SALIENTSALIENT Sport
ISSUE 21
Complaints
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CONTENTS
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3. Learnt yoga from a white person
Don’t let my lack of athleticism deter you from reading our great features this week. Bridget profoundly links weightlifting to feminism, Maia encourages you to take up walking, Lauren interviews Brett from Jump Jam, and Roshi discusses how athletes are subject to online bullying.
Ngā manaakitanga,
Unless you competitively play badminton, playing the sport does not require a whole heap of physical exertion. But it can still be a lot of fun. I was on the badminton team throughout high school and I’d recommend it to anyone who is void of athletic prowess but is looking for a good time.
1. Watched cricket “for the culture”
Just because you suck at sport doesn’t mean you can’t exercise your competitiveness in other ways. Board games and beer pong are your friends.
Want in on the action but lack the skills to actually play? Appoint yourself as your favourite local team’s hype-man-water-boy-mascot-extraordinaire! Our teams are only as good as the support staff around them. While I don’t have the experience to be a coach nor the driver’s licence to drive the team van, I’m not above dressing up as a furry animal and fetching players Powerade. Theoretically speaking.
2. Played badminton
I like boy. Boy like talking about sport. I listen. Boy like me. Ta-da! With that being said, it’s always best to ask follow up questions instead of mindlessly absorbing sports chat, just to make sure you’re on the right track. Otherwise you’ll end up like me and mishear the basketball term ‘posterize’ as ‘pasteurise’.
6. Became a mascot (work in progress)
Newsrooms around the world have lost their shit because THE QUEEN DIED (!) and Salient’s news team is no different. We pay our (somewhat) respects to Her Majesty in our news section … only to showcase our favourite corporate tweets about her death in our culture section.
Also in news: tutors get offered peanuts by the uni, young people protest a disappointing conviction, and we profile two young candidates running in the local body elections. If you don’t get out there and vote, I will personally flatten you with my yoga mat.
5. Played ‘alternative sports’
How To Participate In Sports When You Have No AthleticEDITORIALProwess
4. Used my lack of sports knowledge as a way to flirt with people
To be Indian is to love cricket. I’ve watched every ICC Cricket World Cup since I was 11 and was also a dedicated fan of the Indian Premier League for a few years. Something about the Kohli-Gaylede Villiers trifecta from the Royal Challengers Bangalore really sucked me in. Is cricket boring? Sure. But I love the players, not the game.
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I am as unathletic as they come, but in honour of this week’s Sports Issue, I present to you some of the many ways I’ve attempted to engage with sports over the years.
GOSAVIJANHAVI(SHE/HER)
Yoga isn’t a sport, but damn is it hard. I attended two months of classes before promptly giving up. I joked that it was because my ancestors would be disappointed in me learning yoga from a white woman, but really it’s because I didn’t cut the mustard. I’m sure my ancestors would find that significantly more disappointing.
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Max Soar is the tutor representative for the VUW branch of the TEU and has seen two bargaining periods where tutors have been left with insufficient offers from the university. He says that the top pay bracket for tutors at VUW is lower than the entry-level pay bracket for tutors at Massey University.
Nicki Wilford, the TEU organiser, says that while the meeting may be disruptive for students, “staff feel undervalued by the offers” presented by the university and they need to harness their “industrial strength” while TEU members are on site.
Words by Beth Mountford (she/her)
“Frankly it’s embarrassing, I feel embarrassed to work with this university,” Soar said.
Wilford says the disparity between tutor pay at VUW and other universities is large, and nothing in the current offer from the university would help to address this. She says that TEU members across all bargaining collectives have shown “a lot of support about how shocking it is for the tutors.”
University Low-Balls Tutors
Many postgraduate tutors also earn below living wage. The starting rate for a postgrad tutor at VUW is currently $22.22, with the living wage sitting at $23.65.
6 News
On 21 September, the Tertiary Education Union (TEU) are holding a paid union meeting to discuss future action as part of the collective bargaining process. During this process, academic, general, research, and tutors’ collectives were bargaining for pay increases above the current CPI (inflation) rate, which is 7.3%. The current offer VUW has made for all collective members is disappointing.
The meeting is open to university staff from all four bargaining collectives—general, academic, research, and tutors—and will run from 10am to midday, stopping work for members to attend.
“The offers we have across the table are so insufficient and don’t address any of the issues that we’ve got,” she said.
She says that because tutors were bargaining at the same time as other collectives this year, they “can all stand together”.
The most respectful response came from a student who said they felt “empathetic for her whanau but feeling pukuriri re: [their] tipuna who’ve struggled and died” under her rule.
It is with a mixed sense of grief and vindication that we report on her passing.
The Green Party’s VUW youth wing used the opportunity to speak out against Her Majesty with a spokesperson telling Salient that “considering the Queen was an active participant in colonialism and racism I think people should care less that she died.”
As news spread of the Queen taking her final royal breath, Wellington was seemingly unfazed. Students still flocked to campus, buses were still delayed, and town was still on. The closest we got to a dramatic BBC radio announcement was a grief-stricken Mike Hosking sobbing into the microphone on Newstalk ZB.
As the sun sets on Liz’s reign, grief is seemingly absent on the campus of Te Herenga Waka—Victoria University of Wellington with students possessing a growing appetite for the fall of the monarchy.
Some notable early reporting from Salient included a segment from 16 May titled ‘Where’s The Queen At?’, which speculated that the monarch “may be on her last legs”.
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Flags on the Hunter Building were lowered to halfmast, with VUWs Facebook page expressing the university’s “deepest sympathies to the Royal Family”. Although Salient spotted a few sombre students sporting black mourning attire, the overwhelming sentiment from students was celebratory, with a strong anti-monarchy influence.
Words by Salient News Team
When asked if the university would offer no-questionsasked extensions to grieving students, the university was tight-lipped but said “students seeking additional support around situations they find difficult are encouraged to contact the same-day counselling team at Mauri Ora.”
Although some were surprised by the Queen’s kicking of the bucket, the Salient News Team speculated about Her Majesty’s demise months in advance. Knowing Liz’s days were numbered, we made the early editorial decision to dedicate extensive coverage to her demise in our ‘Headline Junkie’ section.
As New Zealanders awoke on the morning of 9 September, a sour smell of death was in the air as we learned of the passing of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II overnight.
While students celebrated the occasion with an antimonarch agenda, the university paid their respects with a spokesperson telling Salient that Her Majesty “was a much-admired and respected monarch, and a widely loved cultural figure, who is remembered for her dedication to the Commonwealth, her global travel as a woman leader, and her extraordinary commitment to life-long service.”
Queen Goneburger: Students React to a Fallen Monarch
Salient took to social media to ask readers how they felt about the Queen’s departure to the pearly gates and the responses did not disappoint. One student said they “went for beers to celebrate the old hag carking it”, another commented that they wished the monarchy would “die with her”, and another student simply remarked “happy about it”.
The announcement sent shockwaves around the globe, with mixed reactions from all corners of society. While royalists tearfully gathered by the gates of Buckingham Palace, others propagated conspiracy theories of the dead Queen’s reincarnation as Trisha Paytas’ unborn baby.
One student also commemorated the event by graffitiing a Kelburn campus toilet cubicle, writing in permanent marker “I was here when I found out queen
elizabeth died 9.9.22 RIP” accompanied by a simple illustration of a crown.
When asked what true justice would look like, RossJames said, “a much longer detention sentence [...] I think his ban on being around those under the age of 16 should be extended. And I also think that there should be some kind of fine against him or his family, including the girls getting professional therapy and the
Mia Beere, the organiser of Wellington’s protest, told Salient the march aimed to “support the young wāhine who are victims of the sexual abuse and violence they have gone through.”
Around 200 Wellingtonians, mostly young students, marched from Civic Square to Parliament on Saturday 10 September in outrage over rapist Jayden Meyer’s sentencing of nine months home detention. Meyer was convicted of raping four girls who were all under the legal age of consent. He was also charged with four counts of sexual violation and two counts of indecent acts according to a report from The Bay of Plenty Times.
To take action, Mia Beere encouraged protestors en-masse to call the Ministry of Justice and ask if any reconsideration could be made on the case. At Beere’s instructions, hundreds of protestors took their phones out and called. Following many minutes on hold, everyone who called was told the same thing: no comment could be made by the Ministry.
