Salient Issue 01 - Volume 87

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about us

Salient is published by, but remains editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Student's Association (VUWSA). Salient is funded in part by VUWSA through Student Services Levy. Salient is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

The views expressed in Salient do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor, VUWSA, or the University.

EDITORIAL FRESHER

Welcome freshers to our first issue of Salient!! If you don’t already know, Salient is Te Herenga Waka’s student magazine. We’re here to keep you entertained (and distracted) from the University work that you should be doing.

So, I’ll give you the rundown on the issue. In its essence, you can see this issue as an overall guide to your first year experience. Looking for the best bar to take a date? We can help you. Looking to get the best gossip? We got a Podcast about it.

Looking for where you can find a $5 lunch on campus? Author Stephen Woods will take you on an adventure around all of our campuses, letting you know whether the elusive $5 lunch has survived the cost of living crisis. Author Pippi Jean takes you on an unhinged journey around the odd, interesting and liminal spaces on campus. Sabrina Gates gives you an overview of the go to Wellington venues.

In our arts and culture section: we have a cheeky little interview with ‘Big Mike’ the man behind VUW: Meaningful Confessions. You’ll find an investigation into who Puck is, and why he’s the Salient cryptid. Jia Sharmer reviews Casual Healing’s newest song, and Guy van Egmond reviews Fringe Festival show

bird of the week

Hoiho (Yellow-Eyed Penguin)

The Cyranoid. But let's be honest, you’re all probably here for the puzzle page which has been revamped by this year's Salient team.

Enjoy the issue, and enjoy first year you freshers.

Phoebe Robertson

Editor in Chief

New Zealand's South Island is home to the beautiful Hoiho, also known as the yellow-eyed penguin. With its bold yellow eye band and vibrant appearance, this species conservation status is in serious trouble. Only a few thousand remain in the wild, making conservation efforts critical for their survival. These remarkable creatures are solitary by nature, often building their nests in coastal forests or scrublands. They have a diet mainly consisting of fish and squid, and are known for their impressive agility as they navigate through the coastal waters. Conservation efforts strive to protect this unique species, emphasizing the crucial balance between human activity and preserving the Hoiho's natural habitats.

LOVE

Kelburn Croquet

Kia Ora from the Kelburn Croquet Club down over the fence from Kelburn Park. Are you looking for something new to try this year? Do you have an eye for accuracy and a sharp tactical mind? Well why not give croquet a go?! It's a ruthless, addictive game with a strong youth scene that can be as competitive as you want. Club days are Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday but you can play whenever. We also offer free coaching from a national level player and VUW student. If any of that sounds like a bit of you, feel free to contact us on Instagram @kelburncroquet. You can find us by walking up the stairs above the tennis courts on Salamanca road.

Share your thoughts

Got some strong opinions on Salient or just want to stir the pot? Send your love letters to letters@salient.org.nz to have them published every week.

editor@salient.org.nz asking for a ticket !! Go do it now !! Be sure to catch Mia McKenna Bruce's award-winning performance, hailed at Cannes and the British Independent Film Awards. This critically acclaimed film has received three BAFTA nominations, including for outstanding British film.

WED | Valhalla | 8pm

Esbee, Fugue State & Caught Inside

Three fast-growing staples of the Pōneke indie scene—Esbee deliver bouncy and melodic indie rock, Fugue State a hint of the classic indie ‘Dunedin sound’; and Caught Inside melodic, politicised post-punk. Valhalla will provide added grunge.

Doors $10 | Online $15

FRI | Meow | 10pm

Dance House ft. KC Lights (UK)

Dance House returns to Pōneke after three sold out editions. Its fourth iteration (and biggest headliner) promises to be a ‘new type of house music event’, billed on an all-inclusive ethos and a welcoming dance floor. Find a mosh where you don’t just dance, you groove

Tickets ~$30

THUR | Meow | 8pm

Machinedrum

Machinedrum is the project of California-based music producer Travis Stewart, who has been pushing bass and electronica in exciting directions for a decade. Expect a heady mix of breakbeat, jungle, drill and glitch-hop, a sweaty mosh, and a friendly smoking area.

Tickets $39

SAT | Bedlam & Squalor | 9.30pm

Tāwhiri Funk / Sulco d’Alma

Funk, soul and jazz lovers, this one's for you. In a hidden-away loft bar, Tāwhiri Funk will heat up the dancefloor with influences from James Brown to Tribe; Sulco d’Alma will take the night home with infectious, syncopated South American samba.

Doors $20 | Online $15

Dartz

Join much-loved Wellington punks Dartz for their sophomore album release tour at San Fran! You’ll find a reckless, high octane set with lyrical themes ranging from shit cars to shit beer. Split a pack of Marlboro Reds with your richest flatmates, and take to the balcony.

Tickets $30 + digital album

SUN | Newtown! | 9am - late

Newtown Festival

Aotearoa’s biggest free music festival/ street fair returns in 2024! Honestly this thing is always huge—it runs from 9am ‘til late, involves a dizzying amount of artists, is not-for-profit(!!), takes up 11 blocks, and tends to pull about 80,000 revellers. See newtownfestival.org.nz for more information.

2024 News Bingo

NZ comedian gets canceled

Critic journalist convinces audience that they have a personality by doing heaps of drugs Welly Phoenix win league, lose in playoff final

At least one NZ by-election

Aliens drop (for real)

Matt Tucker buys a new motorcycle

America invades China/ Taiwan

Chloe Swarbrick doesn't get Green Co-Leader

Welly On A Plate drops a hot dog

Ke$ha will have a resurgence

Russia-Ukraine Peace Deal

Study shows Wellingtonians most single in the country

Salient gets sued (for real)

David Seymour + Winston Peters get in a fist fight at a press conference

National ends year +3 points in the polls

Trisha Paytas has child the same month

King Charles dies

New street cat drops

Fix and Fogg drop a new nutter butter variant that makes the country go wild

Gen Alpha eats more Tide Pods Editors of Salient and Canta fall in love

IT’S THE FUCKING NEWS

26.02.2024

Salient’s Summer Story Roundup

Ethan Rogacion (hE/him)

If you’ve been out of Pōneke over the summer, or have just been tuned out of the news, chances are you’ve missed a few stories. Don’t worry, though— Salient has you covered with a recap of a few big news items from the capital over the past few months, so you can reaaally get into some Discourse with that guy in your POLS lecture!

Government Forges Ahead With Treaty Principles Bill Despite Wide Disagreement

Continuing a decades-long tradition of excluding Māori from discussions concerning Māori, the coalition Government is continuing to pursue its plan of introducing legislation to redefine the principles of Te Tiriti o Waitangi. As agreed in the coalition deal between National and Act, the Government plans to table a Bill later this year which, among other things, asserts that Māori ceded sovereignty to the Crown in 1840 and that the protections in Te Tiriti apply to all New Zealanders. These new principles contradict decades of legal decisions by the Waitangi Tribunal.

This proposal has been followed by wide backlash and controversy, including a march of over 5000 people in Pōneke on Waitangi Day. Similar hīkoi also took place across the motu, and are set to continue as the Bill progresses through the House. Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has stated that National will not support the Bill beyond the Select Committee phase, but opponents are calling for him to pull support immediately.

Council Considers Character Protections and Whether Students Should Get Bronchitis as a Rite of Passage

Wellington City Council is currently in the midst of a heated debate on the future of housing in the city. The district plan—the rulebook for urban planning in Pōneke—is set for its first shake-up since 2000. Currently, the plan is before an independent hearing

panel, which has been seeking public consultation. Chief among the current recommendations are suggestions to widely expand character protected areas in the city. This despite the fact that much of the housing stock in proposed character areas, according to a student living in one, is “shit and needs to be bowled down.” Character protections would greatly limit housing development in these areas, meaning that future students may be forced to settle for flats that are well below-par. The panel’s recommendations have been criticised across the political spectrum, including Wellington Central MP Tamatha Paul and Chris Bishop, Minister of Housing.

Council will vote on the IHP’s recommendations on March 14.

“World’s Most Moral Army” Continues Indiscriminate Bombardment on

Densely Populated Civilian Centre

WiLL iRVinE (hE/him)

RAFAH, OCCUPIED PALESTINIAN TERRITORIES

On February 12th, as US and international eyes were fixated on the Super Bowl, the Israeli Defence Force (IDF) began the final phase of its assault on the Gaza Strip, bombing the last remaining “safe space”. Throughout the span of the recent Israel-Hamas war, which began on October 7th last year, the Israeli state has issued repeated warnings to Palestinian civilians, urging them to evacuate to Rafah in order to avoid the worst excesses of the conflict. The city, which is about the size of Wellington’s Miramar Peninsula, now hosts a staggering 1.4 million people, most of whom are refugees. Many of these individuals were assured by the Israeli military that they would be safe in Rafah. Now, they are left with nowhere to run as Israeli bombs rain around them.

The Gaza Strip is a 365-square-kilometre strip of land on the Mediterranean Sea that, alongside the West Bank, makes up one half of the widely unrecognised State of Palestine. Since 2006, Gaza has been under blockade by the Israeli military, which imposes a neartotal embargo on all import and export of goods. Because of this, Gaza is deeply impoverished, with median salaries of just $336 USD.

