The Drink Issue 2011

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December 14-20, 2011 sacurrent.com

Top downtown drinking spots

Tequila taste-off

What bartenders wish you knew

Badass glassware

Home-brew heroes

SA distilleries

THE

100+

bar listings and more

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Noche Buena® was born in 1924 in Orizaba, Mexico, to capture the essence of the winter season. Over the years, it has become the most beloved and awaited premium beer with which to celebrate the holiday season in Mexico.

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Enjoy Noche Buena® Responsibly

©2011 NOCHE BUENA® Beer. Cervezas Mexicanas, New York, NY


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9809 Fredericksburg Rd #2 (Across from USAA) • 210.451.7857 THE DRINK ISSUE

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DRINK Thank God for the ever-quixotic ethanol.

Whether released through wheat, barley, grapes, agave, corn, or cassava-and-spit (one I have not yet tried), alcohol is truly the great equalizer: it makes the poor (feel) richer, the rich (feel) cooler, and the humdrum (feel) just a little bit more energetic. A well-crafted drink can be an elevator to higher modes of experience perhaps best captured by Ray Milland playing the hard-drinking writer Don Birnam (see “Best alcohol moments in cinema,” page 72) in The Lost Weekend, wherein he intones of the elixir: “I’m walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. I’m one of the great ones. I’m Michelangelo molding the beard of Moses.” Truly transporting stuff. Over the millenia we’ve devised lots of funky rituals to imbibe together, but there’s something in the nautical feel we seem to have settled on involving stout wood paneling conjoined by polished brass railings that lends an air of tightness to the experience that seems intended to keep us sailing high forever and a day. What that other shore may or may not hold (typically it’s another work day, the same spouse, an untangling from the Prophet’s curls) is less important than the moment itself. Which may be what keeps us experimenting with formula, each dash of bitters, each rim of salt is meant to send a bit more wind into the sails and smooth the way ahead. Moving into the holidays we at the Current became so smitten with the subject we decided to scrap our regular issue and surrender to all things inebriate. This means there is no “News” or “Screens” sections, per se, as everything has sort of blurred into one shiny gumbo — another of drink’s fringe benefits. So, enjoy our take on San Antonio’s best drinking establishments this week. And, by all means, let us know your thoughts at sacurrent.com. We’re ever-present on the decks (when we’re not succumbing to a rolling slumber below) and look forward to sharing a snort with you at any one of these finer watering holes within. And while it should be a no-brainer, some are slow to the point: All that high sailing going on in the cerebellum demands certain responsibilities. Know your limit and (please) surrender the keys when the night demands it. After all, we’re here for a long-term relationship, San Antonio. — Greg Harman

San Antonio Current / The Drink Issue / 11_50 / December 14-20, 2011

contents Last Call listings / 14 No-Refusal: On bloodsuckers and boozehounds / 16 Drinks san smokes: after SA’s smoke-free ordinance / 25 Songs to booze to / 30 Forget the Alamo: where we lose ourselves on tourist row / 36 Tony tequila / 40 Blown in San Antone: handmade glasses (with recipes) / 46 Sweet know-nothings: what your bartender wishes you knew / 52 Economics of micro-brewing / 54 Strokes of home-brew genius / 58 Glassware: drink in style / 61 Whiskey River: Texas distilleries / 64 1011’s Brewery Tours, Survivor’s song / 68 Best booze moments in cinema / 72

Cover photo by Josh Huskin Stephany Gordon makes a Samoa cocktail at SoHo Wine and Martini Bar.

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ONLINE THIS WEEK AT SACURRENT.COM With the print issue gone to the bottle in such a big way, where to find our review of Chicks with Guns and all the screens, politics, and music news you rely on? Why, online. Only at sacurrent.com.


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Publisher: Michael Wagner Editor: Greg Harman EDITORIAL Art Director: Chuck Kerr Music & Film Editor: Enrique Lopetegui Calendar Editor: Bryan Rindfuss Copy Editor: Veronica Salinas Web Editor: Jaime Monzon Staff Writer: Michael Barajas Arts Writer: Scott Andrews Contributing Photographers: Rick Cortez, Steven Gilmore, Erik Gustafson, Josh Huskin Contributing Writers: Debby Andersen, Ron Bechtol, James Bosquez, Tony Cantú, Laura Carter, Elizabeth Chavez, Natalia Ciolko, Adam Coronado, Robert Crowe, DeAnne Cuellar, Christine Garza, Rudy Gayby, Lance Hendrickson, Justin Isenhart, Thomas Jenkins, Mark Jones, Steven G. Kellman, Ashley Lindstrom, Lauren W. Madrid, Kiko Martinez, Travis Poling, Desiree Prieto, Liz Schau, Manuel Solis, Brian Villalobos, Jay Whitecotton Editorial Interns: Ashley Feinberg, Andi Garza, Veronica Luna, Collette Orquiz, Annelie Rios, Yvonne Zamora ADVERTISING Advertising Director: Lara Fischer (x105) Account Manager: Chelsea Bourque (x123) Account Executives: Carlos Aguirre (x117), Danielle Kaven (x118)

TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA

CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING Classified Ad Director: Jennifer Sanders (x116) Classified Account Executive: Johnny Deosdade (x114), Marian Galvan (x111)

THIS THURSDAY, DECEMBER 22

PRODUCTION Production Manager: Julian Cordero Production Designers: Jay Reyna, April Fairchild, Josh Trudell Production Interns: Jessica Druszkowski, Dora Nieto, Annelie Rios

4pm and 8pm

CIRCULATION Circulation Director: Mark VanHudson (x121) Distribution: Juanita Alpizar, Oscar Alpizar, Sergio Alpizar, Pam Clepper, Janice Farnell, Jeff Miller, Carolina Ramos, Charles Tiller BUSINESS Business Manager: Elizabeth Hubbard Office Assistant: Katelynn Mueller National Advertising: Voice Media Group 1-888-278-9866, voicemediagroup.com

HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS

Times-Shamrock Group Publisher: Don Farley

JANUARY 26, 2012

Copyright 2011, San Antonio Current Co. all rights reserved. San Antonio Current Co. is a wholly owned subsidiary of TimesShamrock Communications. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission of the publisher is prohibited. Publisher does not assume liability for unsolicited manuscripts or materials, which must be accompanied by a stamped, self-addressed envelope to be returned. All editorial, advertising, and business correspondence should be sent to the address listed below. Printed in the U.S.A. Distribution: The San Antonio Current is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Prior written permission must be granted by the San Antonio Current for additional copies. The San Antonio Current may be distributed only by its authorized distributors and independent contractors. Additional copies or back issues may be purchased at the Current offices for $1. Six-month domestic subscriptions may be purchased for $50; one-year subscriptions for $100.

RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS MARCH 6, 2012

RAMMSTEIN MAY 24, 2012

San Antonio Current 915 Dallas St. San Antonio, Texas 78215

CIRQUE DU SOLEIL PRESENTS MICHAEL JACKSON

Editorial: (210) 227-0044 / Fax: (210) 227-6611 Display Advertising: (210) 227-0044 / Fax: (210) 227-7733 Classified: (210) 227-CLAS / Fax: (210) 227-7755

JUNE 23, 2012

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Get listed: Send us your complete info two weeks before publication. For complete submission guidelines, visit www. sacurrent.com. E-mail: sacalendar@sacurrent.com; Mail: Calendar Editor, same address as above; Fax: (210) 2276611. Listing submissions aren’t accepted by phone.

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This newspaper is made with recycled materials and is 100% recyclable.


1 1 0 2 e Th

S A M T S I CHR GEAN T PA

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GABRIEL’S

LIQUOR & W INE Super Store

SALE: THURS DEC. 15 - SAT. DEC. 17 $8.99 Abita Christmas Ale 6pk, 12oz lnnr

$12.99 Noche Buena 12pk, 12oz lnnr

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$15.67 Duvel Belgian Ale 4pk, 11.2oz lnnr with glass

No donation necessary to enter to win. Must be 18 or older to win. Registration ends December 18th, 2011. Goodwill and Generations Federal Credit Union employees and volunteers are not eligible to win.

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$9.99 Anchor Christmas 6pk, 12oz lnnr

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This holiday, you could win a $1000 Visa­gift card for a shopping spree. Donate at any Goodwill Store or Donation Station and register online.

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Join this December to help foster independence among seniors. A portion of The Current’s December advertising revenue will be dontated to Christian Senior Services. To advertise call 210-227-0044 or e-mail lfisher@sacurrent.com (Retail) or jsanders@sacurrent.com (Classified)

The mission of the Christian Senior Services is to promote the dignity and independence of seniors who are in need of nutritious meals, companionship, and Alzheimer’s care. Your donation will not only provide respite to a caregiver, but will help a senior remain independent in their home.

To donate or volunteer, please call (210) 735 - 5115 or visit us online at www.christianseniorservices.org


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Alibis: Josh Huskin / Aquifer: Erik Gustafson

DRINK

BAR LISTINGS 1909

Once they get past the florescent lighting, visitors to this somewhat hidden downtown hotel bar find a convivial happy-hour crowd (5-7 p.m. daily with $3 drafts and $5 margaritas) and adventurous handcrafted cocktails. Located in the storied Gibbs Building, 1909 has the odd distinction of sitting on the grounds of the original Alamo compound. Hotel Indigo at the Alamo, 105 N Alamo, (210) 933-2000, 1909barandbistro.com.

2015 CLUB

This homey neighborhood bar is LGBT-friendly (and friendly in general), and a great place to unwind after a long workweek before getting your groove on. 2015 San Pedro Ave, (210) 733-3365.

Above: Alibis Left: Aquifer

Astro Lounge

502 Bar

Live music venue with possibly the best acoustics in town and an impressive beer menu and nightly drink specials. Best use: Anytime live music is onstage; typically no cover during the week, while weekend covers stay under $10. 502 Embassy Oaks, Ste 138, (210) 257-8125, 502bar.com.

Alibis

Alibis is the downtown happy-hour haunt for locals and the official meetup spot for Sunset Station concertgoers. Don’t be surprised if you hear house music emanating from this old house: DJ Josh Stone’s laid-back, dance-optional “Deluxe Fridays” are one of our favorite ways to start the weekend. 1141 E Commerce, (210) 225-5552.

Aquifer

A new-ish addition to the Stone Oak see-and-be-seen scene, Aquifer adds exclusive VIP bottle service to an already upscale area. While “Press Play Tuesdays” serve up house, hiphop, and $2 wells to service industry types, DJ Exceed gets the weekend moving on “Fired Up Fridays.” 19178 Blanco Rd, Ste 201, (210) 624-1788, theaquiferbar.com.

Area 31

Imagine a Cee-Lo song with more humidity and you have Area 31. So dress up, dance hard, and arrive before things start picking up at 11 p.m. Thursday-Saturday; otherwise you’ll have to park in the dirt and bribe the doorman. 4553 W Loop 1604, Ste 1229, (210) 867-2732, areathirtyone.com.

Thank God no one has buffed the hard-earned nicotine patina off this untapped watering hole where bowling Army doctors have been spotted mingling with karaoke starlets. Our spies turned into sloppy bowlers at adjacent (and understatedly retro) Astro Bowl after a few rounds of Pacificos in the lounge. 3203 Harry Wurzbach, (210) 824-6348, astrosuperbowl.com.

Bar 601

The view from the observation deck of the 750-foot-tall Tower of the Americas is inspiring, and ought to be on the agenda if you’re wooing anyone. The altitude is reflected in drink prices, and the elevator queue may initially dampen the mood, but the sleek interior of the lounge bodes 20

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HOLIDAY DANCE — VFW POST 8541 — 2222 AUSTIN HWY., SAN ANTONIO, TX 78218

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East County Military Families & Friends (ECMFF) - supporting our combat veterans as they come to end of service and return to adjust back to civilian life for work, school, or to start a business! Promotions By Gigi – for more info contact: 210.772.0958 • Degigi9519@gmail.com

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DRINK OF BLOODSUCKERS AND BOOZEHOUNDS Chuck Kerr

Will Bexar County’s no-refusal blood draws dismantle the effectiveness of traditional DWI defense? BY MICHAEL BARAJAS

D

istrict Attorney Susan Reed has been on a steady crusade for over two years to push Bexar County into full-time no-refusal territory, setting up a legal framework to draw blood from any suspected drunk drivers who refuse a breath test any day of the week. And by late October, just before Halloween weekend, she got her wish when, according to her office, San Antonio became the state’s largest metro area to implement a round-the-clock no-refusal policy. It was made possible by a $1.4 million one-year Texas Department of Transportation grant paying for overtime sheriff’s deputies, city cops on DWI patrol, and nurses ready to draw blood from DWI suspects should a judge approve it. Like many DWI lawyers across the country, local attorney Phil Stauffer cries foul over the policy, calling no-refusal “barbaric” and an affront to civil rights. “I think Susan Reed has way overstepped her bounds. She’s now attempting to do the job of the Legislature and not the district attorney,” he charges. The county first rolled out socalled no-refusal weekends in May 2008, at first only during major holi-

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day weekends known to see an influx in sauced drivers, then pushing for no-refusal every weekend (like clockwork, from 5 p.m. Fridays to 6 a.m. Mondays) by the start of 2011. And since the start of Reed’s no-refusal experiment, Bexar County has seen intoxication manslaughter cases cut in half, along with a sizable decrease in DWI arrests, according to Assistant District Attorney Chip Rich with the DA’s DWI Task Force. “I handle all the intoxication manslaughter cases in the county, and we just see the death, we see the serious bodily injury cases continually coming in,” he said. “If we’re reducing those types of results, having less and less of those victims, than it’s worth it.” No-refusal went full-time, seven days a week on October 24. Today, if drivers refuse to blow into a breathalyzer in Bexar County, cops cart the suspect off to the Bexar County magistrate’s office where they are forced to give up blood if an on-call judge approves a search warrant. Rich says the DA’s office keeps someone staffed at the magistrate’s office around the clock to process and push for blood warrants. That blood’s then tested by the county medical examiner’s office 18

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DRINK 16

and entered into evidence against a driver if charges are filed. The impetus is two fold: DWI cases can languish in county courts for years, Rich insists, clogging the system while defense attorneys take advantage of the failing memories of arresting officers called to testify on arrests. And no refusal, he says, scores more convictions and quickly, all the while scaring drunks out from behind the driver’s seat. Stauffer says he still advises drivers to “refuse everything, even in light of this no-refusal garbage, because something can always go wrong with a warrant.” And defense attorney Jamie Balagia, who dubs himself the “DWI Dude,” took out a fullpage Express-News ad this spring along with another local DWI lawyer slamming no-refusal policies. Egregious DWI cases, he notes, already call for a mandatory blood test, like if a suspect’s found driv-

refuse to take a breath test, says the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. By 2010, the NHTSA started posting no-refusal “tool-kits” on its website, even providing sample blood-draw warrants in hopes of exporting no-refusal policies around the country. And the Administration points to the “Texas Example,” noting that statewide refusal was at about 50 percent before several Texas jurisdictions started conducting no refusal weekends in 2005. For instance, in 2010 in Montgomery County, they say, test refusal rates dropped from a peak of 50 percent to 10 percent in 2010. Statewide, the Texas District and County Attorneys Association insists that the increase in blood search warrants has led to fewer jury trials in DWI cases, more guilty pleas, and plenty more convictions. In a legislative update to members in 2009, TDCAA executive director Rob

“REFUSE EVERYTHING, EVEN IN LIGHT OF THIS NO-REFUSAL GARBAGE, BECAUSE SOMETHING CAN ALWAYS GO WRONG WITH A WARRANT.” ing with a child in the car or in cases of intoxication manslaughter. “One of my biggest complaints is the fact that these magistrates, what kind of review are they getting? How many warrants have they refused to sign? We’re never given that information,” Balagia said. County and police officials have yet to release records for how many blood warrants have been granted versus those requested by police since full-time no-refusal went into effect — the only true way to determine if judges are “rubber stamping” no-refusal blood warrants, as Balagia and Stauffer charge. When the DA’s office announced the new 24/7 no-refusal policy this fall, it said blood samples were secured in nearly 2,000 DWI cases so far this year, over half of which were taken under no-refusal blood warrants. And the no-refusal warrants the DA’s office pushes for typically fly, Rich says. “I’d say that for the most part it will be the majority [of warrants],” he said. “We have a very good success rate in securing those warrants.” Nationally, about one in four of drivers pulled over for suspected DWI cases

Kepple wrote, “If it bleeds, it pleads.” It may be to early to predict how these no-refusal blood-draw cases fare once, and maybe even if, they start heading to trial en masse. Balagia has yet to go to trial on a no-refusal case, but currently has about two dozen cases on deck, with more coming in daily, he said. Since the rollout of the new policy, Stauffer says his office sees some 15 to 20 no-refusal cases walk through his door monthly. “It’s all we see now, and I’m certain we’re gonna start seeing a lot more of them,” he said, predicting it will be at least a year before any of those cases start to hit trial. But in March, the DA’s office lauded its first no-refusal blood-warrant trial, perhaps offering an indicator for how these cases could play out down the road. A jury returned a guilty verdict in less than 30 minutes, Reed’s office said, when test results from a search-warrant blood draw showed the defendant had a .22 blood alcohol content, nearly three times the legal limit of .08. D mbarajas@sacurrent.com


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DRINK

blow dry bar

DeColores Salon

14

well and Chart House on the lower level still revolves slowly over the San Antonio skyline. Tower of the Americas, 601 HemisFair Park, (210) 223-3101, toweroftheamericas.com.

NOW OPEN! Specializing in Goldwell Color

Bar America

The word “Bedlam” is posted above the doorway, and while chaos hasn’t broken out in Bar America for a while, its smoky barfly beauty is punctuated every blue moon by a diminutive brawl. This unpretentious landmark’s charms include cheap, cold cerveza (you can even grab a six-pack to go), and the Best Jukebox in SA (according to readers like you) pumping out a steady stream of Saytown’s truest stories. 723 S Alamo, myspace.com/bar_america.

Master Colorists: Ron Guerra and Michelle Stringham “A Color and Blow Dry Bar Salon”

No Appointment Necessary! Please call 210-320-0494 332 W. Sunset Ste. 2A

Beethoven Maennerchor Halle und Garten

The Southtown spot of choice for live music on First Fridays, the Beethoven is a charming window into SA’s German beerguzzling past. The Club Room is open to the public, even on Tuesday member night, when happy-hour prices are in effect and the choirs practice. In quintessential German-American-social-club style, the place feels like Milwaukee, circa 1950. An array of German beers and wines are served by the barkeep along with domestic and non-German imports. 422 Pereida, (210) 222-1521, beethovenmaennerchor.com.

Bond’s 007

In 2002, the scientific journal Pure and Applied Chemistry posited “the term ‘heavy metals’ is both meaningless and misleading,” but don’t go citing that article in Bond’s, where it’s still a touchy subject. This “rock bar” practically bleeds bismuth (atomic number: a whopping 83) from its jukebox to the bands that test its load-bearing beams on the upstairs stage, but it’s also a destination for the Texas psychobilly scene. The one guarantee is it’s gonna be loud. A great place to duck conversation when your blind date arrives with a railroad spike through his/her septum. 450 Soledad, (210) 225-0007.

Boneshakers

This new Southside beer-and-art bar is inspired in part by the new Mission Reach hike-and-bike trail — the best way to access it for organized rides, crafty brews, and eclectic live music parties with an intriguing balance of locals and out-of-towners. Flats fixed on site (sometimes as late as 2 a.m.), live jazz on Mondays, and $2 pint night Tuesdays with DJ Plata are but a few reasons to pay Boneshakers a visit. 116 W Mitchell, (210) 209-8666, boneshakersonline.com.

The Bonham Exchange

A Warm & Fuzzy Feeling All Over!

Similar to the actual Bermuda Triangle, people seem to mysteriously disappear inside San Antonio’s premiere lesbian bar. But according to its disclaimer, BT’s “is not responsible for stolen lovers.” A few things to consider (regardless of orientation): On weekend nights (and especially during BT’s legendary foam parties) women move through the line more quickly than men, and owner Jill Gapinski can spot a “guy-creep” from a mile away. 10127 Coachlight, (210) 342-2276, bermudatrianglesa.com.

Betty’s Battalion

James Jonesian weekend-pass getaway for the reveille set meets comfy grandpa bar in sweet, wood-paneled decay. Spend a night tossing horseshoes in Betty’s starry backyard while sipping cool, cheap drinks. 1524 E Grayson, (210) 227-9255, bettysbn.com.

Bombay Bicycle Club

Whole Earth Provision Co.

Quarry Market at 255 East Basse • 210-829-8888 WholeEarthProvision.com

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Tried and true, this bar and restaurant is favored by university students and an eclectic array of regulars. Here it’s happy hour every day (11 a.m.-7 p.m. with $2 drafts and $3 wells), but Tuesdays pack in a loyal crew for $2.75 margaritas and games of pool. 3506 N St. Mary’s, (210) 737-2411, bombaybicycleclubsa.com.

The Bonham Exchange

In the ’80s, the storied BX played host to legendary divas like Bette Midler and Tina Turner as well as punks and new-wavers like the B-52s, the Ramones, and Debbie Harry. These days, former Current covergirl Alayna Marquez emcees Talented Thursdays (with $100 for the best performer) while Fridays heat up with three DJs on three dance floors, $1 wells all night, and competitive ass shaking at midnight. A perpetual Best of SA winner, the Bonham cleaned up in 2010: Best Nightclub, Best Gay Bar, and Best Dance Floor. 411 Bonham, (210) 271-3811, bonhamexchange.net.

Broadway 5050

Relaxation comes easily in the 5050’s vintage atmosphere, created by old records lining the walls and images of the black-suit-and-skinny-tie-wearing deuces of Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs. The bar keeps 22

Erik Gustafson

Bermuda Triangle


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Nutcrackers Now playing through december 23 Discover the place where books come to life on stage! Experience San Antonio’s Professional Family Theatre. Give the gift that lasts all season long! Magik Theatre Season Passes make great gifts for friends and family. Call 210-227-2751 to purchase yours today. Don’t miss - DIARY OF A WORM, A SPIDER, AND A FLY beginning January 6th, 2012. Located in Historic HemisFair Park | 420 South Alamo | magiktheatre.org Supported by:

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City Center Living? CA L L D E B R A M A LT Z SAN ANTONIO’S DOWNTOWN SPECIALIST URBAN DWELLINGS -LEASING/SALES DEBRA@CENTROPROPERTIES.NET

210.224.2213

centroproperties.net & kupersothebysrealty.com

a healthy selection of 14 brews (including a pear cider) on tap and does happy hour right ― every day from 3-7 p.m. As the week progresses, 50’s goes from live trivia on Mondays and budget-friendly Pint Tuesdays to live local music on Fridays and Saturdays with no cover. 5050 Broadway, (210) 826-0069, broadway5050.com.

The Bubble Room

Catering to the 30-and-up crowd, this effervescent lady-centric lounge boasts a wide selection of champagne by the glass, off-the-beaten-path wines, sake cocktails, and even beer for non-believers (hey, it’s got bubbles, too). It’s perfect for private parties, guilty, girly pleasures, and unwinding with the gals after a long day at the office. 1846 N Loop 1604 W, (210) 479-9463, thebubbleroomsa.com.

Carmens de la Calle Café

Carmens has the romantic, casual feel of a well-worn European haunt, emphasis awarded to Spain. It’s a great Friday-night date destination, so indulge your craving for homemade sangria while taking in hot jazz and flamenco dance shows. 720 E Mistletoe, (210) 737-8272, carmensdelacalle.com.

