Issue 07 Test

Issue #7

Volume 81

Mental Health

Lifting the Veil – Pg 16 A Winter with the Phoenixes – Pg 18 There is a Better World (There Must Be) – Pg 26

CONTENTS EDITOR'S LETTER 3 NEWS News 4 Politics 7 Opinion 8 *News* 12 LETTERS & NOTICES 15 FEATURES Lifting the Veil 16 A Winter with the Phoenixes 18 How to Get Some Help 21 Fully Booked: More Shrinks Needed in Student Health 22 There is a Better World (There Must Be) 26 Cheap and Free Mental Health Services 29 CENTREFOLD 24 COLUMNS Presidential Address 30 VUWSA 30 Super Science Trends 31 SWAT 32 Access Denied 32 The “F” Word 33 PSC: One Ocean 33 NT: Te Ara Tauira 34 UniQ: The Queer Agenda 34 In Our Environment 35 REVIEWS Art 36 Film 37 Television 38 Music 39 Books 40 Podcast 41 Theatre 42 Food 43 ENTERTAINMENT Horoscope 45 Distractions 46

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EDITOR'S LETTER MENTAL HEALTH Growing up, mental illness was heavily stigmatized in my family. Not in a blatant way, I just picked up on my parent’s attitudes and reactions. I remember one family fight where my mum said to my sister, “maybe you need to see a psychologist”. I remember feeling shocked. “You’ve really gone too far this time,” I thought.

recognising those false core beliefs for what they are.

I still feel a little awkward and self-indulgent talking about my problems, but I’ve realised that some people genuinely care, and want to help.

It’s hard to talk about mental health sometimes.

There’s shame involved. There’s a lot to talk about, it’s complicated, and no one really has all the answers.

But If everyone talked about the things they are ashamed of, then the stigma would cease to exist, because all that stuff would just be normal. Shame burns away in the sunlight.

Unsurprisingly, going to Otago Student Health to see the counsellor for the first time was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. I’d struggled with the decision for a long time; “my life is fine,” I’d think, which was completely at odds with all the times I was curling up on the floor of my room, feeling miserable. I hated admitting weakness, hated admitting that there was something wrong.

It’s important to talk about mental health. If we keep the sad, scary parts of ourselves hidden, the parts of ourselves that we’re ashamed of, no one’s gonna know that it’s there, no one’s gonna know it’s a problem, and then no one can help. If we kept the sad scary parts of society hidden, then we can’t work together to change things.

Seeing a counsellor for the first time wasn’t a great experience. He spent a decent chunk of the session telling me about how he used to be a sheep farmer, and when I broke down and cried and told him I felt lonely and had no friends, he told me he could be my friend. Yup. Great. That’d fix all my problems. And then time was up. I left that session with my head ducked so the other students couldn’t see my tears (probs didn’t work), feeling angry and cheated.

I think that all our writers shared their stories are brave and amazing. I’m so proud of everyone’s openness and vulnerability. By writing, they let the world know this is going on, and let others know that they are not alone.

As always, there’s a billion things we didn’t have the chance to talk about. The stories here are powerful, not as an encompassing overview, but as a snapshot in time, a window into some students’ realities.

The counselling was shit, but it still did something.

Going to student health was my first admission that I needed help. Once I broached that possibility, it opened me to spending time working towards getting better.

Thank you for reading.

I’ve been to various different kinds of therapy since then. From that, I’ve developed an understanding of what wellness looks like, and how to achieve it.

For me, this means trusting my friends, figuring out what my needs are and how they can be met, and

LOUISE LIN Editor

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The News MONDAY 30 APRIL 2018

FINE ARTS LIBRARY CLOSURE VITA MOLYNEUX The proposal to close the University of Auckland’s specialist libraries pertaining to Fine Arts, Architecture, Music, and Dance sparked outrage among the public this week.

The closure of Elam’s Fine Arts library has drawn particular controversy. The library has been operating since 1950, where it began from a small collection of books and has now become the largest Fine Arts library in the Southern Hemisphere, with 50,000 books as well as photo books and manuscripts.

The decision to combine the libraries has come as a shock to Elam students, with the student association's Vice President Olyvia Hong saying, “it was very sly, and they didn’t publicise it. I found out through the Herald. I had no idea this was happening”.

If the closure goes ahead, the Fine Arts library, along with the Architecture library, and the library of Music and Dance will be merged into the University of Auckland’s general library. Much of Elam’s library will be lost to offsite storage, meaning that in order to gain access to books, students will need to request them specifically, which adds a longer wait period to access resources. This wait time could be up to 24 hours according to Lisa Finucane, a spokesperson for the university.

Finucane said that there were “bigger-picture considerations that students would not necessarily have on their radar”.

The closure of the library has sparked fears among some staff that lesser used books will be incinerated. The process of book-burning is associated with authoritarian regimes and dictatorships. However, a spokesperson for the University of Auckland said that the books would be “primarily relocated to the relevant library, or into storage”, rather than burnt.

Decline in government funding has already lead to budget cuts and job losses at the University of Auckland. The budget cuts are hitting degrees with lower enrolment numbers more severely, with arts and education suffering the most. 45 jobs have been cut just this year, with more expected. However, subjects like engineering have remained stable, with potential staff increases.

Research suggests that by 2026, 40-50% of jobs available today will no longer exist, which implies that a degree with transferable skills will be more useful in the future. According to Universities New Zealand director Chris Whelan, students who pursue a Bachelor of Arts emerge with exactly the same employment rates as someone with a degree in engineering or medicine.

RockQuest to Take on Stage Challenge Replacement

Government Launches Sexual Assault Helpline LAURA SUTHERLAND A new multi-platform sexual harm service has been rolled out nationwide, following a successful trial period in Canterbury.

Safe to Talk/He Pai Ki Te Kōrero, launched on the 16th of April, was established by the Ministry of Social Development. The helpline is the brainchild of Eva McGauley, who founded Eva’s Wish to raise funds and awareness for sexual violence following her diagnosis with terminal cancer. An online messaging service in particular, according to Eva, is the most accessible way to provide sexual assault information and services, especially for youth. This allows people to remain anonymous if they choose, and removes the prohibitive costs of transport and private treatment.

Significantly, this is the first sexual assault service in New Zealand to enable survivors to seek help anonymously.

Safe to Talk is a confidential counselling service accessible by phone, email, and online live chat. It provides sexual harm survivors and perpetrators with 24/7 access to information, support, and advice on seeking further support or contacting police. Safe to Talk currently employs 22 trained specialists, including counsellors and social workers.

OLIVIA PHILIP

RockQuest Promotions Ltd are initiating the replacement events for Stage Challenge and J-Rock in 2018. These events are as yet unnamed.

Stage Challenge is no longer a recurring annual event in New Zealand schools, nor is the pre-high-school showcase, J-rock. As of early January, the dance and stage performance showcase run

by The Stage Challenge Foundation has been discontinued due to unaffordability.

While a long-term solution is being developed by the Ministry of Education, RockQuest has been handed the one-off contract for 2018 alone, funding them with $800,00 for the events.

In previous years, the Ministry spent $267,000 annually to support Stage Challenge, and while the overall cost of the events ($984,142 in 2016) had been going down year by year, “the income generated from sponsorship and ticket sales in 2018 [would] be insufficient to produce the events to the high standard that [had] been done in the past”, the foundation has told teachers.

After the initial cancellation of the events, independent theatre and performing arts enthusiasts, the Hamilton Operatic Society, and Clarence St Theatre were working on creating an independent replacement event for the Waikato and Bay of Plenty regions.

It is unclear whether the organisation of this independent event will continue after the announcement of national events by RockQuest.

How to get in touch: Phone: 0800 044 334 Text: 4334 Email: support@safetotalk.nz Online live chat: www.safetotalk.nz

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NEWS

MONDAY 30 APRIL 2018

New Quarry Proposed in Northern Wellington ANDREW LENSEN

Taupo Swamp, photo by B Warburton

Horokiwi Quarries is exploring a potential new quarry location between Plimmerton and Pukerua Bay in Northern Wellington, as part of a joint venture with Fulton Hogan.

Local residents raised concerns after sighting drilling platforms, fearing that earthworks may be occurring without consent. Porirua City Council have issued an abatement notice to Horokiwi Quarries.

A spokesperson for the Stop The Quarry community group has expressed concern that the hills being considered for a quarry form part of the protected Taupō catchment. This catchment flows downhill to Taupō Swamp, and the spokesperson believes that “a quarry could spell disaster for this sensitive area”.

Taupō swamp is a 30 hectare wetland of national significance owned by the Queen Elizabeth II (QEII) National Trust between the main trunk railway line and State Highway 1. The wetland is dominated by swamp flax but has a diverse range of habitats which are home to native freshwater fish such as banded and giant kōkopu, longfin eel, inanga and wetland bird species such as spotless crake.

Mike Jebson, CEO of the QEII National Trust, explained that Taupō swamp is a wetland of outstanding quality which is already susceptible to run-off from earthworks in the catchment. He

expressed concern that “earthworks and drilling associated with the proposed quarry on land nearby may irreparably damage the wetland,” as silt from earthworks is expected to clog waterways and dry out parts of the wetland. Given the importance of the wetland, Jebson said that Stop The Quarry “will oppose any development in the catchment that would put the health of this wetland at risk”.

Stop The Quarry has also expressed concern that dust and toxic materials could spread towards neighbourhood communities and schools. Road safety and level of noise and vibration were also expected to be significantly affected, including near the culturally significant Whenua Tapu cemetery.

Horokiwi Quarries has until early May to make a decision on the purchase of the quarry land. If purchased, a significant legal consultation process would take place under the Resource Management Act 1991 (RMA).

A quarry at this site could be operational for 100 years. The region around the quarry is expected to have significant residential growth as part of Porirua City Council’s Northern Growth Plan. The quarry could therefore compromise this area for future generations.

Horokiwi Quarries did not respond to a request for comment.

Innovative Architecture Project Encourages Sustainable Construction NISHA NOVELL Victoria University student Gerard Finch was presented with a Highly Commended award in the Central Innovation Student Design Award competition, winning $1500 prize money for his original design.

His project was a complex zero-waste system for prefab architecture, ensuring every component is designed for reuse — potentially groundbreaking, since 50% of all waste in NZ comes from the construction industry.

The competition was between Architecture students from Victoria University, University of Auckland, and Unitec.

Finch said, "My work is a bit out of the box for this competition,

so receiving the Highly Commended was great".

Speaking on behalf of Victoria University’s Faculty of Architecture and Design, Professor Brown highlighted the importance of ingenuity in Architecture: "Students were looking at non-traditional solutions to traditional problems.”

Other Victoria University students’ designs created for competition included Stacey Mountfort’s design for integrating nature into architecture, Ryan McCully’s idea to incorporate relics of heritage buildings destroyed in earthquakes to preserve historical architecture, and Jessica Wright’s manifesto of the digital era that encourages hand-drawn architectural designs.

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NEWS

MONDAY 30 APRIL 2018

TRUMP'S AME RICA Stay Gold, Puppet Boy

T

TORI BRIGHT

he Department of Justice released memos from James Comey to congressional leaders last week, in which the former FBI director detailed early interactions with President Trump. The memos note the President’s attempts to discredit the contents of the infamous Steele Dossier — a document containing salacious claims that stand to threaten the Trump presidency.

Christopher Steele, a former M16 intelligence agent, was subcontracted by private investigation firm Fusion GPS to investigate Donald Trump and Russia in 2016. His findings make up the controversial 35-page Dossier. Initially, CNN reported on the existence of classified documents claiming Russian operatives were in possession of "compromising personal and financial information" about Trump. Steele’s report was then published

by BuzzFeed in January 2017, and met with widespread scepticism. In the past year, many conversations that "took place between the same individuals on the same days and from the same locations as detailed in the dossier" have been verified, giving US intelligence "greater confidence" in the credibility of Steele’s claims.

The Steele Dossier reveals a conspiracy in which Russian agents “cultivated” Donald Trump in an operation that was overseen by Russian President Vladimir Putin. Russia set to bolster Trump and support his presidency so as to undermine public faith in the US government. The Dossier details an $11 billion deal in which

Trump was offered a 19% stake in Russian energy company Rosneft, in exchange for lifting Russian sanctions. The Dossier also claims Donald Trump's susceptibility to blackmail. It reports an incident in which Trump allegedly hired "a number of prostitutes to perform a 'golden showers' show in front of him", so as to defile a bed used by Barack and Michelle Obama in a previous visit to Moscow. This event reportedly took place when Donald Trump visited Moscow for the 2013 Miss Universe Pageant, and was filmed by the Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation to be used as blackmail. Donald Trump has referred to the Dossier and its contents as “fake news”.

James Comey’s memos reveal a conversation in which “The President said ‘the hookers thing’ is nonsense but that Putin had told him ‘we have some of the most beautiful hookers in the world.’”

Donald Trump also assured Comey that he never spent the night in Moscow. Thomas Roberts, host of the 2013 Miss Universe pageant, has claimed he first met Donald Trump on November 8th at the event, and that Trump did not leave for New York until the early hours of November 10th. Additionally, testimony from Donald Trump’s bodyguard, social media activity, and flight records pertaining to Trump’s time in Russia all indicate that the President was lying to the FBI Director when he refuted this aspect of the Dossier claims.

EYE ON EXEC LOUISE LIN managers, and banning rent bidding.

VUWSA also plans to submit on the Wellington long term plan.

Marlon went around the room and asked everyone, including non VUWSA members, how Wellington could be a student friendly city. More creative spaces, affordable venues, ending sexual violence in town, student housing, a cycleway on the terrace, more promotion of library events, more mental health services, and electric buses, were all suggested. (by the way if you’ve got an idea, tell VUWSA. They’d love to hear it.)

Tam made a Halls Committee, with reps from most halls. The committee reported that freshers were happy with O Week but wanted more toilets and individual tickets.

Paddy reported that Student Equity and Diversity didn’t have a meeting because people were busy. But she’s met up with groups individually. The feminist organization are submitting on the abortion law reform, and are planning to have a sharing circle.

The international students' association have spoken about tenancy discrimination and inclusivity in VUWSA around non alcoholic events. CanDo are holding fortnightly safe spaces.

Marlon cancelled the Chat in the Hat because it was a long meeting and people were tired.

I’ve been reading over all the old “Eye on Exec”s and seems like in the past VUWSA meetings have been dominated by shitty decisions and infighting. I would love to give you dirt on this year’s exec, but so far they appear wholesome as fuck, and as a byproduct there are no dramas or shenanigans to entertain you with.

Highlights of this week: whole lotta meetings. Get ready for some scintillating content.

Marlon met with more people about starting an arts society. He is “excited” about the prospect.

Marlon met with NZUSA to talk about mental health within tertiary institutions.

