Salient Issue 02 - Volume 87

Benedict

Brie

You

Ashleigh

got something to say?

Our magazine, Salient, is run by students for students. Without the involvement of students, we wouldn't be able to operate. Every year, we welcome pitches and inquiries from individuals who are interested in writing for us. For more information, please email editor@salient. org.nz or visit our website at salient.org.nz.

complaints

Complaints regarding the material published in Salient should first be brought to the Editor in writing (editor@salient. org.nz). If not satisfied with the response, complaints should be directed to the Media Council (info@ mediacouncil.org.nz).

about us

Salient is published by, but remains editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Student's Association (VUWSA). Salient is funded in part by VUWSA through Student Services Levy. Salient is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

The views expressed in Salient do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor, VUWSA, or the University.

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EDITORIAL SERVICE

To kick off the week, I asked Vice Chancellor Nic Smith if he thought he could take Christopher Luxon in a cage fight. Want to know his response? Tune into our podcast xoxo. Welcome back to this week's edition of Salient!! Our vibe is just as unhinged as this editorial. But listen, it's the service issue and this week we're expanding our focus from hospitality to include volunteering and customer-facing roles.

In this issue, Ben shares his experience volunteering with St. John Ambulance, Ash discusses her disdain for the phrase "you work for the government of the day," VUWSA outlines your rights when entering the workforce, and Theodore takes us on a written tour of Japan's Maid Cafes. In the arts and culture section, our staff reveal what your favorite drink says about your personality, Dan gives a review of Uni Rec, and Ash and Chloe share their thoughts on various theater shows.

We also got a visit over the weekend from Hariklia Nicola, Canta’s Managing Editor, and together we broke into Matt Tucker's office and took a nice little family photo. Also pictured is Billy Bass (the fish) singing a happy little song. He’s almost as annoying as Critic

bird of the week

Pārera

Enjoy the issue, and go fight your boss for not giving you breaks.

Phoebe Robertson Editor in Chief

The Pārera, also known as the Grey Duck, is an infrequent sight in New Zealand's wetlands and waterways. It may be mistaken for a Mallard at first glance, but its distinctive mottled grey-brown plumage sets it apart. As native inhabitants of New Zealand, these ducks play a crucial role in the country's water ecosystems. However, their genetic purity is threatened by interbreeding with introduced Mallards. Pārera are dabbling ducks, feeding on aquatic plants, insects, and seeds. Their ability to adapt to different water habitats showcases their resilience. Conservation efforts are focused on preserving the genetic integrity of these native ducks and highlighting the importance of protecting New Zealand's unique avian diversity.

letters xo

Cheese Scone Slander

Shout out to the wonderful joy inducing people who work at The Lab. As for the cheese scones they were flavourful, but not too flavourful, and they did NOT turn to dough in my mouth. I completely reject the slanderous, bad, no good, hate filled, mean, very bad, disrespectful and saddening comments about them in the first edition of the Salient of 2024.

Rest of it was very good though, love the design.

mwah -gossip girl xoxoxoxoxxo

Pride!

Pōneke's annual pride festival begins in March, running from the 1st to the 17th. Among the many events taking place is a Hīkoi on Saturday, March 9th. Gender Minorities Aotearoa is also offering free IPL facial hair removal for transgender individuals throughout the month. For more details, visit Wellington Pride's website!

Share your thoughts

Got some strong opinions on just want to stir the pot? Send your love letters to letters@salient.org.nz them published every week.

Comic supplied by Anton Huggard | larrikins.co.nz

Comic supplied by Walter Zamalis | @walterzamalisss

gig guide

WED | San Fran | 8pm

Eyegum (Free) Wednesdays: Cruelly, Sleeping Village, EMPRESS OLI

Eyegum Wednesdays are back for 2024! If you’re new to this absolute institution, get familiar! Here is the rundown: Doors open at eight, there are 2-3 new bands every week, a DJ to close things off, and entry is free. Oh, and there are $7.00 beers. Every week will be different—all you need is an open mind. This week, the lineup is as follows: 8.30pm Cruelly; 9.30pm Sleeping Village; 10pm EMPRESS OLI.

Free!

FRI | MOON 1 | 8pm

MAD PROFESSOR

This Friday night MOON 1 in Newton becomes a shrine to Lovers Rock. Dub legend Mad Professor started from a living room studio in South London in the late ‘70s, saw frequent collaboration with figures like Lee “Scratch” Perry in the ‘80s, and a longrunning involvement with the Aotearoa dub scene. He is, simply, a legend. This Friday, Riddiford Street is the new Courtenay Place.

Tickets $35

Enjoy our small, lovingly curated selection of gigs.

WED | Dirty Little Secret | 7pm

Pride: Sunset Soirée

An evening of uninhibited glamour at one of Pōneke’s most exotic venues. Your hosts, outrageous drag legend Selina Simone and musical comedian Jack Darling, will chaperone you through a rainbow-soaked celebration of queer liberation. Expect vibrant cabaret, and a rooftop dance bar powered by DJ WinnerMick, pridethemed drink specials, crowd interaction—everything that makes a soirée. Booking a table is encouraged.

Free!

FRI | Parrotdog | 9pm

Bright Up The Night | Parrotdog Beer Launch And Mouthfull Club Night

The coolest capital's coolest brewers are launching a new beer! To celebrate, they’re throwing a party! For us! Local online radio station Mouthfull Radio are joining Parrotdog for a club night at the PD Bar in Lyall Bay. Expect an expertly curated selection of DJs, and an equally well-curated selection of taps. 9PM - late. Only for those brave enough to leave Te Aro. Sorry, townies.

Free!

protest calendar

THUR | Civic Square | 7pm

Pōneke vigil for Nex Benedict and all victims of transphobic violence

A candlelit vigil will be held at 7pm this Thursday for Nex Benedict, and all victims of transphobic violence. Please wear a mask, and bring a candle.

THUR | San Fran | 8pm

Shonen Knife

Typically we would agonise in the office about adding a $65 gig. No such hesitation this week. Visiting us from Japan is Shonen Knife! These legends of bubblegum-punk have courted a worldwide cult following for decades, and show zero sign of letting up. This shit will be fun - you’ll be hard pressed to find more joyful, relentlessly lifeaffirming punk. Get a colourful fit, get to the mosh, get jumping.

Tickets $65

SAT | Welsh Dragon | 8pm

Voodoo Bloo / Slow Burn

High energy punk rockers Voodoo Bloo will preside over a rowdy (and cheap) night at Wellington’s best public toilet turned bar (and allegedly the only Welsh pub in the Southern Hemisphere). The venue will charm you, Voodoo Blue will yell at you. They’ll be supported by Slow Burn, delivering psychedelic jams to ease us all into the evening.

Tickets $8

Salient will be highlighting protest and direct action throughout 2024. In print will be a small selection.

SAT | Parliament Lawn | 12.30pm

Justice for Palestine: Lunchtime Noise Demonstration

We won’t be silent while genocide is committed against Palestinians. Our politicians shouldn’t be either. Join Justice for Palestine for a noisy 30 minute demonstration at parliament, to raise our voices for Palestine and let our politicians know we demand more from them. What to bring: Wear black to remember the almost 30,000 Palestinians killed in Gaza, bring a noise-maker - e.g. a pot and spoon, a drum - anything!, bring some ear plugs to protect your ears, bring your friends and whānau.

Scan this code for a more comprehensive protest destination.

IT’S THE FUCKING NEWS

kawepūrongo

04.03.2024

Number of benefit sanctions to jump after National's welfare reform

dan moskovitz (he/him)

The government last week announced a reset of the welfare system, with the number of beneficiaries sanctioned expected to spike dramatically.

Sanctions are usually issued for jobseekers failing to meet their commitments, such as attending job interviews. They can be financial, and can result in the beneficiary's stipend being cut, suspended, or cancelled.

National is introducing a traffic light system for beneficiaries: a green level for beneficiaries meeting obligations, followed by an orange level for first and second breaches, which will result in “targeted support, such as more regular check-ins and/or attendance at job workshops.” Finally a third breach will see the beneficiary move to the red level: potential sanctions include benefit reductions, suspensions, and compulsory community work.

“If job seekers fail to attend job interviews, to complete their pre-employment tasks, or to take work that is available, then there needs to be consequences,” said Social Development minister Louise Upston in her press release announcing the reforms. The reforms will not apply to those with permanent disabilities.

“Penalising people who are struggling does nothing to create decent jobs,” said Green Party Social Development spokesperson, Ricardo Menéndez March in a statement. “We can prevent the further entrenchment of poverty across Aotearoa by lifting income support, adequately supporting families who transition into employment and ensuring disabled people are treated with respect and dignity.” Prior government reports on the efficacy of benefit sanctions have been damning on their lack of effectiveness.

A 2018 report commissioned by the government stated “a very harsh sanctions regime can have important adverse effects that drive people away from, rather than closer to, employment, and might worsen rather than improve the long-term chances of children in the families affected.”

In 2019, the Welfare Advisory Group found sanctions were costly, ineffective, and compounded social harm. The report went on to state “we do not support the continued use of a financial sanctioning regime.” 2021 research from the Beneficiary Advisory Service suggested many sanctions occurred because the beneficiary in question did not understand their obligations.

98% of disputed sanctions were overturned, implying most were applied incorrectly.

