Issue 16 - Freaky Friday by Salient

CROSSWORD 1.0

POEM

NEWS

YOUNG MATT'S POLITICS

ROSTRA'S HOT TAKES

NGĀI TAUIRA

PROBING THE PUNTERS TWEETS OF THE WEEK

SWAT

SIMPLY SUSTAINABLE

LETTERS

LIQUID KNOWLEDGE

THIS WEEK IN NUMBERS

DREAM DIAGNOSIS

MUSIC

I WOULD LIKE TO PREFACE THAT I'M NO PSYCHOLOGY EXPERT

FOOD

? FIT THE PUMPS I WALK IN

BOOKS

? DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE KOOL-AID

PODCAST

? RANDOM AUDIT

FASHION

? PROCRASTINATION

Editor Kii Small editor@salient.org.nz

Advertising Josephine Dawson advertising@vuwsa.org.nz

Illustrators Monique Thorp (Designer) Yoon Hong Brittany Harrison designer@salient.org.nz

Feature Writers Callum Turnbull R Fielden Julia Lawson

News Section Jami Kerrigan, Finn Blackwell, Sophie Dixon, Johnny O'Hagan Brebner

FM Station Managers Jazz Kane Navneeth Nair

Contributors Fin Johnson, Melany Tonin, Caitlin Hicks, Kirsty Frame, Matthew Casey, Alex Walker, Finn Holland, Tom White, Nina Weir, Puck, Celina Monkhouse, Janne Song, Sally Ward, Emma Maguire

News Editor Johnny O’Hagan Brebner news@salient.org.nz Sub Editor Janne Song subeditor@salient.org.nz Social Media Callum Turnbull socialmedia@salient.org.nz

TV Producers Monique Thorp Joseph Coughlan Centrefold Yoon Hong

AHHHHHH, FREAK OUT!

LAST WEEK'S SOLUTION

Be sure to tune into the first words of the starred entries.

ACROSS

DOWN

1. Be the first to go beyond peaceful protest, maybe (6,1,4) * 7. Smash into; animal found in the Zodiac (3) 9. Sticky gum-tree resin used in some soaps (10,3) * 10. Response you're meant to write in here (6) 13. Musical composition that often has four sections (8) 16. Lucky charms that occur at about a 0.02% frequency (4-4,7) * 17. Opposition; character Jones from Good Omens (8) 21. Greek god with winged sandals; fashion brand (6) 26. "Say goodbye to that old dude; this is me now!" (2,1,7,3) * 27. Erode (3) 28. Set of cards featuring the figures at the end of the answers to the starred clues (5,6)

1. Only Zodiac sign that isn't represented by a living creature (5) 2. Uses an alternative to a taxi, probably (5) 3. Use an alternative vehicle to a car (5) 4. Rod found in a car or a taxi (4) 5. Hint at, obviously but indirectly (5) 6. <sigh> 45th President of the United States (5) 7. Two-to-one relationship, perhaps (5) 8. Figures like Joan of Arc and Socrates, after death (7) 11. Least promising (5) 12. Actress Witherspoon who played Elle Woods (5) 13. Capital of Bulgaria; director Coppola (5) 14. Fertilising clippings (5) 15. Levitate; loom annoyingly (5) 16. Easily breakableâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and a word meaning 'easily breakable' if you cross out its fourth and seventh letters (7) 18. Separated (5) 19. Blah (2-3) 20. The most followed rapper on Instagram (5) 22. Cartoon rabbit-hunter Fudd (5) 23. Medium for Osamu Tezuka or Akira Toriyama (5) 24. Deep-sea-diving system (5) 25. Juicy fruit that, in my opinion, doesn't flavour as much green stuff as it should (4)

Adam Art Gallery Te Pātaka Toi – your gallery on Kelburn campus

On the Last Afternoon: Disrupted Ecologies and the Work of Joyce Campbell / Curated by John C. Welchman Te Taniwha: The Manuscript of Ārikirangi / Ngā kupu whakamahuki nā Richard Niania Photographs by Joyce Campbell 27.07.19 – 20.10.19

FREE ENTRY Tues–Sun, 11am–5pm Victoria University of Wellington Gate 3, Kelburn Parade adamartgallery.org.nz

Joyce Campbell Wairekeina Raging from the Te Taniwha series, 2010 gelatin silver photograph courtesy of the artist

News.

News. MONDAY , 29 JULY 2019

The Tino Rangatiratanga flag flies at last week’s Ihumātao solidarity rally outside the Beehive, with flares in the background. Photo by Elliot Blyth. The rapid response rally to support the Ihumātao protection campaign in Tāmaki Makaurau (Auckland) took place between noon and 1:15 p.m. on July 24. It saw a considerable turnout, with hundreds of supporters, including MPs, highschoolers, VUW students, and more. The #ProtectIhumatao campaign was established to oppose Fletcher Building development on the land which was occupied recently by mana whenua until several were arrested after defying eviction notices.

ISSUE 16

SALIENT

Passion: Josh Trlin is Running for Council JOHNNY O’HAGAN BREBNER (HE/HIM)

Josh Trlin: Porirua City Council Northern Ward Josh kicked off the interview by immediately emphasising the importance of diverse representation on the Porirua City Council. Citing the many issues facing young people in the city, he argued that they couldn’t be properly prioritised until young voices are heard on council.

The Harbour Another environmental issue for Josh was the Porirua Harbour. The harbour already sees excessive silt build-up and pollution from an overloaded waste and stormwater systems.

These issues? Housing, climate change, and mental health.

Josh asserts that this will only worsen with new housing developments in the area, climate change, and underinvestment in the relevant infrastructure.

However, he is also passionate about issues facing the city that aren’t challenges specific to younger generations—in particular, public transport and the harbour.

He acknowledged the complexity of the issues surrounding the harbour, saying, “I don’t know what the answers are.” However, he did suggest more investment in storm/wastewater systems, and more resources for finding solutions to the ecological problems in particular.

Climate Change Josh was clear on his vision for climate action, a long-term adaptation strategy. The strategy would need to be “more than ticking boxes” and should instead be “bold and comprehensive”.

Public Transport As a City Council candidate, Josh faces the same problems as Teri O’Neill when trying to resolve the area’s public transport woes. That is, it’s not actually the role of City Council to run it, it’s the responsibility of the Greater Wellington Regional Council.

So what does “bold and comprehensive” mean? To Josh, who submitted on Porirua’s recently declared climate emergency, it means the need to push past the mere “statement of intent” the declaration represents. Boldness means the strategy would be based on a worst-case scenario assumption, where policy would be derived from the Ministry for the Environment’s prediction of 1 metre sea level rise by the year 2100, or the UN’s 2 metre prediction.

Luckily, Josh is not only aware of the problems particular to Porirua, but has some solutions, and even ways to work around the ‘authority gap’.

Josh Trlin and interviewer Peter McKenzie in a very cold studio.

He compared it to earthquake strengthening standards, where if councils only mandated standards for weaker quakes, and a larger (but still likely) earthquake struck, the council would be called out as irresponsible.

The biggest issues for public transport in Porirua, according to Josh, are frequency and reach. He suggested that this has greater impact on areas like the Eastern Porirua which has been “left behind in terms of socio-economic development”.

The failure of reach and frequency has a number of flow-on impacts. For example, he pointed out, with the hospital. Infrequent services and high costs of transport make accessing the key healthcare provider in the area prohibitive.

Comprehensiveness would mean that the strategy would be omnipresent in council decision-making. All spending on infrastructure, city planning, public transport, water quality, and everything else, would be run past the policy. It would also mean the strategy would not only be about adaptation, but also mitigation.

The problem also related to “the majority of commuters who live in the city but work in Wellington”. Josh’s goal is to get them on trains, rather than driving in everyday. Josh also outlined that although he would have no formal authority over the transport system as a city councillor, he’s committed to “liaising” with the Regional Council as a representative of his area. He pointed out that his Labour Party affiliation would make that easier.

Josh illustrated the point with reference to the large residential developments in the city and the proximity of key economic and social infrastructure. Housing, for example, may have to have building standards adjusted to reflect the possibly unsafe temperatures in dwellings following climate change.

News.

Mental Health Josh, like many of the candidates we talked to, described mental health as a crisis, and “particularly major for young people, and a particularly major issue in Porirua”. Again, as a health issue, the District Health Board (rather than the City Council) is formally tasked with handling the problem. As such, Josh indicated a similar liaison and Labour network strategy for tackling mental health. However, he does believe that the council “can take leadership as well.” “There are things that council can be doing.” His first suggestion is increasing the number of specialist mental health facilities in the city. However, he argued that it could be more important, and more within the reach of the city council, to work on the underlying causes of mental illness. In his words, “The strongest correlation between mental health and anything else, is the material conditions people live in.” For young people, Josh says this includes climate change anxiety, unaffordable housing, low spending power—and, to compound it—30 years of “hyper-individualisation; siloing ourselves off.” The Campaign When asked about the campaign so far, Josh said he “hadn’t quite appreciated the range of issues people wanted to talk about”. Conversations with residents often wandered into areas not related to local politics. However, as he pointed out, these conversations were still important as an exercise in expressing and applying values.

A map of the Porirua City Council Wards, with Pukerua ki te Raki/Northern Ward in yellow. Stolen, again, from Porirua City Council.

“Values” came up a lot in the interview, particularly when asked about his decision to run on the Labour Party ticket. Josh’s Labour membership runs back to 2013, where he’s been a proud and active member at a number of levels in the party.

More Stuff: Full interviews available online. Keep an eye on the Salient website and Facebook page.

The decision to run on the ticket came down to a question of “honesty and values” for Josh. Not only do his values align with those of the party, but it would be dishonest for him to run independent, given his ties and other associations with the party.

Look up Josh Trlin for Porirua Northern Ward on Facebook for updates and more info. Young Matt Show: Discussing the candidate of the week every Monday, 6–8 p.m. http://salient.org.nz/fm/

Overall, Josh said that being a Labour candidate “is about manifesting those values within the local body context. To The Haters If Josh loses, his commitment to young voices in local governance is unlikely to waver. He expressed his keenness to make people feel heard and empowered. In particular, first-time voters and the large majority of Porirua residents who don’t vote in local body elections.

Salient TV: Promo-ing the candidate of the week every Thursday. www.facebook.com/ salientmagazine/ Enrol for elections at https://vote.nz/ or at the VUWSA offices.

He’s also content in the knowledge that if he doesn’t win the Northern Ward seat, there are two other young candidates who could take the win. An outcome he said would be “fantastic”.

