Body | Issue 14

issue 14 vol.78

body and mind 1

13 july

The Pretentious Issue Beautiful Bodies / Restorative Justice / Women’s Football / Orthorexia / Come On! Feel the Harsh Noise! 12

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The Malickthon 18

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Panel Experts 26

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NEWS AND OPINION

REGULAR CONTENT

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University shits on democracy

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Karori students to move to

3 Editorial 6 Notices 8 Ask Agatha 8 Bridget Bones’ Diary 10 Maori Matters 10 The Week In Feminism 12 We Drank This So You

Wouldn’t Have To 12 The Moan Zone 14 Letters 14 Yarn With Zwaan 34 Music 37 Science 38 Books 39 Games 41 Food 41 Fashion 42 Film 44 Visual Arts 46 Comics 47 Puzzles

Kelburn

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FEATURES

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Beautiful Bodies

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“Good Luck”: My Experience

With Restorative Jutice

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Bend It Like Miyama

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The Problem With #healthspo

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Reclaiming Disability

Editor Sam McChesney editor@salient.org.nz Design and Illustration Ella Bates-Hermans Lily Paris West designer@salient.org.nz News Editor Nicola Braid news@salient.org.nz Investigative News Editor Sophie Boot Chief Sub Editor Kimaya McIntosh Sub Editor Zoe Russell

Senior Feature Writer Philip McSweeney

News Photographer Jess Hill

Read Salient online at salient.org.nz

Feature Writers Sharon Lam Gus Mitchell

Section Editors Sharon Lam (Visual Arts) Jayne Mulligan (Books) Bridget Pyć (Science) Kate Robertson (Music) Fairooz Samy (Film) Jess Scott (Fashion) Jack Young (Games)

Contact Level 2, Student Union Building Victoria University PO Box 600, Wellington 04 463 6766

Distributor Beckie Wilson News Reporters Tim Grgec Emma Hurley Charlie Prout Beckie Wilson Elea Yule News Interns Jordan Gabolinscy Rachel Gifford Alexa Zelensky

Other Contributors Auntie Agatha, Bridget Bones, Te Po Hawaikarangi, Brittany Mackie, Lydia and Mitch, Tom and Luke, Kate Dowdle, Baz Macdonald, Sarah Dillon, Kari Schmidt, Puck

Advertising Jason Sutton sales@vuwsa.org.nz 04 463 6982 Social Media Philip McSweeney philip@salient.org.nz fb.com/salientmagazine @salientmagazine Printed By Inkwise, Ashburton

About Us Salient is published by, but is editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association (VUWSA). Salient is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA) and the New Zealand Press Council.

Salient is funded in part

by Victoria University of Wellington students through the Student Services Levy. The views expressed in Salient do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor, VUWSA, or the University.

Complaints People with a complaint against the magazine should first complain in writing to the Editor and then, if not satisfied with the response, complain to the Press Council.

See presscouncil.org.nz/ complain.php for more information.

Sam McChesney

Hello everyone.

Before we start, I just wanted to say, hello. Glad you’re still here.

Things got a bit dark toward the end of last semester, what with the lack of puzzles and the shit editorials and the general carnage that ensued. But now Salient is eager and fresh: fresh ideas, fresh energy, fresh puzzles, fresh breath, and a general sense of fresh vim, spark and positivity. Isn’t that thing great! And that thing, too!

Wonderful; it’s all great. And so are you.

You can reliably expect this happy new outlook to last at least three issues, or until I run out of wine. But for now, I’m contentedly tipsy, I’ve just discovered Buffy the Vampire Slayer (a deprived childhood means more ways to fill in time as an adult, and mine was spent watching BBC miniseries with my mum), and my inner curmudgeon purrs to be living in a city whose favourite pastime is getting mown down by buses. That last bit wasn’t really relevant, it’s just something I appreciate about Wellington.

As for this editorial, the benefit of a sixweek break is that there’s never a shortage of topics to cover. But holy shit, where to start? VUWSA decided to pay its NZUSA levies after all (boring!), Air New Zealand introduced an elite megalomaniacs’ club to pander to its point-one-percenters (predictable!), everyone died on Game of Thrones (old news!). I was going to use the fact that this is the Body issue to shoehorn Rachel Dolezal into this editorial—but I then I thought, ten-foot pole, etcetera.

Did I mention that this is the Body issue, and that I’m really good at segues? This week we have something of a landmark feature—a nude photoshoot celebrating body positivity. Good luck finding one of those on Stuff ! Philip McSweeney’s outdone himself this time, and as soon as you read all about how the uni are being dicks (see: most of our news), you should immediately turn to page 16.

Looking at studies of body image reveals a confusing array of results—97 per cent of women have at least one negative thought about their body per day; men worry more about their appearance than women; 80 per cent of men and 75 per cent of women are dissatisfied with their bodies (according to another study, it’s over 80 per cent for women too); the vast majority of women overestimate their size. Most of the research is from the States—is it even relevant to New Zealand? Maybe; the perennial culprit for negative body image is the media, and our media is clearly very US-centric. Maybe not; Americans have higher rates of obesity than we do and, as the US media kindly tells us, fat is bad.

One thing I took away from the tangles of statistics is that not many people are happy with their bodies. This is a relief, because I’m not either. My height pushes past “impressive” proportions and way into “gangly freak” territory; I have weird, jutting-out bones where muscle and flubber ought to be; and instead of tanning, I’m locked in an endless cycle of pasty, bright red, flaking and gross, pasty again. I’m fully aware that my problems are extremely privileged ones—oh no, I’m too tall! oh no, I’m too thin! oh no, I’m too white!—and that for people on the frontline, as it were, of fat-shaming and racism, these must seem horribly petulant whinings. My point, though, if I have one, is that body issues are a pretty universal experience, which makes it even dumber that we have them in the first place.

If it’s true that only 3 per cent of women have no negative thoughts about their bodies, or that fewer than 20 per cent of any gender like their bodies overall, that’s messed up. The proportion of people I (and, I daresay, you) find attractive is much, much higher than that. The standards we’re given by the media (omg the media sucks so much huh) are self-applied far more strictly than they are in relation to others—and what we actually find attractive has so much more to do with the things people do and say, than with the stark unreality of the bathroom mirror. Point is, you’re a babe. Embrace it.

Oh, and the puzzles are on page 47.

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News and Opinion

Vic ignores counsel on Council, shits on democracy Nicola Braid and Sam McChesney Victoria wants to remove all democratically elected seats from its University Council, and student leaders are fucked off about it.

Vic’s Council Composition Current Council

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After a month-long consultation process, the University last Monday released its proposed changes to Council. Submissions on the proposals close 24 July at 5pm.

Proposed Council

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10

The Council will retain two student seats and two seats for “expert” academic staff members. The four directly-elected alumni seats will be removed, and replaced with a requirement that at least two members of Council be Victoria alumni. In addition, at least two of the 12 seats must be filled by Māori, and five by women.

Elected

Elected

Appointed/Co-opted

Appointed/Co-opted

The current, nineteen-strong council has no Māori members, six women, and thirteen white dudes.

3 4

2 1 2

Ministerial Appointees

Ministerial Appointees

Vice-Chancellor

Vice-Chancellor

Academic Staff

Academic Staff

General Staff

Students

Students

Co-opted Members

Council of Trade Unions rep Business New Zealand rep Alumni Co-opted Members

www.salient.org.nz

Under the changes, the Council—responsible for everything from the University budget to moving faculties—will mostly be appointed by a committee.

The most controversial proposal is the removal of the ten democratically-elected student, staff and alumni seats, and their replacement with four appointed seats. A seven-strong Appointments Panel—made up of the Chancellor, Vice-Chancellor, two people nominated by Council, the VUWSA President, one Te Aka Matua (the Māori Advisory Committee) nominee, and one academic staff member—will appoint these and three other seats.

VUWSA President Rick Zwaan slammed the changes as undemocratic. He said the proposal “suggests that a panel of seven council appointees are better placed to choose a student representative than the 22,000 people this person would endeavour to represent”.

“It’s important that the decisions are made by the community and not by a select few people.”

The Tertiary Education Union (TEU) has also publicly condemned the proposed Council for lacking democratic accountability. “The University needs to be brave and trust its students and staff to continue to make wise choices,” TEU President Sandra Grey said.

News and Opinion

issue 14

The union also disagreed with the lack of representation afforded to general staff who, according to Grey, “make up half of the University’s workforce”.

With regards to the seats allotted for Māori, Ngai Tauira co-President Geneveine Wilson recognised that there was “potential for a greater Māori voice under the new composition”, but that this was subject to those on the advisory and appointment committees.

Wilson also said the lack of elections would silence students and expressed concerns that appointment panels could be problematic for Māori representation if “Te Aka Matua membership [were] not solely Māori”.

The changes have been prompted by the passage of the Education Amendment Act (No 2), which, among other requirements, has reduced the maximum council size from 20 to 12.

05

During the consultation period, the University sent out surveys to staff and students asking how the Council should be selected. The survey question concerning the selection process was criticised for its lack of clarity. Readers were asked whether members should be selected via a “stakeholder composition approach” (in this case, stakeholders are staff, students and others like businesses or unions) or selected in regard to “optimal diversity of background”.

The question failed to both specify that

the “stakeholder composition approach” meant members were elected, and inferred that this option did not ensure “diversity of background”.

Zwaan argued that “elected members in the past have been the most gender-equitable, and have had a wider variety of skills.”

BoardWalks Consultor Graeme Nahkies, who was brought in to assist in the consultation process, claimed in his report that representation via election wasn’t

Representation on Council

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32 Women Maori

The legislation was widely seen as an attempt to increase government influence over tertiary institutions; the number of Ministerappointed positions will remain at four while councils shrink overall.

Alumni

21 16.7

16.7

Appointment vs Election The proposed Appointments Panel will select members of the Council on the basis of their “knowledge, skills, experience and diversity”.

This is believed to be an improvement on voters, who tend to make their decisions on the basis of coin flips and readings of rabbit entrails.

Proposed Council Compositions

0 Current Council

Proposed Council

33.3

25

25

25

25

25

25

% of students and staff % elected 16.7

16.7

16.7

16.7 16.7

8.3

0 Victoria

Auckland

Otago

Waikato

Canterbury

Massey

Lincoln

editor@salient.org.nz

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News and Opinion

necessarily “the best way of delivering Governance competencies”.

Nahkies claimed staff and student members currently had conflicts of interest with the Council and concluded that “the most effective way of managing conflicts of interest… is to avoid them in the first place”.

The report cited VUWSA President Rick Zwaan’s recent denouncement of Engineering Master’s programmes as the reason for the VUWSA President being excluded from the proposed Council.

Zwaan’s position means he must sometimes publicly criticise Council decisions when those decisions are not in the best interests of students. As a result he is unable to fully subscribe to the principle of collective responsibility—that all individual members should publicly support the collective decisions of the body.

Instead of the drawing the logical conclusion—that collective responsibility isn’t always desirable and elected Council

N otices

Operation Christmas Child Want to send Christmas gifts to send to children all over the world this year?

Come join our club! Operation Christmas Child—VUW is a club dedicated to making children all over the world feel special during Christmas. Our members all meet up and assemble shoeboxes filled with toys, books and lots of love!

They are shipped away and sent to children everywhere. If you would like to join us this year, please email us at occvuw@homail.com :)

Victoria Abroad–Student Exchange Deadline for Trimester 1, 2016 exchanges is JULY 16th!

Why not study overseas as part of your degree?!

Study in English, Earn Vic credit, Get Studylink & grants, explore the world!

Deadline: July 16th!

Website: http://victoria.ac.nz/exchange

www.salient.org.nz

members should have their freedom of speech protected—the University and Nahkies decided to ditch democracy because, hey, fuck accountability.

The last time the VUWSA President did not automatically hold a position on Council was 2013. The President from that year, Rory McCourt, last week described Nahkies’ reasoning as “absolute bullshit”.

McCourt, who was instrumental in restoring the VUWSA President’s seat on Council, said that the President brings essential institutional knowledge to the position that cannot be matched by other student representatives.

A lack of voter turnout for council elections was also taken to mean that staff and students members should simply be be appointed.

Nahkies’ report stated that “History would seem to suggest that, apart from a small number of motivated individuals, neither of those communities has a great deal of interest in being directly involved in the governance process.”

salient

According to Salient’s calculations, several thousand voting students is still much larger than a seven-person committee, as are the 2000-odd staff and students who completed the governance survey, and the 155 people who personally emailed submissions.

Finally, the lack of elections were justified on the basis that “it is only occasionally that Council decisions (e.g. student tuition fees) are likely to have a direct bearing on the student population”. It’s ironic that the report was released a week after Council decided to close its Karori campus and relocate over 1000 students to Kelburn with no clear plan as to how to house them.

So we may have abandoned objectivity and balance somewhat here, but seriously Vic— what the fuck?

To make a submission on the proposals, email council-consultation@vuw.ac.nz before 5pm, 24 July 2015.

Careers and Employment

Alan Davies giveaway

See Recruitment Schedule for details: http://bit.ly/1zGNacY Currently recruiting: TimePlan Education, NZ Transport Agency, UBS, Ministry of Business, Innovation & Employment, AMP, NZ Superannuation, Goodman Fielder, Disney, ANZ, Zomato, CAANZ… and many more.

Connect with employers via Recruitment events: http://bit.ly/1DOS0WK Upcoming employer presentations: OMD (14 July), Clemenger Group (15 July), MBIE (16 July), CAANZ (22 July), Toyota (23 July).. and more Check in with a Careers Consultant during our daily drop-in sessions! http:// bit.ly/1A1ORgv Get help with your CV, Cover Letter, Interview skills etc For more info, login to www.victoria. ac.nz/careerhub with your Student Computing login!

The British High Commission and Salient have two double passes to Alan Davies’ Wellington standup show on August 1 and 2, “Little Victories” to give away!

Simply email editor@salient.org.nz with your name, contact details and the answer to this question:

Up and Adam

It’s incredible. It’s all ours.

