Speech | Issue 19

vol.77 issue.19

the speech issue

Are you angry, elated or apathetic about Salient? Send us a letter of less than 250 words to editor@salient.org.nz. Pseudonyms are fine, but all letters must include your real name, address and telephone number. These will not be printed. Letters will not be corrected for spelling or grammar. The Editors reserve the right to edit, abridge or decline any letters. The letter of the week wins a coffee from Vic Books.

Contents

Letters

policy press release as news these days?

Regards, Hon. Steven Joyce

WEEKLY CONTENT

LETTER OF THE WEEK

Yes, but don’t stop Dear Salient, Is it considered sad to still be writing to the university magazine five years after completing your degree? Asking for a friend.

Regards, Superior Mind

i feel like these are the topics humanity avoids. …this fantastic poem has been cut short for space, but you can see the full version online at www.salient.org.nz PAGE 14

10. Ill-Gotten Gains 12. TwitterViews 14. Intrusive Thoughts

COLUMNS

PAGE 8

8. Bone Zone with Cupie Hoodwink 8. Sports Banter 9. Ramblings of a Fallen Hack 17. Weird Internet Shit 17. Conspiracy Corner 17. Food 18. C B T 18. Maori Matters 19. Articulated Splines 19. Shirt & Sweet

ONLINE CONTENT salient.org.nz

Critical of Critic Yo Salient, Why must Critic be so critical of you? Are they really going to stoop so low as to leak your nude photo like some J-Law and then mock your Cam-paign? Fo’ shame, Critic. I hope the hole in the ozone layer over Dunedin melts you to a big hack-ish puddle.

Also, how do they not know who Rick Zwaan is? Guy’s the President for crying out loud.

Some star reporters they are.

Keep on keeping on, A Critic critic I am Salient I am Groot, I am Groot. I AM Groot. I am Groot. I am GROOT. I AAAAAAM GROOOOOOOOT! I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.

I am Groot, I am Groot, I am Groot I am Groot.

I am Groot, I am Groot.

You’ve got better spelling than us hillo consider this letter m m aplpication to edit slaiient in 2k15. i am a year 13 beginning my degree in law and anth and econ and mdia and design this summr (getting in eartlly!!) im dogni schol mdia and got a mreti for my first internall if you are wndring about qualificationsss. i also am planning on edintgn my schls yearbook. class of 2k22! stella mccarthy emaneuel I love you/You love me/We’re a happy family Dear Salient, I’m hangover-watching Barney right now and he said “we can look for shapes in the clouds” and there was a fucking exactly dinosaur shaped cloud. What’s this unrealistic shit. Where the fuck was this filmed? Is it a real place? Barney is creepy as fuck if you think about it re- wait hang on they’re singing “I Love You” g2g Not that you have one...

Dear Leftleanient, What’s the going rate for printing a tertiary

QUIZ 1. Which number Amendment to the US Constitution guarantees freedom of speech?

2. What do the books Dirty Little Sex Cartoons, Hitch-Hiking Pizza Boy and The Marijuana Chef Cookbook have in common?

3. What is the correct pronunciation of Dirty Politics author Nicky Hager’s surname?

4. The owner of which NBA basketball team was forced to give up ownership and fined $2.5 million earlier this year after making racist comments?

5. True or false: Galileo was burnt at the stake by the Inquisition in 1642 for arguing that the Earth revolved around the Sun, contradicting the official dogma of the Catholic Church.

6. What is the literal English translation of the words Baise-moi, the name of a controversial French film released in 2000?

7. Which libertarian political party, led by the outspoken Bob Jones, won 12.4 per cent of the vote in the 1984 New Zealand general election (but no seats)?

8. Nadezhda Tolokonnikova and Maria Alyokhina are better known as members of which organisation?

9. Which Kansas-based church is famous for holding anti-gay protests at the funerals of American soldiers?

10. Which English punk band describe the monarchy as “The fascist regime” and said that the Queen “ain’t no human being”?

New Zealand. 3. ‘Hah-ger’ (rhymes with ‘lager’) – not ‘Hay-

FEATURES

ger’. 4. The Los Angeles Clippers 5. False (He was put under

so i ask you, who are you? then i ask who am i? then who do you wish to be?

house arrest in 1633, and died nine years later from natural

the physical attraction we present. we are what we seem to be the outside is all others see

causes.) 6. ‘Fuck me’ 7. The New Zealand Party 8. Pussy Riot

4. News 18. VUWSA 20. Arts 22. Odds & Ends

Does it look like we are the cleaners?

Dear Ed Being a regular user of the computers in the Railway Station campus (levels 1-4) I have been increasingly aware of the fact that several of the chairs are damaged (eg missing wheels), stuffed, dirty key boards and slow computers, trash left behind and several of the work stations are damaged. In fact, last week I had the rather unfortunate experience of the key board and desk give way on me and land on the floor as I prepared to log in! Some of the screens have what I think maybe food or drink stuck to them. They are filty and as for germs - well who knows! Also the kiosk for topping up in the foyer of level 2 seems to be permanently buggered or engaged in strike action. We need to be able to top up our accounts! Quite frankly the place is a disgrace! People, clean up your rubbish and litter and drink bottles and can we get the chairs and desks repaired? And what about the stained carpet - but thats another story!

Kind regards Peaches and Cream

9. The Westboro Baptist Church 10. The Sex Pistols (in ‘God

PAGE 4

Save the Queen’)

the times of our lives our dictated by the people we know but more importantly we the character of the individual is the dictate of what those around us see the performance we put on,

1. The First Amendment 2. They are all officially banned in

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S A L I E N T

If the mainstream media had done their job, New Zealand would have known about its dirty politics years ago. Or maybe not.

One of the most upsetting and least discussed revelations to come out of this whole saga isn’t that we were being manipulated by grubby politicians. It’s that the media, the very people who are supposed to hold those in public office to account, knew full well what was happening the whole time.

There is a difference between what is reported and what a reporter knows.

According to Duncan Garner, the entire Press Gallery was well aware that some of the information they received was being leaked straight from Ministers. Instead of reporting on this fact, they played into the hands of the dirty politicians by printing the stories. It’s not just the politics in New Zealand that are dirty; it’s the media too.

In the latest leaked email dump, Cameron Slater (Whale Oil) said he ‘owns’ The New Zealand Herald. He was in daily contact with reporters. Information flowed both ways – whatever couldn’t be printed in the media was passed on to Slater to put on his blog. They were doing exactly the same thing that politicians were doing.

The Herald colluded with a gutter blogger instead of exposing the injustice that exists at the top echelon of our society.

And what have we heard from them? After being implicated, the Herald wrote a short and deliberately vague reply which was buried on their homepage soon after. Jared Savage, the lead investigative reporter for the nation’s daily, attempted an excuse.

He said it was “naive” of the New Zealand public to expect journalists to make sure

their sourcing and sharing of information is above board. We emailed the Herald to respond a bit more fully to these claims, but they never got back to us. They’re lucky that, unlike government, they don’t have accountability to the people: only to their readers.

The media knew what was happening for years, but went along for the ride. But maybe it’s not all their fault. The 24hour news cycle, shrinking newsrooms, increasing pressure to meet revenue and sales targets, and the never-ending barrage of news releases and information pressed onto our under-resourced journalists means there isn’t necessarily time to investigate every claim of alleged wrongdoing. And maybe people would rather read about a wine bottle than an

undermining of democracy.

This week’s issue is the Speech issue. We wanted to peer through the looking glass and see what the media is really like.

Feature writer Penny takes a look at what Hager’s book means for us as students.

We interviewed past Salient journos over Twitter to find out whether social media is revolutionising the news.

When the Minister of Justice messages a blogger to say “Oh dear. All this open government thingy”, we need the fourth estate to be strong. On the one hand, it’s depressing to think that we could have cleaned up the government years ago. On the other, these revelations can give us hope that the media won’t be fooled again.

And there’ll always be Salient.

Love, Duncan & Cam

S A L I E N T

E D I T O R @ S A L I E N T . O R G . N Z

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NEWS

BY THE NUMBERS

3 OUT OF 53, THE NUMBER OF POLICE OFFICERS IN FERGUSON WHO ARE BLACK. 67 PER CENT OF THE POPULATION OF FERGUSON IS BLACK.

RICKTORIOUS VUWSA ’15 EXEC ELECTED

by Emma Hurley

V

UWSA election results were announced on 22 August after weeks of chalk-filled walls, vandalised posters and flags in the Hub peaked with a high voter turnout.

Rick Zwaan gained a decisive win over Rāwinia Thompson in the Presidential race, with 2268 votes to her 1004. Zwaan was endorsed as a candidate by current president Sonya Clark.

3272 students voted to elect the 2015 VUWSA Executive, a higher turnout than 2013’s election when 2151 students voted.

This year, 16 candidates ran for 11 positions. This is a lower level of

RESULTS

participation than 2013, when 24 candidates ran for 12 positions.

Students noticed many positions were uncontested. Of the 11 available positions, six had only one candidate.

Students could either vote for the candidate or vote No Confidence.

2015’s Academic Vice-President will be Jonathan Gee, Welfare Vice-President will be Madeleine Ashton-Martyn and Engagement Vice-President will be Toby Cooper.

Cooper was elected over Ben Guerin by a close margin, with 1684 votes to Guerin’s 1587.

In another close result, Rory McNamara was elected Campaigns Officer with 25 votes over his competitor Theo Brown.

Next year’s Treasurer-Secretary will be Jacinta Gulasekharam, Education Officer

ENGAGEMENT VICEPRESIDENT TOBY COOPER 1684 BEN GUERIN 1587

will be Ellen Humphries and Equity Officer will be Chennoah Walford.

Wellbeing and Sustainability Officer will be Rory Lenihan-Ikin, and Publications Committee Representative will be Stella Blake-Kelly.

A second Publications Committee Representative will be elected at VUWSA’s AGM this year or next, as candidate Cameron Price was disqualified as he was not a current student.

Voters had less to decide on this year: in 2013, students voted on whether VUWSA should remain in the New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA) and whether funding of the VBC should continue.

Unfortunately, Mr No Confidence was once again unsuccessful, and Salient wishes the hopeful candidate better luck next year.

EDUCATION OFFICER

EQUITY OFFICER

JACINTA GULASEKHARAM 2987 NO CONFIDENCE 284

CHENNOAH WALFORD 2088 QUAN NGUYEN 1183

ACADEMIC VICEPRESIDENT

CAMPAIGNS OFFICER

WELLBEING AND SUSTAINABILITY OFFICER RORY LENIHAN-IKIN 2759 NO CONFIDENCE 512

WELFARE VICEPRESIDENT

CLUBS AND ACTIVITIES OFFICER

PUBLICATIONS COMMITTEE

MADELEINE ASHTON-MARTYN 2857 NO CONFIDENCE 414

RORY MCNAMARA 1648 THEO BROWN 1623

STELLA BLAKE-KELLY 2736 NO CONFIDENCE 533

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THE PRINT RUN OF THE DOMINION POST.

$22,453 THE AMOUNT FACEBOOK LOSES EVERY MINUTE IT IS DOWN INTERNATIONALLY.

1 BILLION TWEETS SENT EVERY TWO DAYS.

HOW MUCH MORE SUNSHINE NELSON GETS THAN WELLINGTON EVERY YEAR.

PEOPLE OF LAST WEEK

TREASURER-SECRETARY

4

98,000

ELLEN HUMPHRIES 2865 NO CONFIDENCE 406

RICK ZWAAN 2268 RAWINIA THOMPSON 1004

JONATHAN GEE 2990 NO CONFIDENCE 281

THE FRACTION OF DIVORCE FILINGS IN THE UK THAT INCLUDED THE WORD FACEBOOK.

350 HOURS

PRESIDENT

NATHANIEL MANNING 2246 IBRAHIM SALIH 1023

1/3

Last week, tragedy struck the small South Island community of Ashburton, as three female employees of Work and Income NZ were shot, allegedly by John Tully. Peggy Noble and Leigh Cleveland died, and Lindy Curtis suffered serious injuries. Tully was apprehended some time after the shooting and has been charged with two counts of murder and one of attempted murder. Events like these really put other news in perspective.

S A L I E N T

VICTORIA APPOINTS PROVOST

KILL THE PM?

WHAT EVEN IS THAT?

UPROAR OVER @PEACE SONG RENDERS SITUATION CRITIC-AL

by Simon Dennis

by Alice Peacock

P

T

rofessor Neil Quigley, recent Deputy Vice-Chancellor (Research) at Victoria University, has been appointed as New Zealand’s first Provost.

The role of Provost is to oversee Victoria’s teaching and research programmes, as well as make sure they are meeting the high standards set by the University.

A Provost also ensures the relevance of research programmes in the domestic and international communities. Provosts have been used increasingly in top universities around the world.

Victoria’s Vice-Chancellor, Professor Grant Guilford, said “appointing someone of Professor Quigley’s calibre to this highprofile role is a key step in achieving our vision of being a leading capital-city university.”

Professor Quigley has been a senior leader at Victoria University for the past 17 years, and will take up the role of Provost from 1 October.

Professor Guilford went on to explain other senior leadership changes at Victoria.

“A Deputy Vice-Chancellor (Māori) role has been created. This is the most senior Māori role in any university and recognises the importance to Victoria of the Treaty of Waitangi and our partnership with tangata whenua.”

“We have also appointed New Zealand’s first Assistant Vice-Chancellor (Sustainability), underscoring the importance of sustainability to New Zealand’s future. This role will be responsible for leading a University-wide programme on sustainability.”

Professor Guilford concluded that the appointment of a Provost “is the first of a number of strategic leadership appointments at Victoria that signal a change in the way the University operates.”

he University of Otago’s student magazine has accused Kiwiblog of a hate campaign after criticism of the OUSA President’s support for ‘Kill the PM’.

Auckland-based hip-hop group @peace released their latest track ‘Kill the PM’ on 26 August, in time for the upcoming 20 September elections.

The tune does not beat around the bush expressing the group’s feelings towards John Key. “I’m going to kill the Prime Minister, because we are down and suffering and the motherfucker ain’t doing nothing.”

