Counselor's Notebook, March 2014

MASCA

MASSACHUSETTS SCHOOL COUNSELORS ASSOCIATION

How to Manage Difficult Conversations

By VERONICA KNIGHT MASCA VP Elementary

VOL. 50, NO. 7

MARCH 2014

MASCA Spring Conference 2014 DoubleTree by Hilton Leominster Tuesday, April 8, 2014 Registration / Breakfast / Exhibit Hall 6:45-7:30 a.m.

President’s Welcome 7:30-7:45 a.m.

Graduate Student Poster Presentation Session & Exhibit Hall

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or many of us, March means the second round of conferences with parents. The “Let’s watch how little Johnny progresses” conversations sometimes become “We now have some serious concerns” discussions.

March also seems to be the longest month of school, with slim possibilities of snow days and no Monday holidays or vacations. Often, behavior declines and tolerance thresholds dip, necessitating more difficult conversations with parents and guardians.

On a recent teachers’ professional development day, we reflected on why such conversations are difficult. Perhaps it is the anticipated (or actual) angry responses.

Sometimes it is being unsure that the message was received or well received.

It was helpful for us to deconstruct the concept of anger and remember that parents may be feeling hurt at the thought of their child being “broken” or afraid that they won’t grow up to be successful human beings. Instead of trying to convince them with more data or evidence, we might need to take time to validate their fears and sadness, to listen to their stories and narratives, especially if there are embedded messages of real or perceived guilt. “I was just like that in school!” says a father shaking his head (continued on page 6)

7:45-8:20 a.m.

Morning Learning Sessions 8:30-9:20 a.m.

Keynote Session 9:30 -10:30 a.m.

Kevin Jennings “Education for All: Addressing LGBT Issues in Schools”

Exhibit Hall & Luncheon 10:30 a.m.- 12:00 p.m.

Afternoon Learning Sessions 12:00-3:00 p.m.

MASCA General Session 3:10-4:00 p.m.

Safe Travels Home!

4:00 p.m.

--------------------------------President’s Reception to be held on Monday, April 7, 5:00-7:00 p.m.

All conference attendees are invited.

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COUNSELOR’S NOTEBOOK

NEWS OF NOTE 2013– 2014 OFFICERS PRESIDENT THERESA A. COOGAN, Ph.D. Bridgewater State University Bridgewater, MA 02325 Tel. 508-531-2640 E-mail: theresa.coogan@bridgew.edu PAST PRESIDENT JENNIFER LISK Medway High School, Medway, MA 02053 Tel. 508-533-3228 x 5107 • Fax 508-533-3246 E-mail: jlisk@medway.k12.ma.us PRESIDENT-ELECT TINA KARIDOYANES Mansfield High School 250 East Street, Mansfield, MA 02048 Tel. 508-261-7540 x3122 • Fax 508-339-0259 E-mail: presidentelect@masca.org VICE PRESIDENT ELEMENTARY VERONICA KNIGHT Lowell Elementary School 175 Orchard Street, Watertown, MA 02472 Tel. 617-926-2666 E-mail: veronica.knight@watertown.k12.ma.us VICE PRESIDENT MIDDLE / JUNIOR HIGH MARISA CASTELLO E-mail: castelloma@sps.springfield.ma.us KATHLEEN SCOTT E-mail: scottk@amesburyma.gov VICE PRESIDENT SECONDARY JOHN S. STEERE Wellesley High School 50 Rice Street, Wellesley, MA 02481 Tel. 781-446-6290 x4653 • Fax 781-446-6308 E-mail: john_steere@wellesley.k12.ma.us VICE PRESIDENT ADMINISTRATORS TBA

LGBT focus of MASCA Spring Conference keynote Twenty years ago Massachusetts took the lead in addressing LGBT issues in schools by setting up the first state program of its kind, Safe Schools for Gay and Lesbian Students.

Yet LGBT students continue to face challenges in accessing education across the Commonwealth. This presentation will investigate those challenges and offer ideas for what counselors can do to better serve these students.

