Vol. 2 issue 19 by The Runner

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VOL. 2 ISSUE 19 | MARCH 30 2010 NEWS AND CULTURE FOR THE STUDENTS OF KWANTLEN POLYTECHNIC UNIVERSITY

NEWS & POLITICS

page two | March 30 2010 | vol. 2 issue 19

CANADIAN UNIVERSITY PRESS

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

AROUND KWANTLEN

Controversial speaker recieves ‘Coult’ shoulder Students hold back Ann Coulter from speaking at the University of Ottawa [LEN SMIRNOV] [THE FULCRUM]

OTTAWA (CUP) — Chaos erupted on the night of March 23 as hundreds of protesters clashed with police to prevent Ann Coulter, the radically conservative U.S. pundit, from speaking on the University of Ottawa campus. The dozens of spectators who had been admitted into the school’s Marion Hall auditorium and were waiting for Coulter to appear were eventually told that it was “physically dangerous” to proceed with the event and were evacuated from the building. “It is an embarrassing day for the University of Ottawa and their student body that couldn’t debate Ann Coulter and chose to silence her,” said Ezra Levant, a Canadian conservative activist who was to introduce Coulter at the event. “Never in my whole life (have) I thought I would have to tell people how to get out of a university safely.” The speaking event was part of Coulter’s three-city Canadian tour, organized by the International Free Press Society and the Claire Boothe Luce Policy Institute. Coulter was scheduled to speak on political correctness, media bias, and freedom of speech. She is perhaps best known for making controversial comments that have included, shortly after 9-11, calling for Islamic countries to be invaded and all Muslims to be converted to Christianity. Students and local residents began lining up in front of Marion Hall several hours before the event. Shortly before the scheduled speaking time, though, the building’s fire alarm was pulled and the speech was delayed. After groups of people began to chant lines such as “No more hate speech on our campus” and “Coulter go home,” and

COURTESY OF GAGE SKIDMORE

crowded the doors to the building, Levant announced to those present in the auditorium that the event was cancelled, citing security concerns. “We support a positive space on campus. We don’t tolerate hate speech,” said social sciences student Taiva Tegler, one of the organizers of the protest. “I think it is very disgraceful that there are so many people here that support a woman who has made very homophobic, racist (and) sexist comments,” said graduate student Samantha Ponting, one of the protesters who gained entry to the event. Coulter’s supporters were upset with the cancellation of the event. Ottawa resident Bob Ward has followed Coulter’s work — which has included several New York Times bestsellers and numerous television appearances — for five years and registered for her speech weeks in advance. “I think the University of Ottawa really should be quite embarrassed by what’s happened here tonight,” he said, suggesting that the university should apologize to Coulter and invite her back to campus.

Last week, SFUO president Seamus Wolfe wrote an email to University of Ottawa president Allan Rock, asking him to ban Ann Coulter from speaking at the school after the event was moved from the Carleton University campus, where it was originally scheduled to take place. “Students from across this campus got together to express their outrage that such hate would have been allowed on campus,” Wolfe said in an interview outside of Marion Hall after the cancellation. The SFUO executive took an official stance against Coulter and refused to allow the the event to be advertised in the school’s student centre. Francois Houle, the University of Ottawa’s provost, sent a letter to Coulter on March 19 in which he warned her of Canadian hate speech laws and encouraged her to “educate (her) self, if need be, as to what is acceptable in Canada.” Houle also noted that “promoting hatred against any identifiable group would not only be considered inappropriate, but could in fact lead to criminal charges.” The letter was leaked to the National Post and Newsmax. com, a conservative news site in the United States. Coulter responded to the administrator’s comments in an email to the Ottawa Citizen on March 22. “I see that (Houle) is guilty of promoting hatred against an identifiable group: conservatives,” she wrote. “Not only does this promote hatred against conservatives, but it promotes violence against conservatives.” Coulter drew criticism a day earlier at a speaking event in the University of Western Ontario where she told one Muslim student to “take a camel” if he didn’t have a magic carpet, a reference to an past comment she has made. Coulter is scheduled to speak at the University of Calgary on March 25.

WHAT’S HAPPENING AT KWANTLEN

MAR

30 2010

Music Department Open House WHERE: Langley Campus - Room 1305 WHEN: 6:00pm WHAT: Come out and learn about admission requirements, the audition process, typical courses of study, performing opportunities, potential careers, and tour Kwantlen’s music facilities.

MAR

2010

Workshop: Learning Lab WHERE: Surrey - Cedar Building: Learning Lab WHEN: 12:00pm - 2:00pm WHAT: Want to discover your learning style; develop study skills and exam preparation techniques? The come out to Kwantlen’s Learning Lab workshop.

MAR

2010

‘Music at Midweek’ at Surrey Campus WHERE: Surrey Main- Atrium WHEN: 12:00pm- 12:45pm WHAT: A free concert during your lunch break. Could it get any better? Listen to Kwantlen’s Vocal Ensemble, directed by Gail Suderman

CUP COMIC

MAR

Sushi Wednesday @ GrassRoots

WHERE: Surrey Campus - Grassroots cafe

2010

WHEN: 9:00am - 4:30pm WHAT: The KSA’s Grassroots Cafe is having another Sushi day. California Rolls for five dollars. Could life get any better?

MAR

2010

Music @ Midweek WHERE: Langley Campus - Auditorium WHEN: 12:15pm WHAT: Spend an afternoon listening to Kwantlen’s talented piano ensemble.

SHANE SCOTT-TRAVIS// NEXUS

NEWS & POLITICS

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

vol. 2 issue 19 | March 30 2010 | page three

POLITICS AND FOOD

BABIES

A evening of pizza with Nixon

No fundings for birth control

Kwantlen’s Political Science Society recently put on its second successful event which aimed to increase the political dialogue among Kwantlen students.

This is Matt, the Runner’s political columnist. Matt thinks that political agenda’s should take a back seat to women and children’s rights.

[CHRIS YEE] [STUDENT AFFAIRS BUREAU CHIEF]

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION // CHRISTOPHER POON

MONEY

Nothing to do with baking, Smart Cookies help women gain control of their money

[ABBY WISEMAN] [ENVIRONMENTAL BUREAU CHIEF]

It’s been long agreed upon that women are the gatherers of the sexes. We like things, we like to have things and sometimes we can convince ourselves that we need things we can’t really afford. Sound familiar? Well if you’re making a mess of your finances, you are not alone, and here to help you is the Smart Cookies. They are five savvy young women who gained control over their money together, and then wrote two books, appeared on Oprah and had their own W Network show. Some of the girls live in Vancouver and recently made

an appearance on CBC’s Book Club and shared their story of how they went from in the red to in the black. The Cookies are instantly likeable and definitely identifiable, sharing their stories of financial frivolity. Avoiding looking at bank accounts, racking up credit card bills and going to parents for extra money are just some of the things that they have owned up to. Heck, they even laugh about it now. In reality, being thousands of dollars in debt is not a laughing matter and it’s the kind of thing that will weigh on your mind in the middle of the night. The Cookies have solid tips on how to manage your money, but the first thing is to admit that you are spending too much. It might not seem super hot to wear an old outfit to the club, or use coupons or box dye, but what isn’t sexier than a powerful woman who has control over her life? The Smart Cookies broadcast is April 3 and 10 from 8 a.m to 9 a.m. Check out the books: •The Smart Cookies’ Guide to Making More Dough •The Smart Cookies’ Guide to Couples and Money

Also you can sign up at their website to get daily money tips. www.smartcookies.com

The Kwantlen Political Science Society (KPSS) put on the Pizza and Nixon event on March 18th, showing the film Frost/ Nixon, a dramatization of the Frost/Nixon interviews of 1977, and hosting a discussion period on “Nixon, Watergate and the Vietnam war,” said the President of the KPSS, Patrick Brower and of course, serving pizza. Twenty people showed up for the event, which was the second to be hosted by the KPSS since starting in January 2009 to further “political dialogue in the Kwantlen community,” as Brower mentions. In May 2009, the KPSS held a debate on electoral reform and the STV system, then a referendum issue in the 2009 provincial election. Also, the KPSS has put out

IN BRIEF

its first issue of the Kwantlen Journal of Political Science this semester. The Kwantlen Journal of Political Science is the first undergraduate journal published at Kwantlen. As for the future, the KPSS hopes to continue publishing the Journal of Political Science, and work on the next issue is beginning. It also hopes to hold a pub night after final exams in April.

