http://felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_2001/2001_1211_A by Ravi Pall

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flip Contents

IK'S E

Felix f u n d s

•nmer B a l l rotfcs & any !ote news we might

a b d u c t e d

Bankrupt company burns hole in newspaper's pocket HAM FOSTER

Insurance a n d genetic testing

lishing c o m p a n y in o r d e r to further his b e l i e f s . It

w a s the start

of a d o w n h i l l

spiral

for

Jelix n a r r o w l y a v o i d e d a f i n a n c i a l c r i s i s l a s t

M a r c h f i r s t , w h o s e E u r o p e a n a r m finally w e n t bust

week w h e n a major a d v e r t i s e r filed f o r b a n k -

last m o n t h , a n d e m p l o y e e s in s e v e r a l c i t i e s b r o k e

itcy- in a s t o c k m a r k e t c r a s h b e i n g

directly

buted to a l i e n s .

into t h e c o m p a n y ' s o f f i c e s in o r d e r to r e c l a i m p o s sessions and obtain severance pay. A t the begin-

[inting of last w e e k s i s s u e w a s s u s p e n d e d by

ning of this y e a r , M a r c h f i r s t t o o k o u t a s e r i e s of

Union's E x e c u t i v e C o m m i t t e e on M o n d a y 11th

full c o l o u r , f u l l - p a g e a d v e r t i s e m e n t s in F e l i x , but

j>r D e p u t y P r e s i d e n t ( F i n a n c e & S e r v i c e s )

later c l a i m e d that t h e y w o u l d be unable to p a y until

•nne Pollard e x p r e s s e d concern over Editor

M r C l i f f o r d e x p l a i n e d w h y t h e a d v e r t s w e r e about

In C l i f f o r d ' s handling of the f i n a n c e s . M r P o l l a r d

t w o s h a d e s out (although most p e o p l e c o u l d notice

I Exec that Felix c o u l d l o s e up to £ 4 0 , 0 0 0 this

a n y d i f f e r e n c e ) . U n a b l e to d o s o , a n d a w a r e of

;r unless s o m e t h i n g w a s d o n e . T h i s f i g u r e w a s

M i ' s p r o b l e m s , he s o u g h t t h e U n i o n ' s a d v i c e , w h o

I disputed by a n y o n e p r e s e n t ,

.qnd g o o d b y e ffom him

r e c o m m e n d e d he offer them a " s u b -

Mr C l i f f o r d had not b e e n told I

stantial discount". Despite this, M1

;h a d i s c u s s i o n w a s b e i n g |

a r e still b e l i e v e d to o w e Felix a r o u n d

D o e s i m p e r i a l hove a geeky, : . . • • • ; • .

I •

£3,000 for O c t o b e r ' s advertising, and

Mr P o l l a r d ' s m a i n c o n c e r n

Finance Office are pessimistic about

jfie f r o m F e l i x ' s i n v o i c i n g o f

the c h a n c e s of a n y money from the

lertisers, w i t h a p p r o x i m a t e l y

receivers.

,000 of invoicing still to d o at

M r C l i f f o r d d e n i e d t h a t h e w a s at

• time of E x e c . T h e f i g u r e of

f a u l t o v e r M a r c h f i r s t , but d i d a d m i t

0,000, w h i c h

he s p o k e of

ma M r C l i f f o r d

that he h a d got behin d on invoicing

for, was

•

jarently b a s e d o n no f u r t h e r

this t e r m , which he a t t r i b u t e d to " F e l i x

HH|Editor

in S u m m e r S y n d r o m e " ; t o o

Dicing, no a d v e r t i s i n g in t h e

™ m u c h to d o , too many people doing

two i s s u e s , a n d F i n a n c e

— e x a m s . T h e £ 8 , 0 0 0 b a c k l o g of invoic-

fee f a i l i n g t o c o l l e c t a n y of money F e l i x is o w e d

from

• H B B H m g

King A d o f a , Soulwax & Turin ew

w a s c l e a r e d during the eight d a y s

Joe Firmage: A l i e n c o n s p i r a c i e s F e l i x w a s s u s p e n d e d , he a d d e d , a n d

Jertising. A l t h o u g h t h e j o b of i n v o i c i n g is d o w n

he e x p e c t e d that Felix w o u l d r e c e i v e all the m o n e y

he Felix E d i t o r , with a d v e r t i s i n g in s t u d e n t p u b -

it w a s o w e d , a s s u m i n g no m o r e c o m p a n i e s w e n t

tions i n v a r i a b l y c a r r i e d o u t o n c r e d i t ,

credit

bankrupt. Exec o r d e r e d that M r C l i f f o r d c l e a r e d

trol is h a n d l e d b y t h e U n i o n ' s o w n f i n a n c e

the e n t i r e b a c k l o g of t h e i n v o i c e s b e f o r e Felix b e

artment. In a m e e t i n g w h i c h t o o k p l a c e l a t e r

a l l o w e d to go to p r e s s this w e e k .

Mr C l i f f o r d told Felix staff, " T h i s biz ar r e figure

Felix staff w e r e d e s c r i b e d a s feeling " f r u s t r a t e d "

ased on o b s c e n e i n c o m p e t e n c e from all p a r t i e s

at having a w e e k s ' w o r t h of w o r k go to w a s t e , a n d

olved... it's a s h a m e n o - o n e a s k e d me about it."

all felt t h a t if E x e c o r M r P o l l a r d h a d a p r o b l e m

fe a d d e d , " T h e main p r o b l e m isn't s e n d i n g o u t

with their e d i t o r ' s c o n d u c t , t h e y s h o u l d be able to

Dices for this t e r m - m o s t i s s u e s have b e e n paid

talk to him f a c e - t o - f a c e r a t h e r t h a n m a k i n g d e c i -

with p r o f i t f r o m e a r l i e r t e r m s , w h i c h w a s a l l

sions behind closed doors.

loiced a n d s h o u l d h a v e b e e n p a i d by n o w . O u r

Following the re-instatement

It's weird, it's quirky, it ain't M e n

f l f a i l e r p e d signs off for (no year with o record-breaking 3 - p a g e

late last w e e k ,

liest p r o b l e m s t e m s f r o m M a r c h f i r s t . "

s h o r t l y b e f o r e E t i e n n e left f o r h i s h o l i d a y s , M r

Barchfirst w a s a m u l t i n a t i o n a l s t r a t e g y c o n s u l -

C l i f f o r d told staff, "It's a s h a m e that Felix, w h i c h

icy c o m p a n y , w h i c h e s s e n t i a l l y p r o v i d e d m a n -

has a l w a y s l o o k e d for t r a n s p a r e n c y a n d f a i r n e s s in

$§^k::k't§0

Thursday, so this week's are o

ment a d v i c e f o r Internet s t a r t - u p b u s i n e s s e s ,

the U n i o n , s h o u l d be t r e a t e d like this. If y o u have a

rough it s u r v i v e d t h e " b u r s t i n g " of t h e "Internet

p r o b l e m with s o m e o n e , y o u s h o u l d be a b l e to talk

ible" f a i r l y i n t a c t , t h e c o m p a n y l a t e r r a n i n t o

to them about it rather than making a l l e g a t i o n s a n d

jlems w h e n its C E O , J o e F i r m a g e , a n n o u n c e d

d e c i s i o n s behind p e o p l e s ' b a c k s . A s well a s m a k i n g

belief that all h u m a n t e c h n o l o g y w a s d e r i v e d m j aliens. H e later left in o r d e r to s e t up a p u b -

us m i s s a n i s s u e , it r e f l e c t s p r e t t y b a d l y on t h e

Guru CingagaS got followed §WAT t e t f e ; on •range...

..and that's it for now Nighty

whole Union."

F e l i x 121 1 C o v e r i m a g e : T o m B a i l e s s

• Felix • 27th June 2001

News

• n

Saturday 30th

trial t o u r s for

The

the

Hall w o u l d

staff and and

also

The

"London

like t o

friends to

learn a

There

June,

Open

House"

hosting"

season.

i n v i t e all I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e

students,

take a tour between 9 a m

little a b o u t it's

will b e

R o y a l A l b e r t H a l l is

and

history and

architecture.

coffee and

c r o i s s a n t for

free tea,

all

par

ticipants.

If y o u

w o u l d like t o

t a k e p a r t in t h i s u n i q u e e v e n t ,

c o n t a c t Sally H o w g e g o telephone

0 2 0

7 5 8 9

sallyh@royalalberthall.com

3 2 0 3

R e c r e a t i o n a l

C o l o u r s Tuesday above

night

and

port a n d

paid

beyond

represent

manpower

have

in the you

name

been

Inevitably,

there

A w a r d s

people

within

every o n e

Andrew Jurd

who

may

important thing to

have

Half Commitment

been

Half Commitment

Ellis W i l l i a m s

Half Achievement

Gunaratne

Enrique W i n g

Colours Colours

Colours

Full A c h i e v e m e n t

Colours

Half C o m m i t m e n t

committee

h a v e tried o u r

wouldn't

a n d , whilst

who

have

gone

b e s t t o e n c o u r a g e , sup-

be anywhere

overlooked is t h a t y o u

everyone

colours each

and,

without the

has m a d e

skill

and

doubt,

some

for their a m a z i n g effort this

M a x i m Steinberg Helen Jones Matthew

contribu-

with

y o u r v a l u e to a

year:

Half Social

Colours

Half C o m m i t m e n t

Colours

Full C o m m i t m e n t

Full A c h i e v e m e n t Full C o m m i t m e n t

Rajiv C h a k r a d a r a n

will d i s a g r e e

prove

Half Achievement

Nithianandarajah

Barry G a l e

of y o u

Half Achievement

Dawson

Katie Sykes

different

year.

don't n e e d a certificate

Ben O g b o r n e Colours

clubs

society.

Hemraj

Colours

Half Achievement

Paris D e l i g i a n n a k i s

Colours

Half Achievement

Mithi Shafiq

recreational

executive,

are awarded

remember

Half C o m m i t m e n t

John Richardson Half C o m m i t m e n t Luke Rebbeck

the

of you

the other h a n d , sincere thanks to the following

Daniel Carrivick

A n n o u n c e m e n t

i n v e s t s in it's c l u b o r

of their club, only a handful

are

C o m m i t t e e

c o u r s e o f this a c a d e m i c year, w e

member

2 2 0 2 .

C l u b s

individuals

impressed with e a c h a n d

o u r c h o i c e s . But, the

Indika

the

Ext

of their c l u b . Whilst w e , the

over the

that e a c h individual

tions to the running

club. O n

homage

please

Colours

Full C o m m i t m e n t

Colours

• 27th June 2001 • Felix •

Ball m a k e s a

profit

\great night was had by most...

IK E D W A R D S rarly

indications

suggest

that

last

L S a t u r d a y ' s S u m m e r B a l l b r o k e with trajition and m a d e m o n e y - a s well a s providing .igreat n i g h t ' s e n t e r t a i n m e n t •As p l a n n e d , t h e a t t r a c t i o n s r a n g e d f r o m (le J a m e s T a y l o r

Quartet

live

the

(ueen's L a w n to last minute s t a n d - i n s D o p e imugglaz in the G r e a t H a l l . A miniature fairround o f f e r e d D o d g e m s a n d a c o c o n u t s h y , thile i n d o o r s h a d a c a s i n o , f r e e i c e - c r e a m nd a c h e e s y d i s c o , to n a m e but a f e w of the Itractions. Following the r e l e a s e of an a d d i t i o n a l 150 ckets t w o d a y s b e f o r e h a n d , C h a i r I d r i s larding e s t i m a t e s t h a t s o m e 1 3 5 0 t i c k e t s iere s o l d , w i t h at least an e s t i m a t e d £ 2 , 5 0 0 i go to t h e U n i o n , a l t h o u g h w h e t h e r

this

pes into c e n t r a l f u n d s or to next y e a r ' s ball iunclear. Mr H a r d i n g p a i d t r i b u t e to the v o l u n t e e r s to w o r k e d " t i r e l e s s l y " for up to a w e e k to '<t up t h e v e n u e , a s w e l l a s s t e w a r d s a n d Inion s t a f f w h o " w e n t t h e e x t r a m i l e

lake the e v e n i n g a s u c c e s s . "

. . . a n d

it's

Q u a d

for

q u i c k

pit

in a,

B e i t

a h e m ,

s t o p

F r i d a y 1st J u n e s a w s t u d e n t s a n d s t a f f t a k i n g p a r t in t h e P i t S t o p C h a l l e n g e in B e i t Q u a d . W i t h a large crowd present and fierce compet i t i o n , all that was lacking from the F o r m u l a O n e a t m o s p h e r e was the p e t r o l . S p e c i a l c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s a r e d e s e r v e d by t h e t e a m in c h a r g e of t h e c a r , w h o m a n a g e d to g e t it t h r o u g h t h e B e i t Q u a d a r c h d e s p i t e h a l f t h e p a s s a g e w a y b e i n g c l o s e d off f o r p a v i n g - w i t h out p u t t i n g a s c r a t c h on it. A l t h o u g h t h e t e a m s v a r i e d in t h e i r l e v e l s of e x p e r t i s e and c o - o r d i n a t i o n , o r g a n i s e r s said t h a t t h e y w e r e i m p r e s s e d by t h e l e v e l of t e c h n i c a l s k i l l s on d i s p l a y .

• Felix • 27th June 2001

•

News

STAFF NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE OF SCIENCE. TECHNOLOGY, MEDICINE & MANAGEMENT

Distorter

I s s u e 109 27th June 2004

R e c t o r ' s

n e w

office

u n v e i l e d

A V I S I O N for the future- an impression of the Rector's state of the art new

The building was designed by M ' l u d Foster & Partners, who also designed

management suite, made possible by his donation to the College from

That Wobbly Bridge Across The Thames, That Stadium We Can't Afford and

Glaxosmithkline. The new office oversees the main entrance to College,

the B M S . Lord Foster is expected to sell the cigarette packet he scribbled it

allowing all undesirables and speaker salesmen to be silenced discreetly upon

on to the College for an extra £ l m .

trying to enter the College. It also allows for the partial obliteration of the

Meanwhile, Lord Foster is also in the process of designing an open air car-

Mines Building, continuing a project which dates back to the late 1950s.

park in Dalby Court. Estates are in the process o f spending £140,000 on trees as part of a scheme to transform the area.

Imperial announces

new

principles by T O M A N D E R S O N T H E C O L L E G E has announced its four new principles, the confirmation o f which w i l l be crucial to its future. They are: Professor M o Money (Glaxo-Smithkline, formerly o f I C S M ) , L o r d Steel N . Glass (formerly o f Foster and Partners), D r R. U . Belt-Tightening (from the private sector) and M r Lucrative Overseas-Fees (from the Management School). The Rector, Sir Richard Sykes, also announced that he w i l l be working very closely with the four new principles. Speaking to a selection o f high-profile alumni and royalty at last week's commemoration o f the Royal School o f M i n e s ' second anniversary, Sir Richard said, "These are pre-eminent principles which are respected internationally in work in science, engineering and medicine... and are the ideal leaders to help the College evolve in this direction." Sir Richard's speech was the highlight o f a weekend's celebrations to commemorate the second anniversary o f the R S M . Entitled Undermining History, a packed crowd in the B i l l H . Gates Department o f Physics N o . 4 ( U K ) heard

T M f f f U S T students moved imo the tra»i>i'or»Hi} B e i i Hall t h « « * * '" as the project finished m time and <>» budget. T h e four fe» ,c! lir

tales from veteran students about the College's bygone days, when subjects as obscure as Geology, Materials and Mathematics were widely taught and considered vital for the future o f the country.

