10 M a y 2002 Issue 1135
The Student Newspaper for Imperial College
http://www.union.ic.ac.uk/felix/
GFQI haw
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More bizarre rantings from the editor. (Page 8)
'Airport Lounge' Takes Off ally m a n a g e d to find independent fundi n g from three sources: t h e Faculty of M e d i c i n e itself, H a m m e r s m i t h S p e c i a l Trustees, a n d College itself. H e also has the fortune to be one of the few students w h o has ever seen a project completed d u r i n g their time here, w i t h the total u n d e r t a k i n g c o m p l e t e d i n less t h a n t w o years.
The n e w bar on the C h a r i n g Cross H o s p i t a l c a m p u s w a s officially opened last Tuesday, a w e e k after it h a d come into active operation. Situated i n the Reynolds B u i l d i n g o n St. D u n s t a n s Street, this n e w b a r is t h e result of t h e refurbishment of w h a t w a s ( s o m e w h a t ) affectionately k n o w n to older students as the 'Airport Lounge'. The total cost of the project w a s around 1.5 m i l l i o n pounds, a n d o n entering the bar it is easy to see w h e r e this money has gone. In a d d i t i o n to the fully l i c e n s e d bar, there is a 'snack' shop w i t h fixed seating area, a n d a dance area w h i c h contains sofas a n d c h a i r s b y day, w h i c h are cleared a w a y to form a dance floor b y night. N e e d l e s s to say there is a huge s o u n d s y s t e m a n d a video projection screen to accommodate the entertainment of a s t a n d a r d night out. The project w a s initially started b y L o m e M c E w a n , President of the M e d i c s ' S t u d e n t U n i o n last year, h i s o r i g i n a l intention b e i n g to refurbish St. M a r y ' s
The New Bar at Charing Cross Bar i n Paddington. However, w h e n it became clear that this w a s not g o i n g to be possible for space reasons, he t u r n e d his attention to other c a m p i , w i t h this final result.
A n o t h e r u n u s u a l aspect of the b a r is the license, the hours of w h i c h have been extended b y s p e c i a l p e r m i s s i o n after a deal w a s struck w i t h the West L o n d o n M a g i s t r a t e s Court. H a v i n g heard that medic students w ork very antisocial hours, the magistrates agreed that t h e Students' U n i o n w o u l d not have to apply for late l i c e n s e s o n W e d n e s d a y a n d Friday nights, b u t that they s h o u l d b e granted to the C h a r i n g C r o s s B a r as a matter of course. continued on page 2
Despite original problems getting fundi n g from t h e U n i o n , Mr. M c E w a n eventu-
"Felix can announce that Imperial students have, over one year, raised over one hundred thousand pounds i caus
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college news
Summer Ball Line Up The m u s i c a l line u p for t h e off from h i s r e s i d e n c y at SchoolDisco.com to relive h i s Summer B a l l o n 8 J u n e has finally b e e n announced b y the halcyon days, w i l l b e p l a y i n g Summer B a l l Committee. cheesy pop i n the J C R . O n t h e m a i n stage w i l l be o l d favourites T h e J a m e s Taylor Quartet, w h o appeared at last year's ball, a n d they w i l l be ably supported b y upcoming Swedish band, Mos Eisly, w h o are n a m e d after a t o w n i n Star Wars. However, h e a d l i n i n g o n the m a i n stage w i l l b e Cornershop, a b a n d w h o s e a l b u m "confirms t h e m as t h e most v i t a l inventive force at w o r k i n B r i t i s h p o p music today" (Daily Telegraph). There w i l l also b e several D J s dotted around the venue, p l a y i n g different styles of m u s i c i n various rooms. U n i o n E n t s A l u m n u s ( a n d minor College Celebrity) Mark H o m e , w h o i s t a k i n g a night
from page 1 Better t h a n the hype, however, is t h e reaction that t h e bar h a s already received i n the first f e w days of b e i n g opened. Last Friday s a w t h e first bop, a n d there are many reports of students arriving at 9:30 i n t h e e v e n i n g t o b e t u r n e d a w a y d u e t o overc r o w d i n g b e i n g a fire risk. W h i l e this w a s the first night, m a n y are expecting t h e next few F r i d a y s t o b e just as packed, as more students t u r n u p to see whether the n e w bar is as good as they have been told. There have even b e e n fears that this may lead to less money being taken i n the older South Kensington Bars, as students from that campus investigate t h e n e w facilities that are n o w available. Of the students w h o attende d last week, a n overwhelmi n g majority were very positive about the bar, w i t h most
For t h e more serious clubber, t h e dance room w i l l b e
In addition to the music, the fun-fair w i l l r e t u r n w i t h a vengeance, a n d the evening w i l l finish w i t h fireworks over College. T h e Committee have also managed t o secure cheap
Issue 1235 10 May 2002 Editor: w i l l Dugdale Deputy Editor: A l i Wren N e w s : Vacant Chief Reporter: J o h n Stratford M u s i c : Dave E d w a r d s Books: J o n M a t t h e w s Film: Darius N i k b i n Sports: Vacant C r o s s w o r d : Dr. Hot F u d g e W i t h Thanks To: Everyone & Rachel
host t o t h e Scratch Perverts (who w o n t h e D M C Team World C h a m p i o n s h i p s 1999), a n d t h e A r t f u l Dodger, w h o needs no introduction, author of the club classic Rewind.
c i t i n g t h e large amount of space a n d central bar as their reasons. O n l y a few have been negative, t h e most common concern b e i n g the proximity of a h o s p i t al to a b u n c h of l o u d a n d drunk students. Despite this, those w h o attended c l a i m e d that it w a s generally quiet as s t u d e n t s left t h e establishment, a n d apparently 'the sound doesn't travel'. In a d d i t i o n to the refurbishment of the bar, the basement g y m has also been re-done a n d i s n o w a fully functional cardio-vascular g y m w i t h a l l the s t a n d a r d e q u i p m e n t . It w a s opened b y former zoology student S i m o n Dennis, w h o w a s a gold medallist i n t h e British M e n ' s R o w i n g Eight, d u r i n g t h e 2000 Sydney Olympics. Due t o a lack of any r i b b o n to cut, however, he pronounced the g y m open b y opening the door. will
hire of Dinner Jackets from M o s s Bros a n d Pegaso, a n d to guarantee a ticket, y o u w i l l soon be able to b u y t h e m from Waterstones, the U n i o n reception, a n d J C R at lunchtimes.
Felix, Beit Q u a d , Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB Tel: 020 7594 8072 E m a i l : felix@ic.ac.uk Felix is a registered newspaper: ISSN 1 0 4 0 - 0 7 1 1 Copyright © Felix 2002 Printed by: MCP Litho Ltd
The Chaplaincy to Imperial College & the Royal College of Art presents
The Riding Lights Roughshod Theatre Company in
SCIENCE FRICTION COULD Y O U
PLAY
G O D ?
Provocative Dynamic Breath-taking Theatre
§11« In a world where scientists are often accused of 'playing God', how can we combine the volatile elements of scientific discovery, faith and moral responsibility?
Friday 17 May, 7.30pm Holy Trinity Church, Prince Consort Rd
Tickets at £5/£3 available from the C h a p l a i n c y Centre, East B a s e m e n t , Beit Q u a d , 0 2 0 7594 9 6 0 0 , chaplaincy@ic.ac.uk. M o r e information atwww.chaplaincy.ic.ac.uk & www.ridinglights.org.
