The Runner Vol 11, Issue 16

MAY 21, 2019 VOLUME 11, ISSUE 16 KPU’S STUDENT NEWSPAPER

Beyond Land Acknowledgements Indigenous people living in Metro Vancouver share how settlers can do more to decolonize the space they occupy

NEWS

KPU to Offer Mentorship Program for Former Youth in Care

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CULTURE

Brewing Program Takes First and Second Place in International Beer School Championship

OPINIONS › 06

Why Millennials Are Adopting Plants Instead of Babies

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

STAFF Editor in Chief

Aly Laube editor@runnermag.ca

Managing Editor

Connor Doyle managing@runnermag.ca

05 06

Associate Editor

Braden Klassen staff@runnermag.ca

Staff Writer

Cristian Hobson-Dimas writer@runnermag.ca

Production Manager

Sarah Kraft production@runnermag.ca

Graphics Editor

Kristen Frier graphics@runnermag.ca

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NEWS

KPU to Offer Mentorship Program for Former Youth in Care Of the 806 former youth in care who are using the tuition waivers in British Columbia, 25 of them are currently studying at KPU according to Laura Vail, Director of Student Success for the university.

CULTURE

Brewing Program Takes First and Second Place in International Beer School Championship Despite being the newest program in the competition, the KPU Brewing and Brewery Operations program took home two gold medals and a silver out of five possible categories at the U.S. Open College Beer Championship, and achieved the highest honours overall.

FEATURES

Beyond Land Acknowledgements Across Turtle Island, particularly in environments like post-secondary campuses, making territorial land acknowledgements has become increasingly common. Still, they have been widely criticized as hollow and ineffective as a standalone measure.

OPINIONS

Why Millennials Are Adopting Plants Instead of Babies Plants have become the substitute for raising children or pets because we can’t afford to take care of the little critters, and even if we could, we don’t have the space.

Web Manager

Alex Rodriguez web@runnermag.ca

Operations Manager Scott Boux office@runnermag.ca 778-565-3801

The Runner's Editor in Chief Election June 5, 2019 in Arbutus 3720 at 2:00 pm

Nominations open: May 8, 1:00 pm

To be eligible for The Runner's Editor in Chief position, or to vote in the election, KPU students must have been published in The Runner three times in the preceding 12 months. Ask the PIPS Operations Manager in Arbutus 3720 for a nomination package or for more information.

Nominations close: May 22, 1:00 pm

CONTRIBUTORS Lena Belova Thomas Buecking Fernando Cilento Chelsea Franz Marcus Jones Amei-lee Laboucan Nic Laube @RESLUS Kayci Roy

COVER BY Sarah Kraft Aly Laube

Arbutus 3710/3720 12666 72 Ave. Surrey, B.C, V3W 2M8 778-565-3801 www.runnermag.ca Vol. 11, Issue no. 16 May 21 // 2019 ISSN# 1916 8241

PIPS Annual General Meeting May 23, 2019 in Birch 250 from 1:00 - 2:30 pm

Board Nominations open: April 25, 1:00 pm

Ask the PIPS Operations Manager in Arbutus 3720 for a nomination package for a position on the PIPS Board or for more information.

Board Nominations close: May 16, 1:00 pm

Summer Semester 2019 Student Publication Fee opt-outs available in person from May 6 - 31

Hours: 10:00 am - 5:00 pm Monday to Friday

Student ID and proof of registration and payment are required

Phone: 778-565-3801

PIPS Office: Arbutus 3720, Surrey campus

Email: office@runnermag.ca

All submissions to The Runner are subject to editing for style, quality, length, and legality. The Runner will not publish material which the editors deem to be harmful or discriminatory. The views expressed within the publication are not necessarily those of The Runner staff or of the Polytechnic Ink Publishing Society.

The Runner is student-owned and operated by Kwantlen Polytechnic University students, published under the Polytechnic Ink Publishing Society. The Runner recognizes that our work, both in and out of the office, takes place on unceded Coast and Strait Salish territories, specifically the shared traditional territories of the Kwantlen, Katzie, Semiahmoo, Sto:lo and Tsawwassen First Nations. Our name is inspired by the hun’qumi’num meaning of Kwantlen, which is tireless hunters or tireless runners. Just as KPU is adaptable and changing, so is The Runner.

EDITORIAL

FROM THE EDITOR

Peek Into the High Risk, High Reward World of Student Entrepreneurship Aly Laube | Editor in Chief

The scariest and most profound moments of my life as a young professional have been when I’ve had to face myself and admit that I have no idea what I’m doing.

There are few feelings more heart-stopping than having your money, time, and pride on the line for a project you’re not sure is going to work out, but when you’re running your own business, that happens all the time. In fact, it happens when you might really, really not want it to.

Sometimes it happens when you’re in the middle of studying for five final exams in one week, or when commitments to another job are dominating your schedule. It might happen while you’re at an important family dinner, or spending quality time with your best friend or partner. Your responsibilities as a business person don’t skid to a halt just because it suits you, and as a student, that can be a lot to handle.

The panic you might feel during these moments comes hand in hand with the butterflies you’ll get when you realize you can make something beautiful happen. And if you’re giving it your all, you will make beautiful things happen. That’s the amazing part.

The only problem with getting to that point is that passion doesn’t always guarantee financial success, nor does it guarantee that you will meet the standards you’ve set for yourself. This is the sobering truth, despite what inspirational posters, underdog celebrities, and your parents may tell you.

Personally, when it comes to work, I have a tendency to jump into things headlong. The first time I got sent out as a reporter, it was backstage at Vancouver Fashion Week. I was 15 and way out of my league, but I did have the tools I needed: one voice recorder, a shitty camera, and an almost certainly obnoxious can-do attitude.

When I became the editor of this paper, I had never been in a position of editorial management before, and was horrified that I held the power to essentially make or break the publication.

PINT OF SCIENCE

Do you love suds and science? This event, featuring instructors from KPU's biology, chemistry, and physics departments, will allow you to grab a beer with some smart people. There will also be trivia and prizes!

Balancing work and school as a student entrepreneur is a worthwhile challenge. (Kristen Frier) When I launched an event production company—which earlier this month ran a two-day music festival called Glitter Ball—I was quaking in my boots. I had more of my own personal dollars invested in that event than I had ever sunk into a project, and therefore was running the risk of losing all of my savings in one go.

I thought about it every day and did everything I could to make it a success, but paying my dues at school and work at the same time was extremely taxing. It was hard—very hard, and I was forced to learn how to prioritize, apologize for my mistakes, and take a breather when necessary.

In the end, Glitter Ball was a relative success. We did okay financially, and since I’m a perfectionist, I started planning how we could improve on next year’s event as soon as this year’s ended.

Before I broke out my notepad, though, a wave of relief and happiness hit me. Ask anyone who has ever hit a major entrepreneurial milestone why they keep doing it, and it’s likely that they’ll cite that feeling as the reason.

Just like how there are few feelings scarier than risking it all, there are few feelings better than creating a company, event, or initiative all on your own. Materializing something that never would have existed without you feels like pulling off a magic trick without the smoke and mirrors. If you can do that, espe-

cially while also getting an education, then congratulations! You’re part of a tiny sliver of the population that can juggle a million things at once, persevere, and come out on the other side with something incredible to share.

One thing to keep in mind prior to rocketing yourself into the great unknown of entrepreneurship is that there’s always more to do than you think, and you’re probably going to be learning a lot on the fly.

For most of us, dealing with money is a huge learning curve, so familiarize yourself with Excel spreadsheets and get used to tracking your revenues and expenses. Keep your receipts. Get on your communications game and read as many press releases as you can before writing your own. Make sure your front end—meaning your website, social media, business cards, and potentially storefront— are looking classy and accessible, and don’t forget to keep your internal documents fresh.

That means writing policies, paying bills, answering phone calls and emails, and all that other nap-inducing but necessary stuff.

Most importantly, don’t forget to take your business hat off when you need to. Urgent matters might throw a wrench into your plans during your downtime, but at the end of the day your business is nothing without a strong leader behind it. Take good care of yourself and your team, and success will follow.

KPU Campuses Evacuated in Response to “Unsubstantiated Threat” Students attending all KPU campuses were asked to evacuate the premises on Wednesday, May 8 after the administration announced that they had been warned by the RCMP about an “unsubstantiated threat” directed towards the university.

At approximately 11:30 am, KPU security started to evacuate students, faculty, and staff from the campuses, asking people to leave all of their possessions behind for the sake of expediency.

KPU sent out a blanket email which notified students of the evacuation and said that the campus closures would last throughout the rest of the day.

Later on Wednesday, a follow-up email attributed to KPU President Alan Davis was issued, which explained the situation and updated the community on what was happening.

WHAT’S HAPPENING THIS MONTH

MAY 22

NEWS BRIEF Braden Klassen | Associate Editor

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“We were alerted by the RCMP about a threat that could not be substantiated, but out of an abundance of caution for the safety and security of our students and employees we took action that was appropriate to the situation,” read the statement. “After extensive searches of all campuses, the RCMP has now confirmed that all campuses have been cleared and that there is no threat to public safety.”

The RCMP issued a written statement online and to local media which said that they had received a report of a threat that involved the university, and that they worked to investigate and clear each individual campus. They received the information shortly after 9:00 am and contacted the university in order to conduct the evacuation.

“Officers attended all KPU locations and with the assistance of the Lower Mainland Integrated Police Dog Services, , [sic] Explosives Devices Unit, and the Metro Vancouver

Transit Police conducted thorough searches to ensure public safety,” the statement read.

“Police are confident that the areas are safe for the public and there is no imminent threat to safety.”

The RCMP did not allow students on the Richmond campus to access their vehicles as part of their protocol.

