The Zeitgeist | Issue 20

VOL. 78

ISSUE 20

THE ZEITGEIST

7 SEPTEMBER

02

salient

CONTENTS 4–13

NEWS AND COLUMNS

REGULAR CONTENT

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Democracy returns to Uni Council Vested interests and kamikaze presidents

3 Editorials 6 Notices 6 Ask Agatha 6 The Week In Feminism 8 We Drank This So You Wouldn’t

Have To 14 Letters 37 Books 38 Science 40 Film 42 Music 44 Visual Arts 45 Fashion 46 VUWSA 47 Puzzles

14–31 FEATURES 14 Tinder As a Laxative 18 Bloodsport 22 Fashion Slaeve 26 The Man Who Wanted to Be a Goat 30 Fast Friends and Snail Mail

32–36 OPINION 32 35 36

Social Stigma and the Sex Industry On Suicide Vote You for Campaigns Officer

Guest Editors Nicola Braid Chrissy Brown Editor Sam McChesney editor@salient.org.nz Design and Illustration Ella Bates-Hermans Lily Paris West designer@salient.org.nz News Editor Nicola Braid news@salient.org.nz Investigative News Editor Sophie Boot Chief Sub Editor Kimaya McIntosh Sub Editor Zoe Russell

www.salient.org.nz

Senior Feature Writer Philip McSweeney Feature Writers Sharon Lam Gus Mitchell Distributor Beckie Wilson News Reporters Tim Grgec Emma Hurley Charlie Prout Beckie Wilson Elea Yule News Interns Jordan Gabolinscy Alexa Zelensky News Photographer Jess Hill

Section Editors Sharon Lam (Visual Arts) Jayne Mulligan (Books) Bridget Pyć (Science) Kate Robertson (Music) Fairooz Samy (Film) Jess Scott (Fashion) Cameron Gray (Games) Other Contributors Brittany Mackie-Ellice, AAuntie Agatha, Brittany Mackie-Ellice, Lydia and Mitch, Josie Cochrane, Harold Coutts, Phiona Baskett, Robbie Coutts, Toby Cooper, Brontё Ammundsen, Ellen O’Dwyer-Cunliffe, Elizabeth Kim, Livné Ore, James Keane, Mitchell Siermans, Field Skjellerup, Rick Zwaan, Puck.

Read Salient online at salient.org.nz Contact Level 2, Student Union Building Victoria University PO Box 600, Wellington 04 463 6766 Advertising Jason Sutton sales@vuwsa.org.nz 04 463 6982 Social Media Philip McSweeney philip@salient.org.nz fb.com/salientmagazine @salientmagazine Printed By Inkwise, Ashburton

About Us Salient is published by, but is editorially independent from, the Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association (VUWSA). Salient is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA) and the New Zealand Press Council.

Salient is funded in part

by Victoria University of Wellington students through the Student Services Levy. The views expressed in Salient do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor, VUWSA, or the University.

Complaints People with a complaint against the magazine should first complain in writing to the Editor and then, if not satisfied with the response, complain to the Press Council.

See presscouncil.org.nz/ complain.php for more information.

issue 20

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Editorial Hello everyone, what is good?

Welcome to the Zeitgeist Issue. Given that I’m woefully unqualified to write an editorial about what’s hip and happening with the young folks today (except for Mr. Robot, which is outrageously good and you should watch it immediately), I’m going to talk instead about the HOTTEST EVENT RIGHT NOW: the VUWSA elections.

If you’re an aspiring Labour backbencher, if your CV’s looking threadbare, or if you love the sweet taste of (hardly any) power, get amongst it. There are five 10 hour a week positions (the Officers), three 20 hour positions (Vice Presidents), and, of course, the Big One—Publications Committee Rep. For the born-to-rule silverspooners out there, the campaign spending limit has been more than doubled to $250, although the rules around Super PACs are yet to be clarified. Either way, that’s a lot of chalk.

Snark aside, serving on Exec is a hugely rewarding experience (unless you’re one of the ones who end up quitting partway through). Also, next year’s Salient editor is highly unlikely to be as bitchy as I am, so you’ll get a much easier ride from the press.

There’s also been a serious problem with VUWSA elections over the past few years, and you can help fix it. Last year, there were 16 candidates for 11 positions. Half of this year’s Executive were elected unopposed. While they’ve all done a good job, that’s kind of a fluke— there needs to be more competition otherwise the Exec’s mandate to represent you is shaky.

Speaking of mandate—if you’re not interested in running, you should at least vote. When next year’s Exec call out the uni during Academic Board meetings, or decorate the Hub with weed mat, or do whatever else it is that they do, it would be helpful if they could fall back on something a bit more substantial than “almost 12 per cent of students voted for me!”

Anyway, there’s a lot that needs to happen at VUWSA next year, so if you’re looking to build a policy platform here are some things that are likely to gain the media’s (Salient’s) approval: A new VUWSA flag. Clearly, VUWSA needs a new flag, both to show its burgeoning independence from NZUSA, and to distract students from the underwhelming Service Level Agreement that VUWSA’s negotiating with the University. One caveat: unless I have the option of voting for original, non-sucky designs like “Te Pepe” or “Fire the Laser!” or “Eggsplosion”, I pretty much cbf. Anybody who commits to holding a binding referendum on a new VUWSA flag in which ALL submissions are open to public vote will receive a glowing writeup.

Annual music video awards. This kind of utterly meaningless event is the perfect way to arbitrarily raise VUWSA’s profile. Chuck in some race-baiting and watch the inevitable Guardian, Atlantic and Washington Post thinkpieces pour in.

More funding for Salient. Obviously. Like, what else does VUWSA do?

Equipment for DIY nap rooms. Okay, so actual nap rooms didn’t happen. But with a pillow and some VUWSA-provided antihistamines, the world is your sleep lab.

Build a slide into town. At the Technical University of Munich, students can slide their way to class. Unlike those stereotypically studious Germans, the impulse for those of us at Kelburn is slide somewhere a bit less grim. VUWSA will probably have a spare $45,000 next year, so why not?

editor@salient.org.nz

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salient

Person of the week

BY THE NUMBERS

German Chancellor Angela Merkel

63 years Queen Victoria’s reign, which will be surpassed by Queen Elizabeth II this week.

10% The lowered risk of suffering from cardiovascular issues if you have daily naps according to a Greek medical study.

0 shits How many shits we give about the upcoming Rugby World Cup.

30% The amount the Government has refused to cut NZ’s greenhouse emissions by 2030 due to its cost.

Merkel, the longest-serving EU head of state, who can only be described as an allround boss, has continued to tackle the evergrowing refugee crisis in Europe in the recent weeks. Not only has Merkel claimed all Syrian refugees will be eligible to claim asylum in Germany regardless of where they arrive on the Continent, she has sparked political conversations in her claims that “if Europe fails on the question of refugees, its close connection with universal civil rights will be destroyed”. www.salient.org.nz

£29 million The value of Manchester United goalkeeper David de Gea’s collapsed deal to move to Real Madrid.

issue 20

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N EWS. K E E N E Y E F OR N E W S? S END A NY TIPS, LEA D S O R G OSSIP TO N E W S@SA LIENT.O RG .NZ

Democracy returns to Uni Council General staff wishing they’d also held a “blackout” Nicola Braid After months of consulting with interest groups, staff and students, democracy will remain in (some parts of ) University governance.

At its meeting on 24 August, the University Council announced that its staff and student seats will continue to be elected by those they represent, rather than selected as previously proposed.

The changes mean that proportionately, student representation on Council will increase, from a current two seats out of 19 to two seats out of 12.

The Council were positive about the changes.

Members verbally patted each other on the back for their “healthy debate” and all seemed generally chuffed at the “wide-reaching consultation process”.

VUWSA President Rick Zwaan hailed the result. “After spending countless hours discussing, campaigning, riding round on scissor lifts blacking out the Hub, lobbying and debating with Council members we finally achieved the most democratic council structure in the country,” he said.

In July, VUWSA “blacked out” the Hub with weed mat, in a protest aimed at retaining elected seats on Council.

The University also received 608 submissions on its initial proposal, which would have removed all democratically elected seats from its governing body in 2016. Most

submissions highlighted the “selection not election” of staff and student seats under the proposed model, as well as the lack of a general staff representative.

Though the former has now been rectified, general staff will not be eligible for election onto the new Council. While general staff will be eligible to vote for staff representatives, only academic staff will be eligible to stand.

According to VUWSA, 96.4 per cent of submissions supported retaining some form of election process, while 90.5 per cent of submitters specifically supported elected student seats.

VUWSA’s submission commended many of the Council’s original proposals but pointed to the lack of democratic processes as having the potential to disenfranchise students.

“Electing student members... allows for greater student engagement, as they will be more connected with not only the student body, but with the rest of the student representation structure at Victoria,” VUWSA claimed.

The Tertiary Education Union’s Victoria Branch organisers Frances Matheson also submitted on behalf of the “860 academic and general staff ” at Vic that the TEU represents. The union claimed that “academic and general staff in the University should be able to take part in the major debates affecting their sector.”

The TEU called for elections rather than appointments, and also expressed concern with the lack of general staff representation.

Many of the email submissions during the second consultation process also protested the dismissive way in which general staff were described in the first consultation document. That document stated that “while general staff have been represented on the Council in the past it is hard to see a strong case for their particular skills, knowledge and experience to be carried through into the new constitution. General staff bring mostly generic skills that are not unique to the university context”. Snap.

NEW, OFFICIAL, AWESOME COUNCIL MAKE-UP

Post-graduate Students’ Association Co-President Hayden Green supported VUWSA’s general submission, but wanted to see “equal representation on the two student seats, between postgraduate and undergraduate students”.

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Most of the elected student representatives on Council in recent years, including current rep Stella Blake-Kelly, have been postgraduates.

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Four Ministerial appointees Two student reps, elected by students At least two members who are Māori and have recognised standing within the Māori community At least two members who are graduates of the University At least five women Two members of academic staff, elected by both general and academic staff The Nominations Panel will vet and recommend candidates for seats editor@salient.org.nz

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salient

News and Columns

NOTICES

Careers and Employment 2015-16 Internships and 2016 Graduate Jobs See Recruitment Schedule for details: http://bit.ly/1zGNacY Currently recruiting: Staples Rodway, KPMG, GCSB, EY, Wespac, NZX, Aviat Networks, OMD, Zomato, Accor, Communication Agencies Association NZ (CAANZ), Tasman District Council, Optiver Australia, AgResearch, Scion, Palantir, Microsoft… and many more.

Connect with employers via Recruitment events: http://bit. ly/1DOS0WK Careers in Focus (Employment options for Building Science students) – 17 Sept, NZX Graduate Open Day – 1 Oct Check in with a Careers Consultant during our daily drop-in sessions! http://bit.ly/1A1ORgv Get help with your CV, Cover Letter, Interview skills etc For more info, login to www.victoria. ac.nz/careerhub with your Student Computing login!

Victoria Abroad Victoria Abroad– Exchange Information Sessions every Wednesday @12:50pm Why not study overseas as part of your degree?!

Study in English, Earn Vic credit, Get Studylink & grants, explore the world!

Deadline for Trimester 2, 2016 exchanges is December 1st, 2015!

Website: http://victoria.ac.nz/exchange

SAY KNOW TO DRUGS Come to the launch of Vic Students for Sensible Drug Policy Guest speakers! Free food and beverage! Drugs!* 6pm Tuesday 8 September Law School Common Room *the legal kind (alcohol) www.salient.org.nz

Naughty Te Puni

Students incur wrath of neighbours, Stuff commenters Nicola Braid, with bitchiness added by Sam McChesney A neighbour to Te Puni village, Anna Ronberg, has asked Victoria University to “curb the drunken antics” of students in halls, according to Stuff.

“They have built this hostel for first-year students, who have just left home, and they just don’t know how to handle their alcohol properly,” Ronberg said.

Victoria’s Director of Campus Services Jenny Bentley told Stuff that the University “have built fences, planted trees, developed a noise minimisation plan in consultation with neighbours, and campus security do checks two to three times every evening” along with other improvements that have been made to Boyd Wilson path.

The calls for changes to hall alcohol policies are not new, and follow requests from Kelburn residents this year to make Weir House alcohol-free.

Comments on the article followed a predictable “get off my lawn” theme. “I think you’ll have more luck teaching a cat to play underwater hockey than getting drunk teenage students to behave sensibly,” according to a commenter by the name of “Frying Pan”.

“The behaviour is drunk and disorderly, antisocial and socially unacceptable,”

Shakemyhead wrote, presumably shouting at the sky.

while

Some commenters took aim at halls of residence for failing to properly supervise their residents, claiming that “the RAs appear to have little impact” and that “Weir House discharges their pre-loaded drunk students (also vomiting, shouting, chanting and screaming) into our community at 10pm to keep peace and quiet in the hall. So they disrupt us instead.”

Others blamed the University for not exercising voodoo-like levels of control over its students. “The university refuses to accept any responsibility for the anti social behaviour brought about by their alcohol policies in halls of residence,” David W frothed.

However, RitaFairBanks claimed that “the University already does a hell of alot in regards to this issue”.

“Not sure how you want the University to do to fix the problem, they are educators not babysitters,” another commenter wrote.

“There are always going to be a few bad eggs but you cannot generalise the entire student population as drunk idiots.”

To which Stuff presumably “challenge accepted”.

replied,

issue 20

News and Columns

07

Vested interests and kamikaze presidents Nicola Braid The middle of Trimester Two brought Salient’s favourite time of year, VUWSA’s Annual General Meeting.

Not only is the association required to stage an AGM every year, but it was a chance for students, and we quote VUWSA’s Facebook event, to “learn about the work of your VUWSA exec team, have a say on proposed changes to our constitution, and share your stories on course-related costs”.

What resulted was a relatively cordial discussion between President Rick Zwaan and a few participatory students featuring a kamikaze appearance from NZUSA President Rory McCourt, who, as one student put it, “doesn’t even go here”. The highlights for Salient included the one student who voted against every motion in a fit of pedantic peacocking, and being urged to accept free tickets to a shit Zac Efron film. VUWSA Clubs and Activities Officer “Naughty” Rory McNamara also tried to introduce a secret ballot to end NZUSA/ VUWSA squabbling once and for all.

While the students in attendance revelled in their access to free pizza, Zwaan was heard appealing to the Hub at large for “just one more person” to fill the AGM quorum.

However, most Hubbites were happy to simply maintain their perch by Vicbooks and watch Zwaan be accused of running a “Ricktatorship” and putting forward “classist” proposals.

Constitutional changes Some constitutional changes were made, and some weren’t. A lot of it had to do with legalease and subheadings becoming not subheadings and blah blah blah. According to our Twitter fanz, “If VUWSA wants the Constitution to be more readable they should just get Salient to write it”.

Your wish is our command.

Election spending VUWSA proposed to increase election spending limits for executive campaigns from the current $100 to $500. According to the association, the limit had never been been

changed to keep up with inflation. That, and it was hard for nominees to pay for campaign material with just $100 (which meant many nominees were just circumventing the limit anyway).

The proposal saw mixed reactions among audience members, the most memorable being “$500 is a shitload!” and claims that a cool half-grand was not a “legitimate cost” when considering the current levels of student hardship. There were also concerns that raising the limit could prevent students from running. As a result, a compromise was reached to raise the spending cap to $250, and despite some remaining “against” votes, the motion passed.

Referenda VUWSA also sought to introduce a constitutional clause that would ensure any decision to affiliate or disaffiliate with any outside groups had to be voted on and decided by members in a referendum. This is for deciding things like, I dunno, whether VUWSA will continue to be members of NZUSA. What resulted was a pro-NZUSA/antiNZUSA spat. NZUSA President Rory McCourt, who had somehow been given speaking rights, expressed his concern that the clause would not be introduced until after VUWSA’s scheduled/promised referendum regarding its decision to leave NZUSA. Other audience members questioned whether the membership levy VUWSA has to pay NZUSA would be “put into context” (it’s $45,000 annually, although VUWSA is paying around $33,000 because it plans to leave NZUSA in September. This represents around five per cent of VUWSA’s operating budget).

Vic student and former Salient editor Stella Blake-Kelly dubbed McCourt’s failure to identify his vested interest in NZUSA as “underhanded and unfair”. Crowd members responded by asking why McCourt was present if he was no longer a student, and Zwaan tried to assure members that the referendum changes were all democratic and very much above board. Zwaan noted the move would ensure decisions were made by

students rather than just the Exec, and that the decisions would be binding. The motion was carried to sighs of relief.

Zwaan later told Salient that McCourt’s presence “was somewhat frustrating because AGMs are meant to be about members...

