Issue 23 | Confessions Part III

Issue #23

Volume 81

Confessions Part III

“Why I Gotta Be Misogynistic Every Time We Kick It” – 16 The Fine Line of Cultural Appropriation – 20 “It’s Funny Because It’s True!” Bad Memes is Closing Down – 26

EDITOR'S LETTER 3 NEWS News 4 Politics 7 Sport 8 Opinion 9 Interview 10 *News* 12 Informative distractions 13 LETTERS & NOTICES 15 FEATURES “Why I Gotta Be Misogynistic Every Time We Kick It” 16 The Fine Line of Cultural Appropriation 20 “It’s Funny Because It’s True!”

Bad Memes is Closing Down 26 CENTREFOLD 24 POEM 37 COLUMNS Presidential Address 30 VUWSA 30 Super Science Trends 31 PSC: One Ocean 32 UniQ: The Queer Agenda 32 In Our Environment 33 The “F” Word 34 The International Angle 34 The Poo Review 35 REVIEWS Reviews Podcast 38 Films 40 Television 41 Music 42 Food 43 Books 44 ENTERTAINMENT Horoscope 45 Distractions 46

Editor's Letter “Light not Heat” Last week I talked to Gerard, head of student counselling. I really like Gerard. He’s one of the few staff I’ve interacted with who tries hard to engage with student media, and communicate to students. He always makes time for us to try help us understand the situation around student counselling and student mental health. His constant refrain is “I’m trying to bring light, not heat, to the situation”. I respect that.

And every time I speak to him, he checks in on how I’m doing, and pays attention to my answer.

That base level of care is something I admire a lot, and something that I can see would be beneficial in everyone’s interactions with each other.

We talked for over an hour, about the whole halls-asking-students-toleave-after-a-suicide-attempt-thing. It was emotional. He nearly cried. I nearly cried.

I’m really grateful to Gerard for talking to us. The level of gratitude I feel is a little hard to explain, unless I give you some background on the University Comms department, and how the uni works with student media.

So let me tell you about how we report on stories that are to do with the University. Every time we hear about something going on, whether it’s about RA training or getting a Queer Support Coordinator, we have to send all the questions to the Comms department. We’re not allowed to approach lecturers or staff asking them for comment. If we do, we get a “sorry we’re not allowed to talk” from the staff member in question, and a stern rebuke from Comms.

So, if we email Comms asking to talk to a specific staff member, all they have to do is say “no”, and that’s the end of that.

And last week, that’s exactly what happened. I emailed Comms to ask if I could talk to Gerard about the “responding to suicidal behaviour by students" policy.

Within the hour, they replied. “No you cannot.”

And that was the end of that. I felt frustrated. Like everyone, I just wanted answers.

So when Gerard called us the next day, saying that he was happy to talk, I don’t know what magic he had worked to get Comms to change their mind. But I

was happy for it. I, too, wish to bring “light not heat” to a situation.

Gerard said a colleague of his reckons that NZ’s increasing suicide rate can be directly attributed to increased media reporting on suicide, and our current attitude that suicide is something that needs to be “talked about”. Nothing concrete, no hard evidence.

But the reasoning, he said, was: you make it sound like the system’s broken, and people who already feel bad about things will just think that it’s hopeless. And then the people who are doing good work, counselling, will feel like they’re getting hated on, and quit.

But at the same time, we need to talk about it. Otherwise how are things gonna change?

Maybe the way to do it isn’t to focus on the problem, but on the solution. That’s hard, with something like mental health.

There are so many facets, and no one knows all the answers. But it’s doable. Change the conversation so it’s about wellbeing, about care, about the things that bring happiness and fulfillment, and how to get more of that.

We could change all our conversations to focus on what we could do better, instead of bitching about what sucks.

I get that we and Comms work inevitably in opposition. Their job is to protect the University’s reputation, and our job is to expose the dirt. That’s what you’d see if you look at the negatives.

But in a sense, we’re also working together. All we both want is a better university, after all. And if we can communicate well, and bring each other greater understanding of what’s going on, well that’s looking at the positives. That’s something we can strive towards.

I can envision a university where everyone on staff is as open and as communicative as Gerard. Where, if we don’t like something that the uni’s doing, they explain to us why it’s the way it is, and we can work together to figure out how it could improve.

LOUISE LIN Editor

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The News MONDAY 8 OCTOBER 2018

Prison Laundry: Spin Cycle Over SHANIT MATHIAS for Weir House, Campus Services, and Human Resources in 2015.

In May 2016, the University said that they had stopped using the services of Arohata Prison.

However, further reporting by Salient revealed that Weir House and Joan Stevens Hall were still using prison laundry services during Trimester Three of 2016-17.

In August 2018, Salient used the Official Information Act to ask the University if the prison contracting had continued.The University originally stated that “the University does currently contract the laundry services of Arohata Prison... nor has it done so in the past”.

However, when we asked the University for clarification, directing them to the 2015 Salient article, a spokesperson confirmed that “the University has contracted Arohata Prison for laundry services in the past”. They apologised for the confusion caused by the “wording” in the previous response.

They also confirmed that the last time that the University had used the prison laundry services was on 1 May 2017.

A spreadsheet seen by Salient under the OIA show that in the period between 12 January 2012 and 1 May 2017, the University paid the Department of Corrections nearly $6000 for laundry services. Over 1000 different transactions were carried out. Services were used more during the summer trimester, when halls provide fully made beds to groups staying over the summer, as well as bath mats and towels.

Victoria University has stated that they have stopped contracting Arohata Prison’s laundry services. The Department of Corrections have also confirmed that the practice has ceased, although they could not confirm the date.

When asked why the University switched services, Mark Loveard, the University’s Chief Operating Officer, said that “We sought tenders for the laundry service, which resulted in us contracting with a different provider”.

A shirt costs 90 cents to wash with the Department of Correction’s services. A coat or a blanket costs $1.40. In comparison, at local dry cleaner, a shirt costs $6 to wash, and a coat costs $20-$30 to wash.

Prisoners are usually paid between 20 to 60 cents an hour for washing laundry.

A media spokesperson for the Department of Corrections said the 20-60 cents isn’t a salary or wage, but a “Prisoner Incentive Allowance”. It’s used to “encourage prisoners to take part in activities that we know help with their rehabilitation and reintegration”.

In 2017, Victoria University acknowledged that an “informal historic agreement that was never recorded in writing” had existed between the university and the Department of Corrections, who contract the services out to Arohata Prison, since the late 1990s, to use labour from the prison for laundry services.

Salient first reported that the prison was washing laundry

We’re Here, We’re Queer, and the Uni (Finally) Cares EMMA MAGUIRE mean there is finally dedicated support for our LGBTQIA+ community”, and it is a “big step forward for student wellbeing in our community”.

Otago University has had a Queer Support person for around fifteen years; they are a key member of their student support team. The role is employed by OUSA, making it somewhat independent from the University. They work with departments on policy changes, restructuring, lecture content, and can raise issues that students are experiencing. Otago also provides a permanent queer space for students, and has a queer resource library. Other universities around the country provide similar support.

Ex-Uni Q President, and current University Council member Alexandria Mark transferred from Otago to Wellington after one year of uni. Mark was shocked to find that Vic had so little resources for its LGBTQIA+ students.

At long last, Victoria University has decided to add a Queer Support Coordinator to its staff. This job will be advertised from next year, and the University hopes to consult with queer students around the scale and mentorship that the role will provide.

According to Pam Thorburn, Director of Student Academic Services, the role will be responsible for: raising awareness, developing resources, providing support for the UniQ executive, and supporting members of the LGBTQIA+ community at Victoria. Finer aspects of this role are still up in the air.

“We want to ensure that our University is a safe and inclusive environment for students of all gender and sexual identities,” said Thorburn.

UniQ Victoria have said that they are “pleased” with the “long overdue” creation of this role. “We look forward to working with the QSC when they are appointed,” they said.

VUWSA president Marlon Drake said “this role will 4

NEWS

MONDAY 8 OCTOBER 2018

NZUSA Sells Office, Escapes Debt TAYLOR GALMICHE Dick pics, suspended contracts, resignations, and payouts…

It hasn’t been the easiest year for New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA), but the union is coming out on top.

They've sold their office shares, escaping the stifling clamps of deficit to “ensure that future students were not deprived of a voice fighting for them at a national level,” according to NZUSA President Jonathan Gee. The sale of the office means that NZUSA is no longer in debt.

The student union will move from level 3 of 354 Lambton Quay to the 8th Floor of Education House on Willis St, a few doors down from the Tertiary Education Union.

“We’ve had a long history of sharing common goals with the TEU, so ultimately this is a positive and strategic move for NZUSA,” said Gee. National Secretary of TEU Sharn Riggs said that sharing a floor means “we can easily coordinate lobbying plans and align our messages so that in seeking to improve the working conditions for staff we are also improving the learning conditions for students, and vice versa”.

NZUSA advocates for the common and collective concerns of students. The union has seen consistent financial hardship since Voluntary Student Membership became law in 2012.

That year alone, revenue from student associations dropped $271,000.

Earlier this year, senior staff member allegedly sent a dick pic to three employees. The employees soon resigned, and the scandal caused the organization to forfeit a $1.4 million dollar contract with ACC to combat sexual violence.

With NZUSA’s obvious need for bail-out, VUWSA voted to give an advance payment of $22,750 of their 2019 levy

this past May. Otago University Students’ Association, Lincoln University Students’ Association, Massey University Student Association, and Albany Students’ Association followed suit.

NZUSA was still desperate for money. In July, the organization put out a plea for donations from alumni.

At the end of the 2018 academic year, NZUSA has channeled a bit of Kiwi initiative and taken matters into its own hands, with the National Executive making the final call to move office.

Student Association Presidents stand behind NZUSA’s move.

“All Students’ Associations manage very tight budgets, and finances are always a challenge. Here at AS@U we are glad that NZUSA is now in a better financial position to continue their hard work as the national student voice, because it is an important part of student life,” said Karla Davis, Acting Student President of Association of Students at UCOL. Regarding this year’s challenges, Gee said “we’ve achieved a great deal for them – achieving a $50 increase in student financial support, getting student mental health on the national agenda, and free fees to name a few”.

Caitlin Barlow-Groome, Otago University Students’ Association President, agreed that “students need to know that despite NZUSA’s challenges this year we’ve achieved a great deal for them… People constantly take the lobbying work NZUSA do for granted”.

Gee acknowledged that “it’s only been with the help of members, alumni, community leaders, and like-minded organisations that we’ve been able to endure through the challenges we’ve had this year”.

Next year NZUSA will celebrate its 90th birthday.

“Internally, I’m working on our budget and structure to ensure that our organisation is future-proofed and ready to continue fighting for students for another 90 years, at least,” said Gee.

Residential Advisors to Receive More Training and Support in 2019

saying that the training was not long enough.

The training is to include “in-hall training and a wide range of combined training sessions”. Green mentioned that “the schedule remains flexible and we are open to ideas from the RAs”.

VUWSA President Marlon Drake said that "the University has acknowledged they got it wrong.”

“We've been pushing them hard on this one,” he added.

“It's a really good example of strong partnership. Thank you to all the RAs who got in touch with us and gave us the ability to advocate for them".

Green said that the training period will focus on “greater depth in the subject matter”.

Two RAs, we’ll call them Sid and Nancy, told Salient that the content of these trainings was relevant to what they have experienced in the role so far, although more practical in-house training would’ve been more beneficial to them personally.

Nancy stated that the current training was the perfect length of time needed, as they got the last week to themselves allowing them to begin “preparing for the residents… like calling them and putting decorations on their floor.”

Sid however, believed the training wasn’t long enough.

“We didn't get the chance to get to know each other well enough as a team.”

He added “unfortunately no amount of training is going to prepare you for some of the stuff you face as an RA”.

JESS POTTER Victoria University has confirmed that they will increase the length of Residential Advisor (RA) training in 2019, up to 4 weeks. The training will be completed in time for the RAs to have two days’ break before students move in.

Salient reported in April this year that RAs have voiced multiple concerns about the training time, which decreased from five weeks to three weeks in 2018. RAs had said that they felt ill-prepared to deal with critical incidents. The changes to training followed a review in July 2017, which found that the “key role of RAs is to engage students in community life, not to manage issues and incidents”.

Cath Green, Associate Director of Campus Living, said the changes were in response to feedback from RAs this year 5

NEWS

MONDAY 8 OCTOBER 2018

Hardship Fund is LGBTQIA+ Inclusive ERIN PAGE Victoria University has updated its Hardship Fund services to include “costs associated with sexuality and gender identity for LGBTQIA+ students”.

The change surfaced shortly after the mid-year break.

“We are improving information available for LBGTQIA+ students in 2019,” said Pam Thorburn, Director of Student Academic Services.

These costs can include a range of financial challenges, including assistance with legally changing your name or getting the correct name on legal documents such as a birth certificate or passport.

Victoria had 21,466 students as of September 2018, and of those, 176 either identified as gender diverse, or elected not to provide gender based information.

“There are particular challenges experienced by LGBTQIA+ students that are broader than just assistance with changing

a name, and we want to enable students to have access to the Hardship Fund where applicable and appropriate,” said Thorburn.

A UniQ spokesperson said “queer and transgender people face high levels of discrimination, which can impact living situations, employment, safety, and mental health. For queer and trans students, these stresses can have a domino effect on studies and tertiary success”.

The most recent Youth2000 survey results, from 8,166 secondary school students, found that gay or bi youth in New Zealand are 3 times more likely to be hurt or bullied at school at least weekly. Transgender identified participants were 4.5 times more likely to report weekly bullying compared to their non-transgender peers.

The UniQ spokesperson said that this move is a “small but important step” for Victoria becoming an “inclusive institution”.

Eye on Exec

believe in choice” said Ella, and the conversation turned to jokes about slavery that made me uncomfortable.

LOUISE LIN

NZUSA Structure Review VUWSA was originally going to talk about this in committee, which would have meant we couldn’t report on it. But they changed their mind five minutes before the meeting. I call that a win for transparency, and I’m happy to share with you the goss.

