Vol. 3 Issue 8 by The Runner

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MICHAEL SMITH VISITS KWANTLEN

CHEF-AT-HOME

WHOSE MUSIC SCENE FLOURISHES AND WHOSE FLOUNDERS P. 06

SEATTLE VS. VANCOUVER:

LOWER MAINLAND STREAMS AND RIVERS IN DANGER P. 04

TOP 10 ALBUMS OF THE YEAR P. 07

NEWS AND CULTURE FOR THE STUDENTS OF KWANTLEN POLYTECHNIC UNIVERSITY VOL. 3 ISSUE 08 | NOVMBER 23 2010

NEWS & POLITICS

page two | November 23 2010 | vol. 3 issue 08

RANKINGS

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

AROUND KWANTLEN

Rankings ignore strengths of certain institutions: Concordia All schools are different, but rankings compare on same set of criteria

EVAN LEPAGE THE CONCORDIAN

MONTREAL (CUP) — Bradley Tucker says university rankings may have some relative value, but they often ignore the strengths specific to each institution. “It’s taking a series of indicators and it’s looking at everyone according to the same yardstick,” said Tucker, director of institutional planning at Concordia University, referring specifically to the 2010 Maclean’s university rankings released last week. “What I disagree with is that all universities have the same relative strengths.” A university’s low placement is something Tucker says won’t change until the rankings “performance indicators” change. One of his criticisms of the ranking system was that it measured university input and output, but ignored “outcome” or how students contributed to society after graduation. “I think a ranking has to take account of the student experience while they’re in the institution, which Maclean’s does, and it has to take account of what happens after our students graduate.” Reputation is a decisive criterion in the Maclean’s ranking system, amounting to 20 per cent of the score, something Tucker also highlighted as one of the more questionable ele-

ments. “I’ve called it the black box of the Maclean’s indicators,” he said. To gauge a school’s reputation, Maclean’s asks university administrators to rank schools they know on their degree of excellence, Tucker said. But he believes that many of these respondents will still rate a school despite not truly knowing that much about a particular institution. Tucker also noted that Maclean’s ranking system claims to judge schools on a number of “key skills,” but many of their criteria don’t seem to qualify as such in the traditional sense of the words. “To me, the amount of money you get from the government is not a skill. The amount of money you have to devote to libraries is not a skill,” he said, also mentioning the studentfaculty ratio. According to a statement sent to the Concordian by Mary Dwyer, senior editor of Maclean’s rankings issue, the criteria are actually determined “by the availability of the data and examine many of the same performance measures tracked by university administrators.” Maclean’s only uses publicly available information for their rankings. The statement also said that Maclean’s “recognizes that the rankings cannot give a complete

picture of a university,” which is why they include other information in the editorial package that accompanies the rankings every year. This is not the first time post-secondary rankings have come under fire from university administrators. In 2006, 11 Canadian universities, including the University of Toronto, Dalhousie University, University of Ottawa and the University of British Columbia, refused to supply Maclean’s with the data necessary to complete their survey. The magazine’s research methods were cited as a major reason for the decision. “In short, the ranking methodology used by Maclean’s is oversimplified and arbitrary,” read a letter to the magazine from the 11 universities on Aug. 14, 2006. “We do find it ironic that universities are being asked to subsidize and legitimize this flawed methodology, when many faculty, staff and students at our institutions are dedicated in their research to ensuring that data are collected rigorously and analyzed meticulously.” Despite all the criticisms, Tucker acknowledges the use of rankings as one of many tools hopeful students use to choose their universities. He simply advised that “if you’re going to look at rankings, look at a lot of them and look at them critically. And look at them with an eye for what’s important to you.”

CUP CARTOON-TURTLE POWER

WHAT’S HAPPENING AT KWANTLEN

NOV

24 2010

Board of Governors Meeting WHERE: Cloverdale Campus, Board Room WHEN: : 3:00pm-6:00pm WHAT: Come out and hear what the BOG has been up to and the changes in policy that will affect you.

NOV

2010

Music @ Midweek WHERE: Langley Campus - Auditorium WHEN: 12:15pm-1:00pm WHAT: Swing by the Langley Campus Auditorium and hear your fix from Kwantlen’s musically inclined. This week will feature Kwantlen Mad-Jazz Vocal Ensemble.

NOV

29 2010

KSA Surrey Council meeting WHERE: KSA Offices - Surrey Campus 1240 WHEN: 12:00pm WHAT: Find out what the KSA has been up to and have your thoughts and opinions heard on important student issues.

NOV

29 ANDREW MACLACHLAN/THE NEXUS (CAMOSUN COLLEGE)

2010

ENTERPRISING STUDENTS

MOLY MILOSOVIC THE GATEWAY

LANGLEY, B.C. (CUP) — Men no longer have to worry about being boring or predictable when attempting to woo a woman. Thanks to Trinity Western University’s Jason Ballard and Josiah Peters, there’s now an app for that. The old dinner-and-amovie routine was getting old, overdone and unoriginal, according to the two students. Girls want to be wowed and appreciated on dates. Spontaneity is key, they explain. Enter The DateBank — the solution to all dating worries

and it only costs 99 cents. The DateBank is Ballard and Peters’ first iPhone and iPad application, featuring countless romantic and original date ideas. You select your style of the date — traditional, chatty, playful, outdoorsy, artsy, athome, adventurous — your budget and time of day, and a list of incredible dates come up with a full description for each suggestion, as well as a list of exactly what you’ll need to make it happen. This all started with two guys on a mission to bring life back to dating. Their goal was to create a spectrum of creative and affordable dates that could

be used for either the lowbudget university student or the wealthy married couple. DateBank will help any couple, whether you are going out for the first time or you’ve been married for years. “Dating can get formulaic after a while, but there are ways to inject creativity into your relationship” said Peters. And DateBank will almost guarantee to sweep your lady off of her feet. With a five star rating in the app store and over 150 possible dates to choose from, the DateBank is a practical and affordable tool to spice up your romantic relationships.

WHERE: Langley Campus WHEN: All day WHAT: Swing by for some free popcorn at the KSA lounge. This week is featuring‘pirate movies.’

