20 - Politics

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DEFENDING YOU FROM THE TRUTH ISSUE 2 0

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VOL. 7 5

SEPTEMBER 17 TH 2012

THE TEAM Editors: Asher Emanuel & Ollie Neas editor@salient.org.nz Designer: Racheal Reeves designer@salient.org.nz News Editor: Hugo McKinnon news@salient.org.nz Arts Editor: Adam Goodall arts@salient.org.nz Film Editor: Gerald Lee Books Editor: Kurt Barber Visual Arts Editor: Rob Kelly Theatre Editor: Jonothan Price Music Editor: Philip McSweeny Feature Writers: Fairooz Samy Chris McIntyre News Interns: Grace Tong Shilpa Bhim, Phillipa Webb Chief Sub-Editor: Carlo Salizzo Distriubution Specialist: Michael Graham CONTRIBUTORS Hayley Adams, Todd Atticus, Hilary Beattie, Sara Bishop, Kate Bromley, Rose Burrowes, Choaty, Henry Cooke, Richard D’Ath. Uther Dean, Martin Doyle, Matthew Ellison, Harriet Farquhar, Renee Gerlich, Stephen Gillam, William Guzzo, Ryan Hammond, Christian Hermansen, Roxy Heart, Bridie Hood, Sharon Lam, Russ Kale, ‘Molly’ ‘McCarthy’, Hamish McConnochie, Callum McDougal, Chris Malcolm, Chandra Miller, Joanna Morgan, Phoebe Morris, Udayan Mukherjee, Livvy Nonoa, Sam Northcott, Sam Philips, Morehu Rei, I.J. Reilly, Will Robertson, Carlo Salizzo, Bas Suckling, Josh Van Veen, Ellen Walker, Michael Warren, Matt White, Isabella Whitfield.

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relative, ya see!”).

That election was our political ‘awakening’, so to speak, though that could be an overstatement. We weren’t so much awake as trapped in the snooze-button, nap, snooze-button, nap cycle that we are so well practiced at.

School was abuzz with ‘political discussion’, best characterised as a vitriolic paraphrasing of whatever had been overheard at the dinner table the preceding evening. Ollie’s school was stricken by the divide between the racist motor-cross riders from Motueka and the bleeding-heart SUV-greenies of down-town Nelson, while at Asher’s place of ‘learning’ the walls might as well have been painted blue.

Politicool ▲ ◎ ◍ ASHER & OLLIE

It was spring 2008. We were rosycheeked, somewhat-less-than-pretty 16 year-olds. By the end of November, the rosy-cheeked Labour would suffer defeat at the hands of the somewhatless-than-pretty Key-led National. We

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couldn’t know it at the time—Asher was barely numerate and struggled with polls (“What do you mean, margin of terror?”), and Ollie always read even the most damning of statistics with reality-defying optimism (“It’s all

Much of those early forays in the world of politics were fraught with naïveté and the happy confidence it begets. Beliefs were a reaction against peers, parents or teachers, or else an exercise in parroting the very same.

Though we had no idea what we were on about, we knew we believed in it all very strongly.

Then change happened, as it unfortunately tends to do. It was time for university and we found ourselves intermingling with the most disconcerting of types—those who

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disagree. It was the stock-standard first-year phenomenon. At university, people actually knew about these kinds of things, see; they devoted degrees to its study and drunken evenings to its debate. It was all too much for our frail partisan identities.

And we were shown—very swiftly— just how easily our certain beliefs are made uncertain. The waters were permanently muddied, and doubt was now the norm. While there is little in the world of politics that one can be sure about, there are a few things that we have deduced over these years. These are are decidedly and eternally true: A strong military is a strong military.

Barack Obama.

Empowerment.

Children are the future.

Our assets are our assets.

The environment is important.

So is the economy.

Aunty Helen is in fact not biologically everyone’s aunty.

--- Don’t be a Partisan Hack. Vote for your intellectual dignity. Vote Salient. ---

(adj.) 1560s, “leaping,” a heraldic term, from Latin salientem. The meaning “pointing outward” is from 1680s; that of “prominent, striking” first recorded 1840, from salient point (1670s), which translates Latin punctum saliens, going back to Aristotle’s writings. Hence, the “starting point” of anything.

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UP POLITICS CARLO SALIZZO

TEN Cheerleaders

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EIGHT House Music in the House

SEVEN Physical Violence

SIX Crystal Meth

FIVE Fewer Old White Men

FOUR Cabbage Boat Races

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ONE The Rt. Hon. Jaime Ridge

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GAYPOCALYPSE

MASSIVE SGM TURNOUT ENSURES VUWSA ON RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY G R AC E TO N G

At the VUWSA SGM on Wednesday, students passed a motion to endorse Louisa Wall’s marriage equality bill and voted through the constitutional changes required for VUWSA to enforce the Governance Review’s recommendations.

An SGM was required after VUWSA lost the 100 person quorum required to pass motions when some students left the room at the AGM before the holidays.

However, on Wednesday the room was spilling with students, the overwhelming response a consequence of widespread support for the bill and the proliferation of a rumour that campus Christian group Huge! would be appearing in force to vote against it. The agenda for the AGM did not list a discussion on the bill.

VUWSA had already pledged its support for the LegaliseLove campaign at the AGM last year.

Rory McCourt moved that VUWSA publicly support the bill.

“We want to be able to call MPs and say “Hey, our 13,500 members believe strongly that this is a human rights issue and you should be taking notice of them,’” he said.

Students debated both for and against the motion. Joseph Habgood, one of the co-

founders of the LegaliseLove campaign, said “universities have always been a grounds for social action and they’re a grounds for making the world a better place.”

No one openly opposed marriage equality; those who spoke against the motion said that despite supporting the bill, they feared the motion would marginalise the minority of VUWSA who opposed the bill.

The debate ended when a motion was passed that the issue be voted on immediately. The motion that VUWSA support Louisa Wall's Definition of Marriage Amendment Bill passed with landslide support.

Most of the constitutional changes were passed without question, only the establishment of an Equity Officer in place of the Women’s and Queer Officers was challenged. However, President Bridie Hood explained that the officer’s role was not to represent, but to liaise with already established representative groups and to communicate their concerns to the executive.

To facilitate this process, a motion to create a regularly meeting Equity Committee was also passed.

The main requirement was “a passion for social justice,” said Hood.

The meeting concluded with free pizza for all students in attendance.

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Vice President Welfare Rory McCourt addresses the meeting in support of the motion endorsing Louisa Wall’s same-sex marriage bill.

Students anxious to support civil liberties form a serpentine crowd in the student union building.

TOP: Students quiver with anticipation and struggle to find seats in the packed clubs' lounge prior to the SGM commencing.

NEWS

LOL MOLOLY McC ARTHY

POLITICS GOING TO THE DOGS A New South Wales politician found himself in the dog box last week when he tried to pass a motion that Parliament honour the Queen's late corgi, Monty.

Liberal MP Peter Phelps proposed last Wednesday that the House should celebrate the life of Monty, who reached age 91 in dog years.

The motion was soon slammed as being a “mockery of Parliament”.

"This is an absolute waste of time and taxpayer's funds," Labour MP Walt Secord said.

"Dr Phelps raised it yesterday when we were trying to hold an emergency debate on the AU$1.7 billion education cuts by the O'Farrell government.”

Before he passed away, Monty featured in the recent London Olympics Opening Ceremony. He leaves behind the Queen's four other corgis, Willow, Holly, Candy and Vulcan.

According to a family friend of the Windsors, Monty was quite the mischievous devil, and loved chasing animals.

“There was a particular squirrel that used to play games with him. It would come out of the tree, and when Monty got up a head of steam – well, it would go right back up there.”

Monty also tweeted: @royal_corgi

#YOLO ENDS IN THE CRUELEST IRONY OF ALL TIME YOLO had the last laugh early this month when aspiring rapper Ervin McKinness died just minutes after using a #YOLO hashtag twice on Twitter.

“Driving tweeting sipping the cup fuck yolo I'm turning it up,” tweeted McKinness just moments before the car he was driving crashed into a wall in Ontario, Canada.

McKinness had tweeted about drink-driving earlier in the night as well.

“Drunk af going 120 drifting corners #FuckIt. YOLO.” YOLO, which stands for You Only Live Once was popularised by the Drake song 'The Motto', and has since become the 'carpe diem' of the 21st Century.

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DOLLAR$ FOR

$CHOLAR$?

GOVT’S VAGUE PROMISES ARE VAGUE S H I L PA B H I M

The Government has said it is pleased with the progress being made with its goal of reducing the cost of lending student loans.

Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce and Revenue Minister Peter Dunne announced earlier this month that changes to the student loan scheme have significantly reduced the cost of lending money.

“Changes over the past three budgets have helped reduce the cost from 48 cents to 39 cents in the dollar so far,” Joyce said.

According to Joyce, the Government wants to put the extra money towards reinvestment in the quality of tertiary education.

“We want to ensure student loans are used effectively by people to obtain qualifications and earn enough to pay their loan back and contribute to New Zealand, while we reinvest in the next generation of students.”

NEWS

FEES WILL RISE FORUM PLAGUED BY SECURITY, FAILED MUTINY, FISCAL UNCERTAINTY

HUGO MCKINNON

Victoria University’s costs are increasing faster than revenue, and management will be recommending to the Council that tuition fees be raised, said Vice-Chancellor Pat Walsh at the second Student Forum last Monday night.

Those trying to attend were required to pass four security guards and have their bags searched to be allowed into the Hunter Building’s Council Chamber, where the meeting was held.

Also present were Chancellor Ian McKinnon, and Chair of the Finance Committee, Roger Taylor. Walsh presented a presentation on tuition fees, and all three answered questions from the Forum.

Due to financial sensitivity, Walsh would not put a number on the proposed increase until the Council meeting on September 17, but VUWSA Vice-President (Academic) Josh Wright speculated it would be four per cent, the maximum allowed by the Ministry of Tertiary Education.

The forum expressed confusion as to why the University had asked them to discuss an increase in tuition fees if they could not be told what the recommendation would be.

McKinnon said an increase was needed to maintain Victoria’s quality of education, but many forum members scoffed at these remarks, expressing frustration with the already small number of tutorials, some classes going without.

The three council members were criticised for not being in touch with students’ financial concerns, having attended University when it was fully subsidised.

But Taylor said he would be “very surprised”

if fee increases deterred students from attending.

One student “accepted the financial situation” but questioned if the University was doing enough to resist government changes, and accused it of creating a culture against students who did.

“As soon as students try to participate in democratic processes, we are punished, we are escorted up the elevator by security guards, our bags are looked in, and they want to know how much water I’ve got in my water bottle,” she said.

Walsh urged the forum that while they were often not successful, they did resist the government consistently.

One student mused the University could better spend its money by giving the $120,000 budgeted for the Universitycreated and unelected Student Forum to representative groups and clubs.

However McKinnon said it was important to meet with students “even if the process is questioned.”

“Ultimately, we listen to what you say, but that doesn’t mean the expectations of what you say will be met,” he said.

After McKinnon, Walsh, and Taylor left the room, a representative from the Postgraduate Students’ Association queried if Bridie was ill-suited as Chair of the forum considering the conflict of interest she had as President of VUWSA. However, it was concluded all members had a similar conflict in their role as representatives of various groups and faculties.

ITS then asked for feedback on the continuation of student email addresses.

Wright consulted the forum on the University’s proposed introduction of a C- grade. The grade will be given to percentage scores between 50 and 55, with the requirements for other letter grades increasing by five per cent.

An overall C- grade for a course would count as a “restricted pass”; students would receive points for the course, but it would not count as a prerequisite towards other courses.

The University receives additional funding for each student it passes, and hopes a restricted pass will encourage lecturers to fail fewer students.

Tuition fees will be discussed at a Council meeting will be held at 2pm in the Hunter Building Council Chamber on Monday September 17. Students are invited to attend.

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NEWS

ABORTION LIKE “TITANIC”

COUNCIL ELECTIONS 2012– ELECTION BY THE STUDENTS ELECTION OF ONE MEMBER TO THE UNIVERSITY COUNCIL BY THE STUDENTS Nominations for the election of student member to the University Council closed on Wednesday 5 September at 5pm. Four nominations were received.

‘NON-RELIGIOUS’ PRO-LIFE SPEAKER VISITS VIC CHRIS McINTYRE

An election will be held on Thursday 25 October 2012 with the polls closing at 5pm. The election will be conducted electronically and the candidates will be elected according to the votes cast by the single transferable vote (STV) system.

The guest speaker at a seminar on abortion last Tuesday, organised by Victoria pro-life group LifeChoice, denied his affiliation with religious groups when asked.

Malone, advertised as a New Zealand bioethics and life issues speaker, presented an hour-long talk on abortion and human rights, advocating its outlaw, including in cases of rape and where the mother’s health is in jeopardy.

LifeChoice is a non-profit, non-political and non-religious club affiliated to ProLife New Zealand and associated with VUWSA through club status.

Malone was not paid to appear, but when pressed was reluctant to provide details on who was financing his nationwide tour.

“It’s some individuals from Northland, and some from Christchurch.

I’ll be covering some of the sundries out of my own pocket,” he said.

When asked if these individuals were affiliated with any religious groups, Malone assured Salient they were not.

However, Malone is a director of LifeNET—a company providing seminars, life coaching, and media training—whose website is registered through Mustard Seed Consultants Limited, an information communications technology company which according to their LinkedIn profile “focuses on providing services to the Catholic Church”.

In a guest column Malone wrote for the New Zealand Herald, he is identified as the media liaison officer for the Catholic pro-life organisation Family Life International; a position he held until October 2011.

During the seminar Malone compared abortion to the sinking of the Titanic; a mother eating her infant while trapped on an island; one conjoined twin poisoning another, and the storming and subsequent occupation of Stalingrad.

LifeChoice President Mary-Anne Evers was pleased with how the event had gone, and said it was “really good.”

Jessica, a student affiliated with LifeChoice, said the seminar was a “good evening [with] good discussion, fairly rational and nonemotional”.

But another LifeChoice member was concerned with the seminar’s presentation of women’s issues, and felt that female members of the audience who had undergone an abortion would have felt uncomfortable.

Isabella Whitfield, a pro-choice student, felt Malone was “dismissive of the more complex realities that women face in making the tough choice to have an abortion.”

Prior to the event, Evers said the group aimed to approach the issues with compassion, rather than condemnation.

“I would be really really angry if someone...that was associated with our club went and condemned a woman.”

LifeChoice received no money from either VUWSA or the University to host the event.

Earlier in 2012, LifeChoice distributed ‘Right to Know’ pamphlets, criticised for providing misleading health information on abortion.

The candidates for this election are: David ALSOP Rory MCCOURT David REKTORYS Darren ZHANG Profiles for the candidates will be available on the University website from the week beginning 10 September 2012. All students are included on the Student Roll and are eligible to vote in the election. For election purposes, a student is any person currently enrolled in a personal course of study at Victoria University or a person who is studying at the University under an exchange agreement with another institution.

The Student Roll will close at 5pm on Thursday 27 September.

Electronic Voting Voting documents will be sent in early October to the University email addresses of all students on the Student Roll.

The voting site is an external site on a secure server owned by electionz.com, which the University has contracted to handle the voting process. Voters will be able to view the profiles of the candidates and information on the voting procedure on this website before submitting their vote.

These elections are governed by the Council Election Statute.

The list of current Council Members is available on the University’s website at www.victoria.ac.nz/home/about/ council Leah Gifford Secretary to Council and Returning Officer leah.gifford@vuw.ac.nz 04-463 5196

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NEWS

“CHANGE SUCKS!”

PRESIDENTIAL PILGRIMAGE AUSA FAILS TO RECOVER HOLY GRAIL; PRES FORCED TO APOLOGISE G R AC E TO N G

LIBRARY TURNS PAGE AS NEW DOORS OPEN, STUDENTS DISTRESSED HUGO MCKINNON

The Kelburn Central Library opened its new entrance last week, which is accessible on Level One after walking through the Louis’ cafe.

The old entrance into the second floor is now closed for construction, and a new ‘main’ entrance is expected to open on that level, leading into the campus hub development which will open in February next year.

The new entrance is not currently fitted with a permanent librarian's desk, but does feature several self-checkout kiosks.

The installation of kiosks are part of an attempt to decrease the reliance on librarians.

“Bring back the librarians!” One student commented on a whiteboard near the entrance, on which students are asked to provide feedback, while another lamented “change sucks!”

A ‘Vic Info’ desk has also been established next to the entrance, the first of several desks to be established around campuses, assisting students for small issues, and offering direction towards the right faculty or office for further help.

In-depth coverage of the campus hub project will be published in next week’s issue of Salient.

At a forum on Auckland University’s quad last Wednesday, AUSA President Arena Williams was formally censured by Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP) and AUSA members for failing to consult students before taking an expenses paid ten day tour of Israeli occupied Palestine.

Williams was invited on the tour by Australian lobbying group the Australian/ Israel & Jewish Affairs Council, which annually sponsors visits for journalists, politicians, civil servants, and student leaders.

On the Facebook page, 190 people were listed as ‘going’ to the event, and there was much discussion both for and against Arena.

On the page, Williams said she had already apologised to three members of SJP in a meeting on July 25 after they had expressed concerns. She agreed to write a letter outlining her position in Craccum, the University’s student publication.

The SJP claimed that by accepting the offer she had endorsed the Israeli government’s actions and motioned that she “apologise for associating AUSA and it's members with Israel” and “for her disregard for human rights, [and] for visiting an apartheid country under an international boycott.”

“I firmly believe that isolating Israel achieves little,” said Williams in her letter to Craccum.

“I was deeply sceptical about the offer. But I decided that the most important thing was to understand the issue, rather than forever observing from a purely academic perspective.”

Williams took unpaid leave to visit the country.

WE’RE NUMBER 237!

