November
26
2013
Kwantlen Polytechnic University’s independent newspaper since 2009.
appoints /03/ KSA new execs
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Masthead
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November 26 / 2013
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#SorryNotSorry The Runner is student-owned and operated by Kwantlen Polytechnic University students, published under the Polytechnic Ink Publishing Society. Arbutus 3710/3720 12666 72 Ave. Surrey, B.C, V3W 2M8 778.565.3801
www.runnermag.ca Vol. 06, Issue no. 04 November 26, 2013 ISSN# 1916 8241
EDITORIAL DIVISON Coordinating Editor / Matt DiMera editor@runnermag.ca / 778.565.3803
Deputy Editor / Samantha Thompson deputy@runnermag.ca
Acting Media Editor / Brian Evancic media@runnermag.ca
Production Editor / Roland Nguyen production@runnermag.ca
Associate Photo Editor / Mark Stewart Cover Photo: Tabitha Swanson The winners of the 2013 ActiveKSA Movember Dodgeball tournament.
Contributors: Andy Rice, Jana Vanduin, Tabitha Swanson, Erin Sparks.
BUSINESS DIVISION Operation Manager / Victoria Almond office@runnermag.ca / 778.565.3801
The Runner recognises that our work, both in and out of the office, takes place on unceded Coast and Strait Salish territories, specifically the shared traditional territories of the Kwantlen, Katzie, Semiahmoo, Sto:lo and Tsawwassen First Nations. Our name is inspired by the hun’qumi’num meaning of Kwantlen, which is tireless hunters or tireless runners. Just as Kwantlen is adaptable and changing so is The Runner.
Chip Wilson apologizes to staff (but not to customers) Lululemon founder Chip Wilson has apologized for comments he made during a television interview with Bloomberg television last month, but only to his staff. In a short video posted to Youtube, Wilson expressed his concern for the backlash felt by his employees. “I’m sad. I’m really sad. I’m sad for the repercussions of my actions. I’m sad for the people of lululemon who I care so much about that have really had to face the brunt of my actions. “I take responsibility for all that has occurred and the impact it has had on you. I’m sorry to have put you through all this.” Wilson did not take back his earlier comments that lululemon pants don’t work for all women’s bodies. Those remarks triggered outrage and a media storm of bad press. “Even our small sizes would fit an extra large, it’s really about the rubbing through the thighs, how much pressure is there…over a period of time, and how much they use it,” he said during the earlier Bloomberg interview. Last December Wilson, his wife Shannon and lululemon athletica pledged $12-million to the construction of a new $36-million facility at KPU’s Richmond campus. The Chip and Shannon Wilson School of Design is scheduled for completion in 2015.
THE
RUN
NER ROUND-UP
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The Runner
News
November 26 / 2013
KSA
Politics Women’s rep candidates no shows at debate
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Matt DiMera
COORDINATING EDITOR
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Only one of three candidates hoping to be
KSA executive chair loses seat in by-election
Former KSA women’s rep Arzo Ansary addresses students during an all-candidates debate . Matt DiMera/The Runner
Two new execs chosen: Button and Dhillon.
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Matt DiMera
COORDINATING EDITOR
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The Kwantlen Student Association council appointed two councillors to its executive committee last week, after hours of debate. Senate representative Steven Button was selected as the director of student services and Kirpanpreet Dhillon’s interim appointment as the director of student life was made permanent. Button easily beat challenger Ahmad Kheslat in a vote of 9-1 for the position of director of student services. Button’s appointment fills the vacancy on the executive left after former women’s representative Arzo Ansary lost her council seat in last month’s by-election. Executives are appointed by and from sitting members of council. Dhillon beat Yasir Raja in a secret ballot
BY-ELECTION RESULTS
vote. The tally of that vote was not made public. Raja and Kheslat have both attempted and failed to win seats on the executive board in the past. Earlier this year Raja made news after he was disciplined and stripped of his pay by council for “conduct unbecoming of a director of the society.” He later ran unopposed in the spring election and was re-elected to a second term on council.