Interested in examining the rising cost of tuition? Facinated by the KSA? Entralled by Senate Policies on degree requirements? Or just want to write a good-old-fashion news story? E-mail The Runner at news@runnerrag.ca

[NATSUMI OYE] [CURRENT EVENTS BUREAU CHIEF]

Danger on B.C.’s slopes

Peacock on the lam

Careful on the slopes. B.C.’s third major avalanche within a week has claimed the lives of two French skiers, according to cbc.ca. The avalanche happened at Wells Gray Provincial Park, and buried three skiers, but one was pulled out from under the snow. The slide was ranked as being a class 3 to 3.5, meaning that it would have been able to “bury and destroy a car,” the report said.

An Alberta man is facing a fine for keeping a peacock in the city, reported canoe.ca. The bird escaped last week, jumping across rooftops, escaping firefighters and the neighbourhood residents who tried to catch it. The owner’s excuse for keeping the bird is that it is therapeutic with its colourful wings, according to the report. The Valley Zoo will likely get the peacock if it is ever caught, a city peace officer told canoe.ca.

National healthcare comes to Americans at a cost of almost a trillion dollars Americans finally have the health care system that they have always been jealous of Canadians for having. President Barack Obama signed the new health care bill early last week, which will see that 32 million Americans who are currently uninsured will have health care, reported the Globe and Mail. This is “a historic $938- billion health care overhaul,” the report said. While the Democrats are celebrating, Republicans are still opposed to the new law, claiming that it is too costly.

FREE FOOD FREE DRINKS FREE MEETING

Every Friday at 2:00 pm Runner Office: #205 - 12877 76 Ave. Surrey, B.C. Discuss the upcoming issue & other important decisions

[MATT LAW] [HEALTH BUREAU CHIEF ]

A woman’s right to choose is not something the conservative government should have the right to decide. Earlier this year Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced that Canada will be spearheading a global project to improve maternal and child health in developing countries. Questions were soon asked by politicians about whether this plan would include birth control and abortion support. Tabatha Southey wrote in a Globe and Mail op-ed article “Michael Ignatieff was criticized for ‘politicizing’ the government’s program by asking whether it would include funding for ‘reproductive health services,’ but I applaud him for taking an unequivocal position here.” Regardless of whether it is politically opportunistic to ask such questions, these questions must be asked and acted on based on scientific information. Not acted on to appease an outdated right wing voter base. In typical politician form those questions have been answered with vague statements that couldn’t inform a goat let alone Canadian voters. In another Globe and Mail article appearing online, journalist Campbell Clark wrote, “The International Planned Parenthood Federation used to receive funding from the Canadian International Development Agency, but its nine-month-old request for a renewal of its $6-million-a-year grant has so far gone unanswered and funding stopped in December.” This type of action taken by our current government clearly outlines their policy on the wonderfully politicized term family planning, a.k.a abortion and contraception. The conservative government and Stephen Harper boast that this plan is meant to save lives in developing countries, yet excluding support for ‘family planning’ will accomplish the exact opposite. Any support for people, especially women and children should be commended, so for that Mr. Harper should be thanked. But there is a very real fact that teen mothers are dying, women are being raped and children are being born into living standards lower than any of us can imagine. It seems Ottawa is basing its decision on western politics and morals that the dying women and children don’t know anything about. The Conservatives have the right to choose to support so called family planning, they need to make that choice based on science not outdated political pandering.

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NEWS & POLITICS

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

STREETER

Kwantlen students weigh in on: Career Day 2010 Last Thursday, Kwantlen had its Career Day, which saw over thirty exhibitors including CIBC, SFU Segal Graduate School of Business, Vancouver Police Department and Chartered Accountants of BC come out and share their opportunities for students. These included co-ops, volunteer positions, and most important for students, career prospects. The Runner asked you, what were your thoughts on Career Day? Did it live up to expectations or was it a waste of valuable studying time?

ANDREA CHARBONNEAU BACHELOR OF ARTS IN CRIMINOLOGY “It was good. It was very helpful with very good career options for very good opportunities.”

MITESH PAREKH BACHELOR OF BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION IN ACCOUNTING

MANDEEP SARKANA BACHELOR OF TECHNOLOGYINFORMATION TECHNOLOGY

It was pretty helpful. There was good information and it was great talking to different faces in the job industry.”

“Fun! You get to know about employers and the different opportunities. We should have more Career Days.”

VEG BITES

SAADIA SHEIKH BACHELOR OF ARTS IN PSYCHOLOGY “I came by to view it. It was pretty good.”

“Good! It was well organized and pretty friendly. It’s my third year of coming here.”

SEALS

Want to experiment with vegetarianism? Here’s how:

Examining the media’s examination of the seal hunt This is Matt, the Runner’s political columnist. This week he examines the media’s portrayal of the hotly debated seal hunt. [MATT LAW] [HEALTH BUREAU CHIEF ]

[MATT LAW] [HEALTH BUREAU CHIEF]

So you want to try becoming a vegetarian. Great. University students are among one of the largest groups to dabble in cutting meat out of their diets. There are all sorts of reasons; animal cruelty, hormones and chemicals in food, and specific diet trends, just to name a few. And there are all sorts of benefits; reduced fat intake, lower blood pressure, reduced risk of kidney disease and a reduced risk of some types of cancer. No matter what your reason, it is still important to get enough protein, iron , vitamins and minerals in your diet that you may be cutting out of your past omnivorous eating habits. Your best bet when starting out with new diet of any kind is to consult a qualified nutritionist.

CHARLES KONOPSKI BACHELOR OF BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION IN ENTREPRENEURIAL LEADERSHIP

If you eat properly and eat a wide variety of foods, then getting these nutrients should be no problem at all. Eating complete proteins which contain all the essential amino acids can be difficult for vegetarians. Beef, chicken, fish, egg whites and milk offer complete proteins. For vegetarians, soybeans offer the only complete protein so adding a little tofu to the diet is a good idea. Another option is eating what are called complimentary proteins. These are two foods that offer incomplete proteins but together make complete proteins. Some simple options are peanut butter and bread or red beans and rice. Iron is another important factor that may be lacking in a vegetarian diet. Iron is important for oxygen transportation and hormone production in the body. Some food options are whole-grains,

spinach, nuts and prune juice. And everybody loves prune juice. Another consideration is calcium intake (if you have cut out dairy products as well). Fortunately, there are plenty of soy and other products on the market that are fortified with calcium, just make sure you are consuming them. Vitamin B12, which helps with DNA synthesis and growth of nerve fibres, can also be a concern for vegetarians. Again, a lot of products are fortified with B12, but you may need to take a vitamin supplement to ensure you are getting enough. Vegetarian diets are a great thing to try and if you are strong enough to cut out meat all together, more power to you. You can also try making some days of the week meatless if you still get a craving for a hamburger. You will be surprised at how great you feel cutting down on meat products.

