Issue Three - Evil by Salient

ISSUE. 03

EVIL

THE TEAM Editors: Asher Emanuel & Ollie Neas editor@salient.org.nz Designer: Racheal Reeves designer@salient.org.nz News Editor: Stella Blake-Kelly news@salient.org.nz Arts Editor: Adam Goodall arts@salient.org.nz Film Editor: Gerald Lee Books Editor: Kurt Barber Visual Arts Editor: Rob Kelly Theatre Editor: Neal Barber Chief Feature Writer: Elle Hunt Junior Feature Writer: Fairooz Samy Chief Reporter: Nicola Wood Chief Sub-Editor: Carlo Salizzo CONTRIBUTORS Hayley Adams, Nathan Allan, Hilar y Beattie, Joe Bradley, Nick Cross, Richard D’Ath, Uther Dean, Martin Doyle, Andrew Donnelly, Matthew Ellison, Harr y Evans, Harriet Farquhar, Reed Fleming, Joe Gallagher, Stephen Gillam, Ryan Hammond, Amy Hodgkinson, Roxy Heart, Bridie Hood, Patrick Hunn, Leo Hyde, Patrick Kaiwai, Michael Kumove, Laetitia Laubscher, Luzie-Selene Lonsdale, Bing Lou, Prudence Lovelock, Alex Meagher, Molly McCarthy, Hamish McConnochie, Callum McDougal, Chris McIntyre, Alex Meagher, Phoebe Morris, Livvy Nonoa, Sam Northcott, Sam Phillips, Jonathan Price, Cassie Richards, Sharon Renfro, Will Robertson, Rajnesh Singh, Bas Suckling, Wilbur Townsend, Michael Warren, Doc Watson, Erika Webb, Phillipa Webb. CONTRIBUTORS OF THE WEEK: Cor y Knights and Jordan Keen, for bringing SalientTV back from the dead. C O N TA C T Level 2, Student Union Building Victoria University PO Box 600, Wellington Phone: 04 463 6766 Email: editor@salient.org.nz ADVERTISING Contact: Mark Maguire Phone: 04 463 6982 Email: sales@vuwsa.org.nz

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ABOUT US Salient is produced by independent student journalists, employed by, but editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association (VUWSA). Salient is a member of, syndicated and supported by the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). Salient is funded by Victoria University of Wellington students, through the student services levy. It is printed by Printcorp of Tauranga. Opinions expressed are not necessarily representative of those of ASPA, VUWSA, Printcorp or His Eternal Majesty, our Dark Lord Lucifer, but we at Salient are proud of our beliefs and take full responsibility for them.

JUSTICE."

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FAIROOZ SAMY ON REHABILITATION, CONT. PAGE 18

This issue is dedicated to sin.

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CONTENTS Editorial Top 10 News Very Serious Business News on the March LOL News Overheard At Vic The Week That Wasn't

THE COLUMNS

12. 13. 14. 15. 15. 40. 41. 41. 42. 42.

Partisan Hacks Political Porn with Hamish Mulled Whine With H.G. Beattie Science - What's It Up To? C.R.E.A.M Things You Already Know But Just Need To Be Told Roxy Heart & Prudence Lovelock Eat Your Fucking Greens Nothin' but Net Food

THE EVIL ISSUE

16. 18. 21. 23. 24. 26. 27. 28. 30.

What Makes a Criminal Doing the Time Why Cackling Film Villains are Making Society Stupid KONY 2012: All Your Friends are Doing It! Somebody Tell Satan that I Want My Fucking Swag Back Turning Sinning into Winning A Week Without Evil The Trouble With Talking A History of Evil

THE ARTS

32. 33. 34. 35. 36.

Theatre Visual Arts Music Film Books

REPRESENTATION & SERVICES

37. 38. 38. 39. 39.

Presidential Address VUWSA Clubs Officer Student Counselling Ngai Tauira Bent

SALIENT LOVES YOU

43. 44. 46. 47.

Notices Letters Puzzles Radio & Gig Guide

EVILIDITORIAL ☞ ASHER & OLLIE Surely you’ve seen Star Wars. In the first film, Darth Vader is the epitome of evil. Always the fashionista, shrouded in a metallic black suit, cape and helmet, the Dark Lord roams the Galactic Empire, crushing rebel and jedi alike in their campaign to return peace to the galaxy. He’s a really bad man. And the rebels are really good. Well, that’s how you feel watching the first film. Then, a funny thing happens. In The Empire Strikes Back it is revealed that Darth Vader is, in fact, the father of our babe-cum-hero Luke Skywalker; how could something so evil spawn something so good? By Return of the Jedi, things become confused. We realise that, not only is Vader the father of our hero, but he is actually a caring guy, somehow misled by a twisted past. Furthermore, in the prequels we learn that Vader was once considered the chosen one to bring peace to the galaxy; he was a hero turned evil by personal tragedy and the real politik of those in power. By this stage, we have learnt that what—on the face of it—was so fundamentally evil, was really far more complicated than that. All it took was understanding. Now, perhaps it may seem natural at this point to say, “fine, but that’s only Star Wars. It would be highly tenuous to draw any grand statements about the nature of morality from a piece of outdated science-fiction”. But, oh, that’s where you’d be wrong—and not just because Star Wars isn’t fiction. We were brought up on similar tales of good versus evil. Many of our grandparents or great grandparents have imparted stories to us of lives lived during war. We are told that then evil certainly did exist. There were the villains—Hitler,

Stalin, Tojo—all united under the banner of fascism as the Axis of Evil. And against them were the Allies, championing the cause of freedom, democracy and all things good. Nowadays, it can seem impossible to call anything evil. In a time where we are submerged in information, we are forced to acknowledge how little we understand about the causes of most things. The world has revealed itself to be a little more complex. Things are more All Quiet on the Western Front than Saving Private Ryan. Coming to terms with this is like watching Return of the Jedi: lifealtering, though slightly disappointing. We can no longer get away with the convenient reductivism of labelling this good and that evil. And while it’s disconcerting to no longer be able to dismiss certain people or belief systems as evil, what’s far more unsettling is realising that consequently one can’t easily consider themselves good. The tragic truth is we are part of a community that callously exploits foreign labour for our own convenience. We degrade the natural environment knowing that this will cause immense suffering to future generations, simply because we can’t be fucked changing our ways. In our own peaceful wee city, children live in crippling poverty, while we freak out when a flat white costs $4. Perhaps we can’t help being this way. But to not even attempt to understand the consequences of one’s actions is the one sure evil, and the ultimate disservice to that object we possess called a brain. Here’s a fucking revelation: Darth Vader wasn’t evil, and we aren’t good. Let’s not pretend otherwise.

3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 9. 11. 11.

☞ PHOTO: THE MO MACK

NEWS

REJECTED

DEADLY SINS ☞ CARLO SALIZZO

TEN MISDIRECTED ENTHUSIASM

NINE KARAOKE

EIGHT COLLAPSING THE MAUL

SEVEN COMPULSORY UNIONISM

SIX TIGHTS-AS-PANTS-ISM

FIVE SELF-REFERENCE

FOUR FEIGNED SURPISE

THREE HUSTLING

TWO LIBERTARIANISM

ONE BEING A STRAIGHT-UP CUNT

SCREENING THIS WEEK:

OPINION ON CAMPUS: WHAT DO WE CONSIDER EVIL? INTRODUCTION TO THE SALIENTTV CREW THE LESSER EVILS YOUTUBE.COM/SALIENTTV

⊗ NEWS ⊗

VIC AND VUWSA READY TO TALK BUT, ARE STUDENTS READY TO LISTEN? ☞ STELLA BLAKE-KELLY The details of the Student Forum are to go to wider student consultation before its implementation following a motion put forward by VUWSA President Bridie Hood at last Thursday’s meeting of the Academic Board. A detailed proposal outlining the principles, role and framework was presented to the Board, intended for it to be endorsed and forwarded to the University Council for final approval. However following Hood’s motion the document will instead be released to students, allowing them to engage in a consultation process before the Board can make any recommendations to Council on how the Forum functions. Though the Forum’s details were to be open for ongoing consultation, such would have taken place after the forum had been established in Trimester two. Speaking to her motion, Hood outlined her concerns that student consultation had neither occurred, nor been attempted, but associated that with “the nature of the third Trimester and the lack of anything concrete to consult on until now.” Explaining her reasoning behind the motion, she argued that “if the University wishes for the Forum to be truly ‘studentled’ and ‘independent’, and if students are to see the Forum as legitimate, genuine consultation must occur.” “I believe it is an oversight that this document has not been sent out for

student consultation before being tabled at this meeting today,” Hood said. The document was produced by a student representation working party, comprised of University delegates and VUWSA representatives from both 2011 and 2012 executives. One University delegate involved in its development, Assistant Vice-Chancellor (Academic) Associate Professor David Crabbe spoke on the spirit of the Forum. “The Student Forum is established on the principle of partnership between students and staff, in ensuring a strong and scholarly community,” he said.

compliment other avenues of student engagement. Whereby it recognises how established frameworks, such as VUWSA and Rep. Groups, have their own value to bring to the table, and incorporates them within the new representational body rather than seeking to replace them. Several members of the Academic Board raised concerns about how students from several faculties and schools, who had established their own representational frameworks, could be incorporated into the new system.

One obvious oversight was raised about how students with disabilities would face extra barriers in participating within the "...HOOD OUTLINED HER CONCERNS framework, and ensuring THAT STUDENT CONSULTATION HAD NEITHER their interests were OCCURRED, NOR BEEN ATTEMPTED..." accurately represented at the Forum. Explaining that it was intended to Hood also spoke on concerns the strengthen the staff-student relationship, students’ association had “about the he noted that it was part of a number functionality of the Forum.” of initiatives developed over the past “Specifically in regard to mechanisms few years that were important in ensuring the accountability of its strengthening the relationship between members, its democratic legitimacy and teaching and learning. whether it will be accepted by the wider Crabbe went on to add that the Forum student body as their truly representative was “a place for the student voice to body.” be heard, and thus one place for the partnership to be enacted.” Though the Forum will act as the University’s primary student representative body, underpinned with the element of universality that encompasses the entire student body, it is intended to

The schedule of how consultation will work has not been decided, but extended coverage of the details of the Student Forum will appear in Salient as developments occur.

⊗ NEWS ⊗

VERY

SERIOUS BUSINESS

☞ STELLA BLAKE-KELLY

STUDENT DRINKING DEFIES ECONOMIC THEORY, VOMIT CONTINUES TO TRICKLE DOWN

CAMPUS CLUBS GET A SHAKE UP - DIX EXPLAINS APPEARANCE OF COCKBURN

Increasing the cost of getting boozed won’t be enough to stop students’ bingey ways, as a new study has shown that they will continue to match any price the Government can throw at them. The AUT University study found that students don’t react much to price sensitivity, meaning they would be willing to spend more on alcohol in order to get their crunk on. Results showed that even if the price was increased by 25 per cent, consumption wouldn’t significantly change. Any attempts to discourage excessive drinking behavior through increased taxation would have to be “very, very high”. The results were analysed in the thesis of Masters student Nicola Stephenson, who concluded that it was social norms, rather than price, which controlled alcohol consumption. “Students believe that if it is normal and expected for a student to get—in the words of one of my colleagues—wasted as quickly as possible,” AUT Professor Andrew Parsons insightfully said.

A review of how support is given to clubs is currently underway, and could see the University take over from VUWSA as permanent funding provider. As funding is now coming from the Student Services Levy, the University has commissioned an independent review to find out whether they or VUWSA would provide the best value for students’ money. Associate Director of Campus Services, Rainsforth Dix said the review was being conducted by Lumin, an external consulting firm, and that clubs were being invited to participate. Lumin’s Robyn Cockburn is currently in contact with clubs and societies on campus gathering feedback on their experiences with current support services on offer. The review will offer a series of recommendations which the University will consider when they decide whether to take over, or contract the provision of clubs to VUWSA. It is not known whether clubs will indicate a dissatisfaction with VUWSA’s current club support, but anyone whose ever had to deal with University enrolments will surely be dubious as to the wisdom of introducing more institutional bureaucracy.

⊗ NEWS ⊗

BUSSED UP "THE COUNCIL COCKED UP"

☞ STEPHEN GILLAM Wellington Regional Councilor Daran Ponter minced no words last Tuesday when VUWSA hosted a forum for the discussion of Metlink's review of Wellington's bus routes. The forum, attended by around ten people, was hosted as an opportunity for the council to strengthen lines of communication towards the public and to field questions raised by students. One point of discussion included the possibility of student fares being introduced along the networks—an idea which saw a Facebook petition receive over 6000 ‘likes’ in support last year. “It is illogical to have a children's fare but not a student one, when both aren't making much money,” Ponter said. He explained that currently the main issues with bus services are duplicated routes and insufficient supply. Proposals to address this could see the elimination of the widely-used ‘Route 18’. “To remove duplication they've implemented single routes,” he said.

That efficiency would, however, come at the cost of the inter-campus buses. “I don't really have a defence for that,” he said. “I do have a problem with [the proposed] Route C.” Another student claimed that the routes were too focused on trimming numbers, leaving women's safety as an issue, particularly at night-time. Mr Ponter said that safe transport hubs would be placed throughout the city, but doubted their effectiveness. VUWSA Vice-President (Welfare) Ta'ase Vaoga said VUWSA will be entering a submission. "We need students to be more active in discussing these issues or it will be too late,” she said. Mr Ponter said that he feels the review may leave students hard-done by. “I'm skeptical of whether it can serve students,” he said. “We need to have that discussion, it's not just with students, but there are big equity issues.”

STUDENTS HAVE A GAY OLD TIME UNIQ O WEEK PARTY "PRETTY OUTRAGEOUS"

☞ NICOLA WOOD UniQ's O Week party showed that there is a large LGBT community at Victoria, but Voluntary Student Membership has left the University's queer student group struggling to find the resources to support them. Around 150 students packed Cuba Street's gay bar S&M's to capacity in a celebration VUWSA's Queer Officer Genevieve Fowler described as “pretty outrageous”. She told Salient that since the event UniQ had received a lot of Facebook traffic, with students sharing 'likes' and positive feedback. Despite the high level of interest in UniQ, Fowler said the end of compulsory students' association membership meant the support group would have to search for extra funding to keep up the level of advocacy they'd given queer students in the past.

“We don't really know how it's all going to pan out yet, but we're definitely not going to have as much moolah as before— which sucks,” she explained. Although there was still some uncertainty around where funding would come from Ms Fowler assured Salient that UniQ will remain “alive and well”, citing sponsorship recently granted from safe sex campaign group Get It On! as helpful. Fowler suggested that the stress put on clubs may reflect that the architects of the VSM Bill did not consider that many minority groups like LGBT students relied on students' association revenue for advocacy and support. “For some, university life and selfexpression isn't such a breeze. That's why we exist,” she said. She stated that UniQ and VUWSA would work hard to ensure Victoria remains a “great place to be gay” throughout 2012, and encouraged students to get involved.

NEWS ON THE

MARCH THE WORLD THIS WEEK ☛☛ After 244 years of imperialist dialectic, Encyclopædia Britannica ends its print operations. Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales opens “special occasion” champagne and urinates on a stack of old encyclopædias. ☛☛ Kony 2012 video causes backlash following premiere in Northern Uganda after many of Kony’s victims perceive the 30 minute film to be a reductive analysis of the complex geo-political situation in Central Africa. Bracelet sales are yet to slow. ☛☛ Propelled by two states’ entire bigoted might, super-superconservative Rick Santorum wins the Alabama and Mississippi primaries in the race for the Republican Party Presidential nomination, threatening only-mildly-conservative candidate Mitt Romney’s position as favourite. Just-one-super super-conservative candidate Newt Gingrich’s name is still Newt. ☛☛ Fiji’s military commander Frank Bainimarama disbands 130-yearold governing institution, the Great Council of Chiefs, without consultation with the Fijian people in pursuit of a “common and equal citizenry.” After six years as a dictator. ☛☛ Chinese leadership hopeful, Bo Xilai, is fired as Chongqing Communist Party leader after a controversy centreing around fears his expolice chief had fled to defect to the capitalist American consulate. Salient was assured by officials that capitalism hasn’t won yet. ☛☛ A Nelson women lays a complaint with supermarket franchise Countdown after discovering a packet of vegetarian lasagne on the shelf a month past its use-by date. A week later, she is reportedly still pretty upset about the whole damn ordeal.

YOUR STUDENTSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

ASSOCIATION

I n a c w Ho vice seek ad lp? and he VUWSA can provide help with lots of general issues. These may relate to academic matters, disability, mental health, appeals, accommodation, WINZ, Studylink, Hardship Assistance or general complaints. For more information or to arrange an appointment please contact our Student Advocate directly on advocate@vuwsa.org.nz or 463 6984. Alternatively check out www.vuwsa.org.nz Feel free to visit us anytime at the VUWSA Kelburn Office, Level 2, Student Union Building

⊗ NEWS ⊗

ABORTION REACHES SUPREME COURT ☞ NICOLA WOOD The latest chapter in a seven-year legal battle over abortion law began in the Supreme Court last Tuesday, and VUWSA's Women's Officer says students should pay attention to the proceedings. In Right to Life NZ v Abortion Supervisory Committee, Right to Life are alleging that not all abortions carried out in New Zealand are legal, and that the Abortion Supervisory Committee are failing their responsibility to oversee on behalf of the Government that the law surrounding the procedures is adhered to. The anti-abortion group lost their case in the Court of Appeal last year but were granted the right to appeal their case to the Supreme Court. The law currently states that the termination of a pregnancy must be approved by two certifying consultants—qualified doctors—who have judged that continuing the pregnancy would cause put a woman's physical or mental health in severe danger. If Right to Life win their appeal, the Abortion Supervisory Committee will have the power to intervene where they feel doctors have approved terminations for women whose circumstances do not fit these criteria. Supporters of Right to Life allege that almost all applications for abortions in New Zealand are approved, with little regard to the criteria set out in the law. Opponents argue that a politically-appointed board such as the ASC should not be given the power to overturn decisions by doctors made in line with medical best practice. VUWSA Women's Officer Sara Bishop told Salient that students—particularly women—should pay attention to the case as it could interfere with their ability to make decisions about their own bodies during the years they are forging relationships and deciding on their careers. She said she hoped the Supreme Court would rule against Right to Life, but hinted that she also supported loosening the criteria for granting abortions. “While it is still not ideal that the decision whether or not to continue a pregnancy is not made solely by women in this country, the next best is women and qualified doctors,” she explained. LifeChoice, Victoria's anti-abortion student group encouraged their members to attend the Court's public gallery if they had a personal interest in the case. The club would not be taking an official position on the case, but hoped that it would promote discussion about abortion. “LifeChoice focuses on the intrinsic value of the human life (starting at conception) and the social issues surrounding abortion,” the group's President Mary-Anne Evers told Salient. “[We are] a club focused on discussion and education on campus, so we are not interested in the court case from a club perspective,” she said. An Official Information Act request by pro-choice group ALRANZ recently revealed that the Crown has spent $387,585 on its legal defense against Right to Life so far. A judgment from the Supreme Court is expected to be at least several weeks away.

