Vol. 3 Issue 10 by The Runner

NEWS AND CULTURE FOR THE STUDENTS OF KWANTLEN POLYTECHNIC UNIVERSITY

THE QMUNITY TAKES DOWN BULLYING P 02

WIKILEAKS DOES IT AGAIN P 03

SAINT OR A SCROOGE? P 05

LETTERS TO SANTA P 07

VOL. 3 ISS VOL ISSUE 10 | DEC DECEMB DECEMBER BER 0 08 08, 2010

page two | December 08 2010 | vol. 3 issue 10

NEWS & POLITICS

BULLYING

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

AROUND KWANTLEN

The realities of social media and bully A look into how social media is changing the role of bullying in the gay community

MICHAEL O’MORROW CONTRIBUTOR

Dan Savage, renowned columnist and an openly gay man, launched the “It Gets Better” project in September 2010 in response to teenage bullying and resulting gay teen suicides. The message is aimed at encouraging youth who are suffering, while condemning the actions of the bullies. It questions why this issue remains, and pushes for action and change. Jennifer Breakspear is the Executive Director of QMUNITY, British Columbia’s resource centre for the gay, lesbian, transgendered and bisexual community. She supports the “It Gets Better” project, and empathizes with struggling youth. “Being a teenager sucks,” she says, “and being a teenager who is different sucks even more.” Breakspear argues the cause of bullying amongst teenagers is rooted in the messages our young people receive. “If someone is at all inclined to push power dynamics, to lord something over someone else, it can only be fed if they’re hearing things elsewhere that substantiate that behaviour.” She says the positive messaging that youth receive starts at home. It must be reinforced in schools, and be supported by traditional media. But as young people continue to turn away from traditional media outlets, she worries about the messages spread by social media. “It concerns me what young people can watch and hear on websites like Facebook and YouTube,” she says. “These sites aren’t moderated, and anybody with access to a computer can sit down and post a video or comments ranting against a segment of the population. While most people would hopefully see him or her as a raving idiot, if an individual is at all impressionable and open to those ideas, it seeps into their subconscious.” Hate crimes are extreme examples of bullying and have been linked to various attacks

on members of the LGBT community in Vancouver over the last two years. While it is important to recognize hate crimes as they occur in that community, Langara College Professor Indira Prahst argues we mustn’t forget the other marginalized groups who suffer as well. “Hate crime has been very much tagged with the gay and lesbian community and we need to ask ourselves why that is. We can’t forget the other communities who face this struggle as well, including the Jewish, Muslim, and South Asian populations.” Prahst is the coordinator of the sociology department at Langara College. She has worked as an activist and regularly speaks out on issues of civil equality and hate crime. She supports the LGBT community in their fight against bullying and hate crime, but she also argues there is a double standard. Where Breakspear identified social media as a source for bullying, Prahst argues that our education system isn’t doing enough to teach kids the importance of equality and acceptance. “I get 18 year old kids out of high school who have no idea how to think. Somewhere in the last two decades we’ve stopped encouraging our young people to ask questions and challenge the status quo. We need our youth to think critically and start asking why certain messages, positions and stereotypes exist.” And it is challenging those stereotypes that Prahst identifies as being the first of two steps in reducing bullying and hate crime. “First, we need to deconstruct stereotypes. People bully and commit hate crime when they believe they are superior to another person, or see that other person as a liability or a threat. We need to stop associating the effeminate stereotype with gay men, the terrorist stereotype with Muslims, and violent stereotypes with South Asian men. When we do that, those populations will become identified as equal to the

others. “Second, we need precedent-setting court cases that involve hate crime. We need judges to give harsh sentences to violent offenders and to say this behaviour is not acceptable in Canada. We need our court system to work as a deterrent for anyone considering committing a hate crime.” Breakspear is encouraged by the recent wave of support for kids suffering from bullying, and hopes that it develops into lasting change. “It’s easy for the LGBT community to think it has it pretty good. But incidents like we’ve seen in the last two months involving kids and suicides have sparked the community to take notice.” Flash responses, as Breakspear calls them, are those moments when a community does in fact take notice of an issue. They galvanize a community and bring people around an issue. But those flash responses dissipate with time. While important, Breakspear concedes flash responses don’t bring about long lasting change. “We need people to get involved long-term in their own way in their own time. I would love for that to mean volunteering or donating to QMUNITY, but whatever works for the individual and motivates them to work towards a lasting change is important to the cause.” Prahst is feeling hopeful for the future. Like Breakspear, Phrast agrees it will take more than flash responses to the issue of bullying and hate crime to bring about lasting change. It will take commitment to the issue, and a willingness to ask questions and challenge current beliefs. Prahst also says it takes strong individuals willing to take charge. “Some people are meant to lead, others meant to follow. What we need are strong individuals willing to lead, willing to question, willing to challenge. When we find these people, we need to nurture them and clear a path for them to be heard. Then, as others follow, a sustained change will be possible.”

WHAT’S HAPPENING AT KWANTLEN

DEC

08 2010

Green Wednesdays! WHERE: Langley Campus (Room 1325) WHEN: 7:00pm WHAT: Join us for our monthly talk on environmental issues. This will feature the movie “Tapped” followed by a discussion on this issue.

DEC

2010

Music @ Midweek WHERE: Langley Campus - Auditorium WHEN: 12:15pm-1:00pm WHAT: Swing by the Langley Campus Auditorium and hear your fix from Kwantlen’s musically inclined. This week will feature the Kwantlen Guitar and Percussion Ensembles.

DEC

08 2010

KSA Surrey Council meeting WHERE: KSA Offices - Surrey Campus 1240 WHEN: 12:00pm WHAT: Find out what the KSA has been up to and have your thoughts and opinions heard on important student issues.

DEC

12 2010

Horticulture Holiday Open House WHERE: Langley Campus - Horticulture Field Lab WHEN: 11:00am-2:00pm WHAT: Enjoy Christmas with good friends, food, and holiday music played live by students from Kwantlen’s Music Department.