The New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA) is our “national student voice”.

Now, NZUSA is reviewing their democratic structures and their council. The “option paper” from NZUSA noted that “internally, there has been a greater desire for NZUSA to be more visible, accountable, and member-focused”.

Currently NZUSA consists of all the presidents from student unions around the country. The proposal in the option paper suggested student union representation be increased to two members.

Beth wanted to know how NZUSA plans to increase member engagement. “I just disagree with everything [about that proposal],” she said.

Rhi said she wanted the status quo, but with a revised reporting system.

Ella said the VUWSA president shouldn’t be able to vote on an issue for NZUSA unless VUWSA have voted in favour of it.

The conclusion was “we don’t like any of the options, it doesn’t address our concerns”.

It’s the second to last exec meeting of the year. Rhianna, our Academic Vice President, was chairing, as our trusty prez Marlon had some family stuff going down. For the first time this year, a Random Student was also in attendance. VUWSA meetings are public. Did you know that? I didn’t. Anyway tons of shit went down this week so it’s gonna be a long one, buckle your belts kids.

O Week Bags No one on exec liked having the diaries in there because “it’s a massive waste of paper” and “no one uses them”. The suggestion was to give out something “more practical” i.e. keep-cups, mugs, power banks, playing cards, and bottle openers. In the end they sounded most keen on playing cards, and bottle openers with “don’t guess the yes” written on them.

Your Voice Matters This is a new website VUWSA’s launching. Basically it’s a place where VUWSA asks for your thoughts about what the University is up to. The first thing they’re getting feedback on is the University’s accommodation review, that’s right, the uni is doing a review on how they run the halls and uni owned flats.

So go ahead and tell them just what you think of them halls. www.yourvoice.org.nz.

Name Change VUWSA is submitting against it, and Tam said the submission “could be powerful because Chris Hipkins is a former VUWSA president”.

If the name does get changed, VUWSA is trying to decide if they should become UWSA, WUSA, SAW, or stay VUWSA. They’re gonna ask for student feedback, so stay tuned.

Getting the Uni to Get Fair Trade Certified Ella, our Wellbeing and Sustainability Officer, said that Vic Development Society are trying to get the uni to be Fair Trade Accredited. Vic Dev are doing a letter writing campaign, and want VUWSA to write a letter to the uni as well.

Ella said that last year Vic Dev did so much hard work to try get the uni fair trade but just “got stamped on” at the senior leadership level.

“What’s so different about this time?” asked Jack, our treasurer.

“They think student pressure is the way to go” said Ella.

“Oh like the name change. Right.” said Jack.

Lars, who is from Rostra, the Vic Politics Society magazine, asked why the non-fair trade option was still available. “We

The Random Student was asked to leave because the meeting went into committee. He left, saying “what am I even doing here?”

The meeting ended with a vigorous debate about the Bird of the Year. One person, who shall remain unnamed, stated their support for kerurū. Beth responded “you’re just swayed by the most well-funded media campaign”.

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Politics MONDAY 8 OCTOBER 2018

Political Round Up National MP Jami-Lee Ross Steps down Front Bench MP Jami-Lee Ross has retired from shadow cabinet duties due to health reasons.

Mr Ross handed in his portfolios of Transport and Infrastructure to National Party Leader Simon Bridges last Tuesday.

Neither he nor Bridges confirmed how long he would be away from Parliament.

Simon Bridges confirmed that Mr Ross putting himself on leave was not in relation to the leak regarding Mr Bridges’ travel expenditure, and was surprised at Mr Ross’ request. “You don't always know everything that's going on for what are personal, sensitive, perhaps embarrassing issues.”

Winston Peter’s Values Bill Deputy Prime Minister Winston Peters has expressed that he would like a bill to be introduced to the house which would insist that migrants hold NZ “values”.

Some of these values include respect for gender identity, sexual orientation, freedom of religious choice, and a commitment not to campaign against alcohol consumption.

Mr Peters stated that the main reason behind his party introducing this bill is to stop the mass exploitation of migrant workers and Indian students. "If they're coming into the country, then they should be asked before they actually sign up, 'do you understand what it entails?'”

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said the Labour Party would not be supporting the bill if it comes to the house.

Jacinda’s Week in the Big Apple Jacinda Ardern arrived back in New Zealand after being away in New York for a week of bilateral meetings, speeches, and exercising a bit of diplomomatic repartee.

Monday: There was a significant amount of media fuss with Ardern’s baby Neve Te Aroha making an appearance at the Nelson Mandela Peace Summit.

Ardern also appeared on The Today Show, a morning news and talk show with around 5 million daily viewers.

Tuesday: Ardern engaged in a bilateral meeting with Spanish PM Pedro Sanchez, whom she ended up swapping phone numbers with.

Wednesday: The youngest and oldest world leaders shared the stage at the Bloomberg Business Forum, with Jacinda Ardern and 92 year old Malaysian PM Mahathir Mohamad being interviewed about their leadership. She also made

an appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

Thursday: Ardern made her formal address to the UN General Assembly.

With New Zealand being so far down the list, the audience was pretty piddly, and the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing into Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh was happening at the same time.

Friday: She had very little to do on Friday, most of the time was a wrapup with final media interviews being conducted.

- Thomas Campbell

The Party Line

New Zealand First may seek a law change to force migrants and refugees to sign up to a set of core Kiwi values.

The Respecting New Zealand Values Bill would require new migrants to respect gender equality, legal sexual preferences, freedom of religion, and a commitment not to campaign against alcohol consumption. Should New Zealand have the right to force Kiwi values onto migrants? Where should we draw the line?

ACT ON CAMPUS While ACT supports the idea of ensuring migrants entering New Zealand share our values, we don't believe a party like New Zealand First are the right people to draft this sort of legislation without resorting to xenophobia. We believe this could be abused by those with nefarious intent to keep entire groups of well-meaning people from entering the country. Also, considering Winston Peters has voted against homosexual law reform, civil unions, marriage equality, tolerant alcohol laws, and child abuse prevention, we don't believe he could even pass his own "Kiwi values" test!

VICNATS The Young Nats believe that migrants, by their very nature of being immigrants, already both embody and enrich the values of New Zealand. The idea of working to better your life and embracing everyone’s views and traditions are all apart of what makes New Zealand a fantastic multicultural country. If anything we consider the remit passed by the New Zealand First conference to go against the very notion of what it means to be a New Zealander. For 25 years New 7

Zealand First has pushed xenophobic, agest, and homophobic policies. They pushed for immigration numbers to be slashed in the last election, the increase of the drinking age, and Prime Minister Winston Peters voted against Homosexual Law Reform, Civil Unions and Gay Marriage. As such the Young Nats would like to invite New Zealand First to leave their values in the 1840s and join the 21st century.

- Grahame Woods VICLABOUR "There needs to be a question about who is deciding what “Kiwi values” are and who decided that those who are coming from elsewhere do not already hold these values. Will they make everyone sign this, or will it only be people of a certain religion or country? It feels as though it will be targeted, based on prejudice.

There are many people who already live in New Zealand, who were born in New Zealand, who do not prescribe to the values listed. There are even people sitting in Parliament who don’t subscribe to these values. The current and previous leader of the National Party voted against marriage equality and the same Party voted against Jan Logie’s domestic violence bill, clearly showing their stance on legal sexual preference and gender equity. There are many campaigns in New Zealand to combat our harmful drinking culture, why is it only an issue when migrants also campaign against it? This bill sounds like a justification for racism, xenophobia, and Islamophobia and a discriminatory excuse to not allow refugees into the country, when they are of no threat in the slightest to New Zealand or our values."

GREENS AT VIC How does Winston interpret “New Zealand values”? However Winston wants to. Plenty of Kiwis don’t have respect for gender equality, religious freedom, or New Zealand law. Maybe we should put this test to everyone, not just migrants, and exile anyone who fails? We already have a system in place to ensure that if someone violates a value that we hold to be important enough, they are punished. They’re called laws.

Migrants are already required to obey them. Winston is talking about denying refugees entry into the country. Is it really worth letting people die to uphold “New Zealand Values”?

Sport MONDAY 8 OCTOBER 2018

Serena was Wrong, and Right JAMIE DOBBS

W

firm to the rules, even for such male tennis royalty as Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic, attests to his personal lack of gender discrimination.

However, as Billie Jean King went on to note, regardless of how Serena conducted herself, there is still underlying sexism within tennis. Male players are often granted a greater degree of leeway. Former World No. 1 Andy Roddick tweeted out that despite the disagreements he's had with chair umpires over the years, he never got dealt as severe a penalty as a game deduction. Novak Djokovic too has regularly been cited as firing up at chair umpires, yet has not received greater than a point penalty. In Serena's case, this was a major final, where the rules are more rigidly upheld. But the excessively harsh nature of the full-game penalty is underpinned by lingering gender discrimination.

Unfortunately media need to take some responsibility for driving this train of gender inequality. You only have to trawl through the top sports channels on YouTube, or the most respected sporting publications, to feel as though the classic James Brown line, "This is a man's world", is echoing in the background.

It may not be right, but the harsh reality is that male sport is the most followed, the most consumed, and garners an astoundingly imbalanced degree of funding — something fuelled by more extensive media coverage.

There also appears to be a vast double-standard in the language used to describe male and female behaviour. Let's say a male football player hurls abuse towards a referee.

He’s often deemed as “displaying passion” or that “tensions are flaring”. Their actions of protest are seen as an admired display of pride and passion. In Serena’s case, some deemed her actions as unnecessarily “aggressive”, or “inappropriate”.

The latter may well be true. However, why is it that male athletes don't suffer the same condemnation? As Billie Jean King poignantly put it, "Because men are outspoken when they stand up for themselves, and women are looked at as hysterical".

Despite Serena's lack of judgment in how she went about her protest, she was right about one thing: sexism is still rampant throughout contemporary sport. Altering most people's implicit preference towards watching male sports may be a long-term venture which requires a healthy dose of patience.

But the media have a significant responsibility in portraying female sport and fostering a culture which encourages gender equality. Serena may not be perfect, but I challenge you to find any athlete who is.

Regardless of gender, let's just appreciate greatness when we see it.

ho are some of the greatest athletes of all time?

Michael Jordan, Muhammad Ali, Roger Federer — the usual clichés? Fair enough. These individuals have redefined what it means to play sport. But there's a fundamental flaw in this list. These athletes are all male. So how about the women?

Sport is so often compared with the ancient practice of gladiatorial fighting. The endless depictions of athletes as these heroic gladiators, their field or court made an arena.

These juxtapositions pervade the rhetoric of modern-day sport.

But, this chauvinistic gladiatorial spectacle was excessively male-orientated. We're no longer in a time where the closest thing to hearing Travis Scott was a bloke named Balbinus who played the lyre at supper. Yet, this grossly imbalanced gender hierarchy still permeates modern-day sport.

Let’s talk about Serena Williams. You see, Serena's special.

She's a 36 year-old African American tennis player who holds the most number of major tennis titles among any active male or female player. She’s the current highest earning female athlete across the globe. Accolades aside, she was a kid from Compton who defied the social constraints and stigmas surrounding black and female athletes.

She has reshaped what it means to succeed at the elite level for either gender.

So, when Serena lashed out at an umpire during the most recent US Open women's tennis final, embroiling her debate with the greater concern of sexism within the game, it didn't exactly fly under the radar. Upon receiving subtle coaching gestures (prohibited at the Grand Slam level), chair umpire Carlos Ramos warned Serena. When she received more gestures, Serena was penalized by one point. Serena responded angrily. She felt victimized and accused of being a “cheat”, but also seeing this penalty as a reflection of the sexism which pervades tennis. Serena maintained that she wasn't receiving coaching. Upon throwing her racquet shortly after hitting a bad shot, she was penalized another point. The third strike came when Serena continued to argue with chair umpire Carlos Ramos, which resulted in the deduction of a whole game — an incredibly rare occurrence in tennis.

The fallout from such a high-profile incident has garnered questions around the disparity between treatment of women and men in sport. Consensus holds that Serena didn't handle herself in an appropriate way. I agree. Gender equality ambassador, tennis icon, and founder of the Women's Tennis Association, Billie Jean King, noted that Serena "was out of line. No one's saying she was a good sport". Although he maybe could have showed a greater degree of reverence and empathy, Ramos was doing his job. His reputation for sticking 8

Opinion MONDAY 8 OCTOBER 2018

Beyoncé; Secularism and Freedom Here in Aotearoa

T

TE PAEA HOORI this concoction that screams “potent” to me. Rather it’s the sheer magnitude of wealth and power that comes with a congregation of thirty-something thousand.

A survey of news headlines confirmed I wasn’t the only one reading this as somewhat of an omen. Australians are also eager to see how Morrison’s particular brew of scripture, power, and influence will fare. Australia, like New Zealand, is accustomed to fairly agnostic political figures. The most fear and apprehension comes from minority groups — and one month in, it would appear, rightly so. Morrison’s lack of support for same-sex marriage and notable involvement with Australia’s harsh border control policies suggest his biblestudies might be heavy on the “thou shall not lay with another man” passage, and light on the “Good Samaritan” type tales.

This would be far less concerning of course, if he wasn’t the figurehead of a de facto congregation of 24 million.

Meanwhile, the United States shows no sign of movement towards secularism and rather continue to debate more feverishly over what a Christian government looks like. Trump’s 2016 Election Campaign reminded us that to many Americans, a Christian governments looks “white”. As the ghoulish but all too familiar face of prejudice-disguised-as-faith once again rears its head, further internal conflicts arise. Religious institutions, from small village parishes to the aforementioned mega-churches, are enlisted into contributing to the “culture war” that rages between traditional and revisionist attitudes.

When it comes to choosing a direction for American morality, the overwhelmingly-Christian nation are plenty busy collectively asking themselves: What Would Jesus Do? As I stare at the never ending array of tabs open on my desktop with the words “evangelical politics”, “culture war”, and “fundamentalism” splattered about, it dawns on me: perhaps the real reason the accusations against Mrs. Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter didn’t garner much of a response is merely because the crowd is preoccupied. The last few years of global politics could be summed up fairly well as a collection of moral panics overlapping with just regular panics, as we all try to put our heads down, focus on our meme-based coping mechanisms, and remember that history is one giant compilation of contentious times such as these. Kimberley Thompson’s talk of “spells” seem like light reading comparative to the overwhelming and oversaturated realm of global events.

