Transformations A Newsletter All about Safe Places
Volume 7, Number 1
February 2012
The mission of Safe Places is to create communities where every child is protected, every home is a safe place, and where every person
A Newsletter All about Safe Places
can live a life free from violence.
Volume 7, Number 1
February 2012
In This Issue Page 1
The Comfort of a Quilt
Page 2
More than Teen Dating Violence . . . It can be a
Page 4
A Bright 2012 for Safe Places New Safe Places Board Members FBI Director’s Community Leadership Award
Page 5
Safe Places Intern Leadership Program:
Fatal Attraction
Welcome to our seven college interns for this semester
Page 6
In April . . .Safe Places 2012 Symposium on Sexual Violence Lilly’s Dim Sum, Then Some Helps Celebrate our Tenth Anniversary Year
Page 7
Exciting New Developments for The 2012 Cinderella Ball
Page 8
This Is My Story . . . A Victim of Violence Speaks
Safe Places
1609 Broadway
Little Rock, AR 72206
501-374-SAFE (7233) 24-Hour Crisis Line: 501-801-3700 Statewide, Toll-free Crisis Line: 1-877-432-5368 www.SafePlacesLR.org Copyright
C
Safe Places 2012
The Comfort of a Quilt The Arkansas Quilters Guild is a non-profit organization dedicated to the art and craft of making quilts. Their members span a wide range of age and experience but all share a common love of quilts and quiltmaking. Most of all, they help us create a safe, comforting place for our clients during the most difficult times of their lives. One of the most popular items at our annual silent auction last year was a handmade quilt donated by the Arkansas Quilter's Guild. Nola Ballenger of the Guild recently brought us twelve stunning quilts. Not only will some of them end up as much sought-after items in our silent auction, but they also fill another very special purpose for the clients of Safe Places.
A Special Purpose for a Special Quilt You will find some of the warm and comforting quilts in our support group room. You might also find quilts made by the Arkansas Quilters Guild all through Safe Places - in all the rooms where we work with women and children who have been harmed by violence. Providing warmth and comfort for clients who are dealing with difficult life issues, the quilts are just one of the small touches that make our place a safe place. Thank you to each member of the Arkansas Quilters Guild. “One of the things I love about Safe Places is that I feel safe. I am always afraid when I come to group, even though I know people care about me. It’s the small things that comfort me, like the quilts.” - An adult client of Safe Places
Page One www.SafeplacesLR.org
More than Teen Dating Violence
It can be a
F
n o i t c a r t t A l ata
F
n o i t c a r t t A l ata
In the October 2011 issue of
Boston Magazine, Eileen McNamara writes about the tragic murders of two young women.
Tragedy One - Lauren On July 5, 2011, 18-year-old Nathaniel Fujita, a former Wayland (Mass) High School football player was charged with the murder of his former girlfriend, 18-year-old Lauren Astley. Prosecutors say Astley and Fujita had been boyfriend and girlfriend for three years, but the relationship had ended. Lauren Astley broke up with her boyfriend and was headed out of state to college. Fujita responded by strangling her with a bungee cord, cutting her throat, and dumping her body in a swamp.
MURDER GETS OUR ATTENTION. Teen dating violence does not. Statistics warn us to be vigilant. Girls ages 16 to 24 are the most likely victims, and one in five high school girls reports having been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner. Still, we respond with bewilderment when “good girls” from “good homes” turn up battered or dead at the hands of boyfriends who seemed so nice. Our tendency to label “good girls” or “good homes” is simply irrelevant, because violence does not maintain such boundaries. The problem is not just denial on our part. It's delusional thinking - that the kids will work it out, that the young girl will walk away, that he will respond to warnings and move on.
Tragedy Two - Allison Nearly two years after the murder of 19-year old Allison Myrick, Robert Gulla's trial is set to begin this month. Gulla had a history of beating on Allison. He sent her harassing text messages, and police were twice called to assaults, including once when he repeatedly punched Allison in the stomach. Gulla was charged in multiple incidents of assault and battery in the months leading up to his alleged murder of Myrick. He was released twice and was supposed to appear in court to face those charges. Instead, prosecutors say, he violated a restraining order and allegedly stabbed 19-year-old Myrick to death. Allison's parents released a statement urging women to take flight if they're in an abusive relationship: Our daughter Allison was a very intelligent, creative, beautiful 19-year-old with her whole life ahead of her. This can happen to anyone. If you are in a situation that is abusive, no matter how small it may seem, please ask for help. You cannot fix this yourself. No matter how many times your abuser says he has changed, you cannot trust that.
Lauren Astley and Nathaniel Fujita
Common Themes . . . Common Stories The face of teen dating violence looks like this: She dyes her hair the color he likes. She shuts out her friends because he orders her to stop talking to them. She wears only the colors he lets her wear. She returns his text messages immediately. She has no other male friends on Facebook. But it's never enough.
The stories of these two girls follow an all-too-familiar pattern: A relationship begins. The boy gets obsessed. The girl pulls away. The boy gets emotionally and physically abusive.