Wellingtonians March Against Court’s Decision to “Protect Rapist”
Beere added that protestors were united in a “stand against the judicial system, which did not give this man, or the victims, what they deserve.” She added that the system was “not at all fair” to women.
Words by Azaria Howell (she/her)
hoped the protest would send a message to the victims of Meyer’s offending, saying “the entire country is behind you. The entire country supports you. And not a single person thinks that this is okay.”
People across the country claim that justice has not been served in this case. Many of those protesting in Wellington were young girls, still in high school, marching together with a collective sense of outrage.
A represenative for Thursdays in Black, an anti-sexual violence campaign at VUW, told Salient “At Thursdays in Black we strive for a city that everyone can feel secure in and when sexual harm occurs we want victim/survivors to know that someone is pushing for change.”
help that they need after the harm has been done to Ross-Jamesthem.”
Multiple protests were held across the country, including a large march in the Bay of Plenty, where the offending occurred. Many Wellingtonian protestors stated that the sentencing of nine months home detention was “nothing” compared to the severity of the crimes.
CW: Rape, Sexual Assault.
8 News
Stevie Shaw, a young protestor, stated that the sentencing was “disheartening for other people who have gone through the same thing. They feel like they can’t speak up, because nothing’s gonna happen.”
Protestors marched down Lambton Quay to Parliament, with a chant of “What do we want? Justice! When do we want it? Now!” ringing through the streets of the central city. Many shop workers on Lambton Quay gave rounds of applause to the march, with one saying it was “so brave” as they walked past.
Once protestors arrived at Parliament, multiple speakers detailed their own personal stories to the crowd, mentioning an overwhelming “lack of support” from the Ministry of Justice.
Another protestor, Meredith Ross-James, told Salient the sentencing was “not good enough”, holding a sign that said “Shame on you Judge Harding”.
Beere hopes that the overwhelming number of protests across the country would encourage the courts to change their mind and think of the victims.
Candidate scorecards, rated by Renters United and Generation Zero, will be coming out in Week 11 before voting closes. These will help you compare candidates’ policies on key issues such as rental housing, Te Tiriti, and the environment.
Local body elections are looming! We’re here to convince you to not bin those voting papers when they turn up in the mail between 16-24 September.
News Team Editorial: For
Words by Salient News Team
Over the next few issues we are going to be profiling two Candidates of Interest™ per issue, detailing their top three policies, and what they will do for students.
Local government is important. The council makes vital decisions everyday about issues such as housing, public transport, and climate change. Too often those who get the cushy jobs around the council table don’t have our best interests in mind.
Reports of an impending shortage of olive oil has many taking urgent action to stockpile the delicious grease. Recent heat waves, drought in Europe, and a destructive bacteria disease have apparently affected olive crops. Salient knows of at least two Wellingtonians (who we’ve agreed not to name) who have taken action to hoard the lubricant.
Fuck’s Sake, Just Vote.
We have selected candidates to profile based on their perceived relevance to the student body. We’ll be interviewing those who are students, were recently students, or appear to have students’ best interests at Thisheart.coverage is by no means comprehensive and we implore you to look further afield before placing your vote (policy.nz is a really great tool where you can compare the policies of candidates).
VUWSA will be hosting a stimulating and scandalous mayoral debate on Friday 23 September in the Kelburn campus Hub ft. Andy Foster, Tory Whanau, and Paul Eagle. The debate has already caused controversy; VUWSA publicly uninvited candidate Barbara Mckenzie for her “racist and transphobic views”. The fun kicks off at 12pm with free food provided, and students are strongly encouraged to attend and heckle.
Countless Kākā Sing and Soar around Campus
As students, we are hugely affected by living in unaffordable, low quality housing, using unreliable and unsustainable bus systems, and inheriting a rotting, polluted planet. It’s crucial that we actually make an effort to vote for people who will try to make this city a better place for us.
The Government has ditched the current Covid Protection Framework in an extraordinary shake up to our pandemic response. The traffic light system was officially binned as of Tuesday 13 September. Widespread mask use and household contact isolation are no longer mandatory. National’s Covid-19 spokesperson Chris Bishop supported the move by tweeting a GIF labeled “happy dance”, but others, including The Green Party and disability advocates, say it leaves immunocompromised and disabled people at severe risk.
Headline Junkie:
Mayoral Debate to be Hosted in The Hub
Words by Ethan Manera (he/him)
We’ve also been doing a drunken deep dive into the mayoral top dogs, profiling the three candidates vying for the city’s big job.
Our landlords will be voting, so should we.
Predicted Olive Oil Shortage has Wellingtonians Stocking Up
A Bite-Sized Look Into the Big Stories
Over recent weeks, the song of our beautiful native parrot has more frequently echoed around Kelburn campus. The iconic bird was on the verge of extinction in Wellington, but thanks to conservation efforts by Zealandia ecosanctuary, their status has been “recovering” since 2002. One student told Salient that a recent sighting of kākā “gnawing” on a tree near campus “just made [them] feel so happy”.
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Traffic Light Scrapped, Receiving Mixed Reactions
As well as being a full-time public servant, Labour candidate Afnan Al-Rubayee is a mum and student campaigning for Pukehīnau/Lambton Ward.
Transport
Al-Rubayee says she is motivated by “giving back, reading people, and understanding people’s challenges,” and wants to see Wellington “flourishing…with inclusivity, diversity, respect, and upholding people’s mana.”
Words by Beth Mountford (she/her)
“I think my vision is to bring forth change in representation,” she said. “Seeing ethnic women on council is really empowering to young women and to wider society as a whole.” Despite being a Labour candidate, Al-Rubayee says she will uphold her own personal values and beliefs and is ready to “work across the board”.
Al-Rubayee says she would work towards research, evidence, and consultation-based transport systems. She is “100%” in support of free fares for all people,
Being a student herself, Al-Rubayee says “I’ve had that experience, I know what it means to be reliant on a very minimal amount of funds.” She says she would reach out and consult students rather than them having to go to her, as everybody’s student experience Al-Rubayeediffers.
Afnan Al-Rubayee
“The coolest way to transport around is actually buses, but we need to make sure that they are running properly, that they are resourced, that our bus drivers are safe,” she said.
Al-Rubayee says she has one car between five people in her family and can see the value in having a range of transport options available, “especially when you have a child and an elderly person in that family, or someone with mobility issues.”
Infrastructure
While the city’s infrastructure is a priority for AlRubayee, she views it as a necessity rather than a passion. She says she wants to make sure the basics are sound “so that we can actually focus on something really cool for once.”
Al-Rubayee’s third priority is infrastructure, saying that Wellington is currently “seeing the results of previous underinvestment”. She is in support of the Three Waters reform.
says she would work alongside VUWSA and other associations within the university “looking after the different cohorts of students, for example, the LGBTQIA+ community, the disabled community, within the student community as well.” She says that “minorities within minorities also need attention and need care.”
She says that making sure homes are warm, dry, and affordable is “literally the bare minimum that you can do.” She wants to “elevate [housing] to a human rights perspective” where “housing means homes, housing means families being raised…young parents being able to raise their children in a very safe home and really enjoy life, and really thrive.”
Al-Rubayee said she would support a rental warrant of fitness, and agrees that we are “100%” amidst a housing crisis, describing the current housing situation in Wellington as “dire”.
Of the Let’s Get Wellington Moving project, AlRubayee said “we have actually made such good progress with it…I think it would be really silly to let that go to waste.” She wants to “get it done and dusted so that we can focus on bigger and better things.”
Housing
She supports higher density housing and “making sure we do it right”. “People may complain about it being too expensive and too time consuming. But you cannot put a price on people’s well being and people’s growth,” she says.
and says bus drivers need to be paid a “really, really fair wage”.
In terms of what the council can do to aid this, AlRubayee says it needs to be reflected in urban design. “Making sure that community housing has community gardens, has green spaces, is welcoming and safe to different diverse communities.”
What She’ll Do For Students
10 News
Wi Neera believes he could make history by becoming the first Wellington City Councillor elected in a Māori ward. “There’s a real opportunity for a transformative candidate who dictates the way that the seat is going to work in future elections,” he said.
He says that there are some issues with the Let’s Get Wellington Moving project, but says it’s a “great start”.
