Salient 08, 2013 - Environment

E I L N A T S 1938

monday 6th may 2013 VOL 76 ISSUE 08

the environment issue

E I L N A T S

Salient's a scarce resource,

share this issue around!

1938

An Organ of Student Opinion Since 1938

“

I accept that climate change is happening, but it just seems like too much to deal with.

We only just passed marriage equality.”

”

The State of the Nation - page 21

Genus Salientus

News Interns: Sophie Boot & Alex Lewin

Editors: Stella Blake-Kelly & Molly McCarthy editor@salient.org.nz

Arts Editor: Philip McSweeney arts@salient.org.nz

Designer: Laura Burns designer@salient.org.nz News Editor: Chris McIntyre news@salient.org.nz Chief Reporter: Phillipa Webb

Film Editor: Gerald Lee Books Editor: Alexandra Hollis Visual Arts Editor: Sharon Lam Music Editor: Philip McSweeney Theatre Editor: Diana Russell Games Editor: Patrick Lindsay

Feature Writers: Henry Cooke & Patrick Hunn Chief Sub-editor & Uploader: Nick Fargher Distrubition Specialist: Joanna Judge

Contributors Hayley Adams, Tyrone Barugh, Hilary Beattie, Dave the Beer Guy, Gabrielle Beran, Chloe Davies, Simon Dennis, Crue Doil, Freddie Hayek, Hector and Janet,

Jonathan Heslop, Lux Lisbon, Rory McCourt, Carla Marks, Ngai Tauira, Sam Northcott.

Pasifika Students' Council, Anna Peacey, Cam Price, Puck, Rosie, Carlo Salizzo, Emma Smith, Grace Tong, Wilbur Townsend, Julia Wells, Josh Wright, Rick Zwaan Contributor of the Week: Rick Zwaan

Advertising Contact: Ali Allen

ARTS features

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18

HEAD TO HEAD: FAIRER FARES 20 WEEKLY CONTENT

4

Sounding out the student voice: part one

editorial

21

5

THE STATE OF THE NATION

dinocop top ten

6 news

14 politics

16 campus digest

24

A JOB FOR TOMORROW 27

VISUAL ARTS COLUMNS

30 vuwsa ngai tauira pasifika

32 LUX LISBON

33 fixing your life

34 LAYING DOWN THE LAW WEEKLY RANT

Level 2, Student Union Building Victoria University P.O. Box 600. Wellington Phone: 04 463 6766 Email: editor@salient.org.nz Website: salient.org.nz Twitter: @salientmagazine

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40 THEATRE

41 GAMES salient <3 you

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FACES TO DEFACE HOOPIN' AND HOLLERIN'

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THE REAL COST OF STUDY

36 THE SWEET SCOOP bEER'd

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About us Salient is produced by independent student journalists, employed by, but editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Students' Association (VUWSA).

Salient is a member of, syndicated and supported by the Aoteroa Student Press Association (ASPA). Salient is funded by Victoria Univeristy of Wellington students,

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A DAY IN THE LIFE OF: CARBON NEUTRAL STUDENT

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film

POWERSHIT

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through the Student Services Levy. It is printed by APN Print of Hastings. Opinions expressed are not necessarily representative of ASPA, VUWSA, APN Print, the petroleum industry, Aaron Gilmore, Lord Christopher Monckton, but we of Salient are proud of our beliefs and take full responsibility for them.

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The Environment.

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EDITORIAL 

EDITORIAL 1b

Un -Fe de ra te

Compulsory KeepCups

dF ar me rs

ill

Another year. Another week VUWSA Environment Week. Another Environment Issue of Salient. The week will come and go, you may attend some of the events hosted, meet someone cute who’s involved with GenZero, and get a fire in your loins for climate change. But that—just like your newfound love of a raw food diet—will pass.

It’s not that we don’t care. We genuinely want to live in a New Zealand that is better, brighter, and fairer than the one before. Look, for example, at the across the board youth support of the recently passed Marriage Equality Bill (again, we know). Extensive petitioning, social media campaigning, letterwriting, and lodging of submissions by youth went a long way in persuading Parliamentarians to vote in favour. But that battle, although valiantly fought, was relatively easily won. We could retweet or share statuses about the Bill, and it would actually make a difference by increasing visibility of public support for the Bill. We could follow and actively target the votes of MPs against or still undecided on the issue thanks to internet apps. And then, after all of our hard work, the Bill was passed into law on 17 April—less than a year after it was first drawn. It was about as close as you can get to instant gratification when it comes to influencing positive social change.

When it comes to the environment however, things start to get a bit tricky.

The waters are seriously muddied, and herein lies the problem. There is not one problem, but many. Problems that are complicated, far-reaching, and will certainly take more (and a lot longer) than a piece of legislation to fix.

But a piece or two of legislation certainly wouldn’t hurt.

4

lik

es o

nt ha tp

ola rb ea rp ho to

with our reusable bags and KeepCups, a great deal of this change is going to have to come from the top.

We humans don’t always do what’s best for ourselves. Indeed, sometimes we actively seek to do things that we know are bad for us (Hello, entire block of Whittaker’s Peanut Butter chocolate). This is where our elected representatives come in. These 121 individuals have been selected to steer our country in a direction which is better, brighter, and fairer. Sometimes this will mean making decisions on our behalf, even though some of us might not like them.

When the Homosexual Reform Act passed in 1986, it is not clear that, put to the general public, the result of this vote would have been the same.

In hindsight however, we can appreciate that the decriminalisation of homosexuality was an inherently good thing. Our attitudes needed changing, it was the time to act, and Parliament was there to steer us in the right direction.

Right now is the time to act for the environment. Even if we were to stop our carbon emissions entirely tomorrow, we would be stuck with current temperature increases for up to 1000 years. It’s easy to push environmental issues to the back of our minds because their effects aren’t staring us in the face. Yet. It’s boring to harp on about and it’s scary to think about, but these issues aren’t going to go away simply because we stop talking about them. If we want a better tomorrow, we have to start pushing for it today. As homegrown oracle Rachel Hunter explained, ‘It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen’.

The age-old trade-off of environment versus economy can’t continue for much longer, unless we want our economy to begin to decline in step with the environment. We may need to change how we live, and we will certainly have to change how we think. And, as much as we believe we can achieve

Molly

ion

ing th ery Ev Soy

s ion rat e n e Ge tur r Fu o f r e t s Mini

Finally, on a lighter note, fill out your student experience survey! It’s probably sitting in your inbox, courtesy of Victoria University, right now. You could win and iPad! And on another note, Salient's funding kind of depends on you telling the powers that be that we’re worth your money ;)

& Stella

CARLO SALIZZO - @LOUDERTHOUGHTS

TOP TEN Trees

TEN Chemistree

NINE Professor Treelawney

EIGHT Pastree

SEVEN Treeson

SIX Tree Songz

FIVE A family tree

FOUR Star Treek

THREE

TWO Public Indecentree

ONE Pine

BY SAM NORTHCOTT

NEWS





NEWs 

Plant your own seed of news deep in our fertile garden. Email news@salient.org.nz

PAYBACK TIME?

University faces financial conundrum as enrolments stutter chris mcintyre

It’s a case of less students, more problems at Victoria, as low enrolments mean the University may have to pay back millions of dollars in funding.

The University has not met enrolment targets for both domestic and full-fee (international) students. Domestic students are currently at 95.1 per cent of the 2013 target, while fullfee students are at 76.4 per cent.

These percentages mean the University may fail enrolment targets set by the Government.

It is important for the University to meet targets for budgeting reasons, and to meet thresholds which, if not met, mean the University must repay previously allocated funding. University documents state that the financial impact of failing these targets has “[the] potential to be significant”.

As previously reported in Salient, this year the Government cut the enrolment-based funding threshold from three to one per cent.

This means that universities have to meet 99 per cent of their enrolment targets to avoid paying back funding. Under the old system, education providers did not have to repay any funding if they enrolled 97 per cent of their target number of students.

While Minister for Tertiary Education Steven Joyce stated at the time of the policy change that the new margin of error is reasonable, University Council documents refer to this decrease as a “critical constraint”. Had the new threshold been applicable last year, Victoria would have had to repay $2.1 million to the Tertiary Education Commission.

Despite these numbers and potential financial risks, the University is not concerned that the current projections show student numbers to be lagging behind targets. Enrolments are still being taken for Trimesters Two and Three, however.

6

“The enrolment numbers presented at the University Council meeting were for February. More recent figures show that numbers are tracking as expected,” a spokesperson told Salient.

Roger Taylor, who tabled the report, allayed fears of financial vulnerability, assuring the Council that although things are tracking against the budget, it’s more to do with the timing of the report. “[It’s] not a time to panic,” he said.

Regardless, the document recognises it will be a “tight year” allowing for changes that have occurred, and University management will have to keep their eye on the ball.

“Tight fiscal management and clear reporting is essential to ensure that the University manages and responds appropriately to these risks,” the report states.

While subject to the risks of low enrolments, the report showed the University had an operating surplus of $10.9 million for the period ending 28 February 2013. Despite Victoria’s external debt peaking at $45 million in January this year, total debt is forecast and budgeted at 6.8 per cent of the value of the University’s assets—well within the 20 per cent target.

Victoria’s total assets are listed at $801.1 million as of February 2013, or roughly $50,000 for each of Victoria’s 16,314 confirmed full-time students.

The data was released in a financial report covering the University’s financial position, detailing revenue, expenditure and debt for the period ending 28 February 2013. It was tabled at the second meeting of the University Council—Victoria’s governing body—held in the Council Chambers last Monday.

 NEWS

END IN SIGHT FOR ENDLESS SITE Distracted students to find other excuses Chris McIntyre

After close to four years of construction, nearly all elements of the Campus Hub are expected to be completed within four months.

The work still to be completed includes the entire internal refurbishment of the Rankine Brown building, including the Library and Building Management Unit on the upper floors, and the Tim Beaglehole Courtyard (also known as the Quad).

collapse of Mainzeal as a risk, the financial impact of which is currently uncertain.

Exposure to ongoing liabilities is currently being assessed.

“At this stage we expect any financial impact to be minimal. Exact details will not be known until our discussions with the receivers are concluded. This is expected to take some time,” said Dahya.

This is within the original 2014 deadline planned at the start of construction. However, a pair of lifts will take longer than four months to complete.

The Hub cost $67 million in total, the cost being split between the University and the VUWSA Trust.

As previously reported in Salient, main contractor Mainzeal collapsed in February, leaving a cloud of uncertainty hanging over the project. LT McGuinness has since been contracted to finish the work, employing some of the workers shafted when receivers took over Mainzeal.

Despite not being completed, the Hub has already been officially opened by GovernorGeneral Jerry Mateparae on 21 March, in a ceremony attended by University management, foreign dignitaries, Mainzeal employees, and student leaders.

“Most previous subcontractors involved in the project are back on board,” Satish Dahya of Campus Services told Salient.

All retail stores in the central Hub area are now open for business, with sushi store Makimono opening most recently. The unfinished elements of the project have not stopped students making full use of the space, with space often at a premium during classes and breaks.

A financial report tabled at the most recent University Council meeting has identified the

Puff and Pass in the Past?

Legals highs facing legal lows Grace Tong

Getting high may soon be a little out of reach, with the Government addressing a Kronic problem with the safety of legal synthetic drugs.

The Psychoactive Substances Bill passed its First Reading on 9 April and is currently before Select Committee. It will regulate the legal high market by ensuring products must be proven safe before being able to be sold.

The Bill will create a regulatory authority to issue a manufacturing code of practice, approve or decline psychoactive substances, and issue importation, manufacturing and sale notices. It will restrict sale of products to those under 18, and restrict places of sale.

Offences and penalties will include up to two years’ imprisonment for some offences, and

fines of up to $500,000.

“This is game-changing legislation that will be in place by August, and will make the industry prove its products are safe or they will not be on the market,” said Associate Minister of Health Peter Dunne.

Currently, many synthetic drugs can be sold without restrictions and without informing buyers what they contain. This Bill will force the industry to show that products such as party pills or synthetic cannabis are “low-risk” before they can be sold.

The current Bill will replace the status quo present since August 2011, whereby the Misuse of Drugs Act allows the banning of substances to take place only after new

substances have been identified as unsafe. So far, 35 substances and 50 different products have already been taken off the market under the Act, with Dunne announcing two new bans last week.

Green MP Kevin Hague has expressed concerns about the term “low-risk”.

“If the threshold is set too high and no substances actually make it to market, what will occur then is that the existing situation will be perpetuated and the illegal trade in psychoactive substances will boom," he said.

The use of synthetic drugs in New Zealand has been linked to psychosis, renal failure and heart failure, as well as an 18 per cent seizure rate among users.

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NEWS

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Moaning and Loaning Students allowed to wince at allowances Sophie Boot

The Green Party has announced a private member’s bill to reinstate postgraduate student allowances, which were terminated by the Government in the 2012 Budget.

Holly Walker, the Green Party spokesperson for tertiary education, has drafted the bill in an attempt to remedy what she calls a “short-sighted policy”.

This comes in response to Official Information Act figures which show a significant decline in postgraduate enrolments across New Zealand for the 2013 academic year.

“Removing postgraduate allowances shows the Government’s disregard for higher education. National is wasting the potential of some of the best and brightest people in New Zealand by limiting higher education to those who can afford it,” said Walker.

The OIA figures show that Auckland’s postgraduate enrolments have dropped 7.1 per cent this year, while Otago’s have dropped even further, by 8.5 per cent.

Between 4000 and 5000 postgraduate students became ineligible for the Student Allowance due to the changes.

Joyce disagrees that the change in allowance eligibility has created a barrier to wouldbe postgraduate students, saying it is more likely students are choosing to enter the job market as employment rates increase.

"The Greens are completely wrong, and once again they're just leaping to a political solution, which is spending more money."

At the time the allowance was removed, Joyce stated his aim was to rebalance the Government’s overall tertiary education spend, “between expenditure on student support and investment in tuition and research”.

As the Bill is a private members’ bill which does not have Government support, it is unlikely to gather the support necessary to pass should it be drawn from the ballot.

The Government predicted that the change would save $33 million over four years.

This cost has effectively been passed on to students, who now must borrow living costs under the student-loan scheme. Expenditure on tertiary education in 2010/2011 was $620 million, which Joyce called a “blowout … due in part to policy settings of the previous government”.

Minister for Tertiary Education Steven

still not enough

$

5000 STUDENTS

$35 - transport $25 - expenses $50 - food

students now have to borrow $171 weekly from the student loan scheme

A 2010 report by the Ministry of Education and Statistics New Zealand found that graduates with a doctorate go on to earn salaries almost 50 per cent higher than those with bachelor degrees.

$160 - rent

The next private members’ bill ballot is likely to be on 16 May.

AFFECTED BY THE CHANGES

POST GRAD ENROLMENTS SINCE THE STUDENT ALLOWANCE CHANGES

AUCKLAND -

AVERAGE ANNUAL EARNINGS FOR SOMEONE WITH...

7.1% BA

6.2% - VICTORIA

D E G RE E NO

$25K

8.5% - OTAGO 8

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$37K 4 8 % in

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PO

D ST GRA DEGREE

$51K

 NEWS

Green Light For Students Salient’s Sophie Boot talks to

Green MP Holly Walker This is a private member’s bill that’s being proposed, not a Government bill, so do you personally have a strong interest in the issue?

Are there other obstacles that you think that the Bill will face?

I do have a strong personal interest in it, both because I’m the Green Party student spokesperson, so obviously it’s very relevant to my portfolio, and I have been a postgraduate student, and I know the financial constraints that postgraduate students face, but also the benefits that they are likely to bring to New Zealand if they are able to stay in New Zealand. I think it’s very short-sighted to make it more difficult.

I think that [finding support] would be the main one. It would be great if it passed the First Reading and could be sent to a select committee so that we could look at that evidence in detail and work through the details of the Bill, but we’d have to cross that bridge when we come to it. But I think that there is a value in having it debated even in a First Reading only, which is really that it forces the Government to articulate its reasons for continuing this short-sighted policy.

You’ve said you hope that Parliament will debate and vote on allowances again; how do you see the vote falling?

Do you think the graduate exodus is indicative of underlying issues with New Zealand’s tertiary-education system?

Realistically, it doesn’t have a high chance of passing because the Government is very unlikely to support it, as it would mean a direct change to their policy. But I would hope that they would at least have to articulate good reasons for voting against it if they were in the position of having to do so, particularly now that we’ve got the beginnings of evidence showing that the change has resulted in dropping postgraduate numbers across the country. I think new information … suggests that it’s having very harmful effects.

I think it’s certainly contributing to that phenomenon; I’ve had quite a lot of correspondence from students or people who were potential students but who haven’t become students because of this change, including several from people saying they were looking at a large number of options for postgraduate study and have ended up choosing to study overseas because of the lack of financial support that’s available to them in New Zealand.

We’d also talk to all of the parties in Parliament; the Government probably has enough as it has support arrangements with other parties, though they’re not bound to vote with the Government on things like this, so if it was drawn and we were in that position we would certainly be talking to all the parties in case, using the evidence that’s come to light.

I think what we’re likely to see with this change is that the people most likely to either drop out of their studies partway through, or choose not to study at postgraduate level because they have no access to student allowance, are going to be those people who don’t have independent financial means of their own.

People from lower-income backgrounds, particularly Māori and Pasifika, are likely to find this more of a barrier to them doing postgraduate study. I think that could introduce a very disturbing trend into our patterns for postgraduate study, that we see only those who have independent financial means or who fit the demographic of a well-off postgraduate student engaging at that level of study. It shouldn’t be an elite pursuit.

When these changes were made, the Government said they would save $33 million over four years. Were this Bill to pass, where would you see the funding coming from?

The Student Allowance was meant to help people with deprived backgrounds into undergraduate study. Should older students get this form of support if that was never the intention of the policy?

In some ways it’s not a new cost, it’s one that was there until very recently and, in my view, should never have been removed from the Budget.

Yes, it would mean reinstating that expenditure of around $33 million over four years. It’s not a huge amount of money in the scheme of government expenditure and also in the scheme of tertiary education and student support. In my view, it’s justified expenditure.

The way I interpret the intention of the Student Allowance is to increase access to tertiary education.

The full interview transcript can be read at salient.org.nz

Salient contacted United Future Leader Peter Dunne, Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce, and Labour Tertiary Education Spokesperson Megan Woods for comment on Holly Walker's private members' bill.

Megan Woods said that without having seen the Bill, "I can't see a reason why [Labour] would not support it", but that Labour's policy on student allowances has not changed since the 2011 election. The 2011 Party manifesto stated "Labour will resume expanding eligibility to the student allowance scheme", provided economic conditions improve.