ISSUE 16

SALIENT

Katharine Jermyn? More Like Katharine GERMS-yn FINN BLACKWELL (HE/HIM) With instances of mould on desserts, Katharine Jermyn Hall is quickly a growing reputation for sub-standard meals. Salient is in the process of asking Victoria University (who recently renewed their contract with caterers Compass Company Ltd) on the legal obligations regarding their contract with the group, as well as potential solutions to the ongoing list of food-related problems. VUWSA was also asked about the action being taken regarding the standards of hall food within KJ. Salient sat down with a KJ resident to discuss how students in the hall cope with the food served to them. The resident commented that “sometimes people are just being dramatic and it’s honestly not that bad. But then sometimes you kind of think they're trying to give you sodium poisoning.” “You’re paying that kind of money and you do expect that, because of [how much you’re paying], you wouldn’t need to question your food”.

The resident told Salient that they hadn’t had any word from the hall regarding the poor standard of food, other than an apology email after maggots were found within a meal, back in Trimester 1. The university told Salient, “We have worked closely with the catering contractor, and continue to do so, to resolve issues and ensure good quality meals”. They also said that hall staff had not received specific complaints about mould on desserts. “We urge any residents who have concerns about food to raise them and we undertake to address these immediately,” they added. The @kathyjcuisine Instagram page is dedicated to documenting sub-par meals at the hall, accruing over 800 followers since its creation in 2018. VUWSA told Salient that “VUWSA believes in students getting the best deal for students and we don’t believe it is happening at KJ.” At this stage, is unclear whether or not a significant change to hall food is coming.

Rutherford House Lockers Broken Into FINN BLACKWELL (HE/HIM) During the mid-year exam break, a number of VUWSA lockers within Rutherford House (Pipitea Campus) were broken into, and their contents stolen. The lockers are located in an underground carpark/basement area underneath campus. It is suspected that at least ten lockers were broken into. While numerous cameras surround the area, VUW will only be sharing this footage with the police. “This is a police investigation,” commented VUW. “The University made the security footage available to the police and an alleged offender is now before the courts.” VUWSA is looking into improving locker security, as well as offering refunds to those whose lockers have been broken into. Co-ordinators around the Pipitea campus are yet to make changes to security, with Security Manager Matt Sclater saying VUW is “always looking for ways to improve our

security on campus and we await the court proceedings to see if there are lessons to be learned”. The university is providing support from the Student Interest and Conflict Resolution team, available for anyone wishing to discuss the affair further. There are systems in place for those who have experienced a financial loss as a result of the break-in, such as the University Hardship/Emergency Fund. The university has also advised that individuals affected by this should file a private report to the authorities. VUWSA has stated that they have ordered “a number of new style locks for the lockers and will be test fitting these this week”. While VUWSA has filed an official police report, VUW has commented that they have not, as reports need to be filed by victims of crimes.

News.

Youth Parliament 2019 Paves Way for Young Leaders SOPHIE DIXON (SHE/HER) Youth Parliament Press Gallery Reporter 2019 Energy Bill. It is hoped that these symbolic acts will serve as precedent for Parliament.

Youth Parliament, held from July 15–17 of July, creates a mock parliament to introduce rangatahi to New Zealand’s system of government.

Luke Wijohn, the Youth MP who announced the climate emergency motion, stated, “We are clearly living in a climate emergency, but no one seems to want to actually acknowledge that.”

“[It’s] about providing an opportunity for young New Zealanders to deepen their understanding of politics and the democratic process… inspiring our next generation of politicians and political journalists,” declared Minister for Youth Peeni Henare in his press release on the event.

Molly Doyle, James Shaw’s Youth MP, emphasised: “We all know climate change is killing, taking, and destroying what is important to us.”

Youth Parliament attempts to bridge the gap between politically aware and active rangatahi, and what Henare labelled the “hallowed halls”.

This motion was developed into an open letter that was tabled in Parliament by Chlöe Swarbrick on July 23.

120 Youth MPs were selected by an individual MP to work with them. They came into the Beehive to create connections, debate ideas, and take selfies with the Prime Minister, the Speaker of the House, and the Governor-General.

The Youth MPs were told by Henare to “inspire one another about what is possible for the future of Aotearoa”. Wijohn said that the event was “incredibly eye-opening to all the good and bad inner workings of our system.”

Youth Parliament has real political impact. Reports by Select Committee on issues such as access to justice and free trade agreements are presented to Parliament’s Select Committee, which allows the voices of rangatahi to be heard, and influence policy.

“It has only solidified my opinion that the only way we can solve the issues we face is if the youth have a say in their future through having younger people in those positions of power”. The Youth MPs also heard from National Party Leader Simon Bridges, who reminded them that “leaders are made, not born”.

The biggest focus over the three days reflected the biggest challenge of our generation, in the Climate Emergency Declaration, as well as debate on the mock Sustainable

Annabel McCarthy, Youth Press Gallery member and all-round journalistic badass, strokes Chris Hipkins’ chin. Photo by Neil McKenzie.

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SALIENT

Wellington Marches for Abortion Reform JAMI KERRIGAN (SHE/HER)

CW: Abortion, Sexual Violence In New Zealand, abortion is currently a crime under the Crimes Act 1961, where it has been for over 50 years. Minister for Justice Andrew Little took to the Law Comission in Febuary of 2018, to assess what abortion would look like in New Zealand if it were to be considered a health issue instead. Three alternatives to the current law surrounding abortion were given in a consensus draft presented to cabinet last Tuesday: Model A requires a patient to decide whether or not to have an abortion alongside their health practitioner. Model B requires a doctor to decide whether it would be appropriate, given the patient's circumstances. Model C applies Model A for pregnancies up to 22 weeks, and Model B after 22 weeks. Tuesday also saw the Wellington March for Arbortion Reform, calling on Cabinet to support Model A. The march was hosted by the Victoria University Feminist Organisation, VUW Feminist Law Society, Fem Force, VUWSA, and Organisation Aotearoa.

The audio of a beating heart, broadcasted by counter protesters, could still be heard nearby. Terry Ballamak, President of ALRANZ, explained that presently, “If anyone were to provide an abortion outside of the narrow confines of the law, they could recieve as much as 14 years in prison.” According to Family Planning, age and/or sexual violence alone are not considered legal grounds for an abortion. They are only taken into account in the presence of serious danger to physical health, mental health, or cases of foetal abnormality. Jan Logie, Green Party MP and Parliamentary UnderSecretary to the Minister of Justice, spoke next. The Green Party, she said, will be supporting Option A. The Party “fundamentally believe[s] that we need to trust women and pregnant people to make the right decisions for themselves.” New Zealand can “often feel a little bit smug sometimes about being really progressive,” Logie continued. “Our current laws undermine good health care, they put barriers in the way for people being able to access fundamental health care services.”

Salient spoke to Tara Ó Súilleabháin, Co-president of VicUFO and march co-organiser. She said that it was “about solidarity with those being denied autonomy all over the world, while also reminding Labour of its promise to reform abortion law in NZ”.

She finished by saying that this is “just not acceptable in this day and age”.

The protest began at the Hub, with banners in hand reading “Autonomy from Alabama to Aotearoa” before pausing at Midland Park where Salient had the opportunity to speak to protesters.

Dame Margaret Sparrow closed the speeches with her personal experience with abortion. Admitting that the audience was “looking at a criminal… I did my own abortion.”

“New Zealand needs to stop thinking with an old-school mentality,” one protester said.

She has since been an abortion-operating doctor for 18 years.

Another added that “being criminalised makes [abortion] so much more traumatic and inaccessible to women”. Meanwhile, one person (who didn’t attend the march) said they “don’t think it is as big of an issue as say, climate change”.

The full Cabinet has yet to see the bill. However, Andrew Little, who is in favour of Option C, has implied that a decision will take weeks rather than months.

The march continued through to Parliament where speeches began.

Family Planning Chief Executive, Jackie Edmond, also confirmed that the organisation supports Option A.

VUW informed Salient that Mauri Ora GPs can provide initial assessments and referrals for those interested in pursuing an abortion.

News.

Lambton Quay to the steps of Parliament (below). Photos by Hannah Powell.

Abortion reform supportors paused briefly at Midland Park (above) before marching down.

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SALIENT

VUW Statement on the LGBTI Report Update JOHNNY O'HAGAN BREBNER

As part of our annual Queerlient issue, we published an update on the university’s LGBTI Report, however, VUW was unable to respond in time for us to include their response. Pam Thorburn, Director of Student Academic Services, responds for VUW below: Since starting in her role at the start of the year, Georgia Andrews (the inaugural Rainbow and Inclusion Adviser) has made significant progress actioning the recommendations outlined in the LGBTI report published in 2018.

and faculties, a mailing list and regular email contact with the student rainbow community, regular events (New Students Orientation, International Students Orientation, working with UniQ on Pride Week 2019), engagement with the Queer/Rainbow tertiary networks across New Zealand, strong links with Mauri Ora and the Chaplaincy services to ensure students get help and support, and improved visibility of our Rainbow and Inclusion area in publications and online.

The Rainbow and Inclusion Adviser has developed a relationship with UniQ Victoria, and will support any other student representative group for the rainbow community at the University.

There are 106 gender diverse bathrooms for students and members of the public, and 12 specifically for staff (in secured staff only areas) across Victoria University of Wellington’s campuses and premises. This includes bathrooms that are accessible. Gender diverse signage has been developed for those bathrooms and will be gradually rolled out. The University has published a list of gender diverse bathrooms on all campuses and premises on its website: www.victoria.ac.nz/rainbow

Georgia’s strong partnership with UniQ Victoria was evident when the University undertook consultation with staff and students on the University’s draft Sexual Harassment Prevention Policy. The Rainbow Community Hui had the highest student turnout. An outcome of this participation from students was the development of the No Room For Homophobia campaign which aims to address the culture on campus, to promote the University’s values, and how students can seek support from the Student Interest and Conflict Resolution team.

Student Academic Services, in particular the Rainbow and Inclusion Adviser and Mauri Ora (Student Health and Counselling), is working in partnership with students (including those who were involved in initial conversations last year) on the multidisciplinary trans-affirmative clinic at Mauri Ora.

The University has made significant progress in the accessibility and community areas. This includes working to ensure our systems recognise non-binary gender markers and preferred names, a high level of outreach across the University but in particular with schools

News.

Rostra’s Hot Takes: Euthanasia THE OPINIONS YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU NEEDED

CW: Suicide, Death Hot Takes is a section where, every two weeks, Rostra (PolSoc’s very own publication) sends out a questions to the masses for their takes on them. Rostra gives us three to publish and keeps the rest for their own website. This week, the question was, “Is the End of Life Choice Bill the right reform for euthanasia laws in New Zealand?” Keep an eye out for Rostra’s fortnightly Hot Take question on the PolSoc Facebook page. If you’re interested in writing for Rostra, contact them through rostra@vuwpolsoc.com I’m Pro Death - Tanith Wilson The only true inalienable right humans have in the context of infinity is death; and the right to answer the existential question posed by absurdist philosopher Albert Camus—“Shall I have a cup of coffee or kill myself today?” In 24 years of living, I’ve seen every member of my immediate family die, some by their own hand, some by accident, or by disease—some in my arms. To save a human life is a contradiction of terms, they may live a life that is subjectively long, but there is no true point to life. Even if there was—could we comprehend it? There’s a little-known story of an old kuia that was a companion of the prophet Te Kooti: She bore the moko kauae, was approximately 125 years old and in her last days in incredible pain. She asked her son to help her end her life because she did not have the capacity—so he did. It haunted his conscience, but the greatest mercy was to end her suffering. Many get killed fighting for illusory ideals every day. If it's true that life is a death sentence, then only the individual themselves should be fit to appoint themselves the arbiters of their fate.

