Vol. 3 Issue 19 by The Runner

THE VOL. 03 ISSUE 19 04.12.2011 THE RESURRECTION ISSUE

HE’S

BACK

NEWS AND CULTURE FOR THE STUDENTS OF KWANTLEN POLYTECHNIC UNIVERSITY

page two | April 12 2011 | vol. 3 issue 19

NEWS & POLITICS

CFS

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AROUND KWANTLEN

UVic’s next step: Getting results approved at CFS national meeting Petition organizer anticipates lawsuit over referendum’s legitimacy.

GEMMA KARSTENS-SMITH THE MARTLET UNIVERSITY OF VICTORIA

VICTORIA (CUP) — The next step in the University of Victoria students’ society’s quest to leave the Canadian Federation of Students is to have last week’s referendum results approved at the lobby group’s next national meeting. “That will signal the official end of the UVSS’ membership in the CFS,” society chairperson James Coccola said. He isn’t anticipating any issues with the results being accepted at the next national meeting, which usually occurs in late May. “At this point, the vote has happened under the University Act,” he said. “Students have a right to make sure that their voice is heard. They’ve held a referendum under the CFS bylaws, followed all the rules, and there’s absolutely no reason why it wouldn’t be recognized at the [national meeting].” Coccola says the referendum went “very smoothly,” despite a number of complaints against both sides. “Both were guilty on several occasions of breaking the rules and both were given penalties for that,” he said. Voter turnout for the referendum was about 30 per cent, with 3,255 voting to leave the CFS and 1,361 voting to stay. The road to referendum was a long one for the UVSS. In fall 2009, a group of students circulated a petition asking students whether or not they wanted to see a referendum on membership. The petition garnered 1,892 signatures and was followed by a counter-petition. The CFS deemed the origi-

WHAT’S HAPPENING AT KWANTLEN

Apr

13 2011 who have to tried to leave before have found themselves. “We will be there to fight them when they do,” he said. “The mandate of students couldn’t be more clear: UVic wants out.” Karina Sangha, who organized the No side’s campaign, also believes the issue is far from settled. She too is anticipating a lawsuit, possibly over whether or not the referendum applies to the UVSS’ membership in the CFS’ provincial component, CFS-British Columbia. Coccola says that, in terms of the referendum, there is no distinction between the two. “In my eyes and in many other people’s eyes, there is really no difference between CFS and CFS-British Columbia,” he said. “In pervious referendums, there have never been separate referenda for the provincial component and the national component. It would be in violation of CFS-British Columbia’s bylaws to be part of one organization and not the other.” The CFS did not respond to repeated requests for comment.

WHERE: Langley Campus - Room 1325 WHEN: 6:30 p.m. WHAT: The School of Horticulture and Green Ideas Network present the last Green Wednesday of the semester.

The UVSS is cutting ties with the CFS after a recent referendum. MEGAN KAMOCKI/THE MARTLET

nal petition invalid because some students signed both the original petition and the counter-petition. The issue was taken to the B.C. Supreme Court in January 2011, where Justice Malcolm Macaulay declared the original petition, submitted by Jose Barrios in October 2009, as valid. Barrios says that although the process has been “very, very arduous,” having a referendum was a necessity. “The [CFS] has rejected many attempts at internal reform. Rather than looking at the grievances from students, the CFS has modified its bylaws to make it harder to end ties with them,” he said in an email interview. “We need a new approach to national and provincial lobbying — an approach that welcomes constructive criticism and reform.” However, Barrios believes the referendum is only “the beginning of the end.” He and his colleagues are expecting to end up back in court with the CFS over the legitimacy of the results as many students’ unions

Green Wednesday: Wild Oceans

Apr

18 2011

Velociraptor Awareness Day WHERE: Everywhere WHEN: All day WHAT: Everyone should be prepared for the coming Velociraptor invasion. You never know when they might strike.

Apr

21 2011

Last Day of Exams WHERE: All campuses WHEN: All day WHAT: School’s out for summer, it’s time to celebrate.

ELECTIONS

Voting will require students to plan ahead I

ALANNA WALLACE CUP ONTARIO BUREAU CHIEF

WATERLOO, Ont. (CUP) — Many are wondering if students will even be able to vote in the upcoming federal election with polling days scheduled at such an inconvenient time for the young voters. With the election slated for May 2 and advanced polls announced for the Easter weekend, there has been growing concern about how student voter turnout will fare, considering the inconvenience of such a time for post-secondary students. Chris Hyde, policy researcher and advocacy co-ordinator for Wilfrid Laurier University’s students’ union, described the current situation as a “perfect storm,” which could hinder voter turnout on campuses across the country. It’s also a concern for Elec-

tions Canada, said Diane Benson of media relations. “Voting at the time of the year that’s a very busy time for students certainly presents a challenge for them,” said Benson. “But what Elections Canada tries to do is offer as many options as possible.” These options include voting by advanced ballot, by mail and by taking advantage of advanced polls. “It does require students to plan ahead and go through a process depending on what voting process they choose, if they want to avoid the end of exam time period right when the election day happens,” Benson said. Hyde is currently drafting a letter to the chief electoral officer of Canada regarding the issue in hopes that it will receive more attention. “It really is almost a national issue and it’s a national issue that it receives a lot of attention

because a lot of people are out there saying this isn’t fair to students,” he said. “But there aren’t a lot of people at the national level saying, ‘Here’s an alternative.’” Hyde added that an advanced poll on the April 20 or 21 would help student voter turnout. “Unfortunately, students are writing exams, finishing papers, are otherwise moving or looking for summer employment. All of these things work against students having the time to vote using a special ballot,” Hyde said. He also mentioned how difficult it will be for students to vote in the ridings they live in while at school because most students go home for the Easter holiday, which will impede the use of advanced polls. These sentiments were echoed by Elizabeth Dubois, a University of Ottawa fourth-

year currently planning a youth rally. “I really do think that it’s going to cause some big problems,” Dubois. “Without the significant conversations going on and some significant information getting out to students, we’re going to have a big problem with the youth turnout.” And in ridings such as Kitchener-Waterloo, where Conservative MP Peter Braid won his seat by a very narrow margin in 2008, the student vote can be particularly important. “For a riding such as this where last time it was decided by 17 votes, there’s a lot at stake here,” said Saad Aslam, a students’ union vice-president at Laurier. “It’s going to be interesting to see how many students take advantage of the advanced polls or will they just end up voting at home.” Hyde stressed the importance of post-secondary stu-

dents to be able to vote in the ridings they go to school in and often live in for four years while they attend post-secondary. However, many will no longer be residents of these ridings once the end of the semester comes and they return to their parents’ homes for the summer. “It affects [students] because they’re not allowed to vote in a riding that may mean something to them,” Hyde said. Although the dates of the election are inconvenient for students, Aslam and Dubois remained confident that postsecondary students will remain engaged in the election, though it will take some effort on the part of other students. “It’s a really hard time for students right now, we’re in the middle of exams, we’re writing final papers,” Dubois said. “It’s not easy, but I think that youth are really getting behind this.