Date night tips: There’s an app for that I

Movie Mondays

NOV

30 2010

Disney Institute Seminar WHERE: Surrey Campus - Cedar Conference Centre WHEN: 7:30am-4:30pm WHAT: The School of Business is hosting the 2010 Disney’s Approach to Quality Service program, presented by the world renowned Disney Institute

NEWS & POLITICS

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

vol. 3 issue 08 | November 23 2010 | page three

SPOTLIGHT

Food Network’s Michael Smith comes to Kwantlen The star of ‘Chef at Home’ spoke to an attentive audience last Wednesday to talk frankly about food, farms, and how we do not fully grasp what we are putting in our bodies

Michael Smith, the easygoing host of Food Network’s top rated show Chef at Home, paid Kwantlen a visit on Nov. 17 to talk about the thing he knows best: food. Smith was candid about his theories on food and the state of North American food systems, showing that he has an activist side that transcends his PapaBear image on Chef at Home. He opened by saying that he’s the type of guy that “tells it like it is” and that he’s here to “push a few buttons and piss some people off.” Smith was quick to address Sodexo’s image and was conscious that the catering company was not necessarily popular with all students. “Not everyone is excited about what we do. We very often take the lumps,” said Smith. He also said that he is happy to be a part of Sodexo and able to push the company to change for the better. After the elephant was out of the room, Smith moved the subject matter to the critical issue of our food system, saying that food in North America is the cheapest in the world, but we get what we are

Chef Michael Smith of Food Network’s Chef at Home, graced Kwantlen with a candid lecture about food on Nov. 17. ABBY WISEMAN/THE RUNNER

IN BRIEF

single worst food systems on the planet

MAE VELASCO CURRENT EVENTS BUREAU CHIEF

Prince William Finally Proposed to Kate Middleton Prince William has finally proposed to girlfriend of eight years, Kate Middleton. The couple announced on Nov. 16 that they were engaged last month during a holiday in Kenya. William gave Middleton an oval blue sapphire surrounded with diamonds worn by his late mother, Princess Diana. They are set to wed in the spring or summer of 2011 in London.

ABBY WISEMAN CO-ORDINATING EDITOR

Teen Girl Stalks Bus Driver

paying for. Instead of eating food high in nutrients we have become a society that lives on unsatisfying processed foods that are full of ingredients that we can’t pronounce or understand the effect they have on our bodies. Making us have one of the “single worst food systems on the planet,”said Smith. Smith also addressed the dire situation of our farms and farmers, saying that agricultural land is being depleted and many farmers don’t have succession plans, or know who will take over their farms when they retire, mainly because our food system is disrespectful to our farmers. Our cheap food comes at a cost to the farmers who grow the plants on which we depend. As Smith’s speech wound down, he brought it all to the point that we have lost a personal connection with our food, whether it’s through the lack of interaction between farmers and consumers, or the decline of people who cook for themselves. Smith says that food is personal and it’s our willingness to invest time and money into the food we consume that will create a healthy society. The Papa-Bear did come out in Smith at the end of his talk when he surveyed the crowd and firmly asked “everybody got it?” The speech was followed up with a book signing, and Sodexo served up three of Smith’s dishes at the cafeteria.

DISCUSSIONS

In Photos: Philosopher’s Teahouse

A teen girl has been held in custody for stalking a female bus driver. Over a five-month period the 18 year-old, then 17 years-old, would ride the bus throughout the drivers shift, staring and smiling at the driver. She also died her hair the same colour and got the same tattoos. On top of that the teen girl added her on facebook and even waited by the bus drivers car till after her shift.

editor@runnerrag.ca

Students were invited to a talk called ‘The Philosophers Teahouse,’ which took place on Richmond campus on Nov. 15. The topic of the discussion was race, ethnicity and discrimination in Canada. The event was held as part of Kwantlen’s International Education Week. ABBY WISEMAN/THE RUNNER

FEATURE

page four | November 23 2010 | vol. 3 issue 08

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

ENVIRONMENT

The demise of the urban creek The increase in urbanization in recent years has resulted in many challenges for local streams and rivers, including the destruction of delicate ecosystem. Despite the doom and gloom these rockbeds still have a fighting chance.

MATTHEW BOSSON TRAVEL BUREAU CHIEF

rban Creeks are facing a number of challenges to remain productive and healthy ecosystems – challenges such as pollution, invasive species and human garbage. Streams and rivers in the Lower Mainland are seeing more abuse then ever, with

pollution brought into the creeks via storm water run-off, garbage from illegal dumping and invasive species brought in for home gardens. These delicate ecosystems are a valuable resource that are home to many species of salmon and trout as well as crayfish, lamprey, stickleback and scuplin according to local ecological experts. “The single biggest challenge is storm water runoff, which is a fancy term for rainwater and snow melt that pour directly down street drains and into underground pipes that empty untreated into urban creeks,” said Deborah Jones, a Cougar Canyon Stream Keeper volunteer. “Before urbanization, this water would have soaked into the ground, where plants, soil and soil organisms would filter and cool it,” she said. “Water not needed by plants or other organisms would then seep into the groundwater table, and from there into local creeks, keeping their water levels stable and their water quality high.” Peter Willows, a Salmon Habi tat and Restoration Proj ect (ShaRP) environmental consultant, commented similarly, “the major ones [issues facing urban creeks] are pollution from untreated water from storm discharge and run-off and water temperature fluctuation”Willows said there are solutions to this problem, “pre-treatment of storm water, by way of mechanical filter systems and natural scrubber marsh systems can be utilized. This detention and slow release of rain water would prevent much damage to local creeks and streams.” “The biggest single improvement would be for local governments to require that all storm water runoff be directed first into landscaped areas, rain gardens or infiltration swales,” said Jones. “This would allow cooling, filtration, and groundwater recharge to take place, as they once did in pre-development landscapes.” Aside from the issue of pollution, there are several other problems facing these fish rearing habitats. “Other significant challenges to urban creeks include invasive plant species and human/ dog traffic, both of which transform the ecology of riparian [stream side] habitat,” said Jones. “Native plants and animals create a very particular soil chemistry, water chemistry, insect population, etc, all of which are ideally suited to healthy streams with healthy populations of our iconic Pacific Northwest fish, salmon and trout.”