“We can fantasise about beautiful colonial cottages that happen to be mouldy, leaky, and poorly insulated, but the reality is, I would rather a warm home than a pretty façade.”
Wi Neera also says increasing our coastal resilience is a “big one” in terms of his policy commitments. He says he would love to see a “zero waste, zero carbon” city.
When informed that the majority of the current council owns at least one home, Wi Neera joked “I think being a property investor should disqualify you from entering local government.”
Despite running on a Green Party ticket, Wi Neera is ready to negotiate across the council tables to “get things done”. He stated he is willing to work with anyone, regardless of politics, for the right outcome.
A vote for Nīkau Wi Neera comes with some nonnegotiables, as he remarked “I’m not going to sell out the climate and I’m not going to sell out Māori.”
Housing
Wi Neera states that housing density is one of his “top priorities”. He supports high-density housing in the central city, stating that surrounding suburbs should also opt for investment into medium-density dwellings.
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At just 23-years-old, Green Party candidate Nīkau Wi Neera is running for Te Whanganui-a-Tara, Wellington City Council’s first ever Māori ward.
To mitigate the housing crisis agreed to a four-part candidate pledge from tenant advocacy group Renters United. In this, Wi Neera has committed to the adoption of a healthy homes commitment, which would address issues of “warmth, dryness, and insulation” in housing across the city, including rental properties.
Wi Neera thinks it would be a “failure of the seat” if it ends up similar to Māori electorates in central government, as they “pretty much just get controlled by the Labour Party and just get chucked on with the backbench doing nothing.”
On the controversial issue of heritage housing, Wi Neera isn’t afraid to speak against keeping character homes. He took a jab at “NIMBYs”, often characterised by support of keeping character homes.
Nīkau Wi Neera
Wi Neera has pledged to support income-related rent subsidies, which would ensure that no one living in social housing would pay more than 25% of their income towards rent.
Wi Neera recently finished a Bachelor of Music from VUW. He says he “loved university, but immediately decided to career change” in pursuit of local politics. The campaign, as well as his multiple jobs, keeps him busy. Wi Neera jokes that it’s “pretty clear” he’s in the midst of a “quarter-life crisis”.
Words by Azaria Howell (she/her)
Māori Ward
Climate Change
Wi Neera wants the council to uphold and embrace cultural competency. He says that Wellington has the capacity to become “the indigenous capital of the world”. He stated that council-funded te reo lessons in libraries was a “good policy”, adding that “council should be pushing [diversity]”.
Wi Neera says that he is committed to bringing climate resilience to the council table, saying “in order to meet our climate targets, we have to pretty much slash our private vehicle usage by up to 50%. That’s going to be a really, really big job.”
CW: Mentions of Dieting, Weight Loss, Fatphobia.
LIFTING
There are two major styles of weightlifting. The style most familiar to the general public is powerlifting. Brydie Anderson is the North Island Vice President for the New Zealand Powerlifting Federation and says the sport is split into three major lifts: squatting with weight on the back, bench pressing weight above the chest, and deadlifting weight off the floor.
Existing in a body can be a bitch. Tending to our fickle needs is a minefield when society profits from undereducating and confusing everyone, especially women, on what feeling good means. Thankfully, an increasing number of us are shunning faux girlboss fitspo culture for the physical and emotional strength that is developed by pushing, pulling, and picking up heavy shit. The power of weightlifting as a sport and a feminist act is nothing short of transformative.
WhileOlympics.themotions
and strategies employed by these two sports are different, for participants they’re both about getting stronger and more comfortable within the body.
In contrast, Olympic-style lifting uses a dynamic technique that demands throwing and pulling weight as high as possible, according to Victoria University of Wellington student and Olympic lifter Maia Vieregg. This style combines two lifts into one motion, a ‘clean and jerk’ and a separate snatch lift. For the viewers at home, this is the style seen at the Summer
12 Features
The pursuit of strength isn’t encouraged in women. Maia remembers having a problem with her big muscles and feeling embarrassed if other people mentioned them. Sport New Zealand found that by the time girls are 17, the gender gap in sport
THE FEMINIST ACT OF
Taking care of ourselves can feel insurmountably disorientating. We’re bombarded by diet culture infographics, fatphobia wielded by marketers and mothers, and influencers using performance enhancing drugs. It calls to mind the work of activist Andrea Dworkin, who wrote in 1976 about the instinct to “resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships.”
LIFTING STUFF
This is fundamentally a feminist issue. Casey Johnston is a cultural critic and certified personal trainer. She directed health and lifestyle coverage at VICE before launching her excellent ‘She’s A Beast’ newsletter.
Words by Bridget Scott (she/her)
and recreation participation reaches 28%, and this trajectory continues as we grow older. This research found that this declining participation can be linked to “body image, judgement, time pressures, motivation, and loss of fun.” Lecturer in Health Psychology Dr Octavia Calder-Dawe notes that these are sociocultural causes that have “very little to do with the materiality of women’s bodies and everything to do with social norms and entrenched cultural practices.”
Talking to Salient, she explains that patriarchal forces intentionally alienate women from their bodies: “If they keep us at war with ourselves, dieting and losing weight and generally staying weak, we have
much less energy to ask the bigger questions about why we are afforded so little autonomy.” According to Dr Calder-Dawe, these forces manifest as everything from highly gendered uniforms, the fear of developing a “masculine” build, and the large scale social underinvestment and marginalisation of women’s sports.
Competing isn’t necessary to find value in lifting. But Brydie emphasises that it doesn’t matter whether someone is lifting 20 or 200 kilograms, they are welcome in the community. Competitions are special because weightlifting “is a competitive sport, but it’s also about competing against your own personal best.” Maia echoes this sentiment, saying “it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing or how long you’ve been lifting…everyone is just stoked that you’re there.” Interest in the sport is taking off—while organising an upcoming novice competition in Upper Hutt, Brydie found that all 54 competitor places sold out in 24 hours and a ten-person waiting list grew.
Lifting offers a pathway forward.
Feelingssport.
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If you’re interested in getting started in lifting, there are countless options. I can attest to the power of Casey’s book Liftoff: Couch To Barbell. It’s available online, and guides total beginners from bodyweight movements through to confidently handling a 20kg barbell and beyond. Locally, Maia suggests looking into one of the plentiful weightlifting clubs throughout the region and Brydie recommends simply talking to people. Despite their sometimes intimidating appearances, lifters are friendly, passionate people who love encouraging others to get involved in the
This was Maia’s experience. She started working out with her mum in a CrossFit gym as a teenager. It initially started as a jokey, “funny and weird” activity to do together. But the further she progressed, the more toxic the CrossFit gym became. The gym’s tendency to focus on pure performance made her feel uncomfortable and that “no matter what I achieved that day in the gym, it wasn’t enough.” She pivoted towards lifting instead and immediately started to feel better. Progress was catalysed by learning to feel attuned and aware of her body, and mastering the Olympic lifting technique, rather than blindly pushing herself harder.
“Lifting addresses the pain inflicted by the patriarchy through creating a practice whose motions re-teach us that we do have agency and control over our bodies”
describes the experience as incredibly uplifting, filled with crowds of spectators and fellow athletes getting loud, embracing the drama to support everyone.
of powerlessness, pain, and discomfort within one’s body are heartbreakingly universal among women. Engaging in activities like weightlifting that lead us closer to a state of embodiment is an important pursuit. In a world that intentionally feeds our insecurities, the process of becoming physically, mentally, and emotionally stronger is a worthy rebellion.
The mere act of weightlifting directly challenges the norms expected of women. It demands, in Casey’s words, “being strong, being loud, setting goals that centre ourselves and pursuing them.” Doing so addresses the pain inflicted by the patriarchy through creating “a practice whose motions re-teach us that we do have agency and control over our bodies.”
Emotionally, Maia loves the sport’s focus on strength and physicality. The disregard for aesthetics allows her to escape the mindset of working out to meet nebulous beauty standards and she feels confident knowing where her strength comes from. This experience is unique to lifting, which emphasises rest and recovery. When the prospect of hitting the gym doesn’t spark joy, Maia treats this as a sign from her body to take it easy. Lifting allows her a reprieve from the guilt and dread that is created by centering exercise around looking a certain way or ticking the everchanging boxes of ‘health’.