Transgender youth at risk for suicide Writing in The Boston Globe (Feb. 18, 2014), Bella English notes that “according to the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, nearly half of transgender youth have seriously contemplated suicide, and one-quarter report having made an attempt. A 2007 study by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network revealed that 90 percent were verbally harassed and more than half physically harassed.”

Task force to study campus sexual assault problem A report released in January by the White House Council on Women and Girls and the Office of the Vice President states that “nearly 1 in 5 women—or almost 22 million—have been raped in their lifetimes.” Most (98%) of the perpetrators are male, and most of the victims know their assailants.

Those at greatest risk are young people, with college students being particularly vulnerable. The report states that “1 in 5 women have been sexually assaulted while in college.”

According to the report, survivors of rape and sexual assault “often suffer from a wide range of physical and mental health problems that can follow them for life — including depression, chronic pain, diabetes, anxiety, eating disorders, and post-traumatic stress disorder. They are also more likely than non-victims to attempt or consider suicide.”

— Rape and Sexual Assault: A Renewed Call to Action, White House Council on Women and Girls and the Office of the Vice President, January 2014. ■

VICE PRESIDENT POSTSECONDARY JOHN MARCUS Dean College 99 Main Street, Franklin, MA 02038 Tel. 508-541-1509 • Fax 508-541-8726 E-mail: jmarcus@dean.edu VICE PRESIDENT COUNSELOR EDUCATORS MEGAN KRELL, Ph.D. E-mail: mkrell@fitchburgstate.edu VICE PRESIDENT RETIREES Joseph D. FitzGerald, Ed.D. 5 Progress Street, Weymouth, MA 02188 Tel. 781-264-3426 E-mail: jdfitz1831@gmail.com EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR DONNA M. BROWN Adjunct Professor, UMass Boston P.O. Box 366, 779 Center Street Bryantville, MA 02327 Tel. 781-293-2835 E-mail: executivedirector@masca.org TREASURER ASHLEY CARON 25 Belmont Ave., Stoughton, MA 02072 Tel. 508-212-0676 E-mail: ashcicero@hotmail.com SECRETARY ASHLEY J. GUBA 30 Brezner Lane, Centerville, MA 02632 Tel. 508-367-7774 E-mail: secretary@masca.org MEMBERSHIP COORDINATOR TBA COUNSELOR’S NOTEBOOK EDITOR SALLY ANN CONNOLLY 19 Bayberry Road, Danvers, MA 01923 Tel. 978-774-8158 • Fax 978-750-8154 E-mail: sallyconnolly@att.net

MARCH 2014

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Cheating: A Counselor’s Perspective

By DONNA BROWN MASCA Executive Director

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zillion years ago when I was a first year teacher of English, I was in my classroom trying to teach a group of ninth graders how to diagram sentences when the door between my room and the next room flew open. My friend Martha, another fresh-faced first year teacher, was standing in the doorway madly motioning me to come to the door. When I got close to her, she said in a hushed voice, “Watch the boy with the green shirt; I think he’s cheating.”

Sure enough, Martha gave the next spelling word and the boy in green reached down to the breast pocket of his shirt, peered in, and then wrote down the word. This continued throughout the spelling test. Martha looked at me and I nodded, confident that we had caught a cheater red-handed.

She collected the papers and when the bell rang, she asked the young man to stay where he was. Walking down the aisle

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towards his desk, she put out her hand and said, “Michael, give me what is in your shirt pocket. Both Miss Daley and I watched you looking in your pocket all during the test, so give it to me.”

Looking chagrined, Michael reached in his shirt pocket, drew out the biggest praying mantis I had ever seen and placed it on Martha’s outstretched hand. He had nothing else in his pocket. He had found the giant bug during gym and put it in his pocket to take home. Apparently, he felt he needed to monitor the bug’s health

by checking on him every couple of minutes. Martha returned the creature and apologized to Michael, and we had a funny story to share about our day at school.