All campuses were re-opened on May 9, and KPU Security collected the belongings left behind by evacuees, which they organized and made available for people to pick up.

The email statement released by KPU included a section which said that counsellors would be available for students “who might feel uncomfortable about [the day’s] events,” and informed employees that they can contact the Employee and Family Assistance Provider, Homewood Health, if they want support.

6:00 pm - 9:00 pm,

KPU Langley Brew Lab, free.

MAY 24

THE RUNNER CONTRIBUTOR AWARDS Known affectionately as “The Runnies” (gross), once a year The Runner celebrates the contributors who make our publication possible by offering snacks, laughs, and the chance to win a fabulous trophy.

5:00 pm - 9:00 pm,

KPU Surrey Birch 250, free.

MAY 29 MOTHS, MONKEYS & MISSING LINKS

KPU instructor Dr. Farhad Dastur will be discussing 10 myths about evolution at this presentation which will also feature a set of interactive, hands-on activities and scientific demonstrations.

7:30 pm - 9:00 pm,

Science World, free.

MAY 30

PULP SUMMER LAUNCH PARTY

Pulp Magazine, KPU’s arts and literature publication, is celebrating the release of their 18th issue with a summer launch party! Find out everything you wanted to know about Pulp by attending this super cool event.

6:30 pm - 9:00 pm,

KPU Surrey Spruce Atrium, free.

MAY 31

RICHMOND BIKE TOUR

If you’re a KPU student, Active KSA wants to explore the city of Richmond with you on the back of a bicycle! So grab a friend, wear something athletic, get on your bikes, and ride!

1:00 pm - 3:00 pm,

KPU Richmond campus, free.

JUNE 3

INDIGENOUS PEOPLES' MONTH OPENING

Join KPU’s Elder in Residence, Lekeyten, and Indigenous Services for Students in opening the very first Indigenous Peoples' Month at KPU. Stay tuned for more events throughout the month.

12:00 pm - 1:00 pm,

KPU Surrey Gathering Place, free.

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NEWS

Nursing Now Considered a Profession with Presumed Mental Injury

WorkSafeBC policy changes allow nurses to more easily obtain worker’s compensation and treatment for ailments such as PTSD Cristian Hobson-Dimas | Staff Writer A recent article in the Star Vancouver explains that nurses in B.C. have been added to the list of occupations with a “presumption of workplace mental injury.” This means that they will more easily be able to access services and compensation for post-traumatic stress disorder and other ailments they sustain while at work.

Christine Sorensen, President of the B.C. Nurses Union, says that on a day-to-day basis, nursing “is a mentally demanding profession because of what [nurses are] exposed to.” Witnessing human suffering as well as occasionally being the target of verbal and physical violence can make them “victims of their own profession.”

“More and more nurses have been coming to us and saying they are experiencing symptoms of PTSD,” Sorensen explains. “We have been lobbying that the provincial government and the Minister of Labour should recognize nurses under the PTSD presumptive legislation.”

The long process of filing their claims and repeatedly reliving traumatic experiences can make nurses’ symptoms worse, according to Sorensen.

As written in the Star, Minister of Labour Harry Bains announced a policy last year which aimed to help first responders, sheriffs, and correctional officers file for workers compensation through WorkSafeBC “without having to prove their mental injury was work-re-

lated.” Though the policy did not originally include nurses, they have since been added into the legislation.

While nurses are not usually considered first responders, Sorensen says that they are often the first to deal with medical situations that leave them “burning out and suffering.”

By making sure that they have access to mental health resources of their own, they can “process and heal and return to the profession that they love.”

Upon learning about the policies put in place last month, Alisha Sian, an apprentice psychiatric nurse finishing her degree at KPU, was relieved.

“If you’re taking care of four or five patients … and one of them passes away, you have to call housekeeping, clean the bed, bag the body, and get ready for a new admission. That’s a lot in an hour,” she says. “I think with something as traumatic as what nurses experience day to day, we need that special care.”

Sian recalls doing her first preceptorship on a unit for acute elderly care, which, as she explains, came with its own set of mentally taxing hardships.

“I think as a student, I’ve probably seen the most death out of my whole cohort,” she says.

“From my second semester until now, I’ve personally had to bag four bodies.”

One experience sticks with her more vividly than the rest.

“I came onto a shift one morning and I was

partnered with a primary nurse. He’d noticed that one of the patient’s breathing had gotten very shallow,” she explains. “It was my duty to stay by the bedside, check for breathing, and feel for her pulse while my [primary] nurse was out making calls to the doctor.”

Minutes stretched on as Sian held the motionless patient’s hand.

“Sometimes you’ll feel their pulse, but something happens where you’ll just want to feel it so badly that you’re really just feeling your own pulse instead,” she says. “And then I noticed she stopped breathing. Her last breath gave out. I was the only person in the room.

They probably wanted their family there, but it was just me.”

Although some hospitals run mindfulness and self-care workshops for nurses, Sian says she has “not come across anything formally” in terms of rehabilitation services available to them, adding that they are often left to care for themselves.

As for future improvements, Sorenson says that the B.C. Nurses Union intends on providing “a support system for nurses who are exposed to trauma,” as well as “opportunities for nurses to get counselling.”

“It’s our intention to create safe workplaces for nurses and other health care workers,” Sorenson says. “But at least now, nurses who get injured are able to get an approval through WorkSafe without having to relive their trauma.”

(Thomas Buecking)

Metro Vancouver Seeks Long-Term Transit Investment from Ottawa

The proposal recommends an annual investment of $375 million for a Congestion Relief Fund beginning in 2028

Braden Klassen | Associate Editor Representatives from the Mayors’ Council on Regional Transportation gathered with federal party members and leaders to discuss securing government funding for transit expansion projects in Ottawa earlier this month.

As part of “Transit Day on the Hill”, the Mayors’ Council representatives met with members from all parties—including NDP leader Jagmeet Singh and Green Party leader Elizabeth May—to ask whether parties would support adopting the plan, which asks for a $375 million annual investment in regional transit starting in 2028. The investment, called The Congestion Relief Fund, would support public transit developments that the council says will benefit communities, local economies, the environment, and public health across the Metro Vancouver area.

“We thought it was a really critical time to have those conversations, because all of the parties are looking forward to the coming federal election and they are all in the process of developing their platforms. So for us it was an ideal time to be connecting with all of the major parties,” says Jonathan X. Cote, Mayor of New Westminster and Chair of the Mayors’ Council on Regional Transportation. “We’re recognizing that, even just to keep up with the demand of the public transit services, we need to push the envelope even further.”

Cities are already working with TransLink on the 10-Year Vision for expanding transit services, which consists of three phases of project development such as increasing bus service, improving cycling services, upgrading roads, and expanding SkyTrain lines in Vancouver, Surrey, and Langley.

“There is a third and final phase that is not yet totally funded, but we in the region recognize that [developing] transportation infrastructure doesn’t end after the 10-year plan,” says Cote. “We need to get away from attaching federal funding to one individual project at a time, and get to a more stable predictable source of funding that allows us to allocate that funding and properly prioritize with a more long-range planning perspective.”

“If we had that predictable source of funding, we could look at all of the projects in phase 3 and beyond, and as a region, collectively start prioritizing and implementing all of those projects,” he adds.

Michelle Lam, the MultiPass Coordinator for the Kwantlen Student Association, was approached in March to provide feedback for the platform, which she says she supports. “[KPU is] a commuter school, and we have campuses around the suburbs of Vancouver in Richmond, Surrey, Langley, and Cloverdale, so I think it’s very important to make more connections between the city centre downtown to the suburb areas,” says Lam. “We are seeing

KSA MultiPass Coordinator Michelle Lam has voiced support for the Cure Congestion Federal Election Platform. (Braden Klassen) more demand in those areas, more students are commuting to work and to school, so they have to be aware of this issue.”

Lam also wants to draw attention to an ongoing TransLink survey called Transport 2050. She encourages students to take part in it and to share their thoughts and ideas about Metro Vancouver’s transit system.

“If we have a more affordable TransLink system, we can get people out of their cars and reduce the amount of single-occupancy-vehicles on the roads,” she says. “That’s how we can cure the congestion problem while at the same time reducing CO2 emissions.”

The Cure Congestion Campaign asked federal parties to take a stance on supporting the plan through a questionnaire, the results of which they are intending to publish before the federal election so that people can be informed about where the parties stand on the issue.

“The goal of the Cure Congestion Campaign is not to be a partisan campaign,” says Cote.

“It’s really to elevate all of the parties’ understanding about the importance of investing in public transit in cities like Metro Vancouver, and also getting them to give some clear thought into what commitments should they be making there.”

NEWS

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Provincial Health Officer Calls for Decriminalization of Drug Possession A report from Dr. Bonnie Henry says decriminalization would help combat accelerating death tolls in British Columbia Cristian Hobson-Dimas | Staff Writer A report published by the Provincial Health Officer entitled Stopping the Harm: Decriminalization of People who Use Drugs in B.C. calls for the possession of illicit drugs to be decriminalized in British Columbia.

The report, which was released on April 24, offers a comprehensive argument for how decriminalization is likely to benefit public health in the province.

“Despite sustained efforts in B.C. to resolve the overdose crisis, and the declaration of a public health emergency, there has been minimal success in stopping the rising death toll since the crisis started,” reads the report. “Alternative solutions are warranted immediately.”

The report repeatedly expresses how “the ‘war on drugs’ has been recognized as a failure at a global level," and that “British Columbia cannot ‘treat’ its way out of this overdose crisis, or ‘arrest’ its way out either.”