Up and Adam is a new tumblr/blog in association with the Adam Art Gallery, run by Victoria University students and Adam volunteers. Contemporary Art. The Adam. Wellington. New Zealand.

Daily. Check it out! upandadamart.tumblr.com upandadamart.blogspot.com upandadamart@gmail.com

Chantal Fraser July 1 – July 25 Enjoy Public Art Gallery Through cultural and social practices of adornment, Chantal Fraser explores both sides of cross-cultural allure and representation. Via experiences of seduction and longing, Chantal considers the curiosities, consequences and romanticism of colonialism.

When did 10 Downing Street become the UK Prime Ministers’ residence?

Make sure to follow the The UK in New Zealand on Facebook and Twitter—@ UKinNZ—for information about Great Britain and Northern Ireland, as well as more competitions—we’re giving away a double pass to the Bond retrospective at the Roxy each week until the release of Spectre.

Entries close Wednesday 29th July.

Tickets for the extra Sunday show still available from Ticketek.

News and Opinion

issue 14

07

Karori, we’ll finally be together Charlie Prout and Nicola Braid

Victoria University has decided that the Faculty of Education and the Foundation Studies programme will move from Karori to Kelburn, paving the way for Victoria to sell off its long-neglected campus.

The land on which Karori’s Donald Street campus is currently located was publicly gazetted in April, giving weight to the mounting speculation that the University was seeking to sell Karori. Now that the University has moved all the active programmes on the Karori campus to Kelburn, it is believed the sale will go ahead soon.

Both the Faculty of Education and the Foundation Studies programme will be taught at the Kelburn campus from the start of next year. The specialist teaching and learning facilities at Karori (music, art, dance, science and technology) will also be catered for at Kelburn.

According to discussions held by the Academic Board on 9 June, Faculty of Education and Foundation Studies staff were “broadly supportive” of the shift.

Education Dean David Crabbe said the shift to Kelburn would improve recruitment of both staff and students, see more immediate interactions across disciplines, and improve students’ overall access to facilities at Kelburn and in the city.

Some Academic Board members expressed concerns that the relocation would put a strain on library resources and parking availability at Kelburn.

It was also noted that the School of Education’s temporary facilities at Kelburn could be lacking in disability access, which would need to be addressed at a future date.

For students, the shift was seen as an opportunity to maintain a sense of community among the Education students who have, for a long time, reported feeling isolated from the main student body at Kelburn.

While the University had previously taken measures to improve the student experience at Karori through a range of social events, open research seminars and presentations, as well as the recently subsidised cafeteria, the move to Kelburn proved to be the more desirable option.

However, VUWSA Academic VicePresident Jonathan Gee acknowledged that, “it’s been an ongoing frustration for many Karori-based students that they pay the same Student Services Levy yet don’t get the same level of services on their campuses.”

Most education students have reacted positively to the changes. Education student Samantha Ward remains optimistic about the move and told Salient she is happy to not have to “travel as far from home and be closer to my friends.”

However, not all students are convinced that the shift will bring improvements.

the sense of community was important for the students. “The campus at Karori is quite isolated, but it’s a community because we’re all doing the same thing, you won’t have the support system you had amongst students that you had at Karori.”

There are also concerns for the future, or as referred to in University Council papers “likely closure”, of Karori’s Te Ako Pae Marae. The marae currently hosts some of the University’s tikanga-based activities and stands as the only marae in the Karori area.

On top of this, Te Kura Māori—the Māori teaching faculty—will be merged with the Faculty of Education. The merger was aimed at encouraging “togetherness”, according to Crabbe and Deputy Vice Chancellor (Māori) Piri Sciascia, in the hope of overcome the existing “artificial division” that had “hindered collective work” between the two schools.

Crabbe assured Salient that a process was underway to decide the best way to ensure tikanga activities take place at Kelburn. He insisted that there would be an open dialogue with local Māori to decide on the future of the marae.

It remains unclear how exactly the local Māori community will be consulted and whether Te Ako Pae will be incorporated with the the Te Herenga Waka Marae up at Kelburn.

One education student told Salient that while some of the services at Karori were lacking, editor@salient.org.nz

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News and Opinion

BRIDGET BONES’ DIARY Bridget Bones

Tinder for Dummies, part 1 I once spoke to a guy on Tinder using only Taylor Swift lyrics. Apparently, it’s pretty easy to seduce someone by saying “You look like my next mistake”. Another time, I got asked to have an orgy with a guy, his girlfriend, and his mate. And then there’s the time I matched with a goat. Tinder (or Grindr, whatever you kids are using) is great. It’s pretty much free soft porn and a comedy show rolled into a ball with a small-to-nonexistent chance you’ll match with someone you actually want to hook up with. Tinder’s not about finding “the one”, and it’s a shocking place to look for your next relationship, but if you’re down for some fast, easy sex, then it’s the way to go. I have a friend who swears by Tinder for hookups in town. She says it’s the easiest way to get free drinks, a bit of a pash, and an alright fuck if that’s what you’re into.

But Tinder can be daunting—sifting through a thousand photos, eliminating the definite no-nos, accidentally swiping right and immediately screaming NO NO NO, packing your bags and moving to Antarctica cause you’d really rather not.

Over the next two weeks I will be sharing some tips and hints for making Tinder or Grindr less cringe-worthy, and more bangworthy. Stay tuned.

Reasons for using A lot of people use Tinder for casual hookups. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s all people are using Tinder for. So, if you’re looking for a meaningful, long-term relationship, chances are you’re shit out of luck. But, there are other

ASK AGATHA Auntie Agatha

love life, you could invest in a side-bae.

Someone who you could have fun with, but could also treat pretty abominably compared to your main squeeze.

In your friendship relationship, I think you need to invest in a side-BFF to emotionally dump on before you dump them like day-old sushi.

Hi Agatha, My best friend and I used to be really close and hang out all the time, but now she is finding people who are more like her and I’m becoming super jealous. We used to share everything with each other but now she’s being way more distant as she spends time with her other friends. I don’t want to start an argument and push her further away, but how can I deal with her drifting?

–Fallopian Friends Hi there FF, You know what they say—the person who cares the least in the relationship is the one who holds all the power. If this were your www.salient.org.nz

Get it out of your system and come back to your gal pal with a new lease of life. As always, avoid honest communication.

Good luck with your burner friend, -Auntie Agatha Hi Agatha, I think I’m developing a coffee addiction.

I’m spending all my money on takeaway coffee and can’t function in the morning or the afternoon without it. At this rate, I’ll be buying flat whites instead of making rent, help!

–Java Junkie Nice to hear from you JJ,

reasons people use Tinder. Recently there was an internet trend where people tried to get their Tinder matches to send them pizza, and it seemed to work. Free food > sex is apparently a huge thing on the dating app.

And there are more reasons for using the app as well. One of my friends once said “I go on Tinder to see what my dating life could be like, I’m just too lazy to actually do anything about it”. Another one of my friends “has over 300 Tinder matches, but hasn’t been hit on in real life in months”. If you’re using Tinder, keep in mind that it’s not the be-alland-end-all of the dating world. There is this glorious thing called “real life” where people actually want to date, and not just fuck, and sometimes you gotta put down your phone and meet those people.

askagatha@salient.org.nz As a fellow chaser of the caffeine dragon, I think you should just lean into the addiction. You know what they say— when you’re sliding on black ice, steer into the crash.

First of all, you should start investing in home-brew options. Find what suits you for the amount of caffeine you require and the time you have available in the morning. Perhaps you need a stovetop espresso, or a French press. Maybe even go balls out and get some pour over mechanisms. The first step of accepting addiction is deciding how you’re going to continue to feed it for the rest of your life.

Secondly, when you find yourself hankering some of the dark demon away from home, you should consider looking to bottomless filter coffee. This is where you will make your money count. Sit in a café that offers this from dawn till dusk and they’ll be obliged to top you up.

Usually just for a reasonable $4.

Good luck with your dark and steamy urges, ­-Auntie Agatha

News and Opinion

issue 14

09

Nicola Braid

Last week Housing Minister Nick Smith announced that the Government will strengthen tenancy laws to ensure that every rental property in New Zealand is insulated within four years.

The Residential Tenancies Act will now require that all rental properties have ceiling and underfloor insulation as well as smoke alarms by 2019.

According to Smith, “this package will see the biggest improvement in the quality of New Zealand’s older homes this decade than in any other decade.”

The strengthening comes alongside the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment’s new powers to investigate and prosecute landlords for breaching tenancy regulations.

Insulating properties is expected to cost $600m nationwide, with landlords seeing an average cost of $3300 for retrofitting each home.

Labour and the Greens have acknowledged this step, but criticised the announcement for ushering in superficial changes that would not fix what Green Party co-leader Metiria Turei dubbed the “appalling state of rental stock in this country”.

Likewise, NZUSA President Rory McCourt praised the Government for having “finally acknowledged the serious problem of houses that make us sick”, but called for the additional inclusion of cost-effective heating options for rental homes.

VUWSA President Rick Zwaan has raised concerns about

the proposed law changes. Zwaan pointed out that the changes only applied to properties with sufficient cavity space for ceiling and underfloor insulation, potentially ruling out a significant proportion of Wellington rental properties.

Zwaan is currently working with the Wellington City Council on a Rental Warrant of Fitness Programme, which he hopes will encompass additional factors such as heating and ventilation.

Concerns have also been raised regarding the effect that improved insulation will have on rent prices. With the average rent price in Wellington already sitting squarely above Studylink-provided living costs ($195 versus a maximum of $176.86), students may be warmer, but they may pay for it as well.

Vic beats Smith to the post In similar news, Victoria University has recently worked with the Wellington City Council to assess the living standards and energy efficiency levels of 67 VUW residential properties.

Victoria has paid in full for a number of upgrades, including LED light bulbs, water-efficient shower heads, and insulation for water pipes and cylinders.

Wellington City Council Environmental Portfolio leader Iona Pannett remained positive about the improvements made to Vic, and saw the assessment and newly implemented measures as a “trial for how we might work with larger residential landlord groups in the long term”.

FESTIVAL OF NEW THEATRE 10-25 JULY 2015 BATS Theatre, 1 Kent Tce Book online at www.bats.co.nz Or call (04) 802 4175

6.30pm

8.00pm

9.30pm

How To Catch A Grim Reaper

The First 7500 Days Of My Life

The 21st Narcissus

By Helen Vivienne Fletcher Director David Lawrence

By Uther Dean Director Sally Richards

By Sam Brooks Director Uther Dean

editor@salient.org.nz

Maori Matters

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te tangata ki te whaiao, ki te Ao Mārama.

Te whare tapa whā Te Po Hawaikirangi He whā ngā kokona o te whare, he whā ngā taha o te tinana o te tangata, na he whare tapa whā. He tika rā ngā kōrero a Mason Durie: Ko te taha hinengaro te taha ka kawe i ngā whatumanawa o te tangata. Ka ruku hohonu te tangata i ngā momo ahuatanga perā ki te aroha, ki te rangimārie, ki te harikoatanga,ā, ki te pouritanga hoki. Ko te hinengaro o te tangata he momo waka ka kawe i ngā kare-a-roto o te tangata, nā ngā ahuatanga ka patukituki i te manawa. Āpiti atu hoki ko te hinengaro te tahūhū o te whare tangata. Ka noho te kakano i ruia mai i Rangi-ātea i rito i te iho matua o te tangata, ki kōnei ka puawai ngā wawata, ngā aronga o

Ko te taha whānau te ahurumowai, ā, te ukaipotanga o te tangata.

Ko te turanga o te whanau he tino whakahirahira i te oranga o te tangata. Huri kē atu ki te hiranga o to hononga ki o mātua tipuna, nā ngā rā o nehe. Huri kē atu ki te hiranga o ināianei i waenga i to tipuranga. Huri kē atu ki ngā wā kei te heke mai nei ki o mokopuna. Ko te turanga o te whanau te manawa o te tangata.

Kāore e kore ko te taha whanau ko te whakapapa o te tangata. Ko koe tōu maunga e tū tiketike ana. Ko koe tōu awa e maringi ana ki te moana. Ko koe tōu waka e hoe ana ki rangituhāhā.

Ko te taha wairua te taha o te tangata e kore ai e kitea. Tera ko te wairua he ao ano. Kei ia tangata o tēra iwi, o tēra iwi he hononga ki ngā atua, ā, he hononga ki ngā kaitiaki o tēnei ao hurihuri. Kei ia tangata o tēra iwi he hononga ki ngā matua tipuna. Ka tuia te tangata i tōna taha wairua ki ngā mahi katoa.

Kati, ko te taha tinana te tipuranga o te tangata. Ahakoa te aha, ka tipu te tinana o te tangata mai i te wā e koropiko ana koe i roto i te kōpū o to whāea, tae noa atu ki te wā ka hoki to tinana ki te mahanatanga o Hine-nui-te-pō. Ka tahuri ki te hauora ōkiko o te tangata, na ko tēnei te wahanga tino hirahira o te whare tapa whā.

Me whakaruruhau te tangata i a ia ano, hei ora ai tōna ake tinana, te tinana i ahu mai mai i ngā one o Papatuanuku.

Ki te kore tātau e poipoi i ēnei taha e whā o te tinana ka ngaro haere te kitenga,ā, te aronga o te oranga o tātou te ira tangata “ He kakano au i ruia mai i Rangiātea”.

The Week in Feminism

Distractingly sexy and guardians of the forest Brittany Mackie

Sexism in academic fields such as science, technology, engineering and mathematics (STEM) is no new thing, but rarely has it been so obvious than when Nobel prize-winning scientist Tim Hunt remarked that women are a distraction in these fields. This comment resulted in a huge media storm charged by the outrage of women working in scientific fields and resulted in Hunt’s resignation from a number of academic posts. However, it also turned a much needed spotlight on gender discrimination in STEM fields. This is an issue that has existed since women began participating in STEM fields and takes shape in many different ways including wage gaps, a lack of promotion for women in STEM careers, and workplace discrimination from peers.