Developing this sense of comfort can be challenging, but doesn’t need to be a solitary process. Through her position on the New Zealand Powerlifting Federation’s executive, Brydie Anderson runs and competes in meets throughout Aotearoa. Both Maia and Brydie cite the lifting community in Wellington as a space where strength is celebrated. Brydie
Dr Calder-Dawe describes this sensation as having a sense of embodiment. Broader than body image, this term encourages us to “tap into sensory experiences, including what it’s like for you subjectively to occupy the body you are occupying.” For Casey, this manifested as learning that “I could trust myself and my own perceptions and needs to make something good…how I feel is and should always be a significant factor in how I make decisions.”
• Walking shoes (anything comfy will do)
LET’S GETWALKINGWELLINGTON
• Waterproof jacket
• Bucket hat
Words by Maia Ingoe (she/her)
• Sunblock
• Plenty of water (don’t underestimate the importance of hydration)
• Walking snacks and lunch (my faves are Tom & Luke’s Snackaballs)
It’s spring, and my manifestation for sunnier days is finally working. There’s no better time to get out and explore what Te Whanganui-a-Tara has to offer. I used to gawk at people who revelled in a good hike up a hillside, unable to think of a worse way to spend my time. But now I’m thoroughly hooked. Nothing makes me feel more alive and more proud of my body than spending my weekend walking one of the many beautiful tracks our city has to offer. I acknowledge that walking isn’t accessible for everyone, and many of the local trails aren’t built to accommodate many of our disabled whānau. But for those of us who are able to, fitness levels shouldn’t be a barrier to climbing up to an iconic photo spot. Te Whanganui-a-tara has walking trails both for those who spend their holidays climbing mountains and for those of us who’d rather spend our time horizontally. Here’s a list of my favourite walks within the region. Five out of six are accessible via public transport. Most of these walks come with a food recommendation because the reward is just as sweet as the journey.
Gear List
• Shirt for sun protection
• Phone to take pictures
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Finish it off with a swim in those cold Cook Strait waters to wash the sweat off. On a clear day, you can wave at the South Island across the strait. I feel spoiled to have such a beautiful coastal walk just half an hour from the city. While the Mākara Beach Cafe has permanently closed (RIP), a Jellytip from the Karori Park Dairy on the drive back hits the spot
02.
Mākara Walkway
9.1km, 3-4 hours
Escarpment Track
Mākara Walkway is a bit more difficult to get to—you’ll need to rope in a mate with a car—but it’s worth it. The track begins with a climb up to the best photo spot on this list, offering an incredible background of the blue bay and Mana Island. It’s unmarked, but be respectful when passing the Ngāti Ira pā site at the headland. After that, it’s smooth going for the most part, trekking through farmland, passing gun emplacements at Fort Opau, and winding down to the rocky beach. From there, it’s walking alongside the waves, passing calm pools and rocky outcroppings, all the way back to where you started.
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Tracking along the Kāpiti coastline between Paekākāriki and Pukerua Bay, you’ll have a stunning view of Kāpiti Island on your left and a steep cliffside on your right. The Escarpment Track ticks every box for me: expansive coastline, dipping in and out of bush, swing bridges, sunbathing skinks, and of course, a climb to the most iconic photo spot.
Skyline Walkway
7km, 4 hours
This track feels adventurous. To the left, you have a view of the Southern Coast, Mākara, and West Wind wind farms. To the right, the sprawl of Wellington City, from the harbour to Newtown. True to its name, Skyline Walkway feels like walking along the line between land and sky. The high point of this track is Mount Kaukau, offering 360-degree views and a windy picnic spot. Salient’s News Editor Azaria walked this track in ripped jeans and Doc Martens with a squished Subway packed for lunch, proving that you don’t need fancy gears to go walking.
03.
13.4 km, 5-6 hours
01.
This one starts at the back of Karori. If you live there, it starts from your doorstep. For those CBD dwellers, the track begins at the final stop on the number 2 or 18 bus. Walk up Mākara Road to reach the saddle, then follow the Wellington ridgeline, Te Wharangi, through scrub and farmland all the way to Carmichael Street in Johnsonville. At the end, stroll down to the centre of Johnsonville for an iced coffee.
You can start the track from either end, but I’d recommend beginning at Pukerua Bay. The beginning of the track threads through the edge of the suburb, following train tracks and through green farmland, before following along the cliffside of the coast. Top it all off with an ice-cream and swim at the coastal village of Paekākāriki. To get there, buy a Metlink Explorer pass at Wellington Station to get unlimited travel for the day. Catch a train to Pukerua Bay, then jump back on at Paekākāriki to return to Wellington. The Escarpment Track is one of the gems in Pōneke’s crown, and a must-do for anyone new to the region.
04.
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Te Ahumairangi is often placed second to Mount Vic, but not on this list. There’s no one way to walk Te Ahumairangi, as it’s packed with trails all leading to the top lookout. Three kilometres away from Zealandia, it’s a hotspot for native birds—a pair of tītipounamu chicks hatched there last year. You can begin your hike from the Botanic Gardens (highly recommend getting pancakes from the Picnic Café at the Lady Norwood rose gardens either before or after your walk). Walk up St Mary Street to reach the beginning of the Northern Walkway loop track, passing Elephant Rock and climbing the hill to the lookout and picnic area. I highly recommend this walk for a half-day adventure within the city limits for anyone with a passion to disappear under the treetops.
7.4kms, 2-3 hours
Te Ahumairangi Hill
05.
Mount Vic is the poster child of Wellington City Council’s tourism strategy. While I have been advocating for the wide range of stunning walks all around Te Whanganui-a-Tara, sometimes the best option for a dusty Sunday afternoon is a stroll up Mount Vic. You can begin from almost anywhere in the Mount Vic area, but the most straightforward option from any city flat is from Majoribanks Street, a straight walk up from Courtenay Place. Find your way up through the pine-forested trail to the lookout at the very top for an ideal photo spot with the harbour and CBD in the background. You can choose to come straight back down or take your time winding down Oriental Parade back to Courtenay Place. My must-do reward for a hill climb is a stop at Mount Vic Chippery to refuel with some much needed greasy carbs.
The Red Rocks Walkway follows the Southern Coastline from Ōwhiro Bay to the Red Rocks outcropping and further out to Sinclair’s Head. Enjoy the choppy waves and rugged rocks as you stroll along the flat coastline— no climbing to be found on this walk. If you have a car, you can drive right up to the carpark at the end of Ōwhiro Bay Parade, but it’s easy enough to catch a bus to Island Bay and walk for a little further along the Esplanade. It’s a beautifully rough walkway, with a clear view of the South Island if the day is good. On the way back, get yourself a treat from the Beach House and Kiosk on Ōwhiro Bay Parade, and finish the day with a swim at Ōwhiro or Island Bay. What more could you ask for?
Special mentions to the walks that didn’t make the list, but are just as worthy of exploring: the Brooklyn Wind Turbine, Ōtari-Wilton’s Bush, Zealandia, and Matiu/Somes Island.
1.5-3km depending on route, 1.5-2 hours
4.6km, 1.5-2 hours
Red Rocks
06.
Mount Victoria
actions, isn’t easy. They must be “fun, easy enough to learn but not boring, plus … have a fitness effect and challenge the students physically”.
The creation process for each dance has been the same since Jump Jam started. It takes a month or more to create the routines, then they’re trialed with various schools and age groups. Most are choreographed by Brett himself, but he gets help with Hip Hop moves, as he admits “(they) are not my specialty”. The booty shake from ‘The Coconut Song’ and those moves, yes those ones, from ‘The Witch Doctor’ were likely created by him! Putting the routines together, replete with child-friendly, iconic
Jump Jam hasn’t only expanded song-wise, but also to other countries. It turns out that schools in Australia and Asia are going hundies to the same music as kids in NZ. “Routines are loved everywhere actually, so there are no real cultural barriers”. When asked about the clear fusion of culture in various dances like ‘Kotahitanga’ and ‘Jeeneke Hain Chaar Din’, Brett said that the main reason they’re included is to encourage cultural awareness “as we live today in a culturally diverse world, [so] I think it is important to have a variety of cultural music.”