“This is a public health crisis, and we should not be treating it like a law enforcement issue anymore,” says Stephanie Lake, a UBC graduate student studying public health. She is the outgoing president of Canadian Students for Sensible Drug Policy, a grassroots youth organization working to promote sensible drug policies and drug education.

“Some major misconceptions that we often hear conflate decriminalization with legalization,” says Lake. “[Decriminalization] mainly involves removing the criminal element that comes with possessing a drug, and moves it

into the jurisdiction of public health.”

Lake calls the release of Stopping the Harm extremely encouraging, and says that the report shows that the top health officials in the province understand that issues surrounding drugs can only be addressed “through removing the criminal element associated with possession.”

Decriminalization, the report says, would effectively “restructure” the police approach to small possession by connecting possessors to health and social services instead of arresting them or ignoring them completely.

“A lot of cops are basically being told to look the other way when it comes to drug possession,” says Koushal Charan, a KPU Criminology student studying law enforcement surrounding drug abuse.

Charan explains how he has learned that, in recent years, many officers have been unofficially instructed to ignore drug users unless they become violent.

“There are so many people using, they just don’t have the resources to keep up,” Charan explains.

Stopping the Harm details a case study done in Portugal—a country that adopted a decriminalized approach to drug possession for personal use in 2001—which could serve as a potential model for application in B.C. Evidence has shown that the Portugese drug policy model, along with other interventions such as harm reduction, prevention, enforcement, and treatment strategies, has led to “an increase in treatment uptake, a reduction

Provincial Health Officer Dr. Bonnie Henry released her report Stopping the Harm: Decriminalization of People Who Use Drugs in B.C. as part of an effort to mitigate the provincial overdose crisis. (Flickr/ Province of British Columbia) in drug-related deaths, and importantly, no increase in drug use rates,” the report says.

Small possession for personal use was changed from a criminal offence with a potential jail sentence to an administrative one.

This can range from warnings, fines, or bans on associating with specific people or visiting certain places to removing the right to carry a firearm and suspending the right to practice licensed professions that have the potential to endanger other people. Criminal penalties are still applicable to illegal drug manufacturers, dealers, and traffickers.

“We in Canada know that our drug laws are unjustly enforced,” Lake says, citing the

fact that drug laws disproportionately affect minorities and marginalized groups who are “already contending with a whole host of social and structural vulnerabilities.”

Decriminalization would, according to Lake, help to “destigmatize substance use,” which is a “major barrier” that drug users experience when it comes to trying to access employment, housing, and the health care system.

“Unfortunately, what we are seeing now is a failure for our government to act,” says Lake. “They’re being political when it comes to [decriminalization], but unfortunately we’re losing people to this crisis. Lives are on the line.”

Kwantlen Polytechnic University to Offer Mentorship Program for Former Youth in Care

Students using the provincial tuition waiver program for former youth in care will soon be able to get to know each other through a new initiative at KPU

Amei-lee Laboucan | Contributor Kwantlen Polytechnic University is taking steps to bring together former youth in care who make use of the provincial tuition waiver program.

Of the 806 former youth in care who are using the waivers in British Columbia, 25 of them are currently studying at KPU according to Laura Vail, Director of Student Success for the university.

Last year, Vail told The Runner that KPU is excited to see students accessing the program and encourages anyone interested in using it to talk to the university’s counsellors and advisors.

“The provincial support these students are getting is so incredibly important to providing access to such a wide range of students who might not have had an opportunity otherwise to attend post-secondary institutions,” she said.

KPU English student Olivia Anderson says she is “not confident that [she] would actually be in university if there wasn’t a tuition waiver.”

If the financial barriers to taking post-secondary classes had not been removed for her, Anderson believes her capability to do well in school would decline.

“I would be working a lot in order to make

that money and I wouldn’t really be able to focus on school and do well,” she says.

Vail says that KPU has brought students who make use of the tuition waivers together to meet each other in the past. However, with how quickly the waiver program grew, the university was not able to continue to provide such support. Now KPU is getting ready to help unite that community again using a mentorship program between faculty and former youth in care.

“We’re gearing up to do better [for former foster kids] because tuition is a very small part [of university], and giving them a sense of belonging, a sense of support, having somebody to go [to is what KPU is focused on],” says Vail.

While obtaining her Bachelor’s degree in English with a minor in political science, Anderson says that she has felt isolated at times as a former youth in care.

“You need someone there to be interested in asking the right questions,” she says. “It might help to have support from professors.”

During the fall semester last year, Anderson was experiencing a stressful family situation.

This is the sort of problem that she believes the mentorship program will be able to help former youth in care navigate while still

Laura Vail, KPU Director of Student Success, is helping the university launch a pilot mentorship program for former youth in care this fall. (Amei-lee Laboucan) attending class.

“Having the relief of knowing this is okay, this is just your situation and [professors] understand, that makes all the difference,” she says.

Right now, Anderson doesn’t know any of the other students who are former youth in care accessing tuition waivers at KPU. She says that getting to know them would provide her with a greater sense of belonging.

“If I’m talking to someone and they have a struggle I’ve faced and overcome, then I can

help [them] with that,” she explains.

KPU plans on rolling out the pilot project— which is the brainchild of journalism professor Tracy Sherlock—during the fall 2019 semester.

Anderson has received an email inviting her to a meet and greet with other former youth in care at KPU, which she plans to attend.

“Seeing other people from your community succeed is empowering, enheartening, and productive,” she says.

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CULTURE

KPU Brewing Program Takes First and Second Place in International Beer School Championship The program is making its mark on the international competitive stage Cristian Hobson-Dimas | Staff Writer Although there may be nothing quite as satisfying as cracking open a cold one with the boys, winning an international championship with your pals might come as a close second.

Despite being the newest program in the competition, the KPU Brewing and Brewery Operations program took home two gold medals and a silver out of five possible categories at the U.S. Open College Beer Championship, and achieved the highest honours overall.

“It was great to win for B.C. and for Canada,” says Alex Egi, program chair and brewing manager for the KPU team. Out of the 14 schools in the competition, KPU was only one of two institutions representing Canada, alongside Ontario’s Niagara College.

According to Egi, winning the Beer School Championship “not only shows that students in the program are working really hard, but reinforces the fact that we are providing students with a high-quality education.”

He adds that KPU is the only Canadian school recognized by the Master Brewers Association of the Americas for excellence in teaching. This is particularly impressive when you consider that the brewery has only been in operation for less than four years, and took second place in 2017 with its first submissions to the College Beer Championship.

Egi explains that there is a balance of artistry and science that goes into brewing craft beer.

“I definitely would put more emphasis on

science,” he says. “To be a professional brewer, you have to understand the chemistry and microbiology. You have to understand how the machinery works, so there’s even an engineering aspect. But with all that, creativity is still important. You still have to be inventive.”

The five competition categories in the U.S. Open College Beer Championship were Belgian, Bavarian, India Pale Ale, Stout, and an open category for suds of any style. Certified beer judges evaluated the beers based on attributes such as aroma, appearance, colour, foam, carbonation, flavour, mouthfeel, and overall impression.

“There was no category for North England IPA, so that’s one we needed to submit to the open category, but it’s also one of the beers that won us a gold medal,” Egi says, referring to “Fruity and the Yeast”, which was brewed by second-year students Wes Bain and Daryl McDonald.

Kyle Grohs and Joe Mallison’s “50/50 Hefe” won the gold medal in the Bavarian category, while the silver medal for “Storm Stout” was won by Danilo Chiga and Felipe Freire. Each of the winning students are in their second year of the program.

Although members of the KPU community may be disappointed that these winning brews have long since been sold out, nearly identical styles are being brewed twice weekly as part of the brewing program’s practical brewing course, with only minor “tweaks” in the recipe and brewing formula to maximize

The KPU Brewing and Brewery Operations program took home two gold medals and a silver out of five possible categories at the U.S. Open College Beer Championship. (Flickr/ Kwantlen Polytechnic University) taste and quality.

Egi maintains that, at only 200 litres in capacity, the KPU brewery is not designed for making profits on beer volume, but for teaching and education.

“Sales are mostly to promote the program and to showcase what we’re doing,” he says.

Egi is keen to extend an invitation to anyone curious about either the program or the product.

“We offer free tours on Fridays as well as free samples,” he says. “Remember to bring a growler in case you try something you like.”

Mise-en-Scène Celebrates its Third Anniversary The KPU film studies academic journal is open-access, peer-reviewed, and available online Kristen Frier | Graphics Editor Mise-en-Scène, a peer-reviewed film studies journal founded and edited by Kwantlen Polytechnic University English instructor Greg Chan, has been publishing bi-annually for three years now. Since its conception in 2015 and the release of its first issue in 2016, Miseen-Scène has engaged film buffs from all over the globe, accepting contributions from as farranged places as Italy and North Africa.

“We’re still growing,” says Chan. “We’re just pleased to be moving into our fourth year and getting people published.”

He’s particularly looking forward to publishing the work of students, including those from KPU, and hopes that the journal will allow many of them to see their work published for the first time. This can be an asset for those who aspire to write film analyses or reviews at a professional level once they’ve graduated, he explains.

The journal was inspired by a project wherein Chan and a small group of fourth-year film studies students guest edited an issue of Film Matters, a North Carolina-based publication.

Afterwards, Chan took a year-long sabbatical to research online journal systems.

The platform that Mise-en-Scène is published through now runs out of Simon Fraser University.

“What I love about that system is that it’s

completely free,” says Chan. Although some academic journals charge a submission fee for articles to be considered, Chan says he “wanted none of that.”

With the exception of a small print batch, which is available to be viewed at the KPU libraries, the publication is only viewable online. It takes about one minute to create a free profile on the website to get unlimited access to all issues of Mise-en-Scène.