Universities New Zealand wouldn’t get involved in an individual university’s processes.”

Zwaan refused to say which which way he will vote in the upcoming referendum on NZUSA membership. Salient invited Zwaan to “blink twice if you’re voting to stay”.

Salient can confirm that Zwaan did not blink twice.

However, Zwaan was full of inspiring words for students planning to vote in the referendum. “Students should actively engage in this process and, y’know, do their own research and look at what NZUSA is doing and think about is this worthwhile or not and um and come up, y’know, with their own decision on it,” he said.

Executive Remuneration The Exec also proposed to acquire control over their own pay and job descriptions— rather than having these be subject to an AGM as they are currently. The rationale for this move, according to Zwaan, was to amend the current pay disparity between vice-presidents and officers. Current pay rates see officers paid $2000 annually, for what is an estimated 10 hours of work per week. Any pay changes would take place the following year, to mitigate conflicts of interest. Zwaan insisted that there were no actual pay increases being proposed, just a change in process.

The crowd, however, was less than receptive to the proposal. Comments from the audience included “I’d just like to say that it seems fucking shit” and “this seems completely ridiculous”. McCourt took another chance to pipe in, claiming, as a student politician, that “you shouldn’t trust us to choose our pay ourselves”. Unsurprisingly, the notion that VUWSA would choose its future Exec’s pay did not pass; Exec members were the only attendees to vote in favour. editor@salient.org.nz

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salient

News and Columns

Ask Agatha Hi Agatha, My ex and I wanted to explore anal intercourse. We bought lube from Peaches and Cream and tried our best… after a couple of fingers I put my jewel in her back door, only to have her leap forward releasing her buttock’s grip of my willy. We tried again a week later when she was drunk and randy. Only to have the same result: her saying it hurt too much. Any advice on how I can slot it in with more success, albeit with a new girl?

Thanks, Anal Agonist.

There’s some serious prep work and a level of trust associated with letting someone in their private exit. Most importantly is that people who haven’t stayed in a bottom bunk before may be a little anxious about dropping their bowl of chocolate ice cream if the top bunk rocks the bed too much. You need to find out their bottom line; what they want from you and how you can make them feel comfortable and prepared.

Maybe you’re the issue? I would suggest that you take some time for some selfreflection to consider why someone would not invite you into their chamber of secrets.

Good luck with your anal meditation, Agatha.

Hey there AA,

Hey Agatha,

A lot of people are nervous about ~aNaL~. It’s not just a matter of knocking at the back door and muscling your way in. You need to give a gal some warning.

My flatmates are super loud. They stomp down the hallway and have friends over that yell talk until all hours and leave a mess wherever they go. What can I do to

keep myself sane?

Fed up Flatmate.

Hi FF, You have two options. You first option is to get some earplugs, which will probably save your relationship with your flatmate.

Your second option is to set your flatmate up for a fall. To stop them from running down the hallway, raise a section of the carpet into a ridge or lay booby-traps in their path. In order to limit their social yammering in your personal space, you need to ruin your flatmate’s friendships.

Try telling everyone that they’re sniffing around their BFF’s ex. Lastly, start giving positive reinforcement any time they actually do clean anything. Try something simple like chocolate buttons. That’ll do it.

Good luck with your flatmate fuckery, Agatha.

The Week in Feminism

Architecture and anti-abortion hysteria Brittany Mackie-Ellice Abeer Seikaly is a Canadian-born architect and designer. In 2013 she won the Lexus Design Award for an amazing tent-like structure that has the potential to change millions of lives. People are constantly battling with their environments, especially in places where they cannot afford Western housing with an insulated roof and walls.

Based on this fact, Seikaly has created a simple design that can close out the cold and rain, and also allows cool air to flow and provide shade in hot weather. These multipurpose tents could hold the key for the survival of millions of displaced people. She says her design was inspired by elements of nature and traditional cultural aspects like weaving, tented communities and people following the nomadic life. The top of the tent is covered in solar panels which store the sun’s energy and turns it into electricity to be used at night. There are pockets in the sides which collect rainwater for bathing and drinking.

All in all, this is an amazing design that shows a deep understanding of the environmental conditions that many people are forced to live in following natural disasters, civil wars and the effects of climate

www.salient.org.nz

change. Seikaly designed these tents with refugees in mind—people that can set it up anywhere and feel some kind of protection from their surroundings.

As the Republican debates and campaigns have been taking place, a lot of the candidates’ claims have *thankfully* been called out as utter shit. Despite the slight differences in their campaigns, the candidates were able to agree on one thing—that abortion in America should be illegal and that the candidates will take measures to ensure this happens if they win. We have seen Republican presidential candidates vow to give full constitutional rights to a fertilised egg, and have pledged to use their power if elected to ban abortion in all circumstances, including rape, incest, or to save a woman’s life.

There have been all kinds of claims made against pro-choice groups, including the claim that they sell on the tissue from aborted foetuses (in fact this was done as part of a research programme on stem cells and was done at the patient’s request). The idea of the state having the power to force a woman to carry a pregnancy to full term at the risk of her life or wellbeing is abhorrent and should never have been mentioned, let alone discussed as a potential law. The topic of abortion deserves respect, sensitivity and most of all, empathy. It should not be thrown around in campaigns to gain the vote of like-minded bigots.

This anti-abortion hysteria has become the norm for Republican candidates and it threatens American women’s physical and mental wellbeing, as well as their human rights.

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News and Columns

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the next morning will always be shit Nicola Braid A team of international researchers from Canada and the Netherlands have studied hangover symptoms and found that there is no real hangover cure. (NOT EVEN DRINKING WATER.) Over 800 students were surveyed and 54 per cent ate food after drinking (including bad food and breakfasts) in their attempts to avoid hangovers, while more than half drank water before going to bed.

Although previous studies have claimed that approximately 25 per cent of drinkers don’t ever get hangovers (jog on), Utrecht University professor Dr Joris Verster insists that the relationship is more straightforward: “the more you drink, the more likely you are to get a hangover”.

“Drinking water may help against thirst and a dry mouth, but it will not take away the misery, the headache and the nausea,” Verster said.

The true causes of a hangover remain murky (much like your memories of last night), with the Mayo Clinic listing possible causes from alcohol producing more urine, alcohol causing low blood sugar, and liquor containing congeners and/or irritating the lining of the stomach.

Other studies have found that a build up of the compound acetaldehyde, a byproduct of the body processing alcohol, may produce hangover-like symptoms.

According to a Southern Cross Health Society poll two months ago, 61 per cent of Wellingtonians had gone to work hungover, while 35 per cent of us had pulled a sickie due to the effects of the night before. (Don’t worry though, Dunedin is waaayyy worse.)

The survey also found that people were most likely to call on water, pain relief, coffee and greasy breakfasts as their cure.

Research from the Salient office has produced the following suggestions:

1. A kebab in bed with a cup of tea (although you will find barbecue sauce on your pillow) 2. A banana, one panadol, one nurofen, and water before falling asleep 3. Water, coffee, TV 4. Peanut butter on toast when you get home, run in the morning 5. Blue Powerade, fried chicken and a walk in the cold the next day 6. Grilled cheese when you get home 7. Juice of a whole lemon in water the next morning 8. Drink White Russians, the milk helps your stomach.

editor@salient.org.nz

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salient

News and Columns

We Drank This So You Wouldn’t Have To Lydia and Mitch

Osteria del Toro Mojito Cost: $12 ~combo~ Alcohol volume: Mostly ice and mint leaves Pairing: gr8 porchetta in a ciabatta bun Verdict: “Can we eat this with our hands?

Fuck it.”

Okay, we should start with an apology.

We’re slack and we’re sorry. We understand that a $12 mojito at a bar isn’t part of our “cheap booze to drink from the bottle” brief but we have our reasons. It was Wednesday, we had already missed our deadline for this magazine, and we had spent the entire day in the library trying to pass at least half of our courses to keep getting StudyLink.

You should know by now that eating food is an important part of staying alive and probably an important part of drinking in moderation and also not in moderation if that’s what is happening in your life right now. To that end, drink and food deals that make you feel like you’re saving money are a great innovation. Whether or not you’re actually pinching those pennies is beside the point—if it’s got a minor pun in the name and a jazzy poster it’s probably a good time.

This one was called “Pig and Mojito” which, though lacking in creativity, should be applauded for its honesty. If you don’t know Osteria del Toro then good, because neither did we and we don’t like feeling left out.

The fancy interior and vaguely European staff might have made us feel out of place but were luckily offset by the weed smoke emanating from the vaguely European backpackers next door.

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Getting down to business, the mojito was good and the pork was excellent. Cocktails are a confusing time for us because they are very ice-involved and often include flavours other than “regret”. This one was nice and the rum didn’t remind us too strongly of Hope Bros so that’s a success. The bun was also good because it felt nice not eating packet food mixed with boiling water for once.

As with all things in life, these dazzling highs are often accompanied by crippling lows. For every successful pork bun on a Wednesday, you get a dozen irritated wait staff informing you that the chicken wings are only for parties over five and the beer is a half-pint (FOR SHAME). For both the good and the bad emotions at once you can go to Golding’s on Wednesday and wait ages for delicious cheap pizza to drink with your delicious expensive beer. Wellington’s hospitality scene is large, it contains multitudes.

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News and Columns

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0800 Oh my God just let me add to my debt Alexa Zabolinsky Most of our readers will be familiar with the dulcet tones of Dave Dobbyn or Zed songs playing over and over while you wait for a customer service rep TO JUST TELL YOU WHAT YOUR REALME LOGIN IS. However, the interminably shit experience that is Studylink may have got a bit better.

After a three-year long collaboration the New Zealand Union of Students’ Association (NZUSA) has worked with the Government to improve call wait times, as well as online services.

StudyLink has reportedly reduced its number of unanswered calls by over 99 per cent, from 800,000 to less than 8,000; reduced application times by 30 minutes for up to 60,000 students; and introduced a digital delivery system for paperwork.

NZUSA President Rory McCourt said the association sought to ensure more loans and allowances were paid to students before Orientation.

“That’s the bottom line for us—that this service works like it should so that students can begin their courses without worrying about whether they’re going to be able to pay rent that week,” McCourt said.

Associate Social Development Minister Jo Goodhew has championed the improvements stating that “three years of collaboration between Studylink and the national student union has allowed us to respond to student feedback and the resulting improvements have made the online application experience a lot better”.

Various students have come forward saying that they view these changes as an improvement to an already good system, and look forward to improved dealings with Studylink in the future.

“I think it’s helpful,” says one student. “It reduces some of the anxiety for waiting for your loan to be approved, especially if you’re like me and prone to leaving things a bit late.”

Another student claimed that the problems Studylink faced in the past came predominantly from ill-prepared and irresponsible tertiary students, and that these improvements are not coming from a place of carelessness. “I think they do the best they possibly can considering the volume of use”.

Avoid lifts, animals, and the outdoors Universities across the country are making it harder for students to dramatically mangle themselves.

After the recent passage of the Health and Safety Reform Bill, most workplaces (including universities) are being encouraged to review their health and safety policies.

A number of health and safety incidents have been reported to the University this year, including fires, bits of buildings being blown off by the wind, vehicle accidents involving VUW staff and students, animal bites, lethal office equipment, and a variety of slips, trips and falls.

In one memorable incident during O-Week, 20 first-years packed into an elevator in Kathryn Jermyn Hall, causing the elevator to get stuck and two of the freshers to faint.

At the University of Otago, repeated incidents have occurred in and around the ridiculous death trap known as the Commerce Building.

Dozens of injuries have occurred in the building between 1993 and 2014. Accidents listed included a torn liver, fractured spine, broken elbow and a fractured pelvis, among others.

As a result the University of Otago plead guilty last week to a health and safety prosecution case, paying out $60,000 to student Katherine Casey who broke her pelvis and back on the building’s tiles.

For emergencies on campus call security on 0800 VIC 8888—if it’s lifethreatening then obviously call 111 immediately. To report incidents or concerns, email safety@vuw.ac.nz. editor@salient.org.nz

Letters

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Letter of the Week: Pusha B (Grade) ... amirite?

Oi, So I read Kate Robertson’s article “Errbody got beef with Drake” and I’m not impressed with the expression of a certain sentiment. I’m not a fan of Drake at all, but let me just cut straight to the point- the fuck do you mean Pusha T has had a “B-Grade career”? Do you realize he was in a group with Malice called ‘Clipse’ who were responsible for string of albums which achieved commercial and more ‘real heads’ acclaim in the 2000’s? Putting out albums which have been widely acclaimed as classics by hip-hop fans is usually the sign of a pretty successful career in hip-hop funnily enough. The fact that Pusha is one of the only current dudes with mainstream exposure spitting some real nasty cold shit is an even bigger credit to the dude’s career- especially in this climate of the rampant softness of which Drake is at the forefront of. As a side note, he also alluded to Drake having ghostwriters long before this latest drama blew up.

Hip-hop is underdog music, so it is damaging to it’s core to dismiss one artist as ‘irrelevant’ simply because he isn’t spoken about as much by a bunch of trendy folks who are actually pretty naive of great emcees. To paraphrase the great Roc Marciano “Do your research or you’ll be six feet beneath dirt” Rest in Peace to Sean Price I’m out.

Signed- Thoughtfoul Letter of the Week receives two coffee vouchers and a $10 book voucher from Vic books.

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Breaktivist

Some of us are good people

Dear Salient,

Dear Salient,

All I Wanted Was a Break!

After being laid in bed after catching a case of affluenza on the campaign trail, I came across your magazine while I was hurling half-digested caviar into my solid gold toilet. And I was disgusted to learn that you’d given an entire issue to women. What a joke. A woman couldn’t run a mile, let alone a magazine. At least not when they’re on their knees, as I always see ‘em.

After all VUWSA has been angry about the past year seems to be misguided, all efforts should have been put into the 2016 Victoria University dates for Trimester One 2016, because it is a disaster!

In Week 4 of the Trimester Easter happens and so inconceivably we get Thursday to Wednesday off. Then after Week 8 we actually get the Mid-Trimester break. However it only lasts one week!

This is a really dumb layout for anyone rich enough to be able to blow the course related costs on an overseas holiday, or just anybody who wants to go home.

Sincerely I cant watch all my lectures and 2 TV series in a week

When I blow into office, cowlick sweaty and erect with hard-earned accomplishment (note to self: remember to send Father’s Day card), your “progressive” articles are gonna be history. I can end you just I did Jon Stewart. You’d better watch where you talk shit, cause soon I’m gonna own all your asses. Clinton, Rubio, even that butterball Huckabee. And Sanders? He’d better #feeltheburn...when he gets fired!

O-hooo, snap! I was on TV once.

In conclusion, Vote Trump: isn’t about time we had a millionaire as president?

What’s good?

After catching a case of appropriation-itis from Miley Cyrus at the VMAs, I came across your magazine while I was hurling half-digested caviar into my solid gold toilet. And I gotta say, I am lovin’ what y’all are doing.

I’m rich fuck you, Donald J. Trump

Equal opportunity shaming!

Dear salient,

As I said in my announcement speech last week, people should listen to the kids.

They should be LISTENIN’. Cause you guys are all about ideas, bro! New ideas!

People with ideas! People who believe in truth! As my wife Kim Kierkegaardashian once said “I’m not trying to shade anyone, but it is my destiny to discourse on truth in such a way that all authority is simultaneously demolished, (hope I’m looking at the right Twitter).

While I heartily enjoyed the women’s issue I was sad to read the column about “How To Not Look Like A First Year”.

While I agree with bashing first years as much as the next entitled and tragic post grad it made me sad to see that all characteristics described were pointed towards only shaming women. It’s not like you have a lack of material with first year boys, so was a bit disappointing to see just women getting slammed in an issue celebrating feminism.

In short, Vote West: cause shutter-shade sight is 2020, you dig?

Yours sincerely, A proud White Sandal Girl

Peace in the Middle West, Kanye J. West

Salient welcomes, encourages, and thrives on public debate—be it serious or otherwise—through its letters page. Letters must be received before 4pm on Thursday for publication the following week. Letters must be no longer than 250 words. Pseudonyms are fine, but all letters must include your real name, address and telephone number—these will not be printed. Letters will not be corrected for spelling or grammar. The Editor reserves the right to edit, abridge, ordecline any letters without explanation.

Email: editor@salient.org.nz Post: Salient, c/- Victoria University of Wellington Hand-delivered: Salient office, Level 3, Student Union Building (behind the Hunter Lounge)

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News and Columns

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THAT M A ES I R

ER TT

STO

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Public transport porn Taipei’s equivalent of the Snapper, the EasyCard, will henceforth feature the smiling face of Japanese pornstar Yui Hatano. The star-based card can be purchased in both a “devil” and an “angel” edition, in the hope of conveying a “fresh, healthy and beautiful image”. EasyCard spokesperson Lin Hsiao-chi claimed that the cards are suitable for collecting and fit into your wallet, so that “when you look at it, it will cheer you up”.