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talk union
£100k Charity Total It's b e e n a w h i l e since the last R A G R a m b l e , but t h i n g s i n t h e w o r l d of R a i s i n g a n d G i v i n g money for charity haven't stopped. W i t h the help of a few short emails a n d a n extremely large calculator, Felix c a n announce that Imperial students have, over one year, r a i s e d over one h u n d r e d t h o u s a n d pounds for various g o o d causes!
ness charity Shelter, thanks to R u t h Roberts a n d crew. Wye R A G Week, organised b y Thomas B r a d s h a w for Kent A i r A m b u l a n c e w a s a b i g success. L i B i n a n d Singapore Society's charity jogathon a n d flag day help mentally d i s a b l e d c h i l d r e n i n Singapore t h r o u g h the charity M I N D S .
So m a n y groups a n d individuals have committed t h e i r t i m e a n d effort to h e l p i n g good causes, from o r g a n i s i n g entire charity w e e k s to sponsored runs, p u b crawls, abseils, Great H a l l s h o w s , the L o n d o n Marathon and dressing up as Pudsey. Some events have raised more t h a n others, but every single penny r a i s e d means extra c a s h for charities that desperately n e e d it. Below, i n order of m a g n i t u d e b u t without numbers (this charity t h i n g isn't a n ego t r i p , right?) t h e p e o p l e w h o have contributed to that incredible charity total are: • The I C S M S U R A G Week t e a m chaired b y medic Hayley Kirsop raised phenomenal amounts for C L I C , the 3 H F u n d a n d Parkside H o s p i t a l Radio. • Islamic Society's charity a p p e a l supported Islamic Reliefs work in Afghanistan. • I C U R a g Week, organised b y the I C U R A G committee, r a i s e d funds to b u i l d t h e first S h o o t i n g Star C h i l d r e n ' s H o s p i c e i n West L o n d o n . • D a n i e l J a m e s & J o a n n a Wiser r a n the L o n d o n M a r a t h o n for Scope. • Orchestra members collected for H e l p the A g e d at a Royal A l b e r t H a l l concert. • L I N K S Society's J e n n i W o o d organised s p o n s o r e d a b s e i l i n g for St J o h n Ambulance. • Chemistry postgrad E m m a Watson w a s silent for seven days to help B B C Children i n Need. • S t u p i d games on the Queen's L a w n at Sports Day r a i s e d c a s h for homeless-
Inspired yet? There's still a chance for i n d i v i d u a l s out there to raise that t o t a l e v e n more - I C U R A G are organising parachute jumps to raise c a s h for any charity y o u w a n t to support. So if you're feeling dangerous e m a i l rag@ic.ac.uk for more details. A l s o if you're feeling dangerous, the post of I C U R A G chair is o p e n to anyone at t h e U n i o n A G M on T h u r s d a y ' ^ ' f : : . - 16th M a r c h , at 1pm. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to support, encourage a n d 11 generally let everyone at II Imperial k n o w about any charity events at Imperial. || You'll also h e a d u p t h e II t e a m that organises the §| a n n u a l I C U R A G Week. It's more hard w o r k t h a n 11 you've ever imagmed, but it's more fun t h a n y o u c o u l d possibly ask for too. I promise! Nomination
Tom Scorer is still r a i s i n g c a s h for W h i z z Kids, check out the sports p a g e s to find out more. India
Soc's
incredible
"East
Meets
West" h e l p e d the international h u m a n i t a r i a n m e d i c a l charity M e d i c i n s Sans Frontieres. U n i o n welfare officers
collected c a s h
for U K AIDS victims i n the
Imperial
A I D S A w a r e n e s s week. John-Joe Reilly and the Falmouth Keogh Hall committee stunned Southside w i t h a s h o w for Rotherham Hospice. H i n d u Society's charity w e e k events s u p p o r t e d charity S e w a International. S i l w o o d Park's v a r i o u s f u n d r a i s i n g s h e n a n i g a n s d o n a t e d to Prostate C a n c e r Research a n d G u i d e Dogs for the B l i n d .
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§ji || R A G committee exist to £ help your club, society or ^ h a l l of residence do someI I t h i n g for charity next year. ^ A n d if y o u w a n t to r u n the marathon, bungee from a bridge, trek through the H i m a l a y as or ride from L a n d s E n d to J o h n O'Groats o n a unicycle, y o u k n o w w h e r e to come to m a k e your insane a m b i tions reality! Rag Mag Better late t h a n never, the I C U R A G M a g w i l l be out a n d about i n the U n i o n soon. That's if the sabbaticals don't decide it's too offensive... Useful as b o t h a revision a i d a n d spare toilet paper, it costs a q u i d a n d proceeds go to the Shooting Star Trust, b u i l d i n g a home for terminally i l l children i n Kensington, C h e l s e a a n d all of West L o n d o n . Going for the bum... And don't forget to check out Page 16 for more on how you can help make more money for charity by getting drunk!
felix talk
IC Radio Objectivity We at Felix thought it might be refreshing to have some IC Radio banter (it's the official term, you know) from someone without a membership. I appreciate that the kind of self-praise or w i l f ul unconventionality, either w a y designed to make you think the authors are Cool, that y o u see here each week is not always easy to believe. So here w e are; an objective opinion from a non-member of IC Radio. If anything, I'm slightly biased against them, as I must share a basement w i t h them. If the stench of rotting Chinese takeaway i n the Felix office doesn't get me, Photo-soc haven't kidnapped me for a modelling shoot (guffaw) or a dalek escaped from the Sci-Fi library fails to "exterminate" me, then the quakeinducing reverberations from the IC Radio studio may occasionally b e g i n to grate. Deprecation What can a bunch of students do, anyway? A surprising amount actually, like spot that it's bad literary style to ask rhetorical questions i n newspaper articles. They can also make good radio. Those w i t h a technical disposition are i n their element producing
shows, installing and fixing equipment, and playing w i t h panels whose sole purpose is to blink periodically whilst yelling "phase lock that transducer into the primary reticulation port" a n d "she canna take m u c h more o' this captain" - or w a s that IC Sci-Fi Society? Meanwhile, the arty types - y o u know, they wear patchwork trousers and sun-hats - are charismatic, musical or just " z a n y " over the air-waves. If you're not averse to a n eyeful, then try the w e b c a m too. Top ten achievements of IC Radio Ten: Letting me write this article. Nine: Their award-wirrning website a n d webcasts. Eight: Their celebrity jingle line-up. Seven: Adopting "fisting" as a punishment. Six: A l l o w i n g Will and I to present a truly daft hour-long show w h e n we're tired and panicking. Five: A c t u a l l y archiving that show! Four: Renaming 'George' to Jerry' so that their show could infringe ice cream manufacturers' trademarks. Three: G i v i n g me a colour logo to print i n black-and-white every week. Two: Thinking that having a show presented b y t w o naked m e n w o u l d improve listening figures. One: N a m i n g
their waste paper b i n "Lucy," inspiredly after the name embossed on its lid. What I was meant to say W h e n Steve, the current IC Radio Station Manager - amusingly abbreviated S M , yes it is funny, it is - breathlessly asked me to write the IC Radio column before he tore head-long into a pile of books like a panicstricken a n d highly literate squirrel, he asked me to write something that w o u l d encourage people to listen to IC Radio and say h o w great they were. Well, maybe I haven't been entirely honest so far - they are a pretty good bunch. I even went to their A G M w i t h the express intention of s k e w i n g the election counts b y raising m y u n w a s h e d non-member hand occasionally whilst drinking beer, but even that didn't make t h e m hurt me. So, to s u m u p IC Radio, if you can't join 'em, listen to 'em - 9 9 9 A M or at the address hinted at below. AW
icradio www.icradio.com
Chaplaincy: Stress is... Stress is the 'wear a n d tear' our bodies experience as w e adjust to our continually changing environment; it has physical and emotional effects on us and can create positive or negative feelings. A s a positive influence, stress c a n help compel us to action; it can result i n a n e w awareness and an exciting n e w perspective. A s a negative influence, it can result i n feelings of distrust, rejection, anger, and depression, w h i c h i n turn can lead to health problems such as headaches, upset stomach, rashes, insomnia, ulcers, high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke. Stress w i l l help or hinder
tions a n d sorrows a d d depth a n d enrichment to our lives. W e need to learn h o w to manage stress rather than eliminate it. Insufficient stress acts as a depressant and may leave us feeling bored or dejected; o n the other hand, excessive stress may leave us feeling tied u p i n knots. Identifying unrelieved stress and being aware of its effect on our lives is not sufficient for reducing its harmful effects. Just as there are many sources of stress, there are many possibilities for its management.