The Canadian media has reported fairly on both sides of the arctic seal hunt. The seal hunt has been an increasingly hot topic in Canadian federal politics. It has garnered even more debate from politicians and media since the European Union proposed a bill which would ban seal products. According to an article on the CBC News website the bill was passed by the European parliament on Mar. 9. Canada has responded by threatening to fight the ban in the WTO. The debate has been ongoing for many years. On one side are many environmentalists and animal rights activists. On the other are the Inuit people and many Atlantic fishermen who support their families on the income the seal hunt provides. Many supporters of the seal hunt have claimed that the media has been very biased on the issue, favouring the anti sealing movement. The personalities on either side of the debate are often very animated, colourful and often have a high profile. The media is drawn to these types of people as they are more interesting to the general public. These type of people seem more prominent on the anti sealing side. Pamela Anderson, who is

also a PETA activist, has recently sent a letter to the Prime minister asking him to end the hunting of seals. This story was covered by many media organizations because of Anderson’s celebrity profile. The activist groups also seem to be willing to go to greater lengths to gain public and media attention; holding protests, stripping nude and throwing pies at government officials. This type of action is fodder for the media. They thrive on it. So, there may be some truth to the sealers’ argument that the media seems biased, but I don’t think it is intentional. Last July the CBC published an article outlining some hard facts on the regulations and process of hunting seals. If anything, this article seemed to swing in the other direction, in favour of the sealing groups. I even found that the article attacked many of the anti sealing arguments and facts. One sided? I don’t think so. I think the media in Canada has done a fair job of handling both sides of the story, in particular the CBC. While they have reported on many examples of people against the arctic seal hunt, they have also given a lot of press to the counterargument. In my opinion, their coverage has been more than fair to the people who are fighting for the seal hunt. Their stories often feature real people who are struggling to support their families and their livelihoods. These are the type of stories which relate to all Canadians and can sway public opinion. At the same time the CBC’s coverage has shown many images of seals being clubbed to death on ice flows and blood stained snow, which pulls at many people’s emotions. I think the CBC has done a very good job on remaining an unbiased news organization over a topic which is very controversial.

SPORTS

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

vol. 2 issue 19 | March 30 2010 | page ﬁve

UPGRADE

Kwantlen to get a new stadium and ﬁeld [KASSANDRA LINKLATER/DOMINIC SRAMATY] [NEWS EDITOR/SPORTS BUREAU CHIEF]

If you’ve walk by Surrey Campus’ gym lately, you’ll notice one thing hangs prominently from the rafters simply because it hangs alone: a provincial championship banner. Last year the Kwantlen women’s soccer team won gold at provincials and came third and nationals. Since the introduction of the soccer program at Kwantlen in 2006 both soccer teams have been using a torn-up grass field for BCCAA league games and it simply does not get the job done. Often the fields are not available for practice so the teams use the artificial turf field located right next to it. With two provincial-calibre teams competing next season, they simply need better training and playing conditions at home. However, this will soon change for the Eagles, as a new sports field and stadium has been committed to the teams. In a recent press release, Kwantlen announced that it will give “$1.05 million to the creation of the new facility which, at a total cost of approximately $2.85

million, will become the home field for the Kwantlen Eagles’ varsity soccer program.” The field will be built at Newton Athletic Park to replace the gravel pitches. According to the plans, the field will also include a Kwantlen scoreboard, the university’s logo at midfield and seating for 500 spectators. The Kwantlen Athletic Department is wishing to have the field finished by late summer. “This is an important development for Kwantlen as a university,” said David Atkinson, president and vicechancellor of the university, according to a statement released by the university. He went on to say, “Not only will it provide a first-class facility for varsity sports, but it will make available to our students a whole range of opportunities for intramurals and recreational activity. There is no question that a facility of this quality will allow Kwantlen Athletics to be positioned for future development.” The Kwantlen Athletic Department is hoping to have the field finished by late summer. Realistically, the field will be done by the time the first home game rolls around in September.

COURTESTY OF KWANTLEN ATHELETICS

WOMEN’S HEALTH

women on WEIGHTS

Myth #7 Iphone applications are useless in helping you meet your fitness goals. [MICHELA FIORIDO] [SPORTS BUREAU CHIEF]

Actually, I think that, amongst the array of crappy timewasting applications out there, there are some very useful apps for the gym and general fitness. The right fitness app can provide you with a valuable way to track calories and workouts, but the wrong one can waste your time and leave you frustrated. This list only includes free apps, we’re all students here!

Lose it: this app allows you to set a goal weight and work towards it in a healthy, reasonable manner by helping you to meet a certain caloric goal for each day. It takes into account exercise and other calorie-burning activities that you might complete during the day. It allows you to log everything you’ve eaten and includes a large list of name-

PUMP IT! brand and common food items to add. It also keeps track of all your meals and all previous foods eaten, so it’s super easy to log what you eat once you get a couple days in. It’s an awesome way to keep track of food, your weight, and it also gives you perspective as to how many calories are actually present in the foods you consume regularly.

iMapMyRun: running is an amazing way to get a good workout, feel great, and lose weight. However, most people absolutely hate running, including myself. Enter iMapMyRun, the helpful and motivating tool that logs each run you complete. You are able to map exactly where you ran and the time it took you to run. It even allows you to input your weight and height, as well as view the calories burned and the distance you ran in miles. What is even more awesome is that the program can use the GPS capabilities on your iPhone to track where you’re running. No more excuses!

Heartbeat: I thought that this one was going to be a cheesy gimmick, but it’s actually really cool. Sometimes it’s nice to know your heart rate, whether you’re trying to keep up with Tony Horton on P90x, or making sure you’ve made it into the “fat burning” zone while doing cardio, or even checking to see if you’re still alive with an operating pulse at random moments

during the day (i.e. Canadian history class). This app allows you to manually track your heart beats per minute (bpm) by tapping the heart on the screen every time your heart beats. Yes, I realize in theory that it is extremely simplistic and one with a basic working knowledge of mathematics could figure out their own heartbeat. I’m not ashamed to admit that my multiplication skills were expunged with the culmination of my adolescence.

Gym Goal ABC: this app, while virtually useless for those experienced in the weight room, has the potential to be very helpful for beginners. It offers 280 exercises with animations to show how to complete them. It also allows you to add your own images to any exercise. Furthermore, it eliminates the need for separate calculator apps because it includes a variety of calculations such as BMI and body fat percentage. It lets you choose a specific area to work on from a map of the human body and it provides exercises designed for that muscle group. Ultimately, it’s a good one for gym newbies who are looking for exercise ideas for specific body parts or for proper instruction on how to lift and use free weights and machines. Before starting any fitness routine, consult a qualified fitness professional.

From princess to pumped: Crunch time Meet Hayley. Hayley is the Miss B.C. Ambassador. Hayley is also on a mission to win a bet against a fellow classmate. The stakes: eternal glory and her pride. Follow Hayley as she ditches the crown to master the chin-up. [HAYLEY WOODIN] [CONTRIBUTOR]

It’s time to cut to the chase: no more messing around or goofing off. I have three weeks left to pull off a couple of chin-ups, and time isn’t very forgiving. To ease into the swing of things, I’ve begun to practice my chin-ups with my feet still touching the ground. It sounds useless, but if you don’t actually use your legs and instead let them rest motionless on the floor, the arm muscles you use during a chin-up will strengthen and you can practice the chin-up motion with a little less weight. But how, you might ask, am I managing to pull off this stunt? I mean, I have long legs, but they aren’t so long that they continue to drag along the floor as I hoist myself above a

standard chin-up bar placed 6 feet in the air. The answer, my friends, is rings. This is no Circle Du Soleil acrobatic performance. I have merely laced – sturdily laced mind you – a strap around the top of the chin-up bar, with a ring dangling down below the bar on each end of the strap. Because they are low down, I can begin kneeling on the ground with my arms slightly extended at an obtuse angle, and execute several chin-ups. Basically what I am getting at is that I have created the chin-up version of a knee pushup or a “girl” push-up as it is often called. But hey, I am a girl with little arm strength, trying to win a meal off of an overly confident classmate: what do you expect? Next stop, raising the rings.