VUW Professor of Taxation, Lisa Marriott, who studies social justice and inequality, concurs with the literature. “We have this phrase called beneficiary bashing, and that’s exactly what this policy is,” said Marriott. “There are relatively few groups who advocate for beneficiaries, and they’re less well represented than other groups. I think it makes them an easy target.”

A 2022 literature review from Scotland did conclude sanctions are effective in moving people into work. However, the same review also concluded sanctions are ineffective at keeping people working long-term, and could increase both health issues and sanctioned beneficiaries’ ability to financially survive. What this results in, as Marriott explains, is beneficiaries ending up elsewhere in the system and a higher total cost than if their benefit had never been cut in the first place.

“On average, someone without stable housing is spending 100 nights a year in hospital. The cost of doing so is enormous. When you move people into stable housing, that drops to an average of eight nights a year.

“It’s the same story with the justice system - sanctions push people into what’s called survival crime because they don’t have any way to support themselves.

“By taking away people’s minor safety nets, you’re setting them up to pop up elsewhere in the system, which is likely to cost more in the long term.”

Debate Over Housing Intensification Intensifies

ethan Rogacion (he/him)

The debate over the future of Wellington’s housing rages on, as Council continues to grapple with the 220 pages of bullshittery brought to it by the Independent Hearings Panel (IHP)

The most recent report brought to council by the IHP contains all of its recommendations for Wellington’s District Plan—the rulebook for urban planning in Te Whanganui-a-Tara—developed via a public consultation process that it has been undergoing since February of last year. However, as pointed out by a number of commentators, many of the recommendations made by the IHP are, frankly, bonkers.

The Panel’s recommendations on transport and density have come under fire, in particular. For example, the Panel recommended against classifying the Johnsonville line—a train which operates every 15 minutes during peak hours and seats over 1000 people per service—as a mass rapid transit service. This is despite the Panel defining the Kapiti and Hutt lines—which are also trains—as such. In doing so, the Panel’s recommendations skirt around the requirement for areas around mass rapid transit stops to be zoned for increased density.

In addition, the Panel made a number of recommendations about character protections, extending character zones across the city. This would greatly restrict the ability for property developers to increase housing stock and allow for greater affordability in some of the more… unique areas of the city. Devon Street in Aro Valley for instance—one of Wellington’s most infamous shitholes—has been granted character protections by the IHP. This is despite this street being home to The Ditch, a row of rotting houses built in a hole in the ground.

Luke Somervell, from City for People, told Salient that the current recommendations are “bad news for renters.” He is critical of the IHP’s recommendations on character protections, noting that “when the IHP recommends we set aside the equivalent of 200 rugby fields of land in Wellington for character protection, they’re strangling the ability of our city to grow—and [renters] are paying the price.”

“The council only votes on the District Plan every 20 decades. Historically, they get swamped with requests from homeowners pleading to keep things the way they are. And they usually succeed, because there’s next to no input from anyone else”, he said, “so even though there’s a huge demand in Pōneke for townhouses and apartments, it’s really hard to build them.

“If the council doesn’t front up to this crisis, it’ll be harder and harder for us to see a future in the city.” Somervell calls on Council to “ignore the report, face up to the crisis, and make it easier for people to live here. The best way to do that is to sign off on a better District Plan that’ll make it easier for developers to build townhouses and apartments.”

Criticism of the IHP report has also come out of Parliament. Wellington Central MP Tamatha Paul told Salient that “[t]he recommendations fail to address the core drivers of housing insecurity and instability whilst serving to maintain a status quo that has failed so many in the Wellington community.”

“We deserve better, and we can have a District Plan that provides the housing we need into the future … We can have a city where students live in modern, accessible, affordable homes close to campus, where young families can afford to buy a place of their own, and where we welcome people moving to the capital to explore new opportunities.”

Minister for Housing and RMA Reform Chris Bishop— who has previously been critical of the IHP reports— announced last week that he “will be the decisionmaker on relevant district plan changes relating to housing where councils and Independent Hearings Panels do not agree.”

Council will vote on whether to accept or amend the IHP’s recommendations in a meeting on the 14th of March.

Bird Flu? Uh, Yeah, I Sure Hope it Does

WiLL iRvine (he/him)

Here at Salient , we love birds. Forming the vast majority of Aotearoa’s endemic species, birds make up a significant part of our national identity, from the noble Kiwi to the pesky Weka. So devoted is our love for birds that we have included hidden birds in every single issue of Salient, finders of which can go in the draw to win a prize. Unfortunately, all is not well in bird world. A dark storm is brewing on the horizon, and birds across Aotearoa are bracing themselves for a bird-tastrophe of cataclysmic proportions.

Here’s the long and short of it; a global bird flu pandemic has been spreading across the globe for about three years now, and it’s set to hit us very soon. Two different flu viruses are at work here. The H5N1 virus has been on the radar for a while, and has seen outbreaks since at least 2003. The H5N8 virus is less well-researched, but has seen rapid spread since 2021 and is likely to pose a significant threat to our wildlife.

The primary concern for Aotearoa at the moment is an outbreak among gentoo penguin populations in Antarctica, which has seen more than 200 chicks die before reaching maturity. Otago University virologist Professor Jemma Geoghegan told RNZ that the virus is “killing birds and other marine wildlife in unprecedented scales around the world”, and that “it could be catastrophic for many of the species that are sort of already tinkering on the brink of extinction”.

The current bird flu pandemic has been ravaging birds across the globe for the past few years, although scientists are currently unsure when the outbreak first began. In the UK, the disease took root in seabirds, where it killed an approximate 75% of the great skua population and 25% of all gannets. Overall, although the UK’s outbreak appears to be calming down, more than 50,000 seabirds have perished to the disease that reportedly has a mortality rate of up to 60%.

Notably, the H5N1 virus, one of the two which causes bird flu, has the ability to infect and kill mammals. In the South Georgia islands of Antarctica, RNZ reports hundreds of elephant seals dying after the disease was first reported in brown skua populations.

The main problem with birds is that they can fly. This makes them a high risk of transmission, because flying is how things get places. Particularly, Aotearoa

is home to a high population of migratory birds, including several which spend parts of the year in Antarctica.

As a nation of birds, we have every right to be worried about bird flu. Our national symbol is in significant danger, and as governments around the world scramble to find a vaccine, there is every reason to feel worried. Avian flu is a disease that classically mutates into mammals, and in past outbreaks has demonstrated real capacity for human-to-human transmission.

Although it’s a distant prospect at this stage, we must be conscious that we are facing one of the deadliest strains of bird flu to ever widely propagate. If human-to-human transmission occurs, we could see a serious threat to human life. Just last year in February, Cambodia reported the death of a young girl from H5N1. Whether or not she will be the last

Patch Notes

henRy BRoadBent (he/him)

The Coalition Government last week announced new legislation banning gang patches in public will become law—even if it breaches the Bill of Rights. Should it be passed, wearing gang insignia in public would mean a fine of up to $5000, or up to six months in prison. The legislation, much like the proposed Thin Lizzy Mandate on facial tattoos, has led a number of commentators to express their doubts.

The Criminal Bar Association, in a press release doubling as an appeal to reason, called for “evidencebased justice policy that keeps our communities safe, while upholding a fair system”, adding “[t]he Government’s proposed new ban on gang insignia does neither of those things.”

In the release the President of the Association, Annabel Croswell, points to past instances of similar policy roundly failing to prevent crime, and criticises the policy as one that will target Māori, Pasifika and low-income communities whilst entirely ignoring root causes of crime.

And indeed, evidence bearing out the legislative rationale is incredibly lacking. So lacking there isn’t any.

The Prime Minister’s Chief Science Officer last year produced an exhaustive report on reducing harm from and within gangs in Aotearoa. There is a section dedicated to ‘suppression’ efforts, titled ‘You can’t just arrest your way out of the problem’. It finds zero-tolerance policing to be “questionable in its efficacy”, and goes on to detail the ways in which such initiatives can work to increase, rather than reduce, harm:

“These types of policing practices … [lead to] increased racial disparities in the criminal justice system, and the criminalisation of vulnerable populations such as the homeless and mentally ill … We know that targeted enforcement efforts run the risk of strengthening internal gang cohesion, reinforcing anti-social attitudes, and simply displacing offending elsewhere rather than addressing the problem at its root.”

‘Tough on crime’ policies are further identified as ‘tough on children’—increased incarceration means more children with disrupted lives. Cited, too, is a

measurable distancing of Police from the communities they operate in, following the implementation of similar policies.

The report pulls from years of evidence, in particular a number of similar attempts by Australian lawmakers to publicly ‘crack down’ on gangs. Following ~seven years of ‘anti-gang’ legislation in Queensland, a cool 86% of those charged in the state under gang related laws were not in gangs.

Not only are such laws ineffective against addressing root causes of crime, they give police heightened, dangerous impunity—and data shows it will be used. In a political environment where anti-Māori legislation is routinely pushed through under urgency, and Māori and Pasifika remain grossly overrepresented in the prison system, further emboldening cops feels … counterproductive. Of course, that depends on your goals.

Te Waikamihi Lambert, on behalf of Ngāi Tauira, the Māori Students’ Association, described the policy to Salient as “a racist tactic disguised as a solution”, with the goal of incarcerating “mass numbers of Māori and other marginalised groups … [in the interests of] … the prison industrial complex … The Government is not ignorant. The industrial judicial complex is working perfectly, as designed.”

