Drugs | Issue 08

vol.77 issue.08

the drugs issue

contents weekly content 4. Letters 6. News 4 1 . Vu w s a 4 4 . C r e at i v e 46. Arts 51. Odds And Ends

columns 1 7 . R a m b l i n g s o f a Fa l l e n H a c k 1 8 . Th e B o n e Z o n e w i t h C u p i e H o o d w i n k 19. Sports Banter 3 8 . We i r d I n t e r n e t S h i t 38. Conspiracy Corner 39. Food 4 0 . B e i n g We l l 4 0 . M āo r i M at t e r s 4 1 . Vu w s a 4 1 . Th e I n t r e p i d V C G u i l f o r d 4 2 . H i s t o r y t h at h a s n’t h a p p e n e d y e t 43. Shirt and Sweet with Eleanor Merton 4 3 . Fa s h i o n

features 1 2 . I n t e r v i e w Wi t h A D r u g L o r d 2 0 . H i p p o c r i t i c a l Oat h 22. Growers’ Almanac 2 3 . Wh o’s D a k G i r l ?

2 4 . A f t e r Th e S m o k e H a s C l e a r e d 28. Highdeas 3 3 . A S t o n e r ’ s S o j o u r n I n t o Th e E m e r a l d T r i a n g l e 3 6 . I n t e r v i e w Wi t h A B u d d i n g E n t r e p e n e u r

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the drugs issue

Cam smokes weed nearly every day. Duncan smokes a jay occasionally at parties. Neither of us should be labelled criminals.

I

n preparing this issue, one thing became quite clear: politics gets in the way of sensible policy.

Here in New Zealand, lawmakers are lawbreakers. Politicians believe that people who smoke cannabis should be treated as criminals. Then, in the very next breath, they laugh when they admit they’ve inhaled. They are lucky that they didn’t get caught.

But there are unlucky ones who do get caught. They can’t travel or find jobs. Some get locked up. We should be ashamed to live in a land where justice is a hypocritical game.

When we interviewed Peter Dunne, the Minister of Drugs, he told us that the Police were no longer prosecuting low-level cannabis possession. When we looked at the stats, we found possession charges had decreased by a quarter last year alone. But when we put this to the Police, they outright denied that they had changed their policy. When we asked them to explain the decrease, they couldn’t.

Someone’s lying.

We also asked the Police about our nation’s secret shame: if the Police catch you getting stoned, they’re four times more likely to prosecute you if you’re Māori. They said they have no concerns about that. We’re not ones to throw around terms like ‘racist pigs’, but if the shoe fits...

When we put the same statistic to the Minister of Police, she said that she hadn’t seen any evidence of racism from the police. We just showed you the evidence, you stupid fuckface. Police brutality is alive in our country.

You’d hope, then, that at least the Māori Party would support a change to our four-decade-old drugs law. But guess what? They don’t.

Before you get outraged at their lack of action, realise this: people our age also have massively higher prosecution rates. Just as the Māori Party should advocate change to help Māori, we should advocate change to help students.

If the people in charge are unwilling or unable to have a sober conversation about drugs, if they can’t engage meaningfully, then it’s up to us to have the discussion ourselves.

Let’s be clear: you do not have to be pro-drugs to be pro- drug reform. As Ross Bell, head of the NZ Drug Foundation, says: “drugs can be fucken harmful for a fuck-load of people”. It’s true: drugs can cause incredible harm when used incorrectly or abused. You’d have to be smoking something to think otherwise.

But banning drugs is not the answer. We have a deep intuition that if something is bad, we must get rid of it. We must ban it. The problem is that banning ‘it’ often just makes the problem worse.

Why? We will find a way to get high, always. The Police openly admit that “methamphetamine is not going away”. We can’t ban alcohol: if you leave grapes in a barrel too long, they turn to wine. We can’t get rid of cannabis: excuse the shit pun, but it literally grows like weeds.

If we try to ban having fun, we’re going to lose.

Most of us can accept that there will always be a steady supply of

drugs. The aim, therefore, shouldn’t be a New Zealand free of drugs: it should be a society free of drug-harm.

If we agree that addiction is a health issue rather than a legal one, we should support reform. We shouldn’t make criminals out of addicts. We should offer them the rehabilitation and care that they need to slowly regain control of their life.

Put yourselves in the shoes of someone going through the horrors of cancer treatment. A wonderful new pill comes on the market. It relieves your nausea, stops you vomiting and gives you back your appetite. The one side effect was that it gave you the giggles.

Imagine if the Government didn’t let you have it.

Medical marijuana is that pill. Did you know that aspirin is made from chemical compounds taken from the bark of willow trees? But we don’t smoke bark when we have a headache. We take two aspirin with a glass of water. The same goes for medical marijuana. This is science. We shouldn’t make criminals out of the sick.

We shouldn’t waste money fighting the doomed War on Drugs.

Currently our government spends $100 million a year enforcing prohibition of weed. By contrast, Colorado received $2 million in January alone from taxes on legal marijuana. Think of all the good our government could do with that extra cash. Instead, the money goes to gangs. The black market for cannabis is worth upwards of $250 million. You do the maths. We shouldn’t make criminals rich.

It’s the most tired argument in the drugs debate, but we have to confront it: booze is infinitely more harmful than weed if abused.

One in 20 New Zealanders will die from alcohol-related causes.

Think about that next time someone says weed is too dangerous a drug to be legalised.

Drug prohibition is nothing but a form of snobbery. Some people like to get drunk and lose their inhibitions and memories and dignity.

Others like to get high and think deeply and laugh and fall asleep. It makes no sense that one of those is legal and the other is not. Just let people have fun in their own way, for fuck’s sake.

By all means, you can hate the drugs. Just stop hurting the people, man.

P e ace ,

Du ncan & Cam

editor@salient.org.nz

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letter of the week 6 across: four letter swear word Dearest Salient Where the fuck are the fucking answers for your stupid fucking crossword. I fucking have to spend fucking ages scouring the fucking internet when I can’t fucking figure out a fucking word because you lazy fucking fucks can’t put answers in with the next fucking weeks crossword. I NEED FUCKING CLOSURE. Yours motherfucking truly, Fuck

WIN FREE COFFEE Are you angry, elated or apathetic about Salient? Send us a letter of less than 250 words to editor@salient.org.nz. Pseudonyms are fine, but all letters must include your real name, address and telephone number.

These will not be printed. Letters will not be corrected for spelling or grammar. The Editors reserve the right to edit, abridge or decline any letters. The letter of the week wins a coffee from Vic Books.

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the drugs issue

LETTERS

hell hath no furry dear jezebelient so fuckin done bros. so fuckin done. first you publish like fifteen issues on ‘social issues’ without a single fuckin article on nofapseptember or brony-bullying, then you fuckin publish a guide to sextoys and only include like two paragraphs on male orientated sex toys. i don’t know who cupie hoodwink is but she seems to hate men. fuck u salient. yours, le reader

to see your magazine giving time to antiporn viewpoints in the article “Porn Hub”, especially considering some of the content that was published earlier this year.

However, the following feature, “On the Job”, was absolutely revolting in the way it morally equated pimping with working in prostitution. To be prostituted and to profit from the prostitution of others are not remotely equivalent.

Regards, Kadin

water you on Dear Wellington city planners

across the uni verse Hey Groovy-ent, Not meaning to harsh your mellow, But I read your poetry in yellow, And I admired the poetic fellows, You’ve put on your scene.

You should be pruning more content from the poet-tree So I, an aged hippy parody, Can enjoy more di-verse-ity, In your humble zine.

Peace signed, Mary Windcries

yea fuck you craccum I’m a recent grad from Auckland University. Just wanted to let you know how awesome Salient is, compared with Craccum. Love the non-glossy paper, the lack of ads, the witty articles and creative writing... and the naked photo of Cam, very daring!

Keep up the good work!

porn hubbub Dear Salient, It was certainly a very pleasant surprise

Your three story high fountain in the harbour is a serious tease. Such a water feature, toddler-less and without bubble bath is baffling to me. What were you thinking?

Sincerely, Wrong

call us (04 463 6766) Dear M’lient After reading the last issue I feel we have so much in common. Like there’s this deep emotional connection between us. Now I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

I’m a nice guy and will love you for ever. I live for Mondays when I can discretely and gently carcass you in lectures. You should definitely come over to watch Game of Thrones and have a few drinks with me.

And then we can fuck.

Salient pls pls respond Fuck, caress. Change that omg. sorry for mistake m’lady. My fingers slipped as I was thinking of you.

Luv U so much

it’s all true

Re: Cam losing his virginity at 16 to a 35-year old air hostess, in last week’s editorial. Very skeptical, sounds straight out of a porno. Pics or it didn’t happen.

Regards, Boy whose flat got into an argument over the truthfulness of this virginity story

eat your words Dear Salient, your article on Anorexia, “Biting Back” (Body Issue), really fucking upset me. I’m totally supportive of discussing Eating Disorders but you can’t throw around words like “fad” and “trend” when you’re talking about a serious and sometimes deadly disease.

You can’t make claims like: “Girls are more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear wars, cancer, or losing their parents”.

Generalisations are generally shit. My sister didn’t give a fuck about her weight until it was the only thing she could control in her life. Restricting food became a way to torment and punish herself in the way she thought she deserved.

As for the “silver lining” - after going through the NZ mental health system for years I never found any lining of any colour. The support offered to people with Eating Disorders is poor within the health system and the community.

Eating Disorders are in no way a fucking FAD. Nor are they “A fashion movement where death is success”. Not for those of us who spend years in and out of hospitals, institutions and smaller houses desperately trying to keep a loved one alive. My sister will carry this with her for the rest of her life.

So, next time you write on Eating Disorders tell us your story, but don’t make any claims you can’t prove and don’t make facts where there aren’t any.

Hi Bullsh*tlient,

editor@salient.org.nz

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FUCKFACE OF LAST WEEK John Campbell

is our person of last week .

the public into a frenzy .

T he

He’s

whipped

latest social evil threatening

to tear apart our moral fabric ?

S ynthetics. H e

cynically

exploited the victims of these drugs in an attempt to create moral panic .

I s this the kind of media we want in N ew Z ealand? When news reporting is mixed with sensationalist reality TV, facts get distorted . H ere ’ s some news for you John: since last year , the number of outlets has decreased by 95 per cent . U sage has decreased by two - thirds .

There is no denying that synthetic drugs can be harmful.

But by focussing only on the extreme cases to further his own personal brand , C ampbell demonstrated a cynical F ox News– style approach to journalism. He doesn’t care about the people on his show . H e did nothing to help them . H e forced a law change that hurts them . W e deserve better .

John Campbell preys on those who can’t defend themselves.

H e’ s a cheap phoney .

BY THE NUMBERS

220

Girls and young women who remain kidnapped by Islamic extremists in Nigeria. 50 girls managed to escape, but around 220 are still captive, and are reportedly being forced to ‘marry’ their captors.

4

The number of officers who have died while policing cannabis in New Zealand.

UNKNOWN

The number of civilians killed every year by US drone strikes, after senators backed out of revealing the death toll.

80%

The percentage of New Zealanders who have tried marijuana.

1 IN 20

The proportion of New Zealanders who die as a result of drinking alcohol.

21. 3 %

The percentage of New Zealanders surveyed who have used amphetamines at least once in their lifetime.

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the drugs issue

K een

eye for news ?

S end

NEWS

any tips , leads or gossip to news @ salient . org . nz

BUS STOPPED REGIONAL COUNCIL MAKES IT HARDER TO USE PUBLIC TRANSPORT TO GET TO CLASS

by Sophie Boot

T

he Greater Wellington Regional Council is looking to cut University bus routes, including the popular number 18, in a move VUWSA says will add to student travel time and CBD congestion.

Under the Draft Regional Public Transport Plan, currently in the process of consultation, new “hubs” will be created at the Railway Station, Karori Tunnel and Courtenay Place.

The number-18 route will be cut in favour of “frequent direct connections from hubs” which will “enable access from across Wellington.” The 17, 20, 22, 23 and 47 routes will also be replaced by new University bus routes, L and M, which would operate seven days a week.

The M will go from Wellington Station to Kelburn Campus, via the Terrace, every 7.5 minutes, down from the current interval of 5.7 minutes for the multiple routes which access the University.

The L will go from Karori to Mount Victoria via Courtenay Place.

It would go from Courtenay Place to Kelburn Campus every ten minutes, an improvement on the current 12-minute interval.

VUWSA’s Welfare Vice-President Rick Zwaan said that the cuts will add time to students’ commutes and cause stress.

“The changes would mean that most people travelling from Newtown would go along the ‘Golden Mile’ route before having to transfer to travel up the Terrace from the Railway Station end. This would add 3.3 km to the route, increasing the travel time by at least five minutes in off-peak travel – a 25 per cent increase. Congestion along the Golden Mile during peak hours would increase this even further,” Zwaan said.

The Plan also proposes introducing a 25 per cent off-peak concession, while removing the current disability concession.

The concession would apply to travel from 9 am to 3.30 pm and after 6.30 pm Monday to Friday, and 5 am Saturday to midnight Sunday. However, this proposal is in the long-term plan, so if

approved would not be enacted for more than ten years.

The GWRC says that an across-the-board off-peak concession is “fairer and more equitable” than a discount targeted towards tertiary students.

“An across-the-board concession for all tertiary students would mean that everyone studying at a tertiary institution – regardless of their economic circumstances – would pay cheaper fares. However, young people on the minimum wage or jobseeker allowance would pay the full fares.”

“These changes would also benefit many tertiary students, with Victoria University reporting that two-thirds of student travel is in off-peak periods.”

The GWRC is also considering introducing a fare-capping regime and investigating the introduction of a “bulk purchase product” which would initially be targeted towards tertiary students.

Mayor Celia Wade-Brown supports the concessions, saying that “affordable fares are critical in getting more people onto public transport. This is a good step forward.”

Paul Bruce, Councillor on the GWRC, said that he was happy with the discount but thought that it was primarily based on traffic reduction. He said there should be a specific student discount but that it should be funded by central government, like the Gold Card.

Bruce also said there was a “democratic deficit” as there had been only three public meetings about the proposal, which he found “deeply disturbing.”

The Plan also proposes integrated ticketing, with one “smart card” for all public transport. The smart card would also eliminate “transfer penalties” so there would be no extra cost to transfer between buses, trains and ferries. However, this would involve “a three-to-fiveyear business transformation process”, so the earliest this could be introduced would be 2017.

Another proposed option is bulk purchasing, whereby organisations would be able to bulk-buy public-transport period passes at a discounted rate. According to the plan, this would be initially targeted at university students, but work on pricing and scheme development has not been done yet.

The Draft Regional Public Transport Plan is open for submissions until 9 May.

editor@salient.org.nz

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NEWS FEATURE

PROGRESS MADE ON PATH

T R I G G E R WA R N I N G :

BUT MORE CHANGE NEEDED

This content deals with an account of sexual assault and may be triggering to some people.

by Sophie Boot

T

he University and VUWSA are continuing to look into ways to improve student safety on campus, following three sexually motivated attacks on the Boyd-Wilson path in three weeks.

A meeting was held between the University and VUWSA on 1 May, where they agreed to “take a coordinated approach to issues involving student safety.”

The University agreed to investigate the possibility of its safe van being able to transport students who are on campus late at night to the city, on top of its current service returning students to Kelburn from the city.

Both VUWSA and the University will also continue to research safety initiatives used by other universities. However, Salient understands that the University is concerned about the cost of comprehensive campus-security measures like panic buttons, such as those in place at the University of Otago.

CCTV cameras were finally installed on the path on 23 April, following what Police told Salient was a decade of sexual assaults on the path, and three attacks over three weeks around the Easter holidays.

At the time, VUWSA President Sonya Clark said she would like to see the introduction of panic stations, which are in place at the University of Otago and University of Canterbury.

“We want to see the introduction of ‘emergency help stations’, like the ones at Otago and Canterbury Universities, with a panic button, phone and light attached. The introduction of a service where Campus Security walk people off campus at night is also a

change VUWSA would like to see.”

The path has been the site of multiple assaults over the years, and Salient has covered student concerns about the path since 2010.

Official responses have been slow, and it was not until the end of 2013 that lights were installed along the length of the path, despite this having been promised when the path became more heavily used after the 2010 redevelopment of the Boyd-Wilson Field.

When asked why CCTV had not been installed prior to April’s attacks, despite at least one assault occurring already that year and in 2013, Director of Campus Services Jenny Bentley said that “a range of improvements have been made over the past decade” and that the University would continue to work with the Police and Wellington City Council to improve safety.

A woman was sexually assaulted on the path on 28 March 2014.

This triggered a meeting between the University, Council, Police, Chubb Security and Te Aro School. Foliage maintenance on the path was increased, and the Council and University agreed to work together to install CCTV. Salient reported on 14 April that first-year students in University Hall of Residence Te Puni Village felt unsafe using the path, and they had been told not to use the path. The University told Salient that they were advising students not to use the path alone.

On 19 April and 20 April, two women are assaulted in separate, sexually motivated attacks. The descriptions given by both women indicate the same attacker in both incidents.

Media scrutiny following the two attacks, as well as a student

SEXUAL ASSAULT CRIMELINE •

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•

8

SEPTEMBER 2010 – Students raise concerns about lack of path lighting during the Boyd-Wilson Field redevelopment. VUWSA says the lighting issue will be resolved when the field redevelopment is completed in October.

2011 – A VUWSA safety audit finds 26 per cent of women feel there is inadequate lighting and a lack of safe pathways on campus.

2012 – A second VUWSA safety audit

the drugs issue

• •

•

finds over half the respondents feel unsafe when on campus after dark. 80 per cent say the main reason they feel unsafe is poor lighting in many areas of campus.

VUWSA discontinues Campus Angels due to high cost and poor usage.

MID-2013 – A woman is assaulted on the path. The University says it is working with the Wellington City Council to improve lighting and safety.

AUGUST 2013 – Students continue to

•

• •

feel unsafe using the path, telling The Dominion Post they are catching taxis rather than using the path.

OCTOBER 2013 – LED lights are placed along the length of the path, the outcome of cooperation between VUWSA, WCC, the University and Te Aro School.

28 MARCH 2014 – A woman is assaulted on the path.

3 APRIL – Representatives from the University, WCC, Police, Chubb

NEWS FEATURE

petition for greater safety measures, lead to the fast-tracking of installation of CCTV along the path.

Victoria students expressed fear and frustration at the third attack, and questioned whether Police and the University were doing enough to keep them safe. Some students suggested reintroducing the Campus Angels service run by VUWSA until 2012, or the installation of panic buttons along the path, as well as increased lighting.

Students also noted that advice not to use the path was not practical, as the path is a key access route for students in Te Puni, a University Hall of Residence which is home to around 400 first-year students, as well as for students who live in Kelburn and surrounding suburbs.

Richard MacLean, Communications Advisor for the Council, said better lighting would be installed along the path. However, MacLean told Salient that safety concerns had to be balanced with the concerns of residents, as “no one wants bright glaring lights.”

VUWSA President Sonya Clark said that it was very important to improve safety on the path, as well as many other paths around Wellington where students feel unsafe.

Clark also stressed the importance of not blaming victims, and said that it was not good enough to tell students simply not to use a key campus path.

“It isn’t good enough to tell women, especially students, that they shouldn’t walk alone at night,” said Clark.