^^^^S^^^^^^S^M§i:W^^^M3SM | w a l l and all tt\m»

E ff f ff f f :

hav« «atc-tif-the-*n dangling cables. Pictured.

The first studeni u« move hi c x p k « « She e t c h i n g new brick s e w * A p u b l i c a t i o n of I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e R e s e a r c h L t d - " W e find shit out"

Etienne Pollard

dead

(ributes trickle in as Deputy President killed on holiday l EDWARDS

l a s t up to a w e e k , s o o n m a d e it

•perial C o l l e g e U n i o n w a s s h o c k e d on

e v i d e n t that s o m e t h i n g w a s s e r i -

p o n d a y a s n e w s c a m e in t h a t

Deputy

ously wrong.

esident ( F i n a n c e & S e r v i c e s )

Etienne

Individuals with Portillaxis are

Hard had a p p a r e n t l y d i e d w h i l e on holida y

c a p a b l e of living well into old a g e ,

New Y o r k .

with

NYPD o f f i c i a l s s a y it is t o o s o o n t o

tell

Lord

Tebbit,

Baronness

T h a t c h e r a n d Ian P a i s l e y

ictly what c a u s e d M r P o l l a r d ' s d e a t h , but

well-known sufferers.

ewitness r e p o r t s s u g g e s t t h a t t h e

v i c t i m s live with the

being

However, permanent

iparently " d i s a p p e a r e d up his o w n a r s e . "

possibility that an attack can be

One e y e w i t n e s s s a i d , "I w a s w a l k i n g a l o n g

f a t a l - e i t h e r to t h e i r c a r e e r s o r

Ith A v e n u e w h e n I s a w an E n g l i s h g u y look-

their lives. E n t r e p r e n e u r Richard

rj really l o s t . H e w a s w a l k i n g a l o n g

B r a n s o n nearly had his

the

public

«ement w i t h no i d e a w h e r e he w a s , a n d

image

snple w e r e bumpin g into him. T h a t ' s w h e n I

P o r t i l l a x i s . w h i c h he b l a m e s for his

|)lised t h a t he c o u l d n ' t a c t u a l l y s e e w h a t

involvement in the r a i l w a y s , w h i l e

ruined

by a n a t t a c k

* going on a r o u n d him b e c a u s e he had his

N o e l E d m o n d s is b e l i e v e d to have

«d inserted into his o w n r e c t u m . "

s u f f e r e d a fatal a t t a c k six m o n t h s

Mr P o l l a r d is b e l i e v e d to h a v e

suffered

m the rare c o n d i t i o n , k n o w n a s PortiIlaxis

ago. It is b e l i e v e d that during a s e r i o u s a t t a c k of

d e s c r i b i n g him a s " s w e e t , i n d u s t r i o u s a n d a

ce having s t a r t e d at Imperial C o l l e g e t h r e e

P o r t i l l a x i s , the s u f f e r e r is u n a b l e to

srs ago. D e s p i t e its d i s a b l i n g e f f e c t s , H e

their h e a d , w h i c h is graduall y s u c k e d d e e p e r

Felix E d i t o r J o h n C l i f f o r d s a i d "It is unfor-

s still able to c o m p l e t e t w o y e a r s of an ISE

in until the individual literally d i s a p p e a r s up

t u n a t e that M r P o l l a r d s h o u l d d i s a p p e a r up

jree a n d last F e b r u a r y w a s c o n v i n c i n g l y

their own arse. M a n y s e c r e t l y s u s p e c t that

his o w n a r s e s o c l o s e to the e n d of the t e r m .

icted D e p u t y

his spell as D P ( F & S ) w a s r e s p o n s i b l e for the

He will be s o r e l y m i s s e d - but his d e a t h s h o u l d

flaring up of his u n f o r t u n a t e c o n d i t i o n .

s e r v e a s a w a r n i n g to o t h e r s about the d a n -

President (Finance

and

[vices). A t the time, m o s t of C o l l e g e w e r e

extract

w a r e that he s u f f e r e d f r o m t h e rare c o n d i -

T r i b u t e s p o u r e d in f r o m p e o p l e a c r o s s

|n, but his r e p e a t e d a t t a c k s , w h i c h c o u l d

C o l l e g e , with President Hamish C o m m o n

good deputy".

g e r s of this c o n d i t i o n . " M r P o l l a r d w a s 21 w h e n he d i s a p p e a r e d .

brief DOC SOC BACK

D a v i d T h u r s t o n a n d his entire staff of

fifteen

gery, a n d C o l l e g e m e d i c a l e n g i n e e r s are cur-

was

make

rently w o r k i n g to p e r f e c t a s e n s e of touch for

DocSoc

N o t t i n g h a m a " m i n o r p l a y e r " in t h e field of

the robot, in o r d e r to allow it to d e t e c t direct-

amittee h a v e b e e n r e i n s t a t e d by C i t y &

c a n c e r r e s e a r c h . H e a d d e d that the u n i v e r s i -

ly what sort of t i s s u e it is in c o n t a c t w i t h .

lilds U n i o n for the r e m a i n d e r of t h e y e a r ,

t y ' s a c c e p t a n c e of a £ 3 . 8 m grant from B r i t i s h

[solving them of any b l a m e but having f e w

American Tobacco was

Jctical c o n s e q u e n c e s . T h e m o v e c a m e a f t e r

made without consultation with academic

(in a fairly m e a n i n g l e s s m o v e , the

apparent a g r e e m e n t b e t w e e n A s h A r y a I

"humiliating"

and

would

"misguided...and

FLOWER GENES

staff."

Dep R e p , w h o originally brought a pro-

>al forward to s u s p e n d D o c S o c ) a n d J a c k ik, the o u t g o i n g C h a i r .

L o r d S a i n s b u r y , the s c i e n c e m i n i s t e r , last

ROBODOC

week

opened

Imperial's

new

Genetic

T h e r a p i e s C e n t r e , h o u s e d in t h e n e w M D R A r i D a r z i , a s u r g e o n at S t M a r y ' s h o s p i t a l ,

CANCER MONEY

(Flowers)

B u i l d i n g . The centre will

work

has s u c c e s s f u l l y d e m o n s t r a t e d a robotic sur-

t o w a r d s finding n e w w a y s to use g e n e t i c s to

g e o n on 22 p a t i e n t s w i t h a r a n g e of c o n d i -

t r e a t d i s e a s e s , a n d its £ 8 . 5 m c o s t

Researchers at N o t t i n g h a m U n i v e r s i t y last

t i o n s f r o m h e r n i a s to t i s s u e r e m o v a l . L a s t

mainly from

|ek h e a t e d up t h e d e b a t e o v e r c o r p o r a t e

month, a c a r p e n t e r from B e d f o r d b e c a m e the

Foundation.

first c a n c e r patient in the c o u n t r y to have his

C e n t r e ' s o p e n p l a n l a b s w e r e d e s i g n e d by

ansorship w h e n an e n t i r e c a n c e r r e s e a r c h

M i t s u b i s h i and the Drawing

on the

came

Wolfson

BMS,

the

m resigned in p r o t e s t at a d o n a t i o n f r o m a

t u m o u r r e m o v e d by a r obot . A l l 2 2 p a t i e n t s

Foster & Partners, described as a "research

acco c o m p a n y . T h e U n i v e r s i t y ' s h e a d of

have had s i g n i f i c a n t l y s h o r t e r r e c o v e r y t i m e s

hotel".

icer r e s e a r c h s a i d t h a t t h e d e p a r t u r e

t h a n t h o s e w h o had u n d e r g o n e n o r m a l s u r -

• Felix • 27th June

2001

News

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S y s t e m s

Insurance and genetic testing to doubt e v e r y o n e at Imperial w e l c o m e d the

European

'ittsburgh f i n d i n g s on A l z h e i m e r ' s p u b l i s h e d

S y s t e m s . W h a t s u r p r i s e d me most w a s the

O b s e r v a t o r y on

Health

a n i n d i v i d u a l ' s s u c c e s s in l i f e , t h i s

Care

made

s e n s e - w e w e r e i n t r o d u c i n g a s e n s e of fair-

larlier this m o n t h . T h e s t u d y identified a pre-

lack of a c e n t r a l E u r o p e a n legal ruling on the

n e s s into an unfairly c h a o t i c w o r l d . A s w e d i s -

ciusly u n c h a r a c t e r i z e d g e n e t i c m u t a t i o n a s

s u b j e c t . W h i l e in H o l l a n d g e n e t i c information

cover more and more genetic factors that

King a s i g n i f i c a n t risk f a c t o r for the d i s e a s e ,

i n c l u d e s family h i s t o r y and c a n not g e n e r a l l y

c o n t r i b u t e to all a s p e c t s of o u r lives this nat-

(hen p r e s e n t a l o n g s i d e o t h e r k n o w n g e n e t i c

be u s e d by i n s u r a n c e c o m p a n i e s , G e r m a n law

ural s o c i a l i s m is and will c o n t i n u e to be e r o d -

Buses. Y e t a s e d i t o r s p i e c e d t o g e t h e r

r e q u i r e s that a p p l i c a n t s r e v e a l all

e d . C o u p l e d with the i n c r e a s i n g l y d e t e r m i n i s -

the

jtest ' s t u d y p r o m p t s c u r e h o p e ' h e a d l i n e s , datives of s u f f e r e r s c o u l d be f o r g i v e n

known

t i c w o r l d - v i e w of o u r b l a m e - c u l t u r e , it is a

medical information.

recipe for s o c i a l d i s a s t e r .

for

lishing s c i e n t i s t s w o u l d l e a v e the a r e a a l o n e .

T h e r e is (of c o u r s e ) a m o r e g e n e r a l e t h i c a l

Vhy? G e n e t i c t e s t i n g for a d i s e a s e b e n e f i t s

and

here.

I s t a r t e d with a p i e c e of s c i e n t i f i c r e s e a r c h ,

[roups o t h e r t h a n t h o s e at risk - it b e n e f i t s

S c i e n t i f i c k n o w l e d g e about our s p e c i e s , be it

and noted that e v e n the b e s t - i n t e n d e d s c i -

isurance f i r m s .

g e n e t i c t e s t s for d i s e a s e or p s y c h o l o g i c a l

e n c e will r a i s e p r o b l e m s a n d i s s u e s b e y o n d

philosophical

issue

lurking

e v a l u a t i o n s o f i n t e l l i g e n c e , is a p p e a r i n g in

its o r i g i n a l d o m a i n . T h e r e is s i m p l y no s u c h

onsider t h e f o l l o w i n g s i t u a t i o n , s e t s o m e -

e v e r i n c r e a s i n g a m o u n t s . It a l l o w s us to dis-

thing a s o b j e c t i v e e t h i c a l l y neutral r e s e a r c h .

.here list

a l s o

in e a r l y century

Insurers

g g

it's

iritain. Y o u r fa inly

has

history

nice

think

D u r i n g my t i m e at Imperial I w a s c o n s t a n t l y

t i n g u i s h b e t w e e n individuais on

1 1 * *

k n o w

a m a z e d by how little i n t e r e s t many s t u d e n t s s h o w e d in the h u m a n i t i e s a n d s o c i a l s c i e n c e s , i n d e e d o f t e n in a n y f i e l d s o u t s i d e of

t h e b a s i s of h e a l t h a n d

their

o w n . W h e n a s k e d the reply w a s o f t e n not s o

llzheimer's a n d a n e w g e n e t i c t e s t is a v a i l -

a b i l i t y like n e v e r b e f o r e . C o n s i d e r i n s u r a n c e

ible, a l l o w i n g y o u to s e e if y o u too c a r r y the

a g a i n : In the old d a y s w e all e s s e n t i a l l y paid

m u c h a p e r c e i v e d lack of i n t e r e s t , but a lack

nutation. Y o u u n d e r s t a n d t h a t c a r r y i n g t h e

t h e p r e m i u m for t h o s e u n f o r t u n a t e s o u l s w h o

of utility; "I don't think it's relevant to what I

aulty g e n e d o e s not m e a n y o u will get t h e

pop their clogs three d e c a d e s before

do" would c o m e the r e s p o n s e . W e l l ,

lisease, j u s t t h a t y o u a r e m o r e likely to. In

t i m e . N o w f e w of us a r e p r e p a r e d to s u b s i -

my event, it w o u l d be nice to know , wouldn't

d i z e t h e p o l i c i e s of t h o s e w i t h a high c h a n c e

nsurers a l s o t h i n k it's n i c e to k n o w . W h a t

their

think

again.

of d y i n g early, e s p e c i a l l y if t h e y k n e w the risk

Ed Sexton

f a c t o r s b u t f a i l e d t o d e c l a r e t h e m to

and former editor of

the

is a freelance

journalist

and

writer

Felix.

Ed@existent.co.uk

insurer.

eally b u g s t h e m is w h e n y o u k n o w a n d t h e y lon't. T h i s is p e r f e c t l y u n d e r s t a n d a b l e ; if y o u

A similar

iere to be c a r r y i n g the m u t a t i o n o n e of the

example

hypothetical

irst things y o u w o u l d p r o b a b l y do is up y o u r

education. S u p p o s e as

fe a s s u r a n c e p o l i c y . Insurers are quite right-

t h e c e n t u r y d r a g s on w e

comes

from

1 s u s p i c i o u s of the p o s s i b i l i t y of f r a u d , a n d

l e a r n h o w to e v a l u a t e a

» will a s k y o u to r e v e a l t h e r e s u l t s of a n y

child's natural

jenetic t e s t s y o u have t a k e n , just a s required

a b i l i t y to l e a r n . P r i v a t e s c h o o l s will begin to list

bra p l e t h o r a of o t h e r m e d i c a l t e s t s .

the Ihe C a t c h - 2 2 s i t u a t i o n that d e v e l o p s is s i m i -

test

other

among

entry

ar to t h e H I V - i n s u r a n c e d i l e m m a . If y o u

ments.

o b j e c t to t h e i r

»ill have no i n f o r m a t i o n to g o o n , e x c e p t for

little

isking t h e u s u a l l i f e s t y l e q u e s t i o n s . N o Jritish i n s u r e r will f o r c e y o u to t a k e g e n e t i c tests. C o n s e q u e n t l y a v o i d b e i n g t e s t e d a n d our p r e m i u m s a r e likely to s t a y at their curent s u p p o s e d l y low level. O n the o t h e r h a n d , lou want to k n o w , don't y o u ? W h e n it c o m e s :o filling up t h e p o l i c y a p p l i c a t i o n , h o w e v e r , f r a u d if y o u f a i l

ieclare the result: T h e A s s o c i a t i o n of B r i t i s h insurers' p r e - 1 9 9 9 p o l i c y s t a t e m e n t

reads

People w i s h i n g to t a k e out n e w life i n s u r a n c e

their

require-

aven't b e e n t e s t e d an i n s u r a n c e c o m p a n y

IOU r i s k c o m m i t t i n g

mental

Parents

will

talented

darlings

being

placed alongside

kids

w h o , l e t s f a c e it, never

going

are learn

much. A n d for the first t i m e t h e y will h a v e s c i entific

t e s t s to

ISpm-aom

prove

t h e i r p o i n t . H o w l o n g in t h e f a c e of s u c h k n o w l -

p r o m i s e to e d u c a t e a l l ,

of w h a t e v e r ability?

edge

can

the

state

5 o

m 7

a p

n -

d 1

jolicies will c o n t i n u e to be required to report ihe r e s u l t s of a n y g e n e t i c t e s t s " . T h e r e is a

Our entire welfare sys-

real c h a n c e t h a t p e o p l e will a v o i d p o s s i b l e

tem

>arly d e t e c t i o n of a d i s e a s e s i m p l y to k e e p

i d e a of

;heir p r e m i u m s d o w n .

helping the

is b u i l t the

upon

Bouncey Castle Water

Pistols

the

fortunate unfortunate

B a l l o o n s Fum E n t e r t a i n m e n t s

through selective taxatone of this is particularly n e w . I w a s r e m i n d -

t i o n . In t h e

;d of t h e d e b a t e a f t e r r e a d i n g a n a r t i c l e in

century,

twentieth

when

lSE M a g a z i n e ( L S E ' s alumni rag), w r i t t e n by

h a r d to i d e n t i f y

Vina D i x o n a n d D r Elias M o s s i a l o s from the

factors a s s o c i a t e d with

• Felix • 27th June

2001

After 7pm: FREEIents card

was

genetic

bacardm

£2,00 iCU, £2.50 others

iCU IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION

Feature

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"It

is a busy night

and

a pint

knocked

accidently

over. In

heated argument

Free advice and help with any problem or question you might have.

someone

To make an appointment either drop by the *CU reception, first floor Beit Quad, or phone 020-75948060. If you wish to contact the adviser directly, phone 020-7594-8067 or e-mail advice@ic.ac.uk. A broad range of information leaflets is available in the Union reception area for your convenience.