NEWS & POLITICS

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vol. 3 issue 19 | April 19 2011 | page three

STUDENT POLITICS

New election ordered for Board of Governors Election appeal committee invalidates results saying candidate unfairly compromised the ‘voting booth.’

MATT DIMERA NEWS EDITOR

A new election for a student representative on the Board of Governors (BOG) will be held online on April 18 and 19, after an election appeal committee ruled the results of the March election partially invalid. In an e-mail sent to all of the BOG candidates, the registrar and chief returning officer, Robert Hensley announced the official decisions of the election appeal committee. Robert Mumford who received the most votes in the March election will be considered elected, but the second student seat will be voted on again. In an interview with the Runner, Hensley refused to provide details about the nature of the allegations or the names of the candidates involved, citing confidentiality. However, according to Hensley’s email, a formal complaint was filed by Kassandra Linklater against Keri Van Gerven alleging economic advantage and unethical influ-

ence on voters. The appeal committee ruled that Van Gerven did not violate the fair play rules by using financial resources, but did rule against her on the second charge of unethical influence. The committee said that during an online election, a laptop or computer could be considered a voting booth and that Van Gerven’s campaigning had compromised the integrity of the vote. According to Hensley, only the original candidates will be allowed to run again if they so choose and the official list will be formally announced on Monday, April 11. The committee also ruled that no candidate will be allowed to “use or provide any electronic media device to any voter during the two day election period.” Hensley also says that the rules will need to be adjusted and clarified before next year’s senate and board elections, since the old rules were written for physical voting booths and not the current online system.

Registrar Robert Hensley says campaign rules need to be reformed. MATT DIMERA/THE RUNNER

HOLIDAYS

Surrey students celebrate Sikh holy day I

KYLE BENNING NEWS EDITOR

On April 8, the Kwantlen International Student Society and the Kwantlen Student Sikh Association held their annual Vaisakhi celebration on Surrey Campus. Vaisakhi is the harvest season in India’s Punjab region and also marks the beginning of a new solar year. Vaisakhi is one of the most important days in the Sikh calendar as is marks the anniversary of the Khalsa, which was established on Mar. 30, 1699 by Guru Gobind Singh, the 10th Sikh guru. The celebration is also celebrated by the Hindu religion as the beginning of the solar new year.

Kwantlen students sample samosas and other tasty Indian treats, above. KSA staff member Nathan Grifﬁths proudly shows off his new turban, right. MATT DIMERA/THE RUNNER

Traditional Bhangra dancers perform in the Surrey Kwantlen courtyard to celebrate Vaisakhi, above. Swaths of material piled atop a table for turbans. The Kwantlen International Student Society offered free lessons to students in turban tying, left. MATT DIMERA/THE RUNNER

EDITORIAL

page four | April 12 2011 | vol. 3 issue 19

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

ENVIRONMENTALISM

JESUS

Jesus = Hipster

The Runner is student owned and operated by Kwantlen Polytechnic University students, published under Polytechnic Ink Publishing Society.

Vol. 3, Issue no. 19 April 12 2011 ISSN# 1916-8241 Arbutus 3710/3720 12666 76 Ave. Surrey, B.C. V3W 2M8 www.runnerrag.ca 778-565-3801

COURTESY WOODLEYWONDERWORKS/FLICKR

History of Earth Day “Good”

EDITORIAL DIVISION: Co-ordinating Editor (interim) Jeff Groat editor@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3803 Culture Editor Kristi Alexandra culture@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3804 News Editors (interim) Matt DiMera Kyle Benning news@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3805 Production Editor Cat Yelizarov production@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3806 Media Editor Matt Law media@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3806

BUREAU CHIEFS: Campus News / Vacant Creative Arts / Chris Yee Environmental / Catherine Thompson Graphics / Antonio Su Health & Lifestyle / (Vacant)

CATHERINE THOMPSON ENVIRONMENTAL BUREAU CHIEF

Earth Day falls on Good Friday April 22 and I’d like to appreciate the coincidence and exploit such a day with charitable goodness-of the environmental variety. While those who diligently attended Sunday school may be able to recite the history of Good Friday, not many can give a decent background story to my own personal day of environmental worship, Earth Day. So, eager students of all that is green and good sit back and listen. Earth Day began in the 1970s by Wisconsin senator Gaylord Nelson. Although it’s easy to idealize the swinging sixties and seventies as a time of peace, love and environmental enlightenment, this fantasy

isn’t quite true. Sure, they may have worn flowers in their hair and enjoyed frolicking around Woodstock au naturel but environmental issues weren’t exactly on the political agenda; hence why Nelson was motivated to give Mother Nature the limelight in the White House and beyond. His idea of Earth Day, seven years in the making, aimed to make environmental issues top priority. Nelson hopped aboard Pres. Kennedy’s five-state, eleven day conservation tour and began speaking to audiences about environmental issues. Nelson was inspired by the anti-Vietnam war “teach-ins” and sought to produce a similar event to raise awareness. He recognized the fiery passion incited by Vietnam War protests and hoped to reignite such ded-

ication and apply it to solving the environmental problems. In September 1969, at a conference hosted in Seattle, Nelson announced his grassroots event that was to be held the following April 22. The idea took off and was openly embraced the conscientious citizens everywhere. Now, Earth Day is now celebrated in a mind-boggling 175 countries with a smorgasbord of different festivities. Earth Day ’70 was the beginnings of an environmental awakening. So this Earth Day, in honor of the very respectable Nelson, celebrate all that is good and eco-friendly. Maybe even have a traditional Easter egg hunt with an eco-spin: hide and search for certified organic or fair trade chocolates. Now that is what I call a Good Friday.

JEFF GROAT COORDINATING EDITOR

It’s been said that Jesus was the original hippie. But instead of a late-60s styled, peace-andloving, long haired, authoritybashing activist, he was really more of a modern-day hipster. According to historians, Jesus was one of many spiritual teachers wandering Roman Judaea preaching about the iniquities of the times. He appropriated a whole whack of different cultural memes and amalgamated them into his own personal style. Hipster. Jesus spent his life preaching humility and railing against materialism. But he also drank exclusively PBR and altar wine and was so poor he had to buy all of his clothes at Value Village. Hipster. In the Cleansing of the Temple episode, he drove moneychangers from the Temple of Jerusalem during Passover yelling, “do not make My Father’s house a house of merchandise!” What’s not commonly known about this part of the Gospel is that it’s a metaphor. The Temple of Jerusalem was the best live music club in Judaea and the money-changers came to sign the hot new acts. Jesus loved his indie music and kicked them all out. Hipster.