Continue to page 4 Page Three www.SafeplacesLR.org
Fatal Attraction continued
Here’s how it looks He slammed her into a wall because she did not return his text messages fast enough. He threatened to kill himself if she ever left him. He continued to bully her at school and online. For a while, she really thought that he was obsessively possessive enough to kill himself if he lost her. She actually though it was because he loved her so much. At times, a part of her was flattered that he would “love” her so deeply he could not live without her. This feeling becomes part of the trap for the young girl. The school finally suspended him but even after that, he persisted in bothering her, which drove her parents back to court. The judge extended the protective order for another year but, once again, did not refer the boy's repeated violations for criminal prosecution. Journalist Eileen McNamara writes, “It's long past time this state got serious about teenage dating violence.” We could not agree more. Arkansas, in fact, exceeds McNamara's state of Massachusetts in the incidence of violence among teens.
Arkansas is number one in the nation for the rate of sexual violence among middle school girls. Instead of targeting specific unhealthy behaviors based on the headlines of the week or the national observance of a special month, perhaps we should be developing comprehensive prevention efforts, education, school-based intervention programs, and public policies that model healthy behavior to young people and that attach real consequences when those standards are violated. Harassment, violence against peers, bullying, family violence, sexual violence, stalking, dating violence, trafficking . . . the list goes on and on. To address these as individual forms of violence won’t be effective. By categorizing various forms of violence, we minimize our collective will, focusing only on the form of violence we care about. Instead, the solution will require communities coming together to address violence as a force to be confronted with a unified approach. We can conquer it . . . but only together. Page Four www.SafeplacesLR.org
A Bright 2012 for Safe Places Because of the amazing public relations and fundraising success of our new Development Committee, 2012 (our Tenth Anniversary Year) is looking brighter than ever. We are very pleased to welcome Nicolas Mayerhoeffer who has joined our staff as Director of Development. He will provide leadership to the development work of Safe Places. Nicolas worked in marketing communications with Euronet Worldwide, as marketing coordinator at NetGain Technologies, Inc., and as marketing consultant at Above Marketing. Nicolas brings expertise in international marketing and business development.
Safe Places Adds Four to the Board of Directors New members of the Safe Places Board of Directors are: Sheriff Doc Holladay, Dale Sharp, Maria Reynolds-Diaz and Detective Crystal Haskins. See full profiles of the safe Places Board of Directors in next month’s issue of Transformations.
Safe Places Director to Receive FBI Community Leadership Award In a March 16, 2011 ceremony at FBI Headquarters, Director Robert S. Mueller, III will recognize Safe Places executive director, Kathy Manis Findley and recipients from over 50 U.S. Cities with the 2011 Director's Community Leadership Award. These leaders, selected by their area FBI field office, demonstrate outstanding contributions to their local communities. This award was created in 1990 to honor individuals and organizations for their efforts in combating crime, terrorism, drugs, and violence in America.
SAFE PLACES INTERN LEADERSHIP PROGRAM
We Love Our College Interns! At Safe Places, we believe that a successful internship is an important portal to a successful career. That’s why we offer, not only service learning opportunities that meet academic and internship requirements for our interns, we also make sure they develop leadership skills that will serve them well throughout their careers.
Meet Our College Interns Safe Places has a wonderful group of interns this semester, each doing very meaningful work to help serve our clients while they learn advocacy skills from our professional staff. Some of their duties include facilitating support and prevention education groups throughout Pulaski County, working with clients, making follow-up phone calls, learning support group curriculum and observing the working of a nonprofit organization. We are honored to work with them to ensure a positive learning experience. Welcome to: Courtney Cobbs Courtney attends UALR, where she is majoring in Sociology. She will graduate with her Bachelor's degree in May 2012 and will attend graduate school for a Master's in Social Work. She wants to provide therapy for abused children and eventually direct a non-profit.
Dominic Asiel Harris Dominic, a graduating senior majoring in Psychology at Philander Smith College, is from Pittsburgh, PA. His goal is to earn a PhD. During his internship, he has been working with young people in our violence prevention education program. Holly Rockingham Holly is a senior at Philander Smith College majoring in Sociology. She is from Harvey, Illinois, and will be graduating in May. As a part of her internship, Holly is working in our violence prevention program with young people at Henderson and J.A. Fair. JoAnna Henton JoAnna is a senior at Philander Smith College, graduating in May 2012. Joanna's goal is to continue gaining knowledge and hands-on experience working with adolescents. Catherine Jones Catherine is from North Little Rock and is a senior in at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock, seeking a Bachelors of Arts Degree in Speech Communication and Mass Communication. After receiving her BA, she plans to start the Masters Program in Communication in 2013. Continued on page 6 Page Five www.SafeplacesLR.org
Safe Places College Interns continued
Lakeshia Smith Majoring in psychology, Lakeshia is a graduating senior at Philander Smith College. Lakeshia is from Memphis, TN. She plans on furthering her education by attending Graduate School for Marriage & Family Counseling. Kiara Toney Kiara is a native of Malvern. She is a senior at Philander Smith College majoring in Sociology. She will graduate this summer. As a part of her internship, Kiara is leading Expect Respect and Transforming Anger violence prevention education groups, working with young people in two Little Rock School District locations.
