Issue 01 | And So It Begins

Issue #1

Jacinda's Pregnant Now Everyone Freak Out Pg 18

Volume 81

And So It Begins

Our Parents Were Not Given the Tool to Understanding Queerness Pg 24

The Cases for and Against Charter Schools Pg 28

Contents

EDITOR'S LETTER 3 NEWS News 4 Politics 7 *News* 8 Scalding Hot Takes 9 INTERVIEW 10 LETTERS & NOTICES 12 COLUMNS Presidential Address 13 VUWSA 13 Te Ara Tauira 14 UniQ 14 Environment 15 SWAT 16 PGSA 16 Super Science Trends 17 Salient FM 21 Salient TV 21 FEATURES Jacinda's Pregnant 18 Hey You, Take a Hike! 22 Doors & Windows 24 Cases for and Against Charter Schools 28 REVIEWS Television 32 Film 33 Music 34 Books 35 Podcast 37 Food 38 *Art* 39 Theatre 40 Art 41 ENTERTAINMENT Horoscope 42 Disctractions 43

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Editor's Letter LOUISE LIN

The cover is about you folk starting uni, by the way.

It’s a visual metaphor.

I remember when the “ban the bag” campaign first started. It was ages ago. I was in year 10 or something. It’s taken a while to get to this point, when “ban the bag” has the backing of mainstream media, and 65,000 signatures in a petition.

I googled “jungle” so I could say something dire about our jungles dying out, but all that popped up was a movie starring Daniel Radcliffe and a British soul band. Turns out that no one uses “jungle” in the literal sense anymore. Is that a marker of the growing distance between humans and nature? Maybe people are just using other words, such as “rainforest” or “bush”, to refer of clumps of trees growing together instead.

Plastic bags are just the beginning, really. We’re using plastic for pretty much everything and we’re gonna need to cut all that out at some point. But “ban the water bottle” will probably take another five years to get mainstream traction, never mind “ban the plastic fork” or even just plain old “ban the plastic”....

My friend who works for the Green party was telling me about the “ban the plastic bags” petition read out in Parliament last Wednesday.

“It was real cute,” she said.

“There were kindergarten kids who drew pictures of turtles suffocating in plastic to give to Parliament, cos they didn’t know how to write.”

Poor turtles, suffocating in plastic. Poor jungle, regulated to the realm of mythical and imaginary.

I know I’m s’posed to tell you to buy a keep cup or some shite, but the reality is, you’re gonna buy a keep cup, use it a few times, then forget it. I don’t blame you, I’ve done exactly the same. Government regulation is much more effective than relying on the assiduous efforts and consciences of individuals.

There’s about 8 million tons of plastic that goes into the ocean every year. By 2050 there will be more plastic in the ocean than fish.

I was listening to the AM show. Jacinda was on, and Duncan Garner was asking her if she was gonna ban the bag. She said that the government is finalising a strategy. Helen Clark came on and said that the government should act. She cut out when Duncan asked her why she didn’t ban them when she was in charge. The AM show hosts said that they personally don’t use plastic bags anymore. They're not greenies.

They're just doing the right thing.

Anyway kids, welcome to the first week of uni. It’ll be new and exciting for at least a few more weeks. Have fun. Stay healthy.

With love, Your editor

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NEWS JAIME WHYTE UNDER FIRE FOR CONTROVERSIAL OPINION PIECE Former ACT Party Leader Jamie Whyte has penned an opinion piece published by The Telegraph, which has received heavy criticism online.

Entitled “Why does your desire for a cleaner ocean trump the pleasure I get from drinking through a plastic straw?”, Whyte challenges a suggestion from the British Secretary of State for the Environment Michael Gove that plastic straws be banned in the UK. Twitter user @danielhowdon brought the article’s headline to the internet’s attention.

The resulting thread and retweets questioned both the legitimacy and seriousness of the article. While there has been no clear indication that the piece was facetious, many Twitter users suggested Whyte “must have been taking the piss”.

The lines “Will Mr Gove ban chicken?” and “Mr Gove’s new principle is authoritarian nonsense. Anyone with the slightest regard for liberty should be appalled,” came under particular scrutiny.

Mr Whyte has previously come under fire as ACT Leader when he suggested incest should be decriminalised in New Zealand, a statement for which he subsequently apologised.

One Twitter user indicated the problem could be resolved through the use of paper straws, pointing out that they work just as well, and easily biodegrade.

The issue of plastic waste has a growing profile, with an online petition to ban the use of plastic bags in New Zealand receiving some 67,000 signatures.

The online petition by Greenpeace stated that 8.3 million tonnes of plastic enters the ocean every year.

The article was included as premium content on The Telegraph website.

- Johnny O’Hagan Brebner

POLSOC HOSTS WOMEN IN POLITICS EVENT On Wednesday 28 February 2018 the Victoria University Politics Society hosted its first event of the year, Women in Politics: Encouraging Leadership.

The panel included Deputy Leader of the National Party Paula Bennett, Labour MP Louisa Wall, Green MP Golriz Ghahraman, and New Zealand First MP Tracey Martin.

The MPs opened up about their experiences as women and as members of other marginalised groups in politics, crediting support networks — both formal and informal — for facilitating an increasing number of women in office in recent years.

A key theme to emerge from the discussion was the difference in how male and female politicians are treated by the public and on social media. Ghahraman received death threats last year, which were referred to Interpol, and Bennett got lawyers involved over an “onslaught” of social media abuse in 2017.

“When’s the last time a male politician got accused of being a gigolo?” Martin said.

President of the Politics Society William Wilkinson said the aim of the Society in 2017 was “to invoke discussion and friendly political debate so that all sides of the political spectrum can have a say on a nonpartisan playing field”.

Future Victoria University Political Society enterprises (dates to be confirmed) will include the Political Society AGM, Drinks with Politicians, and political story writing competitions.

-Jamie Schouten

ANDREW LITTLE PROPOSES CRIMINAL JUSTICE OVERHAUL Justice Minister Andrew Little has highlighted a need for extensive criminal justice reform in New Zealand. Little believes the tough penalties imposed on criminals under the “so-called law-andorder policies” of the last thirty years have failed in their goal of reducing crime.

“New Zealand needs to completely change the way criminal justice works,” he said in an interview with the New Zealand Herald. “It is a big challenge we are facing.

It's not an issue that's been a short time in the making.”

New Zealand experienced a rapid increase in the prison population between 2010 and 2017, with incarceration numbers rising from 8244 to 10,500. This number is expected to soar to over 12,000 by 2026, according to a Department of Corrections Briefing.

Little attributed increasing prisoner numbers to “30 years of public policymaking that says we need tougher sentences and to criminalise more behaviour”.

New Zealand currently sits at number eight in the OECD for imprisonment rates, with 199 people incarcerated for every 100,000. The current government has pledged to drop the prison population by 30% over the next 15 years.

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“More people being criminalised, more people being sentenced to prison, is that doing anybody any good? A large chunk of prisoners have a whole bunch of other problems that, if fixed, might stop them going into prison in the first place."

Little also noted the poor conditions in New Zealand prisons as contributing to the problem. He told Newshub Nation that he was “frankly horrified” when he visited Waikeria prison, and that it was “built for a different time,” Little said.

“You have to ask yourself whether this is a place where someone can go from being bad to being good.”

Little has proposed a systemic approach aimed at early intervention and prisoner education, with a focus on rehabilitation and reintegration rather than on punishment.

- Harry Clatworthy

KICK-OFF TO THE NZ FESTIVAL: KUPE Kupe, the event that drew thousands to the Wellington Waterfront on Friday 23 February, signalled the start of the 2018 New Zealand Festival.

The event was “inspired by the arrival in Aotearoa of [the] great navigator and explorer Kupe,” and celebrated the shared culture of voyaging between Samoa, New Zealand, and the Cook Islands.

Kupe took place in three parts.

The first focussed on the performers representing Kupe and Kuramarotini on either corner of the waterfront, beckoning to the incoming waka. For the four doublehulled sailing canoes – for the waka hourua – sailing into Wellington Harbour, Kupe was the conclusion of their journey from Auckland, through Tauranga and Napier, which lasted nearly four weeks.

The more abstract and stylized second part of Kupe was the floating representation of the star that guided the first voyagers to New Zealand.

The conclusion of Kupe, the thousand strong haka, welcomed the voyagers into land.

Warren Maxwell, the composer of the event, compared the music he wrote for the event to the work of David Bowie, in its transformation from “being a cultural trip to a galactic adventure”.

The event, involving over a thousand performers including Te Kohe Tuhaka as Kupe and Maisey Rika as Kuramarotini, was planned and executed by A Waka Odyssey creative team consisting of Anna Marbrook, Hoturoa Barclay-Kerr and Kasia Pol. - Olivia Philip

NEWS

PYEONGCHANG WINTER OLYMPICS DRAWS TO CLOSE Sunday 25 February 2018 saw the Closing Ceremony of the PyeongChang 2018 Winter Olympics.

Norway gained the top position on the medal table with 14 gold, and 39 medals total. The win was secured by Norway’s Marit Bjørgen, who won the final gold medal of the Games in the 30km crosscountry ski. The medal was Bjørgen’s 15th, making her the most decorated Winter Olympian in history.

Germany came in second with 14 gold, and 31 medals total, with Canada in third place earning 11 gold medals out of a total of 29.

The Canadians will be hurting, however, after losing to the United States in the women’s ice hockey final by a single goal in a dramatic penalty shootout.

New Zealand, meanwhile, had its best Winter Olympics yet after two bronze medals were won by a pair of 16 year olds, Zoi Sadowski Synnott and Nico Porteous.

Synnott secured her bronze in the snowboard Big Air with a score of 92.00 on her second run. It was the second best single run score of the day, behind Austrian gold medalist Anna Gasser’s score of 96.00.

Porteous followed up with a bronze in the freestyle skiing halfpipe, making it the first time in history that New Zealand has won two medals in the Winter Olympics.

Fellow Kiwi, Beau-James Wells, was pushing Porteous for the final podium spot, but Porteous’s second run score of 94.80 proved enough to beat his compatriot’s final run of 91.60.

The 2022 Winter Olympics will be held in Beijing. With the two young medalists leading the New Zealand team, hopes will be high for more success.

-Tom Danby

WAITAKERE RANGES CLOSURE In an announcement on 20 February 2018, Auckland Council unanimously voted to close “all forested areas” of the Waitākere Ranges, in a bid to prevent the spread of Kauri Dieback Disease.

The Council also declared intentions to close high-risk tracks in the Hunua Ranges – an area yet to be infected with the disease – by 1 May 2018.

In a statement on their website, local iwi Te Kawerau ā Maki stated: “The Waitākere Ranges Heritage Area Act (2008) directs the Government and Auckland Council to ensure the protection and enhancement of the Waitākere Ranges Heritage Area. Te Tiriti o Waitangi requires the Government to protect tangata whenua

and our taonga.”

Kauri Dieback Disease is observed predominantly within 50m of walking tracks.

A rāhui – a temporary customary prohibition – was placed on the Waitākere Ranges by Te Kawerau ā Maki on 2 December 2017.

The Auckland Council Environment and Community Committee previously overlooked the rāhui in its 5 December 2017 announcement to keep the Waitākere Ranges open, and close only several highrisk and medium-risk tracks. The decision was described as a ‘balanced’ approach to combating Kauri Dieback Disease.

Auckland Mayor Phil Goff justified the December decision by explaining a full closure of the Waitākere Ranges would be near impossible to police.

During an address to Parliament on 21 February 2018, Green Party MP Marama Davidson described the situation in the Waitākere ranges as “one of the greatest biodiversity crises of our time”.

She further encouraged the House to work “at the table” with iwi to protect the kauri – the tūpuna (ancestors) and rangatira (chiefs) of the forest – for future generations.

“We have to think about respecting Te Tiriti; respecting mana whenua; respecting Mātauranga Māori; respecting our generations of children to come; respecting the trees.”

There is currently no cure for Kauri Dieback disease, however closure of the Waitākere Ranges hopes to slow its spread by reducing transmission via human carriers.

- Genevive Dowry

WELLINGTON COMES OUT FOR PRIDE FESTIVAL Wellington’s annual Pride Festival kicked off at Waitangi Park on Saturday 24 February with Out in the Park.

The much-loved “queer fair” was first celebrated in 1986 to rally support for the Homosexual Law Reform Act, and has since expanded into the two-week Wellington Pride Festival.

Now in its thirty-second year, Out in the Park was a joyfully, fabulously, openly queer affair. More than 10,000 Wellingtonians of all genders and sexualities basked in the sun, enjoyed entertainment from drag queens and kings, and engaged with more than 70 stalls giving out free flags, badges, and stickers.

InsideOUT Co-Chair Kate Aschoff considered the event a success, especially for Wellington’s young queer community.

“Out in the Park was a wonderful time for youth, we’re especially proud of the rangatahi who led the youth walk to the park, and the organisers for making

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efforts to include young performers in the entertainment.”

The Wellington Pride Festival continues throughout this week, concluding Saturday 10 March with the annual International Pride Parade. The full programme for Pride can be found on the festival’s website.

- Laura Sutherland

MICHAEL MCCORMACK ELECTED DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER OF AUSTRALIA Michael McCormack has been elected as Deputy Prime Minister of Australia, in the wake of Barnaby Joyce’s resignation on Friday 23 February 2018.

Joyce resigned amid controversy surrounding sexual assault allegations released by West Australian Rural Woman of the year Catherine Marriott, and his affair with now-pregnant former staffer Vikki Campion.

McCormack’s elevation to leader of the National Party and Deputy Prime Minister of Australia has also proved contentious. In 1993, as editor of the Wagga Wagga paper The Daily Advertiser, McCormack penned an article entitled “Sordid homosexuality – it’s becoming more entrenched”.

Published “from the editor’s desk,” the article attributes the AIDs epidemic to the gay community, describes those condemning homosexuality as exhibiting “moral backbone,” and writes, “unfortunately gays are here and, if the disease their unnatural acts helped spread doesn’t wipe out humanity, they’re here to stay”.

“I apologised for it – I have moved on from it and as far as I’m concerned, that’s the end of it,” McCormack said in an interview with the ABC in 2010.

“I have grown and learned not only to tolerate but to accept all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, or any other trait or feature which makes each of us different and unique,” McCormack reiterated in a statement amid the marriage equality debate in August 2017.

McCormack has apologised on multiple occasions for the column in recent years, and voted yes to same-sex marriage last year, at the will of his constituents.