I gotta mention it *cue the drumroll*. We all know Covid-19 prevented kids from going to school due
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THE CREATOR OF THE OG KIWI SPORT SPILLS ALL
What are the songs being used in Jump Jam today? You might not have guessed, but the classics are still popping off! Brett says that “over 140 different songs are used, the most popular songs these days are ‘Freaks’, ‘Magik 2.0’, ‘A Little Party Never Killed Nobody’, ‘Bills’, ‘Shake It Off’, ‘Can’t Hold Us’, ‘Geronimo’, and ‘Uptown Funk’”. This is because schools start with kit #1, which has the OG songs. After trying it out, they get the option to get other kits which have modern songs. Since the OGs are well received, schools often stick with them. So unsurprisingly, “it’s still ‘Keep On Movin’, ‘Witch Doctor’, ‘Who Let The Dogs Out’, ‘Kotahitanga’, ‘The Coconut Song’, and ‘Candy Man’ that are the most well known and loved”.
So how did Jump Jam begin? Brett says that Jump Jam “started with my involvement with a TV series called Maraerobics from 1997-2002. I choreographed 99% of the routines and coached the young students aged 10-13 years-old to instruct. I saw a gap in the market to create my own school programme in 2000, hence the birth of Jump Jam”. As for the iconic name, there were no others in the ring. Brett, quite simply, said “the name came kind of quickly and no other names were considered”.
Words by Lauren Pemberton (she/her)
There was a sport that Kiwi kids did long before there were gym memberships and Zumba. I’m sure if you’ve grown up in New Zealand, the words “Jump Jam” will ring a bell. They’re a throwback to those simpler times when the school assembled on the playground to dance and shimmy to classic earworms like ‘Who Let The Dogs Out’, ‘Crazy Frog’, and ‘Blame It On the Boogie’. While many of her classmates dreaded Jump Jam and literally any form of physical activity, young Lauren Adored™ it. She got to dance, (tried) to sing, and lived her Barbieprincess-popstar dreams!
Now as a university student, I have questions. For one, is Jump Jam still going strong in NZ schools? Are kids still busting down to those possibly problematic songs like ‘Witch Doctor’, and ‘The Coconut Song’? I emailed Brett Fairweather, twotime World Aerobics Champion and Jump Jam creator, to spill the tea.
to quarantine, so I asked Brett about how it affected Jump Jam. Regardless of the restrictions, Jump Jam kept going (more specifically it could ‘Keep On Movin’’) through the creation of Level 4 lockdown routines. Although very successful, receiving “loads of positive comments, and thank yous”, Covid made the expansion of Jump Jam to other countries hard since it “slowed everything down here and overseas with many restrictions on exercising in schools.”
Rest assured former
So listen up Kiwi kids, Jump Jam is still going and it’s still a quintessential part of the NZ school experience. For Brett, Jump Jam wasn’t just a product of hard work, but a labor of love driven by his passion for helping kids discover their inner athlete. Jumping and jamming don’t have to remain a part of a bygone era; you could try out a Zumba class at UniRec or even give City Fitness Groove a go. You may not become a dancer extraordinaire, or a twotime Aerobics World Champion like Brett, but with some good music and some moves busted down every now and then, you won’t be too far off.
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Finally, I asked Brett what advice he would give to Salient readers, many of whom were kids who did Jump Jam in primary school. His simple advice was to “find something you LOVE to do that keeps you fit.” He hopes that “Jump Jam music, moves, and memories will stay with you all your life”. Brett added that when it comes to finding your passion, “every one of us has a unique talent to give the world but it is uncommon to find it. Surround yourself with positive people, literature, videos, blogs etc. Constantly invest in your personal growth, selfesteem, wellbeing and you may just find your gift to share with the rest of us.” How wholesome.
ONLINE ABUSE HURTS SPORTS:
This is a growing problem, and professional teams are searching for solutions. Premier League football side Liverpool recently hired a mental health consultant for their players, specifically to deal with social media. A pressing issue is that marginalised groups are disproportionately affected. Countless reports find that levels of social media abuse
increase for minorities. Black English footballers received torrents of racist messages after three Black players missed penalties in the Euros final last year, and a World Athletics study found that 87% of all abuse targets female athletes.
I messaged All Blacks flanker Luke Jacobson last year to see if he could settle a bet. He replied promptly to say no, he doesn’t watch Rick and Morty, but loves Family Guy. The same evening, he played a match which saw the most successful sports team of all time retake the number one spot in the world rankings. Yet he still responded to this random query from a fan. If you’re a Kiwi, you might be lucky enough to have had a similar encounter with a star.
Athletes are inundated with messages on social media. Anything that requires investment, like your favourite netball team or couple on Love Island, inspires emotion when things don’t go your way. This closeness means some fans cross the line into online abuse. Social media has an enormous impact on abuse in all its forms. Netsafe tells us 46% of Kiwi teens have experienced cyberbullying—and athletes are particularly susceptible. Sports present a clear distinction between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ performances, making it easy to hone in on players’ flaws. The same connection which encourages positive interactions also indulges our darker side.
The intensity of fan-player connections has never been higher. The best way you can combat hate is by calling it out. Report abuse if you see it on social media. Remember that players are not robots— sports is their job, their passion, and we should be thankful for their role in our community. Keep your emotions to on-field action, and don’t let them affect your actions post-game. Doing this will help us foster a safer, healthier environment where our sporting heroes might just be kind enough to keep answering our trivial questions.
Words by Roshi Sneyd (he/him)
CW: Cyberbullying, Racism.
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New Zealand Can Do Better
New Zealand sport is not immune. The All Blacks and their coach Ian Foster have received unprecedented vitriol during their recent slump, including death threats. Last season the Wellington Phoenix, who usually have a model fanbase, reported the first instances of fans posting abusive messages. These athletes may be your heroes. But they are people too. Nowhere is that clearer than New Zealand, especially Wellington. Our size means you see superstars at the supermarket. Ardie Savea, running down Cuba Street in jandals, once gave me a twenty while I was busking. Rugby is a proud part of our national identity. If we vilify the players who represent us on that pitch, what does that say about us as people?
*Terms and conditions apply $3,000GradsCelebratingwithagiveaway. We’re celebrating the graduating class of 2022. Register with MAS as a 2022 Grad, and get free advice on KiwiSaver and insurance for the chance to win $3,000*. Register at mas.co.nz/grad2022
Soft Femme Sweats, Sara Moana, 2022.
Some of the tweets regarding the death of the monarch were strange, to say the least. Here are the best ones we found.
PEPPA PIG
JIMMY’S EMPORIUMDILDO
Wholesome British children’s television show Peppa Pig marked the death of the royal in an interesting way, depicting Her Late Majesty playing in muddy puddles with Peppa herself. While cute on face value, Elizabeth II was depicted in a similar way to Mummy Pig, Peppa’s mother, implying that the late royal was somehow related to Peppa Pig. Not sure how that’s possible, though there could be rumours of an affair on the cards. One mourner replied to the tweet with “Peppa I’m so sorry for your loss”, further implying that Peppa Pig was actually real. Lots to uncover here.
Deal alert! IGN UK Deals did not mourn the death of Queen Elizabeth II, instead opting for a budget-friendly way to deliver the news to consumers wanting to save a few dollars. Interested buyers were encouraged to use the promo code ‘RIP’ to get a sweet deal of 15% off a Funko Pop of the royal.
IGN UK DEALS
COMPANIES COMMEMORATE QUEEN CARKING IT
DOMINO’S PIZZA
Jimmy’s Dildo Emporium had a respectful remark on Her Majesty’s passing, despite a pink phallus profile picture accompanying the sombre message. Out of respect, the Dildo Emporium has not tweeted since the news broke.
24 Culture
When the words “the Queen died peacefully at Balmoral this afternoon” hit newsrooms across the world, brands and celebrities were quick to comment on the passing of Her Majesty.
I doubt the royal family has ever tasted Domino’s Pizza. They’re known for their value range meal deals at unbeatable cheap prices, something Her Majesty has never had to worry about. Regardless, Domino’s’ UK branding went all black in mourning.
HONOURABLE MENTIONS
The notable celeb and woman who sung “It’s H-I-L-T-O-N, bitch, I’m fucking Paris” mourned the death of the late Queen by quote tweeting the original announcement from The Royal Family, adding that Her Majesty was “the original girl boss”. The tweet was complete with the crown emoji and broken heart emoji to show her true feelings—a picture paints a thousand words.