Simran held a student academic committee meeting, they talked about piloting some aegrotat (which is something you can apply for when you’re too sick to sit exams) workshops. She was sick so she left straight after, clutching her mini hot water bottle.

Beth and Ella are still campaigning hard against sexual violence.

The Sexual Violence Law Prevention Campaign has been renamed Not Above the Law, which we can all agree is way catchier.

The Residential Tenancies Act Amendment Bill is coming up in the middle of the year, VUWSA will do a submission when they open, in favour of a rental warrant of fitness, licensing property 6

Politics MONDAY 30 APRIL 2018

POST CABINET ROUND UP Fresh back from her European trip, the PM announced significant “culture changes” to WINZ are incoming, spoke about trade talks with the EU and responded to accusations of spying by DOC. I got too nervous to ask her about Syria.

Welfare System Overhaul Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced that an overhaul of the Welfare System was “imminent”. “I have seen too many stories as an MP in my local area which demonstrate that decisions have been made that haven't taken into account the human side of some of the cases at play.”

Scrapping sanctions, which is when welfare recipients are financially penalized for noncompliance to certain welfare obligations, were one of the major changes on the cards.

The changes are likely to be part of the details in the budget to be rolled out in two weeks time.

Free Trade Deal with EU and UK Ardern was cautiously optimistic about a free trade agreement developing with the European Union as well as an individual agreement with the UK post-Brexit. She came out of talks with French President Emmanuel Macron “positive about our position”. Macron was particularly receptive to environmental protections, mentioning his desire to “embed environmental regulations within a potential trade agreement”. The aim of the trip to Europe was to secure a mandate for formal free trade negotiations with the EU next month.

1080 Activists Monitored by Private Firm The PM also responded to complaints regarding the Department of Conservation’s use of the controversial security firm Thompson and Clark to monitor anti-1080 activists. There is currently an ongoing enquiry by the State Services Commission into the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment using the firm to spy on several activist groups. She clarified that the firm was only being used to “monitor threats on social media”, saying there was a distinction between this and monitoring individuals.

POLITICAL ROUND UP

THE PARTY LINE

Jacinda Ardern Went Overseas Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has just returned from whirlwind tour to meet with numerous leaders around Europe and the United Kingdom, and to attend the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (CHOGM).

Leaving on the 13th April, after visiting New Zealand athletes in the Gold Coast, Ardern and her partner Clarke Gayford arrived to meet with French President Emmanuel Macron and German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

In London, the Prime Minister met with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and attended a Q&A session hosted by London Mayor Sadiq Khan, attended by hundreds of pupils. She capped off the day at 10 Downing Street, with a private meeting with British PM Theresa May. After which, she attended the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting to discuss climate change, clean oceans, and a more prosperous future with 51 other states. She shared a “private audience” with the Queen, and met other royals also.

Who is one of your party's young up-andcomers to keep an eye on? Why?

Bill Protecting Māori Protocols Surrounding Death passes 1st reading A bill that addresses Māori protocols concerning death has passed its first reading in Parliament on 11 April.

Justice Minister Andrew Little introduced the bill, which amends Section 26 of the Coroner’s Act 2006. The amendment states coroners would have to consider Māori protocols about who can view or touch a deceased person’s body.

Under current legislation, coroners do not have to take into consideration cultural practices when allowing contact with the deceased.

In a statement, Little acknowledged that the death of a loved one can be difficult when it is referred to the coroner but the procedure of investigations will not change.

“In practice, the coroner already considers cultural and spiritual beliefs when making decisions about the access to dead bodies and approaches each request on a case-by-case basis.”

Family members can request a viewing or prolonged stay with a body that is in possession of the coroner if the bill passes into law.

VICNATS The National Party is extremely lucky to not only have one, but a caucus full of young up-and-comers. This can be seen with our most recent addition to the National Party’s caucus, Nicola Willis. Her and the rest of the class of 2017 are already hard at work representing their communities and alongside new leader Simon Bridges are holding the Ardern-Peters Government to account. The Young Nats look forward to seeing the work our MPs will do and watching them enter Government in 2020.

-Grahame Woods ACT ON CAMPUS Despite currently being a party with just Davo in parliament, Act is a party that is awash with up and coming talent. Testament to this is the fact we have established Act on campus groups with good membership numbers at Otago, Auckland and Vic. One individual to keep an eye on is Brooke Van Velden. Brooke is 24 and she graduated from Auckland with a commerce and arts degree. She shortly after graduating landed a job with political commentator Matthew Hooton, established herself within Act and stood as third on our party list. Unfortunately our election performance didn’t allow for Brooke to become an Member of Parliament but she has moved to Wellington and is working with David. She’s one to watch for future and believes strongly in Act’s core values of social and economic freedom. She would make a fantastic MP and representative for young women and young people in general looking to enter politics.

Opinion MONDAY 30 APRIL 2018

US, FRANCE, AND UK LAUNCH AIR STRIKES IN SYRIA Oh really?

CALUM STEELE repercussions it is bound to cause. Mr Borzou Daragahi, of Foreign Policy magazine, astutely points out how Iranian-backed Shiite militias are now actively planning to turn their guns on US assets in the region, with one called “The Bakir Brigade” announcing their decision to start a shooting match with the Americans over its Facebook page. Another key development is Russia’s response to the attack. Having forgone shooting down any of the missiles, a response was nonetheless promised and apparently it is now on its way in the form of S-300 surface-to-air missile batteries being delivered gratis by the Kremlin to the Syrian army, reports Haaretz.

Something that is unlikely to amuse the Israelis who have thus far enjoyed carte blanche in their access to Syrian skies to conduct raids.

On 13 April the US, France, and the UK decided to launch a fusillade of over 100 cruise missiles at various sites in Syria, in response to the alleged chemical weapons attack in the Damascus suburb of Douma on 7 April. The strikes were, according to the UK’s Minister of Defense Gavin Williamson, to “degrade Syria’s ability to manufacture and deploy chemical weapons”. This is a reason one has trouble squaring with the facts on the ground.

Even if Russian and Syrian claims of having shot down most of the missiles were true, a hundred odd cruise missiles are unlikely to do much to a regime such as that of Mr Assad, especially with his Russian and Iranian backers footing the bill.

One of the more amusing episodes in this little saga was being able to follow the course of the decisions being taken in Washington, thanks to Trump and his notoriously loud Twitter mouth. Generally, it is considered poor form to give the enemy a heads up that you’re going to bomb them a week before you do it. Not to mention the irony of when Trump publicly bashed Obama for not being discreet enough when he launched an assault on Mosul in 2016. The culmination of the strike was then followed by his rather vainglorious tweet of “mission accomplished” – one would have thought after the shit copped by Bush for that infamous gaff in the wake of the Iraq War, of appearing on an aircraft carrier with a “mission accomplished” banner, even Trump would know not to do something quite so dull-witted.

The most interesting aspect of this strike though was not so much the strike itself, which was barely more than a rap on the knuckles, but that it was so detested by all parties.

Obviously, the Russians, Syrians, and Iranians cried foul from the get go, but the British opposition leader Jeremy Corbyn was anything but on board. Equally, members of the US Congress were furious about Trump’s unilateral move, notably Democrat members, who have demanded subsequent actions be authorized by Congress – a privilege that Congress abrogated itself of quite some time ago.

Funnily enough the “Syrian opposition” were also scathing in their response to the attack, noting that the strikes were of such paltry significance they would have no material impact on the outcome of the war, something that at best can be said to be looking exceedingly gloomy for the rebel forces. Indeed, one rebel commander went so far as to suggest that if anything this attack will only encourage Mr Assad in the future in that he can now see, beyond any reasonable doubt, that the so called “red line” of chemical weapons being used is unlikely to attract any meaningful response.

The strike did however highlight a rather concerning element to how the Atlantic powers interact. Aside from their disdain of international law, their alliance is so heinously unbalanced.

America is truly footing the bill for the attack with France and, in particular, Britain is making a mere token showing. The British PM Theresa May’s rather pitiful contribution of a handful of Storm Shadow cruise missiles, in what was essentially a Franco-American operation, managed to garner some rather unflattering jokes about Britain’s “FOMO”.

Over all one is dubious that this piddling show of force, done in a fit of pique, will achieve anything bar getting some vaguely favourable news column inches. But who knows, after all, the only thing that is definite is that nothing is definite in this tumultuous region of the world.

It is worth pausing to reflect on the danger of contagion from this kneejerk attack. Not only did the Western powers act unilaterally in bombing Syria, but they appear to have recklessly ignored the 8

Opinion MONDAY 30 APRIL 2018

THE COMMONWEALTH GAMES The only ones who seem to talk about it now, probably shouldn’t.

SOPHIE CLARK

and lack of acceptance towards those in the LGBTQ community, and undermined Hubbard’s talent and hard work, the values of the Commonwealth Games, and other competing athletes, whose successes were overshadowed by these inimical comments.

4 April to 15 April marked the 21st Commonwealth Games, more commonly thought of — and given the same amount of recognition — as the Olympics’ poorer, less talented younger cousin. Though still probably the best thing to have happened to the Gold Coast since The GC, an overwhelmingly large number of people had no idea it was even on, let alone cared.

In light of recent comments made by Australian rugby player Israel Folau (i.e. commented on Instagram that God’s plan for homosexuals was “HELL.. Unless they repent their sins and turn to God”), it is clear that people like Folau and Wallwork are just completely unaware of the public position they are in, and thus the damaging effect that their comments have on athletes, and other young people that bear the brunt of their bigotry. This makes their words completely antithetical to the nature of sport.

Everyone loves to get all political and talk about the increasing irrelevance of the Games, and how they are just representative of an outdated concept, which is frustrating in itself. Call me an uncultured jock, but I wish for once that this cynicism was sidelined, and the focus was on the Commonwealth values of humanity, equality, and destiny, cliche as this sounds. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that politics and sport should exist in different spheres, and that we should never talk about them in relation to each other. I just believe that this shouldn’t be done at the expense of undermining the years of preparation and hard work put in by the athletes to get where they are.

The 21st Commonwealth Games was the first time a major sporting event had an equal number of events for male and female athletes. Sophie Pascoe became New Zealand’s first para-athlete to carry the New Zealand flag into the Games. I’m not sure about you, but I did not hear about these milestones nearly as much as I heard about Laurel Hubbard. In a sporting event that is increasingly being seen as irrelevant, it is devastating that the dedication and achievements of athletes are being overshadowed by intolerant and xenophobic beliefs.

However, this year's Commonwealth Games has been slightly different, in that this particular type of political discourse has not come up nearly as much as I expected it to.

In fact, throughout the entirety of the Games, only one story seemed to stand out, and that was of Kiwi weightlifter Laurel Hubbard — more specifically, the criticism of her competing. Hubbard, who was assigned male at birth, and began hormone replacement in 2012, was criticised by the head coach of the Samoan weightlifting team Jerry Wallwork, who said it was “unfair” that she was competing in the female category, despite her being cleared by the International Olympic Committee to do so.

Unfortunately, Hubbard — who was picked to win the gold — had her dreams dashed by a devastating elbow injury.

As a sports fan, I am absolutely an advocate for talking about state-sponsored doping, match-fixing, and ball-tampering. However, it is more important for people (looking at you, Wallwork) to consider whether or not the “issue” that they’re so fired up about has a negative effect on sport — or if their words have a negative effect on the people that they choose to persecute instead. For the sake of the beauty and integrity of sport, and out of respect to the athletes, we musn’t let it all be undermined by our own personal politics. Following a Commonwealth Games that has been predominantly marked by apathy and ignorance, in the future, the athletes, at the very least, deserve to have our support.

However, it seems incongruous that in 2018, the biggest story to come out of an international sporting event shouldn’t even really be one. The comments made by Wallwork show a continued ignorance

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Opinion MONDAY 30 APRIL 2018

A MEETING OF TWO QUEENS TE PAEA HOORI

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— many of my tūpuna fought arduously for Māori affairs and autonomy in the Northern Wars; the other hand I reserve for typing “The Crown” into Netflix and binge watching in secret contrition. I can’t be the only one who was overcome with this weird, disappointed melancholia when Harry announced his engagement to Meghan Markle. Like, I wasn’t planning on becoming a British princess any time soon but it was kind of nice having the option. Especially when I found out that wearing cute Alexander McQueen pantsuits is on the cards these days.

n case you recently self-enforced a social media ban in the name of cram-writing essays and somehow missed this story: last week our Prime Minister visited Buckingham Palace.

There, she greeted the Queen (for the second time) and mingled with dignitaries. She gave the official toast to the Commonwealth and classily rounded it off with a whakataukī in the process.

The English monarchs may not know how to stop fucking with places that don’t belong to them, and they may not know how to stay current in the 21st century. But you have to give it to them — they sure know how to put together a glitzy affair.

Interestingly, amongst a generation that isn’t known for their royalist sentiment, when the image of Jacinda and her man circulated the interweb, I noticed a hell of a lot of millenials throwing *crown emojis* and “yesss queen” comments about. Maybe I’m reading way too much into this, but for an age bracket that isn’t believed to have a vested interest in bloodlinebased systems of power, collectively we’re pretty mad for the imagery. Is this a sign of residual affinity for the Windsor clan? Or has Bey’s branding and RuPaul’s Drag Race just got us in the mood for appropriating the terms?

Before I go on, it is important that this piece be prefaced by confessing two biases of “sore-thumb” level prominence. The first is that my political views swing left. In fact they swing left so hard that my tombstone is destined to read: “Here lies Te Paea Hoori, died of hyperventilation after consuming a bottle of Banrock and proceeding to push her socialist agenda on unwitting bystanders at parties.” The second is that my vocation of choice is fashion design.

And in case I didn’t already have enough of a blatant girl crush on Jacinda, I recently learned she does all of her own styling.

Jacinda has voiced her opinion on the notion of dissolving ties with the monarchy in the past. She claims gaining republic status is not a priority right now, and I am inclined to agree. The Labour coalition Government have enough work cut out for them. It would appear, at least to me, that the general population is content to assume that the royal family are self-aware of their own irrelevance. Especially if it means our Prime Minister has an excuse to look fabulous and reverent for the culture of the country she is representing. Don’t worry Lizzie, no one is planning on booting you off our coins just yet — but maybe that’s just the secret royalist in me speaking.

Kermit the Frog may believe he has the monopoly on difficult colours to wear but let me tell you — brown is not everybody’s colour. Cindy slays those earth tones though. She stepped out sporting a gown that showed off her baby bump brilliantly, wrapped in a stunning kahu huruhuru. The ensemble was a glorious slap in the face for mouthy conservatives that New Zealand is being led by an unmarried, hapū woman in her 30s.