More broadly, tensions have existed between Israel and Palestine since 1948, when the State of Israel was founded on existing Palestinian territories in the former British Empire. In that year, Israel engaged in a campaign of ethnic cleansing (the Nakba, or “catastrophe” in Arabic) which forced more than 750,000 Palestinians to flee the country and systematically destroyed more than 500 Palestinian towns.

The current iteration of the conflict, beginning with Hamas’s October 7th terrorist attack on Israel, has seen more than 29,000 Palestinians killed, according to the Gaza Health Ministry. Of these, only an estimated 2500-8,000 were Hamas militants, meaning that a vast majority were civilian casualties, including a large proportion of children. This has led multiple organisations, including the South African Government, the New Zealand Green Party, and several United Nations bodies, to identify Israel’s actions in Gaza as a genocide. In South Africa’s case against Israel at the International Court of Justice, evidence was shown from multiple Israeli government ministers indicating intent to completely eliminate the Palestinian population in Gaza.

Indeed, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who leads Israel’s far-right government, has repeatedly called for Israel to have complete control over Gaza following their military campaign there. For many critics of Netanyahu, this is a goal that can only be achieved by the ethnic cleansing of the Palestinian people.

On February 16, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon released a joint statement with the Canadian and Australian Prime Ministers calling for a ceasefire in Gaza. Alongside this, the leaders expressed concern at Israel’s attack on Rafah, warning that attacking such a concentrated civilian population could have deadly consequences. UNICEF has predicted “an explosion in preventable child deaths which would compound the already unbearable level”.

Justice For Palestine spokesperson and co-convenor Samira Zaiton says that this is not enough, and the Government needs to take further action to protect Palestinians. Zaiton says that the Government needs to immediately resume funding for UNRWA, the UN refugee agency whose funding was halted after allegations of terrorism by the Israeli state. UNRWA maintains refugee camps across the Middle East that cater to more than 5.6 million Palestinians displaced by Israel’s genocidal actions. Zaiton and J4P also recommend that the Government enforces immediate sanctions on Israel, including ending diplomatic relations if they refuse to comply the a recent International Court of Justice ruling ordering them to prevent a genocide from occuring.

For more information and to support the Palestinian cause, readers can follow @just4pal on Instagram or visit www.justiceforpalestine.nz

School of Music Set To Make Some Noise… At The Library

Ethan Rogacion (hE/him)

In a joint statement, Wellington City Council and Te Herenga Waka announced their intention to move the New Zealand School of Music Te Kōkī from their iconic tiny yellow shack to Te Ngākau Civic Square. In the latest development in the years-long national music centre saga, the University stated that they plan for the NZSM to move to Te Matapihi—the maligned central library—“once strengthening and modernising work on the library is completed in early 2026.” The national music centre aims to bring the NZSM into a shared precinct alongside the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra (NZSO).

This occurs in the aftermath of wide staff cuts at the NZSM, and has stirred mixed emotions amongst the faculty’s supporters. One commenter on the ‘Save NZSM’ Facebook page argued that, “[c]reating a central Hub like this and being close to NZSO can only inspire and motivate…”, and added they were, “inspired by the vision but still grieving the incredible experience and world class staff let go.”

VUW’s Provost Professor Bryony James told Salient that, “The goal is for all of the NZSM to relocate in Te

Ngākau/Civic Square,” which will house “performance, teaching, and administrative spaces.”

“The University’s decision to progress Te Ngākau negotiations enables us to integrate discussion about the future use of NZSM Kelburn facilities in the context of this year's planned refreshment of the long-term property plan.”

Salient approached Quasi (the giant hand on top of City Gallery and the NZSM’s future neighbour) for comment, but did not receive a response.

New Nightclubs Enter Town to Little Fanfare

WiLL iRVinE (hE/him)

It’s common conjecture at this point that Courtenay Place is either dead or dying. Every few months, Stuff or The Post drags the corpse out to beat it around further. Frequently accused suspects in this murder include freshers, the pandemic, and (perhaps more accurately) price gouging by the small group of businesses that own most of the clubs.

Allegations of a dead club scene are not helped by the arrival of two newcomers on the scene, Bliss and St. Diablo. Bliss, a self-proclaimed “Bar & Cafe” which opened in October 2023, attracts few-to-no patrons even on a busy night, despite being the first stop along the eastward crawl down Courtenay Place. On its inception, Bliss seemed poised for success. It shares a name with NZ’s “national drinking song”, has decently priced drinks, and offers the unique phenomenon of regular Bollywood nights, a genre not often seen in town. However, these advantages seem squandered. Bliss has had the whole summer to attract a regular clientele, and seems to have done exactly the opposite. Don’t expect them to be around for long.

St. Diablo seemed to be the hot new bad boy on the scene. Operated by Epic Hospitality (owners of Shady Lady, Eva, El Barrio, and Vinyl) the Mexicanthemed club opened in late January with a muchpromoted opening event. While still early in its life cycle, very few of the town-goers consulted by Salient seemed to be headed to St. Diablo, or even have any idea what it was. Furthermore, from observing the club’s Instagram stories, the dance floor seemed to be sparsely populated and filled with a largely 30+ clientele. For the time being, Salient readers may have to suppress their hopes of an authentic Mexican fiesta.

Reports of Courtenay Place’s death may be greatly exaggerated, but they’re certainly not helped by the perceived failure of its two newest entrants.

PICTURED:

Quasi plays "Careless Whisper".

Opinion: The Wellington Phoenix Men are winning, for once. It's time to support them.

dan moskoVitz (hE/him)

The Wellington Phoenix Men are top of the league. In the seventeen-year history of the club, that sentence has maybe been typed twice.

For a club who are usually mediocre at best, this is uncharted territory. The last time the Phoenix were top of the league was nine years ago. What’s more, Wellington are the only club in the competition to have never won a trophy. Teams added as recently as 2019 and 2020 have titles to their name. This season, Wellington might finally get one.

As such, there’s never been a time when the Nix deserve your support more.

Their atmosphere is one draw. Unlike most sports in Aotearoa where you sit down and quietly watch the game, the Nix’s active support - the yellow fever - is up and vocal all game long. This includes a delightful array of chants, including “seagull, seagull, seagull” (when you see a seagull) “we’ve got the ball” (or alternatively, "we've lost the ball”) amongst more commonplace chants.

It’s an experience unlike anything else in NZ sport.

There’s an Auckland-shaped threat on the horizon too. For their seventeen years of existence, the Nix have been the only Kiwi club in the competition. Next season, Auckland, backed by billionaire Bill Foley are set to join the competition, making the Phoenix underdogs to Auckland before they’ve even kicked a ball.

So who would you rather back? Billionaire-backed JAFAs or your new local team defying the odds?

Come down to a game at the cake tin - you won’t regret it.

The Wellington Phoenix play Adelaide United on Sunday the 3rd of March, 5pm. Tickets can be purchased from Ticketek and can cost as little as $20 for students. There are also free tickets available from VUWSA’s Offices.

Greens hold Lambton Ward after special votes counted

dan moskoVitz (hE/him)

You would forgive Karl Tiefenbacher for celebrating on Saturday night.

On Saturday, he won a seat on the city council in the by-election to replace newly-elected MP Tamatha Paul. On Wednesday, he lost it. Geordie Rogers, his Green Party competitor won Lambton Ward thanks to special votes, which are not included in the preliminary count.

Mr Rogers, 24, is best known as the current Renters United president. On Saturday Mr Tiefenbacher, 55, founder of Kaffee Eis and running as an independent, preliminarily beat him by 621 votes.

A day later more votes were tallied. Mr Tiefenbacher’s lead became just 164 votes, with 590 left uncounted. An unassailable lead suddenly became assailable.

The swing continued its trajectory. On Wednesday, Mr Rogers won in the final count by a 45-vote margin.

The results are still a shot across the bow for the Greens, given Ms Paul previously held Lambton with the largest margin in the city, and the recent general

election wins in Wellington Central and Rongotai. Turnout was low at 25.47%, potentially contributing to Mr Rogers’ close shave.

Mr Tiefenbacher’s key pitch was to stop wasteful spending, including the Golden Mile and cycleways, while focusing fully on investing in infrastructure projects.

Mr Rogers, in contrast, ran a campaign around cheaper housing, decarbonisation, and investment in public transport and infrastructure.

The results mean the status quo should continue on the council, given Mr Rogers should follow Ms Paul’s footsteps and vote progressively.

Given the tight margin, it would not be unheard of for Mr Tiefenbacher to request a recount.

However, according to the 2022 WCC Candidate Handbook, recounts usually only occur “when a result is very close, i.e. less than 5-10 votes, depending on the size of the election.”

Looming Water Shortages Risk Sending Students

Half-Flushed Up Shit’s Creek

JamiE cLUmPas (hE/anY)

As students descend back on to the city, it looks like Wellington has dodged a bullet—for now. Latest assessments show that the risk of the city moving to more extreme water restrictions has dropped by almost half since January, but authorities warn we are not out of the woods yet.

Wellington Water has been warning of acute shortages of treated water since the start of summer, and have put restrictions in place.

