Field Guide
STARRY
EYED
A GUIDE TO THE MODERN CONSTELLATIONS Words by Anthony Casey Illustrations by Karen Shangguan
How do I make this all about me? Bound together by the stars Extra One and The Most Extra Two, this constellation can be observed from any point on Earth, at any time of day—especially when you think it’s your turn to share what’s going on in your life. Modern mythology says this clusterfuck of stars was birthed when a person, not unlike yourself, completed a few mundane tasks on a Sunday morning without a hangover. When your zodiac is dominated by this conversational vampire—because it visits us all at some point— you will find yourself asking, “How do I make this about me?” since its power is very on-the-nose. You can generally find this obnoxious ball of gas suspiciously close to other constellations, regardless of time and space.
I can’t believe this is really happening Miraculously, this constellation can be seen at all times of the day. Keep an eye out next time you’re around someone who insists on talking with their mouth full or chewing with their mouth open. I mean, were you raised in a barn? What makes you think it’s OK to take a call at work while you’re jawing away on some dried chickpeas, or smushing whatever god-awful creation you brought for lunch, into that poor caller’s ear? Oh, and a special shout-out to the mouth-breathers who have to struggle to inhale through their noses for a few minutes so they don’t choke. Here’s a hot tip from the universe to you: SLOW DOWN AND TAKE A MINUTE TO CHEW YOUR FOOD. Oh, and stars and stuff.
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