And does the pesky little Bill of Rights make things awkward for our lawmakers? The proposed legislation would limit the right to freedom of expression, and provide the police powers to limit citizens' right to association and peaceful assembly. But rest assured, Minister of Justice Paul Goldsmith has already declared that minor concerns like citizens rights won’t get in the way of something as serious as a campaign pledge.

The War on Student Journalism

phoeBe RoBeRtson (she/heR)

Since approximately 2005, the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA) has held a Press Pass, granting Student Press access to the government gallery. However, for the first time, Salient (who held the pass on behalf of ASPA) was denied a press pass on Tuesday, February 27th, 2024 by the speaker's office in an email.

When Salient asked why their pass, which had previously been renewed without issue, was now being rejected by the house, they were given no explanation. A follow up email, directly addressed to Gerry Brownlee, asking for the reasoning was also ignored. It remained a mystery as to why the speaker had denied their request, especially since all Salient needed was an update of the name to reflect the 2024 News Editor.

At first glance, this may seem like a minor problem, but it raises concerns about the future of student media. Christopher Luxon has a past record of refusing to engage with student media, and with

violence.

the current right-wing government in power, it is troubling to think that students may be excluded from participating in political discussions and decisions.

Salient is actively working to challenge this decision, and they have garnered support from other journalists, politicians, and student publications. VUWSA CEO Matt Tucker stated this situation is “wild”.

Opinion: Remembering Aaron Bushnell and a Legacy of Self-Sacrifice

WiLL iRvine (he/him)

On February 25, on a Twitch stream broadcast to the world, an active-duty member of the US Air Force stood outside the Israeli Embassy in Washington DC. “Today,” he said, “I am planning to engage in an extreme act of protest against the genocide of the Palestinian people”.

The man, Aaron Bushnell, poured gasoline over his body and lit a match. As he stood, engulfed in flames, he repeatedly chanted “Free Palestine”, and declared his intention to “no longer be complicit in genocide”. After being extinguished by police officers, he was taken to hospital, where he died of his injuries. A police officer aimed his firearm at Bushnell as he stood dying, a clear symbol of a regime whose only answer is violence.

Bushnell’s sacrifice forms part of a legacy of selfimmolation as political protest. During the West’s war on Vietnam, several Buddhist monks burned themselves alive in protest of the US-backed regime’s

treatment of religious minorities. In 2011, Tunisian street vendor Mohamed Bouazizi self-immolated in response to widespread government oppression, triggering the Arab Spring.

Media has attempted to paint Bushnell’s sacrifice as a symptom of a mental health epidemic, rhetoric that will no doubt be familiar to those familiar with the USA's cultural attitude to violence.

The truth is simpler than that. Bushnell was clear and deliberate with what he did. His sacrifice was not the delusion of a madman, but the final act of a desperate man who was located in the nucleus of the American imperial project. In the words of the late Sinead O’Connor, “it is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society”.

Salient is proud to remember Aaron Bushnell and all that he stood for.

THE WEEK IN review

CONTENT

WARNING transphobia, queerphobia, violence.

Monday: US Senator Tom Woods on the LGBTQ+ Community:

“We are a religious state, and we are going to fight it to keep that filth out of the state of Oklahoma.”

words by HENRY BROADBENT

In 2022 Oklahoma Gov. Kevin Stitt enacted a law requiring public school students to use bathrooms matching their assigned gender at birth, and a bill banning nonbinary gender makers on birth certificates. That same year, Oklahoma State School Superintendent Ryan Walters relentlessly legislated against ‘gender ideology’ in classrooms and frequently attacked schools that support LGBTQ+ students. Both of these men have campaigned vocally against transgender rights, and turned schools across the state into hostile, unsafe environments.

Last month, 16-year old Nex Benedict, a gender-diverse student at Owasso High School in Oklahoma, was attacked by three other students in a bathroom. Despite Benedict passing out, the school decided an ambulance was unnecessary. Benedict later collapsed at home and was taken to hospital. The following day, they were dead.

At the beginning of last week a public forum was held in Tahlequah, Okla. A woman asked the panel about the state's ongoing anti-queer legislation, and mentioned Benedict. Oklahoma State Senator Tom Woods responded he “represent[s] a constituency that doesn’t want that filth in Oklahoma”.

The only thing shocking about this statement is how blunt and dehumanising it is. There is nothing new about its intent. As our own government wades into this debate, do not lose sight of the stakes. Politicians around the US and the world are emboldened by this rhetoric, and horrifyingly callous about its effects.

The real disease of Aotearoa: the New Zealand Government

The racist disestablishment of Te Aka Whai Ora by the New Zealand Government undermines 184 years of tino rangatiratanga and mana motuhake Māori. The continued weaponisation of Pākehā legislation to perpetuate Māori suffering and inequity is not surprising, and proves the ongoing and vicious existence of colonialism within modernday New Zealand. The excuse of 'urgency' to push the bill through Parliament reveals the violent usage of ignorance and incompetence to stall equality. Where was this 'urgency' when Tūhoe was illegally raided? Where was this urgency when Ihumātao was being illegally confiscated? Where has this urgency been whilst the Government has sat silently observing a genocide in Palestine?

The argument that Te Aka Whai Ora promotes inequality and privileges Māori ignores the systematic and racist frameworks of the New Zealand health system, a health system derived from the colonial teets of Westminster—built by Pākehā, for Pākehā and with Pākehā. By ignoring Māori and disestablishing Te Aka Whai Ora, the New Zealand Government is sitting idly whilst overseeing the continued death and suffering of Māori under its governance.

For continued decades Māori have been told to find solutions by New Zealand Governments, and each time these are undermined and deemed not good enough. The Government is not good enough. The Government has never been good enough. The overrepresentation of Māori in negative health statistics derives from colonisation and the consequential social, cultural, physical and legal barriers, which have prevented Māori from achieving true equity in a health system that purports to support them. This is the birthright of Māori, as guaranteed under Article 3 of Te Tiriti o Waitangi which states that all New Zealand citizens shall be equal.

The Government's actions to disestablish Te Aka Whai Ora is anti-Māori, is anti-Te Tiriti, is anti-Aotearoa, and is regressive— we are witnessing the re-colonisation of the New Zealand Health system which aims to forcefully portray Māori, as James Prendergast once described, as "primitive and barbaric".

Harris Puanaki Devon & Te Waikamihi Lambert (HPD) Te Arawa, Tūwharetoa, Te Āti Haunui a Pāpārangi (TWL) Ngati awa, Tūhoe, Ngāti Ruapani & Ngāpuhi

Abrupt Closure of Award Winning Wellington Brothel

ashLeigh putt-faLLoWs (she/heR) ; ngāti Whātua, ngāpuhi-ngāti hine, tūhoe

Paradise club, a central, appointment based brothel that has been open since 2006 and is the receiptment of “Best NZ Establishment '' for 8 years, has announced that they will be closing their doors on the 29th February 2024.

A statement made by owner and sex worker, Phoenix, announced the closure to clients with mixed emotions, stating “Although this decision is not made lightly, I believe it is the best way forward for both myself and the business”. There was no reason provided in the initial statement as to why the decision was made - at least not to clients.

Phoenix, stated they were “committed to ensuring a smooth transition for our clients and our babes” but the sex workers who work for Paradise were, reportedly, only given two weeks notice, and the opportunity to work on premises as independent workers until the 24th of March.

When contacted for comment Paradise Club said that the reported short notice was not accurate. They also mentioned they had asked their works not to share any information that wasn’t already public externally.

Sex workers who work for agencies, for the most part, are contractors and that means they can be stopped from working at short notice. Giving two weeks can put girls in a tough position, risking their income and livelihood. While Paradise Club's reported commitment to a smooth transition is nice, the owner putting a strong emphasis on independent work can create uncertainty for workers who are used to agencies with protections in place. Such as security guards or having multiple operations from the same venue. Finding a new agency can be hard when some contracts around Wellington include clauses preventing girls from working with ‘competitors’.

This has been a longtime issue in the Sex Work industry as the Fired Up Stelitos advocated for better contractor rights last year and the Green Party has committed to putting forward a members bill regarding these issues. With all being said, I would encourage those who have or are planning to engage with sex work to support the workers as much as possible. Continue to visit them, tip them and treat them with the respect you would any other worker.

VUWSA Defends Promoting Pills

Jamie cLumpas (he/any)

VUWSA has defended promoting high-dose caffeine pill “Nō Dōz” in the face of online backlash. The posts on facebook and instagram, which said the pills were to keep students ‘wide awake for a hard night’s study,’ were not declared as paid promotion.

The posts drew numerous critical comments, with one saying ‘This seems reckless and borderline irresponsible to promote.’

A Nō Dōz pill contains 200mg of caffeine, dwarfing the 80mg in a 250ml can of redbull. However much more common on NZ shelves is Nō Dōz plus, which, despite the name, only contains 100mg.

400mg is considered the maximum healthy dose of caffeine - more can cause anxiety, insomnia, loss of appetite and other symptoms. While Caffeine pills are theoretically no riskier than other forms of caffeine, its much easier to slam back 3-5 pills in one go than 6 cans.

VUWSA president Marcail Parkinson explained that

the ad is part of a very large advertising deal with Auckland-based Wilson Consumer Products to promote a variety of their products, saying “VUWSA doesn’t specify which products they are allowed to advertise. They send us through a set number of ads per year and we put them out.”