Cielito Lounge

You might feel like you accidentally stepped into a posh Mexico City disco when you walk through the door of Cielito Lounge. The young privileged set can be spotted here, watching soccer, dancing the night away, and gossiping over mojitos in the VIP area. Although you won’t see the lounge in full swing on a Sunday morning, $2 mimosas (10 a.m.-2 p.m.) from the adjoining upscale Mexican restaurant Cielito Lindo can be worth the flight to Stone Oak. 19141 Stone Oak Pkwy, (210) 545-7960.

Chango’s Havana Club

Chango’s may be a stretch from your normal nightlife circuit, but strong drinks and fine cigars make venturing just outside of town decidedly worth it. The lounge is dimly lit and cozy — oval glass fixtures emanate a reddish-orange glow and Baja ceiling fans evoke the tropics. Thursday

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and Friday attract a mixed crowd for blues and jazz, but there’s some form of live music every night they’re open (TuesdaySaturday), plus happy hour (4-8 p.m.) Tuesday-Friday. 23535 I-10 West, (210) 698-8922, changosclub.com.

Club Essence

With recession-era drink prices, it’s easy to get a budget buzz on at Essence, where dancing beefcake can be found swinging from the rafters in neon-colored weenie bikinis. This well-endowed version of Cheers boasts highly entertaining amateur strip-offs, happily mixed college nights, and one of SA’s most shameless karaoke patios. 1010 N Main, (210) 2235418, essencesa.com.

Club Rio

Parties like “Too Mucking Fuch Saturdays” and top-notch live talent from the hottest part of the Western Hemisphere make this slick Latin disco sizzle on weekends. If you’re not VIP or in for bottle service, you’ll stand while waiting for the show to start, but acts like Julieta Venegas, Zoé, Plastilina Mosh ― not to mention the likes of world-class DJs ATB and Benny Benassi ― are generally worth the wait. No plunge into SA’s version of Latin fabulosity would be complete without a cocktail at next-door Maroc ― a somewhat hidden slice of South Beach (with a stylish swimming pool to boot) that happens to share a parking lot with a bowling alley. 13307 San Pedro, (210) 403-2582, club-rio.net.

Club Sirius

Packed and narrow Sirius feels like a block party where the game is always on and someone’s always yelling over the music. If you don’t feel like attempting to conquer the shot board challenge, consider the simultaneously spicy, sweet, and sour chamoy-infused margarita. 228 Losoya, (210) 643-6650.

Club Venom

Cheap inebriation is the name of the game at Venom, where DJs rock the compact club with everything from alternative ’80s (Wednesdays) and industrial 29


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24  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

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DRINK

Michael Barajas

DRINKS SANS SMOKES W

hen the city rolled out its sweeping smoking ban this summer, eager to make the Americans for Nonsmokers’ Rights list of smoke-free cities, the winners and losers were obvious. The winners: bars that already had sizable patios, cigar bars, and, many would argue, anyone with a set of lungs looking to imbibe clear of a carcinogenic cloud. Unaffected Alamo Heights’ bar and restaurant district sits ready to catch cigarette-puffing refugees aching for a drag while they sip their cocktails. And despite inclusion in early drafts of the ordinance, VFW posts, the River Walk, and the Shrine of Texas Liberty itself all escaped the ban. But if you’re an every-

day pub, sports bar, or dive without a patio or enough space to build one: tough luck. Judy Simpson, general manager at Finnegan’s on US 281 near Thousand Oaks, wagered her neighborhood pub has taken a 25-30 percent hit in sales. The future’s “looking a little better but not much,” Simpson said, as she and the landlord hash out plans for a patio. Initially, Simpson considered building a properly cordoned smoking area with fencing, chairs, tables, and ashtrays on her front sidewalk. But complications arose from the presence of an ADA accessible ramp and the need for full visibility. Currently, the bar is separated from the

Winners, losers, and unanswered questions in smoke-free SA

Bar America: a Southtown icon, now smoke-free

BY ADAM VILLELA CORONADO AND MICHAEL BARAJAS

front sidewalk by a vestibule with two sets of double doors. The lack of visibility invites patrons to walk off with drinks or, worse, pass them to minors. “What we’re trying to do is build a place you can smoke where you can take your drink and don’t feel like you’ve been ostracized from the rest of the bar,” she said. Simpson expects building to begin in December and complete sometime in January. She’s not worried about closing or laying anyone off. For now. In puff-friendly Alamo Heights, the Broadway 5050 is catching the overflow, says General Manager and managing partner Danny Barborak. “People who have a cocktail often want a cigarette. … I’d say we’ve got some

people stopping in here for a drink or two because it’s now a treat to smoke inside,” he said, estimating sales have risen a few percentage points since the San Antonio ban began. Meanwhile, for Alibis on Commerce east of US 281 and two of the Blue Star bars, business has marched forward with nary a hiccup since each had patios before the smokeban rollout. Scott Saulle, who slings spirits at both Joe Blue’s on South Alamo and Joey’s on North St. Mary’s, said the ban hasn’t so much reduced the crowds, just shuffled them around a bit. Patrons now tend to crowd Joeys’ cozy, two-floor patio (which features an outside bar on weekends) in-

stead of the smokeless indoors. “On a Wednesday night, I might have three people sitting at the bar and 25 people sitting outside,” he said. “It’s really weird.” Joe Blue’s and Alibis both sport wraparound patios. Business at the former is unchanged, Saulle said. And according to Joey’s head waitress Lisa Gonzales, diehard indoor smokers have simply been swapped by customers who would likely jet after one drink on account of smoke. Save for the crowd redistribution and the occasional intense debate on the ban, patron traffic is virtually unchanged. Alibis General Manager Tracey Thurman said the same, though her 26

THE DRINK ISSUE

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DRINK 25

clientele, who like a smoke while dancing or punching her touch-screen games, are mildly inconvenienced to step out. “We have a strong regular crowd,” she said. “Everything from bankers to bikers.” Ron Herrera, co-owner of SoHo Martini & Wine Bar, says he’s lost a few dedicated cigar smokers, but on the whole the clientele has adjusted. They simply step outside to his tiny patio and light up. “Are we okay? Yeah,” he said. “I just don’t like being told how to run my own business.” But the question remains: as a cigar bar, should Herrera’s patrons even have to step outside for a drag? Herrera assumed SoHo was ban-exempt, falling under the umbrella term “retail tobacco store” in the city’s ordinance. On the Friday after the ban went into effect, Herrera said he got a call from the Mayor’s office, telling him he couldn’t keep his cigar-bar

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“ARE WE OK? YEAH. I JUST DON’T LIKE BEING TOLD HOW TO RUN MY OWN BUSINESS.” status if he continued to sell food, which apparently includes typical drink garnish like lemons, limes, and olives in cocktails (SoHo doesn’t carry the snacks found at some more traditional bars, like wings, fries, and pizza). Though Herrera found the logic a little baffling, he complied, saying the mayor’s rep threatened to sic a public health official on the bar if he didn’t. A city health employee still visited the following Monday to double down, he said. Metro Health records show nobody’s filed a complaint against SoHo since the smoking ban went into effect, but here’s where the new ordinance gets slippery. The new piece of city code uses the term “bar” to describe a place a lot like SoHo, which is an “establishment that is devoted to the serving of alcoholic beverages for consumption by guests.” But SoHo also sells cigars to patrons (though it’s unclear how many of late), and the new ordinance doesn’t say whether tobacco products must make up a certain percent of sales in order to become an exempt “tobacco retail establishment” or “cigar bar” — only that the place is “utilized primarily for the sale of tobacco products.” And Herrera’s brush

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THE DRINK ISSUE

with city officials seems especially peculiar considering patrons at neighboring Swig Martini Bar above the River Walk continue to smoke away — indoors. Over the phone, Swig General Manager Michael Teran was uneasy discussing the matter, saying, “I don’t want to put a target on our backs.” A list Metro Health provided to the Current show citizens have called in some 30 times since the ban complaining that a number of stores, private clubs, and bars are out of line with the new policy, Swig being one of them. Just three days after the ban went into effect, a customer called Metro Health complaining patrons were puffing away inside the bar. A Metro Health worker who followed up “observed employees smoking upon entry to establishment. Owner was using the old municode (which has not been updated) as

a basis to smoke,” the complaint states. Metro Health gave Swig a warning not to smoke inside the bar, advising they put up some non-smoking signage. According to Metro Health spokeswoman Carol Schliesinger, the city has yet to fine any establishment for breaking the ban. Under the ordinance, a first-time violation carries a fine of up to $200. Repeat offenders could get smacked with fines of $500 to $2,000. Schliesinger says the only guide Metro Health has for the tobacco shop and cigar bar-exemptions is the short, one-sentence blurb in the city code, which appears to leave much up to interpretation. “What’s written in the ordinance, that’s basically the only definition that we have [for cigar bars], at least at this point,” she said. “The code doesn’t say anything about how much [tobacco] we have to sell,” Teran said. He then recited a piece of the new policy: “Under those exempt, it says, ‘Shall include but not be limited to cigar bars and humidors.’ We fit that.” We’ll see what the Mayor’s office thinks. D coronado.adam@gmail.com mbarajas@sacurrent.com


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DRINK

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Copa Wine Bar 22

rave (Thursdays) to contemporary dance and hip-hop (Fridays and Saturdays). If you don’t want to gamble on a trusty $3 Terminator (a powerful blend of Everclear, Jäger, and other poisons) opt for a dose of Venom: the shot of Everclear, Blue Curaçao, Sprite, and sour mix only costs a buck and guarantees a quick trip to the dark side. 2407 N St. Mary’s, (210) 738-8180, myspace.com/clubvenomsa.

Coco Beach

With drink specials every night, football crowds, “Schoolgirl Thursdays” (with DJ Richard), and Friday potlucks, Coco Beach has everything you could want in a neighborhood bar. The seaside ephemera and beach-bum soundtrack might even help you forget about the cruel world outside. 12159 Valliant, (210) 341-5330, cocobeach.clarksbars.com.

COCO Chocolate Lounge and Bistro

SA’s Best Lounge and Best Salsa Club according to readers in our 2011 Best of San Antonio poll, COCO is intense, sexy, and luxurious. While chocolate’s not in every item on the menu, it factors richly into “The Addiction” (a decadent concoction of semifreddo white chocolate mousse, creamy dark chocolate crèmeux, crispy dark chocolate pearls, Oreo crumbles, and a white chocolate ring) and “The Sexual” (a velvety cocktail made with SXUL Chocolate Vodka, chipotle, and chocolate). 18402 US 281 N, Ste 114, (210) 491-4480, sa-coco.com.

Copa Wine Bar

Wine cellar meets unpretentious rec room with gourmet snacks and cleverly named flights at Copa (“If they want to drink Merlot, we’re *@#$^% drinking Merlot!” and “Holy Merde, These French Red Blends Are Good!” are but two options),

12710 IH-10 WEST STE. 127

the Best Wine Bar in SA, according to voters in our 2010 poll. Half-priced pizzetes (including globally inspired options like El Gyro and Tikka Masala) and 25 percent off beer and wine (excluding flights) make Copa’s happy hour (3-7 p.m. Monday-Friday) one of our personal favorites. 19141 Stone Oak, (210) 495-2672, thecopawinebar.com.

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The Cove

Laundromat, nightclub, restaurant, car wash, and perennial Best of SA favorite, The Cove features everything from raucous rock to blazing bluegrass and barroom tearjerkers. Where else can you listen to music, drink a beer, eat super-fresh fare, and wash your clothes at the same time? Among The Cove’s monthly offerings are wine and beer tastings (the third and fourth Thursday of the month, respectively), which often mirror the restaurant’s concept of “SOL food” ― sustainable, organic, and local. 606 W Cypress, (210) 227-2683, thecove.us.

Cowabunga

Formerly Logan’s Rock Bar, Cowabunga offers more than its unassuming façade suggests ― namely a pleasantly mixed jukebox and wallet-friendly drink specials ($3 Jäger and imports on Fridays, $2 kamikazes on Saturdays, and $2 wells on Sundays, to name a few). 402 E Travis St, (210) 226-1338.

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Remote Control Floating Fish

This neighborhood bar appeals to a younger crowd but pulls in regulars of all ages for primal karaoke early in the workweek. 9930 San Pedro, (210) 525-8158.

Dixie’s Bar & Patio

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Quarry Market at 255 East Basse 210-829-8888 sacurrent.com | December 14-20, 2011 | CURRENT  29


DRINK

29

ROAD TO PERDITION

prohibits live entertainment, but the roadhouse rock bar has grown in the process. At more than double the size with floor-to-ceiling beer and liquor signs, rusted iron accents, and an L-shaped epoxy bartop adorned with beer labels, who needs a band? 502 Embassy Oaks, (210) 930-5552, dixiesbarsa.com.

Two Current critics choose their favorite drinking songs BY Chris parker and j.d. swerzenski

Billie Holiday’s “One For My Baby, (AND One More For the Road)” There’s a whole cannon of Holiday’s material we could choose from, but it’s her rendition of the standard “One More For My Baby (And One More For the Road)” that’s top shelf, an aching last-call confession to her bartender on a love affair gone awry. Go ahead, line up the nightcap (preferably something strong) and let Lady Day set the soundtrack to your true lush life. — JDS

(“cold as hell”), our (anti-)hero dodges a cop, hits on a big-butted girl (“look at her face and the girl was to the curb”), flips off a caddy (“almost wrecked the ‘6-4”), and pulls steel on a “sucka punk.” Later, he’s hammered at a party, throws up (“see Easy hurlin’ in the parking lot?”), three girls tell him “your breath smells,” steps on another girl’s toe asking her to dance, causing a confrontation in which he knocks out a guest. He’s Larry David with a jheri curl and a gat. — CP

Snoop Dogg’s “Gin & Juice” We all know Snoop’s down with the chronic, but cottonmouth needs a cure. The tonic’s not required (he’s got juice), as Compton’s preeminent pothead takes the ’50s businessman’s lunch for a picnic where there’s plenty of green. “Rolling down the street smoking indo, sipping on gin and juice,” he sings, and mentally we supply the equal sign as he pauses a beat before exhaling: “Laidback.” In probably rap’s finest lyrical palindrome, he admits he’s got his “mind on my money and my money on my mind.” — CP

AC/DC’s “Have A Drink On Me” The pushy bastard insists 20 times in a fourminute song, which is, perhaps, not uncommon for the already intoxicated. Like Snoop, Brian Johnson recommends mixing dope and alcohol. Of course, he’ll mix anything. “Sour mash and cheap wine” with “tequila [and] white lightnin’ … whiskey, ice, and water,” — all are recommended as Johnson comes off as an even better mixologist than Amy Winehouse. (Too soon? John Bonham maybe?) You’ll find no bigger fan of alcohol escapism than Johnson: “So don’t worry about tomorrow, take it today… we’ll get Hell to pay.” It’s a fine plan until the devil finds you the next morning and takes it out on your ass. — CP

NWA’s “8-Ball” It’s the episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where “Eazy-E’s in effect and got the 8-ball rollin.” On his way to the liquor store with a 40 oz. of Olde English in his lap

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Beastie Boys’ “Brass Monkey” Also known as a poor man’s mimosa, “Brass Monkey,” as referenced by the Beasties, is a mixture of malt liquor and orange juice — a very funky monkey indeed. (Traditionally, Brass Monkeys had been one part each vodka and dark rum with orange juice.) When Adrock says he’s “got a castle in Brooklyn/ that’s where I dwell,” you have to wonder if the castle’s white. — CP

Willie Nelson’s “BloodY Mary Morning” Willie Nelson’s not the first country boy to come back from Los Angeles a little poorer and a lot wiser. Willie’s not one to surrender, but an alcohol-fueled retreat/stay-cation in Houston is the recommended prescription for a broken heart. Of course, that begins with a good-morningyou’re-flying-the-friendly-skies Bloody Mary. He’s feeling smoggy and hazy like the L.A. weather, confessing to the cliché’s essential truth: “The pitfalls of the city are extremely real… temptation and deceit’s the order of the day.” — CP

Todd Snider’s “Beer Run” It could be part of college orientation with a melody off Sesame Street: “B, Double E, Double R-U-N, Beer Run!” It even comes with instructions: “All we need is a 10 and fiver, a car and key, and a sober driver.” In the story, two frat boys “mistakenly” buy funny cigarettes off a hippie and end up thirsty and hungry, but later find another helpful hippie who saves the day. They go off singing Robert Earl Keen’s “The Road Goes On Forever and the Party Never Ends.” One dog and a train — the perfect country song. — CP THE DRINK ISSUE

Eagles’ “Tequila Sunrise” Sort of the flipside for “Bloody Mary Morning,” “Tequila Sunrise” was the Eagles’ second big hit (after “Desperado”), which helped establish their country light-rock credentials. “She wasn’t just another woman… Take another shot of courage/ Wonder why the right words never come, you just get numb.” Of course, that numbness could be the after-effect of too much cocaine (the subject of their subsequent album, Hotel California). — CP

The Replacements’ “Here Comes a Regular” Consider this the dark underbelly of Cheers. Singer Paul Westerberg describes the scene as “a picture on the fridge that’s never stocked with food.” Needless to say, the emptiness goes unfilled. Westerberg says he’s “sick of everything that my money can buy,” and characterizes himself as “the fool who wastes his life.” Stepping out of the bar, he turns his back “on a pay-you-back, last call.” The imagery’s bleak as autumnal leaves blow past, bearing the promise of coming snow. Pretty much the polar opposite of “Margaritaville,” it’s a powerful portraiture of booze’s desultory side. — CP

Black Flag’s “TV Party” Black Flag raises a glass to everything our culture stands for: state-sanctioned agoraphobia. “We’ve got nothing better to do,” the gang chorus intones, “than watch TV and have a couple brews.” They wonder why even venture into public when it seems so frightful. “I wouldn’t be without my TV for a day or even a minute,” they sing. “Don’t bother to use my brain any more — there’s nothing left in it.” It’s a perfect sardonic spit take on suburban anomie over slashing spazz-punk guitar, writhing bass, and rabid handclaps. Only the names have changed, from That’s Incredible! and The Jeffersons to Survivor and Two and a Half Men. — CP musicscribe@gmail.com jswerzen@trinity.edu

Drink

Although it no longer serves food, Drink remains an upscale, yet comfy lounge with a full bar and an above-average wine list. A favorite among the river rat set, Drink attracts locals and tourists alike with its popular happy hour (2-9 p.m. daily with $2.50 wells and select drafts, plus wines by the glass for $4). 200 Navarro, (210) 224-1031, drinktexas.com.

Ebb Tide Lounge

A nice little place in the shadow of Fort Sam Houston that’s been serving beer, wine, and setups to regulars for 53 years. Nothing fancy: Four TVs, two pool tables, two dartboards, and cordial bartenders overseen by Colonel Barefoot. 2117 Harry Wurzbach, (210) 277-0508.

El Lugar

This neighborhood beer bar caters to lovers of motorcycle culture. Unless you show up on a Thursday night, when the place lights up with live blues and rock, you’ll find yourself among pool-playing regulars listening to blasts from the past on the jukebox. Against a cheery red-orange exterior, a yellow sign announces what’s not welcome at El Lugar: “No gang activity, no colors, no drugs.” And for $2 imports, we can live with that. 700 Ruiz.

Endless Music Club

North side topless club offers low-pressure lounging, promising future variety — great for a saucy happy hour (free wings from 6-9pm, halfpriced drinks every Tuesday) or a relaxed, but stimulating mixer. 19314 US Hwy 281, (210) 404-9282, endlessmusicnightclub.com.

Esquire Tavern

If you’ve been longing for the only-in-Texas charm once offered by the Esquire Tavern, rejoice: The Esquire’s once 79-foot-long bar top has gotten even longer in its old age, now boasting “108 feet of beer-soaked wood rubbed smooth by the elbows of a zillion tipplers,” not to mention one of the city’s most progressive (and potent) cocktail menus. 155 E Commerce, (210) 222-2521, esquiretavern-sa.com.

Evil Olive Elixir Lounge/ Phil’s Texas Diner

The smoke-free, modern-casual environs are sleek, but the laid-back atmosphere beckons to a mixed Northside crowd. Check out the Texas BBQ, diner fare, and homemade desserts served until 2 a.m. 2950 Thousand Oaks, Ste 5, (210) 495-0970. 33


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DECEMBER MUSIC CALENDAR

Event Catering 25-15,000 people Choose from Holiday Plates to Traditional BBQ DEC. 16

Fri. December 16

Rick Salinas

George Chambers

DEC. 17

Sat. December 17

Sat. December 17 Fri. December 23

Fri. December 23

Doug Winn

Bob Curry

Fri. December 30

Fri. December 30

George Chambers

Jim Chesnut

DEC. 30

DEC. 23

Doug Winn

DEC. 30

Patrick Joseph & Ken Burson

DEC. 23

Grady’s Locations Visit our kid’s outdoor playground & patio at: 13525 Wetmore 210-343-8080 6510 San Pedro Ave. 210-805-8036 7400 Bandera Road 210-684-2899 3619 IH-35 210-343-8050 327 E. Nakoma St. 210-343-8070 8683 FM 78, Converse, TX 210-343-8060 4109 Fredericksburg Rd. 210-732-3636

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Call Grady’s Bandera at 210-684-2899 or Grady’s Wetmore at 210-343-8080 for January’s music lineup.

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32  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

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DRINK

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Flying Saucer

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Flying Saucer

A menu of nearly 300 brews, including 81 on a rotating tap basis, never fails to pique our curiosity. Friendly staff, from managers to servers, all know their ales from their IPAs and can help patrons pick one pint from the 100 they’re pondering. A particular bonus is the Saucer’s free wi-fi, which makes working “from home” much more fun. 11255 Huebner, Ste 212, (210) 696-5080, beerknurd.com.

the Hill Country. You’ll find half-priced appetizers during happy hour (3-7 p.m. Monday-Friday), plus $2.75 drafts on Freetail Pint Night Tuesdays and half off all wines on Texas by the Vine Wednesdays (both 7 p.m.-close, which is midnight or later). 4035 N Loop 1604 W, (210) 395-4974, freetailbrewing.com.

The Friendly Spot

Fountain Room Cocktail Lounge

Frank Mumme’s The Other Woman

Along with quite possibly the best bar name in town, The Other Woman offers high-stakes karaoke (Friday and Saturday nights), darts, and perfectly priced drinks. By day, wells are $2.50, inflating only slightly to $2.75 at night, and $3 buys imports all day long. Need we say more? 1123 Fair, (210) 534-7399.

Freetail Brewing Co.

A local micro-brewery devoted to all things Texan — including bats — and operating with copper tanks from the venerable East Coast John Harvard’s Brew House chain, Freetail features specialty craft brews like La Muerta, La Rubia, Old Bat Rastard, and Prickly Fairy Peril, plus Texas wines and stone-hearth oven pizzas in a sports-friendly setting on the edge of

2518 N. Main Michael Barajas

Not much has changed since this cocktail lounge opened more than 50 years ago: The retro-’50s green sign still sits atop the brick building, although now it’s flanked by two satellite dishes, which beam in channels to two big-ass screens. Pretty much everything else is vintage (Formica countertops, glittery red vinyl elbow rests, etc.), including the prices. 918 Bandera, (210) 433-0691.

The Friendly Spot

This family-accommodating ice house with a playground, an unfathomably worldly beer selection, and authentic Mexican street fare has quickly become the destination of choice for Southtowners looking to wind down the day. Don’t be deterred by the abundance of strollers, that’s but one of the things that makes the spot so friendly. 943 S Alamo, (210) 224-2337, thefriendlyspot.com.

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A sophisticated speakeasy-inspired establishment, the Green Lantern combines the best of cocktail culture with the frisson of Capone-era cellar hideouts. Knowledgeable bartenders shake up custom concoctions and potent classics like Between the Sheets, Sazeracs, and French 75s (not to mention infusions made on-site), making the Prohibition-themed bar one of our favorite reasons to fly north. 20626 Stone Oak Pkwy, Ste 101, (210) 497-3722.