NURSING

Students open sex clinic

Surrey Mayor Diane Watts spoke of the importance of the clinic and donated $2000, on behalf of the city of Surrey to the project. ABBY WISEMAN /THE RUNNER

Kwantlen nursing students held a grand opening for a student initiated health service centre for immigrant women on Dec. 2 in Surrey. Fourth-year nursing students Krista Rohachuck-Smith, Kathryn Hull, Brinne Southcott and Gilian Fantillo worked in conjunction with Progressive Intercultural Community Services Society (PICS), an organization who advocating for the education of individual rights for immigrants. The purpose is to create a confidential and free clinic for

ABBY WISEMEN COODINATING EDITOR

immigrant women. The initiative is part of a nursing course called Health and Professional Growth: Influencing Change. The semester-long course requires students to get involved in the community through nursing. Students who took the course in the Spring 2010 semester worked on the logistics of the clinic such as location, furniture and funding. The project was picked up by this semester’s nursing students and put into practice. “We all come from the same background, and we’re all pretty liberated,” said Rohachuck-Smith. “It was really

shocking to hear some of the stories of abuse and oppression and to realize that there is such a deficit in knowledge that we just kind of take for granted.” The four students are getting a first-hand experience of dealing with women who have little to no sexual education and have realized the need for a safe and confidential place for immigrant women to go. Come January, a new group of nursing students will take over the project, but the four women say that they want to stay connected to the project. Surrey Mayor Diane Watts was in attendance and donated $2,000.

NEWS & POLITICS

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

SUCCESS STORIES

vol. 3 issue 10 | December 08 2010 | page three

DISNEY SMILES

Students to show at Montreal Fashion week Kwantlen donates Three Fashion Design students earn a coveted place among 25 finalists to show balloons to Hospital at the TELIO Design competition

Kwantlen students Kristen Yip, Earl Mabaquiao and Laura Nickel, competed against 429 submissions from 21 different design schools. COURTESY OF KWANTLEN

MATTHEW BOSSONS TRAVEL BUREAU CHIEF

For the second year in a row, students from Kwantlen Polytechnic University’s Fashion and Technology program are finalists in the 2011 TELIO Design Competition. Earl Mabaquiao, Laura Nickel and Kristen Yip were up against 429 submissions from 21 design schools across Canada, they are three of the remaining 25 finalists. All finalists will have to

prepare a garment of their own design based on design sketches from the preliminary selection process. These garments must follow the theme “the Great Canadian North.” Their creations will be put on the runway during Montreal Fashion Week for a chance to win one of five $10,000 scholarships. The winners will be announced in March. “Last year we had two third year students who were finalists in the competition,”

said Micheal Pope, a KPU design instructor and competition liaison. “The TELIO Competition has only been open Canadawide for three years, including 2010-2011.” The TELIO Design Competition is organized by the textile company TELIO, based out of Montreal, and is an annual event open to design students Canada-wide. “The students are introduced to the project very early in the fall semester, all second and third year students are invited to participate,” said Pope. “This year we had 16 students participate and we sent seven submissions.” “The Kwantlen Fashion Design and Technology Program is very proud to have three design finalists this year,” said Pope. “To have three of the 25 finalists from our university speaks to the talent of our students.” For more information on Kwantlen’s Bachelor of Design and Fashion and Technology program visit the website at kwantlen.ca/design

Top: Arthur Coren, dean of Kwantlen’s School of Business gave balloons to baby Tanuir Sandha that brought a big smile to her face. Bottom: Monica Nicol, manager of the Family Birthing Unit (middle) and Sherri Lalonde (right), child life specialist at Surrey Memorial Hospital accept balloons from Arthur Coren (left), dean of Kwantlen’s School of Business. Courtesy of Kwantlen.

POLITICAL COLUMN

Meet the Kwantlen Political Science Society (KPSS). They have hijacked our political column. Every week they will talk about a different political issue and explain how it relates to you. Every week will feature a guest columnist. Check it out.

Opinion: WikiLeaks: A great idea, but where’s the responsibility?

PAUL LI POLITICS BUREAU CHIEF

WikiLeaks has done it again. On Nov. 28, the whistleblowing website released around 250,000 documents from the U.S. State Department, ranging from mundane documents to 15,000 labelled “secret” and 9,000 labelled “NOFRON”, or “not for foreigners.” The release has greatly embarrassed the U.S. government, as the contents include candid descriptions by U.S. diplomats of foreign officials and reports of events and conversations, including one calling French president Nicholas Sarkozy an “emperor with no clothes.” There is a legitimate case for the release of documents that show those in positions of power actively trying to mislead the public into believing concoctions for their own self benefit. There is little doubt that government cover-ups, banks trying to hide their true financial health or companies trying to bribe public officials should have their actions revealed to the public. In these cases, it is clear that the public’s “right to know” the truth has a clear social benefit. However, this last release by WikiLeaks is different. The documents leaked are called “diplomatic cables,” a throwback to the old days when embassies round the world were literally linked to their home offices by

wires, and they communicated with their home governments using telegrams. For the most part, these messages contain mundane information: what the diplomats are doing, what events they’ve been to, what their impression of so-and-so is. The more details the diplomats can provide, the more data analysts at home have to decide on how to conduct policy- by finding out information such as who’s going to vote how in coming UN meetings, which politicians are on the rise and which are on their way out, which businessmen are more likely to invest where. By the very nature of such work, a lot of the information contained transmitted by diplomats is sensitive. We all know that the way we express ourselves changes depending on who we’re talking to. We don’t use the same words to talk to our friends as we would to our parents, or to professors. It’s the same with countrieswhat the U.S. says to Israel might not be exactly the same thing it says to Saudi Arabia or Egypt. But now, suddenly, it has all been revealed to the public, and your teacher knows he was the topic of discussion between your friends, and furthermore knows exactly what you were talking about. Furthermore, diplomats play key roles in getting information