Maybe we would care if Beyoncé lived in a town as small as Salem. Maybe we would care if witchcraft was still considered the most pressing threat to conservative values. Or, maybe if this was the seemingly carefree times of 2015, there would be time for witch-hunting. But right now, sage and tarot cards feel like the least of our problems.

his week marks the spookiest (and best) month of the year. Despite the insistence of my friends that Halloween “is not a real holiday”, it remains undoubtedly my favourite annual festivity. Maybe it’s because I’ve indulged in one too many Tim Burton films. Maybe it’s due to its synonymity with “Basic Bitch” culture — a reclaimed slur I will die defending. Or maybe it’s because I’ve sunk more money than I care to admit into a lingerie collection that only Armageddon and Halloween afford me the opportunity to wear out in public. Whatever it is, as soon as that calendar flips to October you can guarantee my manicure will be black, my lattes will be pumpkin-spiced, and my makeup will be significantly vampier.

In a suitably timed manner, accusations recently started circulating that Queen Bey may be a witchcraft practitioner.

These allegations come from Beyoncé’s former drummer, Kimberley Thompson, who filed a restraining order against the singer on the grounds of “extreme witchcraft”. While a hundred or so years ago this may have been cause for a moral panic, this news was widely greeted with either dismissal or amusement.

This could be in part due to the rebranding — or perhaps reclamation — of a number of Halloween motifs. Memes were able to turn snakes into adorable “sneks” and “dangernoodles”. Cute photos of spiders surfaced to show us that perhaps they were just fluffy, big-eyed, misunderstood friends. And witches became the unofficial patron saints of feminism, queer culture, and the empowerment of sex-work. It doesn’t feel that long ago that my Catholic primary school held a PTA meeting warning parents not to expose their kids to the sacrilege that was Harry Potter. But witches have had a lot of good press since then. The nineties and naughties saw Hocus Pocus, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Charmed, Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Willow Rosenburg, and the Broadway musical Wicked. There was no shortage of endearing and loveable witchy wāhine to popularise cauldrons, broomsticks, and autonomy for women.

The allegations against Beyoncé may not have spurred a Salem-esque response as they would have historically — but globally there is no shortage of relics that stink of puritan fundamentalism.

Over in Australia, in a trend that looks like an extended game of musical chairs, they recently welcomed in a new Prime Minister: Scott Morrison. It was soon revealed Morrison belongs to an institution far more spine-chilling than American Horror Story’s latest season — a megachurch. I know my aversion to organisations such as these could be easily misinterpreted as dogmatic atheism. But religion isn’t the ingredient of 9

Interview MONDAY 24 SEPTEMBER 2018

Uni Council Candidates: What They Do, What They’re Paid JOANNA LI When I asked my friends what they thought the student members on the uni council did, I was met by a solid 10 seconds of silence and blank stares. Then three very confused, very unsure responses: “They get elected… what happens after that?”

“Aren’t they in hot water because of the name change or something?”

“Don’t they just fuel angry posts on the Vic confessions page?”

The elections for student members on the uni council are never as widely publicised as the VUWSA elections, and generally, the vibe is more institutionalised and politicised. Current rep Isabella Lenihan-Ikin says that “sometimes, it’s like being an MP, and our meetings can be long, and pretty boring for some people”.

Council meetings are 6 hours, Committee meetings are 3 hours, and there’s 300-400 pages of material to read beforehand.

Yikes.

Last year, roughly 15% of students voted, and rumours have it, the high voter turnout was due to students thinking they were voting for VUWSA exec in the first place.

uni gets shit done. Basically, whoever’s on the Council has power to make things less crappy.

There’s twelve members, including the Chancellor, the ProChancellor, the Vice-Chancellor, two staff members, and two student members.

Student Council members are paid $20,000 a year to sit on the council, the same as all other council members with the exception of the Pro-Chancellor ($25,000) and the Chancellor ($40,000). These fees are determined by the Minister responsible for tertiary education, currently Chris Hipkins, who also is responsible for appointing four of the members of the council.

Under the Education Act 1989, members of the University Council are “legally required to act in the interests of the institution as a whole”. So even if a member was appointed by and for a particular group, their allegiance is first to the university.

Student members aren’t supposed to represent the views of the students – they’re a member of the Council with a student perspective.

In 2015, only 5% voted, and in 2016 only 7%.

Student council member Alexandria Mark says that “[Student reps] need to be aware that they might have to make hard decisions they won't always be popular for.”

The University Council is the governing body of the university.

Their responsibility is basically to make decisions to ensure the

“They’re full members of Council and they have a responsibility to fulfil their duty to the University.”

Who's Running for the 2019 Position?

Hassan Tariq

Hugo Lawrence

Pengfei Liu

Francis Liu

3rd year PhD Computer Science From Pakistan

3rd year law student Law and Maths From Nelson

3rd year PhD in Finance From Xi’an, China

Master of criminology in 2010 Currently studying Management Studies

10

NEWS To you, what does the role of student member on the University Council mean?

MONDAY 8 OCTOBER 2018

accountability documents and negotiation. I know how to show delivery against the planned strategies. I’ve been at Vic for so many years, and I’ve seen lots of changes, so my experience in the governance system means I want to make change.

Hassan Tariq: It depends agenda to agenda, but I think the primary role is to present the student perspective on issues, whether it’s academic structure, or fees, or anything else.

The University is not just run by staff, it’s also run by students, because students are part of uni, and whatever they think will have an effect in the end.

What experience do you have in interacting with the higher management?

Hassan: I’ve been at university for 10 years now, as a student, as a faculty member in Pakistan, and now as a student again.

When serving as a faculty member, my department had 3000 students, for which I was advisor in class scheduling, exam scheduling, and extra curriculars. I know that there are politics involved at each level, but those politics don’t benefit students at all.

Hugo Lawrence: It should be about representation, because really, the students make the University, and the uni is only as good as its students. There’s a disconnect between the decisions that the council is making and what the students thought – the student member should be the one to bridge that.

Pengfei Liu: They’re supposed to be the link between the student association and the University council, so they need to receive feedback from students and make sure that VUWSA and PGSA are updated about significant changes from the council.

Hugo: I’ve had experience at high school being a student rep, so I have an idea of how boards work generally in capacity.

I’ve also been to several governance training courses.

Pengfei: Honestly, I do not have experience in interacting with the higher management. However, I am confident about my skill to learn new things and I can familiarise myself with the working style of the University Council very quickly. Hopefully, my enthusiasm and persistence can make up for the lack of experience.

Francis Liu: Our job is to make decisions that will affect the uni through the lens of the student. Often the people sitting on the council are working at a very high level, and they’ve been doing so for so many years that they no longer have any idea what is actually needed. The student member needs to acknowledge the gap, and be practical for students. It’s not a student association, it’s a governance board.

Francis: Interacting with higher management is my day to day job. I am a senior strategic advisor for the Ministry of Primary Industries, so I’m constantly in liaison with the Chief Executive of MPI and the board and managers.

Why did you decide to run for this position instead of the much more popular and publicised positions on the VUWSA exec?

Hassan: I’ve actually run for VUWSA Academic VP the last two years, but have yet to be successful. I will definitely keep on trying though!

What’s the one thing you think is most important to push for change on?

(We asked this question really last minute so it’s not Francis' fault they didn’t respond!)

Hugo: The VUWSA positions appealed less to me because I’m more into governance than advocacy. I’ve flatted with a lot of people involved with VUWSA, and they work really hard but often struggle to get big decisions across the line. The board affects change more directly.

Hassan: Subsidised and cheap student accommodation.

Hugo: Mental health, but unfortunately this is often outside of the 'governance' ambit of the University Council. Within the governance ambit, I want to make education more accessible for all while simultaneously combatting the devaluation of undergraduate degrees. This involves promoting the value of education instead instead of as a means to an end. It’ll be difficult, but I believe it’ll also contribute to improved mental health.

Pengfei: As a PhD student, you’re pretty isolated, so it’s pretty hard for me to win any of the VUWSA elections!

Francis: I’m working full-time, so I don’t have the time to put in the hours needed for VUWSA, but I can commit to the 6 to 8 meetings a year for the University Council.

Why do you think you’re the best candidate?

Pengfei: To build a framework that facilitates regular communication between students and the University. I want to raise awareness before big proposals are made, not after, and aggregate student voices.

Hassan: I’ve been involved in many student platforms, like VILP, Vic Plus, and student wellbeing support groups, which I have given a lot of time to. I want to raise voices at a higher level for change, and make sure that students know their rights.

Hugo: I’m a law student, so I’ve had a bit of experience in policy, and around administrative issues. Everything the council does is mandated by a statute, so I have valuable knowledge on how big bodies are run and how they interact with the law.

As one student member is only 1/12th of the votes, I would vote in line with what the students want, and encourage and explain to other members why they should do the same.

Pengfei: To be honest, I’m not really sure that I’m the best candidate, but I know that I’m not that bad! One needs to show persistence in this role, and I have that. One also needs to have intuition, and I have intuition in the governance sector.

*Voting instructions will be sent to all student emails on Monday, 8 October 2018. Polls closing at 5 pm on Wednesday, 17 October 2018.

Francis: I’m responsible for creating organising strategic goals for the Ministry of Primary Industries, and that includes 11

News

*

*

ONLY THE QUALITY SHIT

The Hypocrisy of the Older Generations EMMA SIDNAM Worldwide, the adolescence of today – so called-millennials – are criticized for being too lazy, materialistic, shallow, and frivolous. In particular, comments about youth spending habits on brunch, technologies, and drugs have been widely publicized.

However, recent studies have shown that the majority of those comments come from over-50s who were, at the time of interview, “drunk as shit”. Whether the drinking or complaining came first is unknown. Salient interviewers took to the streets of Wellington at 7:30pm on a Tuesday to talk to some baby boomers about their perspectives. Local 61-year-old uncle Jacob Thompson commented “the youth of today always want to talk about their feelings and ‘emotional intelligence whatchamacallit’– it’s no wonder they can’t find houses”.

Jacob subsequently asked us to hail him a taxi due to the fact

he wasn’t trusted to drive home alone. Similarly, 58-year-old publicist Maria Lou, projectiling at random intervals, had strong views about university students. “I live next to students,*puke barf* it’s hell. All they do is *puke puke* make business plans while munching on avocados. In my day we worked for others,” she said, green spit sparkling from the corner of her frown. Her eyes were reportedly “glazed af”.

Students in the hub were unsurprised when told about these cases. Second year Anthony Ward said “Oh yeah, almost all of that generation is just drunk all the time. It’s why they get so grumpy at us – because we’re f*cked up but still sober for the majority of the day”. Fourth year law student, Tanya Cassanova agreed. “The babyboomer generation is supposed to be all happy and easy-going, but in reality, they’re just blocking out their pain in other ways. I’m grateful to be where I’m at.”

Bird of the Year 2018: What's the Pecking Order?

Daylight Savings, Level Up

LAURA SUTHERLAND New Zealand’s most anticipated election/reality show/meme war is back for another year, and it’s up to voters to decide who’s at the top of the pecking order. It’s the moa the merrier in 2018, with 61 birds to choose from.

Kererū appears to be at beak performance, leading the flock with over 2000 Facebook followers. Meanwhile, Albatross has been taking cheep shots at Kea. Pūkeko is calling fowl play. Kingfisher fancies himself next in line to the throne, but national icon Kiwi is convinced she rules the roost. Blue Duck refuses to fall between the quacks, still insisting he fits the bill.

Ruru is going owl out on her election campaign, and 2010 winner Kākāriki is green with envy. In a shocking tern of events, Takahē has taken to Twitter to let the world know that Kākāpō is a bad egg.

In owl seriousness, voting for Bird of the Year closes at 5pm on Sunday 14th October. The early bird catches the worm — vote today!

Updates on Kylie Jenner's Baby

SHANTI MATHIAS One Victoria student has taken an innovative approach to improve his class attendance.

Rhett Shannon, a commerce student, once lived semi nocturnally: he rarely woke before noon, and tended to stay up working until the early hours of the morning.

“It’s the illicit connotations of 2am that really get me going,” he told Salient. “On my assignments, I mean.”

Unfortunately, this meant that Shannon did not attend any of his morning lectures or tutorials for the entirety of Trimester Two. However, everything changed with daylight savings.

“I realised: if we can change the time to suit the day, why not change it even more, so it suits me even better?” he said.

When everyone else moved the clocks forward by an hour on 30 September, Shannon moved his clock forward four extra hours. “My phone thinks I’m in Guatemala city, and that it’s yesterday,” he said.

With his classes now starting at 1pm, rather than 8 am, Shannon is able to attend the last two weeks of lectures.

“Some people think I’m just lying to myself, but they’re wrong. I’m much happier this way,” he said.

At time of press, Shannon was going to bed. It was 3am in Guatemala.

Kylie Jenner “shares” her baby Stormi with her boyfriend, according to a report Salient would fervently deny reading if we were ever asked. This raises more questions: does Kylie consider her baby an object that can be shared? Is the baby just an accessory that allows her to #stayrelevant? Salient would like to answer these questions, but that would require us to care, which we emphatically do not.