Chan describes the process of putting together each issue as “very slow [and] detail-oriented.” A single manuscript passes through the hands of two reviewers and a copy editor before being sent back to the author, then to a layout team for formatting, then to proofreaders, and finally back to the editor-in-chief. After all that, the manuscript is sent back to the original author so that they have the opportunity to record an audio file of them reading the piece for the sake of accessibility if they so choose.

“It’s a big commitment on the authors’ side too,” says Chan. “When they submit, they have to be committed to a very in-depth process of getting feedback, [then] looking at some of the finer details of the layout.”

Student interns are also a crucial part of the team that puts Mise-en-Scène together. Sanjay Aujla, a KPU student and philosophy major, became interested in the journal after taking one of Chan’s classes on film and how it applies

Greg Chan is a KPU instructor in the English department and the Editor-in-Chief of Mise-en-Scène. (Kristen Frier) to literary arts. Aujla mostly takes still frames from motion pictures and hunts down the timestamp as part of his job with the journal.

“There are a lot of days where I’m just eating dinner and watching films looking for a small frame of like, one second in the entire movie,” says Aujla. “It’s very holistic work which works really well with my schedule.”

Students who would be interested in con-

tributing to the journal can submit their work to Mise-en-Scène, apply to be a student intern, or participate in on-campus film events such as KDocs, of which Chan is co-director.

“I’m always on the lookout for student interns, so if you have an interest in film studies or media studies you can definitely come see me,” says Chan. “There are lots of positions available.”

CULTURE

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Verses Festival of Words Invites Poetry Lovers to Experience the Boundlessness of Storytelling The 10-day festival brought together poets and poetry appreciators from all across Canada Chelsea Franz | Contributor Verses Festival of Words is an annual poetry festival that just completed its ninth year of celebrating Canada’s slam poetry scene. The 10-day event ran from April 25 to May 4 and was held in multiple locations around Vancouver, mainly along Commercial Drive.

The festival kicked off with Hullabaloo, the youth poetry slam. Teams from all over the Lower Mainland and Vancouver Island showed up to compete and, in the end, A Bundle of Carbon Atoms took home the trophy.

Verses Festival offered many workshops on topics ranging from decolonizing the arts to how to work with loop pedals. It also featured different performance events, including everything from nerdy poetry to the launch of Write Bloody North, a new Canadian press.

The main event was the Canadian Individual Poetry Slam, where poets from all over Canada came to either represent their regular slam (after qualifying and winning the position) or to “storm” the lineup and fill the remaining slots.

KPU’s very own slam team, Slamapalooza, was represented by Mariah Negrillo-Soor, also known as Marz. Marz considers herself a “baby poet”, compared to some of her opponents who have been in the slam poetry world for longer. Her introduction to the scene was in October, when she filled Slamapalooza’s last-minute vacancy for its Canadian Festival

of Spoken Word team.

Since then, she has grown tremendously as both poet and performer and says that she is just happy she got to “perform work [she’s] super proud of” at Verses.

From the outside, the poetry world can sometimes seem like a tight-knit group that is hard to infiltrate. Still, as Verses volunteer coordinator Anjalica Soloman notes, the “people who are [on stage] are sharing their most vulnerable heart.”

“It’s a group of people creating a safe environment to listen and to share stories,” she says. “Once you’re a part of it you see how intimate the community really is because we all share such close details of our lives with each other. We show up for each other, not just in performances but in the real world, we show up for each other emotionally.”

Johnny MacRae, the artistic director of both the Verses Festival and the Vancouver Poetry House, points out that the poetry community is “just generally an anxious [one], so people might seem like they’re in and they’re not going to let you in, but the reality is that even very established people are just as nervous and shy as you are, even if they don’t seem like it.”

The best way to break the ice, he says, is to get on stage and share your work. Once people are able to approach you about how they enjoyed your words, other conversations come more naturally.

Mariah Negrillo-Soor, KPU's Canadian individual Poetry Slam representative and active member in the slam poetry community, took part in the Verses Festival of Words. (Kayci Roy) MacRae adds that the purpose of the festival is “to expand the boundaries of how we perceive poetry.”

“Verses offers an opportunity for there to be this vast crossover of mediums that blows up those definitions,” he says.

Interested in poetry? Check out Slamapalooza on June 20 at 7:00 pm in Birch 250 ft. Ainslie Glass (free) or the Vancouver Poetry Slam every Monday at 8:00 pm at Cafe Deux Soleils ($6-10 sliding scale).

Martial Arts School Hosts Self-Defense Classes for Members of the LGBTQ+ Community

Instructors at the Valkyrie Western Martial Arts Academy are committed to teaching people of all gender and sexual identities to defend themselves

Fernando Cilento | Contributor A study released by the Canadian Human Rights Commission in 2015 shows that 70 per cent of trans youth aged 19 to 25 in Canada claim to have experienced discrimination because of their gender identity. On a global scale, statistics from The Trans Murder Monitoring Project from 2015 and 2016 show that the murders of 295 trans and gender diverse people were reported during that time.

This gruesome truth not only justifies the work of the Vancouver-based Valkyrie Western Martial Arts Academy, but also makes them stand out for members of the LGBTQ+ community who are hoping to learn how to defend themselves.

“Our priority when we started building the school was to do the opposite of what everyone else did when we were learning,” says Kaja Sadowski, a seasoned martial arts instructor who is responsible for administering the self-defense program in 2012. “We wanted to make sure that the space was welcoming and inclusive, and people from any background would feel good.”

Though she trained in other gyms before joining the Valkyrie team, Sadowski says she was discontent with the way the classes were being taught there.

“The instructors subjected the students to repeat their movements without taking into

consideration the physiological differences of different bodies,” she explains. “It is judging people by standards [which] aren’t exactly fair. Although that wasn’t necessarily explicit in the school, all the people who succeed were those who look and learn pretty much the same way as the instructors.”

Fellow Valkyrie instructor Courtney Rice felt the same way about how classes ought to be taught, so they both sought to create a space that was safe for members of the LGBTQ+ community as well as those who have disabilities. Located at 2603 Kingsway Avenue, just a 10-minute walk from 29th Avenue SkyTrain Station, Valkyrie WMAA was founded in 2012 by Rice and David Packer.

The school runs nine classes per week, covering subjects from historical swordplay to striking and grappling arts and stage combat. Workshops, drop-ins, private lessons, and external self-defense presentations are also held through WMAA. “Queer and transgender people especially rely on word of mouth in regards to who is safe and who is trustworthy,” says Sadowski. “The biggest measure of success for me is when people walk into the door of our school and say that they wouldn’t set foot anywhere else.

That is because someone in their networks who [earned] their trust told them that we’re safe.”

Sadowski describes herself as a queer, cis-

Self-defense instructor Kaja Sadowski at the Vancouver-based Valkyrie Western Martial Arts Academy. (Fernando Cilento) gender woman, but recognizes that about 10 per cent of the school’s active student population are either trans or non-binary.

“At some events, especially women's only workshops—which are also open to non-binary students—and Big Gay Sword Day, trans and non-binary students make up 25 to 30 per cent of attendees,” she explains.

Sadowski says that the best part of her job is seeing her students “getting a better sense of control over their own history [and] their own traumas” while taking lessons.

“From my perspective, learning self-defense is a tool that provides you with a set of options which allows you to affect and control the world around. That tool can be used in positive or negative ways, but the tool itself is pretty neutral,” she says. “Self-defense isn’t just about physical skills. It’s about understanding how you would solve certain kinds of problems, whether that’s interpersonal conflict if someone is harassing you on the street [or if it’s] workplace conflict and being prepared to decide what's the best way to proceed for each situation.”

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FEATURES

Beyond Land Acknowledgements Indigenous people living in Metro Vancouver share how settlers can do more to decolonize the space they occupy Aly Laube | Editor in Chief

Our campuses reside on unceded land belonging to the Kwantlen, Musqueam, Katzie, Semiahmoo, Tsawwassen, Qayqayt, and Kwikwetlem peoples. If you’ve heard these or similar words spoken aloud on campus, you have already heard a land acknowledgement made at KPU. Across Turtle Island, particularly in environments like post-secondary campuses, making territorial land acknowledgements

has become increasingly common. Still, they have already been widely criticized as hollow and ineffective as a standalone measure. The purpose of these often pre-written statements has been questioned by those who feel that they lack thoroughness and sincerity, leaving some Indigenous people from Metro Vancouver and beyond calling for more effort from settlers in furthering decolonization efforts.

Decolonization aims to integrate Indige-

nous law, traditions, and culture into everyday life and infrastructure. Rather than viewing the world through a eurocentric or settler-informed lens, decolonization uses an Indigenous way of seeing to interpret both the present and the past, including reconsidering how historical accounts have been influenced, destroyed, and recorded.

The Runner asked Indigenous folks living in Metro Vancouver how settlers can do more to

decolonize the spaces they occupy, whether as event organizers or attendees. Here is what they had to say.

The interviewees quoted below in no way represent the views of their nation as a whole, nor do they represent any organization they are affiliated with in their personal or professional lives. These interviews were edited for length and clarity.

Samantha Jack Nuu chah nulth nation and Sto:lo nation Student host and mentor at KPU and head of Indigenous Student Council “I find it strange when somebody asks me to do a territorial acknowledgement because these are my ancestral lands. This is my family’s land.

It has been in my family for generations, so I feel weird when they ask me to do a territorial acknowledgement. For me, it’s a welcoming on to my land. It’s welcoming others, saying, ‘You’re on my land and I’d like you to respect that.’ The word ‘acknowledgement’ itself I think is contrary. It’s hollow. It has no lingering effects. Everything is rehearsed, written down.