A spokesperson for Steven Joyce reiterated that Government’s opposition to any Bill proposing the changes, citing the “dramatic” increase in Government expenditure on student allowances: “in recent years [spending has increased] from $385 million in 2007/2008 to $620 million in 2010/11—a 62 per cent increase—and this is simply not sustainable”. The spokesperson said National is aiming to focus allowances on students from low-income families and those in the early years of study, the “original intent” of the allowance policy. Joyce’s spokesperson blamed “a number of factors” for the decline in enrolments, stating that more people would move into the workforce than pursue post-graduate study as the economy picks up while mentioning there may be “some people that chose not to participate in post-graduate study if a very generous student support scheme is made slightly less generous”.

Peter Dunne did not respond by the time Salient went to print. 9

NEWS

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THREATENING LETTERING Can’ta Joke Be Made Anymore?

Alex Lewin

The University of Canterbury’s student magazine, Canta, is defending its decision to publish a threatening letter to parents and police alike.

The anonymous letter, published on 20 March, contains a rant about aspects of university life, including students who wear camouflage to school. Police requested the name of the letter writer after a complaint from a student’s parent. Their request was declined by the University of Canterbury Students’ Association (UCSA), who cited privacy grounds.

The letter reads: “The above things are slowly transforming me from a Gandhi-like character to the kind of guy who is going to walk into James Hight [the University Library] one day with a fully-loaded automatic assault rifle and unload my anger into you”.

Police say the letter was a response to a request from Canta for more provocative content, something the magazine addressed

in a statement posted to their website.

“The palpability and/or appropriateness of Canta content is subjective. As a student magazine Canta seeks to reflect student culture, inspire debate, and inform our students.”

The threat only came to the attention of the University, and subsequently Police, when a concerned mother complained to the University.

Police university liaison officer Senior Constable Ken Carter said he understands how people could feel anxious, especially given recent events like the Boston bombing.

However, he was confident there was no threat to the University after talking to the letter-writer, who made themselves known to police on the advice of UCSA. "He was very apologetic for writing the letter. He had no understanding of the repercussions it would cause," said Carter.

Last week, Salient received an identical

letter mentioning a threat to Rankine Brown, the Victoria library. The decision was made not to publish the letter as the author did not provide contact details.

Model Behaviour Vic students put the ‘tec’ in Architecture Simon Dennis

Cuba St, the iconic main artery for hipsters and café-goers alike, requires some construction upgrades to earthquake-proof the area, according to Victoria University students.

A ten-metre-long model designed and built by Architecture students was on display at the Wellington Rocks! earthquake safety expo in late April. The model represented what the red-bricked street could resemble in the year 2035.

Developments over the next 20 years would include the typical courtyards and side streets that characterise Cuba St. The stability of 40 or so buildings would be vastly improved, however. Under the students’ model, the space remains a heritage area, with the old-style building façades kept. The addition of unsightly, mostly student-based apartment buildings will be avoided.

Unfortunately for some of the classic spots, Director of the Architecture programme at Victoria University Mark Southcombe is not optimistic.

“You wouldn’t be able to maintain many of the [smaller] tenants who make Cuba St what it is,” he said.

This may endanger popular smaller retailers such as Pegasus Books and Hunters and Collectors.

The main idea behind the model was to prove that it is possible for these developments to take place while still retaining the character of the popular street, Southcombe explained.

“It’s absolutely feasible… collaboration is the key; the public, council and building owners have to work together.”

Cuba St has been a Wellington institution since 1840, when it was named after settler ship the Cuba.

10 

 NEWS

UNI PROBES STUDENT BODY Students experience survey by completing student experience survey Chloe Davies

Whether you like or dislike Victoria, now is your chance to tell the University with an annual survey being emailed out last week.

The Student Experience Improvement Survey gathers quantitative and qualitative data on students’ experiences and the University’s services.

The voluntary survey asks students to give feedback and rate their experiences on a scale ranging from ‘Very Poor’ to ‘Very Good’, and ‘Strongly Disagree’ to ‘Strongly Agree’. The purpose of the survey is to provide students with the opportunity to share their views on which services and facilities enable successful

this week's

learning, and on what needs to be improved at Victoria.

A wide range of topics are covered, including Blackboard; student health services; counselling; financial aid; accommodation; cafés and food; clubs and organisations; the marae; retail outlets; social spaces; sport and recreation, and student media.

A summary of the results will be published on the University website later this year, and used to improve and tailor University services.

Student ID card process; the opening of the Hub; the creation of the Vic Info Ihonui information desks; an online admission process for PhD students; and a new search engine on their website.

The survey closes at 5 pm on 10 May. Students who complete the survey go in the draw to win one of 20 $100 New World vouchers, or one of two iPads. The University recommends students check their spam folder for the email. Any queries can be directed to studentsurvey@vuw.ac.nz.

From the results of last year's survey, the University has made improvements to the

ions

iPredict is a prediction market run by Victoria University. The markets cover hundreds of topical political, economic, and social issues. Users can bet real money against each other. and the process generates publicly available predictions which have been shown to be more accurate than polling. Check out Salient next week for an introduction to Victoria's very own TAB, and how you can double your course-related costs!

Labour to win Ikaroa Rawhiti By-Election

86%

Maurice Williamson to stand for Mayor of Auckland

John Minto to be elected Mayor of Auckland

Liberal Party to win the next Australian General Election

National Party to win the next General Election

70%

89%

2%

52%

 11

NEWS



eye on exec Molly McCarthy

VUWSA, obviously learning from past Eye on Exec columns, were notably restrained last week, running a tight ship when it came to their Monday night meeting.

Vice-President (Engagement) Mica Moore floated her plans to boost live music at Victoria as part of the Engagement Portfolio. After the disappointments that were O Weeks ‘12 and ‘13, the Exec are no strangers to the fact that VUWSA needs to up its game in terms of event-hosting if it hopes to remain relevant and worthwhile in the eyes of the student body.

Moore explained the logistics and pros/cons of both small and large music events. Although running costs and risks associated with a large gig are high, VUWSA are somewhat bound to deliver, as “Rory promised it,” noted Moore, with a sigh. “We can’t promise [a big gig] in July, because what if Beyoncé’s not around

12 

in July?” The Exec eventually voted to pass the motions to support the plans, allowing VUWSA to spend up to $25,000 to organise and run a gig featuring an international act this year (if deemed likely to be successful enough to run a profit).

Wellbeing and Sustainability Officer Rick Zwaan ran the Exec through the upcoming Environment Week, and urged Exec members to do their best to attend events and get their friends along too. “Even if you can just click attending and invite your friends so they think you’re going.”

The Exec then discussed the issue of McCourt’s upcoming holiday leave: a US junket. Over the mid-year break McCourt will be attending a programme for global young leaders and also take the time to visit students’ associations in Canada. Unfortunately the

holiday didn’t turn out to be quite the scoop Salient had hoped for, as the trip will not be funded in any way by VUWSA, and McCourt has yet to decide whether he will even file work reports for the trip. As McCourt assured the Exec that he would be available for expert advice and crisis support during his sojourn, and have his iPhone on him “at all times”, Salient was left wondering: which one?

CORRECTION: The previous edition of Eye on Exec implied that the 2013 Executive is not as open as 2012. This is incorrect. The column meant to explain that up until 2012 the Executive's governance was not particularly transparent.

This improved drastically in 2012, and these improvements have been carried on to this year.

 NEWS

UNIVERSITY FUNDING CUTS Cuts to trees, that is Chris McIntyre

In one fell swoop, a number of large pine trees were Rimu-ved from Mount St last week.

Mount St was closed for the best part of two days, meaning students on their way to or from town had to branch out and use different roots.

“There wasn’t mulch we could do but go a different way,” one student said, after twigging on to the trunk-ated accessway.

our day somewhere else, wood you believe it.”

The mess was cleared up by Thursday. When Salient went to investigate the remnants, we only saw dust.

The University is not thought to be arboring any desires for further tree work.

The noise from the arborists’ chainsaws disturbed a number of students around the Student Union Building area. The saws had a very distinct timbre, meaning many students in the vicini-tree log-ged off their computers and were forest to work elsewhere.

“Needles to say, I was barking mad. We had to leaf because of the noise and Kauri on with

have got under the skin of the girls far more than any tattoo ink ever will.

CHROFLIS MCLOLNTYRE

MARS COCK UP

BETTER LETTER THAN NEVER

In August 2012, NASA successfully put the Curiosity rover on Mars. Since then, Curiosity has been hard...at work collecting scientific data. However, that’s just the tip of Curiosity’s work: it has also created NASA’s newest Martian member, with a suspiciously phallic photo of the rover’s tracks released last week. NASA has claimed the shape was “entirely accidental”. Salient suspects that this is a phallusy; given the shape of most NASA rockets, there is obviously an underlying fixation with large penile constructions.

OH BUMMER It’s bad news for the Obama daughters, as father and President of the United States Barack Obama has put an effective veto on any potential tattoos the girls may want. Obama said he told Malia and Sasha “if you guys ever decide you're going to get a tattoo, then mommy and me will get the exact same tattoo, in the same place, and we'll go on YouTube and show it off as a family tattoo”—a statement sure to

The new Italian Government has been sworn in at the Presidential Palace in Rome. While former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is still a minister, the swearing-in ceremony did not include him swearing he didn’t hire prostitutes.

In other mosque-based fear news, mosquitoes are even more dangerous in sub-Saharan Africa, as researchers have found that the parasites responsible for malaria are becoming resistant to the most common anti-malarial drug.

“This really shrubbed me the wrong way.

Somalia has struck a deal with the United Nations postal agency, meaning the war-torn nation may have a functioning mail service for the first time in over 20 years. Most houses do not have numbers, only main roads have street names, and there are no functioning post offices in the country, vast swathes of which are controlled by insurgents linked to Al-Qaeda. No news yet as to how this will affect Salient’s letters section.

As 100 inmates continue their hunger strike, Obama has renewed his vow to close Guantanamo Bay. In other world news, Kim Jong-un renewed his vow to exterminate the American serpent devil. Salient is unsure which will occur first.

The landing gear from one of the hijacked planes used by terrorists during 9/11 has been found in New York, prompting renewed calls on Fox News in opposition to an Islamic community centre near Ground Zero. While you can’t milk a cow for 12 years, it appears you can continue to milk 9/11.

“I’m pine-ing for the day we don’t have some annoying sound chipping away at our attention,” one frustrated student noted.

LOL NEWS

stay classy, world

Moments after the release of a new Government policy, hacks from both sides of the political spectrum finished their merit-based evaluation of the proposed scheme and confirmed their respective party lines. “It’s just what this country needs/doesn’t need,” spokespeople said.

headlines that weren't “Get Abreast the Monks”: Victoria University to become monastery Firefighters still fighting “very hilarious” blaze at relighting-candle factory Hubble telescope stolen?

“We’re looking into it,” say police Rapper waters garden with fine-ass hose Young criminal successfully graduates heist school

 13

POLITICS 

P O L I

left The Hot Topic

By Carla Marks So by this stage in history, we’re all pretty sure that climate change is a thing that is happening and it is a thing that we accelerated* and it is a thing that we should probably do something about. 'We' being every person that ever farted, used excessive amounts of Lynx in high school, or expressed a fondness for doing anything at any point in their life.

New Zealand in general is pretty attached to the idea that we are “clean and green”. This conviction, though potentially erroneously held, feeds into our national identity as a whole and means that we can assume the role of 'smug prick' at international climate summits. With over 70 per cent of our electricity being generated from renewable sources, and our staunch anti-nuclear stance, some would argue that this image is deserved. However, as the Prime Minister learned in an awkward interview with British media, the glean is beginning to wear off. As cows continue to fart, and our addiction to oil is perpetuated, our green image is becoming somewhat browny-black.

New Zealand (depending on what statistics you look at) now places in the top 20 greenhouse-gas emitters per capita in the world. We’re a gassy bunch. As our international image starts to waver, perhaps we need to take a closer look at our climate change policies.

A lot of the climate-change discussion in New Zealand centres around our international obligations under the Kyoto Protocol.

Basically, we agreed to reduce emissions to 1990 levels by 2012 and we were actually kind of awesome at that. However, the current Government failed to sign on for the next round of targets ending in 2020, because what else would a clean, green country do? The reason given for this decision was that the Kyoto Protocol is ineffective without the buy-in of all major emitting nations (looking at you, United States and China).

Reasons not given for this decision include the reluctance on the part of the National Government to bring agriculture under the Emissions Trading Scheme (rural vote yo), or to upset their buddies in big business by imposing any kind of scheme that could see New Zealand reach its now non-existent goals.

At the time of the 2011 election, the Green policy was to sign onto the next round of the Kyoto Protocol and to convince the US to follow suit. Both National and Labour advocated a “leading role in international negotiations” with no commitment to sign back onto the existing framework. Funny that.

Of course, New Zealand can’t prevent global warming alone, but this is no excuse to give in without a fight. With R&D tax credits and a strategy to shift to 100 per cent renewable generation we can not only reduce our emissions, but also export our technologies, and create green jobs making New Zealand cleaner, greener, richer, and once again a courageous world leader.

If only our politicians were brave enough to agree. * A notable exception to this consensus being Christopher Monckton, classical architecture graduate and living example of the necessity of the proletariat’s violent overthrow of the aristocracy.

14 

letters from a young contrarian

By Cam Price

Just a bunch of Woffle Dear Reader, Winter is coming. Sunny days are becoming fewer and farther between.

It’s dark by six. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been finding it nigh on impossible to get up in the morning to make the mad, freezing dash to the shower. Jim Hickey’s on the telly every night telling me to rug up because it’s “cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey”. So it’s not surprising that many of us have warmly welcomed new Minister of Housing Nick Smith’s announcement that he has asked officials to report back to him on the feasibility of imposing a warrant of fitness on all rental housing. The WoF checks would ensure a house meets minimum standards of insulation, heating and air flow before it can be let out.

Considering the facts that 44 per cent of New Zealand’s rental properties are in poor condition and a third have inadequate heating (it’s as if our builders built homes exclusively in the summer sun, never thinking to install insulation for the winter), it sounds like a good idea for the Government to step in and force landlords to make the flats they own warmer and drier. But we should be wary of the fact that the implementation of minimum standards might very well lead to corresponding minimum prices that the poorest among us just couldn’t afford.

How so? Well, installing heat pumps and Pink Batts can be an expensive exercise for a landlord to engage in,

particularly when they have lots of houses. The cost of these renovations will likely be passed on to renters in the form of higher rents.

Not every rental house needs insulation.

For one, the level of insulation is dependent on a number of factors such as whether the rental property is in the middle of Auckland’s warm CBD or on the cold streets of Dunedin, and so a blanket minimum standard would be ridiculous.

Also, a lot of students consciously choose lower-priced, uninsulated properties so they can use their money in other places.

Enforcing a higher minimum standard, higher-minimum-price model would discriminate against these students by preventing them from making the tradeoff between wearing extra layers in a cold house to save money or paying more each week to be a bit warmer.

In effect, students and poor people, who make up a majority of the demand for rental housing, will be paying for the policy of upgrading homes. Why can’t the rich or the Government pay for it?

Well the Government kind of does. Its Heat Smart scheme, which subsidises the cost of insulation installation, largely offsets the problem of increased rents as landlords no longer face the cost of upgrading, but all that is happening is that the taxpayer is now having to shoulder the cost.

This policy sounds like a good idea, but we have to remember that one person’s ‘minimum standard’ is another person’s ‘just right’.

 POLITICS

T I C S

RIGHT Political Hipsters. The Fucking Greens

By Freddie Hayek

caption me!

Normally, the author of this column is content to take pot shots at the Labour party, as they are normally the largest threat to long-term Tory hegemony. Labour are, however, too weak to get back into government by themselves, and need Green support to take back the Treasury benches. Mulling on this thought, and the potential for Russel Norman to become the Minister of Finance/Minister for Screwing the Country with Crazy Policies, gave me the chills.

If you are fresh out of school, starting university and have never really earned your own money, joining the Greens seems like a great idea. You care about the environment, think Labour is past it (they are), and think John Key “like, totes hates dolphins”.

What nobody tells you is that the Greens are the equivalent of political hipsters.

Send us your best caption for this picture to editor@salient.org.nz, subject line: 'Caption Contest', by 5 pm Thursday.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER Best caption wins a free coffee at: "HEY CLINT, __________ __________"

"Hey Clint, can you print me $5? It's lunch-time."

WINNER: Congratulations MIRABELLE! We'll be in touch

Think about it. They attract only niche support. They support causes you have never heard of. They decry materialism, while at the same time they are content to show off their flashy, bourgeois tastes. They hate 'the man' and despise capitalism because they have never earned a dollar in their lives. They care about dolphins, the Earth Mother, and snails. You care about being able to buy groceries, having somewhere to live, and putting petrol in your car.

This political hipster outlook bleeds its way into the Greens’ lunatic policies. The Greens want to hit you in the pocket. Taxes will rise under a Labour-Green government to pay for all the things they will inevitably promise. 'Fiscal Conservatism' will be swear words. Your take-home pay will decrease. There will be new ecological taxes, and a capital-gains tax to decrease your inheritance from your parents.

about that coffee.

they said what!? @PeterDunneMP I'm having a bad day with PCs: I manslaughtered my home PC this morning, and my office has crashed. I better get off the IPhone! @tauhenare28 Mum #xfactornzs on! @williamson_nz Several opposition MPs wives have formally complained I was wrong in my Gay Marriage speech. They have woken up to find toads in their beds.

Agriculture, the backbone of the New Zealand economy, will be destroyed by any future Green government. Their agricultural policies include the end of genetically engineered crops, converting half our crops to organic, and ending free trade and foreign direct investment, which is lunacy. Not to mention shooting every second cow to reduce methane emissions.

The Greens effectively wish to destroy New Zealand’s huge advantage in global agriculture, the taxes from which pay for all the nice policies they like. In transport, they want to stop the construction of new roads, prioritise public transport over private (making us all slaves to bus/train timetables), cycleways, and adding new layers of green tape to the RMA. All this is okay if you are a quinoa-loving, bicycle-riding, trustfund baby who lives in Kelburn. For the rest us, who live in reality, all these policies would be a disaster.

The Greens. Bad for you, bad for me, bad for the economy, and very fucking bad for New Zealand.

 15

CAMPUS DIGEST



CAMPUS DIGEST YOUR STUDENTS’

ASSOCIATION

Enviro Week Calendar

Monday 6th May 5.30pm Memorial Theatre tittle: “Your Future is Electric” description: ‘Race around on an electric bike and discover the inner workings of an electric car!

In this presentation, Jace Hobbs will explain New Zealand’s unique opportunity to capitalise on sustainable transport initiatives.

Brought to you by Generation Zero.’

Tuesday 7th May 11am Kumutoto restoration site by the Squash Courts. Native Restoration Project. Come down and help restore a native ecosystem in the heart of our city.

Bring your mates! Brought to you by the Society for Conservation Biology.

1pm SU217 Community Garden Workshop. Come along and find out how we can create a community garden on campus. With support from the Sustainability Trust Wednesday 8th May

Salient Rates Best ways to get around the University’s new smokefree policy 16 

Wednesday 8th May 1pm Hub Fairer Fares Forum.