The Dangers of the End of Life Choice Bill - Andrew Iupati

It's Euthanasia Time, Bois Jackson Graham

It is important that I first define what the term ‘euthanasia’ is, because I have noticed that some people have misconceptions of what that term means:

Opposition to the euthanasia bill is almost entirely boomer hysteria. After creating this global hellscape we all live in, they’re now trying to tell us we can’t even choose when we die. The End Of Life Choice Bill is vital in giving people the opportunity to take control of their terminal illness, and choose how to go (on their own terms). We actually already have euthanasia in this country, but it’s an unregulated industry of doctors illegally administering lethal amounts of drugs to end suffering, or tired patients refusing treatment because they’ve decided the never-ending fight wasn’t worth it anymore. I, for one, don’t want people to have to die in the shadows, or for doctors to face imprisonment for wanting to help the sick and dying. I believe we should be empowering people to make their own decisions, and giving those who want it the option to go out in a safe, regulated environment. So when it comes to the End Of Life Choice Bill, don’t listen to the arguments of annoying fundamentalists, listen to the thousands of New Zealanders who want to have that choice.

Euthanasia is not the withdrawal of life support and medicine. It is not an increase in morphine or some other pain relief medicine. Euthanasia is a lethal injection that terminates a patient instantly. The assumption of this Bill is that the safeguards will be adequate and prevent mistakes being made. I believe the safeguards in the Bill are ambiguous and open to interpretation, especially eligibility. A patient must have a “grievous and irremediable medical condition”. There are many medical conditions where this could apply, including people with quadriplegia, dyslexia, epilepsy— even asthma could be considered “grievous and irremediable”. Another clause states that a patient is in irreversible decline. This clause could also be applied to a variety of cases including people with multiple sclerosis. Implications of this ambiguous criteria could be dangerous as it could include those in the disabled sector. This debate is far from over. There are many complex issues. Here, I can emphasise only the ambiguity of the safeguards. This bill could include those in the disabled sector who are most vulnerable.

ISSUE 16

SALIENT

Probing The Punters GETTING TO KNOW THE ONE OCEAN POPULATION

What does Freaky Friday mean to you?

What’s your favourite thing to do on Friday?

Why did you get involved with Wan Solwara?

What part of Wan Solwara are you most looking forward to?

What’s the best thing about being Pasifika?

Taualofa Totua 1. I would say bad luck but that shit can

hit you any day. At this point in time I’d say storm Māngere KFC they can’t stop us all.

2. Not go to my one class scheduled, share an Indigenous meme in celebration of Friyay, and making it to J&M’s after drinking my $8 wine.

Briar Turnbull 1. Lindsay Lohan, Jamie Lee Curtis, Chad Michael Murray and some serious racial undertones about what “freaky” means.

3. For every Pacific student before me and

every Pacific student after me. Storytelling is in our blood. We matter.

2. Enjoy drinking responsibly and having a boogie at the fine establishments along Courtenay Place.

4. Pacific people are inherently creative. Each piece is personal and interconnected, linked by our stewardship for our common home and our objective to uplift each other. (Memes are uplifting, soooo... )

3. To elevate the Pasifika student voice!!! 4. the MEMES

5. Food at family To’ona’i. Our crazy and high-key annoying laughs. The gracefulness

5. O le mea’ai. (The food).

in a Samoan Siva. Hospitality. Respect.

Hililo Petelo Savelio

Aldrina Polataivao

1. Drink up!

1. The song “Freaky Friday by Lil Dicky ft. Chris Brown playing inside Boston on Blair on a Saturday night in town.

2. Sleep in. No classes, whoop whoop. 3. I’m very proud to bring a Tokelauan perspective and voice.

2. Netflix and KFC

4. All of it! I’m excited to read what my Pasifika brothers and sisters have to share.

3. As a proud, young Pasifika woman, I finally get a chance to take part in an edition that is by BROWN people, for BROWN people. This is monumental and the fact that we get to share our voices is special—especially as Indigenous peoples with a platform as significant as this.

5. The richness of our cultures are perpetually beautiful. I am proud to be Pasifika.

Sulani Liua Helg 1. Finally get to drink on Friday. 2. Not go to work.

4. I’m excited for this edition’s ability to empower Pasifika and Māori youth to enable mechanisms that encourage them to address systematic disadvantages, to create sustainable change in their communities, and overall—to just be proud of who they are.

3. Our ancestors did not go through sh*t for us to do nothing about the atrocities our people are facing today. This is why we must occupy spaces where Pacific voices are needed the most!!

5. We are storytellers. This is seen in how we speak, dance, sing, act, work, and live. We are constantly retelling stories of our ancestry, our culture, and traditions on a day-to-day basis. What we do in the ‘now’ draws back to our Pasifika heritage, and it is beautiful and creative and unique.

4. The confronting and unapologetic pieces that resist structures that continue to misrepresent, oppress, and exclude Pacific voices <3 5. The ocean is our common heritage and I want the world to know that.

“Well thanks, twitter, I just had to explain furries to my own father.” - @CaitlinSnark “listen to me. listen. CATS sucks. it sucks so fucking bad and andrew lloyd webber is history’s greatest monster. also who wants to go see CATS with me” - @ryandroyd “What movies will the Cats trailer be preceding this weekend. I would like to see it on The big screen. I want to know what noises my body will make when fully immersed in the most psychologically disturbing piece of art of the decade” - @nwalks “I don't know why you're all freaking out over miniature yet huge cats with human celebrity faces and sexy breasts performing a demented dream ballet for kids.” - @louisvirtel

CATS! CATS! CATS! CATS! TWEETS L OVIN GLY HAN D-C URAT ED BY EMMA M AGUIRE ( S HE/HER)

@em_ma_maguire

“GET ON THE COCAINE-FUELED ROCKET TRAIN TO UNCANNY MEOW MEOW TOWN CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKERS” - @thelindsayellis

“I picked a horrible day to release the trailer to my new movie TWO STONERS AND THEIR SINGING CAT GET IN AN AERIAL BATTLE WITH A SEWER CLOWN” - @BrianLynch

“Cats (2019) is finally proof that a proper cosmic horror film can be made” - @johaganbrebner “Im going to have to mute the phrase "i wanna fuck the cats from CATS". What is wrong with you people” - @FrankMcRae “Imagine seeing the “Cats” trailer never having heard of “Cats” before. You’d probably think you had died and your brain was releasing DMT.” - @joshgondelman “TOM CRUISE: The internet, I give to you the trailer for my new film, which features footage of me flying fighter jets FOR REAL. I hope you enj— THE INTERNET: Not now, Tom. An evil wizard has trapped the souls of Taylor Swift and Judi Dench inside some fucked-up feline videogame.” - @ChrisHewitt “A friend of mine loves musicals but has always been vocal about how much he hates Cats. I bumped into him this morning and he looks like he's having the worst day of his life” - @gwynebs

“I don't think Jason Derulo realizes how much is riding on him as the Rum Tum Tugger. THIS CAT BETTER MAKE ME HORNY.” - @ohboybeccaslack

“absolute The Worst part of examining the Cats (2019) nonsense from a journalistic point of view is discovering the Dense and Elaborate tweet threads discussing the relative horniness of the cats themselves” - @em_ma_maguire

“WHY DO THE GIRL CATS STILL HAVE TITTIES A LITTLE BIT” - @communistbabe

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BOTTLE DRIVE Get 20c for every clean glass or plastic bottle, or can, you drop off to our stall! Happening in the Hub on Thursday, 1 August 11:30 a.m.–1 p.m. We have $200 so first 1000 bottles will receive 20c per bottle. Bottle Drives show government how great incentive schemes are for reducing waste in Aotearoa!

Kia Ora, I’m reaching out with so much admiration for the last edition. I thoroughly enjoyed it. One point I would like to bring up is that there was a potential for another social minority to be considered. Fat people. I know, hear me out. I’m a feminist, always have been but I’m also a fat person. Weight and fat phobia is a big push back in the feminist world, or in the equality world. Let’s not get started on people of colour or people with disabilities being fat because I could write about that for years. If that’s at all coherent, I hope in the future there is room for our voices and our perspectives. If so I’d love to be involved and to help you find a someone to speak on this issue.

ASYLUM SEEKERS EQUALITY PROJECT

Thank you for your work!

Asylum seeking policy is not only a global and national issue, but a local one. Come along to ASEP’s second event of the year, to hear Mayor Justin Lester speak on Wellington City Council’s initiatives relating to this paramount issue. Date: 5 p.m., 15 August 2019 Location: Old Government Building Common Room

HOT: • Wellingtonians protesting for both Ihumātao and abortion rights. • Thursdays in Black VUW held a clothes swap (set to occur again after the midsemester break). • Leopard seal made a stop off in Wellington Harbour.

L E TE I C H A LOWRY

• The Lab's vegan tofu sandwich.

92,153

• Silver Ferns won the Netball World Cup.

votes received by Boris Johnson to become Britain's next prime minister, beating Jeremy Hunt's 46,656 votes.

800

NOT:

the number of years the mana whenua of Ihumātao have inhabited the land.

• CGI cats in the new Cats movie trailer.

• Trump said he's "the best thing that ever happened to Puerto Rico" and considered holding the Miss Universe pageant there twice, as evidence he has "many Puerto Rican friends".

houses uninhabitable due to damage following the Christchurch gas explosion.

• No prize money for the Silver Ferns, despite the Black Caps receiving collectively $3 million as Cricket World Cup runners up.

the age at which NASA's mission control founder, Christopher C Kraft Jr, passed away.

• Artic fires are occurring at the greatest magnitude seen in the 16-year satellite record.

days remaining to submit art for the Student Art Exhibition (due, ready to hang, 4 p.m. on Friday at VUWSA's Kelburn office).