LOL ☞ HARRY EVANS & MOLLY McCARTHY

POPE BENEDICT SMELLS LIKE A RAW DOG IN THE FOREST Pope Benedict XVI is smelling better than a freshly transubstantiated goblet of blood these days following the release of his eau de cologne, made for exclusive use on his wrists and neck. Smell-maker Silvana Casoli said she wanted to recreate the smell of the German woods and wildlife of the pontiff's childhood. To do this she imagined the smells he would smell "when praying at the Grotto of Lourdes”. Casoli has previously made scents for the general clergy, 'Water of hope' and 'Water of Faith', but Benedict ain't sharing this one. However comments on a major news site indicate that the public are less than impressed, with one asking whether the cologne is ''made from the tears of children''. Another asked whether it was being used "to mask the stink of corruption”. Salient opines that he probably just wants to smell good while rolling about in the popemobile and avoiding condoms and eager nuns.

SARKOZY'S SON IS A CUNT Apparently throwing random shit at police officers is très chic if you’re a Parisian teen. French President Nicolas Sarkozy was forced to eat humble pie this week after his 15-year-old son Louis and his friends threw tomatoes, rolled-up paper and marbles at a policewoman from the courtyard of the Elysée. Despite the President’s tough position on crime, charges were dropped after he fronted up with an apology on behalf of his son. We can only assume that Louis was too busy to do the same.

SMOKING: NOT OUR FUTURE; DESTROYING OUR PAST Two Slovakian tween-rebels accidentally set a historical monument on fire earlier this month when they took their experimentation with smoking from behind the school bikesheds to the base of a 700-year-old castle. The boys, aged 11 and 12, were found at the Krasna Horka castle by emergency services who had been called to the site of the burning fortress. Although damage to the castle was extensive, the Slovak National Museum reported that about 90 per cent of historical collections were saved. The moral of the story? Smoking not only harms your unborn baby, but a big hunk of gothic architecture, too.

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QUEER AVENGERS TAKE ON MEDIA SALIENT ASPIRES TO BE SIDE-KICK

☞ PHILLIPA WEBB It wasn’t Glitz Glam and Trans at Anvil House last Thursday; instead there was a tough message for New Zealand media. The Queer Avengers press conference saw members of the transgender community express their outrage at what they consider to be a notoriously transphobic New Zealand media. Transphobia, which is defined as hostility towards people who are transgender or who otherwise transgress traditional gender norms, is a topic which has recently sparked a string of debates following recent advertising campaigns and articles within the media. Most notably were a Dominion Post column written by Rosemary McLeod, and a Libra Tampon advertisement. One press conference attendee said what McLeod had written was a direct attack and disregard for the group that is more than just stilettos, make-up, and wigs.

“The archaic quip ‘he/she’ is not something we like to be called. I am sitting here in front of you, wearing a skirt. Why can’t you just call me a woman?” they said. The Libra tampon advertisement, which was later pulled following widespread criticism, showed the contrast between ‘real women’ and their counterparts. “That ad is just trying to define what it means to be a woman. Just because we can’t menstruate, doesn’t make us any less female.” The panel’s message outlined that if the media changed its portrayal of the transgender community, the perception of this group in society would be changed. “Transphobia is affecting the lives of many. Suicide among transgender teenagers is five times higher than other groups. Something has to change,” a panelist said.

FREE SHIT!

DUE TO OUR ETERNAL BENEVOLENCE, SALIENT IS GIVING AWAY TWO FREE(!) COPIES OF THE THING ON DVD. The Thing is a prelude to John Carpenter's classic 1982 film of the same name, about a group of scientists in the Antarctic who are confronted by a shape-shifting alien that assumes the appearance of the people that it kills.

166 Willis Street, Wellington www.trinityhotel.co.nz /trinityhotel /Eclipse Bar

To win this fucking awesome prize, all you have to do is send us a drawing of the most frightful alien monster thing that you can possibly imagine. Points will be awarded for creativity, colour and peversity. Drawings can be sent by email to editor@salient. org.nz, or dropped off at the Salient offices behind the Hunter Lounge on level 3 of the Hunter Building.

⊗ NEWS ⊗

“OVERHEARD” VIC

OVERHEARD IN MDIA 209:

Tutor: “How did you find the Marx reading?” Student: “It was quite intense, found it difficult to take anything in.” Tutor: “So it became just like marks on a page?” Francesca Dutt-Maharaj

OVERHEARD IN MACLAURIN:

"The guy sitting infront of me was watching porn during the lecture, and it wasnt even that good!" Rangiora Trotman-Peita

OVERHEARD IN KELBURN:

“And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.” Duke Pomare

OVERHEARD IN THEA302:

“If someone doesn’t txt you back it’s clearly because they were so excited they fainted” Ashleigh Pope

OVERHEARD DURING CLASS DISCUSSION ABOUT DIAMONDS AS EXAMPLE OF MARXIST FROZEN LABOUR:

“The ice yo missus be blingin is congealed labour dogg” Cody Rapley

OVERSEEN IN KIRK FOYER;

First year student leaning against Kirk 303 swing doors at roughly 10.50. Doors open....first year is no more. Emma Webley

OVERHEARD IN POLS 358:

“Hi, I’m running for class rep. I’m currently running the Vote or Die Campaign - this is where if you don’t vote for me, you die. Aaron Hape

OVERHEARD IN HIST 327 (MAGIC AND POLITICS)

Lecturer: "For Defense against the Dark Arts, I charge extra.." Chels Saywell

OVERHEARD IN KELBURN

First year: “At the big dairy” Second first year: “do you mean the supermarket?” Bee Timperley EMAIL SNIPPETS OF VIC LIFE TO OVERHEARD@SALIENT.ORG.NZ, OR FIND OVERHEARD@VIC ON FACEBOOK.

GERRY BROWNLEE IS REALLY NOT TOO AWESOME AYE ☞ RYAN HAMMOND Gerry Brownlee was caught interfering in state-owned media for the second time this week. On Wednesday night, Close Up ran a poll asking the audience who they thought was the most handsome politician. The result showed 84 per cent of the 1200 participants thought Winston Peters was most handsome, with only 2.4 per cent voting for Brownlee. It was revealed to Salient by an anonymous source that Mr. Brownlee contacted Close Up demanding he be given the chance to dispute the result on live television. Having his request declined, Brownlee then contacted the chairman of TVNZ, John Anderson

Free speech and anti-smacking law activists around the country are protesting the tyranny of the minister, claiming that his interference— based largely on political and personal difference—is unethical and inappropriate in the context of a free and democratic society. Paul Webster, Victoria University’s expert on media policy, said that it is highly unusual for a minister to demand a right of response to a live show, especially one that doesn’t concern his policy portfolio. He further warned that this is not a path that should be taken lightly, lest we end up with a media system like that of Fiji's in recent years. Brownlee’s attacks on the "FREE SPEECH AND ANTI-SMACKING LAW freedom of the media have ACTIVISTS AROUND THE COUNTRY ARE seen many wonder where PROTESTING THE TYRANNY OF THE MINISTER..." he will draw the line. Salient is vehemently opposed to censorship at any level and shall be demanding to be put on the show. following the issue closely. Salient’s source confirms that he was As of midnight on production night, patched through to stake his claim. Salient understands that Brownlee is Peters, never one to miss an opportunity, in talks with Victoria’s Chancellor Ian took the chance to flash his million dollar McKinnon about canceling this (and all grin, remarking “I think it’s disgraceful subsequent) issues of Salient because that Gerry stuffs his face at the public redacted. It was implied that, due to trough all day long only to sell the trough recent changes to the operation of to his rich mates.” student unions, the University should “The average New Zealander needs to gain complete editorial control of the own a share of the trough, or else we magazine. For further developments, read will become the runt of the world’s litter,” any further issues of this magazine that Peters said. may or may not be printed.

⚡ COLUMNS ⚡

VIC LABOUR

VIC NATS

Young people are faced with being relegated to the growing unemployment scrapheap; a heap being ignored by the Government, despite a massive 24.2 per cent of 15-19 year olds being unemployed or not in school/training.

The greatest social evil that New Zealand currently faces is the way in which our society perceives controversial topics as taboo thus rendering debate surrounding the matter moot.

A Labour government will ensure that all under-18s are in training or a job by converting unemployment benefits to apprenticeships, retaining Interest Free Student Loans and increasing tertiary funding. National’s plan consists of cutting tertiary funding and slashing youth wages. The only way to a richer, smarter, greener New Zealand is by getting our young people earning or learning.

We, as a society come face to face with evils such as child abuse. We choose to sweep it under the carpet rather than have a debate that comes to the root of the problem. Many times, the only voices we do hear are from the two extremes that end up doing more harm than good! ▷ Rajnesh Singh

▷ Reed Fleming

SALIENT ASKED,

PARTISAN

"WHAT IS THE GREATEST SOCIAL EVIL NEW ZEALAND IS CURRENTLY FACING?"

THE HACKS RESPOND...

ACT ON CAMPUS

GREENS AT VIC

NZ FIRST

New Zealand currently suffers from an education system that sees one in five school-leavers not having the necessary skills to get a job.

New Zealand faces a raft of social challenges, and to pick just one is impossible. Our alarming rate of child poverty however, is of particular concern to the Greens. One quarter of New Zealand children are growing up in poverty. That’s 270,000 kids, and our country’s future. The current government is not taking adequate steps to ensure we give all children in Aotearoa a great start to life—a right that everyone deserves.

Unemployment. People who want a job, but can’t get a job. There are 66,500 15-24 year olds in New Zealand who are not in any form of education, employment or training. Employers aren’t willing to employ people if they haven’t got experience, the right qualifications or know the right people. It’s no longer a matter of ‘go to university and you’re guaranteed a good job’. There is a severe lack of vision, new job opportunities and investment in training by the government. Its economic policies destroy jobs—not create them.

A smart effective education scheme is the answer to get our poorest citizens into work, into jobs, and into higher wages. ACT is currently in the process of setting up a charter schools trial, which aims to give parents more choice and students a better chance of academic achievement. ▷ Michael Warren

▷ Harriet Farquar

▷ Amy Hodgkinson

⚡ COLUMNS ⚡

POLITICAL

PORN WITH HAMISH

BANKS HAS A CHANCE TO ATONE FOR HIS PAST SINS ☞ HAMISH MCCONNOCHIE The first week of university is a chance to make a first impression. A chance to meet new peers, a chance to reconnect with those acquaintances you only chat to outside lectures, a chance to try and reinvent yourself as a “cool kid”. For a small group of students, the first week of uni was their moment to wave goodbye to any chance of being a “cool kid” when they choose to don canary yellow t-shirts, ACT on Campus’ infamous calling card. ACT on Campus is surely the most unpopular of all youth wings; if you want proof, look up Rick Giles’ “my argument is so powerful” appearance on TV3’s Sunrise. Two or three students stood together behind the ACT banner during VUWSA’s Clubs Week, attracting, from what I saw, a dozen or so signatures. National, the Greens and Labour all had stands for their respective youth wings, with MPs attending to encourage students to sign up. I asked ACT on Campus where their sole MP, the Member (or as some are now saying, the Minister) for Epsom, John Banks was. On the Monday, they said he was “too conservative” and, as such, would not be attending. This view was backed up by an ACT on Campus member who told me he sees “Banksie” as being “more National” and “not that consistent with some of ACT’s core principles”. This member added that this view is widely held in ACT on Campus. It’s not just ACT on Campus members who aren’t fans of Banks. Stephen Whittington, ACT’s candidate for Wellington Central, held an election night party, which was attended by Whitireia

journalism student Robbie Parkes. At the party, ACT’s Hutt South candidate Alex Speirs told Parkes that “A John Banks-led ACT is not ACT”. Whittington later told the Herald’s Derek Cheng that Banks is “economically ignorant and interventionist”. There is such a dislike of Banks that some libertarians have formed a “secret” or hidden Facebook group. The group’s members have discussed what strategy is necessary to minimise Banks’ impact and have discussed breaking away to form a new party. Salient has acquired screenshots of the group’s page. See the online edition of this article to view the images. Banks himself claims that the party has always had socially conservative and liberal fractions, with members joined by supporting free-market reforms. There is evidence to suggest that Banks is ACT in the economic sense. In 1981, Banks won National’s nomination for Whangarei, beating sitting MP John Elliott at the ballot. The day after the ballot, the Auckland Star ran an article describing Banks as “a rightwinger” and “an avid private enterpriser”. Banks told the Star that he believe “[t] he country had to give people incentives to create and work”, suggesting a 20 per cent flat tax. The reporter asked Banks if the tax would apply to personal and company, Banks responded “[p]ersonal, I don’t believe in company tax.” Later in the article, Banks advocated the abolition of the dole. During his early terms in Parliament, Banks was part of an “alternative caucus”

which believed in free market ideals, in contrast to Muldoon’s more interventionist approach. Ruth Richardson, who delivered National’s “mother of all budgets” in the 1990s, was a member of this alternative caucus. Banks’ liberal views shifted to conservatism and in 1985 and 1986, Banks was one of the most vocal opponents to the Homosexual Law Reform Bill; in his biography he states that the bill was “morally rephrensible” whilst at the same time “never believ[ing] that homosexuality should be illegal”. Most infamously, Banks once said that “six inches of barbed wire shoved up gay mens’ arses” was “a waste of barbed wire”. Richard Prebble and Roger Douglas, both pivotal in the formation of the ACT Party, voted for the Homosexual Law Reform Bill. Banks politics have changed overtime to see him become, as Cathy Odgers told NBR, “conservative” and “a pragmatist”. Paul Goldsmith, Banks’ biographer, refers to Banks as using “normal political pragmatism”, noting his stance on abortion as a departure from his usual stance. It will be interesting to see if Banks will revert back to the 1981 version of himself, as by 1996 he was touted on the cover of the Sunday Star Times as a potential leader of a Christian coalition party. He has the perfect chance to advocate the economic reforms he initially campaigned on, and the chance to prove ACT’s supporters that their first impressions of him were wrong.

⚡ COLUMNS ⚡

STAYING EXCITED ABOUT UNIVERSITY (TO BE TAKEN WITH A GRAIN OF SALT BECAUSE YOU MIGHT BE STUDYING SOMETHING CRAP) The first couple of weeks of university are a smorgasbord of laughs. The horror of working full-time over summer has subsided and there’s very little work to be done save the war for decent tutorial times. You’re just not that busy. Is it possible to prolong this first-week excitement? Probably not. Your attendance gets fewer and further between. Plus the commitment to your SoundCloud fans gets ever more pressing. If you don’t lay down Sierra Leone over the Lion King theme tune, who the hell will? I don’t give advice, but if I did, this might be it. You must not let the grass be greener. Staying excited relies on the memory of other, shittier times. Didn’t you spend summer sweltering in some polyester shirt? Smiling without your eyes at the spawn of Satan dragging greasy fingers across a glass case that you later had to clean? Nah, you’re better than that. You probably worked for your dad. Maybe you worked for a friend’s dad? (Note to self: do not introduce your smarter friends to your parents. Note to said smarter friend:

you aren’t in the will. Run along now and work to pay for my holidays.) Like I say, the grass is not greener. You must have interests. I don’t have hobbies myself, because I am a hermit. It is a lifestyle choice, the side effects of which include saying [to taxi drivers, on a rare Saturday night] “Doesn’t seeing all this make you sad?” They don’t respond, because they’re thinking “your fucking $10 fare makes me sad, prude.”

(That last one not so much a hobby as a lifestyle choice.) It must be noted that the Kardashian family do not count as an interest. Nor does hatred of the Kardashian family. If they come up in conversation, you’ve failed. I’ve typed the hateful name twice now. This puts me in something like the ninth circle of hell (treachery) AND it’ll also probably fuck with the ads that come up on the sidebar of my facebook.

And now, the real sermon: Enjoying your subject matter probably "I READ IN COSMO THAT MOONHOPPERS ARE doesn’t go amiss either. If you don’t enjoy it, either THE NEW VIBRATORS.” shut up and stop doing it OR rejoice in the fact that if you continue, Anecdotes aside, I have it on excruciatingly good authority that hobbies you’ll be able to afford a house full of Country Road mugs. That said, I too pass time and facilitate conversation have waded the mangroves of 100-level at parties. “I take a photo of my own commerce. I heartily encourage those face every day as part of a time-lapse dolefully wading behind me to attend project.” “I visit old folks’ homes and sing lectures while being realistic and taking James Blunt songs.” “I read in Cosmo up crosswords. Or cross words. Swearing that Moonhoppers are the new vibrators.” releases endorphins. Yay science.

