May 2012

May 12

May Day: Occupied

NEWS

Conservatives set to shut down three federal prisons and renowned programs Critics say proposals are not evidence-based

By Tyler Roach

On April 19 the Conservative government announced it had begun the two-year process to close three federal prisons and multiple prison programs in Ontario and Quebec, including Canada’s most notorious prison, the Kingston Penitentiary.

While much of the attention has centred around the infamous people who have spent time living in the Kingston Penitentiary, media, the public and prisoners’ rights groups have begun to ask questions about the prison closures and the effect of Bill C-10, the Conservatives “tough on crime” legislation.

Minister of Public Safety, Vic Toews, has stated that the government is expecting to relocate approximately 1,000 inmates to prisons in other jurisdictions.

“The time has come to recognize its crumbling infrastructure, costly upkeep and severe limitations in effectively managing a population of maximum-security male offenders and, in the case of Leclerc Institution, medium-security offenders,” stated Toews.

The government believes closing these two institutions will save more than $120 million dollars.

Critics of Bill C-10, however, are questioning the closure of the federal prisons due to the bills potential to dramatically increase the prisoner population in Canada. Two of those critical voices are the federal budget watchdog Kevin Page and the Ontario Liberal Party Correctional Services Minister Madeleine Meilleur.

In February, Kevin Page issued a report questioning the costs associated with Bill C-10 arguing that if the provisions in Bill C-10 were the law in 200809 the federal government costs would have reached an additional $8 million and that the provincial governments could expect an extra $137 million price tag. Page’s report also stated that the average cost per offender could rise from $2,600 to $41,000.

Madeleine Meilleur has also questioned Toews’ perceived savings saying that the Ontario government is “already housing some of their inmates because they don’t have space in their federal penitentiary and now they’re closing one of their larger ones, so I don’t understand their decision.”

Meilleur has stated that the Ontario Liberals expect the crime bill to cost the Ontario people an additional $1 billion dollars over the next four years.

With C-10 in place, “there’ll be more people that are being put in jail, so we’ll need more beds.

So, it’s going to put pressure on the province because we are already housing some of their

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clients,” said Meilleur.

Vic Toews has responded to these concerns arguing, “the influx of new prisoners originally predicted is not materializing” and that the Conservatives can close these prisons confidently with “no intention of building any new prisons.”

Recently, however, the federal government has come under attack when designs for the Collins Bay federal prison upgrades were made public as the plans show that standard prison cells are being designed with the capacity for doublebunks. Bunk beds in long-term prison cells do not meet United Nations standards. The Conservatives have stated that the cells do not currently have double bunks but are being built with metal brackets in place to allow for quick retrofitting in the case where it is needed.

The NDP critic Jack Harris questioned the Conservatives’ motives acknowledging that Correctional Services Canada currently reports that 13 per cent of male prisoners in a federal centre are living in double bunk cells and that that number is expected to rise to 30 per cent.

Speaking towards Bill C-10 and the governments plans for double bunks, Harris said, “The prudent planning would be to avoid the kinds of prisons policies that they’ve got now, which is going to lead to more violence, people with less rehabilitation after being in prison and coming out being more

dangerous offenders than when they went in.”

Along with closing three prisons, the Conservatives 2012 budget also saw the Federal prison rehabilitation program Life Lines cut. Correctional Services Canada (CSC) describes Life Lines as a “collaborative project of CSC, National Parole Board and other Community organizations aimed at supporting ‘lifers.’”

The Life Lines rehabilitation program received multiple awards and is currently being used as template for the rehabilitation of consistent re-offenders in other countries.

It is hailed as a unique program because it uses a mentoring program using “lifers” currently on parole to help and support other offenders facing life sentences.

Speaking on behalf of the St. Leonard’s society, one of the community organizations in charge of Life Lines, Skip Graham stated that Life Lines is, “the most practical, humane program that has proven itself, and it’s the one they’ve decided to eliminate, so it’s just politics.

Despite its international recognition and the concerns of organizations such as St. Leonard’s Society, in a letter replying to the CBC, Vic Toews spokesperson Julie Carmichael wrote that “It wasn’t producing any results that improved public safety. We will not spend a dollar on corrections that is not necessary to keep Canadians safe.

PHOTO: edith maracle via flickr

Quebec student march ends in arrests CLASSE members protest exclusion from negotiations with provincial government

By Laurent Bastien Corbeil and Henry Gass MONTREAL (CUP) — As April came to a close, police clashed with protesters as negotiations broke down between provincial student associations and the Quebec government.

The breakdown came after Education Minister Line Beauchamp barred members of the Coalition large de l’Association pour une solidarité syndicale étudiante (CLASSE) from participating in talks.

The Fédération étudiante universitaire du Québec (FEUQ) and the Fédération étudiante collégiale du Québec (FECQ) left the negotiation table in solidarity with CLASSE. The protest More than 5,000 protesters gathered at Place Émilie-Gamelin at around 8:30 p.m. on April 25 before marching through the streets of downtown Montreal.

The demonstration remained calm until protesters reached the intersection of Ste. Catherine and Guy. Demonstrators overturned garbage bins, smashed bank windows, and hurled rocks at police cars.

Riot police intervened at around 10:30 p.m. by detonating concussion grenades, throwing tear gas canisters, and charging the protesters at the intersection of Ste. Catherine and Metcalfe.

After regrouping on Sherbrooke, demonstrators marched down St. Denis and clashed for a second time with police on René Lévesque.

Beer bottles and rocks were thrown as demonstrators scattered before charging riot police.

The crowd dispersed at around 12:00 a.m.

Small altercations between police and demonstrators continued throughout the night.

The monthly newspaper for continuing education, distance education and part-time students at Ryerson Address

Around 60 protestors were arrested at 1:30 a.m. on the corner of St. Dominique and des Pins after being kettled an hour and a half earlier.

According to the Service de police de la Ville de Montréal (SPVM), a total of 85 people were arrested.

The truce Beauchamp accused CLASSE of breaking the “truce” she called for on April 23 as a condition for negotiations. Under the “truce,” CLASSE was told not to hold any demonstrations during a 48-hour negotiation period.

Students held a demonstration on the evening of April 24 that ended in a smashed HSBC window and several arrests.

“This demonstration was announced on the site of the student association called the CLASSE,” Beauchamp told reporters in a press conference the next day.

“We cannot pretend today that they have dissociated themselves. I consider therefore that the CLASSE has excluded itself from the negotiation table,” continued Beauchamp.

Three smoke bombs were also detonated on the morning of April 25, one each in the LionelGroulx and Henri-Bourassa metro stations, and one in the Complexe Desjardins.

Students’ Society of McGill University vicepresident external Joël Pedneault said excluding CLASSE “is possibly the worst move [the government] could have done at this stage.”

“At least in Montreal, the vast majority of student activists and people who are involved in the strike are with CLASSE and support CLASSE, so it definitely won’t reduce the

amount of conflict related to the strike,” said Pedneault.

CLASSE, considered the most radical of the major student associations by the government, denounced violence carried out during the tenth week of the student strike, but refused to condemn civil disobedience or acts of self-defense.

Nadeau-Dubois responded to Beauchamp’s offer of a truce on April 23 by neither accepting nor rejecting the offer.