“I been tryin’ to get a job but they got none, so I instead I got a sawn-off shotgun, and ‘pop’.”

It continues to outline exactly how @ peace would like to express these feelings through Key’s daughter.

“One of these days I’m going to fuck your daughter. This poor boy going to make his seed, all the way up in your girl,

well hello Miss Key.” Amid the flurry of media attention which followed, a Facebook post by @ peace several hours after the song’s release said the move was an attempt to seize the attention of youth not yet enrolled to vote. @peace said they wanted to remind the public that “130,000 ELIGIBLE PEOPLE UNDER 25 HAVE NOT YET ENROLLED”.

In her column in last week’s Critic, OUSA President Ruby Sycamore-Smith called @peace artist Tom Scott “super cheeky”, and said the song was “naughty, but I think the amount of media coverage and the huge slur around this is unnecessary. What about our rights as citizens to speak our own opinions?”

This sparked criticism from Kiwiblog’s David Farrar, who said University of Otago students “might want to reflect on the fact their student president thinks a song expressing a desire to kill the Prime

Minister and implicitly rape his daughter is just a bit naughty, and that criticism of the song is a slur, and that there is a right to express an opinion that you want to implicitly rape someone to piss off their father.”

Critic Editor Zane Pocock hit back, saying Farrar had “launched an attack campaign.” Pocock told Salient that, “As Editor of Critic, I support freedom of speech and defend both @peace’s right to produce their song and the OUSA President’s right to voice her opinion in her Critic column”.

“I will be responding in full to the song and to Farrar’s behaviour and allegations in my editorial next week.”

Salient understands that Pocock and Sycamore-Smith are dating, and that Pocock had taken a step back from covering OUSA news because of the conflict of interest this creates.

COOL ELECTION SHIT WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT VOTING? SALIENT HAS YOU COVERED. IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHO TO VOTE FOR… VOTE COMPASS Vote Compass is an interactive quiz which gets you to answer questions on various political issues and compares your answers with the policy positions of parties, then displays your position on a grid, showing where you stand in the overall political landscape. You can find it at http://tvnz. co.nz/votecompass IF YOU WANT TO ASK POLITICIANS A QUESTION… ASK AWAY Ask Away is an online forum for asking politicians questions and comparing their answers. Get in on the action at https:// nzelection.askaway.org.nz/ IF YOU WANT TO HEAR A DEBATE AT UNI… THE GREAT POLITICAL DEBATE At 1 pm on Tuesday 16 September, Wallace Chapman of Back Benches fame will be hosting a political debate in the Hub. Representatives from National, Labour, the Greens and NZ First will speak at the debate.

ARO VALLEY MEET THE CANDIDATES EVENING A notorious good time, this is tonight if you’re reading this on Monday 8 September (otherwise, sorry!) Turn up to the Aro Valley Community Hall at 7.30 pm to hear MPs from Labour, the Greens, Internet Mana, National, NZ First, Aotearoa Legalise Cannabis and the Conservative Party battle it out.

IF YOU WANT TO READ ABOUT POLITICAL ISSUES FOR YOUNG PEOPLE… OURS Ours, created by ex-Salient editors and current Vic students Ollie Neas and Asher Emanuel, is a website full of content about and relevant to young people. Ours is online at ours.co.nz, and was published in The NZ Herald every Wednesday for the past four weeks.

IF YOU WANT TO VOTE BEFORE ELECTION DAY… You can! You could vote as of last Wednesday.

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU CAN VOTE… FIND MY ELECTORATE If you want to find a polling booth to vote at on or before election day, ‘Find My Electorate’ is an online map which will help you do that. Find it at http://www. elections.org.nz/voters/find-my-electorate IF YOU WANT TO VOTE ON CAMPUS… You can! As of Monday the 8th (today!), there are advanced polling booths around Kelburn Campus. Get amongst it.

IF YOU WANT TO HEAR THE WELLINGTON CENTRAL CANDIDATES DEBATE…

S A L I E N T

E D I T O R @ S A L I E N T . O R G . N Z

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iPredict or iPromote?

by Sophie Boot With the revelations from Nicky Hager’s Dirty Politics still fresh, rogue hacker Whaledump releasing new information constantly and the departure, albeit reluctant, of Minister of Justice Judith Collins, New Zealand politics has never been this gritty. Salient investigates how Victoria’s online prediction market, iPredict, has been linked to all this dirty politics.

D

irty Politics twice named iPredict as a way for Cameron Slater (Whale Oil) to promote local MP candidates who were paying him. In the first instance, Hager says that Slater and Simon Lusk, a National Party strategist, manipulated iPredict by purchasing stocks on one of the five candidates competing to be the National candidate in Rodney. Once he had driven up the iPredict stock prices for that candidate, Slater posted about the price changes on his blog without saying he had been the one creating those changes. Slater and Lusk did this, so Hager says, in the context of running a smear campaign on candidates other than Mark Mitchell, the candidate who was paying them.

Mark Mitchell won, and is now the National MP for Rodney.

In the second instance, Hager says Slater and Jordan Williams, a lawyer and head of the Taxpayers’ Union, discussed manipulating iPredict stocks on who had leaked an email about ACC whistleblower Bronwyn Pullar. Williams said he had shorted Simon Lusk to bring down iPredict’s stake on Lusk being the leaker. iPredict was also mentioned in the email released

by John Key as the reason behind Judith Collins resigning. The email was sent by Slater to Carrick Graham and two other recipients, one of whom is possibly disgraced Hanover Finance’s former managing director Mark Hotchin. It ends with Slater saying: “I have also arranged with Matthew Hooton for iPredict… to have a new stock released so people can invest on [sic] the probability of Adam Feeley getting the sack before Christmas or leaving. These stocks…”

This is as much of the email as Key’s office has released. The wider email discusses Collins’ involvement in an attack campaign against Adam Feeley, ex-CEO of the Serious Fraud Office. The SFO was, at the time, investigating Hotchin for the 2008 failure of Hanover Finance, which lost around $500 million.

This email was sent on 5 May 2011. The

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discussions between Slater and Lusk occurred on 1 March 2011. Williams and Slater Facebookchatted on 28 March 2012. At the time that this was going on, Matthew Hooton’s PR firm Exceltium was in control of iPredict, though it was owned by the University. During 2012, Victoria University regained control of iPredict.

The organisation has made significant changes to the way it operates since the University took back over. When Exceltium was running the show, it placed large market makers – algorithms which generate a set of trades on behalf of iPredict – on many stocks. Robert Quigley-McBride, who has worked at iPredict since the University resumed control, says it was doing that to increase liquidity in the market and thus increase interest in iPredict: this has now changed, because iPredict was losing a lot of money through the market makers.

Hooton’s only current involvement is through Exceltium providing free PR to iPredict through a weekly snapshot of political trends. QuigleyMcBride says it would be theoretically possible for someone to present a biased view by trading right before the snapshot is taken, but the snapshot is taken at a random time of the day so traders have less ability to influence it (though that time is chosen by Exceltium). He also says it would be obvious if someone was attempting to influence the snapshot – “all you would need to do is look at what he was reporting and see that it wasn’t the same as what was happening at the time.”

While allegations of insider trading are nothing new to iPredict – indeed, it is well known that the market is used by political insiders, and iPredict encourages this – the Hager revelations have raised new questions about how easy it is to manipulate the service. Share-trading forums and iPredict’s own forums have been abuzz, and iPredict has issued several statements in response.

Matthew Hooton also fronted on Q+A in the wake of Collins’ resignation.

Quigley-McBride says that there has been confusion over insider trading, and what iPredict allows. “When we’re saying insider trading, we’re saying people with better information than is publicly available. They bring that to the market and they let everyone know that information by trading on iPredict. That’s insider trading in the sense that it improves our accuracy, and we like that. [The allegations in Dirty Politics] is attempted manipulation by insiders. People are calling it insider trading, and people have said iPredict allows insider trading, but they’re two different things.”

MATTHEW HOOTON, MANAGING DIRECTOR OF EXCELTIUM

“The difference between a trader who wants to intentionally create a false prediction on that stock and a trader who’s just really partisan and really believes that stock is wrong when it’s correct is very small... Both of them just bring more money in for correct traders.”

On the subject of Slater’s stock-buying in favour of Mark Mitchell, Quigley-McBride says it’s hard to define as manipulation because the market agreed with Slater. “I went back and had a look... the person who did trade before his blog post was trading on the favourite candidate. It’s not even clear that that was successful manipulation.”

Further concerns were raised after Collins’ resignation by the email John Key released, where Slater said he had asked Hooton to run a stock on whether Feeley would be fired. Both Hooton and Quigley-McBride have said this is not unusual – iPredict often crowd-sources its contracts, because “there’s no point in making a contract no one’s going to trade. The only way to know traders will trade it is if traders come to you and say: ‘We like this stock, can we have it?’

The primary source for our stocks is our traders.”

NOTORIOUS MISOGYNIST ABOUT TOWN, JORDAN WILLIAMS

WHALE OIL BLOGGER CAMERON SLATER, PICTURED IN 2011

The final decision, Quigley-McBride says, rests with iPredict. “We have to make a decision about whether or not it’s worth running. We’re going to have to put a market maker on it, which costs us money. To make it worthwhile, it needs to generate a useful prediction.”

Geoff Todd, Managing Director of Viclink, of which iPredict is a subsidiary, says the University is “confident that iPredict is run strictly within [Financial Markets Authority] regulations and is also confident that iPredict does not lend itself to manipulation.” iPredict says much of the criticism of the company is because people don’t understand what it does.

LAW postgraduate study

InformAtIon

evenIng Tuesday 16 September 2014, 6pm

NATIONAL PARTY ‘FIXER’, SIMON LUSK

The University of Auckland offers a high calibre of teaching and research supervision experience.

In 2015 we are excited to welcome 13 renowned international experts to teach a range of courses for our postgraduate programmes.

Find out more by meeting members of the Faculty at our information evening on 16 September at the Auckland Law School.

StAff Common room LeveL 4, 9 eden CreSCent

AuCkLAnd CItY

for more information and to register visit: www.law.auckland.ac.nz/ information-evening

iPredict is aware that people have tried to manipulate stocks, but say this increases the accuracy of the service as it increases liquidity – or the amount of money – in the market.

S A L I E N T

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS YOUR GUIDE TO UNIVERSITY FEE CHANGES On Monday 15 September at 2 pm in the Hunter Building’s Council Chambers, a group of people will decide how much Victoria University’s fees rise next year. Anyone can go along if they like, but if the audience is too disruptive, the meeting will be moved to a closed-door hearing.

WHO SETS YOUR FEES? THE UNIVERSITY COUNCIL, MADE UP OF:

4 Ministry of Education appointees

WITHOUT FAIL, FEES RISE EVERY YEAR. GENERAL TREND IN FEES

1 Vice-Chancellor

FEES

WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT FEES SO FAR?

YEARS

3 Academic staff 2 Students

BUT, SINCE THE 1990S, THE MAXIMUM THEY CAN INCREASE IS 4% PER YEAR.

1 General staff 2 Union representitives 4 Court of Convocation alumni

FEE MAXIMA

3 Co-opted members

4%

“REGRETTABLY, QUALITY ALWAYS COMES WITH A COST, AND THE CHALLENGE IS MEETING THAT COST.” — Chancellor Ian McKinnon “IF I END UP DRIVING THE UNIVERSITY INTO A FINANCIALLY UNSUSTAINABLE POSITION BECAUSE I FEEL EMPATHY FOR THE POSITION THAT THE STUDENTS ARE IN… THEN IN THE END, I AM SHORTCHANGING PEOPLE’S FUTURES AS WELL. IT’S ABOUT FINDING THIS BALANCING ACT.” — Vice-Chancellor Grant Guilford “EVERY YEAR, THE FEES GO UP WITHOUT QUESTION; EVERY YEAR, STUDENTS GET FRUSTRATED AT WHAT IS AN INCREASE IN COST WITHOUT THE QUALITY TO MATCH.” — Sonya Clark, VUWSA President

THIS MEANS THAT UNIVERSITIES WHO WERE CHARGING LESS WHEN THE MAXIMA WAS INTRODUCED AREN’T ABLE TO CATCH UP. HOW CHEAP IS IT TO STUDY AT VICTORIA COMPARED TO OTHER NZ UNIVERSITIES?

HUMANITIES & SOCIAL SCIENCE

AUCKLAND 5,177

AUT 5,175

WAIKATO 5,174

CANTERBURY 5,152

MASSEY 5,039

OTAGO 4,998

EDUCATION

AUCKLAND 5,177

WAIKATO 5,174

CANTERBURY 5,152

OTAGO 4,772

VICTORIA 4,716

MASSEY 4,647

COMMERCE

AUCKLAND 5,576

WAIKATO 5,575

AUT 5,567

VICTORIA 5,550

CANTERBURY 5,453

MASSEY 5,039

LAW

AUCKLAND 5,576

WAIKATO 5,575

OTAGO 5,575

AUT 5,567

VICTORIA 5,550

CANTERBURY 5,453

SCIENCE

CANTERBURY 5,973

OTAGO 5,973

WAIKATO 5,972

AUCKLAND 5,971

VICTORIA 5,958

MASSEY 5,722

AUT 5,567

IT/ COMPUTING

WAIKATO 5,976

OTAGO 5,973

AUCKLAND 5,971

MASSEY 5,970

VICTORIA 5,892

CANTERBURY 5,755

AUT 5,567

ENGINEERING

VICTORIA 6,906

AUCKLAND 6,905

CANTERBURY 6,466

WAIKATO 6,416

MASSEY 6,223

DESIGN

OTAGO 5,973

AUCKLAND 5,971

MASSEY 5,722

VICTORIA 5,892

AUT 5,567

ARCHITECTURE

AUCKLAND 6,905

VICTORIA 6,558

KEY:

SO HOW MUCH WILL FEES RISE

BY THIS YEAR? ALL THE OTHER MAJOR UNIVERSITIES HAVE ALREADY COMMITTED TO A 4% INCREASE, AND IT SEEMS VIC WILL FOLLOW SUIT.