A fair discount on bus fares for tertiary students – we’re campaigning for it. Have your say and get involved at this public meeting!

Thursday 9th May 1pm SU217 What climate change looks like. Hear from 350 Aotearoa and others on how our climate is changing and what we can do about it.

Friday 10th May 1pm Student Union Atrium Fairtrade my Vic. We want Vic to be the first Fair Trade University in New Zealand, and the race is on! See how many bananas you can chomp through to win an All Good prize pack full of Fair Trade goodness, and register your support for this VicIDS campaign.

1. Go onto the footpath by the roads surrounding Vic’s campuses, it’s public land (Cobblestone Park at Te Aro is also free game)

Beautiful Creatures Adam Art Gallery’s launched its latest exhibition last Friday, proudly opening the doors to Beautiful Creatures. The collection compiles the works of American director Jack Smith, Australian photographer Bill Henson, and New Zealand artist Jacqueline Fraser, who have each focussed on the youthful body as a subject of their works.

The exhibition, which runs until 7 July, is accompanied by Evening Flix, a film series co-presented with Salient(!) and the VBC. All films will be screened in the Memorial Theatre, Student Union Building, at Vic’s Kelburn Campus. Tickets are $5, including refreshments in the Adam Art Gallery from 5pm, films starting at 6pm.

The first screening is Derek Jarman’s Caravaggio (1986), a part biopic/part homage to 16th Century Italian artist Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio. Wednesday 8 May.

2. Don’t inhale

3. quit

4. 20

 CAMPUS DIGEST

get amongst "the best"

Sammy Tottenham Overheard @ Vic: The most annoying fire alarm I have ever heard.

Overheard @ Vic:

Jessica Rose Earl

David Cheng

Overseen @ Vic - PHIL 123 lecturer first auctioning off two chocolate Freddo's and then proceeding to encourage the winning student to eat them and an entire bowl of Freddo's at the front of the class. Matilda and the cake scene?

Overheard @ Vic: LAWS 121 students crying because they got their test results back.

Caryl Alyssa

GOING UP Resentment toward Elle Woods.

She made it look way easier to get through law school than your LAWS121 Terms Test results indicate.

Aaron Gilmore’s name recognition ratings

Alice Lawn Overseen @ Kelburn campus bus stop: Girl walking past with a bunny in her arms.Two minutes later: Another girl walking past with a small fluffy dog in her arms.Is it Bring Your Pet to Uni Day...?

Overseen @ Vic, NOT the Salamanca crossing cat since before Easter! Does anyone know what happened to this guy?

Passive aggressive notes on your fridge. It's that time of the year.

WIN! We have two $50 vouchers for Good Luck and San Francisco Bath House to give away! To go in the draw, head to surveys.researchnz.com/ HospitalitySurvey to share your thoughts on Wellington's night life. Once you're done, send a screenshot of the final page of the survey to editor@ salient.org.nz before 5pm, Sunday 12 May.

Health tip #

9

Get a Free Flu Shot before Winter!

an apple a day

Influenza can keep even young and fit university students in bed for a week or more preventing them from attending lectures, writing essays or even reading. This is because influenza is a serious viral infection with symptoms such as a

5. buy up large on space men candy sticks

high fever, muscle aches, shivering and headaches.

Immunisation is one of the best forms of protection as it helps improve your body's defence against influenza.

Free influenza vaccination clinics for students will be held in the Student Union Building on the Kelburn campus this week between 11.30am and 1.00pm on Monday 6, Wednesday 8 and Thursday 9 May If you have any questions regarding the influenza vaccine please contact the Student Health Service, visit www.fightflu.co.nz TXT FLU to 515 or call 0800 466 863

GOING DOWN

The cube. First-year architecture students don't want to see one of those shapes ever, ever again.

Maki Mono's range. Fried chicken sliced six different ways in your bento box.

Two second snap chats. Not even enough time to take in a dick-pic.

Weekly health advice provided by the staff at Victoria’s Student Health, Student Counselling and Physiotherapy Services.

ask the magic 8 ball

It’s cold. Can I just wear my onesie to class?

YES

Kirk Evacuated: Campus Care has the last laugh; plans a fire drill on a rainy day

 17

NEWS FEATURE FEATURES • ϟ

yes

By Rick Zwaan Congratulations! If you made it to Uni today and picked up this glorious publication, then you’ve made it past one of the biggest barriers to study: transport.

If you’re lucky then you probably donned your raincoat and battled the Wellington wind to make it here in a glamorous fashion. Or you may have jumped on your single-speed and ridden from Newtown before terminating on The Terrace as sweat engulfs you. Don’t get me wrong, I fully endorse modes of transport which keep us active when they’re safe and practical.

We all know that Kelburn landlords make a killing off those of us lucky enough to find a flat near uni, while the rest of us are forced to live further and further out of the CBD. So, if you’re like the majority of students, then you would’ve been stripped of your lunch money as you boarded the bus or train to get you over the terrain to class.

Public transport in Wellington is simply too expensive and tertiary students need fairer fares now.

This campaign is primarily about how we can make tertiary study as accessible as possible. I’ve talked to hundreds of fellow students over the past months who tell horror stories of going hungry as they are forced to prioritise paying to get to labs over eating lunch. $172 in student-loan living costs is not nearly enough to pay for rent and expenses, let alone food and travel.

Even those on an allowance with living costs struggle as $210 is gobbled up just as quickly. One option would be to increase student debt to pay for the essentials. Is that fair? I don’t think so. Nor is it smart.

include tertiary students would allow thousands more bright minds access to higher education in our region. It would also save us precious coin to spend on essentials. This decision would also help develop the region as we wouldn’t be confined to the CBD when it comes to finding those scarce part-time jobs.

Our elected representatives need to take leadership.

We should be fostering a community that values talent instead of endorsing poverty. While New Zealand's biggest city, and hundreds globally, get along fine with tertiary fares we’re left paying the same as yo-pros on Lambton Qy. If we want to reduce congestion and the costs of roading, then we need to incentivise public transport. It’s about taking action to move a vision for a vibrant Wellington forward.

In a time where it’s clear that climate change will have huge impacts on not only our region but the world, it’s crucial that we promote climate-friendly modes of transport. It’s great to have an efficient low-carbon public transport system, but what’s the use of it if cars continue to dominate? About 15 per cent of students get to uni in a private car which, in upfront costs, is currently cheaper than the train or bus. If it was cheaper to use public transport then we would not only see reduced congestion but a significant reduction in our carbon footprint.

The arguments for fairer fares are clear. It’ll help you get to uni and be able to eat lunch. It’s good for attracting and retaining talent in our region, and it will lead to a better environment with fewer cars, less carbon and more intelligent minds in classes.

Wellington Regional Council has the power when it comes to alleviating this burden placed on the future talent of our region and country. A simple decision to extend the current high-school concession to

response to

Maybe "public transport in Wellington is simply too expensive", but someone has to pay for it. Most students aren't surviving on their Student Loan living costs. They’re doing okay, so they should pay their fair share. The Council shouldn't divert money away from other projects (like social housing) to help wealthier students out.

yes

18 

The 15 per cent of students who drive to university might do so because their home isn't well-serviced by public transport or because they like to study late at the library. We doubt a student discount will encourage these students to live a car-free lifestyle. Anyway: buses emit carbon too.

head to fairer Should the Greater Wellington Regional Council introduce tertiary concession fares for all public transport in the region?

ϟ • FEATURES

no

By Tyrone Barugh and Wilbur Townsend

o head: r fares The Fairer Fares campaign, launched

by VUWSA in March this year, aims to get a tertiary concession for all public transport in the Wellington region.

Led by Wellbeing and Sustainability Officer Rick Zwaan, the campaign has already been well-received by a number of students, with more than 1500 signing petition postcards, and over 200 emailing councillors through the campaign’s website.

The campaign needs the support of the majority of Wellington Regional Council's 13 councillors in order to be successful.

VUWSA is the key organisation funding the campaign, and has put $10,000 towards the cause so far.

As students, we’ve got it pretty good. University students disproportionately come from wealthy backgrounds, and purely by virtue of our qualifications we’ll go on to earn more than our less-educated friends.

The Government pays most of our study costs and lets us borrow the rest interest-free. If we do come from a poorer background, the Government gives us enough money to live off. In a country – not to mention a world – with real and crippling poverty, we’re doing okay.

In that context, it’s absurd to plead that all students deserve discounted public transport. We are both students. While our incomes are lower than full-time workers, we don’t have families to raise or doctor’s bills to pay. We buy booze most weeks because we’re lucky enough to have some discretionary income.

We don’t mind borrowing to live because we’re confident that, like most university graduates, we’ll end up earning much more than minimum wage a few years after finishing uni. Like most students, of course we’d appreciate a few dollars less on our bus fares – that’s more money to blow on shots in town. But any suggestion that the Government should prioritise our welfare over the hundreds of thousands who are genuinely struggling stinks of elitism and privilege.

Of course, not all students can afford to spend as much as we do on beer. Some can't afford to take the Campus Connection either, even when it's pissing down. VUWSA are right to want to help this minority of students. A blanket student discount isn’t the way to do that. Perhaps VUWSA could campaign to have the Government support low-income students more. If we have to make public transport cheaper, then maybe we could introduce a discount for Community Service Card-holders – that way, wealthy students wouldn’t be eligible while those non-students who need a discount would be eligible. Lobbying for support for all students and students alone is simply selfishness.

The Fairer Fares Forum, a public meeting to discuss the campaign, will be held in the Hub on Wednesday 8 May at 1pm.

More information and a form to submit your view to Wellington Regional Councillors can be found at fairerfares.org.nz

Bullshit. Me and my flatmates definitely don’t feel privileged when we live in mould cause we can’t afford the power bill. In fact, we are among the hundreds of thousands who are struggling. The Community Services Card is there for those that need it and you know what? 90 per cent of students are entitled to one.

Additionally, ‘fairer fares’ ignore the financial difficulties of students who live closer to town. It seems unfair to only help those students who live farther away from uni, but the problem isn’t just one of fairness. Cheaper transport encourages a more sprawling student community because living away from campus becomes cheaper. For some people, flatting out in Hataitai or the Hutt will be a viable option in a way that it wasn’t before. We don’t personally have a problem with people who want to live out in the suburbs, but to encourage students to do so seems like an odd policy priority.

For one, compact cities are environmentally friendly cities.

When people live closer to the important places in their life they rely less on day-to-day transit. Currently, on-peak buses are packed, so more demand for public transport will require more services. That means more diesel burnt, more carbon emitted and a worse outlook for our environment.

The ‘fairer fares’ proposal unfairly burdens our planet.

Further, sprawling students means a sprawling student community. We think it’s really nice to live in Aro Valley, to only have to walk five minutes down the road when we go to parties and to be able to catch up with mates without too much effort. There’s an inescapably geographical element to community, and in Wellington we’re lucky. Other places don’t have it this good.

Aucklanders (who have student discounts on public transport) don’t have any real student community; people typically commute into campus from as far away as the Shore or Mt Eden. It would suck to live like that – a half-hour commute just to grab a beer with some mates. Dense cities are simply nicer to live in.

We love that Wellington is so compact. We can walk or bike everywhere; our friends are our neighbours and our favourite haunts are just down the street. We should celebrate that. We don’t understand why VUWSA wants to sacrifice that compactness in the name of helping students who, for the most part, already have it pretty good. Truly fair fares are ones in which students pay their fair share.

response to

It would be great if we lived in a city that had affordable healthy flats in the CBD. Not sure if you’ve noticed, but Wellington doesn’t.

Fairer Fares will have a huge impact on our ability to feed ourselves, create equal access to education and increase the efficiency of our publictransport system.

no

 19

NEWS FEATURE

sounding out the student voice: part one

By Stella Blake-Kelly

“Established on the principle of partnership between students and staff ” to ensure “a strong and scholarly community,” Assistant Vice-Chancellor (Academic) Associate Professor David Crabbe told the Academic Board over a year ago.

He went on to explain the Student Forum as “a place for the student voice to be heard, and thus one place for the partnership to be enacted” and rejected claims that it was intended to replace VUWSA. It’s been one and a half years since the Student Forum was passed by the University Council, and in that time—and despite over $100,000 budgeted for it—the Forum is yet to get off the ground and live up to the expectations of what was promised.

With VUWSA, Ngai Tauira and Pasifika Students’ Council’s withdrawing in April; the failure of the University to organise (a mere) 20 students to take part since, and six student seats on the Academic Board and one on the University Council sitting empty, the University’s representational body is— quite frankly—a clusterfuck.

So, what’s the problem? What is wrong with the Forum, and what is going to be done to fix it? Herein lies a quagmire, where absent leadership and ineffective management is letting student and bureaucratic politics waste countless hours of time and resources.

Depending on who you talk to—whether they are currently or were a student representative, on the University pay-roll, are talking off-the-record, or even what day it is, it’s always a different opinion. Such differing understandings—or rather the absence of one altogether—has plagued the Forum from ever getting off the ground, since it was implemented as a result of Voluntary Student Membership (VSM) in 2012. Meeting after meeting didn’t result in much that was worthwhile. Did the fault

20 

lie with those who sat in the (allocated but barely ever completely filled) 35 seats? A little, but how can you say someone’s work is not up to scratch if you don’t give them a job description? Questions of confusion, of why they were there, what they were meant to do, meant forum members felt like they couldn’t do whatever it was that the University expected them to. As responsibility for the Forum was tossed amongst senior management like a hot potato, inconsistencies across staff amplified confusion. The student voice, which was was previously channeled through VUWSA, became fragmented with VUWSA having to compete and justify its mandate against repgroups whose only purpose is to advocate for small sub-sections of the student community.

The University had created a parliament in which only one party was forced to count its votes.

for fear of what would happen to funding should they not participate in what the University intended for the student voice.

‘Acting in good-faith’ was the justification repeatedly thrown around.

Adjusting to the new relationship-dynamics at play between VUWSA and the University only raised more questions. Whether it was malice; incompetence; not wanting to step on each other’s toes; being too nice, or being too mean, no constructive solutions to the problems that were plaguing the Forum and student representation eventuated.

2013 rolled around, and a new VUWSA Executive came in. After weeks of back and forth, round and round back-room discussions with the University, they eventually decided to leave, along with Ngai Tauira and Pasifika Students’ Council. A review of the Forum was always intended to occur later this year; VUWSA has managed to persuade management to extend it to include student representation and consultation as a whole. Apparently.

In 2012 VUWSA raised concerns, restating what was said before the Forum was implemented in 2011, though there has been little evidence that the University has even attempted to address these concerns. ‘Wait and it will work out,’ was the advice (read: expectations) from the top of the University hierarchy. As compulsory student fees were redirected into the pockets of the University following VSM, VUWSA was scared of foe-turned-sugar-daddy Vic not funding its services which it could no longer fund itself.

The Executive at the time decided to stick with the Student Forum and keep the extent of its concerns confined to their offices,

They hoped to change it from the inside, pushing for consultation with students on how the Forum should function. After months of the University leaving its baby to find its feet, and failing miserably, the neglectful sugar-daddy took control of that consultation. It was disingenuous, and the questions gave the impression that the University really didn’t care what students thought of its Student Forum. There was no constructive substance to it, and quelle surprise, the results didn’t answer any of the student representatives’ questions and the Forum still didn’t know how or where it should walk.

Herein lies another problem: The University’s grip on transparency and student (and their representative groups) participation in this restructured student voice. No-one has engaged in genuine free and frank discussion with students about what they want, or think about how their voice should be structured. Who’s to say this review won’t turn out like the last?

Students did not have a genuine say in the reorganisation of their voice, and it failed.

Coincidence?

ϟ • FEATURES

THE STATE OF THE NATION An Interview with Jan Wright, Parliamentary Commissioner for the Environment

By Henry Cooke

I don’t like thinking about the environment. I accept that climate change is happening; I accept that it is terrifying; I accept that we aren’t doing enough to stop it; but it just seems like too much to deal with. We only just passed marriage equality.

Income inequality is getting worse. Women are still systematically and culturally oppressed. Chemical weapons are being unleashed on civilians in Syria.

An issue that is usually represented by a polar bear on some ice can only draw so much attention, yeah?

I really should though. We all should. Hell, take climate change out of the picture and there are still screeds of other issues threatening our Warner Bros filming locations. Many of us rallied against mining in national parks, but that issue was pretty easy to understand. Twitter isn’t aflame about changes to the Crown Mineral Act that weaken the power of the Minister of Conservation to stop mining on national parks. John Key’s Facebook page isn’t full of complaints about how terribly we are implementing the Emissions Trading Scheme. There are no street marches against the ‘balancing’ of the Resource Management Act (RMA)—the modification of our signature environmental law into an economic one.

It’s not just me either. Whenever the mass media does decide to cover an economic issue, it needs 'both sides of the story', often giving equal weighting to the economic interests affected. Now, this is understandable—it is called ‘fairness bias’

after all—but it often muddies the issue, turning everything into “the environment versus the economy” when the reality is much less conflictual.

These issues aren’t the easiest to understand, so luckily we don’t have to do all the understanding ourselves. In 1986 the Environment Act established the Parliamentary Commissioner for the Environment, “with the objective of maintaining and improving the quality of the environment.” This independent commissioner is both a researcher and a watchdog, producing reports for Parliament on a wide range of environmental issues and reviewing legislation that concerns the environment. While ostensibly only answerable to Parliament, the Commissioner often makes public remarks, seeking to draw media attention to issues that concern them. Dr Jan Wright is our current commissioner, beginning her second five-year term this year. She has a degree in Physics, a Masters in Energy and Resources, and a PhD in Public Policy from Harvard. She heads a staff of 16.

Independent scientific advice isn’t necessarily soft.

Dr. Wright has often been critical of our current National government, particularly when it comes to the changes they are making to the RMA. The hype around other m ore espionage-related embarrassments has kept the public eye away from these changes, which is somewhat understandable.

The RMA is somewhat of a lumbering beast, and

it certainly doesn’t translate well into headlines.

Created in 1991 by amalgamating several other laws, it polices the use of water, land and air, promoting sustainable development that respects the environment and local culture. Essentially, it protects the public and the environment from damage by any private interest. As you would imagine, the surveying and compliance process can be lengthy and expensive; an entire industry exists around RMA consultancy and litigation.

National campaigned on reforming the RMA in 2008, and carried out part of their plan in 2009, “simplifying and streamlining” the legislation.

This year, Minister for the Environment Amy Adams has released a much more dramatic discussion paper, proposing fundamental changes to the Act in the interest of “balance” with economic interests–introducing economic development measures into a law meant to combat them. Dr Wright wasn’t pleased, releasing a fiery press release asserting that the RMA “is not, and should not become, an economic development act."

As bombastic as it was, press releases are terrible to write about, so on a Monday morning last week I met with Dr Wright at her offices on the Terrace. Equipped with an adhesively backed name tag and a cup of coffee I was too nervous to drink, I sat facing her in a small room facing the city, a silent PR manager completing our triangle.