“Spokespeople for CLASSE — of which I am one — don’t have the power to take a position on a truce, nor to constrain the 180,000 students on strike and order them to stop mobilizing,” Nadeau-Dubois said in a press conference on April 23.

“So the truce that she has asked for is de facto in effect,” he added.

Nadeau-Dubois has insisted that CLASSE had not planned any actions this week, and, while Tuesday’s demonstration was announced on the association’s website, CLASSE was not involved in its organization.

Pedneault said CLASSE “could have taken a clearer line” on the truce offer.

“They could have rejected outright the truce and said they’re still going to be at the negotiation table, or something to that effect.”

In a press conference Wednesday afternoon, Nadeau-Dubois said Beauchamp “doesn’t want to talk about the tuition hike.”

“This decision by Madame Beauchamp is obviously another strategy to sabotage the discussions,” he added.

With files from Jordan Venton-Rublee

“We Are Ontario” Campaign Key to Ontario Budget Concessions 10,000 rally at Queen’s Park

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Contributors lindsey addawoo marie alcober erin byrnes David Coombs chera-lee Hicox Krystalline Kraus bob lackie joseph lee samantha lui max mertens Tyler Roach kelsey rolfe John Rose hana shafi

Publisher CESAR The opinions expressed in the Ryerson Free Press are not necessarily those of the editors or publisher.

By John Rose On April 21 more than 10,000 workers and activists met at Queen’s Park in Toronto to protest Liberal Premier Dalton McGuinty’s proposed budget.

Flags from the province’s largest unions could be seen blowing in the cold spring wind, and workers from across the province expressed their anger and concern over public sector cuts.

The rally and march were organized by the Ontario Federation of Labour (OFL) and a new campaign called “We Are Ontario.” The campaign is designed to challenge cuts to jobs and services.

About 10 speakers from over 90 unions and community groups took turns at the microphone to comment on the budget. These included representatives from the Ontario Federation of Labour, Canadian Union of Public Employees, Ontario Secondary School Teachers Federation, Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario, Ontario Public Service Employees Union, Public Service Alliance of Canada, Canadian Auto Workers, the NDP, and representatives from the Canadian Federation of Students, Colour of Poverty and other community organizations. It was a strong show of solidarity from across the private and public sectors.

Sid Ryan, president of the OFL, spoke against the budget saying it will cut funding for hospitals, schools and social assistance. Many speakers talked about the impact of the budget on workers and the most economically vulnerable people in the province, and some called for social assistance, at the very least, to be increased to the levels during the Mike Harris years.

Recognizing the precarious economic environment, speakers reminded the government how difficult it is to live off of the current low rates of social assistance, and how cuts disproportionately affect new immigrants and racialized communities.

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There was a common theme reiterated by the speakers that the current economic crises were not caused by workers, and that workers should not have to pay for it. Calls for increasing corporate taxes, and tax on highincome earners were almost unanimous.

With Tim Hudak and the Progressive Conservatives dedicated to voting against the budget, there were questions about whether the NDP would support it, or vote against it and force an election.

Labour leaders at the rally largely supported Andrea Horwath’s attempts to negotiate progressive changes to the proposed budget, and she committed herself to doing so at the rally.

In the end, she followed through. McGuinty agreed to a 1 per cent increase to OW and ODSP, which will constitute $55 million in social assistance expenditures. In addition, he agreed to a 2 per cent surtax on highincome earners making more than $500,000 a year. This is projected to raise $470 million in 2013-14 to be allocated toward deficit reduction. The budget passed, with the NDP abstaining from the vote.

Following the budgets passage, Ryan was quick to give credit for the budget concessions to the “We Are Ontario” campaign.

“We were the catalysts for all of the positive elements in the final budget deal that was eventually brokered,” stated Ryan in an April 27 press release. “‘We Are Ontario,’ brings together 90 community and labour organizations and is poised to fill the void left by the Occupy Movement,” Ryan added. “Recovering the billions of dollars owed to the public treasury by corporations is our next goal. We want that money, for ourselves, our public services and our futures.”

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The CETA-stration of Canadian Municipalities Pending trade agreement with EU only benefits big business

By Chera-Lee Hicox As Canada negotiates its furthest reaching free trade agreement to date, cities and towns across the country are sounding warning bells that it could change local governance as we know it.

The Canadian government is negotiating a Comprehensive Economic and Trade Agreement (CETA) with the European Union. The accord goes far beyond the reach of the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA), offering unrestricted trade in goods, services and investments between the 27 EU nations and all levels of Canadian government.

“The first thing to realize is that it [CETA] involves far more than trade,” says Scott Sinclair, Senior Research Fellow with the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives (CCPA). He warns of the potential for the deal to greatly affect municipalities’ ability to govern.

The agreement has become known as the “next-generation” deal because of the degree to which it includes all aspects of trade, covering intellectual property, standards and regulations, settlement dispute resolutions, services, investments and government procurement.

The biggest business leaders in Canada and Europe have been the driving force behind the negotiations. They stand to profit, particularly through the agreement’s offer of sub-national procurement contracts, which is creating worry and opposition within municipalities.

Municipal-level governments traditionally use procurement contracts to benefit the local economy, opening bids, or a tender contracts, that target local businesses. These local contracts create jobs and opportunities in the region, and and can promote certain kinds of development policies.

But under CETA, non-federal contracts, formerly exempted from free trade agreements, will soon be open to any and all competition, and not limited to local businesses or groups.

For example, the City of Charlottetown recently announced an $18 million combined sewer contract that will be opened up to local Maritime engineering, construction and water treatment companies.

For a major project such as this, Charlottetown might look to local contractors for the construction services in order to create jobs in the community. The project may also use the tenders to support environmental or other development initiatives.

However if CETA becomes law, Charlottetown would lose its authority to choose to hire locally and to choose to which parties to grant the procurement contract.

The EU is pushing for a “non-discrimination” clause within the CETA agreement that would mean the procurement terms would apply to all levels of government: when any government calls a bid, it must be open to foreign investors as well as local or national ones.

Minimum limits (or “thresholds”) are in place to distinguish projects and services that are worthwhile to open to foreign investors, which allow smaller contracts to remain outside the purview of the CETA. These limits have been criticized as being too low; they are modelled off of World Trade Organization figures and are set at $340,600 for goods and services and $8.5 million for construction projects.

Charlottetown city councillor Cecil Villard admitted that while the thresholds pose little to no threat for a municipality the size of his city, larger municipalities have much to lose.

“My first reaction was that I would be more concerned about the level of thresholds if I were a big city. Toronto’s, Vancouver’s, and Montreal’s are sure to feel the impact,” Villard told The Dominion in an interview.

In fact, municipalities have been calling for a complete exemption from the agreement.

The City of Toronto passed a resolution on March 6 demanding its exemption from CETA. And Toronto is not alone: Montreal, Hamilton, Burnaby, Prince Albert and Kingston have all passed resolutions to safeguard their rights to local governance.