Crazy Frog, known for sporting a tiny cock and riding a motorcycle in the world’s most annoying music video (second only to perhaps “The Gummy Bear Song” from the same era) tweeted three simple words: “R.I.P The Queen”. A touching candle emoji was added after the sentiment. This tweet wasn’t all that strange, it’s just weird to think that someone could’ve found out this historically significant news from an animated blue frog.
PARIS HILTON
The team at CrossFit UK decided to mourn the death of the Queen whilst making sure you got your daily workout in. The “Queen Elizabeth II” workout regime started with 70 jumping lunges, one for each year she reigned as monarch, and ended with 96 double unders to celebrate each year of her life. As a rest halfway through the exercise, CrossFitters were encouraged to spend a one respectful minute rest “in silence”. The post has since been deleted due to hate comments, but don’t worry, Salient got a screenshot.
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CRAZY FROG
CROSSFIT UK
The Law Revue cast and crew can still rejoice. They managed to put together three hilarious nights of entertainment, the first of which was enjoyed right before Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II took her last breath. I heard the joke about Gilead wanting to fuck the Queen was respectfully changed to him wanting to fuck Margaret Thatcher instead. Unfortunately this isn’t nearly as funny. But I’m sure it was still a great show, and I know that anyone who witnessed Fynn Sawyer’s portrayal of Gilead’s multiple personalities (à la Smeagol and Gollum), which included his mother and brother, would say it was one of the most memorable performances they had seen in a long time.
The premise was as follows: When Tyler and Frankie return from law camp…they learn a vengeful ex-Vice Chancellor named Grant Gilead and his evil band of cronies, including among others Elon Musk, Kim Kardashian, Ellen Degeneres, and Boris Johnson, have blown up Parliament and named the country ‘Wellington University of Wellington of Wellington, New Zealand’. The “La Resistance” were the good guys in the show: a rebellious group of military-vibe law students out to defeat Gilead. Yes, they did win in the end, and celebrated with a big musical
Te Herenga Waka’s annual Law Revue was on at the prestigious Memorial Theatre from 8-10 September. It was a spectacular celebration of the idiotic undercurrent of Aotearoa New Zealand’s politics, the infamous university name change debate, and the saviour complex that law students have.
Althoughnumber.
the run time was a whopping 2 hours 40 minutes, there were many highlights. I was greatly impressed by the uncannily impressive (and slightly creepy) impressions of well-known politicians such as Jacinda Ardern, Judith Collins, and Chris Luxon. All of the dancing was excellent. The adaptation of ‘Cell Block Tango’ to introduce Hillary Barry, Paddy Gower, Suzy Cato, and Mike Hosking, who had just been defrosted from the basement of the TVNZ building, was a definite crowd favourite. Most of my laughs came from the unassuming and subtle moments of comedy, such as the introduction of Svetlana the dominatrix from Newtown (who had
SALIENT’S SALIENT REVIEW OF LAW REVUE
On that note, there was a tendency throughout the show for punchlines to be explicitly told to the audience. A character with a tie around his head ran in and hit someone with a baseball bat at the mention of King’s College, only for the ensemble to cry “Sam Uffindell!” It’s often funnier when audience members have to put two and two together, and shows the writers have trust in their audience’s brain cells. We didn’t need everything fed to us. We also didn’t need to witness the drier skits of the show, such as a ram being stolen from a farm to depict a “ram raid”. Cutting them out would have saved painful moans from the audience and would have meant I could get an earlier night.
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an appointment with Judith Collins), and a skit about two girls having an orgasm to a flat inspection.
Words by Tessa Keenan (Te Ātiawa; she/her)
MIDNIGHT CONFESSIONS
to French kiss, Harry Styles Wattpad fanfiction, chats about first sexual experiences, “heartbeats in their private parts” (perhaps what we now know as ‘fanny flutters’), and helping a friend take out their menstrual cup.
As the performers informed us in the end, sleepovers defined girlhood. They defined the era of our lives that mainstream media often undermines and trivialises. Directed and written by a powerhouse team of four young women, Midnight Confessions is truly a celebration of women and girls, redefining the gravity of our stories one menstrual cup at a time.
Midnight Confessions felt like a Jacqueline Wilson novel, The Baby-Sitters Club, a 2000s Disney Original, and Fleabag all jam-packed into one.
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Words by Joanna Fan (she/her)
THEATRE REVIEW:
Midnight Confessions is a devised anthology piece of experimental theatre by the team at Heartbreaker Productions. Inspired by Caryl Churchill’s play Love and Information, it is written, directed, and performed by VUW alumni Abby Lyons, Alia Marshall, Anna Barker, and Mia Oudes. The 2022 season ran at BATS Theatre from 23-27 August.
The core of the show truly lay within each of the girls’ confessions. Whilst the others sat and watched, alternating performers grabbed a mic and positioned themselves centre-stage, breaking the fourth wall and speaking to the audience. In these monologues there were relevant, painful, awkward, touching, and often too-relatable discussions around eating disorders, depression, friendship troubles, and sexual awakenings. They conveyed the nitty-gritty of girlhood that isn’t polished, picture-perfect, or curated for the mainstream (and often male) gaze. Though sometimes unclear, the scenes spanned across different ages. From a childhood crush on Shego from Kim Possible (same), to football camp, to a long awaited kiss, these snapshots captured a lifetime of ever-evolving sleepovers—sleepovers as friendship, sleepovers as therapy, sleepovers as feminine connection, sleepovers as solidarity.
All signs were pointing to a sleepover. So obviously, it had to begin with MARINA’s 2012 hit ‘How to Be a Heartbreaker’, nostalgic of alt-Tumblr era or our first experiences as a director on VideoStar. The show followed a plethora of other slumber party festivities—made up dances, practising how
The theatre was violet. The colour we choose in defiance of pink, the colour of subtle femininity, the colour of girlhood. The soft hue spilled in from the corners of the black box theatre and illuminated the entire space, drowning us in purple for the entire show. White sheets made up most of the set, draped from the ceilings and lining the stage floor to make it look like a canopy-bed-cum-pillow-fort. The performers were comfortable on stage in pyjamas, their belongings messily strewn across the sides—a few backpacks, a book, and what seemed like a million pillows. I am still in awe of their ability to transform a typically hollow and frigid space into a safe haven where I wanted to join them on stage and just lie down.
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Many of us can relate to having a breakup, and it’s shit. Corduroy. encourages listeners to enter summer embracing freedom instead.
A REVIEW AND INTERVIEW WITH CORDUROY.
OZONE:
Words by Darcy Shaw (she/her)
Corduroy.’s new track ‘Ozone’ is thawing out the Wellington winter in time for spring. Albeit a struggling relationship, agonising in the library, or a call with the rents, ‘Ozone’ is a complete liberation from stress.
The track begins with the chitter-chatter of a day kicking back with your mates, with a saxophone interrupting the conversation and jump starting the instrumentals. Enter drums, guitar, keyboard, and bass, each slamming into the song with no foot on the breaks.
The vocals pierce your eardrums with exhilarating freedom: “I’m better without ya/ You can’t keep me down cause/ Cause I’m flying through the ozone.” Hannah Flack’s voice ripples Ozone’s mantra; breaking up isn’t the end, but the beginning of endless potential.
Lay down in the grass, read a novel, eat a picnic in the sun, and don’t pick up your laptop. Summer is almost here, and so is ‘Ozone’. Since forming in 2017 as bassist Riley Barrett calls “some illegitimate child of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers and the Arctic Monkeys”, Corduroy. has entered the stage of funk, disco, and modern pop, creating a unique local sound.
Keep your eyes and ears on Corduroy. They’re playing upcoming gigs at local venue Meow, as well as other Aotearoa venues such as Yonder (Queenstown) and Totara Street (Mount Maunganui).
Another thing to embrace is the lyricism. Just as your serotonin starts to dip, Lil Spoon comes on the mic with a classic kiwi rap. I won’t give too many lines away, but a personal favourite is: “Bird in the hand I call that shit chicken fingers.”