FEDERAL ELECTION

Ignatieff’s reckless Coalition: He’ll do it again... I hope Liberals keep on denying any possibilities of a coalition

Political Affairs / (Vacant) I SIMON MASSEY Sports / (Vacant)

CONTRIBUTORS: Josh Saggau, Steven Maisey, Kimiya Shokoohi, Rick Kumar, Lliam Easterbrook, Simon Massey, Matthew Bossons, Jared Vaillancourt, Connor Doyle Cover Art: Cat Yelizarov

BUSINESS DIVISION: Operations Manager, Ads, Classifieds DJ Lam ops@runnerrag.ca 778-688-3797 Office Co-ordinator Victoria Almond office@runnerrag.ca 778-565-3802 Operations Assistant Brittany Tiplady

It’s election season and the antiIgnatieff attack ads are in full force. Commercial breaks bombard us with messages about how Ignatieff called America “his country” or how “he didn’t come back for you.” I can’t help but be swayed by some of these ads. Maybe they’re just restating questions I have about his intentions or his policies. It troubles me the leader of the Liberal party supported the Iraq war, views pre-emptive war to be a necessary evil Western democracies may have to engage in, and that he sees Canada’s role in peacekeeping as outdated. But there is one ad that doesn’t have the effect the Conservatives desired and that is the coalition ad. “Ignatieff and his reckless coalition, he did it before, he’ll do it again,” and I really have to hope he will. I have to hope that despite countless press releases to the contrary and public statements the party which wins the most seats will form government when the votes are tallied. If Iggy could beat the conservatives and form government by joining a coalition, he should do it, because at this point, a coalition is the only government I’d want to see. Another Conservative minority would see more of

COURTESY DAVE.COURNOYER /FLICKR

the same with Harper putting out aggressive legislation and budgets in order to bully the opposition into forcing another election. A Liberal minority, though unlikely according to recent polls, would be doubtful to last two years before we return to the voting booth. A Conservative majority would see legislation passed that would erode Canadian democracy. Harper has stated that if his party forms a majority government, he will cut out per-vote subsidies given to political parties, effectively kneecapping the funds given to the opposition parties. Harper’s defence for this measure was parties should have to rely on

the support of individual citizens and not the public purse. But what this boils down to is parties whose policies favour the wealthy will have more money, such as the Conservatives, whereas parties like the NDP, whose policies favour those with lower income, would have difficulty raising money. This is a blatant attempt from the Conservatives to slant further elections in their favour and shows a disregard for Canadian democratic values. The only satisfactory end to this cycle of frequent elections is with a coalition government. A coalition forming a majority would better represent the interests of

more Canadians than a minority government and give us a stable government so we wouldn’t have to run to the polls again anytime soon. The collaborative nature of a coalition would also dissuade my hesitations about having Ignatieff running the show - he wouldn’t be able to run wild with any idealist policies he may come up with. While I have hesitations about Ignatieff, I’d still prefer him to Harper. Though I wonder if Ignatieff is sufficiently in touch with other Canadians to appreciate modern Canadian values, I know Harper understands them, and he’s tearing them down at the foundations.

SPORTS

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

BASKETBALL

Coach wants to mould to team I KIMIYA SHOKOOHI

It’s not about coming in with a big white board – the technical strategies scribbled in red. It’s about letting those strategies develop accordingly with your players, said Dan Nayebzadeh, Kwantlen Polytechnic University’s new women’s basketball coach. “My on-court system all depends on the player,” Nayebzadeh said about his coaching style. “I guess I’m kind of like ‘you can reshape and mould me to whatever the team is.’” Nayebzadeh’s concentrated style stems from his own experience on the sports field. The North Shore native grew up with soccer and basketball. Somewhere along the way, Nayebzadeh found a new life passion: teaching. While in the education program at UBC, he was required to plug volunteer hours. There, he was reacquainted with his love of sport. “I decided to coach a little bit of basketball and I got hooked,” Nayebzadeh said. And he stayed hooked. Nayebzadeh has now been coaching for 13 years. “It’s the ability to shape athletes that really intrigues me,” Nayebzadeh said about the allure of the job. “I love using basketball as a stage to develop character.” The certified NCCP level 3 coach started his career at North Vancouver’s Sutherland Secondary School. There, as head coach, he led the senior girls’ basketball team to a record 200 wins and 40 losses over eight seasons. Then, in 2009, Nayebzadeh was granted the role of assistant

PHOTO COURTESY OF DAN NAYEBZADEH

coach with the BC Titans Minor League Professional team. Following that, he was selected as head coach by the Basketball BC Elite Development Program for the U-16 provincial team. The list goes on. He assisted the Canadian national team at the Canadian Centre for Performance and Regional Training. His latest stint saw him as the assistant coach of the women’s basketball team at Simon Fraser University. If there’s any inclination as to the success of his coaching style, the SFU team shows it. The women have won two national titles within the last two year alone. Then came Kwantlen. “It was very detailed – very meticulous,” Nayebzadeh said about the interview process. “There were a whole lot of interviews.” Nayebzadeh was in the process of applying for a coaching position with the men’s basketball team when the position for the women’s opened up. He was advised to apply for both. He was granted the latter. “I think they found a very good candidate,” Nayebzadeh said about the University’s choice to go with Stefon Wilson

as coach for the men’s team. “It worked out for the best, for both of us.” “I can’t wait,” he said about coaching the varsity women’s basketball program. “It’s going to be a great journey.” As it stands, the team is still being constructed – recruitment season in full view. As Kwantlen holds its identification camp April 17, for female basketball athletes grade 11 and older, Nayebzadeh heads into the selection process looking for players who meet the standards. “The number one thing that I look for is character,” he said. “They have to be willing to work hard.” “We look for kids that are competitive. We look for kids who love the game. We look for kids who want to be there.” In short, Nayebzadeh is entering recruitment season looking for what it was that pulled him onto the court – passion. “It’s crucial for the athlete to love the sport,” he said, “to want to be there. To want to compete.” “You have to love to be there – you have to be willing to sacrifice.” Nayebzadeh said the success of the team is dependent on team respect and selflessness. Himself included, in expectations for the team. “You have to go in with your passion as a coach,” he stresses, “you have to have passion.” It’s less about him, Nayebzadeh said, than it is about the team. “You have to be athlete centred, you have to have a plan,” he said of his certainties. As for the rest, Nayebzadeh said, “let the chips fall where they may.”

vol. 3 issue 19 | April 12 2011 | page ﬁve

BRIEFS

I KIMIYA SHOKOOHI

The Eagles women’s basketball team sees red, white, and blue with the signing of Washington State’s Anna Work to the Eagles Women’s Basketball team. The transfer point guard from Everett Community College in Everett, Washington comes to the Eagles program with two years of basketball under her belt. “She is very passionate about the game and brings toughness to our team while commanding her teammates respect,” coach Dan Nayebzadeh said in a press release from the athletic department. “She is very coachable and has a very high basketball IQ.” Work is replacing guard and team captain Taminder Dhaliwal, having completed her eligibility in the 2010-2011 season. Eagles recruitment continues this week with ID camp on April 17 for the 2011-2012 season.

--JEFF GROAT COORDINATING EDITOR

Stefon Wilson, the brand-new men’s basketball coach, has added the first player to the Eagles’ 2011-2012 roster. David Poole plays guard and joins the Eagles after leaving Michigan State, where Coach Wilson also hails from. “He can score, pass and is very athletic… I am glad we both will be on the same sideline for the 2011-2012 season,” Wilson said. “I coached against Poole’s high school team in Michigan, and his name was always highlighted in our scouting report,” he said. Coach Wilson expects Poole to be a great addition to the

team, come September. “I am very excited to have his versatility and athleticism in an Eagles jersey,” adds Wilson.