Shesaid modifying the agreement to have more control on future ads could be possible, but that the contract is essential in funding services; ‘we are the most underfunded student association in the country, advertising is how the community pantry runs, how Salient runs, and the only way we can continue to put on O-week.’ She continued ‘we’ve been putting pressure on the university to fund us so we don’t have to rely on advertising, but they don’t have the appetite for it.’

Parkinson confirmed the omission of sponsorship marking was an “oversight.” The facebook post has now been edited to include “#ad.” The instagram post, as well as other sponsored posts on the VUWSA facebook page have not been updated as of writing.

altruistically embarked upon by Benedict Robertson (he/him), Phoebe Robertson (she/her)

If someone were to ask me what the most stressful job in the world is, my answer would probably be that of a paramedic. It involves dealing with people in their most vulnerable and distressing states, along with their loved ones. It feels like no matter how hard you try, it's never enough. The ambulance always takes too long to arrive or the paramedics are too occupied with saving lives to update family members on the situation. Personally, I don't think I could do it, even if I were paid for it. But did you know in addition to paid ambulance officers there are roughly 8000 volunteers throughout the country? These volunteers work side by side with paid staff responding and contributing to the over 400,000 calls that the Hato Hone St John ambulance receives every year. Would you be willing to do the same? Ben Robertson's journey towards becoming an Ambulance Officer didn't start with putting on a uniform or turning on the flashing lights of an ambulance; instead, it began in the Kaimai Ranges.

The Kaimai Range divides the western Waikato from the eastern Bay of Plenty, serving as a natural boundary between Hamilton and Tauranga. This area boasts stunning hiking trails and waterfalls, making it an ideal location for Youth Search and Rescue (YSAR).

Regularly, Ben would make the journey from Katikati to Tauranga to learn survival skills in New Zealand's native bush, and how to rescue others in need from such terrain.

Both Ben and I come from Katikati, where it's often joked that there's nothing for teenagers to do. However, this is far from the truth. While many of our peers were working jobs in kiwifruit picking or at the local surf club, Ben chose to spend his weekends in the bush. The YSAR group has a motto of 'Learning to Survive, Thrive and Save Lives,' with a focus on training future Search and Rescue and Emergency Management professionals. Although Ben is no longer involved in rescuing those lost in the bush, he continues to utilize the skills and first aid training gained from YSAR as he volunteers with Hato Hone St John ambulance.

Upon finishing high school, Ben relocated to Ōtautahi (Christchurch) and developed an interest in volunteering with Hato Hone St John. The organization's website offers a comprehensive guide on what one should anticipate when applying to become a volunteer. The process entails filling out an online application, undergoing a thorough police background check, physical assessment, written evaluation, medical screening, attending a 2-day national induction, as well as approximately eight days of courses. It typically takes around eight months from the initial application to being officially certified as a First Responder. Despite the challenges of Covid-19 in 2021, Ben managed to accomplish all of this.

After waiting for about a year, he finally began his first shift as a volunteer ambulance officer. In terms of job priority, green indicates a non-serious situation, while orange suggests seriousness but not an immediate threat to life. Red signifies an immediate threat to life and purple is reserved for suspected cardiac or respiratory arrest cases that require the highest level of attention and fastest response time. During his inaugural, 12-hour shift, he received eight calls, four of them being red and three involving patients with cardiac issues. As we speak over the phone to bridge the distance between Ōtautahi and Pōneke, he remembers how daunting those initial trips were. Fortunately, he was paired with an experienced

paramedic and EMT, so he wasn't alone. Still, he was about to encounter people at their most vulnerable state, and he had been training hard in order to provide them with assistance.

When I asked Ben how he navigates treating people during their most vulnerable moments, he shared a valuable piece of advice he received when starting his job. He can't recall who gave him this advice, but it was along the lines of, "patients may not remember what you did for them, but they will always remember how you made them feel." This mantra is something that Ben holds dear. He emphasizes that even if a call may not be labeled as an emergency, it could still be the worst medical situation the patient has ever experienced. While the organization provides a framework for first responders to follow, these skills must be learned and developed over time— especially when it comes to mental health calls that may be difficult to relate to. In these cases, Ben relies on treating people with kindness, compassion, and respect. He believes in reassuring patients and making them feel safe; after all, the ambulance is there to help. He also tries to find common ground with patients to establish a connection and comfort them during their time of need.

Maintaining a clear boundary between his work at Hato Hone St John and his personal life is no issue for Ben. He makes sure not to discuss any patient or case outside of work, but he knows he can always count on his colleagues for support during tough times. During his time as a recruit volunteer, there was always someone more experienced present to provide clinical oversight/leadership. Additionally, new members are provided with comprehensive training on managing stress during their induction period. Regular and extensive counseling sessions are also available for volunteers, with the option to see a trained therapist if needed—all confidential and free of charge, as part of the services offered by Hato Hone St John.

patients may not remember what you did for them, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

Although it may seem overwhelming for students to balance volunteering with the ambulance service and their studies, Ben wants to make it clear that it is achievable. As an engineering student at Hato Hone St John, he completed his undergraduate degree with honors while also volunteering with the ambulance service. He believes there is a misconception that one needs years of training or a specific degree to work on an ambulance or treat patients, when in reality, basic life-saving skills can be learned for free over the course of eight months by volunteering with Hato Hone St John. This is manageable even while studying, as shifts can be scheduled every other week or so. For Ben, volunteering was enjoyable and did not feel like a burden on his education; rather, it was a fulfilling activity to engage in.

During our conversation, I asked Ben for advice on someone interested in volunteering but unsure about committing to it. He explained that it can be difficult to know what career path will truly resonate with you when you're young. That's why Hato Hone St John’s flexibility is so attractive; there's no pressure to make a lifelong commitment. If the field of paramedicine captures your interest, give it a try. Many successful paramedic/EMT’s started with an unrelated undergraduate degree before switching to bachelor of health science because they found it fulfilling. Ben also knows a colleague who switched from engineering to paramedicine during their final

year of college. A common misconception about the job is that it's all adrenaline and life-saving situations. In reality, in Ben's experience only 14% of the work involves those scenarios. A lot of the workload is addressing general complaints or social issues like patients struggling to care for themselves or follow medication plans. Ambulance Officers also play a crucial role in providing support and guidance to patients, connecting them with appropriate medical resources or pathways.

I wasn't sure what to expect when speaking with Ben. As someone studying engineering in Ōtautahi, I didn't think we had much in common. However, our conversations about the social aspects of his work and his passion for leading with kindness and empathy helped me connect with him. In our numerous phone calls while working on this article, there was one message that Ben continually emphasized: anyone can do this job. With free training and education provided by Hato Hone St John and the ability to choose your own workload and shifts, volunteers hold the cards. One thing that became clear during our discussions is how much Ben cares about his volunteer work and the impact it has on people's lives. It's admirable to see such dedication, and he wants to make it known that anyone can also make a difference by volunteering. All it takes is a laptop or phone, visiting the Hato Hone St John website, and submitting an application.

FIVE THINGS YOU SHOULD LOOK OUT FOR WHEN YOU START A NEW JOB

expertly summarised by Brie Keatley (she/they), Erica Schouten (she/her)

In partnership with the VUWSA Advocacy Team

Gone are the days where your living costs could comfortably cover all your weekly expenses. And unless you can rely on the bank of your parents… it’s up to you to fill the gaps. So, you trek through Trade Me, scroll Student Job Search and cruise up and down Cuba Street. If you’re lucky, you’ll get a few choice looking offers (and maybe a few dodgy ones) and we here at VUWSA Advocacy are here to make sure you accept the good ones. So, here are five things you should be aware of when you start a new job.

Contract type: Okay you’ve verbally accepted your job! Great! Now you need to sign your contract. There are various forms of being considered officially employed, each with its own advantages and disadvantages.Probably the most common contract type for students is part-time.

There are two types of part-time contracts though! Casual, and permanent. If you are under casual part-time employment, your hours per week are not guaranteed which can be quite annoying. If you are under permanent part-time employment you usually have a set amount of hours you will work a week (between 10 – 20 usually). This is more commonly found in hospo settings. Say you work at a bar and your usual shifts are on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. This would mean you need to give notice if you for some reason are unable to work these

It's important not to mix up contracted work with being a contractor. Contracted work refers to the topic of this article, while being a contractor means being self-employed and responsible for paying your own taxes, ACC fees, and other employmentrelated expenses. Examples of independent contract jobs include sex work, theater performance, trade work, musical gigs and any work you do for uber/

What breaks you are entitled to: Working on a contract means you are entitled to breaks. Anyone who works in hospo is probably laughing until they cry when they read that. The length and how many you get depends on how many hours you are working. The rules around paid breaks and (unpaid) meal breaks are complicated so you should check out employment. govt.nz for reliable information on this. If you find you’re consistently not being given sufficient breaks, ask your manager. We acknowledge that this can be so difficult to do due to power imbalances. If this is the case, come and have a chat with us at VUWSA Advocacy and we’ll see how we can help.