It has no genuine human emotion to it. It’s just something that is expected of us to say at the opening of events because we take our name from an Indigenous community.

The proper protocol here if you want to come onto these lands is you seek permission first

from the nations, which, obviously if they have a relationship with Kwantlen, they’ve already done. But seeking out Indigenous knowledge or Indigenous culture, that’s something that I think they should ask permission for.

In traditional protocol here, we state our name, where we’re from which honours our family, and we state our intentions. My intentions at Kwantlen would be to educate on Indigenous importance, culture, sensitivity, and further relationships between Indigenous students, non-Indigenous students, the institution, staff, and faculty. That’s the way that I practice Indigenous governance, by stating where I’m from and honouring my family and my connection to where I’m from.”

Alexander Grayson Brandt Stark Métis nation Student host and mentor at KPU and Indigenous Student Council member “In many Indigenous nations in Canada, there’s this idea that if you go to someone else’s territory, you have to learn what their protocol is and follow that. What is your role as a visitor in that territory? If that is known, then that is what should be front and centre, not necessarily a territorial acknowledgement, because by following those protocols you’re already respecting that you’re on someone else’s territory. Of course, the problem with that in our current context is that you actually have to have a relationship with those nations. The university as a whole has a lot of work to do in developing those relationships

to knowing what would be the proper protocol for their position.

If you’re a person in the position of organizing events, you have to be open to the fact that that means that the nation you have a contact with might want to have a more active role in the [event] and sometimes that doesn’t fit into the nice structure [ of considering] the clock and all the agenda items. There’s a lot of resistance to letting go of that on a university and administrative level, and capitalism reinforces a very linear way of thinking, so that’s something every person has to work on if they’re not used to different perspectives.

A decolonization practice that anyone can do is really trying to understand their family history and what land they actually come from, because that sets you up to understand more clearly what your relationship to this land is yourself. Are you a visitor?

Are you part of that territory? Are you a settler? Maybe you’re a bunch of those because you’re mixed and you come from different family. It’s a way of reminding you … [that] if you have settler ancestors, you and your ancestors have benefitted from the displacement of Indigenous peoples.”

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Melinda Kachina Bige Cree and Dené from Lutsel K'e Mother of Piyesis, Wife of Brandon Gabriel, Daughter of Jenni Bige & Tom Bige and the total destruction of the land. In order to understand that, you have to start seeing things not just from a monolithic perspective but a communal perspective.

Instead of just acknowledging the land and taking a superficial approach to truth and reconciliation, Indigenization, decolonization, or whatever words you would like to use to describe that, make sure it’s authentic, because it also has to do with an understanding of what it means to have knowledge.

Who carries it and when is it important? Is it important when it has a Bachelor’s degree behind it, or a Master’s degree behind it, or a PhD behind it, or when it’s legitimized by a state that has continued genocide upon peo-

“I think when we’re looking at creating a relationship and we’re looking at confronting the past, what has gone on and continues to go on on these unceded lands, it should be more in-depth than simply mechanisms [like land acknowledgements]. People who are organizing events—if they don’t have a relationship with the people from the lands, they should rethink about organizing, period. That’s how deep it should go. When folks are looking to bring understanding regarding decolonization and indigenization, there needs to be an authentic relationship with the communities who live on this territory. Case in point, even Indigenous people who live here who aren’t from this territory benefit from colonization

ple for their benefit and all of society’s benefit? Or is it important and intelligent knowledge when it comes to the land and thousands of years of observation and thousands of years of connection?

Having conversations around things to do with genocide isn’t going to be easy, and there’s a lot of pain there on both sides. Making space for people who have experienced such degradation involves being able to deal with your own hurt feelings as well, your own discomfort and moving through that, because you’re only going to treat someone with the same respect you treat yourself with.”

Brody Halfe Qayqayt nation Grandson of Chief Rhonda Larrabee “I do a lot of welcomings to my traditional territory and I do a lot of land acknowledgements, and I try to, in a respectful way, honour our ancestors who have been forgotten, but a lot of times it feels like you’re dancing for white folks who aren’t truly respecting your culture.

They’re more so patting themselves on the back for listening.

I don’t feel necessarily respected when somebody quickly rushes through the, ‘We would like to acknowledge that we’re on the traditional unceded territory’ type spiel, but I do know certain people who make an effort to be a part of the community and to help the Indigenous community who are white, but because of the effort they put in on their own time and don’t necessarily shove it in your face or brag about it, it makes it a lot more respectful, and I believe that they’re coming from a sincere place.

I think it’s okay to ask for help, but don’t be

offended or upset if Indigenous people don’t have the time to teach you, because it’s a very small percentage of the population now living here who have been asked by nearly everybody to explain protocol and how to be respectful.

We don’t always have the time to try to teach every single person around us.

Having given land acknowledgements for honorariums, [I think that it is] beneficial to our community, but it also feels like a form of performance art that doesn’t always feel clean and completely respectful. I think they have good intentions by offering honorariums, but I think for an organization to truly respect the culture, they should integrate people or protocol from the territory they’re trying to respect into their programming if possible … [and ask] the relevant groups what they would like out of your project, if there’s anything they can gain as well as you so that it’s a mutually beneficial relationship.”

Luke Thomas Tsleil-Waututh nation

The Gathering Place on KPU’s Surrey campus regularly hosts public events, and the Kwantlen Student Association’s Indigenous Representative, Sarah Strachan, can be reached

“If you want to be respectful, you should learn enough to know whose territory you’re actually in, and if you can’t get them to do an opening welcoming for you, at least get permission from them and ask them if there’s anything they would like you to include in your welcoming.

Obviously, if you [make land acknowledgements] in a respectful way, it’s better, but even

the ones that feel hollow and are just reciting words that they were taught, it’s better than not doing it at all because people still hear you, right?

If you’re not from Tsleil-Waututh and you’re on Tsleil-Waututh territory, no matter where you’re from, you’re a settler or an invader.

There are always people coming to Tsleil-Waututh territory for whatever kind of work, wheth-

er it’s spiritual or business in our territory, and they don’t acknowledge us at all. They don’t even know who we are or where they are.

"The only way they’re going to be brought in and taught is in a respectful way. There are some things they will be taught and some things they won’t be. It all depends on how you approach people.”

at indigenous@kusa.ca. To arrange a meeting with KPU’s Elder in Residence, Lekeyten, fill out the “Elder in Residence Request Form” available on the university’s website.

Discovering whose land you live, work, and study on can be accomplished through independent research online. One particularly helpful resource for those who are just

beginning to learn, although not entirely comprehensive or universally accepted, is the interactive territorial map available at https://native-land.ca/.

10 FEATURES

More Trees in Surrey Campus Forest at Risk of Getting the Axe Though KPU Facilities Services says some remaining trees pose a safety hazard, its risk assessment reports have not yet been made publicly accessible Cristian Hobson-Dimas | Staff Writer

Despite the fact that nearly 70 trees in KPU’s Surrey campus forest were taken down last year, Director of Facilities Service Andrew Chisholm says that permits for more tree removals will likely need to be obtained.

For every tree removed on KPU property, a risk assessment report needs to be completed. This document details each tree’s individual health, the risk of it falling down, and the amount of damage it can cause if it does fall. Facilities Services has chosen not to make these documents available to students and faculty.

the accuracy of the risk assessment reports. began, Thorpe says that the forest is no longer “When I look at these trees, when I look at an “accessible space.” the intact wood, I don’t see risk,” she says.

“If they decide to keep it, they need to be Though she agrees that some of the trees more cognizant of actually taking good care should be cut down, Cunnin argues that by of it,” he adds. removing as many as they already have, the university missed “an opportunity to mainAssessing the Risk tain [the trees] as a wildlife resource.”

According to her, by cutting down major According to Chisholm, the trees need to be sections of the forest, the university is simply felled for “safety reasons.” He says that, due doing “damage control” on a “valuable rem- to the declining health of the forest, several nant of nature” which she believes KPU has unhealthy or dying trees are “probably within neglected to properly maintain. She calls the striking range of the building.”

Surrey campus forest a “precious jewel,” parIn consideration of “all of the pedestrians The Value of the Forest ticularly because of its “value to the Kwantlen walking near the forest through the parking First Nation” and to the university communi- lot,” Chisholm worries that “someone could KPU Horticulture instructor Betty Cunnin, ty as a whole. get killed.” He adds that the forest is also a fire who is a member of a newly-formed commitFormer President of the Kwantlen Student liability, and that a year of drought has left the tee dedicated to limiting further damage to Association Joseph Thorpe also believes that trees dry and combustible. the Surrey campus forest, has made several KPU should be more diligent about preserving Cunnin, however, states that Facilities Serrequests to see the risk assessments, but was its natural resources. vices has “opened up the canopy” by cutting deferred first to the university’s Provost and “There’s nothing around KPU that’s down so many trees. This lets in sunlight that later to Jon Harding, VP Finance. She says that nature-related anymore,” he says. “Soon the Surrey campus forest naturally limits, and Harding then told Cunnin’s dean to instruct enough, it’s going to be another urban space “only serves to dry out the soil quicker,” which her to “stop asking to see the report.” with only flat surfaces and concrete.” can lead to more rapid drought and turn the More recently, Cunnin has been told to “sit Thorpe, who is Métis and Cree and sits forest into a more significant fire hazard. tight,” and that the reports may be released to on KPU’s Indigenous Student Council, is Chisholm maintains that the forest’s rapid the entire KPU community in the near future. a proponent of the psychological benefits decline in health, which has occurred with“With only verbal confirmation to go off of, that the forest provides for students, as well in the last 12 months or so, prevented his it’s hard to stay patient,” she says. “I think as the cultural potential of the forest to be department from saving the trees. they just hope I’ll drop the whole issue.” used “for ceremonial purposes on actual Though The Runner’s access to the risk As a qualified though non-practicing tree Kwantlen lands.” assessment reports has been limited to a risk assessor, Cunnin expresses doubt about However, since the removal of the trees “quick overview” under Chisholm’s supervision, the documents reveal some important details.