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S U M M E R

T E R M

bar

the

crowd

starts

jostled.

and

D o you want to get involved? Can you calm a tense situation and want to help make the Union a safe and friendly place for all? Long term positions are available in the Union Stewards team. There are variable hours and rates of pay depending on your timetable. Training is provided. For more information please either drop by the i C U reception, phone the entertainments manager, Hamden Al-Rubaie, on 020-7594-8068 or e-mail ents@ic.ac.uk for details.

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I C t t June 26,20

T U E S D A Y F i n a l T r i v i a n i g h t o f the T e r m ! - F R E E ! S h o w us what y o u learned this year. £ 5 0 prize! 26 J u n e D r i n k o r D r i v e by B - F r e e - Test your driving skills on Scalextric, Playstation & more. F R E E to supporting halls, £ 1 to others. D o o r s 7.30pm. @ d B ' s bar.

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S u m m e r Chill O u t -

t u r n u p ! t u n a ini chill o u t ! Dust off your flip-flops & put on your swimmies, because school's out for the

summer.

• D J s in the Q u a d a n d in d B ' s . • Drink s a m p l e s from Archer's (1pm - 5pm) and Bacardi (7pm - 1am). • Chill Out Party: 12pm - 2 a m . • Side Acts, Freebees, B B Q .

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Tickets from iCU reception,

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Details may be changed

at any time, ffl

o d i t o n a l E d i t o r i a l

S t a f f

I ImIG TO CJO inances. U n f o r t u n a t e l y that's all I've heard

deadline, while accounting can be put off until the

about for the past w e e k after our mild financial

next time I'm free, but then it's time to start the

Editor

John Clifford

r sis last week.;; Crisis is maybe a bit strong, but

it's not a s bad a s it s o u n d s . K n o w i n g that o u r liajor adver i \

i||ould sleep, have a social and family life- which heve all suffered for fairly shit wages S h o w s corn-

iirtle sooner may have helped though. Your beloved student newspaper may have lost •j few t h o u s a n d pounds in t h e dot c o m bubble jurst, but it s e e m s r e t r i e v a b l e - : : w h a t really :

Don't get m e wrong. J love this job, but in any

t h a t g i v i n g b o t h f i n a n c i a l arid m a n a g e m e n t

/as how the

Onion's Exec happily discu;

suspended

ble Both me and Da v e m a d e accounting screw-

elix and talked about suing m e for money our

ups, and it wouldn't be Will's fault if he did next

advertisers owe us, without even asfeng me for my

'•:•',; ii •

jpinton or defence O K , the

of staff is fanly small compared to the size of our

Unless, of

D r e w Nienhuis

Music

A n d y Houldsworth & j

Restaurants

J a n a Natkunarajah

Science

Matt Kaplan

Sport & C a r t o o n s

icemed, but

someoc

Jonathan Matthews

Film

Tom Bailess I piofessional organisation it would b e recognised

annoyed me o v i | ttijs whole :

Books

lain Angus & J o White

Graphic D e s i g n . . J u s t i n van der Toorn Photography

J o n a s Lindsay

Proofing

Lucy Penman

to sort out;

:he finances, but I have effectively been single-

W r i t e r s

.e-.:;;.':--" '".-=!, :

andedly managing a compan y with a £100.000

J | W e l l , e n o u g h of m e & F e l i x I w a s h o p i n g I

w n o v e r , a n d I think I've d o n e a n alright j o b .

wouldn't have to do something like that for my last

Eventually .H

' , ,

,;d out and

William Foster, Rik Edwards, M a t t Kaplan, Tom Bailess, J o n a t h a n M a t t h e w s , Alisdair W r e n ,

; to

p " i f e c t l y honest, but I hope

Stef Evans, lain A n g u s

•jet on with my life- which

that whatever I d o I work with!

Katherine Dyer-Perry,

sill be nice.

people a s supportive, hard

danced H d

the people I've worked with

I matters, I c a n | believe :

this y e a r

is my last issue, find

T h e r e ' s a list o f

e end of the y e a r , i t ' s

people I want to thank, but I

ally s c a r y h o w fast the

a l r e a d y k n o w i t ' s not c o m

iar's g o n e , E a c h y e a r

plete, s o time for the o s c a r

3t seems to be s o much

night thing

ster. th

«'°#

& J o h n Clifford

5 c; mqsl'iof;

"Turning to non-financial

«, and taking this to its gica! extreme i'li be dead

Felix, The Portacabins, Prince C o n s o r t R d ,

e v e r s u p p o r t i v e family a n d

London, S W 7 2 B B

flatmates for the

/ice and

Internal tel: 5 8 0 7 2

patience Ditto tl

snrtters

External tel & fax:

r>::. ne

nd, I'm sure t h e r e ' s an

J o n a s , J o h n & Gareth

Thanks to my

amazing

five " y e a r s " . N e v e r

P h o t o g r a p h e r s

amc

0 2 0 7594 8072 friend Ii ^isettse

E-mail: felix@ic.ac.uk

i.anfill|ii > well a s

:J'."V • H ' ::• : • • •

< •••'<••

pd,: W "isiStifLlV

• • :•: II

•• • ". ..

•

;

id doing the business side (advertising manage•p:

Felix is produced for and on behalf of Imperial C o l l e g e Union M e d i a Group

of apologies to people

office is

always a state, sorry

se6 a

moody, sotry for t h e S

len 1 get

Units B 2 & B 3 , Hatton S q u a r e ,

earned away and do

f we've

16 - 16a Baldwins G a r d e n s ,

i t irtten-

London E C 1 N 7 R J

:ntia) bit

Felix is a registered newspaper:

i talking

I S S N 1040 - 0711

and is printed at M C P Litho Limited,

•.••'•][. sA;,|.^.' i\

gathering, page layout, staff recruitment & ;

jwe a lot

• ,••;.'

d be no

... • ' - • i

| : e - r p f-c a i d , v.ho I " d v e to admit I've never

The opinions

t; ifthiS a professional organisation I would be out on

essarily

t Felix • 27th June 2001

are sole-

those of the Editor, Felix or

Imperial College

feat at accounting- work on each issue has to be h e in a very snort t i m e s c a ' e with immovable

expressed

ly those of the authors, and not nec-

Union

Johnny

Editorial

Thankyou and goodbye A

s the s u n s t r e a m s into my o f f i c e I r e c a l l the last t i m e I s w i t c h e d my o f f i c e fan on

(during J u l y last y e a r ) , and I find

s i o n s n e x t y e a r o n h o w it d e a l s w i t h the

by Hamish Common President, Imperial College Union

CCUs

w r i t i n g m y last e v e r c o l u m n f o r F e l i x - m y

in the light of this n e w faculty struc-

ture.

myself it'. T h i s is r i d i c u l o u s ! Ev

L a s t of a l l , I w o u l d like to a c k n o w l e d g e the

if y o u w e r e n e v e r

| r e s i d e n t s of L i n s t e a d H a l l , which I

f i r s t o n e b e i n g a f e w y e a r s a g o in guise

h a v e s p e n t f ar t o o little time in this

as ' W e s t m i n s t e r E y e ' . It's the e n d of

y e a r , e v e n t h o u g h I a p p a r e n t l y live

N o v e m b e r 1 9 9 6 in my f o r m e r

a n o t h e r y e a r for the s t u d e n t p o p u l a -

t h e r e : t h a n k s n a t u r a l l y g o e s to the

tion at Imperial and for s o m e the e n d

w a r d e n i n g t e a m a n d r e - a p p s includ-

s o m e of

our

time

ing C h i e f S a r a h , C l a r e of Bradford,

Imperial

Scary

College.

Clare,

Industrious

W h e n I first s t a r t e d at the U n i o n

Less

scary Emma,

B a b s , R e b e c c a & Mischa

k n e w I w a s t a k i n g o v e r an o r g a n i s a -

t h e I m p o s t e r , A l i s t a i r , S a n d y and any

tion of i m m e n s e v a r i e t y a n d c o m p l e x -

o t h e r s w h o s h o u l d n ' t t a k e offence I

ity w i t h c l u b s a n d s o c i e t i e s s p a n n i n g

can't r e c a l l t h e i r n a m e s . T h a n k s too

an u n p a r a l l e l e d b r e a d t h of a c t i v i t y . I

to my landing n e i g h b o u r s T o m , Andy

a m still learning a b o u t o t h e r a c t i v i t i e s

a n d S a c h a , p l u s B r a d a n d Rik who

w e do t o d a y . I r e m e m b e r a c a r e f u l l y -

effectively

p h r a s e d s e t of g e n e r a l p o l i c i e s f r o m

helped re-invigorate

my e l e c t i o n c a m p a i g n including bring-;;

f u t u r e of t h e

ing d e c i s i o n - m a k i n g c l o s e r to

w h i l s t t a k i n g up m u c h of the Linstead

stu-l

d e n t s , n e g o t i a t i n g c o n s t r u c t i v e l y but f i r m l y with the C o l l e g e a n d c o n s i d e r i n g the U n i o n ' s role in a m u l t i - c a m p u s C o l l e g e . I a d m i t

I've

d o n e s o m e , had o t h e r s do s o m e for m e , a n d done less o n

f f

a s p e c t o f m y job this n

Union

w e r e t h e r e to c o n s p i r e a g a i n s t s t u d e n t s - I

Rector,

can't b e l i e v e s o m e o n e w o u l d t a k e a s e n i o r

Sykes. Despite

job in a u n i v e r s i t y w h o d i d . H o w e v e r , I have

fears

learnt that t h e r e a r e a v a r i e t y of i n d i v i d u a l s

m a n y s t u d e n t s that he

within the C o l l e g e from those who s ee the

w o u l d a t t e m p t to t u r n

s t u d e n t v i e w a s integral to how t h e y o p e r a t e

it i n t o a s t u d e n t l e s s

to t h o s e w h o k n o w b e t t e r than us m o r e lowly

research

b e i n g s on what is b e s t for us. T h i s has b e e n

have f o u n d S i r R i c h a r d

gender-specific

G o o d luck a n d g o o d b y e ! Hamish

you

without the

Sir

initial

expressed

institute,

s o m e t i m e s illuminating and s o m e t i m e s frust r a t i n g . It is s a t i s f y i n g to s e e a C o l l e g e - w i d e

cerned with

p o l i c y c h a n g e a s the result of y o u r input on

issues and as interest-

con-

student

w h a t ' s b e s t for s t u d e n t s , l e s s s o w h e n p e o -

ple c o n s i s t e n t l y r e f u s e to d i s c u s s a n i s s u e

in q u a l i t y

a f f e c t i n g s t u d e n t s w i t h y o u in t h e h o p e of

r e s e a r c h . A n d he d o e s

teaching

quality

plan to k e e p us all here the

d a t e , or b e c a u s e t h e y can't i m a g i n e s t u d e n t s

for

could make a useful contribution.

future! The new faculty structure,

indefinite though plans

the

a r e n o r m a l l y v e r y k e e n to h e l p s t u d e n t s in

original

t r o u b l e a n d , c u r i o u s l y e n o u g h , o n e of

the

done without meaning-

m o r e d e p r e s s i n g a n d s u r p r i s i n g a s p e c t s of

ful c o n s u l t a t i o n with us

this y e a r has b e e n the u n w i l l i n g n e s s of m a n y

should certainly bene-

s t u d e n t s to a p p r o a c h t h e U n i o n w h e n

fit t a u g h t a n d r e s e a r c h

were

a r e in t r o u b l e . T h e r e w a s e v e n a s t u d e n t liv-

students

in t h e

long

ing in my o w n halls of r e s i d e n c e w h o did not

run.

Union

will

a p p r o a c h me for a month

because she

i t s e l f n e e d to c o m e to

a s s u m e d 'I w o u l d be too b u s y t o o d e a l with

some courageous deci-

The

new

Richard

to be g e n u i n e l y

Union

to t a l k of t h e C o l l e g e

the C o l l e g e . I don't and n e v e r did think t h e y

they

bandwidth

profession

It w o u l d b e d i f f i c u l t

mentioning

H a v i n g s a i d that, the C o l l e g e a n d its staff

network

my faith in the

medical

anatomical research.

problems

d e n t s , or e v e n w a n t to c h a t .

p o s t s is the a m o u n t of time n e g o t i a t i n g w i t h

later

v^ouj

with C o l l e g e , landlords, staff, other stu-

a n d its s t a f f

p r e s e n t i n g s o m e f a i t a c c o m p l i at a

our

c l u b s a n d s o c i e t i e s t h e U n i o n is a l w a y s t h e r e

Sometimes lluminating and s o m e t i m e s frustrating

y e a r w h i c h s e p a r a t e s it f r o m o t h e r

icicu

to h e l p w h e n y o u ' r e d o w n , h a v e

o t h e r s A

k e e n on u s s o c i a l s c e n e 01

l i v e d t h e r e a n d together

into r ufcber F i n a l l y a n d

g o t

w a n t

g r i p s

m a k e

w i t h s o m e

y o u r

s t u d i e s

c a s h ?

Union catering is looking for staff for the next academic year to work in dB's and DaVincis' catering outlets. There are variable hours available depending on your timetable. A l l training is provided so no experience is necessary. Benefits include College contributory pension scheme and holiday pay entitlement. Your meal is provided during each shift worked. To join the friendly team in union catering either drop by DaVincis or phone the catering manager, Nicky Slavid, on 020-7594-8080 for more information.

iCU IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION

Work foryourself. Work at t h e Union... ...and make a difference to your social life.