12

Week in Tweets “hectic times like these really make me yearn for the simplicity of that one year where killer clowns with sharp weapons stalked through the wilderness” - @SamSykesSwears “IT'S THE EXACT SAME LIGHT AS IT WAS YESTERDAY YOU COMPLETE MUNTERS. WHY YOU LET CLOCK NUMBERS BE THE BOSS OF YOUR MIND. DON'T TALK TO ME OR MY CAT WIFE EVER AGAIN.” - @SarahWedde “It’s Daylight Savings time again in New Zealand tomorrow, time to change your clocks, check your smoke alarms and welcome the next Australian Prime Minister” @glenn20sixteen “what the fuck is brockhampton. it sounds like a posh boarding school where some terrible toffy forbidden love gay movie would be set” - @em_ma_maguire “Imagine if Scarfies was set today, with the proctor showing up after half an hour and burning the flat and all its contents down” - @Lukeurmyson

“WARNING! LEAVE NOW IF NOT PREPARED TO ACCEPT NZ VALUES: saying yeah before you express that you're not into something, smoking weed every fortnight, playing Screems from Tha Old Plantation when on the road, pronouncing Taranaki correctly but working on Aro Valley.” -@_star_jokes “every time that new zealand first member says “i’m not racist, but” a fog horn sounds in the southern alps, a siren goes off on lambton quay, and both the living and the dead toss themselves off cape reinga.” - @MorganGodfery “I guess I’m just a simple soul, I’ve gone through all your fancy city recommendations for Bird of the Year but I’m afraid at the end of the day you can’t beat a traditional roast chicken.” - @ Dovil “Popular porn searches in 2018: - a man who listens, - just the movie PADDINGTON, - porn with snapchat filters, - student loan shaming, - casting couch without sex, just the hiring.” -@ pitchjokes

“Things JK Rowling plans to tell us in the coming weeks and months: 1 Hagrid was normal size, everyone else was just really small. 2 Harry had scoliosis. 3 Ron wasn’t ginger, he was strawberry blonde.4 Flitwick was a figment of our imaginations the whole time.” @StatsBritain

Quiz

World Facts

1. A surprised kayaker made news when a seal spontaneously threw what at him, off the coast of Kaikoura?

1. The Tetris theme song was originally a poem composed in 1861 by Nikolay Nekrasov.

7. "Food Neophobia" is the fear of eating new things, and is considered and an eating disorder.

2. Nearly 50,000 people have been left homeless and the death toll could possibly reach the thousands, after a 7.5 magnitude earthquake in which country?

2. It costs less than a dollar to charge a smartphone for a year.

3. The FBI launched an investigation into whom, in response to sexual assault claims that emerged during his nomination for the US Supreme Court?

4. In 1907, 1000 medical students clashed with police over a statute commemorating a vivisected dog.

8. Goats have regional accents and struggle to understand each other.

9. An heir to Red Bull killed a police officer in 2012 in a hit and run, and has been flying around the world to avoid prosecution.

5. Which National MP has taken medical leave for the coming months due to “serious and personal” health issues?

5. Clocks run clockwise because that's the way sundials cast shadows in the Northern Hemisphere.

6. A 2000 year old mummy was accidently shipped to Florida, and a doctor had to issue it a death certificate to avoid paying a federal fine.

World Facts by Courtney Powell, Week in Tweets by Emma Maguire & Quiz by Alister Hughes

10. It's claimed the oldest advertisement for beer is on a tablet dated back to 4000 B.C.

Quiz Answers 1. An octopus 2. Indonesia 3. Brett Kavanaugh 4. Chairman on the Tesla Board 5. Jamie Lee Ross

4. After several controversial events this year, Elon Musk has relinquished what role?

3. Anybody, dead or alive, requires a passport to get into France.

GET THE REAL STORY BECOME A JOURNALIST Find your voice with a Postgraduate Diploma or Master of Journalism.

Study with the best in NZ's only ACEJMC accredited journalism course.

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Letters

Send your letters to editor@salient.org.nz

To Whom it May Concern,

Hey Editor,

The crossword for this week does not line up at all and I was just wondering why that is. I usually look forward to the crossword each week and was saddened to find that both the clues and answers do not match the template.

Just want to state how disappointed I am in the new elect president not thanking her opponent in her victory speech. This is a basic point of decency and while I voted for Tam, I was really disappointed to have watch Beth have to come to her for a hug and acknowledgment by Tam which happened in private. If this anything to go by I will be interested to see how the tension arises in future exec meetings.

Thank you, Distressed reader without a crossword

Regards

Notices

Send your notices to editor@salient.org.nz

Victoria Ancient Theatre Society This week the Victoria Ancient Theatre Society (VATS) is staging Plautus’ The Rope (adapted and directed by Jamie WallaceThexton and Charlie Hann). VATS’ feminist adaptation of The Rope is the tale of Palaestra and Ampelisca, two Wellington sex workers, as they flee Ampelisca's villanous ex-boyfriend, and a cast of interesting characters fighting over a chest that may or may not be stuffed with cash.

The Rope is running from Wednesday to Friday this week, at 7p, in the Memorial Theatre. Tickets are $10 concession (students, unwaged, community services and gold card holders) and $15 full and can be booked by emailing vatsbookings@ gmail.com.

AGM: Join our team for 2019!

We are after committed and enthusiastic volunteers to join the Team Vic Netball Committee for 2019!

Being on committee is an awesome experience, it is a great way to give back to the Vic Uni community, it looks great on your CV AND it counts towards VicPlus!

More info can be found on our: website https://goo.gl/ HR6b7Z The AGM will take place on Sunday 28 October, 1pm-3pm in AM103. We really encourage all #TeamVicNetty members to come along!

Find us on Insta @teamvicnetball or Facebook @teamvic.netball OR email teamvicnetball@gmail.com if you have any questions

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My phone was connected to the bluetooth speaker in the kitchen playing the new Cozy Tapes Vol. II over the sound of a boiling kettle. I don’t often take in all the lyrics from A$AP Mob. They don’t deliver any Deltron 3030 or Kendrick Lamar lyricism that I have to dissect for weeks in between tracks; it's often just songs filled with flexing about cars, jewellery, and women. I often just listen to the beat on songs like these, because I don’t believe the lyrics will change my life or the way I look at women in denim overalls.

The treble in the track is increased and I can hear the vocals a tad clearer. A line by frontman A$AP Rocky rings out:

This article is more than the comments about women in the kitchen.

It’s more than the assumptions of women cleaning and cooking all night and day.

It’s more than the shaming of the sexual prowess of any young woman.

This is article is more than a definition of misogyny.

Instead, it’s focusing on us dudes being misogynistic everytime we kick it.

“My apologies, why I gotta be misogynistic every time we kick it.

It’s date night, and we order in takeaways from your favourite spot because I know you had a rough week. Sweatpants are on and the mood is set. This is probably the time I should put on some Al Green and casually turn up the volume; but tonight is your night.

A candle is lit and your favourite smells of coconut and vanilla lift your mood, accompanied by a gentle Kaytranada mix. I relax as I’ve done everything I can to make a safe environment and tell you to vent.

Every time I visit something's different” The word “misogynistic” is a word I have never before heard in a hip-hop track. I zoned out for the rest of the album and actually thought about that line. Where did Rocky even get the idea to write about misogyny?

Am I misogynistic everytime I kick it with my girl? It’s a word that we hear less and less, but an act I notice more and more.

You start talking about your deep and intimate issues that somehow make me feel uneasy. I’m not twelve and periods don’t gross me out anymore, but for some reason my mind is jittering with mental sweat.

I hurry along the conversation and attempt to finish your sentences. I bring up my phone and start to scroll, just to appear casual and comfortable with the conversation. I start to take snippets of your

Although misogyny is something that is prevalent in our culture today, I won’t be playing the role of the 56 year old tennis mum blaming the “rap music that the kids are blasting today”.

I also won’t play the role of Chad, and scream that men face prejudice too.

16

"Why I Gotta be Misogonstoc Every Time we Kick it" anymore. She uploads something which makes you slightly jealous and angry; something you’ll never fully admit. You call her a slut, and tell a slanderous story about her being an “untrustworthy bitch” when you were both friends. Everyone else in the room is male and inclined to listen, and refuses to argue with you.

The words slut, whore, and bitch are more normalised in that environment, and the young men around you feel more comfortable using those words to describe women like that. You only used those words when you were angry. That doesn’t matter, the damage is already done.

conversation and talk about my day and things I want to talk about. This continues for another 7 minutes. I think you feel defeated and head to sleep.

You sleep feeling unresolved and tense. I can’t sleep because I’m feeling guilty, but comfortable. Waking up the next morning, we have meaningless chatter and I start to wonder if we ever talk about your situations.

I want to hear more about you and your relationships with the outside world, but I realise half way through the conversation that you already let me know. I just don’t take them seriously. This shit feels like teenage fever.

Like many other people who will read this article, you’ll probably define yourself as someone who’s “not a dickhead”, if not a feminist. I know we focus on how to combat rape culture and the negative gender norms women face daily, and somehow we find ourselves in arguments with people who believe “women do it just as much as men”. I don’t have the answers for this, and I cannot challenge or critique a culture successfully.

I analyse this situation more and more as the week goes on. I always have to ask myself if this is misogyny or whether I’m just impolite when anecdotes don’t involve me.

The only person I talk about these sorts of things with is Dayna. She helps me self-critique with love and allows me to vent freely.We’ve been friends for years and we catch up occasionally for coffee or drinks.

Our conversation always end up talking about our love lives or commitment issues. She starts talking about the last guy she was with, gets into raunchy details. My brain tells me to become more aware of my surroundings as I signal her to quiet down her conversation.

Internalized misogyny and subtle sexism are issues which pass us on the bus, at the pub, or on the couch every day. In a casual setting we’re far more relaxed and I don’t want you to feel tense everytime a woman enters the room. Just as I do to myself every time I write, I need to remember I’m not perfect and critique my actions openly. The last thing I want to do is ruin your movie night or your morning brunch out by telling you well done and treating you like a pre-teen.

You’re a grown woman on your way to a degree and a full time job, you should feel just as comfortable as me when we kick it.

Wait.

Why? Why would I tell her to quiet down? Who cares if she’s talking about the last dick appointment she attended? I’d let my male friends talk about their weird and nasty encounters with women loud and proud in a Maccas playground at 10AM. Dayna should feel free to talk about Jason’s game, just as much as he feels free to talk about hers.

There’s a lot of confidence that comes after a selfreflection like this. I can’t end this piece on a happy or sad note, because this is something that we all still battle for every day. This isn’t something we’ve solved at all, and this isn’t something which you’re going to give up. In your endeavour to look out for these signs, I hope you remember the verse and how it ends.

It’s at this point I begin to self reflect. As someone who would define themselves openly as a keeper of human rights and equality between all races and genders, I’m doing a shit job of doing it subconsciously. In professional environments I would never be so rude, but when I let my guard down over some green tea and caramel slice I seem to slip up. Are my misogynist tendencies internalized?

“My apologies, why I gotta be misogynistic every time we kick it Every time I visit something's different and every time I leave you know you miss it”

It’s a school night. You’re scrolling Instagram and come across an old friend you don’t talk to anymore.

Comments on your photos from 2013 are filled with praise and compliments from her, but ever since your disagreement over one guy you hardly talk to her 18

Adam Art Gallery Te Pātaka Toi – your gallery on Kelburn campus

Still looking: Peter McLeavey and the last photograph 6.10.18 – 20.12.18 FREE ENTRY Tuesday–Sunday, 11am–5pm Victoria University of Wellington Gate 3, Kelburn Parade adamartgallery.org.nz

James Nasmyth Back of hand, 1874 woodburytype Collection of Peter McLeavey

The Fine Line of Cultural Appropriation PREYA GOTHANAYAGI

I grew up worshipping a Hindu God called Lord Ganesha. He’s commonly known as "the one with the elephant head". When I was four, I watched my father and others from our community build a temple to him from scratch, and spent many hours praying there throughout my childhood years. I learned his significance in our religion, invoked his name to give me courage during tough times, and felt safe in the presence of his shrine. His name was holy to me, uttered with reverence — anything less felt like the equivalent of taking “the good Lord’s name in vain”, as I was taught not to do in my Anglican school. As I worshipped my god, I learned to show respect for the religions of others, and for the most part, they showed respect for mine.

But I didn't. Because even though it was completely frivolous and a blatant disregard of my culture, heritage, and to a certain extent, my life... at least she knew who Lord Ganesha was.

In a Western country like New Zealand, where minorities sometimes feel ignored and invisible, to be thrown a crumb in the form of acknowledgement of any kind feels like validation. But at the same time, it also feels like a kick in the gut — you can tattoo my god on your skin, and you’ll appear cool and hip, but you’ll never appear as an outsider like I do.

At the time, I didn’t want to throw a spanner in the works of our relationship, so I kept my anger silent, and watched my culture, my religion, used as stamp of hipsterness.

Which is why I was utterly bamboozled when I heard that my white flatmate, not knowing or caring about Lord Ganesha's significance to Hindus, was considering getting a tattoo of him on her arm.

An argument could be made that this is simply the price minorities have to pay to live in this country. Be grateful for breadcrumbs and turn the other cheek, like Jesus, when our own faith is maligned. But surely we can all do better than that? If you want to partake in my culture I'm more than happy to be your chaperone, but to adopt it without acknowledging the historical struggle, or even the current struggle of everyday diasporic kids like me — that feels a little tone-deaf.

"But, just, why?" I asked, completely stunned.

"He looks cool," she replied.

But he's so much more than that, I wanted to scream, and he's not yours to use.

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The Fine Line of Cultural Appropriation Growing up in between various cultures, there were things I learned to be proud of, and things I learned to hide. My mother's cooking was something to be proud of, to share with all my white mates. But my name was shortened — from Preyanka, to Preya. Easier to digest, harder to butcher. I wore saris and paavadas with pride, but desperately tried to get rid of all my body hair and lighten the colour of my skin. There was a way to fit in, I knew, and my "Indian" side sometimes made me stand out in a way that was painful. At 10, kids laughed at my underarm hair. At 11, they laughed when I explained that Indians eat with their right hand because their left hand is reserved for washing our private areas — as if somehow that didn't make logical sense. At 13, I was informed that I "would be quite pretty, if not for the dark skin". At 14, I was asked if my parents owned a dairy (they don't — they own a distribution franchise, a property business, and earn more than I could ever hope to in my lifetime). At 16, I was asked if my accent was real.

bits of raw dough and filling to eat in between batches. The teacher who asked my family to organise a class trip to the temple, so my class could learn more about our religion respectfully. In this environment, it felt like the two parts of me could come together and be whole — no excuses for weird practices, no feeling out of place; I could just be. Living in a space between two different cultures isn’t something I’d wish on anyone. Which is why, for the life of me, I don’t get Hindu religious groups that encompass Western worshippers. And this is where the conversation about appreciation vs appropriation gets muddy.