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INTERVIEW WITH JAN WRIGHT With degrees in both public policy and science, you are certainly qualified for this job. Do you feel that parliament adequately respects your advice?

My role is purely to make recommendations. In general I find the MPs —whether they be in government or not — give me a good hearing and are pretty respectful, though they’ll tell me if they don’t agree. Sometimes they do what I recommend and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes Government do pick up on what I recommend, sometimes opposition parties do and it becomes part of their policy; it’s a long term thing.

Is the RMA an environmental protection act?

Oh it’s our main environmental protection act.

That was its purpose. If you go back to what was said in Parliament when it was passed, this was about dealing with environmental externalities.

The Act is the balance to the imperatives of the marketplace - you shouldn’t be trying to put balance inside it.

‘Balance’ is a word that comes up often when discussing the RMA. In one of your submissions concerning these changes you were quite concerned about the degree of quantification mandated; is there a good way to quantify environmental impacts?

I don’t have a problem with quantification itself, I’m quite an advocate for it really. The concern with that submission was that when you’ve got a situation like that where some things can be reasonably easily quantified and some can’t, the ones that are easily quantified tend to be seen as more important, even if the numbers you come up with are rubbish. [Laughs] It looks more serious, it looks more real, just because it has numbers attached.

I’m more concerned about the changes to the beginning of the act.

What are your issues there?

They are putting economic development objectives in there. Worse than that, they are economic concerns of the day. One of them is really talking about Greenfields expansion

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in Auckland. It is fundamentally blurring, obscuring, making a mess of the RMA and its purpose. It’s not meant to be promoting particular kinds of economic development.

There is already a mechanism in the RMA called the National Policy Statement, it says if the Government, any Government, wishes to promote particular types of development, without care for the environment, they are free to do that.

Did the EEZ legislation need to be the “RMA of the Sea”?

I think that’s its purpose, and it’s not a bad way of describing it. Although there was a number of things I didn’t like about it, at least it was there - this legislation was a long time coming. The problem with that RMA interpretation is that the EEZ occurs outside of council boundaries, so you need to have the EPA enforcing it rather than the local councils.

[Nods] It’s also ridiculous - one of the purposes of the reform is to reduce costs, but when you make a change as fundamental as that you are going to need to develop a whole new body of case law, which will be very expensive. The whole RMA industry—the raft of lawyers and consultants who make their living off the RMA—they’re gonna be gearing up, they’re going to make a lot of money.

The other thing, sorry, you can cut this down, [Eds note: We did: full interview is online] are some of those descriptions, some subtle wording changes. They look harmless at first glance but really do diminish protection.

The National government campaigned on reforming the RMA, and have been elected twice.

Do they have a mandate for these changes?

You can ask that question about many things that governments do. Certainly there is frustration with the RMA, but I think that it has become somewhat of a whipping boy. When you ask people what their actual problem is, often it's a building consent, which is the Building Act not the RMA, or it’s the Public Works Act, or even the way the RMA is applied by someone in an over-the-top manner. That can happen with any legislation. The fundamental philosophical change is difficult for people to understand, and kind of boring for most people. It’s a big change, but it isn’t a change that would be widely understood.

What are some significaNt proposals or reports that you have put through that the government have responded well to?

One thing that I am very pleased with was the report on 1080. I didn’t have any background in that, and it was a surprise, that I found myself coming out as very pro - we need to use more of it. A couple of elections ago, two parties had a moratorium on 1080 in their party manifestos, and now they don’t.

Death by a Thousand Discussion Paper Cuts RMA changes - The Resource Management Act governs how we use our natural resources, aiming to protect ecological and cultural environments from reckless development. As you can imagine, negotiating it can be costly and lengthy, but that’s kind of the point. National “simplified and streamlined” the RMA in 2009, and have now released a discussion paper proposing further changes. These changes seek to ‘balance’ the RMA, giving economic concerns much more influence.

The role of central government is also greatly increased, allowing ministers to promote pet projects with more ease, despite provisions that give power to the central government already existing within the Act. EEZ/ECS legislation - The Exclusive Economic Zone is the large oceanic area surrounding New Zealand which we have the right to exploit economically. It is roughly 15 times the size of the country itself. New Zealand was granted control over this EEZ in 1994, so legislation governing it was quite a long time coming. When the legislation did come, however, it didn’t make the safety of the environment a requirement for development—reducing it to simply a factor to consider. After the assertion from Dr Wright that this in fact violated the terms of international law with which we were granted the EEZ, the Government backtracked, and the legislation that passed was much friendlier to environmental concerns. Minister for Energy and Resources Simon Bridges has recently proposed a change to the Crown Minerals Act which severely hinders the right of New Zealanders to protest in the EEZ.

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Shoddy implementation of the ETS Labour brought in the Emissions Trading Scheme in 2008, seeking to reduce carbon emissions. Under an ETS, polluters have a finite amount of ‘carbon credits’ they can spend on emitting carbon, or sell to other polluters on an international market. It’s not perfect, but it’s something.

National blunted the scheme considerably when they came into power, foregoing any absolute limit on emissions in New Zealand, postponing the requirement for agricultural industry to join indefinitely, and heavily subsidising other industries' carbon credits, at the taxpayers’ expense.

It is increasingly unlikely that New Zealand will reach its Kyoto obligations.

Mining on the conservation estate - You probably remember the hubbub around mining in national parks in 2009, when National announced plans to “stocktake” the mineral wealth in areas covered by Schedule 4 of the Crown Minerals Act. Schedule 4 protects about one third of the conservation estate from mining, even if the Minister of Conservation grants permission.

After much public opposition, National backed down on this specific plan. This year they quietly amended the CMA, splitting the permission-giving power for mining the other two-thirds of the conservation estate between the Minister of Conservation and the Minister of Energy and Resources.

Cutting DoC staff - The Department of Conservation maintains our conservation estate, and is the main go-to for tourists wishing to explore our vast natural heritage. 140 jobs were going to be lost in a restructure, but some extra funding has reduced this number to 80.

Should environmental protections trump any economic benefits the government sees in the EEZ? When we were given this “sea”, by the UN, in which we could fish and so on, it was given on the condition that we look after it. I don’t think “trump” is quite the right word - it’s the same model as the RMA - you can do this development PROVIDED you look after the environment.

A provision, rather than a balance?

Yes exactly, I think ‘balance’ is quite a tricky word.

One man’s balance is someone else’s imbalance.

On the topic of the sea, will deep– sea oil drilling [we already have some underwater oil drilling] ever be safe enough for New Zealand, or should we resist any move to become the ‘Texas of the south’ as one developer suggested?

a small population, and we haven’t been here very long, none of us. Not only does one of our biggest industries, tourism, rest entirely on our environmental credentials, it’s also our point of economic difference. I mean what else do we have? Oh yes, we have ‘number 8 wire’ or whatever, but that can happen in any country - this is our point of difference. It’s our identity as New Zealanders.

We should be able to do very well on the environment here.

Anything you do entails risks. Walking across the road entails risk. So it is a question of how much damage do you think could be done, and what you think the probability is. Judgments about that are very difficult. Oil, of course, does biodegrade.

When it comes to fossils fuels with me though, the issue is always climate change. That is the issue that ‘trumps’ everything else. It affects just about everything else. It’s really about our future and the future of many other things on this earth.

On climate change - is the Emissions Trading Scheme really the best solution?

Well, when it comes to using market instruments for environmental results, you have two basic models.

One of the them is ‘tax the bad thing’, like smoking or paying to dump your rubbish at the dump, all kinds of things. The other is to set a limit overall, and then allow trading, trading of the ‘right to pollute this much’. By taxing it through a price, you can incorporate it into your economic system.

The problem we have in New Zealand is the implementation. We have the right framework.

We now have a situation where the biggest carbon polluters pay only one-twentieth of their carbon costs. Carbon dioxide is always associated with energy consumption, and certain industries are clearly huge carbon emitters—cement and steel and things like that—they are only paying one-twentieth of it! The implementation is so weak, and once you let people off the hook like that, it’s very hard to bring them back in.

Do you think our government is responding in kind to climate change?

I think our response is very weak, and I think that’s very sad. I mean, we should be able to do very well on the environment here. We have

The ‘mining on national parks’ issue has disappeared from the spotlight somewhat; should we still be worried?

Well we’ve just had a change to the Crown Minerals Act with relatively little attention.

One of the things I said we shouldn’t change, in an earlier report, has now been changed - permission to mine on conservation land now being jointly given by the Minister of Conservation and the Minister of Energy and Resources. This achieves ‘balance’ somehow. For me, the Minister of Conservation is the guardian of the conservation estate, on behalf of New Zealanders, and how can that Minister be held accountable when someone else is making the decisions too? Who has the upper hand? I hope that change will be reversed at some point.

The biggest threat to the conservation estate is not mining, however; it’s pests.

Are there any other environmental issues you feel are not being talked about?

The thing that I worry about is they way our cities are expanding. With Auckland and the rebuild in Christchurch, we’re losing a lot of fertile soil.

Fertile soil is pretty precious. Things about the environment can be surprising. For example; one of the reports we put out from our office was about solar water heating, and how it wasn’t an especially good idea, there was better stuff you could do. Things get viewed as ‘the green thing to do’ but you can’t simply assume that. You need to dig under them and look at the science. thanks so much for your time.

Thank you.

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a job for

tomorrow

We are destroying the environment. We know this, yet societies around the world continue to fail to take any real action to improve the status quo. Why is it that, when it comes to the environment, we treat these issues as an inconvenient (but wholly uninspiring) truth?

By Patrick Hunn

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The seas are curdling and the soil is putrefying.

Animals are being made extinct with clinical precision and industrial efficiency. Our forests are burning and our lakes, rivers and streams are being poisoned. Landfills choke the earth and factories belch all manner of evil into the air. It’s all very dramatic, isn’t it? The environment means a lot to people, and it should. We only really get one go at it, after all. What is perplexing is the way in which we show our concern for it. While few people would argue that the polar bears should die, you don’t see great numbers of people abandoning their cars or governments turning coal plants off. The way societies the world over deal with the onslaught of ecological problems is, when you think about it, bizarre. There is something innately odd about acknowledging the problem on one hand and dismissing doing anything about it on the other.

Putting aside the (usually economic) difficulties that are often posed by environmental protection, why is this? Why do we struggle to engage with the issues relating to the environment? Our reactions do not seem to be proportionate to our knowledge of what it happening to the world, yet when the equation seems so straightforward, you’d think they should be.

THE RIGHT PR Consider the ‘hole’ in the ozone layer that we in the southern hemisphere have sitting over us. It is common knowledge that there is a dirty great big hole in the ozone, much of it over New Zealand. This is why we make school children wear those ugly wide-brimmed hats and why applying sunscreen is a national pastime. Before the depletion of the ozone was a recognised problem, there was a debate about whether or not it was actually a thing that was happening. Then, quite abruptly, there was a breakthrough and the 1987 Montreal Protocol, which aimed to repair the ozone by 2050, sprung into being in what then UN Assistant Secretary-General Kofi Annan called “the single most successful international agreement to date”. In her book Ozone Discourses: Science and Politics in International Environmental Cooperation, Karen Litfin argues that at the time, the scientific evidence of the degradation of the ozone layer was far from conclusive and certainly didn’t prove that whatever was happening to the ozone was due to chlorofluorocarbons. Rather, she says, it was the transformation of the way the ozone was understood that made this high-level political action possible. The ozone ‘hole’ is really a whole set of constantly changing fluctuations and depletions of the ozone layers, but when the idea of a hole in the atmosphere started being thrown around people panicked and did something about it.

This seems rather silly. While the ozone is better understood now, and the effect of human activity on it inarguably proven, it is galling that one of the most significant and successful movements in human history toward a more environmentally responsible world came about because it had good PR. Is this the only way for environmental issues to become legitimised politically? What exactly does it take?

CATASTROPHIC MEASURES Greta Snyder, a Political Science and International Relations lecturer at Victoria, has a wholly depressing answer: “I think the short answer to this question is: catastrophe.”

Snyder believes that ultimately the problem with environmental activism in general is that it is easy to position it in a way that is tertiary to other goals. The environment is a luxury, if you like.

Everything seems like it will happen in the future.

The ice caps might be melting, but they’re still there. For now.

“For any number of reasons (concerns about their career not least among them), elected representatives are reluctant to commit significant resources in the here and now to pre-empting a future problem.” In other words, investing in environmental issues isn’t usually a tangible way of proving to those who elect you that they’re getting a good investment on their vote. “Those resources should be put towards more immediate problems, they (and many of their constituents) say.”

Snyder also makes a point that many are familiar with; “with at least some environmental issues, many claim that they are not completely convinced that there will be a problem down the line. This is the case even with issues about which there is overwhelming scientific consensus, like climate change.”

But, Snyder argues, this extends beyond merely claiming that these effects aren’t proven. Rather, the way environmental issues are discussed journalistically gives weight to considerations that it probably really needn’t. “In a new book, After Broadcast News: Media Regimes, Democracy and the New Information Environment, communications scholar Bruce Western and political scientist Michael X. Delli Carpini argue that ambiguity about environmental issues like climate change has been encouraged by the media’s commitment to the ideal of ‘balanced reporting.’ Even with regards to issues in which the scientific evidence is overwhelmingly in favor of one position, the media gives time to “the other side” (i.e. climate-

change sceptics) to demonstrate objectivity. This has created the popular impression that there is less of an authoritative consensus about climate change than there actually is. And it promotes the view that maybe there isn’t a problem, in which case we would be needlessly sacrificing valuable resources. So, even when the scientific world is in agreement about something, it isn’t easy for an ordinary person to be certain about what exactly the consensus is.

Action is usually seen, therefore, when shit goes down. “These criticisms—'resources should go to more pressing issues' and 'this isn’t actually a problem'—are undercut when there is an environmental catastrophe that clearly and compellingly dramatises the costs (human, monetary, animal, etc.) of environmental problems. It is usually at this point that you see people in power making commitments to take political action.”

A DROP IN THE OCEAN But when it comes to the layperson, what, psychologically, controls our actions—or perhaps more appropriately, inactions—when it comes to the environment? Taciano Milfont, Senior Lecturer of Psychology at Victoria, offers three main reasons for the curious apathy experienced by many when it comes to the environment.

Firstly, Milfont agrees with Snyder in that of the “many psychological barriers to perceiving, understanding and acting upon environmental issues, these include [a] lack of perceived political action (which leads to a ‘wait-and-see’ approach), distrust in information sources, fatalism, a ‘drop in the ocean’ feeling, and the perception environmental issues like climate change are a distant threat.” In many ways, this is the effect of what Snyder has outlined for us. The mechanics of the way political prioritising and media reporting are set up innately transform the environment into this enormous, unwieldy, unfixable thing.

The second is straightforward, and is “what the Canadian environmental psychologist Robert Gifford calls ‘environmental numbness’. Robert argues that most people, most of the time, are simply thinking about other issues (work, study, friends and family, a big game) and not about environmental issues.” Especially in the case of most western societies, the adverse effect we are having on the environment isn’t immediately clear.

As such, the things that actually take up most of our time occupy more of our mental capacity.

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Lastly, Milfont points to the “…fear related to change and ‘the new’. This is because solutions to environmental problems are often viewed as threatening the existing social order.” One of the most terrifying things about the environment is that it does seem at times to be a little doomsdayish, because “tackling environmental issues may require changes in values, habitual behaviours, existing institutions, and the modus vivendi of the most powerful groups worldwide.” This might be the most convincing explanation of the way societies deal with ecological concerns: they’re just afraid. These problems are big, and the potential solutions all seem big as well.

THE SECRET TO SUCCESS While this might all paint a picture of a world where everyone is stricken with a fatal sense of powerlessness and hopelessness so potent that all they can do is quietly lie down on the street and wait for a car to run them over, that clearly isn’t the case. People are impassioned about the environment. In New Zealand we have a strong tradition of producing people of the environmentalist persuasion. And, moreover, there are successes. Animals have been saved from extinction, national parks established, and rivers cleaned up. What, then, has engendered these successes? Why do some causes fail dismally and some succeed?

Snyder says that some of the biggest successes the environmental movement has had are the smallest ones. “The environmental movement has been incredibly successful in getting people—even people who don’t consider themselves either activists or environmentalists—to make small alterations to their everyday lives (recycling, growing their own foods, using tote bags for groceries, etc.) that have significant environmental consequences. People today seem largely to be willing to take concrete action to further environmental causes, as long as the case can be made that these actions (however small) matter.”

This sort of behaviour, however, seems to be predicated on vanity more than anything else.

While KeepCups might be generally very good, they exist more as a sort of guilt-cleansing thing.

Snyder points out that guilt is sometimes the sole reason people engage with the environmental issues; “it… demonstrates the normative power of environmentalism. It is clear to me from my own experience that the ‘green’ ethos is increasingly regnant in the different places I’ve lived (the US, England, New Zealand). And I’ve

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noticed that, at this point, even people who are sceptical of the good of recycling do so because they would be embarrassed to be seen not doing so. Social movements 'win' by getting peer pressure on their side.” Environmentalism seems to be pretty good at this, at least.

Milfont says that our interest in things is generally limited to the extent to which they affect our lives. “…We tend to act when we think events/threats are psychologically closer.

This perceived reduced distance can occur in relation to predictability, location, time, and

an adorable koala bear in the middle of the ruins of what once was a forest, breaks your heart.

Climate change is much harder to translate in those terms sociality. That is, we are more willing to act when we think a given environmental problem is certain to occur here, in the near future, and to people similar to me.” That last point is the most interesting. When we talk about environmental issues we tend to adopt one of two modes of conversation. One is reserved for those we identify with, which instills a greater propensity for action; while the other is for those we pity but don't feel the need to take action over. When the discussion centres around, say, poor people in the Third World starving because desertification is slowly rendering their methods of food production useless, it is depicted as a very tragic thing. The conversation might just stop there. It’s a bit like when children are sternly told off for not cleaning their plates because “there are starving African children who would kill for that”. Acknowledgement is accompanied by inaction. If a similar thing happens in New Zealand, or a country analogous to it, we are more likely to think of it as a real tragedy, probably because we can see that we, too, could be affected by it one day.

Sometimes, success is dependent on putting a face to the story. “I do think that some issues are more difficult to frame than others,” Snyder says.

She believes that climate change, for instance, is difficult for people to buy in to because “it is very difficult to develop a frame in which 'severity', 'urgency' and 'efficacy' are held in a productive balance. Some climate change frames emphasise that this is a long-term process and that we still have time to act to counter the effects of climate change—but this undermines the sense that this issue is urgent and that we are at a point at which it is a severe problem. Other frames emphasise that climate change is going to fundamentally alter our way of life (for the worse) in the very near future, but these sometimes give the suggestion that this process is so far advanced that there is no reversing it. To compound the problem, climate change is a very complicated issue, where cause and effect is difficult to establish—and so it’s difficult to see how our sacrifices 'pay out' in the end.” Climate change, it would seem, is interpreted and depicted in such a colourful array of ways that it’s impossible for the person on the street to really understand what is true and what isn’t.