- Jamie Schouten

NEWS

DON'T GUESS THE YES CAMPAIGN LAUNCH The new “Don’t Guess the Yes” anti-sexual violence campaign was launched on 23 February 2018, in time for O-Week.

The campaign emphasises gaining active consent from prospective sexual partners, with a strong focus on prevention.

The campaign has been a collaboration between Wellington City Council, The New Zealand Police, The Sexual Abuse Prevention Network, and the Massey Wellington and Victoria University Wellington Student Associations.

Other groups and individuals were also acknowledged as significant to the campaign: The Wellington Youth Council, MOSAIC, Eva McGauley, and Deputy Mayor Jill Day, in particular were recognised.

Both Fiona McNamara of the Sexual Violence Prevention Network and Undersecretary for Justice Jan Logie outlined their desires to eliminate sexual violence in their lifetimes.

McNamara further said that sexual violence will affect everyone, but that she considered it “absolutely preventable”.

Detective Sergeant Ben Quinn, a member of the Wellington Police Sexual Assault Team, explained that a rise in the sexual assault rate in Wellington in 2017 had spurred the campaign.

The campaign targets young men as the most likely demographic to commit sexual assault, and young women those most likely to be victims.

Quinn also acknowledged the variety of ways sexual assault manifests, and that targeting people other than perpetrators and victims was important for prevention.

This is a goal of the police’s broader #MakeBetterDecisions campaign.

Councillor Fleur Fitzsimons also hoped to eliminate sexual violence in Wellington, indicating that a campaign similar to this would have been unheard of when she was at university.

She said it was an important message to get out that “consent is active”.

The Victoria University of Wellington and the Massey Wellington Campus Student Associations had been involved with the project for several weeks, mainly around the content and wording of the campaign.

In a joint Student Association statement, Victoria University of Wellington Student Association President Marlon Drake said both student unions were committed to ending sexual violence in the city.

Massey Wellington Student Association President Emma Pearce said the campaign was about promoting the idea of “treating others with respect”.

The launch was held at Danger Danger on Friday 23 February, just prior to the commencement of O-Week at Victoria

University.

Wellington Sexual Abuse Help Foundation — 04 801 6655 See the Victoria Campus Health Website for more contact details.

-Johnny O’Hagan Brebner

DISARMAMENT PORTFOLIO BROUGHT BACK The Government is bringing back the cabinet role of Minister for Disarmament and Arms Control, with Winston Peters being appointed to the position.

In her first major foreign policy speech, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced the reinstatement of the ministerial portfolio to an audience at the New Zealand Institute of International Affairs last Tuesday 27 February.

The role was removed from the cabinet portfolio in 2011 under the previous National Government. Currently New Zealand’s efforts towards weapons disarmament are carried out through the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade.

“The portfolio responsibility will be given to Rt Hon Winston Peters, and is an acknowledgment of the emphasis this government places on our long held antinuclear stance, and the role we must play now and in the future,” Ardern said.

Ardern said the ministerial role will target the spread of nuclear, chemical, and conventional weapons.

She also affirmed the Government’s commitment to disarmament in the Pacific region. “The pursuit of disarmament is as vital today as it was when Norman Kirk and David Lange proclaimed New Zealand’s opposition to nuclear weapons and nuclear testing in the Pacific”.

“Risks to global peace and security are growing. The greatest challenge we have today comes from North Korea, situated right here in our region.”

Dr Van Jackson, a Senior Lecturer in International Relations at Victoria University, told Salient that the North Korea situation is the most prevailing issue in terms New Zealand’s nuclear disarmament goals.

“If you feel strongly about nuclear proliferation, then it makes sense to prioritize the North Korea issue. For a long time, New Zealand treated the North Korea issue as somehow separate from their nuclear non-proliferation agenda.”

“North Korea is one hell of an affront to any notion of a nuclear-free world.

So Arden’s speech was significant in deliberately re-linking these twin issues of nukes and North Korea.”

Dr Van Jackson said that the reinstatement of the role was an important symbolic gesture to anti-nuclear efforts, but questioned how much of a commitment against weapons proliferation this was from

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Ardern and Peters.

“The Government’s virtue signalling on disarmament is very meagre means put in service of an impossibly large goal.

So strategically there’s an imbalance in what the government is announcing, and that should be cause to have measured expectations.”

The Auckland Peace Action member Valerie Morse has said the reinstatement of the role is “a good sign” from the NZ government.

- Angus Shaw

OBAMA & CLINTON TO VISIT NZ Following the growing theme of American billionaires escaping to New Zealand, former American President Barack Obama and former American Secretary of State Hillary Clinton have announced upcoming visits to New Zealand.

Obama will be the first to arrive when he lands on 21 March 2018 for a two day visit.

The NZ-US Council, a non-profit group dedicated to strengthening ties between the two countries, set up the event. Chairman of the council Leon Grice promoted the visit, saying “President Obama's presidency had an extraordinary impact on the world and during his service, New Zealand's deep friendship with the United States was strengthened politically, culturally, in trade and investment, innovation and security”.

In order to afford such a high-profile guest, Air New Zealand stepped in to sponsor the former President’s visit. Sir John Key currently sits on the Air New Zealand board of directors, and has managed to arrange a round of golf between the two former world leaders while they’re both in Auckland.

A couple of months later in May, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton will be arriving in Auckland. Clinton is doing the rounds giving a “candid account” of the 2016 US Presidential election. It will cost a controversial $195NZD per regular ticket and $495NZD per VIP ticket to see her speak on tour in New Zealand.

This will be Obama’s first visit to New Zealand, and Clinton’s third. Clinton travelled the Pacific extensively during her time as Secretary of State to promote her foreign policy goal, “a pivot to Asia”, in which she famously improved NZ-US military ties following a tense 30-year period after New Zealand went nuclear free in the 1980s.

Prime Minister Ardern is scheduled to meet Obama during his visit, no word yet on whether she will meet up with Clinton.

- Chris Nixon

POLITICAL ROUND-UP National Party Leadership Announced The National Party Caucus has elected Simon Bridges as leader of the National Party, announced Tuesday 27 February.

Bridges was confirmed as the new National leader after two ballot votes were held. Protocol for the selection of leadership in the National Party dictates that if no outright majority emerges after the first round of the voting, the two lowest scoring MPs then drop out, and another round of voting is held.

He will be first Māori leader of the National party, with Paula Bennett, who is also of Māori descent, confirmed to stay on as deputy leader.

In his first speech to media as the new National Party leader, Bridges said he looks forward to engaging with Māori.

“I hope Māori who have traditionally been with New Zealand First, and at times with Labour, will give us a second look, will think about us and what we mean, and the opportunities that we present for Māori.”

Bridges also signalled that National would be placing a greater emphasis on the environment but abstained from discussing specific policy in this area. He did however indicate interest in the potential of working with the Green Party in the future.

In his leadership announcement Bridges emphasised the need to modernise the National party by bringing in new talent.

He touched on the “reshuffling” planned for National, and his vision for the future of the party being “generational change”.

National is yet to confirm any specific shadow cabinet roles, but confirmed the other leadership candidates would be offered key positions.

“We will [...] be an alternative government in waiting, with a clear and positive plan for the 2020s.”

New Zealand First Deputy Announced Winston Peters has announced that New Zealand First’s new deputy leader is Fletcher Tabuteau, following a caucus meeting on 27 February 2018. His new role will include Parliamentary UnderSecretary to the Minister of Foreign Affairs and to the Minister for Regional Economic Development.

Despite the confidence with which Tabuteau’s appointment was met from his co-workers, reporter Lloyd Burr has doubts about the new deputy leader’s efficacy, referring to him as a “relative newcomer”.

Tabuteau says he “wants the best for the people of New Zealand”, and for the government to make decisions in the best interests of the population.

Tabuteau has experience within the tourism, business consulting, and marketing industries. Before his position in Parliament, he was a lecturer in economics and business.

Government Plans for Education New Zealand’s educational reputation has come under fire during an investigation this week. According to Labour MP Chris Hipkins, research shows that National “failed” schools and students during their time in Government, reporting a 40% drop in numbers of people enrolled in teacher training.

Hipkins also stated that tertiary enrolments overall declined between 2010 and 2016.

Despite Hipkins’ criticism of the late National Government, Labour’s newly introduced “fees free” first year policy for tertiary students is yet to prove substantively effective in bolstering first year enrolment numbers.

Victoria University has stated, “It is too early in the enrolment process to comment with any accuracy. In general terms, enrolments for 2018 across Victoria University are either on a par with 2017 or somewhat ahead. Similarly, we are as yet unable to make any comment on the impact of the fees free policy”.

Hipkins still believes that the Labour government will improve the standards for students and teachers, by introducing a 9.5 million teacher supply package before Christmas. He also said that Labour “have started the ball rolling on ways to tackle the long term strategic issue of making the teaching profession more attractive”.

He did not say how or when this will be achieved by the new Government.

- Rhiannon Thomas & Poppy Donoghue

THE PARTY LINE This week in the news, a student from Pakuranga College tried to wear a colander on his head for his school photos, citing his religion as Pastafarian. His school refused to allow him.

What are your stances on wearing religious attire in public, at school, and in places of employment?"

Labour at Vic Wow, who would’ve thought this kid, this happy go lucky teen, would spark such a wholesome, meaningful debate in our student magazine. The kid certainly didn’t think so!

The Labour Party has historically supported religious freedoms.

As Pastafarianism is an official religion of New Zealand, it is thus included in this. There is debate as to whether Pastafarianism was created as a “satirical religion” (quoted from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster website), but regardless of this, if any other recognised religion or perhaps an existing cultural norm is being targeted then we would of course defend the kid.

In the Labour Party’s constitution it

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states that “the same basic human rights... apply to all people...regardless of...religious faith”.

-Teri O’Neill Vic Nats The Young Nats have always supported individuals right to religious freedom. As long as their clothing does not wrongfully impact others or breach BORA, then we have no problem with people wearing religious dress. Regardless of it being at home, in public, or in the workplace.

-Grahame Woods Young Greens Whilst I admire his commitment to his longstanding religious beliefs, there’s a rather large hole (or rather, multiple small holes) in his demands for his Pastafarian background to be respected. He cites no religious text, or other group of Pastafarians fighting oppression in the dreaded school hall on photo day.

However, some say that religion was created in place of having all of the answers to humanity’s existence. For him to conclude that the answer was pasta, is a groundbreaking explanation that has been staring us in the face for years. The beautiful, carb-filled spirals of pasta, so easy to heat up, and oh so cheap, is obviously the reason we exist in the first place.

While his smart-ass, authorityquestioning measure brought a smile to my face and a frown to his teachers', it may not have been the most productive way for him to communicate his groundbreaking discovery for the reason behind our existence. Regardless, I am converting to be a Pastafarian, and in place of my Green tinfoil hat, I will proudly wear a colander. The Green Party proudly stands in solidarity with colanders and other prohibited religious headwear.

-Max Tweedie Insights From My Dad Okay, well, my first reaction was “what the hell is a Pastafarian”… then I re-read the question and the reference to a colander sort of gave it away.

The way I look at it is that throughout history, cultures have worshiped many different imaginary friends, not always with a great deal of tolerance for one another.

What’s so bad about wearing a colander, or a tea cosy, or whatever? No one loses an eye, right?! So yes, obviously he should be allowed to wear the colander. In this liberal day and age it is extremely important for all races and creeds to be allowed to express their religious beliefs without ridicule or judgement by wearing a cross or a colander.

The dude likes pasta, where is the harm in worshiping Italian cuisine? At least pasta is real and hasn’t incited the deaths of millions.

- News Ed. Sash’s Dad

*NEWS* JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY IS SUBJECTIVE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT THE FUCK UP CHARLES. - Johnny O’Hagan Brebner

BRISCOES LADY FIRST OF HER NAME BREAKER OF MATERNAL TIES After the purchase of a clothes horse, nation's parents finally confident their kids will be OK at uni.

“I remember when they were only this big,” one teary eyed mum told Salient while in line to purchase a Clothes Airer LTW Super, only $54.99 at Briscoes. The wire frame clothes horse, described by the official Briscoes website as “large, sturdy, heavy duty,” is set to support the washing of the nation’s first year students, as well as the emotional burden of many of the nation’s now empty nested mums.

Another popular product this week is the Living & Co Clothes Airer 12 Rail available from the Warehouse. Despite offering a smaller drying area, the 12 Rail is considerably cheaper at only $8, perfect for less concerned parents. Adamanda, a Mt Eden mum whose son Elliot just began his first year at Victoria University, was admirably pragmatic, saying, “I’m not wasting money on something he probably won’t use, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen Elliot do his own washing.” She told Salient that although she did worry about her son’s sometimes boisterous behaviour, the lost cost drying rack helped put her mind at ease.

The Briscoes Lady, eternal unaging Mother of the Nation and Feudal Ruler of the Empty Wasteland that is Briscoes post-OWeek, told Salient she was pleased with the tribute of freshers this move-in season. Speaking from her throne of half priced duvets and washing baskets, “this year’s offering has been bountiful. The coffers of my halls glisten with gold and rare jewels”.

She affirmed that the offering this year had been “adequate” and bestowed her blessing on the new crop of first years. “I grant you no tutorials before 11am and by my accord I bless you with no hall fines for vomiting in the hallway.”

Mums and dads nationwide were relieved, and praised the The Briscoes Lady, hallowed be her name, for being merciful to their wary children. Adamanda thanked the Goddess for sparing her son Elliot and said she would “make sure to buy the higher thread count sheets when her younger daughter Gemma begins University next year”.

- Angus Shaw

RAVE & BEHAVE CAMPAIGN SUPER EFFECTIVE & ENGAGING VUWSA slogan “we have the right to refuse you entry if you’re too lit,” was reportedly very effective in encouraging safe drinking during the O-Week of 2014.

The current “Rave & Behave” posters seen around campus this week, sent back in time via little understood theoretical physics, have sparked a sharp decline in antisocial drinking behaviour in the far gone era of 2014.

VUWSA president Marlon Drake unveiled the innovative new campaign to a large supportive crowd four years ago.

“I don’t know how they are so in touch with current youth culture, but I know I’m not going to get so drunk before the toga party this Tuesday, February the 25th of 2014,” Jake Rowland, a first year commerce student, told Salient. (After choosing not to get so drunk that night, Jake graduated early and is now currently the head of New Zealand arm of Goldman Sachs).

When asked why they didn’t simply try to appeal to students in the current year of 2018, Drake said to Salient, “I don’t know, I’m already a ripe 20 years old, how could I possibly know what slang young people are using these days”.