FEES ONLY MAKE UP A SMALL PORTION OF TOTAL UNIVERSITY FUNDING. THE REST COMES FROM A VARIETY OF SOURCES. WHERE THE UNIVERSITY GETS ITS FUNDS S A L I E N T

Government funding

22% 46%

9%

Domestic tutiton fees Internation tuition fees

23%

Other (research, support, commercial)

PUSHING IT TO THE LIMIT • • • • •

AUT CANTERBURY MASSEY OTAGO WAIKATO

VICTORIA 4,716

OTAGO 4,772

“THE DECISIONS MADE IN FEE-SETTING MEETINGS CAN BE TRACED BACK TO THOSE MADE BY THE GOVERNMENT IN THE BUDGET.” — David Alsop, Student Representative on Council

AT 4.30 PM ON TUESDAY 9 SEPTEMBER, IN STUDENT UNION BUILDING ROOMS 217–218, A STUDENT FEES FORUM IS BEING HELD WHERE STUDENTS WILL HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO VOICE THEIR VIEWS AND QUESTION THOSE WHO WILL BE MAKING THE DECISION TO INCREASE FEES.

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Sports Banter Canterbury May As Well Take the Trophy Now

by Ollie Ritchie

ven as a die-hard Canterbury fan, I can certainly sympathise with all you other footy fans out there.

So far in the ITM Cup (three rounds in at

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Top 5 ITM Cup Heroes 5. Jimmy Cowan – I know he’s only just come back, but what a lord, JC! World Cup winner, made his coin overseas,and now he’s back to help out the great Tasman side. I love that about this competition. When’s Carl Hayman coming back to Otago?

the time of writing), no one has even come within a whisker of Canterbury as they march towards their seventh-straight title.

But one thing that rugby fans can be relieved about is that Counties Manukau lost the beloved Ranfurly Shield last weekend to Hawke’s Bay (who will hopefully hold it for longer than six days this time). This means that Canterbury may go without a challenge this year, and that can only be seen as a very good thing for rugby.

Don’t get me wrong: I would love to see the Log o’ Wood back in the trophy cabinet at AMI Stadium in Christchurch (God knows where we’d fit it). But for the state of provincial rugby in this country, I think it’s best if the Shield stays out of the hands of Canterbury.

As I’ve already alluded to, no one has come close to even putting a little bit of pressure on Canterbury so far. Give them the Ranfurly Shield and you can pretty much write every other team off for the rest

of the year. The Log o’ Wood would remain in the Garden City for the next ten years, hands down, and everyone would forget the Shield even existed until Marty Banks’ lads at Tasman tipped us up to take the Shield north. You could make a movie out of this column.

However, with all that being said, the state of rugby in this country is looking bloody good. Forget this piss-poor crowds that are showing up (NZRU: move the games to smaller stadiums, you tools): the ITM Cup is producing some superb talent and is paving the way for young players, and even some older ones, to earn themselves a Super Rugby contract.

No longer do the likes of Canterbury, Wellington and Otago need to poach players with the incentive of making that city’s Super franchise. It has meant a better competition and, with the exception of Canterbury, a more even one.

The gap between the teams in the Premiership and Championship seems to

4. Jason Woodward – Everyone thinks he’s a douche. I used to as well, and then I had the pleasure of interviewing him a couple of weeks ago. What a hero. Genuinely nice guy, who loves being able to pull on that Wellington Lions jersey. Too bad they won’t win a game this year, but still. Hero.

Canterbury this year, this man epitomises leading by example. Hero.

3. Willie Heinz – I know the man rips up at Super Rugby level too (black jersey, anyone?), but this guy is a lord when it comes to ITM Cup. Given the captaincy duties for

How do you correctly give a hand job?

The Bone Zone With Cupie Hoodwink hanks to bullshit labels like ‘Cradle Snatcher’, ‘Gold Digger’ and ‘Cougar’, we’re taught to be suspicious of loving relationships between consenting adults who happen to be born more than five or so years apart. Although it’s really shit that that’s the case, it’s important for you to remember that when you first introduce your partner to your loved ones.

That is, if they aren’t over the moon about your new union, it’s more likely to be borne of misguided concern than malice. To that end, it may help to talk to your friends and family about your new situation and allay their concerns before you introduce them, ensuring that they’ve got some time to come to terms with it first. When you do introduce them, try to do so in an environment where you all have something in common – perhaps at a gig, movie, or a restaurant or bar you all like – so that the differences between your friends and your partner aren’t the focus.

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You got this, Cupie xx 8

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The humble hand job threw me for many years. How does one ever hope to master a sex move that most men have years of practice doing, and know exactly how they like it done? I was so confused when it came to choking the chicken that I’d often abandon ship after a few token tugs and move straight into a blow job. After all, unless you’re doing it with Marilyn Manson, that’s something they can’t do for themselves. With a bit of practice, however, you can improve your handywork in no time at all. Expanding your foreplay repertoire in this way allows you to spend even more time getting your partner worked up before you seal the deal. And remember, just because he can – and does – do it for himself, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you to take a load off now and then.

Just like a healthy heart, a great hand job is all about a steady rhythm. To this end, you’ll want to start off a little slower and build up speed over time in order to preserve the muscles in your wrist to last the duration of the hand job, but making sure the rhythm remains steady each time you pick up the pace a little. Make sure the groundwork is done before you begin by getting him hard with some pashing, slowly working your hand towards the D with some gentle tickling or stroking thrown in for good measure.

Once you’re ready to begin squirting the turtle, wrap your hand around the shaft just below

2. Patrick Osborne – The beast who tears apart opposition backlines, the man’s ability to perform at ITM Cup level is unquestionable. I mean, I know he’s had some handy cameos in Super Rugby as well, but give the man an ITM Cup backline and

the head, and start to work your hand up and down. The key here is your thumb and forefinger, which you’ll want to use to apply more pressure than the rest of your hand. If he’s uncircumcised, use this ring of pressure to keep a firm grip on the foreskin, which must remain between your hand and the peen the whole time. In no circumstances at all should you let your hand touch a bare peen, especially at the head – this is really uncomfortable for uncircumcised dudes and is the fastest way to get yourself fired from your hand job. Even if there’s no foreskin, this ring of pressure is still going to be important – test out varying degrees of pressure as you rub it up and down over the glans (the bumpy bit between the shaft and the head). Twisting your hand around the shaft as you move up and down, while still applying pressure between your thumb and forefinger, is a great way to increase excitement without having to increase speed.

Just like prime real estate, a great hand job is all about location, location, location.

Make sure you’re in a comfortable position that allows you free and easy access with your writing hand. You may find that straddling your partner, so that the peen juts out just between your legs is easiest.

This is, after all, the angle they wank from, so is likely to give your hand job the most authentic feel.

Finally, pay attention to the details. Just like a winning dish on Masterchef, a great hand job is all about the seasoning. Think about extras you can add that he might normally overlook while jerking off, which will set your wristie apart from a garden-variety wank. When you seem to be nearing the finish line, head for the erogenous zones with your other hand

be getting smaller. Northland have already tipped Wellington over, and Tasman should’ve fancied their chances against an average-looking Auckland outfit last weekend (these draws are really butchering my virtual rugby points).

So now, instead of complaining about crowd sizes, complaining about how dominant Canterbury are – did I mention we’re gunning for our seventh-straight title? – and forgetting the fact that Hawke’s Bay will lose the Shield to Otago in a couple of weeks (you heard that here first), let’s just enjoy the footy. Enjoy the quality players we have on show, enjoy the smaller franchises tipping up the bigger ones, and EVERYBODY enjoy watching my man Willie Heinz hoist that trophy at the end of the year.

I may have just jinxed them. Enjoy your ITM Cup. Go the red’n’blacks!

he will go straight through them.

1. Marty Banks – The man, the myth, the legend that is Tasman’s Marty Banks. Who doesn’t love this guy? Turned heads in his first season of ITM Cup last year, earned himself a Super Rugby contract with the Hurricanes, and in 2014 averages over 20 points a game. Absolute hero.

– rub his nipples, cup/stroke his balls, or apply pressure to the base of the penis, and your spunk will be spunkin’ in seconds flat.

Here’s to a job well done, Cupie xx

Tip of the Week: Just before the break, I sullied the pages of Salient’s Food issue by writing at length about a different kind of eating out. Despite the fact that it can be a great way to get each other off, a lot of people feel uncomfortable or grossed out when it comes to giving and receiving head. If you’re feeling a bit down about going down, there are a few ways to ease yourself into it. First and foremost, it’s really important to try as best you can to get rid of the notion that there’s something repulsive about your genitalia. So long as you’re reasonably clean and healthy, there shouldn’t be anything untoward about how you taste and smell. If you’re still self-conscious, why not try it in the shower? If your shower’s particularly small or awkwardly shaped, so no amount of aqua gymnastics will allow you to get the angles right, other options include smothering a flavoured lube all over the situation, or using novelty-flavour condoms/dental dams. Finally, while your pubic ’do should be as much a personal choice as how you style the hair on your head, keeping your hidden garden well groomed (trimming or waxing, never shaving) will allow for ease of access, reduces the incidence of wayward Pube-in-Mouth, and can feel better, too, as you don’t have an abrasive pube barrier all up in there.

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emails an expression of the right to free speech, or an attempt to take that right from others? It was a fun question to poke, but not one that ever gave much of an answer.

By Jade D’Hack TW: Contains discussion of media reaction to sexual assault The Dirty Politics were no surprise. Aw sure, we were outraged, and as we went about demanding resignations we felt our due moral vindication. But the deepest revelation was that Whale Oil and his National Party friends had corrupted the moral heart of our politics, and we’d known that one for a while. And so we wandered back into intellectual speculation. Was publishing hacked

NOW STOCKING

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Free speech sounds like a wonderful idea, but its problem is its impossibility. To give someone free speech is to let them silence someone else. If free speech can exist, it is as a thing to be engineered, an environment to be constructed. If free speech can exist, we have to choose to be quiet.

Last year, shortly after the Roast Buster rape cases were made public, John Tamihere and Willie Jackson were hosting their talkback radio show. A friend of the Roast Busters’ victims telephoned in.

gunning for Feeley.” — Blogger Cameron Slater, known for the Whale Oil blog, in the leaked email which forced Collins to resign.

Perhaps it was a victory for a free media, self-regulation in the marketplace of ideas.

But it was a victory won by corporate power silencing dissent. Of course there were those who snarked “free speech doesn’t mean you get a free radio show” and “those attacking the show have free speech too”, and I guess they were right.

But they also missed the point. We value free speech because we value being heard.

People don’t hear you when your show has been cancelled.

days until the election as of Monday.

Free speech is an artificial idea. That’s fine, but it means we can’t find it any deep solution. Of course the rights of those leaked are in conflict with those of the leakers. Our only real solution is to pick a side. Luckily, we find that pretty easy.

Free speech is deciding who chooses to be silent. That becomes tricky when we’re out of volunteers.

Political Tidbits

Quote of the week: “I also spoke at length with the Minister responsible today (Judith Collins). She is

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Polls Dirty Politics is losing National votes but Labour can’t find them. They’re flowing to NZ First (now consistently over six per cent) and the Conservatives (getting close to that five per cent threshold). On current polling, National would win but would need NZ First to govern. Internet Mana and the Māori Party are both making gradual progress upwards.

Top five Government attacks on the media 5) Police raiding Radio NZ prior to the 2011 election, to recover the Teapot Tapes.

4) “Left-wing conspiracy theorist” — John Key describing journalist Nicky Hager.

None of Hager’s claims have been refuted.

3) Parliamentary Services providing the phone records of Press Gallery reporter Andrea Vance to a government inquiry.

2) American spies snooping on Kiwi journalist Jon Stephenson in Afghanistan, to identify his sources.

1) The Chinese Government restricting Salient contributors from receiving tourist visas in response to a 2008 cover featuring then-leader Hu Jintao’s face photoshopped onto a naked contributor’s body.

THE WORLD’S FINEST

Ramblings of a Fallen Hack

Two months ago, Whale Oil published a blog attacking the victim of a sexual assault. A Malaysian official accused of assaulting the young Wellingtonian had claimed diplomatic immunity and been allowed to flee New Zealand.

This embarrassed the Government, and so their friend Whale Oil published conspiracy theories about the victim’s political motivation, demanding to crossexamine the victim about the details of her assault. The blog was part political manoeuvre, but it had a deeper purpose too. In forcing retribution, it threatened anyone who might shame Whale Oil’s friends in the future. Like much political speech, the blog post’s goal was to silence.

Tamihere and Jackson chose to berate the young woman, accusing her friends of inviting the attacks. We were outraged, we asked businesses to pull their advertising from the show. Many did. The show was cancelled.

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I L L - G O T T E N

Feature writer Penny Gault investigates what the revelations in Nicky Hager’s Dirty Politics mean for the average student.

GAME TACTICS As students, it’s easy to feel as though politics has nothing to do with us. It doesn’t matter who’s in power because, at the end of the day, it’s unlikely our flats are going to get much warmer or more affordable, or our Student Loans any smaller, any time soon.

What’s more, it’s difficult to discern what the various parties’ policies even are. In an interview with Salient, Dirty Politics author Nicky Hager said disillusionment with national politics is a rational reaction to the contemporary climate – “If politicians look like they’re just bickering amongst themselves and attacking each other [with] silly little mini-scandals that seem to come from nowhere, any rational person thinks, ‘Well, what’s this got to do with me?’”

Although political scandal may be entertaining (let’s face it; politicians are as close as we get to real celebrities in New Zealand), the constant distraction and detraction from real policy issues is a real problem for those of us only just old enough to vote for the first, or perhaps second, time.

Hager described the political climate of the past six years as “an extreme period”, with “more personal attacks, more manufactured scandals, more manufactured politics than is normal, and less policy.”

Duncan Garner, however, claims this is not remotely revolutionary – “shadowy attack-politics is not new and not the sole domain of National.” In his Dominion Post opinion piece, ‘Politics is a sleazy business – regardless of who is in power’, Garner alleges Helen Clark was the “biggest gossip of them all”, swirling allegations about her Minister of Māori Affairs Dover Samuels having sex with someone under the age of consent, which eventually led to his removal from office.