• Oranga Tamariki shared a victim's confidential address with her abusive ex-partner. 17

G IG INJURY R E SE RVE REVIEW: FI NN H O L L A N D

> i'm in the queue for the bathroom at Meow > someone starts yelling “we are boys and we piss quick”

any of the words /// the artists can tell they could say basically whatever they want and the crowd would still reckon it ‘slaps’

> at the urinal the guy next to me starts babbling in my ear about how good Injury Reserve are > - this is not the time or place my friend > i turn around and there’s a security guard on his hands and knees behind

> someone recently spoke to me about //lyrical// rap at a party and I asked what the fucking point was if all the allusions and complex wordplay were in regard to police brutality, ghetto violence, heroin and crack epidemics and anything else on a long list of cultural specificities that neither me nor anyone at that party had any notion of (((

“What on earth are you looking for my friend?” > i’m looking at the crowd thinking the same thing now > i don't think the artists have any interest in being here for that reason

> back in the bar the gig starts and the mix is shit > people are pushing and grabbing each other but not dancing > they probably think they’re moshing > they’re not > there are six security guards at the gig, five more than I’m used to > two are on either side of the stage flash lighting the audience “Excuse me Mr Security guard, could you please lower your beam, I’m trying to enjoy the music”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >these kids don't listen to dance music so don’t know how to dance >these kids don't listen to guitar music so don’t know how to mosh >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> > i’m 22 but i feel 35 writing this > they play all this money, oh shit and jailbreak the Tesla > have a bop to some hooks

> i’m stone cold sober with no intention of changing that /// and no one here looks like a drug dealer or anyone even slightly likely to Commit any Cool Crimes. > the artists ask the security guards to chill out > mix is still shit so I go to stand by the sound desk ((( a tried and true method ))) > still sounds like shit > the first half of the set is all off the new album so no one knows

> they play one more track then announced they'll be at the merch table if anyone wants to meet them > my immediate thoughts are that I can't imagine that going well and that i’d much rather hear any number of their unplayed tracks than spin yarns > ah well > > >

F O OD FREAKY FR I E S- DAY REV IEW: SA L LY WA R D

NB: This article was inspired by Jamie Lee Curtis in the body of Lindsay Lohan, eating french fries for the first time in eight years.

Camel Grill spicy fries — $5 Fries are simple, unfussy. And yet, there is more choice than there are acoustic covers of rap songs on YouTube. Everyone is having a go, not all are successful. Almost unilaterally available, they are the family member at every occasion. Or, at the very least, the thing you take home after a night out. A hangover cure, an afternoon pick-me-up, an alcohol sponge, a side dish, a bar snack, post-game recovery—name a more versatile menu item, I’ll wait. The only time I wouldn’t order fries is when the hash browns are out to play at breakfast.

This is the second time we have recommended a trip to Dixon St. The best $5 you’ll spend all week, they open late. Lucky fries — $5 Universally respected and acclaimed, another good pit-stop on the way home. Strong endorsement from @chipsofwgtn, not soggy in the slightest.

I find share plates somewhat lacking in British-based eating culture. There is a tendency to order an individual plate with a don’t-touch-my-food attitude. Chips and sauce are communal. That being said, the friend who doesn’t order anything and then proceeds to eat 80% of my medium-size fries and the last of the aioli is trespassing on my goodwill. Ultimately, they cannot be charged—fried potato is incapacitating. Fries have so much oil in them that if you throw them in a hot pan the next day, they’ll crunch up good as new—that’s the kind of resilience I am looking for in a takeaway item. Order more than you need and, share, or put in a sandwich; fries are for the soul.

The Chippery (Mt Vic/Thorndon) $6–$8 a scoop

I’m sitting at the table with the duo behind @chipsofwgtn (check them out for a celebration and degustation of chippies). Their IG account is dedicated to reviewing hot chips—their measures for chippy excellence being outside crunchiness and inside fluffiness. I wanted to know why they picked chips. “We’ve always liked chips.” More philosophically, “chips are inclusive”. Here are some recommendations from myself and the chip connoisseurs:

DON'T

Not the cheapest, but they know what they’re doing. Choose between curly, beer-battered, crinkled, hand-cut… Take yourself to the Oriental boat sheds on a Sunday with a side of comfort. Cozy Cake Shop — $4 Large It’s in the name: COZY. French fry style, value for money, generous.

Burger King loaded fries Band-wagoning if you’ve ever seen it. Loaded fries are taking over the scene and here’s a mogul having a go. Nasty and not in a good way, sauce that tastes plastic, and not even cheap. Frankly, unworthy of your wallet

B OO KS NO RMA L P E OP L E - SAL LY R O O N E Y REV IEW: CE L I NA M O N K H O U S E

A true reflection of the technological age, I first came to know of Sally Rooney’s Normal People through social media. In almost predictable fashion, someone had taken a photo of a sufficiently emotional page in the book and posted it on Instagram. This excerpt read to me a lot like a John Green novel (which may sometimes be a good thing, but for the most part, is not really), albeit more sophisticated. Being rather emotional at the time, I decided this was exactly what I needed. On its surface, Normal People certainly sounds like it would fit the mould of your typical angst-ridden teen romance novel. It follows the relationship between Marianne and Connell over the span of several years—detailing the complexity and nuance to their relationship as they struggle through high school (where Marianne is the classic lonely, unpopular girl, while Connell is the typical popular athlete), and then university (where their high school statuses essentially reverse). Rooney’s chapters take us through their pivotal moments; the highlights of their relationship. As such, sometimes the next chapter will take place three days later, sometimes a month, occasionally more. This is much more than a frivolous love story. It is a deeply emotional tale that presents the psychological difficulties of two multifaceted people coming together—not always in a romantic sense, but always in a way that is more than superficial. There is no gloss over the characters. The reality of this is that both present as extremely flawed, as does their relationship (something the characters grapple with constantly throughout the book). However, their vulnerabilities are exposed in such a way that strips them of any semblance of ‘good’ or ‘bad’, and allows us to appreciate them as they are. Marianne and Connell’s vulnerabilities present

themselves most violently when they are around each other, often leading to painful misunderstandings. Chapter by chapter, we attempt to comprehend the feelings they have towards one another at that specific moment in time while they also deal with personal struggles. Certainly, many would criticise the fact that the story overtly focuses on the relationship between Marianne and Connell. Subsidiary characters pale in comparison with the two, and go through little (if any) character development, mainly existing to facilitate occurrences in their relationship. These critics wouldn’t be incorrect—but this is the point of the story. The relationship put forward is meant to be all-encompassing and constantly shifting in dynamic, such that auxiliary characters would inevitably have little to offer. Rooney transports readers deep into the psyche of both of these characters and I found it captivating, albeit painfully emotional and sad at times. We are plummeted into the interaction of love and power; how we can ignore the ones we love while simultaneously desiring their affection. We can appreciate the beauty of their love, but we are constantly reminded of the unsteady power dynamic between them and the faults in their perception of each other and the world. Normal People has been attracting a lot of hype recently, and for good reason. There is a poignant humanness to the story; a rawness to it that highlights the intense connections that humans are able to make with each other and how that is expressed. Themes of social class and family dynamics are also explored, but above all—love is demonstrated in its most unfiltered form here, and it is both distressing and wonderful.

P ODCAS T SONG E X P LODE R REVIEW: TOM W H I TE

It was dark by the time I neared Hokio Beach. “Scott Street” by Phoebe Bridgers competed against the rain on the windscreen. It’s an emotional song; the feels were real. And then: “Next time on Song Exploder: Mumford & Sons… My name is Thao Nguyen. Thanks for listening.” The all-too-familiar voice of Marcus Mumford entered my ears again, the first time in a while.

This is one of the beauties of this podcast: You listen to songs you otherwise might not have heard, and discover the stories behind that song. If you listen to each episode, not just the ones with artists you already know and like, I guarantee you will develop new tastes (a separate playlist in my Spotify houses all the Song Exploder discoveries).

I have a fraught and fractured relationship with Mumford & Sons. I remember the first time we were alone together in my room. Earphones on, I turned the volume up and up until, overcome with banjo, I knocked over a shelf. I was 12, and in love—with a band. Over time, our relationship deepened. I introduced them to my best friend and together we revelled in their music. Babel was released and I listened to nothing else for a week. They were my first (concert). I wore their concert tee so much it got a hole in it— and kept wearing it. For my birthday, I asked for the vinyl record. I loved them.

Its title is perfect: It is not an explosion, with the song blown up and destroyed; it is an exploder, where all the pieces heard throughout the episode are joined together again in a way which makes the song, when it is played at the end, so much more impressive and meaningful. Through “exploding” the song, you discover it—and in a unique light.

And then they broke my heart. Wilder Mind came out, and I felt betrayed. This was not the Mumford & Sons I knew and loved; this was some heavy rock band. Where was the banjo?? I listened to the album, and I refused to ever listen to it again. From that point, I no longer really listened to their music. So it was not without hesitation that I listened to their episode in this podcast “where musicians take apart their songs, and piece by piece, tell the story of how they were made.” It was a session of reconciliation (however one-sided). I listened to Marcus and Ben talk about the emotional backdrop and genesis of their new song, “Beloved”; about the musical discoveries they made through their experience recording the song; and about their relationships with the band and with music itself. It’s dramatic, but I forgave them.

Created in 2014 by Hrishikesh Hirway, the show began with fairly low-key and indie artists. Now in its sixth year, part of the Radiotopia podcast powerhouse and featuring a new host, there have since been heaps of big names, too, including Jack Johnson, Gorillaz, Arcade Fire, alt-J, Iggy Pop, Thundercat, Action Bronson and Fleetwood Mac, as well as our very own Lorde and Kimbra. The production value of this pod is high and the episodes a cool 15–20 minutes. Some of the best episodes are interviews with the creators of popular theme songs, such as those of the TV shows BoJack Horseman, Downton Abbey and Game of Thrones, movies La La Land and Moonlight, and podcasts Reply All (with “the mysterious Breakmaster Cylinder”) and The Daily (with the magnificent Michael Barbaro). However, other episodes I definitely recommend include: Hozier’s “Nina Cried Power”; ODESZA’s “Kusanagi”; Rostam’s, “Bike Dream”, and Raleigh Ritchie’s “Time in a Tree” (mostly because it’s so weird that it’s Grey Worm). One of my first and favourite podcasts, Song Exploder is definitely one to get in amongst.