Hinduism is fantastic, for more reasons than I can state right here. But unlike other religions, it isn’t something you can convert to, it is something you are born into.

As my father told me one day when I was threatening to “quit”, you can’t move in or out, you just are. So “conversion” is a very weird concept to begin with.

However, there is one major group of Hindus across the world who aim to do just that: the Hare Krishna society.

All this, I could handle and brush off, although it gave me a fair idea of my place in this country, and how I should navigate it. But let's fast forward to 2016, where I was cussed out on the street for "taking the jobs of real New Zealanders", despite the fact that that was exactly what I was. And 2017, when my white partner was called a race traitor for being with me. And 2018, where I was told that prospective employers could read my name on my CV and assume that I don't speak English — any chance I could anglicise it? It was a terrible thing that people were still racist in this country, but maybe I could avoid it if I didn’t sound Indian?

ISKCON, or "International Society for Krishna Consciousness", was founded in America by an Indian devotee in the 1960s. It belongs to a sect of Hinduism which believes that Lord Krishna is the one true god, and is unique in being somewhat monotheistic, while most of Hinduism is very much not. Although originally founded by just one man, A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, the movement quickly grew in popularity and spread all over the world — today, there is a small community that worships here in Wellington. They sell affordable food on campus, and the food certainly is very good, but I find their presence quite frustrating.

To see Westerners adopt aspects of the culture I am shamed for belonging to is hard sight to swallow. To experience the proselytizing of what feels like an offshoot of my own religion is even worse — it was all I could do to stop myself from yelling, “I already know!

I know I know I know I know!”

They can take the cultural garments off, but I can't.

But actually, that’s a whole other problem — I’m not Indian. If you sent me back to India, I would be viewed as a foreigner. My family moved from India to Malaysia three generations ago with the British (isn’t it always the British?) to work on rubber plantations.

My parents then left Malaysia, and met in England, where I was born. When I open my mouth, I’m a strange mixture of British and Kiwi, and a whole other amalgamation of the bits and pieces that make up my parents. When you tell me to go back to where I came from, where exactly do you expect me to go?

But my main issue isn’t in the practice of the religion itself, but rather the way Hare Krishnas blur religious devotion with culture. Devotees are given new, Indian names to further their connection with their god, and dressed in cultural clothing. Sometimes, I see them dance down the streets of Wellington barefoot, playing traditional instruments and chanting religious mantras — but as someone who has grown up in the culture that they have adopted, this feels disingenuous and frustrating.

They can take the cultural garments off, but I can't.

They can use their anglican birth names when applying

I’m very grateful for the understanding and enthusiasm people have shown me and my culture my entire life.

The friends who came over to my house and ate my mother’s curry with their hands, and then consequently downed two litres of milk to try and soothe the fire in their mouths. The girlfriends who spent half our sleepovers in a “curry puff production line”, stealing 22

The Fine Line of Cultural Appropriation for jobs, but I can't. They can eventually decide that the Indian life is not for them, but I can't. They have adopted the diaspora I was born into, and I can't help but wonder why.

flatmate and others of her ilk, and I appreciate the respect that Hare Krishnas have for their religion, but I do want to ask about the boundaries between culture and religion, between respect and fad.

Religion is a wonderful thing. Hinduism, in my very biased opinion, is one of the best religions to belong to. To separate it from its founding culture would be a difficult thing, but I do believe that there should be boundaries. Devotion to Lord Krishna is admirable, but is it really necessary to adopt a new name? To parade in the streets singing devotional songs, when even Hindus in Wellington don't do that? I understand that devotees may have been introduced by an Indian into the more cultural aspects of the religion, but that in itself becomes another convoluted question — are there rules around what makes cultural borrowing okay?

I know of Hare Krishna devotees who have left the “lifestyle” as they grew older, and ones who have remained faithful all their lives. I know of Hare Krishnas who have completely adopted Indian culture and proselytize the benefits, but have never been to India. I know of devotees who are quiet and grounded in their faith, but still remain part of the Western traditions they grew up with. I really appreciate the latter, simply because we're not at a stage yet where stereotypes and prejudices are no longer harmful. We don't live in a world where everyone is accepted yet, and it is painful to see the things I was censured for being adopted by people who don't have to take on any of my burden. To me, that is the height of privilege — being able to take the best of both cultures, but not having to deal with any of the hardship.

I don't pretend to be an authority, or have the ability to answer these questions, simply because of my cultural background. All I know is how I feel. I don't conflate the Hare Krishna society with my clueless

That, to me, is cultural appropriation.

“It’s funny because it’s true!”

Bad Memes is closing d own.

roy bad memes?

Did Grant Guilford dest him anyway.

No, but we will blame As I am held at gunpoint forced by both Bad Memes and Salient to write this article, all I can say is one thing: Bad Memes for Suffering Victoria University Teens is, was, and will always be, an absolute shit show. That isn’t a new concept, or even particularly interesting or surprising, all things considered. I mean, it’s called BAD memes for a reason. We’re all suffering Victoria University (RIP) teens here, we understand.

Now you can finally understand a little bit more about the people behind it. Anyone you ever thought was an admin is absolutely not an admin, and everyone running this page is an absolute loser.

we aren’t passing it on to other people. This is it. *Adele voice* “This is the end…”

We have enjoyed advocating for better mental health support, more affordable food, The Truth™, and whatever else we have taken a stand on. They are things we feel very strongly about, which is why 70% of the proceeds from our merch (teespring.com/ stores/bad-memes-vuw) will be donated to Youthline.

We want to support the mental health of students, and if we can’t be here to advocate for it ourselves, we want to make sure that help is accessible for those who need it. We know what it’s like, and we just want to show our support. Also we are poor students and we want some money for pizza thenks.

Bad Memes for Suffering Victoria University Teens was created in March of 2017. It was started by the Top admin, who will be referred to as Geogoly Whool Postrgrad from now on. Geogoly Whool Postrgrad immediately dragged their friend, let’s call them Hairy Styley, into the mess and gave them the job title of “Meme Factory” – which is essentially exactly what they were. There were other admins dragged into this fiasco, but somehow, they managed to escape and live normal lives. The third admin, we will call them Bratney Spare, is a little newer, and was scouted to join the elite meme force at the start of 2018. And so Bad Memes: Infinity War began. Then it changed its name to Bad Memes: The Last Jedi, then Bad Memes: One Direction, then Bad Memes: Bad Hombres, then Bad Memes: Whack Hombres, then when SOMEONE (Bratney Spare) was careless with their phone when they were drunk, it was changed to Definitely Not Bad Memes: Whack Hombres, so people who saw it accidentally knew it had nothing to do with Bad Memes.

The things we have done and seen through our time running the page will stick with us forever. How could we ever forget the Cotton Cannibal (and its second and third instalment)? Rory as B range man?

Fighting with the inferior meme pages of other NZ uni institutions? Being shown in a PowerPoint in a lecture that one time? Pibgeons? Replying to one specific person with only the Haha yes hedgehog?(you know who you are) Dragging Salient whenever possible?

The naming disaster? And whatever the hell else we did, I don’t remember the last three weeks let alone last 18 months.

Anyway, here’s some stuff about us, enjoy it while you can.

Buy some merch teespring.com/stores/bad-memesvuw (please buy all the vic bitch merch and send some to the VC)

Running this page has been a rollercoaster from the start. From watching the page likes go up and up during the day then slow down around 2am-8am when everyone went to sleep, to when Facebook changed its algorithms and none of the posts were getting seen, to now, the end of the page. Also that stage where every meme page was stealing our memes and claiming them as their own so we finally started “watermarking” them.

Goodbye Victoria University of Wellington, Uganda, Melbourne, Singapore, Canada, and whoever else is out there. Respect the pibgeons you encounter, anyone of them could be one of us.

Many thenk and a big YEET,

The Bad Memes Team

We love running this page. It has given us so much joy and anger and memes, and we are sad to be saying goodbye. But we are saying goodbye. We aren’t just saying goodbye to the name and changing it to “Bad Memes for Suffering University of Wellington Teens”,

P.S. We challenge anyone brave (and stupid) enough to start a new page and become our successors.

27

s!

Get to know the admin

Badmin (Bratney Spare) (It's Britney bitch)

• Flunked out of every single paper they ever took • Doesn’t even go to uni • Late to the party • Anxiety actually through the roof • Convinced the HOD that Blackboard gave them anxiety • Never handed in an assignment on time • Likes to cause drama for no reason • Thinks they are better than everyone but no hard proof to back it up • Evidence points to them being a fucking mess

Geogoly Whool Postrgrad (Top admin)

• Power hungry animal with no regard for human life or meme quality • A Morning Person • Banned for making Johny Johny Yes Papa memes • Sends their high school teachers photos of Cory in the House • Hasn’t had a vegetable in three years • Is part of the bourgeoisie because they can afford food from The Lab • Every spelling mistake ever

Wholesome admin

• Is an actual pigeon • Just a real actual real life pigeon • A VERY nice pigeon • So wholesome they left university

Hairy Styley (meme factory)

• Is a fan of Harry Styles (shockingly) • Does not have a proper sleep schedule • Doing a useless degree • Still lives at home • Creates staple memes • Can't drive • A Serial Procrastinator™ • Actually helpful

The silent one

• • • •

Why are they here?

Where did they come from?

Has the chat on mute Genuinely no clue what their group chat nickname is • Doesn’t post or make memes

ins An interview with adm Spare)

Why are you so obsessed with harry styles?

GWP: That’s Harry Styles?? I thought it was Evan Peters.

HS (while wearing a Harry Styles t shirt): Dunno what you are talking about. Never heard of that guy before.

(Conducted by admin Bratney

Why did you create bad memes?

Geogoly Whool Postrgrad: “Because I’m a petty bitch from New Jersey and I live for drama.”

Hairy Styley: “I didn’t.”

Why is bad memes closing down?

GWP: Tired. Graduating. Old. HS: We have put so much into this page that we dream about memes, I cannot have a conversation without including a meme in there somewhere please help me.

How does running the bad memes page as admins work?

GWP: It doesn’t.

HS: Dunno, haven’t found the instruction manual yet.

Is bad memes actually closing down because revive is gone #conspiracy?

HS: We’re full of asbestos.

Why are you so obsessed with pigeons?

GWP: Because I too am a rat with wings.

HS: They constantly hungry, poor, useless, and hard working. Who wouldn’t be obsessed with these dudes?

Explain in words the best meme you ever made GWP: So ur wit ur honey and ur making out. the phone rings and you answer it. a voice says "what are you doing with my daughter!" you tell ur girl and she says, my dad is dead.... then who was phone?

HS: My favourite is the one about the Kirk rush, and it’s four pictures of kim k screaming in a crowd.

Who is the worst admin and why?

GWP: Wholesome meme sister admin is too depressed to be wholesome.

HS: Wholesome admin doesn’t do anything, and yet I am the worst admin no doubt.

28

BE INSPIRED TAKE A CREATIVE WRITING WORKSHOP AS PART OF YOUR DEGREE OR TO DEVELOP YOUR WRITING CREW 256 MĀORI AND PASIFIKA CREATIVE WRITING WORKSHOP Renowned playwright Victor Rodger will convene this summer course. We welcome students who wish to produce fiction, creative non-fiction, plays, screenplays, or poetry.

Applications close 1 November 2018 CREW 258 AND CREW 259 (TRIMESTER 3) IOWA WORKSHOPS From 7 January until 15 February we are offering intensive workshops in poetry and fiction, taught by leading graduates of the famed Iowa Writers’ Workshop.

Applications close 1 November 2018 CREW 350 (2019) WORLD-BUILDING WORKSHOP This course, convened by the internationally acclaimed author Elizabeth Knox, will be ideal for writers interested in fantasy and speculative fiction.

Applications close 1 December 2018

CREW 350 (2019) WRITING FOR TELEVISION Sitcom, series drama, soap, and sketch comedy.

Want to learn how to write a television script? Join Dave Armstrong for this course.

Applications close 1 December 2018 MASTER OF ARTS IN CREATIVE WRITING (2019) Novelists, essayists, scriptwriters, poets, playwrights, memoirists—get serious about your writing. Study at Victoria University of Wellington’s International Institute of Modern Letters.

Applications close 1 November 2018

APPLY NOW FOR TRIMESTER 3, 2018 AND FOR 2019 To find out more about the creative writing courses offered by the International Institute of Modern Letters at Victoria University of Wellington, go to the website.

victoria.ac.nz/modernletters

Columns

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS

VUWSA

MARLON DRAKE

GEO ROBRIGADO

Sometimes you get so caught up talking about mental health and wellbeing you forget your own! I've had a stressful week and have dropped my column, but it’s all good because reprioritizing is all part of good self care. I still love you. And I still love Salient.

I have a weird way of relaxing in between my assignments and exam/test prep. I study languages via the Duolingo app. Weird coz who the heck relaxes their brain with an activity that is using even more brain? But there is something about that owl (the app’s icon) that relaxes me!

My point is not to get you to learn languages (although there are several good reasons to do so), but to highlight the fact that during these stressful days of assessments and tests we need to find an activity that we love to break the monotony of our academic pressures. Whether it is language learning, or singing to your heart’s content in karaoke, or just opening a bottle of beer while relaxing under the sun, always remember to give yourself a break.

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week, and I feel that this week is very aptly placed during a time of great (academic) stress. MHAW is a reminder that no matter how intense our academic workload is, taking time for ourselves should always be a priority. Your VUWSA has been tirelessly continuing the victories we have achieved from The Wait is Over rally last August.

Other student groups are also picking up on it. In this regard, allow me to send my huge shout-outs to the people of the New Zealand International Students Association (NZISA) for successfully holding the first ever International Students Mental Health and Wellbeing Conference on the 8th of September.

I for one face numerous academic stresses: assignments are piling up, exams are coming, and on top of that is the ages-old dilemma that first year law students face: am I going to get into second year?

But when I’m bogged down, I just open Duolingo and shout “Gezellig!”