--CHRIS YEE CREATIVE ARTS BUREAU CHIEF

The Kwantlen Athletics and Recreation Department will be supporting the Laura Szendrei Memorial Scholarship Foundation Committee’s first annual Walk Run and Roll fundraiser on April 10. According to the Kwantlen Athletics website, they will be taking part in the festivities, with Eagles mascot Kwinten, celebrating “the memory of Laura and all … those [who] have been a victim [of] violent crime in our society.” Laura Szendrei was brutally killed in a random attack at Mackie Park in North Delta last September. The official Laura Szendrei Walk Run and Roll website says this of the fundraiser: “This initiative will serve as a key part of a broader campaign to support the families of innocent victims of violent crime… we are committed to supporting those who want to seek change.” In keeping with this commitment to “supporting those who want to seek change,” Laura Szendrei Memorial Scholarship Foundation will be presenting two sport scholarships every year to all Delta secondary school students. The Laura Szendrei Walk Run and Roll fundraiser will be held at Burnsview Secondary School, from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Early bird registration is closed, but those interested in participating in the fundraiser can register at the door for $10 in cash.

WRESTLING

Take a Friend...

Kwantlen student qualiﬁed for international tournament I

Skiing in Argentina this August. You can be one of 5 to Win a trip for you and a friend to ski in Argentina this August by becoming a member of the Mountain Culture Collective Radio Society Register @ thepow.ca facebook.com/MCCrs We are also giving away a trip in May to The Whistler Week of the Blues Come boogie with us and learn to play music too. www.whistlerblues.com These membership drive prizes are for members 19 and older. You must be a student or staff at a Canadian University or College; proof required to qualify for this Exclusive First Draw for your adventure in Argentina. Skiers and Snowboarders welcome. Event agenda and performance qualiﬁer @ www.facebook.com/MCCrs

Are you mountain enough?

JOSH SAGGAU CONTRIBUTOR

Chanmit Phulka may be just a first year horticulture student at Kwantlen, but he already has dreams of taking over the family business — Maple Leaf Nursery in Matsqui. That might have to wait until he’s done with his wrestling career though, because Phulka is one of the top wrestlers in Canada in his weight class. He was recently in Edmonton from March 24-27 for the Junior National Freestyle Champhionships where he finished first in his weight class at 96 kg, beating out five other competitors. “I was really well prepared and some of my stiffest competition that I had beaten in the previous years dropped down to the weight class below, so that just kind of left me alone without much competition,” Phulka said of his three straight wins

that earned him top spot. Phulka will now represent Canada in the Junior World Wrestling Championships in Romania this July. He said he is very excited for the opportunity. He trains five times a week with the Burnaby Mountain Wrestling Club — the same club that helped produce Olympic gold medalist Daniel Igali — under coaches Dave McKay and Justin Abdou, in the hopes that he can represent Canada and himself well at the international competition this summer. Phulka’s journey into wrestling began in grade seven at Eugene Reimer Middle School in Abbotsford. “I just went to the practice one day and started wrestling with the school team and I found out there was a local club [Mire Piri Wrestling Club] doing it as well, so I began wrestling there during the summer.”

Phulka said he had a good feel for it right from the start. But Phulka’s first love has always been horticulture. “I love this industry. Working with plants, both indoors and outside, is always a rewarding way to earn a living, and being in the ultimate ‘green industry’ it’s good to know that our company’s products are also good for the environment.” He said there is little time for anything else in his life besides school, wrestling and horticulture, but that he likes it that way. He said Kwantlen is pushing him in his studies because they know he has a background in horticulture and admits the program is “definitely” preparing him for his ultimate goal of taking over the family business. Still, when asked which he likes better, wrestling or horticulture, all he could manage was a laugh and an “I don’t really know.”

SPORTS

page six | April 12 2011 | vol. 3 issue 19

BASKETBALL

EAGLES ATHLETICS

Hunt for an assistant coach

JOSH SAGGAU CONTRIBUTOR

After replacing Bernie Love as head coach of the men’s basketball team a few weeks ago, the Kwantlen Eagles needed to find a replacement assistant coach. The idea, no doubt, was that after such a disastrous season, the more parts of the program that could be improved the better. Not that Mike McKay had done a terrible job as assistant coach - some players even mentioned that McKay had been a better coach than Love but there was likely something said in the athletics department about starting fresh next year with a talented young team and a new coaching staff. The team has some young players that could definitely flourish under the right environment. Stefon Wilson, the new head coach, and Elise Le Brun, the director of athletics, put out an open call on March 30, but it’s unclear right now how many

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people are interested in the position. Wilson is currently away from the school but he and Le Brun will be going over all candidates after the deadline for applications of April 12. The department hopes the new assistant could start as soon as April 25. Wilson was very clear on the kind of coach he was looking to work with this upcoming season. “I’m just looking for recruiting, and I’m looking for high energy and someone that can bring new ideas to the coaching staff, plain and simple. Nothing too complex. Someone that can better our team and definitely someone with high energy.” When asked if he wanted a fellow defensive-minded coach, Wilson said he just wanted someone who could bring new ideas to the table to help the Eagles put the best product on the court. “Two or three minds are better than one and that’s the way I’m approaching this situation.”

Coaching — ins and outs I

JOSH SAGGAU CONTRIBUTOR

Within the last two seasons, all four varsity teams at Kwantlen have replaced their head coaches. Last year, both the men’s and women’s soccer teams found new coaches with mixed results and this year it is the basketball teams that needed a change of leadership. After a 1-11 record in 2009’10, the men’s soccer team needed some sort of spark to get them moving in the right direction. The team decided to bring in Ajit Braich, a 25-year veteran. Braich had a history of winning, and in ‘09-’10, he led the Punjab Hurricanes to a Division 1 championship. This season, surrounded by a group of young Eagles, Braich proved that it’s going to take more than a new coach to get the men winning again. This year the team was

0-11-1 with their only points of the season coming in a 2-2 tie against the Quest Kermodes in Squamish. Meanwhile, Gordon Smith, the new women’s soccer head coach, had plenty to work with on the pitch after taking over for Vladimir Samozvanov. The team had just captured a provincial title and placed third at nationals before Smith took over and the team continued their season success this year, again taking home a provincial championship. The team only managed a fifth place finish at nationals, but there was not much fall off from last year’s team despite the coaching change. As the season ended this year, it was hard to know who was at fault on the basketball court. Both the men and women were terrible this season. The men’s team managed just one win while the women earned four.

Neither came close to qualifying for the provincials. Bernie Love, the coach of the men’s team, left before the axe officially came down on his job and women’s coach Matt McKay was let go after one season with the Eagles’ program. Both have since been replaced. Stefon Wilson will coach the men while Dan Nayebzadeh takes over the women’s team. There seems to be a definite shift in the mentality of the athletics program. The new message is that losing, and losing badly, is no longer acceptable and the department has no problem cutting ties with coaches who can’t get the job done. This could be attributed to Kwantlen’s university status, but only Le Brun knows for sure. She was unavailable for comment.