According to Chisholm, facilities services needed permits to cut down 30 larger trees last year, while 40 smaller additional trees didn’t require permits to be removed. He explains that these smaller trees were cut down to gain access to the larger trees.

Some of the trees were reported to be completely dead, while others appeared to be 30 per cent dead or less. Some posed a high risk of falling, while others posed a significantly low risk of falling. It was not disclosed in the report whether or not the low risk trees were left standing.

Despite being told that gaining approval to release these reports outside of his office “won’t take very long,” more than a month after this review the documents remain unreleased.

Cunnin says she has been trying for months Former KSA President Joseph Thorpe stands among the felled trees in the Surrey campus forest. (Kristen Frier) to work with facilities to clarify how risks were

assessed through these reports, but has been unable to find any new information.

The Future of the Trees Still Standing It is unclear to the KPU community whether Facilities has cut down any additional trees since late 2018, and this confusion extends to the very fate of the forest.

Lekeyten, KPU’s Elder in Residence and a member of the Kwantlen First Nation, says he was told by several workers who were tagging and assessing trees that no more would need to be felled.

“They told me they’re done with everything. They told me, ‘What’s left standing will remain standing,’” he says.

Chisholm says that he’s not sure who gave Lekeyten that information, but adds that he is happy to have a conversation about the future of the Surrey campus forest with him.

Due in part to the uncertainty, members of the KPU community are beginning to mobilize in an effort to save the remaining trees in the Surrey campus forest. Lekeyten and professors from various faculties—including horticulture, psychology, criminology, and creative writing—have formed a committee to defend the forest.

In an email sent to concerned members of the community, KPU Creative Writing instructor Ross Laird wrote, “It looks to me like the long-term plan, from the university's point of view, might be to remove the forest altogether.”

Laird believes greater involvement from the community is needed to save the forest, as well as advocacy and public discussion.

Progress will be made, Laird says, “if there is no way for the university to continue to silently take action in the forest without broader consultation.”

“In order for this to happen, you are going to basically have to make it very troublesome for them not to consult with a broad group of interested people,” he says.

According to Chisholm, Facilities is currently testing the soil in the forest to determine what is causing the trees to die. For now, he says, official plans from the university regarding the forest will have to wait.

“We still have to figure out what’s going on with the forest before we can do a proactive move on it,” he says.

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The aftermath of the trees cut down on the Surrey campus grounds. (Kristen Frier)

12

OPINIONS

Academics Need to Stop Using Overly Complex Language Some scholarly writers should learn that bigger doesn’t always mean better

Braden Klassen | Associate Editor One of my biggest pet peeves when reading academic journals, books, or course materials is when the author begins a sentence with the word “indeed.”

It makes me picture the author as a tophat-and-monocle-wearing aristocrat, stroking their chin and holding an oversized pipe to their mouth, swirling an expensive scotch and playing a game of chess against a Dachshund.

“Indeed” is a word that does not add descriptive value to anything that follows. Its official intended purpose is to add emphasis to a statement or tweak the rhythm of a passage, but in reality, it’s just a filler word that makes the author sound pompous and indirect.

Here’s an example taken from Michel Foucault’s The Archaeology of Knowledge: “We can examine what use is served by this analysis that I have rather solemnly called ‘archaeology’. Indeed, we must: for, to be frank, as they are at the moment, things are rather disturbing. I set out with a relatively simple problem: the division of discourse into great unities that were not those of oeuvres, authors, books, or themes.”

Foucault—who, ironically, is responsible for laying the foundations of how we express meaning and ideas in modern communications theory—is at times notoriously difficult to read. That second sentence of his is a prime example of the clunky, interjection-laden garbage that students and academics have to

wade through in order to get to the relevant parts of the text.

In The Archaeology of Knowledge, Foucault points out that when we communicate through language, we are not only expressing obvious and explicit things like ideas, statements, or opinions, we are also reinforcing more implicit, underlying themes like power and authority.

The words we choose to explain our ideas are often as important as the ideas themselves.

Unfortunately, because of this, a lot of people end up using needlessly complex words to create an impression of being superior and highly-educated.

Here’s a more modern example quoted in a 2015 article about academic writing in The Atlantic.

“The work of the text is to literalize the signifiers of the first encounter, dismantling the ideal as an idol. In this literalization, the idolatrous deception of the first moment becomes readable. The ideal will reveal itself to be an idol. Step by step, the ideal is pursued by a devouring doppelganger, tearing apart all transcendence. This de-idealization follows the path of reification, or, to invoke Augustine, the path of carnalization of the spiritual. Rhetorically, this is effected through literalization.”

This is an excerpt from Barbara Vinken’s book on French novelist Gustave Falubert, Flaubert Postsecular: Modernity Crossed Out, and reading it almost gave me an aneurysm.

Using challenging sentence structures pep-

(Kristen Frier) pered with obscure terms, extra prefixes and suffixes, and pedantic-sounding interjections and adverbs like “indeed” or “to be sure” does not add to the value of the work in a constructive way. Instead, it often overcomplicates ideas and needlessly frustrates readers who have to put additional effort into trying to clarify what the intended message is supposed to be.

It makes the work ego-driven when it should be informative and accessible, and it

makes you sound like a damp, floppy thesaurus who has no friends.

Quality writing is defined by its effectiveness at communicating an idea, and more often than not, keeping things simple is more effective.

Truly intelligent people are able to communicate and teach complex subjects without needing to resort to overwrought or bloated prose to prop up their own sense of importance.

If You Want to Have a Laugh in Vancouver, Go Underground

Smaller, performer-run comedy nights might surprise you with just how funny and diverse they can be Lena Belova | Contributor People who still think of Vancouver as the “no fun city” usually don’t know where to find local and independently-run events— partially because they aren’t always happening downtown.

This is especially true for our city’s underground comedy scene. Over the years I’ve lived in Vancouver, I have heard countless people tell me that comedy in Vancouver is sparse and unfunny. When you do see someone funny, they are usually just the opening act for a cringe-worthy headliner. This has also been my own experience when I go to mainstream comedy clubs like Yuk-Yuks or The Comedy Mix. Local comedians and organizers, however, will argue that the increased diversity of performers, stand-up styles, and audiences make shows outside of mainstream clubs both more interesting and more funny.

Shows organized by women or non-binary folks, for example, usually draw more diverse crowds, which makes the audience more inviting for performers. These diverse crowds then impact what kinds of jokes the performers tell in a set.

Comedian Soo Jeong, who has been performing in Vancouver for over a year, finds that the diverse audiences at local events are more open to longer, narrative-based jokes and storytelling, whereas a Yuk-Yuk’s performance “has to be punchline after punchline,

otherwise you lose [the audience].”

Taylor Moorey, another local comedian and organizer who has been performing for three years, says that there would be the same faces in the crowds every night for the shows he used to run, because audiences attend to see the comedians they like, not just for random comedy events.

Even though Jeong has only been performing for a relatively short time, she has seen many new events produced by local comedians pop up across Metro Vancouver. To her, the importance of these events is in the voices of performers and of the organizers who put together the shows.

Moorey adds that these independent events are important for keeping the scene weird, experimental, and exciting.

At the beginning of the month, I got to see Jeong and Moorey perform at the Fox Hole Comedy on Main Street recently, which advertises itself as being the only weekly comedy show where women, non-binary folks, people of colour, and queer people represent the majority of performers.

Event organizer Jackie Hoffart thinks that there are a lot of other “even more diverse” comedy shows running right now, such as “The Millennial Line” and “Yellow Fever”— an all-Asian performers show—at Red Gate, “Fine.” at the Lido, and “Bloodfeud” and “The List” at the Little Mountain Gallery. Other events such as Black Out Comedy, which solely features Black performers and used to

Ed Hill performs at Fox Hole Comedy on May 1. (Lena Belova) run out of the recently closed Goldie’s Pizza’s Comedy Basement, are looking for new venues to call home.

Hoffman says that these kinds of events exist because they provide the community with “a place to feel seen, to see people who are like you, [and] who speak to your experience,”

especially for “folks who don’t identify with the straight-cis-hetero-capitalist-patriarchy.”

If you’ve ever felt out of place or disconnected from the comedy at local mainstream events, keep an eye out for one of these more alternative, independent shows. You might just find your scene.

OPINIONS

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Why Millennials Are Adopting Plants Instead of Babies Houseplants are cheaper, easier to maintain, and far better for a young person’s mental health than children

Kayci Roy | Contributor Diamonds, golf, homeownership, and yogurt make up only a fraction of the long list of things millenials are said to be destroying.

There is, however, at least one industry that they seem to be giving life to: the budding market for houseplants.

Young people are more interested in becoming plant parents than ever before. According to the National Gardening Association, U.S. house plant sales have increased by 50 per cent in the last three years, with Canada seeing an eight per cent increase in overall plant sales. Instead of baby pictures, expect your newsfeeds to be filled with spider, jade, and rubber plants.

A survey from The New York Times concluded that the biggest reason American fertility rates have been at record lows is due to financial instability, and this is also true for homeownership. Plants have become the substitute for raising children or pets because we can’t afford to raise the little critters, and even if we could, we don’t have the space.

Houseplants are cheaper and easier to take care of, so even the busiest people can become plant parents. Air plants don’t require any soil, and often only need a misting once every week or two. Succulents need fertilizer, but they don’t grow very tall, and they sport diverse colors that help brighten any room they’re in.