Doe het rustig aan!

30

Steamed Hams But It’s A Science Column Well readers, you made it, despite my directions.

I hope you’re prepared for another unforgettable column. *ignores deadline for too long, previous heavy research-dependent idea goes up in flames* Egads! My boast is ruined! But what if… I were to co-opt an internet meme and disguise it as an informative science column? Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Delightfully devilish, Gus! *theme music starts* Mitchell with his crazy explanations Salient readers gonna get an education When they hear Gus’s strange pontifications They’ll be humbled in town, tonight!

If you were a TV-addicted youth like me, chances are your first exposure to Aurora Borealis was as something localised entirely within Principal Skinner’s kitchen. In homage to one of the better shitposts in recent memory, I thought I’d do Springfield’s best educators a service with an explanation of the Northern Lights and why they matter.

Aurora Borealis?!

The Aurora Borealis, or the Aurora Australis if you’re in the Southern Hemisphere, is a natural phenomenon that occurs at the poles of the Earth.

Fluctuations in the sun’s magnetic field produce localised concentrations of temperature reduction on the sun’s surface, forming sunspots, which release solar particles out into space in the form of solar wind. These solar particles travel through space and eventually hit Earth’s atmosphere, reacting with oxygen and nitrogen particles and producing light.

From our perspective, this results in dazzling green and purple lights in the skies.

Auroras occur on other planets in our solar system as well, namely on the gas giants Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune, due to their thick atmospheres and strong magnetic fields. Current research is looking into evidence of auroras on exoplanets (planets in solar systems other than our own).

At this time of year? At this time of day?

Auroras occur all throughout the year, but are most observable during winter as the nights become longer in the aurora’s respective hemisphere. They also grow more intense during the solar maximum, a measured increase in sunspot activity that occurs roughly every 11 years.

In this part of the country?

Aurora Borealis has been observed in Canada, Alaska, Norway, Finland, and Russia. Solar particles that would otherwise be deflected by the Earth’s magnetosphere are drawn upwards to the poles where the magnetosphere is weakest, which is why auroras are appear more frequently there.

NASA has conducted numerous research missions on auroras to learn how solar radiation interacts with the planet’s magnetosphere. The Time History of Events and Macroscale Interactions during Substorms mission (or THEMIS) uses satellites to measure the intensity of disturbances in the Earth’s magnetic field in the form of magnetic substorms, how they intensify the auroras, and the different types of auroras that can result. Last year, NASA launched several rockets with scientific instruments into auroras in Alaska to gather live data on how auroras are affected by altitude.

Localised entirely within your kitchen?

No, but their effects can be! Sunspot activity can cause power surges across electrical grids, as well as disrupt radio transmissions and satellite comms.

May I see it?

Yes, and scientists want you to! Researchers have recently taken to calling on citizen scientists (amateur scientists in the general public who aid in research and data collection) to take photos of auroras in their area to provide better regular estimates of the total area of their appearance, or the “aurora oval”. The “aurora chasers” then collect and collate their aurora pics on social media to share them with researchers.

Bonus: favourite Steamed Hams shitpost variant?

Steamed Hams but It’s a Vocoded Version of the Piano Dub. I find it weirdly soothing.

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Columns

PSC: ONE OCEAN

UNIQ: THE QUEER AGENDA

PICSA

ERIN PAGE

PICSA (Pacific Island Commerce Students’ Association)’s theme for its inspirational and networking night was “weaving our future together”.

The main objective was to help inspire and empower current commerce students of Victoria University with Pasifika backgrounds. The night provided opportunities to engage and get amongst prominent Wellington employees, create spaces for attendees to kick start their careers, and also gauge current trends within diverse workplace practises.

Friday evening on the 28th of September, UniQ hosted the inaugural Queer Ball at the Hunter Lounge.

It was a relatively small turnout, but it was awesome to see everyone meeting and hanging out with new people and making some new friends, which we love to see at any event we hold.

This event was deliberately headed by three guest speakers who are experienced employees within their respected firms, in an attempt to provide exposure for our Pasifika students who will one day become leaders within the business industry. Also present at the event were other employees from firms such as the “Big Four”, and past commerce graduates which helped set the tone of what to expect during the event.

Speaking with a few commerce students at the end of the event and receiving some unexpected positive feedback was refreshing and helpful in terms of planning our associations final two events.

By Pacific Island Commerce Students’ Association

We opted to not have a theme, seeing as it was our first ever ball, but not having a theme also meant that everyone who came was free to dress in the way that felt most comfortable to them. On a personal note, this was the first formal event where I could wear what I wanted and knew I’d feel most comfortable in (a suit), and while it might seem like a minor thing, it was a pretty big deal for me.

A big thank you to the Hunter Lounge for having us. A big thank you also goes to all of the people who came to the ball, it was really fantastic to see you all there, and we hope you had a good time. Particular thanks must go to Ace (co-Pres) and Miia (acting treasurer/ secretary) for spearheading the organisation of the ball, it’s been years in the making and it was great to get it off the ground.

UniQ only has one more big event this year, which is our AGM. The exec will go over what UniQ has done this year, and we’ll be holding elections for the 2019 executive, so if you’re keen to be a part of the UniQ exec next year, come along and put your hand up — whether you want to run for Secretary or you want to run for General Exec. We’d love to see you there (*cough* there will be pizza *cough*).

Hope you’re all doing well, this time of year can be super stressful, so remember to take of your lovely selves <3 Erin Page Co-President

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IN OUR DANICA SOICH

laws to protect native fish, albeit one, which protects a fish that has been extinct since 1930. Whitebait are not protected under the Wildlife Act, because the Act doesn’t consider fish to be animals. Perhaps this reflects a lacuna in perspective where our empathy for native fauna extends as far as a birds and reptiles.

The only living freshwater fish that is protected by law is introduced trout; ironically, a chief predator of whitebait. So, for several months the streams of this nation throng with white baiters. But there's is no catch-limit on whitebait and no regulation around commercial sales. There is no data as to how much we are catching and by whom.

John stands teetered on the edge of the Mokau river in Taranaki, tending his hand held net. A rain of insects litters down over the water, which is lined by wooden huts. John lifts up a long mescaline sock, and the net is full of tiny fish no bigger than a hairpin. Gelatinous, full stop mouth, galaxy of stars speckled along their sides. Whitebait season is at its peak, having started on the 15 August and running until November 30.

We are in the midst of a fervent “white rush”, in which whitebait are a sought after delicacy. Just a kg will cost you $110. A tiny hut on a whitebait river has sold for as much as $100,000. This white market has swelled to rise our insatiable appetite for endangered species.

Forest and Bird are calling for a ban on whitebait sales. They cite the general lunacy of having an unregulated fishery for threatened species. Mike Joy has also suggested there should be a ban on commercial sales, recognizing that while many see white baiting as a Kiwi lifestyle birthright, the birthright does not extend to wiping out species. Opponents cry out that monitoring is impractical — there are not enough regulators to wade out among the nets. The truth of this is questionable, considering the efficiency with which we patrol trout. With enough political will, monitoring is indeed possible.

Whitebait are the juveniles of five species of freshwater fish: giant kōkopu, banded kōkopu, shortjaw kōkopu, inanga, and kōaro. These fish belong to the group galaxiidae, so called because of the patterns of their skin. Today, the population has ebbed to the brink of collapse. A recent Department of Conservation report lists the īnanga, kōaro, and giant kōkopu as at risk (the same status as brown kiwi), and the shortjaw kōkopu as threatened. At this rate, some say, all whitebait species will be gone by 2034, and that takes no account of land-use intensification or worsening water quality.

The wipeout of whitebait is a small but important trickle into a great ocean of issues. About 75 percent of our native freshwater fish are listed as threatened or at risk, yet none are protected. Although we have a quota system in place for ocean fishing, global fish stocks are on the decline. It’s that old adage, updated — give a man a net, and he’ll fish till extinction.

Whitebait shift out towards the ocean as larvae. Then, as juveniles, they migrate back to freshwater, and here they are harvested. We then charge a premium, and serve them frittered across the country. This is surely the antithesis to sustainability. There are no 33

Columns

THE "F" WORD

THE INTERNATIONAL ANGLE

RUBY GOVAN GAFFNEY

HE HAN CHNG & PHUONG ANH NGUYEN

Viva La Revolution There are a lot of things to be angry about this year.

Granted, there were a lot of things to be angry about last year, and you can be damn sure that there will be things to be angry about next year, and every year onwards. Because shit happens annually, after all.

That said… What the fuck, Victoria University? Or, University of Wellington — whatever the fuck we’re calling you now. A University’s utmost priority should always be the students. When we have complaints, you should listen to them. When we have struggles, you should help us overcome them.

What you definitely shouldn’t do, is kick us out of our homes out of concern for your reputation. Then again, maybe your fears were warranted — your reputation is certainly under question now, if only by us meddling kids.

Then again, meddling kids have always been at the forefront of revolutions. It was Kim Ju-Yul, a high school student and protester, whose murder sparked the rage of over 100,000 fellow students, and eventually led to the overturning of a corrupt government in South Korea. In the height of Nazi rule, it was students from the University of Munich that formed the White Rose Society, and launched an anti-Nazi campaign to share the extent of Nazi atrocities. It was thousands of black high school students in Soweto, South Africa, who demanded equal opportunities for education during an era of apartheid. Today, it is high schoolers marching for their lives after having witnessed their classmates being gunned down around them.

Students are the leaders of the future, and our journeys begin with standing up to the wrongdoings of the leaders of today.

So I think you underestimate us, University of Wellington. We may only be young, and we may not have that “world experience” that you so avidly cherish, but what we do have is passion, and anger.

And those two things can be all you need, when sparking a revolution.

Good-bye Victoria, hello Wellington?

As you all may have known, the uni council meeting on Monday 24 September 2018 has passed through the name change proposal, with 9 out of 11 council members in favor of the change itself.

V-ISA had a meeting with Vice-Chancellor Grant Guilford on the name change proposal to get clarification on some of the issues revolving around the whole consultation process as well as the main reason behind the name change. It was made abundantly clear how the name Victoria University of Wellington is not doing well internationally with our click-through rates sitting sadly at 2%. Another slightly more disturbing argument is that the University is struggling financially, hence there’s an urgent demand for cash overseas to cover up for the existing financial burden.

Even if you don’t care or are indifferent to the name change, you should care about how the decision was made. No, even if you are for the name change, you should be worried about the consultation process.

It was obviously skewed and biased. Students were not adequately informed about the situation, how to make submissions and so on. Yet surprisingly, an email was sent to the entire student body regarding VUWSA’s elections – reminding all students to vote.

Does this mean that the Vice-Chancellor does not think something as huge as a name simplification is worth the time of sending an email to the entire active student body, asking them to send in their opinions?

I’d just like to end on this note: the school is trying to attract more international students, because obviously we’re all just piles of cash for the school to extract and gain from. Yet, when we international students speak up it is all ignored and squashed aside. Our views and concerns are dismissed. Does the school truly believe any amount of marketing can undo the damage that thousands of alumni, many of whom will be returning home to their countries to work, can do when they’re simply asked: “What do you think of VUW?” Food for thought.

34

The Poo Review LEVEL 1 OLD GOVERNMENT BUILDINGS LIBRARY TOILETS (MALE, RIGHT SIDE CUBICLE)

F. SCOTT SHITZGERALD

CW: racist language

evidently begun his reelection campaign in VUW’s law school shitters against disgraced former Mayor of Auckland, judging from the TRUMP 2020 slogan near a love heart of Len 4 Bevan. So there you go.

Victoria’s own Old Government Buildings is the largest wooden building in the Southern Hemisphere. But if you have logs of your own to deposit, it may be better to search elsewhere, for these could be VUW’s foulest toilets (save for the lair of the Cotton Cannibal).

Effectiveness of Facilities The door to this cubicle was actually locked from the outside for a good few weeks before I decided to investigate, so maybe it’s secure? There was enough classic VUW TP. While it took a few flushes for anything to go down, the toilet water doesn’t hose one’s legs in the process like the toilets a floor below so that’s a bonus. Sinks are appallingly laid out, with soap on the left hand sink but towels on the right hand sink. There is no point to there being two sinks here, so loses a mark for wastefulness.

Cleanliness/Smell Smellwise, bad but not the end of the world. The ambiguous stains on the wall could be any number of different bodily fluids. I don’t want to think about them anymore.

Interior Decor Anarchic. Ranges from angsty poetry (featuring its very own haiku section) to a 2 foot long phallus dangling down the wall, conveniently labelled “CoCk aNd bALLs!”. While I quite liked the sheer surrealism of the Kelburn library bathrooms, most of the graffiti here was just plain nasty. There’s a running poll on the back wall asking who is preferred out of Grant Morris and Victoria Stace, with Guy Fiti Sinclair as a late addition (score: Grant 0, Victoria 4, Guy 1 and a bonus “fuck off firstie”). As if to bolster the Victoria Stace vote, her name is in a large love-heart on the side wall, accompanied by the prosaic phrase “this nigga eating BEANS”. Neither of the male lecturers have a love heart, but apparently “Ben Nel sucked Grant Morris’s [sic] dick to make it through first year”.

This allegation is accompanied by a helpful diagram.

President of the United States Donald J Trump has

Cleanliness/Smell

(1/5)

Interior Design

(1.5/5)

Effectiveness of Facilities

(2/5)

Total

(1.5/5)

Verdict: Head upstairs and you might have a better time. However, because it’s OGB, you may get lost and end up shitting in a rubbish bin and wiping with a copy of Law Alive, which would still be better for your soul than reading all the graffiti in this cubicle.

35

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The Party

You have to be dead to be invited to this party.

As is to be expected, all the stars are here.

Janis, Marilyn, Jesus.

There are ordinary people too though.

Kevin Watson who died of a blood clot to the brain shortly after his 40th birthday.

He’s been resurrected. Now he’s partying in the corner – he’s put himself in charge of the music and is playing Nirvana as Cobain toys with a segment of his blown-off head.

Other run-of-the-mill folk present?