“If we are not using our privilege to help those less privileged than us, what are we then here to do?” -Arzo Ansary In her final report to the KSA, Ansary expressed her gratitude to both her allies and opponents on council for making her want to fight. “My goals as chairperson were to bring our organization away from the troubles and shadows we had previously been em-
broiled in,” she said. “This short span of time gave me hope for a renewed sense of obligation and responsibility, and a drive unlike any I’ve had before. Let’s work on building more from this momentum and continue our push to turn the KSA into a respected advocacy powerhouse. For if we are not using our privilege to help those less privileged than us, what are we then here to do?” In last month’s by-election, Ghuman beat out incumbent Ansary and fellow newcomer Kimberley McMartin, according to the final electoral results released Oct. 27 by chief returning officer Corey Van’t Haaff. Ghuman received 53.5 per cent of the vote, Ansary received 38.3 and McMartin 8.1. Leah Godin and Eric Wirsching also won seats on the KSA council. Godin is the new Langley campus rep and Wirsching is a science and horticulture faculty rep.
the student association’s next women’s representative showed up for an all candidates debate last month. Incumbent women’s representative Arzo Ansary answered questions posed by the event’s moderator, Tanny Kabir, and taken from the small audience in the atrium in the Surrey Main building Oct. 21. “For the last year and a half since I’ve been involved with the KSA, my goal was to bring to light some of the issues that women face not just on campus but in our communities,” says Ansary. She notes that her immediate priorities are advocating for childcare on campus, for peer counseling space and for more awareness around sexual assault. “We live in a developed world and an environment where everything else is so easily accessible, so why shouldn’t this be as well? They are basic rights,” she argues. Ricky Ghuman and Kimberley McMartin, who were also running in the Kwantlen Student Association by-election, were both absent from the debate. Neither McMartin nor Ghuman responded to requests from The Runner for comment before deadline. The debate was jointly sponsored by Women Organizing Opportunities for Women, the Political Science Society and the Grey Matters philosophy group. Students voted at the polls Oct. 22 and 23 to vote. Although there were nine vacancies on the KSA council, candidates were only nominated for three of the positions and only the race for the women’s representative is contested. Eric Wirsching ran unopposed for the science and horticulture faculty representative and Leah Godin ran unopposed for the Langley campus representative. The positions for Cloverdale campus representative, students with disabilities representative, and faculty representatives for academic and career advancement, community and health studies, design and trades and technology, will all remain vacant until next year’s general election.
Campus Representative
Constituency Representative
Faculty Representative
Langley *Leah Godin 39 YES / 4 no
Women’s Constituency Arzo Ansary 159 *Ricky (Gurjinderjit) Ghuman 222 Kimberley McMartin 34
Science and Horticulture *Eric Wirsching 46 YES / 10 no
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Feature
The Runner
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November 26 / 2013
Gambling
High rollers and eye-rollers
Illustration by : Jana Vanduin
A closer look at B.C.’s gambling industry.
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Andy Rice
CAPILANO COURIER
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British Columbia is no Las Vegas by any stretch of the imagination, but the province certainly holds its own when it comes to commercial gaming. From scratch tickets to slot machines, gambling is a multi-billion dollar industry that carries both significant rewards and consequences for many each year. Some love it while others simply say “no dice,” but a gaming experience is in the cards for nearly everyone during their lifetime.
The Appeal
Be it Keno or Craps, winning can offer a big thrill. The excitement of a casino is equally undeniable with all the bright colours, flashing lights, and sounds that stimulate the senses. For Luis Melgar, 23, a casual gambler and Capilano University music student, those are the things that bring him in the door and keep him coming back. “It’s kind of a combination of everything, to be honest,” he says. “The first time I went to a casino I was 18. I went in Alberta for my birthday and I just thought it was the funnest thing ever.” These days, Melgar visits a casino in the
Lower Mainland “maybe once a month,” usually bringing a friend along. “First of all, it’s nice to get out,” he says. “It’s something to go do that’s not a bar or something else in that general direction. It’s just kind of the idea of the risk-reward thing, the fact that you could win some money, which is always kind of nice. And then if you go out, you know, you spend a couple hours or win 50 bucks, cool, it’s like you had an afternoon, you didn’t have to spend anything.” Despite his own enjoyment, Melgar says he doesn’t often see a lot of young people on the casino floor. “Occasionally if you go to the tables you might find some people my age, maybe occasionally at the slot machines, but very rarely do I find anyone there my age to be perfectly honest, unless I bring them myself.” Technology could be partly to blame, along with a rise in online gambling that has lured younger people away from land-based casinos in recent years. “Younger people are much more skewed towards sports betting, poker, and casinos,” explains Jon Kelly, CEO of the Responsible Gambling Council (RGC). “But definitely you see young people overrepresented in the area of sports betting and particularly online betting where people may well be more used to electronic gambling and comfortable with the medium
more than a lot of older people are.” “I find it’s different for everyone,” Melgar continues. “Usually the first impression of a casino usually sets the bar if people will like or dislike the casino from that point on. I find if most people go the first time and lose, they very rarely go back unless they’re dragged by someone, whereas if you go the first time and you win, then you remember that feeling. It’s that kind of inherent ‘oh, what if I win again’ kind of thing, which can also be problematic.”