MacLean denied that the Council was placing the blame on victims. However, the Council continues to advise women not to use the path alone.

Clark said VUWSA wants feedback on the security changes, and that there was still progress to be made.

“It is good emergency towers or panic alarms are being investigated.

We also think there needs to be better signage on the pathway itself to inform students of the University numbers to call for assistance, or if there is something that needs fixing.”

•

Security and Te Aro School meet to discuss safety on the path. The WCC agrees to increase foliage maintenance and boost lighting, as well as authorising the installation of CCTV cameras to be paid for by the University. The WCC also commits to installing pedestrian barriers along the pathway between the cul-de-sac and the Boyd-Wilson Field.

14 APRIL – Students tell Salient they still feel unsafe on the path, and say that the path is still not well lit.

•

• • •

19 APRIL – A woman is assaulted on the path. Students start a change.org petition calling on the University, WCC and Police to increase safety measures and patrolling of the path.

20 APRIL – A woman is assaulted on the path.

Descriptions indicate this is the same man who had attacked a woman the previous night.

The WCC says it is hesitant to install more lighting along the path as “no one

•

•

wants bright glaring lights”.

23 APRIL – Amid outrage and fear about three attacks in three weeks, the WCC says it will install a CCTV camera along the path.

NOW – The University says it “will continue to work with the Police and the Wellington City Council on improving lighting, surveillance and maintenance of the path and will continue to discuss and investigate additional measures which could improve safety.”

editor@salient.org.nz

9

NEWS

ILLEGAL HIGHS REACHING NEW LOWS ARE POLICE FAILING TO WEED OUT CRIMINALS?

by Alice Peacock

P

claims that they have begun to turn a blind eye to cannabis use have been firmly debunked by Police officials.

“There has been no change in policy regarding low-end cannabis possession. Rather, the focus of our drug efforts are aimed at the importers, dealers and manufacturers of drugs as highlighted in this release.”

An increased focus of drug-enforcement efforts on the importers, dealers, and manufacturers of drugs has seen a 59 per cent increase in offences in this category.

Minister of Police Anne Tolley said she is “confident that Police enforce the law and prosecute where appropriate.”

New Zealand currently is currently ranked as having the ninthhighest rate of cannabis consumption in the world.

While Police are focussing on the root of New Zealand’s marijuana consumption, it seems that the country’s stoners are blazing on.

olice have denied accusations they are ignoring low-level cannabis use, but official figures suggest otherwise.

Statistics released by Police show that there was a 22.7 per cent drop in illicit drug offences in 2013. Police said most of this reduction was in cannabis cultivation and possession.

Associate Minister of Health Peter Dunne has attributed the decrease to a generally blasé view adopted by the Police regarding violations of cannabis laws.

“Most of the Police people I talk to say essentially that they take a ILLICIT DRUG OFFENCES INCLUDE: pretty light view of cannabis… I - importing and exporting illicit drugs; am saying that’s the reality.”

A Police spokesperson - dealing and trafficking illicit drugs; confirmed that their focus was - manufacturing and cultivating illicit drugs; now on organised-crime groups - possessing and using illicit drugs. that dominate New Zealand’s drug trade. Despite this, any

“OBJECTION: YOUR HONOURS” VC STARTS DISCUSSION ON CUTTING HONOURS

by Simon Dennis

T

he University may cease to offer Honours in an attempt to “open up the benefits of a fourth year of study” to more students.

The future of Honours was discussed at an Academic Board meeting on 17 April. The University is considering discontinuing Honours and introducing a one-year Master’s programme.

The shorter Master’s would be a 180-point degree, rather than the usual 240 points required.

Different faculties would implement different types of qualifications to replace the current Honours programme. Any Master’s degree completed without a thesis will be suffixed with ‘Taught’, while a degree with a thesis will instead say ‘Research’.

Professor Penny Boumelha, Deputy Vice-Chancellor (Academic), said that Honours is not internationally recognised, as the year-long add-on form it takes at Victoria is only found in New Zealand, Australia and South Africa.

“End-on Honours carries little value internationally and does not always provide those of our graduates who wish to work or study overseas with an internationally portable qualification of a clearly postgraduate kind.”

She also said that Honours “ is not greatly valued by employers,

10

the drugs issue

because it is not well-focussed on… professional attributes and practical experience.”

Dean of Education, Associate Professor David Crabbe, last year said that one-year Master’s degrees have been common for “quite some time” in other universities.

VUWSA’s Academic Vice-President, Rāwinia Thompson, said there was “no straightforward answer” as to whether the University should continue to offer Honours.

“We are concerned with the implications a move away from Honours to the 180-point Master’s will have on students financially, considering Honours students are eligible for the postgrad allowance, and Master’s students are not.”

“Some students are worried that the 180-point Master’s, which can be completed in one full academic year, will not prepare them sufficiently for PhD study. Graduates who have gone on to work in the public sector have told us a Bachelor’s degree is not enough, and that many entry-level jobs now require Honours.”

However, she added that: “Honours degrees are not well understood internationally. Students who want to pursue academia overseas struggle to have their degrees recognised by some foreign institutions. Numbers are low in Honours courses. 20 per cent of the courses offered at Victoria are Honours courses, while Honours students only make up three per cent of the total students at Vic.” Any decision made will involve student discussion and consultation over forthcoming months.

NEWS

PETER DONE DID IT SALIENT’S GUIDE TO SYNTHETIC-DRUGS LAW IN NEW ZEALAND

by Duncamie McBoot

WHAT DOES THE PSYCHOACTIVE SUBSTANCES ACT DO? The Psychoactive Substances Act regulates legal highs. It came into force last July.

- It placed an R18 restriction on the sale of legal highs; - It limited the sale of legal highs to R18 stores; - And all synthetic drugs that were not already on the shelves would be presumed illegal. They could become legal if they passed a clinical trial process much like that for pharmaceutical drugs which proved that they were “low risk”.

- The Act took around 150 products off the shelves, leaving 41 available for sale.

- It devolved power to local councils to develop their own Local Area Policy Plans. That would allow local councils to determine where legal highs could be sold in the area. So for example, the Hastings District Council zoned out all legal highs from Hastings.

WHAT HAS CHANGED? - On 27 April, Peter Dunne announced that the Government would introduce legislation to remove synthetic drugs from sale within three weeks.

- The Bill to remove legal highs from shops was set to pass under urgency within ten days – on Wednesday 8 May. - Manufacturers will now have to prove their products are safe before they can be sold.

- This approval process could take 18–24 months and cost a manufacturer up to $2 million.

- During that time, there will be no synthetics on the market.

- The question now is whether to allow testing on animals. Labour oppose animal testing – even though every Labour MP voted in favour of the Act, which allowed for animal testing.

WHAT ARE THE EFFECTS? - Within hours of the announcement, there were reports of shops selling the drugs being burgled.

- Peter Dunne has said he delayed announcing the removal as long as possible so as to avoid stockpiling.

- The threat of a black market is very real. The New Zealand Drug Foundation has said it is very easy for people to buy the drugs online, as they can be sent in quantities so small that Customs may find them hard to detect.

- The Drug Foundation has also said that withdrawing the drugs without any support for users could lead to harmful outcomes for those addicted to the drugs.

- Ireland banned ‘legal highs’ in May 2010 and this, in the words of Peter Dunne, has “driven the whole industry underground and nothing has changed. And while we have got it off the public agenda, the problem is just as real as ever.”

- On 1 May, six synthetic cannabis products were removed from shelves after users reported adverse effects, and eight manufacturers had their licences suspended.

- NZ First have called for Peter Dunne’s resignation.

- Supreme Overlord John Campbell has been successful once again in influencing public opinion and policy.

editor@salient.org.nz

11

NEWS FEATURE

INTERVIEW WITH A

D

uring the break, Salient Editors Duncan and Cam had a chat with Peter Dunne, the Associate Minister of Health. More importantly, he’s the man in charge of drug policy in New Zealand. He was surprisingly honest and upfront – he said he didn’t care whether we smoked dope, and didn’t really want to lock people up for it. Implicit in our conversation was the fact that for most of us, cannabis is basically already legal in New Zealand, but politics gets in the way of making that a formal reality.

Read the full interview online at www.salient.org.nz.

DUNCAN AND CAM: DO YOU THINK THAT IN OUR LIFETIME CANNABIS WILL BE EITHER DECRIMINALISED OR LEGALISED IN NEW ZEALAND? Peter Dunne: I really can’t answer that. I don’t know. The reason I don’t know is because, while it is a natural product, the manipulation of the genes of that are changing. It’s a far more toxic substance than it was when I was a student, for instance, and so I just don’t know where that will head.

FROM A HARM-MINIMISATION PERSPECTIVE, WOULDN’T IT BE BETTER TO REGULATE SUCH A PRODUCT? Well, you could argue that. I think that the issue there comes down to what are you actually trying to achieve. In this area, it’s a bit like putting lids back on bottles once the genie escaped. To some extent, the genie has escaped for legal highs and so we are trying to regulate the situation, and certainly with alcohol the genie escaped 100 years ago. So I suppose the issue really becomes do you really want to let another genie out of the bottle?

DO YOU NOT THINK IT IS ALREADY OUT OF THE BOTTLE? I think that’s debatable, frankly.

80 PER CENT OF NZ DO IT. Well, not regular users. I mean, I have used cannabis. Well, I tried it as a student. I wasn’t a regular user. I didn’t find it did anything for me.

DRUG LORD 12

the drugs issue

DO YOU THINK THAT IF YOU HAD BEEN CAUGHT AND RECEIVED A CRIMINAL CONVICTION THAT THAT WOULD HAVE STOPPED YOUR POLITICAL CAREER? AND IF SO, DO YOU THINK THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN FAIR? At the time it might have delayed it. Would it have been fair? In the context of the time, you did these things with your eyes open. So you accept the consequences. But frankly, I just didn’t find it all that exciting.

BUT YOU CAN SEE HOW FROM OUR PERSPECTIVE THAT IT IS KIND OF WEIRD THAT WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO NOW HAVE GOT DRUG CHARGES OR WHATEVER FOR SMOKING MARIJUANA BUT THEN YOU HAVE THE MAJORITY OF POLITICIANS WHO HAVE SAID THAT THEY SMOKED WEED, BUT THEN SUPPORT A LAW THAT WOULD PUT THEM IN PRISON, IF IT WAS APPLIED FAIRLY. Well you could argue that. You could argue that most of the police people I talk to say essentially that they take a pretty light view of cannabis.

NEWS FEATURE

YOU ARE FOUR TIMES MORE LIKELY TO BE PROSECUTED IF YOU ARE FOUND WITH MARIJUANA IF YOU ARE MĀORI IN NEW ZEALAND. DO YOU THINK POLICE DISCRETION IS BEING USED FAIRLY? I think you just have to come back one. If you look at alcohol, actually: in the days of restrictive licensing laws, the sort of practices that went on, and everyone knew about it. You know I can remember being in a pub, in the days of ten-o’clock closing, at three o’clock one morning and turning to the guy next to me in this crowded bar and saying: “God, the cops would have a field day.” And the guy said: “I am the local cop. I am here to draw the raffle.” So there is a degree where the law sort of says, here’s the line, but within a reasonable measure of tolerance.

I GUESS WHEN YOU HAVE A LAW THAT IT IS VERY UNCLEAR FOR THE POPULATION TO TELL WHETHER YOU ARE GOING TO BE CAUGHT. IF I WAS AT ANOTHER PUB DOWN THE ROAD WHICH THE POLICE DIDN’T LIKE BECAUSE IT DIDN’T RUN A RAFFLE, THEY COULD HAVE GONE IN THERE AND GOT EVERYONE OUT. That’s true. That’s been part of our history since the year dot. I am not saying that that’s the way it is so you keep doing it. I am saying that that’s the reality.

SO I GUESS THAT IS A PARTICULAR PROBLEM PARTICULARLY WITH THAT MĀORI STATISTIC? It could be, but then it depends how it is applied. I mean, I have been in predominantly Māori towns where basically the law is purely localised and there isn’t an issue.

DO YOU THINK IT IS POSSIBLE THAT NZ WILL EVER ERADICATE CANNABIS? I don’t think that anyone will eradicate cannabis. In the same way that you won’t eradicate tobacco, or alcohol, or any of the other issues. So the issue then comes down to a management strategy. And I think that our law at the moment that is about harm minimisation, supply control, and sort of reasonable checks and balances, is seen as pretty pragmatic.

IT SEEMS WHY ONE OF THE REASONS WHY YOU MADE A MOVE TOWARDS THE PSYCHOACTIVE SUBSTANCES BILL AND CHANGING THE WAY WE TREAT SYNTHETIC DRUGS IS THAT THEY ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE THERE, AND IT SEEMS LIKE THAT WOULD ALSO MAKE SENSE WHEN ARGUING THAT MARIJUANA OR CANNABIS CROPS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE THERE. Yeah, I may not disagree with that. As I have said, my own view is let’s do these things one step at a time. There could be a case down the track. I just don’t want to complicate the issue by raising it all at once, because I know what the outcome will be. But I think that it’s very simplistic to say if you just legalise one then the other one goes away.

I just don’t accept that argument.

DO YOU AGREE YES OR NO THAT DRUG ADDICTION, PARTICULARLY WITH CANNABIS, IS A HEALTH ISSUE AND NOT A CRIMINAL ISSUE? I think in the main it is. There may well be criminal sanctions that apply in some cases, as we do in the alcohol area for drink driving or illegal supply of licences. I think the same arguably applies in the

cannabis case. But, fundamentally, you don’t curb addiction through the criminal path.

WELL THEN, IT SEEMS THAT IF IT IS A HEALTH ISSUE, AND OBVIOUSLY THERE ARE HARMS FROM BEING AN ADDICT, THERE SEEMS TO BE EXTRA HARMS FROM CALLING YOU A CRIMINAL. [United Future] have been supporting efforts to get more drug and alcohol services in prisons so that more prisoners can be assessed and treated as appropriate when they are there.

BUT I GUESS OUR POINT IS: IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING IT A HEALTH ISSUE, WHY ARE YOU STILL PUTTING THEM IN PRISON? Well, they may be in prison for a variety... ...BUT IF YOU DO GO TO PRISON FOR A DRUG-RELATED OFFENCE, YOU ARE STILL GOING TO PRISON AND NOT TO REHAB. That depends what the offence is. If the offence is... ...POSSESSION. Well, no, I am thinking more if you are a pusher.

AND THEN IT’S PROBABLY FAIR TO SAY YOU ARE SPREADING HARM TO OTHERS, BUT IN TERMS OF INDIVIDUAL RECREATIONAL USE? Yeah, okay, I am not wildly keen on that, frankly. But all I am saying is that the international balance is shifting quite markedly. We will have the opportunity through the Misuse of Drugs Act to bring what is a 40-year-old law with a pretty rigid classification system that applies to a lot of drugs that in some cases aren’t even around anymore, bring that up to date. That work is far from complete, and I can’t really say with any certainty where it will end up because we are still working our way through.

DO YOU THINK THAT WE [DUNCAN AND CAM] ARE REGULAR USERS OF CANNABIS? WOULD YOU BE SURPRISED? My personal view is that I have no idea. And do I care? No. I don’t know and I really don’t want to know.

YEAH, I GUESS THAT IT’S GREAT THAT ALTHOUGH WE OBVIOUSLY STILL HAVE THIS LAW, WE CAN BE IN A ROOM WHERE WE ARE SITTING SPEAKING TO THE MINISTER WHO IS IN CHARGE OF DRUGS AND SAY, “WE HAVE DONE DRUGS,” AND THAT SORT OF THING. THE LAW IS PROBABLY BEHIND THE SOCIETAL REALITY. The law per se can never get on top of this. It can create an environment.

It can create some sort of broader social messages about what’s good and what’s not good, but at the end of the day it comes down to individuals, and I think that the one bit that gets lost in this debate is an old-fashioned term of ‘responsibility’. People are very good at saying: “These poor kids on their synthetic substances or on alcohol; this shouldn’t be happening.” Well, no, that’s probably true, but where does individual responsibility for your actions fit into all of this? It’s the sort of thing that people claim when they want to do something when something is happening that they don’t like, they forget about responsibility. At the end of the day, that will be what determines behaviours rather than the legal framework.

editor@salient.org.nz

13

NEWS

EYE ON EXEC

CAMPUS DIGEST

BY SOFIA ROBERTS

The Victoria Debating Society’s domination of the NZ Debating circuit was extended over Easter Weekend after winning the universities’ impromptu-debating competition for the 16th year in a row. Impromptu debating involves two teams of two speakers, five minutes’ preparation, and six-minute speeches.

Other universities didn’t stand a chance as Vic 1 and Vic 2 clawed their way through eight rounds and a semi to face each other in the final. Victoria 1 (made up of Law students Jodie O’Neill and Nick Gavey) faced Victoria 2 (made up of all-round great guys Nick Cross and Cameron Price) on the question of whether or not the state should remove women and children from cults. Victoria 1 came away with the close but clear victory, and debating was the winner on the day. #sweet16

The University is working closely with Chinese astronomers on the world’s biggest telescope, and Vic students could head off to summer school in China. The partnership with Chinese National Astronomical Observatories means that researchers from Victoria will be a part of the design phase of the SKA telescope, a multibillion-dollar project which will allow scientists to shed new light on the origins and history of the Universe. Once the SKA design phase is completed, construction is expected to take between four and five years.

A Victoria Maths and Computer Science student

has escaped a jail sentence for ordering illegal psychedelic drugs from the now-defunct online marketplace Silk Road. Andrew Harrison ordered 210 tabs of ‘NBOMe’, a psychoactive substance, and five tabs of MDMA, online. Harrison got four months’ community detention, 150 hours’ community work and six months’ supervision. Rough.

The Victoria Engineering Club (VEC)

organised an e-sport tournament over the break which saw competitors playing League of Legends from 21 April until 2 May. The final, on 2 May, was screened on campus for students to watch; sadly, Salient went to print on the night of 1 May so cannot bring you the results.

The winning team will go on to compete against other Oceanian teams at the Oceanic Gaming Winter Arena in May.

14

the drugs issue

V

UWSA’s most recent Exec meeting took place on the Tuesday before break (15 March), and the general feeling of apathy across campus was clearly present in the meeting, with President Sonya Clark especially keen to be finished on time.

In her President’s report, Clark stressed the general desire of the student body for a new VUWSA van. The last van was sold in 2010, after 2007’s Executive misappropriated over $20,000 of student funds to upgrade the van with tinted windows, mags and a new sound system.

Next up was Rāwinia Thompson, VUWSA’s Academic VicePresident, who discussed the Student Academic Committee. She further said that the Student Conduct Statute, which was to go to Academic Board on Thursday, had “addressed all of our concerns”, including those on students’ freedom to protest.

Rick Zwaan, Welfare Vice-President, delivered the most exciting news of any VUWSA meeting ever by indicating puppies, normally confined to Law School, may be present on Kelburn Campus during Stress Free Study Week. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, Engagement Vice-President Declan Doherty-Ramsay said VUWSA had seen a positive response to University Challenge, with over 30 signups for trials. The newest member of the Executive, Toby Cooper, then proposed a new initiative of clubs showcases every two weeks. Discussion then turned to “embarrassing” confusion surrounding VUWSA membership cards.