page six | March 30 2010 | vol. 2 issue 19

EDITORIAL

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

THE RUNNER

OPINION: 60 EARTH HOUR

It’s time to appreciate what we have: Earth Hour [NATSUMI OYE] [CURRENT EVENTS BUREAU CHIEF]

Earth Hour has come and gone, and hopefully, left us all a little more conscious about the environment. For those of you who don’t know, and so probably didn’t participate, Earth Hour happened on Sat. Mar. 27th, at 8:30 p.m. At this time, for one hour, millions of people all over the world turned off their lights at home and at work, as a statement against climate change. This movement started out in Australia in 2007, and has since spread worldwide, with hundreds of millions of people in 4,000 cities of 88 countries participating in 2009. Landmarks have also participated in the hour, including Sydney Harbour Bridge, The CN Tower, The Golden Gate Bridge and Rome’s Colosseum, according to earthhour.org. The World Wildlife Fund is in charge of Earth Hour, and had hoped to have one billion people participate this year, reported the Vancouver Sun. Not everyone is a believer in

climate change though. Some people are still stuck in their old ways, refusing to admit that we need to change the way that we deal with climate change and how we think about the environment. Regardless of

is a pretty safe assumption that the majority of students attending university deal with technology during a major chunk of their days. Whether it is a computer or a cell phone or an iPod, technology

COURTESY OF THE WORLD WILDLIFE FOUNDATION Residents in Cape Town, South Africa turned off their lights and lit lanterns to celebrate Earth Hour and promote the cause.

whether or not climate change is happening to the point where the environment will be destroyed a lot sooner than anyone cares to have happen, there is no getting around the fact that we need to get back to some more natural roots. It

and electricity are used in abundance in our everyday lives. So why not take an hour out of your day, one day a year, and turn off the lights? How about going one further and turning your cell phone and computer off and put

your iPod and other gadgets away and have a conversation with someone close to you that doesn’t involve one of you tapping away on Facebook trying to sustain multiple conversations with multiple people at once, while the other one pecks annoyingly away at their cell phone, texting someone sitting in the next room. Taking a stand against climate change is what Earth Hour is officially about, but it can also be about treating nature with respect. It can be about existing just a little bit more naturally than we normally do. It can be about just turning off all the lights and taking a break from the urgency and quick pace of everyday life. The majority of us can stand to live our lives a little more naturally, with a little more appreciation for the world’s natural state. Here in the Greater Vancouver area we live in one of the most beautiful places in the world. It’s about time we started appreciating it.

The Runner is student owned and operated by Kwantlen Polytechnic University students, published under Polytechnic Ink Publishing Society.

Vol. 2, Issue no. 19 March 30, 2009 ISSN# 1916-8241 #205-12877 76 Ave. Surrey, B.C. V3W 1E6 www.runnerrag.ca

EDITORIAL DIVISION: Co-ordinating Editor // Denny Hollick editor@runnerrag.ca Culture Editor // Melissa Fraser culture@runnerrag.ca News Editor // Kassandra Linklater news@runnerrag.ca Production Editor // Cat Yelizarov production@runnerrag.ca Media Editor // Christopher Poon media@runnerrag.ca

BUREAU CHIEFS: Arts & Design // Mae Velasco Creative Writing // Jared Vaillancourt

Do you have an opinion? We would like to hear it! Maybe you’ll even get paid for it! Email for more info: editor@runnerrag.ca

Current Events // Natsumi Oye Entertainment // Kristi Jut Environmental // Abby Wiseman Health // Matt Law

OPINION: FAMILY DAY

Lifestyle // Jeff Groat

Family Day: Does BC deserve another holiday? JARED VAILLANCOURT [CONTRIBUTOR]

So. The BC government may be considering a provincewide holiday in February to commemorate Canada’s achievements in the Olympics. Don’t think this was a good

idea? Neither did I. Holidays are supposed to be special occasions, like birthdays or anniversaries, where the spirit of something wondrous or miraculous is commemorated and celebrated… and sorry, but winning a number of shiny trinkets isn’t really wondrous or miraculous, no offense to the athletes intended. It’s true of all holidays: Easter, Ramadan, Hanukah et cetera. However, if the B.C. government is adamant about

placing a holiday directly in the middle of February, then I have an alternative in mind: Family Day. What is Family Day, you ask? Family Day is the midFebruary holiday started by Stephen Harper’s Conservative government a few years back in an effort to alleviate the stressful lives of all the hardworking peoples of this great nation. B.C., for some (probably protestor-related) reason, was the only province

to not pick this holiday up. Now, I’m not saying that Family Day is something special or wondrous (the idea is a day to spend with your family, you know, unlike all those pesky non-holiday days), but when the decision to have a holiday in the middle of February has been set in stone come Hell or high water, then the choice becomes painfully clear: Olympic-Gold-Digger Day or Family Day, anyone?

Politics // Cole Grifﬁn Sports // Michela Fiorido Dominic Sramaty Student Affairs // Chris Yee Travel // (Vacant)

CONTRIBUTORS: Todd Easterbrook, Max Hirtz, Jessica Pambid Weronika Slowinski, Hayley Woodlin Cover Art // Cat Yelizarov

BUSINESS DIVISION: Operations Manager // DJ Lam ops@runnerrag.ca

OPINION: PRICES IN CANADA

Canadians get ripped off by big companies

Ofﬁce Co-ordinator // Victoria Almond ofﬁce@runnerrag.ca Distribution // The Now Newspaper

[DENNY HOLLICK] [CO-ORDINATING EDITOR]

Consumers in Canada get ripped off. Big time. Big companies do whatever they can to ensure that prices remain high across all retailers and service companies (especially in Canadian markets). An example is when I went to buy some audio parts from Future Shop: some wire and a fuse. The parts were priced at about $35 - which I told the sales person was “outrageous.” I was aware what the whole-

sale costs were of the parts, which totalled approximately $15. That’s a markup of nearly 125%! The salesman asked me what I wanted to pay and took off nearly 40% without any manager authorization or flinching. Just goes to show how extreme their markups are. I looked for the parts online, and the cost was about $18, with shipping included. The difference: There is much more competition between businesses online with less overhead. That being said, there is often very little competition in many sectors of Canada such as retail electronics and telecom companies. As a result, these companies can set their prices much higher in Canada and

essentially are committing collusion (price fixing). In 2008, telecom companies were going to charge for incoming text messages because of the stress and costs on their networks. Engineers laughed at this claim estimating that text messaging in Canada uses a total of approximately 4.5 GB of data on ALL networks per day (About the same to download a movie) - yet according to Canada.com, charges to customers would equate to nearly $734 per megabyte (4.4 times higher than what transmission costs were for the Hubble Space Telescope). For many reasons, this lack of competition is because of protectionist market regulations imposed by government

regulators to ensure companies remain Canadian owned. Many companies that are in our market are owned indirectly by companies abroad anyway! (Rogers Wireless is indirectly owned by AT&T, a US company). As such, these regulations are ineffective and increases pricing for Canadians. So to the regulators: Get off your high horse! And to consumers: We are the ones that drive market demands. If we purchase from such companies that constantly rip us off, they will continue to do so. So do some research and perhaps try something new: A mom & pop store or an online retailer. Big companies will be forced to change if we start to do the same.

CULTURE

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

LIST OF TEN

vol. 2 issue 19 | March 30 2010 | page seven

GOOD THING - BAD THING

A Grassroots review Littered tables and annoying music take away from fresh food [MELISSA FRASER] [CULTURE EDITOR]

Top ten holiday tales [COLE GRIFFIN] [POLITICAL BUREAU CHIEF]

10.

Groundhog Day: Bill Murray’s first contribution to our list, this movie was a surprise blockbuster. The premise is an ego-maniacal news anchor stuck re-living the same holiday over and over. He uses the never ending day to learn how to play piano, carve ice sculptures with a chainsaw, and seduce several women with ethically questionable methods. When all is said and done we learn that love is the highest pursuit, or that the ability to travel through time is a rapist’s best friend.