Other issues aren’t nearly so tortured. For instance, “…deforestation and wildlife conservation are easy translated through compelling images—an adorable koala bear in the middle of the ruins of what once was a forest, for instance. Breaks your heart. Climate change is much harder to translate in those terms. We do, however, see efforts being made—I’m thinking here of images of polar bears in their melting Arctic environments.” If it’s cute, we care.

The environment is a serious issue. What’s not so great is that people aren’t well-versed in interacting with it—and why would they be? The way society is structured is seemingly incompatible with the ways we engage with anything. The problems are too big, too staggeringly enormous. Moreover, there is something inherently inescapable about human self-interest. Outside of the limits of our own narrow lives we don't seem to be able to empathise or identify with anything strongly enough to take action, even when we acknowledge the importance of doing so. This probably isn't sustainable going forward: the world is going to let it be. I don’t feel bad about all of this, though. My pants are compostable.

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powershit

By Crue Doil

There’s a myriad of reasons why I find myself willing to speak so openly and damningly on a subject which I am dreadfully unqualified to discuss: I’m an unrelenting cynic; I’m dogmatically liberal; I’m narcissistic and self-important; I’m a Geography major—et cetera. But despite this potent cocktail of grave character ‘flaws’—or perhaps because of them—I generally like to consider myself a Man With His Wits About Him. Yet despite my environmentalist inclinations, it took a complimentary ticket, the promise of free accommodation, and some persistent corralling to get me to attend the Power Shift NZ-Pacific conference. Hosted at the Auckland University campus in December last year, the conference was advertised as "New Zealand’s biggest ever youth climate summit". I was hesitant because my encounters with campus environmentalists had left me uninspired, but a brief moment of earnestness saw me cough up money for flights and decide to go in with an open mind. The cause was a noble one, I thought, so I ought to give it a shot. Still, I ended up coming away soured, having experienced something more akin to a spree of relentless naïveté than a climate summit. But why?

One of the most persistent issues plaguing young, campus-based environmentalists is their generally terrible rhetoric. On this count, Power Shift provided no reprieve. The website, for instance, is ripe with cringeworthy hyperbole: the organisers’ statement that “young people developing their own awesomeness … is the most important thing in the world right now” is not only overstated, but distractingly ungrounded. Similarly, emails ahead of the event assured me it was going to be “mindblowing”, “extraordinary”, and “pretty crazy”. This juvenile rhetoric undermined the integrity and seriousness of the event—I felt like I was headed to a Happy Clappy God Camp somewhere in backwater Minnesota as opposed to a constructive, solutions-based conference.

But let me be clear: Power Shift wasn’t a fruitless exercise. There was a host of excellent workshops and panel discussions involving savvy, intelligent, and forward-thinking people. Former Green Party co-leader Jeanette Fitzsimons, for instance, was particularly insightful and eloquent. But even despite these highlights, the ‘happy-clappy’ brand of rhetoric used actually marred the overall vibe of the event. Indeed, my most vivid memories of the conference stem from these most insipid aspects.

My recollection of the hosts’ varied attempts to get us ‘amped’, for instance, still makes me grimace. On one occasion—I think on the second day, after attendee numbers had visibly dropped—organisers split the attendees into halves, asking one side to whisper “we are unstoppable” and the other to respond with “another world is possible”.

Instructed to become progressively louder with each utterance, this exercise saw the room quickly whipped into a frothing-at-themouth, optimistic fervour. To me, this kind of rhetoric felt embarrassing, unconstructive and pointless. It consumed far too much time.

Impotent and underwhelming rhetoric seriously afflicts movements and organisations. Its effects run deep. Conversely, on-point rhetoric is an incredibly powerful tool: consider Obama’s masterful oratory (the ever-charming “I love you back!”) in his ascent to presidential power, or Martin Luther King Jr’s ability to rally an entire movement with a compelling and captivating four-word catch-cry: “I have a dream”.

I would wager that Power Shift’s feel-good, happy-clappy rhetoric, amongst other things, has undermined its objective to spark a widereaching youth-centric environmentalism movement. Any flashes of potential seen during the conference itself have faded briskly.

As it happens, the 100% Possible campaign, which was launched off the back of the conference and intended as the vehicle for such a movement, looks to be dead in the water.

Contaminated with Power Shift’s half-baked rhetoric, 100% Possible seems a vague, scrambled and disorganised beast. Launched by a flashmob (are you surprised?) dancing to Swedish House Mafia’s objectively terrible song 'Save The World (Tonight)', the campaign seeks to lobby society that “moving beyond fossil fuels is 100% possible”.

Ironically, the song choice encapsulates the group’s rhetoric problems perfectly. Not only are such grandiose statements about saving the world tacky and precocious from a group of 20-somethings, they’re also unconvincing.

It definitely doesn’t help that 100% Possible is using an online declaration and a Facebook photo wall as its primary campaign mechanisms—arguably the blandest, most middle-of-the-road tools available. As author P. J. O’Rourke says: “the college idealists who fill the ranks of the environmental movement seem willing to do absolutely anything to save the biosphere, except take science courses and learn something about it”—and in this case, he may well be right. Are the ‘climate solutions’ espoused by the 100% Possible campaign actually viable alternatives that will ensure the ‘safe climate future’ the group talks about? Maybe—I honestly don’t know.

More importantly, are they communicated convincingly? Absolutely not.

Despite my apparently sourpuss approach, I genuinely believe it is vital that New Zealand develops post-fossil fuel solutions.

Not to 'Save The World (Tonight)' as the Swedish House Mafia and Power Shift organisers might suggest—but to safeguard a sustainable local economy in which we can foster social justice and socioeconomic equality. If these campus environmentalists have one thing right, it’s that they know there is a massive hill to climb. Sparking and sustaining an effective movement, however, requires a more compelling message than they’re currently proffering.

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The Real Cost of Study IN ONE DAY AT VICTORIA UNIVERSITY, WE PRODUCE... business travel

waste commuter travel

36.6 TONNES OF CO2 EMISSIONS

COMMUTER TRAVEL 39.2%

energy

BUSINESS TRAVEL 39.2% 126,606 KM

8899 KM (STAFF) 6545 KM (STUDENT)

1901 KM

CARBON-NEUTRAL COMMUTING

1934 KM 20,654 KM

9721 KM 56,520 KM

967 KM

WASTE 1.3%

ENERGY 40.9%

1089 KG 610 KG

64% GOES TO LANDFILL

36% GETS RECYCLED

40,466 kWh

53,974 kWh

$6904 SPENT ON GAS DAILY

$6904 SPENT ON ELECTRICITY DAILY

PAPER 70,242 SHEETS OF VIRGIN PAPER USED 4308 SHEETS OF RECYCLED PAPER USED

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WATER

 

339,531.5 LITRES USED

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a day in the life of: carbon neutral student

By Alexandra Hollis and Chloe Davies I wake up to the sun streaming in through the gap in my teepee. My flatmate tries to persuade me to come inside the house to watch almond-juicing videos on the Internet. I opt to water and hang out with my tree for ten minutes instead. I lift up my arms and feel my hairs rustle in the breeze.

Today is a good day. Tomorrow I shall bead them with the tiny earth stones my aura advisor/guru gave to me after realigning my chakra yesterday.

I feel a sense of superiority as a clone walks past me holding a Cookie Time.

I remember the chia seeds I purchased yesterday. I grab a handful out of my pocket and shove them in my mouth.

Mmm salty. Or maybe that’s my hands.

Maybe later I will make some chia milk. I head toward the Hunter Lounge with my grandfather’s compass. Time to spread the word of mother earth! I walk past a man I once saw biting into the carcass of a chicken. I etch “eat, pray, love” into five chairs before the waitress sees me. She just doesn’t feel the vibe. Bitch.

Everyone in this lecture theatre is using laptops. Philistines. One day soon the sea will rise and flood them all. Then they’ll cry about it and their tears will raise the sea level more and Samoa will be but a distant memory. I’m so irate I can’t even concentrate on this lecture, but it’s okay, I’ll

just use this time to draft witty comebacks for our next GenZero meeting.

I grab a Salient and head to the bathroom.

No need to flush.

The library is a graveyard. I can only take three steps through the door before I feel myself welling up in grief at this slaughter.

So many dead trees! And passed so carelessly from hand to hand.

I refuse to waste the world’s precious resources on paper or electricity so I stand at the Environmental Sciences reception, reciting my essay to the receptionist.

My assignment is due at 5. I refuse to waste the world’s precious resources on paper or electricity so I stand at the Environmental Sciences reception, reciting my essay to the receptionist. She tries to copy it down on a computer but I jump over the desk to stop

her. Oral communication is the only ethical communication! On my way out the door I see a guy with an iPhone. I spit in his face.

Doesn’t he know how many conflict metals that thing contains?!

Home for dinner. My oats have finally soaked up my organic apple juice! With a cup of second-dunk tea it makes for a scrummy meal.

Re-watching An Inconvenient Truth while cycling to power the TV. I feel virtuous.

And sweaty. Al Gore always does this to me; he’s almost as sexy as Nándor Tánczos. I lie down on my hemp rug to release some atmospheric pressure. Afterwards, I’m as dirty as a seabird in the Gulf of Mexico so I leave the house, looking for a river to bathe in.

Can’t find my favourite river in the dark— my juju is off tonight—so I bathe in the bucket fountain. A group of girls walk past, drunk off commercial alcohol. Do they have any conception of how much water they’ve wasted?! My homemade wine tastes much better anyway.

My teepee calls. Mother Nature, I’m coming home! (To the extent that 'home' can be constrained to a particular geographic location and isn’t just the murmuring of the wind in the trees as I fall asleep).

 29

VUWSA 

YOUR STUDENTS’

ASSOCIATION

your students' association You have to understand that at my core, I believe that every person, no matter their wealth or background, should be given the opportunity to contribute and reach their potential. That includes making carbon-efficient choices that will reduce the scale of climate change for all of us. It's about lifting people up so they can do their bit. We should pursue climate solutions that tackle the problem in a collective way, encouraging people—not shaming them—to act.

THE McCOURT REPORT VUWSA President Rory McCourt

It's time for a comprehensive, people-focussed response to climate change in New Zealand. That response will require a whole lot of action: a real price on carbon and methane, the subsidisation of renewable energy, more energy efficient housing and a transformation of our transport sector. The latter is a mammoth task, but tackling it in pieces will help get it done. When you consider that transport is the largest source of carbon emissions at Vic, it's clear there is something close to home we can do. Getting students out of their cars and on to lower-carbon emitting trains and buses seems like an obvious way to begin to get our collective footprint down.

In fact, tackling carbon emissions is one of the main motivations your student exec had for running a strong Fairer Fares campaign this year.

Getting the incentives right to make the low-carbon choice is critical.

At the moment, friends of mine from Porirua and the Hutt take their cars to Uni. Even with paying for parking, it's cheaper than taking the train or a series of buses. My friends know that their petrol-driven vehicles spew out CO2 like there's no tomorrow, but explain they would be crazy to take more expensive public transport than their warm, dry, easy and (relatively) cheap car to class. I can see where they're coming from. Why would you pay more to get soaking wet on the walk to the train station? The answer is: you wouldn't. And thousands of students don't. They take their cars.

The solution? We could wait for price of petrol to reach new heights, forcing students from their sedans and station wagons; or we could change the incentives today so that people like my mates take the train instead of their cars and do their bit for Mother Earth. One option waits for the market to push people, regardless of need, towards the right choice. The latter encourages good behaviour, rewarding early action.

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Collective approaches that value people offer our biggest hope to mainstream environmentalism and to shatter the hipster/Green hegemony over environmental action that puts so many would-be contributors off through chastisement and holier-than-thouism. While this group has carried the environmental torch well, often exclusive language and esoteric pedantry can leave people out in the cold.

We must focus on people, including them in the journey and ensuring they come out better off after the gold rush has gone. The blue-green vision of a market-led climate response is not such an approach. It is instead both sluggish and elitist, replacing people with profit and leaving the invisible hand to wave in climate calamity, while the poor pay the price at the pump and in their pay packets.

A comprehensive response to this global issue will instead require state-led action: a rapid and necessary upheaval of our entire economy. We should not be afraid to regulate, redistribute, subsidise, and yes—nationalise, when it is necessary. I seriously question the belief that Big Oil and the highly profitable resource industry will lead the way towards a low-carbon, energy-efficient future by themselves. Horses such as these will never drink the water that will become their poison. You can try and lead them all you like.

Instead, we must be brave and innovative in our use of collective institutions to produce the collective outcome we all depend on.

The state-led model for tackling climate change has its own flaws, though. When leaders don't show leadership, nothing happens.

You can see that in the present Government's winding-down of the home-insulation subsidy, or take Wellington Regional Council for a more local example.

With the proposal to extend the high school concession to university and polytechnic students, the Regional Council has an opportunity to lead the way to lower our region's carbon footprint and free up existing roads for those who really need them. The demand for new road construction will fall, saving ratepayers and taxpayers in the long run. The risk is that this worthy proposal is hushed away and our emissions continue to rise. I really hope that doesn't happen, that instead these 13 people, elected to lead, can find the spirit within themselves to make the choice that will allow us all to make a choice. The choice to ditch the car for a cheap, reliable and regular bus or train. The choice to contribute. It's not big, but it's our bit.

 VUWSA

Wellbeing and Sustainability Officer

By Rick Zwaan It’s Environment Week. Every week is Environment Week really, seeing as our ‘environment’ is constantly around us. But this week we get to celebrate the amazing things it does in its allencompassing ways. As your Wellbeing and Sustainability Officer, I’ve had the pleasure of helping to pull together a range of events to engage us mortal beings with that thing we can’t escape.

First up on Monday, you have the chance to learn how we can stop diluting our clean air with nasty global-warming-inducing gases. ‘Your future is electric’ is a presentation about how New Zealand can embrace moving charges we like to call 'electricity' to power our transport systems.

VUWSA, along with Generation Zero, is hosting a talk by Jace Hobbs who charges us with the challenge for how to make this 100 percent possible. You can try out electric bikes in the quad during the afternoon before coming to the talk in the Memorial Theatre at 5.30.

For many of us, university life consists of tenderising our fingers on our keyboards, as we theorise how to make the world a better place. On Tuesday, you have a chance to get your hands dirty as you help restore a key part of the city. Come down to the Kumutoto restoration site by the Squash Courts from 11 am; the Society for Conservation Biology will be there to show us what needs to be done. There will also be a workshop on creating community gardens at 1 pm in SU217.

NGAI TAUIRA Kua tae te wā, kua tae te wā. Kua hurihia te tau ki tēnei te hui whakahirahira o Ngāi Tauira, arā te hui-ā-tau. Nei ngā haerenga o te hui.

The Ngāi Tauira AGM for 2013 will be held this Friday 10 May, 5pm, at the Ngāi Tauira office, Room 102, 42 KP. The agenda includes a wrap up of the year’s events with reports from executive members, financials, and the election of the 2013 Executive Committee. Nomination packs are available from the Ngāi Tauira office and Te Herenga Waka Marae.

Māori students are crucial members of Victoria University’s community, as major stakeholders but more importantly as tangata whenua of Aotearoa. The kaupapa of Ngāi Tauira aims to provide Māori students with opportunities to support each other throughout their studies, encompassing whānaungatanga, manaakitanga, kotahitanga, rangatiratanga and ūkaipōtanga. We also recognise the importance of and advocate for a student-led Māori voice at crucial points of Victoria’s decision-making processes.

Who better to speak for Māori students than Māori students themselves? Get involved and make sure you’re represented! This meeting will be open to all tauira Māori under the principle of whānaungatanga. Dinner will be served following the formalities.

If you’d like to know more please e-mail us at ngaitauira@vuw.ac.nz.

Want to get onboard public transport with fairer fares? Well, on Wednesday at 1 pm you have the chance to help make that happen.

We’re hosting the first ever public forum to be held in the new Hub. This is your chance to let decision makers know how Wellington can be better for you as a student. Come along and share your views on how fares should be fairer. To help celebrate the launch of the campaign, we’re putting on a free lunch.

That thin layer of gas that we like to call our atmosphere is pretty important. It's kinda key to our survival. But us pesky human beings have been changing the way our climate behaves. On Thursday at 1 pm in SU217 350 Aotearoa, along with other intelligent people, will be here to let you know about the most important number in the world and how our climate is currently doing. We’ll also discuss what can be done to make our university carbon neutral.

By Friday, if you’re anything like me, you normally start to go a bit bananas. Well this week you can express your enthusiasm for the weekend by being part of a banana-eating competition in the Student Union Atrium at 1 pm. These aren’t any old bananas; they’re certified Fair Trade and full of All Good global justice.

This is also your chance to register your support for the VicIDS campaign to Fair-Trade our Vic. So I’m looking forward to an engaging week for our environment and hope to see you at some events too. Check out VUWSA’s Facebook page for more details and updates.

PASIFIKA STUDENTS' COUNCIL

Inspirational Night!

Where: Pasifika Haos, 15 Mount Street Kelburn When: Wednesday, 8 May 2013 Time: 7–8.30 pm Feed provided!

A night to inspire and motivate you to get back into study mode. You will hear from aspiring leaders, recent graduates of VUW and Wellington role models. Hear their stories, their experiences and their dreams. You will be inspired. Bring families and friends, open to everyone.

There will be guest speakers such as Tofiga Fepulea'i, Pale Sauni and more. Special performances by Timmy, Moe, Solomon and so forth.

Come on by to inspire, and to be inspired to inspire others!

Keep being sustainable, it's sexy. Rick.

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COLUMNS 

things that go bump in the night Dear Lux, I’m sorry to have to complain about this but it’s being bothering me for a long time now and came to a head (haha) sometime last week. The distribution of orgasms between partners is completely and utterly slanted to favour the boy.

The amount of times we (me and several different boys over the years) have been going at it and he exclaims “I’m close!” and I respond with something like “Oh yes, come for me!” is innumerable.

The problem is that he doesn’t return the favour. It still bothers me that both partners don’t come every time ('cos this would be ideal) but not only that, it is overwhelmingly the boy. The few times I have had this lovely experience, I got so nervous because of the pressure I felt to come quickly that it prolonged the fact and further decreased the chance I was likely to be granted that opportunity the

Dear Put-Out You are not alone. I can promise you that you are not the first person to feel this way in your relationship, and you will not be the last. At the most general level, men find it easier to get off than their female counterparts for a number of reasons; whether this is because procreation requires male orgasm, the female mechanics are somewhat less ‘user-friendly’, or because of the stigma attached to female sexuality will differ from one sexual escapade to the next.