⚡ COLUMNS ⚡

SCIENCE WHATS IT UP TO?

CLIMATE CHANGE: WE’RE BONED

☞ BAS SUCKLING Climatologists reporting for the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) say we are seeing climate change caused by the actions of humans. We’re burning nature’s vast stores of coal, oil and natural gas and releasing thousands of tonnes of carbon dioxide (CO2) into the atmosphere. CO2 is a greenhouse gas that traps the Sun’s radiation within the lower atmosphere. If current trends continue, this is projected to raise global temperatures anywhere between 2-5°C. What’s wrong with a little climate change you may ask? Melting glaciers and precipitation are causing some rivers to overflow, and others to dry up. Habitats are being destroyed and many species are in danger of extinction. Extreme weather events are becoming more frequent and destructive. Arctic sea ice is melting faster every year, sea level is rising, and there are growing fears of a shutdown of the ocean currents

responsible for heating and cooling different parts of the earth.

can get involved with Generation Zero, a nationwide collective of young people who are working to make New Zealand carbon neutral by 2050, running both small and large environmental projects with a particular focus on the political sphere. Check their website for more details: generationzero.org.nz.

In choosing not to act on recommendations made by mainstream science, young New Zealanders will not only inherit massive ecological debt and a country further reliant on fossil fuels, we will also be lumbered with a hidden financial debt because of our country’s failure to meet its international commitments. Yikes.

To those who still doubt the legitimacy of climate science, the question you should be asking yourselves is not “Should I believe those climate change lackeys?” Instead ask “What should we do, if anything, right now?” The physical world doesn’t respond to our beliefs, rather our actions. If there is a legitimate prediction of severe risk to the entire planet presented by a large number of experts in climate science, shouldn’t we be taking it seriously and talking about mitigation of that risk? It seems foolish to outright reject the findings of experts because you are skeptical of some of the details. Check out wonderingmind42’s YouTube channel playlist entitled How It All Ends where he breaks down the entire complex issue piece by piece and approaches it eloquently with intelligence and logic.

Want to do something about it? You

Better get yer coat, storm's a brewin’.

The IPCC recommends emissions reductions of 25-40 per cent below 1990 levels by 2020, and 80-95 per cent below 1990 levels by 2050, to even have a 50 per cent chance of not crossing the 2°C threshold. New Zealand’s current target for emissions reduction is a conditional 10-20 per cent reduction by 2020 and a reduction of 50 per cent by 2050.

C.R.E.A.M.

CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME NUCLEAR ENERGY SUX

☞ WILBUR TOWNSEND We used to think of radioactive atoms as little electric coconuts: clever little things filled with energy for us to harvest. Unfortunately, it’s become clear that they’re more like rotten walnuts: a pain to open and a disappointment once you’re in. Nuclear energy was an awesome idea, but ‘awesome’ doesn’t always make for optimal policy. Even if you ignore the possibility of a semi-apocalyptic nuclear meltdown, atomic energy is more grotty and expensive than a uStay apartment. Let’s start in America. When nuclear energy was first developed, the Yanks burst into excitement. ‘Electricity too cheap to meter’, the nuclear lobby clamored, rallying public support. That PR was for a reason: they refused to start building until they were given liability

caps, limits on how much they could get sued if the reactor blew up. They insisted that the risk was too scary—no firm who could build a nuclear reactor would risk bankruptcy like that. It seems that once they accounted for the damage that an accident would cause other people, nuclear wasn’t worth it. Unfortunately, the American government agreed that risking tens of thousands of deaths wasn’t as important as ‘progress’. The liability caps came in and the plants were built. However, the budding nuclear state slowed down quick; America’s youngest reactors were built in the ‘70s. At first, companies reckoned that you knock one up for a few hundred mill, but they couldn’t fool themselves forever. It actually costs about seven billion dollars to build a nuclear reactor because, funnily

enough, making a machine that literally destroys the building blocks of reality is quite hard. Also tricky was that nuclear energy makes a lot of nuclear waste: that shit is really bad for you and it doesn’t go away. Some solutions were aired. For example, Italy’s government funnelled American and European nuclear waste to the mafia, who in turn bought off Somalian authorities and secretly dumped it off the East African coast. Unfortunately the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami broke up the rusting barrels, causing Somalia’s shoreline to become a radioactive hazard, so that’s an approach unlikely to be repeated. When we’re hiring the fucking mafia to get rid of their waste we must be getting desperate. The ‘Nuclear Age’ should be a forgotten pipe dream, but governments aren’t giving up. The Americans promised ten billion dollars for two new reactors in 2010. Some fads from the ‘70s are cool: think brown vinyl chairs or plastic-framed glasses. Some ‘70s fads are less cool, like wasting billions of dollars risking thousands of deaths. Nuclear energy is in the latter category: it’s expensive and it’s dangerous and it just doesn’t make sense.

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WHAT

M A KES A

C R I MINAL

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT NATURE VS. NURTURE

☞ ELLE HUNT

ARE MONSTERS BORN OR MADE? SALIENT CHIEF FEATURE WRITER ELLE HUNT INVESTIGATES TO WHAT EXTENT PARENTAL FAILURE CAN BE USED TO EXCUSE OR EXPLAIN THE CRIMES OF A MINOR.

old from the perspective of a woman struggling to move on from her teenage son’s horrific crime, the release of the film adaptation of Lionel Shriver’s awardwinning novel We Need To Talk About Kevin has reignited debate over an age-old question: nature versus nurture. Can Eva Katchadourian—successful entrepreneur, reluctant mother, who tried to warm to her first-born but couldn’t help hissing at him through gritted teeth that “Mummy was happy before little Kevin came along”—be held to blame for his subsequent massacre of his schoolmates? Or was the callous, calculating Kevin, as Eva implies, born evil? “Whether Kevin was innately twisted or was mangled by his mother’s coldness is a question with which the novel struggles, but which it ultimately fails to answer,” wrote Shriver in The Guardian. “That verdict is the reader’s job.” But it is also the law’s job. We Need To Talk About Kevin asks whether parents can be held responsible for their children’s actions; it does not explore to what extent their failure should be taken into account in the sentencing for their crimes. This question is a thorn in the side of the law, which cannot consider an offender’s being ‘born evil’, just as it cannot ignore mitigating factors that contributed to their offending. Cruel, cold and contemptuous, Shriver’s Kevin is a character constructed to epitomise evil. But use of the term in a legal context, being subject as it is to historical, cultural and religious pressures, is unhelpful. Professor Simon BaronCohen of Cambridge University has instead suggested that evil be interpreted as the “erosion of empathy”, which is “scientifically tractable”: “Psychopaths such as Kevin has zero degrees of affective empathy (they don’t care about someone else’s feelings) but have excellent cognitive empathy (… able to manipulate others through deception).” Therefore, Baron-Cohen concludes, it would be “uncaring” for civilised society to not “show compassion for the killer, because his actions are the result of his neurology”. Attributing offending to biological make-up is a controversial opinion that nonetheless has basis in scientific fact. The work of German-British psychologist Hans Eysenck is taken as evidence that most personality traits are caused

EVIL by properties of the brain, while closer to home, a longitudinal study of 1,037 children born in Dunedin in 1972 and 1973 revealed a protein that, when combined with maltreatment in childhood, is associated with convictions for violence in adulthood. Given these findings, Kevin’s behaviour could be explained by a genetic predisposition towards a lack of empathy, control or moral sense, which seems to largely absolve Eva of responsibility for her son’s crimes. Such an argument does little to diminish the cries of parental failure from the public and media. “Modern-day mothers get stuck with virtually blanket responsibility for how their kids turn out,” wrote Shriver, an advocate of ‘childless by choice’, in The Guardian. “How we came to conceive of children as passive objects upon which adults act is beyond me.” In researching Kevin, Shriver came across studies and editorials that placed the blame for school shootings squarely on the parents, several of whom had been sued for negligence by the families of murdered children. “My own reading failed to substantiate that most shooters suffered in any exceptional sense... Nevertheless, countless sociologists have strained to explain the phenomenon in a way that turns the culprits into victims.” “I’m willing to grant a gradated diminishment of responsibility in relation to an offender’s youth,” Shriver conceded in an online Q&A session with Good Morning America. “But don’t tell me that a 15-year-old who shoots his teacher hasn’t a clue he’s doing something wrong.” Although there is no explicit reference made to parental failure, abuse or neglect under New Zealand sentencing legislation, the age of the offender is taken into account, as is “any other... mitigating factor” that the court sees fit. “Some of the issues that might reduce

where there is evidence that the abuse contributed to the offending—though this may not have a big effect on the eventual sentence.” In the sentencing of 16-year-old Raurangi Marino for the rape of a five-year-old "...IT WOULD BE "UNCARING" FOR CIVILISED girl—a crime that captured SOCIETY TO NOT "SHOW COMPASSION FOR THE the collective outrage of KILLER, BECAUSE HIS ACTIONS ARE THE RESULT New Zealand’s people and media—Judge Phillip Cooper OF HIS NEUROLOGY"." took into account Marino’s dysfunctional family background, which involved drugs, alcohol, gang connections, and physical and sexual abuse. Marino’s youth, upbringing, remorse and early guilty plea reduced a starting point of 18 years imprisonment by four-and-a-half years; as his three sentences for rape, are rightly or wrongly held up to scrutiny grievous bodily harm and burglary can by society and the media. Marino’s be served concurrently, he will likely be mother Lavinia Wall has told journalists eligible for parole after serving a third of that she failed “a good boy, a little his ten-year sentence. (Marino himself naughty”: “I didn’t safeguard my children, has said that he does not intend to apply and I didn’t apply myself to looking after for parole until he has served five years.) them”. But other comments she made Sensible Sentencing Trust director Garth McVicar sees this as putting Marino’s rights ahead of those of his victim. He, like Shriver, believes that offenders’ troubled youth should not be used to explain their wrongdoing. “We don’t believe we can make excuses,” he says, noting that Marino’s consumption of alcohol and marijuana in the hours prior to the rape was frequently referred to in media reports of the case. “Once you move down that line of thought, where do you stop? We’re not supportive of someone’s upbringing [being considered a mitigating factor in sentencing] because, basically, we’d be creating a rod for our own backs.” That said, McVicar believes parents need to be held accountable for their children’s crimes, noting that “in some European countries, parents are sitting in the cells with their children”. He argues

"THIS QUESTION IS A THORN IN THE SIDE OF THE LAW, WHICH CANNOT CONSIDER AN OFFENDER'S BEING 'BORN EVIL', JUST AS IT CANNOT IGNORE MITIGATING FACTORS THAT CONTRIBUTED TO THEIR OFFENDING." the sentence are not really mitigating of culpability, but are really about the personal circumstances of the offender, justifying a more lenient sentence,” says Dr Yvette Tinsley of Victoria’s Faculty of Law. “One of the factors that courts have taken into account is sexual or physical abuse suffered by the offender

that introducing similar measures in New Zealand could “spark a debate that this country needs to have.” “Ultimately, as the child walks that fine line from being a child to being an adult, parents need to be responsible up to that point.” Though minors, under New Zealand law, are not considered blameless for their crimes, the parents of underage criminals

in the same interview—“They call me a bad mother and [say] I have brought up horrible children”—suggest she felt forced to respond to immense public pressure to take responsibility for her son’s crime. The law’s complicated and contentious interpretation of nature versus nurture warrants further clarification. If we are are to believe that ‘monsters’ such as Kevin are a product of their upbringing, tackling child poverty (where substance, physical, sexual and emotionally abuse is statistically more likely) should be of utmost priority for the Government. But accounting for scientific findings that an inclination towards crime is a matter of genetics suggests that changes need to be made to New Zealand’s criminal justice system. The ongoing results of Growing Up In New Zealand, a new longitudinal study of almost 7,000 babies born in the upper North Island between February 2009 and June 2010, are expected to be relevant to this end. In the meantime, Shriver raises a pertinent point—that biology and upbringing combine to create that most unpredictable of motivations, human nature: “Parents are people too, and their emotions are sometimes going to depart from script. Moreover, children are people too, which means that to give them at least partial responsibility for how they turn out, and for whether they murder their classmates, is to take them seriously as fully human.” ▲

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DOI NG TI ME THE

THE SHAME OF OUR JUSTICE SYSTEM

☞ FAIROOZ SAMY

WHEN MICHAEL CURRAN STRANGLED 24 YEAR OLD NATASHA HAYDEN TO DEATH IN 2005, IT WAS AN ACT OF EVIL. WHEN CURRAN MURDERED AALIYAH MORRISSEYHIS NEIGHBOUR’S TODDLER- WHILE OUT ON BAIL FOR HAYDEN’S DEATH, THE QUESTION BECAME, WHICH WAS A GREATER ACT OF EVIL? CURRAN’S KILLING OF AN INNOCENT CHILD OR THE FACT THAT THE JUSTICE SYSTEM HAD RELEASED A DANGEROUS CRIMINAL BACK IN TO OUR MIDST?

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here are those, like Sensible Sentencing Trust spokesman Garth McVicar, who would lay the blame squarely on a “soft” justice system, bastardised by a left-wing agenda and too focused on humanising criminals while victims are left out in the cold. To the untrained eye, the SST appeals to our sensibilities by tapping in to the basest of all senses—justice and retribution. When society encounters senseless brutality, our first instincts are to demand a penalty, not merely as a

People like Curran may be driven by unfathomable rage, but many prisoners are perfectly capable of remorse and change. If we agree that it’s in society’s best interests to rehabilitate as many wrong-doers as it can, then where do we draw the line of worthiness? There’s an important distinction in the public consciousness between criminal offending related to drug and alcohol addiction and that relating to incomprehensible psychological factors. The former is believed to be a driving factor for 80 per cent of criminals currently in the nation’s justice

"THE SST IS A FUNDAMENTALIST EXTREMIST RIGHT-WING GROUP WHOSE ESPOUSAL OF EXCESSIVE PENALTIES AND SCAREMONGERING IS ROOTED IN ANGER AND HATRED. " deterrent to future law-breakers but to appease our inherent need for fairness. This however, may be a short-sighted approach. The SST is a fundamentalist extremist right-wing group whose espousal of excessive penalties and scaremongering is rooted in anger and hatred. Yet, they aren’t the only voices calling for reprimand over redemption. A 2008 survey of 500 New Zealanders found that 75 per cent thought sentences were “too soft”, with only 1 per cent contesting that they were too tough. Only 36 per cent had full trust in the justice system, while 40 per cent had a fear of crime affecting their lives. The irony of demanding longer sentences is that it simultaneously contributes to higher rates of incarceration. During the 80s, the ‘lock ‘em up and throw away the key’ approach to penal justice experienced a surge in popularity. Where in 1992, the incarceration rate in New Zealand was 119 for every 100,000 people, it’s 203 now, arguably because statistics indicate that the longer a person spends in prison, the more likelihood that they’ll return to prison. Regardless, Justice Minister Judith Collins believes that tougher sentences deter criminals and help to keep the public safe. Criminals, as the National government sees them, are menaces who forfeit their rights when they break the moral and legal laws governing society. Yet, does committing a crime make someone inherently immoral, and therefore undeserving of our help?

system. However, when brought before the courts, only around one in seven offenders will be sentenced to drug and alcohol rehabilitation or counselling as part of their sentence. While many people would agree that punishment is the cornerstone of the justice system, society is only punishing itself when it elects not to push for the treatment of criminals with substanceabuse problems. Once released, offenders who either began their criminal careers with addictions or who developed them in jail are more likely to reoffend, causing more harm to themselves and the community, and burdening an over capacitated justice system. In 2011, it was estimated that 25 per cent of all inmates would return to jail within a year and a half of release, and their continuing drug and alcohol habits were cited as causal features. This isn’t limited to those with histories of criminal activity

and organised crime. One of the most striking issues is that of drink driving—of the staggering 30,000 people convicted of drink-driving offences each year, a mere 5 per cent receive court-mandated treatment. The role that substance abuse plays in driving crime is well documented. So why are perpetrators with this kind of treatable compulsion not targeted when the system is in the best position to make a change? The answer is disheartening. We have a nationwide lack of rehabilitation and treatment centres in community, which reduces the likelihood that those who receive help in prison will sustain their sobriety when released. Judith Collins herself declared the system a “moral and fiscal failure”, and despite promises to reduce reoffending, has done little to ensure that necessary steps—such as substance-abuse treatment—are more widely available. In 2011, The Listener revealed that, of its $1.1 billion budget, the Department of Corrections only spends $3.4 million on drug and alcohol rehabilitation for convicts. Offenders who serve less than two years are unlikely to be offered these services, despite the potentially

"WE HAVE A NATIONWIDE LACK OF REHABILITATION AND TREATMENT CENTRES IN OUR COMMUNITIES..."

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deadly consequences of their probable reoffending. The mindset seems to be that when ‘ordinary’ people commit crimes, they aren’t ‘bad’ enough to warrant serious interventionary measures. The emphasis is placed on paying their debt to society, rather than improving their education and outlooks, which would see them better positioned to become— and remain—law-abiding citizens when released.