For those who are ready for a challenge, the monstera or fiddle-leaf fig plant climbs

tall and requires support to hold on to, as it can scale quite high when properly cared for.

In return, the plant provides foliage in a gorgeous array of green and yellow colors that can beautify any space.

Millenials have become part of a new wellness movement through their purchases of organic food, gym memberships, and weekend retreats.

Filling their apartments with plants is a big part of that. There’s a certain kind of serenity to be had from relaxing in your own personal forest, and research has found that being around plant life is good for human health overall.

For students, plants may be helpful during the study crunch for midterms and finals.

Texas A&M University found that keeping plants around you when studying can help with memory and concentration due to their calming influence. It also found that you’re more likely to accomplish higher quality work, so be sure to spend your all-nighters and essay-writing sessions surrounded with some peace lilies and African violets.

Anybody can enjoy the health benefits from having indoor plants. NASA did a study on indoor houseplants and discovered that all 12 of the species they tested efficiently decreased the organic chemicals benzene and formaldehyde in the air. All plants are capable of this, as the cleaning systems within them stem from the physical plant itself instead of its soil.

Almost any household would benefit from having some green in it, and the fact that there

Millennials are showing an increased interest in collecting houseplants for their health and psychological benefits. (Braden Klassen) are thousands of available options means that there is a plant for everyone. There’s something to be said for the meaning behind millennials caring for plants instead of a children or home, but their greater commitment to healthier lifestyles than past generations

means they’re headed in the right direction.

Many indoor plants, including the ones discussed in this article, can be toxic to children and animals if consumed. Please check if a plant is safe for your home before purchasing it.

The 319 is, Officially, the Worst

TransLink released a list of the most complained-about bus routes in Metro Vancouver, and the 319 was at the top Cristian Hobson-Dimas | Staff Writer “Move to the baaaack!” is something that anyone who takes the 319 bus route between Newton Exchange and Scott Road Station hears a lot. It’s what the driver yells pretty much every time they stop in front of KPU’s Surrey campus during peak hours.

For its part, TransLink has proposed to solve the problem by increasing the frequency of the 319—on Sunday nights.

Like many KPU students, I use the 319 during the week to get to school and to work, so offering more busses at night on the weekend makes little sense to me. Something that makes complete sense, however, is that according to the Surrey Now-Leader, the 319 receives more complaints from passengers than any other bus route in Metro Vancouver.

One of the biggest issues that commuters identified is overcrowding. From my experience, clutching my backpack as close to my body as possible and surrendering any expectation of a comfortable amount of personal space is routine on weekday evenings after class. That is, if I can even manage to get on the bus in the first place.

The evening lineup at the bus stop across the street from KPU can make me feel like I'm in front of the Apple store right before the next iPhone drops. I clutch my Compass Card in one hand and cross my fingers with the other, gauging whether there’s enough space for me to make it through the doors.

One thing that the 319 has over some other bus routes, especially those in Surrey, is that it comes more frequently. But what does that mat-

KPU students in line for the 319 hoping there is enough space for them to ride. (Aly Laube) ter if there’s no space on it? Sometimes you’ll find yourself in a shorter lineup, or at least near the front of a line to board the bus. But the 319 is notorious for zipping past stops, already at capacity, leaving you cursing under your breath.

Sometimes, if you’re in luck, the next 319 will be right behind it. But why the hell aren’t these busses timed better? The wait for busses increases when they come in pairs like that. For Surrey students going to Newton exchange, it’s pretty much just as efficient to walk. I’ve found it way faster to ride a longboard in spring and summer.

But if you really think about it, it’s all kind of a big joke, and commuters, especially students, are the butt of it. Every month we pay 50 bucks or more just to waste our time on an immensely flawed and inefficient public transit system.

This is a system that pays its higher-ups more than Canada pays its Prime Ministers, according to a Global News report by Janet Brown which indicates that, in 2017 alone, TransLink CEO Kevin Desmond hauled in more than $450,000.

Meanwhile, here’s me, a student without the ability to opt out of my $150 per-semester

MultiPass fee, despite the fact that I could be putting that money towards car insurance or our history-making gas prices.

So how can students be expected to be economically and environmentally conscious by using public transit when public transit just outright sucks? Sure, there are more eloquent ways of saying it, but it’s true—it fucking sucks.

If the goal is to make our cities greener, our roads less crowded, and the collective cost of transportation lower, the issues that are common during a single trip on the 319 need to be fixed.

14 OPINIONS

John Singleton Taught Us About the Importance of Representation

What We Do with Our Bodies After We Die Can Change Our Views of Mortality Why be buried when you can have your ashes turned into a tattoo or flown into space?

Chelsea Franz | Contributor

Kayci Roy | Contributor

As a writer, I spend most moments in my head, imagining and dreaming. What I see on screens has informed the way I conjure images; my mind often mimics the things I’ve seen in television shows and movies.

It was alarming to realize that, because of the images I was absorbing, I spent a long time dreaming only about white people. I’m a South-Asian femme raised to be a “Canadian,” so the characters of colour I grew up with were often harsh stereotypes or tokens, and because I could never emotionally relate to them, I cut them from my repertoire of fantasy to pillage, pick apart, and re-picture.

John Singleton died on April 28, at the age of 51, in Los Angeles. He is best known for his debut film, Boyz n the Hood (1991), which made him the youngest

It can be scary to think about planning your own funeral. For many of us, death is a soundless and gaping black hole that plagues our minds and bodies, only serving to remind us about the impermanence of our fleshy vessels.

But instead of mourning the loss of life, some companies are finding new ways to remember and celebrate it by offering alternatives to the traditional pine box or stout urn resting on a bookshelf somewhere. In a way, exploring your post-mortem options can help you find solace in the fact that, after death, you can still be a part of some pretty kickass things.

Those who wish to visit the heavens after they die can do so with Celestis Memorial Spaceflights. Fly to the moon, float among the stars, or explore Earth’s orbit with a number of different flight options. They assisted in Star Trek actor James “Scotty” Doohan’s flight when his ashes were sent into orbit in a SpaceX rocket, and are trusted by NASA. Memorial body tattoos are allowing people to stay close to their loved ones by mixing ashes of the departed into tattoo ink. The process is the same as a normal tattoo, though not every artist will participate in a memorial tattoo, so it’s important to find someone experienced and confident. It’s not uncommon to see someone with ink to remember a loved one by, and now people have a chance to make that art extra personal.

Others can shine on by having their ashes

Oscar nominee for best director at just 24 years old. The film also made him the first African-American to be nominated in that category.

Boyz n the Hood was inspired by Singleton’s upbringing in South Central LA and was written in his final year at the University of Southern California. It’s a realistic depiction of the gang violence he experienced growing up and is one of the first movies to show the lived experience of African-Americans at that time.

Singleton went on to direct Poetic Justice (1993) starring Janet Jackson and Tupac Shakur, Michael Jackson’s “Remember the Time” music video, and 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003), among other films.

Singletons most recent work, Snowfall (2018), which he helped create, produce and direct, focuses on LA’s cocaine epidemic in the ’80s, covering similar material to what was explored through Boyz n the Hood.

In a society as screen-focused as ours, it’s important that we have access to representation of marginalized communities in film. Artists and creators need to continue to unapologetically tell their community’s stories, and creators like Singleton help fight the generic assumption that the “normal standard” set by “white Hollywood” is good enough.

Singleton broke barriers by sharing experiences that weren't typically showcased, but often lived. His characters helped show that, even within similar cultures, people can be vastly different.

As a creator, John Singleton’s legacy inspires me to speak my truth. His contributions to the world of film show how art can be powerful, how it can move people, change them, and inspire them to speak out.

One day, I’d like to write a story as bold and unwavering as Singleton's debut. I’d like to open a window for audiences to look through on South-Asian cultures trying to conform to Western standards. I’d like to say, ‘This is us. We are here, and this is what our lives have been like,’ much like Singleton did so well before my time.

(@RESLUS)

transformed into diamonds from Heart in Diamond. Two-thirds of a cup of ashes are used to extract carbon, which is then pressed and added to a foundation. The mixture is placed in ideal conditions for diamonds to grow, after which they’re cut, polished, and graded before being shipped to their receiver.

When exploring post-mortem options, some people might want to think about how they can give back to society. Registering to become an organ donor is perhaps the best way to celebrate life in death, as one body contains the ability to save up to eight lives.

According to BC Transplant, less than one per

cent of all B.C. deaths are eligible for deceased donation. Requirements include that one must die in a hospital, after all life-saving measures have been exhausted; and that they must already be in a critical care unit and attached to a ventilator with zero hope for survival.

Even if your body doesn’t end up qualifying for organ transplants, there are a variety of ways in which someone may celebrate life with their mortal remains. The list of potential options for honouring one’s life should not be seen as morbid or intimidating, but should encourage you to think about how your life can continue to impact others after you’re gone.

Add Some Spice to Your Life by Trying Something New Leaving your comfort zone can stimulate your senses and help you stay smiley all summer Marcus Jones As students, we often get to feel like we're making constant progress towards the ultimate goal of getting our degrees. This can be mentally and physically exhausting, but at least it creates a sense of bringing us closer and closer to success.

However, there can be days when we have no drive to push forward, when an inescapable feeling of pessimism grips onto us and refuses to let go. Frustration and melancholy keep us from accomplishing any of our goals, or even from beginning to sift through the piles of work that await us. When all of the creative centres of our brain simply turn off, it’s easy to get sucked into a bottomless pit of boredom.

This feeling sucks. I’ve experienced it multiple times, and each instance drains more out of me than the last. For some people this feeling can last hours, days, and even weeks or months.