us depending on how w e react to it.
Become aware of stress a n d emotional and physical reactions. Dorit ignore it or gloss over your problems.
75% of the general population experiences at least 'some stress' every t w o weeks (National Health Interview Survey). Positive stress adds anticipation a n d excitement to life, and w e all thrive under a certain amount of stress. Deadlines, competitions, confrontations, and even our frustra-
Recognise what you c a n change. C a n you change your stressors, if they're not exams, by avoiding or eliminating them? C a n you shorten your exposure to stress? Reduce the intensity of your emotional reactions to stress. A r e y o u v i e w i ng your stressors i n exaggerated terms and/or tak-
i n g a difficult situation and making it a disaster? A r e you expecting to please everyone? A r e you overreacting? Put the situation i n perspective. Do not labour o n the negative aspects and the 'what if's. Learn to moderate your physical reactions to stress. Slow, deep breathing a n d relaxation can help i n reducing stress, as c a n taking exercise and a healthy diet. M a i n t a i n your emotional reserves. Develop some mutually supportive friendships. Pursue realistic goals, w h i c h are mearringful to you, rather than goals others have for you that you do not share. Expect some frustrations, failures, and sorrows. A l w a y s be kind and gentle w i t h yourself. If you are experiencing stress you are not alone. There are people at Imperial w h o can help. The Health Centre (49375/6), Student Counsellors (49430), The C h a p l a i n c y (49600) or your Tutor.
talk union
State Of The Union Summer Ball
Annual General Meeting The U n i o n annual general meeting w i l l take place on Thursday 16th May. It is a chance for everyone to find out about the various U n i o n activities this year. It w i l l also be a chance to ask the officers of the Union about their work this year. The main feature w i l l be the elections for Union officers for next year. The nomination papers are on the President's board (level one of the U n i o n Building). You c a n email me for more information.
M a n y of you w o u l d have seen the bright pink posters for the Summer Ball. The event w i l l be taking place on Saturday 8th June. C u r r e n t l y the acts include C o r n e r S h o p , J a m e s Taylor Quartet, S c r a t c h Perverts a n d A r t f u l Dodger. A d d e d to that the event w i l l feature fairground rides, games stalls, cocktail bars and more. It promises to be bigger a n d better t h a n ever before. Tickets c a n be obtained from the U n i o n Reception.
Degree A w a r d i n g P o w e r s A s some of you are aware the College has applied for reserve degree a w a r d i n g p o w ers. C u r r e n t l y the C o l l e g e awards University of L o n d o n degrees but the College w o u l d like to a w a r d its o w n degrees under the Imperial College name. This w i l l also allow greater control over our degree programmes and be an important part i n the strategy towards increasing the global b r a n d of Imperial College. It is fully expected that w e w i l l be awarded these pow ers later this year.
Charing Cross This w e e k also s a w the official opening of the n e w student facility at C h a r i n g Cross. This project is the b i g g e s t since the development of the Beit Basements and is located i n the Reynolds building. This n e w facility features a brand n e w bar, cafeteria, B O P area complete w i t h D J booth, stage and lighting. The n e w facility also features a brand n e w g y m i n the basements. The project greatly improves student facilitates on the C h a r i n g Cross C a m p u s and is open to all students. Keep
an eye out for publicity on the events taking place there this term. Beit Q u a d The Beit Q u a d w i l l undergo a facelift over the coming weeks. The project w i l l see n e w l a w n s and paths laid w i t h improved facilities i n the quad. There w i l l also be n e w bike racks for students to use. The Union w i l l be open for business as usual. Lost t h e U n i o n ? Apologies to all those w h o have been confused by the location of the U n i o n reception a n d the S t u d e n t A c t i v i t i e s Centre. This has i n part been due to the necessary heating w o r k s i n the building. Just to clarify the n e w permanent home of the Students Activities Centre (formally k n o w n as the Resource Centre) is in the East W i n g of the Beit Basements. The Union reception w i l l be located on the first floor (access v i a the East staircase) and w i l l move back to its normal position next week. Sen Ganesh,
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Union Annual General Meeting 1pm, Union Dining Hall Thursday 16th May Elections for: Council Chair RAG Chair Community Action Group Chair Equal Opportunities Officer Welfare Campaigns Officer Web Editor
Nominations papers on the President's Notice Board (Level 1 Union building). Papers down 12 noon, 16th May 2002. Please contact Sen Ganesh (president@ic.ac.uk) for more details.
back talk N U S already (again!) Dear Sir, I've seen many student politicians come and go at Imperial, and heard most of them come up w i t h some excuse or other as to w h y their year w a s not the unmitigated success they promised at hustings. The C h a i r m a n of the "Yes to N U S " campaign, however, takes the biscuit. You don't have to be i n the N U S to find out about student discounts. You don't have to be in the N U S to lobby government. You don't have to be i n the N U S to provide officer training. But if you elect sabbatical officers w h o prefer to sit around moaning about their job, take w e e k s off at a time to
I must say that the huge amount of empty managerial buzzwords that composed the Union president's statement of intent in last week's Felix d i d not reassure me very m u c h in that matter! But being n e w here, I am probably mistaken. Matthew Cand
A Cross C o u n t r y
Like the majority of students here (at least those w h o voted), I w a s relieved to see that IC w o u l d not join the NUS, for reasons that have b e e n d i s c u s s e d at length around here. The voice of IC seems to be "We can represent ourselves very well, and prefer to do so!" However, I hope that this w i l l n o w effectively be done, and that the students of IC w i l l make their voice heard! Of course, on student issues such as grants, but also on
Re: your personal plea (Felix 1233), I find it a disgrace that you have the audacity to print an article on m u d wrestling, and plea for more sports articles to be sent in, w h e n you are sent perfectly good articles from sports clubs w h i c h you decline to print. O n February 20th, you were sent an article by David Mulvee, a member of the Cross-Country club and Hyde Park Relays committee. It w a s a review of the largest student relay race in Britain, w h i c h is organised by I C U Cross-Country club. It w a s the 54th running of this annual event that brought over 700 hundred students to the college on February 16th, over 280 of w h i c h came from France, The Netherlands, Poland, Italy and Germany. They were all accommodated on site and the event w ent very smoothly. The afterrace party included a late license, BBQ, and one of the biggest nights the U n i o n has h a d on a Saturday. The Union, College Security, a n d the Conference and Catering Dept. were all very helpful in the organisation of one of the largest events put on by an I C U Club or Society. A n d that is not even going into the race itself! It seems that every year you c o m p l a i n about the lack of articles sent in, yet all I seem to hear around college from other clubs is disappointment that their articles are not published. M a y b e you should allocate page space a bit more conservatively rather than give half a side to mudbathing and countless pages allocated to reviews that everyone reads in other magazines. After all, it is a student newspaper, not Empire. Or the N M E . Or Time Out. Or Hot Tickets...
