/1998_1118_A by Ravi Pall

THA B O M B !

Back at Last

Union Farce MARK

BAKER

Last Friday, the Annual General M e e t i n g of Imperial College U n i o n w a s w a s dramatically interrupted by student Andy Southern, w h o halted the meeting as less than 200 students were present. T h e n o r m a l l y s e d a t e affair at w h i c h t h e annual report is a p p r o v e d , officers are e l e c t e d for the next a c a d e m i c year a n d the s t u d e n t b o d y is g i v e n a n o p p o r t u nity to quiz their elected Sabbaticals w a s d o g g e d w i t h p r o b l e m s f r o m t h e start. D u e t o a major event in Beit Q u a d - t h e A n d e r s e n C o n s u l t i n g Pit S t o p C h a l l e n g e - t h e v e n u e h a d t o be c h a n g e d t o t h e U n i o n D i n i n g H a l l at t h e last minute, leaving s o m e attendees confused. T h e m e e t i n g initially p r o c e e d ed normally, with Natasha N e w t o n re-elected u n o p p o s e d of a c c o m m o d a t i o n officer. T h e p o s i t i o n o f c o u n c i l chair, a l s o chair o f t h e powerful executive committee, w e n t t o A n d y King after e x - I C U P r e s i d e n t Eric A l l s o p w i t h d r e w his candidacy. After m u c h discussion o n t u i t i o n fees, S i m o n L e w i s w a s e l e c t e d as E q u a l O p p o r t u n i t i e s O f f i c e r . There w e r e n o c a n d i d a t e s for t h e p o s t s of R A G Chair a n d Transport Officer, a n d so these c o u l d n o t be e l e c t e d at t h e meeting.

Issue 1118 5

June 1998

R e n e Frank, a B i o c h e m i s t r y P o s t g r a d u a t e , w a s t h e only c a n d i d a t e for W e l f a r e O f f i c e r a n d fielde d a barrage of q u e s t i o n s . Before the m e e t i n g c o u l d m o v e t o a v o t e , Andy Southern, a Mechanical Engineering student, shouted " Q u o r u m ! " a n d so forced the closure of t h e m e e t i n g , as a r o u n d 6 0 s t u d e n t s w e r e in a t t e n d a n c e rather than the required 200. M r Southern's actions were evidently unpopular with those w h o had m a d e t h e effort t o a t t e n d , as a cry of " Y o u t w a t ! " a n d similar c o m ments were voiced. In a letter t o Felix e x p l a i n i n g the r e a s o n i n g b e h i n d his a c t i o n s , M r S o u t h e r n s t a t e d that he d i d not halt t h e m e e t i n g o u t o f s p i t e , c l a i m i n g "I d o n o t hate the u n i o n ,

FINAL ISSUE - 24 JUNE

Tricky's Latest Album Reviewed

Colour Extravaganza

Ends in or resent i t . " Instead he i n s i s t e d that the m e e t i n g h a d t o c l o s e " i n the interests of t h e s t u d e n t b o d y " as there w e r e n o t e n o u g h p e o p l e p r e s e n t . M r S o u t h e r n c i t e d insufficient publicity as b e i n g t h e chief c a u s e o f t h e lack o f s t u d e n t interest, laying t h e b l a m e s q u a r e l y at the feet of t h e m e m b e r s of C o u n c i l . "They don't want students to a t t e n d the A G M , " he w r o t e , b e f o r e g o i n g o n t o suggest that s abbati would be cal's performance i m p r o v e d if t h e i r a c t i o n s w e r e questioned more often. In r e s p o n s e , I C U P r e s i d e n t A n d r e w H e e p s s a i d " p u b l i c i t y for the A G M w a s p u t u p a r o u n d t h e walkway a n d the Union o n the M o n d a y ; however members of C o u n c i l have h a d t h e d a t e s i n c e November, therefore having the i n f o r m a t i o n t o pass t o their c o n s t i t u e n c i e s . " T o t h e c l a i m that he h a d n o t d o n e e n o u g h t o publicise the A G M , M r H e e p s c o m m e n t e d that " i t is i m p o s s i b l e for us t o g o into every lecture theatre, a n d t h e

JCR t o r e m i n d p e o p l e about the A G M . " H o w e v e r he d i d n o t think that it w a s a t o t a l failure, as " 8 t i m e s as m a n y m o r e p e o p l e t u r n e d u p this y e a r t h a n last." Indicating that t h e m o n t h s in o f f i c e have not y e t s t r i p p e d h i m o f his h u m o u r , t o p u b l i c i s e t h e next A G M he said " p e r h a p s I s h o u l d g o t o t h e t o p of the Q u e e n ' s Tower, a n d shout about it." The r e s c h e d u l e d A G M takes p l a c e t o d a y at 1 2 : 3 0 in d B s . T h e f o l l o w i n g p o s t s will be e l e c t e d ; Welfare Officer, Transport Officer a n d R A G C h a i r . A n y o n e interested in s t a n d i n g for t h e s e p o s i t i o n s s h o u l d sign u p o p p o s i t e t h e U n i o n O f f i c e in Beit Q u a d . T h e p r e s e n t a tion a n d approval of the I C U A n n u a l R e p o r t will a l s o o c c u r at the A G M this Friday l u n c h t i m e . A l l are very w e l c o m e t o a t t e n d . T h e full l e t t e r f r o m A n d y S o u t h e r n c a n be r e a d at t h e Felix w e b site - www.su.ic.ac.uk/Felix/

Last Friday afternoon, Beit Q u a d was livened up by the appearence of a Williams-Renault Formula O n e car. Students were challenged to perform the fastest wheel change. It was w o n jointly, at 14.22 seconds. Photos:

David

Roberts

e 8

NEWS

e Cash for BMS

THOMSON

s out."

IC Estates Department is giving out cash bonuses to construction team supervisors in a bid to get the Bio-medical Building completed in time. A w e e k l y p r i z e of £ 2 0 0 is b e i n g h a n d e d over t o the best f o r e m a n , as j u d g e d by a p a n e l c o n s i s t i n g of representatives f r o m Estates a n d Schal, the m a i n c o n t r a c t o r s . A further £ 1 0 0 0 a w e e k is b e i n g set aside t o w a r d a gigantic party o n 15 June, subject t o w o r k e r s attaining weekly progress targets. N o w in its fifth w e e k , t h e s c h e m e is i n t e n d e d t o m o t i v a t e s u b c o n t r a c t o r s w h o s e w o r k has been r e p e a t e d l y u n d o n e as m o r e and m o r e c h a n g e s t o t h e original design have b e c o m e necessary. S o far, £ 4 m has b e e n s p e n t o n alterations, o f t e n f o r c i n g w o r k t o be r i p p e d out a n d r e p l a c e d . "There's been an i n o r d i n a t e a m o u n t of fitout a d a p t i o n s - 6 0 or 7 0 r o o m s have been a f f e c t e d " , e x p l a i n e d Phil H i l t o n , the project m a n a g e r , "it is d e m o r a l i s i n g a n d frustrating [for t h e builders] s o see f i n i s h e d , p a i n t e d and p l a s t e r e d r o o m s b e i n g r i p p e d

News in Brief...

T h e s e alterations are p u s h i n g the c o m p e t i o n d a t e of the recentlyn a m e d F l e m i n g building back, leavi n g less a n d less t i m e for t h e Biology a n d M e d i c a l d e p a r t m e n t s t o m o v e in before t e r m starts in O c t o b e r . The p l a n n e d h a n d - o v e r d a t e has m o v e d f r o m 13 April t o "early A u g u s t " . A l t h o u g h unable t o give a definate date, M r H i l t o n t o l d us that " w e are c o n t r a c t e d t o have the building ready for u n d e r g r a d u ate t e a c h i n g o n 1 O c t o b e r , a n d w e w i l l " , a l t h o u g h he d i d c o n c e e d that it w a s g e t t i n g " c l o s e " . M o r e controversial is the f u n d ing for the s c h e m e . A c c o r d i n g t o a source close to the Estates D e p a r t m e n t , the bonuses w e r e originally i n t e n d e d t o be £ 1500 c a s h , rather than £ 2 0 0 . H o w e v e r , there w a s " d e e p c o n c e r n " o v e r realeasing this m o n e y , a n d the c o l lege auditors h a d to be c o n t a c t e d . Mike Hansen, however, a p p e a r e d t o be u n a w a r e of the s p e n d i n g . "I k n o w that it w a s disc u s s e d " , he s a i d , "but 1 d o n ' t k n o w any details. It's up t o [lan] C a l d w e l l and his t e a m t o build the building, and w e ' l l just let h i m get o n w i t h it."

flies in the face of Labour's s u p p o r t for free university e d u c a t i o n for all.

T DECLARE PARTY Chris S m i t h , Secretary for C u l t u r e , has a n n o u n c e d an extra d a y ' s national h o l i d a y o n 31 D e c e m b e r 1 9 9 8 . This m e a n s that there are n o w four straight d a y s a c r o s s t h e m i l l e n n i u m in w h i c h t o celebrate and recover, as M o n d a y 3 January 2 0 0 0 is also a bank h o l i d a y .

S A

new

stratagy

meningitus

managing

outbreaks

was

r e l e a s e d t o d a y by the C o m m i t t e e of V i c e - C h a n c e l l o r s a n d P r i n c i p l e s ( C V C P ) . It e n c o u r a g e s all u n i v e r s i ties t o d e v i s e a strategy t o d e a l w i t h the d i s e a s e ,

w h i c h is t w o -

a n d - a - h a l f t i m e s m o r e c o m m o n in 15-19 year o l d s than the rest of the p o p u l a t i o n s . Its release f o l l o w s t h e

deci-

s i o n by S o u t h a m p t o n University t o v a c c i n a t e all freshers this year, after

three

students

died

there

last year.

REVOLT Today, 1 2 . 3 0 p m . d B s . Your c h a n c e to: Q u i z your sabbatical officers •• •

P r e v i e w the A n n u a l R e p o r t .

E v e r y b o d y c a n turn u p a n d v o t e , s o BE T H E R E !

s Dr in S UNCLE

SAM

Students across the USA have been staging protests and riots last month over alcohol bans. Tear gas w a s u s e d against a 3 0 0 0 s t r o n g g r o u p in M i t c h i g a n , w h o p e l t e d p o l i c e after a l c o h o l w a s banned at a football m a t c h . The legal d r i n k i n g a g e in A m e r i c a is 21 - a rule w h i c h is b e i n g e n f o r c e d w i t h i n c r e a s i n g vigilance by c a m p u s p o l i c e . S o m e universities have e v e n b a n n e d d r i n k i n g altogether. S t u d e n t s caught o f f e n d i n g are likely t o be arrested, not by the

State P o l i c e , but by officers o n c a m p u s . T h e s e security guards are s w o r n - i n p o l i c e officers, a n d r o u t i n e l y c a r r y 9 m m p i s t o l s . The University of California (Los A n g e l e s C a m p u s ) has 75 s u c h officers, but San D i e g o University g o e s further; officers carry b a c k - u p h a n d g u n s , and t w o patrol cars are fitted w i t h prominent shotgun-racks. IC's o w n C h i e f Security Officer, Ken W e i r , w h e n a s k e d about the possibility of s u p p l y i n g w e a p o n s t o officers, said "we considered batons a n d h a n d c u f f s , but realised that t h e r e ' d be n o w h e r e left o n the belts to put the M a g n u m s . "

Y o u c a n r e a d the bill in full at: w w w . s u . ic.ac.uk/Felix/1 118/bill.html

TUBE

CHAOS

i Imperial College Union

Vote in o f f i c e r s for next y e a r

W h e n a d d e d to plans to w i d e n t h e s y s t e m of s t u d e n t loans, t h e y fear s t u d e n t s will face d e b t s of m o r e t h a n £ 1 3 , 0 0 0 after t h e y finish their d e g r e e s .

The P r i m e M i n s t e r faces a p o t e n tially d a m a g i n g b a c k b e n c h revolt next w e e k over the plans to i m p o s e £ 1,000 t u i t i o n fees o n s t u d e n t s . L a b o u r M P s have h e l d m e e t i n g s to e n c o u r a g e s u p p o r t for w h a t s o m e fear c o u l d be a protest e q u a l in s i z e t o t h e last y e a r ' s rebellion o v e r cuts in be n e fit t o single m o t h e r s , w h e r e o n e minister a n d four p a r l i a m e n t a r y private secretaries r e s i g n e d a n d 4 7 Labour M P s v o t e d against the Government. Senior Government sources are a n x i o u s t o a v o i d a repeat performance, and, until now, b e l i e v e d that t h e Education Secretary David Blunkett had d o n e e n o u g h w i t h a series of c o n c e s s i o n s . O p p o s i t i o n , h o w e v e r , is h a r d e n i n g against his T e a c h i n g and H i g h e r E d u c a t i o n Bill before its final C o m m o n s stages early next w e e k . Rebels

c l a i m that

the

move

Following an "overwhelming" vote by T u b e m e m b e r s of the Rail M a r i t i m e and Transport Union, U n i o n l e a d e r s are t o d e c i d e w h e t h e r t o o r d e r industrial a c t i o n across London Underground. T h e y are p r o t e s t i n g o v e r t h e G o v e r n m e n t ' s i n t e n t i o n t o partprivatise the U n d e r g r o u n d s y s t e m t o raise b i l l i o n s of p o u n d s in i n v e s t m e n t m o n e y . The leaders a n n o u n c e d t h e i r d e c i s i o n last night, after e m e r g e n c y sessions all d a y y e s t e r d a y . S o m e staff will be transferred to the private c o m p a n i e s and w i d e s p r e a d job losses are f e a r e d . Feelings are r u n n i n g high a m o n g u n i o n officials, w i t h s o m e pressing for 48-hour stoppages. Industrial a c t i o n w a s b a c k e d by 2,471 m e m b e r s , w i t h 4 6 2 against but only 4 9 per c e n t of m o r e than 6 , 0 0 0 eligible staff r e t u r n e d their ballot p a p e r s . Despite L o n d o n U n d e r g r o u n d c l a i m s that D e p u t y P r i m e M i n i s t e r John Prescott has g i v e n a s s u r a n c e s o n issues s u c h as p a y a n d w o r k i n g h o u r s , R M T assistant g e n e r a l secretary B o b C r o w s a i d : " W e have b e e n trying for m o n t h s t o get the c o m p a n y t o d i s c u s s t h e s e issues but they have refused t o d o s o . " Industrial a c t i o n by staff w o u l d seriously d i s r u p t rail services, a n d p o t e n tially c a u s e c h a o s .

Please n o t e that t h e next issue, the last of t h e t e r m , will be i s s u e d o n W e d n e s d a y 2 4 June. If y o u have a n y i d e a s or contributions, p l e a s e c o n t a c t us as s o o n as p o s s i b l e , in t h e U n i o n Resource Centre.

e 8

NEWS

Ken Weale Dies JULIA H A R R I E S

a l w a y s e x t r e m e l y p o p u l a r , h a v i n g as he d i d t i m e

Dr Ken Weale, a former Senior Treasurer of Imperial College Union died in hospital of pneumonia on the seventh of May. H e w a s

S e n i o r Treasurer for t w e n t y - f i v e years, s h o w i n g his interest in a n d d e d i c a t i o n t o the u n i o n . It is

seventy-four years o l d . A keen sportsman and a

that he will be best r e m e m b e r e d .

for a b s o l u t e l y e v e r y o n e . H e h e l d the p o s i t i o n of

well l o v e d m e m b e r of c o l l e g e , Dr W e a l e

for this as w e l l as for his c o n c e r n a n d h a r d w o r k

man-

A familiar figure in S o u t h s i d e Bar, Dr W e a l e

a g e d t o c o m b i n e his v a r i o u s s p o r t i n g activities

w a s also an a c t i v e m e m b e r of all thre e of the

w i t h his d u a l roles as S e n i o r C o l l e g e Tutor a n d a

c o l l e g e e l e c t i v e s o c i a l c l u b s , the Links C l u b , the

member

of the

College

B o a r d of

Governors.

Excelling at rugby, he w a s the s e c o n d

' 2 2 C l u b a n d the C h a p s , a n d regularly s p o k e at

President

their

of the Imperial C o l l e g e R u g b y F o o t b a l l C l u b , as well

playing

University

for

Imperial

London and

p l a y e d cricket

Imperial

years,

was

College a

keen

boxer

Bar

P r e s i d e n t o f the ICRFC,

r e m e m b e r s h i m as " a really nice b l o k e , p r o b a b l y the m o s t p r o m i n e n t p e r s o n I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e has

A s w e l l as this,

ever h a d . H e w a s a l w a y s s m i l i n g , h a d t i m e for

for b o t h Cricket

Pownell, Southside

the

Old

Imperial

and

L o n d o n University, s e r v i n g as the P r e s i d e n t the

Roger

Boys

several

t e a m s until w e l l into his fifties. he also

College,

dinners.

M a n a g e r a n d current

C l u b for and

e v e r y o n e a n d w a s a really s p e c i a l p e r s o n . "

A m e m o r i a l service is t o be h e l d for h i m in

many

O c t o b e r , as w e l l as a R u g b y C l u b m e m o r i a l d i n -

former

ner for all t h o s e w h o k n e w h i m w e l l , reflecting

H e a v y w e i g h t B o x i n g C h a m p i o n o f the U n i v e r s i t y

his p o p u l a r i t y in C o l l e g e . A s o n e of the l e a d i n g

of L o n d o n .

enthusiasm. Photo:

his first d e g r e e at the U n i v e r s i t y of A b e r y s t w y t h , coming to

Ken Weale; renouned for his energy and

B o r n in W a l e s in 1 9 2 3 , Dr W e a l e c o m p l e t e d Imperial C o l l e g e as a R e a d e r in the

figures at Imperial C o l l e g e , he will be ings w i t h h i m .

with student

affairs. A s a f o r m e r W a r d e n

D e p a r t m e n t of C h e m i c a l of E n g i n e e r i n g shortly

F a l m o u t h - K e o u g h H a l l , he is c r e d i t e d w i t h start-

after the S e c o n d W o r l d W a r . A s S e n i o r C o l l e g e

ing s o m e of the hall's earliest traditions, a n d in

Tutor, he lived o n c a m p u s for over thirty y e a r s ,

a r e m i n i s c e n t m o o d w a s apt t o tell the tale of

a n d d u r i n g that t i m e b e c a m e heavily i n v o l v e d

the e x p l o s i o n o n the O l d H o s t e l roof. H e w a s

Dr. Solomon's Anti - Virus Software Version 7.82 is now available Come and register at CCS SHOP Level 4 Mechanical Engineering . 3 k

r Magic t Disk,

9.30am - 5.00pm (Wed 10.00am - 5.00pm)

greatly

m i s s e d by e v e r y o n e w h o k n e w h i m or h a d d e a l -

and

d !

Cb?

&& ! " #$e % 8

LETTERS

Letters to Felix, USS SUCCESS

For

information,

Dear Jeremy,

alternatively c o n t a c t

I w o u l d like t o r e m i n d everybody

about

t h e 'Ethics

First'

(contact

'Third

details

World

CLUE

below) t o

U S S ' p l e d g e y o u r s u p p o r t . A t least t w e n ty five IC lecturers already have.

for

HASN'T A

Iam

available at t . c . s m i t h @ i c . a c . u k

Sir,

c a m p a i g n that Imperial g o t a t a s t e of at the b e g i n n i n g of the y e a r . 'Ethics

for USS'

country.

The

national

A s s o c i a t i o n o f U n i v e r s i ty T e a c h e r s (the

largest

lecturers

rad io

panel game

for almost 2 5

y e a r s . I w o u l d like t o say it is as

Dear Felix

but s i n c e I'm only 2 0 , I c a n ' t really

funny t o d a y as it w a s 2 5 years a g o ,

i n s u p p o r t o f 'Ethics f o r

F o l l o w i n g a rather nasty f l o o d

c o m m e n t . It d o e s h o w e v e r have a

U S S ' a n d individual lecturer s u p p o r t

o n T u e s d a y , I have c o m p i l e d a list

large lisenership, w h o regularly t u n e

is g r o w i n g all the t i m e .

of a n t i - f l o o d p r e c a u t i o n s :

in t o hear the m a n i c a n d o f t e n sur-

motion

funds.

USS, the

Superannuation

1. If y o u live in the t o p of a V i c t o r i a n

'University

Scheme'

invests

a b o u t 13.5 billion p o u n d s a y e a r in industries a r o u n d t h e w o r l d .

ISIHAC regularly h o s t s

t e r r a c e d h o u s e , m a k e sure t h e

such

as Tim

l a n d l o r d has the gutters c l e a n e d

Merton

Brook

talents

Taylor,

a n d Samantha.

hear g a m e s s u c h as the s i m p l e , but

o u t regularly.

c o m p l e x s o u n d i n g ' O n e s o n g t o the

2. N o t i f y y o u r l a n d l o r d if y o u s e e

investors

w e t p a t c h e s in the c e i l i n g after

tune o f another',

vast a m o u n t s o f p o w e r a n d influ-

heavy rain. U n l e s s it is a hole in

c o d e ' a n d o f c o u r s e the i n f a m o u s

e n c e in the w a y that p u b l i c c o m p a -

the roof, t h e n the gutters n e e d

'Mornington Crescent'?

nies a n d m u l t i n a t i o n a l s are r u n .

cleaning immediately.

fund

' G u e s s t h e bar.

ISIHAC is an e x a m p l e of e c c e n water

tric British h u m o u r at its best. It c a n

University

does c o m e in, y o u M U S T turn

stand alongside M o n t y Python and

Superannuation Scheme t o adopt

the p o w e r off at t h e m a i n fuse

S p i k e M i l l i g a n as c o m e d y

STRAIGHT A W A Y as the water

W i t h t h e surplus o f m o n o t o n o u s

will

s i t c o m s a n d c h e a p A m e r i c a n tat o n

Ethics for U S S is a c a m p a i g n calling

the

'Ethical i n v e s t m e n t

P o l i c y ' . It

w o u l d currently b e i m p o s s i b l e t o

through

t h e light

fixings first.

invest that m u c h m o n e y u s i n g a n y t r u s t w o r t h y ethical i n v e s t m e n t

If y o u a r e unlucky a n d

come

4 . If t h e w a t e r is really p o u r i n g i n ,

teria, s o the c a m p a i g n calls o n the

c r i t i c i s m is u n f o u n d e d a n d t o b e

y o u n e e d t o m a k e holes in the

a v o i d e d . I h o p e that, in future, y o u

to use

c e i l i n g (with knife o r a s c r e w -

will

their influencial p o w e r t o c h a n g e

driver) e v e r y w h e r e that is w e t .

oasis o f Britishness.

of unscrupulous

W a t e r will g u s h o u t o f t h e s e

Ross N e w e l l

holes

Shep M a i n 2

the

operations

Scheme

c o m p a n i e s in w h i c h t h e y invest.

a n d make

a dreadful

show

respect

f o r this

The g r e a t e s t irony in t h e p e n -

m e s s , but if y o u don't t h e n the

PS W h a t has Trans-cranial M a g n e t i c

s i o n s y s t e m is that the p e n s i o n o f

c e i l i n g will c o l l a p s e a n d m a k e a

S t i m u l a t i o n got t o d o w i t h anything?

every individual is i n v e s t e d o n t h e

much worse mess.

(This w a s the only reference t o T M S

stock

exchange

for m a x i m u m

return. In o r d e r t o a c h e i v e mum

return for their

5. M o v e c o u r s e w o r k a n d n o t e s first

maxiare

likely

Environment,

Make

sure

e v e r y t h i n g is

d r y being a bit uncharitable there, old

disregard

the

(including the inside of s o c k e t s )

that

before t u r n i n g the p o w e r o n .

s u p p o r t i n g this vital c a m p a i g n .

/ t

.Hhr

1 /

34567

iv.r yrwi

Publication Board '

89 8 '

t C

•.'-;>' .Wv

phuto:™':,::!;;!*';.

Really, Ross, I rather think you're

e r e d by insurance.

a n d anything

y o u can't d o y o u r s e l f A N Y h a r m b y

o n the B B C web-site)

chap, what w i t h that Sorry I Haven't a Clue being, well, rather costs them m o n e y s u c h a s their pointless, what w i t h a l l that o w n e m p l o y e e s . Currently w e a r e Mornington Crescent nonsense, If y o u are c o n s i d e r i n g renting a seeing the 'Corporatisation' of Henry, and oh there's a number t o p floor flat, l o o k at the c e i l i n g very Universities w h i c h gives us less 24 going down the Kilburn Park carefully. A s k a b o u t any s t a i n i n g or c h o i c e over w h a t w e r e s e a r c h a n d Road, I mean one never really l o o s e w a l l p a p e r near t o o u t s i d e little say o v e r w h a t is d o n e w i t h o u r knows what they're talking about, walls. w o r k . This ' c y c l i c ' c h a i n o f events does one oh, that was a beautiful O t h e r clues are different t y p e s m e a n s that unless employees of w a l l p a p e r in t h e s a m e r o o m o r googlie going down the off side (public a n d private) take a s t a n c e t o and Jack's tossed it to his man at o n l y r o o m s a l o n g o n e wall b e i n g break the c h a i n b y i n v e s t i n g their siliy-mid-off who lobs it to Gough freshly p a i n t e d . Don't be f o b b e d off p e n s i o n s ethically, t h e y a r e their by t h e l a n d l o r d s a y i n g that it h a s at long leg I mean t o say, you own victims. wouldn't catch us talking such b e e n s o r t e d o u t . It n e e d s d o i n g nonsense, Henry, i t ' s rather Although investing 'Ethically' several t i m e s a year. inane, that's all oh and there's a inevitably m e a n s i n v e s t i n g in s m a l l I k n o w this s e e m s like overkill troop of three pigeons wandering er c o m p a n i e s , there is e v i d e n c e t o but h a d I not b e e n in o n T u e s d a y rather languidly across the outsuggest that s p r e a d i n g m o n e y i n m o r n i n g , I w o u l d have returned t o field and a rather chocothis w a y g i v e s better return, apart find m y b o o k s , n o t e s a n d c o m p u t e r late cake has been thrust into my f r o m w h i c h , U S S p e n s i o n s are guarr u i n e d a n d w e t plaster over everyhand etc etc... a n t e e d a n y w a y , w h i c h m e a n s that t h i n g . Even s o , I still j u m p o u t of m y more

,i .L

b e c a u s e e v e r y t h i n g else is c o v -

shareholders

(ie. P e n s i o n f u n d s ) , c o m p a n i e s

c l a s s i c s.

rad io a n d TV, I feel that this f o r m o f

cri-

Superannuation

'(()*+,-.

Paul

O n e can

This

gives t h e p e n s i o n

FELIX

real g a m e s p l a y e d by the panellists.

The largest single i n v e s t o r s o n the stock e x c h a n g e are t h e p e n s i o n

music

HOUSE O F HELL V

union) h a s

now, almost unanimously pas s ed a

(I'm sorry, I

s e c t i o n ? ISIHAC has b e e n a p o p u l a r

w i d e s u p p o r t f r o m lecturers a c r o s s the

h a s ISIHAC

b o t t o m m a r k in last w e e k s

T o m S m i t h (Physics U G 2 )

has received

Why

haven't a clue) b e e n p l a c e d as t h e

Cheers

skin at the s o u n d of r u n n i n g w a t e r ! Abigail H o p s o n , C h e m 2

ikion

: '

, ..Vrl.i:

i. h i

; < ==>>>?@

W',:«C i",C (I'V

jtisor RftiTiitfW'haifi .S 1

BCDCEFC G K(Vh'-

:-W < i.

Tsv'.-ul

;!!(•:•!• ,

• 'is

i. : .": ii "..

i . i'xtihy

, '1M' ..

' ' 1

.ie

NN I J KLe M 8

NOTICES 8. EDITORIAL

nE21LPOE L7 OPQRS L7 c

TU VW XS

^BOrnlT

Please note that there will be no more full issues oi Felix this term until the final issue on 24 June, due to the Felix of/ice moving house. However, we will issue a newsletter next Friday to keep yon informed of the progress of the DP (F&S) election. It you have any ideas or contributions for the final issue of term, please come and see us in the Union Resource Centre as soon as possible. Thanks. Ed.

SAVE POUNDS WITH YOUR UNION CARD £££££ New that

YZ[\]^_cd `ab e pre fghilmn o jk j p at

charge

qrs so

stu

have

HAIR NEWS HAIR NEWS HAIR NEWS

HAIR CUT £8.00

Editorial O n e of the greatest causes of h u m an suffering, animal cruelty and environmental destruction t o d a y is t h e p e r n i c i o u s barrier that has b e e n e r e c t e d b e t w e e n p e o p l e and their m o n e y .

profit) t h e next d a y , w i t h n o - b o d y any t h e w i s e r . Y o u m a y find it surprising that e v e n t h e shiny n e w 'ethical' banks such as The C o o p e r a t i v e bank indulge in this d u b i ous practice.

This m a y s e e m like a rather s w e e p i n g s t a t e m e n t , but let m e e x p l a i n . There are, a n d a l w a y s will be, p e o p l e s o d e e p l y selfish a n d m e r c e n a r y that t h e y d o n ' t care w h e t h e r they are p e r s o n a l l y f u n d ing a n d h e n c e s u p p o r t i n g torture, m u r d e r a n d w a r . These p e o p l e are thankfully in the m i n o r i t y , a n d w e r e their a c ti o ns t o b e s e e n directly, they w o u l d p r o b a b l y be b r a n d e d as 'evil' b y s o c i e t y . Y e t , o p p r e s s i v e regimes thrive, millions are e x p l o i t ed to the point of death and the planet is b e i n g s a c k e d b e y o n d p o s sibility o f recovery, all in t h e n a m e of profit for t h e average investor (ie. all o f y o u r e a d i n g this article). So w h y d o w e , f a i r - m i n d e d a n d conscientious people, continue t o actively p r o m o t e s u c h atrocities? S i m p l e - i g n o r a n c e . N o n e o f us k n o w w h a t o u r m o n e y is b e i n g i n v e s t e d i n , a n d further m o r e w e have n o w a y o f finding o u t .

What, then, c a n be done to prevent o u r m o n e y b e i n g u s e d t o support causes with which w e ' d rather drill h o l e s i n our h e a d than be a s s o c i a t e d ? N o t i c e that at t h e b e g i n n i n g o f this article I d i d not say that m o n e y itself w a s c a u s i n g t h e s e p r o b l e m s . M o n e y is a t o o l , and a p o w e r f u l o n e at that. If o r d i nary investors w i s h t o c h a n g e t h e fruits o f their i n v e s t m e n t s for t h e better, t h e n it is t h e m o n e y itself that s h o u l d b e u s e d a s the lever. If i n v e s t m e n t s t r e n d t o w a r d s ethical schemes a n d away from those proven to be immoral, then y o u c a n b e d a m n sure that t h e banks a n d i n v e s t m e n t a g e n c i e s will be falling o v e r e a c h other t o p r o v i d e such opportunities.

Take, as a n e x a m p l e , t h e nightbanking s y s t e m o p e r a t e d b y virtually all British banks. After the c l o s e of business at t h e s t o c k e x c h a n g e and the c l o s u r e o f the banks for the evening, the colossal sums of m o n e y c o n t a i n e d in o r d i n a r y current a c c o u n t s is a m a s s e d a n d invested o v e r n i g h t in E a s t e r n e x c h a n g e s . It is t h e n r e t u r n e d (with

True, m o s t o f us invest c o m p a r a t i v e l y little, a n d h e n c e o u r leverage is s m a l l (but N O T negligible). This is w h y t h e s u c c e s s o f the 'Ethical i n v e s t m e n t for t h e U S S ' s c h e m e (see p a g e four) is s u c h g o o d n e w s . N o t only, d o e s it have t h e extra c r e d e n c e o f b e i n g a state i n v e s t m e n t s c h e m e , b u t it also p a c k s a £ 1 3.5 billion p u n c h . This is m o r e t h a n a start - it is part o f the solution.

wxyz{| known

slightest

}~ like it that he doesn't agree - see ~ Baker

to be in the

UNISEX UNISEX UNISEX UNISEX UNISEX INCLUDES:

Small

=V C O N S U L T A T I O N a

Ads

cV S H A M P O O .

PRECISION

HAIR CUT d

USE OF HAIRDRIER

gel

OPEN

v-OOAM

- 6.00PM

Last Appointment for Hair Cut 6.00pm Phone for information o n other special offers, e.g. Perms. Highlights, Tints.

TREVOR ROY SALON 52 K e n s i n g t o n C h u r c h Street, W 8

TEL: 0171 937 6413 3 m i n u t e s f r o m H i g h St. K e n s i n g t o n & N o t t i n g H i l l G a t e

Tasha Newton, I C U a c c o m m o d a t i o n officer, w a n t s t o hear f r o m a n y o n e w h o h a s ever h a d p r o b l e m s w i t h a n intercollegiate hall. C o n t a c t T a s h a for any a c c o m m o d a t i o n p r o b l e m s o n 0 9 5 8 7 0 7 41 5 or n . n e w t o n @ i c . a c . u k .

Citroen AX 14 TZS For Sale E Reg, e/w, lots o f history, n e w exhaust a n d front s h o c k s , full d e a l er service a n d M O T last N o v e m b e r , £ 1 0 0 0 o n o a.bettinson@ic.ac.uk or phone A d a m o n X57121.

2 x RAM BDX80 Decks + 1 S o u n d l a b D S M 1 5 mixer. Great

for s t a r t i n g o n . £ 1 5 0 all inc. s.a.hasan@ic.ac.uk or Amir 0171 3 8 6 8 9 0 6

Choir of St Luke's C h e l s e a , is l o o k i n g for a t e n o r (or tenors). W e are a friendly c h o i r o f a very high s t a n d a r d , s i n g i n g three t i m e s a w e e k (one Friday practice and t w o S u n d a y services) w i t h a wide repertoire ranging from Palesttina t o Part. Interested? Email D a v i d at d . n u t t @ i c . a c . u k for information.

e 8

C O L U M N S oV STARS Tom S m i t h ' s letter, on behalf of Third W o r l d First, cannot g o u n a n s w e r e d . For t h o s e of y o u that s k i p p e d the letters page in a frantic effort t o get straight to m y h u m b l e prose, the A s s o c i a t i o n of University Teachers have p a s s e d a m o t i o n t o p r o m o t e 'ethical' investment by the University Superannuation S c h e m e , the lecturers' p e n s i o n f u n d . This, as T o m p o i n t e d out, w a s first raised a few m o n t h s ago, a n d I h a d m y doubts. I still d o . These objections were principally practically, suggesting that the f u n d ' s i n v e s t m e n t returns m a y fall, a v i e w that w a s countered with 'it d o e s n ' t matter because the p e n s i o n is g u a r a n t e e d . ' True, insofar as the p a y o u t s are fixed at a fixed p r o p o r t i o n for every year of service, but if the returns d i p , s o m e o n e will have to pick u p the tab. This is m o s t likely t o be the e m p l o y e r s or the g o v e r n m e n t , but either w a y the shortfall c a n n o t s i m ply be met by m a g i c . In the e n d , w e all pay. T o m is right in saying that the p e n s i o n funds w i e l d considerable influence, but the U S S ' s £ 1 3 . 5 billion is relatively insignificant in the grand s c h e m e of things. P e n s i o n

funds d o exert influence, but this is principally u s e d to m axim ise shareholder value, not political troublem a k i n g . The notion that the U S S can c hange the w o r l d is nonsense. In order to invest 'ethically', T o m suggests that it will be necessary to invest in smaller c o m p a n i e s . Ignoring for the m o m e n t the i m p l i - i c a t i o n that all large Qj c o r p o r a t i o n s are \y tyrannical m n -- j^>» mo on sters d e t e r m i n e d to destroy the w o r l d , it m a y be true that s m a l l , niche c o m p a n i e s m a y be m o r e likely t o satisfy the political a g e n d a o f j H the AUT. H o w e v e r , his s u g gestion that such investment can lead to higher returns is very m i s leading. 1 agree that if y o u manage to pick the next m i n n o w about to turn into a whale, the profits will be spectacular, but the c h a n c e s of getting o n e ' s fingers burnt increase exponentially. This is not the w a y that a responsible p e n s i o n fund

Taurus (21/4 - 2 W 5 ) A l a s , y o u r a t t e m f t s t o grcllv a tail have b e e n t h w a r t e d . This wilf^gygj^yrifove beneficial as it w o u l d have c l a s h j ^ ^ n o m T m w i t h y o u r s a f f r o n c o l o u r e d m a s c a r ^ a n d o r a f c e fright w i g . The best t h i n g for yoiJt to d o ntjlv is to p u r c h a s e a large bottle of m e ^ M M M c o h o l a n d f e e d it t o pigeons.

Gemini (22/5 - 21/6) Alas, the n u r s ^ . l ^ J ^ d d ^ p K t i M I m o r p h i n e a n d I c a n n o t get a n o t h e r fix. K i r a n d p a r e n t s feature heavily this f o r t n i g l t as tlf|se w h o have c r o s s e d g i v e y o u spiritual to the o t h e r side); returiJj g u i d a n c e in y o i A d i f f l j b n t i a l c a l c u l u s a n d knitwear c o n s t r u c t i o n e x a m . S h a m e t h e y are really p o o r a t * e ! l x l f f ^ ^ ™ ^ T O r

Cancer (22/6 - 22/7) Alas, w i t h o u t love, life h a s n o p u r p o s e . D y e y o u r hair g r e e n , i t ^ R e p i r i K ^ t o c h is the n e w grey, w h i c h Is the n e w M t o w n ^ j p f n c h is the n e w black. If y o u ^ S m r ^ t o y r fingernails o r a n g e w i t h i <*ople w i ^ i r v o r s h i p y o u as a g o d of f a s h i o r ^ t e r t i p t a S ^ f f i ^ b e c o m e a viable o p t i o n a ga i n .

Leo (23/7 - 23/8) A l a s , the gerbil h a J r ^ m e T k d a n d b e c o m e a Wellington b o o t . T h « m a t r o a will g i v e y o u y o u r m e d i c i n e l a t e r j | j j d V > u w i l l be s p o o n - f e d c u s tard until y o u r G aJfreletubby. If y o u ' r e lucky, X e n a , W a W o ^ ' r i n B s s w i l l r e s c u e y o u , but as she does>»l#»<ist, t n j y s g g ^ i s unlikely. ;

Virgo (24/8 - 22/9) Alas, D i c k e n s , the s parkler of A l b i o n is not g o i n g to h e l p y o u w i n the C l e v e r e s t P e r s o n at Imperial C o l l e g e a w a r d , this will o n l y be p o s s i b l e t h r o u g h

c o

behaves. Following T o m ' s advice, ethical investment s o o n b e c o m e s as prudent as five card stud. M o r e o v e r , smaller c o m p a n i e s have significantly u n d e r p e r f o r m e d the t o p 100 c o m p a n i e s over the last few years. G i v e n the choice b e t w e e n shares in G l a x o or a tinpot m a c r a m e outfit, I k n o w w h e r e I'd r put m y c a s h . In ^ ("^ his quest to save ' ty^ the w o r l d f r o m c a p i t a l i s t r**j* e x p l o i t a t i o n by ) the W e s t (socialism a n d e n v i r o n mentalism are

never far apart), T o m forgets the S * — ^ " ethical q u e s t i o n f"+ of p l a y i n g fast and loose with the pensions of Britain's lecturers. If things w e n t spectacularly w r o n g , w e w o u l d all suffer. It is not acceptable to engage in gesture politics in this manner, a n d 1 h o p e that the U S S trustees see sense.

•

[The known slightest

editor that

- see

like it doesn't agree

buying l a r g e ^ f e k J T O f c g | K e v « o approaches y o u carrying a w d e b e M t m i l , vjearing a h e a d scarf a n d s p e a m g in f f n g ^ g f l P a r g e generally means gin. 1 * Libra (23/9 - 23/10) A l a s , too m a n y c o o k s s p o i l the b r o t h , s o stick t o P o t N o o d l e s a n d deJ|PSii||ed kebabs. Y o u r c u l i nary skills willjtgs4j|Pful to\(Qjyyjhis fortnight as the Emir of W a l e s enters y o u r h u m b l e d w e l l i n g d e m a n d i n g s u M M I M E P § W V Y l r r i a traditional A z t e c m e a l o r b o i l e d carrots ana S p a m . H e will never bother y o u a ga i n . l

horoscopes with Qeri "Ex-Spice Scorpio (24/10 - 22/1 1) A l a s , a w e e k of e x t r e m e t o r m e n t s e e m s likely. P o o r y o u . A l l e v h u e tha pain byJBfjtmg vast q u a n best. It might <U"WKY tities of pills not w o r k that weiTbuMt l e a W y o u w o n ' t be able to s t o p laughing. Trusf m e o n this o n e . a

Sagittarius (23/1 \ - 23/12) A l a s , this w e e k bftegs n c M R but h e a r t a c h e . Your better half, d ;® • i w h as C u d d l e s , will s p o n t a n e o u s l y j p i T O i f c o n T u e s d a y m o r n i n g at four a m , leaving y o u wjjth n o t h i n g but a s m a l l h e a p of a s h to take t o the Ball.

the

Elsewhere, w e have h a d the first C o n s e r v a t i v e reshuffle s i n c e the election, a n d it s e e m s to have been very sensible. Peter Lilley is more suited t o the d e p u t y leadership, where his policy-making skills will be u s e d to greatest effect. The p r o m o t i o n of A n n e W i d d e c o m b e to Shadow Health spokesman is inspired. A t the risk of stating the obvious, the w o m a n is terrifying. Frank D o b s o n m u s t be praying for Blair to reshuffle, because she will w i p e the floor with h i m . Frank, bless him, is not the sharpest tool in the box, a n d any reluctance to change jobs must have instantly evaporated. Finally, not o n e w e e k after I sang the praises of the recent A n t e R o o m e x h i b i t i o n N o w it a p p e a r s that s o m e t h i n g very w r o n g is occurring. The w i n d o w s have been covered w i t h B a c o f o i l a n d flashing lights have b e e n o b s e r v e d inside. I fear that s o m e p o o r soul feels this is art, but there are other explanations. Either Sherfield are beginning a prog r a m m e of m a s s hypnosis or w e ' v e got the builders in. If this is the case, I apologise.

Capricorn (24/12 - 20/1) A l a s , y o u r finances are in a n w e e k . This c o u l d be d u e t o j ing w h a t e v e r r e m a i n s large a m o u n t s of y o u r l a n d l o r d ' s job i y o u r s e l f o v e r the staS kitchen.

p a l l i n g state this abit of s p e n d ant or l o a n o n ;routing. This is o not c o n c e r n holes in y o u r

Aquarius (21/1 - 18/2) A l a s , m o r n i n g has b r o k e n , like the first m o r n i n g , a n d that b l o o d y b l a c k b i r d has left a fresh d r o p p i n g o n y o u r p i l l o w . D o not leave y o u r w i n d o w o p e n all night GuJnea pi<*s c a n oft. i b l a c k b i r d s , as t h f t ^ c o m e h u g e t i g i f v i n g b i r d eaters at night a . f d ^ ^ m * C a t h e r y things w i t h o u t r e m o r s e . N o t a lot of p e o p l e k n o w that. M

Pisces (19/2 - 20/3) A l a s , fishface, y o u at the ever i n c r e a s i n g torture d o e s here, a n d that t h e r e is i n d e e d m o r e ie. H a v e y o u ever c o n s i d e r e d changin^ of d e o d o r ant? There are many? w h i c h cater for y o u r o w n particular b o d i l y o d o u r .

Aries (21/3 - 20/4) A l a s , G u i n n e s s dotff ; r o r ^ F g o ^ o r y o u , as it p o u r e d into y m i r u n d nts b y W o u r s m a l l hairy b a d g e r s . Resist t h e | m p t a t i o n t o force f e e d y o u r f l a t m a t e s s l u g s o fie a n d Bailey's a n d M a r t i n i . T h e y d i d not p a y | badger s in w o r m s to torment y o u and make ur life hell, I d i d .

e 8

COLUMNS

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY : this

n contains the word "Bros'

The recent e a r t h q u a k e in n o r t h e r n

entrance

were

other's c o m p a n y , G e r i is as s i c k of

limit, as

A f g h a n i s t a n w a s a terrible natural

three c o l u m n i n c h e s a b o u t a cer-

see

Scream

the sight of the rest of t h e m as a lot

c o r p o r a t i o n s l o n g e d for a g r i n n i n g

of us s e e m t o be.

c h e e k y f a c e o n t h e front of their

blight: a p l a g u e of Biblical p r o p o r -

tain m i n o r e a r t h q u a k e

tions, tragically killing a p p r o x i m a t e -

in s o m e

ly five t h o u s a n d p e o p l e a n d injuring

pages about Ginger Spice.

many others. W e d o not even have

somewhere

p o o r c o u n t r y . A n d three

H a v i n g s a i d all that, credit m u s t go to t h e m

W h e n y o u consider the m u c h -

for g o i n g for

American

d i n o s a u r s O a s i s , w h o are still large-

long, a n d t h e y s e e m e d

bills... W h e r e d o y o u r e c k o n this

ly intact, a n d t h e n c o m p a r e it t o

that

piece

the

literally g r o u n d - s h a k i n g

rock

split u p , t h e y

s u c h a c a n n e d p o p delight is n o t

a n c e c o m p a n i e s will be p a y i n g t h e

Bros selves

publicised

getting

much

realise

money

and more

the

Spice

serious

found them-

E x p r e s s : w h e n G e r i left Girls, t h e y w e r e w o r t h

t e n s o f m i l l i o n s of p o u n d s

p o s s i b l e in as short a s p a c e of t i m e

Incidentally, C r a i g L o g a n ,

self-

P o s h , G i n g e r , Scary, Baby, S p o r t y

as p o s s i b l e w a s the w a y f o r w a r d .

bassist,

r e s p e c t i n g n e w s p a p e r ? Front p a g e

a n d T u r m e r i c , y o u w o u l d be forgiv-

Look

last

n e w s s h o u l d e n d u p in a n y headline, tabloids

perchance?

Well,

didn't think s o .

the

fact,

for

t h i n k i n g that

Girl

Power

w o u l d live forever. This w a s a l m o s t

laughable

teen

legends

was

B r o s : p r o b a b l y just as m u c h of a

N e n e h C h e r r y , w h i l e t h e other t w o are still d e s p e r a t e l y trying t o m a k e

the

Spices.

The

their fantastic

comeback

believable, g i v e n that the Fab Five

d i f f e r e n c e lay in their a t t i t u d e

w e r e o n e of the f e w m a n u f a c t u r e d

the m e d i a . B r o s didn't b o t h e r m u c h

They

o n e t o five - H o d d l e ' s e x p u l s i o n of

b a n d s t o actually w o r k their s o c k s

w i t h it, a l t h o u g h s p o n s o r s h i p d e a l s

m o n e y by s i g n i n g o n .

Paul G a s c o i g n e (bring o n O w e n , I

off. S i n c e their c h a r t - t o p p i n g b e g i n -

with

say); t w o f u l l - p a g e p r o m o t i o n s ; a

ning

flogging

page 3 girl g e n e r o u s l y s h o w i n g her

have

rear t o the w o r l d ; a f u l l - p a g e a d ;

you

t h e n s t u c k b e t w e e n a n article a b o u t

deals;

a m a n w h o w a n t e d to get married

appearances.

in p r i s o n a n d a b a n a l p i e c e

down

about

s o m e o n e w h o m a n a g e d t o g e t free

been like

everywhere,

it or

two to

their

not:

They

whether

sponsorship

albums;

artistic

faces

put

television the

differences,

split but

p e r h a p s after all this t i m e in e a c h

move;

managing

phenomenon

ular t a b l o i d ran as f o l l o w s : p a g e s

Wannabe,

each.

ex-Bros

m a d e the sensible heard

M o n d a y ' s e d i t i o n of a c e r t a i n p o p -

with

trouble

career

relatively strife-free

greedy

latest line of t o e n a i l c l i p p e r s . W h e n

H i s t o r y suggests that t h e lifetime of

the c o m f o r t of k n o w i n g that insur-

bickering

broke.

second-hand

will

probably

records.

make

shops

S o if t h e next b i g t e e n t h i n g are

contracts

r e a d i n g this ( a d m i t t e d l y not likely,

w i t h G r o l s c h , or, m o r e likely, agree-

unless t h e C a l c u l u s B o y s are s i g n -

ments

clothes

r i p p e d jeans, with

hydrogen

peroxide

m a n u f a c t u r e r s , w o u l d all h a v e b e e n vaguely p o s s i b l e .

Conversely,

n u m b e r of S p i c e - s p o n s o r e d

the

ing as w e s p e a k ) , r e m e m b e r

that

y o u r fans will be d i s t r e s s i n g l y fickle. O n e day, probably sooner than y o u

prod-

think, t h e y will g r o w u p .

ucts e x p a n d e d s e e m i n g l y w i t h o u t

Ali

¡¢£¤¥¦¦

Woter Salads

g o t g o o d results w i t h any o l d b o w l a n d a m e t a l

s p o t l e s s l y c l e a n a n d d r y . A p o s s i b l y u s e f u l trick

season

t a b l e s p o o n . N e x t , d r i z z l e a s m a l l a m o u n t of o i l

is t o m a k e sure all t h e i n g r e d i e n t s a n d the b o w l

I'm c a r r y i n g o n w i t h m y s u m m e r t h e m e . This

(say a b o u t 1 c c for the scientific a m o n g s t you)

are at t h e s a m e

t i m e I'm l o o k i n g at t h e d e l i c a t e a n d o f t e n c o n -

and

stir this into the m u s t a r d until it is c o m -

c r a c k an e g g a n d s e p a r a t e the y o l k , r e m o v i n g as m u c h of t h e w h i t e as p o s s i b l e . P l o n k the yolk

Despite the usual p o s t - M a y m o n s o o n

o n m a y things:

potato,

couscous

lettuce,

(see

temperature.

Gently

pletely i n c o r p o r a t e d . T h e n a d d a little m o r e o i l ,

tomato,

rice,

stir, m o r e o i l , stir, m o r e o i l etc. It is essential

into t h e b o w l , a d d a s m a l l t a b l e s p o o n of m u s -

1115)

etc.

that t h e o i l is fully e m u l s i f i e d e a c h t i m e be f o r e

t a r d a n d m i x t o g e t h e r w e l l . T h e p r o c e s s is basi-

troversial t o p i c of s a l a d s . N o w s a l a d s c a n based

(room)

Felix

H o w e v e r , t h e y m u s t be fresh a n d t h e i n g r e d i -

cally t h e s a m e as for f r e n c h d r e s s i n g , m i x i n g in

ents M U S T be of t o p q u a l i t y b e c a u s e t h a t ' s

the o i l d r o p by d r o p a n d m a k i n g sure it is c o m pletely m i x e d in b e f o r e a d d i n g any m o r e until

where the taste c o m e s f r o m .

y o u have a fairly s u b s t a n t i a l a m o u n t of m a y o n -

So, e x p e r i m e n t , m i x a n d m a t c h a n d r e m e m iceberg

naise at w h i c h p o i n t y o u c a n start a d d i n g the oil

(which in m y h u m b l e o p i n i o n has t o be t h e m o s t

in m o r e rapid ly. O n e e g g y o l k is e n o u g h for

ber that lettuc e

does

n o t just m e a n

that

a r o u n d 2 0 0 m l of o i l s o d o n ' t be s h y . Y o u k n o w

I've ever c o m e a c r o s s ) . T h e r e are d o z e n s if n o t

t h e m a y o n n a i s e is r e a d y w h e n y o u c a n m a k e it

u n i n t e r e s t i n g s o r r y e x c u s e for a v e g e t a b l e

h u n d r e d s of different l e t t u c e s e v e n if y o u c a n ' t

into s h a r p p e a k s by p u l l i n g t h e s p o o n o u t . S t o p

get t h e m all in t h e s u p e r m a r k e t . C o s , c h i c o r y ,

a d d i n g o i l a n d m i x i n g at this p o i n t . It's usually a

round,

g o o d idea to add something acidic to a mayon-

frisee,

oakleaf,

red

oakleaf,

scarolle,

naise just t o c o u n t e r b a l a n c e all that g r e a s e . A

cress a n d I c o u l d g o o n . T h e y ' r e all available over here a n d t h e y ' r e all e x c e l l e n t .

Typical IC student, meet lettuce. Lettuce, you are no longer safe.

T o h e l p ali this g r e e n e r y g o d o w n a n d a l s o

c o u p l e of tbl of vinega r or l e m o n juice s h o u l d d o t h e trick

t o c o m p l e m e n t the s i m p l e u n c o o k e d v e g e t a b l e you

a s a l a d . I'll g o t h r o u g h t h e i n s t r u c t i o n s for the

later. O n c e y o u have u s e d the e q u i v a l e n t of 2

two

c o m m o n a n d t h e n a s h o r t bit o n

tbl o i l y o u c a n p o u r the rest of it in m o r e r a p i d -

p o t a t o s a l a d w h i c h is far t o o s i m p l e a n d tasty t o

ly but k e e p stirring v i g o r o u s l y . Y o u ' l l n e e d t o use

m e r i n g w a t e r until just t e n d e r . Finely c h o p a

miss out.

a t o t a l of a r o u n d 6 t a b l e s p o o n s of o i l (i.e.

shallot a n d slice a stick of celery. Put all the

parts o i l t o 1 part m u s t a r d to 1 part vinegar) but

a b o v e in a large b o w l , s p r i n k l e g e n e r o u s l y w i t h

French Dressing

ta s t e the d r e s s i n g w h e n y o u ' v e f i n i s h e d a n d

salt a n d g r o u n d p e p p e r , a d d 4 - 5 tbl of olive oil

adjust the s e a s o n i n g as they say.

and m i x w e l l .

Mayonnaise

D e a r m e , the stress of t h e s e r e c i p e s !

most

Put

1 level t a b l e s p o o n f u l of s m o o t h f r e n c h

m u s t a r d , preferably f r o m D i j o n , a n d t h e

a d d any m o r e or it will just s e p a r a t e o u t

Potato Salad

tastes, it's u s u a l t o a d d s o m e sort of d r e s s i n g t o

W a s h but d o not p e a l 2 lb n e w

potatoes.

Cut t h e m into b i t e s i z e p i e c e s a n d c o o k in s i m -

same

a m o u n t of w i n e vinega r into y o u r s a l a d b o w l . A d d s o m e freshly g r o u n d p e p p e r a n d a p i n c h of

For this o n e the state of the b o w l IS i m p o r -

salt. M i x t h e s e u p t h o r o u g h l y c r u s h i n g t h e salt

tant. I like u s i n g a c e r a m i c o n e b e c a u s e there is

s o it d i s s o l v e s . T h e r e ' s a lot of blah a b o u t o n l y

a lot of stirring t o be d o n e a n d a g o o d thick

using a w o o d e n b o w l a n d s p o o n but I've a l w a y s

b o w l w o n ' t m o v e a r o u n d t o o m u c h . It m u s t be

Antoine

IMPERIAL CO LLE G E UNION DRAMATIC SOCIETY PRESENTS

CHORUS OF DISAPPROVAL •

By Alan Ayckbourn

PERFORMANCE BEGINS 7.30PM UNION

D T I C K E T S

£7 / £5 A V A I L A B L E

FROM

CONCERT

HALL

CONCESSIONS

UNION

O F F I C E

¬¬ § ¨ ©ªe « 8

MUSIC

ALBUMS

808 STATE

MIDGET

® ¯° ±²

88:98 • • •

irst

there

w a s A s h , then

Symposium and now Midget. H e r e w e have a n o t h e r

cally

cheeky

typi-

a n d chirpy

indie

band, following the footsteps of many

before

them.

Midget, a

b a n d m a d e u p o f thre e p r e - p u b e s c e n t t e e n a g e r s h a v e b r o u g h t forth their d e b u t a l b u m , but have y o u heard of them? as

S u r p r i s i n g if not,

d u r i n g t h e last

year

they've

m a n a g e d t o put out around seven singles.

èéêë

Their latest single, The Day Of Life

is s e t

hit t h e

charts

with the force of a marshmallow, it's n o t b a d . It's just

but

o, I ' m s e v e n t e e n a g a i n , reeling

from too much alcohol,

too

many

bodies

pressing

c l o s e t o m e , s w e a t d r i p p i n g into my

e y e s . T r y i n g t o w o r k o u t this

808

State w e r e . W h i l e s w e e p i n g

through they

musical

were

border

a succession

duce

that e v e r y o n e l o v e d .

shapes

cause

up t o t h e s t a n d a r d o f h e r regular

the m a r k e t that is barely visible.

outfit. O n e d o e s g e t t h e i m p r e s -

Like their p e e r s , M i d g e t

sion

have t w o m o d e s . L o u d a n d p a c e y

½¾¿ÀÁÂ

o f floor-fillers w i t h its

ÃÄ¶·ÅÀÆ

of t h e m

cashing

cachet associated moved

render

808

seizure.

Decide

in m y

eases your head open a n d smoth-

recently

acquired

o n sufficiently State

somewhat

obsolete.

shoes

ers t h e s y n a p s e s in G o l d e n S y r u p .

a n d take u p k n i t t i n g i n s t e a d . A n d

´µ¶·¸

O f c o u r s e , their p o i n t is n o t that

s e n t e d w i t h In Yer Face

The Only That Bites. C h e e s y w e s t e r n s a m p l e (dunno w h i c h o n e , d o n ' t care) pulling a rictus grin a r o u n d m y face, feet finally a c h i e v i n g s o m e level of synchrony, the boy b e c o m e s a g o d . A t least, t h a t ' s h o w I r e m e m b e r it.

t h e y ' r e b a c k t o r e h a s h t h e o l d hits,

and

but t o p r o v e that they never really

most

w e n t a w a y , as t h e latter half o f t h e

Who

album confirms.

w h e n t h e y ' v e g o t a s t r i n g of s u c h

then, a n d then....

¹º¹»¼¹

W i t h o u t w a l l o w i n g in n o s t a l g i a too

much,

is a

timely

r e m i n d e r o f just h o w b l o o d y g o o d

A p l e t h o r a o f c o l l a b o r a t i o n s are present,

from the laid-back Lopez

But this m a t t e r s little w h e n p r e -

daft

ÇÈ ¾ÉÊÂ

Bjork

outing,

Pacific

State,

( w h i c h is),

featuring

memorable

oboe

riff

the

ever.

c a r e s if t h e y ' r e still 'relevant'

unarguably brilliant t u n e s t o their name.

(with j a m e s D e a n Bradfield) t o t h e predictably

or a c o u s t i c a n d c h e e k y . This c o n b e s t s o n g s o f t h e a l b u m , The One

mately

is p u r e t e c h n o c l a s s w h i l e

dancing

with being pio-

Now,

where

d i d I put those

ËÌÍÎ

w h i t e g l o v e s ? A a a a h , s o r t e d . CI

Ooops. Particularly g o o d is which features the s w o o n s o m e vocal talents of Louise Rhodes

ìíîïð

Who

Save

Me a n d

Canada.

Canada rips t h r o u g h t h e verses c o m i n g t o a climax before slowing d o w n to a chorus delivered with the s o f t n e s s o f t h e l e a d singer of C a t c h . T h e y try t o tell y o u that they're y o u n g a n d o u t for a laugh, their lyrics t a l k i n g o f u n i m p o r t a n t things s u c h as a l c o p o p s a n d invisible b a l l o o n s . Y o u can't really fault t h e a l b u m for

musical

content,

lack o f originality.

e x c e p t for

They have t h e

'we're y o u n g a n d w a n t t o m o s h ' m o o d s of S y m p o s i u m , combined with

HEADSWIM

the

quirky

and youthful

approach

of Catch.

emerged

t w o years

w o u l d have b e e n

ÑÒÓÔÕf

seem to

trast c a n clearly b e s e e n in t h e t w o

angular m e l o d y a n d c l i p p e d beats

turn

in o n t h e

neers o f a g e n r e w h i c h has ulti-

p a s s e r - b y t o e n q u i r e if I ' m h a v i n g a to

concerned

check-

p o i n t s , t h e y still m a n a g e d t o p r o -

' d a n c i n g ' lark, t h r o w i n g m y s e l f into that

M i d g e t a r e f i g h t i n g for a hole in

boundaries

Swiss

that

f r o m L a m b , a l t h o u g h it's n o t q u i t e

H a d they ago,

they

s e e n as fresh,

but u n f o r t u n a t e l y they haven't, s o

Despite ÏÐ

• •••

all they c a n rely u p o n is that t h e y o u t h o f t o d a y have t h e m o n e y

little

known

fact

about

wonderful

refreshing

feeling for

p a s s i o n . Interestingly it is t h e m o r e

ßµàáâã

H e a d s w i m is that t h e y start-

t h o s e of us w h o o c c a s i o n a l l y

e d life as a d o d g y m e t a l o u t -

like p u n c h i n g l a n B r o u d i e in the

c h o r d , n a m e l y Holy

face.

the o n l y b a d track o n t h e a l b u m

fit c o m p l e t e w i t h l o n g hair a n d tight

trousers. W h a t h a p p e n e d , t h e n , t o initiate s u c h a d r a s t i c

change of

feel

The p o w e r in t h e m u s i c c o m e s f r o m a c o m b i n a t i o n of t h e extraor-

upbeat tracks w h i c h fail t o strike a

which

flies

by a n d l e a v e s

R e v i e w s are g i v e n a m a r k o u t o f

dinary voice of Daniel

of v o c a l i s t

( s o u n d i n g similar t o Sting, o n l y bet-

superb

ter)

h o p e f u l l y c a u s e Joe p u b l i c t o w a k e

Daniel Glendining ' w e

wrote s o m e songs'.

T h e s o n g s in

a n d t h e harsh but ultimately

q u e s t i o n are all p a c k e d w i t h a r a w

beautiful, m e l o d i o u s g u i t a r i n g c o u r -

emotion

the

tesy of Daniel a n d the

likes of R a d i o h e a d , w h o are o b v i -

m o n i k e r e d C l o v i s Taylor.

not heard

Ö×ØÙÚÛÜ ØÝÞ

of since

o u s influences. T h e t w o singles s o far,

and

Better

Made,

strangely

The a l b u m is p o p u l a t e d by a

w e r e strangely i g n o r e d by t h e s i n -

one

d e p r e s s i o n ; Wishing

r e f l e c t i n g v a r i o u s a s p e c t s of I was Naive

gracing the bottom e n d of the t o p

e m o t i o n I think w e all have

forty.

times;

This

album

definitely

d e s e r v e s t o d o better. Headswim

are a m o n g s t

and

the

n e w set o f b a n d s t o u t i n g m i s e r y as the

m o o d o f t h e late n i n e t i e s ,

Clinging

the

really

debut

smell

Headswim

album

the

roses

absolutely

five as f o l l o w s . . .

will

which and

send

to the stardom

they

Drinking Beer BBQs

d e s e r v e . H e a d s w i m are t h e p e r f e c t

series o f dark h a u n t i n g s o n g s e a c h

gles b u y i n g p u b l i c , b o t h o n l y briefly

up,

someWreckage

t h e a c h i n g l y brilliant finale Brother as w e l l as t h e a f o r e m e n t i o n e d singles are definite s t a n d o u t tracks, e a c h o n e d r i p p i n g w i t h

½à·Å ¾â¸É

a n t i d o t e for t h o s e w h o have t i r e d of OK

little

m u s i c a n d style? W e l l in t h e w o r d s

This

David

like t h i s . CI

This is

impression.

Glendining

and time t o follow o n e more band

need another

Sunshine

and desperately dose of depression

Holidays

t o r e m i n d t h e m of just h o w b a d this term can get. Finally I'd like t o t h a n k

Lazing around Dave

H e l l a r d for c o n s i s t e n t l y h a n d i n g his reviews in late a n d t h e r e f o r e for-

äåæç

feiting this a l b u m . C h e e r s D a v e .

No Stars

Exams

ĂśĂś Ăą Ă˛ ĂłĂ´e Ăľ 8

MUSIC

10 ALBUMS

PEACH

Ăˇ Ă¸ĂšĂşĂťĂźĂ˝ĂžĂż

t's s u m m e r

TRICKY

Angels with Dirty Faces

a n d the

mosqui-

t o e s are o u t in f o r c e ,

congre-

g a t i n g u n d e r trees a n d lying in

fter listening t o this, 1 w a s

Singin'

a s t o n i s h e d by b o t h the level

It, q u i t e literally, sings t h e

of brilliance a n d of t h e s h e e r

Tricky's

The

female

is m y

favourite.

singing

blues.

partner,

c r a p n e s s that this a l b u m m a n a g e d

Martina,

d e n t s w h o w a n t t o listen t o their

to achieve.

I've never b e e n a fan of

b a c k i n g a n d it is s u p e r b - it has to

bran d n e w C D s in the g l o r i o u s o u t -

the

but

be h e a r d t o be b e l i e v e d .

d o o r s , instead of in the stuffy, s u b -

a l w a y s p r o v i d e d m e w i t h t w o or

tropical

three

wait for bare a r m s a n d lazy s t u -

heat of their

bedrooms.

man,

choice

his

albums

cuts.

have

This

time

features

over

funky

Broken

f e a t u r e s t h e talents of P. J.

Harvey o n vocals.

T he result is

a r o u n d the s a i d c h o i c e cuts are of

a l b u m in m y s l e e p . I s t a r t e d listen-

what to expect.

ing t o it at e l e v e n o'clock o n Friday

Angels

night, a n d by four a m S a t u r d a y 1

u n s u r e a b o u t its a c t u a l c o n t e n t .

was

an a l b u m , it s o m e h o w m a n a g e s t o

O n the I Feared, Tricky covers Slick Rick a n d t h e q u e s t i o n is, s i m ply, w h y ? This is a w f u l a n d s h o u l d Carriage have b e e n left w e l l a l o n e . For Two p o p s u p half w a y t h r o u g h t h e t h e a l b u m a n d is very o d d . It is v e r y s l o w a n d has t h o s e great w h i s p e r e d v o c a l s that c r e a t e a f e e l i n g of real d a r k n e s s in the s o n g . Throughout the song, Martina Billie sings the verse from

s u m m e r y , s o r t - o f sexy m u s i c p r o -

g o from one end of

Holliday's

d u c e d by the s t r o n g f e m a l e f r o n t e d

t o t h e o t h e r - w i t h m o s t of it at t h e

and,

dreadful e n d .

c o m e s off w e l l .

That

said,

this

exceptionally

time

stressful

year

for

real quality but the

every-

o n e . I've h a d a terrible lab c o u r s e , a

really

lot of w r i t e - u p s t o fake a n d w h o l e

Unless

amount

course.

revision

plough

through, as w e l l as the d a y job, a n d so

I decided

Path

practise

A n a l y s i s by

hooked

the

Lisa L a mb

th i s

listening a

real

time.

fan,

Tricky with his new Marilyn Monroe wig.

perfect

a c c o m p a n i m e n t t o revision a n d lab

With

Mellow

After listening to

Dirty

Faces,

I'm

still

the s p e c t r u m

Bless

The

Child

this m a y s o u n d strange,

kicks t h e a l b u m off w i t h

1 w a s indifferent t o this as an

a w i c k e d b a c k i n g but it is r u i n e d by

a l b u m . If y o u are a fan t h e n y o u ' v e

Tricky s i n g i n g in a strange

high-

p r o b a b l y a l r e a d y g o t it but if y o u

p i t c h e d v o i c e ; o n c e he returns t o

aren't,

his usual w h i s p e r i n g / r a p p i n g p e r -

L e a v e this a l b u m a l o n e .

sona,

the

track

respectability.

reports, a n d I've h a d t h e

a bigger star n o w ) I d i d n ' t k n o w

electronic,

is t h e

are

l o n g that his o w n uncle is p r o b a b l y

b a n d P e a c h . W i t h her slightly flat voice,

the

you

not

A f t e r s u c h a l o n g t i m e a w a y (so

Critical

reviewing

worth

rest are

eerie but w o r k s q u i t e w e l l .

salvages The

t h e n just buy t h e

singles.

some track,

CD on

Milen

l o o p all d a y . The m u s i c is e x t r e m e -

Fat Boy Slim -

ly p o p p y a n d m a k e s m e w a n t t o

A l t h o u g h this s o n g is a t a d repetitive, it breaks u p the

put o n m y s i x - i n c h p l a t f o r m s h o e s

m o n o t o n y by s i m p l y s l o w i n g it right d o w n a n d t h e n

and start d a n c i n g . I k n o w that this

bringing back the t e m p o . This pretty w i c k e d track is let

is a b a d i d e a , as I will fall a n d break

d o w n by its c o n t i n u o u s r e p e t i t i o n s .

Gomez -

m y leg, but there's s o m e t h i n g in the m u s i c that just m a k e s m e s m i l e like

Audioweb -

It s o u n d s like A u d i o w e b have d e c i d e d t o release a half

idiot. It m u s t

be that

all t h e

songs are e x t r e m e l y u n c h a l l e n g i n g ,

hearted attempt

w i t h o u t any real m e a n i n g or d e e p

m a s s i v e d i s a p p o i n t m e n t after the blistering assault of

feeling. A t heart, this a l b u m is h o l -

at a s t r i n g s - b a c k e d e p i c . This is a

Skank.

low. But, w h o cares? It's s u m m e r , the sun is s h i n i n g a n d I'm t i r e d of

Arnold -

angst-ridden, male-orientated, gui-

This is a feeble , b o r i n g a n d b l a n d guitar s t r u m m i n g

tar-led m u s i c for naval g a z e r s . This

joke. T he single c o v e r just a b o u t s u m s the s o n g u p ,

a l b u m has a light, frothy l e m o n -

w i t h a patheticall y d r a w n p h o n e . W h y ?

m o u s s e , s u m m e r y , sugary flavour, and

I think it's great, in a slightly

naff a n d tacky w a y . I really, really w a n t e d t o slate this C D . T he c o v e r modern,

shouts

pre-millennium

cream

This is bluesy a n d l a i d b a c k w h i c h is basically the r e c i p e

It s t a r t e d off w i t h a p r o m i s i n g latin beat but e n d e d u p

for t h e perfect s u m m e r s o n g . W h a t is it w i t h

t u r n i n g into a h y b r i d of p o p a n d s o u l that just g r a t e s

n o w a d a y s , g l o r i f y i n g c r i m i n a l b e h a v i o u r . W h a t will be

after a c o u p l e of listens.

next?

Cartoon -

Ether -

bands

pseudo-

art at y o u , w i t h its tasteful and

post-

Quest -

photographs.

orange The

Isn't this s u c h a c l i c h e d title for an indie s o n g ? W e l l

P o p is the o n l y w o r d t o d e s c r i b e this. Y o u get carried

songs are very sub-St Etienne E u r o -

d o n ' t be s u r p r i s e d b e c a u s e it is a n indie s o n g but a

a l o n g w i t h the c h e e r f u l n e s s of it all as m u c h as y o u try

P o p but w i t h o u t the satirical e d g e .

pretty m e d i o c r e o n e at that. 'Drift

t o resist. S o u n d i n g like a m u t a t i o n b e t w e e n

The single, On

fade

Own, s o u n d s like G i n a G c o v e r e d by a b u n c h of half-witted school-children...and yet, as a w h o l e , the a l b u m is g o o d . Like the Spice Girls and Bananarama, Peach grows on y o u . Sorry. E]

Rabbit

away

on the ocean

and

' Y e a h , fade right o u t of m y s t e r e o .

Squeeze

and W h a m c a n ' t be a g o o d t h i n g , but it w o n ' t s t o p y o u s i n g i n g a l o n g t o it.

Insane Clown Posse -

# $% & $% ' $% #

Are this lot m e a n t t o be a c o m e d y v e r s i o n of C y p r e s s

Pulp -

Hill.

This is Back

is w h a t y o u get for the c h o -

rus p l u s a cringe w o r h t y fairground s a m p l e . S a v e it for Halloween guys.

( )

For Take That w a n n a b e s ?

isn't it? A r e Pulp t u r n i n g into d

// * + ,-e . 8

MUSIC

THA B O M B I Yeah, y e a h w e back, its back, after

Easter

also

w e e k s of c h i l l i n ' 1 t h o u g h t it a b o u t

s a w the release

time t o hit y a w i t h a d o s e of T h a

Bomb and bring everyone back up

Franklin's set,

t o date w i t h all t h e h a p p e n i n g s in

the

the w o r l d of street s o u l .

returned

\ 1 71

Wlicit S

...

The

c\ll!

after a huge

and

are give

012345

s u p p o r t for their

Aretha original q u e e n

Tribe

c o m i n g to

in w h a t

hiatus

soul

has

style.

The

n e w a l b u m A Love

due

finished

his

new

R u m o u r has it is

h a r d at w o r k o n m a t e r i a l for a certain M . Jackson.

o u t o n 14 July. Public

work

a l b u m VIP.

This w e e k ' s single releases see

Enemy

(remember

s o m e of the biggest n a m e s in hip h o p a n d R n B r e l e a s i n g t o p tunes,

a l b u m n a m e A Rose is Still A Rose

t h e m ? ) haven't r e l e a s e d a n a l b u m

Knight

is q u i t e fitting s i n c e this lady can

for s o m e t i m e , a n d s u d d e n l y w e r e

but ' c o s of t h e s p a c e c o n s t r a i n t i'll

Rider s a m p l i n g Fire It Up d i d s o m e

still c l a i m t o be a m o n g s t the best, if

g e t t i n g t w o in o n e y e a r

tell y a all a b o u t it next w e e k . S h o u t

serious d a m a g e in the t o p half of

n o t the best. T he title track f r o m

as I'm c o n c e r n e d it's all g o o d ! The

the t o p t e n . B u s t a w a s flavour of

the a l b u m is the killer cut, but the

first release strictly s p e a k i n g isn't a

the m o n t h a p p e a r e d o n n u m e r o u s

rest is still a c l a s s

s h o w s i n c l u d i n g T o p of t h e

act.

I s a i d fire it u p ! T he Easter break was

huge

for

Busta,

the

Pops

and, strangely, TFI Friday. T h e n the boy

went

Tottenham up.

The

Temple

and r i p p e d the

place

People w h o were there

that W e s t w o o d ' s p l a c e will

say

never

During the

6789:

album

Easter

Gangstarr 012345 o, its

album.

release

o u t s t o all t h o s e w h o m a t t e r !

Milen

Rather,

the

soundtrack

the

Spike

Cot

seeing

dropped

Before

as far

;<23=

West Coast

Lee all

but

the

released

l o n g last,

alongside

The Chronic, < the T u p ^ c j o i n ' , Daz DUhiser. Iii* • into the h i p harts at n u m b e r t w o ,

only

caught o n e cut f r o m

h o p alb''-,

The beef s t a r t e d w h e n L L c h a n g e d

y e a r a n d after part-

it, the title track

ing

>?@ A<23

o n l y be 1

4,3,2,1 and a d d e d a c u s s o n C a n i b u s into his o w n v e r s e . C a n i b u s d i d n ' t sit back, this boy bit b a c k a n d r i p p e d LL t o shreds w i t h the b a n g i n g 2nd but LL g o t off t h e c a n v a s and has c o m e b a c k w i t h his retalation cut The Ripper Strikes Back. In Ripper LL has a g o at C a n i b u s a n d W y c l e f (reportedly the n e w m a n a g er of C a n i b u s ) , c u s s i n g t h e latter was probably a mistake 'cos n o w he has b o t h g u n n i n g for h i m a n d W y c l e f has just f i n i s h e d his retaliation cut What 'Clef to Do With W i n n e r ? L L ' s g o t h i s t o r y , but C a n i b u s is t h e r a w e s t rapper a r o u n d , he g o t t h e skillz. Canibus's

verse

B1D4L

MNOPQORST

A15

U5VH

this

with

earned

cash

1 think it

rates as a PE a l b u m .

the

Personally

hard I gotta

say

they

I've

and

He boy

this is h e a d n o d d i n g i n f e c t i o u s

w e r e n ' t w r o n g . This a l b u m is g o n n a

hell - this is a t u n e ! The rest of t h e

feature in t h e t o p five of e v e r y o n e ' s

a l b u m I'm t o l d kicks it e q u a l l y h a r d

hip

and

h o p hit list of that I have

doubt,

favourite t u n e is the Royalty, featuring K - C i a n d Jojo f r o m J o d e c i ; DJ P r e m i e r lays d o w n a w i c k e d m e l o d y , J o d e c i b o y s d o their t h i n g a n d G u r u , w e l l G u r u d o e s w h a t he d o e s best. Royalty has n't g o t a release date y e t , but w h e n it d o e s y o u better r e c o g n i z e , c a u s e Gangstarr are the kings. If you wanna check G a n g s t a r r for y o u r s e l f t h e y are c o m i n g t o E n g l a n d as s u p p o r t for A Tribe C a l l e d Q u e s t o n July 16th. stunning

features m a n y g u e s t

ances, most

have

Enemy

hip h o p set of t h e

and

about

Row

tracks are by Public

LL are d o i n g just that, its o n !

most were chattin'

I s a i d fire it u p . A n d C a n i b u s

Death

an a l b u m w o r t h y t o sit-

Dopigystyk: x'luri.ftsy album

see a s h o w like that a g a i n .

Update

film

appear-

n o t a b l y f r o m ICRS-1.

PE's s e c o n d release for t h e y e a r will be their a l b u m (as o p p o s e d t o the s o u n d t r a c k w h i c h has PE o n every

B3CDEE3F5G14H

the

1 '

T he B35Ge G<<44

album.

A35

album's

r.slled

Revenge and Back. This g e t s back to • •' • st flava a n d it has s o m e great tracks o n it (even Tupac makes an a p p e a r e r . e e o n o n e ) . T he latest tumour' 1 • ituanon are that he has s k eal w i t h 1

track but isn't a really a PE album)

M a s t e r P's i "

called

I haven't heard

' h e t o p spot

Gangstarr

undi

i •

• >rds fot 1 of

money

a t h i n g a b o u t it or f r o m it a n d d o n ' t

a n d w o r d has it that M a s t e r P has

really k n o w w h a t t o say, s o I'm n o t

g o n e in:

g o n n a say shit.

death

the

future a l b u m front,

I2JEK<=

n e w a l b u m is d u e f r o m called

g ' c o s he has had

against h i m

Maxwell

after t h e first this

threats

(row?)

issued nay stili

reach.

has alot t o live u p t o . R. Kelly has

Y O U ' R E R E A D I N G ICRADIOIII

F122G5533V A WXYZ[ of D4\G]]G4^= picked _`ab the D4cG5= D443F3CC<EKHd - R i c h a r d

' What is a the to do the Harkness.

masters

The Sianide

&. D e s i r e ,

mixing,

will

Thursday @ 1 0 p m

up on

in P r o m o

City.

P l a y i n g the v e r y latest d a n c e m u s i c

W e l l as this y e a r d r a w s (on a

in an urban style.

joint) t o a n e n d , I think it is o n l y fit-

Remember

ther e are still slots

ting that w e c o n g r a t u l a t e in a m u t u -

free e v e r y d a y (just) s o if y o u w a n t a

al b r o w n n o s a t h o n

go, come

all t h o s e w h o

have h e l p e d t o t r a n s f o r m t h e

sta-

d o w n , join u p , roll u p ,

and p l a y us a t u n e .

tion into o n e w h i c h kicks m o r e butt

Plus N E W for N e x t Year - IC

than Beavis' f o o t .

R a d i o v i a t h e Internet in C D - q u a l i t y

R e s p e c t g o e s o u t t o Jon C r a b b

s o u n d , 24hours a day, 365 days a

for m a k i n g this p a g e (he's a w a s p

year.

and salivates p a p e r ... really), R o s s

O n a m o r e s e r i o u s n o t e , there

for g e t t i n g DJ H u r r i c a n e in t h e s t u -

is a R E W A R D

d i o s , John C for all the g i g s , G a r e t h

K e n n y G r e e n ' s stilts (the o n e s w i t h

for p a i n t i n g the B a c k R o o m a d e e p lilac, N e e l for u s i n g t h e studio

than

recording

ever

Kenny driving a Union minibus (he's under the dog in a "I was controlling the pedals" position). Allegedly.

before,

if y o u have

found

the c o n c e a l e d cigar c o m p a r t m e n t ) . If y o u h a v e , t h e n p l e a s e h a n d t h e m in at the r a d i o s t a t i o n or t o s e c u r i -

Kenny for b e i n g a m u s i n g a n d t o t h e

return

and

be c o n t i n u i n g their t r a d i t i o n of giv-

ty,

rest of t h e c r e w not f o r g e t t i n g t h e

S p e n c e r W r i g g l y after a brief inter-

ing a w a y far t o o m a n y c i n e m a tick-

a u t o g r a p h e d by G i n g e r S p i c e

Dj's a n d o u r lively a u d i e n c e !

lude

with

ets for W a r n e r Village every w e e k ,

Shergar

the

as w e l l as p l a y i n g w o r l d e x c l u s i v e

W i n a l o t ) . T h ey are n e e d e d as s o o n

G o o d luck t o next year's

com-

Nelson

Frisbee

in the A n d e s b r e e d i n g

Pink P a n d a s

(you s h o u l d s e e

a n d c l a i m y o u r free s q u i r r e l * (both

sponsored

and by

mittee w h o will m a k e ICR b o u n c e

p h o t o g r a p h s ) . Their s h o w will b r i n g

r e m i x e s in their u n i q u e p i r 8 style

as p o s s i b l e s o K e n n y c a n run for

further t h a n Z e b e d e e g i v i n g Tigger

you

show.

m a y o r of L o n d o n .

a piggy-back whilst being p r o d d e d

feather d u s t a w a y t h o s e revision

where

it hurts w i t h

IC R a d i o

b r a n d i n g iron (cheers C h e f ) . This w e e k ' s

highlights are

u p o n an illegal high of wit t o

b l u e s . Tune in M o n d a y s ,

l2-2pm

for s o m e light relief. the

DJ P u g w a s h a n d Peter Terry will

Listen u p o n

Wednesdays

between 6 and 8 to W I N W I N W I N ! If R&J3 is y o u r t h i n g , listen t o Ed A d o o f r o m Kiss 100 every T u e s d a y @ 1 0 p m exclusive t o IC R a d i o .

fghij

Shave

m - Not to be used

other offer. No cash

the

in conjunction alternative.

kFl3LD]3H with any

ss n o pqe r 8

MUSIC

12 CLUBSCENE - C O M P E T I T I O N S

ICARUS -

Kamikaze

Release Date : 1st o pqe

*•

Mixed by Force &. Styles

•• The first t u n e , Moon Palace is a dark and mysterious affair. T h r o u g h o u t the C D D r u m ' n ' B a s s n o r m a l i t y is s u s p e n d e d , a n d the d u o ' s s h a r e d love of m a t h e m a t i c s p h e w t h e r e ' s still h o p e for m e y e t (But s a d l y not t h o s e o n Joint M a t h s fk C o m p u t i n g ! ) - architecture a n d industrial d e v e l o p m e n t sites leaves n o t h i n g t o the i m a g i n a t i o n . O k a y , so pythagorean identities don't c o m e flying a t c h a in tune 3, Para

h e n h a n d e d this C D t o review, I w a s w o r r i e d very w o r r i e d . W h a t with a w e i r d a l i e n - c u m - h u m a n o n the front c o v e r a n d a n artist by the n a m e of Icarus, I e x p e c t e d s o m e h o u r - l o n g assault of D r u m & B a s s that w a s the s o u n d t r a c k t o the X files m o v i e .

The press release t o l d m e t o listen in d a r k n e s s , but s h i t - s c a r e d I listened to it in the b l a z i n g sunlight s u r r o u n d e d by n u m e r o u s i m p l e m e n t s - r e a d y t o r e p e l the d e v i l if he c a m e . Thankfully, he never d i d , a n d a n hour after starting, I w a s g l a d to say that all h a d c h a n g e d w a s m y p e r c e p t i o n of w h a t D ' n ' B is. Icarus are c o u s i n s O l l i e B r o w n S a m B r i t t o n , a n d this is w i t h o u t a d o u b t as fierce as a d e b u t a l b u m comes.

Mis

tuvw

xyz{|}~

but the

influences

o f the ruff bassline a n d m e l o d i c t o n e s l e a d t o s e v e n m i n u t e s of seductiveness.

Xenotransplantation is as w e i r d as it s o u n d s - a laid back, s p o o k y intro g i v i n g w a y t o t w i s t e d be a t s b e f o r e s u b m e r g i n g into a tirade of electronic sounds. Y u m !

Baggage the last track, t a k e s m u s i c a l styles far b e y o n d the usual D ' n ' B p a r a m e t e r s - h a v i n g a n a l m o s t t e c h n o feel to it, a n d all tracks link in s u p e r b l y - highlighting the skill in this d u o ' s s o u n d t r a c k composition. M o t h exhibits a h a u n t i n g , d o u ble b a s s c i t y s c a p e feel, a n d the c r a s h i n g , h y p n o t i c G o r d o n Detail m e r g e to a d d y e t a n o t h e r m o r e t h a n w o r t h w h i l e d i m e n s i o n t o the R e c o r d i n g s of S u b s t a n c e label. Chris

innovative ideas o n display.

iririr

This is not a c h e e s y m i x e d c o m p i l a t i o n of 4 - b e a t / h a p p y h a r d c o r e a n t h e m s as y o u m a y think, but c o n sists entirely of Force fk Styles o w n work, quite incredible. I didn't realise h o w m a n y of the biggest tracks over the past y e a r s w h e r e d o w n to t h e s e t w o . A l t h o u g h it g e t s a bit t o o c h e e s y for m y taste b u d s t o w a r d s the e n d , it starts o u t in fine style w i t h s o m e of the d u o ' s earlier w o r k that e v e n I've got f r o m a f e w y e a r s back. S o if y o u like y o u r d a n c e m u s i c fast a n d s o m e t i m e s hectic - uplifting w i t h p l e n t y of piano action and stomping basslines in a h a r d c o r e f a s h i o n this s h o u l d be right u p y o u r street a n d bring back plenty of m e m o r i e s . Mogwai.

(Eye Q) N i c e title, this a l b u m is a c o l l e c t i o n of r e m i x e s of M o g w a i ' s w o r k by the likes of H o o d , M a x T u n d r a , Klute, DJ Q a n d e v e n M o g w a i h i m s e l f. Plenty of originality all pretty m u c h o n the e x p e r i m e n t a l s i d e of things. P a c k e d full o f n o v e l i d e a s a n d clever little t o u c h e s - but of l i m i t e d a p p e a l d u e t o this e x p e r i m e n t a l o f t e n dark a n d s o m e t i m e s plain insane. Tracks like Helicon 2 starts o u t w i t h a m i n u t e of m i n d b e n d i n g n o i s e that isn't at all p l e a s a n t . A p a r t f r o m the o d d harsh c r a z y track this a l b u m is q u i t e d r e a m y and t r i p p y but a little t o o m i n i m a l for m o s t . If y o u r i n te r e s te d in m a k ing e l e c t r o n i c m u s i c of any sort this is w e l l w o r t h c h e c k i n g as s o m e very

Anion Tobin. (Ninja Rec) **l/2 Y o u w o n ' t find this o n e u n d e r easy l i s t e n i n g - q u i t e the o p p o s i t e in fact. The r e a s o n for this is that the w h o l e a l b u m b o r d e r s o n the s i d e of experimentation, trying n e w idea s o m e that w o r k a n d o th e r s that d o n ' t . S o m e of the tracks are c h a l l e n g i n g t o listen to e v e n s o u n d i n g abrasive a n d d i s t o r t e d . I feel this is w h e r e the p r o b l e m s lie. W i t h A m o n trying t o o hard to be different, the majority of listeners w o u l d s i m p l y n o t bother f i g h t i n g t h r o u g h t h e first f e w strange tracks t o the m o r e , dare I say, n o r m a l tracks further into the a l b u m . Like Sordid Nightlife a c lever little DfkB n u m b e r that I c o u l d n ' t really s e e w o r k i n g in a club s et b u t fits p e r f e c t l y w i t h t h e a l b u m , Escape is a track that is crying o u t for a full o n DfkB m i x if y o u ask m e , l o a d s of clever s a m p l e s a n d fx just t o o m i n i m a l o n the beat front.

Influences f r o m Jazz, Blues, h i p - h o p , s a m b a DfkB a n d e v e n B a t u c a d a are pretty o b v i o u s w i t h tracks like Switch w h i c h is a jazz p i a n o intro w i t h w h a l i n g t r u m p e t etc j o i n i n g in w i t h c o m p u t e r fx over the t o p I Overall I w a s disappointed with this a l b u m there are s o m e g o o d tracks here a n d p l e n t y of clever i d e a s but s a d l e y they are in the minority.

} zy|

What's In The Box -

Where We Check What's In The Front Of Top DJs* Record Boxes.

D J Scott Garcia (Garage)- Top 20 1. 2. 3. 4.

Lenny Fontanna (Public D e m a n d ) Scott Garcia (Conngeted) Dub Monsters (Underground Corruption) Scott Garcia presents The Dark Series (Underground Corruption)

5. Scott Garcia 7. Chris M a c -

10. Skandal -

(Confetti) (Mutiply) (Promo) (White)

(Club A s y l u m ) ( D u b z For Kubs) (White) (White) (Fuzzed)

16. Danny J Lewis (Wild Star)

14. Dem 2 Remix -

15. M u s t a q (Conngeted)

6. Lutricia M C Neal 8. Studio 2 9. Jazz M o n d o -

11. Volume 3 12. MJ Cole - / 13. M - D u b V o l . 1 . -

17. Jack &. Jill 18. State Of Mind 19. Persian 20. TJ Cases -

(White) (Casa Trax) .2 (Ministry) (SJL Rec) (Cut fk Play)

IT'S e&MMG

iSpMFF

ENd'AND |COLOMBIA

INFLATH6L€ PINfllTV SH B o u n c y

111

P r i n t e d In D o c u c e i i l r i : The S h e r l i e l d W a l k w s n C a l l 4 )*S8(l f o r more i n f o r m : l

Adverf/smenf

FELIX

HAIESAION 15a Harrington Road South Kensington London SW7 3ES (I Minute walk from South Kensington Tube)

CUT

& BLOW

DRY

Editions

BY O U R T O P STYLISTS

£L5 £13 Normal

LADIES MEN Price

£30

ALL

T H E ISSUES

BOUND BOOK.

TH E

YEAR

A STURDY HARDBACK A N D TH E

COST

TWENTY POUNDS.

Telephone 0171 ACCESS

VISA

MASTERCARD

823 8968 CASH

CHEQUES

Place your orders now! Felix: 58072, felix@ic.ac.uk

e 8

FILM

THE GENERAL Starring: B r e n d a n G l e e s o n , )on V o i g h t , A d r i a n D u n b a r * * * Vi

Director: John B o o r m a n

all m e a c y n i c , but after John

portrait of a g a n g l a n d c r i m i n a l , w i t h

B o o r m a n w o n Best Director

a charicature of a loveable

for this film at C a n n e s , 1 w a s

testing

the

audience's

rogue,

loyalty

somewhat sceptical about going to

someone

s e e it. Y o u see, the v i e w s of t h o s e

a n d d a n g e r o u s m a n . This is easily

w o n d e r f u l p e o p l e at C a n n e s

w h o w a s after all a b a d

forgivable

don't

though,

the

dark

usually agree w i t h m i n e . This t i m e ,

s c e n e s are suitably dark a n d

however,

comedy

prised...

I was

pleasantly

sur-

l o o s e e n d here a n d ther e

Brendan

Strong Gleeson

doesn't

performances

and

Jon

Garda Inspector behind

V o i g h t , as

the

always one

step

Carhill,

along

with

in t h e

form

of C a r h i l l ' s

support

great

(rather intriguing) f a m i l y a n d g a n g , keep

the

audience

engrossed.

G r e a t c i n e m a t o g r a p h y just p u t s the icing

what

already

admirable cake. M y only advice to anyone going

Gleeson,

Carhill's s t o r y begins w i t h his c h i l d -

The

t o s e e this film (and I r e c o m m e n d

that

h o o d o n o n e of t h e p o o r e s t e s t a t e s in D u b l i n , w h e r e he s p e n d s his d a y s

odd

d e t r a c t f r o m t h e film either.

The w a s p r o d u c e d for an a b s u r d l y s m a l l b u d g e t (even by British s t a n d a r d s ) , s e c u r e d a l m o s t entirely o n the basis of B o o r m a n ' s r e p u t a t i o n , a n d is s h o t entirely in black a n d w h i t e . In a n o t w h o l l y unoriginal f o r m a t , t h e film begins with the final s c e n e a n d t h e n retros p e c t i v e l y c h r o n i c l e s t h e life a n d w o r k s of the i n f a m o u s Irish c r i m i n a l M a r t i n Carhill, a k a . T he G e n e r a l . Played

the

suitably funny. The

unfolds, appears undeserved.

you

do)

would

not

ity. I n d e e d , at t i m e s his w h o l e life

e x p e c t a b i g c l i m a x . This is after all

a p p e a r s t o be a n o n - s t o p battle t o

a true story - the life of a m a n w h o ,

G a r d a , t i m e in a C a t h o l i c borstal

insult, harass a n d e m b a r r a s s

the n o s t a l g i c black &. w h i t e f i l m i n g ,

with

Garda.

this g e n e r a t e s a s y m p a t h y for t h e

a n d t h e n t i m e in jail fuel C a r h i l l ' s

character

g r o w i n g a n i m o s i t y t o w a r d s author-

Endless

stealing f o o d a n d e s c a p i n g t h e Irish p o l i c e (the

Garda). C o u p l e d with

which,

the

story

the

conflicts

inevitable

with

the

molestation,

the

It is here that the o n l y fault w i t h the

a c r i m i n a l (albeit

legendary

o n e ) , h a d t o o m u c h faith that

film

appears.

It c o m b i n e s

w o u l d never be c a u g h t .

¡¢ £

AFTERGLOW Starring: Julie C h r i s t i e , N i c k N o l t e , Jonny L e e M i l l e r , Lara Flynn B o y l e Director: A l a n R u d o l p h

epair m e n eh? W h e n t h e y ' r e

painful e p i s o d e

not c h a r g i n g y o u a - h u n d r e d -

dwelling.

and-fifty quid

washer

bank

replace

holiday,

T he f i l m g o e s o n t o relate

they

conflicting

enjoy n o t h i n g m o r e t h a n s e d u c i n g lonely h o u s e w i v e s w i t h t h e

o n w h i c h she

and

often

is the

ill-defined

d e s i r e s of the p r i n c i p l e characters. U n f o r t u n a t e l y , Afterglow

subtle

frequently

c o m b i n a t i o n of a c o c k y grin a n d a

e n d s u p as c o n f u s e d as t h e y are.

little p l u m b i n g r e l a t e d i n n u e n d o -

Chrisite's self-absorbed melancholy

or s o w e have b e e n l e d t o believe

becomes too

irritating b e f o r e w e

by thirty y e a r s of British s i t u a t i o n

learn

cause,

c o m e d y . H o w e v e r , o n the evidence

e x e c u t i v e b o r e d o m is e x c e p t i o n a l l y

of Afterglow

grating. His assertions

that

only

impossible'

things a r e n ' t s o differ-

ent in M o n t r e a l .

'excited

merely

N i c k N o l t e plays L u c k y M a n n , a

it's

and

by t h e

succeed

Miller's he

making

him

repair c o n t r a c t o r w h o s e e a s y g o i n g

s o u n d e v e n m o r e juvenile. In fact,

charm

t h e c h a r a c t e r s are s o u n s y m p a t h e t -

presents

him with

ample

ic that a n y interest in t h e m d w i n -

o p p o r t u n i t y t o break his w e d d i n g vows.

His improprieties

become

woeful situation.

u n d e r s t a n d a b l e w h e n w e are i n t r o -

Conversely,

d u c e d t o his w i f e Phyllis, p l a y e d by

has

Julie C h r i s t i e . S h e

is a f o r m e r

B-

m o v i e a c t r e s s w h o s p e n d s her t i m e

all t h e

Four Jonny

Lee

Miller

outward trappings

characters

lan-

g u i s h i n g in t w o d y s f u n c t i o n a l m a r -

s u c c e s s - a salary large e n o u g h t o

ings,

entirely

expected

mance.

live in a r i d i c u l o u s l y flash

affair of N o l t e a n d the

attention

b e i n g f o r c e d t o q u e s t i o n his easy

starved B o y l e l e n d s little f r e s h n e s s

g o i n g o u t l o o k is far m o r e c o n v i n c -

i n g t h a n Julie C h r i s t i e ' s o v e r a c t i n g . Afterglow is an u n u s u a l film, but its p u r p o r t e d insights into human nature are far t o o v a g u e t o c o n s t i tute a n y t h i n g o t h e r t h a n h o l l o w pretension. D

ment, wife,

o d d gin.

d e s i g n e r frocks her heart

and to

keep

his

apart-

beautiful

Lara Flynn B o y l e , in all the desires.

and

the

proceedings.

A n unlikely

s y m m e t r y is c o m p l e t e d w h e n

the

good

H o w e v e r , M i l l e r is t o o w o u n d u p in

pursuit of the unfaithful pair brings

the

h i m s e l f t o s p a r e any t i m e for his

Miller

o b v i o u s rift in their m a r r i a g e , Phyllis

slightly n e u r o t i c w i f e w h o has little

Captivated

seems

c h a n c e of fulfiling her w i s h t o have

M i l l e r offers her an indulgent ear,

a baby.

and

Despite

masochistic

Nolte's attempts derive

heal

some

pleasure

sort

from

of her

P e r h a p s the o n l y s a v i n g g r a c e is

r e m i n i s c i n g a b o u t her p a s t w i t h the

humoured

d l e s t o m i l d c u r i o s i t y pretty rapidly.

riages isn't the m o s t lively of o p e n -

a i d of t a p e s of her o l d f i l m s a n d t h e

cliched

and

Chrisstie by the

eventually

older learn

together. woman, of

the

Nick

Nolte's

assured

His portrayal

perforLucky,

¤¥¦§¨

FILM

•

REVIEWS A N D C O M P E T I T I O N S

THE REPLACEMENT KILLERS

STAR PROFILE:

Starring: C h o w Yuri-Fat, M i r a S o r v i n o , M i c h a e l R o o k e r Director: A n t o i n e F u q u a •k'k •k

hose

o f us in t h e

CHOW YUN-FAT

Chinese

d'-. :

c o m m u n i t y will k n o w C h o w Y u n - F a t as t h e s q u a r e

jawed

¯°±²³´µ¶

Boiled, The Killer and Cod of t o n a m e just a f e w . This m a n is a h o u s e h o l d n a m e all o v e r S o u t h East A s i a a n d like B r u c e a n d Jackie b e f o r e h i m , C h o w Y u n - F a t is m a k i n g t h a t important leap into H o l l y w o o d . man

f r o m Hard

Killers is a n ac tion thriller w i t h a s i m p l e p l o t , but s p i c e d u p w i t h high a c t i o n . C h o w Yun-Fat ( k e e p i n g d i a l o g u e t o a m i n i m u m in his first English l a n guage role) is a n a s s a s s i n w h o finally t a k e s h e e d o f h i s c o n s c i e n c e w h e n p o w e r f u l u n d e r w o r l d figure M r W e i r e q u e s t s Y u n - F a t t o be a n instrument o f v e n g e a n c e . R e a l i s i n g that his d e f i a n c e is w o r s e t h a n s m o k i n g fifty a d a y , C h o w Y u n - F a t plans t o return t o C h i n a . Now

requiring a passport,

meets up with master forger

Mira

Sorvino

document

film

stars

o n the

p l a n e t - y e t unless y o u ' r e a

fan o f t h e k i n d o f d e s t r u c t i o n fest

cinema,

y o u probably

haven't

heard of him. This w e e k , to change Jackie

h o w e v e r , he a i m s

all that,

Chan

by e m u l a t i n g

and

hitting

the

H o l l y w o o d b i g t i m e . Q u i t e w h y is anyone's

guess,

but t h e p r o m i s e

o f m e g a p a y d a y s p r e s u m a b l y has

Chow

s o m e t h i n g t o d o w i t h it. In his o w n style a n d flair that Hard Boiled a n d

w o r d s " i n H o n g K o n g t h e stunt is

A b o v e the guns a n d explosions

m o r e recently Face/Off h a v e e s t a b -

very e x p e n s i v e a n d t h e star is very

t h e r e are s o m e g o o d s c e n e s , w i t h

l i s h e d , is w a y off. T o w a r d s t h e e n d

director

of t h e film, The

army of m e n t o tie up loose ends.

Fuqua,

experience

whose

lies in d i r e c t i n g m u s i c

v i d e o s , has a d d e d a n M T V flavour to the action sequences, using a car w a s h a n d a d a n c e floor in k e y moments. This

Hollywood

tries d e s p e r a t e l y t o h a v e t h e s a m e

·´¸³°¹´±´º»

Killers lacks s u s p e n s e in its a c t i o n s c e n e s and relies o n c a t a n d m o u s e sequences a n d heavy pyrotechnics to mask over an implausible c o n clusion.

·´¸³°¹´±´º»

The

production

(surprisingly

Killers

is like

m a k i n g p o p c o r n - heat in a w e l l

plausible p o r t r a y i n g a t o u g h c o o k -

e s s e n c e as H o n g K o n g a c t i o n films.

o i l e d p a n , a d d t h e kernels a n d t h e n

ie), a n d t h e w h o l e f i l m t h e n g o e s

However

w a t c h t h e m e x p l o d e . Dl

ballistic as M r W e i s e n d s a s m a l l

John W o o ' s u n i q u e n e s s , t h e s h e e r

Tickets

Y u n - F a t is o n e o f t h e

biggest

that is t h e h a l l m a r k o f H o n g K o n g

·´¸³°¹´±´º»

The

how

its a t t e m p t

emulate

Magpie

prizes galore courtesy of

cheap" H i s f a m e o w e s a lot t o a l o n g term

collaboration with God-like

d i r e c t o r J o h n W o o , w i t h w h o m he has m a d e

i n t e r n a t i o n a l hits s u c h Target, The Killer a n d the A Better trilogy, a n d p e r f e c t e d his t r a d e m a r k " t o o t h pick c h e w i n g " . H o w e v e r , even with such a high profile collaborat o r he has y e t t o m a k e a real break in t h e English language market, w i t h his fan b a s e p r i m a r i l y c o n c e n t r a t e d in S o u t h East A s i a . as Hard

×Ç±ÇµµÇØ

·´¸³°¹´±´º»

H o p e f u l l y , this w e e k ' s

release The Killers will change all that, showing H o l l y w o o d h o w to make action films p r o p e r l y - r i d i c u l o u s b o d y c o u n t , i d i o t i c c o p s , ultra v i o l e n c e , hideously scarred villains, a n d , m o s t i m p o r t a n t l y , b u c k e t l o a d s of style. of

Principle Filmography: T he R e p l a c e m e n t Killers (1998)

KENSINGTON

his w e e k , five pairs o f tickets

US smash hit T h e Wedding Singer a r e u p for grabs. Starring A d a m S a n d l e r a n d D r e w B a r r y m o r e , it's a trip t h r o u g h the early eighties, c o m p l e t e w i t h bandanas, m u l l e t s , a n d n o n s t o p new romantics soundtrack. Get ready t o relieve styles w h i c h I ' m sure e w all w a n t t o forget. for

So, w i t h o u t m o r e a d o h e r e ' s this w e e k ' s f i e n d i s h l y h a r d q u e s tion:

¼½½¾

Which film links the stars of Michael

To answer

and

enter to

simply

your

film.felix@ic.ac.uk

before M o n d a y e v e n i n g . Entries t o

Peace H o t e l , The (1995) G o d o f G a m b l e r s ' Return ( 1 9 9 4 ) Treasure H u n t (1994)

any o t h e r e m a i l a d d r e s s will not be accepted.

All for t h e W i n n e r ( 1 9 9 2 )

¿ÀÁÂÃÄÅ Maxwell Caulfield (The Real ÆÎÏÐ³ÇºÈ´ÉÊ Liv Tyler (That Thing ËÌÍÉ µ°Ò» a n d R o b i n T u n n e y (The Ñ ±¸Ôµ´ all starred in Ó Records.

P r i s o n o n Fire II ( 1 9 9 1 )

H a r d - B o i l e d (1992) Full C o n t a c t ( 1 9 9 2 )

The

answers

last

week's

poser w a s : Renne Zellweger I

The first five c o r r e c t entries o u t of m y hat w e r e :

Black Vengeance

(1990)

O n c e a Thief ( 1 9 9 0 ) T he Killer ( 1 9 8 9 ) G o d of Gamblers (1989) T r i a d s : T h e Inside Story ( 1 9 8 9 ) C o d e of H o n o u r (1989) A Better T o m o r r o w 111 ( 1 9 8 9 ) F r a c t u r e d Follies ( 1 9 8 8 )

Arosha Bandara Edwin Chang A d a m Bettinson (.A. De Los Rios Medina Ben Hedley Please d r o p into t h e

Õ´³ÔÖ

C h a s i n g Girls ( 1 9 8 7 ) P r i s o n o n Fire ( 1 9 8 7 ) D r a g o n a n d Tiger Fight ( 1 9 8 7 ) City o n Fire ( 1 9 8 7 ) A B e t t e r T o m o r r o w II ( 1 9 8 7 ) D r e a m Lovers (1986)

office

Better T o m o r r o w , A ( 1 9 8 6 )

(in t h e N W c o r n e r o f Beit Q u a d ) t o

T he S e v e n t h C u r s e ( 1 9 8 6 )

pick u p y o u r p r i z e s .

T he P h a n t o m B r i d e ( 1 9 8 5 )

5 June 1998

ARTS

HELD I N SUSPENSE

A CHORUS OF DISAPPROVAL THE POWER OF POSTER Alan

t's that t i m e of year again. A s S p r i n g s l o w l y g r i n d s it's w a y into Summer, and most people's heads are full of differential e q u a tions, nematodes and q u a n t u m m e c h a n i c s , the m o t l e y c r e w that is D r a m S o c take it u p o n t h e m s e l v e s to relieve of us o u r misery, if o n l y for a f e w h o u r s , by p e r f o r m i n g a beautifully a c t e d a n d w o n d e r f u l l y set play. This year, they've c h o s e n an e x c e l l e n t p l a y , A C h o r u s of Disapproval, an eighties Alan A y c k b o u r n , about the trials a n d torm e n t s of an a m a t e u r o p e r a t i c s o c i ety. It is e y e - w a t e r i n g l y funny a n d incredibly m o v i n g w h e n r e a d as text, a n d w i t h the s u p p o r t of a powerful cast, s h o u l d s p r i n g into life a n d b e c o m e a m a s t e r p i e c e . The plot centres a r o u n d a p r o d u c t i o n of the Beggars O p e r a by John G a y , a n d features s u c h m e m orable characters as D a f y d d , the W e l s h p r o d u c e r , H a n n a h , his l o n g suffering wife, L ind a, the p e t u l a n t a d o l e s c e n t , Ian a n d Fay H u b b a r d , the s winging c o u p l e into wifes w a p p i n g parties a n d a little black-

A mail o n the s i d e , the s e e m i n g l y inebriated R e b e c c a H u n t l e y - P i k e a n d the slightly b e m u s e d G u y , the n e w c o m e r w h o s e presence seems to jar all the p r o t a g o n i s t s into a c t i o n , a l m o s t w i t h o u t his k n o w l e d g e or consent. M e s s a g e l e s s , this play takes s t o c k characters that w e will all instantly recognise, places t h e m into a situation w h e r e their behaviour b e c o m e s inevitable, a n d sits back a n d w a t c h e s t h e m w o r k . The play s e e m s effortlessly w r i t t e n , the characters exist, they d o not a p p e a r t o be the p r o d u c t of s o m e o n e ' s i m a g i n a t i o n . This is a play a l m o s t t a i l o r - m a d e for a student c o m p a n y , and as s u c h c a n n o t g o w r o n g . The writing is faultless a n d as the majority of the characters are typecast, it s h o u l d be execellent. D o g o a n d see this, it will cheer y o u u p if y o u ' v e h a d a b a d e x a m , and will relax y o u after all the stress of this t e r m . A s John G a y w r o t e in the final s o n g of the o p e r e t t a , "The W r e t c h of T o - d a y , will be H a p p y To-morrow".

Ù ÚÛÜÝ

A n Arts Editor Writes.... D e s p i t e this c o l l e g e b e i n g at t h e forefront of scientific, m e d i c a l a n d technological research, people here are w o e f u l l y n a r r o w - m i n d e d w h e n it c o m e s t o the m o r e a v a n t g a r d e f o r m s of art. C e r t a i n p e o p l e have e l o q u e n t l y c r i t i c i s e d the e x h i bitions in the A n t e R o o m Gallery, in p a r t i c u l a r t h e 22 c l u b o v e r C h r i s t m a s , a n d s o m e p e o p l e are u n a w a r e of the p r e s e n c e of s u c h a gallery in c o l l e g e at all. Yet d e s p i t e this, d e s p i t e the a p a t h y t o w a r d s art, I never e x p e c t e d s u c h a c o n servative attitude f r o m s o m e of the m o s t f o r w a r d t h i n k i n g p e o p l e I know. When the last exhibition a p p e a r e d , I p o p p e d in t o s e e it, and w a s struck by the s o u l l e s s n e s s and the sterility of the p a i n t i n g s . They w e r e e x t r e m e l y w e l l - e x e c u t ed, but surely t o be a s u c c e s s f u l artist, y o u n e e d t o e x p r e s s s o m e t h i n g of y o u r s e l f in y o u r w o r k ; it seems pointless otherwise. People don't b e c o m e artists b e c a u s e t h e y feel like it, they have t o d o it, their w o r k is their d r i v i n g f o r c e a n d g o o d painters e x p r e s s this b e a u t i fully. The list of g e n u i n e , spiritual painters is e n d l e s s . E v e n s o m e of the artists in o u r o w n gallery have

been g o o d , those w h o exhibited O f f i c e Party, a series of paintings, drawings and sculpture, which I found extremely enjoyable. P e r h a p s M r . Baker m i s s e d that one. T o w r i t e "I never t h o u g h t I w o u l d have a g o o d w o r d for the A n t e R o o m exhibitions," indicates an a s t o n i s h i n g level of a r r o g a n c e and narrow-mindedness. Admittedly, s o m e of the w o r k has not b e e n g o o d , s o m e of it has b e e n truly d r e a d f u l , not "the w o r k of an e d u c a t i o n a l l y s u b n o r m a l gorilla", but not great art either. The "paintings [of] o b v i o u s f o r m a n d artistic insight" s o p r a i s e d by M r . Baker w e r e s o u l l e s s , sterile, puerile a n d banal. T h e y g a v e n o t h i n g e v e n t o t h e c a s u a l v i e w e r , a n d w o u l d not have s t o o d up t o intense scrutiny. T o be a g o o d d r a f t s m a n d o e s not m a k e y o u a g o o d artist. T o be able t o r e p r o d u c e a tree or a v a s e o r a s c e n e w i t h a hill a n d a c o w d o e s n o t i n d i c a te talent or i n n o v a t i o n . M r Baker is e n t i t l e d t o his o w n o p i n i o n , of c o u r s e , but I p e r s o n a l ly w o u l d rather see an exhibition w h i c h s h o w e d e v e n a hint of insight t h a n that sort of tacky greetings c a r d art.

he Power of Poster e x h i b i t i o n has b e e n o n for q u i t e a w h i l e at the V & A . 1 v i s i t e d it a b o u t five w e e k s a g o for t h e first t i m e and liked it s o m u c h that I w e n t again last w e e k e n d . It is really superb.

T h e e x h i b i t i o n is d i v i d e d u p into different t h e m e s . First o n e strolls t h r o u g h the theatre p o s t e r s w i t h some of Toulouse-Lautrec's d e s i g n s for Paris at t h e b e g i n n i n g of the century. There are a l s o s o m e gorgeous Japanese pieces. The next r o o m has lots of m u s i c related posters and covers ranging from H e r b Ritts's p h o t o of M a d o n n a for to David Hockney's beautiful p o s t e r for P a r a d e , an o p e r a ballet in N e w York, The film s e c t i o n s h o w s again a lot of d i v e r s i t y : Chaplin's early films s t a n d next t o the p o s t e r of The B o d y g u a r d . O n e t h e n m o v e s o n t o the m o r e political side of p o s t e r s . P r o p a g a n d a is the key w o r d ; p r o - a r m y (mainly t h e US), a n t i - w a r , M a i 68 in France, Russia....

Þßàá âãäå

In this s e c t i o n there are s o m e a m a z i n g w o r k s : Keith Haring's p a i n t i n g for a a p a r t h e i d free S o u t h A f r i c a , Saatchi a n d Saatchi's p r e g nant m a n p r o m o t i n g c o n t r a c e p t i o n , the p o s t e r s a b o u t w o m e n ' s right of v o t e . This is particularly fasc i n a t i n g s i n c e it is the illustration of

progress a n d man's p r e o c c u p a t i o n s o v e r t h e s e past 100 years: all the b i g t h e m e s are p r e s e n t . O n e t h e n m o v e s o n t o the p r o p e r c o m m e r c i a l s i de of p o s t e r s : a d v e r t s for p t o d u c t s like G u i n n e s s , Bisto a n d Bovril a n d a f e w w o r k s by M u c h a the C z e c h artist.The last r o o m h o s t s a f e w m o r e recent posters including the hilarious S m i r n o f f o n e s a n d the c o n t r o v e r sial B e n e t t o n a d v e r t i s e m e n t s . This e x h i b i t i o n s h o w s lots of d i f f e r e n t f u n c t i o n s p o s t e r s have had o v e r t h e y e a r s . In a w a y it is a brilliant p i c t u r e of o u r t i m e s a n d says a lot a b o u t o u r fears, o u r ideas a n d o u r d r e a m s . It w o u l d n ' t be surp r i s i n g if t h e s e p o s t e r s have influe n c e d H i s t o r y . T h e y certainly help t o s h a p e o ur e v e r y d a y tastes, w h a t w e buy, w h a t is c o o l , . w h e r e w e g o , p e r h a p s e v e n w h o w e talk t o . . . T h e s e t h i n g s d o have i n c r e d i ble p o w e r as the n a m e of the exhibition s u g g e s t s . The key t o it is the p o s t e r t h e V & A have d e s i g n e d for its p r o m o t i o n . I h a d a great t i m e w a l k i n g t h r o u g h it a n d e n j o y e d it immensely the s e c o n d time round t o o . I definitely r e c o m m e n d it.

CORNELIA PARKER The Serpentine

his is the first major retros p e c t i v e of C o r n e l i a Parker's career. A s o n e of Britain's best c o n t e m p o r a r y artists, alj her exhibits have a feeling of m a t t e r held in s u s p e n s e . S o , for e x a m p l e , she has a large w o r k c o n s i s t i n g of silverware, run o v e r by a s t e a m roller a n d s u s p e n d e d a f o o t f r o m the g r o u n d , e n t i t l e d thirty p i e c e s of silver. This m i g h t not s o u n d that i m p r e s s i v e , but it is. The w o r k that has g o n e into p r o d u c i n g this p i e c e ,

the d e d i c a t i o n it s h o w s is quite b r e a t h t a k i n g . Everything s e e m s t o suggest that if y o u h a d b e e n here y e s t e r d a y , y o u w o u l d have s e e n the bullet g o t h r o u g h the dress, s e e n the lion savage the b o w l , seen t h e w h o l e n e s s that has been r e p l a c e d by the i n c o m p l e t e n e s s . She p r e s e n t s us w i t h a fait a c c o m pli, a n d w e m u s t fill in the d e e d w i t h o u r i m a g i n a t i o n s . M y favourite exhibit w e r e the figures m a d e f r o m c o i n s run o v e r by a train, h u n g f r o m t h e c e i l i n g in t h e s h a p e s of p e o p l e , m o v i n g slightly in the b r e e z e , as if t h e y w e r e b r e a t h i n g . T h i s is a remarkable exhibition, a n d will m a k e y o u think d e e p l y about the way w e v i e w o b j e c t s . It is w o r t h s e e i n g , it's free, it's u p the r o a d a n d it's very, very g o o d . W h a t m o r e c a n y o u ask for?

Ù ÚÛÜÝ

ORLD WEDS

JUNE

WTH

4PM 8PM

}:•"' ii:--

THURS

JUNE

11TH

4PM SPM FRI

JUNE

12TH

1PM

,. y

8PM: / æçèéê Cë ìíîíîïððñòðóôôì U|

IMI'I

OUT

ROOM

TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY DAMI

COCKTAIL

BAR.

3-2.

ARTS

GAMES

5 June

1998

NOT OVERLOOKED l Kenny,

y Hicks

t's the ice f r o m our bird b a t h i n

AS YOU LIKE IT Shakespeare's

y ;V:io I^er-j.rri^'sy^itifireat''. b% h e w v-je

t h e winter", the artist e x p l a i n e d

j i t ; r f i - , ÂŤ ' , ' ' . , ' ! â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;˘ a p p a r e n t in

t o m e at the private v i e w i n g o n

the rv-...: "'ii

'i.-

â&#x20AC;˘:: sug-

21st M a y . "I f o u n d it d e f r o s t i n g in

g e s t s that the p i c t u r e s h o 1 | p l | H

the k i t c h e n sink w h e n I g o t

home

trunks

a n d I liked the l o o k of it." 1 l o o k e d

indeed

one

closely

Bird

the

Water

series. "I put a s q u a r e of g l a s s o n

'silver!; b i r c h would

sight; T he

trees,

think o n

as first

"trunks", h o w e v e r ,

are

actually icicles o h a c l u m p of r u s h *

the m i d d l e of it for t h e s e c o n d o n e

es. The artist cleverly m a n i p u l a t e s

a n d t o o k it off again for the t h i r d .

the

T he

ÂŤff#||;/;; ; '-

ice

was

melting under

lights a n d y o u c a n

see

the

scale

great

O v e r a l l , it is Paul Kenny's g r e a t

in L o n d o n a n d

runs

until

ture

which

appealing.

t w a s an interesting e x p e r i e n c e t o s e e As Like It b e i n g d o n e

f r o m t h e d i r e c t i o n of the stage.

at The G l o b e Theatre.

It is a

b e c o m i n g a tourist attraction rather

v e n u e w h i c h a l l o w s for rather m o r e

t h a n a s e r i o u s t h e a t r e s p a c e if p e o -

audience

makes The

his

v ork

subject

matte

involvement than

t h e a t r e s . It w a s rather therefore

that

most

unfortunate

never

quite

engaged

w i t h the c h a r a c t e r s a n d

did

feel

not

the

need

was,

audience

Globe

runs

the

risk

ple g o ther e for t h e sake of

the

g o i n g t o T he G l o b e i n s t e a d of g o i n g ther e t o s e e p l a y s . I w a s

therefo r e

d e l i g h t e d that this p r o d u c t i o n w a s

shout

of s u c h high q u a l i t y . The h u m o u r of

them.

the

nonetheless,

some

and

p a r t i c i p a t i o n but

felt

rather fake.

The

abuse/encouragement There

;;

a p p r e c i a t i o n of fine, detail a n d tex-

This is Paul Kenny's d e b u t e x h i bitio n

leaf

f r o z e n into it."

concept

e Theatre

p i e c e w a s really brought depth

and

subtlety

out were

a p p a r e n t in m a n y of the characters, I felt I k n e w w h a t they w e r e think-

B e i n g a 'groundling' has its d a n gers (and n o t o n l y s e v e r e b a c k a c h e

i n g all t h e t i m e - e v e n w h e n they said nothing.

2 0 t h June. The artist's s u b j e c t s are

s o m e t h i n g w e have all s e e n ,

and

f r o m s t a n d i n g u p for thre e h o u r s ) ,

leaves, r o c k s a n d ice in this c o l l e c -

m o s t of us w o u l d n ' t really think of

ther e w a s f i g h t i n g in a n d t h r o u g h

with

tion of c h l o r o - b r o m i d e p r i n t s . The

e x a m i n i n g in any d e t a i l ; the artist's

the

w h i c h is very h u r r i e d a n d c o n t r i v e d ,

>rity of the p i e c e s s h o w leaves '\ in natural s u r r o u n d i n g s a n d in the artist's s t u d i o . The v e i n struc-

b e a u t y a n d c o m p l e x i t y of j

nature.

, be 'â&#x20AC;˘ i .

various

work demonstrates how much

actors making entrances

through

ural

the pit - in o n e c a s e s e n d i n g a n

beauty

goes

unnotice I a n d

unappreciated.

ĂťĂźĂ˝Ă˝ĂžĂż

ĂśĂˇĂ¸ĂšĂş

Hicks Street, SE-i

Hopton

Ăľ -h:

effect

but

the

play was

the

ending, Mind

it didn't really m a t t e r .

y o u , I c o u l d have d o n e w i t h o u t the

elderly m e m b e r of t h e a u d i e n c e fly-

s e v e n t y y e a r o l d G o d of M a r r i a g e

ing b a c k w a r d s into the c r o w d . In

c o m i n g o n at t h e

the

b e a r d , antlers a n d a pair of birds

Sixteenth

Century

the

g r o u n d l i n g s w e r e liable t h r o w rotten

fruit at

the

actors;

end

nest p a n t s !

in just

modern

Dane

a u d i e n c e s t e n d t o be slightly m o r e

loaves a n d u s e d l i g h t i n g t o c r e a t e an intriguing c h e q u e r b o a r d

w e l l as

ture is > tptured a n d r e p r o d u c e d in < .Jisite d e t a i l , s h o w i n g t h e great

audience

T h e o n l y p r o b l e m I really h a d

20! '

>'â&#x20AC;˘'â&#x20AC;˘

r e s t r a i n e d , t h o u g h they m a y have

i Kenny

pieces.

t o d u c k flying v e g e t a t i o n

coming

EA SPORTS : WORLD CUP '98

Playstation Controller news.

Electronic Arts - PC / Playstation / N64

A l r e a d y b o u g h t the a n a l o g u e

Fed u p w i t h y o u r s t a n d a r d p a d ?

â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;˘

and

g a m e s p e c i a l i s e d p a d s ? W e l l perH u r r a h , the W o r l d C u p is a b o u t t o

h a p s the " G l o v e " is for y o u . For just

interrupt w h a t w o u l d be o t h e r w i s e

less t h a n ÂŁ 5 0 it c a n give t h e user

appallingly

empty

summer.

the refined l o o k of a total idiot a n d

Luckily for all y o u s o f a f o o t b a l l fans

possibly

there are several n e w f o o t i e g a m e s

repetitive strain injury. The

advanced

case

glove

t o play before, in the g a p s b e t w e e n

also p r o v i d e s a crucial a d v a n t a g e in

a n d after t h e g a m e s .

c o m p e t i t i o n as h u m a n

The y o u n g s t e r

3-Lions

shows

are

unable

opponents

concentrate

and

its lack of e x p e r i e n c e at this level

i n s t e a d are m e s m e r i s e d , w a t c h i n g

a n d is d r o p p e d f r o m t h e

y o u r h a n d s w o b b l e in apparently

luckily the t w o o l d e r

team,

team-mem-

random directions.

bers International S u p e r s t a r S o c c e r

A p p a r e n t l y the g l o v e is able t o

a n d FIFA ' 9 8 h a v e b e e n k i t t e d o u t

operate

for a n o t h e r

as the s t a n d a r d digital p a d , as a n

c o m p e t i t i o n . T he

ISS

release has y e t t o m a k e it o u t for out o n the p i t c h w a r m i n g u p .

T he

modes;

a n a l o g u e p a d or in s i m u l a t e d a n a -

sSHMBgBMawiteasBWMMBMijBiBriRi

training but FIFA W o r l d C u p ' 9 8 is

in t h r e e different

logue

lgfr

mode

t o give y o u r digital

responses a winning edge.

PC version d e m o n s t r a t e d o n a t o p

the

glove

Using

is actually easier

than

Pentium 2 system with a D i a m o n d

football s o u n d s c a p e

M o n s t e r II c a r d s t o r m e d o u t like a

TV is all there, f r o m c r o w d roar t o

best y e t , not q u i t e the " p i s s i n g into

the

d i r e c t i o n s , w h i l e the

buttons

world c u p winner.

c o m m e n t a r y f r o m s u c h e x p e r t s as

the e y e s ' of the o p p o s i t i o n " that

are

o n the

fingers.

w e r e s u p e r b , m o s t of the E n g l a n d

Des

P C Z o n e s a i d it w o u l d be, but a

There

crew

their

(obviously for penalties). A s for the

step

slight w e i r d n e s s w i t h this but the

rather

fluid

gameplay,

W o u l d I buy it? P o s s i b l y n o t ,

m o t i o n c a p t u r e s y s t e m has

been

b o r e d of England w i n n i n g the final

actually

namesakes,

The

looked

a n d tjie

graphics like

designed to m i m i c specific for c e r t a i n

players

moves

the

Chris W a d d l e

well should y o u grow

twentieth

time

ther e

a l w a y s the o p t i o n of p l a y i n g as an

c o m p l e t e lack of k n o w l e d g e of the

historical t e a m s u c h as the England

Brazilian

1966

team

- though

for

Lynham and

as f o u n d o n

did prevent

c h e c k i n g this o u t . T he

expected

team,

Brazil

Germany 1990's teams.

1970

A s football g a m e s g o it is the

above

the

titles. I'd

e x p e c t e d . Flexing the wrist controls tips of y o u r

is as y o u w o u l d e x p e c t

d e s i g n e r says that it s o o n b e c o m e s

wait t o see if the K o n a m i ISS g a m e

a l m o s t pleasurable. H m m o n e for

w a s better a n d w i t h o u t a d e c e n t

the Lara C r o f t c r o w d t h e n .

3 d c a r d I w o u l d n ' t risk it.

For more news, see:

5 June

CAPITAL

1998 S

no. 2

Vend'

i 0

imbesi

u".

.11

-a' i

T h e W e d d i n g .Singer

, N

wdeieslyie

Invasion '

! "#$%

B B c A A v o i d this s

.sceiB'd(e'ina''.af all cost:.

' *+, - *. / . () # ( "00 '

it icy' nee e r a r e ' i r i e y

l i !pn

Virgin H a m m e t s m i t f i

' 3.

-i a n - 8i

)+ T h e C o n s , + -The k I - atii s . ''it' B oti

e s h

O noi iofin iVtarfyn + e + + + . r i e e b n e / Park, i Cam II p m . L,iS. .

12m

t'/hirrts p r o b a b l y ri ic

dt i

¨© ªªª «'

i.. e i .

¯ "! h °) ±²³³´ . ' 77. fde i 4µ

Royal Festival Hail,

Bank: J '

n i .

Hayes l a sioot, '' '

67-68

, s

Anish Kapoor

I i

woiid

, . ig

e d

s , etm ¹ K 0 ½ ¾ ¿À ÁÂ ÃÄ Å Æ Ã Æ Æ

E , 1 1 E ''

is.. 6

'.nan

-'...

)' '' 3 0

Tottenham C t K d

i (4aidt:no -'

eioooief, t

2 10. 4.40. .7.

"Do

I, e n -

fil.s Ta: Roy'Sliin Midi'ifid

& 9 8 q 9 i # n 0

....,

, d

I nd

<i ' it

' w e t ' e r m d r i i , Co

11 , O i ) s

i .'Ii . t h e d e c a d e

8 it

.alii ry

Fl <

L(ve' O P

'trwe

CQR S C BUV . % !T #< < (( P, YZ[ ] WX \ \ sports otdei'

' '' ' 'd , QC 0#^@ AP((< ! 0 B 8 8 C ! . '. n

? @ B@ $ e

, , l

f EV% y

. ,

;(s

, ,

I I Srep.e

D. rsanRy.Fi'isrer,

, , . , e i

tsoesis.

< )< °'

t i n t engaging-'icidl stfits

Iteirenlsce k'oosn. Barry

e l

1 1

`abc g _ dee* )f!ht 'IC-i I fit" dcirVifilei

e die Ç 7 k . i 'I

Room . p

.. n

I • nfceUI I, I'll

A .

li'.SliS fOOtdaiS

i 11

.,"i

2 7 2 41 B e

I.,I,

' .

remote-

3 ! o t a n i .-id 7 8 9 t is inspired,

Inhere w.ihk

#:;

>p A .C ?@ AA% B ; 3

o v n ' H i .1 ,B

I t

j ^,

12.10,

i'O B B p i e . '

e s

DE0 .

( E,

12.30,

'I.

and

%i ##% ! B (% #y l#m@ BBe

: 'i.

Watch anci, i , . .

8pm

i...n

. rosy * / v . '

od OP. >p

comic lake o n i h e World

,el'0,

10. 1

PAM:

" # ¢@ m

4pm

r..:

qrr'

' i..

ill,.,.

i,i

nsi

S h a m e , really.

E 7-1

ÊË

¥ j( 0

t '

I .

. 4

> p Live 10 4 0 p m , ITV. B . n V I a n d skinner 0! # 0 " e ad . II n

d,V St'I,

Mother Brown

i.I.'

g d g

Wfitteleys EC2,

Biggest Break .si

Bind

B, 8 , 3 0

i-0 E .

/ .

T " l% :

t o n a e n Sridtie/Biackftiae

C a n n e s vvriner.

. 4

,. i. :

n¼ , ' / ¯ " ¢PV% B , l

i ¦ 'white 0" t @ ! "@ AA y § "#! e g o o d

º@ § "% P !

n 2 IS, '

Anciy

I-,I 7 3 i Ad

'I,.

shot m t e

Fantasy W o o d

ail available I V c h a n n e l s

e , i

'OI

of M a n b y

' Arty,

yzy { z|y } : tuvvw x vw x u x u~ i 1 : Is:

''I

e t'or.tf

n v 8pm

¹ K ¡ ¤ 2

2.10, 4.40, 7 10,

All D r i n k s 12 I Opr^d^ayiy: d

. . i' c i . ' i i II , >

y v

17¤ 0

t ho

Moms

A s Y o > Like It

4 3 0 , 7 00, ,

Al.rrlp k n o w n

1 pm.

@ È(;(,

7e.B

"... Bares

0 '

2 20, 4 40, 7 00,

WCMD

£7

b r S m s o d ' S ' . W e s t effort

É'

Big BcvB's vvil.h R e s i d e n t

WC2

2 0 . 3 30'

die I

s p e e c h (Trie S e v e n A g e s

LMNN ConCidtsBlail. K

e g

starts tonight in .the'-'

g k

Road

The Crow.

s .

N o w a y .-.'Spm,'-' :

¹ K2

N K 0

'Morocco v

B a n k . St: i ' l o b e .

Waterlon,''i'l7,

.and'/tor D b A - . S c o t l a n d : v

GH IJ F - A pfft

¯ "! h

'irgii i T r o c o d e r o

A'i'ffla'tChOS'il'l B a V l f i f l i v

¹3

s ! vi qi i

B O O M OLY

N NN N ( E, 7 , 8 0

s 70, , " i ,

-nF! i

' ' 7¡ ': (s.eie starrer, e-iiii.iliseei A A " r dse & ssiirasse "P! # e s y s t e m :

-t n o i

t h e a t r e at 2

i'"

f i i i i i d i e ! anitskinnc-r"'.

i in...

6.10, 8

Red C o m e r

. y

.e. e

17 0

¶¶· 3¸ 3 t

if.

3.00, 6.00,

op.

end t v "

l arC'l a iltir , it *. Hit ! 8 ri i

< (=! ;r

a- - *.i

n e

% 0& y

i i' vv.Lty play o l . trie

ii,< .,'1 v ! i it-let f ' i l r .i i i '

'.'.h,

E v e n engineers will

' " i V/.iir. ' ifii.-n

td,Ok ft'', p i e It

t i l . " " f l i p ,ind - i h r r a d , I'

6 45

i :..

,1,

Ì Í ÎÏ Î Ð ÎÑ Î ÒÓ Í Í Ó Ô Ð Î Î . × ÕÖÖ i i- . i I \ ' ': B o o m s , i i ," Ø " 0 y t e e n n o Ù Tee! i Ü ÜÞ ß doss e t i . ÚÛ ÛÝ ! B'Sp.m .ABOai i.'s ltd V N U S

àÊ

. in fo. 0 ! 7"! 7 2 4 . 4 6 3 7

SPORT

ACROSS disease,

W h e n in t r o u b l e , a true u s e s c a n o p y (9)

but w i t h rosy e n d i n g 2

In library 1 d o h i d e energy! (6)

A French n o - o n e (4)

Drunk at n e w w e d s ' g i g (7)

Trip c o u l d bring C I D ' s icy glare,

Tiger in tro ubl e loses right t o burn (6)

p e r h a p s (8, 4)

Bins p o l i c y in tro ubl e w i t h d r u g

Calor

gas

comes

(6)

Blackbird f o u n d in English river w i t h legs first? (5) Beating

half

them

(10)

while

thieving? (9)

Abandon perspective designers? (7)

1å

Area

m o n p l a c e by Ed (9) F o r m fungi (5)

S o u n d s like line w i t h delay -

Unhappy and shaken Del arose

w h a t a s t a t e ! (6) W o m a n left in N e w York regu-

M u s e u m half With this college

S i p nasty after p e n n y s l o p e s (4)

24 2æ

London

E m e r a l d spirit? (5, 7)

Z e b e d e e l o s e s 'e, right, w i t h inn

com-

1æ

for

made

t i d y i n g u p at s p e e d

Fed u p w i t h o c e a n ? (7) Unstable Pap to praise

A f t e r a fine display of f o r m s (fixed movements), the action began to heat u p as t h e free s p a r r i n g g o t u n d e r w a y . The 2v-1 b o u t s w e r e fierce w i t h M i k e m o v i n g s o fast a r o u n d his t w o

s m a s h e d their w a y t h r o u g h eight roof tiles w i t h only just enough time to apply the D e e p Freeze before having to chop clean through a d e f e n c e l e s s house-brick. N o w the only t h i n g that stood between

boys and Another batch of perfectly good t h e roofing tiles is dispatched it the their black belts name of sport. w a s t w o i n c h e s

o p p o n e n t s that he left a trail of flames b u r n i n g in t h e ring a n d Paul taking a bit of a b r u i s i n g f r o m t w o trained t h u g s . N e x t c a m e the g r o u p sparring with o p p o s i t i o n from M a n c h e s t e r a n d W a l e s . This event s a w Paul trying his best not t o a c c i dentally knock, p e o p l e o u t w i t h his lethal t u r n i n g kick ( u n s u c c e s s f u l l y). A s bout after b o u t w a s f o u g h t a n d

of w o o d , but not for l o n g as t h e e x p l o s i v e p o w e r r o c k e t e d f r o m the feet of t h e IC m a s t e r s , initiating fast fracture in the organic c o m posite. W u S h u K w a n runs regular c l a s s e s in S o u t h s i d e G y m o n S a t u r d a y s a n d the U n i o n G y m o n S u n d a y s , b e g i n n i n g at 4 . 3 0 p m . B e g i n n e r s are w e l c o m e at any t i m e a n d the first l e s s o n is free!

(10)

S o u r t u n e s c a n be t o u g h (9)

larly (6) and

c o n g r a t u l a t e (7)

three

then

Startin g y e s t e r d a y , m a n n e q u i n r e d u c e d t o s o n g (5)

f r o m seat (6)

All

hides

S c a n hut, p e r h a p s , a n d d i s c o v -

w o n , the IC b o y s began t o s h o w that it w a s n ' t just big I Q ' s that they w e r e p a c k i n g . H a v i n g s o r t e d out the a n i m a t e objects, n o w the only c h a l l e n g e left t o the t e a m w a s the breaking.

man

er firm (7)

They k n e w exactly w h a t lay a h e a d of t h e m as they set o u t early last Sunday morning. The three; M i k e Corrigan ( M E 4 ) , a n d Paul W a t s o n (CE4) t o g e t h e r w i t h N i c k " K i c k - a s s from H e l l a s " Kassapakis (Phys P h D ) , h a v i n g t r a i n e d for 4 y e a r s w i t h the IC K u n g Fu club, were g o i n g for b l a c k belt.

chap

(7) Invalid, y e t c a l m ? (7)

Angry Fists

ââ8

DOWN

H e l p r e d u c e d in c o n f u s i o n o v e r

June

m a k e e n t e r t a i n m e n t (5)

If e d i b l e , use this t o sort of try clue (7)

Korfball ) It w a s s o m e t i m e o n a S u n d a y m o r n i n g that I d i d n ' t k n o w e v e n e x i s t e d a n d the U L Korfball t e a m w e r e h e a d i n g out t o C a m b r i d g e in s e a r c h of s u c c e s s a n d f o r t u n e . But w h a t is korfball Y o u m u s t be êëì í w o n d e r i n g [Not really - ç è é It's a D u t c h g a m e similar t o basket ball a n d net ball in that y o u have t o get a ball into a basket m o r e t i m e s than the o p p o s i t i o n but that is w h e r e the similarities e n d . For a start, it is p l a y e d by m i x e d t e a m s . The b a s k e t s are m o v e d t o w a r d s t h e c e n t r e of e a c h half s o that w h e n y o u m i s s a shot, play c o n t i n u e s . This h a p p e n s very frequently as the baskets are higher than in either of the other t w o g a m e s . Before w e knew what was h a p p e n i n g , w e w e r e in t o the final against o ur o l d rivals C a m b r i d g e University. The g a m e w e n t into extra t i m e . After t w o m i n u t e s w e h a d m a n a g e d t o c r e e p into the lead 3-4, w i n n i n g the c l u b ' s third p i e c e of silverware in 18 y e a r s . A n y b o d y i n t e r e s t e d in t a k i n g up korfball, c o n t a c t the club p r e s ident, Marcus ( m . s c o t t i @ i c . a c . u k ) or s e e o u r w e b page at: www.ucl.ac.uk/~dmcbrit/ULKC/.

Cricket IC 1st w e r e p l a y i n g in the s e m i final. A s w e m a s s e d in the union t h e signs w e r e g r i m . For a start there w e r e three s e c o n d t e a m e r s . H o w e v e r , it w a s a t a l e n t e d b u n c h that a r r i v e d at H a r l i n g t o n , after w e h a d d i s p o s e d of their firsts in the previous years semi-final. T h e b a t t i n g s t a r t e d solidly w i t h j o n s c o r i n g a b o u t as frequently as his f o o t b a l l n a m e s a k e s a n d Imran Khan p l a y i n g n o w h e r e near as well as his. W e t h e n a t t e m p t e d England (cricket) style s u i c i d e as w e lost s e v e n w i c k e t s for a b o u t fifty runs before G r a h a m rescued the team w i t h a s p a r k l i n g 4 2 not o u t . O u r final s c o r e of 158 - 8 l o o k e d r e s p e c t a b l e but the g o l d w a s yet t o come. Raj s t a r t e d w i t h a s u p e r b over into t h e w i n d . M a r d a r t o o k t w o w i c k e t s in his s p e l l , d e l i v e r i n g the ball like a tracer bullet, not b a d for a g u y w i t h a girls' n a m e . A r c h i a n d j o n t o o k m o s t of the r e m a i n i n g w i c k e t s a n d IC I s t s are into the final t o d e f e n d t h e title w e w o n last year. The final is W e d n e s d a y aftern o o n a n d t h e c o a c h leaves at 1 2 . 3 0 p m f r o m the U n i o n . A l l s u p p o r t e r s are very w e l c o m e . It will be a great d a y o u t .