Most of Wellington is on a level two water warning, which only bans the use of outdoor irrigation systems.

The likelihood of a shift up to level three water restrictions has dropped from 76% to 43%. Level three would see all outdoor water usage banned.

However, students already concerned about their flatmates’ hygiene should thank their chosen deity that the risk of level four has dropped to 17%, down from 33%. Level four requires a reduction of all household water use, urging a maximum of two minutes for showers and only one load of laundry per person each week.

If a level four level is reached, Wellington Region Emergency Management (WREMO) would likely step in to declare a water emergency. It has been warned that areas of Wellington could temporarily have their water shut off entirely.

WREMO has recommended Wellingtonians store 140 litres of water each in case of these shutoffs; a collective 500,000 for the approximately 3600 students moving into university accommodation.

Accommodation services are confident, however, that the university’s reserves are adequate, with a spokesperson telling Salient “the University has two 90,000L water tanks on the Laby and Kirk buildings on the Kelburn campus, as well as two emergency water tanks which hold 45,000L.”

VUW management have maintained a relationship with WREMO and Wellington Water, and say they are

prepared for possible increases in the risk of shortages in halls.

To reduce the university’s water use, students have been encouraged to use the half-flush function on campus toilets, and to take shorter showers on campus and in halls.

Works to fix leaks on Vic campuses were completed last year, however students and staff have been urged to contact property services should they see “any unexpected running water” on campus.

A spokesperson for Wellington Water told Salient that the improving situation means student’s can breathe a sigh of relief. “Our message to students is the situation is stable and we expect there will be adequate water supply for the residence halls and campus.”

Even though the situation has cooled, the spokesperson warned that the risk of increased levels has not subsided entirely; “If usage peaks, or there is a major outage or a reservoir went unexpectedly offline, this could have significant impact on the network, and an escalation to level 3 or even 4 is still possible.”

Maintaining a buffer between water capacity and demand is essential to avoiding shortages in case of unplanned outages. Estimates show that as much as 45% of Wellington’s treated water is lost to leaks, severely impacting the ability for the agency to keep the system resilient. When Auckland’s leakages crossed over 13%, it was described as a "serious event" that "needs attention".

The crumbling state of our pipes is a direct result of council underfunding, with Wellington Water admitting that investment in replacing the pipes has “not kept pace with the number of pipes nearing and exceeding their operational lives.”

With council’s narrow left-wing majority secured by Green candidate Geordie Rogers’ victory in last week’s council by-election, debate will continue—the council is so far relying on a controversial agenda of asset sales to pay for long-overdue investment in our Wai.

THE WEEK IN review

Government Announces ‘Full Force’ Benefit Sanctions

Early in the week, PM Christopher Luxon and Minister for Social Development Louise Upston announced a ramp-up in sanctions and penalties to beneficiaries. Initially, there will be ‘work check-ins’, targeted toward younger people on welfare. Then, a number of changes will be rolled out. Their effects will be varied, but in summary:

Those on jobseeker support who need to reapply will be forced to do so every six months, instead of each year. Increased scrutiny will be imposed, universally. New, non-financial sanctions will be added, alongside a traffic-light system, imposing penalties in increasing severity. The final, ‘red’ setting includes financial sanctions. Failure to meet obligations can mean a 50% benefit cut.

Upston, in a wide-ranging Q+A interview, conceded the shakeup of the welfare system could leave approximately 12% of sanctioned beneficiaries with a reduced benefit, and no income. She acknowledged this would negatively affect children already hungry or in poverty. Her suggestion to sanctioned beneficiaries:

"They might go with family, they might go with friends, there might be others that look after them."

Green MP Ricardo Menéndez March stated the government was taking measures to “penalise the poorest people” and, in doing so, building a “legacy of cruelty.” Labour MP Carmel Sepuloni pointed to their evidentiary use of outdated research: a February 2010 OECD Report. In 2019, the Welfare Expert Advisory Group report found:

“There is little evidence in support of using obligations and sanctions …to change behaviour; rather, there is research indicating that they compound social harm and disconnectedness.”

Green Party MP Fa'anānā Efeso Collins Dies During Auckland Charity Run

Heartfelt tributes flooded in following the sudden death of Green MP Fa'anānā Efeso Collins, who collapsed while taking part in the ChildFund Water Run in Auckland, last Wednesday.

Parliamentary, local government and private sector friends and colleagues on Wednesday were visibly overcome with emotion as they mourned his sudden passing. Labour’s deputy leader Carmel Sepuloni described Collins as a “lifelong advocate for the Pacific community, for the vulnerable, for the poor, for South Auckland”. Colleagues from across the aisle praised his consistent kindness and leadership—tributes described a man who was always focused

Collins studied education at the University of Auckland, published research on youth development and mentoring, and in 1999 became the first Pasifika president of the Auckland Student Association. He worked as a youth worker in South Auckland, was elected to the Papatoetoe Local Board in 2013, served as an Auckland Councillor from 2016 to 2022, and contested the 2022 Auckland mayoral elections as an independent candidate. In 2023 he ran in the Panmure-Ōtāhuhu electorate as a list candidate for the Green Party, ranking 11th on the Party list. He held the Samoan ali'i chief title of Fa'anana from the village of Satufia, Satupaitea in Savaii. He is survived by his wife Fia,

Efeso Collins; Wikipedia

Hui aa Motu, Rātana, Waitangi

Here's what went down.

passively aggressively shouted by Ashleigh Putt-Fallows (she/her)

Ngāpuhi-Ngāti Hine, Ngāti Whātua, Tūhoe

As we come to the end of our holidays and close to the end of the first two months of the year, I think it’s important to acknowledge what has already been happening in Aotearoa New Zealand’s political space. Here is summary (I do implore you to look into these in more detail):

Hui aa Motu, Rātana and Waitangi.

Hui aa Motu:

In late 2023, Kiingi Tuuheitia announced Hui aa Motu following a Te Paki o Matariki, a significant royal proclamation. It urged all Māori to unite and ensure all have a voice in holding the government accountable. It was a rare occasion, the first such national hui since 2012, which occurred over Māori water rights, and prior to that, the year of my birth. Historical moments.

Held 20th January 2024 at Tuurangawaewae Marae in Waikato or over livestream, hosted by Waikato Tainui. This hui came as a result of the response Kiingi had seen towards the new Coalition government, and one day after the ‘Treaty Bill’ was leaked to the public. Over 10,000 people attended, including representatives from various iwi. Notably, ACT and NZF were absent, drawing criticism. Five breakout sessions were held: Wellbeing of People Economy, Te Reo and Tikanga, Rangatahi, Treaty and Environment, and National Unity. Each had speakers, and space for anyone to share. Themes of Kotahitanga, Mana Motuhaketanga, Tuakiritanga and Wāheke dominated discussions, focusing on solutions amidst valid government criticism. The rangatahi forum in particular was big on moving away from Pōneke. Every conversation was critical, not all need to be shared externally, and some I don’t have space for in this. I suggest you read the full document produced, once available to the public.

PICTURED: Waitangi; image by Ashleigh Putt-Fallows

Parties normally would attend together, but Te Pāti Māori attended alongside Kiingitanga, while ACT's absence drew criticism. Despite a festive atmosphere, discussions at Rātana were intense, with speakers strongly questioning the new government and its Treaty bill. Shane Jones criticized kaikōrero for using Rātana for such debates, suggesting they be saved for Waitangi.

Waitangi:

Waitangi commemorates when Te Tiriti o Waitangi was signed in 1840 between iwi Māori and the Crown. To note the english and Māori versions are not the same, and are not interchangeable.

Held annually from February 4th to 6th in Waitangi, the event is inherently political, and this year was notably charged with palpable anger. There was a strong sense of Mana Motuhake, emphasizing Māori sovereignty and the importance of honoring te Tiriti o Waitangi. Tensions escalated. The three headed taniwha was likened to sand flies and spiders, memes were shared of them in a negative light, speakers from the government were booed, heckled and sung over. Our deputy PMs effectively suggested

amazing and at times infuriating experience; the overall feeling was that of throwing gasoline on a fire. As we saw beginning in 2023, Māori are mobilizing and unifying, something I can only imagine will continue in 2024.

Toitū Te Tiriti Mana Motuhake

I KN W TH S CA PU

you can trust me

When it’s 7am all of campus is a liminal space.

words & images suddenly appeared for Pippi Jean (she/her)

Hi! Welcome to O-Week. It’s officially the most week of your life. How are you feeling?! Why are you reading this??? Go do the crossword. Or rip the pictures out or something.

You’re still here? Alright then, but I don’t think I read the Salient for my first 6 months of being at Vic. When I was a fresher, I was in survival mode. Between classes, clubs, being sunburnt, and lying compulsively for no reason (wdym I love dnb!!!) I felt like there was no time for anything. Except free barbecues. Which were great. But sometimes the campus was so full of barbecues and the whole uni aesthetic I had in my head was sort of not as full of barbecues and all I wanted was to find a quiet, calm place to eat my lunch. Thanks VUWSA.