FAS HI ON D OLC E & GA B B A (N AH ) REV IEW: NI NA W E IR

Cast your mind back to March 2015. NCEA internals were just starting, Zayn had just left One Direction, and people across the country were parking themselves down on the couch every Monday night to watch X Factor New Zealand. In the most infamous five minutes of TV3 history, judge Natalia Kills attacked contestant Joe Irvine, name-calling and bullying him on live TV. Our collective hearts broke for Joe, and we turned on Natalia with the same pack-animal wrath that Arnott’s faced when they changed the Shapes cracker recipe. Natalia had to flee the country and change her name—New Zealand didn’t care that she was a B-grade celebrity hired for her big personality; she had done something unkind and had to pay the consequences. Last year, I thought I was watching history repeat itself on a much bigger stage than MediaWorks’ budget could ever afford: In an attempt to court Chinese consumers with the same energy as a guy who still thinks “negging” is a viable flirting technique, fashion house Dolce & Gabbana released an ad mocking a Chinese model as she struggled to eat Italian food with chopsticks. The criticism quickly began to roll in, especially after it was revealed than D&G had been forewarned that the ad was inappropriate and would very likely harm the brand. Stefano Gabbana, one half of the fashion house, then publicly posted screenshots of Instagram DMs he had sent which mocked critics of the ad, and contained several deeply racist comments about Chinese people. The world gleefully watched as Gabbana appeared to get his just deserts: A catwalk show in Shanghai was cancelled mere hours before it was scheduled to go on, models and celebrities pulling out “for unforeseen reasons”—a gloriously ambiguous phrase which can mean anything from unexpected family commitments to ‘yeah nah I don’t want a part in your racist shitshow’. People unfollowed

the brand in their droves, and hundreds of Chinese consumers filmed themselves setting fire to their Dolce & Gabbana clothes. Long story short: It appeared that the brand, or at least the Gabbana half of the brand, was finished. In the space of an afternoon, they had angered a consumer base comprising a third of the brand’s $1.3 billion-dollar income. This wasn’t a C- assignment grade you could bounce back from in the exam. This was walking into a tutorial room and pissing all over the floor. Imagine my surprise, then, at reports surfacing last week of D&G’s recent runway show, described by Vogue as the brand’s “most spectacular chapter yet”. Article after article fawned over the necklines, embroidery, and earrings, conspicuously silent on the fact that one of the two designers of the collection had used his brand’s platform of 20 million followers to bully and attack an entire nation. The New York Times went so far as to release an article on the brand’s “resurgence”, claiming that “outrage, apparently, only lasts so long when looking good and consumer desire are involved”; Gabbana’s comments had already “slipped into the fog of history”. If you search any Natalia Kills video on YouTube, people are still commenting on the Joe Irvine incident, four years on. Outrage isn’t time-dependant, it’s just based on how much you value those who’ve been affected. If New Zealand could be so personally moved by a bullied X Factor contestant, then why the hell does the fashion industry refuse to consider the hurt Gabbana has caused to Chinese people around the globe, before gushing about the beautiful clothes he’s created? It’s not about separating the art from the artist—it’s about realising that silence teaches these people they can get away with saying disgusting things, and teaches those affected by the comments that their dignity is less important than someone’s ability to make a sparkly gold dress.

Spider Man Spider Man Does whatever. A spider can spin a web, any size. Catches thieves.

Just likes flies.

Look Out! Here comes the Spider, Man.

â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Johnny O'Hagan Brebner

Send your limericks, elegies, and odes to poetry@salient.org.nz

Yoon Hong, The Bite, Digital Il

llustration, 297 x 420mm, 2019

THE P WORD MATTHEW CASEY YOUNG MAT T'S POLITICS

“You’ll enjoy a conversation with anyone, as long as neither of you bring up politics,” or so they say. But what if every conversation ever was about politics? The reason they like a certain rugby team, the jokes they make— in fact, every element that has lead them to these conversations with you has been purely political.

don’t identify with this, then congratulations, you were the one with the power. The fact that politics is a part of our lives at all times is why we should care. It affects you in every which way: The reason a box of Long Whites costs roughly $25, depending on where you shop. The reason why half the readers of this magazine didn’t have to pay for their first year of university (Thank you Jacinda). The reason that your bus to uni costs a different rate and also why it’s late sometimes.

There is “politics” in the sense that your aunty votes for a different political party than your grandma. I get it, it’s a bit ugly, but if everything else that is talked about is political, why not be open to discuss why you did or didn’t vote for The Opportunities Party last election?

All of these are because, at some point, someone higher up in the power chain made the decision for higher taxes on alcohol, to fully subsidise your first year of university, or even plan which contract the Wellington City Council would take for their buses.

At its core, politics is how power is distributed, so there is politics in everything and everything is political. My first conscious interaction with politics, outside of what you would traditionally consider politics, was being the youngest in a family of three boys. You win some and you lose some; the sibling pecking order leads to its own form of lobbying. You need to find ways of being heard and understood. Same goes for my brothers—our parents were sometimes less strict on me, sometimes stricter. It was circumstantial and we each tried to battle for our own voice to be heard.

Enroll to vote. Vote with awareness—there are a lot of places to be educated, including on the internet and in Salient magazine. Local government elections are coming up this year, with many options. They’re going to be the people that impact every single day of your life over the next three years. Next year, you can have your say to sort out the nation’s politics, too. Acknowledge the politics in your everyday life, look at how it affects you and the others around you. Care, to make sure the system cares about you. Whether you actively participate in politics or not is a choice. Either way, politics aren’t going away and will always be a part of your life.

Whether in families, school boards, local bodies, or political parties, those who control decision-making influence the outcome. Politics is everywhere. The politics of the household is why your older (or younger) siblings get a say over takeaways on a Friday night. And if you

NĀ FIN JOHNSON

SUPRESSION IS DEPRESSION

Emotional literacy is something that is not taught in schools. We are taught when to use a comma, but not when to stop and breathe. A question mark at the end of a sentence, but never to question how we are really feeling deep down underneath. An exclamation mark to signify a strong emotion, while not being taught how to identify those that set our everyday in motion. We are shown how to punctually finish a sentence, but not how to functionally deal with those dark emotions that make us want to full stop.

loss, grief, and compassion that so many of us face. This is particularly important for students, as it is easy to stay within your own bubble,surrounded by only those with similar views and experiences. For most of the performers, this showcase marked their first time on stage, the first time for their voices to be heard. With deep kaupapa like loss, grief, and compassion, it was a space where the rangatahi were vulnerable, and had to courageously lay themselves bare in front of friends, family, and strangers. There is great power in vulnerability, and this is evident through the deep respect that results between performers at an event like this.

“Suppression is depression” I see great wisdom in this phrase, as it has me walking down the dark streets of Johnsonville on a Monday night. Dog leash in my left hand and Notes app in my right, the cold wind bites my fingers as I walk in the winter moonlight. I tackle suppression through creative expression, as I write rhymes in my Notes app, piece by piece the progression.

The impact of the event was felt by all; the tears of joy, sadness, and empathy persisted throughout the night. The nature of the impact varied among attendees. Some described Manawataki as the most Māori cultural exposure that they have ever had; for some, the performances resurfaced old pain that was then healed; while others were just shocked at the sense of connection and energy that was felt in the atmosphere. The most important feedback that the event received was plain and simple: We need more of this.

Loss, grief, compassion. These are the three kaupapa that were addressed and creatively expressed at a brand new event called Manawataki - Cadence of Youth. Manawataki was a two-night rap and spoken word poetry showcase that featured eight rangatahi, captivating audiences at both the National Library and The Hunter Lounge. The aim of our event was to provide rangatahi with a platform to creatively express themselves, and share their own stories and experiences with loss, grief, and compassion.

Events like these are not possible without the support of existing organisations in the community who support the kaupapa. Manawataki could not have been possible without the support of the following: Mary Potter Hospice, the National Library of New Zealand, SaySo Project, The Hunter Lounge, Abandoned Brewery, and Te Kawa a Māui (the VUW Māori studies department).

The event served as a wake-up call in a time where our perceptions of others are constantly filtered and moderated through the lens of social media. The raw and confronting nature of so many of the pieces provided authentic insight into the experiences of

SWAT

SIMP LY SUSTAINABL E

ALEX WALKER

KIRSTY FRAME

You may not know it, but I’m a renowned pirate. My ship is called the Green Ghoul and the mere sight of its signature green sails is enough to strike fear in even the most hardened of adventurers. My list of crimes are endless. I have sneaked onto the crow’s nest of ships and listened in on private conversations. Sometimes I’ve crept into the lower decks, grabbed a goldencrusted chest, and threw it overboard into the murky sea. A few such escapades have ended in violence; with me drawing a sword and beating back innocent people trying to defend their ship.

A common theme is occurring in waste management: Things are not all they promised to be. Perhaps one of the biggest recycling misconceptions is that all items we bag up can actually be recycled. Last year, China sent the Western world into a frenzy with their 24-type ban on imported recyclables. Media outlets published this “shock” news, but the reality was that China had been warning exporters for years. The truth is, we were sending over a filthy mix of rubbish and food with our recyclables.

At uni, I’m happy and conscientious. On the sea, I’m a menace. Contamination occurs with misinformation and a bit of “she’ll be right”. Our en masse recycling collection system means that there’s virtually no liability for incorrect recycling, and bags deemed too contaminated are disposed of in the landfill. Some of the most commonly misplaced items in Wellington include tetra paks, jar lids, polystyrene, and food scraps. (Write those down above your bin to annoy your flatmates—works a treat.)

So let me paint the scene: I’m clambering up the crow’s nest ladder, desperately hoping no one will look up and spot me aboard their ship. I leap into the crow’s nest just as I hear the sound of a mic crackle and a voice say, “Where should we sail to now, team?” My excitement increases. This ship’s crew are incredibly talkative! From what I can tell, they seem to be on a quest to retrieve an ancient artifact. They joke with each other and talk freely… not realising that I am aboard and listening to every word. Eventually, one says, “you reckon the map wants us to go East?”

Right now, the incentive for correct and clean recycling is likely only there for those already sustainably inclined. What we need is a system that’s motivating and satisfactory to more people.

Immediately, I activate my mic and chime in: “Yeah, sounds like a good idea!”

Enter buy-back recycling schemes: Yes, we pay you for your plastic and glass bottles. This system is well-established and thriving in places such as Canada, Germany, and South Africa. NZ is no stranger either, having had many a bottle drive throughout the 50’s and 80’s. Under this scheme, beverage-makers pay a proportionate deposit for the refund customers get. In all instances, this has improved the quantity and quality of recycled bottles and reduced litter.

There is an immediate, stunned silence. “Who was that?” asks one of the crew nervously. I repeat myself—trying very hard not to laugh—and the silence continues. Then, I hear timber cracking, and the rush of water. The crew are so scared that they are sinking their own ship. And I’m still laughing! There’s no getting around the fact that this behaviour is kind of awful. I would never do it in real life. But somehow, in a virtual world, I tell myself it’s okay. I’ll scare people into sinking themselves with the broadest grin on my face, and then pop off to uni for a wellbeing event. Is this okay? I wasn’t exactly caring for that crew’s wellbeing when I forced them to sink themselves!

By putting a price on our waste, the half-washed milk carton transitions into a squeaky clean container ready for that coin. There’s support growing to re-introduce this method back into NZ—just last year, a 15,000-strong petition was presented by The Kiwi Bottle Drive.

Am I a wellbeing leader, or just a pirate in disguise?

This Thursday, 1 August, there will be a pop-up bottle drive in the Hub, hosted by Plastic Diet. Bring along your clean plastic and glass bottles for free cash!