This discrimination is perhaps most prominent among Indian women scientists, as a recent article published in India Today indicated.

It described the many obstacles that these scientists faced in their fields—from their being asked to do menial and unrelated tasks by www.salient.org.nz

their male colleagues to the lack of women in research agencies.

There was a hopeful spike in Indian women studying STEM fields around 2009 but, as this article shows, this didn’t translate to them getting jobs or careers in their fields of study. Indian women scientists are simply not getting the same encouragement and support that their male counterparts are. This begins at times of study and early schooling and has a ripple effect that changes the outcome of their careers in STEM fields.

Women in Nepal are spearheading the preservation of the Terai forest as it comes under continuous threat of pollution and deforestation. The Terai Arc is a stretch of lowlands in southern Nepal that is home to some of the world’s most fragile and secret ecosystems. Women in the surrounding villages have taken to protecting these lands. Dubbed the “guardians” of the Terai Arc, they spend time maintaining the Mahila Jagaran community forest which borders Nepal and India. The women work in community groups where they learn how to restore overused or otherwise threatened forests, and also how to sustainably harvest the wood which they can then sell or use. A lot of rural Nepal is dominated by women as the men travel abroad to earn more money. The Terai Arc community group not only ensures the protection of the forest itself, but also teaches the women how to live symbiotically with their surrounding environments.

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News and Opinion

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Can’t access counselling? Try origami!

Alexa Zelensky

Give Me a Break Jordan Gabolinscy

Victoria University just can’t seem to satisfy its appetite for reconstruction. Like Rutherford House and the Te Aro Campus, not even the trimester is safe, and trimesters two and three look set for “redevelopment”.

A proposal to extend trimester three by one week to create a 12week summer trimester is on the cards. This extension will only be possible if the mid-trimester two break is cut in half, from two weeks to one.

In recent Academic Board papers, the proposal was put forward to make “better use of trimester three”, at the expense of the midtrimester two break.

By lengthening trimester three, the University hopes to increase the number of its taught Master’s programmes from 8 per cent to 19 per cent, and increasing teaching options and facilities for trimester 3 courses.

However, the idea of giving up a week of the mid-trimester break did not go down well with students. While students saw the long-term benefits of extending trimester three, they could not see any benefits of a curtailed break.

“Does the value of creating more time in trimester three outweigh the benefits of a week less break for students? I don’t think so,” one student said.

VUWSA’s main concern remains around the consultation period for the changes—during which most students were busy studying.

VUWSA Academic Vice-President Jonathan Gee said that “reducing the break means that students will have to choose between earning money or working towards a good grade in an assignment, as the reduced break doesn’t allow for both”.

In response, VUWSA has launched a survey asking students for input on the proposed changes.

If approved, the changes will come into effect in 2017.

Victoria University has implemented another tool to help students who are dealing with anxiety, stress, or some sort of hindrance to their mental wellbeing.

The Bubble, a space opening on Kelburn campus on 27 July, seeks to give students a break from their hectic study lifestyles and enjoy activities like arts and crafts, origami, board games, and gardening. The space will provide a “chill out zone” for students who just need time on their own to de-stress.

The Bubble is one of many initiatives developed by the University in the past two years to help ease the tensions surrounding study.

Roughly 2100 students used the Student Counselling Service last year, primarily for anxiety and depressive symptoms. These problems often arise due to academic pressures, family pressures, financial pressures, a lack of balance in life, or a mixture of a few.

This comes at a time where mental health services at the University have been criticised for their inaccessibility.

Booking an appointment to see a counsellor at university currently sees an average wait time for a meeting at three to four weeks.

“I’ve been a couple of times and just walked out,” one student told Salient.

“By the time they [could] get around to seeing me, my worry would have been dealt with myself,” the student said.

Initiatives like The Bubble, Stress Free Study Week and mental health workshops will see more access for students who need help.

In the 2014 Student Experience Survey 45 per cent of respondents reported having poor to very poor emotional wellbeing, but Student Representative on University Council Stella Blake-Kelly says it’s not just a problem at Victoria.

“Tertiary students nationally and internationally are demonstrating greater rates of poor mental health. It’s a massive challenge, and shifting attitudes is a slow process. But this university is addressing it quicker than others, and the Vice Chancellor and staff are certainly taking it seriously,” Blake-Kelly said.

“I’m very confident that statistic will come down. The first step is for students not to be afraid to ask for help when they need it. Depression and anxiety is much more common than people realise, but the student support staff at Victoria are fantastic. I certainly couldn’t have made it through without them.” editor@salient.org.nz

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Fa ke b o o k Let’s do something which, if you went to a school like we did, was brought up in assembly at least three times a week. So log on and let us talk about Mark Zuckerburg’s little semen child, Facebook. It seems that the current Facebook climate consists of a bunch of shit smeared across our news feeds, like those of the toilets so eloquently discussed in Salient a few weeks ago. Here are the worst offenders: Ridiculous videos. You haven’t liked the page or the video, yet it’s there, and it doesn’t even possess the dignity to wait till you ask it to play it. Before you know it, you are subjected to something that makes you feel less likely to get a job and be successful, just for having watched it. If I wanted to browse

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through soft porn without closing my door, I’d be on YouTube. Hold on. We just saw a girl (whom my dad would describe as a “salad-dodger”) do a cartwheel and expose what was probably her arse. So it ain’t all bad.

Uni has managed to take over your happiness and your bank account, and now it’s got Facebook too. Every second post is someone selling a half-used condom or looking to buy “some green” on Vic Deals.

We bet you didn’t think half your uni learning would come from the MGMT101 2015 page, and when it does it’s great. But more often than not, it’s someone asking how they should staple their assignment, or telling everyone how hard they are for starting their assignment—the night before it’s due. If I wanted to read a couple of idiots talking rubbish about how much they know, I’d read the Moan Zone.

You know that you are proper friends with those other people on your floor when they start digging up old photos with only a spade and a Like button. Although it kinda seems strange that your new “friends”

are trying to latch onto your past, just go with it and get some fresh likes. Another way to pick up some unwanted attention, likes and comments is to befriend someone of the opposite sex. Much banter has been enjoyed and endured. Here are some of our favourites: “Is this the girl bro?”

“Get in there” “Lad” “Nice” “Punching” or a simple tag of another person of the same gender followed by “… thoughts?”

Tip of the week: Facebook stalking is still the most reliable method of working out if someone is hot, but filters can be deceiving.

Poke us on Facebook, or in Famous.

Luke and Tom P.S. It’s not official until it’s Facebook official—it’s definitely a Hight point in a relationship.

We Drank This So You Didn’t Have To

Wild Buck Cost: $3 Alcohol volume: 4% (2.4 standard drinks) Pairing: Dixie Chicks Verdict: “If you’ve tasted beer, you know what this tastes like.”

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Lydia and Mitch At the outset, we think it’s probably quite important to talk about Rihanna’s new video.

Which is great, right? Or maybe it’s not great? Are we allowed to tell people we like it? Where can I buy an ankle-length denim coat? It’s a confusing time for everyone and we’re not going to make it any better. What we are going to do, though, is talk about an equally confusing subject: Wild Buck New Zealand Ale. Confusing because it’s a bit embarrassing but also fine-tasting and obscenely cheap. If you’ve ever asked yourself what it would take to make you drink something that sells itself as “a good, no-nonsense New Zealand Ale”, the answer should probably be “holy crap it’s only $3 for a quart.” If you’re looking for a mellow drunk, possibly at midday on a Thursday (no judgement), then $6 for 4.8 standards drinks is excellent value for money.

If you’re looking to get a bit more shitfaced, we’d recommend aiming for a higher alcohol

content to dollar value ratio. But who’s counting, right?

Taste-wise, Wild Buck is reminiscent of water and stale farts. But it tastes like beer and that’s what’s important. Wine will forever be the queen of our hearts, but beer is more consistent and we appreciate that.

Other things in Wild Buck’s favour is the fun “buck or bull” game under the bottle caps. As we understand it, this is a true or false challenge to spice things up when you’re drinking with yr boiz. However, both of us struggle to understand straight men (more of a problem for Lydia than for Mitch) so we could be wrong. Either way, Wild Buck makes a strong case in both the monetary and novelty value arenas. Its consistency is comforting and a no-surprises form of sozzled is sometimes what you need if you’re applying for graduate jobs, really striking out on Tinder, or doubting your commitment to @badgalriri.

Rihanna and late capitalism are confusing; let Wild Buck be your rock and your shelter in the storm. Find $3 and drink this.

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News and Opinion

Government help out the mamas and the papas Nicola Braid

An increase of $25 per week has been added to the accommodation supplement received by solo parents who are students.

Since 1 July, solo parents who are studying full-time and have been previously approved for a student allowance have received the same amount of accommodation support they would on a benefit.

VUWSA President Rick Zwaan supported the move, but thought more needed to be done. “It’s a really good step forward; however, allowances and living costs in general need to be increased to meet the real world costs,” Zwaan said.

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New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA) President Rory McCourt echoed the sentiments. “Being a student and a parent at the same time is one of the hardest double-acts someone can do. Students have to live on less than the benefit, which adds unwanted financial stress to parents juggling coursework and raising a family.”

This financial aid comes amongst increasing criticism from McCourt and Tertiary Education Union (TEU) President Sandra Grey that student loans and allowances are no longer meeting the cost of living in New Zealand.

In a recent piece from The Wireless, Grey pointed to the means by which students were forced to support themselves in addition to study. “Most of the students I teach work at least 15 hours a week, and many up to 30 hours. That’s basically a fulltime job on top of a fulltime job of studying,” she wrote.

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editor@salient.org.nz

L

etters

Letter of the Week: Dear Salient, I have found Tom and Luke!

Yes, the search for the super mysterious dudebros is finally over!

I <3 colons Hi editor I’ve been out of uni a long while now, and the workforce is a boring, derelict place that makes me long for the lecture rooms and coffee of Kelburn campus. The ability to have climbed on to the property ladder at 25 does nothing for me compared to the hours spent in the library, writing essays, while construction came at you from all sides.

My one piece of advice for the lack of students reading this—proofread your essays. I never did, and always dropped a grade for that. My lecturers’ commented; I never listened.

Remember: everyone loves a good Oxford comma, learn how to use a semicolon properly (don’t trust Word), and ‘its’ doesn’t always need an apostrophe, but sometimes it does.

I now work as an editor for a school. Fancy that.

Letter of the Week receives two coffee vouchers and a $10 book voucher from Vic Books

Yarn With Zwaan VUWSA President Rick Zwaan Welcome back to the second trimester for those that decided to come back, and for new students, welcome to Victoria!

Over the break some good and bad things happened—the Uni has proposed a model for Uni Council that largely ignores student feedback and could silence genuine student concerns. On the positive, after years of campaigning, the Government finally announced a plan to make our flats slightly warmer.

Democratic elections, not council selection Last trimester we asked you who you wanted to rule the university, and you said that the

Behind Vic House there is this eyesore of a hill that disappointed my Dad greatly when I first opened my curtains to look out upon the city (“What view do you have?” “Ugly ass hill.”

“Shit.”)

My roommate and I hate the people who live on top of the hill. Not for living somewhere fugly, that would be hypocritical seeing as we live in Vic House. It’s because they seem to only party Sundays, Mondays, and Tuesdays. While my roomie and I are dying of bad mistakes from the previous night, the hill losers are only just starting AT EIGHT FUCKING WHY GOD WHY in the morning.

The one night they decide to drink on a Saturday like normal humans, it’s during study week. Which I wouldn’t really hold against them seeing as they don’t live in the halls and they are Big Kids now, expect they decided to scream how much they hate Vic house outside our windows at one in the morning.

“VIC HOUSE SUCKS!” We get it, from the fifty fucking articles in the salient we get it, holy shit let it go. When I went to lean out my window and deliver my roommates message of “SUCK MY MASSIVE DONG!” I knocked over my cactus. The point is, Tom and Luke live on a shitty hill behind Vic House, and they owe me a new cactus.

Sincerely, Shut-the-hell-up-I-was-studying/watchingGame-of-Thrones-and-my-laptop speakers-arereally-crap

University Council (the governing body of the university) should have students and staff on there, with a strong preference for the students being either the VUWSA President or another student elected at large.

The Council has put out a proposal that has a pretty decent composition, with at least two students, two academics, two graduates, and at least five women required to be on Council.

However, it’s proposed that all members of council would be selected by a panel created

by Council, via a nominations process, rather than the current democratic model.

For the Council to be an effective governing body, the students on it need to have credible mandate and ability and connections to bring diverse range of student perspectives to the table. This decision should be made by the collective intelligence of the student body and not by a select few.

Proceeding with the proposal is completely contrary to the vision Victoria as an institution values—trust, integrity, academic freedom, critical inquiry and independence.

Fuck Colin Farrell, marry Critic, hit Pebbles with a shovel Fuck / Marry / Kill: Pebbles Hooper, The Lacklustre New Season of True Detective, or the Editorial Team of Critic Answer carefully if you want me to read this unfit-to-wank-to magazine again Fuck You, James Joyce P.S. if you could publish an expose about why chicken nuggets are so fucking over-priced and expensive i might forgive you your sins xoxo

Salient letters policy Salient welcomes, encourages, and thrives on public debate—be it serious or otherwise— through its letters page. Letters must be received before 4pm on Thursday for publication the following week. Letters must be no longer than 250 words. Pseudonyms are fine, but all letters must include your real name, address and telephone number— these will not be printed. Letters will not be corrected for spelling or grammar. The Editor reserves the right to edit, abridge, ordecline any letters without explanation.

Email: editor@salient.org.nz Post: Salient, c/- Victoria University of Wellington Hand-delivered: Salient office, Level 3, Student Union Building (behind the Hunter Lounge)

Democratic process must be at the heart of a capital city university and its peak body.

VUWSA has launched a campaign to protect our right to vote—head to vuwsa.org.nz/ ourvuw and show your support.

Yay warmer flats On the more positive note, the Government announced last week that they are planning to make it mandatory for rentals to be insulated from 2019. VUWSA has been campaigning for years for minimum rental standards so it’s a fantastic step forward. It will mean that putting a heater on in your flat will be slightly less futile than it currently is.