“We aren’t out of touch if it’s four years ago.”

- Angus Shaw

SALIENT MAY SPLIT WITH PITT SPIT AS BUDGET TAKES HIT During a whirlwind visit to Wellington in 2010, Brad Pitt was spotted at Indian restaurant Tulsi in Miramar. The A-List actor, producer, and renowned non-bather ordered a butter chicken, chicken korma, and a garlic naan, a meal that proved simply too big for the Hollywood Adonis and allegedly bad-smelling man.

His garlic naan, sampled but unfinished, was snatched up by an eagle-eyed diner, and the modern-day Shroud of Turin took the find to TradeMe. Salient staffers, at the time unaffected by a burgeoning rent crisis, lavishly pooled their funds and won the naan for $8.50 (shipping unknown). Since then the naan has remained in the frame it arrived it on display in the Salient office, a little known 69th Wonder of the World.

Sadly, Salient must consider the sale of the naan in the face of a harsh 10 grand budget cut from VUWSA. While a local antiques valuer was not available at the time for comment, it can only be assumed the naan’s value has decreased since the Jolie-Pitt split of 2016.

There is however potential for new value. Since its acquisition in 2010, the naan has remained in near-mint (coriander) condition with not a hint of mould, and is being considered for sale to Victoria’s School of Biological Sciences, to research the anti-fungal properties of Pitt’s saliva.

Failing this, Salient is confident black-market sales can raise enough money from someone who wants the naan for their own sinister personal reasons, and who still clings to the idea that Pitt looks like he did in Thelma and Louise (he doesn’t).

-Katie Meadows

AMY ADAMS YET TO MASTER THE ART OF PULLING OUT Much like the guy you took home against your better judgement during O-Week, Amy Adams cannot be trusted to pull out.

Simon Bridges has been announced as the new leader of the National Party, with fashion icon Paula Bennett beating Adams to the Deputy position. Balls-deep ‘til the bitter end, sources tell Salient that Adams might have secured the deputy spot, if only she knew when to pull out.

Adams could have benefited from following the example of exParty Leader Bill English, who is evidently a practised hand when it comes to the pull-out method.

“Bill knows all about pulling out at the right time,” says Vice President of the Politics Society and expert in the withdrawal method Chris Nixon. “He is Catholic after all.”

- Baula Pennett

CHARLES WOOLEY SPENDS 60 MINUTES FIXATING ON JACINDA'S CONCEPTION

SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

8

*NEWS*

SCALDING HOT TAKES PRESENTED WITHOUT COMMENT

Via the Bad Memes for Suffering Victoria University Teens Facebook Page 26-02-18

Names redacted cos we don't have the budget to get sued.

Message sent to the News Editor with regards to covering Salient events of interest.

“After 15 years I finally joined the Auckland Uni Meat Club, thanks to everyone who came up to another club today, and Joined ACT on Campus.”

Via the Official David Seymour Facebook Account 26-02-18

9

A REMEMBERED INTERVIEW WITH

JULIE ANNE GENTER

BY JOHNNY O'HAGEN BREBNER

At 12:20pm last Wednesday, I finished a short but revealing interview with Minister for Women, Associate Health and Associate Transport Minister, and Green Party Co-Leadership contender, Julie Anne Genter.

I was stoked.

At 12:25pm, I realised I had not recorded any of the interview.

There’s something especially dire about failing to press two buttons less than an inch apart. An action justifiably described as “pretty hard to screw up”.

10

The Metiria/James co-leadership reflected an important dynamic in the party between the further left and centre-left groups. There might be some concern your politics are too similar to Shaw’s to reflect this dynamic, which could cause some internal dissent.

Do you think this is a fair representation of your politics in general?

Do you think this is a reasonable concern you will have to face?

The following is a summary of what I remember from our interview: * Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses, or one horse sized duck ?

One horse sized duck.

Favourite book, movie, TV show, and album of 2017?

My favourite book is The Luminaries, which isn’t 2017 but is the best fiction I’ve read in a while. My favourite TV show is Orange is the New Black, and I have been listening to the most recent LCD Soundsystem album. I had tickets to go to the concert on Saturday, but they cancelled the show.

I didn’t consider the left/centre-left dynamic was especially relevant to the co-leadership contest. Metiria Turei was the less radical candidate compared to Sue Bradford. Realistically, working on the consensus democracy model, it won’t actually make a huge difference what my personal politics are.

Who is someone, alive or dead, who has had the most influence on you/your politics?

Thich Nhat Hanh, who wrote Peace is Every Step.

He outlines the importance of peace at every step of change, starting with internal peace of changemakers.

What’s your personal vision, in general terms, for Aotearoa New Zealand given you’re now part of the executive’s new “good green heart”? You’ve mentioned empowering communities, ending poverty, and real action on climate change in candidacy announcement. Anything else in particular?

You recently announced your candidacy for the coleadership of the Green Party. What does this role entail?

There are three main elements to the role.

1) Public: reaching into communities, building connections and support, fronting up on policies/ making the case, appearing in debates.

2) Party: maintaining internal unity, facilitating internal democracy, ensuring engagement from membership, representing the party body.

3) Parliament: negotiation, maintaining working relationships, working on policy.

It’s really important that we make the material changes needed to eliminate poverty in New Zealand and get real action on climate change. An important initial step to do this is empowering communities.

Communities are important for creating change and rallying for issues, but central and regional government are responsible for the structural issues that facilitate or prevent communities growing. We need to remove these barriers (poverty, racism, sexism etc) to allow communities to assist in making the change we need.

We also need to start making the case for reforms now, (e.g. comprehensive tax reform), to reduce inequality, redistribute wealth, and remove barriers.We need to be able to go into 2020 with a case to gain mandate for change which we don’t really have now. We need massive changes but have to start where we are.

What is it about you that means you can fulfil those 3 elements?

I have broad, deep, successful experience at all levels of the party. I have been a party activist for 12 years, and I was on policy strategy committees for three. I have worked a variety of portfolios (simultaneously and separately), made gains on my own policy areas as well as other policy areas, and improved quality of national debate on issues (e.g. effective advocacy for medicinal marijuana while health spokesperson).

Do you have any cheeky life advice for students/ young people?

Do something you’re passionate about. Might sound trite but if you really seek it out, something will come along. Try get plenty of sleep and exercise. [*nervous laughter from interviewer*]

Are there certain issues you’d like to address if you become co-leader, internal or external to the party?

For example, changing the male co-leadership position to “any gender”?

It’s not really the role of the leader to dictate to the party on issues like that, but I understands the coleadership constitutional change is likely to happen at some point. I really wants to be able to regrow Green Party support going into the 2020 election starting ASAP so we can make the case for our policies and have a better position to initiate the change we need.

What are you looking forward to in 2018?

Having my first child will definitely be the best part of the year. * These notes were run past Julie Anne Genter before publication because I’m probably already on her shitlist without misrepresenting her.

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LETTERS Hello Salient,

Dear Salient

Did you see the sunset on Wednesday last week? It was very beautiful. It was momentary. The sky was blue and grey and then grey and yellow and then grey and pink and blue a little bit and then grey again and then black; the sun bright and then oblite and then gone. I have nothing better to say. Salubrious solar salutations.

Dustman wins the Letter of the Week

Another academic year is fast upon us! I was hanging out at Pipitea campus enjoying the freedom before the hard work of attending lectures begins when I picked up a colourful and informative guide to starting university. Anyway I headed to the train and while the train got me to my destination, I began to read this guide. Nice colour photos and good information however I could see nothing about Mature Students! Now not everyone who attends university are fresh out of school, some of us have been around a bit and I can tell you that I left college back in 1983!! Now lucky for me I am an old hand at VUW and have a number of years of university experience under my belt but there maybe a number of older students starting out at VUW who may want information such as support services for them! Maybe I misread the guide but I could not find any reference to us mature students! Have a good year and study hard and take my advice - go to all your classes. You won't regret it.

Letter of the Week Gets a $10 Vic Books Voucher

Signed Dustman.

Love, A Sunset Admirer Send us letters to editor@salient.org.nz otherwise we are just over here playing with ourselves. Your feedback and opinions are valid (maybe).

NOTICES LEANZ COMPETITION Want a chance to win $3,000? The Law and Economics Association of New Zealand is running an essay competition for law and economics students or recent graduates.

The key details are: - $3,000 prize (and a discretionary $1,500 prize for a high quality runner up) - Topics can include any legal or public policy issue capable of analysis through the “law and economics” lens - 5,000 (min) to 15,000 (max) words - Deadline for submissions is Monday 7 May 2018 - Essays that have been submitted to complete a university course in the 18 months preceding the deadline are eligible See www.leanz.org.nz for full details.

COMBINED WORSHIP SERVICE BREATHE - combined worship service.

9th of March, 5pm till 8pm.

Lets worship God together right on campus In association with Vic Unite

TEAM VIC Team Vic is the largest netball club in Wellington, providing a friendly, supportive atmosphere and both competitive and social teams.

Our fees are low so you can keep fit while studying. It is a great way to meet people around the university and Wellington as we have both student and non-student players!

We offer the opportunity to play at Premier 1 level with and against some of New Zealand's top players.

If you are looking for competitive or social netball and coaching or umpire opportunities, join us! Register here: https://goo.gl/xuQMxy For more information, check out our website or find us on social media.

Website: http://www.sporty.co.nz/ vicuninetball/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ teamvic.netball Instagram: @teamvicnetball Contact: teamvicnetball@gmail.com

Keen to Kõrero Kia ora, he inu māku. - Hello, a drink for me .

Kia ora, he kawhe māku. - Hello, a coffee for me.

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CAREERS EVENTS COMING UP IN MARCH Commerce & Law Expo Thurs 15th March, 11-2pm, Rutherford House This expo is a MUST for students looking to explore and discuss possible career opportunities. 40+ Employers have signed up so far. Staff are very welcome to attend.

Employer Presentations FNZC, ANZ, EY, Forsyth Barr, Reserve Bank, KPMG, Deloitte, PwC, NZDF, Bell Gully, Audit NZ, MFAT and MORE! Check out CareerHub for more info and to RSVP. THURSDAYS IN BLACK ALL BLACK OP SHOP This O-Week, we've got a Thursdays in Black Op-Shop comin' at ya! All we need, is donations of black clothes and accessories.

Either drop off at the VUWSA Office Kelburn or email wellbeing@vuwsa.org.nz for an alternative drop off spot in town.

Ft. clothes from SPACESUIT and AUNTY DANA'S OP-SHOP. Take up space, wear black on Thursdays for a world free from rape and violence.

Every cent goes to Gender Minorities Aotearoa.

10am - 2pm / Thursday 8 March Tim Beaglehole Courtyard

Columns

Presidential Address

VUWSA

Marlon Drake

Connor Macleod

Week one ay? Feeling good? Feeling fresh? Ready to learn? That’s grand!

Kia ora e te whanau!

Hope your livers are still in one piece after O-Week and ready to get cranking for Clubs Week!

O’Week has been a hoot this year. I’m writing this on Thursday, so maybe there’s going to be a horrible jinx after I’ve sent it off, but so far there’s been a perfect balance of partying really hard but still looking after yourself. That sweet spot we are all searching for. That state of complete bliss when you can actually taste the 1am cheeseburger at Manners Street Maccas. Just wonderful.

For those who aren’t sure what the hell I’m talking about, Clubs Week is happening on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday in the Kelburn Hub. Clubs on campus all set up stalls to show how they can enrich your life at Vic. The clubs around Uni cover everything that you can possibly think of, from sports clubs like Rowing and Netball, to cultural clubs like Manga and Bell Ringing. If there isn’t a club already set up for your passion, come and see me and we can set it up over the year.

Week one is full of opportunities. In your lectures this week you’ll get the chance to become a class rep, the person who acts as the bridge between lecturer and students.

It’s not a massive time commitment, but it can make a massive difference in your class, and in the uni. For our student voice to be effective it needs to be everywhere, and a big part of that is in the classroom, where the main business happens. It’s also a cool opportunity to get to know your lecturer! You’ll be spending a lot of time with them over the course of your degree so why not?

You’ll hear a million and three yarns about what the clubs are and how they can help you, including looking good on the CV, and 99% of them are true. Clubs give you an opportunity to broaden your horizons, your studies, and the way you think. I’m heading into my fifth year and have just extended my degree and I won’t regret a minute, because I will be able to be a part of the best club on campus for an extra semester.

It’s also Clubs Week. Connor our Clubs and Activities officer will no doubt spin a yarn about why you should join one, why they’re so great/important, yada yada, and 99% of what he’ll say will be right. Clubs are such an important part of the community and are truly some of the most welcoming people you’ll meet (most of the time).

There really is a club for everyone!

Transferring down from Auckland in my third year, I realised that I would need some friends at uni so I joined the Rowing team and slotted into an awesome community, made amazing friends, and was exposed to more opportunities than I could have ever imagined. My life changed when I became part of a club, and I can assure you that yours can too.

Finally I’d like to end with a massive thank you to all of our volunteers who are helping out over our two O-Weeks. We simply could not do it without you, and it’s been awesome getting to know ya!

So enjoy your first week of lectures, and be sure to find some time between them to check out Clubs Week, and if you see me floating around, be sure to say hi. I’ll be the idiot dressed head to toe in rowing gear.

Love, Marlon xx

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Columns

UniQ: The Queer Agenda

NT: Te Ara Tauira

Ace Visser & Erin Page

Jade Gifford Being an “us” at university Recently, I’ve heard the same story come up in a number of conversations with different people. The story has Pacific origins and it goes something like this: a student walks into his class, and the teacher asks him to stand up and talk about himself, he’s asked something along the lines of, “what are your goals? What do you enjoy?

Who are you?” In every instance the boy responds with the same answer. “Our goals are… we enjoy… we are...” and so on. The teacher responds in confusion.

“Why are you talking about ‘us’ when I asked you about yourself?”

For the boy in the story, and I’d say for most of us Māori and Pasifika, we grow up not just being ourselves, but being the products and representations of our ancestors, our whanau, and our wider iwi. That doesn’t mean we’re not our own individual at the same time, but that we’re also a culmination of other beings which determine our very own unique #wairua.

Coming to university for the first time can be daunting business. You can feel isolated from those roots and connections that have been nurtured over the years. University is an individualistic and pākehā institution which often strips us of that sense of aroha and whanaungatanga.