The first thing I would recommend is learning what gets you off; if you can’t come on your own, you will find it more difficult to come while having sex with a partner. This will make it easier for you to communicate to your partner where to put in the effort. You will have a better

32 

lux lisbon w it h

next time. This has occurred not only in brief encounters but in long term, serious and loving relationships. Something seems seriously wrong about that. If I ever left him hanging like that I would never live it down. It is as if it is my responsibility to make him come every time and me coming would be an added bonus to my day. A couple of weeks ago I was lucky enough to find a new sexual partner and we began having hot sex. As expected, he had come about five times and me only once after the first week. I casually mentioned it to him while we were texting one day (I would never dare approach it in person) and he actually took it really well. He said that was selfish of the boy and he would change that. That night I anticipated wild pleasurable sex. On the contrary, he again proved to become one of the numbers. After murmuring “Thanks” after a handjob (and coming on my boobs

might I add, the lucky guy) he rolled off me and promptly went to sleep. I was utterly appalled. That was already the second the time he had come that night, me still resting at zero of course. The night the previous week when I gave him three blowjobs (yes in ONE night, that’s right) came back to me and I couldn’t help but think what a selfish bastard he was. On walking myself home at 6.30 the next morning and eating cupcakes to console myself before going to sleep, I realised something would have to be done. Someone would have to be told.

So I hope this achieves that action and perhaps you can shed some light on how this problem can be made a little better. From someone who is genuinely sick of doing it alone and wishes a man would make her come too, like he should.

feel for what positions make it easier for you to feel relaxed, and be able to touch yourself or have him touch you in a way which will bring you to orgasm.

then rather than telling him to come for you, tell him he is not allowed until you do: slow things down and make him go the distance.

Secondly, tell your partner what feels good and what you want more of— this can be as simple as moaning encouragingly when he's on the money, or as direct as asking him to slow down if you sense he is reaching the point of no return. It may seem less daunting to mention what you need from your sexual relationship in a text message, but I assure you that if you offer a little direction in the throes of passion, it is far less likely to go unnoticed or forgotten.

You’re also better positioned to get into specifics when you are in the moment.

If your partner is coming too soon, encourage him to let you know when he's close to blowing their load, and

Lux you long time xx

Put-Out, Pipitea

Lux Lisbon is our resident sex columnist for 2013. If there is anything in your life they could help shed a little light on, or a topic you want them to cover, go right ahead and send a little inbox love to luxatsalient @ gmail . com .

If you have issues or concerns that you wish to discuss privately and confidentially with a professional, rather than

Lux Lisbon, the Student Counselling Service can provide a safe place to explore such aspects of your life. The service is free and confidential. Phone (04) 463 5310.

Email counselling-service@vuw.ac.nz. Visit Mauri Ora, Level 1, Student Union Building.

 COLUMNS

e f i L r u o Y g n i x i F

[BECAUSE OURS ARE WRITTEN OFF]

Dearest Janetanyahu and Hectorialis Major There’s a girl in my English Lit lecture whom I adore. How do I get her to notice me? I don’t want to be that creepy guy who stares at her the whole time.

Bernardo

Janet Hi Bernardo, I don’t want you to be that guy either. My conventionally attractive friends tell me that those guys are the worst.

All that aside, my answer depends on how concerned you are with retaining mystery.

If you are concerned with retaining mystery, you’ll want to run into her outside of uni so that you don’t have to do what I have set out below. If you know of any mutual friends, ask them about her. Find out whether she has a boyfriend or a girlfriend. If neither, sleuth out what she’s doing that weekend and go to something that chances are you wouldn’t normally go to. Standard stuff.

If you are not concerned with retaining mystery—i.e., you are someone who can chat up while sober—you should sit next to her in your next lecture (or somewhere near her, if classes are generally badly attended) and talk to her. Ask her a question. If you are nervous or not funny enough to ad lib (perhaps you are also conventionally attractive, in which case it is largely unnecessary) you can do some garden-variety conversing on the course: upcoming assessment, the lecturer, etc. You could point out this question in a copy of Salient and ask her which guy and which girl she thinks are the relevant pair.

(That’s a fucking goldmine. That’s what I’d do.)

The pitfall of this discussion is that it requires mild snarkiness, and you ought not to let on that you’re a spiteful, mean person until you’ve tricked her into at least one date. As long as you don’t lead with “I have seen you at vicbooks. I like coffee too”, or “Have you seen Girls?” we should be fine.

I know you won’t screw it up, but in any case: before you’ve got her to agree to hang out with you outside of class, avoid such murky conversational waters as Hitchens, Family Guy references, your interest in bands you’re confident she’s never heard of— correspondingly, the terms ‘indie’/’hipster’/’alt’, anything you would say in a LAWS121 tutorial, your father’s job, the weather, creationism.

Does that sound like something you can do?

I find the separation of powers just comes up naturally.

As ever, listen to Hector, Janet.

Hector Hi Bernardo, Your situation is pretty much one we’ve all been in before, as much as none of us would like to admit it. I’m mostly just surprised that you found an attractive person in an English Lit class (joking, of course; it’s one of my eight majors).

Life is not Central Perk from Friends. This is New Zealand—people don’t just go up to complete strangers and start chatting. Let’s be honest here, at the end of the day you’re either going to have to make up some bullshit pretence like borrowing a pen, or just play it cool and mysterious and hope you bump into them at 2 am in Burger King.

That said, there are a bunch of things that you shouldn’t do. And no, I haven’t done these things personally. Not all of them anyway.

Don’t follow them after class. Don’t steal one of their belongings to return to them later.

Don’t stand awkwardly at the end of their row waiting for them so you can leave at the same time. Don’t confide your feelings in their friends. Don’t cross the line from hilarious Facebook stalking to actual stalking.

Don’t open with a quote from anything—that includes ‘Call Me Maybe’. Don’t be gimmicky.

Don’t persist through multiple rejections, because that’s where the ‘that creepy guy’ thing starts. Don’t let yourself be kept on the hook. Finally, whatever you do, do not write angst-ridden prose about it. I’ve included that last one because I know what you English Lit people are like, in particular the ones who use the words ‘whom’ and ‘adore’ in correspondence.

I guess there’s always the fallback option of saying something like “Hey, look, I just wanted to say that you’re the most handsome/ conversationally nimble/fergalicious person I’ve ever seen/in this room/for miles and miles and I’d really like to buy you a coffee/beer/ bevvo sometime. Are you free right now/after class/tomorrow?”

Actually, wait, scratch everything else just do that. If they say no; smile, thank them, and walk away. Your future emotional wellbeing will appreciate it, not to mention your dignity.

I promise it’ll be more successful than VUW Cupid.

Telling you life is gonna be this way, Hector PS. Please don’t tell me you’re worried that girls don’t go for 'nice guys' like you. There’s a lot to say about how dumb that whole philosophy is but.. maybe some other time.

Janet and Hector are our resident advice

If you have issues or concerns that you wish to discuss privately and confidentially with a

columnists for 2013. If you've got a problem you'd

professional, rather than Hector and Janet, Student Counselling Service can provide a safe

like them to solve, send your queries through to

place to explore such aspects of your life. The service is free and confidential. Phone (04) 463

editor@salient.org.nz, subject: 'ADVICE'.

5310. Email counselling-service@vuw.ac.nz. Visit Mauri Ora, Level 1, Student Union Building.

 33

COLUMNS 

laying down the law

Weekly Rant

Chasing the non-recyclable Paper

Girl Math with Rachael Ray by rosie Until recently, I have been indulging in watching a little extra RRay on the side of my dying real life of 3D human interactions #Socially awkward #YOLO Halfway through my usual sprawled out meat husk, drooloozing mouth, braindead RayRay fix, I just so happened to be mentally conscious enough (unlike most of Rachael’s real life, American, zombie apocalypse audience) to pay attention to her half-witted measuring technique, coined “Girl Math”.

By Anna Peacey and Emma Smith The National Government has about as much success with the environment as Taylor Swift has with relationships—the party policy assumes that growing more trees is inconsistent with growing the economy.

Greenies throughout New Zealand have refused to share the love with Simon Bridges lately, ever since he introduced an amendment to a Crown Minerals Bill that created new penalties for protests at sea.

The new law (the Bill was assented to on 19 April) makes it an offence to intentionally interfere with a ship, or to come within a zone of 500 m surrounding a vessel that is engaging in oil prospecting, exploration, or mining. It also gives enforcement officers broad powers to enter onto ships (even if they aren’t within the prohibited zone) and to arrest people without warrants.

The Government says that this “fills a gap” in the existing law, and that protests at sea can cause significant health and safety risks for others. The opposition argues that the Rainbow Warrior was bad-ass and that this is just another example of the Government selling out to big companies (remember when our employment law was overhauled just to please Warner Brothers?)

The law, dubbed the “Petrobras law” or the “Anadarko amendment” after two large oil corporations, has pissed off more than just the greenies, though. It was introduced as a Supplementary Order Paper, which means that it came in after the Select Committee and public consultation phases of the legislative process. Those of us who aren’t fortunate enough to be part of the National Party caucus had no idea that such a large change was going to be made to our law, and we had no opportunity to give them our two cents before the law was passed. Greenies and legal academics alike have criticised this law for its restriction on the right to protest. They say that the Government is more worried about making money by attracting foreign oil giants than protecting our civil and political rights.

The moral of the story is that the Government can basically do whatever it wants (which, if you’ve ever done LAWS213, you will be sick of hearing), leaving the greenies lying on the cold, hard ground.

Oh Rachael, naive Rachael that was your last and final mistake. I’m angry—and crazy, to make matters worse.

In a blind rage, I email. I send a strongly worded email addressed straight to Rachael herself. Does Rachael not condone the advancement of women in mathematical (or any academic) fields?

Enraged, I couldn’t sleep. Curiouser and curiouser, next I google. “Rachael Ray-Maths” In the list of results, an interview with Mrs Obama caught my eye, titled: “First Lady Michelle Obama tells Rachael why she passes her daughters’ Math homework to their Dad” …The fuck is this? Can everyone just calm the fuck down for a second? And let me think, why is everyone being such a hater of the M-sub?

Time for some hard-hitting, badly referenced facts: Fact numero-uno: The area of the brain associated with registering physical pain also activates when maths-anxious people anticipate completing a math problem.(someone at University of Chicago).

Fact numero-duo: Women are 60 per cent more likely than men to suffer from anxiety disorder over their lifetime (so says the American Mental Health Institute).

(Cue: Scientific cringe) So, Rachael, with the above in mind, is this why on international television you proclaimed the new and revolutionary subject of ‘girl math’? You were looking out for the health of the average American woman who is at high risk of developing an anxiety disorder when faced with the challenge of real mathematical thinking?

Well, thanks, but in all honesty, I’d rather be an anxious pillpopping individual who doesn’t give up or substitute a real challenge for a more feminine or “girlesque” alternative.

I will be watching my mPro Screen for your reply, Rachael. Until then, you have lost one more discerning viewer.

'Weekly Rant' is a space for one-off opinion pieces.

Want to write your own? Contact editor@salient.org. nz to run riot.

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 COLUMNS

Hoopin' and Hollerin' Round four: Backboards and backbones On 20 April, the NBA Playoffs began. The Washington Wizards finished the regular season with 29 wins, 53 losses—they’d be watching the playoffs from home. As the players took stock of a disappointing year, each went their separate ways. Star John Wall went home to North Carolina after averaging a career-high 18.5 points per game; still not enough to send the third-year guard into the playoffs for the first time. Swingman Trevor Ariza reflected on what was a mediocre season by his standards, his productivity having continuously fallen since helping the Lakers to a championship in 2009. And centre Jason Collins, a 12-year veteran of the league, coming off a quiet season in the twilight of his career, became the first major American professional athlete to come out as gay while still active in a major league.

Such an announcement may not seem all that far-fetched, and indeed, it was only a matter of time before the sports world broke the ceiling already cleft in the arts, political, and business worlds.

What sets Collins’ announcement apart is the alpha-masculism and homophobia so entrenched in male sports, where unbridled testosterone is currency in the pursuit of victory. Such an environment is anathema to inclusivity and support for anything seen as inferior, emasculating or weak. Having spent time in a semi-professional basketball team, I can assure readers of the often latent, sometimes unashamed bigotry which exists. On one occasion my team sat post-training as one senior player angrily lamented: “you used to be able to call people a ‘fuckin’ faggot’, now you can’t!”. Another added, “I’m not homophobic, I’m fine with gay people, but”—and this was spoken earnestly, as if there was a genuine belief the ‘but’ excused the following—”just as long as they’re not gay around me”.

By Chris McIntyre

Collins came out by way of a beautifully penned long-form statement published in Sports Illustrated, wherein he covers his struggles with his identity, emphasises that his sexuality should not change how he is accepted, seeks to allay the fears of homophobic players, and outlines his hopes for the future. Since the announcement, he has been supported by his family, members of his team, NBA management, other NBA players, and even the President of the United States. In the context of sport’s underlying homophobia, the value of the public nature of this support can not be understated: what was in many ways a final frontier to equal acceptance just became that much less formidable for those still waiting to feel accepted. Though this will by no means flick a universal switch in sports culture, it is the start of the wave which has already passed through every domain but professional sports. The wave looks set to continue, with NFL player and queer-rights advocate Brendon Ayanbadejo saying earlier in April that four NFL players are expected to come out together soon.

On court, Jason Collins sets picks, fouls hard and gets baskets, just like any other player. What separates him in the eyes of his detractors is who he loves, off court, outside the lines. The baseline, the sidelines, the key, are artificial constructions on a plane of hardwood, and in no way change the person who steps in between them. Just as artificial is the line drawn between ‘us’ and ‘them’, by virtue of who a person loves. I salute Jason Collins, and I hope his announcement illustrates just how arbitrary painted lines of all sorts really are.

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COLUMNS 

The Sweet Scoop Fashionable baking is great, but sometimes it can get a little boring. More cupcakes?

Cake pops (which are just cupcakes on sticks)? And don't get me started on frosting shots. Sometimes what you want is something classic and traditional. This cake was, like our favourite academic institution, named after Queen Victoria.

The Victoria Sponge would originally have been a children's cake: it was believed to be dangerous to feed children rich seed or fruit cakes, so plain ones were chosen.

Later it found its way to adult tables, and aren't we glad it did.

Victoria Sponge

Julia Wells

175 g butter 175 g white sugar 3 eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla essence 175 g white flour 2 teaspoons baking powder 5 tablespoons jam 1 cup cream, whipped Icing sugar, for dusting Preheat the oven to 180°C. Warm the butter until soft. Cream (mix briskly) the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy; this can be done with a fork, egg beater, or electric mixer. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each one. Add the vanilla and beat again, making sure it is smooth and fluffy. Slowly add the flour and baking powder to the egg mixture. Beat for a few minutes, until the batter is very smooth and fluffy. The final result should be almost the texture of mock cream.

This cake is a rich sponge, yellow from the butter and egg yolks. The plain buttery cake makes a wonderful contrast to the thick middle layer of cream and jam. Although the usual filling is just jam and cream, this is delicious with berries in the middle as well.

It's definitely amongst the best.

Place in a well-greased circular tin, about 20 cm diameter. Alternatively, you can use two tins, and split the batter between them. Bake until the top is light brown, the cake has pulled away from the sides, and the top springs back if gently pushed. For two tins, this takes around 20-25 minutes; for a single tin about 45. Do not open the oven door while baking until quite far through the cooking time, or the cake might sink. When done, remove from the oven and cool for a minute, then take out of the tin and cool completely. If one cake, cut in half. Fill with a layer of jam and whipped cream, sandwich cakes together, and dust the top with icing sugar. Serve at once.

beer'd

A Rainbow of IPA across Wellington

By Dave the Beer Guy

As a barman, I see trends in the craftbeer industry come and go first-hand.

Sometimes they’ll stick, other times they’ll start with a hiss and a roar, then fizzle out after a couple of months.

Within the bleeding obvious hophead trend lies another trend—brewing hoppy IPAs of any colour except their original ‘beer colour’.

During the last few years I have seen IPAs in hues of red, white and black (I’ve even made a pink one with beets)—but I can’t remember the last time a new one came out that was just an IPA. I’m not complaining though. The added complexity of the coloured malts brewers use to achieve such colours has made for a much wider spectrum of hoppy beers to coexist in a crowded market.

Probably the first non-yellow IPA on the New Zealand market was 8 Wired ‘Tall Poppy’, debuting on tap a couple of

36 

years ago and eventually becoming part of 8 Wired’s staple range. Tall Poppy combines the fruity, zesty character of US hops, like Simcoe and Amarillo, with rich and toasty crystal and Munich malts.

The end result is a beer to please both malt lovers and hopheads alike.

The most misunderstood coloured IPA is the white IPA—so named because a large portion of the grain used is malted wheat, NOT because they are related to the yeast-driven Weissbier and Witbier of Europe. In fact, most white IPAs use the same yeast as normal IPAs.

If you like it dark, the groovy chaps from Funk Estate have you covered with their black IPA: ‘Funk’nstein’. Originally released at six per cent in 2012 with the literal name ‘Black IPA’, the malt was beefed up in subsequent batches which saw the re-naming to Funk’nstein at seven per cent. The latest batch strikes a beautiful balance between its light, chocolatey, roast character and tropical fruit from the generous additions of Cascade and Nelson Sauvin hops.

Excitingly, the guys are now bottling their funky creations—so expect to see bottled 'Funk’nstein' at bars and supermarkets in the next week or two.

Of course, there are always exceptions, and Moa ‘Southern Alps White IPA’ is one. It bucks the trend by using the spicy Belgian yeast and coriander seed of a Belgian Witbier as well as truckloads of US-grown Citra hops. The subtle coriander blends amazingly well with the insane fruit and pine of Citra, all topped off with a crisp bitterness and weighing in at only 5.8 per cent. Look out for it on tap now, bottles should come in the next month.

In the meantime, get beer-curious and try an IPA that’s got something a little different going on.

If you’ve got any questions or comments, tweet me @davethebeerguy

 ARTS

ARTS

VISUAL ARTS

TURN(ERING) ME ON review

sharom lam

Named after renowned painter J. M. W. Turner, the Turner Prize has annually been awarded to a British visual artist and has received its fair share of media attention since its inception in 1984, often being cited at Britain’s most publicised award for art. The Turner’s status owes itself to the controversy it has garnered over the years, with its artistic credibility often debated—the 2001 winner Martin Creed’s aptly named piece The Lights Going On and Off consisted of a room with its lights going on and off (a protesting artist rebutted by throwing eggs at the room’s walls). This has led to the likes of Prince Charles commenting “..the dreaded Turner Prize, it has contaminated the art establishment for so long”.

However, other celebrities have continually been involved on the supportive side of the prize, with Yoko Ono, Madonna and Jude Law being guest presenters in previous years.

The nominees for this year’s Turner Prize were announced late in April, with the artists and their work being as different to each other as possible:

goes largely unacknowledged for his work with musicians, including directing music videos for Prince and Blur, as well as collaborations with Franz Ferdinand, David Byrne and Hot Chip.