VIC OPTS FOR CONSISTENCY OVER QUALITY IN UNI RANKINGS S H I L PA B H I M

The 2012 QS World University Rankings, which rank the top 700 tertiary institutions in the world, were released last week.

Seven out of New Zealand’s eight universities were placed among the world’s best tertiary institutions.

Victoria University was placed at number 237, maintaining the same position it held in the 2011 rankings and putting it in third place among New Zealand universities.

The University of Auckland was the highest ranking New Zealand University, at number 83, down from 82 last year.

AUT was ranked at 500, featuring on the list for the first time since it was established 12 years ago.

All the featured New Zealand universities were placed within the top 500, but Lincoln University was not on the list.

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Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) ranked at number one, surpassing Cambridge and Harvard, who traditionally place first.

MIT featured 10th in 2007 and has steadily been rising up the ranks since, coming in at third place last year.

“The rise of MIT coincides with a global shift in emphasis toward science and technology”, said QS Head of Research Ben Sowter.

NEWS

PLANET EARTH IS A COMPLICATED PLACE AND A LOT

WORL

OF COMPLEX BUSINESS goes down. It can be hard to ✷ KEEP UP AND EASY TO ✷ SOUND LIKE A DICK WHEN YOU

OPEN YOUR MOUTH.

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Salient considers it ITS GOD-GRANTED DUTY to provide you, dear reader, all OF THE BASIC FACTS ABOUT THE biggest ongoing world issues so ➢ YOU CAN APPEAR ➣ MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE THAN YOU actually are—just like us.

OILED DOGS, NEW TRICKS

NEWS M ARCH ON THE

In San Francisco, global tech big-boi Apple unveils the latest in its string of humanitydestroying do-it-all smartphones, the iPhone 5—and it is purportedly lighter, taller and more rob-yo-gran-yo-gotta-get-one-ofthese-fast than ever before. That the device is not yet capable of rendering all real-world human interaction meaningless has been a source of much disappointment for some critics.

In the Netherlands, Dutch voters elect unity over hate, repudiating the conspicuously blonde anti-Islam, anti-Europe Geert Wilders who lost half of his party’s seats in the election last Wednesday. Sweden’s Government representatives, in a selfindulgent departure from neutrality, send a bitchy tweet claiming Wilders defeat to be “good news.”

Somewhere in California, the filmmaker responsible for the B-Grade anti-Islam film which has sparked anger and violence amongst ultra-conservative Muslims across the world for its derogatory depiction of the prophet Muhammad, goes into hiding. The sad fact remains: the production values in that ‘film’ are terrible.

In Germany, the Constitutional Court restrains itself from single-handedly destroying the Eurozone and sending capitalism to the grave, by dismissing a claim that Europe’s permanent bailout fund is unconstitutional. Now two years into the ‘crisis’, Salient has finally decided to stop buying euro-bonds.

In Blenheim, a couple who were evicted from their council flat last month have found alternate accommodation in the lead-up to their tenancy tribunal hearing. As an advocate of the basic human right to shelter since way back, Salient is pleased.

SPECULATING ON HUGO CHÁVEZ’ LAST STAND P H I L L I PA W E B B

Although the Latin American nation of Venezuela is most well known for the number of times it has won Miss World, all eyes are on the nation’s upcoming presidential election which could erupt in a battle for democracy and oil.

The election set for October 7 will be a battle between Venezuela’s President Hugo Chávez, and rival political young-gun Henrique Capriles.

Chávez was first elected in 1998 on a populist platform, carrying out a number of steps that he says are reshaping his country’s economy to match his vision of “21st century socialism.”

Now 57, he runs a tight state-controlled ship and has nationalised telephone, electricity and media companies, while ‘playing God’ in the nation’s economy.

But what makes the West nervous is Chávez’s power to counter American influence in the region by seizing oil assets from American and European energy companies. It happened, and they were pretty upset.

Some critics also argue that despite the country’s oil wealth, Chávez’s autocratic leadership has made no major impact on the chronic poverty, unemployment, and crime that plagues Venezuela.

Yet Chávez still retains support from the poverty-stricken masses and state-owned company employees who feel that their jobs depend on Chávez remaining president, 10

despite a recent cancer scare that raised concerns about his ability to lead.

Motorbike-riding 39-year-old opposition candidate Capriles, who jokingly asked the wife of another presidential hopeful to find him a girlfriend, has received more support than any other candidate that has attempted to break the Chávez rule. The young lawyer tweeted that his campaign is a “countdown to opening the door to the future.”

Capriles’ policies are “centrist” and he has emphasised the need for better education to beat Venezuela's high levels of crime.

The world is watching this election closely, which is widely viewed as referendum on the socialist hold of Venezuela that has lasted more than 13 years.

If Chávez uses dirty tactics to win the election, it may trigger major political crisis that pits countries seeking to restore democracy in Venezuela against those who support Chávez.

The United States and European Union are biting their nails about the impact this would have on their access to Venezuelan oil resources.

So while Chávez sings and dances on his own television show Aló Presidente and hangs out with American actor Sean Penn on his campaign trail, the world is watching with bated breath to see what will happen in October.

NEWS

OvER HEaRD A T VI C Overheard in Film101: Guy 1: “Hey man why do you take all your notes on a laptop” Guy 2: “I never got my pen licence in primary school” Guy 3: “Yea bro that’s some serious shit aye, way more serious than your drivers” Cameron Cederholm Overheard on the overbridge: Random guy to friends: “apparently jerkin off to gay porn raises your sperm count.”

Anastasia Micallef

the

Overheard at PHIL106: Lecturer: “No one during foreplay ever said, lets kill some embryos...”

Alexandra Pearson

WEEK 

that

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Overheard at Kelburn: Chinese guy says to Japanese guy: “I’m just not Asian enough!!!”

Kelsea Whyte

WASN'T

Overheard at ARTH112 Lecture: “If David Bain can get engaged, I can.”

Lizzie Murray

HUGO McKINNON

DOCTOR WHO MARATHON CONDUCIVE TO STUDY, MAYBE. New research by Victoria University psychology student Aaron McCoy found that a 14 hour marathon of seasons five and six of Doctor Who was highly conducive to increasing his concentration while studying.

“Well at least I’m totally sure that would be the case if I ever actually completed the study.”

“I was too busy watching seasons five and six, come on.”

Some students hoped a new show which about a time travelling, meth cooking, Stephen Fry, would increase their ability to memorise and retain information in an academic setting. However those who have view the pilot episode deemed the show as: “Unfortunate”, “not as wonderful as you might think,” and “the most unrealistic show since Downton Abbey.”

“Frankly it’s unacceptable for someone to expect I watch such a derivative, but more importantly one with only six hours of viewing time per year.”

McCoy could not be reached for comment on the show, having blinked.

FLATMATE EVER SO SLIGHTLY TOO NICE. Aaron McCoy’s flatmates have for sometime been musing over the possibility that he may be ever so slightly too nice, but just can’t quite put their fingers on what’s wrong him.

“Like... he’s from Fielding, so I just feel like something should be wrong with him you know?” said flatmate, Marie.

McCoy is reportedly an excellent flatmate, cleaning dishes when asked, and an economical and skillful cook.

“But I wish he’d just piss us all off by buying sandwich sliced bread instead of toast sliced or keep all the plates in his room” said other flatmate Janine.

“I want to feel alive.”

“The least he could do is to come home drunk and wake me up before an exam to confess his love for that one chick in his lecture. I’d like that.”

On Monday McCoy was asked to leave by his flatmates after stacking the pots in order of size for easier access.

Overseen at vic: A guy practically mugging a girl as she claimed her free V. He swooped in and started wrestling her for the can. I said to the guy, “dude, what the fuck?” and he was like “Snarf it was a free for all snarf” and then he sat down and pretended to do a crossword. He was unsuccessful in his mugging of the girl. And she walked away triumphant in claiming a free can of V. Cory Knights Overheard at Pipitea: “I guess I can’t complain because I got an A+, but it's still annoying”.

No you fucking can’t.

Matt Oldfield Overheard in Phil 106 Lecture: Tutor: “You can lead a horse to water... but you can’t make it have sex on film.”

Overheard on courtney place friday night: “I would rather hear my own death scream than listen to gangnam style” Tobias Otting Overheard at Vic: “Did Auckland have free sausages? I think I like Vic better for the sausage.”

Theo Brown Email snippets of Vic life to overheard@salient.org.nz, or find overheard@vic on Facebook.

11

act on campus

nz first youth

ACT on Campus supports measures that lower the cost the trade and remove necessary trading barriers. The Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement is a multilateral trade agreement that supports these propositions. However, it must not be burdened by more regulations are rules than before or it will defeat its purpose.

No. The removal of trade barriers is a laudable goal but one that is often undermined by realpolitik – an inescapable part of international relations. The Government’s first priority in any trade talks should be protecting New Zealand’s economic sovereignty. The TPP would give big foreign corporations the ability to undermine our democratic process and stop future governments from changing the law in ways that they believe might harm their profits. This must be opposed.

Michael Warren

Josh Van Veen

♔

PA RT I S AN

♔

SALIENT ASKED, “Do you support the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement?”

THE HACKS RESPOND...

vic labour

greens at vic

vic nats

As it stands, we do not support the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement. If it was negotiated in a way which would be good for New Zealand then we would consider supporting it, however at present, it does not look likely that this will happen.

Unfortunately, Greens at Vic’s representative did not deign to respond to Salient’s perfectly reasonable query. What a shame.

The VicNats believe that reducing the trade barriers that our exporters and importers face is an important way of increasing their competitiveness in the Asia-Pacific region, something that the TPP achieves. Any agreement which restricts the government from regulating in the public interest, would simply not be accepted.

Morehu Rei

Christian Hermansen

12

HARD FOR JOHNSON HAMISH MCCONNOCHIE

movement has seen the Republicans shift right, putting Romney at odds with conservatives. In such a tight election, the Republicans will need to make sure all their supporters come out and vote in the crucial swing states. The tip for Ryan therefore is aimed at ensuring tea partiers vote, rather than staying at home, which is as good as a vote for Obama when trying to overcome a deficit.

The addition of Ryan to the ticket seems to also be in hope of tapping into Ron Paul’s market of college students. The most libertarian of the Republican nominees, save for Gary Johnson, Ron Paul’s message of liberty resonated amongst white males in their early twenties and the reasoning seems to be that if Ryan is half Paul’s age, he must have a shot of winning over those voters. Ryan is no libertarian but he wants to cut things in the traditional tea party way, something which may have crossover.

In the days following the announcement of Ryan joining the campaign, he held media events at colleges in crucial states. It remains to be seen whether students can be energised behind this man though. Ryan is a Congressman from Wisconsin, one of those crucial swing states, and his place on the ticket hasn’t changed that. If he can’t turn his home state red, it’s unlikely he’ll bring in those college votes.

13

Gary Johnson, the former two-term, termlimited Republican Governor of New Mexico—a state that votes two-to-one Democrat—is relatively unknown, but may yet have an effect on the outcome of the election. New Mexico, while small, is undecided, along with neighbouring Colorado. Polling indicates that Johnson, who is running on the Libertarian Party ticket, is having a notable “spoiler effect” in there, “taking votes away” from Obama.

Johnson, as you may expect with his socially liberal policies, goes both ways, and is also taking votes off Romney in other crucial states. The Romney campaign has responded by waging a legal challenge against Johnson in an attempt to remove him from a ballot in Michigan, Pennsylvania, the District of Columbia, Iowa and Ohio.

With his liberal immigration policies and opposition to tariffs, subsidies and other trade restrictions, Johnson’s policies are perhaps some of the most beneficial to New Zealanders, in terms of exporting. Could he be the Ross Perot or Ralph Nader of this election? I hope so, even if it is just to keep things spicy.

Hamish is generally wrong. 

@mishviews



PHOTO BY CHANDRA MILLER

We’re nearly there. The marathon that is the US Presidential race is entering the most exciting phase of the contest. With the conventions gone and running mates picked, there are only a few debates before the media’s attention turns to the sprint finish of Election Day. The incumbent, President Obama, has been holding a slim lead over his main rival, Mitt Romney, with the percentage points between the two fluctuating. Percentage points don’t count for much in this battle though—the electoral college system means a handful of swing states is where the outcome of the election will be decided.

I’m not going to spend the column explaining how the electoral college system works, (see bit.ly/3hEa4M instead) but expect to hear the likes of “Ohio”, “Florida” and “Virginia” coming up regularly over the next few months. The undecided states are where Romney and Obama will be campaigning, and where the media’s focus will be.

During the trimester break, Mitt Romney announced Paul Ryan as his running mate; the first “member” of Generation X to contest the Vice-Presidency for one of the major parties. Romney’s decision to select Ryan is down to two main reasons.

Romney has been labelled a “Massachusetts Moderate” (see bit.ly/PkBqT4) by (former-) rivals within his party. The Tea Party

Cleverness.

(Or, Cultivating Your Social Awkwardness to Create a Presumption of Intelligence is Easier than Actually Studying) In an—unprecedented, obviously—discussion of my own personal failings, I believe myself to be dismissive of certain intelligences that are neither in my possession nor command my direct interest. I place too high a value on “traditional” types of intelligence and, as such, resort to skullduggery to emulate them myself. Forsaking makeup in order to appear more serious about your studies requires either self-confidence or a dismal financial situation. Guess which applies here.

When I spelled ‘allergic’ to my school principal as a six-year-old, they declared me ‘onto it’. I was bugged (alleged, never proven) and placated with my own reading box. The adjoining ‘what happens when the others catch up?’ mentality inspired the pig-headed brand of knee-jerk conservatism I propound to this day. In the subsequent fifteen years, the others have all learned how to read. And now they’re old enough to vote, too. I quake.

Having asserted my dominance, I did nothing but read for the next few years of my life. I don’t remember watching a lot of TV (read: didn’t see a movie that wasn’t Disney until

I was nine.) The first movie I saw with real socializing, shunning any spare time to actually people in it was the 1999 rom-com Drive engage with agonizing mandatory papers and Me Crazy starring Melissa Joan Hart. Shortly justifying a lower grade average. afterward I ended up in A&E after trying to Cleverness is not synonymous with good decide between her and Sarah Michelle Gellar marks. The latter are merely a possible as to which was my favourite actress. I don’t manifestation of the former. All they require is look back fondly on these formative years. The that you resign yourself to a deeply unsatisfying realisation that having three names was not, personal life. (Be realistic. You can’t have strictly speaking, just cause for a pedestal was everything; it increases your chances of excruciating. getting cancer.) I hardly need to feel stupid At high school I studied hard to make up for the vast majority of the time that I am not having overly broad shoulders and a fear of receiving academic accolades. Hence, I have the effects of alcohol. (In formulated a Plan of a spate of fifteen-year-old “As a result of this prioritisation, Action for enhancing I now have ver y low alcohol recklessness reminiscent of my appreciation of tolerance, woeful sexual experience, intangible intelligence. every BBC documentary and a wide knowledge of French on chavs your parents have Said Plan will be prepositions” ever gasped at, I drank half denoted by the an Archers’ mixer one New pleasingly palindromic Years’ Eve. ERMERGHERD WHERT ER RAW acronym HSVVSH: Hobbies. Sedatives.

DERHG.) As a result of this prioritisation, I Vocations. Vacations. Strenuous exercise. And now have very low alcohol tolerance, woeful hummus. Now, I know what you are thinking. sexual experience, and a wide knowledge “This should really be an initialism. Not an of French prepositions. This is undermined acronym. I’ll write to the editors and assert only by my narrow knowledge of French my literati credentials. She’s gonna look so propositions, which apparently are how French lashed.” Do your worst. They’re utilitarians, people pull. Anyway, I don’t want to talk and pronouncing HSVVSH like it’s spelled will about it. At tertiary level, I have found taking cure me of my irrational fear of bees. five papers to be an excellent way of avoiding 14

SCIENCE

THE END IS NIGH. NO, REALLY.

what's it up to?

BAS SUCKLING

This week in ‘How We’re All Going to Die’—if rising sea level, nuclear annihilation, global food crisis, or the rapture don’t get us, then perhaps this will.

The Apophis asteroid is predicted to come dangerously close in 2029, and again in 2036 if it was just teasing the first time, which isn’t great news for those of us investing in Kiwi Saver or collecting limited edition My Little Pony toys, in the hope that one day they will be worth millions. Happily, however, NASA (the dudes who brought us the Mars Rover) have been coming up with plots to deter it before we graduate and have to assume the responsibility. Check this shit out.

Nuke it—self explanatory.

Give it a kinetic love tap to bounce it out of the way (some say nuking it is going too far).

Paint it white to change the amount of

radiation it absorbs, which will divert its path.

Attach a solar sail to it, to catch solar radiation and divert its path.

Put it in a net to divert it—apparently this works in a similar way to the above two.

Point mirrors at it—strategically positioned mirrors could concentrate solar rays, heat a small portion of an asteroid's surface, and cause it to spew vapours. As this material ejects from the asteroid, it would provide a little thrust to alter the space rock's path.

Strap a rocket to it, and use the thrust from that to divert the path of the asteroid—simple!

Tow it with gravity—theoretically, all we'd have to do is navigate a hefty robot close to the asteroid and tow it away with the gentle, gentle pull of gravity.

Have robots munch on it—The idea is to send nuclear-powered robots to a threatening

asteroid, where they'd land and begin mining or "chewing" into the surface of the rock. They would then eject these fragments into space at high speed via electromagnets (my favourite).

Send Bruce Willis up there to sacrifice himself for the good of humanity—he’s had practice.

It is a real concern, not just a (fantastic) Hollywood plotline. A repeat of the mass extinction at the Cretaceous/Tertiary boundary that killed nearly all life on earth (including our bros the dinosaurs) is something we might want to avoid.

But don’t worry about it too much, there are more pressing things on the world’s governments' minds, this is basically a quick fix.

I mean, the US defence budget last year was greater than the cumulative running budget of NASA since it started in 1958. Priorities in order.