The proposal could be improved by including other key elements that lead to healthier homes such as heating and ventilation requirements, as well as ensuring the technical parts on the compliance side are strong enough that your landlord will actually do what’s required. VUWSA will be pushing for these improvements over the coming months.

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Stories That Matter Nicola Braid

Call Me Maybe Texan woman Araceli King will receive US$229,500 in legal claims after cable company Time Warner Cable placed 153 automated calls to her cell phone last year.

King was “harassed” with “robo-calls” meant for someone else and was forced to resort to a legal dispute when the company failed to stop their incessant calling. Much like an ex-lover, though, King was really hoping the company would just get over her already, so they could work on being friends again.

Better to be spittin’ beats than spittin’ in the food Website Huzler.com recently fooled the entirety of Facebook with a story about Chicago teenager Tyshaun Granger, who was allegedly fired from his job at McDonald’s for replacing the toys in customers’ happy meals with his mixtape, Tales of a Real N***a. According to the story, the amatuer rapper defended his actions on the basis that his mixtape was “so hot” it would keep the meals warm for hours. Unfortunately, the tale turned out to be a hoax, and the accompanying photo was the mugshot of a teenager fired for selling heroin out of the chain in early 2014.

#cleaneating Bolivian restaurant Gusto has created a quinoabased communion waffle for Pope Francis for his upcoming visit to La Paz. Gusto’s pastry chef Monica Marquez is excited for the papal tasting, exclaiming “we thought we’d just see what would happen. We’re used to experimenting with new recipes”. Plus quinoa is a “superfood” and like sssoooooo good for you #vegan #healthy #fitspo #foodporn #mindbodysoul etc. etc.

Look up this YouTube video A mother and two children were sprayed by tiger urine when the feline became territorial during a visit to a zoo in Nebraska. Now, it would be below us to say they were really pissed off; wee here at Salient are far too good for pee-tty jokes leak that. No no, that would be piddle-ful, wouldn’t it? Slash we can’t be bothered whizz the hole thing.

Carry on baggage

The 20th World Wife-Carrying Competition has been held in Sonkajarvi, Finland, in which 60 couples from 14 different countries participated. The competition’s website claims “intuitive understanding of the signals sent by the partner and becoming one with the partner are essential for both of [the competitors]—sometimes also whippings”. The winner of the competition takes home their wife’s weight in beer, but what of the continuous marital bliss? Priceless.

editor@salient.org.nz

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Beautiful Bodies

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Philip McSweeney

T

his feature, you will notice, deviates from the other articles in this issue and of Salient’s oeuvre—it is a photoessay, of a sort, and should be interpreted as such first and foremost. However, the terrain of bodies, and especially the way they intersect with issues of sexualisation, commodification, shame, self-doubt, make them fraught territory to document. A brief introduction is necessary, and not only because I’m rather partial to bloviating preamble.

My intentions are that these photographs will explore (and hopefully encourage) body positivity by showcasing bodies as they are: no retouching, a shitty lo-fi iPhone, participants both willing and wonderful, shot in poses chosen by them that accentuated either their favourite or least favourite bits ‘n’ bobs. Which is to say: the people in the photos are nekkid. Gather your pearls for clutching accordingly.

The photographs are not intended to be pornographic or arousing, nor vile or inappropriate—like bodies, they just are, and it is my hope that when you affix your conceptions onto these photos you do not denigrate the people involved, or turn the photos into something more salacious than they need be.

Because that’s the thing: bodies aren’t just bodies, they’re complexes waiting to happen.

I can guarantee with 99.9(recurring) per cent accuracy that everyone reading this will be disappointed with their body in some way, shape (ha!), or form. They aren’t just corporeal flesh-prisons that your essential self happens to inhabit. Our biologies have been transformed into both destinies and markers.

are demanded of you from day one, and as media saturate us with unachievable ideals it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And if you’re born intersex? You’re destined to have this identity erased and vivisected from you purely because you don’t conform to a socially established sexual binary.

Is it any wonder that according to one survey only three per cent of people are “happy with their bodies”? That body-image related disorders are both a) on the rise and b) disproportionately affect people who identify as female more than male (Feminism was right again! Coincidence???). That people don’t like talking about the “gross” things that bodies do, like menstruation and defecation and heavy sweating and involuntary expectoration, and that this fear of an “imperfect”, purely biological body is proven to be one of the reason Crohn’s, AUB, and Bowel Cancer go undiagnosed?

Fuck that. Here are bodies, as they are, no fuss or muss, bepubed and wobbly and asymmetrical. They are also absolutely.

Fucking. Gorgeous.

This is in many ways more their article than mine, and I am exceedingly grateful to each of them. I am also thrilled at the diversity of bodies on display; we have varied colour pigments, genitalia and gender, including an AFAB Trans Male.

I would like to explain that this project was published only after the assent of The VUW Women’s Group—especially Chrissy Brown, who went above and beyond the call of duty—and UniQ representatives. I would like to offer my sincerest gratitude to them, as well as to the contributors involved for baring their bods and souls. Without them, this “spread” (sorry) wouldn’t have been possible; if they identify themselves to you, buy them a beer yeah? Deal.

Photography by Philip McSweeney, ur mum, Harriet Robinson.

Concept by Philip McSweeney

Our bodies come with expectations kneaded in, but that doesn’t mean we have to express those demands. We can, quite literally, be more than the sum of our parts without foregoing the love of our bodies. Go well.

Love yourself. Even ur butthole is beautiful.

If you are born with a penis you have the destiny of “masculinity” imprinted on you, your dick becoming a kind of branding.

You’ll need to be emotionally cock-sure, strong, aloof, better. If you’re born with a vulva then you have it even worse; prim femininity and, simultaneously, sex appeal editor@salient.org.nz

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Features

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“Imperfections? I have no imperfections.”

“Fuck, I should’ve landscaped.”

“Loving my body isn’t always easy.

Some days I think it looks great, but sometimes I think I’m bloated or gross, especially just after my period.”

“Being naked seems so normal now, I don’t want to put on my clothes.”

“Thank God it’s cold, my nipples look great.”

“I actually really like my pubes— could we get a close-up of them?”

“This is going to sound weird, right, but the body part I’m most proud of is the back of my upper thigh, just above my knee.”

“This is weird, but I feel so... empowered?

Empowered!”

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“Could we have my bum in shot? I love my bum; I just wish they matched my boobs.”

“It’s not bad that I have shrinkage, is it?

I wish it was warmer.”

“I hate my back. Hate it.”

“I still get backne, it’s dreadful.”

“I’ve always loved my eyes, but I hate my squished nose.”

“Just keep my vag and bumhole out of it.”

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Features

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Features

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“Some days I love to look at myself, in the mirror. I feel proud of who I am, and how my body reflects that.”

“Some days I won’t look at my body in mirrors at all.”

“I know, objectively, that my body image shouldn’t matter, you know, but I can’t help it... I’ve been aware of my body from a young age, and now I wonder if I’ll be alone forever—just because of my body.”

“I think, as a gay man, it makes it harder because I know what I want in a man’s body. When I’m attracted to someone, I think ‘am I jealous of their body or do I want to fuck their body?’ and it’s always both.

So because I’m kind of judgemental if I don’t like something, I assume other gay people are as well and that just makes it worse.”

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“Good Luck”

My Experience With Restorative Justice Anon.

Trigger Warning: This article contains descriptions of sexual assault and may be triggering to some people.

Restorative justice has cropped up more in the news over the past few years. However, the process involved generally follows the same model: “Family holds restorative justice meeting with [murderer/attacker] of [family member].”

When I wanted to talk to someone, I didn’t know who to call—why would I? In New Zealand, one in four females and one in eight males have encountered a form of sexual assault; up until this point I hadn’t encountered anyone who had experienced sexual assault. But now, I was that one in four. I had never fully appreciated how hard it would be to find the information I needed when I had come to terms with what had happened.

I called Victim Support and spoke to the nicest, and most worried man. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop you there,” he stuttered.

“Did you say sexual assault? Would you rather speak to a woman?” I was fine, and he stopped me again on my rambling. “Where are you?” In a room at work. “No, which city?” Wellington. “Well you need to call HELP, they deal with this thing down there.” His final words as I hung up seemed odd—“Good luck”.

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After it took place, it didn’t occur to me to do anything except to text him “Don’t ever speak to me again, seriously what were you thinking?”, but on seeing a girlfriend’s reaction when I shared my experience with her, I realised there may have been other ways to react. She was shocked, angry and upset—more than I had been in the two weeks since it had happened. I didn’t know there was anything I could do, let alone that there were places I could seek help. Was it a crime? I really had no clue. So I made the phone call, and was connected with Wellington Sexual Abuse HELP Foundation (HELP). The woman I spoke to initially was fabulous, but unavailable for the following two to three weeks, as she was supporting another survivor (a term I can’t get used to) in court. This hit home—would I go to court? What were my options? I was overwhelmed by things I never considered I would need to, well, consider.

I was lucky. I am lucky. I have amazing friends who have supported me through this. I had a wonderful boyfriend who I told before we started dating and he supported me through my anger, my crying, my mood swings. I have my older sister whom I told as we drove across the Auckland Harbour Bridge, purely so she couldn’t stop the car. I’ve had amazing flatmates who have shared their stories.

One had been through a court process, and one realised she could have done something about similar incidents that she experienced—these experiences have become too

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common, but our conversations about them are only just starting.

Two of my friends discovered what happened to me in a drunken breakdown of mine, and I had to stop them going to beat him up. “I’m going to kick his fucking face in,” one of them told me. I knew that was not how I wanted justice.

I wanted to be in a room and tell him exactly how his actions had changed me, I wanted to witness him realising that he had destroyed seven months of my life and six years of friendship.

We had a history. I mean, we have a history. What happened doesn’t stop that history existing, it just doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. There was a short time when it meant everything. I’m not sure if people knew about it, but that’s really not the point of my experience.

In writing this I wanted to say you may have a history, you may not. You may read a sign, which may or may not be there. But a person, drunk or sober, asleep in your bed because they trust you and believe in the friendship you hold, is not grounds for any sexual advances on your part without expressed permission. Everyone should be told, just as I told him, no one really wants to wake up to someone else’s hands down their pants when they haven’t been invited there.

My social worker at HELP was phenomenal. We sat, I rambled, spilled about what had happened, and she talked through the avenues available to me. All I knew going in was that I didn’t want my family to know, and that I didn’t want to go to court. Plus, there was him to think about.

While he’d obviously done the wrong thing, what was I to gain in destroying his life?

I didn’t know anything about restorative justice until she laid it out for me. It’s a process to resolve a crime in which the victim and offender come face-to-face in a conference.

The victim can express how the offending has affected them, while holding the offender accountable for their actions.

I started taking my best friend with me to each session after deciding to take the RJ road. He listened, he gave his opinion, he agreed to be my support person in the RJ meeting. He helped me in more ways than I think he’ll ever know.

My boyfriend questioned my choice; as a lawyer I think he felt that going to the police and the courts was the best way for justice, for me to be legally protected. But was this seemingly long, drawn-out process really what I wanted, as a sexual assault survivor? For me, not at all.

From the incident to the meeting, the process took seven months. It affected my work, my social life and my relationships with my family and friends. During weekends I started to drink like I was 18 again. On the day I received the draft letter about to be sent to him, a Wednesday, I drank so much at a work event I couldn’t get out of bed the next morning. I called my manager, crying, saying I wouldn’t be in. I was hungover for the following three days. That was my rock bottom. I decided then that

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I would stop wallowing in self-pity and drinking so much, and do more for my case. I re-worked the letter, it was sent, and he agreed to take part.

The whole RJ process is voluntary. I could have decided to leave the process at any point, or he could have said he didn’t want to be involved from the beginning. The letter inviting him to the meeting signalled that an offender support person would be in touch with him in the next week. Some time later I was told that he had immediately contacted his support person on receiving the letter, expressing he wished to be involved. To put it bluntly, he knew he’d fucked up.

The meeting itself was empowering. We held it in a building I was unlikely to ever step foot in again, with HELP and Project Restore organising everything. When I walked into the room, he was already there—and he sat there, trying to string two words together. His support person sat alongside, encouraging him to speak. I stepped out of the room to allow him time to regain his composure.

Watching him sit there, terrified and speechless, made me feel vindicated. This entire weight had been lifted for me, and I powered through the rest of the meeting.

I read through a list of ways his actions had affected me, and he answered questions I had, including why he had done it. I stopped him as he tried to say it was because “we had a history”. Everyone in the room looked shocked when I told him to stop, and I was asked why I had done that by the mediator—“because I don’t accept that as a valid reason”. We settled on the outcomes of the meeting, certain terms he has to follow for as long as—well, actually I don’t know how long. It’s protection for both of us. He’d taken away our friendship and trust, but I gained my sense of self back by confronting him.

It has now been over 18 months since that meeting took place. Since then I’ve seen him once or twice. The terms of our agreement are simple—he has to avoid me at all costs.

Should he see me in the street, he must cross the road and he should avoid interacting with any of my family. He has to tell me if he’s going out of town for a long period of time, or if he changes jobs—when he changed jobs, I was able to regain access one of my favourite businesses in Wellington that I had been too terrified to approach.

He’s been incredibly receptive to the entire process, which I appreciate.

But all of this doesn’t mean I don’t miss our friendship.

Our history was very complicated, and I miss having him as someone in my life. A certain time on a digital clock will always have me think of him, which leads to thinking about it. I sometimes think about reaching out, telling him I’ve forgiven him, and that I’d like us to be friends again. I don’t know if either of those things are actually true, probably just wishful thinking. And while this isn’t something I want over his head forever, it can’t be changed or forgotten—it’s just always going to be there.