The Risks
According to the RCG, youth aged 18 to 24 run the highest risk of developing a gambling problem. “We’ve done a lot of study of problem gambling and particularly problem gambling among young people and, you know, it seems to me there are several factors,” says Kelly. “One is that young people are more likely to be risk-takers across the board that’s gambling, that’s alcohol, that’s more risky driving, speeding, sex, so it seems to me part of it goes with the experimentation and just being more likely to be risk-takers.” People in the 18 to 24 age range are also at a time in their life when they’re moving away from parental controls, he explains. “They’re going to school or they’re going out to work or they’re graduating or those kinds
of things, so there’s less parental oversight and control and therefore some people are more likely to go overboard than when they were in a more controlled environment. And they’re moving out of their family houses at a time when they’re also reaching the age when they can legally gamble so those two things can play a factor.” “In some ways, too, younger people have less sense of the consequences and they have less consequences,” Kelly adds. “Like if you’re 60 years old and you run into problems with gambling, well, you know, you’ve got not much runway left to get the money back and to recover from the problem. But if you’re a young person you don’t think of consequences as much as older people do and therefore, it seems to me, the idea of being more cautious is not as developed in your mind.” Repercussions for problem gamblers can be as varied as the individuals themselves. While debt is certainly the most common, several more severe examples include crime, poverty, depression, or even suicide. Between 2003 and 2010, the B.C. Coroners Service reported 34 suicide deaths where gambling was identified as a potential risk factor. Seven of those were female and 27 were male. Ten suicide incidents took place in 2010 alone. Not only are teens more likely to develop a gambling problem than adults, but they are also more likely to commit suicide as a result. Furthermore, gambling addicts are twice as likely to commit suicide than other types of addicts. The Canada Safety Council estimates that at least 200 problem gamblers take their own lives every year in Canada.
The Resources
Despite the financial and psychological challenges involved, recovery from gambling addiction is not impossible. “There are a lot of success stories about people who had gambling problems and either get counseling and can turn themselves around and, in some cases, turn themselves around without counseling,” says Kelly. “In the same way that anybody can… with alcohol problems or smoking or in any type of addictive behaviour, there are people who simply kind of stop and say, ‘Look, this is crazy, I shouldn’t be doing this,’ and they do stop.” “There are also safeguards on the gaming side that are built into casinos and other forms of gambling for example, self-exclusion
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programs,” he continues. “So if you feel you have a gambling problem, you go to a casino, you want to ban yourself, then you can ban yourself and the casino will also withdraw you from all of the marketing and will try to help you stay out. Now, this is not foolproof but this is one piece that is helpful.” The process works similarly online as well. “What they do is they pull your account so you can’t get in,” explains Kelly. “In order to bet at PokerStars [online casino gaming website] or any of those other ones, you have to set up an account so if your account is closed down, it pretty well means that you won’t be able to get in unless you set up a whole new account and go to some extraordinary measure to get around them. But online, of course, and in the land-based casinos as well, it is always possible to go somewhere else. I mean, if you really want to get around a ban, the chances are you’re going to find a way to do it.” Resources also exist to help prevent problem gambling altogether. “We’re fairly fortunate in Canada there are a lot of measures,” says Kelly, noting small variations from province to province. In British Columbia, the B.C. Lottery Corporation (BCLC) offers GameSense, an educational program that promotes responsible play. Sarah Morris of BCLC media relations explains that “GameSense provides information to help players understand games, the odds, and the potential risks. It also speaks frankly to players about the myths and risks associated with gambling and makes sure players have access to effective programs and treatment options, should they need help.” A version of the program called GameSense for Parents “aims to create awareness of youth gambling and give parents tools and support to start a conversation with kids about the risks of gambling.” In addition, BCLC works with the province’s Gaming Policy and Enforcement Branch to ensure that minors under the age of 19 do not have access to gambling products or facilities. Advertising restrictions have also been put in place in every province, says Kelly. “There are certain things. You cannot target young people, you can’t imply that gambling is a way to make money, there are many things you can’t do when you advertise gambling. If you’re a casino, you cannot advertise winning. If you look at casino advertising, you’ll see things like excitement
The Runner
and fun and enjoyment, but they’re not allowed to talk about ‘come to this casino and you’ll win a lot of money,’ so there are quite a number of safeguards that most people would not see but they are built into the casino or the gambling venues and into gambling advertising.”