Like a number of Kiwis, I have a love/hate relationship with the British monarchy. On one hand I resent colonialism on principle

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Opinion MONDAY 30 APRIL 2018

WARRIORS AREN'T THE REAL DEAL...YET KELLEN FARMER

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who always boast ludicrous potential and what looks like the making of a championship side, seem to find themselves searching for a real identity after the first few rounds. They can go from a couple of compelling wins in front of the Mt. Smart faithful, to ugly and lacklustre defeats across the ditch. As Origin comes around, they are able to squeeze out a few scrappy wins against teams who lose key players over the five-week period, putting them on the brink of a playoff spot. Then, the dreaded round 13 comes around. The halfway point of the NRL season, and by this point most teams have asserted themselves as title contenders or wooden spoon dwellers, but the Warriors are in the middle of the pack, fighting in a make or break situation every year. Though, in the Warrior’s case, they seem to be more inclined towards the latter option, as they succumb to second half syndrome.

t’s that time of year again — the Blues have capitulated within the first seven games of the season and have almost certainly written off their playoff chances. So Auckland fans switch codes and try their luck once more, with what seems like the most erratic and frustrating team to back: the Warriors. This time, they have the weight of recently dormant supporters across the country, who will try and convince you that they’ve been around longer than their latest receipt for this year’s playing jersey would indicate.

The Warriors look good this year, with key playmaker Shaun Johnson seemingly back to his old self, after being out of action for over a month following a ligament tear in his knee at the tail-end of last season. Having faced criticism in previous years about his inability to take control over a backline, this year Johnson has directed what looks like one of the most dangerous backlines in the competition, squeezing the potential out of the players. The in form Johnson currently sits in the top ten in the league for try assists, line engagements, and total points scored.

Since 2012 the Warriors have only won 26 out of the 72 matches they have played after round 13; a 36%-win rate. They fail to close out games as pressure mounts, clubs across the Tasman continue to improve, the brutal travel schedule takes its toll, and the early season fortress of Mt. Smart stadium looks more bare than their trophy cabinet as fan numbers dwindle.

For the first time in club history, the Warriors started the season with five wins from five games.

They are playing with precision and are having the ability to close out games, which in previous years would have been given away through unforced errors or dire defence. Despite a small slip-up against an inconsistent Brisbane Broncos side, they have managed to win away from home, something they have struggled to do for over a decade.

Even though the Warriors have started this season exceptionally well, their biggest test to date lies in the next round, coming home to play a hot West Tigers side who will be coming fresh off of a bye-week. If the Warriors can stand up to the challenge and continue to grind out tough games, then they may be in a good stead going into the Origin break. If that is the case, then I hope to be proved wrong for the second half of the season, but for now, I think Warrior fans and writers alike should keep both feet firmly on the ground, because this is all too predictable, and a second-half collapse is still something they should be very wary of.

However, it is also that time of year where the Warriors fans come out in force, rave on about how this is their season before they begin to vanish by the middle of the competition when the Warriors’ record is equally horrific as the Blues’ is.

Since the Warriors’ last playoff appearance in 2011, an ugly and predictable cycle has emerged season after season. The Warriors,

11

News

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I WILL TELL THE TRUTH THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH*

SOME NZ LEFT OFF MAP SUPERHEROES YET AGAIN DEFINITELY DON'T WEAR CAPES: AN INTERVIEW ANGUS SHAW

SHANTI MATHIAS

The New Zealand government probably has a stance on the recent missile strikes against Syria. However, according to the website Just Security, a well placed key in a map demonstrating other nation’s stances is infinitely more important.

“PM Jacinda Ardern’s stance of acknowledging the illegality of the use of force by the US, UK and France, and endorsing the use of diplomatic means to deal with the Assad regime’s apparent use of chemical weapons, is irrelevant to the international foreign policy community,” states Just Security mapmaker Rebecca Inger, who is an American. “Who gives a shit what New Zealand thinks, realistically?”

Being placed in the bottom right of the standard equirectangular world map, New Zealand is a nation all too familiar with being obscured by keys, scales, drawings of old timey sea monsters and even just being left off altogether. In a clear demonstration of this phenomenon, the subreddit /r/mapswithoutNZ currently sports 39,900 subscribers.

Following talks last week with German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Ardern substantiated her stance, stating the Assad forces absolutely breached international law and this could not go unchallenged. Does with confirming that the PM agrees with the use military means as a response to international law breaches justify a map update? It is unclear.

Also cut off by this one scale is the most southern regions of Australia. Does Tasmania have a radically different stance on Syria to mainland Australia? I guess we will never know.

Salient had the chance to ask Adern for comment, but was too nervous to speak out.

Harry Bland calls himself “Wellington’s only superhero”. Salient sat down with Bland to get the inside scoop. Unfortunately, he only wanted to be interviewed while cycling, but was willing to settle for a stationary exercise bike.

Salient: Can you tell us what led you to self-identify as a superhero?

Bland: Well, I was thinking about it, and I realised that I wear lycra and I’m saving the world, so I must be a superhero.

Salient: You are… definitely wearing lycra. That’s impossible to miss. Can you elaborate a bit more about “saving the world”?

Bland: I cycle to work. And back.

Salient: Oh… okay. That’s it?

Bland: I live in the Hutt and work in the city, so it’s quite a long way.

Salient: Yeah, but how are you saving the world?

Bland: I work as an accountant, a slave to capitalism, the force that is almost single handedly responsible for the degradation of the environment across the world. While I’m not yet paid for it, I see my primary purpose as cycling to work. Every pedal I push stops a small amount of carbon dioxide from going into the atmosphere.

It makes an enormous difference. And I’m not ashamed of cycling, either. I wear brightly coloured clothing and a visibility vest, and then I change in the office, so everyone knows that I’m a cyclist, just in case they haven’t talked to me for more than a minute and noticed that I’m superior. I’m sure that this makes other people want to cycle too.

Salient, (panting): So what is your superhero name, then?

Bland: Pedalman. And history will remember me.

UPDATES ON KYLIE JENNER'S BABY Still don’t care. However, the jury is out as to whether the Salient office is more or less apathetic about the arrival of Khloé Kardashian’s baby girl True Thompson as we are about Stormi Webster. Updates to come as the story unfolds.

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*NEWS*

MONDAY 30 APRIL 2018

A&E INUNDATED WITH NECK TRAUMA FOLLOWING JOHNNY DANGER’S PASSING RONALD SAVAGE Johnny Danger, Instagram comedian and New Zealand icon, has passed away this week following a motorbike collision. In wake of his death, many young New Zealanders have been mourning his passing by copying his signature move. The “danger sip” is a movement following any sip of a beverage, whereby the sipper snaps their neck back quickly as they swallow.

Young males all across New Zealand have been celebrating the short life of Danger by copying this stunt – and nurses are suffering for it.

The increase in neck and back related injuries is unprecedented and hospitals across the country are struggling to cope with the influx of patients. Nancy Sterling, a nurse at Wellington Hospital,

says that the hallways are overrun; “I haven’t slept in 38 hours, and everywhere I turn I see another bucket hat. They just won’t stop.

They’re everywhere. I know they’re hurting but can’t they just wear black?”

Neck braces are in short supply, and staff are struggling to keep up with the sheer numbers of VB cans that are being strewn about the hallways. One patient said that the men were “just celebrating the life of a great man, the best way we know how.” Clutching his can, a single tear rolled down his cheek as he sipped and attempted once more to snap his neck back in commemoration. The last remaining brace in the hospital restricted the movement. It truly is a tragedy for all involved.

ALLEGATIONS OF MEDIA BIAS IN DANCING WITH THE STARS LIAM POWELL Prominent media figure Mike Hosking has questioned whether Ms Cato has the "moral authority" to be a Dancing With The Stars champion, and AM Show host Mark Richardson asked whether it was appropriate for a woman to represent the best of our nation's dancing abilities. An exhaustive investigation by Salient has revealed no reason as to why anybody still gives two shits as to what these people think.

These allegations of media bias come hot on the heels of scandal surrounding Ms Cato’s main dancing rival, ACT party leader and walking meme David "Daddy" Seymour. Although New Zealand Security and Intelligence investigations into foreign political meddling came up blank, last week Minister for National Security and Intelligence Jacinda Ardern revealed damning evidence of Russian interference with Mediaworks’ voting algorithms for Dancing With The Stars.

While no link has yet been proven, it is believed that Russia is actively trying to assist Mr Seymour's campaign against Ms Cato in an effort to sow discord among New Zealanders. Parallels have been drawn to the attempted hacking of the Bird of the Year competition last year in favour of the far-right White Faced Heron.

Although the more mainstream kea prevailed, fears of similar attacks on our democratic institutions remain.

Political scientists are warning that the forthcoming battle between the mother of the nation and the nation's weird big cousin could be one of the most divisive events in New Zealand history.

"Forget female suffrage, forget the Springbok Tour, forget that chick who farted on The Bachelor," warned eminent Victoria University professor Jack Vowles. "This shit just got real."

Allegations of Media Bias in Dancing With the Stars Dancing With the Stars (DWTS), the New Zealand reality TV show, is already embroiled in controversy, after allegations of widespread media bias.

An in-depth investigation has revealed that nearly 90% of preliminary coverage has been positively slanted in favour of newly announced contestant Suzy Cato. When pressed, 93% of journalists polled admitted to "strongly favouring" the former children's show host.

The investigation has revealed that even Salient has been compromised, with multiple confidential sources confirming that "up to three" of the editorial staff have "at least one" tattoo of her likeness or name somewhere on their skin.

Ms Cato is being perceived as the establishment candidate in a contest that looks set to divide the nation. Political scientists have cited her broad voter appeal and good relations with young and old voters as being key indicators of a decisive victory in the reality show.

Not all are happy with the volume of positive coverage that surrounds the mother of two, who is a woman. Media liberty advocate Savid Deymour has criticised the relentlessly positive coverage, saying that it constitutes "fake news" and interferes with the principles of a free democracy. "It's utterly destructive to positive debate and voter choice," Mr Deymour said to Salient, all the while trying to reattach a suspiciously false-looking moustache. "Alsotaxationistheft," he added.

The New Zealand Press Council and New Zealand Broadcasting Authority have firmly rejected Mr Deymour's complaints. A joint report concluded that the New Zealand media is "fully justified" in its deification of Suzy Cato and that "also, we <3 Suzy too".

Despite this, Mr Deymour is not alone in his criticism.

13

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LETTERS My Arm Has Grown Tired… (the story of a Kelburn printing monk)

Dear Salient, Your distractions page is loved and adored, it is the highlight of my monday. But could you please make everything a bit bigger, or get rid of the wordfind. This week was the first time the wordfind had any diagonal solutions (and they were all next to each other). Last week it was just straight up and down like a children's wordfind which is just a complete waste of time and requires no skill at all.

Since my brethren and I took over from the printing system we have reached a new stage of enlightenment, which can only be obtained upon hearing ‘but this is due in 5 minutes!’ screamed in your ear every few seconds. Recently, during one of these periods as I carefully marked out a STAT292 assignment and my fingers burned with cramp, I had a vision. This vision led me to levitate up to level 9 of the library, whereupon I burst into the ITS offices and learnt the truth.

From Sudoker Dear Salient,

The printing can work!

I am a first year who has been avidly reading every copy of Salient, to the point that I had to restrain myself from picking up a copy on Monday as I knew it would stop me from completing my international relations essay.

On any computer you can use your internet browser to search: VUW wifi print. This will lead you to the website: https://wifiprint. student.vuw.ac.nz/cps/ You can log on there with your VUW username and password, and in a few easy steps it will allow you to upload your chosen document. This will print to any printer on campus as long as you have enough money on your account to print. Once the job has submitted and been marked complete all you have to do is pick your favourite printer and swipe your ID card.

Every single letter Editors Letter makes me fall in love, the taboo issue has been my favourite one yet, with every article sparking my excitement, from the beautiful satire on New Zealand's defensive racist attitudes in the *News* section to the absolutely enthralling article on the history of tentacle porn.

To Sasha Beattie: your Shit Tat & Chats article is literally the best thing I have ever read, and my friend and I have both expressed our desire to tattoo the entire article on our bodies. I think the sentence 'it's imperative that everyone who meets me is immediately aware that I am a rabid SJW' should appear on my business card.

The lecturers have started to complain about the leather parchment.

Save an animal. Print on paper.

Sincerely, Monk #5

Thank you to every single human being involved with salient.

LETTER OF THE WEEK

Love Forever, Someone who wishes she was friends with all of you

Dear salient, I feel like a prick.

I'm doing my best to maintain both study and work (and try not to drink.... as much) but it seems to absolutely ruin my social life. even if i have the time to hang out, i absolutely hate my friends.

Is there any escape of being an edgelord?

I feel like all the editors here are post-scene revamped crazy plant ladies with a piercing obsession, so perhaps you would know.

Ta Xx_ edgytwelveyearold_xX

Dear Salient, I really enjoyed your taboo issue. It was good to read Georgie Steel's column and Mauri Ora's because disability is still a really big taboo in society. I would have liked to have seen a feature on it.

Nic RE: word search how is a gal supposed to relax and avoid her 459867 assessments in peace when the word 'yeti' in the word search is as non existent as the actual monster? what did i do to deserve this.

Send us letters to editor@salient.org.nz otherwise we are just over here playing with ourselves. Your feedback and opinions are valid (maybe).

sincerely, still searching

*Letter of the Week wins a double day pass to Zealandia

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15

CW: Eating disorder Eating disorders are notoriously secretive. For six years, bulimia was my deepest, darkest secret.

everything I ate, guided me towards making healthy food choices and regularly exercising. An important aspect of my personality is that if I commit to something, I throw myself in headfirst. This new regimen was no exception. I started to lose weight. It was intoxicating.

Every kilo down was a kilo away from the “fat girl” in intermediate.

It started at a young age. The boys at intermediate called me “fat” nearly every day. They made up cruel rhyming jingles like “Paddy the Fatty, sitting on a matty eating a meat patty”. One guy also used to comment on my “stomach rolls”. It was humiliating. I heard it so often that I started believing it. I was becoming a woman and my body was changing, yet I was told that these changes made me inadequate.

I took it too far. I had to strictly follow the diet. No exceptions. Naturally, I developed intense cravings for the “forbidden foods” that I didn’t allow myself.

One night, these craving got too strong to bear and I ate dessert. I was deeply ashamed of myself. The food in my stomach felt like poison. I desperately wanted to press backspace on my decision. And I did.

I can’t solely blame my eating disorder on the boys at intermediate. It was a culmination of many factors: societal pressures, my nature as a perfectionist, boarding school, and the media.

This “cunning tactic” to undo my poor food choices and avoid weight gain quickly spiraled into an illness that ruined my life. On a standard day I binged and purged three times. On a bad day, it could get up to ten times.

At age 14, I was deeply insecure about my body. I ended up seeing a nutritionist for advice on healthy habits. The nutritionist encouraged me to write down 16

Lifting the Veil Binging and purging took a huge toll on my body.