Since I’m writing this, I could be helpful, I guess. Here are some quiet, calm places to eat your lunch.

somewhere just

MacLaurin. This place feels like floating in outer space. A lab door to your right announces: RADIOACTIVE, do not enter unless authorized. The hallway is narrow, and also somehow dark while also brightly lit, like an x-ray of someone’s esophagus. Could not recommend the journey out here more.

Geophysics hallway,

past

What’s better than lunch with friends??? Toodle on down the steps around the side of the Kelburn campus gym, like you’re heading down to the carpark or Te Puni. Except stop. Wait a minute. Look carefully around you. These little guys are easy to miss. You can actually see them from inside the gym, on the bottom floor. And their silhouettes look evil. But when you’re outside the gym you can see that their leader has tiny buttons and jeans with a belt, and a cutout of a heart on his jeans. This experience, being outside the gym and looking at them closely, transforms you into a more open-hearted person.

Why are you in the New Zealand School of Music? Get out. Why are you here? Do not have your lunch here. You are not a music student. This is reminding you of high school. It is deeply moving and nostalgic. They have a sunny courtyard with a skylight in the middle leading to a suspicious musical cave. Also, a door in the middle of a staircase. This must be for big security reasons. Get out while you still can.

Ok, well, fuck. What the fuck.

(This is the Council Chamber in the Hunter Building).

Now that you’ve escaped, welcome to the TTR overbridge…this might not be the most obvious choice for a liminal space. It’s usually full of people (if you can call STEM students that) walking back and forth, and you can see the city in the windows, out towards Newtown and to the sea. But your shoes squeak. Right here on this surface. Try it. The noise echoes oddly. And it’s especially odd when it’s empty. I don’t know what this place looks like at night and I never want to know.

Welcome to the Classics Museum! Or at least, the hallway leading there. If you watched the new Disney Percy Jackson you’ll recognise that some things about the ancient Greek world are creepy, and this photo encompasses all of those things. Vase on wall. Man with pointy stick on wall. Nobody around to hear you scream if man with pointy stick on wall blinks and looks at you. I love the Classics department, but this hallway would probably freak me out to hang out in. Please continue through here to the museum.

Interesting green staircase. This is near the tuatara exhibit! I think.

Actually that’s wrong, this is like two levels down, but it feels like somewhere the campus tuataras should live. I suggest you find this place once and return to it in dreams.

The Treehouse! Next to the jazz and film schools, this floating masterpiece is actually less creepy and liminal and more jazzy and snazzy. There’s a private little bush walk leading down to the theater school courtyard, and a big fossil-looking rock and a view out to the turbine. There are usually people in there, so if you walk past and nobody is, something’s seriously wrong. Run.

Level 0 of the library. This looks like a great place to film a horror movie or recreate a horror movie except with real crimes. No windows down here. No people. It’s perfect for finding that ancient scripture you might need to get to Atlantis, or the answer to that one maths problem you haven’t thought about since primary school, like, if Ben buys two hundred dish soaps how many dishes does he have to wash to use up all the dish soap, or something.

The Bubble when it’s summer, or a public holiday. Actually I recommend going here at all times because there are usually free snacks and hot drinks, beanbags, and pets with dogs (check out @manawaorastudentwellbeing for updates). But I really do recommend going to the Bubble when it’s just past exam period and slightly into mid-trimester break. If you’re looking for a fix of haunting emptiness, there’s nowhere better than right then, here.

I hope you enjoyed your campus resource tour. Some icons (the @victoriarescue bunker) (Room of Requirement bathroom) (mythical tunnel connecting Weir House and the Hunter building) not included.

To be real with you guys, I love the Kelburn campus. Having just graduated, I miss it. Even if you’re an Architecture or Design or Law student, I hope you can get to know as many places as you can. It’s weird and liminal and cool and endless and bonkers. And it’s all yours.

FRESH FINDS FOR FRESHERS

explored and catalogued by Sabrina

Gates (she/her)

When I decided to make the move to Te Whanganui-ā-tara, my Wellington-native Dad was delighted. All his fond and foolish memories flooded into his mind’s eye as he recounted, "you know, I probably have a memory on every street corner of that place".

After three short years in this city, I already felt I could agree to his statement. Wellington can feel small, especially when it’s assignment season and campus feels like a never-ending liminal space. Do not give in to this! Seek the crevasses and hidden gems.

Coffee, Beer, and Food.

Start your residence here by enjoying the culinary creativity of the city, with so many options and cuisines. These are a drop in the harbour of what the baristas, chefs, and brewers of Pōneke have to offer.

Swimsuit, 5 Lombard Street

Tucked away in a cosy nook on Lombard Street, a friendly barista brews an unmistakably Wellingtonian oat milk flat white. Lombard Street provides the perfect seclusion for study, hungover debriefs, great coffee, and highly addictive cheese scones. Swimsuit's Dixon Street location is also great, its fishbowl interior and outside tables making it ideal for people watching.

The Rogue and Vagabond, 18 Garrett Street

It’s 4pm on Friday, and you’ve just finished your last class of the week. Outside the lecture hall, the sun beats down on the hustle and bustle of students excited about the new year. Situated just 10 minutes away in Glover Park is a crisp Ginger Fusion 4% beverage from Rogue. Accompanied by live jazzy tunes, picnic style seating, and impeccable vibes— you won’t want to miss out.

Cafe Laz, 112 Cuba Street

I couldn’t make this without shouting out my favourite kebab spot in the city. With a main restaurant in Newtown, they also have a quaint street stall at the entrance of Left Bank, just off Cuba Mall. The falafel kebab…lord…it’s so fresh and the portions are ridiculous.

Walks, Swims, and Picnics.

Te Whanganui-ā-tara packs a whole lot of natural beauty into a small harbour. Familiarise yourself with the Metlink app (the Catchy app is not-so-laggy alternative) and get exploring!

Brooklyn Windmill, entrance at 231 Aro Street

If you are new to Wellington, I challenge you and a friend to walk off the Sunday scaries with a march up to the windmill. Taking in Pōneke from above the hills changed my perspective of the city, and provided me a sense of direction and place—so important when moving somewhere new. If walking isn’t an option, the windmill is accessible by road so anyone can enjoy the view.

Central Park, Brooklyn Road

When I lived in town, I would trek this short loop every day to clear my head. I find immersing myself in nature helps to balance my mental health during the trimester, something that can be extra hard in halls. Not far from Kelburn Campus, Central Park is an inner-city oasis rich with native and exotic bush, streams, birds, and fungi of all kinds. It’s also a great picnic spot if you fancy!

Princess Bay Beach, Te Aranui o Pōneke

A rocky shoreline cradles this quaint sandy beach. Some of my fondest memories, of building bonfires and enjoying the best sunsets in Pōneke, have been made here. It’s a really special place. You may need to organise some transport to get here, but it is worth it.

Beyond Courtney Place

Post O-week, I’m sure many of you are more than familiar with the feral nature of Courtney Place on a weekend. Some can’t get enough of this stretch, and others will be left wondering—is that all there is of Pōneke nightlife? Do not fret, freshers, there is more to discover.

Meow, 9 Edward Street

Meow is my go-to venue, with a diverse variety of shows and indoor-outdoor spaces. I’ve found the sound to be a let down sometimes, but the energy is always there! It’s also great to support their fundraising mahi, such as the Music 4 Palestine gig last year which brought together community awareness and donations for Palestinian whānau. Keep an eye on their schedule to snag early bird tickets as door sale prices can break the bank.

Valhalla, 154 Vivian Street

One of the few places left with an authentically grimey club atmosphere where one can boogie into the early AMs. On a busy night, this spot is full to the brim. Here you will see the best (and worst) of the Pōneke DJ scene, which I highly encourage getting familiar with.

Moon Bar, 167 Riddiford Street

If you don’t check out Newtown nightlife at some point, you’re missing out. Moon Bar is where DJs as old as your Dad will be cranking the groove and funk tunes that only a seasoned mixer could spin. The crowd is local so it’s always best to respect the veterans by having a bloody good time.

These are just a handful of the spaces my peers and I have come to love in the city, but there are many more! Finding your own spots to frequent is half of the fun, so go forth and enjoy all that Te Whanganui-ā-tara has to offer!

About this week's Artist

This week's centrefold is designed by Edith Hopkinson Hi! I'm Edith, a recent graduate of communication design from Vic. I love graphic illustration, and as a half-Japanese person, I'm passionate about mixing cultural influences into my work. Currently, I work in hospo to make the insane Wellington rent prices, but my goal is to study postgrad abroad in 2025. In my free time I enjoy reading, buying shoes I can’t afford, and complaining about the back problems I’ve developed through my drawing posture. My commissions are always open, and you can find me at my (very new) art insta @eye.baggs!

Aries Taurus Gemini

You’re going through some big changes right now, and maybe feeling disconnected from who you are. Take the time to reflect on this now, it’ll help in the long run.

It’s the first week of study and you’re already overwhelmed just by picking your tutorials. Keep yourself grounded Taurus, and don’t forget to reach out for support.

Tensions are high right now. That’s okay, pressure makes you evaluate what’s important. Pay close attention to how you treat others and how they're treating you.

Cancer Leo Virgo

We get it Cancer, you’re smart, that doesn’t mean you have to answer every question in the tutorial. Let others have a chance to share their knowledge.