P AT E N T P R O B L E M S & T H E G L O RY OF JASON DERULO W I L B U R TOW N S E N D

Azealia Banks can be the answer. The 21-yearold New Yorker has launched onto the global hip-hop stage, riding the success of her phenomenal debut '212'.

Frighteningly, her ascension was almost halted by legalistic ambiguity. '212’s backing track is derived from Lazy Jay’s 'Float my Boat'. In October 2011 a disgruntled Lazy managed to have '212 taken off Youtube. The catapult that would launch Banks into stardom was very suddenly falling apart.

Thankfully, Banks and Lazy settled things amicably, with '212' returning to Youtube and Lazy being credited as a contributor.

Nonetheless, ‘sampling’—the use of another artist’s track within a new song—remains controversial. All music has some degree of imitation and extension, but the rise of hiphop, which is based around sampling, has led to a horde of pissed-off (or greedy) artists wanting credit and money for what they see as theirs. Do they deserve it?

Intellectual property rights—like copyrights, patents and trademarks—exist because people make things for a reason, and that reason needs to be protected. Without patents, companies might not invent cool shit, because they would be afraid that other companies will steal their ideas. Without trademarks, firms might not develop brands, as other firms could steal them too. Intellectual property gives people a reason to invest.

That justification doesn’t make sense when talking about music. The Verve’s 'Bittersweet Symphony' takes its iconic string motif from the Rolling Stones’ 'The Last Time'. The Stones successfully sued The Verve, and ended up with both songwriting credits to the entire song and all of its royalties. This was totally ridiculous. Jagger and Richards would still have written 'The Last Time' if they had known it would end up sampled: they weren’t hurt by the new song at all. Indeed, it actually helped them by inspiring interest in their old work.

The case wasn’t protecting the incentive to 15

create good music; it was doing the opposite.

Much more mature was the approach taken

by Imogen Heap, whose 'Hide and Seek was bastardised in Jason Derülo’s 'Whatcha Say'. 'Hide and Seek' is a masterpiece, and 'Whatcha Say' has less artistic merit than most dog poops. Despite this, Derülo topped the American Billboard charts while 'Hide and Seek' has been ghettoed to stoner parties in Newtown flats. Yet Heap approaches sampling with extraordinary goodwill. She tweeted that “Jason Derülo had my permission... Love or hate me for it—Hide and Seek has a life of it’s own. I love it’s madcap journey”. She put aside any artistic angst and was willing to appreciate the power of unrestrained creativity.

Sampling doesn’t hurt anybody, and continues to deliver us extraordinary music. To oppose it is to oppose the creative process. We have no right to stop the creation of wonderful things.

A

Radical Departure Axe attacks, communists, & one untrained, inexperienced litigant.

1.

CHRIS McINTYRE

“The only real radicalism in our time will come as it always has—from people who insist on thinking for themselves” CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS In 1844, nine years prior to New Zealand’s first parliamentary elections, Ngāpuhi chief Hōne Heke famously felled a flagpole bearing the Union Jack at Russell—known then as Kororareka—to protest the unfulfilled promises of the British. The second, third and iron-clad fourth (and final) iterations of the pole were felled, too.† Indeed, the story of radical protest in New Zealand is older than our democracy itself.

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Politics

4.

“Back in 1879, Timaru’s main street beheld the Orange Riot between Protestants and Catholics. Witnesses described the proceedings as a “tense standoff”, sure to have caused quite a flutter in Timaru watercooler discussion at the time.”

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2.

A

nd yet, radicalism continues: 10-minutes' walk from the Kelburn Campus is Wellington’s Radical Social Centre.

Situated at 128 Abel Smith Street on the shoulder of the bypass, the Centre features a bike workshop, anarchist library, a space for marginalised genders, meeting places and an art and music practice area. The Centre distributes bread and produce (produce is donated from market gardeners around 3pm on Sundays), can host travellers, and is open to anyone who meets the guiding principles.

These guiding principles—recognising Māori as tangata whenua; opposing oppression; valuing transparency; responsibility and cooperative behaviour; and respecting diversity—seem more sensible than radical.

The house is extremely left-wing and indeed the term radicalism tends to refer to those espousing left-wing political values; values which desire systemic change and are sometimes pursued through revolutionary action. No defining criteria exist for a ‘radical’ action or belief though, and as such ‘radical’ is often deployed as a pejorative term (think the antithesis of conservative).

Salient arrived unannounced at 128—opening times are posted on the front door—and

spoke to Tom, a caretaker and member of the collective which runs the house. Initially, Tom was wary of talking to Salient, a stance informed by journalistic misrepresentations of the house in the past—he is acutely aware of the stigma which surrounds the house, and how representations affect this.

Tom explains though that the collective which runs 128 is made up of not only direct-action radicals and anarchists, but of members representing a wide range of views. They operate on a consensus basis, a process which can be frustrating at times, and relies heavily on good communication, compassion and consideration.

It’s a “hub for activism and alternative ways of living,” Tom says, a “role model of what we can do collectively by incorporating intersecting political ideology,” and “a place for the marginalised” even if the marginalised are apolitical. According to Tom, it’s the only radical space in the country, discounting commercial entities like a Dunedin-based anarchist bookstore.

The quiet status of 128 speaks to how radicalism has changed since Heke’s act of protest in Kororareka over 160 years ago. While 128 was only established in 2002, the history of

radicalism can be traced in locations like it.

Back in 1879, Timaru’s main street beheld the Orange Riot between Protestants and Catholics. Witnesses described the proceedings as a “tense standoff”, sure to have caused quite a flutter in Timaru watercooler discussion at the time.

Notwithstanding Timaru, New Zealand has a number of other historical flashpoints for public protest: Christchurch’s Cathedral Square has hosted public protests since the 1880s. Te Aro Park—the triangular strip between Courtenay Place and Dixon Street—was Wellington’s protest hub circa 1930; including anti-war marches. It’s now home to various alcoholic vagrants, public toilets, a high concentration of triangular seats, Hope Bros, Calendar Girls, and Wellington’s least ambitious fountain—how far we’ve come. Queen Street is Auckland’s route de résistance, while to this day the Lambton Quay route to Parliament continues to be well traversed by the radically-minded.

Over time, these sites have become accepted stages for the expression of various radical agendas—though by no means the only platforms, as the recent Waihopai spy base case outside of Blenheim shows. Sporting grounds became some such alternate stages for public discontent, during what remains perhaps our most famous instance of political radicalism— opposition to the 1981 Springbok rugby tour. Images of locations so often associated with national glory converted into stadia of international shame remain ingrained in the national psyche to this day.

Opposition to apartheid was not the only major protest movement of the 1980s and ‘90s. With movements in support and opposition for Treaty of Waitangi breaches, homosexual law reform, Rogernomics and womens rights, the period was in fact rife with protest—radical and otherwise.

Visiting US warships were greeted with ‘peace flotillas’ of small boats, and union protests continued until the Employment Contracts Act 1991 gutted union power.

Radical actions through the 1980s and '90s continued on the foundations provided by radical youths in the 1960s and ‘70s. This generation famously expressed anti-conservative counter-culture sentiments, marching and

1. Protest march against wage reductions, Lambton Quay, 1930s, 1/2-048289-G, by Sydney Charles Smith.

2. Protester stand on bow of submarine USS Haddo, EP-Navy-Warships-USS Haddo-02, The Dominion Post Collection, Alexander Turnbull Library.

3. Peter Fraser circa 1940, PAColl-5547-033, photographed

by S P Andrew Ltd. 4. Springbok tour demonstrators overturn a car, Auckland, Ethics-Demonstrations-1981 Springbok tour-04, The Dominion Post Collection, Alexander Turnbull Library.

5. Heke fells the flagstaff at Kororareka. McCormick, Arthur David, 1860-1943. A-004-037

6.

5.

performing sit-ins against the Vietnam War, the suppression of minority rights (Māori and women, in particular), and nuclear power.

With the arrival of the ideas of Karl Marx in New Zealand in 1871—through one James McPherson’s correspondence with the International Working Men’s Association— Communism become another ideological beacon to which New Zealanders flocked. By 1921— five years after the Labour Party had been established—New Zealand had its very own Communist Party.

The movement faced significant challenges; leadership struggles, ideological schisms, and divisive infighting ate away from within, while externally, arrests of member on the grounds of sedition were commonplace. Through these struggles, the CPNZ never gained any real momentum, their zenith the 1963 general election, where they received a shade over 5,000 votes. The CPNZ later became the Socialist Worker, a group which voted to dissolve itself in early 2012.

Protests are not only the tip of the radical iceberg, but for wider social movements too.

To get to the point of producing a coherent

18

public order or health. What exactly constitutes such an infringement can be contentious at times. Indeed, there is a history of police ending protests through measures later found to be a breach of protesters rights.

It took until 2007 however, until one of the most significant barriers to protest, New Zealand’s sedition laws, were repealed. Defined as “speech, writing or behaviour intended to encourage rebellion or resistance against the government”, sedition laws were used on both radical and what might be considered lessthan-radical subjects alike—New Zealand’s 24th Prime Minister, Peter Fraser, spent a year of his youth imprisoned on charges of sedition stemming from opposition to World War I and conscription. The eventual repeal of the laws came as a response to widespread criticism following political activist Timothy Selwyn’s conviction for sedition—the first such conviction in 75 years.

7.

Selwyn’s conviction came after he threw an axe through then-Prime Minister Helen Clark’s electorate office window and distributed expression of collective distaste, there’s a pamphlets in reaction to the Foreshore and mass of ground work to cover in terms of Seabed Act 2004. While the legitimacy of the intellectual arguments, logistical arrangements, wilful damage charge was not in doubt, Selwyn and conceptual aims—Lenin once said, was supported across the political spectrum “Without revolutionary theory, there can be no in his view that sedition laws infringed on revolutionary movement”. freedom of speech. According to then-Minister While some protests achieve their objectives—a of Justice Mark Burton, sedition laws had hikoi in 1975 helped to usher in the Treaty of become “a tool of political persecution”. With Waitangi settlement process for the Crimes (Repeal of Seditious the return of Māori land—many “In Easton’s words, Offences) Amendment Act do not. Regardless, the act of passing 114-7—New Zealand ‘I'm an untrained, protest is not just an important uneducated litigant and First opposed on anti-terrorism facet of radical movements, but grounds—radicalism in New they don't want that also a foundational aspect of the Zealand gained an important kind of litigant beating participatory democracy upon legal foothold. their top lawyers. It's which New Zealand prides itself By the time the Urewera on. Protest informs politicians on really easy to point the Seventeen (later the Urewera finger at me and forget the concerns of the populace and Four) were in the spotlight, the provides avenues for governments that what I'm saying is legal framework surrounding to be held to account. right’.” radicalism was less apparent.

While the right to public protest The 2007 terror raids, a response is enshrined in law through the protection of to intelligence gathered on military-style freedom of expression and peaceful assembly in training camps in the Urewera ranges, used the Bill of Rights Act 1990, such liberties extend the Terrorism Suppression Act and Arms Act only so far as our actions do not infringe on the as the basis for conducting search and seizure rights of other individuals, national security, operations at a number of radical locations,

Politics 8. including 128. This had ramifications for the radical community beyond those directly involved, as the charges brought against the subjects of the Urewera Raids was enough to make many activists disillusioned with the process—the risk of five years jail for seemingly platonic involvement was too great for some, especially those with families. Many activists ceased or diversified their involvement in the face of growing mainstream interest.

Such public scrutiny has been the bane of two Wellington-based radicals in particular: activist Benjamin Easton and artist Tao Wells have been plagued with an unfortunate desire to bite the hand that feeds—both are unemployed, and have had their benefit payments ended after radical actions. Easton, a self-described “unemployed political busker” revealed he had nary a job interview in over three years on the dole, and Wells’ publically-funded art installation advocating the opportunities and benefits of unemployment and urging people to abandon jobs they don’t like.

Radical actions such as these have often created public distaste, perhaps hurting their cause(s).

Easton has been threatened with jail time for avoiding community service, for which he was sentenced after the public vandalism of Manners Mall with a sledgehammer in protest of the introduction of bus lanes. The Wellington City Council has moved to class Easton as a ‘vexatious litigant’, thus rescinding his right to litigate, after $350,000 in legal bills. In Easton’s words, “I’m an untrained, uneducated litigant and they don’t want that kind of litigant beating

their top lawyers. It’s really easy to point the finger at me and forget that what I’m saying is right”.

Wells too is mired in public ire, through his artistic and oral statements. He was received poorly by the employed citizens who funded his radicalism when he declared “we should never be forced to take a job”. While they both fight for what Easton calls “the public interest”, it is up to the public to form their own conclusions on the views of contemporary society’s radicals.

Mark Twain once offered that “the radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.” Tom disagrees; “radicals aren’t fighting for what we’ll get tomorrow. The ongoing struggles and halfvictories we get from legislation always leave room for a lot of improvement”. While radicals receive a certain amount of social stigma, many of the legal and social liberties we enjoy today were the result of hard-fought, hard-won battles from previous generations of radicals fighting for causes they believed in.

New Zealand’s radical history is a proud one, and the fight certainly continues through people like John Minto, the Occupy movement, We Are The University, environmental groups, filmmakers and students. Whether or not you agree with contemporary radical sentiments, our history and community would be all the more dull in their absence—perhaps it’s time we started to think about the people who insist on thinking for themselves. ▲

6. Vietnam War demostrators removed from Prime Minister’s suite, Wellington. 1/4-071875-F. Photograph taken June 1965 by Morrie Hill.

7. 1940s Communist Party poster. Eph-C-ROTHCommunist-1940s-001, The Roth Collection.

8. Benjamin Easton (2009), photo by Vaughan Elder, newswire.co.nz.

† One branch this article will not touch on is the Maori ‘radical’ movement; while Maori protest has a storied history—one which reflects the injustices perpetrated against them—I am loathe to address it as radicalism. It is this writer's opinion that the journey towards redress for historical wrongs should be considered no more ‘radical’ than, say, the human rights movement. The the exclusion of such actions in this piece on radicalism reflects this.

THE EDITORSHIP IS A FULL-TIME, PAID POSITION beginning in February 2013.

The Editor employs and leads a team of paid and volunteer staff and has overall responsibility for Salient 2013. Salient is produced weekly during term-time and comprises 25 issues throughout the year.

Applicants should have mainstream or student journalism experience, have excellent communication, leadership, budgeting and organisational skills, and some management experience. An interest in student issues, as well as national and international affairs is vital. Mac knowledge is preferable.

Salient Editor APPLICATIONS ARE NOW OPEN FOR Salient Editor 2013 (Publications Editor).

Applications should include a CV, portfolio of writing, and a cover letter outlining your vision for Salient 2013.

Applications close 5pm, 24 September.

Please direct all applications and enquiries to EDITOR@SALIENT.ORG.NZ OR CALL (04) 463 6766.

Unfriended Staying super safe & savvy while having lots of fun & making heaps of friends surfing the Facebooks.

ISABELLA WHITFIELD

This is the most relevant article you will read in your entire life. Your social survival is tied to your Facebook self; they are inseparable. Oh, so you don’t use FB because you don’t prescribe to the notion that people should know every facet of your life? You do not matter. If there is anything that we can say with absolute certainty, it’s that Facebook is Life 2.0. Your image is everything. You must sell yourself if you ever want to be taken seriously.

Your activity on Facebook isn’t about reflecting your personality, but a personality that others will actually like. Here’s a quick how-to guide for achieving your dream: Facebook popularity.

M

aking friends: To gain ‘friends’ on Facebook, people need to know who you are. Unless you’re befriending fourteen year old girls (best fucking not be), random strangers won’t accept your request. So make a point of saying your full name (for example, Isabella Whitfield) to those who you meet in real life as many times as possible. As Isabella Whitfield, I can achieve this subtly by relating it to the conversation.

Enjoy the following example: “Oh, you like flowers? That’s funny ‘cause my name is Isabella Whit‘field’ and flowers grow in fields! Let’s be best friends!” This will make everyone love you and want to make out with your face—but more importantly, like your statuses.

Be seen at events. Make sure you look hawt in every photo you’re tagged in. Be sure that all content posted by others about you showcases you as the witty, pretty and modest individual you are. If not, harass the person who uploaded

it. Tell them to “TAKE IT THE FUCK DOWN OMG YOU CAN SEE MY DOUBLE CHIN”

by calling, texting, messaging or by filing a defamation of character suit against them. The sooner you act on inappropriate content, the better; seconds on Facebook are like whole minutes in the real world.

Post frequency and importance: You must know what your audience wants; they are your masters. You will get bonus points for posting things you personally have created, as long as it’s not a video of something mundane like you talking about a sandwich you’re planning to make (actually, I’d watch that). If you post too much or your posts have no substance, you will be an annoyance and people will hide you from their feed.

Like this article and I’ll send you a picture of my cat's left paw. Also I don’t need to know when you have made cupcakes unless one has my name on it and I can eat it Tell them to “TAKE IT THE FUCK DOWN OMG YOU CAN while you film me (OMG let’s be SEE MY DOUBLE CHIN” by calling, texting, messaging or YouTube famous, I’ll go get a kitten).

by filing a defamation of character suit against them.”

20

BE SURE TO AVOID: Family and Facebook: Your mother may not be

familiar with netiquette, and may share a photo from the page ‘~My Inner child Is a Drunken Whore~’. She will comment on photos of you asking you if you have gotten that rash sorted out. She will have access to you all the time and know when you ‘are available to talk’. Never be available to talk.

Attention seeking: Posting a status of a frowny

face may seem like a good way of getting lots of attention online, but nobody likes a needy bitch. Also, while we are on the topic, don’t post quotes like this: “It is possible to cross an ocean without wetting legs. It’s impossible to cross the life without wetting eyes”.

