Issue 24 - Party

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We made it e hoa mā! You survived multiple variants of Covid-19, a mountain of assignments, a change in Vice Chancellor, shitty hall food, a local body election, a cost of living crisis, the death of a monarch, and mouldy housing.

Survival warrants a party.

Here’s my last hot take for you—parties are more fun when you’re sober. Specifically, they’re more memorable.

I find gleeful, evil joy in walking away from a party knowing exactly who made out with who and how many drinks it took until so-and-so yacked into a monstera pot. Every glorious dance move and embarrassing overheard secret is permanently etched into my mind.

A lot of us drink to forget, but I hope 2022 was a party you’ll want to remember.

This week’s Party Issue is our last one for the year, and it’s packed with advice on how to throw rowdy ragers and sophisticated soirées. Our News team investigates security concerns around ID scanners at clubs, the environmental impact of disposable vapes, the national TEU strike, and more.

I’m signing off as Salient editor. I’m not a fan of Irish goodbyes, so here goes.

I started off at Salient in 2019 as a contributor, and soon after became the poetry editor. In 2021, I joined the staff as a feature writer. This year, I’ve had the honour of being editor.

Somewhere between the pages of this magazine and the walls of our office, I grew up.

Writing for Salient helped me stumble across the border of adolescence and past the threshold of adulthood. With every piece I wrote, I got the chance to figure out who I was and what I wanted to say. Salient has been the gift that keeps on giving; a haven, a testing ground, a home. If you reckon you’ve got what it takes to run this wild and wonderful publication, applications are open to be Salient editor for 2023.

My team is my backbone. A group of insanely talented, extremely dedicated, completely underpaid students who are hell-bent on producing a killer magazine for you every week. A special shout out to my designer and partner in crime Alice Brown, who has pulled off some of the most beautiful covers and illustrations Salient has ever seen. I’m not just proud of my team, I’m in awe of them.

Salient is an organ of student opinion which wouldn’t exist without our contributors. Check out page 5, it contains the names of every single contributor we had this year. This magazine belongs to you, the students of VUW. Keep putting Salient to good use.

With love and gratitude, JANHAVI GOSAVI

Hello!! The editorial in the Food issue talked about overpriced produce woes and cited the death of The VUW Fruit and Vege Co-Op as a source of salad sadness, but I wanted to share the joys of Wonky Box!! It’s an Aotearoa-owned fruit n veg delivery service that reduces food waste by working with local farmers to collect wonky or excess produce that supermarkets don’t want! It’s $32, but if you split it between a flat of 4 and get it bi-weekly, it’s 4 bucks a week and u get a fat mystery box of fun veges!!!

The ‘hummus’ recipe in last weeks Salient piqued my interest for all the wrong reasons. I cannot in good conscience not speak up on this publication.

To call this ‘Hummus’ is a disservice to all Salient readers and hummus as a whole. I may be painfully white, but even I know that honey and - god forbid - sweet chilli sauce should not go near any reasonable citizens hummus recipe. I cannot fathom how this recipe went through the editorial process without anyone raising a red flag.

Salient must let all it’s loyal readers (many of whom are very impressionable to misleading recipes) know that this ‘hummus’ is very specific to the author themselves and the recipe should not extend beyond their own kitchen.

Kind regards,

Concerned hummus fans.

Notices

VATS is performing Aristophanes’ The Frogs

Come along to the Victoria Ancient Theatre Society’s (VATS) 2022 production of Aristophanes’ The Frogs. Translated and adapted by Te Herenga Waka students, The Frogs is an ancient Greek comedy which tells the story of the god Dionysus as he journeys to the underworld to attempt to retrieve one of the great playwrights of tragedy and runs into various difficulties along the way.

The show is running 13th-15th October in the Memorial Theatre, doors open at 7pm. Tickets are $15 full and $10 concession and can be booked at vatsbookings@gmail.com or at the door on the night.

Write for Salient in 2023!

This is Salient’s last issue for 2022, and we’ll be back in Feb 2023! If you’re keen to write for the magazine, hit up editor@salient.org.nz next year to get involved. Salient will also be advertising paid staff roles around that time, so keep an eye out on our social media for those listings.

Thank you to all of our contributors for 2022!

