, y e a h m a t e !
Six By Seven - 88-92-96
it s o u n d s like a n e x p r e s s train g o i n g n o w h e r e
Mellowbac - Illusion
m u c h in the similar v e i n as P o r t i s h e a d , with t h e
fast.
This is a slick m e l l o w t u n e f r o m a rap g r o u p
e x c e p t i o n of e x t r e m e l y w h i n y v o c a l s . A p p a r e n t l y
b a s e d in G e r m a n y . It c o n s i s t s o f t w o laid back
this b a n d has b e e n t o u t e d a s o n e o f the break-
s p i n n i n ' their w e b o f w i c k e d w o r d s
ers f o r ' 9 8 , all 1 c a n s a y is d o n ' t believe t h e
they s e e m t o b e g e t t i n g O K r e v i e w s . But t o m e
U n f o r t u n a t e l y this
Simon Warner - The wrong girl
rappers
U m m , t h e s o n g starts o f f w e l l b u t t h e n t h e
b a c k e d u p by s o m e s m o o t h f e m a l e v o c a l s . It
respectability
c o n t a i n s s o m e French rap verses s o u n d i n g s i m -
o f it d e c l i n e s
steeply w h e n he
is d e p r e s s i n g
a n d boring,
hype.
ilar t o A l l i a n c e Ethnik w i t h their g r o o v y s o u n d s .
starts s i n g i n g . Better leave this o n e a l o n e !
Interesting t o s e e h o w they d o in '98, they def-
E
initely g o t the skillz! Cornershop - Brimful Of Asha E
1
Hinda Hicks - If you
Deni Hines -
Delicious
If y o u ' v e b e e n l i s t e n i n g t o t h e r a d i o recently y o u
R a d i o edit h a s a p h u n k y laid back flavour w i t h
want me
are b o u n d t o have h e a r d this beautiful slice o f
This is H i n d a H i c k ' s d e b u t single o f ' 9 8 a n d is d a
some
licks. She delivers a p h u n k y f l a v o u r e d track w i t h
There is also a C - S w i n g remix featuring D o n - E
g r o o v y p i a n o a n d guitar b a c k i n ' it u p . p o p
C o r n e r s h o p . This is a n o d e t o f a m o u s
the s a m p l e Too Hot f r o m K o o l a n d t h e G a n g .
w h i c h d o e s n o t h i n g for t h e track a n d also a n
singers ( A s h a a n d others) a n d m u c h l o v e d vinyl
by t h e previously
(nearly)
unheard of Hindi
She is g o i n g t o blast o n t o t h e R ' n B s c e n e w i t h
u p b e a t C o l d m i x w h i c h h o u s e s up the track for
4 5 s . It is e s s e n t i a l t o investigate the r e m i x e s o n
this tune. Lets h o p e she m a k e s it b i g in ' 9 8 , s h e
the w o r s t .
t h e rest o f t h e single, t h e y ' r e o n a n o t h e r level
definitely g o t t h e f e a t u r e s - n o
doubt!!
f r o m the original single e d i t . Finley Quaye - Your love gets sweeter
Shelter - Whole wide world
This is a m o r e u p t e m p o track f r o m Finley w h o
This is an A m e r i c a n alternative indie g r o u p w i t h
sings a b o u t the joys o f a w o m a n ! It is not quite
Pitchshifter - Genius
some
as g o o d as w h a t he has c o m e o u t w i t h before
This is d e s c r i b e d a s a f u s i o n o f m e t a l a n d t e c h -
Hindu
influences,
Hare
Krishna!
Song
s o u n d s better a s y o u listen t o it. Stereophonies - Local boy in the
but it is still a c a t c h y little tune a n d sure o f suc-
n o , a l t h o u g h it is m o r e similar t o a pathetic
cess.
attempt
photograph
Quite a g o o d kickin' tune f r o m the 'Phonics with s o m e blasting d r u m b e a t s . S e e m s like this is going t o be a popular one.
some
commercial
Chantal Kreviazuk - Cod made me
poor metal R A W W K .
She is a 2 3 y e a r o l d C a n a d i a n pianist, singer, s o n g w r i t e r w i t h an Allanis M o r r i s e t t e flavour but
Grandaddy - Everything Beautiful Is far Away
still q u i t e individualistic. She has a soft yet p o w -
L o - f i - n e s s at its w o r s t , it is b l a n d , a n d uninteres ting. It is a d v i s a b l e t o a v o i d this r e c o r d w i t h a passion.
Addict - Red Bird
erful v o i c e a n d m o s t o f her tracks are heartfelt
This is a s l o w t e m p o i n d i e track w h i c h w e ' v e all
and moving! O n e to watch out for. Ohhhh,
heard before. It g r o w s o n y o u after a f e w listens
Chantal!
but still is a little d o w n b e a t .
at t r y i n g t o g a i n
g r o u n d b y i n t r o d u c i n g a d a n c e y beat t o s o m e
Jason Mm
A
Yeah, Friday
Yeah
it's that
time
again
Felix,
its must be the Tha B o m b . Sit back
relax and just read
you know where it's at!
Coming up you got all the usual shit.... news, singles, you know all that, but y'all also got some extra stuff and its all free of charge. Now for some news, the o o o o h s and the aaaaahs of the RnB world. 1 heard this story from one of my boys o n Saturday, I don't know whether its true, but who cares about the truth; Lil Kim a n d Foxy Brown are both touring with the Puff Daddy crew over stateside a n d if my boy is right they got a little pissed off with each other and it all ended in nails at 10 paces (every badboy's perfect night, two badgirls fighting it out in the mud...oooooh). O h a n d by the way for those who bought tickets for the Puffy gig in January it seems that the Puff Daddy was too ill to come over here, but good enough to go over to the other coast a n d see Michael Jackson last month. Rumours of a Jacko-Puffy collaboration started late last year, well they may not just be rumours anymore. Jacko's kid sis-
ter has added an extra date to her tour in June...my question is why?, the last album was so fucked u p I can't imagine anyone going to see the tour, only reason 1 can think to go is if she plays loads of old tunes.