Correcting others’ spelling and grammar: Don’t

you know that language is fluid? Srsly, i wIl rite h0w i lyk MynD yhur oWn Bizniz K. Depression: Facebook is meant to be a place

where people can feel connected but it often has the opposite effect. It is important to keep your spirits up in this superficial endeavour. Since you will be spending a lot of time on Facebook, make a fun little game of looking at your feed. For instance, if you have a lot of family members as friends, take a shot every time you see someone using their baby as a profile picture.

Do a double shot if you see an account made for a baby. If you have a lot of bogan friends take a shot every time they post lyrics as statuses. If your friends are politically minded, take a shot every time they post about ‘the opposition’ being shitty. Actually, don’t; you will die.

Finally, if all else fails post the following: “like my status and i will inbox you a confession ;)” ▲

Politics

Dance,

Puppets, Dance Succeeding in Life Through the Art of Callous Manipulation CARLO SALIZZO

Humankind has always favoured particular characteristics, generally speaking. Exactly what those characteristics happen to be at any given time is a shifty and elusive beast, difficult to pin down—much like an amoral badger covered in grease. Once upon a time it was physical prowess, but as we have evolved and matured, so too have our preferred characteristics. I think you can see where I’m going with this.

In this day and age, the most desired characteristic is the ability to ruthlessly play your fellow human beings off against one another in a Machiavellian display of chess grandmastership.

If you live by the tenets of this article, and make a few minor changes to your life and habits, you’ll be politicking your way to fun and profit and people’s trousers before you know it.

The most immediate way to use political nous in your day to day life is by manipulating those closest to you. Keep a mental list of their interrelationships, their hopes, dreams and fears, and use this knowledge to your advantage.

Imagine humanity as a slightly less complicated version of The Sims. Analyse everyone: your significant other, workmates, flatmates, your bitter enemies. The latter is only possible if you never burn your bridges. No matter what someone has done to you, keep them close. You never know when they might be interviewing you for a promotion, or trusting you with their life savings.

Romance is even easier. The basic tenet of human attraction is that we want that which we cannot have—so long as the door is never completely closed. Devise a complex (and

fabricated) system of strict morals which forbid you from seeing anyone romantically, and apologise profusely to everyone you sleep with: to wit, ‘we really can’t keep doing this’. Remain in contact via technology, and with any luck you’ll build up a queue of hopefuls waiting patiently for you to become available, potentially for years. This has the happy side-effect of creating a legion of devotees who will spread your ever-widening influence.

as though everyting is going according to plan.

Separate your friends into factions who can be easily split along a clear fissure, and when one discovers your true nature, side with the other and gradually slide from the limelight, ideally laying all blame with a brash and physically attractive rival—your apparent deference will only lead to their demise.

“Do not grow close to anyone, under any

Loyalty is momentary, image circumstances. In today’s environment, sociopathy is is paramount, and dignity is a a competitive advantage. It remains crucial that you tool. Allow people to see your remember at all times what you are striving for.“ vulnerability only when it is feigned, especially in the early days before you have sterilised yourself of all Best of luck to you. It won’t be easy, it won’t be emotion. Do not grow close to anyone, under fun and it won’t be fulfilling. You’ll most likely any circumstances. In today’s environment, die sad and alone, embroiled in allegations of sociopathy is a competitive advantage. It corruption and mired in scandal. But these are remains crucial that you remember at all times the pitfalls of politicking. This is the foundation what you are striving for. That should not be upon which we rest our civilisation. Game the too complicated, since a necessary condition system and play to win. After all, in life as it is of gaining political power is to abandon your in statecraft, if you’re not a two-faced politician, dreams and dedicate yourself to retaining power. you’re a faceless statistic—choose your own adventure. ▲ Assume the moral high ground without justification, and when things go wrong, smile

Majority

Rules? democracy is the devil; someone call the exorcist!

R I C H A R D D ' AT H

In March 2010 National replaced the elected members of the Canterbury Regional Council with a group of unelected commissioners. The Council’s main job, which it was apparently not very good at, was to process resource consents. The move, and this week’s decision to continue to suspend democratic elections until 2016, triggered a wave of protest against this anti-democratic “dictatorship”. For many people, aside from any actual practical outcomes for the Canterbury region, the loss of democratic rights constituted an offence of the highest order.

22

Politics 

    



Sick of liberal democracy? 

Let’s look at some of the other models “flourishing” out there.

China

Bureaucratic Capitalist Autocracy

T

A one-party state that brought the party to its people. Uplifted a billion people from poverty by “encouraging” them to work in Dickensian hellholes. Most of its people seem fine with this. Those who don’t tend to face “corrective measures”. May or may not harvest criminal’s organs for fun and profit.

his peculiar fetishisation of democracy Because acquiring information comes with a pervades political discourse. cost. Informing yourself about the specifics Commentators from across the political and potential outcomes of policy takes time spectrum throw apoplectic fits at any and effort, which most people gain no tangible Singapore “attack on democracy”. Democracy is benefit from undertaking since statistically their Non-Liberal Democracy held out as a platonic ideal, some enlightened vote will never matter. Consequently, no one A multi-party democracy, as long as that party is discovery that should be defended at all costs. knows anything and votes either randomly, the PAP. Rich, with a booming economy and low on the basis of personality, or on the basis of levels of corruption. Really, really fond of executYet, it is a simple fact that democracy is a a fractured and inconsistent snapshot of the ing people, and for curbing annoying things like terrible form of government. Against any political spectrum. freedom of expression. objective standard, the democratic experiment has failed.

But even if voters actually knew how to vote The United States coherently, the system would still be terrible.

Across the world, democratic governments are Two-Party Derptatorship Voters, being inconveniently human, vote bloated waste-monsters, corrupt and actively The richest country in the world, unless you are for what they think will benefit them the and frequently stripping rights from vulnerable black. Has a lot of democracy, ranging from the most. Thus they seek benefit at the minorities. The United States elects federal to state to local level. Perpetually electing expense of others, strip minorities of “Across people for various roles ranging from President to buffoons who start trillion-dollar fundamental rights on the basis of local sheriff. Both parties have a strong idiot streak, wars, Greece elects to spend itself the world, marginal personal harms, prioritise and the whole system seems to run on an elaborate into a depression, marijuana users are democratic patronage system of kickbacks and pork barrels. their own comfort over the future persecuted and the gays can’t marry. governments are generations and generally dick It also somehow keeps working, since Americans Successive governments take action bloated wasteremain able to fill enormous houses with junk, and anyone who isn’t themselves. that we suspect will make our lives eat until they are morbidly obese. monsters, corrupt worse, make us poorer, make our Take the poorest people. For freshand actively children sick, and deny people rights. faced young Randians clutching Somalia and frequently We protest, we complain, we elect poorly understood copies of Atlas anarcho-capitalist utopia/pestilential shithole. striping rights the other team, and then it all starts Shrugged the poor constitute a Depending on who you talk to, Somalia is an from vulnerable again. threat—a heaving unproductive example of the good that comes when the state is absent (it has some of the most advanced and mass whose potential voting minorities.”

Governments, be they democratic competitively priced telecommunications in the power could allow them to steal or autocratic, operate by doing two world!), or is a shining example of how Things Can from net taxpayers to fund an ever-growing things. They either force people to give up Always Get Worse (famine! War crimes! Possible welfare machine. Of course, even if this were resources, backed-up with an implicit threat of genocide!). Certainly not a fun place to live, but possible, it doesn’t happen since the masses violence, or they ban people from doing things, neither is Eritrea, or Tanzania which both have have both the highest rate of non-voting, functioning central governments. Has a pirate stock backed-up by an implicit threat of violence. and are also the easiest voters to exploit with market, where struggling solo mothers can invest in When a warlord takes your crops to feed his deceptive messaging of bourgeois political elites.

RPG shares. soldiers, he does so by threatening to shoot Democracy is so fail that it even fails at failing. you. When the IRD does it, they do so by Russian Federation threatening to throw you in jail, and yes—if you Instead we get a hodgepodge of contradictory oligarchic kleptocracy resist, they will shoot you too. policies, mixing welfare lolly-scrambles with Has a multiparty parliament referred to as the big-business tax breaks, with a healthy dollop While the difference in method between a “Vladimir Putin”. Excellent place to be filthy rich, of random restrictions and arbitrary dictates dictatorship and a democracy is relatively minor which one achieves by abusing the levers of state to overseen by a ruling class of people who couldn’t participate in crony capitalism, which is capitalism we still like to distinguish them. We try to do succeed in business, or the arts, or anything without the important element of “competition”. this because a democratic government has a except being a freak in the most important circus Vladimir may or may not be a James Bond villain. “mandate” to do what it does. Even if it enacts of all. terrible policies, it’s justified because it has “the public will” behind it. Apparently if the warlord The thing is, though, that even with all these gets 50 per cent of your neighbours to agree, flaws, we have yet to find a system that works his theft is all good. Of course, this is patently any better. The problem is that, as debtabsurd, so instead we invent things like the ridden don’t-tax-but-still-spend democracies’ “social contract”, a fancy way of saying we think systematic failures bring them ever closer to the democracy generally makes our lives better. abyss, we seem to be in somewhat urgent need of a better system.

It’s a pity then, that democracy is rubbish.

“When a warlord takes your crops to feed his soldiers, Public choice economics asks how actors Let’s hope we find one, he does so by threatening to shoot you. When the IRD make decisions in a democratic context, and somewhere amongst vague the conclusions of these scientists are chilling. ideas like ‘seasteads’ and does it, they do so by threatening to throw you in jail” The average voter is, for want of a better word, ‘anarcho-syndicalist communes’ useless when it comes to evaluating policy and and ‘green democracies’. voting for what is best.

Frankly, though, it’s likely we won’t do anything at all, and will wake up one day and ask, “How This is not, however, a slur on the average voter. the hell did we fuck this up so bad?” The answer, They are not dumb. They simply choose not to of course, is democratically. ▲ know anything about politics or policy. Why?

1. Anarchism: Endorsed by: The Sex Pistols, Satan (but we repeat ourselves).

Philosophy: Government is about the control of the weak by the strong. The only way to end this abuse is to end the existence of government.

th

e

s

t n e i al

What happens to the sheep: There are no fences for your sheep. Other people steal your sheep. You steal other peoples’ sheep. You and your sheep might die young, but they die free.

er

ta

ria

n

1

lib

2. Conservatism Endorsed by: Mitt Romney, Bill English, Invercargill.

Philosophy: Our society has become strong because of key values and ideas that should be preserved from change, because they are good. Do what society tells you your heart tells you.

le

3

ft

What happens to the sheep: Don’t do anything with your sheep unless it’s been done before, because then at least you keep the sheep.

No funny business. Don’t paint your sheep to stand out from the crowd.

3. Social Democracy Endorsed by: Europe, George Clooney, Jesus Christ before he read Atlas Shrugged.

Philosophy: Similar at heart to communism, except there is a state, money, and people are allowed to want things. Needs are satisfied by taxing the rich and giving to the poor.

What happens to the sheep: The fattest sheep are slowly bled by bureaucrat sheep, with the blood being used to nourish less well-performing sheep. Some of the fattest sheep are starting to look a little ill...

idealising the Since the beginning of time when Eve took a bite of the apple of sin and man was condemned to an eternity of conflict, the world has been divided. To this day, these divisions can be confusing. Oftentimes it can be seemingly little more than a barrage

24

Politics

t guid e to 4

4. Libertarianism Endorsed by: Milton Friedman, Ayn Rand, Ron Paul, a small minority of wealthy white people.

Philosophy: The voluntary exchange of goods frees society from the state’s coercive tendencies, with the side effect of maximising prosperity. Keep the market free and you will be too.

2

What happens to the sheep: A entrepeneur secures a supply of sheep, selling them at prices high enough to encourage competing sheep sellers, ensuring competition and cheap and plentiful sheep. Those who can’t afford sheep sell their limbs for fertiliser.

ri gh

5. Totalitarianism

t

Endorsed by: Hitler, Voldemort, Winston Peters.

Philosophy: The big guy has the biggest guns, so you all listen to him. He issues commands about all aspects of life, and makes the military strong. Big Brother is here to keep you safe.

What happens to the sheep: Sheep are taken from some people and distributed to others in varying conditions, depending on whether you’ve paid your party membership. Sometimes sheep explode and kill people, but those people were enemies of the state.

au t h o rit

6. Theocracy

a ir an

6

5

Endorsed by: God, Colin Craig.

Philosophy: Separating the church and government separates morality from power. God has made rules, and it’s important that the government enforces them.

What happens to the sheep: The high priest takes your sheep and slaughters it as an offering to the big guy in the sky. The priest then eats the sheep. Similar to social democracy in this regard.

7

he Ideologues 7. Communism

of meaningless slogans and rotten fruit.

Fortunately though, Salient, armed with the traditional metric of sheep-related outcomes, is here to help you on your journey to become an informed and actively engaged citizen.

Endorsed by: Stalin, Lenin, Barack Hussein Obama.

Philosophy: Everyone owns everything, so no one owns anything.

No state, no money, no problems. Communal ownership of the means of production, and goods are distributed according to need. Spread the love; spread it thin.

What happens to the sheep: One scrappy, underfed sheep is split—most evenly— between 300 million people. No one bothers to breed another sheep.

Fitter,

Happier, more

Productive Clamping Down On Sin To Create The Perfect You M O L LY M c C A R T H Y

“Eat 5+ a day!” “Exercise regularly!” “Drink responsibly!” “Smoking... Don’t even get us started!”

For many years, governments around the world have attempted to encourage individuals to be better, healthier versions of themselves. From the prohibition era to today’s anti-smoking witch-hunt, the arsenal of tools available to ruling powers, including legal, fiscal, and educational measures, have been employed to curb human vice, with varying levels of success. But when, and why, did optimal health become the goal that we are expected—and expect others—to reach?

26

Politics

considering the implementation of a higher RIGHTING OUR WRONGS: tax for manufacturers of drinks with added From the mid-19th century until the early 20th sugars, has also jumped on the better nutrition century, a wave of temperance and teetotalism bandwagon. swept throughout the Western world.

Prohibition movements, often led by protestants AN APPLE A DAY... or linked with women’s suffrage groups, pushed ...Keeps the doctor away”, or so the age-old for the outlawing of manufacture, transportation adage says. In a system of socialised healthcare, and sale of alcohol, which was considered the there is obvious reason for why governments root of all evil. In the United States, are so determined to keep the doctor the eighteenth amendment to the “That Snickers away: if we’re sick, we cost more.

Constitution introduced a nationdoesn’t seem wide ban on public manufacture and In New Zealand, the estimated sales of alcohol from 1920-1933. One nearly as annual cost of smoking in terms of effect was the reduction of alcohol lost production due to early death satisfying consumption by half; another was to or illness and related healthcare when its gooey costs totals $1.7 billion. Estimates boost the growth of organised crime and power of groups such as the caramel centre for alcohol abuse and obesity are American mafia, who made a killing is accompanied similarly high; with these dirty habits illegally distributing and selling to racking up $4.9 billion and $300 meet the huge demand for alcohol—a by the bold million per year respectively. thirst that no law could quench. reminder, ‘For But what about the value of the Where outright banning led to your health, pleasure we might derive from these bootlegging and moonshine, modern avoid snacking pursuits? There are obviously some governments have employed more benefits to smoking like chimneys, between subtly persuasive measures to drinking like fish, and stuffing encourage citizens to choose healthier meals’.” our faces, or these vices wouldn’t lifestyle options. While John Key be so damn popular. Taken to an has said that it is “unlikely” that extreme, it could be fair to say that the Government will outright ban tobacco most people would rather pursue pleasure and smoking, New Zealand’s relationship with ill-health and live for 40 years, than lead a life the cigarette has been a rocky one. From the of gym-going, healthy eating and high work humble beginnings of banning TV and radio productivity and live for 80. Perhaps there is a cigarette advertising in 1963, the government social value of happiness and good humour to has outlawed sales of single cigarettes (1988); these vices that is too easily overlooked. smoking in indoor public places (1990, 2004); SHIFTING THE YARDSTICK? tobacco sponsorship and signage in shops Long gone are the days when religious morality (1995), and, since July this year, the display of ruled our lives and laws. In the past thirty tobacco products in shops. Packets of cigarettes and tobacco are decorated with charming images years, New Zealand has legalised prostitution and homosexuality, and looks set to allow of rotten teeth, and it seems that you can’t pass same-sex marriage in the near future. As these a bus-stop without reading that Scribe envies anachronistic codes of morality fall by the people that don’t smoke. With a further increase wayside in the context of a modern, liberal, to tobacco excise duty and the possibility of secular society, are we simply looking to the plain packaging on the horizon, it seems that pages of Fitness Life instead of the Bible for a the Government is determined to leave no legal definition of what constitutes a good person? stone unturned in encouraging citizens to kick the habit.

In this modern age, where commandments and sins are not so black and white, the pursuit In the face of such measures, many beleaguered of good health seems to have become the new smokers have pointed to unhealthy vices that way to enlightenment. At the height of the do not face the same social stigma, such as prohibition era, alcohol was considered the unhealthy eating. The end of the golden age of ‘devil’s drink’ because it was inherently evil fat and sugar, however, is just around the corner. and its consumption would prevent drinkers In France, cigarette-style health warnings have from going to heaven. Today alcohol abuse is adorned all advertising for processed, sweetened, considered wrong because of the associated ‘sins’ or salted food and drinks since healthy eating of alcoholism and low productivity. The focus is legislation implemented the changes in 2007. no longer solely on the ‘vices’ themselves; rather, That Snickers doesn’t seem nearly as satisfying the idea of risking one’s health for pleasure when its gooey caramel centre is accompanied seems to be the core of the wrongfulness. by the bold reminder, “For your health, avoid snacking between meals”. Italy, currently

As society shifts away from the church as the centre of community, the pursuit of good health for ourselves and others is treated as a new common cause. In the US, for example, Healthy Communities initiatives, which encourage populations to work together to identify and reduce health issues in their community, have been hailed as a return to the thriving civil society of yesteryear. “The principles of Healthy Communities,” notes the Association of Schools of Public Health in its Public Health Reports 2000, “compel citizens to view community challenges holistically.” Where the villagers once converged on the town hall to discuss how to keep prostitutes off the street corners, today they gather to debate how to keep donuts out of the pantry.