My hair fell out in places, my nails were weak, my teeth eroded, and dizzy spells from dehydration were common . I had to get regular blood tests and my heart monitored to check for irregularities. My schoolwork also suffered immensely. By the age of 16 I was put on antidepressants.

You would think that all of this would scare me enough to stop. Of course it scared me. But above all else, I needed to be skinny. I couldn’t be happy unless I was skinny, boys wouldn’t like me unless I was skinny, my parents wouldn’t love me unless I was skinny.

Mum’s intuition was good and she sensed something was wrong. For the first two years of my illness, it was just mum, dad, and my school counsellor that knew.

However, at a girl’s boarding school, word spreads fast. Soon everyone in my year knew about my illness.

I felt the judgmental eyes on me at dinnertime. Behind my back, girls called my behaviour “disgusting”, and ignorantly questioned why I couldn’t just stop doing it.

My true friends and family were deeply concerned and urged me to keep fighting. By the time I was 19, I had gone through three psychologists. I was in my second year of university and completely disheartened from the years of failed attempts. I was exhausted. I accepted that the illness was part of my identity and my future. I imagined myself as a 50-yearold woman, with a family of my own, still sneaking off to the bathroom after meals.

I hit rock bottom at age 20. My flatmates went home for the mid-year university break, leaving me alone in the flat. I was relieved because I wouldn’t have to conceal anything from them and I could punish my body as much as I wanted. On the night of August 26th 2016, I had binged and purged so many times that I could barely walk without fainting. I looked into the bathroom mirror and I thought, “how did I let myself get here?”

This was the moment I truly wanted to get better — not for my mum or dad or friends, but for myself. I sent a text to mum at 3am that night. Although she already knew, I need to tell her everything and be completely honest. I divulged all the gory details of my bulimia; from the ways I snuck food into the house to the places I would dispose of the vomit, and everything in between. I finally lifted the veil.

August 27th 2016 was my new beginning. From then on, my mum was my ally and confidant. I purged everything in my life that enabled the illness to thrive (pun intended). Being honest with her was incredibly

scary, but it had to be done.

I hated the word “recovery”. From my perspective, I didn’t vomit anymore, so I was already recovered.

End of story. Despite this mantra, some days were absolute agony.

Vomiting used to be my coping mechanism. It was how I dealt with stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem. I have been told that the feelings of “release” and “relief” created by purging are somewhat akin to the feelings attached to the act of cutting. For the first time in a long time, I had to address my mental issues. I had to fill the gap that bulimia left. I tried to fill my life with only the things that gave me strength and happiness: yoga, friends, fresh air, cooking, reading, walks, music, and most importantly, a lot of honest chats with mum.

After six years of chronic purging, my stomach muscles were extremely weak. After every meal, food easily found its way back up. This became incredibly frustrating because something that I was actively telling myself I couldn't do would naturally happen.

Awkwardly, I would have to hastily swallow the food back down. People would ask me what I was chewing on. I would reply, “I have this weird habit of chewing my lip”. The legacy of my bulimia lived on, and quite frankly, it pissed me off. Fortunately, I underwent surgery early this year to tighten my stomach muscles.

I couldn’t be happier with the results.

It is now 2018 and I am 22 years old. I have reached 611 days free of bulimia. By no means is my life now perfect. I still struggle with food everyday. Social situations involving food make me extremely anxious because I have no control over the food provided — it is usually “forbidden” foods I previously denied myself. This involves a lot of pre-planning for me. I have to hype myself up by reminding myself that I am allowed those foods. I am essentially an infant learning how to eat again.

I still have significant body image issues. On a daily basis I have to internally fire back at the negative selftalk. When my mind tells me “you’re a fat loser”, I force myself to fight back, by reading a book, writing down the positive things that I like about myself, or doing something for someone else that makes me feel good. I also choose not to weigh myself anymore. My self-worth no longer hinges on a number.

At times, the negative energy does pull me under, and that is okay too. It is how you respond to being pulled under that is key. It takes strength to pick yourself back up. But it takes superior strength to know you can’t do it alone.

18

Winter with the Phoenixes This article is about the mental health system in New Zealand. It is drawn from 2016, when I visited a friend in the Newtown Psychiatric Ward. Two years later, I conducted an interview with him. It is not intended to be a criticism of the system or the staff they employ. Any interpretation to that end is wrong and exploitative of the mental health experiences of many New Zealanders and the people that provide care for them.

And then you're through. The receptionist lets you in from the other side, into the common area. It’s disconcerting in a way; I foolishly expected rows of beds. But of course, patients were playing table tennis, talking amongst themselves, having a cigarette in the garden. T was waiting for me in the garden with his guitar. He played “Pony” by Ginuwine and we talked about what had been going on in his life. He told me the good days were great, and the bad days were often unconquerable. He had been given a notebook.

It was emblazoned with a WordArt slogan printed off a Microsoft Word document:

Newtown Psych Ward is a focus group for resilient phoenixes shaking ashes from their plumage and cleaning their feathers. These birds, sometimes flightless, are looking for an escape from Babylon’s seven hills, or a solution to their Babylon, or sometimes both because sometimes solving your problems is too much of a task for the constitution of the average person. They are birds, but they are also normal people. I have come to visit one of these people. His name is “T”.

“This is yours. Nobody else can write in it, or look at it without your permission.”

This slogan is emblematic of the patients in the ward, and their rehabilitation. They were experiencing different forms of mental illness and were on their own journeys to recovery. A battered notebook — a temporary stay in central Newtown — was for them.

T was admitted into the mental health system following his arrest for displaying disruptive behaviour in public.

The police picked him up, and, upon concluding that T’s presentation was out of the norm, they contacted a psychiatric team to assess him. This was a week ago. I found out about his circumstances through a semi-lucid Facebook conversation.

T felt more inclined to engage with patients who displayed similar symptoms to his own: mania, psychosis, grandiose delusions. T said that he felt a sense of camaraderie with them, and that much of their conversations revolved around entertaining the ideas of their various delusions. In turn, he found it more difficult to engage with patients who were admitted for suicidal ideation, depression, or anxiety, as the nature of their illness wasn’t synonymous with being open and sociable. He was unusually sociable and energetic at the time, so for him, communicating with those patients seldom produced positive results.

He tried not to engage with them, for his own sake and theirs.

Finding the ward was a task in and of itself. It was like a level in a role playing game. When I asked for directions at Wellington Hospital reception, they told me my visit had to be approved by a) staff and b) the person I was going to see. The pity in the receptionist’s eyes was barely disguised.

The ward is tucked away in Newtown. It has no obvious delineation, nor explicit signposting as to its purpose. The reception area is quiet, slightly shabby in a friendly way, and like the rest of the building, gives away very little about its nature. There is a clear perspex screen with holes which allow you to speak to the receptionist. They pass you the visitors register through a shallow bay that allows for an exchange, but no human contact.

They were each on their own journey, counting the days on their own hands. Others could help them, with their permission, but their ultimate wellbeing rested with themselves. It is perhaps a rare time one should be able to be completely selfish. Healing yourself requires you put yourself before all others. I know this is true. Another friend at home considered, in his state of grief, that his friend’s suicide was selfish.

But that is as it should be. Maybe if he had been more selfish, we wouldn’t have lost him. Conversely, we are all indebted to T that he was selfish, and cared for himself enough to allow himself to be subjected to a lengthy healing process.

They unlock a heavy door and escort you into an intermediary room. This room separates the ward from any other hospital department — you cannot go back through the door from which you came, neither can you pass on to the next room. Nor can the patients come through the door, or see your arrival.

You are left alone in this purgatory room for a few moments, short enough for you to be unable to take much note of your surroundings but long enough for you to wonder with some alarm what’s going on.

When I went to see T, aware of his arrest, I carried a preconceived notion that the ward was a negative thing, another form of incarceration. And T thought this way to begin with. Delusions of grandeur and psychosis led him to believe that his hospitalisation was part of a, “big plan” or that, people were “out to 19

Winter with the Phoenixes get me”. His paranoia was palpable. For him, it was only two or so days after being medicated that the reality of being hospitalised for mental illness began to settle in.

mind is saying, pick out a single strand of conversation among the baying horde within a mentally unwell mind.

T told me that, if he could have changed anything about his stay, he would have liked more of an emphasis on his social wellbeing, rather than just his neuro-chemical wellbeing. It often felt like giving him a pill was the only solution to his problems. And maybe, that’s the best way an overworked system can treat mental illnesses. I do not indict the medication prescribed as part of care. But for T, like so many other people in his position, there were myriad other factors such as lifestyle, relationships, habits, and feelings, that couldn’t be aided by medication.

Due to the nature of T’s own condition, he did not take well to the idea of being secluded from the outside world for a temporary period of time.You see, even a phoenix yet to emerge from the ashes knows they have a long journey ahead of them. He was anxious to get “out”, to resume what he thought he needed to do. No one would find it easy to be at peace with a situation where they had no choice but to recover.

But T acknowledged that at the time his symptoms posed a risk to his own wellbeing and to the safety of others — a controlled environment with effective monitoring was necessary to engineer a return to a daily routine.

This was evidenced by his escape from both the Wellington and New Plymouth Wards. Months later

Perhaps with a change in government, those with mental illness may be better able to listen to themselves. Simon Oosterman, campaign coordinator for YesWeCare.nz estimates that mental health was underfunded by nearly $50 million in 2017. At the time of writing, Labour’s budget for 2018 will be

he had returned home to New Plymouth, but of course his condition travelled with him. He felt he had to escape, such was his world at the time. When I visited him, he described his symptoms to me as euphoric highs and dizzying lows. As a friend, I could only fret with worry when I got the message that he’d escaped again. There was nothing I could do for him; in a way this too was part of his journey to recovery.

delivered in just under a month. An increase in the budget for mental health services is required as a public health imperative. Political rhetoric and social media content can only go so far — the mentally ill in New Zealand can only achieve clarity of voice if they are fiscally enabled to do so. The financial means, and the necessary awareness that travels with that, can only lead to better care for the vulnerable among us.

T believes the process in Wellington achieved what it aimed to do. He was educated about his issues, given appropriate medication, referred to community support groups. He told me though that there’s no universal feeling towards being hospitalised, as different illnesses may cause people to perceive admission into a ward differently.

I do not know where the phoenixes are now. T found comfort and stability with correct medication, a healthier lifestyle, and an open, honest approach to his condition. Indeed, I am indebted to T for being so receptive to a very revelatory conversation. Any increase in mental health funding will not affect him though; he moved out of the country to study and be with family. In this way he is lucky; he was able to lift himself from the mire and remove himself from an environment carrying the reminders of his chaotic days two years ago. For many of the phoenixes though, I fear they are living the same experience in increasingly damaging iterations.

I read somewhere that the soul always know what to do to heal itself; the challenge is to silence the mind.

I think that’s wrong. Or if it isn’t wrong, it’s phrased wrongly. The mind can never be silenced; even at rock bottom we have our own company. The challenge is perhaps better expressed as understand what the 20

HOW TO GET SOME HELP It can be challenging to know how to access mental health support, but it’s super important to get the help you need. Here’s some things I learnt from my experiences in the mental health system.

Your first port of call is to see a GP. Give them as many details about your situation and mental state as you can. Bring a support person. Call ahead to ask if they offer government funded mental health related appointments in their practice. It's important to think about if you want a counsellor or a psychologist. In my experience, psychs generally do more long term in depth counselling, and counsellors do shorter solutionbased work, but most do use cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which targets problematic thought patterns.

Keeping Safe: If you’re feeling at risk for self harm, put in preventive methods to support yourself. This includes throwing away razors etc., or removing medication that could be dangerous for you from easy access. Also letting support people or friends and family in your home know about how you are feeling. If you are feeling at risk for suicide, living in the lower North Island, call Te Haika immediately on 0800 745 477.

Alternatively, go to the Emergency Department, and ask to see the Crisis Resolution Services (CRS).

CRS will speak to you about your support systems in place, moving forward and the possibility of time in respite care (mental health care services).

In emergencies where a person is causing harm to themselves or others right now, call 111.

If you want counselling, ask your GP about counselling. There are many different options they can support you to access for free, or via WINZ funding.

General advice: Get some sleep! Sleeping meds have changed the way I experience depression and just life in general so much. Go to bed early and be kind to your mind.

If you want to try medication for anxiety, depression etc., ask. Try not to be too eager, and let them talk about your options. If you are given meds, check them out on NZ MedSafe to have a read about them. Do not stop taking them unless the MedSafe pamphlet says to do so (generally in cause of allergic reaction or intense suicidal thoughts) — speak with your doctor if you feel the meds are not right for you after three months using them and changing dosages with a doctor’s approval.

It’s okay to talk about trauma. It’s okay to talk about things you find silly or embarrassing that you’re upset about.

It’s cool and good to go to counselling and take meds. It’s okay to not have the answers. It’s good to get help.

By Kate Aschoff

21

It was hard to recognize the symptoms at the start of my first manic episode, because I felt like me, just a better version. My mood was great, I was busy, and I had a lot of energy. It was really good — until it was really bad.

After about two weeks of riding the elevated mood, a switch flips, and I become depressed.

When I’m depressed, I feel numb. I feel like there’s a grey filter over the world. Everything is dull and lifeless.

I can’t make it out of bed. I sleep for hours, and when I feel awake, I force myself to go back to sleep. Life just isn’t worth facing. It’s not so much sadness as it is apathy. I can go days without administering self-care; I cut down my showers, my appetite completely goes away, and I don’t leave my room. I don’t do anything because I feel like I can’t do anything. Depression feels like a fog that refuses to lift.

Mania is exhilarating. Everything is just turned way up.

When I’m manic, I go on 3am waterfront runs, I spend money that I don’t have on things I don’t need, and I chase every opportunity I can. I feel unstoppable.

Fear is replaced with thrill. Every emotion I feel is extreme.

When I’m manic, I can act recklessly. I hurt my friends, I fall behind on my assignments, and I act without thinking about consequences.

My first depressive episode lasted about two weeks, then I was suddenly manic again. The switch flips too 22

Fully Booked easily. I can get home from a run at 4 in the morning, rest for a couple of hours, and wake up to severe depression.

9am to 5pm taking hour long appointments, he can take about eight appointments each day, meaning he’ll probably be seeing 16 students a week. There are 22,000 students enrolled at VUW, and a lot of them have Student Health as their PHO. Having one psychiatrist on staff isn’t enough.

As I went through these episodes, I became physically different. I was tired and I lost weight. I no longer looked like me, and I didn’t really feel like me either.

I couldn’t control what I was thinking or how I was acting. After the first few episodes, I got used to the word “usual”. I don’t usually act like this. I wouldn’t usually say that. I no longer operate at my baseline.