Other countries are attempting an experimental 'humane' approach to rehabilitation. Norway’s Bastoy Prison is home—quite literally—to some of the nation’s most heinous felons. Located on an island 74 km south of Oslo, Bastoy has no bars or gates and only minimal guards. It employs a penal philosophy characteristic of Norway’s approach to its people, rationalising that a regressive system does not work, and that the key to successful and sincere reintegration for criminals is humane treatment. Inmates are taught personal responsibility and respect by keeping regular jobs on the complex, such as operating the prison’s ferry, making their own meals, chopping wood, and tending to the animals on the prison’s land. Many of their jobs are environment-related. They learn about the agricultural process, and are then put in charge of growing their own organic vegetables. As rewards and incentives, for good behaviour, Bastoy offers activities like horse-riding and ski-jumping, while also encouraging social interaction through barbeques. The rest of the world might baulk at the Bastoy’s methods, but it’s heralded as a success within its native Norway. The country now has one of the lowest murder rates in the world, as well as an impressive 70-per-100,000 incarceration rate, almost two-thirds less than our current rate. By conventional reasoning, Norway’s methods shouldn’t work. Yet, they do. On a grand scale, Norway’s entire prison system errs on the side of compassion. As former Minister of Justice and Police Knut Storberget said, “At some point in the future, these men will live in the community. If you want to reduce crime, you have to do something other than

putting them in prison and locking the door”. Norwegian Prison guards are specially trained, do not carry guns, and follow a tradition of mutual respect with their inmates—with whom they eat and play sports with. Additionally, Norway’s government plans to expand ‘open prisons’. These are facilities where residents are placed during the end of their terms, and where they must find outside employment, pay rent, and do their own laundry. This assists the transition from prison to the outside world and leaves former convicts better equipped to successfully apply the lessons learned in jail to their new lives. Through such facilities, and their pragmatic portrayal in the Norwegian media, public opposition to criminal rehabilitation is low. Salient spoke to internationally noted criminologist Dr. John Pratt about the issue. He believes that Bastoy is a testament to what can be achieved with a society like Norway’s. “Norway, although geographically and demographically very similar to New Zealand, has political beliefs and cultural values that are more or less the opposite of what we have here. In Norway there’s always been "NORWEGIAN PRISON GUARDS ARE SPECIALLY a long tradition TRAINED, DO NOT CARRY GUNS, AND FOLLOW of egalitarianism, A TRADITION OF MUTUAL RESPECT WITH tolerance, THEIR INMATES..." moderation, and inclusion. When you have values like that, society can accept a prison like Bastoy without any kind of difficulties.” attention given to the biased rhetoric of Norwegian society seems to believe that the SST. Pratt contends that “the SST has evil deeds come from social evils, like captured the attention of the media and poverty and marginalisation. Because quite skilfully manipulated them, and the of this, their justice system seeks not politicians fell in to step with that.” so much punishment for past crimes, It appears that our prisons reflect our but the prevention of future ones, by unsympathetic, and in many ways delivering convicts back in to society in misguided approach to penal justice. If we the healthiest state of mind possible. want a safer nation, we have to treat the According to Dr. Pratt, our society has causes of crime and not the symptoms. a long way to go. “In New Zealand, we If we’re unable to target the sociohave a long history of the importance economic factors behind most crime of the individual rather than community committed in New Zealand, then our best wellbeing, and also a history of divisions hopes lie with criminal rehabilitation, and and of class antagonisms.” Helping the open-mindedness and pragmatism to fuel these social inclinations is the that comes with it. ▲

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WHY CACKLING

FILM VILLAINS SOCIETY ARE MAKING

STUPID “GOLDFINGER, DO YOU EXPECT ME TO TALK?” “NO MR BOND, I EXPECT YOU TO DIE!”

☞ GERALD LEE

ere is the typical Hollywood movie villain. He is a cackling psychopath who is hell-bent on dispensing misery and consumed with delusions of grandeur. Complex emotions are a foreign concept to an individual who manages to avoid pangs of conscience. As much as it may be entertaining, is this portrayal in any way accurate? If so, is it a problem that films deviate from reality? Mainstream Hollywood films tend towards absolutism, where villains are the epitome of evil and display few redeeming characteristics. Their motives are typically clear: destruction and terror at any cost. In James Cameron’s Avatar we are expected to abhor the humans, who seem determined to exterminate the native Na’vi rather than endure their meddling. The humans embody so many clichés of greed that we end up with cartoon villains, who are crudely juxtaposed against the noble Na’vi. The message is blunt and naive: corporations are bad. Other films indulge in odd vagaries where the villains’ evil intent is driven by some inexplicable influence. In the Star Wars prequels the Sith desire immense levels of destruction because the 'dark side' compels them. Sure, it may be entertaining but it’s hardly thought-provoking stuff. It’s particularly concerning when such simplistic notions of evil are employed by films that have

grossed the highest amounts in history.

Thankfully, some filmmakers manage to craft their antagonists more realistically by rejecting the approach of absolute evil. They treat evil as a myth; a storytelling gimmick used to push a simplistic moral message. Instead they recognise that people are complex, and thus motives are rarely straightforward. For example, in the film Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy the mole at the top of the British secret service is not meant to be reviled. His treachery is not predicated by some desire to cause harm and destruction. "THEIR MOTIVES ARE TYPICALLY CLEAR: Instead he simply “chose a side.” Apart from just DESTRUCTION AND TERROR AT ANY COST." enhancing the film’s realism However, does it matter that many movie it also builds upon its thematic concerns. villains are ridiculous? Well yes, because It breaks down any moral distinction in the process they manage to sanitise between the opposing factions and evil. Instead of casting a critical eye upon encourages the audience to recognise society, films become fantastical pieces that few groups are inherently evil. Thus of drivel which insulate us from the harsh the film encourages us to re-evaluate realities regarding the world we live our preconceptions, as well as being a in. Evil is reduced to a narrow concept gripping yarn. that allows us to assure ourselves that Greater realism regarding film villains is the person is an anomaly. It’s easier to vital, if we wish art to be a critical study dismiss a real life villain as simply being of society, rather than mere popcorn 'evil', rather than trying to comprehend fodder. When a villain enters the realm of the reasoning behind their actions. When the absurd, a film coddles its audience; films indulge such simplistic notions then entertaining them but not challenging they lower the level of artistic discourse them. Dispelling the cackling villains from and discourage critical thought. Films film enhances the intellectual integrity of don’t have to be realistic, but they do the art form. Plus who really likes Avatar have to communicate some ideas about anyway? ▲ the human experience. These films ignore the idea that there is a certain banality to evil, where ordinary men can make morally abhorrent decisions. Complex reasoning underlines people’s decisions. Explaining them as simply having a lust for fortune and power is a lazy method of storytelling. They aren’t all James Bond villains, who seem to have been born with the desire to destroy the world and all its inhabitants.

EVIL

THERE’S A HUNDRED MILLION REASONS TO TACKLE FALLS IN THE HOME. TEN THOUSAND OF THEM COULD BE YOURS.

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EVIL

☞ LEO HYDE “

ou haven’t heard about Kony yet!?”, a bewildered Pol-Sci, first year asks in a patronizing sing song voice that made me shiver and imagine her naked at the same time. She needn’t have been worried though, for a quick return to my Facebook Newsfeed would soon inform me I was minutes behind the latest trend: Kony 2012! For those of you who have somehow missed out on this entire saga, Kony 2012 is a viral campaign aiming to raise awareness about a guerilla warlord in Central Africa named Joseph Kony, who has been responsible for a wide range of atrocities, and to encourage the American Government to keep some troops in Uganda in the hope that they’ll get ‘im! Admittedly there is something beautiful about Kony 2012. It’s among the first

campaigns to effectively use social media to help shape public opinion. However, I believe that Kony 2012 is a bandwagon and that there are other ‘issues’ out there more worthy of our attention. I will start by saying I do honestly feel that Joseph Kony is a criminal who should be brought to justice for his heinous crimes. However the Kony 2012 campaign has attempted

in power in Uganda since 1986 and, in that time, his regime has started the Congo-Ugandan war (which resulted in 3.5 million deaths), attempted to make homosexuality punishable by death and banned all forms of protest (a tad ironic really!).

Already it’s clear that this Kony shit ain’t as simple as the watch and share video made out. So who "IT’S CLEAR THAT THIS KONY SHIT AIN’T AS SIMPLE made it and what are their intentions?

AS THE WATCH AND SHARE VIDEO MADE OUT."

to paint him as the pinnacle of evil: “the Bad Guy” (or so that cute kid told us). In doing so, the video fails to mention the conflicts that Uganda went through as a result of Western colonisation, and the fact that his religious ideology in itself spawns from Christianity. WHAT!? You may ask, "surely he’s a Muslim like bin Laden, Hussein, and Obama". Furthermore, the video mentions nothing of the crimes committed by the regime which the American troops have been sent to help. Yoweri Museveni has been

KONY 2012: DOING IT! ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE

Invisible Children produced the Kony 2012 campaign; a not-forprofit organisation based in the US of A. Of their eight million dollars spent last year $2.7 million went to US Employees and Travel costs, 3 per cent went to the original four founders while a mere 31 per cent found its way to countries in need of aid. Surely the mass income which Invisible Children has now generated would be much better spent on front-line aid, delivered through the UN or Doctors Without Borders, rather than postering some guys name across Western cities. More people die everyday of malnutrition than Kony has ever been responsible for. They deserve our money, not Invisible-Children-Inc. Although fearful to begin with, I’m now comfortable disagreeing with the Kony 2012 campaign. It seems to be a singleissue waste of time. Perhaps that’s why it’s been so popularised; unlike broad problems like ‘Poverty’, victory is in sight. The day Kony gets his Just Desserts (from the barrel of an American M16) we will see people in Times Square, Tahir Square and Civic Square celebrating how they did their bit and changed the world. But did they really? Seeing this sort of mass action and discussion is truly beautiful. But I don’t think it should be about Kony2012. Maybe tomorrow my News Feed will be covered in new causes, new ways for people to help solve world issues. 2I’ll hope for the best and prepare for the worst. ▲

EVIL

SOMEBODY TELL

SATAN 24

THAT I WANT MY

FUCKING SWAG BACK

THE HORRORCORE WARS

☞ LUZIE-SELENE LONSDALE

“I’MA RUIN YOU CUNT”, IS A LINE FROM 212 BY AZEALIA BANKS, AND IS PERHAPS MY FAVORITE LYRIC FROM THE PAST YEAR OR SO. WHY IS THAT? WELL, PERHAPS BECAUSE AZEALIA BANKS IS JUST PLAIN GODDAMN ADORABLE. CRUDE, PROFANE LYRICISM IS UNDOUBTEDLY ONE OF THE CHEAPEST TOOLS AN ARTIST CAN USE TO GAIN ATTENTION, BUT IN SOME CASES LIKE AZEALIA BANKS’ IT’S ENDEARING AND JUST PLAIN CUTE. IN OTHERS THOUGH, IT HAS A RATHER DIFFERENT SOCIAL IMPLICATION.

EVIL

yler, The Creator wanted to make music to “scare the fuck out of old white people that live in middle fucking America”. By employing the use of some of the most misogynistic and depraved lyrics ever heard, Tyler and his ‘wolf pack’ have undoubtedly accomplished said goal. OFWGKTA have been called ‘the internet trolls of hip-hop’, and for good reason. The LA collective seem to revel in being as overtly disgusting and perverse as possible. Despite this, they have achieved success, being championed and praised by esteemed members of the musical community, both online and in print. The group is undeniably talented and charismatic, producing something fresh and provocative in a day and age where attaining any kind of originality is difficult. That deserves kudos—but is rapping about being “ready to stab a clit with some glass and shit” too far? Perhaps being raised on a diet of Eminem’s shiny murder fantasies, and drawing inspiration from the likes of D12 and Geto Boys left not much else to do other than take shit up a notch. Now, OFWGKTA reject the ‘horrorcore’ label, but then again there isn’t much that they aren’t instantly dismissive of. Growing up, and observing this calibre of music trickle further and further into the mainstream, I’ve always taken the social implications of the music with a grain of salt; I always kind of thought it to be hilarious. I mean, “put anthrax on a Tampax and slap you till you can’t stand”. Misogyny in music is hilarious right? I kid, I kid—it’s repugnant obvs. But really, if Eminem had intended for ‘Superman’ to be taken seriously, he probably shouldn’t have worn that bucket hat in the video. Nicole Skews, of the Wellington Young Feminists’ Collective believes that “singing about how rape is fun and bitches come last, cannot ever be written off as ‘acting’ when not everyone can tell the difference.” On the other side of the argument is my boy Jay Z, arguably the best MC of all time, imploring us to understand that “the rapper’s character is essentially a conceit, a first-person literary creation.” The obvious crux of the issue here is that this genre relies quite fundamentally on the audience’s ability to appreciate this–it assumes that its listeners have some kind of moral compass and are able to distinguish right

from wrong. But we all know the trouble with assumptions… The unending debate is whether or not this music actually endorses the actions described. By now I’m sure society, as a whole is pretty aware of the fact that depravity has no floor. The exploration of this by one assuming a character for the sake of entertainment doesn’t constitute one actually being evil. Does anybody out there actually believe that OFWGKTA and their fans are all homophobic, potential rapists? I’m pretty sure we can mostly agree that they are likely just the victims of yet another Pitchfork-fueled fad, and everybody likes getting their swag on from time to time. Right?

there are a fair few Juggalos and Juggalettes (fans) that misunderstood the intention. “Charming, good natured idiocy” quite quickly becomes terrifying when it concerns a fan murdering and subsequently raping a 13-year-old girlfriend. Other shiny Juggalo/Juggalette related crimes include stabbing a war veteran, rampaging gay bars armed with hatchets, the murder of a nine-year-old girl and, my personal favorite, mobbing Tila Tequila–this included pelting her with water balloons of urine, pieces of poo and a firecracker.

While we can perhaps conclude that Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J aren’t so much evil as unintelligent attention whores, their fans are a "...RESPONSIBLE FOR SOME PRETTY BRUTAL different story. I’m pretty sure killing a 13-year-old DISPLAYS OF PACK MENTALITY." by means of stabbing then fucking the corpse, as one fan Enter Insane Clown Posse, a horrorcore infamously did, is pretty damn evil. duo from Detroit, who were voted by US Whether or not Alex Pacheco, the person rock magazine Blender in 2003 as “the worst band of all time”. They probably are. responsible for the aforementioned, had a penchant for necrophilia before The two high school drop-outs perform he listened to ICP’s ‘My Kind Of Bitch’ under the pseudonyms ‘Violent J’ and is a different debate entirely. While it is ‘Shaggy 2 dope’. Now, if you’ve heard completely unsurprising that their fan ICP’s attack on Eminem entitled ‘Slim base largely comprises of idiots, this anus’, or ‘Miracles’ you’d perhaps write it serves as no solace for the fact that the off as “Charming, good natured idiocy” cultish following they have spawned (as Blender did when reviewing their is responsible for some pretty brutal 2002 album The Wraith: Shangri-La). displays of pack mentality. You perhaps think they are hilarious due to the incredibly crude and poorly articulated lyrics; idiocy is inherently funny. Perhaps you’d even think they are for play-play, and not for real-real. This is a fair assumption. Violent J once asked Jon Ronson, a writer for The Guardian “Have you ever stood next to an elephant, my friend? A fucking elephant is a miracle. If people can’t see a fucking miracle in a fucking elephant, then life must suck for them, because an elephant is a fucking miracle. So is a giraffe.” ICP themselves at least claim to have a pretty steadfast grip of what constitutes right and wrong, their music is apparently intended to deter listeners from waywardness; their ‘dark carnival’ mythology illustrates this. “If you listen to our music and you really do it with a street attitude you’ll really hear a lot of positive messages,” says Violent J. Evidently the ‘Warning: Explicit content, street attitude advised’ sticker never made it past the embryonic stage of development, and consequently

This music certainly facilitates a release that wouldn’t be possible under regular moral and social conventions, but that is not to say it is always a healthy one. The relentless, vile qualities the music of OFWGKTA and ICP possess appeals to persons of a certain persuasion, often in such a way as is not the artist’s intention. Then, surely, it can be said that it does promote these repulsive behaviors. Now, if the day comes in which the masses simply refuse to indulge the likes of Insane Clown Posse, that would be a miracle. But in the mean time, hows about those giraffes, my friend? ▲

EVIL

☞ DOC WATSON

eing a tosspot is akin to a drunkard pissing on a cop car. It’s going to happen at one point or another. It just takes a little while for people to notice if it’s going on, often with hilarious results. Everyone is a twat at some point another, be they nuns or nannies, lobbyists or lawyers, but for some reason, being bad is… well, bad. But sometimes, at some point or another, you just can’t help it. You steal a disabled seat on a bus. You tell a girl that wants

to be better people and more power to them. But pursuing moral perfection as a society is not the same thing. You need to hit perfect neutrality so you have enough diversity to explore every angle. Someone needs to push the moral boundaries on occasion, and someone has to be politically incorrect from time to time.