Finally, quite a long time was spent discussing VUWSA’s presence at Victoria’s Wellington information evening. Exec members were visibly gleeful at the prospect of entrancing innocent high-schoolers into the wild world of student politics. Salient was just as gleeful about the potential for puppies. A happy ending all around.

NEWS

NEWS OF THE WORLD

BY ELISE MUNDEN

iPredict is a market-based political and economic prediction market owned and operated by Victoria University of Wellington. Visit www.ipredict.co.nz to get involved. Probabilities are correct at time of publication.

HEAVENLY HOTC AKES

A miracle strucketh the pancakes of a Californian café on Easter Friday this April. Employees at the Cowgirl Cafe alerted their manager, Karen Hendrickson, to an image of Jesus Christ which appeared in a cooked order of the delicious breakfast food that morning. Hendrickson was “excited and emotional” to see Christ appear in the form of an edible brown smudge right before her very eyes. She has since frozen the pancake in an attempt to permanently preserve it. Hendrickson told USA Today that “I thought at first it was a sign for me, that He’s going to continue looking after us.” Other observers of the pancake have claimed that it also looks like Charles Manson.

Images of Christ have allegedly also appeared in Kit Kat bars, melted cheese on a pizza, naan bread, and in burnt oil stuck to the bottom of a frying pan. Mmmmm. Jesus-flavoured.

YOU KNOW I CAN’T FEEL YOUR GHOST SEX, BRO

Natasha Blasick, the leading actress of Paranoid Activity 2, claims to have had two sexual encounters with a ghost. Both experiences were in her own home, but the actress did not feel threatened or frightened by the spectral presence. She states: “the first time I was really confused… but then I just decided to relax and it was really, really pleasurable.” Her husband is not concerned by her affair with the paranormal perpetrator.

Psychic Patti Negri also weighed in on the discussion, saying that spectrophilia (sex with ghosts) is a worldwide phenomenon, and that it cannot be considered as a criminal act despite its non-consensual nature. Psychologists have responded that this type of experience is more likely an effect of sleep paralysis, but Salient will let YOU decide.

THE NAKED AND FAMOUS

The United Kingdom is to host its first National Streaking Competition on 31 May. The prestigious event will involve proving one’s talents in singing and dancing in front of judges and an audience at Ricoh Arena in Coventry; where Lady Godiva made her infamous nude horseback ride in 1057. The prize is a trip for two to Brazil during the 2014 Football World Cup. Competitors must be over 18 years old, but minors are allowed to watch the contest if they are accompanied by an adult. Indeed, it will be a family affair, as no actual nudity will be allowed. Organiser Angela Perkins hopes that the event will take place on a “warm, sunny day.” The various penises and nipples involved will also be hoping for this.

10% A BILL IMPOSING PLAIN PACKAGING ON CIGARETTES WILL BE GIVEN ROYAL ASSENT BY 1 JANUARY 2015.

16.8% PARENTAL LEAVE AND EMPLOYMENT PROTECTION (SIX MONTHS PAID LEAVE) AMENDMENT BILL TO RECEIVE ROYAL ASSENT BEFORE 2015.

76.9% EDUCATION AMENDMENT BILL (NO 2) TO RECEIVE ROYAL ASSENT BEFORE 2015.

32.5% STEVEN JOYCE TO BE NEXT NATIONAL PARTY LEADER.

63% GRANT ROBERTSON TO BE NEXT LABOUR PARTY LEADER.

editor@salient.org.nz

15

NEWS FEATURE

BLAZED & CONFUSED

We asked 121 MPs. Of the 22 who responded, 14 answered ‘Yes’, 7 ‘No’, and 1 didn’t really answer at all. 99 never got back to us.

QUESTIONS 1. Have you ever smoked marijuana?

2. What changes do you support to drug law in NZ? (Explain your answer in three sentences or fewer.)

STEVEN JOYCE (NATIONAL): “No.”

DAVID CUNLIFFE (LABOUR): “I tried it a couple of times as a student.”

JOHN KEY (NATIONAL): Didn’t respond to us, but was probably never cool enough to be invited to parties where drugs were present anyway.

PAULA BENNETT (NATIONAL): “Oooh! Hey, I’m a girl from Taupo. So that’s a yes? Well, it’s certainly not a no.”

KEVIN HAGUE (GREEN): “Green Party MPs are like most New Zealanders in that most of us have smoked marijuana. I have.”

TE URUROA FLAVELL (MĀORI): “I am not and have never been a smoker of anything, so you will understand that when I tried a joint I threw up!”

BRENDAN HORAN (INDEPENDENT): “So, I’m for pretty strict drug laws, which may not go down so well with your readers. I have a close relative who died of an accidental OD and another one that stepped in front of a train.”

PAUL FOSTER-BELL (NATIONAL): “No. Marijuana is a harmful drug with intellectually impairing effects, so why would I want to use it?”

Rumour has it that Paul has the best-stocked liquor cabinet in all of Parliament.

PARTIES’ STANCES ON DRUGS

recreational drugs of some sort. We think that all of these drugs should be treated consistently by the law, with the amount of regulation being proportional to the harm that substance causes.

That is essentially the position that the Law Commission also came to when it reviewed New Zealand’s drug laws. It balances society’s responsibility to protect citizens with those citizens’ right to make choices about their own behaviour that carry some risk.

While it is widely recognised that cannabis use does carry some health risks, most experts would also agree that those health risks are significantly lower than those posed by alcohol. Furthermore, the current approach to cannabis is a complete failure: with around half the New Zealand population having used cannabis, the law is clearly failing to achieve its objective, while simultaneously acting as a

barrier to accessing health services, tying up a large amount of Police, Justice and Corrections resource, and arguably causing more harm than the drug use itself.

NATIONAL PARTY ANSWER The National-led Government has no plans to change the current law around marijuana use, or any other drugs controlled under the Misuse of Drugs Act. In other words: National has no plans to change a 40-year-old law which is in dire need of updating.

GREEN PARTY ANSWER New Zealand’s drug law should be focussed on reducing harm, and be based on evidence. A drug-free lifestyle is the best way to reduce harm and should be promoted, but we recognise that the vast majority of New Zealanders use 16

the drugs issue

LABOUR PARTY ANSWER Labour broadly supports the recommendations of the Law Commission report Controlling and Regulating Drugs: A Review of the Misuse of Drugs Act 1975. Labour in government will publish a full response to the report, something National has failed to do, and we will replace the Misuse of Drugs Act with modern legislation based on the Law Commission recommendations.

Labour treats the legalisation or decriminalisation of marijuana as a conscience vote. I do not feel that Parliament has the will to change the law at the present time.

POLITICS

GOODBYE MAURICE, WE’LL MISS YOU

RAMBLINGS OF A FALLEN HACK BIGOTRY SURVIVES

I

t’s difficult to comprehend the hatred of the past. We live in a country where religious oppression has been consigned to NCEA History examinations and Amnesty International mailing lists. That your most personal beliefs could be subject to the purview of the masses is beyond abhorrent – it’s ridiculous. If our government attempted to tell us whether we should believe in a higher power or practice certain rituals, we would laugh before we would cry. Our right to control our own minds is entrenched so deeply within our political psyche that understanding the horror of majoritarian persecution is impossible.

Unless, of course, you take drugs.

To stigmatise the drugged is to stigmatise those exploring their spirituality as they see fit. Yes, we can mock the stumbling profundities of pot-heads or the existential traipsing of trippers. But we cannot forget that, for many, drugs provide insight that sobriety does not. Sometimes it takes a distorted lens to magnify what matters.

And whether it’s an early-morning toke or dropping a Sunday-arvo tab, drugs provide the rituals that our secular world has forgotten. It’s pretty easy to shout about addiction. It’s less easy to recognise the value of the moments by which we pace our lives, the worth of the breaks amid the chaos.

Drug criminalisation is as much religious discrimination as the 16th-century criminalisation of Catholicism, as much as the persecution of Muslims in Myanmar or Buddhists in Tibet.

“One of the emails I got was that this bill was the cause of our drought. Well this morning it was pouring with rain, and we had this enormous big gay rainbow across my electorate “ — Maurice Williamson, during his Third Reading Marriage Equality speech in 2013, who resigned as a Minister last week following allegations of misconduct.

And yet we are silent. Sure, our public health professionals understand that our drug laws are broken. Studiously they compose Select Committee submissions on the need for “harm-minimisation” and the merits of a decriminalised regime. But they will be ignored until they realise that our laws are based not on compassion but on bigotry. We don’t ban drugs to minimise their use. We ban to send a message: drug use is a social deviance beyond toleration.

There’s an arrogance in having our lifestyle enshrined as the lifestyle that is worthy, in being told our conception of the good life is the one that is correct. To legalise drugs is to sanction the idea that there is more than one way to flourish. That is never an idea that the bigots will accept.

As long as moralising is an acceptable basis of law, we will not change a thing.

The drugs we consume should be a choice we own as deeply as the god to whom we pray and the temple at which we crouch.

Just as we forbid religious persecution on the basis of health outcomes (no, we don’t force pig-valve transplants on Muslims or blood transfusions on Jehovah’s Witnesses), the health outcomes of drugs are irrelevant.

Rights are not contingent on medicalbureaucracy guidelines.

When we fight to change our drug laws, let’s not fight over the efficacy of paternalist regimes. In this secular world, drugs are the religion of the masses. It’s time to fight for the notion that religious freedom matters.

TOP 5 THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T DO AS A MINISTER

by Jade D’Hack

By Jordan McCluskey

1. Sample dairy products in China.

2. Order takeaways under your own name.

3. Promote your business interests.

4. Tweet unless you are actually witty.

5. Go on Campbell Live. You’ll get schooled.

PARLIAMENT THIS WEEK 1. The Veterans’ Support Bill – This bill proposes a new support scheme for veterans of military service.

2. The Vulnerable Children’s Bill – The purpose of the proposed amendments is to protect and improve the wellbeing of vulnerable children.

3. Victims’ Orders Against Violent Offenders Bill – This bill would establish a mechanism for a victim of a violent offence to obtain a noncontact order against an offender sentenced to imprisonment for five years or more.

Wednesday is a Members’ day, and the House will sit on Thursday morning to progress Treaty of Waitangi settlement bills.package for victims of crime.

editor@salient.org.nz

17

SPORT

Top 5 Domestic-Cricket Battlers: . Brent Arnel – I know the guy’s played for the Black Caps, but his unorthodox bowling action delivering balls in the mid-120 range are no real threat.

5 Sports banter

BY OL L I E R I T C H I E

WA S B E N J I A LWAY S D O O M E D T O FA I L ?

L

et me start with this: Benji Marshall is a freakishly good athlete. Anyone who disputes that is clearly an idiot.

Now here’s the but… Perhaps choosing to switch codes to rugby union was not his finest hour. Although this somewhat familiar transition between the two codes has been done before, and done successfully, it was always going to be a different story for Benji.

While he was the playmaker at the Wests Tigers, owning the number-6 jersey, it was always unclear what his position would be at the Blues – first five or fullback. Being a playmaker in league is very different to being a playmaker in union, and that’s where I believe he ran into a bit of trouble.

As a first five in union, you always have to be thinking one play ahead, and thinking about how your team is going to be directed around the paddock. You are the brains of the backline. (Funnily enough, I still haven’t been given the nod to fill that role.)

This is something that is very different to rugby league, as while you are still in many ways the brains of your backline, you aren’t under as much pressure. In some ways, it can be more of a catch-and-pass game, at least until the final tackle.

So throwing Benji straight into the number-10 jersey of a Super Rugby team was always going to be a massive task for him. If it was going to work, he needed to have played at club or ITM Cup level before

18

the drugs issue

he made the step up to Super Rugby.

And when this kind of code switch has worked, the players haven’t been in the major playmaking roles.

Take Sonny Bill Williams, for example.

Love him or hate him, the guy could play.

But he was only at his best after four years in the game, and his role was very similar to his role in league. Not so much of an adjustment period needed – and he started at club level, then ITM Cup, then Super Rugby.

Israel Folau, also a superstar. But he went from being a league winger to a union fullback. Again, not a lot to adjust to. And what about big Brad Thorn? In the engine room of both codes, so could therefore do it successfully for both.

I truly believe that if Benji had been prepared right, and hadn’t spent his time just warming the bench for the Blues, then he could’ve been a real superstar.

That could have been starting at club level and working his way up with enough game time. Or coming south to the Crusaders to play under a different organisation – we’ve been known to produce some pretty outstanding players (Dan, Mehrtens, Justin, Richie, Reado, Sonny Bill, Crotty – I do have a word limit here).

At the end of the day, it’s a real shame this experiment hasn’t worked out, because it could’ve been something truly awesome.

But all the best for the return to the NRL. Please don’t let it be at the Dragons/Eels/ Bulldogs.

. Mark Craig – Admittedly, he has just made the Black Caps squad, but I hardly expect it’s based on his domestic figures. His loopy off-spinners are a treat for big-hitting batters. Or those who are shy of runs.

4

. Jono Hickey – Top-order batsman who seldom gave bowlers any headaches. Currently working as a retail assistant, where I expect he shall remain for a while.

3

. Bradley Scott – The left-arm fastmedium pace bowler from Northern Districts rarely threatened to be much more than a domestic battler. His 6–48 on debut is basically his only highlight.

He managed to get into the New Zealand A side, and somehow also the Black Caps World T20 squad in 2007.

2

. Peter Ingram – Peter “No Foot Movement” Ingram brought a whole new meaning to the term ‘stand and deliver’. Often dubbed the easy wicket, Ingram was able to amass 61 runs in two tests before being dropped, an average of 15.25, which cements his place as one of New Zealand’s battlers over the years.

1

SEX

it’s hitting the right nerve endings, but it’s too intense to be enjoyable, and too dry to be comfortable. Unless it’s dripping in lube, you’re going to want to keep the foreskin as a barrier between your hand and the penis the whole time. Sometimes they can be slippery little beggars, so it helps to create a ring of pressure between your thumb and forefinger about a centimetre below the end of the foreskin. Maintain a firm hold throughout to ensure the head is constantly protected, but jazz-up your handiwork by experimenting with shifting the pressure of your grip to different spots. Adjust according to volume of moans and frequency of “Ooh baby”.

The Bone Zone W I T H C U P I E H O ODW I N K C u pie

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AGGH GUYS’ PARTS CONFUSE ME.

W

ell look at that, winter is upon us, and just in time for the colder months you’ve discovered a peen all wrapped up in its wee turtleneck! While coming across something you’re not used to in the bedroom can throw your game off, uncircumcised dicks are nothing to worry about. In fact, circumcision is much less common here than it is overseas (especially in the US), and the hatless snake is a relatively rare breed to find lurking in New Zealand trousers.

Circumcision, for the uninitiated, is a procedure in which the foreskin (the fleshy sleeve that surrounds the penis) is removed – usually for religious or health reasons. As a result, the head of the penis is always out and about, which over time makes it less sensitive than one that spends the majority of the time chilling in its hoodie. Uncircumcised cocks, then, are the more sensitive souls of the penis family, and this means there are some differences as to what feels good…

H a n d j o b s : Going hot and heavy on the head, and only the head, during a hand job is like someone heading for the rawest part of your clit straight off the bat. Sure,

B low j o b s : If keeping the foreskin in place seems a pesky consideration during a hand job, that all changes when you’re giving head. Here, you don’t need to worry nearly as much about not touching the head, because your mouth acts as a warm, wet foreskin-extension. While you still shouldn’t spend the entire time sucking dick with the foreskin pulled right back, you can add a spicy side to your main course of up-anddown by giving the head some tender loving licks (which also has the added benefit of giving your jaw a break). During BJs, let your lips create the seal that your thumb and forefinger made at the HJ stage, so that your mouth and foreskin unite as one neverending orgasmic tube sock.

S e x : Given that your vagina is markedly less dexterous than your hands and mouth, there’s little you can do during sex to ensure that the foreskin’s sitting in a comfortable place. So long as you’re sufficiently wet/ using enough lube, it probably won’t matter whether the head’s out or not, although this varies from wang to wang. It is possible to put a condom on in a way that keeps the foreskin in place, but it’s probably easier to let your man figure that out according to his personal preference. If you’re not using condoms, you can look forward to feeling the foreskin slip forward and retract inside you, which feels way better than a ribbed condom, and will have you thinking “For(e)skin? You bet I am!” in no time at all.

Go fore-th and prosper, Cupie xx

improve your mood, and get a good night’s sleep. It’s cheaper than a massage, faster than taking a hot bath, and unlike smoking a fat one, you can’t get arrested for it (provided you indulge in the privacy of your own home). Too busy to reach the pleasure plane yourself? Let a toy do the hard work for you – you can pick up a vibrator or sleeve for less than $20. It’s simple, really: treat yourself to an easy O for an easy A. I N R E V I E W : Lu v T ou c h M i n i M i t e V i b r at o r , $ 3 0

T

his wee vibrator holds a special place in my heart as it was the first one I ever purchased, and goddamn, had I known $30 would feel this good, I would have paid it a long, long time ago. A clit vibrator, it does what it sets out to do pretty quickly, has incredible battery efficiency, and comes in a variety of different colours.

That being said, you really get what you pay for with this one. It looks cheap, the waterproof seal seems deeply untrustworthy, it’s very noisy, and is prone to randomly turning itself on. Finally, although it came with four differently textured removable caps, the only discernible difference between these “soothing head attachments” is that three of them actually kind of hurt, but the other one feels pretty fucking awesome. All in all, an excellent first vibrator, but you’ll want to upgrade pretty quickly.

S E X UA L C O N TA C T S : G ot a burning question for C upie ? A sk her about all mat ters of the heart … and other romanti c organs , anonymously at ask . fm /C upie H oodwink .

G ot

a burning sensation in your

nether

regions ?

H ealth

a

call

G ive S tudent 463 5308,

on

or pop in to their clinics at

K elburn

and

P ipitea .

Tip Of The Week:

A

hh, Week 8: that delightful time of the year when everything’s due at once, every second night’s an all-nighter, and your diet consists of Red Bull, two-minute noodles and regret. Fortunately for you, staying stress-free during this hellish time is just a wank away! That’s right, whether you’re flicking the bean or buffing the banana, masturbation is a great way to relieve stress,

editor@salient.org.nz

19

FEATURE

HIPPOCRITICAL

BY PHILIP MCSWEENEY I M E T J A C K ( P S E U D O N Y M ) , 5 9 , H A B I T U A L M A R I J U A N A U S E R , AT H I S H O M E . U S U A L LY W H E N W E P I C T U R E T H E A B O D E S O F T O K E R S W E T H I N K O F D E R E L I C T S TAT E H O U S E S , R A M S H A C K L E B U N G A L O W S . J A C K ’ S A B O D E W A S A N T I T H E T I C A L T O T H I S P E R C E P T I O N : L AV I S H , M U L T I - S T O R I E D , A D O R N E D W I T H A R T . H E S P E N D S M O S T O F H I S T I M E E I T H E R A S L E E P , T R Y I N G T O S L E E P , O R I N B E D . T H E L O N G E S T J O U R N E Y H E F E E L S C A P A B L E O F M A K I N G T O D AY I S T O T H E L A - Z - B O Y I N A N A D J O I N I N G L I V I N G R O O M , T H O U G H T H E S U R R O U N D I N G J A M - P A C K E D B O O K S H E L V E S A N D P R O M I N E N T L Y D I S P L AY E D C Y C L E M A C H I N E I N T I M AT E T H AT , O N C E , A V E R Y D I F F E R E N T K I N D O F M A N L I V E D H E R E .