If you have had similar experiences and are looking for help, you can contact HELP on 04 499 7532 or http://www. wellingtonhelp.org.nz/

editor@salient.org.nz

Gussie Larkin nicetrym8.tumblr.com

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Features

salient

The New Zealand football team is ranked seventeenth in the world and will be competing for major trophies by the end of the decade. It’s a young side known for its good technique, and recently beat Brazil. If this sounds unfamiliar, I should clarify that I’m talking about the women’s team.

The Football Ferns recently returned from the World Cup in Canada, where they were unfortunate—“robbed”, as manager Tony Readings put it—to have gone out at the group stage. After a narrow loss to the Netherlands and a draw against the hosts, the Ferns needed to beat China to go

Bend It Like miyama Sam McChesney

through. But thanks to a dodgy penalty for a handball that never was, they could only manage a 2–2 draw.

The tournament itself ended last Monday in an astonishing thrashing, the USA beating Japan 5–2 after going 4–0 up within 16 minutes. When I spoke to Readings before the game, he had picked the USA as likely winners—“my heart would say Japan but my head would say USA”—and praised the Americans’ all-round quality. “There’s not much they can’t do. They’re very athletic, pretty ruthless in the way they play, and they have an excellent coach.”

As you’d perhaps expect, the national powerhouses of the women’s game are a mix of traditional footballing countries and advanced nations with (relatively) high levels of gender equality. According to the Fifa rankings and the Global Gender Gap Index, the primary ranking system for gender equality, eleven of the world’s 20 most equal countries have women’s football teams ranked in the top 20 worldwide— compared to only five with men’s teams in the top 20. A happy upshot is that the women’s game has a more genuinely global feel. Whereas it’s impossible to imagine a men’s team outside Europe or South America winning the World Cup, genuine contenders for the women’s tournament spanned five continents.

Soon, New Zealand hopes to be among them. The Football Ferns earned their first point at a Fifa tournament in 2011, and followed this up with a breakout performance at the London Olympics, where they made the quarter finals.

Since then they have benefited from over $3 million in funding from High Performance Sport New Zealand (HPSNZ), climbing into the top 20 worldwide and earning strong results against a number of top-ranked teams.

However, the side’s failure to qualify from their group casts doubt on their continued funding—a product of ridiculous criteria that place winning above all else. HPSNZ grants

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“The very, very top players in the women’s game earn enough that it’s quite a substantial salary, but for the rest of the world it’s not like that.” are based on the likelihood of medals, which incentivises heavy investment in obscure sports like yachting ($12.4 million between 2013 and 2016), bowls ($1.1m), canoeing ($5.3m) and equestrian ($7.2m)—and leaves truly global sports like basketball ($900k) and football (for the men’s team, nothing) at a constant disadvantage.

New Zealand Football earns about $10.5 million a year, but unlike the HPSNZ funding, none of this is ringfenced for women’s football. If the Ferns’ funding is cut it would be a travesty—here, finally, is a New Zealand football team that can get results at major tournaments, and do so with some style. With all due respect to the plucky All Whites, the football they serve up is shit on a stick.

The funding struggle is one repeated across the world.

Only 15 per cent of Fifa’s annual $900 million football development fund is set aside for women’s football, and the $38 million in public funding the sport receives globally is dwarfed by the men’s game—the Brazilian government, for example, spent $14 billion on last year’s World Cup. The prize money on offer for the women’s world cup totalled $15 million, compared to $358 million for the men’s tournament. Hell, Fifa even spent $30 million on its own vanity film, United Passions, which currently has a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Around the pitches in Canada, the advertising hoardings were plastered with the Gazprom logo, an uncomfortable reminder of the dodgy dealing and venality that has come to define the men’s game. Gazprom, a state-owned Russian oil and gas conglomerate linked to numerous oil spills, was named an official partner for all Fifa tournaments to the end of 2018; undoubtedly a sweetener thrown in following—or, more likely, alongside—Russia’s successful bid for the 2018 World Cup. When Fifa placed third in the 2014 Public Eye Awards—given to the companies with the worst corporate social responsibility records— Gazprom came first.

The men’s game, it is often said, has too much money. Fifa is awash with kickbacks; sheikhs and oil barons pay players multi-million-dollar salaries; transfer fees regularly hit $50 million; and shady agents stir the pot, skimming 10 per cent of every obscene transaction. The buildup to the

tournament was overshadowed, in May, when the long arm of the FBI snatched up 14 Fifa officials in Switzerland on corruption charges.

But according to Readings, the news of the most dramatic day in Fifa history “didn’t really affect us—we were so preoccupied with our own event”. Perhaps, too, the scope of the alleged graft and the mind-boggling figures involved—which would require a far longer article to document—were simply too far removed from the reality for most women footballers.

“Our players don’t earn enough to retire on, they earn enough to get by,” Readings says. “The very, very top players in the women’s game earn enough that it’s quite a substantial salary, but for the rest of the world it’s not like that.” Indeed, only four players in the world earn sixfigure salaries. Dozens of male players can match that in a week. The US women’s league is the wealthiest and most prestigious in the game, but it has now gone bust twice, most recently in 2012.

The financial struggles are an outgrowth of a longerterm, cultural struggle against football’s deeply ingrained sexism—one that goes right back to the sport’s genesis.

The modern game emerged against a backdrop of hypermasculine class warfare between eighteenth-century public schoolmasters (drawn from the rising bourgeoisie and professional classes) and their aristocratic charges.

The boys, in defiance of their socially inferior teachers, would stage periodic rebellions—essentially riots—which were marked by games of traditional folk football that better resembled pitched battles. This sport was chosen specifically for its violent tendencies, an arena for the older students to dominate and brutalise the younger ones in an outgrowth of the so-called “prefect-fagging” system. (A form of traditional football is still played in Italy under the name calcio storico. The matches are little more than mass brawls between over 50 pantaloon-clad participants, and punches to the head, choking, and headbutts are all legal.)

Over the nineteenth century, the schoolmasters managed to codify these ultraviolent games and curb their more editor@salient.org.nz

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barbarous tendencies. Nonetheless, the genesis of football and its various offshoots (rugby, Aussie rules, gridiron) as a rationalised form of violence and domination—and the integration of the sport into the public education system— has served to reinforce an aggressive form of hegemonic masculinity. According to sports scholar Michael Messner, “Sport was a male-created homosocial cultural sphere that provided men with psychological separation from the perceived ‘feminisation’ of society, while also providing dramatic symbolic ‘proof ’ of the natural superiority of men over women.”

If it’s true, as many scholars of psychology and gender have claimed, that aggressive masculinity is a way to compensate for male insecurity, then football has always provided, in its way, a study in the fragility of modern manhood.

The English game in particular has traditionally prided itself upon a certain vision of manly Britannia, heroically resisting the effete sensibilities of its limp-wristed Continental rivals. For decades, English teams set out to batter their opponents beneath a thrusting thunderstorm of thighs and neck muscles, reacting to every new defeat to foreigners—with their fancy tricks like “passing”—by doubling down on its model of high-aggression head tennis.

Following a brief surge in popularity during World War I, when most of Europe’s young men were away and women’s games started drawing crowds of over 50,000, the English FA in 1921 banned women’s football from its grounds (“the game of football is quite unsuitable for females and ought not to be encouraged”), a prohibition it only lifted in 1971. Within Fifa, women have been conspicuous by their absence, and President Sepp Blatter has a made a string of outlandishly sexist statements. In 2004, he called for women footballers to wear “tighter shorts” to

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improve the global appeal of their game. At a 2013 Fifa conference, he endorsed Australian Moya Dodds for a Fifa executive position on the grounds that she was “good and good looking”; and later that same week, he called on the women present to “Say something, ladies! You are always speaking at home, say something now!”

In fairness, the problems go far wider than Sepp, who has personally overseen the first appointments of women to Fifa’s executive committee. In 2014, Blatter admitted that “there’s something very reluctant” in football to accept women in governance. “Football is very macho,” he said. “It’s so difficult to accept [women] in the game … It took more than 100 years for Fifa to elect a woman in the executive committee. It’s not easy to change these attitudes. One day they should make the chair of Fifa a woman and then this will change, I am sure.”

Until then, it seems, we’re stuck with a string of depressing flashpoints. In 2011, two of Sky TV’s highest-profile commentators were sacked after making disparaging remarks about assistant referee Sian Massey. Last year, Portuguese coach Helena Costa was appointed manager of French club Clermont Foot, becoming the first woman to coach a professional men’s side in France. The whole thing quickly turned into a bizarre PR disaster. Costa quit within a month, citing “total amateurism” on the club’s part and all but accusing them of hiring her as a publicity stunt.

At a press conference, club president Claude Michy put it thus: “She’s a woman. They are capable of leading us to believe in certain things.”

Allegations of sexism flared up again in the lead-up to this year’s World Cup. The tournament was to be played exclusively on artificial turf instead of grass—a cheaper option that impairs ball movement and increases the

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risk of injuries. USA star Abby Wambach said “the men would strike playing on artificial turf ”, and over 80 players sued Fifa and the Canada Soccer Association for gender discrimination. Against its own legal advice, the Canadians refused to enter mediation, and the lawsuit collapsed in January after the French, Mexican and Costa Rican associations threatened to suspend the players involved.

According to Readings, “if [the Ferns] had a choice, we definitely would have chosen grass—it’s just a nicer surface to play on, it doesn’t take so much toll on your body, the ball moves quicker.” As for injuries, he says, “we’ve got some players with shin splints for example, and they flare up a lot more on turf. Some players have got niggly backs and when we train on turf regularly it definitely flares those injuries up. But there’s nothing you can do about it … sometimes football’s played on grass, sometimes on turf, and the best teams are still the ones at the business end of the tournament.”

The Puskas award is given out by Fifa every year to the most beautiful goal of the preceding 12 months. In 2014 one of the nominees was Stephanie Roche for a spectacular threetouch finish for Ireland’s Peamount United. Receiving the ball on the edge of the penalty area, with her back to goal and a defender in close attention, Roche flicked the ball up with her first touch. With her second she flicked it back over her shoulder, completely wrong-footing the defender.

Swivelling through 180 degrees, Roche hit it for a third time, straight into the top corner of the net from twenty metres. Not once did the ball touch the ground.

So good was Roche’s goal that no question of tokenism ever arose. Indeed, sharing the stage with names like Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Tim Cahill and Diego Costa, Roche could deservedly call herself a frontrunner for the award. As it was she finished second in the public vote with 33 per cent, sandwiched between two iconic World Cup moments— behind James Rodriguez’s volley against Uruguay, but ahead of Robin Van Persie’s dramatic swandive header against Spain. Had Rodriguez’s goal—surely one of the most overrated of all time—not been the decisive moment of a World Cup knockout match, Roche would most likely have won.

A large proportion of fans disparage women’s football as slower and less exciting than the men’s version. Many of the same people hailed Spain’s string of glacial 1–0 wins at the 2010 World Cup as poetry in motion, and religiously tuned in to watch Wayne Rooney et al. stagger their way toward stodgy 0–0 draws. They would all have missed Karen Carney’s goal against Colombia, a double nutmeg from an acute angle. Nor would they have seen France’s 3–0 demolition of South Korea in the quarter finals, every goal an exhibition of dribbling and one-touch passing. Nor Carli Lloyd’s goal in the final, a ridiculous 60-metre shot that ranks alongside anything David Beckham or Xabi Alonso ever produced.

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The point is, women’s football has arrived, it’s fucking good, and it’s getting better all the time. “You have some outstanding individual players like you do in the men’s game,” Readings says, picking out Japan’s Aya Miyama and USA’s Alex Morgan as the sport’s Messi and Ronaldo. “Across the board, the technical ability of the players is a pleasure to watch, the pace of the game has definitely increased massively. Most people I know who have given it a go are really surprised by how far the game has moved forward.”

As well as surprising a large number of fans with the quality of its play, Readings believes the women’s game is also starting to convert neutrals put off the men’s version by the amount of diving, injury faking, time-wasting and arguing with the referee—features (almost) absent from the women’s game.

To many, the World Cup—watched by an estimated 400 million—has provided a welcome tonic to football’s usual cacophony of bling. For one thing, the players are simply more interesting and human; whether they’re sticking it to Fifa, or speaking openly about their struggles with mental illness and loss, they’re a stark contrast to the dull, cliché-spouting men. Readings, too, hints that the women’s game provides a different kind of role model.

He notes that many male players are motivated by “extrinsic rewards, like fame and salary”, but that these rewards aren’t really on the table for women. Instead, female players rely on intrinsic rewards: “to be the best you can be, to be part of growing the game in your country and globally”.

Everyone involved in the sport is optimistic about its future. “What this tournament’s shown is how far women’s football has come,” Readings says. “It’s grown massively. There’s an improvement in everything from coaching, the players, the speed that the game’s played, the marketing—everything around it has grown so much. It will have created a lot of new fans and people will take the game a lot more seriously.”

Over half of all school-aged girls in New Zealand play football in some form, and the number of registered players, though still lagging behind netball, is increasing rapidly. With an average age of just 23, the current crop of Football Ferns will be peaking just in time for the 2019 World Cup and 2020 Olympics. The team is on the cusp of establishing itself as a heavyweight in one of the world’s fastest-growing sports—if it can retain its funding.

“We want to be beating the likes of USA, Germany, England, Japan and Canada,” Reading says. “We want to be competing right at the latter stages of these tournaments and competing for the titles themselves. [In terms of resources] we’ve got far more than we’ve ever had before, but we’re still quite far adrift of these other teams.”

editor@salient.org.nz

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salient

The Problem With #healthspo Sharon Lam

If Instagram were your only source of information about society today, you would see a healthy lifestyle as a combination of chia seeds, yoga, kale, and the oversaturated photo documentation of all three. An Instagram search of #healthychoices brings up over seven million posts of girls in sports bras and plates of salad.

Yes, okay, it’s easy to use social media to highlight almost any issue, but it is undeniable that the Western consumer today faces more dietary choices than ever—compounded by the superfood and organic food movements, the perception of what is “good” and what is “bad” food is continually evolving. It is no surprise, then, that neurotic relationships with food are on the rise and even healthy eating can become unhealthy.