But all of that is too sociologically broad to be useful. What about if you personally are a good person, or at least think you are? Be a dick once in a "VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE AND WE CYNICS, while. For one, the shift INSULT-SLINGERS AND TIGHT-ARSES ARE THE in paradigm is refreshing. Also, if you intentionally TABASCO SAUCE." antagonise a point for shits to go to the toga party with you that you and gigs, you may learn things that you already have plans when you actually may never have found out otherwise. Say just want to put as many continents as you get into a debate with a possible between you and her. You make born-again Christian when a Jewish joke at a synagogue by sheer you yourself are fairly slip-of-the-tongue. It’s just the one about religious. Take the other the rabbi and the stripper but you still side and dish out some get death glares when you mention the edible underwear. Eh. Shit happens. Some people are just bad people. But this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If someone you know suffers from Asshat Syndrome, it’s no reason to get on your high horse and tell them what’s right and wrong. They are well aware 99 per cent of the time. For the most part, tactfulness, bluntness and callous demeanours are a by-product of not giving a damn. They can bear the brunt of their actions, good or ill, just as capably as they can dish it out. I know that sounds high and mighty on my part as well. But nowadays, people get up in arms about being good people as if it’s some zenith to aspire to. What utter bollocks. People need to be bad. There has to be at least one Oscar Wilde to every Mother Theresa, otherwise the dichotomy would become too airy-fairy and utopian. That would mean everyone is nice, lovely, fantastic people who curtsey in the street, hold every door open for you and use their P’s and Q’s at every opportunity. Sing it with me now: booooooooring. Variety is the spice of life and we cynics, insult-slingers and tight-arses are the Tabasco sauce. For some people, pursuing moral perfection can be perfectly reasonable. It’s their choice

pain. Not only will you explore what you don’t quite understand, but maybe you’ll get a retort that will make you stop and think. What if you are already a fairly terrible person? For all the people agreeing wholeheartedly with my words thus far, and planning to drop-kick a Corgi before lunch, the only advice I could give would be temperance. There is a fine line between being an asshole and a douchebag, and most of the time it comes down to the senses of wisdom, appropriate use of criticism and pure comedic timing. Being a good asshole is a fine art. Don’t overcook it, or you won’t have any friends. And then who will you rile up, huh? But seriously, don’t get too worked up about being good or bad. In fact, be bad more often. Who knows? You may find out something more about yourself. And be honest, you always wanted to verbally pimp-slap that one slag with the hipster serape. You know the one. ▲

TURNING

SINNING WINNING INTO

EVIL

☞ LAETITIA LAUBSCHER

ome people like summer days that taste like ice-cream, whilst others like swirling around wearing red heels in overpacked clubs—but not me. I like torturing myself for a week trying to be as non-evil as possible according to the four major religions: Christianity, Islam, Hinduism and Buddhism—and then writing about it. This is what happened:* *Disclaimer: I am sure that I haven’t even gotten close to the bottom of all that your religion is about and ask you to forgive my ignorance. DAY 1: CONFUSION & DELUSION After spending half the day reading up on religious restrictions off a bright LCD screen, I stared angrily, blankly, into my crème-khaki wall. The stare remained fixed until, at the end of the day, when listening to a wonderful busker on Cuba I was reminded that life was still beautiful and free. Also, found a way to make myself feel bad for doing anything through deductive arguing—including buying a plastic water bottle. DAY 2: HIJABE-A-BE KIDDIN’ ME I woke before dawn and ran (let’s be honest, walked) up Mt Vic. From the peak of the mountain (read: hill), I watched the sun rise and had my first “quiet time” of five (my alternative to Muslim prescribed prayer times). Pulling on my jeans and blue cardigan, I felt okay. Then there was the navy-blue headscarf. Breezily wrapping it around my head, I turned to look in the mirror. The navy scarf flew to the floor. No, not doing this. I felt as though I’d lost my femininity. After an internal debate, I did my makeup to ease the transition and tried again. This was more than a headscarf; I had put on a whole frikken ideology. It was petrifying. I felt judged. At the same time, I felt camaraderie with fellow head-coverers, some ‘sup’ nods were given (read: none returned). Later, I started to enjoy myself—the cotton headscarf was a snug pillow for my ears. Also, the feminist in me felt empowered.

A WEEK

WITHOUT EVIL DAY 3 & 4: NOBLE TRUTHS & ROSARIES Dawn, again. Yet, seeing the sunrise shimmering through my curtains was a blessing. I hit morning yoga to get brownie points from Buddha. As I dressed, I instinctually reached for modest clothes. That said, old habits die hard—I found myself doing the same old things, perhaps only a little more aware of them. Adopting any religious ideal takes longer than a week; perhaps, it takes longer than a lifetime. It’s the little things, like noticing yourself talking more than listening; and being unaware of how your actions affect others. Altruism isn’t an easy road to follow.

DAY 5: SPILT MILK Dawn. I don’t know how people get up this early. I felt exhausted. More yoga: this was starting a brilliant habit. I brokedown later, when I couldn’t justify buying over-priced iced chocolate rather than donating the money. DAY 6 & 7: EXIT THROUGH THE SHOP “To practice Right Livelihood, you have to find a way to earn your living without transgressing your ideals of love and compassion.” Buddha I stared at the racks of clothes and had no idea whether the seamstresses were mal-treated. Probably. I am painfully aware that we Westerners exploit everything we touch. The system isn’t perfect. I worked on Sunday—and yes, I shouldn’t work on the Sabbath, but I’m just too much of a money-hungry capitalist not to. It’s not easy to stop being selfish. That’s the problem with following a religion. I like trying though.▲

EVIL

THE

T RO U B L E 28

WITH

TA L K I N G PEOPLE JUST DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THINGS

☞ PATRICK HUNN

THERE IS ALWAYS, ALWAYS A HOT ISSUE THAT PROMPTS LIVELY DISCUSSION. IT MIGHT BE AID IN AFRICA, OR ANGELINA JOLIE HAVING A LEG, WHICH I’M RELIABLY INFORMED SHE DOES. I WAS REMINDED OF THIS RECENTLY, WHEN I WAS HAVING COFFEE WITH TWO FRIENDS OF MINE, AND WE WERE TALKING ABOUT WHAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING IN EUROPE (BANKS AND GREECE AND MAMA MERKEL, ETC.) BECAUSE WE’RE JUST SO MUCH FUN.

ne confessed that she knew very little about what was going on. It just didn’t seem that important to her day to day life, so she hadn’t actively sought out any information. The other was flabbergasted at this; our friend had, in his mind, failed some sort of test of global civic duty. He then proceeded to berate her with facts and figures, and his explanatory fervor was so intense that I had to wonder whether or not it was borne of something other than him being really concerned with finance. Was he driven, perhaps, by the belief that doing nothing is somehow abstractly evil? That apathy is evil? Sometimes it seems like everyone is standing on either side of a yawning chasm; those that have opinions on everything and those that have opinions on very little (something I think is perhaps a little more intense at university). I’ve encountered people recently who find this really quite upsetting, and both parties have very negative, inflated, hopelessly hyperbolic ideas about the other. On one hand, people who think that they have little right to form an opinion about something they have not experienced see the Tsars of neo-postmodernfeminist-anarcho-Leninist thought attend political sit-ins and organic soup parties. They have political beliefs that come from the Wikipedia articles they have swallowed on the Rwandan genocide and Japanese prostitution in the 18th century. These egotistical snobs sneer condescendingly at everyone around them; people who appear to have very little interest in anything outside their own immediate sphere of life experience. In order to educate these lost souls they take to their tumblrs to write three thousand word blog posts on Why You Are Stupid and post links on Facebook to articles on The Guardian that (they know) absolutely no-one is going to read. Conversely, there are groups of people who feel like they are adrift in a sea of apathy; where daily their own noble beliefs are contested by people too stupid and ignorant to bother picking up a newspaper. For them, this is the ultimate evil. They see humankind inordinately transfixed by the mundane

EVIL

"...INORDINATELY TRANSFIXED BY THE MUNDANE LIVES OF THE BACTERIAL KARDASHIANS AND SUNDRY RUGBY PLAYERS..." lives of the bacterial Kardashians and sundry rugby players, soap stars, pop divas and nobody really worth as much attention as they receive. Their convictions are what gives them moral fulfilment. The fact that they are informed puts them across some important line. Obviously, this is illustrative hyperbole. Although, in the interests of full journalistic disclosure, I do know a person who fits that first description to the letter and honest to God I just want to staple his tongue to his forehead most of the time.You get the gist though; a lot of people are at odds over what it means to hold a express a position regarding something. To do so means different things to different individuals. Most people, justifiably, express a certain level of discomfort when it comes to actively forming a belief about something they have not experienced themselves. It’s the archetypal liberal philosophy; people should be able to do what they want. The gays want to get married? That’s cool. Go for it. I’m not gay—I’m not going to get gay married. Who cares? I won’t get in your way. Everything works out nicely. This makes total sense. At the same time, it feels a tiny bit lazy. When you set your life philosophy out so that you only engage with what you absolutely have to, you are in many ways giving tacit permission for the bad to happen along with the good.

decide how to feel about this; if apathy is evil, then surely creating awareness about a very, very nasty man is good. That it took a dubious charity to make a slick video, starring a wide-eyed white child telling you that Oh Wow Bad Things Are Happening In Africa is another thing altogether. What are we looking for, then? We want people to be opinionated and informed but in a specific way? This is becoming altogether rather tangled. A possible solution, and I think this might just be the one, is to think about the way in which we develop convictions, rather than the why or the what of them. Some years ago, I knew someone who was grappling with her religion. She described the completely unimaginable (for me) pain that she felt when she woke up and realised that her belief in God had gone. Just like that. Living with her family after that became rather painful, as their unshakable belief in something she didn’t subscribe to anymore became the source of tension. The thing that she valued in people from that point on, she said, was the ability to be wrong. To accept that what you believe is incorrect, and adjust it accordingly.

People with strong convictions are cool. I like them. I am one of them. The idea of being someone too meek or timid to form an opinion on anything is a profoundly frightening prospect. I find that when something I am incredibly impassioned by meets with a wall of apathy I want to rip my "SOMETIMES IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE IS STANDING ON EITHER SIDE OF A YAWNING CHASM..." hair out and fling heavy objects at people.

This is why the fracas surrounding KONY 2012, which I’m sure most of you are completely sick of by now, is so interesting. Out of nowhere, your facebook feed was awash with cries of outrage over humanitarian injustices. People who previously produced only detailed descriptions of exactly how fucked they were last Friday night were now discussing something altogether more serious. For a lot of people, this is entirely out of character. They might know and feel that an army of abducted child soldiers being forced into violent situations is deplorable, but a reluctance to be politicized about it stops them from taking to the streets over it. It’s hard to

Turn the argument you’re having into something you can learn from. Be prepared to alter your ideas about something. People are so afraid to do this, and I wish I knew why. Make the immovable debate a fluid dialectic, where you develop your position rather than “lose” at some nebulously defined competition. This sounds like a self-help book, but hey. If anything, you’ll surprise people. The person who holds a strong conviction but has the grace to accept that they’re wrong is quite rare indeed. Of course, some people might just be stricken with a chronic disinterest in everything. I really hope that isn’t the case. It would break my heart. ▲

EVIL

HISTORY OF

EVIL THE PLIGHT OF THE TUHOE NATION

☞ NATHAN ALLAN

n 2007, the group known as the ‘Tuhoe Four’, were arrested and accused of terrorism. Now, they are still on trial for militant antics. But were they, as so many seem to believe, acting with evil intent? They are part of a grass-roots movement for an independent Te Urewera region. Faced with the question, what is evil, my first impulse is to ask, why would we call that evil? This topic leads one to examine the ugly past and present mess of Maori and non-Maori relations, raising questions of, if evil things happened, how do we make everyone happy now? And, who is to blame, the groups of brutally rebellious Maori or the land-hungry non-Maori? In this particular case, the Tuhoe Four belong to a group that resisted Pakeha settlement and did not sign the Treaty of Waitangi. Tuhoe suffered the ravages of famine, assimilation and, arguably, genocide, but it is questions of land ownership that are most concerning. The period from 1865, the founding of the ‘Native Land Courts’, till 1929, when the Crown stopped its large-scale purchases, that’s the period of big evils. Why, you may ask, did we need different, ‘native’ specific laws and courts in olden days? I wonder, what would Dr Brash and his successors in the now-governing party say of their ‘one law for all’ slogans if

they faced up to the history, which clearly shows that there was, and still can be, one legal reality for the majority and a second, more daunting legal reality for Tuhoe, Maori and others who weren’t and still aren’t onside with the powerful? You have to ask of the Tuhoe of those times, when their land wasn’t being stolen for no good reason, why would they still sell so much other stuff

turning their assets into capital and thus increasing their value, many Maori took the only realistic option available, and sold.” A simple example of this evil was the kind of situation when a white settler had his eye on (or one foot in) good but under-utilised Tuhoe land and would then take a group or an individual to the special courts, disputing the ownership. Merely the cost of turning up in town, far from their homes, and then having to defend their case to an alien system, could bankrupt entire iwis and force them to sell the land they wanted to defend– just so they’d be able to eat. Does this not sound just a little bit like a situation similar to the overkill of the Te Urewera police raids and the special charges that were brought against the Tuhoe Four and their associates? New Zealand’s evil mess of a history, with Tama Iti’s Tuhoe and other Maori being steam rolled by blinkered idealism in politics, assimilation in education and self-interested buying in court and market, is described by Boast as “a tsunami of Crown purchasing crashing over a people who were in very difficult circumstances.”

"...BEFORE YOU ACCUSE SOMEONE OF BEING A ‘TERRORIST’, YOU MIGHT WANT TO ASK... WHY THEY WOULD BE LED TO THAT PATH?" willingly and complain about it later? Another common point is that Tuhoe would not have developed those lands and resources to as great an extent as Pakeha. But, this argument ignores the crucial, additional fact that the legal and commercial systems were skewed to such a degree that to survive as ‘a Maori’ you had no choice but to sell your land and then subsist on the fringes of national life. Professor Richard Boast, of our own faculty of law here at Vic, has given conclusive evidence that, “virtually the main function of the Native Department was to purchase Maori land”, and that “locked into complex legal structures which prevented them from

The evidence of investigators like Boast, Richard Hill, Claudia Orange and James Belich suggests that a full acknowledgement of past and ongoing systematic and individual miscommunication, ignorance, bigotry and imposition must be made by all parties before real progress can be begun on such issues. In other words, before you accuse someone of being a ‘terrorist’, you might want to ask, first and foremost, why they would be led to that path? What is the origin of the issue? The persistent dismissal of what some might call ‘the root of evil’ in this case is, to this day, injuring all parties involved, Non-Maori and Maori alike. And it is this dismissive viewpoint that is to the detriment of any progress towards the actual possibility of being partners in one New Zealand. ▲

⚡ COLUMNS ⚡

AQUINAS VS. EVIL

☞ JOE BRADLEY Let’s face it. We live in an age of great evils: global warming, terrorism, rampant corporate greed, Facebook, T20 Cricket and poetry that doesn’t rhyme. There is no escaping the fact that evil exists. But why do we have to contend with these evils every day? Why do good people continue to die in terrible ways? Why, when I want to go out for a quiet pint of stout at 2AM, is there a significant chance that I will hear a Katy Perry song on the way? St. Thomas Aquinas, Italian theologian of the Middle Ages and starting loosehead prop for the all-time Philosopher’s XV, had a pretty decent answer.

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In his attempts to prove the existence of an allknowing, all-powerful, all-good God, he felt that one of the biggest hurdles was the problem of evil. If such a God did exist, then why would he allow evil to exist in His world? If He was all-good and all-powerful, surely He could and would want to stamp evil out entirely. This problem is often used today to argue against the existence of God. Aquinas’ answer was that there must be some good arising from each evil that there is in the world. While he was aware that in many individual cases the evil committed will horribly outweigh any conceivable good that may come of it, Aquinas felt that the existence of evil as a whole can be justified by the good it brings with it. This position was used to conclude that, although we cannot possibly know the mind of God, in His infinite wisdom He can see the goodness to come out of every instance of evil and, thus, evil can be reconciled with His omnipotence and benevolence. These days it isn’t such a pressing concern to prove the existence of the kind of God that Aquinas was defending, but his central message remains the same. Evil events can sometimes bring out goodness in people that we wouldn’t have the chance to see if there was no evil. The Christchurch earthquake is an example of this. The terrible destruction and loss of life immediately brought out a nationwide flood of compassion and empathy for those affected by the earthquake. In the longer term, since the quake, the people of Christchurch have shown resilience and strength of character in the face of adversity. Although this goodness by no means makes up for the evil, the qualities we have observed would have remained hidden if it were not for evil. So next time you are beset by the evil in the world consider the goodness that may be lurking right behind. Sometimes, accidentally hearing a few bars of ‘Teenage Dream’ may make the beer that little bit more necessary and so taste that little bit better when you finally get it.

✏ ARTS ✏

THEAT RE

POLITICAL

MOTHER ☞ JONATHAN PRICE

There is a warped drum movement in Political Mother. In the program notes, director Hofesh Shechter colloquially calls this movement the “end of the world” groove. Apparently, the dancers spent a month listening to this beat alone—five hours a day—before any additional “decorations” were added. This fact conjures images of a harrowing devising process where the dancers are immersed entirely in the world of their creation; a world where the music becomes their universe and they are forced to move in accordance to its rules and logic. There is nothing lost in the translation from rehearsal room to stage. I feel like I’ve visited the end of the world, and I’m still reeling from what I saw. In the beginning, the audience is plunged into darkness. People are still chattering in the blackness when the music starts. It is a slightly alien feeling; we are taken by surprise. The sense that rules are being broken—that we are entirely at the mercy of the dance—is pervasive. The darkness lasts just slightly longer than expected and then we see a lone samurai in a pyramid of light. It is a stunning image. The essence is in the subtleties: the length of the darkness, the contrast of the cold, solid light. These moments provide only an idea of the grim finesse with which the show is executed and the expertise with which our anticipation is teased out. Political Mother continues to throw anticipation in our faces with singularly striking images, which always stay slightly longer than is entirely comfortable. There are plenty more surprises in the show, each more stunning than the last, but they are too precious to be spoiled here. The samurai proves an essential opening, as ideas of power, servitude, and rebellion sit at the heart of Political Mother. We follow—though there is no strict, linear

sense of time—the experiences of a group of people, their clothing evoking images of slums and subsistence. Occurring in a nebulous world, devoid of a specific geography, Political Mother is essentially about relationships: the peoples’ relationship to each other, to figures of political power, and to figures of rebellion. Yet, out of this ambiguity

throughout the show, accumulating increasingly macabre connotations in a kind of thematic snowball effect. There are relatively few movements, settings, and sounds, but the way they are combined and embellished produces a wealth of material, always surprising, often terrifying. The terror arises out of the way the audience is teased, tricked and manipulated, to the "...THE AUDIENCE IS TEASED, TRICKED AND extent that we are implicated MANIPULATED... WE ARE IMPLICATED IN THE in the power struggles taking place on stage. You will POWER STRUGGLES TAKING PLACE ON STAGE..." never see a rock band in the same way again. comes specificity—one may see on the Which brings me to the music. Make no stage Baghdad, Beijing, or Warsaw at mistake, Political Mother is not just a any one time, even simultaneously. It dance production. The sonic aspect is is richly evocative and often hits all too just as important, and just as physically close to home. aggressive, as the visual. Indeed, near The dancing is, of course, utterly, bewilderingly good. Often, it does not even seem like the performers are dancing: every movement, every figure is charged with images of oppression, desire, and escape. There is a palpable struggle on stage. We see external pressures become internalised in the performers’ bodies as the psychological aspects of political comformity and noncomformity are expressed through dance. Offering brief moments of respite to the racing-heart onslaught are beautifully rendered “love” scenes, offering a very real ray of hope, but one that is snatched away as quickly as it is offered.