Today, cheating is a many faceted problem. Most studies have found that attitudes towards cheating have changed greatly over the past three decades. High school students polled by Educational Testing Service in the late 1990s felt that cheating was not a big deal; everybody did it. At that time, 80% of students invited to participate in Who’s Who in American High Schools admitted to cheating in some way. Many had copied homework, while others had cheated on a test or quiz. The situation today is even worse.

According to KidsHealth.org: “Cheating is when a person misleads, deceives or acts dishonestly on purpose. For kids, cheating may happen at school, at home or while playing a sport. If a baseball team is for kids who are 8 or younger, it’s cheating for a 9- year-old to play on the team and hit home run after home run.”

Some students begin to cheat almost as soon as they enter school. New technologies have made cheating easier and more complex. Cell phones, i-pads, and sophisticated calculators have all made it easy to access and share information.

The collecting of phones before national or high stakes tests is now de rigueur. The internet, too, provides fertile ground for the dishonest. Sites like www.school sucks.com provide students with class notes, essays, and directions to term paper writing sites. The latter does a booming business with high school and college students as well as with businessmen too tired to write their own reports. All of this fosters a culture of dishonesty where students take things that don’t belong to them, lie about cheating, and refuse to name those who are actively cheating in a class. So, why is it important for counselors to be aware of this?

For starters, as counselors we serve as a sort of moral compass for our schools.

We know the rules, and we know what’s right. Sometimes the two do not align, but we try to be true to our school’s mission.

We are also charged with working in COUNSELOR’S NOTEBOOK

the Social / Personal Domain. Here we can provide lessons to help students make better decisions in many areas including whether or not one should cheat. We also need to be better at teaching students to be more resilient.

According to some experts, pressure to achieve high grades and stress at disappointing parents or teachers can lead students to cheat. As grades become more and more important as students transition to middle school to high school and then to university, cheating increases. Interesting to note, though, is that there have not been massive recent studies about why students cheat and, more importantly, how we can help them stop. Indeed, some experts are still citing studies completed in the 1950s (French & Raven) that indicate the best deterrent for cheating is sure and consistent punishment.

While the main job for school counselors in curbing the cheating explosion

MASCA Spring Conference 2014 President’s Reception DoubleTree by Hilton Leominster Monday, April 7 • 5:00-7:00 p.m.

Graduate Students, new professionals, Counselor Educators, practitioners, retirees, and supporters of the school counseling field are welcomed to attend the Spring 2014 MASCA Conference’s President Reception. Recognition of the Graduate Student Scholarships and other awards will take place.

Counselors serve as a moral compass for their students and their school’s culture. is working to change attitudes and school culture, we can also work with individual teachers on a variety of strategies.

Emphasizing improvement and learning rather than focusing on a grade can help de-stress the classroom. Making sure all students understand the difference between cooperative activities and individual ones is very important. Designing assignments that challenge students but are not so challenging that cheating seems like the only way to achieve success takes skill. And on a very practical note, counselors need to gently remind teachers that they need to be up and circulating during tests and that they can design different tests for the same material.

Cheating is a difficult problem to tackle. Students see evidence of it all around them. It may be a parent who actually does a project for his child or someone who is less than honest about paying taxes or an older sibling who passes along tests and papers. Ultimately, we need to teach our students that learning through hard work and diligence will lead to life-long success. ■ MARCH 2014

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KNIGHT (continued from page 1) at himself and thumping his fist on the table. “What did I do wrong?” asks a mother dissolving into tears.

Even when parents become defensive

and go on the attack —“Why didn’t you tell us this sooner?” “She is only like this at school!”—we can support both teachers and parents by acknowledging that these messages are difficult, that the school

Spring 2014 RTTT 4C Summit DoubleTree by Hilton Leominster Monday, April 7, 2014 8:00 a.m.

8:30 a.m. – 2:30 p.m.

5:00 – 7:00 p.m.