The Federation of Canadian Municipalities (FCM) has submitted seven principles to International Trade Minister Ed Fast and the negotiating team. The principles lay out the protections it would like to see in CETA. The Council of Canadians and the Canadian Union of Public Employees (CUPE) have also launched a major national campaign to educate and empower the public on the potential consequences of CETA. As pointed out in a recent NDP report, CETA “deprives provincial and municipal governments of crucial economic levers, particularly during economic downturns, to use government purchasing to stimulate the economy and encourage local spinoffs.”

CETA fails to recognize the autonomy of municipalities and is solely playing to the interests of big businesses, say its critics. “It’s a bill of rights for corporations,” according to Leo Broderick, Vice Chair of the Council of Canadians.

This article was originally published by The Dominion.

“If we go back, I’m afraid that we will be the next family to be killed.”

Roma Refugees in Canada Face Uncertain Future

By Marie Alcober When Mark Horvath was four years old, the man living with his mother was enraged when he found out that they were of Roma descent. He threatened Judit Kiss with a gun and left Korom, the northeastern Hungarian village they were living in, with little Mark in tow.

Kiss enlisted the help of a local doctor to approach police and arrest the man who kidnapped her child. Soon after Mark was reunited with his mother, the family moved to Hungary’s capital, Budapest, hoping that the bigger Roma population in the city would mean more tolerant Hungarian neighbours.

But it wasn’t what they expected. Kiss, 49, a trained nurse back in Korom, could not find one entry-level job that any employer would let her fill.

“It is because she’s Roma,” Horvath said.

There is an estimated 12 million Roma currently facing exclusion, violence, and ill-treatment in Europe. According to an Amnesty International report, the travellers or gypsies, as they are commonly known in Europe, score the lowest on key social measures such as employment, education, and healthcare compared to ethnic nationals.

For the 800,000 Romani in Hungary, persecution from the increasing presence of the extreme right-wing Jobbik party in

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the Hungarian parliament is steadily rising.

Critics have called the party anti-Semitic in addition to anti-Romany.

Attacks in the form of drive-by shootings, beatings, and death threats demonstrated by burning swastikas have driven Roma refugee numbers into Canada resulting in 4,423 refugee claims in 2011, up from only 2,296 from the year before.

But the family is safe – for now. Horvath is now 18 years old, sitting beside his mother and older brother, Janos Horvath, in a Mississauga church basement.

Janos, 29, first heard about Canada’s refugee protection system when his cousin claimed refugee status two years ago. And so he came too, along with his wife Eva Ronto, 24, and daughter Virag, 3.

“A lot of Hungarians don’t like us,” Janos said. “They want to kill all the gypsies.”

According to him, Canada is different – and he likes it. He says there is no discrimination here and no one minds their broken English and heavy accents.

Janos and his family lived in Niagara since February of last year while he took ESL (English as Second Language) courses and his wife worked at a motel.

Janos is now looking for a job in the Greater Toronto Area because an immigra-

tion judge ruled that he can’t stay in the country if he doesn’t find employment within this month.

“I’m scared. And I’m scared for my family,” Janos said. “If we go back, I’m afraid that we will be the next family to be killed.”

A year after Janos Horvath’s family came to Canada, minister of citizenship and immigration Jason Kenney proposed new legislation that would “protect Canada’s immigration system” from immigration abuse that’s costing taxpayers approximately $170 million.

Roma refugees have been pouring into Canada for the past few years after visa requirements for Hungary were lifted in 2007, but a recent spike in claims in the past year has prompted the government to review the Canadian refugee protection system. Kenney expects to start implementing the changes to the immigration system starting this fall.

Under Bill C-31, the minister would have the power to draw up a definite list of safe countries without consulting a human rights committee whose experts would be more versed with varying levels of persecution of minority groups in democratic countries.

Anyone who is rejected because they come from a country on the safe list would no longer be allowed to appeal the decision.

They would be deported without proper

examination of the conditions they are going back to.

Although there has been increasing attention on the persecution of the Roma population in Europe, Kenney does not think Roma-Hungarians deserve the safety that Canada offers, maintaining that Hungary’s membership to the European Union should reassure the minority group an incoming crackdown on discrimination from the Hungarian government.

But the Horvath family talks about men who used to threaten the Romani and Jewish church-goers in their small village; men in heavy clothing who hold up signs reading “Kill The Gypsies.”

These far-right vigilantes who patrol eastern Hungarian villages with large Roma populations, associate themselves with a group called Vedero or Defense Force and have made recent headlines for stirring racial hatred towards the minority group.

“So many of us are sent back because the judge thinks Hungary is safe. But my country lies,” Horvath said.

Mark Horvath is temporarily attending Glenforest Secondary School while his mother attends ESL classes and looks for a job.

They are still waiting for a hearing regarding their refugee status.

FEATURES The Limits of DrugsNot4Me

By Hana Shafi

Eighteen-year-old Chris Fotos couldn’t turn his brain off.

His thoughts were buzzing for hours.

Desperate to fall asleep, he alternated between the couches in his basement, unable to stay on one for more than hour, sweating, leaving each couch drenched. Fotos’s high diminished after eight hours.

His experience seemed to resemble the nightmarish scenes shown in Health Canada’s DrugsNot4Me commercials, particularly one where a young boy has a flash-forward about what might happen to his life if he smokes pot at a party.

But Fotos, now 19, wasn’t on any socially unacceptable drugs—he took one pill of Concerta, an ADHD medication prescribed to one of his friends.

While DrugsNot4Me attempts to discourage the use of drugs like marijuana, ecstasy. and crack cocaine, there’s no mention of the abuse of prescription drugs, a growing issue among Canadian youth.

DrugsNot4Me is a youth-targeted campaign aiming to decrease illegal drug use among Canadian youth as part of the National Anti-Drug Strategy, announced in 2007 by Prime Minister Stephen Harper, and funded by $50 million.

“I didn’t know it’d be exactly like meth,” Fotos says, describing his experience taking Concerta. “I can’t believe they’re giving that to kids.” While Concerta may not be exactly like meth, Fotos’ claims are not entirely false. According to the Canadian Alcohol and Drug Use Monitoring Survey, stimulant drugs used to treat ADHD, like Concerta, Ritalin, and Adderall, are described as “amphetamine-like drugs.”

But while the “Drug Facts” page of the DrugsNot4Me website contains information about the harms of cocaine and meth, there isn’t one category on the page that deals with the harms of abusing prescription drugs.

“Money is not really a huge factor in obtaining and abusing prescription drugs because your parents will have it,” says senior toxicologist, Hana Fikree. “For things like opioid drugs that can actually act on the cardiovascular system, abusing these kinds of drugs is serious.”

Opioids are pain reliever drugs and the most commonly used prescription drugs in Canada. In fact, 18 per cent of students in Ontario reported using opioid pain relievers nonmedically. In total, 20 per cent of Ontario students reported using at least one prescription drug non-medically in 2009, while 75 percent got it from their parents.

The first time Fotos used a prescription drug non-medically, he took six pills of the drug amitriptyline. At the time, it was prescribed to his father. “The big risk is prescriptions.

You could die. They’re just more dangerous because a lot of them are based on the street drugs that you would never do,” Fotos says.

Many prescription drugs do contain very diluted forms of certain “street drugs.” Taken in excess amounts, they can lead to dependence. “The active ingredient of Tylenol 3 is codeine, which is metabolized to morphine. Morphine is structurally similar to heroin,” Fikree says.