Dodgy superiors: Have you ever had a boss text you outside of work hours? Ask inappropriate questions about your personal life? Not let you clock in for hours you’ve clearly worked? It sounds like you might have what we in the bizz call a ‘dodgy superior’. Some people go on power trips when they are given even the slightest bit of seniority. If you feel like you may be under the management of a ‘dodgy superior’ it can be almost overwhelmingly difficult to speak out about it. Our best advice in this situation is to either speak to one of your co-workers you trust or the dodgy superior’s manager. If neither of these options are available, it may also be a good idea to speak to someone within your union. You can find out what union to join at union.org.nz

Visa work hours: International students! We haven't forgotten about you. If you are interested, you can work up to 20 hours per week while on a study visa in employed positions. Unfortunately, contractor work is not allowed under this visa. However, most job opportunities for students in Wellington are not contractor-based, so you're in luck. Just be aware that if you are not on a formal contract and being paid irregularly, you may still be classified as a contractor by your employer.

After reading this you should feel ready to begin work and confident that you will not be taken advantage of by the many tricky employment laws in Aotearoa, but if you need more advice:

Other places to get advice:

Wellington Community Law: Free law advice with specific drop in sessions around employment on Wednesday’s between 5:30 – 7:00 www.wclc.org.nz/

Citizen’s Advice Bureau: Free advice from trained members of the public. www.cab.org.nz/location/cab-central-wellington

Employment New Zealand: The official website for all employment law. You can search on their website www.employment.govt.nz/ or call them for free on 0800 20 90 20

VUWSA Advocacy: We are able to provide free and confidential advice about your employment situation advocate@vuwsa.org.nz

YOU DO NOT WORK FOR THE

GOVERNMENT

OF THE DAY

ANGRILY RANTED BY ASHLEIGH PUTT-FALLOWS (she/her)

Ngāpuhi-Ngāti Hine

As I sit in a hui after the state opening of parliament, I contemplate my role as an advisor contracted to a ministry and as a young Māori woman. Then, I hear a sentence that will stay in my mind for weeks. “Remember, you work for the government of the day”.

This sentence creates immense rage in me. Here

Firstly, I was contracted to work for the previous government. I can respect that governments can and do change and will keep a level of professionalism. I don’t have to like it nor do I have to agree with their new policy changes.

Second, the purpose of this sentence is generally to remind public service workers that they shouldn’t be blatantly biased for or against any particular party publicly, in a way that could come across as representing the view of whatever agency they work for. It’s not meant to apply as much to specific policy or to an individual sharing their political views; for some reason this is how it's being used. This usage limits the diversity of perspective that goes into policy. It repels people who can provide these perspectives, while creating bad working environments for those already in the space. A lack of diverse perspectives is

detrimental to policy as it means what is put in place and enforced doesn’t actually reflect Aotearoa, our values and who we are as a nation.

Third, it is incredibly bad for one's mental health to be working in a space in which you are not only invalidated in your identity consistently but also told your opinion doesn’t matter because you choose to work a public service job. You should not be put under the amount of stress you are to provide for people who don’t provide for you.

Fourth, it is borderline undemocratic to tell people that they can’t criticize a government or its policies. Full Stop. It becomes even more so when people face consequences for their critique. Nobody should ever fear being fired or facing retaliation in the workplace for simply engaging in political discourse.

Fifth, I am a strong believer that once you become government anyone and everyone should be allowed to criticize your work. It's your job to represent us, not the poor intern, so do your job.

Sixth, personal expression of ideas is an important tool people use to understand, digest and deal with what is happening in the world. The civics space is

no different. When removing that ability you're only putting your workers, and therefore yourself, at a disadvantage.

Seventh, people express themselves through their work and this is how they reflect their passions at times. If you are passionate about te taiao or youth work and decide helping at a policy level would be your contribution, you should not lose your ability to participate in wider discussions.

Look, I understand there is a need for the public service to be nonpartisan so that the government elected through our democracy can do their work, but it's equally important to remember these are people. Individuals with their own values, communities, opinions and identities that make that service who shouldn't have to sacrifice these for a job.

For me, I would like to make it very clear, I do not work for the government of the day, I work for people I am paid to represent and advise on behalf of. I work for youth, I work for rangatahi Māori. I will not sacrifice their voices to make adults elected into a positions of privilege feel better x

About this week's Artist

This week's centrefold is designed by Rain Milne Kia Ora Peeps, Rain Milne, freshly minted Bachelor of Design Innovation here. Technically, I majored in Industrial Design, but drawing has always been my favorite aspect of whatever project I’ve been working on. I like creating cool things for people to enjoy, not too fussed if it’s in a 2D or 3D format. I’ve got a soft spot for all things pink, but my creative fuel mostly comes from whimsical fantasy, medieval, or folklore stories (with the occasional cowboy doodle sprinkled in). Also job hunting is soul crushing, so hopefully the drawing is a little something to brighten up your wall and isn’t just a depressing reminder. You can see more of my work at @milne_illustration on Instagram :)

Aries Taurus Gemini

Which aesthetic is going to shape your wardrobe and base your personality on this year? Mob wife, clean girl, 2014 Tumblr... the options are endless!

Who says you're not allowed to be in love with a coworker. Literally everyone is rooting for Carmy and Sydney, why can't they root for you too!

You really thought you did something! People are drawn to confidence but it’s important to understand the difference between self assurance and cockiness.

Cancer Leo Virgo

There’s safety in the familiar, sticking to what you know but that can cause you to stagnate. What I'm trying to say is you should change up your coffee order.

Don’t be disheartened if no one’s approaching you, it's just because you’re giving cool, mysterious and untouchable, and I love that for you!

Are you giving as much as you're receiving in your relationships?

No accusations, just a statement. Make sure you’re filling the cups of others, not just your own.

Libra Scorpio

The age old question, how to spend your course related costs. Aren't all the textbooks online anyway?

Capricorn

Yeah, your room is pretty nice, doesn't mean you have to spend all your time in it. Go and touch some grass.

It's hard to know what is going on sometimes, it might be worth looking inwards, maybe try a YouTube subliminal.

Aquarius

Your biggest rival can be your own mind. You might not be living up to the expectations you set for yourself. In the nicest way possible it’s all in your head.

Sagittarius

You’re searching for something important right now, it could be you’re looking inward for a sense of purpose or on Facebook Marketplace for some sick ass cowboy boots.

Pisces

You're absolutely serving at your job, but is it serving you ? Maybe it's time for a change.

MAID IN JAPAN

maid by Theodore K. Monroe (he/him)

Maid cafes are cafes where maids serve you, pretty self-explanatory. They are, however, only under the larger umbrella of ‘Concept Cafes’ in which a theme or trope is explored for the customer’s personal enjoyment. The first ‘permanent’ maid cafe was built in 2001, with the purpose of being a place where you can have a meal and interact with women in a safe and interesting environment. Nowadays establishments like these are mostly utilised by tourists and the lonely, as Japan has a growing issue concerning intimacy and relationships. Maid cafes can aid to appease the symptoms, but not the cause. As far as I know none of or most Concept Cafes aren’t sexual in nature, and I doubt any in Akihabara offer sexual services. If any do I didn’t manage to find any of those myself—not that I looked.

In November 2022 I was on my way to Europe where I sought a new life, and my mother offered to pay for a layover in Japan lasting twelve days, as she knew that I’d always been enamoured with its culture and people. I eagerly went, and being fully

intent on experiencing everything I could naturally meant that I got drunk every night, visited Shibuya, bought panties from a vending machine, made friends and memories that’ll last forever. The first week was spent on the outskirts of Tokyo, and the second within the district of Akihabara: Otaku central. A place well known for its dedication to technology and anime.

I already knew of maid cafes from years spent watching anime. I watched my first anime when I was around twelve, and for a few years there it had me in a vice-tight grip, educating me on the weirder side of Japanese culture. I wanted to visit one myself—half out of curiosity, half out of intrigue, and entirely out of novelty. While at a bar I’d heard tales of a street where girls stood one after another, dressed in exotic and interesting attire, handing out flyers for their respective cafes. I tracked it down and spent about an hour walking down “Junk Street” collecting each flyer I could, perusing each one to see which cafe I’d like to visit.

There were the stock-standard maid cafes (nothing wrong with the classics), along with bunny-girl cafes/ bars, and even a military-style cafe—which piqued my interest. I visited approximately seven of these cafes, not including times I revisited. Each one had a ‘first time visitor package’ that usually included food, a song, and a polaroid. So suffice it to say, I have a lot of polaroids of women I paid to hang out with me. It got easier to go to each subsequent cafe as

I felt like a fish out of water, surrounded by men in suits and women in bunny-suits.

my nerves were quelled, and my sense of enjoyment rocketed. The novelty never quite wore off and the atmosphere was always inviting. Some cafes such as ‘Maiddreamin’’ had their own unique lingo, such as a ‘love letter’... which was the bill. Being a foreigner was an icebreaker in itself as usually the first question was about where I was from, and that made starting conversations easy.

There was a ‘classy’ ‘gentleman’s club’ where the women dressed in Playboy Bunny-suits, thighs clad in fishnets. Being my first time in such an environment I had no idea where to keep my eyes, so I probably stared at the ceiling more than the girls. The BunnyGirls didn’t offer lap dances, stripteases or anything of the sort. Even photographs were restricted. I felt like a fish out of water, surrounded by men in suits and women in bunny-suits.