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12710 IH-10W. Suite 100 • San Antonio (at De Zavala & Interstate 10 in the University Square Shopping Center)

(210) 641-1288 • www.huhot.com

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Erik Gustafson

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Green Lantern 33

Havana Bar

Easily the most cinematic hideout in Saytown, the Havana Bar sits snugly in the basement of a former residential hotel dating to 1914, re-imagined in 2010 by hotelier Liz Lambert. Speak-easy glamour, impossibly dim lighting, vintage furnishings, and a thoughtful bar menu make this the bat cave of choice for hip downtowners, tourists, and anyone wishing to disappear into one of its dark corners. 1015 Navarro, (210) 222-2008, havanasanantonio.com.

Heat

Arguably SA’s chicest gay dance club, Heat boasts weekly drag shows, amateur nights, theme parties with touring DJs, and some of the most up-to-date dance music on the Main Strip. The ultra-modern back bar is perfect for lounging with a cocktail and watching the circus of twinks, trannies, and gym rats pretending not to notice one another. As with most flaming watering holes, Heat puts hetero bars and their patrons to shame with unbeatable drink specials and chiseled physiques. 1500 N Main, (210) 227-2600, heatsa.com.

Hidden Tavern

Tacky, but friendly — it’s not a place to be seen, but a good place to get heard on the karaoke stage and to relax with good friends. Check out karaoke (5:30-10:30 p.m.) Friday-Tuesday, and be sure to put your name in with the host early. 11407 West Ave, (210) 541-0001, hiddentavern.com.

Hills and Dales

Nestled in the shadow of UTSA’s 1604 campus, Hills and Dales boasts 54 beers on tap and 425 bottled varieties. Bring

your own mug — if they can find space, you can leave it there for return visits — or you’ll be drinking out of plastic. Punch cards log every draft you drink, while the varied clientele is a friendly mix of bikers, suits, students, and regulars. 15403 White Fawn, (210) 695-2307.

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Hi-Tones

A new (bright blue) live music venue on the St. Mary’s Strip, Hi-Tones ushers in a fresh scene that’s unfussy, unfancy, and totally fun. The bar plans to cater to every genre from hip-hop and folk to cumbia and indie rock (and everything in between). With cheap drinks and specialty shots to boot, this new bar on the block is becoming a fast favorite. 621 E Dewey, (210) 573-6220.

The Hoity Toit

At the Hoity Toit they’ve got beer — iced down and cheap. If you want to drink something else, go somewhere else. Peruse the jukebox on nights absent of Spurs games; besides the traditional country fare, it features the hearty Jimi Hendrix rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner.” 421 E Torrey, New Braunfels, (830) 625-0107.

The Industry

Starting with Working Woman’s Wednesdays, every night is a different party at The Industry. While the club’s Traxx Bar focuses on ’80s new wave and indie electro (and even serves such retrothemed shots as Purple Rain, Pretty in Pink, Thriller, and Like a Virgin), the Main Room offers a seamless, genre-spanning mix of party music spun by Best of SA winner DJ Eddie Lopez. 8021 Pinebrook, (210) 366-3229, feelgoodfridays.com 39

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DRINK

FORGET THE Getting dragged into tourist row? Here’s some perfect hidden drinking spots to ease the pain

As San Antonio denizens, we all live in fear of it. It usually happens around the holidays, or in the dastardly drought that is summer. We avoid it. But it’s always there, waiting: the Alamo. It’s not that we hate the Alamo, per se (really DRT, we don’t, please don’t sic your flying monkeys on us), but we’ve all been forced to take the tour like 17 times before. Every relative and out-of-town guest needs to see it, if only to say they’ve been. Then it’s into the unworldly cheer of the River Walk. What to do? Chloroform the aunt? Fake an illness? The answer is simple: drop her ass off at that long line to the Alamo and park yourself on a bar stool. There are dozens of places to take in a tasty libation in downtown, and not all of ’em are irredeemable tourist traps. … Really. Here are some of our picks. — Lauren W. Madrid

2

1 Biga on the Banks

203 S St. Mary’s (210) 225-0722 biga.com Your best bet here is to occupy a seat at the curvy bar itself. Peruse the wine list, as it’s one of the best you’ll find at a bar anywhere on the river (though the one at Boudros is also no slouch). Bronson, the regular bartender, can help guide you to a wine or a cocktail that will work with the bar snacks — also among the best anywhere on the banks. Game packets, pot stickers, chicken-fried oysters… it’s all good and will be properly served with

assorted very good breads — almost reason alone to go. — RB

Bohanans

1

219 E Houston, Ste 275 (210) 472-2600 Texas is beer country, but cocktail culture is alive and well at the bar at Bohanan’s, located off the River Walk by the Majestic Theatre. No wonder, the barmen have been trained by one of the best — famed New York mixologist Sasha Petraske, who makes frequent trips to SA to impart his expertise of pre-Prohibition recipes. Take a seat in a club chair and try

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THE DRINK ISSUE

the Last Word with Rye, a whiskey variant on the classic, made with green chartreuse, or The Left Hand Cocktail, with bourbon, campari, sweet vermouth, and chocolate bitters. Bar food is eclectic, too, offering Spanish Serrano ham, Akaushi meatballs, and savorysweet candied jalapenos. — SA

El Colegio

2

Omni Mansión del Rio 112 College St (210) 518-1000 omnihotels.com El Colegio occupies the former library of St. Mary’s College. It has

a comfy atmosphere with clubby sofas and chairs clustered around a fireplace, and the bar top is of worn marble that speaks of age and tradition. True, the new drinks list is corporate affair, but it does offer trendy cocktails such as the Indian Summer with Hendrick’s Gin, organic elderflower liqueur, and lime juice, and a very good Smoky Patron with the namesake tequila, agave syrup, lime juice, and a splash of Del Maguey Mezcal. Yes, these drinks bumped some longtime classics off the menu — “We’ve been famous for our margaritas for a long time,” remarked Harold. But

he can still make you the Las Canarias model if asked. Bar snacks such as a braised beef quesadilla or country fried Lockhart quail would likely work with any of the margs — or a stout single malt. — RB

3

The Esquire Tavern

155 E Commerce (210) 222-2521 esquiretavern-sa.com Opened in 1933, the Esquire is the oldest drinks establishment on the River Walk, offering both an expansive collection of beers on tap and some of the best-crafted cocktails in SA. Though by city law


ALAMO

Ocho Lounge

Photos by Veronica Luna Esquire: Bryan Rindfuss

1015 Navarro (210) 222-2008 havanasanantonio.com Both physically and aesthetically, Ocho Lounge, part of the newlyrevived Hotel Havana, is separated from everything on the River Walk that makes you cringe, far removed from the Hard Rock Cafe-types, the tourists furiously snapping photos and the vendors hawking coon-skin caps. This street-level bar, cased in a glass and steel conservatory-like structure, is upscale but intimate, laid back and loungey. And their outdoor patio overlooking the river tends to kill it with great live music. Hide away here, sipping on a Santiago Painkiller, a Hemingway Daiquiri, or Martinique Punch. — MB

SoHo Wine & Martini Bar

214 W Crockett (210) 444-1000 sohomartinibar.com I tend to do my “challenging” drinking at home. Saytown is full of Cheers-esque bars that are good for dry martinis, shots, and beers, but seldom reliable for a solid Manhattan or classic Side Car. At SoHo, you can sip brisket-infused bourbon or have a bloody mary garnished with freshly torched bacon. I recommend you ask bartender Ibis to prepare you an Old Fashioned with rye, sugar, Angostura bitters, and fire-zested orange (with a cherry). You’ll want to thank me, but, really, the credit goes to her and SoHo’s cadre of expert, accommodating barkeeps. — AVC

5 cigars are no longer tolerated along the 108-foot-long bar rail, the back balcony still commands a calming view of the waters as unreconstructed patrons puff and drink. The kitchen provides bar classics like boiled peanuts, deviled eggs (which go nicely with the house-made ginger beer), and one of the best bison burgers in the city. Best off all — no damn sound system. — SA

MOSES ROSE’S HIDEOUT 518 E Houston St (210) 775-1808 mosesroseshideout.com One hundred and seventy-five

years after Moses Rose (allegedly) opted out of the Battle of the Alamo (and certain death), the cleverly named Moses Rose’s Hideout has sprung up right around the corner from Alamo Plaza, catering to locals and tourists alike. In stark contrast to the Alamo’s commercialized reverence, Moses Rose’s offers tongue-in-cheek quirkiness along with its decent selection of brews and functioning grill. For instance, patrons must “enter through the gift shop,” leading to a not-so-secret door that requires a password. If you don’t know it, expect to do some kind of embarrass-

The Texan II

ing act (hula hooping, dancing, etc.). Are you brave enough? — CK

4

Naked Iguana Lounge

421 E Commerce (210) 226-8462 rioriocantina.com Even if you aren’t waiting for a table upstairs at Rio Rio Cantina ― the Tex-Mex sister of Paesanos and Zuni Grill ― the Naked Iguana Lounge is still worthy of a visit. On a bustling stretch of the River Walk, this compact lounge is easily missed. With a glowing iguana skeleton (created by the late artist Kevin Stephens) mounted to the wall and

Reviewers: Ron Bechtol, Scott Andrews, Bryan Rindfuss, Michael Barajas, Veronica Salinas, Adam Villela Coronado, Chuck Kerr a color scheme reminiscent of a blacklight poster, the place gives off a midnight vibe — even at noon. Reverse happy hour (11 p.m.-close Friday-Saturday and 10 p.m.-close Sunday-Thursday) makes having an after-dinner drink here a no-brainer, but choosing between the 16 margarita varieties (including a skinny one made with Austin-based Dulce Vida Tequila, $9) requires an executive decision. — BR THE DRINK ISSUE

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114 Jefferson (210)212-6442 Located right around the corner from Travis Park, The Texan II (a fully stocked spin-off of the Texan I off West Ave) is a quaint place for locals who want to kick back and have a few drinks and avoid the hubbub of the River Walk tourist traps. The Texan II houses a diverse crowd who go for daily specials after a hard day/night of work. During the week the Texan II plays host to a variety of events ranging from karaoke, open-mic, and live music. Try the bartender-recommended specialty shot, the Starfucker, made with watermelon rum. — VS

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THE DRINK ISSUE


Bryan Rindfuss

DRINK

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IVY Rooftop

SA’s first hotel-style rooftop lounge is an official must-see for partyers under 30. You might have to wait in line on a weekend night, but the place honestly looks best before the crowd arrives. Consider arriving early for an outdoor cocktail; if it feels like a good fit, you’ll be in position for a rotating cast of DJs and people-watching of the ego-fueled variety. Luxe outdoor furnishings give IVY a slick South Beach vibe, while drink prices fortunately remain within this time zone. 4553 N Loop 1604 W, (210) 393-0511.

Jack’s Bar

A recent move hasn’t slowed Jack’s down one bit. Expect to see music lovers of varying ages drawn in by Jack’s laidback appeal, no-nonsense cocktails, and live performances by such quality local acts as Girl in a Coma, Pop Pistol, and Blowing Trees, and an occasional wild card like the all-male Lady Gaga tribute band Rad Bromance. 3030 Thousand Oaks, (210) 494-2309, jacksbarsa.com.

Joe Blue’s

Joey of Joey’s and Blue Star Brewery fame applies his ample bar skills to this sleek little cocktail lounge in the Blue Star Arts Complex. On First Fridays, Joe Blue’s is the perfect place to hide from all the art (trust us, everything looks better after a dirty martini or three) while listening to an acoustic set. 1420 S Alamo, (210) 212-5421, bluestarbrewing.com/music/joeblues.html.

The Korova

High-octane live music attracts a

mixed alternative crowd on certain nights, but it was a DJ spinning vintage New Order that officially made us Korova fans. Dollar wells get thrown back on ‘Lectro Club Thursdays and DJs Detra and Madmax spin everything from deathrock to synthpop during Friday’s post-punk dance party Dark Entries. For a true taste of the underground scene, hang downstairs, where we were (accidentally) stomped on by a boot-clad mosher. 107 E Martin, (210) 995-7229, facebook.com/thekorova.

La Tuna & La Tuna Grill

Beer bottlecaps crunch under your feet beneath the city’s best tree canopy. Such is the atmosphere at La Tuna, a Southtown fixture where bikers and artists peacefully coexist over cheap beers in the shadow of one of SA’s coolest industrial backdrops. Now easing back into operation post decimating fire at next door’s Pedicab. 100 Probandt, (210) 212-5727, latunagrill.com.

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No longer leaning thanks to a move to a restored Southtown convent (painted a pinky shade of coral to the bewilderment of some), lady Liberty’s upper level retains trace elements of the original location’s arty vibe, while the imaginative menu remains unscathed. Legendary bloody marys and mimosas go down for half off on Saturdays (10:30 a.m.-1:45 p.m.), Monday Wine Night offers 30 percent off all bottles of wine and champagne, and happy hour (4-6 p.m. Monday-Friday) promises $3 drafts and select cocktails. 1111 S Alamo, (210) 227-1187, liberty-bar.com.

Kumori is something different. Something mouth-watering, yet healthy. What does Kumori mean? It means your next or your first sushi, teppanyaki, and sashimi. Kumori could mean lunch and dinner everyday this month without trying everything on the menu. Kumori. Let the good times roll. 11:30 - 10pm Sun - Thur 11:30 - 11pm Fri - Sat

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DRINK

Photos by Veronica Luna

TONY TEQUILA ‘T

is the season when booze meets billboards all over town and flossy liquor images fill the pages of consumer magazines. This year tequila is making a more concerted appearance, with ads for premium-priced brands especially apparent. A new brand in the increasingly crowded field seems to be making its pitch based on price — higher, not lower. Casa Dragones is elaborately packaged in a Tiffanyblue box, with each bottle numbered and dated… and it retails for $279 at Twin Liquors — where you have to ask. The price wasn’t noted on the shelf when I checked.

Brave resident tasters put several especial bottles to the test BY RON BECHTOL

Miraculously, the Current obtained a bottle. So we decided to put together a what’s-it-worth-to-you tasting of tequilas from three out of the five categories of the spirit: blanco or silver; joven or gold; reposado; añejo, and extra-añejo (there was no reposado or añejo in the hunt). This was based on what was at hand, what could be begged and, when there was no other alternative, actually bought. Agreeing to participate in this grabbag exercise were two of the town’s foremost tequila aficionados, Robert Millican of Drew’s American Grill (he actually has a certificate from the Academia Mexicana del Tequila) and

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Jeret Peña of the Esquire Tavern, along with myself and the Current’s Calendar Editor Bryan Rindfuss. They tasted blind. I did not. We all used Reidel’s tequila flutes and chased our room-temperature sips with a classic sangrita (see recipe on the online version of this story). The fun began with a baseline silver from Herradura, whose advertising reads, “You can’t have great style without great taste.” It’s packaged in a classy but simple bottle, which may be the “style” part, and comments on the nose ran from peppery and lightly vegetal to honeyed, smoky, and hints of citrus. Obser-

vations on the palate were equally wide-ranging, but all agreed that it was light, fresh, and clean, especially after an initial hotness dissipated and some mint and other herbal notes appeared. “It’s a lovely little girl,” commented Millican. We all thought about $35 was a reasonable price, and that turns out to be very close to what it sells for. Silver number two was a pony of a different color altogether (a pony being the traditional tequila shooting glass, FYI). Since blancos are bottled straight from the still with no aging in oak, we have to look to other factors to explain why Sauza’s Tres

Generaciones Plata evoked dark cacao, dates, and vanilla, according to Peña. Highland versus lowland sources for the agave, roasting in pits versus steaming in vats, double versus triple distillation… all can be factors. Though most tequilas are double-distilled, this Sauza gets the triple treatment. If this can sometimes lead to diminished aromatics, such was not the case here. Millican found pineapple and banana in addition to cocoa, and detected a baked agave quality in the taste… all within a light body, however. Rindfuss said it reminded him of sake. Maybe because it seemed more complex, we 42


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pegged this one at around $45. It’s actually closer to $37. Extra añejo is a new category, one that requires aging for at least three years in oak vessels no larger than 600 liters. Our next bottle was the pioneer in this field, choosing to go the unusual route of entering the U.S. market first with an extra, only to come out later with a silver. TequilaMe’s añejo elicited both praise and a little concern. “It’s hard to imagine this as an extra-añejo,” remarked Peña, who expected more wood influence. But then he went on to describe a “cloud of sweet vanilla wrapped in a floral bouquet.” Millican also found flowers, and added spice, fruit, and citrus to the mix, calling it a “soccer mom” tequila. (Its advertising is a little more Desperate Housewives, however.) Voluptuous and multilayered were my thoughts. We agreed that we would pay around $55 to $60 for this one, but in fact the price is scheduled to drop to $45 retail. I hadn’t anticipated tasting the TequilaMe Ultra Silver, but it was available, and no DNA test was required to be convinced of common parentage. “Flowers, dried fruit, and agave nectar,” said Millican, adding “complex” to the palate descriptors. “Perfumy, honey, dates, and whipped cream,” claimed Peña. “Snappier, yeastier than the añejo, but with lemon curd and pastry cream” was my contribu-

tion. Our take on price? $35-$40. It’s due to drop to $25. At last, the bottle that launched a thousand sips — or at least several dozen. Casa Dragones is a unique product in that it’s a joven (basically meaning an unaged silver with some flavor or color added — in this case a suspicion of extra-añejo) that’s priced as a full super añejo, and, oh yes, it has been touted by Martha Stewart. By any stretch of the imagination is it worth the asking price? “It has a pleasant light sweetness with apricots [on the nose],” said Peña. On the palate, he found it “complex, a sharp floral aspect, rose… and a long finish. You would really have to appreciate tequila in order to understand what they are doing,” Millican also found lavender, citrus, and orange blossom, and called it “sexy and creamy” with a long, “floralicious” finish. “It doesn’t feel like it’s been messed with,” he concluded. “Soft and mysterious,” thought Rindfuss. I found it unusually (and admirably) sophisticated in nearly every way, agreeing with the sexy-creamy in spades, and only missed a little of the peppery love bite of a good silver. Sadly for the producer, none of us could imagine paying more than $100 for it. But for the special one-percenter on your list — someone who either thinks he doesn’t like tequila or is really into it — it’s perfect. D


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DRINK 39

Limelight Music + Drinks

“Living in the Limelight” may not be the “universal dream” that Rush’s Geddy Lee claims it is, but it’s practically modus operandi for a lot of downtown scenesters. Themed DJ nights — like Limelight’s fiveyears-strong dance party, Velcro Underground with Bartron and Smartypants — pack the place on weeknights, while Fridays and Saturdays offer some of the best local and regional acts San Antonio can muster. Arrive early if you expect to snag one of the barstools. 2718 N St. Mary’s, (210) 735-7775, thelimelightsa.com.

Lion & Rose

Lion & Rose is one of the few places in SA to buy a pint of Smithwick’s (and an imperial pint at that). Live music on weekends, English-style pub grub, bar games, and imports galore attract lively crowds at any given location. 5148 Broadway, (210) 822-7673; 842 NW Loop 410, (210) 798-4154; 8211 Agora Pkwy, (210) 5473000; 700 E Sonterra, (210) 798-5466, thelionandrose.com.

featuring up-and-coming country music talent. Free dance lessons, bikini contests, and boot-scootin’ drink specials (like $1 wells, $3 “anything else,” and a $1,000 cash giveaway on Fridays and $1.50 Blue Moon drafts on Saturdays) keep the racetrack-style dance floor in motion. 12260 Nacogdoches, (210) 655-0040, midnightrodeosanantonio.com.

The Mine Shaft Saloon

Formerly a prop closet for the adjoining costume-happy restaurant the Magic Time Machine, the expanded Mine Shaft Saloon is probably the only place in town you’ll see Snow White rolling silverware while Captain Jack Sparrow practices his accent. Tastefully furnished with ’80s detritus, the cozy bar attracts a gregarious post-work crowd for live music on Tuesdays (with $2 Lone Star and Ziegenbock pints), Fridays (with $3 Dos Equis pints and Stoli Flavors), and Saturdays (with $8.50 Dos Equis pitchers), plus karaoke from 9 p.m. on Sundays. 902 NE Loop 410, (210) 828-1470.

The Mix

This sophisticated jazz club with a spotless record attracts hipsters of all ages (and a little bit of everything else) for local and touring acts like Brownout! With live music Wednesday-Saturday (including free Latin vibes from Border Palace on Wednesdays and neo soul and R&B with Soul Prodigy every First Friday), Luna is one of the chicest date-night destinations in the city. 6740 San Pedro, (210) 804-2433, lunalive.com.

Linger too long on the St. Mary’s Strip and the crowd will probably push you into the Mix whether you were planning to go or not. This mainstay often ends up the de-facto place to be when you have no particular place to be, but free shows by high-caliber local bands make it a destination spot on the weekends. When an established act’s on the bill, check your claustrophobia at the door and BYO shoehorn. 2423 N St. Mary’s, (210) 735-1313, myspace.com/themixnightclub.

The Martini Club

M.K. Davis

Luna Fine Music Club

With décor inspired by an old Vegas lounge, Martini’s is one of San Antonio’s best-kept secrets. Owner Wayne Harper, a reported master of musical styles, impresses his patrons with lively performances every Friday and Saturday night (beginning at 9:30 p.m.), while live jam sessions (8pmmidnight on Mondays) and karaoke (from 9 p.m. Wednesday and Thursday) attract a colorful array of garden-variety lounge lizards. 8507 McCullough, (210) 344-4747.

SUCCEED IN 2012

LOSE WEIGHT

STOP SMOKING

HYPNOSIS CAN HELP SAN ANTONIO HYPNOSIS CENTEr 210-590-9292 www.sahypnosis.net 210-710-8768

THE MINDS EYE TATTOO & PIERCING

Mon Ami Lounge

Rich history and a stuffed moose head with a discerning stare sum up the ambience at The Menger Hotel Bar, where locals and tourists gather for drinks. Prices are a little steep, but an opportunity to mingle with Teddy Roosevelt’s restless spirit mere steps from the Alamo is priceless. 204 Alamo Plaza, (210) 223-4361, mengerhotel.com.

Midnight Rodeo

MOSES ROSE’S HIDEOUT

The predecessor of Cowboys Dancehall, this country dance-club has thrived for a quarter century by hosting concerts

-gordon leith

Pour some out for dearly departed M.K. Davis, who pioneered a cooling system for his 32-ounce schooners guaranteed to whet the whistles of near-Westsiders, even in the heat of summer. The saloon-type bar connects with the restaurant, meaning plenty of homecookin’ to soak up nine different draught beers. 1302 N Flores, (210) 223-1208.

The small watering hole behind Mon Thai is a perfectly casual, grown-up spot for bohemians and business types to sip something more inventive than a martini: say, a potent Kanzler, a Mad Men-inspired Don Draper, or an award-winning Aperolbased Miradora. Whether you’re on your own or with a date, Mon Ami is the perfect spot for an old-school nightcap poured by someone versed in the art of mixology. 4901 Broadway, (210) 822-3253.

The Menger Hotel Bar

“Between the conscious and the unconscious is a Bridge of opportunity to meet one’s goals.”