Jones said the appearance of foreign plant species such as English ivy, Lamium, Daphne, Laurel, and Japanese knot-weed in the Lower Mainland limits the growth of native plants that would have traditionally shaded the stream, which helps control water temperature and increases the creeks ability to hold oxygen, according to the Metropolitan Sewer District (MSD), an American urban water quality analyzing agency, website. “Nowadays, this stream-side ecology is massively impacted by escaped garden plants, as well as by high-nitrogen dog pee and poop, and the erosive influence of feet, paws and bike tires,” said Jones. “As stream-side chemistry and ecology change, salmon and trout struggle to survive in creeks that were once perfectly suited to them.” The water quality of the Lower Fraser River, which most Lower Mainland creeks and streams eventually drain into is rated as poor or marginal according to the Environment Canada website. This could be seen as an indicator to the health of these local ecosystems. “Of all the influences, torrents of polluted storm water runoff are by far the biggest stress,” said Jones. Garbage, whether discarded directly or indirectly, is also an issue in water habitats of all kinds. “Garbage is one of the larger issues the local creeks face, it harms the fish, the creek bed, the water quality, and sadly it is one of the easiest issues to fix,” said Jones. “It's simple human ignorance that causes this problem.” “More than the chemical and physical detriments that garbage can and do pose to fish species, I feel it's the idea behind the pollution of our fish habitats that is much, much more dangerous to fish populations as a whole,“ said Mark Nasu, a former SHaRP employee and a third year Environmental Engineering student at UNBC. “It is the statement made by us allowing ourselves to dump this waste into our waters that is the single longest term danger to any fish population.” The decline in urban fish populations is negative but not surprising based on the abuse urban streams and waterways are facing. “I began volunteering on Cougar Creek in 2004. By that time, fish populations were already in very serious decline,” said Jones. “Talking to people who have lived in North Delta since the 1960s or earlier, I've learned that fish populations were quite robust not that long ago in Cougar Creek.” Although populations are in decline and Lower Mainland fish species are feeling the stress, Jones said. “ I was pleasantly surprised to learn in Fall 2009 that Delta staff, prior to dredging the Westview sediment trap, had rescued well over 100 fish from the deep pool there. Salmon, trout, stickleback and even goldfish, nature is amazingly resilient.”

SPORTS

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

vol. 3 issue 08 | November 23 2010 | page ﬁve

REVIEW

Year in Review: Men’s Soccer >> I

Meet Kyle. He likes writing about sports. He also believes in a no-holds-barred approach when talking about it. Beware, it’s time for ‘Eagle Watch.’

KYLE BENNING SPORTS BUREAU CHIEF

The men’s soccer team didn’t have a season to remember, but it was a significant one. The Eagles entered tryouts with a new coach in charge, with a new system and a new squad. Ajit Braich was named the head coach of the men’s team in February of this year, which made him the second head coach in many years. Braich held tryouts relatively soon after he was hired to get a sense of the team he was about to take on. The first set of sessions ran two weeks after Kwantlen released his name as being head coach. But the three days in March was not enough time for Braich to decide his final roster, so he held another identification

camp at the end of April and beginning of May. After holding both sessions, Braich released a roster of 20 players with 12 being rookies. With that many inexperienced players, it looked like the Eagles’ season was going to need patience and commitment. Once July came, the team began practising nine hours a week to try and form some kind of chemistry and organize their style of play, set pieces and other business that needed to be set before the season began. The team went 12 hours per week when August arrived to make sure they were prepared for their league campaign. The Eagles were set to start the new season at home on the new pitch at Newton Athletic Park on Sept. 12 against the UNBC Timberwolves. The Eagles started their season with a bang as Gino McLeod potted two quick goals for the Eagles in their home opener. Unfortunately, it all seemed to go downhill from there. The Timberwolves came back with a vengeance and scored four unanswered goals to win the match 4-2. The following weekend,

the Eagles traveled to Prince George to try and set the record straight against the Timberwolves who beat them on their new field six days earlier. But the Timberwolves managed to put four more goals past the Eagles, while our team could only manage to score a lone goal. Little did the team know, their season was about to take a turn for the worse. The team followed this performance with two-match home stand against Thompson Rivers University and UBCO. TRU seemed to control the flow of play and the momentum before finishing the match 5-0. It looked like the same story the following day against the Heat as the Eagles failed to score while conceding four goals themselves. The defence appeared to be very fragile, whether they were playing at home or on the road. But if nine goals were not enough for one weekend, the team hosted Douglas College the following Saturday. The Royals were the toughest team in the league, and it showed. They racked up nine goals after 90 minutes at Newton Athletic Park.

On the following day, a deflated Eagles team would go to Coquitlam Town Centre to play the team who just embarrassed them on home turf. Fortunately, it wasn’t as severe as it was the previous encounter as the Eagles held the Royals to 5 while their scoring drought increased to four matches. However, that might have sparked the fire that the men were looking for, because the men picked up their first and only point of the season the following Sunday in Squamish against Quest in a 2-2 draw. Of course, they did lose 3-0 the day before to the VIU Mariners in Nanaimo. However, that was the most valuable point a team could earn. It gave the entire team a shot of confidence and all of the players appeared to “grow up”. “Any result at any time of the season perks everybody up around the campus,” said Braich. “I felt that they grew up that day by picking up that point.” The Eagles entered their final home games with a sense of optimism as local rivals Langara and Capilano were preparing for provincials. Anyone watching the game

against Langara could tell that the Eagles were playing with more purpose and were unlucky not to get anything from this match as they lost 3-2. Capilano arrived the following day and appeared to be stronger than Langara. The Eagles put up a decent fight, but after conceding an early goal, they couldn’t hold on and lost 2-0. Their final two games didn’t really have much importance to their final position, and the young Eagles side lost both matches on the road to UBCO and TRU 3-0 and 7-0. “It was a difficult season. I didn’t realize we’d lose by as many goals, but we are such a young team. However, with the signs that we left on the field, with other schools, the coaching staff and the athletic directors is that we are on the right road; building a program over two or three years,” said Braich. “[I would like to] thank everybody at the athletic department obviously. And I think the program is heading in the right direction. [We] just a little bit more patience.” The men finished the season with a record of 0-1-11, scoring seven goals and allowing 51.

page six | November 23 2010 | vol. 3 issue 08

MUSIC

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

MUSIC ISSUES

A tale of two cities Seattle and Vancouver share a lot of similarities when it comes to scenery, weather and public interest. So why do their music scenes look so different?