Political Mother’s genius is in its economy of content, and the way it manipulates the information it has already given us. With a form best described as filmic collage, the show constantly forces us to reinterpret what we have already seen. Certain movements are woven

the beginning of the show we are left to sit with the music in darkness for what seems like an age. This is, perhaps, a clue from the creators: pay attention to the music too, it is crucial. And loud. Political Mother is rock-concert loud; there was a gentleman in front of me wearing earplugs. Brilliant. I leave the closing statement to the woman, of sixty-something years, sitting next to me with a look of rapture on her face: “It was astonishing, wasn’t it?” Yes, it was. POLITICAL MOTHER RUNS FROM 8 MARCH TO 11 MARCH, 8PM. PERFORMED BY: Hofesh Shechter Company ARTISTIC DIRECTOR, CHOREOGRAPHY & MUSIC: Hofesh Schechter MUSICAL COLLABORATORS: Nell Catchpole, Yaron Engler

VISUAL ART S

✏ ARTS ✏

HITCH

YO'SELF ☞ ROBERT KELLY (VISUAL ARTS EDITOR) When talking about my passion for art with friends and flatmates—discussions in which I am often confronted with outright derision— two phrases frequently appear: “Yeh it’s pretty, but that’s it eh?” and “I don’t like art that has to mean something.” These two viewpoints summarise two different, but overarching, approaches to the visual arts. One is obsessed with context and meaning; the other is purely focused on the aesthetic appeal. My position has always been that if something truly embraces and seeks to represent a meaning or context, the visual beauty follows as an inherent quality of the work. Nowhere in Wellington is this truer than at the Te Herenga Waka Marae at Victoria University. The Maori tradition of imparting information and stories through art is an old one, but the Marae at Victoria blends this tradition with the 20th and 21st century worlds through which it has lived. Many of the Pou, carved panels, use custom wood instead of Totara, a choice that went against the grain of typical Marae construction at the time. The stories lurking behind the carved Pou, and the woven Tukutuku panels that frame them, are numerous and deeply significant, both for the people who see them, and the physical location which they inhabit. The central Tukutuku panels represent a series of Waka docking at the central posts, reflecting the name of the Marae. Te Herenga Waka translates as “The Hitching Post for the Waka”, a name reflecting the diverse range of whakapapa, histories and cultures which have gathered at Victoria over time. Everyone’s personal journey is accepted

at this meeting house, and this thematic link between the name and the art inside the Marae emphasizes this feature. The panels themselves have a simplistic, elegant quality, a calm and serene symbolic motif, blending harsh straight lines with elegant swirls and curves. The aesthetic appeal of these works is immediate due to their grace and careful symmetry. However, they are endowed with a deeper artistic quality when considered as a statement about the mission of the Marae, and the position of the individual in relation to this objective. In this case, the art object is affirmed by its context, rather than weakened or diminished by it. The man who gave the name to the Marae is also represented in art. Dr Wiremu Parker, a prominent Maori

the field of anthropology in Aotearoa. The playful mixture of traditional and contemporary symbols downplays any notion of tension between different interest groups, instead revealing the open nature of the Marae to all walks of life. However, accompanying this powerful message is a visual which is amusing and strangely comforting, even to those who do not possess knowledge of the context behind it. The power of the works within this meeting house is that they have real artistic beauty even without their histories informing them; however, once the images are read in tandem with the histories, they take on a certain life, artistic narratives playing invisibly in the quiet contemplative space of the meeting house.

The new Waharoa, or entranceway, was erected on Kelburn Parade "...ONCE THE IMAGES ARE READ IN TANDEM WITH last December, on the 25th THE HISTORIES, THEY TAKE ON A CERTAIN LIFE..." anniversay of the meeting house being completed. Dr politician, doctor, and anthropologist; Takirirangi Smith was the original Master takes pride of place as the Carver of the house in the 1980s, when poutokomanawa, a free-standing carved he was a student at the University. He figure facing the doorway to the meeting also took charge of the Waharoa project, house. Parker welcomes all comers using the medium to honour the female through the door, his depiction making ancestors of Maui, the women behind the clear the all-encompassing, multicultural journeys all Waka made to the hitching colour of this welcome. He is carved in post. what seems to be a traditional style; that Many who were involved in the original is, until the viewer looks closely at the project have since passed away, but their symbols used to identify the personality presence endures within the walls and of the figure. Perched on his head is a continues to inform the art which they left bowler hat, representing his time as a behind, to be treasured by others. So I politician, and around his neck is a playful implore you, whatever your view on what polka-dot bowtie, speaking to his time art should be, walk through the Waharoa, at medical school in Dunedin. An adze find yourself next to Bill Parker, and hitch sits in his hands, alongside these two up your Waka, for a short while at least. motifs from the Pakeha world, the adze representing Parker’s advancements in

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M USIC

DEATH

CAB FOR

☞ ALEX MEAGHER

CUTIE

WELLINGTON PLAYED HOST TO SEATTLE INDIE DARLINGS

☞ CASSIE RICHARDS It’s been a good haul at this year’s International Arts Festival, not least of all with the late inclusion of Seattle ‘indie’ quartet Death Cab for Cutie, on their inaugural trip to New Zealand. They played the Wellington Town Hall on Wednesday February 29 for a highly anticipated show, one fifteen years in the making. The band took the unassuming, black-clad stage, with frontman Ben Gibbard quickly conceding to the crowd “How could we only just get here? What were we thinking?” Although technically on tour in support of their latest album Codes and Keys, it promised to be a show encompassing a good portion of Death Cab’s muchloved back catalogue. Though a bit slow to start and hampered with a few sound difficulties, they soon won over the crowd with favourites such as ‘Crooked Teeth’ and ‘What Sarah Said’, stand-outs from what is arguably their best-known album, Plans. Gibbard’s energy was

impressive, with those in the front row in danger of being showered with his sweat (though this probably wouldn’t have been unwelcome to most). However, his stage banter was a little weak, despite being a good-natured effort to connect with a new country. Some of the best cuts from the new album were performed, including ‘You Are a Tourist’ and title track ‘Codes and Keys’, but most would agree that songs from previous albums, dating back

the sombre, but sweet, ‘I Will Follow You into the Dark’, girls throughout the audience began to weep (full disclosure: I did not). His performance was flawless and essential, even when he was little drowned out by the audience reciting every word along with him. Also essential, and a definite highlight, was the extended coda to ‘We Looked Like Giants’–Gibbard took his place behind a small drum kit for a battle with drummer Jason McGerr, showcasing considerable ARMED ONLY skill in the process.

"...GIBBARD TOOK THE STAGE SOLO WITH AN ACOUSTIC GUITAR TO PERFORM... GIRLS THROUGHOUT THE AUDIENCE BEGAN TO WEEP..." to 2000’s We Have the Facts and We’re Voting Yes, were the favourites of the night. When Gibbard took the stage solo, armed only with an acoustic guitar to perform

After a four-song encore and a total two hours of playing, Death Cab departed the stage with no doubt as to their being welcome back again. Gibbard also posted on his Twitter afterwards that it was the best show of the tour. Good on us.

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FILM

THE CABINET OF

DR CALIGARI (1920) ☞ ERIKA WEBB "That night there occurred the first of a series of mysterious crimes...Murder!’" When a circus visits a mountain village in Germany, the most thrilling and anticipated act is Cesare the Somnambulist, a man who has slept constantly for 23 years. The arrival of

and acclaimed films of the German expressionist movement, the action unfolding in a painter’s world of patterns and angles. The characters are puppetlike figures, mostly wearing top hats, staggering around these beautifullyconstructed soundstage sets. One of the first horror films and a key influence on the popular film noir style in 1940s Hollywood, Caligari is entirely disconcerting and not at all like the horror films you’ll be used to seeing. For the uninitiated to silent cinema, the lip-reading and intertitles take some getting used to. However, with broad, theatrical acting and the intriguing, surreal landscape, it’s not a hard film to pay attention to. The

"...IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ONE OF THE MOST INNOVATIVE AND GROUNDBREAKING THIRD ACTS IN MODERN CINEMA." the Somnambulist and his master, the enigmatic and peculiar Dr Caligari, is marked by a series of disappearances and killings which confound the townspeople. Made in 1920 and directed by Robert Wiene, The Cabinet of Dr Caligari is one of the most influential

THE ARTIST ☞ Michael Kumove As an (almost) silent film shot in black-andwhite, it would be easy to dismiss The Artist as a mere novelty—an overly-nostalgic tribute to Hollywood’s golden days. This would be wrong. Very wrong.

shaky handwriting of the intertitles is a sufficient guide, moving us through the complex plot with the help of a trembling string sextet. However, as the predictably fumbling police catch the wrong man and the murders continue, you may smugly declare that it’s pretty obvious who the real murderer is—isn’t it? Perhaps not; the film shifts the investigation to an asylum, blurring the lines between good and evil, sane and mad, and in doing so is responsible for one of the most innovative and groundbreaking third acts in modern cinema. Reality is uncertain. Bizarre and entertaining, The Cabinet of Dr Caligari won’t make you jump or scream, but it is undeniably creepy. DIRECTOR: Robert Wiene

The Artist introduces us to George Valentin, the biggest silent film star in Hollywood circa 1927. At his latest premiere, he (literally) bumps into Peppy Miller, an aspiring actress. The chemistry between them is immediate, and George arranges for her to be cast in his next production.

put out when it did not arrive. Such consternation quickly passes, though: The Artist sparkles with life, displaying a witty sense of humour and a passion for the song-and-dance of Old Hollywood.

To a modern audience, the lack of sound can initially be disconcerting. I found myself leaning forward in my seat, waiting for a noise and being slightly

talking world.

Further, the film treats its audience with a refreshing amount of respect. There are countless opportunities to manipulate the viewers’ heartstrings, but the film With the advent of ‘talkies’ however, refuses to condescend in this way. George’s stardom begins to wane; There are no sappy scenes "THE ARTIST SPARKLES WITH LIFE, DISPLAYING of George weeping while A WITTY SENSE OF HUMOUR AND A PASSION FOR big, emotive music plays in background. Emotion is THE SONG-AND-DANCE OF OLD HOLLYWOOD." the generated through clever use of symbols and motifs, as well as the “people want new, talking faces,” the wonderful silent acting of Dujardin and studio head sombrely informs him. Bejo. Meanwhile, Peppy, embracing the new medium, finds her career going from The Artist is everything a film should be— strength to strength. The rest of the film clever, dramatic, touching and funny. It chronicles how George responds to this deserves every Oscar that it won. I found maelstrom of change, both within the film myself disappointed when it ended, facing industry and in his own life. the prospect of returning to the real, DIRECTOR: Michel Hazanavicius STARRING: Jean Dujardin & Berenice Bejo

✏ ARTS ✏

BOOKS

THE

WULF MAN AN INTERVIEW WITH HAMISH CLAYTON, AUTHOR OF WULF

☞ KURT BARBER (BOOKS EDITOR) Wulf is a historical novel. Do you think that the novel is a valid way of dealing with history?

I think it is a valid way, but as long are you are aware of what you’re bringing to it as a novelist, rather than as a history writer. I tend to think that historians are better on providing a strict sense of historical clarity. I’m more interested in historical novels which register the fleeting experiences at the edges of the facts. You don’t think that making it a good novel distorts it as good history? I can think of several things that complicate matters: Haast’s eagle before anyone knew about it, Te Rauparaha referring to Kapiti as his shield and spear. Well, no. Who’s to say that Cowell hadn’t accidentally wandered into a limestone cave and seen the remains of the eagles before they were noted by historical record. The way I was using the historical

It’s a colonial trope I suppose; that’s why the land is so heavily eroticised and the idea of possessing the land is so important. Some parts of Wulf are intensely visual, as well. I’m thinking of the description of a tree stump that’s not a wolf, for example. That scene unfolded in cinematic focus for me. There’s actually a track in the Botanic Gardens, one of the really dark ones, where there is a tree stump that looks like a wolf. I’d only just started writing the novel, and went out walking in the dark, when I was only two or three pages into the writing of it, and I happened to see this thing. It was quite bizarre. Can we talk about the nameless narrator?

He had to be nameless. I never wanted to find out who he was, specifically because of my idea of historical I’m resistant to the "YOU HAVE TO CREEP UP, VERY CAREFULLY, ON fiction. idea of representing history THE IDEAS SOMETIMES." in a novel. The nameless narrator is the character we record was to say “Well, what’s feasible know most intimately in the novel, the for this person to have seen?” character we know next best is Cowell, It need not have actually have occurred... who does appear in the historical record, Cowell didn’t call it Haast’s Eagle, did he? He and beyond that we have Te Rauparaha, didn’t describe it as the largest eagle that ever who’s solidly part of history. So there’s lived. It was just a moment where he tells his this reversal: the more solid they are in audience: “Here I am in a limestone cave, and history, the further away they are from the bones of these enormous birds remind me of the reader. It was one of those little the indigenous stories I’ve heard.” motifs and structuring devices which, A central theme in Wulf is the once I realised it was there, I used. personification of the land, and I’d like to talk about that.

What was your writing process? I finished the first half of the first draft, and then in a huge burst of energy I finished the rest. And it was utter crap, and I had to go back. You can’t crush the ideas when they arrive in your lap. I remember being nine, in 1986, when Halley’s comet came to New Zealand, and standing out in the backyard trying to see it. You couldn’t see it unless you looked to one side, and then you could see the tail. It’s like that. You have to creep up, very carefully, on the ideas sometimes. So, shall we talk about ambiguity in your novel? It’s bookended by poems you can’t translate, and filled with signs like the spiral that the narrator can’t interpret. That ambiguity is definitely the thread running through it. It ties back into that central idea I have of cultures not being able to understand each other. Do you know the story of how I found the poem? My friend shows me the poem and says it’s one of her favourites and makes the off-hand comment that someone ought to write a novel about it. I read the poem, loved it, and started obsessively collecting translations of it. And then the light went on years later when I realised it seemed to be evoking line-by-line aspects of Te Rauparaha’s history. What I liked about the idea was that historical period I’ve mapped onto it is so hard to get to, in the same way that the meaning of the poem is hard to get to.

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L A I T N E D I S PR E ADDRESS

YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT

☞ BRIDIE HOOD Our Prime Minister is an important man. He makes many important decisions. He smiles a lot. He attends a lot of meetings and makes important speeches. An example of this was at a Colliers international event last week. He talked to the group about the government’s commitment to the retention of interest free student loans, despite student debt currently exceeding $12 billion. National’s support of interest-free student loans is not new—it was party policy in the lead up to both the 2008 and 2011 elections. However, what is concerning are the condescending and arrogant remarks he made in relation to young people, particularly students, and their engagement in the political processes that operate in our country. Key stated that it was ‘politically unsustainable’ to put interest back on student loans. He explained that interestfree student loans were ‘about the only thing that will get [young people] out of bed before 7 o’clock at night to vote’. Now I don’t know about you, but I find the above comment to be both demeaning and completely incorrect. Furthermore, voting on Election Day is not the only way to get involved in our democratic processes. We’re living in a dynamic time and students are engaging with the political process in a number of different ways. The forms of engagement, what is being discussed, and how students are discussing it are all changing

and evolving. You need only look to Generation Zero’s flash mob during O Week or the amount of signups, our political clubs on campus had during Clubs Week to see that it is far more than just interest free student loans that will get young people to the ballot box on Election Day. Students are concerned about the world we are living in and they are taking action. With that point in mind, I would like to let you know some ways that you can get involved with some work VUWSA is currently involved with around gathering student opinion and feedback. STUDENT SUBMISSION ON THE REVIEW OF MMP The Electoral Commission is very interested in hearing from students regarding the current MMP electoral process. Their interest is particularly piqued by the fact that students and young people voted overwhelmingly to keep MMP (70-75 per cent compared with 58 per cent for the population as a whole) and with the referendum result it is likely to be the system that current young voters will have for the rest of their lives. It is intended that the group discuss an arranged set of questions, e.g. the importance of ensuring proportionality, the basis for eligibility for list seats including thresholds, the ordering of candidates on the list etc. So if you’re a bit of an electoral system ‘geek’ and would like to get involved, give me an email at president@vuwsa.org.nz

TERTIARY EDUCATION COMMISSION FOCUS GROUPS The TEC are interested in finding out what sort of information students need to make informed and wise choices as to institutions, papers, courses of study, and so on. This will be extremely important in informing what is likely to lead to requirements imposed upon institutions to report and may also lead to an opportunity for the TEC to publish collectivised data that will assist students in some of the choices they face. Once again, if this is something you are interested in, please give me an email. These are only two current examples of how you can become involved in our political processes and make your voice heard. There will be plenty of opportunities to be involved in consultation at both an institutional, regional and national level this year. Some important documents that will be coming out for consultation later this year include the Wellington Bus Fare Review, and Wellington City’s Long Term Plan for 2012-2022. John Key may be an important person, with an important voice. But don’t forget that you are too. Collectively, students can bring big change to this country—so get involved, get active and help shape a country that you want to live in. And don’t forget that it’s only through us that people like John Key become that important.

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CLUBS

diversity of extra-curricular activities that Victoria students can engage in.

OFFICER

Clubs at Victoria University are high performers, from DebSoc to the Flying Disc Club. Not only are clubs winning international awards and competitions but also providing support networks and activities for cultural and social groups. Getting involved is a pathway to meeting great people, broadening your education, developing communication skills and learning things about yourself—attributes that readings and examinations cannot teach alone.