Hager claims voter disengagement is a result of “deliberate tactics, which discourage people from participating in politics”. Hager here refers to participation in two ways.

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While at one level there are tactical plays designed to remove specific individuals from politics, on another, the appearance of sleazy scandals leads voters, especially young people who haven’t witnessed politics operating any other way, to lose interest.

University students are more likely to vote for the Green Party, and perhaps now Internet Mana, than the National Party, for example. It suits National Party interests, in this instance, to have the youngest members of the voting public feeling disengaged from politics – it’s better for them that students don’t vote at all, than vote against them.

Whether the result of tactical planning or not, it’s difficult to see the point of bothering with voting and politics when, as Dirty Politics demonstrates, so much of what we’re told by news media has been manufactured and manipulated behind the scenes.

Dirty Politics revealsWhale Oil blogger Cameron Slater as a central figure in the National Party’s spin machine. Held not to be a journalist in a 2013 District Court decision, Slater is unconstrained by “professional codes of practice which import standards such as accuracy [and] balance” that journalists sign up to, says privacy-law specialist, Dr Nicole Moreham.

While Judith Collins urged Slater to hang a public servant out to dry (resulting in the public servant receiving death threats), Key was being photographed with Labrador puppies. As Slater pressured Rodney Hide to resign as leader of the ACT Party with threats to publish texts allegedly sent by Hide to a younger woman, Key was taking selfies.

This is symptomatic of the National Party’s two-track approach: Key maintains his Mr Nice Guy persona from a safe distance while, as Hager puts it inDirty Politics, “relying on other people for a continuous barrage of attacks and negative campaigning.” Stories published on Whale Oil were then picked up and rehashed in mainstream news media, unaware of their origins.

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Whether the result of tactical planning or not, it’s difficult to see the point of bothering with voting and politics when, as Dirty Politics demonstrates, so much of what we’re told by news media has been manufactured and manipulated behind the scenes.

Moreham observes “a robust media is ... recognised as a fundamental part of democracy: courts often call the media the public’s ‘watchdog’ and it is vital that they can perform that function effectively.”

But how effectively can the media act as a watchdog when the infrastructure of our information systems rests on such shaky foundations – when our ‘news’ is often the fruit of less-than-salubrious investigation, fabrication, manipulation or leaking?

WHO KNOWS WHAT TO BELIEVE? The emails and online conversations that form the basis of Dirty Politics, which Hager received (from an anonymous source), were admittedly acquired by an unlawful act.

Following the Whale Oil site’s crash after outrage at an especially nasty post published

by Slater one night in January, Whale Oil was hacked, and emails and online conversations obtained.

Jane Clifton’s recent article ‘Dirty Rotten Politics’, published in The Listener, suggests that both Slater and Hager have made “equivalent transgressions” by publishing private information and not giving their subjects a right of reply. Somehow, Hager’s book has come to be treated in mainstream news media as equivalent to the unlawful act committed by Slater and John Key’s senior adviser, Jason Ede, who accessed private information, including lists of donors and supporters, from the Labour Party website.

used the analogy of the All Blacks looking at the Wallabies’ starting lineup before a big game, if it was published unprotected on a website. But just because something might be standard practice, as Key suggests, doesn’t mean it’s any more legal. As lawyer Felix Geiringer observed, “If somebody leaves their door open and you walk in and take all their family silver you are guilty of a crime. And it’s the same with computer crime.” Slater and Ede lacked authority to access the data, and they knew they lacked such authority.

Geiringer adds, “The suggestion that Mr Ede or Mr Slater thought, when they were rifling through this private information, that mistakenly, they did have authority to do so, is frankly risible.”

Moreham explains: “the law draws a distinction between the acquisition of information and its disclosure. It might be wrongful to obtain information but legitimate for a third party who obtains it to use it. That depends on the public interest in the information.” Investigative journalism, as conducted by Hager in Dirty Politics, is “all about telling stories that people don’t want told. The law recognises that and, at least to some extent, protects journalists’ rights to work in the public interest.”

Frequently, access to important information about the functioning of our democracy is shrouded in secrecy or restricted by denial and employment contracts. Hager says that sometimes, “leaking is a necessary safeguard against impenetrable actions of power.”

Moreham sas “there is clearly a difference between using personal information to expose wrongdoing and using information to engage in wrongdoing.” It’s all about balancing freedom of expression against personal privacy interests. In Dirty Politics, Moreham sees the balance tipped in favour of freedom of expression.

In other words, Hager’s actions are justified as he published Dirty Politics in the public interest. Hager is aware of the heavy burden of relying on the public good as a defence to publishing private information that was acquired by hacking – “it means that I’m in the position of making those judgments, but someone’s got to do it.” Unlike Slater, who published innocent people’s private information, purely in order to embarrass the Labour Party, Hager was “ultrascrupulous” about protecting the privacy of those who did not need to be held publicly accountable for their actions.

SO NOW WHAT? Since taking leadership, there’s been little, if any, real coverage of Key’s politics, or his direction for New Zealand other than towards a “brighter future” – whatever that means. It’s far more difficult to imagine an instance of Key declaring policy than it is one of him holding a baby.

treatment of the contents of his book, “particularly impressed that John Key has been questioned much harder, in quite a different way to what we normally get.”

And he’s not wrong. As Labour’s Grant Robertson stated, “John Key no longer gets it – Kiwis want answers: they are sick of his pathetic claims of left-wing conspiracies and constant attempts to dodge the question.”

In a Radio New Zealand interview with Guyon Espiner on 18 August, Key’s diversion tactics and Nice Guy persona were put under pressure. Espiner asked Key whether he thought it was acceptable for then Minister of Justice, Judith Collins, to divulge the name of a public servant who was subsequently subjected to severe death threats. Key was unable to break away from what started off sounded like an irrelevant, rote-learned answer, and ended sounding like a performance of the Les Misérables hit, ‘At the End of the Day’.

Hager hopes that anyone who reads his book, or at least hears the essential points from it, “will be motivated and want things to be different, rather than just thinking ‘oh, here’s more stupid politicians.’” With the way the polls have been looking since the release of Dirty Politics, it certainly looks as though people are sitting up and paying attention. Blogger Gordon Campbell says “when future historians seek to identify the exact moment when the prime ministerial career of John Key hit the downward slope, they may well point to Key’s interview ... with Guyon Espiner.” Hager’s book may well have sparked a turning point, not only in how politics operates, but our level of engagement with it. Here’s hoping. l

In the wake of the release of Dirty Politics, this seems to be changing. Hager is impressed with the mainstream media

A fundamental pillar of democracy, freedom of expression encompasses the right to receive and impart ideas and information.

As Moreham summarises, the law is careful to guard the media’s right to tell the public about “things they need to know to make informed decisions about their society and the way it is governed.”

John Key says that this is totally fine, and

But how effectively can the media act as a watchdog when the infrastructure of our information systems rests on such shaky foundations – when our ‘news’ is often the fruit of less-than-salubrious investigation, fabrication, manipulation or leaking?

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Twitter Views

In the wake of Dirty Politics, it seems that there is a real lack of transparency in the way our news is made. What journalists know and what is reported seem to be two different things.

So in the interests of transparency we thought we would experiment with free speech by conducting interviews with journalists over Twitter. We decided to interview exSalient journos who have made it big, and we were surprised by the sheer number of them in all parts of the ‘Mainstream Media’.

3 News Political Editor. Pretty busy right now.

What’s the main difference between student media and mainstream media?

Elle Hunt @mlle_elle Sep 2 @salientmagazine Mainstream media has more resources, readership, clout.

Not (necessarily) as fun, and rarely geared towards young people Laura McQuillan @mcquillanatorz Sep 2 Student media has a lot of freedom to be outrageous and fun. Mainstream media is more serious, but my press gallery colleagues make every day great.

It was a bit of a learning curve. After pissing all our followers off by clogging their Twitter feeds, we learnt some things about the use of social media. One, that we should use hashtags more. Two, that we should say hello first. And three, people can be dicks over the internet.

Matt Nippert @MattNippert Sep 2 @salientmagazine Mainstream has more money, reach, and conservatism. MSM really is an institution and stories are genuine team efforts.

But we also got some great answers. So thank you everyone for taking part in our awkward experiment over Twitter.

John Campbell @JohnJCampbell 21h @salientmagazine The weight of scrutiny? The responsibility to be true & fair? Not that you aren’t true & fair, just different consequences.

What did you do at Salient & when were you here?

joint-byline with a guy called Carl Allwood – who is now a lawyer in Burma! That was 1998.

Our high point was an interview with Hurricanes second-five Jason “Bogues” O’Halloran, and covered the fact his cat had just been speyed.

Toby Manhire @toby_etc 49m @salientmagazine income, expectation, hours

What do you do now?

Patrick Gower Got to wear a suit. And not one from an op-shop

Elle Hunt @mlle_elle Sep 2 @salientmagazine For as long as I was at @VicUniWgtn! First as a reviewer, then as a feature writer, then coeditor, then back to features Laura McQuillan @mcquillanatorz Sep 2 @salientmagazine official title was news editor ‘07 but mostly I spun on a chair and mercilessly mocked VUWSA Matt Nippert @MattNippert Sep 2 @salientmagazine News and feature ed. Followed two applications to be editor - losing both. I’m an awesome bridesmaid.

Matt Nippert @MattNippert Sep 2 @salientmagazine 2003 was my year of Salient. We lost best trade rag at Qantas Media Awards to nappy magazine Little Treasures. #bridesmaid John Campbell @JohnJCampbell 21h @salientmagazine I didn’t start at Salient. I was a @RadioActivefm boy.

In love with music & all it said on my behalf. Besotted with bands.

Toby Manhire @toby_etc 28m @salientmagazine editor, 1997 Metro @MetroMagNZ 2m .@toby_etc @BolshevikBill @ salientmagazine @markcubey @richarda Editor 1978 - SW. Mark Cubey @markcubey 17m @salientmagazine 82/83/84 writerlayout/editor/biz mgr Patrick Gower (Patrick Gower responded over email) A ground-breaking sports column called “A Funny Old Game”… A 12

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Elle Hunt @mlle_elle · Sep 2 @salientmagazine I’m a producer at @ TheWirelessNZ, which is @radionz’s website for people 18-35. I switch between writing and editing (Laura McQuillan responded over email) Laura McQuillan @mcquillanatorz Sep 2 I’m a political reporter at Newstalk ZB, currently following John Key and the blue team around the country on the election campaign trail.

Matt Nippert @MattNippert Sep 2 @salientmagazine Senior reporter for Fairfax Media’s business team. Mostly white-collar crime, but a bit of profiling and company coverage.

John Campbell @JohnJCampbell 21h @salientmagazine I work at TV3 on a programme called @CampbellLiveNZ. I work with great people. And when we do get it right, we really do.

Toby Manhire @toby_etc 50m @salientmagazine freelance writer & editor, mostly scribbling for Listener, Herald, Guardian Sarah Robson @rarahsobson 55s @salientmagazine I’m a political journalist for NZ Newswire/Australian Associated Press Patrick Gower

Sarah Robson @rarahsobson 44s @salientmagazine you’re allowed to swear heaps in student media. I really enjoyed swearing in print

What are the best and worst parts of being a journalist?

Elle Hunt @mlle_elle Sep 2 @salientmagazine I like being able to ask pretty much whatever I want, of anyone who seems interesting; I don’t like transcribing interviews Laura McQuillan @mcquillanatorz Sep 2 Best: Every day is something different - news keeps you on your toes. I love the travel and the press gallery crew, and sometimes we get free snacks.

Worst: Sleep deprivation and always being in a hurry! But that’s outweighed by the good times.

Matt Nippert @MattNippert Sep 2 @salientmagazine Best: Selfdirecting, ability to chase curious ideas to their conclusion. Worst: Threats - both legal and personal.

John Campbell @JohnJCampbell 21h @salientmagazine Best bits: the privilege of being able to be there, and the way people trust us with their stories. Worst parts: sadness.

Toby Manhire @toby_etc 47m @salientmagazine having no idea what the industry will look like in 10 years S A L I E N T

Patrick Gower The excitement of working to deadline. And the pain of working to deadline.

What story of yours are you most proud of?

What’s the biggest issue this election? Who do you think will win?

Elle Hunt @mlle_elle Sep 2 @salientmagazine no comment pic. twitter.com/MWr7LPoHrc

Elle Hunt @mlle_elle Sep 2 @salientmagazine I hate all of them as soon as they’re published, really.

Onwards and upwards Laura McQuillan @mcquillanatorz Sep 2 At Salient, I had a great yarn about a student politician misusing VUWSA money on psychic hotlines. Today, it’s any story that involves digging, or when I’m live on air with breaking news.

John Campbell @JohnJCampbell 21h @salientmagazine All the stories where we’ve given a damn & changed the way people see things for the fairer. Giving the voiceless a voice.

Sarah Robson @rarahsobson 32s @salientmagazine I’m really proud of the 2010 women’s issue. No copies left, incredible feedback & got people talking about abortion rights Patrick Gower The last one. Only as good as your last yarn in this business. I really liked the 3 news team coverage of the demise of Crusher Collins. .

What are the pros and cons of using social media in your job?

Elle Hunt @mlle_elle Sep 2 @salientmagazine Pros: “Personal brand”, raking up faves with witty commentary about kale. Cons: Time suck, misplaced source of confidence

Laura McQuillan @mcquillanatorz Sep 2 You’ve got to be careful not to be a dick or to feed trolls. I’m a prolific tweeter and it’s a great way to break news or run commentary.

Matt Nippert @MattNippert Sep 2 @salientmagazine It’s a time sink, and potential magnet for controversy.

But also generates odd lead and my sole outlet for humour.

John Campbell @JohnJCampbell 21h @salientmagazine Engagement is a pro.

New ways of seeing. A wider paradigm.

Ugliness is a con. But ugliness is everywhere. Time wasting!

Toby Manhire @toby_etc 46m @salientmagazine it’s a freelancers’ watercooler, a wellspring of ideas and laughs, but it has left my home life in tatters Patrick Gower Getting to engage with good cats, like Salient. That’s good. Copping endless abuse – that’s bad.