8503 Broadway St. Suite 107 210.824.0188

Follow Moses to this downtown bar unafraid to poke at Alamo traditions, loosen its tie, and indulge in good food,

www.mindseyetattoos.com

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DRINK

Photos by Bryan Rindfuss

2

SHAKEN, STIRRED, AND BLOWN IN SAN ANTONE

1

Where better to pour holiday cocktails than into gift-worthy glasses made by local artists? In this feature, we paired three local glassworkers with three progressive drinking establishments for a mashup of handcrafted inebriation. BY BRYAN RINDFUSS

3

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Always open 11am-2am. Food Served till 1am. Best Selection of Irish & Scottish Whiskeys in town! All College & Pro Games on Big Screens, including Sunday Ticket! Happy Hour 4p-7p $2.50 Domestics $4.00 Dos XX, Shiner, & Sam Adams

5 Millican Jag from Drew’s American Grill: $10

1

The drink: 1 oz. Citadel Gin, 1 oz. 3 Caballos Reposado Tequila, 1 oz. Aperol, ½ oz. Luxardo Maraschino Liqueur, stirred and poured over hand-shaped, large-format ice and garnished with a true maraschino cherry and lemon zest. The glass: Flameworked “cup” by Justin Parr: $25.

Angel’s Frost from Ocho Lounge: $10

2

The drink: 1 ½ oz. Angel’s Envy Bourbon, ½ oz. B&B Liqueur, ¾ oz. heavy cream, ½ oz. simple syrup, shaken over ice and poured into a glass rimmed with vanilla sugar and garnished with freshly grated nutmeg. The glass: Flameworked Pyrex “Ice Cup” (includes freezable glass ice cubes and straw) by Jake Zollie Harper: $60.

3

Calvados Sour from Drew’s American Grill: $10

The drink: 1 ½ oz. Calvados, ½ oz. Mathilde Pear Liqueur, ¾ oz. lemon juice, ¾ oz. simple syrup, one egg white, shaken and topped with three to four dashes of Angostura Bitters. The glass: Flameworked “cup” by Justin Parr: $25.

Pinky Swear from the Esquire Tavern: $8

4

The drink: 1 oz. Rye whiskey, ¾ oz. grapefruit juice, ¼ oz. lemon juice, ¼ oz. honey, a pinch of pink peppercorn, shaken and poured into a champagne flute, topped with India pale ale, and garnished with a grapefruit twist. The glass: Handblown champagne goblet from Garcia Art Glass: $55

4 O’Clock from Ocho Lounge: $10

FREE

5

The drink: 2 oz. Courvoisier VSOP Cognac, 1 oz. hot water, ¾ oz. black teainfused honey syrup, a few zests of orange peel, the juice of one orange wedge, served in a warmed glass. The glass: Handblown stemless wine glass from Garcia Art Glass: $50

Waxy O’Connors Irish Pub & Eatery

LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF!

6 Almond Cigar from Ocho Lounge: $13

234 Riverwalk | 210.229.WAXY

6

The drink: 1 ½ oz. Bacardi 8 or other spiced rum, ¾ oz. amaretto, the juice of one-half lime, ¼ oz. agave nectar, shaken gently over ice and strained into a glass and garnished with a cinnamon stick for stirring. The glass: Flameworked Pyrex flute by Jake Zolllie Harper: $40. Drew’s American Grill 18740 Stone Oak Pkwy, (210) 483-7600, drewsamericangrill.com. Ocho Lounge and Havana Bar in the Hotel Havana 1015 Navarro, (210) 222-20008, havanasanantonio.com. The Esquire Tavern 155 E Commerce, (210) 222-2521, esquiretavern-sa.com. Garcia Art Glass Studio: 715 S Alamo, (210) 354-4681. River Walk Gallery: 123 Losoya, Ste 5, (210) 223-1400; garciaartglass.com. Glasses shown are special order only. Zollie Glass 1428 S Presa, (210) 601-3883, zollieglass.com. Justin Parr FL!GHT Gallery: 1906 S Flores, (210) 872-2586, turnitoff.tv. MBS Life: 1115 S Alamo, (210) 378-0379, mbsfitness.net.

Special thanks to Gini Garcia, Jason Garcia, Megan McGuire, Robert Millican, Justin Parr, Jake Zollie Harper, and Jeret Peña.

Melvin George Dec. 14-18

Park North Plaza • 541-8805 (Loop 410 @ Blanco)

HBO, Showtime, Fox & A&E

Jeff Dye Dec. 15-18

Finalist, Last Comic Standing. Voted Hot Comedian of the Year

Downtown Since 1993

849 East Commerce • 210-229-1420

NEW YEARS EVE

NEW YEARS EVE

Comedy Central and MTV

Andy Gross

San Antonio’s Own

Dec 29-Jan.1

Kelly Morton

Magic, Ventriloquism, Impressions & Comedy

Dec. 28- Jan 1

www.sanantoniocomedyclubs.com THE DRINK ISSUE

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SANANTONIOREGGAE.COM presents

CAFE REVOLUCION • DECEMBER 17TH - 18TH 527 EL PASO ST • SATX 78207 $15 Presale / $20 at the Gate Purchase Presale tickets: www.sanantonioreggae.com - Lazy Daze - Reggae Bar

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sanantonioreggaefestival

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Andrew & Wada Blood

reverbnation.com/andrewandwadablood facebook.com/andrewtreid

Sunday 12/18

Fortunate Youth

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Special Live Performances by: One Destiny • Radio La Chusma Ashes of Babylon • The Bad Chords • Carlton Pride and Zion • Idiginis Pinata Protest • The Bent Gents • Bonsai Nation • RiverCity All-Stars Spies like Us • Jah Lion • Jah P • DJ Outlaw • DJ Dish.1 • Dj Nandez DJ Ivor • And Many Many More!!!!!!

ALL AGES EVENT! Children 12 & Under FREE Featured Attractions include: Children Activities & Playground Area, Cultural Vendors, Caribbean & World Food Booths, Dancers & Drum Circles, Beer Booths & MUCH, MUCH MORE...

COME ENJOY THE LIFE, SOUNDS AND CULTURE OF REGGAE MUSIC!

Full bar w/margaritas, Hennessey, rum and fire dancers! Gates open at noon.

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DRINK 47

cold beer, and too-loud music. The Hideout does both “bar” and “grill” pretty well, but the atmosphere careens wildly depending on who’s onstage. 518 E Houston, (210) 775-1808.

Mustang Sally’s

Mustang Sally’s offers an introduction to SA’s subcultures and proves they can coexist on one dance floor. Cheap drinks, lots of cheesy shots, and Big Tyme’s roadhouse karaoke are reason enough to go south for a spell at Sally’s. 3428 Roosevelt, (210) 922-0957.

Nightrocker Live

This club, brought to you by SA’s veteran live-music promoter of the same name, is like a high-voltage living room with strong drinks and an unpretentious vibe. Get a taste of Austin’s music scene without the drive, behold the Micro Wrestling Federation in the parking lot, or check out artwork by emerging talent in the Midnight Gallery. 605 San Pedro, (210) 265-3573, nightrockerlive.net.

tertaining karaoke destinations (daily from 9:30 p.m. on the back patio) and quite possibly the most foolproof gay meat market in town. Tight jeans, ropers, and classic country music dominate the back bar while contemporary dance music videos set the pace for steamy encounters in the main room. Happy hour here (daily from 2-9 p.m.) is hard to beat: $2 domestic longnecks and wells with premium cocktails ranging from $3 to $5.50. 1402 N Main, (210) 299-4222, pegasussanantonio.com.

The Phoenix Saloon

Dating to 1871, this highly authentic melting pot is reportedly the birthplace of chili powder and the first bar in Texas to serve women (in an outdoor beer garden with an adjacent alligator pit). Painstakingly resurrected and restored as a chili parlor and live music venue with ungovernable tendencies, the Phoenix Saloon is well worth the trip to old New Braunfels. 193 W San Antonio St, New Braunfels, (830) 6431400, thephoenixsaloon.com.

The Olmos Bharmacy

Raffles Restaurant and Bar

On the Half Shell

Rascals Bar

The Acoustic Medicine Music Series has breathed new life into this charming restaurant and music venue situated in the historic Gilmore Pharmacy (which dates to 1938 and became the Olmos Pharmacy in the ’40s). Here everything from Celtic and jazz to blues and Americana gets served along with half-priced bottles of wine on Mondays (during the Small World Jazz Jam) and $4 micheladas during the SA Blue Cats Friday residency. 3902 McCullough, (210) 822-1188, olmosbharmacy.com. This unassuming bar in the heart of downtown features a cozy upper level, a picturesque back patio, and some of the cheapest drinks around. Possibly at its most intriguing on Tuesdays, when the poets of PuroSlam duke it out to the tune of heckling from the audience, On the Half Shell also hosts DJs who spin hip-hop, reggae, and a little bit of everything else. 202 Navarro, (210) 222-2171, onthehalfshell.net.

Papa Woody’s Roadhouse

You’d never guess from the ranchy exterior of the former Blue Mustang (and later House of Rock), but this tidy Southside tavern offers two full-service bars, four pool tables, an internet jukebox, and a modest dance floor that fills in fast when there’s live music (Thursday-Saturday) pumping from the 17,000-watt sound system. 8902 S Presa, (888) 897-6996, papawoodysroadhouse.com.

Pegasus

Pegasus is by far one of SA’s most en-

It’s dinner jackets and predatory-animal prints on the lido deck of the Pacific Princess at this perpetual Best of SA winner for Best Old Man Bar. Such a designation would be an insult to many establishments, but here it’s more of a warning. A recent hop across Loop 410 to a larger space hasn’t changed Raffles’ tune: this is party central (with live music Thursday-Saturday) for mature audiences only, overseen by former Pittsburgh Pirates shortstop Gair Allie Jr. 1039 NE Loop 410, (210) 8267118, rafflesrestaurantandbar.com. The self-proclaimed “Home of Wild Pig Sex” (don’t call the cops; it’s just a shot) is also a haven for classic karaoke, dart leagues, tastefully debauched bar art, and devoted regulars. Drink specials are plenty, and happy hour (noon-7 p.m. daily) packs in regulars for $1.50 domestic longnecks, $2 wells, and $3 mini pitchers. 1375 Austin Hwy, (210) 820-0164.

The Raven Hookah Lounge

Dazed and Confused meets the Victorian era: come for the hookah but BYOB. 1255 SW Loop 410, Ste 133, (210) 673-3650, ravenhookah.com.

Rebar

Twisted metal is the structural theme of this Alamo Heights neighborhood bar, but getting twisted is on the minds of many that gather here to take in live music (including the “one-man phunk band” Henry + the Invisibles at 10 p.m. on Fridays), DJs, games of pool and beer pong, video game nights, karaoke contests, and 57

HH- 4-8pm ($2 dom & $3 import) Wed - Friday 8pm-2am Wed-Sat

Tuesday Live Music Doors open @ 9pm Bottle Service-210-998-2901 7460 Callaghan Rd Ste 202 THE DRINK ISSUE

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Current!! s info from The ile App Get Happy Hour ob M EE FR r ou Download

happyhours.sacurrent.com

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9809 Fredericksburg #2 (210) 451-7857 - HH: 4-9pm: $2 domestics, $2 Coors & Coor Light , $2.50 wells, $4 calls

Happy Hou r of the Week

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7310 Jones Maltsberger • (210) 290-8066 HH Mon-Fri 4-7pm: $2.50 Wells & Domestic Bottles, $3 Domestic Draft Pints, $4 House Wine, $4.50 Texas Tea, $1 Off Margaritas. Daily Appetizer Specials! www.quarryhofbrau.com

FRIENDLY SPOT

943 S. Alamo - (210) 224-2337 - Open Mon-Sun 11am-12am Daily Specials All Day Long, Lunch Specials 11a-3pm $2 Coors & Coors Light All Day

COYOTE UGLY 409 E. Commerce • (210) 465-8459 HH: Wed: $3 Blue Moon; Thu: $3 Dos XX; Fri: $2 Coors Light LEAPIN LIZARD PUB 302 E. Commerce (between Presa & Navarro) 271-9494 - Open: mon 4pm-2am, tues-fri 2pm-2am, sat&sun noon-2a daily happy hour specials! featuring NFL sunday ticket! All games on 8 different screens!

NORTHWEST REHAB ULTRA LOUNGE

7460 Callaghan Rd. Suite 202 Happy Hour Wednesday-Friday 4-8p $2 Domestics, $3 Imports

RED SQUARE BAR

11851 Bandera Rd. @ 1604 (Next to Silverado Theater) 210-236-8565 • HH: Daily 4pm-8pm Follow us on Facebook!! redsquarebarsa.com

REGGAE BAR 2016 Austin Hwy $3 Red Stripe, $2 Lonestar & PBR, $2 Bud Ice everyday! We also feat- 25¢ Ziegen Bock every tues 4pm-10pm, $1 margaritas every wednesday 4pm-10pm, $1 Ziegen Bock 4pm-2am every thursday. come get irie!!!!!!!!!!!! NIGHTROCKER LIVE 605 San Pedro • (210) 265-3573 • HH Starts at 3PM Tues-Sat, No Cover for Ladies until 10pm. Everday/ All Day: $1 El Perrito Tequila Shots & $2 Tallboys www.nightrockerlive.net CLUB SIRIUS 228 Losoya St. happy hour 7 days a week • Mon-Sun 10am-7pm $2 domestic bottles/cans, $2 dos xx, $2 power hour from 4-5p, $3 wells & jager, $5 patron

NORTHEAST HOULIHAN’S LIVE OAK

14601 IH-35 North • (210) 651-4744 HH: Food Specials-$6.95 apps- bar/lounge/patio Sunday-Friday 4-6:30 pm and 10-close Drink Specials-Insanely low prices on bottles of wine, long islands and draft beer. All day, every day.

CHARLIE BROWNS

11888 Starcrest #101 (210) 496-7092 • charlie-browns.com Sun-Mon: HH All Day $2 wells & $6 dom pitchers, Tues-$3 Jager, Wed-$2 Well Tequila, Thurs-$2.50 dom longnecks,Fri-$2.75 Wells, Sat-$3 Jager

NORTH CENTRAL

G SPORTS BAR

19903 Stone Oak Parkway @ Hardy Oak • 210.251.4547 Mon - Fri:3:00 pm-2:00 am. Sat - Sun:11:00 am-2:00 am GSPORTSBARSA.COM Daily HH: 3-6pm - $1 Off Drinks & Food. Reverse Happy Hour After NFL Games From 10-11pm Extended Happy Hour Every Friday 3pm-9pm

HOULIHAN’S SAN ANTONIO

938 N. Loop 1604 West • (210) 494-3371 HH: Food Specials-$6.95 apps- bar/lounge/patio Every day. 4-6:30 pm and 10-close Drink Specials- Insanely low prices on bottles of wine, long islands and draft beer. All day, every day.

• GET LISTED ON THE CURRENT HAPPY HOUR APP. • CALL 210-227-0044TO FEATURE YOUR HAPPY HOUR SPECIALS• • VISIT HAPPYHOURS.SACURRENT.COM • THE DRINK ISSUE

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Josh Huskin

Stephany Gordon, mixologist at SoHo Wine and Martini Bar.

time, but no one has tried since he started working for Mitchell’s this past summer. Meanwhile, his boss is reporting increased sales since Spahn’s arrival. Judy Simpson, former bartender and current general manager at Finnegan’s on US 281 near Thousand Oaks, considers part of nurturing that mutual respect as understanding that a responsible bartender cuts people off and does whatever they can to put a patron past their limit into a cab. “Once they start drinking, it’s almost like they’re your patient,” she said. “You have to keep an eye on them.” Spahn agrees. Adding that a good bartender is also a hardass about ID. “If they walk in and head straight to the bathroom, then I know they’ve got fake ID or no ID on them,” he said. “They also go straight to the pool table or the dartboard, anywhere but the bar.”

“I WANT SOMEONE TO ENJOY THEIR TIME HERE. IF THEY NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO AND FLIRT OR THEY WANT TO HAVE A POLITICAL CONVERSATION, THAT’S WHAT I’M HERE FOR.”

SWEET KNOW-NOTHINGS What SA’s bartenders (slash therapists, slash BFFs, slash secret crushes) wish you knew BY ADAM VILLELA CORONADO

F

our Aggie fans are sitting in a bar, sipping beers, and spending an afternoon being ornery over a football game against their most bitter rivals, the Longhorns. The game’s a real nail-biter. Something about changing conferences and ending a century’s worth of tradition. Well, the Aggies fans watch their team lose and it’s not pretty. Amidst this emotional violence, a polite Longhorn fan stops by to grip and grin with the losers. He thanks them for the thrilling rivalry over the years, compliments their sportsmanship and politely lets himself out. The Aggie fans follow him.

Enter Jeff Spahn, a 46-year-old theatre tech working under the employ of International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees, Local Union 76. Today, he’s tending bar at Mitchell’s Sports Bar on Lockhill Selma for extra coin. He steps out to break up the Aggies hurling fuck-bombs and unruly tones at the exiting Longhorn (who, let’s face it, should have kept his yapper shut). “They actually weren’t drunk; just mad and upset,” Spahn said. “One guy started crying because A&M lost. He was actually crying.” For those that don’t know, this display of brotherly love took place

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on the celebration known as Thanksgiving. Could there have been a more ironic day (save Christmas) for such macho pub theatre? The Aggies and (in a more subtle way) the Longhorn fan violated one of Spahn’s cardinal rules of bar behavior: don’t under any circumstances make the bar unsafe for anyone. A second credo of Spahn’s: all bartender-client relationships are based on mutual respect. He establishes this by running customers’ tabs old school: just a pen and paper with a name and drinks listed. He doesn’t authorize a card or accept payment until they cash out. They could walk on his tab at any

For cooperation on IDs, drink limits, and cab riding, a mild-mannered, glassy-eyed customer can expect an open ear and candid advice from their bartender. In the case of Stephany Gordon, a 29-year-old mixologist at SoHo Wine and Martini Bar, good behavior even comes with wish fulfillment, however limited. “Playful banter is fine; flirting is fine,” she said. Chatting over a Scarlet O’Hara (ask her for one; they’re fantastic), she told me it’s not unusual for her boyfriend to jokingly critique her modest neckline and encourage a certain bubbliness in her work. “He’ll tell me that I’m not showing enough cleavage, half-joking, half not,” she said, laughing. “I want someone to enjoy their time here. If they need someone to talk to and flirt or they want to have a political conversation or a sports conversation, that’s what I’m here for.” Meanwhile, more amorous patrons should consider how original their “declarations” might be to their drinkmakers. If you fancy the bartender, don’t make it known by staring skeezily at her/him over your michelada. “Sometimes looks make a bigger impact than anything they can say,” Gordon said, shuddering. Just don’t get your wires crossed. Be judicious. If these guidelines sound blatantly obvious, it’s likely because they’re all variations of the same theme: The Golden Rule. Yet midnight at Joe Blue’s is just the time and place that this maxim becomes spasmodically ignored. Resident Joe Blue’s bartender Scott Saulle promises he’s aware of everyone that bellies up, so no need to snap your fingers, bang your glass, or whistle for him. He’ll be right there after he preps these five Jägerbombs. Don’t be passive aggressive by writing phone numbers and drunken poetry on your credit card receipts. Instead, be prepared to act genuine, interested, and sober. And visit regularly. “You have to court them,” Gordon said, who receives a phone number on a receipt almost every night. “It’s almost like dating without dating. You’ve got to show them that you’re interested in them as a person, not just a pretty face that’s making your drink.” Or you could heed Thurman’s advice: “Don’t shit where you eat.” In any case, do unto your barkeeps as you would have them, ahem, do you. All interviewed for this story expressed genuine joy for their work. They love being the arbiter of good times and, in return, simply ask for your courtesy, patience, and whatever compensation you deem appropriate for their services. After all, “bartender” becomes an umbrella term for other jobs as the night wears on, namely therapist, counselor, caretaker, and single-serving BFF. “As a joke, my mother once asked me — because I studied psychology — what I’m ever going to do with my degree,” Simpson said. “Before she passed away I told her, ‘Mom, I use it every day.” D coronado.adam@gmail.com


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Uncle Mike’s Smoke Shop When

quality counts... come see us!

VIP Cards

$20

worth

Pick a beer, any beer: Freetail Brewing Co.

& referral Program 10708 Perrin Beitel Rd

946-9100 • 10a-10p Mon-Sat facebook.com/unclemikespipes

You’re sure to find that special something for your special someone! Jewelry, Watches, Creams, and Lip Balms Beautiful Accent Pieces

Snuggly Soft Pajamas, Cozy Socks and Slippers

Stylish Sweaters and Outerwear

Whole Earth Provision Co.

Purses, Hats, Scarves, and More!

Quarry Market at 255 East Basse 210-829-8888

WholeEarthProvision.com

START-UP PUBS Micro- to middle-brew pubs kicking up dust need to cling to that vision thing BY travis e. poling

2423 N. St. Marys Never a cover

21+

WEEKLY SHOWS

SUNDAYS - THE BARN BURNERS • MONDAYS - VOODOO VINYL TUESDAYS - GENTLEMAN JOE • WEDNESDAYS - THE SOB’S 54  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

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T

hose who have caught the fever for brewing beer often become like little kids picking what they want to be when they grow up. And like most youngsters who want to be firefighters, ballerinas, astronauts, or benevolent dictators, home brewers aren’t quite sure what it takes to achieve the dream until they are in deep. So you want to start a microbrewery or brewpub? There will be plenty of people rooting for you, especially your friends who think they’ll get to drink for free, but there is much to consider before taking the plunge. In June 2010, 389 people reported to the Brewers Association, the largest association of brewers in the United States, that they were working on opening a craft brewery. The number of new breweries that actually opened over the next year was 165, bringing the total to 1,790. As of mid-2011, there were 725 breweries in the planning stages in the United States, according to the Brewers Association.

“There is a growing interest in establishing new breweries,” said Brewers Association Director Paul Gatza when the latest statistics were released this summer. “It seems like every day we are hearing about a brewery in planning. Will they all make it? No. But many will if they produce highquality, interesting craft beers and can get them to market through self-distribution and beer wholesalers and beer retailers.” San Antonio and South Central Texas are no exception. Blue Star Brewing Co., a brewpub in the Southtown/King William area of San Antonio, has been in business for 15 years. In that time owner Joey Villarreal watched two microbreweries and two other brewpubs come and go as he weathered the storm that weeded out so many craft breweries in the early years of the movement. The addition of a bike shop, party space, movie nights, a free bus to Spurs games, and mule-like stubbornness kept the place open through it all. Scott Metzger’s dream started tak-


Courtesy photo

Erik Gustafson

ing shape years ago with an affection for home brewing and craft-beer drinking in ski country. But it took definite shape the day after Thanksgiving in 2008 when he opened the doors at San Antonio’s Freetail Brewing Co. It took a loan of more than $1 million and glitches aplenty to make it come to life. Now at the beginning of its fourth year of business, Freetail has become a statewide phenomenon with crowds coming for beer, pizza, or both at the North Loop 1604 establishment. Although a $4.5 million plan for a second location in downtown Houston didn’t pan out because the financing didn’t materialize, the brewpub is expanding in the space it has now. Metzger is adding a bottling line at the brewpub that can fill and cap more than a thousand 22-ounce bottles of beer an hour. State law, which he and others have unsuccessfully attempted to change, doesn’t allow brewpub beer to be sold on store shelves. But Metzger said he hopes more people will buy the beer to take home from Freetail in the future. The Filling Station, which is slated to open in early 2012, is taking the small-investment, small-batch approach to starting a brewery. The South St. Mary’s establishment is being set up inside a 300-square-foot location recently vacated

by a popular sandwich shop of the same name. The founders, a seasoned home brewer from Southern California and the owner of the sandwich shop now in a larger space next door, plan to make beer in batches of about a half barrel at a time in hopes that the combination of low overhead and downtown’s density of craft beer lovers will make ends meet. Ranger Creek Brewing & Distilling Co., San Antonio’s only microbrewery, just celebrated its first year in the beer business and has created quite a buzz. The founders include three USAA marketing department employees and a fulltime head brewer. Brewer Rob Landerman has been able to take some risks in making craft beer that will get the attention of craft beer seekers, but the regular offerings like Oatmeal Pale Ale, Mesquite Smoked Porter, and La Bestia Aimable caused the owners to lay out money for more equipment only a few months in to keep up with demand. While beer so far has been the bread and butter of the operation, diversification with small-batch bourbons — the first of which was released in November (see “Whiskey River,” page 64) — is meant to put the “brewstillery” in the black. Even in a mid-sized city like New Braunfels, entrepreneurs are going out on a limb with a brewpub and two to three microbreweries under construction in a town that already has one brewery. “It’s a risky industry. It’s very competitive,” said Jaime Martinez, a senior certified business advisor at the University of Texas at San Antonio’s Small Business Development Center. “I still like these kinds of industries, but it’s tough. They have to figure out what differentiates them from the competition.” Freetail’s Metzger said how big you start out is less important than being true to your plan. “You have to decide what is the je ne sais quoi of your brewery and stick with it. If you’re going to be a lager brewery, be a lager brewery. If you’re going to be a brewery that makes funky beers, stick with that.” Metzger said. “People are willing to give you time to grow into your britches. But make sure you’re well capitalized and don’t over-extend yourself or you’re going to have to compromise. You have to be true to your vision.” D

Blue Star Brewing Co. survives thanks to ‘mule-like’ stubbornness.