Would a lava lamp look really cool in your room? Yes. Do you need to buy groceries? Also yes. The ball is in your court Leo.

Investing in your wellbeing is investing in yourself. Buy fruits and veggies when you can and take the time for self care. Even if it’s just putting on sunblock.

Libra Scorpio

Weath is in your future, and by that I mean student loan payments have started. Go ahead shout the next round, your friends will cherish you for it.

Capricorn

Not everything is under your control Capricorn, you probably won’t get perfect marks on all of your assignments. Think of learning as a process and not just an achievement.

Try to see your classmates as potential friends, not just as competitors. You'll never know when you need to borrow some notes from them.

Aquarius

Look at you Aquarius, eager for the year of study ahead. Remember to not be too strict on yourself, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Sagittarius

You’re going to be meeting a whole load of new people, and not everyone is going to like you. Invest your energy into strong friendship with the people who do.

Pisces

What's your gameplan for the year Pisces? You’ll need strategies in place not to fall into the toxic cycle of procrastination and all nighters.

BROKE & HUNGRY

LOVINGLY TASTED BY

Stephen Woods (he/him)

the elusive $5 lunch

The brief is simple: find the best food options for $5 or under on Vic’s three campuses, when most everything costs more than a fiver these days. So, what exactly can you get with that rusty Edmund Hillary sitting in your wallet?

The Lab |

Kelburn & Pipitea

Home to the $10 hotdog, right in the middle of the Hub. This is technically the only on-campus option for the business daddies at the Pipitea campus, which also has the smallest library I’ve ever seen. Credit to them though, The Lab has a few options under the five dollar mark, especially sweet things.

The Good: They’ve got Big Cookies ($4.50), Brownies ($5), and even big chunks of Banana or Lemon Loaf ($4.50), tasting just like mum used to make. They all slap, too.

The Bad: Cheese Scones ($5) that turn back into dough while you chew them. You can also get Wedges ($5) from The Lab’s salad pop up in Kelburn, they’re fine, but I just always feel like I’m paying extra for unpeeled potatoes.

Subway |

Kelburn & Te Aro

The server at Subway gave me the dirtiest look when I ordered the Jaffles, and as a former Sandwich Artist™ myself I honestly can’t blame them.

The Good: Toasties ($3.50) are pretty great valuefor-money, and you’ll even have enough coin left over for a cookie. If you have no shame—and can afford to spend the extra dollar—you could get a Jaffle ($4.50). Salient’s editor-in-chief said she’d get one of these again if she didn’t have to order it herself. It does get marked down since Jaffle is the

Aussie term for a toastie though.

The Bad: Meatball Mozza Pot ($4.50) I refused to try this because of previous Subway meatball related trauma. Chipotle Quesadilla ($3), avoid this one, it’s just the tiniest amount of veg and cheese on half of a limp tortilla.

Krishna | Kelburn

Great value. All vegan. Big yoga vibes.

The Good: Their Vegan Sausage Roll ($5) tastes great despite being vegan, although it can be a bit dry if you don’t have any tomato sauce on hand. Their Samosas ($5) are amazing too, but they’re probably just a tad too small to see you through to dinner.

The Bad: Hot Chips ($4.50) only here because they charge an extra dollar for aioli.

Noodle Kim | Te Aro

There’s technically nothing on the Te Aro campus besides vending machines, but they’re also within spitting distance of Cuba street and have LEGO and miniature chairs on display in their library, so really I’m just super jealous of them. The only options on the same block of Vivian Street as the campus (excluding the dairy and Subway) are restaurants and Noodle Kim. And yeah, theoretically you could go into Ombra and get a Rosemary Focaccia starter ($5) but let’s be honest, the only reason you’d do that would be to say ‘what the focaccia talkin’ about?’ when they ask what else you’d like to eat.

The Good: BBQ Pork Buns ($4) are unfortunately the only option from Noodle Kim, and they’re obviously only for heathens or fans of the street artist Porker, which is no doubt why I liked them.

The Bad: They don't do fast-food, they just cook fast. Or so the sign behind the counter says.

Louis’ Cafe | Kelburn

This cute little hole-in-the-wall is an underrated spot. It’s affordable, central, and has a surprising amount of food and drink options considering its size. Or at least, that’s how I remembered it.

The Good: Muffins and Scones ($5).

The Bad: They don’t have anything else under $6 other than cookies. Maybe they’ll get more cheap options once the Trimester is underway, but overall I was pretty disappointed. I had high hopes. Even though I remember their wedges may or may not be McCains done it agains.

The Bad: The Musashi Protein Crisp ($4.50) is filling, but it’s a miserable textural experience. It’s like eating a ten-year-old LCM bar that’s covered in sawdust. The Jack Links Teriyaki Beef Steak Bar ($3.50) should be disqualified for being called a bar. You can also get two snack packs of chips for just under a fiver ($2.30 each) but two small handfuls of chips is a shit meal. If you do go for the chippy lunch though, just make sure to avoid the Cornados. They’ve got 0.5 of a health star, and you can taste it.

Ramsey Café | Kelburn

Milk and Honey | Kelburn

This wasn’t open at the time of writing this article, but it’s also technically a staff and post-grad only café, so most students wouldn’t dare step inside anyway.

This is the pipe dream. Sadly it’s been closed when I’ve been by, but respect to the VUW Chaplaincy for this spot. These guys know that religious conversion starts with the stomach.

The Hunter Lounge | Kelburn

The only pub on campus, and a gorgeous spot in the afternoon when the sun shines in. Can be a bit hard to find if you’re new to the Kelburn campus though.

The Good: They don’t have any $5 options, but they’re getting a special mention since you can easily convince a friend to go halfsies on a pizza, which they have a decent range of, and all for around ($10).

Vending | applies across all campuses

Got coins? Well too bad, because they all use PayWave now instead.

The Good: Pot Noodles ($3.50) typically only Maggi, although these tend to disappear pretty quick, at least from the vending machines in Kelburn. Bumper Bar ($4) decently filling, not pure sugar, and if you leave it in your pocket to get all warm it almost tastes fresh baked. OSM bars ($4) all manuka honey, oats, and hint of that good rice flour flavour. If you need to study like a demon there’s also always Red Bull or V (between $2 and $3.30) or whatever other guaranacaffeine mixture tickles your brainstem.

The Good: Toasties ($2) on Thursdays and Fridays, although I have no idea whether they’re any good. They also have bottomless drip coffee, as well as tea or hot chocs ($2). A gold coin lunch is unheard of these days, making it not only the cheapest lunch anywhere, but also the only place on any campus where you can buy food and a drink and still have money left over.

The Bad: They might tell you that Jesus loves you. If they’re open that is.

In conclusion, it seems like the five-dollar lunch is pretty much dead. The days of the dollar menu are over. And it’s the same all over Wellington; everyone I’ve talked to while working on this article has shared their own stories of inflation and the cost of living. Whether it’s $9 for a 6 pack of McNuggets, the ongoing shrinkage of Domino's Pizzas, or the fact that a petrol station pie costs over $6.

I’m not a nostalgic person, but I can still remember Burger King’s 3 for 5 deals from back in the early 2010s. Your choice of burger, side, and a drink for $5. Just their small fries alone cost more than that now. And food prices just don’t drop, not under capitalism, which means that ten years from now, we’ll probably be thinking the same sort of thing about today’s prices.

THE MAN BEHIND THE

MEANINGFUL

confessed by Phoebe Robertson (she/her), Big Mike (he/him)

Our meeting was locked in for a warm and sunny Wednesday morning. I knew two details about his appearance: the color of his shirt, and the cut of his hair. It felt like a scene from a spy movie, coordinating a secret meeting through DMs on Facebook. As I approached the man behind the VuW: Meaningful Confessions Facebook account (let's call him Big Mike*) I couldn't shake the feeling of being a secret agent. Should I have worn a wire? Would that be something a better journalist would do? Maybe I should have opted for an exposé instead of agreeing to meet. But here I am, flashing a smile and saying hello to Big Mike, the mastermind steering the VuW Confessions page.

We settle into our seats at The Lab, and I discover that Big Mike has been running the VuW Confessions page solo since 2019. However, he wasn't the one who initiated it—he joined in early 2019 when there was a call out for admins on the page. While many came and went, Big Mike stuck around and has been the sole owner and admin for three years now.

When I ask about his reasons for joining and persisting as the page's manager, he tells me that quitting is not in his nature. When the opportunity came up to be an admin for the confessions page, he seized it. He also had ulterior motives: he had submitted a confession about a girl that he desperately wanted to delete before the previous admins could see and potentially publish it. Witnessing the joy people get from the page is what keeps him going.

But as we keep talking, I realize that Big Mike's motivations go beyond just wanting to be part of student culture at Te Herenga Waka. He genuinely manages the page with the intention of giving students a voice and something to laugh or chuckle about—two values that Salient also strives for. Through running the page, he has learned that students don't feel comfortable approaching the university. In fact, a majority of the 1500 complaints currently sitting unpublished in his inbox are related to students having general questions about the university.

PICTURED: (both pages) Screenshots of VUW Meaningful Confessions Facebook page where students have consistently slandered Salient since 2019.