What’s in a Name?

This sounds ex-sauce-ting

Parents can now hire the Swiss company Erflgswelle to provide them with a list of unused baby names, so their child will never be seen as a simple “Khaleesi” or “Bo”. The corporation employs a number of lawyers, historians, translators and naming experts (?) to ensure that your baby’s name doesn’t match up with any existing companies and products. And it’s cool, because you only have to spend US$31,000 for 15–25 suggested names.

Erflgswelle: the human equivalent of the username generator on Pottermore. Pottermore.

The World Gravy Wrestling Champions have taken place again in Lancashire, England for the eighth year in a row. The competition featured 22 contestants, including the Taxman, Mad Cow and Captain Bisto, who all tussled in 1,500 litres of a condiment sourced from a nearby black pudding factory. Sadly, the wrestling no longer takes in real gravy as organisers “found the meat smell attracted wasps”.

What a dick The Upstanding King Tut An Egyptology expert has claimed that the mummy Tutankhamun was buried with his penis standing at a ninetydegree angle, an everlasting erection. The Egyptologist, Salima Ikram, claims that the mummy was “positioned” so as to look like Osiris, the god of the afterlife. Unfortunately, the upright member is thought to have been broken off during the discovery of the tomb—which we think, is a real phallus-y.

Stuart Valentino has recently undergone laser surgery to remove the 6.5 inch penis he drunkenly tattooed on his own inner thigh after his wife, who gifted him the tattoo gun for Christmas, left him after the culmination of his long-running pranks. Stuart’s other marvels include slapping his family with a fish, making his wife vomit by trying to eat cat faeces, and drawing a monkey face on his wife’s behind while she was sleeping.

editor@salient.org.nz

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Tinder As A Laxative: An iPhone Love Story SHARON LAM Scientists say that the blue light from cellphones inhibits melatonin production, which screws up your inner circadian rhythm, hence why staring at your phone for long periods of time can make it hard to sleep at night. You know what else can keep you up all night? Love. Love has robbed many of a good night’s sleep, and makes you do crazy things like taking your phone into the bath. But the happiness is worth the risk and that is what makes it love.

Sometime in the past three years I became dependent on my phone’s company and I can no longer picture my life without it. They are the one beside me in bed at night and the first thing I see in the morning. They’re by my side all day and there to share the most important moments of my life—breakfast, lunch and dinner. However, romance is a fickle thing and too much time together can poison what was once beautiful.

In order to reassess my relationship with my phone and to hopefully strengthen it, I carefully In the age of the sixth generation iPhone, I am reflected upon a day of our life together and just one of many who have found themselves then a day of separation, following an absenceunintentionally in love with their phone. makes-the-heart-grow-fonder philosophy. www.salient.org.nz

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Day 1: iPhone and I 9:30am: I usually set about seven different alarms with fifteenminute increments and after a long battle snooze-buttoning through all of these, I will eventually wake up enough to skim-scroll through various social network feeds in bed. This is a pleasure we have only recently been afforded and it is truly beautiful that the very first thoughts I have of the day are about Lenny Kravitz’s cock ring. Could that have ever happened during the so-called Renaissance?

9:35am: It seems insane to me that people have the ability to wear clothes other than what they slept in to class. Luckily I have my phone with me to listen to upbeat music to boost my mental capacity as I walk to university. By the time I get there, thanks to Mariah Carey, I am somewhat functioning as an awake human.

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12:00pm: I have a great time at lunch with my friend who has the same phone that I have, which is the core foundation of our friendship. Our food arrives and we take identical photos of our meal, but apply different filters to maintain individuality. We poorly recite memorised podcast fragments to each other. She is stunned when I tell her that Matcha tea is actually a key reason why the American prison system doesn’t work, and I am equally as enlightened when she tells me seven reasons why drinking water is actually really bad for you. What did people talk about before they had cellphones?

12:45pm: I say goodbye to my friend and promise to Snapchat her a photo of my front door to let her know I’ve gotten home safely. I have yet to check Facebook for the day and the first order of business is

9:45am: There is some crazy statistic about the number of people who meet their (human) life partner at university, and because of my frequent phone use in class, it is very likely that this will happen to me too. This is how it will go: I will be in a lecture googling “Mike Wazowski memes super funny” and an underwear model sitting behind me will see this over my shoulder and immediately fall in love. Then we will walk off into the sunset sharing funny photos of dogs over Airdrop. Until this happens, however, I will continue to spend lectures Googling common interests I wish for my dream lover and I to share.

10:30am: Time flies when you go to lectures 20 minutes late every day. After class, my phone and I return home where I have a shower and they serenade me with more Mariah Carey. Then I make coffee and eggs, switching from Mariah to a podcast. Experts estimate that 65 per cent of conversations today are just people parroting back podcasts. Never one to disrespect the art of conversation, I listen intently to what Matcha tea as a fad tells us about society. I am so excited to appear super interesting and clever when I retell the podcast inaccurately and less eloquently to friends later.

11:30am: Another thing I heard in a podcast was that Matcha tea helps your bowels to keep regular pooping habits. Another thing I heard in a podcast was about a man called Pavlov and his dog.

Combine the two, and you will understand how I have come to use Tinder as a laxative. Like everyone else, my phone is a staple toilet companion, and over time I have somehow conditioned myself to be unable to poo until I’ve swiped left to everyone aged 20–27 within 19km of me. Now this is the true beauty of Tinder—not the hiding of rejection, but being able to use strangers’ faces to aid your bowel movements without them ever knowing.

11:45am: After twenty-six text messages, I manage to successfully make plans to have lunch with a friend. Before text, it would have perhaps taken me one minute on a landline voice call. Thank goodness technology has progressed.

to “attend” a few events I’ll never go to. I start with an acquaintance’s culturally questionable themed party. Since it’s been almost 12 hours since I last “attended” an event, I also “attend” a poetry reading at Meow to be safe—it is important to keep up a consistent number of apparent public appearances, otherwise the thin digital veneer over my hermit reality will evaporate.

12:55pm: While in business mode I also see on my feed that an ex has changed his profile picture, so I take the time to search for signs that he is a broken man. Squinting, I can pretend that he was clearly crying before the photo was taken and I take solace in this imaginary fact.

1:10pm: I also notice there are still those who are wishing people “happy birthday” via Facebook—from this I deduce that they are still living in medieval times, so I take note of their names in case I want to barter excess potatoes for some of their chickens.

3:00pm: I wake up from my nap completely disoriented and a bit queasy. Thankfully, my phone reminds me that in preparation for our day apart tomorrow, I should go to the library to get a book for the long, unoccupied hours. editor@salient.org.nz

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DAY 2: Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow 12:30pm: Without my phone, I have no way of setting an alarm but I awake at the crack of dawn anyway. I want to check my phone to see what’s the latest with celebrity cock rings but alas, I know I need to set it aside for the day.

12:45pm: I am not sure if I have class or what day it is without my phone so I go back to sleep.

1:30pm: I get out of bed. Pooping is out of the question. Without Matt, Jack, Tom and their Hondas and imaginary abs, I may as well not have eaten a strand of fibre my entire life. Instead I have a quiet Mariah Carey-less shower. It is strange to shampoo without 90s RnB and I feel incredibly empty inside. While I do sound just like Mariah when I sing, it is a lonely performance without her accompaniment and I finish conditioning in silence.

3:17pm: I reach the library and begin browsing Russian literature while listening to N’Sync. Paired like a crisp white wine and fresh seafood, both the books and the music appear more vivid together than each alone. It is bittersweet that I am here to find an impending replacement for my phone, but it shows no resentment as I issue out Anna Karenina, shuffling onto the band’s upbeat hit “Girlfriend”.

4:00pm: Back at home, I open up the notes capability on my phone to check what I’ve jotted down for this very article. With my phone always on hand, it is also a great place to record lucrative ideas such as “day of the week undies but with the seven deadly sins” and “t-shirt with weed leaf and the word oregano underneath”. Finally there are also a lot of lists, such as a very indecisive grocery list: “Bread?

Diet coke. Rice?” and one titled “2015”, which simply lists “Joaquin Phoenix”, “dudebro” and “survive solely on spaghetti”.

6:00pm: I spend the time until now deciphering my own notes and attempting to start writing this piece, which perhaps surprisingly involves watching a lot of YouTube videos. Dinner soon beckons and thanks to the handy size of my phone, I can cook alongside a how-to cooking video hosted by a Japanese toy poodle.

8:00pm–12:00am: I never know what happens between these hours, they always seem to disappear very quickly without me having accomplished anything at all. Siri doesn’t know the answer either.

12:00am: I am about to go to bed, but first I check Wikipedia to see what the girl who played Matilda is up to.

2:00am: I am reading the Wikipedia article on Hungarian female serial killers.

2:30am: I fall asleep very scared.

2:00pm: The emptiness continues, and the sadness deepens. I stare blankly into space, wondering what is happening to me. Without Google, Wikihow or YouTube tutorials, I have no idea what to do or how to feel. I cannot even cry, because without an illustrated guide, I do not know how. Slowly, I realise the source of my sadness is from hunger.

2:15pm: I remember that I can buy food from the supermarket.

2:20pm: I bump into someone I know outside Moore Wilson’s.

Without my daily podcast, I have no idea what to say to them.

They stare at me blankly as I stand there with my mouth wide open, dribbling slightly. I finally manage to say “flag referendum”. They say that they have to get going. “TPPA!” I yell after them.

2:25pm: Without my phone nor any means to record a shopping list, I have no idea at all what I am doing inside a supermarket. I start stocking shelves and assisting customers out of confusion. I clean the toilets and clean the spill in the pasta aisle. Before I know it, my shift is over and Carol tells me I was great today. Her compliment gives me the validation I need in the lack of online likes and favourites.

3:30pm: I return back home, hungry but a great employee. I find some leftover quiche and eat it cold, the absence of my phone also leading me to forget that microwaves exist.

3:40pm: I spend some time staring out the window, reminiscing about the good times I have had with my phone. Reminded of our outing to the library the day before, I start reading Anna Karenina.

4:00pm: Anna Karenina is wild. This is almost as good as Lost. Yet I feel lost, without my many Twitter followers or people I haven’t seen since high school on Facebook to share the news with. If one reads Anna Karenina and doesn’t tweet about it, have they read it at all?

How did Tolstoy even get a publishing deal without being famous on Instagram first?

4:10pm: Holy crap, Anna Karenina is pregnant with Vronsky’s child!

Still, without an outlet, I start to lose it. I open the window and yell “Anna Karenina is pregnant” at pedestrians below. Everyone avoids eye contact. I yell “TPPA” again.

5:30pm: I continue reading until I begin to feel itchy. I am itchy

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because without my phone I cannot update my moss photography blog. I feel guilty for my fans who are are probably wondering what has happened to me and why I haven’t posted any attractive-looking lichens today. I can only hope that the lack of lichens won’t result in any of the fans developing their own rashes. Moss photography is, of course, a very real dependency and I begin to worry for the livelihood of my fans. This worsens the itchiness and soon I am scratching so much that I am bleeding. I can’t even go to the doctor because I can’t make an appointment without my phone. I think I’m going to die.

5:45pm: I run out onto the street bloody and confused. For some reason there are a lot of branches and leaves in my hair too and mud on my face. Without my phone, I don’t know where to go for help and my inner primitive compass awakens, leading the way to salvation. I end up at the Bucket Fountain.

6:15pm: The police have arrived to coax me down from the top of the Bucket Fountain and to put my clothes back on. I can’t stop yelling “TPPA” and “podcast”.

6:30pm: 3 News is here now and they are interviewing me about my ingenious one-woman anti-TPPA, social media-savvy protest.

I repeat “Facebook” into the microphone several times in different accents. My rash is acting up again, this time from the lack of seeing that magical red notification circle. Seeing the blinking red light on the camera triggers this and I leap at the cameraperson, snarling.

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is a cruel irony in how it is a lack of cellular device has finally gifted me with digital fame.

7:10pm: I am now the latest, hottest meme. If I had my phone to tell me of this, it would have been the happiest moment of my life.

7:15pm: I escape the crowds by shouting “look, the new flag!” and pointing into the distance.

7:30pm: I start feeling sad again and remember that this means I must be hungry. For the first time I feel I am beginning to learn to live without my phone. I settle on roast duck from KCs. However as I wait for my order, I feel restless and paranoid without my phone to look at. There are no self-indulgent thinkpieces to read or BuzzFeed quizzes to tell me where I should live according to my canned soup preference. As I look frantically around, I accidentally make eye contact with a bear.

7:30pm: The bear from KCs has taken me under her care and after some strategic rationing of my roast duck with the sleuth, I have already risen to the position of the beta female.

7:45pm: I am now officially living in the Wellington Botanic Gardens with my new bear family. I can’t even remember what my phone looks like, and I feel a sense of freedom I haven’t felt since the days of VHS. The only thing that could make me happier now is if Vice would write an article about me.

7:00pm: Unbeknown to me, I am now a viral YouTube sensation for my altercation with the news crew. Ignorance is bliss indeed, for there editor@salient.org.nz

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salient

Fashion Slaeve Jess Scott As a girl with the immune system of your average geriatric, who consistently ends up rampantly ill before every major exam and social event of her existence, it was only typical that I contracted strep throat two days before New Zealand Fashion Week. Especially after scoring a free front-row ticket to the first New Generation show, being offered both a custom-designed Slaeve dress to wear to it, and accommodation in their after-party apartment for the week. Cue a soul-destroying, week-long case of FOMO. Everything was too perfect to be true, so karma decided to kick my arse for mentioning my flatmate’s cardigan-clad boyfriend in my “What to do when your boy toy dresses like shit” column after they both specifically requested I not do so. (Speaking of which, cardigan-clad flatmate’s boyfriend—I appreciated your response letter, but cannot help feeling that it could have been more efficiently communicated via morse code from the other side of my bedroom wall...)

A week I had envisioned spending tottering about a trashed hotel room at the several-day-long Slaeve after-party/ bender, in a drunken, platform-clad haze, surrounded by male models, was instead vicariously experienced via snap stories and Instagram posts. I spent it sulking in a blanket cocoon, doped up to my eyeballs on antibiotics, bitterly complaining at anything/one who would listen.

Subsequently, what was supposed to be an envy-inducing recount of fashion shows and after parties that you weren’t invited to, is instead a lapse in the usual sass and satire, to discuss super cool stuff that the brilliantly talented Ezekiel “Zeke” Crawford, designer of Slaeve, is doing, before returning to slandering Nike slides and bucket hats next issue.

Three months ago, I received word from Zeke, a rather close pal of mine, that he had been offered the opportunity to showcase his designs at NZFW. The catch was, to do so he had two days to come up with $4500. Short of selling one of his kidneys on the internet, robbing a bank or getting the dodgiest backstreet loan imaginable, I had very little faith that this was within the realms of possibility.

Contrary to absolutely everyone’s advice that he was being ridiculously over-ambitious, Zeke managed to raise three grand in the first 24 hours alone.

And so, Slaeve emerged. A unisex, androgynous streetwear label, characterised by its deceptively simple silhouettes and www.salient.org.nz

Photo credit: New Zealand Fashion Week

monochrome palette, with a subversive edge. Slaeve aims to create gender neutral clothing, without conforming to the usual tropes of “androgynous” dressing, which typically employ a more masculine aesthetic, putting everyone in pants and shapeless, boxy silhouettes. A personal advocate of what he refers to as “man-skirts”, Zeke’s work challenges fashion’s existing notions of gender conformity.

Slaeve was significantly the only unisex collection shown at NZFW 2015, following a wave of international designers removing gender-differentiation from their clothing, both reflecting and solidifying the increasing social awareness and acceptance of the fluidity of gender and identity. Gender is no longer viewed as a binary, and fashion is following these social and political changes accordingly. Such can be seen within the collaboration between British department store, Selfridges, and Nicola Formichetti, creating the unisex “store-within-a-store” space, Agender, exclusively stocking gender neutral brands such as Formichetti’s Nicopanda, Hood by Air and Ann Demeulemeester; with the project advocated by trans model Hari Nef. Slaeve’s AW16 collection featured long, colour-blocked layers, in jersey fabrics, contrasted with neoprene and mesh.

