Word of the Week: adj. what it felt like to see the courses for the fall semester

Is Jesus a top or bottom?

(For centuries, this has been the most asked question on search engine platforms such as Google, Reddit, Quora, and Wattpad. Some believe that being crucified exudes pure bottom energy and there are even arguments that can be made for Jesus being a power bottom. Others believed that if he could walk on water, he could surely ride on top. Another argument could be made for top Jesus because, according to Catholicism, a bunch of people put his meat in their mouth every week. However, the clear answer here is that Jesus is a true vers: he was directly in the middle of the twelve (exactly 6 on top and 6 on bottom). You can’t just call your sexual partners your disciples and get away with it without consequences. Bibliogists have compared the gospel for years and have found various accounts of what teens today call “kissing the homies goodnight.”)

Why do people at the bar look at me weird when I order a pitcher of beer for myself?

(Because they don’t understand the highs and lows of high school football. So what if they had to drop out of elementary school to sell drugs so that they could support their grandmas? Grow up bro.)

Shitty Image Quality By Brother Being Sold

How do you fill out this whole page every week? Strike?

Wednesday, April 5th, 2023 themedium.submissions@gmail.com

Y'all like music?

!!!QUICKIE REVIEWS!!!

Last March, there were a bunch of interesting albums that dropped. Unfortunately, we were too lazy to cover any of them. So we are going to do mini-reviews to cover everything we missed last month.

UGLY by Slowthai

Slowthai, I love you, but you can’t just spell the song’s title and call that the hook. You REALLY can’t do that for two songs. Slowthai continues his style of having songs with Ol’ Dirty Bastard-style bars followed by the most depressing song ever.

10,000 Gecs by 100 Gecs

You can only shit talk this album if you have a minimum of 10,001 gecs. Sorry, them's the rules. Whoever has the most gecs wins.

Scaring the Hoes by JPEGMafia and Danny Brown

To prove that this will be album of the year, I will list off some track titles: “Lean Beef Patty”, “Steppa Pig”, “Fentanyl Tester”, and “Jack Harlow Combo Meal”.

Ignore Grief by Xiu Xiu

This album should’ve been called “Scaring the Hoes”. Xiu Xiu are pioneers in hoe scaring music.

Live at Bush Hall by Black Country, New Road

Only Black Country, New Road can make repeating the phrase “I’m only a pig” so emotional. I was disappointed when lead singer Isaac Wood announced he was leaving the band. But this new album showed they still have a lot of gas in the tank.

Lil Pump 2 by Lil Pump

There’s a metal song on here. It is the worst song ever made. I’ve had food poisoning that was a more pleasant experience than this album.

Ben by Macklemore

Macklemore’s Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. This album is less than an hour but feels like three. Tones and I is featured on the first track. Don’t bother listening to the rest of the album. Half of these songs will be on repeat in Old Navy anyway.

Fantasy by M83

Those cheese-eating surrender monkeys did it. They created another enjoyable dream pop album. However, the album cover makes me feel uncomfortable.

Endless Summer Vacation by Miley Cyrus

Isn’t it kinda early for a summer album. At least wait until May.

READY TO BE by TWICE

I like some of the songs. But I have no idea what they’re saying half the time. It’s like they’re speaking Italian or something.

Music

“Ryuichi Sakamoto: 1/17/1952-3/28/2023”

Can You Figure Out Every Genre?

Guess The Genre Based On The Picture

Each picture below represents a different genre. Can you guess which genre each picture is meant to represent? Check the Sports page for the answers.