Registration / Breakfast RTTT Workshop Training and Lunch President’s Reception

The RTTT Workshop and President’s Reception are open to all counselors.

Project 4C counselors are required to attend with their MA Model Implementation Team.

RTTT Training Inquiries Katie Gray, uniquepotential@comcast.net Registration & Site Inquiries Helen O’Donnell, Ed.D., pdchair@masca.org

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environment may be more demanding, and that children may cope differently at school than at home.

The key to these validations, we agreed, is careful use of neutral language and not throwing anyone under the bus in the process. We also agreed that keeping kindness and compassion front and center is vital to preserving positive communication.

In the broader sense of effective communication, we looked to the structure of a well-crafted lesson plan and tried to conceptualize our conversations the same way. We should have a “learning objective” in mind. What, in the best-case scenario, do we want our parents to walk away with? Do we want to ask for their cooperation in growing a positive behavior? Do we want their agreement in a special education evaluation referral?

It is also helpful to have a second tier objective if our first is not attained. Perhaps parents might agree to come back in a month for a follow-up conversation or an informal screening by a special educator.

Parents and children sometimes have similar learning profiles. Best practices such as connecting with prior knowledge, scaffolding ideas, and using visual support can help create understanding in these conversations. For example, when we first introduce the possibility of testing a student, we use the eligibility determination diagram to explain how students qualify for special education services.

For folks for whom too much language is overwhelming, we may draw and diagram as we talk and provide a list of main talking points at the end of our meeting. Our resident special educators are great resources for these strategies.

During the professional day’s program evaluation, participants shared one idea they want to implement. The skill most people selected was reflective listening, often useful for de-escalating anger, but also useful for assuring the speaker that we heard them. And in case we misunderstood, this creates an opportunity for clarification. Heightened emotions can impede understanding. Feeling heard often helps folks to engage more positively in conversations.

To end the program, we looked to this quote from Alan Greenspan, which provided a little comic relief for this rather intense and important topic. “I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” ■ COUNSELOR’S NOTEBOOK

RESEARCH NOTES Sexting and sexual behavior co-occur among at-risk middle schoolers “Seventh-grade adolescents participating in a sexual risk prevention trial for at-risk early adolescents completed a computerbased survey at baseline regarding sexting behavior (having sent sexually explicit messages and/or pictures), sexual activities, intentions to have sex, perceived approval of sexual activity, and emotional regulation skills….

CONCLUSIONS: Sexting behavior (both photo and text messages) was not uncommon among middle school youth and co-occurred with sexual behavior.

These data suggest that phone behaviors, even flirtatious messages, may be an indicator of risk. Clinicians, parents, and health programs should discuss sexting with early adolescents.”

— Christopher D. Houck, Ph.D., et al., “Sexting and Sexual Behavior in At-Risk Adolescents,” Pediatrics, January 2014.

Short delay in school start time may help teens “Chronic sleep deficit in adolescents has been associated with crashes related to drowsy driving; obesity; cardiovascular disease; and impaired mood, attention, memory, and executive function. Inadequate sleep has also been associated with worse academic performance and decreased motivation to learn. Early start times in school may contribute to sleep deprivation. By studying a modest change to school start time in a coeducational boarding high school, these researchers eliminated environmental variables that could affect sleep (e.g., morning and evening routines, sleeping environments, and afterschool employment)....

Previous studies that demonstrated longer sleep time with later school start time typically used a ≥1 hour change. The current results support the benefit of a modest, 25-minute delay in school start time to improve sleep duration, daytime mood/sleepiness, and caffeine use.”

— Martin T. Stein, MD reviewing Boergers J et al. J Dev Behav Pediatr 2014 Jan., “25-Minute Delay in School Start Time May Help Teens,” http://www.jwatch.org/na33166/2014/01/17/25minute-delay-school-start-time-may-help-teens, Accessed January 23, 2014. ■

MARCH 2014

MASCA Awards 2014 The MASCA Awards and Publicity Committee encourages you to nominate a deserving colleague for a prestigious MASCA Award. Please review the categories, complete the nomination form, and forward it to Michelle Burke, details at bottom of nomination form.