Lauren Walker

Joanna Fan

Lily Pearl Moore

Niamh Vaughn

Cileme Venkateswar

Areta Pakinga

Puck

Phaedra Capes

Dylan Todd

Ralph Zambrano

Ella Hoogerburg

Aimee Norrie

Anoushka Divekar

Laurelei Bautista

Billie Angus

Alice Chrisp

Jack O’Donnell

Daisey Vahey

Elisapeta Dawson

Sophia Willis

Jimmy Williamson

Jolenna Deo

Teddi

Annie Cheng

Catherine Bullock

Kelly Mui

Tahlia Conrad-Hinga

Josie Mailisi

Georgia Wearing

Nosiphi Mapukata

Zephaniah Witoko

Mika Hervel

Amelia Foster

Zola Prendeville

Joseph Slicker

Eva Davis

Aria Ngarimu

Irihapeti Edwards

Phoebe Robertson

Aroha Williamson

Emily Blennerhassett

Kaitlyn Randall

The Filthy Geographic

James Russell

Stella Wilson

Kat Rowan

Lav

Reni Broughton

Dani Dayanghirang

Alyanna Geirran

Jess Ye

Sreymuch Soth

Dimitris Potusa

Ayak Chuot

Aeran Tapnio

Amal Abdullahi

Sahir Hussain

Etienne Wain

Ineke Ramsteijn

Janaye Kirtikar

Monica Lim

Humaidi Ridwan

Marlowe Toledo

Nina Bennett

Alex Marinkovich-Josey

Kabita Bhandari

Senuka Sudusinghe

Raad Ibrahim

Darcy Shaw

Tom Watson

Normaan Mohammed

Hannah Marshall

Ananda Acharya

Levi Gibbs

Cambelle Cook

Mason Lawlor

Rhea Dias

Sophie Clark

Molly Duval

Anthony Delaney

Rebekah Ward-Johnston

Platun Bond

Kate Witt

Alex Lister

Bryony Thorne

Zoe Smeele

Tharushi Bowatte

Erin Cutts

Christopher Keegan

Meilani Payne

Alfie Hartshorne

Amy Zeilstra

Brooklyn Leota

Tanumia Matega

Kelly Mitchell

Michael Turnbull

Ben Stubbing

Emile Boeke

Karina Kartono

Hannah Mahon

Lucy Forrestal

Olivia Dykes

Gabrielle Reyes

Jamie Clumpas

Rosie Ketko-Trask

Jackie Lamb

Gilbert Ostini

Aroha Witinitara

Engla Hoelstad

Anthony Delaney

Zia Ravenscroft

Lauren Davies Mary Allan

Isabella Hadlow

Snow Best

Sophia Honey

Martha Hardstaff

Fraser Rivers

Teherenui Koteka

Beth Brash

Aliyah Tiuka

Olivia Webb

Justine Jane Taito-Matamua Mauatua Fa’ara Reynolds

Freya Scott

Sofia Misa

Jotham Tesese

Amiria-Rose Monga Horoymana Fuimaono

Kerilyn Clarke

Hannah Mace

Ella Harkness

Sofia Barriga Julia Corston Gill Mark Aaron O’Leary

Erin Cutts Mason Lawlor

Max Nichol

James Daly Mason Coleman Savage

Melody Cleave

Te Huihui o Matariki Chi Huy Tran

Rachel Wi Repa

Kody Ward

Ashleigh Putt-Fallows

Katelynne Potiki-Clune

Te Matahiapo Safari Hynes

Roshi Sneyd

Noah Hunt Bella Bolter

Charlotte Smith

Barbara De la Pena Cuevas

Maddy Troutman

Goose Cherian Magnus Pechan

Patronscan: Protective System Or Privacy Scare?

Words by Ethan Manera (he/him)

An increasing number of Wellington bars are adopting digital ID checking technology in a move to make the capital’s nightlife safer, but potential privacy risks are going unchecked by bar owners.

The Patronscan system, which is widely used in Australia, scans the IDs of town-goers, as well as photographing them on entry. Their data is then stored and shared between venues across New Zealand and Australia, and security staff have the ability to permanently flag patrons for unruly behaviour.

Legendary Courtenay Place hot-spots including Dakota, The Residence, and the notorious, nowclosed Establishment bar all took on the Patronscan system last year. Shady Lady is the latest bar to implement Patronscan. They installed it last month, and cited their commitment to the Pōneke Promise city safety initiative as a key motivator.

Owner of The Residence and Dakota Jose Ubiaga said that since implementing the technology, he’s “definitely seen a decrease” in crime and unruly behaviour. “The thing about Patronscan is it can hold the customers to account,” he said.

Ubiaga added that it has also acted as a helpful deterrent for crime. He said “gang guys” no longer frequent Dakota in order to avoid their ID being scanned.

Marie, a VUW student, says she was flagged on the Patronscan system earlier this year after getting “too drunk” at Dakota. Being flagged got her banned from multiple Courtenay Place venues for the rest of the night. “I was disappointed, it’s my favourite place,” she said, but acknowledged Patronscan is a valuable system for “checking IDs and stuff”.

The Office of the Privacy Commissioner told Salient that they had “looked into” venues using Patronscan in the last year “to make sure the system complied with the rules of the Privacy Act”, saying that Patronscan could pose privacy risks if mismanaged.

A spokesperson for the commissioner mentioned the danger of bar-goers’ personal information being used for “identity fraud if they end up in the wrong hands”. They added that “any business looking to use technology of this nature should first complete a privacy impact assessment.”

Ubiaga said he had not completed a privacy impact assessment, saying “that’s actually news to me”. He confirmed that the Privacy Commissioner had investigated Dakota’s use of Patronscan when it was first implemented, following a complaint by a customer, but maintains the system is safe and secure.

University Staff Strike in First Wave of Industrial Action

Words by Beth Mountford (she/her)

Thursday, 6 October saw the first university staff strike in over a decade. At midday, Tertiary Education Union (TEU) members, including tutors, general, academic, and research staff, walked out of their roles and into the Hub. They carried placards with sentiments such as “I can’t afford to NOT strike”. Staff did not return to work for the rest of the day.

TEU strikes took place on the same day across all eight universities in Aotearoa. Irena Brörens, the TEU Assistant National Secretary, said that “members are feeling frustrated, angry, and worried about the future of their sector if pay does not keep pace with the cost of living.”

At VUW, the vote on whether to strike was overwhelmingly in favour across all staff collectives. Out of those who voted, 98% of tutors, 100% of research staff, 95% of the academic staff, and 93% of general staff voted in favour of industrial action.

VUW and Auckland University are the only two universities in the country who are suspending staff for the duration of the strike, in order to legally dock employees’ pay.

Dougal McNeill, the TEU Branch President at VUW, said: “We are on strike from noon to 4:30. Your employer will be deducting pay for that period. We owe each other an obligation of collegiality… All emails arriving in my inbox and [those of] staff [this] afternoon will be deleted [and] unread.”

The strike follows insufficient pay offers from the university during collective bargaining.

Tutors have not been offered a pay increase at all, despite pay rates at VUW being considerably less than what tutors are offered at other universities. Nicki Wilford, organiser of the TEU, said this is “shocking in the current environment”.

Staff collectives who have been made offers by the university have found them insufficient as they do not match current levels of inflation.

McNeill said “we all love the university, we all love helping students learn, but you’ve got to fund people to do it.”

“All through covid, the message is always “do more with less”…show us the money, you know,” he said.

One Geography tutor said that while they were supporting the strike for higher pay, they wanted to see a balancing of the academic and business sides from the university.

They said they’d like “an emphasis from the university on providing proper education, and so supporting the staff that want to do that.”

Another tutor said that they “get dismal paychecks every week for the amount of work that it is and for the type of work that it is.” They added that if pay didn’t improve, they would leave the institution next year.