The Balance
Feature
November 26 / 2013
Ultimately, finding a balance of fun and responsibility is crucial to a gambler’s longterm safety and enjoyment. The “know your limit, play within it” slogan used in BCLC’s commercials perhaps says it best. Everyone’s limit both psychological and financial is a bit different, however, and finding it can sometimes make for some tough lessons along the way. “I’ve had my own gambling problems over the years, for sure, just kind of learning that right balance,” admits Melgar. “Sometimes you think you can win it all back and you just can’t. I always say if I’m putting money towards something, this money I have to consider already gone that I’m spending it, not that I’m gambling it, because as soon as you’re gambling it you’re trying to hope that you get that money back and then you lose more than you’re willing to lose.” Kelly notes several important differences between engaging in gambling in a way that’s reasonably safe and one that’s not. “It comes down to a number of things,” he says. “One is the reason you do it – what is the motivation for gambling? If you look at it as just a sort of mental holiday or recreation or just a way to spend some time with friends et cetera, that’s likely to be reasonably healthy. If you start looking at it as a way to make money – that is, like almost an alternative to a job – or if you get into the mindset that looks at gambling as an investment, that’s an attitude that will set you up for trouble because… you will start thinking about gambling and you will lose, and then you think well, I have to win back the money.” “In gambling terms there’s a term called chasing losses, which is, from my perspective, at the heart of almost every gambling problem,” he continues. “It’s tough to have a gambling problem if you don’t chase your losses, meaning when you lose you spend more money trying to win back the money you lost, and then you lose that, and then you borrow money to win back the bigger amount, and you can see the cycle building.
You think of it as an investment in the future sooner or later if I just keep at this, my ship will come in and I’ll be a winner….The reality is, the longer you play, the more you’re likely to lose, not the more you’re likely to win.” Chasing wins can be a slippery slope as well, says Melgar, recalling a particular instance in his past. “A friend of mine asked me to go one weekend to the River Rock so we went out there and I went with $40 bucks and I think that day I walked out with $850 and then I went again the following week and walked out with another $500, so over the week, I won basically $1300 bucks. And that’s a lot of money for someone who has no money, right? So ever since then it’s like ‘oh, I should go try and recreate that thing,’ but that will never happen again. It’s hard… because casinos play into kind of an inherent want and need to try and win money in a very foolish way.”
The Returns
When it comes to gambling, the B.C. government is one of the highest rollers of all. Commercial gaming brought in approximately $2.7 billion last year, with around $1.11 billion remaining after expenses and payouts. Provincial gaming revenue is distributed in a myriad of directions — everywhere from non-profit community organizations to economic development projects to responsible gambling initiatives. “Eighty-seven cents of every dollar gambled goes back to B.C.,” says Morris. “Forty-one cents for provincial and community programs, 24 cents for prizes for winners, 22 cents for commissions and fees to 4,000 gambling retailers and service providers.” The industry is also a source of jobs. “There are the 37,000 people employed in the gambling industry, either directly by BCLC or indirectly, across the province,” she adds. A total of $134.9 million in gaming grants were divided between eligible community organizations last year. Approximately 5,100 recipients benefitted from the funding, including several on the North Shore. Charitable organizations earned an additional $36 million through sanctioned gaming activities of their own, such as raffles and bingo tournaments. Parent Advisory Councils and District Parent Advisory Councils are also eligible to receive grants each year on a perstudent basis. There are major benefits for cities who
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host gambling establishments as well. Under provincial legislation, local governments receive a 10 per cent annual cut from every casino and community gaming centre within their jurisdiction. In 2011/12, $83.1 million was distributed across Greater Vancouver and beyond. For the city of Richmond, home to the River Rock Casino and Resort, that meant a near $15.6 million payout last year.