CANUCKS

Could this could be the year for the Canucks?

PHOTO COURTESY OF MAFUE

This is Steven Maisey. He is you’re average Canadian guy; he eats and sleeps hockey. He is also a huge Canucks fan. This is Facing off with Maisey.

l STEVEN MAISEY

The Vancouver Canucks clinched the Presidents' trophy this past week, after they beat the Los Angles Kings 3-1 and the Philadelphia Flyers lost to the Atlanta Thrashers 1-0. Now the big question becomes, what should the Canucks do in their final few games with nothing to play for? Injuries have been a big concern for the Canucks this entire season, especially on the back end, where at one point the Canucks had five regular defence-

man out of the lineup. The Canucks still have to ice a lineup, they cannot call up the roster of the Manitoba Moose. But with expectations high for this club in the playoffs, they must be healthy to make a decent run. Alex Edler and Andrew Alberts are expected to be back right before the playoffs begin, and Kevin Bieksa returned from a fracture foot earlier in the week. But with every passing game, and keys players such as Ryan Kesler and Alex Burrows throw-

ing their bodies in front of shots the risk for injuries mounts. Another concern for the Canucks heading into the playoffs is the third line center spot and the fourth line. When Manny Malhotra went down with his eye injury, it was expected that Maxim Lapierre would step up into that third line center role but that hasn’t happened. Lapierre has stumbled and has since been dropped back down to the fourth line, and the Canucks have experimented with notable centermen, such as Jannik

Hansen and Mason Raymond in that spot. The faceoff circle has been a big strength for the Canucks all season long, but they will struggle significantly in the playoffs if they can’t find someone to center their third line. If you look back at the past few Stanley Cup winners they all have one thing in common. A quality third line center, whether it be Dave Bolland for Chicago, Jordan Staal for Pittsburgh, or Sami Pahlsson for Anaheim, every cup winning team has that dominant third line center. Another concern for the Canucks has been the constant rotation that has been their fourth line. The one constant on that line has been Tanner Glass, but he missed a few games at the end of March with an injury. The Canucks must be able to rely on their fourth line for quality shifts during the playoffs if they are going to go far in the playoffs. The first key to that success will be to find a way to constantly ice the same players on that line. They need to be able to have some familiarity on that line so that the players can start to feed off of each other and create good chemistry on that line. The second key is to actually find players that can play on that line: bang, crash and occasionally pop in a few goals every now and then. The Canuck faithful are expecting a long run in these playoffs and the Canucks must address these concerns if they are to fulfill expectations.

CULTURE

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

vol. 3 issue 19 | April 12 2011 | page seven

FASHION

The Show Fashion graduate Ana Prpic and her line, 4th Phase Maternity, wowed the crowd on April 5 at the River Rock Casino.

MATTHEW BOSSONS CONTRIBUTOR

Ana Prpic’s maternity line had her models wearing fake bellies. MATTHEW BOSSONS/THE RUNNER

he Show kicked off in grand fashion on Tuesday, April 5 at the River Rock Show Theatre, earning rousing applause from the tightly packed room. The Show, put on by Kwantlen’s Fashion Design and Technology program, serves as a way for graduating students to showcase their hard work and talent. This year’s graduating class is made up of 32 students. Kwantlen’s Bachelor of Design, Fashion and Technology is the only four-year program of its kind in all Western Canada, according to the catalogue handed out at the show. University president and vice chancellor, David Atkinson, said that Kwantlen’s program is the “best fashion department in the country.” Based on what was seen, he might be right. The apparel was diverse in style, reflecting the various niches of the fashion industry. “It’s crazy to think that these designers get these ideas in their heads and can really make them come to life just from a piece of fabric,” said Heather Clark, one of the models involved in the show. “The time and effort they put into each article is amazing.”

The professional level modelling accompanied by a thunderous sound system made for a professional looking show; at one point in the night, the runway was even blanketed in fake snow. Undoubtedly one of most memorable highlights of the night was when young female models whose cute performance was on par with the older female models. Most notably, the trio of youngsters sported Natasha Singh’s Cotton Kids collection in their third appearance of the evening. Another noteworthy moment was Ana Prpic’s maternity collection, 4th Phase Maternity, which was donned by models wearing fake stomachs to give the illusion of pregnancy. The fake stomachs, according to Clark, were “almost like a backpack for your front, it straps over your arms and then has a pillowy stomach to sit on top of your own stomach.” With a full house in attendance and great crowd reception the show was undoubtedly a success. “The designers and operators of the show were so excited and I think it really rubbed off on everyone else,” said Clark. “I know backstage we were all dancing and getting hyped to walk the runway so I can only imagine what it was like out there!”

MATTHEW BOSSONS/THE RUNNER

VINYL

Vinyl Dust-off: Grand Funk’s Live Album Lliam Easterbrook, sonic archaeologist, brings you his latest finds from excursions into ancient record bins – every week, only on Vinyl Dust-off

LLIAM EASTERBROOK CONTRIBUTOR

nyone else think Value Village has quickly become the laziest slug capitalism has to offer? If you answered yes, well, you’re years too late—they’ve always had the Jabba the Hutt mentality: give us your junk—no, we won’t pay you for it—but we’ll sell it for a couple thousand percentile more than it’s worth. Basically, they stick you. V.V.’s so-called “saving grace” is that they supposedly give a percentage of their proceeds to various organizations and charities. But when I asked the wenchlike ditch pig (Jabba?) at the cash register which charities and how much, she claimed ignorance and didn’t seem at

all willing to find out for me, even though there was no one behind me in line. With no overhead whatsoever (their only expenses being electricity and the employment costs of their country bumpkin staff), where is all this profit going? Fuck you, Value Village. That aside, I still bought the goddamned record I’m about to review from V.V. in Langley: 1970’s Live Album by Grand Funk Railroad. Released Nov. 16, 1970, Live Album showcases the bards of boogie rock at their peak – a band bent on deep grooves and tasty licks. The album was released sans mixing, so what you get is a “direct recording,” a bare bones rock concert, as it were, with the Funk in fine form: raw, rousting, and laying the bass down thick

as Jabba. The album opens with a boring introduction that is basically just crowd noise and a mindless voice making announcements before Grand Funk hits the stage. The only reason this was included, in my opinion, is to establish a sense of contextual atmosphere, to allow the listener the headspace

of being at a live Funk show. But since the album is essentially a compilation of songs taken from different venues along the east coast leg of their 1970 tour, it would have been better to include another track instead of two minutes and 30 seconds of nonsensical stage banter. That aside, the actual performances on the album are intense. The energy captured by the limited studio trickery is reminiscent of MC 5’s Kick Out the Jams. But, at the same time, Live Album’s biggest strength recording-wise is also it’s biggest weakness: the lack of mixing and over-dubbing—while establishing musical authenticity and a synergy between band and crowd—also makes the clarity of the instruments/vocals occasionally sound muffled and

incoherent. This “flaw” is simply due to the sheer volume of the crowd drowning out the amplifiers; also, the ability of the sound tech to record on the available technology at the time was limited. So as you probably know, I’m a huge fan of vinyl— and I have been for years now. Vinyl sounds warmer and much more dynamic than compressed mp3s or even CDs. The album art is larger,more vivid and the concept of ritualistically placing a record on a turntable and literally scraping the life out of it is nothing short of sacred to me. Grand Funk Railroad’s Live Album, though flawed, delivers the best aspects vinyl has to offer; it is raw, lively as fuck, and, of course, antique. Play it loud. Play it proud.