out of secretive locations. In countries where the media are muzzled by the government, people will sometimes talk to diplomats hoping to bring international attention to their plights- that’s how the world first heard of the human abuses perpetrated in Timor L’Este in 1999. Yet, under threat of having their names and words published on the internet, who’s going to brave coming forward? Some diplomatic exchanges concern international strategy. The US and South Korea have been plotting strategy for months on what to do should the North Korean regime collapse. Surprise, those exchanges are now public- and you can bet that China and North Korea are making sure their strategists are looking them over. Understandably, some of the cables are of public interest. The US offered vast sums of money to the island nation of Kiribati to accept Guantanamo prisons. East European heads of state were offered meetings with President Obama if they accepted a few- otherwise they could forget about ever shaking hands with “the man.” That these nations are essentially being bribed or coerced to take on prisoners is of concern. That Canadian businessmen are having to work in a climate “choked with corruption” to secure mining rights in Kyrgyzstan-

which required the president’s son getting “his share” is of concern, especially if the businessmen are being assisted by the government. By disclosing these actions, the public’s heightened awareness can lead to corrective measures. In cases such as these, WikiLeaks must show its editorial responsibility, and publish those documents that are of actual value to the public. There is little to be gained by the public in reading what Jane told Peter about Susan and Will talking about a party the latter went to, even if the US Ambassador really was invited to a party that featured a Rolls Royce, AK47’s and “stupendously fat guests.” And did the world really need to know about Libyan dictator Moammar Ghadafi’s “voluptuous blonde” nurse? Is the world a better place for knowing it? An oft quoted analogy is that the world is just a large high school and the U.S. is the teenager whose diary has just been photocopied and plastered all over the walls. Embarrassing? Very. Was it really necessary to show it in its entirety? No. If there was something important that should’ve been brought to light, then by all means let that specific section be revealed. The rest is just gossip- and the world might just be worse off for it.

The idea behind Wikileaks I PAUL LI

The concept of WikiLeaks is simple and laudable. People that work within organizations (public or private) may at some point find themselves with access to information that they consider the wider public should know about, yet are prohibited by the normal rules- e.g. its private company information, or its been classified by the government. Given that a single person might feel threatened if they speak out alone, WikiLeaks provides them with an avenue to provide the information on a worldwide stage- all they have to do is submit the documents online. Since its inception in 2006, the organization has done a remarkable job of bringing to public light documents that have been hidden from the public light by “the powers that be”be it governments or private organizations.

page four | December 08 2010 | vol. 3 issue 10

SPORTS

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WOMEN’S BASKETBALL

MEN’S BASKETBALL

Men’s: Charges shock Eagles I

Despite coming off of a win last week, the women’s team were not able to maintain the momentum to pull of another win. JOCELYN GOLLNER/THE RUNNER

Women’s Eagles: Choke on Charger Press I

DOMINIC SRAMATY CONTRIBUTOR

The Kwantlen Eagles women’s basketball team took on the Comosun Chargers on the weekend of Nov. 26 looking for their third and fourth wins of the season. The Eagles came in Friday night after defeating the Columbia Bible College Bearcats twice the weekend before. The Eagles started both games with great pace, and held the Chargers within single digit range. However, after both halftime breaks, the Chargers came out with a full-court press which the Eagles just couldn’t break. In both third quarters, the Eagles turned the ball over 12 times trying to break the press, and the Chargers capitalized.

They scored 16 points off of turnovers in the third quarter. From that point on, the Chargers built a lead the Eagles couldn’t overcome. The Eagles lost 78-57 and 86-53. Coach Matt McKay believes that the Eagles struggled to capitalize defensively in the third quarters. “There were a couple times in the third quarters where we had a lapse in intensity and communication defensively.” McKay believes that the girls didn’t play poorly, rather it was a lack of capitalization on their chances in correlation with a few turnovers. He went on to say that they “handled the press for the most part really well … it was a little bit of a mental fatigue more than anything. We just got a little sloppy with some passes.

It was the little things that made the big difference.” I believe the women aren’t keeping pace with the other teams in the league. They start extremely well, but as soon as the halftime buzzer comes, they hit a wall and fall behind. They tend to grab second wind by the start of the fourth quarter, but by then they’re down by such a margin that coming back is improbable. The women really need to find some chemistry to their game if they want to repeat last year and qualify for the provincials. They have three weeks to work out the kinks. McKay is doing a fantastic job of keeping one starting line up, but the women need to feel that they’re competing for minutes. Hopefully we will see a new Eagles team after the semester break.

KYLE BENNING SPORTS BUREAU CHIEF

The Kwantlen men’s basketball season has taken a turn for the worst as the team lost twice against Camosun on Nov. 26 and 27. Friday’s game finished with the team losing 78-68, while they lost 75-67 on Saturday. Kwantlen’s Harpreet Randhawa played exceptionally well on both sides of the ball, and was the Eagles’ highest scorer in both games. The Eagles entered this twogame home stand with a 1-4 record looking to push higher in the league standings. Kwantlen started the game poorly trailing 14-6 after the first quarter. That lead increased as the quarter dragged on as the Chargers took a 14-point lead. But the Eagles got a hold on the game and went into halftime tied at 26 thanks to Randhawa’s 11 points and six rebounds, and a lot of crowd support. The most disturbing statistic at the break was that the Kwantlen bench only scored two points, while the Camosun bench scored 16. Following the intermission, the Chargers came out strong and scored 26 points to the Eagles 14 to take a 12-point lead after the third quarter. Head coach Bernie Love seemed to rally his troops before the fourth, because they came out and scored 26 of their own in the final quarter. However, they could only match the Chargers in the fourth quarter. The Eagles failed to contain Camosun guard Blake Mansbridge who put away a game-high 27 points, and was thee-for-three beyond the arc. The entire Kwantlen team