The Future
Although online gambling has advanced significantly in recent years, it seems as though there will always be a place for the physical casino and the printed lottery ticket. Still, groups like the BCLC recognize that the industry is ever-changing. “We need to evolve as the world and our players evolve,” says Morris. With self-serve checkouts becoming more favorable among consumers, BCLC has adapted to allow Lotto Express purchases to be made via pinpad at select grocery stores around the province. The optimization of PlayNow.com for tablets and smartphones is another new development. The regulated online gambling site was initially launched in British Columbia in 2004 for computers only. On the casino front, things are constantly evolving as well. In False Creek, plans are in the works for the Edgewater Casino to move inland to a lot adjacent to B.C. Place. Pending approval from Vancouver city council, the $535 million project could change the face of the downtown core significantly within the next few years. The Boulevard Casino in Coquitlam is undergoing major changes of its own, completely rebranding to become a Hard Rock Casino Resort on Dec. 20. Stagnant in recent years on account of highway construction, an aging clientele, and poor economy, the multi-million dollar renovation will attempt to entice a younger demographic. Be it the BCLC or the Boulevard Casino, it’s clear that big things are on the table for B.C.’s gaming industry as its major players take a gamble on new trends. “The marketplace is changing rapidly, especially in the entertainment category,” says Morris. “We need to create new business capabilities and new ways to engage consumers in order to remain relevant to existing players and to appeal to new customers.”
Procrastination
The Runner
STR8TS STR8TS
SUDOKU SUDOKU
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November 26 / 2013
© 2011 Syndicated Puzzles, Inc.
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CROSSWORD Across
1. Medicinal amount 5. Former French currency 10. Throw 14. Thames town 15. Artist's support 16. Buck follower 17. ___ extra cost 18. Minneapolis suburb 19. Places to sleep 20. Containing fossils 23. The fifth sign of the zodiac 24. Sick 25. Comprehensible 33. Hair net 34. "Hard ___!" (sailor's yell) 35. ___ Lobos 36. Structure for storing grain 37. Ready to hit 39. Civil disturbance 40. RR stop 41. Currency unit of France and Germany, among others 42. 1980 Dom DeLuise film 43. Make lurid 47. Barcelona bear 48. Vane dir. 49. Treat by psychoanalysis 56. 100 centavos 58. ___-car 59. Bring forth young 60. Canadian gas brand 61. Staggering 62. Tirade 63. Env. notation 64. Eye drops 65. Son of Zeus in Greek mythology
Down
1. Unhearing 2. Director Preminger 3. Juniors, perhaps 4. Slaughter of baseball 5. Tentacle 6. Wirelesses 7. "Clueless" catchphrase 8. Hawaiian goose
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Letters@runnermag.ca Thoughts? Concerns? Complaints? Have your say. Let us know what you think about your university, your student government, or anything that matters to you. 300 words or less
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9. Woodwind instrument 10. ___ rasa 11. Mine finds 12. Lay down the lawn 13. Distress call 21. ___ Three Lives 22. Shoppe sign word 25. Join forces 26. Atari founder Bushnell 27. Scooby-___ 28. Off-limits 29. ___ carte 30. Vigorous attack 31. Unfettered 32. This, in Tijuana 33. Flat sound 37. Absolute ruler 38. Part of TNT 39. Thor Heyerdahl craft 41. New Orleans is The Big ___ 42. Bloodsucking insect 44. Already? 45. Less cluttered 46. Historical records 49. Hey, you!
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50. Roll call call 51. Draft classification 52. Vega's constellation 53. 365 days 54. Writer Grey 55. Tolkien tree creatures 56. Seed of a legume 57. Cornerstone abbr.
Emma Gavey PhD candidate in Chemistry. Goals: Develop new magnetic complexes for memory devices. Improve our health care.
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The Runner
November 26 / 2013
Opinion
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Journalism
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Levant doesn’t deserve NASH keynote
Ezra Levant is one of four keynote speakers that will address student journalists at the 76th NASH conference. Photo courtesy David Stobbe
National student press conference no place for hateful remarks.