We appreciate the faculty advisors for making these Internship experiences possible.
Save the Date For the Safe Places 2012 Symposium on Sexual Violence Tuesday, April 3, 2012 10:00 am - 3:00 pm Darragh Center Auditorium 100 Rock Street Little Rock AR 72201 A $10 registration fee will help offset cost of printed materials and lunch. The 2012 Symposium on Sexual Violence is an annual Safe Places event. This year's sessions will focus on preventing sexual violence and improving the coordinated community response for helping victims through Sexual Assault Response Teams. To register, contact Karla Contreras or Ann Prosper at 501-801-2700.
Thanks so much to the college faculty for working work with us to make these internships positive learning opportunities for the students, Dr. Patricia Griffen at Philander Smith College and Dr. Kristin Gullicks-McIntyre at UALR.
Lilly's Dim Sum, Then Some Helps Safe Places Celebrate Our Tenth Anniversary Year
Safe Places staff members Rhonda Johnson and Ann Prosper coordinate the schedules and service learning opportunities for each of our interns.
February kicked off our Tenth Year Anniversary celebration. Lilly's helped us celebrate as a part of their One Day, One Community Program.
Ann provides direct supervision and serves as the liaison with faculty supervisors to ensure that we meet and exceed all of the internship requirements.
We appreciate all the people who helped us celebrate that day, and we appreciate the opportunity to receive 15% of the day's sales from Lilly's.
Safe Places involves all of our interns in direct services to clients after a time of training and job shadowing our professional staff. They also gain invaluable leadership skills which are specialized, transferable skills that will give them an edge in any career.
Page Six www.SafeplacesLR.org
Thank you to Lilly's entire staff for extending such a warm welcome, and to the many Safe Places supporters who showed up to wish us well, and enjoy a great meal!
Announcing The 2012 Cinderella Ball Chairperson: The most exciting Cinderella Ball to date will happen in 2012, largely due to the experience and creativity of our Cinderella Ball Chairperson, Martie North. Martie is Vice President, Director of Community Development at Bank of the Ozarks. She is the force behind many Little Rock events, and Safe Places is extremely pleased to welcome her as our leader for this year's Cinderella Ball.
Save the Date The 2012 Cinderella Ball October 13, 2012 In the days to come, these are the images you will see:
Martie has been a speaker and mentor for every class of our Cinderella Princess Leadership Program since 2008. And she is a favorite of our Princesses because of her sense of style, her sense of humor, and her love for shoes.
Now in Little Rock and El Dorado The Cinderella Ball 2012 will be a milestone for Safe Places, being the Fifth Annual Cinderella Ball during the Tenth Anniversary Year of Safe Places. And for the first time, young women from El Dorado will participate in the Cinderella Princess Leadership Program and will be joining us in Little Rock for the Ball. To implement our program in El Dorado, Safe Places will be working with Ms. Roshonda Anderson, Community Care Director of the Systems of Care Program at the South Arkansas Regional Health Center. Safe Places is very pleased to offer our Princess Leadership program in another part of the state, and we welcome the joint creative process with our new El Dorado colleagues. Many enhancements to our leadership program will come through this special collaboration.
Nominations Now Open For the 2012 Cinderella Princess Leadership Program for young women ages 13 - 16 To get your nomination packets, call Safe Places at 501-801-2700 and ask for Karla Contreras or Ann Prosper. Page Seven www.SafeplacesLR.org
This is my story . . .
A victim of violence speaks I'm tired of living in the shadows. I'm tired of the depression. The flashbacks. The confusion. I'm tired of "waking up" not knowing where I've been or what I've done. I'm tired of refusing to believe in a God who does not love me. Of trying to make something valuable out of myself, when no value exists. Of self medicating in an attempt to quell the sorrow and calm the mind. I'm tired of believing in change. Of hoping for progress, living for nothing. For so many years, she felt there was no hope at all for a life worth living. She had endured so much violence, in so many forms, at the hands of so many different people. Those people should have loved her and protected her. They did not. Doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, even God could not provide the hope she had lost so long ago. Sometimes she wanted to die. Often she found way to numb herself just to make it through the day. As a young adult, she reached out to Safe Places and found a way to let the secrets slip out, one by one, over many months. It was hard to speak the truth, hard for her to tell another person about the horror she endured since childhood. But when she did, the journey of hope slowly opened up to her. She had the courage to heal, and that is what she did. Safe Places was simply there to walk alongside her, to encourage her along the journey, and to celebrate each small victory. She completed her graduate degree and is now healthy, happy, and enjoying a successful professional career. Today, we celebrate her and remember her as a person of worth who was able to live again. Page Eight www.SafeplacesLR.org
Please click here to donate to Safe Places.
Your tax-deductible contribution helps children and families harmed by violence.
Safe Places
Transformations www.SafePlacesLR.org