These unusual fabric choices served to emphasise the sportto-streetwear vibe of the collection, as materials typically used within, and associated with sportswear. Long-line tees were paired with shin-length tube skirts, knee-grazing shorts were layered with leggings. Neoprene jogger pants were contrasted with raw-edged, asymmetrical layers, screaming urban sports luxe. Simple silhouettes were juxtaposed with face masks, Raf Simon sneakers, Y3s and

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Docs, harking to the brand’s strong streetwear influence.

The monochrome palette was offset by bold, contrasting prints, featuring subversive typography and distorted, barely recognisable portraits of Frida Kahlo. Between the print-work, unique fabric choices and unusual tailoring details, including a collarless jacket; Slaeve sets itself apart from the flood of monochromatic streetwear labels, with subtle quirks and precise attention to detail. Hair and makeup was kept clean and minimalistic, a blank canvas for the clothing to aesthetically dominate.

Slaeve debuted within one of two New Generation shows held this year, group showcases displaying the latest wave of fresh talent, enabling young designers the opportunity to show within NZFW without literally bankrupting themselves.

Whilst full-time studying second year Architecture at the University of Auckland, working part-time and managing to successfully function as a human being with some semblance of a social life, Zeke designed and sewed his entire 30-piece collection, styled and staged various promotional photo shoots and videos, created Slaeve’s website and online store, managed Slaeve’s various social media outlets, and organised two capsule collection drops to be released online, all in time for Fashion Week. Which just so happened to coincide with his hand-in week. No big deal. Next time you are staring at your unfinished assignment at 4.38am, crying into your sixth coffee of the evening, be inspired by this feat.

I have never in my tertiary career finished an essay before its due date. As I write this article, it is almost two days late (sorry Sam!!). Once I attempted to hand-sew a boned corset from scratch on the morning it was due to be presented and graded. How on earth Zeke managed to pull this off will never cease to amaze and/or inspire a deep-rooted sense of inadequacy in design students everywhere. Stay tuned whilst this kid literally takes over the world.

Photo credit: New Zealand Fashion Week

Slaeve’s next creative endeavour will be in collaboration with fellow New Generation designer Jordan Holliday, so hit up the Slaeve Facebook page, Instagram or slaeve. tumblr.com to get in the loop. His current collection can also be purchased from Slaeve.net (kindly link your badlydressed boyfriends).

2016 EUROPE EARLYBIRD SALE

STA TRAVEL VICTORIA UNIVERSITY Easterfield Building, Kelburn Campus 04 499 5033 victoriauniversity@stores.statravel.co.nz editor@salient.org.nz

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BLOODSPORT PHILIP MCSWEENEY

On 30 June of this year, after hours of meticulous planning, thousands of bribe-dollars and one serendipitous happenstance, Cecil—a thirteen-year-old lion—was lured from his animal sanctuary home and shot with an arrow by a U.S. dentist, Walter Palmer. You know the rest, so I’ll spare the more macabre details, but it bears repeating that Palmer, who shelled out at least fifty thousand American dollars for the dubious privilege, tracked the grievously injured lion for forty-two hours, presumably making notes in his diary like “I got that majestic and endangered son-of-a-bitch real good” and “this is fun, normal and American recreation… loving it!!!” before stumbling on what, at that stage, was probably minutes away from becoming his prey’s corpse. Palmer shot him anyway. Then he skinned and beheaded him, turning Cecil into a “trophy”. He took a touristic photo for good measure. www.salient.org.nz

When you read the facts above relayed like that, it’s not hard to see why his actions were roundly condemned for being sociopathic at best and abjectly barbaric at worst. Still, boy were his actions condemned. The Telegraph revealed his name and occupation, after which Facebook, Twitter, Reddit and presumably Instagram and Goodreads as well, bent over backwards to show their derision. “#CeciltheLion KILLER needs to be put to death and stuffed thru the asshole”, reads one tweet. Peggy Morgan echoed this sentiment: “I demand justice for Cecil the Lion… I know a few of you are absolute lunatics. Please get to work on this”. Mia “IDGAF” Farrow tweeted the address of his home, which was promptly vandalised. His Yelp ratings bombed; his website was DDoSed; his phone was amock with prank phone calls.

And, quite frankly, who cares? It’s hard for me to muster much

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for it made the whole thing feel a bit bizarre. But on the whole her public humiliation was—or at least, felt—good. Both women were fired from their positions. Justice reigned. Right?

The DNA of public displays of punishment, retribution, discipline etc., can probably be traced back as far as we can—shit, the notion first crops up in the second book of the Bible—but for the sake of keepin’ it anno Domini, I invoke the example of Rome, where criminals were publicly crucified or slowly beaten to death by gladiatorial souls. Fastforward a millennium: William Wallace was paraded through the streets before being (publicly) hung, drawn and quartered. Attending executions was deemed entertainment up until the Victorian Era. The fact that these acts occurred in public was not incidental. The visibility of the punishment, the surrounding audience, compounded the humiliation and degradation suffered by the punished person, enhancing the savage indignity of the whole affair, but what of the voyeurs? If you were being generous you might attribute their motives as deterrent—“there go I but for the grace of God”—but realistically? People get a kick out of other people suffering, especially those who deserve it. It appeals to the sense of justice our society has instilled in us.

Now we’re more civilised, though certain rituals still remain. You can drive to Te Kuiti and witness the prisoner cell outside the courthouse dubbed “the human zoo” by locals, visible to all, and even commune with these folk while the judge mulls over whether to return an “innocent” or “guilty” verdict, but we’ve mostly eradicated our forums for public bloodsport. Mostly.

Owing to the ubiquity of the internet and especially social media, stocks and pillories have been supplanted by tweets and poorlyconsidered Facebook posts that, thanks to the handy Prt Sc key, can never be obliterated. Google Plus is the new gallows (or it would be if it hadn’t been such a massive disaster; remember when people said it was going to usurp Facebook’s reach? LMAO).

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not a crotchety old Luddite here to lecture you about the perils of the internet and social media and the degeneracy of “e-interaction” and why you should stay off my pristine lawn. On the contrary, I’m of the opinion that the internet may be mankind’s most pivotal achievement. It’s not the tweeting, it’s how we’re tweeting: the way our brain releases endorphins, what triggers pleasurable responses, is something that the internet can passively manipulate. It’s tempting to blame the internet, but incendiary and outright bullying rhetoric has always permeated discourses both public and private; the internet just enables, or rather disables, certain inhibitions. sympathy for a deranged asshole with an inferiority complex.

Rachel Dolezal is another recent target of an internet-stoked pasquinade; when the NAACP leader was “outed” (her word) or “revealed” (most media’s word) as a white woman passing as black to gain a position of power, the socialmediasphere reacted with apoplexy or pop-psychology (“she must be mentally not there on some level… honestly, i just pity her”).

Pebbles Hooper’s spectacularly repulsive tweet ascribing the deaths of a family in Ashburton to “natural selection” generated similar outrage—although the predictable rape threats and gendered tweets like “natural selection should wipe out this slut” were a bit disquieting, and that Cam Slater publishes equally vile content and wins awards

Ah yes, the old “Online Disinhibition Effect”. The argument is that when you log on to the internet, you assume a different identity to the one you show in face-to-face interaction. This identity is invariably more irreverent, rude, uncivil and uncensored. Essentially, the theory is that going on the internet has the same effect on your inhibitions as being shit-faced (so you can imagine the havoc wrought by people drunk shitposting: don’t drink and tweet).

Originally a theory postulated by psychologist John Suler, studies have confirmed that it is an actual phenomenon. One study observed “a disconnect between the commentator’s identity and what he says… even what he believes”.

I think that the impact of this phenomenon on how we post on social editor@salient.org.nz

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It’s satisfying to think that certain people deserve harassment and vindicating when they get it. It’s also undeniably savage, and repercussions are rarely productive.

media is overstated. Consider how well-curated and moderated your Facebook or Twitter feed is, how easy it is to construct a very particular persona, how wary people are of deviating outside an “online brand”. When you add the possibility of anonymity into the mix however, the results can be devastating.

It’s not that cyber-anonymity is necessarily a bad thing, even if, as the famous meme goes, “on the internet nobody knows you’re a duck”. The potential for anonymity cements freedom of speech and, as research conducted in 2012 showed, enhances creativity by removing risk of personal judgement. Anonymity doesn’t just make dispatches from Syrian refugees possible—it’s responsible for your entire “poopoo_pepe_meme” folder.

But when you combine it with forums which foment and perpetuate things like misogyny and bullying behaviour, the worst case scenario is bound to occur, as it has, and does. In 2006, Megan Meier’s parents walked into their 13-year-old daughters’ room to find her in her closet, where she had hanged herself with a belt. Despite desperate attempts to revive her, she was pronounced dead at the scene. Twenty minutes earlier she sent her last message to “Josh”, an anonymous persona on Myspace, one of the many who riddled her inbox incessantly with threats and abuse: “you’re the kind of guy a girl commits suicide over”.

“Josh” turned out to be the mother of a former friend; aided by her perceived anonymity, this woman could say things as “Josh” that she could—or would—never say in person.

The same issue crops up again and again, most recently (that I can ascertain) with transgender game developer Rachel Bryk. On ask.fm, an anonymous forum, and 4chan’s video game board /vg/, her cries

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for help let to a flurry of abuse. “Jumping off a bridge isn’t rocket science,” reads one comment. On 23 April she did, becoming another piece of data in the staggeringly high rates of transgender suicide.

4chan’s /b/ (“random”) board, renowned and proud cesspit of the surface web is 100 per cent comprised of “anonymous” users, and has been since 2012, when “tripfagging” (users who generated a unique code to ensure the posts were discernibly theirs) was discontinued from the board. Such is /b/’s infamy that it draws a larger crowd than just basement-dwellers and Mountain Dew + Doritos enthusiasts— young women and teen women, hormones and sexual confusion palpable in every post, are drawn to post on the website, maybe for attention, maybe for shits and giggles. Often they remove articles of clothing so that 4chan users can get “wins”, after being commanded “tits or gtfo” or ‘“sharpie in pooper nao”. These same 4chan users then doxx (search for information about a person with the intent of publishing it for nefarious ends, or “lulz”) the unsuspecting user and share the resulting pictures with the victim’s family and friends—or use the tamer pictures to blackmail the person into “camming”, or into posting lewder photographs and it’s all, basically, a sea of shit.

Predictably, more than one victim of such a scheme has committed suicide. The most famous example is Amanda Todd, who, as an impressionable 13-year-old, flashed her breasts online on omegle.

The picture made its way to /b/, where it was disseminated at a rate of knots, having the especial allure of not just being “win”, but being “cheese pizza” (codified language for child pornography). Following her suicide, there was a thread discussing the incident: “stupid bitch got what she deserved… does she think she can just show her tits and have no consequences?” Look, in the distance! Is that a humane

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comment? “You guys are fucking stupid and worthless edgelords.”

But wait: “if we keep doxxing the girls that give us wins, how are we going to get any more? you’ve just scared off every girl on the planet. fucking newfags”. Oh. It’s not that cyber-bullying and calling people out on Twitter are strictly analogous—I’m not saying Kony was cyber-bullied because he happened to be the internet’s most hated for one day—but the psychological mechanisms behind both are pretty damn similar.

It feels good to be part of an ideological crusade when you’re in the right; it feels good to get validation from your peers. It also often crosses the border from “noble cause” to “idle entertainment” because, shit, it’s entertaining to craft that perfect insult or crushing riposte. It feels good seeing other people decimate someone you disagree with.

This very human foible is easy to exploit. Both Stormfront (a neo-Nazi organization) and JIDF (“Jewish Internet Defense Force”; a kind of arch-Zionist organization dedicated to covering up atrocities in Palestine and eliminating anti-Israeli people in positions of power) are aware of the effect pile-ons can have, and encourage their members to mobilize en masse to “denigrate” their opponents in the hopes it will be persuasive to a non-neo-Nazi or non-Zionist public.

And here’s the thing: humans, as a rule, self-justify. The loathsome trolls on /b/ may have illogical, post-hoc reasoning for their actions, but if you ask them, they’d consider themselves in the moral right— even if this moral right exists outside mainstream or “normie” discourse. Likewise, we consider it a moral right when we pile onto people who, say, make racist comments on Twitter, because it aligns with our conception of what is moral and good—people need to know that racist comments won’t be tolerated, we need to use our positions of power to address the injustices suffered by the less fortunate, et cetera. It’s all very noble and well-meaning, but isn’t it a bit neo-medieval?

Participating in online campaigns, vendettas, “witch-hunts”, is an alluring intoxicant. But does it come at the expense of empathy? If there’s an in-built response in our brains that makes us susceptible to malice, and the online disinhibition compounds it, surely we should take pause and consider whether what we’re doing is right.

It would be easy to just apply logic to a given scenario. Did Walter Palmer deserve the ire he received online? His actions were unquestionably unethical. Lions are endangered and hunting them is a post-colonial act of globalised dominance (no, it’s not analogous to killing a cow; vegetarians and vegans stay in your lane).

As the extinction of the Western Black Rhino proved, the novelty of an animal in terms of hunting doesn’t guarantee its continuing existence—on the contrary, it just makes the kill more elusive and more valuable to the psyche of big-game hunters, and in general, species going extinct is a Bad Thing (unless it’s cockroaches in which case good riddance to bad rubbish IMO, don’t let the door hit you on the way out). Arguments that big game hunting are

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essential to the livelihood of already impoverished African people don’t bear much scrutiny either.

But was the reaction proportionate? In a world where Twitter has about 300 million active users and Facebook just over a billion—all with opinions, psychologies, foibles and, crucially, access to “share” and “retweet” buttons—the potential for “blowing things out of proportion” takes on a gargantuan, err, proportion. The scope of public retribution is scary. Last year when #gamergate was in full swing, Briana Wu and Anita Sarkesian had to sleep on friends’ sofas for fear of anything from prank calls to credible death and rape threats, for having the temerity to call out sexism and misogynistic abuse in the gaming industry (apparently redditors’ brains haven’t developed enough to recognise irony in its purest form).

So, to put it another way: how do we like it when the shoe is on the other foot, when people with a different ideology to our own initiate a pile-on? It’s satisfying to think that certain people deserve harassment and vindicating when they get it. It’s also undeniably savage, and repercussions are rarely productive.

In Pebbles Hooper’s case, she was tried before what was essentially a Kangaroo Court. Her punishment, in a discomfiting conflation of the increasingly eroding private/public divide, was losing her job with the New Zealand Herald, who should be held partially responsible for fomenting her shitty, unconscionable views by giving her a platform to air them in the first place. Whether Pebbles’ apology was genuine is unknowable, but it certainly wasn’t accepted. But whatever. She was doomed to a lifetime of constant pillorying. Jokes! Within 48 hours the heat had died down and we’d moved on to another controversy because social media is nothing if not up-to-date and, consequently, transient in its targeting. There is nothing Pebbles Hooper can do to appease the Twitterstorm in future—she’s been taken care of. The New Zealand Herald still publishes bigoted shit. The world spins on its axis.

Hooper, thanks to a generous trust fund, is presumably still financially solvent, though the same can’t be said for everyone in her predicament. Justine Sacco, who posted the infamous “Going to Africa. Hope I don’t get AIDS. Just Kidding! I’m White” tweet took years to recover from the backlash—financially, emotionally. (Imagine how lauded that tweet would’ve been if Louis CK had wrote it. I’m just saying.) It permeated every aspect of her life. She will, literally, never live it down. Yet AIDS rates in Africa haven’t plummeted. The West still refuses to interact economically and socially with Africa unless it can assume some kind of angelic saviour position. Stigma surrounding the HIV-positive community has, according to one study, only increased since the tweet was sent.

When we call out other people’s heartlessness, we don’t have to become heartless ourselves; human feelings like compassion and empathy are most powerful when offered to those least deserving of it. It’s not just that passive activism has supplanted tangible, constructive action or that it inhibits sober debate and crucial discussions, although both of those things are demonstrable. It’s that ultimately, it reduces us to schoolyard bullies vilifying the individual in lieu of the problem. We still have cause and effect all mixed up. Until we get it right? All we’re going to see are effects.

editor@salient.org.nz

Mackenzie Sykes ernest-work.tumblr.com

The Guy Who Wants to Be a Goat He’s Not Even Kidding

Josie Cochrane

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Thomas Thwaites is a designer based in London, UK. Among his many bizarre projects—such as building a toaster from scratch, which ended up with a TED Talk gathering over one million views— his latest endeavour is what has intrigued us the most. Thwaites is attempting to become as close to a goat as he possibly can … by literally trying to become a goat.

So this is the most bizarre project we have heard of in a while. Can you give us a rundown of what the project is?