KRISTI ALEXANDRA CULTURE EDITOR

ritish Columbia is blessed with towering evergreens, long, stretching beaches and natural mountain ranges—a veritable goldmine for outdoors-y types. Our lush natural scenery and temperate weather is the key ingredient in the active lifestyle of many Vancouverites, and while we can boast of being one of the most beautiful cities in the world, the face of Vancouver is alternately blemished with one major issue: our not-so-lush music scene. Scratch Records is one of 10 struggling independent record stores in Vancouver. The shop, which moved from its longtime location on Richards Street on Sept. 11, is the size of a pillbox when compared to the open-concept warehouse style record shops of our rainy neighbour to the south, Seattle. Although the shop has moved to a smaller location, owner Keith Parry can hardly afford the high rent that Canada’s most financially unliveable city demands—so he hosted illegal shows after hours, breaking his lease agreement, to help pay the bills. That was, of course, until Parry and his business were locked out of their new Gastown location in midOctober when the leasers and appropriate law authorities caught wind of an illegal Halloween show that was planned

to take place at the new East Hastings location, boasting a bill of popular local bands. Faced with fines and the inability to host any more afterhours shows, Scratch Records is “sitting on thousands of CDs that [they] can’t sell at fullprice anymore” according to an interview with Parry in The Georgia Straight. Parry’s situation is just one of many that illustrates the Vancouver music scene’s bureaucratic battle with lease prices, liquor licencing, zoning restrictions and noise regulations—all factors in maintaining our city’s reputation as “No Fun City”. So, it’s no surprise that Seattle, just three hours over the Canadian-American border, is the envy of its colicky, blubbering baby sister to the north. But not everyone would agree that it is Vancouver’s relative youth to blame for its seemingly infantile approach to music. “The main difference between Seattle and Vancouver is that Vancouver’s got a huge stick up its ass,” says Mike Usinger, music editor of Vancouver’s main culture rag, The Georgia Straight. “ [Vancouver] does everything in its power to make live music inaccessible.” Seattle’s colourful streets are lit with neon signs and populated by girls with tattooed arms and Betty Page haircuts, and guys with slicked back hair and donning Buddy Holly glasses. Large

retro-style marquee signs are lit outside of independent record shops advertising the shops’ newest inventory or in-store shows—which get no flack from local authorities according to Mike Batt, owner of independent record shop Silver Platters. While there is still a large amount of illegal “house shows” that go on in Seattle’s U-district—a neighbourhood full of communes and subsidised housing occupied by students and artists—, regulations for liquor licensing allow for venues that host shows to include sectioned-off areas where underage attendees can watch a band while those of age may drink in comfort. This bridge between underage and of age showgoers is not as easily paved in Vancouver. Little Mountain Gallery (195 east 26th avenue), an arts and music space fraught with issues of liquor licencing and noise restrictions, is one notorious nook for those fighting for a sustainable music culture in Vancouver. The gallery, which aims to fund its purpose with all-ages shows, has been caught many times selling beer when a liquor license could not be obtained from the city. That’s aside from the space’s neighbours who often call the police to the neighbourhood with noise complaints. Local musician and supporter of the arts space, Jody Glenham of folk-ensemble Frances May, squirmed in a CBC radio interview when asked why she encouraged people to “BYOB” when referencing to LMG in a post on Twitter. She later jokingly tweeted that she meant “bring your own baklava”. Her hapless response to the issue only makes it clearer that Vancouver musicians and show-goers are listlessly fighting a losing battle to bring the music scene to surface. Media outlets are similarly gagged when it comes to exposing the underground. “We try and cover it all,” says Usinger on getting the word out about new bands and shows. “Underground shows are a challenge for us in that underground shows

are typically run by DIY kids who are like ‘I’m doing this all myself and I’m not interested in having the mainstream turning the microscope on me.’” “So when we get connect a band like Monotonix coming from Israel to Vancouver to play [at] the Emergency Room, we want to be there to cover it because we’re excited about it. What funnily enough happens, though, is that we’ll get people who are there to see Monotonix before they surface into the mainstream going ‘Why don’t you guys cover Monotonix?’ and then we’ll cover them in some illegal venue and the illegal venue will go ‘Hey, don’t come down here and cover Monotonix ‘cause all that’s doing is letting people know we exist and cops come down and drop the hammer on us,’” he claims. “Long story short, we try to go and cover these illegal things and inevitably get [the organizers] saying ‘We don’t want your coverage.’” It’s not as though there are few media outlets in our Canadian west coast dot on the map, but as far as alternative coverage goes, The Georgia Straight leads the pack in music coverage followed by Discorder and Beatroute magazines. Seattle Weekly and The Stranger are two major culture rags based in Seattle, among several grassroots media outlets like Hollow Earth Radio. Perhaps the spirit of music in the city, which was the birthplace of guitarlegend Jimi Hendrix and grunge, is inherent in its inhabitants. Seattle resident Amber Morgan and her partner Garrett Kelly saw an opportunity to better the music scene when their numerous “house shows” were being shut down on a regular basis. The couple wanted to support local

music and make it available to an all ages crowd, which they regularly catered to in their communal home. That’s when they started Hollow Earth Radio, a 24 hour, online, freeform radio station. “What happened was there were a lot of musicians coming through [Seattle] who don’t get any on-air representation, and they’re the kind of DIY musicians who record their own music, put out their own music, distribute their own music and pay for their own tours. Those bands weren’t and still aren’t getting any representation in general. So we [she and Garrett] thought ‘there are so many awesome bands that just aren’t getting heard’ so we should have a forum for that. Another reason is that, in Seattle, there seems to be a very heavy house show circuit and a lot of them at the time that we started Hollow Earth were getting shut down by the city for various reasons, which is bound to happen if you’re not doing something legit,” says Morgan. “We saw it as a horrible thing in our community, that these all-ages spaces were getting shut down.” “When the shows stopped, we wanted to set up something that felt sustainable to a local community,” she professes. And thus began the alternative radio station that now boasts over 100 volunteers, over 50 of which are DJs. Seattle music enthusiasts have shown, in the face of adversity, that they will stand up against the injustices against music and find a solution, etching out the lush landscape of Seattle’s successful music scene. For Vancouver to shake its reputation as “No Fun City,” it will have to do the same.

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

MUSIC

vol. 3 issue 08 | November 23 2010 | page seven

ALBUMS

TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2010

CARLIE AUCLAIR HEALTH BUREAU CHIEF

Though the year’s not over yet, we put together the 10 best albums of 2010. In no particular order, of course, because, really, how could we choose?