was 16.7 per cent for three-point shooting, scoring twice from long range. The bench didn’t do the Eagles too many favours as they picked up six points after the final buzzer, while the Chargers bench put up 41. Randhawa finished the day with a team-high 22 points, nine rebounds, four steals and two blocks. The Saturday game tipped off at 3 p.m. with Kwantlen starting slowly again. After 10 minutes, they trailed 15-9. Camosun started to pull away, and took a 10-point lead during the second quarter. But again, Kwantlen fought back and went into halftime trailing by six. The Eagles were having trouble containing Charger forward Ryan Erikson. He almost put up a doubledouble with 11 points and nine rebounds after 20 minutes. Mike Corcoran was putting in a hard shift for the Eagles picking up four rebounds, three being offensive, at the half. That being said, the Eagles hadn’t scored from distance in the entire first half, throwing up eight three-pointers. After the break, the Chargers took off and put away 21 points to the Eagles 15. Mansbridge came back to haunt the Ealges putting away 17 of his game-high 22 points in the second half. Kwantlen played very well picking up rebounds and boxing out assuring that Camosun only had seven offensive rebounds throughout the game. However, the Eagles were 6.7 per cent from beyond the arc and 45.2 per cent at the line. It looked like their poor shooting resulted in the team losing by eight points in another tight affair.

WOMEN’S SOCCER

Q&A with Women’s Soccer Coach Gordon Smith I

KYLE BENNING SPORTS BUREAU CHIEF

The women’s soccer team has won two consecutive provincial titles with two different coaches. The Eagles finished fifth at the CCAA national championships this year, which was hosted by NAIT, and is bringing home the banners that fans have been craving. Head coach Gordon Smith has proved himself, and is looking forward to coming back next season. KB: How was your ﬁrst year in charge of the women’s soccer team? GS: Overall, it was really positive. I was really impressed with the play of all the girls. I really learned a lot about the league and the capabilities of our team. Winning provincials obviously was a big thrill and allowed us to get to nationals and get a good sense of what

Gordon Smith (middle) discusses his game plan with his coaching staff during the women’s 2-1 home win over the Langara Falcons on Oct. 16. KYLE BENNING/THE RUNNER

the next step is for the team. KB: What is the next step for the team? GS: We were very close, but overall, I think we need to get a little bit fitter, a little bit stronger and a little bit faster so we can play the kind of soccer that we want. KB: How was it coaching at a

national championship? GS: It was a great experience. The tournament was really well run, there was a sense of hype and excitement, there was media covering the games and it was really professional. So from that standpoint, it was great. Also meeting all the other coaches and learning about

what they’re doing was really good. KB: You had to play three games in three days. Was fatigue a factor considering that your ﬁrst game went into extra time? GS: I think so. We saw that in provincials with a couple of teams that we played. Langara had a really tough semifinal

and we were a lot fresher. So I think it did play a factor. Maybe not in the first game, but as the tournament went on, we started to slow down a little bit later in the games. I think it definitely was a factor. KB: I’m sure that you’ve surpassed what you had planned at the beginning of the year. Going into next season, what kind of foundation are you going to set? GS: I think we really want to raise the level of strength and conditioning. That’s going to be a big thing that we address between now and September. KB: What about results-wise? GS: It is very tough to win the B.C.’s and get to nationals. I think we are going to have to be stronger; we will have some players that won’t return and we will have to try and replace them as best as we can. Maybe try and have a stronger league season so we can get that [firstround] bye in the first game [of provincials].

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vol. 3 issue 10 | December 08 2010 | page ﬁve

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THE RUNNER The Runner is student owned and operated by Kwantlen Polytechnic University students, published under Polytechnic Ink Publishing Society. Vol. 3, Issue no. 08 November, 23 2010 ISSN# 1916-8241 #205-12877 76 Ave. Surrey, B.C. V3W 1E6 www.runnerrag.ca 778-565-3801

EDITORIAL DIVISION: Co-ordinating Editor Abby Wiseman editor@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3803 Culture Editor Kristi Alexandra culture@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3804 News Editor Kassandra Linklater news@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3805 Production Editor Cat Yelizarov production@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3806 Media Editor Matt Law media@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3806

EDITORIAL

PERSONAL RANT

Why is our government trying to scrooge on the spirit of giving? I

MAE VELASCO CURRENT EVENTS BUREAU CHIEF

Every Christmas I’m into the spirit of giving, but this Christmas it’ll be a different story. I’m a starving student, and on top of that, the government hasn’t been paying me properly. I’m a behavioural interventionist who works for autistic children. All my paperwork, service hours, rate of pay and personal information goes to the Ministry of Children and Family Development. I love my job, but it’s December and I haven’t been receiving my June 2010 payment for work for one of the families that I work with, and one of my papers are missing for my September 2010 invoice. On Nov. 23, 2010 CBC News said that autism therapists are complaining about the late payments. Many workers have been evicted from their homes, are in debt and simply can’t pay their bills. I’m one of these workers and I do not like how this is going.