27th June 2001 â&#x20AC;˘ Felix*

FED UP MISSING OUT ON ALL THE EXCITEMENT?!?

FOR ICU RAG! W a g i n g

w a r

Imperial

b o r e d o m

NEAREST RECRUITING STATION 2 8

All

J u n e ,

8 p m

w e l c o m e , n e w

i d e a s

U n i o n

e s p e c i a l l y ...

visit

D i n i n g w e b

H a l l ,

e d i t o r s ,

F l o o r ,

R a g

w w w . s u . i c . a c . u k / r a g

M a g f o r

B e i t

Q u a d

e d i t o r s , d e t a i l s

Image Issues IC is often perceived as being full of geeky guys. How true is this, and what effect is it having? Felix asked these girls what they thought...

Laura, Medicine

TOM BAILESS

When

hat is the first thing you think of w h e n

you

think

a l s o s h o w that s o m e t h i n g is lacking , like you of

IC,

you

think

don't have any social life at all.

t h e r e is a p r o b l e m w i t h i t s i m a g e ? I'd s a y y e s . T h e r e is a lack of f e m a l e s , apart

Has

from in medicine. P e o p l e know about that lack

on y o u ?

r e s e a r c h ? O r just a place full of g e e k y g u y s ?

of females, and I think they draw their own c o n -

N o t really, no. I think it d o e s mean that the

These things may be true, and I have no prob-

clusions from it.

medics tend to club together. That is a bit of a

lem with the first two, but the last is a worry.

I think t h e r e are m o r e g e e k s at

people talk about IC? W o r l d - c l a s s tech-

n i c a l i n s t i t u t i o n ? C e n t r e of c u t t i n g

edge

Imperial,

IC's image had any consequences

problem, but I don't want to be a part of that.

W h e t h e r it is an issue d e p e n d s how seriously people t ake it. I've had the g o o d - n a t u r e d rib-

D o e s it m a t t e r t h a t I C h a s t h i s i m a g e ?

bing from f r i e n d s b a c k h o m e , but that's just

Y e a h , to a certain extent. I think people do go

annoying, rather than a major p r o b l e m . W h e n

elsewhere for social events. There is a stigma

you start to think that is how IC is perceived by

attached to Union events.

the majority, it m a k e s y o u sit up. W h a t surprised me is how almost every university guide

Are

from The Guardian

geeky?

to Virgin

Student

all make

there

any

girls

you

would

call

some reference to it. Felix has set out to find if

Not here, I have to say. I do know some, but I

p e o p l e w e r e w o r r i e d a b o u t this i m a g e , w h a t

haven't met a n y at IC. It's v e r y hard to label

effects it has on them, and whether indeed they

someone.

thought it w a s a bad thing at all. W h e n thinking about who to ask, w e thought it best to start

Do you think

with people who are being most unfairly tagged

spread?

the

i m a g e of

I C is w i d e -

with the "geeky guy" s t i g m a , that is, people w h o

N o , not really. I think it's more of an internal

are most definitely not geeky guys. W h a t ' s the

thing. P e o p l e just think that things are better

o p p o s i t e to a g e e k y g u y ? W h y , an o u t g o i n g ,

elsewhere, when really it's not.

confident, young woman of course!

Katie, Biology

W e found some volunteers for this task and asked them what they thought. To give a face to

W h a t do you think about the generalisa-

the voice, we decided to take some pictures to

tions that people make about IC?

go with it. I hope that these contrast with typical

There is an enormous mix of people here. There

ideas of the IC geek.

are p e o p l e f r o m c o u n c i l e s t a t e s , and I know people who have millionaire parents. O n e of my

because you have to be quite intelligent to get here, and also w e don't have any a r t s subjects.

Do you think that d e f i n e s a g e e k ? That, and s o m e o n e w h o k e e p s t h e m s e l v e s to t h e m s e l v e s , and doesn't socialise , people w h o keep their heads d o w n . It's really nothing to do with being good at your work. It's like they don't k n o w how to c o m m u n i c a t e , t h e y are just o b s e s s e d with their work. I think s o m e people resent others like that, b e c a u s e they are good at their work

Do you

think

being a geek

always

has

negative implications? I think it could have p o s i t i v e i m p l i c a t i o n s - it could mean that you are a really hard worker, you're d e d i c a t e d to your work, but that c o u l d

Feature

27th June 2001

â&#x20AC;˘ Felix â&#x20AC;˘

friends here is a single mother. A l l of the g e n -

and draw c o n c l u s i o n s from that. If they w e r e

eralisations are just untrue.

actually at the uni, they would s e e that there is s o much more to IC.

Do y o u t h i n k t h e r e

is a n i s s u e o f I C ' s

image o u t s i d e o f c o l l e g e ?

People at IC are a lot more single minded than at o t h e r unis a n d want to d o w e l l . W h e t h e r

Ithink it is a bit of a problem. The first impres-

they w e a r Iron M a i d e n T-shirts and tatty white

sion that a lot of people get is that of loads of

trainers is neither here nor there. It's an exter-

guys, a n d I s u p p o s e that s o m e do look geeky.

nal perception that these people are g e e k s .

What i s a g e e k ?

Elaine, Medicine

Someone w e a r i n g v e r y c o n v e n t i o n a l c l o t h e s ,

What

with their hair gr eas e d back, wearing g l a s s e s . I

a n d is t h a t i m a g e

always thought a geek w a s just a s t e r e o t y p e ,

I don't think it should matter what image s o m e

do y o u think of the IC's image, relevant?

but I have s e e n a f e w people round w h o really

one else has put on your university. It should

lit the image, just visually though - I don't know

only matter what you perceive yourself a s . If

them. T h e y lock themselves in their rooms, and

you're happy with yourself and what your per-

play with their c o m p u t e r s for hours. B u t gener-

sonality's like, it shouldn't really matter what

ally people a r e fine. A l l my friends a r e really

o t h e r p e o p l e have labelled y o u a s . If p e o p l e

outgoing.

[Do y o u t h i n k

is a p r o b l e m ?

Is it a

oegative t h i n g ? It would be a problem if it w a s the majority, but it is such a tiny minority, a n d I think y o u get them at a n y university. is a s s o c i a t e d with g e e k s .

Do y o u t h i n k t h a t t h e e x t e r n a l i m a g e o f IC h a s a f f e c t e d

you? Are you a geek?

Not directly, a n d I don't think it would, bec aus e think that the a c a d e m i c reputation of Imperial

(laughs)

outweighs a n y other image. They think "good

away in my r o o m .

W e l l , m a y b e . . . I don't lock m y s e l f

college", I don't think it's t h e first thing that Is it a n e g a t i v e

they think of.

image?

I don't think it i s . If it m a k e s us s e e m hard So w h y d o y o u t h i n k a l l o f t h e s e lal u n i v e r s i t y

guides have honed

w o r k i n g a n d intelligent, I think that's a g o o d

exter-

thing.

in o n

ibis? lone person just w a n d e r e d round the U n i o n ,

Heather, Medicine (again!)

Ihey probably would s e e more guys than girls

What do you feel about

h o w I C is p e r -

ceived by the public? I think it's a s h a m e that w e do have that image, but I think p e o p l e s h o u l d realise it's not like that, e s p e c i a l l y b e c a u s e there a r e more girls c o m e up to me a n d s a y "you're from IC" a n d

c o m i n g into IC now. T h e medical s c h o o l has

therefore it must mean a certain thing, I would-

c h a n g e d that s e x ratio quite a lot. W i t h a n y

n't let that bother me.

science subject, there is always that reputation

Do people judge you?

s o m e p e o p l e , b e c a u s e they don't want to be

A couple of people have said, "Oh you're at IC,

classified a s such, on the other hand, w e are a

it must b e really unnerving , there's s o many

lively bunch, and science isn't just about read-

males." W h e n you c o m e in the first year, it is

ing books.

of g e e k s a n d nerds. I think that could offend

kind of s t r a n g e at f i r s t . T h e r e a r e s o m a n y b o y s , but g r a d u a l l y it's O K , it's not t o o b a d .

Have

B o y s make great friends, if not better friends

from being a s s o c i a t e d with IC?

you had negative

experiences

than girls.

S o m e t i m e s people think I am nerd, but that's

It's natural that a certain proportion are going

just ridiculous. I think it's more of a male thing

to be "electronically gifted" [geeky], shall w e

to be honest. I have female friends w h o c a m e

say. W i t h s o many guys, I don't think that pro-

here to do engineering and chemistry, and they

portion is a n y worse than at other unis. A l s o ,

weren't put off by the image.

being a university of s c i e n c e a n d technology,

Feature

you do expect people to be more into sciencey

W h e r e does the image come from?

things, which is perhaps one of the things that

I think it's p r o p a g a t e d by rugby player t y pes

â&#x20AC;˘ 27th June 2001 â&#x20AC;˘ Felix â&#x20AC;˘

w h o go out drinking, and pretend they never

socially. W h e n I first c a m e here, it w a s a bit

work for exams. Those sort of people piss me

hard to find people with similar interests to me.

off. T h e y think y ou' r e s a d j u s t b e c a u s e y o u

I've m a d e l o a d s of f r i e n d s through

work. W e ' r e privileged to be here, so peopl e

t h o u g h , s o it's j u s t a m a t t e r of m a k i n g an

who think it's not cool to work for your degree

effort.

are the ones who are most likely to label peo-

RockSoc

In the last couple of y e a r s it has got a lot

ple g e e k s .

better. The number of girls on my course has doubled.

S o do you think

it's m o r e of an

internal

problem?

There

M e d i c s tend to be rude about others like engi-

mately,

neers or p h y s i c i s t s , saying "Oh they're so

I C ' s i m a g e is a s m u c h t o d o w i t h

geeky", it's ridiculous, especially at our age, but

tude

they do.

the

are

many

views

s e e m s that

than

any

real

peoples' views

here, the

issue. that

but

ulti-

problem

atti-

F r o m a l l of

are

expressed

here, one thing's

f o r s u r e is t h a t

said "Oh my G o d , it looks like a factory where

are

they keep all the people working in their labo-

a i m of

rat orie s unde r the street", s o w h e n I c a m e I

c u s s i o n of t h e s e i s s u e s , a n d I h o p e the

W h e n o n e of my f r i e n d s c a m e here, s h e

lots

of this

opinions

was quite relieved to find people were normal.

ways

feature

here

looking is to

have

there

it.

The

promote

dis-

gone

some

way

t o w a r d s that aim.

I think if s o m e o n e w a s shallow enough to be put off by the i m a g e , then t h e y p r o b a b l y

Kelly, Physics What

do y ou

think

about

IC's

geeky

image? I admit that I have complained about the number of geeky guys. There is blatantly a lot, but there are a lot of other people too. In general, I don't think people are completely geeky. They do have different interests.

W h a t is a g e e k ? I think a g e e k y guy is s o m e o n e w h o is c o m pletely o b s e s s e d with their subject, and doesn't think a b o u t a n y t h i n g e l s e . I k n o w p e o p l e who, in b e t w e e n lectures, they talk about lectures. They c o m e down the Union and they talk about lectures. That's not a bad thing. It just s e e m s there's not m u c h more to t h e m apart from what subject they do, and what

they

know about that subject. I C ' s i m a g e c o u l d put p e o p l e off c o m i n g here if they think it is going to be really boring wouldn't get on very well here anyway.

BIG thank

volunteered Could

the

geeky

image

be s e e n a s a

you to

all

help out

girls

who

with this

the

fea-

t u r e , a n d f o r b e i n g s o m u c h f u n to w o r k with. I hope you all liked the

good thing?

photos!

The word geek is a derogatory word, so I don't think it could ever be used in a positive way.

Sincere

N o w that I've been here for a while, I forgot

t i n g u s b o r r o w t h e i r v e r y e x p e n s i v e kit,

about that whole geek thing, and reading s o m e

e s p e c i a l l y to A l e x for s e t t i n g

of the uni g u i d e s reminded me of it. W h e n I

P h o t o S o c h a s a full s e t of s t u d i o equipfor

gratitude

P h o t o S o c for

u s e by t h e

let-

it a l l u p .

was applying to unis, it did say stuff like that

ment

about IC, and now I think it is such a pile of

as a brand new, custom-built

darkroom

poo, b e c a u s e it's just not true, and people here

from

also

know that. I think it is important that peopl e

r e d u c e d p r i c e s on c a m e r a c o n s u m a b l e s .

year.

m e m b e r s , as well

Members

outside IC realise how unrealistic it is, s o that

If y o u w o u l d l i k e t o j o i n , c o n t a c t

people aren't put off coming to IC, and so that

this

girls in particular aren't put off coming here.

Otillie.Dyke@ic.ac.uk.

•)

Feature

year's

president

get

Otillie, at

• 27th June 2001 • Felix •

Union Colours

2000-2001

Half Colours

David Rolls

Alexandra Cope

Gareth Morgan

Andrew Heeps

Idris Harding

Babatunde Olanrewaju

Kash Akhtar

Barry Edmonstone

Leanora Lang

Christina Fell

Mary Parker

Claire Press

Mustafa Arif

Dan Preston

Oliver Barnes

Daniel Rose

Sarah Hughes

David Francis David Orme

Outstanding Service

Emily Procter

Ben Hawkins

Florence Crick

David Roberts

Jim McCusker

David Stinson

Lorna Robinson

Dinesh Ganesarajah

Lucy Tipton

Gus Paul

Nima Jalali

Jason McKee

Rebecca Padfield

Melody Lam

Richard Tang

Paul Trompeteler

Richard Taylor

Sen Ganesh

A w a r d

Rosemary Beckett Sabeen Tufail

Union Fellowships

Sarah Bluhme

Iain Campbell

Simon Torn

Ismail Jalisi

Steve Little

Lian Doble

Toby Wilkinson

Stephanie Dawson

Tom Gray Zayd Armanzi

Union Distinguished Fellowships

Chris Jackson Full Colours

Andrew Gallagher

President's

Anjlee Sheth

Lome McEwan

Caroline Knight

Mandy Hurford

Catherine Pinch

Mustafa Arif

David Roberts

Stephanie Dawson

A w a r d s

EXPERIMENT D E C L A R E D FAILURE

C o m m o n w a s e l e c t e d P r e s i d e n t . It is n o w

Imperial C o l l e g e S c h o o l of M e d i c i n e has been

believed that S e n did not stand for the presidency

experimenting with a new brand of medical educa-

at this time as he came to some sort of agree-

S U C C E S S BREEDS S U C C E S S

tion over the past three years. The course is one

ment with Hamish. In order to be eligible to stand

Following the huge success of Idris Harding and

of the very few in the country where students get

this year S e n has spent the last year at Imperial

his team's Imperial College Summer Ball college

into hospitals and see patients from day one. The

taking an M S c c o u r s e which has involved him

has given the go-ahead to another massive student run event to be held in the college. The

was available in a superior form for free.

first three years are spent concentrating on the

repeating large chunks of the fourth year of his

touchy feely aspects of medicine such as commu-

undergraduate degree. The year was not entirely

R C S U ' s Beer festival was this week given the go-

nication skills and empathy. Medical learning dur-

effortless though, he is thought to have done one

ahead by head of catering John Foster on behalf

ing these first three y e a r s is relatively limited,

or two modules for the first time. However, as one

of the College , who were particularly impressed

much is expected to be self taught, and is exam-

by the quality and speed of the cleanup following

ined by trivial multiple g u e s s q u i z z e s , a n d of

the Summer Ball - the Great Hall was back in its

course the infamously ridiculous computer based

examination room format by nine o'clock Sunday

statistics test with online help. Following the entry of the first wannbe doctors to undergo this course into their clinical training I C S M have realised that the approach taken to their education in the first

A mostly libellous column. Kevin is a random entity who knows nothing about nothing

morning, just five hours after the event closed. The B e e r Festival has in the past been one of the largest and most enjoyable R A G events, and will provide a popular and highly visible core to RAG

three years has left them ill-prepared from the

of his 'very g o o d f r i e n d s ' is t h o u g h t to h a v e

activities next year. The event, which will feature

more traditional second half of their training. In an

already completed these coursework-heavy

the drinking of a huge variety of exotic Beers,

incredible move course directors at the medical

courses this may come in useful.