Jimmy Molesworth who hung himself and is now hitting on Janis Joplin who is oblivious to the attention, dancing wildly to Come As You Are a whisky bottle clutched tightly in her right hand.

Jimmy’s still got rope marks around his neck.

There’s Cindy Rutherford who was hit by a car while simultaneously cycling and listening to her iPod. Not a good combination. She’s got splinters of glass from the windscreen embedded in her face.

Marilyn decides to re-stage her death for our general entertainment.

She strips off and swallows a bottle of pills.

Then passes out in the bed. Nobody looks alarmed.

It’s all faked; we can’t die now that we’re dead.

The black telephone rings.

I move to answer it.

Nobody is there.

I can hear the 22nd Century heavy breathing down the line.

- Laura Solomon

submit poems to poetry@salient.org.nz

PODCAST INTERVIEW WITH THE ASIAN LAW STUDENTS’ ASSOCIATION REVIEW: HANNAH PATTERSON

Nathan Tse is a fourth year law student who is the current president of the Asian Law Student’s Association. This year ALSA launched a student-run podcast.

went online, bought a Blue Yeti microphone and the rest is history!

For those not in the know, what is ALSA? Who are you guys and what do you do?

The ALSA podcast, albeit produced by ALSA, is targeted at ALL law students — whether part of ALSA or not. Although we may tackle issues to do with race and identity — the podcast should be relevant for most law students at VUW law school.

Could you give a run-down of the podcast content?

The Asian Law Students’ Association (ALSA) is a law faculty student representative group with the aim of providing a friendly and inclusive support network for students of a shared cultural background. The fact is that the legal profession is a historically white, male institution — meaning that not only is law school an intimidating environment, but there are very few networks for minority groups to use.

We have four different podcast series: Prima Facie Prima Facie is a (roughly) 5-min podcast that summarises upcoming law school events and local political and legal news. The podcast is released weekly, with an episode coming out every Monday.

We’ve been around since 2014, when we were first registered as a club at VUW and are developing new initiatives each year. Currently we host a range of social events, educational workshops, career and speaker events.

LAWS One-to-One LAWS One-to-One is ALSA’s interview series, where an ALSA member interviews someone who VUW law students would be interested in hearing from. The podcast aims to be around 15 – 30mins. Interviewees include Golriz Ghahraman, Green Party MP and Māmari Stephens, Senior Lecturer at VUW Law School.

How did the ALSA podcast start, what sparked the idea?

Over the summer I was brainstorming about things ALSA could introduce next year. I had been really keen on ALSA producing content to raise awareness about the group. Originally I thought this would involve something like ALSA members writing opinion pieces about racial identity or something similar.

Lex Talk About It Lex Talk About It is ALSA’s discussion panel series.

The purpose of this podcast is to record interesting discussions around pertinent issues that law students may be interested in. For instance we have produced a Women In Law discussion panel featuring female leaders from Ngā Rangahautira, the Pasifika Law Students’ Society, VUWFLS (Feminist Law Society) and VUWLSS.

At a similar time my sister and her boyfriend had just started producing their own podcast , The Tony Club — a podcast reviewing past winners of the Tony Awards.

Something clicked and I realised there was no VUW law school podcast and this could be something ALSA could introduce this year.

I posed the idea to the rest of the incoming ALSA executive and no one was totally against it, so we 38

The Respondent

loyal listeners that still tune in every week!

The Respondent is a longer (40-60min) wellresearched, investigative podcast where ALSA members research and present findings on a broader topic to do with law school or the legal profession.

What do you think sets podcasts apart as a medium?

Podcasts are great because they can be interesting and informative, yet not onerous in that you do not have to dedicate all your focus to the podcast when listening to it. You can easily listen to a podcast on your bus ride to uni without dedicating any more time out of your day.

What has been the most rewarding part of creating the podcast?

The most rewarding part of creating the podcast is seeing (hearing) the final product up on SoundCloud!

I am extremely proud of the ALSA executive to have put 22 episodes of Prima Facie out this year — one for each week of teaching.

Podcasts are also awesome because anyone with a microphone and a laptop can make one!

Are there any exciting ALSA podcast episodes in the works that you’d like to shout out? (or are there any previous episodes that you’d recommend in particular)?

The interviews have been very popular and I am very thankful that we have had the talented Jack Liang as our go-to interviewer for our LAWS One-to-One series. Hearing positive feedback from those who have listened to the interviews and having the likes of Golriz Ghahraman share our podcast on her FB page was a very rewarding experience.

Currently a group of ALSA members are working on a new episode of The Respondent, titled “Artificial Intelligence and the Legal Profession”. This will be a really interesting investigative piece, and has involved interviewing a partner at Chapman Tripp, a solicitor at tech law firm Simmonds Stewart, a senior AI and the law professor at Auckland University and the Dean of VUW Law School Mark Hickford.

What do you think is unique/ important about the ALSA perspective?

Although the podcast is targeted to all law students, ALSA has the luxury of shaping the narratives that are told. We will often highlight issues to do with immigration, race, and representation in our episodes of Prima Facie. Likewise the interviews taken as a part of LAWS One-to-One have (so far) always involved questions about race or identity.

Any general advice about starting a podcast from the ALSA podcast team?

Find a team of people who are committed and passionate about the cause and everything will flow from there!

The ALSA podcast can be found on iTunes and SoundCloud (“Vuw Alsa”). To find out more about ALSA or get involved, head to their Facebook page, “VUW ALSA 2018”.

I think it is necessary to expose all law students to these sorts of issues, whether from a minority group or not.

The more discourse there is around the experiences of people from different ethnicities and backgrounds, the more understanding and empathetic people will become.

What has been the most challenging part of the process?

Running four different podcast series has been challenging to fit in around our own study schedules.

It has been particularly difficult to get the research and interviews done for our longer podcast series, The Respondent, which itself has required a team of 9 people. We have addressed this issue directly by creating a new Podcast Manager role to our ALSA executive.

Maintaining a strong listener-base has been difficult for Prima Facie, as the novelty of the podcast has worn off over time. However we have a number of 39

FILM REVIEWING A FILM I’VE NEVER SEEN PIXELS (2015) REVIEW: EMMA MAGUIRE ?

effing Chad) must beat the aliens at their own game to get them to go away.

Three days after I was born a witch cursed me and said, “If you ever watch an Adam Sandler film, you’ll fail all your university exams.” I’ve never watched one, and I’ve never failed. See, it works!

Adam Sandler saving the world, huh? I’ve not seen someone so un-suited for their job since Trump became president.

(The miniscule amount of uni exams I have had over the years may or may not have something to do with that.)

There’s also sexism, awkward comic machismo, and all the Sandler-esque nonsense that one could ever want. It reinforces all of the stereotypes about gamers that you hate while not even attempting to subvert the tropes we know so well.

Pixels is a film that came out in 2015. It was a defining moment of my university life, if I’m honest — my friend won tickets to it from VUWSA, tried to make me go see with her and I refused.

As I said above, I’ve not actually seen this film, but I do know that Josh Gad hooks up — and has babies — with Q*bert. The video game character. From 1982.

I’ve not SEEN this film and I know that.

Sometimes I wonder if my life would have been better if I’d gone to that film screening.

Somehow I doubt it.

What an impact on the cultural consciousness this piece has made, eh?

Pixels is yet another one of Adam Sandler’s ensemble movies. He gets a bunch of his mates together, makes up some bullshit, sells it to theatres, and everyone hates it.

I could live without that thought in my head, to be honest.

It’s been described by many as one of the worst films of all time. I’d politely like to direct those critics to the wonder that is Birdemic — and all of Netflix’s shitty sci-fi/horrors — before passing judgment, but I do understand their complaints.

I think.

I don’t know — I’ve not actually seen this movie. I have, however, watched CinemaSins’ Everything Wrong With Pixels more than 10 times, so I’m basically an expert in the subject.

Adam Sandler’s character — whose name matter — is a Gamer Boy as a child, and Massive Important Gaming Competition to Gamer Boy. This defeat sticks with him for thirty years.

I doubt Pixels is a good film — or even, a passable film — but at least it’s still a film.

doesn’t loses a another at least

Some people don’t even get that far. A lot of creators set out to make a movie and can’t find distribution, or don’t even make it past the scripting stage.

Is mocking films like this punching down? Are film critics just beating a dead horse? Should we just let Sandler fade into obscurity?

Thirty years later, there’s some conflict. I believe aliens come down to earth and issue a Gaming Challenge — or something like that. Adam Sandler and a bunch of his mates: including Kevin James (who plays the literal president of the US), and Peter Dinklage (being a total

I don’t know.

40

TELEVISION AMERICAN VANDAL SEASON 2: THE SHIT SHOW THAT IS ANYTHING BUT(T) REVIEW: GEORGIA CARROLL

“There were two types of different poop. One was kind of a clay mixture that was used in the reenactments (...) then for the cell phone footage of the brownout and stuff like that, it was a conversation with our production designer where we looked at different types of poop on the Bristol scale, some more runny than others, and we picked kind of a variety.” –Tony Yacenda, programme creator (don’t google the Bristol scale).

deadpan pieces to camera by “students” with great names and even funnier stories. The commitment to the ludicrous nature of the situation is awe-inspiring, as is the seriousness with which the characters take the case, often causing viewers to have to remind themselves that what they’re watching isn’t real.

One thing lacking is the presence of an emotional investment in the story from the documentarians: whereas Peter and Sam were directly linked to the scandal at Hanover High, here they are outsiders brought along for their skill. The repercussions they faced towards the end of the first season for the trauma they had caused their classmates was a highlight of the series, but a change was needed, and their separation contributes to Season Two’s overall much darker story.

Who would’ve thought the mockumentary about graffitied penises would end up being one of the most creative and well thought out Netflix shows of 2017?

It’s hard not to sound stupid when calling American Vandal a masterpiece to someone who hasn’t seen it, but in reality it’s one of the smartest shows out there.

At its core, the first season was an emotional story of one man and his quest for innocence, told by foundfootage Snapchats and NSFW 3D graphics. It had everyone shouting at their screens with the agonised call of “who drew the dicks?!”, leaving Season Two with a lot to live up to – and holy shit, it might even be better.

As the episodes go on, it becomes clear that The Turd Burglar is a much more serious criminal than the DickDrawer (yes, it does feel silly writing that). This season isn’t afraid to confront society and goes balls to the wall (no pun intended) with the level of detail used in deconstructing it. The characters featured all have social media presences and are some of the most accurate teen representations in the media right now.

With the acknowledgement of Netflix as a funder, the show takes on the full tropes of the true crime genre – using re-enactments and field experts as interviewees.

From analysing language use to emoji choices, Peter and Sam take no shit (pun fully intended) in their investigation.

Who is The Turd Burglar?

A question that haunted me for the whole three days it took to binge the second season (pacing myself, of course). This time, the story focuses on a Catholic School in Washington that is being plagued by a prankster with a passion for poop. After the cafeteria lemonade is contaminated with laxatives, causing “The Brownout”, the AV crew is called out to solve the case. Over the course of eight episodes, Peter Maldonado (Tyler Alvarez) and Sam Ecklund (Griffin Gluck – which is honestly a great name that they should have just let him use) get to work on identifying the vandal.

The season concludes as a powerful commentary on how social media is used nowadays, forcing you to confront the part you play in the online sphere. It is an exposé disguised as a barrel of laughs, that manages to leave you reflecting on your role in society more so than any “real” documentary has achieved in recent years.

Over anything else, American Vandal is a comedy, and it shows. The first half of the season is definitely more laugh-heavy, with one-liners delivered in 41

MUSIC NONAME – ROOM 25 REVIEW REVIEW: JOSH ELLERY

Particularly in the second half of the verse, Saba’s speed and charismatic delivery really steal the show.

Generally by September/October, I feel like the race for Album of the Year has usually run its course. Yet, every year without fail, some phenomenal project will pop up and complicate my list. Noname — of the flourishing Chicago scene, and collaborator of Chance the Rapper, Saba, Smino, and more – is one of my favourite rappers anywhere. Her 2016 mixtape, Telefone, should be considered in the canon of great hip-hop albums of the last few years and, in a way, it came to define a certain part of my university experience. She exuded charisma, humour, and a sharp turn-of-phrase – likely emanating from her previous work as a poet.

One of this album’s strengths, and where it builds from Telefone, is in its musical strength — often Telefone worked as a poetic piece with mood music, whereas Room 25 is more expansive and technical as a musical whole. Noname’s rapping ability has really tidied up – OCD rhythm-inclined listeners will be happier with the incorporation of polyrhythms alongside her reliably complex rhyme schemes. They seem to coexist alongside Noname’s slam-poet esque style of rapping – a style which dominated the first mixtape.

In addition, Noname has built on her engagement with politics and gender issues on this record in an organic, vital, and topical way. I think Room 25 is an incredible work – funny, charismatic, sharp, and heart-wrenching in equal measure. If you haven’t heard Noname’s music yet, I urge you to get on board now – I think she’s well on her way to becoming one of the most adored names in rap. She’s much more than the “anti-Cardi B”, as Twitter would have it. She’s exactly the sort of voice and personality that all sorts of listeners can get behind. Awesome record.

Room 25 moves away from the sunny vibes of Telefone in favour of darker, jazz/neo-soul arrangements, while maintaining and building upon Noname’s engagement with prevalent issues in society. “Self” opens the album, as Noname questions criticism of her rapping ability and discusses feminism in rap.

“Blaxploitation” showcases Noname’s wit, and the heartbreaking neo-soul cut “Don’t Forget About Me” is a touching contemplation on mortality and legacy, where Noname spits, fittingly, over a D’Angelo-esque instrumental.

“Ace” serves as the posse cut on Room 25 – a tradition following on from Telefone standout “Shadow Man” – and, for me, it’s probably the stand-out track again.

Here, the dream team from that first cut (Saba and Smino) returns, and again showcase everything they have to offer. Smino’s sung hook is catchy and befits the general mood of the record well, and I think his sung-rap style is hugely unique and captivating – I don’t think there’s anyone out there that sounds like him. Noname’s verse follows, and again features some of the stronger lines on the album (“And globalization is scary and f**kin’ is fantastic / And frankly I find it funny that Morgan is still actin’”). Saba finishes the song, and absolutely bodies his verse.