I’m always either way above or way below it.

The earliest psychiatrist appointment Student Health could book was in three months. That would mean three more months of ups and downs. I felt helpless because the episodes were ruining my quality of life. I hung in there, though, believing that seeing a psychiatrist would mean starting my treatment. I held onto hope that I would be helped.

There’s a reliable indicator to tell which mood I’m in – my sleep pattern. When I’m depressed, I feel tired and lethargic, so I sleep all day. When I’m manic, I have so much energy that I just feel like there’s no time to sleep, so I can go days without taking any time to rest.

After three months of experiencing extreme episodes, I had my first appointment with the psychiatrist. Within ten minutes of our meeting, he diagnosed me with what I already knew I had. Three months of agony that stemmed from uncertainty was snuffed out after a few minutes of talking to a psychiatrist, and he started me on medication immediately.

The one constant in both moods is my appetite.

When I’m depressed, I see no point in eating. I just don’t really think that it matters. When I’m manic, my appetite drops way down. I forget to eat, because I feel like I have more important things to do.

The Student Health psychiatrist only takes monthly appointments, because his caseload is so full, so the trial and error process of finding the right medication is really long. As I write this, the psychiatrist has been out sick for about a month, so all of his appointments have been cancelled and need to be re-booked.

I haven’t had an appointment since the start of the year, and my medication isn’t working. I was really counting on my appointment at the start of April to discuss changing my treatment, but now I find myself not knowing when I can get the help I need. Every time I feel like life’s too much, I manage to find a crumb of strength and hope to hold onto, but I’m running really low now.

When I noticed that I was in two distinct moods, I suspected I was bipolar. There’s a real taboo against consulting WebMD, I’ve heard it time and time again, “you can’t trust what you find on the internet”. I had to confirm my suspicion, though, so I quickly peeked online to see what bipolar disorder is like. It turns out I check all the boxes for the illness. I might as well be a textbook case.

I wanted to tell people that I was acting differently because I was sick, but I had no proof to back that up with. That just left me believing I was bipolar, but plagued by self-doubt because I couldn’t really be 100% sure.

According to VUW’s Student Health page, enrolling with them allows them to get government funds to provide primary health care. The expectation for students enrolled with them is that Student Health will provide health care, and that there will be resources available when students need help. I know that everyone in Student Health is doing the best they can, but they’re just not doing enough. Mine is only one story. There are so many other students that are waiting for a chance to get help. Prioritizing mental health is really a no-brainer. The University should allocate more resources to hire mental health care professionals. The system needs to improve because every student deserves to get the attention, care, and treatment they need.

In July, I booked in with Student Health to consult a GP about this. I wanted to talk to someone, and I wanted some answers to the many questions I had.

In my appointment, I explained my symptoms, told the doctor what I thought I had, and asked what my options were. The doctor agreed – it seemed like I had bipolar II disorder. He started me on sleeping pills so that I could at least maintain a normal sleep pattern.

That’s not really a huge victory, though. In order to get an official diagnosis and talk about treatment options, I had to see a psychiatrist.

Currently, the University employs one psychiatrist.

He’s a really great guy doing really great work.

He works on Kelburn campus two days a week – on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So if he works from 23

Salman Abbasnejad, That Couple, Dig

igital Illustration, 380 x 270mm, 2018

CW: self-harm and suicide Kit Taylor loved The Simpsons, rats, Nick Cave, Victoria Bitters, a strong skullet (his haircut of choice: a shaved head with an isolated mullet flowing out the back).

He loved his friends, deeply. He was a talented singer and songwriter, who prior to his death had released his first EP Prayers. He was also forging a path as a hand poke tattoo artist, and can be seen in an episode of the VICE show Needles & Pins with Grace Neutral.

In 2017 he contributed to Salient with a review of Lorde’s Melodrama, and an interview on Salient FM about music and gender, playing some songs liveto-air. Kit had lived the last few years of his life as a non-binary individual. After moving to Wellington from Auckland he had recently become more open in identifying as a transgender man, and wore a chest binder in the year before his passing. When he moved

to Wellington he would often be found at the inner city flat of our mutual friend, Cole. Cole shared the flat with her then-partner Calse, and their friend Damon.

Kit began a relationship with Damon in early 2017.

I first met Kit online in 2011 after we had both attended an Auckland chapter of SlutWalk. I posted a photo of the denim jacket I had worn that day, with a hastily scrawled “NO MEANS NO”, on my Tumblr.

Kit reblogged it saying, “I saw this girl at the walk today and wanted to ask her out so bad!” We kept in touch online and ran into each other at parties, and though we didn’t see each other in person a lot, that was okay. We were both introverted and anxious and didn’t have to make excuses. We could still maintain a friendship through chat windows. We received our diagnoses of borderline personality disorder around 26

There is a Better World (There Must Be) the same time, and bonded further over that unique safety in being able to talk to someone openly, without judgement, to someone who was just as crazy as you.

Kit attended my first and only show I performed under a former musical alias at my shitty Kingsland flat as part of a fundraiser for dolphins. After I played he asked his partner at the time for all the money they had on them, for me to pose in a photo with them, so I would look successful. Four years later, after we had both moved to Wellington, I would attend Kit’s last ever show, a gig organized as part of the Vic UFO Women’s Week that raised over $1000 for Shakti Women’s Refuge. I told him how amazing his set was and his face lit up with the biggest grin I had ever seen, that pure hit of sweet sincere validation from one Borderline to another. We shared a spliff in a parked car and talked about how shit everything felt, but at least we were here. And then less than a week later he was gone.

that evening. Because respite facilities do not provide frequent check-ins on residents, his body was not found until the morning of Friday 11th.

On Monday 7th August, after growing increasingly unstable and upset, Kit stopped himself from a suicide attempt last minute. Cole called Te Haika, who advised Kit to control his breathing and contact his GP when possible.

“It was basically go and do some breathing exercises, have a cig and a cup of tea,” Cole told me. On Tuesday the decision was made

by Kit’s friends to take him into the hospital to meet with CATT (Crisis Assessment and Treatment team) and discuss how to proceed to ensure his safety.

CATT broached the subject of Kit staying with Cole, Calse, and Damon, which all three felt was unsafe due to their full-time study and work schedules. They felt they would be unable to provide Kit with the time and care necessary while he was so at risk, and were told it was either that or respite, which Cole felt was an ultimatum. “They didn’t give us any advice, they just said we had to pick one now.”

“I was still in the towel, and I ran into [my friend’s] arms, I was all wet, and I just cried,” she said. At this stage Kit’s death had been known to Te Haika for over 24 hours, and he had been dead for at least 32. Neither Cole, Calse, or Damon received any contact from Te Haika or respite in this time or after.

On the Saturday morning, Cole and Calse were preparing to leave to pick up Kit from the respite and take him to the airport. They had not heard from Kit since leaving respite on Thursday evening, and attempts at calling his phone from Friday onward went through to the answering machine. With no available contact number for the respite, she called the Te Haika hotline seeking a number for the facility, who after several holds and transfers said they were unable to disclose that information, but would pass on her call to Kit’s listed next of kin. Assuming she would be informed if something was wrong, Cole jumped in the shower while she waited for an update. The phone rang as she climbed out — it was Kit’s mother telling her Kit was dead.

We drove up to Auckland from Wellington on Saturday 19th for the funeral. I have agoraphobia and didn’t last 24 hours in Auckland before I had to get out; no flights were available so I booked the first 11 hour bus home, set with a couple of Zopiclone my GP had given me. I felt horrible missing the funeral, but I knew Kit wouldn’t mind, he always understood. I sent him a message on Facebook apologizing. I’ve sent him a lot of messages since then.

Police made their first contact the week following Kit’s death in a call requesting Cole and Damon come in to give interviews to assist with the coroner’s statement, with follow up emails in September and October.

Following Kit’s death, Damon had moved in with his father in his hometown, and it wasn’t until November 7th that he and Cole found the time and energy to give their statements to police. If the coroner decided Kit’s death was preventable, a case against the services involved would be viable. The statements from Te Haika, CATT, and respite would hold huge influence over the final outcome of the coroner’s statement. Cole does not know to what lengths they divulged their involvement. While police offered advice on how to

It was arranged for Kit to stay at a local respite facility, with plans made for him to fly up to Auckland the coming Saturday to stay with his mother until something more concrete could be put in place. Kit was distraught at the idea of returning to Auckland, a source of a lot of his trauma, but he understood there was no other option and was happy for Cole and Calse to take him to the airport that weekend.

The last time they would see Kit would be Thursday; exhausted, he lay in Cole’s arms at respite and apologized for what he was putting her through. Cole believes Kit took his life not long after they left respite 27

There is a Better World (There Must Be) follow through with legal action, including information regarding the Health and Disability Commission, at no point did they mention any time limit on the coroner’s inquest, only that its finalization and the return of Kit’s belongings at his time of death would signify the case’s closure. Between grieving her close friend and a full-time study and work schedule, when Cole felt confident in considering pursuing further legal action, the case had already been closed. At present time Cole is unsure if there is still an opportunity to seek some kind of accountability from Te Haika, or if she even has the resources to do so, adding she would not want to overstep any boundaries, or cause upset for Kit’s family.

inpatient deaths, and two of people who were on approved leave from these clinics. As of December 2017, 11 of New Zealand’s 20 district health boards do not even require respite centres to record suicide attempts on their premises.

Cole and Damon are still finding it hard to talk about what happened last August, and this is their first time speaking of it outside of their tight-knit group of friends. “The last official interaction [that I had] of any kind was during a police statement I gave last year,” says Damon. “If they have made any effort to ensure this sort of thing doesn’t happen again, that's really all I can ask. I’m trying to think of things to say about Kit, but all I can really think of at the moment is that I miss them.” I asked Cole what she wants to change in mental health treatment in New Zealand. “I think our government needs to be more aware of the actual situation around mental health at the moment, not even just with an increase in funding for more staff and facilities, but it needs to be more of a focus on education within the community.” When asked what she wishes Te Haika could have done at the time, she tried to start several sentences but cut off each one, and sighed. “I don’t even know. I wish they could have just looked after Kit and taken the situation more seriously.”

So many questions run through my mind over and over when I think about Kit’s passing. If Kit required 24/7 watch, why did Te Haika suggest respite, where residents are not regularly monitored? Inpatient psychiatric wards are specifically designed to prevent suicide attempts, i.e. no railings to attach roping or cord. Why did Te Haika not take his lengthy history of suicide attempts seriously? From my own experience I know Borderlines are heavily stigmatized, even by professionals, with acts of self-harm relegated as attention seeking. Why was there no communication from Te Haika with his close friends who were actively working with these services to get him care? I continue to watch my friends grieve and try to reconcile this series of events, while the people responsible for Kit’s death close their books, with no accountability or even an admittance of fault, having jotted Kit Taylor down as another unfortunate statistic. That statistic shouldn’t exist. Is it too much to ask for those under care in our mental health system to be kept alive by the people and facilities they are entrusted to?

Kit Taylor was a fucking star. It feels weird to speak in the past tense, and it feels hollow to write these words for someone who can no longer read them. I wish I could tear out these pages, ball them up, pound them into the earth so you could hear them, even as a whisper, maybe, wherever you are. You are gone, and I am sick like you are sick. I wear your fur coat and feel strong, and safe. Are you safe now? We miss you so much.

--------------

New Zealand has the highest youth suicide rate in the developed world. In 2013 there were 2,866 hospitalisations of youth for intentional acts of selfharm. From July 1st 2014 to June 30th 2016, there were 238 suicides of New Zealanders between ages 12 and 24. Every 67 hours a young person commits suicide in New Zealand, and transgender youth are five times more at risk; in a 2012 survey of 8,500 transgender secondary school students, 40% reported depressive symptoms and instances of self-harm, and 1 in 5 trans students had attempted suicide in the past year. As for inpatient deaths, from 2001-2012 there were 30 reported suicides within New Zealand inpatient facilities; in 2014 there were six reported

You can listen to Kit’s music online at kittaylor. bandcamp.com. All proceeds go to mental health charities and organizations for helping young people in music.

Written by Katie Meadows Artwork by Luna Debris

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CHEAP AND FREE MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES Counselling and therapy can be out of the price range of the average student. Here’s some ways you can get help for cheap.

Counselling - VUW health and counselling services have a bad reputation, but when used correctly, have much to offer students. Give them a chance to help. Fill in the intake form so they know how best to help you.

Book appointments ahead of time. GPs can also give you referrals to University counsellors who can move your appointments forward if you’re lucky. Call: 04 463 5310.

- If you're at Victoria Uni you can apply for the Hardship Fund and the University can give you money to get counselling. Book an appointment with a student finance advisor on 0800 842 867.

- Ask your GP to see if you're eligible for Compass Health funded counselling or WINZ funding.

- If you're female identifying, hit up the Wellington Women's Health Collective for free counselling (they also do free pregnancy testing). 04 384 7709 or wwhc.org.nz - To find a list of queer and trans friendly region based doctors, counselors and support services visit Genderminorities.com -Rape Crisis (04-801 8973), Sexual Abuse HELP Wellington (04 801 6655), and MOSAIC (Supporting Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse - 022 419 3416​ ) all offer free or low-cost counselling and support to survivors of sexual abuse.

- ACC Sensitive Claims Unit funds counselling, for life, for anyone who has experienced sexual abuse. Go to findsupport.co.nz to find a counsellor and start the process for assessment and treatment planning.

Psychologists -Ask your GP for a referral to the DHB mental health team to see a social worker and then a psychologist (free). They also have a drugs and alcohol addictions team — this is for more serious cases of mental health, generally a last option sort of thing, but still worth looking into.

- Victoria Psychology Clinic is cheap-ish, $20 for unwaged clients and students and $60 for waged clients. 04 463 6400.

- Some GP practices have a psych that comes in weekly who can also assess you for diagnosis etc., and recommend best practice.

Phone Lines If you just need someone to talk to, always remember there are so many text and talk lines out there. They are helpful even just to vent or try and identify your issues and feelings.

Free call or text 1737 anytime for support from a trained counsellor Safe to Talk (sexual violence) - 0800 044 334 or text 4334 Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP) Youthline (for youth) – 0800 376 633 or free text 234 Outline (LGBTQIA+) – 0800 688 5463 Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) Healthline – 0800 611 116 to talk to a registered nurse Samaritans – 0800 726 666 Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757 Anxiety New Zealand 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY) The Lowdown NZ (for youth) — free text 5626 or visit thelowdown.co.nz

When seeking out free and low-cost counselling, check that the counsellor you are planning to talk to has attended a training programme (degree or post-graduate degree/diploma), has regular supervision with a clinical supervisor and is registered with a professional association.