Even non-prescription over-the-counter drugs have potential for abuse. Twelve-hour Sudafed, a cold medicine and decongestant containing pseudo-ephedrine, can be used to create crystal meth, Fikree says. “There’s a reason why the 12-hour stuff is not on the shelf anymore,” she says. “You PHOTO: kurt faler via flickr

don’t need a doctor’s prescription for it, but you do need to ask a pharmacist for it.”

However, while the DrugsNot4Me campaign may not address the issue of prescription drug abuse, it does aim to decrease illicit drug use where it’s more prevalent, particularly in vulnerable communities in Manitoba, Saskatchewan, and Nunavut. The DrugsNot4Me website also includes numbers to various helplines that teens can call if they’re struggling with addiction or feel pressured by their peers to engage in drug use.

Although DrugsNot4Me focuses on the use of illegal drugs, it does support other groups that choose to spread awareness on the abuse of prescription drugs. Partnership for a Drug Free Canada recently launched their first major national multi-media campaign. Their commercials show the statistics from CAMH’s 2009 Ontario Youth Study on how 20 per cent of Ontario teenagers have abused prescription drugs, and three quarters of them get the drugs from home.

PDFC approached Health Canada and the DrugsNot4Me campaign on the issue. “Their strategy did not include that because the research they had at that time, it [prescription drug abuse] was not as significant a problem as it is today,” says Marc Paris, Executive Director for PDFC. “They couldn’t change their course midway,” he added. However, Health Canada was pleased that another group would take

the time to address the issue said Paris.

But some young people feel that even with combatting the problem of illicit drug use, DrugsNot4Me misses the mark. “I think that those ads are fear mongering,” says Ryerson’s vice-president equity, Rodney Diverlus. “They play on stereotypes of what a drug-user looks like, it’s portrayed in a really patronizing, negative light.” The DrugsNot4Me website lists peer pressure, pleasure, boredom, self-esteem, mental illness and coping with stress, among other reasons, as to why young people use drugs.

Diverlus, however, believes that there are also other socioeconomic issues that prompt drug use, and believes that addressing those issues will ultimately decrease drug use, whether it be illicit or prescription drugs. “It’s in tackling things like youth poverty and youth homelessness, tackling things like violence and sexual assaults,” Diverlus says. “Telling people not to do something doesn’t work. It’s about providing resources for people, providing rehabilitation, contact for clinics, youth groups, community groups that are catered to actually providing resources.”

The National Anti-Drug Strategy is currently slated to continue until 2015. But, whether or not the DrugsNot4Me campaign will effectively change the drug behaviours of youth remains questionable.

“Most kids are gonna do drugs,” said Fotos, “so, let them know how to be safe. That’s how you’re gonna save lives.”

Ryerson Free Press May 2012 5

The ten commandments of online dating

By Kelsey Rolfe

A good friend of mine has always been much more interested in my romantic endeavors, or lack thereof, than I am. She suggested that I sign up for online dating, just for the fun of it.

“At the very least,” she said, “you’ll get some funny messages.” After some cajoling, I decided to give it a try.

I’m no expert on dating online, but after a month of being online, as well as hearing friends’ online dating horror stories, I think I have a good handle on what work—and what doesn’t.

There’s no shame in dating online, but you have to be smart about it. Take note of these cardinal sins, or else you may find yourself with very few quality responses.

1 “Hi how r u” is not a legitimate conversation starter: It might be in real life, but not as an opening line (especially not if it’s spelled that incorrectly). It’s boring and lacks creativity. The aim of the game is to show the other person you actually took the time to read something about her. Find an interest that sticks out to you, and ask about it.

2 Generic messages are a dead give-away: If you write the same thing to every girl, believe me, it’s obvious. It only takes you a couple of minutes to read the profile of a girl you’re interested in, and a couple more to think of something creative to say. Don’t be lazy.

3 Don’t word-vomit: Keep your opening messages under a paragraph—which is three or four sentences maximum, and that’s being generous. Looking at a wall of text is frightening for most people, especially when they don’t know the sender. And the longer you ramble, the more prone you are to devolving into nonsense. In online dating, as in show business, always leave them wanting more.

4 Ask her about herself: It’s not that she isn’t interested in you. But opening with a paragraph about how awesome you are just isn’t going to get a response, because it sounds narcissistic. At-

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taching one line to that paragraph that asks her about herself isn’t much better.

5 Backwards compliments will get you nowhere: A “neg” is an insult wrapped in a compliment.

Some guys use them as opening lines, in the hopes of catching a girl’s attention. (Like saying, “I don’t usually go for nerds, but you’re cute so it’s okay.”) Be better than that guy.

6 Avoid the ab-shot at all costs: Taking a picture in the mirror of your abdominals is not the best choice here. It’s the equivalent of when 13-year-old girls make the duck-face. I’m so happy that you have a six-pack. But you are more than your abs. Let your picture showcase that.

7 Speaking of pictures, don’t use one of you and your last girlfriend: If that’s the only picture you have of yourself, take a new one. Please.

8 Don’t send photos of your peen to unsuspecting women: Give the poor woman some warning before you unleash the Kraken. Or, better yet, save it for Chatroulette.

9 You’re means you are. Your means your: And yes, it is important. Your sentences take on different meanings if you mess this one up. Same goes for other oft-confused words, such as they’re/their/there and its/it’s. Don’t be ashamed if you don’t know the difference; just Google it before you send the message.

10 Give your messages a cursory edit: A grammatically and syntactically correct message, with proper spelling, shows her you care. And, as an added bonus, you look 30 per cent smarter.

Just take these ten commandments into consideration, and you will do no wrong in the world of online dating. Unless you’re a bona fide creep. In that case, I just can’t help you.

PHOTO: don hankins via flickr

May Day

By Lindsey Addawoo

If you thought Toronto had seen the last of its vibrant, dedicated Occupy protestors, you thought wrong.

Occupy Toronto, along with other community organizations, met in Nathan Phillips Square at 4 p,m. on May 1 in light of International Workers’ Day to protest injustice once again.

This much anticipated event originally started as the Occupy Movement in American cities such as Portland and New York City, and was motivated by the general strikes initiated. May Day has now branched out of Toronto’s own Occupy movement, and is in conjunction with many other groups.

According to Occupy member and organizer of the action committee Lana Goldberg, it’s still “mostly about [combating] corporate greed and bailout [at] the expense of ordinary people.”

Occupy‘s May Day mandate is extensive, yet clear: it is a fight for equality on all fronts.

Starting with International Workers Day, a day chosen to recognize and celebrate the labour movement across the globe, it commemorates the 1886 Haymarket massacre in Chicago when police officers opened fire on

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several demonstrators during a general strike, resulting in several deaths. International trade unions and political parties across the globe appointed May 1 as the official date to stop work, and since then, workers have declared May Day as an official holiday everywhere.

Occupy May Day was specifically chosen on International Worker’s Day because of its relevance in countries outside of North America. “ International workers day is a national holiday in countries around the world,” Goldberg says. “Except, in North America, we have Labour Day.” The day consisted of a joint rally at 4 p.m. followed by a march around the city, and ended in Alexandra Park with cultural performances and events as a symbol of Toronto’s diverse 99 per cent. Groups such as No One is Illegal (NOII) also participated.