Whether it’s a matter of simply balancing the books or the pursuit of some moral code fit for the modern age, one thing’s for certain: as far as the Government’s concerned, the party’s over, folks! ▲

Creating Model Citizens Iceland

From 1915-1922 the government required all bottles of liquor to bear a skull and crossbones, in an effort to scare children and spread the idea that hard liquor was synonymous with death.

Unfortunately, due to a human fascination with death and things that are “bad”, this plan backfired, and daring Icelanders soon began asking for “Black Death” over the counter. Today, Brennivin, a sort of Icelandic absinthe, is still colloquially known as Black Death.

China

In China’s Hubei province the government focussed on the tax revenue rather than health benefits of their cigarette tax, by encouraging citizens to smoke more in an effort to stimulate the economy. Fund-gathering measures included issuing local schools with smoking quotas for teachers, and fines for officials who failed to meet targets.

Illinois, USA

A 6.25 per cent tax applies to candy, but sugary foods are only considered candy if they don’t include flour. By extension of this logic, Milky Way bars are only for treat-time, but Twix bars are a regular food, so eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!   

Our

Confederacy of

Dunces Politics is a circus & we’re all responsible I . J . R E I L LY

From National MP Katrina Shank speaking in favour of the Copyright (Infringing File Sharing) Amendment Bill while not understanding it, to former Green Party MP Sue Kedgley supporting calls to ban ‘dihydrogen monoxide’, politics is full of examples of people and groups who have held opinions without much basis in fact or evidence. We all have opinions, but not all opinions are created equal, and while the hardest statement to make in politics is “I don’t know”; it is often the only honest one.

28

Politics

because they confirm the pre-existing biases of their audience. Biases the audience hold because of the prior reporting by the very same sources.

It is a feedback loop which erodes the desire for a contradictory second opinion. opinion not

“It is not easy or fun to hold a nuanced held by those around you, whether it is in the face of green haired hipsters, or besuited right wing trolls, and the time required to gain a nuanced understanding is generally more time than it is worth.”

Deepening this problem is the fact that people often don’t like to accept their own ignorance. Ask someone the following questions:

Do you have an opinion on asset sales? Do you have a detailed enough understanding of the economics behind asset sales to be able to judge whether they will have a positive or negative effect? If you think you do, did you get this from a reliable (non-partisan, thoroughly researched) source?

Their response will likely be yes to every question, even if its not true, and if you push them on their answers they will likely become defensive and aggressive. It’s natural to rely on our own opinions and thoughts, and to back ourselves even when there are biases underlying our thinking.

O

ne of the greatest concerns about majority rule is the fear that the majority are capable of being misled due to their reliance on second-hand information.

The misinformation around weapons of mass destruction that was used to justify the 2003 invasion of Iraq is often held up as a prime example of the failure of the media to critique the US public’s overwhelming support for the invasion, in spite of evidence that the ‘intelligence’ being promoted was not accurate.

This is a reasonable critique, but one which lets the public off far too easily—something we in this country may be guilty of. Indeed, it is easier to blame Fox News for biased reporting rather than blaming the viewers for giving the network such high ratings. Similarly in our own fair land, ought we blame the newspaper columnists that incite incendiary talk-back discussion of ‘ferals’ or ‘race traitors’, or instead blame the readers who justify their column-inches? These are extremes, but part of the reason this style of reporting is so popular is that it has a very populist heart. It tells an easy to understand narrative which, while not necessarily consistent with anything else, is consistent with the overarching storyline the media is telling.

Moreover these narratives are often accepted

will be corrupted not by money or social approval, but by our own passions.”

While it is understandable that opinions around Labour MP Louisa Wall’s Definition of Marriage Amendment Bill are impassioned on both sides. It is less understandable for opinions to be strong on fellow Labour MP Jacinda Ardern’s Care of Children Law Reform Bill, which would force the Minister of Justice to introduce a bill drafted by the Law Commission without amendment within seven days, something which would raise numerous constitutional issues and would end up stalling the process for many years.

The bill is broken, but vocal support has already developed, presumably because much of the reporting on the bill fails to unpack the practical consequences of the bill. Instead the focus has been on the bill leading to greater debate of the subject (something a populist media is more than capable of facilitating), rather than the substance of the bill itself.

An opinion can be made out of this type of reporting, but unless it took into account the potential unintended consequence of slowing down adoption reform it would be a position not founded in understanding of what the bill actually does.

In Thinking Fast and Slow, Nobel prize-winning psychologist Dr Daniel Kahneman theorised that there are two “both fictitious and important” types of thought “...ought we processes that drive the way we blame the think. System One is fast, intuitive, newspaper emotional, and is more likely to make systematic errors; System columnists that Two is slower, more deliberative, incite incendiary and more logical. Lumping topics talk-back such as politics where an opinion is socially expected, but the strength discussion of of the opinion is less important ‘ferals’ or ‘race than consensus into System One is traitors’, or instinctive. However, while System One maps answers across many instead blame questions by finding answers which the readers who are consistent with each other, justify their it doesn’t answer the question as stated with any real complexity. column-inches?”

It is not easy or fun to hold a nuanced opinion not held by those around you, whether it is in the face of green-haired hipsters, or besuited right wing trolls, and the time required to gain a nuanced understanding is generally more time than it is worth. In his book The Myth of the Rational Voter Professor Bryan Caplan noted that “[h]uman beings have mixed cognitive motives… On many topics, one position is more comforting, flattering, or exciting, raising the danger that our judgement

So what can you do? Biases and intellectual blind spots can only be removed by self-reflection and serious engagement with counter intuitive ideas which challenge your preconceptions about the world you live in. Stop seeing politics as a lazy exercise in point-scoring, and start seeing it as an opportunity to become more intellectually well rounded. Don’t just read Stuff; read Marx, Bastiat, John Locke, Isaiah Berlin, Plato, Bertrand Russell.

Put down your Adam Curtis and his visual interpretations of a late night drunken Wikipedia binge with pretensions of coherence. Hear out the Marxists, Libertarians, Greens, Young Nats, Young Labour, Aotearoa Legalise Cannabis Party.

Develop and hone your critical and analytical thinking skills by considering as many sides of as many debates as humanly possible before deciding you will agree with whatever your friends or parents believe. You’re an adult now, time to start acting like it. ▲

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If you have a passion for learning, postgraduate study at Victoria University could be just what you need. A postgraduate programme will give you a valuable edge in life and help you become an expert in your field—whatever that may be.

30 Visit victoria.ac.nz/postgraduate or call 0800 VICTORIA. SR0204B

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TOP 10

tracks to incite the

REVOLUTION 1. TRACY CHAPMAN : TALKIN’ ABOUT A See Below.

REVOLUTION

2. SEX PISTOLS: ANARCHY IN THE U.K Well, obviously.

3. BIKINI KILL: REBEL GIRL Patriarchy, reap what you rape

4. RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE: KILLING IN

THE NAME OF Rally against capitalism and corporations; sign yourself to a subsidiary of the recording industries second largest conglomerate. $$$$

5. REFUSED: NEW NOISE

Socialism will tear you to shreds (and share what's leftover with you afterwards).

6. TITUS ANDRONICUS: A POT IN WHICH TO PISS

“Hear the man with the notepad say/ 'oh they're funny but they drink too much. Don't be surprised if they don't amount to nothing at all.'”

7. DJ SPRINKLES: MIDTOWN 120 BLUES (INTRO) “Racism, gender & sexual crises, unemployment, and censorship—all at 120 beats per minute.”

8. WHITE LUNG: ST. DAD. Pitchfork approved.

9. AGAINST ME!: OCEANS Fuck Gender Binary.

10. PUSSY RIOT: PUTIN LIGHTS UP THE FIRES Relevant.

GIRLS PISSING ON GIRLS PISSING E L I Z A B E T H B E AT T I E

Recently Girls Pissing on Girls Pissing played a Wellington house party casting their spell upon captivated listeners and delivering their mixture of sinister and dreamy sound resulting in an epic live show. Intrigued by this mysterious band, Salient decided to examine this enigmatic group a little closer…

Girls Pissing on Girls Pissing: the name alone is enough to inspire a reaction. Formed in Wellington by Casey James Atimer of the Sharpie Crows about seven or eight years ago, Girls Pissing on Girls Pissing (hereafter GPOGP) are an ever-evolving band who have been through many line-up changes, constantly developing their sound.

Casey’s unconventional approach to music is a reaction to musical conformity: while studying Casey came to the conclusion that he wanted to do something unique. “I felt that I was playing by the rules, becoming something that already existed and stylistically getting pushed to be very conventional, so at that point I just tuned my guitar to something ridiculous and started doing weirder things to kinda get away

from that... I think the worst thing people do is they really cast themselves in a genre or scene and totally conform to that. They just become replications of what already exists.”

All Casey’s art reflects the desire for something he views as very important: artistic freedom. Even the band title is a declaration of that wish: “The name was inspired by some pornographic material of the same nature, but it was quite amazing and beautiful and artistic in a way. I guess the name is quite shocking to people, but secondly it’s also the nature of people’s sexual freedom. I guess there’s a few other connotations with the name, like the idea of it being infinite, that it carries on and on.”

In some ways GPOGP are more an artistic project then a band, with Casey’s intentions being to include everyone’s different artistic outputs: “Tangiwai, me and (former bandmate) Alex put out a book of our artwork that was connected to the album and we did a small exhibition. I definitely connect a lot of my own artwork with the poetry, I guess I view it more

as poetry as opposed to lyrics in a sense.”

Due to be released around October, the next GPOGP album will be one to watch for. Casey describes the new album as: “ a little more coherent I guess, slightly more accessible, that’s not to say its pop or its going to have any bangaz. I just feel like everyone’s a bit more well connected. It’s a lot more spiritual I guess, each song relates to a certain card in the tarot, not that I’m going to be pushing that forward in a huge way or preaching to anybody, but there’s that aspect of it for people who want to take that. Personally I’m a lot more happy with how it'S sounding. I’ll just put it forward and see what happens with it, that’s all you can really do.”

Girls Pissing on Girls Pissing hint that there will be more live shows coming up with a hopeful Wellington show brewing. If you are yet to experience their mixture of art and sound, get your hands on an album—or better yet, pray for a live show.

You can listen to Girls Pissing On Girls Pissing’s album Tangiwai at girlspissingongirlspissing.bandcamp.com.

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review

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film

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TWO LITTLE BOYS



G E R A L D L E E ( F I L M E D I TO R )

Perhaps I’m just a cynical, curmudgeonly reviewer, but I generally dislike New Zealand’s feeble attempts at cinematic comedy. Robert Sarkies’s Two Little Boys, however, proves to be different. Expertly playing on provincial New Zealand clichés, it proves to be an accomplished comedic piece, featuring some excellent performances and backed up by Robert Sarkies’s strong direction.

Initially you might think that Two Little Boys is about a lifelong friendship between two Invercargill boys being torn asunder by the arrival of a new mate. However, after Nige (Bret Mackenzie) accidentally kills a Norwegian backpacker he turns to his best mate Deano (Hamish Blake) to help him dispose of the body and escape from justice.

Sarkies’s direction is superb, deftly balancing black humour with poignant emotional moments. The retro small-town setting he crafts is quintessentially New Zealand, but exaggerated for maximum comedic effect, right down to the hideous 1980s mullets.

Combined with a (usually) tight script and evocative cinematography, and Sarkies’s manages to imbue Two Little Boys with a palpable sense of comedic farce that’s most

captivating.

Coupled with the strong direction is some excellent acting. In their first leading film roles, Hamish Blake and Bret Mackenzie provide charming, charismatic performances.

Mackenzie’s childlike innocence invites sympathy from the audience, whilst Blake’s reckless abandon provides many of the thrills.

They play off each other superbly, creating an imitable duo whom you can’t help but love.

That’s not to say that Two Little Boys doesn’t suffer from a few flaws. Occasionally the smalltown humour feels slightly crass and Nige’s melodramatic panic attacks start to grate by the final act. However, these occasional failures can’t overrule the unique experience that the film creates. For every juvenile antic there are a myriad of moments of brilliantly executed black comedy, such as fumbling to shove the troublesome body into a drainpipe.

Two Little Boys may not be the most daring New Zealand comedy, but it certainly is one of the most accomplished. It cements Robert Sarkies’s place as one of the most dynamic filmmakers New Zealand possesses, and provides a rollicking good ride whilst doing so.

I W ISH     ERIKA WEBB

Japanese bullet trains are capable of speeds up to 300km/h. Sometimes, when two of these trains pass each other in opposite directions, enough energy is released to create a temporary wishing well in their wake.

I Wish follows Koichi and Ryunosuke, two young brothers, who upon hearing this rumour embark upon a haphazard adventure to the railway tracks. Their parents’ divorce has lead younger Ryunosuke to live in northern Kyushu with their languid guitarplaying father while slightly older Koichi lives much further south with his mother’s family.

Missing each other terribly and afraid of being forgotten, the two boys plot to reunite their parents by wishing on the trains.

Director Hirokazu Kore-eda illuminates childhood in Japan without becoming cloying, nostalgic or horribly cute, making this a film about the interactions of children and the mysterious adult world that is

exceedingly emotionally intelligent. Although it is fundamentally a ‘growing up’ story, Kore-eda tells this subtly as the chaotic and idealistic realm of the younger characters is skilfully interwoven with the adult world of compromises and pragmatism.

The film’s insight into childlike logic is earnest and impressive, to the extent that we regret possessing the cynical knowledge that many of their dreams are impossible to achieve.

However, much of their meandering and speculating we can still relate to, especially Koichi’s question ‘why did they build our school on top of a hill? I don’t get it.’

The talent of the young cast is captivating, helped by the distinctive cinematography.

Stray movements are often caught within the lens of the camera, which then follows them like the eyes of a child. The attention to small details makes I Wish endlessly curious and engaging.

THE RATINGS

Has all the depth of Jaime Ridge.

It’s almost as good as a candlelight dinner with George Clooney.

Above average, much like Lana Del Rey.

Has all the depth of Sally Ridge.

A lifelong friendship with Stephen Fry couldn’t compare to this.

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review

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visual arts

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A SELF-INTRODUCTION T O D D AT T I C U S

Over the past three weeks you will have noticed this Canvas on Campus column gracing your visual arts page. Todd Atticus and I will be taking turns to decode a series of works from Victoria University’s significant collection of New Zealand art.

A little about the collection: it began in 1948 with a modest purchase by the Staff Club, and has since grown to over 300 works. The majority of these are hung around campus for staff and students to appreciate, ranging from small drawings framed in the library to Neil Dawson’s formidable steel sculpture hanging above the Hunter Courtyard.

The Adam Art Gallery administers the collection alongside the regular schedule of exhibitions, and will be exhibiting some recent acquisitions next year.

Fun fact: the big wall immediately to your right as you enter the gallery was designed with Colin McCahon’s Gate III in mind. You can now find this painting presiding over the foyer in Rutherford House.

ON FIRST LOOKING INTO .

CHAPMAN S HOMER TO D D AT T I C U S

Michael Parekowhai, Jim Allen and Colin McCahon at Te Papa

What can a piano, the atomic bomb and inflatable plastic tubing tell us about human wonder? A newly-installed arrangement of work by three New Zealand artists at Te Papa subtly urges this theme. The curators have found their lead from Michael Parekowhai’s immersive installation 'On First Looking into Chapman’s Homer'—this show’s centrepiece and the pride of New Zealand’s offering at last year’s Venice Biennale (the art world equivalent to the Cannes Film Festival).

For anyone heading to Te Papa for an immersive experience, there is rarely cause to ascend the museum’s fifth floor. Te Papa’s lofty white-walled gallery rooms can seem nullifying and sterile when considered against the whizzes, pops, and bangs of its lower floors’ brazen interactivity. As of last week, this has ceased to be the case.

The effect is immediate. A timely visit will find Michael Parekowhai’s artwork, 'He Korero Purakau mo Te Awanui o Te Motu: story of a New Zealand river', reaching your ears long before you set eyes upon it. As visitors approach the gallery space the stately melodies of a piano float toward them. Parekowhai’s artwork is an adapted Steinway concert grand

piano—his sixth artwork to feature one—and is available to be played by anyone who would like to book a session on the instrument.

There are three of Parekowhai’s concert piano pieces being exhibited in total. Each one cuts a sizeable impression in their own right but in combination they are truly stunning. Flanking the playable 'He Korero Purakau' are two black concert grands: 'Chapman’s Homer' and 'A Peak in Darien.' These two pianos— identical in appearance—each play host to a life-size bronze sculpture of an adult bull, both finished in the same matte black covering of the pianos they perch upon. Atop one, the bull lies lazily across the lid; on the other the bull is stood, head bowed towards the instrument’s keys, poised to challenge a fearless pianist to a staring contest.

Nestled between these brothers is 'He Korero Purakau' itself, the crown jewel. As if to further enhance this demonstrably impeccable instrument, the artist has adorned its entire bodywork—and stool—with a cladding of ivory and ebony. This façade is intricately carved with traditional Maori patterning and pristinely coated in a thick red lacquer. It is a wonder to observe and by the looks of the musicians’ faces, a joy to play.

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The three pianos stand grandly in their own wing of a long chamber. It is a brave arrangement that houses at the other end some late-career McCahons and Jim Allen’s recently acquired Small Worlds. The sparseness of the hang permits the piano’s notes to ring with clarity throughout the entire chamber. Reconfiguring the viewing experience with the introduction of music radically transforms and intensifies the impact of McCahon’s paintings and Allen’s installation.