“Literally just because we can’t afford to [stay]. Like, we can’t afford the cost of living with a job that pays so little,” they said.

A lecturer from the Centre of Science in Society said they were participating in the strike “because our tutors have been consistently undervalued by the same university that has trained them.”

They said that while “the solidarity is incredible…it feels frustrating that we need to mobilise in this way.”

VUWSA are standing in support of the TEU strikes and expressed particular solidarity with the tutors’ collective. “They provide so much wraparound support to students and the university doesn’t recognise that they are the lowest paid in the country.”

“It’s time for [tutors] to get paid, paid a decent wage, paid a living wage, if not more,” said VUWSA.

Wilford said “the ideal is to get back to the table and get a decent offer that my members could vote in favour of.” She said the TEU are prepared to take further strike action until a satisfactory offer has been received.

The Environmental Cost of a $10 Disposable Vape

Words by Azaria Howell (she/her)

The average AirsPops disposable vape costs $10 and can be purchased from pretty much any dairy or petrol station. This convenient nicotine hit has students hooked – a cheap e-cigarette can be “perfect on a night out”, according to one student.

But with so many disposable vapes being purchased, are we overlooking a bigger issue? Disposable vapes contain lithium batteries which cause serious environmental damage.

Sky News reports that around ten tonnes of lithium is being sent to landfills each year from disposable vapes in just the UK alone. Allegedly, this is “enough of the metal to make batteries for 1,200 electric cars.”

With an environmentally harmful background and a cheap price tag, we wanted to find out how many students were using these devices.

Salient interviewed over a dozen students to get the low-down on the latest high.

One student said that their ascent into nicotine addiction was “quite a gradual thing”, which sparked from realising “it’s fun to vape” when drinking or going out. This student started off with a disposable vape and found that they “used it up pretty quickly”, prompting them to buy another.

They said disposable vapes felt “less permanent” than buying a reusable vape, as once it was done they could “just get rid of it”. This didn’t happen – they bought another disposable vaping device after the first one ran out.

Another student who I spoke to agreed that disposable vapes felt less serious. “I had someone tell me that it’s a way to sort of guilt you into stopping, [but], like, the moment disposable runs out, you don’t.”

The psychological factor of disposable vapes made students feel as if they were in control of their nicotine use. “I keep telling myself I’m going to quit [...] I’m just like, I’m gonna quit after this one. And it’s just a cycle.” This student stated that disposable vapes made them feel “less like an addict [...] People who buy disposable vapes don’t want to admit they’re addicted.”

Academics worldwide agree that disposable vapes seem to be preferred by people who do not consider themselves addicts. A study from the National Library of Medicine concluded that disposable vaping devices had a higher nicotine content than other e-cigarettes.

Similar research from Australia found that many young people started off vaping with the use of disposable devices, as they are less committal and are userfriendly.

The study also showed vapes had been marketed towards young people with enticing flavours, such as berry and Red Bull, that seem much more appealing than the traditional cigarette.

A student we spoke to had fallen victim to this – they bought their first vape in Year 12. Now, they “vape all the time”. Despite admitting to this, the student only buys disposable vapes. They stated that they go through at least two disposable vapes per week.

When asked why they didn’t opt for a refillable vaping device, the student stated “the filling up is such a ceebs [a colloquial term for ‘can’t be fucked’] and the coil gets burnt.” The convenience of disposable devices got them hooked. They added that they don’t really think about how the cost adds up over time.

Many agreed that the low-cost of disposable vapes were harmfully enticing. One student I spoke to said that many of their friends had tried to quit vaping, but had found it difficult due to disposable vapes being so easy to access. On disposable vapes, another student said “everyone” has one.

Another student stated that they did not vape, but thought it was “cool” to have at parties. “It makes everything more social. Like someone will ask to use your vape and then you can talk.” They thought that disposable vapes were less “cringe” than reusable vapes, especially the tank-looking ones.

“Everyone has them at parties,” a student told me. They go through one disposable vape every week, but won’t buy a reusable vape as they wanted to refrain from “committing to the lifestyle”.

But are students willing to accept that disposable vapes could be causing serious harm to our planet?

Many students admitted that they did not consider the impact use-and-throw vapes had on the environment.

One student I spoke to said that they “felt bad that it was unhealthy”, but had not thought about the waste disposable vapes cause.

“I probably should [care], but I don’t,” a self-confessed nicotine fiend told me.

When I informed a student who “vapes every day” that disposable vapes cause tonnes of lithium to go to landfill, their jaw dropped. “It’s just another reason to not do it, I guess.” They added that so many people are addicted to nicotine and probably don’t even care about the impacts it has on the environment and their health.

Some students said that they used both disposable vaping devices and reusable vapes. These students all mentioned that they felt “bad” about throwing away disposable vapes.

One student I talked to was “more than aware” of the environmental impact of the devices. This student ensured that all of their used-up disposable vapes were disposed of “in a vape store” to ensure safe recycling of the devices.

All other students who admitted to using disposable vapes just throw them away in the bin when they’re done – safe environmental vaping practice seems too much effort for some.

An Instagram poll I conducted found that 48% of students confessed to vaping either daily or socially. Only 38% of these respondents stated they used a refillable vape, with the majority opting for the budgetfriendly disposable.

Over half of self-confessed disposable vape users stated that they “did not consider the environment” when purchasing these devices, and found that cost and accessibility were more important.

Cost of Living Payment Ends

Words by Beth Mountford (she/her)

The third and final instalment of the Cost of Living Payment was paid out early last week. It aimed to help those who earned under $70,000 last year deal with the rising costs of inflation.

The payment has been criticised for being an inappropriate way of addressing inflation. Dr Dennis Wesselbaum, an economics lecturer from the University of Otago writing for Stuff earlier this year, speculated that it could even increase inflation “or [prevent] it from falling faster.”

Salient took to the Hub to see how the payment had affected students and whether it had made a noticeable difference to their wallets this winter. Many said the Cost of Living Payment won’t be dearly missed because it was never that much anyway.