It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown: Charles Schultz’s major contribution to pop culture, excluding his comic strip that ran for three hundred and fifty years. This Halloween favourite is actually a powerful allegory illustrating the irrationality of faith. Linus, a deeply traumatized child with anxieties that manifest themselves in a security blanket fixation and a thumb sucking compulsion, ruins Halloween for everyone with his delusions about a Great Pumpkin.

Miracle on 34th Street: One of the seminal classics of the golden age of cinema, a man named Kris Kringle takes a job playing Santa at Macy’s and teaches everyone to believe again in the magic of Christmas. In the end, after a dramatic court hearing challenging his sanity, Kris is proven to be the real Santa. But it’s a lie Timmy, a filthy lie! There is no Santa Claus, and mommy’s ‘special friend’ is actually her crack dealer and pimp!

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: This movie is what it is all about. Burl Ives as the talking snowman narrator, tells us a story about how even in Christmas town bigotry is still alive and well. Badgered by a lifetime of bullying, Rudolph and fellow misfit Hermes risk the dangers of a barren arctic wasteland, which includes an abominable snowman and an insane prospector, who may or may not make unspeakable love to the beast.

A Christmas Carol: Sadly, this is Charles Dickens’s most successful work. Despite the magnitude of his brilliance, his most enduring contribution promises to be a storyline that’s been done and redone until there’s no magic left. There

has been somewhere over a hundred movie versions of this story made. Royalties for the author? Zero. Bupkis. Nada.

Scrooged: Easily the most powerful adaptation of Dickens’s classic, Bill Murray brings a depth and pathos to the Scrooge archetype never before seen on the screen. How’s it end? Same way it always ends, but this time with Bill Murray!

I spent some time in the Grassroots Cafe last week. I paid $6.25 for a mexi-cali wrap and sat down for an hour to do some homework and enjoy my dinner. I noticed a few things, good and bac about the cafe while I was there. GOOD THING: You don’t have to leave campus. BAD THING: You have to listen to the two guys behind you talk about how much “pussy” they got the weekend before.

GOOD THING: Computers. BAD THING: Staff members that were talking about hung over they were because they got “so drunk” the night before. GOOD THING: Fresh ingredients. BAD THING: $6.25 for a wrap and I don’t even get fries? GOOD THING: Lots of natural light? BAD THING: The place was a mess. I just paid $6.25 for wrap and I can’t even eat in a cafe with clean tables. GOOD THING: Microwave and fridge so you can bring your

own lunch. BAD THING: You better bring your own dinner, too because food service stops at 6 p.m. GOOD THING: The huge television is great if there’s something interesting to watch. BAD THING: On this particular night I had to watch poker with the volume turned up, competing with loud, bad ‘80s music from the kitchen. GOOD THING: Beer and other alcoholic beverages at a fair price. BAD THING: Paper plates and paper cups.

It’s a Wonderful Life: Can’t really overrate this movie. Frank Capra and James Stewart give us some of their finest work in this classic. In one of Hollywood’s cruel ironies, this film’s initially lacklustre box office performance indicated to the studio execs that Frank Capra no longer had it. Then, fifty years later, Capra and these studio execs never got together to have a laugh over the irony, because they were all dead. It’s a wonderful life, my ass.

The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special: Perhaps the most moving story of this, or any, holiday season. This masterwork by Keith Giffen and Simon Bisley exposed a whole generation of ‘Mature’ comic book readers to the dark truth behind Santa. The Easter Bunny, sick of being the second best holiday icon, takes out a contract on the Clause. The contractor: Lobo, the main fraggin’ man.

The Nightmare Before Christmas: Anyone who didn’t think Tim Burton was a genius before this movie quickly had their minds changed. Scary and beautiful, this film takes us along with Jack Skellington, the pumpkin king, on his insane quest to capture the magic of Christmas. Along the way he kidnaps Santa, unzips the Boogey Man and finds out the only thing he was ever really missing was love. This movie deserves better than that.

The Passion of the Christ: Here it is folks. This is what Easter is all about. Based upon the incident that started it all, this three hour long snuff film has been stirring up antiSemitism for five hundred years and, thanks to Mel Gibson, it will be stirring it up for five hundred more. Now, I’ve never seen it myself, but a friend told me it was about some old hippy that the Romans torture and kill, for being a hippy. Now in his memory, we eat chocolate and worship a giant rabbit. Makes sense to me!

REVIEW

Ugly Americans review There’s a new show on television and it isn’t for the faint of heart. Watch as American stereotypes make their way through the everyday happenings in New York and in Hell, not that there’s much difference [JARED VAILLANCOURT] [CREATIVE WRITING BUREAU CHIEF]

We’re all living in America! According to this new show on the Comedy Network, that phrase is to be pitied. The new show, entitled Ugly Americans, shows an overtly satirical view of what the rest of the world stereotypes many kinds of Americans as – all set in good old New York City. The show opens with the opening credits covered by a snippet of the song “Amerika” by Rammstein, and introduces the main characters as – you guessed it – ugly, undead, inhuman, demonic and often times downright grotesque versions of American stereotypes. The main character, a bleeding heart human (a man whose last name is Lilly), is thrown into the world of New York, where almost all of the population is either undead, demons from Hell (accessible via escalator in

the subway), mutants or anthropomorphic creatures and even fantasy and horrific sci-fi creatures, like wizards and robots. In fact, his boss/girlfriend is the only (arguably) attractive nonhuman on the show, a demon named Carrie. The plot of the pilot was pretty generic life-in-America as well: Lilly is a caseworker trying to help immigrants assimilate, while his demon boss picks off problem cases for deportation (with the help of – ready for this? – a dirty cop). While trying to keep his cases safe from the police, who appear to have no sense of morals whatsoever, he tackles his relationship with Carrie (even going literally to Hell to have lunch with her and her father). Between the horrors of Hell, the grotesque scene of his roommate in a zombie day spa (don’t ask) and the ending scene in a bar full of horny inhuman freaks, the show does manage

to flaunt its highly dark sense of humor (which you really have to be twisted to understand) and, if you’re relatively immune to the extremely patronizing underlay of anti-American satire, then it’s actually quite entertaining. However, the show is not for the faint of heart. Carrie frequently makes demonic declarations (“Oh, you’re so sweet! I want to DRAG YOU OFF TO A BURNING ETERNITY OF PAIN!”), zombie cast members are seen torn flesh-from-bone and the like, and over-sexuality is so grossly laid on that it totally ruins the normal person’s desire for procreation (for example: the man doing hooter shooters off the girl with twenty breasts). On top of that, it is very anti-American, anti-Christian and highly, highly gory and unapologetic. If you can stomach it, then you’re in for a good time. Amerika ist wunderbar!

page eight | March 30 2010 | vol. 2 issue 19

FEATURE

Long-weekend

getaway

The long weekend is upon us and what better way to spend it than in a city other than our own. No matter which way you head, north, east, south or west, there’s a weekend getaway waiting to happen.