Ngai Tāuira, our Māori Students Association here at Victoria, can be that whānau and that “us” for you here on campus. Whether you’re a new student, or just a Māori student who has yet to get involved with NT. We would love to implore you to join us and allow us the chance to tautoko you as much as we can through your academic journey.

Nau mai, Haere mai.

Facebook: @ngaitauiraVUW Snapchat: Ngai.tauira Instagram: ngaitauira_vuw Nā Jade Gifford ĀPIHA TŪMATANUI, Ngai Tāuira 2018

Kia ora! Welcome to VUW to new students, and welcome back to those who are returning (and a special hello to those of you who came to our O-Week events, hope you had a brilliant time).

UniQ Victoria, is the LGBTQIA+ representative group here at VUW. We’re a social and supportive group for queer students, running regular events, and creating safe spaces. Our executive members also take action to improve the situation for queer students at the university, including sitting as members on the Student Equity and Diversity Committee.

Week 1 is Clubs week, so come to the Hub at Kelburn campus Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday and talk to us! Our exec members will be at a stall where you can ask questions or just have a chat. We’ll be in the rep group corner with all the colourful pride flags!

We on the UniQ exec are very excited about our plans for this year. We have 2 meet ups every single week, starting in week 2!

Mondays, 12pm-2pm: Gender Club in SU218 — alternates weekly with Lunch Space at the Hunter Lounge.

Fridays 1pm-3pm: Games Space — alternates weekly with Facilitated Discussions, both in SU218.

Our movie nights are held on the first Friday of every month; our first was during O-Week (on Thursday as an exception), when we screened the modern classic, 2014’s Pride.

In Trimester 2 we have our Pride Week, a busy week completely packed full of activities, and featuring our takeover of Salient for an entire queer-centric issue, so look forward to that.

There have also been whispers of a potential Queer Ball… ooo…

Let us know if there’s anything else you’d like to see from us.

The absolute best way to get all our updates, and info on our events, is to like our Facebook page — UniQ Victoria @uniq.victoria.9 (we also share some interesting articles and top notch memes), and you can also check out our website: uniqvictoria.wixsite.com/uniq.

There’s a lot to look forward to this year, and we hope you’ll share it with us!

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Columns

By Danica Soich

Waste Not Want Not On the banks of Daqing River sits the town of Wen’an.

While the morning cool keeps the smog at bay, a throng of local men gather around a blue rubbish truck. The driver pulls a lever and out tumble bales of wild, plastic garbage. Back at the family home, the floor is flooded in litter. Women and half naked children squat amongst it.

With quick, endless jerks they sift and sort. To one pile, they toss a snapped pink tiara. To another, a reeking meat tray. Fingers grasp the lid of a coffee cup you bought from VicBooks. Nearby a gloveless boy washes plastic petals in chemical soup. Above the village the visible stench of burning rubbish lifts with the rising sun.

Small scale workshops like this help to process the 7.3 billion tonnes of plastic arriving on China’s shores each year. According to Plastic NZ, New Zealand hauled 7 million kilograms of our own plastic recycling to China in 2016.

China began importing recyclables in the early 2000s to feed an increasing industrial appetite. Used plastic, paper and metal were inexpensive materials that could be reborn into toys, electronics and other cogs of modern life.

Yet in July 2017, China took a stand against “yang laji,” or “foreign garbage”. Prompted by acute environmental and public health issues, the “National Sword” policy banned the import of 24 kinds of solid waste, including almost all forms of plastic. The campaign also called for more stringent rules against dirty and unrecyclable materials.

China officially implemented the prohibition on 1st of January this year. Since then, the global recycling industry has been in a slow, sticky meltdown. Swaying

towers of waste paper have been built in the streets of Hong Kong. Centers in the United Kingdom are burying recyclables in bloated landfills. In America, mountains of materials are simply being burnt.

New Zealand waits while the waste piles up. Domestic large scale processing plants are not feasible due to the low density, low value and technical hurdles involved in plastic recycling. Smart Environmental, who sends 12,000 tonnes of plastic to China yearly, is prepared to hoard the rubbish until an alternative destination is found.

China’s stand should cause us to reflect on our own brittle position. Each New Zealander produces 734kg of waste per year. As a nation, we’ve been ranked in the top five biggest wasters in the developed world. What we dispose of is the toxic shadow of what we consume.

It is incumbent on us as consumers to reflect for a second on our purchases. Seek to avoid buying sexy, single use products. Invest in lunch boxes, Keep Cups, glass bottles, fabric bags, and beeswax food wrap, and resist the lure of products packaged in plastic. If one must buy disposable, choose material which has a higher recycling quality and can be recycled domestically. Glass, cardboard, and plastics stamped ‘1’ and ‘2’ on the bottom can be recycled onshore. Avoid grades ‘3’ to ‘7’ which cannot.

We should seek to implement a deposit-refund scheme on plastic containers. We could encourage plastic free aisles at supermarkets and blanket bans on certain single use plastics, like straws.

By all means recycle! But keep it clean, sorted and to a minimum. Our responsibility for waste stretches far beyond the curbside collection. Our responsibility reaches all the way to a house full of plastic, in a town barely visible amongst the smog.

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Columns

SWAT

Ask the Advocate

Bua Raphiphattha

Erica Schouten

Hi students of VUW! My name is Bua – I am a PhD student majoring in positive psychology, and I am also the SWAT leader for 2018. SWAT (Student Wellbeing Awareness Team) is a team of students who meet weekly to discuss ways in which we could empower students to take care of our health and wellbeing.

Dear Erica, We have just moved out of our old flat. Our property manager has told us that she will not be refunding all of our bond. She is deducting $200 to get the carpets professionally cleaned, and is charging us $175 for cleaning. We worked really hard to make the place clean at the end of our tenancy, but she has sent us a few photos (one is a photo of some hair in a drain, and another is of a dusty light bulb). There are 5 of us, so we would each only lose $75. Is it worth fighting this?

Sincerely, Anxious Mess

University is a unique place where students learn and develop intellectually as well as personally. It’s a place where we get to explore existing ideas and innovative new ones, as well as discover our own identity, values, and aspirations. It is a place for growth and development.

Growing – as we all know – can be quite uncomfortable.

Transitioning from the structured nature of high school to the responsibilities and independence of university is challenging and can be quite unsettling. You may start to question what your values are, and who you are as a person, leading to a sense of feeling lost. Academic, social, and financial pressures are also stressors that students experience. Therefore, it is very important that we take the time to care for our health and wellbeing.

SWAT is here to help students navigate through university life by campaigning and putting on wellbeing events. We also run awesome workshops throughout the year, such as mindfulness meditation, and tips to stop procrastination.

We always love to welcome new volunteers, and so if you share our passion to help others live well, email us at vicstudentwellbeing@gmail.com to join our team and champion for student wellbeing!

Lastly, to new students – welcome to VUW, make the most of orientation week, sign up to clubs, don’t forget to check out the recreation centre for deals on gym membership, and be courageous and say hi to other students. We are all in the same boat now!

Best of luck for your studies, and make the most of 2018!

Dear Anxious Mess, Yes. Please fight this. It seems to be quite common for landlords and property managers to charge cleaning costs to students – this might seem a small loss for each of you, but across the student population every year this cost must be enormous!

According to the Residential Tenancies Act, tenants must leave the property in a “reasonably clean and tidy condition”. This is quite subjective, but it sounds as though you did your best to clean up. As such, I think this is worth challenging the property manager. You shouldn’t need to be paying for the carpets to be professionally cleaned – you just need to vacuum, sweep and mop.

If I were you, I would email the Property Manager and explain you are all unhappy with the deduction, and that you believe you left the place in a reasonably clean and tidy condition, which is all that is required by law. If you feel a compromise is appropriate, you could concede some ground (e.g. say that you accept the cleaning costs, but are not prepared to pay for the carpets to be professionally cleaned). If they respond and tell you to get lost, then you could write back and say you are considering taking this matter to the Tenancy Tribunal.

They might rethink their position. If they don’t , you can file with the Tenancy Tribunal (if you do this it helps to have evidence such as photos and emails showing you have tried to resolve the issue).

Send in your problems to advocate@vuwsa.org.nz

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Ziggy StarMusk and the Roadster to Mars I can think of no better way to relaunch this column than talking about launch of SpaceX’s Falcon Heavy on February 6th, one of the largest commercial rockets ever launched, and proof of the viability of reusable rockets. Over two million people watched the Youtube livestream as Elon Musk, a true showman, chose to forgo the traditional test launch cargo of a concrete block for one of his Tesla Roadsters.

Was it successful? Not entirely; while the booster rockets returned to Earth unscathed, the main Falcon crashed mere meters from its seaborne landing platform, due to not having enough fuel to reactivate its thrusters for a touchdown landing. To his credit, Musk took it in stride, sharing the scientific attitude of being perfectly willing to anticipate failure, and unlike most modern capitalists, he’s perfectly willing to lose a lot of money in the name of progress.

What matters is the car made it to space, and you can now track its location in the solar system through Ben Pearson’s www.whereisroadster.com, as well as when it’s expected to hit Mars, and the amount of times it exceeded its 360,000 mile warranty (at my last glance, about 800).

Recently, the US government is increasingly in favour of privatising its space ventures, including ending federal funding for its share of the International Space Station by 2025. The annual NASA budget sits around $20 billion, and due to inflation, this amounts to a gradual pay cut over time. Companies like SpaceX have both a vision and a bottom line to maintain, which encourages them to lower costs. The complete Falcon Heavy rocket package costs around US$90 million, whereas NASA’s current most powerful rocket, the Delta IV, costs US$350 million. SpaceX is also the only space flight endeavour that reuses its

rockets, which makes it a less wasteful alternative to one-use multi-stage rockets, which are the equivalent of taking a plane from London to LA but jumping out above your destination while your plane crashes in the ocean. NASA is already eyeing up SpaceX for when a large scale satellite needs launching; while we currently know that it can propel a car, Falcon Heavy is promised to be able to carry around 64 tons.

That said, I wonder when Musk’s ambition will exceed his means. One need look no further than Tesla Motors, which has consistently failed to turn the electric car from a luxury item to a mass market vehicle, and in doubling down to meet his targets he’s only created more stress for his workers. The Verge reported that injury rates at his auto factories are 31 percent higher than the US average for 2015. Musk has also been quietly attempting to suppress a Tesla workers union, while promising to produce 5,000 electric cars a week by 2018. These concerns have since been eclipsed by the success of SpaceX; I almost view the Falcon Heavy launch as a metaphor for his current business plan, using the power of one venture to launch a totem of the other as far away from him as humanly possible.

Still, when those booster rockets returned to their landing pad in unison, I’ll admit I welled up a little at how they returned to Earth with such careful grace.

The Bowie soundtrack probably helped. I wondered what my late grandfather, a Imperial Collegeeducated rocket scientist, would have thought of it, having studied physics at a time when it was thought impossible for a man-made object to leave the Earth’s gravitational pull at all. And at the end of the day, we were witnesses to history being made. Sometimes living in a dystopian cyberpunk present has its moments.

17

JACINDA'S PREGNANT (Now everyone freak out)

By Kate Green

The news shook the nation. Granted we’re a small influence, power, and responsibility, she is not a robot, nation, so it doesn’t take much. When McDonald’s and when it comes to matters of humanity, like her brought back Georgie Pie, let me tell you, Facebook coffee preference and her decision to have children, went off. The news of Jacinda’s pregnancy reached she should be held to the same standard as anyone me via text one morning at work — just a simple else. suggestion from Boyfriend to check the news. Within If our Prime Minister was of the penis-wielding an hour, everyone in the office was talking about persuasion, it would be a different story. Bill English it. Everyone feels qualified to have an opinion. is a father of 6, and when asked about how he finds Why, despite New Zealand being a tiny, relatively balancing work and kids as part of Stuff’s RadDad well-connected, reasonably liberal country, did the series, he replied that lots of people work long hours, opinions of its citizens vary so greatly over this news? and he is no different to them. His response was not I must hate myself, because I spent an hour trawling questioned. A male politician announcing he is soon to through Facebook comments, wondering why the be a dad would not, unlike Jacinda, have their ability entire population of straight white males and religious to do their job questioned. He would be congratulated old women come out to for five minutes, and the play whenever NZ Herald Perhaps she will suffer terrible hormone story forgotten. posts an article. How do changes and mood swings, and someone The obvious reason why these people find their way men and women are held will leave the Big Red Button out, and she to account differently when onto every post to give an opinion? Do they have a will find out they’ve run out of Earl Grey, they have babies is that Google alert on? I click and the jug’s just boiled, and she just... men do not have to grow “show more comments,” the thing in their stomachs.

SNAPS? Then what? and cry. One woman was They are therefore not “totally disgusted” at her lack of transparency, and responsible for lugging another human around inside yet another showed a proficient grasp of the hashtag his body, while simultaneously trying to appear function by commenting, “You are the 1st female PM to unflustered, graceful, photogenic, and capable of get knocked up out of wedlock. Such a great example running a country. That’s gotta be hard. you are #losersinoffice”. And finally, there was the But here’s a cool thing. Women around the world simple, subtle dig; “The Prime Minister looks very literally do this on a daily basis. When a woman gets tired”. I cornered a friend over coffee one morning, pregnant, they don’t closet themselves away in their and despite being somewhat taken aback at my rooms, fan themselves with leaves, and lie uselessly on aggressive opening line of, “So do you think Jacinda a chaise lounge. They work, and cook, and clean, and should have told us she was pregnant earlier?”, they read, and write, and converse, and shop, and mother, did provide me with some heart-warming comments and function. The Queen of England, Elizabeth II, had that reassuringly proved a trend of enthusiasm and two young children at the time of her coronation, sympathy among young people I asked. and went on to have two more. Jacinda has a high Should Jacinda have kept New Zealand in the pressure, high stress job to do, but do you really think loop from the first minute she knew she was pregnant, she herself doesn’t know this? If she thinks she can or even that the possibility of becoming pregnant do it, you have no qualifications to tell her otherwise. was likelier than we all thought? While she’s at it, That is, unless you are both a gynaecologist and a she may as well have disclosed the frequency and mind reader, in which case, get in touch, I have some quality of her sex life! First and foremost, Jacinda is a questions. person. While yes, she is a person with a lot of sway, 18

Jacinda's Pregnant Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that she’s wrong.

Perhaps she has the best intentions, perhaps she’s naive, perhaps women don’t really know what’s coming until it squirms out of them covered in blood shrieking its head off, then never sleeping for more than an hour at a time (I know, how rude). Perhaps she will suffer terrible hormone changes and mood swings, and someone will leave the Big Red Button out, and she will find out they’ve run out of Earl Grey, and the jug’s just boiled, and she just... SNAPS? Then what?