Danielle, a Master’s student at VUW, said “I guess it’s been nice but it feels like not a lot. And also, like, weirdly spread out.”

Using the first payment, Danielle went halves with their partner on a heating pad for their cat. “Just because we’re like, in a really cold damp house and I feel really bad leaving her by herself in the cold during the day,” they said.

Danielle’s office-mate said they used the payment to stock up on four tubs of creatine, which should last them “for, like, a year”.

Many students used the payments for one-off things they wouldn’t usually be able to afford, such as a second pair of shoes or memberships for “kickboxing and canoe polo” clubs.

Claude saids they were “positively” affected by the payment. They spent the money on “Uber Eats”, taking a break from “shitty hall food” and feasting on FJ Noodles’ 20 for $20 dumplings deal with free spring rolls.

Other students said the payment disappeared quickly on everyday necessities, such as food and transport.

Sarah said the payment has helped them deal with unexpected costs, like flights home to see family and car repairs.

They described the payment as “a little bit helpful. It didn’t help that much, but it takes a little bit of the pressure off. You don’t have to work so many hours.”

Headline Junkie:

Words by Salient News Team

CW: Police Brutality.

Wellington Protests In Solidarity With Iranian Women

Last week, protestors took to Cuba Street in solidarity with Iranian women. Protests followed the killing of 22-year-old Mahsa Amini, who was previously arrested for not following Iran’s female dress code. Protestors, including Green MP Golriz Ghahraman, cut their hair in solidarity with Amini, calling for choice and an end to the “regime’s violence”. Red hand prints have been painted outside the Iranian Embassy in Hataitai, in what is believed to be protest action. A witness told Salient: “Someone had put red paint hand prints all over the outside and splashed it on the gates.”

Jinkies! Velma is Gay, Confirmed

Popular animated children’s TV show character Velma Dinkley is officially a lesbian. The iconic character will be portrayed as gay in new movie Trick or Treat Scooby-Doo! Dinkley is seen crushing on costume designer Coco Diablo in the franchise’s latest movie, an animated Halloween special. Many fans took to Twitter to celebrate the news. Google also showed support for Dinkley by showering the screen with an array of pride flags when “Velma” was typed into the search bar.

A Bite-Sized Look Into the Big Stories

Stolen Bikes Discovered Purrr

Police have unearthed a shipping crate containing hundreds of stolen bicycles in the Wellington suburb of Newlands. A trio of dubious cycling criminals has been arrested following the discovery, which was dubbed “Operation Trump Card” and involved 60 police staff. It is believed that much of the stolen property, which primarily consists of push-bikes and e-bikes, was pinched from the “central city area”.

University Slammed After Removing Law Lecture Recordings

After VUW told second-year law students that their courses would be in-person only, students fought back. VUWSA launched an online petition calling on the university to backtrack its decision and allow students access to lecture recordings. The petition received over 1,000 signatures in just one day. On the matter, VUWSA says: “Universal access to lecture recordings is a cornerstone of accessible education.” The students’ association will reportedly be launching an open letter to the university’s senior leadership in the coming days to advocate for universal lecture recordings.

Biggest Polluter in the World Sponsors Climate Conference

…And not just any conference, the 2022 United Nations Climate Change Conference, commonly referred to as COP27. Coca-Cola has been found to be the world’s top plastic polluter four years in a row by Break Free From Plastic’s annual audits. The sponsorship has weakly been described as “baffling” and “greenwash”. Salient’s position on the matter is that it is frankly diabolical and a concerning signal of the end of days. What a joke.

Ngāi Tauira Compete at Kāpuia

A representative Kapa Haka rōpū of thirty tauira Māori from Te Herenga Waka’s Ngāi Tauira headed to Kirikiriroa to compete from 6-9 October. The rōpū were competing at Kāpuia, a whakawhanaungatanga event hosted by Waikato University. The weekend entailed Kapa Haka and sport competitions for tauira from all Māori Students’ Associations across Aotearoa who could make it. Our representative rōpū absolutely killed it, and there are likely to be many newsworthy scandals floating around from the weekend.

Frozen Berries Causing Hepatitis Outbreak

Pams Frozen Berries have been at the forefront of an outbreak of hepatitis, with seven people reportedly hospitalised due to the consumption of the fruit. Consumers are being urged to boil their berries before consumption. People are also encouraged to return the product to supermarkets for a full refund.

Te Aka Tauira: Ngāi Tauira Gifts VUWSA New Te Reo Māori Name

Words by Tessa Keenan (Te Ātiawa; she/her)

On 29 September, Ngāi Tauira (NT), Te Herenga Waka’s Māori Students’ Association, passed a resolution at their AGM to gift a new Te Reo Māori ingoa to VUWSA: ‘Te Aka Tauira’. VUWSA’s previous Te Reo name was ‘Te Rōpū Tauira o Te Whare Wānanga o Te Upoko ō Te Ika a Māui’, a direct translation of its English name.

President Ralph Zambrano felt VUWSA’s Te Reo name should be one gifted by tauira and collectively held between both associations. The suggestion was first raised in 2021.

Manuhuia Bennett put forward and developed ‘Te Aka Tauira’ with fellow tauira over a series of wānanga on the name change. On the name’s whakapapa, he said: “Ko tā te ingoa nei, ‘Te Aka Tauira’, he whakamana i ngā kōrero tuku iho mō te pikitanga o Tāwhaki mā te aka matua ki te ao o Ranginui, ki ngā rangi tūhāhā hei nanao i te kauae runga. The name ‘Te Aka Tauira’ praises the oral traditions of Tāwhaki and his journey of climbing the vine in search of the knowledge of the heavens.”

Kelly Mitchell, Tumuaki of NT, said the name-gifting process was “long and, at some points, involved contentious conversations.” One concern raised was that VUWSA would be depicted as representative for Māori students when it “doesn’t have a great history of representing the interest[s]” of tauira. As a result, an accountability process was developed and permanently embedded in the name. “VUWSA will rely on NT as the authority on the name’s tikanga and… the name can only be used alongside [NT’s] interest.”