JACK IS TERMINAL.

E

ntertainer extraordinaire Whoopi Goldberg recently made headlines when she ‘fessed to smoking weed in an article for The Cannibist.

She makes no secret of the fact that she has, in the past, indulged in it recreationally, but these days the motive is entirely different. She partakes in the green through her vape pen not for a high but because it “help[s] me live comfortably with glaucoma”. Her plight is far from unique; hundreds of thousands of people are using medical marijuana to aid a vast range of conditions, from nausea (a common side effect of chemotherapy) to Dravet syndrome (for which cannabis is a ‘miraculous’ help) to Crohn’s disease. It’s been proven again and again that cannabis, or some of its constituent cannabinoids, 20

the drugs issue

helps ameliorate symptoms for suffering people.

Yet the use of medical marijuana has still not been comprehensively endorsed in legislation in New Zealand. Arguably the two most vigorously waged battles in recent history have been ‘The War on Drugs’ and ‘The War on Cancer’ – what happens when the two intersect?

When newly minted doctors pass their exams and enter the field, they must first recite and swear to obey what’s known as the ‘Hippocratic Oath’, which goes a little something like this: ‘Do No Harm’. Those three syllables provide the foundation of modern medicine, and perhaps the most important stricture that medical institutions must obey – at least theoretically. In truth, for a medical practitioner to do NO harm

is nigh-on impossible. There has not been a drug prescribed that hasn’t had at least a possibility of a side effect, and in the case of strong medications, adverse effects are almost guaranteed. People tend to forget the gravity involved in taking medication – it does fundamentally alter one’s make-up, and repercussions are unavoidable.

That in mind, a drug must pass two rigorous criteria in order to become eligible for public consumption. The first is based on the drug’s proven efficacy in clinical trials; the second is how harmful the drug is versus whether or not the drug works.

This second criterion is applied on a caseby-case basis and requires much more analytical thinking, and for ailments like cancer and glaucoma the ‘harm’ threshold is significantly lower – most legal treatments

FEATURE

“ALLEGEDLY, MEDICAL MARIJUANA CAN CAUSE COGNITIVE I S S U E S L AT E R DOWN THE LINE (IRRELEVANT, TRAGICALLY, IN THE CASE OF TERMINAL P AT I E N T S L I K E JACK), DEPENDENCY ( U N L I K E , S AY , LORAZEPAM OR VALIUM (I’M BEING SARCASTIC. THEY’RE BOTH ADDICTIVE AS FUCK, CHUMS)) AND, MOST LAUGHABLY OF ALL, ‘DIZZINESS’ ( F O R P AT I E N T S H AV I N G T H E I R B O D I E S R AV A G E D B Y C H E M O , I S U S P E C T T H AT FEELING A LITTLE WOOZY PROBABLY W O N ’ T B E T H E S T R AW T H AT B R E A K S T H E CAMEL’S BACK, ESPECIALLY IF THEIR PAIN IS EASED AND THEIR APPETITE IS RESTORED).”

that tackle the disease are toxic at best and outright savage at worst. That’s a harsh but inexorable truth.

Chemotherapy and the like are sanctioned by the Government in spite of their (literal) ill-effects, for logically sound reasons.

However, according to the FDA over in America and the similar body implemented in New Zealand to regulate medicinal drugs, the deleterious effects of legalising medical marijuana outweigh the benefits. The reasons given? Mostly mumbled sheepishly during press conferences rather than with any real conviction.

Allegedly, medical marijuana can cause cognitive issues later down the line (irrelevant, tragically, in the case of terminal patients like Jack), dependency (unlike, say, Lorazepam or Valium (I’m being sarcastic.

They’re both addictive as fuck, chums)) and, most laughably of all, ‘dizziness’ (for patients having their bodies ravaged by chemo, I suspect that feeling a little woozy probably won’t be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, especially if their pain is eased and their appetite is restored). They even use the classic “Think of the children!” gambit, fearing that if medical marijuana is made legal, children will be able to access the substance accidentally. Children will never stumble on Mum or Dad’s OxyContin, Demerol, Ritalin, medicinal speed (!), or even, like, Crazy Uncle Johnny’s cigarettes, though. They’re different.

This in spite of the numerous benefits marijuana brings. It’s a godsend for some individuals suffering chronic pain (Chronic > Chronic pain, tbh), it remedies some of the deleterious side effects of chemotherapy. It works wonders for the pain and listlessness. It reinvigorates appetite by means of a side effect often perceived to be irritating or humorous.

Who knew the munchies could come in handy? This effect works in concurrence with marijuana’s reduction of nausea. A more abstract but still indubitably positive effect is in the control someone who takes medical marijuana has. They can administer the drug themselves, using a means they prefer and in a dosage that they feel is perfectly contoured to their needs. As Whoopi Goldberg says, being able to vape her bud instead of smoke it is a means her lungs can handle. If you can only stomach a teeny-weeny bit, then, that would be A-OK. In a medical process where every other step is out of your control and in the hands of either a medical professional or your own

mutinous body, being allocated a degree of autonomy seems to me humane and essential.

As Ross Bell, Executive Director of the Drug Foundation states, “it’s a no-brainer” that medical marijuana should be made available to those for whom it can help.

In a report issued by the New Zealand Government, a group of experts concluded that comprehensively legalising medical marijuana was the correct course of action.

This was seven years ago; no corrective legislation has been enacted since. What might surprise you, as it surprised me, was that in one specific form, medical marijuana is already legal in New Zealand. Sativex is a mouth-spray that contains cannabinoids which ameliorate symptoms of multiple sclerosis (MS), and it has been approved for use in New Zealand. However, it is not government-subsidised, which makes it prohibitively costly, and you can only be approved to use it if you meet a stringent set of criteria (including suffering from MS – it cannot be prescribed off-script), know the right doctor and undergo what can best be described as rigmarole.

Outside of this exception, the New Zealand health board refuses to permit medical marijuana or even conduct research on cannabinoid-based products, regardless of how the cannabis is ingested. A common misconception is that medical marijuana needs to be smoked. It can be ingested in a pill form that does not generate a ‘high’ – more analogous to aspirin, which is comprised of a compound found in bark, than tobacco.

On the matter, it seems the Government is adamant that it will not think critically because of the stigma attached with smoking weed, and a hard-headed, fearmongered belief that marijuana is the Devil’s drug in spite of the swathes of empirical research that prove otherwise. In refusing to relent in their draconian approach to drug consumption, they are directly harming their own people.

This is, if you’ll allow me to editorialise, a fucking travesty. I don’t want to come off as disingenuous here; the reasons I want cannabis legalised extend no further than wanting to be able to smoke the wrong kind of cigarette with a cup of tea before bed without fear of legal recrimination. For those suffering vile illness, it is less a want than a necessity, recreational users be damned.

Medical practitioners have an ethical duty to afford their patients comfort and dignity.

It is a duty that is being shirked. l editor@salient.org.nz

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GROWERS’ ALMANAC

BY DUNCAN & CAM

T

he Government is proposing to change the law around objectionable publications. Under the new system, possessing a magazine which includes instructions on how to grow cannabis would be punishable by up to ten years in prison. The maximum punishment you can get for actually growing cannabis is just eight years’ imprisonment.

This is fucking ridiculous.

So Salient decided to make criminals out of all of you, and include a grower’s guide to growing green (as if planting seeds and watering them until they grow is some big secret). Just by holding this magazine, you’re committing a crime worthy of ten years in prison.

INGREDIENTS: - Seeds - Soil - Water - Sunlight

STEP 1: ACQUIRING SEEDS

Order them online. It’s illegal but hardly ever prosecuted. If you use sites like , you can get ‘stealth shipping’. $50 should be enough to get ten seeds. Order feminised ones, as the female cannabis plant produces the skunkiest buds.

STEP 2: GERMINATION

Put the seeds about 2 cm deep into the soil in your pot. Cover with damp soil. Keep in a warm area. After a couple of days, you should see shoots growing. Easy.

STEP 3: GENERAL CARE

Water the plant daily, but not so much that it drowns. Leave it in the sunlight for the entire day. After a couple of months it should be ready to be harvested.

STEP 4: HARVESTING

Cut the plant off at the base. Pick each of your buds off and leave them to dry for a couple of days. Then get so high you green out on the couch.

STEP 5: SALE

Text your friends: “Tinnies for sale, $20 each”. Exchange your product for cash. Profit.

It doesn’t take a genius to see that it doesn’t take a genius to grow cannabis. Too bad this country is run by idiots.

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WHO’S DAK

GIRL T

BY Hilary Beattie

rying to muse comically about drugs is more difficult than I thought it would be. I don’t really like them. I don’t want to argue about it, because I know you’d be all: “FREE CHOICE LEGALISATION FREEDOM DEREGULATION FREEDOM EFFICIENCY”. If I wanted DebSoc in my ear, I would just indulge in heavy petting with one of the Editors.

(Business idea: heavy-petting zoo.)

There are better and worse ways to not be into drugs. I’ve chosen ‘being scared of them’. You think this is a joke. Remember that Starsky and Hutch remake with Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson and how it was about a massive coke deal? I walked out of that movie at 14 because drugs scared the bejesus out of me. When my mum was training to be a nurse ten years ago, she had to do an assignment about BZP, so we had some in the house. I used to check up on the packet obsessively to make sure she hadn’t taken it. I don’t know if this is normal for a 12-year-old. I don’t think it is, but it is more normal than trying to stop my brother from watching The OC for fear that he would become cooler than me, which was something else I did at age 12.

This fear of drugs used to just be part of a weird aversion to breaking the law. Any of my friends who saw me drive past on the way to school without stopping for them because I was on a restricted licence will vouch for this.

Being rigidly afraid of stuff that everyone else seems to be relaxed over – alcohol, weed, pills, whatever – can make you feel a bit nuts. Especially where it’s not based on any negative personal experience, just a mental list of some negative consequences you heard about that resonated much more strongly than any positive ones.

As an aside, you feel very uncool and much less smug than you’d imagine when you’re a teen and some adult is like, “My child, your peer, is doing this thing that stresses me out,” and you betray their kid by saying: “Oh, yeah that is stressful, I’m scared shitless of that. I just read Stephen Fry’s biography – how aspirational is being in the Cambridge Footlights?”

The smart thing to do when you’re scared of something is try to combat your fear, I guess. There’s not much incentive where your fear is breaking the law, but I was also pretty wary of alcohol and jaywalking,* so there was a lot of personal growth to be getting on with. I was reassured again and again (whether explicitly or implicitly) by people that I trust, that if I’m comfortable around

whoever I’m doing whatever with, there’s no reason for me to be scared. 420tely,** “have cool friends that make you feel good whatever you decide to do” is a broad lesson that caught most of the hang-ups.

Now that I’m not that scared (“not that scared” here meaning ‘can watch films that have cocaine as a plot instrument’), the fear has been replaced by disinterest. This disinterest has a culprit.

That culprit is weed stories.

Two criteria must be satisfied to unleash this vitriol: (a) the story begins “I was/we were high/smashed/pinging hard,” and (b) the story is shit. There are a lot of shit stories that don’t involve some kind of altered mind, and there are a lot of good stories that do. What needs to happen from here, as part of this new thing I’m doing where I treat everything I write like a policy paper, is either people stop telling these stories OR they tell me what it is that I talk about that’s as boring to them as their weed anecdotes are to me.

I asked one of my friends, a member of what I like to call the ‘casual weed-smoking intelligentsia’, for his opinion on weed stories. He said: “You better not refer to me as a member of the casual weed-smoking intelligentsia,” “I have a love–hate relationship with weed; I used to do it much more, but now sitting around watching a movie high is not the most fun thing I could do at any given time,” and “Getting high and going on adventures has been one of my favourite things about uni”.

See how that paragraph sucked?! There are just more interesting things to talk about. (I should mention that my friend is still a great guy.)

I wish you the best in your casual use of whatever it is you use. Tobacco, caffeine, alcohol, marijuana, Deep Heat, Lipitor, pawpaw, Bonjela – yeah, I got all the major ones, I think. Just be comfortable with whatever you do. If you have no interest in smoking weed, don’t do it just because you have a crush on someone who likes getting high, as part of your many-pronged approach to making them love you. Look, I know that sounded specific, but it was definitely general. I can physically feel some of you relating to it. Be well.

* Not a weed pun. There is a great one coming, though. ** There it is.

editor@salient.org.nz

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FEATURE

AFTER THE

HAS CLEARED

A SOBER LOOK AT SYNTHETIC DRUGS

BY OLLIE NEAS

T

he story of Jesse Murray was first reported in The Press in early April.

Jesse had started smoking synthetic cannabis when he was 14 to cope with a family trauma, but he was soon hooked on the stuff. By the time he was 17, just three years later, Jesse was on the streets, stealing video games and begging from strangers just to scrape together enough to sustain his habit.

The next week, Jesse’s story was picked up by Campbell Live. In one segment of what became a fortnight of extended 24

the drugs issue

coverage on the subject, Jesse’s mum told the 7 pm faithful of her horror at seeing her son struggle through withdrawal: she watched him curled foetally on the floor in a pool of his own vomit and blood, convulsing and crying in pain. He was trying to quit, but, without synthetics, he couldn’t eat. Without eating, he had lost a third of his body weight in a matter of weeks. Without synthetics, he thought he was going to die.

We soon learned there were other stories like Jesse’s. In The New Zealand Herald

we heard of Rose, a 17-year-old from Auckland who tried synthetics just for fun but quickly became addicted. Her personality changed, she said, and she started to suffer panic attacks. $1000 her dad loaned her disappeared in a puff of smoke. She lost her job, her friends, and much of her body weight. It was not until she was told by her doctor that she was developing psychosis – she was literally losing touch with reality – that she decided to quit. And it wasn’t just the kids. The Herald profiled 34-year-old Waikato dairy

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farmer Scott, a seasoned cannabis user, who became addicted to synthetics in a way that had never happened with its organic cousin.

Paranoid, he began watching his girlfriend’s house for two hours a night, believing her to be cheating on him. He also thought his cows were out to kill him.

Jesse, Rose and Scott are three of a growing legion of faces of a frenzied moral panic engulfing New Zealand, a panic evident in the headlines describing lives devastated by addiction that have filled newspapers from The Southland Times to The Nelson Mail to the Western Leader. Synthetic cannabis is, this month, the acid corroding the moral fabric of our nation.

The story we heard over and over again was, at its heart, the same. A casual experiment turns into an addiction that can’t be broken. An initial buzz fades to numbness, an emotional void. Money gone.

Broken families. Good kids wasting away.

All of these, real stories of anguish – anguish that, channelled into protest placards and vitriolic editorials, demanded that something needed to be done.

It was as if nothing had been done.

But something had been done. We had heard this story before.

The first we heard about synthetic cannabis was in mid-2010 – at the bottom of an article in The New Zealand Herald about Whangarei teens turning up to school wasted on party pills. Although they had been on the market for nearly a decade by this point, it was not until the nation’s paternal instinct had finally disengaged from the teens-on-party-pills frenzy that the media noticed that something known as ‘synthetic marijuana’ was being sold in convenience stores, petrol stations and novelty shops across the country. It was a big seller among teens – a bigger seller even than party pills. But these were early days: what was this stuff?

When synthetics first entered the

market in the early 2000s as ‘Spice’, it was commonly believed its psychoactive effect was achieved simply through a mixture of legal herbs. But it soon emerged that it wasn’t the herbs that were the active part – it was lab-made chemical compounds with names like HU-210, AM-2201 and cannabicyclohexanol that are sprayed onto the herbs. These compounds mimic the effect of the compounds found in natural cannabis like THC, inducing in the user relaxation, a sensory dissociation, and a mild euphoria.

But clinically designed synthesised compounds bind much more strongly to the brain’s THC receptors than ordinary THC, making the effects less predictable, more powerful and often more dangerous.

Hence: extreme anxiety, paranoia, and hallucinations. And these adverse effects happen a whole lot more often than with ordinary cannabis: as this year’s Global Drugs Survey showed, nearly four per cent of synthetic-cannabis users sought emergency medical treatment, compared to 0.13 per cent for ordinary cannabis users.

But these statistics are recent – when Spice first appeared, little was known about it, little other than that it was a new and novel way to get high.

Much of the early coverage was in rural papers. The Southland Times reported on Invercargill teens getting stoned off ‘Kronic’ bought from convenience stores. The Northern Advocate reported on a Northland mum whose 14-year-old son had become addicted to ‘Dream’. The Otago Daily Times located the drug’s accidental inventor, John Huffman, an American emeritus professor who had developed the compounds in the ‘90s as a replacement for medical marijuana.

His advice was blunt: “stop smoking these products.”

But demand was growing. Kids were buying the stuff because it didn’t show up on tests for cannabis and, most importantly of all, it was, unlike ordinary cannabis, legal.

The law surrounding designer drugs was a free-for-all – until a specific drug was listed

as a classified substance under the Misuse of Drugs Act, it was legal and unregulated.

Synthetics could legally be sold anywhere and to anyone. In fact, they were being sold in over 4000 outlets nationwide in over 100 varieties.

By 2013, with the national well of moral panic flowing freely, synthetics were public enemy number one and the media was plumbing new depths. Seemingly unaware of comments made by Matthew Wielenga, the Auckland-based manufacturer of Kronic, which attributed the growth in demand to the media’s coverage of the issue (“Every time someone does a story we just get bigger and bigger. We have had literally millions in free marketing.”), Radio Live’s Duncan Garner got high on national television. His purpose was the same as that of Campbell Live’s Tristram Clayton, who had done exactly the same thing in 2011: to show not only that it’s hard to appear on national television while stoned and surrounded by cameras, but that something needed to be done.

The Government had tried to deal with the problem as far back as 2011, implementing a ban on all known synthetic cannabis products like they had with party pills half a decade earlier. But the industry, knowing this was coming, simply returned to the lab and tweaked the formula. ‘K2’ and ‘Kronic’ were gone, but within days, ‘Juicy Puff’ and ‘Tai High’ were on the shelves.

When 2013 rolled around and public outrage reached a crescendo, Associate Minister of Health Peter Dunne stepped forward with a bold new plan. Dunne had realised that the previous ban-and-wait approach wasn’t working. Not only was it simply creating a game of cat-and-mouse between government and manufacturers, but overseas experience had shown that total prohibitions simply pushed the market underground, changing nothing.

“The pressure on us was to do something lasting,” Dunne told Salient, “I talked to similar ministers in other countries and they were all expressing a similar frustration. So editor@salient.org.nz

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FEATURE

we got the idea of saying well, why don’t we turn the game on its head? Why don’t we say, you prove your products are ‘low risk’, then you can sell your products. And the standard that we’ll use is something equivalent to the test you have when you want to bring new medicines to the market.”

The result was the Psychoactive Substances Bill. It did several things: it implemented an age restriction on purchase and possession; it established that only products proven to be “low risk” could be sold; and it gave local councils a broad discretion to regulate where it could be sold. Until a proper testing regime could be established, interim licences were granted to all products on the market which had not been associated with adverse effects. In July 2013, the Bill was passed with a majority of 119–1, and the Wild West was replaced with a regulated but governmentcertified market.