“The march on May Day is about immigrant rights, worker’s rights, and the 99 per cent,” NOII organizer Syed Hussan says. “It’s about the most marginalized people in North American society.”

NOII has been organizing May Day demonstrations in Toronto since before Occupy Toronto had taken to the streets last

year, publicly fighting for immigrant rights since 2006. “When the call came for May Day we reached out to Occupy Toronto and asked them to work with us [to] organize May Day,” Hussan says.

Both Occupy participants and community organizations are grateful for the widespread support of various focus groups.

However, there are concerns that a plethora of interests diluted a central cause.

“There are a host of other issues like environmental issues, indigenous rights et cetera, because of the diversity,” Goldberg says. “The focus is still on financial issues, growth and equality in and between different countries.

The Occupy movement allows different voices to be heard and different issues to be raised under that one umbrella.”

This is especially true for visible minority groups such as Barrio Nuevo, fighting to unify people in immigrant, non-status, unionized, or underprivileged positions. May Day provided the opportunity for interest groups to come together as a unified front against injustices in society.

“This is a great opportunity for Canada and U.S. to join in solidarity with workers

around the world, [to] celebrate workers,” Goldberg says. “It’s a good opportunity to work with people who struggle and to sort of push those issues in Canada around jobs and the measures that happen at every level of government.”

May Day’s goals involved a show of solidarity with international workers day; to respect indigenous sovereignty to defend/ expand public services, and move beyond capitalism, just to name a few. “[They’re] not demands but more our beliefs and desires. They’re an attempt to raise awareness about these issues and show power of people uniting and acting together,” Goldberg says.

She says May Day will launch a series of short and long-term occupations over the summer. “We’ve already seen some change in Toronto when Major Rob Ford was attempting to slash public services and jobs. A coalition wrote emails and signed petitions and organized a rally outside,” she says.

“It shows when people come together then changes can occur. I think if we focus on specific issues with allies, then we can bring about more change.”

PHOTOS: David Coombs and Krystalline Kraus

Ryerson Free Press May 2012 9

OPINION F-35s and government lies: the Peter McKay story

By Joseph Lee

For all the budgetary issues this country has, Canada can add one more to the evermounting list. The F-35 Lightning fighter, a fighter jet, is a multinational project that has been in development for a few years now. Initially, Canada signed on to purchase the jets along with the United States, Australia, Japan, Israel, and others. The idea was to spread the costs of the project over all of the nations which bought into it, so that the initial costs would go down. It was kind of like a Groupon discount.

The problem was that we signed on to the project while it was still in its development stages, so, as you know, costs are likely to go up, especially if the product in question is some sort of crazy war machine with a bunch of super-sophisticated bits and bobs.

So now the Canadian people have found out, through the Auditor General, that the cost of these jets is not $9 billion, which was the initial price we were told, or even $14.7 billion, which was the second price announced by the Defence Department. The cost is actually $24.7 billion. That’s a $10 billion discrepancy from the second announced price.

How does a government so enamored by their reputation as fiscally conservative deal with a discrepancy so huge? Well, first, they try to hide it. When that doesn’t work, there’s always the suppression of debate, and then the censorship of those who testify in front of committee.

It’s hard to say which is worse: that the Conservative government didn’t simply own up to the total cost of the program; or that they attempted to cover it up for such a long time. If this information had been revealed prior to the 2011 federal elections, we might be looking at a very different political landscape in Canada.

So who’s to blame?

Well, no one and everyone. Apparently, the good folks over at the Defence Department already knew about the pricing discrepancy, and the Right Honourable Minister of Defence, Peter McKay already knew about the (very generous) rounding down of the price of the jets.

The fact that it took a report from the Auditor General to inform the Canadian public of

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this error is a shaming indictment of the transparency of the current Canadian government.

How are we expected to trust a government that not only actively lies to the Canadian people, but does not see it necessary to have a certain amount of fiscal responsibility in a time where the majority of Canadian people are having trouble paying their bills, much less footing the bill for fighter jets that we may never have to use in a combat situation?

The truth is, we really can’t trust this government. More to the point, we really can’t trust our Minister of Defence, you know, the guy in charge of defending the country from foreign threats. Hell, if you can’t trust that guy, I’m not sure you can trust anybody.

Peter McKay’s not a bad guy. I mean, I’ve always had the sneaking suspicion that he’s only able to get plum cabinet gigs because of his dashing looks and minor celebrity status, but so far, he’s been relatively competent.

He hasn’t been at the centre of as many controversies as the current President of the Treasury Board, Tony Clement, and he didn’t leave classified government documents at a TV station like our current Minister of Labour and union-bashing expert, Lisa Raitt, but as you can see, short of throwing a tantrum at an airport and being married to Rahim Jaffer, there’s really no way to get kicked out of the Conservative Party of Canada.

Should Peter McKay lose his job over the F-35 scandal? Definitely. Will he? It’s highly unlikely. He was the leader of the federal Progressive Conservatives for a good four months, and he’s one of Stephen Harper’s handful of trusty lieutenants, so it’s more than likely that he’s not even going to get so much as a slap on the wrist for his extremely unprofessional and duplicitous conduct.

These are strange times we live in. We all know that politicians lie, but $10 billion is a lot of money, and we’re seeing our government disregard figures as large as this for the sake of complying with our NATO allies. We all have to ask the question: is fighting wars more important to this government than the economic well-being of the people of Canada? If it is, we have to seriously rethink the mandate we gave them in 2011.

PHOTO: United states Marine Corps via flickr

10 Reasons why we’ll miss Rick Santorum

By Joseph Lee Rick Santorum was a presidential candidate who actually believed his own campaign’s rhetoric, which means he was an awful politician. Santorum was the kind of guy who knew his talking points and stuck to them. He was the sweater vest of American politics: bland, shapeless, and in dire need of sleeves. Sadly, he at least had a modicum of conservatism, unlike the winner of the Republican presidential primary, Mr. We-Share-Humorous-Type-Things-At-Our-Dinner-Events Romney. Romney is like sliced white bread, if it was dipped in mayonnaise and thrown in a vat of white glue. Even worse, his positions on key issues change more often than Lady Gaga’s outfits at an awards show.

Needless to say, Rick Santorum was perhaps the only viable, truly conservative presidential candidate in the Republican primary. Michelle Bachmann could have been one had she not been clearly insane, and Herman Cain could also have qualified, had he been more qualified.

But alas, it’s all over now, as Santorum is officially out of the race, and Mitt Romney is the last man standing. In honour of his time on the campaign trail, here’s ten reasons why we’ll miss Rick Santorum:

3 Once, on the campaign trail, he called bullshit on a New York Times reporter for asking him if it was true that he said Mitt Romney was the worst Republican in the country. This was right after a speech several days before where he called Mitt Romney the worst possible Republican presidential candidate in the country. It sure doesn’t beat strangling someone a la Chrétien, but you know, Americans can only wish their politics were as interesting as ours. But the fact that he called out a reporter, that takes guts man, guts.