Thwaites: I tried to become a goat. Simple, really. Everyone gets pissed off with stresses and strains, and worries and regrets and all these human anxieties that we have to deal with. And I just thought, wouldn’t it be nice to take a holiday from all that? No more worrying about why you’re here, what you’re doing with your life. I thought “wouldn’t it be nice to become an animal?” It’s like this idea from childhood in a way—I can remember fantasising that if only I could be the cat and then I wouldn’t have to go to school and face all these horrible people.

It’s an interesting idea to explore as a more mature adult. So I wrote to this biomedical charity that does arts funding—the Welcome Trust—and they were interested in the idea. They were probably as curious to see what I would come up with as I was.

How much was put towards this goat idea?

It was quite a lot, something like £27,000 [approx NZ$65,000].

I guess I’m a fairly established designer now. I’ve been doing this project for about a year. You can’t really talk about trying to take on the perception of another creature without getting into the philosophy of mind and neuroscience. So there’s quite a lot to the project before actually just going to the Alps and living with goats.

So how did you start?

The first thing I should say is that I started out trying to become an elephant. I started looking into elephants, [but] I went to see a shaman—they are a sort of expert in human-animal relations—and she said you shouldn’t be an elephant, you should be a goat. And she was absolutely right, really. When she said that, it felt right to me.

Goat! Yeah, that’s the level I’m on.

You are on the level of a goat?

cave paintings of humans with animal heads [and] even the earliest sculpture we’ve ever discovered made by human hands is a sculpture of a human figure with a lion’s head. It was dug up just before the Second World War by the Nazis. It sounds like something out of Indiana Jones, but it made me think, maybe this becoming an animal thing is justified. I started to think of this as seeing how modern technology could help us achieve this age-old human dream.

So you had prosthetics on your legs and arms, and I hear you attempted to get a stomach made too?

Obviously if I was going to become a goat, I needed to be able to eat grass and digest it. Mammals don’t let you produce the enzyme to digest cellulose, but goats are mammals too. The difference is they have this foregut—their rumen—which is before their stomach and it has a whole other community of bacteria and fungi which are specialised in breaking down cellulose—the main molecule which makes up the fibrous bits in plants.

I went up to Aberystwyth where they have a research group actually making artificial rumens. I told them “I’m trying to be a goat” and they were all “oh that’s great, hahaha”.

I told them I was thinking of making a fermenter, or a bag, and then I would put some grass in it. I wanted to put a sample of the bacteria from the goat into my artificial fermenter. They said that’s how they did their research, for rumen biology. Then I said okay, I’m going to strap this thing to me, walk around, spit grass into it and then suck out the fermented product from another tube. They suddenly went very quiet and were like “no, you mustn’t do that”. Their argument was that they are discovering all sorts of weird bacteria and fungi in the rumen—I’d not just be ill, but possibly give myself some kind of virulent bacteria infection. Some people think Crohn’s Disease is caused by a bacteria infection in the gut, they said I was at risk of giving myself a serious long-term condition if I did that. So yeah, that nixed that idea.

Well yeah, her reasoning was that I could never be an elephant because I have no shared cultural or environmental history with an elephant. She said as you live in London and don’t live in the bush in South Africa, you should be an animal you have in London.

I ended up having to spit grass into a bag and at the end of the day I’d pressure cook it to break down the cellulose. And then I ate that.

Human beings have always tried to take on this idea of being animals, or taking on the characteristics of animals. There are various

Well, yeah. It was way harder than I thought. I did chemical tests on myself for sugar and I was getting some sugar from it but it was such

So you still ate the grass?

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hard work. Being on four legs and getting sick, I had to eat human food too.

How long did you last?

Well I was at the goat farm for three days but in my original application to the Welcome Trust, I said I was going to cross the Alps. So after three days of learning from the goats and learning how crap I was at being a goat, I set off to cross the Alps. They are, um, much higher than I thought.

Haha! Well, yeah, they’re not hills.

Haha, no they are not! I’d never really walked in the Alps before. They just kept on going up and up and up. So I ended up on a glacier and thought “this is ridiculous”.

Where did you sleep?

I slept in the shed on the goat farm. But crossing the Alps, I slept in little rest stops. I didn’t sleep outside in the Alps cause I probably would have died. The doctor who made the prosthetics for me, he said when you’re asleep, you don’t know that you’re a goat, so you don’t know you’re not a goat, so he justified it as a philosophy of mind type thing.

I do appreciate how you’ve managed to wheedle your way out of certain parts of this.

Exactly! When you’re faced with a chance of catching hypothermia and at the end of a long day, sweating all day and then freezing cold… a chance of philosophically reasoning yourself out of having to sleep outside in a bush becomes very attractive.

How did the goats warm to you personally?

They were scared really at first. When we first arrived at the goat farm, I hadn’t told the goat herd owner [what we were going to do].

We were having to use Google Translate to communicate, so I hadn’t told him. They were doing that migration the day after I arrived, so I had to get up the next day and join the herd. As we were herded down the mountain, I realised just how crap a goat I would be. This stream of goats flow down these extremely steep mountains and I was there on my four legs, terrified of slipping cause I didn’t have any hands obviously to stop myself from falling or smashing myself into a rock.

Did you ever fall over?

Yeah, quite a few times. I would try and trot. But it was so easy to just fall.

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Eventually when we got to the pasture and I was just eating with them … they gradually got to know me and I think I even made like a goat friend. Prior to going, I had talked to a goat behavioural psychologist—yes, they do exist—goats have this dominance hierarchy thing and have friends and enemies. I think I made a goat friend.

There was this moment where I found myself the highest goat in the goat herd and I looked up and everyone had stopped chewing on their grass and was just staring at me. And I was like “okay, this is weird”. I was in the middle of the herd. I felt something was going on. I think I may have committed some sort of goat faux pas, because I had read that you can show dominance by being physically higher.

I think I’d inadvertently done a challenge and it was like “Oh God”.

I started seeing these pointy horns and there was a bit of tension and movement going on. But luckily, I think my friend defused the situation. I dunno, I might be fantasising again.

There was that one moment though where I thought I’d have to go up on two legs and sort of wallop one with my hoof [but] I purposefully avoided the rutting season when they’d be sexually charged.

What did you learn about humans, goats, and the differences?

Visiting the shaman was really interesting. When I was finally with the goats in the pasture, it was sort of meditative. I’d been to see a neuroscientist to try and switch off parts of my brain so I could be more like a goat. He used transcranial magnetic stimulation to switch off my speech centre. It was temporary but it was an experience. He said they don’t think goats have an episodic memory—like, they think goats are very much in the moment, kind of stuck in time. And so it struck me that a lot of when people tell you to meditate, be in the moment, be present in the moment—I think being a goat is all a lot about being present, in the moment.

When you were on the Alps, was your brain all switched on?

Yeah. I had fantasies of making a sort of skull cap—like a portable transcranial magnetic stimulation machine. But the neuroscientist said I was basically 50 years too early. He said we could slightly disrupt areas of my brain, but he said about two-thirds of your brain is involved in language and episodic memory, so we’d have to switch off about two-thirds of my brain.

Do you think goats have a healthier sort of attitude?

Goats don’t have this tendency to be jumping around in time like humans do. In a way, goats are sort of Buddhists, I suppose. Haha don’t quote me on that. It’s absolute bullshit. They are very present with themselves. I guess they’re very in touch with their goaty selves.

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We are all about wonderful technology and where human beings are going to go in the future, more efficient, faster, better, we’re going to go to Mars and stuff, which I love as well. But there also has to be a space for an alternative view of the future—maybe using technology for living a simpler life. We need to be remembering our animal selves as well.

Is it these kind of findings that you’re writing your book about?

I guess the whole project—yes, it is an impossible goal. Yes, I realise that now. To say I’m going to become a goat, it’s not actually possible to become a goat. So, the book—the shaman had one perspective of animals. And then the behavioural psychologists focusing on goats had another perspective. And then I dissected a goat with an anatomist. All these kind of ways of thinking about animals, and of course humans are animals … the book is a way of putting all that research down.

I guess this is more just that perhaps in the future we’ll need to use technology to be happier in the present. Just to be able to really love eating grass in a field, that’s quite, I don’t know, is that a good thing?

Do you think they were happy?

Well, there’s this quote by the philosopher John Stuart Mill: “It’s better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied. It’s better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied. And if the fool, or the pig, says otherwise, it is only because they know their side of the question.” And I thought, well, maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s better to be a pig satisfied or a goat satisfied.

I mean I think a goat is satisfied with just eating delicious fresh green grass. Humans are constantly dissatisfied somehow and I was trying to get at the disconnect.

Have you thought about becoming a drunk goat as an easier way of achieving the same lack of awareness?

Yeah I did ask that. Would being a goat be like just being really drunk, impulsive? The goat psychologists just laughed at me. They don’t assume that animals have the human experience—like if I ask if goats are happy. That just doesn’t really apply. We can’t know what they’re experiencing. They are trying to learn what the hell is going on in an animal’s mind.

What made other researchers you spoke to choose goats over elephants, for example?

Goats are cognitively interesting and they’re neophilic, which means they’re curious about new things. When they’re presented with some new apparatus, they’ll investigate it. They are naturally inclined to

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participate in your experiment. They’re basically easier to study.

They’re fun.

Did you learn any goat games?

Well, it’s a game sometimes being the highest on the mountain.

Trying to maintain your place on the hill, in the herd.

I told people I needed to make these prosthetics so that I could gallop like a goat and spring over the mountains. But the people who make limbs for amputees … they said I don’t think you know how much difficulty [and] how much pain you’re going to have when you try and take your weight and put it through parts of your body which aren’t evolved to do that.

Surely they thought you were a nutter?

Well, I researched the clinic. I found a guy whose undergrad was in zoology and I guess the clinician took the bait. I still consider the whole thing a prototype. It’s such a good dream to be able to gallop through the hills and eat grass.

So one day it’s going to happen?

Yeah, one day! I just need to be able to get to the ultimate prosthetics.

We’ve already made a better version of the back legs. I’m going back to the workshop on better front legs. I’ll get there somehow.

We’ve had a few random questions from students here.

How did you manage to go to the toilet with your goat suit on?

Well, I had a zip. I’m aware walking around with my willie out would just be a bit … you know. I really didn’t want to emphasise any of the sexual aspects [of goat life] … I was quite keen to not emphasise that in the project. Not telling the goatherd that I planned on sharing a barn with his goats … first try, I guessed it was better to keep things tucked away.

Thanks so much for talking to us. I could talk to you for hours about your other projects.

Haha yes, well, there’s the toaster too! I don’t know, maybe it’s my New Zealand parentage. She’ll be right, give it a go, combined with the English eccentricity which may have had a role in doing these stupid things. I thought I’d mention that my dad did go to Otago University. I think he studied economics but didn’t shine as a student!

It’s a small world!

This article was originally published in Critic magazine.

An online version can be found at critic.co.nz/5305. editor@salient.org.nz

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FAST FRIENDS AND SNAIL MAIL HAROLD COUTTS Back when I was a tween I had a flip phone and was only allowed on the internet for roughly an hour each day. I used to go around to one of my friend’s places just to play video games for hours and hours on end because his mum didn’t burst in just to tell us our eyes were going square. Now I’m an adult. I rarely go anywhere without my phone, even if I have no credit or internet access. I use at least five different forms of social media daily. Hell, I’ve drunkenly live-tweeted my last two family Christmases. I’m always online, always talking to my friends, sharing hungover birthday selfies on Instagram, or adding funny moments from Grey’s Anatomy to my Snapchat story.

And it’s not just me, it’s our whole generation—over-sharing and documenting everything online. It’s like a never-ending conversation with the world.

Social media is just an elaborate form of communication. It’s so prevalent in our society. We want to talk to people, we want to share our days and have someone care about us. It’s a basic emotional need of most humans. It makes sense that with these forms of constant communications we form bonds, not with the social media themselves, but with other people using them.

My first online friendship started on DeviantArt. My account was where I uploaded all of my angsty teenage poetry (I pray every day that I had the smarts to delete my account, because I honestly cannot remember my username or password and there is some really embarrassing stuff on there). I found the account of a person called Sarah, who used the website for a similar purpose. They lived in the state of New York, USA. We became friends, emailing and even sending letters and Christmas cards for a couple years. Now we just like each other’s Instagram selfies, but I might still have a handful of their letters stashed away in my parent’s house. We grew apart, muchlike real life friendships do, but for such a long time I felt comfortable talking to them about anything and everything.

I now have many other online friends, from all across the globe. At the time of sending this to the editor, I have an 86-day Snapchat streak with a girl called Melina from Adelaide, Australia, whom I met on Tumblr. We talk about journalling and give each other writing advice when she’s not sending me snapchats of her cats or about potatoes. I met another good friend, Bret, on Tumblr. He’s from North Carolina, USA. We skyped very regularly two summers ago, trading each other Pokémon on our 3DSs and talking about boys. We text often now, thanks to the wonders of iMessage. We always talk about flying to www.salient.org.nz

visit each other, and I really hope that one day it becomes a reality.

Several of my best real life friends I originally met online. I met a boy called Mason on Facebook through one of my best high school friends. I first met him in person two years ago when he stayed with my mum and me in a hotel for Victoria University open day. Since then he’s visited me in Nelson, and I’ve stayed with him and his family in Kaiteriteri while they were on holiday. The first two years of our friendship were entirely online, and now that we both live in Wellington (Hi dumbass) we can actually hang out. Two others, Jewelia and Lauren, I met through Tumblr. Last year Jewelia visited Wellington from Auckland a couple times and we walked around the city talking shit and singing High School Musical. Now she lives in the Hutt (as does Lauren),so we hang out as often as time and money will allow. I met Lauren in person last year at my sister’s birthday party (they are also internet friends), and then went to the Ellie Goulding concert in June last year with her and another internet friend who was visiting from Auckland. Making friends with others online seems like such a natural thing to me now.

Having said all that, we were the first generation that grew up with the internet. My Nana, my Dad’s mother, barely manages to send me a short, badly typed out email each week. I’m not 100% sure she understands that if you want to Skype call someone, you both have to be online. My Poppa, Mum’s father, recently made a Facebook account and has a whopping total of seven friends, all of which are family members. His wife, my Grandma, got a smart phone recently, and out of the three of my grandparents I think she’s the most adept; she successfully sent me an emoji the other week. I also think out of the three of them she’d understand internet friendship the most.

When my grandma was 14 years old she placed an ad in New Zealand Woman’s Weekly through the Pixie Pages asking for penpals. Her ad included her age, address, and a list of hobbies. There was also a similar advertisement requesting penpals in both the United States and Canada that she wrote to. She struck penpal gold and received letters from a range of countries including Korea, Pakistan, Sweden, South Africa, England, Germany, Holland, Australia, Canada and the United States. Overall she had roughly 22 penpals, mostly from Canada. Some of these became life long contacts, sending letters with photos of family members throughout the years and updates on major life events, such as weddings and holidays. Some petered off, disappearing into a world of no reply, as do many real life friendships.

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One of her English girls unfortunately got the flu and died after honeymooning in Italy. Grandma still has most, if not all, of the letters that have been sent to her over the years.

She’s met a few of these penpals, even though most of them live half a world away. In 1962 she flew to Brisbane to stay with Lesley, a penpal from the very start, and her family for five weeks. While there she managed to make contact with Bill, a girl from New South Wales who she’d lost contact with (and has since lost contact with again). Perhaps her most successful penpal companionship was with Evelyn Ross (née Grossman) originally from Lorette, Manitoba in Canada. In 1979 my Grandma and Poppa, with all three children in tow, flew to Montreal for a Lions Club world convention. They stayed with Ev and husband John in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia and left the kids with them for a week. My aunty Karen and one of Ev’s daughters, Trish, had become penpals before the trip and it was their first time meeting. It was the same for Grandma and Ev—their first time meeting in 23 years. Ev also came to visit Grandma in 1988 with husband John, and Ev stayed up until 1am one night reading all the letters she’d sent to Grandma throughout the years.

Unfortunately now Ev has Alzheimers, so communication between her and my Grandma has become a bit awry. However, Trish and Aunty Karen are still fast friends; Trish was in New Zealand this month with her family, staying in Wanaka with Aunty Karen and

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her family. Over the summer Trish’s husband, Morgan, was in New Zealand for something work related, and decided to visit my family.

We all went out for dinner, where I happily took advantage of the opportunity to get as much free alcohol from my parents as possible.

He even asked me to make a playlist of New Zealand artists to give to his daughters, who have since emailed me and said how much they love the songs.

You could argue that online friendships would be shallow and unsatisfying. It’s all through a screen with no physical contact. You don’t hear their voice often, or see them in real time. I might not ever meet Sarah or Bret or Melina, but I’ve formed connections with them that have so far spanned years, without so much as a handshake. At times it can be incredibly lonely, but they’re just a button press away.