Parekowhai’s selection motions towards an old English poem by John Keats: an account of the sensual pleasure of art. This contextual allusion confers a means to understanding the whole dynamic of the piece. The poem’s closing stanza references the 16th century Spanish conquistador Hernán Cortés who, after sailing to South America, looks out at the Pacific and ponders its unknown treasures.

The works of these three artists have been selected to advance upon this gesture. Here are monuments to the power of artwork in broadening our enquiry of the world around us. Through the sensual experience of viewing, we better open ourselves up to the wonder of living.

Te Papa, Level 5, 25th August—23rd September.

Free entry, performances daily.

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theatre

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CLYBOURNE PARK J O N A T H A N P R I C E ( T H E AT R E E D I T O R )

By Bruce Norris, directed by Ross Jolly

Clybourne Park is a play of two halves which enacts a game of verbal dodge-ball around the issue of racism in America. Part one takes place in 1959, where the white middle-class sits comfortably in the protective ideology of “separate-but-equal”, and Jim Crow laws provide the basis for self-aggrandising, institutionalised discrimination.

Part two jumps forward fifty years to an enlightened, post-civil-rights-movement 2009. The arena for both acts is a house in Clybourne Road, Chicago. In part one the property has just been sold by the resident nuclear family, and in part two has just been bought by a nuclear family-tobe. In the intervening time the estate (and neighbourhood) has been occupied by black Americans, and the value of the property has diminished (the play, not me, makes the link here, though the issue is complicated and treated from multiple perspectives). Seven actors play fourteen characters, one for each act, with the exception of Paul Waggot, who plays three. As such, the production is bolstered by a significant metafiction: the same actors repeat lines that were heard in the previous act, though from different characters, highlighting the changes or similarities in prejudices. Essentially when it comes to racism, says Clybourne Park, a lot has changed and not much has changed.

There is a lot of fun to be had here. The star of the first act is Gavin Rutherford as Russ, father to a dead son, who hides his depression under a thick layer of grump which grates the

other characters and delights the audience.

Russ is a pressure cooker bound to blow, and gets a snigger from the eagerly waiting audience every time he walks on stage—a testament to Rutherford’s characterisation and timing. The stakes increase as the stage becomes populated with more characters, each representing a certain brand of prejudice, from blatant racism to patronising orientalism.

The tension is pushed into the red with the arrival of Karl (Andrew Foster), a member of the Rotary club, who has taken issue with the colour of the property’s buyers.

The production’s achievement here is that no character is pure, but all are likeable (or, at least, we enjoy laughing at them). While Russ is no saint, we trust that his own, selfish motivations will push the conflict to land on the “right” side of the moral spectrum, and so we applaud his apolitical, disinterested rampage. Of course, in the aftermath you are left to wonder at how the production got you so-on side with such moral ambiguity.

There were times, though, that I was laughing at what I knew the comedy was supposed to be, rather than what it actually was. The act one climax doesn’t quite deliver on its promise, perhaps because some of the acting appears pre-packaged, which could be a symptom of either over- or under-rehearsal. But it’s early days yet, and we can hope that the actors will get more playful as they become more familiar with the material.The second act proves more successful, performance-wise, this time with Andrew Foster in the role of time-bomb as everyman Steve, purchaser of the house with

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wife Lindsey (Danielle Mason). Here, racism is shown to be alive and well, though masked by layer upon layer of politically sanctioned terminology, politeness, and neutralising periphrases. The joy here is that the dialogue—painfully stilted by naïve attempts at political correctness—is so agonisingly familiar.

Again, Steve is no saint, but we urge him to drive the tension to snapping point by telling that joke, by labelling the thing that no one dares say, by risking his honour and expressing the thing that everyone’s thinking. For this reviewer (who hails from Christchurch) the verisimilitude was uncanny. In the first act we are lulled into a false sense of security; we can point our finger and laugh at characters from which we are separated by fifty years of enlightened thinking. Then the tables turn, and the play points the finger at us, with good humour, but with striking accuracy.

As social satire, Clybourne Park operates flawlessly. But the presence of a tragic backstory—that of Russ’ son—alluded to throughout the play and capitalised on at the end, suggests that it is striving for something more. It adds variety and shade to what would otherwise be a straight-forward satire, but I failed to connect fully with it. For me, it muddies the waters, and points to a deeper message that isn’t really there. The critics on the continent(s) have certainly viewed it as having something more, but where they see “Best Play” I see “good comedy”. At its heart, Clybourne Park is a traditional comedy of manners, exceptionally well-constructed and commendably performed.

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books

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THE WOMAN W HO DIVED INTO THE HEART OF THE WORLD K U R T B A R B E R ( B O O K S E D I TO R )

Novel by Sabina Berman

Occasionally, I am very surprised by a book.

Mexican playwright Sabina Berman’s first novel The Woman Who Dived into the Heart of the World looks like the sort of novel I usually hate, largely due to its blurb, which does everything in its power to make the book sound awful. Every cliché imaginable is represented: “and then begins the greatest journey of all, as Karen learns how to become ‘Me’…”, “It is a voyage of discovery that will take her to the bottom of the ocean, and into the heart of the world”.

So my expectations upon picking up the novel were not high. And I was therefore very surprised when I was unable to put it down.

The story is told in the first person from the perspective of an autistic girl named Karen, and stylistically it’s brilliant; written in the simplistic and literal-minded manner a little reminiscent of a grown-up version of the protagonist from The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. The book distances you from its action—numbers are always written out as symbols rather than words, for example, and paragraphs and sentences often begin with a numerical value: “1 day”. Smiley faces, accompanied by a description of the person’s expression (“…but then he put on a Friendly Face ☺”) are inserted to represent the effort it takes Karen to understand the expressions of those around her. Little touches like these make the reader feel like

we are seeing the world as Karen does.

Rather than focusing solely on the relationship between Karen and her aunt Isabelle (which is what the blurb implies), Berman expands her narrative over the entirety of Karen’s life, so that we see her life and struggles to fit into the world played out in more spheres than merely the domestic. Throughout the course of the story Karen becomes involved in bringing her aunt’s tuna company into the Japanese market, which is the section of the book I enjoyed most, adding a cultural barrier to the communicative difficulties Karen must already deal with.

It’s a wonderful novel, and well worth a read.

UNHOLY NIGHT K AT E B R O M L E Y

Novel by Seth Grahame-Smith

“Thank God. Or whatever.”

The story of the birth of Jesus is dangerous ground to be treading upon, yet GrahameSmith deftly weaves a story around this biblical tale by focusing less on the birth and more on what happened next.

He takes this gap in the famous story and widens it, at times a stretch too far for my liking, to create a gritty adventure focused on the humanity of its characters. With or without the son of God, the world that Grahame-Smith portrays is cruel and real, it is surrounded by desert, occupied by Roman soldiers and ruled by a diseased and insane king. By no means are the events of these times sugar-coated and the brutality and horror that surround the birth of Jesus, including the slaughter of baby boys, is not avoided but dragged into the spotlight.

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The protagonist Balthazar, aka the Antioch Ghost, is a master thief with revenge in his heart and a refreshing dose of cynicism when it comes to the Immaculate Conception. He and two other petty criminals make up the elusive three wise men, fugitives of the law roped into helping Mary and Joseph avoid having their newborn murdered.

The writing may not be mind-blowing, but the story is captivating. It’s a good, easy read, and as a person who respects religion while not personally being religious, I felt that GrahameSmith did well to balance a purely fictional story with biblical imagery. Some of the novel may invoke eye-rolling on my part (the dead rising were a little much) but aside from these occasions I did enjoy the book. I would recommend it to those who enjoy historical novels, or good, old-fashioned adventure stories.

v u w s a & Frien d s

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS BRIDIE HOOD

A massive, massive thank you to everyone who came to the Special General Meeting last week. I don’t think there have been that many people at a VUWSA General Meeting in a very long time!

For those of you who couldn’t attend, we successfully passed the recommendations of the Governance Review Final Report and the meeting voted in favour of VUWSA supporting Louisa Wall’s Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Bill.

The pizza was demolished within minutes of the meeting finishing and it was just a generally great day!

Although John Key may believe interest free student loans are the only thing that is going to get students out of bed before 7pm to vote, last Wednesday really showed me how engaged, eloquent and passionate the student voice is here at Victoria.

Human Security, because that paper is amazing!

Through my time at VUWSA I’ve been able to meet and work alongside some amazing people. Not just the other Executive members, but VUWSA and VUW staff, Class Reps, Faculty Delegates, Rep Groups and other students.

On a personal level, working for students on a daily basis has been incredibly rewarding.

Knowing that the work you do every day, the changes you advocate for and the decisions you make positively impact students, and make their life a bit easier, is fantastic.

Nothing beats the satisfaction of getting wins for students in University policy changes and development. Our voices do matter.

So why should you run for VUWSA?

But the excitement didn’t end at the SGM last week. We opened nominations for the VUWSA General Election the following morning. Even better: by the end of the day a few nominations were already handed in!

Firstly, because University life is far more than just studying. By getting involved in something like VUWSA, you will help to make sure your time at Victoria is unforgettable.

So, this week my president's column is going to be all about why YOU should run for the VUWSA Executive. I first ran for VUWSA at the end of 2009, to be on the 2010 Executive. I didn’t really know a huge amount about VUWSA, but I knew I wanted to get more involved on campus. Having moved from Hamilton I thought this would be a great opportunity to meet new people and push me out of my comfort zone. I ran for Campaigns Officer and had my first experience of beating No Confidence.

Secondly, because VUWSA is a great place to be if you care about your University and students at Victoria, and it’s a chance for you to make a big difference.

However, within a few months I was coopted into the position of Academic Vice President (then Education Vice President).

Before I even got to terms with the role of Campaigns Officer, I was all of a sudden a Vice President! I won a by-election for the position in mid-2010 and ran again for AVP in 2011. And now I’m sitting in the President’s Office.

Looking back over my time as a student at Vic being involved in VUWSA was the second-best decision I ever made. Second only to my decision to enrol in INTP371—

Thirdly, because VUWSA is changing and it needs good people to make sure the change works. The Governance Review will see the Executive radically restructured, which makes 2013 an exciting time to be an Executive member, operating under a brand new structure.

VUWSA was established because it is only students who can ensure that Victoria is providing the education, experience, community and facilities that students want and need. We have been proudly supporting students at Victoria for over 113 years.

VUWSA is here for all of you and every day we work to make sure your students experience is the best it can be.

Nominations close this Friday. You can pick up your form from the VUWSA Kelburn Office in the Student Union Building.

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TE MANU E KAI ANA I TE MĀTAURANGA J OA N N A M O R G A N

I te āhua o te whakataukī he whakahirahira te mātauranga. Kei konei tātou ki te whai mātauranga hei whāngai i te whānau, hei whāngai i te hapū te marae me te iwi. I ngā teihana Pākehā o ngā reo irirangi, niupepa, pouaka whakaata hoki, kua waihangatia tētahi āhua pōuri o te iwi Māori. E ai ki ngā kōrero o te ao hauora me te ao mātauranga, e mate ana te Māori i te pōharatanga. He nui ngā kōrero e pā ana ki tēnei kaupapa. Hei tā ētahi, kua mate te Māori i te koretaketanga o te Kāwanatanga. Hei tā ētahi atu, nā te Māori kē ia anō i whakararu. E kī e kī, ki te whakapono tātou ki te whakaaro o muri mai kāore e kore ka hinga te iwi. Kua pahure ngā tau kotahi rau whitu tekau mā rua i tāngia te Tiriti o Waitangi engari e whawhai tonu ana tātou kia tū motuhake ngā marae o Aotearoa.

Ko te āhua nei, ko Wikitōria hoki tērā e kore e whakamana i te Tiriti. Kua whakarōpūngia te Māori ki iwi kē o te moana-nui-ā-kiwa hei rōpū e noho hauā i ngā āhuatanga o te hapori. Ka hono te Māori ki aua iwi engari i te whakaaro o te Tiriti ko te Māori te tangata whenua o tēnei motu.

Ka huri ki te tino aronga o tēnei kōrero. Nei tāku, me pēhea tātou ki te whakanui i te whare wānanga nei mehemea kāore te whare wānanga e whakanui i te mana o te Māori?

Me pēhea te karanga atu ki ngā whānau kia haere mai ki konei ako ai mehemea kāore te whare wānanga e whai wā ki te whāngai i a rātou? E rua ngā tino raru o te wā.

I te tuatahi, I tēnei Mane ka hui te kaunihera o te whare wānanga nei, wānanga ai ngā moni rēhita o ngā pepa ako. E ai ki te tumuaki tuarua kāore e kore ka nui ake te utu. Ka pēhea ngā whānau ki te kai i te mātauranga mehemea e kore e taea te whai pūtea? I te tuarua, mā rātou e whai wā ki te haere mai, ka aha a Wikitōria ki te whāngai i a rātou mehemea kāore te whare wānanga e whakanui i te Tiriti?

Kua whai hua ahau i ngā tari Māori me Te Herenga Waka engari ka tū mō ake tonu ēnei pou ki te kore te Tiriti e whai mana? E aua hoki.

v u w s a & Frien d s

WOMEN’S OFFICER SARA BISHOP

This week VUWSA celebrates its annual Women’s Week, a week designed to draw attention to women’s issues on campus and in the wider Wellington and New Zealand communities as well as celebrate the accomplishments that women have made.

We are kicking off the week with an open lecture in SU218 at 11:30 from Dr. Anne Galloway from the School of Design about the representations of sanitary hygiene in advertising. Whether it’s women running along a beach in bright white shorts or watching their boyfriends play robot, these ads are always a mix of disheartening and hilarious and it makes you wonder why this is such a tough subject to put on television. Following that on Monday night the ladies from Victoria’s own Debating Society are going to be hashing out one of the most divisive topics in the history of feminism: pornography. Is it an affront to women? Is there something inherently sexist about graphic portrayals of sex? Come along to the memorial Theatre Foyer, 6pm Monday to find out!

On Tuesday we’re delving into the political with a speaker from New Zealand’s Public Service Association discussing the fact that women continue to earn only four fifths that of men in 2012. Topics covered will include what legislative and cultural changes need to occur as well as plenty of tips for women soon to be hitting the job market and those scary interviews. Afterwards, a speaker from Positive Women will be talking about women living with HIV, how it can be prevented and what you can do to help. Both events are in SU218 at 12 and 2:30 respectively.

Suffrage Day on Wednesday 19th brings more politics with a visit from Holly Walker at 4pm. She’ll be discussing what it’s like to be a young woman in Parliament, what barriers still exist for female politicians as well as the amazing advances that have been made. If you’re feeling like socialising come along a bit early because from 3pm we’ll be celebrating Suffrage Day with a old-style tea party in SU218.

Thursday brings a health theme and we’ll be starting at 1pm in SU218 with a nutrition talk provided by Student Health. All topics relevant to women’s nutrition while studying will be covered included dieting, iron and anaemia and maintaining healthy energy levels. At 2 we’ll be heading over to the Rec Centre for a free yoga class, you don’t need to be a gym member to attend, just show up in some comfy clothes!

Lastly on Friday, we have Catherine Healy from the New Zealand Prostitute’s Collective talking about the rights of sex workers in New Zealand. This will be a great opportunity to debunk some of the myths around this often poorly represented industry. 2pm in Meeting Room 2. I hope to see all your beautiful faces there, it’s going to be an amazing week!

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v u w s a & Frien d s

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INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE & QUEERDOM: HOW NOT TO OFFEND PEOPLE

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Last week VUWSA members voted at the shockingly well-attended SGM for the student union to officially support marriage equality. Why is this important? Because the legal discrimination against queer people, and queer students, is an issue for all. VUWSA is now empowered to campaign for equality on this issue by supporting the bill. Thank you to everyone who voted in favour! It means a lot.

Inclusivity in language is important. It’s important because unless you actually pay attention to the language you’re using, it can be very easy to exclude or discriminate against groups of people. That’s why we’re campaigning for marriage equality, rather than same-sex marriage or gay marriage.

Maybe people who identify as genderqueer, or intersex, or bisexual, or pansexual, or trans*, or agender, or homoflexible or any other identity that doesn’t fit into the sexual absolutes society currently uses, want to get

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married too.

Sexuality and gender identity form a rich and complex landscape. Things are rarely as simple as they seem. Sexuality can be fluid without being a choice, and there is a pressure implicit in the language we use that says it is important to find a sexual identity and stick with it.

It’s not for other people to decide someone’s sexual or gender identity. It’s an immensely personal thing, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a secret thing. It’s experiences that define a person, and being comfortable enough with yourself to try new things is important. Try not to assume someone’s sexuality based on the way they look or act. It’s their discovery to make. Try not to use gendered language and especially not gendered insults. Calling someone of any gender a bitch is sexist and belittling. Using ‘gay’ as a derogatory term is harmful. If someone identifies as non-heterosexual, queer is an increasingly accepted umbrella term and one that UniQ encourages.

There is a double standard in society where if a girl who ‘seems’ straight kisses another girl then that’s hot, but she’s still well up for it. If a guy who ‘seems’ straight, however, kisses another guy, then he’s gay. No question. Aside from the double standard, it’s wrong that absolutes seem to be the only two options. What if the girl grew up under pressure to appear as heterosexual as possible, but is only just beginning to explore her sexuality properly and will eventually identify as a lesbian? What if the guy identifies

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as heteroflexible and is comfortable with exploring his sexuality? What if one of them is trans* and hasn’t come out yet?

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TAKING NOTE OF LIFE & EVERYDAY EMOTIONS CHRIS MALCOLM—COUNSELLING SERVICE STUDENT INTERN

At this time of the year life can feel overwhelming. The holidays are over and the work seems to be stacking up with assignments all due in the next few weeks, and on top of all your study you may have many other commitments.