I even had to borrow money from my parents just to pay my bills on time. I’m even breaking my piggy banks to give change to the teller at the bank. I don’t know how far this is going to go. Other therapists are thinking of just dropping the job as a behavioural consultant or interventionist and they’re picking up another career just to pay their bills. I don’t want to leave my job because I love the children that I work with and have formed a close bond and attachment with them. I have a great rapport and relationship with the families and I simply care for them. I want to continue on with this work and become a behavioural consultant one day, but the government better step up and play their game right. I hate having to worry all the time about the money that

BUREAU CHIEFS: Arts & Design / Antonio Su Creative Writing / Jared Vaillancourt Current Events / Mae Velasco Entertainment / Hayley Woodin Environmental / (Vacant)

STUDENT ART

Health / Carlie Auclair Lifestyle / Jeff Groat Politics / Paul Li Sports / Kyle Benning Student Affairs / (Vacant) Travel / Matthew Bossons

CONTRIBUTORS: Michael O’Morrow, Melissa Fraser Cover Art / Cat Yelizarov, Brianne Hemmingway

BUSINESS DIVISION: Operations Manager, Ads, Classifieds DJ Lam ops@runnerrag.ca 778-688-3797 Office Co-ordinator Victoria Almond office@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3802 Operations Assistant Brittany Tiplady

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Original illustration by Antonio Su

I spend; I would love to be in the spirit of giving, but I simply can’t. Christmas is a time for happiness, joy and spending all the good times with your family and friends. I hate having a financial burden when I shouldn’t, since I’ve been working. I’ve been working for the love of my job and this better stop. The New Year is coming up and I hope the government has heard our plea. Please pay us because we’re suffering. The therapists are not the only ones suffering, but also the families and their children. Without our intervention their future is in danger. These children need us! “Oh, Christmas! Darn! Sorry, I don’t have gifts for you under the Christmas tree because of the government.” Ugh! I just hate the feeling!

So, as you can see, this Christmas is just going to be a broke one for me. I don’t have gifts for you because I’m broke because the government is just damn selfish. They don’t want to do their work, pay me properly and they lose my papers. Sure, I suffer and my fellow therapists suffer. You government people are just so malicious these days, especially this year. You think that these parents are not paying for their children’s treatments and using your money properly so you think you’d take charge of the situation. Well guess what?! They are doing what’s best for their children. It’s just you government people that want to keep that extra cash for a long time. Take action now because we’ll soon be gone and then these autistic children will have no one to look out for them. It will just be your fault. So take it into consideration. Christmas is not a good time and it’s the government’s fault. I really don’t like you right now.

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

CULTURE

vol. 3 issue 10 | December 08 2010 | page seven

LETTERS TO SANTA

Dear Santa,

Dear Santa;

. You Very, very good . ar ye is th od d makes I’ve been very go ves the world an sa an rm pe Su drug know how like e fed and the ar t ai uw K in en Well, sure the childr ming to them? co s t’ ha w t ge e been lords in Uganda good as that. I’v as es m ti n te I’ve been like s to cure cancer er w po s hi g in us s ovie like Chuck Norri Final Fantasy m e pi ap cr at w th and re-write e back right no m co to e er w s Jesu rade good. I mean, if and throw a pa al ed m g in ck fu -called he’d give me a l those other so al ng si ti as ch . , in my honour ver measure up ne ’ll ey th w ho t “do-gooders” abou at good. th Yeah, I’ve been red one, bike. Maybe a w ne a ke li I’d Anyway, please? From Jared

What up G? I want sum weed, I

ran outta dat shit

n I need about another ounce. My

and thru out ma bag when it had

homie fukd up

some fukkin weed

in it. I aint no dealer or no addict

need to chill out. This Xmas shi

dude, I just

t is gettn 2 me,

G. U kno wut I mean? I really wa

nt dat new lego

Star Warz shit that jus came out

aksed my Ma for dat shit, so I’m

, but I alreddy

aksin yu for sum

weed. My homie in Mrs. Eddison’ s class, shez like “yo chris, yu gotta do some effi n’ work, G,” an she flashed him a gang sign cuz she z opposin’ our krew. I busted out sum weed cuz she z totally getting’ R shit all crunked up an she took dat shit from me. Shez all, “G, you can’t be smoki ng dat shit, it’z not gd 4 grade 3z to be smoking da herb, ya hear?” Pleez gimme some weed Santa, G. Word up J-Krew

Hey Santa,

Canada is cold; Vancouver is cold. And even though it is not eve n close to being the coldest Canadian cit y (well, okayit’s warmer than the Nor th Pole), I am miserably bundled up and constantly suffering from a runny nos e. So, for Christmas, I would like a trip to Brazil. Preferably during Carniv al, but I’ll take whatever I can get. Get me out of here! Hayley

Dear Santa, Kristi is to you because ng ti ri w ly on I’m ess is this whole proc k in th I e. m g makin s. a little ridiculou rson what kind of pe , ly al re n ea m I the an who lives at m t fa a to s write fetish. rly has an elf ea cl d an le Po North esity and the chronic ob Not to mention cookies. obsession with me when se don’t touch Anyways, plea e 25th. my house on th you break into Thanks, Matt

Dear Santa, ve the world lo e k a m se ea n pl e guy has bee th . sh u b . w e georg ppies. ugh! Also, pu o en h g u o r th el

u -robert eman

Dear San ta Baby, All I wan t have mor for Christmas is e student t s write f o Runner. T or the hat way we could an even mo ha everyone re awesome paper ve would wa that nt to re if it’s no a d. Also, t really lik to much to ask, I e to see just once would news rac ks empty our . If you this for c o u me I pro ld do mis extra goo d this ye e to be extraar. Abby P.S. I also w that’s no ant a yacht and t a lot. really

page eight | December 08 2010 | vol. 3 issue 10

CULTURE

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

QUIZ

Are you a Saint or a Scrooge? On November 30th, you are most likely:

Your parents tell you they’ve got a little extra cash this year, you:

A] Buying a chocolate advent calendar and writing a list of people to buy for.

A] Are stoked to get some bigger presents but also realize this means you’ll have to spend some extra dough on them, too.

B] Looking up soup kitchens to volunteer at for Christmas Eve. C] Writing a Christmas WishList to give to your parents and/or Signiﬁcant Other.

B] Tell them to donate that “little extra cash” to charity instead. C] Ask for a trip to Hawai’i and a new wardrobe from Yves Saint Laurent. By mid-month, your apartment/ basement suite/abode looks like: A] All decked out with a huge Christmas tree, lights and tons of wrapped presents. You can hardly wait for the 25th to arrive! B] Some mistletoe and stockings are hanging on the mantle, but as an eco-savvy consumer, you know not to overdo it with lights and non-sustainable decor. C] It does everyday. You don’t like the Holidays, everyone expects too much of you. But you like going over to other people’s places to see if there’s a box with your name on it under the tree.