The impact was immediate: the number of outlets dropped by 95 per cent, the number of products by two-thirds, and the National Poisons Centre reported that fewer people were presenting themselves with difficulties. Dunne’s bold response seemed to be working.

Then came April.

We met Jesse, Rose and Scott. We saw images, broadcast on Campbell Live, of addicts lining up outside adult shops in Papakura and Naenae at nine in the morning. We saw protesters take to the streets across the country from Whangarei to Dunedin demanding action. Despite the Psychoactive Substances Act – a manifestly reasoned attempt to control the problem but avoid the adverse effects of total prohibition – people seemed, in the words of Dunne himself, “more agitated than ever.”

Could people simply not see that the law was working? Dunne claimed that the media had blown the issue out of proportion.

The success of the regime in reducing the number of retailers by 95 per cent meant that the harms were more concentrated and therefore more visible. One adult shop selling synthetics to 50 customers in a line is more visible than 50 convenience stores each

selling synthetics to one customer.

But this is little consolation to those – like Jesse Murray and his family– still suffering first-hand the harms of synthetics. That things are better doesn’t mean that they are fixed. The regime was meant to restrict sale to “low risk” products, yet dozens of the products that seemed to have been long a part of the problem were still being sold under interim licences. People were still addicted. Kids were still getting high.

“Our decision to let the 43 products on the market stay on the shelves for three months was a pragmatic decision,” Dunne told Salient, “no adverse effects had been associated with them to that point. At the time it was 50. We have since had problems associated with nine of them and they have been withdrawn.”

What, then, did people want? Calvin Hooper, a farmer from Blackhead, summed it up nicely to The Herald: “I want every single crumb of it removed off the market and nothing to replace it.”

The problem was that it wasn’t just about the Jesses of New Zealand and their moving and well-articulated personal stories we could empathise with and understand. It was also about a man in Naenae captured briefly on Campbell Live, swaying by a playground at 9 am, unshaven and dishevelled, with a joint of synthetic cannabis in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other. It was as though we felt that if we just banned synthetics we

could make not just the joint disappear, but the whole ugly scene. We wanted to wave the magic wand and make it all go away.

But no matter how hard we may wish, this is reality, and in reality, magic amounts to little more than wishful thinking. There are some things laws cannot change. Certain things remain constant. People still want to get high. Dunne to Salient: “Would I go back to a ban? No. Because we would go right back to where we were.” That was Wednesday two weeks ago. The following Sunday, the Government announced that all synthetic cannabinoids being sold under interim licences would be banned until the new testing regime comes into force. Until they can be proven “low risk”, all synthetics are off the market as of next Monday.

Just like magic.

We care about Jesse, Rose and Scott, but reality also includes those unfit for in-depth profiles, those that made up the lines outside the adult stores in Naenae and Papakura.

Despite appearances, these people wanted exactly the same thing those watching Campbell Live sought from their evening glass of wine: a little bit of relief. But they waited outside adult shops the midnight before Good Friday because they, well aware of the pain of withdrawal, dreaded the long weekend. Welcome now to a very long weekend. l

MINISTER DUNNE OFFERS THE FOLLOWING ADVICE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE DEPENDENT ON SYNTHETICS AND WANT TO STOP: Where to get help: If you’d like confidential advice and support to get help for yourself or someone you know, there are a range of free services, including the Alcohol Drug Helpline (0800 787 797). There is also a comprehensive range of treatment providers and support services (by region) through the Addictions Treatment Directory (www.addictionshelp.org. nz).

The Ministry’s website has health information on synthetic cannabinoids, including symptoms and getting help, at: http://www.health.govt.nz/your-health/healthy-living/ addictions/alcohol-and-drugs/synthetic-cannabinoids.

DrugHelp (www.drughelp.org.nz) is a website for people who are concerned about how drugs are affecting their lives – whether it’s because of their own use or because someone close to them has a problem. It includes information on drug-treatment options, including support groups, residential treatment, intensive outpatient programmes, one-on-one counselling and drug-treatment units, as well as support for family and Kaupapa Māori. editor@salient.org.nz

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HIGHDEAS

FOR SMOKING CANNABIS

HIGHDEAS

70%

30%

Over 70% of new zealanders have tried marijuana 30% of New Zealand smoke weed on a regular basis •

•

•

•

•

• • •

Economists’ analyses have shown that if marijuana was completely legalised and unregulated, economies of scale in the production process would mean that it would be able to be produced so cheaply that it would make sense for bars to offer weed free like they currently do with peanuts.

There are two main chemicals which cause the cannabis high: THC (tetrahydrocannabinol) and CBD (cannabidiol). THC produces a more cerebral high (this type makes you giggle and contemplate life), but is also known to increase anxiety. CBD is the opposite – it suppresses anxiety and makes your body stoned (this is the type that makes you green out).

There are two strains of cannabis plant: indica and sativa.

Indica may have a CBD:THC ratio 4–5 times that of sativa.

Therefore, indica is the strain most used in medical marijuana to treat anxiety-related diseases such as PTSD. In his teenage years living in Hawaii, Barack Obama was the leader of the ‘Choom Gang’. He thanked the gang and his pot dealer, Ray, in his school yearbook. According to other members, Barack used to frequently jump the queue for the joint and yell, “Interception!”. What a dick.

Bob Dylan introduced The Beatles to cannabis. Dylan had misheard the lyrics to ‘I Want to Hold Your Hand’ (he heard “I get high”, when the actual lyrics are “I can’t hide”). When they were hanging out backstage after a concert, Dylan pulled out a joint. According to John Lennon: “We were smoking dope, drinking wine and generally being rock’n’rollers and having a laugh, you know, and surrealism.” Oh to have been a fly in that room.

C L A S S A (very high risk): methamphetamine, magic mushrooms, cocaine, heroin, LSD (acid).

C L A S S B (high risk): cannabis oil, hashish, morphine, opium, ecstasy and many amphetamine-type substances.

C L A S S C (moderate risk): cannabis seed, cannabis plant, codeine.

80%

80% of those convicted for smoking cannabis are male

30% 24%

30% of cannabis convictions were for those aged 30–39 24% were aged 20–24

editor@salient.org.nz

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HIGHDEAS

MUSIC

GOT TO GET YOU INTO

C A LV I N H A R R I S Way back in 2007, before his music had completely turned to shit, he released ‘Merrymaking at My Place’, a joyous account of a house party (“We’re merrymaking / All the stuff that I’ve been taking”).

CHANCE THE RAPPER Pretty much his entire album Acid Rap is about drugs in one way or another, including his revelatory experiences on LSD. CYPRESS HILL ‘Dr Greenthumb’ – A comedic account of a weed-grower and simultaneously an ode to the green stuff. Also, ‘Hits from the Bong’.

DA N N Y B R OW N Way too many songs (and drugs) to choose from.

BY N I C K FA R G H E R , D U N C A N M C L AC H L A N , G U S M I TC H E L L , C A M E R O N P R I C E , I M O G E N T E M M , T H O M A S T H E DA N K E N G I N E & A S TO N E D G OAT

ERIC CLAPTON “If you want to hang out, you got to take her out, Cocaine”. Tune.

FRANK OCEAN ‘Crack Rock’ (an account of crack-cocaine addiction), and ‘Novacane’ (“I can’t feel my face / What are we smoking anyway?”).

AC T I O N B R O N S O N The big man loves his weed. No specific songs come to mind, but there is the heartbreaking line: “At times my only friends in life are drugs and the cannoli” (from the song ‘9/24/11’).

AFROMAN ‘Because I Got High’. Goes without saying, really.

B E AC H B OY S Like their British counterparts, the Beach Boys tripped their way through most of their music.

B E AT L E S ‘Doctor Robert’, ‘A Day in the Life’, ‘Happiness is a Warm Gun’ – the Beatles littered their songs with drug references.

B O B DY L A N ‘Rainy Day Women #12 & 35’. “Everybody must get stoned.”

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the drugs issue

J AY - Z One of his 99 problems was being pulled over while trafficking a shit-ton of drugs.

K AT C H A F I R E ‘Collie Herb’ (“Collie herb man mixed with the sound system / Me got some good karma, it’s good marijuana / Come and share with me yeah”). See also: Horace Andy – ‘Collie Herb’; Lee “Scratch” Perry – ‘Free Up the Weed’.

MISSY ELLIOT ‘Pass that Dutch’. Similar to ‘Pass the Dutchie’ by Musical Youth.

RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS “Under the Bridge downtown.”

SUBLIME ‘Smoke Two Joints’ (at least).

V E LV E T U N D E R G R O U N D ‘Heroin’ is the best drug song ever written, and ‘I’m Waiting for the Man’ is instantly relatable to anyone who’s ever bought drugs.

HIGHDEAS

FILM

“TAKE THE BEST ORGASM YOU’VE EVER HAD... MULTIPLY IT BY A THOUSAND, AND YOU’RE STILL NOWHERE NEAR IT” A M E R I C A N B E AU T Y “Do you like to party?” Middle-aged people smoking dope is so great to watch.

L I T E R AT U R E

T H E B R E A K FA S T C L U B The best self-discovery-during-a-Saturdaydetention movie of all time needs a pot scene.

DA Z E D A N D CO N F U S E D Sex, drugs and rock’n’roll in movie form.

If only our school parties had Matthew McConaughey.

F E A R A N D L O AT H I N G IN LAS VEGAS Based on the book, Fear and Loathing is a jaunt through the death throes of the drugfilled ‘60s.

HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE Epitome of a stoner movie.

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS So many budding stoners attempted to roll a cross joint after watching this film.

PULP FICTION The best one-liners, a high John Travolta and the best reaction to an overdose ever.

REQUIEM FOR A DREAM Because some FILM101 students would have my head if I didn’t mention this film.

ANYTHING BY STEPHEN KING BETWEEN 1979 AND 1987 Cocaine addiction turned Stephen King into a writing machine. He went on to say his addiction was so fierce that he can’t even remember what he wrote in that time.

THE DOORS OF PERCEPTION ALDOUS HUXLEY

A member of the prestigious scientist Huxley family, Aldous’ experiences with mescaline caused him to look into the human consciousness.

DR JEKYLL AND MR HYDE ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON

The famous novel of dual identities was written over a six-day cocaine binge.

E R N E S T H E M I N G W AY Massive alcoholic. He famously said, “Write drunk; edit sober”, a sentiment Salient can get behind.

E V E R Y B E AT P O E T E V E R Kerouac, Ginsberg, Bukowski, Burroughs. If it weren’t for drugs, they’d have had nothing to write about.

T H E R U N A W AY S Slightly homoerotic scene involving Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett and Cherie Currie snorting drugs in a plane toilet.

INFINITE JEST

S C A R FAC E Timeless cocaine gun-wielding classic. Need I say more?

KUBLA KHAN

TRAINSPOTTING This whole movie is basically a drug-use scene and it’s just plain excellent. Also, it has a killer soundtrack.

W O L F O F WA L L S T R E E T Has the best scene involving quaaludes in movie history.

D AV I D F O S T E R W A L L A C E

Wherein he famously discussed his addiction to weed.

S A M U E L T AY L O R C O L E R I D G E

Coleridge scribbled this Romantic poem after an opium fever dream.

He was interrupted during his writing, and returned an hour later to find he couldn’t remember his vision.

O N E F L E W O V E R T H E C U C KO O ’ S N E S T KEN KESEY

During his writing he experimented with mescaline, a hallucinogen derived from certain species of cacti. editor@salient.org.nz

31

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the drugs issue

YOUR PLACE IN THE WORLD

FEATURE

A STONER’S SOJOURN

INTO THE EMERALD TRIANGLE VIC STUDENT LEIGH BARR SPENT A SUMMER HARVESTING IN THE STATES. SHE TRAVELLED TO THE EMERALD TRIANGLE IN SEARCH OF AN ILLEGAL MARIJUANA PLANTATION TO WORK ON. IN THIS FEATURE, SHE WRITES ABOUT HER EXPERIENCE TRIMMING AND PREPARING DAK IN CALIFORNIA.

A

fter eight months on the road in America and having invested every last penny into the psychedelic melting pot that was Burning Man, I was culturally enriched and financially broke. But being a seasoned traveller with a whole new insight into the American ‘game’, I was ready to hustle my way out of monetary woes. My solution? Get that Kush Cash.

The standard rate is US$200 per pound of trimmed marijuana. With my eyes set on the green gold, I bustled out of the Nevada Desert in search of the Emerald Triangle: Mendocino, Trinity and Humboldt – three northern California counties famous for their marijuana production. With luck on my side, I ended up trimming some of the finest herb I’ve ever had the pleasure to handle in

exchange for stone(d) cold cash.

I had heard the stories and fantasised about this dream job. Getting paid to sit in the sun all day trimming (or ‘cleaning’) weed was something I thought I was born for.

Why my careers advisor never picked this up at school, I don’t know. I also didn’t know how easy or hard it would be to find work.

I thought being a single white female from New Zealand would help my cause, but could also get me into trouble. Stories circulated of women getting paid more money if they trimmed topless, or incidents where drugs and alcohol were used to lure women away from the trimming fields and into the bedroom. I wasn’t prepared to sacrifice my dignity or safety for money, but where is the fun without a little gamble?

I was WWOOFing my way down the West Coast, learning about organic methods for growing and harvesting fruit and vegetables.

Learning to cultivate cannabis seemed like a natural addition to my newfound insights.

Although medicinal marijuana is legal in California, farming for recreational use is still a felony. Needless to say, my job-hunting would be through the black market. I risked getting kicked out of the country if caught by the feds, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

My experience was pretty chilled in comparison to articles I’d read: Mexican drug lords pistol-whipping and robbing growers; trimmers living in basements, crammed in 20-deep, cellphones taken off them and blindfolded so they had no clue exactly where editor@salient.org.nz

33

FEATURE

I FOUND A GIG THROUGH A FELLOW TRAVELLER AND WENT TO WORK ON A SMALL HOMESTEAD WITH AN ELDERLY COUPLE THAT USED TO LIVE WITH JANIS JOPLIN BACK IN THEIR SAN FRANCISCO HEYDAY.THEY HAD A SMALL MOM-AND-POP OPERATION WITH TEN PLANTS, BUT COULDN’T AFFORD TO PAY ME TO TRIM FOR THEM. THE WOMAN IN HER LATE 70S WOULD HANG HER WEED IN THE BEDROOM AND THEN LATER SIT AT THE KITCHEN TABLE AND TRIM AWAY. HAVING DINNER AND LIGHTING UP THE PIPE WITH TWO OF THE ORIGINAL ‘60S HIPPIES CONFIRMED THE OLD ADAGE ‘TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION’.

34

the drugs issue

in the rolling hills they were heading to work.

I learnt through other travellers not to go east of Redding; where the real redneck growers operate. The closer you are to Highway 101, the safer you are. Problem is, most operations are at least an hour out from any place resembling a small township.

People go about finding work in all sorts of ways, and there is a noticeable influx of vagabonds into northern California during harvest season. Steampunks would sit on the side of the road with cardboard signs reading “will work for weed” or a simple outline of a pair of scissors. I knew there would be a surplus of willing workers, so decided to look outside of the regular towns and headed to a small haven with a population of roughly 200 people. I found a WWOOFing gig through a fellow traveller and went to work on a small homestead with an elderly couple that used to live with Janis Joplin back in their San Francisco heyday.

They had a small mom-and-pop operation with ten plants, but couldn’t afford to pay me to trim for them. The woman in her late 70s would hang her weed in the bedroom and then later sit at the kitchen table and trim away. Having dinner and lighting up the pipe with two of the original ‘60s hippies confirmed the old adage ‘truth is stranger than fiction’. After a couple of weeks on their paradisal homestead, I had met enough locals to be proven trustworthy and was led to the green mine.

The first camp I went to, I was lucky enough to have a New Zealand cohort with me; together we slept outside under the stars and woke in the morning to smoothies and scrambled eggs. We thought we had hit the jackpot. ‘Steve’ was a small-town thug and new to the game. His operation of 80 plants was laughable compared to what I saw later in my trimming career, but it was a good start and his stuff was easy to work with. I finally understood those ‘dank’ and ‘juicy’ references in hip-hop songs. Together we mused how “we were like the righteous gatekeepers to good ganja, man”. However, the initial pleasure of trimming up a decentsized bud soon passed and the novelty of swimming in marijuana wore off. It would take approximately eight hours per pound to get the $200 cash. Although experienced trimmers can make three pounds in 16 hours,

FEATURE

my male co-worker struggled to make the daily pound. As our boss said: “girls can’t skate and men can’t trim weed.”

Humboldt County makes no effort to disguise its booming illegal economy.

The local store had a notably large array of scissors, sharpeners, trimming trays and clear plastic turkey bags (which are filled with the produce). Even the local radio station KMUD played trimming-themed music. They had special Citizens’ Watch announcements, which would frequently be played intermittently alongside legalise-it songs.

“This is KMUD with a Citizens’ Watch Report. There are three police trucks with ATVs on the back heading up Goose Creek Road. Okay? Repeat: Citizens’ Watch has just got a call from a concerned citizen. They said police were heading up Goose Creek Road about three minutes ago.”

Each time helicopters flew overhead, everyone would stop and look at each other.

They would continue on their flight path and we would all get back to work. The adrenaline the sound of the propellers gave you was addictive. Every plane and helicopter became the feds in our paranoid minds.

While we trimmed, we talked about escape

plans into the redwoods and the depths of the King Range. I figured if the police came and I didn’t have time to run, I would simply claim ignorance. If that failed, I could always claim victimisation – but fortunately, the moment never arrived. My co-workers at the next camp I worked at assured me that when big stings happen, they don’t bother with the trimmers and just want to catch the drug lords of the operation. I didn’t know if they were making shit up or not, but it comforted me somewhat.

I felt relatively comfortable and treated it like any other seasonal harvest job.

Like orchard picking in Hawke’s Bay, but with better pay and perks. Smoking while working was always an option, and you could definitely take advantage of the “one for you, one for me” mentality. Yet the more you smoked, the less you trimmed, and I quickly realised I wanted the cash more than the high. The biggest unforeseen problem was the quality of the weed. That changes everything.

If you’re stuck with big leafy stems, it takes longer to find the actual buds. On the other hand, if you’re working with dry weed, it just crumbles and you struggle to put any of it in your turkey bag.

The ‘Blueberry Farm’ that I went to next

was of a higher calibre and had been in the business for years. This place had a medicinal licence for 99 plants and then a cheeky hidden field, which yielded another 500 plants. They actually did have blueberries, but I question the attention they were given. Here, there were roughly ten trimmers: a few Americans, a German, a couple of Portuguese girls and an Israeli. Conversations were limited to your star sign, travel stories in Mexico, and what you thought your dream the night prior meant about your current identity complex. The Israeli didn’t utter more than five sentences. He was slamming out threepounds minimum a day. The rest of us were lucky to nag one pound with the dry stuff we were working with.

Only ten days into my lucrative career, I decided to call it quits. My romantic notion of bathing in marijuana had ended, and although I was stacking cash quickly, my mental health was being compromised. I couldn’t stand to sit down for another eightto-ten-hour day in a creaky chair for a measly $200. I had made enough money to keep me going for at least another month, and figured I had better quit while I was ahead.