There was another fashioned in a WWII military style. The girls wore green uniforms and marched with big leather boots, ordering you around and singing for you if you paid for the package. When reading the informational booklet I used my phone to google translate the more niche words, and found that these girls were the ‘Akihabara division of the Fuhrer's army’. I couldn’t help but laugh, hoping that perhaps it was a mistranslation of some sort. The place itself had concrete walls and a very spartan design aesthetic; I wondered if it was intentional, or budgetary.

These maid cafes even caused some friendships to happen. I had been attempting to read a map provided on the back of one of the fliers when a Mexican girl who lived in Korea saw me and struck up a conversation. She mentioned that she’d never been to a maid cafe before, so like a true paragon of virtue I brought her along on the adventure. We followed the map to a dark and dingy alleyway where I wouldn’t have been surprised if a knife found its way into my belly, but instead we found a rather cute and low-budget cafe. Lala-chan was our host, and

we were pleasantly surprised at her kindness and cuteness. As we left she wrote us a sweet letter on the back of a picture of her that I had bought.

My most treasured memory of any maid cafe is of Maiddreamin’, the biggest franchise there. I went one day after a shopping trip for some lunch, just to see what it was like. Whilst waiting for my meal I read one of the manga I had bought called ‘Aku No Hana’. Believe me, it’s a niche and very problematic title, but alas, one of the cooks approached me and told me she’d read it. Not a maid, no. A chef. I

Hāpaitia

- Fringe Festival

reviewed by Ashleigh Putt-Fallows (she/her)

Ngāti Whātua, Ngāpuhi-Ngāti Hine, Tūhoe

Content forecast: Flashing Lights, Stage Smoke, Mild Coarse Language, Death

Hāpaitia, created by Parekawa Finlay and Raureti Ormond and produced by Te Auaha, was an incredibly insightful and significant show that explored themes of the Māori mind and emotion intertwined with Te Ao Māori, our history, our whakapapa and our connection to those.

As I walked in, I immediately noticed the set ambience: one suitcase filled with dirt in the middle of the stage, and more falling in. Lighting and sound cemented this effect; mimicking natural light, the ambient sound, soft but present. The show opens with Tīmata, a beautifully written monologue and waiata that highlights the strong connection between the performer and Papatūānuku through their tūpuna. It brings to mind memories of tūpuna on the marae. Then starts Te Kaikohi, where Parekawa explores the internal colonisation of her mind and her journey to free herself from the colonial mindset. With an outstanding balance and smooth transition of humour and serious discussion, she talks about Horatio Robley—a coloniser from the 1860s—his part in our history in and around the Waikato invasion during the Māori land wars. She bares her whole self, in a confronting yet validating first half.

This was complemented by special lighting and sound design, which helped demonstrate emotion and attitudes at the time and connected her kōrero back to the Tikanga of Māori people. Parekawa beautifully explains Tikanga Māori to help illustrate just how different these attitudes were. Raureti then launches into Te Whio, the whistle, which utilises an ensemble to demonstrate some possible kōrero from the victims of the Tangiwai Disaster. Set on Christmas Eve 1953, the kōrero and waiata provide

an emotional experience as you, as the audience, watch the characters give their own lives and the chance to ever see home again. It's a touching and thought-provoking piece that brings us into the lives of those victims. It was evident that much effort had gone into how the waiata was sung and how they sounded, including what different harmonies, emphasises and quiet moments would tell the audience about a particular character or the group. The choreography was well-matched and executed with great timing.

The lighting, along with the costumes and props, effectively conveyed the setting and time period. The ending, Mutunga, had an almost whanau vibe, encouraged by the use of 'Country Roads' by John Denver between Raureti and Parekawa, as they brought us back to the main themes, our connection to te ao, and to each other.

The show and its cast did an exceptional job of highlighting complex topics while also incorporating elements from Te Ao Māori, making it accessible and engaging for all viewers.I believe there is still room for improvement in the waiata and chorus sections, but overall, I would encourage everyone to see this show and truly listen to its message. My one critique would be that it should have a longer run time than just four days.

Unirec Gym

a review

After a summer away, it’s time to get back into shape, right? Thankfully, the university has a gym on-campus. Dan Moskovitz reviews Unirec.

If you read nothing else today, know this; the Kelburn gym has several floors. The lower floors are not only group exercise spaces. The ground floor is an excellent space to work out. I took months to realize there was a whole other space I wasn’t utilizing.

With the disclaimer out of the way, there’s plenty of good spaces all round to work out. The top floor is a useful stretching and core area, the second floor has most of the traditional machines and weights, and on the ground floor there’s an open space alongside bench and squat racks.

All in all, the space is utilized well and there’s something for everyone.

This is all the Kelburn gym however. As for Unirec’s Pipitea gym, my advice is one word; don’t.

Found in the basement of Rutherford House, Pipitea’s gym is cramped. It’s got less equipment, its vibe is depressing, and it’s just not a fun place to workout. Admittedly, I’ve only gone there once when the Kelburn gym closed due to maintenance work. Still it was enough to convince me to get a hold on my membership the next time maintenance work closed Kelburn’s gym.

Price wise, as a student, you can get a year for $209. Divided by the 52 weeks in a year, and you’re paying $4.02 per week at the gym. If you can find a cheaper price in Wellington, I’d love to hear about it.

Though if you’ll be elsewhere in Aotearoa during the uni breaks, you might be better off getting Unirec’s $199 orientation deal, which gives access until the

end of trimester two. However, it comes up to $5.10 per week.

Note the above deal expires on 10 March, so get it while you can.

I’m also yet to hear a bad word said about any of the personal trainers, or any of the staff, for that matter. I’ve needed to get targeted advice on countering muscle imbalances and dealing with back issues a couple of times, and both times the personal trainers at Unirec have been superb.

An hour-long session costs only $35 and you can get five of them for $160, charging you $32 per session. Again, I’d be surprised to find cheaper in Wellington, and there’s an even cheaper program for gym newbies.

There are a couple of pieces of equipment I wish Unirec had - an assisted pull up machine and a genuine leg press would round it out well, but ultimately the gym’s equipment does a solid job, regardless of how you wish to train.

Ultimately, if you're on the fence about Unirec; go for it. As long as you’re using the Kelburn gym.

An Old-Fashioned Lesbian Love Story

watched wistfully by Chloe Eichler (they/she)

Author’s Note: I know Sarah Penny, who plays Alice and Joanne in the show.

Whisking us back to a world of swing jazz and giggle juice, Bars Behind Bars is an immersive experience. From the moment the audience enters, the actors are scattered about, welcoming us, having secret conversations in the hallway, sending us back in time. The show begins with a fourth-wall-breaking introduction to the characters and their lives at The Cat’s Pajamas, an illicit bar in Manhattan during the prohibition. When the bar’s owner is murdered in the back room, his wife Annie is the primary suspect of the interrogation.

Despite having a limited area of IVY Bar to work with, and minimal props, the actors interact with them and each other in a way which makes us feel as though we’re in the audience at The Cat’s Pajamas. Making such a small space work in their favour is really impressive. The only drawback with props is that the cork ‘evidence board’ falls over a few times—finding some way to stick it to the wall, even if it takes a whole stick of blu-tac, would make some scenes run more smoothly.

A highlight of the show for me is the use of voice— the 1920’s New York accent is so distinctive that the show wouldn’t be the same without it, and they were nailed for the most part. And though the music is slightly too loud at times, the clear diction of the performers ensures the lyrics are still brought to life, which is commendable given the speed at which they fly by.

In a show with characters who do morally questionable things, it makes sense that we dislike the characters as

much as they dislike each other—this was performed especially well by the three leads, creating a clear dynamic between them which invites the audience deeper into the mystery. However, we also need to connect with them, even in ways that make us uncomfortable—like relating to Bill’s resentment or Annie’s vanity. There isn’t quite enough weight in the characters’ vulnerable moments; if the tone slows right down from grandiose to intimate, the audience can appreciate them more. If we see Annie let her guard down, Eddie let go of his panic, or Bill let his anger melt into misery, we connect with them in a more profound way.

For me, a large part of the show’s weaknesses come from its length. Because it’s only 45 minutes, there are no other suspects in the murder mystery, and the ending appears largely out of nowhere. As much fun as it was, it’s not a satisfying plot twist if we can’t see it coming, even in retrospect. With that being said, it’s still satisfying in its execution. “An Old-Fashioned Love Story” is undoubtedly the best musical number, with fantastic harmony between actors both in terms of singing and acting. Allikins and Marilyn Mansilla clearly have a great time performing the number, and their energy is infectious. This energy is also brought into the moments of comedy in the show, which are at their best when improvised and particularly with the audience—it gives the fourth-wall breaking a purpose beyond using it to introduce the characters.

With a runtime of only 45 minutes, a small space, and minimal set, props, and costumes, Bars Behind Bars still shines brightly.

podcasts.

with Speaker of the House Teddy O'Neill

Is it your night of the week to cook the flat dinner? Why not pop on a Salient Podcast while you cook up a storm. Tune in this week to hear a tell-all on Nic Smith's preferred Disney prince, and the Salient team's rage about their press pass...

"I would hope you're not hunting people in the mountains, Phoebe!"

Salient Unedited This week, our team talks volunteering, movie theatres and the Salient ball pit. The Unedited Sessions are an inclusive look at behind the scenes content of our Salient Magazine, hosted by Phoebe our editor this year!

"ET or Chewbacca, I'd take either."

Arts & Culture This week, Teddy and Phoebe interview Nic Smith, your Vice Chancellor! They discuss whether they're Team Edward or Team Jacob, how to take out Christopher Luxon, and a LOT more...