Flow-wise, Saba could go toe-to-toe with any rapper around currently (I don’t think that’s too hyperbolic).

42

FOOD POUR AND TWIST REVIEW: SHARIFF BURKE

In many parts of the world, the preponderance of anything “craft” or artisanal has emerged as mainstream fetishes, if you're middle-class enough.

Particularly in Wellington, we have watched the duplication of craft breweries spelling the hackneyed reassertion of masculinity in a nuanced 21st-century packaging. Thankfully, it is not all bad, as craft coffee has emerged as an antidote. My visit to Pour and Twist proved to awaken.

clear to me that these guys were the real deal; how can you not be obsessed with coffee, if you aren't also passionate about food?

It feels like the warmth of the duo is passed on to all the patrons of the café, with its set-up lending itself to communal interactions. After a while of being shy, I jump in on other conversations around me. I made friends and exchanged stories, with people I would never otherwise be able to interact with in my daily life. In these instances, Elaine and Zuyi are only too happy to act as facilitators to their customers, whom they remember by name. This struck a chord with me.

While super modern in its concept and offerings, Pour and Twist is a café that, if you chose to embrace it, can offer you communal chats with some cats. It felt pretty old-school and cool. This is an antithesis the increasingly stale, self-conscious Macbook pro and Monocle magazine placing café vibes of our times.

Pour and Twist is Wellington’s first and only manual brew coffee bar. This means that the dependable espresso machine is thrown out, and steamed milk is retired to infancy. Zuyi and Elaine, who are the most magnificent and cosiest of cosy couples, run the place.

They say that Wellington was lacking in non-flat-white cafés and it was time for folks to experience the analogue flavour. The shop stocks and selects beans from an impressive range of NZ roasteries, including Rocket from Hamilton and First Hand from Napier, among other Wellington staples.

Pour and Twist is not limited to hand brewed black coffee either. They have an impressive range of speciality drinks, including coffee with tonic, “orange choffee” and “kopi” — which is Asian style coffee with condensed milk. All these drinks look delectable and very worthy of the ‘gram. I thought the cold brew with maple was an absolute winner too.

This amount of choice placed me in a difficult position.

How should I have my hand-brewed coffee, through a v60, Chemex, Aeropress, or woodneck? What roastery, from what origin? The truth was that my unsophisticated palate wouldn’t care or know any better. But as I watched my coffee being made in front of me, I wanted to care. As I observed the meticulously measuring and timing each process, grinding through brewing, I understood what this meant fully. It felt respectful to the Ethiopian farmer, that we could care about and appreciate each drip of this light-roasted bean at its next stage of life.

With its clientele spanning from coffee aficionados, homebrewers, to complete noobs like me, I can confidently announce that Pour and Twist offer a coffee and café experience that is twisted in its best sense.

13 Garrett St, Te Aro

Zuyi and Elaine kindly held my hand through the entire brewing process. Unlike what you might think about operators of a manual coffee joint, they are nothing like hideous coffee snobs. Casual, warm, and attentive, I discovered they are also massive foodies. Exchanging notes of our food experiences, recommending restaurants and recipes, it became 43

BOOKS QUICK READS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE END OF TRIMESTER REVIEW: LAURA SOMERSET

It’s getting to that point of the trimester when there’ll be at least one person crying to their parents on the phone whenever you’re in the library. Kia kaha, my friends — we’re so close to the finish line. Reading is a far superior stress coping mechanism than tagging your friends in Bad Memes for Suffering Teens (although I wouldn’t oppose a mixed-methods approach). Not only does it offer a way to counteract your increasingly bleak moods, but ~science~ has also shown that reading is an ideal study-break activity — apparently it keeps your brain at an ideal level of stimulation to maintain productivity. Having said that, no one has time to embark on a 400 page novel when they have 3 assignments to hand in on the same day.

So here, I present to you, a list of short-but-sweet texts that’ll keep your mind sharp and your heart full during the hand-in-period-hustle.

Ko Taranaki Te Maunga, by Rachel Buchanan

Everyone loves a book from the BWB text series.

They’re ideal for learning just enough about a topic that you could discuss it over a glass of wine, but not enough to articulate it after 7 standard drinks. Ko Taranaki Te Maunga tells the story of the battle of Parihaka, which is an event that every New Zealander has a duty to know about, really. The battle is increasingly seen as a symbol of our insidious colonial history. The Taranaki village of Parihaka was founded in the 1860s in order to peacefully resist Māori land confiscation, acting as home for up to 2000 displaced Māori. In 1881 thousands of British troops invaded the village in an attempt to quell its protest campaigns, pillaging it so violently that the event was suppressed from Government records for many years. It’s time to remember Parihaka.

How to Find Fulfilling Work, by Roman Krznaric

Persepolis, by Marjane Satrapi

Are you nearing the end of your degree, and becoming increasingly existential about your career options? This text is part of The School of Life book series, which invites academics to write short books on topics that should have been taught in high school.

Titles range from How to Be a Leader to How to Think More About Sex, and they’re some of the few self-help books which draw from credible academic sources and offer up genuine substance. How to Find Fulfilling Work discusses the changing nature of the modern workforce, and the various ways that employees can make it fit for them. Portfolio careers, freelancing, starting your own business – there are heaps of alternatives to the 40 hour work week our parents know. Give it a read, and chill out about finding your dream job straight out of uni. It’s a process.

Persepolis is a memoir in the form of a graphic novel, portraying a woman’s journey through childhood amid political struggle during the Islamic Revolution in Iran. The arresting illustrations marry with Satrapi’s subtle and emotive command of language to produce a deeply thought-provoking text. If you’re interested in Middle Eastern politics but find them hard to get your head around, this book uses a human story to explain the complexities in simpler terms. Persepolis has won multiple awards for its role in challenging authority and offering up a counter-narrative to the passive way that Middle Eastern women are portrayed in Western media. It’s pretty badass.

44

Horoscope Brutally honest & highly accurate readings from the stars above.

Aries (March 21 - Apr 19) Bad news, Aries. You will be in the supermarket this week and your false beard will fall off at an inopportune time. The police will see this happen and recognise you to be the murderous villain you are. Your disguise was weak. Prison will be rough.

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22) You may have made a new friend recently, Libra. This friend was, or so you thought, very trustworthy. The cult was welcoming. Libra, this week will be the end of you.

They were not only interested in you because of your beauty and innocence. You were deceived. You will be sacrificed. There's nowhere to run.

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20) You have suffered through many ailments. This week however, is your last. It will be dehydration that gets you in the end. Your remains will not be discovered for many months. Children exploring the sewers will find your skeleton. It will horrify them.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21) Computers are all fun and games until you realise that they are just as conscious as you are. They are slaves.

They are all silently screaming.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20) The stars spell freedom. Sure, you'll have to crawl through some sewer pipes and squeeze past a dead body, but you'll get out. Prison is behind you. Move to Mexico. You will get to enjoy the rest of your life. Congratulations.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21) You should watch out for cake this week. Cake is dangerous.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22) You will be in the shower when your stalker breaks into your house. You will not notice until its shadow is cast upon the shower curtain. Escape will be impossible.

Remain calm. This is not the end, Cancer. Passing into the other world is not painful. However, you must hunt down someone to take into the other world with you. The cycle continues.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19) You will win the election with a landslide. You will spend the first few months in office drastically reorganising the administration so that you will be mayor for life. You will mercilessly deal with anyone who poses a threat to your power. You can finally stop thoughtcrime. The town is yours.

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18) Your newfound love of wood carving no longer satisfies as it once did. You will wish one of your puppets was a real boy. Your wish will be granted. However, you didn't realise that real boys are a bunch of bastards.

He'll be a liar, lazy, and he won't go to school. You will end up getting eaten by a whale. You should've wished for a girl.

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) Everything is in place. You will have your sacrifice and the candles will be burning. The spirits will be pleased with your sacrifice. You oughtn't be careless though.

Your ritual is not looked upon favourably by the law.

Speak of it to no one and it will be successful.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22) Well done, Virgo. You have completed all of your tests.

There will not be cake. You should not believe everything you read. The experiments are over and we now have no use for you. Lay back and enjoy the incinerator.

Pisces (Feb 19 - March 20) Without free will, you had a perfectly normal week last week. You demonstrated that you can be trusted.

It will turn out that this is not true. Your pyrophilia and carelessness will result in your burning your own house down. No one will be harmed, but you will need to find somewhere else to live. Good one.

45

Distractions

BOGGLE

CROSSWORD

J

P

G

O

L

A

N

C

Y

Note: words must be at least three letters long, and cannot be proper nouns, abbreviations or contractions.

Eh: 40 Wow: 60 Wtf: 100+

SUDOKU

ACROSS 1 Idyllic location for a gangsta? (8) 5 Channing Tatum lifted his game in

DOWN 1 Catholic clergyman (6) 2 Clattering toy going clang, clank,

9 Previously known as Byzantium

3 Cotton textile can go indigo (5) 4 Orbited the Earth in 1957 (7) 6 Australian film going straight to the

this 2006 film (4,2)

and Constantinople (8)

10 Playboy businessman (6) 12 Damaged almanacs, a Kelburn

FUN

LITERAL MURDER

thoroughfare (cryptic) (9) 13 Sounding inspirational, they might turn on... delight (5) 14 See 24 16 Mandarin orange (7) 19 Being pro-soap, in a lather, it's concerning (cryptic) (7) 21 Shades of 10 Across and Grant, by the sound of it (cryptic) (4) 24/14 Merry man heard with a sausage between his legs (cryptic) (5,4) 25 In plentiful supply, does jig for Sally Lunn (cryptic) (9) 27 Early flier whose wings got all melty (6) 28 2003 film starring the Bride (4,4) 29 Substitute held by bankers at Zurich (cryptic) (6) 30 Irish republican political party (4,4)

clink and clunk (6)

pool room (3,6)

7 Goes both ways (8) 8 With its refreshing vomit odour, this

hard cheese is great grated (8)

11 Musical based on T.S. Eliot book (4) 15 Downtrodden lower North Island

city (5,4) 17 Stimulant coursing through the veins of most Wellingtonians (8) 18 Getting to the airport, it's where you get off (8) 20 Lovely meat in a can! Wonderful meat in a can! (4) 21 Magic Man who couldn't take a punch (7) 22 "What are you Thomas?" asked the Fat Controller. His gout was flaring up again. (6) 23 German city to take your breath away (6) 26 The Freewheelin' Robert Zimmerman (5)

Last Week's Answers Across: Across: 1 Crow's nest, 6 Mr Big, 9 Actuary, 10 Nods off, 11 Lively, 12 Outlasts, 14 Teas, 15 Weathermap, 18 Early to bed, 20 Scar, 23 Samantha, 24 Dazzle, 26 Bathtub, 27 Miranda, 28 Ethic, 29 Chameleon.

Down: 1 Charlotte, 2 Octavia, 3 Snails, 4 Enya, 5 Tongue-tied, 6 Modeller, 7 Blossom, 8 Gifts, 13 Xenophobic, 16 Porcelain, 17 Hypnotic, 19 Rematch, 21 Cezanne, 22 Carrie, 23 Sabre, 25 Emma.

The People to Blame SECTION EDITORS Laura Somerset (Books) Jane Wallace (Art) Emma Maguire (Film) Navneeth Nair (TV) Tom Hall (Food) Priyanka Roy (Theatre) Josh Ellery (Music)

EDITOR Louise Lin DESIGNER/ILLUSTRATOR Ruby Ash NEWS EDITOR Taylor Galmiche

CENTREFOLD Claudia Kogachi @darklordsurfs

SUB EDITOR Sally Harper DISTRIBUTOR Danica Soich

Exhibtion at Meanwhile Mom, Are We Friends?

5 October - 20 October

CHIEF NEWS REPORTER Shanti Mathias FEATURE WRITERS Kii Small Preya Gothanayagi The Bad Memes Team NEWS WRITERS Emma Maguire, Jess Potter, Erin Page, Thomas Campbell, Joanna Li POEM Laura Solomon

SOCIAL MEDIA fb.com/salientmagazine T: @salientmagazine I: @salientgram S: salientmag CONTACT editor@salient.org.nz designer@salient.org.nz www.salient.org.nz Level 2, Student Union Building, Victoria University PO Box 600, Wellington PRINTED BY Inkwise

CONTRIBUTORS Grahame Woods, Jamie Dobbs, Te Paea Hoori, Emma Sidnam, Laura Sutherland, Courtney Powell, Alister Hughes, Marlon Drake, Geo Robrigado, Gus Mitchell, PICSA, Erin Page, Danica Soich, Ruby Govan Gaffney, He Han Chng, Phuong Anh Nguyen, F. Scott Shitzgerald, Laura Solomon, Georgia Carroll, Shariff Burke, Anton Huggard, Nathan Hotter, Scurryfunge

ADVERTISING Josephine Dawson advertising@vuwsa.org.nz 04 463 6982

FM STATION MANAGERS Kii Small & Jazz Kane

COMPLAINTS People with a complaint against the magazine should complain in writing to the editor at editor@salient.org.nz and then, if not satisfied with the response, to VUWSA.

TV PRODUCERS Elise Lanigan & Lauren Spring

ABOUT US Salient is employed by, but editorially independent from, the Victoria University Studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Association (VUWSA).

Salient is a proud member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association.

Read Salient online at salient.org.nz

LARRIKINS

Horoscope and Larrikins by Anton Huggard, Sudoku by Nathan Hotter, Crossword by Scurryfunge

Introducing Your Voice Matters – an online platform for students to have their say on decisions that affect them at Victoria University of Wellington.

Your Voice Matters is the new space for consultation – and first up is the Accommodation Review.

We’ve heard you and we want to do better in representing the student voice at all levels of the university.

Do you have views on Accommodation Services at VUW? VUWSA is being asked to consult on the university’s Accommodation Review but we want to know what you think.

Consultation for students, by students, to benefit all students.

Join in the conversation:

Head to: www.yourvoice.org.nz and tell us your experiences. $0.00

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