8 Google “Santorum.” NSFW. Thank me later.

4 Now there’s no one to tell little boys they can’t bowl with pink bowling balls. While Romney is anti-gay now, it was a completely different story when he was governor of Massachusetts, so you never know. If Romney tests a new position on gay rights, and it turns out that more Republicans support it than oppose it, who’s going to be the anti-gay candidate in the election?

1 He may have seemed as boring as Mitt Romney (or RomneyBot) but he really wasn’t. He has family in Italy who are —gasp—Communists. I bet that beats Barack Obama and his madrasas in Indonesia anytime.

5 Santorum isn’t a Mormon. Now don’t get me wrong, Mormonism’s a perfectly acceptable faith, it even has its own musical. But as the leader of a party where Evangelical Christians are the most solid base of support, Romney’s going to have a lot of trouble convincing those folks, who by the way, don’t believe Mormons are Christians, that he’s not going to have them digging in their backyards for golden plates any time soon.

2 He’s the perfect Catholic. The U.S. didn’t have a Catholic president until JFK, and we all know how that turned out.

Also, he has the perfect Catholic family. I mean, with eight children, I don’t know how he pays for the healthcare. (As long as the government doesn’t do it, who cares?)

6 There isn’t going to be anyone waging a war on porn.

We all know pornography is a scourge upon this world, but Santorum was the only one brave enough to stand up against all those twelve year old boys with sticky laptops and tell them that it’s time for a change.

PHOTO: gage skidmore via flickr

7 Romney is a snob who went to university. It’s common knowledge that universities are places of liberal indoctrination. Who’s to say Romney isn’t a liberal sleeper agent just waiting to be activated? Now, Santorum may have went to three post-secondary institutions, but we all know he had enough moral fiber to withstand the liberal brainwashing, which is more than can be said for the majority of American youth.

9 He hated libertarians. As awful as social conservatives are, they hold no candle to libertarians. Libertarians are like anarchists who happen to be members of the NRA. Ron Paul was great in that he was anti-war, but awful in that he came across as pro-heroin. Santorum recognized a dangerous, possibly extremist faction in his own party and vowed to combat it. Guts.

10 I may say a lot of outrageous things about conservatives, but I really do respect a person who holds true to their beliefs.

In a sea of manufactured personalities, Santorum came across as genuine. As much as I disagree with his politics, and oh, how I disagree with all of them, I have to respect the man for at least putting his money where his mouth is and running on his beliefs. Hypocrites are a dime a dozen, but true-blue conservatives are hard to find.

Finally, let’s all give our condolences to Miss Congeniality, Newt Gingrich, who has finally accepted defeat and dropped out of the Republican primary. Let’s hope the trauma of losing doesn’t make him cheat on Callista.

Ryerson Free Press May 2012 11

CULTURE

The Best and Worst of Coachella 2012

By Max Mertens

When my friend asked if I wanted to attend the Coachella Music Festival this year, I didn’t have to think twice. One of the biggest music festivals in North America, Coachella took place over two weekends this year on the beautiful Empire Polo Grounds in Indio, California. Here are some of my highlights, disappointments and lessons learned from three days in the desert.

BEST PRE-SHOW MUSIC When the skies turned grey on late Friday afternoon, whoever was responsible for the PA system before Girls’ set cued up a weather-specific playlist that included The Doors’ “Riders On The Storm,” Albert Hammond’s “It Never Rains In Southern California,” and Nick Cave. It drizzled for a few minutes, but by the time the San Francisco band had finished their set, the sun was shining again.

BEST CELEBRITY APPEARANCE The weekend featured numerous appearances from none other than the Hoff himself, David Hasselhoff. No word on whether he was there to see a band or simply got lost driving KITT through the desert.

BEST NEW BAND Manchester, England’s WU LYF. Remember the name, because you’ll be hearing a lot more about these guys in the near future.

WORST SOPHOMORE SLUMP The Arctic Monkeys’ debut album, Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not, is a fantastic record. Released in 2006, it was an excellent collection of songs about small town boredom, getting kicked out of pubs and lusting after girls. Unfortunately for the U.K. quartet, they haven’t been able to match that level of success since. I didn’t see too many perfor-

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mances that I didn’t care for over the weekend, but the Monkeys’ set was one of them. The audience was certainly into the set, crowd-surfing and jumping up and down. If only the band had shown even half that amount of energy.

CLEAREST SIGN WE WERE IN CALIFORNIA Besides your standard music festival’s $7 beers, shitty pizza and watered-down mixed drinks, Coachella also offered plenty of options for health-conscious celebrities and regular people, including smoothies, organic wraps and honest-to-goodness salads. I usually have a rule of not eating overpriced food at festivals, but I found myself breaking that rule on several occasions throughout the weekend.

BEST AFTERNOON PARTY She might not have a full album out yet, but that didn’t stop 20-year-old New York City rapper Azealia Banks from starting a full-on dance party on Saturday afternoon, ending of course with her breakout hit “212” (which has a mere 13,411,646 views on YouTube). Is it possible to sweat out a hangover?

BEST DANCE MOVES ONSTAGE There’s only one person at Coachella that could really win this award and that’s Thom Yorke. Sporting a truly unfortunate ponytail (you’re the lead singer of one of the biggest rock bands in the world and you can’t afford a pair of scissors?), the Radiohead frontman shimmied and shook across the stage during the band’s Saturday night headlining set, proving that you’re only as young as you feel. On a related note, a quick Google Search for “Thom Yorke dancing” turns up about 1,060,000 results, including a number of fantastic Tumblr sites.

BEST USE OF TECHNOLOGY COSTING BETWEEN $100,000 AND $400,000 The Tupac hologram. Sure, it was incredibly tacky, but what else was it going to be?

PHOTO: MAX MERTENS

Reviews

BALLET La Fille mal gardée: a fun-filled chicken-and-pony show

T

he National Ballet had me at dancing chickens. La Fille mal gardée was utterly enchanting (and very, very funny).

Perhaps best described as the romantic comedy of ballet, Fille was an accessible, charming story that anyone could understand — and that everyone should see.

La Fille mal gardée has been roughly translated to mean “the badly guarded girl,” a theme which persists throughout the show. Widow Simone (Matjash Mrozewski) plans to have her daughter Lise (Jillian Vanstone) married off to Alain (Christopher Stalzer), the dopey son of a wealthy landowner, Thomas (Kevin D. Bowles).

Lise, however, has different ideas: she’s in love with the poor farmer, Colas (Naoya Ebe). Despite Simone’s best efforts to keep her daughter far from Colas, the two find ways to subvert her authority.

Fille was originally choreographed in 1789 by Jean Dauberval, and is one of the oldest ballets to still be danced. In 1960, Sir Frederick Ashton, the principal choreographer and director of England’s Royal Ballet, created his own version, but stayed true to the ballet’s French romantic roots.

The show was dedicated to the memory of Alexander Grant, the former artistic director who brought Fille to the National Ballet in 1976. Grant also created the character Alain, a role that was used largely as comic relief throughout the show.

The last time Fille was performed at the National Ballet was in 2002, and even this year it’s had a very limited run: Feb. 29 to March 4, with a couple of matinee performances.