- Nic Smith

"VUWSA bought a TANK for the VIET CONG??"

VUWSA Unedited Teddy talks to VUWSA's president Marcail about what the fuck it is that VUWSA actually does!

Aunty Vic dear, Q.

During O-Week, some guys caused significant damage to someone's room, including smashing roof tiles. One of them, whom I went to high school with (not really close, but smalltown dynamics mean everyone from the same school is connected), posted videos of them damaging the room on his private Snapchat. Now, someone has reported them to the RAs, and he's falsely accused me of being the informant because “I'm the only girl in the hall who can see his private stories”. As a result, I'm being labelled as a prude and a snitch by the entire “cool group” of guys, even though I didn't do anything. I feel like this stupid rumour is tarnishing my reputation and any chance of making friends. What should I do?

Advice xxx

Being thrown under the bus by some loser from high school in one of the most crucial time periods for developing friendships is nothing short of infuriating. Making friends in the first year is stressful enough, and unfortunately, reputation does matter.

I’m going to be real; this person sounds violent, disrespectful, and unable to own up to their own actions. Any person who is thick enough to flex such character traits within the first week of living in a building of well over a hundred others will dig their own grave in a matter of months.

This person is evidently insecure in their friendships and does not have a strong standing in the friend group yet. Hence why they did not own up to their actions. There was a fear that they’ll be kicked out. They needed a scapegoat to ensure they retained their social footing, and unfortunately, you were it.

The truth is, this incident will be completely insignificant within 10 days. Not only will you forget about it, everyone else will too.

However, until that happens, I would suggest taking the high road. Keep your head held high. If you

did nothing wrong, assert that in an honest and empathetic manner. Here’s an example:

“I heard you snitched on Brad and his mates last weekend”.

“Ha, nah, can’t say I did! The guy threw himself under the bus; he just used me as a scapegoat for being caught out. He literally posted him and his mates smashing up that kid's room online? What did he expect?”

“Oh true…”

“Yeah, I think he’s pretty desperate to maintain a footing in that new friend group. Hope he’s doing okay”.

Done, leave it at that. You come across as kind, yet self-assured while demonstrating emotional intelligence by seeing through the scapegoating. In the meantime, avoid such people. Find those who lift you up, and be the kindest person in the room. Remember people’s names. Introduce yourself to the person who has nobody to talk to. Rumours may knock your reputation, but it is your everyday actions that create the strong foundation of it. If you have a strong foundation, it’ll stay standing—even if some loser from high school tries to throw it under the bus.

Need a hand?

Send your anonymous questions here! e

VUWSA

wtf is a union?

Words by Marcail Parkinson (she/her)

Column supplied by VUWSA President

When I first started working, unions seemed like a distant concept, something I heard mentioned in passing but never really understood. What did they even do? Were they just a bunch of organisations with confusing acronyms? And most importantly, what did they have to do with me?

But then, like many of us, I encountered some truly shit work scenarios and then ended up in a classic Wellington flat (mouldy, cold, and with no opening windows!). These things seemed unfair, but I didn't know where to turn for help. That’s when I started at VUWSA and quickly realised the necessity of unions.

Turns out unions are a poor student’s best friend— being in a union is like having a guy who you can complain to when people are being horrible to you and they can step in and fight your fights for you. Your union is there to stand up for you and do the work to make sure you get treated right.

Essentially, a union is a collective voice for workers, an organisation that stands up for employees in the workplace. They act as advocates, both collectively and individually with the employee's consent, negotiating for better working conditions and fair treatment.

One of the primary functions of unions is to bargain for collective employment agreements with employers. These agreements outline the terms and conditions of employment, including wages, hours, benefits, and workplace policies. By banding together, workers gain strength in numbers, increasing their bargaining power and ensuring their voices are heard.

But unions offer more than just collective bargaining. They provide invaluable support and resources to their members. From offering advice on work-related issues to providing training and educational opportunities,

unions empower workers to understand their rights and stand up for themselves.

Membership in a union typically requires payment of a fee, but for those in casual or fixed-term positions, the cost is often minimal or even free. And the benefits far outweigh the dues. By joining a union, you not only gain access to expert guidance and representation but also become part of a community. You'll have the chance to connect with fellow workers, join networks based on common interests or identities, and build solidarity across different sectors.

So, when you find yourself in need of advice, support, or representation at work, remember that unions are there for you. Whether it's addressing a dispute, navigating a disciplinary process, or asserting your rights in the workplace, unions have your back.

VUWSA are a student union which means we’re here to look after students and whatever it is that students care about. Our advocacy service deals with all kinds of issues, from problems with the uni and your courses to employment to renting we’ve got you covered. Luckily for you VUWSA is also free (although we are partially funded through your student services fee), so make sure to make the most of our services!

What union is right for you??

All Vic Uni Students - VUWSA (free) Tutors & other uni staff - TEU (free for tutors) Hospo workers - Unite Union Public Sector - PSA

If you aren’t sure which union to join come chat with us at the VUWSA office or look on the NZCTU website <3

Behind the Screens

words by Guy van Egmond (he/him)

Oh, the magic of the movie theatre. The latest cinematic art and entertainment on the silver screen; luxury seats and service, the widest array of confectionery and the greatest markup on a bag of chips known to mankind. I spent 5 years working at an adorable cinema up north and it was one of the greatest first jobs any 14-year-old could hope for. Working a couple shifts a week, I built up my hours behind the counter, under seats and inside projectors. I climbed the ranks to be assistant manager by the time I left. But, as with any industry, work somewhere long enough and the illusions of rigour and quality fade, the cheeky shortcuts and blindspots become clear. I have no grievances with cinemas—I still go very regularly—but I do think it’s only fair to now offer a glimpse behind that silver screen.

First order of business, I admit: cinema food is overpriced, often ridiculously so. But please grin and bear it. The problem doesn’t lie with the cinema; they’ve got wages and power and rent to pay. But that money sure doesn’t come from tickets. For a big blockbuster like Barbie or Oppenheimer, the faceless money-hungry studios demand more than half of ticket sales in the opening weeks—and continue to carve out their chunk of profit throughout the film's release. The films make piss-all profit themselves, but they’re incredible people-magnets: cinemas are basically candy-shops that happen to have a couple projectors going in the back. How else could people be tempted to buy an ice-cream, drink and a bag of chips for $18?

In all honesty, I wouldn’t want to pay that much either. So I could never get too mad when people ran to the Four Square for a Party Mix and a Coke. If I didn’t catch you? Fair play, enjoy. Just take your rubbish out with you! There is no bigger middle finger to some poor kid on minimum-wage than an empty can of Pringles on the floor, the last chips ground to dust in the carpet. You and I both know they didn’t sell those, so you can save them the extra work too. But the lolly-smuggler’s litter is nothing in comparison to what else could be found after screenings. The lost property was always stacked with sunglasses (easy to lose), credit cards (unfortunate), shoes (how didn’t you notice?!), car keys (how did you get home!?!). And what the rubbish bin got was even worse. One coworker’s favourite story was the used tampon he’d found on the floor…

We’d find these things while cleaning the theatres, but don’t fool yourself into thinking it’s sanitary. If you’re after the cleanest seat, bring it from home. We’d get hundreds of people through a single space each day, and the credits didn’t last nearly long enough to do a thorough job. The most you could hope for is a sweep of the crumbs and a wipe of the tabletop. To be fair, that’s all that most seats needed after a session. Every so often, some inept child would spill half an ice cream over the armrest, but that’s nothing a bit of fabric cleaner and a wet cloth couldn’t fix. However, any seasoned employee would know which seats never to choose: the one sat in by the lady who had some bad chicken from the restaurant downstairs; the one sat in by the 4-year old and their apple juice who didn’t need to “go bathroom” before the film. Those seats are beyond cleaning. Those seats should be burned.

Or at least deeply sanitised. Which does happen, I promise you. Besides Christmas, there were one or two days a year where we’d close up shop for the whole day. A battalion of us youths tempted by extra pay—and our 32-year-old manager who didn’t get a choice—would march through each theatre. The

forward ranks with brushes and dustpans, spray bottles and cloths; behind them followed the vacuum and the steam cleaner, heavy artillery of this battlefield. The months of dust and crumbs never stood a chance. Buckets worth of stale popcorn, gum, bottle caps, dollar coins were pried out from between the seats. Mysterious stains were erased from existence, the pattern of the carpet rediscovered. It was always a hard day’s work, but satisfying. And afterwards, we’d go buy waffles with all the loose change we found. But we weren’t a troupe of hired cleaners. The majority of our work instead required smiles and saintly patience, and an arsenal of ‘mm’s and ‘mhm’s. There’s an art to managing customers, skills which were very often put to the test. That black marble countertop saw some of the most ignorant, self-important and indecisive people Auckland had to offer; like the Almond Milk Lady, who tried to use an expired student ID every time and would complain that her order of ‘scalding almond milk’ was both too expensive and not hot enough.

Working the box office was the greatest hands-on crash-course; I learnt volumes about rhetoric and improvisation. After 8 hours of dusting and cleaning, it was rare that I'd want to spend another 2 hours in those very same seats. Which meant I very often hadn’t seen every single film we had screening at that moment. But with clues picked up from the poster and reviews, I could pitch just about any film to any guest. I once sold a man a ticket to Paw Patrol: The Movie at 10:15 in the morning. Although, I don’t know if I can claim much credit there, he just needed to kill an hour.