Arcade Fire The Suburbs (Merge) This Canadian indie group’s third album titled The Suburbs takes us into the unsettling world of revisited childhood memories. The haunting follow up to Neon Bible was lyrically inspired by band members Win and William Butler’s upbringing in the suburbs of Houston and described by the band members as a mix of Neil Young and Depeche Mode. Although it contains some bitter lyrics that bleed resentment, the rest is saved by the emotional connections the melodies create. The songs manage to transcend the awkward borders of adolescence while taking us through an odyssey of warm summer evening barbeques and passionate teenage dry humping. By far one of the best albums this year has to offer. The Black Keys Brothers (Nonesuch) The American blues-rock duo has stuck a piece of coal in the thin crevice that is the music machine and pumped out a bona-fide diamond that is Brothers. With this album’s sultry but gritty melodies, I would have to categorize this as a true “baby-making album”. Brothers sold 73,000 copies in the first week released, making the band’s highest charting album to date, and rightfully so. It’s hard not to forget the funked- up, whiskey-soaked vocals of “Tighten Up” or the undulating melody of “Only One”. With the amount of sex infused into this album I believe it is safe to say that this is not your grandparent’s music. Vampire Weekend Contra (XL) Followed by controversy and a lawsuit, because of the picture of a fresh faced model the band used for the album cover, Contra has created massive amounts of buzz for the American indie band, Vampire Weekend. Basically the band was sued by Ann Kirsten Kennis (the girl in the photo) for $2 million for using the photo without her permission. Putting aside the drama the songs are dripping with punchy rhythms and playful experimental lyrics. Because lead singer Ezra Koenig manages to once again inject his nonchalant east coast sex appeal into the very unique sound Vampire Weekend delivers, Contra stands out like a sore thumb in a sea of lemmings. The National High Violet (4AD) Compared to past albums, High Violet’s serious tracks manage to cement The National as a legitimate rock band. This masterpiece channels the tragic honesty of the late musical genius, Ian Curtis and the melancholy insight of uber-poet, Leonard Cohen. Songs like “Sorrow” and “Afraid of Everyone” are loaded with the emotional leverage of drowning in a sea of lost hope. Although the tracks have a quiet sadness, it is a respectful sadness– one we can take seriously. It’s not the musings of a hormonal teenage drama case, more of the weathered traveler who has experienced more than his fill of heartache. The sadness has an unforgettable girth that invokes the need to press repeat. Broken Bells Broken Bells (Columbia) Broken Bells is a new American rock band composed of artistproducer Brian Burton (Danger Mouse) and James Mercer, the lead vocalist and guitarist for the Oregonian indie-rock band The Shins (another one of my favorites).This debut album is the leggy, sparkly eyed beauty that breezes into a party and forces everyone to turn around in slow motion and ask themselves “Who is that elegant creature?” The melodies have the precision of a solar eclipse and the sexual tension of a first crush staring that little bit longer into your eyes as you walk by them. Songs like “The High Road” and “The Ghost Inside” were made for really good movie soundtracks. Let’s just hope the movies that these songs make their way into are as good as the songs themselves. She and Him Volume 2 (Merge) Judging from my recent concert review I wrote for the Runner, it is safe to say that I am a big fan of this band. Zooey Deschanel provides the charming and very retro lead vocals and her partner in crime, M. Ward delivers the goods as the guitar front man and provider of all melodies. Volume 2 is the sophomore album for She and Him that take you on a tandem bicycle ride for two through a sunny California afternoon. Their appropriately titled summer single “In the Sun” reminds us of what it was like to be a kid again.

The New Pornographers Together (Matador) Even though this optimistic power-pop album is a bit Polyphonic Spree does Rock Band, it still manages to emerge as a very well rounded indie-pop album. Songs like “Move” paint a lyrical picture filled with Neko Case’s golden vocals and the juxtaposed sound of a string based orchestra. For this album the Pornographers must have made a few calls to their music compadres because the amount of collaboration on this album is epic. Just to name a few: DAP Kings, Okkervil River’s Will Sheff, St. Vincent’s Annie Clark, and Beirut’s Zach Condon.

MGMT Congratulations (Columbia) Congratulations is the second studio album by American psychedelic rock band MGMT. As professed by the band, this album was a way to deal with all the craziness that had been going on since their last album took off (poor babies!). This is evident in tracks such as the manic quirky “Brian Eno” and the John Lennon-esque “I found a Whistle”. I do have to admit that MGMT have come a long way from their last album and are clearly committed.

Janelle Monae The ArchAndroid (Bad Boy) Because of this album’s pure melodic originality I have chosen to include this in my list. I never considered this album until a young music enthusiast sitting beside me in the library caught a glimpse of the draft I was working on for this article and mentioned how I forgot to put this album on my list. Because I wouldn’t dream of disrespecting a fellow music lover I considered his suggestions. I am glad I did, because this album is just the injection of psychedelic soul-funk I needed.

LCD Soundsystem This is Happening (Virgin) This is Happening is LCD Soundsystem’s third and supposedly final album, if the rumor is true. They have discovered the perfect way for all of us to remember them. Go out with a bang and a wicked album that delivers the punchy dance hits fueled by a road trip like momentum. The band’s self-deprecating indie style has propelled them into cult status with the soft shoed twenty-something hipsters and although at times they sound like a bunch of garage band synth-Gen X’ers , it seems to work for them. And with songs like “Home” and “Somebody’s Calling Me” this will no doubt be an album to remember.

MUSIC BRIEFS: Sasquatch! Music Festival announced the Foo Fighters as 2011’s first headliner. Presale tickets, including a 4-day pass and camping, went on sale Saturday, Nov. 20. Lykke Li’s sophomore album Wounded Rhymes set to be released March 1, 2011.

page eight | November 23 2010 | vol. 3 issue 08

MUSIC

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

FICTION INSPIRED BY MUSIC

CONCERT REVIEW

Wish Upon a Wayward Star I

JARED VAILLANCOURT CREATIVE WRITING BUREAU CHIEF

“

Where are you going?” she asked. He opened his eyes. “Home,” he replied. The holographic representation of the woman who was barely human cocked her head to one side, considering him. He smiled down at her. “Yours and mine.” His ship was unnamed. He closed his eyes and considered it; centuries had gone by. Traveling at the speed of light, time didn’t move for him. Millennia had passed with each blink, as time and space took its toll on the immense explorer vessel he not only called his home; he called it his body. He looked down at the hologram from his perch high up within the core, blinking as the bright electrical impulses of his thoughts flowed along the long cords and wiring connecting the synthetic shell of his mind to the ship. “I do not understand,” the woman replied, her accent so thick he almost didn’t understand her. The millennia he had spent mapping the galaxy had seen the human race change into something he barely recognized; her life-sized hologram stood almost eye-to-eye with him two stories above the deck. Pinky fingers had become extra thumbs, ankles had become second knee joints and skin was no longer smooth and oily, but mottled gray and scaly. Secondary gills fluttered on her neck, distracting from the opal pendant everyone seemed to wear. He smiled at her; at least that gesture hadn’t changed. “You’ll see,” he promised. The hologram blinked her bright black eyes. He looked ahead as the immense blast shield at the front of the core, unopened for centuries, responded to his thoughts and began to lift away. The woman’s hologram vanished as she turned her attention to the screens back aboard her ship. He smiled. Her ship was named the Iilar. The blast shield revealed a true view of the stars beyond the decaying hull. The planet was alien to him, but he gasped at its eternal beauty nonetheless. Behind the blackened ball was a giant star at the end of its days, a dying leviathan of such sorrowful orange it tricked his coolant system to leak a stray droplet from his ancient, dried-out tear ducts. The woman’s hologram appeared. “Are you sure this is the world?” she asked. A long, graceful arm draped with silk from a creature whose name he