At times like this it can sometimes seem like everything that you do is an obligation to someone else—your lecturers expect that work will be handed in on time, your work expects that you will do the hours you agreed to, your family may expect you to visit regularly, or you may be expected to do certain jobs around your flat. You may even find that the obligation is coming from yourself, from standards and expectations that

you have set for yourself.

Sometimes in the midst of life it is easy to lose a sense of ourselves as we become moulded by the expectations surrounding us. Feelings may become overwhelming and confused, or alternatively everything may seem grey as you automatically do the things required.

There are a couple of steps that some students have found useful. The first one is to become aware and accepting of the emotions that we are feeling in the moment. This doesn’t have to be in the moments when we are at our most emotional but can be in the small things also. For example noticing the annoyance when the wind blows your hair 38

around, or the frustration of missing the bus, or the sadness of seeing someone mistreated.

The second step is to linger a little longer on little things in life you like. It might be that in your normal daily routine you discover that you feel invigorated by the daily walk home, that you find a sense of peace when you are able to eat your lunch alone or that you find acceptance in chat with certain people prior to class.

These small examples of emotion are all things that help us understand what makes us tick. Taking notice of them is one good way of keeping in one piece over the busy parts of the year.

ROXY

Hiya Roxy. I’m a third year law student who currently lives in a flat with my two best friends.

We do everything together and are super close. The problem is that they have suddenly announced that they are dating. They’ve both just left relationships and I guess I could see it coming, but it’s totally freaking me out. I’ve heard horror stories about flatmates dating, and I think it’s going to be really awkward for me being the flat’s third wheel. Do you think I should make one of them move out? The other option is that I could move out, I guess, although I really like living here. Do you think I am overreacting?

knit group of friends to handle it when some of those friends get together: it changes the dynamic of the group, and it can feel like the third-wheel is suddenly less important. Don’t let your grumpiness over this (imagined) slight become the issue that actually destroys the friendship. It’s easy to overact to everything the couple does, and blame their relationship for every problem the flat has and if you create a situation where they’ve got to choose between their relationship and you, you’re going to have a Bad Time. <3 Roxy

Yo Rox-yizzle. My flatmate has recently got a Yes, you are totally overreacting. While new girlfriend. She seems nice enough, although everyone has heard stories of flatmates we really don’t talk that forming relationships and “...you won’t have anything much, but she’s becoming then going rogue, Roxy is firmly of the opinion that to worr y about except for the a bit of an issue for the flat. this is just because no one occasional awkward PDA, She’s always around, like always, and she’s starting talks about the flatmate and loud angr y post-fight to take the place over a relationships that are sex. Chill out.” bit. Our flat’s not very big, normal and un-crazy (i.e, so a fourth person kinda boring). In all likelihood the gets in the way, and we don’t like having to pay world will keep on turning, and you won’t for the hot water and stuff she uses. She’s also have anything to worry about except for the a bit of a nana, and goes to bed at like 10pm occasional awkward PDA, and loud angry which means we can’t be rowdy or anything at post-fight sex. Chill out. night which sucks. We really like the flatmate, Roxy also suspects that a lot of what is and don’t really want him to leave, but I think it’s happening here is plain ol’ jealousy. It’s often becoming a major issue. What should we do? difficult for people who have a really tight

Send your questions for Roxy to

♥

Roxy totally understands where you’re coming from here. A big part of successful flatting is having a good fit with your flatmates, and it can get really awkward when someone essentially moves in unilaterally, particularly in a small flat. This is a case where communication is key. You need to voice your concerns and see how your flatmate handles it. If there’s no recognition of your issues, then it is probably time to start looking for a new flatmate.

People who bring in their boyfriends or girlfriends into flats would also do well to remember to be courteous about it.

It’s awkward for flatmates to ask for a contribution to the rent to cover the costs of the hanger-on, which means unless you offer it up resentment is just going to build and build.

You also really need to put some thought into what they want. They signed on to living with you, but didn’t sign on to sharing their personal space with your partner. You owe it to them to find out what they think, because if they don’t like it you really only have two options: move her out or find a new flat that doesn’t mind. Otherwise things are just going to get more and more uncomfortable, then they will explode, and then you will have a Bad Time. <3 Roxy.

ROXYHEART@SALIENT.ORG.NZ

♥

If you have issues or concerns that you wish to discuss privately & confidentially with a professional, rather than a magazine columnist, Student Counselling Service can provide a safe place to explore such aspects of your life. The service is free & confidential. P: 04 463 5310 E: counselling-service@vuw.ac.nz. Visit Mauri Ora, Level 1, Student Union Building.

39

E AT Y O U R F U C K I N G GREENS

PHOEBE MORRIS

THINGS

YOU ALREADY KNOW BUT JUST NEED

TO BE TOLD OF ASPIRATION U T H E R D E A N ( C H I E F S AG E )

SHARON LAM // CASABLANCA

"SALTY!"

I have been thinking a lot recently about how success in any field is half luck and half being ready for when that luck appears. I have been thinking a lot about how unprepared, how not ready I feel. I have been thinking a lot about all the bits of the luck, all the opportunities that have passed me by or I have squandered because of not being ready. I have been thinking a lot about how much I beat myself up over these things.

Yes, I am not ready, but I need to remember that no one, really, is ever ready. Not properly one hundred per cent ready. I need to remember that I am more ready than I was last year or last month or yesterday or this morning. I need to remember to practice and practice and practice. Practice everything. I need to remember to get excited and make things.

But. I have been also thinking a lot about how vague the line between keeping my dreams on life-support and aspirational necrophilia is.

When does it become pathetic? When does it become ridiculous? Will people tell me when I’m just making a fool out of myself by chasing my dreams?

If I can be sure of anything when it comes to people’s goals and desires it is that not everyone is going to achieve theirs. No one wants to admit their chances of failure. After all that is the first step towards it. Failure, that is. To dream is to reject doubt, but where are its limits?

I judge, so much, the people I see still pushing way too hard against the walls of their abilities when the writing has been up there for so long. Don’t they realise what dicks they look like? Don’t they realise they’re a bit of a joke?

How will I know when I become one of those sad people, empty shells in a full-up world, still 40

waiting in the empty car park of maybe for vocation to finally turn up and give me the lift home that it promised?

There is something honourable in never giving up. There is something terribly sad in never giving up.

Really all I want to believe that someone would tell me. That I would be informed when I’m at that nadir. However, no one seems to tell all those other people.

I know the answer to all of this is to not care.

To, shudder, just do it. That is, I know, what’s best for me in the long run. Except that what’s best for me and what is best for the most people often do not align. I do not want to be a block in the path for other people, gathering mould and making other’s work harder.

But. Aspirations have that tricky habit of changing as soon as they come true. Nothing is ever good enough. It’s ridiculous that we have a word for feeling ‘accomplished’ because I have never met someone who has actually experienced it.

I keep thinking about the difference between having dreams and being a dreamer. I will only become the rock in other people’s path, the joked upon dreamer if I stop moving and start aspiring. To want is one thing, to get is another.

I have been thinking a lot recently about how to just keep moving.

Someone needs to tell me to stop trying to be ready. Someone needs to explain to me that there are always more chances and life is for living. Not just barrelling through with a To Do list of hopeful occurrences, crossing them out as each opportunity passes until all you are left with is an empty but not complete list and nothing but a shapeless dream to chase.

S TA RING AT ESTERE R O S E B U R R O W E S & M AT T W H I T E

This week we spoke to singer-song writer Estere Dalton, staunch advocate of the chai latte and possessor of much talent.

How and when did you get into playing instruments, and later producing your own beats?

I was really young but I never stuck to things.

I started with the harp when I was five and then at eleven began playing the drums and fell in love. I did a solo act with guitar, bass and drums in Rock Quest and came second in Wellington, then won the NZ Women’s Musicianship Award. With that money I was able to do recordings and make a layered sound for the first time.

Who are your favourite kiwi artists?

I like Electric Wire Hustle and love Lawrence Arabia’s new album.

You opened for Sola Rosa at their show in Wellington a couple of weeks ago – how was that?

Quite nerve-wracking with an audience I didn’t know. Usually I have a lot of friends in the crowd but this was a different mix of people. It was good to test the waters and

they reacted really well.

Favourite venue?

Home turf would have to be Bodega because I’m there all the time, but I enjoy playing all over the place - San Fran, Mighty, Matterhorn.

Your song Culture Clash is an intimate expression of your heritage - tell us a bit about your folks.

My mum and dad are from different cultures and parts of the world. I’ve grown up with two influences outside my immediate environment which has given me a different perspective and range of view for understanding things. My mum is a New Zealander and my dad grew up in France and Cameroon, so I speak French and Deutsch from when I did an exchange to Germany.

Who are your biggest inspirations, and what are your goals for your music?

My mum and my grandma, not musically but for the way that they approach life. They are very driven and well-rounded people so they are fantastic role models for me. I take confidence from them. I have so many musical inspirations but I really value originality

in music. I started four months ago with my MPC Lola, and got so many gigs with such little material, so my short-term goal is to produce a good-length set list. I also want to make music that’s accessible to everyone.

Along with your solo effort, you’re a part of soul group; BrocaFlowerSaurus. What’s the chemistry within the group? Creative compromise or creative explosion?

It’s a mixture of both. No one can get their own way all the time, it’s about coming together and making, It’s about layering each other’s ideas and learning from one another.

Thoughts on Kimbra?

She has something special about her, she’s musically capable and so driven although I’m not really a fan of the music. Too poppy and one-dimensional for me. Crazy and baby don’t actually rhyme.

I think that’s all our questions, oh wait, did you hear Morgan Freeman is dead?? What?!

(Matt easily fooled by internet hoax)

ON THE ORIGINAL POSITION; NOT THE MISSIONARY. U D AY A N M U K H E R J E E

Politics is a messy business. Hackery, scandal and irrelevancies tend to dominate the headlines while the tricky and detailed discussion about policy often shrinks into the background. A simple reason explains much of this: the vested interests that all individuals bring to the process. As a result gridlock tend to be the order of the day and so it is difficult to be enthused by the grinding mediocrity that constitutes everyday political debate. If this embittered view has any truth about the social issues of the moment, then it would probably be even more true about the way in which society considers basic questions of political justice. Sloganeering tends to trump sober discussion, much to the chagrin of those with a desire for something more.

Ever since the pioneering work of John Rawls, philosophers have tried to abstract away from this mess. He asks us to imagine that society comes together to discuss really basic question of how it should be structured. This is called the original position, a setting in which the contours of the social contract are to be agreed upon. The special feature of this is that the participants are behind what Rawls dubs the ‘veil of ignorance’, a special kind of cloaking device which prevents them from knowing facts about their station in society.

The idea is that you should have all potential biases stripped away, so things like your gender, income, race, talents, and background won’t influence your take on what society looks like. Behind this veil, Rawls reckons that 41

the agreement that these quasi-citizens reach would truly be fair, and their conclusions should be the basis of our real-life theories of justice.

Though this sounds all very pure and enlightening, but the central problem is whether you trust these veiled figments of our imagination. If we are supposed to strip away all the specifics of our personality, then the risk is that our that our conclusions will just avoid the specific problems that need to be confronted. The original position might sound like a philosopher’s fantasy, but perhaps the only way to deliver real political conclusions is to get down and dirty in the real world.

Lovin' From

The Oven TIRAMISU H AY L E Y A D A M S

I swear anything that contains both liquor and caffeine is sure to be a winner! 

What you need



2 eggs—separated 3 tbsp caster sugar 1 cup of cream—whipped 250g mascarpone cheese at room temperature 3 tbsp. of some kind of tasty liqueur (I used Frangelico, but would also recommend Tia Mariah, brandy, rum or amaretto) 1 packet of ladyfingers (an Italian biscuit which when soaked turns into sponge—you can find them in most supermarkets, I got mine from Moore Wilson’s)

IS IT SEXIST TO HATE WOMEN’S SPORTS? STEPHEN GILLAM

My answer is no.

But before I get beaten down for allegedly trying to plant a bigot tree, let me defend myself.

Women’s sport is an inferior species, but there are good reasons for that. Some can be remedied, some can’t.

First, men and women are fundamentally different. Most people will concede this, and the reality is that men tend to be better geared towards sport.

Consider the extra testosterone that men produce, and how it translates to added competitiveness on the field/court/pool/ whatever they use in Quidditch. Also factor in the higher proportion of muscle that men have put those differences into an arena in the same way.

This isn’t to say that all men are better at sports than all women, but that a man at his peak will always get selected over a woman at hers. Always.

Carry out a simple thought experiment. Pit the All Blacks’ scrum against the Black Ferns’. Who wins that battle?

Once you’re done with imagining our rugby ladies getting mauled, look at the shoulders on Dwight Howard and come back to me when you find his female equivalent. Then find a woman as quick as Usain Bolt or with the talent of Dan Carter or Israel Dagg.

Second, men’s sport generates far more interest than women’s, drawing bigger crowds and higher ratings on TV. The result is more money being siphoned into the male product.

Among other things, this means more money goes towards player development and the viability of a career for the athletes.

Men get better coaching because the market demands it. Many of our female athletes are amateur so they have to find other jobs to stay afloat, limiting their ability to get better at their sport.

Finally, men’s sports are more competitive to enter. Pliny the Elder once said that competition breeds excellence. While I made that up, he wouldn’t have been wrong if he did say it.

With more boys growing up interested in sports than girls, players that make it big are better because they have to be.

3 cups of brewed coffee, cooled— I used a plunger 1 small bar of dark chocolate



What to do

…

Beat egg yolks and caster sugar with an electric mixer until pale and thick. Add the mascarpone to the egg yolk mixture and mix to combine. Fold the whipped cream into the egg yolk mixture and set aside. Beat the egg whites to stiff peaks and then fold carefully into the cream mixture, trying to keep as much air in as possible. Add the liqueur to the cooled coffee. Submerge each ladyfinger in the coffee mixture before laying the bottom of your dish with them, alternate layers of soaked biscuits and cream mixture. Finish with a cream layer and top with grated chocolate. Let cool in the fridge for a couple of hours. Serve cold.

POLITICAL

analysis of the

WEEK

FEEL INSIDE (AND STUFF LIKE THAT) CARLA SALIZZO

The recently released charity single spearheaded by Flight of the Conchords has been a chart-topper, winning the hearts of music lovers all over the country. But did you realise it actually contains a solid political analysis? From the opening stanza discussing ‘bubble mixture’—an obvious allusion to the property market—to possibly the most shrewd deconstruction of taxation ever expressed in verse, with the analysis: “We’ll go to people’s homes and ask to borrow some money … we’ll give them back less 42

money and cause them confusion”. That’s the solution, that’s the collusion indeed.

Perhaps the most barefaced reference is in rapper Savage’s cameo, though, where he espouses digging for “oil, crystals and gold”— the exploitation of New Zealand’s mineral resources presumably being necessary to fuel the ever-burgeoning welfare state. Not only this, but the ‘teeth’ of the population must be harvested and assimilated in a giant bowl. I could go on forever. Flirting with the line between satire and earnest exhortation,

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BUSINESS CLUB

2012/13 INTERNSHIPS AND GRADUATE JOBS! CareerHub CAREERHUB.VICTORIA.AC.NZ Get your CV ready—attend workshops, CV checks…

Business & Investment Club Tuesday 18 September, 4pm @ SU218 - “How I built Rhythm & Vines” with the CEO/Festival director Scott Witters, talks about his role in turning a party for a bunch of mates into NZ’s largest music festival. Come and learn about how did he become music festival organizer and event entrepreneur, what were his biggest obstacles and lots more!

Thursday 20 September, 6.30pm @ SU217 - “Financial literacy and why it´s important in the real life”. Lucas Remmerswaal, an entrepreneur and author of six books, will be explaining why he wants Kiwis to understand the financial world and how to improve your financial situation.

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28-Sep

Smart-Builder, Orion Health, TigerTurf, Core Technology, Parliamentary Counsel Office, Jade Software Corporation

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5-Oct

Career Events - book on CareerHub:

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18-Sep

Disney International Programme

20-Sep

JET Programme

24-Sep

V I C SPE AKE R E VE NT VicIDS Speaker Event: Zen Under Fire: A New Zealand woman’s experiences in Afghanistan, by Marianne Elliott Monday, 24th September, 5.15pm, CO304 From 2006 to 2007, Marianne Elliott, a human rights lawyer from New Zealand, was stationed with the UN in Herat, Afghanistan. Her book, Zen Under Fire is a vivid account of Marianne’s experiences in one of the world’s most notorious battlefields. As well as detailing her UN role, Marianne tells the very personal story of the shattering effect that the high-stress environment had on her and her relationships.

Marianne will talk about keeping her cool while keeping the peace in Afghanistan, and what it really means to do good in a country that is under siege from within.

Free Fairtrade tea and coffee provided!

Full details on CareerHub http://careerhub. victoria.ac.nz

TO ASTMASTE RS

C AN DO

Victoria University Toastmasters.

Improve your communication & Leadership Skills.

We have a fantastic group who will help you to develop your speaking abilities in a supportive environment!

We meet Every Wednesday 12noon to 1pm, Student Union Building. Room 219.

Can Do, the rep group for students with disabilities or impairments, is meeting on Wednesday 19th September between 3-4pm. Come along to Meeting Room 2 in the Student Union Building to get involved!

STUD E N T E XCHANGE Vic OE – Vic Student Exchange Programme Why not study overseas as part of your degree?!

Earn Vic credit, get Studylink & grants, explore the world!

Weekly seminars on Wednesdays, Level 2, Easterfield Building, 12.55pm - 1.05pm Next Deadline: For Tri 2, 2012 exchange - Jan 5th Email: VicOE@vuw.ac.nz Website: http://victoria.ac.nz/exchange Visit us: Level 2, Easterfield Building Drop-in hours: Mon & Tues 9-12, Wed-Fri 10-12

R E FUGE E BKGR O UND ▴▴ ▴▴

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Refugee Background Students Drop In Centre For Refugee Bachground Students.