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Re: Tweets David Farrar @dpfdpf Sep 2 @salientmagazine You should ask all former editors how many of them have made out with other former editors :-) David Slack @DavidSlack Sep 2 I just assumed @salientmagazine was making some kind of meta statement about whaledump and online conversations.

Laura McQuillan @mcquillanatorz Sep 2 Dirty Politics has been huge, but it has, unfortunately, overshadowed policy. National will win, but will they have the numbers to form a government? It’s an exciting election for political geeks.

Matt Nippert @MattNippert Sep 2 @salientmagazine Everything’s up in the air - I think all bets are off.

Patrick Gower The economy and “dirty politics” – and everything in between. I don’t pick winners – there’s such a complicated picture under MMP.

Final Q we promise! Advice to budding journos?

Elle Hunt @mlle_elle Sep 2 @salientmagazine Practice horizontal loyalty/”shine theory”; you never know who of your student media colleagues you’ll work with one day Laura McQuillan @mcquillanatorz Sep 2 Back yourself, put yourself out there, sort the truth from the bullshit. Be fearless but fair. Write for Salient! It’s a great stepping stone Matt Nippert @MattNippert Sep 2 @salientmagazine Spend 90% of time on getting source material, only 10% writing. Let material talk: Leave literary stuff to @SteveBraunias John Campbell @JohnJCampbell 21h @salientmagazine Work REALLY hard.

Don’t be cynical. Nod when the old timers give advice. Trust your own voice. Curiousity, empathy & spine.

Matt Nippert @MattNippert 21h @JohnJCampbell @salientmagazine Learn to say no to your bosses. At appropriate times, of course. That one took me ages to learn.

Sarah Robson @rarahsobson 34s @salientmagazine read everything.

Get off your computer and go talk to people. Try writing news before you enrol in journalism school.

Maggie @maggiemaeveanne Sep 2 @robbasaurusrex @salientmagazine We do unfortunately get to see a salient interview before its published Damian Christie @damianchristie Sep 2 @salientmagazine @keith_ng Can I answer? I tried unsuccessfully to roll our editor in 95 but failed. She later got fired for embezzelment.

Giancarlo @louderthoughts Sep 2 One day I aspire to be twitterinterviewed by @salientmagazine. I wrote the crosswords a few times, you know.

Michele A’Court @MicheleACourt Sep 2 @salientmagazine @toby_etc @ robbasaurusrex @keith_ng @mlle_elle You seem to know how to Tweet, but maybe not so much the journalism, yeah?

Robert Kelly @robbasaurusrex 22h @salientmagazine this is the laziest vox pop I have ever seen.

It’s a testament to his character that @JohnJCampbell is being so nice.

Salient @salientmagazine 22h @robbasaurusrex @JohnJCampbell hey man, we’ve got feelings too Robert Kelly @robbasaurusrex 22h @salientmagazine Apologies, it’s just surreal to see @JohnJCampbell replying to the question “what are you doing now?”

Harry Evans @hdeee Sep 2 @salientmagazine I don’t think the question dump method is very good mate A . B . H @anguswow Sep 2 @hdeee @salientmagazine I thought it was cool that those tweets showed so many people had been involved in Salient. Were people upset?

Robert Kelly @robbasaurusrex Sep 2 Shit, you’d think @salientmagazine would know how to use email addresses by now. @toby_etc @ MicheleACourt @keith_ng @mlle_ elle Toby Manhire @toby_etc Sep 2 @robbasaurusrex @salientmagazine @ MicheleACourt @keith_ng @mlle_elle or how to say hello, even

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OFFENSIVE CONTENT WARNING

INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS

“I’m not racist, but…”

by Philip McSweeney

P

icture the scene: you’re a highly regarded, successful psychologist living in Victorian England. You’re sitting happily around a hearth in a suitably decadent home with a cup of tea, surrounded by your nearest and dearest. Your son has come to visit from afar. He has recently sired an heir in turn, and you’ve just been introduced to the little sprog. After some dutiful cooing, you lean back in your chair, feeling quite content with your lot. Suddenly, completely unbidden, you have a strange urge to fling the newborn into the roaring fire. What the hell do you do?

This scenario might seem shocking, even completely unthinkable, but it actually happens (in different iterations) very frequently. As the story goes, it was after 14

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experiencing this disturbing experience that psychiatrist William James began exploring those brief moments when thoughts occur that are completely out of our control and seem to represent something that we are abjectly adverse to.

A century-and-a-bit later, the psychiatric field has got it sussed. These thoughts are known as ‘intrusive thoughts’, and they happen to pretty much everyone with startling regularity.

Put simply, ‘intrusive thoughts’ are unsolicited, involuntary thoughts, images or impulses conjured up by your brain that cause unpleasantness and confusion.

Ever been driving and had a bizarre urge to veer across the side of a bridge? That’s an intrusive thought, and a totally normal one. Ever wanted to stick your hand in a fire? Same deal. If it’s any consolation,

according to one piece of research, 90 per cent of people have at least one of these thoughts every day: they usually only last five seconds, and for most people, they’re manageable and ignorable, barring the poor souls who suffer from OCD or other anxiety disorders (<3 y’all heaps!).

Almost all medical practitioners are in agreement that these intrusive thoughts are a normal part of the day-to-day human experience. Crucially, they almost never turn into corresponding actions and often appear completely on a whim. To quote one academic, Stanley Rachman, intrusive thoughts “have almost certainly always been a part of the human condition”.

These kind of distressing thoughts are

not the only kind of thoughts you could construe as ‘bad’. In a clever bit by Louis C.K. (I’m sorry to be a cliche of a twentysomething white male BUT), he claims that “you know you love someone when you share your deepest, innermost racism with them”. This point is elaborated on in a sketch where he talks more about thoughts you know to be stupid but also ones that are so, so easy to entertain. “Of course children who have nut allergies need to be protected. Of course,” he stresses, “but maybe… maybe if touching a nut kills you, you’re supposed to die”.

It’s savage, definitely, but it highlights something about the way people think that isn’t really addressed: sometimes, we think things that we know we shouldn’t be thinking. Jesse McCartney concurs: “this feeling’s taking control of me / and I can’t help it”. What a beautiful soul.

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This is because the human mind contains a rich framework of constantly firing thoughts, feelings, sensitivities, impulses and potential actions – alongside a shitload more elements behind the scenes. It’s an absolute maelstrom up in there, and for all the talk of the brain being the most powerful and penetrating tool in the known universe, it’s still just an organ. It’s fallible. The pseudo-scientific myth that we only use ten per cent of our brains at one time is definitely false. There’s a lot happening at a given time, it’s just that little of it is especially cogent or profound.

A surprisingly small amount is under your conscious control. I’d wager my trousers that you’ve spent a couple of nights of your life trying to sleep but getting carried along in a half-conscious loop of weird thoughts, memories and possibilities instead.

Let’s be clear though: most of our thoughts

COMMON INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS • • • • • • •

• •

• •

That person posts on social media about causes. Wanker.

That man smells. Has he not heard of deodorant?

Oh, you just want to order a salad. Self-controlled legend.

She’s wearing a short dress!

COME ON, WIND. Could that person eat that sandwich in a grosser way?

That person looks funny and they are Asian. Uh oh.

I could stab you right now.

I could kill you. Security wouldn’t move fast enough.

I wonder what would happen if I pushed her over?

This house would be easy to set on fire [really common, apparently].

I could just jump off this bridge right now.

That knife looks sharp… I wonder what would happen if I cut myself on it?

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would have soporific effects on those who could read them. Although as a human I’m capable of spending my time thinking about great philosophical questions, the correct make-up of chemical compounds, the inexorable futility of our existences etc etc, I mostly devote my daydreaming time querying why words like ‘eldritch’ went out of fashion. I wonder what happened to Miss Claudette on Orange is the New Black heaps. I have, err, salacious thoughts. So far, so mundane. But occasionally, I – and almost everyone else – have thoughts that err on the side of racism, sexism, a cohort of other -isms. They become a potential problem.

The truth is that our brains, for all their power, are extraordinarily susceptible.

The easiest example to give here would be that of advertising, whose efficacy has been proven countless times. They are also acquiescent to cultural narratives.

You can consider yourself above it all, but that seems very unlikely considering the way our brain processes information, even in the form of stories, and analyses it. So every time you hear a complaint about the Māori scholarship rates or ‘dolebludgers’, your subconscious internalises it even though you know empirically that a history of gross colonisation necessitates affirmative action and that even today Māori are systematically disadvantaged, or that most fraud in terms of dollars is committed by white-collar crims. That’s not to say that every morally questionable thought that pops into your brain is necessarily caused by societal influence – as intrusive thoughts demonstrate, some things do occur in a vacuum – but it’s probably worth interrogating these thoughts and wondering where they come from; who out there aids them and abets them?

This is not to downplay the importance of thoughts, no matter how fatuous or esoteric. If you posit “Never have I ever typed something into Google I’d be embarrassed to share with the group” in a game of Never Have I Ever, everyone will drink, no matter how candid they are with their porn predilections. This is borne partly out of societal pressure, maybe, but a root cause can be attributed to the importance of having inner thoughts and feelings entirely your own. Indeed, beginning to keep secrets is an integral moment of a child’s development.

There’s a comfort in realising that no one can follow our synaptic links, despite what we might think in

Ever been driving and had a bizarre urge to veer across the side of a bridge? That’s an intrusive thought, and a totally normal one. Ever wanted to stick your hand in a fire? Same deal.

If it’s any consolation, according to one piece of research, 90 per cent of people have at least one of these thoughts every day more paranoid moments. Moral qualms about ‘thought policing’ are valid – the gap between thought, action and ideology is a yawning one, and the idea of censoring our thoughts is unpalatable. It is clear that thoughts are what offer us our internality and fulfilment.

A further fly in the ointment is the question of how you can tell whether a thought is bad – or even if mere ‘thoughts’ can be bad at all. It’s a truism of history that most brilliant thoughts and thinkers often subverted prevailing orthodoxy, and being terrified of amending the status quo when things are failing is obviously a less-than-ideal scenario. As a rule of thumb, I gently suggest ignoring thoughts that could be harmful for people who are already harmed, and avoid stating thoughts that would effectively shit on people’s lived experiences. And, unfortunately, thoughts can be consuming – while in and of themselves they’re harmless, they’re obviously necessary for action to occur and an integral part of what makes up your personal beliefs. Tread with caution.

There is no reason to feel guilty or dreadful because of the odd ‘bad’ thought. It is this correspondent’s view that all thoughts are part of our brain’s natural creativity and curiosity. Instead, interrogate what they mean; wonder why they happen; feel normal and go back to idly fantasising about the bae that you occasionally make fleeting eye contact with during tutorials.

In the words of Mad-Eye Moody (or Barty Crouch, Jr, I guess), “constant vigilance” – but don’t forget to enjoy your thoughts too. The ability to create them is precious.

Fucking relish it.

If you are having trouble controlling ‘Invasive Thoughts’ or think you might be experiencing symptoms of OCD, go see your local GP or peruse the internet for your nearest specialist xx.l

If intrusive thoughts teach us anything, it’s that the way we think – like the way our dreams happen – don’t have any kind of overarching logic or linearity.

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Conspiracy Corner “Pull the Trigger (Warning)”

By Incognito Montoya TRIGGER WARNING: This column contains paranoiac material, traces of surveillance nanites and content that may be triggering to those who can’t handle the truth.

h, free speech. My two favourite words in the English language. Weeks of radio silence and I once more get to drop truth bombs. But as much as I would like to tell you about how celebrity nude pics are leaked every time

A

Weird Internet Shit

by Henry Cooke

tissue sales are down, I, like all writers, am monitored by some sensitivity-NSA, so I must employ that most loathsome of tags, the trigger warning. Which, being the meta-guy that I am, is the topic of this week’s column.

Trigger warnings were created with sensitivity to those with ‘trauma triggers’, such as those with posttraumatic stress disorder.

These have a basis in the school of psychology of behaviourism: that inward thought processes manifest outwardly as physical reactions. Mentions of sensitive topics like abuse in conversation or writing can lead to panic attacks or self-harm, and act as a preventative measure to ensure wellbeing.

Trigger warnings are a hotly disputed concept, namely in that they infringe on free speech. Some see them as censorship, or that they reduce a work to its most base salacious content without considering what the work’s overall purpose is. We have ratings before our TV shows for a reason, but some of us do watch Game of Thrones for the plot.

Part of these feelings come from a typical reaction of a sort of liberal overreach, the idea of increasing sensitivity being misinterpreted as political correctness to silence various powerful groups who up until now didn’t have to monitor themselves.

Triggers also tend to be very individualistic, and there is no way to account for everyone’s individual triggers; like comic-book stores, we all have our issues. For instance, my triggers include surveillance, Illuminati pyramids and Tony Abbott, but I couldn’t remain informed without them. There’s even an idea in the conspiracy community that we should be more sensitive to people and start investigating more ‘positive’ conspiracies like ‘chemtrails are good for your complexion’ or ‘the Moon landing was faked to give us something to believe in’ to alleviate this.

But I don’t see trigger warnings as entirely pointless. It’s a reflection of our increased focus on mental health and wellbeing in this solar minimum. As the internet aims to keep us informed, we ultimately decide what kind of thoughts we allow to be entertained in our own heads, the last place where we aren’t being spied on or regularly monitored (yet). The last place where we are guaranteed safety. Trigger warnings, while contested, do represent a much greater need for sensitivity in our stressed-out and sensationalising society. Don’t forget, dear readers: if the world gets tough, there is no shame in watching cat videos or buying chocolate on a shitty day. Do what keeps you sane.

something of ‘yours’. You realise that whatever you are reading presents a subjectivity so drastically different to yours that you find yourself making comparisons, picking out the incongruous similarities from the overwhelming asymmetry.

You find yourself reading the Ask.fm* account of an ISIS militant and realising you use the same slang as them.

No, really. ISIS militants say “tho”. ISIS militants use Kik. ISIS militants leave detached a lowercase “lol” below questions they deem ridiculous. ISIS militants take sides in the other great conflict of our time, coming down firmly in the Samsung camp. Then, among all the familiarity: “are you afraid to die?”