could never hope to pronounce gestures at the window. “This planet has been stripped. The oceans hold no water and the soil can rear no life. The star has boiled away its atmosphere.” She looked up at him and touched her pendant. “This world is dead.” “This is the world,” he replied. “I’m sure of it.” He closed his eyes and concentrated, sifting through systems the ship had never intended to use. Chemical thrusters and external guidance scanners had atrophied in the unforgiving depths of space, but he didn’t need the all the systems to be functioning optimally. The hologram vanished as she checked her instruments to confirm what he was doing. Under his careful direction, the dying ship descended towards the burnt-out world. Gravity fought with guidance as he carefully angled the mas sive bow towards the surface, gliding gently across the weak fields of the magnetosphere as the unnamed ship fell towards the forgotten world. The blast shield closed as rock and dust

ascended to fill the window. He closed his eyes as the hull slammed onto the planet and the ship carved out its final grave. “An island all my own,” he whispered. He reached up with hands that creaked and groaned in protest, shedding rust and coolant as he tore the cords and wires out of the back of his shell. Sirens and klaxons screamed mutedly as he ripped free from his body, falling to the deck and stumbling as his legs tried to remember what to do. He stood up as the blast door opened, revealing the shattered window. Carefully, minding his eroding body, he climbed out onto the hull of his ship. High in the sky, the immense sun made its deadly heat known. Soon it would all be over. He smiled. “Kirithyee?” a voice asked. He turned to look back at the

hologram, as she appeared to tower over him atop a scanner plate. Without the aid of the core, it took him a second to translate the word. Were there any air, the pet name would have made him laugh. He spread his arms wide and fell to his knees. “Look at this world,” he whispered, his thoughts transmitted through the radio transceiver embedded in his neck. “You see a dead, decaying and doomed planet. You look into the sky and are wary of the star that moans its death throws. You check your instruments and scoff at the radiation and declare this place unfit.” He turned to look at her. “Do you know what I see?” he asked. Her hand touched her pendant. “What?” “Terra,” he whispered to the mountains east of the ship. “Gaia,” to the dried-up ocean to the west. He closed his eyes and angled his head to the dying sun. “Sol,” he addressed it. He bowed his head. Slowly he stood up and walked to the edge of the hull, climbing down the exposed inner compartments and burnt outer equipment until his feet touched the barren rock. He looked up at the hologram as she reappeared before him. “Earth.” “The lost home?” she asked. “The world of our ancestors? This is our planet?” She looked around, her skin turning brown as a tear fell from her eye. Together, they watched the sunset. When it was over, he fell to his knees. The sudden cold brought cracks to his shell. She considered him. “There isn’t long, is there?” he asked. She grabbed her pendant, squeezing it tight. More holograms flashed into existence as the crew of the Iilar appeared, each man, woman and pre-gender staring at him with awe and sorrow in their eyes. They saluted him. “Welcome home,” their leader, whispered, her voice catching in her throat. Together, the creatures that had come from humans vanished, the bright star of the Iilar winking out as it fled the inevitable. He felt his hand reach down and pick up a stone before his body froze solid. “Five billion years,” he thought as the Sun boiled and bubbled, “It’s good to be back.” An hour after his death, the sun blossomed, and trillions throughout the galaxy cried at the beauty of the brilliant supernova.

ILLUSTRATION BY JARED VAILLANCOURT/ THE RUNNER

Ozzy still rocking his throne of darkness

COURTESY OF OZZY OSBOURNE OFFICIAL WEBSITE

KRISTI ALEXANDRA CULTURE EDITOR

any might have had the impression that seeing The Prince of Darkness perform at Rogers Arena on Nov. 14 would be a novelty. The guy’s a washed-up old acid head, you might think. He’ll never be as bad ass as his facade implied in the ‘70s. He’s a reality-show has-been, for satan’s sake. But at least you’ll get to say you’ve seen Ozzy Osbourne live. And to illustrate just how seriously some of the showgoers were taking him–well, let’s just say there were more than a couple DIO shirts walking around the place. In the words of Michelle Tanner: How Rude! But if you did, indeed, enter the arena doors with the notion that you’d end the night shrugging your shoulders and saying “ehh, I saw Ozzy before he died,” you left a changed Ozzy fan. The 61-year-old metal legend has managed to stay quite contemporary during his long reign as the prince of darkness. Opening his show with reel-to-reel clips of himself superimposed into clips of Jersey Shore, Iron Man and Lady Gaga’s video for Telephone elicited a ton of laughs but the crowd went especially wild during a clip of popular culture’s favourite vampire film, Twilight. The ever-boring Kristen Stewart opens the dialogue saying “I know what you are...”, cue clip from Ozzy in grim-reaper attire responding “say it.” “Vampire,” Stewart whispered. “VAMPIRES ARE PUSSIES,” Ozzy retorted. “I”M THE PRINCE OF FUCKING DARKNESS!” At that point, any doubt that Ozzy wasn’t still totally batshit crazy was squashed, and the night launched into hellinspired mayhem with “Bark At The Moon.” Most people

got out of their seats to give the leading man the headbanging nod that he deserves for his years in service to the metal genre. And his backing band wasn’t bad either, with guitarist Gus G leading the group in panty-melting riffs. Yep. Completely panty-melting. The night turned out to be quite a treat for Sabbath fans as Ozzy and his band paid tribute by playing a few numbers off of Paranoid. Kicking off his Sabbath-inspired set with “Iron Man” and “Fairies Wear Boots,” members of the audience from 15 to 65 screamed out the lyrics with the legendary singer taking breaks to drench his fans with a regulation firefighter’s hose. Screams were aplenty throughout the arena, although Ozzy kept hyping the crowd by yelling “I CAN’T FUCKING HEAR YOU!” An interlude showcased the talents of Ozzy’s band members, including a lengthy and impressive wailing solo from Gus G which had every girl and her mom swooning. Jesus, that guy is good with his hands. Ozzy came back with the much awaited “Crazy Train” and played many more, showing that he’s still got the vocal chops and the attitude to stay on his throne. Nearly capping the band’s set at twoand-a-half hours, the second encore was the heartfelt ballad “Mama, I’m Coming Home,” which the Oz dedicated to the late DIO, showing that there were no hard feelings between he and Ronnie James, nor the attendees who decided to wear his shirt. The screaming audience managed to nick one more off the legendary Iron Man, when he came back a third time with “Paranoid.” I’ll say it again, if you thought you were going to come out of Ozzy Osbourne’s concert at the Rogers Arena with a novelty experience, you left with much more.