vital subjects such as the current w a r on "Terrorism", the environment, and corporate responsibility (that is, a s s u m i n g not everyone here dreams of b e c o m i n g one of the "Fat Cats", a very depressing thought.) The N U S (I'm quite sure) w a s represented at the M a y Day (peaceful) protest.
Yours sincerely, Demetrius Onoufriou, Chair of I C U X C Hyde Park Relays 2002 Committee I explained this last week in the sports section., and don't have space here to do so again., but I am sorry. Ed
run u n w a n t e d referendum c a m p a i g n s , w a t c h lecturer e v a l u a t i o n s y s t e m s to reach Enron-style levels of mismanagement and allow w o r k i n g relationships w i t h other union officers to reach meltdown, then yes, I agree that you need all the help you c a n get, from anybody, i n c l u d i n g the N a t i o n a l U n i o n . M a y b e instead of r u n n i n g the 'No' campaign, I should have headed up a 'Resign' campaign instead? Hugs'n'cuddles, A n d y Heeps Chairman, I C U " N o 2 N U S " C a m p a i g n (We w o n , by the way. 72% of the highest turnout ever seen at Imperial. D i d I mention that w e won?)
Dear Felix,
Have A Column Dear Felix, Spring is here. The old lunacy of winter has faded to be replaced b y fresh idiocy. H a v i n g returned to this dank pit of suffering, misery and science fiction from a relatively Star Trek-free frolic in the South East to enjoy the futility of attempting those psychoses-given-form k n o w n as examinations, I feel it is probably my duty to write and complain about something. Sadly however, I find myself in rather good spirits and w h i l e I w o u l d love to regale you w i t h hilarious stories of struggles between men and poultry, w a r m ale and A m e r i c a n tourists, I won't because I'm feeling sadistic and don't think you deserve any happiness. Ever. Once more London has me beset w i t h an extraordinary malevolence towards all things human, I am constantly strangled by the urge to throw biscuits at children, kick dogs and l a u g h l o u d l y at lost tourists. While my overbearing cloud of pure malice is still in its infantile stages I feel that something must be done to arrest its growth before severe damage is done. Not to me of course - I'm in little danger of harming myself, it's just w h e n people turn up w i t h flaming torches and stakes it's often difficult to reason w i t h them. Basically, w h a t I'm after is focus to my aggression and ill w i l l . You may be surprised to k n o w that this is in fact leading somewhere, just bear w i t h me. N o w you see, I am told, though not by impartial sources, that there are some pretty smart people here, people who could be profitably employed in a youthful, educated and vibrant criminal empire. ICrime or OCsoc, perhaps w o u l d be a good starting point, does the U n i o n have a policy on such things? Of course, w e ' d be self-funding after a w h i l e and the u n d e r g r o u n d i n t i m i d a t i o n of staff and pupils w o u l d be a formative experience for those still naive in the fields of bribery and racketeering ("Dean Corleone ain't happy..."). In fact I can't see one fault in the whole nefarious scheme. There you go ICU, do something right for once, make a little money, this idea's free. M e r r y Christmas, Pete
of t h e m actually n a m e d after the part of L o n d o n they're in, but hey, then people might actually be able to find them. I actually w e n t to C h a r i n g Cross, once. H o w s t u p i d d i d I feel?)
C X bar, because it rocks, and the b a r staff are nice (hi, ladieeees). Two, I'm not drinking, so for this w e e k you can rest safe i n the knowledge that I'm not there. A n d you don't have to be a medic! So if y o u live i n H a m m e r s m i t h , Anyhow, there's a b i g hosFulham, etc, go there instead pital i n H a m m e r s m i t h called of the expensive pub d o w n C h a r i n g Cross (CX), a n d it has the road. Because it's full of a lot of students in it, and they students, cheaper beer, and it used to have this bar, affectionately referred to as t h e makes more money for t h e Union as opposed to 'airport lounge', and it really Wetherspoons. w a s n ' t very nice. C e r t a i n l y people retained some sort of CX Bar is on St. Dunstan's m i s g u i d e d affection for t h e Road, Hammersmith. Head for place, but there w e are. the hospital, then follow the T h e n came a m a n c a l l e d drunk student noises.
Union Events
Weekend
Dolly Mixtures N a m e d after t h e infamous philosopher of the same moniker, the special theme this evening w i l l be epistemology. Nah, only joking. Drink!
Humph I don't ever k n o w what to put in this space. It's the w e e k e n d , and there are rarely a n y official events to talk about, and I'm getting bored of just talking complete tosh.
Eventide
Sea.
Student Activities
But, boys and girls, this is where it breaks d o w n . I've given u p drinking. C a n you imagine? I have given up for a week, starting from yesterday! A bar opening, and my first day of not drinking! I w a s not impressed. A n d to make it I w o k e up i n a strange place worse, the girls behind the yesterday, and w a s wanderbar were (for the most part) ing back i n the direction of friendly, but of this lack of College w h e n I r e c e i v e d a phone call reminding m e of d r i n k i n g they w e r e frankly disparaging (which is a good the opening of the C h a r i n g word). H o w am I meant to flirt Cross Bar. This may not actuif I'm not drinking beer, eh? ally mean m u c h to many of Tell me that. It is the source of you, since I have been made my power. Without it I a m aware of the fact that most nothing. Less t h a n nothing. I non-medics are u n d e r t h e need alcohol! impression that all the medics are i n the B M S . This isn't true. A n d this is only day two, of There are many other campusseven. Erk. es dotted round L o n d o n (none So, t w o points. One, go to
Friday
Union,
At The Movies
(who shall forever be spoken of i n hushed tones, but I met h i m once, oh yes I did), a n d he m a n a g e d to secure 1.5 million pounds to redo the place (cutting quite a long story short). 1.5 million! A n d this guy's only a student. I think that deserves a round of a p p l a u s e , b e c a u s e w i t h this c a s h they have refurb i s h e d the bar i n C X , and I have to say it w a s really quite pretty.
Television & Radio
Lome
.'• ii, • ' i's-- • M y feftyyrixfi. suicUsus particularly bad mood. KutHhty'ofOu. c"5i',,.. 'iffc . hi , y • ) i'tu .' the -diary .. gotfig •< • vhMjfti ItaVirio make do •< - o. !.....',_,( Sips-ice; here, because the bottom xmm . •.. si. i . i . "• iimnd. .-';,.-:.! subject. Hehehe Star Wars Is it yet? I don't know. I just like the feeling that you all might read this trying to see if it's all it's hyped up to be, and then be really cross w h e n I succeed in not talking...