First termed in 1997 by Dr Steven Bratman, orthorexia nervosa, or the “fixation of righteous eating” had until then been grouped into the family of “Ednos”—eating disorders not otherwise recognised. Orthorexia involves the excessive preoccupation on only consuming foods that are believed to be pure and healthy—a fixation upon the quality of food rather than quantity, as is the case with anorexia and bulimia. This involves highly restrictive dietary rules, with The Guardian reporting an exclusion of “sugar, salt, caffeine, alcohol, wheat, gluten, yeast, soy, corn and dairy”. While orthorexia has since been on the rise both in observed cases and media attention, it is still a largely under-researched eating disorder and the www.salient.org.nz

line between orthorexia and just dietary lifestyle remains difficult to pinpoint.

To help this, Bratman developed a self-test to help determine cases of orthorexia, with questions such as “Do you spend more than three hours a day thinking about healthy food?”, “Are you already planning tomorrow’s healthy menu today?”, “Is the nutritional value of your meal more important than the pleasure of eating it?”, and “Do you feel an increased sense of self-esteem when you are eating ‘right’ and look down on others whose diets are not, in your eyes, healthy?”. It is perhaps the last question that is most relevant to today—hashtags on social media and specially packaged products at supermarkets let one easily become part of a “club”, and enjoy the welcoming feelings of superiority that come with it.

There are two main issues I find with #healthspo/#healthiswealth/#healthyfood movements in regards to orthorexia. First is its dominant presence in mass media, and the widespread exposure of these diets leading to orthorexic tendencies. Second is the credibility of the diets themselves.

Those who adopt a restrictive eating diet (paleo, raw, Zone) can find support everywhere. There are magazines to buy, pages to like, blogs to follow, hashtags to join in on. The overlap between people on these diets and the users of such networks is huge—after all, what’s the point

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in eating raw if you don’t let everybody else know? This means that exposure of these lifestyles extends far beyond those circles, enticing new recruits. With large obsessivecompulsive elements to orthorexia, the use of food as a control mechanism is now oh-so accessible with cutely named blogs like PaleOMG and Rawvana. The images and language used by such blogs are all incredibly positive and motivational, even sickeningly so. Carefully selected articles are shared by the blogs, and of course, only recipes with photos that have good daylighting shot directly from above.

“natural”, “raw”, “organic” or “ancient”, and instantly feel good about yourself. It is the false advertising that needs to change. Much of the consumption of these foods has less to do with health itself, but the sense of superiority that comes from deviating from the status quo of fast food chains.

“Someone whose days are filled with eating tofu and quinoa biscuits can feel as saintly as if they had devoted their whole life to helping the homeless,”says Bratman. Soon, perhaps, even quinoa may become too mainstream—the South American farmers, I’m sure, are hoping so.

The combination of a sickly feel-good ethos and prettylooking food means that for the impressionable, it can be very easy to get sucked in and to stay in. The more popular such diets become, and the trendier they are perceived to be, the more people will change their diets, and the more likely someone susceptible to obsessivecompulsive tendencies may develop orthorexia through what was initially a fad diet.

The most disturbing side of orthorexia I encountered was a small group that proudly calls itself orthorexic.

There is indeed a fine line between so-called healthy eating and orthorexia nervosa. Orthorexia, however, is an eating disorder—it involves a mentally self-punishing relationship with food and is therefore automatically unhealthy. Food becomes both the source and resolver of anxiety, the only means to self-esteem, an obsessive fixation in general that can lead to isolation and both mental and physical distress. Hence the uncomfortable sight of people using orthorexic as a trendy term—an unhealthy and obsessive relationship with food should not be celebrated or promoted.

The second issue is that much of what is being marketed, “liked” and “shared” as “healthy” rarely has the scientific backing behind the hype. It is incredibly easy to pass something off as healthy. For example, “moldy bread is actually good for you because the bacteria in the mould acts in symbiosis with the naturally occurring microflora in your stomach, letting you both absorb more nutrients from your bread and aid digestion.” Add a photo of a smiling young person eating a slice of attractively-filtered moldy bread, throw in some words like “researchers” and “science”, add at least one thousand likes, and a lot of people will probably buy it.

This isn’t too far from the truth with three popular hypes—coconut oil, gluten-free diets, and quinoa. The Dietitians Association of Australia state that there is no evidence to choose coconut oil over plant oils, and that such a switch may even increase the risk of coronary heart disease. My coeliac friends scorn those who willingly become gluten-free despite no medical recommendations whatsoever to do so, and by buying quinoa you are supporting a trade that has marked up prices so high that poor South American farmers can no longer afford what used to be a staple of their diets.

Of course, you can’t be an expert on every ingredient you eat, and it is just too easy to buy the product labeled

To salad-wrap up, the emerging trends in “healthy” hashtags and their popularity is part of the latest trend in society’s fascination with private bodies and what we put in them. There was Atkins, there was grapefruit, and now there’s about twenty different diets going on at once. The fad diets of yesteryear had even less scientific credibility than those of today—but the difference is that now they have the platforms to promote and involve like never before. The messages we get each day about diet and health are becoming more and more complicated, making it harder to simply enjoy food as food, as a sensory pleasure.

Guilt, shame and superiority should not be linked with food, and the seriousness of eating disorders like orthorexia nervosa should alert people to, well, chill out. If healthy eating means disruptions to your everyday life and your means of enjoying food—for what? an extra year of wrinkled living, at best?—then is it really worth it? It’s time to stop pretending that kale tastes good—if you’re not eating KFC four times a week then you’re probably fine.

editor@salient.org.nz

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Charlie Prout

Reclaiming Disability

issue 14

Society is beginning to see that there is not one way to have a body.

Diverse bodies are coming more and more to society’s attention.

Transgender rights, fat acceptance groups, and disability awareness are all gaining traction. But what is it like to have a body that is perceived by society to be unattractive?

My partner, Lucy, is a femme, queer, disabled woman. She was born at only 29 weeks gestation, and suffered brain damage after birth. This brain damage caused Lucy to develop a form of cerebral palsy known as spastic diplegia. She has limited mobility and contends with constant pain. As well as this, she has undergone many surgeries to allow her to walk. One of her legs is weaker than the other, causing her to limp and only be able to walk short distances, and she suffers muscle spasms. There is a constant struggle for people like Lucy who are impaired in ways that are not always obvious. When sitting down, she does not look impaired to the untrained eye. She has been told by bus drivers that she does not “look disabled” and has been accosted by elderly women who have told her the disabled seats on buses are for the elderly. She walks a fine line between embracing her identity as a disabled woman while wanting her body to be seen as normal and beautiful. Lucy explains, “I want to change the way that people with disabilities are seen—we are just as diverse and beautiful as the non-disabled population.”

This is further hampered by the way that the media treats disabled people. Disabled bodies are seldom shown in the media outside of representations that are medical, derogatory, or “inspiration porn”. Further, even when disabled people are portrayed on television or the big screen, the characters are predominantly played by able-bodied actors. “I feel like it would so liberating to have more disabled role models. I feel like we can’t be what we can’t see, and it would be incredibly empowering for a lot of people in the disabled community.”

This page is for your submissions!

If you’d like to write something for next week’s issue—the Mind Issue— write up a quick overview and email it to editor@ salient.org.nz by noon on Tuesday. The final piece should be around 500-800 words, and will be due noon on Thursday.

There are many ways that disabled people are starting to take back their bodies and embrace their diversity. Disabled people are able to reclaim their bodies through the use of body projects.

Body projects reflect the idea that bodies are constantly changing and evolving through one’s life—as people we are able to create our bodies with things such as make up, piercings and tattoos. Lucy explains the impact of being able to take back her body has on her feelings towards her body—“I love to do my hair and makeup, and put together different outfits that I like. I want to take back ownership of my body and present myself in ways that I think are beautiful.”

Disabled people do not want to be defined by their disabilities. They want to be seen as beautiful, but they need people to help lessen the effects of their impairment. They do not need pity—they need representation. editor@salient.org.nz

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Music

Wildheart (Deluxe Version) Miguel

Kate Dowdle

After a three-year hiatus, Miguel is back and ready to reshape how we understand 21st-century R&B. Wildheart is a truly beautiful album. The track list is diverse, and contains everything from songs of seduction right through to intensely romantic numbers, as well as songs that relate to almost unexpected elements of the human experience (something that is especially commendable coming from a still emerging artist). Crushed dreams, loneliness, heartbreak—you name it, he’s probably written about it. This diversity means that Wildheart is not full of hit songs that everyone will love, but you get the sense that this won’t worry Miguel at all. As he sings in “a beautiful exit”, “Don’t ever sell yourself short, sell your sad things, accept the new, don’t mingle on the past, believe in yourself, trust your intuition, you are here for a reason.”

It’s a refreshing listen, and is mastered to engage well through headphones. If you have listened to Miguel before, you will know that his music doesn’t fit into a typical genre, but Wildheart combines soulful R&B with alternative elements, and a funky electronic influence that carries throughout. It really is a game-changer for R&B—a genre that has been struggling to move past its dated heroes of the early 2000s.

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“Coffee” is a great track that you should listen to right now if you haven’t already. It is somehow unique and distinctive, with juddered vocals and building and crashing tempos, but still remains classically soulful. “face the sun” with Lenny Kravitz is such a good love song, with beautiful lyrics and vocals that pull on your heartstrings and keep you engaged. In terms of songs about pretty intense love, “damned”, “...goingtohell” and “waves” are all great and all relatively different. “what’s normal anyway” is a moving song about identifying yourself and being yourself. With Miguel’s refined vocal, great lyrics, and a restrained track, the song is able to speak for itself. “Hollywood Dreams” and “destinado a morir” are similar in this way and great as a result.

Before listening to this album, I was expecting something pretty honest after watching a few interviews with Miguel.

But what I wasn’t expecting was something so vulnerable, diverse, and completely unique. If I haven’t convinced you, I would definitely recommend finding Miguel’s Spotify sessions—it gives both great music and a little insight into the workings of Miguel.

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In Case You Missed It: The Mid-Year Break Edition Kate Robertson If you were lucky enough to head back to your sleepy hometown over the break— where Mum still uses a fax machine and Dad is totally not down to binge on Orange Is the New Black with you—then chances are you would’ve missed a few of these absolute gems in the time since we last met. You can thank me later for bringing you back to 2015.

Seven Music Moments

1.

2.

3.

Five Albums 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Leftfield—Alternative Light Source Sharon Van Etten—I Don’t Want To Let You Down Tonight SOAK—Before We Forgot How To Dream Jamie xx—In Colour Wolf Alice—My Love Is Cool

Three Songs 1.

2.

3.

Jamie xx—“Gosh” Chet Faker—“Bend” Leon Bridges—“Coming Home”

One Kanye-ism Kanye declared himself the “greatest living rock star on the planet” in front of a Glastonbury crowd that didn’t even want him there, and just one night before some of Britain’s most cherished rock heroes, The Who, were to headline the exact same stage.

Stay humble Kanye, stay humble.

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4.

5.

6.

7.

Foals released “What Went Down”, the title track of their forthcoming album of same name. It’s the kind of rock song that will revolutionise and epitomises everything that rock music is heading towards. If you haven’t treated your ears to it yet, stop everything and YouTube this shit ASAP. It will debilitate you in the best way possible.

Rihanna created what might just be the world’s most terrifying music video for her already twisted AF song “Bitch Better Have My Money”. With an excessive amount of violence, nudity and blood, it was always going to be a success, but never did people expect so much bang for their buck. Coming in at just over seven minutes, it might seem like a bit of a commitment, but the time will fly by and leave you wondering what on exactly you just watched. A work of art or bad taste? The jury’s definitely still out on this one.

Beck treated the world to a new tune titled “Dreams”. Where his last album Morning Phase was a perfect storm of laidback folkie tunes, this new one looks set to see the cute-as-a-button bohemian exploring the thus far unexplored realm of soulful, groovy dance-rock. No further info on the album has been released.

Red-hot electronica duo ODESZA announced their first ever Wellington show. They’ll be playing at San Fran on 24 September and you should definitely be there. With that being said, tickets are $60 so you should probably start saving now.

Glastonbury happened, with Florence and The Machine and Jamie xx being the clear standouts. If you’re at a loss for how to spend your first week of uni before the assignments kick in, an entire day can easily be lost burying yourself in the festival’s highlights reel.

The Libertines announced their first album in over a decade! Like OMG WTH this is too much. Thus far all we know is that the album will be titled Anthems For Doomed Youth, that it is a “her”, and that she will be released on 4 September. If the title track “Gunga Din” is anything to base predictions on then this record is set to be an absolute banger.

Finally, Apple Music launched, and despite a number of flaws that will undoubtedly be ironed out in the coming months, it’s pretty fucking brilliant. Kiwi ex-pat Zane Lowe fronts their flagship station Beats1, and if you’re not out of bed to listen to him live, he posts his daily playlist for you to revisit whenever you fancy.

Deny it all you want, but you only have to look around a packed out lecture in KK303 to see that we’re all a bunch of Apple sluts at heart. So uninstall that peasant Spotify app and jump on the Apple Music bandwagon, because God forbid any of us let someone from a less sophisticated urban centre beat us to the “next big thing”.

editor@salient.org.nz

issue 14

37

The NSA Owns Skynet Gus Mitchell The NSA has revealed that one of its terrorist identification programs is named Skynet, possibly as a marketing stunt for Terminator: Genisys. (Seriously, what is with that title?

Did your spellchecker say “I’ll be back” and never return?)

In the Terminator films, Skynet is a “synthetic intelligence” that becomes self-aware and rebels against its masters in the name of world safety, by killing all humans. In our world, according to documents leaked to The Intercept by Edward Snowden, Skynet is a “cloud analytics program that analyses call records to gather metadata”. In English, this means it detects and records the whereabouts and durations of phone calls, which the NSA uses to determine the travel and communication habits of people suspected to be terrorists or having ties to terrorist organisations.

For instance, Skynet records data on citizens within Pakistan from their cellphone records, and the compiled metadata from the NSA when those movements matched the activities of known Al Qaeda couriers. The movements Skynet tracks include recording arrival times, travel patterns and the frequency with which SIM cards and handsets are swapped or discarded to avoid detection.