CULTURE

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

vol. 3 issue 08 | November 23 2010 | page nine

THEATER

JAMMIN’ WITH GROAT

Kwantlen’s Got Talent: Jennifer Campbell l

This is Jeff Groat. Ordinarily, he writes our weekly sex column but this week he’s traded in his fuzzy handcuffs for a pair of headphones. This is what he had to say about it.

MV: How long did you rehearse with the crew?

MAE VELASCO CURRENT EVENTS BUREAU CHIEF

ennifer Campbell, KSA’s Langley Director, starred in Over the River and Through the Woods. Campbell performs as Caitlen O’Hare who plays as bait for Nick Cristano (Benjamin Ettenberg). Cristano decides he wants to move to Seattle leaving his wonderful grandparents behind to take up a promotion for a marketing executive job. His grandparents do not want to let him go so they find a way to try and convince him to stay and this is where O’Hare uses her charm. Apparently, Cristano has no reason to stay so his grandparents – Frank Gianelli (Dan Tribe), Aida Gianelli (Lonna Peters), Nunzio Cristano (Mike Runté), and Emma Cristano (Pat Bird) use O’Hare since she’s single to just stay and not leave to go to Seattle. Nick Cristano is the only grandson who came to dinner every Sunday and was around for his aging grandparents. I personally enjoyed the play done by The Murrayville Performers. Onstage, the characters had great chemistry. Watching the play with older grandparents who they themselves played the role of the grandparents was simply inspiring. They were funny and meshed well together. Campbell did a stellar performance along with the cast. The play flowed smoothly and was just awesome. I would definitely see another play. Thumbs up for a performance well done!

Beatles never sounded worse

JEFF GROAT LIFESTYLE BUREAU CHIEF

JC: The second week of August was the rehearsals. MV: Who’s your inspiration in life? JC: That’s a tough one. I have many inspirations in my life. One of them is Idina Menzel and the other one is Kristen Chenoweth because they’re just groundbreaking stars. My brother, niece, and nephew are a big part of me as well. MV: Are you going to join other plays as well? DOREEN WILLUSHAW

Interview with Jennifer Campbell Mae Velasco: So why did you decide to do the play? Jennifer Campbell: I’ve been acting since I was seven. The director I worked with named, Ellie King contacted me and I decided to go for it. The audition was a good learning experience. I was thinking I wouldn’t get it [a role], but I did.

JC: Yes, look for me in the play directed by Ellie King in Alice in Wonderland from December 16, 2010 – January 2, 2011 done by the Royal Canadian Theatre Company. It’s a British Pantomime. This will be held at the Surrey Arts Centre where I play the character Daisy. I’m one of the Dame’s three daughters. More information can be found online at www.rctheatreco.com or www.arts.surrey.ca

he Beatles never sounded worse. This past week, Apple reached a deal with The Beatles to sell the Fab Four’s music over iTunes, making the list of big name holdouts that much smaller. Within the first two days, sales have skyrocketed.Over 40 years since The Beatles broke up, they continue to sell music – they even ranked in the top three of total album sales last year. Ironically, the sound quality of their music arguably is worse now than it ever was. Yes, digital music has been

around for years – CDs and MP3s changed the industry for good and the iPod is Apple’s greatest success story. Convenience and a brilliant marketing campaign mean that everyone carries a sizable collection of albums and songs around with them in his or her pockets, now for a lot of people this will include Sgt. Pepper’s and Revolver. But something’s missing. Digital files are compressed to shit – a computer program decides that certain bits of data are very similar to other bits and deletes them, making file sizes more iPod-able. The problem is that these extra bits of sound info are what give a magnum opus like the entire fucking Beatles’ catalogue its rich and textured sound. So go ahead, buy some digitized music. But do yourself a favour and buy a turntable and some vinyl, and crank it.

GINGER IN THE SACK

Ladies: say yes to the lingerie This is Kristi Alexandra. Ordinarily, she writes our (somewhat) weekly music column, but this week, she’s taken Groat’s post as resident sexy person. Enjoy!

I have many inspirations in my life. One of them is Idina Menzel and the other one is Kristen Chenoweth...

I DOREEN WILLUSHAW

KRISTI ALEXANDRA CULTURE EDITOR

adies, it’s that time of year. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. The time of year that red, velvet teddies with faux-fur trim around the breasts start showing up in La Senza displays. Mannequins in smutty elf costumes with candy-cane striped thigh-highs and Christmas coloured corsets beckon naughty window shoppers. In the past, I’ve thought of kitschy lingerie (like sexy Mrs. Santa suits) as cheesy and unsexy. I’ve thought “what’s the point? It all comes off anyways.”I was wrong. Here’s why. Even men who are in sexually satisfying relationships, who have frequent (and frequenly wild) sex watch pornography. They watch in on the internet, they watch in on DVD, they look at it in magazines like FHM, Hustler and Playboy–and honey,

STUDENT ART

ANTONIO SU/THE RUNNER

if you think that’s untrue, you’re lying to yourself. So why do men love to rub one out to porn or pictures of Adriana Lima in negligee? Because, to put it bluntly, they want a girl who looks like she wants to fuck. And nothing says “I want to fuck” more than going to the effort to dress up in lace and satin and thigh-highs. As my boyfriend affectionately calls it: “girl’s got Dick Eyes.”Yes, “Dick Eyes” are a good thing. And don’t think I’m being sexist here, lingerie can equally give a woman “Clit Eyes,” if Clit Eyes are the kind of eyes you’re looking for. The girls in Hustler get it, Madonna gets it, Xtina gets it. Women in New York who rarely take their three-inch plus heels off get it. You’ve got to put the effort in–to look smokin’, that is– to get what you want out of it. In my humble opinion, you can forget the cutesy Santa’s Little Helper costume and go straight for the black lace corset with garters–crotchless. It’s classic and sexy at the same time. Who’s been a naughty, naughty girl this year?

page ten | November 23 2010 | vol. 3 issue 08

THE RUNNER The Runner is student owned and operated by Kwantlen Polytechnic University students, published under Polytechnic Ink Publishing Society.