West in the only way possible, we admit, but once they start beheading people, our ability to understand drains away.

These casual social-media presences destabilise them as such a definite ‘other’. An alien quantity doesn’t type: “Ya Allah when it’s my time to go have mercy on my soul have mercy on my bros”.

ISIS know this. Their social-media arm is stupendous, a form of propaganda the world has never seen. With an official Android app, they are consistent when they need to be and varied when they don’t – basically, the app takes over your Twitter account for their special broadcast tweets (making sure they are sent out on thousands of accounts simultaneously) but leaves it under your control at all other times, allowing militants to develop/foster their own personal identities as members of ISIS – as real people. So yes, it’s a form of propaganda, a form that kind of works.

I would never presume to understand the experiences of those on either side of the conflicts in the Middle East, and clearly ISIS are a despicable operation. But they’re not aliens.

Bro.

“no”. lone, online, and not typing, one forgets to be A a discrete person. With four tabs of something fascinating and every biological need sated, the idea of a ‘continuing personality’ seems laughable – all you are is interested. You become subsumed into the system as a reader, safe in the knowledge that your reading is invisible, anonymous, secret. This kind of comfort is illusory, of course – just ask any of the guys a friend of mine has caught combing through her Tumblr – but hard to shake.

But you do. You click ‘like’ on the link and it becomes

Meals and Feels

by Eve Kennedy

pring has sprung! Hurrah! The first day of spring saw me in Auckland in the miserable rain collecting lemons off my sister’s lemon tree. The availability of free fresh citrus and MooChowChow restaurant on Ponsonby Rd are the only things to have ever tempted me to the City of Sails. I came home with 6 kg of lemons as carryon. I squeeze fresh lemons on pretty much every food, much like my Aunt Vivienne did with tomato sauce. This recipe is very adaptable: I took what For 2 mains or 4 sides: vegetables my flatmates • 1 eggplant had got at the vege market, • 2 capsicums (red is my cooked them, and added favourite) deliciousness in the form of • 100 g mushrooms • oil for cooking parsley pesto and halloumi.

S

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200 g packet of halloumi

•

70 g packet of hazelnuts

Pesto •

70 g packet of hazelnuts (or pine nuts if you’re prepared to shell out $5 for them)

•

2 fistfuls of parsley/one plant from the supermarket

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1 lemon, juiced and zested

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3 tablespoons parmesan

•

2 teaspoons minced garlic

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5 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

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Salt and pepper

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Method Slice the eggplant in half and then cut the halves lengthwise into slices 1 cm thick.

Cut the capsicums into long slices about 3 cm across. Cut the mushrooms in half.

Arrange the vegetables on a baking tray and douse gently with olive

The transnational nature of this decade’s extremist group makes this kind of experience unavoidable. The fighters come from all over the world – often speaking English – and are organised enough to run traffic systems, not just social-media accounts. Yet however many Vice docos one watches, it’s easy to think of the guys shaking assault rifles over their heads as completely alien, as people with experiences so far from our own that any understanding is impossible. They may be responding to lifelong structural violence supported by the

oil (or regular oil). Grill at 180 °C for 15–20 minutes, turning once or twice, until the skin of the capsicums has blistered and the eggplant is soft.

Brown both packets of hazelnuts in an oil-free pan at a medium heat for a few minutes until you start to smell them and the skins start to peel off. Remove from heat and divide the hazelnuts into two even amounts: use one for the pesto and reserve one to garnish the dish with.

While the vegetables cook, blend the pesto ingredients all together. Add some cold water to help it blend, if need be – be careful though: I always add too much and then have to try to thicken the pesto with more nuts. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Slice the halloumi into pieces 1 or 2 cm thick. Fry in a pre-heated pan for 2–3 minutes at medium–high, flipping the pieces once they brown.

Pour the pesto over the vegetables and mix thoroughly.

Plate this up, then place the halloumi and the hazelnuts on top.

In Review: The Lotus

by Julia Wells •

Location: 12 Majoribanks St, Mt Victoria.

•

Cuisine: Vietnamese

•

Price: Cheap–Moderate

•

Rating: 3.5/5

I’m a big fan of the large numbers of Vietnamese restaurants popping up over

Wellington at the moment.

Although my favourite is Little Hanoi, I’m always keen to try a new one. As soon as The Lotus opened, I had it on my list of places to go.

The Lotus is a relatively new establishment, next

*Ask.fm is a site where you can answer people’s anonymous questions, much like the Formspring of our youth. Ask your little brother.

to the Embassy’s back entrance on Majoribanks St. The décor is modern and elegant: minimalist with white walls, black tables down one side, and pretty menus. The Lotus’s aesthetic is particularly impressive given its low prices. It makes a welcome contrast to the dinginess of many of Wellington’s cheap restaurants. On the night I was there, I was offered a free drink, which made a nice welcome. The mango nectar is absolutely beautiful; I’d highly recommend it.

As a vegetarian, I was sad to see that The Lotus’s menu contained very few options.

Although there were a few meat-free entrées and salads, there was only one vegetarian main. Given the high numbers of vegetarians in Wellington these day, offering no choice of dishes is a pretty poor decision.

Some of the noodle dishes looked truly delicious, and I was sad that I couldn’t try them. Vegetable Curry with

Tofu ($13) it was.

I had mixed feelings on the curry. The flavour was lovely; wonderfully aromatic with plenty of coconut, lemongrass, and all other manner of Southeast Asian yumminess. At the same time, the curry broth was extremely rich, too much so for me to really enjoy it on its own. Over rice, it was very good. My other problem with the curry was the lack of tofu. Although the menu described the curry as ‘fried tofu with vegetables’, it contained only two small slices of tofu. I optimistically assume that this was a mistake rather than normal practice.

The Lotus wouldn’t be my first choice of restaurant, mainly because of the lack of vegetarian options.

However, the dish I tried was nice, and I’d happily eat it again. For its price, The Lotus gives a very pleasant dining experience and wellpresented food.

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CBT

by Jane T

T

his instalment of CBT was brought to you by how are you feeling?

CBT tells us that assessing our moods is important.

CBT tells us that our moods are created by our automatic thoughts.

CBT tells us that changing moods can be possible when we understand the thoughts creating these moods.

Māori Matters Nā Te Po Hawaikirangi

“Another ‘Maari’ sent to jail for child abuse, murder and thieves”

T

ēna kōutou te iwi o Te Whare Wananga o Wikitoria. Now that I have your attention... let me just elaborate on what exactly the media are trying

she gave me her column space this week to outline a few things I’ve got planned for next year.

Zwaan Says elcome back from your break! As you may have noticed, the poster boards are now devoid of VUWSA candidates and the chalk has been washed off. The VUWSA elections are over and I’m stoked to have been elected as your President of VUWSA for next year.

Thanks to all of you for voting (even if it wasn’t for me); we had the largest turnout ever.

W

Before we get ahead of ourselves, Sonya Clark still keeps her seat until the end of December – which is lucky for me, as I still have a few papers to finish off. But 18

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One of my key priorities is to improve life on campus for us students. Last week, I co-MCed the annual Wellbeing Symposium which the Uni runs, and it was alarming to hear the evidence of how stressed out we are compared to the rest of the population.

However, there’s plenty of simple things, like having spaces to chill out and have a nap or having cheaper and healthier food open later, which we can do at Vic to improve our wellbeing.

I’m also committed to finishing off campaigns that will make Wellington a more student friendly place to live. We nearly got Fairer Fares for public transport this year, and I’ll continue to work to make it a reality.

We’ll also continue to run the campaign for healthier housing so we don’t have to live in cold, damp, expensive flats.

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I am working towards a deadline at the library laughing at myself because the only pen I have is a purple Hello Kitty one. I’m eating a stupidly priced pastry I got myself to persuade myself to work but I’m still feeling very uncomfortable, though I am unsure as to which category of mood this discomfort resides in exactly. I am trying now both to begin my work and also to understand why I feel like barfing every time I try to begin my work, and my thoughts remind me that it is necessary to distinguish between your thoughts and your moods and your situational factors in order to understand why you want to vomit. My thoughts remind me that yes, your bodily reactions are totally valid expressions of something in and of themselves but you need to delve further and articulate exactly how are you feeling? in order to then understand where this is coming from. I’m thinking about my tutor complimenting me the other day on my work and realising that in this situation, aside from ‘I want to vomit’, the other more intelligible descriptions for my mood would be ‘nervous’, and ‘frightened.’ I’m thinking that my current mood might be ‘80 per cent scared’ and ‘20 per cent nervous’. My mind is like you now need to consider the automatic thoughts happening in your head in order to understand why you are feeling 100 per cent gross. My

thoughts are likeprobably this is to do with one of your fave automatic thoughts which goes: what if she reads all of my work from now on very intently and realises how full of pastry and bullshit I am. My mind is like this makes sense and would explain your being scared of working, now. I am realising that when I feel sick I need to understand which automatic thoughts might be behind this. I’m thinking that I need to identify the causes of my moods more, instead of being overwhelmed by my guts, because then I might gradually be more triumphant and successful and beautiful like Joan Armatrading in Me Myself I as I want to be a bigshot and have 90 cars but that is not going to happen if I do not do my work.

to convey here. Media are those who go in for the onedimensional perspective labelling te iwi Māori as all sorts: thieves, child beaters, WINZ spongers and/or druggies. You name it, the media have depicted this message everywhere in society. This has become a shadow on our Māori nation that not only shows one part of our culture but now defines us as a people. This is not only an overcast, but a rainfall on Māori who want to build a better and brighter future for our people. These stereotypes have now been ingrained into our ‘apparent’ identity and how people perceive us.

Stereotypes are the absolute worst. Don’t you just hate it when you walk into a shop and all the staff are watching you like a hawk, all because they saw on the news how high Māori rank in thievery? It makes me grunt every week when I turn the TV on to Police Ten 7 and without fail, there will be a ‘brown face’ that shows up stating their ethnicity as Māori.

Media, including newspapers, websites and even the 6 o’clock news, have publicised these degrading characteristics of us not as New Zealanders but as Māori. Yet when

Māori appear on national and international news for being recognised in their community, they all of a sudden become a “New Zealander”. Why are these identities separated?

When they see it as beneficial for them? And have you noticed that when Māori are described in the media for their negative behaviours, all of a sudden their Māori middle name is added? Maybe to subtly let the audience know what they are dealing with.

Being Māori should never be something that is covered by ignorance, hurt and embarrassment. It’s our Māoritanga that keep us grounded and that will keep us striving for the future.

This isn’t all we are as a people; we the whakatipuranga o apōpō need to show the media, Aotearoa, and most importantly ourselves that the taonga of our tipuna, which they have passed down, has still been upheld to the best of our abilities.

We also need to continue to hold the Uni to account and ensure that we’re receiving a quality education for the fees that we pay. Side note – VUWSA is hosting a forum with our Vice-Chancellor, Professor Grant Guilford, this Tuesday 9 September at 4 pm in SU217, to discuss where our fees go and what they should be for next year.

Come along and listen, or use your free speech to have a rant.

Finally, we need to get VUWSA on track. This year, Sonya’s done some fantastic work in sorting out stuff internally and starting to formulate a long-term plan for VUWSA. This is crucial, so we can have the resources to provide great services, run campaigns that actually make a difference, and are able to put on O-Weeks which aren’t crap.

I’m really looking forward to seeing what we make happen next year. If you have ideas, questions or comments, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

In the meantime – don’t forget to vote in the general election. We’ve arranged advance voting in the Hub to make it easy.

Yours, Rick Zwaan | Welfare Vice-President

Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association | M: 021 188 1705 | DDI: (04) 463 7406 | E: rick.zwaan@vuw.ac.nz | wvp@ vuwsa.org.nz

Executive Executive Column Column Declan Doherty-Ramsay

New Zealand is pretty rad when it comes to freedoms. We’re free to marry whoever we choose,

CBT tells us that changing moods can be possible when we understand the thoughts creating these moods.

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a talk therapy used to treat disruptive thinking. Each CBT client will use it in their own way, and students who think it could help them can visit Student Health.

“E kore au e ngaro, he kakano I ruia mai I Rangiātea” “I will never be lost, for I am a seed sown in Rangiātea”

we’re free to live our lives with legal protection from discrimination on a variety of grounds including race, sexual orientation, disability, and religious beliefs, and we’re free to express ourselves however we like, including speech.

One of the biggest acts of free speech is voting.

In New Zealand, we have independently run elections where election fraud is extremely rare and the results are free from government interference.

Unlike Australia, where you are legally required to vote, we in New Zealand can choose not only who to vote for, but also to not vote at all. It’s the option a lot of people our age are taking, with 42 per cent of people between 18 and 24 not voting in the last election.

Given that people in our age group represent ten per cent of the population, we have the power to make or change the government by voting, or choosing not to. I’m not particularly interested in selling a particular party or arguing

what kind of politics is right or wrong for New Zealand, but I do know through talking to so many of you about the What Are You Voting For? campaign that you care about things like the quality of your education, cheaper public transport, equality, and having a job at the end of your degree. Talking about parties and politics makes most of us switch off, but we as students are passionate about these issues and there is a divide that we need to cross.

We here at VUWSA are going to push the politicians on these issues at our Great Political Debate next Tuesday, and over the next two weeks you will be able to vote in The Hub from 11 am to 3 pm.

Come join us at the debate, ask questions, and head to the polling booth, more informed about the things that matter to you.

Free speech is rad, so don’t forget to use your voice!

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challenging the players and (as the illustrious Joss Whedon once wrote) give them what they need, not what they want.

Sure, all players think they’d have a grand old time in the same old space, stomping the same opponents and amassing gold.

But we all know that they’ll never find experience growth that way, and that’s no way to reach 20th Level!

For no reason at all, I think I’ll say that not a single one of the women I have ever played D&D with has ever had any effect other than enhancing the experience as a whole. One of them named her Fighter ‘Biggus Dickus’ once, but then she killed three orcs with her spear so we let it slide. Letting it slide is important as a DM – knowing when to do it, and when you’ve got to do something to let your players know that they are out of line, but keeping them interested in the game itself so as to heal the group instead of breaking it. Sometimes, that’s not about dropping a Tarrasque (or an anvil!) on them – but then again, Some Anvils Need to be Dropped.