our
O n the album front the wicked Jay-Z album, In My Lifetime Vol. I, has just been rereleased, the record company probably looking to generate more sales o n the interest created by Wishing On A Star, you know this is gonna be a huge crossover hit...the British public love the o l d remade classics. Just switching to a Drum'n'Bass groove for a second, the new Goldie album is at long last gonna get a release, titled Saturnz Return, this double album includes the dope tune Digital with KRS1. The Ride, a film that will probably never make it to our big screens has a soundtrack that's already out and is in the process of blowing up on the underground. I've only heard a couple of the tracks but I've got to say they were phatness itself and if the rest of the album lives up to the hype surrounding it then we got some major shit on
1 heard
hands. The Weekend is a wicked party
tune a n d The Worst from Onyx and The Wu blows your mine....I don't wanna say anymore cause u got a review coming up next week. To finish off 1 gotta mention a little story last
week
apparently while
a
friend of mine w a s now in IC radio he heard somebody saying that while 1 start off writing like some sort of rudeboy my writing style slowly gets more and more normal towards the end. Now I read thru' last weeks column and look at that
it's probably true, but
that doesn't worry me...u worry me for reading
my column
a n d analysing the fucking
thing. This little story encases all the shit that goes with Imperial rather than props for the writing the fucking thing I get shit because my style isn't consistent. Shoutouts to the C h e m . Eng. home girls, you know who you are! I'm out. CT Milen
13 February 1 9 9 7
MUSIC
20 E
l/C < I 'â&#x20AC;˘ these artists are
releasing material
today,
and all share a c o m m o n vision and philosophy.
create their own music. Tonight (13/02/97) will see a rare appearance
So what is this vision? In an interview Ingmar once
said, "I don't want to
make
music for people when they're washing dish-
by Air Liquide and
the
rest
of
the
Cologne collective in London at the 333 Club in O l d Street (333
O l d Street, London EC1)
from "10 till d e a t h " as the publicity points
es or cleaning their appartments. It's boring,
out! 1 counted over ten named artists plus
I hate this kind of thing. Music should touch
guests, so there will be something for every-
your heart, your fears, not make one sound
one on two floors of teeming action. Look out
for half an hour."
in particular for live sets by Air Liquide, The
To say Air Liquide's music is dark would be
an
understatement.
Whether
they
are
Bionaut, Khan and Frank Heiss. O n the decks you can enjoy the talents of Freddie Fresh,
pumping out full-on techno, indulging in elec-
Strobocop, Kron and T h o m a s Thorn. This all
tro, serving up rich, textured soudscapes of
comes highly recommended from the Electric
ambience or taking their new departure
Cafe.
of
breakbeats, you get the feeling they are right
I leave you with the words of a journalist
on the edge of their abilities. If something has
who said,
been done and put on the m a p of techno,
titled Don't Fuck With Cologne.
" A recent single was charmingly
then you should understand that it is no
let Cologne fuck with y o u . "
Far better to
longer of any interest to them. I first listened to Air Liquide about three years ago Increased
when
I bought the
Difficulty
album
The
of Concentration.
That
experience still lives with me today. In an age 7s this close enough to the camera for you?' - Dr. walker Electric
Air Liquide - Twice Zero is Zero
when music had to be "uplifting", the sound they created was fresh. Air Liquide have a vast
back-catalogue,
scattered
amongst
a
variety of labels. Check out Rising High, Sm:)e Welcome to another edition of the
"There is no law except the law that there is no law"
NYC,
Blue, Djungle Fever, Blue Planet
Harvest. Albums such as Nephology (The New
who entered the Reactivate Classics competi-
Religion),
tion from last week. The response from the
Concentration,
Felix readers was so good, that I have ordered
have
extra C D s from the record label! A s I am writ-
history.
been
Increased Radiowaves
Difficulty and Air
pivotal moments
in
Hassan-I-Sabbath, The O l d M a n O f The Mountains
and
Cafe! First of all, many thanks to all of you
The
"Nothing is true; everything is permitted"
of
(Excerpts from this
article
were
Liquide
electronic
Here are the times for the Electric Cafe this week:
ing this c o l u m n , I still don't know who won. I
O n c e in the studio, Air Liquide follow no
will have to wait until the response from the
set rules or formulae. Their greatness comes
Sunday night: midnight till 2am
radio show (that went out on Sunday and
from their unpredictability. You can't really
Tuesday night: 10pm till 11pm
Tuesday this week) comes back.
talk about pushing back boundaries when the
For all of you who entered by email, I a m
boundaries don't exist in someone's appear
the
head!
Both shows are o n IC Radio (The Student
greatest
Radio Network). A s usual, we'll be covering
Indeed,
you will know what special features and c o m -
experimental artists of the electronic
petitions are coming up on the radio show
are the ones who don't think or create within
and the Felix c o l u m n . I will also tell you about
set limits. Quite fitting for a form of music
club nights in London, if I think something
that is inventing itself from totally new types
unusual or special is happening. It will be an
of instruments and composition tools.
informal thing, decided by how often 1 can get
it does
that
thinking of starting up a mailing list so that
to a computer to write it! If y o u would like to
genre
Air Liquide was born of the school of hard knocks that was
responsible for
Ingmar's
be included on such a list, then please drop
education. A n electronics
me a message (a.sethi@ic.ac.uk) with your
teenage years,
return address.
sounds that he had invented were stolen by a
a
load of
whizz from new
his
electronic
This week 1 want to tell you about a group
synthesizer company at the age of sixteen.
of artists that have been making music out of
After that he produced a string of succesful
Cologne in Germany for a number of years.
commercial hits for a Frankfurt house label.
Many at Imperial will know Air Liquide as a
Three and a half million copies were sold, but
French chemicals company. Only a few will
the company went bust before he could see a
recognise the name as one of the most avant-
single penny of his cut.
garde German techno groups. But for those in
From that moment,
Ingmar
decided
to
dance
make only the music that he really liked. The
scene, Air Liquide have been consistently pro-
result is a new independent electronic music
the
know a b o u t
the
underground
ducing challenging, yet highly addictive music
scene for Cologne, some of the most respect-
for a number of years now.
ed and admired music and artists of today, a
Three people make
up Air Liquide; Dr
multitude of labels and the highly succesful
(Cem
Liquid Sky parties. Yes! Liquid Sky was one of
Oral) and singer Mary Applegate (who comes
the few club nights that I had a real longing to
from a pop background, having written the
visit. It was here that Air Liquide perfected
lyrics to Jennifer Rush's hit single The Power
their spellbinding live performances and DJ
Of Love'.). They have also built up a network
sets in front of a local crowd, and also dis-
Walker (Ingmar Koch), )ammin' Unit
Cologne artists, including Khan
covered and nurtured new artists and DJs,
(Cem's brother), Mike Inc and Jorg Burger. All
giving them the confidence and freedom to
with other
taken
from Trance Europe Express 3)
the best in new and classic cutting-edge electronic music. @l;Šk fammin'
Unit gets some light in his eyes.