THE

A SPECIAL NOTE FROM THE RUNNER This is the last Runner issue of the Spring 2011 semester, but by no means does that mean we’ll be shutting down and efﬁng off for the Summer. We’ll be producing one really great, focused and provocative issue each month until our regular production schedule resumes in September. We’ll also be updating constantly online at www.runnerrag.ca, so keep an eye on our newly redsigned site.

VOL. 03 ISSUE 18 04.05.2011 THE FOOD ISSUE

NEWS AND CULTURE FOR THE STUDENTS OF KWANTLEN POLYTECHNIC UNIVERSITY

CULTURE & CREATIVE

page eight | April 12 2011 | vol. 3 issue 19

PLUG

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

PHOTOGRAPHY

Creative Writing Guild REDUX I CONNOR DOYLE

hat do you call an electric outlet that will go to bed with you without much coercion? A cheap plug - an’ yer lookin’ at one. Recently you may have been dazzled to see an influx of posters toting the recreation of the Kwantlen Creative Writing Guild. It’s true, we’re back and welcoming all new members that have a passion for poetry, prose, screenwriting, playwriting and anything else that a writer can do with a pen and some paper. We offer a network of intelligent and creative writers throughout Kwantlen’s Surrey campus that come together once a week to read each other’s work, give feedback, discuss writerly whatnots and promote a positive environment for other poets and authors. We can set up writers with readers, screenwriters with directors, and even push you towards

that almighty goal of seeing the words you’ve written become officially published. The guild is dedicated to making all burgeoning writers feel supported in the creation of their work as well as comfortable when sharing what you’ve created with others. As writers ourselves we look forward to becoming peers with anyone willing to read, converse, give notes or simply enjoy the company of an imaginative (and slightly crazy) group of people. So if you’ve got stacks of unread short stories or documents upon documents of unrevised poems, or even if you just haven’t had the chance to discuss the landscape of contemporary Canadian literature in ages because none of your friends give a damn, then have we got the guild for you. Find the Kwantlen Creative Writing Guild on Facebook or email us at Kwantlen_CRWR_ Guild@hotmail.com.

KRISTI ALEXANDRA/THE RUNNER

SCIENCE FICTION

The Genesis Experiment I

JARED VAILLANCOURT CONTRIBUTOR

inally twenty years old, Sam still hadn’t made its choice. The doctor sighed and placed the green and yellow syringes onto the operating cart beside Sam’s bed, offering a professional smile that didn’t quite look right on her weathered features. Sam swallowed nervously, eyeing the sharp instruments. “Remember, it’s yellow for male and green for female,” the doctor said sweetly. “I’ll give you some more time to think.” With this, she left Sam alone. Sam slipped off of the bed and carefully picked both syringes up from the delicate white cloth that kept the operating cart clean, turning them over to see the Venus and Mars symbols engraved in their steel casings. Sam’s eyes tracked down to the needle points, and it had to quickly yet gingerly set the syringes back down. “Why is this so important?” Sam whispered, its androgynous voice echoing in the small examination room. All the reasons it had been taught flashed through its head; gender was necessary for the human species to survive. That hadn’t been the reason the alien Ylossne had modified the human species to lack gender at birth; to them it was a sociology experiment. The first time Sam had met a Ylossne had been a curious time. The aliens were hermaphrodites, which Sam knew to mean they were both male and female at the same time. Sam’s first encounter was with a doctor, of course; the Ylossne never let anyone else leave the research fleet that had set up shop on Earth’s moon, save for some dignitaries and anyone who was lucky enough to win the chance to visit them. Sam crossed its arms and stared at the syringes; the silky aliens could be both, so why did it have to choose? The obvious answer was because both chemical concoctions were designed to neutralize each other if

injected simultaneously. Sam now hated the Ylossne for that. “What about male?” Sam whispered, picking up the yellow syringe. The men Sam had seen had been kind to it, prompting any women nearby to accuse them of attempting to influence Sam’s choice. The woman were sometimes right, of course; but often they were guilty of the same crime. Sam did like how men could grow taller than the women, and how they often defined their muscles with relative ease; but to constantly be the “strong one”, as the Ylossne doctor had put it, took Sam’s appeal away. “You have to follow the stereotype, once you’ve chosen,” the Ylossne doctor had said to Sam’s class. “We’ve finally reached a generation where everyone born is genderless. Nowhere in the world is there a boy or a girl; only women, men and children.” The doctor’s six luminous eyes settled on Sam at this. “Only now can our experiment begin.” Sam set the syringe down and quickly picked up the green one. Femininity had its appeal also; the women Sam had met were beautiful and graceful, with a freedom of expression that made the men often look stoic and cold. Sam liked being tall, but women seemed more vibrant and alive, always with friends and enjoying themselves. The downside, aside from the stereotype the Ylossne enforced, was childbirth. Sam found the mere thought of the experience terrifying, despite being attracted to the idea of creating new life. It turned the syringe slowly over and over in its hand, its breathing shallow. After a moment, it put the syringe back down. “Oh, this is hard!” Sam groaned as it paced back and forth, its hands running up and down its bald head. “Why chose male when you could be female? Why choose female when you could be male?” It stopped and shot the syringes an angry glare. It stomped back to the cart and grabbed both, holding them tight. “It’s all about their damned stereotypes,” Sam

whispered to the yellow syringe. “Of course I’ll choose male! They have it so much easier! But...” It lowered the yellow syringe from its neck and examined the green one. “What if that’s the point? Life isn’t supposed to be easy! I should choose female because it’s the greater challenge!” Sam laughed as it pointed the syringe at its neck. “That will give those Ylossne the data they want!” It closed its eyes and dropped the yellow syringe, using both shaking hands to try and steady the green needle. A heavy breath or two later, and Sam placed the syringe back down onto the cart. “It is not our intention to destroy the human race,” the Ylossne had spoken with such ease and detachment, keeping calm even through the riots that had ensued not a century ago when they had first arrived and erased everyone’s gender. “We wish to preserve life as much as any sane entity. Our experiment, we believe, will be beneficial to this cause on your world, where gender roles and stereotypes have been observed to play a detrimental effect on your individuals.” The class that day turned into an enormous, sterile science exhibit from that point on, detailing the process through which the Ylossne had caused the neutralization of gender in the first place. The other children had nodded off; Sam listened raptly. “Which one should I choose?” Sam whispered, repeating the question it had asked the Ylossne after class. The alien merely chuckled in a far too human manner and knelt to pat Sam’s shoulder. “That is entirely up to you,” the alien replied with a sort of humour, as though the answer were obvious. “Just keep in mind that you must choose, and that once you do there is no going back.” Sam hugged its chest tightly and sat back on the bed, staring intently at both syringes. Male or female, and it wasn’t leaving this room until it was one or the other. “This isn’t fair,” Sam accused the