To Ralph, this was an opportunity to “set a precedent of working together in genuine partnership” between the two associations. In acknowledging this, he reflected that the name-change wānanga helped VUWSA “take on the whakaaro of tauira Māori and be held accountable for our intentions with the new name and past misgivings.”

Physical taonga, chosen by tumuaki takirua Kelly and Mason Lawlor, were gifted by VUWSA to Manuhuia and NT in exchange for ‘Te Aka Tauira’.

The rest of NT’s packed AGM included, among other items, elections for a new 2023 Komiti Whakahaere.

THE G REAT PARTY ROUND UP

Words by Bridget Scott(she/her)

Karaoke Party Live Music

Cottagecore Potluck Picnic

the SJS app today to explore thousands of

History’s Greatest Soirées: Ideas For Your Next Party

Words by Willow Koller (they/them)

Who’s hosting? If you’re looking for inspiration and you want to make your next flat party a bit less shit—look no further. I’ve compiled a list of the most frivolous and extravagant parties throughout history just for you, paired with some budget-friendly suggestions of course.

Billy Name’s Haircutting Parties

Picture an apartment spray painted floor-to-ceiling in silver, crawling with the pop culture icons of the 1960s all there for a haircut. This was a weekly occurrence for photographer and socialite Billy Name, whose futuristic decor was ripped off by Andy Warhol and became one of the most memorable features of Warhol’s art studio in the years to come. Rather than waiting for a slot at the salon, those Name deemed interesting enough got to drink and mingle while he worked his magic. Warhol even made a short film of one of the nights: a whole twenty-nine minutes of Name snipping while partygoers get madeover. As renters, the visual spectacle of the silver paint job framing these parties might be a little out of our reach, but you can still hang some tinfoil and get the blunt kitchen scissors out! Hate to say it, but Wellington students are notorious for shitty bathroom haircuts. It’s just part of our social fabric. Whether it’s just a trim or a full dirty mullet, get chopping.

Come As Your Madness

This was a party so memorable it inspired Kenneth Anger’s bacchic avant-garde film Inauguration of the Pleasure Dome—starring what he deemed to be the most memorable guests. If you like a cryptic dress code and have a tendency to overshare, this might just be the perfect theme for you. Writer Anaïs Nin recounted in her 1954 diaries that she wore nothing but a leopard print leotard, pasties, and a birdcage on her head. The birdcage contained her ticker tape of the unconscious: a roll of paper on which she wrote excerpts of her diary to be ripped off and handed to guests of the night. RIP Anaïs Nin, you would have loved BeReal.

Disco 2000

Next Wednesday, skip San Fran and host your own Disco 2000, inspired by the infamous Wednesday-night rave in NYC. This is, of course, if you have a strong stomach and an even stronger hatred for your landlord. Disco 2000 parties were a mainstay of the 90s underground scene, started by Micheal Alig. Alig was the leader of the Club Kids: a band of NYC’s most subversive socialites known for their counterculture drag looks and irreverent stunts. Each week, the theme aimed to top the chaos and visual spectacle of the last. One particularly memorable night was Blood Feast, where Club Kid and drag artist James St James was strapped to a gurney and covered in chopped liver and pigs’ blood. Another recurring character was Ernie The Pee Drinker, which is self explanatory. Disco 2000’s end was as shocking as its run, with Alig being convicted of the murder of fellow Club Kid Angel Melendez. For your Welly Disco 2000, lean into the Club Kid objective of ‘the self as the spectacle’ and the celebration of trash culture (hopefully minus the murder).

de Rothschild Surrealist Ball

Guy de Rothschild and his wife/third-cousin Marie-Hélène de Rothschild are perfect examples of people with far too much money and spare time than they know what to do with. This is why, in 1972, they were able to throw the greatest surrealist party of all time, costumed by Salvador Dalí and attended by stars such as Audrey Hepburn and Marisa Beresnson. The invitation, spelt out so that it could only be read through a mirror, set the dress code as black tie with “surrealist heads”. Once they arrived, guests were led through a disconcerting maze by butlers instructed to act as cats who were pawing at each other and taking “catnaps”. I doubt any of you have diamond headdresses lying around, but I bet you could find a mate with a proclivity for pretension to make some crafty masks with!

Romanov Costume Ball

The last ball of Tsarist Russia is perfect party inspiration for anyone with a big deadline, exam, or obligation coming up around the corner. Being the height of Russia’s ruling class, the Romanovs dressed in spectacular seventeenth century costumes and dripped with jewels. They feasted on decadent food while the working class revolution that would end their 300-year dynasty loomed outside the palace walls. This party represents blind delusion in the face of crisis. Spend the last of your StudyLink money on a wheel of brie, a nice bottle of Russian vodka, a piece of clothing that you’ll definitely never have an occasion to wear again, and a Fabergé egg. Fuck it, worry about the rest tommorow.

The Last Supper

Perhaps the most budget-friendly of the bunch, all you’ll need to recreate this party is bread, your favourite bottle of Cleanskin wine, and a deep unaddressed issue with a friend you have potent homoerotic sexual tension with. Invite 12 of your most devoted followers (no more, no less) and enforce a strict dress code of robes and sandals. If it wasn’t clear already, our friend JC had quite a pension for the dramatics. In order to channel this, at some point in the evening you will have to announce that you know one attendee is destined to betray you, but refuse to name them. This is particularly great if your friendships have been going too smoothly and you’re looking to create some excitement in your life. If you really want to be biblically accurate, you can wash the feet of your disciples on entry. But that really depends if that’s your thing or not.

dcm

Together we can end homelessness

Fly On The Wall

CW: Alcohol Abuse, Deliberate Vomiting.