Looking back at my time on the weed farms, perhaps I would go back with a group of friends to keep me sane. But at the same time, I realise how lucky I was to come out of that experience unscathed. Visiting a gangster’s paradise was a novel experience, and one I was dead set on. But I would prefer to enjoy smoking weed in a relaxed setting with friends than selling my soul to sit all day and trim it.

Jah Bless. l As originally published at www.lostravellers.co.nz editor@salient.org.nz

35

INTERVIEW WITH A

BUDDING ENTREPRENEUR

BY MAC MONEY

DRUG DEALERS: GANG-RELATED, AGGRESSIVE, POOR, ETHNIC, STRANGERS. SALIENT’S RESIDENT GONZO JOURNALIST MAC MONEY KNOWS THAT PERCEPTION IS FALSE, SO HE SAT DOWN FOR A FEW BONGS WITH HIS FRIEND AND DEALER, CUZZZ. SALIENT CAN’T USE HIS REAL NAME, BUT WE CAN DESCRIBE HIS APPEARANCE: HE’S WHITE, MIDDLE-CLASS, SOFT-SPOKEN, PERCEPTIVE AND FILLED WITH ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRIT. MAC AND CUZZZ TALKED BUSINESS. AS ALWAYS, IT’S BOOMING. WHAT IS YOUR OCCUPATION?

AVERAGE PERSON TO START SELLING?

I’m a student. I’m currently finishing off a Bachelor of Arts. I suppose you could say this is also my job (points to the pile of weed, tin foil and scales on the table).

Easy as. Demand is really limitless, it’s just how much you can supply at the end of the day. Like, there will always be hungry mouths to feed. It’s a habit-forming thing.

TELL ME ABOUT HOW YOU GOT INTO THE BUSINESS. I didn’t qualify for StudyLink living costs last year after going on a bit of a bender in second year. I panicked when I realised I wasn’t gonna get the money. I didn’t tell my parents for quite a while. I got a Student Job Search job to get some capital, then got some ounces and started the game.

HOW EASY OR HARD WOULD IT BE FOR AN 36

the drugs issue

DO YOU RUN IT LIKE A PROPER BUSINESS? I definitely am more conscious now of the profit side of things than when I started. I was more hand-to-mouth back then – I was literally selling a couple of tins to get enough money to pay rent on Fridays. I was pretty slack back then, smoking most of my profits away, so I had to get a lot more disciplined. Focussing more on profit influenced my own smoking patterns – I went from doing two papers in first semester and smoking

INTERVIEW

beugs [slang for a bong] literally every day, to restricting myself to smoking in the evenings. When you’re going through about two grams a day through personal and social use, it chips away at your bottom line.

HOW DO YOU ATTRACT CUSTOMERS? DO YOU DO ANY MARKETING? When I first started and needed to build up a big client base, I did tell friends to tell their mates that they trusted; a lot of the time I had no idea who I was selling to. But now I’m at the stage where I’ve cut pretty much all the randoms out. Mostly, I sell to my wider circle of mates, and their flatmates.

There are way fewer degrees of separation.

It’s much safer that way.

WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE MADE FRIENDS WHO USED TO BE JUST CUSTOMERS? Definitely. Of course.

IS IT STRANGE FOR THEM TO BE FRIENDS AS WELL AS BUYERS? Nah, not really. As I said, most of the people I sell to are mates. So usually they’ll come round for a couple of cones and buy at the same time. It’s less of a dealer–consumer relationship and more of a personal symbiotic relationship.

SO LESS OF A CHORE TO SEE EACH OTHER AND MORE A PLEASURE? Some might say.

HAVE YOU GOT ANY PLANS FOR GROWTH? I’m planning to get out of it fairly soon.

I’ve gotten pretty big now, but the reasons I started selling don’t apply anymore. I’m getting a full Student Allowance. It feels more and more like it’s being greedy in some respects. I’m living comfortably and I’ve achieved what I wanted to in terms of being able to go to uni and not have to work.

HOW DO YOU PROCURE THE PRODUCT? WHO DO YOU GET IT FROM?

dealers. It’s all middlemen. Heaps of guys drive to the provinces where weed is cheaper and better quality, then take it back to the main centres and sell to dealers.

HOW MUCH PRODUCT WOULD YOU MOVE ON AVERAGE? The most I’ve done in a week is over half a pound. You’ve gotta make a big turnover if you want to make a profit and have some to smoke.

Editor’s note: A pound is about 450 grams.

An ounce is 28 grams. A standard $20 tinny weighs about 1 gram depending on the dealer.

Cuzzz gives a bit more ‘cause he’s a generous motherfucker.

WHERE IN NZ PRODUCES THE BEST BUD? In my experience, I’d probably say Taranaki bud is the best.

WHERE DOES MOST OF THE WEED IN WELLINGTON COME FROM? Heaps is from up the coast. Some of it is big indoor operations here. Gangs have their pads. And there is an understanding between cops and some growers and gangs.

They’ll turn a blind eye. Or they’ll let you keep growing in return for giving them information.

WHAT IS THE MOST POPULAR DAY OF THE WEEK? Probably Fridays or Saturdays. I get really weird spikes sometimes on Tuesdays. A lot of people want to get high on Tuesdays for some weird reason.

ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, WHAT IS THE SKUNKINESS OF YOUR PRODUCT? 12.

TELL US ABOUT YOUR CLIENTELE. I’d say 90 per cent white, middle-class, tertiary-educated young people. The future leaders of Aotearoa.

EVER THOUGHT OF DIVERSIFYING It’s not gangs. Unless you live in like Porirua AND SELLING OTHER DRUGS? or in a provincial town. I almost never get it from gangs. It’s mostly from middlemen who know growers, or mates who grow it themselves. During harvest time, I pretty much just get it from growers direct. Harvest is from about February to May.

HOW MUCH OF THE DRUG SUPPLY DO YOU THINK GANGS CONTROL? They control heaps of the growing, because that’s the dangerous part and they’ve got the muscle to evade police. Then they sell it off in pounds. They almost never sell ounces to

I personally do them on the odd occasion, but I’m not really interested in selling them.

Pot’s Class C so if you get caught you’re gonna get a slap on the wrist, but if you have harder drugs it would be a whole lot more serious.

ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT THE POLICE? I personally haven’t had any run-ins because I just don’t look like the type of demographic that’s going to be pulled over or hassled. I’m just an average white guy with a laptop and a backpack. I have heaps of Māori friends who haven’t been so lucky.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THEIR APPROACH TO DRUGS? I think they should just focus on the hard drugs. It’s a moral issue – I know for a fact that none of my customers are going to go off and overdose on my product or slash someone with a samurai sword or whatever.

I sleep easy at night. Other dealers can’t say that. People who work in liquor stores can’t even say that. The Police would have so much more time to deal with harmful drugs if they just laid off dealers like me.

DO YOU SUPPORT LEGALISATION? Yes, I support legalisation. It will be legal in our lifetime, no doubt. You could only eradicate drugs if the state was totalitarian.

I don’t know what the model would be, but I believe it should be regulated by the state in some way. You don’t want to have the situation we have with alcohol and tobacco where big lobbyists run the show and all the money and power is concentrated in a couple of huge corporations.

WOULD YOU LOSE YOUR BUSINESS? Once it’s made legal, I would have no qualms with opening a dispensary and making a career out of this. I can think of far worse ways to make a living than selling hash brownies to people.

DO YOU THINK THAT CANNABIS CAN BE A HARMFUL PRODUCT? Definitely. It’s like any other product – if you abuse it, you’re gonna get hurt. Sitting in bed ripping bongs all day is going to ruin you.

But if you use it maturely and in moderation, it’s safe. Smoking pot in the evenings in your lounge with mates or whatever is harmless.

Most of the harm comes from getting into trouble with the law.

WHAT ABOUT MENTAL-HEALTH EFFECTS? A lot of the anxiety and depression that’s associated with cannabis consumption can be connected with the fact that it’s illegal.

If it was a legal product and people looked at it rationally, would people be as anxious or depressed worrying about their friends judging them for indulging in a bit of enjoyment? They’re not going down to the pub or whatever; they’re at home smoking a joint. Some people don’t like drinking because it makes them angry or black out or whatever, so it’s weird to say they can’t enjoy a different drug which is less harmful and more enjoyable for them individually.

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANTED TO ADD? Can I just say fuck John Key? l

editor@salient.org.nz

37

COLUMN

WEIRD IN TER NE T S HIT W i t h H e n ry & P h i l i p

E

ven if you don’t recognise ‘single-serving sites’ by their name, it’s likely you’ll have encountered this odd beast in the wild grasses of the internet nonetheless; single-serving sites are websites that (a) have a single purpose and page, and (b) have no utility whatsoever. Some of the most notable of these include the ‘Hampster Dance’, which features a cute hamster dancing on a loop, drunkronswanson.com, which plays the

infamous clip of Swanson struttin’ his stuff to Akon on glorious repeat ad infinitum, and that deranged-chicken one.

Mostly, these sites are used to elicit a quick chuckle before moving on. The best of them, however, are so pants-wettingly hilarious that they become more than the sum of their, err, part. My personal favourite is Zombo.com. A soothing, deep voice ‘welcomes’ you to ‘Zombocom’ as multihued circles flash and strobe in centre screen: “You can do anything at Zombocom... The only limit is yourself”; “Yeeessss – this is Zombocom”; “The infinite is possible at Zombocom”; and so on and so forth. All the while, soft jazz plays, starting off smooth as shit and becoming more and more appallingly intrusive. I know that in explaining a joke it instantly loses its humour, but the genius of Zombo is that it’s not exactly clear why it’s hilarious – it just is.

When it was first created, way back in 1999, Zombocom functioned as a satire of ‘flash pages’ that you had to endure before you could access a website (they used to be all the rage). Since then, the gimmick has thankfully gone out of vogue, but Zombocom has remained weird and wonderful, even stripped of context. It’s hard to explain why I love it so much, and why I insist on showing it to friends, acquaintances, strangers

next to me at the library, but it’s vindicating to know that the illustrious Bill Roper and Matt Inman have named-and-shamed it as their favourite website too. If I had to say why, I’d say it’s because the humour is friendly and weirdly, despite the site creator’s intentions, it is kind of inspiring. You’re ‘guaranteed a warm welcome’ indeed.

with uncertainty as to what exactly they are promoting.

The obvious illegality of weed, LSD and their brethren created an exclusive community of those who use such substances. The rule seems to be, “If you haven’t tried, you’re not allowed in,” and you have to leap through hoops to even understand what they’re on. It’s the old catch-22 of applying for a job to get experience, only to learn you need experience to get it. I believe this is mostly due to a lack of information, something that is slowly being rectified by the ever-democratising internet.

We live in the age of the drug connoisseur.

An experienced user can mix and match anything from weed and LSD to ketamine and horse tranquilisers, and then write about the experiences of their highs online. Internet communities such as those who frequent r/ trees and r/drugs on Reddit have sprouted up in following these chemical chefs. For

those who don’t feel brave enough to open the door, it provides a peek through the keyhole into how exactly people use drugs, and for the experienced, it gives them something new to pursue. The fostering of such communities, especially those dealing information as well as substance, would hopefully serve to educate on the dangers and safe use of drugs, preventing potential overdoses and lines to abuse, somewhere free from the watchful eye of unsympathetic authority. This joint venture ensures the safety of future generations of jokers, smokers and midnight tokers.

Of course, this is nothing new. Scientific aristocrat Aldous Huxley famously wrote of his experiences with mescaline. He believed the human mind was evolutionarily designed to be closed off to abstract thought, and that drugs naturally facilitate the “opening” of the doors to perception that all humans desire. As always, I believe the key lies in information.

h t t p :// zo m b o . co m /

And another thing: do you remember that ANZ ad where it was like: “When you’re x, achievement is y?” Well, the game [ITALICS: Drowning in Problems] is a text-based game that takes you through the very same thing. You go through a lifetime of experience and accumulate attributes that see you through to the next stage of your life. Even though it’s kind of contrived and corny (to progress from being a teenager you need to experience “two broken hearts”), it’s also kinda poignant. Idk, it made me introspective. Also, in a gaming world where too much attention is paid to ‘graphics’ and ‘worlds’ and too little to gameplay, the minimal design and text-heaviness, which is reminiscent of the fantastic [Ace Attorney series, is a refreshing burst. Recommend. h t t p :// g a m e . n otc h . n e t / d r ow n i n g /#

By Philip McSweeney

Conspiracy Corner “T he M ores

of

P erception ”

By Incognito Montoya

D

espite their commonplace use in society, drugs will always be seen as a mysterious ‘other’, simultaneously fraught with wonder and danger. Nonetheless, it is no secret that the first-time user tends to be a Columbus to the mysterious continent of drug culture; you may think you’ve hit on something new, but in truth, many, many people got there before you. But you wouldn’t know it, because of the necessity to keep it secret. And as most users know, necessity quickly turns into habit.

The conspiracy I see weaved about drug culture is how often drug users perpetuate the mystery behind something they want to see made mundane and non-stigmatised.

Unfortunately, this cannot be helped. There are those who legitimately want to obtain their vegetable or mineral of choice legally without wasting 20 questions on the dealer, but the public perception, even among those who are sympathetic, continues to be marred

FOOD

Be st plac e s to bru nc h

By Eve Kennedy

TH E SWEET S COOP

W

With Julia Wells

Pean u t Bu t t er C hocolat e Ch ip Cooki e s

I

think that these actually might be my favourite cookies ever. Which is definitely saying something. I’m a very fussy biscuit eater; I don’t like cookies to be too crispy, and they definitely can’t be too dry. They need a good flavour as well: great as sugar and flour are, a biscuit that tastes of nothing else is one that I can happily pass by.

Luckily, these win on all those counts. They have very little flour, and so deliver an intense peanut-butter flavour which goes far beyond what you’d find in most peanut-butter cookies.

I love the slightly chewy texture too. They are already dairy-free, and could easily be made gluten-free. They are also extremely easy to make – you don’t need to chill the dough, or roll anything out, or even cream butter and sugar. Also, if you eat them hot out of the oven, the chocolate chips are still melty. Heaven.

METHOD Preheat the oven to 180°C. Mix the peanut butter together with the vanilla essence and egg until smooth. Mix in the sugar, and then the flour. Finally, mix the chocolate chips into the dough until evenly distributed. By now, the dough should be very stiff, and will probably require mixing by hand rather than a fork.

Mould the dough into disc shapes the size you want the cookies to be (they won’t spread or rise much) and place on greased trays. Bake until golden brown (about 10–15 minutes).

Leave on trays to firm for a few minutes, then transfer onto a wire rack to cool. Or just eat them.

1 cup peanut butter ½ cup brown sugar ½ cup white sugar ¼ cup white flour ½ teaspoon vanilla essence 1 egg ¾ cup chocolate chips

hether you’re having brunch in preparation for a big weekend, or a brunch on a Sunday after a big weekend, brunch is always a good time, and Wellington has a long list of great places to brunch, not all of which I can list here.

My top five, in no particular order: Nikau:The staff are pleasant and attentive without being annoying. The food is definitely on the pricey side, but it’s delicious. The menus change frequently to take advantage of seasonal produce. The coffee is good and their alcohol range is impressive (try the “lighthouse gin & aquina fina tonic”). The décor is simple but elegant. The location, nestled inside City Gallery, is handy to city amenities but without the hustle and bustle.

Scopa: Worth trying for the hot chocolate alone, if you haven’t already. Simpler food than Nikau but larger portions and lower prices: head here if you’re looking for a fancy take on classic brunch food.

Floriditas: Great décor, good coffee and the staff are always friendly. Avoid if you don’t like eggs; but if you do, it’s a go-to, especially as the eggs and bacon are free-range. My dad told me he’d disown me if I didn’t include Floriditas on my list.

Duke Carvell’s: Tucked down Swan Lane, Duke’s is where I go with my dad if Floriditas is full. My way to test a brunch place is to order the classic vegetarian meal: here it’s the Vege Dawn, and it’s very good. They have a special brunch cocktail list too, which is pretty special.

Prefab: Modern, spacious, reasonably priced, with very accommodating chefs (my mother was doing a ridiculous low-sugar, lowgluten, dairy-free pescetarian diet when we came here last and they could still feed her).

Mushrooms on toast is my go-to.

Highly commended: Pranah, Monterey (both in Newtown), the Hangar, Sweet Mother’s, Maranui Cafe (Lyall Bay), Fidel’s, Olive, Caffe L’affare, Arthur’s on Cuba.

COLUMN

BE ING W E L L

M AORI M AT T ERS

Prescription Drugs – Use or Abuse?

“What is a drug?”

A

T

t Student Health, we commonly see patients in various degrees of distress. The combined stressors of study, jobs and relationships can lead to poor sleep, anxiety, low mood, and depression. There are often negative consequences on study – with poor concentration and fatigue leading to slipping grades.

Although most patients don’t ask for medication during stressful times, some do – and very often their request will be turned down. The drugs available that can help in these situations carry with them some serious negative effects, that can far outlast any benefit they may bring.

The groups of drugs we are talking about include: • Benzodiazepines: Commonly known as ‘benzos’, this group of drugs includes temazepam, diazepam (Valium), and lorazepam.

Benzos work on the GABA receptors in the brain, creating a calming effect. Patients describe sleepiness, anxiety reduction and muscle relaxation when they take benzos – the effects can last from a few hours to almost a day, depending on which drug is used.

• Zopiclone (Imovane): Also works by increasing levels of GABA in the brain. Zopiclone is prescribed as a night sedative, for people who have insomnia.

• Methylphenidate (known as Ritalin/Rubifen): It is actually a stimulant of the central nervous system. It helps to focus attention and shut out distraction. It is used to treat ADHD, and occasionally a rare sleep disorder called narcolepsy. If used correctly, it can restore an inattentive person’s functioning to expected normal levels.

Although benzodiazepines and zopiclone can be helpful when used correctly, they are highly addictive, and regular use over as little as two to four weeks can result in dependence and problems withdrawing. Regular use may also lead to an exacerbation of your original symptoms, meaning you may feel worse than before you took them. Because of this risk, doctors are loathe to prescribe them other than in very short courses. They can interact with other drugs, including alcohol and antidepressants, with unpredictable and dangerous results, and accidental overdose can result in respiratory depression and death.

Methylphenidate is similarly dangerous when used without a prescription. Taking too much will result in a hazardous amphetamine-like effect, and can bring on serious psychiatric effects, similar to those seen in acute schizophrenia.

Although medications clearly have a place, abuse of prescription drugs is not a smart option. Abuse includes: • Taking more of a drug, or more often, than prescribed; • Using the drug for a condition other than one it was prescribed to treat; • Using someone else’s drugs; • Giving/selling your prescribed medication to someone else.

Abuse carries huge risks. There are always other choices, and safer longterm medication is available.

If you are concerned that you or someone you know has been abusing medication, talk to someone at Student Health, or contact the Community Alcohol Drug Service on (04) 845 1818 or http://www.cads.org.nz/.

By Cathy Stephenson 40

the drugs issue

he Collins Dictionary would answer: “A drug is a medicine or other substance which has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body”; and this is only one of many explanations of the word ‘drug’. Our aunty Google tells us that drugs can range from the smallest of good things to the biggest of worst things.