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DRINK 49

more in cozy seating areas that lead to a fire-heated back patio. 8134 Broadway, (210) 320-4091, rebarsatx.com.

Red Baron Lounge

Red Baron Lounge is a blissful sensorydeprivation castle, or drinker’s modern-day fort; the absence of natural light lends a Vegas-like perpetual-daylight feel. You can come in as early as 10:30 a.m. and drink until 2 a.m., never knowing what time it is or what you’re missing in the outside world. 914 Burr, (210) 826-6963.

Redland Roadhouse

This modernized saloon bills itself as a “come as you are party bar” and attracts cowboys and other types who enjoy getting “bucked up.” Pick a night when drinking and physical exertion (or exhibitionism) are on tap ― namely Saddle-Up Saturdays, when the mechanical bull kicks into high gear and DJ 2-Steppin’ spins country and rock all night. 19314 281 N, Ste 107, (210) 845-1077, redlandroadhouse.com.

The Reggae Bar

Cheap beer, Jamaican music videos, and a beachy vibe create an invitingly casual oasis on an impersonal strip of Austin Highway — one that turned into a microcosm of Jamaica in October of 2010. Host to the San Antonio Reggae Fest, the Reggae Bar imported such top-notch acts as Capleton, Romain Virgo, and Kulcha Knox for four days of island-style revelry. 2016 Austin Hwy, (210) 772-9891, myspace.com/revolucioncafe.

tial Texas watering hole. The tavern houses bikers, hippies, cowboys, college students, and 20-somethings who have grown tired of frequenting “cool” establishments, and patrons are treated to live music nearly every night of the week. 8894 FM 1102, Hunter, (512) 392-3132, rileystavern.com.

The Saint

A recent move down the Main Strip to take over the space previously inhabited by Woody’s hasn’t stolen the show (or the showgirls) from the Saint. Grittier than the Bonham or Heat — and often twice as loud, crowded, and crazy — this gayborhood anchor packs in one of the most diverse crowds in town for high-octane cocktails, top-notch drag shows, steamy strip-offs, and dirty dancing on two dance floors. 1430 N Main, (210) 225-7330, myspace.com/thesaintshowbar. The People’s Choice Award Winner at the 2009 Margarita Pour-Off, Salud knows its tequila and stocks bottles you’ve probably never seen before. With a cozy living room vibe that’s helped along by colorful local art decking the walls, this sofa-lined cantina is an underrated gem and a perfect spot to start the night off right with a refreshing organic cucumber margarita. 8123 Broadway, Ste D, (210) 320-6034.

Revolution Room

Sam’s Burger Joint

Riley’s Tavern

Riley’s, billing itself as “Texas’ first tavern after prohibition,” is the quintessen-

*Gabe sez Drink more Beer !!

2335 N.W. MILITARY HWY. AT LOCKHILL SELMA · (210) 348-1513 WWW.THIRSTYHORSE.NET

Saluté international bar

Situated in a strip center off West Avenue and Patricia, Retox packs in rockminded drinkers for long happy hours (2-9 p.m. every day) live music on Fridays and Saturdays (with $2.50 beer specials) and karaoke (with happy hour prices all day) on Sundays. 1031 Patricia, (210) 7752886, retoxbar.net. “One spot, five bars, two levels, pure indulgence” is the mantra at the cavernous Rev Room, an adult playground that’s serious about sports by day (onsite RevSPORTS opens at 4 p.m. during the week) and loud music by night. Happy hours (4-9 p.m. Monday-Friday) melt into live bands or DJs every night of the week ― even Sundays, when DJ Gibb’s Soul’d Out party promises $2.50 Shiners, Tecates, and Lone Stars, not to mention “any liquor” for a mere three bucks. 8123 Broadway, (210) 320-4567, revolutionroom.com.

Consumption of Alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over & over until someone punches you in the face.

Salud Tequila Bar

With a pink exterior and neon lights, Saluté — without a doubt the most fascinating time capsule on the St. Mary’s Strip — beckons. While its impeccably dressed patron saint, Esteban “Steve” Jordan (aka “El Parche”) rests in peace, the music venue he championed marches on. Live bands (including that of Jordan’s protégé Juanito Castillo) and DJs (such as Sexto Sol’s Plata, who invites you to BYOVinyl on Thursday nights) provide for a genre-blurring soundtrack you’ll only hear at Saluté. 2801 N St. Mary’s, (210) 732-5307.

Retox

WARNING:

A top-notch sound system is but one of the features that render Sam’s SA’s premiere venue for Americana, blues, soul, swing, and rockabilly. By day, burgers (including a locally created veggie option) and beer get served up no-nonsense style. But at night, Sam’s is all about music and booze and can easily accommodate wellbehaved seated shows and packed ragers alike. 330 E Grayson, (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com.

Shady Lady Saloon

Generous mixed drinks, pool tables, karaoke (Thursday-Saturday from 9:30 p.m.), wi-fi, horseshoes, and a “Shady Patio” are but a few of the charms to be found at this Southside roadhouse, which 61

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DRINK RISKY HOME BREWS One part perspiration, one part experimentation = beers that hit, miss, bewitch BY TRAVIS E. POLING

It’s not unusual for beginner home brewers to make a few mistakes even when playing it safe, but experienced brew-kettle commandos intentionally pushing the envelope have their own tales of woe and victory to share, too.

Pine Sol porter How to make a spruce beer in Texas when we’re so far away from a source for fresh spruce tips? Brewer Markus Haas and a brewing partner ordered up some liquid spruce essence and calculated how much would approximate the real thing. They overshot. “The first bottle tasted just like Pine-Sol,” Haas recalled. “And it still tasted that way even after a year.” Another experiment was a Christmas beer started with a strong Baltic porter as the base and then added nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger, and other spices. From the first taste, Haas says, “it was nothing but ginger. I just kind of gulped it down out of sense of responsibility to learn from one’s mistakes.” Over time, the beer began to improve and he slowed down consumption. The remaining bottles were enjoyed seven years later when they were declared perfectly aged.

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EVERY FRIDAY & SATURDAY! 58  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

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“I don’t think you have enough room on the page for the things that went horribly, horribly wrong,” says home brewer Raimey Roberts. There was the time he repeatedly warned his toddler daughter to stay away from the hot brew kettle and then preceded to open the spigot on his own foot. It was a teaching moment, he says. “I’m taking physical pain to show you what not to do.” An infusion of raspberry, hibiscus, and chicory in a quart of stout sounded like it would go well together but fell flat. “That’s a common theme,” he says, “either not enough to taste or too much to be good.” Roberts brews a lot of wheat beers, but isn’t a fan of German-style weizen beers, which use a yeast that imparts banana and clove-like flavors. But a home brew supply shop gave him a vial of weizen yeast for free because it was about to expire. The resulting dunkelweizen went on to win a category first place in the vaunted Dixie Cup Homebrew Competition in Houston. Unfortunately, he hadn’t had enough confidence in the beer to submit enough bottles to qualify for Best of Show judging or a national competition he

Photo illustration by Chuck Kerr

Serving San Antonio since 1972

qualified for. “That’s just the universe telling me not to be so down on my brews,” Roberts says.

Blue cheese Belgian-style Some home brewers make beer so far out of the box that disaster surely awaits. But Les Locke, who brews at his home in New Braunfels and assists at various commercial breweries for the experience, said he has been able to rescue even the oddest experiments. He’s waiting for graham cracker brown ale with honey and a Belgian-style lambic ale fermented with a prickly pear cactus tea to prove their worth, for instance. But a blue cheese milk stout made last year was probably the most daring and costly. Copious amounts of pricey blue cheese went into the boil and added a lot of fat to wort, which is the sweet, unfermented liquid. “That took a lot of straining,” because beer is a naturally fat-free delight. While some found it an acquired taste, Locke and this writer found it to be both delicious and impossible to spread on crackers.

Magical mushroom stout One local home brewer who asked not to be identified by name found the perfect accompaniment to a Pink Floyd laser light show in his home batch. Or did the beer cause the show? The brew was made with mushrooms picked at the height of their magical powers. The adventurous brewer couldn’t remember exactly how it tasted, only that it was definitely far out, man. D


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111 SOLEDAD, STE. 1310 SAN ANTONIO, TX 78205 60  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

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Silo Elevated Cuisine

Regarded by some as the Alamo Heights bar, Silo covers all the bases with specialty cocktails, import beer, fine wines by the glass, and (as the name suggests) upscale food, making its happy hour (4-9 p.m. daily) a fairly sophisticated slosh-fest. Live music in a variety of genres takes over both locations (the other being in Ventura Plaza at 434 N Loop 1604 W) on the weekends. 1133 Austin Hwy, (210) 824-8686, siloelevatedcuisine.com.

The Silver Dollar Saloon

Thankfully, the Silver Dollar hasn’t lost track of its original clientele: well dressed cowboys, line-dancing lesbians, off-duty drag queens, and admirers of any/all of the above. On any given night, visitors to the SD might happen upon a wet boxers contest, a retro dance night, or a talent show hosted by a towering tranny. 1812 N Main, (210) 227-2623, silverdollarsa.com.

Sir Winston’s Pub

Sir Winston’s fares well in a post-tobacco bar scene with a brand-new patio and continued excellence as an unpretentious neighborhood nightspot. Inside feels like your dad’s old basement game room, but with more TVs (and now with less smoke). 2522 Nacogdoches, (210) 829-5933.

SoHo Wine & Martini Bar

With a firm hold on Best Cocktails in SA (2011), SoHo puts a lot of thought into what they serve and how they serve it. The bar’s clubby atmosphere is helped along by deep red walls, stylish furniture, the former bank’s original 19th-century safe (doubling as an above-ground wine cellar), and a horseshoe bar that encourages long, conversation-rich happy hours (5-7 p.m. and 9-11 p.m. Monday-Friday). 214 W Crockett, (210) 444-1000, sohomartinibar.com.

Soluna

Soluna boasts some of the best margaritas and micheladas in the city. As for the food, Texas Monthly just named it one of the “50 Best

Mexican Restaurants” in the state. For the full experience, take a seat at the black-and-red tiled bar and order a Chispa (which means “match” in Spanish — trust us, just one of them is enough to light anybody up). 7959 Broadway, (210) 930-8070, solunasa.com.

South Town Tavern

Everybody really will know your name at this old-fashioned Tejano bar. Best use: unwinding after work with $1.75 longnecks (Tuesdays and Thursdays) or dancing to live music on Fridays. 1603 S Presa, (210) 429-4896, southtowntavern. com.

Sparky’s Pub

Ye olde tyme Gayrish pub your creepy uncle warned you about has finally materialized, replete with historic community photos (don’t leave without blowing an air kiss to the dearly departed goddess, Tandi Andrews), cocktails served in pint glasses, and a back patio straight out of West Hollywood. Winner of Best Gay Bar in our 2011 poll, Sparky’s is also the most straightfriendly gay bar in town. 1416 N Main, (210) 320-5111, sparkyspub. com.

Stroker’s Sports Bar

This unfussy Southside beer bar serves the best michelada nightcaps in town. Here, the unpredictable sounds of karaoke ring out against a mural backdrop of local pool legends. Mondays and Tuesdays pull in mainly locals, while weekends attract a younger crowd from Southtown and beyond. 703 Roosevelt, (210) 533-4549.

The Tap Exchange Alehouse & Grill

The friendly, well-informed staff at this casual, yet worldly beer garden in the Hill Country’s foothills serves 60-plus well-traveled brews (plus wine and champagne) and upscale pub food to accompany them. Live music, karaoke, pint nights, and other weekly specials make it well worth the drive. 22250 Bulverde Rd, (210) 396-7917, thetapexchange.com.

The Ten Eleven

This cozy, all-ages venue usually hosts shows of the various fist-swinging varieties: hardcore, punk, and other assorted noisemakers. But it’s also well equipped to 62

BEATING THE BALL JARS Glassware to bring out the best of your red, whites, and bubblies

Veronica Luna

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hosts a popular steak night ($11) on Thursdays starting at 7 p.m. 3603 S WW White Rd, (210) 3334224, theshadyladysaloon.com.

DRINK

BY RON BECHTOL

A

recent ad in the local daily featured the perfect holiday gift for your discerning oenophile friends: a set of Redneck Wine Glasses. The oxymoronic nature of the concept aside, no self-respecting redneck would be caught dead with his or her fist around a Ball canning jar perched atop a very clunky stem. Regardless of what was in the glass. At the other end of the spectrum, however, is the absurdity of the exquisite Riedel stem specially and individually designed for nearly every wine on the planet — and a few spirits to boot. The Riedel catalog begins with a paean from wine critic Robert Parker (“The effect of these glasses on fine wine is profound. I cannot emphasize enough what a difference they make”), then depicts nearly 100 unique shapes in several quality lines before arriving at decanters — of which there are 30. To be fair, there are some exceptionally beautiful stems, the voluptuous pinot noir (#444/7) among them. And in its Overture line, a machine-made “uncomplicated beginner’s series for customers who appreciate good, reasonably priced wine.” The company does admit that there are consumers out there who have neither the big bucks (say $125 for that hand-made Burgundy stem), the shelf space, nor the cleaning staff to support a collection of the good stuff — not to mention the platinum card required to collect wines worthy of the glassware. (It should be mentioned here that a glass specifically designed to emphasize the aroma of a particular wine and to deliver a taste

to a precise point on one’s tongue, can reveal a wine’s flaws just as well as it can emphasize its virtues.) So what’s a consumer who appreciates good, reasonably priced wine to do? There are often really good online glass sales at sites such as Crate & Barrel and CB2. But I like being able to lift and look at a glass before I buy it, and for that it’s necessary to hit the pavement. Your favorite specialty wine shop may be one source. Saglimbeni Fine Wines (638 W Rhapsody Dr, Ste 1), for example, does carry Riedel, but they also offer a line by the respected producer Spiegelau for $9.97 each (20 percent less on weekends). For someone starting more cautiously, though, I suggest World Market (742 NW Loop 410). Specifically, I recommend two $5.99 stems in the Connoisseur line, the chardonnay and the zinfandel. (There are others, such as shapes for Burgundy and pinot noir, but they begin to look like cartoon versions of Riedel — and if you’re going to spend the bucks on wines that merit this kind of glass, then Riedel it is.) A word of caution here: There were two slightly different shapes labeled zinfandel on the shelves. I picked the one that was slightly taller, then tested it with the 2007 Four Vines’ Sophisticate Zinfandel against a oneshape-allegedly-suits-all glass that’s my everyday stuff. The results were remarkable. The Four Vines is a huge wine, and with the ordinary glass, the nose was hot and jammy, and the taste, spread out over the entire mouth, was fruitbomb big and blowsy. But with the THE DRINK ISSUE

dedicated zin glass, the aromas were both concentrated and refined, and the taste, more specifically delivered to the tongue, seemed more focused and sophisticated — it became a different, more disciplined (and better) wine, in other words. The differences were less pronounced with the 2009 Drouhin Vaudon Chablis, but they were notable nonetheless. In the standard glass, aromas of mineral, citrus, and white flowers came through — not at all unpleasantly; in the chard stem aromas dissipated less quickly, and mint and citrus were emphasized over the floral aspects. Flavors of fresh fig and apple dominated in the standard glass — again, not at all unappealing. But in the dedicated glass the flavors seemed to become creamier (lemon curd came to mind) while minerality was emphasized. Without the control glass as a comparison, a typically buttery/oaky California chardonnay from Chalk Hill consumed later at a dinner was, I suspect, slightly tamed by this stemware — not a bad thing IMHO. And if more proof were needed that interest in wine-specific glassware is becoming mainstream, here it is: Target and Riedel have joined forces to market a line called Riedel Vivant (target.com/s/riedel). The Bordeaux and Burgundy glasses come in sets of two for $28.79. Pinot noir, champagne, generic red, and generic white stems come in sets of four for $38.29. They are lighter and more delicate than the World Market stems, but that’s as far as my investigation went. Got to be better than a Ball jar in any case. D

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Michael Barajas

61

host national touring acts like the Thermals, Awesome Color, and Japanther. Escape the sweat fumes on the back porch and enjoy the nearly vacant, small-town-Texas view of the San Antonio River, before the River Walk expansion kicks into high gear and the area becomes gentrified as hell. 1011 Ave B, (210) 320-9080, theteneleven.com.

The Ticket

This friendly sports bar in the heart of downtown keeps tourists, river rats, and locals happy with a fleet of hi-def screens and enthusiastically pro bartenders. The late-night menu (food till 2 a.m.!) is spare, but the wings are of the dryvarnish, super-tasty, and spicy variety — excellent with the wide range of beers and full-bar cocktails. 420 E Houston, (210) 222-9722, ticketsportspub.com.

The Thirsty Camel

There’s rarely a cover at this untapped Olmos Park den of electronic darkness, even on Electro Fridays

or The Dark Zone Saturdays, which feature DJ Hans 242 spinning EMB, goth, retro, and industrial, but also pulls in occasional live acts. 5307 McCullough, (210) 861-1952, thirstycamelbar.com.

Tucker’s Kozy Korner

Remodeled but not reinvented, Tucker’s Kozy Korner maintains a nostalgic atmosphere reminiscent of a bygone movie set. Established in 1948, Tucker’s claims to be the oldest African-American bar in the state. Their doors, however, are open to everyone. A young, eclectic crowd has been known to revel in the bar’s unassuming hipness, rendering Tucker’s one of SA’s coolest melting pots. A recent addition to Tucker’s weekly lineup is the return of Tuesday Night Jazz with Jim Cullum and Friends (7-10 p.m), and Cullum’s son Chris can be found slinging gourmet burgers in his Airstream van as Cullum’s Attaboy. 1338 E Houston, (210) 320-2192, tuckerskozykorner.com.

Vbar in the Hotel Valencia

A high-end hotel bar overlooking Houston Street and the River Walk with all the swank accoutrements, Vbar feels like a West Hollywood hangout, and you may even spot a local celebrity here. Check Hotel Valencia’s website for Vbar’s inventive happy hours mixing fashion and charity in big-city style. 150 E Houston, (210) 227-9700, hotelvalencia-riverwalk.com.

Vegas Bar

Vegas Bar is just like Las Vegas (the city) without the bright lights, gambling, showgirls, and — well, almost everything but the alcohol. But you can try your luck with mystery shots or the snazzy red pool tables. 8826 Huebner, (210) 691-5552, vegasbarsa.com.

VFW Post 76

This Victorian-style mansion on the San Antonio River is the oldest VFW post in Texas — a quietly

Tucker’s Tuesday night jazz with Jim Cullum.

71

NEVER A COVER 21 & UP

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$2.50 Wells and Domestic Bottles

THE DRINK ISSUE

MONDAY

4pm – 2am

TUES. - FRI. 2pm – 2am

SAT. - SUN. Noon – 2am

FRIDAY & SATURDAY Shot Specials Ask Bartender For Details

(210) 271-9494 302 E. Commerce (between presa & navarro) 62  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

OPEN Everyday


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THE DRINK ISSUE

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DRINK

Top: Mike Cameron at Rebecca Creek Distillery. Bottom: Ranger Creek’s distiller TJ Miller.