He is constantly bombarded with questions: where to find buildings, who to talk to about changing classes, and concerns about lectures. One prime example of this is the Victoria University of Wellington Law Students Society (VUWLSS)—Big Mike has had years of complaints about their events (such as their ball) and other issues that he is unable to address. Instead, he advises these individuals to reach out to their class representatives, lecturers, and head of faculty for resolution. He emphasizes the need for better communication between the university and its students.

I figure this is a good opportunity to ask Big Mike some tough questions. While he claims that his motivation for the confessions page is to create a positive space for students, I point out that not all of the submissions are positive. Big Mike explains that the page aims to reflect what students are actually talking about on campus—he wants to hear what is being discussed in the library. Life as a student isn't always easy or happy, and it's important to provide a platform for those who feel disaffected or unhappy with their experiences. If only positive content was published, it would not accurately represent the student voice. (Big Mike apologizes to the 2022 Law President because he believes he allowed too many negative submissions to be published about him).

Big Mike, who has been reading freshers' confessions for the past five years, shares with me a cyclical pattern he has noticed in the submissions. At the start of the year, many struggle to make friends; six weeks in, people are feeling down; and by the end of the year, they regret not reaching out more or talking to someone they were interested in. He reassures me that most people are just as awkward as I am and have similar goals of making friends.

As first-years, we shouldn't feel pressured to act like adults; it's okay to make mistakes. And as long as we're not actively pushing people away, we will eventually make friends since everyone else desires the same thing—friendship and connection.

I expected a casual and somewhat unproductive chat with Big Mike, who admitted to trolling Vic Deals before he was banned and became the head of the confessions page. However, our conversation delved into the shortcomings of Te Herenga Waka in supporting its students, and how Big Mike is trying to make a difference. When I asked him for any last advice, he said to take advantage of all opportunities during the first year, because there's no harm in asking out someone cute you've only known for two weeks. He also reminded me to practice safe sex and get regular STI tests, as there is typically an increase in confessions about first-years and STIs after the first month of classes.

*Names have been changed.

GROOVEgarden

Xavier Farrow-Francis (any/all)

From across the Globe

Fountain Baby by Amaarae (Ghana/USA)

Handily one of the most dynamic and vivacious albums released in 2023. It’s a straightforward record about enjoying life’s simple pleasures: love, money, sex, lesbianism. You know, all the best parts of living. But it’s one executed like no other of its sort. Amaarae’s girlishly sweet and silky voice is the glue that fuses some terrifically masterful production. Thumping afrobeats + lushly arranged beds of instrumentation = an undeniably arousing album that I guarantee will have you moving. If you’re a fiend for R&B, you seriously can’t let Fountain Baby slip under your radar.

Listen if you like: Doja Cat, Burna Boy, Rema, Victoria Monét Genres: Afrobeats, pop rap, alternative R&B

Esoteric by Kiss Facility (UAE/Egypt)

Sensual, melancholy, and full of intrigue, the debut EP from Kiss Facility – vocalist Mayah Alkhateri and producer Sega Bodega – is as beautiful as it is wistful. Almost entirely in Arabic, Alkhateri sings of loss and self-discovery across gossamer tracks with reverbsoaked vocals and guitars, sexy downtempo drums, and sweeping synths. Despite how mournful the subject matter can be, Kiss Facility steadily keeps the music graceful and alluring, tapping into the sound of alt-rock and trip hop from the late 90s and early 00s. Esoteric is ethereal, luscious and sincere, and is among the most fulfilling listening experiences 2023 had to offer.

Listen if you like: Massive Attack, Cocteau Twins, Eartheater Genres: trip hop, alternative rock, shoegaze, dream pop

SUPERNOVA by Ralphie Choo (Spain)

Trying to encapsulate the whirlwind of an album like SUPERNOVA is a bit of an impossible task, but I’m gonna do my best here. It’s probably the most instrumentally eclectic thing I heard last year. From the production side of things, Ralphie turns all these sharp corners yet none of them feel half-baked or too odd. It makes for a super fun listen and in the process, gives the album a sublime surprise factor. And he knows exactly what he’s doing too, as he swaggers all over each and every track, never wasting a moment to constantly flex his superb musicianship. Essentially, this album is just really really cool and if you’re looking for something familiar but perhaps with a twist, I couldn’t recommend SUPERNOVA enough.

Listen if you like: ROSALÍA, BROCKHAMPTON, Frank Ocean

Genres: neoperreo, glitch pop, experimental hip hop, Latin electronic

Heavy Heavy by Young Fathers (West Africa/UK)

As someone who wasn’t particularly well-versed with much African music, Young Fathers’ 4th LP completely blew my mind. Not to say that this is straight up classically-minded West African music, because that really isn’t the case. Heavy Heavy is a bit of art pop, a bit of psychedelic, with a lot of inspiration from gospel music and spirituals, and some industrial sprinkled in for good measure. Using West African music as a jumping point, Young Fathers crafted a record that is pretty special. It’s magnificent in size and sound, utterly awe-inspiring, touching at times, and completely powerful.

Listen if you like: Algiers, billy woods, U.S. Girls

Genres: post-industrial pop, West African music, neopsychedelia

Here in Pōneke

classics by charmort

This may only be one song in a list of full-length releases, but don’t let that dissuade you. charmort’s single released in March last year is quite simply divine. Its energetic and pulsating beats and synths wrap you up with a whoosh, as if they were whispering the secrets of the underground electronic scene to you. Chuck in a sample of Tom Hardy and we’ve got ourselves a wonderfully glitchy and futuristic dance track.

charmort’s new Viewfinder EP expands on the musical ideas presented on “classics” in fresh abundance. You’ll find yourself traversing techno, trip hop, club, and ambient realms just to name a few. Truly one of Welly’s finest creative young producers working now.

Listen if you like: Burial, Four Tet, Boards of Canada, Autechre Genres: future garage, ambient techno, IDM

Holding Patterns by Grayson Gilmour

Shimmering, wondrous, and exuberant are words that come to mind when I think of Grayson Gilmour’s fantastic Holding Patterns. This record, released via the iconic Flying Nun Records, feels and sounds so full of life. Even when removing the meditative/introspective lyrics from the equation, the instrumentation has a distinct quality to it that breathes experience. One of my favorite qualities of this album is its seamless ability to blend electronics with acoustics. The synths and bass all throughout strike you with awe, and paired with effervescent live drums and Gilmour’s soft and lilted vocals, Holding Patterns is an inspiring listen.

Listen if you like: Bon Iver, Japanese Breakfast, Rostam/ Vampire Weekend

Genres: art pop, indie rock, folktronica

Unearthed & Obsolete: Recordings from the Akai GX-4000db by re:ruby

Completely self-written, produced, engineered and recorded in part via a tape machine from the 70s, re:ruby’s Unearthed & Obsolete is a creative and technological feat. The 7 track project is a concept album written from the perspective of, and about the life of, the titular machine. The recordings are often frail and lo-fi, as Ruby explores themes of obsolescence and rebirth amongst flittery guitar and piano, and delicate vocal passages. It’s an introspective little album that packs an unexpected amount of universality despite its specific topic.

Listen if you like: beabadoobee, Mount Eerie/The Microphones, Big Thief Genres: indie folk, bedroom pop, singer-songwriter

(Soliloquy) & (Soliloquy) Remixes by TOČKA

Released in 2022, the debut album from experimental producer TOČKA is a mechanical, abrasive and wild ride. Spanning from harsh glitchy electronics to eerie ambients, it showcased the musical perspectives of an entirely unique up-and-comer. In 2023, a remix EP of the album aimed to showcase more electronic acts throughout Aotearoa, combining a slew of eclectic styles. With a bonus remix from TikTok ‘brain scratch’ sensation Galen Tipton, TOČKA’s (Soliloquy) projects were a sharp breath of crisp air, and allowed a platform for a collection of innovative new artists.

TOČKA’s brand new project Sarcologue is out now. Taking the caustic sonics of (Soliloquy) and inserting them into classical instrumentation, Sarcologue is complexly atmospheric and emphasises emotive piano arrangements.

Sarcologue is out now.

Listen if you like: Arca, SOPHIE, Aphex Twin Genres: experimental, deconstructed club, IDM

Casual Healing's latest release, “Up and Down”, is a vibrant anthem of resilience and optimism. Building from his Māori-Italian heritage and his iwi Ngati Kahungunu ki Wairarapa, Nikau Te Huki, or Casual Healing as he is known, delivers this song as a testament to his commitment to spreading positivity through his music.

Music has been Te Huki’s constant companion since he wrote his first song in year ten, igniting a spark of potential that has grown into a flourishing career. Casual Healing’s debut release “Amble” came out three years ago and stands as a testament to this, boasting an impressive 230,000 streams on Spotify. This release elevated Casual Healing from being a fresh face on the music scene to gaining prominence on mainstream platforms. Te Huki is also a part of the band H4lf Cāst whose 2020 single “Rusty Fan” further showcases his versatility and contribution to the music scene.