☞ REED FLEMING “Go my sons burn your books, Buy yourselves stout shoes. Get away to the mountains, the deserts And the deepest recesses of the Earth. In this way and no other will you gain A true knowledge of things” -Peter Severinus While burning books or exploring the wilderness are not the action that I am advocating as your Clubs Officer; I do strongly suggest that a complete education is one that has a contribution from outside the lecture theatre or tutorial room. Last week, Kelburn campus was flooded with affiliated clubs, societies and rep groups for VUWSA Clubs Week. The hallways of Cotton and McLaurin transformed into a bold statement of the

REPRESENTATION & SERVICES ✋

You may be reading this wondering how you can afford to squeeze training or a meeting in between important Law Alive readings—but international research suggests that you can’t afford not to. Iowa State University found a “correlation between involvement in activities and academic achievement”—particularly higher grades, better social skills and a lower dropout rate. More crucially they

STUDENT COUNSELLING EVIL

☞ SHARON RENFRO (REGISTERED SOCIAL WORKER) Evil represents a range of behaviour that lies on an extreme pole of a continuum of behaviours. At the opposite pole lies ‘good’. Both ‘good’ and ‘evil’ are the product of an emotional assessment of the environment. Emotional assessments of the environment work well and provide highly adaptive strategies in simple environments. In complex environments, these same strategies can become kneejerk reactions that lead to emotionally laden behaviours. In the “here and now” such behaviours reduce anxiety, and hence, promote the perception of a successful solution. Without the long term point of view in which entrenched patterned behaviours can be seen for what they are, extreme behaviours that feed emotional reactions become the “norm”. Groups that promote good/evil can attract people who experience difficulty forming and keeping long-term

meaningful relationships. Connections are not based on common interests or well-defined beliefs, but rather the need to assess the environment using the guideline of the world is either threatening or safe. The world view is black or white. The more rigid this dogma is, the higher the level of anxiety in the group and the more extreme the behaviours of the individual. Members consistently avoid contrary information and never put themselves in anyone else’s shoes. ‘Good’ cannot exist without ‘evil’ and vice versa. The behaviours on each end of the pole encourage the opposite reactions in a battle of ‘right’ vs. ‘wrong’ in which each side maintains a view of being ‘right’. Neutrality and a complex understanding of this process can mitigate its consequences. Being neutral means taking a solid position in a highly charged emotional environment, and

saw that students in clubs developed self-respect, self-esteem and selfconfidence, as well as analytical skills and creative problem solving skills in a way that the class room can’t. While we are spoilt for choice at Victoria with over 70 VUWSA affiliated clubs to choose from already, if you can’t quite find what you are looking for drop me a line at clubs.officer@vuwsa.org.nz. I can guide you through the process of affiliating a new club on campus and let you know how VUWSA can help you. If the goal of a university education is to “to enhance their personal development”, as Vice Chancellor, Prof. Pat Walsh suggests then I have no doubt that involvement in a club is an excellent means of going about that. A real education, an education for life, is one which occurs at least partly outside the classroom. So go my sons, burn your books and join a club.

helping others to develop compassion and concern for one another. Becoming a university student and increased exposure to the world automatically makes us vulnerable to experiencing anxiety in a different way than before. The very process that makes uni exciting also presents us with challenges: now we have to formulate a view of the world. Uncertainty seeps into a world that we understood, and now we may not know where we stand. It can be very uncomfortable. The task is to define who we are and what we stand for. Not knowing can be immobilising, and it is the immobilisation that we notice. As you deal with these tasks of defining a Self, you can use the counselling service to help. KELBURN CAMPUS: Tel: 04 463 5310 Mauri Ora Level 1, Student Union Building Monday to Friday 8.30am-5pm TE ARO CAMPUS: Tel: 04-463 5310 School of Architecture & Design, Vivian St Monday 8.30am-5.00pm KARORI CAMPUS: Tel: 04-463 5310, JW Scott Library, Donald St. Thursday 8.302.30, Friday, 8.30-1.30 PIPITEA CAMPUS: Tel: 04-463 7474 Level 2, Railway West Wing. Monday to Friday, 8.30am- 5.00pm counselling-service@vuw.ac.nz

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NGAI TAUIRA ☞ ANDREW DONNELLY “I don’t want to do good things. I want to do great things.” This quote of Lex Luthor from the Smallville TV series gives us an insight into the ways of the villain. He states here that his main concern is not about doing what is right but that he wants to be great; his desire is his own glory. This doesn’t mean he will do only bad things, but he has no boundaries when it comes to achieving his desires.

REPRESENTATION & SERVICES ✋

Luthor is prepared to do whatever it requires: he’d even murder his own father. Still everything he does has reasoning behind it: he has goals and he wants to make advances in the industries he has an interest in. He wants to change the world and make it a better place.

easily he could have gone the wrong way but he was brought up by parents who taught him that living a great life is about honour. Therefore he respects those around him, listens to them and protects them. Despite his great abilities he still needs his Lois Lane.

His intentions come across as good, but Superman is in his world. Superman does not do what he does for the glory; he does what he does because it is the right thing to do. He is the most powerful being on the planet and could easily take over the world. Luthor’s jealousy is manifested; through this his true intentions are made clear.

The hero has grounding; though the man can fly, he still has someone who keeps him from flying away. Love gives him a home. It is love shown from others that keep people from losing their way; despite being in an alien surrounding he has a family.

He becomes aware of his own shortcomings but instead of accepting them he tries to destroy the people’s symbol of integrity. He lures people to follow him, he buys them, he uses fear, and he uses many other deceitful tactics to make connections. He sees his ‘friends’ as networks, each person is a tool so that he can achieve his master plan. Luthor wants to create his own standard. Superman isn’t from earth and he respects the people. Because they have accepted him he lives to help them. Quite

Due to his own standards Luthor wants to rise above the people, he despises them and because of this he will remain caged up. Superman on the other hand has listened to the people, he lives by their standards and he is allowed to fly. Tauira it is your time to fly we are here to support you and to see you flourish. You have the ability to become pioneers in your chosen fields of study. Don’t be someone who lives alone, living by your own standards. Seek wisdom from those around and you will become heroes. You will do good things and you will do great things. www.ngaitauira.org.nz ☞ WEBSITE: 39

BENT ☞ MATTHEW ELLISON Some queer people describe themselves as ‘straight-acting’.I don’t like it. Now, I see where these people are coming from. Some guys prefer to get with guys who are more masculine, and some prefer more stereotypically gay types, so as a way of describing oneself, it sort of works, but c’mon... straight-acting? The last time I checked, straight guys don’t like other guys’ dicks. The same thing happens for queer women too. Ladies who could ‘pass’ for straight are described as ‘femmes’. Some lesbians like to wear lipstick and have longer hair and can outrun you in heels, and some don’t, and both are awesome, but neither is pretending to be heterosexual. Neither is straightacting. They’re not acting—they’re being themselves. ‘Straight-acting’ is a descriptor that applied to the queer folk of yesteryear,

when we literally had to act like stereotypical straight people to avoid being attacked. Such a term, and the baggage that comes with it, is a hangover from bygone days. The only thing that makes you straightacting is pretending to like the opposite gender exclusively. If you’re not doing that, you’re not acting like a straight person. The only thing that makes a person gay or lesbian or bisexual is liking the same gender. Everything else is extra. If you’re gay, and you pretend to like women, then you’re straight-acting. If you’re gay and masculine, then you’re masculine, not acting like a straight guy. If you’re a masculine man, or a feminine lesbian, are you acting? Nope. If I’m masculine, it’s because I am masculine (whatever ‘masculinity’ is). It implies that

we are imitating masculinity rather than being masculine, as though a gay man being masculine is an unnatural thing. By the same token, associating the the word ‘gay’ with femininity doesn’t fit either. There are certainly feminine gay and bisexual guys, and masculine lesbian and bisexual girls, but it’s not the way you act that makes you gay, it’s who you’re attracted to. Is it a sort of internalised homophobia to protest “Oh, don’t worry, I’m not like those homos. I totally act straight.”? Yeah, I reckon so. Straight guys don’t have a monopoly on being socially masculine. So go forth and be fabulous! Or not—if that’s not you, then go forth and be whomever you want to be, but whatever you do, don’t do it to be straight-acting.

⚡ COLUMNS ⚡

THINGS ☞ PHOEBE MORRIS

YOU ALREADY KNOW BUT JUST NEED

TO BE TOLD KNOW WHEN TO HOLD 'EM, KNOW WHEN TO FOLD 'EM, KNOW WHEN TO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP SERIOUSLY DUDE 40

☞ UTHER DEAN (CHIEF SAGE) Like all languages English is riddled with lacunas. Also called a lexical gap, a lacuna is a common concept that we don’t have a word for. The most commonly cited example is that we have a name for a child with dead parents— that being ‘orphan’—but we don’t have a word to describe the parents of a dead child. While that gap is odd and probably should be filled, I think there is a more pressing one. There is no word for the period of zealous, almost religious mania that newly minted atheists go through. You know the people, you may have even been one of them, these insufferable moral highgrounders who manage to make almost every conversation pointless by twisting it around to how religion poisons everything. They hector everyone they meet who dares question them or not take them seriously or, flying spagetti monster forbid, holds a different belief to them. They reject the complexity of reality and how we perceive it, and try to enforce certainties on an inherently uncertain field of discussion. I, for what it’s worth, think I stand with bespectacled internet Harry Potter folk singer and pop science bite-sizer Hank Green when he says that he feels uncomfortable answering the question ‘Do you believe in God?’ Because there are more words in it that he has trouble defining than words he’s sure about.

This early adopter over-expressiveness is not restricted to whether or how many people live on the clouds above us. It is equally present in areas as banal as what internet browser you use or what logo is on the back of your computer or who publishes the comics you read or Pepsi vs Coke or Omar vs Bubbles. We like feeling right, we treasure certainty, and when we

only real chance for that is through our ideas. We don’t want to change the world. Not that much. We just want to leave an impression on it. The easiest way to do that is to spread the ideas in your head, right? That’s why you push your new beliefs so hard on others. If someone could just listen to you on this one thing then maybe they will carry it on and

"WE ALL WANT IMMORTALITY AND WE ALL REALISE THAT IN THE FACE OF THE OVERWHELMING CERTAINTY OF DEATH THAT OUR ONLY REAL CHANCE FOR THAT IS THROUGH OUR IDEAS." hit on something with real surety we cling to it. And that can be totally intolerable for anyone around us. So, maybe, sometimes, y’know, when you’re really into something, something you’ve discovered for the first time, something you just know you are 100 per cent right about just take a little time to internally treasure your correctness. We’ve already established that your opinions are key parts of you. They are as sacred to you as your biology and brain sparks. So, of course, you want to share them. Of course you want to express yourself. We all want immortality and we all realise that in the face of the overwhelming certainty of death that our

spread it. That’s all well and good, and more power to you but you still need to learn to pick your battles. You know that no one likes to hectored with other people’s ideas, you just sometimes need to be told when that hectoring person is you. By no means am I trying to tell you to keep totally schtum about all your thought-babies, I’m just asking you to always judge your audience. You want to be listened to, so talk to the people who will listen, and talk reasonably. Remember that you want to share your ideas not drill them into people. Attempting to convert people never works, trying to persuade people does.

⚡ COLUMNS ⚡

ROXY

HEART

AND

PRUDENCE

LOVELOCK

I’ve been in a stable relationship for one and a half years. Before my present girlfriend, I was sexually active, but my current girlfriend takes her religion very seriously and operates a strict no-sex-before-marriage policy. I appreciate and respect the choice she’s made, I love her dearly and can see myself with her in the future, but I’m not ready for marriage at this point. The problem is this: I was at a work function the other night, and went home with a colleague, we had a great time and lots of fun. Do I tell my girlfriend I cheated, or stay quiet and return to my life of lonely masturbation?

ROXY “I appreciate and respect the choice she’s made”. Hahahahahaha. Oh, darling, you most certainly do not. Roxy has a pro-tip for you: if you respect someone’s choices, you don’t cheat on them. Now, Roxy wants to be clear here, cheating is not always wrong. Roxy is a pragmatist, and there will be times where the least harmful action is to cheat. Maybe it’s what you need to do to keep your resolve to stay with your partner through a terminal illness. Or maybe you have children or finances that would be devastated by a separation, and the occasional affair is needed to hold the family together. It’s a shitty situation, but moral absolutism has no place in the messy world of human love. However, you are not in that situation, and so you receive condemnations in Roxy’s harshest terms: you’re big oozy smear of Santorum. Anyway, what you have to do now if you want to maintain any worth as a person, is to go and tell your partner what happened. She will be upset. She will probably leave you. You will feel sad: this is called “a consequence”. If, however, your girlfriend is a saint and forgives you, then you will need to talk

about what created the circumstances where you cheated. You clearly cannot handle the “no sex before marriage” rule, which means that she will either have to loosen that rule up, let you have sex with other people—with rules of course—or realise that while she loves you, you just aren’t compatible. What she shouldn’t do is trust you to stay faithful, because it is clear that you aren’t to be trusted. Now, Roxy would like to end this advice with a word of warning. While abstinence might seem like a wholesome attitude and safe choice, denying sex before marriage to your partner means that you are going to see yourself in these types of situation a lot more frequently. Most people won't realise how hard it is for them to be abstinent. They then end up in relationships they really shouldn’t be in, and that hurts you. So remember, while abstinence is a valid choice, choices have consequences. Love, Roxy <3

PRUDENCE Well, this has turned into a complete mess hasn’t it? Obviously you are now obliged to marry this other woman you so foolishly slept with at a work function (see what happens when fathers let their virile daughters into the workforce? Disaster). A quick back-of-the-envelope

calculation tells me that the appropriate dowry in these circumstances is five goats, twenty bushels of wheat and one of those fancy gift-hampers you can buy at florists now. I can recommend one on Lambton Quay: the man who runs it is always very nice to my boyfriend, and always seems to cheer him up. Your girlfriend, however, remains a problem. Her family has been dishonoured, and that’s something that even the glossiest goats or biggest gifthampers won’t repay. Ideally you would just marry her too, but the “liberals” have destroyed the Biblical tradition of the family so completely that that is simply not an option these days without moving to Te Anau. Instead I recommend that you and your new wife fake your deaths to resolve the inevitable blood feud. Prudence recommends fishing trips without a life jacket as the easiest way to accomplish this. xoxo Prudence. If you have issues or concerns that you wish to discuss privately and confidentially with a professional, rather than a magazine columnist, Student Counselling Service can provide a safe place to explore such aspects of your life. The service is free and confidential. Phone 04 463 5310. Email counselling-service@vuw.ac.nz. Visit Mauri Ora, Level 1, Student Union Building.

EAT YOUR FUCKING GREENS

You are not alone.

⚡ COLUMNS ⚡

NOTHIN' NET

was capped for New Zealand—one of the greatest honours in our country’s sport. He has played 14 tests for the All Blacks (most from the bench) and his most memorable moments on the field have little to do with rugby.

THE IDIOCY OF SONNY BILL

Firstly, his shirt ripped in HD slowmo, and the country took a collective, distinctly female-sounding gasp. And secondly, he was on the pitch for a matter of seconds in a Rugby World Cup semifinal before smashing the living crap out of an opposition player and receiving a yellow card. Had the player in question not been Quade Cooper, more would have been made of Sonny Bill’s stupidity.

BUT

☞ JOE GALLAGHER While a goldfish has the shortest attention span of any animal, Sonny Bill Williams has the shortest attention span of any sportsman. Last week we were told that Sonny Bill will next year be back in Australia, playing league for the Roosters. The code switch completes a whirlwind world tour which has seen the man play three different sports in three different countries over the course of three years. He began playing for the Bulldogs, during which time he was regarded one of the best players in the game and won an NRL Premiership. In 2008 he walked out on his contract to switch codes. Next in line was rugby union. He gave it three years earning megabucks in the south of France before returning to New Zealand to give it a shot with the All Blacks. 42

He constantly jeopardised his union career by insisting on furthering his farcical career as a boxer. The NZRFU

allowed it, and Sonny Bill became an All Black. He contested a Super 15 final, won an ITM Cup, and lifted the Rugby World Cup. On first look, that’s a ripper of a CV. But if Sonny Bill had the maturity and dedication of some of our better athletes, he could have been one of the greats. By walking out on his contract at the Bulldogs, Sonny Bill sacrificed his status as one of the best players ever to grace the sport. He only represented his country a handful of times, and will largely be remembered only for his abrupt departure, rather than his mastery on the pitch. His three seasons in France gave him a second chance. It gave everybody a while to calm down and forget about the nature of his code-switch. His ‘commitment’ to becoming an All Black got everyone far too hyped up. In union he has buckets of talent, and

FOOD HERE'S TO A YEAR OF GLITTER

☞ HAYLEY ADAMS The birthday party, the most special occasion to bake for. I have baked a few birthday cakes in my time, but cupcakes remain the closest to my heart. They are so delightful, easy to share and super fun to decorate. A special friend of mine had her 21st birthday bash recently and I was blessed with the absolute pleasure of baking enough sweet treats to feed the partygoers. We whipped up a few batches of these, covered them in edible glitter and they were gobbled up in no time.

In truth, his contribution to our success in the World Cup was minimal. The point I’m trying to make is that if the rumours are true, and Sonny Bill returns to league next year, it’s just another step in an appallingly long trip around the world during which he has blown his chances of being a true legend. He’s achieved a ridiculous amount in his career so far, but barely deserves any of it. The man is easily distracted and lacks the focus of a sportsman of whom the country could be genuinely proud. Instead, he’ll likely be remembered for his fame off the field than on it. Sadly though, this might be enough to satisfy him.