WHISKEY RIVER Area distilleries putting Texas flavors on the map BY SCOTT ANDREWS

W

64  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

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Top: Michael Barajas, Bottom: Scott Andrews

hen President Jimmy Carter made home brewing legal in 1978 the newly legitimated hobby spawned fledgling brewmasters across the country. Some got stars in their eyes, and the American micro-brewing industry was born. Inspired by the new brewers, the first craft distillers opened shop a dozen years later. The Texas trend didn’t begin until 1997, when San Antonio native Tito Beveridge initiated production at the Mockingbird Distillery in Austin, the first legal distillery in the state. Tito’s Handmade Vodka now competes with Dripping Springs and San Antonio’s Enchanted Rock and Cinco vodkas; Texas rum is made in San Leon, Austin, and Pflugerville. While whiskey was late to the party, two San Antonio distillers released new brands just last month. Ranger Creek Brewing & Distilling and Rebecca Creek Distillery share something in their names, but these hometown companies are radically different tributaries of the mighty whiskey river. Unlike commercial distilleries obsessed with consistency above all else, the Ranger Creek “brewstillery” brings a craft brewer’s experimental nature to their distilling venture. In November, Ranger Creek .36 (named after the gun favored by the Texas Rangers) was released — the first offering in their Small Caliber Series. Taking advantage of the hot days and warm nights that mature Texas whiskey much faster than in Kentucky or Scotland, Ranger Creek speeds the process even more by using five- and seven-gallon barrels that have a greater percentage of surface area than the standard 53-gallon cask, putting more wood flavoring and coloring agents in contact with the still’s product, called white dog. Vatted from barrels aged only seven

to 11 months, the result is remarkable — offering a complex profile favoring caramel and vanilla notes with hints of black cherry in the finish. The .36 is sour mashed and distilled twice. But while Ranger Creek’s large-barrel bourbon ages for a few years, they’re experimenting with tripledistillation, too, and with different char-levels in barrels they are trying out, sourced from three different cooperages. “Some people just pick a barrel and go with it, even though it imparts 70 to 80 percent of the flavor.” said Ranger Creek co-owner and distiller TJ Miller. “We use the barrel as an ingredient.” Rebecca Creek is aging a single malt whiskey for a planned June 2012 release. In the meantime, they’re producing Enchanted Rock Vodka with a 700 gallon still, the largest that Christian Karl, the German manufacturer, has ever sent to North America. Last month the distillery added Rebecca Creek Fine Texas Spirit Whiskey to their line. They intend to need that high-capacity still (and their in-house bottling line); both products are targeted for popular consumption, and seem to be on their way. “Our vodka is the fastest-growing new liquor brand in Texas,” said Rebecca Creek co-owner Mike Cameron. He and Steve Ison, Rebecca Creek’s other owner, know what they want for their whiskey, too. “The number one selling whiskey in Texas is Crown Royal,” says Cameron. “Grabbing the bottle and going to the hunting-lease, or picking up some Crown for Christmas, is very typical.” The spirit whiskey is a proprietary blend that, claims Cameron, “has an eight-year old bourbon in it.” This ultra-smooth whiskey offers a new choice for the Canadian blend drinker. Garrison Brothers opened the 67


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Always Rock Responsibly. © 2011 Rebecca Creek Distillery, LLC

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texasvodka.com rebeccacreekwhiskey.com


Scott Andrews

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LIVE MUSIC/SPECIALTY BEER/NIGHTLY EVENTS 64

first legal Texas whiskey dis- Balcones’ Rumble, pear while fermenting the tillery in 2007 on a ranch Texas Single Malt Whis- mash, which is made from near Hye, a tiny spot between key, Brimstone, Baby Scottish Golden Promise barFredericksburg and Johnson Blue, and True Blue. ley. Balcones whiskies also City. They released their first include True Blue, a caskbatch of Garrison Brothers Straight Texas strength version of the corn whiskey, and Bourbon Whiskey last year — a full-bodBrimstone, a smoky whiskey made with ied, oaky, all-organic, all-Texas whiskey. scrub oak. Balcones also distills Rumble, Garrison grows their own soft red winter reminiscent of Armagnac and grappa, wheat on 65 acres of the Blanco County the distinct spirit is made from Texas ranch, and they buy their corn from farms wildflower honey, mission figs, and Turin Dalhart and Muleshoe up on the Panbinado sugar from Sugar Land. All their handle. Part of what goes into the bottle spirits are made in Balcones’ handmade comes from the sky — the distillery has a still, constructed by founder and head dis65,000-gallon catchment system to coltiller Chip Tate (the former assistant dean lect rainwater. (“It got scary a month ago,” at Baylor University has a background said proprietor Dan Garrison, “because in space engineering). “We started on a we hadn’t had rain for 18 months.”) shoestring,” Germer, Balcones’ business Garrison released their fourth batch manager recalls. “When we sat down and recently when the rains returned. Like the designed everything on a napkin, I asked other distilleries, they do weekly tours, Chip, ‘What do you need?’ And he said, ‘a and the trip is worth the drive, Garrison tig welder and a whole lot of copper.’ He says. “The entire ranch smells like corngrew up in a nuclear lab with his dad.” bread cooking all the time, its quite the Though Balcones’ and Ranger Creek’s tactile experience.” free-form style contrasts with the firm, Waco’s Balcones Distillery has wowed measured approach taken by Rebecca the experts with four whiskies, and has Creek and Garrison Brothers, the new been featured in Playboy, Saveur, and Texas whiskey industry is by necessity an Smithsonian Magazine. experiment — the legendary corn whisTheir nutty Baby Blue Corn Whiskey, key that defined the frontier is long gone. made from Hopi heritage cornmeal, took “We see our relationship with Balcones Double Gold awards at the 2010 San Franand Garrison as making Texas whiskey, cisco International World Spirits Competithough we are all doing something differtion. Their newest project, Balcones Single ent,” said Ranger Creek co-owner Mark Malt Whiskey, entered stores in September McDavid. “No one knows what Texas and has already fared well with the critics. whiskey tastes like. We’re going to have “We were trying to decide if it was ready this conversation with consumers and all to release,” Balcones co-owner Stephen figure it out together.” D Germer said. “Just in fun, we sent a bottle to the New York World Spirits CompetiTexas whiskies are available at tion. A few months later they called back Spec’s, Twin Liquors, selected Gabriel’s and said, ‘You’ve won a Double Gold and and independent liquor stores, and can Best in Show for the whole competition.’ be tasted at fine drinking establishments Well, I guess it’s ready.” including the Esquire Tavern, BohanThe Single Malt gets its balanced flaans, and the JW Marriott Hill Country. vor profile from the different yeasts that introduce hints of banana, apricot, and sandrews@sacurrent.com

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DRINK

Chuck Kerr

Colin Wells, co-owner of the Ten Eleven and host of its monthly Brewery Tours.

BEER VIBES

Bands are not the only thing on tour at Ten Eleven

Ten Eleven is well known for putting on some of the best indie/ hardcore/unclassifiable shows in SA, but lately the Ave. B venue has been courting a different crowd: beer aficionados. In October, co-owner Colin Wells kicked off the first 1011 Brewery Tour, featuring a one-night-only hosting of Saint Arnold Brewing Company’s entire lineup. The next month, he repeated the trick again with the full selection of Real Ale brews. And on December 21 Wells is The 1011 Brewery Tour hosting Santa Fe Brewing Company. Presents: Santa Fe “I like going to different brewery Brewing Company tours across the state, and whenever Free I’m in another state I try to tour a 9pm brewery,” Wells said. “You can go to Wed, Dec 21 any bar here in town and they’ll have Ten Eleven one or two different varieties of beer 1011 Ave B that a brewery makes, but we wanted (210) 320-9080 to focus on one brewery each month theteneleven.com and bring in their whole lineup.” Ten Eleven was already beer-snob friendly (they don’t carry Miller Lite, Bud, or Bud Light), but Wells is going the extra mile to get new, interesting brews into the hands of SA music fans and beer lovers in general. The idea seems to be catching on. “I’ve been trying to push it to beer clubs here in San Antonio,” Wells said. “One of the coolest things that’s happened so far is that, a lot of the times, the people who come down aren’t even people who I normally see here when we’re a venue. I’ve actually seen those people come back down since then just for shows.”

— CHUCK KERR

To get Facebook invites to the Ten Eleven’s monthly Brewery Tours, “like” their page at facebook.com/theteneleven.

SURVIVOR SONG BY ENRIQUE LOPETEGUI In the bad ol’ days, the frontman for the Hickoids knew how to kick ’em back. He used to drink stuff that wasn’t even invented yet. But he’s been sober for more than nine years now, and besides his singing duties he’s also one of the most active — and professional — music promoters in town. The best part is that the clean lifestyle hasn’t killed his sense of humor. Smith agreed to take a few minutes away

from prepping Hairy Chafin’ Ape Suit, the new Hickoids album scheduled for a 2012 release, to provide a glimpse of his life on the other side. What’s the best drink you ever had at a movie or concert? They don’t have it at the concession stand. I’m gonna go up the street and see if they have it there. Best and worst drinking games. Real alcoholics don’t play drinking games. They play games so they can keep drinking.

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Best drinking song? “Hangover Tavern,” from Hank Thompson’s A Six Pack To Go.

a cabin and decides to live in it doesn’t mean he never wants to go outside and look at the wildlife.

Best drinking movie. Anti: The Lost Weekend. Pro: Barfly.

Best alcohol alternatives. Sex. Sex.

“Alcohol is good for creativity.” True or false? True. It forces one to hone his or her skills as a prevaricator. How can you be around bars and drinkers after all you’ve been through? Just because a man builds

Best case for sobriety. If you drink like I did, breathing. If you could re-write an alcoholrelated song, which one would you choose? George Jones’ “If Drinkin’ Don’t Kill Me.” I’d change the chorus to “If drinkin’ don’t kill me, kill me.” D

Courtesy photo

SA punk pioneer Jeff Smith on the sober life


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Veronica Luna

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awesome architectural study that houses ghosts, regulars, and anyone wise enough to know a bucket of beer and a park bench are viable answers to many of life’s smaller problems. 10 10th St, (210) 2234581, vfwpost76.org.

Waldo’s Night Club

While the staff appears to be getting younger and cuter, 30-plus-year-old Waldo’s preserves the charm of the ’70s fern bar, complete with red carpet and faux Tiffany lamps. Although its namesake football star — a real ladies’ man — passed away in 2009, Waldo’s ephemera-filled walls read like a study in studliness. The regulars take to the dance floor weekend nights, serenaded by a cruise-ship-worthy cover band. 14532 Brook Hollow, (210) 494-4505.

Happy hour includes $2 domestics, $3 imports, $2.50 wells, and nightly specials. 10141 Wurzbach, (210) 877-2100, wurzbachicehouse.com.

Wxyz Bar

This multi-faceted hotel bar offers approachable chic in Park North. Old-school games, arty coffee table books, a poolside fire pit, billiards, and imaginative drink options make for a perfectly mixed happy hour or nightcap. Aloft Hotel, 838 NW Loop 410, (210) 541-8881.

Zinc Champagne & Wine Bar

Whether chilling on the patio or reveling in the bar’s dim glow, you’re likely to feel like you’ve crashed an unpredictable Russian house party on any given night at Web House. 517 E Woodlawn, (210) 320-4280.

When the dinner shift winds down, servers from all over SA descend upon Zinc to unwind with good company in stylish surroundings. Aside from boasting SA’s finest late-night food-and-wine menu, Zinc does “downtown” better than anywhere else (without trying too hard), and the patio in summer is one of the area’s best-kept secrets. Champagne and pizza at 11 p.m.? We’ll meet you there. 207 N Presa, (210) 224-2900, zincwine.com.

White Rabbit

Zïquid Lounge

Web House Café and Bar

The Jefferson Airplane song of the same name might fool you into thinking this place is a hippie joint, but usually what you’ll find waiting down this rabbit hole is a big old-fashioned mosh pit. Bands compete on the indoor and outdoor stages to see whose music is louder and more violent, so odds are you won’t even hear what that damn dormouse said. But most of the pitting is admirably polite, and the pizza place next door is a viable option should all the shoving give you an urge to feed your head. 2410 N St. Mary’s, (210) 737-2221, sawhiterabbit.com.

Wurzbach Ice House

You know that Roman statue of Romulus and Remus drinking from the wolf’s teats? Imagine the teats have tap handles.

Handsome lounge with good drink specials and “late-night sushi” ensure an attractive and well-dressed crowd. Perfect for a night out with friends, first date, singles hot spot, but count on yelling over the band or not saying much, sexily. 18730 Stone Oak Pkwy, Ste 108, (210) 495-1234, ziquidlounge.com.

Zombies

This neighborhood hangout for the rock and metal set hosts live music by some of the most creatively named bands around on weekends (Power Crime Pussy, Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles, etc.) and encourages all to “Eat Flesh” on Meat and Metal Mondays. 4202 Thousand Oaks, (210) 281-8306, zombiesliveinsa.com. THE DRINK ISSUE

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My favorite alcohol-fueled moments in cinema BY ENRIQUE LOPETEGUI From Pathés’ anti-drinking documentary Les victimes de l’alcoolisme (1902) to Sideways (2004) and beyond, the devil’s drink has been a frequent guest on the big screen with actors delivering some of the medium’s most memorable lines (and gags) when a bottle was nearby.

BEST ALCOHOL GAG: ‘The Idle Class’ (1921) “I will occupy the other room until you stop drinking,” reads the note signed by Edna (Edna Purviance), the tortured wife in Charlie Chaplin’s classic short. After reading the note, Chaplin — playing the tramp as alcoholic husband — looks at a portrait of his wife, starts weeping, and turns his back to the camera as his crying apparently becomes inconsolable. But when he turns back to face the camera we meet the husband shaking not from grief but from mixing himself a drink.

BEST UNSOLVED VOMIT: ‘This Is Spinal Tap’ (1984)

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‘YOU CAN’T REALLY DUST FOR VOMIT’

On the death of former drummer Stumpy Joe: Derek Smalls: “The official explanation is that he choked on vomit.” Nigel Tufnel: “It was actually someone else’s vomit.” DS: “They can’t prove whose vomit it was. They don’t have facilities in Scotland Yard.” NT: “You can’t really dust for vomit.”

MOST ACCURATE E.T.A.: ‘Leaving Las Vegas’ (1995) Ben: “I came here to drink myself to death.” Sera: “How long will it take you?” Ben: “I’d say about three to four weeks.”

BEST TOAST WHILE FALLING OFF THE WAGON: ‘The Shining’ (1980) Jack Torrance: “Here’s to five miserable months on the wagon and all the irreparable harm it has caused me.”

BEST DISCRIMINATORY MOMENT: ‘Sideways’ (2004) Miles Raymond: “If anyone orders Merlot, I’m leaving. I am not drinking any fucking Merlot!”

BEST ALCOHOL TOLERANCE: ‘Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?’ (1966) Martha: “Look, sweetheart, I can drink you under any goddamn table you want, so don’t worry about me.”

Chaplin in The Idle Class.

BEST INDICATION YOU SHOULD NOT DATE THAT GUY: ‘The Lost Weekend’ (1945) Don Birnam: What kind of party did you say that was? Helen St. James: A cocktail party. DB: In that case, I’ll join you.

BEST CASE FOR DRINKING: ‘The Lost Weekend’ (1945) Don Birnam: “It shrinks my liver, doesn’t it, Nat? It pickles my kidneys, yeah. But what it does to the mind? It tosses the sandbags overboard so the balloon can soar. Suddenly I’m above the ordinary. I’m competent. I’m walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. I’m one of the great ones. I’m Michelangelo, molding the beard of Moses. I’m Van Gogh painting pure sunlight. I’m Horowitz, playing the Emperor Concerto. I’m John Barrymore before movies got him by the throat. I’m Jesse James and his two brothers, all three of them. I’m W. Shakespeare. And out there it’s not Third Avenue any longer, it’s the Nile. Nat, it’s the Nile and down it moves the barge of Cleopatra.”

BEST CASE FOR NOT DRINKING: ‘Leaving Las Vegas’ (1995) Ben: “I don’t know if my wife left me because of my drinking, or I started drinking because my wife left me.”

BEST CASE FOR DRINKING # 2: ‘Barfly’ (1987) Tully: Why don’t you stop drinking? Anybody can be a drunk. Henry: Anybody can be a non-drunk. It takes a special talent to be a drunk. It takes endurance. Endurance is more important than truth.

Best Game To Play While Enduring a Bad Movie: “Canta Con Nada” (Sing With Nothing) “I used to play this game in Brazil. We would sing old classic Spanish and Brazilian songs at the beach with a drink. When we got the song wrong or messed up, we would take a drink and take a piece of clothing off as well,” said Alejandra Roma, temptress and editor of Sucio Magazine. “Of course, you don’t need a beach for this.” Try Roma’s formula while enduring the new Twilight offering. Anything that sparkles or bleeds: drink! D eloptegui@sacurrent.com


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EXPOSURE FOR VENUES. REACH YOUR TARGET. GET NOTICED.

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CALENDAR

CURRENT | CALENDAR | by Bryan Rindfuss

DECEMBER 14-20, 2011

Our full calendar listings are online only this week. What better time to try out our new and improved calendar widget? Whatever corner of the city you end up exploring this week, we can help you get there a little bit easier. Only at sacurrent.com.

Max Baca & Flaco Jiménez

MUSIC Two of the greatest living legends of Tex Mex/conjunto music will be joining forces — again — for Saluté’s annual holiday show. Los Texmaniacs leader Max Baca (bajo sexto) and accordion hero Flaco Jiménez (Texas Tornados) have six Grammys between them (five for Flaco alone), and for Baca this is more than just a show. “He’s my mentor, and I always enjoy playing with him,” said Baca, who met and started playing with Flaco at an early age. “He has the key to the soul of conjunto music.” We wish we could tell you the exact lineup for this show, but the show was put together on short notice and all we know (including Baca and Flaco) is that some of the Texmaniacs and special guests will be part of the concert, which finds both men coming off fresh triumphs: Baca’s latest (the Smithsonianreleased Borders y Bailes) won a Grammy for Best Tejano Album, and Flaco is just back from touring the world with the Tornados behind their own comeback album, ¡Está Bueno! $10, 10pm, Saluté International Bar, 2801 N St. Marys, (210) 732-5307. —Enrique Lopetegui

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We All Want To Change The World PERFORMANCE This Saturday Guadalupe Cultural Art Center presents “We All Want To Change The World,” a performance filled with music, film, and movement written and performed by the students of the Teen Arts Puentes Project. The celebration promotes social change through nonviolence as it explores the media’s role in five decades of social justice movements, from labor organizing to the civil rights movement; it also touches on women’s rights, the fight for the recognition of lesbian, gay, and transgendered people, and the voices of the 99 percent today. The

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Courtesy photos

Puentes Project is a bridge to empowerment that makes individual and group art works democratically, allowing teens to explore and excel in the worlds of theater, visual art, poetry, music, film, and video. $5, 6pm, Guadalupe Theater, 1301 Guadalupe, (210) 271-3151, guadalupeculturalarts.org. — Scott Andrews

Not So Silent Night thu

MUSIC If you’re past a certain age, you probably wouldn’t care to spend a “Not So Silent Night” with Houstonbased post-grunge band Blue October (who’ve opened for the Rolling Stones and appeared on Late Night with Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Kimmel Live!), Geneva, NY’s raprocking Gym Class Heroes (who exploded in ’07, winning Best New Artist at the MTV Video Music Awards and Best Rap Group at the Hip Hop Nation Awards), Miami-based producer/ singer-songwriter/recording artist Jason Derülo (he’s “Ridin’ Solo”), British entrepreneur/producer/rapper Taio Cruz (whose collaboration with Ke$ha and Fabolous “Dirty Picture” could be described as a sexting anthem), or synthpop party band Cobra Starship (below, who’ve taken a mainstream pop route since finding success aboard the Snakes on a Plane soundtrack). But a certain teen or tween in your life just might. So get ‘em while they’re hot, Santa. Presented by Mix 96.1 FM. $30; 7pm; Bud Light Courtyard, AT&T Center, One AT&T Center, (800) 7453000, attcenter.com.

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Troy Wise

Naughty List 3

BURLESQUE Whether you’ve been naughty or nice, Stars and Garters Burlesque’s third-annual holiday extravaganza promises to heat you up this holiday season with titillating performances by troupe members Suki Jones, Miss Black Orchid, Foxxy Blue Orchid, Miss-Chevious, Lucky Strike, and special guests Stephan and Japer St. James. Table seating: $26 (includes an “up close and personal seat,” a post-show meetand-greet, and a holiday gift pack; $VIP: $18 (includes priority entry and meet-and-greet); general admission: $13; 8-11pm; The Sterling Houston Theater at Jump-Start, 108 Blue Star, (210) 227-5867, starsandgartersburlesque.com.

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San Antonio Reggae Festival sat-sun

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MUSIC Last year the San Antonio Reggae Festival transformed the Reggae Bar and its untapped surrounding THE DRINK ISSUE

area into a microcosm of island life that burned the midnight oil with an impressive roster of local and touring talent. This year, the fest moves from Austin Highway to El Paso Street to stage a similar takeover of Café Revolucion. Refreshingly, the genre is open to interpretation — evidenced by the appearance of accordion-powered “punkrawky-roll” outfit Piñata Protest on Sunday’s bill. While Jamaican dancehall superstars Andrew & Wada Blood (sons of Junior “One Blood” Reid) are Saturday’s official headliners, El Paso’s Radio La Chusma put on a great show and shouldn’t be missed. You may have to hang for a while to figure out the sequence of bands (which includes One Destiny, Ashes of Babylon, Carlton Pride and Zion, The Bad Chords, River City-Allstars, Henry Turner and Flavor, Ras Wayne Vicks, and Bandulus on Saturday and headliners Fortunate Youth with support from Piñata Protest, Oi Dollz, Chicken S3x, Spies Like Us, DJ Nandez, Ugly Lion, and Idiginis on Sunday), but there’ll be plenty of cultural vendors, world food booths, kid-friendly activities, drum circles, dancing, and (most importantly) beer to keep you entertained in the downtime. Per day: $15 in advance from sanantonioreggae.com; $20 at the gate; noon11pm Saturday; noon-10pm Sunday; Café Revolucion, 527 El Paso, sanantonioreggae.com.

Watchers

ART Challenging angels and how they’re historically represented in art, local painter Steven DaLuz presents “Watchers,” an exhibition that in effect yanks them from the skies and sanctuaries to present them as relatable, imperfect beings — wounded from battle, verging on sexualized, and anything but religious. At the reception: an art talk with DaLuz at 7:30 p.m., live music by harpist Stephanie Nash, plus wine and martinis. Free; 6-9pm; AnArte Gallery, 7959 Broadway, Ste 404, (210) 826-5674, anartegallery09.com. On view through December 31.

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CURRENT | CALENDAR | music

, C I CRIT S

PI CK

Wednesday, December 14

CONCERTS An Evening with Michael Martin Murphey Floore’s Country Store, 7pm Blessthefall, The Word Alive, Motionless in White, Chunk! No, Caption Chunk, Tonight Alive White Rabbit Full of Hell, Heartless, Illustrations, Botfly, Colonia The Korova, 9pm Hurt The Korova, 8pm Ray Benson Nine-time Grammy winner and Asleep at the Wheel founder/frontman Ray Benson plays an acoustic show at Sam’s. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8:30pm

Courtesy photo

Ray Benson

Frontman Ray Benson helped launch Asleep at the Wheel four decades ago. They were buoyed by the early support of fellow musicians/fans Willie Nelson, Commander Cody, and Van Morrison. They settled in Austin at Nelson’s bequest shortly after their ’73 debut, Comin’ Right At Ya, and the rest is history. Not only have they become a Texas institution and single-handedly kept the spirit of Western Swing alive, but they’ve achieved widespread success and acclaim. They’ve released more than 20 studio albums claiming nine Grammys. All but one of those were secured from ’87-’00 when the band was at its commercial peak. The new millennium was spent on anything but a traditional set of Asleep at the Wheel originals. There was a concept album about the Alamo, tribute (to Bob Wills), live, cover, and even Christmas albums, when not backing other artists (Willie Nelson, Texas Playboy Leon Rausch). It’s hardly a complaint. They always manufacture more than enough energy to power their time machine and keep everyone inside happy. Benson’s released but a single solo disc, 2003’s Beyond Time, a jazzy, big band, and pop departure for the Wheel brought off beautifully by Benson’s sterling pipes. $15-$18, 8:30pm, Sam’s Burger Joint, 330 E Grayson, (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com. — Chris Parker

wed

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76  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

THE DRINK ISSUE

CLUBS/VENUES Bitter Karaoke (Karaoke) Alibi’s, 10pm-2am Border Palace featuring Valerie Castillo & Jai Lopez (Latin) Luna Fine Music Club, 9:30pm DJ Doc J (DJ) Tucker’s Kozy Korner, 9pm Double Dee’s Rockin Karaoke (Karaoke) Martini Ranch, 10pm Drive (Rock/Pop) Sherlock’s Baker St. Pub, 9pm Jamrock & DJ Dish.1 (DJ) The Reggae Bar, 4pm-2am Jim Issacks & Miles Taylor (Acoustic) Specht’s Store, 6:30pm John Magaldi & The Prime Time Orchestra (Jazz) The Cove, 8pm Karaoke Wednesdays (Karaoke) Zombies, 9pm-2am Laura Marie (Acoustic) Candlelight Coffeehouse & Wine Bar, 8pm The Georges (Rock/Pop) Gruene Hall, 6-10pm The Marco Cholo Jazz Quintet (Jazz) Saluté International Bar, 9:45pm

Thursday, December 15

CONCERTS Black Magic and the Full Exposé, Jasper’s Cast, The Lost Project The Ten Eleven, 8pm Bleeding Money & Murrain Zombies, 8pm Grady Drugg The Phoenix Saloon, 5pm Green Tweed Tycoon Flats, 8pm

Hawkboy, Ocean Is Theory, Marksmen Jack’s Bar, 8pm Michael Burks Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm-midnight Mix 96.1 Presents “Not So Silent Night” featuring Blue October, Cobra Starship, Jason Derulo, Tiao Cruz, & Gym Class Heroes AT&T Center Signal Fist CD Release Hot Tin Roof, 8pm-midnight Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers & Jon McLaughlin White Rabbit, 8pm CLUBS/VENUES Armando Martinez (Latin) La Margarita, 6-8pm Azul (Latin) Paloma Blanca, 6:30-9:30pm B.Y.O.Vinyl with Plata (DJ) Saluté International Bar, 10pm Bryan Montoya (Acoustic) Martini Ranch, 10pm Carlton Pride & Mighty Zion (Reggae) Stonewerks Big Rock Grille at the Rim, 9pm Celtic Jam (Jam session) Olmos Bharmacy, 7pm DJ Big Shawn (DJ) Tucker’s Kozy Korner, 9pm Ezzencia Musical Band (Latin) Chacho’s, 8pm-midnight Final Call Reggae Thursdays with Ras G (DJ) On The Half Shell Oyster Bar, 9pm Flashback (Rock/Pop) Sherlock’s Baker St. Pub, 9pm Halfway Legal (Rock/Pop) The Falls, 10pm Karaoke Thursday (Karaoke) Midnight Rodeo, 9pmmidnight Karaoke with DJ Fred (Karaoke) Lion & Rose (Loop 410), 10pm-1am King William Jazz Collective Holiday Show (Jazz) Carmens de la Calle Café, 8:30pm ‘Lectro Club (DJ) The Korova, 9pm Nick Lawrence Band (Country) The Stockyards Saloon, 4pm Rob Bernal and a “Mirage Band” (Lounge) Raffles, 7-10pm Robyn Ludwick (Rock/Pop) Gruene Hall, 6-10pm Sumofist (Rock/Pop) Tonic, 9pm VJ Vinny (DJ) Retox, 8pm-2am VJ Vision (DJ) The Falls, 10pm-2am

