Covid-19 Dating

Flirting with a facemask

Relationship coach Valentina Tudose on dating during a pandemic

As if there weren’t enough problems in our dating lives, social distancing and mandatory mask wearing have made things a little more complicated.

If you are single, shy or have not mastered the basics of flirting, the pandemic has probably convinced you to take your mind off dating completely. I don’t blame you.

But don’t give up just yet, here are some tips for attracting a suitor with or without a mask.

Eyes are the window to the soul

Your mask covers most of your face and stops people from seeing that smile so if you spot someone hot while you’re out for a walk, what can you do? Don’t forget that your eyes are actually the best way of transmitting the irresistible message of attraction.

Wearing a mask enables you and the object of your attention to focus on meeting each other’s eyes, instead of the general look at someone’s head we typically give to strangers. When we have to take in all the details of a face, we actually only see a blur and often

miss the opportunity for connection.

Make each look count by setting the intention of connecting energetically with this person to let them feel your interest. Hold their gaze for a minimum of four seconds as anything beyond a cursory glance will register as personal interest and possibly lead to an opening line.

Pro tip: Give them the eye-brow flash. Rising our eyebrows is usually a sign of surprise or admiration so in the context of flirting this means “I’m very pleased to meet you”.

Let your body talk

You’ve probably heard that only seven percent of communication is verbal but most of us only worry about what to say when it comes to flirting.

The words are actually not that important, most of our attention is focused on facial expressions. The mask is again an impediment, but also creates an opportunity to change the rules of engagement.

You may be on a first date and doing the right thing by keeping the mask on (well done you for staying safe). If you want to communicate to your partner that you are attracted to them, make sure your body and feet are facing them as much as possible.

Your feet position (as well as theirs) is the biggest give away as they show exactly where we want to go. If they point away from the person you clearly are not giving them the right signal.

Pro tip: Tilt your head to show them you are listening and gently nod every now and then to reassure them you get what they are saying.

Opportunities for connection

The biggest gift we can give each other is time and attention, being fully present with someone is going to make a big difference. Build on the eye contact and body positioning by getting closer, gently testing the limits of their personal space (obviously only after you established that your interest is reciprocated).

Pro tip: Touch is a critical component to creating a connection as it promotes feelings of safety and builds trust. Caution is needed here as moving too fast and invading one’s personal space can backfire. Stick to casual touches on forearms, elbows and - if you’re not too worried about the virus, hands as these are ‘safe zones’ for most people.

Valentina Tudose is a relationship coach and founder of Happy Ever After. For more information visit happyeverafter.asia