The Awards committee will review the nominations and contact both you and your nominee. We will present the MASCA 2014 Awards during the lunch at the MASCA 2014 Spring Conference. The conference will take place on Tuesday, April 8, in Leominster at the Hilton Double Tree.

Please visit www.masca.org for conference information and registration.

Winners need not be present; we will acknowledge them during lunch using key phrases from the nomination letter. Winners will also be featured in the June 2014 Counselor’s Notebook.

MASCA Counselor of the Year A current MASCA member and a licensed counselor serving during the current school year as a school counselor in either an elementary, secondary, or postsecondary school. This counselor will have made outstanding contributions to his/her school.

The recipient will have excellent rapport with pupils, parents, and school personnel and be a highly respected counselor of students.

MASCA Administrator of the Year An administrator who has made an outstanding and significant contribution to the guidance and school counseling movement, developed and /or implemented an innovative program, or initiated improvements of school counseling services.

MASCA Leadership Award A current MASCA member and licensed school counselor serving during the current school year in an elementary, secondary, or postsecondary school or in a local or regional school system and who demonstrates strong, positive leadership skills in the counseling profession at the local, state, or national level.

MASCA Torch Award, Rising Star An individual who has entered the school counseling profession within the last five years. The award winner is a model for new counselors, demonstrating the highest standards of professional competence, outstanding contributions to the school community and/or profession, and excellent rapport with students, parents, and school personnel.

MASCA Torch Award, Retiring Counselor A counselor who is retiring in the current year or has retired within the last five years. This counselor has served as a model for new counselors, demonstrated the highest standards of professional competence, and excellent rapport with students, parents, and school personnel and has made outstanding contributions to the school community and/or profession.

The George Thompson Memorial Scholarship Award This is a $1,000 scholarship award named in honor of George Thompson, a longtime friend and contributor to MASCA. This award winner is a school counseling graduate student who demonstrates exceptional promise for leadership and contribution to our profession. Nominations from counselor educators and internship supervisors are encouraged.

Deadline for nominations: Monday, March 10, 2014 Nomination form can be found on following page.

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MASCA AWARDS Nomination Form 2014 Nominator Name: ______________________________________________________________________________________________ School/Organization: ____________________________________________________________________________________________ Mailing Address: _______________________________________________________________________________________________ City, State, Zip: __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Phone: ____________________________________________ E-mail: _____________________________________________________ Nominee: ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ School/Organization: ____________________________________________________________________________________________ Mailing Address: _______________________________________________________________________________________________ City, State, Zip: __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Phone: ____________________________________________ E-mail: _____________________________________________________ MASCA Award: ________________________________________________________________________________________________ Please include a written summary about why your nominee deserves selection for this MASCA Award.

Submit nominations to Michelle M. Burke by email to mburke@beverlyschools.org; Fax 978-921-8537; or paper mail to: Michelle Burke 56 Mudnock Road Salisbury, MA 01952

The deadline for submitting nominations is March 10.

Guidance Administrators Forum Conference Regis College Tuesday, March 4, 2014 8:30 a.m. – 1:30 p.m.

“Taking Care of the Caretakers: Surviving and Thriving in Challenging Times” Keynoter: Robert Evans, Ed.D. Executive Director, The Human Relations Service, Wellesley For more information, go to www.masca.org/

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COUNSELOR’S NOTEBOOK

Using Twitter to Connect Professionally

By ROSS WOLFSON MASCA Technology Committee Member

W

hat thoughts come to mind when you hear the word Twitter?

Would you be surprised to know that Twitter can be a great tool to foster your growth as a school counselor and expand your professional learning network? Eight months ago, I did not know that. Before this past summer, I had never tweeted. I did not understand what a hashtag was.

It did not occur to me that tens of thousands of school counselors and educators around the world were using Twitter as a professional tool.