MUSIC, 78 ►


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THE DRINK ISSUE

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CURRENT | CALENDAR | where it’s at/music 502 Bar 502 Embassy Oaks, (210) 257-8125 Alibi’s 1141 E Commerce, (210) 225-5552 AT&T Center One AT&T Center, attcenter.com Arneson River Theater 418 Villita, lavillita.comarneson Aztec on the River 201 E Commerce, (210) 212-7638 Azuca Bar Latino 713 S Alamo, (210) 225-5550, azuca.net Barriba Cantina 111 W Crockett, (210) 229-1941 Blue Star Brewing Company 1414 S Alamo, (210) 212-5506 Boneshakers Bicycle Pub 116 W Mitchell, (210) 269-5119 Boozehounds 8531 Perrin Beitel Brooks Pub 3354 Lasses, (210) 333-6992 Cafe Revolucion 527 El Paso, sanantonioreggae.com Caliente Harley-Davidson 7230 NW Loop 410 Candlelight Coffeehouse & Wine Bar 3011 N St. Mary’s Carmens de la Calle Café 720 E Mistletoe, (210) 737-8272 Chacho’s 7870 Callaghan, (210) 366-2023 Chacho’s & Chalucci’s 8614 Perrin-Beitel, (210) 892-1400 Charlie Brown’s 11888 Starcrest, (210) 496-7092 Cowboys Dancehall 3030 NE Loop 410, (210) 646-9378 Eden Patio & Bar 21003 Encino Commons, (210) 479-5800 Edgewood Theatre of the Performing Arts 402 Lance St Fiasco Cocktails 2250 Thousand Oaks, (210) 490-2651 Firehouse Pub & Grill 5380 Walzem, (210) 946-9600 First United Methodist Church 205 James, Boerne Floore’s Country Store 14464 Bandera, Helotes Forest Hills Branch Library 5245 Ingram, (210) 431-2544 G.I.G. on the Strip 2803 N St. Mary’s Gruene Hall 1281 Gruene, New Braunfels, (830) 606-1281 Guadalupe Theater 1301 Guadalupe, (210) 271-3151 Harleston’s Bar & Grill 166 N Loop 1604 E, (210) 852-5755 Hot Tin Roof 7710 IH-10 W., (210) 657-8000 Hotel Havana 1015 Navarro, (210) 222-2008 Jack’s Bar 3030 Thousand Oaks, (210) 494-2309 Josephine Theatre 339 W Josephine, (210) 734-4646 Kirby’s Steakhouse 123 N Loop 1604 E, (210) 404-2221 Laurel Heights United Methodist Church 227 W Woodlawn Legends Sports Bar 1305 SW Loop 410, (210) 674-0627 Limelight Music + Drinks 2718 N St. Mary’s Lion & Rose (Loop 410) 842 NW Loop 410, (210) 798-4154 Luckenbach Dance Hall 412 Town Loop, Luckenbach Luna Fine Music Club 6740 San Pedro, (210) 804-2433 Main Street 13477 Wetmore, (210) 490-3038 Make My Day Lounge 12114 Nacogdoches, (210) 655-6367 Martini Ranch 4904 West Avenue, (210) 341-1717 Matamoros Restaurant y Cantina 12844 I-10 W

McFinnigan’s Pub 7210 Blanco, (210) 314-4194 Midnight Rodeo 12260 Nacogdoches, (210) 655-0040 Museo Alameda 101 S Santa Rosa, (210) 299-4300 Nightrocker Live 605 San Pedro, (210) 265-3573 Olmos Bharmacy 3902 McCullough, (210) 822-1188 On The Half Shell Oyster Bar 202 Navarro, (210) 222-2171 Paloma Blanca 5800 Broadway, (210) 822-6151 Raffles 1039 NE Loop 410, (210) 826-7118 Rebar 8134 Broadway, (210) 320-4091, rebarsatx.com Retox 1031 Patricia, (210) 775-2886 Roxy Sports Bar 3249 Wurzbach, (210) 521-0410 Roxy Sports Bar (1604 & Kitty Hawk) 1200 E 1604 N Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse (Downtown) 1170 E Commerce Saluté International Bar 2801 N St. Mary’s, (210) 732-5307 Sam’s Burger Joint 330 E Grayson, (210) 223-2830 Sherlock’s Baker St. Pub 16620 U.S. Hwy. 281 N Silo 1133 Austin Hwy., (210) 824-8686 Specht’s Store 112 Specht, (830) 980-7121 Speedway Sports Bar #1 8811 Grissom, (210) 509-8313 St. John’s Lutheran Church 502 E Nueva St. Luke’s Episcopal Church 15 St. Luke’s, (210) 826.0664 Stonewerks Big Rock Grille at the Rim 5807 Worth Pkwy. Texas Music Theater 120 E San Antonio, San Marcos Texas Spirits Saloon 3940 FM 471 N, Castroville The Cave Without a Name 325 Kreutzberg, Boerne The Cove 606 W Cypress, (210) 227-2683, thecove.us The Falls 226 W Bitters, (210) 490-5553 The Korova 107 E Martin, (210) 995-7229 The Majestic Theatre 224 E Houston, (210) 226-3333 The Mariachi Bar at Mi Tierra 218 Produce Row The Mix 2423 N St Marys, (210) 735-1313 The Phoenix Saloon 193 W. San Antonio, New Braunfels The Raven Hookah Lounge 1255 SW Loop 410 The Reggae Bar 2016 Austin Hwy., (210) 772-9891 The Stockyards Saloon 10619 Westover Hills The Ten Eleven 1011 Avenue B, theteneleven.com The Trap 4711 Pecan Valley, (210) 533-3060 Tonic 5500 Babcock, (210) 877-5858, tonicthebar.com Tripoint 3233 N St. Marys St, (210) 733-6201 Tripp’s Humor Bar 210 E Aviation, Universal City Tucker’s Kozy Korner 1338 E Houston, (210) 320-2192 Tycoon Flats 2926 N St. Mary’s, (210) 320-0819 UTSA’s Buena Vista Theater 501 W César Chávez White Rabbit 2410 N St. Mary’s, (210) 737-2221 Zombies 4202 Thousand Oaks, zombiesliveinsa.com

◄ MUSIC, 76

Friday, December 16

CONCERTS Alpha Rev Jack’s Bar, 8pm Charlie Robison Floore’s Country Store, 9pm Dog Men Poets & Transistordale The Mix, 9:30pm Dream Thieves, The Vanity Press, The Saturday Night Satellites Iowa City-based Dream Thieves are on tour in support of their debut album, Ocean Spell. Boneshakers Bicycle Pub, 9pm Family Force 5 Christmas Pageant with Hawk Nelson & Manafest Tripoint, 7pm Flesh Electric, Sight for Sore Eyes, Morningstar 502 Bar, 8pm Jerry Jeff Walker Gruene Hall, 9pm Pee Wee Moore & The Lavens The Cove, 5pm PM Soul Luna Fine Music Club, 9pm Ruben V Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm The Beaumonts & Joel Hofmann Band The Phoenix Saloon, 8:30pm The Randy Rogers Band Cowboys Dancehall, 7pm Whiskey Bliss & La Chela’s Fire Show Tonic, 9pm CLUBS/VENUES 3 Man Front (Rock/Pop) Boozehounds, 9pm Albert & Extasy (Latin) Matamoros Restaurant y Cantina, 10pm-1am Beverly Houston & Breezin’ (Jazz) Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse (Downtown), 8pm Clint Taft & the Buck Wild Band (Country) The Stockyards Saloon, 9pm Dead Ringer (Rock/Pop) Silo, 10pm Delta House (Rock/Pop) Stonewerks Big Rock Grille at the Rim, 9pm Deluxe Fridays with DJ Josh Stone (DJ) Alibi’s, 10pm-2am Doug Davis Band (Country) Luckenbach Dance Hall, 8pm DV8 (Rock/Pop) Speedway Sports Bar #1, 9pm

78  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

THE DRINK ISSUE

Eddie & The Boozers (Rock/Pop) Main Street, 9pm Ernie Garibay & The Cats Don’t Sleep (Rock/Pop) Firehouse Pub & Grill, 9pm Evolution (Rock/Pop) Tycoon Flats, 8pm Gabe Garcia (Country) The Stockyards Saloon, 4pm Henry + the Invisibles (Rock/Pop) Rebar, 10pm J.J. Henson (Rock/Pop) Roxy Sports Bar (1604 & Kitty Hawk), 9pm Jamaican Gold (DJ) The Reggae Bar, 4pm-2am Johnny P. & The Wise Guys (Swing) Kirby’s Steakhouse, 9pm Jose Perello (Latin) Paloma Blanca, 6:30-9:30pm KISS IT (Kiss Tribute) Boozehounds, 9pm Lone Strangers (Rock/Pop) Roxy Sports Bar, 9pm Mike Ellis & the Fabulous Funtones (Variety) Make My Day Lounge, 9:30pm NYAUX (DJ) Eden Patio & Bar, 10pm Prototype (Rock/Pop) McFinnigan’s Pub, 9pm Relapse (Rock/Pop) Legends Sports Bar, 9pm Salsa-Merengue Night: Tropicante (Latin) Azuca Bar Latino, 9:30pm San Antonio Rose Live (Country) Aztec on the River, 7:30pm Space Rockers (Rock/Pop) Sherlock’s Baker St. Pub, 9pmmidnight Spitfire (Rock/Pop) Brooks Pub, 9pm Texas Radio (Rock/Pop) Tripp’s Humor Bar, 9pm The S.A. Blue Cats (Blues) Olmos Bharmacy, 7:30pm The Worx (Rock/Pop) The Trap, 9pm Toma K Toma featuring Steve Arispe, Yiyi, & Andrea (Flamenco) Carmens de la Calle Café, 8:30pm, 10pm VJ Vision (DJ) The Falls, 10pm-2am

Saturday, December 17

CONCERTS 33rd Annual TubaMeister Christmas Areneson River Theater, noon-1pm

MUSIC, 80 ►


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CURRENT | CALENDAR | music

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THE DRINK ISSUE

◄ MUSIC, 78 4th Annual Snowbyrd Winter Holiday Meltdown with Magneticos, Ghostbitch, Chris Gavito, & Advance Cassette Boneshakers Bicycle Pub, 9pm Acoustic Medicine Music Series: Matt Harlan and Art & Lisa Olmos Bharmacy, 8pm Earl Poole Ball Gruene Hall, 1-5pm Green Mountain Grass, Roger Sellers, Sons of Fathers Texas Music Theater, 7:30pm Jerry Jeff Walker Gruene Hall, 9pm Jesse Dayton & The Saucerians The Phoenix Saloon, 9pm Luckenbach Christmas Ball with Gary P Nunn Luckenbach Dance Hall, 9pm Mariachis Del Infierno CD Release with The Sons of Sancho The Korova, 9pm Monty Montgomery & Clay McClinton Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm “Revolution Songs & Music from the Period of Porfiriato” Featuring the Zapoteca Piano, Trio el Capricho (vocalist Kitty Sawtelle, guitarist Francisco Chavez, and violinsit Ollin Chavez). Refreshments will be served; presented by El Ateneo de San Antonio. Museo Alameda, 5pm San Antonio Reggae Festival 2011 with Andrew & Wada Blood, One Destiny, Ashes of Babylon, Carlton Pride, Radio La Chusma, The Bad Chords, River City-Allstars, Henry Turner and Flavor, Ras Wayne Vicks, & Bandulus Café Revolución, noon-11pm Shy Blakeman Gruene Hall, 9pm Viet-Ruse, Sandoz, Joe Turner Project Nightrocker Live, 9pm CLUBS/VENUES After Hours (Rock/Pop) Charlie Brown’s, 9pm Albert & Extasy (Latin) Matamoros Restaurant y Cantina, 9:30pm-2am Billy Morgan & The Barn Burners (Rock/Pop) Stonewerks Big Rock Grille at the Rim, 9pm Black Thunder (Rock/Pop) Speedway Sports Bar #1, 9pm Charlie Bravo (Rock/Pop) Barton’s Boozery, 10pm-2am Chrome Pony (Rock/Pop) Fiasco Cocktails, 9pm Craving Amy (Rock/Pop) Roxy Sports Bar, 9pm Digger Bicks (Rock/Pop) Roxy Sports Bar (1604 & Kitty Hawk), 9pm Drowning Mona & Big Bang (Rock/Pop) The Falls, 10pm2am DV8 (Rock/Pop) The Trap, 9pm Ellen and the Degenerates (Rock/Pop) The Cove, 7pm Iron 60 (Rock/Pop) Caliente Harley-Davidson, 2-6pm Jackie Rodriguez, Sonya Jimenez, Steve Arispe, & Yiyi (Flamenco) Carmens de la Calle Café, 8:30pm Johnny P. & The Wise Guys (Jazz>Big Band/Swing) Kirby’s Steakhouse, 9pm Jose Perello (Latin) Paloma Blanca, 6:30-9:30pm Karaoke with Rob (Karaoke) Texas Spirits Saloon, 9:30pm PM Soul (Soul) Luna Fine Music Club, 9pm Prototype (Rock/Pop) Tonic, 9pm Radioactive (Rock/Pop) Brooks Pub, 9pm Relapse (Rock/Pop) Tripp’s Humor Bar, 9:30pm-1:30am Space Rockers (Rock/Pop) Sherlock’s Baker St. Pub, 9pm Spitfire (Rock/Pop) Boozehounds, 9pm The Bluebucks (Blues) Harleston’s Bar & Grill, 7-11pm VJ Vision (DJ) The Falls, 10pm-2am

Sunday, December 18

CONCERTS 29th Annual Holiday Saxophones This annual holiday event features the Regency Jazz Band under the direction of George Prado along with the best in local and regional saxophonists performing jazz favorites. 2-4pm, Buena Vista Theater, UTSA Downtown Campus. Also: 7-11pm, Guadalupe Theater. Hot Club of Cowtown Gruene Hall, 4-8pm Little Brave, Javi Garcia, Drew Kennedy, Screamin’ K Phillips, Daniel Thomas Phipps, Luke Leverett The Phoenix Saloon, 7pm Nicolette Good Barriba Cantina, noon Robert Earl Keen The Majestic Theatre, 7pm Rockabilly Christmas Show with Casey Miller, Somber Sons & Mariachis del Inferno Tonic, 9pm San Antonio Chamber Choir’s “Gladsome Tide-ings” Concert Featuring Hannukah songs and music by Hugo Distler, Abbie Betinis, Ralph Vaughan Williams and others. St. John’s Lutheran Church, 3pm San Antonio Choral Society presents “A Feast of Carols” Featuring a medley of traditional carols from Mexico, Spain, and Puerto Rico. First United Methodist Church (Boerne), 4pm

San Antonio Reggae Festival 2011 with Fortunate Youth, Piñata Protest, Oi Dollz, Chicken S3x, Spies Like Us, DJ Nandez, Ugly Lion, Idiginis Café Revolución, noon-10pm The Ear Food Orchrestra The Cove, 12:30-5:30pm The Ruby Jane Show Gruene Hall, noon-3:30pm Through Arteries & Belle Manoir The Ten Eleven, 8pm Underground Sounds: “Songs of the Season” Highlighting contemporary and traditional songs of the holiday season performed unamplified in a variety of folk-rock and world beat styles. Cave Without A Name, 5:30pm CLUBS/VENUES Albert & Extasy (Latin) The Mariachi Bar at Mi Tierra, 610pm Brent Michael Wood (Rock/Pop) Sherlock’s Baker St. Pub, 9pm DJ Flex (DJ) Tonic, 9pm Ezzencia Musical Band (Latin) Chacho’s & Chalucci’s, 7-11pm Mariachi Festival featuring Las Altenas (Mariachi) Aztec on the River, 4pm Mike Ellis & the Fabulous Funtones (Variety) Make My Day Lounge, 9:30pm Mike Phelan (Acoustic) Specht’s Store, 6-8pm Roots & Kulcha (DJ) The Reggae Bar, 4pm-2am Sunday Tunecase with The Bluebucks & Catherine Denise (Americana) Tycoon Flats, 4pm The Al Barlow Show (Rock/Pop) The Phoenix Saloon, 2pm Thomas Michael Riley (Country) Luckenbach Dance Hall, 1pm

Monday, December 19

CONCERTS Bret Graham Gruene Hall, 6-10pm Keith Magel The Texas Pianoman Sam’s Burger Joint, 7pm Royal Punisher & Thumper D Boneshakers Bicycle Pub, 9pm San Antonio Choral Society presents “A Feast of Carols” Laurel Heights United Methodist Church, 7:30pm CLUBS/VENUES Drive (Rock/Pop) Sherlock’s Baker St. Pub, 9pm Meat and Metal Mondays (Metal) Zombies, 9pm Open Mic Mondays with Nina Diaz (Open mic) Martini Ranch, 10pm Porneoke with Melissa Storms (Karaoke) Tonic, 9pm Voodoo Vinyl with Smartypants (DJ) The Mix, 11pm

Tuesday, December 20

CONCERTS 1st Annual Two Ton Tuesday Christmas Show with Two Tons of Steel Gruene Hall, 8:30pm Holiday in Brass! presented by San Antonio Brass (Jazz) The San Antonio Brass rings in the holiday season with carols and jazzy popular favorites. St. Luke’s Episcopal Church, 7pm Rodney Hayden The Phoenix Saloon, 7:30pm The San Antonio Jazz Orchestra Co-led by Rick Horn, Dale Schultz, and George DeRocher, the San Antonio Jazz Orchestra is a 20-piece big band featuring some of SA’s finest jazz musicians. Blue Star Brewing Company, 8pm Tuesday Jazz Night with Jim Cullum and Friends Tucker’s Kozy Korner, 7-10pm CLUBS/VENUES BMW Acoustic Jam & Karaoke (Acoustic) Sherlock’s Baker St. Pub, 9pm Damion Crow Karaoke (Karaoke) Tonic, 9pm Havana Hi-Fi DJ Nights with Adrian Quesada (DJ) Grupo Fantasma’s Adrian Quesada spins his favorite psychedelic soul, funk, and Afro-Latin grooves at Ocho Lounge every other Tuesday. Hotel Havana, 7-10pm Open Mic Night (Open mic) County Line, 6-9pm Pint Night with DJ Plata (DJ) Boneshakers Bicycle Pub, 7-11pm MAIL: Calendar Editor, The Velcro Underground: DJs San Antonio Current, 915 Bartron & Smartypants Dallas St., SA, TX 78215 EMAIL: (DJ) Limelight Music + sacalendar@sacurrent.com Drinks, 10pm-2am SUBMISSIONS ARE NOT ACCEPTED BY PHONE. VJ Vision (DJ) The Falls, 10pmComplete submission guide2am lines at sacurrent.com.

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84  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

WWW.SUGARSPERFECT.COM/P10SA/ THE DRINK ISSUE


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sacurrent.com | December 14-20, 2011 | CURRENT  85


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Escape Here At

VIP ORIENTAL SPA

Lucy’s Chinese Massage Accupressure Body Massage Chinese Herb Foot Massage Sea Salt Table Shower Trigger-Point Pressure

For Stress Relief Come See US!

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for 1st time customers with this ad

ME#1523

Samorou Massage • Thai – Swedish Deep Tissue Massage • Accupressure • Herbal Table Treatment • Herbal Foot Massage & Reflexology

non sexual

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vipspasa.com (Outside Loop 410)

PERFECT MASSAGE Professional Therapeutic Massage, Deep Tissue, Acupressure or Relaxation, Foot and Hand Reflexology Available

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LIC Massage Therapists ME #1864

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CHINESE FOOT & BODY MASSAGE BACK WALKING • NECK POPPING 5525 Blanco Rd #104

210-867-3367

DOWNTOWN

San Antonio, TX 78216

210-348-7778 RMT# 3068 myheavenly.net

(Same center as Blanco Cafe) MT031931

EXOTIC BABES ! Magic Hands Full Body Massage *(210)524-9335 MT 5220

FEEL EUPHORIC MASSAGE

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Swedish Massage & Hot Stone BODY TENSION RELIEF Massage Day/Eve/Weekend. www.bodymassage.4t.com FUN Catherine 210-590-8151 MT#20870 RELAXING SENSITIVE JUN'S MASSAGE RMT014602 Acupressure; Deep-Tissue John 687-5546 Massage; Relaxing Oriental Natural Treatment; BRENDA'S THERAPEUTIC Reflexology Services MASSAGE Open 7 days 10am-10pm Stress and Pain Relief 1649 Babcock Rd. #B Great Price $40/hr. 210.979.8688 ME #2145 10AM-6PM 8632 Fredricksburg Rd. LUCY'S CHINESE 210-268-5358 MASSAGE rmt#0967 Acupressure Body Massage, Chinese Herb Foot Massage, CHEEKY Sea Salt Table Shower, MASSAGE Service for both Men & Call Sandy Women. Appts Preferred. 824-7908 RMT#7132 Dec Specials: $45/1hr for 1st time DOWNTOWN MASSAGE customers! Open 10am-9pm. 802 E. Augusta, Suite 201 Call (210)340-2340 ME#1523 Cnr of McCullough/MT#1244 2211 NW Military, Suite 108 Upstairs 210-271-9577 ORIENTAL MASSAGE MASSAGE THERAPY Chinese Foot & Body Massage and Elderssage by Veronica Back Walking & Neck Popping by appt. only 365-2702 210.348.7778 Daily 9:30am-10pm Mon-Sat 6a-5:30p MT#7821 5525 Blanco Rd #104 RMT# 3068

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OFFERING THE BEST DEEP Tissue, Acupressure, & Swedish Massage in San Antonio. Please come by and see us at 2241 NW Military Highway Suite 102 S.A. TX 78213 Open 10 am to 10 pm everyday. 210525-0042, TX ME #1339

SAMOROU MASSAGE

18270 Stone Oak Pkwy, Ste 105

210.495.0050 rm#100812

Holly’s Chinese Massage

2007-2009

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for 1/2hr Foot Massage

Experience True Wellness for Men and Women OPEN 7 DAYS 9A - 10 P 10315 PERRIN BEITAL RD • Couples Massage • Sea Salt Body Scrub 210.967.9999 • Aroma Steam Sauna gift certificates • Swedish Deep Tissue Massage

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88  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

MT910057

THE DRINK ISSUE

JUN’S * Acupressure * Relaxing, * Deep-Tissue Oriental Massage Natural * Body, Foot, Treatment Hand, Face * Reflexology & Chair Massage Services Open 7 days a week (10am-10pm) 1649 Babcock Rd. # B Babcock & Callaghan • (210) 979-8688

ME#2145

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Swedish Massage $55/hr Christmas Special $50

Mon-Sat 10-9 • Sun 12-9 7627 Culebra SA, Tx 78251 210-681-0429

Massage 4 U

Jade Health Spa • Professional • Deep Tissue & Swedish Massage • Sea Salt Table Shower • Chair Massage & Therapeutic Foot Massage • Steam Room • Shiatsu massage • foot & hand Reflexology Reflexology Special $35 for one hour or $20 for half hour

Light/Deep/Pain/Stress Relief, Neck, Shoulder or Back problems? Swedish/Sports or Neuromuscular

All Area Hotel Calls 7 Days • 24 Hrs Darla RMT#20729

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Credit Cards Accepted

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9386 HUEBNER RD, STE 104

GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE

Open 7 Days a Week, 10am to 10pm 210-525-0042

2241 NW Military Hwy. Ste. 102 SA TX 78213


VIVA

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DRIVING RECORD

ME #1697

210-784-6718 $19.99

1/2 Hr. Foot Reflexology

Unsurpassed Chinese Massage Professional Massage Therapists Table Shower Available/Asian Full Body Massage Hours: 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. Located on 9914 San Pedro (Behind Jim’s Restaurant) Less than half mile north of 410

TRAFFIC VIOLATIONS • DWI • MIP • MIC • • EXPUNGEMENTS • • SURCHARGES • • OCCUPATIONAL LICENSES • DPS LICENSE SUSPENSIONS PAYMENT PLANS & AFTER HOURS APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE.