-Alex Walker

CAITLIN HICKS

This week, I turned to the freakiest place on the internet to inform my column: Reddit. Typically, I limit my Reddit use to the occasional investment in Meme Economy, the odd Big Chungus, and infrequent forays into Late Stage Capitalism. Deep in the pits of r/AskReddit, however, I came across a thread that a conspiracy theory lunatic like myself could only dream of: What is the most interesting “Top Secret” document that has now been declassified and is publicly available? This weekend, I’d suggest that your barside banter adopt the approach of completely obliterating your companions’ faith in the government, as well as in humanity. PROJECT MKUltra This was a CIA “mind control” program undertaken from 1953–1973 involving illegal experiments on participants which aimed to refine procedures for interrogations and forcing confessions. The Office of Scientific Intelligence at the CIA spearheaded the project in co-ordination with the US Army Biological Warfare Laboratories. Research was undertaken at 80 institutions, including universities, hospitals, and prisons—and even against the CIA’s own agents. Methods of altering brain functions included non-consensual secret drug administration (typically LSD), hypnosis, isolation, verbal and sexual abuse, and sensory deprivation. In one instance, LSD was administered to a mental patient in Kentucky for 174 days in an attempt to wipe the subject’s mind clean and program them as “a robot agent”. The aim of the game was to produce a perfect ‘truth drug’ to use on Soviet spies during the Cold War, and to explore other possibilities of mind control. In this pursuit, the CIA spent around USD$87.5 million (in today’s currency) on “chemical, biological, and radiological” methods of mind control. In 1973, Director of the CIA Richard Helms ordered that all files be destroyed, so what we know of the project today

relies on the testimony of direct participants, and the few surviving documents which were declassified in 2001 and 2018. Ted Kaczynski, the domestic terrorist known as the Unabomber, allegedly participated in the “brutalizing psychological experiment” as a sophomore at Harvard. Across a span of three years, Kaczynski spent 200 hours in a study where he and other participants were subjected to verbal abuse and intense humiliation every week. He later went on to kill three and injure many more in his anarchistic nationwide bombing campaign. Other famous “participants” (willing and otherwise) include Ken Kesey, the author of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. His voluntary use of LSD during the project inspired him to later promote the drug in parties called “Acid Tests”, influencing the development of hippie culture. Robert Hunter, lyricist for the Grateful Dead, is also known to have volunteered for LSD experiments with the CIA; the Grateful Dead being of many bands who would perform at these psychedelic parties. Attorney for Sirhan Sirhan, Robert Kennedy’s assassin, also believed him to be “operating under MK-ULTRA mind control techniques”. MKUltra has since cropped up numerous times in pop culture, including in television series like Stranger Things, The West Wing, and Archer, movies such as Pineapple Express and Captain America: The Winter Soldier, the video game Call of Duty: Black Ops, and in songs by Muse and Lupe Fiasco. In fact, the Bourne series is all based on MKUltra techniques. So there you have it. You can head home now and binge Doomsday Preppers over your Burger King coupon B meal, and commiserate over the fact that there is, well and truly, a glitch in the simulation. You’re welcome.

Student Art Exhibition 6 - 8 August Opening night - Monday 5 August Be a part of our all student art exhibition running right in the middle of Kelburn Campus (MC 201). We are welcoming art of all shapes and sizes. All pieces of work will be for sale, with the profits going directly to you, the artist! VUWSA is taking submissions up until Friday 2 August at 4pm at the VUWSA Kelburn office (Student Union Building). Email art@vuwsa.org.nz for more details. VUWSA will apply discretion for what artworks are chosen for the show. VUWSA will not accept liability for damage or theft of work.

MELANY TONIN

My dream is that I buried an old woman in my school rugby fields and the police helped me after they saw the hole. Please help Dear dreamer, On first glance, for all intents and purposes, I’m going to presume you’re a lousy bastard. But the sheer broadness of the dream is intriguing. The act of burying means one of two things—either something in your life is ending, or you’re repressing an emotion or a thought. I’m going to go out on a limb here (because you’ve “taken the time” to write in) to say that it’s good, old, cold-blooded repression. Hell, with you kids, it’s always repression— every time you feel a splash of anything, be it joy or terror, you just throw your head down and mindlessly scroll until the swelling emotions have once again withered away. It’s not healthy, and damn it if it doesn’t have repercussions! If nothing else, it ends up with you wasting a winter’s afternoon scrolling the net to find Melany Tonin’s email address, so you can send in one lousy sentence and expect me to save you. Who relies on a bloody student magazine for advice?! I can’t even save myself. Anyway, according to a Google dream dictionary, an old woman is actually a positive symbol, meaning it’s time to pay more attention to—wait for it—yep, repressed feelings or emotions. Now, I know what you’ve done. You kept your description short, empty, because you’re not ready to admit you’ve blocked your cavities, that you’re deeply repressed—but that’s why the burial happens in school

fields, and in rugby fields, more specifically. I mean, come on—why no soccer, no cricket? Because rugby is crucial: Rugby is code for all of the things in school you despised. But now that you’ve crawled your way up onto the first floor of the white ivory tower, you’re ready to find that sweet gentle kid who used to exist before four years of trainings and Saturday morning matches, before the taste of orange at half time corrupted you; stained your lips. But that little angel is gone. It didn’t wait around until it was convenient. And somewhere in between all of the scrolling and all of the bellowing you’ve lost sight of who you are. You buried the original and left a lousy, half-smiling double who can be replaced by any slowmoving schmuck walking down Courtenay Place. So what to do? Your best hope, in all seriousness, is to buy a little house by the sea—preferably without an internet connection, and go find yourself. I know that’s probably not affordable, nor within reason of advice publicised to 14,000 readers, so I’ll say this instead: Stop digging, stop scrolling, stop smiling, you idiot. They’re lousy jokes, the people around you are clones, who deserve as little of your attention as you can possibly manage. Do what you want to do. Stop falling into line, soldier—you only get to play this game once.

I WOULD LIKE TO PREFACE THAT I'M NO PSYCHOLOGY EXPERT JULIA LAWSON

CW: Emotional Abuse, Physical Violence The fact that he had a Huawei phone should have tipped me off, but he had such a presence about him. He oozed with this kind of charm that I had never encountered before. The intensity of Edward Cullen and the sarcasm of Chandler Bing. He shook everyone’s hand, he called people mate, drank beer and smoked with great affectation—holding the cigarette with his index finger and thumb while combing his hair with his other hand. He was also a sociopath. Apparently he fell in love with me the second he saw me—it was my smile, he said. He would always talk about my smile, and how it could light up every room. When he told me this, I couldn't wipe that stupid smile off my face. Little did I know, this line had been preached to half of Wellington’s female population. He didn't give a fuck what anyone thought of him, breezing through the world on his own terms. It was so magnetic, never dull. In hindsight, so fucking fake. He was undeniably quick, picking up on even the most veiled sarcasm. He would say things like relationships are for muppets, but I was “different”. If I wanted him, he would drop everything and be mine. He never skipped a beat, challenging my intellect like no other boy had before. I was completely hooked. In the context of a relationship, sociopaths are typically described as being exceedingly charismatic. They will tell you black is white, and you’ll believe it. Everything is urgent, everything needs to be done quickly—there is no taking it slow in a sociopath’s vocabulary. A sociopath is in total control of the relationship, before you've even begun it.They will woo you and sweep you off your feet and make you believe it was your idea; not theirs. This is a tactic called ‘bait and switch’, where sociopaths are on their best behaviour until you are

"On our first date, he punched a guy in the face for whistling at me."

submissive in the relationship, and then they start acting completely different. Sociopaths purposefully choose people who will serve their needs. They have a need to be stimulated constantly—you've always got to be exciting, adventurous, and impulsive. You are this perfect specimen to them, almost like they created you; you have no flaws until you really fucking do. On our first date, he punched a guy in the face for whistling at me. We then went skinny dipping at the beach and drove around all night until sunrise, when he dropped me home and kissed me on the cheek (like I told you—Twilight vibes). On our second date, he told me he loved me. Apparently he had never said that to anyone before. Sociopaths create a world that, of course, you'll believe. Why wouldn't you believe that he saved a woman from being raped by her ex-boyfriend? Or that he saved a young boy from being stabbed by his stepfather? There was always some ki nd of courageous fight that would end in him being the hero. But sociopaths have a tendency to lie, especially during the start of a relationship. Usually to impress, these lies start to build up, something that goes hand in hand with these theatrical stories. Of course he hadn't only had sex with “a couple of special girls”, it turns out he was a serial dater with figures reaching the late 60’s. Wish I had known that before we started doing butt stuff. He moved in with me within a month of our first date. Although this was not my idea, he explained it was the right move for us. We spent every day together— always touching somehow, always sneaking away to have sex no matter where we were, always laughing. We were obnoxiously smug. My friends and family were super cautious about the pace at which we were moving at. Thank god I didn't tell them he was even talking about marriage and kids. Everything was perfect in our little bubble, until I started to notice things I never had before. It started with him asking if I “had a fucking eye problem” whenever any waiter would take our order. He would ask me if I wanted to fuck the waiter and that he should leave because I am disgusting for behaving like that in front of him. So many nights with our friends ended in terrible fights, because I apparently looked at someone for too long, or hadn't checked up on him frequently enough. One minute he was so tender with 33

"I was the girl in the horror film who willingly runs up the stairs instead of out the front fucking door."

me, the next he was pinning me against a wall out of anger. He was love-bombing me, injecting me with a high dose of serotonin and then snatching it away, leaving me begging for more. This is how sociopaths control people. He confided in me once that he would often tell people things that he didn't mean, just so he could get what he wanted at the time. He had this way of deceiving people, always plotting how to get back at people—not often with violence, but with mind control, which he knew he was skilled at. Nearing the end of our romance, I essentially became an object to him. If he wanted his ego stroked, I would be there to do it. When I began to resist, he would lure me back in, always making sure he was the victim and I was the one pushing him away. The manipulation and the way he could make me feel so guilty and anxious honestly impresses me to this day. The more submissive I became to him, the more distant we grew from each other and the more distant I became from myself.

For a while there, I really was Bella Swan. My childhood dream? Not how I imagined it. I know that you're probably thinking I was an idiot for sticking around and all that other cliché bullshit. I agree with you; that’s one of the hardest parts about accepting this situation. I have had to digest my ego and reconcile that I became the weak girl that I had always felt sorry for. I’ve had many hours to overanalyse the fuck out of this situation. It has led me to all sorts of conclusions: Maybe I had Stockholm syndrome, maybe it’s my prevalent daddy issues, or maybe I’m the sociopath—I’m sure a few of my exes would have something to say on that matter.

He started to drive a wedge between me, my family and friends. One night, he sat me down and told me he was afraid of my sanity, that I was delusional. According to him, I had made up the whole relationship we built together. The next day, he came back and said he was being crazy—that he needed me, that he wasn’t complete without me. This rigmarole happened nine times.