The March 1 evening show boasted debut performances for Vanstone, Ebe and Stalzer. Vanstone and Ebe had wonderful chemistry as Lise and Colas, and navigated Ashton’s hazardously difficult choreography with apparent ease. The strength in Ebe’s movements was obvious and enviable, particularly when he had to perform jump-turns from a standing position.

Stalzer, however, stole the show with his impeccable comic timing and knack for physical comedy. (Watching him perform a short, clumsy dance for Lise could inspire laughter in even the most straight-faced guests.) He managed to make the role more than just a punchline, and turned Alain into someone you could root for (or, at the very least, find endearing).

As well as a wonderful cast, La Fille mal gardée included a real, live pony (I did a double take, and immediately started looking for signs that it was an elaborate costume), dancing chickens with giggle-inducing choreography, and a very beautiful use of ribbons.

The ribbons made their first appearance in Lise’s act one solo. Later, a single pink ribbon acted as a favour between her and Colas throughout the show, then a prop in their two pas-de-deux.

Ribbons were a recurring theme, especially near the end of act one, when the cast performed a traditional maypole dance with Lise and Colas at its center. A particularly lovely moment — probably the show’s best — had Lise in the middle of the maypole circle in arabesque, with eight ribbons in her hand. Her friends held the other ends and when they danced around her, she turned on pointe, entirely unsupported – a feat of strength and grace.

Other stand-out moments included Widow Simone’s clog dance, a rhythmically and comically perfect sequence, and — spoilers — the final moments of Act One, when a particularly strong gust of wind picked up the awkward Alain and sent him flying into the midst of a summer storm.

If the National Ballet brings Fille back next year, make time to see it. If not for anything else, do it for the dancing chickens. — ­ Kelsey Rolfe

FILM Bully

B

ully is one of those films people need to see. But while the documentary does a great job of telling the stories of those who are tormented, it falls short in detailing the perspectives of bullies as well.

Directed by Lee Hirsch, the film documents peer-to-peer bullying in schools across America and follows five young individuals in different situations.

Alex Libby, a sweet and caring 12-year-old from Iowa, is often beat up on the school bus and called names like “Fishface” because of puckered features due to being born prematurely. Coming from a large family, Alex’s father asks him why he can’t defend himself while his little sister complains about being bullied just because he’s her brother.

Kelby Johnson, a 16-year-old from Oklahoma, is isolated from her community because she is gay. Raised in a religious community that was taught homosexuality is a sin, her family has been isolated from friends and neighbours as a result of Kelby coming out.

Fourteen-year-old Ja’Meya Jackson of Mississippi, on the other hand, is an honour student and decorated athlete. She ends up in a juvenile detention center after aiming her mother’s gun at her tormentors.

And, lastly, there’s 17-year-old Tyler Long and 11-year-old Ty Smalley, both who took their own lives due to bullying. Recovering from their recent losses, their parents share their experiences while attempting to raise awareness about bullying in their communities.

The stories here are heartbreaking, devastating and even frustrating. There’s a lot of bullying displayed but watching how little is being done to help is exasperating.

As one assistant principal watches students at her school being bullied, she only shakes her head and tells them to be nice after making them do a reluctant handshake.

It’s almost as if she’s blind or too scared to take action. When Alex’s parents confront her about the bullies their son faces on the bus, she only offers, “Buses are notoriously bad places for a lot of kids. Tell me how to fix this. I don’t have any magic.”

She might as well be saying, “That’s not my problem. He needs to toughen up.”

At another school, a superintendent recognizes that bullying is problematic but says it isn’t an “overarching concern.”

Unfortunately, that’s about as far as Bully goes.

It would have been nice to see Hirsch take a more objective approach as we don’t get any expert opinions about bullying or an inside look into the bullies themselves. What prompts these children to harm others and what are their own struggles? How can we help stop it?

As detailed and personal Hirsch is in sharing the stories of those affected, this film remains completely one-sided.

Nonetheless, it’s surprising that Bully received an “R” rating by the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) when there’s hardly any profanity in the documentary. While it has since been deemed “unrated,” this film is quite tame to watch despite the schoolyard bullying.

Thankfully, it’s only rated PG in Ontario and other Canadian provinces. With a few F-bombs and offensive insults thrown in, it’s a film that should be seen by students in their middle school or high school years. But because Bully only goes as far as telling the victims’ side of the story, it really is up to the viewers to educate themselves about the issue of bullying.

While there’s potential for a positive ending, we can only hope that this film can provide a stepping stone in creating awareness about the devastating effects of bullying.

As Alex says about the future, “I don’t believe in luck, but I do believe in hope.” — Samantha Lui

Ryerson Free Press May 2012 13

MUSIC

TELEVISION Girls just wants to have fun

Jack White – Blunderbuss

G

W

hen you’ve been the frontman of one of the most successful garage rock bands of the 2000s, started two other critically respected and well-loved bands, and founded your own label, what else is there to do? If you’re The White Stripes’ Jack White, the answer is put out a solo album. While it isn’t surprising that the guitarist and singersongwriter has done just that. White has always done things his way and marched to the beat of a different drummer (Meg White joke not intended) what is surprising is that it took him this long to get around to it. Blunderbuss, which is named after the muzzle-loading gun of choice for Portuguese mariners and the British cavalry during the 17th and 18th century, is White’s first independent release on his label Third Man Records. While it isn’t hard to hear the lyrical and musical influence of his past bands on this record (the aforementioned Stripes, The Raconteurs, and The Dead Weather), Blunderbuss contains some of the singer-songwriter’s most personal songs yet. This is perhaps most evident on first single “Love Interruption,” an acoustic and electric guitar slow burner with gospel-influenced vocals, where White promises, “I won’t let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me.” This sentiment could be about any number of past relationships, but more likely than not, it’s about the singer-songwriter’s divorce from British model Karen Elson last year. On the rest of the album’s thirteen tracks, White allows himself to follow his own muses, and has a lot of fun in the process.

While the piano in “Take Me When You Go” and cheeky lyrics “Hip (Eponymous) Poor Boy” are more reminiscent of The Raconteurs’ interpretation of Americana, “Sixteen Saltines” sounds like a lost White Stripes B-side, with White proving why he deserved that spot on Rolling Stone’s list of the all-time 100 greatest guitarists. — ­ Max Mertens

Ty Segall & White Fence – Hair

W

hen does Ty Segall find time to sleep? It’s a question worth asking. The Bay Area singer, guitarist and drummer has already announced that we’ll see at least three releases from him in 2012. One look at his Wikipedia entry and you’ll see a discography, both as a solo artist and from playing in several bands, that would make many older artists jealous. He also tours North America constantly (if you haven’t seen him yet then you need to make that a priority). Given how prolific he is, you might think it comes at the cost of varying quality. That certainly isn’t the case with Hair, Segall’s collaborative album with San Francisco-based White Fence (aka Tim Presley). While the eight tracks draw on both artists’ influences, including blues, garage rock, psychedelic rock and punk, the album feels like a trip back to the ‘60s. In the hands of lesser artists, it would come across as blatant pastiche, but Presley and Segall make it their own. The highlight here is the winding, surprisingly melodic “I Am Not A Game,” which ends in a frenetic guitar solo and crashing drums. Don’t worry, though, Segall hasn’t forgotten about his punk background either―just listen to the guttural cries all over “Crybaby.” The only complaint about the album is that it’s less than thirty minutes long. Here’s hoping this is one Hair that gets a sequel. —MM

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irls is a half-hour comedy, airing on HBO Canada/The Movie Network at 10:30 p.m. on Sunday nights.