We tauira can identify with most of these substances: like coffee the night before your exam, your morning Red Bull two hours before an assignment is due, getting OTP celebrating anything or nothing, dope, and lastly, synthetic highs. Even though none of us have ever taken any illegal drugs or substances *cough, cough*, and joke about those funny times, it is a serious issue that negatively impacts many whānau and communities. Regardless of the city or town you go to, there is always the underlying assumption that Māori are the common users, or overusers, of these illegal substances. Ka mau te wehi! What a load of crap! Yes, “meowris” are users, but so are the rest of the Pākeha population; yet we are more often than not in the spotlight, especially when it comes to media information or, rather, misinformation.

Illegal highs versus legal highs?

It doesn’t really make sense nē rā? Here in Aotearoa, but not for much longer, we have dangerous legal highs such as synthetic cannabis a.k.a. K2, Kronic and Spice. Even though it clearly states on the packaging, “WARNING: NOT SAFE for human consumption”, people of Aotearoa clearly still go out and buy this stuff. Would it make a difference if it stated: “HIGHLY ADDICTIVE and KILLS RELATIONSHIPS… but it’s okay because it’s man-made and the Government does not mind us selling it to you for now”?

The side effects of these drugs are endless, from delayed reaction to severe paranoia and psychosis. I read an article in the newspaper about a 19-year-old who had a baby and was on the benefit smoking at least $20 worth of synthetic highs a day. This is tragic: what is left for the tamariki? Do they go to kura without food?

But now, from 6 May, these legal highs will gain an ‘il’ in front, thanks to our beehived government opening both eyes on such an out-of-control product. What does this mean for the makers, manufacturers, middlemen and small stores that are selling these drugs? Will they begin to operate underground to ensure their business is still booming through the roof? Will this mean our rangatahi hustling their way through the gangs to get their hit for the day?

Let’s wait and see what will happen in the next few years. Mauri Ora whānau!

By Te Po Hawaikirangi Phone: (04) 463 9762 Email: ngaitauira@vuw.ac.nz

COLUMN

Th e I n tr epid VC Gu i l for d

P

etersen, is this thing on? *Sound of dictaphone being dropped* God damn it. Don’t write that down, Petersen. Right. Time to get started. It has come to my a-tent-shun that stories about my dayto-day espionage into the student body were leaked to this publeecay-shun. I’ve been assured the man responsible has been dealt with, sent to the slaughterhouse in a figurative manner, and that I could get my own column in it. At first I was told this thing had a circlay-shun of 16,000! Then Petersen pointed out that ack-shu-lee they only print about five-thous-or-so copies, so I’m presuming each flat has a copy next to the shitter or something and you take turns doin’ the crossword. But anyway – enough of that. I want to dispense some of my philos-phy and loife advice, so to speak. Being the drugs issue and all that, I will admit I’m coming down from a bit of the cactus tea I brewed earlier (goddamn rank, let me tell you), but bear with me.

You know, they say no one is ever really themselves. Before that, they were telling everyone to just be themselves, which was bloody daft ‘cause no one really knew who their self was. Now the trouble was, there was a period there where everyone thought that everyone else was being themselves except them. Y’got that, Petersen?

So all you students go around thunking: if I’m not being myself, I better be someone, or else they’ll say, “He’s not being himself ”; so who shall I be? A mess, I’ll grant you (no pun intended).

People start saying all sorts of things to disguise this inconsistency, like, “There are many roles to play,” or, “I’m at the time of my life when….”

The thing is, when everyone is being everyone else: it gets out. So now eventually, people are slowly admittin’ that they really weren’t being themselves, so could we all just make it the thing-to-say that everyone was pretending to be somebody else, at least most of the time.

I once knew a man with a ‘fuck the police’ tattoo. On his face. Sure as hell no one was trying to be him, and who exactly was he tryin’ to be? Guess he was the human equivalent of an imaginary number: he shouldn’t technically exist, yet there he is. I wish all the best to you kids tryin’ to figure out what the bloody hell you’re meant to be or whether thinking things like that is even consist-unt with the image you have of yaselves.

SON YA SAYS

L

ike many of you, I was shocked when I heard over Easter that a series of sexual assaults on women had occurred by BoydWilson Field, following an attempted attack just a few weeks earlier.

Messages and media calls have flooded in, asking who is to blame and what will be done to change it. It’s fair to say that this news has really rocked the Victoria community, especially Te Puni residents who depend on the path for access between their Hall and town.

Unfortunately, people have been attacked here before, and students, including VUWSA, have raised concerns about this badly lit pathway for a really long time. A lot needs to happen, and quickly.

Change is afoot. Last Thursday, I met with the University. We agreed that a number of options would be investigated, from panic buttons and emergency towers to maintaining the safe van, and looking at University-based community watch programmes, and walking groups. We also agreed that a whole lot of smaller things needed to happen – from making sure students were made more aware of the security toll-free numbers (so you can text someone the moment you notice the light out, or someone hanging around) to a workshop with students, the University and the Wellington City Council so that the broader issues of safety in Wellington can be addressed – it’s not just one pathway that makes people uneasy at night.

These are good steps. But the major thing that must change is that one organisation needs to take care of maintaining the Boyd-Wilson pathway – the land has often been in dispute. Action has been slow when Victoria has to talk to the Council who has to talk to the residents and the School. Last year some lighting was improved, but there shouldn’t have to be a meeting every time a light breaks or the trees grow back. This is a broader problem – the University needs to make sure everyone knows who to email or text when a light is out on campus. This stuff is super-basic. One contact is needed.

Finally, a lot of the messaging has focussed on what students, especially women, should do to keep themselves safe at night – we are told to not walk alone, to use a safety app, or take a taxi.

Sticking with friends, using safety apps and taking a taxi are really good things, but it is important to remember that ‘dodgy pathways’ do not cause assaults. People do. This means that it is never ever the fault of the victim. We’re pleased that the University is taking steps to talk to the Sexual Abuse Prevention Network about better education in this area.

Jesus Bloody Christ, Petersen; I just looked in the mirror and I think I met myself for the first time. I seem to have developed some tā moko.

Don’t hesitate to send me an email telling me your thoughts.

Kia kaha,

By Hugo McKinnon

Sonya Clark M: 027 563 6986 | DDI: (04) 463 6986 | E: sonya.clark@vuw. ac.nz | W: www.vuwsa.org.nz editor@salient.org.nz

41

COLUMN

History That Has n ’t Happe ned Ye t Weeding Out the Drug Argument: Because History is Dope.

D

42

Friday afternoons from 3pm - close the drugs issue

rugs, in many ways, are non-discerning things. They span time, class, gender, age and race. They remain regardless of what a wider society is projecting as ‘right’, what is ‘addictive’, and what is medically helpful. What defines the relationship between licit and illicit drugs? A person can take anti-depressants everyday, and it’s not frowned upon in the same way taking another mind-altering substance might be. In 1900, people could walk into respectable chemists in Britain and ask for cannabis, cocaine, morphine, heroin and hallucinogens over the counter. Before substances were attached to tropes, they were simply substances. Indeed, before heroin conjured up stereotypes of trainspotter Glaswegians with flaky skin and junkie vibes, and before cocaine embodied images of rich kids, glass tables, Daddy’s credit card and a lot of ‘80s white, these drugs had no tropes. They were associated with medication, as legal means for alleviating ailments.

More than this, drugs are indicative of shifting industries. They are products. Products of British merchant ships introducing opium into China in the 1840s and starting a war; of Mexican drug cartels transporting marijuana, heroin and cocaine after prohibition ended in the US in the 1930s; of pharmaceutical giants like Pfizer that have been around since the 1800s (but were still reportedly able to cause the death and deformity of numerous Nigerian children in 1996 with trials of an experimental form of trovafloxacin).

It makes me wonder if there is so much fear about drugs not just for what they supposedly do to people’s health and mental wellbeing, but because it is still so unknown what their place should be in society.

Indeed, the War on Drugs is always just as much of a class, race and gender issue as it is about the drugs themselves. The difference isn’t the drugs. It’s the alienation of people taking them. If you were taking morphine on a regular basis in 1900s London, people wouldn’t have cared nearly as much as they do now, with our concerns with selfmedication and the dangers of addiction.

If we were to strip away all the taboo and rhetoric that is associated with substances, what is really the problem or issue at the heart of it?

What does the drugs argument actually represent? Did it represent a trade-off for Native Americans of a land being colonised in Canada like alcohol did? Did it represent the business interests of a patent company, like it did in 1900s Britain to eventually regularise the use of the drugs discussed above? What is at the real core of the drugs debate? Because it is not that little bag of marijuana buds. It’s much much bigger.

by Nicola Braid

COLUMN

S h i rt & Sw e e t your weekly column on how to be annoyed but still cute.

Y

ou and I are both sorry to be back here. You can’t fool me. I’m tired and hungover and you are too. The break wasn’t long enough, we didn’t do enough drugs, there wasn’t enough sun, there was too much interpersonal fuckery and everything is just a bit more shit than it should be. We can’t do anything about this. And we don’t have to.

Having a life that’s a bit shit is top-notch fodder. It’s important to have annoyances so that you can be annoyed. Otherwise, you’re just expending all your energy on being cute and no one’s winning there.

Anyway, the point is drugs. Drugs can be difficult, but I’m looking out for you and it’s important to me that you know: How to keep it cute and shirty when you’re tripping your face off and one of your arms might actually be significantly longer than the other one.

F

irst up is prep for the trip. You’ll want to have already eaten a good substantial meal and you’ll want to make sure you’ve got some buddies and a safe place. You’ll need to not be wearing that much clothing, and you will also need some face paint and those stick-on jewel things (you can do the vajazzling thing that we talked about too if you’re into that). The sparklier and more pastel-coloured, the better.

When you feel like the minor deity of ‘fuckyeahpretty’, that probably means you’re good to go. Take a photo of yourself with drugs on your tongue, post it on Tumblr, harvest notes and enjoy your trip.

Once it hits you, remember that objects in the rear-view mirror are almost certainly cuter than they appear, but if possible, just avoid mirrors altogether. Instead, take yourself into The Outside. Nature is your friend. Seek out ditches. Lie in them and look at the stars. Talk very fast to other people about how excellent said stars are right now.

Talk very fast to other people about the fact that you’re tripping. Be obnoxious. If people seem worried about you, refuse assistance and repeatedly affirm that you’re fine. (Please only do this if you actually are fine though. If you’re not fine, nothing is cuter or shirtier than asking for what you need and being looked after. ILY stay safe always.)

Recruit people to come on Expeditions with you. Do anything and everything that you think you want. If you change your mind, stop.

Look at things that are pretty. Tell them how pretty they are. Tell everyone how pretty all of the things are. Be pretty. Be pretty and cute and better than everyone else because you probably gave birth to the Universe and the Universe is definitely in love with you and the Moon obviously orbits around you despite the commonly held misconception that it orbits the Earth.

OVERS E E N AT VIC CALEB Third-Year Psychology and Sociology What is your biggest regret? Not attempting to grow a moustache earlier, ‘cause it gets girls.

By Eleanor Merton editor@salient.org.nz

43

420

BY P H O E B E MORRIS

Prints available. See more of her work at cargocollective.com/ phoebemorrisillustration.

editor@salient.org.nz

45

If

MUSIC

y o u wa n t to w r i t e a b o u t

t h e a rt s , o r t h i n k t h e r e i s

something we should review, e m a i l a rt s @ s a l i e n t . o r g . n z .

ARTS 10 Songs about drugs

by Elise Munden

Iggy Azalea – The New Classic Album Review by Gou negative

Subtle songs ‘Happiness is a Warm Gun’ – The Beatles ‘Mojo Pin’ – Jeff Buckley ‘Gold Dust Woman’ – Fleetwood Mac ‘Hotel California’ – The Eagles ‘Morning Glory’ – Oasis

Obvious songs

H

ip-hop is a genre of music that is based heavily upon authenticity, and Iggy Azalea is one of the least authentic artists to ever try to enter it.

The album touches upon three cornerstone topics – where she’s come from (“16 in the middle of Miami”, yeah, got it), her beef with the industry and her beef with her enemies, who tend to be women of colour. Iggy Azalea manages to dedicate a whopping 15 songs to what, in the hands of someone who has experienced a life worth writing about, would

‘Cocaine’ – Eric Clapton ‘Heroin’ – The Velvet Underground ‘Amphetamine’ – Everclear ‘Marijuana’ – Kid Cudi ‘Lithium’ – Nirvana Rest in Peace, DJ Rashad

Kerosene Comic Book – The 420 Tape II Mixtape Review by Henry Cooke

K

erosene Comic Book (KCB) is not a band, or a label – they’re a collective; more a consistent brand than a consistent lineup. Think Tumblr, in-jokes, Drakeworship and drugs. KCB know who they are now, and this is possibly their best tape yet.

Aptly titled, this is the kind of thing you

46

the drugs issue

normally be complex and interesting issues.

Consequently, The New Classic feels about 13 songs too long.

‘Fancy’ hits all of the gooey pop centres in your brain, and remains a fairly easy song to sing while drunk. ‘Work’ lacks both the goo and the sing-ability, but still manages to achieve single status with some heavily compressed vocals and that super-catchy snare. One song that managed to stand on its own was ‘100’, featuring Watch the Duck, a three-piece band from Atlanta who are actually pretty great and, I’m guessing, wholly responsible for the amazing chorus.

Iggy’s rapping still sounds suspiciously sped up.

One major unexpected disappointment was ‘Change Your Life’: don’t let T.I. get your hopes up for this one. He remains a truly terrible mentor past his prime.

It took me about five hours to make it through this album. Don’t put yourself through the same. put on as the afternoon wears its way into the evening. On my fourth listen through, I still find myself staring out the window while the clouds change and the birds flirt, ignoring the emails from my editor and thousands of assignments I should be starting. But I’m getting ahead of myself. This is electronic music, mostly instrumental, always warm.

Often there is reverb, clicks, bubbling, incomprehensible vocal samples. Sometimes there are stuttering drums, sometimes there are old karate-film samples – because while there is no rapping here, you can feel hiphop’s influence throughout. We get very dancey, but very introspective too.

KCB’s sound is consistent enough for them to feel like a musical collective, rather than just a geographic/social one, even if, as member Skymning says, they are all in “the same age bracket in the same country”. While spanning genres of electronic music, there is a certain feel maintained here, one that makes this a hard tape to put on for a single song and then turn off. Of course, there are highlights here – particularly Career Girls’ ‘#00FFFF’ (a colour code for light aqua) and Race Banyon/ Eskimo Eyes’ ‘The Way That I Do’ – but this is cohesive enough to be listened to as a whole, not just mined for keepers.

FILM

IN REVIEW T H E LEGO M OV IE

Reviewed by Charlotte Doyle

T

he world is surely brainwashed. This movie can do absolutely no wrong. Rotten Tomatoes has given it a score of 96%.

‘Everything Is Awesome’ is widely considered to be one of the most hilarious yet philosophical yet stupid theme songs like ever. It seamlessly bridges the maturity gap between adults and children, flying high with Batman puns and an underhand satire of our blind belief in neoliberalism. It’s the best animated film to hit Hollywood. It’s the best film of 2014. It’s possibly the best movie in the history of all cinema. Long live Lego, the bricks with little circles on top, and remarkable branding.

It is a completely insane experience. Like a neurotic kid on a sugar high the pace borders on manic. The characters are ridiculous. Unikitty, a cat with a horn and negativity suppressing personality disorder. Emmet, the mistake of a star whose only original thought in his drab, conformist lifetime is a doubledecker couch. The pirate scenes are irritating. President Business was an evil guy with an evil scheme that bores you because he is so obviously evil. Abraham Lincoln makes an appearance, Morgan Freeman’s voice is beautiful as always and I have to say that Batman voiced by Will Arnett is so batty you never want him to leave the frame. It so poignantly reflects the imagination and the unlimited free licence Lego itself gives its users. You are left exhausted and overloaded yet somehow satisfied. Movies of its kind, i.e. for kids, are often so boringly sensible in chasing the worthy goal of teaching important life lessons. The Lego Movie is fantastically overwhelmingly ludicrous, just like our imaginations should be.

A cup of coffee in this Legoworld costs $37. In the beginning, Emmet is paralysed into being dull and ordinary by following the instruction manual, literally, to the letter. He watches that one TV show that everyone watches Where Are My Pants?; listens to that one song everyone listens to; and thinks everything is unfailingly awesome without question. You can’t miss this movie’s blatant satirical stab at our capitalist culture and global obsession with economic conformity. Slightly ironic since Lego is most certainly capitalising the profit-making potential of this film (a sequel is already planned, video game already released, plus the usual hordes of useless merchandise) but it’s refreshing to finally have a

mainstream critique of our mainstream culture.

Upon first seeing the trailer last year, someone in the cinema behind me scoffed: “What is this crap?” Though he didn’t know it, I felt a bond with this stranger and felt I would never see it unless forced. An hour into watching the actual movie I considered walking out. The plot was seemingly ridiculous, the script stiff, characters annoyingly obvious and the humour… very American.

Not even the audience ten years my junior was laughing. I was writing it off as a flop. But The Lego Movie, being the sophisticated creativity fuel that it is, proved itself incredibly desirable with a twist that was hard to resist. It builds itself into a witty and strangely poignant reflection on how we control the imaginative flow of not only ourselves but those around us. I have now been endowed with the confidence to graduate from Duplo and collect sophisticated boxes of Lego which I plan to fill the rooms of my future house with. Who wants to grow up? I’m not planning on it.

Five fun facts about The Lego Movie:

1. It is Morgan Freeman’s debut in an animated film.

2. The word ‘Lego’ is never used in the movie itself.

3. One of the Legolands in the movie is called “Middle Zealand”, a “wondrous land full of knights, castles, mutton, torture weapons, poverty, leeches, illiteracy, and, um... dragons.” The hilarity of the joke, considering most Americans think our beloved land is actually Middle Earth, has been lost on some New Zealanders who have taken it upon themselves to be offended, even calling on the PM to demand an apology. He told them to harden up and see it “for what it is – a light-hearted line in a children’s fantasy film”.

4. There will be a sequel with ‘strong females’ apparently. Because the world needs them.

5. Tegan and Sara ft. the Lonely Island are to thank for the tune ‘Everything is Awesome’.

TRENDING: JOH N N Y DEPP

Johnny Depp is trending at the moment with the release of his latest movie Transcendence, as well as being called to give evidence in a murder trial for a woman who was convinced she was on her way to a date with the ‘sex-god’ when she dragged a pedestrian under her car for over a mile. Therefore, this is a prime opportunity to reflect on why the pirate attracts such high levels of attention: 1. He was once stopped in US customs with a bag full of piranhas.

2. Jams with the Black Keys to ‘Gold on the Ceiling’ on a casual basis.

3. johnnydeppsexualfrustration.tumblr.com exists.

4. He can pull off a crop top.

5. He’s successful at eyeball sex. Or so Ke$ha claims.

editor@salient.org.nz

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BOOKS

WHAT WE’RE READING Reweti, Law and Politics student

“I’m reading Jodi Picoult’s Plain Truth. She keeps me on the edge of my seat.”

IN RE V I EW Horse with Hat by Marty Smith

Margot, English and Japanese student

“I just read After the Quake, a collection of Murakami’s short stories. I’m reading the English translation alongside the Japanese version.”

Henry, Media, Politics and IR student Reviewed by Nina Powles

Dougal, English lecturer

T

his collection of autobiographical poems begins with a hat and ends with a horse. Marty Smith’s poems fill a space that, for the rest of us, might only exist in a box of family photographs. Her world is one of galloping horses and unfinished edges. The same characters are always looming, shifting in and out of the light. The quietly chaotic illustrations sometimes feel discordant, darker than the poems warrant, but they still give you something to think about.