Corduroy. had unconventional beginnings: “Our guitarist Will had been in Rockquest with our past lead singer Rosie. I [Riley] got recruited after a drunken interaction with Will and Dean at Maccas, and the rest was history. We have chopped and changed members like it was going out of fashion.” Their upcoming EP is a massive leap for Corduroy., with ‘Ozone’ being released on 12 August and the remaining three songs being staggered a month apart. Riley said “the [EP] themes are intertwined, but the outlooks are different song by song. This feeds into the notion that emotions are never clear cut, nor mutually exclusive.” ‘Ozone’ was recorded last September in Matt Mullholland’s studio. “We were a little tipsy and all started trying some freestyle raps over the beat for the heck of it. After that, it was a matter of translating it into a live medium and recording the track.” Riley gave me a peek at some of Corduroy.’s upcoming songs ‘Backup Guy’ and ‘Stop’. The final track released in December is a surprise. Corduroy. isn’t stopping there: “with this new EP coming out we hope it’ll give us some more momentum. Our long term goal is to build up enough of a presence that we can do an Australian tour next year.”
Cyst ruptures are obviously very painful. When I talk about being disabled and having chronic pain, there is a focus on the physical side. I wasn’t expecting the grief I experienced from losing the ability to practice martial arts.
I’ve been told that grief is normal. Most other disabled people I’ve talked to also know the experience I’m talking about. It’s something able bodied people fundamentally do not understand. While able-bodied people can sympathise with me, what you should and shouldn’t say to me is an absolute minefield.
I’ve been asked how I cope with being disabled, and the truth is I don’t really. I don’t think about what I can’t do. How am I supposed to feel knowing my body isn’t working the way it should?
I have to deal with everything. It’s my reality. If there was a way to not be disabled, I’d take it in a heartbeat. Whatever the cost was, I’d pay it. There is no competition. I’m not like this for a journey to improve myself, it just is what it is. There is no higher cause for what happens other than that my body isn’t designed for a pain-free existence.
especially when just a few years ago I was so healthy. Luckily, I was too physically exhausted to overthink it and just gladly accepted the help. It still felt like such a fall from grace.
I don’t think many people know that I was a professional martial artist. I was working in a dojo and training seven days a week. Six of the days were fourteen hours long. It was amazing. Dojos have the best atmosphere. Everyone is there for their own goals, but people always want to work their hardest. It was normal for there to be blood on the mats. Frequently it was mine. I wouldn’t let my body interfere with my goals, and being exhausted after class was how I knew I was working hard.
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Don’t Call Me Strong
I don’t tend to talk about this part of my life, or if I do, I turn it into a joke about how being lazy is easier than doing sport. If I talk about this as an enormous part of myself that I no longer have access to, I will start crying. I miss it so much. It’s easier to not think about it.
Fitness is not something you either have or you don’t. It’s a tool in being healthy, yes, but it’s not a magic cure-all. Unless someone is asking for advice, don’t comment on their lifestyle, because life isn’t going to be amazing all the time. We just have to accept that.
Words by Teddi (they/he/she)
When I returned back to New Zealand from Japan to finish my degree, I went back to the VUW Taekwondo club (which I highly recommend, they are all so lovely). Unbeknown to me, a new medication I was on gave me cysts. One kick to my abdomen near the end of class caused a cyst to rupture. After that, I couldn’t bring myself to go back to class and risk another rupture.
I had to use a mobility aid for the first time earlier this year. Accepting that I needed help with walking more than a hundred metres was really hard,
Don’t call me strong.
We now bear witness to stoppages every five minutes, which ultimately makes an 80-minute game longer than the Lord of the Rings trilogy. All that extra time and Justin Marshall still sucks at commentating a rugby match. Pre and post match commentary is dead with out of touch and conservative punditry, it’s almost like hearing David Seymour give a sporting opinion. The biggest pitfall is the new generation of complacent players resulting from mountains of past wins. Too many kicks, too many restarts, too much time not playing the game.
Words by Normaan Mohammed (he/him)
Kia ora, it’s been a while. Christ on a cracker, what is happening to rugby union!? After watching a string of losses copped by the All Blacks this year, we thought we might give our two cents (even though nobody asked).
Norm’s mum once had a 20-minute nap during an All Blacks game, only to wake up and realise she didn’t miss a damn thing.
SALIENT PODCASTS
You’re probably thinking to yourself “the Warriors lose every week.” Well the All Blacks are too now, so same deal. Watch a game of rugby union then a game of league. We guarantee your eyes will be glued to the screen.
Rugby league has everything rugby union needs to be relevant again. Big hits, end-to-end action, no rolling mauls or constant scrum resets, players taken off straight away for HIA testing so it doesn’t consume the run of play, some big unit running it straight to a poor fullback and folding him like a deckchair, and passion. No wonder the Warriors are winning the Telstra Premiership in 2023.
But ultimately we think it’s the sport of rugby union itself that’s to blame. It has become rather boring, uninteresting, and full of bullshit rules.
Gone are the days of fast-paced action and intensity, Nehe Milner-Skudder side-stepping the entire opposition into another universe, Ma’a Nonu breaking the line like he’s been given whatever drugs Joseph Parker was selling with Manu Vatuvei that one time, or Piri Weepu coming in clutch at the 2011 World Cup.
Rugby and Our Last Hoorah - The Dusty Sunday Session
It’s fair to say the All Blacks losing a test series to the Irish on home soil for the first time in over a century, losing to the Springboks, losing to the Aussies, and losing to Argentina for the first time ever is the proverbial shit in every tried and true New Zealanders bowl of cornflakes. Although it’s meant to point fingers to head coach Ian Foster, we believe he’s partially the reason—if he wasn’t shit at his job, the ABs wouldn’t be losing.
On a more serious note, this is the last article from us at TDSS, supplementing our final episode for the podcast simply titled ‘Over and Out’. The three of us have finished with our study at Te Herenga Waka, and with this comes retirement and farewell from the podcast scene. From putting boomers in the Hunger Games to mental health awareness, we have talked about it all and enjoyed every minute. We’d like to thank Fran, Matt, and the team at Salient for their help and undying support through the highs and lows, all our guests who chatted obscene amounts of shit with us, and everyone who has listened to our Ngāepisodes.mihi and go the fucking Warriors, The Dusty Sunday Session
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PASIFIKA STUDENTS’ COUNCIL
Manti describes these pillars as fundamental aspects of life which are born from discipline. Through discipline, we achieve and dominate. An interchangeable skill which leads to interdisciplinary success, whether it be in school, sport, conflict, or even the workplace. Discipline might be inherited through our genetics, but I suspect it’s our resilience and our ability to honour the needs of God and community before our own. We’re not only the perfect athletes, but the perfect team players. These pillars may not apply for everyone, but they are a template for areas of strength we already possess. A performance on the field, as well as the stage, can be offered in glory to God. If you do not believe in God, that does not mean you live life without compassion and strength. We might not be the perfect Islanders in our parents’ eyes, but we share their strength, their wisdom, and passion to achieve in our own way for them. Whether it be with sports or something else. These are your skills, and we give glory to those who passed them onto us. They are just as transferable as you are limitless. That is why they desire to be like you.
Manti Te’o, Notre Dame Linebacker, found his strength in his faith and for his family. In the muchpublicised Netflix special Untold: The Girlfriend Who Didn’t Exist, Manti says “faith, family, football” are his Hawaiian ohana’s three pillars, characterising our shared values across the Pacific. Manti plays football in the same way I was taught to dominate the field: with a free, fast, and physical game, while remembering to pass the ball. To succeed as a unit, there is no room for your ego. Selfishness sticks out like a sore thumb on the field. When a few players prioritise their success over the team, it slows down
My family has a saying: “God, family, sport—in that order.” Our three pillars which ground us and nourish the Va for a shared success beyond our own interest. Every Christmas in Tāmaki Makaurau, my uncle shares the same story.
God, Family, Sports
plays, allows the other team’s defence to tighten, and causes injuries.
As the sun descends, we young ones are called from the kitchen to listen to the well-known truth—Pacific Islanders (uncle did say Samoan, but you know what Samoans are like) have the best athletic genetics in the world. We erupt into laughter. My uncle meets our eyes; it’s clear this is no joke. This is why the Americans annexed us and why the Germans invaded our homes, to breed us for the genetic advantages they desired to possess. The facts may be dubious, but I believed it. I still do. How could I deny this advantage when the proof was looking me in the eyes? Uncle, a NZ gridiron player. His eldest brother, father to my two cousins who had represented NSW in State of Origin. Sitting alongside him was his Mr NZ bodybuilder brother and netball playing baby sister. Tall and broad, strong but quick. Agile, tactical, and determined. You couldn’t deny the athletic power these towering 50-year-old brown men and women still possessed. I could see this power, and understood that this power also sat within me. It may be dubious, but I believed it. I still do.