His dark wit has since spread to his considered pieces which include a taxidermy dog holding a protest sign declaring “I’m dead”, a grocery list etched upon a tombstone, and a “For Sale” sign planted in a river. Of all the nominees, Shrigley is the most accessible and most easily enjoyed—a quick Google search is likely to win one over.

LYNETTE YIADOM-BOAKYE Being compared to Manet and Degas, Lynette Yiadom-Boakye is the first black woman to be nominated for the Turner Prize. Her figurative oil paintings are all subtly expressive and unique in their personal tones. On top of having recently achieved trans-Atlantic attention through numerous New York exhibits, her nomination has the romanticism of re-establishing the relevance of oil painting in modern art.

LAURE PROUVOST

DAVID SHRIGLEY Based in Glasgow, David Shrigley is best known for his dark, sardonic yet strangely relatable cartoons, which most people have probably come across at some point on the internet. He also

of her whispers and static, is hard to listen to in its entirety. This isn’t to say this is all Prouvost can do—light-hearted quirk is seen with her penchant for butts which cheekily recur through the entirety of her visual pieces and become the focus of a series of paintings.

This London-based artist finds her focus upon mixed-media and video pieces, and has previously won the Max Mara Art Prize for Women. Her films are full of surrealist imagery—strawberries, pineapples, car windows. Unsettling spookiness seems to be her speciality—her audio piece Grand Dad, composed

TINO SEHGAL Tino Sehgal sees in just the second time performance art has been considered for the Turner. Sehgal has perhaps been the most debated of the nominees due to the immaterial nature of his work which cannot be sold, touched, or even sometimes seen. He is most famous for his constructed experiences, one of these being last year’s These Associations in London’s Tate Modern. For this, Sehgal orchestrated 50 people to wander among the visiting public, sometimes walking, sometimes dancing, sometimes talking to individuals and sharing chilling emotional stories from stranger to stranger. His refusal to make any art that has a physical form sets him apart from the other three nominees and has made him a popular vote among critics.

A dark cartoonist, an oil painter, an eerie filmmaker and a public performance artist—the group of nominees is generously representative and excitingly diverse. While the usual criticisms of the Turner are sure to reawaken in December when the winner is announced, the one thing that this year’s Turner cannot be labelled is boring.

 37

ARTS 

FILM Rust and Bone

review

Director: Jacques Audiard REVIEW By Gabrielle Beran

Rust and Bone really should have been titled Raw and Bloody—such is the level of realism and graphic imagery that prevails in this French film. The narrative sees whale-trainer turned double amputee Stephanie (Marion Cotillard) develop an extraordinary relationship with the poor and desperate solo father Ali (Matthias Schoenaerts).

The raw portrayal of the struggle to make ends meet in a seaside French city becomes evident in the opening minutes. Ali’s actions are certainly more alarming with his vigorous sexual antics, street fighting and inability to deal with his role as a father. Yet Stéphanie’s quieter pain is more intense and Cotillard represents a lost woman with seriousness and integrity—without a hint of the allure that has made her so recognisable.

The audience finds it excruciating to witness Stéphanie wake up and realise her legs are gone,

ETERNITY review

Director: Alex Galvin review By Gerald Lee

Science fiction has always had a special place in my heart. Through the manipulation of reality, filmmakers can explore both the medium’s ability to craft a unique sense of place, and the depths of the human experience. From that point of view, while Alex Galvin’s new sci-fi feature Eternity proves to be a technical success, it falters on an emotional level due to some irritating performances and underwritten characters.

Despite some sci-fi dressings, the story is at its core a classic murder mystery, albeit one where the stakes are significantly higher. Through a new technology known as Transference, prospective detectives are able to tackle actual homicide cases played out entirely within a computer program.

However, it soon becomes clear that something or someone is working against them, and one Richard Manning must strive to find the answers.

There is nothing especially innovative about this tale, but the premise is nonetheless intriguing and watchable. Unfortunately, the resolution is slightly underwhelming and the broader questions are handled in a rather perfunctory manner.

38 

afterwards screaming, “What have you done to my legs?!” This tension remains high throughout, even though some of the events are exceedingly predictable considering what we know about humanity.

However, the film manages to provide relief just when you feel you cannot bear another minute of the violence or desperation. These moments of beauty are understated and pure, like the movement of the whales and Stéphanie’s walking. Additionally, the bright, almost blinding, light of the seaside balances out the darkness of the small spaces where the action takes place. It is shot so that you never quite see a moment of propelling action fully play out, just the conclusion, and only once in the whole film do either of them ask “Why?” of the other.

RUST AND BONE

The sheer intensity and realism of Rust and Bone make it a compelling film. While it may not have been enjoyable, it is absolutely essential viewing.

Verdict: 4/5

Where Eternity excels is in its crafting of a particularly evocative atmosphere. Galvin makes excellent use of Wellington’s landscape and environs, making them seem empty and lifeless as part of a ‘game world’. The score is particularly fantastic: eerie and mysterious, if a little overbearing at times. These all add up to an excellently woven sense of unease; there’s something amiss here but it’s hidden just beneath the surface.

However, the human aspect of the film is never really convincing due to some exceedingly wooden acting. Apart from Ralph Johnson as the inbuilt aid ‘Sherlock’, none of the main cast manage to breathe any life or personality into their characters. Elliot Travers fares particularly poorly as the protagonist Richard Manning, constantly furrowing his brow and banging his fists in place of genuine acting. None of the supposedly poignant moments have any impact simply because the actors cannot convey the requisite emotions. The onus of this can’t be placed squarely on the actors, however. An underwritten script, which only lightly sketches its characters, must also take its share of the blame. As a result, Eternity often feels more like a mechanical exercise, as opposed to a human tale.

Even so, Eternity manages to entertain thanks to its impeccable aesthetic and solid, if unremarkable, story. However, it still ends up feeling like a teaser; a taste of what this clearly talented director could do next with a more accomplished cast and better script.

Verdict: 3/5

ETERNITY

 ARTS

BOOKS sons—who eschews concerns of marriage and empire in order to hunt “li-tigons” (lion + tiger + lioness) on “Erath”: a simulated world populated by naked Amazons who want to “devirginize” their prey. Juraletta, the heroine, is the Princess of Qwerty, a place which turns out to not really exist: consisting only of Juraletta, her gorgon, a castle, a dwarf, a giant and a talking hedge which becomes a unicorn.

And this is only the A plot: there’s not much breathing space.

This was my main problem with Tropic of Skorpeo. Morrissey’s approach, which seems to be to throw every possible reference at the page to see what sticks, while messy and discordant, is manageable. But there is very little that unifies the novel’s disparate elements into a coherent world. We get bogged down in the references and the jumps from scene to scene and world to world; it's confusing and exhausting.

Tropic of Skorpeo - Michael Morrissey

review

Alexandra Hollis

There’s that cliché: don’t judge a book by its cover. And I try to always adhere to the rules of cliché, especially when they’re about books. So I really, really, try to not judge books by their covers. But every so often you get books which have frankly incomprehensible covers with octopuses, unicorns, semi-naked purple women and green men on them, accompanied by the tagline Punkoids! Slutoids! Octopus! and judging a book—at least slightly—by its cover is kind of inevitable. In fact, even fitting. Because Michael Morrissey’s Tropic of Skorpeo definitely lives up to the expectations this provides.

Inspired by Lewis Carroll, Shakespeare, Alfred Bester and Vonnegut (all of whom Morrissey dedicates this work to), it's sort of Steampunkmeets-Space Opera, meshing disparate elements from science fiction and wider culture. The hero, Rhameo, is a “pounamu green” Prince—the firstborn of over 1700

there is definitely an element of tongue-incheek irony. The machinations of the plot and deus ex machina serving to coincidentally bring together the multitudes of characters and subplots certainly seems knowingly silly, and lines like “all around him, a sea of bosoms erupted from the earth like pinkskinned naked mole rats” can’t be taken too seriously. But sometimes this is diffused by Morrissey’s overburdened prose and multitudes of characters: the hilariously terrible can be fun, but he spends pages leading up to a halfhearted punchline which dramatically reduces its impact.

If you can get into it, Tropic of Skorpeo is fun.

There’s some fighting, some kidnapping, two thwarted weddings, a love plot, and at one point Rhameo does go to sleep inside a giant vagina on a planet called Pornotopia. I guess it depends on what you’re into.

The best science fiction has a very clear idea of the world in which its story is being told, which this doesn't. The conceptual geography of a science-fiction story world needs to be based in realism, however surreal it may become as the narrative progresses. While Morrissey plagues us with references which seem to imply a description, he never really describes anything, apart from a few of the main characters—Juraletta, in case you were wondering: purple, with four breasts. I'm still not sure if “Queen Beia” (an imperious queen, somehow partly created by the ineffectually evil Lord Maledor) is a woman or a bee or both, and how that could work: this lack of clarity is a serious issue.

This isn’t a book for kids, either: at times Tropic of Skorpeo is graphically sexual. In fact, problematically so. The moments of consensual sex are unnerving and overblown, emphasising the strangeness of these scenes rather than the eroticism. But there are also moments of non-consensual sex, or near sexual assault, which aren’t addressed with any concern. The narrative gaze on the female form—especially Juraletta’s, as a four-breasted virgin—is objectifying and kind of leery.

Tropic of Skorpeo isn’t exactly satire. Morrissey’s approach is at least somewhat serious, but

 39

ARTS 

THEATRE Guy Williams INTERVIEW

Jonathan Heslop

Do you think it’s easier to get into comedy now than when you started?

It was real easy when I got into it—I think it’s changed, I think it’s harder. The Wellington Comedy Club used to be really strong; it was at San Francisco Bath House. Flight of the Conchords had left, but Ben Hurley and Steve Wrigley and Dai Henwood were still there, all these people who have since left to go to Auckland. It left a bit of a void, because there isn’t the same quality of comedian in Wellington like there used to be.

Now that a lot of New Zealanders know you, do you find it harder to get laughs—do you find the audience reacts differently?

If people know who you are it’s easier, because they think you’re funny already. Well, it’s hard if they think you’re unfunny, but if it’s my own show and people come along, and they think you’re funny, then it’s immediately more relaxing.

If it’s like you, and you haven’t done many gigs, then the first thing you have to try and do is relax your audience by establishing that you’re funny.

That’s why they always tell you to put your best

Jonathan Heslop is an amateur comedian and second-year student at Victoria University.

He performed last week in the Comedy Festival’s ‘Generation Why?’ show.

Guy Williams is a Victoria graduate and winner of the 2012 Billy T Award. Catch him during the Comedy Festival at Thistle Hall, Friday 10 and Saturday 11 May at 7pm. Entry by Koha. (“It’s the best show you could come to as a student, because you pay what you can afford.”)

40 

joke at the start—so you can really prove to the audience that you’re up to scratch.

Thought on hecklers, swearing, and swearing at hecklers?

Swearing at hecklers? That’s my only gag normally. If people heckle me I just tell them to eff off and that’s my best gag pretty much.

I normally tell hecklers I’m going to eff them up after the show—that normally gets quite a decent laugh.

the people being part of the Socialist Party. Not that I’m right-wing or anything, but I was rightwing compared to them. I’d consider myself to be left-wing, but compared to those nutters, who were running that place...

Favourite Wellington busker?

Yes, but I had to pull out of it because I thought I was going to move to the States. I ran for Activities Officer and I was trying to set up a comedy club—Vic really should have a comedy club.

The guy on Lambton Quay who stands there with religious pamphlets. He’s my favourite, because he’s there on Lambton Quay, which is not a very religious place in Wellington, you know, it’s quite educated. He’s handing out these pamphlets, which he’s been doing for at least ten years. He’s had zero success—he’s the opposite to Hayley Westenra—he’s the opposite of success.

Yet he continues to apply himself; he’s gotta get some credit for that. No matter what you think about his policies, he’s got a fantastic work ethic, and he’s gotta be commended.

I’m actually in the process of starting a comedy club at Vic!

Do you have any tips for people trying to get into comedy?

If you want someone to come along and be a part of it, I’d be keen for that. I wanted to have a comedy club because that’s what they always encourage you to do if you want more stage time—run your own club. That was my dream. I was Activities Officer for a bit, I worked hard at that. I mainly just worked on the Bread Bank and stuff, that was my crowning achievement. Then the Presidency came up and I was just sick of all

Give it a try. I think everyone has something funny about them and everyone has a funny fiveminute set in them at least, but it’s really hard to find that. The problem is people often imitate famous comedians. Everyone in the world should try stand-up, for the other reason that it just really helps your public speaking, but who knows, you could be a comedy savant.

You ran for VUWSA President, right?

Guy Williams

 ARTS

GAMES Bethesda Softworks’ Skyrim (2011) Xbox 360, Playstation 3, PC

review

Patrick Lindsay

You’ve potentially heard of this one. Beautiful vistas, hundreds of hours of gameplay, deep character-creation systems and the ability to yell at bears so hard they fall off cliffs—it’s got all of the usual things you’d expect from a blockbuster role-playing game. However, there's also a complex political environment worthy of taking a look at.

The dominant power in the game is the Empire, a political organisation with colonial holdings throughout the game’s world. This imperial structure allows the game to consider issues like the effects of civil war on different parts of society or the economic effects of colonialism.

Then there's the refugee politics, wherein victims of a catastrophic natural disaster are ghettoised and not permitted to integrate into society. This political stuff is always accompanied by nobrainer bandit-punching, but it's certainly there.

Skyrim also looks at how religion and politics cross. In a postwar treaty with the Empire, an outside power eliminated the worship of Talos, a god of particular significance to the indigenous population of Skyrim. This allows the game to explore religious dissent and persecution, and how this can generate divided societies that are impossible to govern. Religion also contributes to the civil war in a realistic portrayal of the historical causes of conflict (alongside dragons, which are a slightly less historical cause of conflict).

The Salient Arts Rating Guide: 5 Ygritte's derrière

The socio-political aspects of Skyrim are not worn on its cardboard sleeve. It's possible to stab every dude, climb every mountain and open every treasure chest without once having politics thrust upon you. Skyrim’s world demands closer examination by the politically minded, however. Okay, perhaps not in a POLS112 lecture, but certainly by bored students sitting in the back rows.

Study Antarctica in Antarctica!

Apply Now! Closing date: 1 August

Postgraduate Certificate in Antarctic Studies A 15 week multi-disciplinary study of Antarctica and the Southern Ocean. www.anta.canterbury.ac.nz

4 Loras' toyboy's booty 3 Brienne's behind 2 Jamie's gluteus 1 The disappointment at no close up of Jon Snow's ass :(

 41

PUZZLES 

PUZZLES 'hand jive' - difficulty: medium 42. Cartoon character with a brown skirt 43. Part of CBS (abbrev.)

44. Places for attention, stat!

45. Soup used in 'The Exorcist' 46. A speech might be written on them 50. Main bloodlines 53. MMORPG with nearly ten million players 54. Party with one seat, currently 57. Quick sketch 59. Island that was divided in 1859 60. Record of a year's events 61. ___ way (kind of) 62. It may be self-titled 63. 'Somebody That I Used to Know' performers 64. Solid Snake's franchise, for short 65. Schematics

ACROSS 1. Company images 6. Not Dem. or Ind. 9. Colorado ski resort 14. Give or take 15. “___ been thinking...”

16. Close trim 17. Mr. Burns, to friends 18. She has balloons as a cutie mark 20. Kebab meat 21. Become solid 22. Paragons

23. He might introduce acrobats 26. Word on a Wonderland cake 27. Rear in the States?

28. “You'll ___ for this, Captain Planet!”

31. 20-Across might contain this, if you're unlucky 34. Accent of some United fans 36. Heading for a chores list 37. Descriptor of some easylistening music 40. 4WD vehicles 41. Vibe

62-Across, for short) 24. It gets hammered 25. Saint Nick 28. Put together, as money 29. #1 guy, in the Bible 30. “Do, or do not” speaker 31. Aussie birds 32. Follower of Sim or Vice, in video games 33. Laudatory poems 34. PC peripheral 35. Continent with Table Mt. 36. Device in an OK Go video 38. Competitor of E. Lauder 39. 'Have You ___?'

44. Make possible 45. Fido's foot 46. “Be that as ____...”

47. 'Star Wars' fighter 48. RC and Coke, for two 49. Dance at Rio Carnival 50. It's an anchor in HTML DOWN 51. “That can't be good...”

1. Kebab meat 52. Littlest litter member 2. High-pitched instrument 55. Tree or house, in syntax 3. One who's doomed, colloquially 56. They're up your sleeves 4. Plays far away from the pitcher's 58. Prepare to fire mound?

59. Faucet 5. Absolute mess 6. “____ a new one!” (“Give those guys hell!”)

7. Madonna musical 8. Write 9. They're often delivered in stage whispers 10. Dramatic, as a cliff 11. Ernest Hemingway's nickname 12. Fiendish 13. Words indicating names before marriage 19. Gaudy style of design 21. '___ Pepper's' (Beatles

Quiz 1. What powers combined summon Captain Planet?

6. Which planet is closest to the sun?

2. Who is the Earth mother?

7. Which current member of parliament passed away last week?

3. What is the second most traded commodity, after oil?

8. When is the next FIFA World Cup? Bonus point: Who will be hosting?

4. Who is the oldest living member of staff at Victoria University?

9. What controversial food returned to New Zealand last week?

5. How old is Lorde? Bonus point: How quickly did tickets to her Wellington show sell out?

10. Why did Jason Collins make headlines last week? Bonus point: Which sport does he play?

sports to declare he was gay. Bonus: Basketball.

Brazil. 9) The Double Down. 10) Became the first active player in one of America’s major Murphy. 5) 16. Bonus: 73 seconds. 6) Mercury. 7) Labour MP Parekura Horomia. 8) 2014. Bonus: ANSWERS: 1) Earth, Fire, Wind, Water and Heart. 2) Papatūānuku. 3) Coffee. 4) The tuatara in

variety puzzles & CROSSWORD by puck — ANSWERS NEXT ISSUE

42 

ISSUE 07 SOLUTION

Guess who?

ď ? PUZZLES

Target

o y m

s s e t e c

Target rating guide: 0-15 words: do you

Hostile Environment

even go here?

16-25 words: alright

For each letter across the top of the grid, find five words, one to fit each of the categories on the left. For some squares, there may be more than one possible answer.

difficulty: easy

26-35 words: decent 36-50 words: PRO

H

50+ words: free drink

E

R

D

S

Word containing 'eco' Shade of green

Type of geographical feature

European country African mammal

SOLUTION FROM LAST WEEK: The answers to the clues: Ally, Arming, Car, CH, Diego, E, Mensa, N, Other, Prince, Realm, Theon, W. These pieces can be put together to form: Carmen Sandiego, Prince Charming, Real Mother, The One, Wally.

YEAR LONG PUZZLE: 8. Rearrange PLANE TICKET into a phrase that means that someone didn't resort to sex or bad language (4,2,5).