There had to have been something wrong with me, right? I was the girl in the horror film who willingly runs up the stairs instead of out the front fucking door. As much as you scream at her, she still runs up those stairs anyway. It took a while, maybe longer than it should have, but I am over it now. I have finally accepted that I was nothing more than a character in his one-man show. What was real for me, wasn't real for him. I’ve had to accept that when he used to hold me, he was never actually touching me. He wasn't the person I thought I fell in love with, he was a character that I wanted him so badly to be—almost like a figment of my imagination. Sometimes I wonder that maybe he, too, wanted to be the guy he so badly tried to be.

Eventually, I wasn’t worthy of him at all. I was always so boring to him; I was never enough. I found myself becoming this manic pixie dream girl, always up for getting fucked up and having wild sex. I was essentially a rag doll to him. He made sure I knew that wasn't good enough, either. At last, we officially broke up. Not to my own knowledge, but to everyone else’s. I was receiving messages asking if I was okay. This confused me, because he had left my house two hours prior, and I was meant to be picking him up from work later. I guess not. I was discarded into the garbage along with the rest of his exes, who I'm sure had great smiles, just like me.

At the core of his charming shell, I know he is a sad person, and for that I really do wish him the best. It’s true—my stomach still drops when I think I see him in my rearview mirror when I’m driving, and the places we used to frequent still make me feel queasy. But at long last, what I can say is that I am so much stronger than before. Even better, I'm no longer the friend who is considered mentally unstable, and for that, I am grateful.

I think (or maybe I’d just like to think?) that he had valued our companionship and time together to a point; though strictly on his terms. I was a plant to him: He liked to water me, he liked looking at me, but ultimately he wanted me to leave him the fuck alone.

I let him go with love and wish him the best in his endeavours. He might need it. 34

Callum Turnbull

sitting down to first listen to that album with the lyrics up on genius.com. When you expose yourself to a new sensory experience, your palette cannot process what you are experiencing fully because it has no frame of reference for it. That shock to my (admittedly tame) musical sensibilities was what helped the album infuse such a paradigm shift.

Freaky Friday (2003) is one of those Disney Channel Originals you’re absolutely sure you saw as a kid. The culmination of Disney cashing in on the death of the 90's, and Lindsay Lohan cashing in on raw talent. Remove the classic “minorities as mystical plot devices” tropes, and you’ve got a middle-of-the-road teen comedy. The central moral lesson of the film—and the only tangible theme I was able to take away after four consecutive viewings—is one of perspective. I grew up in a middle-class family as a straight, white male. The only time I have ever been a stark minority is when I found out I was one of two people in the office who used Apple Music. My parents worked from the ground up in small working-class towns to make a life for themselves. They made sure I knew how fortunate we were. But the life the majority of people in my hometown lived, and the systemic reasons behind that, was something I had to learn myself. It was an experience that seared itself onto my teenage brain: I saw my perspective evolve in front of me the first time I listened to the most iconic album of my adolescence, Kendrick Lamar’s Good Kid m.A.A.d City (2012). I’d stayed away from it for so long, dreading that I would just become the archetypal white kid rap fan. The type of kid you see trying to emulate the “thug life” from their cozy bedroom on the other side of the world, completely missing the point that the day-to-day of this life is not glamorous. Regardless, I decided to dive in. I physically remember

For 45 minutes, I swapped bodies with Kendrick. I had never lost a friend to the life around us, robbed a house to pay bills, or been persecuted by police based on sinister assumptions. Then Pharrell delivers a signature hook; I feel the target on my back, a boot on my chest, and the ground no longer beneath my feet. The beat switches; I’m four deep in a white Toyota, a quarter tank of gas, one pistol, and orange soda. I don’t know why I’m starting trouble—usually I’m a good kid—but in this moment, I’m fuelled by the friends looking for any excuse to do exactly that. Kendrick had spun his tales of turmoil into a hyperbolised yet masterfully illustrated slice of a world that wants to swallow you alive from conception. Of course, it wasn’t possible for me to grasp the full picture of the struggles (both surface and institutional) that minorities in Compton and beyond face day in, day out. But it jolted me into learning more. I wanted to expand my perspective on the issues that fostered the system Kendrick and millions more like him lived within. The release of Kendrick Lamar’s follow-up album To Pimp A Butterﬂy in my first year at uni left me feeling freshly educated. So when I got challenged to a rap battle, I channelled that energy and decommissioned an entire human being by going verse for verse on “Backseat Freestyle”. Not only did this establish the identity I thought I was seeking at university (an entirely different topic for another day), it was the moment that 36

Callum Turnbull

kicked off a long-lasting, pervasive bias to the opinions of the friend that challenged me in the first place.

The good friend and I remain that to this day. Through all the ups and downs and challenges of being in your early 20’s, we still have a profound ability to make each other laugh while say nothing at all. However, there was something I couldn’t shake—why was she trying to impress all the time? I didn’t really believed that she listened to and enjoyed Earl Sweatshirt. I didn’t believe she thought SATURATION II was the best BROCKHAMPTON album. She was always recommending me artists she’d been listening to, but she probably got them from a Complex Top 5 list. Two keywords in those statements: she & I.

I had my own stereotype to face, pedestrian as it was, in approaching hip hop. That stereotype deepened tenfold when I started to imagine what I would have to prove if I were in her shoes. What would I have to demonstrate to fit in? I couldn’t just say I liked GKMC, that could come across as posing. In order to assimilate in this male-centric culture, I would have to know every verse to the remix of “Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe”, the cousin of the sound engineer who worked on “Money Trees”, and why Maya Angelou’s spoken interlude is actually a reference to Tupac. That’s just to sit at the same table as Josh/Daniel/Matt/Jackson/ Ryan/Angus and be considered an equally important voice in the discussion. It was more recently than I’d like to admit that I only truly began to understand how pervasive this mindset was in our conversations. It baffled me how unaware I had been. I had listened to the voices of those around me, but I had never applied those perspectives to my own internal biases. There’s a moment in Freaky Friday where Jamie Lee-Curtis realises the full extent of the pressure her daughter is under—at school, in love, and everything in between. It would be naïve to think anyone could ever reach that kind of enlightenment on every facet of the world around us. But it shouldn’t mean we don’t try at all. Keep listening to the voices of those around you, when they share in their experiences. Embrace the fact you are not all-knowing and let it motivate you.

I had no problem believing those same exact sentiments from a dude I just met at a house party sporting Vans recovered from an archaeological dig. She’s an A-student, driven, that would run circles around me on any number of topics, from literature to how to ruin someone's life on Buzz Jungle Party. I had no justifiable reason to think she was putting on a ‘cool-girl’ facade. She was already cooler than me, what did she have to prove?

Whether your name is Jamie-Lee Curtis, Lindsay Lohan, or Callum Turnbull, you will always have room for more perspective.

She had to prove she was one of the boys. The level of knowledge she had to showcase was five times that of your average Emporium shopper, because she was a woman. Misogyny is a powerful thing. Examples include poorly conceived Tinder icebreakers, 6ix9ine lyrics, and your least favourite uncle’s opinions. More often than not, you can spot this type of bias and call it out for what it is. What you often miss is the internal, deeper sexism that subconsciously shapes your opinions on even the most mundane topics. 37

R Fielden

DON'T BE AFRAID

OF THE KOOL-AID Looking back over my encounters with cults, I like to imagine myself as the main character in a cringe comedy. Meet Fielden (early twenties, naïve, spineless). She’s just moved to Wellington for university. On campus, a random girl invites her to bible study, and Fielden’s that women can only redeem their souls by becoming a weirdo senses tingle, but she’s too shy and awkward to bride and “engaging in sexual union” with him. I’m no decline. theologian, but something about that line of reasoning smells off. The bible study starts out perfectly normal. Things are great, she’s making friends, she’s eating the free Tim Fortunately for me, the cup of Kool-Aid was slapped Tams… It inevitably starts getting weird, but Fielden can’t out of my hand before it ever reached my lips. The back out due to her social incompetence. From there knowledge I’d escaped a Real Live Cult struck me with everything escalates—til, of course, the episode ends a momentary surrealism of the ‘drugs-have-just-hit’ kind, with her slathered in aloe vera, lying in the centre of a which made me laugh. But then I felt sad. The friend candle-wax pentagram, trying to summon the ghost of who broke the news said a lot of girls there had been Katherine Mansfield and pausing only long enough to far more invested in the Providence scouts than my mildbreak the fourth wall and shoot the camera a helpless mannered self. They felt betrayed—and this, I realised, glance. It makes a funny sitcom, apart from the fact is where the long arm of cults casts a less talked-about that it actually happened. Minus the Mansfield séance, shadow: They exploit the human need for community. obviously. Let’s hit pause long enough for me to make two important Five years ago, I agreed to join what I thought was an distinctions. First: I didn’t write this article for shock value. ordinary bible study. I was one of a handful of freshers Sure, if the wacky title and funny intro didn’t reel you in, who’d been roped in. We came consistently, but to be you probably just went ,“Ooh, cults are so fascinating,” honest, I found the study group annoying to fit into my and started reading. Yes, cults fascinate—but let’s never schedule and the teachings a little cracked. But hey! The forget they also traumatise and oppress those stuck in girls who ran it were lovely, and cooked me food far them. I am writing this article because my mother was better than the hostel trough-slop, and besides, this was raised in an Exclusive Brethren family. a new city and I was supposed to be branching out and making connections and becoming independent, right? Exclusives are a Christian-based sect, a little like ...Right? Gloriavale if it were integrated more into society. My mum left the Exclusives in her late teens, became a Police investigation began within a matter of months. Christian, and has been one ever since. This indicates Those bible study girls, I was told, were not your average that, rather than God or religion being the issue, it’s joe-blo Christians. They were recruiters for a cult called the spin people put on faith that creates such horrific Providence. environments—another important distinction to make. Providence, formed by Jung Myung-seok—a rapist currently jailed in South Korea—has since infiltrated schools in Japan, Taiwan, Australia, and Aotearoa. The Providence cult teaches that Jung is the Messiah and

R Fielden

"There’s this weird stereotype that says people can’t think for themselves inside a community—as if by agreeing with someone or having a shared interest, your frontal lobe immediately shuts down and turns you into a drone."