WHAT YOU NEED 120g butter ½ cup soya oil 1 cup water 100g 72% cocoa chocolate ½ cup cocoa 1 ½ cup caster sugar 2 eggs 1 tsp vanilla extract (Not essence! Throw that stuff in the bin, kids!) 1 ½ tsp baking powder 1 tsp baking soda 1 cup buttermilk 2 cups of flour frozen rapberries

AND FOR YOUR FROSTING 120g butter, soft 200g cream cheese, soft ½ packet of raspberry raro dissolved in 2 tbsp boiling water 1 tsp vanilla extract red food colouring 5 cups of icing sugar

WHAT TO DO Preheat your oven to 180 degrees celcius and line a cupcake tray with paper cases., this recipe will make 24 big cupcakes or twice as many little ones. Melt the butter, oil, chocolate and water together in a pan on a medium heat. Turn of the heat, dump in sifted cocoa and the caster sugar and whisk like a you ain’t never whisked before. Add eggs and vanilla, whisk again. In separate bowl combine buttermilk, baking powder and baking soda, add this and the flour to the chocolate mix and whisk again. Stand for ten minutes, then fill each cupcake paper ¾ full and stuff a few raspberries in the middle (or one if they’re mini cupcakes). Bake for 15-20 mins or until they bounce back when you touch them. Frost when cooled. For the frosting, beat the butter, cream cheese, raro mix, vanilla and colouring together till smooth. Add icing sugar a cup at the time while beating. Chill your frosting for 10 mins if piping, if not just slap it on.

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TO A STMASTERS !!!

NGA TAURA UMANGA

THE COMPUTER GUY LTD.

Wednesdays, 12-1pm, Room 218, Student Union Building

MAORI COMMERCE STUDENTS ASSOCIATION

NEED COMPUTER HELP? We can fix, repair, service, network, backup, install or upgrade your laptop or PC. We can help with viruses, internet issues, hardware or software & almost anything else computer related. We’re located near the top of the Cable Car (next to the MetService building) and are very affordable at $70/hour+gst.

CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE AT www.compguy.co.nz

OR EMAIL US ON

Because communication isn’t optional, Toastmasters is a club dedicated to helping people practice public speaking in a fun and supportive environment. Everyone - no matter what your current public speaking ability – is welcome. Come along and see what Toastmasters is all about. VISIT US ONLINE AT vicuni.freetoasthost.info

TONIGHT!

YOU CAN CALL OR TEXT FRANZ ON

THE FILM PRODUCTION SOCIETY IS HOLDING IT’S FIRST MEETING!

FI L M S H O W C A S E

You should be there! MONDAY 19TH, 5-7PM STUDENT UNION BUILDING 218.

info@compguy.co.nz. 499 0098 / 021 067 3750.

LLC WORLD FILM SHOWCASE FREE ADMISSION! Screenings are held at the Language Learning Centre, on the big screen in VZ003. Be early as seats are limited. Foreign films are screened with English subtitles.

Address: Language Learning Centre, von Zedlitz Building, Kelburn Parade BRIDE FLIGHT (Canada 2004, in English) 5pm, Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Casual, social, fun, for ANYONE interested in making movies! Film is a collaborative process, so lets start by eating some cake together!

Not sure what we do? Turn up! Can’t make it?

EMAIL: vuwfps@gmail.com to get on the mailing list! www.facebook.com/vuwfps

QUINCEAÑERA (USA 2006, in Spanish)

STUDENT EXCHANGE

FEI CHENG WU RAO <If You Are the One>

STUDENT EXCHANGE FAIR 2012

5pm, Wednesday, 21 March 2012

(China 2008, in Mandarin) 4.30pm, Thursday, 22 March 2012

VIRTUAL HALL Are you a first year that is not in hall? Feel like your missing out on all the fun? Well join the virtual hall! This is a pilot programme run by Victoria to provide social and academic support to first years. It will be heaps of fun and a great place to meet others!

The launch is on the 22nd of March (Thursday) from 4-5pm in The Hunter Lounge. Sign up before online at: http://www.victoria.ac.nz/st_services/ newstudents/virtual-hall/

THIS WEEK WED 21ST & THURS 22ND! KIRK FOYER 11AM-2PM Wednesday 21st March

Europe, Asia & Oceania

Thursday 22nd March

North America & Latin America Country specific info sessions each day! Win Prizes! Find out about 100+ exchange destinations. Why not study overseas as part of your degree?! Earn Vic credit, get Studylink & grants, explore the world! EMAIL: VicOE@vuw.ac.nz FIND OUT MORE: www.victoria.ac.nz/ exchange FACEBOOK SEARCH: Vic OE

‘MEET & GREET BBQ LUNCH’ WHEN: Tuesday 20th March, 12–2pm WHERE: Ngai Tauira Office, Meeting Room 1 Level 3, Student Union Building, Kelburn A great chance for all our Maori Commerce students to have a free BBQ lunch and meet your Nga Taura Umanga executive, staff and fellow Commerce students No need to R.S.V.P. but if you require further information contact us: ngatauraumanga@gmail.com

REC RU I TMENT RECRUITMENT FOR 2012/13 INTERNSHIPS AND GRADUATE JOBS! CareerHub HTTP://CAREERHUB.VICTORIA.AC.NZ

Applications closing in SOON: ORGANISATIONS

CLOSING DATE

PwC

20-Mar

Deloitte, Bell Gully, Buddle, Findlay, Mayne Wetherell, Chapman Tripp, DLA Phillips Fox, Kensington Swan, Minter Ellison Rudd Watts, Russell McVeagh, Simpson Grierson Meredith Connell

22-Mar

Audit New Zealand, Ernst & Young, Wilson Harle, BNZ (Wholesale Banking)

23-Mar

BNZ (Institutional Banking)

25-Mar

CAREERS EVENTS – BOOK ON CAREERHUB: EMPLOYER PRESENTATION

DATE

Westpac (Finance/ Accounting), Luke Cunningham & Clere, Staples Rodway

20-Mar

Audit New Zealand

21-Mar

Reserve Bank of New Zealand

27-Mar

OTHER EVENT

DATE

Careers Without Borders (NZ Institute of International Affairs)

23-Mar

For more or full details, check on http://careerhub.victoria.ac.nz careers-service@vuw.ac.nz, 04- 463-5390

☻ SALIENT LOVES YOU ☻

LETTER OF THE WEEK WINS TWO FREE COFFEES FROM VIC BOOKS!

L E T T ER O F TH E WE E K FREE SPEECH IS DANGEROUS Dear Salient, I am OUTRAGED. How can you use satire so IRRESPONSIBLY? Sooner or later people will get hurt because they interpret satirical views as REAL ones. I know this “Nick Cross” character you've invented for 'Cash Rules Everything Around Me' column is supposed to be tongue in cheek but if you're not careful your readers might think real people ACTUALLY think like that and they might be influenced. Regards, OUTRAGED

THEY’RE BLOCKING /B/ NOW TOO Dear Salient,

Today the university’s wireless internet blocked me from a site due to it containing “Adult/Mature Content; Political/Activist Groups”. My computer’s date was then changed to 1984. We are all safe in the arms of Big Brother. Regards, Winston

YES, QUITE Dear Transgressalient I must say that I don’t like the Prudence column, not because it offends me, it’s mainly because I have no sense of humour. But I have to come to its defense in light of the criticism it received in issue #2’s letter segment.

the very behaviour that is being satirised.

Satire, at its finest, is the use of literary devices to ridicule and expose others for their stupidity/ignorance/apathy/ whatever. It relies on the reader’s active engagement with the piece. To this end, Prudence’s satire is pretty solid, and far from denigrating the LGBTQ movement, it exposes the notion that ‘homosexuality is wrong’ as an ignorant, hate-filled world view that is incompatible with decent society.

Dear Salient,

An active reader should have read Prudence’s column and been shocked at the suggestion that a male who doesn’t want 24/7 sex is gay, but then gone on to think something along the lines of ‘if homosexuality isn’t a bad thing, why am I okay with a society that discriminates against the LGBTQ community on a systematic basis?’. But that relies on active engagement, not merely taking what is written at face value. The letter also asks Salient not to print things she finds “offensive as fuck”. The very notion that Salient should not include content that offends people is offensive as fuck to me. There is nothing wrong with being offended, there is nothing wrong with speaking out about things that cause offense, there is however something wrong with trying to stop people from offending you. I get offended every day of my life by largely inconsequential things, such as Campbell Live, the war on drugs, and most forms of censorship. If we all went around actively removing offensive things, there would be no beauty in the world and it would be a pretty fucking boring place to live.

The complaint admits that they are aware that the piece is satire, and yet they miss the point of the satire, and accuse it of

This half-baked rant brought to you by some guy who should know better

Salient welcomes, encourages and thrives on public debate—be it serious or otherwise—through the letters pages. Write about what inspires you, enrages you, makes you laugh, makes you cry. Send us feedback, send us abuse. Anything. Letters must be received before 5pm Tuesday, for publication the following week.

will not be corrected for spelling or grammar. The Editors reserve the right to edit, abridge or decline any letters without explanation.

Letters must be no more than 250 words. Pseudonyms are fine, but all letters must include your real name, address and telephone number. These will not be printed. Please note that letters

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DON’T RECYCLE EITHER

Every week reading Prudence makes me a bit angry. Ed’s response from last week’s letters section classifies it as satire, but from where I sit, that’s not what it comes out as. It comes out as a hatefilled rant, which seems aimed to offend at least one group of the populace each and every week. And every week, without fail, it offends me. But you know what, I’m not a member of the LGBTQ community, like the writer of Explanation Necessary. I’m not one of the other myriad groups that Prudence throws veiled insults at. I’m actually a Christian. And for me, Prudence is deeply, personally offensive. By publishing Prudence, Salient is attacking Christians and painting them all in the light of extremist, fundamental beliefs held by only some within the religion. Christians are portrayed as right wing, hatefilled bigots, whose agenda is to force their beliefs onto everyone else. Now, I don’t fit that description. Nor do practically any of the Christians I know. However, I do desire to live my own life based on traditional Christian values, such as abstinence. This isn’t something I would push onto any non-Christian (believe it or not, even writing this piece is pretty out there for me). Prudence ridicules this desire and that strikes me as intolerant. People often accuse Christians of being intolerant, and I will admit that this can often be the case, however there is also a culture of intolerance against traditional Christian beliefs in university society. Were I to publish an article in Salient ridiculing the values and worldview of any other religion I know the amount the hatemail I would receive would swamp the

☻ SALIENT LOVES YOU ☻ SEND TO: letters@salient.org.nz Salient c/ Victoria University PO Box 600, Wellington

I’M SURE YOU’RE A DEEPLY UNHAPPY PERSON. Salient office, however this is blatantly the position Prudence takes against Christianity. Sometimes Christians can also feel like a persecuted minority. I would not force you to share my views, but I would also ask you not to push yours onto me. And I would ask you to stop with this Prudence bs. All it’s really doing is reinforcing negative stereotypes and offending a bunch of people all round. Yours sincerely, Seriously considering never picking up a Salient again.

REAL TALK! In Sam Oldham’s article on ‘We Are The University’ he lists many of the negative effects of cost cutting at Victoria. Many of these measures are of course highly undesirable for those involved personally and the student body as a whole. I did however note his mention of the ‘downsizing’ of two of the International Relations lecturers, one of which I know to be Megan McKenzie. Megan McKenzie was truely the worst lecturer I have encountered in three years at Victoria, incapable of leaving her own preconceptions and bias out of her classes and unprofessional in her teaching methods and in the small number of dealings I had with her. The University is better off without her. The reason for this rather pointless venting of hate, considering she no longer teaches at Victoria? She didn’t even give us a evaluation form at the end of the year where I could have let loose my criticisms... M Blank

UNISTOPPED Unistop shop. what in the holly hell happened to it?????? did it get beemed up by a UFO or something. what are us cheepskate students supposed to do for noms. also about time someone did an article on the attrociously slow wireless network at victoria. Regards seth

Once again it is the start of the year and uni is crawling with freshers and twats and I feel there is a great need for someone to remind these people of the unwritten rules that we have here at Vic uni. Think of the hallways as roads; stick to the left, avoid crossing oncoming traffic and for fucks sake do not stop randomly in the middle of the path to talk or text or whatever, pull over to the side. Also please wait until a class has come out of a lecture hall before barging your way in. It is seriously annoying when people are coming in before our lecturer has even finished and we don’t want to have to push through a crowd of you trying to come in. There is a 10 min gap until class starts, you do not have to be there early and you will get a seat! And stop loitering outside the Kirk lecture theatres they are large and have plenty of room but also are full of people who are going to want to come out before you can get in. Let’s switch our brains on and work together now shall we. It is common courtesy people. Thanks The Bitch

♥LIENT

Dear ▲lient, You’re alright and I think you’re better than Critic this year but sort of not as funny sometimes but I like you anyway, it’s kind of like a scenario where you’ve got a mate who thinks the girl over there in the red is pretty but you’re like, “nah bro, she’s alright but her eyebrows are a bit too big for my liking”, but your mate’s got a bit of a thing for Kiera Knightley ever since he watched Bend It Like Beckham in Year 11 English so he’s keen to go chat her up, but you’re hesitant to even play wingman in case her mate has similar brows too, I mean who knows, it could be a flatwide thing perhaps, and now I bet you’re thinking, “how is this relevant?” but hang on, it will make sense soon I promise. Last year, you were a bushy-browed Knightley of a rag, and now you’ve given them a bit of a pluck (via sexy fonts and logo and halftones) and you’re looking banging, nice job, high fives all round etc. Hope you took lots of breaths if you read that out loud.

GET A JOB AND A HAIRCUT, YOU ANIMAL Dear Salient, You posed a good question last week when you asked “What are you doing at University?” Part of the reason is that it is education and preparation for the “Real World” somewhere out there in the future. But we’re not just the citizens of tomorrow; we’re also the citizens of today. We get to shape the ethos of our society. We get to decide how we act and interact. We choose what we value, whether we simply rip down the pillars of society or build new structures; whether we erect monuments to ourselves or live without caring who gets the credit. What are you doing at university? I’m creating culture, and like it or not, so are you. But what kind of culture do you want it to be? Hopeful Cynic

RE: ROXY’S RESPONSE TO THE WOMAN WHO WANTED ANAL SEX. Our issue with Roxy’s response was her encouragement of this woman to “seriously consider what his refusal to do something that you enjoy and carries no real cost to him, means for your relationship.” Had you considered that there is a psychological component to his refusal to have anal sex? How about an analogous situation: a woman refuses to perform oral sex and a man writes in to express his dismay, would you provide the same advice to him? Sincerely, Boys of the Ghetto Mansion ROXY’S RESPONSE: Roxy’s advice would have been just the same: if your partner refuses to do something you really want to do, then it’s appropriate to ask, “Is this a deal breaker for me?”. If it is it’s better to be honest about that now, rather than letting resentment fester and the relationship crash and burn. Different things matter to different people, but in all cases being honest with yourself about what you require is very, very good idea.

☻ SALIENT LOVES YOU ☻

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29 33

37 39

DOWN

ACROSS

2 Not quite a table; for working 3 Christopher Walken's face; sunken 4 Looked over the joint 5 Business or casual, you wear it 6 The prayer is ended 7 Not your usual fairy 8 Wouldn't you rather be a predator? 12 Animation kicking it old-school 14 The saved page, dog-_____ 17 In church, trousers or perhaps of student opinion 19 Not a hotel or Holiday Inn 20 Chur's mate 21 1994 wants its slang back 22 Wine and cheese need this for improvement 24 Fossilised tree blood 28 The right coordination 29 Delphic Greeks saw the future 30 Blacksmith or currency duplicator 31 Our nearest and dearest 32 Pay them too much attention 34 Water's escape 36 Read all about it within 37 Lady's companion

1 Barbarian collectives; perhaps orcs and trolls 5 The door is open 9 Awaken the faint by smelling 10 The Definite Article 11 God gave this to you; also Roll 13 Or far, wherever you are 15 Everything in its proper place 16 Cowardly or just plain Coldplay 18 Appear from the shrouds 20 Womanly support 23 Nek Minnit.. Colloquialism 25 Torn up, all that's left 26 Before tomorrow is here 27 A song, dedicated 28 Da Vinci Code's assassin 30 Thin wafers fell off 33 Ride 'em, cowboy 35 Not your common find 37 Too many annoying bites from him 38 Our University, abbreviated 39 Disagreement in action 40 Holds things together 41 Turn, and just go on turning

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KIM & NIC

THE REUBEN BRADLEY TRIO

NZ’S BALKAN BRASS EXPLOSION

MIGHTY MIGHTY

SANDWICHES

SAN FRANCISCO BATHHOUSE

BODEGA

SPACECAKE & PROJECT H

UNDER THE RADAR & THE VBC PRESENT... PUMP UP THE VOLUME!

SIGMA 2012 TASTER PARTY

BEACH PIGS

THE UPBEATS

BEASTWARS 2ND ALBUM FUNDRAISER

WELLINGTON INTERNATIONAL UKELELE ORCHESTRA

JOHN COOPER CLARKE

THE THOMAS OLIVER BAND

WEBBPAGE MEOW CAFE THE HUNTER LOUNGE

GHOST WAVE WITH

DUBCLASH:

WELLINGTON REGIONAL HEAT

ST VINCENT

VIRGINIA

TBC

WITH

HAVANA BAR

WITH

7PM - 9PM

WITH

TUES 6TH

TBC

7PM - 9PM

COMPULSORY DUBSTEP / HIPHOP VBC METAL SHOW ECSTASY WITH

SUPER CUTE HANGOUT

LIVE BAND & DJ

BACK FROM THE GRAVE FEAR THE DEATH-DEFYING TERROR OF

SALIENT IT'S ALIVE!

RUN, DON'T WALK! HIDE YOUR CHILDREN! WRITE TO SURVIVE!

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