I think the fact that I had to stretch so far for an appropriate analogy here demonstrates my point.

It’s true, people make mistakes when they’re tired, and are perhaps more likely to be aggressive or unreasonable when running on no sleep, or being bombarded with baby-making hormones. But the political equivalent of a Big Red Button doesn’t exist in this country. We’re too small, and our two opposing parties are too politically aligned. Compared to to the Democrats and Republicans in the US, Labour and National are best buds. We’re nuclear free, protected by some big powers, and unlikely to be invaded for anything except a personalised director’s cut of the Lord of the Rings. I think we’ll be fine.

I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I think running a country, especially in a way that pleases at least some people, is bloody hard. I wouldn’t do it. I think Jacinda is brave and inspiring, and I think she can do a lot of good for some people who haven’t had it good for a while. I’m just trying to make the point that these naysayers who flock in the dozens to the comments sections of Facebook are going a little bit far when they compare this baby to the fiery end of New Zealand as we know it. For every decision in parliament there are hours of deliberation, critiques from all sides, public announcements, and a certain amount of transparency. Jacinda is being held to account by the media, by us, and most of all, by her fellow Members of Parliament. The Labour party laboured hard to get where they are, and they want to stay there. Jacinda is surrounded by people with a lot to lose, and therefore, she won’t be allowed to mess up.

Interestingly, many of the cynical comments on news articles and posts were from older females. Why, you and I both ask, are women in particular so strongly divided on this? Men tended to be less passionately opinionated, ranging from a cheerful “Yeh pretty happy for her aye!” to an obviously faux-bored, “I see Repco have got a sale on today…” (which has 28 laugh reacts, I am sorry to say). One man was, I’m sure to his great relief, able to make it all about him again by writing “lol [this is] perpetuating the myth females are the only ones capable of multitasking. If men gave birth we'd be building bridges while giving birth,” which is something I would pay to see, to be honest.

The women, however — one actually commented on a Facebook post, “GET ON WITH IT and do some work instead of riding the gravy train,” as though Jacinda is taking time off from running the country to write these articles herself. Another remarked that there is “nothing wrong with being pregnant, I just don't think the debating chambers are the place for babies[. I] can't see how you can give your full attention to your job”.

Perhaps women feel more entitled to an opinion on motherhood. Perhaps since some have experienced it themselves, they know how hard it is, and they don’t see how being a mother fits into their idea of a Prime Minister’s job. Many women confessed, both online and in person, that they don’t think they could be both a mother and a Prime Minister. But this isn’t a good enough reason to begrudge Jacinda the opportunity. It isn’t a competition. Just because she has the chance of making this work, it doesn’t make any of these women who weren’t faced with this double responsibility any less worthy or successful than she. We need to lift each other up, not tear each other down. People are doing enough of that for us, and Jacinda is, I truly hope, about to prove them all wrong.

On the flip side, as well as being a fantastic demonstration of how competent women can be, this is going to be a time of growth for men, and how they see themselves fitting into family stereotypes. Clarke Gayford’s role as the stay-at-home dad will show men all around the country that being the primary caregiver is not weak, or lesser, or something to be ashamed of. Surprisingly, even a few of my friends were holding some unjustified ideas about what this decision means for Clarke as a person. When I brought him up, one dropped the comment that, “He kind of seems unmotivated in his career”. I pressed for more, and we went around in circles for a while with no real consensus on whether it was, “Just his face, I guess”. Society has got the idea that staying at home to care for a child means he can’t possibly be as ambitious as the next man. I’m just saying. Our society continually drives home the image of husband as breadwinner, and at present there seems to be little place within that role for nurturing a child.

Finally, as I always do in times of quandary, I turned to my mum. And, as always, she had a pearl of wisdom to offer.“What guarantees are there that anyone's life situation is going to be all plain sailing? [...] But I think in this day and age we offer support and solutions.” Support and solutions. Nice. I’d much rather live in a country of support and solutions than put-downs and should-have-beens. This baby is coming whether New Zealand likes it or not. We might as well be positive about it. And by request of at least one person I talked to, Salient will be accepting bets on the name. Personally, I like Windi.

20

Kii Small & Jazz Kane

Elise & Lauren Writing this column is really a mere formality, as our reputation as a behemoth of premium visual content precedes us, but if we want to get paid we do have to occasionally write things so here goes.

We’re Elise and Lauren, your co-producers of Salient TV for this year. As our hefty count of 33 YouTube followers over our first three years of existence will boast, we are already on the top of our game and this year will take us to dizzying new heights of popularity and quality content.

Leveling with you here, dear reader, our main hopes at this point are to make you aware of our existence, and that maybe you’ll watch three seconds of one of our videos before scrolling down to your niche astrology memes and articles about the white nationalist undertones to Miley Cyrus’ all-American return to music.

We’re hoping to release a video every fortnight and they will cover topics right across the broad spectrum of human experience because we’ve planned out every inch of this year’s calendar and we have so many ideas and we’re super organised so don’t worry we’re not worried why are you worried????

We’ll be continuing our extremely popular, highly original, long-standing and award-winning series Hot Takes ™*, where we interview someone we think is fun by asking their opinions about things that are usually highly irrelevant to them and their career.

You’ll find our videos posted on the Salient Facebook page, and we promise to have a bizarrely satisfying social media presence of our own on the ‘gram. Give @tvsalient a follow. Even if it’s a pity follow. We’re not above pity follows.

If this all sounds like a bit of you and you’d like to help us out this year as a volunteer, send an email at tv@salient.org.nz and we’ll give you a link to our Facebook group. *It was very mildly popular, possibly ripped from Pitchfork, consisted of two videos and was only awardwinning if you consider the swelling of Lauren’s dad’s heart with somewhat obligatory familial pride an award.

Spotlight Show: 2GIRLS 1AUX The name says it all. The show is jam-packed with bangers from indie classics to underground hip-hop to electronic tracks you can only hear in the most cultured prisons.

These two part-time musicians try their hand in radio, creating a show that is the most unique show we could find on the streets of Wellington. They are presenting every Wednesday and Friday between 6:00PM and 8:00PM. Catch them on social media to follow their movements, catch the podcasts you may have missed out on and hear interviews with musicians you probably should have heard of.

Instagram: 2girls1aux Facebook: 2GIRLS1AUX DO YOU WANT TO DO A SHOW? If you’ve got a really jammy playlist, want to become a better fresher or just wanna scream into a microphone over a 20 hour loop of Blonde by Frank Ocean, let us know!

Email us at fm@salient.org.nz

21

Hey You, Take a Hike!

SAMANTHA MYTHEN

Advertising Being a university student means days of focused study. You go to lectures, listen, write, and type. You put on your lab coat, pick up your pen, open your laptop. The library becomes your second home. Flash cards and essays spill out of your bag. You learn something new every day.

This is all pretty cool for sure. But there’s only one life, and your only chance to live it is right now, in this very moment, this very second. There are 24 hours in each day; 86400 seconds of making a moment count. So let that strong Wellington wind push you outside. Let the sound of the ocean beckon you. Let the sun promise warm tales of adventure that YOU get to write. This world is meant to be explored, and Wellington is the best place to start. For what is the purpose of life, other than to get to the end of the day, having laughed your heart out, tired your legs out, and done something remarkable that makes you truly feel alive.

This city and its outskirts are full of adventures.

Here’s a little inspiration for you.

First, your basic checklist: Walking shoes Adventurous heart Transport (with a big group of friends, hiring a van is cheap, otherwise ask around. Someone, somewhere, will have a car or a scooter or a bike).

Tent and overnight gear if you plan to make it a two day adventure!

Raincoat Snacks (I’m a big fan of cookies) Money (ICE i.e. Ice cream Expenditure) Fellow adventurers (I rallied a few troops with the temptation of chips) Backpack Camera 1. Remutaka Forest Park This is the closest forest park to Wellington with 22,000 ha of fresh air to breathe. It’s a place where you can escape for an easy stroll through native bush with a few loop tracks available, structuring your day with a picnic in the midday sun. Or you can set up 22

Hey You, Take a Hike! camp for the night at Catchpool Valley, either walking into a hut (which you can book via DOC) or pitching tent in the campground. A BBQ for dinner under the glow of starlight: what more could you want?

2. Tararua Forest Park This is the place where you should go if you really want to escape the city and get some beautiful views as well. Enter from the west and head to Otaki Forks.

The river is cool to swim in, with grassy terraces to sunbathe on. Go back in history to 1930 and visit the steam powered sawmill. Enter from the East at Holdsworth. Here you’ll find that there is almost no better feeling than ascending up into the clouds, reaching stunning tussocky tops, where a great vista greets you.

3. The Putangirua Pinnacles and beyond The neighbouring region of the Wairarapa is your destination. A short walk will take you up a river,

reaching cliffs of natural pillar formations where the Earth is reaching its arms up to the sky. But the adventure doesn’t end there - the coastal area holds so much to explore. Spontaneity is key here - but definitely head to Palliser Lighthouse. This red and white man-made beauty is reached by a step staircase.

Get ready for wild winds that blow your worries away and wild ocean views with half-hidden seals here and there to remind you of your place in the world.

4. Matiu/Somes Island + Pencarrow Lighthouse Sometimes all you need in life is a little day out and this is the perfect place to go. Grab your favourite person and head to the waterfront. A ferry ride will take you out to Somes Island where you can wander around this lovely haven of nature and wildlife. The next ferry passing by can take you even further, to somewhere new: Day’s Bay and Eastbourne. There are cafes and little galleries to be explored, and if you

Advertising Taraua Forest Park, Image by Samantha Mythen

feel like stretching your legs, let the sea be your guide, and lead you along the coast. A beautiful lighthouse guards Wellington harbour, and the views back over the city offer a stunning perspective. This will probably be one of the best days of your life.

5. Makara Wellington has many places to escape - to the mountains, to the trees or to Makara on the coast.

Spectacular views will remind you that it’s the little things in life which really are the most extraordinary.

Here, there are walks to skip and twirl and dance along. There is history to explore through the old gun emplacements. There are pebbles to skim across the bay. If you make it at the right time you might even catch the sunset. Watch until your heart pours out.

6. Redrocks Everyone should walk for 20 minutes every day. For those who are too busy to do this, they should walk for at least an hour every day. University is stressful and

if you’re feeling overwhelmed and anxious, the best thing is to just stop what you’re doing and go outside.

Feel your feet on the ground, and bus and walk your way to Red Rocks. Along the coast, splendid seals will smile their big puppy eyes at you. Rocks over 200 years old, pigmented with red, will remind you that so many moons have risen and fallen long before you and your stresses came - so everything will be alright.

The moral of this story is to live moment by moment.

Choose to be where you are right now, then you’ll see the beautiful little things, then you’ll see just how remarkable each breath you take really is. If today was your last day on Earth, how would you live it?

Every day, a new chapter in our lives begin, so let’s make today an extraordinary one.

Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent studying in the library, or cleaning your room.

Climb that goddamn mountain.

23

Doors & Windows OUR PARENTS WERE NOT GIVEN THE TOOLS TO UNDERSTAND QUEERNESS ISABELLE MCNEUR

Last month, in a shopping store, I corrected my supermarket. We stuck to the sunlit side of the street, mother on my twin’s pronouns, and she waved a hand and I told him about the shopping trip I’d just had with dismissively. mum.

“Look, I’m just not doing it. A mother’s got I told him how frustrated I was with the idea that my privileges,” she said. She wasn’t looking at me, but twin would have to come back home every Christmas, not out of guilt. She was distracted by the lace on and put up with not only mum, but a tirade of relatives a dressing gown. After she finished speaking, she at dinner calling them a pronoun and a name they put the gown back on the hanger and went right on had long since realized wasn’t right. They would have browsing, like that ended the conversation that we’d to do it every year. Very few of our relatives were been having on and off for the last four years. changing how they spoke when it came to my twin. In As she got distracted by a dressing gown with a the family hive mind, my twin was the same person as different pattern, I took the time to compose myself they always were, but now their presence came with against saying all the old a level of discomfort. things. The most prominent She’d hoped my twin’s gender My dad was quiet for a one was how dare you. How was a phase, and now that she while. Then he said, “Well. I dare you brush this off like it’s realized it wasn’t, she decided guess she-” nothing? We’ve told you why “They-” not to participate. this matters, why don’t you “They have two choices. understand, why don’t you try harder, why don’t you Either they keep correcting people and put up with get it? the fights that happen because of it, or they keep quiet I kept my words behind my teeth. I didn’t want and put up with getting called the wrong thing all the to start what would spiral into a shouting match in a time”. store. When she headed into a dressing room and told Both options made me angry. On the tail end of me about flooding her flat, I made interested noises, the anger came an unimaginable weariness. and tried not to think about what she had said.

“Option A is shit,” I told him. “Option B also is The way she had said I’m just not doing it was so also shit”. casual. She hadn’t seen it as a quiet betrayal to both “Yep,” he said. “But what are you gonna do?” her kids. She thought we were too sensitive. She’d There wasn’t a particular catalyst to me figuring hoped my twin’s gender was a phase, and now that out I was queer. It was a process. Mostly there were she realized it wasn’t, she decided not to participate. quizzes taken under an incognito browser, and diary To her, it was as simple as that. entries I crossed out in case someone found them.

Later, I walked with my dad down to the Both my twin and I discovered ourselves in our 24

Image by Salman Abbasnejad

Doors & Windows teens, with me realizing I was queer at 14, and them outrageous. realizing they were transgender a few years later. We At the start of our separate outings they told us hadn’t been given the information to figure it out any they were supportive. In practice it turned out to be younger than either of us did. As far as we knew back more complicated. Despite this, they have more of a then, there weren’t other options. We knew, vaguely, handle on my queerness than my twin’s gender, or about other kinds of people, but it was a mysterious lack thereof. Gayness is a concept they understand and unclear kind of knowledge that didn’t get talked to a point. They understand less about sexualities about unless you were making fun of someone. Other between and beyond gay and straight, but they kinds of people existed, sure, but they were very much mostly try to smile and nod politely about it.