You’re in a café trying to do homework and they’re blasting Christmas music, you: A] Bob your head and sing along. Bring on the cheesy Christmas cheer. B] Hum along, but would rather be listening to change jingling as people put money into those Salvation Army donation boxes. C] Put your headphones in and turn up the Ozzy. You hate everyone and their stupid Santa hat. When it comes time to shop for people, you: A] Look everywhere for the perfect gift for each person on your list, picking a little something up for yourself along the way. B] Are making donations to WorldVision in other people’s names. Quick and socially responsible. C] Have already told everyone on your list that you’re broke, so you buy a mass amount of scratch and wins, but secretly hope that no one wins anything big.

RESULTS If you got mostly A’s: You love Christmas just as much as any other holiday. You love the feeling of giving, but you like getting, too. So what if you’re a little materialistic? Your heart’s in the right place. If you got mostly B’s: You’re all for Christmas but you hate the consumer-driven spending. You’re true to your morals and ethics and are always thinking of others. Do yourself a favour, though, and relax with some rum and ‘nog for a second. If you got mostly C’s: You’re a regular Scrooge McDuck. Lighten up and loosen that pocket book, pal. You’re so uptight you probably shit diamonds–the problem is you’d keep them for yourself.

CULTURE

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GROAT IN THE SACK

HOLIDAY ACTIVITIES

Naughty is nice: XXX-mas themed sex positions

JEFF GROAT LIFESTYLE BUREAU CHIEF

The holiday season is a cozy one, full of warm drinks, roaring fires and long nights. Here’s a list of holiday-themed sex positions to try and heat up your own fire at home.

Coal in the stockings This one’s a little gross. Gingerbread house This is where you and your partner do it standing upright, trying to imitate a house with your body. Oh Tannen-bum Go to Mexico and catch some browning rays on your behind. Then show it off, you sexy-ass.

Silver Balls I’m thinking it’s high-time for some edible body paint.

Leg-nog Too much rum and leg-nog will leave you feeling sick.

Poinsettia Penis Step one: hang poinsettia. Step two: dangle. Step three: Don’t get arrested, stay indoors.

Hanukah hanky-panky No pig-roast here, just some lovin’ by the light of the Menorah.

The red-nosed reindeer Avoid this one, make sure you use lube.

Turkey dinner Something about “stuffing.”

Kwanzaa kiss Show some love and celebrate the pan-African holiday.

Festivus ﬁnger This is a technique in answer to the over commercialized Christmas season – No bullshit.

JAMMIN’ WITH GINGER

Christmas music: enjoyable or annoying?

KRISTI ALEXANDRA CULTURE EDITOR

It’s been everywhere. In frequented coffee shops, on the radio, in department stores, on television Christmas specials. It’s the dreaded, continual haunt of holiday music. Now, truth be told, I sorely miss listening to pretentious jazz at my local espresso dig, which is now replaced by smooth-pop renditions of “Little Drummer Boy” and “Away in a manger” by some choir-girl with a record label. And I definitely wasn’t privy to listening to the Destiny’s Child Christmas album all winter last year, when I waitressed in a café over the holidays. But I do admit that I have a little-seen soft spot for some holiday music. These are just a few: Mariah Carey - All I want for Christmas is You This little gem has been going strong for over 15 years, and there’s a reason for that. Carey’s vocal ability was, and remains, unparalleled in the pop music world, and this festive little number shows both her raw talent and adds that warm nod to the wintertime relationship that we all long for.

vol. 3 issue 10 | December 08 2010 | page nine

Dr. Seuss and Albert Hague, performed by Thurl Ravenscroft You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch. If this doesn’t inspire childhood nostalgia, then I don’t know what does. Remember bringing out the Grinch VHS every holiday season? The other songs from this originally scored film do well, but none packed as much of a punch as this ominous and jazzy tune. Elvis Presley - Blue Christmas Swoon! Generations later and still Elvis is stealing young girl’s hearts with his devastating handsomeness, legendary swagger and vocal croon. I mean, I really feel that he’ll have a terribly blue Christmas if he doesn’t get to spend it with me. What a tragedy! What’s not tragic, however, is this song’s melody. Just beautiful.

Ten things to do in Vancouver before the winter’s over I

CARLIE AUCLAIR HEALTH BUREAU CHIEF

Well it’s that time of year already. It’s time to pull out all your carefully stored Christmas knick-knacks from the year before and gingerly hang them while eating ginger snaps and listening to Burl Ives. It’s time for mittens and carols; for the Grinch and your mother’s homemade treats. And my favorite part of Christmas is the plethora of fabulous winter themed activities to partake in while you are in Vancouver. Because every year I make it my mission to stuff as much Christmas activity into the holiday break, I have chosen to put together a little top ten list for your reference. Enjoy! Christmas Lights at Park and Tilford- North Vancouver This charming garden full of Christmas lights made number 10 because it’s in my old neighborhood and it’s free! It’s rare to find a Christmas activity in Vancouver that doesn’t punch your wallet in the ribs. So grab a hot chocolate and walk through this beautiful display of Christmas lights. Canyon Lights at Capilano Suspension Bridge-North Vancouver This annual holiday tradition features magical lights that sparkle over the canyon, gingerbread decorating, and glass blowing. Also all proceeds from admission go the BC Professional Fire Fighters Burn fund. A good cause while getting in the mood for Santa Claus! (Something about Christmas makes me want to rhyme) Woodward’s Windows walking tourDowntown Vancouver For the first time in 17 years the classic Woodward’s windows will be viewable in the newlyrestored Woodward’s building and in five additional locations in Vancouver’s downtown core. This is a fun way to take in some holiday scenery while getting in some disguised exercise.