Portland [MELISSA FRASER] [CULTURE EDITOR]

Portland is a small city, but it’s split into neighbourhoods like any other. Each neighbourhood attracts its own set of locals and each has it’s own charm. The Pearl District can be likened to our Granville Island. There are a ton of independant restauranteurs and local designers that have set up shop in what used to be Portland’s industrial area. You could spend a day walking around the district popping in and out of cafés and galleries. In the neighbourhood, find the worlds’s largest independant new and used book store, Powell Books. Downtown Portland is built on the Willamette River and looks across at Vancouver, Washington. It’s a relatively small core and there

GUANATOS GWYN// FLICKR

isn’t much to see, but it’s a great place to take in brand name shopping at American prices. The park at the river is a great place to relax after a long afternoon of roaming the city as well. Across the city from the downtown core, but still within walking distance, sits the University of Portland. The campus is a mix of old and new buildings with a very open, very green feel. There’s an art gallery on campus as well as a number of super inexpensive performances put on by university students and professors. As with any city on the West Coast, the real heritage along with the real people can be found in China Town. It can get a bit sketchy at night, but the city’s coolest bars and most interesting eateries can be found on a walk through China Town, or Old Town as it’s also refered. Stop by Voodoo Doughnut when you’re in the area. The doughnuts are an institution in the city, which is a good reason why the shop is open 24 hours but has no seating. Just south of the city, through a Dunbar-type neigbourhood you’ll find Washington Park. If you like parks, there’s no reason why you won’t want to spend a least an afternoon looking around. With a number of memorials, gardens and a zoo, Washington park is a nice spot to take it easy. Portland is famous for it’s greenery, it’s bike culture and more importantly it’s happy hour. With 28 microbreweries in the city, each with a restaurant attached, Portland’s eateries attract customers with cheap cuisine and even cheaper beer. Most restaurants offer $3-$5 appetizers before 8 p.m. along with $2-$4 pints. Some places even offer free appetizers. If there is one thing you do in Portland, visit a microbrewery for happy hour. You won’t taste a fresher, more delicious pint.

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

Vernon [HAYLEY] [CONTRIBUTOR]

Long weekends can mean anything from spending some quiet, quality time with the family to taking a break from your relatives and escaping the regularities of life. For students, a break like the Easter long weekend usually means a couple days off school and catching up on some sleep. But wherever you are, whoever you’re with and however you like to spend your free time, vacations are a nice way to wind down or recharge. Vernon, B.C. is the perfect sort of place to do what you want with who you want. I’ve been to Vernon twice, both times for their annual Winter Carnival in February. It’s a beautiful place to be in the winter months because they actually have real winters there: the streets and trees are covered in snow, and Vernon’s Silver Star Mountain Resort is always ready for locals and visitors alike. Because of the city’s cold temperatures during the winter, I’ve always assumed Vernon to be the type of place you only visit between November

and March. The truth however is quite the opposite. Vernon is a four-season destination where you can go tubing down Silver Star’s snowy slopes and on Lake Okanagan’s choppy waters in the same day. You can go camping, hiking, biking, canoeing, kayaking, skiing and snowboarding all within the city’s limits, and still have time for dining, shopping and exploring the town. The Vernon Winter Carnival is the largest of Vernon’s festivals, but it’s by no means the only one. Farmers markets run from spring to fall, and events like Cherryville Days, the Sunshine Festival, the Greater Vernon Dragon Boat Race and the Rare Earth Music Fest come and go all summer long. Vernon isn’t like Vancouver: there isn’t much of a club scene, nor are there big sporting events or concerts to go to, but the point of a vacation is to get away from your normal life and try something new. Vernon’s only a 441km drive from Vancouver, which makes it a perfect place to spend three free days however you want to spend them.

RICHARD VIGNOLA// FLICKR

FEATURE

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

vol. 2 issue 19 | March 30 2010 | page nine

Gold River [MATT LAW] [HEALTH BUREAU CHIEF]

MATT LAW// THE RUNNER

If you want to experience something new this long weekend go to Gold River. If you are afraid to leave tall buildings behind and can’t stand to be more than five minutes away from a Starbucks then read no further. Gold River is located on Muchalat Inlet on the west coast of Vancouver Island. As it is with most Island towns, Gold River is an industry based community relying on logging and fishing. In other words unless you have a keen interest in the outdoors there is not much to do there. Hiking, kayaking, surfing and climbing are all great things to do around town but some of the best attractions are the caves. Getting to Gold River from Vancouver involves a ferry trip and close to a three-anda-half-hour scenic driving along the island highway and through Strathcona Park. A 17 km drive from town on typical Island logging roads where you will most likely see black bears and the odd heard of elk will take

you to the parking lot for these easily accessible caves. Snow usually covers the ground in March and April so be prepared for any weather. Once at the cave network you can follow a maintained path from the parking lot to the 15 known entrances. If there is still snow on the ground find someone who knows the area to guide you, it can be pretty dangerous trying to find holes in the ground when they are covered in snow. A helmet and reliable headlamp are also a must for any caving expedition. The caves offer close to 1500 feet of tunnels to crawl through and some huge caverns for those not interested in the tighter squeezes. One of the main caves opens into a beautiful grotto with a stunning waterfall in old growth forest, a great place to stop for lunch. If you mange to go in the early spring when there is still snow you can find spectacular icicles and a rather crude natural ice rink in the main cave. If you don’t mind getting a little dirty and have an adventurous side then this a great weekend trip.

Victoria [JEFF GROAT] [LIFESTYLE EDITOR]

Victoria is one of my all-time favourite places to go. It’s definitely smaller than Vancouver and it has that relaxed “island” feel, but it manages to be fun and lively as long as laid back is your kind of thing. Now it may be quiet, but the downtown core – called the Inner Harbour – is as much fun to walk as Vancouver’s is. There are coffee shops and art galleries, but because of the island factor, there seems to be more smaller, independently owned places. The island-folk seem to be more opposed to the chain-business thing in Victoria. One of my favourite things to do in Victoria is eat. Right near the water in the redbricked Market Square is a Mexican restaurant called, Café Mexico. The food is what I take to be authentic, and the patio which looks out on Market Square is one of my favourite places to sip a Corona and munch on tortillas and salsa. Not far from Café Mexico is a tiny little French restaurant called Matisse, which is named after the famous French artist. The restaurant is amazingly intimate with white tablecloths, candles and only a handful of tables. Unfortunately, a meal for two at this restaurant might cost as much as a Matisse original, but is definitely

worth every penny. Personally, I am a nut for outerspace, and if I choose to get out of the city for an afternoon, I head over to the Little Saanich Mountain Observatory for some education and science. Once again, it’s quiet and it’s laid back, but I suspect for different reasons. Sure, there’s the B.C. Legislature and the Empress Hotel, but honestly who cares? One is full of overpaid servants who don’t really do anything and the other one serves really expensive tea. The best times I’ve had in Victoria revolve around a table of food and drinks, with me taking my sweet-ass time and enjoying every moment of it.

DMSCVAN// FLICKR

page ten | March 30 2010 | vol. 2 issue 19

HOW MANY EGGS?

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

Easter Egg Hunt Rules: Count all of the eggs in this issue let us know how many there are. Email your answer to media@runnerrag.ca along with your name, student number and campus. Those who answer correctly will be entered into a draw for a $25 Chapters gift card. Deadline for submissions is April 5 at high noon.

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

HOW MANY EGGS?

vol. 2 issue 19 | March 30 2010 | page eleven

CREATIVE

page twelve | March 30 2010 | vol. 2 issue 19

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

SCI-FI

Shifting Ice: Treasure Given Up [JARED VAILLANCOURT] [CREATIVE WRITING BUREAU CHIEF]

Chapter Ten “How is your leg?” Klezyp asked worriedly. Vintis grunted. “It’s fine.” It replied. “Just relax, Klezyp. You’re drawing attention.” “Right, right,” Klezyp whispered as they made their way to the terminal. An amicable Jukkopo smiled up at them as they approached, his tendrils twitching merrily. “Welcome,” he greeted the Zwitii. “How can I help you?” “My name is Klezyp,” Klezyp informed the alien, “and this is my friend Vintis. I called ahead and booked two seats on the shuttle, I believe?” it asked as it ran its finger over the reader on the Jukkopo’s desk. The alien considered his screen for a moment before he turned and smiled once again. “Of course,” the Jukkopo chuckled. “Proceed to platform 37. Boarding for Uixynki will begin in another hour. Have a safe flight!” he shouted as Klezyp smiled and walked through the security screen. Vintis returned the alien’s polite smile and lumbered through the glowing force field. The rippling blue energy tingled against its skin. “There! That was the hard part, eh?” Klezyp asked as it wrapped its arm around Vintis’. “It’s all smooth flying from here.”