Articulated Splines

by Carlo Salizzo

Isn’t this great? All of us, doing nice things, being happy! It’s great!

Dungeons & Dragons is a really fantastic way to spend an afternoon. I’m not kidding – for the small investment of a set of dice, some pencils and paper and a torrent of a few critical PDFs, you can have all the fun you want with your best friends right there in the comfort of your own home. And even better, there is very little evidence for pervasive, systemic discrimination against women in the D&D players’ community.

That’s such a wonderful aspect of D&D: you play with whomever you choose to play with. Your players’ community extends to basically the people in the room with you and nobody else. They can be whatever age you choose them to be, and none of them will be living out frustrated power fantasies or trying to exorcise the hormonal demons of teenage misunderstanding – unless, of course, you’re into that kind of thing.

And you get to choose (or write) the stories you want!

Isn’t that so wonderful, that when you feel that the published adventures aren’t challenging enough, too simple or overtly represent the patriarchal oppression of an art form in its infancy, changing the narrative is as simple as just saying so.

And what’s more, there’s no threat that any of the players are likely to come to the DM’s house in the middle of the night threatening violence – without expecting to be cast into an extraplanar void for eternity, that is!

As university students with finely tuned critical-analysis sensors, we can get a lot out of a D&D session. It’s easy to recognise the tropes that make up an adventure and use them to your advantage as a player – or to subvert them in new and interesting ways as a DM! That’s your job, after all: to keep

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Go to the person across the room who you want to add later and make sure they have kissed your hand before you add them. Eloquently explain to everyone who protests that they are wasting more time by protesting than you are. Just mention the cats. You can still be a ski instructor, that’s fine.

1.person held in order to have demands met 6.slang for MD 8.spot or speck 9.serving tables in a restaurant 10.“Vanished without a _____.”

11.a natural ability 13.depress a button on a computer mouse 14.not strong 16.secondhand 19.nut from an oak tree 20.toy that can “walk” down stairs 24.vigorous enjoyment; zest 25.not walking 27.female parent 28.finish, discontinue 29.females with the same parents

1. To cut down with an ax 2. not moving or in motion 3. creature from outer space 4. a line determining the limits of an area 5. to launch an assault 6. journals 7. to put a check mark on or next to 12. tool used for chopping wood 14. to herd horses 15. turned on sexually 17. same family as the moose 18. money earned over a set period of time 21. smoking cigarettes will turn these black 22. a sound 23. “the right to bear ____.”

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You add people on Facebook if you’ve seen them across the room at a friend’s event. You take more than 12 items to the express lane. Sometimes you use the word ‘meow’ in txts without mentioning felines of any kind. You would have liked to be a ski instructor.

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Die. Don’t get into politics.

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Your collarbones are excessively prominent and you are painfully aware of this. You take the physical aspects of the female reproductive system lightly. Your reading voice is so low and silky that it makes people want to bathe in burnt coffee.

Speaking of coffee, your caffeine intake and your napping are less compatible than FKA Twigs and Robert Pattinson (in that everyone is annoyed at even the vague prospect that they might work together).

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You’re balding, you’re pasty, your gut is bigger than it used to be thanks to a variety of luscious cakes consumed regularly while out at the Rosie Café with your dear wife whose intelligence and agency you subtly undermine at every turn. You frequently yell over the top of other middle-aged men. Sometimes you present with affectations of drunkenness.

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Embrace the tennis skirts. Wear them with blouses. And brogues. Spend some time on the internet. Talk to your peers.

Expand your understanding of ‘politics’. If you feel yourself wanting to vote right, ask someone to slap you. Employ selfdeprecating humour only as indulgence, and when mocking first-years, clearly present yourself as not one.

Your weekly column on how to be annoyed but still cute

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with Eleanor Merton

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your collarbones perfectly. Always employ your most ironic tone underlaid with reverence for these comments. Get into phone sales. Make much money. Quote poetry at your buyers until they cave. Mock other people for their use of leisure time.

Feel secure in the knowledge that your leisure is even more leisurely than theirs.

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Interview with Harry Evans, host of – Common Ground Cooke Interview by Henry Cooke

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witter-user-about-town Harry Evans has recently started the podcast Common Ground, where he interviews up-and-coming New Zealand creatives in depth – including musicians like Seth Frightening, Skymning, and Tommy Ill. It’s great – check it out at harryevans.podbean.com.

What inspired you to start Common Ground?

I used to do a radio show with my friend James Gibb and it was really fun. I stopped doing that in 2012, and had occasionally thought of doing another show, but the low listenership of the VBC made it feel pointless. I also started listening to more podcasts in the last year, one of which was this interview show based in LA called

Music

Is there a void you feel you are filling? Does New Zealand’s creative scene

“I think my age and the fact that I do go to heaps of gigs and shows mean that I have the confidence to feel like I know enough to be able to talk to these people about what they do.” talk about itself enough, or in the right ways?

‘Bullseye’ which is hosted by this guy Jesse Thorn, and he is always really well prepared and asks great questions. I also grew up obsessed with movies, music and reading and did drama at school, but never really felt like I wanted to write about any of that – but did want to have some form of output. As a result of all of these things, it occurred to me that there wasn’t a longform interview show, focussed on the arts, by someone my age. So I started one.

I guess I have to primarily do the show for myself, because if I hoped that it would be really

popular or whatever I would just get disappointed. I do think that there isn’t a show like Common Ground in NZ right now. I think my age and the fact that I do go to heaps of gigs and shows mean that I have the confidence to feel like I know enough to be able to talk to these people about what they do. I think there is a lot of talking like little interviews on websites or whatever, but you never learn anything from these. I think that the conversations due to the length of around an hour can be far more informative than a few-line interview [Shhhhhh]. I don’t expect many people to be interested in every episode, but I feel like if you like the arts in NZ, there will be at least one episode that will interest you.

What do you do to prep for an episode?

I generally am familiar with the person already, so it might be just reading interviews they have already done to make sure I don’t cover the exact same things, although sometimes that is inevitable. If it’s a musician like Daniel or Tom, I will listen to their music in the days coming up to the interview to jog my memory or think of questions. For writer Ashleigh Young, I read her book of poetry.

I just try to make sure I am as organised as I can be within the time, and write some topics I can refer to during the interview if I lose my place, but often they flow quite well anyway. It’s a great show to do the dishes to.

Visual Art Walters Prize Prize Spotlight Spotlight Walters

Kalisolaite Uhila’s Uhila’s Kalisolaite Mo’ui tukuhausia tukuhausia Mo’ui

by Hana Hana Aoake Aoake by

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irst encountering Kalisolaite Uhila’s performance Mo’ui tukuhausia for the Walters Prize made me uncomfortable and angry. A performance in which you perform homelessness seemed inherently exploitative to me. However, the more I discussed and thought about the intention of this work, the more I realised it was as much about perception of race as it was about homelessness. I’m not suggesting that this performance isn’t problematic, nor that it doesn’t deserve its highly criticised inclusion among this year’s Walters Prize nominees, but it is generating an important dialogue.

Born in Tonga and raised in New Zealand, Uhila draws inspiration from performance art histories and from his Tongan heritage and relationship to his environment. An MFA graduate of AUT, Uhila was nominated for the Walters Prize for Mo’ui tukuhausia (2012) from the exhibition What do you mean we? at Te Tuhi Centre for the Arts, Auckland. During this performance, Uhila was overwhelmed 20

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by the amount of public support, yet also experienced being spat on.

Mo’ui tukuhausia was a successful restaging, and as a result has established a community of homeless people around the gallery. Uhila lived solely on food donations from the public, and is donating his entire artist fee from the Walters Prize exhibition at Auckland Art Gallery to the City Mission. Despite a thorough explanation of the work’s intent, Uhila has experienced being ‘moved along’ by security staff. It is through this invisibility that Uhila’s work can be seen as being as much about the colour of his skin as it is about addressing homelessness in Aotearoa. This work recalls a performance by African-American artist Fred Wilson, in which he dressed as a security guard only to be walked past and made invisible. Traces of his endurance performance can be seen around the gallery, with his belongings scattered around the outside of the gallery.

This is the first in a two-part feature introducing this year’s Walters Prize nominees.

Part two will appear in next week’s magazine.

Elizabeth Thomson’s Invitation to Openness – Substantive and Transitive States The Dowse, Dowse, until until 23 23 November November The

by Mackenzie Mackenzie Paton Paton by

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espite the hours of labour-intensive handcrafting that Elizabeth Thomson’s installation Invitation to Openness – Substantive and Transitive States represents, it’s an exhibition that at first glance seems hardly there at all. The vast walls of The Dowse’s gallery space are marked by shadowy disturbances – hundreds of white moth sculptures create a ghostly swarm spanning the walls from floor to ceiling. For the bug-phobic, this flock of creepy-crawlies offers an experience which is more than a little unsettling. Invitation to Openness is Thomson’s largest installation piece. Each moth is made individually, drawing upon studies of various different species. Thomson models her moths from wax, used to produce moulds which give way to the final sculpture cast in bronze.

She’s seeking to frustrate a sense of solidity.

By finishing her moths with white paint and flocking, they’re rendered less visible, and the medium less identifiable. The moths range in size from just 3 cm to 20, and are carefully positioned to emulate the way moths naturally settle – haphazardly and grouped

together, shuffling towards the light.

Thomson, born in 1956, is a Wellingtonbased sculptor and installation artist. She draws upon the natural and scientific worlds to inform her work. An early-childhood fascination with moths was revived by a 2011 artist visit to the Kermadecs, where swarms of the fluttering creatures surrounded the buildings on Raoul Island.

The exhibition name comes from a ’70s jazz album that, for Thomson, reflects something of what she’s hoping to achieve – “To listen to the music, you just had to let it wash over you, and that’s what I’d like with this – just a chance to be in the space and spend time reflecting and being absorbed.” Invitation to Openness creates a very charged sense of stillness, part-spooky, part childhood camping, and completely worth a visit to The Dowse.

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Colourless Tsukuru Tsukuru Colourless Tazaki and and His His Years Years Tazaki of Pilgrimage Pilgrimage of

by Haruki Haruki Murakami Murakami by Reviewed by

by Jake Jake Arthur Arthur Reviewed

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here are two types of Haruki Murakami novels. One is the surreal story in full magical-realist style, narrated by an alienated urban man.

The other type is the story of an alienated urban man with some surreal descriptions or anecdotes thrown in. Colourless is of the latter type, but I wish it was the former.

Tsukuru Tazaki, an alienated urban man living in Tokyo, has been emotionally paralysed ever since his college friends abandoned him without explanation.

Spurred by a new girlfriend to get to the bottom of what happened, he tracks down his old friends, seeking closure.

Murakami is an author unafraid of wandering, and this novel is no exception.

It meanders pleasurably through a cycle of set-piece scenes so ubiquitous in his

books that the internet has invented a game called ‘Murakami Bingo’. There are scenes of people cooking, of people listening to jazz and classical music, of the narrator getting up in the morning, shaving, and masturbating.

A Murakami novel without these kinds of scenes is unthinkable, and his repetitiveness isn’t necessarily a flaw.

Reading these kind of scenes is enjoyable not because it is surprising, or dramatic, but because it is something familiar done well.

Like Tsukuru says about cooking, there is a lot to be said for simple meals cooked “skilfully and intelligently”.

Murakami Bingo aside, though, there still needs to be elements that are unique to each novel.

His stories are ultimately about personal growth – but the process of growing can vary wildly. In Dance Dance Dance, a series of bizarre encounters with a Sheep Man, and a murder mystery, prompts the protagonist into agency. In the more realist Norwegian Wood, the protagonist grapples

Why The Expendables 3 is the shit.

By Umirin Umirin M.A. M.A. Gaines.

Gaines.

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ude. I don’t wanna flaunt it or anything but… I lift, man; like twice a day, everyday. Get up, the adrenaline is pumpin’. That protein powder is the bomb. And guess how much milk I drink? Not 5, not 7, not 8 but 9 litres of full-fat milk a week. I’m bulkin’, man. I’m self-disciplined. Train like a beast, look like a beauty: that’s my life philosophy. But DUDE: after The Expendables, I’m ’mirin’ Stallone’s aesthetics. Holy shit, man. No wonder drunk bitches ain’t been picking up on my sexual dynamo.

This movie had everything a dude like me wants after paying 15 bucks.

None of this conversational, subtitled shit. It’s full of guns, explosions, fist fights, tanks, motorbikes… and all the classics. Jet Li, Wesley Snipes, Randy Couture,

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Harrison Ford. Arnold Schwarzenegger, what a legend. Man, how does he do it, keeping so swole at his age? Mel Gibson though. He think he’s all that, strutting around intimidating these ruthless fellas.

I could take him on. He was still ripped… don’t think I’m homo, just stating the obvious. The fighter chick was hot. Oh man, she was smokin’. She kicked a few asses. Didn’t say much either, for once. I like it that way, less distracting. Although she had a bit of attitude to those fine fellas in places. Not her place. They were saving her fine ass.

There were some wacky-as stunts. That bit where the jet boat just flies out of the water and lands on the truck. XTREME. And they all survive. Must be Stallone’s lucky ring. Fuckin’ funny as well.

Brah, you gotta see it. It’s mint.

Books with his would-be girlfriend’s mental illness.

Colourless is like Norwegian Wood with a little less substance. It does not have the surreal plot devices, the fantastical structures and characters of some of his more ambitious novels, like his recent and sprawling 1Q84. Instead, it relies for its interest exclusively on its central mystery – the question of why his friends jilted him – and the expectation that Murakami fans are happy to play Bingo with scenes they have read, in one form or another, many times before.

Neither of these is quite enough.

Tsukuru Tazaki travels to see friend after friend, trying to get to the bottom of his rejection.

But there is no tension in these scenes, and there is little feeling that they were strong friends at any point, except in Tsukuru’s repeated contention that they were an “orderly, harmonious community”.