Metadata-collecting programs like Skynet have been extremely beneficial to the War on Terror and the Obama administration, though the extent of their success has not been

fully declassified. Recently, Skynet flagged Ahmad Muaffaq Zaidan, a Islamabad-based journalist working for Al Jazeera. Zaidan has conducted numerous interviews with terrorists in the region, including Osama bin Laden himself.

Because of these ties, Zaidan was suspected of being a terrorist himself. Zaidan has denied any claims to connections with terrorists beyond a purely journalistic enterprise, saying, “for us to be able to inform the world, we have to be able to freely contact relevant figures in the public discourse, speak with people on the ground, and gather critical information. Any hint of government surveillance that hinders this process is a violation of press freedom and harms the public’s right to know.”

Edward Snowden’s leak of documents revealing the extent to which the NSA can spy on citizens, both within the US and abroad, has started a conversation on government surveillance and the fundamental right to privacy.

In a recent AMA on Reddit, Edward Snowden responded that the best thing to do to help get people on the side of the issue is to correct any misinformation about surveillance programs.

“Supporters of mass surveillance say it keeps us safe,” wrote Snowden. “The problem is that that’s an allegation, not a fact, and there’s no evidence at all to support the claim.”

“In fact, a White House review with unrestricted access to classified information found that not only is mass surveillance illegal, it has never made a concrete difference in even one terrorism investigation.”

From the side of those in power, it’s a matter of how national security must keep in step with the rapid advance of technology. After the Obama administration attempted to persuade Silicon Valley companies to put “backdoors” in their security programmes and encryptions, ensuring that the government had access to their servers at all times, a group of Silicon Valley company heads and bipartisan lawmakers put together the Secure Data Act, which intends to make this practice illegal. An ongoing criticism with the incumbent US administration is that it seems to be against robust data security, but President Obama believes it is justified.

“If we get into a situation in which the technologies do not allow us at all to track somebody that we’re confident is a terrorist, that’s a problem.”

Hutt International Boys’ School Building men of character since 1991

An invitation to HIBS Old Boys and all those with association to the school to come and join us at our 25th Jubilee celebrations this Labour weekend 23 to 25 October 2015.

To register or find out more information, visit our website www.hibs.school.nz/jubilee editor@salient.org.nz

38

Books

Sport 43 Jayne Mulligan

salient

as a writer. Sport lends itself to this approach, as it moves between authors and modes in no distinct method or, I suppose, a method not obvious to the reader. I found a similar approach emerged as I peeled through the pages—stopping over names I felt I might have heard, or liked the cadence of; finding words that grabbed me, and ideas that enticed me.

Kirsten McDougall’s non-fiction piece, as Barrowman identifies, feels very much like fiction. Her prowess as a poet lends itself to alleviating non-fiction of the weight of true-to-life. McDougall remembers a fling from a Wanaka winter when she was 21. Nino was a European traveller, who was very much unlike anyone she had met before, and she never saw again. Thanks to the internet, McDougall’s story finds a place of nostalgia, and nestled closely is an insistent sense of regret; her story reminds the reader of the profound depth youth can reach.

Ashleigh Young’s short story takes a domestic nuance, and draws out infectious dramatic tension. It is particularly pertinent for those who share their lives, both with a person, and also creation. Young’s control over the words conjures a hand that breaks from the page, grabs you by the scruff, and pulls you, willingly, into the story. She balances her gears perfectly, as though waiting for a hill start; a melancholic need to be alone, to create, is found in the same stroke as the delight of being in love.

Conceived during a drive home after a night out, Fergus Barrowman announced to his audience of Elizabeth Knox and Damien Wilkins (his then sober driver) as they rounded the Basin Reserve, that he wanted to do a literary magazine—and the name would be Sport.

1988 seemed to be the right time—the literary scene was slowing down, Landfall was in a slump, other literary journals had a lifespan of four or five issues, and in Barrowman’s fourth year at Victoria University Press a change was in the air for the literary scene. The sole aim was to provide writers, in particular emergent ones, with a platform. Barrowman recalls the first issue featured “Barbara Anderson, Jenny Bornholdt, Anne Kennedy, Elizabeth Knox and Damien Wilkins [who] were all just before or after their first books; they look like the establishment now”. Their categories have expanded—they once eschewed poetry, seeking a more serious or pure publication, Wilkins referring to Granta as their initial model. They have since seen a light of sorts, and allowed poets back in the game.

Currently in its 43rd edition, it has moved from twice-yearly to annual publications. While publications have slowed as life interfered, the collection has never strayed from their ethos of good new writing, each issue a mutually enjoyable phenomenon for writers and readers alike. For Barrowman this issue particularly lends itself to poetry; “the poetry is fantastic, and very diverse. I kind of wish now I’d put all the poetry together so that was even clearer. And I like the way the essays often feel like fiction, and vice versa. Story-telling and hard thinking are alive in both genres.”

In the introduction to Sporting Moments, Wilkins reflects on his own reading approach to Sport—that which focused only on what appealed to his current engagement—a condition, he says, of reading www.salient.org.nz

Faith Wilson’s poems show the diverse range of her pen; from a deeply sensual and emotive poem of love and youth, you see her words evoke an ocean of emotion. Her words are vulnerable and learning; the scenes and emotions are utterly familiar. In her other poems a voice of our generation, of her heritage, of this place, and of strength, emerges as her language stops you in her tracks. Her brother, a barista at Vic Books, in a puerile comment, told me she writes about sleeping with a guy in their parents’ bed.

And Maria McMillan, in another stroke of strength, writes a listicle essay charting the currents of females in New Zealand Literature, and their subjugation. In an interesting format, which lets analysis take on a more creative mode, she aptly draws out the complexities of female, and is simultaneously daunted by the complexities, and repulsed by simplifications. Her response to Yvonne Todd’s exhibition Creamy Psychology particularly stands out, as it turns the exhibition into a cautionary tale of the standards of female beauty.

Sarah Jane Barnett’s long form poetry takes on a fresh and important new voice—an Ethiopian migrant settling in New Zealand.

Through research and interviews, Barnett is able to offer insight to a community of New Zealand whose voice is negotiating its footing.

Her masterful ability to tell a story through poetry is exercised here once again.

The collection also features work from recently published authors such as Chris Tse, Morgan Bach, James Brown, Tim Upperton, David Coventry, a very well considered and important essay by Giovanni Tiso—and the list simply continues, in a wonderful display of our creative capital.

The collection is named Sport, Barrowman tells me, as a joke—a direct reference to the cultural divide that severs our country. It is with completely appropriate irony that I write this while I pretend to watch the Hurricanes be destroyed by the Highlanders. “See? You just can’t help getting swept up into it all… SPORT!” my flatmate proclaims, misreading my polite feigned interest as genuine. Because at the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, we’re all in this together, and we really gave it our all.

issue 14

Games

Batman: Arkham Knight Developed by Rocksteady Studios, Published by Warner Bros.

PS4, Xbox One

Baz Macdonald

Batman: Arkham Knight is the final installment in developer Rocksteady Studios’ trilogy of Batman games. These games have consistently been a cut above your average third-person action title, but Arkham Knight takes it to a whole new level. This is an experience so thoroughly conceived and meticulously executed that it easily stands within the highest echelon of video games. It is, simply put, a masterpiece of digital storytelling.

The story itself is a large part of what makes Batman: Arkham Knight so sublime. There are few video games, or even movies, that spin as epic a tale as Rocksteady has with this game. The premise involves Scarecrow and a new villain, the Arkham Knight, taking over Gotham City. But any more than that quickly falls into spoiler territory. What I can tell you is that not since Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight has this universe been explored with such skill. The psychology, pathos and tension of not only the main story, but also the many side stories, are beautifully varied, superbly conceived and consistently gripping.

Batman: Arkham Knight’s pace is spot on—something that no openworld game has ever achieved quite this well. Quite often games that allow you to explore and engage with story content at your own speed have terrible pacing issues as a result. But Arkham Knight, instead of dumping all of the content on you, feeds you missions and side quests throughout, which not only keeps the game varied but also maintains the urgency of the main story while still making side content feel organic to the situation.

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puzzles, murders and crime scenes. Yet with all these different mechanics, everything is handled with the same incredibly meticulous level of detail. The animations, transitions and gameplay all look and feel so good. Impressively, within this massive array of different gameplay mechanics, is a remarkable level of variation in challenge and approach. Throughout the 40 or so hours it takes to complete all of Arkham Knight’s content, the experience and challenge consistently builds and evolves, keeping the game enthralling from start to finish.

All of the mechanics that we have come to know and love from past installments are back, but as with every aspect of the game, Rocksteady has refined and innovated to make them even more rewarding. For example, Rocksteady’s patented hand-to-hand combat—which since Arkham Asylum has spread throughout the gaming industry—has somehow been made even better. This is partly down to variation through new enemy types and gadgets. However, more subtly, the experience has been tightened up. The timing and animations run together in a way that makes you look and feel supremely badass, even if you’re just button mashing. The same treatment has also been given to the stealth, flying, and puzzles mechanics that have become staples of the series.

The inclusion of the Batmobile also introduces several new mechanics. The first is, as you would expect, driving. Getting around Gotham in the Batmobile is fast, smooth and very easy. It quickly becomes a companion to flying around the map, with neither taking precedence but both offering variety. The game also includes many opportunities to race; though this is pretty standard fare, it’s pretty awesome when you’re driving upside down on the ceiling of a tunnel.

The other aspect of the Batmobile’s gameplay mechanics is Battle Mode, in which the car transforms into a tank and battles unmanned drones. While there is definitely an argument to be had over how well this fits tonally and narratively within the Batman universe, I loved this mechanic and quickly became drawn to the missions and challenges in which you have to take down copious hordes of drones.

But regardless of whether you love it or hate it, there is no denying that it’s executed just as superbly as every other aspect of the game.

Batman: Arkham Knight is a creative and technical feat. The storytelling has to be experienced to be believed and is supported by gameplay with more depth, variation and polish than has ever been seen in this genre before. This game is easily a 5 out of 5 experience.

This article, along with a video review, was first published on thewireless. co.nz.

The storytelling is supported by the skill with which the gameplay is handled. In Arkham Knight, you get to fight, drive, fly, and solve editor@salient.org.nz

DEM OCR ATIC

ELE CTI ON

NOT

CO UN CIL

SEL ECT ION The University Council has ignored your preference for elections and is proposing to hand pick student representatives.

We need independent reps who have strong connections to the student body to be our voice at the top level of the university.

To protect your right to vote, head to www.vuwsa.org.nz/ourvuw Show your support at the following forums: Sh Kelburn Mon 20th July 1:00pm SU217 Pipitea Wed 22nd July 12:30pm RWW125 Te Aro Wed 22nd July 2:30pm VS221

issue 14

Food

Review - Flavours Indian Restaurant, Karori

Fashion

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White Sandal Girl

Hannah Douglass

Jess Scott

I think it’s actually been over a year since I was last in Karori— there just hasn’t been any reason to go there. So when the man suggested an Indian restaurant in Karori I thought, “can’t we just go somewhere in town?” We were, after all, already in town. But apparently not. He said to trust him, it would be worth it.

After a fairly unsuccessful semester studying fashion design at Massey—involving a surprising amount of sewing plastic, cotton wool and papier mâché together—I have now returned to Vic.

We pulled up to Marsden Village and went into the restaurant.

It was a chilly and miserable Saturday night, so the fireplace in the middle of the dining area was a welcome comfort, even if the warmth didn’t quite reach our table. The restaurant itself didn’t look like anything particularly special, but when we ran into a couple of friends there who live in Miramar and had made the trip to Karori just for dinner, I decided to give it a chance.

The menu offers a great range of choices, including both the usual suspects (butter chicken, korma, tikka masala etc.) and quite a few more interesting options. I ordered a chicken madras with medium spice, and the man ordered his all time favourite (and the entire reason he wanted to go all the way to Karori to get it) murgh saag, also medium.

Just before our entree of onion bhaji arrived (which, by the way, is big enough to share between two hungry people), the waitress gave us each a hot towel to clean our hands with. Although it did feel weird because we weren’t on a plane (I think the waitress noticed my confusion too), it is actually a brilliant idea for a cuisine often eaten with your hands. I loved it.

Having experienced the wildly disparate student populations of the two universities, I now regard myself as quite the seasoned cultural anthropologist. Despite glaring differences (no one at Massey would be seen dead in the leggings + hoodie combination so regularly observed shuffling through the Hub, or the baffling puffer jacket + jandal ensemble), I found the common denominator to be the ubiquitous White Sandal Girl.

I have conducted close observation of this subculture in its varying natural habitats (instead of a TV, my flat has a window looking directly into The Cube. I wish I was joking) to the extent of actual immersion (I spent my first year leading a rather displaced existence at Te Puni*).

Despite never having previously encountered the term, everyone I mention it to is immediately able to identify *those* girls.

However, for the less enlightened amongst us, the White Sandal Girl is characterised by her uniform striped shirt, abundance of casual sportswear, excessive incorporation of the KW Runaway Girl logo, and of course, the definitive White Sandals.

The food was delicious. The chicken pieces were more tender than I’ve had in a long time, and the dishes were full of flavour and oomph. Most excitingly, the menu is really reasonably priced.

For an entree, two mains, two naan breads (one of which was filled with chicken), and two mango lassi, it cost us around $40.

Typical behavioural traits of the White Sandal Girl include instagramming Wednesday night two-for-one cocktails at Library and snapping #fitspo selfies at the top of Mount Vic, complete with enough brand placement for a Nike commercial.

They tend to travel in packs, dressed with such uncanny similarity one is led to question whether they actually preorganise a group ensemble before leaving the house.

As much as I’m loathe to admit it, the man was right. Well worth the trip to the other side of town for. I’m already looking forward to the next time I go there, so I can try more of the menu. There’s nothing on the menu I wouldn’t try.