“I would hope so,” Vintis grumbled. “Isn’t Uixynki closer to the war zone than Kapilo?” “Maybe a parsec or two, sure,” Klezyp chuckled nervously. “But that’s all relative. It is, after all, several dozen light-years from Kapilo, at least.” Klezyp grunted as it helped Vintis sit on a waiting bench. “That is all I am worried about, Vintis.” “Good enough,” Vintis grunted as it relaxed. “I suppose it’ll be nice to see another world. I’ve spent the last fifty years on Kapilo. There are times I forget most systems are trinary, eh?” it remarked. Klezyp giggled and patted Vintis on the shoulder. “Uixynki will fix that,” it informed it. “It’s a beautiful moon in a lovely blue giant trinary.” “Moon?” Vintis asked. “Uixynki is a moon?” Klezyp scoffed and smiled. “What, you think giant rocks have all the fun?” it asked. “I’m going for a drink. Care for anything?” it asked as it stood up. Vintis smiled. “Sure,” Vintis smirked. “If the vender-bots have it, I’ll take a Yellow Moon,” it replied. Klezyp let out a quick laugh and quickly bent down to give Vintis a kiss. Vintis sighed as it watched Klezyp disappear into the crowd. Suddenly, someone on the bench behind it let out a low whistle. “Damn, girl, you sure are

POETRY

lucky,” Vintis turned to find a tall, slimy Oulu flapping her sensory tendons at it. “I haven’t smelt love like that since I was on Cordiina.” Vintis growled and gave the tall, sightless alien a sneer. “What business is it of yours?” Vintis asked. The Oulu chuckled. “Everything is my business,” the Oulu whispered, lisping over her sensory tendons. “I was there, girl. I was on Cordiina. I smelt the Izraal’s fear as their sun exploded and their world burned.” Vintis sighed and shook its head as it turned away from the alien. “If you were on Cordiina,” Vintis whispered, “then how come you’re not a cloud of vapor right now?” Vintis smirked as it thought about the benefits of that scenario. “Because,” the Oulu replied, suddenly sitting right next to Vintis, “I knew, girl. I knew the sun would burst. I smelt the change in the sky and I fled.” The foul-smelling alien chuckled. “I fled.” “And politely forgot to warn your Izraal allies?” Klezyp asked loudly as it returned, a Yellow Moon in each hand. The Oulu turned her head towards it and scoffed. “I smell disbelief of my powers,” she growled as she reared up, “and sweet sugars.” “These drinks are for us,” Klezyp hissed at the alien. “Go bug someone else.” The tall

Oulu let out a reek of indignation that caused Vintis to gag, but turned and stomped away. Klezyp sat down as it watched the deranged alien go. “Poor soul probably was on Cordiina when it exploded,” Klezyp remarked. “It’d explain why she’s crazy.” Vintis chuckled as it accepted its drink. “Klezyp, if I’ve learned anything these past few days, it’s that the whole universe is crazy.” It remarked. Klezyp lifted its glass and touched it to Vintis’. The two shared a toast. “Her calling you ‘girl’ is testimony to that,” Klezyp replied. Vintis downed its drink. “I still think it’s no game,” it said slowly. “Sooner or later, they’ll all find out.” “Maybe,” Klezyp sighed as gate 37 opened up, “but for now, let’s get off of this forsaken rock.”

To be continued next week... Check out other Shifting Ice chapters at runnerrag.ca

PHOTOGRAPHY

Your More is Less [WERONIKA SLOWINSKI]

I wish I was waterproof like starlight that (good)bye’s could not rip microscopic windows through my armor that these things came easy the easy of inborn kinetics that days later I could peel an apple white flesh beneath moist as the hollows of your neck and not crave your back-and-forth tidal desires I know now I should not have wandered back up to the room at the top of the stairs lied through trembling teeth say I’ve veiled my feelings ever so well

JESSICA PAMBID // THE RUNNER

the truth is the (truth) is even to lift myself up out of bed hurts

JESSICA PAMBID // THE RUNNER

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

CREATIVE

vol. 2 issue 19 | March 30 2010 | page thirteen

SHORT STORY

An Incongruous Rose [TODD EASTERBROOK] [CONTRIBUTOR]

I didn’t know if I was going to get out alive. The crowd was coming upon me fast. I could see the blood lust in their eyes as they watched me trip and fall to the hard pavement. The boy was frothing at the mouth. He wanted me. He wanted me bad. The rain was thick and hard that day. It was cold. Real cold. I could see the vapour and steam escape as they groaned and panted in their pursuit. It escaped into the exposed night air and vanished as fast as it had come. I knew they would get me; like they had taken many like me before; like they had taken the rest of my company; like they had taken Rose. I knew that my chances were slim. If I could just make it to the other side of the reservoir, the reservoir is my only hope, I thought. I picked myself up and kept running. I had only run that fast once before and it had almost not been enough. My legs pumped like pistons and my breath was short and fast, short and fast, short and fast. My whole body was working for me—for Rose—for everyone that I had failed before me. I could still feel the way they had pulsed in the night. That incessant pulsing was unbearable. I glanced back momentarily, gauging how much space I had. The boy was gaining on me. He was leading the pack and was faster than me. He knew it. His scream shattered me. It pierced my skull and rang in my ears like a bellowing steam engine—only it was high, the most high-pitched pulsing you could imagine. Even If I could get to the reservoir, I could never elude that pulsing scream. It etched itself into me, searing and owning me. He was close now. I could feel his hot breath on me; reaching for me; wanting me. I was terrified of that boy. I knew that he could not take me himself. He would let the others do that and they would reward him with my head. The reservoir was close now. I pushed on. If they got me my blood would have been motor oil. I reached the bank of the reservoir. The moon was out now and the earth was cold and unforgiving, but that wasn’t worrying me. That boy. His eyes were a light blue, but there was a darkness to them that was undeniable. They were eyes that have lost all semblances. He could taste my fear. He was fear. I climbed up the embankment and gained some breathing room. He struggled momentarily, but his will and lust gave him a resolve I could not match. I knew it was only a matter of time until they would catch me. Maybe not this time but how long could I keep running for? The human will for survival is only so great. My will was diminishing with every step I took; every morning I awoke; every time I found an abandoned liquor store. No, I thought, don’t think like that. It will eat you worse than anything else. The others had reached the reservoir now and were gaining on the boy. He fell back to the

middle of the pack and satisfactory perspiration relished my skin: I could make it now. I would make it. I cleared the top of the reservoir and scrambled down the other side in a hail of dirt and mud. Fuck! There at the bottom stood a chain link fence that jutted out from the dirt and mire and climbed above the dead earth to reveal a necklace of barbed wire shining silver-blue in the moonlight. My pair of worn out converse and the pajamas my mother bought me for Christmas a few years back would be my only barrier against the awaiting razors. The pajamas were from a local department store, Sears or Macy’s or something that doesn’t exist anymore. I reflected for a moment on how I could have noticed the juxtaposition of the barbed wire as ‘silver-blue in the moonlight’; I shook it off as archaic conditioning; I shook it off as twisted reverie in my collapsed mind. I leapt up the side of the fence, digging my cons into the metal grooves and seizing the links in my sweaty hands. A man was at the bottom of the fence now, after me in a crazed fit like his life didn’t depend on it. He scaled the fence, his weight causing the links and supporting poles to shake and pulse on their foundations. He too was incessantly frothing at the mouth. I was at the top now—this, and the fact that I had a mob of rabid boxingday shoppers after me whose sole notion of consumerism was to literally consume my very being made me into physical, frantic dread. My panic worsened and pulsed in my chest and head and veins and eyes. My arm flashed across the wire, drawing blood. I winced and exhaled a shallow breath. I could feel my lungs clench and hide away in my chest. I could feel a hand on my ankle that became tight and distinguished. The man’s hand gripped me like a vice and I tried to shake free. The blood ebbed out of the slit in my arm and traveled down to my elbow and onto the mud and muck beneath my fear. I kicked at the hand without looking—not daring to look at the abomination that lurked in vertical chase beneath me. I kicked frantically and incessantly at the strong hand that seemed to forever clutch me. My panic reduced my kicking to a spasm-like movement, much like when a dog’s stomach is scratched vigorously and its hind leg involuntarily kicks with relaxed, trusting pleasure and excitement. No I thought, this is not at all like that. Trust and hope like that doesn’t exist anymore. This is something entirely different. This is me bleeding and drowning in the new world; spasming like a child for my life in the night; sweating like meaty