With the impending release of his new album Driftwood, Casual Healing has been teasing listeners with a series of single releases on each full moon starting in October. Tracks like “Mauri Tau”, “Hori House”, and “Chasing Rainbows” slowly build the album. “Live hard. Love hard. That’s how you write a good song,” Te Huki explained to the Salient team in a phone interview. This sentiment is reflected in his

‘Up and Down’ - Casual Healing

cheerfully discussed by Jia Sharma (she/her)

latest song “Up and Down” which exudes optimism. This track is an ode to uplifting others and persevering through life’s trials. The song’s rhythm and uplifting lyrics easily resonate when paired with the vibrant and nostalgic charm of the music video.

With colourful visuals and the audible smile in Te Huki’s voice, “Up and Down” encompasses Casual Healing's goal of creating songs that “make people feel like they want to be better people”. Casual Healing draws inspiration from the likes of Bob Marley, advocating for the power of kindness and compassion. “Up and Down” epitomises this ethos, and showcases both sides of the human experience; the triumphs and tribulations, the highs and lows.

“Up and Down” is certainly a release that should be highly anticipated. Casual Healing captures the essence of life and humanity through his music with a strikingly clear message. I appreciate how committed Casual Healing is to conveying his personal ideas through all facets of his art, and am beyond excited to listen to the rest of Driftwood when it comes out on March 8th. In Te Huki’s own words, he's “on the precipice of something massive,” and definitely is an artist you should be keeping your eye on.

You can wrap your ears around Casual Healing's tunes on Spotify now.

The Cyranoid Review

A tale as old as time: men can’t talk to women…

levelly appraised by Guy van Egmond (he/him)

Turning a five-act verse drama from 19th-century France into a digestible, Bridgerton-era story would be daunting for any theatre company, let alone one that grew from a class of undergrads. But you cannot say they didn’t give it a damn good try. It was wonderful to see a bigger ensemble cast at a Fringe show, with real energy and aspiration; their concept of swashbuckling steampunk poets, fighting with steel and sonnets alike, was truly delightful. Ultimately though, when it came to putting on a well-polished show, The Cyranoid was tarnished by its overambition.

The play was a fair adaptation of Cyrano de Bergerac, albeit quite condensed. The story followed Cyrano— decorated war hero and wordsmith—who the world has deemed disfigured and thus unworthy of Roxane, the woman he loves (thankfully, this adaptation did skip the bit where she’s his cousin). Squarely in the friendzone, Cyrano ends up ghostwriting love letters to Roxane for Christian, a pretty-boy soldier who lacks the wit to woo her. The Cyranoid gets the gist of all that, as well as cramming in at least seven songs, four other love affairs, three different accents and too many crude one-liners. Not to mention the Franco-Spanish War and the French Revolution (which inexplicably happened at the same time?) and an uncomfy amount of shock comedy based on queer sex and kink.

However, the delivery of lines very often served to muddy the already murky waters of the plot. Though almost everyone seemed to be mic’d up, this only caused more problems, as dialogue was lost to bumps, crackles and poor mixing. Most disruptive however, were the French accents that some characters put on. Clearly an over-the-top comedic bit, they were thick to the point of unintelligibility.

That said, when we could catch them, the moments of fourth-wall and TikTok comedy got a hearty cackle from the whole audience. The show absolutely did pull through at some points, including the original music by Nate Smyth, Teddy O’Neill’s consistently good lighting design, and Alanah Munn’s incredibly fun and romantic costume work—not to mention her wahine toa Captain le Bret, who was a strong supporting character.

The Cyranoid certainly bit off more than it could chew, when it came to scope and execution. That said, the joy coming off that stage was truly palpable; everyone brought an incredible passion and energy to the show. Though its time at Fringe has by now come to a close, I hope that Les Mécaniques stick around. I’d check it out again if they did.

This review has been condensed. Read the full piece at salient.org.nz

Circus of the Night

Tricks and Bits Galore

reviewed

by

Chloe Eichler (they/she)

The circus is in town, but it’s a little different than you remember…

Last week at the Fringe Bar, “Circus of the Night” presented ‘tricks and bits’—classic circus acts alongside risqué burlesque.

And what better way to start the show than with some bits? Allikins Rose’s performances are bombastic and cheeky (literally)—and with sequins, feathers, lace, and silk, they easily have the most extravagant costumes. Seriously, if I had a list of fabrics I associate with burlesque, I could tick off all of them. But the best part of their performances are the silliness—an often neglected part of burlesque, it invites the audience to let themselves go and have a great time, and it absolutely works for them.

And from the other half of the show, there are the tricks. The casual way Matthias Goed introduces himself is merely a ruse, behind which lies circus tricks which take years to master. From spinning flaming

knives on his forehead to standing on not one but two balance boards, the audience is stunned into nail-biting silence. There was a moment when the handle came off one of his knives—it may or may not have been a bit, but it played off well regardless.

The next circus act is Lisa Komatsubara, one of Aotearoa’s top jugglers, who begins her act without a word. Juggling seamlessly with three balls, then four, then five, all in time to the music—it was incredible. As impressive as the act is, it’s not quite tonally cohesive with the show—the lack of flair was especially pronounced since it followed Allikins Rose’s performance. Not only would Lisa’s act benefit from a more spectacular presentation, an act which requires that level of skill deserves to be presented well.

As well as producing the show, Nicole Maisley—AKA Athena Rose—also stole it. With the perfect balance of tricks and bits (and perfect balance), she was utterly captivating. Spinning around on an aerial hoop and aerial loops, the grace, strength, and effortlessness of her performance was astounding. It was majestic AF.

This review has been condensed. Read the full piece at salient.org.nz

heads up!

do something!

Puck, The Salient Cryptid

solved by Phoebe Robertson (she/her), Puck (he/him)

A cryptid is a mysterious creature whose existence is uncertain and unconfirmed, like the legendary bigfoot. They are said to roam in the wilderness, just out of human reach. Here at Salient, we don't have any physical cryptids, but we do have someone just as elusive: Puck. He's responsible for most of our weekly crosswords, but no one seems to know much about him. When I took over as editor, I was given his email address and told only that his crosswords always come on time. My curiosity got the best of me and I decided to reach out to Puck and set up a meeting. After anxiously waiting a couple of days for a response, he agreed to meet me at Enigma café, a fittingly mysterious venue. As I enter the café, I scan the room despite having no idea what Puck looks like. All I have is his phone number, which I texted once to confirm our meeting.

I step inside the café and make eye contact with a man who I think is Puck. He's sitting at a table, slightly slouched over, and looks like someone who would enjoy solving crossword puzzles. Our eyes meet briefly but then I suddenly feel nervous and decide to buy myself a coffee first. I take a seat next to the pinball machine and send him a message about where to find me. A minute later, the man I made eye contact with stands up and walks towards me. It's Puck. I can't believe I'm finally meeting the elusive creator of the Salient crossword puzzles.

As we sit down to talk, I realize that I know very little about him, or even about crosswords in general. Trying to sound like a professional interviewer, I start off with a simple question: how long has he been creating these puzzles? He tells me that he started at Te Herenga Waka in 2006 and began making crosswords in 2007 or 2008. That means it's been over 15 years since he started this endeavor. It's amazing to think that while I was still in primary school, Puck was already crafting these challenging puzzles for Salient readers to solve every week without fail. In fact, back in 2008, he used to leave his crosswords on USB sticks at the Salient offices every week. It's hard not to imagine him sneaking around under the cover of darkness, slipping an unlabeled envelope containing a USB stick under the door each time.

Puck, as his name suggests, is full of mischief and whimsy, much like his namesake in A Midsummer Night's Dream. In the middle of our meeting, he playfully takes a newspaper and asks me to time him as he solves the crossword puzzle. He finishes it in just 2 minutes and 35 seconds, but kindly lets me assist with the final clue (INTEREST). If there is a purpose to all cryptids, then Puck's seems to be creating crosswords. He finds joy in seeing students enjoy his creations and using them to distract from the stress of assignments or daily life. Puck genuinely wants to make every student's day better at the university. And if that is the true motivation behind this cryptid, I am grateful to have them as part of our Salient family.

podcasts.

with Speaker of the House Teddy O'Neill

Completed all the puzzles in this week's issue and in dire need of more procrastination content? Salient Podcasts is your next point of call! Tune in this week as politicians rate their favourite Disney Princes, the Salient team give the rundown on this week's issue, and hear from an up and coming rugby player.

" E=MC2?" "FUCK YEAH!"

Unedited Sessions 2.0 Welcome to the Salient Unedited podcast of 2024! The Unedited Sessions are an inclusive look at behind the scenes content of our Salient Magazine, hosted by Phoebe our editor this year! This week, the Salient team talks freshers, council recycling bags, and Albert Einstein.

"What on earth is VUWSA?"

Aunty Vic dear, Q.

Is it too soon to move in together? My boyfriend and I, both 20, have been together for 2 years. While my friends and family think it's too quick, I feel it's been fine. Am I being naive?

Advice xxx

At the age of twenty, I entered my first "serious" relationship. He spent at least four nights a week with me. I was enjoying the freedom of living independently, without parents or rules, but I quickly grew reliant on his presence. I would get frustrated, furious even if he could not join me every night or so. My stability was utterly dependent on him being in my bed nearly-every night. We didn’t live together, but the big-codependency-bear is real. Don’t lose your individuality by trying to grow up too quickly.