It’s about making the most out of what you’ve got. So much of our communication with our real life friends is through texting or social media, so it’s not really that different.

To think if my grandma, at 14 years old, hadn’t reached out through Women’s Weekly, I wouldn’t have shared dessert wine with a Canadian man almost 60 years later. Perhaps if I keep in contact with some of my internet friends, my own potential grandkids will share cocktails with an American in the world’s first hovering bar. We can always dream, right? editor@salient.org.nz

Features

SOCIAL STIGMA IN THE SEX INDUSTRY PHIONA BASKETT

issue 20

Last month, Salient published the article “The Working Girl’s Class”, about demographic changes in the sex industry. The article generated a significant amount of debate, and Phiona Baskett, owner of two Wellington escort agencies, has agreed to write about the stigma that many in the industry still face.

I’m writing today about social stigma in the sex industry. Too often sex work and sex workers are pushed under the rug—or behind the curtain, out the back door, down into the hidden corners of our society.

But this article isn’t about hiding. It’s about pulling back the curtain and shining a light on New Zealand’s sex industry twelve years after the Prostitution Reform Act was passed. Who are NZ’s modern sex workers?

What do we do? What is life like in this shining era of legality?

And so I’d like to properly introduce myself: My name is Phiona Baskett and I own both Paradise Club (paradiseclub.co.nz) and Paradise Retreat (paradiseretreat.co.nz). I also own a Chihuahua, because while sex work is my livelihood, it isn’t my entire life. Before I opened Paradise in 2009, I spent six years as the group manager for Splash, Il Bordello, and Mermaids.

In short I’ve been part of the sex industry almost as long as it’s been legal. I’ve learned a lot in all those years. I’ve seen a lot too.

And I’d say that given Paradise’s enormous successes (voted “Best Establishment in New Zealand” every year since 2012 by the punting public, employs several women voted “Best Escort” by the same public), I’m well qualified to talk about the industry.

I have no problem coming forward. And yet the women I employ—several of whom are students at your university—would rather hide.

You nod, I’m sure. “Of course,” you think. “All those rapes, those murders. There’s some bad people out there. Of course they’re afraid to come forward.”

Except those same girls, sitting here in my living room, would roll their eyes. They’re not afraid of rapists and murderers, no more than

Opinion

any other woman is. They’re afraid of you.

They sip coffee beside you in the Hub. Argue with you in class. Check their phones while chatting with you on the overbridge.

And all the while they wonder: “Does she suspect why I can suddenly afford this coffee when last month I was broke?”

“He looks familiar—have we had class before or did he visit my parlour last Saturday?”

“It was not a great episode—I’m beyond sick of the genre reliance on dead sex workers. It’s tired, it’s lazy, and it’s offensive.”

The law changed twelve years ago but society still hasn’t caught up.

So sex workers hide.

And they shouldn’t have to. They shouldn’t have to feel as if their worth as human beings is tied to the price tags they’ve willingly put on their bodies.

Many sex workers, when safely anonymous, will admit to loving their jobs. Even the ones who don’t love it will admit there’s a reason they’re in the sex industry rather than working a till. And if that reason is money…

Well, why do you work? If it’s genuinely for the pleasure of it then you’re as lucky as you are unusual. Although the happier workers, the women who stay for years and decades rather than months or years, find other benefits.

There’s the flexibility, for one. Sex work fits easily around lectures and assignments.

Around childcare and family responsibilities.

Around travel and illness. You can work any days, any hours, and if you need to change them, it’s rarely a hassle.

Beyond that—those of you who went to all girls’ schools will understand this—when there’s no men around, one of two things will happen. It will either be a hellish nightmare of never-ending drama and backstabbing, or the bras come off, the heels are kicked aside, and everyone heaves a great sigh as they relax into a safe and supportive sisterhood.

When you start sex work your bodily insecurities are rapidly eroded. Some people argue it’s because your desirability is being constantly proven. You’re not just hot— you’re so hot men will pay hundreds of dollars to sleep with you. And that’s a part of

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it. But beyond that you see other women. Not airbrushed, not photoshopped. Just other, real women.

You have cellulite? So does your co-worker and she’s beautiful. Think your hips are too wide? Her’s are wider and she turns heads wherever she goes. Not sure if your labia is “normal” or not? Mention this and someone will whip their undies off to do a compare.

You aren’t just desirable, you’re okay.

That weird fantasy? Someone has had weirder and they’ll tell you in exhaustive detail until you’re giggling in amused relief.

Among themselves, sex workers tend to be happy and open. But in public they’ll smile politely and demur, mumble how they’re sure sex workers have some reasons, shrug in confusion and say “Why are you asking me?

Do I look like a hooker to you?”

And you’ll laugh, because that’s what you’re supposed to do.

But perhaps you sit there now and wonder why anonymity is so important. We’re an open and non-judgemental society, aren’t we? Sex work is legal, isn’t it? You’re all good people, aren’t you?

Why do sex workers even need to hide?

And we wonder that too.

We wonder: “If I tell a prospective employer my provided reference is my madam, will they still hire me?”

“If I tell my friends how much money I earn, how long will it be before it’s always my shout?”

“If my lecturer knew, would he try withhold a rightful grade for sex?”

“Will my neighbour report me to CYFS if I tell her why I need her to watch the kids every Friday night? I’m a great mother, but which of us would they believe?”

“How will my new boyfriend react if I tell him why he can’t visit me at work?”

“If I tell my sister, how long will it be before she throws it back in my face? Tells me to she doesn’t want her kids around me—calls me a whore and means it?”

Sex workers wonder a lot of things.

The Prostitution Reform Act protects sex workers from violence, from trafficking, from editor@salient.org.nz

Opinion

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being pressured into unsafe sex acts.

It doesn’t protect sex workers from jealousy, judgement, or ostracism. It doesn’t protect sex workers from their families, friends, or further employers.

The PRA is an amazing document. It made a huge difference in the lives of a vulnerable group. But twelve years on, there’s a lot more that could be done.

The PRA does not oblige employers to pay any particular percentage. If a 50:50 split was encoded as the legal minimum, it could only be to the industry’s benefit.

There are no rules about overtime or maximum hours. You hear of women working 12-hour shifts every night for weeks on end and while these women probably have their reasons, it doesn’t sound like the healthiest work-life balance.

The law is apparently unclear on dental dam usage—or so punters frequently insist.

Legal clarification as to whether their use is mandatory would lessen the pressure on sex workers to not use them.

Furthermore, an additional branch of the New Zealand Prostitutes’ Collective would be highly useful. The NZPC is a phenomenal group of people and they provide a number of services already. Sex workers can visit their local branch for free and confidential health checks. They provide supplies such as condoms, lube, and sponges. Best of all they provide coffee and biscuits, along with advice and support.

But their services could be expanded further.

If there was another branch, it could go into brothels and advise sex workers on their rights. Not everyone knows to visit them in person after all. While this branch was out in

the field, it could check brothel licenses and examine the premises for health and safety violations.

For that matter, they could truly go into the field and interact with the non-sex working public. Speakers could go to universities and other establishments to provide informative talks and advice which would help change the way people view sex work and sex workers.

All around the world people look to New Zealand for guidance on sex work. We’re heralded as having the safest, healthiest sex industry on the planet.

And yet sex workers still don’t feel truly safe.

Sex workers are afraid to tell friends, family, flatmates. They don’t come out to co-workers or casual hook-ups.

This robs sex workers of two great joys of life: Talking about how much you love your job and bitching about how much you hate it.

Think about how often you do one of these things. And then imagine never being able to do it again.

Or imagine even if you could—imagine you had told someone. Imagine if every joy was belittled and every bad day turned into a reason you should quit. Imagine your mum crying as she wondered where she went wrong. Imagine your boyfriend looking sicker and sicker as he realises you’ve not just slept with other men, you’ve slept with hundreds of other men. Hotter men. Men with bigger penises. Men who were better at sex, or oral, or dirty talk. Imagine kissing him goodnight and knowing he’s wondering who else you’ve kissed that day.

How do you know in advance whether your loved ones will support you?

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But of course it doesn’t stop there. This fear leaves many sex workers without a safety net.

How do you decide if your employer is a good one when you can’t get an outside perspective? It leaves sex workers vulnerable to subtle forms of exploitation—there’s a charge for this, and that, and oh yes it’s normal to get a 1/3 cut of your earnings.

And sex workers can’t complain. Who do they complain too? Their employer? Other co-workers who don’t know any better themselves? Perhaps the NZPC assuming they know about them and feel it’s worth the trip.

It turns out I lied. Sex workers do that sometimes.

All people do that sometimes.

I said this article wasn’t about hiding, but it is. It’s about the pain and fear. It’s about the stress. It’s about secrets that fester in your chest and every person you wish you trusted enough to tell.

I’m lucky. I burst out from under the rug years ago. Everyone in my life knows I run an escort agency and I know who my true friends are. But not every sex worker is ready to throw aside the curtain. Not every sex worker wants to be ushered into the light.

So next time you speak—think.

Before you call someone a whore—think.

Before you exult in killing them in video games—think. Before you say one deserved what she got—think.

And wonder who you’re offending.

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$30 or $25 with Student ID www.salient.org.nz

issue 20

Opinion

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ON SUICIDE Robbie Coutts Recently, a friend of mine confided in me that he was depressed. I wasn’t shocked. In fact, it was almost expected news. My friend Greg* is what many people, and what I would have long ago, considered a typical “lad”. Brawny, buzzcut, lover of booze, and a friend of brothels.

However, like many guys his age, in the 17 to 21 category, he is also deeply, deeply depressed.

Some, on whatever side of the political, religious, and social spectra, believe that he has no reason to be depressed. After all, Greg is living overseas, is happily employed, and has many mates in his new country already. But even the most successful of men can fall prey to depression. Especially young men. Greg confided in me that he feels lonely, and inexplicably so—a common symptom amongst depressed people.

I can understand how Greg feels. He’s an old school Tory; he doesn’t really agree with a lot of progressive or socially liberal ideals, although he does drink a fair amount. It can be hard having those values when you’re young, when many of your peers are often more liberal or progressive. But that doesn’t really help him. Being right-wing often means you suffer from viewing manliness as a stoic trait, when in fact being stoic and standing tall should be tempered with the ability to express your emotions. I pleaded with Greg to seek help, but he said he would be fine, and said he did not need help and that he could self-medicate with drink. I am not associating right-wing views with depression or suicide; there is no researched correlation between political views and depression, other than a few debatable graphs from the US that show that Democrats are more likely to be depressed than Republicans. It should also be made clear that I myself am right-wing and depressed, but I don’t associate my views with my mental health.

If you think you’re suffering from depression, or are having suicidal thoughts, do not hesitate to contact the counseling services at University. If you ask your local GP, you can also receive six free sessions from various mental health institutions.

PHONE NUMBERS TO CALL: LIFELINE: 0800 543 354 DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757

What is interesting, in an altogether horrifying way, is the link between alcohol consumption and male depression. In his article from August 2014 titled “Suicide and silence: why depressed men are dying for someone to talk to”, Owen Jones raises the eye-opening point that men are twice as likely as women to develop alcoholism. He takes a quote from Mind spokesperson Beth Murphy, who says that “One of the more common ways men deal with it is self-medicating with alcohol and drugs”. Greg has told me about the two times he has attempted suicide. Both times he had been on drugs and intoxicated. Very recently, he confided that his drinking wasn’t working. I told him to consult a medical professional, but he flat out refused. I couldn’t express to him my frustration that he wasn’t seeking help, so I’m writing his story out here, with his permission, in the hopes that he realises how much I really do care about him and how I don’t want him to be another statistic.

So what can be done? At first glance it seems like a hopeless cause. Young men are killing themselves and there doesn’t seem to be much we can do. But there is. We can remind young men that you can still be a man and seek help. That you can be a burly macho man with sick gains, and still have emotions. Emotions are part of being human. Exposing those emotions to a trained professional isn’t a weakness—it’s a sign of accepting that you do need help.

Not everything has to be you standing stoically alone against the tidal wave of depression.

After all, the Battle of Britain wasn’t won by one stoic Royal Air Force pilot, it was won by thousands of them. Working as a team. And that’s what we, as men, need to do. We need to work together so that we can live free of depression and live healthy, normal, happy lives.

THIS THURSDAY IS WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION DAY. FOR MORE INFORMATION, VISIT SPINZ.ORG.NZ AND MENTALHEALTH.ORG.NZ. editor@salient.org.nz

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Opinion

salient

VOTE YOU FOR CAMPAIGNS OFFICER Toby Cooper The time is upon us again. Student elections for the Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association (VUWSA) are on. If you’re passionate about making a real difference to students’ lives, this week is your chance to nominate yourself to be a part of your VUWSA Student Executive. I’ve been on the VUWSA Exec for two years now, starting last year as Clubs and Activities Officer, and continuing this year as Engagement Vice President. While each Exec position has its own portfolio, the experience of being an Exec member is fairly similar across the board. For those of you wanting a bit of insight into life as a VUWSA Executive member, read on.

To be an Exec member, you’ll need to be self-motivated, have good time management, and have a sense of the “student perspective” on a range of situations. Ultimately, though, being passionate about making student life awesome is the name of the game. As an Exec member, you have the freedom to work towards your big ideas for improving student life. Maybe you think that students want a more diverse O-Week lineup. Maybe you believe that students can be better informed about their academic rights if they can find that info in a pamphlet. Or maybe you think students deserve to have accessible microwaves on campus. If you strongly believe in making positive change for students, VUWSA can give you the opportunity to bring your vision to life.

Now for the reality check. To do all these amazing things, you’ll need to sit down and do some work. Here is a brief overview of the typical tasks of an Exec member.

Computer work You’ll spend around one-third to half of your time on computer work. This includes email correspondence to organise meetings, give feedback on ideas, or promote or prepare for upcoming events.

Computer work also involves writing ideas for new projects, writing press releases, and preparing submissions to the University. There’s also a moderate to large amount of reading, depending on your role.

While computer work can get boring and overwhelming at times, it definitely helps that you’re surrounded by fun and supportive people to bounce ideas off of and make jokes with (or “banter”, if you insist).

Meetings You’ll attend fortnightly Exec meetings, where you’ll formally discuss strategic priorities (i.e. what VUWSA wants to work on) and give direction on VUWSA projects. You’ll also work in smaller teams www.salient.org.nz

within VUWSA, perhaps focussing on an aspect of Association governance (such as policies or finance), or organising an event or campaign, such as a Warmer Flats Forum or a Class Rep training session. Additionally, you might be the student voice on a University committee, standing up for students in the face of out-of-touch (or alternatively, refreshingly wise) University staff.

Events and campaigns For most Exec members, events and campaigns are the highlight of VUWSA life. It is immensely satisfying to deliver something which students care about, such as the free breakfasts of Stress-Free Study Week or the epic music events of O-Week. With campaigns such as the push for democratic student representation on University Council, it is massively rewarding to see meaningful change after investing hours of time and energy. The moments where we get to celebrate students are fantastic too, through organising events like the Blues Awards for sporty superstars at Vic and the Student Representation Celebration for our volunteers.

If this all sounds like your cup of tea, run for the 2016 VUWSA Executive. Nominations are open now, but close this Friday, so pop in to the VUWSA Reception on the top floor of the Student Union Building (or visit vuwsa.org.nz/nominations/) to pick up a nomination form. Being on the VUWSA Executive is a lifechanging opportunity to improve students’ lives, work alongside a fantastic bunch of enthusiastic staff and students, and gain valuable work experience and life skills. Don’t miss out!

This page is for your submissions!

If you’d like to write something for next week’s issue—the Wild—write up a quick overview and email it to editor@salient.org. nz by noon on Tuesday. The final piece should be around 500-800 words, and will be due noon on Thursday.

issue 20

Books

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National Poetry Day Jayne Mulligan Crouched on a stepladder near the crowd, with a zine tucked into my hands and my camera at the ready, I got that feeling I get when I’m part of an audience who are hanging on every word. The stool grew increasingly uncomfortable, and the noises of the Vic Books café soundtracked the event, but as I was pulled into different spaces by the words of each poet, these things simply lay the foundations, the distinctions, of the Vic Books National Poetry Day event.

It’s very rare that I find myself spending an hour and half, straight, listening to poetry. National Poetry Day, in its eighteenth year, had once again given us an excuse, the country over, to indulge in the beauty and musings that poetry inspires. As the poets read, the crowd grew slowly around the audience, as people collected their coffees and scones from Vic Books, captured by the energy of the crowd, and there they stayed. The audience was entranced by the words that people had crafted, laboured over, or words that had poured out of them in a late night, last minute moment of clarity.