swine in a runaway butcher house, all the while being lead to a mischievous and incongruous slaughter. I snaked and kicked my leg frantically in despair. I kept looking beyond the fence at the compound I knew was open and safe just beyond my body and just out of reach. I needed this sanctuary. I kept thinking of Rose and how I should just give up and give in and just fucking give. Why didn’t I ever tell her the truth? Why didn’t I tell her all those days in the car? It doesn’t matter now, I thought, love has no use anymore. I should just end it all and end the pain and embrace my cold friend and perhaps relinquish some form of sanity. No. I broke free of my assailant and mounted the top of the fence. The barbed wire cut deep into my throat and just below my left eye. I forced my weight over the barricade, teetered for an instant—I could have gone either way—and started to fall onto the right earth below. My department store pajamas ripped as my leg funneled itself into a knot in the wire. The pain rushed through my body and I barely felt it as I hung helplessly upside down. The man was at the top of the fence now and was meandering around the wire to clutch at my rooted leg, his head and snarling tongue eclipsing the light like an evil vagabond in the night. I pulled frantically at the bottom of the fence to free myself and bring the stability of the muddy earth to me once more. The more I pulled the more the wire dug into my flesh like tiny anchors and the more the rabid man and his dark shadow clutched me with a certainty I could not escape. I looked to the compound that seemed distant now—distant like Rose—distant like everything I once knew and loved and relished and hated. I heard the small boy on the other side of the fence digging and clawing at the earth beneath. He was intent on entering beneath the fence since he was too small to overcome it. He was intent on eating my face and throat while I hung helplessly in the stale and irrelevant breeze. The boy was halfway through. The blood from my neck poured out steadily and I could see it splatter and mix and stain the dark mud below. The boy let out a shriek that pulsed through my chest and skull. He was reaching for me from underneath the fence, his body not quite able to make it completely through. He squirmed and panted,

the hot froth from his mouth escaping into the air and onto the ground. I was terrified. My body shook desperately in an attempt to free itself. My hands clawed at the fence, but as I pulled myself downward my foot only tightened in the wire and vice of the snarling man. The boy was through. He was at my face and throat with a scream that instantly deafened me. Everything was drowned out in darkness and I began to hear a faint ringing in the distance. I forgot about the pain and blood and flesh and focused on the ringing. *** I awoke to sound of my cell phone on my bedside table. My sheets and pajamas were soaked with sweat and tears were running down my face and neck. The sun was shining through my bedroom window, reflecting off of the metal faceplate. I answered, it was Rose: “Get up, I’m waiting outside.” She said, and hung up. I got dressed, put on my cons and made my way down the steps and outside. There had been rain the night before and the steps and pathway off my veranda were still wet. I walked across the lawn and exited through the open wire gate that separating my house from civilization and me from Rose’s car. As I walked closer the sun’s reflection rolled down the hood of the car and bounced off the paint silver and blue. She leaned over and popped the lock so I could get in. “Hey stranger.” She said. “God, you don’t even look human. What side of the bed did you fall out of today?” She said with a smile. I sat down and closed the door. Disregarding her comment, I said immediately—earnestly, “Rose, I‘m in love with you. I’ve always been in love with you,”—a stream of drool escaping like froth from my lips and onto the bucket seat. “Shit.” I said. We both laughed. “Sara—“ she said, and started driving into the cold sun.

CULTURE

page fourteen | March 30 2010 | vol. 2 issue 19

JAMMIN’ WITH GINGER

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

GROAT IN THE SACK

Interracial couplings This is Jeff Groat. He’s the Runner’s sex columnist. He has only one qualification for the job: his last name sounds like a dirty word. That’s good enough for us. [JEFF GROAT] [LIFESTYLE BUREAU CHIEF]

KRISTI JUT// THE RUNNER

Drugs + festivals = no good This is Kristi Jut. She loves music. She’s also a ginger. And she does have a soul. And she likes music with soul, too. [KRISTI JUT] [ENTERTAINMENT BUREAU CHIEF]

Ah, festival season is upon us. For North America, Austin, Texas’ SXSW just ended. The exponentially growing Coachella music festival in Indio, California comes just in time for the American spring break in April. Then in May, there’s the one that’s most near and dear to us Lower Mainland dwellers: Sasquatch! festival in Washington. While we cross our fingers for our favourite bands to appear on our nearest music festival line-up, there’s one thing that remains constant

each year, at every music fest from Glastonbury to Bonnaroo. And that’s drugs. If you don’t believe me, YouTube this: Bonnaroo, I got it. But it’s more likely that you already do believe me, because not only does history indicate that music and drugs are never far from each other (see: Woodstock), you’ve probably been one of those dirty, strung out festival goers looking to buy acid from the guy in the tie-dye shirt. If you happen to be one of the thousands of people who does pick up a tab or two, remember that you’re there for the music, not just the drugaddled camping experience (though it is sometimes part of the appeal). As my experience went one year, I missed out on

seeing Neko Case just because I wanted a handful of mushrooms. Instead of being outside with hydrated happy hippies, I was fanning myself off in my suffocating tent, hallucinating that I was an insect egg, and waiting to feel normal again. I haven’t gotten the chance to see her again since. Luckily, she’ll be around for a while, but think of the people who may have had the same experience just 40 years ago and missed Jimi Hendrix because they were trippin’ out way too harsh. They’ll never get the chance to relive that experience.

GET READY FOR SASQUATCH! DOWNLOAD THESE: Pavement – Range Life Fool’s Gold - Poseidon

Those of us aged 18-29 seem to be much more open to the idea of interracial relationships than our parents generation. If you’re a regular reader of this column, you know I have no business writing anything, and I apologize. But you may also know that I am some sort of advocate for freedom of expression and choice when it comes to sex and everything that goes along with it. And of everything, if there’s only one thing that I couldn’t be more of an advocate for, it’s mixed relationships. I would say I’m a fan of exotic women, but for the simple fact that in a city like Vancouver, does the word exotic have any meaning? For example: How common is it now for a Caucasian family to sit down to a home cooked plate of green curry, and a family from Ghana to eat at an Italian restaurant? Sex is like food. No, wait, relationships are like food, and the more they mix, the better they taste. Yes, I said taste. It just so happens that the most well known places to

actively prohibit interracial marriage include Nazi Germany, South Africa during Apartheid, and the United States prior to the civil rights movement of the 1960s. It’s a hell of a jump to link people who frown on mixed relationships to the people who ran these overtly racist governments, but antimiscegenation laws as they’re called, have a dark history in the twentieth century. Luckily, we go to school in one of the most ethnically diverse schools in an already extremely diverse region of multicultural Canada. So if you have a flair for “geography,” shall we say, then you’re in luck at Kwantlen. But, where mixed relationships are a-okay biologically they might not be okay culturally. We all bring our own things to the table in any relationship, including biases, preferences and choices we’ve formed about sex and gender, as well as culture. But this is Canada. We can respect people’s choices whether they resist to mix, or whether they choose to embrace it, although I hope for the latter.

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