Star Wars ...about it in any useful fashion at all. For all you know, I may have gone a n d seen a special n e w s p a p e r p r e v i e w at the Warner Bros C i n e m a in Leicester Square...
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Barry Manilow
Gigs & Concerts
I'm afraid I'm feeling a lot better this week. H o w d u l l is that? I'm u n l i k e l y to rant about anything to speak of, and w h a t makes it w o r s e is that I n o w have this entire column to fill, and frankly I don't really feel up to it. I may actually have to write a proper editorial, a n d d i s c u s s s e n s i b l y and w i t h forethought some item of n e w s that fills one of the earlier pages. I don't k n o w w h y this is. A p p a r e n t l y it's a tradition, or an old charter, or something. But anyway, m y o p i n i o n is o b v i o u s l y more important t h a n anyone else's, so I g e t a w h o l e p a g e to express m y unsubstantiated and ill-though out opinions.
Alien Ant Farm Surely, you must be say- I only k n o w these guys ing, this is a joke. But no, for their r e n d i t i o n of friends, it is not. He's Smooth Criminal, but it back, and he's bad, and h a d that breakdancmg probably bald. Go w i t h k i d in the video, w h i c h always made me laugh. your m u m . No really. Wembley
Positions Of Love
Editorial
This Week
this week
Arena
Astoria,
Saturday
H a v i n g hma siugfe i c r a The good sir mounts his w h i l e now. Fro begin- dear l a d y . •', irji.myt n i n g to g e t homy, • fashion .'is they face one s u c h , here are s o m e aiiotUer, . - lady upon ' >' ' y o try, if hei back, and the genyou've gol the time, i i i ' i , ' ' s'tahng k>vingly partnei;, or i • • y •. • <• • into her eyes t
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classic w e n c h costumes, Bassett, the b i g sweety
there are no events due you are b e i n g tested i n in your mouth. You k n o w and be t h r o w n around man, so y o u don't have to the a s s u m p t i o n that your spare time! Why? the drill. I'd i m a g i n e by massive knicker-elas- to have nightmares just tic powered catapults. yet. But one day... you'll drink something. you're a l l h u n g over Money, of course, after the w e e k e n d . I am. da Vinci's,
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cloning anyway?
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film reviews Jason Schwartzman interview with a Slacker H o w w a s the experience of s h a v i n g a large A i n y o u r chest hair? It w a s fine! A couple of times the razor got snagged and w a s like ouch! It w a s just an idea I had. I w a s t h i n k i n g to myself one night, okay at this point in the movie you k n o w I'm crazy, because I think the w a y the character evolves in the first half you aren't sure.
SLACKERS you won't find any here, ahem Slackers is yet a n o t h e r a d d i t i o n to the already s w o l l e n r a n k s of the t e e n c o m e d y genre. Despite my initial reservations about the film, I w a s cheered by the presence of J a s o n Schwartzman i n the cast list. H is performance as M a x Fischer in the indie hit Rushmore (1998) w a s fantastic, so I w a s eager to see what he h a d followed it up w i t h . A s it turns out, I w o u l d have been better off w a t c h i n g Rushmore again. Slackers finds S c h w a r t z m a n playing "Cool" Ethan, the socially inept nerd w h o is in the process of stalking the angelic A n g e l a (James King). H is creepy task is eased upon discovering the cheating antics of our three eponymous slackers. He proceeds to b l a c k m a i l Dave (Devon Sawa) and his stooges, demanding to be fixed up w i t h A n g e l a , or else he w i l l have them expelled. But as is always the w a y in these things, the charming Dave himself ends up the object of Angela's affections. A n d so it goes on. The opening scene of the film, where w e are inducted into s c a m m i n g w o r l d of the boys, is a well-handled juggling act, but after that it falters. There are straight-to-camera monologues, bizarre dream sequences and all manner of v i s u a l tricks, but none of these distract from the essentially lazy, teen-comedyby-numbers on s h o w here. A s for gross-out, American
Pie h a d its w a r m apple pie scene,
Road Trip its Jack Sprat sex scene, so Slackers has to have its hook too. We are actually treated to two, first a karaoke penis sock-puppet scene, and t h e n an old w o m a n hooker sponge-bath scene. But t w o sick wrongs don't make a funny right. That is not to say I didn't l augh at all. I d i d . But the good gags are h i d d e n away amongst a lengthy array of tiresome fart, dick and jerk-off jokes. E v e n Road Trip seems reserved compared to most of this. Schwarzman's efforts are hardly subtle, and despite having been given the majority of the funny material, he never makes Ethan into anything more t h a n a 2-d caricature. It w o u l d have been nice to see the makers have the courage to produce something slightly blacker and more original about the obsessive stalking thread involving Ethan, but they ultimately shy a w a y into more familiar teen rom-com territory.
too
Adam Joyce
H o w do y o u v i e w Slackers? I think it's a good funny college movie that's a little dirty and w i l l get reactions out of people. It'll make you laugh. I think a lot of the humour is a little dark, but I try not to put too m u c h thought into it. I just think you should just go and enjoy it and have a good time. It is pretty nuts. I mean, if you're going to see this movie then you probably like beer so just have a good time. H o w d i d y o u get the role for Slackers? I had met the director, Dewey, and I remember h i m talking about his making a movie. I met w i t h h i m for about an hour and then I asked h i m 'should I come back and audition?' and he said 'you just did.' A n d I got the part. But the reason I ultimately d i d the movie w a s I thought here's an opportunity to flex a different muscle and do for once in my life a b i g slapstick type of comedy. I thought the character w a s a good environment to experiment w i t h being physical for me and p l a y i n g dark. So y o u didn't do it for the m o n e y ? Do y o u w a n t to p l u g y o u r C D for a f ew m i n u t e s ? M y b a n d is Phantom Planet, w e have an E P the album is already out. It's called The Guest. If y o u h a d to choose b e t w e e n b e i n g a m u s i c i a n or a n actor w h i c h w o u l d y o u become? I w o u l d become a painter. W h a t does y o u r father do? M y dad actually p a s s e d away. I w a s thirteen. I'm sorry.
F e l i x O n F i l m Slackers Competition Ar e you a Slacker? More likely you're an uber-geek. In any case, this is your chance to WIN!!! official Slackers merchandise. O n offer, three goody bags containing Slackers T-shirt, sponge, and soap. In the correct order: W h i c h one of these w o u l d you expect Retardcop, Sgt. J o h n Bunnell, to say? a) "Clearly excessive police force used here" b) "Another case of police brutality and negligence" c) "He's bought himself a one-way ticket... straight to J A I L " email your answers to film.felix@ic.ac.uk The w i nner of last term's Mothman Prophecies competition w a s Ee Wong, w h o gave the correct answer to the question.