By Kate Aschoff

29

Columns

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS

VUWSA

MARLON DRAKE

PADDY MILLER

Kia ora mate, it’s the mental health column and I’ve got 300 words to talk about it. Let’s get through it as quickly yet meaningfully as we can!

Throughout my ordeal with an eating disorder and recovery, I longed to be “normal”. I wished I could go through my day and not be preoccupied with the thought of food. I wished I could wipe all my knowledge of calories and eat without a care in the world. I was envious of my friends who could eat a chocolate bar without the need to psychoanalyze the decision.

1. I went through somes serious bouts of depression, anxiety, and self destructive behaviour over quite a few years. I did counselling for three of those years with 3 different counsellors. I got through it and I’m really proud of that. Everyone gets down sometimes though, so I’ve got some helpful things to remember for when YOU are a depressed Dave.

This year I was talking to my flatmate about my desire to be “normal”. I had just eaten a lot for dinner and dessert. I felt full. Uncomfortably full. My mind was suddenly swimming with negative thoughts about my body. My eyes filled with tears and I asked her, “why can’t I be normal...why can’t I be more like you?” She erupted in laughter and quickly launched in to give me a hug. “Trust me I am not normal!” she said. “No one is”.

2. Remember, a nasty affliction of depression is not you. Your anxiety isn’t who you are. Underneath the grey blanket there is a person who is just waiting to throw off the covers and get out of bed, and that’s true no matter how heavy the blanket is.

3. Make sure you ask for help. Not because I said so, or because everyone is telling you to, but because you are worth it. Despite what the black dog may be barking, you are the cat’s meow.

This is the thing I am slowly learning to understand.

Everyone has their own issues, no matter how perfect their lives seem to be.

4. It’s okay to be sad. Being sad is just like being happy, which is just like being angry, which is just like being scared, etc. Depression has a funny way of taking your feelings and turning them into something a bit fucked, but when that happens, that’s okay too.

Just remind yourself what’s happening.

At university it is hard not to feel like you’re the only one who hasn’t got their shit together. Newsflash: no one does! There is a tendency for us to hide our feelings and struggles, which only aids the façade of perfection.

There is great strength in vulnerability and honesty. So if you are going through a tough time, talk to someone – a trusted friend, family member, or university counselor. The chances are, you are not the only one.

5. Get to know yourself, and look after yourself. The fact is, it’s a wild world out there, and it’s reasonably full of noise. Sometimes the volume is up a bit high, but just remember the immortal words of George Harrison: all things must pass!

6. These are four things I tell myself. They might not work for you, or they might. Everyone is different. The best way to figure out what works is to talk, and talk lots, even to yourself as a start! Look after yourself.

Lots of love, Marlon x 30

It’s What Inside That Counts Your Homo sapiens sapiens body is part of a feedback loop responding to all kinds of biological, psychological, and cultural processes. These all have to be taken into account when trying to produce a better picture of how we work, both physically and mentally. But sometimes you just want an easy answer.

We thought we had one in the bold new realm of the microbiome.

A microbiome is the genome, or total sum of genetic material, of all the microorganisms (or microbiota) on a human. Meaning, you are merely an upright lightning-powered, meaty ecosystem for microorganisms, and like any ecosystem, you can be thrown off balance by any slight detrimental change.

Microbiota are found in the nose, mouth, skin, and vagina, but the main ones of interest are the ones in the digestive tract, responsible for digesting your food and synthesising sugars and vitamins. The central nervous system communicates with your stomach’s nervous system through a pathway called the gutbrain axis. A hypothesis followed that detrimental changes to the microbiome, like the introduction of harmful bacteria, can have an effect on your mental health, contributing to anxiety and depression. To test this, the gut-brain axis had been expanded to include the microbiome, being rebranded as the “microbiomegut-brain axis”.

Investigating how our personal germ zoos alter our behaviour opens up whole new paths of study, but so far, actually demonstrating their effect on human mental health is proving difficult, despite promising results.

For example, a series of studies on mice have shown that an infection with the nausea-inducing bacteria like Campylobacter causes them to have anxiety-like symptoms when faced with a maze puzzle.

Testers were careful to ensure that the mice were

infected in such a way that their anxiety symptoms are separate from the stress that would be caused by an immune response such as gut inflammation. These responses measured by the increased presence of the stress molecule corticosterone, and other factors that indicated a brain chemistry associated with anxiety.

While this indicates that there is some kind of effect on mental well-being from gut bacteria, the difficulty in translating this to humans is that while we have similar gut-brain interactions to mice, we have completely different niches, metabolisms, and dietary demands, making the applicability of these studies to people tenuous at best. Lab mice are usually either bred or conditioned to have a certain health profile prior to testing to ensure accurate, trustworthy results, whereas humans can barely stick to one diet for a whole January, making human trials near impossible.

While people with health conditions like irritable bowel syndrome often suffer acute stress, it can be difficult to discern where this is a result of the immune response, the overall health of the microbiota, or if one feeds into the other.

This doesn’t necessarily mean the end of the study, but with the media being what it is, the importance of the microbiome has been over exaggerated.

Harvard professor William P. Hanage, in a piece for Nature, described the study of microbiomics as having “drowned in a tsunami of its own hype”, and encouraged scientists and science writers to exercise skepticism when talking about any all-encompassing effect on human well-being. Well, duly noted, sir.

So if I had to pass anything on, I’d remind people that science is less about leaping to conclusions and more about gesturing in the vague direction of one.

And that the best seasoning for consuming any media about the microbiome is a grain of salt.

31

Columns

SWAT

ACCESS DENIED

ALEXANDER WALKER

LILLI STREET

Supporting someone going through a difficult time is hard. Often it can feel like you don’t have the right to speak out, that you don’t deserve to feel sad because “at least I’m not going through _____”. We give no thought to our own wellbeing when a friend calls us in the middle of the night to talk about their feelings. It’s as though some programming in our brain suddenly lights up with one mission only: helping our friend.

One of the questions I often get asked is if Disability Services and CanDo also include mental illnesses under the definition of disability. We definitely do!

When I first arrived at university, I didn’t consider how my mental illness would affect my study. I was undiagnosed at the time, but as the trimesters wore on I discovered how my mind interacted with the new academic pressures of university. When shit hit the fan, I was left without support.

The truth is, supporting a friend’s mental health means looking after your own. It means making sure that you’re not just absorbing your friend’s pain without having your own outlet. It means creating boundaries if you feel like you’ve become someone's last resort. And that’s hard. It’s hard to take a step back from our instincts to help, it’s hard to tell a friend in pain that we might be in pain too.

I used to have a major issue with this. A doctor once told me that I seemed “drawn to people in pain,” and he didn’t mean it as a compliment. It felt like I was trapped in a constant state of panic. The idea of boundaries and outlets seemed ridiculous — what if it hurt my friend’s feelings? What if I made things worse? No, no, far better to just continue being there for them, far better to let things remain as they were.

I’ve come to realise that this mindset wasn’t doing me or my friend any favours. When I began making my boundaries clearer, when I began ensuring that I was never someone’s last resort, I was suddenly able to help in a much stronger and healthier way. The worry I felt was lifted, and I could be supportive with genuine energy.

We all have mental health. It’s not something that dramatically pops out with a diagnosis, it’s a companion we have throughout our entire lives. That’s why we need to be aware of how we’re feeling when we’re supporting someone. We need to be there for our friends, but we also need to be there for ourselves too. Keeping ourselves safe will keep our friends safe too.

I came back to university a year later, and approached Disability Services after one of my friends encouraged me to do so. Bringing my documents with me, the advisor I was assigned explained how they might be able to meet my needs during my study. My advisor also assured me that disclosure of my disability was my choice, and that no information would be provided to my lecturers and tutors without my consent.

Going to Disability Services showed me that academic success is possible with disability. This story may sound generic, but everyone has different needs — and if you find yourself struggling academically due to mental health issues, Disability Services can help you. It is not a weakness to ask for help. In the world of academia, where you must rely on your own determination, it’s easy to admit defeat. I almost did.

But here I am, with one course left in my degree, because I took that step and talked to Disability Services. It exists for students, just as CanDo exists to represent students.

Much love, Lilli Street

32

Columns

THE "F" WORD

PSC: ONE OCEAN

HANNAH HAWKINS ELDER

LAURA TOAILOA

When most of us think about sexism, we bring to mind the overt, grab-her-by-the-pussy rhetoric of figures like Donald Trump. This is understandable given that these examples have significant “shock value”, made more salient by prolific media coverage. However, we need to realise that subtler sexism occurs every day closer to home.

Benevolent sexism refers to sexist behaviours and attitudes which appear positive but, overall, harm the cause of gender equality and sometimes the individual towards whom they’re directed. Some simple examples are the age-old adage “ladies first”; the social convention that a woman shouldn’t have to pay on a date; and societal privileging of motherhood and child-rearing.

These examples may appear entirely benign, or even positive. That is entirely the point.

However, despite less aversive packaging, benevolent sexism is built on the same gender stereotypes that underlie the more familiar “hostile sexism” – that women should be provided for, patronized, and viewed as decorative objects.

Hence, benevolent sexism actually reinforces and perpetuates the same stereotypes and traditional gender roles that inspire ongoing gender inequality.

It is the friendly crutch propping up more sinister phenomena like rape culture, victim-blaming, and the gender pay gap.

As women, it can be tempting to see benevolent sexism as harmless or our “due” in return for all the other shit we have to swallow. But if we really want to make gender equality a reality, we have to let go of the perceived “benefits” of benevolent sexism in order to stamp out the harms of misogyny overall.

It’s not an easy task. Especially as the subtlety of benevolent sexism makes it much harder to identify.

But these entrenched ideas and practices won’t shift if we go on accepting them.

You don’t have to rock the world right up front.

Start small – split the bill.

CW: mention of suicide, rape The hardest thing about writing this column is fearing the inescapable fact that I’m gonna miss something important out. And that’s part of our whole problem right? We don’t talk about our mental health enough, and I want this column to be an all-encompassing something for us, as young Pacific people. But within this word-count, I just want to say, you’re fucking resilient for surviving this world.

If your parents are struggling to pay rent, bills, support family, the church, and the community, and make sure you can focus on education, it takes a toll.

If you’ve been molested or raped or in any way sexually harassed (especially as a child and especially by a family member), it takes a toll.

If you’ve been made to feel disgusting, shameful, or wrong for being who you are, from your own family, church, or community, it takes a toll.

If you’ve been pressured to come to university for the sake of it but aren’t prepared and are completely overwhelmed by this place, it takes a toll.

When the colour of your skin, or your accent, or your last name has shut doors before anyone has seen how wonderful your mind and soul are, it takes a toll.

If you feel like you and your parents have unbridgeable gaps, because how you grew up and how they grew up means you’re living in two different worlds and there’s a risk that moving forward may mean cutting ties with things that are foundational to their world, it takes a toll.

If you’re pregnant and you feel your only options brings shame and danger to yourself, it takes a toll.

If your brain’s chemistry means that how you receive information about the world is different to everyone else in your life, it takes a toll.

There’s a quote I saw on Instagram that said, “People cry not because they’re weak. It’s because they’ve been strong for too long”. After I rolled my eyes, I adapted it: “People kill themselves not because they’re weak. It’s because they’ve been strong for too long.” I don’t know why different people choose to commit suicide, but that’s what I needed to tell myself.

I hope it helps you.

33

Columns

NT: TE ARA TAUIRA

UNIQ: THE QUEER AGENDA

REGAN SWORD

ERIN PAGE

“He kokonga whare e kitea, he kokonga ngākau e kore e kitea.” “A corner of a house may be seen and examined but not so the corners of the heart.” This whakataukī supports our kaupapa of mental health, as it can relate to the current struggle of knowing someone who is suffering from mental illness.

Kia ora koutou katoa.

I hope your mid-tri break was relaxing, full of sleep, and gave you time to catch your breath!

As some of you may have seen, a few weeks ago, myself and Bethany (VUWSA’s awesome Welfare Vice President) presented an oral submission to the select committee on the Births, Deaths and Marriages Amendment Bill. Our submission was to advocate for the process of changing the sex marker on one’s birth certificate to be taken out of the Family Court, and instead done through the Department of Internal Affairs as a self-declaration (like with passports), making it an easier and less stressful process. We also stated that the current requirement for a person to have had medical treatment is inequitable, because not everybody who knows their gender is different to what was assigned to them at birth (or those who do not identify with gender), needs or wants to have medical treatment. This only enforces a binary system in a world that is much bigger than a binary.

We proposed that one could change their marker to M, F, or request to leave that section blank, because ultimately, a birth certificate is just a record of a birth.

Whichever marker gets placed on the certificate is just a doctor looking at you and saying that if you’ve got X down there, therefore you are X. Whatever is “in your pants” is absolutely not the determinant of your identity. No-one but you can be the judge of your identity.

In the 2012/13 New Zealand Health Survey, one in six New Zealanders had been diagnosed with a common mental disorder. The survey showed that the suicide rate for men was 2.7 times higher than for women in 2013/14. In the same survey, statistics showed that Māori had a higher risk of suicide than non-Māori. Māori were 1.7 times as likely to have experienced psychological distress than non-Māori.

However, there are many support services in New Zealand that are continuing to reach out to Māori and to help Māori with their mental health issues.

Here at Victoria University, there are a number of support services available for all students. The biggest challenge is to get our tauira to come along and try out these free services. As a tauira myself, it can be difficult to step out of my comfort zone and to reach out to these support services because of the judgement that might come with it. But don’t think you have to deal with it on your own.

At Mauri Ora, there are free wellbeing workshops that focus on different topics each month to improve your mental wellbeing. As an ambassador of mental wellbeing at Victoria University, I hope to encourage more tauira to take advantage of these services, and to start a new journey of hauora, with support backing them all the way.

I hope the people who will be affected by this have been taken into account first and foremost, because everyone deserves the right to have security in their identity.

You’re all wonderful humans, and you all deserve the absolute best <3 Queerly yours, Erin 34

IN OUR DANICA SOICH

Give Bees a Chance I’m watching bees collect nectar from the teeth of dandelions in my neglected garden.

Swift as tigers, the bees hum with clumps of pollen cradled behind their knees. There is something mystical about bees. In Celtic law, they are messengers of the dead. Karl Marx propounded bees as a perfect model for human society. My mum believes that the honey they make is the magic cure for everything.

I found the local hive a couple of weeks ago. It sits in a glade in the Botans, with a view of the whole big belly of Wellington sky. White bells of clover lie strewn through the grass, but few bees were on collection. Most had been driven inside by the bad weather. The five tiered white box seemed to vibrate, alive with quiet industry.

Bees live in a harmonious society, despite no politicians, no police, no lawyers.