Ciders and Largers will be held on the afternoon

school have decided to accept that their experi-

and evening of W e d n e s d a y the 6th March. People

ment has failed, and are set to make changes to

INSTANT N O T E S

wishing to get involved in the event should con-

the current course to give students a more rigor-

It is likely that by the start of next year course

tact Stuart Davis, stuart.davis@ic.ac.uk

ous, traditional education in their formative years

notes from MIT will be available online for a wide

at the school. To save face it is planned that these

variety of subjects that are taught at Imperial. The

changes will be introduced gradually over the next

s c h e m e , known as M I T - O p e n C o u r s e W a r e , the

While Kevin has not yet found and excuse to stay

three to five years.

scheme is designed will serve as a model for uni-

around college next year the Felix editor-elect Will

L O N G TERM ASPIRATIONS

A N D FINALLY

versity dissemination of knowledge in the Internet

Dugdale did made a hustings pledge that should it

a g e . In the C h e m i s t r y d e p a r t m e n t staff have

be submitted, Mishmash will continue. Fantastic.

ICU's new President S e n G a n e s h has been plan-

already been looking at MIT's offerings, and were

ning his entire life around getting the sabbatical

worried by the possible implications. O n e lecturer

(Yes. Great. So long and thanks for all the fishy

position for the last few years. S e n completed his

was wondering how they could justify the tuition

stories, Kev

undergraduate degree in the year in which Hamish

cost of their c o u r s e s now that lecture material

ARE YOU UP TO g r e e n rumen STANDARD? W o r k next term with Union Ents There are employment opportunities in all areas of Ents, Rag Cloakroom and Advertising. Hours are arranged to suit, depending on your timetable. There will be an Introduction & Training Day on Friday, September 28, 9am-4pm. Come and meet the team and find out more. Lunch will be provided. For more information please either drop by the Union reception, or phone on 020-7594-8060. Make a date in your diary for the Union Training Day, Friday, October 28, 9am-4pm. W e look forward to working with you!

iCU IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION

Work for yourself. Work at the Union... ...and make a difference to your social life.

•i

Columns

M a k e

-Ed)

F r i e n d s a n d

I n f l u e n c e

P e o p l e

S h o r t t e r m positions available during Freshers' Week. Staff are needed to issue /CU Union Cards and London Transport Cards during the first week of the autumn term, October 1-5. Hours will be arranged to suit depending on your new timetable. For more information please either drop by the »'CU reception, phone Michelle Lewthwaite on 0207594-8060 or e-mail m.lewthwiiite@ic.ac.uk with your contact details for now and during the summer.

/ CU IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION

W o r k f o r y o u r s e l f . W o r k a t t h e Union... ...and make a difference to your social life.

• 27th June 2001 • Felix*

F e l i x

Ml complaints should be oddressed to the Editor. If no satisfactory reply is received, contact ICU Exec via the Union President

S U M M E R AT A L L

ÂŤ,,

t i m e to a c t u a l l y s a y s o m e t h i n g

will go back to her old s a l a r y a s

a r e p l e a s e d to i n f o r m y o u t h a t

p o s i t i v e - the ball w a s excellent !

soon

left

you have been a c c e p t e d for a

entertainment

( J e f f e r y A r c h e r ' s L a w of F l y i n g

p l a c e in t h e O l d F e l i x E d i t o r s '

p l e a s i n g , a n d the

P i g s ) . A n d , is it a c o - i n c i d e n c e

H o m e . Y o u wil l be c o l l e c t e d o n

l i v e m u s i c w a s s e n s a t i o n a l . I'm

that they're all g o i n g , o r have t h e y

J u l y 3 0 t h by t w o of our h e a v i l y

sure that other

being S y k e d ?

armed

T h e d i v e r s i t y of was especially

correspondents

will i n f o r m us of

Dear Ed

everyone

has

organisational

s h o r t c o m i n g s (there w e r e a few)

M a y b e Felix c a n get an a n s w e r ,

but I e c h o the v i e w of many pun-

b e c a u s e I'm b * * * * e r e d if I c a n .

t e r s t h a t it w a s a I j u s t w a n t e d to

congratulate

representatives

and

e s c o r t e d to the H o m e , w h e r e y o u will be t a k e n for your c o m p l e mentary lobotomy before

being

t a k e n to y o u r n e w r o o m , w h e r e

s u p r e m e l y fun e v e n i n g .

y o u will be p e r m a n e n t l y held .

Ihe s u m m e r ball t e a m on putting on a b r i l l i a n t

b a l l t h i s y e a r - it

W e l l , I'll k e e p t h i s s h o r t . G o o d

I'm going to miss this kind of let-

This p r e c a u t i o n is in o r d e r to pre-

was t h e b e s t o n e I've b e e n t o o

luck to e v e r y o n e w h o is g r a d u a t -

ter- Sherfield,

vent y o u f r o m b e c o m i n g a d a n g e r

md thought that the w h o l e event

ing this y e a r .

what's

going

on?

to s o c i e t y a n d is q u i t e s t a n d a r d .

Âťas g r e a t .

...AND FINALLY Yours,

Yours

As the ball w a s a s e l l - o u t a n d

Dear M r Clifford.

extra t i c k e t s w e r e m a d e a v a i l a b l e

Asanga Gunatillaka

is well, s u r e l y the ball has m a d e

Elec Eng. Yr 4

some p r o f i t t h i s y e a r .

Myself, Surprisingly,

too, a r e c o n c e r n e d a b o u t

it off, two letters

any profit w o u l d go. W e

where thought

no letters

job

Idris and

that a n y profit s h o u l d be put into

the

Union

a summer

about

whom

towards m a k i n g next y e a r ' s ball

things

-Ed

just a s

fund

and

Home Secretary

your tenure as Felix Editor. W e

ind n u m e r o u s p e o p l e I've s p o k e n

ball

David Blunkett C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s on c o m p l e t i n g

of praise.

co. And

Staff

slagging

and

Good

course

volunteers-

w e V e heard

great

This is the last issue of this a c a d e m i c year, but letters for the first issue of next y e a r should be r e c e i v e d by the end of S e p t e m b e r - drop into the office or email f e l i x @ i c . a c . u k . L e t t e r s may a l s o be used in the o c c a s i o n a l S u m m e r publication Helix. L e t t e r s may be edited for length but not g r a m m a r or spelling.

g o o d (if not b e t t e r - is

this p o s s i b l e ! ! ! W e l l , f a s t e r b a r

SHERFIELD WATCH

service in t h e j c r w o u l d ' v e b e e n better, but t h a t ' s m y o n l y c o m -

D e a r Felix.

plaint!). H o w e v e r , w e h a v e t h e nasty s u s p i c i o n t h a t t h e

union

nay j u s t c r e a m a n y p r o f i t s put it

towards

funding

and

some

trap union e v e n t , like that d i s a s trous c o m e d y n i g h t

with

that

Woke f r o m the fast s h o w .

Sherfield watch update. anyone explain exactly

Can what's

o c u r r i n g in a bit of S h e r f i e l d lots of us u s e - R e s e a r c h C o n t r a c t s ? In J a n u a r y t h e r e w a s 8 p e o p l e working

in it. N o w 6 of

them

h a v e left or are l e a v i n g . W e ' v e w o n d e r if w e c o u l d g e t

some

feedback on this point - what do other p e o p l e t h i n k ? W o u l d

been told

that its being

run

from t h e m e d i c a l s c h o o l by L y n n

the

C o x , w h o I s e e has got the extra

onion p e o p l e listen to w h a t s t u -

t i t l e of ' D i r e c t o r of R e s e a r c h

ients w a n t e d

C o n t r a c t s ' . T h e r e m u s t be m o r e

it p u t

towards

(doubtful)?

D i r e c t o r s around S h e r f i e l d than

[

t h e r e a r e f l i e s a r o u n d a p i l e of s * * * on a hot d a y .

Yours slightly c o n c e r n e d Louise

W i t h a new title goes

Dear S i r ,

m o n e y ( N e i l H a m i l t o n ' s L a w of M a n a g e m e n t ) - just for taking on

The S u m m e r B a l l 2001 w a s for

8 extra people who have

many p e o p l e ( i n c l u d i n g

myself),

t u r n e d into 2. M a g i c . That's what

in i m p o r t a n t

I call a good pay deal.

larewell

chance

say

b e f o r e leaving Imperial.

cappuodno

now

espresso

m o n e y a n d l e s s staff; c a n w e all

Mter four y e a r s at IC, I a m writ-

have one like that

ing to Felix for the first a n d last

m a y b e I'm w r o n g a n d M r s . C o x

lFelix i27th June 2001

tea

please.But

Letters

Albums Scuba Z

Preston School of Industry

The Vanishing American

All This Sounds Gas

Family

(Domino)

(Odd Records)

his album is a musical pick 'n' mix

reston S c h o o l of Industry, featuring guitarist S c o t t Kannberg, are

most likely to appeal to fans of Kann-

of big beat, funk, house and just

burg's former band, Pavement. In the

about anything e l s e you can think of.

s a m e mould as Pavement, they have a

Eccentric, eclectic and, at times, a lit-

quirky guitar-based sound, with whim-

tle bit m e s s y , this is an a l b u m that

sical v o c a l s and a strong backline.

never disappoints.

The overall feel of All This

F r o m t h e c r a z y funk of / h o u s e c r o s s o v e r of Sharon

Stone's

e a c h t r a c k is d i f f e r e n t

n e v e r r e a l l y s o u n d s like s o m e t h i n g you've heard before - the wondering where it'll go next.

ing

Adora

management

meeting:

Whilst featuring the singles Cali-

e d g e to t h e m u s i c hinting at some-

Boss

of record

label: " S o we've

thing a bit more "serious". The songs

final track "I will irritate you". N o

are e x p e r i m e n t a l , but maintain a dis-

need, M a x i . You're good enough

tinctly poppy appeal.

at it already.

argued that S t e v e M a l k u m u s is doing

signed the band. They've got to

A n d when they drop in a few

found that all of the tracks are equal-

r o c k l i k e Iggy P o p on c h e a p

electronic beats here and there to

fornian Paranoia

and Instant Whip,

- p e r h a p s o n e to l i s t e n to o v e r the s u m m e r months - but there is also an

(Superior Quality Recordings)

album

keeps you on the edge of your seat,

a s a result the music is fairly uplifting

Vibrate You

and

ly appealing in their own way, but not

o r a n g e s q u a s h and E - n u m b e r s .

prove their modernity, y o u just

to e v e r y o n e ' s t a s t e . For e x a m p l e , if

They need tunes, arrogance and

k n o w that t h e r e w a s s o m e o n e

the V e n g a b o y s is as leftfield a s you

some guitars. They've got to have

from A & R lounging in the studio

like your music, don't bother with this

sex appeal."

s a y i n g " Y e a h g u y s , it'll s o u n d

album (in fact, if that is the c a s e , how

KA Manager:

" O K . C h e c k "rock-

great, trust me" as the

can you live with yourself?!).

ing". C h e c k tunes and arrogance.

stood there looking unsure.

T h i s is a s e r i o u s l y t a s t y

little

album and is definitely worth getting your hands o n .

Check

appe....oh

Hard Hop Superstars (Xtrahard)

and Operation

don't

get

the

label: " O h w e l l .

wrong with this C D . Every song does have big shiny sharp hooks

of record

C o l d c u t , G r o o v e A r m a d a and

one will notice."

a r e never b a n a l . The s o l o s are

tion of artists who have contributed to mm

A n d you have King A d o r a .

never cheesy. There is not a song

W h o d o t a k e a f t e r M S P , but

on the disc that you would really

without the intelligence. They've

w a n t to f a s t f o r w a r d

through.

got the tunes though. The debut

N e v e r t h e l e s s it is e a s y to tell

album from the Birmingham four

which songs were, are, or shall be

o v e r a y e a r a g o . B u t if y o u ' r e

g o r i e s . They're not the M a n i c s .

Blade with their hands

going to "do" arrogance, you real-

They're not M a n s u n . But they're

in the air moments, and the surpris-

ly have to be the dog's testicles

the next best thing:

ingly laid back P u m p Up

t o g e t a w a y w i t h it. S i n g l e s

for those who can't be a r s e d to

Bionic and Suffocate

are slabs of

the M a n i c s

r e a d M a r x a n d f i n d out

what

to most of this, there is the underpin-

pop rock that will have the kids

Willem de Kooning used to con-

ning fact that everything is actually

moshing in the aisles , but M a x i

template. (Oh, and buy the spe-

too gimmicky, a little insipid and a lit-

Browne's whine, which is at first

cial edition: extra tracks and

tle unoriginal for this to actually be a

alluring, really begins to piss me

videos. You can show it off when

good album. At least they're

off a f t e r t h e 4 t h or 5 t h

K A have sold out and boast about

Frequency

th rare c u t s from the likes of

w ;

R e d S n a p p e r , I w a s expecting some-

Beats

track

which r e p l a c e s a c h o r u s with a Patrick

(Nuphonic Records)

thing pretty special from this compila-

"power pop" or " p u n k / g i a r r T ^ a t s -

Oxide and Neutrino.

The London Xpress Album

that you could catch a shark with.

singles: the songs easily fall into

not

Hammond

The lyrics (between the whines)

piece is polished, and you can s e e

However, whilst you would d a n c e

Mark

met

why N M E put them on their cover

Nation...

this kind of thing better but still, this one is worth a listen.

some goths down a dark alley. N o

this

here are g o o d t r a c k s on

album, like Rock Da Funky

However,

It c o u l d be

impression that there is anything

Street Preachers who've

Public Domain

fuck.

band

We'll dress them like early M a n i c

Boss Patrick

sex

They're pug ugly."

Sounds

Gas is one of a band having fun, and

King Adora

to the guitary / acid

Get Out Much House,

Don't

whining scream. Maxi says on the

the L o n d o n X p r e s s R a d i o show over the last year. It is certainly eclectic, and almost every track refuses to fall into a , specific

dance

music

category.