reviews music INTERVIEW with Rod Jones from Idlewild Idlewild's n e w single You Held The World In Your Arms is out now, and the a l b u m The Remote Part is due for release i n July. Felix spoke to guitarist Rod Jones over the telephone. F E L I X : X F M ' s D J N a t a s h a w a s so e n a m o u r e d w i t h y o u r last single Roseability t h a t s h e s t a r t e d to compare a l l other songs to it a n d g i v e t h e m a " R o s e a b i l i t y r a t i n g " . H a d y o u h e a r d about this, a n d h o w w o u l d y o u rate y o u r n e w single? ROD: No, I hadn't heard about that. It w o u l d be difficult to try and rate You Held The World In Your Arms along those lines, as it's quite a different song. We felt at the time of its release that Roseability w a s one of the best things w e ' d written, but w e feel that w h a t we're w r i t i n g n o w is better. A s y o u m e n t i o n e d , You Held The World In Your Arms is quite different t o y o u r p r e v i o u s songs - is t h i s a n i n d i c a t i o n of w h a t the n e w a l b u m w i l l be l i k e ? Yes, it is. W i t h previous albums, w e felt that most of the tracks were more or less just noisy pop songs. So w e decided to experiment a bit, and that helped us learn w h a t w e were capable of. You t o u r e d A m e r i c a to p r o m o t e 100 Broken Windows. D i d y o u enjoy y o u r t i m e o u t there, a n d w h a t w a s t h e response l i k e f r o m the A m e r i c a n audiences? It w a s great fun a n d very exciting, but quite w e i r d because the album w a s released about a year later than it w a s here. So w e didn't k n o w w h a t to expect, and w h e n w e w ent out there and did the small club tour w e found that w e h a d a small loyal foll o w i n g w h o h a d got hold of the album on import. It w a s a very refreshing experience. We p l a n to release the n e w album at the same time i n A m e r i c a , because w e w a n t to continue improving as a b a n d a n d to have staggered releases means that you're always going back to things you were doing a year earlier, and that can s l o w your progress. W h e n y o u first s t a r t e d to b r e a k t h r o u g h i n t o the B r i t i s h market, y o u g a i n e d a r e p u t a t i o n for b e i n g v e r y good live. W h a t d i d y o u feel w e r e t h e reasons for that? We gained a reputation for g i g g i n g quite a lot, and I suppose all the practice w e got helped to make each show better t h a n the last. A l s o , w e felt that the songs on the record weren't as strong as they were live because they were basically noisy rock. W i t h the n e w album, the reverse is true, in that the songs have a lot of subtlety to t h e m w h i c h is difficult to recreate live. So w e have had to really reinvent ourselves as a live act. W h a t i s y o u r t a k e o n t h e c h a r t s at t h e m o m e n t , a n d h o w do y o u t h i n k y o u r n e w single w i l l do? We don't really pay m u c h attention to the charts at the moment, even though maybe w e should. But w e k n o w there's a lot around that isn't great. I do feel that people get a bit nostalgic about the charts i n previous eras, but I'm sure that there w a s just as m u c h crap around i n 1979 or whenever as there is now. We just w a n t to play the music and try and let that do the talking. We are h o p i n g that the strength of the n e w songs w i l l get people to listen.
Tank
Singles Roundup H U N D R E D R E A S O N S (pic above) - S i l v e r Yeah, baby, the Rock Sound-appointed saviours of British rock are back. Sounding like a horrible mix of Blink 182 and Incubus gone wrong, this single disappoints severely after the excellent If I Could, w i t h its formulaic lyrics a n d s e a shanty rhythm. Awful. Sajini THE E L E C T R I C SOFT P A R A D E E m p t y A t T h e E n d / This G i v e n L i n e The Electric Soft Parade are a bit like Travis, but a lot happier. They use similar subjects for their songs, but t e n d to be more upbeat. They are fairly formulaic, w h i l s t somehow managing to avoid sounding repetitive. This is the second single from their critically acclaimed debut album Holes In The Wall, a n d it shows a lot of promise.
Tank S E R A F I N - Serafin E P 1 Bog standard emo, this one. It sometimes sounds a little grungy, like Stone Temple Pilots. Other times, a little Hundred Reasons. Serafin are probably going to be pretty big, but h a d they been around t w o years ago, they wouldn't even have got a record deal. So it goes.
Ben M U L E S K I N N E R J O N E S - Terrible Stories Muleskmner Jones is a cult internet eccentric, apparently, and I've no idea W H A T is going on here! Over duelling banjos, an argument as to the origin of a bloodstain is played out by the parents from Little House On The Prairie i n really off-key voices. Is this what unemployable actors get up to w h e n they're not on shift i n Starbucks?
Ben
coffee break
Crossword by Dr. Hot Fudge 2.
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26.
25.
27.
10. Pros sit at odd barbecue. (4-5) II. A w a y from blokes, the tea is flat. (9) 12. R i n g a m a n w h o ' s wooden. (5)
16.
23.
28.
Well fudge-packers, it's the moment you've all been w a i t i n g for... The w i n n e r of the PlayStation 2 is... C h r i s T i c k n e r . Congratulations good buddy, yours w a s the first correct grid to be d r a w n out of the tombola - in case you're w o n d e r i n g the sheet w a s from issue 1214, the very first issue to feature G F Q Q ! . That, however, is besides the point. What really matters is that you c a n come and collect the prize next Tuesday in the Felix office as part of an exquisite prize giving ceremony featuring myself a n d the good trouser snake (B.C.). I'll hopefully be giving a w a y a similar prize next year, but I might change the rules a little a final play-off featuring nude peanut-butter w r e s t l i n g springs directly to mind. It's been a long year folks, and although it sometimes get lonely back at the old ranch, w i t h just an open spit-roast to keep me w a r m , your crossword entries have always kept my spirits up, if not my pecker. Cyclops and I are going to s p e n d the summer in an open-top Cadillac on a pilgrimage from the Fudge Ranch to Gracelands, scouring the Bible Belt for young, silky-skinned recruits. So until next time friends, I shall make like a hyphen... and dash. Dr. Hot Fudge.
CD 4-5
Dashed to church from the farm. (5)
Down 1. Ray dims out tens of thousands. (7) C a n n i b a l s that are sexually promiscuous? (3-6)
13. C a n d y made from split gamble, w e hear. (7) 15. To slag-off and swear in conversation. (7) 17. Rhode Island d o w n h i l l competitor is more dangerous. (7) 19. Close for tea i n the French spacecraft. (7) 21. H e l p e d a s s i s t a n t for five hundred. (5) 23. A trio and a couple were
all they
could
take? (3-5) 25. G r i m oaths were taken from graph. (9) 26. Occurs regularly in loft entrance. (5) 27. N o r t h e a s t e r n e r has dire ego! (7) 28. Not s h a r p e n e d , not flattened, just relaxed. (7)
6. 7.
C y m b a l greets headgear. (2-3) A c c u s e d m e m b e r of religious group s w a l l o w s us softly. (7) Corrupted reserves in E d w a r d . (7) Slow key? (5) Follow case i n athletic gear. (9)
B a d satire includes no eyeballs. (7) crease 14. Screen w i t h blocks vision. (9) 16. Seaside t o w n can be seen from t w o directions. (9) 17. A reckless driver travelled on a pig, w e hear. (4, 3) 18. Invigilator reference extras. (7)
c a n make to two
19. K i n g goes alone at the start of the week. (7) 20. E a s t e r n lantern loses bottom and goes off forever. (7) 22. Dance at lady's company. (5) 24. Speak of topless drain. (5)
A n s w e r s to the last one I wrote? - too long ago, can't be buggered.
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THE
OF G F Q Q 2002 IS...
WINNER
by B o b b y C y c l o p s & Dr. H o t F u d g e If your name is Simon North, t h e n w e are about t o relieve your e x a m stress by announc- Number of players: 61 i n g that y o u are the w i n n e r of G F Q Q 2002!! You w i n a b r a n d n e w Sony (we think) D V D The Leader Board - high(and low)lights player, w o r t h £300 - it looks like the dog's bollocks so get salivating buddy !