Within the white walls of the hive, the society is divided into three castes. The Queen (God save her) is the only reproductive female in the hive. Having chewed herself from her cell at birth, the queen’s first act is to use her sting to kill the squirming queen rivals. She then takes her nuptial flight with a swarm of drones — the few hundred males in the hive and the only bees to lack a sting. The queen mates in midair and only once. The drone dies instantly.

Honeymoon over, the queen returns home and begins to lay 2000 eggs each day. By expugning certain chemicals, she inflicts sterility on all other females, and keeps her subjects calm and content.

The hive buzzes with thousands of genetically similar females — the worker bees. They busy themselves with constructing honeycomb, cleaning, feeding the queen and young, and guarding the hive. At times, the bees function as a single organism, with emergent properties.

The bees fan air into and out of the colony

entrance in distinct inhalations and exhalations.

On cold days, the entire colony will warm the swarm by vibrating their wings. After three weeks, the genetic expression of the worker bee changes. They are promoted to foragers, who voyage out from the hive to gather pollen, nectar, and water. For her ceaseless work, a worker bee will make 1/12th of a teaspoon of honey in her six week lifetime.

There is a haze of uncertainty surrounding the status of honey bees. Some sources claim a precipitous decline in the world’s bee population. Others claim it’s not so bad.

Regardless, it is undeniable that certain areas have been struck by declination. In southwest China, where wild bees have vanished, farmers laboriously hand-pollinate pear and apple trees with brushes. Closer to home, beekeepers close to Nelson are sweeping up piles of dead bees.

The cause of death is mysterious and complex.

Science has linked bee mortality to the world's most ubiquitous kind of insecticides, neonicotinoids. Used by the agriculture sector globally, neonicotinoids enter the plants composition, becoming part of the pollen and nectar. When colonies survive on this poison laced pollen, the bees become deranged.

Unable to recognise flowers, to navigate, to eat, to produce healthy young, the hive perishes.

Another killer is the Varroa Destructor.

First detected in New Zealand in 2000, this vampirish pin-sized mite feeds on the blood of bees and larvae, spreading disease.

Other causes of death include not enough blooming flowers, and the usual culprit — climate change.

What to do? I’m not sure, and neither are scientists. Hope for a ban on neonicotinoids and a shift towards more ecological farming. Hope for a cure for Varroa Mite to be discovered quickly. Hope for real action on climate change.

In the meantime, scatter some wildflowers.

35

ART HIVE MIND REVIEW: NINA DYER

Hive Mind is an exhibition realised through a conversation in images between Laura Duffy and Maddy Plimmer, facilitated by Sean Burns.

weight of technological impediments in our daily experience. Instead of a Black Mirror-esque vision of the future, in which intelligent systems are implanted in eyes and taken for granted (to perilous effect), Hive Mind’s surreal visuals are ultimately grounded in today’s technological realities.

Softly droning TV screens emit rotating, highly textured surfaces of organic forms. Familiar yet indecipherable, the forms are like a language one once spoke but no longer comprehends. The indeterminate surfaces tease the viewer’s mind — they seem to develop into clearer realisation, only to disintegrate into pixelated nothingness. On the floor lie two complementary images constructed by artificial intelligence from what they “know” of our visual reality. Although these initially appear to be low resolution nature photographs, the blurred contours and general lack of sharpness are in fact a result of the bot’s limited familiarity with the details of a natural landscape or cosmic formation.

The logic that connects the central video works with a group of flame-less, flickering LED lamps cast into butt-plug silhouettes isn't immediately apparent. “In a time of endless imagery, what tools can we use to communicate outside of words? What is understood and what is missed?” asks the exhibition text. The disjunction between the works is surely a natural result of the artists' wordless conversation, and makes for entertaining viewing regardless.

After about five minutes with the screens I managed to tentatively identify oysters and a mould of a face caked in cracking layers of a clay-like substance, impossibly clear honey being drizzled, and perhaps a microscopic cross-section of blood cells. How long did it take the CaptionBot.ai to recognise forms within these visuals compared to my distracted human brain? What is the comparative accuracy of image recognition between a human and machine brain?

Sometimes the professed hyper-efficiency of artificial intelligence systems fails to translate when employed in mundane, everyday tasks. They also make mistakes.

The incorporation of bots in HiveMind gives us a sense of the futuristic direction that technology is moving in, but also an idea of the stage we’re in at the moment — one that carries the promise of a more efficient future, but a promise that may be overstated by its creators.

Employed here to interpret the central videos, CaptionBot.ai is a system that employs deep learning to intelligently decode images with a near-human level of accuracy. Created by Microsoft Cognitive Services, it identifies images fed to it based on the stores of visual information it has been fed previously.

It then captions your image in a way that mimics human speech. Microsoft calls these increasingly humanised responses to data “natural methods of communication” in their product advertisement. “I’m not confident but it looks like a body of water” is one of the captions projected via a third TV screen and a neon blue holographic fan protruding from one of the white walls. The first person pronoun leads the viewer to assume that a person is making the aforementioned judgement call. Creepy. Though not as creepy as it would be if the hologram weren’t accommodated by a small box and USB that inevitably expose the ghostly lettering’s source. This is not to say that the artist failed in their intent to produce a desired effect; rather, the physical presence of technological objects like wiring, as well as the malfunctioning of one of the exhibition’s digital interfaces, reflects the current

Hive Mind is on at The Engine Room until 10 May, at the School of Art, College of Creative Arts, 63 Wallace Street, Entrance C, Block 1 Wellington.

You can see the conversation in images between the artists at hivemind.observer.

36

FILMS MENTAL HEALTH IN FILM CW: SUICIDE MENTION

THE OLD: LARS AND THE REAL GIRL REVIEW: AMY STIMSON

THE NEW: THE SKELETON TWINS

BY EMMA MAGUIRE

This is perhaps the saddest film I have ever loved. I watched it in a cinema full of people who watched it and laughed at the funny parts. I cried. I was doing my Masters thesis on loneliness at the time and the whole way through I was just thinking “this is what loneliness would look like if it were visible”.

Milo (Bill Hader) makes an attempt on his own life. He wakes up in a hospital room to see his sister, Maggie (Kristen Wiig), who has been narrowly stopped from doing the same thing. The pair reconcile, and Milo moves in with Maggie and her husband, Lance. Things quickly devolve from there, as circumstances erode Milo and Maggie’s relationship, and the pair nearly meet their end together.

The film centres around Lars (Ryan Gosling fittingly playing an incomprehensible misfit), living in his married brother’s garage apartment. One day he brings home his girlfriend, Bianca. She is a mail-order life-size inflatable doll. To the horror of his family and the bemusement of their small town, Bianca becomes a functioning part of his life (though she is in a wheelchair – quadriplegic, you know). All his loved ones attempt to support him and Bianca during her visit.

It is bizarre to see noted comic actors in such a serious piece. This is a dark film, it pulls no punches, but it also has a weird kind of comedy to it. Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether to laugh or cry.

This is a film about serious depression. It’s a film about spiraling so deep that it doesn’t seem like there’s hope for recovery. But it’s not just a film about that. The Skeleton Twins is a film for siblings. Though Maggie and Milo have grown apart, they’re still able to hark back to their youth together. It is likely a testament to Hader and Wiig’s long friendship that they can play off each other so strongly.

The film gently navigates the tricky questions it poses about loneliness, about manhood, about family, about communication, about relationships, and about loving each other unconditionally. It’s poignant, it’s funny, and features truly moving performances by Ryan Gosling, Emily Mortimer, Patricia Clarkson, and a surprisingly redemptive role by Paul Schneider.

Watch with a good friend; you’ll need a real person to hug afterwards.

It’s also a film about recovery. Maggie and Milo go through a lot during the course of this film — both of them basically have their lives ruined — but they find a way to pull through. Though recovery is hard, it’s entirely possible, even at the end of all things.

37

TELEVISION GAME OF THRONES: SEASON 7 REVIEW: CONALL AIRD AND GEORGE BULLEID

With Game of Thrones noticeably absent from many of our viewing schedules this year, we thought we’d revisit the show’s latest and worst season to date.

within a few minutes. Season 7’s ridiculous narrative decisions, which see main characters brought together like a Marvel movie (“Eastwatch”), are being made for the sake of reaching some sort of conclusion.

Some of the time, bizarre, most of the time, messy.

In the beginning, Game of Throne’s scale, characters, and world remained consistent. A place where travel took time, where events occurred on the road, not just at the destination, where there were dire consequences for characters actions, and where Ed Sheeran refrained from promoting his mediocre new album. Without the same material that guided early seasons of the show, and having the luxury of time, Game of Thrones showrunners David Benioff and D.B Weiss are now left to their own creative devices. This has resulted in a full-on sprint to the finish line, leaving no room for the interesting stories, big or small, that once made GOT such a compelling and unique show.

The show presented a fantasy world that felt real enough for mainstream audiences to buy into ice zombies and dragons, fiction previously considered niche. Main characters were killed off as a way of moving the story forward and establishing a grim world where political errors are met with dire consequences. There was a strong sense of cause and effect that helped create a living, breathing world, now absent in season 7. Most famously, Robb Stark’s choice to backtrack on a politically arranged marriage led to his death and the death of his mother, wife, and unborn child. In season two Jaime Lannister, known as one of the greatest swordsman in Westeros, loses his hand purely through his unabashed pride and arrogance. Contrast this with Season 7 when Jaime faces “certain death” by charging a dragon on a horse only to be saved at the last minute, solely to have a showdown between two fan favourites with no consequences. Once known for avoiding typical fantasy tropes, GOT’s narrative boldness is waning. In its current state, the show wouldn’t have had the guts to kill Ned Stark.

In Season 7, the understanding and respect for the world that has been built up carefully in the first 4 seasons, albeit under the brilliant writing of George RR Martin, has been discarded in favour of moving the story along quickly to reach a crowd-pleasing conclusion. There was a noticeable dip in writing quality when the showrunners overtook the books around season 5, yet the show still managed to continue the slow burn, though with fewer interesting storylines and characters whose motivations were less complex (Varys, Littlefinger, Tyrion). These seasons at least attempted to recognise the constraints of the world that was so meticulously created, the blistering plot progression of Season 7 now makes that approach seem entirely unjustified and jarring.

Despite the prevalence of both morally and politically “grey” events, we always knew Game of Thrones would end in a battle between good and evil. It’s a shame that the plot has shifted from a complex narrative web to a crowd-pleasing straight line to get there.

Major plot points, which in early seasons would have been defining moments for episodes, are now bundled up and sold as a cheap variety pack. In an episode of the most recent season we see our heroes create a plan to capture a white walker, organise a meeting with Cersei, sends Davos and Tyrion to Kings landing, organise another meeting (this time with Jamie), have Jon travel back to the Wall and take Jorah with him, all 38

MUSIC SEX & FOOD BY UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA REVIEW: JOSH ELLERY

Sex & Food is the latest from Ruban Nielson’s Unknown Mortal Orchestra, a group that has morphed into one of my favourite bands over the last few years. Their previous three albums are all stellar, and I still revisit them frequently, so I was pretty hyped for this new release.

Sex & Food shares many of its technical highlights with previous records as well. I love how Nielson’s voice sits in the mix, and is filtered through all manner of effects. I love the effortless pop songwriting. I love the direct and often quirky lyricism. My qualm is that (arguably) the best track (“American Guilt”) shakes me out of the songs surrounding it, in a way that makes the tracks directly after it seem a little pedestrian. I think this is a result of shaking up an album of cohesive, largely down-tempo songs with a garage rock track that doesn’t necessarily fit the template. On the other hand, this band has never been one to follow a template, and perhaps my perspective on this will change with continued listening.

Sex & Food is probably more akin to II than MultiLove, but continues the development of the projects sound. Standouts “Hunnybee” and “Everyone Acts Crazy Nowadays” emanate from the same palette as the dancey singles from Multi-Love, showcasing this groups signature funky groove, and the downtempo “Not In Love We’re Just High” and albumcloser “If You’re Going To Break Yourself” showcase Nielson’s ability to hold back in an arrangement – restraint is such an effective and under-utilized tool in popular music today. With that said, he also knows when to expand and build up an arrangement, as showcased in “Not In Love…”. All in all, this album seems to draw from the best facets of each of the projects previous albums, and blends these styles with success (generally).

My nitpicking inclinations are pretty minimal though, this album is still very very good. UMO has a winning formula, and this album makes it four wicked albums out of four. Get stuck in, and catch them live in Welly in September.

39

BOOKS THE BOOKS THAT GET ME THROUGH REVIEW: ALEX FEINSON

For the mental health issue of Salient, I’m diverting slightly from the original format of a standard review. As a book lover, my go-to activity when I am descending head first down the deep dark black hole of sadness is to crack open a book and descend into that world instead. So here are some mini reviews of five books that have gotten me through some tough AF times.

4. Can You Tolerate This? by Ashleigh Young.

Literally just putting this on this list because it is probably one of the best books I’ve ever read, and I love it so much that I haven’t stopped reading and re-reading it since I bought a copy, which has overlapped with some sad times, so technically that counts.

1. Atonement by Ian McEwan.

Okay, you might be thinking that this is an odd choice, because why would I want to read a book that will make me feel more depressed? But Atonement has been my favourite book since I was 15, and every time I read it I am completely absorbed in that world.

It is, and has been, the best distraction.

5. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green.

I was a HUGE John Green fan in high school, and reading his books, especially The Fault In Our Stars, got me through a lot of bad times in 2012. While I don’t read his books anymore, and probably never will again, I still have to acknowledge how much this book meant to me as a sad sixteen year old.

5/5 empty Kleenex packets.

3/5 embarrassing emo Tumblr posts.

2. 100 Nasty Women of History by Hannah Jewell.

This book came to me during my most recent lil blip, and by learning about some of the baddest bitches of all time, it reminded me that I am also somewhat of a bad bitch and that things were pretty a-okay.

Especially because I don’t have to fight off invading armies or work out the math to send people into space.

In writing this list, I realised a lot of the books I have mentioned are all very sad and serious. Self-help books don’t work for me, but an exciting, emotional, and dramatic book has often been the best medicine.

How they help my declining mental state is beyond me, but I owe a lot to these books and to these authors for bringing me out of the hole numerous times throughout my life.

5/5 days on a diet consisting of ramen and pasta.

4/5 hours on Youtube watching vine compilations.

If you feel yourself going down the wormhole, try reading a book. It takes you away from negative things like social media, and away from reality for a little bit. Of course this is not an ultimate cure, but if you need a distraction, then a good book might help for the time being. Stay well, stay hydrated, seek help if you need it, but maybe get stuck into a good book too.

3. Anything by Dan Brown.

Okay I know I will get a LOT of hate for this. I know they’re shit. I know they’re ridiculous. But I just bloody love them for the cringy pieces of trash that they are, but with these books I can just blob out, read about wack religious conspiracy theories, and think about Tom Hanks.