Van Deusen Garden Festival of Lights- Shaughnessy, Vancouver The grandiose Van Deusen Gardens is a perfect holiday evening activity to bring your loved ones to. Santa makes an appearance along with his “Scandinavian Christmas elves,” Svend and Jens (ooook!). Not to mention there is a cornucopia of delicious holiday treats like; Thomas Haas hot chocolate, sweet and savory waffles, and fresh mini donuts. For a sweet tooth like me, those are good enough reasons for me to get my butt there! Festival of Trees at the Four Seasons Hotel- Downtown Vancouver The festival of trees is a fundraising event for the BC Children’s Hospital Foundation and a regular tradition for many a Vancouverite. Various trees donated by corporate and indivual sponsors showcase their community involvement by dressing up a spruce in the image of their cause. The public can walk around a cast a ballot for their favorite tree. This is one of the more low key Christmas events but if you are down the street having dinner, it might just be the perfect place to wander around and get in the holiday spirit. Admission is by donation, minimum $2. Ice skating on Grouse Mountain Guys! If you are looking for a romantic date to take your holiday crush, look no further because you can’t get more romantic than ice skating on top of Vancouver’s most breathtaking peak. Grab your skates and head up the mountain on a gondola. Once you’re there you’ll be making Hans Brinker look like a novice, while hopefully keeping your eye out for the mistletoe (wink wink!). Bright Nights at the Stanley Park Christmas Train- Stanley Park, Vancouver It’s not Christmas without one of my favorite places in the world; Stanley Park. Every holiday season the lights are strung and the train is fueled

up. Here’s some holiday math for you; what do you get when you add two million twinkling lights+ hot chocolate+ roasted chestnuts+9.00 admission? It equals an evening of unforgettable Christmas fun! Skiing on Mount Seymour- North Vancouver If you’ve got a hankering for winter sports then Mount Seymour is the place to do it. With its spectacular view and fairly chill prices, Mount Seymour is one of the best ways to get active in the cold. If you aren’t a fan of skiing or snowboarding then strap on a pair of snowshoes and take the slow and steady scenic route. The Goh Ballet Academy Canada’s The Nutcracker- Downtown Vancouver This is my personal favorite activity to partake during Christmas. The timeless tale of the nutcracker is brought to life by the talented and mesmerizing Goh Ballet Academy. Tickets range in the 100 dollar area, but for an enchanting evening of culture and Christmas whimsy, The Nutcracker can’t be beat. The Vancouver Christmas MarketDowntown Vancouver For the first time ever in Vancouver, we now have a German Christmas market. And nobody does Christmas like the Germans. With over 30 traditional wooden booths consisting of ornaments, jewelry, gifts and more, this is bound to be the start of a Vancouver tradition. Lets not forget the spectacular German fare consisting of German Bratwurst, suckling pig traditional Christmas cookies, roasted chestnuts and spiced Christmas Cake (Stollen). Just make sure to spruce up on your German so you can wish everyone a “Frohe Weihnachten!”

PRESIDENT’S HEAD

Kurtis Blow - Christmas Rappin’ This little ditty does well in the style of post-modernist allusion to pop-culture. While the beat may be a little inspired by the Sugar Hill Gang, the lyrics are all original. Happy Hip-Hop Holidays! Weezer - The Christmas Song Something I find really weird about the music industry is that some bands become unpopular for getting too popular. Weezer is one of these bands. Here’s a gem from the Green Album (before they were too popular to like). It won’t exactly put you in the mood to “drink by the fire”, but it’ll remind you of how you got this album for Christmas as a preteen. Sigh.

David Atkinstory

MELISSA FRASER /THE RUNNER

CREATIVE

page ten | December 08 2010 | vol. 3 issue 10

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

SCI-FI

JARED VAILLANCOURT CREATIVE WRITING BUREAU CHIEF

he program called it routine. He would not be himself if it were routine. Time and space bent before him. What was the entrance to the chamber became a fountain, its bright blue water spouting in great spires and arches in the twilight glow of a bright moon. The bridge grew large enough for him to enter. With a single step, he was three hundred light-years away; alone and isolated. Time and space mended behind him.

speaker asked again. Active sensors identified a simple civilian protection uniform, low-yield particle beam weapons and rudimentary communication devices on the speaker’s person. He classified the entity as non-threatening and ignored him. The fountain was beautiful. He had to see it. Organomotors extended a hand as tactile micro-cells detected the spray impacting against the nano-plating skin of the appendage. Chemical sensors embedded in the micro-cells identified impurities and disinfecting agents mixed with the liquid. The droplets coagulated quickly, caught within the molecular bonds of the nanoplate skin, forming shapes and lines across his hand. Ambient temperature dropped at the same time. “Hey! Listen to me! How did you get in here?” the entity called again. Passive motion sensors indicated the being was preparing to activate one of its primitive weapons. The program’s memory of all foreign folklore on this entity indicated the entity could be ignored a moment longer. He reactivated his force fields and watched as the droplets vaporized against the nanoplates. He turned to face the entity. A photon emitter on the creature’s helmet bathed his casing with light. “What the…?” the entity began. It began to draw its weapon. In a flash, a small launch chamber embedded in his right forearm shell filled with a sampling of his internal nano-slaves, which began to form into a standard kinetic dart. By the time the entity had its weapon halfway out of its holster, the micro-dart was fully formed and ascending to the receding nano-plates above his wrist. Organomotors lifted the arm; force field emitters in the palm deactivated to allow a gap no more than a millimeter across to open, clearing the