My party experience started quite late. In high school, I lived in a country where, instead of house parties, teenagers would frequent local seaside bars and clubs in the central city. Moving to Aotearoa and starting to attend house parties was a culture shock to say the least. I discovered quickly that my favourite part of parties is being able to watch those around me like a TV show; being a fly on the wall. So, through a few anecdotes from

my experiences at these parties, we’re going to explore the types of characters one might see at your typical Wellingtonian house party. Coming up we have: The Pinger, The Pong Bro, The Sulky Drunk, The Hospo OffDuty, and The Sober Driver.

Back in North Cyprus, the “it” spot for tweens and teens was Cyprian—a dingy little bar hidden within the old stone walls of the Kyrenia harbour. Along with the various shisha bars scattered along the waterfront, this was our

haven. With one-dollar tequila shots and no ID checks, we were in paradise. Of course, being intoxicated in public forced us to understand our tolerances and limits a lot faster than the average person here in New Zealand. We were used to the world of drinking being one of pleasure, and would always have a nice snack with our booze.

In my European mind, my friends and the majority of those I’ve met in social settings in New Zealand abuse

Words by Zeynep Todd (she/her)

alcohol to a concerning extent. It is not normal to arrive at the state of incoherency and reverse eating (ew guys, please don’t, it’s so uncool and gross and worrying) every other time you drink. The fact that there is a term for “pulling a tacky” is honestly so concerning. We all go past our limits sometimes, of course. When this becomes the norm, it becomes an issue. I can’t comprehend what sort of pleasure is gained from constantly being hungover, but I do find it hilarious that my friends swear off alcohol every weekend.

The first party I ever went to in New Zealand was a 21st. A 21st here is a big deal; I started off with a bang. Substances flowed, speeches were made, and as the night progressed, my eye was drawn to a certain friend of the birthday boy. We’re going to call her “The Pinger”. Now, I’m sure we’ve all met a party pinger. They tend to be the most wonderfully entertaining characters to observe in a party setting. The Pinger took centre stage on the dance floor, which was the living room of a cosy four-bedroom flat in the outer suburbs of the city. She engulfed almost an entire packet of minty chewing gum over the course of the night. She devoured that dance floor like nothing I have seen. Watching her move was the most wonderful image of indescribable ecstacy. She engaged in energised conversation with any and all. The Pinger became her own main character, and we were all there for it. If you, too, are a Pinger, test test test!

The flat I live in now is what you might refer to as something of a frat house. Aged leather sofas line the walls and the living room light bulb is a twirling rainbow of colour. It is the perfect party atmosphere: spacious, dimly lit, and crusty enough that there is no fear of doing damage. Following the theme of frat houses, we must now discuss “The Pong Bro”. In the middle of my living room sits a rickety old table left by the previous tenants that is now strictly reserved for the age-old art of beer pong. The Pong Bro will remain at the helm of the pong table for the majority of the evening, and will usually be the most enthusiastic member of the party. The Pong Bro will almost always be a loud drunk; someone who only gets more enthusiastic the more alcohol they consume. We have to love The Pong Bro.

“The Sober Driver” and “The Hospo Off-Duty” are two sides of the same coin. The Sober Driver, while probably entertained by every other attendee, will almost always be visibly out of place. They’re tricksters of hydration who take on the role of an overbearing mother. Meanwhile, The Hospo Off-Duty will be the life of the party. They will be consuming alcohol like nothing else matters, and will never say no to whatever you may offer them (though it is more likely that they will be doing the propositioning). The amount of alcohol The Hospo-Off Duty can consume is peak New Zealand drinking culture. I have never seen somebody who can create such wondrous concoctions, consume such questionable mixtures, and still survive the night. I have nothing but respect and extreme concern for these characters.

No matter what substance“The Sulky Drunk” consumes, they end up face down on the closest surface. The Sulky Drunk, a recurring character I discovered after moving here, starts out as a fun loving and wholesome member of the party scene. After ingesting too much of their chosen substance, however, they will find a cosy corner in which to nest for the remainder of the evening. Their energy creates a vacuum to which you can migrate if you ever need to discuss deep topics, such as how loud The Pong Bro is being or how tired you both are. After this prolonged sitting period, The Sulky Drunk will pass out in their chosen corner. They will be comfortable either way, so don’t you worry.

Whoever you may be at a party, remember this: know thy company, know thy dose and/or tolerance, and have fun! Stay safe out there, soldiers.

THE PINGER THE SOBER DRIVER/THE HOSPO OFF-DUTYTHE PONG BRO THE SULKY DRUNK

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RANKING HANGOVER CURES RANKING HANGOVER CURES

Words by Lauren Pemberton (she/her)

Hangovers fucking suck. While I’m past my fresher days, I’m still a fan of hitting town and flat parties. This comes with the grim reality of the next morning. Everyone has their own way of curing their bender blues. Amongst the tonnes of hacks one can find on the internet, there can be trash and magic! I’ll be rating hangover hacks so that you don’t have to.

1. CAN’T BEAT THE CLASSIC… SALTY AND FATTY FOODS A staple in the hangover hack pantry… I give you salty and fatty foods. At the end of the night, there is nothing like chowing down on some chips, crackers, or fish fingers. A good feed with your mates before heading home for the night can also help you wind down, and you can end the night with some good yarns. The salts and fats are also great to vibe with in the morning as you’re soaking in the disappointment and cringe from the night before. Salty and fatty foods are a total win.

2. THE LEGENDARY HAIR OF THE DOG HACK This is when someone cures their hangover by drinking more! The phrase refers to the method of treating a dog bite where the dog’s hair is placed in the wound. In the same way, continuously drinking supposedly prevents you from getting a hangover in the short term. All I’ll say is that while it works, it just prolongs the horrible hangover to come. For a temporary situation it could be handy, but you’re honestly better off chugging a tall glass of water.

4. THE FAVOURITE: ELECTROLYTE POWDER TRIED.

TESTED. WORKED. One night when things got too crazy, I got in an Uber at 2 a.m. with a bottle of water and electrolyte powder in my hand. I chugged half before bed and the rest the next morning… and I felt so energized that I gymmed at 10 a.m., hangover-free! Drinking makes you lose a lot of water and electrolytes, so this is a fool-proof cure. Powerade works similarly, as it contains electrolytes too. But tbh, electrolyte powder and water gets the job done. Vibe check passed.