Other Kinds of People and not Us. When it came to When it comes to my twin’s transness, they’re people who weren’t Us, we knew nothing of their inner less polite about it. Their smiles are either forced or lives, or why they were, or even the reality of what nonexistent. My dad tries to avoid the subject, but he they were, because nothing was explained. Instead amends his language when either of us correct him on of explanations we got bad jokes during sitcoms that it. My mother is another story. both of us laughed at. We didn’t know there were “I just don’t see why it’s a big deal that I call you options outside what was “normal”, i.e. straight and they,” is our mother’s constant refrain. To her, my twin’s cis. pronouns are an annoyance. She did try at the start, But we learned. but three years into it she barely bothers anymore, as None of this learning happened in schools. Any if she’s trying to pretend it never happened. This keeps discussion of trans or queer people during school was up with how much we correct her on it: at the start, rare and purely hypothetical, even though the class we’d interject ‘they’ whenever she used the wrong sizes meant that statistically, some of the students term. Nowadays we shut up about it. Whenever we had to fit the criteria. This learning, the discovering, try to correct her it blows into a screaming match happened accidentally at first. We stumbled into it. where she’s trying, it’s just difficult, she’s still getting We’d gleam something in used to it, and when we point a conversation and a light Both options made me angry. out that it’s been three years would blink on in our heads, On the tail end of the anger came she just glares. or we’d come across a term If the pronouns are an an unimaginable weariness. while scrolling through Twitter annoyance, my twin changing which would feel confrontational in a way we weren’t their name is an insult. comfortable with.

“Your name is something I gave to you. And you’re My confession to my twin happened in a bunk bed rejecting it,” is something she likes to bring up, as if my during a sleepover. They had been surprised, to say twin is doing it to spite her, like all of it is. the least.

Still, she loves us. My twin and I were a last-ditch “I just never expected this from you,” they kept effort at the end of a 15-year attempt for kids that saying. ended her chances for more. She wanted us so badly, My twin’s discovery was slower and murkier. but in the past few years we’ve started to get the There are less resources for trans people than there feeling that she got more than she bargained for. She are for people questioning their sexuality. Their had an image of children in her mind that we’ve long confession to me came at a bus stop while we were since grown out of. waiting for friends. They followed it up with, “Please They don’t cover “what to do when your child is don’t mention this to anyone”, and I agreed readily. queer” in parenting classes, because it’s just assumed Their coming out seemed to carry a lot more danger they won’t be. It’s the same way soon-to-be parents than mine did. aren’t taught what to do if their child has a disability I didn’t say I never expected this from you. Partly or disorder: everyone assumes their child will be because it had been an illuminating few years since “normal”. my own coming out, but mostly because I kept up to Any deviation from “normal” is something parents date on their personal blog. Their posts had been never signed up for. From there, it’s a gamble: either hinting towards this outcome for a while. they understand or they don’t, and if they don’t In both cases we kept it quiet from our parents for understand, then hopefully they’re willing to listen. a long time after telling each other.

And if they listen and still don’t understand, if they We confuse our parents. My twin and I have had never do, that’s another story, one shared by too to explain our orientations to both of them several many queer people. times over. Whenever we think they get it, really get It’s a story that would never have been told fifty it, they’ll say something that throws us and we’d have years ago, sometimes even twenty. Nowadays when to explain again. After the first few years we tend to queer people are not understood by parents, more put up with misconceptions unless they’re particularly of them are comforted with the knowledge that, even 26

Doors & Windows if their parents don’t understand, there are countless people out there — online or at school or down the street — who do.

There’s a vivid memory of my mother from when I was twelve and researching Ellen Degeneres for a school project. I told my mother about it, and how Ms. Degeneres seemed cool, and then I leaned close.

“But she’s a lesbian,” I whispered.

My mother looked at me and said, “So?” Then she walked off. My parents had been the kind who thought that sure, being gay was fine, and because it was fine they didn’t need to tell their kids about it. This led to their kids making up their own assumptions, and the things I picked up — from TV, from kids at school, from playground jokes — didn’t paint queerness in a positive light.

I remember the cool shock washing over me as she disappeared down the hall. Nowadays I think that if she’d stuck around to tell me about gay people, and how they weren’t strange or dirty, she could’ve saved me a few confusing years. She could’ve told me something that neither her, nor dad, nor any adult in my entire childhood, ever mentioned — that being gay wasn’t just a thing for other people on the fringes of society to do. How it wasn’t just for distant cousins you never saw, or the best friends in movies whose main personality traits were “Gay” and “Hilarious Due To Gayness”. You, too, could be gay. You could even be other identities that didn’t get covered in the black and white descriptions of Gay and Straight.

In reality, my mother couldn’t have told me half of those things. Even if she sat me down at age 11 and told me everything she knew about queer people, it would still just be a stepping stone to me figuring out what I was. Because my mother, like so many other people her age, like so many people my age and any age, hadn’t been given the right information. It was never offered and she didn’t think to ask.

Nowadays she does have that information. She doesn’t understand it and doesn’t accept some of it, but it’s there. And even if she doesn’t understand, there are more and more kids growing up with easier access to information that would’ve saved me a lot of trouble. People are talking about LGBT kids less as a hypothetical and more as a reality.

We are a reality. People are coming out younger than they ever have before. In 2010, Stonewall, an organization in the UK, conducted a poll claiming that “in 1991, the average coming-out age was 25.

[Nowadays, the age] is 16 years old”. The internet, among other things, has provided us with widespread tools that we can use to figure out a name for what we are. We can find definitions, information, solace, community, all with a few touches on a keyboard.

While my cousin was telling me how different primary school is now than it was back in her day, she paused in the middle of telling me about the NZ

sign language her child is being taught, and said, “oh, and there’s a gay kid in her class! Everyone loves him, he’s so smart, but not in a smarmy way. He’s eight and he’s adorable”.

I agreed that it was great, and as my cousin switched back to talking about sign language, I tried to parse if she would have been born before or after homosexuality was decriminalized in New Zealand.

When I asked, she said she had been born in 1987.

“So, one year after it was legal to be gay here,” I told her.

She blinked. “What? That can’t be right. In New Zealand?”

“Yep, before 1986 it was illegal to be gay here.”

“Jeeee-zus. That’s crazy. That’s such a short amount of time ago.”

And it is. I think about that fact a lot, that you could get legally punished for being gay in my parent’s lifetime. I’ll walk down the street and guess people’s ages, and everyone over the age of 31 was alive during a period where being myself would have been a criminal offense.

But here we are in a period where I can sit on my cousin’s carpet and talk with her about the gay eight year old that goes to school with her kid. This eight year old, just the concept of him, and the knowledge that he’s a reality, has me hopeful. It’s a powerful balm knowing that he not only realized he was queer so young, but he had people around him who enabled him to understand that it was an option. That it was an option, and that it was okay.

Thirty years ago — ten, even — he could’ve been eight years old and confused. Or eight and not even thinking about any of it yet, just assuming he liked girls because that’s what boys did. He could’ve grown up thinking he was wrong, or grown up and realized his queerness and hid it. His parents might not have known to let him know it was okay, or otherwise didn’t think it was okay in the first place.

But it isn’t thirty years ago, or even ten. This kid was given the tools, and he used them to uncover himself.

My twin lives in a five bedroom flat and everyone there is some type of queer. When I told our friend about it, she laughed.

“That sounds like a great sitcom idea,” she said.

On the walk home I thought up a sitcom full of people with identities that parents are afraid to talk to their children about. They are the main characters instead of punchlines. When someone says what they are — I am bi, I am agender, I am nonbinary, I am demisexual — they don’t get a confused look, or someone quickly changing the subject. They get a nod of understanding before the show heads towards a joke that doesn’t have anything to do with people outside the confines of “normal”.

It’s probably far off. Still, it feels closer than ever.

27

BY CHRISTOPHER JAMES NIXON

Did you know New Zealand has our very own military education and a state-run school. It’s a libertarian’s school? I didn’t, until a few months ago. Just like that wet dream, all the money they could want, with none episode in The Simpsons, it has been giving kids of the regulations. fancy uniforms, berets, and teaching them foot drills Charter schools have been extremely controversial alongside their maths and english. Vanguard Military from day one. I spoke to David Seymour at first via School is the most well-known “partnership school” in his Snapchat before he insisted I call, as “there’s New Zealand. too much to talk about with this important topic over Partnership schools come with many different Snapchat”. I called him, in the hope of getting both names: academies, charter schools, Kura Hourua. sides of the story and figure out why people should Whatever you want to call them, they will soon be give partnerships a chance. Mr Seymour’s basic a thing of the past, if the Labour Party gets their argument for partnership schools was one of “tearing way. Much to the anguish of Dancing with the Stars up the script” and “freedom of choice”, two key ideals contestant and ACT Party leader David Seymour, that partnership schools provide. Seymour told me the new government is currently in the process of that “you just have to look on Facebook to find story scrapping charter schools. after story of countless kids The Education Amendment Bill It’s a libertarian’s wet dream, all who hated school…skipped 2018 has been put forward the money they could want, with class…dropped out”, etc., until to Parliament, passed its first they turned up at a partnership none of the regulations. reading and is currently in school. He insists that these the select committee stage. This bill will, “remove the schools turn out more unique individuals, generate new partnership schools model from the New Zealand options for kids and go against the “one size fits all” education system, with transitional provisions for approach of the Ministry of Education. Mr Seymour existing partnership schools until their contract is seemed very intent on this theme that state schools terminated or it expires”, effectively killing off this these day turn out cookie cutter students and do not short-lived experiment in state/private partnership provide the correct “freedom of choice” for students education. and their parents. Having a literal military school be But what exactly is a charter school? If you’re the poster school for individuality and ”ripping up the reading this there is a very slim chance you went to script” may sound ironic but to be fair to Seymour, one. They have only been around since 2011 and Vanguard continues to produce top quality students there aren’t a whole lot of them. In the most basic of with great academic marks, and perhaps most definitions, a charter school is a private school set up importantly, many of the students come from low by a local community, iwi, business or philanthropist, socio-economic areas in the country. These students etc., to run independently of most Ministry of like going to school, and have been protesting to keep Education rules while still receiving tax dollars to fund their school. I don’t know about you, but when I was itself. It’s the halfway point between an entirely private in year 12 I was not taking to the streets to confess 28

The Cases For and Against Charter Schools

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The Cases For and Against Charter Schools my love for Burnside High School, as cool as it was. the idea of charter schools may be a libertarian’s A big attraction Seymour has to partnership schools wet dream, the outcome of the first charter school in is the innovation they can inspire. Seymour insists New Zealand was music to sceptic’s ears. The Labour that “if it was left up to the Ministry of Education… Party could easily point to this failed experiment to schools like Vanguard Military Academy would never demonstrate why the Ministry of Education and its even be thought of in the first place”, let alone be the regulations were so important. fully functioning schools they are. It’s not just military Peter O'Connor, from the University of Auckland — style education that partnership schools offer, while and perhaps more importantly, from the New Zealand Seymour admits that Vanguard gets the most press Educational Institute, the largest teachers’ union in the because it’s so unique and “I mean, I probably would country — holds the opposite view to David Seymour. never even have thought it was good idea, but here O’Connor insists that, with the amount of money spent we are”, there are schools like Te Kōpuku, which are per student at a partnership school being almost five targeted specifically at Māori education. Now, David times higher than a state school, the money could be Seymour insisted that the negatives you hear about better spent among already existing state schools to Partnership schools were “absolute bullshit”. Seymour help kids across all of New Zealand rather than the insisted that the clear majority of news being spread very limited number of kids currently in partnership against partnership schools was false propaganda, schools. O’Connor also says that partnership schools spread by teachers’ unions who were “terrified of create a wedge between public and private, to partnership schools” as the model “proved to New increase and hasten privatization in education. He Zealand” that kids can be educated without the harsh adds that charter schools are a direct attack on the regulations of a ministry, or the forced contracts of a teacher unions, and that sits at the very heart of this union. Seymour pressed home his point that teachers’ experiment, not lifting achievement of children in unions are to blame here as “organized labour is poorer areas of New Zealand. always afraid of competition”, Partnership schools are a I don’t know about you, but when great way to look at the basic and that there is “a lot of crap out there” when it comes I was in year 12 I was not taking ideologies of political parties to partnership schools, and to the streets to confess my love in New Zealand. One the before we parted ways for Burnside High School, as one side you have the ACT insisted once again that it Party libertarians insisting cool as it was. was all “absolute bullshit”. that partnerships are the It is clear David Seymour has a lot invested in these future of education as they push freedom for kids, partnership schools — the Member of Parliament was freedom for teachers, and freedom for parents. On part of the working group that set them up in the first the other side you get the Labour Party insisting that place, and has championed their effectiveness for a lack of regulations are dangerous not just for the years. But in the interest of fairness, I thought it would kids, but for the teachers as well, and will lead to be good to take a look at this “absolute bullshit” being drastic inequality. The Education Amendment Bill is spread around. speeding through Parliament now, and unless some Charter schools have attracted a lot of attention very determined protests or very convincing select for being poorly managed, bad for teachers, and bad committee applications are made, it seems that the for kids. Famously, the first ever charter school to open short-lived partnership school experiment will be a in this country practically failed in the first three weeks thing of the past. That is, unless the ACT Party get back and required the Ministry of Education to intervene as in to government any time soon. staff abandoned the school. Drugs became a problem among the students and the administration spent half of their annual budget on buying… a farm. While

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Lion's Teeth Nobody has ever said I would like to grow up to one day be a bureaucrat.

Or a sinecure; listless at a desk in the afternoon staring at immigrant landscapers from an office window like they are flowers in a garden, wet with sweat from guarding the marigolds against imperialist insects, moving across the tableau, the manicured lawns of America like checkers on a board only ever vaguely aware there's a sycophant who sits and watches them pull at weeds while he himself feels stuck like a staple in a stack of papers—sifting through time sheets and blank accounts receivables, waiting for someone to come and pluck him out of his hole like a dandelion and help him remember when, wiping his brow against the sun and waiting on a gust of wind he would hold the stem, and watch each seed blowing slowly away one by one, until he was left with nothing. – Taylor Bell

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TV — How Cable Television Ushered in the Golden Age of Modern Television Review by Connal Aird & George Bulleid

Free from the constraints of ad revenue and network executives, cable television, through a subscription-based and commercial-free avenue, brought a new type of long-form storytelling, which elevated television to a position alongside film — no longer its tackier younger sibling. Unlike network television which generally earns its revenue from the commercials that feature in between and during shows, cable is available behind a paywall, and is only available to the customers paying for it. Such a format means that cable television and the shows it produces are not subject to the wider censorship and content requirements that the more publicly-viewed network shows are.