However, a broad theme of downbeat | electronica emerges, with hints of techno, dub and jazz creeping in occasional-

ly. S a b r e s of P ar adis e , David Holmes | and even Bjork are also featured. U n f o r t u n a t e l y , t h e r e are no real stand-out t r a c k s , which could explain why they haven't been released before. S o m e of the s t u f f d o e s sound quite experimental and progressive, but like all experiments, it doesn't always produce good results. There is some good j

stuff here, but I'd only recommend this I

"owning rare early stuff'.) Chris

to completists who already have a lot of I these artists' material.

Tom

•27th June 2001 • Felix •

Live! Sou I wax

Swell

DJing @ 333 club

Everybody wants to know

Soulwax? A d d i n g to the fact they do

(Beggars Banquet)

records, they also perform D J s e t s . Recently they hit an E a s t London

It's still called Swell, but the band is

llub and burnt the place with their

now reduced to his singer/compositor

irenzied tunes for two hours. A

David Freel (as written in the sleeve

jroovy slap that turns sullen and reti-

"guitar, keyboards, vocals and other

;ent o n e s into bouncing d a n c e r s .

crap"), helped on half of the songs by

Passion is on their side, the two

the drummer Rey W a s a m . This sixth

brothers, coming all the w a y from

album (some songs of which are from

Belgium, look like hard c o r e music

the recent E P "feeds") sounds like all

bns that play their fav tunes. That

Swell's stuff: an acoustic background,

jives a mix of 8 0 s and 9 0 s hits; s o m e

transpierced by electric loops, with this

songs you, at least I, last heard a g e s

particular voice like a haunting lament.

igo, when big hair and stripes w e r e

But it's darker and with less detach-

/ery fashionable, on your big broth-

ment: the songs are good, but their

;r*s turntable just before, in a brazen

hypnotic construction now sometimes

nove, throwing the record through

Turin Brakes

sounds repetitive, guitars are rougher,

[he window, stopping his music dicta-

the singing deeper... This general

torship. Ears don't believe it, S

Supported by David Kitt @ U L U

blackness looks like a disillusion -

Express , Vanilla Ice, M i c k a e l

except on a few songs, on "like pover-

lackson with the theme from Billy lean acting like the s h o w leitmotiv, ven Pump up the Jam from

ty" or "... a velvet s u n " the magi is still

ccording to the band them-

efficient.

before the main event began.

s e l v e s , this w a s a return

Turin B r a k e s kept a p a c k e d

home for Turin B r a k e s , their first

audience involved, interested

tie body can't stop s t o p rythming o n ,

headline gig in the U K for s o m e

and excited throughout, playing

to face the band for almost ten years,

;ven on hits hated 10 y e a r s ago.

t i m e . A b l y s u p p o r t e d by t w o

tracks from their recent L P The

and that's a shame as these lo-fi and charmful tunes can be captivating.

echnotronic, s o g o o d . That's music

The reduction of the team is maybe due to the world indifference that had

Soulwax s u c c e e d to make soun d

other impressive - though slight-

Optimist and some new material

»ol really old fashioned stuff. Recent

ly strange - a c t s , they put on a

too. Even though the set lasted

"Everybody wants ..." is a pleasant

jtles are not forgotten, since

s h o w w o r t h y of a h o m e c o m i n g

for over an hour, the band main-

album and I'll give it three points, but I

tedonna Music

celebration.

is mixed with Daft

'unk. The D e w a e l e brothers love

S u p p o r t c a m e from David

tained interest with variation in

highly recommend the excellent 41 and

all the k e y m u s i c a l a r e a s . T h e

Too Many Days Without Thinking ones,

nixing, very funny w h e n D J i n g , on •

K i t t , a y o u n g Irish s i n g e r a n d

bassist, drummer and keyboard

and hope that Swell will one day earn

he verge to jump and frenetically

guitarist. H e w a s a c c o m p a n i e d

player occasionally sat out, leav-

the little success they deserve.

lance on their d e c k s . Rest your feet

by a w o o d w i n d p l a y e r w h o w e

ing the two original band mem-

Wore they're back in L o n d o n .

could hardly hear (actually I

b e r s to p e r f o r m s o m e of t h e

don't think his mic w a s t u r n e d

s l o w e r , more r e f l e c t i v e t r a c k s ,

on) and a bearded guy who sat

notably the excellent Futureboy.

c r o s s - l e g g e d on the floor, playing

miniature

was

V/A

the

keyboard.

band's m o s t familiar track, the

Strangely, the percussion w a s

recently released single The

Brassic Beats Vol.1

all recorded - maybe the drum-

Underdog (Save M e ) , which

(Skint)

m e r c o u l d n ' t m a k e it. D e s p i t e

p r o v o k e d the biggest a u d i e n c e

This is a real C l a s s i c Originally

s o m e o v e r l y long t r a c k s with

r e a c t i o n . L e s s p r e d i c t a b l y , the

released in 1996, Brassic Beats intro-

e x a g g e r a t e d e n d i n g s a n d per-

live v e r s i o n w a s e v e n

duced the world to the Skint sound,

better

h a p s t r y i n g t o o h a r d to s o u n d

than the single - this w a s much

like David G r a y , Kitt and his col-

appreciated.

l e a g u e s c a m e up w i t h a t h o r -

A great

o u g h l y p r o m i s i n g s l i c e of folkpop. W e w e r e then t r e a t e d to a completely

• Felix • 27th June

Predictably,

unexpected

but

pioneers of Big Beat. The compilation has some great, timeless classics, such

live b a n d , Turin

B r a k e s ' rise to f a m e is s u r e to

as Everybody

needs a 303 by Fatboy

Slim and Bentley's Gonna Sort You Out

continue. They c o m e highly rec-

by Bentley Rhythm A c e . A l s o mixed are

ommended.

Midfield General, Req and Cut Le Dave

Edwards

Roc.Not all of the tracks are amazing,

totally enjoyable performance

but what is here is definitely worth a

f r o m an A f r i c a n d r u m

purchase.

2001

troupe,

Frequency

Tom

Singles by Celine & Elsa Goldfrapp - Utopia Genetically

Limp Bizkit - M y Way

full v i d e o . . . • • • # #

Enriched (Mute) T h i s is r i c h , a s t o t h e w a r m v o i c e o f A l i s o n

Dina Carroll - Someone Like

G o l d f r a p p a r e a d d e d s e v e r a l layers o f s y n t h s

A l t h o u g h y o u a l l p r o b a b l y k n o w about thii

a n d v i o l i n s . T h e s o p r a n o b a c k i n g v o c a l s in

You (Mercury)

r e s p o n s e of male choirs a r e a m a z i n g , but this

band, I've g o t t o review their new single, whicH

M a y b e y o u c a n offer this s i n g l e to y o u r 1 0 -

is utterly crap. T h e climax of fat, heavy,

t r a c k isn't a s s t r o n g a n d s t ir r in g a s t h e f i r s t

year-old sister w h o has already all the

s p i r e d , s k a t e - p u n k a s ugly a s F r e d Durst pi

single

W h i t n e y H o u s t o n d i s c o g r a p h y . If y o u don't

f a c e . L e t ' s f a c e it, h e c a n n o t even rap, j i

Human.

u s

have that kind o f s i s t e r , don't think about it

s q e a l his m i s e r a b l e lyrics. I'm only interestec

anymore.

why the hell he always put his hands on his will)

Neil Finn - Last to Know (Parlophone)

u n i n

when dancing.

3LW

Witness - You are all my owrj

An acoustic guitar a n d a nice voice - that m a k e s a g e n t l e s o n g . It's inoffensive and for-

(Baby

I'ma d o

invention

tunately short e n o u g h not to m a k e this poor

Is this the w o r d s o f a d e s e s p e r a t e fan or a lone

melody boring. N e i l Finn has d o n e b e t t e r with

ly l o v e r ? T h e s o n g d o e s n ' t s o u n d grim, bui

his previous single.

rather lively a n d optimistic, in a kind of REM

#)#)###

Automatic

for the people

p e r i o d vocals anc

melodic style. Perfect t o listen o n the road for

Faithless - We Come One

the b e a c h , o r maybe you can find a more funky

(Cheeky) 1 «

I g u e s s it's a g o o d club hit, o n e of t h e s e that will m a k e y o u m o v e a n d d a n c e until d a w n . I still believe though (old f a s h i o n e d , I know) that this kind of rhythm is boring at home, s o where's t h e point in buying it?

Manifesto - JBN: A l l I Want C u t e s l i c e o f R n ' B p o p t r i f l e . T h e s e "3 little w o m e n " (how p a t r o n i s i n g is that?) d o a nice

Jinrai - Someplace else

line in ditzy p o p with a s i d e helping of street

J a z z y sirocco that w a r m s up the mood, the jaz

c r e d . This s o n g isn't t o o b a d , a n d t h e girls put

touch remains soft, a flut and strings spice upj

on a great p e r f o r m a n c e .

the s o u n d . Dominating vocals, reminding me o i

• • • • •

J a m i r o q u a i , m a k e all the s o n g . Pretty nice tdj l i s t e n t o , m a y n o t b e j a z z a v a n t g a r d e (o maybe a s I'm far from being an expert), some!

Spacek - How do I move?

s o u l - R n B i n f l u e n c e s , d e a d l y e f f e c t i v e for aj

(Island)

• • • « •

lounge flavour.

This piece of c a l m R n ' B is prefect to chillout after the beat h a m m e r i n g club. D o w n t e m p o a n d soft v o c a l s reign f o r a real treat; this m a k e s a c h a n g e from all c o m m e r -

(Underdog)

cial rubbish R n ' B y o u c a n h e a r o n t h e radio.

S a m e style a s a b o v e , but t h e s e d a n c e b e a t s

E v e n if it's not r e a l l y m y t a s t e , I d e f i n i t e l y

are uninspired and bloody annoying, even

enjoyed it.

a f t e r a f e w drinks, and t h e a g g r e s s i v e d e s i g n

• • • • •

of t h e s l e e v e d o e s n ' t help. B u t it i n c l u d e s a

• 2 7 t h June 2001 • Felix

TICKETS: £*2

i n

£ 3

a t

VENUE: MDH

a d v a n c e t h e

d o o r

t Thursday 2 8 June 8 t i l l a t e I t h

screen

Shrek

Another Life

Director: Andrew Adamson

our h e r o s a n n o y a n c e . T o rid his

Director: Philip G o o d h e w

Starring: Cameron Diaz,

h o m e off all t h e s e i r r i t a t i n g a n d

Starring:

badly b e h a v e d l a y a b o u t s (I m e a n

M o r a n and loan

Mike

M y e r s and Eddie Murphy

Natasha

Lee,

M o r a n plays P e r c y , a totally differNick

Gruffudd

best known in L o c k S t o c k and Two

the wolf from Little R e d riding

hen I s t a r t e d

doing

film

r e v i e w s for F e l i x , the o n l y

H o o d is s m o k i n g in his b e d ! ) he m u s t find t h e p r i n c e a w i f e .

Off

g o e s with his goofy donkey

c o m p u t e r animated feature film

Shrek

w a s Toy S t oy. S i n c e then, a whole

companion

new g e n r e has s p a w n e d with the

Murphy)

(voiced find

the

Eddie

enviable

ent role from the charact e r he is S m o k i n g B a r r e l s . However, he fails

nother Life is yet another Brit

to f i n d his f e e t a s m u c h as the

film, which unlike the vast

o t h e r a c t o r s , a n d a l o n g with a

m a j o r i t y is a c t u a l l y p r e t t y g o o d .

rather daft accent, can be consid-

H o w e v e r , it is not b a s e d on drug

ered

d e a l i n g in S w a n s e a or

N o n e t h e l e s s he p u t s across the

anything

best

adequate.

advent of big flashy computers and

Princess Fiona ( C a m e r o n Diaz) s o

else

but

main point of his character, that of

the

are

t h a t the p r i n c e c a n turn S h r e k ' s

Edwardian England. W h i c h is why,

b e i n g a c h a r m i n g t e e n a g e r who,

r e s p o n s i b l e for both Toy S t o r i e s

s w a m p back to its original tranquil-

unfortunately, no-one except your

t h r o u g h his old a g e becomes an

a n d the e x c e l l e n t A n t z . T h e c o m -

lity.

company

Pixar,

who

along

those

lines,

mum is going to go and watch it.

puter generated film goes to a new level with the j a w d r o p p i n g Final

This film is very funny indeed, not

Fantasy, released this summer, but

only

y o u c a n read m o r e a b o u t that in the S u m m e r preview.

introverted and o p p r e s s i v e to his wife.

because

the

The story is based on real life inci-

purile

dents surrounding Edith T h o n p s o n ,

G r u f f u d d , w h o p l a y s Bywaters is

b u r p / f a r t humour for the y o u n g

w h o w a s hanged in the late 1 9 2 0 ' s

e x c e l l e n t g i v i n g a d a s h i n g andj

c h i l d r e n (and m e n ) but a l s o t h e

for her part in the murde r of her

extrovert c h a r a c t e r a rather sinis-

more sophisticated jokes aimed at

husband,

ter s i d e . T h e c h e m i s t r y between

P e r c y , by h e r

lover

is Pixar's new offering and is

the more s e s i b l e m e m b e r s of the

Freddie B y w a t e r s . All the evidence

him and L e e is also worthy of note,

m a d e with the s a m e verve, which

audience (women). In the main line

at the time, and this film, is m a d e

a s it is their characters relationship w h i c h is t h e driving force of the

Shrek

m a d e their p r e v i o u s o f f e r i n g s s o

of fire is D i s n e y , with the film being

sympathetic to her involvement in

successful. Cleverly they

have

v e r y c y n i c a l to all t h i n g s s u g a r y

the crime. B y w a t e r s himself admit-

film. Although their

once agian realised once you have

and sweet. There are numerous

t e d to t h e c r i m e a n d in his l a s t

d o e s n ' t light up t h e s c r e e n it is

a good story, with interesting char-

s e n d ups with q u o t e s and mis-

d a y s p r o t e s t e d T h o m p s o n ' s inno-

good enough to be plausible.

a c t e r s , the humour and

quotes from famous films.

cence ultimately in vain.

flashy

g r a p h i c s p a r t of it p o l i s h off

the

entire thing rather nicely.

Shrek

is a quiet o g r e ( v o i c e d by

M i k e M y e r s ) , who wants

f a v o u r i t e is T h e M a t r i x p i s s t a k e and also the interrogation of a gin-

T h i s f i lm e s s e n t i a l l y f o l l o w s

g e r b r e a d man, all involving

tragic life from before her marriage

the

princess character.

nothing

m o r e than to be left a l o n e in his

Shrek

peaceful s w a m p . However, the evil

be lauded for months to c o m e .

is an excellent film which will

prince Farquaad banishes all of the fairytale c h a r a c t e r s from his kingd o m to Shrek's

ÂŽ

s w a m p , much to

Screen

her

chemistry

The film follows quite a long period! of time, at least twenty years and d i r e c t o r G o o d h e w must be com-

p r i o r t o t h e F i r s t W o r l d W a r up

mended for letting the film run its

until her final d a y on d e a t h row. N a t a s h a L e e puts in a v e r y g o o d

c o u r s e a n d , w h i l e not showing a high d e g r e e of flair, doing a solid!

performance as T h o m p s o n , w h o m

job reacreating an English tragedy.

we are led to believe is an outgoShrek

ing and funloving women restricted

is out on Friday. Drew

Another

Life is out now.

by both her husband and soceity.