M o n A
WINâ&#x201A;Ź O f N[us\c of your choice IC Radio is running a competition in which you could win ÂŁ50 of music. All you have to do is design a new logo for the station. The winning entry will be used in a new range of merchandise, as well as for liaison with record companies. The logo must be original, contain the words 'IC Radio 999AM', and can be in colour, although it must be clearly reproducible in black and white. I t must also portray the station as being eclectic, professional and dynamic. s o e . n
Closing Date for Entrants: 6th March 1998
22
I
13 February 1 9 9 8
FILM
IN & OUT
b e y o n d h o l d i n g h a n d s in front o f
Starring: Kevin Kline, |oan C u s a c k , M a t t D i l l o n , T o m Selleck
the TV. It's n o t o n l y his friends a n d
Director: Frank O z
family w h o a r e s t u d y i n g his every move,
as
n &. Out is a c o m e d y i n s p i r e d by
media
descend
T o m H a n k s ' ×ØÙ
s e a r c h o f a story. A m o n g t h e m is
ÚÛÜÝÚÞ Û ØÙ
Oscar
Peter
a c c e p t a n c e s p e e c h , in w h i c h h e
accidentally
outed
America's
low brow
o n Greenleaf
Malloy
homosexual
his g a y high
G O O D BURGER
(Selleck) journalist
s c h o o l t e a c h e r . In t h e b i g s c r e e n
attempts to befriend
v e r s i o n o f e v e n t s , it is M a t t D i l l o n
the s a k e o f a n i n t e r v i e w .
in a
who
ICei Mitchell D i r e c t o r : B r i a n Robbins i
î ï íí
H o w a r d for
Burge-
V
last f o o d
suddenly
V
asaiH5;;
joint
comes
up
• •
who
, .,, i
as C a m e r o n D r a k e w h o s e m e s s a g e
W e are u s e d t o s e e i n g Kevin Kline
of g r a t i t u d e calls into q u e s t i o n t h e
in s o m e w h a t u n h i n g e d roles, s o it
the 'bigger' burger, it is left t o t w o
sexuality o f his o l d t e a c h e r H o w a r d
is a relief that h e d o e s n ' t
. i i < i , high s c h o o l kafe t o save
Brackett,
Kline.
his character's c a m p l e a n i n g s . It is
H o w a r d is a b o u t t o
difficult t o fault his p e r f o r m a n c e as
marry Emily (Cusack), his f i a n c e e o f
a m a n desperately trying to 'bloke'
s o m e three y e a r s , that v e r y w e e k .
up
played
What's more,
by Kevin
his prissy i m a g e .
overplay
T h e film is
i, a n d
.
I
,
oilier with
•
,
s e r v e d w e l l by its s u p p o r t i n g c a s t ,
{the
particularly t h e f e m a l e
employee
and,
characters.
Joan C u s a c k is v e r y g o o d a s t h e
p a t i e n t s to
d e v o t e d Emily, w h o s e self e s t e e m
secret w e a p o n
laughs,
is d e n t e d further by r e c e n t d e v e l -
s o n i .-'. <w . .
we
Greenleaf,
are
that
transported
to
opments.
Indiana t o w i t n e s s t h e
H o w e v e r , t h e film is s o
desperate
ing m a r r i a g e . T h e r e s i d e n t s o f t h e
b o u n d s o f p o l i t i c a l c o r r e c t n e s s that
s m a l l t o w n in A m e r i c a ' s
heartland
most of the reactions t o the o u t e d
"1"
are initially s c e p t i c a l , but t h e s e e d s
H o w a r d are fairly p r e d i c t i b l e a n d
•
of
doubt
within
the
safe. In &. Out is w e l l e x e c u t e d t o a
.
*>
food
asylum
a revs), p l u s their £d b s a u c e , they :
:,. ' his film ' -
b a s e d o n a s m a l l s k e t c h w h i c h Kei •
The Might}/ Ducks) a s t h e • * Ed
- Dexter, p e r f o r m
d o u b t that her h u s b a n d t o be is
Brackett a l w a y s d r e s s e s s o neatly,
h i d i n g n o t h i n g . T h e n a g a i n , it has
p o i n t , but a n y c h a r m it m a y have is
s h o w r a i l e d " A i l That". • H e n c e , y o u
and
been
overshadowed
v • k i n d of .guess w h a t is g o i n g t o
does
been
remain
-
mcv'-'ta'
sown. M r
he
have
to
1
people
I
effect o n H o w a r d a n d his i m p e n d -
i.i \. '
1
oklcs?
the
in n o d o u b t
above
.
' .-
and
s i t u a t i o n is t o be p l a y e d s o l e l y f o r
left
<
j
world,s
.
a 'ilirrhtly' 1
. i >' o f heir?
itself f r o m H o l l y w o o d 'issue' films
In &. Out a c t i v e l y tries t o d i s t a n c e
vii i
the
adore
Barbara
an
unusually
long
S t r e i s a n d . A n d s o d o all g a y m e n , e n g a g e m e n t , a n d y e t their p h y s i c a l don't they? O f c o u r s e , Emily is in n o r e l a t i o n s h i p hasn't p r o g r e s s e d far M
M
a p p a l l i n g finale.
by
the
D
Simon
truly
ã ßàáâ äå
M
Win More
Tickets from
o n N i c k e l o d e o n ' s hit k i d ' s variety
happen. WS with
>ti
them
to great
i .
i
ð Ii.,
jokes b o u n c i n g off sffecf,
i
it is the ' I• . ,
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u
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|.
KENSINGTON
.
• ; C
h o w e v e r , is a n u n m i s s a b l e '
N
t.
1
-i
ñ
,
I
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I
.