In the late 1990s, television networks began developing a formula for easily digestible, one-off reality shows, medical dramas, and police procedurals, where the success of a TV show was dependent on its ratings rather than its quality. The network industry was centred around widely accessible television that didn’t challenge, offend, or confuse the viewers but ensured high levels of viewership, both for the shows themselves and the commercials which were running simultaneously. While this was happening, the minds behind cable television were taking an altogether different approach to their content.

With cable television not constraining itself by adhering to network television’s views on censorship, viewers were treated with stories spanning an entire season or series, with darker, grittier characters, and conflict taking centre stage. The level of creative and narrative freedom given to showrunners provided more room for strong character development, complex plot progression, and high-level tension, in part accommodated by an absence of commercials. This content-focused approach brought a level of depth not yet seen in the realm of television. Underpinning the freedom given to creators and the stories they tell

is the paid-for subscription and commercial-free format of cable television, which allows for more attention to be given to consumer demands and interests, and in turn, rewards audience loyalty. HBO and other cable networks saw the value in producing quality content that a certain number of people would be willing to pay for. From HBO’s The Sopranos and The Wire, to AMC’s Mad Men and Breaking Bad, and more recently, FX’s Mr Robot and Fargo, the focus put on unheroic protagonists, whose potentially questionable motives are able to be explored and explained, has ushered us into a golden era of modern television.

The Sopranos, debuting in 1999, set a benchmark for quality television, and ultimately deconstructed what a television show could be. Juxtaposing violent mob life with emotional family drama through the eyes of crime leader Tony Soprano (played by James Gandolfini in a career-defining role), the 6-season long show produced an epic series that neither network television nor film could match in either narrative or scope. The show provided social commentary on the US’s different cultures, generational gaps, and religious thought in a manner that elicited a strong human emotional response from its viewers. And despite such commentary, it was a show fully capable of offending and distressing viewers; a type of show that would never have suited the broad and accessible content dominating network television. Yet you would be hard pressed to find anyone who could turn it off, evidenced by its unprecedented acclaim and consistently high viewership numbers.

The risk HBO took in producing this show paid off, obliterating the walls constructed by network television for the benefit of quality programmes. For cable shows, of which there a large number now, the only real benchmark is that the work is good enough, so the customers come back.

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Film — The Oscars in Film (NOMINEES, AND POSSIBLE WINNERS. WHO KNOWS?)

The New: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri is a testament to grief, rage, and motherhood as we have not seen it before, in all its gritty, grounded, Molotov-cocktailing glory. In a strange, darkly potent way, it also seems to be the feminist film we didn’t know we needed. Frankly I could end the review there, however, the drive to rave about the film’s superb performances (lookin’ at you Frances McDormand, Woody Harrelson, and Sam Rockwell), and the homecoming of real female people to the silver screen is too strong.

Mildred Hayes, the protagonist you were never meant to like, goes on the gruelling journey to hold the police of Ebbing, Missouri accountable. Her teenage daughter was horrifically murdered, and no arrest was made.

Firstly, this film makes it super clear in the first ten minutes Mildred Hayes is not to be f**ked with, and in this way she is not the traditional film mother. Ground-breaking fact number one; Three Billboards has a female, middle aged lead, who is a mother, and is rightfully raging, (and at no point are we subjected to a brooding, somehow muddy, smudgy eyelinered, tank top wearing revenge mum).

Number two; she is not supposed to be likeable.

Women in film to hold screen time have had to be likeable or smushed into the virgin/mother/whore character tropes Hollywood is so fond of. The women of Three Billboards are real women, or clever commentaries on how women have been portrayed by Hollywood previously in those three archetypes. Women do appear in the forms of “the dim but pretty secretary”, and “the much younger girlfriend”, but these roles draw attention to themselves as stereotypes, ridiculed by the hyper-reality of Mildred Hayes. They make it blindingly obvious just how intense our suspension of disbelief has been when it comes to seeing actual women on screen.

Thankfully, Mildred Hayes is the refreshing kick in the nuts, or vagina, that cinema desperately needs to demonstrate how to write interesting, real, ~lady~ humans. My advice: watch Three Billboards, and wonder how a 300-word review could be enough.

– Meg Doughty

The Old: Skyfall (2012) 2012’s Skyfall opens with a frenzied chase across The Great Bazaar in Istanbul and with James Bond being shot in the shoulder, seemingly falling to his death. The trouble starts from there.

Nominated for five Oscars and winning two of them (for Best Original Song and Best Sound Editing), Skyfall broke the mold for the Bond franchise. After fifty years of the franchise, there still aren’t many better.

MI5’s been infiltrated by a mysterious hacker with a connection to M’s past. With their headquarters destroyed and a target on their back, James Bond must return from the dead in order to save the day. (Which he does do, thankfully, otherwise it’d be a pretty boring movie).

Skyfall is unique to the Bond franchise because it actually attempts to humanise Bond. James Bond is very rarely a three-dimensional character on screen. He’s a badass dude with a gun who hits on a lot of women, but we never get to see him be vulnerable or anything other than stoic. Skyfall changes all that. Bond must return to his ancestral home to fight the Bad Guy of the Week, and we get to see him break down and cry. It’s a refreshing change of pace for a character that we tend to see as untouchable and ‘more than’ human.

– Emma Maguire

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Music — Make Way For Love MARLON WILLIAMS

Make Way For Love is the excellent second album from up-and-coming Kiwi gem Marlon Williams.

This release follows his stellar self-titled debut from 2015, which outlined a disposition for new-school approaches to fundamentally old-school musical stylings in the country/singer-songwriter sphere.

Williams possesses one of the most characteristic and stunning voices in contemporary music (might seem hyperbolic, but have you heard the guy?).

Make Way For Love begins with the relaxed “Come To Me”, which sees Williams take a more restrained approach vocally in favour of a more altcountry direction – certainly different to much of the first album sonically. “What’s Chasing You” is one of my early favourites, positioning Williams’ Orbisonesque melody against an upbeat, almost a Flying Nun twee inspired set of guitars and drums. It’s groovy, and the hook is an absolute earworm.

Happy vibes aren’t really a commonality throughout Make Way For Love, however, as the record tells the story of Williams’ tumultuous relationship and breakup with fellow Kiwi starlet Aldous Harding. The two combine for a duet in the later stages of the album, entitled “Nobody Gets What They Want Anymore”.

Even though their vocal takes were recorded independently of each other, the chemistry shared

between the two throughout the track – in addition to an astoundingly dramatic arrangement – positions this track as the emotional epicentre of the album. The second half of the track sees Williams strip it back to the basics: just his voice and a softly strummed guitar. He sounds isolated, anxious, and distraught as he questions what he’ll do with himself now he doesn’t have her around. Whilst the break-up song or album is not a new concept, Williams creates a sense of genuineness through his vocal delivery that stirs all sorts of emotions in a listener – not unlike Jeff Buckley’s more intimate material. This style of singing/ writing pops up numerous times on the album, and tracks like “Beautiful Dress” and “The Fire Of Love” serve as further highlights in a similar vein.

All in all, Make Way For Love is a truly brilliant record. Williams wears his heart on his sleeve, and in doing so, adds another dimension to his music which was perhaps left vacant on his first record. I admire the scope of the record too – filled with longing ballads and seething critiques of love, he manages to flank these more negative or saddened songs with ones of hope. The title track, which concludes the record, could be likened to the odd feeling of happiness one experiences when they realise, despite the magnitude of the dissolution of a relationship, that everything might just be okay after all.

Review by Josh Ellery

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Music

Music — Ennui OPIUM EATER

Closing off 2017 was the release of Ennui from prominent Wellington Metal Band, Opium Eater. Having recently signed with Sydney-based "Art As Catharsis" records, this album was the springboard they needed to get them into the international market.

Ennui, meaning “a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement”, lives up to its name. Ambitiously taking on the task of musically recreating frustration, Ennui utilises “doomscapes” (audio landscapes built from emotional despair) to generate audio textures that overlap and create something beautiful.

Each track, although heavy, contains segments of interesting melodic work, and jangly guitar riffs. “The Effect Of A Tragedy On Its Spectators” utilises space and showcases Opium Eater's ability to diversify, while also giving the listeners a break from the intense Shepard tone-driven introduction track, “Collapse”.

The title track “Ennui”, and “Babelsteps”, are what made me really enjoy this album. Definitely two of the more commercial tracks, there’s something quite special about them, and the riffs can get stuck in your head if you’re into metal/doom, or anything slow and headbang-worthy.

My one problem with the album is the track “Post-Tense”. While a nice song, with great vocals and guitar riffs, it sticks out amidst the rest of the album. It could almost belong on a Radiohead album, if Thom Yorke decided to dye his hair black and get bangs.

Review by Jimi Wilson

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Talking to my Daughter about the Economy Yanis Varoufakis I have tried to read various economics books over the years, with the idea that I really should educate myself about this force that causes both anguish and glee. However, I have often found the writing of economic “experts” unclear and tangled with inadequate examples.

Yanis Varoufakis is an expert, as an economics professor and the former Finance Minister of Greece.

However, his writing is far from inaccessible. While his other books have long insufferable titles, with words like “Europe,” “establishment,” and “austerity,” his book Talking to My Daughter About the Economy (recently published in English) is a far more approachable explanation of economics for confused young people.

As the title indicates, the book was purportedly written for Varoufakis’ fifteen year old daughter, Xenia, who asked him one day about why inequality exists. My curiosity could not help but be drawn in by the personal details; memories of holidays together, or possessions shared between father and daughter. This premise makes for some awkward constructions however, with odd blends of the personal and universal, with lines like “Greece, my country, and the country you consider your own even though you live in Australia,” jarring the reader.

However, Varoufakis doesn’t linger on his daughter.

She’s just an excuse, a vehicle — perhaps a gimmick.

Instead, this slim book is focused on clearly and concisely explaining the economy to people who do not think they have a stake in it.

While the book is short, it does make for some dense reading, with sweeping statements like “The triumph of exchange values over experiential values changed the world,” which are then followed by considerable

elaboration without time to process. Yet Varoufakis almost never confuses, and presents a way of thinking about money, currency, consumerism, and financial crises that all fit together simply. From the first chapter he is precise and engaging in a way that I did not realise economists could be. This is mainly due to Varoufakis’ use of multiple stories and anecdotes, from The Matrix to Oedipus Rex, to make emotional connections to the economy.

Talking to My Daughter About the Economy feels like it is written for people who might see the creation of an entirely new global order, as Varoufakis tracks moments of incredible change, like the first agricultural revolution, the industrial revolution, and the most recent global financial crisis, and ties them elegantly to the economy.

He even touches on the inevitable future, and explains how Bitcoin works (in a way that actually makes sense!), and its advantages and disadvantages in a few brief paragraphs.

Other economics books I’ve read seem to place far too much faith in capitalism and trickle down effects. A strength of Varoufakis’ book is that it aligned with my views considerably more, and the rage that Varoufakis feels at capitalism, what it has done to the planet and his own country specifically, simmers constantly.

The final message of the book is one of hope. It is vital, Varoufakis says, as a young person, as an inheritor of the earth, to decide “whether you adapt your behavior to suit market society’s needs, or become obstinate enough to want to adapt society to your own ideas of what [it] should be like”.

The economy may be screwed, but in Varoufakis’ eyes, the actions of this generation mean there is still some hope for the future.

Review by Shanti Mathias

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Podcast — RNZ Mediawatch Review by Hannah Patterson

A significant number of the podcasts I talk and write about could be loosely classed as “guilty pleasures” (although I must admit, I feel no shame). However, RNZ’s Mediawatch is no such podcast. It is all pleasure, no guilt.

Mediawatch is an RNZ programme presented by Colin Peacock that can be found both on the radio and as a podcast. The focus of the podcast is to provide a critical look at how current events are being covered, managed, and reported by the New Zealand media.

As well as this, international media and technological advancements that are relevant to New Zealanders are often discussed. The episodes can range anywhere from 4 to 40 minutes and come out on a weekly basis.

Mediawatch is not only an easy way to keep up with current events, it’s a great way to remain critical and actively engage in topical issues. By analysing how a variety of media outlets have covered the same issue Mediawatch exposes the bias, holes or misleading nature of any of the coverage. The programme itself is relatively unbiased and adopts a fact-based tone, rather than one driven by opinion or agenda. By the end of an episode the listener is left to draw their own conclusions and develop their own opinion.

In media studies, the idea that “media is like water” is often referenced. Just as fish cannot see the water they swim in, people are often blind or oblivious to the functioning of the normalised systems they are immersed in. News media has traditionally been heralded as a form of “truth”, an unbiased reporting of information.

However, in a “post-truth” age plagued with concerns of “fake news” it is important to question what we consume.

This is what Mediawatch offers, and it does so merely by observing New Zealand media outlets, companies, and regulators, and broadcasting the findings. Mediawatch lifts the curtain so that we, the general public, can see the gears turning and check that our news media is functioning responsibly.

This may all sound very dry and boring but friends, I assure you, Mediawatch actually makes for pretty chill listening. The episodes are fast-paced, lively and an easy way to stay informed!

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Food — Wholesome Soup Review by Tom Hall

Usually after a few days of gorging meat and bread, I feel like I’ve fallen into five-a-day debt that even berocca can’t save me from. This is a cheap and tasty soup that sneaks in some good veg. I can usually make this last for a dinner and a couple of lunches, but it can also be reduced down and turned into pasta sauce. This is great to make while fresh tomatoes are cheap. You can always use canned to fill it out but fresh is best.

Ingredients 1/2 a capsicum ($0.75) 4 medium tomatoes ($1.00) 1 onion ($0.30) 3 cloves of garlic ($0.10) Splash of oil (<$0.05) Pinch of salt and pepper(<$0.05) 3 pinches of paprika ($0.05) 3 pinches of rosemary ($0.05 or have a look around your neighborhood and take the pinch literally) 1 can of tomatoes ($1.00) Optional 2 Sausages ($2.50) Or 1 can of chickpeas ($2.00)

Method Dice the onion and capsicum into small chunks, and cook them on medium heat in a pot with a splash of oil until the onions become translucent and the capsicum begins to smell sweet. Then add the crushed garlic, paprika, and rosemary. Either turn the heat down or watch the garlic, you don't want it to burn and taste bitter. While these are cooking, quarter some tomatoes and put them in the pot too. When they start to fall apart, crack some pepper and sprinkle some salt into the vegetables. Add the can of tomatoes and place a lid on the pot. If this is kept at a low temperature and regularly stirred none of the ingredients will burn. It can stay like this for several hours, a long cooking time helps develop the flavors better. Add some water if it needs it, but be conservative. If you like your soups chunky, leave it how it is. If you're a fan of smooth

soups, wait for it to cool, and then run it through a food processor or use a blender. At this point the recipe is vegetarian and vegan.

To add meat to the soup, slice a lightly fried sausage into several rounds (like thick coins of meat). Fry the circular ends brown so they don't fall apart in the soup. Add this to the soup before you add the can of tomatoes. If you leave the sausages in there for 30 mins they are guaranteed to be cooked properly.

If you're looking for protein but you're not about consuming animal flesh, drain a can of chickpeas and add them the same way you would add sausages.

Serves two 38

*Art* — The Kiosk Review by Zoe Higgins

Fans of the VicBooks collective will already be familiar with their longrunning installation/performance work The Kiosk.

Drawing on a range of influences, from French semioticians to HansPeter Feldmann’s ‘store art’, The Kiosk asks us to consider the function of a store.

The basis of the work is a “satellite store”, or kiosk, near the established university bookshop. In a Magrittean twist, this smaller “VicBooks” contains no books, instead serving real coffee and snacks to participating audience members. The Kiosk thus stretches the relationship between sign and signified, its physical presence declaring that ceci n’est pas un libraire. Its nature as an interactive installation work inflects this old theme with a performative sensibility: The Kiosk constantly (re)enacts meaning, questioning how we define the space of a bookshop and what actions are necessary to mark that space.

Given the ever-growing supremacy of Kobo and Kindle, this is not an idle question. Bookshops are more than simply places of purchase: they represent a culture of browsing, considering, searching, and learning.

They are semi-public spaces in which a particular relationship to literature is acted out. Created by an art collective which also runs a real bookshop, The Kiosk is an urgent attempt to question what might happen to those spaces in a future where physical books are increasingly rare.

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Theatre — How to Write an Album in 12hrs Review by Emilie Hope

I have a particularly good understanding of the theatre making process, but when it comes to writing an album, not so much. What if there was a way to combine the spontaneity of the music with the display of theatre, and the collaboration of band members and audience alike?

Oh wait, there is a show like that! It’s called How to Write an Album in 12 Hours! #HTWAAI12H is a devised Masters of Fine Arts (MFA) show directed by the multi-talented Liam Kelly, and I was fortunate enough to see it in January as part of the Victoria University’s Summer of 77 mini festival. Each hour, the band, The Undercuts, had to write and perform a song based on their own hourly challenges (i.e. drop a beat, swap instruments, create a song in silence, etc.), as well as material from the audience, which was then released on Facebook half an hour later by Oliver Devlin – amazing!

One of my friends described the role of the audience as “actively relaxing” – I couldn’t agree more. It felt like we were in someone’s lounge jamming together (and I can’t really “jam”). The set had the band on a small stage and the audience had couches, bean bags, and pillows to sit on, and a food table in the corner. They had a “banana chair” for an audience member to sit in if they had an idea and the band wasn’t paying them attention.

Their album cover was set up the opposite side of the room on an easel for anyone to add to its art.

My favourite aspect of this show was its inclusion.

The Undercuts and Kelly were so warm and welcoming, actively speaking to the audience to encourage suggestions. It didn’t feel like the band was making this music on their own – everyone in the room was making

it and everyone was invested in it, which made it even more fun.

I came to the hour of “phone”. The Undercuts called forth an audience member to ring someone and ask who they had a fight with most recently, and what the context of the fight was. We rang two people with the first audience member, and it went to voicemail. The next audience member called three people, all of the calls went to voicemail, but five minutes later she received seven texts. A comment was made about how we as a society might not pick up the phone, but will write a message later. A conversation started about the last fight she was in, which was more like someone going cold on her and freezing her out. Ghosting. And thus the song was sparked, my personal favourite.

Each member of The Undercuts are extremely talented in their instrument, and open in their discussion with the audience and themselves. Zoe Joblin was simply bangin’ on the drums, and Pippa Drakeford-Croad, lead singer, is a lyrical genius with the pipes to fill Studio 77 and genuinely quite entertaining. Everyone should be proud of this show, and everyone, not just musos, should see this show!

Each song was named with the audience, as was the album, One Night Band, which is available to listen to for free on Soundcloud (I downloaded Soundcloud specifically so that I could listen to them!).

And the best part is that the show will be back for the Fringe Festival, Sunday 11th of March from 12pm to 12am at Meow! Be sure not to miss this awesome experience!

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Art — In Between Review by Jane Wallace

This week there are some gallery doors closing, and others opening. It is hard to arrange thoughts when you’re in between, so here are some magnetic events and exhibitions to fill in these spaces.

Hardening at Enjoy Public Art Gallery, until 10 March, free entry Aliyah Winter stands in a white garment, in an echoing landscape. It feels echoing, but there is no audio to tell. Her solo exhibition revisits the history of Dr. Hjelmar von Danneville, and the implication of Miramar and Matiu Island in this history, considering representations of gender and sexuality.

The Language of Things: Meaning and Value in Contemporary Jewellery at The Dowse, till 24 June, free entry The objects that we adorn ourselves with, that we protect ourselves with, are so intimately entangled with our body. These are things that can be simultaneously precious and worthless, that are sometimes not even a whole object when severed from us. Yuka Oyama is part of this show, whose work explores the temporary homes that objects can provide for us, especially in lives that are never of any static location.

Teju Cole: Blind Spot, in conversation with Paula Morris at Circa, 10 March, $19 + booking fee (from New Zealand Festival website) Teju Cole is a writer, photographer, and art historian, and he synthesises these things in his book Blind Spot.

In every image, Blind Spot makes an object out of the gap from one thing to the next. The images are sparse, fugitive, but the absence of definite subject makes it more present by proxy. His accompanying text is a drill bit in your brain; persistent, steely silver sharp, and brilliant.

He Tohu at National Library Te Puna Mātauranga o Aotearoa, permanent exhibition, free entry Here are three important documents together: He Whakaputanga, Te Tiriti o Waitangi, and the Women’s Suffrage Petition, in an exhibition rich in content and design. He Tohu offers an opportunity to understand the consequences of each of these papers, and reflect and challenge our own relationships to them.

Luke Willis Thompson at Adam Art Gallery Te Pātaka Toi, till 15 April, free entry Kathy Noble wrote of Luke Willis Thompson’s work that “art of this nature can be easy to celebrate and easy to criticise”. This “nature” is very loud, and also very stealthy. Thompson has occupied the gallery with three large-scale video works that ask a lot more questions than they answer, seeking some sort of “form for political silence”. This is a silence that is, perhaps, the most deafening.

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Pisces (Feb 19 - March 20) Be careful not to burn yourself out when trying to be the life of the party on Wednesday night, as you are easily exhausted emotionally. Be wary of confusing short lived sexual impulses for more meaningful romantic ones. Perhaps try synchronised swimming, or just invest in a vibrator.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22) Your judgement may be unclear and impulsive, overstimulation will affect your clarity and your head will feel all over the place. Be wary of reacting to this in ways that may hurt those around you. It’s important you constantly keep yourself in check. Drink plenty of water and avoid too much caffeine.

Aries (March 21 - Apr 19) Expect to feel a little restless and unfulfilled this week, but the waning moon makes now a good time to tie loose ends and finish anything you're unsure of, such as relationships or creative projects. Trust your instincts and pay attention to your dreams. Wear green and blue to help tap into your subconscious knowledge and psychic abilities.

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22) Be grateful for what you have and avoid stewing over what you don’t, you'll likely start feeling a little more complete towards the end of the week. Timing and communication are a bit out of whack and conflict is likely. Allow yourself to rest and think about your coping mechanisms.

Drowning your sorrows has never worked for anyone long term, but a wine or two this week will serve you well.

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20) You’ll find yourself wanting to see the best in everyone this week, which will be useful if you have any long-lasting resentment that you need to let go of. Now is a good time to address conflicts or personal grievances in a mature way. Avoid burned foods, eat lots of fruit.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21) Expect to feel as though your values are in conflict with those you usually see as kindred spirits in the first half of the week. Mars may fuel a desire for retail therapy, but commodity fetishism isn’t the answer to your woes, sweet Scorpio. Tune in to what's going on around you, and be observant of the wrongdoings of others.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20) You may feel emotionally taxed this week, after Venus and Mercury leave Pisces on Wednesday.

Be wary of who you fall in love with. Your friends are doing you more good than you realise. You may need to sleep a little more than usual. Take naps if you need them. Buy yourself roses and leave one on the mantelpiece.

Sagitarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21) Romanticising the past and glorifying unhealthy lifestyle choices and mental states will only wear you down. Saturn’s interaction with the sun will make you driven to get on top of things financially and sort your shit out in general. Take advantage of this for the beginning of your university year.

Put fresh sheets on your bed, buy a nice pen and write something pseudo-inspirational on a toilet cubicle wall.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22) Recently you've grown a little more patient with others, but you’ll likely be feeling a little frustrated after a creatively stagnant period. Don’t wallow over this too much, as your subconscious is cooking up something exciting, and it's likely to come to fruition after Wednesday. Tune into your strong ability to read people, quietly guess people’s favourite colours when you meet them.

Pay attention to the conversations you overhear on the bus.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19) Urges to blurt out things you don’t really mean, or agree to things you don’t really want, may seem like appealing remedies to your boredom.

It’s better that you keep to yourself, get a book out from the library, or watch a film or two. The waning moon will bring a sense of calm. Go for a swim or paint your nails silver.

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) Your imagination will be running ahead of you this week and you may feel drawn to conflict.

Although it’s best to avoid hasty decisions, agreements, or confessions of hatred, don’t shy away from your sudden bursts of inspiration.

Let your daily routine become a little more fluid, reschedule appointments if you feel that it’s necessary. Forget what your mother told you, sugar will do your psyche good this week.

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18) The impulses fuelled by your multifaceted and incredibly psychic nature are more likely to serve you kindly and lead to exciting outcomes this week. Let your dissatisfaction drive you to be more creative and innovative. Dancing alone and wearing bright clothes will be beneficial over the next few days.

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FUN

LITERAL MURDER

Dad Joke of the Week

When is a door not a door?

When it's a jar!

Mary Barnett is a librarian and an Information Studies student at Pipitea.

This is her Dad. Send us your worst Dad jokes to editor@salient.org.nz and be in to win a double pass to the Raw Comedy Festival!

Larrikins

Comic by Anton Huggard, Horiscope by Lilly McElhone, & Soduku by Nathan Hotter

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WELCOME! VICTORIA FIRST YEAR DESIGN & ARCHITECTURE STUDENTS Evil Empire

We have all the materials and equipment you need to get started on Day One, including premade ready-to-go

Y S A E BAS/BBS ARCH & BDI DESIGN AS! MATERIAL & EQUIPMENT PACKS

These PACKS are heavily discounted to SAVE you heaps!

Come on into the store. BDI Kit is also available online!

FREE Delivery to your Halls of Res. (or within Wgtn City)

FRE E IVE RY *

DEL

BDI search ‘victoria uni’on www.gordonharris.co.nz

182 Vivian St WELLINGTON OPEN 7 DAYS Mon-Fri 8.30am-5.30pm Sat/Sun 10.00am-4.00pm (Just Off Cuba St)

Over 40yrs experience serving Victoria University Students!

BEST PRICES • BIGGEST RANGE • FRIENDLY, KNOWLEDGEABLE STAFF 44

2018 2018

LEARN HOW TO BALANCE STUDY, SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL LIFE

FOOD TRUCK THURSDAY

MONDAY 5TH MARCH

Thursday 8th of March Tim Beaglehole Courtyard 11-4PM

FEELINGS 101 PUPPIES & BUNNIES! DRINKS AND NIBBLES

BRING YOUR CASH TO BUY YUMMY MUNCHIES

AM102 & 104 FROM 3:30PM

Fact OF Th He E DAY

TUESDAY 6TH MARCH

QUIZ SPECIAL

with Fletch, Vaughan & Megan

WEDNESDAY 7 MARCH The Ultimate Showdown between Vic & Massey Hotel Bristol from 7pm Teams of 4-8 people

Register online at www.vuwsa.org.nz/oweek

45

LUKE WILLIS THOMPSON 21.2.18–15.4.18

Adam Art Gallery Te Pātaka Toi, Victoria University of Wellington, Gate 3, Kelburn Parade, Tuesday – Sunday 11–5pm, www.adamartgallery.org.nz The gallery is located beside the Student 46 Union Building on Kelburn campus.

The People to Blame Editor Louise Lin

Sub Editor Sally Harper

Contributors Marlon Drake, Connor Macleod, Jade Gifford, Ace Visser, Erin Page, Danica Soich, Gus Mitchell, Bua Raphiphattha, Erica Schouten, Taylor Bell, Shanti Mathias, Kii Small, Jazz Kane, Lauren Spring, Salman Abbasnejad, Meg Doughty, Jimi Wilson, Nathan Hotter, Anton Huggard, Mary Barnett’s Dad, Sash’s Dad, Grahame Woods, Teri O’Neill, Max Tweedie, Zoe Higgins, Lily McElhone

Disributor Tejas Kalidas

FM Station Managers Kii Small & Jazz Kane

Chief News Reporter Angus Shaw

TV Producers Elise Lanigan & Lauren Spring

Feature Writers Isabelle McNeur Kate Green Samantha Mythen Christopher James Nixon

Contact editor@salient.org.nz www.salient.org.nz Level 2, Student Union Building, Victoria University PO Box 600, Wellington

Designer/Illustrator Ruby Ash New Editor Sasha Beattie

Section Editors Connal Aird & George Bulleid (TV) Emma Maguire (Film) Josh Ellery (Music) Emilie Hope (Theatre) Alex Feinson (Books) Jane Wallace (Arts) Hannah Patterson (Podcast) Tom Hall (Food) News Writers Laura Sutherland, Jamie Schouten, Olivia Philip, Johnny O’Hagen Brebner, Harry Clatworthy, Tom Danby, Rhiannon Thomas, Poppy Donaghue, Katie Meadows

About Us Salient is employed by, but editorially independent from, the Victoria University Students’ Association (VUWSA).

Salient is a proud member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association.

Complaints People with a complaint against the magazine should complain in writing to the editor at editor@salient.org.nz and then, if not satisfied with the response, to VUWSA. Social Media fb.com/salientmagazine T: @salientmagazine I: @salientgram S: salientmag Contributor of the Week Johnny O'Hagen Brebner Read Salient online at salient.org.nz

Printed By Inkwise Sponsors Zealandia, Chow, Cable Car Advertising Kate Valintine advertising@vuwsa.org.nz 04 463 6982

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