27th June 2001 â&#x20AC;˘ Felix

Drew I

•

• f i t

. • •••

• ••

Evolution

•. •••• •. :••

And finally....

Director: Ivan Reitman

the middle of the desert. Duchovny

Well then, the end is nigh, and this

Claire@ddapr, Tom@metrodome,

Starring: David

Duchovny,

plays the oddly named Ira Kane, a

is my last little section. And to

Anna@sony, Anne@momentum,

Julianne M o o r e and S e a n W -

college professor who is sent to

your boredom I'm gonna say some

Engin@entertainment-film and

Scott

investigate. However, soon things

thankyous.

Holly@mission-21.

mmm, Evolution.

Films with

But

that's

tough

get out of control when aliens start

because without these folks there

springing out of the rock. The mili-

would be no film pages, and more

Sharon@Odeon for the competi-

special

thankyou

single scientifically worded

tary are then called in to stop the

importantly I'd have to pay to see

tions and letting me into the Arnie

titles, should be approached with

evolution under the watchful eye of

them. First the reviewers: Tom,

premiere!

care. As everyone knows they can

government scientist Allison Reed

Imran, Aamar, George, Katherine

be good (The Matrix) or more likely

(Moore).

and Dave. Thanks for your help.

they can be bad (The C e l l ) .

M a n y thanks to: A n g i e @ l i m e ,

Evolution has good credentials. For

Unbelievably this film was actually

a start it is d i r e c t e d by Ivan

written

Reitman, one of the most success-

However, when the director has

ful c o m e d i c d i r e c t o r s of

a Sci-Fi

Naomi@beatwax,

Jeni

and

thriller.

the

films such as Ghostbusters II and

I980's. Secondly it stars Julianne

Twins to his credit, you know that

Here are a quick rundown on two

Moore, fresh from the success of

'thriller' is possibly used in the

films I've seen out this summer:

Hannibal.

widest sense of the word. In fact, if it was a thriller, it would have been

However it stars David Duchovny,

a b s o l u t e shite and not worth

A K n i g h t s Tale A medieval story, where from the

S i d e w a l k s of N Y

first scene of them singing "We Will Rock y o u " , you know isn't

the man who will be forever known

watching. Instead it is merely a

This is the new Edward Burns film,

going to be that historically accu-

i s Fox M u l d e r . The mentality

comedy of the nature of Reitman's

which he stars in and also directs.

rate.

behind him starring in a film, I really

previous projects. The humour isn't

It is a documentary style film, fol-

don't understand. For the last

groundbreaking and the perform-

lowing the life of six people in New

Heath Ledger is the thatchers boy

decade almost he has been investi-

ances range from average through

York and how their lives overlap

who becomes champion jouster for

gating aliens in the X-Files. In this

to shocking.

through relationships they have

the hand of the beautiful proncess.

Plm guess whathe is investigat|g

aliens. Next is Sean William-

with people. All in all it's a run of the mill film

However , his n e m e s i s , C o u n t Adhemar, played quite dreadfully

Scott, whose previous outings have

Hollywood film. I wouldn't recom-

Heather Graham stars alongside a

pen as inane college idiot in Road

mend spending your hard earned

host of actors, all of whom you

business with our young hero at

r i p and Dude, Where's My Car?

cash on it in the cinema. If and

know the f a c e s , but not their

the

fie word 'stereotype' immediately

when y o u ' r e s u i c i d a l l y bored,

names. However, it is Dennis

Championships.

ings to mind.

watch it on video. Evolution

is out now.

fel. Wayne Green (Scott) discov-

Jousting

Drew

This is a truly dire film, in which

This isn't an easy film to watch,

the only thing worth watching is

but is ulimately very intelligent.

the black haired lady blacksmith.

[S a meteorite that has landed in HI

• Felix • 27th June 2001

•

World

Farina as a hilarious womanising TV host who steals the limelight.

p e plot of the film is not very origi-

by Rufus Sewell has unfinished

Screen

screen

Upcoming Summer Movies! July

this o n e , s o if y o u t h o u g h t J P II

computer animated film which looks

enjoyable or unbelievably bad. You

w a s a J P too far, I wouldn't even

absolutely staggering. However, the

have been warned.

J a p a n e s e element is noticeable with

F i r s t up for J u l y is T o m b R a i d e r ,

c o n s i d e r this o n e . H o w e v e r , t h e

s t a r r i n g A n g e l i n a J o l i e . Following

c a s t is s u r p r i s i n g l y s t r o n g , S a m

the i n d e c i p h e r a b l e plot outline: A

the slating by the American media,

Neill, William H M a c y and Tea

female scientist makes a last stand

I think that computer games made

L e o n i , s o w e m a y be all in for a

on Earth with the help of a ragtag

O n e to d e f i n i t e l y

from films is possibly moe effective

pleasant surprise. M o r e appealing

team of soldiers against an invasion

Moulin Rouge, with Nicol e Kidman

than vice-versa. Look out for some

seems Swordfish starring

John

of alien phantoms. O n e for the S c i -

and Ewan M c G r e g o r . It may be an

unexpected appearances, including

Travolta

Cheadle.

Fi freaks amongst us perhaps. Tim

a c q u i r e d t a s t e w i t h lots of music

Rimmer from Red Dwarf.

High

H e e l s a n d L o w l i f e s is a brit flick

and

Don

September look out for is

Basically a heist film with a twist, it

B u r t o n s e r v e s up P l a n e t O f T h e

and dancing, but it has already had

follows how a computer

A p e s in m i d - A u g u s t . W i t h

a lot of positive reviews following

hacker

Mark

d i r e c t e d by M e l S m i t h . T h e plot

tries to rob $6 billion dollars from

W a h l b e r g as the a s t r o n a u t

who

the first s c r e e n i n g s in C a a n . Look

s u r r o u n d s h o w a n u r s e p l o t s to

the government. Vinnie J o n e s also

'accidentally' arrives on a s t r a n g e

out for Kylie Minogue popping us as

blackmail some bankrobbers out of

makes an appearance in this one.

planet ruled by aliens after

going

a f a i r y ! A f e w w e e k s l a t e r sees

through a wormhole. This promises

Steven Speilbergs new film Artificial

their heist. W i t h a c a s t including Minnie

Driver

and

Michael

G a m b o n (always superb),

August

this

to be one of the films to watch this

Intelligence (Al). Starring Haley Joel

summer. Personally I'm interested in

Osment (Sixth Sense) as an android

could be one to watch for. This is

First this month is R u s h H o u r 2,

seeing Helena B o n h a m - C a r t e r as a

in the 21st century, this promises to

r e l e a s e d at t h e s a m e t i m e a s

Anything with J a c k i e C h a n has got

chimpanzee. Paul Hogan and Linda

be a real treat. A n d then before you

J u r a s s i c Park III. Steven Speilberg

to be worth a good look. Final Final

K o z l o w s k i return for

is not having anything to do with

Fantasy: The Spirits Within is a

D u n d e e in L A . This could be midly

• i

S c r e e n

Crocodile

know it, it's 12th October:^American Pie 2 and the beginning of term.

• 27th June 2001 • Felix •

The Felix Crossword 1211 A , by Wailer Ned Across:

Down:

Burt crashes into representative and worries greatly. (7)

s t i c k s . (7) 2.

B e g g a r has 1 's head around leash. (7)

P a p e r tracks offer travel discounts. (9)

N y m p h is unavailable

U n w a r r a n t e d if it's not timetabled. (5)

before first year. (5)

10. A n impulse for each edi-

tor groaned gently.- (9) I I . C r a p , my old lover's stuck

The clientele move with

H a t s may spin balls! (7) C o l o u r e d bear following agony. (7)

right in mortar! (9)

Fast ones get the point across. (9)

12. Foe? Why, for a clean

out... (5)

Lament the ridge's collapse. (5)

13. ...writers have cot in drug

ship! (7)

S e c o n d picture whipped out your weapon again?

15. Rubbish collector may may you sneeze. (7)

(7) 14. U n a b l e to get up, I've

17. Lives about e d g e s . (7) 19. S w e e t sand on point. (7)

taken trips in slumber. (9) 16. H i n t s at a thousand coins

21. S u s p e c t highland leaders of something fishy. (5)

men hit. (9) 17. W a z z u p ! Liquid on pink,

23. W a r e s are electrified, and occasionally going ' M o o ! ' , perhaps (4-5)

young flower. (4-3) 18. S h h ! It's a bad license! (7) 19. S p l i t s dived, I s e e ! (7)

25. D e a d boner got wider! (9)

20. A b d u c t i o n s bring in the

26. Rule over 2 3 , perhaps? (5)

profits. (7) 22. M o c k with your mouth full

27. W e hear the boundary removal will make us

at all times. (5) 24. Tear right into the shack.

safer. (7)

(5)

28. M i s e r y sits awkwardly for the torturers. (7)

T h i n k i n g of

earning

s o m e c a s h in O c t o b e r ' ? Long term positions available next term. There are employment opportunities in all areas of the Union's Catering, Bars, Ents and Reception. Hours are arranged to suit you. There will be an Introduction & Training Day on Friday, September 28, 9am-4pm. Come and meet the team and find out more. Lunch wilt be provided. For more information please either drop by the Union reception, or phone on 020-7594-8060, Make a date in your diary for the Union Training Day, Friday, October 28, 9am-4pm. We look forward to working with you!

/CU IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION

Work foryourself. Work at t h e Union... ...and make a difference to your social life.

T h e e x a m s are f i n i s h e d . T h e p r o j e c t s are h a n d e d in. T h e drains s m e l l a n d there a r e lots of virtually n a k e d p e o p l e in H y d e Park. Y e s , it is S u m m e r , a n d y e s , this is o u r last i s s u e . This d o e s of c o u r s e m e a n that this is a l s o the last c r o s s w o r d y o u ' l l get from me for a while , but I h o p e that w h a t I have prov i d e d will last y o u at least t h e trip h o m e . It s h o u l d do s o long as y o u d o n ' t live o u t s i d e Z o n e 2. It h a s o c c a s i o n a l l y b e e n s a i d that w h a t I w r i t e here d o e s n ' t a l w a y s m a k e m u c h s e n s e - it s e e m s a bit harsh a s it a l w a y s m a k e s p e r f e c t s e n s e to me. H o w e v e r , bearin g this in mind, I h a v e e v e n more s p a c e for n o n s e n s e than u s u a l , s o hold o n t o y o u r s a n i t y if y o u find it a difficult trip - it'll all be o v e r in three p a g e s ' time.

The Little

One

A b o v e is the c r o s s w o r d I had p r e p a r e d for last w e e k ' s i s s u e , but this w a s unfortunately c a n c e l l e d d u e to the w e a t h e r being far t o o nice a n d e v e r y o n e g o i n g to t h e b e a c h i n s t e a d - d o n ' t a c c e p t the E d i t o r ' s p h o n e y ' m o n e y e x c u s e ' . I w o u l d n ' t w i s h to s e e a c r o s s w o r d w a s t e d , s o I h a v e s c r o u n g e d an extra p a g e from the E d i t o r to bring it to y o u this w e e k i n s t e a d . It has the unoriginal title of 1211 A , t h o u g h I refer to it a f f e c t i o n a t e l y a s M a r m a d u k e . T h e a n s w e r s to M a r m a d u k e here m a y well b e p u b l i s h e d next y e a r if a n y o n e still c a r e s by t h e n , but I'm e q u a l ly likely to simply forget. S t i l l , I w o u l d n ' t l o s e a n y s l e e p o v e r it.

Crossword

• 27th June 2001

• Felix •

The Felix Crossword 1211 B by Wailer N e d

The Big O n e

Crosswords

a c o r r e c t a n s w e r , c o m e a n d m a k e an empas-

Past

s i o n e d p l e a to the E d i t o r for y o u r prize.

I d i d , of c o u r s e , have a big plan for y o u at the

First the result of 1 2 0 9 ' s c r o s s w o r d , w h e r e I

e n d of t h e year, a n d d e s p i t e having a s p a r e

a m s o r r y to report that I m a d e a m i s t a k e . I

T h e a n s w e r s to both 1 2 0 9 a n d 1210 are at

c r o s s w o r d , I s e l f l e s s l y p r e s s e d on with m y

w o u l d normally g i v e y o u a n o t h e r w e e k , how-

the e n d of this i n t e r m i n a b l e drivel, if you can b e b o t h e r e d to r e a d that far.

t a s k , f o r m u l a t i n g the e i g h t y c l u e s required

ever, s o m e c o m p l e t e d it r e g a r d l e s s (pointing

a n d losing significant a m o u n t s of hair. You

out the m i s t a k e of c o u r s e ) a n d there is n o w

m a y e v e n t u a l l y d e c i d e it w a s n ' t w o r t h it, but

too

I'm not g o i n g to be here for y o u to tell m e , s o

E l l i o t t of C h e m E n g III w i n s 1 2 0 9 ' s prize of

It s i m p l y w o u l d n ' t b e a final i s s u e of Felix

I'm not o v e r l y c o n c e r n e d . T h e result is t h e

a ÂŁ 1 0 b o o k t o k e n . P l e a s e try to p r y it from

w i t h o u t a h u g e list of t h a n k s to t h o s e who

quadr ilat er a l

the h a n d s of our e d i t o r a s s o o n a s y o u c a n . . .

m a d e it all p o s s i b l e . . . I will try to avoid doing

the c l u e s are p l a c e d s o m e w h a t c o n v e n t i o n -

bring a crowbar.

ally to the right. G o o d luck - it s h o u l d be

N e x t to 1 2 1 0 , for w h i c h d i d r e c e i v e a p o t e n -

F u d g e w h o p r o d u c e d m a n y a great cross-

p r e t t y easy, but m a y t a k e a while if y o u d o n ' t

tially c o r r e c t e n t r y but t h e e d i t o r lost it d u e

w o r d , giving y o u all w e l c o m e relief from my

k n o w all the a n s w e r s .

to a freak a c c i d e n t including a c h a i r a n d o n e

e f f o r t s . N o t only o v e r - s e x e d , but over your

of the Felix c o m p u t e r s . S o , if y o u did bring in

n e a r e s t i c e - c r e a m d e s s e r t too. U n f o r t u n a t e -

behemoth

found

above, and

little

term

left.