The Vic Books National Poetry Day event focused on fostering those poets who were students at the IIML. Students of the Master’s poetry or creative nonfiction programmes were invited to take part, along with several ex-students, and current teachers.

Their teacher Cliff Fell shared his poems, and one in particular he had written in honour of the students during a workshop he took them on. His students sat behind him as he read, and their faces showed cautious embarrassment, and appreciation.

Each poet had their own style, and each was distinct from one another. Every poet made me laugh, or smile; a wit and power of the form was present in everyone. Jane Arthur’s work dealt with neuroses and anxieties in hilarious and beautifully meaningful ways. Sam Keenan’s poems were driven by the correspondence between her mother and father, and featured Mansfieldian floral imagery.

Anna Jackson read thematically appropriate poems from her recently published collection I, Clodia.

Alex Hollis’ works were intelligent and entertaining, comments often drawn from pop culture, with a poem dedicated to recycling—a topic she cares deeply about (as do I). Nina Powles’ poems expand upon a theme from her previous collection Girls of the Drift, as she explores lives of historical women from Wellington.

Ashleigh Young read several works, one inspired by a walk stuck behind two men who walked at a glacial pace. Her ability to draw beauty and pause from moments like these is, for me, the charm of her work.

Sarah Webster’s poetry was a moving mixture of love and punctuation—her images were intertwined with grammatical language.

Louise Wrightson’s work was dedicated to food, and food that she has eaten in different countries; her words are inspired by senses and the places she sees.

Faith Wilson, who was recently published in Sport, packed a punch; full of money and whakapapa, her poems truly are “slicker than your average”.

Harry Ricketts, a lecturer at the IIML, as well as for the English Department, was a particular favourite.

He is a regular customer of Vic Books, he can be regularly seen marking essays and reading notes as he drinks his flat white. He is a part of our shop. Most of the poems he read were from his most recent collection Half Dark. His poems in this collection are technically driven, but are informed by his life.

“A modern creed” was, as he tells the crowd, inspired after a Saturday morning ritual he shares with his wife and a few friends, wherein they play a game of ping-pong at the rec centre, and then recover at Vic Books, where they muse and meditate and discuss.

“I believe in God the mother, sharer of crystals and echinacea, and in all things organic and gluten free.”

His other poem, published in the zine, was written for his stepson, who passed away recently. This poem reconnects them through maginations on a page; shared memories through words, and what one might have meant. After the reading, the poets milled about, talking to their friends who came along, and I saw Harry sit down with one of his students to go over some things.

National Poetry Day is a wonderful occasion to support those who have found a home in poetry and dedicated to it, who have revealed little bits of themselves. I saw my friend after the event, our eyes were glassy with excitement, and without saying so, we knew, the light had gone on.

Poetry is not a commercially successful profession to pursue, for the most part. Poets do it out of love, or need. Poetry books also range from $20-$30, and make exceptional gifts, or a weekend treat to whet your wandering mind.

Jayne’s top Five NZ poetry collections: 1. Half Dark—Harry Ricketts $25 2. This Must be the Place—Annabel Hawkins $30 3. How to Be Dead in a Year of Snakes— Chris Tse $24.99 4. Girls of the Drift—Nina Powles $20 5. Failed Love Poems—Joan Fleming $25 All available at Vic Books.

Thanks to the organisers of National Poetry Day 2015—NZ Book Awards Trust and Booksellers NZ.

Thanks to Vic Books for providing a copy to review

editor@salient.org.nz

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salient

Fishy Feminism BRIDGET PYĆ This article discusses sexual violence.

In the last issue before the midterm break, Salient addressed some of the issues being faced by women around the world, and acknowledged the resilience and power of certain ladies in their fight for feminism. This week, Salient Science decided to take a look at the battles being fought by the females, in species other than our own.

As it turns out, it’s a dog eat dog world out there. Or maybe more accurately, it’s a fish fuck fish world. A number of recent studies showed that it’s a hard knock life for female fish, who face serious danger as a result of high levels of sexual harassment from their male counterparts.

found in predator territory, the males are more likely to be eaten first.

As well as this, female guppies have also been found to change their physiology in order to reduce their chances of sexual harassment.

A study conducted by the Universities of Glasgow and Exeter found that female fish exposed to high levels of sexual harassment are developing mechanisms which allow them to swim faster. In the same way that an athlete’s body changes after years of intense training, female guppies frequently harassed by males are demonstrating changes in their pectoral fins, which allow them to swim faster, and with less associated energy costs.

Scientists have also observed evolutionary changes to the genitalia of female fish in Sexual reproduction is obviously vital to response to sexual harassment. A number of species survival, and in the animal world, fish in different locations in the Bahamas were males are often observed attempting to entice studied, and it was found that in high risk females, or even force entry, if their offer of areas, females genitals had evolved in a way sex is initially rejected. Different species have that allowed them to be more selective about developed different mechanisms to deal who they choose to mate with. The theory with these conflicts of interest, and in the explains a kind of “lock and key” situation, fish world, evolutionary biologists have now where females in high risk areas have evolved found that male guppies can develop claws genitals that favoured copulation with certain on their genitals in order to “hold on” to an desirable male “keys” (dicks). These same unreceptive females. (Yeah, I know, ouch...) evolutionary changes have not been noted in areas without the threat of predation.

But these lady fish don’t take the harassment lying down. The studies revealed incredible Studies into other species have revealed levels of both adaptation and resilience from that aggressive male mating behaviour the females. can endanger species. Although aggressive sexual behaviour can prove beneficial for The fight against unwanted sexual attention the one individual trying to get laid, it can from males has become so strong, that lead the species as a whole to extinction, as females guppies are segregating the genders it harms females in the process and fosters and risking their own death. Research the further breeding of aggressive behaviours. conducted by Dr Safi Darden and Dr Darren Economists refer to these clashes between Croft from Bangor University revealed that the interests of the individual and the group female guppies are opting to spend time in as the “tragedy of the commons”. high risk predator areas, in an attempt to discourage unwanted attention from their As is so often the case, these studies in nature males counterparts. The logic goes that since reveal lessons which are of value to humans. male guppies are significantly more brightly There are limited resources and we must not coloured than females, if both genders are overexploit these. In particular, please, look after the ladies.

www.salient.org.nz

issue 20

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Curbing the Over-Cure BRONTE AMMUNDSEN GPs in the UK are being offered cash incentives to dissuade rampant prescriptions of antibiotics. Overuse of antibiotics is a major contributing factor to the increasing number of dangerous infections developing a drug resistance.

After warnings to reduce overprescribing have been increasingly present over the past couple of years, the UK National Institute for Health and Care, aka NICE, is increasing efforts to stop the issue. Experts have found that 25 per cent of the 40 million prescriptions for antibiotics in 2014 were unnecessary. Despite previous attempts to curb overprescribing, community prescriptions (such as from dentists) have still risen by 32 per cent in just four years.

There is debate about where the issue lies

most—whether it is GPs being overzealous with a prescription pad, or pushy patients pressuring doctors for prescriptions.

Fortunately, NICE is attempting to curb the issue by tackling both sides of the argument.

Patients are to be informed against pushing for medicine with materials that are to be widely published in the coming months.

These publications will be written to explain the danger of overuse and how it leads to drugs becoming ineffective.

Doctors are subject to disciplinary action, even being struck off, if found to continue to dramatically over-prescribe unnecessary

medication. However, NICE spokespeople are stressing that this is “the last option, absolutely the end of the line”.

The repercussions of overuse of antibiotics are widespread. Developing resistance prevents the ability to rely on medication commonly used in many routine operations and medical procedures. Additionally, increasing prescriptions has been observed to directly correlate with a rise in potentially life-threatening bloodstream infections—for example, the E. coli bloodstream infection has been growing in resistance.

Stone Age II: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes GUS MITCHELL Ancient stone tools used by chimpanzees dating back to 4300 years ago have been discovered in West Africa. This has led archaeologists to declare that chimps are officially in their own Stone Age. Anyone else hear the 2001 theme playing?

The Chimpanzee Stone Age has been going for quite some time, with chimps handing their knowledge down through the generations for over 4000 years, just as humans did prior to 6000 BC. This is especially surprising in the case of chimps, as stones are difficult to come by in a jungle habitat. Apes like bonobos and orangutans usually stick to crafting plants into nests and reeds into rods to fish ants out of anthills.

In human archaeology, you can usually tell

what a tool is for going by what we know about human behaviour. By comparison, the primate archaeologists at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology have their work cut out for them (or rather, ground down into barely identifiable little shapes). Chimpanzee tools are more crude than the refined spears and arrowheads of hunter-gatherer humans. But when you’re looking at it from a chimp’s point of view, they make ergonomic sense. One marked difference between early human and chimpanzee tools is that chimp tools tend to be heavier and more hammer-like, usually for the purpose of cracking nuts open.

Chimps aren’t the only primates in the Stone Age. Capuchin monkeys also use rocks to crack open nuts and flat stones to dig for tubers, while macaques (those redfaced monkeys you always see bathing in hot springs) on offshore islands have been seen

using stones to break open shellfish. What’s especially astounding is that all the primates mentioned came up with their own stone tech independently. Who knew rocks were open-source?

So if apes and monkeys are in their Stone Age, where are we humans at? We’ve moved on from sticks and stones and had our ancient Bronze and Iron Ages. The 20th century was believed to have had the Atomic and Jet ages, as we learnt how to split the atom and travel beyond our atmosphere, respectively. We’re currently believed to be in the Information Age, because the majority of our technologies are based on trading and creating data. But you’re looking for a modern Stone Age family (other than the Flintstones), look no further than our closest living relatives.

editor@salient.org.nz

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Film

salient

The End of the Tour Directed by James Ponsoldt

Ellen O’Dwyer-Cunliffe There’s a moment in The End of the Tour when David Lipsky is about to say goodbye to David Foster Wallace. Left alone briefly, Lipsky rushes from room to room, dictaphone in hand, attempting to absorb every detail of the house. “Dogs, Alanis Morissette poster, a draped Barney towel in the bedroom. In the bathroom, postcards: the Clintons, St Ignatius prayer…” Into the writing room he goes, which, unlike the rest of the house, is without light—only the outline of a computer screen visible. He is fascinated by Wallace, and still perplexed, aware that an unseen life remains here, obscured in the dark.

The End of the Tour, directed by James Ponsoldt, is adapted from the book And of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself, written by David Lipsky, a reporter for Rolling Stone, who spent five days with Wallace at the end of his release tour for Infinite Jest. Lipsky meets Wallace at his home in Bloomington, Illinois, and they travel together to Minneapolis, where Wallace gives a final reading for the tour. Lipsky ( Jesse Eisenberg), also a writer, is both jealous and admiring of his talent. Wallace ( Jason Segel) is guarded, wary of Lipsky’s ability to shape public perception of him.

What results is an interesting, sometimes intense dynamic between the two central characters: the reporter and subject, the fan and the artist. But as the two travel together, they sort of become bros— riffing, smoking, driving, discussing relationships, America, the illusions of fame, the importance of authenticity in art. What makes that more compelling is that these are actually Lipsky’s questions, and Wallace’s words, the screenplay has been mainly adapted from the interview transcripts provided in Lipsky’s book.

Infinite Jest, the 1079 page experimentalist epic Wallace had just released (and the novel he struggled to follow), looms in the background of the film. In the film, one of the contentions between Lipsky and Wallace is the author’s insistence of his own normality, which Lipsky cannot reconcile with the visionary work. Segel gives a subtle performance of Wallace—he is funny and compassionate, and there is a sensitivity to his silences. But Eisenberg is equally impressive. He brings a familiar, nervous energy to dialogue and behind that, a deeper emotional nuance. As Lipsky, he can be jarring in his persistent, intrusive questioning, and it may be his desire to understand the author that fuels this.

The film is not a biopic of Wallace, a neat summation of his life. But it is the portrayal of a fascinating conversation between two writers, an exploration of their ideas. It’s also about writing, about the mysterious and difficult bond it can create. www.salient.org.nz

Inside Out Directed by Pete Docter and Ronnie del Carmen

½ Elizabeth Kim While the official trailer, movie descriptions and posters may present the film in a modest light, the Pixar-Disney film Inside Out proves to be such a worthy and significant animated film to its audience.

The film is handed to us from the perspective of 11-year-old Riley, a devoted ice hockey fan and player, quirky, creative, and a familyorientated tween. The central timeline of the film revolves around Riley and her family relocating from Minnesota to San Francisco.

While I initially describe it as Riley’s “perspective”, this word only scratches the surface of the film’s core. The heart of the film truly belongs to Riley’s emotions, the five manifestations that shape and mould Riley into her being—Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust and Anger.

The film can be looked at as a visual analysis of an individual’s mind, and how these five emotions equally contribute to the incremental progression of the human life. The characterisation of the five manifestations of Riley’s emotions educate us into accepting that the human mind is a sporadic battle of feelings and thoughts. We are left to ponder exactly what emotion, or who is it, that will determine how we create, envision and remember the memories that are hoarded in our head.

Each characterisation of Riley’s emotions is each given a fitting vocal representation—Amy Poehler as Joy, and Phyllis Smith as Sadness being my favourites. They articulate themselves into what we may understand the emotions to comprise of—indeed, Joy adopts a pragmatic and creative persona, contrasted with Sadness, who is a pessimist and realist.

The film ends on a high note, and the much more “experienced” and elderly members of the audience are given an inside joke. The film is implicit with the suggestion that our emotions become complex than what we have seen. The younger audience members are left to guess, while the more experienced audience members snicker at what Riley is inevitably to experience with her young teenage years.

issue 20

41

Film

500 Reasons Why There Should Be a Black Widow Solo Film

Reality Bites

Livne Ore

James Keane

1) As Scarlett Johansson rightly stated, Black Widow’s history is rich, and steeped with great stories to tell. As a spy, she has been involved in so many organisations and this has been touched on by the MCU, which uses her as a bridge to connect HYDRA and the Red Programme, the Winter Soldier and S.H.I.E.L.D. Exploring her past in a more comprehensive manner would have the advantage of revealing her associations to each, as well as weaving a complex web of relations.

2) Natasha Romanoff is a Russian woman. To have her star as a protagonist would be a huge leap for Marvel, as characters of nonAmerican ethnicity, when featured, are generally played as villains or thugs, rather than with heroic story arcs. This is superbly illustrated by the fact that the woman that Marvel has picked up to title the first solo superheroine film is Carol Danvers, a white American woman with a military background, despite Natasha’s pre-existence as a popular MCU character.

3) The Black Widow is very popular (and the lone Marvel superheroine). She has an avid and dedicated following, who would be more than willing to watch and applaud a solo film, as seen from demonstrations, tweets and general comments made since Natasha Romanoff first appeared on the big screen. Furthermore, there is no disagreement from higher levels such as Kevin Feige. It would be a very easy sell.

4) There are already fan-made title sequences and trailers of the film!

Beautifully made, one has tricked many an unsuspecting Marvel fan that a Black Widow film was on the table. In fact, given the quality of the trailer, if the film was made, it might outstrip the rest of Marvel’s creations so far. Additionally, there’s no shortage of actor, writer and director enthusiasm—a treatment of the film was written back in 2010, and many celebrities have been quoted as saying that they’d be on board with the enterprise.

Films inspired by or based on true events are not reality, but another kind of fiction. Monetarily speaking, it’s another genre of film utilising people, dates and locations we are familiar with in order to generate greater interest in its performance. It sounds critical, and it is a bit, but it’s more observational because there seems to be an alarming increase in this. In fact, the Best Picture Oscar winners of 2010, 2012 and 2013 have all been films inspired by true events, however changed or played with. You could argue that Argo (geddit?) was an unrealistic, pro-American celebratory act of subverting Middle East foreign policy, or say that 12 Years a Slave was really a devised experiment in traumatising your average film audience. These prove that we have such an ingrained notion that every film should treat us to yet another overcoming of adversity. In terms of the biopic, this means fading or cutting to black over a sombre orchestral backdrop whilst displaying text that says for example: “Billy learned to overcome his real life adversity and pass legislative law declaring the end of this 100-minute running time. He died in 2013.”

This ending clause is essentially the same as any other ending of a crafted narrative, and it is inescapable to accurately portray events of the past without embellishing certain aspects of it as well. Watching George VI overcome his oratory stuttering problem in The King’s Speech also makes way for a light-hearted drama with comedic elements concerning the contrasting socio-economic backgrounds between his own and that of his speech therapist. Similarly, seeing the painstaking detail with which the filmmakers recreated the sets and studios of the 1960s in the Brian Wilson biopic Love & Mercy, while contrasting that with the familiar love story which is at the same time separate of all that reveals more of a transparency in the filmmaking process, as we cannot watch the Beach Boys founder simply drop LSD and befuddle musicians and bandmates alike for the entire duration of the film. In short, it’s unreal.