3. HONEY, HONEY, HONEY! Honey on a piece of toast or a cracker isn’t just a sweet treat, but a great hangover snack too. Eating it before or after drinking will help because it metabolises the alcohol in your system (whatever that means, Google!). I recommend spooning it onto the bread or cracker before you get home, so you don’t fumble around with a sticky jar and miss out! Overall, it’s nice and it works, but it’s not as tasty as salty and fatty foods.

5. HANGOVER TABLETS (YEP, THEY EXIST) Aspirin tablets are old news. Hangover tablets are here baby! You can find them at your local liquor store at the counter—and they work! Just chug a glass of water with two tablets before bed. However, it’s a bit expenny and there are cheaper remedies (like the ones above!).

Shady Lady

MANAWA ORA

Stay Balanced Over the Summer

Words by Cileme Venkateswar (she/her)

Daylight saving stole an hour of sleep and in return it gifted us with the occasional long, blue-skied evenings (and personally, ‘What Time Is It?’ from High School Musical 2 has begun playing on repeat in my head with each increment of sun we see).

After this winter, we’re all pumped for warmth and sunshine. Whether you’re working full time, taking the summer off, doing summer school, or diving into other projects and side hustles, it’s important you carry the balance you utilise at uni with you into your summer plans.

Chaos is an apt description for the insanity that’s been this uni year, and that’s a strong reason to carve out time over the summer to press pause and recharge while the days stretch out, feeling a little warmer and softer around the edges. But be careful not to fall into the Summer Trap: it can feel like you have all the time in the world for every hobby and road trip, all the life admin, and New Year’s resolutions. But summer is the same length as a trimester and it goes just as quickly. Plan your time how you would at uni, even if you prioritise chilling out over anything productive.

Balance is key. If you’re putting in the mahi to make bank or get some tri three papers done before next year, don’t work yourself into burnout before uni even starts again. Match your mahi with good sleeps, time spent with friends, or getting vitamin D. If your summer plans are festival hopping, do so safely. Look out for yourself and your friends, get your drugs checked, test regularly for Covid-19, and set aside recovery time so that you get the rest you need.

Be proud of everything you’ve achieved and overcome this year, especially as you push through these last few weeks of uni! Summer is just around the corner, and if you go into it knowing how to manage your time and wellbeing, it’ll definitely be one to remember.

PASIFIKA STUDENTS’ COUNCIL

How to Partay Like an American College Student

Words by Josie Mailisi (she/her)

You a bad girl, and your friend’s bad too (ooh) - Beyoncé

Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low - Flo Rida

Senorita, come with me. You belong with me, my dear. Come on with me, we go party - DJ Noiz

No matter your tune, we all have something that gets us in the mood to parttaaaaay!

Our culture of partying evolves from before we hit our teens. We spend our childhoods seeing our families party. We go to birthday parties, funerals, and weddings of family friends that we don’t even know.

To celebrate is in our blood. We let loose, we go wild, and we have fun! Party culture is synonymous with celebration in the Pacific Island culture. It becomes a ritual of connection and liberation. We honour our beloved, let go of our inhibitions, and reminisce over fond memories.

I didn’t understand the full extent of the saying “go big or go home” until I moved to Austin, Texas recently. Every day there is something to attend. From Thursday-Sunday, expect ten different types of parties, with themes, alcohol, and social activities. These kinds of events have become a culture created by socialisation. If you’re over 21, you have clubs; if you’re under 21, your life becomes an illegal trading system of house parties.

Let me paint you a picture.

The night starts at about 4 p.m. You text your besties after class and confirm the plans.

It hits 4:30 p.m.: you have a snack, you shower, and then the beating of the face begins.

It hits 5:30 p.m. and you start tossing between your outfits.

6:30 p.m. swings by and it’s time for “pre-game”, known to Kiwis as “pre-drinks”.

A few swigs of your favourite tequila and it’s time to get in the zone. You start talking about where you’re going, the goss gets juicy, and before you know it you’re contemplating whether you’re wearing the right outfit.

7:30 p.m.: you hit your first stop. Cain and Abel’s is the local for “college” students here in Austin. You see your friends, someone buys you a drink, or you buy a round for your friends. The night truly begins here.

9 p.m. hits and you think about where you’re going next. You order your Lyft (same as Uber) and head out to the first place. Frat party? House party? Club? The possibilities are endless.

10 p.m. is when the real parties start. You check your messages and DMs. Where am I going next? Do I want to hit a frat party and get some free drinks? Do I want to go to my social org? My sorority? Or am I going to wing it and head to the infamous 6th Street?

At 11 p.m. the free bar tab has ended and it’s time to decide what’s next. Am I going to keep dancing? Mingling? Or change locations?

It’s midnight: the point where you decide if you’re in it for the long haul or that the vibe is not your thing and you’re heading home. If you decide to leave, it’s off to Whataburger or Taco Bell for your midnight feast. If the night hasn’t ended then you’re off to the next location.

1 a.m. comes around and you’ve hustled it out. You realise you’re starving. But the party is so good you keep going. 2 a.m. comes and the bars close here (early, I know).

If you’ve made it to 2 a.m., congrats. What you do after this is pretty much each to their own adventure. I’ll leave out the details, but your imagination can take you where it wants to go.