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Erin Sparks THE LINK
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MONTREAL — Every year the Canadian University Press hosts a national conference for student journalists. Papers from across the country send delegates to NASH, as the conference is known, and for a few days each January hundreds attend critiques, round tables and panel discussions to learn how to maximize their paper’s abilities. Notable keynotes in the past have included Brian Stelter of The New York Times, CBC’s Anna Maria Tremonti, and Ken Silverstein of Harper’s Magazine. For the 76th edition of the conference, Ezra Levant will be added to the list of memorable figures. Why are part of delegates’ fees being used to pay for a speech by someone who has gone on various tirades against minorities, and has been sued for libel multiple times in the past? Levant hosts the Sun News Network program The Source which is, as he puts it, “The most controversial news show in Canada.” Neither Levant nor his show are strangers to controversy; one of the more recent snafus the show got itself into was when Levant, while explaining why he sees banana distributing company Chiquita as “Anti-Canadian bigots,” told an executive of the company, in Spanish, to “fuck your mother.” Following an investigation by the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council, Sun News Network was found to be in violation
of the CBSC Code of Ethics. Less than a year later, Levant made comments regarding the Roma in Canada, saying that they are “a culture synonymous with swindlers. […] Too many have come here as false refugees. And they come here to gyp us again and rob us blind as they have done in Europe for centuries.” While he later apologized for his comments—six months later— in doing so he continued to refer to the Roma as “gypsies,” an outdated and derogatory term that brings into question his sincerity. I’m not opposed to hearing opinions I disagree with, or listening to different takes on the state of the Canadian media, but there is a big difference between a divergent opinion and hate speech. Levant’s own lawsuit for libel has been postponed until January. Further, while I am a strong believer in Charter-guaranteed rights of freedom of
“ ... Adding Levant to the list of keynote speakers was misguided — to say the least.” speech, it’s difficult to not take issue with the fact that a portion of each delegate fee will go towards financing Levant’s time at the conference, given his past hateful remarks. According to CUP, a total of $10,000 goes towards financial compensation for speakers, so the figure isn’t necessarily staggering, but that hardly seems to matter when one fifth of that money will go towards reinforcing the idea that Levant’s opinions, which as
the rulings by the CBSC show are frequently in breach of the ethical guidelines for broadcast, are valid, worth listening to and worth paying money to hear. The idea of being challenged by the ideas presented by keynote speakers is great, but is Ezra Levant really the kind of person that delegates should be paying fees to see? While it is impressive that CUP managed to attract someone like Levant, who is without question a well-known face in Canadian media, is it really that laudable given the fact that Levant is arguably most famous for incidents like the publication of Danish cartoons depicting the Islamic prophet Muhammad? Levant has consistently fought against funding for the CBC, furiously criticized the Alberta Human Rights Commission for the case against Reverend Stephen Boissoin—the reverend had accused gays and lesbians of a “militant homosexual agenda” and advocated that people “take whatever steps are necessary to reverse its wickedness,” suggested that environmentalists were to blame for the Lac-Mégantic tragedy this summer, and used ethnic slurs and massive generalizations when referring to a visible minority in Canada. Although a win for CUP, adding Levant to the list of keynote speakers this year was misguided—to say the least. There are hundreds of better speakers out there. He shouldn’t be given yet another venue to preach his intolerance or validate his method of journalism.
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Procrastination
The Runner
November 26 / 2013
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Horoscope
Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec 21
Capricorn Dec. 22 - Jan 20
Pumpkin spice will be your undoing.
If faulty logic angers you, you should stop reading horoscopes. You should stop reading horoscopes. Therefore, faulty logic angers you.
Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19
Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20
Save money on party balloons with free KSA condoms
Have confidence. Girls see the Ferrari, not the N.
Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19
Taurus Apr 20 - May 20
If you want to spice up your sex life, remember this: there’s no such thing as too much teeth.
Don’t make excuses for your furrie porn when you drop your computer off at Reboot; it will only make them remember your face.
Sagitarius Nov. 23 - Dec 21
Capricorn Dec. 22 - Jan 20
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metus. Morbi egestas sodales augue, et dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Integer luctus adipiscing nisi, ac
Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19
Taurus Apr 20 - May 20
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No matter what people say about Richmond, you still have Canada’s best washroom. No one can take that away from you.
Make some extra money this month with homemade vegan moustache wax in upcycled tins.
Leo Jul 24 - Aug 23 metus. Morbi egestas sodales augue, et dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Integer luctus adipiscing nisi, ac
Virgo Aug 24 - Sept 23 metus. Morbi egestas sodales augue, et dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Integer luctus adipiscing nisi, ac
Libra Sept 24 - Oct 23
Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22
Impress your significant other’s conservative parents by shopping at Ikea.
Don’t be paranoid about messages from the NSA telling you to clear your search history. It’s just dad trying to avoid awkward conversations.
Gemini May 21 - Jun 20
Next election, shake that elitist image by switching from cocaine to crack, and tell everyone you’re saving them money.
Leo Jul 24 - Aug 23
Cancer Jun 21 - Jul 23
Mars is so last month. Tell your friends you liked Kepler-78b before it was cool.
Virgo Aug 24 - Sept 23