31www.salient.org.nz
The VUWSA Student Executive is elected each year by the students of Vic. You’ll see the Exec on campus, hosting events, rallying students and in the media voicing student issues.
The VUWSA Exec are here to stand up for social issues, advocate for better learning standards & ensure the student voice is included in crucial university decisions.
EXECUTIVEVUWSA 2023NOMINATIONS
VUWSA
ClubsEducationEquitySustainabilityCampaignsTreasurerWelfareEngagementAcademicPresidentVicePresidentVicePresidentVicePresident/SecretaryOfficerOfficer&WellBeingOfficerOfficer&ActivitiesOfficer ROLESEXEC
Empowering communities:
- Engaging students and centering student issues in the General Election
I’m Jess, a child of Chinese immigrants, LLB/BA student and very excited to run to be your next VUWSA president!
- Fostering whanaungatanga, accountability and support in relationships with rep groups
- A Te Tiriti-informed, intersectional approach to campaigning to platform the diversity of students’ lived experiences and equitably share resources
- Advocating alongside student rep groups for the University to build up their capacity
- Bolstering campaigns for Universal Education Income and Student Debt-Free Futures
Ko Jess tōku ingoa, nō Taina ōku tīpuna, he tangata tiriti ahau.
-Engagement:Acomprehensive, proactive and two-way engagement plan to connect students to VUWSA and rep groups’ advocacy in Uni spaces
- Better visibility of VUWSA initiatives and services
Kia Ora – I’m Finley (he/him) and I want to foster inclusive education, accessibility of university resources, and social equity across our university.
My institutional knowledge deeply informs the vision I have for 2023. VUWSA needs to campaign HARD against the daily stressors on students’ lives. Rent makes up 56% of students’ weekly incomes. ⅔ of students regularly don’t have money for basics. It’s overwhelmingly clear that VUWSA not only needs to lobby University leaders, but take its campaigning to parliament lawns and political leaders.
university to do better on this front.
I have a lot of experience working strategically with advocacy groups, including as a trustee for the Hawke’s Bay Breast Cancer Trust, youth councils for the Irish and U.S embassies, the Wellington and Hastings Youth Councils, and an executive member of Thursdays in Black. I have also pioneered a number of tutoring groups aimed at helping all students, including those with cognitive impairment.
- Upholding Te Tiriti and strengthening our partnership with Ngāi Tauira
Jessica Ye for PRESIDENT
I am passionate, trusted, caring, and motivated to make positive difference, and want to bring this through by engaging with all parts, small and large, of the student community.
I am an able communicator, leader, and team-player. He waka eke noa.
My key focuses are:
- Increase awareness and engagement of celebrations for diverse groups.
I want to:
Kia ora koutou!
I pride myself on my ability to consider and account for people with learning differences and want to encourage our
Collective action:
Don’t get me wrong - I will not compromise on the quality of our internal advocacy in Uni spaces. However, these engagements can be much more efficient. Moreover, the big challenge is that students generally don’t understand what the fuck VUWSA does in these internal spaces. I will confront this head-on through an engagement plan. We need to show the fight. We need to proactively and dynamically inform students of VUWSA’s advocacy, so students know we’ve got their backs, and hold us accountable if we don’t.
- Work with other community organisations in the Wellington region.
As your Academic Vice-Pres this year, I’ve advocated for students across various academic issues - including assessment policy, lecture recordings, digital invigilation, cultural competencies, treatment and remuneration of student reps and the future of learning and teaching. It’s been a hell of a deep dive into VUWSA’s internal fights with the Uni!
Finley Duncan for ACADEMIC VICE PRESIDENT
Vote Jess for VUWSA President :)
- Advocate for different learning and teaching methods from our university.
- Improve access to long-term counselling and reduce fees for international students.
Te Reo Māori: hākinakina Word of the Week: Sport New Zealand Sign Language: Sudoku SPLENDID 85 Ghuznee St, Te Aro, Wellington www.splendid.nz@splendid.nz 40 Entertainment
24. The best-selling album of all time Title of 1A (8)* Depressed donkey from the Hundred Acre Wood (6) Gaslight, ______, Girlboss (8)
30.
Scan the QR code for puzzle answers: Down 1. Legend (4) 2. Domain (5) 3. Rainbow shape (3) 4. Nickname for 21A (7)* 6. End of a prayer (4) 7. Type of synthetic fabric (10) 9. Spice Girls hit where they tell you what they want, what they really really want (7) 11. Gloriavale, for example (4) 12. Cartoon drawing which exaggerates certain characteristics (10) 14. Sign between Cancer and Virgo (3) 15. Shih ___ dog (3) 16. Domain of work of an agent (7) 18. Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign slogan, I’m with ___ (3) 19. Choose (3) 20. Wild party, not that I’d know as I’ve never been invited (3) 22. Car safety device (6) 23. Singer with the hit albums “19,” “21,” “25,” and “30” (5) 25. Someone who espouses falsehoods (4) 26. QUICKLY (1,1,1,1) 28. Indebted to (3) 1. With 15A, first female British Prime Minister * 5. Wage disparity, notably along gender lines (3,3) 8. See 1A (8) * 10. Nickname of 1A (4,4) * 13. Manipulates (5,7) 17. Honorific style of 1A (5,10)* 21. Political party of which 1A was the leader (12)*
29.
27.(8)
Crossword:Word#GIRLPOWERWheelAcross How many words can you make with these letters? All words must contain the letter in the centre circle. N OU E S R D A G 41www.salient.org.nz
I’d be telling you off for partaking in retail therapy right now, if I wasn’t so guilty of it myself...oh well. You could be spending your money on worse things, I guess.
An epiphany regarding study! Maybe you’ve decided not to freak out about your study coming to an end, or you’re gonna make a change to next year’s plans. Either way, it’s nice to see you relaxed.
Attention is on you and whatever it is you have to say, and it’s about damn time, because you’ve been repeating yourself for who knows how long.
Repeat after me: Two-minute noodles are not a nutritional meal (so please stop living off them).
You’ve been mooching off your friends a lot. Ew, gross, Scorpio. And stop pretending like you don’t have any money either. Having no money and spending all your money on payday are two different things.
Your energy this week is the same as doing heaps of hours and work and then spending a lot of money because you’re getting a fat paycheck but like, you haven’t actually got the money yet.
Your dating life is...interesting right now. I love seeing you experiencing the unconventional (that’s pretty unusual for a Taurus)! However, it’s important to always remember your boundaries and stay safe.
42 Entertainment
Ever thought of changing your look? You’re an Aquarius, of course you have. This week you’re experimenting with boxed hair dye and cutting (slightly wonky) bangs. Lmao. Looking good as usual.
I’m all for you having a love life Sag, but I can tell you’re the type to have a crush on someone just because your friend does. No pretty face is worth the price of a friendship.
I see you setting goals that are outside work and study. You want something that’ll challenge your mind and body. Think: running a marathon or tramping with your mates. Time to challenge your recent fatigue!
Aries Cancer Taurus
LibraScorpioSagittarius
Leo Virgo
Looks like you need to have “the relationship talk” with somebody. It’s scary and I can feel you resisting. But what’s the alternative? Want to be stuck in a situationship for the rest of your life?
Pisces Gemini
Capricorn Aquarius
It’s important not to rush straight back into routine if you’ve taken time off recently. I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this, but take it easy and remember that Cs get degrees...
Editor
SalientTheTeamContributorsYou can thank these people for your weekly fix. Contact Us news@salient.org.nzchiefreporter@salient.org.nzdesigner@salient.org.nzeditor@salient.org.nzpoetry@salient.org.nzfeatures@salient.org.nz Niamh ElisapetaVaughnDawsonRoshiSneyd LaurenDarcyJoannaPembertonFanShaw NormaanTeddiMohammedJuliaCorston Centrefold Artist This week’s strong centrefold is brought to you by: (Ngāti Tamaoho, @saramoanaTainui) 43www.salient.org.nz
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