EDITORIAL

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

OPINION

Are you eating real food?

Vol. 3, Issue no. 08 November, 23 2010 ISSN# 1916-8241

Chef Michael Smith came to Kwantlen to educate students on “real food.” His message was loud and clear: stop eating processed “foods” and learn how to cook. This writer agrees.

#205-12877 76 Ave. Surrey, B.C. V3W 1E6 www.runnerrag.ca 778-565-3801

EDITORIAL DIVISION: Co-ordinating Editor // Abby Wiseman editor@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3803 Culture Editor // Kristi Alexandra culture@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3804 News Editor // Kassandra Linklater news@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3805 Production Editor // Cat Yelizarov production@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3806 Media Editor // Matt Law media@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3806

BUREAU CHIEFS:

ABBY WISEMAN CO-ORDINATING EDITOR

Chef Michael Smith of Food Network’s Chef at Home graced Kwantlen students with a stimulating talk this week at Surrey Campus. He raised an interesting point saying that people do not really eat food, but instead line their stomachs with processed substitutes for food and wonder why they don’t feel very good. As a foodie who rarely eats things that are frozen or premade, I have to agree with Smith: people don’t eat food. I’ve also noticed that a lot of people don’t really cook. After a long day, I find therapy in chopping up some vegetables. But when I talk to people about cooking, I’ve found that many people find cooking a source of stress. Instead of getting lost in sautéing onions, they worry that the onions are going to taste bad. I put the question to Smith, “why do some people find cooking stressful?” His response was simple: one or two generations have

point. Sometimes my food isn’t lost their relationship with that good, but instead of thinkcooking. ing I suck at cooking I think “I’ll Many people grew up not add some more chili to it next having to help Mom or Dad out time.” in the kitchen, because they eiNot only is the skill of cookther weren’t interested or their ing important for your body, parents didn’t cook. but also the bodies of future Unless you’re like me, who generations. Whatever you put baked biscuits as a six-yearinto your body will affect the old whether Mom liked it or children you bare, and passnot, there’s a good chance that ing along the skill of cooking you didn’t develop a healthy will ensure the health of future relationship with cooking and generations. don’t feel at ease in the kitchen. Creating and cookHe raised another good point, ing food is a part of our saying that people who claim human nature, so stop that they can’t cook are kidding themselves. He said it would be hard to believe that that one person is the only person in a hundred thousand years of evolution that couldn’t cook. o So taking the time to t to o N try out some new y od. mainl o recipes is really f just getting over Eat h, and t it? c yourself and folmu ts. Go n lowing your basic pla primal instincts. His remedy for those who get totally bent out of shape over boiling some water is to go into the kitchen not expecting perfection. I agree with his

thinking that you’re the special one who can’t toast toast and try making something simple, like spaghetti. As for what to eat, Smith quotes Michael Pollan author of In Defense of Food: “eat food, not too much and mainly plants.” Sounds fair enough to me.

COURTESY OF KPU PRESS RELEASE

Arts & Design // Antonio Su Creative Writing // Jared Vaillancourt

PRESIDENT’S HEAD

Current Events // Mae Velasco Entertainment // Hayley Woodin Environmental // (Vacant) Health // Carlie Auclair Lifestyle // Jeff Groat Politics // Paul Li Sports // Kyle Benning

David Atkin-iwo-jima-son

Student Affairs // (Vacant) Travel // Matthew Bossons

CONTRIBUTORS: Sarine Gulerian, Melissa Fraser Cover Art // Cat Yelizarov

BUSINESS DIVISION: Operations Manager, Ads, Classifieds // DJ Lam ops@runnerrag.ca 778-688-3797 Office Co-ordinator // Victoria Almond office@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3802 Operations Assistant // Brittany Tiplady

MELISSA FRASER/THE RUNNER

THE RUNNER PRESENTS PUB NIGHT Come have a BURGER and a BEER with The Runner at Central City Pub and have a chance to win some door PRIZES and hang with some writer types. All proceeds go to PIPS

WHERE: Central City Pub 13450 102nd ave., Surrey WHEN: November 29, 2010 from 6:30 p.m. onwards COST: $16 a ticket includes burger and a beer

Questions and info: editor@runnerrag.ca or news@runnerrag.ca

PROCRASTINATION

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

vol. 3 issue 08 | November 23 2010 | page eleven

BEN HORNE - DINGER

HOROSCOPE

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22 - Dec. 21

Your childhood dream will be realized this week but it’s not the good one.

CAPRICORN Dec. 22 - Jan.19 SCORPIO Oct. 23 - Nov. 21

Don’t overdo it with the hot sauce. Your colon needs a break.

Your ideas are important... just not to anybody else.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20 - Feb. 19

Love is on the rise. So is herpes.

PISCES Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

Children can play an important role in your life. You can get top dollar for them on the black market.

ARIES Mar. 21 - Apr.19

A new hobby or activity will eliminate stress. Take up being an asshole.

TAURUS Apr. 20 - May 20

Don’t be afraid to be a little different. Just not too different.

RIP OFF KWANTLEN

GEMINI May 21 - June 20

There is money heading your way. Duck.

CANCER June 21 - July 22

Don’t underestimate the power of imitation crab meat.

LEO July 23 - Aug. 22

VIRGO Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

Talk about cheese this week, it will make you sound smart.

LIBRA Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

Watch out for guys named Kevin. You never can trust a Kevin.

Size up your situation and respond with interpretative dance.

THE SMART ZONE

Oh Sodexo

I thought we were done with you. Honestly, I was tired of hearing about you, but then you had to go and pull something like this. I was hungry, I came to you (reluctantly) for nourishment and you sent me away. It was a normal weekday, around 3 or 4 p.m. and your doors were shut. I find it hard to comprehend, in my low-blood-sugar-fueled-delirium, why a business which sells food to students would be closed at a time like this. University students eat all the time, this isn’t news, we eat constantly and we need this constant fuel to help us procrastinate from school work. Procrastination takes a lot of energy believe it or not. I have one message for you Sodexo, stay open ya jerks.

WEIRD STUFF: STUFF IS WEIRD A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off - it dies from starvation. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is “uncopyrightable” Clinophobia is the fear of beds. Source: strangefacts.com

page twelve | November 23 2010 | vol. 3 issue 08

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

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