Now I am one of them.

On Twitter, I follow different accounts related to school counseling, mental health, and higher education. I receive updates from the Common Application to help my seniors complete their college applications. I can find financial aid resources from FAFSA. I learn about educational trends from respected journals and periodicals. I have discovered hundreds of Twitter accounts run by counseling departments in schools. And I have connected with school counselors, teachers, principals, superintendents, college admissions representatives, and educational pioneers from places such as Baltimore, Chicago, Calgary, South

Korea, Australia, and scores of other locations.

MASCA is on Twitter, too, using the account @MASCA_PLN. To encourage you to begin using it as a learning tool as well, MASCA will be incorporating it into the 2014 Spring Conference this year.

We will use Twitter to promote information about workshops, speakers, awards, and upcoming events. The goal is to enhance the experience of those present at the conference, while providing a realtime virtual conference experience for those that are not.

In order to make it easy to see conference-related tweets, MASCA will use a unique hashtag, #masca2014, and you are encouraged to use it as well. Hashtags are searchable phrases that connect to specific content. Some other popular school counselor hashtags are #scchat (School Counselor Chat) and #sccrowd (School Counselor Crowdsourcing). If you search one of these hashtags on Twitter, you will find every tweet that includes the hashtag.

People at the conference might include #masca2014 in their tweets about helpful tips from presenters, questions and comments about school counseling topics,

quotes from speakers, and great resources they learn about. They might even interact with one another on Twitter and build their own professional learning networks.

Anyone tweeting with #masca2014 is likely connected to MASCA or school counseling in some way. Follow their accounts or mention them in your own tweets. This is just one way you can discover a new connected community to help you in your professional role.

If you do not have a Twitter account yet, take the first step and join at www.twitter.com. There is so much you can learn, even if you do not send out a single tweet.

Once you create your account, you'll have a chance to briefly describe yourself.

If you identify yourself as a school counselor, you will increase the chance of connecting with other school counselors on Twitter. Add a picture to your account and you will connect even more.

If you are already on Twitter, or once you do sign up, let us know you are out there by following @MASCA_PLN and including #masca2014 in your tweets. It just could be the first step in taking your professional growth as a school counselor to a whole new level. ■

PwC Accounting Careers Leadership Institute Bryant University • Smithfield, Rhode Island June 22 – June 27, 2014 The PricewaterhouseCoopers Accounting Careers Leadership Institute is a week-long, hands-on opportunity for Latino/a and African American or Black juniors in high school to learn more about the accounting profession and about the key role accountants play in society.

Throughout the program, students work directly with Bryant University faculty, staff, and students, as well as professionals from PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC) — the largest professional services firm in the world.

Criteria: College-bound student with minimum 3.0 (4.0 scale) GPA or equivalent and completion of Algebra II by the end of junior year.

Except for transportation cost, there is no fee to the students accepted into the program. Application forms can be downloaded from www.Bryant.edu/PwCACLI/

Application deadline: March 28, 2014 MARCH 2014

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• Event details at www.masca.org

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COUNSELOR’S NOTEBOOK

MARCH 2014

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Massachusetts School Counselors Association, Inc. COUNSELOR’S NOTEBOOK Sally Ann Connolly, Editor

PRSRT STD U.S. POSTAGE PAID NEWBURYPORT, MA PERMIT NO. 96

IN CASE OF NON-DELIVERY, RETURN TO: Donna M. Brown P.O. Box 366 Bryantville, MA 02327

Your membership renewal date is indicated by year and month on your address label above.

To renew your membership, go to MASCA’s website, www.masca.org.

MASCA Spring Conference DoubleTree by Hilton Leominster Tuesday, April 8, 2014 • President’s Welcome • Graduate Poster Sessions • Exhibit Hall • Keynote Address • Afternoon Learning Sessions • MASCA General Session Breakfast and lunch included.

Join your colleagues for professional enrichment, socialization, and networking.

Additional information at www.masca.org/