1/5 self-deprecating memes for depressed teens. (I couldn’t actually give Dan Brown a good review... I’m not a complete monster).

40

PODCAST WTF WITH MARC MARON REVIEW: TOM WHITE

“Hey folks! Alright let’s do this. How are you what the fuckers, what the fuckbuddies, what the fuckineers, what the fuckadelics, what the fuckocrats, what the fuckpublicans, what’s happening?” So runs the anthemic beginning to a typical episode of Marc Maron’s twice-weekly podcast, WTF.

He’s got grudges, people have got grudges against him. He’s had to apologise to Kumail Nanjiani, he’s had to hash it out with James Franco. But over time you see him improving, repairing, teaching — and you learn from his example.

In the last year and a half the term “WTF” has taken on new meaning for Maron. He’s not a massive fan of the man in the big oval office chair. The idea fills him with dread and he’s not afraid to hide it. An interview with Will Arnett in February 2017 was punctuated every 20 minutes or so with a check for breaking news of nuclear war with North Korea (we’re okay, for now at least). And yet through his own obvious existential terror he’s able to entertain, to extract a story, to find the joke and riff on it.

He doesn’t interview enough women (and this might be to do with Hollywood in general as well). Instead his guests tend to be straight white American men.

He also probably doesn’t prepare enough. But he’s able to extract stories from his guests their publicists must shake their heads at. He’s able to fill his garage with laughs. He’s able to relate to a spoon. And at the end of the day, he’s entertaining as anything. I’ll be heading along to his garage next week. I reckon you should come along.

Each episode, the California comedian and actor talks with a figure of varying celebrity: from Bruce Springsteen and Jennifer Lawrence to stand-up comics known only to the local scene. He’s not in a studio — instead, his guests, including former VicePresident Al Gore and then-President Barack Obama, make their way to the hills of northeast Los Angeles to be interviewed in Maron’s garage. (The Secret Service had to put snipers on the neighbours’ roofs).

Maron begins each show with a monologue, a take on what’s happening in the news and in his life.

When the actual interview begins we enter it midstream, as though we have just entered the room.

We take our seat on the worn-out cigarette-burned sofa, and listen to Jeff Goldblum’s stories, watching Maron bounce off him with a pop culture knowledge valuable on any pub quiz team. After Jeff leaves, we stay for Maron’s hot take on it all. He jams on his 1986 Fender Strat and calls “Boomer lives!”, his sign-off an unfading call to a cat long-lost.

“Boomer lives!”

There are lots of people who interview famous rich (mainly white) people. But not many interviewers would get up mid-interview — mid-sentence — if they thought their cat Buster (missing for three days) had finally returned. Not many would spend more time on their guest’s daddy issues than their new movie — or admit they hadn’t actually seen the whole thing.

Maron’s past has given him a pool of experiences, and his comedic ramblings, as well as entertain, teach a moral lesson: “don’t be disconnected from the humanity around you”; “don’t take people for granted.” These are mistakes he’s made in the past, and they form lessons he can pass on. He’s had issues with anger, self-belief, drugs and alcohol, his father.

Ones to listen to: President Barack Obama, Sir Ian McKellen, James Franco (allegations of sexual harassment kept firmly in mind), Lorde, Billy Crystal, Sacha Baron Cohen.

41

THEATRE THE LIE REVIEW: KATE ASCHOFF

If you’re going to have an audience, any audience, sit through a 2-hour performance, and one 15-minute interval, you better have a damn good play on offer.

I’m no so sure if The Lie passes this test.

Switching into theatre politics, tickets for the show were $25-$54, which is not feasible for most students.

The couples presented in the play were upper middle class, with their red wine and fancy art. They argue over “not wanting to cause a row” in someone else’s relationship because it’s “none of their business”.

In first year theatre we talked about Ibsen’s A Dolls House, a perfect example of “Middle Class Theatre” about middle class issues. I believe the same concept applies well to The Lie.

I will say I left the theatre with a lot to think about. If a piece can make you think about the world in some way or another, then it’s doing fairly good. My car ride home was spent mouthing off about unhealthy relationships, infidelity, middle-class theatre, and misogyny.

Theatre can affirm or isolate people’s life experience.

For me, I found this play incredibly isolating. The things that were presented as big issues seemed mild to the things I’m worried about, like my mental health, or issues with WINZ. But, importantly, for the elderly audience members who had quite clearly made an effort to get out to a show, 4pm on a Sunday afternoon, The Lie was very affirmative. They could relate, see themselves and friends within the characters, understand the social and class politics that were going on. Whenever I rolled my eyes or grimaced, they were laughing.

The premise of The Lie is about a woman who sees her friend’s husband kissing another woman. Does she tell her friend? Is lying the best thing to protect her? Why is her husband so insistent on her not telling her friend?

Unfortunately, these seemingly simple questions take two hours for the play to answer.

The Lie aims to address lying and love, in friendships and relationships. It asks if lying and love can coexist. It presents infidelity as a common occurrence in any monogamous marriage, and as a young, intersectional queer feminist writer this presumption sat quite uncomfortably with me. Perhaps some are comfortable with this idea of relationships, but if these lying elements were present in more youthful relationships, they would be labelled as toxic, unhealthy, and borderline abusive.

Despite the glowing reviews The Lie has gotten from the likes of the UK Guardian, it just wasn’t my cup of tea.

The Lie is showing at Circa Theatre until 5 May 2018.

See the Circa Theatre website for more information.

There was also no resolution to the issues faced in the play, just continued ignorance and compliance.

While maybe this does reflect many relationships, I personally just wasn’t interested in watching and hearing about it. I asked my mother half way through if we wanted to leave because I was finding it painful to watch. We stayed, nonetheless.

It must be acknowledged that the audience, who were majority white and elderly, did really enjoy The Lie. I was the outlier.

42

FOOD FEELING GOOD ABOUT APPLE PIE RECIPE TOM HALL

As the sun starts setting at 5:45 and the mornings start off frostier than usual, my diet begins to look like a bear getting ready for hibernation. Lots of sugar, fats and carbs are going to pop up in the next few recipes, and this one isn’t an exception. Desserts have always been a winter thing for me; sometimes dinner doesn’t cut it, and getting an extra meal in before settling down for the night helps build that body fat that saves the heating bills. Also, if you’re getting a package from the fruit and veg co-op every Thurs (which you totally should) you’ll have a surplus of apples.

with dried beans to help its shape. However you can chill it as a ball.

For the filling, core and chop 5 or 6 apples. Different apple species have different flavors and sweetness; a good bet is Granny Smith. Place a saucepan on the stovetop and bring it up to a medium temperature. Place all the ingredients in the pot and stir occasionally, keeping an eye on the sugar which could burn. When the kitchen begins to smell like apples the sauce should be ready — it takes about 20 mins. The apples need to be soft and properly mixed through the sauce. If the sauce is quite runny and it doesn’t look quite right, try adding small amounts of cornflour while mixing the sauce. That should help it thicken up. Alternatively you could add more sugar, as long as you remember to brush your teeth afterwards. When it’s finished, take it off the heat and place the sauce in a bowl to help it cool down.

Ingredients Pastry 200g Flour — $0.20 125g Butter — $1.50 A pinch of salt < $0.10 1/3 cup chilled water — zilch Apple Filling 5-6 cored and chopped apples — $4 3 pinches of cinnamon < $0.10 3 pinches of nutmeg < $0.10 1/2 lemon of lemon juice — $0.50 1/2 cup of sugar — $0.50 1/2 cup of water — nada

Roll out your dough into a circle about 5 cm wider than your pie tin. Gently lay it into the tin, and push it into the corners right up to the edge of the tin. Grab a butter knife and run it around the edge of the tin to trim the loose pastry. Fill the pie with the sauce.

If you have dough left over, the traditional pattern is criss crossed pastry strips on top of the apple.

To make the pastry on top look nice and golden, it’s a good idea to brush it with beaten egg lightly.

However I like thinly sliced raw apples, layered on top of the sauce with salt sprinkled on top. Pop the pie in the oven at 190 about 20 mins before you have dinner, so by the time you’re ready for dessert, it’s pie-ping hot. It should take 40 to 50 mins, a good way to check is to tap the pastry and see if it crunches. If you have patterned the pastry on top, then that should have a nice golden colour.

As the pastry needs to be chilled for 30 mins, it’s best to make the pastry and chill it while the apples are cooking. Measure out your flour into the bowl and mix the salt through. Chop up the butter into small bits and then grate the butter into the flour. It does sound weird but using cold and grated butter is the best way to make the pastry. Incorporate the butter and the flour together and slowly add the cold water. You’ll want to add the water bit by bit as it could easily become too saturated and porridgy.

Bring the dough into a ball and cover it with glad wrap. You really want to avoid over kneading it, so handle it carefully. To chill it, some people place the dough into a pie tin and weight the bottom down 43

Marie Shannon

Rooms found only in the home

28.4.18 – 24.6.18

Adam Art Gallery Te Pātaka Toi – your gallery on Kelburn campus

Elizabeth Price

A RESTORATION

28.4.18 –24.6.18

An exhibition developed and toured

by Dunedin Public Art Gallery

A video installation commissioned for The Ashmolean and Pitt Rivers Museums, Oxford

FREE ENTRY Tuesday–Sunday, 11am–5pm The gallery is located beside the Student Union building on Kelburn campus adamartgallery.org.nz

Aries (March 21 - Apr 19) If thou livest in a hall of residence, then thou might avoid dinner tonight or thou willst be up all night with thoust shits.

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22) If we were superheroes, then this week you’d be Robin.

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20) Call your parents back you twat.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21) This week is your week! Go and get some, but remember safe sex is fun sex and it’s even cooler when you’re both super into it.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20) Top tip for exam pressure: watch Monty Python all night to laugh at someone else’s life as much as you laugh at yours.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21) You may have a mild addiction to Fortnite, Mario Kart, etc. It’s okay, the first step of recovery is admitting you have a problem.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22) Embrace your tween self and jam to some Panic!

At The Disco.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19) Eat your greens, get early nights, because this week you’ll be getting fresher’s flu (again).

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) I don’t think your sarcasm has gotten rid of all your friends just yet. That’s okay, if you work on it, you’ll be alone in no time!

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18) Go back to your roots and do something childish and random, climb a tree, do some painting, let your inner child out.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22) Stop being a chicken and start saying yes!

Pisces (Feb 19 - March 20) Keep it down in the bedroom! Your flatmates need their sleep more than you need a slice of that pie.

LARRIKINS

Horoscope by Ashley Parker, Larrikins by Anton Huggard, Sudoku by Nathan Hotter, Wordsearch by Joanna Li, Crossword by Puck, Horoscope Art by Zoe Gillett

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SUDOKU

CROSSWORD: STRANGE FRUIT

FUN

LITERAL MURDER

WORDFIND: FEELING GOOD

P F S Z B V C W S I Z S B

I E F A M I L Y B E E F A

Z C B I C F A C E M A S K

Z B E R U C I N A M R D I

A G E C K J A G C U I N N

B N T A R F O M H E K E G

X I L F T E N T B L A I L

C G Q O D Y A Y O L H R M

Z N A I G B J M Y K S F T

C T I S V T H P J R Z F U C H X S X T J E T P D J G

ACROSS 1 Coloured part of the eye (4) 3 Round about, year-wise (5)(6) 5 With 23-Across, SpaceX CEO (4,4) 9 'Pure ____' (Lorde album) (7) 10 Neon pink hue (7) 11 Muppet whose assistant is Beaker (6,8) 14 Winner of the 2018 Best Picture Oscar (3,5,2,5) 17 Wisconsin tourist attraction that features in Neil Gaiman's 'American Gods' (5,2,3,4) 21 His 'Salvator Mundi' set a record last year for the most expensive painting ever sold (2,5) 22 It might put out a fire or be made of snow (7) 23 See 5-Across 24 Fruit that can follow the last words of 5/23-Across, 11-Across, 14-Across and 17-Across (5) 25 Poet Angelou (4)

DOWN 1 Occupies as a home, or a homecountry (8) 2 Married partners (7) 3 Famous film barbarian (or, in a sequel, destroyer) (5) 4 Experience some queer people have to undergo (6,3) 6 Most extended (7) 7 Captain of the world's first couples cruise? (4) 8 Like some truths or stepsisters (4) 12 Put under one's spell (9) 13 Volcano that erupted in 1883 and was heard 3,000 kilometres away (8) 15 Develops slowly (7) 16 GIF, JPEG, or SQL, linguistically (7) 18 Disappear beneath the waves (4) 19 Politician between Jenny and John (5) 20 Driver of 'The Last Jedi' (4)

LAST WEEK'S CROSSWORD ANSWERS WORDS ABBA BAKING BATH BEACH BOYS FACEMASK FAMILY FRIENDS ICE CREAM MACCAS

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MANICURE NETFLIX PETS PIZZA SHAKIRA SINGING VIDEO GAMES

ACROSS: 3: SEX 5: INCEST 7: DUNGEON 8: PHILIA 9: ZOO 12: PEDOPHILES 14: CARBOLIC 17: COOK 18: DEVIANT 19: JAMES

DOWN: 1: WANK 2: CANNIBAL 3: STONING 4: NECRO 6: TAPU 10: ADULTERY 11: CUCKOLD 13: SAGAWA 15: HONOUR 16: ISSEI

THE PEOPLE TO BLAME

Editor Louise Lin

Centrefold Ruby Ash

Designer/Illustrator Ruby Ash

News Writers Tori Bright, Olivia Philip, Laura Sutherland, Andrew Lenson, Nisha Novell, Vita Molyneux, Te Paea Hoori, Kellen Farmer, Calum Steele, Sophie Clark, Shanti Mathias

News Editor Sasha Beattie Sub Editor Sally Harper Volunteer Sub Editors Stephen Hughes Satvika Iyer Olivia Philip Distributor Danica Soich Chief News Reporter Angus Shaw Feature Writers Katie Meadows Kate Aschoff Satvika Iyer Paddy Miller Cavaan Wild Section Editors Conall Aird & George Bulleid (TV) Josh Ellery (Music) Alex Feinson (Books) Hannah Patterson (Podcast) Emma Maguire (Film) Jane Wallace (Arts) Tom Hall (Food) James Brown (Poetry) Emilie Hope (Theatre)

Contributors Lilli Street, Danica Soich, Marlon Drake, Regan Sword, Laura Toailoa, Gus Mitchell, Alexander Walker, Hannah Hawkins Elder, Erin Page, Paddy Miller, Amy Stimson, Ashley Parker, Anton Huggard, Nathan Hotter, Joanna Li, Nina Dyer, Tom White, Puck, Zoe Gillett FM Station Managers Kii Small & Jazz Kane TV Producers Elise Lanigan & Lauren Spring Social Media fb.com/salientmagazine T: @salientmagazine I: @salientgram S: salientmag

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