There you have it. The partying life of a now-American college student.

forgetting i’m not in the city anymore

hand slips through bus stop glass. it never stops raining here god closed his umbrella and watches cobblestone water damage brick murmurs into small neighbourhood sludge nothing pretty grows though, just astroturf and fertilised weeds. worms and wormlike people. adoration of their cyanide makes sense because pain is love anyway right? pain isn’t love in the square; it’s skinning your knees in the skatepark. love is the dead pukeko next to you reminding you of the infinite cycle we are in lady macbeth is jealous. love is also the pukeko playing dead reminding you that the cycle is a social construct love is schrödinger’s pukeko and unfertilised weeds and the coach house the dream is to go to the museum instead of being the exhibition this town only makes sense as an abstract art show, maybe a movie set someone should increase the budget because i’m getting bored

last night’s lover (hater)

today’s coffee jitters shake me up but an open window and music made by flowers turn me pleasant the washer and dryer hum in the other room i’m dressing for me only. that shirt marred by vodka and his grasping now only for me. you and me? me and the wind wrapped around my sweet head let tomorrow be an orange grove. let me send myself a good morning text i love you and your tired hair. he’s one hell of a woman a walk to the grocery store can be a gift see the way we enjoy our mornings in different ways the microwave song, the hot coffee spills, the piecing together of things leftover from the night. if i slept next to you in the night, i think i’d roll over and mindlessly loop an arm around your body like the mountains pull the sun toward them. holding each other

- Words by Zia Ravenscroft (they/he)

SALIENT PODCASTS

The Journey of Psychedelics with Smooth Brain Society

Words by Sahir Hussain (he/him)

Psychedelics aren’t like any other party drug, and to understand what they are about, The Smooth Brain Society sat down with Professor Bart Ellenbroek for an episode titled ‘Drugs 101: Psychedelics’. Bart is the head of the Behavioural Neurogenetics lab at Victoria University of Wellington where they are currently looking at psychedelics as a form of therapy in pre-clinical models. We go through what the recent renaissance in drug research means, things to be aware of before taking psychedelics yourself, and where these trends are headed in the future. Producer of Salient Podcasts Francesca Pietkiewicz joins us as special guest host.

The history of psychedelics is fascinating. For context, stimulants like methamphetamines, cocaine, and MDMA (molly/ecstasy) were synthesised in the late 1890s to early 1900s, while dissociates like ketamine and PCP (angel dust) were developed even later in the 1950s and 60s. On the other hand, psychedelics are pretty ancient.

In a cave in Tassili n’Ajjer, Algeria lies a mural depicting a bee-headed figure sprouting mushrooms from his body. The mushrooms, identified as Psilocybe mairei, are native psychedelic mushrooms. The mural itself is dated to be 9,000 years old. Other evidence indicates that indigenous North Americans used peyote (a psychedelic cactus) as early as 5,700 years ago. There are accounts of mescaline containing cacti and psilocybin mushrooms being used in traditional medicinal and religious practices all across South and Central America.

Psychedelics were introduced to the western world in 1496, and their popularity in research and pop culture peaked in the 1960s.

Which leads me to the following quote: “LSD is a psychedelic drug which occasionally causes psychotic behaviour in people who have NOT taken it.” American psychologist and author Timothy Leary believed that only people who hadn’t taken psychedelics were hysterical about them; those who had taken the drugs understood how beneficial they were.

Leary was a former psychologist at Harvard University and a strong advocate for psychedelic drugs in the 1960s. This era coincided with the beginning of the now infamous “war on drugs” campaign, spearheaded by United States presidential candidate, and later President, Richard Nixon. In 1970, LSD (also known as acid), DMT, MDA, psilocybin (“magic mushrooms”), psilocin, peyote (mescaline), and cannabis became Schedule 1 drugs under the United States Controlled Substances Act. This made recreational use illegal and prevented them being researched further, despite there being extensive research of their positive effects on the mind and psychological well-being. In 1990, psychedelic research began to slowly pick up again, but it wasn’t till 2009 that the first clinical trial of a psychedelic in 40 years took place in the UK.

With the contentious history of psychedelics throughout the 20th century, you may be wondering how they differ from other recreational drugs and what research significance they carry. Tune into our episode ‘Drugs 101: Psychedelics’ to find out more.

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to rumour,

whose name

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that can precede ‘number’,

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Comes down in

Artwork by Cosmo Bones

Scan the QR code to hear

positive sexual consent in action

city

Celebrating Grads with a $3,000 giveaway.

the graduating

Aro

The thing that causes the rough start to your week will ultimately lead to something entirely better in the first place. It’s a bit like missing a train but then running into an old friend you wouldn’t have seen otherwise.

I think you might be meeting the love of your life, Taurus. No, seriously. I won’t even try to explain all the astrological aspects and terms, etc... Just know that your horoscope is damn good this week.

Keep standing your ground Gemini. You don’t have to do ANYTHING you are uncomfortable with. It feels like you’re being put on edge this week, but it’s only because it’s time to cut the bullshit from your life.

The Salient Team

Why are the stars always so beautiful for you Cancer?

Something or someone at home is really supporting you with your mental health, and it’s really lovely to see you come out of your crab shell.

Slowing down is going to benefit you. That cheesy old saying “stop and smell the roses” was practically made for you. If you do, things will come into some much needed perspective.

It’s time to talk money. Mercury (the planet of communication) is moving into your house of finances, which means there’s a conversation you need to have with someone about the topic of $$$. Good luck.

LibraScorpioSagittarius

This week, you’re being seen and acknowledged (finally, I know). You’re a Libra, so you tend to be a peacekeeper and someone who gets along with others very easily. This week, that is especially true.

Someone you see on a daily basis makes you feel incredibly manipulated and you’re trying to keep your head down to avoid the drama. Tri’s about to finish, so hopefully that means the situation will resolve itself.

It might be in your best interest to stay out of trouble this week. I know what you’ll say: “But trouble always finds me! Not the other way around!” Excuses, excuses. Pick your moments.

Omg. Maybe you’re the one being shady towards Scorpio this week!

No, I’m kidding, but still, watch your tone and remember what your mama said about not saying anything if you have nothing nice to say.

You might be right in the mix of planning a trip away with friends over the summer. As per usual, you’ve been given all the work. Sometimes, Aquarius, I think your maturity is your downfall.

Your lack of decisiveness is causing problems in your private life. This better be something meaningless like not being able to choose a new duvet cover from the warehouse and not something gross like a love triangle.

This weeks funky centrefold was created by Joe Baker. You can find him on Instagram at @bakedlab or bakedlaboratory.com

Lauren

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Ibrahim

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