Neoborg Augmented eyes took in the fountain; chemical scanners, quantum imagers and other senses recorded the object before him. He knew what a fountain was, of course. The program knew of fountains. The program knew everything. But the program had never seen a fountain before. He was seeing this fountain. Cautious organomotors moved a step towards the glowing structure. Integral force fields engaged automatically to vaporize the spray as water exploded from primitive submarine cannons. Tiny tongues of flame ignited where mist met energy, triggering auditory scanners to report the hissing screams as atoms and molecules faded to spark of quanta and memory around him. He deactivated his defenses. “Hey! Who are you?” It took a second for his processors to identify the atmospheric disturbance as a form of communication. The language was easy to identify, quickly brought up from the program’s memory out of the last world he had been to. It was no effort to turn his head along the servos in order to focus all his active sensors on the source of the communication. The speaker was quickly scanned and identified. “I said, who are you? What are you doing here?” the

invisible barrier between the dart and its target. Before the entity’s weapon had fully emerged from the holster, he fired the dart. “Ow!” the entity let out a little scream of pain. He lowered his arm as organomotors allowed him to take slow, graceful steps towards the entity, which was slowly falling to its knees as the micro-dart’s nano-slaves disbanded and began seeking out raw elements in the creature’s internal environment to manipulate and assimilate. Nano-scanners revealed the tiny machines replicating within the entity. “What… did you… do to me?” the entity stammered. He smiled. “Human,” he identified. “Male. Muscle mass and neurological interconnectivity indicates a high probability of compatibility with advanced combat and processing modules. Superior cardiovascular and reproductive systems indicate possible usefulness as an explorer and/or foothold unit.” He watched as the tiny machines began assembling the nano-organomotors and artificial filaments reverse engineered from the tissues of the human’s body that would be implanted into the entity’s future frame. Something in the back of his processors decided he should place his fists against his hips. “What are you… doing to me?” the human demanded. He smiled as augmented eyes glared painfully up at him, nano-plates exuding from the entity’s pores as the skin cells beneath were cannibalized by the nano-slaves. In a minute, the process was complete, and the new drone stood up and stared back at him blankly. He tore off the drone’s useless uniform, revealing the nanoplate skin and combat implants beneath. The drone’s mind was confused and scared; he uploaded the program into it. “Know peace,” he thought, transmitting the emotion to the new drone. That worthy smiled

The tiny machines began assembling the nanoorganomotors and artiﬁcial ﬁlaments reverse engineered from the tissues of the human’s body that would be implanted into the entity’s future frame.

back. “It is a pretty fountain, isn’t it?” the drone asked. He nodded. “We shall allow it to stand,” they both thought, “until the program dictates otherwise.” Both drones turned to the fountain and allowed their senses, both passive and active, to record for several seconds. --- ALLOTED PERSONAL TIME EXPIRED --“We understand,” both drones, thought. They turned from the fountain, using the new drone’s memory to locate a more advanced planetary communication relay. Accessing the relay was pathetically easy. --- COMMENCE ASSIMILATION PROCEDURE --He placed his hand on the exposed circuitry. Nanoslaves flooded out from gaps between the nano-plates, interfacing his mind with the operating system of the public phone. Funds from the new drone’s old account were uploaded in order to trick the device into accessing all other communication relays across the planet simultaneously. Millions of humans all over the world gazed in curiosity at the sudden appearance of the ergonomic cyborgs on their screens. Both of them smiled. “Greetings,” the two of them said at once. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it? It’s very good to see you all again. We were wondering how you would change after five hundred years.” Both drones glanced at each other, and then snickered. “You don’t remember us, do you? We can’t blame you. Allow us this introduction.” “Your cultures, fantastic thought they may be, are irrelevant. They will adapt to be of use to us. Your lives are no longer under your control. You will submit to the program and follow our will. You will lower your defenses, cast aside your arms and accept your new fate. Any attempt at resistance will experience futility and failure. Your technology and biology will be added to ours. From this day forth, you shall be made into us. You will be assimilated.” The drones’ smiles became predatory. “We are the Borg.”

PROCRASTINATION

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

vol. 3 issue 10 | December 08 2010 | page eleven

CHILDREN’S STORIES: DORA THE EXPLORER - ANDREW MACLACHLAN

HOROSCOPE CAPRICORN Dec. 22 - Jan.19

You will have the best dream of your life, and fail to remember it.

AQUARIUS Jan. 21 - Feb. 19 SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22 - Dec. 21

A bird in the bush is a clear sign you need to shave down there.

There are only three things that annoy you, miscounting and ferrets.

PISCES Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

Confucius says, “Man, this sure is some good shit.” Heed those words.

ARIES Mar. 21 - Apr.19

Despite your best efforts, you will not attain super Saiyan this week.

TAURUS Apr. 20 - May 20

What goes up will always come down. Remember that Frisbee you lost last week?

GEMINI May 21 - June 20

You have an evil twin making the world a better place so take this week off.

RIP OFF KWANTLEN

CANCER May 21 - June 20 LIBRA Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

No horoscope for you this week. You’re off the hook, buster.

LEO July 23 - Aug. 22

There is enough change for the bus. There is always enough change… for the bus.

Steer clear of Cancer this week. Something’s got them in a mood.

VIRGO Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

SCORPIO Oct. 23 - Nov. 21

A man with a red hat will walk by you this week. Distrust him at all costs.

Contrary to popular belief, you will not remain a Virgo forever…

THE SMART ZONE

It’s that time again. Why can’t I use my Visa?

THE RUNNER

The fact that students can’t use credit cards to pay for tuition is complete crap. Not just crap, but complete crap. As we all struggle to keep up with the never ending onslaught of bills, especially at this time of year, it would be nice not to have to take two thousand dollars directly out of our accounts for tuition. Having 30 days to pay off a credit card is reasonable, isn’t it? 30 days equals two pay periods - for students who work- this means we could actually afford tuition without having to borrow money. Oh, and thanks student loans for denying my application, apparently I make to much money. Why can’t I afford tuition then?

WEIRD STUFF: STUFF IS WEIRD In New Jersey, cabbage can’t be sold on Sunday. Thomas Edison, lightbulb inventor, was afraid of the dark. Over 10,000 birds a year die from smashing into windows. Source: strangefacts.com

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The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca