Issue 15 | Strange and Absurd

Issue #15

Volume 81

Strange & Absurd

Fever Hospital – 16 On the Rink of Disaster – 22 In The Room With Greg Sestero – 26

EDITOR'S LETTER 3 NEWS News 4 Politics 9 Opinion 10 *News* 12 Informative Distraction 13 LETTERS & NOTICES 14 POEM 15 FEATURES Fever Hospital 16 On the Rink of Disaster 22 In the Room with Greg Sestero 26 CENTREFOLD 24 COLUMNS UniQ: The Queer Agenda 31 The “F” Word 31 Presidential Address 32 VUWSA 32 Super Science Trends 33 SWAT 34 PSC: One Ocean 34 Environment 35 NT: Te Ara Tauira 36 The International Angle 36 REVIEWS Art 36 Books 38 Films 39 TV 40 Music 41 Podcast 42 Theatre 43 Food 44 ENTERTAINMENT Horoscope 45 Distractions 46

Editor's Letter Bus or Bust and Toi Whakaari. Now there’s only the 18e, which runs during “peak times” — before and after the 9-5 working day. So convenient for students.

Back in 2015, when the Greater Wellington Regional Council was proposing scrapping the 18, students were vocally opposed. Then VUWSA president Rick Zwaan said that scrapping the 18 would bring “increased travel times, as well as inaccessible transfers” to students, especially those with mobility impairments. They set up a public meeting. They made tee shirts in protest.

The 18 was still cut.

Thirdly. There’s no point in having cheaper buses if catching a ride on a bus is just a little harder than catching a ride on an angry pig. That moment when the last two scheduled buses haven’t arrived, and you’re frantically downloading Zoomy last minute in order to catch the last 30 seconds of your PSYC lecture is... not fantastic.

And then seeing three buses arrive at once is kind of laughable. While the out-of-whack schedule and funky bus driving can be attributed to teething problems if you’re feeling generous, Metlink could have planned it better.

The double deckers are cool (yeah gotta give them that). The blue lights are weird, and moving the bus stop outside Pip further away just seems silly.

I wanna live in a city that’s friendly to students, listens to what we have to say, and where “improvements” actually improve things. Accessibility isn’t just about price, it’s about all the different aspects of the bus ride experience.

Are you feeling feels about the bus situation? Hit us up at editor@salient.org.nz to bitch to your heart’s content.

Without our public transport, we’d be pretty fucked.

For new arrivals to our city, it’s often the only affordable way to get around. For many students, it’s a staple in our daily commute to and from uni.

VUWSA has campaigned since 2013 for Fairer Fares — a 25% discount on our bus fee. That’s five years of meetings, submissions, and kicking up a fuss.

Two weeks ago, we finally got our fares fairer. A big win. Most of the people who worked on the campaign aren’t even students anymore but hey, we’re all doing it for the next generation, right?

But amid the turmoil of all the bus changes, things aren’t as celebratory as it could be.

Yeah we got cheaper bus fares. But we also got a bunch of other shit with it.

Firstly, the discount isn’t available to part time students. Sure, Metlink would be saving a few extra bucks by not giving part timers a discount, but is it really worth it? Having to sort out which students are full-time and limited full time takes a bunch of extra paperwork.

Currently, to get the long-awaited 25% off, limited full time students have to hit up MSD to get a MSD acceptance letter, then go to the i-Site to get the bus card. Limited full time students are studying part time because they would struggle to finish a full-time workload, because of a disability, medical condition, or language barriers. We all know how fun it is to deal with MSD. Giving the extra legwork to the most vulnerable of our population is… such a good idea, right?

Part-timers need to go to class too. Most part-time students will still be taking out student loans, and will be just as in debt as anyone else.

It could be so much easier if all students had a discount. We could just flash a student ID and go on our way.

Second. The 18, known as the “Campus Connection” has been canned. The popular route linked Wellington’s eastern suburbs with Vic’s Kelburn and Te Aro campuses, as well as Massey

LOUISE LIN Editor

3

The News MONDAY 30 JULY 2018

Mental Health Crisis in Halls on the Rise VITA MOLYNEUX CW: Self harm and suicide attempts *names of RAs have been changed for anonymity Statistics of self-harm incidents and suicide attempts in Victoria University's halls have more than doubled in the last five years, from nine incidents in 2013 to 20 incidents in 2017 (note that these statistics only reflect incidents which have been reported and recorded. Students are not required to report incidents).

Alex*, an RA, said they were “not that surprised” by the statistics. In their hall, there have been three or four self harm or attempted suicide incidents this year already.

An earlier Salient article has reported that training for Residential Assistants has decreased from five weeks to three this year. RAs have reported feeling underprepared for a crisis situation. Alex said that after training, they were left “very scared about encountering these incidents”.

Sam, an RA at Te Puni hall for the year of 2017, said the lack of training predated this year. “We spent 3 hours in a talking circle talking about what [mental health crises] looked like, but not much about what to do when someone comes to you with a problem. In a lot of cases, there was rarely any hands-on training about what to do”.

The Director of Student and Campus Living, Rainsforth Dix, reported that from 2013-2017, RAs were the first person on the scene of a mental health crisis situation about 50% of the time.

Sam said that “the estimate is way off. In pretty much every serious incident I know of, RAs have been the first person on the scene”.

Alex said in their hall, incidents generally happen at night,

when RAs are often the only staff rostered on. They weren’t aware of any incidents in their hall that were managed by the Student Support co-ordinator or the hall manager. If there were, they said, “we wouldn’t get told about it”.

Dix justified the cuts in training, saying that "the key role of RAs is to engage students in community life, not to manage issues and incidents. Decisions made following the review have shifted responsibility for incident management back to senior staff”.

In a crisis situation, Dix recommends that RAs report to upper management such as the Student Support Coordinator or the hall manager.

Alex disputed Dix’s statement that RAs are not responsible for managing issues and incidents. “But then — what is our job?” they said. “We’re rostered on for 16-24 hours overnight, we’re the only ones there to respond [to incidents].”

While some nights there are Night Managers on duty, the Night Manager’s job is more akin to that of a security guard, managing drunk students and kicking out guests.

According to Sam, the SSC is only onsite “two days a week, whereas the RA is there seven days a week”. Not only are RAs often the first response, they said, but they also take on the role of the extended care staff, as they plan to accommodate and aid students who are struggling with their mental health throughout the year.

The training provided to RAs also recommends calling CATT (Wellington Crisis Management Team) when situations related to mental health arise. Reportedly, CATT has been an unreliable solution. “[CATT] didn’t wanna deal with [a suicide attempt] because the person had been drinking," said Sam. “They said I had to call an ambulance, which was 45 minutes away”.

RAs have been warned not to talk to media. After Salient published a piece about the reduction in training times earlier this year, RAs got “a stern talking to” and were warned not to talk to us. “Fearing your job’s gonna go is kind of awful,” said Alex.

Number of Self Harm and Suicide Attempts in Victoria University Halls Recorded Centrally 30 25 Number of Incidents

Where to Get Help Free call or text 1737 anytime for support from a trained counsellor Safe to Talk (sexual violence) — 0800 044 334 or text 4334 Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP) Youthline (for youth) – 0800 376 633 or free text 234 Outline (LGBTQIA+) – 0800 688 5463 Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) Healthline – 0800 611 116 to talk to a registered nurse Samaritans – 0800 726 666 Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757 Anxiety New Zealand — 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY) The Lowdown NZ (for youth) — free text 5626 or visit thelowdown.co.nz

20 15 10 5

2013

2014

2015

2016

2017

Years

4

NEWS

MONDAY 30 JULY 2018

Seabed Mining Exploration Goes Against Iwi Wishes SHANTI MATHIAS Petroleum New Zealand explained that while the zone prevents mining, exploration activity is allowed, as long as it is not seismic (i.e. potentially triggering earthquakes), and as the proposed activity does not include seismic exploration, the exploration permit was granted.

NZP&M said that they took account of the submissions and consulted with iwi; however, they monitor industrial practice, not the environment. Environmental concerns around proposed seabed mining are dealt with by the Environmental Protection Authority and DOC, and regional councils if/when resource consent is needed.

The wāhi tapu site of concern was not within the area of the exploration permit, and so the iwi’s worries were ignored.

Because the exploration is within twelve nautical miles of the shore, it comes under the domain of Taranaki Regional Council, which does not require the company to get resource consent for exploration.

NZP&M requires all holders of mining permits to engage with Māori who may be affected by mineral exploitation in the area, or whose rohe adjoins the proposed area of exploration.

Though these stipulations may be encouraging, iwi are “fundamentally opposed to any new mining or prospecting activity taking place within our rohe,” said Te Kāhui o Taranaki Trust Chairperson Leanne Horo.

“Although it’s only exploration at this stage, the implication is that if exploration is successful there is an expectation that a mining permit will be granted in an area that excludes this activity,” said Te Kotahitanga o Te Atiawa Trust Chairperson Liana Poutu.

Currently, there are two mining permits, one prospecting permit, and three petroleum mining licences which overlap with protected marine areas in New Zealand.

An ironsand exploration permit has been issued to Ironsands Offshore Mining Limited in Taranaki, against the wishes of the local iwi.

In September 2016 Te Kotahitanga o Te Atiawa Trust and Te Kāhui o Taranaki Trust were told that an application for an exploration permit in their rohe was under consideration. Both iwi groups made submissions against the application; despite this, the permit was granted in May this year. The iwi were informed a month later. According to New Zealand Petroleum and Minerals (NZP&M) this is a “normal” timeframe.

The permit allows ironsands exploration to take place within West Coast North Island Marine Mammal Sanctuary, which is close to a protected area and a marine reserve. The area protects sea mammals such as the endangered Māui dolphin.

“We find it difficult to understand how one arm of government, New Zealand Petroleum and Minerals, can cut across another arm of government [DOC] and make these kinds of decisions without engagement on the issue,” said iwi in a press release.

“Environmental impacts of activities proposed under a permit are not considered under the CMA [Crown Minerals Act],” said NZP&M. They are responsible for administering the Crown Minerals Act and granting permits, but mainly consider economic implications.

“NZ Petroleum and Minerals are not required to notify DOC when deciding on an application for exploration activities under the Crown Minerals Act 1991. Therefore, DOC was not involved in this process,” said Ian Angus, DOC’s Marine Species and Threats Manager. “DOC’s interests under all these legislative roles are about protecting species, ecosystems, and biodiversity.”

Clubs Funding Pool Runs Dry

MacLeod is more concerned at the way clubs funding is structured. He believes they should move towards an investment model, by giving money to support clubs towards self-sustainability.

An anonymous student has said that the “unusually early” funding issues was due to a preference for earlier, bulk spending by clubs this year.

Emails from 14 and 28 June from Vic Rec to clubs indicated funding had mostly run out by then.

For the remainder of the year, the Sponsorship Panel will be reviewing a waitlist of applications for 2019, and allocating unspent funding returned by clubs. MacLeod indicated that the latter would not be a significant amount of funding.

He was unable to comment on whether Victoria Recreation would be willing or able to allocate more funding for the funding pool.

A panel comprised of VUWSA, a Club Council member, and Vic Rec Staff will be reviewing funding grant processes and criteria for club funding.There will also be consultation with clubs regarding the future of clubs support at the University.

MacLeod looks forward to this process, and appreciates that both VUWSA and VUW are “passionate” about clubs and recreation at the university.

Representative Group funding is a separate pool from clubs funding and has not run out yet.

JOHNNY O'HAGAN BREBNER Victoria University’s funding pool for clubs has run out for the 2018 academic year.

Several sources, including the Clubs Administrator and the Clubs and Activities Officer, confirmed that the clubs funding pool has been exhausted in July this year.

Victoria University administers clubs, rep-groups, and recreation through Victoria Recreation. “Vic Rec” allocated $208,000 to the funding pool for 2018, down from $230,000 in 2017 (a 9.5% drop).

This budget is allocated to clubs, athletes, and other areas.

Funding applications are assessed by the Sponsorship Panel.

Connor MacLeod, VUWSA Clubs and Activities Officer, chairs the panel in partnership with Vic Rec. MacLeod explained that the Panel’s assessment of applications is largely discretionary with “no real guidelines” aside from funding caps.

Although acknowledging that it was “not good” that funding has run out, he stands by the funding decisions made.

5

NEWS

Students Call for Higher Student Allowance

MONDAY 30 JULY 2018

than in previous years. In the last twelve months, the committee received 359 applications, compared to 301 in 2017. The university noted that the rise could be “due to increased appointment availability” and “active promotion of the fund”.

When asked if the current levels of government support for students were adequate for students to support themselves week to week, Thorburn said that the student allowance isn’t intended to cover all weekly expenses and “students need to make up the difference as necessary”.

VUWSA president Marlon Drake said that the $50 increase was a really positive start to addressing the financial barriers to education. He said, “it is only a start to helping close a big gap, it still has made an impact on the lives of many of our students… I think the feedback [received by VUWSA] has been really positive and the fact is that students can access more money than they could previously. In my mind it’s a success but still it’s still a first step”.

“What we would really like to see is a Universal Student Allowance which is accessible for everyone, I think it’s just unacceptable for students to have to study full time and work stupid hours as well.”

When asked about if allowance should be scaled to factor in regional rent prices and transport costs, Drake said, “I’m unsure really about how it should be implemented but I’m definitely not opposed to looking at it geographically and seeing what makes most sense for Wellington, what makes most sense for the Auckland region, what makes most sense for Christchurch. But really the way we need to calculate it is how much is rent, how much is food, how much are your bills and that’s your allowance”.

Minister of Education Chris Hipkins said that “The Government is committed to addressing cost of living pressures in cities”. He said that “We have heard the concerns of students and their families who have told us cost is a real barrier to taking on tertiary study and training”.

When asked whether current rates of student allowance were adequate for students to support themselves, Hipkins said, “It’s certainly a big step towards making tertiary education and training more affordable”.

ANGUS SHAW Student allowance went up by $50 per week at the beginning of the year. Many students say they are still struggling despite the increase.

Studylink does not account for regional rent prices or other factors such as the cost of transport, the level of financial support students receive from their parents, or the increases in electricity bills during the colder months Chloe Davies, a fourth year law student at Victoria, criticized the student allowance for being assessed through a limited scope. “At the moment it's all or nothing,” she said.

Brittany Florence-Bennett, a Masters of Science candidate in Ecology and Biodiversity told Salient that the $50 raise in allowance helped her and her friends. Prior to the increase, $170 allowance with $40 accommodation supplement only just covered the cost of her $200 a week rent. The increase allowed her to work less hours at her part-time job, however she still finds difficulty keeping up with the living costs of Wellington.

“This year I am working less because of the $50 increase with 10-15 hours a week, however I still have three part-time jobs and did work all summer to get some savings.”

“I definitely think increased rent/transport prices should be taken into account. I have a friend who went to Massey in Palmerston North who was only paying $75 rent a week, and who also had free busses to uni.”

Pam Thorburn, Director of Student Academic Services, said that the university saw more hardship applications in 2018

Recycling at Vic: We Can Do Better

looking at ways to improve what we do,” she said.

Salient hit the dumpsters to find out where Vic’s recycling goes. Here’s what we found.

Paper and glass goes to Auckland, cardboard goes to Tokoroa, and aluminum and steel cans are sent overseas to be recycled.

Plastic recycling is more complex. Grade 1 plastics (e.g. plastic bottles and clear containers) are recycled into foodgrade packaging. “Excess” grade 1 is sent overseas to be made into carpets and polar fleece jerseys.

20% of Wellington’s grade 2-7 plastics go to Palmerston North, where they are recycled into bin liners or plastic feedstock (used to make more plastic). The remaining 80% is sent overseas.

WCC estimates that the city sent 578 tonnes of plastic to Indonesia, Malaysia, and Thailand in 2017.

The Wellington City Council has asked the Government to implement the Local Government Waste Manifesto. According to WasteMINZ, the manifesto calls “Associate Environment Minister Eugenie Sage to make key changes, which will allow central and local government to work together effectively to achieve the government’s goal of minimising waste to landfill with significant reductions in all waste classes”.

The initiative comes after China’s announcement to reduce its waste and recycle imports, forcing countries like New Zealand to deal with their own waste.

The Wellington City Council website offers a recycling directory that instructs how to to recycle anything from cigarette packets to cat litter.

EMMA SIDNAM VUWSA has highlighted a number of problems with the Uni’s recycling processes. These include no compost bins, no recycling bin options in lecture theatres nor in some offices, and inconsistency between front of house and back of house colour sorting for bins.

As a result, we lose recyclable materials to the waste stream.

Victoria University has four campuses, 200m^2 of buildings, and 25,000 people. As a community, Victoria consumes enough resources for a small town each day. In 2016, Victoria reported that 584,663 kgs of waste went to the landfill and 265,075 kgs of waste were diverted to recycling companies.

While Victoria’s website states that 35% of its waste is diverted from landfill to recycling, this percentage doesn’t take missorted and contaminated products into account. The Wellington City Council’s website notes that “any item that is collected and can’t be recycled is separated out and sent to landfill”.

Steph Forrest, Associate Director of Facilities Management of Victoria University, said the University is doing extensive work on its recycling practices, citing the trial of new recycling systems at Rutherford House as an example. “We are constantly 6

NEWS

MONDAY 30 JULY 2018

Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice: Two Protests LAURA SUTHERLAND

Images of Pro-life protestors

Images of Pro-choice protestors

demonstrators in a show of cross-party support for safe and legal abortion. Green MP Jan Logie re-affirmed the Greens’ support for an issue that had been “put in the too-hard basket for too long,” while National MPs Amy Adams and Nikki Kaye expressed their commitment to abortion rights despite mixed levels of support within their caucus.

Voice for Life’s demonstration has been criticised for its similarity to a suicide awareness campaign by the charity YesWeCare, in which 606 pairs of shoes were collected and displayed around the Beehive, to memorialise New Zealanders lost to suicide in 2017. Many ALRANZ supporters were “disgusted” by this parallel, said Bellamak. Lily, a Victoria student who had an abortion earlier this year, described the use of the booties as “manipulative”. “For me those booties symbolise an alternative that would have ruined my life,” they told Salient.

Bellamak remains optimistic about abortion law reform. “The moral high ground has shifted,” she told counter-protesters, and urged them to remain committed to the cause because “there’s probably going to be a next time”.

The Minister of Justice has asked the Law Commission to review New Zealand’s abortion laws, calling for abortion to be treated as a health issue rather than a criminal issue. That report is due to be released in October.

Victoria University Feminist Organisation co-president Tara Ó Súilleabháin said, “unfortunately, regardless of the Law Commission’s report, the decision to decriminalize abortion will come down to a conscience vote in Parliament. This is why attending counter-protests like this one and contacting your local MPs to voice your opinions are really important if we want to see abortion decriminalised in NZ”.

Pro-choice and pro-life demonstrators gathered outside Parliament last Wednesday, giving voice to two sides of an ongoing debate over abortion in New Zealand.

The Booties Project was organised by pro-life organisation Voice for Life, who assembled 13,285 pairs of baby booties on Parliament’s front lawn. Each booty represents an abortion carried out last year in New Zealand. Supporters had been knitting booties over the last nine months, said Voice for Life National President Jacqui de Ruiter. Ruiter hoped the display would prompt New Zealanders to consider “life-affirming options” instead of abortion.

“We got more booties than we required. There were more than 15,000 pairs of booties.” The booties will go to maternity centres around New Zealand.

In response to the project, the Abortion Law Reform Association of New Zealand (ALRANZ) organised a counter-protest, which was attended by members, pro-choice supporters, and MPs. There were around 40 pro-life demonstrators, and more than double the amount of pro-choice demonstrators. Protesters carried signs with pro-choice slogans, wore costumes inspired by the dystopian television series The Handmaid’s Tale, and chanted phrases such as “my body, my choice”.

In response to protestors shouting “my body, my choice,” Ruiter says, “they are forgetting two words at the end ‘my choice to kill’”.

The counter-protesters aimed to “give people an opportunity to demonstrate their support for pregnant people being able to decide for themselves whether they will receive abortion care,” said ALRANZ National President Terry Bellamak. “Like them, we reject the stigma that still causes distress to some people who receive abortion care.”

National, Labour, and Green MPs joined pro-choice

Images by Taylor Galmiche

7

NEWS

MONDAY 30 JULY 2018

Free Counselling for Under 25s JESS POTTER CW: Suicide On Monday 23 July, the government announced that $10.49 million of the 2018 Budget has been secured for an Integrated Therapies Pilot to provide free counselling for 18-25 year olds.

The initiative comes as part of the Green Party’s pledge to fund free counselling for anyone under 25.

Health Minister David Clark says that a procurement process is underway, involving a tender for mental health providers to make a proposal which will help the decisions towards who will receive the services and where this pilot will be run.

Assistant Health Minister Julie Anne Genter stated in May that the pilot will begin in certain areas identified as communities that are “most-at-risk”. The Ministry will not disclose the pilot locations until the tender process is complete, but plan to expand the programme over the next three years.

“There are a lot of young people struggling. This government knows it must improve our mental health system to make people’s lives better…... it would be great to get service providers in Wellington interested in putting in a bid,” said Genter.

The pilot will be run closely with the Ministry for Health in order to combat the increasing issue of mental health in New Zealand, especially among young people. In New Zealand, around 75 percent of all lifelong cases of mental illness start before the age of 25, and in 2017 20-24 year olds had the highest number of suicides in the country, highlighting the severity of the problem.

Currently, people can receive free counselling through District Health Boards and some doctors, however there are often long waitlists for these services. There is a free National Telehealth service (call or text 1737) and schools/universities, including Victoria University Student Health and Counselling (+64 4 463 5310) provide free services also.

Clark says child wellbeing is a priority for the government, and this pilot is proof of this commitment.

Pam Thorburn, director of Student Academic Services at Victoria University, said that it was “too soon to provide comment” on whether this initiative will reduce wait times for counselling at Student Health. She added that the University welcomes any initiative that improves the overall health of students.

Queer Coverage: Local, National, and International LGBTQIA+ News JOHNNY O'HAGAN BREBNER Response to Conversion Therapy Ban Petition Has “Exceeded Expectations”

WHO: Being Trans Not a Mental Health Condition For the first time, the World Health Organisation will remove being trans (“gender incongruity”) from their mental health chapter. Instead, it will be placed in the “conditions related to sexual health” chapter.

The WHO’s International Classification of Diseases (ICD) supports the facilitation of cross-border health research and practice by providing a standardised framework for the identification, description, and discussion of health issues.

A large number of revisions have been made, notably the movement of “gender incongruity” from the mental health component of the document, to the sexual health component.

The WHO hopes that shifting the placement of the health issue will reduce the stigma within medical and wider communities, in hopes of supplying greater access and quality of treatment for trans people in public health systems.

In a video on their official Youtube Channel, the WHO explained that the decision was made on a comprehensive review of available scientific evidence.

In a press release dated 18 June, Transgender Europe (TGEU) welcomed the revision, hoping it would increase access to gender-affirming treatment, “while also ending a long history of so-called ‘conversion therapies’, forced medicalization, forced hospitalization, and forced sterilization”.

ICD-11 has been developed over ten years and based upon around 10,000 proposed revisions. It will be proposed for adoption at the World Health Assembly in 2019, and come into effect in 2022.

A petition calling for the banning of Gay Conversion Therapy in New Zealand has reached roughly 11,500 signatures.

The Young Labour and Young Greens organisations launched the petition on Thursday 19 July, and reached 10,000 signatures just four days after.

The petitioners are hoping to receive 20,000 to 25,000 signatures. Young Greens Co-Convener, Max Tweedie, is confident they will reach that goal.

Tweedie said the response had exceeded expectations.

Following recent media awareness of the issue, the youth wings introduced the petition to pressure Parliament to ban the “incredibly harmful” practice.

“It harms their mental health… it just ends up causing anxiety, depression, and in the worst cases, suicide,” said Tweedie.

“We started this petition to get rid of it, to ban it. And we hope we can achieve that.”

The United Kingdom has also made moves to ban Conversion Therapy, with Prime Minister Theresa May describing the practice as abhorrent. It is illegal in several states and territories of the US and Canada.

The New Zealand Human Rights Commision has supported the call to ban Conversion Therapy.

8

Politics MONDAY 30 JULY 2018

Political Round Up Zero Carbon Bill Comes Closer to Reality Submissions for the Zero Carbon Bill have closed, with over 14,000 public submissions. Consultation on this bill, led by Climate Change Minister James Shaw, closed on 19th of July after six weeks of consultation.

The planned bill would see, at the very least, net carbon levels drop to zero by the year 2050. New Zealand’s gross emissions stood at 78.7 million tonnes in 2016, and statistics on the “Greenhouse Gas Inventory” show that this would have been higher if it wasn’t for the forestry sector absorbing many millions of tonnes more.

The youth climate activist group Generation Zero have pushed the bill to the Parliamentary stages. They have implored MPs to maintain a strong stance on emission goals. Spokesperson Victor Komarovsky said that New Zealand grasps the impacts of climate change. "We have everyone engaging with this discussion — from businesses of all sizes to the primary industries to engaged citizens and the government."

Shaw has received the submissions and stated that he was pleased that the majority of New Zealanders were behind the movement for net zero emissions. “The next step is for us to work through all of the feedback from around the country and draft a bill that will be enduring,” says Mr Shaw.

Ngāpuhi Treaty Settlement in Negotiation Andrew Little, Minister of Treaty of Waitangi negotiations, recently told RNZ’s Morning Report that the hapū of Ngāpuhi have “difficulty functioning” and cannot manage their own treaty settlements.

Moana Tuwhare, a Ngāpuhi lawyer, stated that Mr Little is wrong to think that their hapū cannot handle their own treaty settlements, and that it is out of his ministerial responsibility to comment on how hapū organise themselves.

The hāpu are proposing six settlements, as Tuwhare has stated they believe that a centrally-distributed settlement would not return profits to the people. Meanwhile, Little is pushing for a two-level structure that will “ultimately go down to hapū”.

The chair of Ngāti Hine, said the talks were going nowhere, and that Little’s position of having a single commercial settlement for the entire iwi

was unsuitable.

The Minister reiterated that he was happy to travel to Tai Tokerau if there were further developments within the plans.

Heated Argument Between Winston and a Hollywood Personality Acting Prime Minister Winston Peters has criticised former National government on their sale of the Hunter Valley Station to American millionaire Matt Lauer, without guaranteeing public access for trampers and hunters.

On the 23 July, Peters questioned the National Party on how the sale was conducted through the Overseas Investment Office (OIO). Matt Lauer, formerly a news anchor on NBC’s The Today Show, obtained the lease for the station on Lake Hawea for $13 million in March last year.

In late 2017, NBC terminated Lauer’s contract after sexual misconduct allegations were made against him. A good character test undertaken by the OIO found that he was eligible for the lease.

The Department of Conservation and the Walking Access Commission is asking for an easement, to make a public access road to the land-locked Hawea conservation park. Peters has stated that a deal regarding an easement through to the Hawea Conservation Park would not move forward with this government.

The OIO said there were numerous occasions where access through the station was denied for liability issues, but no formal complaints were lodged.

Mr Lauer and his tenants were opposed to the easement that would allow people to cross their land. The Walking Access Commission is working on an updated proposal for easement.

- Thomas Campbell

9

The Party Line Do you think that the Zero Carbon Bill will be effective in targeting our emission goals?

VICNATS The Young Nats have supported the Zero Carbon Act since 2017. While the Zero Carbon Act will not be the perfect solution to climate change, it makes significant progress that can be built upon by all political parties to meet New Zealand's emission targets.

- Grahame Woods

GREENS ON CAMPUS The Zero Carbon Bill must transcend partisan politics. Our current Parliament and its MPs will not be around in 2050, and political point scoring has no place in the process for this bill. Climate change is a matter of undoing the consequences of overproduction, and therefore we need to move from the mindset of “sustainable growth” to environmental stability. An approach to climate change action that is based around the economy - not vice versa - is a band aid approach we should avoid. We hope that the amount of public support and submissions will have a strong effect on the bill drafting process and will convince Parliament to enact legislation to prevent global warming to 1.5°C, rather than pandering to the interests of businesses and individuals.

VICLABOUR Yes.

- Teri O’Neill

Opinion MONDAY 30 JULY 2018

Israel Evacuate Hundreds of Syrian “White Helmets” from Syria CALUM STEELE

T

he brutal 7-year civil war in Syria is moving into its penultimate act. The Syrian Arab Army [SAB] has begun to liquidate the last remaining areas of resistance in the country. The Israeli defence force [IDF] have evacuated about 100 members of the group to Jordan through the annexed Golan heights at the behest of western governments, namely the US, UK, and France.

The “White Helmets”, officially The Syrian Civil Defence Forces, have proved to be a somewhat divisive group. Syria, Russia, and Iran governments view them as aids abetting Islamic terrorists, yet the West views them as humanitarian heroes slaving away to help civilians amid the carnage of the war.

The group staunchly maintains that they are non-partisan. In my view, both sides of the story are true. While it is an undeniable fact that the White Helmets have been doing exemplary work to help civilians in areas being attacked, there have been certain troubling reports of their helping terrorist elements of the rebels. Indeed, as the rebel movement is more or less exclusively dominated by various Salafi groups such as Al-Nusra and Daesh, this theory would seem to hold some merit.

escape routes blocked by the constantly fluctuating battle lines, in particular the expansion of the ISIS front in the south west of the country. As Mark Dugan further elaborates, this operation is believed to have been a one-off. The fate of the remaining members of the group seems rather grim.

On a more cynical note, one ponders Israel’s motive. To quote the IDF Twitter account, it was an “exceptional humanitarian gesture” on the Israelis’ part. Up to this point Israel has been loath to get involved in any meaningful way in the conflict.

With the border to Syria sealed, refugees have flooded countries such as Lebanon, Turkey, and Jordan. The fact this operation was done at the request of (or strong arming from) western powers implies a less altruistic nature to the operation, especially as they were immediately transferred to Jordan pending resettlement in Germany, Britain, and Canada.

Possibly the most questionable aspect of this operation was Benjamin Netanyahu, the Israeli Prime Minister, justifying letting the White Helmets through. He has made a statement saying, “several days ago President Trump contacted me, as did Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau and others, and requested that we assist in evacuating hundreds of ‘White Helmets’ from Syria.

These are people who have saved lives and whose lives were in danger. Therefore, I approve their passage through Israel to additional countries, as an important humanitarian gesture”.

[T]here are few-to-no western journalists based in the areas that the group operates, thus it is hard to verify whether such claims are true or false… something to get your inner conspiracy theorist going.

A somewhat more questionable claim, and one that has a whiff of conspiracy theory, is that the White Helmets have been involved in certain covert actions such as forging video and photographic evidence illustrating the effects of government bombardments.

The videos show what the Syrian government calls “crisis actors” — people paid to come and fake some sort of tragedy, and “stolen bodies” — bodies from morgues placed to fake attacks. These claims were further peddled by former Pink Floyd frontman, Roger Waters, who called the White Helmets a “fake organisation who provide cover for terrorists and jihadists” — a claim you would expect from far-right provocateurs and proAssad media outlets. An interesting point to bear in mind: there are few-to-no western journalists based in the areas that the group operates, thus it is hard to verify whether such claims are true or false… a thought to get your inner conspiracy theorist going.

According to BBC, an operation to evacuate hundreds of White Helmets from Syria appears to have been carried out during June. They state the original plan was to evacuate around 800 members of the group. However, only 100 have appeared to make it, with 342 family members in tow. The rest had their

While the virtue of the operation isn’t under question, the statement issued by this tyrant, while appearing magnanimous, reeks of nothing more than a vainglorious and self-serving public relations exercise. This is the man who has sat and watched the country be engulfed in flames for several years, and has been launching repeated military incursions into Syria (so much for non-interference), not to mention the plight of the Palestinians under his rule, with hundreds being killed and wounded this year alone.

As an interesting side note: perhaps one of the most galling things about this for Mr Assad is, not so much the evacuation of people he deems to have been aiding terrorists, but also the fact they were taken through the Israel-occupied Golan heights, a region Syria and the international community consider to be illegally occupied.

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Opinion MONDAY 30 JULY 2018

The Gay Young Nat GRAHAME WOODS

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nyone who has met me or has the misfortune of being my friend on Facebook, knows how much I love politics. However, what less people may know is that I am gay. When I first came out I had been an active Young Nat for over two years. I knew everyone I needed to know, and was friends with most of them. Despite this I was painfully aware of the stereotypes, things like "the Young Nats are all white homophobes" and "you can’t be queer and like the National Party they all think that you’re sick". So, to say I was nervous would be an understatement. Nevertheless, I was in Napier campaigning in the middle of a cyclone last year when I came out to the Chair of the Lower North Island Region of the Young Nats (Sam). To my amazement Sam said, “stoked mate” and gave me one of his beers as a well done (for reference Sam is now my flatmate and thinks Eureka should have won RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 10, scandalising really).

From the night of the cyclone I began my real education in what it means to be a queer Young Nat. The Young Nats have been at the forefront of queer politics since the organisation existed. We fought for marriage equality in 2013, marched for adoption law reform to allow same sex partners to adopt children, worked with National MP Nikki Kaye to march in the Auckland Pride Parade, and walked with Prime Minister Jenny Shipley in the Hero Parade in 2001, becoming the first New Zealand Prime Minister to attend any Pride event. We lobbied within the Party for the wiping of historical homosexual convictions, we pushed the Bolger National Government in 1993 to allow gays, lesbians, and bisexuals to openly serve in

the military, we supported Chris Finlayson and Paul Foster-Bell so they could serve as openly gay National MPs. The Young Nats have had a proud tradition of being led by amazing queer Presidents and Executive members since the 1980s.

The Young Nats is one of the most inclusive LGBTQIA+ organisations in New Zealand today, to the point where telling the difference between a night in Ivy and a Young Nats event can sometimes be challenging. This has led to the Young Nats becoming one of the more active, and powerful, LGBTQIA+ rights groups within New Zealand politics. We have pushed the LGBTQIA+ message since 1969, and as a result National MPs always want to hear from queer people.

The issue for me is that some queer people writing off National and its MPs due to the stereotypes or their own not-so-hidden prejudices. This became clear to me at last Clubs Week when Nicola Willis (who works tirelessly for the LGBTQIA+ community) went to talk to UniQ to offer her support. They refused to speak to her (or even shake her hand) because of her stance on prisoners’ voting rights. An important issue, but unrelated to UniQ’s purpose. In last week’s issue of Salient, "The Dude Sitting on the Couch" was accused by Kate Aschoff of being a queer-foe and not putting thought into his own political processes, because he voted for National. Something that is overwhelmingly different from reality.

The National Party wants to hear from all people, queer or not.

If you have something that’s affecting you, send us an email or a message over Facebook.

NEWS WRITER WANTED Salient is looking for a News Writer!

5 hours per week $21.22 per hour The position is fixed-term and runs from now until October.

The successful candidate will have experience writing news and gathering a variety of sources, and is involved in the Vic community.

Applicants must also be good at working to deadlines and working in a team.

If you're a keen writer that isn't afraid to get stuck in, then send in your cover letter, CV, and writing samples (preferably news writing samples) to editor@salient.org.nz

News

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NEWS YOU CAN USE

Vic Books Discount

much money I’ve spent on textbooks that I read four pages of?

Do you know how many monthly alumni e-newsletters I’ve put in the junk folder?”

Views and subscriptions to this sacred e-newsletter have increased steadily, causing their printouts to be seen as a secondary form of currency around Kelburn and Pipitea campus for students. 10% off a $130 textbook is a Domino’s pizza and a slab of VBs; a well-balanced diet for any first-year accounting student.

Many printers on campus have jammed and “given up” following many attempts to print off the newsletters. Campus Care have fixed a record number of printers this week and were reportedly proud that students were finally buying books for the first time in three years. ***disclaimer*** this shit is real. Hit up Vic Books and get what you’re owed.

KII SMALL Local students and semi-educated adults were shocked to learn that Victoria University offers alumni a 10% discount on all books in the VicBooks catalogue if they show a “recent monthly alumni e-newsletter” before purchasing at the counter. Some students were even more surprised to know VicBooks cared about their horrid financial situation. “Ain't that the same coffee place that charge me fifty cents for a cup? That’s wild,” said Callum Turnbull. VicBooks have been offering this discount for a long time, but apparently not long enough for 46-year old PhD student who was enjoying his eighth straight year on campus until the news was broken to him. “Do you know how

Tanning Salons Sponsor Exchange Students

Wellington "Deep State" Suppressing Knowledge of the Number 18 Bus.

SHANTI MATHIAS A group of tanning salons in Wellington have sponsored two scholarships for exchange students from Valletta, Malta and Yuma, Arizona.

The goal of the scholarship is “to raise awareness of the health and happiness benefits of being tanned,” said a spokesperson for the group.

An ad from the salons stated the following: “We know that winter in Wellington is tough. Pale skin becomes sallow and pasty. But there’s an easy solution to this! Our beds offer 5 sensuous settings.” Salient asked the spokesperson how the exchange students were to allude to the salons. “We’ve got them to memorize the ad. They just need to make it sound casual.”

“It’s a good deal,” said Abele Bacho, an exchange student from the University of Malta. “Flights and accommodation were paid, plus we get a stipend.”

Notably, the sponsored students were asked to display as much tanned skin as possible. As Bacho spoke, goosebumps rippled across his arms, clad only in a thin singlet.

It is expected that a similar scholarship will be offered for Trimester 1, so that bronzed Southern Hemisphere students can incite jealousy in high northern latitudes.

“It’s genius marketing,” said Elaine Makmur, a commerce student with only her hands and face exposed to the elements.

“Seeing these [students] makes me dream of melanin.”

ANGUS SHAW Hidden globalist influence on University campuses (specifically Kelburn campus) doesn’t want you to know there is still a number 18 Campus Connection bus. Yet from information obtained via a deep cover source within Wellington City Council, Salient can confirm that the 18e Campus Connection bus does exist and runs five times from Kelburn campus to Miramar. We have the documents folks.

Many students might suggest that is this a “conspiracy”.

Some are saying that the number 18 doesn’t exist anymore, not in this modern PC world. Our source revealed that it is in fact still possible to get from Kelburn to Newtown without having to change buses. Globalists would prefer you not know this information.

While the number of convenient buses between Victoria and Massey has certainly been reduced, true seekers of the truth have reported seeing the 18e stopping outside Massey’s Mt Cook campus at 8:28am on its way to Victoria’s Kelburn campus.

If you’ve seen or heard anything about the number 18 bus or even possibly have ridden it recently please send any info you have to Salient, through an encrypted Tor browser if you need to remain anonymous.

Updates on Kylie Jenner's Baby The newest revelation about Kylie Jenner’s baby is that it now sports a topknot. Such a profound declaration has us nearly catatonic with wonder. Salient still gives no shits about Kylie Jenner’s baby.

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Week in Tweets CAT(S) CULTURE On the announcement that Cats the Musical is being remade with modern pop stars — “Forgotten cats from the musical Cats: Frizzlemaine The Incel Cat, Spadinkley Jones The Cat With Depression, Gorsch The Cat Who’s Like Whole Personality Is That He’s Got A Waistcoat and The Marvellous Mr Gorsch, The Famous Juggling Cat (Recently Me Too’d)” — @NicSampson On the opening of the mysterious black sarcophagus in Egypt — “Roses are red, New York is a metropolis, let people drink the red liquid from the dark sarcophagus.” — @ditzkoff On the announcement of a Buffy reboot, helmed by Joss Whedon — “Joss Whedon says Buffy reboot will feature “a whole new kind of vampire” that can only be defeated “by DMing them feet pics”” — @pixelatedboat On the Teen Titans trailer released at Comic Con over the weekend — “gotta come back to say that the Teen Titans trailer is the worst thing I've ever seen ever in my life and I once watched a frog jump into a boat propeller” — @fivefifths

HERE WE GO AGAIN… “it’s imperative we treat mamma mia season like we treat the holidays. when you see a friendly stranger, tip your hat as if to say “happy holidays,” but instead say “mamma mia!” “mamma mia to all and to all a mamma mia!”” — @jillboard “mamma mia got me wanting to fuck 3 random men move to a remote island and wear overalls for the rest of my life” — @ katie_enns “if we all pray hard enough we can make mamma mia the fast and furious franchise of musicals” — @miel “I love the MMCU (Mamma Mia Cinematic Universe)” — @ Squid7000 “"I have some nits to pick with the MAMMA MIA mythology," me, a fun person, just as the lights came up.” — @jowrotethis

On the (continued) bus issues — “i've figured out how to catch the bus you want in wellington - you just need to pretend you don't want to catch one and the right one will turn up. It's the cat ownership version of public transport.” — @em_ma_ maguire

Quiz

World Facts

1. A new official picture of Prince George was released after he recently celebrated which birthday?

1. Vera Lynn, upon releasing an album to celebrate her 100th birthday, became the oldest recording artist in the world.

3. At least 74 people were killed when wildfires swept through a resort in which European country?

4. Police are focussing on recovering the body of a well-known pilot, after his helicopter crashed in which lake? a) Lake Wanaka b) Lake Taupo

c) Lake Rotoiti d) Lake Wakatipu 5. Far-right activists from what country have been banned from having a talk in an Auckland Council owned venue?

World Facts by Courtney Powell, Week in Tweets by Emma Maguire & Quiz by Alister Hughes

2. A farmer found that his goats produced more milk when listening to “All I Want for Christmas Is You” on repeat.

3. Japan has a museum that only displays rocks that look like faces.

4. In 2015 police busted an international criminal cheese ring, finding $30 million in cheddar.

5. The Bajau people are genetically adapted to diving and can dive 60 meters deep at lengths of 13 minutes at a time.

6. An albatross named Wisdom is the world’s oldest living bird in the wild at 67 years old and is still laying eggs.

8. Pakistan has more native English speakers than New Zealand and Ireland combined.

9. 40 US cold cases have been sold by putting victim’s faces on prison playing cards.

10. It was agreed that the Cold War would be put on hold in the case of an alien invasion.

Quiz Answers 1. 5th 2. Banning Conversion Therapy in NZ 3. Greece 4. a) Lake Wanaka 5. Canada

2. Young Labour and Young Greens have recently thrown their support behind a petition proposing what?

7. In 2013 it was found wealthy Russians were hiring fake ambulances to get them through traffic faster.

Letters Send your letters to editor@salient.org.nz Dear Salient, This morning I was in a rush, my cat ran in front of me and I was moving too fast to stop I accidentally kicked him. At uni I picked up a copy of this week’s issue #13. I read through all my favourite sections, skipped politics and found myself at horoscopes. Mine read: Sagittarius. The moon is in the seventh house [blahblahblah…] a cat will cross your path, you should give it a sardine”. My cat crossed my path and instead of a sardine I accidentally kicked him. I’ve just got home and he won’t let me touch him. Doesn’t even want to look at me. Is it too late to give him a sardine?

Salient's Response: Yes

Dear Salient, I have the deep misfortune to be a (mostly) heterosexual white cis-gendered male. I know even as I write this that it sounds like I must piss privilege and my continued existence in this planet is an insult to the almighty feminist queens.

And so in an attempt to reduce my horrific levels of privilege to more acceptable level I have pierced ears. Both sides obviously. But there is an issue, my piercings are the only thing that keeps my ungodly levels of patriarchal privilege in check.

Without them what am I but just another privileged white man doomed to never understand the complexities of the female mind. (See this is my problem.)

So my situation is simple, as long as I wear my piercings the world remains safe. Except… work doesn't let me wear m piercings cause I’m a dude, while my female cisgendered coworkers are allowed to wear any ear piercings they want. (I’m not sure how they treat transgender employees but I doubt it is well.) So here’s my true issue, does myself feeling oppressed/ offended that I cannot wear my piercings represent an actual social issue or is it just the insanity of a privileged white-dude getting pissy because I’m not getting everything that I want for once. Your thoughts?

Signed, a white, cisgendered (mostly) heterosexual male who pisses privilege.

Salient's Response: Just to let you know, you used "privilege/ privileged" 7 times

Notices

Send your notices to editor@salient.org.nz Refugees Welcome: Amnesty at Vic 5.30pm, Weds 8th Aug, GBLT1, Pip Campus Come along to our FREE VILP event exploring the exciting opportunities for communities and individuals in New Zealand to do more to support refugees - we'll be hearing from former refugees themselves as well as the Red Cross, Empower, Nisa, Changemakers and Amnesty in this discussion of communityled solutions for refugee resettlement. Plus catering from Pomegranate Kitchen!

Visit iwelcome.org.nz for more info our own campaign

Karma Cola Can Swap!

Celebrate Fair Trade Fortnight with a bottle of delicious fairtrade cola!

The Victoria Development Society will be in the Hub between 10am-2pm on Thurs 9th August offering free Karma Cola when you bring a can or non-perishable item to be donated to the foodbank. If you don't have a can, bring $2 for a bottle!

Come along and ask us about our campaign to get VUW Fair Trade Accredited!

Vic Uni Cheer Vic Uni Cheer is hoping to continue our winning streak this year at comps, but we need you! Stop by The Hub on Tuesday the 7th of August for some sweet treats and the chance to support your team. We’ll be there in our uniforms from 11 to 2 selling all sorts of baked goodness. And stay tuned for more opportunities to come hang out with us and support the team!

Careers events coming up Science Careers Expo – Science students of all levels!

1st August, 12 – 2pm, Te Toki a Rata Foyer Infosys – ‘Instep’ International Internship for IT students 2nd August, 5-6pm, AM101 DXC Technology – IT Graduate Programme 7th August, 5-7pm, AM102 BA Careers in Focus – Putting your Humanities and Social Sciences degree to work 9th August, 5.30-7.30pm, MCLT103

UN Association Seeks a Communications Officer The UN Association of NZ is seeking a motivated person to promote the organisation through periodic press releases and to provide advice on its communications strategy. This is a voluntary position, but experience gained will assist in career development and look great on your curriculum vitae. It will give an insight into high level management, strategic thinking and implementing operational plans.

Working with a talented and motivated group of volunteers to engage with the public will be rewarding and satisfying.

Are you up for it? Call UNA NZ Officeoffice@unanz.org.nz (04) 496 9638.

VicFolk Ceilidh Saturday 4 August, 7pm A guaranteed good night out with high energy live music and the easiest dancing you'll ever do.

Thistle Hall, corner of Cuba St and Arthur St, upstairs Student discounts available. www.vicfolkmusic.wordpress.com

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Dishie I work past midnight And in hindsight I don’t think this choice was right Dish in hand Rag and soap I’m unsure if I can cope Insignificant And mundane Everyday is just the same Push and pull Break at ten In the morning start again I hate this It’s a bore My feet My back My hands are sore Sit me down With a drink And maybe then I can rethink Let me breathe I’m on the brink I’m sick of living in a sink - Alice Wheeler

submit poems to poetry@salient.org.nz

Fever Hospital A NIGHT SPENT WITH SPOOKS, KOOKS, AND POSSIBLY GHOSTS DANIEL SMITH

We drive up a dark road. It is flanked by trees that whip back and forth as if possessed by some evil force. The rain belts on the windshield, but through it, we can make out the grim shape of the Fever Hospital. It hunkers down on the side of Mt. Victoria like a beast lying in wait — hungry, patient, and merciless. My friend Cam and I had arrived at the site of the Wellington SPCA, A.K.A. Fever Hospital, to participate in what the Facebook event described as a “Psychic Ghost Investigation”, hosted by Kathy McBride, psychic medium.

on the cusp of middle age, with the notable exception of a man who is eating from a bag of McDonalds.

It turned out most of the people there are regulars to Kathy’s Psychic Investigations. They report to have made many sightings of ghosts during her excursions.

Hearing this, a first-timer cracks open a can of Smirnoff, to calm nerves that all the ghost-talk had brought about.

Suddenly Kathy McBride, Psychic Medium, walks into the room with her husband Kevin in tow. Kathy starts out by apologising for a cold she is currently dealing with, showing the room a health drink she has concocted out of ginger, lemon, garlic, honey, orange, and cayenne pepper. While she tells the room about her health drink, her husband Kevin potters around behind her, unpacking a huge amount of ghost hunting technology. The first sign of how technology driven tonight’s investigation will be is seen when Kevin sets up a light display, projecting a myriad of green dots over the room. These dots apparently reveal ghosts that move through the path of the lights. It looks a lot like a low-rent lighting I saw at my primary school disco. I had no idea that as an eight-year-old I had been dancing under a key piece of ghost hunting apparatus.

The Fever Hospital was built in 1918-20 as the Wellington Hospital for Infectious Disease. It was used to isolate patients suffering from scarlet fever, measles, influenza, chicken pox, and polio. Because of this, it has a long history of death and suffering attached to it. After an extended period of disuse, it was leased to the SPCA in 2012, who use the space as offices and a hospital today. Despite being occupied by the very unspooky SPCA, the building has a history of hauntings and ghosts — of which you will hear more about, if you are brave enough to continue reading.

I enter the hospital while Cam stays in the car trying to figure out how to work the Salient camera. I am directed to a waiting area while Kathy McBride, psychic medium, irons out the details with the hospital staff.

After a roll call that took upwards of 15 minutes longer than necessary due to Kathy making a humorous comment before and after everybody’s name, we get onto the house rules.

Walking into the room, I introduce myself to my fellow investigators. There are about 12 others, mostly women 16

News

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Fever Hospital

Kathy McBride, Psychic Medium, Paranormal Investigation Rules: 1. You MUST protect yourself with psychic energy before you begin

5. If you are psychotic, please advise Kathy 6. If you feel unwell/threatened, leave the area ASAP and find Kathy who will fix it

2. You can leave at any time but you MUST wash your hands in cold water to de-ghost yourself before you exit the building

7. Do NOT go wandering off by yourself

3. If there is a fire, meet in the carpark

8. Beware of Kevin, who is known to be extremely sneaky

4. If you get hurt by a ghost, scream as loud as you can

After we hear the rules, Kevin sneaks off to cut the lights and lock the front doors, so that no unwanted souls can get in (or out). Kathy then runs the group through all the ways that ghosts can make contact: noise, smell, touch, or sight.

photos. Some guy in the back wants to know what ghosts like to talk about, but this is shrugged off as too obvious to warrant explanation.

Kathy ends her advice on the tip to be as specific as possible, citing a moment when she was cruelly pranked by a ghost she asked to touch her, who then gave her a hard whack on the back of the head.

She says it is of the utmost importance to ask the ghosts to be “touched appropriately”.

As Kathy is speaking a lady in the group shouts out, “ORBS!” Kathy says that orbs are not usually related to paranormal activity. The woman is unrelenting in her belief in floating orbs and this leads to a long argument between her and Kathy as to what classifies as a “proper investigation”. The argument ends on an awkward note, with neither side relenting their position on orbs.

Kevin gets back from darkening the halls and sealing the exits, and helps Kathy to run through the technological equipment we will be utilising on the investigation. The equipment is spread out on a table, and consists of a vast array of gadgets in varying colours and sizes. As Kathy runs through the function of each piece, Kevin picks it up to give us a demonstration.

Kathy moves on with her advice on how to interview ghosts; pause between questions, let your energy go out of your body to meet them, and ask the ghosts if they want to be photographed before you take any

The Equipment: • EMF (electromagnetic field) Detector – This is a small black box that beeps spookily when it senses either a ghost, or a lightswitch • Electronic Thermometer – This is a small laser light thermometer which should be used to detect sudden drops in temperature, which is what happens

when a ghost walks into a room • EVP (electronic voice phenomena) Reader – This is a small white transistor radio which is attached to a microphone that only picks up frequencies that humans can’t usually hear, it then converts the sounds and plays them through the radio. It is the primary

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Fever Hospital In addition to these electronic gadgets, Kevin has set up, at varying points around the hospital, a number of hanging bells and tennis balls to detect ghosts in the old-fashioned way. Some people have come prepared with a phone app called Ghost Radar, which can apparently translate ghost-speak (read: silence) into English. I curse my ineptitude for not having the app, but resolve to make up for it with a combination of the three other devices and plain old human vigilance.

us at one point in the night to walk down the corridor alone, but she warns us that if she says run, “it means RUN!” The last stop is the Sun Room, a little conservatory that is apparently very active and offers a vantage point through which several sightings of Sister Slippers have been made.

I ask Kathy if we would be going into the cordoned off Nurses Quarters, a spot that had come up many times in my research as being a very haunted location.

Kathy was very unchill when I brought this up and cited that the previous occupants of the building were satanic devil worshippers who had performed various demonic rituals as the reason why we would not be going into that building. This sounds like a much better location to look for ghosts than the offices of the SPCA at night, but I keep this to myself.

We call on God/Allah/Yahweh/Jehovah/Krishna to grant us a bubble of white light as protection from evil beings, and are finally off. The tour begins with Kathy showing us around the hospital as a group.

Seconds into it and a ghost is already touching the back of Kathy’s neck. Whether this touching was appropriate or inappropriate is unknown to your humble correspondent.

Our first stop is the corridor, a creepy old thing lined with windows looking out onto the storm-shaken trees.

Kathy says to keep an eye out in this area for such paranormal attractions as children screaming, nurses shuffling, the ghost of the creepy old caretaker who growls in your ear, and the infamous Sister Slippers (an aggressive night matron who apparently wanders the halls at night with hot water bottles attached to her feet. The people who named the ghost really missed a trick when they didn’t call her Sister Squelcher).

Before everyone goes their separate ways, there is a scramble at the equipment table. I had picked up an EMF reader and was about to put it in my pocket, when a lady with the facial expression of a pouty child suddenly snatches it straight from my hands and storms off. I shrug my shoulders and pick up another one, which was readily available on the table.

Cam and I move off to the break room, pool our coinage to get some snacks from the vending machine, and make use of the SPCA’s huge tin of instant coffee. While we tank up on junk food and caffeine, Kevin hangs about nearby watching us eagle-eyed, either suspicious or hungry. After a minute or so of eyeballing, Kevin explains that he is on security detail tonight, and vehemently insists that he is not scared of ghosts.

The next stop is the caretaker’s quarters. The story is that the caretaker was constantly tormented by the ghosts, who made him feel that the floor was rolling like the sea until he eventually hung himself.

Kathy warns that this area has been known to make people feel dizzy or unsettled. As soon as she says this, several of the investigators immediately react, swaying and stumbling, holding onto the walls for balance, groaning in discomfort. Their reaction makes me check in with a strange feeling I have in my gut, but after a while I put it down to the fact that I haven’t had dinner yet.

We finish our snacks and move to the Sun Room, which was completely empty due to every other amateur paranormal investigator heading straight for the Isolation Corridor. We set up the EVP, EMP, and temperature readers and begin trying to attract a ghost with our interviewing skills.

The next stop is The Ward, a huge room where next to nothing can be seen in the pervading darkness.

We stand in the centre of the black abyss while Kathy spooks us with stories of children singing, and angry ghosts throwing towels about the room. Suddenly, the lights come on and everyone looks around at the large well painted, well-lit, and very unscary room around them. The culprit was Kevin, who gets growled at by Kathy as he hurriedly tries to turn the lights off again.

Cam speaks in a low voice, “If there is a presence here please make yourself known.”

We wait. Nothing.

I give it a try, “If there is a... uhh… like a ghost or… like a- an- anybody here- like to speak to us orsomething, fuck I don’t know.” Cam shakes his head at me. My skills in interviewing living human beings are of no use here. I decide to leave all future ghostly communications to my acquaintance.

Next is what Kathy calls The Isolation Corridor. This is apparently the most haunted area of the entire building, with upwards of three ghosts at once having been sighted there at once. Kathy’s plan is for each of 19

Fever Hospital After about ten minutes we get a spook. Unfortunately the paranormal had nothing to do with it. Another pair of paranormal investigators have bumbled in and started flashing their lights in our eyes.

I tell Kathy what I had seen. She looks thoughtful, “That would make sense, because the spot you saw the shadows move was where they took the bodies to be cremated.”

We decide to try another area. We go into the bathroom, which at the outset is a lot spookier because it has the original hospital tiling and grout work. This is the place that the caretaker is meant to follow you into, growling in your ear, tickling and slapping you. I walk slowly to the outer wall holding my EMF reader, while Cam holds the EVP kit. Suddenly, near the mirrors and the wash basin, both devices go off at the same time. I start to freak out, as this could be the caretaker washing his hands after taking a ghost dump. Remembering that Kathy had said that ghosts could communicate through smells I sniff all the stalls, but find that the toilet smells are unfortunately all too human. The gadgets are still beeping, and I am still freaking out. Cam, the voice of reason, figures out that there is a fuse box in the wall that could explain setting off both machines. This quells my fear and allows me to leave the bathroom at a calm pace that is definitely not a run.

Hmm. After several other people yielded rather questionable experiences in the Isolation Corridor, Kathy brings us back to the Sun Room to show us another way to contact the spirit world: Table Tipping. She moves a table to the centre of the room and along with three other women. They sit down séance style with her eyes closed and palms flat on the tabletop.

Kathy speaks. “I call on any spirit in this room. If you are there, show us your presence by moving this table.” There is a brief moment of silence before one of the other ladies decides that this is a good photo opportunity, her camera flash goes off right in Kathy’s face.

Kathy opens her eyes. “Could you please not shine those lights in my eyes!”

“Oops sorry,” replies the guilty woman.Kathy tries again to contact a spirit. “Please anybody, could you please help us move this table.”

Silence.

“We are only a bunch of weak old women and we can’t move this table by ourselves, could you please help us?”

The silence in the room is again disrupted by the same woman, who has stomped across creaking floorboards to try and get a better angle for her now flashless camera.

Kathy opens her eyes. “Could you please keep quiet!” “…sorry.”

A woman at the table puts on an affected damsel in distress voice, trying to use her womanly wiles to bait a ghost into moving the table. “Oooooh spirits, it is so so hard for us poor poor ladies to move this table by ourselves. We would be ever so grateful if you helped us to move it.”

There is a longer silence before the camera lady, who has given up on getting a picture, leans against the wall, inadvertently causing a loud creak.

Kathy, who has been made sensitive by the previous two interruptions, opens her eyes and emits a loud, “SHHHH!”

Kathy brings the group back together for a meeting about what everyone has seen so far. Reading the room, the spook levels seems pretty low. A few people claim to have heard screams or seen shadows, but the only guy truly convinced he saw something is the dude who was eating from the bag of McDonalds. He finishes his claim by saying he has been seeing crazy shit since he was a kid, so who knows who to trust.

The pouty faced lady who snatched my EMF reader is even more pouty than before, because the gadget she snatched from me turned out to have dead batteries.

As soon as I notice this, I make a big thing of walking around the room clicking the button on the side of the EMF reader that produced a loud beep and nodding to myself, showing everyone that my device is in perfect working order.

As the second meeting adjourns, Kathy tells me that it is my turn to walk down the Isolation Corridor.

Although it has an impressive name, the Isolation Corridor is just a long dark corridor. It isn’t even that dark; there’s a glow from the snoozing computers in the offices on the left of the hall, as well as light from the streetlamps at the other side.

I would be lying if I said that when I walked down it alone, I didn’t see a dark shape move out the window out of the corner of my eye. I would also be lying if I didn’t mention that it was now 1 am, I hadn’t eaten since 11am, and I was bored to a point where I wouldn’t put it past my brain to make something up for a brief moment of entertainment.

It is at this point that fatigue and hunger tell me that this is a good cue to leave. I say a final goodbye and thank you to Kathy, and leave the rest of the group to their attempts of convincing a ghost to aid them in bettering the feng shui of the Fever Hospital.

20

Epilogue As I am about to jump in the car I realise that I have accidentally pocketed the EMF reader. As much as I want a device whose only purpose is to beep abrasively, I thought I better return it. I go around to the front door and realise that Kevin had locked it earlier in the night. Not about to give up so easily, I start pounding on the door as loud as I can, trying to get the attention of people on the other side of the hospital. I get no response, so I bang louder and louder, shaking the heavy wooden door in its frame.

After five or so minutes of banging I hear muttering on the other side of the door. To show them that there is someone outside I flash my light through the small window at the side of the door. Someone on inside shouts, “ORBS!” “Nope it’s just me, can you open the door I’m getting wet out here.” The door swings open to reveal a crowd of paranormal investigators frozen stiff with fear.

Their eyes are wide, and their faces drained of all colour. Some have broken out in a sweat, and others are shivering. My knocking on the door had brought the possibility of a real haunting to these guys, and it scared the shit out of them.

The biggest spook of the night turned out to be me.

A Facebook message from a stranger asking you for something at 1:42 am is never worth replying to.

I should have known this at the time, but thanks to a less-than-a-week-before-my-contract-exam mix of insomnia, apathy, and cheerful nihilism, I happily agreed to help build what could have been the largest temporary hockey rink in the Southern Hemisphere.

Some context: for the last year and a bit, I’ve been a somewhat enthusiastic ice hockey fan. Maybe more than that, judging by the faraway looks I get from anyone I try to convert to the sport, but I digress. The sport’s obscure status in New Zealand means that if anything vaguely hockey-related appears here, I’m interested.

It was with people like me in mind that somebody had announced a series of hockey games to be played in Auckland, Wellington, and Queenstown. The USA was to play Canada: “THE GREATEST RIVALRY IN SPORTS HISTORY,” according to the advertising.

Despite the fact that the players were mostly minor league or ex-minor league professionals playing for

teams that were unaffiliated with the actual American and Canadian hockey teams, it was still exciting. My Mum (bless her) got the family tickets to the game in Auckland.

I had heard through various channels that the organisers were looking for volunteers to help them build the rink in Wellington, which was to be on the field in Westpac Stadium. The work was unpaid, but volunteers were to be bribed with tickets or a game jersey.

Being a hockey jersey fiend and seeking escape from the horrors of contract law, I put down my interest on a Facebook post , and a few days later, there I was. I arrived at the stadium at about half past eight. When I got there the some 50 people were milling around. I found someone in a fluro jacket who seemed to be in charge. After introducing myself and signing some papers, I was given the most memorable safety briefing of my life.

“Are you a retard? Just don’t be a retard.”

To my privileged soul, the absolute lack of any 22

attempt at political correctness was either alarming in a refreshing way or refreshing in an alarming way; I couldn’t decide. I was so stunned I almost forgot to answer. Suddenly conscious that I wasn’t coming off particularly bright with my jaw on the floor, I collected myself enough to meekly reply in the negative.

Fluro jacket seemed satisfied, and I went off to build an ice rink.

The workforce at the stadium was split into two rough groups. The first were volunteer hockey fans like me. We were unpaid and generally knew very little about the process of building an outdoor ice rink.

Many were Canadian expats. The second group was made up of stadium security. They were paid by the hour and also knew very little about the process.

Tensions lingered between the two groups all day – the volunteers thought the security staff were apathetic and lazy, and the security staff thought the volunteers were pushy and impatient. As with most disputes in human history, it mostly came down to the catering. The security staff had allegedly made off with several crates of Canadian confectionery meant for the volunteers the night before. Our lunch was thus jealously guarded from them, which rightly or wrongly caused several of them to scarper for lunch at crucial parts of the day.

The ground on which the rink was to be built was levelled, and our job was to make a shallow pool for the ice to freeze in. The entire bottom of the rink was covered in runs of plastic sheeting, and then it was our task to keep the whole thing watertight with gaffer tape. Someone made murmurings that the tape was the wrong brand, oblivious of the absurdity of the thing. The bottom was so fragile that those walking on it could only be in socks.

That took several hours. Once it was done, we began to roll out six-foot wide, white coils on the plastic that would be flooded with coolant then covered in water. Unrolling the coils often tore the plastic sheeting. The coils were attached to a section of thick piping; every time another coil was laid down the pipes had to be sealed together. It was a slow process – it took hours before the rink was covered.

The next task was putting up “the boards” – the barrier that surrounds a hockey rink. This was made up of hundreds of heavy barriers which had to be aligned in the correct order and bolted together. From the advertisements for 50c wings and Tallahassee Community Hospital stickered onto them, the boards originally came from Florida, but had apparently been held in shipping containers in Adelaide for the last decade. This meant that some of them were warped, and it was evening by the time they were put together.

From there we were promised that the rink would be flooded and freezing would begin at 6pm, but nothing happened. The security staff went home.

The volunteers stayed, as we were waiting for any

information about our compensation for the day, and so we loitered idly for about an hour. Eventually a stroppy Australian directed us to start peeling the advertising decals off the boards.

Thus began one of the dullest tasks of my short life. The decals were old and brittle, and a particular sign for Bud Light was exceptionally so. It took a full hour to peel off the sign, centimetre by centimetre.

While we busied ourselves with this task, I talked with a senior volunteer about compensation and the slow progress of the work – it was pushing 8 o’clock, and while the coils were being filled with coolant, flooding seemed a long way off. He confided in us that the whole operation seemed badly organised and poorly executed, with the organisers apparently repeatedly promising what they couldn’t deliver. The prospect of a free hockey jersey seemed very far away, but I felt committed to the cause, out of a mix of misguided loyalty and schadenfreude.

As if to illustrate the man’s point about poor execution, a pipe burst, spraying bright pink coolant everywhere. This was bad. The coolant was also an anti-freezing agent, and it had to be removed or the water would not freeze. If the water didn’t begin to freeze in the next few hours, the chances of a hockey game became very slim. To further add to troubles, it also leaked onto the pristine (and expensive) turf of the stadium.

The organiser’s stopgap solution to this very serious problem was office vacuum cleaners, of all things. The machines would feebly suck up a few litres of fluid at a time before having their contents tipped into a rubbish bin. The cycle repeated over and over, to no visible effect. The last two volunteers and I felt increasingly weary as the organisers bickered amongst themselves. The final straw was when another pipe burst. It was time to go home.

As we got ready to leave we overheard someone say that it was all over. As we walked out of the stadium we saw another organiser hunched over, head in his hands. Things did not bode well for the Ice Hockey Classic in Wellington.

I flew up to Auckland the next morning and watched the game there that night. It was excellent, and the troubles that afflicted Wellington’s event showed no signs there. However, the Facebook event page for the game in Wellington, scheduled to happen the next day posted that the game was to be delayed to later on Saturday evening. The next day, it was delayed by 24 hours. Finally, the event was cancelled as fans were entering the stadium, leaving a wake of angry Facebook posts in its wake.

The failures that led to this outcome were varied and complex, but crucially they all added up to provide what in military terms is called a “clusterfuck” – a clusterpuck, if you will. One thing is fairly certain: I’m probably not getting that jersey.

23

IN THE ROOM WITH GREG SESTERO

Interview by KATIE MEADOWS Photograph by EMMA HALL-PHILLIPS

In The Room With Greg Sestero If you haven’t seen The Room, you have surely heard of it. It is lovingly called “the best worst movie of all time” by its legions of fans around the world, who know every word of its script and who, in a time of Netflix and torrenting, still pay money to see it on screen at cinemas, over ten years after it was first released. It is a movie so jarring and detached from filmmaking and storytelling conventions that it is impossible to turn away from, and it has made cult icons of its stars: writer, lead, and general enigma, Tommy Wiseau, and his straight-man co-star Greg Sestero, who first met Wiseau when he was just 19 and was caught up in Wiseau’s hurricane of an existence. Now, 15 years later, they are back together in their new offering Best F(r)iends, and Sestero visited New Zealand for the very first time for the film’s premiere at The Roxy in Miramar.

Best F(r)iends is comprised of two parts — “It’s kind of like Kill Bill” — and the premiere of Volume One was followed by a Q & A session with Sestero — at which I may have, in front of a large audience, asked him who killed JonBenét Ramsey — and a traditional screening of The Room, with full audience participation and plastic cutlery provided. The Roxy shows the 2013 classic every month, continuing on a now-worldwide cult tradition initially started by a group of film students who caught the film’s early run and coined its riffs, in the independent screenings financed from Wiseau’s mysterious and seemingly bottomless bank account.

We waded through a floor thick with spoons and forks on our way out of the cinema when the evening wrapped up just after midnight.

Earlier that day, I smoked three cigarettes, ate five mints, and met Greg at The Roxy for our interview.

He was very personable and forthcoming even though I was openly nervous. He also thought my name was Candy the entire time and signed my copy of his book as such.

In Best F(r)iends, Sestero is Jon, a homeless man who lost his family in a tragic accident, who is taken in by eccentric mortician Harvey (Wiseau), who makes masks and prosthetics for cadavers who were disfigured in death. As red flags pop up hinting that his new boss may have a murky past, Jon comes across a money-making scheme that could have him off the streets for good… but things are easier said than done. On presenting the pitch to Wiseau, Sestero — who wrote the entire script in four days — said Wiseau had only one request: that they be the same height in the film. Wiseau commissioned six inch platform heeled boots for filming, and despite his additional request that the shoes not be visible in the final cut they are gleefully present throughout. While Best F(r) iends is very much a different film than The Room, in pacing, writing, and production, The Room itself is so much an extension of Tommy Wiseau and his psyche that it is hard for hints of it not to come out in the new film; along with simply seeing Sestero and Wiseau reunited on screen, in one scene they play basketball in an alleyway; in another Wiseau greets a character with, “Oh hi!”

KATIE MEADOWS: WELL, I WANTED TO SAY: GREG, IT’S GREAT TO BE IN THE ROOM WITH YOU. Greg Sestero: A new room.

THE ROOM IS INFAMOUSLY KNOWN AS “THE BEST BAD MOVIE” OR “THE CITIZEN KANE OF BAD MOVIES”.

ART ITSELF IS SUBJECTIVE IN NATURE, YET I FEEL A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE VERY OBJECTIVE OPINIONS ABOUT THE FILM: DO YOU THINK IT’S FAIR TO CALL IT A BAD MOVIE, CONSIDERING THE CONTEXT OF IT? I mean, on a technical level — if you watch Inception, and then you watch the execution of The Room, then yes. But if you break it down to an entertainment level, then The Room is like going to the drive-thru at In-N-Out Burger or McDonalds and getting sloppy late-night food, it’s an easy sell. You can just invite your friends back, “Let’s get hammered, let’s watch this movie that is completely insane,” and it’s a great night. So in that sense, it’s not a bad movie, it’s great entertainment, but if you’re trying to put it in the same category as these films that are very well made, like Gone Girl, then yeah, it lives up to its reputation.

While the film is an opportunity for Tommy Wiseau to embody a character perhaps more suited to his range, as opposed to the leading heart-throb he aimed for as Johnny in The Room, for Sestero it feels like the natural next step in a surprising career that he could never have seen coming when he first met Wiseau at an acting class in 1998. After his role as Mark in the cult classic, Sestero wrote a memoir of his experience during filming, the critical and commercial success The Disaster Artist. Aside from winning several literary accolades, it would go on to be nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay at the 90th Academy Awards for the the film of the same name, that starred brothers James and Dave Franco as Wiseau and Sestero respectively.

I THINK THERE’S DEFINITELY A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MOVIE BEING “GOOD” AND A MOVIE BEING “ENJOYABLE”.

Yeah, because there’s movies that I’ve seen that have a budget of 50 million, are shot beautifully, and there’s stars in them, but I can’t finish them. I’m just not into it, it doesn’t work, it doesn’t grab me. So I think the worst movies are the ones you just wanna turn off after ten minutes. I think The Room gets that [bad movie] rap because of… many reasons; when you’re watching it you laugh out loud, because you’re 27

In The Room With Greg Sestero like, “Wait, what is this about? Why did they make that choice?” so I get it in that regard. But I think for entertainment purposes, if you have the right sense of humour it can be something just as good as Inception, but in a backwards way.

thing when you put out a movie or put your personality out there and it’s really different — you’ve just gotta expect a lot of different reactions, y’know? I think overall there’s a lot of love surrounding it. I dont think its coming from a negative place, and I think over time people have come to just appreciate it.

I THINK WE COULD SAY IT’S BETTER THAN INCEPTION. DO YOU THINK THAT THE ROOM QUALIFIES AS OUTSIDER ART? Yes, I would say it does, because it wasn’t accepted by a big studio, or developed by “professionals” per se, it was just made by one person who saw the world a different way. It was a cry out for help — “Hey I’m a star! I’m a great actor! Watch!” so it’s very much outsider art.

WAS EVERYONE RESPECTFUL DURING THE FILMING OF THE DISASTER ARTIST? I’ve never seen so many people look so happy to be part of a movie. They worked so hard, it was contagious. So there was a lot of love and passion that went into making that film.

DID YOU HAVE ANY SAY IN THE CASTING AT ALL? No, well, I figured, James [Franco] did a really good review of the book and I feel like it was interesting to me to let him see what he loved about the book, and do his thing. Writing it I was like… Javier Bardem as Tommy, Ryan Gosling as Greg, and I had this whole list of people, so that was the pipedream. Like, hey, let’s make a great movie about what people call the worst movie.

I WOULD SAY IT’S ONE OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PIECES OF OUTSIDER ART IN THAT REGARD. Yeah, it got embraced by the people, which is kind of what we all want to do. So ideally, it’s embraced by the people because it’s a phenomenal film, but I guess there’s just different ways to affect people.

YOU’VE ONLY WATCHED THE ROOM A COUPLE OF TIMES YOURSELF. DO YOU JUST TAP OUT OF IT WHEN YOU GO TO THE SCREENINGS? I think it’s so much fun to watch with a crowd but yeah, I’ve watched it very few times and almost every time it’s been with a crowd.

AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES WHEN JAMES WENT UP, AND THEN TOMMY WENT UP, AND THEN HE GOT CUT OFF [FROM SPEAKING], WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION TO THAT? Well, Tommy didn’t want to go up on stage initially and so I was trying to force him to go up there, and he was pushing me back, and I’m like, no, go! He was trying to drag me up there, and so at the last minute I pushed him to go up. I didn’t really see him reach for the mic because everything was kind of chaotic, but I watched it later and [thought] this is incredible, what a perfect cap off of this whole thing. It became the most talked about moment, him reaching for that mic, but I think you have limited time up there; James was just trying to keep it all together, you don’t know what Tommy was gonna say, so he was probably just like, “Woah.”

HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU WATCH IT? I get a kick out of it but I think it would be a lot harder if I made this movie and I had thought it was gonna be great, and you really put your heart and soul into it, and people are laughing and you feel like you’re being laughed at. But for me, I think when people watch the movie they can tell — “Poor guy, he’s just going through it."

THE VERY FIRST TIME YOU WATCHED IT, WHEN YOU WENT TO THE PREMIERE, WHAT WAS THAT LIKE? It was a different time in the industry, 2003, so a lot of people weren’t [ready]. It was a cult film, it was a premiere, a publicist brought a bunch of people thinking they were coming to see A Streetcar Named Desire dramatic film, and people were just like “What the fuck are they doing, what is going on.” So yeah, I thought that was it and that was as far as it was gonna go.

COULD YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE BIT OF BACKGROUND ON THE NEW MOVIE [BEST F(R)IENDS] AND HOW IT CAME ABOUT? So Best F(r)iends is the first movie Tommy and I have made since The Room. I didn’t ever expect to work with him again, for a lot of reasons. I wrote the script in four days after having an edible, and I was inspired by a road trip we took up the California coast in which he thought I was gonna try kill him. So it kind of evolved [as a] mish-mash of our real life experiences, with noir films and weird TV shows, and Nightcrawler which is a film I really like, so it was a mix of things. I pitched it to him and surprisingly he wanted to do it, and a big goal for me was to write a part and make a film with him in a lead character in a role that fits

DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE [IN PRESS JUNKETS] THAT PEOPLE WERE PATRONISING TOMMY, OR DIDN’T REALLY KNOW HOW TO TALK TO HIM? It’s a weird situation, because I think when you’re different and misunderstood people are enamoured and have their own way of dealing with it. So I think everyone’s pretty much good natured, but that’s the 28

Scene comparison from THE DISASTER ARTIST and THE ROOM

In The Room With Greg Sestero him, because I feel like all these [other] parts are just exploiting him in a way, like “Wacky Tommy” and I [wanted to] let him really be a character he can take seriously, and see what happens. A couple of friends that saw it said it’s “David Lynch, filtered through The Room, divided by The Disaster Artist”.

IT’S SORT OF YOUR RETRIBUTION, BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO JUST BE KNOWN AS THE PEOPLE FROM THAT BAD MOVIE. Yeah, I mean exactly, but you gotta be in something that people see and from that you can evolve from it.

If you don’t have The Room then you don’t really have a starting place.

WAS IT A NATURAL PROCESS TO HAVE MORE OF AN EQUAL ROLE WITH TOMMY WHEN MAKING THE MOVIE? Yeah, this was a much more enjoyable experience. I think with Tommy as an actor, it was more fascinating to me because I could enjoy his quirky qualities and really try to get a performance out of him, where he didn’t have to be in charge of this happening and that happening. So him just showing up and performing I thought was a better fit, in my experience. I’d also had some experience writing the book so I kind of knew what it was like to put the project together, and I enjoyed doing all the behind-the-scenes work in this case.

WELL, I GUESS WHEN TARZAN DOESN’T WORK OUT YOU GOTTA GO WITH THE ROOM, RIGHT? [SOME TIME BEFORE THE ROOM, GREG WAS HIRED FOR A THREE-DAY PROMOTIONAL STINT IN VEGAS DRESSED AS TARZAN HANDING OUT MUESLI BARS.] That is true.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU THOUGHT THAT BEING TARZAN WOULD INVOLVE WEARING A FULL COSTUME. I have no idea. I imagined just a big suit or something.

BUT JUST A LOINCLOTH. So, by the way, the girl who hired me all those years ago saw The Disaster Artist, and said “I thought you looked familiar!” and had pictures of me, as Tarzan, so you’re gonna see. I was like, “go away.” [leans over and shows the photo on his phone]

DO YOU HAVE A FAVOURITE CONSPIRACY ABOUT TOMMY, AND DO YOU KNOW THE ONE WHERE HE IS DB COOPER? That’s addressed in Volume One.

OH MY GOD, YOU’RE SO SHINY. Oh, I didn’t think of that.

OH MY GOD, I LOVE IT. THAT WAS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CONSPIRACIES TO READ ABOUT. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THE ONLY EVIDENCE WAS THAT HE KIND OF TALKED WEIRD AND HE WAS TALL? I THINK THAT WAS IT. Well, Tommy’s not tall.

DID THEY OIL YOU UP FOR IT? No, I don’t think so. I guess that’s why I was meant to be Tarzan. She kept these photos! I was like, nobody saw this, thank God, I escaped. It was just standing on a fuckin’ convention floor selling granola bars. I remember I went to the bathroom and I was almost about to cry, “Now I have to drive all the way home, and back out of this job, and they’re gonna be really upset.” And there was a really weird reaction — have you heard of Thunder Down Under [an all-male strip revue from Australia]? There was a manager guy there, and he walks up to me and he could see I wasn’t happy about being Tarzan, and he looked at me and he was like, “You’re so straight.” Well, yeah, but where the hell are you getting that? He asked if I was from Thunder Down Under and I [thought] this show needs to end, I need to get out of here.

OH, WELL I GUESS THAT ONE’S OUT THE WINDOW THEN. OR OUT THE PLANE, SO TO SPEAK. I think that was my favourite for a long time, or that he’s a Transylvanian vampire.

WELL, I THINK HE’S DEFINITELY A VAMPIRE. IT’S ALRIGHT, YOU CAN TELL ME, IF HE IS A VAMPIRE… I have pretty good reason to believe so.

DO YOU THINK THIS IS WHO YOU ARE NOW? THE GUY FROM THE ROOM? No, I mean, I made The Room 15 years ago and then the book ended up becoming its own movie, and now it’s just about making new things. You gotta start somewhere, it’s about being smart, because I wanted to do a bunch of different things, but I think it was important to do another movie with Tommy and try to do something really different, and I think it’s a good start for going in a new direction.

WELL, AGAIN, THAT’S NICE — THEY THOUGHT YOU WERE A PROFESSIONAL TARZAN. I started to think about where should I go, do I pursue Tarzan? But life goes on.

You can catch the next screening of The Room at The Roxy, Miramar, on August 10th.

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Columns

UNIQ: THE QUEER AGENDA

THE "F" WORD

ERIN PAGE

RUBY GOVAN GAFFNEY

The Outreach Nurse service is available to students enrolled with Mauri Ora (Student Health). This service is dedicated to International, Pasifika, Māori, and gender diverse students. It provides help for a range of things, including support for mental health needs, sexual health check-ups and contraception, immunisations and travel vaccines, among other things. Each appointment is 30 minutes, so there’s no rush.

In Defence of Ariel.

My brain has been fried the past couple days (a cold + stress + cramps = not a great time), and so when I got reminded that I needed to write one of these, I wasn’t sure what to do. I brainstormed for a couple hours (I say brainstormed… I mean I drew a cloud with some arrows and then watched Shane Dawson videos) but came up with nada. Eventually, frustrated with my lack of progress, I went to the common to procrastinate find inspiration.

I was welcomed by my floormates-turned-choir, midway through a pitchy rendition of “Where the People Are”. I joined in, naturally, and then, having found my inspiration, got writing.

Which brings me to Ariel, the first in a list of Disney Princesses I’m aggressively protective of.

I feel like the older Disney Princesses get a lot of flack, nowadays. Unlike our Moanas and Meridas, the OGs conform more to traditional femininity and gender roles. They get called “damsels” and “unfeminist”.

Ariel especially gets a lot of shit. Namely, because her story hinges on her ditching her life under the sea for some random dude she has never met.

Which fair enough, except she doesn’t. Not really.

Eric was never the catalyst of her story — in fact, it is only when her asshole dad blows up all her shit (sorry, gadgets and gizmos) up that she decides to leave. Hot-guy was an incentive, sure, but Ariel was, above all, just another teenager dreaming of life outside her small town (… ocean). Maybe it’s because I myself grew up in a place that felt somewhat limiting, but Ariel, for all her whininess, is one of the most realistic and relatable characters Disney has to offer.

She craves adventure, and unlike me, is actually brave enough to chase her dreams, and defy authority to achieve her goals.

And if that’s not damn inspiring, well fuck, I’m hooked anyway.

Tara Lewis is one of the Outreach Nurses, working between Kelburn and Te Aro campuses. She has been a nurse for eight years, and before then was a teacher, so she’s worked with many different people over her career. She acknowledges that as a white woman with a Welsh accent, she might seem an interesting choice for the position. But, in our chat for this column, it was easy to see how incredibly passionate she is about helping those who might otherwise feel healthcare and support services are not accessible.

She saw how those in her family in the LGBTQIA+ community struggled with getting equal healthcare and their struggles in general and wanted to make a difference, so she has both a personal and professional interest in advocating for equal care regardless of gender, sexuality, or ethnicity. She is very open to learning from student’s perspectives, offering a safe environment built on trust, mutual respect, and confidentiality. She said there was great interest and feedback in the first year of the service, and hopes this service is seen as a welcoming, all-inclusive, safe space that can help with a variety of issues.

For Māori students, Outreach Nurse Mykie Sagar is available on 0220358130 or mykie.sagar@vuw. ac.nz. For International, Pasifika, and gender diverse students, Outreach Nurse Tara Lewis is available on 0220358131 or tara.lewis@vuw.ac.nz. You can also book an appointment at Student Health reception.

Erin Page, UniQ Co-President

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Columns

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS

VUWSA

MARLON DRAKE

SIMRAN RUGHANI

We’re absolutely whizzing into semester 2, and what a semester it’s proving to be. The exec has put many hours into planning the next couple of months, and we’re excited to be getting started. Here’s a very narrow update of the mahi.

I don’t know about you, but we are only two weeks in and it feels like I never left. It can be difficult to find the motivation to keep going, but that’s when you have to remind yourself why you are here and studying.

Education is not only good for you as an individual, but it is good for society, as it develops our skills and enables us to think critically and be better able in our role as the conscience of society. So, keep at it!

After the March on Midland, we established a working group of five law students, led by our awesome equity officer Paddy Miller, to create a proposal for the usage of Government procurement policy as a tool for social change. In simple terms, proposing better rules that businesses need to follow in order to work with Government and receive public funding. The core part of this would be a requirement of good sexual harassment practice within businesses. Fair enough ay? We heard back from the Minister David Parker who had a very favourable response, and is keen for us to communicate further with his ministry. Chur boss.

It’s still early days, so it’s a really good chance to take stock of what you are doing for the trimester and organise yourself. Try and spread your workload by starting things early and making sure you are taking breaks. Breaks and having fun are important in the balance of work, study, and play.

Speaking of fun, the Student Representation Celebration is coming up on Thursday 16 August, at Milk and Honey at 6pm. All class representatives, faculty delegates, and other student representatives are invited to celebrate the success of their peers, hear from DVC Māori Rawinia Higgins, and have a good time. The way it works is that students nominate (now open!) class representatives who have done an outstanding job and can nominate a lecturer for Lecturer of the Year! This is the only lecturer award chosen by the students. It’s important to have your say and recognise the students who help shape your experience and help increase the quality of your education at Victoria University.

NZUSA released the Kei Te Pai? report a couple of weeks ago, a piece of research detailing the reality of tertiary students’ mental health. If you’ve got the time give it a read, otherwise I can say that it really just confirms a lot of what we already know. My big takeaway from the report is that based on many of the comments, we have a strong sense of empathy in our community. There is a lot of genuine concern for one another. If you’re a bit worried about a mate, why not give them a tap on the shoulder and ask how they are? And not the kiwi “howsit” “yeah good mate” response, a proper “how have you been handling stuff?” They might be fine, or they might need a shoulder to cry on. Either way, I guarantee you will make their day.

If you are a class representative or other form of student representative and haven’t heard from us, get in touch with src@vuwsa.org.nz

VUWSA will be taking some further action in student mental health in the near future so if you’re keen to get involved flick us an email, otherwise just keep your ear to the streets and your eye on our FB page.

Here’s to having a trimester of fun, balance, and of course, quality learning <3

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B.I: Biased Intelligence

In a tone-deaf study from the University of Stanford last year, researchers used facial recognition software on 14,000 profile pictures on an American dating website paired with an algorithm that recorded the sexual orientation information listed on each profile.

The resulting software made composite images of “average” straight and queer faces, and claimed to be able to distinguish between queer and heterosexual faces with 81% accuracy for men and 71% accuracy for women, dubbed by outlets as an “gaydar AI”.

The Human Rights Commission and GLAAD both heavily criticised the study for effectively creating a persecution search engine. To quote Ian Malcolm, they were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should. Even then, at best the data is only really useful for benign sociological uses, like learning about dating cultures.

The Stanford researchers rejected their concerns for “lacking scientific training”, with one of them doubling down to say the study could go on to demonstrate whether facial recognition software can predict political orientation or potential criminality. Which... uuurgh, can we please not bring phrenology back into vogue within my lifetime? The only thing that my furrowed brow will tell you about my character is that I have no tolerance for pseudoscience. I can’t imagine any queer researcher would be terribly concerned with determining the objective “gay face” either.

As our societies become more automated and dependent on algorithms, these issues will only become more commonplace, unless they’re addressed in the design stage. Tech companies and researchers should either anticipate a diverse user base or, better yet, hire a diverse staff who can inform development with their own life experiences. It’s important to be critical of who makes this technology and for what purpose; you don’t want to wonder what will happen when you’re left up to your own devices.

CW: Discussion of racism and homophobia.

On August 16th 2017, Chukwuemeka Afigbo, a worker in tech from Nigeria, posted a video to Twitter of an automatic soap dispenser in a public bathroom.

The video begins with a white man’s hand under an automatic soap dispenser. Dutifully, the machine disperses a jet of soap into his open palm. Afigbo then asks his friend Noel, a black man, to put his hand underneath the dispenser. He does, and the dispenser does nothing. Noel waves his hand up and down to try and get the dispenser to “notice” him, a typical ritual to appease the sensors, but the dispenser still does nothing.

Both men conclude that his hand is “too black” for the machine, which is coded only to dispense when it recognises one kind of skin definition. A simple design flaw turned a modern convenience into an alienating experience for both him and his friend. Just to hammer the point home, Noel then grabs a (white) paper towel and holds it under the dispenser. Sure enough, the machine dispenses soap onto it.

Afigbo shared the video in an attempt to address “the importance of diversity in tech and its impact on society”, and the video quickly went viral, as conversations began around biases in tech development. We assume that machines are incapable of prejudice, but there is always a value judgement made by the people who build them about how they should work and for whom they’re intended.

Where this gets more complicated is our current use of computer algorithms, which use existing data to make broad assumptions about people based on select information. You don’t have to work in technology to know that they can effectively become a recipe for perpetuating biases.

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Columns

SWAT

PSC: ONE OCEAN

PORTIA LANCASTER

KOREROTIA WILLIAMS

Trimester two has arrived, a fresh beginning for new and old students alike. We’re all bright eyed and full of motivation (hopefully), ready to take on our papers without procrastinating (good luck there, folks, I know I need it). Look at us go, so much optimism! Let’s keep it that way.

My time spent at the University of Hawaiʻi at Mānoa this year was one of the best things I have done in my college life. The constant sun-kissed feel and urge to hit the beach or go down to the local poke bowl was hard to resist. What can I say, itʻs Hawaiʻi, I was studying in paradise. Who doesnʻt want to live in Hawaiʻi? If you’re like me, a chill dude from Aotearoa, then you will fit right in. I liked getting to see the true Hawaiʻi through the people and the land, this kine stuff stirred my spirit.

Right now, while we’re sans undereye-bags and impending deadlines, is the perfect time to take on some stress-killing self-care strategies. Here are some tips for keeping your wellbeing in check.

I felt proud marching to Iolani Palace with Kanaka left, right, and centre. It was here that I saw first hand the effects of militarization and American occupation in Hawaiʻi. I saw homelessness like I had never seen before. Sometimes I would find myself in awe, other times speechless. I was moved to see my Kanaka Maoli (Native Hawaiian) brothers and sisters come together as their stand against the illegal overthrow of the Hawaiian kingdom continues.

- Mindfulness is a highly researched and successful practice that reduces stress. Take a few minutes for yourself, in an environment where you can let yourself relax. Focus your mind completely on one thing – sensations you feel, your environment, relaxing your muscles, breathing. If your mind wanders, gently divert it back.

- Exercise! Endorphins and a sense of achievement work wonders on reducing stress. Not only this but fitting exercise into your routine can also be energising and improve your cognition – important for mentally taxing stressors such as assignments!

If you go to Hawaiʻi, you will notice the American flag is always higher than the Hawaiian flag, except maybe at uncles house down in Waimanalo. Walking down the street in the city often feeling swallowed up in the chaos of tourists, buildings, and globalisation. I would find my peace near the ocean swimming till nightfall, or going on adventures, hikes, or just exploring.

- Social support is also vital for getting through stressful periods. Confide in someone you trust, maybe they can give you a fresh perspective, or help solve a problem, or simply lift your spirits. Even just hugging it out can help because, believe it or not, hugs reduce the the stress hormone cortisol — who’d’ve thought?

If there's something that I could take away from Hawaiʻi, it is that I carry each person that imparted wisdom onto me, and that my spirit is richer for it.

As they influenced and inspired me with the stories of Kupuna that gave me life, I will walk forward knowing that I do not walk alone.

- Sometimes we neglect to give ourselves a break when we feel overwhelmed. A bit of quality “me time” can help you unwind — chill out, accomplish something small, or treat yourself. Let yourself have a breather and be a priority without feeling guilty about it.

Self-care is an easy addition to your regular routine, so why not try it? Let’s get through the tri unscathed and with our well-being intact.

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IN OUR DANICA SOICH

Other objectors claim that 1080 annihilates everything. Its true that early forms of 1080 did kill smaller birds, like tomtits. But DOC responded accordingly and dyed the pellets to put off birds.

Studies between 1998 and 2002 found that, of the birds monitored, none died from 1080. What 1080 kills is mammals, which makes it particularly suitable for NZ where our only native mammal is a bat. Unfortunately, dogs are particularly sensitive to the poison. Multiple pups have died from eating a poisoned carcass. 1080 also kills deer and pigs, which explains the widespread bristling from hunters — some of who rely on such creatures for food and income. In terms of human death related to 1080, the average person would have to gobble more than seven pellets for it to be fatal.

While some concerns are dismissed by hard science, other concerns fall beyond the constraints and judgement of science and fact.

It’s difficult to reconcile poison scattered from the sky with tikanga and kaitiakitanga. The very idea of poisoning Papatūānuku is abominable. There is also an issue of personal ethics and animal welfare, as 1080 is a tortuous toxin. Eye witness accounts of a poisoned possum report screeches of pain and seizures so violent they propelled the creature into the air.

The fact remains: 1080 does work. Take Nelson Lakes National Park. Prior to the 1080 drop, just 12 percent of kiwi chicks survived to independence. The next season, 56 per cent survived, having been given a chance to procreate in peace.

Failure to use 1080 is a failure to make right the mistakes of our past. It is a failure to our future, where our unique taonga may no longer exist. We must improve practice and control, and strive for ethical developments like adding painkillers to bait. The government must consult and listen to those who feel a special connection with the bush and creatures within it. 1080 or no 1080; birdsong or silence.

Talking ‘bout 1080.

Legend has it that when Māori first arrived on the shores of Aotearoa, the birdsong was deafening.

A tempest of booms, whistles, chirrups, and hoots erupted from the wild, impenetrable bush. Now, on a walk through the bush, listen closely. Hear a peep, a rustle, and the echo of silence.

The silence in our native forests is a result of the teeth and claws that settlers brought to our shores.

Brushtail possums were introduced and bred by colonists in 1837 to spur a fur trade. Now, possums steal and slurp up birds’ eggs. They devour trees with such ferocity that they can strip a rātā to its skeleton in a night. Stoats, originally brought into to control rabbits, will patrol kiwi nests waiting for chicks to hatch. Hordes of rats hunt down frogs, geckos, and insects.

This gang of predators is responsible for the extinction of more than 50 of our bird species as well as three frogs, a bat, a freshwater fish, at least three lizards, and an unknown number of insects.

Our nation dreams of Predator Free NZ 2050.

1080, used in NZ since the 50s, is at the forefront of achieving this dream.

What is 1080? Weirdly, it’s a kind of salt; sodium monofluoroacetate. The active ingredient is produced naturally in some plants, including tea leaf.

There’s a lot of mythology wrapped up in the poison green pellets.

Opponents cry out that 1080 poisons soil and waterways. 1080 does contaminate water, but the effects are ephemeral. The poison breaks down into non toxic by-products very quickly. Landcare Research has tested 2098 water samples following 1080 drops.

Only three per cent contained traces of 1080 and all were well below the Ministry of Health drinking water standard. Fish and freshwater invertebrates swim freely as the toxin has no effect on them. Because 1080 does not bioaccumulate, it does not persist in soil.

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Columns

NT: TE ARA TAUIRA

THE INTERNATIONAL ANGLE

RUBEN KEARNEY-PARATA

PHUONG ANH NGUYEN

Treaties don’t get “settled”. They get honoured. You can’t honour the Treaty until colonisation is “settled”.

You can’t “settle” colonisation with money and an apology. You can only “settle” colonisation by doing something about the power that the colonisers took.

- Moana Jackson in Max Harris’ The New Zealand Project.

Walking on Edge

Since before the signing of the Treaty of Waitangi, colonial governments have taken lands, either by legislation or by force, for means of their economic production and exploitation. These decisions continued after the signing, and lead to a period which unjustly deprived Māori of their legal rights. The Native Lands Act 1862 and the Public Works Act 1864 are both two examples which aided in the removal of Māori people from their homelands. 1877 saw the Crown regard the Treaty as a “simple nullity”. And even more recently, the Foreshore and Seabed Act 2003 significantly undermined the Treaty by its seeking to extinguish customary title and confiscate the foreshore and seabed.

Although governments have sought to “settle” the Treaty by way of treaty settlements, adequate measures have not been taken to symbolically recognise each injustice, and the healing process that has taken place behind each history. Even the fact that groups undertaking settlement with the government are given a handful of limiting options when dealing with the Crown is disappointing. In some instances here, the government offers either A, B, or C as options for apology, rather than meaningful and appropriate reconciliation.

The Treaty has not been honoured.

It is crucial to understand the history of the Treaty in New Zealand but it is equally as important to question who holds the power, how this power is distributed, and how this impacts the partnership today. A shift in the balance of power is necessary if the Treaty partnership is to be honoured in Aotearoa.

There I was, standing at the Auckland airport with 40kg of luggage, staring into the far distance. My head was pounding and my whole body was aching after the 12 hour flight. I was physically drained. It couldn’t compare with the emotional turmoil that was going on in my head though.

I went back to Vietnam during my winter break to visit family and friends. Hanoi is home — always has been, always will be. And yet, I had this weird feeling that I didn’t belong when I touched down in Hanoi about 4 weeks ago. Maybe it was because I had been away for so long, maybe it was because there had been quite a few changes made, or maybe it was because everyone saw me in a different light. Regardless of the case, it was hard trying to get back to the life I had once upon a time.

However, setting foot on Auckland made me once again realize how out of place I was. It was just a feeling that came crashing down as I struggled to manoeuvre my trolley through the crowd. There was this identity crisis simmering just below the surface that was about to erupt just any time. Being an international student myself, I had to constantly walk the edge between cultures within the same persona, battling with feeling isolated while trying to balance between two cultures. It is tough at times, especially when surrounded with such bewilderment that came along with having to adjust to a new social and academic environment.

It is the uncertainty of which culture to lean towards while being in New Zealand that made the identity crisis so much more challenging for me. International students like me are fighting an ongoing battle with figuring out who they are while walking in and out of two different cultures.

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ART FREE TIME REVIEW: JANE WALLACE

Here are some exhibitions and events that I have not seen yet, but that are exciting and intriguing. Use a moment before deadlines to catch a couple of these, and I will follow my own advice and do the same.

flower. These kind of slippages between reality and interpretation, especially when travelling across geographies, are navigated through mixed media and video works. Drawing from the artist’s experiences in Aotearoa, Benin, and Paris, she contemplates the possibility of everything being connected to something else.

Pleasure and vexation— the strata and spectacle of history at Pātaka, until 19 August Danie Mellor

Death and Desire— Hair in the Turnbull Collections at National Library of New Zealand Te Puna Mātauranga, until 7 September

Danie Mellor’s use of mixed media creates images that resemble something suspended between cyanotype and willow patterning. This exhibition explores the consequences of colonisation on indigenous people in Australia, and stresses the need for continuing dialogue around the troubled coexistence of indigenous and non-indigenous people. These are critical conversations to be having, a reminder that indigenous people are still living with the effects of colonial rule.

I have always been repulsed by those Victorian mourning bracelets with tiny photographic portraits woven into a wristband of hair, but equally fascinated.

Katherine Mansfield’s ponytail is included in this collection, and in many ways, to collect and label hair because of who it was once attached to seems like an act of intense fandom. There is something cult-like about it, placing value on every aspect of someone, rather than just celebrating their work alone. I love this balancing act between beauty and morbidity.

Window Dressing at Bartley + Company, until 11 August Lonnie Hutchinson

Mata Aho Collective talk at The Dowse, 4 August at 4pm, free entry but booking required

You’ve probably seen Lonnie Hutchinson’s work before, those dispersed cut-out-like shapes in the very silent reading room in the library. In this exhibition, she uses the idea of window and curtains to think about what is seen and unseen. Her method is like creating strings of paper dolls, inseparable from each other, but employs Polynesian motifs and mythology to think about what it means to be Polynesian, a woman, and deeply connected to genealogy, place, and history.

Mata Aho Collective are discussing their work commissioned for The Dowse’s new exhibition Can Tame Anything, on its opening day. The exhibition will look at how 1980s critical theory and installation practices are still influential today. Mata Aho work on a large-scale, and often with unconventional material.

The close-up thumbnail image for their talk looks like some sort of nylon cord, so I am excited about the new work, and to hear them discuss it.

Le Sceau de Salomon at The Engine Room, until 3 August Chloé Quenum This exhibition is about dual meanings to things. The French title refers to the legend of the Seal of King Solomon, a signet ring that allowed him to control demons — it also refers to the name of a forest 37

BOOK THE FRIENDSHIP CURE KATE LEAVER REVIEW: SHANTI MATHIAS

Friendship is one of those essential things that is easy to take for granted. In The Friendship Cure, Kate Leaver tries to examine friendship, and look deeper into the role it plays in society . She interviews lots of people about their friendships and why they’re important, and attaches that to broader conclusions about (middle-and-upper class Western) society.

messy. After all, “when it comes to friendship, we’re using all our faculties,” and Leaver is all too willing to embrace the glorious complexities of friendship.

Something else I really appreciated about The Friendship Cure is Leaver’s examination of friendship as it interacts with other parts of your life. What should friendship look like at work? How do you be a friend to someone with mental illness? How does friendship vary by gender? What does friendship look like after you get married? After you have children?

Each chapter sort of picks a topic like this, and then Leaver talks about her own experience and thoughts on this, consults maybe one expert, quotes from one pertinent study, interviews someone about it. Each chapter is pulled together fairly well, but while they do build on each other to some extent, I found that the book covers so much that a central coherency was often missing.

Leaver is a particularly strong advocate of “the university friends we actually consciously select using our almost fully developed frontal lobe[s]”. I found her meditations on bonding over alcohol and assignments and independence particularly poignant, especially when she spoke of how the friends she made at university wound their way into her life. In this book, Leaver’s life is frequent source material, and as she is young (like thirty or so) she is particularly interested in modern friendship.

That means social media, of course. You’ve probably heard old people whinge about how social media is ruining people’s abilities to create genuine relationships. There is certainly a “loneliness epidemic”, and Leaver provides anecdotal and scientific evidence to back this up, but she doesn’t blame social media.

Instead, she acknowledges that “it’s not about youth or technology; it’s about evolution, science, health […] honesty, and priorities”. She writes of how, on days when she is depressed and angry, the ability to access her friends through her phone has been a gift, and I have seen that in my own life too. In a world where friends become scattered, Leaver’s willingness to embrace new forms of friendship is encouraging.

While the content of this book was fully interesting and engaging, I struggled a little with the tone. Leaver describes people as “darling” or “sweet” and is prone to using phrases like “oh boy” (and in one memorable instance, “boy oh boy, oh boy, oh boy”). I like it when writing is accessible, but the conversational style of the book seemed a bit try hard to me. Like a new friend, Leaver works a little too hard to please you.

The Friendship Cure is profoundly accessible, but that distracts from the excellent content.

The Friendship Cure will not teach you how to be a friend; you’re a human being and you know that already. But it will teach you to be a better friend, and remind you of the many reasons to connect with the people in the empty universe which surrounds you.

Friendship shouldn’t be a static thing, either. That’s perhaps the biggest message of this book: friendship can look like a lot of things, and if you impose only one idea of the “perfect friendship” on all your relationships, you’ll be doing yourself, and your friends, a disservice. Maybe you know this already; I’d like to think I do. But friendship is difficult and

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FILMS LET’S JUST YELL ABOUT SEQUELS SICARIO: DAY OF THE SOLDADO REVIEW: MONTY SANSOM

JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM

After confirming the absences of Denis Villeneuve, Roger Deakins, and Emily Blunt, and with the title of Soldado finally decided at the eleventh hour, I was concerned about what exactly I was going to be seeing at the screening of the Sicario sequel.

However, the acting calibre of both Josh Brolin and Benicio Del Toro delivered again. Their cold, merciless characters in the world Villeneuve established dished out questionable solutions to the cartel problem.

The ideas of law and morality explored in Sicario (2015) are enriched in its anthological follow-up, by delving into the lengths these people will go to to achieve their goals, and exploring the effects of the drug world on children. The first act of the new film encapsulates this, with Matt Graver (Brolin) and Alejandro (Del Toro) organising a “false flag” operation by kidnapping a cartel leaders’ daughter Isabela, in a set sprinkled with pieces that attempt to mimic the tense Mexican border scene of Sicario.

After this point, however, the movie has an identity crisis and can’t quite decide what it wants to be. The plot lines between Alejandro and Isabela bogs the film’s second act down. Consequently, the third act rushes to tie in the remaining plot line and delivers a fake-out death with an obvious set up for another film.

Without the slick direction of Villeneuve and the cinematic eye of Deakins, Soldado comes across as another reactionary sequel. It delivers the central advertised conflict with the cartel, but struggles to keep the story afloat by choosing to focus on the next generation, (another sequel trend) and then cops out its ending for the sake of milking this franchise.

Hopefully, for their sake, Taylor Sheridan will still be willing to write the next one.

I liked Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom and I can’t believe I’m saying that. Yes, we all know that Jurassic World (the one with all the product placement) was a bloated, capitalistic mess, but I genuinely found some fun in the sequel.

Not because of Chris Pratt, because personally, I’d be happy if Chris Pratt died five minutes into the third installment in this franchise and Bryce Dallas-Howard took things over, but because of its ridiculousness.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is two straight hours of utter bullshit, and I loved the film for it. I entered the theatre hoping for some sweet, sweet glimpses of grey-haired daddy Jeff Goldblum (unfortunately relegated to a cameo role) and left delirious, wondering where on earth they could take the franchise next.

So. It’s been three years since the first film. Isla Nublar is about to explode. Our faves must go and save the dinosaurs from the volcano. Simple, yeah?

Unfortunately, that’s when all goes to shit and some Bad Guys take the dinosaurs from Isla Nublar and try to sell them at a private auction. Our faves must save the dinos. Which they do. By releasing them into the wild.

Fam, I hate to say it, but there’s a really strong possibility Jurassic World 3 is going to be a postapocalyptic film, and I don’t know what to think about that.

Will we get to see Chris Pratt fight off mutated dinosaurs with a machine gun? Who knows?! Will we get to see Bryce Dallas-Howard spear a t-rex through the head with one of her high heels? Who knows?!

It’s going to be a goddamn clusterfuck and I’m absolutely going to see it on opening night.

REVIEW: EMMA MAGUIRE

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TELEVISION EVERYTHING SUCKS REVIEW: LAUREN WHITE

I really wanted to like Everything Sucks! I hadn’t found a show about teenagers that had felt real to me since finishing My Mad Fat Diary back in high school. So when it was first released on Netflix, I eagerly clicked the play button before the trailer could even start.

Ten hours later I sat staring as the credits rolled to “In The Meantime” by Spacehog. The sun began to rise behind my bedroom blinds. I swallowed my disappointment, turned over, and went to sleep.

scenes done right.

Some of the more focal choices, on the other hand, seem contradictory. There’s the obligatory parent walking in on masturbation scene; depictions and descriptions of porn and sex; issues of racism and the fear of coming out; and yet the show takes place in a squeaky clean world. What worked well for 1999’s Freaks and Geeks (A clear inspiration for Everything Sucks!) was that the characters acted convincingly, and so even when certain plot elements were handled poorly it was an accurate depiction of a teenager reacting to a situation. There’s a moment in Everything Sucks! where the infamous song “Fire Water Burn (The Roof is on Fire)” by Bloodhound Gang begins to play.

I thought to myself, “jeez, they’re really doing that”.

Then they censored the chorus. This overt caution sums up how Everything Sucks! approached most of their half baked concepts. The show suffers from the same overly saturated filter that plagues a lot of potentially realistic film and television by glossing over a lot of the potential rawness of the narrative.

First of all, I can acknowledge that the show in itself is relatively harmless. It means well. If you switch off the parts of your brain that relish in hating it, it’s even enjoyable. The themes and concepts advocated may be predictable, but they are nevertheless sincere. So much so that you could almost forgive the clumsiness and lack of subtlety with which they are handled.

Everything Sucks! is little more than another show looking to make bank off a recent trend that has more than proven its potential for capitalisation — nostalgia.

Stranger Things weaponised the 80s, and Everything Sucks! does the same with the 90s. It capitalises off onthe-nose references to iconic pop culture of the time, while rehashing the same characters and dynamics from thirty year old shows and films in hopes that we won’t notice. I would have been willing to overlook this, and the fact that an Oasis song was used for plot development, had the makers been truly willing to create something new. To give modern youth a show that finally portrayed real teenagers talking about and experiencing the unavoidable struggle of finding out where you fit in the world. Alas, it was not to be.

Everything Sucks! is not bad, but it isn’t great either.

It hovers over the wide middle margin in the Venn diagram of shows that have potential but also lack the confidence and writing to succeed. Instead we are left with a debut series that is admittedly endearing but essentially just an off-brand version of its superior counterparts.

For all my repulsion towards the aspects that didn't work, there were those that — when given their moments — really did. The child actors are fantastic.

Kate, played by Peyton Kennedy, is a girl trying coming to grips with her sexuality with poise and heartfelt tentativeness. Moments like when she watches a lesbian couple comfortably express carefree PDA at a Tori Amos concert prove that there were some 40

MUSIC LOST & FOUND JORJA SMITH REVIEW: JOSH ELLERY

Lost & Found is the debut from British up-and-comer Jorja Smith, and follows her appearances on Drake’s More Life and the soundtrack from Black Panther. I especially remember her interlude on More Life being particularly captivating, so went into Lost & Found with high expectations – especially having heard none of her advance singles.

Lost & Found does have a couple of relative missteps – I’m not so big on “February 3rd”, and there are moments on the likes of “Lifeboats (Freestyle)” and “The One” that could have been sharper as far as lyricism and melodic intrigue. Still, I admire that Smith has gone for a tight collection of tracks here, as she doesn’t delve into the same excessive, bloated style of album composition that Drake or Rae Sremmurd have in recent weeks. Lost & Found isn’t perfect, but Jorja Smith really is a gem. I’d recommend her performance for NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert in tandem with this album. Both works display an effortless sense of coolness and confidence, alongside a stellar voice and generally strong songs. This should appeal to many people, and I can see Smith taking off in a big way should even one of these songs gain traction in a mainstream sense.

I was not disappointed in the slightest. Lost & Found fulfils the promise Smith displayed as a collaborator on these projects and, as far as a debut goes, displays immense potential for a long and successful career in the mainstream. Smith’s voice showcases dexterity and depth throughout, immediately positioning herself as a star likely to follow in the footsteps of the stellar British pop/soul singers that precede her (she’s not quite an Amy or an Adele, but I think she could get there – not to delve into hyperbole too much).

The title track serves as the opener, and will immediately excite fans of 90s R&B and hip-hop, largely due to its laid back boom-bap production and percussive vocal, perhaps reminiscent of Lauryn Hill. I realise I'm throwing around plenty of big names here, but Smith seems to have done her research and, as a result, draws from many of the best features of their music. My favourite on the album is “Teenage Fantasy”, a song written by Smith while in high school.

To me, this is a perfect pop song. The lyric is direct, and the bridge showcases an earworm melody, but the chorus is the real gem here. It’s just so jammy, and showcases groove, grit, and sass that sets her apart from the myriad of neo-soul singers operating in the scene currently. “Blue Lights” is similarly gritty, again drawing from the boom-bap palette. Worth saying here that the production throughout Lost & Found is nothing short of immaculate – it’s not overproduced, and shines at the right moments while pulling back to allow Smith’s voice to soar. Smith even raps on “Blue Lights”, and does a pretty awesome job of it. There’s a distinctly human edge to Smith’s performances, and I can’t rave about it enough, clearly.

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PODCAST NO SUCH THING AS A FISH REVIEW: TOM WHITE

Last year, a member of Iceland's Pirate Party injured her eye and had to appear on TV wearing an eyepatch. In 2013, six people in the US named their child “Mushroom”. If every car in Monaco tried to drive at the same time, they wouldn’t fit on the roads.

When zebras run away from lions, they fart with every stride. This but a glimpse of the treasure trove of information that is No Such Thing As A Fish.

dinner party, Barack Obama might have to wait for the next one.

It may never come in handy to know these facts, but whakarongo mai to this show and it will improve your life. It’s kinda good to hear that democracy is alive and kicking in the sneeze-based voting system of African wild dogs. And we can take solace in the fact that Ken is officially an accessory to Barbie.

The podcast comes from four of the researchers (fondly dubbed “elves”) for the tv show QI. In their endless quest (a labour of love) for intriguing factoids, each week they share with the others their favourite fact from the last seven days, and, using these as bases for their own further research, riff on wherever the conversation goes. The show lies at the confluence of knowledge and humour, the hosts’ elephantine memories rivalled only by their quick wit.

They are as comfortable on the stage with a mic and a Powerpoint as holed up in their “Covernt Gar-den” offices, and this makes for a mean live show, as this lucky writer recently personally experienced when they played in Wellington. Although my best efforts and multiple emails (I wish I was kidding) hadn’t resulted in an actual coffee date beforehand, I did meet the tangata rongonui themselves after the show (it was amazing and I got pics to show the grandkids).

In a typical three minutes of the show, Anna tells us about the works of art on the inside of Japanese firefighters’ coats; Dan relates that firefighters used to have massive beards which they would drench in water, bite into and hold in their mouth in order to breathe; James pipes in that the guy with the longest beard ever died tripping over it while trying to escape his house in a fire; and Andrew brings it home with the firefighting goats of San Francisco.

That episode was actually released just last week, so check that out. (Beware, friends, for my guffaws).

In the meantime I can get you started with a couple more goodies for when the food is running late and the sand in the conversation hourglass is dwindling: Volkswagen sells more sausages than cars; dolphins have names for one another; in Welsh folklore, corgis were the preferred method of transportation for fairies. Hey, if you’re feeling it, you could even go for when the brothels of Paris closed down so that everyone could go to Victor Hugo’s funeral in order to pay tribute to a devoted patron. At any rate, never be afraid to peacock your facts, people!

The podcast format means that we get to be part of the hosts’ weekly hui, and over time get to know their personalities. Dan Schreiber’s stories are random (and a concerning number of his facts “dubious”), Andrew Hunter Murray (with whom I may be in love) is incredibly nerdy and genuinely hilarious, obsessed with comic sans and the Casio F-91W, Anna Ptaszynski (she’s amazing) we learn hates festivals and loves wine, and James Harkin’s puns are per-fact: when he tells you that Norway once knighted a penguin, he’s the P-U-N G-E-N-I-u-s who will call it Pungu (its real name is actually Colonel-in-Chief Sir Nils Olav). I reckon if you could have any four people over for a

Also, the Queen’s nickname is Gary.

42

THEATRE SONGS FOR NOBODIES JOANNA MURRAY-SMITH REVIEW: PRIYANKA ROY

“Everyone has a story” is the catchphrase of this critically acclaimed, one-woman play starring Ali Harper. The show is a tribute to five female musical legends: Judy Garland, Patsy Cline, Edith Piaf, Billie Holiday, and Maria Callas.

safety by Edith Piaf. In the fourth act, we see a restless young reporter looking for a break and who finds it by getting a chance to interview Billie Holiday. Finally, we meet an Irish nanny, Orla, who provides a rare glimpse into the life of Maria Callas.

Directed by Ross Gumbley, the production focuses on the storytelling aspect with a minimalist approach to performance. Richard Van den Berg creates a raised stage without much frills. The only prop on the stage is a single black bentwood chair, and drapes that are lit to reveal a trio of musicians (momentarily striking as the Three Witches from Macbeth). Sean Harkness’ lighting is evocative and follows the rhymes and rhythms of the story; flashes of dressing room mirrors and a star-lit night are sprinkled throughout the 90-minute production.

Songs for Nobodies highlights the tragic elements of life. Throughout the play, enquiries such as "Tell me, what do happy people sing about?" bring forth larger questions that haunt everyone in the world. Every act in this production illustrates the universal need to be heard and seen. In the end, all the five nobodies in the play strive to leave behind a legacy: a song of their own.

Ali Harper is stunning in this production. Her ability to convey the wide-ranging vocal characteristics, physical gestures, and behaviors of the five female legends was highly persuasive. She credibly captures the striking vulnerability of Judy Garland, the emotional warmth of Patsy Cline, the impressive breadth of Edith Piaf, that tempo of Billie Holiday, and the dramatic tenor of Maria Callas.

One of the strengths of this production is its use of music. The pianist Daniel Hayles, Johnny Lawrence on the double bass, and percussionist Lance Philip are compelling. Each act evokes the music of a particular era that immediately transports the audience to a different time and age.

Songs for Nobodies is truly an astonishing acting and singing extravaganza, and Ali Harper deserves all the accolades for her outstanding performance.

Songs for Nobodies narrates five everyday women whose lives change when they happen to meet five legendary divas of their time. Each of these five women’s stories feature an iconic song (among many) that reveal Harper’s incredible vocal range.

In the first act, we meet a lavatory attendant whose husband has left her. She encounters Judy Garland in a powder room and is comforted by the diva’s song, “Come Rain or Come Shine”. In the second act, we have a theatre usher who gets her five minutes of fame when Patsy Cline pulls her up on stage to sing backup.

In this act, Cline's tragic story of rushing home to see her children and dying in a plane crash is narrated to the audience. The third act introduces a librarian from Nottingham who recalls her father’s history as a member of the French resistance and who was led to 43

FOOD A SPICY WINTER DRINK RECIPE: TOM HALL

Method Pour the entire bottle of wine into a pot, with the stove on medium. Add the zest and juice of an orange, 1/2 a cup of sugar, and a couple of pinches of any of the spices mentioned above. I would highly recommend using cinnamon at the very least, but you can play around with the different spices to create the flavor that you like. If you’re feeling sophisticated, buy cinnamon quills, whole cloves/star anise, and grate the nutmeg into the pot. Fresh spices invariably taste better than boxes of powdered spice. However, if you’re a mulled wine newbie — it really won’t make much of a difference. Stir periodically, to make sure that the sugar dissolves and the spices don’t rest at the bottom. Also be careful to keep it on the lower end of medium — at a higher temperature you risk boiling off the wine (losing alcohol and beverage). The wine has finished mulling when the flavors are fully integrated into the wine, this should take 30 minutes at the very least. You can leave it for a bit longer if the hob is at a low temperature.

Mulled Wine Based on what my friends drink, I get the impression that red wine is a beverage which people tend to get into as they get older. White wine is smooth and sweet, and even the bottom shelf stuff is drinkable. A lot of people find it difficult to get into red, and only being able to afford the cheap stuff makes it more unpalatable. Hopefully I can change that here, and give red the recognition it deserves. If summer is for sangria, mulled wine is totally a winter drink. Standing over the stove and dipping your mug into the mulling pot for a drink makes you look highly sophisticated and a bit edgy at the same time. Plus, it warms the cockles of your heart, and with Wellington’s recent freeze over, it really helps save that heating bill.

Ingredients 1 bottle of red wine - $7 (don’t be afraid to reach for the cheapest bottle you can see) 1 Orange < $1 A couple of pinches of Cinnamon Nutmeg Clove Star Anise (don’t buy it if you don’t have any, it’s quite dear) Ginger 1/2 cup of Sugar - $0.50 2-3 skinned pears - $1 (optional)

If you would like, you can skin 2-3 pears, slice them in half, and place them in the mulling wine. When you have finished the pot of wine, fish out the pears and serve them with ice cream or yoghurt for a tasty dessert. Another option is roasting the mulled pears in the oven at 180 C for 40 minutes. Either dust the pears with icing, sugar and eat it as a sweet snack, or you can hit it with salt or pepper and mix it through a salad (walnuts and blue cheese goes great with this if you’re feeling bougie).

44

Horoscope Brutally honest & highly accurate readings from the stars above.

Aries (March 21 - Apr 19) Nothing more depressing than getting excited over the bank sending you a new eftpos card. You’re a real adult now, this is as good as it gets.

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20) For those Tauri who haven’t dropped out yet, congrats! You’re on your way to joining the workforce where the most exciting thing in your day will be if there’s a sale on a packet of mince at the supermarket.

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22) If you once again are bored on campus, entertain yourself by seeing how much Kendrick merchandise you can count on the abundance of middle class white guys on their way to a commerce lecture.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21) Looking for a freaky time Wednesday night? Crack open a cold one and get spooky with Wellington Paranormal, 8:30pm TV2.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20) Top tip for the next time you get locked out of your house, pick up that inconspicuous rock you hide your spare key under, and break the window! That way you’re in your house quickly, and you get free air conditioning.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21) Drinking game: every time your lecturer cracks a joke to try and be kool with the kidz, hand them a drink, because they need it.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22) Fate of the world getting you down? The stars will allow you to spend one day this week curled up in a nervous wreck over the inevitable demise of the planet, and our apparent apathy to change it.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19) ur cool xD

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) Rather than sit bored by yourself at the back of your tutorials, try introducing yourself to people you antisocial twat.

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18) Need some spice in your life? Put Cayenne pepper on your pillow at night so in the morning you’ll have absorbed it and as a consequence are a more spicy person.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22) If you can count on just one hand the amount of times MyAllocator has crashed on you, the stars are in your favour for this astrological cycle.

Pisces (Feb 19 - March 20) If your nose is as red as a communist countries flag, it’s time to make an appointment with student health you lil Marxist.

LARRIKINS

Horoscope by Ashley Parker, Boggle by Joanna Li, Sudoku by Nathan Hotter, Crossword by Scurryfunge, Larrikins by Anton Huggard, Horoscope illustration by Zoe Gillett

Distractions

BOGGLE

CROSSWORD

F

R

I

E

L

K

A

T

S

Note: words must be at least three letters long, and cannot be proper nouns, abbreviations or contractions.

Eh: 30 Wow: 50 Wtf: 65

SUDOKU

FUN

ACROSS 1 W on the periodic table proves hard to find (8) 5 Carmen, Tosca, La traviata et al. (6) 9 Offer to take a knee (8) 10 Starting small, wee biter got a wee bit (cryptic) (6) 12 Three of one and two of another (4,5) 13 Geologically long, it's a particularly noteworthy period of time (5) 14 Definitely not the same thing as camembert (4) 16 Friends character hears her name (cryptic) (7) 19/21 LKarori fortress whirls light all over the place (cryptic) (7,4) 24 Chef about to take flak sadly for her spicy soup (cryptic) (5) 25 Housing scheme assisting couples earning $180k (9) 27 JFK's least favourite type of knoll (6) 28 Energy provider draws line from North to South (8) 29 Jeff Goldblum got a little bug-eyed in this David Cronenberg horror (3,3) 30 Flightless book publishers? (8)

DOWN 1 Quarrel about Post Office starts a game of basketball (cryptic) (3,3) 2 Found in 24 Across (6) 3 Slow-moving mammal just hanging on (5) 4 English duo who had a hit with A Little Respect in 1988 (7) 6 Baroness Orczy novel, The Scarlet _______ (9) 7 A southerly site to see some seals (3,5) 8 Person who tends and rears sheep.

He-he, rears. (8) 11 To phrase a phase (4) 15 Prepare for parts, maybe in an Eleanor Catton novel (9) 17 Stephenie Meyer's magnum opus; the War and Peace of our generation (8) 18 16 Across lacking formality (8) 20 Rice wine's purpose? (4) 21 Marvel character often seen at the cricket (7) 22 More than two pieces, it's an atoll of 23 islands (6) 23 A good looking chap, he was Aphrodite's lover (6) 26 Take tunnel out of Elon Musk company (cryptic) (5)

Last Week's Answers Across: 2. DREAM, 6. ESSAY, 8. LINK, 10. NOODLES, 13. PARENTS, 14. STUDY, 16. TRIMESTER, 19. BOOKS, 20. DAY, 21. OVER, 22. CITATION Down: 1. BREAK, 2. DEGREES, 3. APA, 4. SPRING, 5. RAMEN, 7. PROFESSOR, 9. LECTURES, 11.

LITERAL MURDER

WORD, 12. DRAFT, 15. DROPOUT , 17. RENT, 18. EXAM

The People to Blame EDITOR Louise Lin DESIGNER/ILLUSTRATOR Ruby Ash NEWS EDITOR Taylor Galmiche SUB EDITOR Sally Harper DISTRIBUTOR Danica Soich CHIEF NEWS REPORTER Angus Shaw FEATURE WRITERS Daniel Smith Liam Powell Katie Meadows

SECTION EDITORS Laura Somerset (Books) Jane Wallace (Art) Emma Maguire (Film) Navneeth Nair (TV) Tom Hall (Food) Priyanka Roy (Theatre) Josh Ellery (Music) CENTREFOLD Robbie Motion @robbie_motion CONTRIBUTORS Grahame Woods, Teri O’Neill, Emma Maguire, Alister Hughes, Courtney Powell, Erin Page, Ruby Govan Gaffney, Marlon Drake, Simran Rughani, Gus Mitchell, Portia Lancaster, Korerotia Williams, Danica Soich, Ruben Kearney-Parata, Phuong Anh Nguyen, Monty Samson, Lauren White, Tom White, Scurryfunge, Ashley Parker FM STATION MANAGERS Kii Small & Jazz Kane

POEM Alice Wheeler

TV PRODUCERS Elise Lanigan & Lauren Spring

NEWS WRITERS Vita Molyneux, Shanti Mathias, Johnny O’Hagan Brebner, Emma Sidnam, Laura Sutherland, Jess Potter, Thomas Campbell, Calum Steele, Kii Small

SOCIAL MEDIA fb.com/salientmagazine T: @salientmagazine I: @salientgram S: salientmag

CONTACT editor@salient.org.nz designer@salient.org.nz www.salient.org.nz Level 2, Student Union Building, Victoria University PO Box 600, Wellington PRINTED BY Inkwise ADVERTISING Josephine Dawson advertising@vuwsa.org.nz 04 463 6982 ABOUT US Salient is employed by, but editorially independent from, the Victoria University Students’ Association (VUWSA).

Salient is a proud member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association.

COMPLAINTS People with a complaint against the magazine should complain in writing to the editor at editor@salient.org.nz and then, if not satisfied with the response, to VUWSA. Read Salient online at salient.org.nz

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