Name
It w a s a close r u n t h i n g , but Mr. N o r t h w a s ahead from the start a n d he w a s always g o i n g
Simon North
to be difficult to catch. A b i g thank-you to all the players for entering, especially A n t h o n y
A n t h o n y Rodrigues
Rodrigues w h o battled gallantly right t o the very death, a n d kept us amused w i t h w i t t y
Christopher Dent
Score 185 181 174.5
innuendo a n d tales of sexual endeavour (occasionally of the b e s t i a l nature).
Chris Ince
174
A l l i n a l l it's b e e n a n emotional ride: the d i z z y i n g highs, the canyon scraping lows, scour-
John Anderson
168
i n g our video collections for w o r t h w h i l e quotations, c o m i n g u p w i t h n e w a n d controver-
Daniel Sauder
sial bonus questions, a n d for w h a t ? So S i m o n N o r t h gets his grubb y mittens o n a top of
M i c h a e l Simonds
149 143.5
the range D V D player, crafted lovingly b y one of the w o r l d s l e a d i n g technological m a n u -
Fred M a r q u i s
125
facturers? To w h i l e a w a y a d i s t u r b i n g percentage of our chocolate a n d confectionery scoff-
A n d r e w Ince
113.5
i n g lives i n the Felix office, deep i n the festering b o w e l s of the Beit Q uad? W e think so. A n d yet, somehow i t seems w o r t h it. Despite the endless questions from irate players: " w h y aren't m y points o n the leader-board?"; despite the continual analysis of Star Wars bonus questions, a d absurdum; a n d b e i n g constantly p i c k e d u p b y you, our adoring p u b lic, w h e n w e m i s s p e l l e d a quote or put a c o m m a i n the w r o n g , place. It w a s w o r t h it, a n d w e ' v e loved every minute. W h a t n e w d r a m a w i l l the future bring? W i l l S i m o n N o r t h b e able to retain his title? W i l l A n t h o n y Rodrigues conquer his demons a n d return triumphant? W i l l some little scrote of a first year take all the glory? That's the END of GFQQ for this year, but we'll be back
M a r k French Bobby Cyclops & Dr Hot Fudge.
4
(In the words of Nelson Muntz - ha-ha!)
A n s w e r s to the final G F Q Q :
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3. M a r t i n Short/Ned Nederlander - The Three A m i g o s * * * * * Hasted by * * * * *
AWARD
CHRI5 HDDI50I1
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"He excels in comemc intelligence" Tne Guardian
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1. A r s e n i o Hall/Semmi - C o m i n g to A m e r i c a 2. D o n a l d O'Brien/Dr. Obrero - Zombie Holocaust 4. D a n Akroyd/Roman C r a i g - The Great Outdoors 5. Silver Tongued D e v i l - Smokey a n d the Bandit 6. L o ui s Gosset Jr./Sgt. E m i l Foley - A n Officer a n d a G e n t l e m a n 7. W i l d Disco Sex M a c h i n e - The Erotic W i t c h Project 8. M e l Brooks/William J . Lepetomane) - B l a z i n g Saddles 9. R a n d y Quaid/Eddie - N a t i o n a l Lampoons Vegas Vacation 10. L l o y d Bridges/Admiral B e n s o n - Hot Shots 1 I.Ernie Sabella/Pumbaa T. Warthog - The L i o n K i n g 12. Patrick Swayze/Johnny C a s t l e - Dirty D a n c i n g 13. Robert H e l p m a n n / C h i l d Catcher - C h i t t y C h i t t y B a n g B a n g 14. D a v i d Tomlinson/George Banks - M a r y Poppins 15. B i l l Murray/Phil Connors - G r o u n d h o g Day 16. A n d i e MacDowall/Carrie - Four Weddings a n d a Funeral 17. C h r i s t i a n Bale/Jim - E m p i r e of the Sun 18. K e v i n Bacon/Valentine M c K e e - Tremors
Thursday 16th May
19. Jeff Goldblum/Ian M a l c o l m - Jurassic Park
IMPERIAL C O L L E G E UNION Bust-A-Gut, dB's Club Bar
Bonus 1. Orson Welles Bonus 2. M a t t h e w M o d i n e
Box Office: 020 7594 8060 • Doors: 8pm • Start: 9pm • Tickets: £4
.
Bonus 3. Eric Stoltz
The Winner of The Daily Telegraph Open Mic Award receives ...AND a live booking on The Comedy Network
...an appearance at The Montreal & Melbourne Comedy Festivals...
Bonus 4. J u d g e ' s d e c i s i o n -1 should w i n the q u i z because:-
THE
"Just follow your Basic Instinct -1 am A New Hope for the icy ladies:
C ONETWORK*" MEDY
a man with A Beautiful Mind and a Goldfinger." THE GRAND FINAL WILL BE TAKING PLACE AT THIS YEAR'S EDINBURGH FESTIVAL • 20th AUGUST 2002 w
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Hyde Park Relays This was originally sent many moons ago, and I'm sorry that it is only going in now. I know that it's not really better late than never at this stage, but here it is anyway... -Ed
s a m p l e d immediately. South Kensington isn't unfortunately quite the 24hr place that some h a d hoped for, but they found Trafalgar Square a n d enjoyed themselves.