IIV
, :
scene
tin >Q|
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••• ' •
Song's
p l a y i n g over t h e
t o p fuse your i m a g i n a t i o n guys!) If y o u still h a v e n ' t s e e n t h e biggest film o f t h e y e a r (or
Last w e e k w e w a n t e d t o k n o w w h i c h c o n t r o v e r s i a l
It!
if y o u w a n t t o s e e it y e t again) t h e n this is t h e p e r f e c t
film a b o u t slavery stars M o r g a n F r e e m a n . T h e a n s w e r
that •
èéêëì
o p p o r t u n i t y t o d o s o for a b s o l u t e l y n o t h i n g . O u r last
is æ ç
competition
will s o o n b e r e v i e w e d in Felix.
was
so
popular
that
the
Odeon
w h i c h is d u e for release o n 2 7 February a n d
tickets
to see the film.
These
c a n be yours
.'i
os This film are actu-
ally q u i t e funny (in a w e i r d s e n s e ) . This is ,
K e n s i n g t o n h a s d e c i d e d t o offer a n o t h e r five pairs o f
' 1
thanks t o i •,•>,.. * very
strangt; l o o k o n life • p l u s the fact
by
The five p r i z e w i n n e r s are:
that he is d a m n righi s t u p i d .
* h, >
a n s w e r i n g t h e f o l l o w i n g e a s y q u e s t i o n . A n s w e r s as
Guy Bennett
one or t w o p i n t s y o u are b o u n d to
usual by e - m a i l t o f e l i x @ i c . a c . u k
W a q a s Ashraf
• "
please:
Beng O o i
Approximately how many seats are there in Screen 1 of the O d e o n Kensington?
V .his
CS
Rk'f'ionl '••,-:.,
i,ir
S i m o n Edgley E m m a n u e l Villalta
S
S
TWIN TOWN B i l l e d as t h e W e l s h perhaps?)
this
BEAN
Trainspotting,
is a tale
(Sheepspotting
of Swansea
life
centred
• •••
It's a n o f t e n r e p e a t e d fact that w h e t h e r or n o t y o u like | t h e film will d e p e n d o n h o w y o u feel a b o u t t h e TV
a r o u n d s e x a n d d o p e . T h e unlikely h e r o e s a r e t h e
series. A s s u m i n g y o u are a f a n o f t h e e n d e a r i n g idiot
Lewis twins, w h o spend
cars,
t h e n , is this v i d e o w o r t h t w o p o u n d s o f y o u r m o n e y ?
their
lives s t e a l i n g
d i s c u s s i n g f o o t b a l l a n d e x a c t i n g revenge o n a n y b o d y
| T h e a n s w e r is a r e s o u n d i n g y e s . A l t h o u g h there m a y
w h o c r o s s e s their d a d a n d m a . a m ma mm n m »rm* n mxsssa mw Twin T o w n c o m b i n e s an accurate impression of
not b e m a n y classic B e a n m o m e n t s , there is p l e n t y o f
life in a bleak W e l s h t o w n w i t h w i c k e d black h u m o u r .
e v e n s o m e t h i n g a p p r o a c h i n g a s to r yl i n e w h i c h sees
c h a r a c t e r d e v e l o p m e n t here t o c o m p e n s a t e .
There is
A w h o l e s p e c t r u m o f s t e r e o t y p e s is p r e s e n t , f r o m t h e bent local c o p p e r
B e a n sent S t a t e s i d e w h e r e he is m i s t a k e n for a n e c c e n t r i c y e t brilliant art
t o t h e d e l u d e d t e e n a g e r s l e e p i n g a r o u n d t o e a r n e n o u g h t o e s c a p e her
critic. T h e inevitable h a v o c w h i c h f o l l o w s p r o v i d e s p l e n t y o f laughs but
life. A l t h o u g h t h e v i c e s o f every c h a r a c t e r m a y p u t s o m e v i e w e r s off,
not as m a n y as B e a n ' s efforts t o rectify t h e p r o b l e m s by g o i n g o n a B o n d -
o t h e r s will find, t h e v i c i o u s h u m o u r a n d p o l i t i c a l l y i n c o r r e c t attitud e t o life
style m i s s i o n . A l l in all, this is m o r e t h a n e n o u g h t o p r o v i d e a n enjoyable
a n d d r u g s right u p their s t r e e t .
night in for B e a n fans. D
Q
3 February
1998
23
ARTS
ò
EASY ACCESS (FOR THE BOYS) Claire Dowie
T
w h i c h is g o i n g o n .
his is the n e w p l a y by Claire
g o e s through the w h o l e s p e c t r u m of
h o m e t o find that he has t a k e n o n
D o w i e - h a i l e d by s o m e
reactions,
through
live-in help for the bar w h i c h he
the
anger t o w a r d his father, t o the reali-
runs, in the f o r m of Ruth w h o n o w
"angry y o u n g m e n " of m o d e r n t h e -
sation that his father's a b u s e of h i m
lives upstairs w i t h her y o u n g s o n
play is d r a m a t i c a l l y a l t e r e d , a n d it
atre- in w h i c h she e x p l o r e s t h e d e l -
h a d s o m e h o w m a d e h i m feel s p e -
Jake.
M i c h a e l is i m m e d i a t e l y w o r -
s e e m s t o m e that Claire D o w i e has
cial a n d l o v e d - exactly the o p p o s i t e
ried, s o o n b e c o m i n g terrified that
w r i t t e n t h e p l a y a l m o s t solely w i t h
of w h a t o n e w o u l d expect.
his father is n o w a b u s i n g Jake, s o
the i n t e n t i o n of c r e a t i n g the situa-
that he m a k e s every effort t o per-
tion
occur, with the
the
female
icate issue abuse.
answer
to
of c h i l d h o o d
The
central
as
sexual character
from
denial,
After
seeing
the
climax,
v i e w e r ' s i m p r e s s i o n of the
the
entire
in w h i c h s u c h a c l i m a x c a n
M i c h a e l is a p r o s t i t u t e w h o believes
T h r o u g h o u t the early part of the
that he w a s a b u s e d by his father as
play M i c h a e l ' s father Ed h o v e r s in
suade
a small c h i l d , a n d t h e play charts
the b a c k g r o u n d , his c o n s t a n t
c h o o s e s this t i m e t o d i s c u s s w i t h
s c e n e s a p p e a r l a m e or irrelevant.
his c h a n g i n g attitudes
pres-
Ruth t o leave.
H i s father
result that
many
t o w a r d his
e n c e s y m b o l i c of the far r e a c h i n g
h i m the events of the past, p l a y i n g
The cast rise a b o v e this t o
father a n d his a c t i o n s .