Some people, young and old, just won’t read New Zealand poetry.

Maybe it’s cultural cringe. Maybe it’s a stubborn refusal to see anything ‘New Zealandy’ as something new and refreshing. After all, we usually read to get out of ourselves – we don’t want a book to shove us straight back home. Marty Smith’s poems may have that small-town feel, but not in a claustrophobic way. There’s no clichéd ‘snapshot of New Zealand life’ being laid out neatly. Instead, she conjures up a landscape belonging distinctly to her and the people who lived in it. Horses gallop in and out of the frame of each miragememory poem, shaking its foundations, making it feel like the memory might rush off at any second. But at the same time, Smith seems to say that seeing ourselves in terms of our relationship with horses also anchors us, tracks where we’ve been, and maps where we’re going.

Her tone is steady and natural, like we’re being let in on some casual secrets on a stroll in the back garden. Poems that grapple with the consequences of a culture of silence are more than just absorbing, they’re arresting: “If I say, my flames roar out the cracks.”

Smith’s images are commonplace but raw and close-up: there’s the fuzz of a horse’s mouth and its hot breath on your hand, a cup of tea rattling in its saucer, a bit being chomped and frothed. These poems sometimes give the impression of standing on the side of the road when a car swooshes past and you feel it shake the air in front of your face, tipping you a step backwards. This is a gutsy book of poems that gives everything it’s got.

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“Brideshead Revisited, because I never have and I enjoy rich people. Feels politically abhorrent but aesthetically excellent.”

the drugs issue

Starting Tina Makereti’s debut novel, finishing Mei Zhi’s memoirs of Hu Feng’s prison years, enjoying two new (for me) poets: Sinéad Morrissey and Caoilinn Hughes.

BOOKS WE THINK EVERYONE SHOULD READ #6

by Abi Smoker A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

T

his book relates a story between a mother and daughter. It’s set against the jarring and treacherous backdrop of Kabul, the capital of conflict-ridden Afghanistan. Outside their tumultuous relationship, the two women are often treated with violence and oppression by the men around them, and we are constantly aware of the prevalent presence of the Taliban. Mariam and Laila face obstacles threatening their own lives and the life of their country and culture. In the midst of all this brutality, relationships being broken and mended are the focal point of this novel. From the 1960s to the early 2000s, A Thousand Splendid Suns tracks a massive societal shift in Mariam and Laila’s country, but more importantly, it tracks their journey towards happiness and independence.

TELEVISION

I N R E V I EW High Maintenance

Reviewed by Michael Graham

T

his show has actually been floating about since 2012, though I was only referred to it recently, and I haven’t come across heaps who’ve seen it. Everyone should see it. Couple more things on that side of things: Sarah Silverman likes it; it’s critically acclaimed; created by 30 Rock writers. Only 3000-odd followers on Twitter, if you’re into Twitter. Who knows how many people have seen it, really. Certainly not I. Maybe it’s far more popular than the internet would have you believe. So: Web series set in New York. Isolated episodes, though with some recurring characters, which range from five to 13 minutes long.

So it’s kind of perfect if you’ve got one of those little attention spans. What happens is we meet the episode’s character/s, they do something, and at some stage The Guy gets called and he delivers the pot. Like most brief synopses, that sounds pretty shit. Not so.

Mostly unknown actors and beautiful cinematography and writing all contribute to a wonderful sense of realism, which at times exhibits great pathos but for the most part remains pretty comedic. Not laugh-out-loud funny most of the time (comedy is not the goal); the humour is instead much more organic and convincing, and therefore satisfying, in a way that, say, a sitcom might not be in the way it sets out to directly and purposefully humour you.* This is not to say the show is light all the time.

There are a couple of pretty troubling and poignant episodes – see ‘Jonathan’ in particular. An episode which, dare I say it, fits into the series as a whole with a sort of dark irony.

From a storytelling point of view, it’s actually incredible how rich such a short video can be. We’re given realism (which I keep talking about, but I suppose that’s just a phase I’m going through at the moment), and like good examples of an art form (I guess I went there…), it’s relatable regardless of whether or not

you yourself do what the characters are doing. Here, I’m not just talking about the drugs thing. There was an episode, ‘Rachel’, featuring a cross-dresser, which I thought was really fucking onpoint and awesome. I know nothing about cross-dressing, so I won’t talk about that too much more, and in fact the episode to me was more about marriage and relationships and family. Getting carried away. Point is, within 13 minutes I empathised with a character who seemed real and whole to me – someone I liked.

What else? The dialogue is probably my favourite aspect of the show, but that’s just because I’m a sucker for some sparkling conversation. As an aside: did you know that dogs can’t watch TV? Wow. The dialogue here is pretty minimalist, and in fact the whole show probably is. Given the time-restricted medium, we’re presented with something very slick and polished, though this polish is balanced by the realist conventions I forgot to mention earlier – stuff like the long takes and handheld camera.

And again, the dialogue, which utilises a lot of space and plays with stuff like characters talking over each other, etc. Outstanding characterisation.

What more else? I’m reasonably new to the web-series thing.

But the more I watch them, the more I sort of think they’re like short stories, if you’re a person who reads for fun. By that, I mean they’re these little bite-sized, scrumptious brain-snacks. I was gonna do a whole thing on that in here, but after a brief and unfortunate google it turns out that The New Yorker actually has an article on that, so you’re prob better off just going there if that line of thought interests you. I may have even stolen the idea from them after reading their article drunk and forgetting about it or something.

In summary, I’d say watch this, please. I mean I haven’t watched heaps of web series. But fuck, guys; this one is so good and it’s also pretty fun.

*I’m looking at you, Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother and friends. Not Friends, though, maybe? In fact, ignore that, I’m no expert. Not even close, mate.

editor@salient.org.nz

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VISUAL ART

HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE VIVIANE? Lexicon – Viviane Sassen City Gallery, until 15 June

by Simon Gennard

L

et’s talk about negative space. About what is said when everything else is left out. About how insisting one thing may reveal exactly what one is trying to conceal. Like, for instance, the introductory wall-text to Viviane Sassen’s current exhibition at City Gallery, in which the Dutch photographer claims she has no interest in engaging in a debate around race and the power dynamic between photographer and photographed. Let’s not talk about how a white man (me) claiming a white woman’s depiction of black bodies is problematic may be, in itself, problematic.

Lexicon’s setting is an imagined Africa. A place, that for Sassen, is informed by nostalgia; she lived in Kenya between the ages of three and five. For the viewer, however, this place is informed by every previous imagining of Africa as Other. In lieu of any concrete details of place, we are offered suggestions of latent violence – whether they be in the form of three figures in gold foil bodybags; a man face down among fishing nets; a woman in stilettos, on her knees in red dust, an arm stretched behind her back, peering into what could be a grave – somewhere foreign, somewhere almost erotic. This setting is vast and dreamlike, and to an extent, it acknowledges its own artifice.

Sassen’s background is in fashion photography; her attention to symmetry, positioning, colours that are both more vivid and subtle than in real life, are wielded here as much for seductive ends as her commercial work, only more covertly. On sale here is her own fantasy, one which simultaneously acknowledges its place among other fantasies, and tries to avoid it through appearing undeniably staged.

Lexicon was originally exhibited at 2013’s Venice Biennale, the theme for which was ‘The Encyclopedic Palace’, based on Marino Auriti’s proposal to build a museum to hold all the knowledge in the world. It seems appropriate, then, that the body here is treated as a sculptural object. Sassen’s images operate almost contrary to how photography is supposed to operate: she reveals herself through shadows. Faces are almost always obscured, either by shadow, or by objects. Bodies are contorted; sometimes limp, sometimes angular. Often, they hang off one another in embrace, implying an intimacy denied to the viewer. The cataloguing of knowledge requires a distinction, between those classifying and classified. At one end of the gallery, Alain Resnais and Chris Marker’s 1953 film Statues Also Die plays on a loop. The film begins as an examination of items in the Musée de l’Homme’s anthropological collection, eventually launching into a seething attack on French colonialism. It is difficult to interpret whether the film acts

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as provocation or exoneration.

The film, though it contributes to a reading perhaps not intended by Sassen herself, reminds the viewer that images, once disseminated, cease to exist within the consciousness of the artist, and intent does not necessarily determine execution. Sassen’s images exist within a lineage of representations of the black body. A lineage which has, for the most part, neglected representations of black subjects. Historically, colour photography has proven itself insufficient and unwilling to represent images of black subjects.

Syreeta McFadden, in an interview with NPR, explains that for most of the 20th century, film manufacturers operated with a “wilful obliviousness” in relation to how best render black skin. Kodak issued developers with an image of a “pale, white-skinned woman [with] dark hair” as a means of metering skin tone. The default mode of recognition for colour photography quickly became a white one because the market demanded it. Black skin was washed out, or erased, with a consistent lack of tonal variation. This persisted, in part, because the people using the film assumed “they [weren’t] very good photographers”.

Sassen’s working method is more advanced: she shoots on a digital Mamiya 6×7; her colouring is arresting; her concern, foremost, is for the effective rendering of black skin. Her problem is one of figuration. Kerry James Marshall, in a recent interview with frieze, discusses the persisting neglection of black subjects in art. In part, it is market-driven. Black populations have, historically, been excluded from the art market, and in terms of the contemporary landscape, Marshall states: “Abstraction … is more easily commodified than figurative work.” Consumers are less interested in figurative work; the body as subject has expired its purpose, unless the body is turned into an object of fascination. In a way, Sassen’s photographs occupy a liminal space between figurative and abstract representation. From this position, it is difficult to tell whether her models exist for their potential as sculptural objects, and are thus denied subjectivity, or whether the subjects control the space within the photograph, in hiding themselves from the viewer – in placing the viewer in an uncomfortable position between seeing and not seeing. In Sassen’s insistence on their own artifice, however, we are reminded that we see exactly what the photographer wants us to see; and this vision, of the black body as an exotic object, as strategically removed from a discernable location, is one we’ve seen before, and we are right to be wary.

1964 Brazilian military coup.

WHATS ON BOOKS POETRY SLAM! 7 May, 7.30 pm at Meow. Get there early to sign up for the slam or open mic.

Rackets 10 May, Puppies, $9, 9 pm Rackets are fucking sweet.

Notable releases 8 May - Bad Neighbours: Seth Rogen meets Zac Efron - Chef: lead actor Jon Favreau starts up a food truck alongside a star-studded cast including Scarlett Johansson and Robert Downey Jr.

THEATRE The NZ International Comedy Festival is in Wellington until the end of this week (18 May). Head to [ITALICS: http://www. comedyfestival.co.nz/wellington/shows] to see what’s on and grab some tickets.

MUSIC

FILM The fifth Reel Brazil Film Festival 8–18 May Paramount Theatre Selection of 11 films ranging from features to documentaries.

Adult ticket $15.90.

In conjunction with the festival, there is a Fiesta at Havana Bar on Sunday 10 May at 10 pm, $5. Also, a mini market selling Brazilian products in the Paramount foyer on 10, 11, 17 and 18 May. Wellington Film Society The Day that Lasted 21 Years – Mon 12th, 6.15 pm, Paramount. Exposition of the

The Neo Hot Jive Orchestra 5 May, Meow, $Koha, 9 pm Neo! Hot! Jive! Orchestra! Just look at all of those words.

D.R.I. 7 May, Bodega, $45, 7.30 pm #staydri The Acacia Strain 8 May, Valhalla, $40, 8 pm #staycore #stayacacia

VISUAL ARTS Talia Smith in conversation with Emma Ng LT2, Faculty of Architecture & Design, 139 Vivian St, Wednesday 7 May, 5.30 pm (Talia’s current exhibition at Enjoy ends 10 May) Artist Response City Gallery, Friday 9 May, 1 pm, free entry Wellington-based artist Maddie Leach responds to the work of Simon Starling.

Tommy Ill + Alphabethead 9 May, Puppies, $10, 9 pm Puppies will be gone soon!

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If you want to get

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PUZZLES

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Across 1. Forsake; without restraint. (7) 5. Orange flavouring/food colouring. (7) 9. A set or class of people. (3) 10. Muslim season of daylight fasting. (7) 11. Up to a certain point in time. (5) 12. Adolescent skin condition.

(4) 14. Highest adult male singing voice. (4) 15. Spinning wheel on a string.

(2-2) 16. Dark greenish blue. (4) 18. Character in Greek legend who flew too high. (6) 21. Understand; measurement of ocean depth. (6) 23. South African farmer with Dutch heritage. (4) 25. Pierce with a sharp object.

(4) 27. Require. (4) 28. Grand, heroic, historical narrative. (4) 33. Christian charity worker (slang); barrage of gunfire. (5) 34. Ancient; outmoded. (7) 35. Porcine creature; refuse to share. (3) 36. Ban on publishing till a preset time. (7)

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37. Defining characteristic or element. (7) Down 1. Walking alongside of. (7) 2. Abbreviated term for management. (5) 3. Clothing (slang); useless items. (4) 4. Degrees in a right angle (6) 5. Read quickly; lightly touch a surface. (4) 6. Dispute, often between family members. (4) 7. Old red train on Sydney Transit; venomous snake. (7) 8. Column in Trafalgar Square.

(7) 13. Dry. (4) 17. Historical period. (3) 19. Open backed working vehicle. (3) 20. Paramedic (slang). (4) 21. Refinement; flair. (7) 22. 1950s sci-fi featuring a giant amorphous alien. (3,4) 24. Use a second time. (7) 26. Medically sort into degrees of severity. (6) 29. Shrimp-like marine crustacean. (5) 30. Old North African person; open heathland. (4) 31. Sound reflection. (4) 32. Divisions of a play. (4)

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PUZZLES

Quiz 1. ‘Brownstone’, ‘skag’ and ‘smack’ are nicknames for which drug?

2. Which Latin American country became the first in the world to legalise the sale, cultivation and distribution of marijuana last year?

3. What is ‘lysergic acid diethylamide’ usually abbreviated as?

A reliable cheap and convenient link between Lambton Quay and Victoria University’s Kelburn Campus.

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4. How many people die from overdosing on marijuana each year in New Zealand?

5. True or false: the coca leaf, used in the production of cocaine, is legally cultivated in several South American countries.

6. What special ingredient did Jesse Pinkman often add to his meth in Breaking Bad? 7. Bark from which part of the ‘iboga’ tree is used for its psychedelic effects by members of a central-African religion called ‘Bwiti’?

8. According to UN estimates, which country produces 82 per cent of the world’s opium?

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9. By what name is the method of smoking marijuana using hot knives known?

Womens cut/blowdry $60 Mens cut $45

10. Chewing betel nut causes one’s mouth to turn what colour?

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1. Heroin 2. Uruguay 3. LSD 4. ZERO 5. True 6. Chilli powder 7.

The roots 8. Afghanistan 9. ‘Spotting’ or ‘spots’ 10. Red

Vic OE – Vic Student Exchange Programme

Why not study overseas as part of your degree?!

Study in English, earn Vic credit, get StudyLink and grants, explore the world!

Weekly seminars on Wednesdays, Level 2, Easterfield Building, 12.50 pm NEXT DEADLINE: 16 JULY for Tri 1, 2015 exchanges!

Website: http://victoria.ac.nz/exchange Visit us: Level 2, Easterfield Building Drop-in hours: Mon–Wed 1–3 pm, Thurs & Fri 10 am – 12 pm

2014/15 Internships and Graduate Jobs!

Applications closing soon: Organisations: Closing date DairyNZ: 7 May ANZ: 11 May The Boston Consulting Group: 12 May Opus International Consultants: 14 May Anderson Creagh Lai: 16 May Frucor Beverages: 16 May GHD: 22 May Tonkin & Taylor: 23 May Murray & Co: 30 May Motu Economic and Public Policy Research Trust (Māori): 1 Jun Deutsche Bank: 24 Jul Upcoming free Careers events for all students ANZ – 5 May Japan Research Student Scholarship – 8 May

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the drugs issue

Careers in Focus seminar series Law: Working in the Corporate World – 7 May Law: Overseas Postgraduate in Law – 20 May Check details/book on CareerHub: www. victoria.ac.nz/careerhub

SUPERCHARGE YOUR CAREER!

giveaways KNOCK KNOCK GIVEAWAY The NZ International Comedy Festival is on til 24 April to 18 May. Go and catch a show. Details at www. comedyfestival.co.nz.

Salient has tickets to one of the comedy shows, The Bakery Presents: Tighty Whiteys. With their award winning formula of sketch, song, dance, and showing too much of their bodies, Sproull & Parker are set to take things to the ‘nek’ level. To win double passes to the show, send your best joke to us at editor@salient. org.nz.

JOIN US 54

Campus Careers Expo – 15 May ICT Careers Expo – 16 May Fisher & Paykel – 16 May

The Business and Investment Club (BIC, www.bic.org.nz) invites you to the Bloomberg Aptitude Testing event (BAT), which will help you discover your strengths in the business and finance industry. It has been taken by more than 170,000 students worldwide, and after completion it will offer you suitable internships and graduate positions at many global companies and career-development opportunities all around the world. This is a very unique chance to kick-start your career! The two-hour online test is free and takes place on Monday 12 May, 4.30 pm @ RWW415 (Railway West Wing, Pipitea Campus). RSVP is essential: info@bic.org.nz.

Cable Car Closed

The Cable Car will be closed for its annual safety inspection and survey from 9am on Wednesday 14 May and will reopen again on Monday 19 May at 7am. A replacement bus service will operate – see website and Facebook for bus times.

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contributors editors: Duncan McLachlan & Cameron Price d e s i g n e r : I m o g e n Te m m news editor: Sophie Boot c r e at i v e e d i t o r : C h l o e Dav i e s c h i e f s u b - e d i t o r : N i c k Fa r g h e r distributor: Joe Morris f e at u r e w r i t e r : P h i l i p M c S w e e n e y ( c h i e f ) , P e n n y G a u lt , Alex Hollis w e b e d i t o r : D e x t e r E d wa r d s n e w s i n t e r n s : S i m o n D e n n i s , S t e p h Tr e n g r o v e arts editors: Nina Powles (Books), Charlotte Doyle (Film), H e n r y C o o k e ( M u s i c ) , R o s e C a n n ( Th e a t r e ) , S i m o n G e n n a r d ( Vi s u a l A r t s ) , E l i s e M u n d e n ( Fa s h i o n ) , M i c h a e l G r a h a m ( Te l e v i s i o n ) general contributors: L e i g h Ba r r, H i l a ry B e at t i e , N i c o l a B r a i d , S o n ya C l a r k , G o u , M i c h a e l G r a h a m , Te P o H a w a i k i r a n g i , C l a u d i a J a r d i n e , E v e K e n n e d y , Wa y n e K e r r , M o l l y M c C a r t h y , Jordan McCluskey, Hugo McKinnon, Eleanor Merton, Gus Mitchell, Mac Money, Ollie Neas, Jamie Neikrie, Sam Northcott, Alice Peacock, Ollie Ritchie, Abi S m o k e r , C a t h y S t e p h e n s o n , A S t o n e d G o a t , Th o m a s t h e D a n k E n g i n e , W i l b u r To w n s e n d , J u l i a We l l s

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the drugs issue