That being said, there is a way to channel your feelings into productivity, and I’ll tell you how.

Try something different. Sounds cliché, right? But by “trying something different,” I mean trying something that you’ve never done before.

Recently, the teacher of my communications class was kind enough to take us to the Strawberry Hill Cinema for our last class of the semester. I was seriously considering going straight home when the time came, since I’m not much of a cinema guy. However, since I was near the theatre, I decided to go

(Kristen Frier) along just for the heck of it.

The movie we were seeing was called Us, a horror-thriller from director Jordan Peele.

Now, some of us hate being scared, and yet we go see scary videos and movies once in a while anyway. Why would we watch something we wouldn’t normally want to experience?

Because it’s out of the ordinary. It’s something that brings us out of our comfort zone and, as a result, expands it.

If your job or school requires you to spend a lot of time sitting down, getting up and moving around when possible can also count as trying something new. You might be surprised how exhilarating it can be to go on a hike. Not only are your legs getting one hell of a workout, but there are also beautiful views along the way. A

change of scenery like this can be stress-relieving, even therapeutic, to the less athletic.

One such hiking spot that I visit regularly and find accessible is Watershed Park. Located near Kittson Parkway, it’s not far from Delview, and is a perfect place to catch a break from your studies.

Hell, even a trip to the shopping mall can come as a welcome break. Metrotown, located in Burnaby, is a great spot for trying something new. Even asking your friend out to the bar for a chat over beer and pub food can help.

In short, push yourself to try something you usually wouldn’t. It has been said many times, but that won’t stop me from saying it again: variety is the spice of life!

COLUMNS

15

Artist Spotlight: Strange Breed

Community comes first for the queer women behind this rock n’ roll four-piece

Aly Laube | Editor in Chief Strange Breed finds strength in how they fit into this city—even if, at times, they don’t feel like they fit in at all.

“We’re always a little bit different on every bill. We’re either the heavy band of the night or the soft band of the night, or we’re the band that sounds too much like mainstream rock, and that’s okay,” says vocalist and rhythm guitarist Nicolle Dupas. “It’s cool to stick out like that.”

Dupas, drummer Megan Bell, lead guitarist Terra Chaplin, and bassist Ally Von Wallis are the four queer women behind the band’s larger-than-life rock sound. Their lyrics are frank and feminist, with Dupas’ glam metal wail belting “consent is cool!” and exploring issues from American gun laws to predatory behaviour from men in positions of power.

“We touch on as much as we can in a three minute song or less, and we try to make it applicable to anyone who identifies with any gender or any sexual identity because, regardless of if you’re gay or straight or anywhere in between, you’ve experienced something that we’ve talked about in most circumstances,” she says.

It’s heavy subject matter made accessible through the group’s playful songwriting and boisterous personality, both in the studio and in front of a crowd.

Even the most catatonic show-goer might find it hard to sit still during one of Strange Breed’s sets. If you’re not moving, the band will do it for you—sometimes by dancing with an enormous plush shark during their fittingly-titled track “Sharks”, sometimes with a leap into the crowd from Dupas.

The bandmates often speak their minds on stage, explaining the context for their songs or

commenting on current events. Unobstructed opinions are consistently at the forefront of the band’s image, and while the members do share lived experiences, they readily acknowledge how their differences factor into their musicianship as well.

“We’re all women and we’re all queer but we’re all somewhere different on the spectrum when it comes to gender identity and sexual orientation,” says Dupas. “We’re all pretty different and we all experience life differently, so I think it came together pretty well that our music can be experienced from different perspectives.”

Dupas explains that she and Von Wallis, as more femme-presenting people, often find themselves being flirted with or talked down to after a gig while Bell and Chaplin are more likely to simply be congratulated.

“The same people who are giving hugs to Nicolle and Ally are giving us handshakes, you know?” says Bell, adding that the celebration of differences in the queer community is part of what inspired them to start the band. ”We really took strongly to owning our identities in a way where we could include more people,” she says. “The message is that who you are is enough. Come join us!”

Every member of Strange Breed came from a radically different place before they started playing music together as well. Dupas had been itching to start an all-women group for a while, and had tried her hand at it a few times before finding Chaplin through Craigslist. She and Bell—long-term partners and proud parents to a pug affectionately nicknamed Meatball—were living together when she started looking for drummers and slowly realized Bell was the right one for the band. The trio had already been jamming for

Clockwise from top: drummer Megan Bell, lead guitarist Terra Chaplin, bassist Ally Von (NicWallis, Laube) and vocalist Nicolle Dupas of Strange Breed. (Submitted by Bailey Morgan) a while when they found Von Wallis, a barista who had never picked up a bass before Dupas asked her if she wanted to learn.

Now Strange Breed has put out a couple of EPs and a handful of singles, with more material on the way. They’re gearing up to release

a new record in September and are teasing it with a single coming out next month. On July 6, they will be playing with North by North (Chicago), Cawama, and Colour Tongues at Static Jupiter on East 6th Street.

A Critical Affair: The Greasy Game of Fossil Fuel Politics Fossil fuels are a political vulnerability for the BC NDP, another reason for the party to focus on energy independence

Braden Klassen | Associate Editor Politicians make dishonest statements all the time. It benefits them to bend or deny the truth in order to gain or consolidate power by, say, protecting wealthy and reliable donors— like we’ve seen with SNC Lavalin—or by ignoring scientific evidence and expert opinions on climate change or the price of gas.

It’s up to voters to hold them accountable for their words, actions, and decisions, and it’s up to the news media to make sure the public is informed enough to vote for whoever they believe will exercise the best leadership and serve the public.

Not even a full month after he was elected, the CBC published an article fact-checking Jason Kenney’s claims that the B.C. government was unduly preventing the expansion of the Trans Mountain pipeline, and that this is what was causing gas prices to rise in the Lower Mainland. The article includes interviews with economists from UBC and the University of Alberta, both of whom said that this isn’t true and that the price of gas has little to do with the completion of the pipeline.

These people aren’t wizards. They’re not journalists or politicians. They’re economists—you know, the people who actually know what they’re talking about, and whose opinions I will always trust over Kenney’s kind

of partisan bluster— and they are saying that there is no evidence that supports a causal relationship between the price of gas and pipeline expansions.

But for the Albertan government, established facts only seem to be inconvenient diversions from building frustration among the electorate which they can direct at an outside entity. In this case, that entity is apparently the B.C. government, and as long as the United Conservative Party is able to wield oil and gas as a political cudgel, our fossil fuel-reliant economy will always be a point of weakness for B.C.’s provincial party. Hopefully, this will further incentivize the BC NDP to transition to sustainable energy like solar and wind.

“When you’re in a game of poker, you don’t show the other folks at the table what your high card is,” Kenney told CTV on May 1. “My hope is that the British Columbia government will, frankly, listen to reason and listen to British Columbians and help us get gas prices down.”

If he plays poker the way he’s playing this game in politics, his bluffing could probably use some work.

He’s also playing a bad hand by threatening to restrict the gas export to B.C. through Bill 12—which B.C. Attorney General David Eby is already challenging in a lawsuit filed in Alberta. The consensus is that restricting trade between provinces is plainly unconstitutional,

(Nic Laube) and this bill will likely be shut down without much debate.

The fact that he was making threats before his party was even voted in gives us a meaningful preview of what he’s about. Sadly, by the time the people who are on board with this idea recognize that Kenney’s threats have been empty and misleading all along, they’ll have lost interest, and the party could be blaming someone else for their failure to produce meaningful change.

Maybe in a few more years they’ll try and

put an embargo on B.C. wine again. For the betterment of the province and stuff.

There has been so much squabbling and so many headaches created by this kind of political jousting over fossil fuels that it may be worthwhile for the NDP to ramp up its ambitions in developing an economy that can be more effectively supported without fossil fuels. Instead of continuing to cover up one of the party’s biggest political vulnerabilities, these problems should serve as a wake-up call that our province’s reliance on oil and gas needs to be reduced.

PROCRASTINATION HOROSCOPES

Sagittarius

Capricorn

Aquarius

You say “no worries� a lot, but deep inside of you there are, in fact, many worries.

All your cattle have brucellosis.

This horoscope was left intentionally blank.

Pisces

Aries

Taurus

Don’t even think about going to that haunted synagogue.

Your Twitter feed is merely a way for the government to document your slow mental decline and eventual collapse.

If you don’t think that skateboards, shoulder pads, and flock of seagull haircuts are tubular, then I guess you’re just not rad to the max.

Gemini

Cancer

Leo

Your body is a constitutional monarchy and you are its powerless, figurehead queen.

There’s nowhere in the Bible it says a dog CAN’T be the bishop of Rome!

There is good cause to fear the singing of the whippoorwills who grow vocal on warm summer nights. It is vowed by the locals that the birds are psychopomps lying in wait for the souls of the dying...

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

You are a mercurial shapeshifter, the ravenous emissary of the warp who murmurs profane rights of perversion to the faithless. Don’t go shopping or make any important decisions this week.

Why not get horrorshow with a gruppa your finest droogs, peet a malenky firegold, skvat some deng to filly with a pititsa or dva, and maybe lovet some cinny of the strack variety, eh?

...that they time their eerie cries in unison with the sufferer's struggling breath, and if they can catch the soul as it flees the body, the whippoorwills all flutter away chittering in demoniac laughter.

Nov. 23 - Dec 21

Dec. 22 - Jan 20

Jan 21 - Feb 19

Mar 21 - Apr 19

Feb 20 - Mar 20

Apr 20 - May 20

Jun 21 - Jul 23

May 21 - Jun 20

Aug 24 - Sept 23

Jul 24 - Aug 23

Sept 24 - Oct 23

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