Then there were the moments that called for feigned shock and horror. Those chips you just bought were a week past their best-before? “Oh jeez, I had no idea, I’m so sorry.” Damn, we were hoping no one would notice. Like restaurants reusing the table bread and butter, cinemas are masters at making stock last. The best-before date is a loose guideline at best, and not legally binding. Besides, the chips tasted fine! I would know, I ‘checked’ an entire bag of them in my break. Slightly more criminal was when my manager gave me a box of colas dated to three weeks ago. I spent half an hour in the back with meths and a cloth, rubbing the best-before dates off bottle necks.

Infuriatingly, the times they never believed me were when I spoke with full honesty. The post-credits scene is a fun little gimmick and it gets people to sit through the credits. But certain unnamed franchises such as Marvel have pavloved audiences into expecting a reward at the end of every film, which very often is not the case. There were countless times that I’d be forced to sit in the theatre, listening to credits music that I’d heard three times already that day, because two diehards wouldn’t take my word for it. No, there’s no teaser for Elvis 2, go home!

The cinema certainly has its quirks, some more off-putting than others. But that’s the case with almost any industry: restaurants, hotels. I’m sure builders cut corners, and even a surgeon must forget to sanitise on occasion. We humans are inherently gross and lazy creatures. So please, don’t let me put you off the movie experience. It’s a wonderful way to spend a couple hours and a couple dollars. Take the upgrade on the popcorn and the chocolate-dipped icecream. Enjoy! Settle into your seat and try not to think about how many others sat there before, or why the attendant chuckled when you picked your seat, or what that weirdly sour smell is…

Hospo & ur mother & dog

words

and images

by Nadezhda Macey (she/her)

Everyone and their mother and their dog has worked hospo, and if you haven’t, I’m a little suspicious. If you work hospo you’ve likely got worthy qualities and you’re also considering when to quit. The rigorous work ethic of the service industry is applicable anywhere from a film set to a law firm to a kindergarten, but it burns you out like no other.

No matter your restaurant or bar, it’s love/hate. Working nights, I’d be at Uni from my 9am lecture then walk straight down the hill to work 4 ‘til late. I went to sleep and dreamt of the order I forgot to put through, the jug of water I didn’t bring to Table 12. Mundane bad dreams, working through the night and waking up ready to leave the shift, then back to Uni, then do it all over again. You’re exhausted, you’re dealing with older people who don’t respect you (“I want to speak to your manager!”, “That’s me.”). You’re busy every Friday night and who—from kitchen to FoH—doesn’t have a nicotine addiction?

But there’s also so much joy. When the night's running smoothly and you pause, looking out at a restaurant you’re running, 72 seats of 50-somethings. The new, unexpected friendships—a 17-year-old dishie, chefs with floury hands thinking up nicknames for FoH; 30-year-olds with boyish grins and hot olives as treats. You’re bonded over that hellish rush yesterday, that cup of filter coffee, that staff meal, that Turkish song Cormac blasts after the last customers leave.

BoH & FoH are very separate during shifts, but before and after the sections blur. I’d finish prep early and wander bored into the kitchen to chop onions, Jonty peering through his fingers at my knife skills. My favourite was trying a new dish in the early evening — today’s special slid hot over the pass, expectant eyes watching your first bite. “I knew it! It’s missing something. Acid!?” It tasted great to me.

Always short on staff meant chefs quitting, then working the grill every other week. Or, my younger siblings filling in shifts. This was endless amusement for everyone else —watching us trying to stifle our bickering on the floor. I’d ask, as shift manager, for my little sister to polish the cutlery, or set a table, and get “don’t tell me what to do” in response. But it’s impressive to see the care and responsibility of young people serving those older. People forget their age—you often want to march out to the obnoxious man by the window and remind him “You’re 50 being nasty to a 16 yo. Really?”

Each night you tell stories, saying the beginning sentence ten times. I stand at the front desk, waiting for bookings and secretly counting the tip jar, “staff hummus fund,” contents. Ash stands with me for a second and I get a snippet of what happened at last week's party. The bell dings, we startle, bring hot bread and muhammara to Table 5, then turn to the bar for the punchline; “They slept together?!” You’re gossiping up and down the restaurant one moment, then stressed, heads down as 7pm hits and half of Wellington arrives.

I met Cormac on my first shift when I started as a dishie. He was engaged in one of his hour-long bits, something about wearing a cape and claws and swooping through the restaurant. He was a constant—there for my first shift and my last, and now a close friend. Get into it folks. You have to rely on each other so often at work, you start to do it outside too.

Last Valentine’s Day I stood with him polishing glasses, crouching behind the bar for bites of osmalieh—ricotta, rose petal, and simple syrup sticking to the tongue. We watched over a full house of couples, imagining backstories for each one, “Oh they’re definitely fighting.” I told him about my failed romance, no Valentine's flowers for me this year. Cormac pouted his bottom lip, but with a look genuinely sad. Your workmates follow your romances and dramas from the beginning, invested in unmet side characters.

I laughed at this face, stacked the waiting hot dishes up my arm, and walked out between the tables. Cormac changed the mixtape, the song, again. I was banned after putting on my everything playlist for set up, only remembering when taking an order and British drill started playing. Ash turned to me wide-eyed, “both hands on the back when I tap it…” echoing through the restaurant.

Even if you don’t need the money, you should work hospo. It teaches you about the food you’re eating, the people preparing it. You won’t look at a waiter or a chef the same way, or stop saying “behind”. It’s a rite of passage: vaping by the bins in the rain, mopping the floors to Bladee before someone’s 21st, arriving hours late. Girls really do just wanna have fun, and an early close.

PICTURED: (both pages) black and white photographs of hospitality workers posing with cutlery and napkins while on shift.

01

02

03

04

05

What year was the United Nations established?

Who has won the most total Academy Awards?

What artist has the most streams on Spotify?

How many minutes are in a full week?

What car manufacturer had the highest revenue in 2020?

03.

01.

How many birds can you find in this issue? Flick through the magazine, count them all and send your answer to letters@salient.org.nz and be in

puzzles panga

DOWN

1. Word that appears in three clues in this puzzle (4)

2. Blade on a rifle; type of light bulb with prongs (7)

3. It comes in a quiver? (5)

4. French cosmetics brand whose name derives from the Greek for 'beauty' (7)

5. High scores out of ten (5)

6. One who provides coverage in case of damage (7)

GIVE IT A REST

CROSSWORD MADE BY PUCK

ACROSS

1. Big-city transport options; popular sandwich restaurants (7)

5. Protected fleshy bit of your fingertip (4,3) *

9. Tory Whanau's role in Wellington (5)

10. Japanese company that used to be the world's largest consumer electronics maker (9)

11. Desk toy with some clacking balls (7,6) *

13. Barbuda's partner in the Caribbean (7)

15. People who you should really text to let them know how your first week went, go on, I'll wait (7)

17. Men's underwear that really doesn't leave anything to the imagination (6,7) *

22. Shore by a certain body of water (9)

23. Actor Swinton of 'Asteroid City' and 'Doctor Strange' (5)

24. Fruit with orange flesh (7) *

7. Absolutely screwed; like some store-bought salmon (5)

8. Lessen or dwindle; use an iron on (8)

12. Australian capital (8)

14. Not having a brand name; uninteresting (7)

15. Vegetable with orange flesh (7)

16. Russian author Gogol or Russian composer RimskyKorsakov (7)

18. Not once (5)

19. What the Tin Man is looking for in 'The Wizard of Oz' (5)

20. 'Love ____' (Beyoncé hit) (2,3)

21. Tortoise's opponent in a fabled race (4)

25. Chance for some rest... which you might get on any of the answers to the starred clues (7)

WORD SCRAMBLE

How many words (of three letters or more) can you make from these letters (according to the Scrabble UK dictionary)?

Good: 8

Very Good: 10

Excellent: 12+

Hey, I'm Jess

the artist behind UGGLYUGGLY. I'm 23, an Aussie, and I love celebrating uniqueness. In my art, I tell stories through gender-fluid characters framed by lush nature in trippy, psychedelic scenes. Come, dive into the vibrant world I create and see more on the @UGGLYUGGLY Instagram

Salient 2024

Second Row: Phoebe Robertson (she/her, Editor) ; Te Huihui Tran (he/him, Te Ao Māori Co-Editor) ; Ashleigh Putt-Fallows (she/her, Te Ao Māori Co-Editor) ; Jamie Clumpas (he/any, Contributing Writer) ; Guy van Egmond (he/him, Contributing Writer) ; Jia Sharma (she/her, Staff Writer) ; Mauatua Fa'ara-Reynolds (she/her, Staff Writer) ; Henry Broadbent (he/him, Sub-Editor)

Front Row: Teddy O'Neill (he/it/ia, Speaker of the House) ; Ava O'Brien (she/her, Distributor) ; Ethan Rogacion (he/him, News Co-Editor) ; Dan Moskovitz (he/him, Chief Reporter) ; Will Irvine (he/him, News Co-Editor) ; Kate Seager (she/her, Designer)

Third Row: Emily (Kate's cat) ; Oogway (Teddy's cat) ; M&M (Ashleigh's cat) ; Nic Smith (Vice Chancelor) ; Hoiho