5) If a movie were to be made, it would give audiences the added pleasure of potentially delving into Hawkeye and Bucky Barnes’ histories as well, uncovering more backstory and spy shenanigans.

6-500) Natasha Romanoff is one badass lady, and on top of that, she is a chameleon. She evolves, constantly. Wouldn’t it be awesome to watch Thanks to Reading Cinemas Courtnay for providing double those metamorphoses on screen? (The answer is a resounding YES.) tickets this week editor@salient.org.nz

42

Music

Interview – Anna Coddington Kate Robertson

Kiwi songstress Anna Coddington is back for a nationwide tour kicking off right here in the capital. Music editor Kate caught up with her to talk collaborators, new music and the rapidly changing industry.

Kate: You’re touring the country this month with Lips, how did that come about?

Anna: Steph from Lips and I have been friends and collaborators for a really long time. I asked Steph to play keys on some of my new material and she was talking about how they really wanted to tour here. They’ve won the Silver Scroll and Steph’s a Kiwi, but they’ve never toured here. It’s quite hard to organise from overseas so I offered to help. From there it just kind of transpired that secretly I wanted to tour with her and she secretly wanted me to do it with her, but we were both sort of too shy to say anything. When we realised we were like “Let’s do it!”

K: So touring is an enjoyable process for you?

A: I enjoy the shows, but I don’t really like organising them. It’s a lot of effort and a lot of stress and a lot of detail, but I also happen to be quite good at that side of it which helps! Touring is a funny thing because it’s a really fine balance between doing it too much and not doing it enough. If you go to the same town too many times they’ll get sick of you, but if you don’t go at all, it’s like, two years is a long time between gigs. So I’ve wanted to get back out there for a while.

K: The video for your new song “Slate” is pretty fierce. Where did that song grow from?

A: Oh awesome! I’m glad you thought so. That’s kind of what we were going for, but it’s always hard with performance videos because they rely on exactly that—the performance. For me “Slate” is quite personal and does come from real experiences, but I think the chorus really sums up the intention of that song. It’s about clearing the slate to start again and letting go of things so that you can move forward. I went through some stuff, had a bit of a breakup, just stuff that’s hard for anyone. It’s not a unique emotion. So “Slate” was just me processing that.

It’s hard to go through things and then get to that point where you just have to stop letting them affect you in the present because they’re gone. You have to put an end to it so you can move onto bigger and better things. Quite full on I guess!

K: I guess everyone can relate to that, there’s a reason why it’s such a universal theme!

A: Yeah and I hope that’s how it comes across. Like it’s not about me, it’s about you [laughs].

www.salient.org.nz

K: When you are coming up with new stuff, do you find the songwriting process laboured at all?

A: I definitely wouldn’t call it laboured because it’s my favourite thing to do. Some of them come easily and others not so much. I’ve got one song from my new album that I just couldn’t quite get to work. I worked on it for about eight months and just kept coming back to it and trying different things, so I guess that was laboured in a way, but I still enjoy the process. You have to be happy with your work otherwise why would you put it out there?

K: So a new album is in the works?

A: Yes! Next year. I’ve still got quite a bit of work to do on it, but there will definitely be another single coming this year.

K: Do you find it difficult getting your music out there when most of our radio stations are so commercially driven?

A: Yeah, definitely. Ever since I started I’ve always been one of those artists that just falls right through the gaps.

I’ve been finding quite a lot of support for “Slate” on the bNets which has been great, but even they have formats to work to. For an artist like me, the mainstream music climate is not in my favour at all. Unless you’ve got ravey dance music, it just won’t get played. So I hope people will hear my music and connect with it on their own accord— not because a radio station is telling them to. I think of winning people over one at a time rather than “I’m gonna release a song and win thousands of fans”. Even now compared to what I put out in 2013 the environment’s just changing so quickly that it really is hard to cut through the noise. But having said that, I think when people do hear and connect to it, it means so much more now.

K: Finally, I saw you tweeting about the upcoming Silver Scroll Awards the other day, who’re the Kiwi artists that you’re really digging right now?

A: Ooh, there are loads actually! Everything that Top 20 is exceptional. The new SJD album is brilliant, the new Unknown Mortal Orchestra—these are full albums of just brilliant material. Lips are also incredible and their songwriting is next level. I’m genuinely so happy to be doing this tour with them.

Anna and Lips will be playing at Meow on Thursday 10 September.

salient

issue 20

43

Music

Depression Cherry Beach House

Mitchell Siermans Returning after three years, dream-pop duo Beach House have released their new album Depression Cherry. Like most albums released this year, it’s an extremely layered album with the theme of love and loss being present throughout. On first listen, my interpretation of it was that it focused on the themes and emotions of a short-lived romance, and one party getting over their infatuation with the other. But after listening to it a couple more times and analysing the lyrics, I’ve instead found that Depression Cherry tells the story of a couple falling madly in love, getting married, dealing with the realities of marriage, and ultimately finding these challenges difficult—the whole shebang.

The album opens with the sparkly track “Levitation” that effortlessly merges a jangly, bubbly keyboard and simple drum melody with Victoria Legrand’s harmonies, to climax at the end of the song making for a white-wash of sound to cleanse the audience’s perception of what they may be in for. The following track, “Sparks” (which was the initial release from the album), totally hits the listener over the head with Alex Scally’s guitar. Powering through the synth loop that begins the track, it continues to pummel the audience for the first part of the song until the things calm down with Legrand’s soothing voice, until picking back up for the bridge and continuing in this manner till the end.

The second half of the album is interesting because the songs transition the mood to an almost enlightened state, and a strong use of metaphor begins building on

the narrative of dealing with love and its pitfalls. “PPP” ends with a cosmic orgasm of energy as it opens up beautifully from a lulled beginning. “Wildflower” comes next and sees Legrand and Scully delving deeper into the story they created, as the initial awe of their love wore off and left them reassuring themselves of the feelings they still have for one another. “Bluebird” is another realisation song, dealing with the couple coming to peace with themselves and their relationship. The song itself is steeped in shoegazey electronica and sounds like it could have dropped off a Rhye album, carrying the same depressing realisation of the subject’s worlds. The closing track “Days of Candy” finally gives the listener some closure. Legrand’s voice drones on throughout the song, with bubbly synths wafting in and out as she finally sums up her thoughts on love—revealing the metaphor that the album’s title is based on.

Depression Cherry is ultimately an album about love. It flows through all the melancholy areas of the emotion and gives a real look at the fading spark all couples experience as their relationship wears on. The metaphor that the album’s title is based on pays homage to this idea—like a cherry, the initial feeling of loving someone is sweet and joyous, but even the greatest emotion of all, love, fades to reveal mediocrity and melancholy. This may be quite a pessimistic view on a topic so heavily touched on in music, but I think that’s what Beach House were trying to do.

They weren’t trying to make some sappy, sad love album, but make something that had some teeth and gave an accurate depiction of what they see love as. editor@salient.org.nz

Visual Arts

44

Lam On Lam Sharon Lam Sharon Lam is a local multimedia artist, with her work spanning across everything from pencil drawings to biro drawings. While an elusive figure, Salient was lucky enough to be graced with a rare interview.

Lam: Hi Sharon, thanks so much for sitting down with me.

Lam: No worries. Anything for the fans. Sharon waves like the Queen to an empty room.

Lam: Recently you received some unflattering criticism for one of your projects, what are your thoughts on this?

Lam: I knew this would come up! It was written

by Bryce Galloway, on the national Zine Review website, covering one of my collaborative literary projects. He said I was “more selfindulgent than amusing”, I have absolutely no idea where this came from.

Lam: Self-indulgent? Wow, completely left field.

Lam: Yes, exactly. He also said that he wasn’t sure if I should “drink more, or try harder”, which is also ridiculous because I am always drunk and everyone knows that if you try, it doesn’t count.

Lam: What projects are you currently working on?

Lam: Absolutely no one commissioned me to do a comic series called Architecture School Bully, so I just completed that. Now I’m solely focusing on my moss photography.

Lam: Finally, you also recently exhibited as part of a group show, can you tell me more about this?

Lam: My photo-tees were part of Hers, an exhibit for VUWSA’s Women’s Week. I was flattered to be included in such a talented group, much kudos to the Women’s Group for organising the event.

Lam: I believe you encouraged visitors to sniff the t-shirts? What was this about?

Lam: The t-shirts featured photographs that I claimed had smells captured within them.

Lam: Did they?

Sharon attempts to wink.

View Sharon Lam’s moss photography at mossandme.tumblr.com

www.salient.org.nz

salient

issue 20

Up and Adam

Fashion

45

Confessions of a Shopaholic Jess Scott I have three “interesting facts about myself ” stockpiled for those awkward tutorial introductory games and/or rare boozy truthor-dare sessions when I am not feeling up to streaking through somebody’s apartment building.

Art on Campus: Richard Killeen and the Memorial Window

1) I’m a natural blonde (tame enough for tutes, with sufficient shock value. My hair is waist-length and jet black for the uninitiated).

2) I have a scar on my butt from drunkenly falling through a glass table (less suitable for academic settings as proof is relentlessly demanded).

3) Last semester, I spent 1/3 of a scholarship on lingerie.

This is in no way an exaggeration. I am incidentally the owner of 12 Lonely bras. (Lingerie game is impeccable, bank account is crying.)

Field Skjellerup

My #1 priority in flat-hunting is whether or not the bedrooms will accommodate my four wardrobes.

Richard Killeen’s Welcome To The South Pacific sits adjacent to the large stained glass memorial window concealed within the Hunter building’s historic Council Chambers. Welcome To The South Pacific consists of a grouping of symbolic emblems, each representational to the formation of a Pacific and colonial Pacific identity. This includes an array of indigenous flora and fauna, contrasted with colonial symbols of ships and anchors. Interesting then, how this piece situates itself within its environment. Killeen’s work at first seems distant from its surroundings; bright in colour, the piece becomes binary to the Chambers’ dark wood seating enclosures, strictly positioned tables and overall Gothic revivalist interior. It is only with further observation that we see the work as a reflection of the grand memorial window and its vicinity. The stained glass monument serves as a reminder to those fallen in WWI, and in this way both works conjure a sense of past time and empire, in two different lights.

I am an obsessive shopper.

The Council Chambers can be found on the level two of the Hunter Building, located on Victoria’s Kelburn campus. The Main entrance way is accessible through the Hunter Common Room.

This content is from Up and Adam, a blog in association with Wellington’s Adam Art Gallery, on contemporary art in New Zealand.

Primarily contributed to by Victoria University students and Adam Art Gallery volunteers.

We welcome all submissions at any level concerning local and contemporary art. upandadamart.tumblr.com upandadamart.blogspot.com upandadamart@gmail.com https://instagram.com/upandadamart

When faced with surviving off expired miso soup and limp carrots for a week vs acquiring a new shiny thing, I will always choose the shiny thing. (My flatmate accurately summarises my diet as “deficient in everything, except maybe vitamin C from all the G&Ts she drinks”.)

I emotional shop. I drunk shop, procrasti-shop, shop to relieve stress, when I’m on break at work, bored between lectures. There will be a boy in my bed, an unfinished essay due in two hours, and I’ll be online shopping.

This is simply dandy if you conveniently happen to be a trust fund baby or trophy wife, however for the starving Arts student, it tends to come with some rather scary fiscal repercussions. So, why is it that I willingly endure financial ruin, cheap alcohol and perpetual malnutrition for the sake of a new black mesh thing to add to my plethora of black mesh things?

The acquisition of new objects of desire releases endorphins, otherwise sought through gross drunk-food, sexy times and whatever it is one does at the gym. With your fabulous new thing, comes instant gratification; the world is temporarily an ecstatic blur of rainbows and kittens. The object of desire then slowly loses its novelty as you become accustomed to its glory, and is eventually replaced with a new want, thus restarting the cycle.

Life is meaningless, climate change will destroy humanity, but think of all of your wonderful, empty opulent things.

I have hypothesised that the only rational, Adult™ way of coping with this phenomenon is either to marry extremely wealthy, or become incredibly successful, very early in your career. (I shall keep you posted as to how these well-considered financial plans work out for me.) editor@salient.org.nz

46

salient

Ask the Exec: Yarn with Zwaan

Rory McNamara, Clubs and Activities Officer Jacinta Gulasekharam, Secretary-Treasurer

Rick Zwaan, VUWSA President

Hi, how are you?

Welcome back!

Rory: Hi. Jacinta: Hey I’m good! Feeling better after the two-week break and being mothered at home.

I hope you had a decent break or managed to catch up on assignments. Over the break we had a significant win.

Nominations for the 2016 VUWSA Exec are now open. Are you running for re-election?

After months of campaigning to ensure University Council retained democratically elected student seats, we finally got them. On Monday 24 August, Council finalised its new constitution and membership statute which enshrines two seats for elected academics and two for elected students, as well as key clauses which will ensure the future council has at least five (out of 12) women members and two Māori.

Another change was to extend the term of student seats to two years to help improve their effectiveness.

Rory: No I’m not running. We don’t get paid enough do to the job.

(Thanks Rory McCourt.)

Jacinta: Yes its official, I am running for VUWSA Academic Vice President! I have loved my time on VUWSA and want to get stuck into academic issues. I enjoy engaging at board meetings, analysing documents and connecting with others. I would love to use my skills to build upon the Academic team at VUWSA.

These changes mean that Victoria will have the most democratic and diverse council in the country.

Rory: Anything more than the 100 that was at the AGM would be a good turnout.

Jacinta: I want people to vote. This is the students association and it’s our chance to choose who is on it. Ideally, every student!

The significant shift from the initial proposal and the final one is largely thanks to all of those that submitted and participated in the process. Submissions from students ended up making up about 95 per cent of all of those received and this meant that Stella and I, your current reps on Council, had a good basis of support for improving the proposal. So a big thank you to everyone who contributed!

Having democratic processes is one thing, but to make them work effectively requires people to participate.

What would you rate as a good turnout for the elections?

Have you been watching Mr. Robot?

Rory: No I’m not watching it.

Jacinta: Yes just started! I am addicted.

Win of the Week:

Nominations for elections to next year’s VUWSA Executive are open this week and so now is your chance put your name forward and make VUWSA better. Any member can run for any (or all) positions on the Exec. The commitment required varies between positions (President is full time, Vice Presidents are 20 hours a week, all others are 10 hours), and different positions allow you to focus on particular areas, yet everyone has equal ultimate responsibility for the running of the association.

Having been on the Exec for nearly three years now, I can you tell you that it’s one of the most challenging but rewarding things I’ve ever done. You have the opportunity to make tangible differences in the lives of fellow students, influence decision makers, run or go to sweet events and gigs, see the University from a totally different perspective, get experience in managing multi million dollar budgets, and having a dedicated desk on campus and free printing makes doing assignments way better.

Details of all the positions and election process are available on the VUWSA website; if you’re keen to know more, feel free to get in touch with me or any of the current members. The key thing is to get your nomination in by the 13 September. Voting is from Tuesday 22 to Thursday 24 September. www.salient.org.nz

Last week saw the culmination of several weeks of VUWSA-led training, as Victoria’s squad of trivia experts took on the brightest minds from universities around the country in University Challenge, the ultimate quiz competition. Be sure to check out the show when it airs on New Zealand TV later this year. Congrats to Kieran, Alasdair, Nick, Isabella, and Hamish for representing Victoria!

issue 20

Puzzles

47

Target goals: Pretty good—16 Solid—20 Great—25 Medium

Wordsearch: “Lost in the Undergrowth” Puck’s lost the wordlist for this puzzle, but he remembers certain things about it. There are twenty words hidden in the grid. Each belongs to a listed category, and starts with one of the letters provided. The lengths of the answers are given, and the leftover letters spell a quote from Al Gore.

GREEN DAY SINGLES S (5,4,2) O (2,4) L (8) A (8,5) R (9) SHADES OF GREEN S (8) O (5) L (6) A (4) R (5) EDIBLE LEAFY GREENS

‘THE GREEN LIGHT’

S (10) O (7) L (7) A (7) R (9)

S (8) O (4) L (7) A (8) R (5,2,3)

Issue 19 Solutions:

editor@salient.org.nz

YOUR STUDENTS’

ASSOCIATION

EXECUTIVE

ELECTIONS 2015

CANDIDATE NOMINATIONS

- now open -

MON 31 AUG - SUN 13 SEP Get your nomination form at the VUWSA Reception Level 4, Student Union Building, Kelburn Campus www.vuwsa.org.nz/nominations