But back to big, bad communities. How can you tell when you’re being exploited? My mum tells me that it’s a real boiling frog-type situation, especially when “there’s nothing to gauge what’s right or wrong because you don’t know any different”. In the Exclusives, everyone has to dress a certain way—always full-length trousers for men because “there’s no glory in a man’s legs”, and always long hair for women, because “their hair is their glory”. There’s no eating with people who are “of the world”, no visiting their house, or inviting them to yours. You must live this way in obedience to God, otherwise you will go to Hell. Fortunately for me, my mum harboured a “spirit of rebellion”. This meant she questioned everything. “I knew that—in their eyes, at least—I was heading to hell,” she says. “It seemed impossible to please God, so I thought I might as well live it up while I could.” Thus, she got out. None of Mum’s siblings have ever left the Exclusives, bar one. To us who inhabit the World, it seems incredible. How could anyone bear living in constant fear of hellfire? Well, my mum says, how could they leave? Imagine losing everything—your family, your friends, your entire support network—for the freedom to navigate life in a frightening and unknown society. When Mum left, she didn’t even know how to order off the menu in a restaurant. “You were like a little island in the ocean,” she says, “and people out here couldn’t grasp what you’d come from.” Yes, leaving is the most difficult act imaginable. I know if I’d been in my mother’s place, I’d now be long-haired, head-scarfed, and pregnant with my eighth child, because it’s easier to stay. Leaving a cult takes enormous strength and courage. Ironically, in a society that worships the individual above all else, cults like Providence and the Exclusives only reinforce a fear of community for us. Part of the reason they fascinate us is because we fear them. I have friends who avoid churches and even social clubs because they dislike environments where “everyone’s the same”, or doing the same thing, or believing the same idea. There’s this weird stereotype that says people can’t think for themselves inside a community—as if by agreeing with someone or having a shared interest, your frontal lobe immediately shuts down and turns you into a drone.

But that’s stupid. Do I even need to say it? Not all communities are cults. We mustn’t confuse the two and freak ourselves out. Yeah, cults are among the most sinister things in existence, but humans are fundamentally social. You can’t waltz through life dodging every social gathering upwards of two people for fear you might end up being sacrificed to a moon goddess or something. Nor can you be completely open to everything, or you’ll get eaten alive. So how do you navigate this? Remember that cults operate on a basis of fear. In fearing the qualities of community that they typically exploit, you are just as bound as a person living in one. You have a brain. You can think critically, so know that when you find yourself acting solely out of fear—that’s when something’s not right in your social circle. The trick is to be both careful and unassuming—cunning as snakes, innocent as doves.

CHA OTI C WHO LES O M E ENERGY

ARIES

LIBRA

Kia kaha, kia māia, kia manawanui.

Au pire, tu vaux encore mieux que certaines personnes à leur meilleur.

TAURUS

SCORPIO

Fai quello che puoi, dove sei, con quello che hai.

GEMINI

No dejes que te quiten lo que te hace diferente de los demás.

You're making proud.

them

SAGITTARIUS

Ik ben blij dat je bestaat. We hebben meer mensen zoals jij nodig in deze wereld.

CANCER

Oo-yay ake-may ee-may appy-hay oo-tay ee-bay ee-may. LEO

Когда я вырасту, я хочу быть такой же, как ты. VIRGO

CAPRICORN

Mach weiter so! Es wird sich alles auszahlen. AQUARIUS

Todos os dias você me ensina algo novo sem me fazer sentir estúpido. PISCES

Jestem tak podekscytowany tym, kim się stajesz.

Do you take the kind of classes that have lecturers who could read the class to sleep by reading erotica? Vic Uni has some of the greatest and worst lectures on earth. Salient is now here to critique and rate them like your local chippie. THIS WEEK'S LECTURE: PHYS 209

Do you like knowing more than your fellow peers about the most basic and intrinsic elements of the universe while having absolutely zero conversational ability? Do you want to dedicate your studies to a logicbased career but attend the antithesis to that goal? And do you non-male students want to spend the next trimester being undervalued because of your gender? Then PHYS 209: Physics of the Planets and Earth at Victoria is what you need! Nothing tops this paper in its ability to destroy social skills. It has everything you need: awkward answers shouted when teachers pick you out because no one else wants to speak, three-hour labs with randoms you hardly know, failed attempts at shared lunches when only one person shows up with cookies (freshly baked… from Countdown). It’s every young child’s dream to have no friends and, boy, does this paper deliver. At the end of the trimester, you’ll wave goodbye to the only person you sat next to, wishing that you’d never sat next to them in the first place, because they always messaged you for assignment answers. The lab organisational skills, on the other hand—now these are truly something to write home about. You’re got last-minute lab time changes, lab co-ordinators that don’t know that labs are happening and subsequently don’t show up, and poorly written lab scripts. It’s a trifecta of disorganisation. The holy trinity. If that doesn’t sell you, I don’t know what will. And for you non-male identifying folk out there, PHYS 209 is truly a place you want to be (if you never want to be taken seriously ever again). If the content doesn’t challenge you enough, then I can assure you, your fellow student physicists and lecturers will! They’ll question your knowledge every time you suggest an idea or solution, which will never get old. It will push you to rethink your basic human rights, in a way no other course will. Aside from all this, physics truly is a wonderful topic. You’ll be able to boast about the fact that you know all about the origins of water on Earth and how the Earth’s tides are created. I’d definitely come again (because failure rate is high).

BRAIN-TRAINING OR TIME-WASTING

Be sure to tune into the first words of the starred entries.

DOWN

ACROSS

1. Using selfishly; manoeuvring (12) 2. One who gets into a habit? (3) 3. Pivot (6) 4. Exactly what you would expect (7) 5. Like some numerals or baths (5) 6. 'You Wouldn't Steal a Car...' activity (6) 7. The Rolling Stones, The Stone Roses... or just some stones? (4,5) 8. Regular solid with pentagonal faces (12) 12. Verdi opera based on a story, written by Victor Hugo, about a hunchback (no, not that one) (9) 16. Superman's home planet (7) 18. Raise; improve the morale of (6) 19. Italian iced dessert (6) 22. Sport named after an English school (5) 25. Name of a main character in Digimon or Clueless (3)

1. 2002 action film set that follows John Anderton, the Chief of PreCrime (8,6) 9. Without a break (3-4) 10. Only African country to have coastlines on both the Atlantic and Mediterranean (7) 11. Relating to fireworks (11) 13. "___ whiz!" ("That sure is something!") (3) 14. Danish toy whose name is always stylised in all-caps (4) 15. Illustrator Quentin or actress Lively (5) 17. Star explosion (4) 20. "Don't Stop ___ You Get Enough" (1970s hit song) (3) 21. Individuals found at every social event (5,6) 23. "You can ignore what I just said" (7) 24. Appliance that flew in an old screensaver design (7) 26. Stunningly graceful athletic performance, or a hint to the letters in the grey squares? (6,2,6)

WHY DON'T THEY SELL VB'S AT VICBOOKS? For the last two weeks, you’ve been reading a magazine that wasn’t edited by me. Rather, by people who know more about the Feminist and Queer spaces in Wellington than I ever will. Thank you to every single student that contributed to both of those magazines.

week. If you wanted that, I would borrow a journalism student from Massey to get a halfassed article about leaky flats—but I’m not about to compete with a student of journalism that sucks the ice out of their last cup of cider for that last little hit of alcohol. This week, there are two crosswords. The whole magazine has been flipped, putting the art reviews at the front, near the news, and keeping the more creative pieces back here. Search for the shit you want to read, and stumble upon the stuff you didn’t want to. The table of contents will be of as much use to you as a key to a crossword that doesn’t have enough squares in it.

In the time that I’ve been away, I watched and reported on the Ihumātao protest from Parliament, I found out that someone attempted to drug my drink, and I received fan mail asking me on a date for the first time. It’s been Freaky, but sadly I don’t work on Fridays. I like to read other magazines and reminisce on the days I could look forward to seeing my words printed in ink on a piece of paper. To look across the Hub into VicBooks and see someone holding a Salient, imagining that they were on my page.

The Taboo issue was about things we felt weren’t conversational topics. This week, the pieces we published are of those that not even we felt comfortable listening to. Cringeworthy and horrid experiences that make us uncomfortable to even be in the presence of. Somehow, even when you go on Twitter to say you ‘don’t even read Salient because it was shit in 2016’, you will lay awake at night reading about our writer who dated a sociopath. Or about someone who spent years inside a cult. Because there’s that burning urge to do the dirty and get freaky when no one’s watching.

Freaky Friday was the worst movie I ever had the displeasure of seeing in cinemas, and “Freaky Friday” by Lil Dicky was even worse, which is impressive. Callum, our social media guy, has been joking about doing a Freaky Friday issue for the last 15 months. You know when your friend makes a joke that was funny the first three or four times, but now every time he says it, you imagine different ways you could yeet him out of a window? Yeah, that’s been the last year of our friendship.

Just remember, if you use my name on Twitter @ me and pull up.

During my break, I log onto Twitter to see the talk about our magazine being too sappy, too sad. People want to read about other people getting fucked up. Drugs, glory hole hikes and hysteria-inducing hookups. Top 10 mullets and sex position reviews. Do we look like Critic? Does my writing team look like a bowl of warm mayonnaise with nothing else to review but sex and drugs? Stiff as fuck and writing stories about stolen flat signs that get more coverage than sexual assaults at halls of residence? As if people don’t just skip to the back and see if Wellington’s hottest couple got drunk enough to have an average root last

Kii Small

"LOOK, I'M A WALRUS"

GOOD NEWS POP QUIZ

PICK YOUR POISON, SUDOKU LOVERS

0.42) 9

EASY PEASY Puzzle 2 (Easy, difficulty rating 0.37)

1 8

25 8 68 17

7 8

3 32

97 6

1. In order to help other children to read, what do two young sisters from Delaware do each night?

Puzzle 2 (Very hard, difficulty rating 0.89)

96 11 7

83 69

3 2

4 3 7

3 8

5 42

5 3

3 7

2. What iconic film franchise has now cast a woman of colour in a leading role?

3. After a two-year-old boy in Ohio was reported missing, where was he found?

1. They read bed-time stories on Facebook live. The sisters have almost 100 viewers every night! 2. James Bond. Lashana Lynch will be taking over Daniel Craig as the new 007 in the new James Bond movie. 3. At a nearby fair, which he ‘drove’ himself to on his toy tractor.

ating 0.82)

F*CK YA LIFE UP

ating 0.75)

0.34)

2 3 66

8 7 1 4

Puzzle 4 (Very hard, difficulty rating 0.76)

Puzzle 44(Easy, 1 difficulty rating 6 0.43)

55 5 6 5

4 3

4 19

6 2 5

8 3

1 7

1 4 7

7 99 8 28

91 1 47

ca/sudoku on Wed Jul 24 21:50:45 2019 GMT. Enjoy!

8 2

WORD OF THE WEEK: "PECULIAR"

6 57

TE REO MĀORI

whanokē

NEW ZEALAND SIGN LANGUAGE

ca/sudoku on Wed Jul 24 21:50:15 2019 GMT. Enjoy!

NOTES:

CONTIKI EUROPE 2020

AT 2019 PRICES

STA TRAVEL VIC UNI KELBURN PARADE

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OVERHEARD AT KJ FINN BLACKWELL

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