needles. “What’s so bad about staying like this? Everyone is nice to me, I have no stereotype to play out and the only downside...” Sam stood and grabbed both syringes, trying this time to crush them in its weak grip. “... is this stupid choice!” Angrily, Sam tossed the intact syringes back onto the cart. It shouted and grabbed its head, pacing around until it started to cry. Finally, Sam was huddled in a corner, knees tucked up to its chest and the stalwart cart sitting dominant above it. Sam sobbed and clenched its eyes shut. Sam suddenly opened its eyes. “It doesn’t matter which one I choose,” Sam slowly stood up, ripping the sleeve of its surgical gown as it walked trancelike over to the cart. “They’re the same challenge, only different,” it whispered as it took the piece of sleeve and tied it around its head, obscuring its eyes. Reaching gently, it picked up both syringes and shuffled them in its hands, and then put them down and shuffled some more. It picked up both syringes by the needle so it wouldn’t feel the engraving and know which was which. “It’s not up to me,” Sam said aloud, dropping the syringe that felt lighter and grabbing the heavier one with both hands. “It wasn’t up to people a hundred years ago and it’s not up to me now.” Sam slowly pulled the needle in, wincing as the tip pierced its skin. “Whatever I am, it won’t change me!” With this, Sam clenched its teeth, squeezed its eyes shut and pressed the applicator down with both thumbs. The unknown liquid surged into its veins and flowed like a hot wave that spread quickly over its entire body. Sam gasped and pulled the needle out, slamming it back onto the cart as it doubled back and grabbed firm hold of the bed. Quickly, it tore the blindfold off and looked back at the two syringes. The yellow one was still full. Sam laughed, her voice echoing long after she left the room.

CREATIVE

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

vol. 3 issue 19 | April 12 2011 | page nine

POETRY

A Darker Shade, Possibly Night I

—How many men does that take, babe, & machines? You demon of entry.

LLIAM EASTERBROOK CONTRIBUTOR

You were with caterpillar eyes, Perched atop tip-of-tongue lies, You pondered It there, —like a wandered mare, —or a blurry mere— The Fall. You thought of the passive leap, The creep of tongues to the edge, That palpably warm wake, Far below the machine-gunned stars.

I watch for the des(s)ert, Night, or another shade, As minute minions dangle from your vines, And serpents wane before a razorblade, The one beast cut down at the belly of a cave, & pubic hair grasses the plastic floor Your unhinged cabaret door. I want to romanticize the ancient forest, Masturbate among other grasses, When spirits hover and become moist, Like mist upon my den, or Leaflet canopies for my dew, A chest of pleasures anew, To reveal not you, but that glue in a blade of grass as significant as my mother.

So now, do you seek the soft pain of despair? Does that make you weak? Or is it the milky coming of dreams that you seek? —Like heathenry mixed pale and gold, Upon bare brown chests and candlelit sunlight? The exhibition of rooms oblivions wide —Like moods of reverie, Colours or shades of scared Spades that promote longing, As if to say, “We will awaken you!”— But, it’s hard, and stiff, you know, To see with tongues, Especially when you gargle, As you trust your thighs, As your Sunday pussy is birthday dessert, Washed like a hollow bowl by remote, industrious hands— Oh how you clapped, babe. Or was it the clap That clapped for you?

What is the glue of life? That impossible symmetry that makes me— You, Yet allows us to keep nothing As we caress the spherical edges of oblivion— The evaporation of memory,

I left you naturally (whatever that means) For some ice cream, (whatever that means) Your devices aching, as I slid Out of your den and into the Void— My plea In desert night, The canopy of silence heard all around us was no bargain for what was once sacred. Can I ask you . . ,

And only like that over there, You lie diluted, Filled like a basin: Never a wife, never a memory— Your breasts as cold as the operating table that produced you, But, with eckleberry eyes, I see That you’ve had your fill of love, Much like the scientific method, —Your sloppy cunt like poured concrete,

But there could be a saying, babe: “The water under the Bridge is the deepest,” And as you drown, In night, or another shade, Your water is still sweetest. KATIE TEGTMEYER/FLIKR

POETRY

I am able to love, Able to be loved, But I am not above, Not able to be in love, & there is a difference. Outside the perimetre, Grasping for rigor mortis, The circumferance, A labyrinth: Day, and another night, I falter on a silent shade Because we are all just queasy souls looking for a Christopher to Saint us along the Way when we grip for those strings in night or another fade, As we cling to another shade, Or the caress of that razorblade, & I cannot write my first thought. I know you were once a little girl.

PHOTOGRAPHY

Bukowski I CONNOR DOYLE

You miserable bastard, You fucked my girlfriend, Charles Bukowski, And I won’t forgive you for it. There we were At the library, Happy and faithful couple, when I pull out one of your collections, Love is a Dog from Hell I think it was, And the next thing I know you’re grabbing her ass and whispering lewdly in her ear while I’m somewhere in Romance. Later she denounced you; ‘An old grubber one time thing terrible lay and I faked it anyway.’ But I’m not happy, Charles Bukowski, you cock, you dead man.

Fuck angels, Fuck Jane, Write poems condemning assholes in heaven. And though I can’t blame you for seeing what I see in her, And I can’t be mad at her, for wanting you (I love her for that), You can’t do her justice like I can, Bukowski. You’ve never written anything that can capture her everything which makes you and I just a couple of hack poets. But at least I can still come out swinging. You’re not so cool, Charles Bukowski. You only ever did write one poem anyway.

JEFF GROAT/THE RUNNER

CULTURE

page ten | April 12 2011 | vol. 3 issue 19

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca

LIVE REVIEW

The Dodos bring marvelously mediocre show to the Rickshaw I

KRISTI ALEXANDRA CULTURE EDITOR

The time for self-satisfied indie-rock has passed in favour of a music culture of beefy songwriting with blues inclination – which is why March 31’s sparsely attended show at the Rickshaw represented a dying crowd of indie-devotees. Opening act Reading Rainbow, a two-piece from Philidelphia, seemed a little behind the times with songs that featured just a floor tom and quick, shrill guitar riffs that had their set sounding like one homogenous jam. The crowd was clearly divided; one half of the audience jumping around near the stage for the bland indie-pop duo and the other half restricted to their

seats, yawning behind their beers. We hoped for more excitement when The Dodos, the San Francisco duo we’d all been waiting for, hit the stage at nearly 11 p.m. Being a long-time Dodos fan, I’d seen the boys perform live a couple times before – both times, their set was marked by poorly set-up audio, losing the impact of a live performance from the talented gents. Unfortunately, like Reading Rainbow, the guys have fallen into the trap of sounding exactly like themselves. After four albums, their recent disc, No Color, boasts nothing different than the catchy discs they’ve released in the past. There’s no doubt that vocalist/guitarist Meric Long and drummer Logan Kroeber

have perfected their sound – the singer’s clear vocal tone shone at the Rickshaw, and Kroeber’s once erratic beat-keeping was impeccable at the show – but it definitely hasn’t grown. The 10-track disc features vocal contributions from fellow musician Neko Case on a few songs, with their biggest hit being “Don’t Try and Hide It,” a mid-tempo ballad with repetitive guitar patterns and harmonzing vocals. “Companions,” a slow arpeggiated song gives the album a much-needed sliver of diversity in an otherwise predictably uptempo, repetitious indie-rock collection. I found myself drifting in and out of the concert, perhaps because of the unchanging tone of the show, or perhaps because of a few too many PBR beers –