A t first
effect he has h a d o n M i c h a e l ' s life.
on M i c h a e l ' s resentment
extent, in particular M a l c o l m James
Michael
father's
Whenever
denies
that
his
Michael
and
physically
Matt
close,
Ed
towards
some
his m o t h e r , w h o left w h e n he w a s
in the p o r t r a y a l of the relationship
six years o l d , a n d s a y i n g that
between
he
Matt and Michael,
and
treatment of h i m w a s a b u s e at all,
become
insisting that he still has a g o o d
a p p e a r s b e h i n d t h e m a n d begins t o
never really d i d a n y t h i n g , n o t h i n g
Peter M a r i n k e r , w h o c a p t u r e d well
relationship w i t h his father.
the
in E d ;
significant, a n d that
i n g that t h e y are i n v o l v e d i n . This is
pened once,
After this
although
I was
making a v i d e o diary c o n t a i n i n g all
very o b v i o u s l y i n t e n d e d o n l y as a
M i c h a e l really begins t o d o u b t the
Natasha
Langridge's
the m o s t intimate details of his life.
m e t a p h o r , but n o n e t h e l e s s a surre-
a c c u r a c y of his o w n m e m o r i e s , half
stilted p e r f o r m a n c e .
H e s p e n d s a large a m o u n t o f t i m e
al
believing his father's p l a t i t u d e s , but
fact that neither t h e p o t e n t i a l of the
speaking out front t o the
d e v i c e of the j u x t a p o s i t i o n of dif-
is also
writing,
the
play,
Michael
camera,
effect.
also
uses
s c e n e s , s o that t h e
ferent
with the r e c o r d i n g being s i m u l t a n e -
Dowie
the
action
it only h a p -
m i l d m e n a c e inherent
act o u t t h e s a m e kissing a n d t o u c h is
During
after all.
hurt
at
the
idea
father's h a v i n g f o u n d a
of
his
substitute
nor
unimpressed
that
Despite
of
by
somewhat
the
the
several
clever d e v i c e s u s e d , is fulfilled, the
between
separate
for h i m , in Jake. The p l o t c o m e s t o
play s u c c e e d s in raising m a n y inter-
between
Michael
a horrifying c l i m a x , a n d o n l y t h e n
esting questions,
life story, w e see his attitude t o w a r d
a n d o t h e r s , a n d c h a r a c t e r s c a n be
d o e s the full intricacy of t h e subject
the a c c e p t e d v i e w of w h a t c o n s t i -
his father gradually c h a n g i n g u n d er
passively
matter b e c o m e a p p a r e n t , s h o w i n g
tutes s e x u a l a b u s e .
ously
projected
screen o n
the
onto
stage.
influences
a
best
of the
Gary a n d boyfriend M a t t .
fluidly
moves
gigantic
conversations
A s he relates his
present
without
being
that w e c a n never be
directly i n v o l v e d .
friend
M i c h a e l returns t o his
Michael
father's
and
completely
Details
a w a r e of the nature of the a b u s e
challenging
Abi õö÷ on óô pages
ALBERT HERRING
HOT MIKADO
Benjamin Britten
CXWMS Light Opera Society
Y
o u ' r e in L o n d o n , arguably t h e cultural
the h o n o u r is t o be g i v e n t o Albert H e r r i n g - a
c a p i t a l of the w o r l d a n d y o u think that,
rather s i m p l e c h a p w h o w o r k s for his m o t h e r
maybe
at the g r o c e r ' s s h o p .
sometime
like to see a n o p e r a .
which is f a m o u s
y o u might
possibly
But y o u ' r e in L o n d o n
for it's e x t o r t i o n a t e
ticket
prices a n d y o u c a n o n l y just a f f o r d a pint or ten d o w n the bar.
A n d then y o u
remember
cal joke w h e r e his l e m - o n a d e o u t of t h e stifling constraints society:
get s u c h a s t u p i d i d e a f r o m in t h e first p l a c e ?
o f - a g e story.
slightest of cultural t e n d e n c i e s ,
the
here's your
O p e r a for £ 3 a n d just a c r o s s the
chance.
road f r o m D a V i n c i ' s .
T he Britten Theatre
is
is l a c e d w i t h
r u m , p r o v i d e h i m w i t h the c o n d i t i o n s t o break
that y o u ' r e a scientist at IC, s o w h e r e d i d y o u For t h o s e of y o u w h o m i g h t have e v e n
U n f o r t - u n a t e l y for the
m o r a l majority, the priz e m o n e y a n d a p r a c t i -
of the village
this o p e r a is, in the e n d , a c o m i n g -
This c h a m b e r o n m a n y levels;
o p e r a c a n be
appreciated
Britten's c h a r a c t e r i s a t i o n
r e m i n i s c e n t of the M o z a r t c o m i c o p e r a s :
is the
v o c a l w r i t i n g for e a c h individual character per-
o n e of the best o p e r a v e n u e s in L o n d o n a n d
fectly portrays the particular neurosis a n d d i s -
even t h e c h e a p s e a t s are e x c e l l e n t .
p o s i t i o n of that p e r s o n .
Based
on
story,
Le
opera
is set
Guy de
Rosier
de
in the
Maupassant's
Madame fictional
short
m u s i c is full of m u s i c a l o u tbu r s t s a n d a r p e g -
the
g i a t e d figures w h i c h mirror her self-righteous
Husson,
Anglian
East
Thus, L a d y B i l l o w s '
m o r a l a n d p a t r o n i s i n g personality.
There are
H the
ot M i k a d o " is t h e
famous
operetta
by
Gilbert a n d Sullivan, g i v e n a '40s twist. The s o n g s a n d settings r e m a i n the s a m e , w i t h
only difference
b e i n g the
suits a n d
some
extremely poor A m e r i c a n accents. The story involves N a n k i - P o o , a w a n d e r i n g m i n strel, travelling t o Titipu in s e a r c h of Y u m - Y u m , his
coastal t o w n of L o x f o r d at the turn of the c e n -
s o m a n y other details w h i c h m a y g o u n n o -
lost l o v e .
tury. T h o s e of y o u w h o are familiar w i t h either
t i c e d o n o n e ' s first h e a r i n g but that
won't
her g u a r d i a n , the L o r d H i g h E x e c u t - i o n e r . After a lot
that area or w h o s i m p l y have a g e n e r a l i d e a of
s p o i l o n e ' s a p p r e c i a t i o n of it; u n d e r n e a t h the
of s i n g - i n g a n d d a n c i n g , t h e lovers are r e u n i t e d a n d
British s m a l l - t o w n m e n t a l i t y will be able
to
l i g h t - h e a r t e d exterior there lies quite a p r o -
live h a p p i l y ever after.
relate very easily t o t h e c h a r a c t e r s a n d set-
f o u n d m e s s a g e w i t h m u s i c of e q u a l d e p t h ,
ting.
confirming
Self-appointed
moral
guardian
of
L o x f o r d , L a d y B i l l o w s is d i s c u s s i n g c a n d i d a t e s for the t o w n ' s M a y Q u e e n w i t h a g r o u p of local r e p r e s e n ta ti v e s
(schoolmistress,
mayor, and policeman);
Britten
as
one
of
the
Stephen Details
on óô
The set w a s m i n i m a l , a n d in a vaguely Japanese style. The G e n t l e m e n of Japan l o o k e d like extras
Tarlton
õö÷
ladies w e r e all Susie W o n g in s k i m p y d r e s s e s .
page
s i n g i n g f r o m the c h o r u s . The leads p r o v e d c o n s i s tently
tion by L a d y B i l l o w s ' h o u s e k e e p e r
of enjoyable,
who's notebook
is at the r e a d y . Eventually
they have t o settle for a M a y K i n g i n s t e a d a n d
It
w a s all very c o l o u r f u l , w i t h a fairly m i x e d quality of
ability of all the c a n d i d a t e s is c a l l e d into q u e s Florence
to
f r o m " D i c k T r a c e y " in their r a i n b o w suits, w h i l s t the
o p e r a t i c c o m p o s e r s of this century.
vicar,
h o w e v e r , the suit-
greatest
O n his arrival, he finds her e n g a g e d
excellent.
The m u s i c a l p r o v i d e d an e v e n i n g
light e n t e r t a i n m e n t ,
w i t h s o m e very
funny m o m - e n t s . S h a m e y o u m i s s e d it, really.
A.
Griffin
13 February
C O M P S & PUZZLES
24
1998
PUZZLES
CONCISE CROSSWORD By
Matt
ACROSS
DOWN
1
C a p i t a l of G e r m a n y (6)
2
S t a n d for an artist's c a n v a s
5
Scratched
3
S o u t h e a s t A s i a n land (5)
9
S c r a p of f o o d (3)
4
(6)
12 A m e r i c a ! P e t r o l (3)
5
N e g a t i v e (2) Neuter third person
13 C a p t a i n of Bulgaria (5)
6
Barrel
7
Fairy (5)
8
E s k i m o h o u s e s (6)
14 Reverse of Progress
(7)
17 C a p i t a l of N o r w a y (4) 19 P r o n o u n c e incorrectly 20
C a p i t a l of S w e d e n
21
S o u t h e a s t (2)
(2)
(4)
10 D i s a p p r o v e (6)
(4)
(9)
11 C a p i t a l of S p a i n (6) 15 D e v e l o p m e n t (6)
23 A d v e r t i s e m e n t (2)
16 C l o s i n g o f a d e b a t e (9)
24 M a s s d e p a r t u r e
18 M o v e m e n t of water
(6)
28 N o r t h w e s t (2)
(7)
19 G r i n n i n g (7)
30 C o p y (9) 31 H a m e l i n h a d t h e m
(4)
32
C o g (4)
34
S w a l l o w g r e e d i l y (7)
20
L o n g , t h i n fish (3)
23
M r s Landers, American
C a p i t a l of f o r m e r
26 27
C z e c h o s l o v a k i a (5)
29
38
Earl G r e y e.g.
33
36
(3)
39
2001 's evil c o m p u t e r
41
D i a m o n d s h a p e d pattern
(3)
42
C a p i t a l of G r e e c e
C o l u m n i s t (3) S u d d e n (6) C h i n e s e t o w e r (6) C a p i t a l of P o l a n d (6) M r John, English singer (5)
34 S i m p l e (6)
35 37
(4)
Individual (4) O x y g e n , N i t r o g e n , et. a l . (3)
39 M a s c u l i n e third p e r s o n 40
Why
AND
(3)
L o s A n g e l e s (2)
£ 1 0 Video Token to be Won
t You
DO
(5)
First c o r r e c t entry d r a w n out of the b o x o n T u e s d a y m o r n i n g w i n s this great p r i z e . D r o p entries into Felix or s e n d t h e m in internal m a i l . Last w e e k ' s w i n n e r is Paul Speller of M a t h s 1. Y o u r p r i z e awaits. P r e v i o u s w i n n e r s : p r i z e s have n o w arrived - sorry for the delay. .
SOMETHING
Less Useful
ANSWERS TO 1
iTb
Across 4. Pure B r e d 8. T o p N o t c h 9. A d m o n i s h 10. G l e e 1 1. C o n f e c t i o n e r 14. Rust 16. A n d r o e c i u m 19. Interested 2 2 . A b e t 2 3 . N a t i o n a l G r i d 2 7 . Reel 2 9 . Ecstatic 3 0 . U n e d i t e d 3 1 . S t e e p l e s
No 2: Game Show Puzzler
Down 1. C o i l 2. Infect 3. A t t e n u a t e 4. P h a s e 5. R e m i t 6. B e n z o i c 7. Ensue 10. G y r a t i o n 12. C u r 13 R e m i t t a l 16. A t e 17. O r d e r l i e s 18. Iamb
Congratulations! C o m e on d o w n ! The price is right! Y e s , in this w e e k ' s p u z z l e y o u are the lucky w i n n e r of a g a m e s h o w . W e l l a l m o s t - t h e r e ' s just o n e m o r e r o u n d b e t w e e n y o u a n d the g r a n d prize of £ 1 0 , 0 0 0 . H e r e ' s h o w it w o r k s : In front of y o u are t h r e e s i m ilarly g a r i s h b o x e s . In o n e Of t h e s e , y o u are t o l d , is the c a s h . In the o t h e r t w o are b o o b y p r i z e s (The S p i c e Girl b o x set. Urgh.) "Pick a box!" c o m m a n d s your host, M r Bruce Kelly. Y o u d o s o .
"I tell y o u w h a t " , says the
host,
"I'll m a k e it easier for y o u t o w i n . I'm g o i n g t o o p e n
one
of
the
boxes containing a booby prize!" H e o p e n s o n e of the t w o b o x e s y o u have n o t c h o s e n ,
and
sure
e n o u g h , ther e are the evil C D s . "Now,
I'm g o i n g t o give y o u a
SUK on this Competition
s e c o n d c h a n c e - w h i c h b o x is it g o i n g to be?!" (Game s h o w hosts always
have
'!'
at
the
end
of
every s e n t e n c e ) . The Q u e s t i o n is: Should you
change boxes,
of w h o m leave o n the s e v e n t h d a y . T o p marks t o Richard Bossart, Barry Gale &. Tan Swee Heng, w h o w e r e all c o r r e c t . M a i l or e - m a i l y o u r a n s w e r s t o the Felix office (felix@ic.ac.uk).
S t u d e n t U K Independent o n S u n d a y are offering student writers the c h a n c e t o get their w o r k p u b l i s h e d in the ú national press øù w i n Lufthansa a n d Eurostar tickets.
or
keep your original selection?
The s o l u t i o n t o p u z z l e 1 106 (The G r e e n M o n k s ) is s e v e n , all
If y o u
are correct, y o u r n a m e will be p r i n t e d in a blaze of glory next w e e k . C o n t r i b u t i o n s of similar logic / m a t h s p u z z l e s gratefully r e c e i v e d (with s o l u t i o n s please!)
Epistle 2 1 . S p a 2 2 . A d r o i t 2 4 . A s c o t 2 5 . N a t a l 2 6 . L o c u s 2 8 . E d e n
Your Job: W r i t e 5 0 0 w o r d s o n the decriminalisation of cannabis (pro or anti) a n d send it via email to e d i t o r @ s t u d e n t U K . c o m by 2 7 February. For ideas, l o o k at their w e b s i t e : www.studentUK.com
First Prize: Y o u r article p u b lished in the I n d e p e n d e n t o n Sunday, plus a pair of L u f t h a n s a c r o s s - E u r o p e air passes worth £ 6 0 0 . Second Prize: Pair of Eurotrain tickets f r o m L o n d o n to Barcelona worth £ 3 0 0 .
20.
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tory e v e n t s ^ g y M p p F y o u
13 February
T
Rugby Shenanigans Hockey C I v St BARTS A
surge
by
the
Imperial
pack
C v
C II v GREENWICH
W e are great!
resulted in a brace of tries b e f o r e the
opposition
front
row
had
T h e d a y s t a r t e d shit. By the t i m e
we
Hockey
are
I C U H C II 0 - 4 P o r t s m o u t h
lovely birds!
ICUWHC I 1
have
tion, allowing Lionel to score
for
L o g i c , o u r c l u b c a p t a i n g o t the per-
the first t i m e . C o n t i n u e d p r e s s u r e
tol c a p key stuck in t h e ignition of
4 5 2 . 5 p o t e n t i a l g o a l s but lived u p
I C U F C II
for
o u r m i n i - b u s W e w e r e very late.
t o her n a m e a n d injured t w o IC
C o l l e g e II (extra time)
players w i t h her g o l f s h o t s .
Our
I C U F C III 0 - 1 L e e d s m e t r o III
of
the
half
didn't
B a g p u s s s c o r e d an i n t e n t i o n a l
or a kit. T h e n
g o a l that c u r v e d a r o u n d t h e g o a l
Football
keeper and in.
1CUFC 1 0 - 1
0 UMDS
the f o r w a r d s r e s u l t e d in p e n e t r a -
a full t e a m
we
W e w o n and
p l a y e d like d o n k e y s , but w e we
remainder
leave,
Results
S
arrived at H a r l i n g t o n . A d r i v e f r o m
the
wanted to
1998
T h e y i m m e d i a t e l y h a d us u n d e r
c a u s e d a c l i m a x of tries.
Saboteur
missed
Q M W I (Big
scrap)
1 - 2 Chester
Sports
mass
p r e s s u r e , their p a c k w a s fat a n d
w o n d e r f u l c a p t a i n , Snot Face, l e d
I C U F C IV 1 - 0 R o y a l H o l l o w a y
d e b a t e , several players s l i p p e d in
h e a v y . Still, w i t h great s p e e d , our
f r o m the front w i t h s o m e s t u n n i n g
I C U F C VI 3 -
a n d out of the s i d e c a u s i n g c o n f u -
f o r w a r d s set u p an o v e r l a p for our
play h o w e v e r w a s g o a t - l i k e in the
(Chirag h a d a fight)
After
the
half
time
s i o n a m o n g s t t h e IC d e f e n c e . T w o
backs t o take g o o d a d v a n t a g e of.
'D'.
quick tries left Barts w i t h i n s n i f f i n g
Tom
control
distance
Dickinson
IC
were
s o o n back o n t h e r a m p a g e
with
Davo
of v i c t o r y but
and
Lionel
splitting
the
m e d i c s in t w o w i t h a sleek p i n c e r
brought
scored
and
converted. on
a
Chris
Then
ringer
at
they
at
the
back
and
yelled
' D i l d o ' all the t i m e .
D e s p i t e p r e s s u r e o n us w e m a n -
W e are s p e c i a l ! ! ! ICUWHC 1 1 - 0
last w e e k .
UMDS.
t o u g h , but K a i s a u h a d s c a r e d
an u n m i s s a b l e o p p o r t u n i t y w i t h a
many
press p h o t o g r a p h e r o n t h e s i d e l i n e
vicious
of
t o put o n e o v e r w i t h a c h a r m i n g
d i d n ' t e v e n w a n t the ball. They
s m i l e. A l l in all, a s p a n k i n g p e r f o r -
their
players
t a c k l i n g that
ICUFC 23 4 Northumbria
managed
so
with
their
his
C II v
backs
one
w h i c h w o u l d have b e e n m o r e h a d
ICURFC I 31 - 15 St Barts
it not b e e n for excellent
defence.
w e n t into a u t o - d e s t r u c t a n d let in
H II
score,
mance.
t w o more quick goals. In t h e s e c o n d half, 1C w e r e put
The g a m e g o t off t o a bright start
u n d e r p r e s s u r e . W e h e l d out a n d
T h e final w h i s t l e b l e w a n d a great
w i t h p l e n t y of IC pressure a n d w e
the g a m e d r i f t e d into a s w a p p i n g
victory for us w a s s e c u r e d .
w e r e u n l u c k y at least o n c e if n o t
of attacks until P o r t s m o u t h s c o r e d
ICURFC II 17 - 7 Greenwich
t w i c e . The g a m e t h e n m o v e d into a
again.
fast f l o w i n g e n d t o e n d g a m e
C
S SPONSORSHIP
With
This year has s e e n great c h a n g e s t o
A f r i c a this June. There exists only
Imperial's Rugby C l u b s ; R S M have
l i m i t e d s u b s i d y f r o m w i t h i n college. The
returned t o the first t e a m , a p r o -
first
stepped
is
to
fessional c o a c h has b e e n s i g n e d t o
a p p r o a c h c o m p a n i e s w i t h an inter-
train the t e a m every w e e k a n d n o w
est in IC. By s p o n s o r i n g o n e of the
the c l u b s ' latest v e n t u r e is t o find
largest clubs in college, firms have
sponsorship.
a u n i q u e o p p o r t u n i t y t o raise their
rugby, I C U R F C is h a v i n g t o
and
promote
the
result,
IC
2nds
a c q u i t t e d t h e m s e l v e s well a n d c a n
Portsmouth
h o l d their h e a d s u p high
scored
a
break-
I C U H C II 4 - 0 Portsmouth II
The Grim Sweeper C II v CHESTER
C IV v
L
themselves
a r o u n d the c a m p u s . A d v e r t i s i n g is
C h e s t e r w e r e the o p p o n e n t s
steps t o r e m a i n c o m p e t i t i v e w i t h
not
The
the s e c o n d s in the s e c o n d r o u n d
t w i c e this s e a s o n ,
other clubs a n d unfortunately t h e s e
Kensington & Chelsea Gazette and
of t h e B U S A c u p . W e k n e w the first
look
especially
since
steps
Rugby W o r l d m a g a z i n e have a l s o
w a s g o i n g t o be t o u g h , a n d it w a s .
H o l l o w a y s a i d that t h e y
consid-
require
extra
take
profile
Despite
six m i n u t e s t o g o in the first half, t h r o u g h g o a l . S h o c k e d by this 1C
W i t h the arrival of p r o f e s s i o n a l
1 7 - 7 Greenwich
I C U R F C III 10 - 13 P o r t s m o u t h Fencing
The s e c o n d half l o o k e d t o be
spotted
Rugby I C U R F C II
P.S. W e w o n 1 0 - 1
prop.
III
M i s s M i s s k e p t e v e r y t h i n g in
a g e d t w o m o r e tries.
m o v e m e n t r e s u l t i n g in a try. Dan Colt's sharp eye
Selter
1 St G e o r g e ' s
f u n d i n g for
limited to
training a n d e q u i p m e n t . The club is
s h o w n interest.
also l o o k i n g for extra f u n d i n g t o
Contact
s u p p o r t a three w e e k tour t o S o u t h
IC t h o u g h .
m.ayre@ic.ac.uk
T h e s e c o n d half c o n t i n u e d in or
a.gilder@ic.ac.uk.
Firearm Fun O n Saturday, the Rifle a n d Pistol Club shot its first s h o u l d e r t o s h o u l der m a t c h of the s m a l l b o r e s e a s o n . It w a s the first t i m e for half the t e a m , s o it w a s w i t h s o m e t r e p i d a tion that w e a w a i t e d the arrival of the O x f o r d t e a m , o n e of the t o p three t e a m s in the c o u n t r y . They c a m e late, having s t o p p e d off t o shoot s o m e p a u p e r s o n the w a y . Eventually w e h e a r d t h e d i s t a n t chant of " R a h rah rah, w e ' r e g o i n g t o s m a s h the o i k s ! " that h e r a l d e d their
for
the s a m e v e i n but w i t h IC l o s i n g a
H a v i n g already lost t o good,
R H U L IV
omens
didn't
e r e d us as a ' b y e ' into the
next
round.
little g r o u n d t h r o u g h inferior fit-
But our u n m a t c h e d spirit, g e n -
ness. But R o b h a d a n o t h e r s t o r m -
e r a t e d f r o m years of c a m a r a d e r i e ,
i n g g a m e at the back a n d s a v e d us
s h o n e t h r o u g h t o s u c h an extent
t i m e a n d a g a i n . The first half of
that the Fourths m a n a g e d t o d o m -
extra t i m e c a m e
inate t h e g a m e f r o m the kick-off.
and went
with
b o t h t e a m s gi v i n g it their all. W i t h
Lacking
seven minutes to g o Chester went
m o t i v a t e o u r players further,
arrival. Thus began the s h o o t i n g .
ahead. With
W h i l s t the unfamiliar pressure of m a t c h s h o o t i n g m e a n t that m o s t scores were lower than usual, w e d i d w e l l , l o s i n g n a r r o w l y by I 124 (out of 1200) t o 1 139. T o p s c o r e for IC w a s f r o m ' M a d ' M i k e Eustace. T o lose by s u c h a s m a l l m a r g i n t o s t r o n g o p p o s i t i o n in our first m a t c h d o e s us credit a n d suitably e m b o l d e n e d w e are r e a d y a p p r o a c h our future m a t c h e s w i t h relish.
the
120 s e c o n d s left o n
players
served
to
F r o m the kick-off Chris t o o k a
a
s h o t a n d d e s p i t e dribbling o u t for a
s u p e r b Pistol Pete h e a d e r . W i t h 6 0
t h r o w - i n it s i g n a l l e d our intent for
seconds
however,
t h e rest of the g a m e . 1 t h o u g h t that
C h e s t e r w e n t back in front a n d it
p e r h a p s it w a s n ' t t o be our d a y ,
clock,
with
key
IC e q u a l i s e d
o n the
clock,
w a s all over. The best run for a n IC
but the all i m p o r t a n t g o a l w a s cre-
football t e a m in the B U S A c u p in
a t e d by D a r r e n a n d c a l m l y finished
living m e m o r y w a s over, but e v e n
by C h r i s . T h e e x p e c t e d a H o l l o w a y
so
onslaught
it w a s
mance
a
magnificent
perfor-
by t h e b o y s in black a n d
never m a t e r i a l i s e d a n d
Imperial Fourths never lost
con-
red. Hurrah!
c e n t r a t i o n . W e fully d e s e r v e d our
ICUAFC 1 - 2 Chester
victory. ICUAFC IV 1
0 R H U L IV