This friendship, around which the whole novel revolves, is only reported. We are told that Tsukuru had an intimate group of friends, but we have so little exposure to that group dynamic that it’s hard to empathise with his omnipresent sense of loss.

Tsukuru’s journey also

doesn’t seem sufficiently meaty to justify his personal growth. By the heavy-handed last chapter, Murakami can be seen nudging him towards an emotional denouement we’re not convinced Tsukuru would have reached on his own, especially given the violent revelations he has uncovered. His “pilgrimage” does not offer closure, but he acts as though it has.

My disappointment in the novel went deeper than this, though. While many disagree with me, I think Murakami’s strength is magical realism.

Many great writers spin gold from mundane materials, but Murakami is not one of them. His legacy will be his ability to bring the surreal to bear on the everyday, and to draw them into the most compelling kind of cooperation.

It is the few strange elements in the novel which stand out, the relationship with Haida finding a perfect balance between his two modes, and making me nostalgic for his other, superior novels.

Colourless is just okay: its unremarkable narrator and unremarkable plot adds up to an unremarkable novel, as well as the nagging sense that a secret ingredient has been left out.

Objectifying the Dudebro

By Charlotte Charlotte Doyle Doyle By

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he dudebro is typically generalised as a homophobic, misogynist male who lifts. It becomes an interesting experience, therefore, to see Don Jon, a film which blatantly stereotypes and objectifies this contestable category of humans in return.

Played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt (this is also his directing debut), Don Jon’s life revolves around his bros, his job at a nightclub, picking up girls with his bros in the same nightclub, the ruthless car he aggressively drives to church on Sunday where he absolves all his sins, and his addiction to porn, which sex with Scarlett Johansson can’t even break.

It is somewhat extreme but maybe also horrifyingly realistic.

The jointly owned chin-up bar, the protein powder and the rating of women is all too familiar.

Can even relate to the excruciating and controlling behaviour of Scarlett Johansson who plays the hot girlfriend.

Film

Gordon-Levitt creates very deliberate cues for the audience to reflectively consider how these attitudes manifest themselves in real-life environments. For example, ‘play hard to get’ is suggested as a strategy to girls too often. No wonder guys think “girls are crazy”. After being presented with such an explicit representation of our tendencies (even if jovial), seeing a movie like The Expendables 3 becomes an even more uncomfortable experience when it’s difficult to tell if the dudebro behaviour is ironic. The only girl who makes an appearance in the movie wears exceedingly tight outfits and says nothing other than “men” in a despairing tone as she literally shoves a knife into a ‘manly’ fighter’s chest.

Commenting on the dudebro culture and its pressures is difficult when your knowledge is only as extensive as your experiences with people observed around you. And especially when you don’t actually know any girl who finds veins popping out of male forearms attractive (which is puzzlingly assumed by all guys questioned about this phenomenon). The implied social commentary is, however, revealing, because, as Don Jon discovers, and The Expendables hints at, even the dudebros need to be treated with sensitivity.

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Les Revenant Revenant Les

By Michael Graham

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s you may have inferred from the title, this is a French television show. I’m not sure why, but over the last couple of months I’ve started getting into the international television scene. This came out in 2012. It’s aired on Sundance TV. Also won some sort of International Emmy Award.

Pretty sure there’s an American version of the show now also. Just as there is for Bron/ Broen (The Bridge), starring Diane Kruger, which, frankly, took a reasonably subtle piece of narrative and bastardised the shit out of it. Clearly, the holidays haven’t helped me write any more coherently.

To business: The title means ‘The Returned’. A girl who was dead comes back to life years later and returns to her house in the middle of the evening as if nothing has happened. She’s not a scary zombie – though she does have an identical twin (twins are pretty weird),

and the twin having not died is in fact now not identical. Which makes things a bit odd. As things would be, if there were zombies running about.

The episodes sort of revolve around the town in an almost soap-opera fashion.

Large cast, large pool of characters who get proper screen-time. In a way, I almost think the creators of this show must have been watching a little Twin Peaks sometime ago. There are some vibes there, although I wouldn’t say Les Revenants has anything near the potency of Twin Peaks.

Anyway, it’s just a reference point.

Something which goes towards the moments of surrealism within the show.

Given that the thing is actually a drama with certain horror conventions (e.g. zombies), this makes for some surreal times.

Through the multiple characters, storylines start to merge, and by the end of the first

TV season, things have coalesced to the point that you sort of know what’s going on in the town in a wider sense. Except for the pesky town dam. In what seems to me to be following Ancient Greek fashion (though that’s probably purely fanciful), there also seems to be a balance between life and death in the world of the show, wherein a life’s end must coincide with another’s beginning. Sort of thing.

Mogwai do the soundtrack, I believe, if you’re the kind of person who enjoys a bit of the old Scottish post-rock. I know I do.

Really, what the show attempts is a look at mortality and grief. Also ‘Otherness’, which is a made-up word I remember from high-school English, I think.

Interestingly, the show does not do anything with notions of consumerism and stuff like that, which until I saw this sort of seemed to be one of those universal genre conventions of zombie stories.

it’s possible that I missed some things.

Particularly pertaining to the dam.

Anyway, the acting seems pretty solid. No idea really what was happening with the dialogue. Who knows how accurate my subtitles were. I assume they were okay.

Filmically, I’d say the cinematography is quite nice. They’ve done some interesting things with colours at times as well, and the frames look a bit washed-out much of the time. In a good way. Think about how that fits into the zombie theme… hmm.

Some of the bad things: it’s in French, so if you don’t speak French some patience is probably required. The show also falls down a little on narrative and character.

It sets itself up as something that could be a bit special, but lacks that certain je ne sais etc etc.

There’s also something happening with the town dam. And I personally found that unsettling.

As the thing is in French, and I don’t really speak much French,

To surmise, I would say this is sort of an interesting thing to watch if you can be bothered with it being in a different language.

If you can’t, stick to Broad City or something else a bit more fun.

What’s On Books: Writers on Mondays at Te Papa 8 Sept & 15 Sept: Students from this year’s Creative Writing Master’s programme at the IIML will read a fresh mix of poetry and prose.

Mondays 12.15–1.15 pm Te Marae, Level 4, Te Papa.

Free entry

German Film Festival – 4–14 September

At the Paramount, the programme includes several features and shorts.

Music: Mermaidens and Red Sky Blues

Fri 12 Sept, 9.30 pm MOON 1, $10

Film: New Releases – all 11 September

Night Moves – Thriller starring Jesse Eisenberg, Dakota Fanning and Peter Sarsgaard.

Predestination – Ethan Hawke stars in this thriller about time travel.

The Giver – Based on the novel by Lois Lowry.

Sorceress and Brockaflower

Fri 12 Sept, 9 pm Bodega, $15 (presales)

Keller Kinder, The Shocking and Stunning, and guests

Sat 13 Sept, 9 pm Valhalla, $~~~donation~~~

Wish I was Here – The latest Zac Braff comedy.

Theatre:

The Film Archives

Riddiford Street

Soup & A Seat series: movie + soup = $8 The Deadly Ponies Gang: 5 Sep. 12.15–1.15 pm.

Happy Everyday: Park Life in China: 12 Sep. 12.15–1.15 pm.

A Public Reading of an Unproduced Screenplay about the Death of Walt Disney

Antarctica: A Year on Ice – Fri 5 Sep, 7–8.40 pm. $10

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9–13 September 7pm at BATS Theatre

30 August – 27 September at Circa Theatre Tuesday and Wednesday 6.30 pm Thursday to Saturday 8 pm Sunday 4 pm Destination Beehive

29 August – 20 September at Circa Theatre Tuesday to Saturday 7.30 pm Sunday 4.30 pm

Visual Arts: William Kentridge: The Refusal of Time

City Gallery, until 16 November Combining the magic of theatre, film, sculpture, drawing, music and dance, the 30-minute, five-channel video installation addresses the elusive nature of time, and our political and personal efforts to control or deny it.

World Press Photo Exhibition

NZ Portrait Gallery, until 21 September, $5 entry the from and the to

Toi Poneke, 18–22 September works by Izzy Carson, Katie Pickett and Lucy Wardle.

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Contributors

Notices Notices CAMPUS COACHES 2015

Have you got what it takes to become a Campus Coach?

Over 130 students are required to become Campus Coaches in 2015 and help new students navigate their way through their first two weeks at University.

Apply on CareerHub by 10 September.

Link: http://www.victoria.ac.nz/coach

TOASTMASTERS

Pipitea students – communicate with confidence!

Toastmasters helps you improve your communication and leadership skills in a supportive, learn-by-doing environment. Now, Toastmasters is at Pipitea Campus for the first time. Develop your skills along with fellow Pipitea students – increase your self-confidence, become a better speaker, learn to run effective meetings, and add that spark to your CV. Find out more at our regular meetings every Tuesday, RWW 310, 5.45 to 7 pm. All welcome.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE PAID $5000 FOR AN IDEA?

Sovereign is giving away 5x $5,000 scholarships to students with creative ideas to improve the wellbeing of New Zealanders.

It could be an idea for an app, game, event, service, new technology, or a way for communities to connect.

Submit your idea at bethedifference.co.nz by 30 November.

As one of New Zealand’s leading life insurers, Be the Difference affirms Sovereign’s commitment to supporting the health and wellbeing of Kiwis.

“Be the Difference is all about finding innovative ways to inspire New Zealanders to take control of their health and wellbeing,” says Chris Lamers, Sovereign’s Chief

Marketing and Innovation Officer. “We look forward to being surprised and inspired by the innovative thinking of young New Zealanders ready to make a difference.”

DO YOU HAVE AN AMBITIOUS IDEA FOR A BETTER NEW ZEALAND?

Whether an event, project or social enterprise, selected ideas and teams will be given access to a world-class programme with mentoring and early-stage support to thrive.

Live the Dream is a ten-week accelerator programme, running for the second year this summer in Auckland and Wellington. It’s an opportunity to network with some of NZ’s most brilliant minds from a diverse range of sectors. It’s a chance for intensive professional development, to learn the tools, skills and confidence to grow great ideas with impact.

Don’t just dream it: do it.

Enter before 21 September. www.livethedream.org.nz #ideasforabetterNZ @LivetheDreamNZ

CAREERS & JOBS

Applications closing soon…

Organisations: Closing Date GHD: 8 Sep EY: 10 Sep Comvita Innovation: 12 Sep Douglas Pharmaceuticals: 12 Sep Peracto Pty: 12 Sep Newmont Asia Pacific: 14 Sep Quest Integrity NZL: 14 Sep McKechnie Aluminium Solutions: 15 Sep Tasman District Council: 15 Sep CRL Energy: 18 Sep Westland Milk Products: 21 Sep Citi: 22 Sep eCoast: 25 Sep Modlar: 25 Sep Endace Technology: 26 Sep ELECTION OF ONE MEMBER OF THE UNIVERSITY COUNCIL BY THE STUDENTS NZX : 26 Sep OF THE UNIVERSITY Integrated Control The term of office of one student member of Council (David Alsop) expires on Technology : 27 Sep 31 December 2014.

Hewlett Packard: 29 Sep Nominations are invited to fill this vacancy from 1 January 2015 for a term of one year.

MetService: 29 Sep Nominations, which must have the consent of the nominee, close with the Returning Upcoming Free Careers Officer at 5.00pm on Wednesday 24 September 2014. A nominee must be a person Events for all students who is, or has been, a student at Victoria University.

Microsoft Student Accelerator: 8 Sep All students are eligible to make nominations and vote in the election. For election Intent Group: 10 Sep purposes, a student is any person currently enrolled in a personal course of study at CAANZ Recruitment: 12 Victoria University or a person who is studying at the University under an exchange Sep agreement with another institution.

NZX Graduate Open Day: The election is governed by the Council Election Statute.

15 Sep NOMINATION FORMS Zomato Recruitment: 18 Sep Copies of the nomination form and the information sheet to be completed by 2015 JET Programme: 19 candidates are available on the Council website, from Reception in the Hunter Sep Check details/book on Building, or by contacting the Returning Officer by email caroline.ward@vuw.ac.nz.

CareerHub: www.victoria.

CLOSING OF THE STUDENT ROLL ac.nz/careerhubrtive learnThe Student Roll will close at 5.00pm on Thursday 2 October 2014. by-doing environment. Now DATE OF ELECTION Toastmasters is at Pipitea If the number of nominations exceeds the number of vacancies, an election will be Campus for the first time. held on Wednesday 15 October 2014, with the polls closing at 5.00pm. Voting will Develop your skills along commence on Wednesday 8 October and candidates will be elected by the single with fellow Pipitea students – transferable vote method. increase your self-confidence, become a better speaker, learn Voting documents will be sent to students at their preferred University email addresses. to run effective meetings, Caroline Ward and add that spark to your Secretary to Council and Returning Officer CV. Find out more at our Victoria University of Wellington club meetings, every Tuesday PO Box 600, Wellington in RWW310, 5.45–7 pm.

Caroline.ward@vuw.ac.nz All welcome! http://www.

04-463 5196 facebook.com/PipiteaTM

CALL FOR NOMINATIONS: VICTORIA UNIVERSITY OF WELLINGTON COUNCIL ELECTION 2014

S A L I E N T

Editors: Duncan McLachlan & Cameron Price

Designer: Imogen Temm

News Editor: Sophie Boot

Arts Editor: Chloe Davies

Chief Sub-Editor: Nick Fargher Distributor: Joe Morris Feature Writer: Philip McSweeney (chief) Penny Gault

Web Editor: Dexter Edwards News Interns: Simon Dennis Steph Trengrove Arts Editors: Nina Powles (Books), Charlotte Doyle (Film), Henry Cooke (Music), David Williams (Theatre), Simon Gennard (Visual Arts), Michael Graham (Television)

General Contributors Hana Aoake, Jake Arthur, Declan DohertyRamsay, Madeleine Foreman, Te Po Hawaikirangi, Emma Hurley, Eve Kennedy, Molly McCarthy, Eleanor Merton, Gus Mitchell, Mackenzie Paton, Alice Peacock, Ollie Ritchie, Carlo Salizzo, Wilbur Townsend, Julia Wells, Rick Zwaan

Contributor of the Week Penny Gault

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