Every week day 4-6pm, there is a drop-in centre on the 10th Floor of the Murphy Building in room 1010, to help you with your studies.

The Centre is run by senior students, and you can drop by at any time for help with essays, studying for a test, dealing with a tutor, planning your degree, practicing an oral presentation etc.

You can also just drop by to de-stress, get something to eat and have a chat.

For more info email taylor.hughson@gmail.com.

TAE KWO N D O CLUB Victoria University TaeKwonDo Club ▴▴ Interested in Taekwondo? New to Taekwondo?

Learned Taekwondo before? ▴▴ Come along and join us! Great way to keep fit and have fun! ▴▴ Training times: ▴▴ Tuesday 6.30pm - 8.00pm Long Room, Victoria University Recreation Centre Saturday 3.30pm - 5.30pm Dance Room, Victoria University Recreation Centre ▴▴ What you need: Drink bottle, comfy trousers/ shorts, t-shirt ▴▴ Contact us: vuwtkd@hotmail.com

UTHER DEAN

43

Salient ♥ you

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LETTER ✶ OF THE ✶

WEEK

WINS TWO FREE COFFEES FROM VIC BOOKS!

LIBERAL PARTY-POOPER STRIKES AGAIN. FUN’S OVER, EVERYONE. Preaching Tolerance.

I think there’s a certain misconception that being against gay marriage makes you a hateful bigot. It just makes you against gay marriage. Kelburn campus is a hot- bed of liberal sentiment and if you’re not on the amendment buzz you might as well be a Jew in a beer hall.

Personally, I’m for a revision that would allow gays to tie the knot but I won’t be encouraged to hate my brother that isn’t. That is, my metaphorical brother, my fellow man whom I’m yet to have the pleasure of meeting.

If you latch on to a certain view someone holds and categorize them without even knowing them, without having chewed tobacco or downed some ruff-as-guts moonshine, you’re a sorry excuse for a liberal. How can one view define someone’s character?

It’s a sentiment that I struggle with and will never subscribe to.

The other day I was zombie- lurching towards Hunter, desperate for a brew, when a man stopped me and told me his beliefs on how the world came to be. He challenged me and welcomed my queries.

Five minutes later I was on my merry way, heartened that the religious minority is not vanquished and has in fact survived the latest bush fires set to send his kind running from the forest. There may come a moment when you’re faced with an offer of free ice-cream from one of

letterS the church groups on campus, if you have an aversion to vanilla then fair enough, otherwise to refuse is just cold. Be lovely and tolerant.

Matt White

BURGER KING IS A HIGHLY RESPECTABLE PLACE OF WORK, IN OUR HUMBLE OPINION. BUT DON’T LET US STOP YOU. Dear Steve, We are really unsure as to which workplaces you wish (and I mean really wish) to be working at in the future. If you plan to spend the rest of your working days at Burger King, then you would be absolutely correct! However, if you plan on earning more than $13.50 an hour, we suggest that you at least make use of Microsoft spell-check.

Whilst we agree that grammar nazis trying to "troll" are annoying, that's no excuse for being a dumbfuck.

Sincerely, The not-so gramma nazis P.S. Can we get some fries with that?

SHE WAS JUST TOO BOOKISH, Y’KNOW? Dear Library I think it’s time we started seeing other people.

Your just too self-conscious.

Having the entrance on the second floor did NOT make you look fat, you were beautiful just the way you were.

It’s not me, it’s you.

Regards, Dovahkiin P.S To the scumbag who camps the free V vending machine, fuck you

SALIENT LETTERS POLICY 2012 Salient welcomes, encourages and thrives on public debate—be it serious or otherwise— through the letters pages. Write about what inspires you, enrages you, makes you laugh, makes you cry. Send us feedback, send us abuse. Anything. Letters must be received before 5pm Tuesday, for publication the following week.

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44

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A BIG FAN OF THE SUBLIME SUBJECT, THEN. Dear Salient, I like words, and I like that you like words enough to fill a whole issue with words about words. I’ve been thinking recently about the difficulties involved in speaking another language, and how this is in many ways similar to living a life of faith. With language learning, there’s so much to think about: the right words; the correct endings and beginnings, an accepted order, and even an accurate pronunciation.

If any of these things is out of place, you know that it’s bad and just sounds weird to other people, those annoying native speakers who are able to do this so effortlessly.

And so you get more and more scared to say anything, for fear of making a faux pas.

Often I think faith like Christianity looks much the same.

You need to learn all these rules in order to ‘speak’ or live properly.

Thou shalt have no God before me, and i before e except after c. Go to church on a Sunday, and learn to use the subjunctive correctly.

Don’t steal, and don’t split the infinitive.

But the funny thing about language is, the language is not the main aim. The point of language is to be able to communicate. It’s the relationship you can have with other speakers, hearers, signers, readers and writers that is most important. The rules merely aid the communication.

Similarly with Christianity, it’s the relationship with God, the creator of the universe (and of language), that is the important bit. You don’t become fluent by learning all the rules but by speaking, and practicing, and getting it wrong, and trying again.

You do it in community, and for community. And I guess that’s how you become fluent in faith.

Hopeful Cynic

‘A CANDIDATE WE CAN BOTH TRUST AND CUDDLE.’ SALIENT FORMALLY ENDORSES THIS MESSAGE. I hereby announce my candidacy for VUWSA President 2013. I welcome all students to jump aboard the cabbage boat.

A vote for me is a vote for John Banks.

Thanks, John Banks.

Salient ♥ you

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THE CAPITALISTS ARE HERE, AND THEY WANT TO TAKE IT ALL. AGAIN. If someone tells you that money doesn’t matter, you can safely call bollocks. Don’t go by what the majority of people think, because in case you hadn’t noticed, a majority of people earn average wages. Also those who say money doesn´t matter, usually don´t have much of them.

As with other things, I like to compare it to girls. Sally has selfesteem issues, and pretends to be a duck on all her Facebook photos to make people think she’s hot and confident. However, you know as well as I do that this doesn’t change the fact that she is extremely homely.

She’ll never admit to wanting to be different, because that would compromise the illusion of selfworth she’s tricked herself into believing. In fact, she’ll go so far as to say that beauty doesn’t matter, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. But because the veneer is thick, she’ll never be treated like a beautiful person.

By the way, bear with me, this is going somewhere deep.

Compare Sally with Talia, the beautiful girl you don’t know personally but love nonetheless.

Talia is confident, respects herself and just has an attractive personality, brought on by years of people doting on her and building her up. Now, if Sally had Talia’s personality, you can see that she would be treated with respect, and people would even start to think she’s quite good looking.

So why doesn’t this person who’s telling you that money doesn’t matter stop being a Sally and admit they want to be a billionaire?

Because they’re scared of what they might discover. By admitting that money does matter, they’ll have to do something about it. So go ahead, call bollocks, prepare yourself for the shameless plug and let them know there is a place to take the first step... which might be your visit to the Business and Investment Club. www.bic.org.nz/events Edy Smith

letterS consulting wikipedia, you’ll find that this is a pretty medium/average sized/behaved duck. you’ll get to the end of the description paragraph and think something along the lines of mm i need to stop spending so much time on wikipedia, because i’ve finally graduated to researching not only abstract/obscure facts on unnecessary information, i’m now researching ducks, which isn’t even all that appealing. you’ll think that. well. turns out, the mallard has unusual mating habits, in that during the mating season he/she will couple off with another member, much like humans (they’re so similar to us). inevitably (as is the case with humans, from my experience of wellington town on saturday night in el horno n sht) there’s a large shortage of female ducks during the pairing process, leaving a large number of male ducks solitary, and horny. these males form groups, and seek out lone females (of any species), and proceed to chase and peck at them, until the female becomes so weak that she can no longer run, whereupon the males take turns “copulating” (wikipedia, 2012) with her. this “rape intent flight” (Cramp and Simmons) is essentially a group rape. there have even been documented cases of group rape of a male of another species, along with a necrophiliac rape of a dead male, of another species. just thought people should know how sinister ducks really are. peace.

WE WOULD’VE SAID YES Hi Salient Would you like to hear a joke?

No? Okay.

“I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR RANSOM, I CAN TELL YOU I DON’T

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HAVE MONEY. BUT WHAT I DO HAVE ARE A VERY PARTICULAR SET OF SKILLS; SKILLS I HAVE ACQUIRED OVER A VERY LONG CAREER. SKILLS THAT MAKE ME A NIGHTMARE FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU. IF YOU LET THIS GO NOW, THAT’LL BE THE END OF IT. I WILL NOT LOOK FOR YOU, I WILL NOT PURSUE YOU. BUT IF YOU DON’T, I WILL LOOK FOR YOU, I WILL FIND YOU, AND I WILL KILL YOU.” Dear Editors, Hey, so you may not know me, but I am a really keen student who just loves your student paper, and I would love to get more involved.

I don’t want to write because I have hopeless handwriting. I don’t want to edit because I never really progressed beyond spelling rocket at school. So I thought I’d just try and get a bit more emotionally connected to y’all. And I’ve got the solution.

Where can I get my Salient uniform?

I’ve noticed it. It breaks gender boundaries. Classic blue shirt, accentuating your non blue collar lifestyle. Rolled up jeans as if your Aunt has handed them down from your shorter cousin. Jerseys kinda straggely. But that’s the point. The genius of the warm, bury-yourselfin-me, jersey. Footwear is strictly uniform. Either converse or leather ankle cut boots.

This cannot be a coincidence. I must have missed the memo.

Where can I get mine?

Savemart?

Regards, Your biggest fan!

WE ADVOCATE A BINDING REFERENDUM ON THE MATTER. Dear Salient, Here’s a cracker for ya!

Would you rather go down on your dad and have your dog walk in on you, or go down on your dad and have your dog walk in on you?

Makes ya think, doesn’t it?

CAPTION ME!

JESUS DUCKING CHRIST. WE’LL HAVE TO POSTPONE THIS WEEKEND’S PICNIC-RELATED ACTIVITIES. hello salient, you saucy minx, i just thought i’d write a letter to bring something to the attention of you guys, and also just the general populace. the students at large, and etc, you know. so basically it turns out there’s this duck, entitled the ‘Mallard.’ you may have heard of him/her. after

45

Salient ♥ you

▼

puzzles

5

6

Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.46)

4

3

6

2 6 3

7

9

4

9

1

6

9

2

1

7

8

9

3 3

▲

7

4

5

1

2 4

8

7

ACROSS

BUREAUCRACY PINKO ANARCHY LIBERTY RESPONSIBLE REPRESENTATIVE FREE SPEECH NEOLIBERAL

PARLIAMENT POLARIZATION PROPAGANDA REPUBLICAN CONSERVATIVE SPIN

8. Bury a New Zealand political party?

(5,8) 9. Ultimate nerd (8) 10. With 11-Across, political party with a shift lever? (6,6) 11. See 10-Across 12. Chemical element also called 'wolfram' (8) 16. Person who might be hired to make the jokes in this puzzle? (9,6) 19. Put at ease (8) 23. With 25-Across, political party members in the wilderness? (6,6) 25. See 23-Across 26. Member of a subculture associated with neo-Nazis (8) 27. Enter atop a political party's shoulders? (3,2,2,3,3)

THUGOCRACY IDEOLOGY ADMINISTRATION

DOWN

1. 1959 Western starring John Wayne and Dean Martin (3,5) 2. It can precede phonic and type (6) 3. In the back (6) 4. Winter covering (6) 5. Military pilots (6) 6. Speaking as one (2,6) 7. Hack (6) 13. Evocatively named fruit (4) 14. ___ King Cole (3) 15. He's Claudius in 'The Lion King' (4) 16. Average number of strokes (3) 17. Looks at closely (8) 18. Brief moments (8) 20. Turn Bruce into The Hulk, for example (6) 21. Bear-like (6) 22. Letting up (6) 23. What “your items may move” during (6) 24. Nuke, in a way (6)

BIPARTISAN DUCK

SALIENT’S QUIZ FOR THE QUERULOUS

1.

Who was Keith Richards’ best man?

3.

How much money does the operator request from the 6. caller for the next three minutes in Dr Hook’s magnum 7. opus, the song Sylvia’s Mother?

8.

What is the name for a triangle that has three different lengths?

9.

What colour is Whitechapel on a Monopoly board?

4.

How many US states begin with the letter A?

5.

From which country did pop group Aqua come?

What do sumo wrestlers throw into the ring prior to a match?

2.

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10.

Which country is Sophia the capital of?

Which word can go before the following to make three new words – ground, pedal, water?

How many letters of the alphabet are used as Roman numerals?

RUSS KALE

Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Wed Sep 12 05:36:57 2012 GMT. Enjoy!

Forty cents; scalene; brown; 4—Alaska, Alabama, Arkansas and Arizona; Denmark; Mick Jagger; Bulgaria; back; 7 (X, I, L, M, C, V and D); salt.

vbc guide MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

7AM - 10AM

FLIGHT COFFEE

VBC BREAKFAST

WITH SALLY, LEWIE & MIKE Hot music. Great guests. Sweet hook-ups.

Live VBC News & Traffic every 30 minutes with Megan.

10AM - 12PM

SANDWICHES

PICK 'N' MIX

WITH TASH, GUSHIE & GUESTS Tunes, interviews, give-aways and music news.

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

7AM -10AM

8AM -10AM

DJ MP3 PLAYER

THE CHILDREN'S CORNER WITH LAUREN, FLO & GUESTS

10AM -12PM

10AM - 12PM

BRUNCH

WAKE N' BAKE PEARCE & DUNCAN

WITH

12PM - 2PM

12PM - 2PM

12PM - 1PM

12PM - 2PM

12PM - 2PM

12PM - 2PM

MIDDAY

THE BEEF! WITH MATT & ALEX

NO GRIM BUSINESS WITH PAUL

INFIDEL CASTRO

SONG FROM YOUR LUNCH BOX! WITH

THE MIDDAY BUSINESS POWER LUNCH WITH EMMA

GROOVY TIMES WITH

KORERO MAI W FLAUN

WITH PHILIP

MCSWEENY

JORDAN & HAYLEY

2PM - 4PM

2PM - 4PM

1PM - 3PM

LIAM & GABBY'S

2PM - 4PM

CASEY

WED AFTERNOON

DOM'S

'RADIO SHACK'

WITH NINA

RAD SHOW

MAORI THEMES & TUNES

2PM - 4PM

2PM - 4PM

ALEX, MICHAEL & NICK

DAVE & ED

2PM - 4PM

LORENZO & PALS!

4PM - 7PM

4PM - 7PM

4PM - 7PM

4PM - 7PM

4PM - 7PM

4PM - 7PM

4PM - 6PM

MONDAY DRIVE

MONDO'S

LOUI'S

THURSDAY DRIVE WITH

BELLA'S SUPER CUTE HANGOUT!

ELECTRIC BLISS WITH JOE

ARTS SHOW

7PM - 8PM

7PM - 9PM

7PM - 9PM

6PM - 9PM

THE KING

REGGAE, SKA & PUNK WITH OLLIE & TIM

MAKING WAVES

9PM - 11PM

9PM - 11PM

9PM - 11PM

NITEY NITE

RAILROAD BLUES WITH RAY

WITH

ALEC

7PM - 9PM

DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH NICK & GEORGE

TUESDAY DRIVE SHOW

WEDNESDAY DRIVE SHOW

7PM - 9PM

7PM - 9PM

SLIM PICKING'S SLIM & BUNNY

WITH

CNTRL/ ALT / DELETE WITH

ROHAN & KEGAN

AIDAN

TRAIN SPOTTING THE LEADER & HOLLY & STUMBLE

WITH

9PM - 11PM

9PM - 11PM

9PM - 11PM

9PM - 10PM

THE VINYL COUNTDOWN

BEATS, BASS & BULLSHIT

THAT'S SO METAL

COMPULSORY ECSTASY

WITH

JOSH

MIKEY & PETER

WITH

JACK & BRYN

HAYDEN & MITCHELL

WITH

WITH

KIM & NIC

IN DEEP

WITH

AMY JEAN

WITH

GUESTS

WITH

WITH

VIRGINIA

KARIIIBA

gig guide WED 19TH

THUR 20TH

FRI 21ST

SAT 22ND

MIGHTY MIGHTY

MON 17TH

BIG RIVER CHAIN

ADAM PAGE

HEART ATTACK ALLEY, STOMPIN’ NICK

SHITRIPPER, ROGERNOMICS, NUMBSKVLL

SAN FRANCISCO BATHHOUSE BODEGA

MC CONSCIOUS HIP HOP JAM

MODULE SHATTER LIVE ARCHITECTS

MEOW CAFE

THE MEDICINE THE NEW BRIDES, THE NOUNS, THE PLACID SAINTS & THE LUCID EFFECT KROON FOR YOUR KAI

SUBHUMANS NEW ZEALAND TOUR BLACKWATER

MEDUSA

SOUTHERN CROSS

TUE 18TH

BANDEOKE

EARFOOD

PUNCHLINE DESECRATION OF THE CAPITAL 3

AMIRIA GRENELL

  

 



   

SAVE MY STUDY  LOOK! A FREE LAPTOP!  Salient has teamed up with Vic ITS to help get your study-life back on track by offering you the chance to claim a nifty wee Dell Inspiron 1545 laptop in jet black.

The machine features 2.2 GHz CPU, 3GB SDRAM, a 500GB Hard Drive, 15.6 “ Screen 720p WLED (1366x768) and Windows Vista. Hawt.

All you need to do is send a picture of the worst study space you can find—you know, the place where you study that is in fact worst for your education—to editor@salient.og.nz with ‘SAVE MY STUDY’ and your student ID number in the subject line. You can also enter by posting your pics onto the Salient Facebook page or by tweeting @salientmagazine #savemystudy. Oh, and for authenticity make sure there’s a copy of Salient in the photo somewhere. Simple, really.

The winning snap, as selected by staff from Salient and ITS, will take home the swanky piece of hardware—no questions asked.

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