The show is executive produced by Lena Dunham, Judd Apatow and Jenni Konner, and the first season will run 10 episodes. The show is about a quartet of smart, young women who find themselves making very bad decisions. At the centre of the show is Hannah Horvath (Lena Dunham), a would-be author who has spent the past two years since graduation having all of her bills paid by her parents until she can get a job in her field.

Hannah may not be the world’s most sympathetic protagonist. Within minutes of meeting her, we are witness to an artless attempt on her part to scare her parents into continuing to support her financially. By the end of the hour, she’s fumbled an attempt to get hired for pay at her internship, ignored her boyfriend’s clear disdain for her as she clings to him emotionally, flaked out on friends, and taken opium tea. And don’t look to Girls to present any of these things sympathetically: Hannah is clearly not doing life right, whatever that means.

The thing is, she’s so used to things being easy that she doesn’t know how to make things happen on her own. As such, her flaws are compelling. Despite her entitled nature, Hannah’s self-esteem issues come into play again and again. It’s why she always finds herself on the losing end of the conversation: with her parents, her boss, her boyfriend. The only person she manages to win an argument with – in that she can completely ignore their point of view without consequences – is her best friend Marnie (Allison Williams), who seems to be the only voice of reason in her life at all.

Hannah’s surrounded by a group of other beautiful 20-something white girls, all of whom have their own issues: smart and capable Marnie is trapped in a relationship with a young man who adores her, but she doesn’t have the strength to dump him or even discuss the issue; manic Jessa (Jemima Kirke), who is prone to having all sorts of crazy adventures and doing what she wants, finds herself pregnant; and Shoshanna (Zosia Mamet), who we don’t see much of, beyond one scene where she tries far too hard to get Jessa to like her.

Jessa and Marnie seem to be the devil and angel on Hannah’s shoulders, with Jessa promoting the over-adventurous path, and Marnie offering the sensible one. The cast is strong, embodying their particular characters with nuances beyond the basic archetypes we’re given in the pilot. It’s easy, for example, to understand why Hannah gets caught up in Jessa’s adventures, even though the audience cringes at the disasters that could happen if she does.

Girls is funny, smart and seems to know exactly what it wants to be and how to go about being that.

That’s a mightily impressive place to start for a show, considering most get halfway into first seasons before figuring that out, or are cancelled long before they do. — ­­ Bob Lackie

MUSEUM Deborah Samuel’s Elegy: Buying bones and meditating on mortality

F

ine art photographer Deborah Samuel thought she was losing her mind. She had been working on a project for nearly two years and she couldn’t tell whether or not she had gotten off track. Her subjects were hard to find. Thinking back, she recounts moments of doubt, when she wondered, “What am I doing?

I’m ordering skeletons off the Internet.”

The result of Samuel’s work is a collection of intriguing and well-executed images of animal skeletons: at once enduring and tragically fragile. The global premiere of her exhibit, Elegy, at the Royal Ontario Museum, marks the first collaboration of the ROM’s Life in Crisis: Schad Gallery of Biodiversity and their Institute for Contemporary Culture. The exhibit, which showcases 33 of the 50 prints in the collection, is featured in the Scotiabank CONTACT Photography Festival and brings together science and art in a meditation on life and death.

The project had its genesis almost 10 kilometres underwater. As the British Petroleum oil rig, Deepwater Horizon, bled out into the Gulf of Mexico, emerging as the worst environmental disaster in the history of the United States, Samuel was suffering equally devastating personal losses. She began to focus on what she calls the “life/death divide,” and decided to channel these ideas by photographing birds suffering and dying as a result of the oil spill.

Due to restrictions imposed by the Coast Guard, Samuel could not access the shore, so she began to photograph the bones of birds and fish. Later, she widened her scope to include other vertebrates, including a frog, an anteater and a cobra. But skeletons were hard to come by. When the ROM contacted her to offer her access to its vast collection, Samuel accepted – happy to have access to skeletons that were intact, and not mounted in display cases: “Free-form, where you can actually do something with them,” she says.

Although inspired by disaster and housed in a museum, the birds defy conventional representation. They aren’t the iconic oil-covered ducks that stripped the Syncrude tailings ponds of their slightly bucolic resonance. Nor are they formalist, scientific representations of animal anatomy – archived frames that demonstrate functionality and form.

Her skeletons document interaction, oppositions, perhaps even attraction. Gesturing at an image of two birds, a solitaire nestled into a cardinal, she notes that many species of birds killed in the BP disaster mate for life. “What happens to them?” she asks, looking sadly at the unlikely couple. Another series of prints shows the skeletons at play, her ode to Mexico’s Day of the Dead. She says that she tried to imagine what their lives were like before the spill.

Exquisitely detailed, the dry spongy appearance of bone near an owl’s beak illustrates the lightness of the skeleton; the emerging pinfeathers on the print of an avian embryo are evocative little notes of texture on a tiny body with a too-big head. The colours of an almost abstract outline of an armadillo shell are luminescent, evocative of an oil painting. Meanwhile, a cobra winds powerfully across three frames to form a triptych tribute to the designs of nature.

Samuel captured the images by carefully positioning the skeletons on a flatbed scanner; placing the section she wanted to be in sharpest focus against the glass. Working with limited depth of field, the white bones emerge, breaking the surface of the deep black background. The bones stand in relief to what is behind them: they defy it.

The process of working with the skeletons helped her sort out her own thoughts on death and memory.

“When you have skeletons that hold their life in them, hold the animation of their life lived, when they still exude that and you can still capture that, then death is not finite,” she says.

Elegy runs at the ROM until July 2, 2012. — Erin Byrnes

Outgoing RFP Chief Finally Finds Door After 400 years as Editor-in-Chief of the Ryerson Free Press, Nora ‘can’t take a hint’ Loreto is finally leaving the paper, for a man. Loreto was probably best known for her point-form style journalism and monkey-themed pie charts. She did, however, cover several important topics during her tenure, including dogs and husbands.

In a rambling interview conducted mostly in crayons, Nora reminisced about her time at the paper mainly by referencing how great she thinks she is on guitar, while occasionally checking her blackberry for texts from boys.

“To think that someone like me, from Halton, would one day get to work on the third floor of a building is amazing,” she exclaimed in between sips of her Kool-Aid Jammer, a drink she was seldom seen without.

But Nora was much more than a distracted hippy child from the 905, insists one anonymous former employee and anti-war activist. “She was also known for her strong opinions on stuff nobody cared about.”

Compensating perhaps, other colleagues were somewhat more humble about her time at the paper. “She hated semi-colons for some reason,” stated one former friend. “I would always, quite correctly, separate independent clauses with a semi-colon when using a conjunctive adverb. And she would just say, ‘semi-colons are for girls.’ I never really understood what that meant.”

Loreto looks forward having more free time to take pictures of herself in her room.

ILLUSTRATION: KEITH YEOMANS