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LET’S BE FRIENDS! (on the internet)

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FORMER SAN ANTONIO JUDGE, PROSECUTOR & MAGISTRATE

KIMBERLY KREIDER, ATTORNEY AT LAW PRINICPAL OFFICE -SAN ANTONIO

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TEXAS LEGAL DRINKING AGE IS 21... PLEASE RESPECT THE LAW

210-832-8550 • WWW.SATICKETHELP.COM THE DRINK ISSUE

sacurrent.com | December 14-20, 2011 | CURRENT  89


ROY MAAS YOUTH ALTERNATIVES, INC. Hiring Residential Specialist Call 210-340-8077 Scarborough Research Now Hiring Part-time We offer a fun Environment, Paid Training, & Incentives For more info *(210)733.6443 www.scarborough operations.com

CNAs WANTED Lifespan is seeking CNAs who are experienced and caring for Adult private duty cases. Must be able to pass background check. Apply online at www.lifespantx.com or call Rebecca at 210-785-6610

SUNSHINE DISTRIBUTORS, INC.

- NOW HIRING -

RESIDENTIAL SPECIALIST Work with at-risk youth at our Boerne facility. Must pass criminal background check, drug screen and have a clean driving record.

Apply in Person: Monday-Friday between 9am-6pm • 3103 West Ave. San Antonio, TX 78213 • 210-340-8077

Turn Your Natural Talent into a Rewarding Career Career Training Programs ®

• Cosmetology (Operator License)

• Esthetician (Facialist License) • Massage Therapy*

Why Milan? • Financial Aid for Those Who Qualify • Employment Services for Graduates • Day and Evening Classes

Student Salons Open To The Public! Fall Savings $21.99 Color, Cut & Style Mon-Wed Call for an Appointment & More Specials

Student Massage Spa Now Open at 707 SW Military Drive! Instructor supervised student salons & massage spa. Expires 11/30/11. Not valid w/ any other discount

Call Now! 1.800.508.0429 www.MilanInstitute.edu 3 San Antonio Locations: • 6804 Ingram Rd. • 5403 Walzem Rd. • 605 S.W. Military Dr.

For more information about our graduation rates, median loan debt of students who completed the program and other important information, please visit our website. *License Number MS1035 – 707 SW Military Dr., San Antonio, TX 78221 and 6804 Ingram Rd., San Antonio, TX 78238.

90  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

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CUT OFF THE TIE AND dba Sunshine Medical LETS GET ROCKING! Uniforms is seeking a Market Direct Décor is looking for laid Research Analyst in San back, hard working people to Antonio, TX to conduct market join their Sales and research and evaluation of Management team. We will data on customer provide full training. demographics, preferences, Give us a call: needs, and buying habits to 210.637.1360 identify potential markets and factors affecting product demand. Minimum req. Master's degree plus two years exp. Send resume via BECOME A BARTENDER! email to siew@mysunUp to $300 A DAY. shinedistributors.com and No experience necessary. reference job code 19815. Training Courses Available. 1-800-965-6520 x 229. WAITSTAFF NEEDED Mariposa Restaurant Part-time day shifts avail. NEWS Apply in person CULTURE Mon-Fri 10 am- 4 pm FREE or online GET IT EVERY WEDNESDAY www.neimanmarcus.com online: www.sacurrent.com 15900 La Cantera Pkwy

$10/HOUR, UP TO $70/HOUR!!! Kid's Entertainers Needed. Training Provided. Nights/Weekends. 18 yrs +, Must have own transportation. Call 210-355-7852 AmazingTexasTwisters.com

MYSTERY SHOPPERS

Get Paid To Shop! Retail/Dining Establishments Need Undercover Clients To Judge Quality/Customer Service. Earn Up To $150 A Day. Call 877-737-7559

UNDERCOVER SHOPPERS Get Paid to shop. Retail/Dining establishments need undercover clients to judge quality/customer service. Earn up to $150 a day. Call (800)722-6351

Opportunities SKILLED HELPERS NEEDED CLP is now hiring licensed apprentice and journeyman electricians with tools. Skilled helpers, and equipment operators with CDL license. Call 210-366-0208 to set up an interview.

are endless in the classifieds call us today. 227-CLAS (2527) or online @ www.sacurrent.com • 227-CLAS •

Don't rely on luck... List your service in the San Antonio Current’s

Service Directory Call 227-2527 TODAY!

GET MORE @ SACURRENT.COM


Cut the Tie off and lets

Make our business, your business. Are you committed to providing solutions and making a real difference for customers?

Restaurant We are currently seeking committed professionals for the following positions:

Busser & Waitstaff

Then look to Chase Card Services.

We offer competitive hourly rates & merchandise discount.

GET ROCKIN! Hiring laid back, hard working people to come enjoy the GREAT things that life has to offer!! Established company provides full training into Sales and Management, with no experience necessary, to help build our new office in San Antonio! Tons of GROWTH Potential.

MOLD YOUR OWN CAREER HERE AND HAVE FUN DOING IT! Give us a call

210-637-1360

Part time day shifts available.

Now Available: • Inbound Customer Service Advisors • Financial Service Advisors - Collections • Team Managers and Team Leaders Apply today for the opportunity to join a world class organziation.

APPLY IN PERSON Mon-Fri 10am-4pm OR ONLINE AT WWW.NEIMANMARCUS.COM 15900 La Cantera Pkwy Fax: 694-3545 Equal Opportunity Employer - M/F

Visit us at careers.jpmorganchase.com. Keyword: SAT1

Will Train

LOOKING FOR A SCARBOROUGH RESEARCH! NEW CAREER WITH... Now Hiring Part-Time We offer a Fun Environment, EARN WHAT YOU’RE WORTH & GET RESULTS WITH

Telephone Research Interviewers Paid Training, & Incentives

Excellent Benefits, Competitive Salary, Paid Training and Oppurtunity for Advancement? The Geo Group, Inc. South Texas Detention Complex is accepting applications for the following positions.

POSITIONS ARE AVAILABLE NOW! DETENTION OFFICERS High school diploma or GED required. Must be at least 21 years of age and pass pre-employment requirements/criminal and credit history investigation.

Paid training in a correctional setting is done on-site.

Apply online at

geogroup.com

Competitive Wages starting at $10/hr English only $11.50 Bilingual Spanish/English

We offer a Fun Environment, Paid Training, Incentives, & Shift Differentials

Part-Time, Evenings & Weekends

For more information call: 210-733-6443 OR APPLY ONLINE AT: WWW.SCARBOROUGHOPERATIONS.COM

GeO THE GEO GROUP, INC.

THE DRINK ISSUE

Office at the South Texas Detention Complex, 566 Veterans Dr. Pearsall, TX 78061 EOE m/ff/d/v sacurrent.com | December 14-20, 2011 | CURRENT  91


ave You think you tho be s what it take Come show us a Coyote? what you got! rience bartending expe No dancing or but it is a PLUS. y, ar ss ce ne

Dress to Impress:

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NOW HIRING:

• Bartenders • Waitresses

• Bouncers • Barbacks

CALL TO SCHEDULE AN AUDITION

blogs.sacurrent.com

— NOW HIRING —

SKILLED TRADES PEOPLE FOR THE FOLLOWING TRADES: • LICENSED APPRENTICE AND JOURNEYMAN ELECTRICIAN W/ TOOLS

Join Our Team Plasma Donors Needed Now

• SKILLED HELPERS • EQUIPMENT OPERATORS w/ CDL LICENSE – Minimum 2 years experience for all trades – We are currently hiring skilled people in the above areas for long term commercial projects in the San Antonio area. We give you the opportunity to become more diverse in your trade while earning top pay. CLP offers a weekly paycheck and benefits. CLP offers local branch support and team safety incentives. So if you want flexibility, variety, and growth opportunity please call us at:

(210) 366-0208 to set up an interview.

92  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

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Please help us help those coping with rare, chronic, genetic diseases. New donors can receive $60 today and $120 this week! Ask about our Specialty Programs! Must be 18 years or older, have valid I.D. along with proof of SS# and local residency. Walk-ins Welcome. 601SanAntonioCurrent4.95x5.3.indd 1

Biotest Plasma Center 711 Broadway St. San Antonio, TX 78215 210-224-1749 www.biotestplasma.com 6/25/11 10:46 AM


A LEADING FRACTURING COMPANY

ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS AT...

636 County Rd. 429 • Pleasanton, TX 78064 Contact Priscilla Foster @ 830.569.2098 CURRENTLY HIRING FOR:

— Frac Equipment Operators — (must hold a class A CDL)

— Diesel Mechanics — (must hold a class A CDL)

— Fluid Techs — (must have current frac exp.)

— Service Supervisors — (must have at least 2 yrs. exp.)

— Electrical Technicians — Apply in person or go to pumpcoservices.com for more information THE DRINK ISSUE

sacurrent.com | December 14-20, 2011 | CURRENT  93


VOLUNTEERS NEEDED FOR STUDY ON MUSCLE FUNCTION TO BE CONDUCTED BY

The University of Texas Health Science Center If you are: - 18 to 30 years old, or - Over 64 years old - Without diabetes You may qualify for this study that will evaluate how age affects muscle function. We will also test the effect of exercise on the muscles. If you participate, you will receive: 1. A physical exam 2. Blood work 3. Compensation for your time

Please contact: Dr. Musi at (210) 358-7200 and ask for “MUSCLE STUDY”

If you are 12 years old or older and have symptoms of Athlete’s Foot, you may qualify to participate in a research study evaluating the effectiveness of a new investigational medication.

94  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

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The University of Texas at San Antonio is looking for single women to be in a RESEARCH STUDY about social interactions and alcohol.

• Generally healthy • 18 to 80 years of age And you must be able to answer yes to one of the following: • Do you have type 2 diabetes mellitus not adequately controlled with diet and exercise alone? — OR — • Do you have type 2 diabetes mellitus not adequately controlled by metformin alone? This study includes up to 11 clinic visits across a 17-18 week period. If you qualify, you will receive all study-related care and investigational study medication at no cost to you. Compensation may be available for time and travel. Please inquire: 210 – 845 - 3350

Healthy women and men ages 21-54 that drink beer, wine, or mixed drinks are needed for participation in research studies

Female

Type II Diabetes Research If you have been diagnosed with Type II Diabetes, you may be eligible to participate in a clinical research study. In order to be considered for the study, you must be:

aRe SINGle YOU aGe 21 TO 30?

SOcIal DRINkeR,

Call

•Participants will be compensated for their time and travel. •Volunteers should drink 1 to 4 days each week. •Participation will last from 7:30am to about 7:30pm for 6 to 8 weekdays across a two week period. •Participants may also be invited to participate in weekly visits that last for 30 minutes to 1 hour over 16 weeks. •Volunteers must be height/weight proportionate.

210-458-DYAD (3923) You could receive up to

$120 CASH

for a one-day research study!

For more information, Please contact Dina at (210) 567-2752

Location: UTSA Campus, PI: T. Zawacki

UTSA AD_4.95 X 5.3 indd.indd 1

Have Some Spare Time?

12/1/11 2:10 PM

ParticiPate in a medical research study at icOn develOPment sOlutiOns If you are a healthy man between the ages of 18 and 45 you may be eligible to participate in a research study to test injection delivery methods for the approved medication BOTOX® If you qualify you may be compensated up to $1,300. Contact us today at 210-225-5437 or visit us online at www.SomethingToBeProudOf.com to learn more!

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sacurrent.com | December 14-20, 2011 | CURRENT  95


++++ Clinical Research Opportunity ++++

Take Pain Meds? Have

CONSTIPATION? If you or a loved one is struggling with constipation possibly caused by prescription pain medication, take part in this clinical research study. Take this opportunity to explore your possible treatment options by learning more.

COMPensaTIOn Of uP TO $900 May be avaIlable.

Call: 866-231-9614 Visit: PainAndConstipation.com

Athlete’s Foot Driving you Crazy? You May be eligible to participate in our latest research study.

Oakwell Clinical Research, LLC is currently recruiting people with athlete’s foot to participate in a research study. This study will compare an investigational cream to an already approved cream.

You may be able to participate if you are: - 12 years of age or older - Have a confirmed diagnosis of Athlete’s Foot Study participants will receive: - Study drug or placebo - Physical exam and lab testing - Up to $150.00 for participating 96  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

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For More Information Call:

210-477-1151


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sacurrent.com | December 14-20, 2011 | CURRENT  97


DO YOU HAVE

HEPATITIS C? IF YOU:

HAVE CHRONIC HEPATITIS C ARE AT LEAST 18 YEARS OF AGE AND HAVE NEVER BEEN TREATED...

YOU MIGHT BE ELIGIBLE TO PARTICIPATE IN A CLINICAL RESEARCH STUDY. SPONSORED BY Bristol Meyers Squibb

PARTICIPANTS MAY RECEIVE, AT NO COST, STUDY RELATED: • MEDICAL CARE • INVESTIGATIONAL MEDICATION • LABORATORY WORK FOR MORE INFORMATION, PLEASE CONTACT:

ALAMO MEDICAL RESEARCH • 210.253.3426 OR 1.855.437.2267 (HEP-C-AMR) 98  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

THE DRINK ISSUE


436 W. GRAMERCY Bedrooms: 2 Baths: 1 Rent: $1100 Sq. Ft: 1750 Available: Now Parking: On Site Deposit: $1100 Spacious Alta Vista Duplex, First Floor, Study, Wood Floors, High Ceilings, Updated Kitchen With Granite Counters, Patio, Freshly Painted. Call Debra Maltz @ Centro Properties 210.224.2213 www.centroproperties.net

1937 FORD COUPE $15,600 1160 Miles. Orig. All steel body. 350 Ram Jet fuel injected motor, 700-R4 Chevy A/T, Ford 9inch rear end. A/C. Call 718-839-0621. For more info email YES446@comcast.net

INK THERAPY TATTOOS Custom Tattoos & Piercings 7870 Culebra Rd., Ste. 23

In the Piper's Creek Shopping Center behind Valero Gas Station

210.647.9755

SOL ORGANICS AND HYDROPONICS

Ask the experts for all you organic & hydroponic growing needs. See us on YouTube's expertvillage.com, just type SOL Organics. 1634 Babcock Rd Open 11am-7pm M-F/11am-6pm Sat. (210) 366 9082

Bank owned on-site REAL ESTATE AUCTION Seguin 1018 East Cedar St. 5 bedroom, 3 bath, 3,015 sqft Sale date: Sun, Dec18th 1pm FREE COLOR BROCHURE 1-800-260-5846 www.auctionservicesintl.com 5% buyer's premium Auctioneer: Eddie Gonzalez TX16877

Opportunities are endless in the classifieds call us today. 227-CLAS (2527) or online @ www.sacurrent.com

CONDO FOR RENT Olmos Park Area 1 bedroom/ 1 ½ bath upstairs and downstairs next to swimming pool with patio. 1,100 sq ft. 210-392-4066

NEWS

OLMOS PARK TOWNOME

♣ CULTURE ♣ FREE

GET IT EVERY WEDNESDAY online: www.sacurrent.com

GET YOUR CLASS ON! • EVERY WEDNESDAY • 210.227.CLAS fax 227.7755

NEWS.CULTURE.FREE GET IT EVERY WEDNESDAY online: www.sacurrent.com

EXPERTISE. Brokerage Services Construction Services Real Estate Investments 210-547-0076 hmresa.com • info@hmresa Se Habla Español H&M Real Estate Services is a fully licensed real estate brokerage. Memberships include The National Association of Realtors, Texas Association of Realtor and San Antonio Board of Realtors.

DEILMANN LOFTS #103 Bedrooms: 2 Baths: 2 Rent: $1230 Sq. Ft: 948 Available: December 9 Parking: On Site Deposit: $1000 Awesome Loft, Two Gated Parking Spaces, Close To Downtown UTSA, High Ceilings, Concrete Counters, Great Plumbing Fixtures, Concrete Floors, Washer/Dryer connects, Central Heat And Air. All electric with individual meters. Cable and Broad Band Wiring. 24/7 Security Cameras and optional exterior alarm system. Covered Parking. (Limited) Fenced and Automatic Gated Community. Remote Access control to parking and building. Sound Proof Insulation. Additional Storage Available.! Call Debra Maltz @ Centro Properties 210.224.2213 www.centroproperties.net

Bedrooms: 2 Baths: 2 Rent: $900 Sq. Ft: 1186 Available: Now DOWNTOWN $99 TMI Parking: On Site Eff., 1 bdr 1 bath, 2 bdr 1 bath Deposit: $600 Starting at $399 a mo. Monte Vista Terrace, Close To Downtown, Pergo, Carpet, All bills paid, central heat/air, reserved covered parking, Vinyl Floors, Washer/Dryer broken lease OK Connections, Faces Pool. NEAR DOWNTOWN/ Pets Negotiable. Pearl Brewery area Call Debra Maltz @ Contact Chris! *(210)227.7144 Centro Properties 210.224.2213 HOLIDAY RATES www.centroproperties.net Studio,1, 2, and 3 bdr W/D conn, garden tubs, walkin closets, sparkling pools, fitness center, Lrg pets OK 2 BDR 2 BATH Presidio at the Landmark Private balconies, Fireplaces, 14200 Vance Jackson 78249 W/D conn. $680 a month *(210)694.2200 Pecan Hills Apts *(210)436.5144 THE EXCHANGE#202 Pics at www.doorsinsa.com Bedrooms:Studio. Baths: 1 Rent: $815 Sq. Ft: 643 Available: January 10 2 BDR 2 BATH Parking: Garage Private balconies, Fireplaces, Deposit: $400 W/D conn. $680 a month Showing After December 10, Pecan Hills Apts River View, High Ceilings, *(210)436.5144 Concrete Floors Pics at www.doorsinsa.com Call Debra Maltz @ Centro Properties 3 BDR STONE OAK $199 210.224.2213 TMI 1800 sqft 210 564-9599 www.centroproperties.net 2/2 1/2 bath TOWNHOME *$99 TMI $799 mo 724-9121 THE EXCHANGE#802 *2 bdr 1604 281 $199 TMI Bedrooms:1. Baths: 2 1200 sqft 210 564-9606 Rent: $1120 Sq. Ft: 869 *1,2,3 bdr 1st mth free No Available: January 15 CPS 210 290-5101 Parking: Garage *Luxury apt 3 bdr $1177 mo Deposit: $400 1604 blanco 564-9607 Rare Opportunity, Unique * 2 bdr $911 mo luxury 281 Floorplan, Overlooking River 1604 $100 rebate Call Debra Maltz @ 210 724-9121 Centro Properties * 3 bdr W attached garg huge 210.224.2213 lxry 2 pools 210 564-9599 www.centroproperties.net *$249 TMI 2-3 bdr T/H *Churchill Area 210 290-5101 *$199 TMI $500 Cash Back Luxury stone oak 393-0808 *(($99)) TMI BRK LEASE OK ASAP MOVE IN 564-9607 FREE APT..LOCATING www.makinthemove.net

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1331 S FLORES #311 $185,000 Much light in this cool loft. Open floor plan w a curved 210 SADIE partition wall creates a 78210 - $109,000 bedroom. Beautiful wood Come and see the perfect floors give an elegant feel. cottage located right in the Granite counters in middle of Southtown! High ceilings, gorgeous hardwood kitchen/bath,&glass ceramic back splash. Large walk-in floors and two bedrooms closet w ample storage. An make this a splendid starter island separates the kitchen, home for anyone. King living&dining rooms allow for William district, the beautiful easy entertaining. A delightful Riverwalk, amazing restaurants, galleries and downtown balcony to enjoy the outdoors, even a bike pulley for your are all located within minutes bike. Enjoy Southtown, downof this charming cottage. town, Blue Star&walks along Dont miss this wonderful opportunity to live in the won- t he river +onsite fitness room, pool and rooftop deck to derful Lavaca neighborhood. enjoy. Seller will pay 6 months Call Debra Maltz@ condo fees at closing. Kuper Sotheby's International Call Debra Maltz@ Realty (210) 639-3272 Kuper Sotheby's International www.centroproperties.net Realty (210) 639-3272 www.centroproperties.net 230 DELAWARE, 78210 1339 S FLORES $237,000 $220,000 This charming two bedroom, two bath cottage, recently ren- Experience Southtown living! This third-floor unit featuring ovated with character, features hardwood floors, French contemporary and urban design provides amazing spaces doors, built-ins, a fireplace and high ceilings. The kitchen and offers stunning panoramic views of the skyline. The open is a chef's delight which is equipped with a steel fridge, floor plan, soaring 13' ceilings gas range stove, custom cabi- and hi-gloss concrete floors netry and an adjoining break- afford an elaborate living area for all. Enjoy the gourmet fast area. Relax outdoors on kitchen with exquisite details, the lovely front porch or reglass tile backsplash and treat to the backyard for entertaining. Enjoy Southtown and stainless-steel appliances. A common roof-top deck, luxuria quick trip to downtown. This ous pool and workout room cottage is m ove-in ready! provide a wonderful environCall Debra Maltz@ ment to relax. The property Kuper Sotheby's International also supplies gated access, Realty (210) 639-3272 parking and a short walk to www.centroproperties.net Blue Star, downtown and the Riverwalk. Don't miss out an 292 POST AVE- 78215 amazing opportunity! $261,200 4bed, 4 bath Call Debra Maltz@ 3667 sqft. Wonderful opportu- Kuper Sotheby's International nity to live close to your job at Realty (210) 639-3272 Ft. Sam. If you love older www.centroproperties.net historic homes, this is a great opportunity to renovate to your tastes. Charming 1891 home featuring high ceilings, wood floors, original panel doors, many windows w/stained glass & restored bath fixtures. Enjoy original stone fence & the quiet culde-sac location. Beautiful mature pecan trees enhance this spacious lot located next to Ft. Sam, newly revived Broadway District, Pearl District, & Downtown. Close to museums & more! Call Debra Maltz@ Kuper Sotheby's International Realty (210) 639-3272 www.centroproperties.net

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GOT CHRISTMAS LIGHTS? We'll hang them for you, after Xmas, we'll take them down! Be the envy of your whole neighborhood! You supply the lights and we do all the work! Jacob Puentes / 210-303-8321 jacobpuentes@yahoo.com

SAY*SHE*ATE San Antonio's newest favorite food truck will be serving it's eclectic blend of New American Comfort Fare this First Friday in Southtown! Follow us to find out where! www.facebook.com/saysheatetx www.twitter.com/saysheatetx

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100  CURRENT | December 14-20, 2011 | sacurrent.com

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