Europe's largest student relay races are the H y d e Park Relays, w h i c h are organised b y Imperial's cross country club. Every year sees n e w friends coming to take part for the first time, as w e l l as t h e return of the regulars. The 54th Relays took place o n Saturday 16th February. D u e to t h e renowned quality of the race, the first guests a r r i v e d o n Wednesday, and like last year these were the Polish teams. A g a i n w e challenged t h e m to a game of darts but unfortunately due to the comprehensive manner of our defeat last year, they merely laughed at our challenge. The Polish found themselves i n our most luxurious accommodation, (also k n o w n as Southside), w h i c h they thoroughly enjoyed as it is n o w part of their prerace ritual. There were signs that they w e r e starting to take the race seriously as w e l l as not only were they seen traini n g just after their arrival, but they h a d also brought over a runner i n last years W o r l d Athletics Championships (he ran 400m i n 45.6). O n Thursday it w a s time for the arrival of the D u t c h a n d Italian teams. W e h a d b e e n w a r n e d i n advance that the Dutch would be bringing a large team, but were delighted w h e n w e discovered that this number w a s 170. The D u t c h also brought over their game of hopsy-flopsy, b u t after t h e activities of last year it h a d to be b a n n e d d u e its dangerous content. A r r i v i n g at midnight they were raring to go a n d m a n y of t h e m d e c i d e d that London's night life should be
Friday s t a r t e d w i t h t h e almighty baggage storage event (rumours suggest that Roly a n d M i k e are b e i n g headhunted b y BA), as a l l of the bags h a d to b e m o v e d into storage for the day. This could have b e e n a major problem but it all w ent fine and so w e could relax. Friday night w a s Valentine's night at the union, a n d t h e place w a s p a c k e d . Current IC students tended to find that, 'I don't recognise anyone here', as lot of our guests d e c i d e d to join t h e party, however this meant that there w e r e females i n t h e union. A l s o on Friday w e s a w the arrival of the G e r m a n and Spanish teams, but to our huge disappointment the girls from Stirling didn't make it. W e also s a w that the Irish didn't make the trip across, t h o u g h this could b e d u e to their sexual exploits being broken u p last year. O n t h e day of the race, our guests found themselves b e i n g w o k e n u p at 7am again (unfair advantage?!), as our Leader (aka Demetrious) decided that things still neede d to b e done before t h e race could begin. After breakfast (who h a d some?) w e split u p a n d started to organise things. The course needed to b e setu p a n d this s a w t h e return of Westminster's c a p t a i n M i k e Boucher. A slight p r o b l e m arose as it w a s discovered that the m a p s h o w i n g the course w a s inaccurate, b u t former London marathon winner H u g h Jone s a p p e a r e d a n d b e i n g our saviour, m a n a g e d to re-measure the course before it w a s too late, enabling accu-
rate results. W h i l s t some members were b u s y w i t h this, others were registering the teams, distribu t i n g numbers a n d selling tshirts. Soon the first aiders b e g a n to arrive, w i t h the marshal's and timekeepers appearing at t h e bandstand, so w e k n e w the race w o u l d soon begin. The official starter of the race w a s the legendary coach Frank H o r w i l l . After he w a s found (drinking i n t h e union) w e moved h i m over to the start and t h e race began. The m e n were rurining six legs of 5150m, whilst the w o m e n were doing 3 legs of 3350m. A good field h a d entered both races w i t h the notable exception of Loughborough. However after challenging us to a drinking race at B U S A , 2 weeks earlier, w e didn't think that they w o u l d s h o w their faces. To ensure that the leaders of the races didn't get lost on the glorious day w e employed the use of t w o cyclists Roly, a n d Geordie B o y w h o c y c l e d i n front of the front runners so that they k n e w where they were going. IC got off to a fantastic start w i t h Francois runn i n g w h a t ultimately proved to be the sixth fastest time of the day. After this w e found that i n the men's teams there w a s a split b e t w e e n those r a c i n g and those w h o w a n t e d to enjoy the experience for as long as possible. Imperial's A t e a m i n the men's race finished 5 t h from the student teams out of over 70 finishers. W h a t made the day even better w a s t h e fact that our A , B a n d C teams fini s h e d 1st, 2nd and 3rd out of every student t e a m from the U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n that entered. Our w o m e n keen to take some glory for t h e m selves, a n d also performed w i t h distinction b e i n g the first
college from the University of L o n d o n to finish. Fol l ow i ng t h e r u n w a s t h e tea a n d presentation ceremony. D a n once again excelled himself a n d along w i t h help from other members of the club m a n a g e d to give a w a y (eat?) all of the food a n d drink. T h e w i n n e r s of the prizes i n c l u d e d the Outdoor A c t i v i t i e s c l u b , w h o defended their title of best internal t e a m convincingly a n d also t h e teams from Bativieren w h o collected 2 w o o d e n spoons. The after race p a r t y w a s held i n t h e union a g a i n this year, but w i t h the presence of a barbecue outside from 10. The D J this year w a s our very o w n M i k e W i l c o x (can take bookings for w e d d i n g s , barmitzvahs, wakes...) who excelled everyone's expectations b y actually p l a y i n g good m u s i c i n Db's (a first?). Unfortunately t h o u g h , t h e d r i n k i n g g a m e s didn't g o entirely to plan, as the organisation fell apart (rigging t h e d r a w to face the eventual w i n ners i n the first round) a n d so w e w e r e unable to defend our title, though a special thanks needs to go out to J o h n w h o saved t h e day b y joining t h e t e a m at the last minute (where w a s Grant?). The night ended w i t h Daisy Boy t a k i n g a special interest i n a Polish girl ("I've gi ven m y sleeping b a g away, w h a t can I do now?"). Sunday b e g a n w i t h dreary h e a d s r i s i n g as our guests b e g a n to leave, a n d w e could contemplate returning to our beds. W e w o u l d like to thank everyone for a l l their help i n the event, and hope that next years' event c a n rise to the t o u g h challenge of b e i n g as good as this one. PS If anyone has any good ideas of w h a t to do w i t h 200 tshirts please get i n touch!
club active
U.S. Cycle Challenge This summer I, Tom Scorer, a m cycling across A m e r i c a from Seattle t o Boston, travelling t h r o u g h s i x t e e n states a n d t w o countries. T h e journey w i l l take me over the Rockies, the planes of C e n t r a l A m e r i c a , Pennsylvania and N e w Hampshire. I w i l l encounter many types of terrain a n d conditions, from the peaks i n the Rockies to the planes a n d heat of South Dakota. I w i l l also be raising money for W h i z z K i d z During the challenge I w i l l be entirely self-reliant a n d w i l l carry a l l I need to live for that time, except for food a n d water! I w i l l b e t a k i n g a l l c a m p i n g equipment, clothing, tools etc w i t h me a n d p u l l i n g it b e h i n d m e i n a specially designed trailer. It has b e e n a life long a m b i tion to do this trip. I have b e e n
training hard for the last 2 years to b u i l d u p the core fitness I w i l l need to complete the distance of 4,500 miles i n less t h a n 70 days, an average of 70+ miles per day. M y primary a i m is to complete the c y c l i n g challenge but I felt that it w a s also a great oportunity to raise awareness, and money for W h i z z Kidz. W h i z z K i d z is a national children's charity w i t h a very simple goal - to give d i s a b l e d children independent mobility. By providing specialised mobility equipment, W h i z z Kidz improves the quality of life of d i s a b l e d children across the U K a n d literally lets children be children.
We h a v e o r g a n i s e d some really good deals at some of the pubs along on b o t h Drink (both Soft a n d NOT) a n d Food.
i n g the 70 day period. The days have been planned taki n g into account b o t h the terrain and conditions I a m likely to experience so are likely to change! I aim to leave i n early July and return i n the early part of September.
The Route in Brief: The P u b c r a w l is g o i n g to be going from H a m m e r s m i t h to South Kensi ngton on the tube, then onto Paddington where w e have loads of deals w i t h different bars i n the area. Next from Edgeware Road to Embankment then back to C h a r i n g cross where there is a cocktail theme night waiting...
I am going to be h a v i n g a number of fundraising events for W h i z z K i d z i n the next few w e e k s t h e 1st b e i n g t h i s Wednesday 15th May, There w i l l b e a B e r m u d a Triangle P u b C r a w l starting from the N e w C h a r i n g Cross Bar starti n g from 11am. (Nearest tube Hammersmith)
Anybody is welcome to come a n d help raise money: you don't have to drink; w e w i l l need sober minders.
Those that w a n t t o come a n d h e l p raise money a n d have a n awesome time c a n The route has been p l a n n e d pick u p collecting tins, p u b for 64 r i d i n g days (at a 70 c r a w l g u i d e a n d c o l l e c t i n g miles/day average) w h i c h licences from the bar a n d g o a n d have fun! gives me 6 full rest days dur-
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A n y b o d y that has any questions should contact Tom on 07790037627 or thomas.scorer@ic.ac.uk Tom Scorer
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Help to make a difference in the fight against heart disease A get some fresh air too Hampstead Heath, starting btwn 9:30 and
14:00
Sponsor forms & more info: 020 73706319 / 07967 739394 Ed Millar-Craig - edward.millor-craiq@ic.Qc.uk or Nick Gazard - nicholas.qazard@ic.ac.uk Registered Charity No. 255971
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