Meric Long and Logan Kroeber of The Dodos hit some high notes and some ﬂat notes at the Rickshaw Theatre on March 31. KRISTI ALEXANDRA/THE RUNNER

the essential indie-hipster staple of the night. That was until The Dodos got back into some older, more familiar songs like the triumphant “Ashley,” and the sunny, Fleet Foxes-esque “Fools” from their 2008 release Visiter. With very few “pick me up” moments in the night, I left feeling ripped-off, tired

and uninspired. Though The Dodos did switch up their set from previous ones by adding a bassist this time, the fate of The Dodos might just follow in the footsteps of the animal they take their name from – when you can’t adapt to your environment, you’re getting dangerously close to going extinct.

NOSTALGIA

Yo, do you remember yo-yos? I

RICK KUMAR CONTRIBUTOR

From my earliest memories as a kid I could remember my older brother playing with his Yo-Yo. He was always swinging it around and I would always try to do what he did (when he let me use it, that is), but sure enough I’d get it tangled and he’d get mad. That all changed when I got my first Yo-Yo and since then I’ve been a Cat’s Cradle king. Growing up, the elementary school yard was filled with fadcrazy kids swinging Yo-Yos like it was the only thing left to do. But, some ten years later, I’ve noticed more and more kids, teens and adults swinging their pocket buddies around. Not only has the Yo-Yo made a comeback but Slinkys have been hitting the stairs harder than most students hit their books the night before their History exam. It may just be me, but if you look for it you’ll see too that it wasn’t just a thing of the past. Yo-Yos and Slinkys are one thing, but this leads me to wonder: what’s next? Pet rocks and Pokémon cards are a thing of the past and some things are better left that way. But what about things like Lego and Hot Wheels cars? I know more than my fair share of friends who used to spend hours setting up tracks or building spaceships out of Lego and would love to see them return to how they were back in the day. Fads are great, they gave me some of the greatest memories I can remember, but like Ricky Martin’s leather pants I think some things should stay in the past. But really, who wouldn’t love some cookies from an easy bake oven? You know they were the best half-baked things you’ve ever had.

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PROCRASTINATION

www.runnerrag.ca | The Runner

vol. 3 issue 19 | April 12 2011 | page eleven

MARK BRADHAW – THE PEAK (SIMON FRASER UNIVERSITY)

HOROSCOPE TAURUS Apr. 20 - May 20

If someone uses the metaphor of a game this week, take them seriously; there is no such thing as a game.

LEO July 23 - Aug. 22

Stress not. Stress leads to frustration, frustration leads to anxiety, anxiety... leads to poor marks!

GEMINI May 21 - June 20

VIRGO Aug. 23 -Sept. 22

SCORPIO Oct. 23 - Nov. 21

Sadly, your childhood fantasy of growing a stinger will never come true. Time to buy a Corvette.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22 - Dec. 21

AQUARIUS Jan. 20 - Feb. 19

Joyous news takes many forms. Be happy whenever you can.

ARIES Mar. 21 - Apr. 19 Watch out for a UFO this week. You just may be the lucky ninth abducted caller!

Don’t sit back and wait for love. Go out and take the time you need to create it. Love is two ways, after all.

The only weakness is hiding your weaknesses so that they erode you. Take a chance, we’re only human.

CANCER June 21 - July 22

The decisions of today affect the consequences of tomorrow. Wear something purple.

RIP-OFF KWANTLEN

LIBRA Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

To have love and lost hurts like hell, maybe next time just go with a puppy.

Everyone has talent. Disagree? Then you’ve yet to ﬁnd yours. Keep looking!

CAPRICORN Dec. 22 - Jan. 19

PISCES Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

Get more sleep. Who cares about social norms when your health is in danger?

Even if you’re one in a million, there are 700,000 other people just like you in the world. Stop being so cocky.

THE SMART ZONE

Teachers cutting class

CUP Crossword Across 1- Pile; 5- Copycat; 9- Wreath of ﬂowers; 12- Car bar; 13- Rooﬁng items; 15- Mouth bones; 16- Milk source; 17- Shout of exultation; 18- Airline since 1948; 19- Writer; 21- Headset; 23- Apply powder to oneself; 25- Combining form meaning “ dry “; 26- Convened; 29- Enclose; 31- Gambling state; 35- Israeli submachine gun; 36- Muzzle; 38- Mum’s mate; 39- Feminist Lucretia; 41- Chairman’s hammer; 43Suspend; 44- A Musketeer; 46- Nairobi’s nation; 48- Baton Rouge sch.; 49- Winged child; 51- Singer Amos; 52- Bruce was a famous kung-fu movie star; 53- Little Tenderness; 55- Frees (of); 57- In fact; 61- It spreads aromatic smoke; 65- Fleshy fruit; 66- Garlic sauce; 68- In a bad way; 69- Actress McClurg; 70- Merchandise; 71- Physical suffering; 72- Part of RSVP; 73- Chair; 74- Blunted blade; Down

THE RUNNER

One of our editors has been skipping class lately. Why? Well, certain instructors – who we won’t name – have been doing a bang-up job of, well, not doing their job. Take, for example, when a three hour-class was released just a half-hour into instruction. It’s a good thing our poor little editor didn’t go to class, which would have taken him four times as long to get to as it would have to actually learn something. The kicker? The instructor actually asked, at the end of class, “did you expect more from me?” Well, nameless instructor, at nearly $125 per credit, we did.

1- Panama and bowler; 2- Corp. VIP, brieﬂy; 3- Banned apple spray; 4- Minor, in law; 5- Man of royal blood; 6Actress Zadora; 7- Fashion mag; 8- Make less tense; 9- Composer Schifrin; 10- Actor McGregor; 11- Archipelago part; 14- Philosopher Kierkegaard; 15- God; 20- Sacks; 22- Get ready; 24- Frog sound; 26- Shrub of the cashew family; 27- Alchemist’s mercury; 28- One tenth, usually; 30- Down-ﬁlled quilt; 32- In the least; 33- Compact; 34- Dispute; 37Domingo, for one; 40- Agonize; 42- Lyric poet; 45- Chapter of the Koran; 47- Adjutant; 50- Clause; 54- AKA; 56- Longbilled sandpiper; 57- Gorillas, chimpanzees and orangutans; 58- Basic monetary unit of Ghana; 59- Follow; 60- Long ago; 62- Hit with an open hand; 63- “Night” author Wiesel; 64- Baseball’s Sandberg; 67- Meadow;

page twelve | April 12 2011 | vol. 3 issue 19

The Runner | www.runnerrag.ca