Therefore,

Amy

Thank

you

Paltrow. S p e c i a l t h a n k s

go to

27th June 2001 â&#x20AC;˘ Felix

Hot

he Felix Crossword Across:

57. O m i s s i o n allows you to see too well. (9)

Il3. Straight-laced, and certainly not looking

58. Lions precede fall. (5)

to go white-water rafting. (13) 14. Rasp barrel's bottom, perhaps. (6)

manager. (7)

6 1 . A note. (5)

24. C r y i n g points to milking, only thicker. (9)

62. Grovelling to begin with an initial double

26. Plank on d e c k ? (6)

gin? (7)

15. Fear of 3 8 ' s leader, w e hear. (6)

27. Without manners and acting sick. (3-7)

63. Thematic mania has a head for numbers.

17. Peer wraps on behalf of chili. (6)

23. The panacea ate her, hears the m u s e u m ' s

(13)

18. U s u a l location is frequent. (11)

30. Duplicator is choppier too? (5-6) 3 1 . Flea in royalty makes jumpers. (5)

19. L e g s are final hour, perhaps. (8)

6 7 . W W 2 cipher flea is v e r y mysterious. (9)

32. S t a n d straight, listening intently. (9)

|20. Critical work s e e s again. (7)

6 9 . Knock-out seat folding on beach. (4-5)

34. N a v e l activates s t o m a c h , perhaps. (5,6)

21. Proximity to a J a s o n , s e e ? (9)

7 1 . A c t like before bad dent. (7)

37. W a r s try to get away. (9)

22. Murderous aid, perhaps, really goes with

75. M e s s ate C r e t e , and s o on... (8)

38. Firearm art explodes on R o m a n d r y land.

its outfit. (9)

76. Keeping up materialisations. (11)

25. Prevents actors from falling out of windows . (6,7)

(5-5)

77. Hell shortly encountered a hat. (6)

4 2 . A q u a i n t e d with shelf, y o u have the infor-

78. S p i c e time of year. (6)

mation. (9)

28. Responde r pretends again. (7)

79. Mythical key. (6)

s29. S o u n d s like a neutered garden implement!

80. B r o a d s h e e t ' s post holds cables (9,4)

4 7 . O p e r a ' s lead harbour alliances present

(5)

good possibilities. (13) 48. In Imperial political style, it's an atypical

33. C o n s t r i c t o r on back street craft. (5)

Down:

[35. U n u s e d country is a tip! (9)

S i e z e ante-room. (6)

lathe. (13) 49. C e l e b r i t y is in t w o points of smarmy gen-

36. Feeling a little incredible? (11)

Tea paid five to be multipurpose, (8)

• 9 . Increase rank to make you buy more! (9)

Rebellious rip offs? (4-5)

50. Depth works it out. (7)

J10. Precipitation prophet is a stormy guy. (10)

Broth in a warehouse? (5)

5 1 . Drat! A French a n d frozen w a s t e l a n d ! (6)

41. Hack into bottomless Eden to have gone

Plan before obtaining spiritual harmony

55. C r i c k e t ground at altitude hurts the ears

to G r e t n a G r e e n , perhaps. (6)

(11)

tlemen. (5)

(4-7)

43. A sweet spy - are y o u bad? (5)

44. C r e e p to short trainer. (5)

C l e a r s record's, perhaps, itch. (9)

60. Feature boats in s p a c e ! (9)

U5. Liquid from emptied glass is a little

W e d d i n g boys in hardback, maybe. (5)

64. Feline tries to fly through small doors (8)

Trains and cars over this unslanted spot-

65. Pubs tax regards initial n a m e - s a k e s . (7)

marking. (5-8)

66. Fish go for education there, w e hear (5)

unsteady on its feet. (5) w6. Sit on f a e c e s ? (5)

Lights have a growler, I hear. (6)

59. Lowly nails provides foundation. (9)

E2. Natural water has been made bouncy. (6)

10. M a r i n a d e d uphill. (7)

53. Dust cloud in make-up kit. (6-4)

11. L a w y e r s are pants! (6)

70. W a r m e d vicious d i s c u s s i o n . (6)

i54. Like ruling party is tiring! (9)

12. C o l u m n gets diploma for researchers.

72. Require the French pin. (6)

(4,9)

16. C o n f e c t i o n e r y without resistance is kind I

68. O i l is the word. (6)

73. Fruit gets you metre. (5)

16. S e t up around misery. (5)

at heart. (4-7)

74. C o n s u m e r s are roughly sure on point. (5)

ly, he's still in exams as Felix went to press,

for

self-flagellating

w i s h y o u w e l l , a n d you'll have to put up with

lut I'm told he'll ooze over next year's pages

tirades when I realised phenomenon wasn't

the a l t o g e t h e r inferior c r o s s w o r d s f oun d in

Irith abandon. Thanks also to Turnip Henry,

officially spelt with "Do-do-do-do-do" sung

the b r o a d s h e e t s ( w h o a m I k i d d i n g ? ) . If y o u

Nth a bigger vocabulary than any other root

after it, as well as occasionally proofing and

are c o m i n g b a c k next year, then I'm sure

vegetable I've met, for he did many a cross-

trying out crosswords. Thanks also to Carol

w e ' l l m e e t a g a i n in s o m e g u i s e o r other.

pord at the beginning of this year before I

Vorderman who took more verbal abuse than

jven ventured into this office. These thanks

a television presenter generally deserves.

|re so richly deserved because it does in fact

Finally, thanks to Mike and Will who are just

Across:

Heirloom

take rather a while to compile one of thiese

great people and (if you'll indulge me) my

Peace,

Waists,

pings and can, done regularly, take impor-

flatmates, parents, producers of all fine Eng-

C l a s s , O b s e r v e , P a c k i n g , B l a c k s m i t h , Yell,

tant chunks of time away from your academ-

lish dictionaries and every single person who

S a d i s t i c , N o o d l e , Drill, S q u a r e s t . Down:

ic, social and sex lives (though Dr Hot Fudge

has ever worked behind the bar in the Union.

sure, H o u s e W i v e s , Impairs, Spiv, C a n c e l ,

Combined the task with the

latter

dictionary

and

quite

effectively). Thanks of course to the Editor, •hn,

the

nd many thanks to all those clever people

you, and congratulations if you managed to

only completed their

crossword

P d s , but made it all the way over to the

a s Hierloom), Menu,

World Pres-

board, D i s c u s s , C r i t i c , Lulls, Till.

It now remains only for me to say goodbye to

not

(mis-spelt Advocate,

J e t t i s o n , Inane, D i a p h a n o u s , B o l l a r d s , K e y Goodbye

for indulging my requests for prizes

A n s w e r s to C r o s s w o r d 1 2 0 9

A n s w e r s to C r o s s w o r d 1 2 1 0 Flea, A l a r m C l o c k , S t r a d d l e , U d d e r s ,

read this far. I hope you all have a fabulous

Across:

summer, be it wallowing

Tedium, P a t t e r e d , B a l d , N a p p y , N i c e , Airliner,

in exotic

seas,

plix division of the Big Brother studio to

investigating new and unspoiled foreign cul-

G l o o m y , Lawyer, C l u t c h e s , Rainforest, Iced.

P n d them into me. Also, thanks for putting

tures, or trapped in a packed tube train,

Down.-

IP with the occasional mistake. Thanks to

stopped in the middle of the tunnel, with a

A m o u n t , B l u d g e o n , Scar, Paper, E n c u m b e r e d ,

r e members of the Felix staff who tolerated

child projectile-vomiting over your leg.

D e l a y i n g , Yoghurts,

fV disturbed mumblings, repeated searches

If you're not coming back next year, then I

Chef.

P Felix • 27th June 2001

Glitterati, S a f a r i , H a n d y m a n , M a d e , Narrow,

Crossword

Orchid,

Ajar,

Don't sink next year

Tell next year's students about what you do- put an entry in the Union Handbook Entries should not be more than 200 words and should be sent to d p c s @ i c . a c . u k by 1st July For extra effect why not include a picture?

—

Felix returns in the Autumn under new management- and with a new office

| i %

ist ail de< atfelix@ic.ac.uk.

threats & offers c

B -

All letters should be sent to: Will Dugdale, Editor Felix The Media Centre Beit Quad Prince Consort Road SW7 2BB The new offfice is in the basement of Beit Quad on the left-hand side as you enter from the street. Feel free to drop in for coffee.

•

The phone number remains the same- 020 759 48072

2t)

ion

• 27th June 2001

.Felix*

Thankyou lain A n g u s For the helpful a d v i c e , c o n f i d e n c e and p r o v i d i n g a f o o t r e s t (and k e e p i n g t h e g o t h t h i n g to y o u r s e l f ) M u s t a f a A r i f T h e o n l y p e r s o n in C o l l e g e w i t h a s i m i l a r j o b to m i n e - g o o d j o b on t h e w e b s i t e B a s h a r i B a k a r i W e l l - w r i t t e n , r e v e a l i n g i n t e r v i e w s w i t h t o p b u s i n e s s m e n - a n d y o u e v e n l a i d t h e p a g e s out y o u r s e l f ! T o m B a i l e s s O n e of my m o s t f a i t h f u l s t a f f , e n t h u s i a s t i c a n d f u l l of g o o d i d e a s ( s e e p a g e 14) P e t e B o y l e F o r t h e s t o r i e s & g o s s i p - s o r r y the M a s t e r p l a n didn't work out, you did a good job though K e v i n B u t c h e r U n d o u b t e d l y t h e n i c e s t p e r s o n in the U n i o n R u t h C h a p p i e F o r t h e a d v i c e H e l e n a C o c h e m e F o r s h o w i n g u n d e n i a b l e c o u r a g e in t h e f a c e of a d v e r s i t y - a n d b e i n g s o s w e e t H a m i s h C o m m o n Y o u r e n c y c l o p e d i c k n o w l e d g e of a l l t h i n g s U n i o n h a s s a v e d my s k i n a f e w t i m e s - t h a n k s N i n a D e R o y G o o d w r i t i n g s t y l e , a n d I l o s t c o u n t of h o w m a n y t i m e s y o u s t a y e d up a l l n i g h t to do an a r t i c l e W i l l D u g d a l e A r g u a b l y t h e o n l y p e r s o n w i t h a s e n s e of h u m o u r m o r e f u c k e d up t h a n m i n e , i t ' s a l w a y s v e r y o b v i o u s w h e n i t ' s y o u w a l k i n g up the s t a i r s . G o o d l u c k next y e a r ! K a t h e r i n e D y e r - P e r r y F o r t a l k i n g me out of d o i n g s o m a n y s t u p i d t h i n g s , a n d t h e only person w h o s e advice includes "go h o m e " S t e f Evans S u r p r i s i n g l y sharp for a f l u f f y s a b b , y o u ' v e got me out of m a n y a s c r a p e , a n d h o p e f u l l y d o n e o u r r e a d e r s a lot of g o o d J o h n F o s t e r T h a n k s f o r b e i n g s u c h a g o o d s p o r t - a n d w e l l d o n e f o r not t a k i n g t h e b a i t v e r y o f t e n D r H o t F u d g e F o r t h e u n a s h a m e d s e X w o r d s & a p p e a r i n g in t h a t p i c t u r e M a r i a m G h o r b a n n e j a d F o r t h e e n t h u s i a s m , a n d t h e b e s t w o r d s t h a t a n y c o u l d s a y to m e : " W h a t do y o u w a n t me to w r i t e a b o u t " V i c k y H i n d D i t t o P e t e , R a g g a i n e d a lot f r o m y o u r e n t h u s i a s m A n d y H o u l d s w o r t h If w e w e r e a s i t c o m , y o u ' d s o e a s i l y be m u s i c e d i t o r , a r g u a b l y t o o c o o l to be h e r e M a r k H o m e F o r t h e c o m e d y - on a n d off s t a g e M a n d y H u r f o r d F o r t h e a d v i c e and being so u n d e r s t a n d i n g - d e s p i t e the fact I c a u s e more trouble than anyone e l s e C h r i s J a c k s o n F o r a l l the w o r k in M e d i a G r o u p , d e l i v e r i n g us f r o m e v i l a n d f o r p u t t i n g up w i t h my a c c o u n t i n g M a t t h e w K a p l a n G o o d S c i e n c e p a g e t h i s y e a r a n d I w a s f l a t t e r e d to be a s k e d f o r a d v i c e by y o u - t h i n k it s h o u l d h a v e b e e n t h e other w a y r o u n d . No t hank s for the music t h o u g h ! J o n a s L i n d s a y For being e n t h u s i a s t i c & a g o o d p h o t o g r a p h e r - s o r r y I c o u l d n ' t f i n d m u c h f o r y o u to d o a n d I r e a l l y w a s n ' t t r y i n g to g e t y o u k i l l e d by s e n d i n g y o u on d a n g e r o u s a s s i g n m e n t s M C P L i t h o F o r p u l l i n g off m i r a c l e s on a w e e k l y b a s i s , d e s p i t e my e r r a t i c w o r k and timing J o n a t h a n M a t t h e w s For the b o o k s , the o p i n i o n s & the friendship, thanks G a r e t h M o r g a n For t e a c h i n g me, w e l l , e v e r y t h i n g , I think you d e s e r v e a p a g e of y o u r o w n W a i l e r N e d F o r s c r e w i n g up p e o p l e s ' m i n d s D r e w N i e n h u i s D i t t o J o n a t h a n , a n d f o r p u t t i n g up w i t h t h e s t a t e of t h e o f f i c e , me losing y o u r p o s t a n d s c r e w i n g up y o u r p a g e s A n d y O f o r i A d v i c e , a n d me t a k i n g t h e p i s s out of y o u r j o b . G o be a g o o d m a n a g e m e n t c o n s u l t a n t P e n e l o p e P a r k e r G o o d l u c k w i t h W i l l D a v e P a r r y F o r not k i l l i n g me L u c y P e n m a n F o r s a v i n g a lot of e m b a r r a s s i n g m i s t a k e s S t e v e P e r r o t t F o r a l l t h e d r i v i n g - c a n ' t h a v e b e e n fun D a v e R o b e r t s F o r g i v i n g me s o m e o n e to l o o k up t o , a n d s o m e o n e to t r y a n d p r o v e w r o n g H a m al R u b i a e B r i n g i n g a lot to t h e j o b - g o o d l u c k t o o N i k o l a i S e g u r a For filling the letters page for a w h o l e term, you h e a t h e n ! Ed S e x t o n I h o p e in a f e w y e a r s t i m e I'll g e t to be a s g o o d a w r i t e r a s y o u - E a r l ' s C o u r t w o n ' t be t h e s a m e w i t h o u t y o u S a m S h a r p e F o r t h e b a n t e r , a d v i c e a n d e v e n t h e o c c a s i o n a l column J a g S i n g h A l s o for the a r t i c l e s , and for s t a n d i n g your ground over human rights. M a d e for a S e r i o u s D e b a t e Tim S t e r r y G r e a t s t o r y , s o r r y I got y o u r n a m e w r o n g P a s c a l e T a y l o r F o r s t a y i n g up a l l t h o s e l a t e n i g h t s - not s u r e w h y R i c h a r d T a y l o r F o r t h e g o s s i p , e v e n w h e n it i n v o l v e d me A n d r e w W h e e l e r F a r t o o c l a s s y f o r a m e d i c , y o u ' r e o n e of the f e w p e o p l e I k n o w I c o u l d i m a g i n e a s a r e a l d o c t o r . . . G r e a t e f f o r t on t h e a r t s p a g e s J u s t i n v a n d e r T o o r n N i c e l o g o s , t h a n k s f o r b r i g h t e n i n g up t h e p a g e s J o W h i t e P r o o f - r e a d i n g A N D w o r k ing w i t h l a i n . S o b r a v e A l i s d a i r W r e n I r e a l l y t h r e w y o u in at t h e d e e p e n d a n d y o u c a m e up t r u m p s in the f i r s t w e e k . A l w a y s f u l l of i d e a s a n d a g r e a t s e n s e of humour A n d e v e r y o n e e l s e w h o ' s h e l p e d t h i s y e a r - s o r r y if I've m i s s e d a n y o n e o u t . T h a n k s for r e a d i n g

John Felix â&#x20AC;˘ 27th June

2001

The End