Sudoku difficulty: easy

difficulty: medium

difficulty: very hard

ď ˘ 43

LETTERS 

letters Letter of the

week

win a $10 voucher for the hunter lounge

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED Dear Salient, I would rather bite into the puss filled genital herpes sores of a fat old lady laying on top of a garbage heap while she drinks luke warm diarrhea out of a smelly sock, all while using the bloody mucus like feces from her cancer ridden colon as a masturbation lubricant than read your magazine.

Yours sincerely, Oliver

WE MADE OUR MONEY IN ENGL111 Dear Salient, Ever had to do ACCY111? Depreciation?

More like depressiation.

Yours, In this lecture I'm effectively a mature student.

CON-FEZ-SIONS OF A HATER Hey "Fez Guy", That's a pretty high horse you've gone and got yourself there. Did it come with the fez?

Or perhaps the bow tie? Typewriter even? Or was it a combo deal featuring all three?

It's such a shame. Here I was reading that neat wee piece on The Hypothetical Government Club, thinking it seemed like an awesome idea, only to turn to the back of the Salient to find your arrogant and disgusting letter. You kind of killed my fez buzz.

While I do appreciate some of your style (after all, Bow Ties are Cool) there's no need to get all high and mighty, praising yourself as "the one who dared break the bounds of social construct". You've somehow managed to make the fez uncool for probably the first time in recorded history. It is truly a sad time for all of us.

See, what you don't seem to understand 44 

is that the some of us don't need to wear eccentric clothing to be liked. We don't need to wear a fez to be interesting. Our personalities do that for us; a concept you sadly seem to have no grasp of.

Yours Resentfully, Bitter-And-Alone

THANKS OBAMA Dear Keyneslient Why should the ratepayers fund your reckless bus usage?

Buy a fucking car like a real New Zealander. Where are you getting buses to anyway, the pharmacy for our TAXPAYER SUBSIDISED ABORTION PILLS? Stop filling up my favourite sports bars with your short skirts and cuffed jeans. We already pay for the botanic-fucking-gardens, some Maori named 'museum', and a goddamn cable car. Not to mention the interest on your socialist loans.

- Mikey Lawz

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE RODE THE BUS? HITLER Dear [applicable pun]lient, On Monday I put $10 on my Snapper.

By the end of the day it was gone. Fairer fares, man. Fuck fares. Fuck this shit. I have $1.25 in my cheque account and no money on my phone. If I get followed home tonight I will have no means of escape - I won’t even be able to run away because the last time I ate was breakfast and fuck me I’m hungry.

Come the Marxist/socialist dawn, I say.

Come the revolution. Brothers, sisters, tear down the capitalist bourgeois! They are wiping their asses with your cash. They are wiping their asses with the cash you paid to get to Uni so your sell-out, Labour-voting lecturers could teach you about jobs you won’t get.

Do you remember when we all had 10 trip tickets? The little pink ones? And sometimes, if the driver didn’t click it enough you could get on again the next day using the same trip? Those were happy days, man. I was happy when I had a little pink 10 trip ticket.

Bring them back. Please? <3 Rory McHawt

DRINKING ALONE IS A GOOD SOLUTION Hey Ho S, Long time no CC (I'm writing an email so I'm trying to be punny, but clearly it is not working).

Here is an update about me: I had the Laws121 test and we're going to be getting our marks back pretty soon. - Fun fact: the fire alarms were conveniently faulty the night before the test, so that pretty much ruled.

I put in ALOT of effort for the test, I mean ALOT, but hey, sometimes you have to accept the things the way they are I suppose.

I got rid of this clingy person, and I am so relieved that I don't have to pretend to be their friend anymore. Because THEY were the one that told me that I was their last resort.

I just really couldn't handle the dude. But he's gone now, so *tick. (He owes me money though, so what am I supposed to do?)

I didn't go home in our recent break, because lets be serious, I don't like Auckland. It sucks. (Except my cat, my family, and a few people I like) My roommate went home so I had her room space too. It was cool because I hung up my laundry and drank (by myself) in her room.

I didn't finish any of my three assignments, so there goes that. (I caught up on Parks & Rec and HBO Girls instead so it's okay) Oh, p.s If anyone is wondering, I don't think Tom Waits is actually dead. p.p.s 'Monomania' rulez. p.p.p.s In a non-creepy way, the girl at Vic Books has great eyebrows and she is FLAWLESS Yours, L.F.Y.G [Abridged]

butt-out Dearest Non smokers.

May I ask why you hate us so? I understand that uni has banned the smoke but it does not mean you can be inconsiderate, mean, hurtful and jeering towards those who do smoke. I feel like its our choose what we do to our lungs, our taste and our fitness. And i know i personally try to make sure i don't smoke around people so that they don't catch the dreaded "secondary

 LETTERS

letters smoke". Does not mean you have to remind us of what we're doing to ourselves Coz trust me that doesn't help. That adds to the guilt because you know you cant stop. I started socially, most the people i know started socially and it was a way to be cool a couple years back. We do not care for your shit talking so please. Please stop telling us that we're wrong. Spend one day in our minds and maybe you'll see clearer.

Sincerely, A Just starting Smoker

# HUMBLEBRAG Kiaora I wonder how many other students had letters in January 2013 telling them they had won a VUW academic award and then had not further news about their book/money (prize) or an award ceremony ?

Thinking that I may have had a further letter regarding details of my prize I made contact with my dept (Eng lit) only to be told that there was no prize or money. But don't fret - as their will be a note made on my academic record to note the fact that I had won an award. What a bunch of dippty shits. Talk about lack of communication from VUW and false advertising in the promo brochures on awards etc.. I can only presume that any money that has been harvested or bequeathed from ex students under the guise of supporting future generations etc.. is being journalled into a management cost centre for their own use. How many other students have found the same ? And how long has this been going on? I would suggest they come clean with the alumni and tell them that they don't actually allocate the funds they donate.

DAVID WHO? Dearest Socialient, Do you have no shame? DO YOU HAVE NO SHAME? This weekly 'student' publication is often filled with boring rhetoric straight from David Shearer's latest press release. I would expect more from a free thinking student magazine like this.

Why is it that Salient editors are always leaning to the left? First it was Asher and

that guy with the small face, and now it's you two: Stella and Molly. How are we meant to win the next election with public opinion so unfairly swayed against us?

Please do more to present a fair and balanced issue.

Yours sincerely, Fucking pissed off and worried about the next election.

MANIC PIXIE BUTTERFLY GIRL Dear Space Butterflalient This letter is for the lovely lady space butterfly I met in the Easterfield elevator on the way to my Lab, I saw your tumblr post.

Finding you to have a chat with seems to be pretty hard but if we meet again, the Great Space Butterfly willing, I'll buy you a drink or maybe some moon nectar.

Yours, That Dude with the Shirt.

DON’T KICK THEM WHEN THEY’RE DOWN Dear Failient Yes that's right perhaps you recognise the name that the Dunedin student magazine so cruelly calls you.

What I want to know is what the Hell man!!! Why are you taking this lying down?

Fight back with more than just the occasional seemingly witty letter back (they really aren't that clever TBH). Stop being walked over by the Critic just because it is funnier than you. Grow some balls, man up and fight back properly. I’m sick of being a ridiculed by Scarfies and I’m sure you are too. Show the Critic that we are not to be messed with. That is all.

Love and kisses The girl who has more balls than you

#THEVOTENZ Dear Te Ao Marama-lient, Both Alexandra and the stalwarts of ‘I’mnot-a-bloody-Pākehā’-dom could take a leaf out of Julia Whaipooti's article across from Alexandra’s. "What does it mean to be Māori in 2013?” Julia asks. “Well, I can't tell you that. I don't speak for all Māori... But I can tell you what it's like to live and breathe in

this space and time in my life." So while we might share some common ground in calling ourselves (and probably each other) Māori, neither of us feels the need to debate exactly what a Māori might ‘be’. Ngā mihi nui ki a koe e te rangatira e Julia, me ā kupu rerehua.

The problem I have with some non-Māori definitions of the word Pākehā is that they do just his, inciting unnecessary debate about what Pākehā means and distinguishing it from New Zealand European, as though they are different entities. Two distinct terms that carry a different political weight. ‘I am NOT Pear-key-hear, I am a New Zealand European…’ This has not come from Māoridom. My issue with Alexandra’s article is it reaffirms politically loaded definitions that ‘Pākehā’ carries in the Pākehā world.

It might be trying to promote togetherness, but reaffirming this political layer actually highlights the opposite.

In Māoridom Pākehā is just a word, just like the word Māori. They’re not traditional meanings but they work pretty well in the Māori language context. To promote togetherness, how about we just ditch the political weighting that only exists in te ao Pākehv?

Nāku iti nei nā, Te Raiona Dear Salient, It seems to me that Alex Hollis kind of missed the point of the Identity issue when she wrote an article telling people how they should identify themselves. Alex, stop telling people to check their privilege (which, incidentally, has nothing to do with your selfidentity, it's to do with your place in society) and check your sanctimoniousness.

Sincerely, A New Zealand European SALIENT LETTERS POLICY 2013 Salient welcomes, encourages, and thrives on public debate – be it serious or otherwise – through its letters pages.

Write about anything you like: Beyoncé, puppies, or the metaphysics of space-time. Send us love mail, send us hate mail, send us party invites. We want it all. Letters must be received before 12pm on the Wednesday for publication the next week. Letters must be no longer than 250 words.

Pseudonyms are fine, but all letters must include your real name, address and telephone number, these will not be printed. Please note that letters will not be corrected for spelling or grammar.The Editor reserves the right to edit, abridge or decline any letters without explanation.

Letters can be sent to: Email: letters@salient.org.nz Post: Salient, c/- Victoria University of Wellington Hand-delivered: the Salient office, Level 3, Student Union Building (behind the Hunter Lounge)

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SALIENT 'S YOU

NOTICES CAREERS AND JOBS

For more information about IBP and to register, please visit our website: victoria.ac.nz/

Details on CareerHub: careerhub.victoria.ac.nz Applications closing soon: Organisations

international/buddy

GUITARIST WANTED

American University info session coming up!

Guitarist looking for musicians to jam/write

the world! A must do while at Vic!

Closing

Westpac

May 8

Assurity Consulting

May 10

Disney International Programs

May 12

Google

May 15

IBM

May 18

songs/gig with. Arctic Monkeys/Libertines/ Strokes sorta stuff. I've been looking for people to jam with but haven't really found anyone! Hit me up on Facebook if you're interested! Cheers Oscar Doorne.

REFUGEE BACKGROUND STUDENTS

ANZ

May 19

Honeywell

May 20

Tonkin & Taylor

May 24

 Every week day 4-6pm, there is a drop-in

AIESEC

May 25

centre in on the 10th Floor of the Murphy Building

Intergen

May 30

Scott Technology

Vic OE – Vic Student Exchange Programme

Drop in centre for refugee background students.

in room 1010, to help you with your studies.  The Centre is run by senior students, and you

 Earn Vic credit, get Studylink & grants, explore  Monday May 13th – 11.30am American University (Washington, USA)  All sessions will be held @ Easterfield Building, Level 2  Weekly seminars on Wednesdays, Level 2, Easterfield Building, 12.50pm Email: VicOE@vuw.ac.nz Website: victoria.ac.nz/exchange Visit us: Level 2, Easterfield Building Drop-in hours: Mon- Wed 1-3, Thurs & Fri 10-12

VIC UNI FILM SOCIETY

can drop by at any time for help with essays,

NZICA

studying for a test, dealing with a tutor, planning

Like watching films? Come hang out with us at

Xero

your degree, practicing an oral presentation etc.

Film Society! This week we're watching Alejandro

 You can also just drop by to de-stress, get

Jodorowsky's The Holy Mountain (1973), the

something to eat and have a chat.

story of a thief's twisted quest for the secret of

 For more info email vuw.dropin@gmail.com

immortality. A psychedelic journey packed full of

Palantir Technologies

May 31

Transpower

June 1

AECOM New Zealand

June 3

Opus

June 7

Fisher & Paykel

June 17

Deutsche Bank

June 27

Koorb Consulting

June 30

Employer Presentation

Date

Curtis McLean

May 8

Palantir Technologies Xero

May 17 May 20

esoteric symbolism, astrology, re-birthing rituals,

Victoria University TaeKwon-Do Club (WTF style)

Date

Campus Careers Expo

May 16

ICT Careers Expo

May 17

in and spit you out.  When: 6:30pm, Thursday 9th May  Where: Memorial Theatre, Student Union Building

Interested in Taekwon-Do? New to Taekwon-Do?

 Cost: Gold coin entry or $15 for annual

Learned Taekwon-Do before? Come along and

membership (entry to all films for the year).

join us! Great way to keep fit and have fun!

 Popcorn and soft drinks provided.

 Training times:

 Check out our FB page: http://www.facebook.

Tuesday 6.30pm - 8.00pm Long Room, Victoria

com/groups/vicunifilmsociety

University Recreation Centre Saturday 3.30pm - 5.00pm Dance Room, Victoria University Recreation Centre  What you need: Drink bottle, comfy trousers/

Careers Expo

and zoo animals, The Holy Mountain will suck you

shorts, t-shirt. We are affiliated to the TaekwonDo Union of NZ (TUNZ) Contact us: vuwtkd@hotmail.com

VUW FRENCH SOCIETY

VICTORIA INTERNATIONAL DEVELOPMENT SOCIETY BANANA EATING COMPETITION Victoria International Development Society: Fair Trade Banana Eating Competition!  Friday 10th May, 1.00-1.30pm, Student Union Building Atrium.

Come watch hungry students scarf free bananas in honor of Fair Trade Fortnight 2013! Four

LIFECHOICE WELLINGTON LifeChoice Victoria meeting 1pm Wednesday May 8th in SU217. Whatever your views, please do come along and join us for a discussion of some of the facts around foetal development, their relevance to the abortion debate and creating a culture a life.

INTERNATIONAL BUDDY PROGRAMME International Buddy Programme applications for Trimester 2, 2013 are now open! Volunteer to help a new international student settle into Vic and Wellington life, while also engaging with other local and international students on campus!  Build international friendships!  Attend IBP Events!  Earn VILP Points!

46 

The VUW French Society is proud to present: the

competitors will be given 3 minutes to eat up to

VUW Language Ball for 2013! This is a fantastic

one bunch of All Good bananas. The winner takes

opportunity for all language students to celebrate

home an awesome Fair Trade prize pack, including

the rich and diverse range of languages offered at

an All Good Organics t-shirt, Fair Trade fizzy drinks

Victoria. Partners are most definitely welcome.

and more! Competitors, show up early for your

 When: Saturday 08 June, 7.30pm to 11.30pm.

chance to display your banana munching chops.

 Where: D4, 143 Featherston St Wellington.

Buy Fair Trade and good things will happen!

 Tickets: $40 each.

Your ticket will provide you with: 1 complimentary drink*, nibbles, a professional photographer, a professional DJ. Tickets go on sale Wednesday 01 May at the LLC (level 0 Von Zedlitz). There are limited numbers so get in quickly! Please note: the dress code is formal and you must be 18 or over to attend (bring certified ID with you).  For more information you can email frenchclub. vuw@gmail.com

Notices Policy: Salient provides a free notice service for all VIctoria students, VUWSA-affiliated clubs not-for-profit organisations. Notices should be received by 5pm Tuesday the week before publication. Notices must be fewer than 100 words.

For-profit organisations will be charged $15 per notice. Send notices to editor@salient.org.nz with 'Notice' in the subject line.

SALIENT 'S YOU

VBC

Tune in to your student radio station! 88.3fm or stream online at vbc.org.nz

tues

James River!

Podcasts + Mixtapes

DC Current w/ Duncan & Cam

THE BEEF! w/ Matt & Alex

Grace Ace Fills the Space

INFIDEL CASTRO w/ Philip McSweeney

SALIENT w/ Molly & Stella

sun

DJ MP3 Player beep....

DJ MP3 Player beep....

Raw Politik Emanuel & Neas

Brooke

Wake N' Bake w/ Pearce & Duncan

Joe McKay

Maddie

Michael Berriman

The VBC Hip Hop show w/ Fabulous G

Alex, Michael & Nick

Dave & ED

Thursday Drive "Add w Aidan"

Josh King's Drive show

Craig & Pals

The Vinyl Countdown

The B-Side Revolution w/ Richard

Making Waaves w/ Kariiba & Guests

Diddakoi w/ Keszia Tyler

Railroad Blues w/ Ray

fri

w/ Sally & Maddie Sweet music, news, interviews & giveaways

w/

Domo Arigato Mr Robato

2–4pm

The Imposters

4–7pm

w/

What Is ART? w/ Virginia

Joe Sloane Drive

Ctrl/Alt/Dlt w/ Keegan &

7–9pm

Olivia

The Beatcomber w/ Trent Vile

Tbodega he Mixtape w/ Sam!

Slim Picking's w/ Slim & Bunny

The Drop w/ Gussie

Train-Spotting w/ Holly & Stumble

PRE-LOAD w/ Matt &

9–late

12–2pm

The

VBC Breakfast Show

sat

thurs

7–10am

weds

10–noon

mon

Missed out on getting a show? Spaces come up throughout the year; email your interest to stationmanager@vbc.org.nz

George Armstrong Dead Air

Chris Gilman The Night Shift

THAT'S SO METAL Mitchell

Compulsory ECSTASY w/ Kim & Nic

DANCE! DANCE! DANCE! w/ Tim

rohan

Sunday Fly Lorenzo &

w/

gang

friends

GIG GUIDE mon 6

tues 7 2 for 1 Margherita Pizzas

Happy Hour 4-6pm Geographical Society Quiz Mighty Quiz 6:30pm

mighty mighty Chris Martin: Spot the Difference

san francisco bathhouse

Ewen Gilmour: Midlife Crisis

Jello Biafra & Guantanamo School of Medicine

the

bodega meow cafe

weds 8

Big Band Night 8pm (free)

Latin Club 8:30pm (free)

Miles Calder & The Rumours (free!)

9:30pm Truckfighters w/ Red Sky Blues Sonic Delusion w/ Matiu Te Huki & Amiria Grenell The Jam 8pm (free)

Happy Hour 4-6pm Slam Poetry

Matt Langley $15-20

Best of the Fest 10pm ($20)

fri 10

sat 11

Happy Hour 4-6pm After school special

Dr Sketchy (4-7pm)

LORDE (sold out)

The Departure Club $5

Dai Henwood: Adapt or Dai

Urzila Carlson: The Long Flight to Freedom

Late Laughs

Brockaflower

Afrika Bamaataa

saurus-rex and

The Blueberry Biscuits, The Digg, Uncle Silverback, Peachamp Collective

Meow Sessions (free!)

Muzai X Wellington ($10) 8:30pm

puppies

SANDWICHES

thurs 9

Spring Break + Signer ($10) 9pm

Propaganda (free!) 10pm

 47

Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re working to get a tertiary discount on public transport. This is your chance to tell decision makers whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s needed and hear about the campaign.