I want to preface this advice with the idea that something being ‘too quick’, is created by society's expectations. There is no official timeline for anything. There may be unique factors in your relationship which have led you to living with your partner. Maybe something traumatic has occurred and you need that support? Maybe it reduces living costs, enabling you to live in the city? If so, then I am sure that this is the best decision for you both.

However, you are 20-fucking-years-old. You’ve been together for two years. That means you met in high-school. Look, maybe this person is your soul-mate, twin-flame, or whatever other tik-tokcreated-pet-name you want to call them. However, that does not revoke the fact that you have got your entire life to live with your partner.

Need a hand?

Send your anonymous questions here!

e

Whilst you have your entire life to live with your partner, you only have limited time where you can live with your best friends. Living with friends is nothing short of the most transformative moments of your life, and in my opinion, one of the most rewarding aspects of being in your twenties. The personal development that occurs when living in a flat with your besties is unmatched. You create life-long friendships and lessons which are priceless.

So, to answer your question, I don’t know all your circumstances, I cannot say whether you’re being naive or not. What I can say is that by choosing to live with your partner you are missing out on unrepeatable life moments - when you literally don’t have too.

Ask yourself, is living with a person you met in high school really worth sacrificing irreplaceable moments of your youth, friendships and self-development? Is it really worth it when you can have the best of both worlds? You can live with your friends, experience personal development, friendship and learning as you enter the adult world, and then; live with your high-school-sweet-heart-eternal-twin-flame-lover in the future. You don’t even have to break up. Don’t cut yourself short. You don’t need to be wifed up and settled at the ripe age of twenty, save that for 2030. Enjoy life while it’s in front of you, it sounds like you’re trying to grow up when you don’t have too.

ommunity

embracing belonging through club engagement fresher

words by UniQ President Khai Dye-Brinkman (they/them)

Entering university marks a pivotal moment in one's life, a transition into newfound independence and self-discovery. For many, university clubs serve as vital conduits to forge connections and foster a sense of community. My own journey as a fresher led me to UniQ, where I discovered a profound sense of community.

UniQ, like many university clubs, offered more than just a space for socialization; it provided a sanctuary where individuals of all backgrounds and orientations could converge without judgment. Walking into UniQ's events, I was greeted with warmth and openness, instantly dispelling any apprehensions I had. The club's commitment to inclusivity transcended mere rhetoric; it was palpable in every interaction, fostering an environment where diversity was not just acknowledged but celebrated.

Engaging with UniQ extended beyond casual gatherings; it became a catalyst for personal growth and selfacceptance. Through discussions, events, and unwavering support from fellow members, I found the courage to embrace my identity. UniQ became more than a club; it evolved into a lifeline, a beacon of hope in navigating the complexities of university life.

My experience with UniQ underscores the power of club engagement in fostering a sense of community. Whether one identifies within the LGBTQ+ spectrum or not, the essence of belonging transcends labels, encapsulating the universal yearning for connection and acceptance. As I continue my journey through university, I carry with me the invaluable lessons learned within UniQ's embrace: that true belonging lies not in conformity but in the unapologetic celebration of our authentic selves.

Want an experience

than mine?

words by Miriama Campbell (she/her)

Kia ora e hoa, ko Miri ahau. I hear you're new here; don’t worry, I was a fresher too. Let me tell you about my experience as a first year studying at Te Herenga Waka. My first year was 2022, right as we were starting to see the possibility of a return to normality after the covid lockdowns. And honestly, the first tri was absolute shit. Although I like to blame it on the covid restrictions, allowing me to do all my courses from the comfort of my single sized bed, in my quarantined hall. I made the mistake of putting minimal effort into seeking help, and lost my way. But not you, you’re going to be better than me.

Here's some quick tips to stay fresh.

Kanohi ki te kanohi

• Go to campus

• Only use zoom if you need it

• Take rough notes in class, use the online notes to tidy them up at home

Join a club!

• Whakawhānaungatanga is really the best thing you can do, especially as a Māori in a Pākehā system. Ngāi Tauira was my lifeline.

• Find people similar to you, you can find friends in halls too but don’t limit yourself.

Take the pressure off

• Uni is important but so are you. Take care of yourself.

• Āwhina is the Māori student support group here, they can help with anything e hoa, trust them

Stay hydrated

• Drink water. Always. It helps with the hangovers too.

Kia Waimarie!!

Nā Miriama Campbell

Radio Poem

Cadence Chung

All I can give you is the space in a room, my heart already some distant packing-crate away, my lips unanswered for. In the middle of the day the unplugged radio transistor starts speaking like the voice of God: I was walking down long gravel roads with one shoe. It was raining, and so cold. I didn’t know what else I could have done. When it stops, it’s like something has been slowly segued out of the air. The absence of that voice is rolling over in the night and finding nothing but sticky bedsheet. It’s kissing your prom date with your eyes shut. It’s fucking and getting fucked up on a Tuesday. What else could I have done, with that red-light, mothy mothy desire, the type that bugs beat themselves to death over? It was raining and I was cold. I had one shoe; everything was wearing thin. I cut the air like a thigh, and there you were. You were in a T-shirt and shorts. You looked so cool.

Cadence Chung (she/they) is a poet, composer, and musician from Te-Whanganui-a-Tara, currently studying at the New Zealand School of Music. Her nationally bestselling poetry book 'anomalia' was published in April 2022 with Tender Press. She also performs as a classical soloist, presents on RNZ Concert, and co-edits Symposia Magazine.

01

In what year did the Berlin Wall fall?

02

What is the capital city of Brazil?

03

04 05

Who wrote “Pride and Prejudice”?

Who is known as the “Father of Modern Physics”?

Which mountain range is the longest in the world?

Maze Puzzle

04. Albert Einstein ; 05. The Andes

01. 1989 ; 02. Brasília ; 03. Jane Austen;

bird of the week

How many birds can you find in this issue? Flick through the magazine, ount them all and send your answer to letters@salient.org.nz and be in to win a prize!

DOWN

1. Alternative to a Phillips screwdriver (8)

2. Parts of ears or brains (5)

3. Month in 1975 in which the Waitangi Tribunal was created (7)

4. Symbolic Egyptian beetles (7)

5. Actor Salma who played 21-Down (5)

6. Muppet ___ von ___ (5)

7. Referees in cricket and baseball (7)

8. Apple users might say "Hey" to her a lot (4)

12. Term of address that's 8-Down without its last letter (3)

13. Rusts (8)

I KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT CROSSWORDS

CROSSWORD MADE BY

ACROSS

1. Figures out how to solve this crossword? (7,3,5)

9. Random; without any defining pattern (9)

10. Word that can precede 'reaches' or 'respiratory tract' (5)

11. Looks for a long time at the empty parts of this crossword? (3,1,5,5)

14. Words like 'slowly' or 'enthusiastically' (7)

17. Giving head, more formally (4,3)

19. Makes notes in the margins of this crossword? (4,3,3,4)

24. Designer Calvin (5)

25. Waters, like crops (9)

26. Finds the right answer for a space in this crossword? (4,2,1,4,4)

15. Like many scenes in 'Fight Club' and 'Train to Busan' (7)

16. Term of address that's way less formal than 12Down (3)

17. Most populous province in Canada - it's where you'll find Toronto (7)

18. Got even with (like Captain America?) (7)

20. Largest branch of Islam, with a name that stems from the Arabic for 'tradition' (5)

21. Artist Kahlo played by 5-Down (5)

22. Mathematical relationship; to give a post more comments than likes (5)

23. Pass over without stopping (4)

WORD SCRAMBLE

How many words (of three letters or more) can you make from these letters (according to the Scrabble UK dictionary)?

Good: 5

Very Good: 8

Excellent: 10 or more

Hey, I'm Jess

the artist behind UGGLYUGGLY. I'm 23, an Aussie, and I love celebrating uniqueness. In my art, I tell stories through gender-fluid characters framed by lush nature in trippy, psychedelic scenes. Come, dive into the vibrant world I create and see more on the @UGGLYUGGLY Instagram

Salient 2024

Third Row: Emily (Kate's

; Oogway (Teddy's

; M&M (Ashleigh's

; Nic Smith (Vice Chancelor) ; Hoiho

Second Row: Phoebe Robertson (she/her, Editor) ; Te Huihui Tran (he/him, Te Ao Māori Co-Editor) ; Ashleigh Putt-Fallows (she/her, Te Ao Māori Co-Editor) ; Jamie Clumpas (he/any, Contributing Writer) ; Guy van Egmond (he/him, Contributing Writer) ; Jia Sharma (she/her, Staff Writer) ; Mauatua Fa'ara-Reynolds (she/her, Staff Writer) ; Henry Broadbent (he/him, Sub-Editor)

Front Row: Teddy O'Neill (he/it/ia, Speaker of the House) ; Ava O'Brien (she/her, Distributor) ; Ethan Rogacion (he/him, News Co-Editor) ; Dan Moskovitz (he/him, Chief Reporter) ; Will Irvine (he/him, News Co-Editor) ; Kate Seager (she/her, Designer)

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