From my extensive field research, I am able to conclude that White Sandal Girls of the design school persuasion do not fundamentally differ from BCom White Sandal Girls, aside from lacking a Vic Books takeaway coffee cup in hand.

Flavours also offer a takeaway menu, so you don’t have to limit yourself to days when you want to go out for dinner properly.

*Disclaimer: resulting from this mass exposure, I have been so deeply affected by the White Sandal phenomenon that I now exclusively wear Black Platforms.

editor@salient.org.nz

Film

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Gemma Bovery Directed by Anne Fontain (have half a star for trying, Fontaine) Sarah Dillon

During this film, baker and all-round creepy guy Martin Joubert (Fabrice Luchini) classes Gustave Flaubert’s original novel, Madame Bovary, as “a mundane story told by a genius”. I’m not sure, then, what the rationale behind director Anne Fontaine trying to retell the same story with a contemporary filmic twist is, unless she counts herself a genius—a notion which this humble reviewer would certainly contest. Fontaine notes in an interview that the French word bovarysme refers to never being satisfied, hoping for something that never arrives. I don’t think she meant it in a self-referential way, but bovarysme is clearly and unfortunately the perfect term to describe her film.

In 1999, there were apparently things going on aside from the girls trying to pull off Christmas in SpiceWorld without Geri. Posy Simmonds’ graphic novel, Gemma Bovery, had been published in serial form in The Guardian, and was released in full in book form. By all accounts, it’s meant to be pretty neat: neither just a contemporary adaptation nor a satire, but a semi-independent stab at bringing Flaubert’s tale to the masses.

Fastforward to 2014, and director Anne Fontaine attempts to bring the graphic novel to the big screen. There’s an issue, right away.

It seems to me that if you’re going to adapt a graphic novel into film format there should be a particular rationale for doing so— something that the moving image can bring to the story. Take Sin City or Persepolis, both of which embrace their graphic novel roots to www.salient.org.nz

salient

bring a unique style and substance to the big screen. Gemma Bovery, though, doesn’t make the grade on either count.

Let’s take style, to start with. It’s pretty enough. The kind of French country cottages that are every over-50 expat Kiwi’s wet dream.

Um… the costumes are nice? Grasping at straws here. Although there are some playful elements in the script (including a weird Call of Duty reference), the film’s structure lends itself to lazy voiceover storytelling. The actors are doing about as well as they can when reduced to these kinds of archetypes. The soundtrack is twee.

The cinematography is nothing to write home about. Dear Anne Fontaine: Jean Renoir tried to make a Madame Bovary film in the 1930s, and if he couldn’t nail it, you should have left it well alone.

The content of the film seems, again, like a fairly thoughtless process.

Given Fontaine’s track record, it seems she’s into making films about the sex, hence Bovery’s appeal. But she hasn’t considered the ins and outs of adaptation. Flaubert’s Bovary was trapped in her marriage, but why doesn’t Gemma just leave? It’s 2014. This is not the way this story needs to be told. The whole premise here is that Gemma moves to the French countryside with her husband and has a bunch of affairs—not exactly difficult to make progressive.

Perhaps this was, though, my mistake—the rookie error of presuming a film by a female director will be a feminist text. Gemma Bovery does this weird thing where Bovery’s creepy neighbour (Luchini) gets off on watching her every move and trying to stop her having affairs with other men: ergo, giving the man the storytelling role and all the agency. In case I’m not being clear enough, this film is like being shoved face first into a male-gaze vacuum. There’s a bonus bit of body shaming, a steamy kitchen scene (think a creepy-as-fuck, not Nigella, kind of way), and a character whose entire purpose is to pressure Gemma into an affair.

Here’s the thing: it could have worked, with the satirical twist of the graphic novel, or by giving the protagonist some power over her sexuality, or even just as another a glossy rom-com, but the film is so damn frothy it’s just bizarre. It might work for some bored housewife demographic (the ones who weren’t brave enough to go see Fifty Shades and be done with it), but I’m certain that if Gemma Bovery had had to watch this film, she would have stabbed herself with a blunt knife instead of choking on a piece of bread.

issue 14

Film

David Bowie Is Directed by Hamish Hamilton, Katy Mullan

Kari Schmidt

David Bowie Is follows the David Bowie exhibition at London’s Victoria & Albert museum, which claims to be an institution centred around creativity, art and performance, “intended to inspire others”. Having been to the V&A, I find this attempt to be relevant somewhat absurd—while the museum has a lot of wonderful works, it is very traditional to the point of being stuffy. Perhaps I should consider their attempts to include a greater variety of exhibitions on contemporary artists as laudable, but I can’t help feeling it just doesn’t quite feel authentic.

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of the other 19 films he’s starred in). David Bowie is an icon—a mercurial, androgynous, born performer who constantly sourced from the past, present and future. His adoption of multiple personas including Ziggy Stardust, Thin White Duke and Halloween Jack reflect a truly post-modern understanding of identity as multifaceted and most importantly, constructed. Similarly, it was interesting to see into his creative process—at one point he uses a computer program to randomly mix collections of words together into new sentences, a process of automatic writing associated with Dada and Surrealism.

This speaks to the nature of words and the human capacity to find meaning in even the most nonsensical of couplings. Bowie uses the example of “the top is dead”—which makes him think of a 1930s-era industrialist boss committing suicide. The exhibition also includes various sketches made by Bowie since he was a teenager, planning out costumes (which were an integral part of his work) and even set designs. Similarly, his first major single “Space Oddity” was written in response to the first picture of the Earth taken from outer space, and it was great to see the original music video for this, as well as footage of his other performances and some of his most iconic photographs.

This impression is, I think, substantiated by the fact that all the good things I have to say about this movie are about David Bowie—not about David Bowie Is. Transforming an exhibition into a movie is a tricky concept at best, and wasn’t aided by the fact that I was sitting in the front row—poncy British people yelling at me about culture isn’t exactly my cup of tea. The film’s manner of panning through the exhibition was also really disruptive—the panoramas looked fake, and the frozen bodies of the exhibition viewers felt unnecessary and stilted. The cuts throughout the film to various people praising Bowie in front of an audience whilst standing on a large model of a stack of books also contributed little. It was all just a bit too selfcongratulatory.

But that’s not really the point. David Bowie is amazing—we all know that. However, it felt like the film was attempting to reflect some of his starlight, rather than being of quality in its own right. This may have something to do with its attempt to transform an exhibition into the film medium. An exhibition in itself is one remove from the immediacy of Bowie and his art in a museum has an archiving, somewhat deadening effect on the objects it exhibits. And the film itself felt like one remove from the exhibition—a remove on top of a remove. Similarly, the film’s manner of situating Bowie within his times (e.g. the developments of New Britain, or the psychedelic 60s) did not feel coherent as a narrative and the film’s motif of using the phrase “David Bowie Is” followed by various descriptors ultimately felt pretty lame. In this way there was a lot of praise of Bowie and his work—but not that much actual insight into his music, style or performances. Finally, the ending was really weird: David Bowie playing “Heroes” at a benefit concert for 9/11—such a random way to bring this film to a close.

To be fair, the film did remind me why I love Bowie, and to some extent enlightened me as to what else there is to discover about him.

For example, I now want to learn more about his Diamond Dogs and Berlin phases, as well as see The Man Who Fell To Earth (or any one

David Bowie Is is worth seeing in as much as you do get a sense of Bowie’s oeuvre, and get to see a few amazing images and videos.

But this is truly a weird mix of mediums—don’t bother seeing it at the cinema.

editor@salient.org.nz

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salient

Visual Arts

Your Online Art Horoscope: The internet is the perfect place to discover new artists and individual pieces (especially all the weird ones). Whatever your astrological sign, there’s an online masterpiece for you:

Gemini

Aries

Sharon Lam

www.taolin.info/drug-relatedphotoshop-art Tao Lin

With titles like Xanax for Koalas and Psilocybin Nicolas Cage, the alt-lit author continues his unique brand of apathy through his series of lax computer drawings, just as you, dear Aries, will continue your lax approach to pretty much everything.

Cancer “Tender” vimeo.com/111997940 Cors Brinkman, Jeroen van Oorschot, Marcello Maureira, and Matei Szabo

A piece of meat endlessly swipes right on Tinder, just like you!

While your love life may be looking bleak this week, next week is probably going to be the same.

www.salient.org.nz

Taurus veryman.expert unknown

This is an interactive website that lets you do a lot of weird things with a weird pink character. A very elaborate and abstract metaphor that forecasts the week ahead, but a smart Taurus like you should be able to work it out.

Leo lernertandsander.com/cubes Studio Lernert & Sander

Upon first viewing, this piece makes you go “wow, cool!”. After the fifth time you see someone sharing it on Facebook, however, you never want to see the photo again. In other words Leo, get some new clothes.

www.moonmoon moonmoon.com Ai Weiwei & Olafur Eliasson

“Touch the moon by drawing on it—a vision, doodle, statement, a greeting, thought… your drawing is a hinge between you, everyone else, and the universe,” says the artists’ statement. Much like this public collaboration piece, your week is going to involve a lot of creeping on strangers.

Virgo www.picturesthatigoneand done.com/ chris (simpsons artist)

This series of drawings represents the Virgo well: weird-looking, unusual, and after interacting with them, you’re not sure if you want to laugh or cry.

issue 14

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Visual Arts

Sagittarius

Libra instagram.com/jamesfrancotv/ James Franco

James Franco’s Instagram is such a weird mix of bad photoshopping, poorly angled selfies, and strange attempts at memes that it must surely be some form of performance art piece. Libra, your week is going to reflective of this— complete and utter confusion but you’ll be having a good time.

Scorpio www.flyingfrying.com/ Rafaël Rozendaal

Just one of Rafaël’s many “art-sites”, this one features a perpetually trembling egg. Who is the trembling egg in your life, Scorpio?

Isn’t it time you gave them a call?

“I Love You” vimeo.com/62467346 Neke Carson

This video presents a piece of “rectal realism”, a short-lived art movement in the 70s, or in other words, a dude painting with a paintbrush up his butt. It’s a strange and uncomfortable week ahead, Sagittarius.

Pisces Capricorn elblogdejoancornella. blogspot.com Joan Cornellá

Joan Cornellá’s work has garnered huge popularity online through dark, fleshy humour that makes you laugh, and then feel bad about laughing. Capricorn, take some time this week to re-evaluate your personal brand of humour.

Aquarius www.billiejean.co.uk Billie Jean

This loud, bold, and colourful portfolio makes you wish more graphic designers were as fun.

What also isn’t loud or bold is your recent demeanour Aquarius—do something completely deranged this week or your friends will soon be saying that you’re not as fun as you used to be.

www.govt.nz/browse/engagingwith-government/the-nz-flagyour-chance-to-decide/gallery/ The country of New Zealand

An entire nation of artists has emerged out of nowhere, and they’re all dedicated to the flag’s re-design. The online gallery is an inspiring look at New Zealand’s talent, and you Pisces need to get involved too! Open up Paint and get designing!

editor@salient.org.nz

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www.salient.org.nz

Comics

salient

issue 14

Pretty Good - 16, Solid - 24, Great - 30

P U Z

47

Puzzles BY PUCK

Z

L

E

S

"YOU AIN'T HEARD NOTHING YET!"

Medium

24. Parts of speech that can be proper (5) 25. Old anaesthetic (5) Cryptic clues Across 1. Abide bishop (chess piece) (5) 4. C as in 'Checkpoint', at Cold War site? (7) 8. Listen puzzledly to slideshows, ones which don't have noise (6,5) 9. Lays out and peruses, following Spanish primer (7) 13. Sounds like a place to rest after motherhood (5) 17. Frenzied brutes, the sort of thing that might destroy (6) 18. Problem with take, on actress Diane (6) 19. Follows orders every second - "Hobbies?

Yes!" (5) 20. Nurse's implement is to cauterise around a long period of time (7) 26. Brown songbird circles rustic lodge, for an old Californian event (3,4,4) 27. Priest loses one, becoming Oona on 'Game of Thrones' (7) 28. Part of stair is erected inside (5) Down

Quick clues

Down

Across

1. Statues of heads (5) 2. Type of transport ship (5) 3. African nation (5) 4. Parts of a shirt (5) 5. Make up on the spot (2,3) 6. Beam of light (5) 7. One of the planets (5) 10. Lead weight on a string (5) 11. Way in (5) 12. Inky (4) 14. Citizen of Baghdad (5) 15. Skimpy underwear (5) 16. Vodka brand stylised in all-caps (4) 19. Of sight (5) 20. Beyond what is needed (5) 21. Nick (5) 22. Part of a silverware set (5) 23. Method of tracking planes (5)

1. Small stream (5) 4. With 27-Across, director and star of 'Modern Times' (7,7) 8. Type of works made by the directors in this puzzle (6,5) 9. Spans (7) 13. Creation (5) 17. With 18-Across, director and star of 'Sherlock, Jr.' (6,6) 18. See 17-Across 19. Follows orders (5) 22. Needle (7) 26. 1925 movie made by one of the directors in this puzzle (3,4,4) 27. See 4-Across 28. Part of a step (5)

1. Raids heads of stone (5) 2. At boiler's centre is a vessel for fuel (5) 3. West loses it over African country (5) 4. They're on the wrists of criminals and officers (5) 5. Commercial for library is made up on the spot (2,3) 6. Beam of light is small amidst real confusion (5) 7. Our home made through heart-break? (5) 10. I hear stone fruit is made of lead (5) 11. Decapitated palace guard at gate (5) 12. Gloomy five hundred on Noah's boat (4) 14. Middle Easterner, me and sun god on Stephen Fry's quiz show (5) 15. Thubject of Thithqo'th tune? (5) 16. Vodka sounds like it might get you high (4) 19. Change of topic is visionary (5) 20. Ed's getting out of sex trade a little more (5) 21. Pilfer element which is yellow and bluegreen (5) 22. Sleep behind serving implement (5) 23. It tracks things coming both ways (5) 24. Deny United Nations' objects (5) 25. It's out there! (5) editor@salient.org.nz

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